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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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[TV static drones]
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[bright tone]
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- This is the new me
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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that was birthed in isolation,
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built on growth,
refined through hurt,
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curated from introspection,
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and perfected by healing.
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The old me met the new me
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and became a whole me.
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[cheers and applause]
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[Afrobeat music playing]
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♪ ♪
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[music stops]
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[cheers and applause]
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LA, what's going on?
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[cheers and applause continue]
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Oh, I hope y'all came
for a comedy show.
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Yeah, boy.
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Y'all gonna gas me tonight.
I love it!
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Yo, this is
my second HBO special.
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We out here, baby!
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[cheers and applause]
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[laughs]
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So it looks like COVID is over.
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Is that what's going on?
Is COVID over?
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- No.
- Yeah.
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- Either it's over,
or we just treating it
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like it's the 24th season
of "Grey's Anatomy."
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You're like,
"This show is still poppin'?"
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I guess. I don't know.
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You must have a good job.
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She said, "I don't care
what the mask mandate is,
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but I have my mask on."
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That woman has health insurance
she cares about.
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The rest of y'all just risking
it all, raw-doggin' air.
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She is like, "No, no. Mm-mm.
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They told me I can't work
from home no more."
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It was a lot of learning
and unlearning for me
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in the pandemic.
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Y'all?
audience: Yeah.
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- I learned that...
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I ain't had no hobbies.
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'Cause that was a thing!
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In the pandemic, everybody
was baking bread for no reason.
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Just the yeast industry
was on and popping.
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Just ah, ah...
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Y'all was coloring...
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with your big age,
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buying five packs
of coloring books from Amazon.
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200 packs of crayons.
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There are not that many colors.
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What is seal brown, huh?
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Are we talking the animal
or the singer?
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Which one?
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I was hatin', though,
'cause I ain't have no hobbies.
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I can't figure--
I'm a child of immigrants.
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My only hobbies growing up
were just wash dishes,
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clean my room,
and serve my elders.
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My hobbies were chores, y'all.
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That's what I'm trying
to tell y'all.
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My inner child was struggling.
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So I went to my therapist.
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I was like,
"Yo, I'm really struggling."
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She was like,
"Okay, let's go deeper.
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"All right.
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What do you do for fun?"
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I was like, "Um, I work."
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She was like,
"No, no, no, no, no.
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"Let's, like, really unpack it.
What brings you joy?"
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Nigga, not being broke.
[laughs]
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Having enough money
to afford your services.
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What?
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Don't your checks clear?
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I started a new form of therapy
in the pandemic.
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EMDR.
[cheering]
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Yes? Okay, my E--
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Okay, my nervous system--
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The rest of these hos
just out here talking.
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They just--
[laughs]
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They're like,
"What? What is that?
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Is that a new thing? Is that--"
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No, EMDR.
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'Cause talk therapy--
y'all are so smart.
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I smell the degrees
in this room.
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Y'all are brilliant.
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Y'all the main ones
that show up to talk therapy
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day one
with a PowerPoint presentation.
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Like, "All right, Doc."
[clicks tongue]
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"Here are my triggers
and my traumas.
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"It started when I was six.
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"Ugh, matter of fact,
I blame my dad.
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"Why am I here? [laughs]
I'm Gucci.
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"You know,
what are your issues, Doc?
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Let me help you out."
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But EMDR shuts all that down.
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It takes away the logic,
and it deals
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with your, you know,
your nervous system.
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[calming music]
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- In EMDR, we help
to free the nervous system
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of past messaging
that keeps us in trauma.
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Continue tapping and tell me
what image comes to mind
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when you think
of the word fear.
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- Um, me in the Chipotle line
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and not having enough money
to add guac.
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- Okay, that sounds like a fear
of lack.
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Where do you feel that
in your body?
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- Oh, my left leg
is, like, throbbing.
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- Okay.
Open your eyes
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and tell me
what else you noticed
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while you were in the line.
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- I mean, I was starting
to feel a little,
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like, inadequate.
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- Let's see if we can learn
a little bit more
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about that pain point.
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- When I was eight,
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I spent days making
this Mother's Day gift.
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But then my brother
just laughed at me,
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so I guess from that point,
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I decided
that in order to be accepted,
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I just always had to do better.
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- Is that a value you believe
an eight-year-old
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could even sustain?
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- A Nigerian one, yep.
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- Yes.
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Yours are
a very resilient people.
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- I mean, you say that
like it's a good thing,
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but it sound like a bad thing.
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- Do you see
that from a very early age,
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you adopted a habit
of performative love?
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- How else was I supposed
to be loved
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if I wasn't working for it?
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- Okay, let me ask.
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[echoing]
When was the last time
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you truly believed
you were enough?
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- [sighs]
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'Cause the body don't lie.
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Your trauma's trapped
in your body.
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So, fellas, when you be like,
"Man, I don't even care
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about them, fam.
I don't even care!"
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You care so much.
You care so much.
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All that trauma,
it's in your throat.
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It's in your throat.
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You have no range of motion,
just none.
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It's just, "I don't even care."
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It's right here.
It's just--release it.
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And, ladies, we do it, too.
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We do it--
"I will never cry for him.
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He will never see these tears.
No, I'm not gonna cry."
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Let it out. Let it out.
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It's in your thigh meat.
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That's just all trapped
in your thigh meat.
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It was wild. It was wild.
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I live with--
My roommate Ester discovered
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that she had hobbies
in the pandemic.
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Now I got to break it down.
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Me and Ester have lived
together since 2013.
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That's a long time.
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I'm talking, like,
scruggle years, okay?
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It's pre-"Insecure,"
baby, okay?
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This is when we was, you know,
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splittin' salads
that didn't have no protein,
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so it was just lettuce, y'all.
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So she was a aspiring writer,
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and obviously
I was a aspiring entertainer.
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And when we met--
how we became roommates,
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it was by accident, right?
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'Cause one day she was like,
"Oh, I got to go find
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a hostel to stay at."
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And I was like, "Girl,
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you don't have
to live like this."
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'Cause she said "hostel."
I heard "brothel."
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[laughs] Okay?
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I was like, "You don't have
to sell your body for scrips.
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You don't have to..."
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So, in 2019, I bought my house,
and I was like,
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"Ester... [laughs]
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You coming with
'cause, um, property tax."
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It's real. It's real.
[laughs]
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It'll get you.
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And in the pandemic,
Ester discovered
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that her hobby was cooking.
- Ooh!
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- And I said,
"Let the Lord use you."
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Shit.
[speaks Nigerian dialect]
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Okay, 'cause pre-pandemic,
we was on that LA diet,
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that kale, quinoa,
and kombucha.
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Y'all know what it is.
- Yeah!
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- Pandemic hit,
she was like,
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"All right, so I'm thinking
of making a lobster tail,
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"but I want to do, like,
a special jerk seasoning,
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and I want to make, like,
a bread pudding with rum."
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I said, "You know what?
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"You've been working hard.
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"Mortgage is on me
this month, okay?
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I got us."
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[laughs]
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Three months in,
this ho stopped cooking
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'cause she discovered
she got another hobby.
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She started hiking.
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And I was like, "No, no. Mm-mm.
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"You sold me on a dream, okay?"
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Black, Black, no trade-backs.
[laughs]
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"Go ahead.
You owe me some back rent.
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Stop this."
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00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,488
But I had to find my hobby.
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I had to find it
'cause I felt left out.
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I was like, "Yo,
my inner child is jacked up."
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Felt left out,
so I discovered tennis.
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I know I said that very
Christopher Columbus-like.
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I didn't discover it.
It was always around.
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But I found it for myself,
and I was gassed.
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00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,551
Okay, I went
and bought Serena's shoes.
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I don't know what I thought
it was gonna do for me,
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but I was like, "Why not?"
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Bought the shoes, got a racket.
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Did you know you have
to string your own racket?
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Like, if it's the--yeah, 'cause
y'all are not professionals.
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00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,356
[laughs]
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00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,609
And that's what happens, okay?
[laughs]
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I had to get my racket strung.
I was ready.
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00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,947
I got
a ten-week training session
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00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,907
with a private coach--
I was ready.
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00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,993
Week three...
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a ho gets sciatica.
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00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,541
Do you know what sciatica is?
audience: Yes.
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00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,127
- It is
the most excruciating pain
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00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,463
that you will ever experience.
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It was so bad, like,
for the first time in my life--
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00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,176
I'm not even gonna lie
to y'all--
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00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,929
I considered cocaine.
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00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,639
I don't even know
if it's a remedy,
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00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:17,974
but I was willing to try.
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00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,517
I'm like, "I don't know.
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00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,020
I don't... [laughs]
How did we get here?"
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00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,897
[laughs]
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00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,941
And the worst part about pain
is that it knows
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00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,401
when you're trying
to get rid of it.
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00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,444
Pain, it's smart, 'cause you
wake up in the morning,
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you're like, "I can't move.
241
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,613
"Can someone please
just help me?
242
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,156
Like, open the door?
[whines]"
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00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,616
But the minute
your car pulls
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00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,118
into that hospital parking lot,
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00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,288
just the minute it just,
skrrrt,
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00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,123
pain be like,
"Oh, what's going on over here?
247
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,791
"What's going on over here?
248
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,668
"You see where she at?
What is that, Cedars-Sinai?
249
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,086
"Is that Cedars-Sinai?
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
250
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,838
"Chill, chill, chill.
Everybody, chill, chill.
251
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,172
Relax, relax."
252
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,758
All of a sudden, you're like,
253
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,885
"Hold on. What the"--
254
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:59,181
"No, no, no.
255
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,891
"Keep that same 'painergy.'
256
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:04,020
Keep that
same 'painergy,' fam!"
257
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,981
You get to the doctor's office,
and you real mad
258
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,482
'cause they give you,
"On a scale of one to ten."
259
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,151
You're like,
"It was a ten, fam!
260
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,277
"Could you just, like, push me?
261
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,070
"No, if you push me,
it'll reactivate.
262
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,823
No, can you just--"
263
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,366
So he's like,
"So what you're saying
264
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,659
is that the pain comes
and goes?"
265
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:22,163
I'm like, "No, it only goes
when I come here!"
266
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,998
Stupid.
267
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,334
So I had to find another hobby.
268
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,210
Started home renovations.
269
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,712
But, yeah.
270
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,922
Put a gym in my house.
audience: Ooh.
271
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:35,301
- [laughs] Not for me.
Oh, my God, no.
272
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,886
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
273
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,763
It was gonna be
my nigga magnet.
274
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,684
I had a plan.
275
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,061
[laughs]
276
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,645
I had a heavy bag, a speed bag.
277
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,939
I have never done this.
Bap, bap, bap, bap.
278
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,524
But it's all in there
because, you know,
279
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,110
the pandemic,
dudes was losing their minds.
280
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,487
When the gyms closed down,
281
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,447
they were just gaining weight
282
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,032
and growing beards
that didn't connect.
283
00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,867
It was weird.
284
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,744
So random.
285
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,372
And dudes didn't even realize
there was a pandemic happening
286
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,750
until the NBA shut down.
287
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,710
20,000 people had died,
288
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,880
but "Oh, my God,
there's no more NBA.
289
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,340
"LeBron and them cannot play.
290
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,925
"Do you believe this?
291
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,260
"This is getting serious.
292
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,138
"I was watching CNN.
They say it's a pandemic.
293
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,598
"Yeah, the pand--
We got to mask up.
294
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:26,769
"This LeBron and them cannot--
no dribbling, nothing.
295
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,104
Every stadium shut down."
296
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,605
[laughs]
It's just...
297
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:30,856
So I had a plan.
298
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:35,903
I was gonna park myself outside
every Crunch,
299
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,739
every Equinox,
300
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,908
every Planet Fitness, just--
301
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:42,618
[clears throat]
And wait.
302
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,750
"Oh, my God, it's closed."
303
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,461
[chuckles]
304
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,672
"They didn't send you no email,
no text, nothing?
