1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,393 [students chattering] 4 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,669 - Hey. - Hey. 5 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:42,406 Yes. 6 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,716 [horse whinnies] 7 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,761 [college president] My mandate is to restore 8 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:53,852 some semblance of fiscal sanity to this institution. 9 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,247 And if we'’re all honest with each other, 10 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,249 we know that for a long time, 11 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:04,036 this festival has been a costly exercise in nostalgia. 12 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:08,128 So if Professors Cleary and Wasserman deign to show up, 13 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,694 then you can pass this along. 14 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,131 [door opens] 15 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,307 Sorry I'’m late. 16 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,439 Horse trouble. 17 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:19,965 [college president] Dr. Wasserman, 18 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,967 I'’ve decided that the university 19 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,969 must immediately withdraw its support 20 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,623 for the Annual Literary Festival. 21 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,235 I know you'’re all disappointed. 22 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,019 But let'’s be honest with ourselves. 23 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:33,675 We can'’t even attract a writer with enough stature 24 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,460 to inspire even modest attendance. 25 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,681 I remember when all the great ones used to come here. 26 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:40,899 Updike. 27 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:43,293 [laughs] That was a banner year. 28 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,295 We-- We should invite him. 29 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,036 He'’s dead, Arthur. 30 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,081 [Arthur] Oh, That'’s sad. 31 00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:53,129 [panting] Wait, where are you going? Wait, wait, wait. 32 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,609 [Wasserman] You'’re too late. 33 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,525 The axe has fallen on our literary enterprise, 34 00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:01,224 and before you stands the grim figure of the executioner. 35 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,619 Oh, so you'’re willing to give up the literary event of the decade. 36 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,012 I'’m sorry, Professor. I'’ve made my decision. 37 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:11,016 Really? So what if I told you that the man who is coming to this year'’s festival 38 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,802 will put us back on the literary map? 39 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,760 I can'’t imagine who that might be. 40 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:18,633 Excuse me, isn'’t that sort of your job? I just-- 41 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,766 [Wasserman] Okay, Simone, who is it? 42 00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,945 Who'’s the writer that went MIA, 43 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:33,300 vanished, for 20 years after the publication of his masterpiece? 44 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:36,259 J.D. Salinger. It'’s Salinger! 45 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,434 Dead, Arthur. 46 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:39,654 Shriver. 47 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:40,829 Shriver. 48 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,222 Shriver? 49 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,354 Shriver? I thought he was dead. 50 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:57,846 Shriver, it'’s the goddamn toilet again. 51 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,249 Can you hurry up? 52 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,120 I'’m about to miss my window here. 53 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,118 [meows] 54 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,714 [Shriver] I got this letter. 55 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,195 You got a letter? 56 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,198 Now, are you in trouble? 57 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,334 "Dear, Mr. Shriver, it is my pleasure 58 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:38,033 on behalf of the festival committee of Acheron University 59 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:42,516 to invite you to participate in our literary festival this year." 60 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,780 Invite-- Wait a minute, you to participate? 61 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,825 "As your work..." 62 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:51,220 [laughing] "...your work is controversial." 63 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,396 - What do they mean? - I don'’t-- I don'’t know. 64 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,791 I-- I think they think I'’m someone else. I don'’t know. 65 00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:00,534 "The theme of which is Truths, Fictions and Alternative Facts. 66 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:05,452 It'’s al-- It'’s also, auspiciously, the 20th anniversary 67 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:08,933 of the publication of your masterpiece, 68 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:10,979 Goat Time. 69 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,982 We are also pleased to award you 70 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:18,247 this year'’s Acher-- Acheron Prize for Literary Achievement. 71 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,598 Sincerely, Professor Simone Cleary." 72 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,996 [Shriver] Goat Time. What kind of title is that? 73 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,477 - You don'’t know Goat Time? - No, I don'’t know Goat Time. 74 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:33,741 I mean, like, everybody read Goat Time, man. 75 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,699 That lady, she read Goat Time. 76 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,919 This dude-- Hey, did you read Goat Time? 77 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,311 Goat Time? 78 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,792 What'’s it about? 79 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,620 What? Goat Time. 80 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,230 I don'’t know. I didn'’t read it. 81 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,714 [Shriver] Someone'’s messing with me. 82 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:51,976 Yeah? 83 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,936 Maybe it'’s one of my ex-wife'’s friends. 84 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,852 - Maybe. - Nah. 85 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,768 Look, I know how to settle this. 86 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:03,335 - [server] Are you finished? - Oh, hey, yeah. How are you? Yeah. 87 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,511 Thank you. 88 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,732 One way to get to the bottom of this... 89 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,736 "Dear Mrs..." 90 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:16,566 No, that don'’t sound good. 91 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:20,048 "Dear... Professor." 92 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,528 Right? Right? 93 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:23,617 No, no, no, no, no. 94 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:28,186 "Dear Dr. Clearly, 95 00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,232 it would be..." 96 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,712 [Simone] "...my pleasure to attend 97 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,932 your most esteemed and prestigious festival 98 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:38,327 and to address the issues of Truths, Fictions and Alternative Facts, 99 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,938 which is totally my thing. 100 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:44,289 Uh, In fact, I was carrying on to my good friend, Lenny, 101 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,858 about that aforementioned subject just this morning. 102 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:51,035 Also, is the prize a car? [chuckles] 103 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,343 Just wondering because..." 104 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,477 Okay. 105 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:02,394 Well, he goes on about the car and, uh... 106 00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,092 [chuckling] 107 00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:11,099 We'’re all very familiar with Mr. Shriver'’s subversive sense of humor. 108 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:15,277 You know, I recall reading an article about Shriver 109 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,802 several years ago in a-- in a journal-- I can'’t remember which one. 110 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,717 It was The Journal of Comparative Linguistics. 111 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,632 It doesn'’t really matter. 112 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,940 But the article was making an interesting point of comparison 113 00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,855 between... I wrote the article. 114 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,466 ...Shriver'’s Goat Time and James Joyce'’s Ulysses. 115 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,250 Now--I wrote the fucking article, T. 116 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,948 Oh, really? 117 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,472 I still don'’t think that this is a very good idea. 118 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,779 Yeah, he sounds like a lunatic. 119 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,433 [sighs] And this the world calls frenzy. 120 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:44,698 But the wise have a far deeper madness, 121 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:48,832 and the glance of melancholy is a fearful gift. 122 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,921 Byron, right? 123 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,270 [Simone] Let'’s give up. 124 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:55,186 Just keep churning out worthless degrees 125 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,537 to anyone who will pay the tuition. 126 00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,670 One year, I-- I invited Philip Roth. 127 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:01,845 Fine. 128 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,195 But this is on you, Simone. 129 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,895 Bring Shriver and bring a crowd, 130 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:11,420 because this is the last chance for this festival. 131 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,336 He never wrote back. 132 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,601 [Simone] Dear Mr. Shriver, 133 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,603 I can'’t tell you how delighted we all are 134 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,736 that you'’ve accepted our invitation. 135 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,608 Write her back. - Tell her I'’m not coming. - You write her back. 136 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,741 I'’m not a writer. 137 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:30,004 [Simone] It'’s so hard to keep these festivals alive, 138 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,006 so your response has lifted our spirits. 139 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,747 [Lenny] Everyone'’s a writer these days. 140 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,053 When was the last time you went to Starbucks? 141 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,187 [Simone] On behalf of lovers of literature everywhere, I thank you. 142 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,624 And I hope this is not too forward of me, 143 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,495 but it would be wonderful if you could perhaps 144 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,802 share a piece of new writing with us. 145 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,109 [Shriver] I don'’t write.[Lenny] Most writers don'’t write. 146 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,241 All they do is complain about not writing, 147 00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:52,069 then they write about not writing. 148 00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:56,030 And they'’re depressed. You'’re always depressed. 149 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,179 [liquid pattering] 150 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,538 [imaginary Shriver] Looks like we'’re having a crisis of inspiration. 151 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,497 Mmm. 152 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,633 Oh, I know, it'’s that you'’re a drunk 153 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,287 and an impostor. 154 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,643 You just happen to share a name with the writer. 155 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,428 The arrogance. 156 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,474 They asked me to write something. 157 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,172 It'’s ridiculous. 158 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:52,869 Put down the pencil, 159 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,480 have a drink. 