[no audio]
Downloaded from YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[gong dings]
[Music]
[no audio]
Dallas was an interesting of sorts.
He was always superstitious growing up.
Everything from wearing the same underwear
for five years without washing it
to triple lacing his sneakers.
You name it, Dallas did it.
Dallas liked Chloe to put on his lipstick while he was asleep.
He believed it was bad luck to be awake while putting your lipstick on.
So everyday before going into CDR,
Chloe would inject him with 400 milligrams of some heavy sedatives.
Dallas always liked to inspire and brighten people's day.
That's why he had Chloe put bright red lipstick on him
to brighten everyone's day.
It was about the simple things in life:
Food, water, and Dallas's lipstick.
Okay, guys. So, yeah. You know how I've been saying, you know,
- I live in Fester Hopperfoot's old house. - Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I found his treasure map at the bottom of the attic.
At the bottom of the attic?
The bottom of the attic.
That makes sense.
Okay, so this-so this is okay. Okay.
So, this is the treasure map to Fester Hopperfoot's gold.
Uh huh.
X marks the spot not Y. It's gold. Well, there's both X and Y on there.
Wait, what? Well, Y, no gold here.
- But there's gold here. - Correct.
- Why no gold here? - I don't know.
I, you know, it, this is Fester.
- You know Fester Hopperfoot. - Oh.
He's. Fester's a little. Yeah. Yeah. He was.
What if he's tricking us?
Oh, if. What if? It can't. Because the farm's here.
This is my house and I was a cartographer.
Remember when I got into cartography?
So, it's this is exactly the spot from my house.
- Okay. - Straight out the door?
- From right here. - Oh.
That's coffee-B Country.
It's gotta be, right? A house that Brad Pitt doesn't live in.
- I've been to that house. - There's one.
It was very dilapidated, very scary. But you know what?
There were dogs there so that was pretty cool.
Fester Hopperfoot's gold.
Fester Hopperfoot's gold,
Fester Hopperfoot's gold.
Lots of people like gold, it's really pretty.
[Music]
I'm Dallas Ryan and I want you to vote for me for your mayor.
Los Angeles is going down the crapper.
Yeah, sure some people say I'm a rageaholic and I am
but don't you want someone
that's going to rage for your rights?
And don't you want someone
that's going to rage for the injustice?
Don't you want someone that's going to rage in the cage against the system?
Don't you want someone that's going to rage against the machine,
against all of this bull? Well, that's me.
I'll rage for your rights.
I feel good. I feel I feel powerful.
I can feel this cocaine
flowing through my veins.
Now, Chloe Brewer, she says,
shooting cocaine in your veins is wrong.
She's pro-snort but I'm pro-vein.
Vein is the only way it gets done.
Yeah, she says snorting cocaine is the way to go.
It's safer. It's not.
Pro-vein is the way we're going to get it to these children.
It's the only way.
Ryan says, methamphetamines is the way to go.
Well, he's out of his mind.
Obviously, methamphetamines is the way to go, but it's too expensive.
Cocaine is cost efficient.
It won't bankrupt LA anymore than it needs to be.
Go with cocaine. Be pro-vein Vote for Dallas Ryan.
Dallas Ryan believes that our children should be shooting up cocaine.
I say we need to get back to our roots. Snorting is the way to go.
It's safer, it's more efficient
and you might even get a nose job out of it.
Chloe Brewer says, snort and I believe in that, America.
Los Angeles has a problem and that problem is Dallas Ryan,
okay? He's a rager. He rages.
We cannot have that in Los Angeles.
Not right now. Not today.
So, join me, Chloe Brewer as we snort across California.
Cocaine for us.
Hey everybody, I'm here to talk to you today about methamphetamine.
One thing you gotta do though is get a new spoon every time.
Methamphetamines really are the way to go.
We've heard about cocaine. We've heard about other ways to do things
but the one thing you gotta do though is get a new spoon every time.
Ryan believes we need to be giving our children methamphetamines.
Why?
Cocaine is right there.
It's classier. It's richer. It's for winners.
So join me, Chloe Brewer as we snort across California.
Hi, I'm Karen Overmeyer here with our undercover officer, and...
- Well. - What?
Not anymore.
Not anymore! You're-Oh, oh my God.
It's okay. Just keep going.
We're here with our officer
and we're going to be really delving into this missing Tupperware situation
that's affecting our great city.
Boy, that guy with the red stuff on his lips
sure looks like the guy with the lipstick on that's looking for the gold.
What do you know about the missing Tupperware?
Well, I know there's some sick people out there.
We've been on this case for a long time.
We've been trying to find the missing Tupperware.
It looks like this.
If you see it, please call the number above, and bring it home. Please.
This is-this is affecting everyone.
There's too many of these going out and on the campaign for Dallas Ryan,
we need these for the needles and the cocaine.
Okay, well, we're not getting political here, okay? No.
No politics.
So please bring the baby home.
- Look at it. - This is someone's child.
Look at. Look at the innocence.
We don't want any Tupperware to be left behind.
I just get so emotional about.
How's that make you feel?
Think about it.
I'm sorry. Just thinking about the Tupperware.
Just being out there.
It might be the lidless.
Hold it. Hold it.
I'm breaking down. I'm sorry. This is not professional.
But I'm breaking down right now. I'm very sad.
Life does not give you lemons. Life does not hand you lemons.
Life literally puts lemons in like a potato launcher
and fires those fucking lemons at you like 60 miles per hour.
You can't even catch those lemons. Let alone squeeze them out to make lemonade
okay? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how this works.
