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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Zoe!

4
00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:10,792
- Aunty Aisha.
- Lovely to see you, Zoe.

5
00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:12,583
You're looking fresh.

6
00:02:12,584 --> 00:02:15,543
Oh. Excuse me. Sorry.

7
00:02:16,209 --> 00:02:18,459
Hello. No, no, I can talk.

8
00:02:19,251 --> 00:02:20,750
She's always going!

9
00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:22,751
Oh. Oh, right. Um...

10
00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:25,833
Well, can I come in
and discuss this with you?

11
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,501
I have other ideas.

12
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:30,668
That's great. Okay, goodbye.

13
00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:32,208
Long time no see,

14
00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:34,042
Miss award winning
documentary maker.

15
00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:35,125
Can I have your autograph, please?

16
00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:36,250
Kaz.

17
00:02:36,251 --> 00:02:38,167
What are you doing up there?

18
00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:40,667
- Same as always. Sneaky ciggy.
- Oh.

19
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:41,917
Come up.

20
00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:43,583
Please don't tell me

21
00:02:43,584 --> 00:02:45,793
your parents still don't know you smoke?

22
00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:48,084
I'm an oncology registrar.

23
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,793
It's not the best look, is it?

24
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,209
But they're happy
now I'm getting married.

25
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:55,543
You are? Hey, congratulations.

26
00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:57,793
- Who's the lucky lady?
- Don't know yet.

27
00:02:57,794 --> 00:02:59,209
What do you mean?

28
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,459
I'm going old school
on this one.

29
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:01,793
I'm getting
an arranged marriage.

30
00:03:01,794 --> 00:03:03,084
"Assisted marriage".

31
00:03:03,085 --> 00:03:04,752
That's what we're calling it
these days.

32
00:03:05,127 --> 00:03:06,334
Huh...

33
00:03:06,335 --> 00:03:08,377
What, like assisted suicide?

34
00:03:09,877 --> 00:03:11,126
I can't get my head round

35
00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:13,043
marrying someone you don't know.

36
00:03:13,044 --> 00:03:14,084
It might be easier

37
00:03:14,085 --> 00:03:15,584
than marrying someone
you do know.

38
00:03:15,585 --> 00:03:16,668
Mmm.

39
00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:17,834
Did you never wanna get married?

40
00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:20,876
Ooh, "never" is a bit harsh.

41
00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:22,126
I'm still interviewing.

42
00:03:22,127 --> 00:03:25,168
- I haven't yet met the one.
- Ah, the one.

43
00:03:25,169 --> 00:03:26,668
You know, just
someone who I could commit

44
00:03:26,669 --> 00:03:29,459
to watching a whole
TV series with, would be nice.

45
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:30,959
Be nice.

46
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,834
Hey, where's your little
sister? I haven't seen her.

47
00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,126
- Jamila?
- Yeah.

48
00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:36,293
She couldn't make it.

49
00:03:36,294 --> 00:03:37,376
Sounds like
it's kicking off in there.

50
00:03:37,377 --> 00:03:38,752
We should...
Let's go back inside.

51
00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:41,751
I'm gonna have
to find a new hiding place.

52
00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:43,043
They're cutting down the tree.

53
00:03:43,044 --> 00:03:44,543
- No?
- Yeah.

54
00:03:44,544 --> 00:03:48,418
That's... That's so sad!
This is our tree!

55
00:03:48,419 --> 00:03:49,544
I know. Come on.

56
00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:57,251
Look at Farooq. He's so happy.

57
00:03:57,252 --> 00:03:59,377
Oh, God. Mum dancing.

58
00:04:00,795 --> 00:04:02,460
Thank you, Aisha, darling.

59
00:04:02,461 --> 00:04:03,794
That was just heaven.

60
00:04:03,795 --> 00:04:05,377
I'll be back
for a <i>gupshup</i> tomorrow.

61
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,502
Bye.

62
00:04:06,503 --> 00:04:08,044
Oh.

63
00:04:08,045 --> 00:04:10,460
Wasn't it just
so wonderfully exotic?

64
00:04:10,461 --> 00:04:14,377
I felt... I felt like some
sort of glorious concubine.

65
00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:16,293
Exotic meaning
good foreign rather than

66
00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:17,835
- threatening foreign.
- Yeah, exactly.

67
00:04:17,836 --> 00:04:20,168
Cath, I forgot to give you
some biryani.

68
00:04:20,169 --> 00:04:22,420
Oh, darling, thank you so much.

69
00:04:23,003 --> 00:04:25,419
Oh! I cannot believe
that you did not tell me

70
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,294
that Kaz has asked you
to find him a wife.

71
00:04:28,295 --> 00:04:29,669
Oh, my God. You are so lucky.

72
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,210
Zoe would kill me if I even
tried to choose her clothes,

73
00:04:33,211 --> 00:04:34,544
let alone a husband.

74
00:04:34,545 --> 00:04:36,544
That's because you'd choose
someone ill-fitting

75
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:39,044
- and insist I grow into him.
- That's mean.

76
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,710
- That's what you would do.
- Stop it, both...

77
00:04:40,711 --> 00:04:42,169
Bye-bye.

78
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,460
- Goodnight.
- Thank you, sweetheart.

79
00:04:44,461 --> 00:04:46,461
Night, Mum.
Bye, darling. Buckle up.

80
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:53,627
So, Zoe, we loved your doc.

81
00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:55,127
Oh, loved it.

82
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,752
- Kids in care?
- Yes, that one.

83
00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:59,335
That's great.
Because I was hoping...

84
00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:00,878
Unfortunately,

85
00:05:01,711 --> 00:05:04,544
your ideas for your next one...

86
00:05:04,545 --> 00:05:08,044
The bankruptcy courts,
honour killings...

87
00:05:08,045 --> 00:05:09,960
They're a bit bleak.

88
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,794
- Downbeat.
- Yeah. And, you know...

89
00:05:11,795 --> 00:05:13,669
Your scratchier, darker stuff...

90
00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:14,420
- Which we love.
- We love it

91
00:05:14,421 --> 00:05:16,670
right down to the bones.

92
00:05:16,671 --> 00:05:18,003
- Yeah.
- But...

93
00:05:18,004 --> 00:05:19,461
It's not really rating
for us right now.

94
00:05:19,462 --> 00:05:21,253
I think, look, what we're after

95
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,211
is sort of more upbeat...

96
00:05:23,212 --> 00:05:24,628
Yeah.
Characterled stories.

97
00:05:24,629 --> 00:05:26,170
- Warm heart...
- Yeah.

98
00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:27,253
Um, feel-good, really.

99
00:05:27,254 --> 00:05:28,503
And we were
kind of brainstorming,

100
00:05:28,504 --> 00:05:30,461
and we think
that there probably isn't

101
00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:34,253
a feel-good version
of honour killings.

102
00:05:34,254 --> 00:05:36,295
- Probably not.
- But, er...

103
00:05:36,296 --> 00:05:39,503
Thank you very much
for coming in.

104
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:40,711
We've connected now.

105
00:05:40,712 --> 00:05:42,170
Look, we've got
your details now.

106
00:05:42,171 --> 00:05:43,378
So, silver lining.
Always look at the upside.

107
00:05:43,379 --> 00:05:45,920
Actually, hang on.

108
00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:49,629
Arranged marriages in modern
multi-cultural Britain.

109
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:53,253
- Sorry, I wasn't listening...
- I'm sorry...

110
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:55,753
I was just explaining
that my childhood friend

111
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,586
whose parents
are from Pakistan...

112
00:05:57,587 --> 00:05:58,836
He was born in Pakistan? Cool.

113
00:05:58,837 --> 00:06:00,086
No, he was born here.

114
00:06:00,087 --> 00:06:02,003
But he lived literally
next door to me,

115
00:06:02,004 --> 00:06:03,211
and we grew up together.

116
00:06:03,212 --> 00:06:06,045
And he's just decided
to have an arranged marriage.

117
00:06:06,046 --> 00:06:08,128
I could follow him
on his journey

118
00:06:08,129 --> 00:06:09,920
to marry a stranger

119
00:06:09,921 --> 00:06:12,046
chosen by his parents.

120
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,670
What's he... What's he like?

121
00:06:16,671 --> 00:06:18,753
Well, he's great,
he's funny, good-looking.

122
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,628
- Funny's good.
- Really funny!

123
00:06:20,629 --> 00:06:22,504
Kind. Er, you know...

124
00:06:23,087 --> 00:06:24,795
Literally, the last person
you'd ever expect

125
00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:26,503
to do something like this.

126
00:06:26,504 --> 00:06:28,461
I could interview
other British couples

127
00:06:28,462 --> 00:06:30,171
who've also had
arranged marriages.

128
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,587
Um, older, younger,
happy, unhappy.

129
00:06:32,588 --> 00:06:33,962
Yeah, like in
<i>When Harry Met Sally.</i>

130
00:06:33,963 --> 00:06:35,712
Ooh, erm, don't you mean

131
00:06:35,713 --> 00:06:37,712
When Harry Was Forced
To Meet Sally?

132
00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:39,337
Right. Nice.

133
00:06:39,338 --> 00:06:42,837
Well, this isn't
a forced marriage, actually.

134
00:06:42,838 --> 00:06:44,129
This is his idea.

135
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,504
My Big Fat Arranged Wedding.

136
00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:49,212
Instead of Greek, yeah.
Oh, love it.

137
00:06:49,213 --> 00:06:52,546
Everyone thinks
that arranged marriages

138
00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:54,671
are some sort of
mediaeval chattel swap,

139
00:06:54,672 --> 00:06:56,421
but actually they've evolved

140
00:06:56,422 --> 00:06:59,087
into what's called
assisted marriage

141
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:01,129
with the parents
just suggesting someone

142
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,796
who they think would be
a good match.

143
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,296
Yeah, love that.
Absolutely love that.

144
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:06,171
Now, I'm just thinking.

145
00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:08,129
Meet The Parents First.

146
00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,629
Meet The Parents First.

147
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,879
- Right. Erm, Or, erm...
- It's called <i>Meet The Parents.</i>

148
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,922
I Hope She's A Pretty Woman.

149
00:07:15,755 --> 00:07:17,630
Love Contractually.

150
00:07:22,797 --> 00:07:24,504
- I <i>Love Actually</i> it.
- Yeah.

151
00:07:24,505 --> 00:07:26,630
I mean, think about it.
You got... You got eth, tick.

152
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:29,422
Female director. Double tick.

153
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:31,255
Huh!

154
00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:33,880
Wow.

155
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:37,213
Are him and his family on board?

156
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,254
Totally.

157
00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:43,462
Absolutely not. No.

158
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,755
<i>Come on, Kaz. I'm down
on my knees. I'm begging you.</i>

159
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,172
Out of the question, Zoe.

160
00:07:47,173 --> 00:07:49,130
<i>Kaz, will you please just
do this for me?</i>

161
00:07:49,131 --> 00:07:50,213
Zoe...

162
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:52,505
- <i>Please!</i>
- I can't talk right now.

163
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,713
<i>I don't know if you've heard,</i>

164
00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:56,047
but I'm an award-winning
documentary film-maker.

165
00:07:56,048 --> 00:07:58,005
Yeah. I did hear that, yeah.

166
00:07:58,006 --> 00:07:59,463
<i>Also, aren't you...
I mean, listen...</i>

167
00:07:59,464 --> 00:08:01,130
<i>Aren't you proud to be a Muslim?</i>

168
00:08:01,131 --> 00:08:03,256
Of course I'm a proud Muslim.

169
00:08:04,506 --> 00:08:06,630
<i>Yeah, then wouldn't it be
a good thing to see</i>

170
00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:08,297
someone like you on TV for once?

171
00:08:08,298 --> 00:08:10,755
Don't extremist madmen
make more entertaining TV?

172
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,047
No, it's important.
Come on, Kaz, please.

173
00:08:13,048 --> 00:08:14,213
<i>We'll get to hang out,</i>

174
00:08:14,214 --> 00:08:15,380
<i>we'll get to spend
some time together.</i>

175
00:08:15,381 --> 00:08:17,463
It'll be fun. Like old times.

176
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,797
Old times? I just remember you

177
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,713
and my sister constantly
trying to shake me off.

178
00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:22,756
<i>Does that sound a bit weird?</i>

179
00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:25,297
Come on, please.

180
00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:27,172
Oh, God, Zoe, stop.

181
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,338
<i>You owe me.</i>

182
00:08:28,339 --> 00:08:29,713
<i>I never told Aunty Aisha</i>

183
00:08:29,714 --> 00:08:31,154
<i>what you got up to
in that treehouse.</i>

184
00:08:31,798 --> 00:08:33,255
<i>All right.
Well, what about this?</i>

185
00:08:33,256 --> 00:08:35,462
<i>We'll meet up,
play a little table tennis.</i>

186
00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:37,587
<i>And if you beat me,
I'll think about it.</i>

187
00:08:37,588 --> 00:08:39,547
Yeah. Sounds good.
No pressure.

188
00:08:39,548 --> 00:08:41,173
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.

189
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,297
I'm getting...
It's been a while

190
00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:44,839
since I've played this.

191
00:08:45,548 --> 00:08:49,131
Er, dare I ask?
What about love?

192
00:08:49,798 --> 00:08:52,130
It's just a different way
of getting there.

193
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,505
You don't have
to start with love.

194
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:54,797
You end with love. You know?

195
00:08:54,798 --> 00:08:55,880
And over time,

196
00:08:55,881 --> 00:08:58,255
you grow to love the person
you're with.

197
00:08:58,256 --> 00:09:00,590
Hmm. What?
Like Stockholm Syndrome?

198
00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:04,048
You know, my parents aren't
making me do this.

199
00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:06,340
No, I know.
That's why I'm so surprised.

200
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,839
Do you know what the UK
divorce rate is? I found out.

201
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,924
No. Er, 50%?

202
00:09:12,632 --> 00:09:14,423
55%.

203
00:09:14,424 --> 00:09:17,007
And guess what it is for
Arranged marriages? 6%. Boom.

204
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:20,423
Thing is, Zoe,
I've seen it work.

205
00:09:20,424 --> 00:09:22,464
I want my kids to have
what I had. Stability.

206
00:09:22,465 --> 00:09:24,298
Marriage isn't just about
two people being in love.

207
00:09:24,299 --> 00:09:26,506
It's a bigger thing than that.

208
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:28,423
It's about what's best
for children,

209
00:09:28,424 --> 00:09:30,298
and the whole family. Society.

210
00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:31,923
Just say all that weird,
old-fashioned,

211
00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:33,589
conventional shit on camera.

212
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:35,465
Fuck, that is so annoying.

213
00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:38,340
If I win this rally, right,

214
00:09:38,924 --> 00:09:40,589
you're doing the film.

215
00:09:40,590 --> 00:09:42,131
Yes!

216
00:09:42,132 --> 00:09:43,881
God.

217
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,339
You know where we're going.
I just told you.

218
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:46,464
I know. But just say it
for the camera.

219
00:09:46,465 --> 00:09:47,631
And look in my eyes.

220
00:09:47,632 --> 00:09:49,756
- What, down to you?
- Yeah, tell me.

221
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,589
Can you give me two seconds?
It's literally just here.

222
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:54,423
And how is this

223
00:09:54,424 --> 00:09:57,715
any different from, say,
dating apps?

224
00:09:58,257 --> 00:10:01,506
Well, I guess you could say
it's kind of like a bespoke,

225
00:10:01,507 --> 00:10:05,090
3D halal Tinder,
operated by your parents.

226
00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:07,631
<i>I'm Aisha Khan.</i>

227
00:10:07,632 --> 00:10:10,506
I'm the cultural consultant on
this very positive documentary

228
00:10:10,507 --> 00:10:12,048
on arranged marriage.
Great.

229
00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:13,173
If you could just, um,

230
00:10:13,174 --> 00:10:14,591
ignore the camera.
Hi, guys.

231
00:10:15,341 --> 00:10:18,674
<i>Salam aleikum.</i> Mo here.
Mo the matchmaker.

232
00:10:18,675 --> 00:10:21,007
And if you're looking for
a suitable match for your son,

233
00:10:21,008 --> 00:10:22,674
then you've come
to the right place.

234
00:10:22,675 --> 00:10:24,340
We do daughters as well.

235
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:25,549
Again, just...
You can just pretend

236
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:27,340
I'm not here.
Sorry, I'm invisible.

237
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:30,174
Natural. Bring it down
a little bit. Sure, okay.

238
00:10:30,175 --> 00:10:31,300
Okay.

239
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:36,215
So, platinum services,
they also include me

240
00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:38,090
checking out the girl's family.

241
00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:39,549
Seeing that she's
from a good family home,

242
00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:40,175
nice, tidy, clean.

243
00:10:40,176 --> 00:10:42,132
Okay. So, guys, tell me,

244
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,924
what kind of lovely lady
are we looking for today?

245
00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:47,674
Someone intelligent
and attractive

246
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:49,549
and who I click with, I suppose.

247
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,715
People keep talking
about this click. You know?

248
00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:53,340
He needs a companion,
not a click.

249
00:10:53,341 --> 00:10:55,632
You know, just someone
who can tolerate my parents.

250
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,674
You know, a girl
from the same background.

251
00:10:57,675 --> 00:11:00,007
Soft-spoken, long hair.

252
00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:01,340
Er, not too dark.

253
00:11:01,341 --> 00:11:03,382
Wheatish complexion,
at the most.

254
00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:04,715
Wheat, beige?

255
00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:06,341
Did you bring your
Pantone colour chart?

256
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,632
Be serious about this, okay?

257
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:11,257
Brother, have a look at these
and tell me what you think.

258
00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:13,507
- No photos?
- No photos yet.

259
00:11:13,508 --> 00:11:15,340
Think about it,
if she's too fit,

260
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,215
then you won't know
if she's a good fit.

261
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:18,632
You're gonna see the picture.

262
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,632
Yeah. You're thinking
with your little...

263
00:11:20,633 --> 00:11:23,300
You need to be thinking
with your... Okay?

264
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,590
So, religious observance.

265
00:11:25,591 --> 00:11:27,799
Do you want practising,
moderately practising?

266
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,175
- Practising.
- Not too conservative.

267
00:11:30,176 --> 00:11:31,633
And beard or no beard?

268
00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:32,884
What?

