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Meanwhile, work goes on for the Brits who've relocated to the Costa.
Running a bar in the sun is the classic British dream.
It can easily turn into a nightmare,
but Gary and Cherry from Macclesfield have made it work. The bamboo bar is a success.
Hello. Hello.
I saw you looking at me from the street.
I've seen you a bunch of times coming along with your head down.
One day it'll be for real, that alarm.
We're basically the only ones here. Can you fucking
believe that? I mean, they haven't got security guards yet.
I'm Harry.
Adam.
Hey.
How do you cope?
- With... what? - I said.
It's so quiet. I mean, London's out there, but we can't even fuck your thing.
I play music right, but it's worse when it ends. And I even got one of those, um...
uh, wide noise machines right. But it's like
there's someone in the corner of the room
whispering about me. I mean, we can't even open
the windows, but I guess
you don't really want us to jump.
It's hard for business, you know.
Bodies broken on the concrete.
I mean, who's gonna move in then?
Drink?
It's Japanese.
It's meant to be the best in the world, but I couldn't tell you why, so...
No, thanks.
Okay, um...
Okay, how about I come in anyway?
If not for a drink, then...
for whatever else you might want.
I think that's a good idea.
Do I scare you?
No.
Well, you don't have to do anything if I'm not your type.
Hi.
I, uh, thought someone was strong.
Run out like this.
No, thanks.
Shall we go?
Go where?
She's gonna be over the moon to see you.
Guess who I found later and in the park?
Is it him?
Oh, yeah, it's definitely him.
Look in his eyes.
Yes, it is you.
Hi.
Don't just stand there.
Get yourself inside.
Is that where you live in there?
Not around here, I'm sure.
I'm in London.
Oh, how fancy.
Do you live by yourself?
Do you own your own place?
Uh, yeah, it's just a flat.
What did I tell you?
I told you he'd be doing well for himself, didn't I?
Can't be cheap,
living up there in the smoke.
And what is it that you do?
I'm a writer.
And what did I tell you?
No, no, no, I'm not particularly rich or anything.
Not really.
No, I always knew you'd be creative.
What kind of writer are you?
You know how I love Stephen King,
Carrie, Cujo, different seasons.
No, no, no, I'm not a proper writer.
I write scripts for film,
TV when I have to.
A writer.
God, this is so bloody exciting.
If I knew the neighbours, I'd run over and I'd tell them right now.
I've always said that writers know less about the real world than almost anyone else.
What the hell would you know?
You could barely write joined up.
It's true.
A writer.
Our son.
We're very bloody pleased to see you doing so well, then.
Here.
Look at that puffy shirt.
Our boy's back home.
What are you putting on?
Oh, you'll see.
Oh.
Oh, do you remember your little red car that you had?
You loved it and you wanted to take it
out onto the main road and drive it with all the big cars.
It's my first memory, actually.
It was a Ford Granada that hit him, wasn't it? No, it was.
It was racing green.
Do you remember that?
Mmm.
It was a red dog.
You went so high up in there, I'll never forget it.
Oh, but you were fine, though.
You were fine. You had a couple of bruises.
I think they thought I was exaggerating when I took you in.
What about that one bonfire night when you lost it?
Remember that bonfire night?
How old were you? Six? No, he was not.
He was older than that.
The fireworks went off.
Poor boy, he started screaming and howling.
Had to carry him all the way home.
He did? Yeah.
Fell asleep on my shoulder.
You don't remember that?
You were really beside yourself.
You were really having a hard time.
And we were just trying to get you to enjoy the fireworks.
You've always been a sensitive boy.
Yeah.
Are you still afraid of fireworks now?
No.
Do you know what you said about him?
Is that just like my mother?
He does.
He did say something, though.
Yeah, it's when he speaks to me.
I don't know.
It's been so bloody lovely to see you again.
Aren't you sure we ever would?
No.
Here you are.
Here I am.
Come back soon, hm?
One of us will be in.
Please.
Yeah, I will.
I will.
What's going on?
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, son. Bye.
I'm really sorry about the other night.
Oh, it's all right.
Don't worry about it.
See ya.
I actually do like whiskey.
Do you want to have a drink, or?