160 00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:12,323 [cracking, rumbling] 161 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,333 [narrator] The watermark appeared on my ceiling 162 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,423 on the rainy day my wife walked out on me. 163 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,737 At first it was just a spot, 164 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,044 approximately the size of a quarter, 165 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:40,308 directly above the bed where I lay weeping. 166 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,353 [rain pattering] Listening to the rain fall, 167 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,181 I watched the watermark grow 168 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,706 ever so slowly to the size of... [trailing off] 169 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,731 [pilot] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Salt Lake City. 170 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,951 Those with connecting flights to Acheron proceed to gate 17. 171 00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,040 Sorry. 172 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,522 Oh, my God! Sorry, honey. 173 00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:23,003 [passengers chattering] 174 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,880 Yep. Okay. 175 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,363 [grunts] 176 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,411 [PA dings] 177 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,804 - Hey. - Hi. 178 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,763 Oh, my God. 179 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,479 [grunts] 180 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,711 - Ma'’am. - What? What? Sorry. 181 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,279 Do you need to - go to the lavatory? - No. 182 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,673 Are-- Are you gonna vomit? 183 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:28,546 I was, uh, wondering if you could do me a favor. 184 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,245 Can you read this? 185 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,988 What the hell? Is this some kind of test? 186 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:38,165 No. I mean, is it legible? 187 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:50,742 Your penmanship is terrible. 188 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:59,664 "The watermark appeared on my ceiling..." 189 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,016 That'’s right. 190 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:06,410 Are you a writer? 191 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,849 Nah. 192 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,898 I know who you are. 193 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:18,248 - You do? - Yes, I do. 194 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,948 See? 195 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:25,908 Well, I mean, it doesn'’t exactly look like you, does it? 196 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,563 You-- You seem to let yourself go a little bit, 197 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:34,395 but this is the only picture anyone has ever seen of the mysterious Shriver. 198 00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:37,746 I'’m Delta Jones. 199 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,095 Hi. 200 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,141 I-- I'’m also writing a memoir myself. 201 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,579 I go to this festival every year. 202 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,929 Oh, and actually, if you wouldn'’t mind... 203 00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:53,805 [exhales] ...I'’d really appreciate it if you could sign this. 204 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,244 You know what'’s crazy? 205 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,942 I wasn'’t even gonna go to the festival this year. 206 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,032 Then I found out that you were coming, 207 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,861 and I was like, boom, there it is. 208 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:09,386 That'’s the sign. That'’s what I said. I was like, "That is the sign," you know, 209 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,434 because Shriver, - he will understand my work. - Yeah. 210 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:16,654 [sighs] So, yeah, let me just help you out here, um-- 211 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:20,441 If you could, just say it, "To Delta," like, right in that area. 212 00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:24,271 And-- And, please, can you try to make it remotely legible? That'’d be great. 213 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,325 I-- I can'’t. Sorry. I can'’t. 214 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,587 What? 215 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:38,981 Maybe later? 216 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,549 O-- Okay. Yeah. 217 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,681 [PA dings][flight attendant on PA] Flight attendants, 218 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:44,944 prepare for landing. 219 00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,772 ["Na Na Na" playing on car radio] 220 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:53,953 ♪ Your head Filling up with his words ♪ 221 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,916 [Delta] So, my memoir... 222 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,658 if you wouldn'’t mind taking a little peek at it.[grunts] 223 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,225 It'’s a quick read. 224 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:07,662 Uh, here you go. 225 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,056 Uh-- [grunts] 226 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,972 Oh, my God, I hope you'’re not offended by the graphic sex. 227 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,235 Wait a minute. What am I talking about? 228 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,497 Of course you wouldn'’t be. 229 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,423 Shriver? Mr. Shriver? 230 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,861 Excuse me, Miss. I gotta...[clerk] Mm-hmm. 231 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,516 I need to get on the next flight back to New York. 232 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:36,996 Hmm. 233 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:40,173 Yeah. Let me see what I can do for you. 234 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:43,263 I can get you on a flight about an hour from now. Does that work? 235 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:01,977 [Simone] Vodka martini, slightly dirty, three olives, please. 236 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,244 [sighs] 237 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:12,596 Kangaroo. 238 00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:17,427 Excuse me? 239 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:23,607 Well, martinis with gin with vodka, it'’s a kangaroo. 240 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:30,049 Well, I'’m gonna enjoy this vodka martini 241 00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:34,575 and then I just might order another vodka martini. 242 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:36,968 Sure. 243 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:41,103 Of course, if you go into a bar these days and ask for a kangaroo, 244 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:45,673 you get some beer jockey with a man bun looking at you like you'’re insane, 245 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,415 so, you probably better off just calling it, uh... 246 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,025 Yeah. 247 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,244 Oh. 248 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:57,076 Now that I have your permission, this whole exchange was meaningless. 249 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,121 Oh... 250 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,471 I suppose it was. 251 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,082 Thank you. 252 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,127 Yeah, I'’m sorry, I didn'’t mean to intrude. 253 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,563 Can we not talk? 254 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,189 [grunts] 255 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,104 You like to read? 256 00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:27,976 No, not really. 257 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,065 Oh, Okay, well, try it. 258 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,895 Or just give it to someone. 259 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:50,868 [Simone sighs] 260 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,059 Hey. 261 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,151 Excuse me, uh-- 262 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,329 Are you Professor Cleary? 263 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:18,635 ["Juno" playing on car radio] 264 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:23,510 ♪ I miss my ride ♪ 265 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:24,902 ♪ Take it all in stride...♪ 266 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,427 I suppose I owe you an apology. 267 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,519 [tires screech] 268 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:33,911 [music stops] 269 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,350 None of that ever happened. 270 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:39,613 Okay. 271 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:42,790 I need you to behave for three days. 272 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,358 Can you do that? 273 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:48,535 Yeah. 274 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,014 I need you to be 275 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,321 the man who wrote one brilliant novel. 276 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:59,589 And then you can go back to whatever hole that you have been hiding in. 277 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,728 [sighs] 278 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,732 And there'’s no car. 279 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:16,476 The prize. 280 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,697 It'’s a shitty crystal plaque. 281 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,483 [exhales] 282 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,317 [cheerleaders chattering] 283 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,801 Let'’s see, Shriver.[mouse clicking] 284 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:41,718 Shriver. Shriver. Shriver. 285 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,505 Shriver. 286 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,029 [sighs] 287 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:49,335 How long can this possibly--Ha! 288 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,685 Here you are, Mr. Shriver. 289 00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,426 And your room is already paid for. 290 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,776 May I just see a credit card for incidentals? 291 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,387 I don'’t have one. 292 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,000 I'’m afraid that'’s not possible, sir. 293 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,089 Uh, 294 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,049 it is. It'’s-- It'’s possible. 295 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,142 I just never got one. 296 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,668 [clerk] That will work. Thank you. 297 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,324 [card machine beeps] 298 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:24,935 Room service is until 8:00 p.m. 299 00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:27,982 The Rabbit Hole is open from 7:00 a.m. till midnight. 300 00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:29,331 And this is your tote. 301 00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:30,767 Thank you. 302 00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:33,988 Everything you need is in here. 303 00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:38,427 Your have your schedule. 304 00:21:42,257 --> 00:21:46,870 And, um, discount coupons for businesses in town. 305 00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:49,046 Yeah, sure. 306 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,310 I'’ll come get you in the morning. 307 00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:54,182 Yeah. 308 00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,271 [Simone] Thank you. 309 00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:02,451 What are-- What are incidentals? 310 00:22:03,583 --> 00:22:07,500 For room service, any extra costs to the room. 311 00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:09,937 - Oh, right. - Mm-hmm. 312 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,288 I won'’t do that. I won'’t do that. 313 00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,169 [mutters] 314 00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:31,567 [lock rattles] 315 00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:32,829 What the heck? 316 00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:34,614 Come on.[lock rattles] 317 00:22:35,484 --> 00:22:36,485 Come on. 318 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:38,879 Jesus Christ. 319 00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:41,360 Hey, you. 320 00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:44,667 What'’s going on? Do you need help with that? 321 00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:47,975 - No. - You'’ve got to be careful, 322 00:22:48,149 --> 00:22:51,108 '’cause with these old locks, you'’ve got to actually turn it to the left. 323 00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:53,720 Ah, there you go. 324 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:59,247 Oh, my God! Why did they not give you a nicer room than this? 325 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,423 [Shriver] Oh, really, I'’ll be fine. 326 00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:04,339 Oh, my God, you know what? Take my room. 327 00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:07,560 Oh, my God, please, please, just take my room. It'’s way nicer than this. 328 00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:10,084 Look at that old TV. Criminal. 