269
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:36,759
Uh, wrong list.
Sorry, give that back.

270
00:11:37,176 --> 00:11:38,300
Sorry.

271
00:11:38,301 --> 00:11:41,466
Um, okay, and modesty,
are we talking hijab?

272
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,758
Are we talking niqab?
Are we talking jilbab?

273
00:11:43,759 --> 00:11:44,883
Niqab is not necessary.

274
00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,966
We are a modern family
after all.

275
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,383
Okay. Now, do we want
a housewife kind of lady,

276
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:50,716
or do we want career lady?

277
00:11:50,717 --> 00:11:52,883
Seriously, as long as
we're on the same wavelength,

278
00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:54,425
and we have things in common...

279
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:55,591
But not too ambitious,

280
00:11:55,592 --> 00:11:57,967
or too much into this, er,
women's lib.

281
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,217
And, er, community?

282
00:12:01,676 --> 00:12:03,800
- Pakistani.
- We're open to any background.

283
00:12:03,801 --> 00:12:05,050
But they just said Pakistan.

284
00:12:05,051 --> 00:12:07,175
As long as she's Muslim.
But not Indian.

285
00:12:07,176 --> 00:12:10,550
Punjabi, Sindhi, Balochi.
All these are okay.

286
00:12:10,551 --> 00:12:11,966
Sure, cool.
Actually, it would

287
00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:14,800
be best if she is a, you know,
Jalandhar KPK Pathan mix.

288
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,508
This is getting kind of niche.

289
00:12:16,509 --> 00:12:18,341
Okay, and what's, er...
What's your education, bro?

290
00:12:18,342 --> 00:12:20,217
Bachelors in Biology.
Then medical school.

291
00:12:21,676 --> 00:12:22,467
- He's a doctor.
- Oof.

292
00:12:22,468 --> 00:12:23,758
Listen, top of the food chain.

293
00:12:23,759 --> 00:12:25,175
See?
Easy.

294
00:12:25,176 --> 00:12:26,841
And any vices
I should know about?

295
00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:28,258
Any drinking, smoking?

296
00:12:28,259 --> 00:12:30,300
Dogging? S and M?
Anything like that?

297
00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:31,716
- None.
- No.

298
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:32,509
Okay, Uncle, Aunty,

299
00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:34,258
I will find your son
a brilliant match.

300
00:12:34,259 --> 00:12:36,050
You don't worry about that.
Thank you very much.

301
00:12:36,051 --> 00:12:37,633
Thank you very much.

302
00:12:37,634 --> 00:12:38,592
No dogs, no pets.

303
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:41,216
No, no. Dogging means
something... Don't worry.

304
00:12:41,217 --> 00:12:42,633
Cats are okay.
Cats?

305
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,718
I'll write that down. "Cats".

306
00:12:46,093 --> 00:12:48,093
We met on our wedding day.

307
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,301
My parents, you know,
they showed me her photograph

308
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:53,677
and I said, "Okay, it's fine."

309
00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:56,342
My mother asked me, but I said,

310
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:59,760
"No, you choose.
So, later I can blame you."

311
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,884
Her father was Deputy
Commissioner of the district,

312
00:13:03,885 --> 00:13:06,801
and my father was a doctor
in the same village.

313
00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:07,926
They were friends,

314
00:13:07,927 --> 00:13:09,552
so, they arranged the marriage.

315
00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:11,884
I remember, on the wedding,

316
00:13:11,885 --> 00:13:14,843
we were sitting on the stage
and the lights went out.

317
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:18,009
In Pakistan, there is
an electricity problem.

318
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:19,509
And she got scared,

319
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:20,884
so I leaned over to her
and said,

320
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:22,802
"Don't worry, it's nothing."

321
00:13:24,927 --> 00:13:26,510
Then I felt okay.

322
00:13:27,052 --> 00:13:29,385
After that,
it was simple sailing.

323
00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:33,592
You know,
when the lights came on,

324
00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,635
I felt he was looking at me.

325
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:41,134
She looked tip-top.

326
00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:42,759
I thought to myself,

327
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,885
"They made
a first-class choice."

328
00:13:47,718 --> 00:13:50,010
<i>♪ Gone cold ♪</i>

329
00:13:51,302 --> 00:13:53,468
<i>♪ It's horrible weather ♪</i>

330
00:13:56,427 --> 00:13:57,842
<i>♪ It's gone stone cold ♪</i>

331
00:13:57,843 --> 00:14:01,761
<i>♪ And you know
we should've got it together ♪</i>

332
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,844
<i>♪ Well, it's nice ♪</i>

333
00:14:08,469 --> 00:14:10,593
<i>♪ It's nice to be wanted ♪</i>

334
00:14:10,594 --> 00:14:13,010
What was wrong with him?
He looked nice.

335
00:14:13,011 --> 00:14:14,843
No!
Him, him. Stop.

336
00:14:14,844 --> 00:14:16,802
He's hot enough
that I'll overlook

337
00:14:16,803 --> 00:14:18,302
that inspirational quote.

338
00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:20,968
"My mantra is..."

339
00:14:20,969 --> 00:14:22,510
No.

340
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,843
"You have
to endure the rain

341
00:14:24,844 --> 00:14:27,635
"if you want
to see the rainbow."

342
00:14:27,636 --> 00:14:28,927
What does that mean?

343
00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:30,802
It means I'll have to toss
a Viagra in his mouth

344
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:31,927
when he's talking.

345
00:14:31,928 --> 00:14:33,427
Daddy's home.

346
00:14:33,428 --> 00:14:35,927
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy!

347
00:14:35,928 --> 00:14:37,385
What are you doing?

348
00:14:37,386 --> 00:14:39,718
I thought the one upside
to getting married

349
00:14:39,719 --> 00:14:41,260
is that you get
to let yourself go?

350
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:42,677
Yeah, what's a Viagra?

351
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,260
Aunty Zoe here, by any chance?

352
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:45,968
I'll go read to the kids

353
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,052
so you can enjoy
some alone time.

354
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,135
Oh, shut up.
Nothing inappropriate, please!

355
00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:51,844
Mmm-mmm. Never.

356
00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:54,094
Come on. Come here.

357
00:14:54,553 --> 00:14:56,469
Once upon a time...

358
00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:59,635
He can come and listen to me
on my shoulder.

359
00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:01,302
- Ready?
- Yes.

360
00:15:01,303 --> 00:15:03,218
Oh, come here, Maud.

361
00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:04,427
Once upon a time,

362
00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:07,218
there was a girl
and she met a frog.

363
00:15:07,219 --> 00:15:09,385
And he promised her

364
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,718
"If you kiss me,

365
00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:14,387
"I'll turn into
a handsome prince."

366
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,594
And
she said, "I'm not interested

367
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:19,886
"in fixing anyone but myself.

368
00:15:19,887 --> 00:15:21,719
"And anyway,

369
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,594
"I'd far rather have a cool,

370
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:27,719
"talking frog
than a boring old prince."

371
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,053
That's not a good story.

372
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,386
Do Cinderella.

373
00:15:31,387 --> 00:15:34,219
All right, I'll do Cinderella,
if you're in bed in

374
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:37,011
five, four, three, two...

375
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:38,344
<i>Once upon a time,</i>

376
00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:40,762
<i>Cinderella met
a handsome prince.</i>

377
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,844
<i>And sometimes, kids,
you meet someone,</i>

378
00:15:43,845 --> 00:15:45,428
<i>and you know in a heartbeat</i>

379
00:15:45,429 --> 00:15:48,012
<i>that you want
to spend the rest of your life</i>

380
00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:50,345
<i>without them.</i>

381
00:15:52,595 --> 00:15:54,969
<i>Once upon another time,</i>

382
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:56,219
<i>Cinderella met another prince.</i>

383
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,303
You can probably tell...
<i>Because in fairy tales,</i>

384
00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,469
<i>a heroine is incomplete
without one.</i>

385
00:16:00,470 --> 00:16:01,969
how well I've done
out of everything,

386
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:03,511
And do you know what?

387
00:16:03,512 --> 00:16:04,886
You'd be bloody right, actually.

388
00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:07,762
<i>And another prince.</i>

389
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,012
<i>And he asked her to marry him.</i>

390
00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:15,929
<i>And she said,</i>

391
00:16:17,054 --> 00:16:18,137
<i>"No".</i>

392
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,136
<i>Cinderella focused
on glass ceilings</i>

393
00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:22,469
<i>instead of glass slippers,</i>

394
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:23,969
<i>which means she focused on work</i>

395
00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:27,970
<i>and realised she was fine
without a boring old prince.</i>

396
00:16:27,971 --> 00:16:29,430
<i>The End.</i>

397
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,762
Check, one, two...

398
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,512
<i>Asalam aleikum,</i>
brothers and sisters.

399
00:16:39,513 --> 00:16:41,512
Welcome to this very,

400
00:16:41,513 --> 00:16:43,887
very special Muslim
marriage event.

401
00:16:43,888 --> 00:16:46,845
I go by the name
of Mo the Matchmaker.

402
00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:49,179
And I'm here
to find you a match.

403
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:53,179
We are gonna end the spinster
crisis together, guys.

404
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,554
Come on.

405
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,887
There's someone
out there for everyone.

406
00:16:55,888 --> 00:16:57,595
And we all have needs.

407
00:16:57,596 --> 00:17:00,887
Divorcees. Disabled people.

408
00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:02,305
Women over 30.

409
00:17:03,638 --> 00:17:04,845
Okay, brothers,

410
00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:05,970
you may now approach

411
00:17:05,971 --> 00:17:08,012
any sisters
that you like the look of.

412
00:17:08,013 --> 00:17:10,512
Good. Rotate. Very nice.

413
00:17:10,513 --> 00:17:11,762
Oh, look at that chemistry.

414
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,428
We keep it halal, here.
We keep it halal.

415
00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,220
Be honest. You're not
gonna get what you want

416
00:17:15,221 --> 00:17:16,762
if you don't say what you want.

417
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:19,345
Guys, you want a good cook,
say you want your Nigella.

418
00:17:19,346 --> 00:17:20,928
Girls, you want the money man,

419
00:17:20,929 --> 00:17:22,470
say, "I'm looking
for my Elon Musk."

420
00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:24,763
Use your best lines.

421
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:28,178
Now we are gonna
form a circle of ten.

422
00:17:28,179 --> 00:17:30,970
Five guys, five girls.
Chaperones at the back.

423
00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:33,013
Come on, guys, let's do it.

424
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:35,690
Your parents are gonna be
so happy, trust me.

425
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:38,429
Come on.

426
00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,095
And, guys,
I want you to be honest, okay?

427
00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:42,512
Is this your first time?

428
00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:46,013
Mate, here,
it's everyone's first time.

429
00:17:46,014 --> 00:17:47,806
At least that's what
they'll tell you.

430
00:17:48,597 --> 00:17:49,680
Boys, boys, boys.

431
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:51,846
What's going on? Why are you
talking to each other?

432
00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:53,555
There's girls here. Okay?

433
00:17:53,556 --> 00:17:56,013
Unless you want marriage
outside of Islamic sharia,

434
00:17:56,014 --> 00:17:57,930
I suggest you stop talking
to the same sex.

435
00:17:57,931 --> 00:17:59,721
All right, boys? Enjoy.

436
00:17:59,722 --> 00:18:01,805
I'm looking for someone
who has patience

437
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,346
and an understanding of culture.

438
00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:06,555
Someone who's supportive
and honest,

439
00:18:06,556 --> 00:18:07,680
who likes to travel.

440
00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,638
Well, just someone who's great.

441
00:18:09,639 --> 00:18:11,346
And who's British enough for me,

442
00:18:11,347 --> 00:18:13,347
and, er, Pakistani enough
for my family.

443
00:18:14,347 --> 00:18:17,346
Someone down to earth
with a sense of humour,

444
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,347
who will encourage me
in my religion.

445
00:18:21,181 --> 00:18:22,221
Where are you from?

446
00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:24,096
Erm, Birmingham.
How about you?

447
00:18:24,097 --> 00:18:25,889
Well, I'm from...
Well, I'm from London.

448
00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:29,180
- What do you do?
- I'm a banker.

449
00:18:29,181 --> 00:18:31,389
- What do you do?
- I... Well, I'm a doctor.

450
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,764
Oh, Kaz.

451
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:40,971
Isn't this a massive,
crazy gamble?

452
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:42,389
I mean...

453
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,347
What if there's no chemistry?

454
00:18:45,931 --> 00:18:47,471
How are you even gonna know,

455
00:18:47,472 --> 00:18:48,888
if you don't believe in sex
before marriage

456
00:18:48,889 --> 00:18:50,305
all of a sudden?

457
00:18:50,306 --> 00:18:53,430
I'm not sure I believe in sex
after marriage.

458
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,971
Most of my friends have
no sex after marriage.

459
00:18:55,972 --> 00:18:57,305
And that's with the loves
of their lives.

460
00:18:57,306 --> 00:19:00,265
That's a fair point.
It's depressing.

461
00:19:02,098 --> 00:19:04,097
I think you can usually tell

462
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,848
if the sex would work.

463
00:19:11,932 --> 00:19:14,514
Do you wanna go and get a drink?

464
00:19:14,515 --> 00:19:16,390
A Bloody Mary for me,
and a Virgin for you.

465
00:19:19,182 --> 00:19:20,806
I've got lunch with my parents.

466
00:19:20,807 --> 00:19:23,057
- Oh.
- It's Mother's Day.

467
00:19:23,557 --> 00:19:24,765
Oh, shit.

468
00:19:28,932 --> 00:19:31,223
See you tomorrow.
Yeah.

469
00:19:32,473 --> 00:19:33,598
- Bye.
- Bye.

470
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,764
Hi, Zoe.

471
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:47,097
Ah! <i>Allah kum salam,</i>
Aunty Aisha.

472
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,347
What?

473
00:19:49,348 --> 00:19:50,681
You still can't say it.
It's...

474
00:19:50,682 --> 00:19:52,306
<i>Asalam aleikum,</i> Aisha.

475
00:19:52,307 --> 00:19:53,389
There you go.

476
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:54,931
That's exactly what I just said.

477
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,847
Happy Mother's Day.

478
00:19:56,848 --> 00:19:58,806
Wish I could say
the same to you.

479
00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:01,639
I was just saying I wish
I could say the same to her.

480
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,222
<i>Inshallah.</i>
Fat chance of that.

481
00:20:04,223 --> 00:20:06,472
I cannot, for the life of me,

482
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,056
find my other washing-up glove.

483
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:10,181
And these are new.
I've looked everywhere.

484
00:20:10,182 --> 00:20:11,972
Gosh, hasn't Kazim
got so good...

485
00:20:11,973 --> 00:20:13,307
Where are you? Oh.

486
00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:15,140
So good-looking?

487
00:20:15,141 --> 00:20:16,473
It's hardly surprising, is it?

488
00:20:16,474 --> 00:20:17,973
Look at his mother.
I mean, she...

489
00:20:17,974 --> 00:20:19,932
She's so elegant,
she could be Greek

490
00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:21,599
or Italian.

491
00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:24,515
The compliment
that's actually an insult.

492
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,515
You wouldn't think
they were Muslims

493
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,848
to look at them, would you?

494
00:20:27,849 --> 00:20:28,683
I don't know, Mum.

495
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:31,141
What do 1.8 billion Muslims
all look like?

496
00:20:32,974 --> 00:20:34,890
- Careful.
- Just...

497
00:20:34,891 --> 00:20:36,598
We've been very lucky to
have them as neighbours.

498
00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:37,973
Actually, they've become
like family to me

499
00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:40,473
since your father left
for that teenaged whore.

500
00:20:40,474 --> 00:20:42,598
- She's 35.
- Exactly.

501
00:20:42,599 --> 00:20:43,932
Oh, is that Grindr?

502
00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:45,682
My hairdresser's never off that.

503
00:20:45,683 --> 00:20:47,390
- Anyone we should meet?
- No.

504
00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:49,516
Oh, well, don't leave it
too late.

505
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,640
Human eggs have
a sell-by date, too, you know.

506
00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:55,348
Maybe I'll freeze them.

507
00:20:55,349 --> 00:20:57,348
I could be a 90-year-old
pushing a triple pram.

508
00:20:57,349 --> 00:21:01,265
Well, that's no good to me,
is it? Because I'll be dead.

509
00:21:01,266 --> 00:21:02,640
Oh...

510
00:21:02,641 --> 00:21:04,057
How is your egg?

511
00:21:04,058 --> 00:21:06,140
It looks a bit raw.

512
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:07,390
Mmm.

513
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:11,099
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
My Marigold!

514
00:21:11,474 --> 00:21:13,015
That's where it got to.

515
00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:15,307
He eats your washing-up gloves?

516
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,515
He eats everything.

517
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:18,557
At least now you can tell
which way round he is.

518
00:21:18,558 --> 00:21:20,308
Oh!

519
00:21:20,849 --> 00:21:22,807
I'm ringing my lovely vet.

520
00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:24,223
You're going to have to take him

521
00:21:24,224 --> 00:21:26,182
to James the vet
for me tomorrow.

522
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,891
Why can't you take him?

523
00:21:27,892 --> 00:21:29,933
It's my day visiting cancer
patients at the Marsden.

524
00:21:29,934 --> 00:21:31,933
I can't. I've got
a really important meeting.

525
00:21:31,934 --> 00:21:33,933
It's the children's ward.

526
00:21:33,934 --> 00:21:35,724
He'll be fine.

527
00:21:35,725 --> 00:21:37,641
He's eaten my HRT patches
as well.

528
00:21:37,642 --> 00:21:38,683
He'll grow breasts.

529
00:21:38,684 --> 00:21:41,141
You'll grow breasts,
you silly dog.

530
00:21:41,142 --> 00:21:42,474
It's not funny, ZoZo.

531
00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:43,849
It is funny, actually.

532
00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:46,808
James, it's me. I... Erm...

533
00:21:46,809 --> 00:21:48,974
It's the dog. I can't explain,

534
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,559
but something
is hanging out of him

535
00:21:51,142 --> 00:21:52,892
at the wrong end.

536
00:21:55,184 --> 00:21:56,224
How's it going then, boy?

537
00:21:56,225 --> 00:21:57,641
Did you find your missus today?

538
00:21:57,642 --> 00:21:58,600
Don't start with me, man.