305
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,507
"Damn.
306
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,135
"It's wild.
307
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,887
"So, like,
what is you gonna do, though?
308
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,601
"I mean--I mean,
I know a place.
309
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,644
Let's talk about this
310
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:09,979
three-month membership,
though."
311
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,772
[laughs oddly]
312
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,108
That's my basic-girl laugh.
313
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,610
We all--every lady
in here got a basic-girl laugh.
314
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,237
When some dude tells you
you're cute, you're like,
315
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,655
"Oh, my God, stop.
You think I'm cute?
316
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:22,158
"You play too much."
[laughs oddly]
317
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,326
"Stop."
[laughs oddly]
318
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,079
"How cute."
319
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,831
[laughs]
320
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,292
But, yeah, man, lots
of learning and unlearning.
321
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:34,211
I had to find
a new relationship
322
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,338
with achievement.
323
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,257
You know?
'Cause God told me.
324
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,676
God told me. He said,
"What got you to success
325
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:43,512
will not sustain you in it."
326
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,808
And I was like,
"Nigga, what that mean, though?
327
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:51,187
Stop speaking to me
in parables."
328
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,106
But I had to find balance
in my Nigerianess.
329
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,983
I do, I did,
and I love being Nigerian.
330
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,485
There's a lot of dope things
about--
331
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,069
amazing about being Nigerian.
332
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,363
You know, we have Afrobeats.
333
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,032
Right? Y'all saw.
334
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,160
[speaks Nigerian dialect]
We have our food.
335
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,621
Our high-quality film industry.
336
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:11,665
[laughter]
337
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,711
Ah.
338
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:18,714
Can't win 'em all.
[laughs]
339
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,008
No, but I had
to find a new relationship
340
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,593
with being Nigerian
because, you know,
341
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,719
we have this thing.
342
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:26,138
We always have to be perfect.
343
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,848
Got to be great out the gate
all the time.
344
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:32,353
[speaks Nigerian dialect]
But I'm staying maybe second?
345
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,437
You know?
346
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,147
Had to undo
perfectionism, y'all.
347
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,024
I remember when I was five...
348
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:39,360
[chuckles]
I went to ballet.
349
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:42,571
Everybody else is just trying
to get into first position.
350
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,991
My father on the side,
"Stand on your toes!
351
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,369
"No, stand on your toe--
on your toe!
352
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,495
Pirouettes."
353
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,372
I'm like, "What?"
354
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,165
"The person that can do this,
do they have three legs?
355
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,210
Stand on your toes!"
356
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,920
You're not even given
an opportunity
357
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,380
to see if you like ballet.
358
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,758
Now I got to be
Misty Copeland. What?
359
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:03,759
[chuckles]
360
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:06,136
And I remember
my very first time
361
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,930
doing an hour set.
362
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,391
It happened by mistake, okay?
363
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:12,685
I was in Atlanta,
and I hit up my agent, Heidi,
364
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,019
and I was like, "Hey, Heidi.
365
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,771
"I'm trying to do,
like, 15, 20 minutes.
366
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:16,939
See if you can get me a spot."
367
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:17,940
She was like,
"All right, Yvonne.
368
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,441
"Let me see what I can do.
369
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,527
I'll be right back."
[laughs oddly]
370
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,573
She calls back.
She's like, "Great news.
371
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,449
I got you
your first headlining."
372
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,577
I said, "Ooh.
373
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:32,413
"Heidi, that is not
at all what we discussed...
374
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,914
at all, okay?"
375
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:34,999
'Cause I was scared.
376
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,959
I was like, "What do you mean
my first headline?
377
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,460
I just wanted to do a couple
of minutes."
378
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,630
And she said something
that changed the way I think.
379
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,674
She was like, "Yvonne,
380
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:46,885
either way,
we're gonna learn something."
381
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,348
If you haven't deduced,
382
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,143
Heidi is
of the Caucasian persuasion.
383
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,853
- It tracks.
- Mm-hmm.
384
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:59,106
She said, "It tracks."
[laughs]
385
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,191
And she was like, "Either way,
we're gonna figure out
386
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,110
"if you have it
or how much more further
387
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:06,822
"you have to go,
so let's just see.
388
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,073
Let's just see."
389
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:11,619
White people love
a "let's just see."
390
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,788
That is y'all's ministry, okay?
391
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,165
Y'all love a "let's just see."
392
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,124
I'm a child of immigrants.
393
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,834
I didn't grow up
with "let's just see."
394
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:19,877
I grew up with...
395
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,796
[Nigerian accent]
"You better be.
396
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,882
"All the money I'm spending
on your education,
397
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,635
you better be number one."
398
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,136
Y'all love a "let's just see."
399
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,680
"Honey,
it's Rebecca's first date.
400
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,848
Should we set a curfew?"
401
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,892
Oh, I don't know.
402
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,061
I trust our daughter.
403
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:40,189
So let's just see.
404
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,359
And besides,
mistakes build character.
405
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,526
My house...
406
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,655
"You better be back
by 8:00 p.m."
407
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,073
But, Dad, the date starts
at 7:00.
408
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:52,451
"You better eat fast."
409
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,162
This is a sham.
410
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,830
I had to learn--
411
00:15:56,914 --> 00:16:00,042
I had to learn to separate
my work from my worth.
412
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,877
- Oh.
- Ooh, y'all went to church.
413
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,004
Come on back, baby.
Come on back. It's okay.
414
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,381
This is me.
[laughs]
415
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,675
I'm talking about me.
416
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,343
"Mm, wait, hold on.
417
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,886
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
418
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,055
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
419
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,224
[cheers and applause]
420
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,266
'Cause it's wild, 'cause even
421
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,060
the cultural conditioning
of things.
422
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,104
Nigerians don't even call you
by your name.
423
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,022
They call you
by your profession.
424
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,024
They're like, "My daughter,
the pharmacist,
425
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,360
"she will be a good match
for your son, the engineer.
426
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,861
Mm-hmm, yes."
427
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,822
And you keep working
'cause you want them to be--
428
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,198
you want to be the one
they brag about.
429
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,574
Nobody wants to be the one
that they're like,
430
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,034
"No, not the one without a job.
431
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,202
"That one is a foolish goat.
432
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,829
"Not that one.
433
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:39,748
I said the engineer."
434
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,751
But it keeps you chained.
It keeps you just cycling.
435
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,294
It keeps you cycling.
436
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,046
And it's not bad
to have achievement,
437
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,423
but, like, what else?
438
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,467
I ask myself like,
"Who am I without the show?"
439
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,886
Enough. That's what it is.
I'm enough.
440
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,139
[cheers and applause]
441
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,600
But it sounds good.
It sounds good.
442
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,477
But a lot of this is hard.
443
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,438
If you see my therapist driving
a Porsche,
444
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,857
that's my car, okay?
[laughs]
445
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,443
My sessions finance half
of that, okay?
446
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,404
It's my lease.
447
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,948
But, no, I had to...
448
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:16,160
just release
"hustle and grind" culture.
449
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,953
Pick up ease and flow.
450
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,538
- Yes.
- [chuckles] I swear--
451
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:23,208
this is
the First Baptist Church...
452
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,378
of downtown LA.
453
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,838
But these songs don't help.
454
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:29,631
These songs are--"I've been
grinding all my life,
455
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,300
just grinding all my life."
456
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,678
Grinding all your life?
457
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,139
When do you sleep?
458
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,808
We feed into it.
I'm not gonna lie.
459
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,144
I fed into it.
I thought I was lazy.
460
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,480
Pandemic hit,
there was nothing to do!
461
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,982
Nothing to do--I was like,
"I should be doing something."
462
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,319
Hit up my therapist, and
I was like, "I just feel lazy."
463
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,862
She was like,
"Is it that you're lazy,
464
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,947
"or is your body just finally
at rest
465
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,493
after a decade's worth
of work?"
466
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,454
And I was like, "Hey, Doc,
can you put that in writing
467
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,331
to send to my mama 'cause..."
468
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,124
[laughs]
"She'll hear it from you.
469
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,210
She's not gonna hear it
from me."
470
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:09,338
Like, growing up, I remember,
like, just even asking them
471
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,006
for stuff was, like--
472
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,509
like a serious episode
of "Shark Tank."
473
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,844
- On this episode
of "Tiger's Nest,"
474
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,680
we have Necca Oforro,
a 25-year-old
475
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,517
with a fairly basic proposal
for her parents.
476
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,353
It's never worked before,
but let's see how this goes.
477
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,648
- Uh, Mom, Dad, and--
478
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:31,068
Auntie Shola.
- My dear, don't mind me, oh.
479
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,654
I only came to visit
your parents--that's all.
480
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,322
Feel free. Be you. Hello.
481
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,033
- [sighs]
Well, as you both know,
482
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,868
I have been a stellar daughter.
483
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,328
I have five degrees
484
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:44,122
and an exorbitant amount
of debt to show for it.
485
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,708
And that is why I'm here
asking you guys
486
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,711
for a $6,000 investment
for my first apartment.
487
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,213
- You want to move out?
488
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,550
Well, what would Nigerian
community say about me, huh?
489
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,134
They will say
that I have allowed my daughter
490
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,261
to gallivant the streets.
491
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,220
- I don't know--
- Huh?
492
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,513
- I don't know
who's saying that,
493
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:00,848
but that's the point
of the ask--
494
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,933
so that I don't end up
on the streets.
495
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:03,892
- [speaks native language]
496
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,185
What's wrong
with our own house?
497
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,562
I thought you liked
watching CNN
498
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,480
and "Forensic Files"
with me for hours.
499
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,732
- While that has been
absolutely titillating content,
500
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,861
Dad, I think it's just time
for me to spread my wings.
501
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,362
[sewing machine whirring]
502
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,822
- What else
are you spreading, eh?
503
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,699
The last time somebody wanted
those kind of freedoms,
504
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,868
that was Mrs. Veronica's
daughter, Rebecca.
505
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,035
She, too, she left the house
506
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,538
and came back with two sets
of twins with no father
507
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,207
because she also wanted
to spread her wings.
508
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,085
[laughs]
Hello?
509
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:31,420
♪ Yes ♪
510
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,088
♪ Uh-huh ♪
511
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,133
♪ Okay ♪
512
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,426
♪ Always ♪
513
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,595
♪ With me ♪
514
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,138
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
515
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,432
- ♪ Shady Shola ♪
516
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,434
- Necca...
[Necca sighs]
517
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,977
Tell us the truth.
518
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,812
Are you moving out
because you're pregnant?
519
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,397
- No.
- Prostitute?
520
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,065
- No.
- Pregnant prostitute?
521
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,400
- Mom, Dad,
what are you guys doing?
522
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,737
Listen, I don't know
why this is such a big deal.
523
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,238
I have...
- It's a big deal.
524
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,240
- Literally been
the good Nigerian girl.
525
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,533
I don't do drugs.
- Wait.
526
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,328
So you want us to be happy
because you're not doing drugs?
527
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,538
Huh? If you like do all
the drugs now,
528
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,123
there's marijuana,
there's cocaine,
529
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,834
there's heroin--do all,
if you like overdose and die.
530
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,669
Look, please keep your head
in one place.
531
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,004
- Okay.
- My daughter,
532
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,924
you know it is dangerous
for a single woman on her own.
533
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,092
Where exactly will you live?
- Well, I'm glad you asked.
534
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,637
Okay, I am--
Ha ha.
535
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,932
I have found a spacious
two-bedroom apartment
536
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,017
in a very lovely neighborhood,
537
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,810
and it even comes
with a dishwasher.
538
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,687
- Come on, dishes do not wash.
539
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,940
Where did I go wrong?
[speaking native language]
540
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,191
What is this?
541
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,276
- And to offset the cost
542
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,445
and to provide
additional safety,
543
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:42,115
I've also found a roommate.
544
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,408
- Eh? Roommate?
545
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,202
Is he also begging for money?
546
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,204
- A he? What is his GPA?
