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♪ See the snow falling down ♪
♪ Lights are hung around the town ♪
♪ I can feel it in the air ♪
♪ On this Christmas ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
Good morning, Dayton, Ohio, and welcome to Channel 71 News.
I'm Avery Quinn. In our top story,
former mayor Hewitt Vance,
continues to defend against accusations
of corruption with his Christmas Care Foundation as--
[Man] Avery! We need that story! We're on in five!
Sorry. Right. It's on its way to the prompter now.
[music]
Center frame. Can you pan camera left?
[indistinct chatter]
Okay, center...
Good morning, Dayton. I'm Misty McAllen.
And I'm Bink Binkerson.
This is Channel 71 News at 5:00 AM for December 23rd!
In our top story, former mayor Hewitt Vance
continues to defend against accusations of corruption
with his Christmas Care Foundation
as his one-time right-hand man
claims the former mayor is using foundation funds
for personal use.
I'm 100% innocent.
Peter Mayhew is a disgruntled ex-employee
who loves a good conspiracy theory.
Mayhew continues to allege that the former mayor
holds two sets of accounting records,
despite the fact that an ongoing investigation
has produced no evidence to date.
Have you heard anything?
Nancy wants to see me after the show.
They're gonna give it to you.
You're Sophie Ashburn's daughter. It's in your DNA.
No, I don't wanna use that.
All my mom talks about is how she did it all on her own.
I want to do that, too.
Well, I think you'll make a great weekend anchor.
And there's no doubt you can report circles around these two.
And in lighter news, coming up after the break,
a penguin has fallen in love with a chihuahua?
[laughing]
Did you write that?
I can't wait for this story.
It's a Christmas miracle. Stay tuned!
[music]
They don't think you're ready.
Oh, right to it then.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I-I mean, I know I stumbled through
a few words in my audition, but I can do this, Nancy.
I'm sure you can, but it's not my decision.
I was nervous.
I mean, I would've had it on the next take.
There are no second takes in the news.
Look, maybe they're unfairly comparing you to your mother--
My mother?
She wasn't immediately the legend that she is now.
It took her time to find her voice.
And I can find mine. I just need--
I just need one more shot.
I'm not gonna say never, but I can't give it to you now.
Look, you're the best researcher we've got.
We would all hate to lose you over this.
You won't lose me over this.
I mean, at least not until 60 Minutes recruits me.
But I will change their minds.
I will find a story that only I can tell.
I will be an anchor.
[music]
[toilet flushing]
Oh, I just heard.
Thank you. You know, I--
I don't think they were ever really
gonna give it to me anyway. I mean, it was just like
a pity audition for Sophie Ashburn's kid.
You remind me a lot of myself when I was first starting out.
Back when I was still mousy little Misty Cornfoot.
And that was two nose jobs ago.
Thank you...
I think?
And I mean, I know I'm not my mom.
Of course not, but she's been reporting
for 33 years, you know?
I'm sure she wasn't perfect when she started either.
Can I be honest, here? You have big shoes to fill,
and there's no getting around that,
so you need to start dressing for the job that you want,
not the job that you already have.
It's not what's on the inside that counts,
but what's on the outside.
That goes against every self-help lecture
I've ever heard.
But it's true.
And a little anchor to future anchor advice...
Infrared light therapy masks. Use it.
It's what keeps us looking like we're still in college.
[coughing]
[sighs]
- Wow. - You were here?
You could've saved me from that.
- I knew she got her nose done! - Twice.
[sighs] You know she's got a point.
You need to make them notice you, Avery.
You know what I always say, the squeaky wheel--
- Is annoying and obnoxious. - And is necessary to get ahead.
Can I just be honest with you?
Anchor to future anchor advice.
- Infrared light therapy. - Ugh!
- Go and make coffee. - I don't know how to squeak.
[Talia] You'll figure it out!
[music]
- Hey, Bec! - Hey!
Merry almost Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Avery!
Have a good night.
[music]
[Sophie] It's a dog-eat-dog business, Avery.
And not everybody's cut out for it.
Do you know how many people came up the ranks with me that
- are now selling real estate? - Fourteen.
[Sophie] Fourteen.
You've got to get a thicker skin, Avery.
Otherwise, they'll just eat you alive.
I got a thousand no's before I got my first yes.
Do you think I let that break me?
No, you did not.
Oh, by the way, daddy and I bought you some presents.
They should be there tomorrow.
And I got him that meat smoker that he wanted.
Should I put your name on the card?
Oh, no thank you. I sent you guys your presents.
I think they should be there tomorrow.
Okay. [sighs]
He's devastated, you know,
that you're not going to be here with us for Christmas.
It's his favorite time of year.
I know. It sucks for me, too. But you remember how it is
when you're trying to establish yourself.
We just really miss you is all.
I miss you guys, too. But we have next year.
Okay. Pull back. Let me see.
It's just like the outfit that I wore
when I interviewed for my first national spot.
And I got that job.
Yeah. Misty wears stuff like this, so I'm hoping that
it will do the trick for me.
You do what you gotta do.
[Misty] Three more homes were reportedly hit last night
by the man police have now dubbed the Santa Crook,
bringing the tally up to eight homes.
He is described as a white male, mid-thirties,
wearing a Santa Claus suit.
[Sophie] Okay, honey, I can see you're busy.
Love you, we'll talk tomorrow.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
[Misty] If anyone has any information that could help
assist with his capture, please call the Dayton Metro Police.
And in other news--
[music]
[Bink] It's 5:00 AM on this beautiful Christmas Eve morning.
Welcome back, Channel 71 viewers.
I'm Bink Binkerson being joined by Chef Joel.
We are so happy to have you.
And it looks like you've brought some festive treats for us.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Okay. Did the spirit of Barbara Walters
visit you last night?
My girl's looking like a real live newscaster.
You think?
Oh, it's so annoying that you can look this good at 4:00 AM.
I think I'm still asleep. Can you tell?
- You look great. - Liar.
[Chef Joel] Well, I could never make it look that good,
so thank you for setting that up as if I made it
because obviously I could never do that good of a job.
[music]
Well, it wouldn't be a proper Christmas party
without Gary's Spam reindeer.
Tell me about it.
Hey, what's happening over there?
Did you call Detroit?
The anchor's curse.
Laryngitis has taken over Misty's vocal chords.
- She lost her voice? - Mm-hmm.
And everyone's out of town for the holidays,
including Bink,
who's on the first plane out Christmas morning.
Misty was supposed to do Christmas morning
tomorrow alone.
What are they gonna do?
Well, seeing as how no one can catch a flight back in time--
Call Detroit. They're skilled.
[coughs]
You've got laryngitis. You can't go on.
I'm perfectly fine.
- What about Florida Sanchez? - What are you-- - Avery? Avery?
You've got this. Go get 'em!
[Misty] I can do it.
Excuse me. I uh, I-I, I could fill in for Misty.
I understand that you don't want to give me the weekend job,
but this is just one broadcast, one very low-rated broadcast.
And you know, it's Christmas morning.
People aren't even paying attention to the 5:00 AM.
They're opening presents, and sleeping, and visiting family.
You're nervous. And nervous people make me nervous.