539
00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:00,183
I knew you were gonna start
with me today.

540
00:22:00,184 --> 00:22:01,664
Let me just enjoy my...
Anyone good?

541
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,641
There was no one
I clicked with. There was...

542
00:22:05,642 --> 00:22:07,100
Click and collect.

543
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,974
<i>Ammi,</i> come on.
There has to be a spark.

544
00:22:10,975 --> 00:22:13,392
- There wasn't even a flicker.
- You know what I say.

545
00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:17,141
Simmer first, then boil.

546
00:22:17,142 --> 00:22:19,224
You all want to boil first,
then simmer.

547
00:22:19,225 --> 00:22:21,349
And when it cools down,
you get disappointed,

548
00:22:21,350 --> 00:22:22,683
and throw out the chai.

549
00:22:22,684 --> 00:22:23,891
Yeah, well, simmer for too long,

550
00:22:23,892 --> 00:22:25,183
you end up with a dry pot.

551
00:22:25,184 --> 00:22:27,100
No-one likes a dry pot, bro.

552
00:22:28,392 --> 00:22:29,891
He threw
the thing at me, tell him off.

553
00:22:29,892 --> 00:22:32,600
The problem is, people have
too many options.

554
00:22:33,975 --> 00:22:36,392
The distant drum
sounds more exciting.

555
00:22:37,309 --> 00:22:40,099
Did you tell him about the girl

556
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,726
that Mo <i>bhai</i> rang about, huh?

557
00:22:42,601 --> 00:22:45,184
There's a very nice girl
in Lahore.

558
00:22:45,185 --> 00:22:47,517
Convent educated,
excellent family.

559
00:22:47,518 --> 00:22:49,642
Height is okay, five foot two.

560
00:22:49,643 --> 00:22:51,850
If she were five foot,
I would hesitate.

561
00:22:51,851 --> 00:22:52,975
Why wasn't I told?

562
00:22:52,976 --> 00:22:54,767
I'll tell you, I'll tell you.

563
00:22:54,768 --> 00:22:56,684
Supposed to have
a very good nature.

564
00:22:56,685 --> 00:22:58,559
What am I gonna have in common
with someone from Pakistan?

565
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,975
Besides culture, religion,

566
00:22:59,976 --> 00:23:01,642
language, colour, family, genes.

567
00:23:01,643 --> 00:23:02,892
Should I go on?

568
00:23:02,893 --> 00:23:04,809
Yeah, think about it. And your
surname will be the same.

569
00:23:04,810 --> 00:23:06,267
She's a Khan?

570
00:23:06,268 --> 00:23:08,934
Passport, credit cards.
No change.

571
00:23:08,935 --> 00:23:11,142
But she's not a relation?

572
00:23:11,143 --> 00:23:13,517
No. But nothing wrong
with that.

573
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,934
You know, Victoria and Albert
were first cousins.

574
00:23:15,935 --> 00:23:17,350
And they had a museum
named after them!

575
00:23:17,351 --> 00:23:18,600
Okay, yeah, I know.

576
00:23:18,601 --> 00:23:19,684
Listen, we are meeting

577
00:23:19,685 --> 00:23:21,350
the family over Skype
this evening.

578
00:23:21,351 --> 00:23:22,976
You see if you like her.

579
00:23:24,101 --> 00:23:25,143
Please.

580
00:23:27,268 --> 00:23:29,725
Okay. Don't.

581
00:23:29,726 --> 00:23:31,600
Our parents
both knew each other.

582
00:23:31,601 --> 00:23:32,892
They wanted us to meet.

583
00:23:32,893 --> 00:23:34,850
But we were both like, "Nah".

584
00:23:34,851 --> 00:23:36,685
"No way".

585
00:23:37,101 --> 00:23:38,768
- Sorry, sorry.
- Okay.

586
00:23:40,268 --> 00:23:43,017
Then I saw him at Rumi's Cave.

587
00:23:43,018 --> 00:23:44,850
It's like this cultural centre.

588
00:23:44,851 --> 00:23:46,809
And we were both part
of the Muslim archery club.

589
00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:47,934
But we never spoke.

590
00:23:47,935 --> 00:23:50,809
- She was on Minder.
- But he was on Muzmatch.

591
00:23:50,810 --> 00:23:52,850
So we were on different paths.

592
00:23:52,851 --> 00:23:56,227
But we were on the same team
for the Muslim muggles quiz.

593
00:23:56,561 --> 00:23:58,185
It's for Harry Potter fans,

594
00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:00,810
looking at Islamic values
in the series.

595
00:24:00,811 --> 00:24:03,852
- And we identified loads.
- And we won!

596
00:24:04,269 --> 00:24:05,936
Team Hufflepuff!

597
00:24:06,352 --> 00:24:08,519
So, then, after that,
we agreed to meet.

598
00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:11,768
And I remember saying
to myself, you know,

599
00:24:11,769 --> 00:24:13,643
"You wander from room
to room sometimes

600
00:24:13,644 --> 00:24:15,351
"looking for the diamond

601
00:24:15,352 --> 00:24:17,394
"that's already
around your own neck."

602
00:24:17,936 --> 00:24:19,144
Rūmī.

603
00:24:25,644 --> 00:24:26,644
Okay.

604
00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:35,768
Er, hi.

605
00:24:35,769 --> 00:24:36,852
<i>Hi.</i>

606
00:24:40,519 --> 00:24:43,143
Maymouna.
That's a very lovely name.

607
00:24:43,144 --> 00:24:44,269
It's very beautiful.

608
00:24:44,852 --> 00:24:45,936
<i>Thank you.</i>

609
00:24:47,477 --> 00:24:50,144
Are you named
after anyone in your family?

610
00:24:50,602 --> 00:24:51,851
<i>Mmm.</i>

611
00:24:51,852 --> 00:24:53,102
<i>No.</i>

612
00:24:53,894 --> 00:24:56,269
<i>I think my parents
just liked it.</i>

613
00:24:57,394 --> 00:24:58,894
Great. That's...

614
00:24:59,269 --> 00:25:00,936
You're... You're studying law?

615
00:25:01,769 --> 00:25:02,769
<i>Yes.</i>

616
00:25:03,769 --> 00:25:05,518
Well, I thought about doing law.

617
00:25:05,519 --> 00:25:07,644
But then I didn't.

618
00:25:10,436 --> 00:25:12,102
<i>Do you have any siblings?</i>

619
00:25:12,103 --> 00:25:15,561
I have a brother
who lives here with his wife.

620
00:25:15,562 --> 00:25:17,353
And a sister.

621
00:25:18,603 --> 00:25:20,853
I have one brother, and, um,

622
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,187
and...

623
00:25:32,228 --> 00:25:34,937
My sister lives
in the Northern Areas.

624
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,977
Her husband is posted there.

625
00:25:37,978 --> 00:25:39,186
<i>The roof of the world.</i>

626
00:25:39,187 --> 00:25:41,603
<i>That's my favourite place
on earth.</i>

627
00:25:42,187 --> 00:25:44,061
I haven't been there yet, but...

628
00:25:44,062 --> 00:25:45,352
<i>I remember the first time
I went.</i>

629
00:25:45,353 --> 00:25:46,769
Um...

630
00:25:46,770 --> 00:25:47,936
My grandfather took me.

631
00:25:47,937 --> 00:25:50,852
That was his favourite place
as well. And, um...

632
00:25:50,853 --> 00:25:52,186
I was just a little boy,

633
00:25:52,187 --> 00:25:53,894
and I'd wandered off
and got lost,

634
00:25:53,895 --> 00:25:57,270
and it was weird,
I wasn't scared. It was...

635
00:25:58,020 --> 00:26:00,936
It was the first time
I felt connected

636
00:26:00,937 --> 00:26:03,103
to something bigger
than myself, you know?

637
00:26:03,603 --> 00:26:05,437
Bigger than my own fear, and...

638
00:26:05,978 --> 00:26:07,019
My grandfather gave me

639
00:26:07,020 --> 00:26:08,728
a tight slap when he found me,
though.

640
00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:14,144
That's still the place I feel
closest to God. Definitely.

641
00:26:14,145 --> 00:26:16,353
<i>And to my grandfather.</i>

642
00:26:17,353 --> 00:26:20,269
How do you feel about possibly
moving to London?

643
00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:22,811
- Um...
- She's fine with it.

644
00:26:22,812 --> 00:26:24,311
She will love London.

645
00:26:24,312 --> 00:26:25,644
It's a very multi-cultural
place.

646
00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:27,228
Full of Pakistanis.

647
00:26:27,229 --> 00:26:31,812
It's like
living in a giant brothel.

648
00:26:31,813 --> 00:26:32,853
I'm sorry about this.

649
00:26:32,854 --> 00:26:34,103
<i>- This is my big brother.</i>
- It's okay.

650
00:26:34,104 --> 00:26:35,228
- Farooq.
- He gives me pocket money.

651
00:26:35,229 --> 00:26:36,270
It's normal.

652
00:26:36,271 --> 00:26:38,645
They take their dogs to dinner

653
00:26:38,646 --> 00:26:41,437
and leave their children
at home.

654
00:26:41,438 --> 00:26:42,896
Don't mind her.

655
00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:46,021
Very nice.
Yeah.

656
00:26:51,521 --> 00:26:53,187
What's he been eating this time?

657
00:26:53,188 --> 00:26:55,145
- Mum's HRT patches.
- Ah.

658
00:26:55,146 --> 00:26:56,353
And her washing-up glove.

659
00:26:56,354 --> 00:26:59,520
Last time, it was her pop socks.

660
00:26:59,521 --> 00:27:01,812
Oh, God.
He's like a fluffy Pac-Man.

661
00:27:01,813 --> 00:27:02,937
Let's take a look at him,

662
00:27:02,938 --> 00:27:04,020
- shall we?
- Mmm.

663
00:27:04,021 --> 00:27:06,145
If you could just hold him
nice and still.

664
00:27:06,146 --> 00:27:08,103
Okay. Come on, Barney.

665
00:27:08,104 --> 00:27:09,228
- Oh.
- There you go.

666
00:27:09,229 --> 00:27:10,395
- Oh, I'm just gonna...
- Sorry.

667
00:27:10,396 --> 00:27:12,312
- Sorry.
- Sorry.

668
00:27:12,313 --> 00:27:14,145
Sorry. Does he
come here often?

669
00:27:14,146 --> 00:27:17,728
So often, I know all his
deepest, darkest secrets.

670
00:27:17,729 --> 00:27:20,020
And even some of yours.

671
00:27:20,021 --> 00:27:22,520
No, I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.

672
00:27:22,521 --> 00:27:24,645
But your mum has told me...

673
00:27:24,646 --> 00:27:26,645
- all about you, though.
- Oh, God.

674
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,853
Film school in London.

675
00:27:28,854 --> 00:27:32,520
Two documentaries.
And a <i>Radio Times</i>

676
00:27:32,521 --> 00:27:33,603
Viewers' and Listeners' Award.

677
00:27:33,604 --> 00:27:36,520
- She gave you my actual CV.
- And your complete works.

678
00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:38,478
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't worry.

679
00:27:38,479 --> 00:27:39,770
I haven't had a chance
to watch them yet,

680
00:27:39,771 --> 00:27:41,021
but they do look really,
really great.

681
00:27:41,022 --> 00:27:43,688
Now, this guy
is gonna be just fine.

682
00:27:43,689 --> 00:27:44,854
If he hasn't passed them
by Friday,

683
00:27:44,855 --> 00:27:47,064
bring him back in,
we'll get him X-rayed.

684
00:27:47,314 --> 00:27:48,771
Okay.

685
00:27:48,772 --> 00:27:51,479
Thanks.
Come on, you silly dog.

686
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:52,604
Good to see you again, Barney.

687
00:27:52,605 --> 00:27:53,896
And, um, it's lovely to

688
00:27:53,897 --> 00:27:56,146
meet you, too,
for the first time, Zoe.

689
00:27:56,147 --> 00:27:57,771
And you.

690
00:27:57,772 --> 00:27:59,104
If you ever felt like going out

691
00:27:59,105 --> 00:28:01,688
to get a drink or something, sometime,

692
00:28:01,689 --> 00:28:03,396
- we could...
- Thank you.

693
00:28:03,397 --> 00:28:04,896
I'm a bit snowed under with work

694
00:28:04,897 --> 00:28:06,188
- at the moment.
- Yeah, sure.

695
00:28:06,189 --> 00:28:08,479
Just 'cause your mum said
that you... But never mind.

696
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,689
Um...

697
00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,188
- Let me get the door for you.
- Yeah.

698
00:28:12,189 --> 00:28:14,313
Thank you. Sorry about that.

699
00:28:14,314 --> 00:28:16,064
- Ta-da!
- Er, mmm...

700
00:28:16,939 --> 00:28:18,771
- Uh, look after that guy.
- I will, thanks.

701
00:28:18,772 --> 00:28:19,896
- Thanks so much.
- And let me know

702
00:28:19,897 --> 00:28:21,230
if your workload...

703
00:28:21,897 --> 00:28:22,980
eases.

704
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,021
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

705
00:28:25,022 --> 00:28:27,646
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Mum ♪</i>

706
00:28:27,647 --> 00:28:29,146
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

707
00:28:29,147 --> 00:28:30,229
<i>Thank you!</i>

708
00:28:30,230 --> 00:28:31,521
I can't actually talk right now

709
00:28:31,522 --> 00:28:33,604
because I'm about to, um...
I'm about to go and

710
00:28:33,605 --> 00:28:36,729
put some grand eggs on ice
for your birthday present.

711
00:28:36,730 --> 00:28:37,854
<i>Ooh!</i>

712
00:28:37,855 --> 00:28:38,938
Yeah. So, you can stop

713
00:28:38,939 --> 00:28:40,604
setting me up
with total strangers.

714
00:28:40,605 --> 00:28:43,188
<i>What a wonderful
birthday present.</i>

715
00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:44,647
Would you like them
gift wrapped?

716
00:28:45,897 --> 00:28:48,729
Is there an express service?

717
00:28:48,730 --> 00:28:50,396
Oh, yeah, absolutely.

718
00:28:50,397 --> 00:28:51,646
Just come in here
on your lunch break.

719
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,354
And then in your 60s,

720
00:28:53,355 --> 00:28:55,273
we defrost your baby.

721
00:28:57,398 --> 00:28:58,690
No.

722
00:28:59,398 --> 00:29:00,480
No.

723
00:29:00,481 --> 00:29:02,273
Egg harvest.

724
00:29:02,606 --> 00:29:04,731
Yeah. Sounds festive, huh?
It's not.

725
00:29:05,856 --> 00:29:08,564
Listen, how much
do you want to be a mother?

726
00:29:08,565 --> 00:29:10,522
Mmm. Well,
I'd rather be a father.

727
00:29:10,523 --> 00:29:11,939
Then you don't have

728
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:13,140
- to juggle everything.
- Yeah.

729
00:29:14,731 --> 00:29:16,398
No, I, um...

730
00:29:17,856 --> 00:29:19,773
Of course,
I want to be a mother.

731
00:29:20,315 --> 00:29:21,897
I just...

732
00:29:21,898 --> 00:29:25,606
You know, I want to find
the right person. And not yet.

733
00:29:26,481 --> 00:29:27,481
That's why I'm here.

734
00:29:28,106 --> 00:29:30,689
I keep seeing all these women
in their 50s having babies.

735
00:29:30,690 --> 00:29:32,480
So, that's gotta be
frozen eggs, right?

736
00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:34,397
Ah. The same women
that have, like,

737
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,605
really nice skin and no eye bags

738
00:29:36,606 --> 00:29:38,398
because they use
the right moisturiser?

739
00:29:38,856 --> 00:29:40,480
Yeah, highly unlikely.

740
00:29:40,481 --> 00:29:42,480
Do you know the success rate
for frozen eggs?

741
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:43,564
Well, I know

742
00:29:43,565 --> 00:29:44,939
it's not a guarantee.

743
00:29:44,940 --> 00:29:46,564
No.

744
00:29:46,565 --> 00:29:47,606
It's...

745
00:29:48,356 --> 00:29:49,397
1%.

746
00:29:49,398 --> 00:29:53,272
1% of frozen eggs
result in a live birth.

747
00:29:53,273 --> 00:29:55,147
Really?

748
00:29:55,148 --> 00:29:57,398
But much better odds
for frozen embryos.

749
00:29:58,731 --> 00:29:59,980
Okay.

750
00:29:59,981 --> 00:30:02,980
Um, how do I freeze
an embryo, then?

751
00:30:02,981 --> 00:30:04,689
Just come in with a partner.

752
00:30:04,690 --> 00:30:06,647
Or, you know,
pick a sperm donor.

753
00:30:06,648 --> 00:30:09,772
Or just find a nice
gay friend. That's...

754
00:30:09,773 --> 00:30:11,356
I don't have a partner.

755
00:30:11,357 --> 00:30:13,106
I thought that was the whole
point of this egg freezing,

756
00:30:13,107 --> 00:30:15,941
is that I don't have to put
all my eggs in one bastard.

757
00:30:21,399 --> 00:30:24,274
He texted me instead of her
by mistake.

758
00:30:27,149 --> 00:30:29,648
- Who is she?
- Someone in his office.

759
00:30:29,649 --> 00:30:31,524
I should have known.

760
00:30:32,024 --> 00:30:33,231
He kept not remembering

761
00:30:33,232 --> 00:30:34,316
her name.

762
00:30:39,774 --> 00:30:41,107
Hang on.

763
00:30:42,524 --> 00:30:45,231
Where are you going?
That's not him, is it?

764
00:30:45,232 --> 00:30:47,024
Can you deal with the kids?

765
00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:51,732
Oh, my God.

766
00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:01,065
Once upon a time,

767
00:31:01,066 --> 00:31:03,816
there was a girl called
Little Red Riding Hood.