547
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,622
Where is his parents from?
548
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:49,706
- Does he believe in God?
549
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,458
- I'm sure I will find out
all of this,
550
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:52,793
plus her zodiac sign.
551
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,169
- Zodiac! Ah!
552
00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:55,504
That means
she's into witchcraft.
553
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,047
Everybody, save yourself.
I'm out.
554
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,006
- You were never in!
555
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,676
[gently]
You were never in, so...
556
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:01,927
Mom? Dad?
557
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:05,430
- I will offer you $4,000,
558
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,391
but you will give us a key,
559
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,476
and you will give us access
to the security cameras
560
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,686
in the unit.
561
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,896
- That's definitely an invasion
of privacy.
562
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,690
- No, that is not an invasion
of privacy.
563
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,651
It is just like that time
that I had to remove the door
564
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,820
of your room when that boy came
to the house,
565
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:20,821
kissing my daughter--
what's his name?
566
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:21,989
- Jeremy.
- Jeremy.
567
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,865
- Or Jeremiah, one of those.
- Jeremy, that's it.
568
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,368
- Okay, well,
that was your offer.
569
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,911
Mom?
570
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,997
- I can offer you $5,000.
571
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,500
- Which money?
- I said $5,000.
572
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,752
But you must come home
every weekend
573
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,087
and be cooking with me.
574
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,006
- Mm.
- And if anybody ask,
575
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,590
you're living at home with me.
576
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,050
- So you want me to lie?
577
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,385
- Are you calling me a liar?
578
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,886
- You just--
- Are you calling me--
579
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,638
- Hold on, hold on.
- What's wrong with this girl?
580
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,641
- These children, they have
no respect for their elders.
581
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,018
After they will...
[speaking native language]
582
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,186
Their therapist and tell them
that it is all your fault.
583
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,396
- I thought you were out.
- You see?
584
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,356
All these children,
no respect at all.
585
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,317
They have no respect. None.
586
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,902
Oh, my glasses is there.
587
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,696
- Mom, Dad!
588
00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,698
- All right, you can move out.
589
00:22:04,781 --> 00:22:05,782
You have our blessing.
590
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,035
- Oh, okay, good. Thank you.
591
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,536
- But not our money.
- What?
592
00:22:09,619 --> 00:22:10,829
What the hell?
Look, you know what?
593
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,789
At this point, I might as well
just become a prostitute
594
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,708
'cause that's--I don't know.
- A prostitute.
595
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:16,251
[overlapping chatter]
596
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:17,419
- [crying] A prostitute.
597
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,088
- Hey!
[speaking native language]
598
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,467
- You see? I knew it.
599
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:27,554
- My mom is nervous that all
my sessions are about her.
600
00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:30,307
"So you're just telling
the therapist it was my fault?
601
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:33,435
Is that what you're doing?
It was my fault, eh?"
602
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,562
Yes, it was! Wasn't it?
603
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:36,938
[laughs]
604
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,900
Who else is to blame?
605
00:22:39,983 --> 00:22:42,486
And she'd go, "I was just doing
the best I can!"
606
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:43,945
It's in her throat.
It's in her throat.
607
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,034
I hate when I meet people
608
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:50,994
and they be like,
"I'm good on therapy.
609
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:53,205
I don't even need it.
I'm good on it."
610
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:54,873
[sighs]
611
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:57,751
You're a Black person
in America, fam.
612
00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,836
Okay?
[cheers and applause]
613
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:04,007
You most definitely
need therapy.
614
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,634
Matter of fact,
it should be free
615
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:08,678
and just mandated
every Juneteenth.
616
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,972
Just coupons.
617
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,100
40 acres and a session.
618
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:15,977
[giggles]
619
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:17,187
I need
a Black therapist, though.
620
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,313
I've only ever had
a Black therapist.
621
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,314
That--that's it.
622
00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:22,526
[cheers and applause]
623
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:23,819
I say "nigga" too much,
624
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,113
and I don't want to have
to unpack that.
625
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:27,614
You know what I'm saying?
626
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:29,449
I just want to--
it is what it is.
627
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,493
That nigga right there
is trash.
628
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:34,121
No, no, there's no historical--
no, no.
629
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,622
Mm-mm, I said what I said.
Mm-hmm.
630
00:23:35,705 --> 00:23:37,541
Thank you.
[laughs oddly]
631
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:40,836
I had to fire three therapists
in the pandemic.
632
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,255
'Cause it's like dating.
It's not one size fits all.
633
00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:45,799
You got to find your person.
634
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:47,425
The first dude,
635
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,678
I had to get rid of him
'cause he was--
636
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:52,222
he was too empathetic,
you know?
637
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:54,683
He was like, "Yvonne"...
638
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:57,352
[sighs]
639
00:23:57,435 --> 00:24:00,522
"How are you?"
640
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:04,609
I was like, "I was fine.
641
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,862
Should I not be?"
642
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,864
Just like, "I just...
643
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,032
I know. I just"...
644
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,367
[sighs] "I know."
645
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:14,286
I was like, "I don't know
what you know,
646
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:16,288
but I feel like I should go,
okay?"
647
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,081
The second therapist,
648
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:22,335
she told me to be
a little bit more messy.
649
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:24,254
And I was like, "Mm, um,
650
00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:26,631
don't think
that's really good advice."
651
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:28,216
The third therapist,
652
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,510
he had to go because...
653
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,597
he just laughed too hard
at my jokes.
654
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,223
And I wasn't even trying
to be funny.
655
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:38,560
Like, I don't even know
if, like, subconsciously
656
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:41,354
I'm using humor as the method
of deflection.
657
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:42,314
But here he go.
658
00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:44,399
His shoulders
are activated, like...
659
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:50,071
I was like,
"Is this fool Harlem Shaking?"
660
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,573
[chuckles] "That's hysterical."
661
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:53,200
No, it's not. I'm in pain.
662
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,285
What are you doing?
663
00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:56,494
He had the nerve to be like,
664
00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:57,746
"Well, that's all the time
we have."
665
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,456
The hell it is.
666
00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:02,918
I had to pause for laughter.
You owe me six minutes, Doc.
667
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:06,087
[scoffs]
Reclaiming my time.
668
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,090
[cheers and applause]
669
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,509
He's making it hard
for the next chick
670
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,386
that I got with
'cause I was like--
671
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,138
At the intake,
I was like, "Hey, sis.
672
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,098
Can you, like, just, like,
not laugh at me?"
673
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,975
She was like, "Oh, my God.
674
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:22,103
Is this a trigger
from your childhood?"
675
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,522
I was like, "Nah,
it's a trigger from last week.
676
00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:26,733
This nigga
just kept laughing at me."
677
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:29,236
But every once in a while,
I see that she catches herself.
678
00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:33,240
So she be like...
[laughs, coughs] "Oh, mm, mm.
679
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:34,574
"That is interesting.
680
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:37,369
"That is--
it's very interesting.
681
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,621
Yeah."
682
00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,456
And we realized
who we do not miss
683
00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:43,500
in the pandemic, didn't we?
- Lord.
684
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:46,962
- We--[laughs]
Brother, are you okay?
685
00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:48,255
What's your name, fam?
- Devon.
686
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,256
- Devon?
- Yeah.
687
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:52,300
- What happened to you?
[laughter]
688
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,469
[laughs] But we realized
who we don't miss.
689
00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:57,472
Yo, check this out.
We had nothing but time.
690
00:25:57,555 --> 00:26:00,517
Just tick-itty tock, tock time.
691
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,019
And still--I mean,
we had so much time,
692
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,648
we finished TV.
693
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:10,527
Netflix wasn't even asking,
"Are you still watching?"
694
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:13,321
They were like,
"There's nothing left!
695
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:16,366
Please go color!"
696
00:26:16,449 --> 00:26:18,285
And still,
with all the time we had left,
697
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,954
still without fail...
698
00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:23,790
whenever
that one number would call,
699
00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,001
we'd look at the phone like...
[clicks tongue]
700
00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,044
"I ain't got time for this."
701
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,504
We had all the time
in the world.
702
00:26:29,587 --> 00:26:32,215
We're like, "But not for them."
703
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:35,302
You got to save them
in your phone like,
704
00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:38,388
"Not today, not ever."
705
00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:42,225
I have this weird thing
where I save people in my phone
706
00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:43,852
like how I first met them.
707
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,854
- Yes, yes, yes.
708
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:48,690
- You too?
[laughs]
709
00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:51,151
I just think--like, so, like,
it's weird.
710
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:53,111
So, like, if I just met you,
Devon...
711
00:26:53,194 --> 00:26:54,321
- Oh.
- [laughs]
712
00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:57,907
- I would be like "Devon,
comedy show, goin' through it."
713
00:26:57,991 --> 00:27:01,411
[laughter and applause]
714
00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:04,372
I know exactly who he is.
715
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,124
I have a friend saved
in my phone
716
00:27:06,207 --> 00:27:10,712
as "Rachelle,
red lip, Liberia."
717
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,255
She grabbed my phone
to send herself a picture,
718
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:15,508
and she was like, "Is this how
you still have me saved?"
719
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,718
I was like, "Yeah."
720
00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:20,847
She was like, "We've been
friends for 12 years."
721
00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:24,934
It's like--I mean, "Were you
not in Liberia, though?
722
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:27,562
The red lip was poppin'.
What do you want from me?"
723
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:29,356
[laughs]
724
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:33,943
I got a dude
saved in my phone as...
725
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:39,032
"Thiiiiiiiis Nigga."
726
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:42,702
With all them I's.
727
00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:45,538
Just "Thiiiiiiiis"...
728
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,415
all: Nigga.
729
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,209
- And, ladies,
it would be so easy
730
00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:50,335
to delete it.
731
00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:51,961
It would be so easy
to delete the phone,
732
00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:53,588
block the number.
733
00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:55,423
But why?
734
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:59,969
We don't.
We save it for the story.
735
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:02,263
In the off chance
736
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:07,102
that "Thiiiiiiiis Nigga" calls?
737
00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,812
What?
738
00:28:08,895 --> 00:28:14,567
We want to be able
to be like, "Girl!
739
00:28:14,651 --> 00:28:18,405
Guess who called me today."
740
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:22,409
Thiiiiiiiis..."
all: Nigga.
741
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,245
[scattered cheers and applause]
742
00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:26,246
We don't even--
743
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:28,039
It could be a butt-dial.
We don't care.
744
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:30,583
Guess he's still thinking
about me!
745
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:38,967
Hmm. I lost some friends
in the pandemic.
746
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,760
Actually, some friends lost me.
747
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:43,221
[laughs]
748
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:50,395
'Cause you got
to remind yourself
749
00:28:50,478 --> 00:28:52,355
that you are somebody, too.
audience: Yes.
750
00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,149
- But I was trying
to do things differently.
751
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:55,775
I was trying
to do things differently
752
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,402
than what was modeled
for me growing up.
753
00:28:57,485 --> 00:28:59,654
'Cause growing up,
754
00:28:59,737 --> 00:29:03,992
Nigerians, we don't really do
conflict resolution well.
755
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:08,371
We've never met a conflict
we actually wanted to resolve.
756
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:11,624
[chuckles] Nah, what we like
to do--we banish.
757
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:14,836
Nigerians love a banish.
758
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:16,337
Yeah?
Any Nigerians in here?
759
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,339
[cheers and applause]
Yeah, so y'all already know.
760
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:21,718
Your mom be like, "I will
never, ever, ever, ever, ever
761
00:29:21,801 --> 00:29:23,052
"talk to that woman again,
never, uh-uh.
762
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,180
"True to God,
I will never talk to her.
763
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:27,640
If you see me talking to her,
eh, I am dead."
764
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,059
Wait, what?
765
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:32,604
"It would be like
I never knew her."
766
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:35,398
Well, y'all are twins, so...
767
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:38,401
you knew her at some point.
768
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,321
My mom got in one fight
with my aunt,
769
00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:43,740
and I ain't see my cousins
for four years.