I promise, I will not let you or the viewers down.
This means everything to me.
You go on at 5:00 for Misty.
- Do not blow it. - Thank you!
Yes! Ooh.
You heard the lady. Don't be late.
- Feel better. - Thanks. Break a leg.
- Squeak, squeak. - Holy crap!
Okay, it's supposed to storm tonight.
- Don't let it keep you up. - Yeah, right.
I'm going to bed like, now. No under eye bags.
No yawning. No stammering.
This is going to be the best Christmas morning broadcast
Channel 71 News has ever seen.
Oh, it's really starting to come down.
You'd better hurry and get home. I'll see you bright and early.
- On the air! - [laughs]
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪
♪ Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring ♪
Jeez, Mom.
♪ Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun ♪
♪ Now the jingle hop has begun ♪
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪
♪ Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time ♪
♪ Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square ♪
♪ In the frosty air ♪
♪ What a bright time, it's the right time ♪
It's unknown if the so-called Santa Crook is armed,
but police are advising to use extra caution.
Lovely.
[Bink] And speaking of caution, keep those snow shovels ready.
This storm is just getting started.
[music]
[banging]
What's that?
[music]
[screams]
[both screaming]
[gasps]
No, no, no. This is not happening tonight.
You can rob me any night but tonight!
[line trilling]
[Recording] We're sorry.
Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
Oh, you are so not sorry.
I need a landline and a Doberman.
[music]
Are you...
Okay...
[Recording] We're sorry.
Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
No, Dasher. No.
[grunts]
[both screaming]
Don't move! You are under citizen's arrest!
The police are on their way!
Why are you up? I followed all the procedures.
- The what? - This wasn't supposed to happen.
You breaking into my house and getting caught?
No. That wasn't supposed to happen!
I didn't break in. I came in the regular way.
- But something was off. - The lights?
- And your thieving skills? - Wait. How long was I out?
I don't know. Like, 10 minutes.
Ten minutes? I've gotta go.
No! The only place you are going, sir, is to jail.
To ja-- Oh, no. There has been a misunderstanding.
Why do I keep choking tonight?
- Oh. Are they still here? - Who?
My dad is going to be so upset.
And you do not want to upset my dad.
Your dad is in on this? What are you, mafia?
Mafia? No! I am not mafia.
I'm Santa Claus.
You know, jolly old Saint Nick?
The big guy in the red pajamas with the ho, ho, ho.
Oh.
Yeah, that's a work in progress.
Okay. You're Santa. I'm the Tooth Fairy.
You're not the Tooth Fairy. I've met the--
- This isn't a joke. - I'm not laughing.
I have a very crucial day tomorrow,
so you messed with the wrong girl.
I'm sorry. You have a crucial day?
It is Christmas Eve,
late on Christmas Eve.
And I still have not finished my rounds.
Okay, okay. Whew. You and I got off on the wrong foot,
so maybe you could just untie me and I'll get on my way.
Absolutely not.
[sighs] Okay, fine. I'm very strong.
I will break out of this.
I will break out of this right in front of you
and I'll just--
Wow, this is surprisingly strong garland.
It's wired for extra molding capabilities.
Oh, that's very, very convenient.
- Maybe you can unwire it for me? - No!
I'm not gonna let you go rob more innocent people.
Unlike you, I care about my fellow man.
I'm sure you care about your fellow man,
especially the ones that you aren't tying up.
But this is a very important night and I really have got--
Okay. Wait. You know what? Maybe I'll just check the time.
I could have lots of time. I've just gotta check my watch.
- Here, if I could-- - Pretty cool watch.
Thank you. It's got latitude and longitude indicators
for traveling at high velocities over hemispheres.
The reindeer have a very good sense of direction,
but this really helps. Whoa. Wow! It is 11:22.
Sunrise is at 6:00 AM and I still haven't even started
delivering gifts to the western hemisphere.
I am so far behind schedule.
Wow, you are really taking it all the way with this.
[thumping on roof] Whoa! What was that?
- No-- - Hey! Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
They're gone.
Who? Who? Are there people on my roof?
This hasn't happened in 188 years.
Do you have any idea what you have done?
What I have done? You broke into my house,
and tonight of all nights.
By doing that you just jeopardized my career!
You have tied up Santa Claus, thereby jeopardizing Christmas!
[music]
[sighs] We have been over this a dozen times.
I'm telling you the truth.
Also, do you have any milk or cookies? I am so hungry.
Enough with the act.
We've been following you on the news for a week.
You dress in a Santa suit, break into people's houses,
and empty their safes.
Yes, I go into people's homes, but I do not do any of
that other stuff. I brought you your gift, by the way.
You're welcome.
Uh, Becca's my neighbor.
- Becca's your neighbor? - Mm-hmm.
There's no Becca here? You're not Becca?
Are you sure? Becca. You're serious?
Mm-hmm.
Oh. Why does this keep happening tonight?
Also, you kind of look like you could be a model.
And I'm supposed to believe that you're Santa?
Oh. Well, thank you for the compliment.
And so you know, the Santa Claus has not looked like
the proverbial Father Christmas in quite some time.
And also, this is my first time doing the rounds.
- Or attempting to. - Okay.
And failing miserably.
Oh, give it up!
If I wasn't really Santa Claus, how would I know that your name
is...
Avery Quinn?
Because you're not only a thief, but also a stalker.
- I'm neither of those things. - Okay.
If you are the real Santa, then you're supposed to know
when I've been bad and good, right?
Let's hear it. When have I been bad?
- That is something that I know. - You should.
- Okay. - Let's hear it.
I'm thinking. You...
You have a number of late-return library books.
Oh, come on.
Okay. You sometimes bite your nails.
Who doesn't?
You didn't floss your teeth last night.
That is not true!
Who flosses every single night?
- Is that an admission of guilt? - Oh, this is ridiculous.
Also, if you're gonna go with the whole I'm Santa thing,
- do better. - Fine. Yes, I know. [sighs]
Okay, here's the truth.
The intel is supposed to transfer to the new Santa,
but for whatever reason, I'm not connecting in full force.
Oh, maybe my dad was right.
It's one thing to wear the boots,
but you have to own the boots.
Let's not do a therapy session right now, though.
What if you could complete the most important task
in your life?
Robbing my neighbors is the most important thing of your life?
- Honestly, I pity you. - I didn't rob your neighbors.
Becca's gonna wake up on Christmas morning.
She's gonna go downstairs and she's gonna look for
the one thing she asked for for Christmas
and it's not gonna be there, an organic chemistry kit.
You opened it? How do you sleep at night?
I didn't open it! I made--
Okay. You know what? Pfft.
What difference does it make whether or not I'm returning
the gift or bringing her the gift for the first time?
The most important thing is that Becca gets her gift.
And you are the only person that is preventing that
from happening.
So what do you say? Bring Becca her gift.
[music]
You want me to go with you over there?
- Yes. - Right now.
- Yes. - And bring the gift?
Uh-huh.
Fine.
I'm going to put pants on. You better not move.
- Stay right there. - Fine.
- Don't move. - Of course.
Elf's honor.
[music]
Yes, it's bad news. I lost contact with Chris.