768
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,649
<i>She'd had a bad week.</i>

769
00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:09,857
<i>And all she wanted
was to feel better.</i>

770
00:31:11,607 --> 00:31:14,149
<i>Or to feel nothing.</i>

771
00:31:22,732 --> 00:31:25,941
<i>So, when her mother warned her
not to stray off that path,</i>

772
00:31:25,942 --> 00:31:27,982
<i>and talk to any strangers</i>

773
00:31:27,983 --> 00:31:30,400
<i>Little Red Riding Hood
thought to herself,</i>

774
00:31:31,108 --> 00:31:33,775
<i>"Where's the fun
on a well-trodden path?"</i>

775
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:37,192
<i>And of course, she met a wolf.</i>

776
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,816
<i>In an instant,</i>

777
00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:45,108
<i>all those bad feelings
disappeared, like magic.</i>

778
00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:48,732
<i>"What's the worst
that could happen?"</i>

779
00:31:48,733 --> 00:31:50,233
<i>she thought to herself.</i>

780
00:31:54,358 --> 00:31:57,192
<i>"So, a bad boy wolf
wants to eat me?</i>

781
00:31:59,442 --> 00:32:02,233
<i>"A little nibble here
and there can't hurt.</i>

782
00:32:04,025 --> 00:32:05,358
<i>"Can it?"</i>

783
00:32:30,858 --> 00:32:32,732
I was in the shower.

784
00:32:32,733 --> 00:32:33,775
Yeah.

785
00:32:34,733 --> 00:32:35,733
Yeah.

786
00:32:39,275 --> 00:32:40,859
Mmm-hmm.

787
00:32:41,484 --> 00:32:43,401
Sorry. Yeah, I, um...

788
00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:46,026
I fell asleep with my phone
on silent.

789
00:33:19,318 --> 00:33:21,526
Ooh!

790
00:33:22,318 --> 00:33:24,859
Man down.
Ah, come on. Bloody sub.

791
00:33:27,401 --> 00:33:28,526
You're on.

792
00:33:31,901 --> 00:33:32,983
Did you get the goal, at least?

793
00:33:32,984 --> 00:33:35,150
No, I just got you going
down like a skittle.

794
00:33:35,151 --> 00:33:36,234
Great.

795
00:33:36,693 --> 00:33:39,193
That looked painful. Oh.

796
00:33:40,068 --> 00:33:41,358
Hang on,
let me just get this mic on.

797
00:33:41,359 --> 00:33:43,776
I've definitely
pulled something.

798
00:33:46,151 --> 00:33:47,151
So...

799
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:50,025
What was...

800
00:33:50,026 --> 00:33:51,483
- What was so urgent?
- I, er...

801
00:33:51,484 --> 00:33:53,651
- I've got news.
- Yeah?

802
00:33:54,277 --> 00:33:55,819
I'm, er...

803
00:33:56,235 --> 00:33:58,110
I, er... I got engaged.

804
00:34:00,027 --> 00:34:01,109
Wait, what?

805
00:34:01,110 --> 00:34:03,652
Yeah, I know. It's crazy,
right? But we've...

806
00:34:04,819 --> 00:34:06,485
been talking quite a lot.

807
00:34:07,652 --> 00:34:09,901
And been texting and FaceTime.

808
00:34:09,902 --> 00:34:11,819
And we keep talking.

809
00:34:15,152 --> 00:34:17,026
I really like her.

810
00:34:17,027 --> 00:34:20,026
And the wedding's not for
a whole 'nother month, so...

811
00:34:20,027 --> 00:34:22,068
- A month?
- Yeah, I know.

812
00:34:22,069 --> 00:34:24,401
My mum's already handed out
sweets to the whole street.

813
00:34:24,402 --> 00:34:26,109
It's love at first Skype.

814
00:34:26,110 --> 00:34:27,318
Well, obviously not, no.

815
00:34:27,319 --> 00:34:29,734
Love at first anything's
a mental health issue.

816
00:34:29,735 --> 00:34:31,484
So, um, how old is she again?

817
00:34:31,485 --> 00:34:33,694
Willmore, track! Willmore!

818
00:34:35,652 --> 00:34:38,401
22.
Leaving the party early.

819
00:34:38,402 --> 00:34:39,776
Not worried about the age gap?

820
00:34:39,777 --> 00:34:41,609
I knew you were gonna ask that.

821
00:34:41,610 --> 00:34:43,151
No, she's super smart.

822
00:34:43,152 --> 00:34:46,818
And you reckon that you have
enough in common?

823
00:34:46,819 --> 00:34:48,193
Well, we will have.

824
00:34:48,194 --> 00:34:49,318
She gets it.

825
00:34:49,319 --> 00:34:50,609
She understands
how it all works.

826
00:34:50,610 --> 00:34:51,693
You know, she wants to be

827
00:34:51,694 --> 00:34:52,894
- a human rights lawyer.
- Wow.

828
00:34:54,277 --> 00:34:55,359
Sorry.

829
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,276
I'm just taking it all in. Um...

830
00:34:57,277 --> 00:34:59,902
So you really will be
marrying a stranger.

831
00:35:01,194 --> 00:35:03,069
I guess, in the end,
so is everyone else.

832
00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:05,443
Everyone turns out to be
someone else,

833
00:35:05,444 --> 00:35:06,901
or fucking someone else.

834
00:35:06,902 --> 00:35:08,484
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

835
00:35:08,485 --> 00:35:10,027
Can you turn the thing on the...

836
00:35:10,028 --> 00:35:11,110
No, no, no. Sorry. Sorry.

837
00:35:11,111 --> 00:35:12,153
Zoe, off!

838
00:35:14,528 --> 00:35:15,778
What's up?

839
00:35:22,153 --> 00:35:23,653
Uh, sorry.

840
00:35:25,778 --> 00:35:28,194
Oh, it's just been
a challenging week.

841
00:35:28,195 --> 00:35:30,115
What? Another date with
someone you already hate?

842
00:35:36,111 --> 00:35:38,444
What you need is a holiday.

843
00:35:38,445 --> 00:35:39,778
Yeah.

844
00:35:41,236 --> 00:35:42,653
In Lahore.

845
00:35:45,736 --> 00:35:47,070
Mmm.

846
00:35:48,903 --> 00:35:50,152
Oh, darling.

847
00:35:50,153 --> 00:35:52,652
Just in time for a quick bite
before we leave.

848
00:35:52,653 --> 00:35:54,944
Great. Oh, sorry. Eggs again?

849
00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:56,986
No, no, no. Omelettes.

850
00:35:57,736 --> 00:35:58,736
Come on.

851
00:35:58,737 --> 00:36:02,152
Ooh, now in there
is a little care package

852
00:36:02,153 --> 00:36:03,277
I've put together for us.

853
00:36:03,278 --> 00:36:06,028
Just the basics.
Imodium, HobNobs, rape alarm.

854
00:36:07,111 --> 00:36:08,777
Is Barney joining us?

855
00:36:08,778 --> 00:36:10,860
Don't be silly.
Although, um...

856
00:36:10,861 --> 00:36:12,569
No, James is coming
to pick him up

857
00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:13,819
and I thought that... Ooh!

858
00:36:13,820 --> 00:36:15,944
There he is. I thought
he might like to join us

859
00:36:15,945 --> 00:36:18,735
for a little... Little lunch.

860
00:36:18,736 --> 00:36:19,985
James!
Hi.

861
00:36:19,986 --> 00:36:21,652
My favourite dog whisperer.

862
00:36:21,653 --> 00:36:23,903
Oh, come in.

863
00:36:23,904 --> 00:36:26,028
Zoe. You remember James,
don't you?

864
00:36:26,029 --> 00:36:28,320
James delivered
your pop socks. Hi.

865
00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:30,153
Talking of which...

866
00:36:30,154 --> 00:36:32,861
- So, how have you been?
- Oh, you know, saving lives.

867
00:36:32,862 --> 00:36:34,153
A gerbil, a cat,

868
00:36:34,154 --> 00:36:37,487
octogenarian tortoise
who's making a slow recovery.

869
00:36:39,321 --> 00:36:41,111
- Sorry.
- He's so funny.

870
00:36:41,112 --> 00:36:42,820
He's so... He's so funny.

871
00:36:42,821 --> 00:36:44,070
Why don't you just sit,

872
00:36:44,071 --> 00:36:46,611
and have a chat
while I cook the toast?

873
00:36:46,612 --> 00:36:48,486
So, you're off to
a fancy wedding

874
00:36:48,487 --> 00:36:50,653
- in Pakistan, I hear?
- Yeah.

875
00:36:50,654 --> 00:36:52,111
I've never missed
a Khan wedding,

876
00:36:52,112 --> 00:36:54,153
and I can't wait
to wear a burkini

877
00:36:54,154 --> 00:36:56,195
- on the subcontinent.
- Wow.

878
00:36:56,196 --> 00:36:59,236
Except for Lahore
is nowhere near the sea.

879
00:36:59,237 --> 00:37:00,903
Well, you never know
where we might end up.

880
00:37:00,904 --> 00:37:02,320
And when we come back,

881
00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:03,611
we should have dinner
with James.

882
00:37:03,612 --> 00:37:04,861
We'll get Helena and Harry over.

883
00:37:04,862 --> 00:37:06,361
Helena is Zoe's
very good friend.

884
00:37:06,362 --> 00:37:08,236
She's married
to a lovely man called Harry.

885
00:37:08,237 --> 00:37:09,361
Who's been having an affair.

886
00:37:09,362 --> 00:37:10,945
- Harry?
- Yes.

887
00:37:10,946 --> 00:37:12,528
- No? I can't believe it.
- Yes!

888
00:37:12,529 --> 00:37:14,153
I'm pretty sure most
married men would cheat

889
00:37:14,154 --> 00:37:15,570
if they could get away with it.

890
00:37:15,571 --> 00:37:16,654
James wouldn't.

891
00:37:17,987 --> 00:37:20,528
Even if you're sure
your wife would never know?

892
00:37:20,529 --> 00:37:21,821
No, of course not.

893
00:37:23,321 --> 00:37:24,820
Why not?

894
00:37:24,821 --> 00:37:26,196
Because I'd know.

895
00:37:31,362 --> 00:37:32,653
Bon appétit.

896
00:37:32,654 --> 00:37:33,736
Mmm.

897
00:37:33,737 --> 00:37:35,153
Wait a minute, pet.

898
00:37:35,154 --> 00:37:36,486
Oh!

899
00:37:36,487 --> 00:37:37,904
So, erm...

900
00:37:39,072 --> 00:37:40,279
- Oh, hello, darling.
- Hello!

901
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,946
You're early.
Why are you so early?

902
00:37:41,947 --> 00:37:43,112
Flight doesn't leave for hours.

903
00:37:43,113 --> 00:37:44,237
I know. I know. We just need

904
00:37:44,238 --> 00:37:45,737
to allow extra time
for security.

905
00:37:45,738 --> 00:37:46,862
Why?

906
00:37:46,863 --> 00:37:48,905
So, I can be randomly selected.

907
00:37:49,613 --> 00:37:51,113
Oh! Oh.

908
00:37:51,572 --> 00:37:52,654
Oh...

909
00:37:52,655 --> 00:37:54,612
Well, that's a shame.

910
00:37:54,613 --> 00:37:55,696
James was about to tell us

911
00:37:55,697 --> 00:37:56,821
something

912
00:37:56,822 --> 00:37:57,904
absolutely hilarious.

913
00:37:57,905 --> 00:38:01,112
Look who's here.
He says we've got to go.

914
00:38:01,113 --> 00:38:03,821
Sorry, Mum, that your enormous
efforts have gone to waste.

915
00:38:03,822 --> 00:38:06,904
But, you know, we've got
a plane to catch, and...

916
00:38:06,905 --> 00:38:08,029
Kaz, the doctor...

917
00:38:08,030 --> 00:38:09,112
- Hi.
- Hi.

918
00:38:09,113 --> 00:38:10,237
Meet James the vet.

919
00:38:10,238 --> 00:38:12,696
I've heard all about you.
Good luck with the wedding.

920
00:38:12,697 --> 00:38:14,321
- Thank you.
- Oh. Barney. Barney.

921
00:38:14,322 --> 00:38:15,821
Mummy go shopping.

922
00:38:15,822 --> 00:38:16,946
Mummy go shopping.

923
00:38:16,947 --> 00:38:18,612
Don't tell Barney that
I'm off to Lahore,

924
00:38:18,613 --> 00:38:19,696
because he'll get...

925
00:38:19,697 --> 00:38:22,737
Shopping. Shopping.
Stay. Shopping. Stay. Stay.

926
00:38:22,738 --> 00:38:24,029
Let me help you with the cases.

927
00:38:24,030 --> 00:38:25,196
No, I'll get them.

928
00:38:25,197 --> 00:38:27,529
Well, I'm looking forward
to hearing how it all goes.

929
00:38:27,530 --> 00:38:29,154
- Yeah, you, too.
- Great. Well...

930
00:38:29,155 --> 00:38:30,779
- Oh...
- I mean, thanks.

931
00:38:30,780 --> 00:38:32,488
- Great. Yeah.
- Bye. Bye.

932
00:38:33,238 --> 00:38:35,279
Oh, James.

933
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,696
I am so sorry
that we've got to go. But...

934
00:38:38,697 --> 00:38:41,654
Well, I'll FaceTime you both
from Pakistan

935
00:38:41,655 --> 00:38:43,822
or, or...

936
00:38:44,738 --> 00:38:46,988
Cover my FaceTime.

937
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:49,487
You set me off.

938
00:38:49,488 --> 00:38:52,029
Keep that, just in case
you might want to go shopping.

939
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:55,072
Bye. Darling, bye.
Eat the omelettes.

940
00:38:55,073 --> 00:38:57,197
- Okay. Yeah.
- Bye. Bye.

941
00:38:57,198 --> 00:38:58,281
Bye!

942
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:02,573
Barney.

943
00:39:08,989 --> 00:39:12,572
And this is her in
the nativity play where...

944
00:39:12,573 --> 00:39:14,238
You don't know what that is,

945
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:15,780
but I'll explain later.

946
00:39:15,781 --> 00:39:17,238
Her when she was a little baby.

947
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:18,656
She was only three months old.

948
00:39:27,906 --> 00:39:29,406
Are you all right?

949
00:39:31,323 --> 00:39:33,406
It's thought field therapy.
It's, er...

950
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,573
a technique.

951
00:39:36,281 --> 00:39:39,573
I don't like flying.

952
00:39:43,073 --> 00:39:44,905
Even the lingo's morbid.
It's what?

953
00:39:44,906 --> 00:39:46,906
"Final destination".
"Departed".

954
00:39:48,198 --> 00:39:50,323
Or "Terminal".

955
00:39:51,948 --> 00:39:53,447
Some nuts, sir?
Thank you.

956
00:39:53,448 --> 00:39:54,448
You're welcome.

957
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,530
Who was that guy
at your mum's house?

958
00:39:58,531 --> 00:40:00,073
Mmm.

959
00:40:01,114 --> 00:40:03,573
If I were Pakistani,
he'd be my arranged husband.

960
00:40:05,114 --> 00:40:07,949
- Sounds ideal.
- Except that he's not my type.

961
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,240
- What is your type?
- Oh!

962
00:40:12,824 --> 00:40:14,989
- But is that wrong?
- Yeah.

963
00:40:14,990 --> 00:40:17,615
Uh, don't know.

964
00:40:21,865 --> 00:40:23,615
Can I ask you a question?

965
00:40:26,449 --> 00:40:29,489
Would you cheat if you knew
you'd never get caught?

966
00:40:29,490 --> 00:40:32,323
Be honest.
If your wife would never know.

967
00:40:32,324 --> 00:40:33,365
No.

968
00:40:34,324 --> 00:40:35,657
Why not?

969
00:40:37,407 --> 00:40:38,449
Well, he'd know.

970
00:40:39,990 --> 00:40:41,365
Oh.

971
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,449
He's listening.

972
00:41:00,199 --> 00:41:02,031
Aren't they
desperately uncomfortable

973
00:41:02,032 --> 00:41:03,198
covered up like that
in this heat

974
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:04,573
except for their eyes?

975
00:41:04,574 --> 00:41:07,406
No, not as uncomfortable
as those poor women

976
00:41:07,407 --> 00:41:09,864
who are uncovered
except for their eyes.

977
00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,323
Like on <i>Love Island.</i>
You see, Cath,

978
00:41:12,324 --> 00:41:14,156
our women are valued
for what's on the inside.

979
00:41:14,157 --> 00:41:16,698
Which is why we don't have
plastic surgery

980
00:41:16,699 --> 00:41:17,823
and anorexia,

981
00:41:17,824 --> 00:41:19,614
and all these Western diseases.

982
00:41:19,615 --> 00:41:20,906
Well, I suppose a burka's

983
00:41:20,907 --> 00:41:22,825
wonderfully forgiving, isn't it?

984
00:41:24,991 --> 00:41:26,408
A rupee for your thoughts?

985
00:41:43,366 --> 00:41:46,283
Oh, it's even better
with my sunglasses off.

986
00:41:48,825 --> 00:41:51,075
What a beautiful hall.

987
00:41:54,033 --> 00:41:55,657
I'm not trying to upset you.

988
00:41:55,658 --> 00:41:57,365
We can't go on like this.

989
00:41:57,366 --> 00:42:00,282
You know this has caused me
the greatest pain in my life.

990
00:42:00,283 --> 00:42:02,407
And that of
your grandmother, too.

991
00:42:02,408 --> 00:42:05,491
Then, there's nothing
we can do about it.

992
00:42:06,325 --> 00:42:07,325
Okay.

993
00:42:11,658 --> 00:42:13,075
I'm so proud of you.

994
00:42:14,033 --> 00:42:16,615
Let's not spoil
this happy occasion.

995
00:42:16,616 --> 00:42:19,074
They met on their wedding day.

996
00:42:19,075 --> 00:42:21,824
He came to her village
on a white horse

997
00:42:21,825 --> 00:42:23,533
to take her away from her home.

998
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,366
In youth,
even a crow looks princely.

999
00:42:27,991 --> 00:42:29,990
Er, like a charming prince.

1000
00:42:29,991 --> 00:42:32,033
I was allergic to horses.

1001
00:42:32,408 --> 00:42:35,158
And they rode off together.

1002
00:42:35,991 --> 00:42:38,116
And did they fall in love?

1003
00:42:38,117 --> 00:42:41,242
Fall in love, lose your peace.

1004
00:42:42,367 --> 00:42:44,867
You know,
we always say, it is, uh,

1005
00:42:45,992 --> 00:42:50,576
better to fall into like,
and walk into love.

