♪ ♪
-("Red Solo Cup" playing) -Hey, one, two, three.
♪ ♪
♪ Now, red Solo cup is the best receptacle ♪
♪ For barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals ♪
♪ And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles ♪
♪ If you prefer drinking from glass, whoo ♪
-♪ Red Solo cup ♪ -♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ I fill you up ♪
♪ Let's have a party ♪
♪ I love you, red Solo cup ♪
♪ I lift you up ♪
♪ Proceed to party, proceed to party ♪
♪ Now, I really love how you're easy to stack ♪
♪ But I really hate how you're easy to crack ♪
♪ 'Cause when beer runs down the front of my back ♪
♪ Well, that, my friends, is quite yucky ♪
♪ But I have to admit that the ladies get smitten ♪
-(woman grunting) -♪ Admiring how sharply ♪
♪ My first name is written ♪
♪ On you with a Sharpie when I get to hitting ♪
♪ On them to help me get lucky ♪
-(woman gasping, phone beeping) -♪ Red Solo cup ♪
♪ I fill you up ♪
♪ Let's have a party ♪
♪ Proceed to party ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Bah, oh, doo ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Oh, bo, doo ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Ah, oh, doo ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Ah, ooh, doodle, da, doo ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Uh-huh, mm ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ De, dum, dum ♪
-♪ Solo cup ♪ -♪ Ooh, de, da, bah. ♪
♪ ♪
(song ends)
JOHN: The potential in this room is astounding.
I love the potential.
Hundred percent.
JOHN: It's a world of infinite possibilities.
-BEN: Infinite. -JOHN: Hundred percent.
How many "Y"s do I put in "Hey" at this time of night?
-Is it before 2:00 a.m.? -Yeah.
-Two "Y"s. -Okay.
-Three is thirsty. -Thirsty.
And one is curt.
You know what I was thinking about?
Cookie dough became so popular.
It's 'cause it's not finished. It could still be anything.
JOHN: Hundred percent.
Making cookies out of cookie dough is just a suggestion.
-BEN: Hundred percent. -That's what they say
-you could do with it. -Right.
And the same thing-- like dating someone
for more than a month.
It's just a serving suggestion.
-BEN: Hundred percent. -(phone whooshes)
"Kara question mark." That means I don't remember
-where I met her. -Okay.
But it's a question mark with an exclamation point,
which means I should want to follow up.
-Let's see what the options are first though. -Yes.
Exactly that. That's the world that we're living in.
You can just see what the options are for anything.
-(phone whooshes) -Like with travel.
You're not gonna just pick the first flight you see.
You want to see all the flights.
-That's a good thing. -Yeah.
-You get the best flight that way. -(phone dings)
Why wouldn't you get the best person
-by looking at all the potential people? -(dings)
JOHN: And how could you even expect to find one person
who could fulfill all of your needs?
It's easier just to find the most supportive person here.
-The funniest person here. -Right.
-The best sex here. -Right.
The best advice here.
The second-best sex here.
Hundred percent.
JOHN: I don't ever want to go past
knowing what someone's parents do for a living.
If I know what someone's parents do for a living...
-Right. Right. -I've hung too long.
Or, like, siblings. Like, why does anyone want to know
about your siblings? Especially so early.
-Yeah. -"How many siblings do you have?"
Has that ever changed whether you want to date somebody?
It's like, "I have two sisters and a brother."
-Whoa. Hold on. -Well, I'm out of here.
-I'm out of here. -You know what I just say?
I only date only children or the oldest of three.
JOHN: They say, "Exercise your options."
It's like a muscle.
-Options are like a muscle. -Yeah.
Some people are weak and atrophied,
and they don't understand
-how to exercise their options. -Yeah.
-My options are burly and strong and turgid. -(dings)
-BEN: Hundred percent. -(phone whooshes)
JOHN: People say guys like us are afraid of commitment.
No. We're afraid of commitment
to something we can't get out of.
There's no such thing as fear of commitment.
Fear of commitment is fear of regret.
JOHN: Hundred percent. Or fear of intimacy.
Please, I'm intimate with everybody.
-(phone dings) -BEN: Do you ever wonder,
if you did find something deeper with somebody,
if that would somehow be more meaningful?
I do sometimes.
Like right now, I'm casually dating,
like, six or seven different women.
But I do wonder, deep down, what it would be like
to seriously date two or three.
Even when I don't understand you,
I understand you better than I understand anybody.
-JOHN: Hundred percent. -BEN: I love when we hang out.
This is like, if someone were recording this,
that's what my podcast should be.
There should be, like, the sound of a stand-up bass
playing under me right now.
(both chuckling)
-(phone dings) -BEN: Okay, I got one.
"Brunette Random House Party."
"Random House," the publisher?
Or "random house," like a random house party?
-(phone dings) -Oh, "Emily Vogue."
Uh, I'm gonna go with "Kara question mark"
'cause I feel like letting the universe surprise me tonight.
-BEN: What a time to be alive. -JOHN: Hundred percent.
-Hundred percent. -Hundred percent.
Hundred percent.
-Hundred percent. -Hundred percent.
(people chattering)
BEN: I figured it out.
ELOISE: Figured what out?
America.
(laughing) Okay.
I know you're laughing,
but I have a pitch you're really gonna like.
America is divided,
but it's not for the reason that we think.
We think that America's divided by geography:
red state, blue state, city, country.
We're missing something far more profound.
America isn't divided by space.
America is divided by time.
-We don't live in the moment anymore. -Mm.
And why would we, when we can live in any moment
that's ever been recorded?
And when we experience something we really love,
our overwhelming instinct
is to somehow file it away for later.
That's interesting.
We don't watch movies in the theater.
We don't watch TV when it airs.
We don't even have conversations at the same time
because we text.
And when you text, I can say, "Hi,"
and you could say "Hi" back in a second,
-or a minute. -Or never.
Or never 'cause it's you
and you're too busy producing the biggest podcast in America,
which is kind of my point because we're all living
in our own individualized times.
That's why we're living in divided times.
That's... I like that. Ooh.
-You like that? -Yeah.
So, what do you think? Do you think that's a story?
It's a theory.
-A theory is a story. -No, a theory is not a story.
Yes, it is when it's about an idea.
And America is an idea.
That's what makes it so great.
-So, if you're... -No, America is its people.
That's what makes it so fucked up.
Hey. Not every white guy in New York
-needs to have a podcast. -(chuckling)
You have the verified check mark.
You got the New Yorker position.
I want something more.
I don't just want to be a writer.
I... I want to be a voice.
As dorky as it sounds, I care about America.
And not in that faded Lana Del Rey way.
And now I see it falling apart,
and we're just standing in the corner,
like, making fun of it, you know?
I'd like to try to tell some story that... connects.
Okay, okay. Well, then... let me help you connect.
With all your ideas about America--
even if they're good, right?--
you gotta put 'em in a story
'cause Americans listen to stories.
'Cause Americans are people.
They're not... ideas.
-You're-you're here. -Yeah.
You need to be here.
Does that make sense?
Hundred percent.
(through earphones): I'm Robin Dillon,
and this is American Moment.
To the organizers of the Western Montana fly-fishing...
("Come & Seek" by LIA playing)
(computer dings)
-(typing) -(doorbell buzzes)
(beeping)
-Hi. -Hey.
You changed your hair.
-Yeah, you noticed. -Of course.
How's the book world?
The what?
Uh, nothing. Uh, can I get you a drink?
-Yes. -Great.
Um, what can I make you?
Um, can you do, like, a white wine?
Um, sure.
I have to open a bottle for that.
Oh, that's okay. Open it.
I only want, like, one glass.
(train passing in distance)
(ringtone playing)
(ringtone stops)
(ringtone playing)
-Hello? -MAN: Ben?
(man sniffling over phone)
Yeah. Hello?
This is the worst phone call
you're ever gonna get in your life.
(crying): Oh, my God.
Your girlfriend's dead.
I'm sorry. Wh... What did you say?
She's dead.
No, no, the first part.
Your girlfriend.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Hey, I don't... I don't understand.
I know. I know, I know.
We can't make no sense of it either.
Who is this?
This is Ty Shaw.
Abby's brother.
Um, hey, I don't... I don't really know what to say.
Oh, I know, I know this must be so hard to process.
I'm so sorry.
Abby told us so much about you.
Abby.
Oh, my God.
-Abby. -(Ty crying)
-Who's Abby? -(gasps)
Uh, some girl. Um...
-TY: Who's that? -Uh, some...
We definitely hung out a few times.
I-I wouldn't have...
Funeral's Sunday.
Oh, my God. I'm, uh...
Can you tell me where I can send flowers?
(chuckles): Oh, there's no need to send flowers, Ben.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm absolutely gonna send flowers.
Just, uh, you tell me the address.
See if you can text it to me.
If you really want, there's a flower shop by the airport.
We'll just swing by there when I pick you up.
When you pick me up?
Uh, hey.
I will be there in spirit.
Spirit Airlines. Right, man.
That's a great choice.
You just let me know what flight.
Uh, hey, uh, I...
This is just...