[Farley] What do you mean you lost contact?
We almost got caught by the security patrol and-and
there were so many potential onlookers
I had to leave him inside. And now um...
- He's off grid. - [Farley] Off the what?
Dillon! I can't report back with that!
Yeah, I'm freaking out here!
It's my first Christmas as the right-hand man,
and I'm neither to the right nor by the man!
[Farley] Look, just breathe.
He has his phone, right?
Yeah, it's just the cell reception is pretty bad
because of the storm.
[Farley] Keep trying to establish contact.
And if you can't reach him, go back to that last house.
He's gotta still be there. You got it?
Okay, but... [line beeps]
You didn't have to hang up! But sure.
[phone playing Jingle Bells ]
Oh, oh, my phone!
Haven't known you long, but that ring tone
is pretty on brand.
Yeah, if you could just answer it? It's in my jacket pocket.
[phone playing Jingle Bells ]
- A flip phone? - Yeah. Latest model.
Just open it. Just answer it.
They will tell you exactly who I am.
Wh--why did you do that?
I'm not letting you get in touch with your accomplices.
Although, you did just have service.
Yes, because it's the latest model!
What?
I can't even get on my cell phone.
How am I supposed to get on the news?
The news. The news. Oh. Oh, that is gonna work.
A story only I can tell.
Wait. Where are you going?
Avery?
Broke in, 11:05 or so...
- What are you doing? - Claims to be the real Santa.
Terrible liar, possibly delusional.
Delusional?
Nancy's gonna have to take notice
when I'm the one that's caught the Santa Crook.
I am not the Santa Crook. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
I can see the look on my dad's face right now.
Uh...
Are you okay?
I don't know.
I'm gonna be the guy that messed it all up.
Okay.
So here's the deal, Santa Claus.
Cell towers are down because of this stupid storm,
so we are gonna go to Becca's house and return her gift.
Because you said, "Elf's honor, right?"
- Elf's honor. - Good.
And then I'm sorry about this, but clearly,
you have a lot of family issues that you need to work through
that have brought you to this point.
I'm gonna have to take you to the police station myself.
Wait. You said the police were on their way already.
You lied.
That makes two of us.
I didn't lie. I'm Santa Claus.
Sure you are. Let's go.
[music]
I do not look like that.
[music]
Really?
How'd that work out for you?
Could you help me up?
- Oh. - Jeez.
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
So what's this important thing that you have to do tomorrow?
Why don't we skip the small talk, fake Santa?
I'm just trying to be polite. It's Chris, by the way.
Well, Chris, it's just what I've worked my entire career for.
I finally get to report the news,
but instead of resting up,
I'm returning a stolen chemistry kit.
Report the news? You're an anchor,
like Sophie Ashburn?
What do you know about Sophie Ashburn?
- Well, I have a TV. - Steal that, too?
That gift is not stolen.
It is the gift that Becca asked for explicitly.
Okay. Ha. Okay. If you're really Santa,
what is the most meaningful present I've been given?
Okay, like I said, my Santa skills are kind of
waning at the moment.
[Avery] Yeah, of course they are.
Wait. Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Actually, I'm getting an image of something.
It's a diary of some kind.
Pretty close, but what teenage girl doesn't get a diary?
Well, it'll fully come to me at some point, but...
Whatever it is, I know it was great because I know for a fact
that you're a good person.
Flattery will get you nowhere.
[Chris] It's not flattery.
It's a fact coming directly to you from Santa Claus.
Why are all the hot ones crazy?
[doorbell ringing]
You know what? They're probably at midnight mass.
They go every year, so just leave it here.
Oh, no. There is a protocol. There is a protocol.
Gifts cannot be left in unprotected places,
i.e., mailboxes, curbs or stoops, so...
Oh, so you work for Amazon.
This is what I do and I take my job very seriously.
We need to go inside and tuck it underneath the tree.
I'm not doing that. I'll just bring it to Becca tomorrow.
No. No, not tomorrow. Tomorrow is Christmas and...
Avery, I truly believe this.
Good people deserve good things.
If Becca doesn't get that gift,
it would break my heart.
Uh.
Fine.
What's your plan?
- I have a special set of keys. - No chimney?
It only works when the reindeers are on the roof.
The keys are a back-up protocol.
So if you wanna look in my pocket here...
Ah.
What are you, a janitor?
Okay. Here we are. North America.
I wanna see this.
Oh, I'm sorry. You can't look. It's not how it works.
Very good.
[music]
Okay. If you'd put that back in my pocket
and pick up the gift, and we can head on inside.
[music]
I'm not gonna go in there because that's trespassing.
Well, I can't carry the gift because I am tied up,
unless you wanna untie me.
[sighs] Fine.
[music]
Technically, this is breaking and entering,
which is two years for a first-time offender.
Though I have my doubts this is your first offense.
Yes.
What are you doing?
The cravings are real.
And Becca expects there to be a bite taken out of
the cookie when she wakes up in the morning.
Mm.
I love milk.
If you could...
Oh, shoot. I'm making a mess.
If you could maybe help me. Thank you. Okay. Okay.
There you go. There you go. You're fine.
You have committed enough crimes for one night.
Okay.
And I have a 4:00 AM call time. Let's go.
Okay. Thank you. Merry Christmas.
Okay, think about this.
If you bring me in, the police might question you for hours.
You could be stuck there until noon.
Well, then I will drop you off
and tell them I'll come back later.
Wait, do you really think they're gonna let you do that?
Look, I am not letting you go, so stop trying to play me.
Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.
Halt! Dayton Alarm Co! Freeze!
Oh, oh.
Hold it right there, Santa Crook!
[music]
This is security guard tango-nine-niner
standing in front of 417 Kovar Lane, the MacGregor house.
Silent alarm was tripped. Perps are out front.
Could you?
Hi. I have been trying to call the cops all night.
I am very grateful that you're here.
I caught the Santa Crook. He broke into my house.
- You live there? - No, I live there.
- So you're not a MacGregor? - No, I'm not.
Then why were you just exiting the MacGregor house?
I can explain that.
I found him in my living room, so I tied him up
and I was taking him to the police station, but then--
You tied him up to take him to the police,
but you broke into the MacGregor house first?
Uh, I know how this looks, but, but he's the one you want.
Please, have at him.
Throwing your partner under the bus?
Is there really no honor among thieves?
- Right? - He is not my partner!
Please, I promise. I'm a victim.
He's the one you want. Take him away.
I gotta go to bed.
I don't think you'll be getting much sleep
when you're doing hard time.
Are you arresting me?
I'm an alarm company employee, ma'am.
I do not have that power.
Actually, I'm new.
I hadn't noticed.
But they did give me my own flashlight.
Good for you, Ricky.
Aw, thanks.
But, uh... [clears throat]
That's enough of that. I've requested back-up
and they should be on their way.
- Oh. - Oh. I've got it.
Cinnamon.
- It's under there. - You're really killing it.
[Ricky] It's back by the wheel.
Oh my-- What are you doing?
Saving Christmas! Are you coming?
You can't just take off in my car!
Don't you leave! You can't do that!
I'm sorry, Ricky!
No, don't move! Halt!