1006
00:42:52,242 --> 00:42:53,451
It was a good match.

1007
00:42:55,367 --> 00:42:56,617
It was a good match.

1008
00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:10,158
<i>- Asalam o aleikum.
- Waleikum salam.</i>

1009
00:43:10,159 --> 00:43:11,951
<i>- Asalam o aleikum.
- Waleikum.</i>

1010
00:43:37,576 --> 00:43:39,617
<i>- Asalam o aleikum.
- Waleikum salam.</i>

1011
00:43:41,951 --> 00:43:45,242
What a beautiful girl!

1012
00:43:46,242 --> 00:43:48,326
Thank you.

1013
00:43:48,992 --> 00:43:50,909
Pleased to meet you
in person, finally.

1014
00:43:51,868 --> 00:43:53,452
Thank you.

1015
00:43:59,118 --> 00:44:01,326
How are your studies going?

1016
00:44:01,327 --> 00:44:02,410
Good.

1017
00:44:03,452 --> 00:44:04,617
Good.

1018
00:44:04,618 --> 00:44:07,492
Um, I was thinking
we could maybe

1019
00:44:07,493 --> 00:44:09,868
do something together
this evening.

1020
00:44:40,535 --> 00:44:42,992
We met on Skype.

1021
00:44:42,993 --> 00:44:44,701
Um...

1022
00:44:44,702 --> 00:44:46,202
I thought she was...

1023
00:44:46,952 --> 00:44:50,035
You know, attractive,
obviously. And intelligent.

1024
00:44:50,493 --> 00:44:52,327
Full of life.

1025
00:44:53,410 --> 00:44:55,785
I don't know
what you thought of me.

1026
00:44:56,535 --> 00:45:00,035
I thought he seemed
nice and reasonable.

1027
00:45:01,702 --> 00:45:03,368
That's great. Um...

1028
00:45:04,493 --> 00:45:06,284
Can you tell me

1029
00:45:06,285 --> 00:45:08,328
how... How did you propose?

1030
00:45:08,869 --> 00:45:09,869
Um...

1031
00:45:10,911 --> 00:45:13,078
Well, actually, my...

1032
00:45:14,119 --> 00:45:16,286
parents proposed to her parents.

1033
00:45:19,119 --> 00:45:20,953
It must have been

1034
00:45:21,369 --> 00:45:23,536
daunting for you, Maymouna,

1035
00:45:24,161 --> 00:45:26,493
deciding whether
to spend the rest of your life

1036
00:45:26,494 --> 00:45:28,494
with someone you hardly know.

1037
00:45:29,078 --> 00:45:30,078
Mmm.

1038
00:45:31,453 --> 00:45:33,535
If my parents are comfortable
with their decision,

1039
00:45:33,536 --> 00:45:34,910
I'm okay with it.

1040
00:45:34,911 --> 00:45:36,702
And we talked a load
on the phone.

1041
00:45:36,703 --> 00:45:38,703
And then we got
to know each other.

1042
00:45:40,453 --> 00:45:43,203
Can you sum up
how you both feel?

1043
00:45:44,786 --> 00:45:45,786
Good.

1044
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:48,244
Feels... Feels
like the timing's right.

1045
00:45:50,161 --> 00:45:51,328
And...

1046
00:45:53,036 --> 00:45:55,619
Can you see yourselves
falling in love?

1047
00:45:56,703 --> 00:45:58,411
Yes, <i>inshallah.</i>

1048
00:45:59,119 --> 00:46:00,953
Whatever "in love" means.

1049
00:46:03,953 --> 00:46:04,953
Hmm.

1050
00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:23,786
Did he remember you
from when you were a kid?

1051
00:46:23,787 --> 00:46:25,119
- Yeah, that's family...
- Well?

1052
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,536
- Hey, morning.
- Where are you going?

1053
00:46:27,537 --> 00:46:29,411
You haven't even had breakfast.

1054
00:46:29,412 --> 00:46:30,786
I need to go to the tailor.

1055
00:46:30,787 --> 00:46:32,869
Then I was gonna take Zoe
to Anarkali bazaar.

1056
00:46:32,870 --> 00:46:33,953
You're gonna love it.

1057
00:46:33,954 --> 00:46:35,453
It's a massive bazaar

1058
00:46:35,454 --> 00:46:37,286
named after
a beautiful dancing girl.

1059
00:46:37,287 --> 00:46:39,953
Who was buried alive
by Emperor Akbar

1060
00:46:39,954 --> 00:46:42,620
because she was an unsuitable
match for his son.

1061
00:46:43,912 --> 00:46:45,828
Buried alive.

1062
00:46:45,829 --> 00:46:47,245
I'll see you later.

1063
00:46:49,287 --> 00:46:51,495
Yasmin. Take this
for Nani Jan.

1064
00:47:15,787 --> 00:47:18,037
I can't believe you said...

1065
00:47:18,745 --> 00:47:20,661
"Whatever love means".

1066
00:47:20,662 --> 00:47:21,828
Huh?

1067
00:47:21,829 --> 00:47:24,286
That's what Prince Charles
famously said

1068
00:47:24,287 --> 00:47:26,037
when he got engaged to Diana.

1069
00:47:26,745 --> 00:47:28,994
I thought that sounded familiar.

1070
00:47:28,995 --> 00:47:30,703
They basically had
an arranged marriage.

1071
00:47:30,704 --> 00:47:32,119
Yeah.

1072
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:33,619
That worked out really well.

1073
00:47:33,620 --> 00:47:36,788
Princess Diana wanted
to marry a Pakistani man.

1074
00:47:37,830 --> 00:47:40,496
- Doctor Hasnat Khan.
- Doctor Khan.

1075
00:47:41,413 --> 00:47:43,912
- Mother said no.
- What happened to him?

1076
00:47:43,913 --> 00:47:45,995
He had an arranged marriage.

1077
00:47:45,996 --> 00:47:47,788
Lived happily enough ever after?

1078
00:47:48,788 --> 00:47:50,371
Got divorced.

1079
00:47:50,705 --> 00:47:52,955
He'd become too much Western.

1080
00:48:02,830 --> 00:48:04,495
Okay, question.

1081
00:48:04,496 --> 00:48:07,121
What did you think of her?
In real life?

1082
00:48:08,455 --> 00:48:11,370
- She's great.
- Yeah, but, um,

1083
00:48:11,371 --> 00:48:12,870
did you fancy her?

1084
00:48:12,871 --> 00:48:15,954
Zoe, please. Do I have to say
that on camera? Come on.

1085
00:48:15,955 --> 00:48:17,745
- So annoying.
- Fine.

1086
00:48:17,746 --> 00:48:21,329
And are you nervous
about the <i>mehndi</i> tonight?

1087
00:48:21,330 --> 00:48:23,537
Actually, just tell me
what that is.

1088
00:48:23,538 --> 00:48:26,412
Well, in Pakistan,
we really like

1089
00:48:26,413 --> 00:48:28,329
to draw out
the wedding celebrations.

1090
00:48:28,330 --> 00:48:30,038
It's over three days.

1091
00:48:30,913 --> 00:48:32,079
Uh...

1092
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,495
And first it's the <i>mehndi,</i>
which is tonight.

1093
00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:36,037
And, uh...

1094
00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:39,037
Kind of like a stag
and a hen rolled into one.

1095
00:48:39,038 --> 00:48:41,120
Except your grandparents are
there, which is lovely.

1096
00:48:41,121 --> 00:48:42,954
And the groom
isn't stripped naked

1097
00:48:42,955 --> 00:48:44,621
and tied to a lamppost.

1098
00:48:45,288 --> 00:48:46,787
And then the next day
is the <i>nikah,</i>

1099
00:48:46,788 --> 00:48:48,455
that's the actual marriage.

1100
00:48:49,038 --> 00:48:51,456
And the <i>shaadi.</i>
Then, er, <i>walima.</i>

1101
00:48:52,164 --> 00:48:54,163
Where the main thing is
you have to look

1102
00:48:54,164 --> 00:48:56,372
like you haven't enjoyed
your first night together.

1103
00:48:58,581 --> 00:49:00,413
What if you haven't enjoyed

1104
00:49:00,414 --> 00:49:01,539
your first night together?

1105
00:49:02,206 --> 00:49:03,956
- No comment?
- No comment.

1106
00:49:04,581 --> 00:49:06,039
Can we go in?

1107
00:49:07,206 --> 00:49:09,997
My mum would love this.
Can I film in here?

1108
00:49:16,789 --> 00:49:18,122
Afghanistan.

1109
00:49:19,747 --> 00:49:22,122
It's beautiful.
How much is it?

1110
00:49:23,247 --> 00:49:24,706
15,000.

1111
00:49:31,956 --> 00:49:33,413
Give him 10,000.

1112
00:49:33,414 --> 00:49:34,789
Here.

1113
00:49:35,206 --> 00:49:36,456
Thank you.

1114
00:49:39,872 --> 00:49:41,206
Thanks, Kaz.

1115
00:49:43,497 --> 00:49:44,664
You know

1116
00:49:45,622 --> 00:49:46,622
all that stuff,

1117
00:49:48,414 --> 00:49:49,997
passion, and...

1118
00:49:50,247 --> 00:49:52,664
chemistry, whatever you want
to call it,

1119
00:49:55,289 --> 00:49:57,122
it's not
the most important thing.

1120
00:49:58,372 --> 00:50:00,122
Doesn't last, anyway.

1121
00:50:16,540 --> 00:50:17,790
It's amazing.

1122
00:50:19,915 --> 00:50:21,165
He thinks you're my wife.

1123
00:50:23,623 --> 00:50:25,622
I'm saying
that you're just a friend.

1124
00:50:25,623 --> 00:50:27,457
Just friends.

1125
00:50:27,998 --> 00:50:29,873
I was your first kiss, too.

1126
00:50:32,998 --> 00:50:34,415
In the treehouse.

1127
00:50:40,082 --> 00:50:42,415
I just can't believe
you've forgotten.

1128
00:50:48,748 --> 00:50:50,247
Kaz.

1129
00:50:50,248 --> 00:50:51,623
Hmm?

1130
00:50:53,165 --> 00:50:55,540
What was that row
with your mum about?

1131
00:50:58,498 --> 00:50:59,498
It's...

1132
00:51:01,082 --> 00:51:04,082
Just about Jamila
coming to the wedding.

1133
00:51:04,373 --> 00:51:07,331
Why is what she did so bad?

1134
00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:08,539
A Muslim woman isn't supposed

1135
00:51:08,540 --> 00:51:10,664
to marry a non-Muslim guy.
It's <i>haram,</i> innit?

1136
00:51:10,665 --> 00:51:12,164
- I know.
- She ran off with this guy,

1137
00:51:12,165 --> 00:51:14,540
broke my grandfather's heart. Literally.

1138
00:51:15,165 --> 00:51:16,956
He died a week later.

1139
00:51:16,957 --> 00:51:18,998
You can't blame that on her.

1140
00:51:19,290 --> 00:51:20,582
Then she didn't even come
to the funeral.

1141
00:51:20,583 --> 00:51:21,707
Why not?

1142
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:23,416
She wanted him...

1143
00:51:24,166 --> 00:51:26,498
David, to be welcome, too.

1144
00:51:26,499 --> 00:51:27,832
Can I film you saying
this stuff?

1145
00:51:27,833 --> 00:51:29,373
- No.
- Please, Kaz.

1146
00:51:29,374 --> 00:51:30,873
I can't just show
what you want me to show.

1147
00:51:30,874 --> 00:51:32,790
If it's not truthful,
it just won't have any value.

1148
00:51:32,791 --> 00:51:34,083
Please.

1149
00:51:34,708 --> 00:51:37,416
- Okay. I'm sorry.
- You know they've had a baby?

1150
00:51:37,999 --> 00:51:41,415
My mum's first grandchild
who she's never even met.

1151
00:51:41,416 --> 00:51:44,123
All this unhappiness.
All she did was fall in love.

1152
00:51:44,124 --> 00:51:45,373
No, that's not all she did, Zoe.

1153
00:51:45,374 --> 00:51:46,957
She chose love over family.

1154
00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:48,707
But isn't that the whole point
of marriage?

1155
00:51:48,708 --> 00:51:49,915
There are some things

1156
00:51:49,916 --> 00:51:51,123
I don't expect you
to understand.

1157
00:51:51,124 --> 00:51:52,290
Can you explain to me

1158
00:51:52,291 --> 00:51:53,790
how it's so different
even though we grew up

1159
00:51:53,791 --> 00:51:54,832
on the same street?

1160
00:51:54,833 --> 00:51:56,040
- How are we different?
- Yes.

1161
00:51:56,041 --> 00:51:58,208
- Are you serious?
- Please.

1162
00:51:58,874 --> 00:52:00,624
Okay.

1163
00:52:01,833 --> 00:52:02,957
For a start, you don't
get asked every week

1164
00:52:02,958 --> 00:52:04,040
where you're from originally,

1165
00:52:04,041 --> 00:52:05,998
or how often you
go back to Pakistan.

1166
00:52:05,999 --> 00:52:07,498
You're British,
I'm British born,

1167
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:09,748
which we all know is just code
for non-white.

1168
00:52:09,749 --> 00:52:11,041
Brit-ish, you know.

1169
00:52:13,124 --> 00:52:14,915
And you're not expected
to apologise profoundly

1170
00:52:14,916 --> 00:52:16,207
on behalf of all brown people

1171
00:52:16,208 --> 00:52:17,540
every time there's
a terror attack

1172
00:52:17,541 --> 00:52:18,624
anywhere in the world.

1173
00:52:20,958 --> 00:52:22,540
There was an entire continent

1174
00:52:22,541 --> 00:52:25,248
between number 49 and 47, Zoe.

1175
00:52:25,249 --> 00:52:27,833
Isn't that why
you're making the film?

1176
00:52:35,584 --> 00:52:37,292
I have to pray. I'll be back.

1177
00:54:06,168 --> 00:54:07,293
Thank you.

1178
00:54:45,376 --> 00:54:46,376
Zoe.

1179
00:54:47,085 --> 00:54:48,085
Zoe.

1180
00:54:48,585 --> 00:54:50,251
You're in the bride's way.

1181
00:55:13,627 --> 00:55:15,752
You look very beautiful.

1182
00:55:17,586 --> 00:55:19,127
Thank you.

1183
00:55:20,836 --> 00:55:21,836
Hi.

1184
00:55:25,211 --> 00:55:26,501
- Hi.
- Hi.

1185
00:55:26,502 --> 00:55:27,918
Why are all the women here

1186
00:55:27,919 --> 00:55:29,418
dressed in easy access garments?

1187
00:55:29,419 --> 00:55:31,794
This is Pucci. Baby.

1188
00:55:33,877 --> 00:55:37,627
And that's Mousey,
Toffee and Binky.

1189
00:55:38,794 --> 00:55:40,419
Do they have no shame?

1190
00:55:41,044 --> 00:55:42,376
I want to go home.

1191
00:55:42,377 --> 00:55:44,251
Nani Jan, please don't leave.

1192
00:55:44,252 --> 00:55:45,585
Not yet. It's...

1193
00:55:45,586 --> 00:55:47,168
Let her leave.

1194
00:55:47,169 --> 00:55:49,669
When dinosaurs leave,
at least we all can relax.

1195
00:56:50,753 --> 00:56:52,420
Sorry about this.

1196
00:56:54,170 --> 00:56:55,920
Not too much smiling.

1197
00:57:00,253 --> 00:57:02,211
Now the party starts.

1198
00:57:02,212 --> 00:57:03,586
<i>♪ Pin up girl on that poster ♪</i>

1199
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:06,628
<i>♪ Say so like I'm Doja
Icey ♪</i>

1200
00:57:06,962 --> 00:57:09,669
<i>♪ Wifey
Body shape Coca-Cola ♪</i>

1201
00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:11,419
<i>♪ I got a new man in my business ♪</i>

1202
00:57:11,420 --> 00:57:13,294
<i>♪ And he all about his business ♪</i>

1203
00:57:13,295 --> 00:57:15,419
<i>♪ And his name ain't
none of your business ♪</i>

1204
00:57:15,420 --> 00:57:17,503
Oi, don't get drunk, fellas.

1205
00:57:19,003 --> 00:57:22,086
<i>♪ Oh, baby, let them know
'Cause they can run they mouth ♪</i>

1206
00:57:22,087 --> 00:57:23,962
Ooh!

1207
00:57:24,295 --> 00:57:26,711
What... There's something
in that? What's in that?

1208
00:57:26,712 --> 00:57:28,086
It's Coke masala.

1209
00:57:28,087 --> 00:57:29,794
- Masala?
- It's really good.

1210
00:57:29,795 --> 00:57:32,044
It's so good.

1211
00:57:32,045 --> 00:57:34,837
- Whisky.
- Oh, my God.

1212
00:57:34,838 --> 00:57:38,712
<i>♪ Money long like beaches
Rolls Royce screeching ♪</i>

1213
00:57:38,713 --> 00:57:40,545
<i>♪ Rolex gleaming ♪</i>

1214
00:57:40,546 --> 00:57:43,503
<i>♪ Let them know
Oh, baby, let them know ♪</i>

1215
00:57:43,504 --> 00:57:44,962
<i>♪ 'Cause they can run they mouth ♪</i>

1216
00:57:44,963 --> 00:57:47,129
I'm gonna head over there.
Congratulations.

1217
00:57:48,004 --> 00:57:49,671
Selfie, selfie.

1218
00:57:53,754 --> 00:57:55,421
Have you seen Maymouna?

1219
00:57:55,963 --> 00:57:58,296
- I think she was...
- There she is.

1220
00:57:59,629 --> 00:58:01,753
And she's a blonde.

1221
00:58:01,754 --> 00:58:03,629
Kaz! Come!

1222
00:58:09,379 --> 00:58:10,878
Ooh!

1223
00:58:10,879 --> 00:58:13,921
Kaz, you... You still haven't
met my friend.

1224
00:58:14,463 --> 00:58:15,503
- Taqi.
- Ah.

1225
00:58:15,504 --> 00:58:16,920
Lahore's hair king.

1226
00:58:16,921 --> 00:58:18,378
Er, queen, darling.

1227
00:58:18,379 --> 00:58:20,670
And don't the honeymoon
highlights look fabulous, huh?