I can't do this.
None of us can do this.
Not alone.
(Ty crying)
Y'all had your whole future ahead of you.
-Okay. -(Ty sniffles)
Okay, don't cry.
(Ty crying)
I mean, no, cry. Cry.
-Um, of course. -Oh, God.
Be in touch with your emotions. Um...
I can't believe we have to go through this.
Okay. All right. Um, hey.
Remind me where you guys are exactly.
(clears throat, sniffles) Well, you've been to Texas before?
(exhales)
Texas.
Okay, are you near Austin?
(Ty laughs)
No, we're not near Austin.
-Dallas? -Dallas ain't Texas.
-Houston? -Houston's another country.
Why don't you just tell me where...
Have you heard of Abilene? The city.
Never heard of Abilene, no.
Well, Abilene is about three hours from Dallas.
Okay.
And we're five hours from Abilene.
♪ ♪
WOMAN (over speakers): Ladies and gentlemen...
(announcement continues indistinctly)
Hey. Hi.
(Ty crying)
(crying quietly)
And while she could be quite a handful
when she was a girl...
I can't believe I'm talking about my daughter
in the past tense.
(sniffles)
She was living in New York.
She was finding her voice in music.
And she finally found love.
Ben Manalowitz.
A successful writer
and a regular contributor to New York Magazine.
(quietly): The New Yorker.
But even with all his success,
he always respected our girl for who she was.
"Mama," she said,
"you know how he has me saved in his phone?
Texas."
Well, as short as her life was,
she found her voice,
and she found love.
And that's all there is, right?
-(murmured agreement) -MAN: That's right.
(dog barking in distance)
(Sharon crying)
(Sharon sniffles)
(sniffles)
Let's hear from Ben.
-MAN: Go ahead. -MAN: Go on, Ben.
No, I couldn't.
-Thank you. -You got it.
-Brother, come up. -MAN: Please say something.
-Get up there. -(pats back)
(Ben sighs)
Father. Sir.
(dog barks in distance)
I never expected to be in a situation like this.
I'm sure none of us did.
I wish I had known her better.
I wish I had spent more time with her.
I'm sure all of us feel that...
right now.
Yes.
She loved music.
I know that. I know that.
She loved music.
-Yeah. -(guests crying)
And...
...she will always be a song in our hearts.
(guests exclaim quietly)
(quiet murmuring)
("That's Why We Ride" by Casey Donahew plays over radio)
(Ty sighs heavily)
"Song in our hearts."
Phew. You damn near broke me with that one.
♪ It's those eight-second chances ♪
♪ And cowgirl glances ♪
♪ It's the blood and the glory, baby, that's why we ride... ♪
♪ ♪
Now, I don't know about you, but...
I know it hasn't been long, but I feel like me and you,
we got a real bond.
Kind of like family.
Hundred percent.
Wow.
A hundred percent?
Yeah.
Yeah. I felt really close to you guys today.
Don't just say that to say it.
-Yeah. -I knew it.
(turns off engine)
Abilene just didn't die.
She was murdered.
And the two of us are gonna avenge her death.
What?
You and me, we're gonna track her killer down
and deliver vengeance.
Okay, nobody said anything about a killer.
An overdose? (scoffs)
At a party in an oil field?
Yeah. The girl never took so much as an Advil in her life.
You know that. You know her better than anybody.
Did you call the police about this?
In Texas, we don't dial 911.
Not even for, like, a fire?
Fire or ambulance, fine.
Who do you think did it?
I got a couple theories.
Cartels. Mexican gangbanger I got my eyes on.
I mean, this is just the beginning.
It goes deep.
And what's this based on?
Gut.
Right. What's behind that though?
Ain't nothing behind gut.
Gut's behind everything else. Otherwise, who are you?
I really think this is something for the police.
Yeah. You talk about the police
like it's just the same everywhere.
Like the police is, um, McDonald's
and justice is an Egg McMuffin.
We don't have the police.
We got Mike and Dan.
You and me, we were the men in her life.
And they fucked with the wrong two guys.
Okay. Um...
So, as, like, a personal boundary,
like, everybody's different.
Some people don't eat certain foods.
You know, everybody...
-I don't avenge deaths. -Mm-hmm.
It's just who I am.
I... You know, I don't live in a Liam Neeson movie.
But you kind of look like a guy from a Liam Neeson movie though.
Okay.
Which one am I thinking about?
It-it was a train. No, i-it was...
-It was just on TV. -I don't know.
Schindler's List. Oh, my God.
You look like a lot of those guys in that movie.
(quietly): Yeah. Thanks.
You know, that was my least favorite Liam Neeson movie.
Huge downer.
It was a really sad movie.
Ty, I know that you're in a lot of pain.
Oh, yes, sir. We both are.
And you have a lot of anger.
Goddamn it, I'm asking you for your help.
If we don't do this, it's like leaving her body
out in the middle of that desert for the rest of our lives.
I know it the minute I saw you.
'Cause heart sees heart.
Stay down here and avenge Abby's death with me.
Oh, what a story that would be.
(ringtone playing)
Is this a pocket dial?
BEN: I have a story.
-Can it wait? -No.
I'm in Texas. I'm on my way back from a funeral.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
It's okay. It's not someone I was close to.
But you flew to Texas for it?
Uh, yes.
Uh, it was a girl I hooked up with a few times.
You flew to Texas
to attend the funeral of a random hookup?
Her family thought that we were more serious than I did.
Do you know what?
This is a story.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
It's you.
The-the... Your whole way of life.
It's dating, it's hookup culture.
How it enables disconnectedness.
-The selfishness. -No.
-The emptiness. -No.
-The hollowness. -That's not what I meant.
The lack of self-awareness.
Okay, that's not what I'm pitching.
It's really how sad your life is.
Okay, now you're fucking with me.
Listen, I'm in West Texas
where this family just lost their daughter
to an opioid overdose.
That is sad but common.
Except, her brother won't accept it's an overdose.
He says it was a murder.
Based on what?
Nothing.
And that's the story.
This is an existential crime story.
This is In Cold Blood, but there are no killers.
This is about a new American reality
that people can't accept.
So instead, they invent these myths and conspiracies
so they can cast themselves as heroes because...
the truth is too hard to accept.
The death of Abilene is about the death of American identity
and the need to find someone to blame for it.
This isn't just a story about vengeance.
It's a story about the need for vengeance.
The meaning of vengeance.
Dead white girl?
Holy grail of podcasts.
Eloise, I wish my recorder were already on.
He's saying such crazy things already.
ELOISE: Her brother?
He is such a character.
And you can get close to the family?
Can I get close to the family?
They think I was her boyfriend.
I mean...
...I went to her funeral, for God's sake.
ELOISE: That's good.
I mean, it's fucked up, but...
but it's good for this.
So?
Okay, let's give it a shot.
Oh!
Okay, talk to me. Give me everything.
Stay with the family,
get as close as possible, record everything.
'Cause you never know what will be important.
I'll be your editor, so I'll pull selects
-and see what's there. -Okay.
I'll have Tracy overnight you the equipment,
but just use your phone in the meantime
and get the story, stay safe.
You got it.
-Not in that order. -In that order.
(phone beeps)
(clears throat)
The dust in West Texas settles like rain on a lake.
I'm under a West Texas sky, bright blue Texan sky,
where I've just learned about the death of Abilene Shaw.
My...
A person...
...who lived here.
TY (laughs): Hell yeah, brother.
All right.
I'm gonna stay with you guys for a couple of weeks.
I'm gonna record everything
that you think happened to Abilene.
-Okay? -Hell yes. Then we kill him.
No.
I'm gonna put it on a podcast...
...and it will be on podcast platforms.
That's fucking brilliant.
-Yeah. -You're fucking smart.
All right.
Once people on Reddit find out...
(engine starts)
...they'll kill him for us.
♪ ♪
TY: All right.
♪ ♪
TY: Hey, Mama.
Guess who came back after all.
Ben.
-Hi. -Oh, my God. You came back.
Ah... Oh. Thank you.
(clears throat) Um, I hope I'm not imposing.
Please.
We have this empty seat at the table.
We can use all the distraction we can get.
Can I get you anything?
Um...
Uh, just, uh, what's the Wi-Fi situation?
Oh, it's a little temperamental-- it'll kick in.
Did you have a chance to meet everybody before?
Uh, no.
I would love to.
-Uh, this is Abilene's sister, Paris. -Hi.
-She's 24, fixin' to be 25. -Yep.
She's gonna be a famous filmmaker.
It is a pleasure to meet you, Paris.
Pleasure. I've heard so much about you.
I've-I've heard... Yeah.
And this is Kansas City.
She's 17, fixin' to be 18.
And she's gonna be a famous...
Just famous.
SHARON: KC, I told you.
Those are not our values.
You have to be a famous something.
A famous...
celebrity.
These are really your daughters?
I mean, you all could be sisters.
(chuckling): Oh. You are so sweet.
You think that I look this fucking old?
And this is El Stupido.
-Sorry? -This is El Stupido.
That's what you call him?
Oh. It's okay, Ben.
He don't speak Spanish.