329 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,955 I'’ll be fine. All right? 330 00:23:12,129 --> 00:23:13,914 - You sure? - I'’m sure. Thank you. 331 00:23:14,088 --> 00:23:16,307 Okay. Well, just let me know if you need anything. Okay? 332 00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:17,657 - I'’ll do that. - All right. 333 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:21,400 [breathes deeply] 334 00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:36,284 [imaginary Shriver] You almost blew it with that lovely professor back there. 335 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:40,593 How much longer do you think you can keep selling this farce to everyone else? 336 00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:47,991 Not long, I imagine. 337 00:23:48,905 --> 00:23:50,080 Hmm. 338 00:23:51,255 --> 00:23:53,867 That tag around your neck, that'’s a nice touch. 339 00:23:59,176 --> 00:24:01,222 I only wonder if your little deception 340 00:24:01,396 --> 00:24:04,051 plays out as comedy or a tragedy. 341 00:24:06,401 --> 00:24:07,881 Is there any difference? 342 00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:26,160 [narrator] The watermark appeared on my ceiling 343 00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:30,643 on the rainy day my wife walked out on me.[door opens, closes] 344 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,949 At first it was just a spot, 345 00:24:33,123 --> 00:24:35,822 approximately the size of a quarter, 346 00:24:35,996 --> 00:24:38,694 directly above the bed where I lay weeping. 347 00:24:40,435 --> 00:24:43,438 Listening to the rain fall, I watched the watermark grow 348 00:24:43,612 --> 00:24:46,615 ever so slowly to the size of a baseball. 349 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,533 After a few hours, 350 00:24:51,707 --> 00:24:53,666 the mark was as big as a honeydew melon. 351 00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:58,758 [phone rings] 352 00:25:00,368 --> 00:25:02,675 What?[Simone] Hey, I'’ll be there in ten. 353 00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:04,764 Who is this? It'’s Simone. 354 00:25:04,938 --> 00:25:05,939 Oh. 355 00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:07,288 Yeah. 356 00:25:09,290 --> 00:25:10,900 [groans] 357 00:25:15,992 --> 00:25:17,167 Uh, Shriver? 358 00:25:17,341 --> 00:25:18,386 Shriver. 359 00:25:20,344 --> 00:25:21,302 - Hey. - Hey. 360 00:25:21,476 --> 00:25:23,652 - Yeah. Wasserman. - Hey. 361 00:25:23,826 --> 00:25:25,611 You can call me T.Great. 362 00:25:25,785 --> 00:25:29,005 I'’m a-- I'’m a writer, like yourself. 363 00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:31,965 Uh-- 364 00:25:33,227 --> 00:25:36,186 I'’ll be moderating your panel tomorrow. [chuckles] 365 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,320 - Panel? - Yeah. Uh, it'’s listed in your program. 366 00:25:41,496 --> 00:25:42,802 In the tote bag. 367 00:25:44,412 --> 00:25:47,154 Hey, what do you say we go toss back a few 368 00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:49,460 and hash out some talking points? 369 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,158 I... 370 00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:52,899 [door opens] 371 00:25:53,987 --> 00:25:56,076 Well, good morning, Simone. 372 00:25:56,250 --> 00:26:01,908 You know, we all had our doubts when Simone said that she had landed you, 373 00:26:02,082 --> 00:26:03,387 but here you are. 374 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,346 - Here I am. - Here he is. 375 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,261 [laughs] Unless 376 00:26:07,435 --> 00:26:11,570 the real Shriver is still in hiding and he sent you to prank us. 377 00:26:13,136 --> 00:26:14,137 T... 378 00:26:14,311 --> 00:26:16,052 [Shriver, T. laughing] 379 00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:19,926 Hey, remind me to send you one of my books. 380 00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:22,058 That'’s generous of him. 381 00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:24,408 He can'’t pay people to haul those things away. 382 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:28,717 His last novel had an 80-page meditation on cutting hay, seriously. 383 00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:31,546 And this guy belongs to him as well. 384 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,592 He can'’t drive for obvious reasons. 385 00:26:35,202 --> 00:26:36,420 [horse blusters] 386 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:47,780 [Simone] Listen, I'’m sorry if I got a little testy with you yesterday. 387 00:26:47,954 --> 00:26:50,260 I'’ve just-- I'’ve got a lot riding on this festival. 388 00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,088 [Shriver] Oh, no, I understand. It'’s my fault. 389 00:26:52,262 --> 00:26:53,786 So you ready for this? 390 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:55,701 No. 391 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,051 Of course not. 392 00:26:58,225 --> 00:27:00,880 I'’m going to try to make this as painless as possible. 393 00:27:01,054 --> 00:27:02,621 - I promise. - All right. 394 00:27:02,795 --> 00:27:04,579 Yeah, I mean that. 395 00:27:04,753 --> 00:27:08,801 I'’m a writer. I-- I understand the solitary activity of-- 396 00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,977 Huh. I didn'’t know you were a writer. 397 00:27:11,151 --> 00:27:14,415 Well, right now, I'’m a-- I'’m a program administrator 398 00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:16,243 with a very heavy teaching schedule, 399 00:27:16,417 --> 00:27:19,072 but I-- I do carve out time every day to write. 400 00:27:19,246 --> 00:27:20,551 Yeah. 401 00:27:22,162 --> 00:27:24,120 [student] - Hey, sorry to interrupt. - Hi. 402 00:27:24,294 --> 00:27:27,863 I have Mr. Shriver'’s - per diem for him. - Great. Yeah, this is Teresa. 403 00:27:28,037 --> 00:27:29,169 She'’s a graduate TA. 404 00:27:29,343 --> 00:27:31,040 Sorry about the coins. We use the-- 405 00:27:31,214 --> 00:27:33,260 - For me? - Yeah, or if you want to just take that. 406 00:27:33,434 --> 00:27:36,219 We use the vending machines, um, on campus for the author expenses. 407 00:27:36,393 --> 00:27:37,873 And then also right now... 408 00:27:38,047 --> 00:27:39,092 Teresa......at our b-- 409 00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:40,615 Yeah, nice. 410 00:27:40,789 --> 00:27:42,748 Don'’t care. Okay, cool. Yeah. 411 00:27:42,922 --> 00:27:46,665 Oh, you know who I spoke to after I dropped you off, was your Mr. Cheadum. 412 00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:48,841 - Who? - Cheadum, your agent? 413 00:27:49,319 --> 00:27:51,408 [chuckles] 414 00:27:51,582 --> 00:27:54,716 Um, anyway, I can'’t even tell you how excited he is that you'’re back. 415 00:27:54,890 --> 00:27:57,023 And he wanted it to be a surprise, 416 00:27:57,197 --> 00:28:00,069 but I gotta tell you, he'’s gonna arrive on time for your reading. 417 00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:05,901 [coins clattering] 418 00:28:09,905 --> 00:28:11,254 - [Simone] Shriver. - Oh, shit. 419 00:28:11,428 --> 00:28:12,952 [Teresa] No, no, no. It'’s--[Shriver] Sorry. 420 00:28:13,126 --> 00:28:14,780 - [Teresa] That'’s okay. - Shriver, this is unnecessary. 421 00:28:14,954 --> 00:28:16,520 She'’s got this. - This is what she'’s here for. - Okay. 422 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:17,783 [Shriver] Sorry. 423 00:28:17,957 --> 00:28:19,610 Teresa, you can pick those up. 424 00:28:23,092 --> 00:28:25,486 [students chattering] 425 00:28:33,624 --> 00:28:34,669 Hi. 426 00:29:24,545 --> 00:29:26,547 Mr. Shriver, Mr. Shriver.[writer] Shriver. 427 00:29:26,721 --> 00:29:29,158 If you could just read my manuscript... I know you'’re gonna love it. 428 00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:32,161 You don'’t have to read it. You could just write something in support. 429 00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:34,816 I could even write it for you. It'’d be very simple. 430 00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:37,427 [clamoring] 431 00:29:37,601 --> 00:29:39,516 [no audible dialogue] 432 00:29:44,695 --> 00:29:45,784 Shriver. 433 00:29:47,089 --> 00:29:48,264 Hey, hey. 434 00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:49,439 [writer] ...talk about it? 435 00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:51,050 I really appreciate this. 436 00:29:51,224 --> 00:29:52,660 Thank you very much.[writer] Yeah. 437 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:54,096 - Thank you. - Sure. 438 00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:56,055 - [Shriver] Jesus. - Sorry about that. 439 00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:58,013 - It was a little overwhelming. - Yeah. 440 00:29:58,187 --> 00:29:59,580 [ukulele music playing] 441 00:29:59,754 --> 00:30:03,845 ♪ Shriver Are you dead or alive?♪ 442 00:30:04,019 --> 00:30:08,589 ♪ Are you underground somewhere Writing a novel?♪ 443 00:30:09,633 --> 00:30:10,939 ♪ Oh, Mr. Shriver ♪ 444 00:30:11,113 --> 00:30:12,898 That'’s really nice, but... 445 00:30:13,072 --> 00:30:14,638 ♪ ...alive, sir?♪ 446 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,815 ♪ Or just a--♪Stop. 447 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:25,127 [Simone] Are you familiar with Blythe Brown'’s work? 448 00:30:25,301 --> 00:30:27,390 [Shriver] Oh, no. I'’m not familiar with that. 449 00:30:27,564 --> 00:30:31,046 Oh, well, I'’ll make sure you-- Teresa, make sure he gets a copy of this book. 450 00:30:31,220 --> 00:30:33,179 It'’s okay. You can hold on to it. 451 00:30:33,353 --> 00:30:34,397 Thanks. 452 00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:37,052 [Brown] "She came to you. 453 00:30:37,226 --> 00:30:41,927 You, Black man, cock daddy, protector of the oppressor, 454 00:30:42,101 --> 00:30:46,322 your gun, your stick, you took her hand, 455 00:30:46,496 --> 00:30:47,715 pressed her throat, 456 00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:49,543 inhaled her face 457 00:30:49,717 --> 00:30:55,723 and took her and took her until she could take no more." 458 00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:58,508 [applause] 459 00:31:06,516 --> 00:31:08,083 What a powerful reading. 460 00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:11,043 I'’m sure you have a lot of questions for Ms. Brown, 461 00:31:11,217 --> 00:31:14,873 so, uh, if you please, line up behind these two microphones so we can begin. 462 00:31:19,616 --> 00:31:20,661 Anyone? 463 00:31:23,359 --> 00:31:25,492 [audience member coughs] 464 00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:32,325 Don'’t be shy. 465 00:31:37,199 --> 00:31:38,940 Anybody? Um-- 466 00:31:41,812 --> 00:31:43,553 Mr. Shriver has a question. 467 00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:48,645 What is it? 468 00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:50,821 [sparse applause] 469 00:31:55,783 --> 00:31:56,740 Um-- 470 00:32:08,013 --> 00:32:09,188 Have you ever... 471 00:32:11,233 --> 00:32:12,582 Uh-- 472 00:32:12,756 --> 00:32:15,585 Have you ever considered writing from a... 473 00:32:16,543 --> 00:32:17,936 male point of view? 474 00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:20,808 [audience exclaims] Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. 475 00:32:20,982 --> 00:32:22,941 [audience member] What did he say?[audience chattering] 476 00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:25,726 Hmm. 477 00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:30,905 You know, Mr. Shriver, 478 00:32:31,906 --> 00:32:33,212 I suppose your question 479 00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:35,475 is precisely what I should have expected 480 00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:38,608 from the man who wrote that overhyped, 481 00:32:38,782 --> 00:32:42,482 adolescent, macho wet dream you call a novel. 482 00:32:42,656 --> 00:32:45,224 Oh, how it scandalized housewives... Well, all right. 483 00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:47,052 ...and enthralled undergraduates. 484 00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:48,879 But let'’s face it, folks. 485 00:32:49,054 --> 00:32:51,708 The only reason we'’re even talking about Mr. Shriver 486 00:32:51,882 --> 00:32:54,537 is for his famous vanishing act.[audience laughs] 487 00:32:54,711 --> 00:32:57,192 Oh, and to answer your question, 488 00:32:58,150 --> 00:33:01,414 why the fuck should I? 489 00:33:01,588 --> 00:33:04,025 [audience exclaims, claps] 490 00:33:05,766 --> 00:33:07,115 [audience member] All right. 491 00:33:09,813 --> 00:33:13,034 Never mind. I'’m sure you'’re right. Thank you for sharing your poetry. 492 00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:15,471 [chattering, applause] 493 00:33:17,517 --> 00:33:19,998 [Simone] There'’s another question over there and then over here. 494 00:33:22,696 --> 00:33:25,046 [journalist] Shriver, you old devil. 495 00:33:26,178 --> 00:33:27,962 Still causing trouble? 496 00:33:30,399 --> 00:33:31,574 Jack Blunt. 497 00:33:31,748 --> 00:33:33,011 I interviewed you for Rolling Stone 498 00:33:33,185 --> 00:33:35,274 back when Goat Time was published. 499 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:36,927 Hey, Blunt. 500 00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:39,582 That'’s a long time ago. I hardly recognize you. 501 00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:41,628 Yeah, but we only talked on the phone. 502 00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:44,979 Oh, of course. - Sorry. Forgot. - No, that'’s no problem. 503 00:33:45,153 --> 00:33:48,287 Hey, listen, do you have, like, a few seconds to chat real quick? 504 00:33:48,461 --> 00:33:50,985 I just need a few words about why you decided 505 00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:53,727 to reemerge onto the literary scene? 506 00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:55,120 I'’m not doing interviews. 507 00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:57,426 Perfect. You can give me an exclusive. 508 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:58,819 [breathes deeply] 509 00:33:59,646 --> 00:34:01,952 I don'’t have anything to say. 510 00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:06,740 Come here for a second. I'’m-- I'’m gonna level with you. Um-- 511 00:34:06,914 --> 00:34:10,831 When I first interviewed you, I was on staff at Rolling Stone. 