1228
00:58:20,671 --> 00:58:21,962
Amazing.

1229
00:58:21,963 --> 00:58:23,123
- Mmm-hmm.
- Nice to meet you.

1230
00:58:24,171 --> 00:58:26,421
- Hi. How are you?
- High. How are you?

1231
00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:30,213
He means,
"How high are you?"

1232
00:58:31,754 --> 00:58:34,712
Sorry. This is my friend, Zoe.
We're friends from London.

1233
00:58:34,713 --> 00:58:36,503
- Hi. You want a jay?
- Hey.

1234
00:58:36,504 --> 00:58:38,378
Oh, no. No, thanks.

1235
00:58:38,379 --> 00:58:39,712
Take one.

1236
00:58:39,713 --> 00:58:43,337
Taqi brings all the treats
to the party. Always.

1237
00:58:43,338 --> 00:58:44,962
Darling, I'm only
following the rules.

1238
00:58:44,963 --> 00:58:46,045
The Quran says,

1239
00:58:46,046 --> 00:58:47,253
if a man lies with another man,

1240
00:58:47,254 --> 00:58:49,297
he should be stoned.

1241
00:58:51,464 --> 00:58:53,254
Married tomorrow.

1242
00:58:53,255 --> 00:58:55,713
- Sin tonight?
- I'm good, thank you.

1243
00:58:55,714 --> 00:58:56,963
Oh, my God.

1244
00:58:56,964 --> 00:58:59,297
I hope I'm not gonna be
calling you <i>chachoo.</i>

1245
00:59:00,505 --> 00:59:03,088
- What's <i>"chachoo"?</i>
- It means "uncle".

1246
00:59:03,089 --> 00:59:05,838
I thought
that you'd all be more...

1247
00:59:05,839 --> 00:59:06,963
More modern,

1248
00:59:06,964 --> 00:59:09,129
living in London and all,
you know.

1249
00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:11,672
But I mean, hello?

1250
00:59:14,047 --> 00:59:15,379
Oh...

1251
00:59:15,380 --> 00:59:16,505
Finally.

1252
00:59:18,505 --> 00:59:19,505
Hmm.

1253
00:59:24,755 --> 00:59:27,463
Let's... Let's dance.

1254
00:59:27,464 --> 00:59:29,338
- You coming?
- Uh, not right now.

1255
00:59:29,339 --> 00:59:31,380
- You guys go. Have fun.
- Aw...

1256
00:59:33,172 --> 00:59:34,797
I think I'm gonna just...

1257
00:59:35,422 --> 00:59:36,754
You want?

1258
00:59:36,755 --> 00:59:38,629
No, I'm gonna go and follow...
Nice to meet you guys, though.

1259
00:59:38,630 --> 00:59:39,880
Bye!

1260
00:59:51,672 --> 00:59:53,047
Whoo!

1261
00:59:57,422 --> 00:59:59,130
She likes a party.

1262
01:00:05,048 --> 01:00:06,090
Yeah.

1263
01:00:11,090 --> 01:00:14,006
Not exactly what my parents
had in mind.

1264
01:00:22,465 --> 01:00:23,590
We should go.

1265
01:00:39,006 --> 01:00:40,714
Are you okay?

1266
01:00:40,715 --> 01:00:42,340
Just tired.

1267
01:00:43,215 --> 01:00:44,965
You're sure it's okay to

1268
01:00:45,423 --> 01:00:47,422
leave your own <i>mehndi?</i>

1269
01:00:47,423 --> 01:00:49,673
No-one's gonna notice, trust me.

1270
01:00:51,090 --> 01:00:52,340
<i>Chachoo.</i>

1271
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:58,090
One second.

1272
01:01:04,006 --> 01:01:07,048
Oh, wow.
I wanna show you something.

1273
01:01:07,340 --> 01:01:09,423
- Come. Come.
- What?

1274
01:01:24,799 --> 01:01:26,507
Sufi music.

1275
01:01:28,549 --> 01:01:31,132
No, Zoe. Just listen.
Just listen. He's...

1276
01:01:31,591 --> 01:01:33,341
He's singing to God.

1277
01:01:37,216 --> 01:01:38,799
Singing about a...

1278
01:01:40,424 --> 01:01:42,007
dangerous love.

1279
01:01:42,966 --> 01:01:44,299
Keeps him awake at night.

1280
01:02:04,549 --> 01:02:05,966
You see?

1281
01:02:06,549 --> 01:02:08,132
He's going mad.

1282
01:02:12,757 --> 01:02:13,757
I told you, Zoe.

1283
01:02:13,758 --> 01:02:15,757
Love is a dangerous
mental illness.

1284
01:03:18,508 --> 01:03:20,758
What?

1285
01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:25,092
I didn't forget it.

1286
01:03:28,258 --> 01:03:29,967
The treehouse.

1287
01:04:54,009 --> 01:04:55,300
If it wasn't for Islam,

1288
01:04:55,301 --> 01:04:56,967
there would have been
no Reformation.

1289
01:04:56,968 --> 01:04:58,425
- No Renaissance.
- Hi.

1290
01:04:58,426 --> 01:04:59,842
No toothbrushes.

1291
01:04:59,843 --> 01:05:00,926
Hi.

1292
01:05:02,219 --> 01:05:04,384
Hello, everyone.
That was a hoot, wasn't it?

1293
01:05:04,385 --> 01:05:06,135
Have something to eat?
I'm fine.

1294
01:05:07,010 --> 01:05:08,134
Where did you all go?

1295
01:05:08,135 --> 01:05:10,593
I was perfecting my Hollywood,

1296
01:05:10,594 --> 01:05:12,926
Dollywood, Bollywood,

1297
01:05:12,927 --> 01:05:15,968
thingies, and I turned round,
you'd all disappeared.

1298
01:05:15,969 --> 01:05:17,968
What else did Muslims invent?

1299
01:05:17,969 --> 01:05:19,218
Algorithms.
Bicycles.

1300
01:05:19,219 --> 01:05:21,093
- Coffee. Algebra.
- Chickens?

1301
01:05:21,094 --> 01:05:23,510
No, that's...
Chicken korma?

1302
01:05:24,469 --> 01:05:26,093
- The first flying machine.
- Yes.

1303
01:05:26,094 --> 01:05:27,552
- Yes, well done.
- That's right!

1304
01:05:29,302 --> 01:05:31,594
I could do
without algorithms myself.

1305
01:05:31,927 --> 01:05:32,968
Thank God

1306
01:05:32,969 --> 01:05:35,509
the bride didn't
join the dancing last night.

1307
01:05:35,510 --> 01:05:37,760
Oh, well, no, you...

1308
01:05:39,302 --> 01:05:41,177
No, she didn't.

1309
01:05:42,177 --> 01:05:43,343
- You enjoyed yourself.
- Hi.

1310
01:05:43,344 --> 01:05:44,593
That's important.

1311
01:05:44,594 --> 01:05:46,843
Um, do you think we can talk?

1312
01:05:46,844 --> 01:05:50,009
5:00 p.m. sharp for the <i>nikah,</i>
everybody, okay?

1313
01:05:50,010 --> 01:05:53,344
- I'm not sure...
- No, on camera, I mean.

1314
01:06:01,844 --> 01:06:04,427
You're getting married
in a few hours.

1315
01:06:05,177 --> 01:06:06,177
Yeah.

1316
01:06:07,135 --> 01:06:08,259
How are you feeling?

1317
01:06:08,260 --> 01:06:10,384
Feeling fine.

1318
01:06:10,385 --> 01:06:13,009
No pre-wedding nerves, or...

1319
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:14,302
No.

1320
01:06:20,303 --> 01:06:21,720
I'm all good.

1321
01:06:27,803 --> 01:06:30,303
You're still fully signed up
to this?

1322
01:06:31,928 --> 01:06:32,928
Yes.

1323
01:06:38,928 --> 01:06:40,970
And this is what you want?

1324
01:06:42,386 --> 01:06:44,136
Yes, this is what I want.

1325
01:06:56,220 --> 01:06:57,970
Is that it, or...

1326
01:06:59,011 --> 01:07:00,595
Got everything you need?

1327
01:07:01,595 --> 01:07:03,136
Kaz, this is mad.

1328
01:07:04,178 --> 01:07:05,553
What's... What's mad?

1329
01:07:06,261 --> 01:07:09,010
I just, um...

1330
01:07:09,011 --> 01:07:11,594
I just... I feel
like everyone's pretending.

1331
01:07:11,595 --> 01:07:13,302
- Who's pretending?
- Er...

1332
01:07:13,303 --> 01:07:14,720
Everyone.

1333
01:07:15,636 --> 01:07:18,844
I mean, just you're pretending
Jamila doesn't exist.

1334
01:07:18,845 --> 01:07:21,510
Er, pretending Maymouna
doesn't dance.

1335
01:07:21,511 --> 01:07:24,719
Pretending no one has sex!
Kaz, you're 32 years old!

1336
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:27,052
And your parents don't even
know you smoke.

1337
01:07:27,053 --> 01:07:29,635
Oh, my God. I told you before.
That's about respect, Zoe.

1338
01:07:29,636 --> 01:07:31,970
This is not a veil on your sins.

1339
01:07:31,971 --> 01:07:36,179
This is a bloody great burka
shrouding your whole identity.

1340
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:39,553
What do you want?

1341
01:07:39,554 --> 01:07:42,221
I don't want you to marry
someone you don't love.

1342
01:07:43,846 --> 01:07:45,596
Life's too short.

1343
01:07:46,179 --> 01:07:48,471
And too long
to marry the wrong person.

1344
01:07:49,179 --> 01:07:50,636
What do you want for you?

1345
01:07:50,637 --> 01:07:51,928
Well, this isn't about me.

1346
01:07:51,929 --> 01:07:53,595
Don't worry about me.
I'm fine.

1347
01:07:53,596 --> 01:07:55,178
You keep questioning
my decisions.

1348
01:07:55,179 --> 01:07:56,428
Maybe you should focus
on your own choices.

1349
01:07:56,429 --> 01:07:57,761
What is that supposed to mean?

1350
01:07:57,762 --> 01:07:59,053
Maybe the reason
you haven't got anyone

1351
01:07:59,054 --> 01:08:00,970
to watch a TV series with

1352
01:08:00,971 --> 01:08:02,053
is that you actively

1353
01:08:02,054 --> 01:08:03,303
search out anyone who is wrong.

1354
01:08:03,304 --> 01:08:05,345
Oh, my God. This is bullshit.

1355
01:08:05,346 --> 01:08:06,636
No, it's not bullshit.

1356
01:08:06,637 --> 01:08:08,428
A man could be wearing
a literal red flag,

1357
01:08:08,429 --> 01:08:10,637
and you'd think it was
a sexy colour on him.

1358
01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:13,136
If the first person you date
is a dick, you're unlucky.

1359
01:08:13,137 --> 01:08:15,885
If the next ten people
you date are dicks,

1360
01:08:15,886 --> 01:08:16,970
then maybe you need

1361
01:08:16,971 --> 01:08:18,470
to take a long look
at yourself in the mirror,

1362
01:08:18,471 --> 01:08:20,136
and ask yourself why.

1363
01:08:25,261 --> 01:08:26,553
Have you got any more

1364
01:08:26,554 --> 01:08:29,095
profound psychological insights?

1365
01:08:29,096 --> 01:08:30,346
I have a question.

1366
01:08:32,261 --> 01:08:34,596
Does it hurt less
when you aim low and miss?

1367
01:08:41,346 --> 01:08:42,679
Huh.

1368
01:09:09,722 --> 01:09:11,805
Be careful.

1369
01:09:14,347 --> 01:09:15,511
I didn't see you, Nani Jan.

1370
01:09:15,512 --> 01:09:17,180
But you heard me.

1371
01:09:20,762 --> 01:09:23,805
Don't break our hearts again.

1372
01:09:47,972 --> 01:09:49,097
Agreed.

1373
01:11:13,806 --> 01:11:15,055
All Pakistani brides always cry

1374
01:11:15,056 --> 01:11:16,681
as they leave their family.

1375
01:11:16,682 --> 01:11:17,724
It's a tradition.

1376
01:11:19,307 --> 01:11:21,182
Isn't it gorgeous?

1377
01:11:35,557 --> 01:11:37,639
<i>Can we have</i>
Beauty And The Beast?

1378
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:39,264
<i>Yes, please.</i>

1379
01:11:39,265 --> 01:11:41,931
Yeah, of course you can.

1380
01:11:41,932 --> 01:11:43,014
Come on, then.

1381
01:11:43,015 --> 01:11:44,307
Coming.

1382
01:11:46,015 --> 01:11:48,557
<i>Beauty And The Beast.</i>

1383
01:11:49,932 --> 01:11:52,057
<i>Well, Beast had his faults.</i>

1384
01:11:52,724 --> 01:11:54,931
<i>But persistence pays off.</i>

1385
01:11:54,932 --> 01:11:57,974
<i>He didn't actually lock Beauty
in his cellar.</i>

1386
01:11:58,307 --> 01:11:59,764
<i>That's just what a relationship</i>

1387
01:11:59,765 --> 01:12:01,556
<i>felt like to Beauty.</i>

1388
01:12:01,557 --> 01:12:02,764
<i>Over time,</i>

1389
01:12:02,765 --> 01:12:05,182
<i>Beauty grew to enjoy
Beast's company.</i>

1390
01:12:05,807 --> 01:12:06,848
<i>You know,</i>

1391
01:12:06,849 --> 01:12:08,557
<i>he was dependable and available,</i>

1392
01:12:08,974 --> 01:12:11,640
<i>and there's a lot to be said
for those qualities.</i>

1393
01:12:12,307 --> 01:12:15,139
<i>Was the Beast
her dream hunk? No.</i>

1394
01:12:15,140 --> 01:12:18,139
<i>Did he sweep her
off her feet? No.</i>

1395
01:12:18,140 --> 01:12:21,264
<i>Did he take her breath away?
Perhaps not.</i>

1396
01:12:21,265 --> 01:12:22,639
<i>But Beauty had learnt</i>

1397
01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:24,889
<i>that it's better
to simmer, then boil.</i>

1398
01:12:24,890 --> 01:12:28,264
Do you not have to be a vegan
to do your job?

1399
01:12:28,265 --> 01:12:29,598
To be a vet.

1400
01:12:29,599 --> 01:12:30,765
No, actually, normally,

1401
01:12:30,766 --> 01:12:31,890
I'm only allowed to eat

1402
01:12:31,891 --> 01:12:33,265
the animals I put down.

1403
01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:34,183
I'm kidding.

1404
01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:35,515
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

1405
01:12:35,516 --> 01:12:36,725
I'm...

1406
01:12:39,516 --> 01:12:41,933
That's so close to the bone.

1407
01:12:50,308 --> 01:12:52,432
Right, does anyone want anymore?

1408
01:12:52,433 --> 01:12:54,932
<i>What the Beast was, kids,</i>

1409
01:12:54,933 --> 01:12:57,308
<i>was good enough.</i>

1410
01:12:57,850 --> 01:12:59,683
And sometimes,

1411
01:13:00,475 --> 01:13:03,975
good enough is good enough.

1412
01:13:04,433 --> 01:13:07,349
And she was in love
with the Beast.

1413
01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:09,849
She was in like with him.

1414
01:13:09,850 --> 01:13:11,474
What do you mean, "in like"?

1415
01:13:11,475 --> 01:13:14,475
In like with him,
which is way more important.

1416
01:13:21,266 --> 01:13:22,765
- Zoe.
- Great crowd.

1417
01:13:22,766 --> 01:13:24,057
Mmm.
Yeah.

1418
01:13:24,058 --> 01:13:25,766
Diverse.
Tick.

1419
01:13:26,433 --> 01:13:28,640
- Ooh. Grey pound.
- Tick.

1420
01:13:28,641 --> 01:13:30,140
This is my mum, actually.

1421
01:13:30,141 --> 01:13:33,099
Mum, this is Olly and Sam
who commissioned the film.

1422
01:13:33,100 --> 01:13:35,932
Oh, important.

1423
01:13:35,933 --> 01:13:38,140
So nice to meet you.
Am I in it?

1424
01:13:38,141 --> 01:13:39,390
Oh, you'll have to wait and see.

1425
01:13:39,391 --> 01:13:41,557
Yeah.

1426
01:13:41,558 --> 01:13:42,765
Oh, that's James.

1427
01:13:42,766 --> 01:13:44,265
This is Zoe's boyfriend. Saintly.

1428
01:13:44,266 --> 01:13:45,683
And he's a top vet.

1429
01:13:45,684 --> 01:13:46,766
Aren't you?

1430
01:13:46,767 --> 01:13:47,850
Oh, well, don't know about that.

1431
01:13:47,851 --> 01:13:49,516
Britain's Top Vet?

1432
01:13:49,517 --> 01:13:50,975
Here we go. Here they come.

1433
01:13:50,976 --> 01:13:52,308
Leading vets compete

1434
01:13:52,309 --> 01:13:53,433
in a range
of medical challenges.

1435
01:13:53,434 --> 01:13:54,600
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- James, yes.

1436
01:13:54,601 --> 01:13:56,642
Okay, yeah.

1437
01:13:57,642 --> 01:13:58,684
Hi.

1438
01:13:59,392 --> 01:14:00,767
Hi.

1439
01:14:01,476 --> 01:14:02,476
How are you?

1440
01:14:04,476 --> 01:14:05,476
Good.

1441
01:14:06,184 --> 01:14:08,058
How... How's married life?

1442
01:14:08,059 --> 01:14:10,309
I'm getting settled. It's...

1443
01:14:10,934 --> 01:14:11,976
Mmm-hmm.

1444
01:14:13,184 --> 01:14:16,017
- I heard you met someone.
- Kind of. Um...

1445
01:14:17,351 --> 01:14:20,766
My mum did.
I followed your example.

1446
01:14:20,767 --> 01:14:22,434
So, yeah. Not a dick.

1447
01:14:23,767 --> 01:14:25,184
Result.

1448
01:14:27,642 --> 01:14:28,767
Are you happy?

1449
01:14:29,434 --> 01:14:30,434
Mmm-hmm.

1450
01:14:31,809 --> 01:14:33,016
And you?

1451
01:14:33,017 --> 01:14:35,142
Yeah. I'm getting there.