770
00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:45,200
It just, "Oh, yeah.
Everybody, get out.
771
00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:46,784
"Go, go, go.
You cannot play here.
772
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,369
Go, go, go."
773
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,537
Then they figured it out,
and it was like,
774
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,664
"Okay, you can go back."
Nigga, what?
775
00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:55,210
Do you know how awkward
of a reunion that was?
776
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:57,879
Hey, girl, so...
777
00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:00,298
how was all of high school?
778
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,427
I'm in college asking them
stupid questions
779
00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:06,471
like, "So you did get
your period?"
780
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:10,225
And when Nigerians
get mad upset,
781
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:11,935
they do one
of three things, right?
782
00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,728
First they give you false hope.
783
00:30:13,811 --> 00:30:15,813
They'll be like,
"You know what?
784
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,690
"It's not your fault.
785
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:20,568
No, no, no.
It's not your fault."
786
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:21,861
Let me tell you right now,
787
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,655
if they ever tell you
it's not your fault,
788
00:30:23,738 --> 00:30:26,032
it's most definitely
your fault!
789
00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:27,700
Like, they give you false hope.
790
00:30:27,784 --> 00:30:29,869
Then they take false ownership.
791
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:31,746
"I don't blame you, mm.
792
00:30:31,829 --> 00:30:35,333
I blame myself."
793
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:37,043
You already know.
794
00:30:37,126 --> 00:30:40,755
"No, I blame myself."
795
00:30:40,838 --> 00:30:42,257
Then they do false insults.
796
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:44,884
"It is because
I'm a foolish goat.
797
00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:47,178
"Yeah, that's why she thinks
she can talk to me anyhow.
798
00:30:47,262 --> 00:30:48,596
"Yeah, no, I blame myself.
799
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,181
"I'm a moo-moo.
Yes, I'm a moo--
800
00:30:50,265 --> 00:30:52,684
Moo, I'm a cow.
I'm a moo-moo, that's why."
801
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:54,269
I'ma tell you right now,
that woman that's having
802
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:55,520
that conversation by herself,
803
00:30:55,603 --> 00:30:57,897
she's about
to light up the village, okay?
804
00:30:57,981 --> 00:31:00,400
[speaking native language]
805
00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:04,779
So I was really trying
to do something different
806
00:31:04,862 --> 00:31:05,905
with my friend breakup.
807
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,908
I was like, you know,
we gonna use our words, okay?
808
00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:11,786
[sighs] So I went to her,
and I was like, "Hey, girl.
809
00:31:11,869 --> 00:31:13,496
"Something you did
really bothered me,
810
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,748
and I'm hoping
that we can talk about it."
811
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,750
And she goes,
812
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:20,795
"I feel like these
are your issues, not mine."
813
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,885
You ever plan out
a conversation in your head,
814
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,721
and you anticipate
how it's gonna go?
815
00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,139
I thought it was gonna be like,
"Hey, girl.
816
00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:32,807
Something you did
really made me sad."
817
00:31:32,890 --> 00:31:34,350
"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
818
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:37,312
'You and me must never part,
Makidada.'"
819
00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:39,564
That's how I saw it in my head.
820
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:41,190
So, obviously, you know,
821
00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,734
I had to put some distance
between us
822
00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:46,321
and "Encanto" that ho.
823
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:49,782
♪ We don't talk about her,
no, no ♪
824
00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:54,245
All the people with kids--
"Oh, that's my song."
825
00:31:56,039 --> 00:31:57,790
I mean, the more I thought
about our friendship,
826
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:01,002
I was like, "This is stupid.
I miss my friend."
827
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,503
So I went back
to her a couple months later,
828
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:05,173
and I was like, "Girl,
can we please just talk?"
829
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:07,175
Like, a white flag
of surrender.
830
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,677
Literally,
I just want to talk to you.
831
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,679
[sighs]
And she said,
832
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,890
"I would find it very difficult
to talk to you
833
00:32:13,973 --> 00:32:16,351
without first getting
an apology."
834
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,187
audience:
Oh!
835
00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:22,482
- It's not her fault.
It's not her fault.
836
00:32:22,565 --> 00:32:25,568
I blame myself
837
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,195
because I'm a foolish goat.
838
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:29,322
I'm the one
that went back a second time.
839
00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:30,740
[laughs]
840
00:32:30,823 --> 00:32:31,949
So here's the thing--
841
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:35,203
when people know
that you love God,
842
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,747
I think they think that
that is the version of you
843
00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:40,124
that's always existed.
audience: Yes.
844
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:42,752
- Mm-mm,
this New Testament Yvonne.
845
00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:44,879
Okay?
846
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:48,591
Hey, there's
an Old Testament ho bubblin'.
847
00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:51,260
Just, "Quick, put me in, Coach.
848
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:53,096
What we doing?"
849
00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:55,348
'Cause if you want to gaslight
me, nigga, I got the propane.
850
00:32:55,431 --> 00:32:57,183
Let's burn
this whole thing down.
851
00:32:57,266 --> 00:32:58,685
What? Boosh.
852
00:32:58,768 --> 00:33:00,687
Everybody dies.
853
00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:03,731
You ever be so mad,
you start making up songs?
854
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:06,234
♪ This nigga got me twisted ♪
855
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:10,488
[chuckles]
856
00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:16,828
In those moments,
I promise you,
857
00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:18,246
I understood people
a lot better.
858
00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:21,457
I was like,
"Left Eye, I get it.
859
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:24,085
"I get it.
The house was supposed to burn.
860
00:33:24,168 --> 00:33:25,670
"You know what I'm saying?
861
00:33:25,753 --> 00:33:28,089
What else
were you supposed to do, okay?"
862
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,385
But if I'm being honest--
if I really take the time
863
00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:35,596
to self-reflect and think
about that friendship...
864
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,433
[sighs] And my part,
the part that I played,
865
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:42,353
I ain't know I was me.
I didn't.
866
00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:44,564
'Cause when
you don't know that you're you,
867
00:33:44,647 --> 00:33:47,066
you let things slide
that you shouldn't.
868
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:50,403
You give away a lot more
of your power than you should.
869
00:33:50,486 --> 00:33:53,239
And you let people create
a version of you
870
00:33:53,322 --> 00:33:57,034
that's most comfortable
for them at your expense.
871
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,745
So...
872
00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:01,622
This is a Bible study
that's happening right now.
873
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:05,960
[laughs]
I thought it was just me.
874
00:34:06,043 --> 00:34:07,920
Y'all were like, "Can we pass
the offering buckets
875
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,631
this way, please?"
876
00:34:12,633 --> 00:34:13,801
But it hurt. It hurt.
877
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:15,845
But I learned that
I need to hang with people
878
00:34:15,928 --> 00:34:18,973
who make my nervous system
feel safe.
879
00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:20,767
You know what that is?
Growth.
880
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,935
[applause]
881
00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:26,481
I can't tell my mom, though.
[sighs]
882
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:27,774
I just didn't need
her encouragement.
883
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,276
"If it were me--"
No, but it's not. It's not.
884
00:34:30,359 --> 00:34:32,278
Come on back.
885
00:34:32,361 --> 00:34:34,447
What's going on?
Is this date night over here?
886
00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:36,949
- No, we homeys.
- Oh, you're homeys.
887
00:34:38,701 --> 00:34:40,787
How long you been
in love with him?
888
00:34:40,870 --> 00:34:42,872
Just-just-just--
Baby, just tell the truth
889
00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:45,541
and shame the devil--
you know you love him.
890
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:49,629
How'd y'all meet?
both: Yoga.
891
00:34:49,712 --> 00:34:52,256
- Yoga?
- Hey.
892
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:55,551
[laughter and applause]
893
00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:58,554
[giggles]
Namaste, hey.
894
00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:00,681
Hey, what's--stop, stop.
895
00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:02,016
- [laughs]
896
00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:04,685
- Okay.
I'm not messing with y'all.
897
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,854
What I'm tired of hearing,
though, is all the stuff
898
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,690
they tell women
they shouldn't do
899
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,484
until they have a partner.
900
00:35:11,567 --> 00:35:13,694
I'm sick of it.
901
00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:15,071
I'm sick of it.
902
00:35:15,154 --> 00:35:16,656
When I bought my house,
903
00:35:16,739 --> 00:35:20,993
I had women who I knew
could afford their own house,
904
00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:22,328
and they were like,
"But, Yvonne, like,
905
00:35:22,411 --> 00:35:24,664
"aren't you worried
that, um, I don't know,
906
00:35:24,747 --> 00:35:27,208
you might intimidate a guy
who wants to date you?"
907
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:29,001
- Nope.
- No.
908
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:30,586
- Uh...
909
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:32,255
not the guy who wants
to date me.
910
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:34,757
[cheers and applause]
911
00:35:34,841 --> 00:35:36,092
Okay?
912
00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:41,556
The guy for me gonna roll up
to my house and be like,
913
00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:44,183
"Oh, this cute."
[chuckles]
914
00:35:44,267 --> 00:35:46,394
"I see what you doing
with your little Carrara marble
915
00:35:46,477 --> 00:35:48,521
"or whatever.
916
00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:51,774
"Okay, you got views.
That's cute.
917
00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:53,568
So when you gonna let
a real man upgrade you?"
918
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:56,654
Oh, my God.
[giggles oddly]
919
00:35:56,737 --> 00:35:58,781
Today.
920
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:01,784
Stop.
921
00:36:03,035 --> 00:36:05,788
If you think I am going
to pass up on equity
922
00:36:05,872 --> 00:36:07,456
to protect a man's ego...
923
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,670
♪ Niggas got me twisted ♪
924
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:17,216
And I had a guy friend
come to my house, too--
925
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,718
this platonic dude.
926
00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:20,469
And he was just like,
927
00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:21,637
"Yvonne, you know,
I'm not gonna lie,
928
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:23,514
"if I was trying to date
a woman, you know,
929
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,600
with all that you got--"
930
00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:28,603
Square footage.
[pops lips]
931
00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:31,105
He was like,
"I would wonder...
932
00:36:31,188 --> 00:36:34,233
[sighs] What would she need
from me?"
933
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:37,278
Nigga, to go half
on this mortgage.
934
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:39,196
What?
935
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,950
To handle the gardener.
What are you talking about?
936
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:46,245
You think I want to live
with Ester forever?
937
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:50,333
And I blame us, ladies.
I blame us. We let them.
938
00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:52,168
We let them trick us
with these songs.
939
00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:54,962
They made us believe
that it was nice
940
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,714
to be a strong Black woman.
941
00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:58,341
There were like,
"It's a badge of honor
942
00:36:58,424 --> 00:36:59,425
to be a strong Black--"
No.
943
00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:02,261
♪ I-N-D-E-P-E-N-- ♪
944
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:04,472
Shut up! Shut up.
945
00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,766
You better stop singing that.
946
00:37:08,225 --> 00:37:09,477
I'm tired!
947
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,729
We're poisoning ourselves.
We're believing the hype.
948
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,272
No, I don't want to be
a strong Black woman.
949
00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:14,398
I don't want to be a strong--
950
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:17,151
I'm a weak Black woman.
Please.
951
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:20,321
Do you see?
These songs are a setup.
952
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,866
♪ All the women
who independent, throw your-- ♪
953
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,243
If you don't put your--
954
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:28,496
Put your hands down.
955
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:30,790
Other races get to be
damsels in distress.
956
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:32,792
What do we get?
We get "Waiting to Exhale."
957
00:37:32,875 --> 00:37:34,669
What?
958
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:37,964
We got to wait to...
[exhales sharply] Do that?
959
00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:40,675
Nah, we need remixes.
960
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:44,303
♪ All my women
who codependent ♪
961
00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,180
'Cause I need to file
some dependents
962
00:37:46,263 --> 00:37:49,016
on my taxes next year, y'all.
963
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,852
Nah, there's no badge of honor
for being a strong Black woman.
964
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:53,521
You don't get no badge.
You know what we get?