512 00:34:11,005 --> 00:34:12,746 Do you wanna know what I'’m doing now? 513 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,617 Hmm. 514 00:34:14,791 --> 00:34:17,794 I'’m working for some fucking online magazine doing profiles 515 00:34:17,968 --> 00:34:20,710 of twentysomething shit bag scribblers 516 00:34:20,884 --> 00:34:23,757 who aren'’t fit to lick the sweat from your balls. 517 00:34:23,931 --> 00:34:26,064 Do you feel what I'’m saying? 518 00:34:26,238 --> 00:34:29,067 I see that you'’ve reconnected with an old friend. 519 00:34:30,111 --> 00:34:31,243 Him? 520 00:34:33,027 --> 00:34:35,508 You-- You don'’t mind doing this interview, do you? 521 00:34:36,944 --> 00:34:38,467 Besides, you owe me one. 522 00:34:40,469 --> 00:34:41,514 I'’ll see you at dinner. 523 00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:43,907 I need a drink. 524 00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:46,040 [Blunt] Well, I'’m the guy. 525 00:34:49,565 --> 00:34:54,135 Twenty years ago, you burst onto the scene with this huge fucking novel. 526 00:34:54,309 --> 00:34:55,484 You'’re everywhere. 527 00:34:55,658 --> 00:34:58,705 Front page reviews, Time, Newsweek. 528 00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:00,272 No pictures. 529 00:35:00,446 --> 00:35:02,100 The more you hide, the more they write about you, 530 00:35:02,274 --> 00:35:04,798 the more the book sells. But who is this guy? 531 00:35:04,972 --> 00:35:07,801 Then you win the National Book Award. You don'’t show up to get it. 532 00:35:07,975 --> 00:35:10,847 Then it'’s the National Prize for the Humanities. 533 00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:16,331 President Bill Clinton himself is going to hang a medal around your neck. 534 00:35:16,505 --> 00:35:18,812 Surely, you'’ll emerge for this. 535 00:35:18,986 --> 00:35:20,988 I rented a freaking tux. 536 00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:22,207 And then... 537 00:35:23,599 --> 00:35:24,774 And then? 538 00:35:26,733 --> 00:35:28,604 And then nothing. You'’re gone. 539 00:35:28,778 --> 00:35:30,606 No Shriver. Poof! 540 00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:32,913 Like Keyser fucking Soöze. 541 00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:34,654 I looked everywhere for you. 542 00:35:34,828 --> 00:35:37,874 Where have you been all this time? What you been doing? 543 00:35:38,048 --> 00:35:40,050 - This and that. - Writing? 544 00:35:40,225 --> 00:35:41,878 - Some. - What do you got? Books? 545 00:35:42,052 --> 00:35:45,882 Novel, memoir, stories? What? 546 00:35:47,841 --> 00:35:51,714 Now, you show up at this amateur-hour, shit show, poor excuse for a festival? 547 00:35:51,888 --> 00:35:53,803 Come on. What is this? 548 00:35:53,977 --> 00:35:55,544 Doesn'’t make any sense. 549 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,810 I'’m on to you. 550 00:36:07,774 --> 00:36:09,123 I'’m not Shriver. 551 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,995 That'’s cute. That'’s-- 552 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:15,651 No. I mean, I'’m a Shriver. 553 00:36:16,826 --> 00:36:19,699 But I'’m not the Shriver who wrote the book. 554 00:36:20,395 --> 00:36:21,614 I'’m not that Shriver. 555 00:36:22,267 --> 00:36:23,442 Of course not. 556 00:36:24,747 --> 00:36:27,794 You'’re Shriver the shape-shifter in Goat Time 557 00:36:27,968 --> 00:36:32,102 who weaves a cocoon around himself and then emerges... 558 00:36:32,277 --> 00:36:33,669 I'’m not that Shriver....unchanged. 559 00:36:33,843 --> 00:36:35,410 You'’re reenacting the non-reinvention... 560 00:36:35,584 --> 00:36:37,804 I'’m not Shriver!...of your protagonist! 561 00:36:37,978 --> 00:36:39,327 I'’m not Shriver! 562 00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:43,462 Come on. Hey. All right. Fine. Go. 563 00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:46,421 But I'’m gonna tell you something, this goes up tonight. 564 00:36:47,509 --> 00:36:49,424 Up? What-- - What goes up? - This story. 565 00:36:49,598 --> 00:36:51,339 But I haven'’t told you anything. 566 00:36:51,513 --> 00:36:54,690 You don'’t know the beauty of Internet journalism. 567 00:36:54,864 --> 00:36:58,085 Absolutely nothing is more than enough. 568 00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:01,044 And I just had drinks with Shriver. 569 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,394 That'’s the story. 570 00:37:02,568 --> 00:37:04,874 Everything else is just filler. 571 00:37:05,048 --> 00:37:06,659 But you didn'’t. 572 00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:08,008 I didn'’t what? 573 00:37:09,139 --> 00:37:10,793 Have drinks with Shriver. 574 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:12,273 Don'’t fuck with me, Shriver. 575 00:37:28,898 --> 00:37:30,422 [no audible dialogue] 576 00:37:48,309 --> 00:37:49,310 All right. 577 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,273 All right. 578 00:37:55,969 --> 00:37:57,492 I got it. I got it. 579 00:37:57,666 --> 00:38:00,234 - What, are you following me? - And you can keep the change. 580 00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:14,727 [Simone] Uh, may I present Victor Shastri Bennet, the playwright. 581 00:38:14,901 --> 00:38:17,643 Ah, no need for formalities. Call me VSB, please. 582 00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:20,428 We'’re discussing Fugard, Soyinka 583 00:38:20,602 --> 00:38:23,518 and intertextuality as it relates to my work. 584 00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:25,128 Oh, please. 585 00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:26,869 Continue. 586 00:38:27,043 --> 00:38:28,958 This man needs a whiskey. 587 00:38:30,525 --> 00:38:33,789 Can I get a-- a kangaroo?[server] Excuse me? 588 00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:36,575 The bartender will know. 589 00:38:36,749 --> 00:38:38,968 I don'’t know if you'’ve officially met Blythe Brown, 590 00:38:39,142 --> 00:38:41,449 and this is her companion, Layla. 591 00:38:42,842 --> 00:38:45,061 So, Shriver, tell me, are you a big fan of the theater? 592 00:38:45,235 --> 00:38:47,455 Have you seen anything worth writing home about lately? 593 00:38:47,629 --> 00:38:51,024 - Mmm. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot. I'’ve seen a lot. 594 00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:53,069 What'’s that?[Layla] Like what? 595 00:38:53,243 --> 00:38:56,899 Yeah, I-- I'’ve seen some things. 596 00:38:57,073 --> 00:38:59,032 [Victor] All right. Anything of late, you know? 597 00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:04,690 Any works that you'’ve sort of been taken by? Tell me. 598 00:39:05,691 --> 00:39:08,911 Uh, yes. So, uh... 599 00:39:09,085 --> 00:39:10,130 Oh, here it is. 600 00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:13,525 [Simone] So, what do you do, Ms. Layla? 601 00:39:15,091 --> 00:39:16,397 I'’m a sculptor. 602 00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:18,791 And what is your medium? 603 00:39:18,965 --> 00:39:19,879 Pipe cleaners? 604 00:39:20,053 --> 00:39:21,620 Play-Doh? 605 00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:23,317 Uh, cake. 606 00:39:23,491 --> 00:39:24,710 - Did you say cake? - Mm-hmm. 607 00:39:24,884 --> 00:39:27,626 - Cake. - Sometimes we eat them. 608 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,976 [T.] She said cake, Shriver. Did you hear? 609 00:39:30,150 --> 00:39:31,281 Yeah. 610 00:39:31,456 --> 00:39:32,979 - [Layla] Yeah. - That'’s odd. 611 00:39:35,242 --> 00:39:36,286 Odd? 612 00:39:37,462 --> 00:39:39,594 No, that'’s not-- Oh, shit. 613 00:39:39,768 --> 00:39:41,117 That came out wrong. Uh-- 614 00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:43,337 Uh, no offense. 615 00:39:43,511 --> 00:39:45,818 I don'’t know what I find more offensive, 616 00:39:45,992 --> 00:39:50,475 your insistence on seeing the world through the prism of the sexist patriarchy 617 00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:57,177 or your belligerent refusal to take seriously the work of committed women artists. 618 00:40:00,136 --> 00:40:02,791 Yeah, I suppose you could find them equally offensive. 619 00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:05,185 Yeah. 620 00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,143 [chuckles] 621 00:40:08,362 --> 00:40:09,711 Cheers! 622 00:40:09,885 --> 00:40:13,106 [all] Cheers![laughing, chattering] 623 00:40:14,716 --> 00:40:16,892 [acoustic music playing] 624 00:40:17,066 --> 00:40:18,894 ♪ And come what may ♪ 625 00:40:20,113 --> 00:40:23,246 ♪ I'’ve always seen ♪ 626 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:27,555 ♪ Remember that Whole worlds were made...♪ 627 00:40:27,729 --> 00:40:28,730 Are you okay? 628 00:40:29,731 --> 00:40:30,950 Yeah. Fine. 629 00:40:31,951 --> 00:40:33,996 Uh-- 630 00:40:34,170 --> 00:40:38,784 Do you happen to recall when exactly, uh, this agent is arriving? My agent? 631 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:40,046 Oh. 632 00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:42,440 He didn'’t specify. 633 00:40:42,614 --> 00:40:44,790 - Okay. - He made his own arrangements. 634 00:40:46,705 --> 00:40:47,836 Oh, shit. 635 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,185 Time. 636 00:40:49,838 --> 00:40:51,274 Back to campus 637 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:54,539 for a play from our very own Victor Bennet. 638 00:40:54,713 --> 00:40:56,018 Ah... 639 00:40:56,192 --> 00:40:57,150 Really? 640 00:40:57,324 --> 00:40:59,544 [Simone chuckles] Hold up. 641 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:23,611 [Shriver] Are you sure this is okay? 642 00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:28,573 [T.] As long as Simone-- Professor Cleary doesn'’t catch us. [chuckles] 643 00:41:28,747 --> 00:41:30,749 Yeah, I don'’t want to make her angry. 644 00:41:33,969 --> 00:41:35,014 [sighs] 645 00:41:36,319 --> 00:41:38,496 You'’re sweet on her, aren'’t you, Shriver? 646 00:41:39,671 --> 00:41:40,846 No. 647 00:41:41,020 --> 00:41:42,369 [chuckles] 648 00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:43,675 Be gentle with her. 649 00:41:44,850 --> 00:41:45,981 She'’s been hurt. 650 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,419 Betrayed by the man she loved. 651 00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:51,813 Some years ago... 652 00:41:53,859 --> 00:41:55,817 fresh off of her wounds, 653 00:41:55,991 --> 00:41:58,124 Simone fell for a... 654 00:41:59,778 --> 00:42:01,823 decidedly third-rate poet. 655 00:42:08,047 --> 00:42:09,570 A traveler came by 656 00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:12,791 and silently, 657 00:42:13,879 --> 00:42:15,184 invisibly... 658 00:42:17,709 --> 00:42:19,362 took her with a sigh. 659 00:42:23,932 --> 00:42:25,368 [exhales] 660 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,545 He was maddeningly handsome, though. 661 00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:33,115 [applause, cheering in distance] 662 00:42:35,204 --> 00:42:37,555 You better, uh, get on up there. 663 00:42:37,729 --> 00:42:39,078 They'’ll miss you. 664 00:42:42,255 --> 00:42:43,386 All right. 665 00:42:53,309 --> 00:42:55,311 It'’s an hour of my life I'’m never gonna get back. 666 00:42:55,485 --> 00:42:57,313 Yeah. Yeah. 667 00:42:57,487 --> 00:43:00,752 Oh! Shriver! So, tell me, what did you think? 668 00:43:03,058 --> 00:43:04,407 Uh-- 669 00:43:05,452 --> 00:43:06,845 I'’m sorry, I missed it. 670 00:43:09,325 --> 00:43:13,329 But perhaps you would do me the honor of allowing me to read it? 671 00:43:14,722 --> 00:43:15,984 [Victor] Thank you. 672 00:43:17,551 --> 00:43:19,292 That-- That would mean a lot to me, actually. 673 00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:20,946 My pleasure. 674 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,688 Well, my public awaits. 675 00:43:23,862 --> 00:43:24,863 Yes. 676 00:43:25,037 --> 00:43:26,255 - I'’ll see you later. - Bye now. 677 00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:28,518 - Congratulations. - Thank you. Appreciate you. 678 00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:44,491 [sighs] 679 00:43:47,799 --> 00:43:48,974 Thank you 680 00:43:49,801 --> 00:43:51,063 for Victor Bennet. 681 00:43:53,065 --> 00:43:56,068 I hope you know how much it means to the university that you'’re here. 682 00:43:57,678 --> 00:43:58,810 And to me. 683 00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:08,515 For years, I'’ve been torn between fighting to make this a better place 684 00:44:08,689 --> 00:44:13,172 or just to putting 100% of my energies into making it as a writer, finally. 685 00:44:14,521 --> 00:44:17,916 Either way, I'’m just tilting at windmills, you know? 686 00:44:20,048 --> 00:44:22,616 Well, it'’s better than running into '’em. [chuckles] 687 00:44:39,459 --> 00:44:41,026 Oh, Mr. Shriver. 688 00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:01,176 [elevator dings][person chuckles] 689 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:02,917 - Jacuzzi time. - Yeah. 690 00:45:03,091 --> 00:45:04,745 - What? - Just text him. 691 00:45:04,919 --> 00:45:05,920 No. 692 00:45:11,273 --> 00:45:13,014 I'’ve got your number, buddy. 693 00:45:14,015 --> 00:45:15,408 Why? 694 00:45:15,582 --> 00:45:17,497 Something about you just doesn'’t smell right. 695 00:45:21,066 --> 00:45:22,067 [elevator dings] 696 00:45:25,461 --> 00:45:26,332 [sniffs] 697 00:45:39,824 --> 00:45:41,956 [imaginary Shriver] Well, you conned your way through day one. 698 00:45:43,392 --> 00:45:45,481 But it'’s gonna get more difficult after this. 699 00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:48,397 I don'’t know what to do. 700 00:45:48,571 --> 00:45:51,749 I'’d keep an eye on that cake lady. She could be trouble. 701 00:45:51,923 --> 00:45:53,141 And her girlfriend poet. 702 00:45:54,186 --> 00:45:56,666 Well, she hates my book, that'’s for sure. 703 00:45:56,841 --> 00:46:00,453 Your book? Listen to you, starting to believe your own bullshit. 704 00:46:00,627 --> 00:46:03,195 You can lie to them, but not me. 705 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,285 [knocks on door] 706 00:46:06,459 --> 00:46:07,765 Open up. Police. 707 00:46:09,636 --> 00:46:10,724 What? 708 00:46:12,726 --> 00:46:14,206 What'’s the problem? 709 00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:22,214 [laughs] 710 00:46:22,388 --> 00:46:25,260 There'’s no sleeping, Shriver. [chuckles] 711 00:46:27,697 --> 00:46:29,917 [Teresa] Okay.[T.] Let'’s have one of those cups, thank you. 712 00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:31,571 Are you avoiding me? 713 00:46:31,745 --> 00:46:32,790 Yes. 714 00:46:32,964 --> 00:46:34,443 Can'’t say I blame you. 715 00:46:35,270 --> 00:46:36,924 Where'’s Layla? 716 00:46:37,098 --> 00:46:39,535 In our room, - sulking as per usual. - You spilled a lot of it. 717 00:46:40,406 --> 00:46:41,276 [Teresa] Cheers. 718 00:46:41,450 --> 00:46:43,452 How dare you? 719 00:46:43,626 --> 00:46:45,890 Have a party and not even invite me, Shriver. 