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80, as the man saw to it that the boy was taken care of,
he vowed never to repair that dent in his car.
He did so as a reminder to himself
that not everyone in need has a brick to throw.
I tell you this, now,
as it relates to our reading from the gospel of Matthew.
By way of the golden rule, do unto others.
A cup of cold water is a gift that everyone can give
because it is the smallest of gifts...
The gift of life.
It is important that we give these gifts to those in need,
because the recipient could be an angel,
or a prophet, or even Jesus himself in disguise.
And these gifts can come in the form of material support
like food, clothing, or even shelter.
When we help others,
we bring them face-to-face with god,
by bringing them face-to-face with us.
So, as we enter into this week,
these final days before Christmas...
I want each of you to ask yourselves...
How am I bringing others face-to-face with god?
It's good to see you, Irene. Thank you for coming.
If you need your steps salted this week, just let me know.
It's gonna get icy out there.
Thank you for coming. It's so nice to see you.
Caleb and Emily, my favorite newlyweds.
If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?
Okay.
It's alright, rigo.
God's love can't be measured in dollars alone.
Yeah, but... father, the place is empty again.
The church is like any living organism.
It shrinks and it grows.
We always get a big crowd for midnight mass. You'll see.
Yeah, well... I trust that god's told you so.
He has, and, hey, our new interface arrived this morning.
You should come by sometime this week. We'll test it out.
Well, yeah, of course, father.
Well, I pray that our combined efforts is enough to inspire hearts and minds.
Well, have a blessed week. I'll see you soon.
You too, father.
Yeah, come on, like that.
Hello?
Excuse me, s-sir. Mass is over.
S-Sir, are you alright?
What, who... Who the hell are you?
I'm father David.
I have to lock up the church now.
Alright, okay.
Er... why don't you just leave me the keys and I'll lock her up for you?
I'm just gonna try to tuck back into this wicked dream I was having.
I'm... I'm afraid that I can't do that, sir.
God be with you.
Come on, you piece of shit ass phone!
Goddamnit, nothing ever works. I can't believe this shit!
Of course, unbelievable!
Hey... hey, are you alright?
Yeah, I'm fine, it's just this piece of shit plastic phone.
I can't get a signal.
My ride's supposed to be here by now. I don't know where she is.
Well, you're welcome to sit in the car and warm up while you wait.
You sure?
Yeah.
'Your call has been fonnarded to an automatic...'
oh, come on! Unbelievable.
I can't believe she'd leave me stranded out here like this.
I tell you what, she got another thing comin'
she thinks I'm walking all the way back!
Where is it that you're headed?
Oh, it's my chick's place.
It's like, a 20-minute drive away.
Well, I suppose I could give you a ride.
Really? You don't mind?
I appreciate that, man.
Hey, like I said, it's only like, a 30-minute drive.
I'm David.
Terry. It's good to meet you. Hey, you want a smoke?
Oh, uh, no, no thank you.
Mind if I do?
J“ time to get busy, time to prepare... j“
hey, I really appreciate you doin' this for me, man.
It's probably the nicest thing anyone's done for me in a while.
I'm happy to help.
Yeah, so you know, my chick, Lexi, man, she's just...
I don't fucking know what's going on with her.
It's like she's been extra hormonal lately, and it ain't the rag either, okay?
A man just knows.
It's like she's trying tell me somethin' without telling me, you know?
How about you?
What's your secret move when your lady's all bent out of shape?
You give her a good old fashioned chimney sweep?
Have sex with her man, come on.
Well, I'm celibate, actually.
Oh, cool, so you got like, both parts?
No, er... as a priest, my life is dedicated to god's holy message.
So I guess you could say that I'm in a relationship with god,
and when god's message seems uncertain, as it often does,
well, I feel that it's important to accept his mysterious ways for what they are.
Miracles in disguise.
Relationship with god, huh?
Well, maybe that ain't such a bad idea.
Oh, shit, stop. Stop, stop, stop! Stop!
Oh, what the hell?
Lexi!
Hey! Baby, this ain't fair!
Come on now!
Terry, I'm not sure anybody's home.
Oh, my gosh.
What did I tell you, David? She's fuckin' nuts, man!
Calm down, okay? It's... it's alright.
Ugh, and this thing smells like cat piss!
Why don't you let me drive you home?
David, home? I ain't got no home, man.
Look at me.
I'm in a transitional phase, alright?
She was letting me stay with her for a while.
How about a hotel?
Or I could take you to a... a family member.
I got nobody, man. She's it.
Look, don't worry about it.
I'm just gonna find a bridge to sleep under like a goddamn troll.
Terry, wait.
Why don't you stay at my place tonight?
Nah. It's awful nice of you, really,
but... I've slept under plenty of Bridges, David.
You'd have your own room and everything.
A warm night's rest will do you good.
You can patch things up with Lexi in the morning.
Please, I insist.
Ah, what the hell.
Oh, wow.
Oh, it... it's okay. It's okay. I got it.
No, David, look. I got it, see?
Okay, thank you.
This is a hell of a place!
The church pay for all this?
It belongs...
Or... well, belonged, I should say, to my mother.
She passed away two years ago.
Whoa!
Who's the bulldog?
That's... mother.
I'm sorry. Oh, my bad.
Wow, egg on my face.
Er... your room is this way.
Whoo-hoo!
It's not much, but it's better than on the street.
Not much?
I guess you ain't slept under too many Bridges, huh?