By the power invested in me by my bosses at Dayton Alarm Co,
I order you to halt!
Ohhh! Oh! Backup is coming!
He's eyeing my plates. Go, go, go, go, go!
Step on it!
I'm hot pursuit! They're-they're--
They're in a blue sedan, or white!
[music]
[alarm blaring]
Go! Run!
Hey!
[alarm blaring]
[breathing heavy]
[line trilling]
[phone beeps] Yeah?
[Vance] My safe has been robbed.
It was the Santa Crook.
He took everything. The flash drive, everything.
Okay. Leave it to me. Got it.
Guys, grab the police scanner.
We've got work to do.
[Chris] Okay.
How is this my life?
I just wanted to take you to the police station,
get an exclusive story, and then go back to bed
because I have to be charming and gregarious
and lovely in the morning!
I'm sorry. You? I have to be generous and merry,
and international tonight! Number one rule,
finish before sunrise,
and you're making that very difficult.
You got us into this mess!
You could've let me go an hour ago.
You could be at home in bed dreaming of sugar plums
and teleprompters.
Oh, my mom! If my mom hears about how I blew my big break,
I'm never gonna hear the end of it.
It's gonna be every Christmas.
Okay, okay, okay.
Why don't you just let me get in touch with my people?
You can go home. It'll be like we never met.
Besides, I don't even know who you are.
Ricky got my plates!
Oh.
[Man on radio] Calling all Dayton Alarm carts.
I am at the east end of Vista Road.
What?
Vista Road? That's nowhere near here.
That's because they aren't talking about us.
[Man] I repeat. All cars to Vista Road.
What?
If the Santa Crook is all the way across town,
who are you?
Do we really have to go through this again?
[radio crackles, powers down]
Great, there goes that.
What are you looking for?
My phone! I put it in my pocket.
It must've fallen out.
Okay, you know what?
If you're not the real Santa Crook,
I don't want anything to do with what this is.
- Wait, Avery! - No!
Av, Av! Av! Avery! I get-- Avery!
I need to find a phone, call the police,
and go to bed!
Avery! [grunting]
Avery! I can't-- [grunting]
Avery, wait up!
Hey! Avery, wait up!
I need some help with these. Avery, please.
Avery, it's Christmas.
Why are you following me?
Because I need you to untie these.
Also, it doesn't feel right to let you just wander around
in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't raised that way, so--
Prove it!
Prove what?
Prove that you are who you say you are.
I'm a reporter. I report facts that I can verify.
So I'd like some verification now!
I don't have to prove anything to you.
- You sure do! - I don't have to prove
anything to anybody.
Why? You should be able to prove it,
if you are who you say you are.
I can! But you don't seem very interested--
- Are you afraid? - I'm not afraid!
Are you afraid because then you're gonna be liar?
- I am not a liar! - Then show me who you are!
- Oh, wow. - What? What just happened?
I just got a flash of insight about your childhood gift.
- The pivotal one. - Mm-hmm.
No. Really. The pivotal gift.
The meaningful one you were asking about.
Every child has the potential to have a gift that
sets them on their own path. I just realized what yours was.
You were six or seven.
You were just starting to get the feel for writing.
It was Christmas morning, you were opening your gift.
You were with your mom.
It was a leather-bound journal with the inscription,
"Dig Deeper" on it.
[music]
How did you know that?
I mean, I've been trying to tell you.
[music]
[Ellis] Hey. Yeah.
Read me the plates again from the police scanner.
Someone seems very interested in your car.
That's it.
Yeah, I found the Quinn woman's car.
[Chris] Ooh.
Uh, turn around.
Just walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.
Slowly, slowly! Hide the lights! Come on, man.
- Who is that? - I don't know.
[music]
Oh, that's... That's why he didn't answer!
[Farley] We're in over our heads here, Dillon.
We have got to tell the big guy.
Understood. Good luck.
I'll leave that to you.
[Farley] You lost him, you tell him.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can't. I can't.
[Farley] What do you mean you can't?
We have a sacred duty
and those words aren't part of our job description.
This can't be his first impression of me on the job.
Okay? Can we just fix this, just us?
[Farley] Well, we're past that now.
He needs to know and you need to tell him.
[music]
[Avery] Is he going through my car?
My registration is in there. That has my address on it.
What do they want?
I don't know. Whatever he's looking for, I don't have it.
But why is he in my car? What is he looking for?
Wait, I know that guy. I mean, I don't know him,
know him, but I've seen his face before in footage.
He was the former head of security
when Vance was the mayor.
He mentioned your license plates and the police scanner.
Well, if he has a police scanner,
then he would have heard Ricky call in my plates
as belonging to the Santa Crook.
Why would he have a police scanner?
I need a phone. I need to get ahold of Talia.
I'll pick up my car tomorrow.
I need to dig into whatever this is.
Maybe they'll have one.
Oh, wait, wait. Maybe you could untie me.
I can help you figure this out.
I made it pretty clear I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not letting you do this on your own.
So what do you say? We'll do this together?
And then I'll finish my rounds.
[sighs]
Thank you.
- Ow, ow, ow. - Sorry, sorry.
I got it. I got it.
- I did a really good job. - I know you did.
Sorry.
- Hurry, he's coming. - Sorry, sorry.
Okay, go, go, take your jacket. Go, go, go!
Okay, okay, okay.
[Avery] It says the entrance is over here, come on!
[Chris] Here we go. Okay, okay.
[music]
Hello. Hey. Excuse me. Do you have a phone? Are you open?
Who dares to knock?
Your reclamation, then. [laughing]
Take heed!
Uh, we certainly are taking heed,
but is there any way you have a phone we could please use?
Yeah. Could we maybe talk to your manager?
[window slamming]
[door locks opening]
We're going in there?
Yeah.
I-I'm not afraid.
To go in there. Are you?
No, I'm not afraid. Go ahead.
- Great, here I go. - Yeah. Okay.
[music]
[laughing]
Lights!
[people cheering]
Oh, man! Ha!
Did we ever get you!
Sorry, we thought you knew what you'd walked into.
I'm Lewis Daly, director, dancer, actor extraordinaire!
Those lines, you would be Marley from A Christmas Carol !
Welcome to the home dinner theater
of the Dayton, Ohio Community Players.
You're a theater troupe.
[Lewis] An award-winning theater troupe.
We put on an immersive dinner experience of Charles Dickens'
A Christmas Carol. We've won three Tonys for it.
You've won three Tony Awards?
Three Tony's Pizzas. From the pizza shop down the street.
They give us a free pizza for every good review we get.
Speaking of which, the show just ended
and the pizza's still warm.
You're welcome to join our wrap party.
[people cheering]
Feel free to meet the players. We've got our Ebenezer Scrooge.
Bob Cratchit. And of course, Tiny T--Tiny Tim.
Poor guy. He's always typecast.
I love this outfit! Santa reimagined!
We'll definitely have to talk shop later
about who does your costumes.
- Oh, actually this-- - I'm sorry, if I may?
But do you have a phone that I can use?
The only phone is in the upstairs office
and it's for troupe members only.
Are you serious?
Well, the play is set in the Victorian era.