720 00:46:46,064 --> 00:46:47,152 Come on! 721 00:46:47,326 --> 00:46:48,675 You'’re rude. 722 00:46:48,849 --> 00:46:51,721 Ah, hey, now. Have a look at that. 723 00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:53,680 [rap music playing][chuckles] 724 00:46:53,854 --> 00:46:56,248 - Whoo! Party! - Whoo. 725 00:46:58,685 --> 00:46:59,860 Come down! 726 00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:05,431 I believe that we would be fools to pass up such an invitation. 727 00:47:06,171 --> 00:47:07,433 I'’m kind of tired. 728 00:47:07,955 --> 00:47:08,913 Shriver. 729 00:47:09,087 --> 00:47:11,480 Where'’s that bon vivant esprit 730 00:47:11,654 --> 00:47:14,614 that I would expect from the man that wrote Goat Time? 731 00:47:14,788 --> 00:47:16,050 [Teresa] T., it'’s disgusting. 732 00:47:16,224 --> 00:47:17,573 You'’re too old and decrepit 733 00:47:17,747 --> 00:47:20,272 - to be talking about that. - Bite thy tongue, lass. 734 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:24,929 I may be old, but I have poetry on my side. 735 00:47:25,103 --> 00:47:26,669 I'’m in. 736 00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:29,890 I'’m gonna call it a night. 737 00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:35,330 I'’m very disappointed in you, Shriver. 738 00:47:38,768 --> 00:47:40,553 - Come on, Teresa. - O-- Okay. 739 00:47:40,727 --> 00:47:43,382 I guess my work here is done. 740 00:47:43,556 --> 00:47:45,079 I'’ll see you in the morning. 741 00:47:45,775 --> 00:47:47,255 Where is everyone going? 742 00:47:47,429 --> 00:47:48,387 [door closes] 743 00:47:49,344 --> 00:47:52,391 Well, that broke up fast. Yeah? 744 00:47:52,565 --> 00:47:54,872 So, you know what? All good. 745 00:47:55,829 --> 00:47:57,439 You know where to find me. 746 00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:03,184 [door opens, closes] 747 00:48:06,448 --> 00:48:09,060 [music continues outside][person whooping] 748 00:48:12,324 --> 00:48:14,021 [chattering] 749 00:48:28,383 --> 00:48:30,820 [train chugging] 750 00:48:33,127 --> 00:48:35,042 [train whistle blowing] 751 00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:51,537 [narrator] All night long I lay there, wide awake, 752 00:48:51,711 --> 00:48:53,495 wondering what the watermark would look like 753 00:48:53,669 --> 00:48:56,585 when daylight started creeping in the next morning. 754 00:48:56,759 --> 00:48:59,240 [Shriver] Good night, Mr. Bojangles. 755 00:48:59,414 --> 00:49:03,114 [narrator] As dawn broke, I saw the spot had grown even more... 756 00:49:03,288 --> 00:49:05,986 [purring][Shriver] Good night, Mr. Bojangles. 757 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:10,077 [narrator] ...now to the general size and shape of an adult person. 758 00:49:10,251 --> 00:49:12,123 [Shriver] Good night, Mr. Bojangles. 759 00:49:12,297 --> 00:49:15,691 [narrator] A woman with long flowing hair. 760 00:49:15,865 --> 00:49:17,780 [Shriver] Good night, Mr. Bojangles. 761 00:49:25,397 --> 00:49:27,747 [gasps, panting][phone ringing] 762 00:49:28,791 --> 00:49:29,836 Wha-- 763 00:49:33,753 --> 00:49:35,494 [groans] Hello. 764 00:49:35,668 --> 00:49:37,713 Hi. It'’s Teresa. I'’m in the lobby. 765 00:49:38,192 --> 00:49:40,064 Who? What? 766 00:49:40,238 --> 00:49:42,675 You'’re talking to my creative writing workshop this morning. 767 00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:47,462 Mmm. No, that'’s a mistake. 768 00:49:47,636 --> 00:49:49,508 No, it'’s not a mistake. It'’s in the program. 769 00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:51,075 Didn'’t you get a program? 770 00:49:52,206 --> 00:49:54,078 Uh, no, I never got a program. 771 00:49:55,427 --> 00:49:57,951 Okay. Well, um, class starts in 20 minutes.[sighs] 772 00:50:02,869 --> 00:50:04,827 [students chattering] 773 00:50:06,220 --> 00:50:07,830 [cheerleader] - You guys grab breakfast? - Oh, crap. 774 00:50:12,096 --> 00:50:13,271 [cheerleader 2] Never stop planning. 775 00:50:13,445 --> 00:50:15,273 [cheerleader] You'’re overthinking it. 776 00:50:19,190 --> 00:50:21,714 She was at the bar, and then she would'’ve come back upstairs. 777 00:50:21,888 --> 00:50:23,933 So, if you were here last night, I'’m asking if you saw anything? 778 00:50:24,108 --> 00:50:25,239 - I don'’t know. - Excuse me. 779 00:50:25,413 --> 00:50:26,936 - Shriver! - Oh, Shriver, we gotta go. 780 00:50:27,111 --> 00:50:29,678 - Good morning, Shriver. - Uh, I locked my key in my room. 781 00:50:29,852 --> 00:50:31,245 Blythe never came back last night. 782 00:50:31,419 --> 00:50:33,247 You know that? She'’s gone. She just vanished. 783 00:50:33,421 --> 00:50:35,510 We have to go. - The class is waiting. - That'’s unfortunate. 784 00:50:35,684 --> 00:50:38,383 Maybe she just went for a walk.[Layla] Just a walk? 785 00:50:38,557 --> 00:50:44,476 - Where would she have walked to? - Well, a walk doesn'’t imply some specific destination. 786 00:50:44,650 --> 00:50:47,609 "I am he that walks with the tender and growing night." 787 00:50:47,783 --> 00:50:48,697 Whitman. 788 00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:51,570 - Okay. We have to go. - Oh, my God. 789 00:50:51,744 --> 00:50:53,833 Wasn'’t she in your room last night? 790 00:50:55,922 --> 00:50:57,315 Yeah, but she left. 791 00:50:57,489 --> 00:50:58,664 What time was that? 792 00:50:59,882 --> 00:51:01,797 - I have no idea. - How do you not know? 793 00:51:01,971 --> 00:51:04,148 The man doesn'’t know. He has more important things to think about. 794 00:51:04,322 --> 00:51:05,801 You don'’t know? I'’m gonna call the police! 795 00:51:05,975 --> 00:51:08,456 - [Teresa] We have to go. - That'’s not good. 796 00:51:08,630 --> 00:51:10,719 What do they expect from me? Your students. 797 00:51:10,893 --> 00:51:12,634 Um, like, nothing. I told them you'’re a genius. 798 00:51:12,808 --> 00:51:14,680 Whatever you say, they'’re gonna eat it up. 799 00:51:14,854 --> 00:51:17,465 I had them read the book. I think some of them actually did read it. 800 00:51:19,163 --> 00:51:22,383 Also, they all want to be writers and none of them like to read. 801 00:51:42,273 --> 00:51:43,926 Why is your book so misogynistic? 802 00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:45,276 I think it'’s erotic. 803 00:51:45,450 --> 00:51:47,278 It'’s just dirty. 804 00:51:47,452 --> 00:51:49,758 So? Life is dirty. 805 00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:52,326 And I wanna ask, why did you choose 806 00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:56,722 to name your main character after yourself? 807 00:51:56,896 --> 00:52:00,334 Uh, I couldn'’t think of another name and mine was handy. 808 00:52:01,205 --> 00:52:02,684 Well, what happened to the wife? 809 00:52:02,858 --> 00:52:04,208 How can she disappear like that? 810 00:52:04,382 --> 00:52:05,992 Well, he killed her, right? 811 00:52:06,688 --> 00:52:08,734 Nah, he didn'’t kill her. 812 00:52:08,908 --> 00:52:10,170 [student] What'’s true? 813 00:52:13,260 --> 00:52:16,220 What do you use from your imagination and what comes from your life? 814 00:52:23,009 --> 00:52:25,664 Well, to be honest, uh, 815 00:52:25,838 --> 00:52:29,537 I have trouble telling the difference between reality and imagination. 816 00:52:29,711 --> 00:52:30,799 [chuckles] 817 00:52:34,455 --> 00:52:39,895 But how do you understand your experience without imagination? 818 00:52:41,897 --> 00:52:44,987 Fiction or stories, 819 00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:48,774 it'’s a tool that humans have that no other creatures has 820 00:52:49,818 --> 00:52:52,169 to make sense of our existence. 821 00:52:53,779 --> 00:52:56,129 We create a fictional world... 822 00:52:58,349 --> 00:53:02,918 as a laboratory to make sense of the actual world. 823 00:53:06,095 --> 00:53:09,708 [imaginary Shriver breathes heavily] 824 00:53:35,821 --> 00:53:36,865 [chuckles] 825 00:53:39,651 --> 00:53:40,739 Thanks. 826 00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:03,457 [Teresa] I'’m excited for the students to meet, like, a real writer. 827 00:54:03,631 --> 00:54:05,764 [Shriver] Well, aren'’t there plenty of real writers here? 828 00:54:05,938 --> 00:54:07,200 [Teresa] T., Simone. 829 00:54:09,507 --> 00:54:11,683 It'’s like the only place you can find their books 830 00:54:11,857 --> 00:54:15,382 is in the college bookstore in the local author section. 831 00:54:18,864 --> 00:54:20,735 [Shriver] I didn'’t know Simone had published a book. 832 00:54:22,955 --> 00:54:24,826 [Teresa] She actually published two. 833 00:54:26,437 --> 00:54:28,613 And the thing is, she'’s not a bad writer. 834 00:54:29,657 --> 00:54:31,050 She'’s actually pretty good. 835 00:54:32,356 --> 00:54:34,358 She'’s just kind of like a cautionary tale. 836 00:54:34,532 --> 00:54:36,708 [Shriver] What? How'’s that? 837 00:54:36,882 --> 00:54:39,406 Because, like, when I'’m her age, I want to be in Brooklyn 838 00:54:39,580 --> 00:54:41,626 with a writing career and an editor and an agent. 839 00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,758 I don'’t want to be in fucking Acheron. 840 00:55:09,175 --> 00:55:11,090 Oh, there you are. Come on, we gotta go. 841 00:55:11,264 --> 00:55:13,353 - What? - We'’re really late. We gotta go. 842 00:55:13,527 --> 00:55:15,486 Can I-- Can I take these? 843 00:55:15,660 --> 00:55:18,315 What? Uh, yeah. Would you put these on my account? 844 00:55:19,272 --> 00:55:20,578 Thank you so much. 845 00:55:20,752 --> 00:55:21,753 I got it. 846 00:55:37,986 --> 00:55:39,814 [T. chuckles] 847 00:55:39,988 --> 00:55:44,341 Oh, you missed one hell of a party last night, Shriver. [chuckles] 848 00:55:44,515 --> 00:55:46,255 Beyond the beyond. 849 00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:51,609 But what happens at Hotel 99 stays in Hotel 99. 850 00:55:53,567 --> 00:55:56,962 But I'’m gonna write a best-selling book about that place one of these days. 851 00:55:57,136 --> 00:55:59,791 I was hoping to have you in one of the chapters. 852 00:56:01,053 --> 00:56:03,534 Didn'’t you just say what happens there stays there? 853 00:56:05,536 --> 00:56:07,102 Well...[Victor] Hi, guys. 854 00:56:07,929 --> 00:56:09,453 Hey, Victor. 855 00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:14,588 I see our, uh, favorite sapphic poet is MIA. 856 00:56:14,762 --> 00:56:16,895 I heard the authorities have been alerted. 857 00:56:17,069 --> 00:56:19,114 Authorities? What authorities? 858 00:56:21,682 --> 00:56:23,597 You seem a little worried, Shriver. 859 00:56:23,771 --> 00:56:25,469 Something you need to tell me? 860 00:56:25,643 --> 00:56:27,079 [chuckles] 861 00:56:28,776 --> 00:56:30,256 You read those? 862 00:56:30,430 --> 00:56:33,346 Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure. Very nice. They'’re, um... 863 00:56:35,043 --> 00:56:36,436 [sighs] ...domestic dramas. 864 00:56:36,610 --> 00:56:39,396 You know, women struggling to find their place. 865 00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:41,006 You seem dismissive. 866 00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:42,964 Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 867 00:56:43,138 --> 00:56:45,053 It'’s just that-- Well, I mean, 868 00:56:46,054 --> 00:56:48,143 writers like you and me, 869 00:56:49,057 --> 00:56:50,711 I mean, 870 00:56:50,885 --> 00:56:52,887 we'’re going for the big fish, aren'’t we? 871 00:56:53,061 --> 00:56:57,370 Dredging the truths from the murky depths. 872 00:56:58,327 --> 00:56:59,851 Well... [clears throat] 873 00:57:02,201 --> 00:57:03,898 Hello. Welcome. 874 00:57:04,072 --> 00:57:07,336 I know that, uh, we'’re all happy to be here. 875 00:57:07,511 --> 00:57:09,251 I certainly am. 876 00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:13,168 I'’m going to start by introducing the gentleman on my right, 877 00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:16,955 who would need no introduction if his face was a little more familiar. 878 00:57:17,129 --> 00:57:18,435 [audience chuckles] 879 00:57:18,609 --> 00:57:20,828 He'’s the author of but one novel-- 880 00:57:21,002 --> 00:57:23,657 one great novel. 881 00:57:23,831 --> 00:57:25,529 Ladies and gentlemen, Shriver. 882 00:57:25,703 --> 00:57:28,401 [applause, cheering] 883 00:57:31,404 --> 00:57:34,755 And next, I'’d like to introduce our playwright, Victor Bennet, 884 00:57:34,929 --> 00:57:37,541 who comes to us from somewhere across the ocean. 885 00:57:37,715 --> 00:57:41,501 We all had the pleasure of enjoying his hysterically funny 886 00:57:41,675 --> 00:57:46,245 and yet deeply emotional two-hander last night, right here. 887 00:57:46,419 --> 00:57:47,333 Victor Bennet. 888 00:57:47,507 --> 00:57:48,769 [applause] 889 00:57:48,943 --> 00:57:53,121 The theme for our panel discussion today is, 890 00:57:53,295 --> 00:57:56,516 are the words on the page reality 891 00:57:57,778 --> 00:57:58,910 or illusion? 892 00:58:01,042 --> 00:58:02,435 Gentlemen? 893 00:58:04,785 --> 00:58:08,223 Is not reality an illusion anyway? 894 00:58:08,397 --> 00:58:10,748 Here comes the bullshit.[Victor] Reality/illusion. 895 00:58:10,922 --> 00:58:14,055 That slash implies something synonymic, does it not? 896 00:58:14,229 --> 00:58:17,972 If I wrote fiction like my colleagues, I would be a playwright/novelist. 897 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:21,759 Nobody would argue with that. Obstetrician/gynecologist. 898 00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:24,370 AC/DC. 899 00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:25,937 [person claps] Yeah! 900 00:58:26,111 --> 00:58:27,504 I see you'’ve been jotting down 901 00:58:27,678 --> 00:58:29,897 some of your thoughts there on your pad, Shriver. 902 00:58:30,071 --> 00:58:33,422 Would you care to enlighten us? 903 00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:46,218 So, last night, from my hotel room, 904 00:58:46,392 --> 00:58:50,527 I saw this, um, group of cheerleaders, 905 00:58:50,701 --> 00:58:55,096 young women dancing and frolicking 906 00:58:55,270 --> 00:58:57,795 like children by a pool. 907 00:58:59,318 --> 00:59:05,280 And then one of these young women floated up through the air, 908 00:59:07,108 --> 00:59:10,242 gently, like a feather blown by the breeze. 909 00:59:12,244 --> 00:59:15,029 She had long blond hair and blue eyes. 910 00:59:16,335 --> 00:59:18,729 And from my window, I could have reached out 911 00:59:20,078 --> 00:59:21,906 and touched her face. 912 00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:27,694 And beyond this lovely young woman, 913 00:59:29,478 --> 00:59:35,180 I would not have been able to make out where the high desert met the night sky, 914 00:59:36,224 --> 00:59:38,357 but for an invisible line... 915 00:59:40,446 --> 00:59:43,667 that stated where the earth ended 916 00:59:44,450 --> 00:59:46,583 and millions of stars began. 917 00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:50,282 And as all of this was happening 918 00:59:51,457 --> 00:59:54,286 this long, slow freight train rolled by... 919 00:59:56,941 --> 01:00:02,250 its wheels making that clacking noise that'’s so reassuring.[train chugging] 920 01:00:04,731 --> 01:00:08,735 Right in time as it is with our own heartbeat.