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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[military brass music playing]
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ASTÉRIX & OBÉLIX
THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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[narrator] The year is 50 B.C.
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Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans.
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Well,
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not entirely.
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One small village of indomitable Gauls
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still holds out against the invaders.
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And life isn't easy
for the Roman legionaries
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who garrison the fortified camps
of Totorum, Aquarium,
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Laudanum and Compendium.
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[man 1] ♪ Favourite thing that I like ♪
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♪ Is to go on a hike in the forest ♪
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♪ I like to go
With my buddy, with my... bro ♪
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Hey, that rhymes. Ha!
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[man 2] You know what, Obélix?
This life isn't healthy.
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- [Obélix] Huh?
- Too much meat.
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- Oof! Too much meat?
- Yeah.
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Wild boars for breakfast, lunch
and dinner, and then midnight snacks.
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And all that barley beer!
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I don't think it's all that good for us.
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- What else would we eat then?
- I don't know.
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We could balance it out a bit,
with, uh... vegetables.
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- Vegetables? Vegetables?
- Uh-huh.
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[Obélix laughs]
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Oh, you're so funny, Astérix!
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- You hear that, Dogmatix?
- [whining]
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Do you picture yourself chewing celery
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instead of a bone?
Like, "Hello, vegetables"?
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[laughs]
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Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
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Honestly, what is the point
of wrecking our health like this?
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And that magic potion...
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Where's the evidence
that it's safe to use?
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We don't have perspective. We just don't.
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And plus, do we even need it, you know?
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- You alright?
- No, I'm not.
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Look, it's not a huge deal,
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maybe a mixed salad now and then,
or mushrooms. Chestnuts?
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- Well, they're out of season...
- Shush.
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[sniffs vigorously]
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- [Astérix sighs]
- [comical music playing]
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You're carrying one already,
can't you leave the poor beasts alone?
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[growling]
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[metal tinkling]
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[quivering]
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Peekaboo, you ickle-wickle Romie-pomies!
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[barking]
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- Hail, Caesar.
- [soldier 1] Sorry, we're lost.
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We didn't know
we were so close to your village.
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Oh please,
I must've told you twenty times.
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- Did not.
- Did too.
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[soldier 2] You kept saying,
"I'm sick to death of these stupid Gauls."
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"They can kiss my scutum."
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- Oh!
- [soldier 1] What's wrong with you?
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- [indistinct arguing]
- [Obélix] Wait here.
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No, no, no.
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Leave it to me.
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Let me demonstrate
just how much I need this.
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True power is here,
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and here.
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So you just sit over there,
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relax, and watch and learn.
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[tense music playing]
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[soldier 1] Hiya.
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[cry of pain]
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[Obélix giggles]
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They got these helmets...
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I'm sorry, are you in or out?
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I've been told to stay out.
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No!
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[Astérix screams in pain]
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- Come and help, don't be silly!
- Go on, pound him hard.
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[grunts]
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- Oh!
- [Obélix] Hey!
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[squeaking and peeping]
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[roars]
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Oh!
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[whistling]
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Come on, be a sport, would--
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- [Astérix sighs]
- Cheater!
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Dunno what you're on about.
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I was doing fine without the potion.
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[tutting]
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We don't have to do this.
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But... we do.
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[screams]
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{\an8}ASTÉRIX & OBÉLIX
THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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{\an8}- [light-hearted music playing]
- [distant screaming]
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{\an8}[indistinct chatter]
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{\an8}[indistinct chatter continues]
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{\an8}♪ I love my big belt ♪
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{\an8}♪ To keep my lovely britches up! ♪
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{\an8}Why no customers?
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{\an8}- Product's not that fresh.
- [flies buzzing]
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{\an8}- Are you fresh?
- What?
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{\an8}- Uh, nothing.
- [Obélix] Can you imagine,
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{\an8}Getafix, I can't even
smoke my own boars inside!
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{\an8}Just because mister Astérix
has decided to quit eating them,
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- doesn't mean I have to.
- [laughs]
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[kid] Panacea!
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Panacea!
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- Panacea!
- [Panacea] Hi, girls.
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- Shall we go to the market?
- [girl] Yes!
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- [clears throat] Morning, Panacea.
- Morning, Obélix.
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Um, Panacea...
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[Obélix] I wanted to tell you...
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Mm-hmm?
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When I carved this menhir, I was thinking
of you, so I want you to have it.
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That's really nice of you,
but what would I do with it?
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Goodbye then.
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- She didn't take it.
- Hum?
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- The menhir, she didn't want it.
- What did you expect? It weighs a ton!
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What would she use it for?
An ankle bracelet?
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- Getafix, your sickle's ready.
- Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
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Oh, enough of that.
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And let me tell you... I'll tell you...
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Come here.
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{\an8}♪ I'm on fire ♪
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{\an8}There's no reason for Astérix
not to have a varied diet as long as
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{\an8}he doesn't impose it on others.
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Getafix, what are you doing?
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Huh?
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[comical music playing]
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Sinking, I believe.
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What're you doing that for?
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It's quicksand, obviously.
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Nobody's ever reported
quicksand around here before.
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Perhaps it's because they'd already sunk!
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{\an8}[Cacofonix] Wagon in sight!
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{\an8}♪ Wagon in sight ♪
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{\an8}Excuse me a second.
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{\an8}♪ But I'm never hoarse ♪
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{\an8}♪ Because my heart yearns to sing ♪
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{\an8}- Was it too hard for you to shut up?
- [Cacofonix holds the note]
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{\an8}[grunts]
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{\an8}First customer I'd had in days!
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{\an8}That's how long
your fish's been rotting there.
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{\an8}What? You saying my fish is rotten?
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{\an8}[serious music playing]
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{\an8}Let's go see who it is, huh?
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{\an8}FOR LOUISE AND MARCEL
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- Stay put, horsies.
- Bankruptis, what you doing here?
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- [Bankruptis] Shh!
- It's summertime.
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Were you ambushed?
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- [Astérix] And where's your uncle?
- Will you shut up, I mean it, not a word.
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[whispering] Listen to me! Okay?
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Friends, I just came from China.
I need your help with this.
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- You've got to see this.
- Why are you blonde?
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Now that's what I need to tell you.
I'm a Gaul. I've always been a Gaul.
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- Pff!
- So please, play along.
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Just play along with it,
would you, please?
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I will explain. This way.
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- [mysterious music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]
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[crowd gasps]
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They're strange.
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[Bankruptis] Now this magnificent
young woman asleep on the shoulder,
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she's a princess.
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Name of Sa See. The very daughter
of the Empress of China.
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[crowd gasps]
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You do know where China is, right?
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- Absolutely.
- [scattered murmurs]
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Right.
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- Is she a princess too?
- [Bankruptis] No.
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She's her bodyguard, her name's Ka Ra Tay.
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Let me tell you she's a right fury.
She beat up everybody we met.
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She beat the Scythians. And she beat
the Parthians, she beat the Huns.
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She's a beautiful woman.
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A woman bodyguard?
[laughs] That's pretty funny.
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That's it, laugh then, go on.
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Since you're such an alpha male,
we'd all love a demonstration.
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- Huh?
- Alright.
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Yeah, see if you can grab her hand,
alpha male.
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- [Bankruptis] Go ahead. Be my guest.
- Alright.
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[cracking]
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[groans]
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[all laugh]
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Voilà.
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["Say You, Say Me" playing]
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♪ Say you, say me ♪
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♪ Say it for always ♪
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[wings chittering]
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♪ That's the way it should be ♪
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You been drinking potion?
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- No.
- Mm-hmm.
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- What's happening?
- What's happening is quite obvious.
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I'll tell you this, do not go there.
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The princess and I...
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We're a bit more than friends,
know what I'm saying?
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- You are?
- Yeah.
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Princess?
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We have arrived.
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[crowd] Oh!
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[Vitalstatistix]
What's the meaning of this?
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[boy] Oh no, here comes the chief!
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00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,625
Now this is Vitalstatistix,
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he's the chief of us Gauls, he's the boss.
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[grunts]
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In the name of Toutatis,
you've got some nerve.
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00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:25,916
Where's your uncle Ekonomikrisis?
He swindled me on a silk chiffon.
203
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- How incredible.
- [Impedimenta] Yeah.
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He said, "Relax, it'll stretch."
Do I look relaxed?
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00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:30,916
- Clearly not.
- Where's the swindler?
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00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:33,916
Ow! No! He sent me, all right?
Can I tell you the story?
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Let me introduce Princess Sa See.
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The daughter of the Empress of China!
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[crowd] Oh!
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00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:42,958
Who's the girl?
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- Thank you, Bankruptix.
- Welcome.
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Chief Vitalstatistix. Allow me to explain
why I have come to you.
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- Getafix, how far's China?
- Very far!
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It is where the sun comes up, over yonder.
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00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:56,000
Ah.
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[narrator] As the tale of the Princess
is likely to be rather long,
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00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,333
and fraught with emotion,
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00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:07,958
let's have a somewhat condensed
account instead.
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00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,625
The Princess lives
with her mother, the Empress.
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00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,541
Ever since the Emperor died,
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00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:16,041
the Empress has struggled to keep control
over the Six Kingdoms.
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00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,458
Even as beloved as she is by her people,
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00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:21,583
the Empress must face the ambitions
of some of the princes,
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00:11:21,583 --> 00:11:23,666
who secretly covet her throne.
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00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,416
The troubles began
on Princess Sa See's birthday,
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00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:30,208
the girl you saw earlier, in the village.
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00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:32,375
This is what we call a flashback.
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00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,125
[sighs]
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00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:37,750
Another vase?
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00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,208
[grunts]
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00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,708
[Sa See] Every year is the same.
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00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,666
Who'd be interested
in a collection of vases?
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00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:45,291
I'm twenty now,
and I've never been out of this palace.
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00:11:45,291 --> 00:11:46,791
I'm tired of these gardens and guards!
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00:11:46,791 --> 00:11:48,958
Your security is at stake.
You know this well--
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00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:53,708
Father promised me I would visit Lutetia
all its boutiques, small taverns...
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00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,416
I yearn to travel to Gaul!
238
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:58,916
We have spoken about this.
Such a journey is too dangerous.
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00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,833
The answer is no.
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00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,125
Here. Open this one.
241
00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:06,791
A gold coin stamped with your likeness.
242
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:08,041
The first ever minted.
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00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,000
Will it buy a dress
in the capital of Gaul?
244
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:11,916
Sa See...
245
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,041
[Empress] Prince Deng Tsin Qin!
246
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,625
[mysterious music playing]
247
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,375
I'm told you have levied
248
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:26,958
a new tax over your kingdom,
249
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:28,750
whilst your people suffer famine?
250
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,625
If I may be so bold, your Majesty...
251
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,625
Julius Caesar's been taxing the heck out
252
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,708
of his own empire
and nobody's complaining.
253
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,208
Plus, where's the pleasure
without pain, as my countrymen say.
254
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:38,541
Who is this man?
255
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,625
This is Scar Dee Kat.
My new strategic counsellor.
256
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:44,791
He's from Rome,
where he held very high station.
257
00:12:44,791 --> 00:12:46,625
Put the people of China
258
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:48,500
before the twisted schemes of a Roman.
259
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,458
Of course, your Imperial Majesty.
260
00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:53,500
Before I withdraw,
261
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,291
have you given any thought
to my proposal of marriage?
262
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,000
Yes. The Princess and I discussed it.
263
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,125
And...?
264
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,083
We had a good laugh.
265
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:03,125
[laughter]
266
00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:06,166
[Scar Dee Kat] Ah!
"He who makes woman laugh..." [laughs]
267
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,833
Apologies.
268
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:11,458
If your Majesty
and her daughter find it amusing,
269
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,791
then let it be so.
270
00:13:13,791 --> 00:13:15,208
[mysterious music playing]
271
00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:20,458
[Empress] Ka Ra Tay.
272
00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:25,500
My faithful warrior.
273
00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:27,583
Summon my daughter.
274
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:30,500
[lively music playing]
275
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:52,875
[Ekonomikrisis] Look, we are in China.
276
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,125
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
therefore we are Gauls,
277
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,166
I can't be any clearer.
278
00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,708
To a native Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
279
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,791
The name's Ekonomikrisix!
280
00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:03,208
Get it through your thick skulls!
281
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:06,041
You're Overmix, and you're Premix! Right?
282
00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:08,500
And all three of us are Gauls.
"Comprendix"?
283
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:12,000
- It's always us making the effort.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Always you, huh?
284
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,875
- [both laughing]
- Is that funny to you?
285
00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:17,916
Think that's funny? Think I'm amused?
286
00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:19,166
- Being blonde?
- [Overmix] No.
287
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:22,333
So grab these papyrus sheets,
and go hand them out in town. Stat!
288
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,458
Go on. Yallah, I mean, get on with it.
289
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,458
Put your helmets on! Go!
290
00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:28,291
On your way now.
291
00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:29,750
China is ours, yeah?
292
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,166
Hey, hey, hey. What you snooping at?
293
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:35,750
What you think you're doing?
You touch, you pay. That's the rule.
294
00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:37,958
Are these real Louboutix?
295
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,750
"Are those real Louboutix?"
296
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:42,375
Of course they're real,
have you ever seen soles like this before?
297
00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:45,000
They're red-hot, and so are my prices,
so if it's too much,
298
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,208
go check out Cheaptrix next door.
299
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,541
Right, get outta my store now.
300
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:51,791
- Go on, give us some air.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Whoa!
301
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,791
That's a booboo. Mother of all booboos.
302
00:14:53,791 --> 00:14:55,875
Please forgive him, Majesty. Forgive him.
303
00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:59,666
He's my nephew.
He has the same temper as his mama.
304
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,208
- Right.
- That's what everybody says.
305
00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:03,375
And of course, the sandals are yours.
306
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:05,416
There's no charge, I'll take it...
307
00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:06,583
- Ow!
- ...out of his wages.
308
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:08,666
- I felt pain.
- You did have it coming.
309
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:10,708
Ekonomikrisix, I'm at your service.
310
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:13,166
[whispering] Nobody shakes.
Put the hand away.
311
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,791
- Nobody shakes.
- Nobody shakes.
312
00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,791
This is all a terrible mistake, Princess.
313
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,833
Whoa. You're sublime. Um. Um... um.
314
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,541
I'm Bankruptix. I'm the nephew.
315
00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,708
With my Mama's temper.
316
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:28,583
And also... her eyes.
317
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:31,458
[swooshing]
318
00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:33,166
I would've loved
to have blonde hair like you.
319
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:37,125
It was never really my choice, Princess.
I was always this way.
320
00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:38,833
Nature only is to blame.
321
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,750
[clears throat] If your imperial Majesty,
322
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,875
uh, could put all this behind us,
323
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:46,458
if you would consent to sample
some of our famous Gallic wines,
324
00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:48,500
it would honour us greatly.
325
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,625
[Ekonomikrisis] Do come in.
326
00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:54,750
Let's start with a superior vintage,
to honour your majestic imperiosity.
327
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,666
[sniffs] Its nose is fruity.
328
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,708
Full of sunshine.
329
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:02,208
Notes of pine and cool shade.
330
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,541
With a tinge of chestnut. [sniffs]
331
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:05,625
Banana too.
332
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:07,416
Dried dates, perhaps.
333
00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:10,416
It's more of a fruit salad
than a... a wine, really.
334
00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:11,416
WINE TASTING
335
00:16:11,416 --> 00:16:13,916
[lively music playing]
336
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,000
I LOVE GAUL
337
00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:26,666
I'll buy it all.
338
00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:28,750
- Ah!
- [ding]
339
00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:33,250
- [Sa See] Are these Gallic perfumes?
- Absolutely, they are indeed.
340
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,333
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
341
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,208
Like myself and my staff.
342
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,875
This is the latest fragrance
343
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,791
the ladies are crazy for in Gaul. Amphora.
344
00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,833
Amphora.
345
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:45,916
I adore-a.
346
00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:47,250
And I'm all for-a.
347
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,708
- [Deng Tsin Qin] Archers, fire!
- Hey, watch out!
348
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:52,000
[screaming]
349
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,916
- [tense music playing]
- [screaming]
350
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,083
Sa See, are you hurt?
351
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,500
No, Mother, I'm fine.
352
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,208
- Bankruptis, everything okay?
- Yeah, I'm all good.
353
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:04,583
I'm asking about the goods!
354
00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:05,666
Cheers, mate.
355
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:07,083
[Deng Tsin Qin] Hey, Empress?
356
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,416
Come out with your hands up.
357
00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:11,166
We wouldn't want to hurt anybody.
358
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,250
We got eyes on you!
359
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,666
Yeah, both kinds.
360
00:17:15,916 --> 00:17:18,666
Yeah because...
my eyes are more like, round,
361
00:17:18,666 --> 00:17:20,208
and you guys are, like uh...
362
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:21,833
Forget it.
363
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:25,541
Is there another exit?
364
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,208
Yes. I have a secret passage
365
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:30,041
in case of customs checks.
I mean in case of check...
366
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:32,625
checking for fires.
In case of fire. A fire exit.
367
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,833
Ka Ra Tay,
I entrust you my daughter. Save her!
368
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,541
Mother, no! You have to escape too.
369
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,666
The Empress does not flee. Save yourself.
370
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,708
The scoundrel is after you.
371
00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:42,625
Let's go.
372
00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:47,000
- [Bankruptis] Bye, Princess.
- Quit that. I'm gonna stay here.
373
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,875
A good merchant never abandons his stock.
374
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:51,333
Captain of the ship kinda thing, right?
375
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:52,333
Well, yeah.
376
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:53,791
You get to home-base,
and bring back the guys.
377
00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:55,166
What? Uncle Mahmood?
378
00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:57,000
Not him, not Uncle Mahmood,
this home base.
379
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,250
This home base?
380
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,541
- That's the other end of the planet!
- You should be on your way.
381
00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:02,541
- [inhales, grunts]
- Hey, wait!
382
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,541
Keep your eyes on the Princess.