965
00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,690
Fibroids.
966
00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,943
[indistinct chatter]
967
00:37:59,026 --> 00:38:00,444
I'm tired. I'm tired.
968
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,822
I don't want
to be strong anymore.
969
00:38:02,905 --> 00:38:05,074
Whitney got y'all twisted.
I'm not every woman.
970
00:38:05,157 --> 00:38:06,617
It's not all in me.
971
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:09,620
It's a soft-girl summer, okay?
Okay? That's what's up.
972
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:13,165
[chuckles]
973
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:15,918
I can't stand the double
standard in dating, though.
974
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:17,545
I cannot.
975
00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:20,047
Because two dudes can have
the same conversation
976
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:22,758
two women have--
goes completely different.
977
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:24,510
Two dudes--
"Hey, fam, how was the date?"
978
00:38:24,593 --> 00:38:26,220
Aw, man, it was cool.
Nice vibes.
979
00:38:26,303 --> 00:38:28,556
But I'm really not
feeling her.
980
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,599
"A'ight. You want to go hoop?"
Yeah, turn up.
981
00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:32,852
Boom. Conversation's over.
982
00:38:32,935 --> 00:38:34,937
Two women...
983
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:38,941
"Oh, my God,
so how was the date?
984
00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:40,693
Tell me everything."
985
00:38:40,776 --> 00:38:42,361
It was cool. Vibe was nice.
986
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:45,031
But I don't know.
I'm just not feeling him.
987
00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:47,575
"Okay, but, like, like,
what aren't you feeling?"
988
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,788
Oh, I mean, like,
I wasn't attracted to him.
989
00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:56,375
"Okay, like, like, what exactly
were you not attracted to?"
990
00:38:56,459 --> 00:38:58,753
Nigga, his face.
991
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:02,089
Like, the whole thing.
[chuckles]
992
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:03,799
Then they start talking stupid
and be like,
993
00:39:03,883 --> 00:39:05,384
"Okay, well, I mean,
I'm just saying, like,
994
00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:07,511
attraction grows."
995
00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:09,722
From what?
996
00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,641
From what?
There's got to be a seed.
997
00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:15,603
And why are we treating dating
like it's a Chia Pet?
998
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:16,937
Ch-ch-ch-chia.
999
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:20,024
N-n-n-nigga. What are we doing?
1000
00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:21,067
No.
1001
00:39:21,150 --> 00:39:22,777
Then they hit you
with this dumbness.
1002
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,361
"I mean, I'm just saying--
I'm just saying,
1003
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:26,906
"don't you think
that maybe, just maybe
1004
00:39:26,989 --> 00:39:30,076
you're being
a little too picky?"
1005
00:39:30,159 --> 00:39:32,828
[audience groans]
[sighs]
1006
00:39:32,912 --> 00:39:34,914
Shouldn't you be...
1007
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:37,792
about the person
you want to procreate with?
1008
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:40,795
Baby, I seen your kids.
You should have been pickier.
1009
00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:44,173
[cheering]
1010
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:46,258
Brrrap.
1011
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:50,346
[dramatic music]
1012
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:52,306
- Listen, Ms. Nwachukwu--
- It's "Wachukwu."
1013
00:39:52,389 --> 00:39:53,849
- My apologies.
- The N is silent.
1014
00:39:53,933 --> 00:39:54,892
- Yeah, whatever.
1015
00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:56,685
You're facing
the following charges--
1016
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:58,354
being consistently picky...
- Hmm.
1017
00:39:58,437 --> 00:39:59,980
- Having unreasonable
standards...
1018
00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:01,315
- Okay.
- And discriminating
1019
00:40:01,398 --> 00:40:02,733
against short men.
1020
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,360
- My standards are not
unreasonable.
1021
00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:06,445
Plus, I am everything
I bring to the table.
1022
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:08,114
Thank you very mu--
[gasps]
1023
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:10,658
- Your wish list
is 25 items long.
1024
00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,118
- Well, you should have seen
the first draft.
1025
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:14,620
- This isn't
a damn Nollywood movie.
1026
00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:15,955
Foolish girl.
1027
00:40:16,038 --> 00:40:18,791
You're facing the rest
of your young life alone.
1028
00:40:18,874 --> 00:40:20,626
15 years minimum.
1029
00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:22,670
- I can take it.
- Take a seat.
1030
00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:23,754
- Sit--sit down.
1031
00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:26,507
He's crazy, but he's right,
you know?
1032
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:28,384
No one to hold you at night.
1033
00:40:28,467 --> 00:40:29,677
- [sighs]
1034
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,680
- Or rub shea butter
on the middle of your back.
1035
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,015
I bet you your back is
ashy right now, isn't it?
1036
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,559
- [clears throat]
1037
00:40:36,642 --> 00:40:38,227
- It's probably itchy, too.
- Mm.
1038
00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:39,728
- Mm-hmm.
- [gasps, sighs]
1039
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,147
- Yeah.
- Nonye.
1040
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:42,273
- What?
- You remind me
1041
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:44,024
of my stubborn daughter.
- My wife.
1042
00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:45,359
- What?
- So I'm willing to let you
1043
00:40:45,442 --> 00:40:47,111
plead to a lesser man.
1044
00:40:47,194 --> 00:40:49,488
Sure, he's not how
your ridiculous idea
1045
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:50,531
of soul mate.
1046
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:52,158
But he's better
than a roommate.
1047
00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:53,742
- Not interested.
1048
00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:56,412
I'm looking for Mr. Right,
not Mr. A'ight.
1049
00:40:56,495 --> 00:40:58,664
And plus, my eggs are
frozen solid.
1050
00:40:58,747 --> 00:40:59,999
I got time.
- Time from where?
1051
00:41:00,082 --> 00:41:01,000
Time waits for no man.
1052
00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:02,334
- Time is not
a social construct.
1053
00:41:02,418 --> 00:41:03,586
- We're giving you time.
You pick it up
1054
00:41:03,669 --> 00:41:05,713
from your pocket
- We sell you time.
1055
00:41:05,796 --> 00:41:08,257
- Um, please step away
from my client, detectives.
1056
00:41:08,340 --> 00:41:10,134
- You got three hours
to make a decision.
1057
00:41:10,217 --> 00:41:12,052
- Or I will throw outdoors
your frozen eggs
1058
00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:13,304
and I will make a grand slam.
1059
00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:14,388
- Okay.
- Omelet.
1060
00:41:14,471 --> 00:41:16,056
- I seen him do it.
- All right.
1061
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,517
- He's crazy.
- Let's--thank you.
1062
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:20,227
- Since when did believing
in true love
1063
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:21,770
become a jail sentence?
1064
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:24,690
- Look, Nonye, I'm not saying
that the charges are warranted,
1065
00:41:24,773 --> 00:41:26,483
but let's just try to keep
an open mind
1066
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:27,693
and explore our options.
1067
00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:29,195
Can we do that?
- I guess.
1068
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:31,906
- All right.
Bring in the lesser charges.
1069
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,449
Let's just have a look.
1070
00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:35,576
- Uh, number one, no.
1071
00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:36,619
Yeah, no.
1072
00:41:36,702 --> 00:41:38,579
Is he on his tippy-toes?
Sir, I said goodbye.
1073
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:39,538
- But you didn't even get...
- Is he 5'6"?
1074
00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:40,915
- To hear him out.
- 5'6"?
1075
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:41,957
- He kind of short, though.
- I can't do nothing with that.
1076
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:42,958
- Yeah, that's true.
1077
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:43,959
He kind of short.
- He can't pick me up.
1078
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:45,711
- What about number two?
It says here
1079
00:41:45,794 --> 00:41:49,089
that he is thoughtful,
compassionate, and God-fearing.
1080
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:51,217
- Okay, I like that.
- Yeah.
1081
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,968
- But what's
with the prison attire?
1082
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:55,888
- Apparently he's serving
actual time.
1083
00:41:55,971 --> 00:41:57,681
But on the bright side,
at least you know where he at.
1084
00:41:57,765 --> 00:42:01,018
- Girl--Bye, bye, man.
1085
00:42:01,101 --> 00:42:03,062
- Well, okay, number three.
Let's see--
1086
00:42:03,145 --> 00:42:04,897
- Says he's patient.
1087
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:06,607
Ah, "sweeter
than a ripe plantain."
1088
00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:07,733
I see you, boo.
1089
00:42:07,816 --> 00:42:09,151
Yeah, what else we got?
- Oh.
1090
00:42:09,235 --> 00:42:11,612
- Oh, he drives a Range
and owns a pharmacy?
1091
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:13,906
See, okay, captain of industry.
What is the catch?
1092
00:42:13,989 --> 00:42:15,241
Girl, please tell me
there's none.
1093
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:17,201
- None that I can see so far.
1094
00:42:17,284 --> 00:42:18,702
- [sighs] I love that.
1095
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:20,371
Um, number three...
[giggles oddly]
1096
00:42:20,454 --> 00:42:22,539
Can you just turn
to the side for me?
1097
00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:23,540
- Let's see what he got.
- Let me see
1098
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:24,917
that booty working out.
both: Oh.
1099
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,669
- He got a little--
- Hold up, wait.
1100
00:42:26,752 --> 00:42:28,545
But who is Uzo?
- Probably his mother.
1101
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,673
You know the mama-boy types.
- I do, I do.
1102
00:42:30,756 --> 00:42:32,633
- No, definitely
his other wife.
1103
00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:33,634
- "Other"?
1104
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:35,928
How many hos
this polyamorous nigga got?
1105
00:42:36,011 --> 00:42:39,139
- Hey. You still can't decide?
1106
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:40,349
How about I give you a taste
1107
00:42:40,432 --> 00:42:41,976
of what life is really like
on the inside?
1108
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:43,269
Nonye, come with me.
1109
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,066
- Guessing you're not taking
your plea, huh?
1110
00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:51,110
- What's it to you?
[scoffs]
1111
00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:53,904
- Listen, I'm not trying
to get all in your business.
1112
00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:56,156
I'm just offering
some perspective.
1113
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,284
- [sighs]
- That's Iffy.
1114
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,953
As in mad iffy on any guy
who showed interest.
1115
00:43:01,036 --> 00:43:04,581
Now look at her,
making toilet wine in her cell.
1116
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:05,791
- [gulps]
- Mm.
1117
00:43:05,874 --> 00:43:09,837
- Hey, you got to support
Black-owned businesses.
1118
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,047
That's Chandra. A legend.
1119
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,549
Got charged
with unreasonable standards.
1120
00:43:13,632 --> 00:43:15,676
12 years in,
still maintains her innocence.
1121
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:17,678
Would rather do life
in solitary confinement
1122
00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:18,971
than settle.
1123
00:43:19,054 --> 00:43:21,181
- My kind of girl.
1124
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:23,017
What's your deal?
- Me?
1125
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:25,853
[scoffs] I learned to give
short niggas a chance.
1126
00:43:27,813 --> 00:43:29,481
[chuckles] Hey.
1127
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,692
Lot of dudes 5'6" and under
are great.
1128
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:33,485
Salud.
1129
00:43:33,569 --> 00:43:35,988
- Ew.
- Hey, babe.
1130
00:43:36,071 --> 00:43:38,365
- [grunting]
1131
00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:39,325
- Okay.
- [chuckles]
1132
00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:40,784
- All right.
1133
00:43:42,328 --> 00:43:44,330
- [sighs, breathes deeply]
1134
00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:46,457
- Hey, they're ready for you.
1135
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:49,501
- I know what they're doing,
and I'm not gonna fall for it.
1136
00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:51,211
I'm not gonna be pressured
to settle.
1137
00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:52,880
- You sure about this?
1138
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,048
- Who you think ratted me out?
1139
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,091
- I don't even know.
- Nonye.
1140
00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:57,426
Nonye, take the plea deal.
1141
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:59,303
It was your mother's
one dying wish--
1142
00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:01,263
unless you want to kill her.
1143
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:03,390
- Auntie Shola.
I should have known.