And, uh, and how old are you?
Nine.
Fixin' to be ten?
Yes, sir.
SHARON: Boys, come on.
-Ben, come take a seat. -Thank you.
You have a lovely home, by the way.
-TY: Thank you. -BEN: It's really nice.
-This is Granny Carole. -BEN: Yeah.
Granny for short.
-Um, nice to meet you, Granny. -Yeah.
Thank you. Um...
So, Ben, tell us about yourself.
Do you come from a close family?
Yes. Um, we're very close.
We don't see each other much, but we're very close.
GRANNY: You from Texas?
Oh. No, I'm not.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That you're not from Texas.
(Ty chuckles)
-Have you been to Texas before, Ben? -Yes, actually.
I've been to Austin, uh, for South By.
GRANNY: For what?
Uh, oh, South by Southwest is an annual festiv...
No, for what band?
You don't just go to South By.
You go see a band, don't you?
Uh, well, true.
I was part of a journalism panel
about the future of new media.
-TY: Amazing. -That's so cool.
-TY: Mm. -Thank you. -PARIS: You're welcome.
Um, speaking of.
Would you mind if I recorded this dinner?
-GRANNY: Oh. -Record us now?
-PARIS: Yeah. -TY: Hell yeah.
Would we mind?
-I love being recorded. -BEN: Great. Fantastic.
-Oh, my God. -(Granny chuckles)
-Hey, smile. Okay? -Great.
GRANNY: Well, would you want to hear
the story of Texas?
-Absolutely. -Huh? -Go, Granny.
GRANNY: All right. Right here.
-SHARON: My goodness. -GRANNY: Mm. Okay.
1836.
Texas is part of Mexico,
made up of settlers and English-speaking white folk.
And, uh, they didn't like the government.
What else is new?
Them Texans wanted to do things their own way.
What else is new?
So, you take everybody's two favorite things,
government and Mexicans.
And guess what happens.
-Huh? -TY: Go on.
-Guess. -You should... In your words.
All right. All right.
Well, Generalissimo Santa Anna
brung up 7,000 Mexican soldiers
to fight against 186 Texan rebels
at a place called the Alamo.
And the Texans won.
-That's very inspiring. -(Paris chuckles)
TY (quietly): Say what?
The Texans didn't win, Ben.
BEN: Mm.
They teach math where you from?
186. 7,000.
Um...
7,000 is more, Ben.
GRANNY: It was a massacre.
It was unspeakable cruelty.
(crying): Unspeakable cruelty.
BEN: I'm sorry. I had no idea you didn't win the Alamo.
-Um... -(phone chiming)
I feel like you guys talk about it a lot.
Who's "Equinox Girl Cute"?
-Um, a friend. -(phone chimes)
Who's "Paris Review Party Asian"?
-BEN: Excuse me. Um... -Very good reading.
Let me, uh... The Wi-Fi must have just kicked on.
-Who's "Natalie Bumble"? -(phone chiming)
-BEN: Um, let-let me just... -Who's "Katie Raya"?
-Let me put that on... -GRANNY: Raya?
Let me put that on airplane mode.
GRANNY: I thought Raya was supposed to be exclusive.
So what do you think of this place, Ben?
BEN (laughs): I love it.
-Are you joking? -Are you serious? You love it?
You're from New York City.
-KC: Literally nothing happens here. -PARIS: Yeah.
Well, um... I mean, it is a little...
-KC: Hmm? -You know.
-Bleak. -PARIS: Come on, that's not fair.
-We just got a Target. -Excuse me? How dare you?
Do you know how fucking good our football team is?
-This is our town. -Okay, look, I don't know where to...
where to land here. Um...
TY: Ben, there's probably something you should know
-about this place. -Yeah.
This is the most, uh, wretched,
godforsaken stretch of land on the face of the earth.
And I'd never leave.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. That's how I feel about Twitter.
-PARIS: Mm. -TY: See, Ben's a journalist.
One of the finest there is.
He writes for the New York Magazine.
BEN: New Yorker. Yep.
And he's gonna help us find out
what really happened to Abilene.
I was saying we go out and settle with a .45,
but Ben gives a whole new perspective to the situation.
Ty, you can't solve something like this with a .45.
It's not as simple as one person.
It's a whole system, son.
Tell us what you mean, Granny.
It's the breakdown of society, is what it is.
It's the breakdown of the school system,
-the government. -TY: Mm.
It's the pharmaceutical companies.
It's the breakdown of the family
and tradition.
Oh, there's a whole lot of people responsible
-for what happened to Abilene. -SHARON: That's true.
-Yes, ma'am. -PARIS: Amen.
I think that's very wise.
You're gonna need a 12-gauge, couple of ARs.
-No. -Yep. -A Wesson automatic.
-No, no, no. -And a sidearm for safety.
-Yep. Exactly. -We're not doing that.
GRANNY: Oh, we're not? Yeah.
I didn't think you had the balls.
Are you gonna help us, Ben?
You know, um...
(Ben clears throat)
There's some things I'm good at.
I'm good at asking the right questions.
I'm good at getting people to talk.
And I'm especially good at drawing thematic connections
between seemingly disparate elements
and using that to illustrate
a larger point or theory.
So, whoever or whatever
is responsible for what happened to Abilene,
I will find this person
or this generalized societal force,
and I will define it.
I'll define it.
Bless your heart.
I guess we have a guest room now.
Ty.
Well, rest up good.
We'll meet in the morning and start to solve this.
Yeah.
See you in the morning.
-Good night, Ty. -Good night.
♪ ♪
(sighs)
♪ ♪
(computer dings)
(phone buzzing)
(keys clicking)
(breathes deeply)
(overlapping chatter)
Good morning.
Yeah, that's it. What else...?
-Can I say it proves a lot? -Yeah.
WOMAN: I'm gonna take a short break here,
and during this break, I hope you'll call
and support this station during this long, important
-membership drive. -ELOISE: Thanks.
We have some great free gifts to offer you,
and I'm not just talking coffee mugs.
♪ ♪
TY: Well, Ben, there's really two versions of life out here.
Boom times, everybody's rich and busy.
It's like one big party out here.
And then the bust comes.
It's really like two different places out here.
It's always boom or bust.
Which is it right now?
(clicks tongue)
Kinda in between.
Yeah.
Kinda in between, to tell you the truth.
Okay.
(grunting)
-TY: You son of a... -(grunting)
-Get off. -TY: Crawl. There's our worm.
CRAWL (over headphones): Oh, you like being on top.
-CRAWL: Get off. Yeah. (laughs) -Whoo!
This the guy?
Yep. (sighs)
CRAWL: Hmm.
Let me save you some time: Sancholo.
Sancholo. Sancholo.
BEN: What's Sancholo?
CRAWL: The guy who killed Abilene.
A Mexican drug dealer.
Evil motherfucker.
You name it, he's got it.
Not crazy about his prices though.
So, you know who killed Abilene?
Yes, sir.
Did you call the police about it?
TY and CRAWL: Mike and Dan?
Those lazy fucktards.
Everything's an accident.
Gun accident.
Uh, driving accident.
CRAWL: I've known Abilene
since we were knee-high to a grasshopper.
She never touched so much as an Advil,
and-and then, out of the blue,
they find this angel, this angel,
dead of an oxy OD at a party he threw!
TY: Ooh, you're getting me warmed up.
CRAWL: He's been obsessed with her since middle school.
Yep. He'd call the house every night.
They used to be on the phone for hours.
CRAWL: He's just a piece of it anyway.
It's too big to understand.
You got deep state in bed with pill pushers,
-cartels, pedos. -Uh-huh.
-The law. -How, wha...
Hey, shh. Hey.
And you're a piece of it, too.
So, um, I'd love to talk
to some of the characters you mentioned.
Mike and Dan? Sancholo?
Oh, he's gotta be at the rodeo in Holliston.
TY: No doubt.
There and the honky-tonk, too, afterwards.
-That's where a drug dealer can do their best business. -Mm.
'Cause everybody goes to the rodeo.
White, Mexicans.
CRAWL: You really want to avenge her with him?
I'm like a brother to you.
Well, he's like a brother-in-law.
CRAWL: Oh, come on.
Ben, you ever been in a fight?
You mean like a physical fight
or like an online skirmish?
(Crawl shouts)
(laughing)
-(Ty chuckles) -CRAWL: I got him.
Crawl wouldn't hurt a fly, would you, Crawl?
I never understood that expression about flies.
Yeah, I'd kill a fly,
but what kind of sick fuck would hurt a fly?
Make it feel pain? Hmm?
You don't have any idea where you are, do you?
Hmm?
Want me to show you a map?
Welcome to Texas.
You are here.
(imitates gunshot)
♪ ♪
BEN: Morning, KC.
Hey.
Uh, would you like some coffee?
-Sure. -How do you take it?
In the mouth?
BEN: All right, tell me something
that you love about where you live.
-Whataburger! -Whoo.
-Oh. -Yeah. -BEN: Okay, great.
Um, tell me about it.
-You want to go right now? -Yeah, let's go.
-BEN: Uh... Uh... -I'm ready.