We won't lose our biggest sale ever.
383
00:18:06,541 --> 00:18:10,291
Imagine. If you save
the Princess of China...
384
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,000
[soft music playing]
385
00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,666
- Ah.
- Ah, yeah.
386
00:18:16,666 --> 00:18:19,000
- Yeah... I'll understand on the way.
- [Ekonomikrisis] Go!
387
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,583
[Bankruptis] Take care, unkie.
388
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,166
[grunts]
389
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:23,791
[sighs]
390
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:27,458
I happen to be an amateur pugilist.
391
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:28,458
Let me deal with this.
392
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,333
- [lively music playing]
- So, fellas?
393
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,416
- Hassling ladies, are we?
- [punch landing]
394
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:34,458
[groans]
395
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:36,583
[sighs]
396
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,250
So I left the room, and then...
397
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:41,250
What happened?
398
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:44,458
- You got kicked in the head.
- Ah, of course!
399
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,583
That's what happened.
400
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,666
So, are we having fun yet, Empress?
401
00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:48,833
Excuse me just one second,
402
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:51,333
but who on earth are you?
Because none of this makes much sense.
403
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:53,208
I'm totally lost, I'm baffled here.
404
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,333
- So then?
- The princess is still missing.
405
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,625
And if she's hiding, she's smart.
406
00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:01,125
Dodging us like a sly little fishy...
407
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,916
Find her, offer a reward!
Tell the whole kingdom!
408
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,000
I want her alive!
For our beautiful forced wedding!
409
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,958
[laughs]
410
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:12,583
I know my daughter.
411
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:13,916
She will seek her revenge.
412
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:16,125
Now that's a scary thought.
Spoiled princess,
413
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:17,208
who's never been outside!
414
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:19,333
- That's my bride you're talking about.
- Sorry, Master.
415
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:21,375
Yeah I'm sorry too,
but tell us what's going on,
416
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:23,333
I'm so puzzled, as in totally perplexed.
417
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,333
I'll have you decapitated, Empress.
418
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:26,625
You'll decapitate no one.
419
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,333
Where's your manners?
You don't do that.
420
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,125
He's not wrong,
you can't be the one to kill the Empress.
421
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:32,500
[Deng Tsin Qin] Why not?
422
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:36,000
It's not that simple, because the Princes
in the other kingdoms hate your guts.
423
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,708
They claim you're not Emperor material,
424
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:40,000
and also, their words not mine,
you're physically ugly,
425
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,541
and you've got an itty-bitty little--
426
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:44,750
- Don't you dare.
- I meant army. You have a small army.
427
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,083
It's the smallest one out there.
428
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,000
If you try to beat them,
you've got zero chance.
429
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,750
[Deng Tsin Qin] I'm assuming you wouldn't
say this unless you had a plan?
430
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,166
Well assumed.
431
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,666
- And my idea--
- Hush!
432
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,958
- Right, haul them in! Let's go!
- No.
433
00:19:57,958 --> 00:19:59,333
- Take it easy.
- [Deng Tsin Qin] Move!
434
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:02,041
Easy, there's an Empress here,
and the jars are breakable.
435
00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,041
[Deng Tsin Qin] China is ours!
436
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:07,166
- [evil laughter]
- [emotional music playing]
437
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:28,500
[sobbing]
438
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,500
[Bankruptis] It's gonna be fine, Princess.
439
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,291
And you can count on me. Okay? You and me.
440
00:20:40,291 --> 00:20:42,791
- [mutters in pain]
- [bones cracking]
441
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,416
[Bankruptis] Don't worry. We'll help you!
442
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:46,083
Because it's a known fact,
443
00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:48,125
us Gauls, we just love helping others.
444
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:49,583
No!
445
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,458
No, no, no and no!
446
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,083
[Vitalstatistix] Out of the question!
447
00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:56,083
Dunno about you, but I found
this story extremely long-winded.
448
00:20:56,083 --> 00:21:00,916
And frankly, by Belenus, why does everyone
always have to come to us for support?
449
00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:02,916
Hold on now, Vitalstatistix,
450
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,291
it's a tradition.
451
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:07,000
We provide assistance
to those who need it.
452
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,083
Including our good friend Bank...
453
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:10,708
- Ruptis.
- ...Ruptis.
454
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:14,041
- Ruptix.
- Right, well... it's a no, that's it.
455
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:16,500
It's often been yes.
But this time, it's no.
456
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:20,083
[Vitalstatistix] I've got a bad feeling.
China's far away, we've never been!
457
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:21,833
Nor our forefathers!
Where it is, we don't know.
458
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,791
Sure we do, come on.
459
00:21:22,791 --> 00:21:24,291
Yeah, even I know where it is.
460
00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:27,041
It's over yonder.
Where the sun rises, huh?
461
00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:29,458
[Obélix] He doesn't even know that?
[laughs]
462
00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:31,250
I'm not sure where it is and I'm the boss.
463
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,375
Oh Chief, I respect your decision.
464
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,833
I will take my leave now
to save my mother and homeland.
465
00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:37,916
- [Bankruptis] No, no, no.
- Please wait, Princess...
466
00:21:39,958 --> 00:21:40,916
Well, I could go.
467
00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:44,375
As it happens, I'm free at the moment.
468
00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:48,625
Well, I'm free too, at the moment.
I wouldn't mind going.
469
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,791
Hey, you two! Who's on the chair here?
470
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,958
Are you village chief now?
471
00:21:53,958 --> 00:21:55,916
Alright, I've heard enough of this.
472
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:58,541
- Still no!
- Have you completely lost your mind?
473
00:21:58,541 --> 00:22:00,708
Fine chief you are!
474
00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:02,583
Ignoring the anguish of an innocent girl.
475
00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,583
- Oh no, Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
476
00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:07,458
- This how you welcome friends from China?
- Seriously.
477
00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:11,541
[Impedimenta] Your Gaul's not pretty!
All because China is too far away?
478
00:22:11,541 --> 00:22:13,791
It's not you making the trip,
so what do you care?
479
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,125
- [sighs]
- Am I wrong?
480
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,000
It's Astérix and Obélix, as usual.
481
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,500
[laughter]
482
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,000
Get this, if some idiots ever write
the story of our village,
483
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,458
rest assured no one'll be calling it
Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
484
00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,166
Even Dogmatix travels more than you!
485
00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:28,125
- [laughter]
- Do you hear that, Dogmatix?
486
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:29,625
[barking]
487
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,000
[laughter]
488
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,208
Oh man. That's brutal.
489
00:22:32,208 --> 00:22:34,625
Sure, when it's all about
magic potion and moustaches,
490
00:22:34,625 --> 00:22:35,708
then you're on board,
491
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,000
but when things become delicate,
you disappear!
492
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:40,791
[grunts]
493
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,875
[grunt]
494
00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:48,208
Okay, go ahead, go on.
495
00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:50,625
- Hurray!
- [sigh of relief]
496
00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:53,041
- [joyful babbling]
- Thank you. I can't thank you enough.
497
00:22:53,041 --> 00:22:55,916
- [lyre]
- ♪ My dear companions as you leave ♪
498
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,125
[sighs]
499
00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:00,416
♪ My heart must come to realise ♪
500
00:23:01,958 --> 00:23:03,750
♪ It must be worn upon my sleeve... ♪
501
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:05,708
[yelps]
502
00:23:06,416 --> 00:23:09,375
[epic music playing]
503
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:16,666
[narrator] Meanwhile, in the eternal,
and well-irrigated city of Rome,
504
00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:20,000
we join Julius Caesar
in his magnificent palace,
505
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,541
revelling in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
506
00:23:23,541 --> 00:23:26,625
the gorgeous, mild-mannered Cleopatra.
507
00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:31,125
[Cleopatra] I have had it!
You hear me? I have had it!
508
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,875
Pray tell what all this is about?
509
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,583
I'm packing all my things
and going back home.
510
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:42,291
I should have listened to Mummy.
511
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,625
Now that we're over, I can say it.
512
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,916
- There is someone else.
- Someone else?
513
00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:49,458
[gasps]
514
00:23:49,458 --> 00:23:51,083
[Caesar] You can't be serious!
515
00:23:52,375 --> 00:23:54,291
What do you mean, there's someone else?
516
00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:57,791
What do you mean?
Is this about Infidelitatis?
517
00:23:57,791 --> 00:23:59,166
That is right.
518
00:24:00,958 --> 00:24:02,041
And...
519
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,208
and for whom
would you leave the Great Caesar?
520
00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:08,791
Tabascos!
521
00:24:08,791 --> 00:24:10,958
- [Greek music playing]
- [Caesar] Tabascos?
522
00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:12,166
The Greek guy?
523
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:15,625
[laughter]
524
00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:17,791
Tabascos, the Greek.
525
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,750
So you would be prepared
to leave the Great Caesar...
526
00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:24,291
for the pecs of a common gym teacher?
527
00:24:26,041 --> 00:24:29,041
Very well, we'll see about that
after the lions.
528
00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:32,166
Don't you dare whack my Tabascos!
529
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:34,291
I love him, you understand?
530
00:24:34,291 --> 00:24:36,000
What... What's that, you love him?
531
00:24:37,416 --> 00:24:38,625
What do you mean, you love him?
532
00:24:39,666 --> 00:24:41,958
What could he possibly have
that I don't, huh?
533
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:43,875
He is a world-famous athlete.
534
00:24:43,875 --> 00:24:46,375
As for you, outside of Rome and Gaul,
nobody knows you.
535
00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:47,375
Oof.
536
00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:48,458
[laughs]
537
00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:51,125
Priceless! Nobody knows Julius Caesar?
538
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:52,041
Well, go ahead.
539
00:24:52,666 --> 00:24:55,000
Follow your international ambitions
with your athlete.
540
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,666
{\an8}- [in Greek] Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
- [gasps]
541
00:24:57,666 --> 00:24:59,375
- [clears throat]
- [Caesar in English] Yes...
542
00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,166
Uh, if I may, oh Caesar?
543
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,125
Minor marital strife, but it's settled.
544
00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:08,750
So speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious, homely advisor of mine.
545
00:25:08,750 --> 00:25:12,333
[Slius Foxxus] Hail, Caesar!
You are quite observant, you've nailed me.
546
00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:25,583
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat
the ambassador of Prince Deng Tsin Qin,
547
00:25:25,583 --> 00:25:27,083
the new master of China.
548
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,750
How is it that an empire so large
has a representative so puny?
549
00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:34,041
Yeah, well, because it's not the size
that counts but the know-how, oh Caesar.
550
00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:35,666
And some men have neither!
551
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:38,958
[she laughs]
552
00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:40,625
[whispering] She's a beaut!
553
00:25:40,625 --> 00:25:42,083
What brings you, puny?
554
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:44,291
Oh Caesar, I have come to offer you
the great riches
555
00:25:44,291 --> 00:25:45,708
of my adopted homeland
556
00:25:45,708 --> 00:25:48,125
in exchange for modest military aid.
557
00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:51,750
[scoffs] Even the great Alexander
gave up on conquering China.
558
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:54,500
It's the perfect chance
to expand my empire...
559
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,333
Your empire, oh Caesar.
560
00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,125
But I've had it with conquering,
561
00:25:58,125 --> 00:26:01,416
and my name in history
has already been forever immortalised.
562
00:26:01,416 --> 00:26:04,166
I love it when you talk like that.
I adore it!
563
00:26:04,166 --> 00:26:05,125
So well spoken.
564
00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:08,583
- Well spoken, eh?
- Biopix, my biographer from Galicia.
565
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:11,125
[Slius Foxxus] The stupendous
accomplishments of mighty Caesar,
566
00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:12,708
what better story to tell?
567
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:14,166
Enough. Begone, the two of you.
568
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:18,000
Oh Caesar, since you wish
to go down in history, you must be aware
569
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,208
that in China, you are less than a star.
570
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,083
What did I say? [laughs]
571
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:25,041
I'm getting good and fed up now!
572
00:26:25,958 --> 00:26:28,958
I, Caesar, man of a thousand conquests,
573
00:26:28,958 --> 00:26:30,333
and no one even knows me?
574
00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:32,833
- Alas.
- [laughs]
575
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:36,708
["Le Diro Parole Blu" playing]
576
00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:44,916
[Scar Dee Kat] He speaks the truth.
577
00:26:44,916 --> 00:26:46,041
In China, at least.
578
00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,875
Go to your happy place, okay? Happy.
579
00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:50,500
Very well, Scar Dee Kat,
580
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,875
step forward and describe this alliance
581
00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,041
- and this empire...
- [door slams]
582
00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:56,958
...that's about to see how great I am!
583
00:26:56,958 --> 00:26:58,583
[Cleopatra laughs]
584
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:02,166
Explain your plan to me,
and remember, this Caesar's seasoned.
585
00:27:02,166 --> 00:27:03,250
[laughs]
586
00:27:04,041 --> 00:27:05,625
[light-hearted music playing]
587
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:09,125
Alright, so I replaced your buggy
'cause you need something sturdy, right?
588
00:27:09,125 --> 00:27:12,291
This here's a ride. The best around,
on loan from Cousin Turbo.
589
00:27:12,291 --> 00:27:14,625
- I pimped it with boar bellies.
- Wow.
590
00:27:14,625 --> 00:27:17,458
That's right.
Shock-absorbing air cushions, like.
591
00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:18,416
And...
592
00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:20,125
the sun roof.
593
00:27:20,125 --> 00:27:21,416
Awesome. [exhales]
594
00:27:21,416 --> 00:27:24,125
Let me tell you. It's the perfect chariot.
595
00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:25,458
It's magnificent.
596
00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:30,791
Right, let's go.
597
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:35,041
[Astérix] Down you get.
Princess, care to board the chariot?
598
00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:39,541
[sighs] Ah, tough bananas, thank you.
599
00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:42,791
Ah... We're in for a great trip, Princess.
600
00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:48,208
Astérix, I've prepared you
some magic potion.
601
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:51,958
But since Obélix mentioned
you didn't want it, I wasn't so sure.
602
00:27:51,958 --> 00:27:53,250
No, I'm just... I'm just fine.
603
00:27:54,458 --> 00:27:56,166
I... Well...
604
00:27:56,166 --> 00:27:58,791
No harm having it just in case,
I guess, but...
605
00:27:58,791 --> 00:28:00,208
I'd like to cut down some.
606
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:02,541
Alright, then be careful
because I beefed it up good.
607
00:28:02,541 --> 00:28:04,416
[sneezes]
608
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,000
[whizzing, sizzling]
609
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,208
[crowd laughing]
610
00:28:08,916 --> 00:28:09,875
You sampled it?
611
00:28:09,875 --> 00:28:14,166
No, I, uh, took a sip, a tiny sip.
Had to taste.
612
00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:16,333
- You know, it's...
- [Astérix] Yeah, right.
613
00:28:16,916 --> 00:28:18,416
Good luck, Princess!
614
00:28:18,916 --> 00:28:20,166
As for you two,
615
00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:22,166
be brave, be reckless,
616
00:28:22,166 --> 00:28:25,833
and completely disingenuous.
In short, just be Gauls.
617
00:28:25,833 --> 00:28:28,208
[cheering]
618
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:29,708
Hang on tight, you lot!
619
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,625
Oh, we didn't tell you,
it's a much faster return trip.
620
00:28:32,625 --> 00:28:35,291
[Bankruptis mocks him]
"Faster return trip"... [sighs]
621
00:28:35,291 --> 00:28:38,541
Excuse me, but, uh, I wish to point out
622
00:28:38,541 --> 00:28:43,750
that the role of a bard is to celebrate
our heroes and their exploits... Right?
623
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:46,083
So what is my purpose,
if I don't ever get to travel, eh?
624
00:28:46,083 --> 00:28:47,958
- He's got a point.
- Go on, go on, go on.
625
00:28:47,958 --> 00:28:49,916
- Excellent idea
- No, no, no, go. Fast.
626
00:28:49,916 --> 00:28:51,333
Cacophonix will travel with you...
627
00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:55,083
- [coughing]
- [Cacofonix sighs]
628
00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:57,166
Oh no. They forgot me!
629
00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:58,291
[all] Oh.
630
00:28:58,291 --> 00:29:01,333
- ♪ They forgot me! ♪
- [lyre]
631
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:02,666
[sings high-pitched note]
632
00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:04,375
[moans]
633
00:29:05,416 --> 00:29:06,916
ARMORICA
634
00:29:06,916 --> 00:29:10,333
[narrator] And so our friends set off
at high speed toward the South,
635
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:13,666
favouring the maritime course which,
according to Getafix,
636
00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:15,916
is faster than the Silk Road.
637
00:29:16,541 --> 00:29:20,166
After rowing across the Mediterranean,
thanks to Obélix,
638
00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:22,208
they reach northern Africa.
639
00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,958
Friction and wring.
640
00:29:30,958 --> 00:29:33,416
I don't know how.
I was supposed to learn Kung Fu.
641
00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:37,583
Friction.
642
00:29:38,541 --> 00:29:39,916
And wring.
643
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,250
[Astérix sighs]
644
00:29:45,708 --> 00:29:47,916
Oh, uh, It's happening again.
645
00:29:47,916 --> 00:29:49,416
[breathes erratically]
646
00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:51,375
Astérix? Enjoying the view?
647
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:52,833
Want some barley beer? A chair?
648
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,666
Be right back! Coming right up.
649
00:29:55,166 --> 00:29:57,791
Nothing's coming right up!
What are you playing at?
650
00:29:57,791 --> 00:29:58,958
The same thing as you.
651
00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:02,375
Does she know that you spy on her?
Well, maybe I'll tell her.
652
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:06,708
She's magnificent.
653
00:30:07,416 --> 00:30:09,416
[Astérix] She's learning to launder
'cause she knows
654
00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:11,416
her routine
will be rougher in Gaul with me, hmm?
655
00:30:11,416 --> 00:30:13,958
- She's preparing for her new life.
- [laughs]
656
00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,333
The Princess of China, in Gaul?
Living with peasants?
657
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:18,291
[scoffs] Really?