We can't just be letting people in with cell phones.
It would ruin the authenticity.
You're eating Tony's Pizza from present-day Ohio.
Well, I'm sorry, but it's the only phone in the building.
And it's Theater Company policy. Members only.
Then I'd like to become a member.
[Players] Oh!
Okay.
You'll just have to pass the audition.
The what?
Well, we have time tonight.
You can audition right now if you want, huh?
So, how badly do you wanna use that phone?
[music]
Are they really making me do this?
It's gonna be okay.
You may not believe in Santa, but I believe in you.
This is ridiculous. It's just a phone.
Oh, you've got this.
Just perform a monologue like they're asking.
Oh, like I have one memorized.
- Improvise one. - I can't just make one.
- I-I-I-I-- - Ah, we're waiting!
I am right by your side.
Really, I know. Just dig deep!
[Players] Monologue! Monologue!
Would you guys stop that? Could you please just stop?
- Stop doing that. - [Players] Monologue, monologue!
I said stop right now!
Oh, this has been the most insane night of my life!
I need to use your phone because I'm supposed to be
on air at 5:00 AM for Channel 71 News.
And if you only knew how hard I've worked for this.
I have worked days, weeks, months!
I've given it everything I've got
and if I don't make it, then...
my life is over.
And if it's because of you,
I will come back here and I will not be pleasant!
[players exclaiming, chattering]
Please.
[players applauding]
Brilliant!
Absolutely beautiful!
Just magnificent!
Perhaps the most powerful performance
I've seen in this great hall.
Thank you. So you can--you can use that as my audition, right?
But the truth is, I really-- I really am a reporter.
And I'm about to be on the news very soon.
- What about Misty McAllen? - She has laryngitis.
[fake British accent] Good. I don't like her smug face.
You have a nice face.
Is that his real accent?
- He likes to stay in character. - Right. Of course.
Thanks, Tim.
Welcome to the troupe!
Somebody get this girl a Tony!
So I can use the phone?
Ah, yes.
Oh, hi. Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, this is such an honor. Really. Oop, sorry!
Make yourself at home, newest member.
Thank you.
Okay, Talia. Help a sister out.
[line trilling]
Love the coat!
Excuse me, sir.
This is going to sound rather bizarre,
but I've been listening to you all night.
And I have this sudden urge
to tell you what I want for Christmas.
That is not bizarre at all.
So...
What do you want for Christmas?
[line trilling]
[Voicemail] It's Talia! Leave a message.
[upbeat Christmas party music plays in theater]
You beautiful, old, working computer.
How did you know that?
All those years ago, surethat your parents
couldn't afford it, and sure you doubted
that they would even be okay with it,
but despite all that, you opened the gift.
And there you found
a clipboard,
a pair of dance shoes,
and a copy of Romeo and Juliet .
Yes. That's right.
The triple threat. Directing, dancing, acting.
That was your pivotal gift. This is who you're meant to be.
[players applaud] Whoa.
[music]
Excuse me, everybody. I have to take a short break.
[music]
Hi.
How long have you been standing there?
Long enough.
How'd you do that?
Do what?
Look at them. You've brought back childhood wonder
to pretty much every member of the troupe.
Are...
Are you really who you say you are?
I haven't lied once.
How? How is this happening?
There is so much mystery in the world.
There is so much we don't understand about life,
existence and...
And love.
This is too much.
Yeah, you're telling me.
Hey, what'd you find out?
[clears throat] Actually, some information that might
help us both get back on track.
Good.
[laughs]
Okay, so I was able to connect to the
Channel 71 News Police Tracker and you were right, Santa.
Oh, you don't have to call me Santa.
That's who you are.
Well, I'm glad you get that now, but call me Chris.
Santa's my dad.
Uh, right. Yeah.
Anyway, so here's the deal.
Seventeen minutes after Ricky called in my plates,
there was a call from another residence four blocks east.
A man in a Santa suit and a female accomplice
stole a flash drive from a safe on Vista Road.
Vista Road, the real Santa Crooks.
That's right.
- So the former mayor-- - Hewitt Vance.
Hewitt Vance. That's what he's sending this guy looking for?
- A flash drive? - Exactly.
And if the police think that my car belongs to
the real Santa Crook, finding the flash drive
and returning it, I can clear my name
and get to the bottom of this.
All while getting you on the air by 5:00 AM
and having me deliver half the world their gifts by 6:00.
Easy-peasy.
Okay, so that gives us... Four and a half hours.
[clears throat]
Uh, guys.
I think you should come and look at this.
[Bink] Despite an exhaustive manhunt involving several
law enforcement officers,
these fugitives are still at large.
This artist's rendering of the Santa Crook
and his accomplice have been provided by a local
security company along with license plates 9-9-9--
[Avery] I can't believe I'm a breaking news story at 1:00 AM.
Is my nose really that pronounced?
No. You have a cute nose.
Ahem.
Um, would you believe that this is just a classic case
of mistaken identity?
[music]
We don't judge here.
And if anyone knows about mistaken identity,
it's me.
As an actor, I can't even tell you how many times
I've been mistaken for Leo.
DiCaprio?
No. DiGennaro from Tony's Pizza. He's the delivery guy.
Folks, this is a wrap party, so let's have some fun!
[people cheering]
[music]
[line trilling]
Yeah. Yeah, I may have found them.
I'll get back to you.
[music]
I've called every cab company in the area
and not a single one is picking up.
We need some way to track down the real thieves
and find that flash drive.
A couple of Kringle Coolers on the house.
I found some stale chocolate chip cookies.
Oh, wow! Thank you, Tiny!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What about your team?
I mean, you guys have a pretty famous method of transportation
that may come in handy.
You're talking about the sleigh.
- Yeah. - I tried calling them.
They didn't pick up.
They probably didn't recognize the number.
Maybe they'll call back?
[phone ringing]
- Speak of the devil. - Oh, I would never.
[phone ringing]
I just got an idea.
Dayton, Ohio Community Players.
[clears throat]
It's for you.
Hello? Oh, Dillon. Yes, I can explain.
No, no. No, no, no, no. I do not wanna talk to--
- [Santa] Christopher? - Hey, Dad.
[Santa] Dillon tells me that things have been rocky.
Yeah, no. We got off to a bumpy start.
I'm definitely gonna finish. Yes. Yeah.
[Santa] I'm not so sure based on what I'm hearing.
No, I-I am. I'm owning it. I-I--
[Santa] Perhaps it's best I take over your post.
No, no, no, you do not need to come clean it up.
[Santa] This is your last chance before I come down there myself.
- Dad, please do not come here. - [Santa] Get back to work!
Dad. Dad. Dad?
[music]
[knocks on door]
Hey. Are you okay?
Yeah. Well...
I don't know.
I mean, I-I think so.
You wanna talk about it?
No. I'm okay, really.
So what's all this?
Oh, I mapped the 911 calls from the past few nights.
And it turns out that Santa Crook
stayed in the same general area. They're tract houses,
so I pulled up the development sites.
And every house hit was the same model.
Maybe he's not done for the night.
Wow. I'm impressed.
You got all that information from the
Channel 71 Police Tracker?
Well, I admit. I filled in a few blanks myself.