There's extra blankets in the closet, if you need any.
Oh, no.
I think I'll keep plenty warm with this.
Say, you wanna have a drink with me?
Er... no, thank you. I don't drink.
Really? I thought all you priests were big boozers.
A glass of wine on occasion, with dinner, if so.
Alright. I'll keep that in mind.
Well, I, uh...
I'll see you in the morning.
You got it, buddy. Hey, thanks again.
'As disciples of Christ,
'we must always accept the truth of our guests' message.
'In order to offer hospitality, care, and compassion,
'we simply bring who we are and what we have to those in need.
'It is crucial that we receive the person first,
'before they can receive the gift we offer.
'I hope this post finds you all well.
'Have a blessed week, and I look foward to seeing each of you
'on the Eve of our lord's birth.
'♪Blessed, ♪hospitality, ♪ compassion, ♪sundaysquad.'
What's up, man?
Oh, shit, you change your mind about that drink?
No, er... It's awfully late for the music.
- What's that? - Your... your music, it's too loud.
Hang on. I can't hear shit.
Sorry about that.
Could you please try to keep your music to a manageable level?
It's late and I have a... a big day tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah, of course, man.
And, please, no smoking inside.
Oh, hey, your light's been doing that for like, the last hour.
You wanna show me where the box is, I'll take a look at it for you.
That's okay. I'll take a look at it tomorrow.
Good night then.
Alright.
Night.
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit.
Amen.
What sins have you to confess today?
I'm sorry.
It's just that I don't exactly know what I'm doing here.
It's alright, my child.
You're in the house of god now.
That's the thing. I'm not religious, at all.
I guess I'm just that desperate for help.
It's so stupid. I'm stupid.
You're not stupid.
It's perfectly fine for his stray flock to find their way home.
He welcomes you.
That sounds nice and all, but you ain't gonna go telling no one
about this, now, are ya?
Everything you say here is confidential.
It stays between you, me, and the lord.
What's troubling you, my child?
I'm pregnant.
Well, congratulations.
There ain't nothin' to celebrate.
It wasn't planned, and on top of all that, I'm being evicted from my house!
I just don't know where to turn, or who to talk to.
My family is about as useful
as a shit-covered Popsicle on a hot summer's day.
Well, what about your husband?
He ain't my husband.
He's a loser, a bum,
and I don't plan on telling him a single thing about this ever.
Well, surely, he'll find out.
Not necessarily. Um... I'm considering an abortion.
Life is a gift from god.
It should be cherished and nourished, notabandoned,
and the father has as much of a right to know as your child has a right to live.
Live where? Under a bridge?
Where is the father now?
Huffing paint under a bridge most likely.
He's a lost cause. This is all a lost cause.
Human life is never a lost cause.
Please, talk to the father, try and work things out,
and most importantly, above all, choose life.
Thank you, father.
Perhaps, one day, we'll meet again.
'To Jesus, hospitality meant acceptance.
'This is why he put his arms around lepers,
'ate with tax collectors and sinners, forgave adulterers,
'and even broke sabbath laws.
'Christ's example should be one of acceptance.
'Embrace the poor as he did.
'The term poor, however, is not a phrase simply reserved for those without money.
'We must not forget the poor in spirit,
'and perhaps the poorest of all, the legally poor,
'those without rights, the unborn children of the world.
'We must fight for their right to life,
'as it is a battle they cannot fight themselves.
'The poor are crying out for help, my friends.
'Do not board up your homes for fear of...'
Damn it, baby, why don't you ever...
Hey! I told you not to ring the goddamn doorbell.
Why don't you ever listen to a single thing I say?
I called you 30 fuckin' times.
When are you goin' to learn that that piece of shit phone of yours ain't working?
- Oh, so it's my fault now, huh? - Uh-huh.
I'm so sorry that I don't spend all my money on the latest, greatest fucking gadget.
Oh, what money?
Oh, hey, er...
David, this is, er... This is Lexi.
I told her not to ring the doorbell, David. I swear to god I did.
I didn't have a choice.
Hi, it's so nice of you to let me stay here. Thank you so much!
Um... of-of course.
See? You know, the, er... Her-her heat got cut off.
Can you believe that? Middle of winter.
Damn city can't seem to get their shit together ain't that right, baby?
That's right.
So, uh... let's not keep David any longer than we got to.
I'm sure he's got plenty of churchin' writing stuff to do.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Who the hell else you trying to sneak in here?
That's an awful lot of bags.
Yeah, well... She's an awful lot of woman.
Thanks again.
'Do not board up your homes for fear of god's little ones.
'They are his long lost children,
'his flock, in need of a Shepherd.'
David?
David!
Hey, David, you awake, buddy?
What? What's... what's going on?
It's me, Terry, look.
God, what the fuck is that?
- What? - What's on your face?
It... it helps me breathe. What do you want?
You know, I wanna come up and apologize for what happened earlier.
See, Lexi, she got a hold of me after you'd already gone upstairs,
and I didn't want to bother you.
I thought I could just kinda sneak her in, no problem,
but I did tell her not to ring that doorbell, David.
- I did do that. - It's fine.
- Good night now. - No.
It's not fine at all.
See, David, I haven't been entirely truthful with you.
Her, er... her heat didn't get cut off.
She got kicked out of her house, David.
And the confusion's my fault too, cos she thought I told you
that she was gonna come over.
Terry, it's alright, it's alright.
We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?