658
00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:21,375
What part of, "Sa See and I are an item,"
do you not get the meaning of?
659
00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:23,458
- You're not an item.
- We are so an item.
660
00:30:23,458 --> 00:30:24,833
Going on six months.
661
00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:27,708
- You are?
- Oh, gimme a break!
662
00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:29,708
I'll make this really simple for you.
663
00:30:29,708 --> 00:30:32,500
Sa See and I are together.
We're in love, we're getting married.
664
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:35,125
Oh! Congratulations, Bankruptis.
665
00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:36,916
- Many thanks, Obélix.
- I just love weddings.
666
00:30:36,916 --> 00:30:38,541
I do. With a banquet?
667
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:42,000
With a banquet, and you know what Obélix?
You'll be best man.
668
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,125
Oh! Gee, thank you!
I've never been a best man before.
669
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:48,208
Now, Obélix, would you, please,
not swallow any old story,
670
00:30:48,208 --> 00:30:49,416
it's intensely aggravating.
671
00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:51,458
If they're in love,
they're in love, it's not my fault.
672
00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:53,708
- It's so obvious.
- They are not in love.
673
00:30:53,708 --> 00:30:56,125
And until she's with somebody,
she's not with anyone.
674
00:30:56,125 --> 00:30:57,333
[Astérix] May the best man win.
675
00:30:57,333 --> 00:31:00,708
I just can't wait to see her face
when I'm gonna tell her,
676
00:31:01,416 --> 00:31:03,541
you're just posing as a Gaul.
And you're a fake blonde.
677
00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:06,500
Oh yeah? Well, I also can't wait
to see her face,
678
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:07,958
when I tell her your moustache is all...
679
00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:09,458
Yeah, well, what about my moustache?
680
00:31:09,458 --> 00:31:11,208
- Your moustache.
- Yeah? Yeah?
681
00:31:11,916 --> 00:31:12,916
It's really horrible.
682
00:31:12,916 --> 00:31:14,250
Oh no.
683
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,583
So rude.
684
00:31:17,583 --> 00:31:19,125
Yeah. So there.
685
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,083
- That was uncalled for.
- Not the moustache. Come on.
686
00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:23,750
I shouldn't have,
but he shouldn't have pushed it.
687
00:31:23,750 --> 00:31:25,250
[Obélix] Moustache is off limits.
688
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,458
- [indistinct chatter]
- [Bankruptis] What's he doing?
689
00:31:27,458 --> 00:31:30,458
- Might be.
- Dobbing us in. He's spilling the beans!
690
00:31:30,458 --> 00:31:32,583
And he's supposed to be your friend?
691
00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:34,041
Oh, let's leave. Let's go.
692
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:37,250
- [both scream]
- What are you doing?
693
00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:41,583
We're doing nothing. Actually, yes,
we were looking for a... a date! Is all.
694
00:31:41,583 --> 00:31:44,500
- For the wedding.
- Yeah. No. We want to eat the fruit.
695
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:45,708
- To eat the fruit.
- At the wedding.
696
00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:47,083
[Bankruptis] No. To eat it here.
697
00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:49,458
- I'm the best man.
- Ah... This is impossible.
698
00:31:50,166 --> 00:31:51,750
This guy's on a loop.
699
00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:55,125
- Right, we're off. Pardon me.
- [comical music playing]
700
00:31:56,041 --> 00:31:58,458
[whispering] Did you not
get the "shut up" memo?
701
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:05,750
Goodnight, Mr. Know-It-All!
702
00:32:07,250 --> 00:32:08,875
Goodnight,
Mr. I-Got-A-New-Best-Friend.
703
00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:11,666
Goodnight, Mr. Vegetables!
704
00:32:11,666 --> 00:32:14,916
[mocking]
Oh, love those vegetables! Yummy!
705
00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:16,625
Goodnight, Mr. Wannabe-A-Blonde.
706
00:32:16,625 --> 00:32:17,625
Goodnight, Mr.--
707
00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:19,125
[Ka Ra Tay]
Just say goodnight and be done!
708
00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:20,083
Mm.
709
00:32:20,083 --> 00:32:21,208
He started it. He did.
710
00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:22,541
[Obélix] Good night, Ka Ra Tay.
711
00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:25,041
[sighs]
712
00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:27,958
[whispering] Ka Ra Tay.
713
00:32:28,791 --> 00:32:30,916
Do you believe
that my mother's still alive?
714
00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:34,416
The Empress is heir
to the Heavens, Princess.
715
00:32:34,916 --> 00:32:36,500
Nothing bad can become of her.
716
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:42,291
Goodnight, Mr. "I'm in love
with someone and I can't even tell her."
717
00:32:42,291 --> 00:32:46,083
Goodnight, Mr. "I make no sense and
I'm so huge no one can see past my belly."
718
00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:49,666
Goodnight, Mr. "I sleep alone like I'm
an itsy-bitsy insect, like this big."
719
00:32:49,666 --> 00:32:51,166
- Oh!
- That's enough!
720
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:53,041
[Obélix] Yep.
[Astérix] Got it. Sorry.
721
00:32:54,583 --> 00:32:56,583
[mysterious music playing]
722
00:33:13,541 --> 00:33:14,958
Well, hello!
723
00:33:14,958 --> 00:33:17,416
How you feeling? Did you have a good trip?
724
00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:34,916
Your daughter remains missing.
We've searched too long,
725
00:33:34,916 --> 00:33:36,166
and the country is too vast.
726
00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:38,791
And good morning.
There's two of us in the room.
727
00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:40,958
- Who are you again?
- The minute my allies are here,
728
00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:42,250
I'll have you decapitated.
729
00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:44,750
There you go, I'm good.
You had me at decapitated.
730
00:33:44,750 --> 00:33:46,666
You're the guy who enjoys decapitations.
731
00:33:46,666 --> 00:33:47,750
And you too, merchant.
732
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:50,125
Not me, I've got nothing to do with this.
733
00:33:50,125 --> 00:33:52,708
- I'll give you some advice, though...
- Your balls are on the line.
734
00:33:56,166 --> 00:33:57,333
[dramatic music playing]
735
00:33:57,333 --> 00:33:58,791
Day one.
736
00:33:59,291 --> 00:34:02,250
At the end of the abacus,
if the Princess hasn't been captured,
737
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:04,750
the two of you...
738
00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:08,750
We have two lives.
739
00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:11,875
The second one begins
when we realise we have only one.
740
00:34:13,541 --> 00:34:14,500
I thank you for that.
741
00:34:16,333 --> 00:34:17,958
Wow!
742
00:34:18,458 --> 00:34:21,708
Ah, now, there is a real Empress.
That's so good.
743
00:34:21,708 --> 00:34:24,375
"We have two lives,
and it's finished when you...
744
00:34:24,375 --> 00:34:27,625
And your second one begins
when the first, uh... the first life...
745
00:34:27,625 --> 00:34:29,625
of which we only have two.
746
00:34:29,625 --> 00:34:33,166
And only when they begin do we...
Thank you for that.
747
00:34:33,166 --> 00:34:35,166
The first life begins...
748
00:34:39,583 --> 00:34:42,833
[narrator] Meanwhile, Caesar,
his powerful army, and Scar Dee Kat
749
00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,208
have taken the Silk Road,
750
00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:47,416
and are hurtling towards China
at breakneck speed.
751
00:34:47,416 --> 00:34:48,375
Well, sort of.
752
00:34:48,375 --> 00:34:49,666
[shouting]
753
00:34:49,666 --> 00:34:51,333
[soldier 1] Silk Road, Schmilk Road!
754
00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,750
You got us good and lost!
You just won't admit it.
755
00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:56,458
[soldier 2] Woopsus!
Where are you taking us?
756
00:34:56,458 --> 00:34:59,250
At least nine thousand men
have wandered North!
757
00:34:59,250 --> 00:35:00,916
I'm not gonna take it anymore!
758
00:35:00,916 --> 00:35:02,625
I can't work like this!
759
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:05,000
[soldier 1] Join the Army, they said.
760
00:35:06,208 --> 00:35:09,125
- [military snare playing]
- [thunder rumbling]
761
00:35:09,125 --> 00:35:11,291
[Caesar] Woopsus,
do we go around left or right?
762
00:35:11,291 --> 00:35:13,583
[Woopsus] That's a no-brainus,
we should go left.
763
00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:15,375
Ergo, we will go right.
764
00:35:15,375 --> 00:35:16,375
Excuse me,
765
00:35:16,375 --> 00:35:18,458
how long's all this left-right-left stuff
gonna last?
766
00:35:18,458 --> 00:35:21,041
'Cause at this rate,
we'll never get to China.
767
00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:22,500
Who does this man think he is?
768
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:25,041
[Risklus] Hail, Caesar.
Risklus, secret service.
769
00:35:25,041 --> 00:35:29,041
Hail, Caesar. Risklus, secret service.
770
00:35:29,041 --> 00:35:32,416
Yes, we know. Everyone knows you.
Why are you here? And where is Antivirus?
771
00:35:32,416 --> 00:35:36,583
Still on the front line in Milan.
I don't think he's opening my pigeons.
772
00:35:37,166 --> 00:35:38,166
[sighs]
773
00:35:38,166 --> 00:35:39,500
But, Caesar, I am here.
774
00:35:40,333 --> 00:35:41,166
Not as impressive.
775
00:35:41,166 --> 00:35:43,250
Not as impressive at all.
776
00:35:43,250 --> 00:35:44,833
[Caesar] Right. What do you want?
777
00:35:44,833 --> 00:35:48,583
Oh mighty Caesar, Carioca,
your chief dancer, requests a hearing.
778
00:35:48,583 --> 00:35:51,583
Uh, she got all sorts of claims
for respect and all that.
779
00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:53,041
Should I just slug her?
780
00:35:53,041 --> 00:35:54,000
What's wrong with you?
781
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:56,958
- [Caesar] Show her in.
- Huh!
782
00:35:58,041 --> 00:36:00,000
Oy! Uh, Tapioca!
783
00:36:00,916 --> 00:36:02,833
[off-key horn playing]
784
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,625
So, Carioca. What can I do for you?
785
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:12,583
Oh Caesar, we just received
our new costumes. And guess what?
786
00:36:12,583 --> 00:36:14,750
Shorter than ever. I wonder why.
787
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,750
If what you wanted was go-go taverns,
788
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:19,500
you should've stayed in Rome,
plenty there.
789
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:21,541
Ooh, wouldn't know, I do apologise.
790
00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,208
Oh, you do!
The Palladium, behind the market.
791
00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:26,083
By the Circus,
between Sternum's and Scrotum's.
792
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:27,291
Right.
793
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:31,500
Is that what you want, Carioca?
Knee-length costumes for your dancers?
794
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:34,708
For a start.
Plus, moving forward, we could discuss
795
00:36:34,708 --> 00:36:37,666
the issue of the place of women
in our society, pretty long overdue.
796
00:36:37,666 --> 00:36:40,041
Look, it's all about the men,
around here. Right?
797
00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,833
Gladiators? All men.
798
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:44,916
Senators? All of them, men.
Your legions, of course, are all male.
799
00:36:44,916 --> 00:36:45,958
And Caesars?
800
00:36:45,958 --> 00:36:48,500
- [Carioca] Nothing but males!
- So a Juliet Caesar'd be better?
801
00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:50,916
[laughter]
802
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,250
You want Rome
to be ruled over by a female?
803
00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:55,458
[all laughing]
804
00:36:56,708 --> 00:36:57,666
That's right.
805
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,666
[narrator] Back to our friends,
806
00:37:07,666 --> 00:37:10,333
who have crossed
the vast Egyptian deserts,
807
00:37:10,333 --> 00:37:12,625
under the scorching sun,
808
00:37:12,625 --> 00:37:16,458
finally reaching the Red Sea,
and the city of Clysma,
809
00:37:16,458 --> 00:37:20,125
a small Egyptian harbour
later to be known as Suez.
810
00:37:20,125 --> 00:37:22,083
Yeah, as in the Suez Canal.
811
00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:30,166
[Bankruptis]
If it's a captain we're after,
812
00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:31,958
I guarantee we'll find one here.
813
00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:35,375
[Obélix] Oh, look Astérix,
the tavern's named after Lutetia, in Gaul!
814
00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:42,208
[Tipsy in French] ♪ Dare to come
And cast the first stone ♪
815
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,666
♪ To fall for one head over heels ♪
816
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,750
♪ Leaves a wound that never heals ♪
817
00:37:49,750 --> 00:37:53,791
♪ But the love you feel is the real deal ♪
818
00:37:56,291 --> 00:38:00,166
- ♪ So don't be harsh or disapprove ♪
- [Astérix and Bankruptis sing]
819
00:38:00,166 --> 00:38:01,333
♪ When a woman ♪
820
00:38:01,333 --> 00:38:03,041
- ♪ Falls in love ♪
- No.
821
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:05,708
Nope. You don't know it.
822
00:38:05,708 --> 00:38:07,375
I do know it, pal.
823
00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:09,916
[Tipsy, Bankruptis, Astérix]
♪ With a man who sweeps her off her feet ♪
824
00:38:09,916 --> 00:38:11,083
Wow!
825
00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:13,083
- [cheering]
- [Bankruptis in English] Wow, bravo!
826
00:38:16,458 --> 00:38:18,166
See that? That's Gaul right there.
827
00:38:18,166 --> 00:38:19,666
I just love it here!
828
00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:22,166
That's exactly my idea
of what Lutetia'd be like!
829
00:38:22,166 --> 00:38:24,041
[man] Tipsy! Tipsy!
830
00:38:24,041 --> 00:38:25,083
Mine too.
831
00:38:25,666 --> 00:38:27,583
[Obélix gasps]
832
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,458
Oh, this is good. So good!
I bet you're a Gaul.
833
00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:34,750
Oh, yeah, big boy. Born and bred.
834
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:37,625
- Have you been here a long time?
- Been a while, I'd say.
835
00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:41,541
Used to run a small cabaret in Lutetia.
Turned a good profit, packed every night.
836
00:38:41,541 --> 00:38:43,666
But I fell for the wrong sort of guy.
837
00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:45,833
Some little punk
wanted me to hustle for him.
838
00:38:45,833 --> 00:38:48,041
What he really wanted was
to gouge me outta my business.
839
00:38:48,041 --> 00:38:51,625
So who took her loot
and flew the coop all the way out here?
840
00:38:51,625 --> 00:38:53,875
Tipsy, baby! That's right!
841
00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:56,500
What about you blondies?
What brought you here?
842
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,708
We're after the best captain in town.
843
00:38:58,708 --> 00:39:01,125
Oh! That guy over there, that's Titanix.
844
00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,500
Is he tough?
845
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,375
Titanix?
The guy's a champ, hook, line and sinker!
846
00:39:07,916 --> 00:39:11,041
- Hmm. Thanks for the tip, Tipsy.
- From one Gaul to another!
847
00:39:12,041 --> 00:39:13,708
Normally we keep mutts outside.
848
00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:15,458
But I like the look of you.
849
00:39:16,291 --> 00:39:18,291
[reggae music playing]
850
00:39:21,791 --> 00:39:24,166
We want to charter a boat to China.
851
00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:27,000
To China, on a boat?
I can't be bothered with that.
852
00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:29,333
[Titanix] What I can offer is this.
853
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:33,375
Day tour of the Creeks of Clysma.
All the kebabs you can eat, beaches,
854
00:39:33,375 --> 00:39:35,083
- great sunsets...
- [ding]
855
00:39:35,083 --> 00:39:36,708
Super package.
856
00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:39,500
Well, I mean not for now. For later.
857
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:41,750
This gem is worth more than your boat.
858
00:39:42,750 --> 00:39:44,291
Perfect, why didn't you start with that?
859
00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:47,000
- Hey, what's--
- [Tipsy] You out of your minds?
860
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,083
Think I came this far
for you to shake me down ?
861
00:39:49,083 --> 00:39:51,916
Now take a hike before I get my whip!
862
00:39:51,916 --> 00:39:54,125
Looks like Tipsy's coming up
to her tipping point.
863
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:58,083
- What's the trouble, Tipsy?
- These gentlemen wanna raid my pockets.
864
00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,083
I'm gonna give them
a taste of their own medicine!
865
00:40:00,083 --> 00:40:02,750
- Nobody messes with Tipsy!
- [tutting]
866
00:40:03,291 --> 00:40:05,583
Might you be a bit light-weight
for all this?
867
00:40:05,583 --> 00:40:07,458
What do you want with the lady?
868
00:40:08,875 --> 00:40:09,750
Who's the lightweight?
869
00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:12,791
[laughing]
870
00:40:14,416 --> 00:40:15,583
[laughs] He's funny.
871
00:40:15,583 --> 00:40:17,458
You know, Princess, in Gaul,
872
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:20,416
when three-hundred pound guys
say certain things,
873
00:40:21,083 --> 00:40:23,541
the feather weights don't buy it!
874
00:40:23,541 --> 00:40:26,000
- [tense music playing]
- [groans]
875
00:40:27,750 --> 00:40:29,833
[clears throat] Hmm...
876
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:31,333
[tutting]
877
00:40:31,333 --> 00:40:32,333
Mm-hmm. Mm.
878
00:40:33,458 --> 00:40:35,208
- Mm.
- [sighs]
879
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,375
[gulping]
880
00:40:41,166 --> 00:40:42,125
[grunts]
881
00:40:42,125 --> 00:40:43,416
[lively music playing]
882
00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:49,250
[grunts, makes animal sounds]
883
00:40:49,250 --> 00:40:51,041
[shouts]
884
00:40:51,041 --> 00:40:52,125
Whoa, it's a lizard!
885
00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:55,666
[trumpeting]
886
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,333
Whoa.
887
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:01,708
What's happening here?
888
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,500
[music intensifies]
889
00:41:08,041 --> 00:41:09,208
[shouts]
890
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,250
[crowd gasps]
891
00:41:12,416 --> 00:41:15,291
This is potent stuff.
He went overboard on this one.