- Huh. - Okay. Let's go.
Yeah.
So we need to find the Santa Crooks and
that flash drive before Vance and the cops find you.
Look, I appreciate all of your help with this,
but you have your own massive duties.
You should get back to them.
No. I'm not going to leave you until I know for a fact
that you are safe.
Also, um, well, I can't explain it,
but before I met you,
I was already having a pretty rocky night.
Rebecca MacGregor was not the first gift I misplaced.
But ever since I started working with you,
I'm in the zone.
I feel more like Santa than ever.
You sayin' I'm your secret weapon?
Well, I'm not, not saying that.
Maybe...
this is meant to be.
Maybe I'm supposed to help you.
You have been helping me. And maybe I can help you, too.
[music]
Merry Christmas, theater patron, but unfortunately, we wrapped.
It's a private party.
I love parties.
I was wondering if you've seen some people.
A young lady about 5'5" was seen with--
No!
There's no one like that here!
Okay. Well, you won't mind if I take a look around.
I mind. We all mind.
- Well, uh, if you should see-- - We won't.
Got it. Okay.
Bah, humbug!
[music]
Well, gotta leave sometime.
[music]
He's not budging.
[Avery] So, what? We're just supposed to sit here all night?
I mean, that's perfect.
I miss my broadcast. You don't finish your rounds,
and that's provided we even stay alive.
Merry Christmas to us.
Hey now, don't panic.
We have a saying in the theater,
the show must go on.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
We have a saying up north.
Sleigh bells and whistles,
candy cane and thistles.
[chuckles] Right?
Lewis, do you have-- do you have any extra wigs?
[laughs]
Oh, honey.
What are you thinking?
Hold on one second. What was that?
- Sleigh bells and... - Whistles,
candy cane and thistles.
- What does that mean? - Really, it's not clear?
Let's go, drama nerds.
They don't call us a traveling theater troupe for nothing.
Load the van!
Very Merry Christmas to you, my dear.
And to you good, sir. Ho, ho, ho.
- Quick, quick, quick. Hop in. - Thank you.
[music]
[engine starts]
- Oh, thank you. - Bye, guys.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Hey, we cannot thank you enough.
Thank you.
Oh, please. It's Christmas. This is the least I can do.
Now you go and show them what you got.
Thank you.
How great were they?
- So I guess this is it. - Yeah, I guess so.
Hey!
[muffled screams]
Wait...
[music]
You used to work for Vance when he was mayor.
Yeah. You have the wrong people.
Look, you know, I just want to make it easy for you.
Just tell us where the drive is.
We don't have it.
The people that you are looking for are still out there.
Okay.
You watch them. I'm just going to go to her house.
And if she stashed it there, I'll find it.
You're not going to find it! We don't have it!
I guess we'll see.
I'm watching both of you.
Kidnapping is a felony.
Whatever's on that drive must be crazy.
Yeah, we need to find out what it is.
We? Have you forgot about sunrise approaching?
I have plenty of time.
They mess with my secret weapon?
They're going down.
[music]
Hey, buddy.
Yeah. Good.
[Santa] Could you not have them chew right into the phone?
- Stay on task. - Right.
[Santa] I don't have to remind you what will happen
- if this night is not rectified. - Right.
[Santa] Go back to her house,
maybe he's returned.
That--that is a great idea, sir. I mean, a super idea.
Ow-ow! I just fed you.
[Santa] Do not make me have to come down there
and take care of this. I am already in my slippers.
Right. Of course, sir. I got it.
[hangs up] [line beeps]
Let's go.
- You need a hand with that? - No, I'm good.
What is this?
No, no, no, no, no!
- Hey, hey! - In you go.
Where you--
No, no, no.
[grunts]
Get in there...
[music]
[game music playing]
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.
Wow. I thought you were good at tying people up.
It's no use.
And we were so close! I could just hear everybody now,
the daughter of Sophie Ashburn chokes again.
Sophie Ashburn?
Wait. The Sophie Ashburn is your moth-- Wow!
I mean, she is a national treasure. Wow!
Yeah, I know.
Oh. Right.
I mean, I can relate.
Of course you can relate. Your dad is Santa.
Yeah.
It's not enough to just wear the boots.
You have to own the boots.
And every fear he had about handing over the reins to me
has come to fruition tonight.
Not only will half the world's kids not get their gifts,
the Santa title will be stripped from my family's lineage. Oh...
All on my very first attempt.
Chris, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have dragged you around with me all night
because I thought I needed to break some big story.
You don't need to break some big story.
You're already a journalist.
You are smart and you are eloquent.
And you're beautiful.
Thank you for saying that.
But I don't feel like those things. I feel like...
like a scared little kid in the shadow of my mom.
Scared little kid? No.
I mean, would a scared little kid have tried to bring in
a known thief to the police?
Would a scared little kid have stood up to
a highly skilled private security guard?
Would a scared little kid have the courage to
stand on the stage in front of a roomful of people
and deliver a perfect monologue?
You, Avery Quinn, are not a scared little kid.
Thank you.
We may not be our parents,
but we can be great in our own way.
[music]
Okay. Open, sesame!
That's not very polite!
We got him!
I can feel the calluses on your hands!
We caught the Santa Crook!
Easy! Suit's a rental, pal!
All right!
[music]
Well...no, no, no, no. Nope.
Uh, what is this?
No, no, no, no, no, no. No!
What's going on? Who are--
Put me through.
Don't move.
I don't know what they're into, I'm not--
- Quiet! - Okay!
[Woman] Honey, shh.
What about you? Where'd you get your suit from, huh?
My mom made it.
Where'd you get yours?
[music]
Okay, drive, where are you?
[music]
Come on!
Ugh!
[phone ringing] Yeah, boss?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're definitely searching for that drive.
I get why the mistaken identity. Those two look exactly like us.
[Avery] Sure, when they're facing that direction.
Oh, yes. Help me.
- Got it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So...
Why'd they drag you two in here?
I don't know. You know...
They mentioned something about a drive?
What about you?
We could think of a reason or two.
Hey, are you the Fake Santa Crook?
I'm a big fan of vigilante justice.
And he has been all over the news.
They talk about him an awful lot, don't they?
- It is you. Wow. - Yeah.
And just him, like I'm barely here, huh?
- Here we go. - Oh please.
It's all good to talk except for when the talk's about me?
- It begins. - Come on.
It's about us.
No, it's never about us, it's always about you.
- No, it's not. - Yes, it is!
And if we were the Santa Crooks--plural--
what's it to you? Huh?
Nothing. We're just, you know, curious people.
Yep.
Wait a second.
- What's changed? - Something's changed.
The weather.
Yeah, weather is changing constantly.
Snow, sleet...
- Hail. - Yeah, yeah.
Subtle, but different.
Do you have a favorite snow form?
You ask a lot of questions.
- Curious people. - Curiosity. Yeah.
Like, what do you think is on that drive?
We don't know what's on it. And we don't really care.
We weren't supposed to look.
Did you know that there would be a drive?
Did somebody put you up to this?
We're not saying anything without a lawyer.
We gotta figure a way out of here.
They're still expecting us at the drop at 3AM!