Okay. Goddamn, Terry, cryin' like a little bitch.
Thank you, David, for just being so understanding.
Hey, you know, that... your breakerjust probably needs to be reset.
I'd be happy to take a look at it for you.
I'll handle it.
Okay.
Oh, David, uh... one more thing.
Do you think maybe we could turn the heat up just like a skosh, just a little bit?
- Good night, Terry. - Yeah, okay, alright. Good night.
Hey, buddy! Morning. Come on now, grab a seat.
This is all very nice, but you didn't have to do this.
Oh, nonsense now.
A working man like you deserves a well-balanced meal.
Alright, I got fresh fruit, and I hope you like your bacon crispy.
Mm-hmm, you know I do.
This is lovely. Thank you.
After everything you've done for Terry these past few days,
and now me, it's the least we can do.
Yeah, look, David, we're real sorry about all that shit last night.
I know I shouldn't have barged in like that, it's just...
Hey, hey, whoa... Baby, baby, listen now.
Don't go messin' up your pretty face with them cryin' tears.
It's just so embarrassing.
Hey, whoa, now. It's not embarrassing.
Hard times are nothin' to be ashamed of, ain't that right?
Look, David, I ain't too good at asking for things.
That being said, you think there's any chance
the two of us might be able to stay here through Christmas?
And, look, hey, we're happy to help out around here any way we can.
You know, we'll do chores or... run errands.
We ain't tryin' to leech.
I know this is all very sudden, but we don't have anywhere else.
That's alright, Lexi.
I understand your pain and frustration, I really do.
And you're right, I am involved in your situation,
perhaps even more than you know.
However, I have been praying about this all morning
and I've decided that I'd like to help.
That is, if you're willing to be helped.
I've counseled several couples and I've seen firsthand
how god's love can strengthen relationships and save lives.
Also, our Christmas Eve midnight mass is this Saturday.
I'd like for you both to be there.
There's no need for chores or anything like that.
Simply let go and let god.
Let go and let god, I like that.
If you're willing to open yourselves to him,
I'm willing to open my door to you.
Well, hot damn, David, you got yourself a deal!
Sign us up.
Oh! Ho/a, amigo.
Hey, look, man, we don't need any tamales today,
but maybe come back tomorrow or somethin'...
Terry, it's alright. This is rigo, our church pianist.
Oh, whoops.
Sorry about that.
Now, Terry, please remember that we should not dismiss people
simply because we don't immediately know them.
Christ welcomed all into his home, even if he was just a guest.
Right, right, no, you're right. I'm sorry about that, buddy.
Do you want a beer or somethin', man?
And Terry, please also remember our agreement.
No alcohol till after dinner.
Dinner, right.
Alright, boys, I'm headed to drop off some more applications,
so y'all have a good day.
Go get 'em, baby.
I like your hair.
Mm, mm, mm.
Let's go upstairs.
Hey, you boys have fun now.
Er... who were those people back there?
They're god's lost children.
They have expressed interest in joining the church,
so I'm helping them out through Christmas.
Oh, I see.
Are you, er.. Are you allowed to have a woman living here, father?
It's not a parsonage, rigo. It's a house.
It's my house, and you'd know, if you'd read my post the other day,
that Jesus often broke sabbath laws in order to help others.
Well, of course he did. Um... I'm sorry.
Why don't you show me what you got?
J“ wash me in the blood, lord
j“ I'm a disciple
j“ put down the glock, instead picked up the Bible
j“ I was swimming with the sharks
j“ no air, I'm going under
j“ darkness in my life, I'm blind, no Stevie wonder...
It's okay. Keep going.
J“ kickin' that pure heroin for the lord
j“ Christ, you hold the throne
j“ I'll swing the sword...
Terry, please turn the music down.
I mean it, now!
Okay, I'm coming in.
Oh, oh, god.
Whoa, hey!
I'm... sorry.
Hey, David, whoa, hold on, man. Hold on.
Sorry about that.
I just thought I'd... you know, crank one out while Lexi was away.
It's f-fine. It's alright.
I just needed you to, er... Turn down the music.
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry about that.
I didn't think it was gonna be a big deal cos it was the middle of the day and all.
It isn't, it's totally fine.
Er... just... rigo and I were recording upstairs.
Oh, yeah? What you recording, some music?
Church music.
Cool. Well, hey, you need a vocalist, you let me know, alright?
I got wicked pipes.
J“ oh, the devil don't know my name j“
I'm gonna go finish up, man.
J“ the devil don't know my name, whoo j“
father, you sure you're alright?
Yes, I'm fine.
Just a funny feeling in my stomach.
Nothing a good night's rest won't fix.
Want me to get you anything from the store?
Oh, no thank you, that won't be necessary.
Let's reschedule for tomorrow night, okay?
Father, you know we can always record at my place, right?
It's alright, rigo.
This house is for everyone.
J“ devil don't know my name
j“ devil don't know my name j“
Hey, man. Listen, Lexi just brought home a whole fuck ton of chicken.
All the fixings too, so you should come downstairs and have dinner with us.
That's alright. You two enjoy yourselves.
Well, now, hold on, David.
Listen.
It sounds like she had a real good day,
and, er... well, those ain't too easy to come by lately.
I don't know, somethin' like a family dinner might really help sweeten the pot.
I see.
Well, you think about it.
So I went down to the penguin point down the road
and I put in an application,
and they sent me home with all of this.