-You want... -Just, no, just, uh, tell me about it.
You're gonna love Whataburger, Ben.
-Oh, it's the best. -What makes it the best?
Wherever you are, there's a Whataburger.
Yeah. It's always right there.
Okay. And then when you get there,
what do you like about it? What do you get?
-Whatever you want. -It's always right there.
You could order whatever you want, Ben.
Right, but there are a lot of places like that.
So, let's say (clears throat) there is a McDonald's,
a Burger King, a Sonic and a Whataburger
all lined up.
Which one do you go to?
ALL: Whataburger!
Right, right. Why?
ALL: Because it's right there!
Yes, but they're all right there.
In this scenario, they're all right there.
So, what do you get out of Whataburger?
What makes it better to you?
-What are you getting... -Ben.
Asking why you love Whataburger
is like asking why you love Christmas
or a summer night or why you love your dog.
I mean, you could point to the reasons,
but the reasons aren't really the point.
You just love it, and that's how love works.
♪ ♪
BEN: I'm on my way to get
what could be some good local color.
It's the place Abilene recorded some demos.
I'm heading towards the Quentin Sellers Music Factory.
A place in Marfa, the arts town, where...
people pursue their dreams of musical stardom.
His motto is "making dreams come true since 2018."
Eloise, if you have, um... if you can play a clip of that,
um, Rebecca Black song, "Friday,"
that would be really funny here.
I bet it's cheap to play.
♪ ♪
GIRL: ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
(vocalizing)
♪ Yeah ♪
(vocalizing)
(continues vocalizing)
♪ Yeah ♪
(vocalizing)
(continues vocalizing)
(clicks button)
-QUENTIN: Okay. -(vocalizing stops)
-Hi. -Hi.
What is music?
Like, singing and stuff.
Yeah, that's right.
Let's take a step back.
I want to share an idea with you.
There's no argument more profound
than how the universe came into existence.
-(quietly): Oh, God. -Are we here because of God
or science?
I mean, it is, by its very nature,
the most fundamental question.
But there's one thing that everyone agrees on.
And that is whether it was God declaring,
"Let there be light,"
or an infinite particle of energy
bursting forth in the big bang.
Everyone,
and I mean everyone,
agrees that the universe
started with a sound.
Why do I call myself a record producer?
-I don't know. -(Quentin chuckles)
Yeah, I mean, we don't even make records anymore.
(chuckles quietly)
What we're recording here isn't your record.
It's your sound...
on the record that started
with the very first moment in time.
So when you sing this song...
...I want you to think about how what you're making
is the record of your time here on this earth.
It's the sound that you scratch
with your life...
...on the record of the universe.
-Okay? -Okay.
-(button clicks) -(gentle beat begins)
♪ I finished my shift at Claire's ♪
♪ Climbed up those steep mall stairs ♪
♪ And the pain of having nowhere to go ♪
♪ Pierced the skin of my soul ♪
♪ As I sat on the steps ♪
♪ And waited and waited ♪
♪ For no one to take me home. ♪
Yeah.
Thank you.
QUENTIN: I call this place the Factory.
-You know, after Andy Warhol's Factory. -Hmm.
Most people around here think it's a reference
to C+C Music Factory.
Which, honestly, I-I think Warhol would've loved, but...
Yeah, actually. Yeah.
I'm from out here.
I went to college in New Haven.
BEN: Oh, I went to school in Boston.
QUENTIN: Yeah, I thought about staying there,
but this is the place that needs something like this.
The problem isn't that people aren't smart.
The problem is that they are.
If the landscape is like this,
a-and people were just boring, you wouldn't have this problem.
The problem is, you get all these bright, creative lights
and nowhere to plug in their energy.
And so it gets channeled into conspiracy theories
and drugs and violence.
Who are your favorite music artists right now?
BEN: (exhales) Um...
-QUENTIN: Can I take a guess? -Yeah.
QUENTIN: You're a playlist guy.
BEN: What does that mean?
QUENTIN: When some computer recommends you a bunch of songs
based on your favorites, and a bunch more
-based on your favorites of those. -Right.
So you're listening to a bunch of music that,
-I mean, you genuinely like... -Yeah.
...but you have no idea who sings it.
Now, these playlists, it's like the dating app for music.
You're not hearing other people's voices.
You're just hearing your voice get played back at you.
How are you supposed to fall in love?
Art used to be in charge of us.
You used to buy a whole album
not even knowing what songs would be on it.
Now we have everything on demand.
At your fingertips.
In pieces.
You think half the people that are posting quotes
from Oscar Wilde have ever actually read one of his plays?
No.
Or posting photos of Audrey Hepburn
have actually seen the film that it's from?
-No. -Not a chance, right?
What is that about, huh?
It's the same in culture as it is in archaeology.
When a civilization collapses,
only the tiniest fragments remain.
But we can build it back again.
How?
Make recordings.
Real people.
Not what people think that they already know
and want to hear.
Real people.
Not some generic stereotype or generic song.
Real people.
What's this podcast about anyway?
Well, um, it's about America.
Okay.
It's about the myths that we tell ourselves.
Who is it about?
All of us.
Every story we tell is ultimately about a person.
Abilene Shaw.
Abilene.
Yeah.
You're making a podcast about Abilene.
Well, it's a little about Abilene.
-I'm trying to make it more about... -No.
It's about Abilene.
The person.
That's all you need.
What did you think about her music?
I haven't really heard it.
Shut the front door.
-I mean, I have... -Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
Come with me.
Here it is.
Everything we ever recorded.
-BEN: Thank you so much. -You're in for a treat.
Doesn't she have a sister who wants to be a singer?
BEN: Wants to be famous.
QUENTIN: Means she knows she's somebody.
Just doesn't know who yet.
She needs to find her voice.
What about my voice?
I'll put you in the studio.
What do you want to do?
I-I, you know...
If I came here for advice about my voice, my...
you know, my writing, my podcast,
what would you tell me?
I'd probably say that nobody writes anything.
All we do is translate.
So if you ever get stuck and you don't know what to say...
...just listen.
Even to the silences.
Listen as hard as you can to the world around you and...
repeat back what you hear.
That translation,
that's your voice.
(chuckles)
I gotta say, this is not anything
like what I expected to find.
You came here to make fun of me, didn't you?
-No, no. No. -No, I get it's...
It's... I get it.
Record producer in the middle of nowhere.
You thought I'd be sillier, smaller.
I get it.
Hey, look.
It's already working.
You listened.
You learned.
(Quentin chuckles)
Welcome to Texas.
(Ben chuckles)
Thank you.
♪ ♪
The setting sun sets Texas afire with a glow.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's fucking beautiful.
Well, hi.
(applause, whistling)
ABILENE: Thank you.
Uh, when I told my mama that I was gonna move to New York
and try and make it in music,
she looked at me and she just said, "Bless your heart."
Which is Texas for, "Fuck you."
Love you, Mama.
(guitar strumming gentle melody)
♪ True love will find you in the end ♪
♪ You'll find out just who is your friend ♪
♪ Don't be sad, I know you will... ♪
(nervously): Ah...
Will you help me unjam my gun?
I don't know how to do that.
They ought to call you El Stupido.
(chuckles)
Can I sleep on your floor?
Yeah.
Of course.
(quietly): Thank you.
("Still Drivin'" by Paul Cauthen playing)
♪ ♪
♪ I'm still drivin' ♪
♪ When's this break gon' come? ♪
♪ You back my pickin' ♪
♪ With a big ol' timpani drum... ♪
Vengeance is a unique phenomenon.
TY (whispers): Texas invented vengeance.
BEN: It makes no sense if you think about it.
Every other primal human instinct
leads to a clear evolutionary reward.
But vengeance is different.
It's not about the future.
It's only about the past.
TY: When that massacre happened, we didn't retreat.
We didn't say, "Let's all make sure we don't get Mexiphobia."
We said, "Remember the Alamo."
BEN: It's not about hope.
It's about regret.
SHARON (over headphones): Abby was always creatively minded.
She would make movies with her sisters.
Music, of course.
Oh, she had such a beautiful voice.
I really wish more people could've heard it.
GRANNY: You're a writer.
Anything I'd know?
BEN: None of this.
The desperation that you see around here,
it's not from a lack of intelligence or creativity.
QUENTIN (over headphones): It's an excess.
PARIS: We're not really a gun family.
We have a few rifles for shooting targets,
a couple handguns for safety, and...
-And that doesn't concern you? -Why would it concern me?
There's this playwright, Anton Chekhov,
and he says that if there's a gun in act one of a play...
There's no guns in any one of his plays I can think of.
Cherry Orchard, no. Uncle Vanya, no.
I'm not actually that familiar with his plays.
Uh, I'm more familiar with his theory.
But the stakes of these feelings aren't hypothetical.
They're all too real.
I'm your host, Ben Manalowitz, from American Radio Collective.
This is Dead White Girl.
-(phone chiming) -ELOISE: Hey.
So, this is great.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm, like, dorking out over this family.
Their family's like my family.
BEN: Great. Great.
Do you have any notes?