892
00:41:15,291 --> 00:41:17,333
Hey, hey! Come on, give me a taste.
893
00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:19,291
- [Obélix] We won't tell anyone.
- This one even less.
894
00:41:19,291 --> 00:41:22,458
[panting, coughing]
895
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:24,875
[Astérix] You get one. Take your pick.
896
00:41:25,458 --> 00:41:26,916
I'll take the big one, then.
897
00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:29,958
- [comical music playing]
- [sighs]
898
00:41:29,958 --> 00:41:31,000
Gentlemen.
899
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,333
[laughs]
900
00:41:33,333 --> 00:41:36,916
[scattered gasps]
901
00:41:40,416 --> 00:41:44,291
I'm not allowed to drink any 'cause
I fell in the cauldron when I was a kid.
902
00:41:44,291 --> 00:41:46,000
So this won't hurt as much.
903
00:41:46,833 --> 00:41:48,583
[screams]
904
00:41:48,583 --> 00:41:51,166
[epic music playing]
905
00:42:04,833 --> 00:42:08,208
[Bankruptis] So imagine this. A mini
amphora with two little wings painted on.
906
00:42:08,208 --> 00:42:10,375
Inside, we put a tiny drop
of magic potion,
907
00:42:10,375 --> 00:42:12,041
just enough to give you a good boost.
908
00:42:12,041 --> 00:42:14,583
We sell the beverage as a power drink...
909
00:42:14,583 --> 00:42:17,625
I'm still working on the concept
but I will come up with a name.
910
00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:20,333
In Rome, with all the orgies,
911
00:42:20,333 --> 00:42:22,500
youngsters dancing till the break of dawn,
912
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:23,625
we'd make a killing.
913
00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:26,791
[Titanix] Well, I'm your man
for all things transport.
914
00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:30,458
- What's that you're doing?
- It is Tai Chi.
915
00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:33,333
An ancient Chinese technique
to recharge the body's energy.
916
00:42:34,333 --> 00:42:36,291
It's wild that we should meet now.
917
00:42:36,291 --> 00:42:39,666
My life's just taken a new direction
that's totally in step with your culture.
918
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,458
Balance, nutrition, energy,
all that good stuff, you know.
919
00:42:44,291 --> 00:42:45,708
I can tell we're really connected.
920
00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:46,791
Hmm...
921
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,416
[heavy breathing]
922
00:42:51,416 --> 00:42:53,375
- You finished?
- Now we meditate.
923
00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:55,166
- Yeah!
- No speaking.
924
00:43:01,416 --> 00:43:03,333
[whispering] That coin is something else.
925
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:07,000
That's you?
926
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,625
Yeah. A gift from my mother.
927
00:43:10,833 --> 00:43:12,458
She must love you so much.
928
00:43:12,458 --> 00:43:14,541
[sad music playing]
929
00:43:15,208 --> 00:43:18,333
When she gave it to me,
I didn't even smile.
930
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,375
You need not worry, Princess.
931
00:43:21,375 --> 00:43:23,208
I will free your mother, trust me.
932
00:43:24,333 --> 00:43:25,916
I am here for you.
933
00:43:26,416 --> 00:43:27,875
Excuse me, if I may,
934
00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:32,125
for starters, we are here for you!
And some of us showed up, for you
935
00:43:32,125 --> 00:43:34,000
right at the beginning of the adventure.
936
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,416
Sorry, excuse me.
937
00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:36,958
Princess...
938
00:43:37,833 --> 00:43:38,958
[vamping music playing]
939
00:43:42,750 --> 00:43:45,500
[Ekonomikrisis] What are you doing?
No, you moved two balls.
940
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,333
- No.
- Put one back. Yeah, you did.
941
00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,083
You moved two balls, put one back.
Don't you go pushing my balls.
942
00:43:50,083 --> 00:43:51,666
Not that I'm not loving this place.
943
00:43:51,666 --> 00:43:55,541
[laughs] I mean... Speaking of which,
did you put any thought towards
944
00:43:56,666 --> 00:43:58,333
my proposition?
945
00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:02,458
This one is gonna be a toughie.
946
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:05,458
Having said that,
I'm used to tough negotiations!
947
00:44:05,458 --> 00:44:07,333
- Ekonomikrisis?
- Yeah?
948
00:44:07,333 --> 00:44:09,000
If one day we get out,
949
00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:12,166
would you like to continue
doing business in China?
950
00:44:12,166 --> 00:44:14,416
- Oh yes! Very much!
- Then talk no more.
951
00:44:16,208 --> 00:44:18,458
You've been placed
in my cell to torture me.
952
00:44:19,083 --> 00:44:20,375
Well that's putting it strongly.
953
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:23,125
Maybe it's just...
954
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,208
destiny that chose us.
955
00:44:25,708 --> 00:44:27,458
The "Maktub" as we say at home.
956
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,125
You are beautiful
when you're angry, you know.
957
00:44:31,125 --> 00:44:34,250
- [dramatic music playing]
- [sighs]
958
00:44:37,125 --> 00:44:38,125
[panting]
959
00:44:41,166 --> 00:44:42,208
[captain] Ah!
960
00:44:42,833 --> 00:44:44,125
[grunts]
961
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:47,125
Oh boy!
962
00:44:47,916 --> 00:44:49,125
[sighs]
963
00:44:50,166 --> 00:44:53,666
Gentlemen, here on the Red Sea,
we're done with bad encounters.
964
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:56,166
Who's the predator out here? Eh?
965
00:44:56,166 --> 00:44:57,916
- [all] We are!
- [captain] That's right!
966
00:44:57,916 --> 00:44:59,375
- [laughs]
- [crew member whistling]
967
00:44:59,375 --> 00:45:01,708
Ship ahoy!
968
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:03,916
Many thanks, lookout!
969
00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:05,541
- Doing my job!
- Lads,
970
00:45:05,541 --> 00:45:08,208
this lavish ship will not escape us.
971
00:45:08,208 --> 00:45:09,333
Tonight we sleep in silk.
972
00:45:09,333 --> 00:45:11,333
[cheering]
973
00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:12,625
[captain laughing]
974
00:45:20,125 --> 00:45:22,250
[stutters] It's the Gau... It's the Gau...
975
00:45:24,708 --> 00:45:29,041
- The Gauls are here?
- It's the Gauls!
976
00:45:29,041 --> 00:45:30,500
[lively music playing]
977
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:32,125
Yoo-hoo!
978
00:45:32,125 --> 00:45:34,208
Hello, little pirates!
979
00:45:34,916 --> 00:45:37,791
No, no, no, no...
980
00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:39,083
Not the Gauls!
981
00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:40,958
- [captain] Why's it always land on us?
- [cries]
982
00:45:40,958 --> 00:45:42,833
We're not the only ones on the water!
983
00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:44,333
[captain] Morning.
984
00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:46,166
Would you consider pretending
you never saw us?
985
00:45:46,166 --> 00:45:47,750
But we did see you, though.
986
00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:49,125
Can't argue with that.
987
00:45:49,125 --> 00:45:52,541
[sighs] Prepare our defences! Go, go, go!
988
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:59,250
[captain] To think I just had
the paint redone.
989
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,500
Go easy, will you?
990
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:03,500
[both chuckle]
991
00:46:05,416 --> 00:46:08,333
- It's not like I'm happy about it.
- Pff, whatever.
992
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:09,500
No, no, you wait!
993
00:46:10,458 --> 00:46:12,708
I'll show you how we rumble in my country.
994
00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:14,791
Hmm?
995
00:46:15,708 --> 00:46:17,333
[lively music playing]
996
00:46:30,333 --> 00:46:31,583
Uh, what should we do, Captain?
997
00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:34,208
- Well, uh...
- Got a bad feeling personally.
998
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,166
We're still doing this. Prepare to attack.
999
00:46:38,750 --> 00:46:41,208
No, stop that! No, back you go!
1000
00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:44,541
Michael, get back there.
Michael, no. Michael?
1001
00:46:44,541 --> 00:46:46,583
[grunting]
1002
00:46:55,458 --> 00:46:57,083
Ow, ow, ow!
1003
00:46:57,083 --> 00:46:58,625
Oh, that one's gotta really hurt.
1004
00:46:58,625 --> 00:47:01,041
[shouts]
1005
00:47:06,916 --> 00:47:08,208
She got how many feet?
1006
00:47:09,583 --> 00:47:11,750
Lads, let me through, please?
1007
00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:15,875
I'm really sorry, Captain.
1008
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:18,875
- Where you goin'?
- My heart will go on!
1009
00:47:18,875 --> 00:47:20,125
- [captain] No!
- [screams]
1010
00:47:20,125 --> 00:47:21,708
Look out behind you!
1011
00:47:22,791 --> 00:47:23,875
[captain] Oh no!
1012
00:47:26,125 --> 00:47:27,916
Hey, calm yourself down, you psycho!
1013
00:47:33,375 --> 00:47:35,291
[water gurgling]
1014
00:47:40,625 --> 00:47:44,958
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1015
00:47:46,125 --> 00:47:48,416
♪ Say it for always ♪
1016
00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:53,041
♪ That's the way it should be ♪
1017
00:47:55,583 --> 00:47:59,291
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1018
00:48:01,166 --> 00:48:02,708
♪ Say it together ♪
1019
00:48:05,083 --> 00:48:07,416
♪ Naturally ♪
1020
00:48:08,541 --> 00:48:12,000
[captain] Comrades,
the official version of the shipwreck is,
1021
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,833
we ran into a Chinese tornado. [sighs]
1022
00:48:14,833 --> 00:48:18,125
[melancholy music playing]
1023
00:48:24,125 --> 00:48:25,041
Uh, may I?
1024
00:48:25,708 --> 00:48:27,208
Yes.
1025
00:48:29,625 --> 00:48:31,958
[Obélix] Beautiful, isn't it?
1026
00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:34,500
I wanted to say,
1027
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,750
you fight really well.
1028
00:48:37,458 --> 00:48:38,625
Thank you.
1029
00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,958
And why is it that you never drink
any potion?
1030
00:48:41,958 --> 00:48:43,291
Well, I'm not allowed.
1031
00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:47,958
It might be dangerous. One does too many.
1032
00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:54,083
Must admit I would've loved
to feel that rush just one more time.
1033
00:48:54,083 --> 00:48:56,250
- [sighs]
- [soft music playing]
1034
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:15,000
[mysterious music playing]
1035
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,916
[fizzing, sizzling]
1036
00:49:16,916 --> 00:49:18,833
[wolf howling]
1037
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:22,250
[soft music playing]
1038
00:49:25,916 --> 00:49:28,291
[laughs]
1039
00:49:29,041 --> 00:49:30,125
[Obélix] Wow!
1040
00:49:34,791 --> 00:49:36,916
[sighs]
1041
00:49:37,916 --> 00:49:40,416
- [yells]
- [fizzing, sizzling]
1042
00:49:43,041 --> 00:49:43,875
Obélix?
1043
00:49:43,875 --> 00:49:45,375
[explosion booming]
1044
00:49:46,541 --> 00:49:47,916
Mama!
1045
00:49:52,958 --> 00:49:54,791
The feeling's extraordinary.
1046
00:49:54,791 --> 00:49:56,458
Like you're fizzy in the head,
1047
00:49:56,458 --> 00:49:59,541
then in your whole body. It's a bit like
when you fall in love, or so they say.
1048
00:49:59,541 --> 00:50:01,000
[clears throat]
1049
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:07,833
[soft music playing]
1050
00:50:10,333 --> 00:50:11,583
[laughs]
1051
00:50:20,083 --> 00:50:22,500
[military snare playing]
1052
00:50:25,666 --> 00:50:27,833
[narrator] Having at last found their way,
1053
00:50:28,666 --> 00:50:32,541
Caesar and his mighty legions
have crossed Persia,
1054
00:50:33,041 --> 00:50:36,291
the mountains of India,
the Mongolian steppes,
1055
00:50:36,291 --> 00:50:39,083
and have finally reached
the gates of China,
1056
00:50:39,083 --> 00:50:43,208
where the despicable Deng Tsin Qin
is honing his evil plan
1057
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,583
to control the Six Kingdoms.
1058
00:50:49,541 --> 00:50:51,625
[off-key horn playing]
1059
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,166
Hail, hail.
1060
00:50:53,750 --> 00:50:55,958
- So this here is the war?
- Prince Deng Tsin Qin,
1061
00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,958
allow me to introduce...
1062
00:50:57,958 --> 00:50:59,666
Julius Caesar. Himself.
1063
00:50:59,666 --> 00:51:01,666
I know you're impressed,
keep calm and breathe deeply.
1064
00:51:01,666 --> 00:51:04,666
Everything's gonna be fine.
So where are these rebels?
1065
00:51:04,666 --> 00:51:06,791
I'm told you're having a tough time
keeping them in line?
1066
00:51:06,791 --> 00:51:07,958
War isn't a hobby, you know.
1067
00:51:07,958 --> 00:51:10,583
You're well advised to bring in the pros.
1068
00:51:12,041 --> 00:51:13,750
Bit of a mess, this is, don't you think?
1069
00:51:13,750 --> 00:51:18,125
Oh no. We follow the precepts of Sun Tzu,
the great Chinese strategist.
1070
00:51:18,125 --> 00:51:19,791
He wrote the Art of War, you know.
1071
00:51:20,541 --> 00:51:21,708
Fart of war, more like.
1072
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:23,333
[Caesar and Biopix laugh]
1073
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,916
All right, kiddos, keep your eyes open,
1074
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,333
'cause this is gonna be over
in a heartbeat. Huh?
1075
00:51:27,958 --> 00:51:28,791
Here goes.
1076
00:51:28,791 --> 00:51:30,708
{\an8}- [in Latin] If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
1077
00:51:30,708 --> 00:51:33,041
{\an8}- [Caesar in English] Exactly.
- [scribe tapping]
1078
00:51:33,041 --> 00:51:35,416
- He's insufferable.
- He's deeply ill.
1079
00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:38,083
And pretentious, first decan cancers,
heads are up their butts.
1080
00:51:38,083 --> 00:51:39,208
Huh?
1081
00:51:39,208 --> 00:51:41,750
I'm disappointed.
I'm going to bed, I'm jet lagged.
1082
00:51:42,375 --> 00:51:43,208
[sighs]
1083
00:51:43,208 --> 00:51:46,125
[dramatic music playing]
1084
00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:47,333
- [Caesar] Biopix!
- Mm?
1085
00:51:47,333 --> 00:51:51,125
New chapter. After "Caesar The Seducer,"
1086
00:51:51,125 --> 00:51:52,541
"Caesar The Strategist."
1087
00:51:52,541 --> 00:51:55,666
Hold on, I change the scrolls
and I'm right with you.
1088
00:51:55,666 --> 00:51:56,916
- [Caesar] Helmet.
- Gallopus!
1089
00:51:56,916 --> 00:52:00,541
[hooves sounds]
1090
00:52:00,541 --> 00:52:02,250
[music builds]
1091
00:52:08,625 --> 00:52:09,541
Gladius.
1092
00:52:11,541 --> 00:52:12,666
[music stops]
1093
00:52:13,166 --> 00:52:14,000
The heck is this?
1094
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,375
- Last time, you did hurt yourself with--
- Right, I get it, I get it!
1095
00:52:17,875 --> 00:52:19,541
Has anyone heard from Antivirus?
1096
00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:21,791
He's here, and ready, mighty Caesar.
1097
00:52:21,791 --> 00:52:22,958
[Caesar] Let's do this.
1098
00:52:22,958 --> 00:52:26,833
[to the rhythm of "We Will Rock You"]
1099
00:52:28,041 --> 00:52:28,916
Everyone!
1100
00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:32,458
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1101
00:52:32,458 --> 00:52:33,708
Ooh, goosebumps.
1102
00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:35,000
And me.
1103
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,250
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1104
00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:40,083
[battle cries]
1105
00:52:40,083 --> 00:52:43,125
["Anti, Antivirus"
to the rhythm of "We Will Rock You"]
1106
00:53:01,333 --> 00:53:02,916
[grunts]
1107
00:53:08,416 --> 00:53:10,041
[clanging]
1108
00:53:18,583 --> 00:53:19,916
[battle cries]
1109
00:53:26,916 --> 00:53:28,583
{\an8}CHINA SEA
1110
00:53:40,833 --> 00:53:41,916
[groans]
1111
00:53:41,916 --> 00:53:44,291
[shouts]
1112
00:53:44,791 --> 00:53:48,500
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1113
00:53:50,541 --> 00:53:54,458
[all] ♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1114
00:53:54,458 --> 00:53:55,833
Antivirus, I love you!
1115
00:53:56,458 --> 00:54:00,416
♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1116
00:54:00,958 --> 00:54:01,833
[screams]
1117
00:54:02,416 --> 00:54:07,000
♪ Anti, Antivirus! ♪
1118
00:54:07,625 --> 00:54:08,916
[moans]
1119
00:54:08,916 --> 00:54:12,083
Antivirus, you wanna go viral,
1120
00:54:12,083 --> 00:54:13,958
but don't push it,
that was hard on my back.
1121
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,041
You wanted Antivirus,
1122
00:54:16,041 --> 00:54:17,916
I gave you Antivirus.
1123
00:54:17,916 --> 00:54:21,583
And now, go back to your circus games.
1124
00:54:21,583 --> 00:54:23,333
[cheering]
1125
00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:25,833
Why speak words, when you can fly?
1126
00:54:26,458 --> 00:54:28,625
[mystical music playing]
1127
00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:30,666
[cheering]
1128
00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:51,958
[Caesar] A walk in the park!
1129
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:57,875
In a matter of days,
I shall be the master of China.
1130
00:54:58,708 --> 00:55:01,833
I'm almost envious of you guys,
experiencing for the first time
1131
00:55:01,833 --> 00:55:03,375
the power of Rome.
1132
00:55:03,375 --> 00:55:05,666
Veni, vidi, vici.
1133
00:55:05,666 --> 00:55:08,958
- [Caesar laughs]
- This is such great stuff, Caesar!