Look at all this shit!
I mean, that's gotta be a good sign, right, David?
They'd be foolish not to hire you.
Anyways, what'd you boys do today?
You know... hung out.
I listened to David and rigo record some fat tunes.
Oh, do you have a band?
Oh, no, nothing like that.
We, er... well, rigo makes beats and then sort of flows over the top.
I'm his producer, as well as his manager,
a sort of spiritual guide so to speak.
The church supports his efforts.
Spreading god's words through lyrical means.
So, you mean he, like, raps about god and shit?
Not rap, necessarily.
It's more of a warm, welcoming flow.
Oh, I got a warm flow.
But, yes, all in the name with the lord.
Physical attendance at mass can fluctuate,
but this allows us to reach people at home,
at work, or even at the gym.
Rigo has a certain urban appeal that the kids find exciting.
I think it's a great idea.
Don't you, Terry?
Oh, what? Oh, yeah, no, that's way wicked.
Yes, rigo's come a long way since we first met.
You know, his story is not so different from your own.
I found him sleeping in a bathroom at a truck stop only ten months ago.
He was broke, homeless, and in desperate need of a new start
when I heard what sounded like the voice of an angel
coming from the stall next to me.
He's living proof that god's love can transform lives,
but only if you're willing to set sail for new lands.
That's a real pretty story, David,
but I'm a little hung up on one part.
What were you doing in that truck stop bathroom?
I'm just fuckin' with you, man.
I would like for you both... To have this.
It's the same one I lent rigo some time ago.
Allow it to strengthen your relationship with god.
Let it spark curiosity about the mysteries of life.
There's a great deal of wisdom and insight spoken throughout.
Love, relationships, and most importantly marriage
are not simply about loving one another.
They're about loving one another through god
in what we call the transcendental third.
Now, the concept of the transcendental third strengthens the relationship,
because it moves us away from a kind of shared egotism.
Relationships dissolve far too often
because the focus lies merely on one another,
but when we fall in love with the good of god's will,
we enter into a relationship with him,
thus allowing ourselves to attain more stable and peaceful relationships.
Hold on. I'm sorry, David. I'm sorry, hold on.
There's some wicked shit in here.
Listen to this, listen to this.
Book of hosea, chapter 13.
"The people of samaria must bear their guilt
"because they have rebelled against god.
"They will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open."
- Ew! - I mean, this god character's a badass.
Keeping his women in line and his enemies in check.
I should note that that passage is from the old testament
and we really should be focusing on the new testament,
as that contains the spoken, living word of Christ.
Mmm... alright.
I mean, I hear you, but I don't know, I'm kind of digging the old.
This is some gangster shit.
Oh, don't give me that side eye. I'm just having a little fun.
There ain't nothing fun, or funny about pregnant women getting ripped open.
No one's saying there is.
You know what, I got an idea. How about we have a drink?
Lighten the mood a little bit.
Come on, David, it's way past the dinner bell.
I... I shouldn't.
Oh, come on now. Look, listen, listen.
- We did your thing, right? - Mm-hmm.
We had Bible study time.
Now you do our thing. This a give and take.
Just one drink and we'll call it square.
Alright? Look, you can bless it if you have to.
You know he ain't gonna stop till you say yes.
She's right.
I think that's what attracted me to him in the first place.
He's like this big, wet dog that you just wanna take inside and towel off.
Well, I guess you were bit of a stray pussy when I found you too.
- Oh, what'd you just call me? - Hey, come on, baby, I'm just playin' around.
You know you're the finest woman I ever did meet.
- Mm-hmm! - Except for crystal Peters.
Who the hell is crystal Peters?
Now, I told you about crystal Peters.
I told you like, five times. You never listen to me.
Crystal Peters was the first girl I kissed.
- It was fifth grade. - Oh, right.
It was truth or dare behind j.T. Whitwall's house.
David, I swear to god, sometimes I still taste that girl.
I love truth or dare, but my favorite was always never have I ever.
Never have I ever... ever what?
Never have I ever.
It's where you take turns saying stuff you've never done,
and if they've done it, then they have to drink.
That's how I found out, at Thanksgiving, that my uncle begos eats ass.
Mmmm - We should play.
Look, why does everything gotta be a goddamn game?
- Why can't we just have a drink? - I'm sorry, pops, are you scared to lose?
I'll play.
- I'll play if David plays. - I... I can't, really.
I should be getting to my work for the evening.
Oh, David, come on. You can play with wine.
I really shouldn't.
Come on, David. Look, you're already drinking.
Don't leave me alone at the kids' table.
Er... are you sure you wanna be doing that?
- Whoa, whoa... don't... - What the hell does that mean?
Hey, don't challenge her, buddy. She'll drink us both under the table.
Watch.
No, er... look what you did. I told you... hey, that was mine!
Still think I can't hang?
That's not what I meant. I was just trying to...
Look, look, David, David, David.
You got plenty of time to work on your big speech for Saturday, okay?
You're just gonna have a couple drinks with us,
a few laughs, play a few rounds, then you can go upstairs,
and finish what you gotta finish, alright? It's no big deal.
Come on, David.
- Come on, David. - Please.
Play with us.
There we go! That's what I'm talkin' about, whoo!
Let's go!
Alright, I'll get us started.
Never have I ever rang a doorbell,
and since we have all rang a doorbell, we all drink.
Alright, I got it now.
No, David, you gotta shoot it.