Yeah. I got a couple.
Thought you said you loved it.
You asked if I had notes, and I got notes,
okay, first-timer?
Okay. All right, all right, what do you got?
Okay, you're stepping on people's lines,
-and we need it clean, so... -Yep, yep.
Just like what you're doing right now. Don't do that.
Right.
Don't talk while they're talking.
Just listen... or pretend to listen.
Okay. What else?
And you know what would help some people?
If you... if you... if you do, like, a silent laugh
to egg them on.
You know, like, um...
Like what? I lost you.
Like-- No, I'm doing it.
Right, okay.
Where are you going to next, the... the rodeo?
Yep, my first rodeo.
I'm really excited.
Apparently, it's a real socioeconomic cross section.
Yeah, and horses and bulls and stuff.
You're doing it?
Yeah, could you tell?
(laughs) Good luck.
(chuckles)
-(indistinct chatter) -(cattle bellowing)
TY: All right, Ben.
-You're gonna love this place. -Yeah.
A whole lot to see, lot to take in.
BEN: "Fourth Annual Bull Bash Cowboy Protection."
Cowboy protection for, uh, bullfighting
-in Oyster Creek, Texas. -Cool. Excellent.
And, uh, you're a pitmaster.
Yes, sir.
And what is the secret to your success?
Time and more time.
-(cheering) -Bingo! -Ten points!
TY: Oh, hell yes!
-Ben, you're gonna love this. -BEN: All right.
Deep-fried Twinkies.
Ben, you gotta try one of these.
-Hello, beautiful. -Oh! Hi.
Can I get, uh, one, two, three, four, five
deep-fried Twinkies?
Uh, can we get one of those grilled?
It's fucking good.
-Fucking good. -Yeah.
TY: Just keep a low profile, Ben.
We'll find our man. No doubt.
BEN: Hundred percent.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to the Holliston Rodeo.
We say a special hello to our sponsors, Stetson Energy,
McGuane Energy, Trailways Energy Company,
Rawson Energy, the T&B Energy Company,
Panhandle Energy, Andrew & Sons Hardware,
an Energy Corporation,
Anderton Energy Transport, Donahue Energy,
and the Quentin Sellers Music Factory,
making dreams come true since 2018.
Now, carrying the six beautiful flags of Texas,
welcome our beautiful riders.
-(cheering) -TY: All right, Ben.
The six flags of Texas
-are the six countries that Texas has belonged to. -Okay.
-Can you name all six? -Uh, the United States.
Uh, France, Louisiana Purchase, Spain,
Mexico. Uh...
Um, uh... Republic of Texas!
What's that, five?
Not bad, brother. Not bad.
Nobody ever gets five.
Right.
So Six Flags, the theme park...
TY: Exactly.
-Is a Texas company. -Right.
("Deep in the Heart of Texas" plays)
Very interesting.
ANNOUNCER (over headphones): And now, ladies and gentlemen,
if you're a real Texan,
you know what to do when this song plays.
(crowd humming along to song)
Did you really just try to Shazam
-"Deep in the Heart of Texas"? -Uh...
No.
(crowd clapping)
Now, ladies and gentlemen, who here is a die-hard fan
of the University of Texas?
Whoo!
ANNOUNCER: And who here is a fan of Texas Tech?
(cheering loudly)
Okay, let's hear from both sides.
Can we have the UT fan come down?
-PARIS: Good luck, buddy. -CRAWL: Give them hell, Ben.
Is this for real? Are you seriou...
PARIS: Do you think we're joking?
ANNOUNCER: And let's get a Texas Tech fan.
(crowd cheering loudly)
Okay, let's start with Mr. University of Texas.
(crowd jeering)
ANNOUNCER: Now, what's your name, son?
Ben Manalowitz.
-What the whosit? -(comical whistle plays)
(laughter)
And what do you do, son?
I'm a writer.
A rider?
You don't look like a rider.
What do you ride, son?
Huh?
ANNOUNCER: Well, there's lots of kinds of riding.
You can ride horses, steer, tractors.
No.
I'm not a rider. I'm a writer.
I'm a writer.
So, like, you know, uh...
when... when you come across a book or a magazine...
...or even an article that you read online.
Somebody has to...
has to actually think about what those words...
I know what a writer is, you condescending asshole.
(crowd jeering)
(scattered laughter)
Well, tell me, Shakespeare,
what do you like so much about the University of Texas?
(jeering)
Well, I like that it's a state school.
So, it gives financial opportunities
to local people who could use the help.
And I know that it has a very good film department.
Some of the graduates include,
I believe, Richard Linklater.
Uh-huh. Okay.
And what do you like about Texas Tech?
Quarterback Matt Harris!
(cheering loudly)
Guns up!
Repping Tech!
(cheering continues)
♪ Shake that thang, make that thang ♪
♪ Bend until you think it's gonna break that thang... ♪
TY: Don't worry about it.
-Nobody's thinking about it. -Yeah.
Erase it from your mind.
Enjoy.
♪ When she moves that thang, grooves that thang ♪
♪ Swing to the rhythm of the groove that thang... ♪
Whoo! Shake it, girls!
♪ Nobody else does what she does to me ♪
Not you, KC.
♪ Shake that thang... ♪
BEN: How do they all...
know how to do the same...?
Collective consciousness.
♪ Every song is such a sight to see ♪
♪ When she moves that thang, grooves that thang ♪
♪ Swing to the rhythm of the groove that thang ♪
(whistles loudly)
♪ Speaks for itself ♪
♪ Nobody else does what she does to me ♪
♪ When she shakes that thang... ♪
Sancholo.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-You going over there? -Yeah.
You want my gun?
You brought a gun?
Didn't I? Phone, keys, wallet, gun.
-Yeah. -No. No.
♪ Nobody else does what she does to me ♪
♪ When she shakes that thang ♪
♪ Swinging like an old screen door ♪
♪ Lord, she makes that thang... ♪
Excuse me, are you Sancholo?
I was hoping to talk to you for a second.
You a cop?
Not a cop.
Cop don't have to say he's a cop.
Then why did you ask?
-Right? -'Cause you're wasting my time.
Figured I might as well waste yours.
Look, I'm a journalist.
I'm doing a story.
I was really only hoping to ask you a couple of questions.
-I'm just trying to... -Just trying to what?
-Fucking killer! -CRAWL: Hey, Ty. Relax!
Guys, guys, guys, guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Go easy on him. He just lost his sister.
Most beautiful girl in Texas.
So what I heard was that you were at the party
where she died.
Lucky me.
She took her last breath
-on my shoulder. -(hits shoulder)
(recorder beeps)
My name is Ben Manalowitz.
I'm doing a podcast about Abilene.
I would love to hear your side of the story.
MAN: Hey.
We got a regular Joe Rogan here.
Joe Rogan meets Seth Rogen.
(man chuckling)
Just you.
(dog barking in distance)
(music playing in distance)
(lowering rolling door)
When I was in middle school,
my mom wouldn't let me read Harry Potter
because of church stuff.
So I would call Abby every night.
She would read it to me.
I don't know what made her care about me.
I was like, "Why me?
I'm just an effing dropout drug dealer."
She'd say, "Heart sees heart."
Right.
She used to text that to me
every day on that dumbass little Razr phone.
-You remember those? -Yeah.
5-4-5.
5-4-5: Heart sees heart.
It was, like, her little code.
I miss her so much.
(Ben clears throat)
You told me that her last breath was on your shoulder.
And other people told me
that you threw the party where she died.
I wasn't even there.
(chuckles): Okay.
Where were you?
(Ben clears throat)
Look at the date.
Where is this?
Tulsa. I went to see Adele.
(Sancholo chuckles)
I was there with my niece.
She... She loves her.
Adele?
Obviously, I'm gonna have to kill you
if you tell anyone about that.
(laughs): No, it's...
Yeah.
I'm a fan.
So...
you have an alibi,
but you want people to think you killed her?
These fucking cartels, man.
They're gonna control everything pretty soon.
-You're the cartels. -(laughs): No, sir.
It kills me to claim her,
but I don't know.
If they don't actually think I killed someone,
then I might have to kill someone...
(stammering)
...to prove myself.
That's not really how it works, is it?
It's what I heard.
Go on Snopes. It's not a real thing.
Excuse me?
So, let me piece this together. She OD'd...
The fuck? This is Abby we're talking about here, okay?
She wouldn't touch the stuff.
Girl wouldn't touch an Advil.
Listen, they found her two and a half miles from the party,
at a spot where all the deaths happen
called "the Afterparty."
You don't just wander off like that by yourself.
Someone takes you there.
This was no OD.
No fucking way.
Who goes to these parties?
Everybody.
-Everybody goes. Nobody went. -Yeah.
-Same people every time? -Yes.
When's the next one?
Whenever I want.
("Cumbia Del Sur" playing in distance)
You're at 11%, bro.
You might want to switch to low power mode.
Thank you.
♪ ♪
(ringtone playing)
Hello?
BEN: What if she was murdered?
What?
We dismissed the first theory presented
without even thinking about it.
What if we're not taking them seriously?