1134
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:10,958
I write it down as is, no changes.
1135
00:55:10,958 --> 00:55:13,625
- Seating sucks. We gonna eat like this?
- Yeah.
1136
00:55:13,625 --> 00:55:15,208
- Terrible hosts.
- Right.
1137
00:55:15,208 --> 00:55:16,500
[grunts]
1138
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,291
And Antivirus? He's not coming?
1139
00:55:18,291 --> 00:55:19,666
He's asleep.
1140
00:55:19,666 --> 00:55:21,833
- What do you mean, he's asleep?
- I'm here, oh Caesar.
1141
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,208
- Not as impressive.
- Nowhere as impressive.
1142
00:55:24,208 --> 00:55:28,750
Oh Caesar,
you have one last kingdom to conquer.
1143
00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:31,125
Likely more complicated.
1144
00:55:31,125 --> 00:55:32,875
Our victories have had an impact.
1145
00:55:32,875 --> 00:55:34,666
The Ku Koos are tough negotiators.
1146
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:36,083
Very well.
1147
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,916
We'll see who is the Ku Kooest.
1148
00:55:37,916 --> 00:55:39,541
[laughter]
1149
00:55:39,541 --> 00:55:42,625
Yeah, well, sorry not to join the fun,
but old man So Ku Koo died last winter.
1150
00:55:43,250 --> 00:55:46,166
Leaving his only son and heir,
Prince Ku Koo, twenty years old
1151
00:55:46,166 --> 00:55:49,083
concealed under a bamboo mask
due to a horrible birth defect.
1152
00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:51,333
- The Ku Koo Behind the Bamboo.
- [dramatic music playing]
1153
00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:52,250
So he gets orphaned,
1154
00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:55,583
gets his butt handed to him by Caesar,
not a good year for the Ku Koos.
1155
00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:57,458
- [laughter]
- [Caesar] Come to think of it...
1156
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,083
you seem Ku Koo yourself, don't you?
1157
00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:04,083
No, I'm a Deng. Of the Deng-Bhat clan.
1158
00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:05,375
Yes, but...
1159
00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:09,583
you could be Deng' erous, couldn't you?
1160
00:56:10,166 --> 00:56:11,833
- Huh?
- [hand clatters]
1161
00:56:14,166 --> 00:56:15,875
[tense music playing]
1162
00:56:15,875 --> 00:56:18,875
I never really picked up on
why you would ask me to help
1163
00:56:18,875 --> 00:56:20,708
evict you from your own kingdom,
1164
00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:22,875
so what's in it for you...
1165
00:56:22,875 --> 00:56:25,000
Deng Tsin Qin?
1166
00:56:26,166 --> 00:56:28,416
You wouldn't be thinking
about a Caesarian section,
1167
00:56:28,416 --> 00:56:30,458
to cut me out of my end of the spoils?
1168
00:56:30,458 --> 00:56:33,583
Not at all. Never even crossed my mind.
1169
00:56:34,208 --> 00:56:35,166
Really?
1170
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:39,666
It would've crossed mine. [laughs]
Wouldn't bother me in the least!
1171
00:56:39,666 --> 00:56:42,125
- [laughter]
- He's on a roll.
1172
00:56:42,125 --> 00:56:44,166
[Caesar sighs]
1173
00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:46,541
- Tell me, oh Caesar.
- Mm-hmm.
1174
00:56:46,541 --> 00:56:47,500
Are you aware that
1175
00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:50,291
the great Cleopatra
is highly respected here in China?
1176
00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:52,000
[Scar Dee Kat] True.
1177
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,375
She's done so much for the defence
and preservation of pandas that now...
1178
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,125
So how is she in real life?
Fun to be with?
1179
00:57:04,375 --> 00:57:06,000
[soft music playing]
1180
00:57:13,250 --> 00:57:15,000
At last, I'm back home.
1181
00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:18,958
Do you smell the fragrance of bamboo,
ginger and eucalypt?
1182
00:57:20,500 --> 00:57:22,541
Don't bother with these guys,
they wouldn't know.
1183
00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:26,458
But I can smell it just fine,
and... so aromatic!
1184
00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:28,000
[Bankruptis] Titanix!
1185
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,166
Will you be going straight back to Egypt?
1186
00:57:30,166 --> 00:57:33,000
Nope. I'll keep sailing
till I return to my starting point,
1187
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,625
so I can prove the Earth is round.
1188
00:57:34,625 --> 00:57:37,083
[laughter]
1189
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:46,875
- [mysterious music playing]
- [chattering]
1190
00:58:03,791 --> 00:58:05,166
[Bankruptis] So?
1191
00:58:05,166 --> 00:58:07,791
- Told you we'd make it back, didn't I?
- Shh.
1192
00:58:08,791 --> 00:58:11,166
WANTED
1193
00:58:12,708 --> 00:58:15,541
Ka Ra Tay,
how will we hope to find your master here?
1194
00:58:15,541 --> 00:58:17,416
He'll be the one to find us.
1195
00:58:35,083 --> 00:58:37,083
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
1196
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:39,708
Friend of yours? The bald guy?
1197
00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:43,208
Well, if it's nothing
why can't you tell me what it is?
1198
00:58:45,041 --> 00:58:48,833
My master, Sill Lee, awaits us tonight
in an inn where we will spend the night.
1199
00:58:48,833 --> 00:58:52,291
There you go. Just say it,
instead of acting all mysterious.
1200
00:58:52,291 --> 00:58:53,666
I'm not even hungry anymore!
1201
00:58:54,291 --> 00:58:55,458
[whines]
1202
00:58:55,458 --> 00:58:56,625
[Astérix] What the...
1203
00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:58,583
Never seen him like that.
1204
00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:01,541
He's probably just tired, that's all.
1205
00:59:01,541 --> 00:59:03,666
There's a culture shock,
it's a lot to take in.
1206
00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:06,083
- Do you mind if I speak candidly?
- Mm.
1207
00:59:06,083 --> 00:59:09,750
You and me, we're not the best of friends.
I hate you, I believe you hate me too.
1208
00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:10,958
Mm-hmm.
1209
00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:13,500
But the two of you,
things are getting very tense.
1210
00:59:13,500 --> 00:59:15,791
The tension's spreading
through the whole group.
1211
00:59:15,791 --> 00:59:17,333
- That bad?
- Yeah.
1212
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:19,500
But I got something for both of you
1213
00:59:19,500 --> 00:59:24,000
and I'm sure it can bring some changes,
for the better.
1214
00:59:26,291 --> 00:59:28,333
[Astérix] Obélix. We need to talk.
1215
00:59:28,833 --> 00:59:29,875
[Obélix] I'm listening.
1216
00:59:29,875 --> 00:59:33,791
There's a beautiful story
starting between the Princess and me.
1217
00:59:33,791 --> 00:59:35,000
Oh?
1218
00:59:35,791 --> 00:59:36,708
Well, yeah.
1219
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:40,916
And I believe it'd be simpler if, like...
1220
00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:43,500
if she were to live with us,
in the village.
1221
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:44,625
Okay.
1222
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:48,916
Of course, you and I have been housemates
for a long time.
1223
00:59:49,416 --> 00:59:52,125
Uh, but we never said it'd be forever.
1224
00:59:53,125 --> 00:59:54,708
And as it happens,
1225
00:59:54,708 --> 00:59:56,791
the hut belonged to my parents.
1226
00:59:57,291 --> 00:59:58,375
So, uh...
1227
01:00:00,750 --> 01:00:02,541
You want me to move out then?
1228
01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:05,041
- Yes.
- [sighs]
1229
01:00:07,250 --> 01:00:10,083
Oh, Astérix!
I can't tell you how relieved I am.
1230
01:00:10,083 --> 01:00:14,000
I wanted to leave too, but I didn't know
how to tell you, I just couldn't tell you.
1231
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:14,916
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
1232
01:00:17,458 --> 01:00:18,958
I've fallen in love too.
1233
01:00:20,541 --> 01:00:21,875
You're in love?
1234
01:00:21,875 --> 01:00:24,083
[whispering] With the beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
1235
01:00:24,083 --> 01:00:25,541
[laughs]
1236
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,125
With Ka Ra Tay?
1237
01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:31,666
Our Ka Ra Tay? You gotta be joking?
1238
01:00:32,416 --> 01:00:33,666
Obélix? Ka Ra Tay?
1239
01:00:33,666 --> 01:00:35,791
- [laughing]
- Why are you laughing?
1240
01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:39,208
- Because I'm surprised.
- You're surprised 'cause I'm in love?
1241
01:00:39,958 --> 01:00:41,083
Come on, Oby...
1242
01:00:41,083 --> 01:00:43,708
Don't Oby me. There's no more Oby!
1243
01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:46,166
What's so funny?
1244
01:00:46,166 --> 01:00:49,625
I'm not allowed to fall in love?
I'm not allowed anything!
1245
01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,541
What a joke! It's all about you anyway!
1246
01:00:51,541 --> 01:00:53,500
- It is not all about me!
- It is about you!
1247
01:00:53,500 --> 01:00:55,041
- No!
- [barking]
1248
01:00:55,041 --> 01:00:58,000
Obélix can't have any magic potion.
Obélix better not fall in love...
1249
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,291
Oh, poor Obélix,
who's been deprived of magic potion.
1250
01:01:01,291 --> 01:01:02,833
Oh, poor Obélix!
1251
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:07,625
I don't even get the privilege of roasting
my wild boars in my own fireplace!
1252
01:01:07,625 --> 01:01:11,000
Except it's not my own fireplace
'cause Astérix's parents built it!
1253
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:14,000
- Which they did.
- Astérix wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1254
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,625
And why do I want us to eat fruits
and vegetables?
1255
01:01:16,625 --> 01:01:18,958
For you! For you to eat better.
1256
01:01:18,958 --> 01:01:21,125
Do not say the word. Don't say that word!
1257
01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:23,375
- Because you are so fat!
- No!
1258
01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:27,458
I am simply voluptuous!
1259
01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:30,833
But there is more. I'm strong.
1260
01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:33,041
There we are! You said it!
1261
01:01:33,041 --> 01:01:36,166
You think it's easy for me
to be so feeble?
1262
01:01:36,166 --> 01:01:37,583
To rely on a flask all the time?
1263
01:01:37,583 --> 01:01:39,250
Serves you right! There!
1264
01:01:39,250 --> 01:01:40,625
I've said it. Done.
1265
01:01:40,625 --> 01:01:41,958
[clinking]
1266
01:01:42,625 --> 01:01:46,541
Needles performing so well,
releasing tension!
1267
01:01:46,541 --> 01:01:49,250
They make words come out, good!
1268
01:01:49,250 --> 01:01:50,375
[laughs]
1269
01:01:52,416 --> 01:01:54,458
[indistinct chatter]
1270
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,833
- Oh, Romans!
- No, Obélix.
1271
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,125
[sighs] What now?
1272
01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:06,625
We cannot compromise the Princess.
1273
01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:08,958
[Astérix] What's Caesar doing in China?
1274
01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:12,083
Deng Tsin Qin the treacherous
sold us to the Romans.
1275
01:02:14,416 --> 01:02:16,291
[mercenary] Informative news break!
1276
01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:18,250
People of China!
1277
01:02:18,250 --> 01:02:20,875
Prince Deng Tsin Qin and Julius Caesar
1278
01:02:20,875 --> 01:02:23,416
are delighted to announce
that the former Empress
1279
01:02:23,416 --> 01:02:24,708
will be publicly executed.
1280
01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:25,791
[ominous music playing]
1281
01:02:25,791 --> 01:02:29,541
The decapitation is scheduled
seven days from now at dusk.
1282
01:02:30,416 --> 01:02:32,083
An all-you-can-eat wok will follow.
1283
01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:34,375
Due to limited seating,
advance booking is advised.
1284
01:02:34,375 --> 01:02:35,416
I wasn't briefed, were you?
1285
01:02:35,416 --> 01:02:36,625
- You missed the memo?
- Must've.
1286
01:02:36,625 --> 01:02:39,333
- You're not on the forum?
- I'm never included, Carlitus.
1287
01:02:39,333 --> 01:02:43,708
I am Princess Sa See!
No one touches the heir to the Heavens,
1288
01:02:43,708 --> 01:02:46,125
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1289
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:48,250
- After them!
- [panicked cries]
1290
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:55,416
Good doggie.
1291
01:02:56,041 --> 01:02:56,875
Let's get to it.
1292
01:02:56,875 --> 01:03:00,458
Whoever touches
a hair of my beloved fiancée,
1293
01:03:00,458 --> 01:03:02,708
I will treat very badly.
1294
01:03:04,083 --> 01:03:05,291
Did I really just say that?
1295
01:03:06,166 --> 01:03:07,500
[swords being drawn]
1296
01:03:12,166 --> 01:03:14,416
Ah, hold on. Time out. Just a second.
1297
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:17,208
I'll be right back. Just give me a second.
1298
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,833
[sighs] Getting painful.
1299
01:03:19,833 --> 01:03:22,583
- [mysterious music playing]
- [animal sounds]
1300
01:03:26,291 --> 01:03:27,125
Sorry.
1301
01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:29,458
- Can we get on with it now?
- Yeah, just went to the toilet.
1302
01:03:29,458 --> 01:03:31,666
- Yeah, right.
- We know what you were doing. Yeah.
1303
01:03:31,666 --> 01:03:33,458
[tense music playing]
1304
01:03:39,208 --> 01:03:40,833
[battle cries]
1305
01:03:43,291 --> 01:03:44,166
[Obélix] Romie!
1306
01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:46,750
[crashing]
1307
01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:48,333
[battle cries]
1308
01:04:01,875 --> 01:04:02,916
And wring!
1309
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,791
[epic music playing]
1310
01:04:15,041 --> 01:04:17,125
[tense music playing]
1311
01:04:17,125 --> 01:04:18,625
[grunts]
1312
01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:27,291
Now that's strange.
1313
01:04:28,541 --> 01:04:30,416
- [battle cries]
- ["Kung Fu Fighting" playing]
1314
01:04:30,416 --> 01:04:31,916
[screams]
1315
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:35,666
And my acupuncturist told me
to take it easy for two days.
1316
01:04:35,666 --> 01:04:37,125
Considering what they pay us...
1317
01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:41,375
- Can we pretend we didn't see each other?
- Mum's the word.
1318
01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:47,166
♪ There were funky China men
From funky Chinatown ♪
1319
01:04:47,166 --> 01:04:48,708
[shouts]
1320
01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:52,291
♪ They were chopping them up
They were chopping them down ♪
1321
01:04:53,291 --> 01:04:55,666
♪ It's an ancient Chinese art ♪
1322
01:04:55,666 --> 01:04:57,500
♪ And everybody knew their part ♪
1323
01:04:57,500 --> 01:04:59,750
♪ From a feint into a slip ♪
1324
01:05:00,291 --> 01:05:02,333
♪ And a kicking from the hip ♪
1325
01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:05,083
♪ Everybody was kung fu fighting ♪
1326
01:05:07,041 --> 01:05:09,500
♪ Those cats were fast as lightning ♪
1327
01:05:11,625 --> 01:05:14,458
♪ In fact
It was a little bit frightening ♪
1328
01:05:16,666 --> 01:05:19,333
♪ But they fought with expert timing ♪
1329
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:25,666
♪ There was funky Billy Chin
And little Sammy Chung ♪
1330
01:05:25,666 --> 01:05:27,625
[music stops]
1331
01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:29,583
[whistling]
1332
01:05:32,791 --> 01:05:35,875
[shouting]
1333
01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:38,916
Hey, see how far I flung that one?
1334
01:05:38,916 --> 01:05:42,125
That was so cool! What can I say?
You're the best, Obélix.
1335
01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,250
- Oh!
- [Bankruptis] What's that?
1336
01:05:44,250 --> 01:05:47,583
[both] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
1337
01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:50,333
- We're so tight, aren't we!
- Let's go, it's not safe to stick around.
1338
01:05:50,333 --> 01:05:53,791
[mocking] Let's go Princess,
it's not safe to stick around. Pff.
1339
01:05:54,375 --> 01:05:55,416
- Something wrong?
- Mm.
1340
01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:58,541
You tell me. You still feeling the potion?
1341
01:05:58,541 --> 01:06:00,666
Dunno, wanna find out, do you?
1342
01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:04,916
- We'll see about that later.
- Sure, anytime.
1343
01:06:05,500 --> 01:06:08,125
- Boo!
- Eh!
1344
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,333
[military music playing]
1345
01:06:23,916 --> 01:06:25,000
Halt!
1346
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,708
[repetitive grunting]
1347
01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:31,625
THE ORIGINAL 2CV HORSEPOWER
1348
01:06:35,666 --> 01:06:38,625
SOAPS BY CLEO
1349
01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:41,000
[cat calling]
1350
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,875
Who dares to whistle?
1351
01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:44,791
[tense music playing]
1352
01:06:44,791 --> 01:06:46,375
[whispering] Hard to swallow.
1353
01:06:49,708 --> 01:06:52,166
[military music playing]
1354
01:06:53,958 --> 01:06:54,958
[Caesar] I go off to war,
1355
01:06:55,791 --> 01:06:57,875
risk my life, nothing from her.
1356
01:06:58,458 --> 01:07:01,875
No messenger, no news,
no papyrus-card, not even a pigeon.
1357
01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:03,958
Ah, you need to get a hold of yourself.
1358
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,875
You were being so strong,
bristling with rage,
1359
01:07:06,875 --> 01:07:08,208
but now I see nothing.
1360
01:07:08,208 --> 01:07:09,250
[Risklus] He's right.
1361
01:07:09,250 --> 01:07:10,875
Did you send her a message?
1362
01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:12,833
No! We said, enough of the messages.
1363
01:07:12,833 --> 01:07:14,875
We're stone-wall marble,
we give her nothing.
1364
01:07:14,875 --> 01:07:16,791
We let her soak in her marinade,
like octopus.
1365
01:07:16,791 --> 01:07:18,916
Hey, Dainty, better tone it down.