- I really can't. - No, you gotta shoot it, David.
Come on, now. It's wine. It goes down easy.
Just... I don't know, pretend it's Jesus' blood or whatever you do.
- Ignore him. - Down the hatch.
Alright, there you go.
Never have I ever played never have I ever.
Okay, baby, we get it. We got it now.
Never have I ever fallen out of a tree.
- Oh, just me, huh? - Mm-hmm.
Never have I ever been bitten by a raccoon.
Oh, okay, now you'rejust pickin' apart the same story.
This is one time, one time. It was a whole big thing.
You should've seen this thing come flying out of this dumpster.
Er... never have I ever been sent to the principal's office, actually.
- Ooh. - David!
- Look at big bad boy David over here. - Trouble maker!
Your turn.
Er... never have I ever missed mass on Sunday.
Well... you got me there.
Alright, go again.
Never have I ever... Eaten meat on Fridays during lent.
I have no idea what that is, so I probably have.
- What the fuck is lent? - I don't know.
Now your turn, Terry.
I'm still thinkin' about it. You go ahead, baby.
Never have I ever been kicked out of a club.
Hmm... what the fuck ain't you drinking for?
We both got kicked out of the tit on Valentine's day last year.
- Oh, shit, I forgot about that. - Yeah, of course you did.
I had to carry her ass out of there.
- Ooh. - David! You did not!
It was a long time ago.
Details.
It was just a... a club.
What kind of club, like...
Oh, you know, it was a... a regular club, you know,
one with guys... and girls, of course.
Never have I ever been in handcuffs,
both because of and not because of the police.
- Ow! - She's fuckin' with me.
Come here, David.
Lexi and I, we got this kink, right?
She'll dress up like a police officer, and I put on this bandit's costume
and my hands are cuffed behind my back.
And we call it "cocks and robbers".
Look at you!
You drinkin' when you didn't even have to.
Oh, I knew you had it in you, David.
You know, I'm... I'm sorry. I really need to go.
No, no, no, no, come on now. David, where's the fire?
We're just playing. Whose turn is it anyway?
It's yours, if you can think of anything.
Okay. No, it's my turn, my turn.
Never have I ever...
Seen my mama naked.
Alright, look, I gotta... You know, I gotta say it.
I'm sorry, no offense, but, uh... this fucking painting is creeping me the fuck out.
I mean, I'm sorry, but I just feel like she's sitting here with usjustjudging me,
- or... her head's too big. - No, no, please don't touch her.
No, look, I'm just gonna turn her around.
It's not... no, no, no, no. Look, she's fine. She's fine. She's fine.
I just can't... I can't do this with her watching.
Oh, iookie there.
Soon as mama goes away, David comes out to play!
Alright, let's do it!
Never have I ever...
Never have I ever, never have I ever, never have I ever...
Heard somebody else having sex.
Never have I ever...
Walked in on somebody cranking one out.
Never have I ever...
Been homeless.
Ooh...
Cold-blooded, this one right here.
That's cold, David. That's cold.
I like him.
Yeah, I like him too.
I'm s o rry, I'm v e w
I'm... I'm very drunk.
Never have I ever fucked a man.
Far too much.
Whoo!
Oh, no... No smoking in the house please.
It's only vapor.
You wanna try it?
No, I gave up smoking back in seminary.
Me and the guys would go through like, a pack a week.
There's no nicotine. It's harmless.
Lexi, baby, you should probably tell him.
Tell him that that ain't tobacco.
That ain't tobacco, David.
You gotta tell him, Lexi. Tell him that that ain't tobacco.
Never have I ever... Wanted to kiss a priest.
I knew it. I knew it.
Oh, come on now.
Can you really blame me?
I mean, look at him.
Handsome man, confident, full of conviction.
He knows what he likes and what he doesn't like.
I think that's sexy.
Plus, it really got me going
when he came in and caught me cranking one out earlier.
And when did this happen?
You were gone, no big deal.
It's got me all... juiced up, is all.
It was an honest mistake.
Sure thing, David. Sure it was.
You boysjust like keepin' secrets from me, huh?
Have a little boy time while mommy's away.
I'm sorry, mama.
I'm sorry.
Morning, sleepyhead.
Did you get the goodies I laid out for ya?
Um... I, er... I-I don't remember going to bed last night.
Well, we carried ya. I hope I put on your mask the right way.
I was pretty sloshed myself.
You should get something in your stomach.
Are you two, uh... here today?
Actually, I got a call back from penguin point,
so I'll be gone for a little bit.
Fingers crossed.
What is so damn funny?
Well, you're playing with my foot. It tickles.
Okay.
Forgive me, for I have sinned.
I strayed from your path and fell prey to temptation
when I know I should not have.
I... I wanted friendship, and companionship,
and I lost sight of your path, o lord.
Hello?
Rigo!
What are you doing here?
Sorry, father. I'm just printing out the music for mass tomorrow.
I heard footsteps, and...
Voices.
Well, it's just me here.
Alright, well... you still down for tonight?
To record?
Oh, right, of course.
Actually, let's do tomorrow instead, in the morning?
I have work yet to do tonight.
Oh, god.
David, hey!
Just in time for a beer, bubba.
No more drinking from here on out, and for the last time...
Hold on, hold on, hold on...
- What? - No smoking inside.
No smoking in the house, no fun David.
No more heavy metal music, cursing, or drugs of any kind, understand?
- Yeah, I... - Understand?