Wait, so are you saying the Mexican drug dealer did it?
Definitely not that.
But that was the first theory presented.
I'm just sure it wasn't that.
Why are you so sure?
Gut.
-Gut? -Look,
I know we liked what we had before.
Something about America and fantasy and regret
and the meaning of vengeance.
No, no. This... this is better.
This just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Right?
Okay.
Stay safe.
Get the story.
Not in that order.
No. In that order.
(phone beeps)
♪ ♪
(breathes deeply)
(no audio)
(hinges creaking)
What are you watching?
Um, videos of Abilene.
Do you see my phone?
How it's, like, cracked.
Yeah.
It makes me look the way that I feel.
-Um... -(door creaks closed)
(snoring softly)
MIKE: Where do I know you from?
Rodeo.
-(snaps fingers) -It's the Longhorns fan.
Indeed it is, Mike. Indeed it is.
Actually, that was a misunderstanding.
I'm sorry. I'm not even a football fan.
Um, I was just trying to fit in.
Funny way to fit in around here.
Point taken.
I didn't know there was gonna be another team.
I was cheering for Texas.
Um...
I'd love to ask you a couple questions
about the death of Abilene Shaw.
-OD'd. -Accident.
I know that was the official report.
I was wondering, were you able to talk to anyone
who was there the night she died?
You ever go to a party out by the pump jacks?
Everybody goes and nobody was there.
I wasn't there.
(whispers): I wasn't there.
(both laughing)
Why are you so interested anyway?
You her, uh, boyfriend or something?
Uh, we hung out.
Yeah. Yeah, I was her boyfriend.
Well, you know, 90% of the time it's the boyfriend who did it.
Okay, I wasn't... I wasn't really her boyfriend.
His story's starting to sound a little inconsistent.
(sighs heavily): Swiss cheese.
Yeah, um, I'm not trying to cause any problems here.
I'm really just trying to help the family.
You know, this isn't even our jurisdiction anyways.
(Dan sighs)
Party happened outside city limits.
-Mm. -That's county, not city.
-County sheriff. -Sheriff'll talk.
Sheriff's a politician.
(laughs) Ain't that a fact.
I'd love to help you, son, but our policy is we can't comment
on our process or cases.
Well, I was interviewing people for a podcast
that could be heard by millions of people.
But I guess that's not a possibility.
SHERIFF: These are oxy sticks.
See how the pills are squared off?
That way, they can pack 'em in boxes to the corners
-without wasting any space. -Mm-hmm.
That's how big this business is.
We don't know who's shipping it.
All we know is they're coming along the interstate
right along the border.
And that route cuts right by the oil field
where the party was.
SHERIFF: The most common overdose spot in the county.
We call it "the Afterparty."
Very common thing, sad to say.
BEN: What's this right here?
Looks like two pairs of prints.
Cowboy boots.
Calling out an APB to find two men wearing cowboy boots.
(laughter)
-Okay. -MAN (over radio): What the fuck?
Stand down.
Son, I wish you well, I really do.
And bless your little heart,
but this ain't even our jurisdiction, though.
-It's not? -No, sir.
This was along the highway.
You want to talk to highway patrol.
Well, ain't that just like a sheriff to puff his hot air
and blow you straight into my office.
If there's a drug overdose at a party
in some fucking field off 29,
I'm sorry, but we got shit to do.
We're not a bunch of Army rejects
just gazing at the Rio Grande.
-I never said that you were. -I wasn't talking about us.
Oh, is that what they told you over at highway patrol?
Well, you can go tell Junior Brown
and the rest of them glorified meter maids
that if they spent more time with their real guns
and less with their radar guns,
we might not have to chase the goddamn Texas syndicate
up and down the Trans-Pecos!
Got it?
Yes. If I find a natural way
to work that into the conversation with them,
I will do that.
-DRT. -DRT.
-Dead right there.
BEN (over phone): Law enforcement was no help at all.
You're learning a lot down there, aren't you?
The murder or overdose happened where a lot
of these things happen.
At the intersection of four overlapping jurisdictions.
So they all kicked it to each other.
What are the odds?
ELOISE: What are the odds?
Okay, I'm gonna kick this around
with the team for a little bit, shake up the Boggle board,
and then I'm gonna hit up Robin to get her thoughts.
BEN: All right. Thanks, Eloise. Thanks, everybody.
-Bye, Ben. -Bye, Ben.
(sighs)
Um, you're probably not even gonna watch this,
but I'm back home in Texas, and I'm bored.
This is my little brother, Mason.
-(snoring) -He sleeps on my floor
because he's afraid of ghosts.
And I tried to tell him
there's no such thing as ghosts, but whatever.
It keeps him close to me.
So I guess it's not all bad being here.
That's, um...
Well, that's it.
(El Stupido snoring softly)
Mason.
Yes, sir?
Just saying good night.
You woke me up just to say good night?
Yes, sir.
(sighs heavily)
I love you mucho.
TY: Collective consciousness.
BEN: If everyone believes the same thing...
♪ ♪
...but without any facts to support it,
do we listen to that intuition or dismiss it?
TY: An overdose?
Girl never took so much as an Advil in her life.
CRAWL: She never touched so much as an Advil.
MIKE: You ever go to a party out by the pump jacks?
Everybody goes. Nobody went.
DAN and MIKE: I wasn't there.
(laughing)
QUENTIN: The problem is you get all these bright,
creative lights and nowhere to plug in their energy.
And so it gets channeled into conspiracy theories
and drugs and violence.
BEN: I came here to find out why people in grief
would choose to believe a myth.
CRAWL: I don't know shit about how this all connects,
but you bet your ass it does.
MS-13? La Línea?
BEN: Yeah, I'm familiar with La Línea.
They actually murdered 41 journalists last year.
CRAWL: Oh, they've done bad things, too.
(Ty laughing)
BEN: But now I find myself wondering
how much truth might be embedded in that intuition.
You don't happen to know her phone password, do you?
Took it to every Geek Squad in the state.
It's impossible to crack.
-This ain't us. -You got the wrong department.
-Highway patrol. -Mike and Dan. -Border patrol.
-Sheriff's department. -You want county.
BEN: Everything's bigger in Texas,
including your expectations and its reality.
I'm your host, Ben Manalowitz,
and from American Radio Collective,
-this is Abilene. -(phone chiming)
Hey.
Guess who's on the line.
ROBIN (over phone): Hey. It's Robin.
I produce American Moment.
Yeah. I-I know who you are.
It's-it's, um... It's great to meet you, Robin.
-How are you? -ROBIN: Great to talk to you.
I love what you're doing with Dead White Girl.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
ROBIN: Eloise pitched that we use some of the story
as a segment on American Moment,
and that would help promote your series.
Wow. So it'd be on American Moment.
Everything you're getting is great.
The characters are amazing.
Yeah. No, I mean, the characters are unbelievable.
Ty is just a total firecracker.
(chuckles): And Granny deserves her own show.
And then Abilene, I mean...
The more people hear her voice,
the more they're gonna fall in love with her.
ROBIN: So if you think you can tighten up what you have,
we can work it into Sunday's episode.
Yeah. I... Absolutely.
I'd love to.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.
ROBIN: Can I ask what you're eating?
This is, um, Frito pie.
ROBIN: It's great sound.
What is that?
(laughing): Uh, Frito pie
is when they cut open a bag of Fritos
and they pour chili in it.
Then you eat it out of the bag with a fork.
Ugh. That is disgusting.
Yeah, in a good way.
(explosion)
-(static crackling) -Ben, are you there?
-(phone beeping) -Ben, did I lose you?
What happened to you, son?
My Prius exploded.
DOCTOR: Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank heavens. Are you all right?
Hey.
-BEN: Yeah. -Oh, look at that.
-Oh, hey. -What happened?
-I'm fine. -His car blew up, Mom!
Oh, it's so fucked up! This...
-Tyler Clayton! -Sorry.
We're just so grateful you're all right.
Oh, my God. What if you were driving a real car
with gas and stuff?
-(chuckles softly) -(Ty sighs)
Yeah.
Ben, this is a message that we're getting close.
Or it's kids fucking around for no reason with Tannerite.
I can't believe you're all here.
Well, where else would we be?
Come on. The girls are waiting in the car.
(quietly): Let's go.
-Hey, are you limping? -No.
You sure about that?
-Come on, Mama. -Yeah. His face looks all right.
-He's gonna be all right. -Yeah, I seen worse.
Come on, buddy.
-WOMAN: How is everything? -BEN: So good.
GRANNY: This is our friend Ben.
And this is his first time at Whataburger.
(whooping, laughter)
-Let's have a toast. -PARIS: Thank you.
-To Ben. -Come on, to Ben. -To Ben.
-Whataburger, Whataburger. -To a good milkshake.
-Whoopah. -Over there.
Thanks.
(Granny chuckles)
Well, what do you think?
I love this.
GRANNY: You do? (laughs)
And it's always right there.
(laughter)
-Excuse me, Mama. -SHARON: Ooh.
Mm.
KC: It's a Texas thing.
You're not supposed to do it, but you're supposed to do it.