1366
01:07:18,916 --> 01:07:20,875
What's that you say, Señor Grunt?
1367
01:07:20,875 --> 01:07:24,291
Infamous Risklus, how about
"Witless," with a head like an aqueduct?
1368
01:07:24,291 --> 01:07:27,416
You think you're Antivirus, don't you?
You couldn't even shine his sandals.
1369
01:07:27,416 --> 01:07:29,166
Así que callate la boca!
1370
01:07:31,666 --> 01:07:32,791
[Biopix] Caesar.
1371
01:07:32,791 --> 01:07:35,833
Tell me who wears the toga in the palace.
Eh? Who's the boss?
1372
01:07:36,458 --> 01:07:38,416
- I am.
- Anyone hear that?
1373
01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:41,166
Who's the boss at home?
1374
01:07:41,166 --> 01:07:43,041
[sighs] I'm the boss.
1375
01:07:43,041 --> 01:07:44,000
There you are.
1376
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,583
Now you're talking. That is our Caesar.
That's our champion. Numero uno!
1377
01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:50,208
So if there's a message you gotta send,
1378
01:07:50,208 --> 01:07:52,291
just tell her to pack
her bags and all that,
1379
01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:56,208
and take herself right back to Egypt,
show her profile or whatever, she is out.
1380
01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,458
Fair enough. Write.
1381
01:08:01,458 --> 01:08:03,541
- Ah!
- [soft music playing]
1382
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,125
[sighs]
1383
01:08:10,291 --> 01:08:12,791
"Cleo..." No. "Cleopatra."
1384
01:08:12,791 --> 01:08:14,250
I like that.
1385
01:08:14,250 --> 01:08:15,416
"When I get to Rome,
1386
01:08:15,416 --> 01:08:18,708
I want to find my palace free
of your sarcophago-whatchamacallit."
1387
01:08:18,708 --> 01:08:21,875
"Starting from today,
you'll know who wears the toga at home."
1388
01:08:21,875 --> 01:08:22,875
[Biopix] There you go.
1389
01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:24,208
"You've been told. Hail me."
1390
01:08:24,208 --> 01:08:25,625
[Biopix] That's better.
1391
01:08:25,625 --> 01:08:28,500
That's my sizzling Caesar,
that was masterly.
1392
01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:30,250
Ah! Queen of Egypt.
1393
01:08:30,250 --> 01:08:33,000
- Queen of Doofus-land.
- [lively music playing]
1394
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,125
[laughs] ♪ And where did they go... ♪
1395
01:08:35,125 --> 01:08:38,000
♪ Where did they go, down to Egypt land ♪
1396
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,833
- Hit Send.
- Sí.
1397
01:08:41,583 --> 01:08:43,666
[cooing]
1398
01:08:43,666 --> 01:08:45,041
Pigeon... Pidgie-widgie...
1399
01:08:46,625 --> 01:08:48,791
Oh! [laughs]
1400
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:52,041
[in Galician] A bunny!
1401
01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:53,500
[in English] Oh, there's a big one.
1402
01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,125
[in Galician] A raccoon.
1403
01:08:55,750 --> 01:08:57,208
- [comical music playing]
- [bleating]
1404
01:08:57,208 --> 01:08:58,750
[laughs]
1405
01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:01,791
A goat! [cooing]
1406
01:09:01,791 --> 01:09:04,416
[cooing]
1407
01:09:07,916 --> 01:09:09,958
Come on, sweetie.
1408
01:09:09,958 --> 01:09:11,208
[swooshing]
1409
01:09:13,666 --> 01:09:15,458
[notification chimes]
1410
01:09:16,166 --> 01:09:18,333
[cooing, vibrating]
1411
01:09:18,333 --> 01:09:19,833
[in English] Huh, it's Cleopatra.
1412
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:22,041
- Already?
- [pigeon coos and vibrates]
1413
01:09:22,541 --> 01:09:24,083
- Well, get to it!
- Huh?
1414
01:09:31,666 --> 01:09:33,583
[mumbles]
1415
01:09:34,958 --> 01:09:36,208
[Caesar] I don't understand.
1416
01:09:36,208 --> 01:09:37,500
- Eh?
- What did she say?
1417
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:38,541
Uh...
1418
01:09:39,791 --> 01:09:43,583
"I would like to apologise
for the attitude I had."
1419
01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:44,958
"I went too far."
1420
01:09:44,958 --> 01:09:47,083
You can say that again. Uh...
1421
01:09:47,083 --> 01:09:51,833
"Four long months have passed,
and all I dream of is to see your face."
1422
01:09:51,833 --> 01:09:54,416
"I'm waiting in Rome.
Come back as soon as you can."
1423
01:09:55,333 --> 01:09:56,541
"Your loving Cleo-babe."
1424
01:09:57,916 --> 01:09:59,625
Hey. You gotta stop that pigeon.
The pigeon!
1425
01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:02,958
- [Caesar] Cancel the pigeon. Quick!
- There's no cancelling a homing pigeon.
1426
01:10:02,958 --> 01:10:06,000
Once you sent it, it's sent.
Should I slug him?
1427
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,458
Everybody out!
1428
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,750
I said everybody.
1429
01:10:14,875 --> 01:10:17,666
- ["Le Diro Parole Blu" playing]
- [gasps]
1430
01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:27,291
[cooing]
1431
01:10:55,708 --> 01:10:57,958
[Cleopatra laughs]
1432
01:11:13,583 --> 01:11:15,125
[pigeon farts]
1433
01:11:15,875 --> 01:11:17,250
[grunts]
1434
01:11:18,500 --> 01:11:19,791
[sobs]
1435
01:11:19,791 --> 01:11:21,041
Cleo...
1436
01:11:26,625 --> 01:11:27,875
[door creaking]
1437
01:11:30,833 --> 01:11:33,250
Hey! Anyone peckish? They left some fruit.
1438
01:11:33,250 --> 01:11:34,500
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
1439
01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:36,041
Those are offerings.
1440
01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:38,208
- Oh, pardon me. Wasn't aware.
- [knock on door]
1441
01:11:39,833 --> 01:11:41,916
- Shh.
- [tense music playing]
1442
01:11:45,916 --> 01:11:48,916
I got this. Sir, you shouldn't stay here.
Here you go, good night,
1443
01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:50,791
and good luck.
1444
01:11:51,375 --> 01:11:53,041
Never mind, just a beggar.
1445
01:11:54,458 --> 01:11:57,250
[mystical music playing]
1446
01:11:57,250 --> 01:11:58,375
Master Sill Lee.
1447
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:00,916
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1448
01:12:01,416 --> 01:12:02,791
Whoa, I am so terribly sorry,
1449
01:12:02,791 --> 01:12:04,541
Mr. Master, I thought...
1450
01:12:04,541 --> 01:12:08,333
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devoted his life to meditation.
1451
01:12:08,333 --> 01:12:10,125
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1452
01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:13,458
Oh wow, bravo for your sacrifice,
it's mind-blowing.
1453
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:16,500
If it was me, I would cave on day one.
So, could you...
1454
01:12:16,500 --> 01:12:18,416
If you'd be so kind,
I'll just get my coin.
1455
01:12:18,416 --> 01:12:21,416
Try to take the coin back out of my hand,
1456
01:12:21,416 --> 01:12:22,916
my little grasshopper.
1457
01:12:25,416 --> 01:12:27,208
[Bankruptis] Well, um...
1458
01:12:27,208 --> 01:12:29,166
That's far too easy,
seeing as you can't see.
1459
01:12:29,166 --> 01:12:33,375
Never assume that a man
is blind because of his lack of--
1460
01:12:34,291 --> 01:12:36,000
- [gasps]
- Didn't see that one coming, did you?
1461
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:37,416
[laughs]
1462
01:12:38,041 --> 01:12:39,250
Voilà!
1463
01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:41,875
- It's him, he made me do it.
- Let him be!
1464
01:12:42,416 --> 01:12:44,208
Little grasshopper.
1465
01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:45,750
No, sir, I'm right here, just...
1466
01:12:46,291 --> 01:12:48,708
You are swift as the cobra.
1467
01:12:48,708 --> 01:12:49,791
Yeah, that's me.
1468
01:12:49,791 --> 01:12:52,375
Could we please move on
to more important things?
1469
01:12:53,041 --> 01:12:55,291
[mysterious music playing]
1470
01:12:58,375 --> 01:13:00,208
- [laughter]
- Oh, by Toutatis.
1471
01:13:00,208 --> 01:13:04,000
[Sill Lee] Deng Tsin Qin is spreading
terror throughout the country.
1472
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:05,958
- [sizzling]
- [Sill Lee] Do not touch.
1473
01:13:05,958 --> 01:13:07,958
Ah. Hard to resist.
1474
01:13:08,583 --> 01:13:11,750
I spy an abandoned temple in the forest.
1475
01:13:12,458 --> 01:13:14,083
[Sill Lee] The Xuan temple.
1476
01:13:14,083 --> 01:13:18,875
Her Majesty the Empress
is held prisoner there.
1477
01:13:19,583 --> 01:13:24,125
After she is released, you will have
to hightail it as fast as you can
1478
01:13:24,125 --> 01:13:26,000
to the Ku Koo palace
1479
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:30,208
before Caesar is able
to take possession of the last kingdom.
1480
01:13:30,750 --> 01:13:33,125
You are going to encounter
1481
01:13:33,625 --> 01:13:36,583
the hideous, the unsightly,
1482
01:13:36,583 --> 01:13:40,708
the monstrous crown Prince Ku Koo.
1483
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:45,416
You will meet him, he's masked in bamboo.
1484
01:13:45,416 --> 01:13:46,333
[barks]
1485
01:13:46,333 --> 01:13:47,291
[mumbles]
1486
01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:49,166
Hey, buddy, it's not for real.
1487
01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:51,250
Good luck.
1488
01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:54,083
This is where our paths must part.
1489
01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:58,166
Grand Master,
uh, are you finished with the magic ball?
1490
01:13:59,958 --> 01:14:01,083
Yes.
1491
01:14:01,083 --> 01:14:02,916
[sizzling]
1492
01:14:02,916 --> 01:14:03,916
No!
1493
01:14:03,916 --> 01:14:04,875
[explosion booming]
1494
01:14:04,875 --> 01:14:06,458
[Bankruptis] Holy cow!
1495
01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:11,083
Are you happy now? You broke it.
1496
01:14:11,083 --> 01:14:12,833
[Astérix] He told you not to touch.
1497
01:14:12,833 --> 01:14:14,000
[door opens]
1498
01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:15,916
That is true.
1499
01:14:15,916 --> 01:14:19,375
- Hey!
- I told you keep your hands to yourselves!
1500
01:14:21,125 --> 01:14:22,833
[explosion booming]
1501
01:14:24,625 --> 01:14:26,666
- Why'd you touch the magic ball?
- Hmm.
1502
01:14:26,666 --> 01:14:29,166
[mysterious music playing]
1503
01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:34,166
[soldier] Have you seen Princess Sa See?
She's with two warriors and...
1504
01:14:34,166 --> 01:14:37,708
- [armour clattering]
- [laughter]
1505
01:14:38,416 --> 01:14:39,791
Princess Sa See.
1506
01:14:39,791 --> 01:14:43,125
Seen her? With two foreign warriors
with superhuman strength.
1507
01:14:43,791 --> 01:14:44,625
And a little pooch.
1508
01:14:44,625 --> 01:14:45,750
[barking]
1509
01:14:57,916 --> 01:14:59,916
I don't know what's going on. [yelps]
1510
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:03,208
[centurion] What are you waiting for?
Room service? Get them!
1511
01:15:03,208 --> 01:15:05,458
- [Obélix] Astérix!
- What? Just run!
1512
01:15:05,458 --> 01:15:06,791
- Astérix!
- What?
1513
01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:08,750
- Why are we running?
- Why are we running?
1514
01:15:08,750 --> 01:15:10,583
- Because I don't wanna fight.
- But, why not?
1515
01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:12,708
I don't want to take the potion
in front of the Princess.
1516
01:15:12,708 --> 01:15:14,250
I'm sick of using a crutch!
1517
01:15:14,250 --> 01:15:15,250
Pfff!
1518
01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:17,291
Let's go, boys!
Move it, I borrowed a rickshaw.
1519
01:15:17,291 --> 01:15:18,458
Come on!
1520
01:15:20,166 --> 01:15:21,166
Speed it up!
1521
01:15:21,833 --> 01:15:24,208
- [Astérix] Will you hurry!
- Alright! I know!
1522
01:15:24,208 --> 01:15:25,875
- [Dogmatix whines]
- [sighs]
1523
01:15:26,416 --> 01:15:27,541
Princess...
1524
01:15:27,541 --> 01:15:28,875
Dawdling on purpose.
1525
01:15:28,875 --> 01:15:30,416
[inhales deeply]
1526
01:15:56,125 --> 01:15:59,166
[Dogmatix whines]
1527
01:15:59,166 --> 01:16:01,125
[mysterious music playing]
1528
01:16:10,083 --> 01:16:11,125
Ka Ra Tay.
1529
01:16:13,166 --> 01:16:14,041
Oh...
1530
01:16:21,083 --> 01:16:23,458
- Yeah.
- Can't argue with that.
1531
01:16:27,166 --> 01:16:28,083
[Ekonomikrisis] So...
1532
01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:31,583
In one more ball,
I officially consider us to be dead meat.
1533
01:16:32,541 --> 01:16:34,416
Which means that it's our last night...
1534
01:16:34,416 --> 01:16:36,333
and I was thinking that, uh,
1535
01:16:36,333 --> 01:16:38,541
perhaps... maybe as a memento...
1536
01:16:38,541 --> 01:16:40,625
- Your Majesty!
- Ah! Oh! Whoa!
1537
01:16:41,375 --> 01:16:42,291
She freaked me out.
1538
01:16:42,291 --> 01:16:44,458
Your Majesty,
we're going to get you out of here.
1539
01:16:44,458 --> 01:16:45,708
Who is she?
1540
01:16:47,083 --> 01:16:48,500
- Stand back!
- Okay, stand back.
1541
01:16:50,666 --> 01:16:51,541
[Obélix] Ka Ra Tay!
1542
01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,916
[Astérix] Are you done?
1543
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,375
Forgive me.
1544
01:17:11,291 --> 01:17:12,791
[rumbling]
1545
01:17:15,875 --> 01:17:18,208
[dramatic music playing]
1546
01:17:22,208 --> 01:17:23,083
You may rise.
1547
01:17:24,791 --> 01:17:25,666
We must go.
1548
01:17:25,666 --> 01:17:27,166
Jump. They'll catch you at the bottom.
1549
01:17:27,166 --> 01:17:30,250
What? Jump? Are you bonkers?
No way am I leaving now.
1550
01:17:30,250 --> 01:17:32,958
You want me to quit a negotiation?
I've never done that in my life.
1551
01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:35,583
I'm about two balls away
from breaking the guy.
1552
01:17:35,583 --> 01:17:38,041
So you go on without me,
I'll just, uh, join you later.
1553
01:17:38,625 --> 01:17:39,916
Are you sure?
1554
01:17:40,500 --> 01:17:41,916
- Yeah.
- Very well.
1555
01:17:41,916 --> 01:17:43,458
As you wish.
1556
01:17:46,958 --> 01:17:48,291
Take care of yourself.
1557
01:17:48,875 --> 01:17:50,041
And don't lose your head.
1558
01:17:50,041 --> 01:17:53,750
Ah! Look who's worried about me now!
1559
01:17:55,083 --> 01:17:56,166
You know what?
1560
01:17:56,791 --> 01:17:58,958
You're even more beautiful
when you smile than when you're upset.
1561
01:18:06,125 --> 01:18:08,500
Whoa, she's impressive, yeah.
1562
01:18:09,291 --> 01:18:10,291
- [grunts]
- Thank you.
1563
01:18:12,583 --> 01:18:13,958
Mother.
1564
01:18:13,958 --> 01:18:16,083
What joy to see you.
1565
01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:21,583
- Wow.
- I'm right...
1566
01:18:22,125 --> 01:18:23,125
here.
1567
01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:28,666
- [guard] Alert! Prisoners have escaped!
- Quick, let's go!
1568
01:18:28,666 --> 01:18:30,750
[arrows whistling]
1569
01:18:32,750 --> 01:18:34,708
[heavy breathing]
1570
01:18:39,625 --> 01:18:41,083
[Bankruptis] Where do I go?
1571
01:18:41,083 --> 01:18:42,583
[Astérix] Shh!
1572
01:18:42,583 --> 01:18:43,708
Wait a sec.
1573
01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:49,041
- We lost them. I think we're safe.
- Gaulish friends, thank you for your help.
1574
01:18:49,041 --> 01:18:51,708
- It's our pleasure, Your Majesty.
- Majesty. [clears throat]
1575
01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:54,083
Okay, I guess I'll just do this myself.
1576
01:18:55,583 --> 01:18:57,041
Bankruptis.
1577
01:18:57,041 --> 01:19:00,166
You may remember
that we met at the market.
1578
01:19:00,166 --> 01:19:01,916
That's right. [laughs]
1579
01:19:01,916 --> 01:19:03,750
Life is just a barrel of surprises.
1580
01:19:06,083 --> 01:19:07,875
Not the best attention span in the world.
1581
01:19:07,875 --> 01:19:12,166
Sa See, you must leave with our friends,
join the Ku Koos and secure their support.
1582
01:19:12,750 --> 01:19:16,000
I will attempt to rally our own army
and our followers.
1583
01:19:16,541 --> 01:19:17,791
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1584
01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:21,375
I will strive to be worthy, Mother.
I'll make you proud of me.
1585
01:19:23,166 --> 01:19:24,916
You've already made me proud.
1586
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:27,791
[Empress] Let us go, Ka Ra Tay.
1587
01:19:41,458 --> 01:19:45,166
[both giggling]
1588
01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:46,750
That won't end well.