Alright, yeah, listen, alright, I hear ya.
Come on, man, I'm reading the Bible. I'm actually learning a lot.
A couple of drinks and some wicked tunes ain't gonna change that.
My house, my rules.
Last night was a mistake.
No more substances.
Mm-hmm.
Now clean up this mess, gather whatever booze you have left,
and meet me in the kitchen.
Wait, what?
And the cocaine.
Alright, look, I promise I won't have it out around the house again,
but I need it, alright? It ain't gonna be pretty othennise.
A deal is a deal.
Fuck!
Alright, it's down, it's gone, it's all gone, stop!
Don't you feel better now?
I'd rather sleep under a bridge.
You'll get them back once we finish your counseling.
- Are you sure that's everything? - Yeah.
No more hard rock music, nothing with profane lyrics,
- or suggestive themes. - No, that's it, that's all of it!
Well, there's a box of old gospel tapes in the attic if you'd like me to look for them.
No, thank you.
Oh, shit! Hey, I meant to give this back to you.
Where did...
Where did you get this?
Oh, you left it in here last night.
You took it off right before we fucked.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, before we laid down together.
No, but that didn't really...
- That didn't happen. - Well, of course it did, David.
I mean, the three of us went at it in here like we was at sodom and gomorrah.
Although there was a little more sodom than gomorrah, you know what I mean?
- Oh, my god. - You really don't remember?
- God. - Hey, wait! Whoa, hey...
You alright, David?
You okay, bud? You don't look so good.
Hey, whoa, David!
Oh, come on, man. You're okay, buddy.
Hey, look, it ain't a big deal.
Lexi and me, we've done it with tons of people together.
Aw, don't be so hard on yourself.
We had fun, man!
I am a priest, Terry!
Yeah, well, you know, we ain't gonna tell nobody.
Look, everybody takes it in the rear sooner or later.
Okay, alright, I'm sorry.
Look, man, you just came into our room all horned up after we put you to bed.
Seemed like a good idea. We were all pretty twisted.
Oh, you got the hiccups?
Oh, hey, I got a family remedy. Works every time, alright?
You just hang right there. I'll get you some water and a spoon.
'The garden of Eden, the birthplace of original sin.
'Yet however wicked and overgrown that garden may be,
'there is a place far more dangerous,
'a place where murder is not only legalized but celebrated,
'inside a mother's womb.
'As wretched as this place may be,
'i choose to walk among the ruins of this once great nation,
'alone, as Christ once was.
'It is by god's hand guiding mine
'that the children of tomorrow will be saved.'
J“ I said I love the way you ride that dick, baby, you do it like a pro
j“ I love the way you take it from the bedroom all the way to the kitchen
j“ any position and take it in every hole, even on the floor... j“
- Hey! - Turn it off, now!
Whoa, David, hold on now. Lexi got the job, man.
We're celebrating!
Come on, dance with us.
Hey, hey!
Where did you get this?
Look, it's not a big deal. So I found another tape.
Are you gonna congratulate her or what?
Yeah, David, congratulate me.
Congratulations on the job. We're all very proud of you,
but I'm afraid I have no more Patience for lewd behavior.
Now, if the two of you wanna continue to stay in this house, in my house,
then you will gather your... toys from last night,
and you will meet me in the backyard.
Our next lesson is about to begin.
Oh, goddamn, look at that!
Are you kidding me? That's our shit!
The burning of impurities.
From this point fonnard, we forget everything about last night.
Oh, David, is that what this is about?
Look, man, if you wanna forget all the fucking and sucking, that's fine,
but don't burn our shit, man. It's not cool!
From the ashes of destruction comes new life.
I have these, for each of you.
What the...?
That dress belonged to my mother.
I'd like for you to wear it.
Well, that's awful nice of him. Don't you think, baby?
It's what a man and a woman should wear.
Yeah, it's warm.
But, while he was considering this,
an angel of the lord came to him in a dream and said,
"Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife,
"for what is conceived in her is of the holy spirit.
"She will give birth to a son
"and you will give him the name Jesus,
"and he will be a savior to his people."
So, you see, Mary and Joseph stuck it out,
for the future of their child, our savior!
We never know what the unborn have in store for us,
much less for the lives of others,
but what we can never do is abandon said life
for fear of ridicule or concern over the world in which it enters.
And so have you two considered getting married,
or having children of your own?
I mean, well, I think... I happen to think we'd make real wicked parents.
I really do.
As for marriage... I mean, sure.
You know, I... I'll do anything for her.
Marriage is our most sacred union.
A strong, healthy partnership is needed to properly raise a child.
I was raised by a single mother.
Well, look at where you are now.
- Fuck you! - Hey, baby, now don't...
- Allow me to quote... - What?
That's not what he was talking about, okay?
He was saying that if we're gonna have a kid,
- maybe we should be married. - Chapter 127, 3:5.
You know, for tax purposes or something.
Do you two even fucking hear yourselves?
You can read from a book all you fucking want,
but what do you actually fucking know?
- If marriage is so important... - Blessed be the man!
Where is your wife?
Oh, hold on, baby. That's not... that ain't fair.
- Terry. - Don't say that.
It's okay. Let her go.
She needs time alone with the lord.
God!
I mean, ever since the garden, right?
You've been reading.
Yeah, I have. Yeah, a little bit.
You had mentioned, when you first arrived,
that she was acting... I think you said overly hormonal.
- An understatement. - Has that gotten any better?