You're supposed to take your lucky number,
but we figure every number's lucky to somebody,
so we take all of 'em.
I won't tell Mike and Dan.
Like they'd do anything.
They'd say it was an accident.
(Granny laughing)
-(phone chimes) -PARIS: Party tonight.
-KC: Oh, what's the dress code? -Ugh.
Broncos and buckle bunnies.
KC: Ugh. You know, they're seriously phoning it in
with the themes nowadays.
You want to come tonight?
You can borrow something from my closet.
You're okay to go?
It doesn't stir up too many feelings for you?
You gotta keep living life.
Like Catherine the Great said,
"You gotta get right back under the horse."
-GRANNY: Tyler Clayton. -(chuckles): What?
I-I listened to that history podcast you recommended.
GRANNY: I've got a question for you.
Have you got family in Texas?
BEN: No.
You do now.
-Isn't that right, everybody? -PARIS: Yes, ma'am.
SHARON: Careful what you wish for, Ben.
(ringtone playing)
One second.
GRANNY: Who's got a honey thing over there?
-Um, I got some right here. -Anybody? Mmm, mmm, mmm.
-Hey. What's up? -ELOISE: Hey.
Your car blew up?
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yes.
I mean, I wish I got that extra rental insurance
that no one ever gets, but I'm fine.
Good. Well, listen, I finished it,
and everyone loves it.
Thanks. What do you mean "finished it"?
You're clearly in danger,
and you've already got everything you need.
Well, I didn't solve the murder.
It's better this way.
You know, an ambiguous ending without resolution.
That's... that's the secret weapon with a story like this.
It gnaws at you.
It haunts you forever.
You never let it go.
BEN: No, there's more to it, Eloise.
I-I'm getting so close.
ELOISE: As much as we'd love to see you
-blown up for a story... -No, no.
...my conscience tells me
I have to choose a person over a story.
No.
No, no.
Otherwise, it would take, like, two years of therapy
to justify it, and...
I can't afford that on my plan.
Look, you're gonna be huge from this.
Okay?
Come home.
(phone beeping)
(breathes deeply)
-You remember? -SHARON: Hey, you.
Hey. Sorry about that.
EL STUPIDO: Who was that?
Friend.
Was it Equinox Girl Cute?
Or was it Natalie Bumble?
Uh, it was, uh, my podcast producer.
Uh, and everything's on track.
You're very sweet to ask.
I love you mucho.
We're so lucky you found Abilene.
I really don't know what she saw in me.
SHARON: I do.
I get it. I totally get it.
-Heart sees heart. -Oh. (laughs softly)
You know, when I came down here to spend time with Abby's...
"Crazy Texan family," right?
(laughs): Yeah.
Uh, I never thought it would be like this.
People can surprise you.
Yeah.
Like Abilene.
I mean, she was full of surprises.
-Like Abilene. -Mm-hmm.
Great reputation, but a huge pill-popper.
♪ ♪
What?
What'd you just say?
Mm. Put that in your podcast, maybe.
Where'd you hear that?
The girls told me.
Ty told us not to say anything.
♪ ♪
Are you fucking serious?
I thought you wouldn't do this with me
if you knew that she was using.
You think?
Drugs was something Abilene did.
It's not who she was.
But it is how she died,
which is what we were investigating.
I thought there was more to this.
I thought that you and I would get to know each other,
and that would be cool.
I... Maybe it was part of the grieving process.
Denial?
Isn't that one of the 12 steps of grief?
It's five stages of grief, 12 steps to recovery,
but I understand that everyone here
is more familiar with the latter.
It's complicated.
It's not. It's actually very simple.
Everything here is actually really simple,
and maybe that's why it took me so long
to understand it.
Well, I was following my heart,
and that's what we do around here.
You follow your heart.
Yeah.
Well, maybe it's time to look around
and ask yourselves how that's working out for you.
Maybe you should try following your brain for a change.
Because when you follow your heart,
the Earth is flat,
climate change is a hoax,
vaccines contain microchips,
and Mexican drug dealers killed your sister.
You invent these insane fucking narratives
to explain why your lives are such shit shows
because the truth is too scary for you to face,
which is that you did it to yourselves.
Do you know what people say about you guys where I'm from?
-Let me guess. Bad things. -No. Worse.
We say good things.
"We took them seriously
when we should've taken them literally."
You're neither.
You're not serious people.
And maybe it's time for you all
to take us seriously and literally
because where I'm from is fun and interesting.
And the people are rich and diverse,
and, meanwhile, your town looks like this!
Bless your heart.
Oh, and I know what that means.
So you know what? Bless your heart.
Bless all your hearts.
All your hearts can go bless themselves.
Who are you to talk to us?
I had to drag you to her fucking funeral!
(scoffs) Who are you?
If your car would've blown up in Brooklyn,
would anyone-- anyone come to help you?
First of all, I wouldn't have needed a car in Brooklyn.
Second, if I had one, I doubt it would've been blown up
by God knows who.
I don't understand you people.
"You people" is a microaggression.
My apologies. Y'all.
"Y'all" is a cultural appropriation.
(chuckles): Paris...
you accusing someone of cultural appropriation
is cultural appropriation.
Why wouldn't you look after her?
Check in on her?
You wouldn't do anything for her, would you?
That's right. I wouldn't.
I was hooking up with different people,
and I assumed she was, too,
because I live in the real world,
and that's what everybody does.
I tried to tell you this when you called.
She wasn't my girlfriend.
She was just a girl in my phone.
(grunts)
(Ben coughing)
(coughs)
Now you've been in a fight.
(Ben coughs)
I don't know the whole story...
...but life is complicated.
Even around here, if you can believe that.
I'll tell you what I think.
I think people don't do drugs for no reason.
They do drugs because they're in pain.
Pain like...
like maybe caring for someone who hardly knows your name.
So, I don't know, Ben.
But if you're still looking for someone to blame
for what happened...
you may not have needed to come all this way.
Bless your heart.
(truck belt squealing)
-(coughs) -(car door closes)
(engine starting)
(dog barking in distance)
(vehicle driving away)
♪ ♪
(sighs heavily)
♪ ♪
BEN: You were right, Eloise.
I was the story.
A self-absorbed know-it-all
thinks he's gonna figure out the meaning of America,
and all he learns is how empty he is.
I was the one living a myth.
They say you regret the things you don't do.
I didn't love.
I have no story.
I guess that's the story.
I am the story, and the story sucks.
The story is nothing.
I'm coming home.
(beeps)
(sighs)
EL STUPIDO: I'm scared.
BEN: What are you scared of?
EL STUPIDO: Ghosts.
Ghosts aren't real.
If they're not real, how come everyone knows what they are?
They're real as an idea, but they're not real, real.
That's what's scary about ghosts, that they aren't real.
If ghosts were real,
they wouldn't be scary at all, right?
We would just smile and say, "Hi, ghosts."
Hi, ghosts.
(laughs softly)
Hi, ghost.
Wouldn't that be cool?
If when someone wasn't there anymore,
there was still a little piece of them
that could surprise you sometimes?
Yeah.
But there's not, there's nothing.
And that's what's scary about ghosts.
That the little piece of someone
that feels like it might still be there
isn't there at all.
Do you feel better?
No.
Me neither.
Thanks for listening.
I'm leaving tomorrow, Mason.
I love you mucho.
1-4-3-5.
What?
1-4-3-5.
It's what Abby used to say to me.
She used to say, "I love you mucho,"
but then she shortened it.
So it was kind of like a secret code
'cause that's the number of letters
in "I love you mucho."
EL STUPIDO: 1-4-3-5.
(keys clicking)
♪ ♪
(line ringing)
(ringing continues)
♪ ♪
(ringtone playing)
Hello?
This is beautiful.
BEN: What is?
What you just recorded.
Your concluding piece.
It's what we talked about from the beginning.
It's disconnection, myth...
Uh, stories are always personal, but...
...this is you.
You know, it's so you.
It's kind of... everyone.
You didn't lock that yet, did you?
ELOISE: No, not till the morning.
It's on the server if you want to check it out.
Great, great. Uh, just-just don't touch it tonight.
There's, uh... It's not 100%.
There's a tiny piece I'm gonna add.
No, don't touch it. It's great.
You're only gonna fuck it up. Don't.
(vehicle rumbling over phone)
Where are you right now?
Uh, I'm in an Uber.
Well, anyway, good job.
People are gonna love this.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Or maybe I did.
Heart sees heart, right?
Okay, all right.
All right, just wait till the morning, okay? Okay, bye.
("Got an Evil Eye" playing in distance)
♪ I won't be your chosen one ♪
♪ I'll just be your fire ♪
♪ I won't be your favored son ♪
♪ I'll just be what you desire ♪
♪ I won't be your superman ♪
♪ But I'll be your fear ♪
♪ I won't be your promised land ♪
♪ I'll just be the voice you hear ♪
♪ Ooh, shot, better run and hide ♪
♪ Ooh, shot, got an evil eye... ♪
-Don't go anywhere. -Yes, sir.