[heart beating] 921 01:00:15,786 --> 01:00:18,179 Or maybe I made it all up. [chuckles] 922 01:00:18,353 --> 01:00:20,268 [audience laughs] 923 01:00:20,442 --> 01:00:23,141 [laughing][applause] 924 01:00:23,315 --> 01:00:26,187 Well done. Well done.[Victor] Brilliant. 925 01:00:27,928 --> 01:00:29,669 [person whooping] 926 01:00:37,024 --> 01:00:40,071 Hey! Just the man I was looking for. 927 01:00:40,245 --> 01:00:41,550 Check this out. 928 01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:46,033 Over 100,000 hits, 600 comments and counting. 929 01:00:46,207 --> 01:00:48,906 I need to - go to the bathroom. - This lady from Toledo... 930 01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:50,168 Mr. Shriver, 931 01:00:50,342 --> 01:00:51,430 I'’m Detective Karpas. 932 01:00:52,823 --> 01:00:55,390 Are you in some kind of trouble, Shriver? 933 01:00:55,564 --> 01:00:56,783 I don'’t know. 934 01:00:56,957 --> 01:00:57,958 Please. 935 01:01:02,180 --> 01:01:04,443 [Karpas] I'’m reading your book, Mr. Shriver. 936 01:01:04,617 --> 01:01:06,575 You have an interesting perspective on life. 937 01:01:06,750 --> 01:01:08,534 Do I?Yeah. 938 01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,797 I'’d describe it as nihilistic. Wouldn'’t you? 939 01:01:12,146 --> 01:01:14,496 Yeah, - I'’m not fond of labels. - Mm-hmm. 940 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:15,846 Is that a Cuban? 941 01:01:16,020 --> 01:01:17,456 Oh. Sure is. 942 01:01:18,805 --> 01:01:21,286 You know, your characters, they have no morals, right? 943 01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:24,724 There'’s no goods, no evils. There'’s no God. 944 01:01:24,898 --> 01:01:27,118 Just debauchery and filth 945 01:01:27,292 --> 01:01:28,728 and-- and rampant infidelity. 946 01:01:28,902 --> 01:01:31,775 And, uh, well, murder, of course. 947 01:01:33,211 --> 01:01:35,082 - Yeah. - Yeah. 948 01:01:35,256 --> 01:01:38,390 I hear you'’re the last person to see Ms. Brown alive. 949 01:01:39,304 --> 01:01:40,653 Wait, she'’s dead? 950 01:01:40,827 --> 01:01:42,873 Oh, no, I didn'’t say she was dead. 951 01:01:43,047 --> 01:01:44,831 Why? Is there something you wanna tell me? 952 01:01:45,005 --> 01:01:47,573 - Is she dead? - No. No, she'’s missing. 953 01:01:47,747 --> 01:01:51,316 But, uh, you know, after 24 hours, these things rarely turn out well. 954 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,363 [clicks tongue] The night girl at the hotel says 955 01:01:55,537 --> 01:01:58,540 Ms. Brown left you a little note earlier in the evening. 956 01:02:00,455 --> 01:02:03,067 Yeah, she wanted to meet me for a drink at the bar. 957 01:02:04,024 --> 01:02:05,460 That is interesting. 958 01:02:05,634 --> 01:02:07,288 Just '’cause I have, uh, 959 01:02:07,462 --> 01:02:10,727 yeah, 400 people who witnessed you guys arguing that night. 960 01:02:13,164 --> 01:02:15,122 So, did you join her at the bar? 961 01:02:15,296 --> 01:02:16,994 No, I was tired. 962 01:02:17,168 --> 01:02:19,257 Mm-hmm. Not too tired to throw a shindig in your room, right? 963 01:02:19,431 --> 01:02:22,173 Shriver, - do you need a lawyer? - I don'’t think so. 964 01:02:25,045 --> 01:02:26,307 - Okay. - Okay. 965 01:02:26,481 --> 01:02:29,354 - See you at the soiree. - What soiree? 966 01:02:30,224 --> 01:02:31,573 Oh... 967 01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:32,792 He'’s fun. 968 01:02:33,924 --> 01:02:35,795 Listen, I-- I'’ve been digging up your past, 969 01:02:35,969 --> 01:02:39,930 and it'’s just some stuff doesn'’t exactly add up. 970 01:02:40,104 --> 01:02:42,410 Wouldn'’t happen to know where your ex-wife is, would you? 971 01:02:44,586 --> 01:02:47,546 - No. - Okay. 972 01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:49,766 Hey, I'’ll let you know if I find anything, huh? 973 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:54,901 Fuck. 974 01:02:55,989 --> 01:02:57,077 [imaginary Shriver] Oh, boy. 975 01:02:57,251 --> 01:02:58,296 Fuck. 976 01:02:58,470 --> 01:02:59,601 He thinks you killed her. 977 01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:00,907 Killed who? 978 01:03:01,081 --> 01:03:03,475 The poet, of course. 979 01:03:03,649 --> 01:03:05,129 Maybe your wife too. 980 01:03:05,869 --> 01:03:07,000 I-- I didn'’t. 981 01:03:07,174 --> 01:03:09,002 You know, it'’s, uh, interesting, 982 01:03:09,176 --> 01:03:11,700 the parallels between your life 983 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:14,573 and the protagonist in Shriver'’s book. 984 01:03:14,747 --> 01:03:15,704 Don'’t you think? 985 01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,489 [laughs] Yeah, all right. 986 01:03:17,663 --> 01:03:20,100 Just leave me alone so I can think, all right? 987 01:03:20,622 --> 01:03:21,885 Shriver. 988 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:24,975 - Oh, sorry. - Come on. 989 01:03:25,149 --> 01:03:27,934 So, I'’m gonna run some errands, and then we'’ll stop by my house and change. 990 01:03:33,635 --> 01:03:35,420 [exhales] How about me? I look like a bum. 991 01:03:35,594 --> 01:03:39,163 Oh, you'’re the writer. You'’re allowed to be who you are. 992 01:03:40,207 --> 01:03:42,079 And what about you? You'’re a writer too. 993 01:03:43,515 --> 01:03:45,778 People don'’t see me that way around here. 994 01:03:50,087 --> 01:03:51,523 I hate this party. 995 01:03:51,697 --> 01:03:53,046 I wish we could just skip it. 996 01:03:53,220 --> 01:03:55,135 - Let'’s skip it. - No, we can'’t. 997 01:03:55,309 --> 01:03:56,920 - Why not? - Because. 998 01:03:57,094 --> 01:03:59,661 Dr. Bedrosian'’s the key benefactor for the festival. 999 01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,968 This is the night that we go to her house, 1000 01:04:02,142 --> 01:04:05,319 we make her feel very important. 1001 01:04:08,409 --> 01:04:09,846 More precisely, 1002 01:04:10,020 --> 01:04:14,502 you are going to make her feel really important. 1003 01:04:15,590 --> 01:04:17,810 It'’s called singing for your supper. 1004 01:04:18,593 --> 01:04:20,291 I see. 1005 01:04:20,465 --> 01:04:23,511 I mean, to be clear, you don'’t have to sing 1006 01:04:23,685 --> 01:04:27,864 every tune Dr. Bedrosian asks you to sing. 1007 01:04:28,038 --> 01:04:29,213 You know what I mean. 1008 01:04:29,387 --> 01:04:31,868 What does Dr. Bedrosian teach? 1009 01:04:32,042 --> 01:04:34,000 Oh, she'’s not at the university. 1010 01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:36,481 She'’s a local gynecologist. 1011 01:04:37,134 --> 01:04:37,961 Huh. 1012 01:04:44,663 --> 01:04:47,884 [chuckles] You did not buy those. 1013 01:04:49,624 --> 01:04:51,278 I wanna get you to sign '’em for me. 1014 01:04:51,452 --> 01:04:54,847 I could have given you a copy. I have boxes of them. 1015 01:04:55,021 --> 01:04:56,762 Really?[softly] Yeah. 1016 01:04:56,936 --> 01:04:58,633 Your books, they should be out in the world, 1017 01:04:58,807 --> 01:05:00,897 because what I'’ve read so far is, uh-- 1018 01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:04,291 it'’s truly extraordinary. 1019 01:05:05,118 --> 01:05:06,641 I had lots of dreams. 1020 01:05:08,513 --> 01:05:10,994 But then I, you know, 1021 01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,692 had to deal with reality. 1022 01:05:15,476 --> 01:05:16,956 People try to give me advice: 1023 01:05:17,130 --> 01:05:19,480 get online, get a website, 1024 01:05:20,307 --> 01:05:21,656 build a platform. 1025 01:05:23,223 --> 01:05:25,182 They say it'’s more important than the actual writing. 1026 01:05:25,356 --> 01:05:27,097 How cynical is that? 1027 01:05:27,271 --> 01:05:30,361 You know, then there'’s... you. 1028 01:05:30,535 --> 01:05:32,667 You'’re nowhere to be found. 1029 01:05:32,841 --> 01:05:36,236 You practically deny that you'’re the author of your own book. 1030 01:05:36,410 --> 01:05:40,371 You play little mind games every time someone asks you a straight question. 1031 01:05:40,545 --> 01:05:45,637 And you, more than anyone, have let your work speak for itself. 1032 01:05:45,811 --> 01:05:50,555 I let my work speak for itself and no one listens. 1033 01:05:54,298 --> 01:05:56,517 I, uh, should finish. We'’re gonna be late. 1034 01:06:01,218 --> 01:06:02,480 I'’ll make you a deal. 1035 01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:07,746 You read me some of Goat Time-- my own private reading, 1036 01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:10,575 and I'’ll sign your books. 1037 01:06:13,534 --> 01:06:14,622 Hmm. 1038 01:06:17,538 --> 01:06:19,497 Well, what do you want me to read? 1039 01:06:19,671 --> 01:06:21,499 Just any of the pages that I dog-eared. 1040 01:06:21,673 --> 01:06:22,804 Out loud? 1041 01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:24,763 No, silently. 1042 01:06:24,937 --> 01:06:26,330 Yes, out loud. 1043 01:06:41,910 --> 01:06:43,782 "In the days, then weeks, 1044 01:06:43,956 --> 01:06:47,003 then months following my wife'’s departure, 1045 01:06:48,613 --> 01:06:50,876 I kept expecting to feel something. 1046 01:06:53,096 --> 01:06:54,532 Yet I felt nothing. 1047 01:06:54,706 --> 01:06:57,100 No grief, no loss, no sadness. 1048 01:06:58,710 --> 01:07:01,800 I experienced only weariness 1049 01:07:01,974 --> 01:07:07,110 as if I were hoisting a heavy bucket from a well of infinite depth. 1050 01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:09,634 [sniffs] 1051 01:07:09,808 --> 01:07:13,246 Then one day, as I was taking the bus, 1052 01:07:13,420 --> 01:07:17,163 heading downtown to meet Franz for lunch, I saw a man. 1053 01:07:18,599 --> 01:07:22,821 He was about my age, my height, wearing a long tweed overcoat 1054 01:07:23,822 --> 01:07:26,694 exactly like the one 1055 01:07:26,868 --> 01:07:30,046 I had left behind at a rail station many years ago. 1056 01:07:32,613 --> 01:07:35,573 That long-ago day had begun with a wintry chill 1057 01:07:35,747 --> 01:07:40,491 that blossomed into warmth as the noon hour approached. 1058 01:07:40,665 --> 01:07:43,972 I removed the coat and folded it on the bench beside me. 1059 01:07:45,017 --> 01:07:48,803 Then I dozed, dreaming, I think, 1060 01:07:48,977 --> 01:07:51,937 and woke to the final call for my train. 1061 01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:55,027 I stood and ran, leaving the coat behind. 1062 01:07:55,201 --> 01:07:59,597 It was over a year, the following winter, before I realized it was missing. 1063 01:08:01,468 --> 01:08:04,297 The more I examined the man'’s coat, 1064 01:08:05,516 --> 01:08:08,736 the more convinced I became that it had been mine. 1065 01:08:10,390 --> 01:08:12,914 Why was he wearing it? It was April. 1066 01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:15,526 I, myself, was wearing only a light jacket. 1067 01:08:17,223 --> 01:08:20,400 When the bus came to my stop, he got off. 1068 01:08:20,574 --> 01:08:22,272 I decided to follow him. 1069 01:08:22,446 --> 01:08:26,189 He crossed Seventh Avenue and began walking on 21st Street. 1070 01:08:26,363 --> 01:08:29,714 He stopped for a moment at a newsstand 1071 01:08:29,888 --> 01:08:32,499 and read the headlines on some of the tabloids. 1072 01:08:32,673 --> 01:08:34,022 He checked his watch. 1073 01:08:34,197 --> 01:08:35,720 I checked mine. 1074 01:08:35,894 --> 01:08:38,114 I followed the man for a few hundred feet 1075 01:08:38,288 --> 01:08:40,986 and saw him enter the very same café 1076 01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,163 where I had arranged to meet Franz. 1077 01:08:44,337 --> 01:08:49,473 I watched him through the window as he squeezed between several tables 1078 01:08:49,647 --> 01:08:52,040 and then, to my shock and amazement, 1079 01:08:52,954 --> 01:08:55,131 stopped and greeted Franz. 1080 01:08:56,610 --> 01:08:58,873 The two men hugged, 1081 01:08:59,047 --> 01:09:01,311 and then he sat across from Franz 1082 01:09:01,485 --> 01:09:05,097 as if he had been the one with the lunch date. 1083 01:09:05,271 --> 01:09:07,099 I stood watching them consume their meal. 1084 01:09:07,273 --> 01:09:10,624 The man had an omelet while Franz chose the salad Niçoise, 1085 01:09:10,798 --> 01:09:13,323 along with a bottle of my favorite Sancerre. 1086 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:20,373 I hated this stranger out in the world, 1087 01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:23,463 living my life, 1088 01:09:24,856 --> 01:09:27,685 eating my lunch, breathing my oxygen. 1089 01:09:30,775 --> 01:09:35,214 A time would come when circumstances would force me to confront him. 1090 01:09:36,824 --> 01:09:39,262 I walked all the way home." 1091 01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:00,805 Mmm. 1092 01:10:01,414 --> 01:10:03,895 [mouthing words] 1093 01:10:04,069 --> 01:10:05,244 Sorry. I just... 1094 01:10:10,249 --> 01:10:11,250 You look nice. 1095 01:10:13,513 --> 01:10:15,733 Nice? That-- That'’s all you-- you got? 1096 01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:17,865 Oh, no, no. I meant, uh, great. 1097 01:10:18,039 --> 01:10:21,695 Thank you. [chuckles] And, you know, spectacular. Uh, stellar. 1098 01:10:21,869 --> 01:10:23,131 Yeah? 1099 01:10:23,306 --> 01:10:25,395 Do we really have to go to this party? 1100 01:10:26,178 --> 01:10:27,875 - Yes. - Okay. 1101 01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:29,616 Oh, my purse. 1102 01:10:34,534 --> 01:10:37,233 Oh, hey. Yeah, you promised. 1103 01:10:37,407 --> 01:10:39,409 You gotta sign the book. 1104 01:10:41,889 --> 01:10:45,589 Um, why don'’t we do that after the party? 1105 01:10:47,808 --> 01:10:50,115 - Yeah, that'’s good. Yeah. - Yeah. 1106 01:10:50,898 --> 01:10:52,857 [guests chattering] 1107 01:11:01,909 --> 01:11:03,084 [Simone] Okay. 1108 01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:05,609 [sighs] Bourbon, if you don'’t mind. 1109 01:11:08,699 --> 01:11:10,135 Can we go now? 1110 01:11:10,309 --> 01:11:13,181 Okay, here she comes. Just humor her. 1111 01:11:13,356 --> 01:11:15,401 - Hello, Simone. - Hi. 1112 01:11:16,184 --> 01:11:18,752 Ah. Mr. Shriver. 1113 01:11:18,926 --> 01:11:21,233 It'’s quite an honor to have you here 1114 01:11:21,407 --> 01:11:23,279 in my not-so-humble abode. 1115 01:11:23,453 --> 01:11:24,889 Thank you. 1116 01:11:25,063 --> 01:11:27,413 I do hope you'’ll be comfortable here. 1117 01:11:27,587 --> 01:11:30,808 You know, I try to maintain a level of urban sophistication 1118 01:11:30,982 --> 01:11:32,766 in this cultural wasteland. 1119 01:11:32,940 --> 01:11:34,725 Yeah, I can see that. 1120 01:11:34,899 --> 01:11:37,815 You know, I just think it'’s important to-- to set an example. 1121 01:11:37,989 --> 01:11:41,514 And having you here is a big part of that. 1122 01:11:41,688 --> 01:11:44,256 It'’s worth every penny of my donation. 1123 01:11:45,039 --> 01:11:46,476 Now, you see, I'’m... [sighs] 1124 01:11:46,650 --> 01:11:48,956 ...I don'’t know, kind of a nut for literature. 1125 01:11:49,740 --> 01:11:50,915 Who'’s that guy? 1126 01:11:51,089 --> 01:11:53,396 I have no idea. Come and see my library. 1127 01:12:02,970 --> 01:12:05,451 This does not appear to be a library. 1128 01:12:05,625 --> 01:12:08,062 Yes, but this is where I do my best work. 1129 01:12:10,151 --> 01:12:11,718 Here it is. 1130 01:12:11,892 --> 01:12:14,199 First edition, mint condition. 