No. If anything, it's gotten worse.
And she hasn't given you any kind of indication
as to why that might be?
No, not that I can...
Mm-mm.
Why? Did she say something to you?
I'm sure she'll come to her senses soon enough.
You know it, I know it, even David knows it.
Well, then how about you two faggots run off and get married,
have kids, and fuck each other all you want if he's so fucking great?
That is our host you're talking about.
You show the man some respect.
Respect? He set our shit on fire!
Have you heard the way he talks to us?
He is just trying to help, Lexi!
Maybe if you clean the fucking bullshit out of your ears,
you could hear what he has to say!
David... David, listen to me.
This was not my fault, okay? It was her fault.
- You're so full of shit! - Enough!
Get away from her!
A dust pan and a broom, quickly.
It wasn't my fault.
David, here.
You put mama in this, okay?
Okay?
What if I... What if I go get the vacuum?
You know, we can suck up all of the bits of her and we...
You've done enough for one night.
Say your prayers, and go to bed, both of you.
Yeah. Okay.
David?
David, you awake, buddy?
You got, er... You got company downstairs.
What do you think?
We just felt so awful about last night, you know?
So, we went up in the attic and did a little digging,
and thought it might be time to... deck the halls, so to speak.
Don't she just look so cute in her little hat?
These guests, something about them is not right.
They are god's lost children finding their way home.
It's not just them, it's... It's you, and-and the recent posts.
- The posts? - And the drinking and just everything.
- You mean the posts you've yet to share? - I don't know what to make of all of it.
- Or is this your comment? - I don't like what they imply.
There are no implications, rigo, only direct action.
That is how his message spreads, like wildfire across barren lands.
What message are you even talking about?
How dare you question me?
I found you sleeping in a public restroom, alright?
Not the other way around!
And if you can't find acceptance for others the way that I accepted you,
then pray, rigo, pray for forgiveness.
You know what? Forget it.
Just leave.
Our congregation will do just fine without you.
The c... what-what congregation?
Man, I don't know if you noticed,
but nobody has stepped foot in that motherfucker for weeks.
Alright? You're out there talking to imaginary people.
Yo, there's nobody there. It's just me.
If defying your people is what you choose to do,
then so be it.
God doesn't need you and neither do I.
Music's a distraction anyway.
Pray, pray that you may know his message.
His message?
You've... you've twisted his message around so much
that... you don't even know what it means anymore.
Leave!
Rigo!
Everything alright, buddy?
I must tend to my church.
The church is closed.
Come back another time.
But, father, it's me.
I've come to seek your guidance one last time.
Although, I must confess my true identity.
I am a wolf among his flock, a mirage in the red sand,
that slithering sound whistling in the grass,
crimson and black, the one who scorched the earth.
I was there in the beginning, and I'll certainly outlive the end.
I am... the leech.
David, hey! Ah-ha! Where you been, buddy?
Baby, David's back.
- Listen, we gotta talk, man. - Not now.
No, we, er... it's real important. It's about Lexi, she's, er...
- I'm pregnant. - She's pregnant.
Well, of course you are.
I'm glad you finally decided to tell him.
David, there's a chance it's yours, man.
I mean, we both popped off in her, remember?
It doesn't matter whose it is. I'm getting rid of it.
Hey, whoa! You're not doing any such thing, alright?
We agreed we were gonna talk to David before we decided.
- Agreed? - So just shut up for a second.
We haven't agreed to shit, and I'm done arguing!
It's my body and I'm getting it out of me!
Hey, stop calling it an it, okay? That "it" that you're talking about?
- It belongs to both of us. - Belongs?
Shence!
I see what's happening here.
- Hey... - You're trying to blackmail me.
Hey, hold on now.
- You wanna ruin my reputation. - What?
What do you want? Is it money? Is that it? Is that what you're after?
Hey, hold on. You know what? Back up, David.
Where do you even get off saying such a thing?
She's been pregnant this entire time.
She came to confession last week
and she told me everything about her, her eviction,
you, the loser dad, wanting an abortion!
It's the only reason I let her in in the first place.
It's the whole reason for all of this!
It's for the good of your child!
I know I gave you my word, but enough is enough.
You have to tell him.
- Wait, tell me what? - Tell him. It's time to tell him.
Wait, tell me what?
David, I have not stepped foot in a church since I was a kid.
The first time you and I met was right here.
Yeah.
You unholy bitch. You lie!
- Oh, are you really gonna fucking do this? - Hey, whoa!
Don't you fucking talk to my woman like that now!
You need to apologize right now!
Why not? She calls you a loser behind your back.
I do not do that, and I never stepped foot in your shitty church either!
Fine, then I want you out! I want you both out of my house, now!
Lexi, don't you fucking move. We're not going anywhere.
Why are you trying to reason with him? He's crazy. Just look at him!
He's not crazy! David, don't touch me. Don't touch me, David!
David, I'm warning you, don't.
- David, please, listen to me! - Hey, hey, hey!
- I want my home back! - Oh, yeah?
Hey! Stop it!
Stop it, stop it!
- Shit! - Lexi.
Lexi.
Hey.
Baby, please, alright?
I said I was sorry. It was an accident.
I just don't understand why we can't just all have a couple of fucking drinks
and iron this shit out.
- Look at what you did to my face! - I know. I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry. Just stop fucking packing.
Will you just stop fucking packing and listen to me?
Now, listen.
David has the house, right?