1589
01:19:46,750 --> 01:19:48,458
- [laughs]
- [grunts]
1590
01:19:52,083 --> 01:19:54,291
[soft music playing]
1591
01:19:54,291 --> 01:19:55,416
Ka Ra Tay.
1592
01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:11,541
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obélix.
1593
01:20:13,416 --> 01:20:14,375
And Obélix for her.
1594
01:20:17,208 --> 01:20:20,208
There's a bit too much falling,
don't you think, in this adventure.
1595
01:20:21,333 --> 01:20:22,333
Right, let's get moving.
1596
01:20:23,875 --> 01:20:25,458
Obélix, are you coming?
1597
01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:31,166
[soft music playing]
1598
01:20:33,875 --> 01:20:37,500
- [Caesar] What kind of booze is this?
- [Deng Tsin Qin] It's rice wine.
1599
01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:39,916
You're not the most refined people
in the world, hmm?
1600
01:20:44,416 --> 01:20:47,125
It's not for the weak,
but it does grow on you.
1601
01:20:47,125 --> 01:20:48,375
It's relaxing.
1602
01:20:48,375 --> 01:20:49,458
Rice is nice.
1603
01:20:50,083 --> 01:20:51,125
I should bring some home,
1604
01:20:51,125 --> 01:20:53,208
it'd make arguing
with the missus more fun.
1605
01:20:55,916 --> 01:20:56,875
You know,
1606
01:20:56,875 --> 01:20:59,041
it's in moments like this one...
1607
01:21:00,833 --> 01:21:01,958
[sighs]
1608
01:21:01,958 --> 01:21:03,416
...that I most miss her.
1609
01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:05,291
What's that music?
1610
01:21:05,291 --> 01:21:06,291
Is that a band?
1611
01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:08,125
Four guys and a singer.
1612
01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:10,083
- You take musicians wherever you go?
- Yeah.
1613
01:21:10,083 --> 01:21:11,458
It's convenient.
1614
01:21:12,250 --> 01:21:14,916
I play all my favourite tunes on the move.
1615
01:21:16,208 --> 01:21:18,625
- Do you know this one?
- Everyone knows this one.
1616
01:21:19,375 --> 01:21:22,000
That... That's music, right there.
1617
01:21:22,958 --> 01:21:26,125
A step up from your,
"Ting-tong-tong, tipiting-Tong-Tong."
1618
01:21:30,333 --> 01:21:32,083
[sighs]
1619
01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:39,791
Amore.
1620
01:21:39,791 --> 01:21:42,166
Whoa! Hey, what's that for?
1621
01:21:43,708 --> 01:21:46,125
- I thought you were my wife.
- No, I'm nobody's wife.
1622
01:21:47,916 --> 01:21:48,833
[Caesar] You know what?
1623
01:21:48,833 --> 01:21:51,750
That booze of yours
made me feel alive again.
1624
01:21:54,250 --> 01:21:57,125
I'm feeling like...
the new emperor of China.
1625
01:21:57,708 --> 01:22:01,375
When she sees that, your friend Cleo,
it's gonna blow her little mind.
1626
01:22:02,291 --> 01:22:05,000
Tomorrow at dawn,
the Ku Koos' clocks will be wound!
1627
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:06,250
[sighs]
1628
01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:13,583
Wow...
1629
01:22:16,916 --> 01:22:19,041
[epic music playing]
1630
01:22:22,458 --> 01:22:24,833
[Astérix] Obélix, slow down,
we're getting off soon.
1631
01:22:24,833 --> 01:22:28,041
- [Sa See] Yes, it's the next exit.
- [tyres screeching]
1632
01:22:28,041 --> 01:22:29,791
[narrator] Once again, thanks to Obélix,
1633
01:22:29,791 --> 01:22:34,000
our friends beat Caesar's legions
to the Palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1634
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:35,791
the Man in the Bamboo Mask,
1635
01:22:35,791 --> 01:22:37,250
if you've been following.
1636
01:22:41,291 --> 01:22:42,875
I am To Fu,
1637
01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:46,500
advisor to the prince-regent Ku Koo.
1638
01:22:47,083 --> 01:22:48,250
Can you now prove
1639
01:22:49,208 --> 01:22:52,333
you are not trying to impersonate
the princess of China?
1640
01:22:52,333 --> 01:22:55,125
You have my word.
I'm the daughter of the Empress.
1641
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:58,833
I'm sorry, but just your word
means nothing to me.
1642
01:22:59,416 --> 01:23:02,333
- [heavy breathing]
- You could be a spy,
1643
01:23:02,333 --> 01:23:05,125
bought and paid for by Deng Tsin Qin!
1644
01:23:05,958 --> 01:23:06,833
[both] Uh? No.
1645
01:23:07,791 --> 01:23:09,750
Show him the coin.
1646
01:23:09,750 --> 01:23:11,833
[dramatic music playing]
1647
01:23:14,500 --> 01:23:17,916
Will this coin finally make you kneel
before your Empress's daughter?
1648
01:23:17,916 --> 01:23:19,041
Oh.
1649
01:23:20,041 --> 01:23:22,041
[To Fu] My grovelling apologies,
Princess Sa See.
1650
01:23:22,041 --> 01:23:23,583
We had to be cautious.
1651
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:27,958
His Highness, the Prince Ku Koo!
1652
01:23:28,458 --> 01:23:29,791
[groaning]
1653
01:23:29,791 --> 01:23:32,083
[tense music playing]
1654
01:23:35,125 --> 01:23:36,333
[Obélix mumbles]
1655
01:23:40,458 --> 01:23:41,875
[Bankruptis] What you doing? Obélix!
1656
01:23:41,875 --> 01:23:43,500
Turn around and look at him.
1657
01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:45,458
You're being rude, this is his place.
1658
01:23:45,458 --> 01:23:46,583
[Obélix trembles]
1659
01:23:53,166 --> 01:23:56,750
♪ Say you, say me ♪
1660
01:23:58,708 --> 01:24:01,000
♪ Say it for always ♪
1661
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:05,208
♪ That's the way it should be ♪
1662
01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:08,833
Princess Sa See,
1663
01:24:08,833 --> 01:24:11,583
I am Prince Ku Koo,
my army is at your service.
1664
01:24:11,583 --> 01:24:13,875
We rally behind your mother, our Empress.
1665
01:24:13,875 --> 01:24:15,750
Uh... I, um...
1666
01:24:15,750 --> 01:24:18,625
Thank you, um,
I'm sorry, I'm at a loss for words.
1667
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:21,500
[Ku Koo] That's my fault.
My cursed hair must frighten you.
1668
01:24:22,333 --> 01:24:24,083
Oh no, not at all.
It suits you beautifully.
1669
01:24:25,666 --> 01:24:27,125
You're the first person
who's ever said that.
1670
01:24:27,125 --> 01:24:29,083
You're the first person
I've wanted to say it to.
1671
01:24:29,083 --> 01:24:32,375
♪ When you feel you lost your way ♪
1672
01:24:32,916 --> 01:24:35,333
♪ You got someone there to say ♪
1673
01:24:36,833 --> 01:24:39,000
♪ I'll show you ♪
1674
01:24:41,916 --> 01:24:44,583
♪ Say you, say me... ♪
1675
01:24:44,583 --> 01:24:46,791
Somebody's wigging out.
1676
01:24:46,791 --> 01:24:49,125
All those months of effort, for nothing.
1677
01:24:51,791 --> 01:24:53,875
And just like that.
Dumped into the friend zone.
1678
01:24:54,458 --> 01:24:56,208
Princess, can we go now?
1679
01:24:57,625 --> 01:24:59,333
Is there a Kingdom to save or not?
1680
01:25:02,458 --> 01:25:04,666
♪ Say it together ♪
1681
01:25:06,416 --> 01:25:08,333
♪ Naturally ♪
1682
01:25:08,333 --> 01:25:11,125
[dramatic music playing]
1683
01:25:12,666 --> 01:25:15,708
Typically Ku Koo
to build your palace in a basin.
1684
01:25:15,708 --> 01:25:17,041
Oh, cornered!
1685
01:25:17,625 --> 01:25:19,666
Surrounded by Caesar. Shouldn't take long.
1686
01:25:23,458 --> 01:25:26,500
Surrender unto Caesar.
Here goes nothing then.
1687
01:25:38,083 --> 01:25:39,958
I am Princess Sa See.
1688
01:25:39,958 --> 01:25:42,208
Submit to the power
of the One Empress of China.
1689
01:25:42,833 --> 01:25:43,875
[laughter]
1690
01:25:44,500 --> 01:25:47,041
Sa See, my darling,
now we can get married!
1691
01:25:47,041 --> 01:25:50,541
Over my dead body.
You'll regret your actions, Deng Tsin Qin.
1692
01:25:51,458 --> 01:25:52,833
Seems a difficult sell.
1693
01:25:52,833 --> 01:25:54,250
Pretty unlikely, I won't lie.
1694
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:57,458
- I have a question for you, Princess.
- There you go.
1695
01:25:58,083 --> 01:25:59,500
How many troops you got?
1696
01:25:59,500 --> 01:26:00,750
Ten thousand.
1697
01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:04,375
No, I'm just saying, 'cause...
I've come with eighty thousand men here!
1698
01:26:04,375 --> 01:26:06,083
[cheering]
1699
01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:13,541
The power of experience, simply put.
Can't help it. I've never lost.
1700
01:26:13,541 --> 01:26:14,833
Ha, you're marvellous.
1701
01:26:14,833 --> 01:26:18,166
It would seem you've miscounted.
It's ten thousand, plus two.
1702
01:26:18,166 --> 01:26:19,500
If you still need me, obviously.
1703
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:20,750
Hello, Julius!
1704
01:26:20,750 --> 01:26:22,875
- [Obélix] It's us!
- The weirdos.
1705
01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,166
[Ku Koo] Not plus two,
1706
01:26:24,166 --> 01:26:25,875
plus three!
1707
01:26:26,458 --> 01:26:27,666
The Man Behind the Bamboo!
1708
01:26:29,666 --> 01:26:31,166
[Deng Tsin Qin] How awful. Poor boy.
1709
01:26:31,750 --> 01:26:33,416
- He's a blonde.
- It's not such a bad look.
1710
01:26:33,416 --> 01:26:35,041
[Bankruptis] Not plus three, plus four!
1711
01:26:35,916 --> 01:26:38,791
I am the Man in the Blue Plumage.
1712
01:26:38,791 --> 01:26:40,083
What is that?
1713
01:26:43,333 --> 01:26:45,166
That's enough talk.
1714
01:26:46,750 --> 01:26:49,333
Why be talking, when you can be running?
1715
01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:50,333
Ah!
1716
01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:52,000
- [rock music playing]
- [cheering]
1717
01:26:55,583 --> 01:26:57,041
[grunts]
1718
01:26:57,041 --> 01:26:59,041
[Antivirus] Mamma mia.
1719
01:26:59,041 --> 01:27:00,291
[crowd sighs]
1720
01:27:01,375 --> 01:27:03,625
The man starts off cold! Silly boy.
1721
01:27:03,625 --> 01:27:05,416
- Did I give the order?
- No, you didn't.
1722
01:27:07,416 --> 01:27:08,333
[sighs]
1723
01:27:08,333 --> 01:27:09,416
All right. Rotate.
1724
01:27:09,416 --> 01:27:12,250
- Rotatio!
- [off-key horn playing]
1725
01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:15,000
[soldiers chanting] Antivirus!
1726
01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:16,416
Antivirus!
1727
01:27:16,416 --> 01:27:21,166
- Antivirus! Antivirus!
- [horn hooting]
1728
01:27:21,166 --> 01:27:23,208
[chanting continues]
1729
01:27:29,625 --> 01:27:31,541
[shouting]
1730
01:27:31,541 --> 01:27:32,791
[cork popping]
1731
01:27:32,791 --> 01:27:34,708
[bagpipes playing]
1732
01:27:39,500 --> 01:27:41,458
- [sighs]
- Ah!
1733
01:27:47,208 --> 01:27:48,041
[exhales]
1734
01:27:51,833 --> 01:27:53,750
Hey, Astérix. Gimme some, will you?
1735
01:27:53,750 --> 01:27:56,625
- Nah. Not enough to go around.
- [mocking] Not enough to go around.
1736
01:28:00,333 --> 01:28:01,708
What a bunch of cheaters!
1737
01:28:01,708 --> 01:28:02,875
Won't save 'em, though.
1738
01:28:04,416 --> 01:28:06,291
Attack!
1739
01:28:06,291 --> 01:28:08,250
[soldiers cheer]
1740
01:28:09,541 --> 01:28:10,541
Wah!
1741
01:28:10,541 --> 01:28:12,750
- [battle cries]
- [barking]
1742
01:28:22,833 --> 01:28:24,291
- Yo!
- What?
1743
01:28:25,208 --> 01:28:26,083
Yessir.
1744
01:28:47,708 --> 01:28:48,666
[barking]
1745
01:28:48,666 --> 01:28:50,125
[shouts]
1746
01:29:05,416 --> 01:29:06,416
[groans]
1747
01:29:07,791 --> 01:29:09,250
[screaming]
1748
01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:16,708
Help me.
1749
01:29:16,708 --> 01:29:18,416
Shh! Shut up, by golly.
1750
01:29:18,416 --> 01:29:20,041
You'll get us caught.
1751
01:29:20,041 --> 01:29:22,458
Golly. As in Gauls.
1752
01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,166
So, is it my turn?
1753
01:29:36,166 --> 01:29:37,500
Yeah, sure, if you want.
1754
01:29:37,500 --> 01:29:38,583
Archers!
1755
01:29:39,583 --> 01:29:40,916
Aim!
1756
01:29:40,916 --> 01:29:42,458
Draw!
1757
01:29:42,458 --> 01:29:43,958
Fire!
1758
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:48,666
Deng Tsin Qin, Emperor of China!
[laughs]
1759
01:29:48,666 --> 01:29:50,250
[mysterious music playing]
1760
01:29:50,250 --> 01:29:51,541
Arrows!
1761
01:29:59,291 --> 01:30:01,291
[screams]
1762
01:30:05,791 --> 01:30:07,250
Come on. Seriously?
1763
01:30:07,250 --> 01:30:09,916
Don't judge. Ah!
1764
01:30:11,291 --> 01:30:12,333
I can feel it.
1765
01:30:13,541 --> 01:30:15,833
The kick is a monster. Ah!
1766
01:30:15,833 --> 01:30:18,083
[yelling]
1767
01:30:18,083 --> 01:30:19,208
Crazy force!
1768
01:30:19,208 --> 01:30:20,583
Oh...
1769
01:30:20,583 --> 01:30:23,916
Is that all? Is this all? Argh!
1770
01:30:23,916 --> 01:30:26,875
No! I can't believe it. This is pathetic!
1771
01:30:28,750 --> 01:30:30,708
[soldier yelling]
1772
01:30:36,791 --> 01:30:39,208
- I smell victory.
- Ah, smells of victory.
1773
01:30:39,208 --> 01:30:40,958
A specific smell, would you say?
1774
01:30:42,208 --> 01:30:44,291
Readers care about that sort of detail?
1775
01:30:44,291 --> 01:30:45,708
It flavours the experience.
1776
01:30:47,458 --> 01:30:49,166
It reeks of laurel then.
1777
01:30:49,166 --> 01:30:52,375
Excellent. Excellent!
1778
01:30:52,375 --> 01:30:54,291
[dramatic music playing]
1779
01:30:57,750 --> 01:30:58,875
[grunts]
1780
01:30:58,875 --> 01:31:00,375
[laughs]
1781
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:05,583
[laughs]
1782
01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:09,291
[screams]
1783
01:31:09,291 --> 01:31:12,458
[emotional music playing]
1784
01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:15,083
Thank you.
1785
01:31:15,083 --> 01:31:16,333
You're welcome.
1786
01:31:16,333 --> 01:31:17,583
[screams]
1787
01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:21,583
I won't not help you
just 'cause we've argued.
1788
01:31:22,166 --> 01:31:23,000
I know.
1789
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:25,083
- I've always said I'd defend you.
- [screams]
1790
01:31:25,750 --> 01:31:26,750
I know.
1791
01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:30,166
Because you'll always be my best mate.
1792
01:31:32,875 --> 01:31:33,833
I know.
1793
01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:36,250
Sorry, Obélix.
1794
01:31:39,125 --> 01:31:41,250
[Sa See] Astérix! Obélix!
1795
01:31:48,708 --> 01:31:51,250
[Obélix grunts]
1796
01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:02,166
Obélix! Don't!
1797
01:32:02,750 --> 01:32:03,916
Don't.
1798
01:32:14,208 --> 01:32:16,500
[laughs]
1799
01:32:16,500 --> 01:32:21,166
Before we die,
I need to tell you something, Princess.
1800
01:32:21,166 --> 01:32:23,083
- [soft music playing]
- [hoof steps approaching]
1801
01:32:27,125 --> 01:32:30,166
[epic music playing]
1802
01:32:47,208 --> 01:32:48,041
Look there!
1803
01:32:49,875 --> 01:32:51,583
[narrator] And just when all seemed lost,
1804
01:32:52,416 --> 01:32:53,791
the Empress appeared,
1805
01:32:53,791 --> 01:32:56,833
followed by her army
and all of her people.
1806
01:32:56,833 --> 01:32:58,291
Everyone came.
1807
01:32:58,291 --> 01:33:00,250
They followed her
across the Middle Kingdom,
1808
01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:04,375
marching all the way
to the ultimate battle scene.
1809
01:33:16,916 --> 01:33:17,750
Oh?
1810
01:33:17,750 --> 01:33:19,500
[soft music playing]
1811
01:33:21,416 --> 01:33:23,333
- What the heck is that?
- I'm not sure.
1812
01:33:23,333 --> 01:33:26,041
But I don't smell
a lot of laurel right now.
1813
01:33:26,541 --> 01:33:29,083
More like pine caskets.
1814
01:33:29,083 --> 01:33:30,333
[sighs]
1815
01:33:31,750 --> 01:33:32,958
[horn hoots]
1816
01:33:34,583 --> 01:33:36,083
Caesar!