Hi.
Do you want to come in?
Sure.
Yeah.
What have you got?
I've got vodka and some beer.
And some weed, if you prefer.
Yeah.
Weed's better.
I'm off alcohol.
Do you like living here?
I think I like it more when people move in.
If people move in.
Have you got friends nearby?
No.
Not really.
Do you? No, not really.
Most of my friends have moved out of London.
They want to have gardens for their kids.
They want to be near their grandparents so they can look after their kids.
I'm guessing you didn't want to move too?
Uh, no.
What am I going to do in Dorking?
It's not for people like me.
I'm just checking you are queer, right?
Yeah.
That's good.
Or gay.
Queer, I'm not.
I get used to calling myself queer.
It was always such an insult.
That's probably why we hate gay so much now.
I mean, it was always like...
Your haircut's gay.
The sofa's gay.
Your trainers are gay.
Your school bag's gay.
Yeah.
Queer does feel polite somehow, though.
You know, it's like, um...
I don't know.
It's like all the dick-sucking's been taken out.
Yeah.
I'm assuming you're not with anyone.
Never see you with anyone.
No.
You often single?
Am I often single?
Mm-hmm.
I suppose so, yeah.
Mm.
Are you?
Yeah.
But not for want of trying.
How about I kiss you?
No, wait.
Mm.
Sorry.
You all right? No, yeah, yeah.
Just haven't done...
Haven't done this in a while.
Just remember to breathe.
Okay.
You all right?
Uh-huh.
Is this you?
I'm afraid it is.
Man, you were cute.
I hate my photos.
I was a fat kid.
Right?
But when you're a fat kid, no one asks why you don't have a girlfriend.
Mm.
We'd have been friends for sure, though.
Bunked off football to spy on the boys.
Is this your dad?
Yeah.
He's handsome.
Yeah.
I'm...
I'm trying to write about him at the moment.
Is that what you do?
Yeah.
How's it going?
Uh...
Strangely.
I don't see my dad much.
Do you, uh...
Do you see yours, though?
No, they died.
Just before I was 12.
Both of them? Yeah.
Yeah.
Not the most original of deaths.
I'm really sorry.
No, thanks.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
I'd like to see you again.
Yeah, okay.
I could stay the night if you...
How about actually better idea?
Not tonight.
Yeah?
No, no, I would like to see you again.
You don't need to explain.
Okay.
Thanks.
Sweetheart, you came back.
Of course I came back.
Jesus, you're sodden.
Come on, take it all off.
No, I'm not taking my clothes off.
Don't be silly.
It's only me.
Come on, arms up.
I'll put them in the dryer.
It's just me today.
Is that all right?
Yeah, of course it is.
Good.
There's so much I want to know.
I want to hear everything.
Right, go on, upstairs.
Get changed.
My goodness, this is so exciting.
I suppose nothing's going to fit you anymore, is it? Nope.
Yeah, well, I bought you some of your dad's things instead.
Okay.
Oh, look, come on, take these off as well, and I'll put them in to dry with the rest.
Uh... Oh, will you take them off, Adam?
Honestly.
God, look at you.
What?
You're just a boy.
And now you're not.
You're totally different, but it's still you.
Well, I thought you'd be hairier.
Like your dad.
Okay, sorry.
Like a hairy chest myself.
Okay.
Christ, you know who you remind me of?
Uh, who?
You look just like my dad.
Did he?
Mm.
I remember him anyway when I was a little girl.
God, isn't that mad?
It's like seeing you both at exactly the same time.
Oh.
I've made your favorite.
Well, I hope it's still your favorite.
I'll just go and pop the kettle on, and then you can tell me everything.
Don't be afraid.
Okay.
Now, your dad told me not to ask,
and I don't see a wedding ring, so I'm presuming
you're not married, but have you got a girlfriend?
Hmm?
I'm picturing her with brown hair, not too skinny, smart, obviously.
Well?
Well, what?
Do you?
I don't have a girlfriend, no.
Oh.
That's a shame.
I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not into girls.
Into women.
What do you mean?
I mean...
I'm gay.
As in homosexual?
As in that, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Since when?
Since a long time.
Forever?
You don't look gay.