I don't even know the address. I wrote it on a Post-it,
stuck it on the flash drive, and it's in the bag.
What do you want me to do? Walk right in there and grab it?
And this is why--
- That's what we have to do. - Yeah.
[Crook] I'm a little tied up at the moment, honey.
He's got it.
- Yeah, he has it. - Yeah, yeah.
We should take a run for it.
Max! I found the flash drive!
I gotta call the boss.
Let's go! Let's just go! Let's just go!
[music]
Okay, go! Go, go, go!
Don't you dare! Don't you dare! Get back here!
- Could you help us out-- - You get back here!
- Hey! - Come on!
[Crook] You're the worst Santa ever!
- You get it? - Yes!
We have to go see who's waiting for the drop.
You are a gutsy lady, Avery Quinn.
Maybe I can break this, clear my name
and then we can save Christmas!
- Okay. - Okay.
Wait. Where are you going?
Okay, that way, that way, that way.
I don't know where we are, at all.
I don't know either.
[phone buzzing]
Yeah?
You got it. Oh, nice work.
Okay, I'll be right there.
I'll let the big guy know that it's been recovered.
[windchimes clinking]
[sighs]
Merry Christmas to me.
[music]
Go, go, go!
Go, go!
[music]
Seriously? Seriously?
I leave for five minutes and the drive's gone.
What happened?
I-I-I don't know, we just turned our back for a second.
They were gone. I don't know.
I checked out back. They're not there. I don't know.
They're gone.
- Who are these two? - Chris! Chris!
You know what? Never mind. Spread out. Get me that drive.
Now! Now!
Look, boss, I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry.
Look, we'll find them. We'll find them.
[laughs]
Come on!
They're so bad at tying people.
Ow, jeez!
[music]
Oh, there's no taxis. It's Christmas Eve, it makes sense.
Neither of us have phones. Sorry about that, by the way.
Ah, that's okay. But I do need to get in touch with my people.
Let them know that I haven't abandoned my duties.
Hey. Hey, Chris.
The lights are on. They'll have a phone.
We can call two taxis,
one to get me to the corner of 14 and Chestnut by 3AM
to see who's waiting for the drive
and then one to take you to go meet your team.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no. I'm not going to let you just wait on
some random street corner at 3AM.
Uh, well, how much time do we have?
It's 2:43.
Okay, We can totally make this.
You can finish your-- your rounds.
And I can break whatever this is wide open
on local television.
- Okay. - Okay.
Oh! Come here, come on.
[music]
Okay, come on. Let's go. Let's go.
[music]
Right.
A taxi! Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey. Hey, hey! - Hey! No!
[music]
- Oh, oh. Go, go, go. - Seriously?
Really don't wanna give up, do they. Is it open?
No.
Come on, one of these has to be open.
[music]
Oh, hey. This one's open. Go, go, go, go, go.
- Take your coat down. - What?
It's too obvious.
Okay.
- Trust me. - What?
[music]
[whistles]
Oh! Merry Christmas! [chuckles]
Hey, come on! Let's go.
[music]
Wow, I uh...
Uh yeah. You know, they were looking for us. Not a couple.
Yeah, decoy.
But it was...
It was...s-smart.
[gasps]
- Oh! - Oh!
- Oh... - Oh, he has a phone...
[music]
Come on, big money face recognition, let's go.
Yes!
We are cooking with gas, he's got the app.
Sign in...
Four minutes.
Wow. You are very resourceful.
Thanks.
- Hey, Avery, your hat. - What?
Tony's Pizza!
Thanks, buddy.
We were never here.
Who is that?
Hey, fellow Santa Crook. You wanna thieve us a way home?
- Hey! This one's open. - [laughs]
Can hotwire it.
All right. Okay, here we go.
Um, can you circle the block and meet us at the top?
- [Driver] No problem. - Thank you.
Right on time. 2:59.
[Avery gasps]
Oh, this feels like we're on a stakeout.
We're on a Christmas stakeout.
I mean, I've never really been on one,
but I imagine it would feel like this.
So now what?
I need to get a closer look, come here.
Frank, we need to get home.
The kids are going to be up in a few hours,
and I'd like to get some sleep.
Me? You are always the last to leave a party.
- Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk... - Merry Christmas...
It's all starting to make sense.
First, Vance's guys are after us.
And the person waiting for that that drive is Elizabeth Mayhew,
Peter Mayhew's wife.
Wait, I don't know who that is.
Right? Of course not.
You North Polers wouldn't follow Dayton politics.
So Peter Mayhew used to work for the former mayor,
but he accused him of stealing funds
from this foundation he started
that provides Christmas for people who can't afford it.
Peter got fired, tried to sue for wrongful termination,
but lost. Nobody believes him because Vance was the mayor.
And now he's such an upstanding citizen.
So whatever's on this drive has something to do with
the conflict btween those two.
Peter insists he's seen two sets of accounting records
- for the charity. - Okay.
And if they're on there, this Peter guy ivindicated.
I mean, it kind of feels like Peter has set up a string of
robberies to make it look like some serial theft ring,
when, in fact, he's only targeting one safe,
Vance's, to get that drive.
I break this, and they're both going down.
Wow.
Wow, Avery, that's, that's really smart.
- That's very impressive. - If I'm right.
Well, I'm definitely rooting for you.
So at least one of us will have a successful evening.
Hey, there's still time.
Yeah.
- Okay, go. Let's go. - Yeah.
Here.
- Go, go, go. - Okay.
[siren chirping]
Aw, come on, man. Not now.
- Not now. - No, we got this. It's fine.
It's fine, we can--
[indistinct radio chatter]
You're sweating right now, profusely. Wipe or something.
We'll just be cool.
We'll be cool, take a big breath.
- Step out of the car, please. - Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Stay cool, stay cool.
There a problem, Sarge--uh, Officer?
There a problem?
This car was reported stolen this evening.
Hands up, both of you.
This is Billings,
I need backup at the corner of Alvarado and Fourth.
I think I got the Santa Crook, over.
Santa Crooks, plural.
Both of us.
[music]
Thanks, Carl. Five stars.
Okay.
I need to get my computer. I need to write it up.
I need to send it to Nancy.
We have plenty of time. We can still get back on track.
You can still have all your deliveries done, it will be no--
Oh! That's what happened to my phone.
It still works.
- I can call Dillon-- - Have him meet you here.
- Great. - Yes!
Chris.
Okay, all right. Wait back here.
[music]
[Chris] All right, I understand. Thanks, Dillon.
Oh wow. Look at this place. Avery, I am so sorry.
I'll cry about it tomorrow.
Right now, I just need to see if this works.
So Dillon and my dad are coming.
Santa's coming?
That is not good news.
Right. Sorry. Just tell him it's all my fault.
That's not a lie.
I tied you up. I'm the one that ruined Christmas.
There are rules to my job, and I have broken most of them.
But none of the ones that really count.
I mean, you have been nothing but kind and, and generous
and caring. I mean, the way you've helped me
and how you inspired that entire acting troupe,
it all came so naturally. You are
amazing.
So if you need me to tell your dad that you are 100%
owning those boots, I will.
Thank you.