1144
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:04,850
- What about these two guys?
1145
00:44:04,933 --> 00:44:06,101
They have jobs,
and they're very strong.
1146
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,603
This one has muscles
on his chest.
1147
00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,521
Young man,
what's your zodiac sign?
1148
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:10,689
Are you Sagittarius?
1149
00:44:10,773 --> 00:44:11,899
Ow!
1150
00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:13,859
- Solo traveling
is a thing I did,
1151
00:44:13,942 --> 00:44:17,029
and people just was like,
"You're going by yourself?
1152
00:44:17,112 --> 00:44:20,991
You're going by yourself?
Like, well, what do you do?"
1153
00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:24,119
Whatever I want to do.
1154
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,497
[cheers and applause]
1155
00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:28,540
It's how this works.
1156
00:44:28,624 --> 00:44:31,251
[chuckles] But I do have
this, like, random trait
1157
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:34,088
that I do on the plane
whenever I travel.
1158
00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:37,341
I love watching the TV console
1159
00:44:37,424 --> 00:44:40,260
on the person next to me...
[audience shouts]
1160
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,429
With no headphones.
[chuckles]
1161
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:46,600
I just be here like this...
[laughs]
1162
00:44:46,683 --> 00:44:49,228
That's wild. That's crazy.
1163
00:44:49,311 --> 00:44:51,438
I be getting mad when they get
up to go to the bathroom.
1164
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:54,274
Like, "Aw, that was my part."
1165
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,193
[chuckles] Secretly I wish
they would put
1166
00:44:56,276 --> 00:44:57,903
the subtitles on.
1167
00:44:57,986 --> 00:45:00,697
They only catch me, though,
when we laugh at the same time.
1168
00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:02,741
I be like... [laughs]
"Oh, damn."
1169
00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:08,414
[chuckles]
"Can I get a pillow?"
1170
00:45:10,749 --> 00:45:12,918
[chuckles]
1171
00:45:13,001 --> 00:45:14,002
You know, in the last special,
1172
00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:17,297
I talked about how autopay
was the flex.
1173
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:20,426
Y'all remember that?
That was the flex.
1174
00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:22,970
Well, there's levels
to this, guys.
1175
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:26,890
The new flex
is estate planning.
1176
00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:29,017
You got to have a will.
1177
00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:30,519
Listen, if you have
any furniture
1178
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,565
that was not assembled at IKEA,
you have an asset, okay?
1179
00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:36,942
You got to figure out
who gets it.
1180
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:39,111
There's a lot of people dying
with no estate plan--
1181
00:45:39,194 --> 00:45:40,446
with no will.
1182
00:45:40,529 --> 00:45:43,115
Prince died. Prince!
1183
00:45:43,198 --> 00:45:44,658
No will.
1184
00:45:44,741 --> 00:45:46,243
All that money, where it going?
1185
00:45:46,326 --> 00:45:49,288
'Cause the reality is
that you could not have a will,
1186
00:45:49,371 --> 00:45:50,456
but that money going somewhere.
1187
00:45:50,539 --> 00:45:53,500
You made a decision.
The government's taking it all.
1188
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:56,170
DMX died.
1189
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:57,838
No will.
1190
00:45:57,921 --> 00:45:59,423
That hurt me.
I'm not gonna lie.
1191
00:45:59,506 --> 00:46:01,759
DMX's death in the pandemic
hurt my soul.
1192
00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:04,678
'Cause I realized
we would never, ever get
1193
00:46:04,761 --> 00:46:08,682
the DMX, Kirk Franklin
collabo takeover album.
1194
00:46:08,765 --> 00:46:11,685
Y'all know that would have been
a club banger.
1195
00:46:11,768 --> 00:46:17,483
[imitating DMX] ♪ Melodies
from Yonkers rain down-- ♪
1196
00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:19,985
Oh, come on.
1197
00:46:20,068 --> 00:46:23,489
♪ What they really want
from me, Jesus? ♪
1198
00:46:23,572 --> 00:46:25,324
[normal voice]
What?
1199
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:26,867
[imitating DMX]
♪ Somebody let me know ♪
1200
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:32,164
There was Judas,
Bartholomew.
1201
00:46:32,247 --> 00:46:35,334
♪ Some punk about three kings ♪
1202
00:46:35,417 --> 00:46:37,628
[normal voice]
Come on. Y'all know...
1203
00:46:40,297 --> 00:46:42,049
Y'all know that would have been
the club banger.
1204
00:46:42,132 --> 00:46:43,842
Don't look at me like that.
1205
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,844
You know the saddest part,
though, about estate planning
1206
00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:47,930
as a single woman?
1207
00:46:48,013 --> 00:46:50,766
Is when they bring you
all the paperwork...
1208
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:55,938
And you got all the lines,
and you realize,
1209
00:46:56,021 --> 00:46:57,898
"Huh.
1210
00:46:57,981 --> 00:47:00,901
I got nobody
to leave my stuff to."
1211
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:03,904
Do you know
who inherits everything I have
1212
00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:06,823
in my untimely demise?
1213
00:47:06,907 --> 00:47:09,034
Nigga, my roommate, Ester,
that's who.
1214
00:47:09,117 --> 00:47:10,494
Okay?
1215
00:47:10,577 --> 00:47:12,162
That's why she was cooking
for me.
1216
00:47:12,246 --> 00:47:13,872
This ho was trying to get
the big room.
1217
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:16,750
Ah, diabetes, ah.
[laughs]
1218
00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:19,294
It's what she was doing.
She not slick.
1219
00:47:19,378 --> 00:47:21,255
Tried to estate-plan
with my parents.
1220
00:47:21,338 --> 00:47:22,714
Ah.
1221
00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:25,801
That was...
[sighs] Interesting.
1222
00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:27,594
'Cause African parents,
they never like to talk
1223
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,263
about stuff that's inevitable.
1224
00:47:29,346 --> 00:47:32,307
Death and sex--
It's gonna happen.
1225
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:33,600
You know?
1226
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:34,977
I was like, "Hey, Dad, we got
to talk about your will."
1227
00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:37,896
"My will?
So you want to kill me?"
1228
00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:40,983
No, but you will die.
So have a seat.
1229
00:47:41,066 --> 00:47:42,859
[chuckles]
1230
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:44,236
So I had to estate-plan
with them.
1231
00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:46,572
I was like, "All right, Dad,
what are our assets?"
1232
00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:50,826
[sighs] "Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
1233
00:47:50,909 --> 00:47:53,203
Okay, assets. Okay."
1234
00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:54,621
I was like, "Yo, you got
one more 'okay'
1235
00:47:54,705 --> 00:47:57,416
before I think we not okay--
what are you doing?"
1236
00:47:57,499 --> 00:47:59,334
My dad does this thing
where he has, like,
1237
00:47:59,418 --> 00:48:00,836
coded conversations.
1238
00:48:00,919 --> 00:48:05,132
You know who he's talking about
by where his hand falls.
1239
00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:08,135
So he's like, "It is my wish
1240
00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:12,139
that all
of my children move out."
1241
00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:14,474
Only one of us
is in the house, dog.
1242
00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:16,518
Only one of us.
1243
00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:18,937
"And each of you get
good jobs."
1244
00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:21,356
You're like,
"All right. You're up."
1245
00:48:22,941 --> 00:48:24,026
And it's always wild,
1246
00:48:24,109 --> 00:48:25,611
because no matter
how many siblings you have,
1247
00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:28,530
no matter how y'all grew up,
1248
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:30,741
there's always one,
1249
00:48:30,824 --> 00:48:32,659
maybe two
1250
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,536
that just have
a alternate reality
1251
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:36,747
of how they were raised.
1252
00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:43,420
I have a brother
who believes in his heart
1253
00:48:43,503 --> 00:48:45,297
that he grew up like Tupac.
1254
00:48:47,674 --> 00:48:50,010
"'Cause, you know, it was hard
growing up without a father."
1255
00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:53,263
I'm sorry, what?
What do you mean?
1256
00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:54,973
"'Cause, you know,
Daddy wasn't there."
1257
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:57,434
Nigga, he's right there.
1258
00:48:57,517 --> 00:48:59,853
Yo, we have the same daddy.
Like, what--
1259
00:48:59,936 --> 00:49:01,188
what do you mean?
1260
00:49:01,271 --> 00:49:02,981
"I don't know, sis.
Maybe it was easier for you."
1261
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:05,484
It wasn't.
You went to college for free.
1262
00:49:05,567 --> 00:49:07,027
[chuckles]
1263
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:08,320
I was like,
"You can't be no thug.
1264
00:49:08,403 --> 00:49:10,697
We grew up on a cul-de-sac.
What are you doing?"
1265
00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,324
There are no drive-bys
in a circle.
1266
00:49:12,407 --> 00:49:15,661
Just...
[imitating gunfire]
1267
00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,412
You just shot yourself.
It's a ricochet bullet.
1268
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:20,499
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1269
00:49:20,582 --> 00:49:22,542
It's crazy 'cause
when they're all together--
1270
00:49:22,626 --> 00:49:24,419
when they're all together,
you realize--
1271
00:49:24,503 --> 00:49:25,879
I mean,
they're just sitting there
1272
00:49:25,962 --> 00:49:29,007
laughing, passing the gravy,
eating chicken wings,
1273
00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:31,218
just enjoying life.
1274
00:49:31,301 --> 00:49:33,720
And then it hits you,
1275
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:38,517
"They can be so carefree
because they know
1276
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:42,562
"that you know
if anything happens,
1277
00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:46,692
it is all on me."
1278
00:49:46,775 --> 00:49:48,860
That's why they so happy.
1279
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:52,572
They can eat carefree
'cause they know
1280
00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:56,910
it is all on me.
1281
00:49:56,993 --> 00:49:59,037
Please, nobody die.
1282
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,831
I can't plan a funeral
before a wedding.
1283
00:50:00,914 --> 00:50:03,750
Please!
1284
00:50:03,834 --> 00:50:05,168
The same brother
who think he a thug,
1285
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:07,254
he gonna come at me--
he's like, "Hey, sis.
1286
00:50:07,337 --> 00:50:09,840
"That's real wild.
That's real wild.
1287
00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:11,550
"You really gonna leave
everything to Ester
1288
00:50:11,633 --> 00:50:14,553
like you don't have
no brothers."
1289
00:50:14,636 --> 00:50:18,557
You don't believe
we have a father.
1290
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,810
I can't trust you
with my accounts.
1291
00:50:21,893 --> 00:50:24,479
Get out of here.
1292
00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:26,022
But I'm ready.
I'm ready for partnership.
1293
00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:27,524
I am.
1294
00:50:27,607 --> 00:50:29,609
- All right, Yvonne, we've
covered quite a lot of ground.
1295
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:30,902
- We sure have.
1296
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,780
- Resetting emotions,
soothing your inner child,
1297
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,741
and unpacking
the external factors
1298
00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:37,909
to your trauma.
- That was rough.
1299
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,995
- Are there any other areas
you'd like to tackle?
1300
00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:42,456
- Niggas.
- [laughs]
1301
00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:46,126
[clears throat]
1302
00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:49,463
So you would like to discuss
relationships?
1303
00:50:49,546 --> 00:50:51,506
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1304
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:53,049
Well, let's go inward.
1305
00:50:53,133 --> 00:50:55,218
Given the type of partner
you desire,
1306
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:56,803
would you date you?
1307
00:50:56,887 --> 00:51:01,558
- Oh, we asking hard questions
off the top, okay.
1308
00:51:01,641 --> 00:51:04,144
Would I date me?
[sighs]
1309
00:51:09,566 --> 00:51:12,319
- [sighs]
I have five five-year plans,
1310
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:14,696
and one of those includes
becoming the youngest Nigerian
1311
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:16,615
at Harvard Medical School.
1312
00:51:16,698 --> 00:51:18,784
And one day,
somebody's gonna play me
1313
00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:21,453
in the Nollywood reboot
of "Doogie Howser, M.D."