1131 01:12:15,461 --> 01:12:18,856 I don'’t have to tell you, I paid a fortune for this. 1132 01:12:19,030 --> 01:12:23,121 Is there anything that I could do to get you to sign it for me? 1133 01:12:23,295 --> 01:12:24,383 [Delta] Are you a writer? 1134 01:12:27,125 --> 01:12:28,561 I know who you are. 1135 01:12:28,735 --> 01:12:29,867 [grunts] 1136 01:12:31,912 --> 01:12:33,218 Anything at all? 1137 01:12:35,612 --> 01:12:36,613 A pen. 1138 01:12:37,701 --> 01:12:38,832 Pen. 1139 01:12:39,006 --> 01:12:40,530 I think I need to go to the bathroom. 1140 01:12:41,574 --> 01:12:42,575 Jesus. 1141 01:12:55,022 --> 01:12:56,894 [phone rings] 1142 01:12:57,068 --> 01:12:58,461 Hey, hey. 1143 01:12:59,940 --> 01:13:02,421 Shriver residence. Jeeves here. 1144 01:13:02,595 --> 01:13:03,727 [Shriver] Lenny, it'’s me. 1145 01:13:03,901 --> 01:13:05,772 What'’s the prize? 1146 01:13:05,946 --> 01:13:07,818 I think I'’m Shriver. Yeah, you'’re Shriver. What? So? 1147 01:13:07,992 --> 01:13:11,517 No, the Shriver. It'’s nuts, but it all fits. 1148 01:13:11,691 --> 01:13:14,259 I'’m remembering his life. My life. 1149 01:13:14,433 --> 01:13:19,220 I-- What have you been smoking out there? I mean, that is crazy. 1150 01:13:20,439 --> 01:13:21,962 Is everything okay in there? 1151 01:13:22,746 --> 01:13:24,356 Yeah, I'’m fine. 1152 01:13:25,488 --> 01:13:27,228 - [Lenny] What? - It all makes sense now. 1153 01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:29,840 I'’m not an impostor. I wrote Goat Time. 1154 01:13:30,014 --> 01:13:31,929 It'’s all inside me. 1155 01:13:32,103 --> 01:13:35,062 Forgetting that you wrote a book and being a famous person? 1156 01:13:35,236 --> 01:13:37,500 I don'’t know. Really? 1157 01:13:37,674 --> 01:13:39,893 Writing that book cost me everything. 1158 01:13:40,067 --> 01:13:42,069 And I-- If I could forget that, 1159 01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:45,725 do you think it'’s possible I could forget committing a murder? 1160 01:13:47,118 --> 01:13:49,990 Uh, you'’re just talking hypothetical, right? 1161 01:13:50,164 --> 01:13:53,603 I-- I don'’t know. All I know is I'’m Shriver. 1162 01:13:54,604 --> 01:13:56,214 And I might be in trouble. 1163 01:13:58,042 --> 01:14:00,479 Okay. [chuckles] Sure. 1164 01:14:00,653 --> 01:14:03,090 No, I'’m Shriver. 1165 01:14:06,311 --> 01:14:08,052 I am the Shriver. 1166 01:14:09,183 --> 01:14:10,576 [gasps] 1167 01:14:10,750 --> 01:14:12,926 All right, all right. Take a pill, man. 1168 01:14:13,100 --> 01:14:14,450 I'’m Shriver! 1169 01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:16,364 Hello? 1170 01:14:17,844 --> 01:14:20,630 Oh, I was beginning to worry about you. 1171 01:14:22,762 --> 01:14:24,024 Sorry. 1172 01:14:38,299 --> 01:14:39,562 [grunts] 1173 01:14:39,736 --> 01:14:42,956 So, uh, what about dinner? 1174 01:14:43,130 --> 01:14:45,698 Dinner can wait. But I'’m famished now. 1175 01:14:45,872 --> 01:14:48,005 Oh, please, talk to me about literature. 1176 01:14:48,179 --> 01:14:49,310 [grunts] 1177 01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:52,009 I had this bed shipped from Positano. 1178 01:14:52,183 --> 01:14:55,012 Oh, she weighs so much, we had to reinforce the floor underneath her. 1179 01:14:55,186 --> 01:14:58,494 I want you to read my novel. It'’s a guaranteed bestseller. 1180 01:14:58,668 --> 01:15:01,192 Oh, it'’s got everything. Violence and sex. 1181 01:15:01,366 --> 01:15:02,585 Yeah. 1182 01:15:02,759 --> 01:15:04,804 It'’s about a beautiful gynecologist 1183 01:15:04,978 --> 01:15:06,632 who has a deep, dark secret. 1184 01:15:06,806 --> 01:15:09,243 Yeah, I know. It'’s about me. 1185 01:15:09,417 --> 01:15:11,028 You know what they say, "Write what you know." 1186 01:15:11,202 --> 01:15:13,421 I want you to be hard on me, okay? 1187 01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:17,817 Yes, yes, come on, - you literary lion! - You! 1188 01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:19,036 What? 1189 01:15:19,210 --> 01:15:20,559 Trust me doctor, 1190 01:15:20,733 --> 01:15:24,084 this is one face not worthy of your wall of fame. 1191 01:15:24,258 --> 01:15:25,695 Simone. [grunts] 1192 01:15:25,869 --> 01:15:26,696 I gotta go. 1193 01:15:26,870 --> 01:15:28,959 Geez! But-- [scoffs] 1194 01:15:30,177 --> 01:15:31,527 You forgot my novel. 1195 01:15:34,617 --> 01:15:36,749 Simone. Simone! 1196 01:15:39,404 --> 01:15:41,275 [sighs] 1197 01:15:59,380 --> 01:16:01,034 [Simone] There has to be something. 1198 01:16:01,208 --> 01:16:02,949 Just like, any room. 1199 01:16:04,516 --> 01:16:06,257 Simone? 1200 01:16:06,431 --> 01:16:07,867 Oh. [chuckles] That'’s me. 1201 01:16:08,041 --> 01:16:09,347 Who the fuck are you? 1202 01:16:10,478 --> 01:16:12,045 - I'’m Shriver. - You know, I'’ve been wondering 1203 01:16:12,219 --> 01:16:14,787 why you'’ve been acting so evasive since you arrived, 1204 01:16:14,961 --> 01:16:17,137 and someone just showed up and gave me the answer. 1205 01:16:17,311 --> 01:16:19,749 So, you'’re not mad about the gynecologist? 1206 01:16:19,923 --> 01:16:21,054 Oh, please. 1207 01:16:21,228 --> 01:16:23,404 That'’s a relief. But, Simone-- 1208 01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:26,582 No, no, no, no. Don'’t "Simone" me, whoever you are. 1209 01:16:26,756 --> 01:16:31,238 I mean, can you honestly tell me that you haven'’t been lying to me since you got here? 1210 01:16:34,024 --> 01:16:36,461 Well, that'’s a complicated question. 1211 01:16:36,635 --> 01:16:38,463 Well, technically, I'’ve been lying. 1212 01:16:38,637 --> 01:16:39,682 [door opens] 1213 01:16:39,856 --> 01:16:41,988 But it turns out the lies are true. 1214 01:16:43,163 --> 01:16:44,425 Oh, my God. 1215 01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,471 This place is disgusting, Simone. 1216 01:16:46,645 --> 01:16:48,125 There'’s not even paper towels in there. 1217 01:16:48,299 --> 01:16:49,605 Who is this guy? 1218 01:16:49,779 --> 01:16:50,823 I'’m Shriver. 1219 01:16:50,997 --> 01:16:52,738 Oh! There he is. 1220 01:16:52,912 --> 01:16:55,349 The man of the hour. My doppelgaänger. 1221 01:16:55,523 --> 01:16:57,743 You, sir, have caused me quite a headache. 1222 01:16:57,917 --> 01:16:59,658 I was at a beautiful ashram, 1223 01:16:59,832 --> 01:17:04,576 and I was about this close to achieving pure bliss and happiness 1224 01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:06,143 - when I got a phone call. - Look, buddy, 1225 01:17:06,317 --> 01:17:07,448 I don'’t know who you think you are, 1226 01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:08,885 but Mr. Shriver is over here. 1227 01:17:09,059 --> 01:17:10,930 No, he definitely isn'’t. 1228 01:17:11,104 --> 01:17:13,411 And I think you need to crawl back to wherever you came from 1229 01:17:13,585 --> 01:17:16,544 because you'’re upsetting this particularly beautiful lady right here. 1230 01:17:16,719 --> 01:17:19,243 You stay away from her, you impostor. 1231 01:17:19,417 --> 01:17:21,549 Impostor? You, my friend, are the impostor. 1232 01:17:21,724 --> 01:17:25,249 Yeah, how can you prove that you'’re the real Shriver? 1233 01:17:25,423 --> 01:17:28,818 Why don'’t you look at my driver'’s license or any of my credit cards? 1234 01:17:28,992 --> 01:17:31,255 Here is my National Book Award. 1235 01:17:31,429 --> 01:17:33,823 This is, uh, an invitation from the Clintons 1236 01:17:33,997 --> 01:17:36,782 to get the National Prize for Humanitarianism. 1237 01:17:36,956 --> 01:17:38,610 Bill'’s a personal friend. 1238 01:17:42,179 --> 01:17:44,834 Okay. Yeah, it'’s pretty convincing. 1239 01:17:45,008 --> 01:17:47,488 You just carry this around - with you? - Yes, I do. 1240 01:17:49,273 --> 01:17:52,450 To think I was actually beginning... 1241 01:17:57,194 --> 01:17:58,151 Simone. 1242 01:17:58,325 --> 01:17:59,500 [real Shriver] Thank you. 1243 01:18:00,066 --> 01:18:01,502 Hmm. 1244 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,374 You'’re welcome to come hear me read 1245 01:18:03,548 --> 01:18:06,377 if you can stomach the humiliation. 1246 01:18:06,551 --> 01:18:08,553 - [Simone] Excuse me. - Where are you going? 1247 01:18:10,555 --> 01:18:11,599 [scoffs] 1248 01:18:15,952 --> 01:18:17,475 Shriver, who is that guy? 1249 01:18:20,217 --> 01:18:22,045 He'’s me, I guess. 1250 01:18:27,180 --> 01:18:28,486 It'’s okay. 1251 01:18:39,932 --> 01:18:42,674 That other Shriver is probably with her right now. 1252 01:18:45,155 --> 01:18:48,245 She'’s kissing him, saying, "Oh, Shriver." 1253 01:18:48,419 --> 01:18:50,290 [chuckles] Shut up. She'’s not. 1254 01:18:50,464 --> 01:18:53,163 I think she has a weakness for writers. 1255 01:18:53,990 --> 01:18:55,078 Yeah. 1256 01:18:55,252 --> 01:18:57,515 I mean, who wouldn'’t? Of course. 1257 01:18:57,689 --> 01:19:00,561 You forget, Mr. Shriver, that I knew Ms. Cleary 1258 01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:04,087 way back when she was Simone Wasserman. 1259 01:19:06,480 --> 01:19:09,048 Oh, wow. 1260 01:19:09,222 --> 01:19:10,702 You didn'’t know. 1261 01:19:18,144 --> 01:19:20,625 So, he'’s the one who broke her heart. 1262 01:19:20,799 --> 01:19:25,543 No. She chucked him like a stinky old shoe years ago. 1263 01:19:25,717 --> 01:19:27,110 Ah... 1264 01:19:27,284 --> 01:19:28,764 [sighs] 1265 01:19:28,938 --> 01:19:31,549 He wasn'’t always the pickled poet you see today. 1266 01:19:31,723 --> 01:19:34,073 He was her teacher. Well, her mentor. 1267 01:19:34,247 --> 01:19:37,294 That was until she clearly surpassed him in every way. 1268 01:19:38,599 --> 01:19:42,212 People started paying attention, and he couldn'’t deal. 1269 01:19:42,386 --> 01:19:44,127 He undermined her confidence 1270 01:19:44,301 --> 01:19:47,478 and dragged her down every chance he got. 1271 01:19:47,652 --> 01:19:50,089 It'’s crazy because I recognized her 1272 01:19:50,263 --> 01:19:54,572 in this article that I was reading about impostor syndrome in high-achieving women. 1273 01:19:54,746 --> 01:19:57,009 Now, you wouldn'’t get this '’cause you'’re a man, 1274 01:19:58,489 --> 01:20:00,404 but, basically, she believed his bullshit, 1275 01:20:00,578 --> 01:20:02,406 and she lost her confidence. 1276 01:20:02,580 --> 01:20:06,802 But eventually, she got the courage to give him the old heave-ho. 1277 01:20:10,196 --> 01:20:12,242 And he has been spending the last five years 1278 01:20:12,416 --> 01:20:14,853 desperately trying to make amends. 1279 01:20:15,027 --> 01:20:16,899 And that and drinking. 1280 01:20:17,073 --> 01:20:18,901 - [Karpas] There you are. - Oh, Jesus. 1281 01:20:19,075 --> 01:20:20,467 What? 1282 01:20:20,641 --> 01:20:22,818 I have been looking all over for you, Shriver. 1283 01:20:25,211 --> 01:20:27,213 What'’s new, Detective? 1284 01:20:27,387 --> 01:20:31,130 Well, I had a nice chat with, uh, one of the cheerleaders 1285 01:20:31,304 --> 01:20:33,437 in town for the competition earlier tonight. 1286 01:20:33,611 --> 01:20:36,614 Uh, Sophie something. She'’s a lovely girl. 1287 01:20:36,788 --> 01:20:38,572 - Beautiful young lady. - Yeah. 1288 01:20:38,746 --> 01:20:40,879 You know, if I ever have a daughter, 1289 01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:44,448 she'’s exactly what I imagined she'’d be like at that age. 1290 01:20:44,622 --> 01:20:47,538 Anyway, she said she saw Ms. Brown in your room late that night. 1291 01:20:49,670 --> 01:20:51,803 She said she saw Ms. Brown? 1292 01:20:53,370 --> 01:20:54,980 She was, uh-- 1293 01:20:55,154 --> 01:20:57,374 Yeah, she was-- she was performing an aerial flip. 1294 01:20:57,548 --> 01:21:00,420 Pretty much as you described it earlier today. 1295 01:21:00,594 --> 01:21:03,162 She said Ms. Brown was passed out on your bed. 1296 01:21:04,816 --> 01:21:07,036 I have no recollection of that. 1297 01:21:08,167 --> 01:21:10,561 You'’re the last known sighting of our poet. 1298 01:21:11,823 --> 01:21:13,303 Excuse me. I'’m sorry, 1299 01:21:13,477 --> 01:21:15,305 are you trying to insinuate that Mr. Shriver had any-- 1300 01:21:15,479 --> 01:21:16,959 Everyone'’s a suspect. 1301 01:21:17,698 --> 01:21:18,743 Everyone. 1302 01:21:19,396 --> 01:21:20,701 Okay. 1303 01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,008 Well, then are you investigating the impostor 1304 01:21:23,182 --> 01:21:26,011 that is running around here pretending to be our Shriver? 1305 01:21:26,185 --> 01:21:29,188 Impostor? - Okay. - Yeah. 1306 01:21:29,362 --> 01:21:31,408 And while you'’re in your little notebook... Uh-huh. 1307 01:21:31,582 --> 01:21:36,108 ...also take note that Ms. Brown had left the room while I was in there. 1308 01:21:39,155 --> 01:21:40,417 [inhales] 1309 01:21:41,461 --> 01:21:43,159 Sophie didn'’t mention seeing you there. 1310 01:21:43,333 --> 01:21:45,596 Yeah, well, I must have been in the can. 1311 01:21:48,773 --> 01:21:49,817 I see. 1312 01:21:53,343 --> 01:21:55,214 - [Karpas] Hmm. - Hey, Detective. 1313 01:21:55,388 --> 01:21:58,043 Didn'’t you say you were trying to track down my ex-wife? 1314 01:21:58,217 --> 01:21:59,915 Yeah. Yeah, that is an interesting case. 1315 01:22:00,089 --> 01:22:02,743 But I believe the answers are out there. 1316 01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,876 Hey, some might be in here. 1317 01:22:13,363 --> 01:22:14,451 [exhales sharply] 1318 01:22:15,626 --> 01:22:16,801 [chuckles] 1319 01:22:18,020 --> 01:22:19,630 Wow. 1320 01:22:19,804 --> 01:22:25,418 This is probably the best festival I'’ve ever been to. 1321 01:22:25,592 --> 01:22:27,029 This shit is wild! 1322 01:22:54,404 --> 01:22:55,361 Hi. 1323 01:22:55,535 --> 01:22:56,754 Hi. 1324 01:22:58,843 --> 01:23:01,977 Uh, I locked my key in my room, so... 1325 01:23:02,586 --> 01:23:03,717 Oh. 1326 01:23:03,891 --> 01:23:04,892 Sorry. 1327 01:23:05,545 --> 01:23:06,938 You look stressed. 1328 01:23:07,112 --> 01:23:10,420 Things are going poorly for me. 1329 01:23:10,594 --> 01:23:12,683 They say you'’re a famous writer named Shriver. 1330 01:23:14,293 --> 01:23:16,992 There seems to be some disagreement about that. 1331 01:23:18,558 --> 01:23:19,777 I'’m gonna cheer for you. 1332 01:23:22,214 --> 01:23:24,390 ♪ Shriver, Shriver Ready to write ♪ 1333 01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:26,392 ♪ Get on out there Fight, fight, fight ♪ 1334 01:23:26,566 --> 01:23:28,612 ♪ The pen is mightier Than the sword, they say ♪ 1335 01:23:28,786 --> 01:23:31,006 ♪ So you can crush them Any day ♪ 1336 01:23:34,618 --> 01:23:35,880 Does that help people? 1337 01:23:36,054 --> 01:23:37,273 Seems to. 1338 01:23:40,972 --> 01:23:42,930 - Finals are today. - Good luck. 1339 01:23:43,105 --> 01:23:44,584 Don'’t need it. 1340 01:23:47,761 --> 01:23:49,676 Hey, excuse me. I, uh-- 1341 01:23:49,850 --> 01:23:52,723 I need a key for my room. I got locked out of my room yesterday. 1342 01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:54,203 Um... 1343 01:23:55,508 --> 01:23:56,901 I don'’t seem to have one. 1344 01:23:58,511 --> 01:24:00,992 What about the maid? Does the maid have one? 1345 01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:03,734 Why don'’t you go grab some breakfast while I go find her? 1346 01:24:04,387 --> 01:24:05,475 Hmm. 1347 01:24:05,649 --> 01:24:08,391 Oh, wait. She'’s out sick today. 