Well, I'm not sure what that means.
It means what it means.
You know what it means.
Well, I bet you're glad you don't know the neighbors now.
Hmm.
I must admit, I'm a bit surprised.
I'm not really sure what I feel about it.
What?
You didn't think it would be a possibility?
No, of course not.
What parent wants to think that about their child?
Well, I'm very okay with it, so...
Aren't people nasty to you?
No, no.
Things are different now.
Well, they aren't nasty.
Not allowed, anyway.
But does everybody know?
I mean, are you open about it?
I mean, I don't know, down the high street at W.A.
Smith's? Well, it depends on the street.
Yeah.
Everybody knows. Everyone's fine.
Well, don't you want to get married and have kids?
I can have kids.
Men can marry.
Women, too.
What, to each other?
Yeah.
Why?
What do you mean, why?
Well, isn't that like having your cake and eating it?
So, do you want to get married and have kids?
I don't know.
It wasn't a possibility for such a long time,
so I didn't think it was worth the effort of wanting to get married and have kids.
You okay?
Mm, fine.
Sure?
I suppose I never did know what was going on in that odd little head of yours.
You were always running away.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
It was that time that you got as far as the train station,
but then you'd lost your money, and so you couldn't buy a ticket.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
It was Granny's five pound note.
Yeah, that was it.
Where were you hoping to go?
I don't know.
London.
London?
Or there was that time that you got as far as the bottom of the garden,
but then you cut your thumb on an old milk
bottle, and you came running back up all sheepish,
blood all over your shirt, and you were banging and banging
on that window to be let in.
Yeah.
There it is.
Just.
Yeah.
Hmm.
They say it's a very lonely kind of life.
They don't actually say that anymore.
So you're not lonely?
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
Not really.
Not really?
Oh, God, and what about this awful, ghastly disease?
I've seen the adverts on the,
on the news and with the gravestone.
Should I be worried about that?
No. Jesus.
Everything is different now.
Everything is different.
Well, I guess I wouldn't know about that.
Your clothes will be dry now.
You can take these flapjacks with you if you want.
I won't be eating them.
What's wrong?
Um, I'm okay.
Just, just got a bit of a chill.
Really?
You're hot.
Yeah.
I was just, I was just,
I just got caught in the rain.
Okay.
Well, why don't I run you a hot bath?
My nan says there's literally nothing a hot bath can solve.
I don't really like baths.
Fuck off.
Who doesn't like baths?
You don't need to be shy around me.
Yes.
That's easier said than done.
Would you like me to close my eyes? Yes, please.
Better.
I've been thinking about who you all eat today.
Hmm.
I was thinking about watching crappy TV with you on a Friday night.
Mm-hmm.
Eating takeaway on your sofa.
Watching old episodes of Top of the Pops from before I was born.
Thought about something else, too.
Thought about fucking you.
Really?
Yeah.
You fucking me, I don't really care which.
Lean to that.
Yeah.
It's okay if you're not real.
Don't need to be into fucking.
I wasn't for the longest time.
For obvious reasons.
Obvious reasons?
I felt that if I fucked anyone,
I'd die.
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine.
Yeah.
Well, not all.
Yeah.
You said the other day you don't see your dad much.
Yeah.
How about your mom?
Yeah, sick.
How come?
They know you're queer?
Yeah, of course.
Are you okay with this?
Yeah.
Okay.
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
Yeah.
Never got used to it, sort of.
Just don't say too much.
You could say that I have
drifted to the edge.
Or right up to the edge, almost.
Over the edge.
What's that mean?
Yeah, I'm the edge of the family.
My sister and her kids.
My older brother just got married.
They've all got this spot in the center.
That's okay.
Why is it okay?
Because.
I don't go home much.
Does that make you sad?
Yeah.
Um...
No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
Why?
Um...
I've always felt like a stranger in my own family.
And then...
coming out just puts an end to that difference.
It's always been there.
Yeah.
It's only endless.
It's not really anyone's fault.
What's wrong?
It's funny.
Things are better now. Of course they are.
It doesn't take much to make you feel the way you felt.
Back there again. It's game over.
Am I still hot?
It's a little.
You gonna stay the night?