1817
01:33:36,083 --> 01:33:38,291
I am the Empress of China.
1818
01:33:38,291 --> 01:33:40,916
You will leave my empire forthwith.
I order you.
1819
01:33:40,916 --> 01:33:43,458
- [laughs]
- Never!
1820
01:33:43,458 --> 01:33:45,708
Woman of character. Reminds me of someone.
1821
01:33:45,708 --> 01:33:46,833
Ooh...
1822
01:33:47,708 --> 01:33:49,125
Your Majesty,
1823
01:33:49,791 --> 01:33:52,000
rather than lose our temper
and ruin everything,
1824
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:54,708
perhaps we could consider
some sort of alliance?
1825
01:33:54,708 --> 01:33:57,625
When the clouds pass in front of the sun,
1826
01:33:57,625 --> 01:34:00,041
my army will trample you to dust.
1827
01:34:00,916 --> 01:34:03,541
What's that now, another proverb of yours?
1828
01:34:03,541 --> 01:34:06,333
Oh no, it's literal.
And it's happening now.
1829
01:34:07,625 --> 01:34:09,291
[dramatic music playing]
1830
01:34:12,041 --> 01:34:14,541
- How many of you are there?
- [gasps] Watch him do his thing!
1831
01:34:15,166 --> 01:34:17,375
One million.
1832
01:34:17,375 --> 01:34:19,625
[music distorts and fades out]
1833
01:34:19,625 --> 01:34:22,250
Ah. The maths don't work as well.
1834
01:34:22,250 --> 01:34:23,208
[sighs]
1835
01:34:23,208 --> 01:34:25,666
Boys, I'm gonna hit the road.
It's not like I'm from here.
1836
01:34:25,666 --> 01:34:27,458
I'm returning to Rome, so keep in touch.
1837
01:34:27,458 --> 01:34:31,291
But Caesar, you can't just bail on us!
There's a million of them!
1838
01:34:32,083 --> 01:34:33,500
It's not my war.
1839
01:34:34,166 --> 01:34:35,500
[off-key horn playing]
1840
01:34:38,833 --> 01:34:40,583
I can't just trot off.
1841
01:34:42,625 --> 01:34:44,208
[whistles] Hi-ho, Equus!
1842
01:34:45,541 --> 01:34:46,958
Hi-ho. Now. [snaps fingers]
1843
01:34:50,125 --> 01:34:51,500
[coos and vibrates]
1844
01:34:55,791 --> 01:34:56,916
GOT YOUR MESSAGE!
1845
01:34:56,916 --> 01:35:01,000
SAY GOODBYE TO MY LITTLE PYRAMID!
CLEOPATRA
1846
01:35:01,000 --> 01:35:03,000
[sighs] That's one rough day.
1847
01:35:03,625 --> 01:35:04,458
A rough one.
1848
01:35:05,375 --> 01:35:06,416
Right.
1849
01:35:10,250 --> 01:35:11,916
Hurray!
1850
01:35:11,916 --> 01:35:13,750
- [majestic music playing]
- [cries of victory]
1851
01:35:16,166 --> 01:35:20,583
[scattered cheering]
1852
01:35:24,083 --> 01:35:27,083
[Sa See yells indistinctly]
1853
01:35:35,833 --> 01:35:36,666
[laughs]
1854
01:35:41,666 --> 01:35:44,166
Hurray!
1855
01:35:44,166 --> 01:35:45,666
[narrator] Now that's more like it.
1856
01:35:45,666 --> 01:35:48,750
- [light-hearted music playing]
- And here we are, back in Gaul.
1857
01:35:48,750 --> 01:35:51,916
Not only for our friends' usual banquet,
1858
01:35:51,916 --> 01:35:57,958
but also to hold a celebration
in honour of Gaul and China.
1859
01:35:59,833 --> 01:36:03,291
Your attention,
the Empress will be speaking now.
1860
01:36:04,541 --> 01:36:05,583
Valiant warriors,
1861
01:36:06,666 --> 01:36:08,541
my gratitude is eternal.
1862
01:36:09,208 --> 01:36:10,916
[Vitalstatistix]
Our honour, Your Majesty.
1863
01:36:10,916 --> 01:36:13,750
In fact, I'm the one who insisted
we rush to your aid.
1864
01:36:15,166 --> 01:36:17,000
We have come all this way today
1865
01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,041
to celebrate a beautiful union.
1866
01:36:19,041 --> 01:36:21,250
[soft music playing]
1867
01:36:27,750 --> 01:36:30,500
That's my cousin. Remix's the name.
1868
01:36:30,500 --> 01:36:32,375
He's a specialist of world music!
1869
01:36:32,375 --> 01:36:36,000
He's my cousin, he's mine, all mine.
He is not, at all, your cousin, he's my--
1870
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:37,166
- Shush!
- [scoffs]
1871
01:37:09,750 --> 01:37:11,416
[muffled protest]
1872
01:37:22,625 --> 01:37:25,125
[Vitalstatistix] You know,
we're a bit alike, me and you.
1873
01:37:25,125 --> 01:37:26,333
We're chiefs.
1874
01:37:26,333 --> 01:37:29,041
I believe wielding power
gets pretty lonely.
1875
01:37:29,041 --> 01:37:30,375
Wouldn't you say so?
1876
01:37:32,666 --> 01:37:34,666
And... I'm not done.
1877
01:37:34,666 --> 01:37:38,083
And what's more, behind every great man,
there's a great woman.
1878
01:37:38,083 --> 01:37:41,166
Without Impedimenta, I'm lost.
At home, she's wearing the moustache.
1879
01:37:41,166 --> 01:37:43,916
Not interrupting, am I? Having a nice day?
1880
01:37:43,916 --> 01:37:46,250
[Impedimenta] Huh?
We'll settle this at home.
1881
01:37:46,250 --> 01:37:48,833
- [tutting]
- Hey, Mimenta!
1882
01:37:49,500 --> 01:37:52,041
Excuse me.
Just some minor marital strife to settle.
1883
01:37:52,625 --> 01:37:54,666
Mimenta! Mimenta!
1884
01:37:54,666 --> 01:37:56,833
[sighs] I thought he would never leave.
1885
01:37:59,041 --> 01:38:02,125
You know what? When you left the cell,
I recovered my head.
1886
01:38:02,708 --> 01:38:03,583
Mm.
1887
01:38:03,583 --> 01:38:06,541
What I lost, though,
was my poor little heart.
1888
01:38:07,125 --> 01:38:08,791
- Oh, don't be silly.
- [both giggle]
1889
01:38:08,791 --> 01:38:11,541
And so, what have you done with it?
1890
01:38:13,916 --> 01:38:15,208
See that, Bankruptis?
1891
01:38:15,208 --> 01:38:17,541
Huh? Prison didn't stop
your unkie's oo-la-la!
1892
01:38:17,541 --> 01:38:19,541
[laughs] High class.
1893
01:38:20,541 --> 01:38:21,708
[barking]
1894
01:38:25,833 --> 01:38:27,333
Hey. Bring another plate.
1895
01:38:27,333 --> 01:38:29,458
Or even better, a big dish, okay?
Wanna share?
1896
01:38:29,458 --> 01:38:32,250
- No. I'm not gonna give in now.
- Right, sorry.
1897
01:38:33,625 --> 01:38:35,625
So you still don't miss it?
1898
01:38:35,625 --> 01:38:37,291
Why would I miss it?
1899
01:38:37,291 --> 01:38:40,000
I tell you,
I can't even stand the smell now.
1900
01:38:41,333 --> 01:38:43,916
What I might miss sometimes
is the midnight snack, you know?
1901
01:38:44,541 --> 01:38:46,416
After a barley beer or two,
it gets complicated.
1902
01:38:47,875 --> 01:38:48,875
Obélix?
1903
01:38:49,750 --> 01:38:51,000
Panacea.
1904
01:38:51,541 --> 01:38:52,375
Am I in the way?
1905
01:38:52,375 --> 01:38:53,833
- No.
- [Panacea] I am.
1906
01:38:53,833 --> 01:38:56,500
I can tell.
Since you're back, I'm invisible.
1907
01:38:57,916 --> 01:39:00,583
Are the rumours true, about you and her?
1908
01:39:01,375 --> 01:39:02,500
This is ridiculous.
1909
01:39:02,500 --> 01:39:04,666
Long distance relationships don't work.
1910
01:39:04,666 --> 01:39:07,583
Think about the situation.
'Cause I'm here.
1911
01:39:08,500 --> 01:39:10,875
Been waiting for months, worried to death,
1912
01:39:10,875 --> 01:39:12,625
while you were chasing another woman?
1913
01:39:13,416 --> 01:39:14,458
Do you not love me?
1914
01:39:14,458 --> 01:39:16,750
- Huh?
- [Panacea] Well do you or don't you?
1915
01:39:16,750 --> 01:39:19,833
You used to love me.
So is it a yes or a no?
1916
01:39:19,833 --> 01:39:21,875
- [Panacea] Do I have to forget you?
- Tell her yes.
1917
01:39:21,875 --> 01:39:23,208
Listen, Panacea... Pff...
1918
01:39:24,291 --> 01:39:25,125
it's not happening.
1919
01:39:25,750 --> 01:39:28,375
This village goes
from one adventure to another.
1920
01:39:29,625 --> 01:39:32,958
And it's time I did as well.
That's all. Nothing personal.
1921
01:39:34,041 --> 01:39:35,875
Now if you'll excuse me...
1922
01:39:35,875 --> 01:39:36,875
You're a fool.
1923
01:39:38,666 --> 01:39:41,041
But, uh, I'm still...
1924
01:39:45,000 --> 01:39:46,916
[soft konghou playing]
1925
01:39:46,916 --> 01:39:50,833
[singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
in Chinese]
1926
01:41:07,958 --> 01:41:10,125
[mouthing]
1927
01:41:14,416 --> 01:41:17,958
[mysterious music playing]
1928
01:41:18,666 --> 01:41:21,541
["(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
continues]
1929
01:41:27,166 --> 01:41:28,750
[cheering]
1930
01:41:32,250 --> 01:41:33,791
[muffled protest]
1931
01:42:03,666 --> 01:42:05,125
Nice party, huh?
1932
01:42:05,125 --> 01:42:07,250
I thought everyone had a good time.
1933
01:42:08,625 --> 01:42:10,250
It was a good party.
1934
01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:15,125
So Ka Ra Tay, she... she left, didn't she?
1935
01:42:15,125 --> 01:42:17,125
Well, yeah, long ride home.
1936
01:42:19,083 --> 01:42:20,708
She called me her sweetheart.
1937
01:42:20,708 --> 01:42:21,916
[soft music playing]
1938
01:42:21,916 --> 01:42:23,208
She did?
1939
01:42:23,750 --> 01:42:25,541
That's amazing, Oby.
1940
01:42:25,541 --> 01:42:28,208
And so, she didn't...
she didn't feel like staying?
1941
01:42:28,208 --> 01:42:30,041
Well, she wanted to, of course, but...
1942
01:42:30,666 --> 01:42:33,791
she's got work in China,
big responsibilities in the palace.
1943
01:42:34,750 --> 01:42:37,625
No big deal, it'll happen.
When we grow up.
1944
01:42:38,750 --> 01:42:39,583
When you grow up?
1945
01:42:39,583 --> 01:42:41,416
Well... yeah.
1946
01:42:42,125 --> 01:42:42,958
Well...
1947
01:42:43,625 --> 01:42:45,791
I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed.
1948
01:42:46,375 --> 01:42:47,416
[Obélix yawns]
1949
01:42:48,541 --> 01:42:50,083
- Hey, Oby?
- Hmm?
1950
01:42:50,666 --> 01:42:52,000
One more for the road, then?
1951
01:42:52,000 --> 01:42:54,166
- Oh, don't mind if I do!
- [chuckles]
1952
01:42:55,750 --> 01:42:57,458
[Obélix laughs]
1953
01:43:01,375 --> 01:43:03,083
Oh, Oby...
1954
01:43:03,083 --> 01:43:04,291
Aw, mate.
1955
01:43:04,291 --> 01:43:06,416
[both laugh]
1956
01:43:07,041 --> 01:43:08,000
Oby!
1957
01:43:08,000 --> 01:43:09,125
Oh, Astérix!
1958
01:43:09,125 --> 01:43:10,541
Obélix!
1959
01:43:11,375 --> 01:43:13,083
[muffled laughter]
1960
01:43:13,083 --> 01:43:15,166
[Astérix!] I can't breathe.
1961
01:43:20,291 --> 01:43:21,416
{\an8}THE END
1962
01:43:21,416 --> 01:43:23,833
{\an8}TO RENÉ GOSCINNY & ALBERT UDERZO
1963
01:43:23,833 --> 01:43:25,916
[upbeat adventure music playing]
1964
01:44:19,291 --> 01:44:20,500
[music stops]
1965
01:44:20,500 --> 01:44:22,416
- [rock music playing]
- [Cacofonix] Cou cou!
1966
01:44:23,166 --> 01:44:26,541
[in French]
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪ [laughs]
1967
01:44:29,791 --> 01:44:31,041
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1968
01:44:33,125 --> 01:44:36,250
♪ You don't want me to sing? Hmm? ♪
1969
01:44:37,166 --> 01:44:38,625
- ♪ You don't want me to sing ♪
- Oh !
1970
01:44:38,625 --> 01:44:41,041
- I forgot the surprise.
- What surprise?
1971
01:44:41,041 --> 01:44:42,250
Wait here.
1972
01:44:44,333 --> 01:44:47,208
{\an8}♪ So what is it, my voice or just me? ♪
1973
01:44:47,208 --> 01:44:49,833
{\an8}♪ So is it me or my voice? ♪
1974
01:44:50,833 --> 01:44:53,750
{\an8}♪ So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like? ♪
1975
01:44:53,750 --> 01:44:55,500
♪ Or is it just me? ♪
1976
01:44:56,250 --> 01:44:58,958
♪ Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong ♪
1977
01:44:58,958 --> 01:45:02,000
♪ Don't do this, don't do that ♪
1978
01:45:02,000 --> 01:45:04,833
♪ Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it ♪
1979
01:45:04,833 --> 01:45:07,750
♪ Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me ♪
1980
01:45:09,666 --> 01:45:11,375
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪
1981
01:45:12,208 --> 01:45:15,083
- ♪ Hmm? ♪
- [Obélix laughs]
1982
01:45:15,083 --> 01:45:17,125
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1983
01:45:17,125 --> 01:45:19,916
[Astérix, Obélix] Oh!
1984
01:45:20,791 --> 01:45:22,916
♪ You don't want me to sing? ♪
1985
01:45:26,458 --> 01:45:29,083
♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
1986
01:45:31,333 --> 01:45:32,500
[Cacofonix sings]
1987
01:45:32,500 --> 01:45:34,375
[Biopix] What did Caesar
say about his palace?
1988
01:45:34,375 --> 01:45:36,708
"When I get back, I want it shiny."
1989
01:45:37,333 --> 01:45:38,625
So get it shiny!
1990
01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:40,500
Shine, shine, shine...
1991
01:45:40,500 --> 01:45:44,458
- Shine, you fools.
- There you go, that's the spirit.
1992
01:45:47,500 --> 01:45:49,000
You get the whole Gaulish market.
1993
01:45:49,000 --> 01:45:51,125
All I want is China,
and the rest of the world.
1994
01:45:51,125 --> 01:45:53,375
It's a mega deal! Take it or leave it.
1995
01:45:53,375 --> 01:45:55,083
I demand you give me an answer.
1996
01:45:55,083 --> 01:45:56,708
What's this mega deal you're making?
1997
01:45:56,708 --> 01:45:58,583
- I never said mega deal--
- Yes, you did,
1998
01:45:58,583 --> 01:46:00,416
you miserable Kh'mar.
An accomplished merchant
1999
01:46:00,416 --> 01:46:03,125
such as myself
can read lips three miles away?
2000
01:46:03,125 --> 01:46:05,666
- So why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
2001
01:46:05,666 --> 01:46:07,375
[both argue]
2002
01:46:09,541 --> 01:46:12,416
I'm telling you, honey,
you'll get your Julius back for sure.
2003
01:46:12,416 --> 01:46:14,916
All you gotta do
is send him a message saying,
2004
01:46:14,916 --> 01:46:18,083
"I'll cross oceans and ponds,
even dye my hair blonde..."
2005
01:46:18,083 --> 01:46:20,666
And voilà, he'll be at your doorstep
before you know it.
2006
01:46:20,666 --> 01:46:22,500
[sighs] I guess so.
2007
01:46:22,500 --> 01:46:24,666
Don't know why I get so embalmed about it.
2008
01:46:26,500 --> 01:46:30,416
Aw. Oh no, it's flat.
You wouldn't have a poultry charger?
2009
01:46:30,416 --> 01:46:33,083
Ah! Don't move. I'll get you one.
2010
01:46:34,166 --> 01:46:36,083
With an Egyptian plug?
2011
01:46:36,916 --> 01:46:38,166
[Caesar] Why not a Roman one?
2012
01:46:39,333 --> 01:46:40,750
[Cleo laughs]
2013
01:46:43,083 --> 01:46:45,208
[Cacofonix] ♪ I'm gonna sing anyway ♪
2014
01:46:45,208 --> 01:46:47,333
- [laughter]
- He just sang anyway.
2015
01:46:49,250 --> 01:46:52,375
[man 1]
Hey, you about done with the noise?
2016
01:46:52,375 --> 01:46:54,541
[man 2]
We wanna get some sleep around here!
2017
01:46:56,208 --> 01:46:57,916
[both laughing]
2018
01:46:59,625 --> 01:47:00,458
I'm sorry!
2019
01:47:05,041 --> 01:47:06,250
[Astérix] Good night!
2020
01:47:06,250 --> 01:47:08,625
[Obélix] Good night you goody-goody-Gauls!
2021
01:47:10,291 --> 01:47:12,958
{\an8}["Ils Sont Fous, Ces Humains" playing]