And you got the job, and I can just stay home with the kid.
I don't even understand what the fucking problem is.
You're the only one that wants this.
It's over.
Oh, you don't tell me when it's over. You don't fucking tell me when it's over.
Yes, I do. I'm getting this thing flushed out of me first thing in the morning.
You will do no such thing!
Are you calling the cops, David?
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
I sure would hate to tell them what's going on here.
Or, hell, maybe one of them big city newspapers
that just loves to do reporting on holy folk gone bad.
Remind me again, where did you find rigo?
A truck stop bathroom?
Tell me, how old was he when you brought him home, David?
How many other boys have you brought home?
Yeah.
Look, I really am sorry to do this to you, buddy.
I didn't want it to come to this,
but you know I got a family to look after now.
You understand, right?
Why don't you go get yourself cleaned up?
You've got midnight mass tonight, remember?
December 25th.
The birth of our lord, our savior.
Savior of what?
What has man done to deserve salvation?
God sent his only son to earth to save mankind.
So what?
Maybe man doesn't wanna be saved.
Does the Bible not tell us to lock our doors at night?
We did so, when the angel of death flew about, killing as it did...
And perhaps these death angels are among us still.
Do you hear me?
Hell has sent its extermination squad to earth,
and still, you do nothing!
I tell you now, repent!
Pray that god may save your soul
before you too are taken by that cold swift breeze in the night.
Do you hear me?
Do any one of you understand a single goddamn thing I'm saying?
I do, father.
You taught me so much.
How to be a better man,
that a family that prays together stays together,
words to live by, your words.
My words are his words,
and his words will be heard.
David!
David, you gotta help me, man!
You gotta help me.
I fucked up so bad this time, David.
I really fucked it up. She wouldn't listen to me, David.
She was gonna leave us, man! She was gonna leave us!
- What did you do to her? - It's so fucking bad.
She was gonna leave us, David!
She wouldn't fucking listen to me!
I don't know what's happening to me, David.
What is that?
It's mama, David, it's mama!
I snorted mama!
Oh, David!
Whoo-hoo! I snorted mama, David!
Don't worry. We're keeping it.
That's not... That's not possible!
I told you I needed it! I told you I needed it!
It's a Christmas miracle, I suppose.
We're a family now.
What did he do to you?
He knocked some sense into me.
Are you here to knock some sense into me too, David?
We'll all be a family, soon enough.
Look what I got for you, mama.
Just loving each other through loving you. This is what you wanted!
Please, god, please tell me what it is you want me to do.
I have strayed from your path.
I have sinned and I have struggled.
But please... please, god, let me be your messenger on earth once more.
Please, god, guide me by your hand.
Thy will be done.
David?
No, David! Come here, David!
Let me in!
God help me!
I want my house back, now!
Oh, my god, rigo?
Oh, god, rigo.
Hey, is he giving you shit in there again?
Oh, no.
Oh, whoa, man.
You... how are you...
What... what...
What's rigo doing here?
Well, he came over to apologize.
He even brought us a big old plate of cookies.
Some place to raise a child.
Oh, yeah, no, he's dead as fuck.
Yeah, we're gonna have to burn that body.
Hey, what are you doing? Get off your feet, alright?
We gotta go downstairs!
May I come in?
Yeah, of course.
Is, er... everything okay?
There's nothing to worry about. I took care of everything.
Er... here, this herbal tea will help settle the nerves.
It's a family recipe.
Thank you.
Here you go, baby. Careful, it's hot.
Go on now.
Oh, please, it's Christmas, a time for new beginnings.
Come on, what do you say?
Oh, David, we were, er... Lexi and I were just talking,
and we decided on a name for the baby.
We wanna name him David.
Merry Christmas to you both.
Merry Christmas, David.
I have a gift for each of you, but for now, let us rest.
You can have it first thing in the morning.
J“ away in a manger
j“ no crib for a bed
j“ the little lord Jesus
j“ lay down his sweet head
j“ the stars in the sky
j“ looked down where he lay
j“ the little lord Jesus
j“ asleep on the hay...
J“ the cattle are lowing
j“ the baby awakes
j“ but little lord Jesus
j“ no crying he makes
j“ I love you, lord Jesus
j“ look down from the sky...
J“ and stay by my cradle
j“ till morning is nigh
J“ be near me...
J“ lord Jesus...
J“ I ask you to stay
j“ close by me forever
j“ and love me, I pray
j“ bless all the clear children
j“ in your tender care
j“ and take us to heaven...
J“ to live with you there j“
J“ ho, ho, ho
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air
j“ have to work, as a busy bee
j“ to decorate the Christmas tree
j“ or wrap a gift or write some cards
j“ the twelve days of Christmas means busy time
j“ any old Christmas at ours tonight
j“ have to decorate the house with lights
j“ cook a Turkey and bake a pie
j“ and gingerbread if Santa comes by
j“ hurry up, you're just in time
j“ soon, the bells of Christmas will chime
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air
j“ oh, oh
j“ ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah
j“ ooh, ooh, ooh
j“ clean the house, make things glow
j“ find a place to hang the mistletoe
j“ play your favorite Christmas song
j“ and if you got the time, sing along
j“ hurry up, you're just in time
j“ soon, the bells of Christmas will chime
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air
j“ hurry up, you're just in time
j“ soon, the bells of Christmas will chime
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air
j“ time to get busy, time to prepare
j“ Christmas is in the air j“