I'm sure she won't be long.
It's okay.
I just wanted to talk to her.
Yeah, I know you did.
This was your granddad's favorite.
I never really liked it much at the time, but...
it's grown on me.
If you want to see your mom really lose her
shit, go ahead and break that bloody thing.
Ugh.
Come on then, lads.
Sit yourself down.
What she told you then?
Scared you wouldn't come back.
But you know what your mom's like.
Don't be too disappointed in her.
No, I'm not.
She just needs to rearrange some things in her
head and all the stories that she's built up.
She'll soon realize it's not actually about her.
What about you?
What about me?
What do you think?
Well...
I mean, it was only a shock.
I always knew you were a bit
tutti-frutti.
Couldn't throw a ball for shit no matter how many times I tried to teach her.
Couldn't do it.
You make me sound like a horrible cliche.
Well, can you throw a ball?
Not at all.
Well, there you go.
Would you have liked me to have known?
I don't know.
I would hear you crying in your room
after school.
Did the boys bully you then?
Not just the boys.
What would they do?
Oh, call me a girl.
Ignore me.
Refuse to play with me.
Stick my head down the toilet.
Flick drawing pens in my face.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Gives you a little cancer, doesn't it?
So why didn't you come into my room if you heard me crying?
Why didn't you tell me what was happening at school?
You know, you answer me
first.
Be honest.
I just didn't want to think of you as the
kind of boy that the other lads would pick on.
And I knew that if I was at your school I'd probably have picked on you too.
Yeah, I think I always
probably thought that anyway.
Probably why I didn't tell you what was happening to me at school.
You know, when she told me
it did make me think about other jokes that we make.
Yeah, well, we did impressions of your English teacher when he
mints around with his limp wrist.
You told me not to cross my legs
like a woman over and over
and over again.
Did I?
Yeah, I still.
I still think about it
every time I cross my legs.
I have good memories too.
Yeah, I hope so.
I hope so. I hope you did.
Ha, ha.
Remember you used to love decorating the tree?
You went crazy for it
every year.
And you'd always let me
put the fairy on top of the tree.
I did.
Sorry I never came in your room when you were crying.
No, really, it's okay.
It's not good, really, is it? Dad, I get it.
It was so long.
It was so long ago.
Stop.
Can I hug you now?
Yeah, please.
You're all right, son.
You're all right.
After this,
I want to go out.
You and me.
I mean...
Together.
Into the world.
Where'd you get this?
Out of my wallet.
Fuck knows all that's been there.
I think that's cat bead.
Oh, really?
Have you done it before?
No.
You gave it back to me.
I did my best.
Okay.
Adam?
What's wrong?
Oh, you're really hot.
Oh, he's really hot.
Huh?
Here you go.
Squeeze in, squeeze in, squeeze in.
All those lonely, lonely times.
And I guess I never told you.
I'm so happy that you're mine.
If I made you feel the second best.
I'm so sorry I was blind.
You were always on my mind.
Tell me.
Tell me that you're sweet like a diamond.
Love is undying.
Give me
one more chance to keep you satisfied.
Satisfied.
Bye-bye.
Okay, get together.
Yeah, you ready?
Okay, let's go.
Merry Christmas.
Is this real?
Does it feel real?
Yeah.
There you go then.
For how long, though?
I can't answer that.
I suppose we don't get to decide when it's over.
You're not going out now, are you?
Where would we go?
The Walsh's.
The Walsh's? The Walsh's.
The Walsh's.
No, no.
Wait.
Promise me you're not going to go out now.
I promise.
We're just going to be asleep next door.
Right?
Get some sleep.
I can't sleep.
Do you want to get in?
Can I?
Of course you can.
It still smells the same in here.
You'd creep in here night after night saying you couldn't sleep.
You're always scared of something.
Murderers breaking in, or rabies, or nuclear war.
Do people still get rabies?
No.
I was desperate for you to grow up just so I could get a good night's sleep.
Sorry.
What are you sorry for?
I'm the sorry one.
I should have relished you driving me bananas.
Where did you go?
You know, afterwards.
Lived with Granny.
She took me to Dublin.
Yeah, I thought so.
Why didn't you live with his slop?