1452
01:14:36,726 --> 01:14:38,309
Good.

1453
01:14:40,226 --> 01:14:42,100
- Hi.
- Hi, Maymouna.

1454
01:14:42,101 --> 01:14:44,808
Hi. How are you doing?
How are you enjoying London?

1455
01:14:44,809 --> 01:14:46,516
London is good.

1456
01:14:46,517 --> 01:14:48,516
She's missing home.

1457
01:14:48,517 --> 01:14:51,433
- Which is only natural.
- Of course.

1458
01:14:51,434 --> 01:14:53,142
But, hey, listen. Um...

1459
01:14:53,601 --> 01:14:55,184
About the film.

1460
01:14:55,434 --> 01:14:58,058
I just... I wanted to
warn you. It's a rough cut,

1461
01:14:58,059 --> 01:14:59,558
so, it's just...
There's still...

1462
01:14:59,559 --> 01:15:02,892
Okay, everyone.
We are ready to kick off.

1463
01:15:02,893 --> 01:15:04,643
So, Zoe, okay?

1464
01:15:05,602 --> 01:15:07,476
Shall we?

1465
01:15:07,477 --> 01:15:09,560
- Good luck.
- Yeah. Thanks. You, too.

1466
01:15:17,268 --> 01:15:19,392
Hello.

1467
01:15:19,393 --> 01:15:21,352
Hi, everyone. Um...

1468
01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:25,392
Wow, thank you so much
for coming. Thank you.

1469
01:15:25,393 --> 01:15:26,976
I just wanted to say a few words

1470
01:15:26,977 --> 01:15:28,642
about my own journey

1471
01:15:28,643 --> 01:15:29,852
making this film.

1472
01:15:30,477 --> 01:15:33,642
So, I used to think
that arranged marriages

1473
01:15:33,643 --> 01:15:37,352
were this mad, out-dated idea.

1474
01:15:38,018 --> 01:15:41,101
And, when my friend and
neighbour, Farooq, had one,

1475
01:15:41,102 --> 01:15:43,143
I couldn't believe
he could ever be happy.

1476
01:15:44,435 --> 01:15:47,559
But I was wrong.

1477
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:50,684
I was wrong.
Um, and now I wonder

1478
01:15:50,685 --> 01:15:54,184
as someone with a slightly
chequered romantic history...

1479
01:15:54,185 --> 01:15:55,726
Oh, no heckling, please.

1480
01:15:55,727 --> 01:15:56,851
Thanks, Mum.

1481
01:15:56,852 --> 01:16:00,392
Now I wonder whether there
is something to be learned

1482
01:16:00,393 --> 01:16:03,726
from a social system which
offers the opportunity to meet

1483
01:16:03,727 --> 01:16:06,018
available, like-minded,

1484
01:16:06,602 --> 01:16:09,435
non-commitment phobic men, um,

1485
01:16:09,810 --> 01:16:12,435
chosen by the person
who knows you best.

1486
01:16:13,060 --> 01:16:14,978
Me. Like me.

1487
01:16:16,061 --> 01:16:19,685
And also, you know,
maybe between the two extremes

1488
01:16:19,686 --> 01:16:21,310
of no choice
in forced marriages,

1489
01:16:21,311 --> 01:16:24,394
and just too much choice
on dating apps...

1490
01:16:24,811 --> 01:16:26,935
I'm always on dating apps.

1491
01:16:26,936 --> 01:16:28,143
You know,

1492
01:16:28,144 --> 01:16:30,394
maybe somewhere between
passion and pragmatism,

1493
01:16:30,769 --> 01:16:33,643
maybe there's a path
to happy ever after.

1494
01:16:33,644 --> 01:16:34,768
<i>Inshallah, inshallah.</i>

1495
01:16:34,769 --> 01:16:36,060
<i>Inshallah.</i>

1496
01:16:36,061 --> 01:16:37,560
Um, okay,
I'm gonna stop waffling now.

1497
01:16:37,561 --> 01:16:39,393
I'm talking way too much.

1498
01:16:39,394 --> 01:16:42,143
But I do want to say
just the biggest thank you

1499
01:16:42,144 --> 01:16:43,560
to Kaz and Maymouna.

1500
01:16:43,561 --> 01:16:45,435
Thank you so, so much

1501
01:16:45,436 --> 01:16:47,018
for allowing me to film...

1502
01:16:47,019 --> 01:16:50,019
you walking into love.

1503
01:17:09,353 --> 01:17:11,727
- Er, hi.
- Hi.

1504
01:17:11,728 --> 01:17:14,518
- All right. Can I just take?
- Yeah, of course.

1505
01:17:14,519 --> 01:17:15,644
Cheers.

1506
01:17:24,436 --> 01:17:27,477
<i>Is it that different from
using filters on your Tinder?</i>

1507
01:17:27,478 --> 01:17:28,977
<i>It's not really lying, is it?</i>

1508
01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,020
<i>It's...</i>

1509
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:31,728
We're just told to put

1510
01:17:31,729 --> 01:17:33,019
a veil on our sins.
Ooh.

1511
01:17:33,020 --> 01:17:36,269
<i>Nikah is a sacred
marriage contract.</i>

1512
01:17:36,270 --> 01:17:37,894
According to Islam,

1513
01:17:37,895 --> 01:17:40,519
bride and groom must both

1514
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:42,894
define their own terms
and conditions.

1515
01:17:42,895 --> 01:17:47,519
<i>Power of divorce is available
to both partners equally.</i>

1516
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:50,394
Mahr <i>is a token commitment</i>

1517
01:17:50,395 --> 01:17:52,145
<i>of the husband's responsibility.</i>

1518
01:17:56,062 --> 01:17:57,103
Hi.

1519
01:17:57,104 --> 01:17:58,937
Oh, hi.

1520
01:18:01,687 --> 01:18:03,811
- How's it going down?
- Yeah, good.

1521
01:18:03,812 --> 01:18:06,769
I don't dare go back in.

1522
01:18:06,770 --> 01:18:07,853
- What?
- Huh?

1523
01:18:07,854 --> 01:18:09,353
You're super talented.

1524
01:18:09,354 --> 01:18:10,437
Oh.

1525
01:18:12,604 --> 01:18:13,644
Ugh!

1526
01:18:13,645 --> 01:18:15,062
- Zoe.
- Mmm?

1527
01:18:16,062 --> 01:18:17,520
Can we talk?

1528
01:18:20,854 --> 01:18:23,561
Nothing good's ever come
after those three words, but...

1529
01:18:23,562 --> 01:18:24,604
Look...

1530
01:18:26,145 --> 01:18:27,145
You're the dream.

1531
01:18:27,687 --> 01:18:29,311
If I ever thought I'd end up
with someone like you,

1532
01:18:29,312 --> 01:18:31,186
I never would have
been a tortured teenager.

1533
01:18:31,187 --> 01:18:32,229
Ooh.

1534
01:18:33,770 --> 01:18:36,561
You're either proposing to me
or breaking up with me.

1535
01:18:36,562 --> 01:18:37,979
I can't figure out which.

1536
01:18:44,355 --> 01:18:46,063
Oh, shit.

1537
01:18:49,021 --> 01:18:50,480
I just don't want...

1538
01:18:54,855 --> 01:18:56,938
I just can't be your plan B.

1539
01:19:00,271 --> 01:19:01,770
- I want more than that.
- Don't...

1540
01:19:01,771 --> 01:19:04,062
What are you doing?
This is fine.

1541
01:19:04,063 --> 01:19:05,437
All right? This is going fine.

1542
01:19:05,438 --> 01:19:08,687
Yeah, but I don't want fine.

1543
01:19:08,688 --> 01:19:09,812
Why?

1544
01:19:09,813 --> 01:19:11,937
Everyone likes fine!

1545
01:19:11,938 --> 01:19:14,563
Zoe, you don't want fine either.

1546
01:19:22,146 --> 01:19:24,438
How do you know what I want?

1547
01:19:37,063 --> 01:19:40,313
- What am I gonna tell my mum?
- Oh, um...

1548
01:19:41,396 --> 01:19:44,395
Tell her
that I will probably end up

1549
01:19:44,396 --> 01:19:46,563
being your sensible
second husband.

1550
01:19:51,688 --> 01:19:53,688
Well, I mean, either that
or I'll marry the dog.

1551
01:20:09,439 --> 01:20:11,189
<i>It was devastating.</i>

1552
01:20:13,356 --> 01:20:15,313
I think the worst moment
for me was

1553
01:20:15,314 --> 01:20:17,856
when we had
our beautiful little girl,

1554
01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:22,856
and I realised that she would
never know her grandparents.

1555
01:20:23,522 --> 01:20:26,356
<i>I had such a special
relationship with mine.</i>

1556
01:20:27,564 --> 01:20:29,938
<i>But I always knew that</i>

1557
01:20:29,939 --> 01:20:32,981
<i>that would be the price
we'd pay to be together.</i>

1558
01:20:33,731 --> 01:20:37,521
I, um... I did read the Quran
before we got married

1559
01:20:37,522 --> 01:20:39,897
just to try and understand it
a bit.

1560
01:20:40,731 --> 01:20:42,563
It says, "A husband and wife

1561
01:20:42,564 --> 01:20:44,938
"should be like garments
to each other.

1562
01:20:44,939 --> 01:20:47,231
"To protect and keep
each other warm".

1563
01:20:47,897 --> 01:20:49,897
We used that
in our wedding vows.

1564
01:20:50,897 --> 01:20:52,897
<i>Do you have any regrets?</i>

1565
01:20:53,272 --> 01:20:56,606
I regret that I caused
my family so much pain.

1566
01:20:57,439 --> 01:21:00,106
Especially my <i>nani jan,</i>
my grandmother.

1567
01:21:01,856 --> 01:21:04,272
<i>I can never forget her face
when I left.</i>

1568
01:21:06,314 --> 01:21:08,480
<i>But, I...</i>

1569
01:21:08,481 --> 01:21:10,313
I don't believe that

1570
01:21:10,314 --> 01:21:13,021
we choose who we fall
in love with. It's...

1571
01:21:13,022 --> 01:21:16,607
It's too overwhelming
to be in our control.

1572
01:21:18,107 --> 01:21:21,690
<i>But even if it had been
a choice and not my kismet,</i>

1573
01:21:22,315 --> 01:21:24,190
<i>I'd still have chosen him.</i>

1574
01:21:36,398 --> 01:21:37,815
Hey.

1575
01:21:38,565 --> 01:21:40,482
What were you thinking, Zoe?

1576
01:21:40,982 --> 01:21:42,315
I trusted you.

1577
01:21:42,982 --> 01:21:44,897
I was just doing my job.

1578
01:21:44,898 --> 01:21:46,481
Your job isn't
to humiliate my family

1579
01:21:46,482 --> 01:21:48,439
by broadcasting our issues
to the world.

1580
01:21:48,440 --> 01:21:51,106
I had to include Jamila.
Come on.

1581
01:21:51,107 --> 01:21:53,607
Please, why is that
so humiliating?

1582
01:21:57,148 --> 01:21:58,981
Number 47...

1583
01:21:58,982 --> 01:22:00,689
number 49.

1584
01:22:00,690 --> 01:22:02,482
Different continents.

1585
01:22:09,357 --> 01:22:11,147
It was beautiful.

1586
01:22:11,148 --> 01:22:13,107
Maymouna.

1587
01:22:15,857 --> 01:22:17,148
Thank you.

1588
01:22:45,691 --> 01:22:47,273
Zoe, that was a bit cruel.

1589
01:22:47,274 --> 01:22:48,898
You could have told me
that outfit made me look

1590
01:22:48,899 --> 01:22:50,190
like a pile of dirty washing.

1591
01:22:50,191 --> 01:22:53,357
- Oh! Mum, not now!
- Where's... Where's James?

1592
01:22:53,358 --> 01:22:55,857
He just dumped me. So...

1593
01:22:55,858 --> 01:22:58,857
Oh, Zoe, what have you done now?

1594
01:22:58,858 --> 01:23:02,190
Oh, no! I thought
he was finally the solution.

1595
01:23:02,191 --> 01:23:04,691
Oh! You sound like Hitler!

1596
01:23:05,566 --> 01:23:06,566
Zoe...

1597
01:23:06,858 --> 01:23:10,065
Come on, he's the best one
you've ever picked.

1598
01:23:10,066 --> 01:23:12,108
I didn't pick him. You did.

1599
01:23:20,941 --> 01:23:23,233
I'm worried
you're gonna end up alone.

1600
01:23:25,108 --> 01:23:27,816
You're alone. You seem fine.

1601
01:23:29,649 --> 01:23:31,773
- That's different...
- Am I

1602
01:23:31,774 --> 01:23:34,190
just half a person
when I'm not with a man?

1603
01:23:34,191 --> 01:23:35,482
Is that what you think?

1604
01:23:35,483 --> 01:23:37,483
Am I just not enough for you
as I am?

1605
01:23:39,024 --> 01:23:42,440
Oh, darling, that's not fair.
That's not fair!

1606
01:23:42,441 --> 01:23:43,859
- I can't do this.
- I didn't...

1607
01:23:46,442 --> 01:23:47,442
Zoe.

1608
01:24:38,775 --> 01:24:40,775
Do you need to get that?

1609
01:25:12,776 --> 01:25:14,110
Why didn't you tell me?

1610
01:25:32,860 --> 01:25:34,485
So, what do we do now?

1611
01:25:37,276 --> 01:25:38,360
Pretend.

1612
01:25:39,526 --> 01:25:41,110
Like everyone else.

1613
01:25:50,276 --> 01:25:51,360
"Pretend".

1614
01:26:05,193 --> 01:26:06,776
<i>Sleeping Beauty</i>

1615
01:26:08,110 --> 01:26:09,610
<i>tried to</i>

1616
01:26:10,485 --> 01:26:12,861
<i>fake it to make it.</i>

1617
01:26:25,527 --> 01:26:27,361
<i>She was just sad.</i>

1618
01:26:29,569 --> 01:26:31,902
<i>And so she went to sleep</i>

1619
01:26:33,527 --> 01:26:35,861
<i>for 100 years.</i>

1620
01:26:40,944 --> 01:26:43,111
<i>Snow White was also sad.</i>

1621
01:26:44,402 --> 01:26:47,111
<i>She ate a poisoned apple
on purpose</i>

1622
01:26:48,777 --> 01:26:50,652
<i>because she was depressed.</i>

1623
01:26:51,986 --> 01:26:53,736
<i>Which literally means</i>

1624
01:26:55,569 --> 01:26:57,236
<i>"deep rest".</i>

1625
01:26:59,402 --> 01:27:00,402
<i>And...</i>

1626
01:27:01,277 --> 01:27:03,944
No-one lived happily ever after

1627
01:27:06,944 --> 01:27:09,152
because that never happens
in real life.

1628
01:27:10,944 --> 01:27:13,611
<i>Only in fairy tales.</i>

1629
01:27:19,986 --> 01:27:21,068
So, yeah,

1630
01:27:21,069 --> 01:27:22,349
if we look
at the section here...

1631
01:27:31,820 --> 01:27:34,319
What are you doing here?
All good?

1632
01:27:34,320 --> 01:27:37,570
I keep calling and calling,
you never answer my phone.

1633
01:27:40,820 --> 01:27:42,028
All okay?

1634
01:27:42,820 --> 01:27:44,903
Yeah, everything's okay.

1635
01:27:50,528 --> 01:27:52,445
How's Maymouna? And...

1636
01:27:53,987 --> 01:27:55,903
How are you both getting on?

1637
01:27:56,445 --> 01:27:57,612
It's all fine.

1638
01:28:04,945 --> 01:28:06,945
<i>Beta,</i> it takes time to adjust.

1639
01:28:08,862 --> 01:28:11,362
It wasn't easy for me either
at the start.

1640
01:28:12,487 --> 01:28:15,361
Your father and I hardly spoke
for the first month,

1641
01:28:15,362 --> 01:28:16,445
and now look at us.

1642
01:28:18,487 --> 01:28:22,028
Sorry, <i>ammi,</i> I'm...
So much to do. I'm busy today.

1643
01:28:27,945 --> 01:28:28,945
Okay.

1644
01:28:30,028 --> 01:28:32,195
So I'll see you both
for <i>Eid</i> tomorrow.

1645
01:28:32,653 --> 01:28:33,653
If it's confirmed.

1646
01:28:34,570 --> 01:28:36,028
I'll call you later, huh?

1647
01:28:39,695 --> 01:28:41,277
You know, <i>beta,</i>

1648
01:28:41,278 --> 01:28:43,153
why the Prophet said,

1649
01:28:43,154 --> 01:28:45,904
"Paradise lies
at the mother's feet"?

1650
01:28:48,821 --> 01:28:50,653
Because there is no love

1651
01:28:50,654 --> 01:28:52,904
greater than a mother's love
for her child.

1652
01:28:57,071 --> 01:28:59,238
That's why our prayers
are double.

1653
01:29:01,321 --> 01:29:03,904
You know what I pray for
every night?

1654
01:29:06,279 --> 01:29:08,279
I pray for your happiness.

1655
01:29:09,363 --> 01:29:11,654
And the happiness
of all my children.

1656
01:29:14,571 --> 01:29:16,404
That's all that matters.

1657
01:29:25,529 --> 01:29:27,779
You know, I just wanna be
a good son, <i>ammi.</i>

1658
01:29:28,654 --> 01:29:30,321
That's it.

1659
01:29:51,696 --> 01:29:54,112
<i>For your messages, press two.</i>

1660
01:29:54,113 --> 01:29:57,196
<i>Received, 3:34 p.m.</i>

1661
01:29:57,197 --> 01:29:59,529
<i>Hi, Zoe.
Olly and Sam here</i>

1662
01:29:59,530 --> 01:30:00,988
<i>from Big Bull Productions.</i>

1663
01:30:00,989 --> 01:30:02,238
<i>Look, we loved the doc,</i>

1664
01:30:02,239 --> 01:30:04,446
<i>but we've got a problem, okay?
White lens.</i>

1665
01:30:04,447 --> 01:30:06,196
<i>Yeah, diverse subject, great.</i>

1666
01:30:06,197 --> 01:30:08,363
<i>White director,
it's not so great.</i>

1667
01:30:08,364 --> 01:30:10,238
<i>Yeah, so, we're gonna
have to hit pause</i>

1668
01:30:10,239 --> 01:30:11,738
<i>on the project, okay?</i>

1669
01:30:11,739 --> 01:30:12,904
<i>We're really sorry, obviously.</i>

1670
01:30:12,905 --> 01:30:13,988
<i>Really sorry.
Obviously.</i>

1671
01:30:13,989 --> 01:30:15,488
<i>And give us a call
if you want a chat.</i>

1672
01:30:15,489 --> 01:30:16,779
Oh, shit.
<i>Okay. Bye.</i>

1673
01:30:16,780 --> 01:30:19,197
<i>Press two to repeat.</i>

1674
01:30:21,697 --> 01:30:23,196
You shouldn't
leave your knickers

1675
01:30:23,197 --> 01:30:26,030
just lying about on display.