1314
00:51:21,536 --> 00:51:23,580
- [chuckles]
Impressive.
1315
00:51:23,663 --> 00:51:25,081
No time for dating
with that plan.
1316
00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:26,082
- Mm-mm.
1317
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:27,626
The only thing
I'm bustin' wide open
1318
00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:29,836
are these books.
[bell dings]
1319
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,339
Oh, my God. I'm almost late.
I have to go to class.
1320
00:51:32,422 --> 00:51:33,632
Good luck!
1321
00:51:33,715 --> 00:51:34,633
- She gonna learn.
1322
00:51:34,716 --> 00:51:36,927
She about to be
"Bamboozled by Jesus,"
1323
00:51:37,010 --> 00:51:38,845
available wherever books
and audiobooks are sold.
1324
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:40,180
[bell dings]
1325
00:51:40,263 --> 00:51:42,349
- I mean, I guess you could
say I'm still single
1326
00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:44,059
'cause the traditional path
just wasn't for me.
1327
00:51:44,142 --> 00:51:45,685
I mean, I already
wasn't pressured
1328
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:46,770
into becoming a doctor,
1329
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,688
so I sure as heck
ain't gonna be pressured
1330
00:51:48,772 --> 00:51:50,315
into getting married
just for the sake
1331
00:51:50,398 --> 00:51:52,317
of having a party.
[chuckles] No.
1332
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,486
Have you met me?
- I understand.
1333
00:51:54,569 --> 00:51:56,822
So what does love look like
for you?
1334
00:51:56,905 --> 00:51:58,949
Man, I want a love
that's so, so def--
1335
00:51:59,032 --> 00:52:01,993
like that Bow Wow and Ciara.
- Oh.
1336
00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,995
- That Jermaine Dupri
and Janet Jackson.
1337
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:05,455
[squeals] What?
1338
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:07,874
I want a forever kind of love
like Bill and Camille.
1339
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,877
- Ooh. Who gonna tell her?
1340
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:13,004
- Tell me what?
- Nothing. Just--
1341
00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,381
[bell dings]
- Oh, I got to go.
1342
00:52:14,464 --> 00:52:16,174
- Your baby hairs is poppin'.
1343
00:52:16,258 --> 00:52:18,426
Mm.
- [sighs]
1344
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:24,099
What up?
Oh, am I going? Okay.
1345
00:52:24,182 --> 00:52:27,060
Five years from now,
I better be on and poppin',
1346
00:52:27,143 --> 00:52:29,271
'cause I should have already
popped five years ago.
1347
00:52:29,354 --> 00:52:31,356
I can't even think
about a relationship right now,
1348
00:52:31,439 --> 00:52:33,525
'cause the only thing
I can bring to the table is
1349
00:52:33,608 --> 00:52:35,026
some Tupperware.
1350
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:37,863
Oh, the food is still free
here, right?
1351
00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:41,366
- Yeah. Here's a tip.
Invest in Bitcoin.
1352
00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:42,367
- Bitcoin?
1353
00:52:42,450 --> 00:52:44,244
I ain't even got
real coins, fam.
1354
00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,162
- Ugh, this some trash.
[bell dings]
1355
00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:47,914
- [groans]
1356
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:50,917
- Dang.
Those were some rough years.
1357
00:52:53,169 --> 00:52:55,380
Mama, I made it.
[bell dings]
1358
00:52:58,174 --> 00:52:59,968
Wait.
1359
00:53:00,051 --> 00:53:02,304
We're married and pregnant?
- Mm-hmm.
1360
00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,264
- We got
the whole package, too.
1361
00:53:04,347 --> 00:53:06,099
Husband, two kids, and a dog.
1362
00:53:06,182 --> 00:53:07,767
- Wait, dog? I hate dogs.
1363
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:09,561
- Not no more.
1364
00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:11,438
- What? Who is this man?
1365
00:53:11,521 --> 00:53:13,398
And does he lay it down?
- Like a flatiron.
1366
00:53:13,481 --> 00:53:15,525
[bell dings]
- [squealing]
1367
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,943
Look at us.
1368
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,487
We really softened up
and got the bag.
1369
00:53:19,571 --> 00:53:21,281
[chuckles]
1370
00:53:21,364 --> 00:53:23,074
See, I would date
this version of me.
1371
00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:25,118
Them other mes was
scruggly, girl.
1372
00:53:25,201 --> 00:53:28,330
- Nah, girl, them other yous
paved the way for me.
1373
00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:29,414
When we stopped thinking
1374
00:53:29,497 --> 00:53:31,416
that being strong was
our superpower,
1375
00:53:31,499 --> 00:53:33,793
we found strength
in our vulnerability.
1376
00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,378
And that's actually
what attracted D to us.
1377
00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:37,589
Oh, D is our husband.
1378
00:53:37,672 --> 00:53:39,215
Oh, speaking of which,
1379
00:53:39,299 --> 00:53:41,343
I got to go pick up the cake
for his 50th.
1380
00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:45,305
And traffic on Mars is about
to be stupid right now.
1381
00:53:45,388 --> 00:53:47,140
Ooh.
[groans]
1382
00:53:47,223 --> 00:53:48,850
This baby got
my sciatica acting up.
1383
00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:50,477
- Wait, what?
1384
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,646
- Oh, yeah. That back pain?
It never left us.
1385
00:53:52,729 --> 00:53:53,939
- No, not that.
1386
00:53:54,022 --> 00:53:55,815
Five years from now,
we on Mars?
1387
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:58,318
- Yeah. Earth been trash.
Where you been?
1388
00:53:58,401 --> 00:54:00,403
[clicks tongue]
- You ain't never lied.
1389
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:01,947
Okay, but wait, before you go,
1390
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:06,618
does the D stand
for, like, Dexter or DeMarcus?
1391
00:54:06,701 --> 00:54:10,455
- Closer.
- Okay, Derulo? Donsoon?
1392
00:54:10,538 --> 00:54:12,207
- Definitely not.
- Dante?
1393
00:54:12,290 --> 00:54:14,042
- Mm-mm.
- Demilola?
1394
00:54:14,125 --> 00:54:15,168
Girl, give me something.
1395
00:54:15,251 --> 00:54:17,253
I can't just be out here
just saying "D" names.
1396
00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,005
Who am I looking for?
1397
00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,632
Oh, I'm sorry.
1398
00:54:20,715 --> 00:54:22,342
[whispering]
Who am I looking for?
1399
00:54:22,425 --> 00:54:23,301
[bell dings]
1400
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:24,886
What I don't like
about dating, though,
1401
00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:26,680
is trash nigga best friend
syndrome.
1402
00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:30,350
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
1403
00:54:30,433 --> 00:54:31,851
I know
there's a good dude here.
1404
00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:33,687
You seem like a good dude.
What's your name again?
1405
00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:35,355
- Brian.
- Brian?
1406
00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:37,190
That's a good-dude name.
1407
00:54:37,273 --> 00:54:39,651
It don't get better than
Brian--Y or I.
1408
00:54:39,734 --> 00:54:43,488
Brian. Both options are good.
1409
00:54:43,571 --> 00:54:45,490
But, Brian, if I was like,
1410
00:54:45,573 --> 00:54:48,535
"Yo, I know you taken,
but do you have any friends
1411
00:54:48,618 --> 00:54:49,577
that you could
introduce me to?"
1412
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:51,329
what would you say, Brian?
1413
00:54:51,413 --> 00:54:53,873
- [mouthing words]
- Nah.
1414
00:54:53,957 --> 00:54:55,917
Every time you ask a dude,
what they say?
1415
00:54:56,001 --> 00:54:58,044
"I wouldn't even do that
to you, shorty.
1416
00:54:58,128 --> 00:55:01,214
"I wouldn't even do that
to you, nah, nah, nah.
1417
00:55:01,297 --> 00:55:03,842
"I care about you too much.
I can't--nah, nah.
1418
00:55:03,925 --> 00:55:05,802
"You don't want
none of my friends.
1419
00:55:05,885 --> 00:55:07,053
Them niggas is trash."
1420
00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:09,806
Then why are they
your friends?
1421
00:55:09,889 --> 00:55:11,474
Why are they--
"I care too much about--"
1422
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:14,602
Don't you care about you?
1423
00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:16,646
And they always have
a stupid reason.
1424
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:18,732
A stupid reason
for why they're friends.
1425
00:55:18,815 --> 00:55:20,525
"Well, you know,
in eighth grade,
1426
00:55:20,608 --> 00:55:23,695
"I was getting jumped,
and he jumped in to help me.
1427
00:55:23,778 --> 00:55:25,530
And, you know, we've been
together ever since."
1428
00:55:25,613 --> 00:55:26,698
Nigga, what?
1429
00:55:26,781 --> 00:55:29,159
He did you a favor once
and now he's your best man?
1430
00:55:29,242 --> 00:55:30,827
This is stupid!
1431
00:55:32,829 --> 00:55:33,872
Because everybody know--
1432
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:36,207
Like, fellas, if you go
to a lady and you're like,
1433
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:37,792
"Yo, do you have any friends?"
1434
00:55:37,876 --> 00:55:41,588
We're like, "Psh, pick one."
It's a Rolodex.
1435
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:43,339
How you like 'em--Black,
Puerto Rican, or Haitian?
1436
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:46,426
Slim, thick, take your pick.
1437
00:55:46,509 --> 00:55:48,344
"I wouldn't even do that
to you, shorty.
1438
00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:50,764
I wouldn't even do that."
1439
00:55:52,682 --> 00:55:54,142
Do better, Brian.
1440
00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:58,438
I pranked my parents.
1441
00:55:58,521 --> 00:55:59,939
[chuckles]
1442
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:01,399
I sent them the picture
1443
00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:04,694
of me as Molly
from season five.
1444
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:07,405
The one--
1445
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,574
But, like, I just sent it
to the family group chat
1446
00:56:09,657 --> 00:56:11,576
with no context.
1447
00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:16,790
And I was like, "Mom and Dad,
congratulations are in order."
1448
00:56:16,873 --> 00:56:18,249
I have never seen
a WhatsApp call
1449
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:22,545
come from Nigeria so quick.
1450
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,422
"Yvonne, what is the meaning
of this nonsense?
1451
00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:26,633
"What do you mean?
No, no, tell me now.
1452
00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:28,468
Shut up. I will slap you.
What do you mean?"
1453
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:31,096
I'm like--just like,
"Do you want me to talk?"
1454
00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:33,640
"Who did you tell your father
that you are marrying?"
1455
00:56:33,723 --> 00:56:35,141
And I was like,
"No. It's from the show."
1456
00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:36,184
Here go my dad.
1457
00:56:36,267 --> 00:56:37,977
"You got married
to someone on the show?
1458
00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,021
Who? Jay Ellis?"
- No.
1459
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:46,277
I got a joke gone bad.
1460
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:47,779
My sister-in-law called me.
1461
00:56:47,862 --> 00:56:50,115
She was like, "Girl,
you had Mom and Dad shook."
1462
00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:51,616
I was like,
"I know. They was trippin'."
1463
00:56:51,699 --> 00:56:53,034
She was like,
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1464
00:56:53,118 --> 00:56:54,619
They thought you got married
to a woman."
1465
00:56:54,702 --> 00:56:56,663
Wait, what?
1466
00:56:56,746 --> 00:56:58,206
She said,
"Yeah, Mom called me like,
1467
00:56:58,289 --> 00:57:01,126
'You know, we have always
suspected as much.'"
1468
00:57:03,628 --> 00:57:08,174
Always suspected as much?
Since when?
1469
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:10,510
"You know, that relationship
with Ester has been
1470
00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:12,262
something I don't understand."
1471
00:57:12,345 --> 00:57:14,973
[cheers and applause]
1472
00:57:17,976 --> 00:57:20,145
You took it to Ester?
1473
00:57:20,228 --> 00:57:22,730
And I knew I shook 'em
'cause my mom called me
1474
00:57:22,814 --> 00:57:24,524
not too long after,
and she was like,
1475
00:57:24,607 --> 00:57:25,984
"Okay, Yvonne.