Tell me what now?
Oh, hello, Avery.
Hi.
Please, elucidate me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This job is your destiny.
He cannot take that away from you.
Dad, you didn't need to come here tonight.
Evidently, I did.
Look, I know I messed up, and I know that you keep telling me
that I have to make it my own and that I'm not fully in it.
But tonight...
Tonight you should have seen me.
Oh, when you went AWOL?
Apparently you were fraternizing with thespians.
Okay. I wasn't perfect at every moment,
but I was exactly where I needed to be.
And I will get the job done before sunrise. I promise.
Dad, all night I was struggling to
connect,
to find my skills,
to remember people's pivotal gifts.
But then I remembered something.
I remember the gift that you gave me all those years ago.
I was four years old and it was just...
- It was just a small bear. - [chuckles]
But when I held that bear, I felt loved.
I felt seen. That gift, that gift--
Your pivotal gift.
That gift made me realize that this is who I am supposed to be.
That want to give people that exact same feeling.
That's what I call
owning your boots.
You're not mad?
Oh, I'm furious.
With myself.
I was too hard on you.
I should have known that you had it in you all along.
Now, go on. You have a job to do.
[music]
Proud of you, Son.
Thanks, Dad.
[phone buzzing]
Yeah?
[Vance] Well?
We haven't been able to find her yet.
[Vance] Clearly I can't trust you to handle things.
I'm sorry, sir. She got away.
[Vance] She has to go home some time.
I'm heading to her place now. She'll give me that drive.
You got it.
I was right, there are two sets of accounting records
for the charity.
Former mayor has been a very naughty boy this year.
I wouldn't say I've been naughty.
But my boys tell me you have.
[music]
I've done a lot of good, actually.
I bring Christmas joy
to people who otherwise wouldn't get the chance to celebrate.
Well, that's a bunch of malarkey.
Yeah. I don't really understand how a $45,000 office renovation
or trips on private jets or a Ferrari
bring much joy to those less fortunate.
Peter Mayhew was right about you.
You don't have the whole story.
Oh, but I do, Hewie Vance.
You're the same Hewie Vance who grew up in government housing,
You struggled to overcome parents weren't quite fit
for the role and built a life yourself,
using your sheer will and the gift of your intellect.
But you, Hewie, you let the troubles of your past
infect your soul with greed.
So, yes, we do have the whole story.
Including the ending right here.
Listen, I don't know what you got going on here,
but I'm a reasonable man.
I'm also a very powerful one.
Give me the thumb drive and the laptop
and we can all just carry on.
I'm not messing around.
Easy.
Fine. Take it.
See, you're a smart one.
I already sent the files to the station,
so if anything happens to me or anyone else here,
they'll know who to look for.
- Well done, young lady. - Thanks, Santa.
Oh, and Hewie? I think that we should mention
that you entering here unannounced
you've officially trespassed private property.
[sirens wailing in distance]
Freeze Hewie!
All right, boys. Book 'em!
I never voted for you anyways.
Wait! What time is it?
Uh, 4:46.
Okay, that's just over an hour till sunrise
and I'm supposed to be on the air in 14 minutes!
It's okay.
We'll head out the back door.
Dad, Dillon, we're giving Avery a ride.
What?
There's no way she would miss this. Something is wrong!
Coffee's up!
- Talia. - Yeah?
- Can you read? - Of course.
If Avery doesn't make it in, you're going on.
No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
Wardrobe! Anybody. I need a blazer for Talia, now!
No blazer! No, no, no.
Blazer! Blazer!
Get my email in front of Nancy
and have the graphics team start working on it.
This is real.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
- Your chariot awaits. - [laughs]
Oh, six minutes! We're never going to make it.
Not to worry.
This vehicle functions outside of linear time and space.
We'll get you there on time.
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
You're gonna be fine.
Pretend they're all in their underwear.
All three million of them?
I have faith in you, Talia.
Okay. [chuckles]
It's from Avery.
Wait, is this real?
It's three minutes to air, Avery, where are you?
Here, read that. This story's gonna be huge.
Nancy... No, Nancy.
Whoa! Look at me. I'm a mess.
I can't-- I can't do this at the best of times.
There's no way I'm gonna be a--thank you--
able to do this rushed.
You can do this. I believe in you.
Avery, you got this.
So do you. You have an hour. Go, go, go.
The children of the Western Hemisphere are waiting.
Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
Sorry. Sorry. I'm here. I'm here.
Whoop, sorry! I'll get that later.
I'm here. Oh, yes!
[music]
Is everybody using everything today?
[Woman] And we're on in five, four...
Sorry.
[Woman] ...three, two...
Good morning, Dayton, and Merry Christmas.
I'm Avery Quinn, in for Misty McAllen.
In breaking news, former mayor Hewitt Vance
has been a very naughty boy this Christmas.
Channel 71 has learned exclusively
that previous allegations made by Peter Mayhew
are, in fact, true.
Channel 71 learned that the string of robberies
was actually an elaborate plan concocted by Peter Mayhew
to recover the evidence.
That's my girl.
I could have done this. [sneezes]
[Avery] It seems both men are in for an unwelcome gift
this Christmas.
I'd say trespassing is the least of your worries.
And that concludes the story of the Santa Crooks,
the philanthropist
and a wild ride of mistaken identity
which included yours truly.
And coming up after the break,
Beyoncé sings for the troops this holiday season.
Channel 71 has the story.
Stay tuned.
[joyful laughter] [applause]
Oh! So proud of you. You did it!
[sighs]
Yes!
[laughs]
Wow. Look at you,
What are you doing here?
You're a mess.
A beautiful, wonderful mess.
Yes, I am a mess.
But I'm a mess with a weekend anchor job,
so I don't really care.
- You got the gig? - I got the gig.
Oh, Avery. Congratulations!
Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.
Yes, you could have.
No, I mean, I literally would not have made it here
without you. I don't even know where my car is.
Wait, hold on. What about you? - Did you finish your rounds?
Mm-hmm. All except one gift.
- For me? - Mm-hmm.
Boots.
Yeah, all this talk of owning our boots.
I thought this would be a reminder
about how you really did.
Also, it might come in handy if you ever decide to visit me
up north.
I'd like that.
So are you Chris Kringle?
Oh no, no. Vanderschmidt.
The Kringles were a lot of Santas ago.
- Right. - Yes.
Well, Chris Vanderschmidt, that was a heck of a night.
Sure was. Crazy, unexpected.
A little dangerous.
Definitely one for the books.
I can't believe you pulled it off.
Um...did you just do that?
[music]
♪ Golden lights shimmer all round ♪
♪ Snow is fallin' at the window now ♪
♪ Candy canes and gingerbread ♪
So I know we had a pretty late night, but
how do you feel about having breakfast someplace warm?
What are you thinking?
Well,
have you ever been to Bali?
- Seriously? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, hey guys.
After you.
This is crazy.
Wait, what are we supposed to tell people
if they ask how we met?
Well, I guess we can just tell them that it was
a Christmas miracle.
Sure. Yeah. They'll totally buy that.
Merry Christmas, Avery.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
♪ It's only Christmas if it's Christmas with you ♪
[music]