Why didn't you live with Granny May?
They said she was too heartbroken.
About what?
Well, she'd lost her son.
Oh, I see. But my mother was fine about losing her only daughter.
No, no.
She was not fine.
I just can't believe that she got to look after you and I didn't.
Are any of them still around now?
They wouldn't be, would they?
And how did you get on over there with Mum?
Did you manage to fit in better at school?
I made sure I did.
I hate that we weren't around when you needed to smoke, sweetheart.
And I hate even more
that I wasn't there before then. Not really.
No, that's not true.
Oh, come on.
I was hardly mother of a year, was I?
But I like to think that I would have got better at it
in time.
In no given time.
You know, when I was a teenager,
or even later,
into my twenties,
I used to plot it all out.
Do you mean?
What we might have done together.
In intricate detail.
Trips to the Witt Gift Centre.
Birthdays.
You know, trips to London.
The planetarium.
The London Dungeon.
Oh, I always wanted to go there.
I know.
Or holidays that we might have gone on together.
Oh, did we make it to Disneyland?
We did.
When I was fourteen.
It rained non-stop.
And they shut down Space Mountain.
And we fought every day.
Why did we have to fight?
Because that's what everyone did with their parents.
They fought and bickered and pretended that they were ruining each other's lives.
Did we make up?
No, we didn't need to make up.
We were together.
So...
Is that it, Mum?
You okay?
No.
You're okay, son.
You're okay.
What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.
What day is it? Sunday.
What day?
You kept screaming out for your parents
over and over again in the club.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I just...
took you back here and there until you fell asleep.
You looked so scared.
Here, come here.
Oh, dear God.
Shh.
I'm here. It's okay.
You're okay.
Shh.
I was sleeping in their bed
the night they went out.
I was meant to go with them
to Christmas drinks at the Walsh's
around midnight.
Two police came to the door,
a man and a woman.
He had really beautiful,
kind eyes
and this thick, dark stubble.
It looked like it had been drawn on.
The car skidded on black ice.
Both of them had been drinking.
Dad was killed right away, but they took Mum to
St Mary's in Croydon
and she died a few days later.
Did you get to see her?
What do you mean?
Did you say goodbye?
Mm-hmm, yeah.
No.
My granny told it would be too scarring.
Mum went through the windscreen
and she lost an eye,
so she was pretty fucked up.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I went looking for that eye.
I don't know why.
I didn't want anyone else to find it.
I thought it would be on the side of the road.
She's staring up at me.
Hi.
I did find a tiny piece of the windscreen glass then.
My head had had blood on it,
but maybe that's not true.
The nurse said that Mum woke up
just before she died.
It must have been so confusing.
You can hardly see.
Dad wasn't there.
I wasn't there.
I can't even begin to imagine how you felt.
How lonely you must have been.
Yeah, but I...
I'd always felt lonely...
Even before.
This was a new feeling.
Like, uh...
terror.
Like, uh...
that I'd always...
be alone now.
And then, as I got older,
that feeling just...
solidified.
It just... uh... just did not...
here all the time.
And then losing them, I just got tangled up with all the other stuff.
Like being gay,
and...
just feeling like...
the future doesn't matter.
Does that make sense? Yeah.
Yeah...
I know how easy it can be to stop caring about yourself.
Will you come with me?
Where to?
Just let me show you.
Whose house is this?
My parents'.
Yeah?
Who lives here now? It's okay.
Don't worry.
Hello? Adam.
Hello?
Adam.
Who? My parents'.
This is our house.
This is our kitchen.
This is our wallpaper.
That's our table, where we had fish and chips every Friday night,
so my mother could pretend we were still Catholic.
Adam, I want to go home.
Let me take you home.
This is my home.
No, it used to be.
Mom!
Adam! Dad! Adam, listen.
Let me take you home.
Look! You go home.
You go home.
I'm not going.
Can you see them? Let me in.
Please.
Please let me in.
Why didn't you let us in?
Where is he?
Is he here? Is her here?
No.
We did see him though.
I wanted you to meet him.
I know, but I don't think this works like that.
You look like a handsome fellow, though.
Is he your special friend?
Do you mean my boyfriend?
Is he my boyfriend?