I have been talking
1476
00:57:26,067 --> 00:57:28,653
"to your father, and we have...
1477
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:31,322
"we have determined
that the man
1478
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:33,658
does not even have to be
Nigerian."
1479
00:57:33,741 --> 00:57:36,995
I was like,
"Ooh, you talking spicy now."
1480
00:57:37,078 --> 00:57:40,290
My whole childhood
in one picture, gone, okay.
1481
00:57:40,373 --> 00:57:41,833
[chuckles]
And then she was like,
1482
00:57:41,916 --> 00:57:43,710
"In fact, he does not
even have to be Black."
1483
00:57:43,793 --> 00:57:45,712
I said, "Oh, you talking
reckless now.
1484
00:57:45,795 --> 00:57:47,380
What's going on?"
1485
00:57:47,463 --> 00:57:49,883
[laughs]
1486
00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:52,635
But there are a lot
of Black women dating others.
1487
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,518
There are, you know?
Eve.
1488
00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:02,562
Like, yo, Eve used to be
a Ruff Ryder.
1489
00:58:02,645 --> 00:58:03,897
- Right, right.
1490
00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:06,524
- Now she is a smooth sailor.
1491
00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:11,654
Okay? She was the illest
vicious pit bull in a skirt.
1492
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:12,655
- Okay.
1493
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,283
- Now she's a poodle
in a Birkin.
1494
00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,744
Her name not even Eve no more.
It's Evelyn.
1495
00:58:20,788 --> 00:58:22,874
But I just don't like
the jump.
1496
00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:26,169
I don't like
the quantum leap--ah--
1497
00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:29,631
that people make
from just, like, Black
1498
00:58:29,714 --> 00:58:31,424
to, ah, white.
1499
00:58:33,134 --> 00:58:34,385
'Cause there's
a spectrum, y'all.
1500
00:58:34,469 --> 00:58:35,762
There's a spectrum.
1501
00:58:35,845 --> 00:58:37,180
There's Afro-Latinos.
1502
00:58:37,263 --> 00:58:38,932
- Hey, yo.
- Okay.
1503
00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:42,518
[speaking Spanish]
[vocalizes]
1504
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:46,898
There's Samoans.
- Hey!
1505
00:58:46,981 --> 00:58:48,733
- Some of y'all are like,
"I thought those were
1506
00:58:48,816 --> 00:58:51,110
Girl Scout cookies."
No.
1507
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:54,072
Those are people,
a race of people.
1508
00:58:54,155 --> 00:58:56,908
Or Asians. There's options.
There's a spectrum.
1509
00:58:59,535 --> 00:59:01,746
I just know my--
1510
00:59:01,829 --> 00:59:03,915
I feel like my friends
are really, really ready
1511
00:59:03,998 --> 00:59:05,708
for me to get married, y'all,
1512
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:07,794
'cause I'm getting
weird gifts now.
1513
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:09,629
I'm getting real weird gifts.
1514
00:59:09,712 --> 00:59:11,130
This is a gift that I got.
1515
00:59:11,214 --> 00:59:12,423
Thank you. This--
1516
00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:15,260
[sighs] This is
a gift I got for my birthday.
1517
00:59:15,343 --> 00:59:17,262
This--
1518
00:59:17,345 --> 00:59:19,097
[cheers and applause]
1519
00:59:19,180 --> 00:59:20,181
Y'all see this?
1520
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:21,683
This is--
1521
00:59:21,766 --> 00:59:24,269
It's a rose quartz wand.
1522
00:59:24,352 --> 00:59:27,272
It's just
a chunk of crystal, guys.
1523
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:28,940
It's not what you think it is.
1524
00:59:29,023 --> 00:59:30,984
It's just crystal.
[laughs]
1525
00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:36,572
The whole crowd was like,
"Whoa!
1526
00:59:36,656 --> 00:59:39,075
What kind of friends
do you have?"
1527
00:59:39,158 --> 00:59:42,036
Are you familiar?
The whites, are you familiar?
1528
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,371
They're like, "Yes, very.
1529
00:59:43,454 --> 00:59:45,790
"Let's just see
what she's gonna do with it.
1530
00:59:45,873 --> 00:59:47,834
Let's just see!"
1531
00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:52,338
[laughs]
1532
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,800
It's a rose quartz wand.
My friend gave it to me.
1533
00:59:55,883 --> 00:59:57,343
She was like,
"What you want to do--
1534
00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,680
"you want to charge it
with the full moon
1535
01:00:00,763 --> 01:00:03,308
"and then place it on your aura
1536
01:00:03,391 --> 01:00:06,436
and see
what energy's activated."
1537
01:00:06,519 --> 01:00:09,397
What instructions are these?
1538
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:10,857
What body part is my aura?
1539
01:00:10,940 --> 01:00:12,317
I know elbow.
I don't know aura.
1540
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,152
What is--
1541
01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:16,154
And how do I know
if it's charged?
1542
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:17,322
Okay?
1543
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:18,489
Does it work
on a crescent moon?
1544
01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,366
Where's the USB?
There's no USB.
1545
01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,493
What's happening?
1546
01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:25,663
I have so many questions.
Like, why is it pink?
1547
01:00:25,747 --> 01:00:27,498
She's Black, but she's married
to a white man.
1548
01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:29,167
So maybe this is
all she's ever known.
1549
01:00:29,250 --> 01:00:31,419
I don't know.
1550
01:00:31,502 --> 01:00:34,047
I don't know.
I don't know.
1551
01:00:34,130 --> 01:00:37,884
Like, where's the amber quartz?
Is there no amber quartz?
1552
01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:40,803
I have tons of questions, guys.
1553
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,138
Oh, but it's so cooling.
1554
01:00:42,221 --> 01:00:44,515
Oh, my God, it is--ooh.
1555
01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:46,893
Just--it's, like,
oh, my God, it's--
1556
01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:47,935
[sighs]
1557
01:00:48,019 --> 01:00:50,396
It's very cool.
You want to hold it?
1558
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,732
Oh, hold it. I haven't used it.
I don't know how to use it.
1559
01:00:52,815 --> 01:00:55,902
It's fine. Here you go.
It's heavy, right? It's he--
1560
01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:58,071
You passed it along?
What is this?
1561
01:00:58,154 --> 01:01:01,491
[laughs]
Give me back--
1562
01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:03,284
He was like,
"Oh, it's show and tell.
1563
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:05,328
You know, take it
and pass it along."
1564
01:01:06,788 --> 01:01:08,289
Oh...
1565
01:01:10,291 --> 01:01:12,251
But I am ready, you know?
1566
01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:14,253
Jesus needs to hurry,
1567
01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:17,340
'cause He got till Labor Day.
1568
01:01:17,423 --> 01:01:18,716
[chuckles]
1569
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,928
I'm finna be
somebody's wife, okay?
1570
01:01:22,011 --> 01:01:25,014
I mean, I made a vow
when I was 17.
1571
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:26,808
I was like,
"Lord, I will wait for You.
1572
01:01:26,891 --> 01:01:29,894
Lord, I will wait.
You have a foot soldier in me."
1573
01:01:32,271 --> 01:01:34,107
You say a lot of things
when you're 17.
1574
01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:35,566
You know what I mean?
1575
01:01:35,650 --> 01:01:39,112
You say things like,
"Quiero Taco Bell."
1576
01:01:39,195 --> 01:01:41,030
Do you mean that?
1577
01:01:41,114 --> 01:01:42,240
My prayers are
a little different.
1578
01:01:42,323 --> 01:01:45,493
At 17, I was like,
"Yes, Lord." [giggles]
1579
01:01:45,576 --> 01:01:46,494
20 years later, I'm like,
1580
01:01:46,577 --> 01:01:47,578
"Hey, fam, what's good?"
1581
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:49,705
"Like"--[chuckles]
1582
01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:54,627
"'Cause aah...amen."
1583
01:01:54,710 --> 01:01:56,587
That's my prayer. That's--
1584
01:01:56,671 --> 01:01:58,673
"Aah, amen." That's--
1585
01:01:58,756 --> 01:02:02,135
that's all the words
I got for You, Jesus.
1586
01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:06,222
But I think the church
has done a little disservice,
1587
01:02:06,305 --> 01:02:07,974
'cause I think,
yeah, sure, you can be like,
1588
01:02:08,057 --> 01:02:08,975
"You know, I'll just wait."
1589
01:02:09,058 --> 01:02:10,977
But, like, do you have
any more information?"
1590
01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:12,979
Make it, like, a little bit
more well-rounded,
1591
01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:14,605
more holistic,
1592
01:02:14,689 --> 01:02:16,566
'cause I don't want
to get to my wedding night
1593
01:02:16,649 --> 01:02:18,109
and be shocked.
1594
01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:19,944
I don't want
to be shocked like,
1595
01:02:20,027 --> 01:02:22,822
"They sucking balls now?"
1596
01:02:22,905 --> 01:02:25,199
You know what I'm saying?
I don't--
1597
01:02:25,283 --> 01:02:28,035
I want to be informed.
1598
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,663
I want to be like,
"Hey, how are you?
1599
01:02:30,746 --> 01:02:32,999
"Yeah.
Party was amazing, right?
1600
01:02:33,082 --> 01:02:36,836
"Oh, my God...[chuckles]
Everybody was there, yeah.
1601
01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:39,380
"Okay, but--so I understand
1602
01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:43,801
"that there is a level
of ball suckage...
1603
01:02:43,885 --> 01:02:45,386
"that's desired, yeah.
1604
01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:48,973
"Is this a thing
that you desire? Okay.
1605
01:02:49,056 --> 01:02:51,434
"It is. Okay, all right.
1606
01:02:51,517 --> 01:02:54,520
"Does it bring you joy?
1607
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,814
It does. Okay."
1608
01:02:56,898 --> 01:02:58,399
[sighs]
1609
01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:02,612
Well, guys, looks like
I found my new hobby.
1610
01:03:02,695 --> 01:03:04,822
[cheers and applause]
1611
01:03:04,906 --> 01:03:06,365
Hey, LA, y'all been amazing.
1612
01:03:06,449 --> 01:03:08,493
God bless you, LA!
1613
01:03:08,576 --> 01:03:12,163
Y'all been an amazing audience!
1614
01:03:12,246 --> 01:03:14,957
[cheers and applause continue]
1615
01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:22,256
I got some very special people
in the audience today--
1616
01:03:22,340 --> 01:03:24,050
my mom and dad.
1617
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:26,052
[cheers and applause]
1618
01:03:26,135 --> 01:03:27,887
My mom and dad.
1619
01:03:27,970 --> 01:03:30,056
Chifa, Lola--Mrs. Celine Orji,
1620
01:03:30,139 --> 01:03:33,726
Mr. Michael Chugalo Orji
in the audience today.
1621
01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:37,605
I love you guys so much.
1622
01:03:37,688 --> 01:03:39,190
LA, y'all been
an amazing audience.
1623
01:03:39,273 --> 01:03:40,566
God bless you.
1624
01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,611
[cheers and applause]
1625
01:03:50,701 --> 01:03:53,496
- Well, I must say,
I am very proud of you.
1626
01:03:53,579 --> 01:03:55,039
- You are?
- I am.
1627
01:03:55,122 --> 01:03:56,415
You have done the hard work
1628
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,709
even when your enough-ness
was challenged.
1629
01:03:58,793 --> 01:04:00,169
- We should have lunch
sometime.
1630
01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:02,964
- No, I can't do that.
It's against the law.
1631
01:04:03,047 --> 01:04:05,800
- Oh.
So I guess this is it, too?
1632
01:04:05,883 --> 01:04:08,469
[Afrobeat music]
1633
01:04:08,553 --> 01:04:12,223
- [singing in native language]
1634
01:04:12,306 --> 01:04:19,272
♪ ♪
1635
01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,741
[bright tone]