♪ 'Cause, ooh, shot, got an evil eye, yeah ♪
-(music continues playing) -(loud crowd chatter)
-(loud chattering, laughter) -MAN: Look at him!
-(people whooping) -(loud popping)
(laughing)
-(fireworks popping) -(whooping, trilling)
MAN: Fuck yeah. Texas Tech fireworks, bitch.
Red and black, baby.
Are you shitting me?
I told you black fireworks ain't gonna show, you jackass.
I can see 'em.
Oh. Hey.
It's the Longhorns fan.
How's your car, man?
You like what we did to it?
That was about football?
(mutters): Jesus Christ.
(men chuckling)
(fireworks whistling and popping)
What the fuck are you doing here?
I got an invite.
-Oh, you're wearing my shit. -Yeah.
-What the fuck? -(Crawl grunts)
Okay, well, it's his hat, so...
You better be careful.
That's a loaded gun.
You keep your gun loaded?
You keep your phone charged?
-How'd you even get here? -Mason drove me.
(laughing): Who in the fuck is Mason?
Mason's your fucking brother.
I'd watch your back.
You don't have friends here.
Look who it is.
(fireworks banging)
Look who it is.
-My friend. -QUENTIN: Look at you, bud.
How you doing?
How's that podcast coming?
I sent it in last night.
You're still here?
Still here.
Texas has a pull, doesn't it?
Kinda gets under your skin.
Hundred percent.
Why don't you turn that thing on?
Got a story for you.
Fellas.
(fireworks popping)
First drug law in the United States passed in 1875.
The Chinese rail workers
-brought in the opium den. -Mm.
And this country was so anti-immigrant
that they banned the opium den.
-Not the opium. -Hmm.
(chuckles): Right?
You ever hear anything more American than that?
I mean, now we got an opium epidemic
breaking out across the heartland
with all the ceremony, majesty, glamour
and fun's removed.
And-and that's what people yearn for.
You see what I'm saying?
Do you think Gary Webb would've won a Pulitzer today?
You know, I think you were smart for staying here.
-BEN: Yeah? -Yeah.
That story about Abilene, it's nice.
I think you were meant to tell a bigger story.
Ask yourself, what part of the country today
is it in certain people's interest
to keep devastated, demoralized,
dependent and divided?
You got the opioid crisis,
nation in divide, civic unrest.
Why are all these things happening at the same time?
What do you really think is going on here?
(fireworks continue popping in distance)
Told you I had a story for you.
(woman laughs quietly)
BEN: So what are you saying?
That it all connects?
That the conspiracy theories are true?
QUENTIN: What I'm saying is
people can sense the truth,
but they're grasping for the facts.
See, a myth is just a truth without facts.
That's why it comes out all abstract, gnarled,
wrong.
Easy to dismiss and ridicule.
Nobody listens to them
because they don't have the facts.
But I do.
And you, Ben...
Yeah.
(whispers): ...the whole damn world will listen to you.
(rustling)
Where are they going?
Afterparty.
The Afterparty.
Tell me about that.
I mean, people overdose a hundred times a day, Ben.
That's a fact.
But they can't do it in a place where it's gonna be
a problem for people like you and I. Hmm?
That's what happened to Abilene.
Abilene?
I mean, she died at a party like this.
I thought you finished that story.
Oh. (laughs softly)
This is just for us.
Well, it's not a very good story anyway.
Oh, she was a drug addict.
She OD'd.
Then she tried to call 911.
Oh. In Texas, we don't call 911.
Yeah, I've heard that.
They record all those calls.
We gotta be very careful about what gets recorded.
Yeah. You do.
It's all that's left of us.
The recordings.
And people like you and I, Abilene,
everybody posting photos of every part of their day,
we trade in our entire lives
for the tiny pieces that get recorded of us.
Abilene tried to call 911.
You didn't let her. Then what?
(fireworks whistle, pop loudly)
Oh, boy.
Don't get distracted.
You gotta admit, that's a hell of a distraction.
(laughs) That is... That's kind of like
the very definition of distraction.
-Abilene. -♪ Abilene. ♪
-Abilene. -(deep voice): ♪ Abilene. ♪
What happened to Abilene?
Do you believe in ghosts, Ben?
I got a call from a ghost earlier.
Kind of thought I'd be seeing you today.
What happened to her?
Why do you care so much?
Why do you care so little?
(fireworks popping)
She overdosed.
Instead of helping her,
you dragged her to the Afterparty,
which is a spot with no cell reception
at the exact intersection
of four overlapping law jurisdictions
where you knew her death
would just become an anonymous statistic.
Hmm.
It's well said.
Very succinct.
Yes. That's exactly what happened.
(Quentin laughs softly)
Brilliant.
You got it.
You got it all.
That's a story about America.
Let me know if you need me to rerecord anything.
Or, like, rephrase things.
I can do that, too.
What?
Oh, come...
You and I are gonna be sitting on a panel
talking about this. I want it to be great.
We both know how this works. Right?
Yeah, I-I mean, at first,
everyone's gonna think you got your bad guy.
Nobody's gonna let it be that simple.
Everyone's gonna have to have their take
'cause that's how it works now.
Everyone has a take.
See, if you don't have a take, you don't have a voice.
If you don't have a voice, you don't exist.
So yeah, at first, everyone's gonna blame me.
But then someone's gonna say, "Wait a second."
There's a big difference between leaving somebody to die
and killing somebody.
Then they're gonna turn to you.
What were you doing here in the first place?
What was your relationship with her?
Why would you exploit her grieving family?
(laughing): Those...
Those characters.
I mean... I mean, that's what they're gonna be.
Famous characters.
Not famous people.
And then they're gonna blame the family.
Oh, I hope they're ready for that.
They'll blame the president.
The last president.
(sputtering)
And then they'll start in with the conspiracy theories.
You know, and someone will refute the conspiracy theories,
and then one side will make their version like their cause.
And the other side will take the other side
just to take the other side and on, and on.
Until your story proves
the defining truth of our time.
Which is what?
Everything means everything.
So nothing means anything.
("American" by Lana Del Rey playing)
Some things mean something.
Yeah?
Like what?
Abilene?
(scoffs) You didn't care about her.
You came here for yourself.
-(fireworks popping) -For recording.
And then you heard her music.
And you saw her photos.
The record of her.
And that's what you care for.
A recording.
Not a person.
We are all...
just inspirations
for the record of ourselves.
You and I both know it.
You got your opus.
And that's what matters.
But Abilene?
The person?
(scoffs)
Come on.
She was just some girl.
That's the truth, Ben.
Hundred percent.
♪ ♪
(beeps)
-♪ Drive fast ♪ -(gunshot)
-♪ I can almost taste it now ♪ -(gasping)
♪ L.A. ♪
(weak gasping)
♪ I don't even have to fake it now ♪
♪ You were like so sick ♪
♪ Everybody said it ♪
♪ You were way ahead of the trend, ge-get it ♪
♪ "Elvis is the best, hell yes" ♪
♪ "Honey, put on that party dress" ♪
♪ Like ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, ah ♪
♪ You make me crazy ♪
-♪ You make me wild ♪ -(fireworks popping)
♪ Just like a baby, spin me round like a child ♪
♪ Your skin so ♪
-♪ Golden brown ♪ -(loud crowd chatter)
-♪ Be young ♪ -(fireworks popping)
♪ Be dope, be proud ♪
♪ Like an American ♪
♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Like an American ♪
♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Everybody wants to go fast ♪
♪ But they can't compare ♪
♪ I don't really want the rest ♪
♪ Only you can take me there ♪
♪ I don't even know what I'm saying ♪
♪ But I'm praying for you... ♪
(song fades)
WOMAN (over radio): We got a report of a possible overdose.
4940, Afterparty.
Ambulance en route.
A 911 on a Saturday night?
Bullshit.
People.
MAN (over radio): Got a report.
Quentin Sellers shot in the head.
Q?
I never thought of that guy as accident-prone.
♪ Let's get wild tonight, check your heart at the door ♪
♪ That ain't what tonight is for ♪
♪ It's an old times, good times... ♪
(guitar plays gentle melody)
♪ Gonna send you this text when I get signal ♪
♪ I'll know just the words to say when I do... ♪
(birds chirping)
(footsteps approaching)
I heard that y'all made up.
Yeah.
And I understand that was quite a party last night.
I wasn't there.
That's right, you weren't.
But...
I heard it was a pretty good party.
(Sharon scoffs)
I've... very much enjoyed being in your home.
You're gonna need a ride.
That's true.
My car is, uh... (chuckles softly)
SHARON: What are your plans when you get back?
BEN: Guess I have to find a new story.
After all that?
What about all that stuff with Abby?
I think that story's just for us.
Oh.
That's nice, too.
No regrets.
I never understood that.
No regrets.
I mean, how do you... (scoffs)
In my life, everything starts with a regret,
ends with a regret.
In between, regrets.
It's all regrets.
You run as fast as you can from the last regret
and, of course, you're just running
straight into the next one.
That's life.
It's all regrets.
That's what they should say.
No other way to be alive.
It's all regrets.
Make 'em count.
(door opens)
♪ ♪
(music fades)