If you could say it.
Okay.
Well, is he your boyfriend?
Um...
I don't know.
Are you in love with him?
No.
Why is that so strange? I don't know.
I've never been in love before, so...
Not really.
So this...
I don't know if this is it.
Sweetheart.
Well, he certainly seems to care about you a whole heap.
In my not-so-humble opinion.
You think he'd like you? I don't know.
So...
I think we need to... No.
Don't say it.
Please don't say it.
We have to. We have to.
Um...
Me and your mum...
We think that it's best you don't come visit us anymore.
I'm just gonna keep coming and coming.
I know you are.
And we can see what this is doing to you.
It's not doing anything to me.
Yes, it is.
I won't let you move on.
Okay, well, I'll come less.
I'll come once a year.
I'll come at Christmas.
Come on, lad.
You have to have known that this wasn't gonna last forever.
I'm not asking for it to last forever.
I'm just...
It hasn't been long enough.
It hasn't been close to long enough.
I know, but it never could be, could it? Hey, listen.
Hey, listen.
I've got an idea.
How's about...
How's about we got your favourite place in the whole bloody world?
Oh.
I'm sure it's still open.
An express thing to Disneyland.
It's fucking cheaper, too.
?
Oh, Jesus, I told you not to ask.
You want to know.
But what if it was slow and horribly painful?
What difference does it make?
It's a big difference.
It was quick.
Was it? Yeah.
You.
For both of us? Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
No, you don't seem sure.
Don't be fibbing now.
It was quick.
It was really quick.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, that's a relief, isn't it? Sort.
?
It's been playing on my mind, that is.
What do you think we should say to each other?
I'm not sure I have much wisdom to share.
I don't know.
Maybe Adam, being older, should be sharing some with us.
Maybe we shouldn't say anything.
Maybe.
Although I will say that getting to know you has made us very proud, son.
I haven't done anything to be proud of.
I've just muddled through.
No, but you got through it.
Some tough times, I'm sure.
And you're still here.
Mm-hmm.
It's what we're proud of.
Dad.
Stay.
Stay a bit longer.
I don't think so.
I love you, darling.
I love you, too.
You do?
Sometimes I wasn't so sure.
Whatever problems we had, I'm glad we got to be together at the end.
I know I was never good at saying it.
I just couldn't get the words out.
But I do love you very much.
Somehow, even more, now that I know you.
It's important that you believe me.
I do.
I know I love you very much.
Dad?
Dad, did you hear that?
Adam, are you there?
I can't see you. Why can't I see you? I'm here, Mom.
?
Oh, there you are.
I can feel you.
Your skin's lovely and warm.
Now, you listen.
You promised me that you're going to try with this Harry boy.
Yeah.
I'd have liked him.
I know it.
He might need a bit of taking care of, might you?
He's got such a sad face.
Do you hear me? Yeah, yeah.
I hear you.
That's good.
I hope you make each other a bit happier.
Such a kind and gentle boy.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Harry?
What are you doing down here?
I came to find you.
Why are you here?
I said goodbye to them, so I came to see you.
It's okay.
It's not okay, though, is it?
I was so scared that night.
I just needed to not be alone.
I'm sorry.
I was too scared.
I'm in there, aren't I?
Let's just go upstairs.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just... No, no, no, no, no, no.
I just need you to tell me, okay?
Because I can smell it.
I can taste it in my throat.
How come no one found me?
Well, it was my mum and my dad.
I found you.
No, but I...
Adam, I don't want you to see me like that in there.
You're not in there. You're not in there.
You're not in there.
You're here.
With me.
Let's just go upstairs.
I saw you, you know.
Your mum.
Your dad, too.
The house.
They saw you, too.
They did.
My dad said you were a handsome fellow.
They loved you.
They both would.
Oh, Scott.
Did you get to say what you wanted to say? I don't know.
I got to be with her.
It's good that you're all together.
Yeah.
I'm scared.
I know.
But I'm here with you.
Don't let this get tangled up again.
Okay, come on.
Okay.
It's so quiet.
I never could stand how quiet this place was.
Well, you put a record on.
What would you like? You choose.
?
I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw.
Keep the vampires from your door.