1676
01:30:26,572 --> 01:30:28,446
I don't understand.

1677
01:30:28,447 --> 01:30:31,238
- Why are you all dressed up?
- It's <i>Eid.</i>

1678
01:30:31,239 --> 01:30:32,739
I'm going to the Khans.

1679
01:30:33,989 --> 01:30:35,447
That's good.

1680
01:30:36,530 --> 01:30:38,030
Do you want to come?

1681
01:30:38,739 --> 01:30:39,739
No, thank you.

1682
01:30:42,072 --> 01:30:43,863
I'm the last person

1683
01:30:43,864 --> 01:30:45,155
that they wanna see.

1684
01:30:45,614 --> 01:30:46,780
Anyway, I'm packing.

1685
01:30:48,114 --> 01:30:50,404
- Where are you going?
- Turkey.

1686
01:30:50,405 --> 01:30:51,529
For a break.

1687
01:30:51,530 --> 01:30:54,655
Since everyone hated my film.

1688
01:30:59,322 --> 01:31:01,821
I must just say...

1689
01:31:01,822 --> 01:31:04,364
I do admire your independence.

1690
01:31:08,739 --> 01:31:10,322
And I...

1691
01:31:10,905 --> 01:31:12,115
You're wrong.

1692
01:31:14,406 --> 01:31:17,573
I don't value you less
when you're not with a man.

1693
01:31:19,240 --> 01:31:22,906
And I'm very, very proud
of everything you've achieved.

1694
01:31:25,740 --> 01:31:26,989
But...

1695
01:31:26,990 --> 01:31:29,615
But, nothing counts
before the "but".

1696
01:31:31,323 --> 01:31:33,240
Well, but...

1697
01:31:34,948 --> 01:31:38,115
There's a difference
between independence

1698
01:31:38,865 --> 01:31:40,280
and being so cut off

1699
01:31:40,281 --> 01:31:42,073
that no-one
can get close to you.

1700
01:31:43,823 --> 01:31:46,656
We all need other people.
Even you.

1701
01:31:47,323 --> 01:31:49,865
There's no weakness
in that, Zoe.

1702
01:31:51,323 --> 01:31:52,405
Zahid's right.

1703
01:31:52,406 --> 01:31:54,739
Loneliness is a Western disease

1704
01:31:54,740 --> 01:31:56,739
and it's far more deadly
than cancer.

1705
01:31:56,740 --> 01:31:58,239
The only cure is to allow

1706
01:31:58,240 --> 01:32:01,489
other people to care
about you, and not...

1707
01:32:01,490 --> 01:32:04,448
Not to always push them away.

1708
01:32:10,615 --> 01:32:12,989
They say it takes a village
to raise a child.

1709
01:32:12,990 --> 01:32:14,322
But what about the adults?

1710
01:32:14,323 --> 01:32:18,572
I'd say it takes a village
to sustain an adult.

1711
01:32:18,573 --> 01:32:20,990
And I'm so lucky

1712
01:32:21,323 --> 01:32:24,322
to have found my village

1713
01:32:24,323 --> 01:32:25,948
next door and...

1714
01:32:27,449 --> 01:32:29,365
All I want

1715
01:32:29,366 --> 01:32:31,699
is for you to find yours,
that's all.

1716
01:32:43,491 --> 01:32:44,657
Come here.

1717
01:32:52,949 --> 01:32:55,282
- That was you then.
- That was my phone.

1718
01:32:56,157 --> 01:32:58,406
Saved by the bell.

1719
01:32:58,407 --> 01:33:00,616
- Oh, it's from Kaz.
- That's nice.

1720
01:33:04,532 --> 01:33:05,907
Can I have a biscuit?
Yeah.

1721
01:33:09,532 --> 01:33:11,699
<i>- Do I look nice?
- Yeah, you look great.</i>

1722
01:33:13,157 --> 01:33:14,781
<i>Do you wanna...
Do you wanna...</i>

1723
01:33:14,782 --> 01:33:16,948
<i>Okay, okay. Um...</i>

1724
01:33:16,949 --> 01:33:18,240
<i>Hi.</i>

1725
01:33:18,241 --> 01:33:19,323
<i>Uh...</i>

1726
01:33:19,324 --> 01:33:22,031
<i>I loved your film, Zoe. And...</i>

1727
01:33:22,032 --> 01:33:23,990
<i>I'm sorry if this kind of
ruins your ending,</i>

1728
01:33:23,991 --> 01:33:25,074
<i>but...</i>

1729
01:33:25,866 --> 01:33:28,116
<i>I think it's gonna
make it more truthful.</i>

1730
01:33:32,491 --> 01:33:33,656
<i>Eid Mubarak.</i>

1731
01:33:33,657 --> 01:33:34,657
<i>Eid Mubarak.</i>

1732
01:33:42,950 --> 01:33:44,032
Just get the spoon. Uh...

1733
01:33:44,033 --> 01:33:45,866
No, no, wait, I'll get that...

1734
01:33:45,867 --> 01:33:47,825
- Help me cut.
- What do you want me to do?

1735
01:33:48,950 --> 01:33:50,700
No, no, not like that!

1736
01:33:53,200 --> 01:33:54,825
So festive, as ever!

1737
01:33:56,367 --> 01:33:57,491
<i>Eid Mubarak.</i>

1738
01:33:57,492 --> 01:33:59,824
Don't you look
gorgeous as always.

1739
01:33:59,825 --> 01:34:01,366
I've brought you something
very, very boring.

1740
01:34:01,367 --> 01:34:04,074
- Oh, you needn't have.
- And, erm, Zoe's here.

1741
01:34:04,075 --> 01:34:05,616
Zoe.

1742
01:34:05,617 --> 01:34:06,824
I'm sorry to gatecrash,

1743
01:34:06,825 --> 01:34:09,742
but I really need
to talk to Kaz, please.

1744
01:34:10,367 --> 01:34:11,657
You've been talking quite a lot

1745
01:34:11,658 --> 01:34:14,074
to all my children lately.

1746
01:34:14,075 --> 01:34:15,199
Jalebis.

1747
01:34:15,200 --> 01:34:16,782
I made them especially for you.

1748
01:34:16,783 --> 01:34:18,116
Well, thank you.
It's just you're trying

1749
01:34:18,117 --> 01:34:19,199
to give me diabetes.

1750
01:34:19,200 --> 01:34:20,824
I know you are.

1751
01:34:20,825 --> 01:34:21,907
I'll eat it later.

1752
01:34:21,908 --> 01:34:23,407
Can you just get the...

1753
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:24,450
Mmm.

1754
01:34:30,617 --> 01:34:33,491
How is everything?
Everyone all right?

1755
01:34:33,492 --> 01:34:35,699
Yeah, it's tense.
That's quite a thing.

1756
01:34:35,700 --> 01:34:38,116
I mean, I can't...

1757
01:34:38,117 --> 01:34:40,241
- Where's Maymouna?
- She's not coming.

1758
01:34:40,242 --> 01:34:41,562
What do you mean
she's not coming?

1759
01:34:46,783 --> 01:34:49,824
- Hello, darling. <i>Eid Mubarak.</i>
- Happy <i>Eid.</i>

1760
01:34:49,825 --> 01:34:51,783
You smell lovely.

1761
01:34:55,533 --> 01:34:57,743
Are you okay?
I just saw your email.

1762
01:34:59,159 --> 01:35:01,493
- I'm fine.
- Okay.

1763
01:35:02,076 --> 01:35:03,825
I'm glad you're here.

1764
01:35:03,826 --> 01:35:06,617
Kazim.
Why isn't Maymouna here?

1765
01:35:06,618 --> 01:35:07,784
Is she sick?

1766
01:35:13,159 --> 01:35:15,326
<i>Ammi,</i> Maymouna's not sick.

1767
01:35:22,368 --> 01:35:24,575
Unless you call heartbreak
a sickness.

1768
01:35:24,576 --> 01:35:27,284
What do you mean?

1769
01:35:31,326 --> 01:35:33,576
Turns out our marriage was more

1770
01:35:34,118 --> 01:35:36,700
"insisted" than "assisted".

1771
01:35:36,701 --> 01:35:38,867
That's not possible.

1772
01:35:38,868 --> 01:35:40,033
They're a modern family.

1773
01:35:40,034 --> 01:35:41,658
Everybody was so happy
at the wedding.

1774
01:35:41,659 --> 01:35:43,493
Where is she now?

1775
01:35:44,534 --> 01:35:47,034
She is working up the courage to

1776
01:35:48,118 --> 01:35:50,784
tell her parents we're divorced.

1777
01:35:53,659 --> 01:35:54,701
Divorced?

1778
01:35:55,784 --> 01:35:57,033
What do you mean?
Just like...

1779
01:35:57,034 --> 01:35:59,742
All you have to say is,
"I divorce you,

1780
01:35:59,743 --> 01:36:01,951
"I divorce you, I divorce you".

1781
01:36:02,451 --> 01:36:05,658
Oh, really?
I wish we had that here.

1782
01:36:05,659 --> 01:36:09,492
<i>Beta,</i> triple <i>talaq</i>
is banned in Pakistan

1783
01:36:09,493 --> 01:36:11,159
to stop people
from making rash decisions.

1784
01:36:11,160 --> 01:36:12,743
<i>Ammi,</i> this isn't rash.

1785
01:36:12,744 --> 01:36:15,202
It's... Maymouna was... is...

1786
01:36:15,744 --> 01:36:17,785
in love with someone else.

1787
01:36:20,827 --> 01:36:22,744
Neither of us wants
to pretend any more.

1788
01:36:25,244 --> 01:36:27,951
Okay, since it's a day for

1789
01:36:27,952 --> 01:36:29,034
bombshell disclosures.

1790
01:36:29,035 --> 01:36:29,869
Um, I think we all need

1791
01:36:29,870 --> 01:36:31,994
to try and just be
a bit more honest.

1792
01:36:34,244 --> 01:36:36,369
You may as well all know
that I smoke.

1793
01:36:37,327 --> 01:36:38,909
That's very bad for you.

1794
01:36:38,910 --> 01:36:40,951
And I have done since I was 15.

1795
01:36:40,952 --> 01:36:44,327
But you're a doctor now,
so, not in public.

1796
01:36:44,952 --> 01:36:47,201
I kept asking myself,

1797
01:36:47,202 --> 01:36:48,368
"Why is this grown man

1798
01:36:48,369 --> 01:36:49,910
"always up there
in that treehouse?

1799
01:36:50,869 --> 01:36:52,119
"Does he think he is Tarzan?"

1800
01:36:54,452 --> 01:36:56,034
And I drink sometimes.

1801
01:36:56,035 --> 01:36:59,535
Just some red wine
for your cholesterol.

1802
01:37:00,244 --> 01:37:02,493
Alcohol has some
medicinal value.

1803
01:37:02,494 --> 01:37:03,784
That's a relief.

1804
01:37:03,785 --> 01:37:05,951
Obviously,
I never ever touch pork.

1805
01:37:05,952 --> 01:37:07,534
Of course not.

1806
01:37:07,535 --> 01:37:09,202
You are Muslim, mmm?

1807
01:37:10,660 --> 01:37:13,827
Okay. But there's something
way more important. Um...

1808
01:37:15,160 --> 01:37:16,160
<i>Ammi...</i>

1809
01:37:18,160 --> 01:37:20,909
You always say that <i>Eid</i> is
about family coming together.

1810
01:37:20,910 --> 01:37:21,910
Yes.

1811
01:37:24,994 --> 01:37:27,452
And if Zoe's film
has shown us one thing,

1812
01:37:27,453 --> 01:37:28,786
it's that...

1813
01:37:29,078 --> 01:37:30,327
it's that there's been
an important member

1814
01:37:30,328 --> 01:37:32,578
of our family missing
for too long.

1815
01:37:34,453 --> 01:37:36,120
Too long, <i>ammi jan.</i>

1816
01:37:39,495 --> 01:37:41,745
Just give me one second.

1817
01:37:42,661 --> 01:37:43,661
Sorry.

1818
01:38:49,454 --> 01:38:50,454
<i>Inshallah.</i>

1819
01:38:58,496 --> 01:39:00,078
She needs her <i>nani jan.</i>

1820
01:39:00,079 --> 01:39:01,287
Beautiful.

1821
01:39:02,579 --> 01:39:03,787
Sweetheart.

1822
01:39:04,996 --> 01:39:07,496
<i>Eid Mubarak,</i> David, <i>Eid Mubarak.</i>

1823
01:39:15,579 --> 01:39:17,412
And I need my <i>nani jan.</i>

1824
01:39:42,537 --> 01:39:43,537
Nani Jan.

1825
01:39:47,412 --> 01:39:48,412
Nani Jan.

1826
01:39:51,162 --> 01:39:52,371
Please.

1827
01:40:52,038 --> 01:40:53,162
Oh.

1828
01:40:53,163 --> 01:40:54,496
Where's Zoe gone?

1829
01:40:54,497 --> 01:40:57,037
Is she gone already
without saying goodbye?

1830
01:40:57,038 --> 01:40:58,412
I've spoken to her about that.

1831
01:40:58,413 --> 01:40:59,829
She's halfway
to Constantinople by now,

1832
01:40:59,830 --> 01:41:02,288
- I shouldn't wonder.
- Wait, what?

1833
01:41:04,705 --> 01:41:06,413
Kazim?

1834
01:41:17,664 --> 01:41:19,206
Where have you gone?

1835
01:41:53,748 --> 01:41:54,998
Oi, Rapunzel.

1836
01:41:57,539 --> 01:41:59,206
Let down your hair.

1837
01:41:59,831 --> 01:42:03,039
I'm pretty sure I'm the witch
in this fairy tale.

1838
01:42:31,874 --> 01:42:32,874
Hi.

1839
01:42:34,624 --> 01:42:35,624
Hi.

1840
01:42:39,665 --> 01:42:41,206
It's your turn.

1841
01:42:41,207 --> 01:42:42,582
Yeah. Um...

1842
01:42:45,374 --> 01:42:47,081
I can't speak.

1843
01:42:47,082 --> 01:42:49,749
Okay. Sorry. Um...

1844
01:42:51,040 --> 01:42:53,957
Okay. I'm gonna put myself
on the line here.

1845
01:42:54,957 --> 01:42:56,081
Go on.

1846
01:42:56,082 --> 01:42:59,039
- This isn't easy.
- I know. I know.

1847
01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:00,123
I'm really high up

1848
01:43:00,124 --> 01:43:01,499
- and there's no safety...
- Zoe.

1849
01:43:07,999 --> 01:43:10,832
Would you like to watch
a whole TV series with me?

1850
01:43:16,540 --> 01:43:18,040
Are you sure?

1851
01:43:18,707 --> 01:43:20,457
- Mmm...
- Because we...

1852
01:43:21,415 --> 01:43:23,249
We should take it very...

1853
01:43:23,957 --> 01:43:25,874
- You know, take it slowly.
- Yeah.

1854
01:43:26,290 --> 01:43:28,081
Yeah, like an episode at a time.

1855
01:43:28,082 --> 01:43:30,374
- No bingeing.
- No bingeing.

1856
01:43:33,207 --> 01:43:34,664
Just please don't
forget it this time.

1857
01:43:34,665 --> 01:43:36,540
I never forgot. Never.

1858
01:43:39,791 --> 01:43:41,124
And maybe we could just...

1859
01:43:41,125 --> 01:43:43,957
Like, we could have a break
clause halfway through.

1860
01:43:43,958 --> 01:43:46,000
Always a break clause. Always.

1861
01:43:49,833 --> 01:43:51,708
- I... Just...
- Hmm.

1862
01:44:43,541 --> 01:44:46,040
We couldn't have
arranged it better ourselves.

1863
01:44:46,041 --> 01:44:47,083
<i>Mashallah!</i>

1864
01:44:47,916 --> 01:44:49,666
That means, "Thank God".

1865
01:44:52,958 --> 01:44:54,250
<i>Ammi jan</i> always said

1866
01:44:54,251 --> 01:44:55,916
this would happen
if we came here,

1867
01:44:55,917 --> 01:44:57,876
and he went
to a mixed university.

1868
01:44:58,501 --> 01:45:00,667
Can't be expected to bowl
a googly every time.

1869
01:45:01,709 --> 01:45:03,416
So, we moved out.

1870
01:45:03,417 --> 01:45:04,958
Only down the road
to number nine.

1871
01:45:04,959 --> 01:45:07,833
Except, er, we call it nine
and three quarters.

1872
01:45:07,834 --> 01:45:09,376
Harry Potter!

1873
01:45:10,417 --> 01:45:12,375
David's getting
to know the family.

1874
01:45:12,376 --> 01:45:15,417
He's even learning Urdu
so he can understand Nani Jan.

1875
01:45:16,084 --> 01:45:18,416
Poor little zebra,

1876
01:45:18,417 --> 01:45:20,501
never knowing
what colour she is.

1877
01:45:20,834 --> 01:45:23,083
It's called
mixed heritage, Nani Jan.

1878
01:45:23,084 --> 01:45:24,626
Mixed heritage?

1879
01:45:25,667 --> 01:45:28,167
I don't know
what you were expecting.

1880
01:45:28,542 --> 01:45:30,376
My head on a stick?

1881
01:45:30,834 --> 01:45:33,333
I'm fine.

1882
01:45:33,334 --> 01:45:35,125
I am graduated.

1883
01:45:35,126 --> 01:45:37,083
I'm a human rights lawyer.

1884
01:45:37,084 --> 01:45:39,164
And my parents are super proud.