1348 01:24:08,565 --> 01:24:10,523 She-- You-- 1349 01:24:10,697 --> 01:24:12,482 What do you mean? What kind of hotel is this? 1350 01:24:12,656 --> 01:24:14,179 You got one maid for the whole place? 1351 01:24:14,353 --> 01:24:16,616 Yeah. She'’s really fast. 1352 01:24:16,790 --> 01:24:18,923 Who is this guy? 1353 01:24:19,097 --> 01:24:21,143 He'’s me, apparently. 1354 01:24:22,231 --> 01:24:23,710 What? Okay, 1355 01:24:23,884 --> 01:24:28,106 I heard that you explored Dr. Bedrosian'’s library. 1356 01:24:29,455 --> 01:24:31,153 I swear to God, I didn'’t do anything. 1357 01:24:31,327 --> 01:24:33,503 - Really? You'’d be the first. - Yeah. 1358 01:24:36,288 --> 01:24:37,942 Uh-oh. 1359 01:24:38,116 --> 01:24:39,770 Oh, don'’t-- don'’t say I'’m here. 1360 01:24:41,989 --> 01:24:44,775 Teresa. Have you seen him? 1361 01:24:44,949 --> 01:24:46,603 Seen who?[Simone] You know who. 1362 01:24:46,777 --> 01:24:48,561 I'’ll bet you that'’s his porridge. 1363 01:24:49,910 --> 01:24:51,912 Well, is-- is it his? 1364 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:53,262 He left. 1365 01:24:57,179 --> 01:25:00,356 The lady from the college says you have to be out of your room by checkout time. 1366 01:25:00,530 --> 01:25:01,792 When'’s checkout time? 1367 01:25:01,966 --> 01:25:03,446 Half an hour ago. 1368 01:25:03,620 --> 01:25:05,317 We'’re gonna have to charge you for an extra day. 1369 01:25:05,491 --> 01:25:06,710 May I have a credit card? 1370 01:25:07,885 --> 01:25:09,582 [door opens][Teresa] All right, 1371 01:25:09,756 --> 01:25:12,716 you can stay at my place just until we find the key. 1372 01:25:12,890 --> 01:25:14,718 - Oh, damn. - It'’s not that bad. 1373 01:25:14,892 --> 01:25:16,023 Not that. 1374 01:25:16,198 --> 01:25:19,201 You made my month, friend. 1375 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:23,248 You have given me the literary story of the year. 1376 01:25:23,422 --> 01:25:28,384 An impostor shows up pretending to be the reclusive author. 1377 01:25:28,558 --> 01:25:32,170 My story forces the real author out of hiding. 1378 01:25:32,344 --> 01:25:35,478 I mean, this is just unbelievably ironic. 1379 01:25:35,652 --> 01:25:37,219 I'’m gonna sell it to The New Yorker. 1380 01:25:39,090 --> 01:25:41,092 All right, let'’s go. 1381 01:25:41,266 --> 01:25:42,267 Sorry. 1382 01:25:45,444 --> 01:25:47,620 [knocks on door] Are you good in there? 1383 01:25:48,752 --> 01:25:50,275 I'’m fine. 1384 01:25:50,449 --> 01:25:52,016 [doorbell rings] 1385 01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:55,411 [T.] All right, where is he?[door closes] 1386 01:25:57,195 --> 01:25:58,675 Shriver![knocks on door] 1387 01:25:58,849 --> 01:26:00,198 Shriver! 1388 01:26:00,372 --> 01:26:01,721 Shriver. 1389 01:26:04,376 --> 01:26:05,769 Shriver![grunts] 1390 01:26:05,943 --> 01:26:08,598 Shriver! What are you gonna do about this? 1391 01:26:09,947 --> 01:26:11,253 I need a towel. 1392 01:26:13,559 --> 01:26:17,781 This is one of the great literary hoaxes of all time. 1393 01:26:17,955 --> 01:26:21,001 We have a brazen impostor in our midst. 1394 01:26:21,176 --> 01:26:22,960 Well, are you talking about me or him? 1395 01:26:23,134 --> 01:26:26,485 When I first heard about the charlatan, I so wanted to believe him. 1396 01:26:27,573 --> 01:26:30,533 Okay, I-- I doubted you for a moment. 1397 01:26:32,012 --> 01:26:33,710 I was jealous. 1398 01:26:33,884 --> 01:26:36,408 I could see my ex-wife was falling in love with you. 1399 01:26:37,235 --> 01:26:38,889 - Love? - Never in my days 1400 01:26:39,063 --> 01:26:41,239 have I seen a writer, a real writer, 1401 01:26:41,413 --> 01:26:44,938 who didn'’t walk around thinking his shit didn'’t smell like eau de cologne. 1402 01:26:45,112 --> 01:26:46,766 But you, Shriver... [chuckles] 1403 01:26:46,940 --> 01:26:49,421 ...you walk around like an insecure grad student, 1404 01:26:49,595 --> 01:26:51,423 waiting for someone to come up and say, 1405 01:26:51,597 --> 01:26:55,427 "Okay, time to hang up the pen. Start mongering fish for a living." 1406 01:26:57,603 --> 01:26:58,865 What happened to you? 1407 01:27:00,824 --> 01:27:02,391 I have theories. 1408 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:04,219 Me too. 1409 01:27:04,393 --> 01:27:06,873 You'’re crazy. [laughs] 1410 01:27:07,047 --> 01:27:09,615 You know how I know that? '’Cause I'’m crazy too. 1411 01:27:09,789 --> 01:27:12,183 I'’m just not crazy enough to believe for a moment 1412 01:27:12,357 --> 01:27:14,751 that you aren'’t the author of Goat Time. 1413 01:27:14,925 --> 01:27:17,928 Now, get your ass out of there. Come on. 1414 01:27:18,102 --> 01:27:22,454 In 15 minutes, that fraud is gonna be feted by the university president. 1415 01:27:22,628 --> 01:27:24,935 Then he'’s going to be escorted over to the auditorium, 1416 01:27:25,109 --> 01:27:29,853 where he'’s gonna read from your book and claim your prize. 1417 01:27:30,027 --> 01:27:31,768 And, no, it'’s not a car. 1418 01:27:31,942 --> 01:27:34,336 It'’s a crappy plaque. 1419 01:27:46,652 --> 01:27:47,653 We'’re off. 1420 01:27:49,438 --> 01:27:51,788 - Where'’s Teresa? - Oh. [chuckles] 1421 01:27:51,962 --> 01:27:54,530 She went over to straighten out your situation at the hotel. 1422 01:27:54,704 --> 01:27:56,271 How we gonna get to the university? 1423 01:27:56,880 --> 01:27:58,621 [horse whinnies] 1424 01:27:59,926 --> 01:28:01,798 [classical music playing] 1425 01:28:11,851 --> 01:28:13,766 [no audible dialogue] 1426 01:28:21,861 --> 01:28:22,949 [tapping on microphone] 1427 01:28:37,529 --> 01:28:38,661 [music ends] 1428 01:28:38,835 --> 01:28:40,010 Here you go, my good man. 1429 01:28:41,707 --> 01:28:44,319 Ah, if it isn'’t Victor Lustig here to sell us the Eiffel Tower. 1430 01:28:44,493 --> 01:28:46,321 Ladies and gentlemen, 1431 01:28:46,495 --> 01:28:49,019 I give you Shriver.[college president] What'’s going on here? 1432 01:28:49,193 --> 01:28:51,369 Okay, you got a lot of balls. The both of you. 1433 01:28:51,543 --> 01:28:53,806 No, I-- I just wanna apologize. That'’s all. 1434 01:28:53,980 --> 01:28:55,199 What the hell for? 1435 01:28:55,373 --> 01:28:57,244 Because I came here under false pretenses. 1436 01:28:57,419 --> 01:28:58,898 Apology not accepted. 1437 01:29:01,640 --> 01:29:03,860 - That man is a fraud. - Oh, come on. 1438 01:29:04,034 --> 01:29:08,125 - A fake. An impostor. - Would you shut up, you smelly old drunk? 1439 01:29:08,299 --> 01:29:10,910 Say what you need to say and you go. 1440 01:29:12,608 --> 01:29:14,174 Go get her, Shriver. 1441 01:29:30,365 --> 01:29:34,456 Look, first of all, I, uh-- I really just wanted to say 1442 01:29:34,630 --> 01:29:38,373 what a privilege it has been for me to be here, 1443 01:29:39,635 --> 01:29:41,811 to be amongst all of you. 1444 01:29:41,985 --> 01:29:47,425 Mr. Bennet, I am so looking forward to finally attending one of your performances. 1445 01:29:48,383 --> 01:29:51,690 I wish that Ms. Brown was here, 1446 01:29:51,864 --> 01:29:55,825 but I'’m going to read every single one of her poems. 1447 01:29:57,783 --> 01:30:00,003 And, uh, to Ms. Layla, 1448 01:30:00,177 --> 01:30:03,136 I hope one day that you'’ll do me the privilege 1449 01:30:03,310 --> 01:30:06,183 of allowing me to eat one of your sculptures. 1450 01:30:06,357 --> 01:30:11,797 T., Ms. Teresa, all of you, just such extraordinary people. 1451 01:30:11,971 --> 01:30:15,714 You'’ve treated me with respect and courtesy, 1452 01:30:15,888 --> 01:30:17,542 and I will always remember you. 1453 01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:20,371 Very fondly. 1454 01:30:23,330 --> 01:30:26,116 But most of all, I wanted to thank Professor Cleary 1455 01:30:26,290 --> 01:30:31,295 for allowing me the opportunity to find myself. 1456 01:30:32,209 --> 01:30:33,166 It'’s a-- 1457 01:30:33,340 --> 01:30:34,951 [Brown] This is wonderful. 1458 01:30:35,125 --> 01:30:37,127 This is the most wonderful thing I'’ve read in ages. 1459 01:30:37,301 --> 01:30:39,477 She was hiding in your room the whole time. 1460 01:30:39,651 --> 01:30:42,349 I fell asleep under your bed and woke up yesterday afternoon. 1461 01:30:42,524 --> 01:30:45,788 I didn'’t wanna deal with Layla, so I started writing some new poetry, 1462 01:30:45,962 --> 01:30:49,661 and when you didn'’t come back to your hotel room last night, I figured I'’d stay another day. 1463 01:30:49,835 --> 01:30:51,750 And that'’s-- [chuckles] 1464 01:30:51,924 --> 01:30:53,796 That'’s when I found this. 1465 01:30:53,970 --> 01:30:56,625 This masterpiece. 1466 01:30:57,364 --> 01:30:58,757 [Victor] What did you eat? 1467 01:30:58,931 --> 01:31:00,846 Just sort of curious, I guess. 1468 01:31:01,020 --> 01:31:02,587 His granola bars. 1469 01:31:03,893 --> 01:31:05,547 In your tote bag. 1470 01:31:05,721 --> 01:31:09,159 Okay, okay, okay. Can we please put an end to this buffoonery? 1471 01:31:09,333 --> 01:31:10,682 I'’m sorry. This is ridiculous. I-- 1472 01:31:10,856 --> 01:31:11,770 Come on, Simone. 1473 01:31:11,944 --> 01:31:13,598 Uh, who'’s this? 1474 01:31:13,772 --> 01:31:15,513 Well, I think Shriver-- 1475 01:31:15,687 --> 01:31:16,732 Yes, I'’m Shriver. 1476 01:31:16,906 --> 01:31:18,647 That'’s-- That'’s cuckoo. 1477 01:31:19,169 --> 01:31:20,475 You'’re cuckoo. 1478 01:31:24,391 --> 01:31:27,133 May I present Mr. Cheadum. 1479 01:31:28,221 --> 01:31:30,789 Shriver'’s agent.[crowd murmuring] 1480 01:31:30,963 --> 01:31:32,574 Good to see you again, Shriver. 1481 01:31:32,748 --> 01:31:34,489 Good to see you. - Looking good. - Yes. 1482 01:31:34,663 --> 01:31:36,491 Thank you. Well, this settles that. So why don'’t you two-- 1483 01:31:36,665 --> 01:31:37,840 Settles what? 1484 01:31:38,014 --> 01:31:40,756 This is the real Shriver. 1485 01:31:41,278 --> 01:31:42,409 Oh. 1486 01:31:42,584 --> 01:31:43,846 - I'’m sorry. - No, it'’s-- 1487 01:31:44,020 --> 01:31:45,717 - Sorry. - No. What are you sorry about? 1488 01:31:49,286 --> 01:31:51,462 You don'’t know your own clients? 1489 01:31:52,332 --> 01:31:53,682 Oh, well, we'’ve only met once, 1490 01:31:53,856 --> 01:31:55,553 and I was 15. 1491 01:31:55,727 --> 01:31:58,513 Uh, my father was Mr. Shriver'’s original agent, 1492 01:31:58,687 --> 01:32:01,472 and I inherited him with the agency. 1493 01:32:06,564 --> 01:32:07,826 Okay, nobody move. 1494 01:32:10,263 --> 01:32:14,833 Jesus fucking Christ, Simone. What have you brought down on us? 1495 01:32:15,007 --> 01:32:17,967 Would the, uh, real Shriver please step forward? 1496 01:32:23,668 --> 01:32:26,410 Come on, is nobody here the author of this book? 1497 01:32:26,584 --> 01:32:30,501 This kaleidoscopic dissection of the human condition? 1498 01:32:30,675 --> 01:32:33,069 This phantasmagorical allegory? 1499 01:32:34,244 --> 01:32:35,767 This is Shriver. 1500 01:32:36,725 --> 01:32:38,378 And I just wanna say I'’m so sorry. 1501 01:32:38,553 --> 01:32:39,989 Not so fast, Professor. 1502 01:32:40,163 --> 01:32:41,468 That'’s not Shriver. 1503 01:32:41,643 --> 01:32:44,471 Ms. Brown. I will note that you are alive. 1504 01:32:44,646 --> 01:32:46,909 So, you say you'’re Shriver? 1505 01:32:47,518 --> 01:32:48,824 Absolutely. 1506 01:32:54,612 --> 01:32:56,396 - What is going on? Simone. - Wait. Stop it. 1507 01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:58,224 What are you doing - with Mr. Shriver? - Would you please tell him-- 1508 01:32:58,398 --> 01:33:01,010 - This is crazy. - That'’s not Mr. Shriver. 1509 01:33:04,100 --> 01:33:06,406 - Why are you doing that? - I'’m-- This is ridiculous. 1510 01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:08,452 Simone, will you please tell them--Shut up, please. 1511 01:33:08,626 --> 01:33:11,498 This man - is a professional impostor. - What? 1512 01:33:11,673 --> 01:33:14,066 Yeah. His real name: Herbert Davies. 1513 01:33:14,240 --> 01:33:15,981 - He'’s from Baltimore. - Never been there. 1514 01:33:16,155 --> 01:33:18,201 This guy has claimed to be a number of important people, 1515 01:33:18,375 --> 01:33:20,507 including the Chairman of the Federal Reserve... 1516 01:33:20,682 --> 01:33:24,337 I don'’t even know what that is....and the Archbishop of Canterbury. 1517 01:33:25,687 --> 01:33:27,950 Yeah, just-- just do it. Do it.[officer] Stop running! 1518 01:33:28,124 --> 01:33:29,952 [attendee] Oh, my God.[officer] Get him! 1519 01:33:30,126 --> 01:33:31,910 [attendee 2] Someone do something.[attendee 3] There he goes. 1520 01:33:32,084 --> 01:33:35,174 Apparently, it'’s gotten him into bed with a lot of women. 1521 01:33:35,348 --> 01:33:38,221 Several men.[attendee 3] They got him. They got him. 1522 01:33:41,485 --> 01:33:43,618 [officer] Stop resisting. [grunts] 1523 01:33:43,792 --> 01:33:49,232 Byron, I think this puts us back on the literary map. [chuckles] 1524 01:33:51,843 --> 01:33:53,715 I'’m so embarrassed. 1525 01:33:55,978 --> 01:33:57,893 I was so ready to doubt you. I-- 1526 01:33:58,067 --> 01:33:59,068 No. 1527 01:34:00,460 --> 01:34:02,637 I doubted myself. I just-- 1528 01:34:02,811 --> 01:34:06,684 When you said you would show up, 1529 01:34:06,858 --> 01:34:08,860 I thought it was too good to be true. 1530 01:34:11,254 --> 01:34:12,995 I wasn'’t listening to the part of myself 1531 01:34:13,169 --> 01:34:15,998 that absolutely knew that only you could write that book. 1532 01:34:18,827 --> 01:34:21,046 Well, how could you have known when I didn'’t? 1533 01:34:27,618 --> 01:34:29,054 You knew you wrote it. 1534 01:34:30,795 --> 01:34:32,318 You didn'’t think you wrote it. 1535 01:34:33,493 --> 01:34:34,799 That'’s why you came here. 1536 01:34:44,504 --> 01:34:45,810 Can we start over? 1537 01:34:49,814 --> 01:34:50,554 What? 1538 01:34:50,728 --> 01:34:51,860 You know, 1539 01:34:53,339 --> 01:34:55,472 like, from the beginning. 1540 01:34:55,646 --> 01:34:57,953 Just start over. None of that happened. 1541 01:34:58,127 --> 01:34:59,606 [chuckles] 1542 01:35:03,045 --> 01:35:04,046 Hi. 1543 01:35:05,743 --> 01:35:07,136 I'’m Simone Cleary. 1544 01:35:11,444 --> 01:35:13,272 [applause in distance] 1545 01:35:13,446 --> 01:35:14,970 Are you ready? 1546 01:35:15,144 --> 01:35:16,319 Mmm. 1547 01:35:16,493 --> 01:35:18,321 I'’m nervous. 1548 01:35:18,495 --> 01:35:20,236 [Cheadum] I'’ll never forget the first time I met Mr. Shriver. 1549 01:35:20,410 --> 01:35:23,892 My father, he said to me, he said, "Donny, meet Mr. Shriver, 1550 01:35:24,066 --> 01:35:25,415 the best writer you'’ll ever know." 1551 01:35:25,589 --> 01:35:27,330 Some years later, my father... 1552 01:35:27,504 --> 01:35:28,940 You'’ll be fine. 1553 01:35:30,115 --> 01:35:31,987 ...how over drinks one night, he told me... 1554 01:35:32,161 --> 01:35:34,250 [applause] 1555 01:35:34,424 --> 01:35:35,468 Thank you. 1556 01:35:38,036 --> 01:35:40,256 [whistling, cheering] 1557 01:35:58,927 --> 01:36:00,319 And I am... 1558 01:36:02,626 --> 01:36:03,670 Shriver. 1559 01:36:08,153 --> 01:36:10,416 "The watermark appeared on my ceiling 1560 01:36:10,590 --> 01:36:13,942 on the rainy day my wife walked out on me. 1561 01:36:14,986 --> 01:36:17,859 At first, it was just a small spot, 1562 01:36:18,033 --> 01:36:20,078 approximately the size of a quarter..."