I need life to get its act together and start gently handing me the lemons
instead of launching them at me like I'm some fat kid in a dodge ball game
because I'm not good at this.
I can't do this. I'm stressed.
[gong dings]
Chloe, when I was a lad, I dreamt of gold.
Gold.
My mom told me I would get gold.
Oh, that's cool. This is a musical.
I used to have dreams.
Dreams.
Of sleeping on hard-plated pillow made of gold.
Gold!
I used to have dreams of eating gold plated spaghetti.
It was good. Hmm.
What did it taste like?
Boy, there sure is a lot of background noise.
It tasted like gold…
[singing]
I want gold. I want gold. I want gold. I want gold.
I want gold. I want gold. I want gold. I want gold. I want gold.
I want gold. I want gold. I want gold. I want gold.
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I gotta get my gold.
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
- I gotta get my gold. - I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
I get my gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold I gotta get my gold.
Ryan was forbidden to watch a musical as a young boy.
He had always wondered what it would be like to watch a live musical.
But was put to shame by his loved ones
if he even brought up the thought of it.
So as he watched the musical that day for the first time in his life,
he realized that everything finally made sense.
He had been running his whole life.
Running away from his problems, running away from everything.
But as he watched that musical, he realized that he didn't have to run away any longer.
For the first time in his life he had purpose, and understanding
for what it meant to be alive.
His life now had meaning and structure
and he knew he would never run away ever again
I gotta get my gold.
- I gotta get some gold. - I gotta get some mold.
On Dallas Ryan's campaign, we don't want anymore ODing.
No more deaths on cocaine.
That's why we're going to start these children young, at 10 years old.
They're going to start shooting up in schools
and on my campaign bumps for toddlers.
We're going to hand out Tupperware with needles and cocaine in it
to give to all the children.
That way, when their immunity builds up to it, there will be no more ODing.
And when World War 4 comes and they try to kill all of us
by injecting us with cocaine, the children won't die
because now they're immune to it.
We'll all be immune to it.
Vote Dallas Ryan and I'll make sure every single person gets an injection of cocaine.
At least once a day, maybe even twice.
Dallas Ryan believes we should give our children cocaine at 10 years old.
Ryan believes just out of the womb.
No, let's be goldilocks in this situation.
I say five is the perfect age to start on cocaine.
It's a go-getter.
It forms up an excitable child but not too excitable.
So join me, Chloe Brewer, at five, not ten, not one.
Five, the perfect number to start a drug.
Chloe Brewer says
she wants to have these kids start snorting cocaine at five years old.
But that's just wrong.
It's too early.
That looks like the same location they're looking for the gold.
Ryan's plan is to start these babies on methamphetamines
when they're out of the womb.
But Ryan has a plan to take over the world.
He wants to build super mutant humanoids.
See, I've been talking to scientists recently
and they say if you start kids on methamphetamines
right when they're out of the womb,
it alters their brain and their DNA
and it will turn them into super mutant humanoids.
Ryan wants to take over the world.
Vote Dallas Ryan and I
will make sure none of these super mutant humanoids ever see the light of day.
And if any do, I will slaughter every last one of them.
What we need for the future are superhumanoids.
That's the only way to go really.
Everything is getting so advanced.
The only way we're going to keep up is with superhumanoids.
The way to do that is with methamphetamines.
We can put little thingies in the stuff you cook on your spoon
and when they take them, it's just kind of in there.
One thing you gotta do though is get new spoon every time.
I believe that we should give our children a fighting chance against drug use.
So, start em off early and they'll become immune.
If you can get them doing drugs at the youngest age
then by the time they're an adult, there will be no OD.
They'll have their shit on lock and that's Chloe Brewer's Los Angeles.
Wow, that girl is running for the mayor.
She looks like that groovy girl that's wearing that RDC T-shirt.
Ryan wants to give children methamphetamine right out of the womb.
He wants to create superhumanoids, move over Elon Musk.
This isn't science fiction. This is real life.
We need cocaine in our bloods, not meth.
We don't need to be super humanoids.
We just need to be good old-fashioned cokeheads.
And that's my promise to you California.
[Music]
Halloween!
Boy, those crazy trick-or-treaters.
I just love Halloween.
I remember one time me and my father we were at a UCLA football game
when Troy Aikman used to be the quarterback.
And we got in the middle of this big fight
and these guys spilled beer all over my dad
and he was pissed
so he got shit-faced drunk.
So when we drove home that night
about every 20 miles he kept hitting into the median rail on the freeway
and at one point he fell asleep and I had to wake him up
and I was just praying that we made it home okay.
So Happy Halloween!
Halloween
I am obsessed with Halloween.
I love dressing up.
One year, me and my little cousin
dressed up as homecoming king and queen
except he was like this big and I was this big
because it was that awkward age and we drove around the street
in a convertible. A cherry red convertible
and waved to everybody and flung candy at people
and we might have accidentally hit a couple of children right in the face
with Happy Halloween.
Uh and there's always been something I wanted to tell you, Tina.
Okay.
So basically, what happened was to make a long story short
and it's actually kind of a funny story
if I think about it.
So, you know, I was a donor years ago
and the woman that I ended up marrying
who was your mom, you know, she died of course a few years ago.
Um well, I found out that actually she was one of my donor kids.
So, yeah. So...Yeah, yeah.
So, is my mom
Is my mom my...
So, you're my daughter and you're my granddaughter.
I'm gonna
Um, Okay. Um, okay.
If you think about it, it's actually kind of
- Okay. - kind of funny.
Yeah. It's...
- Right? - Yeah.
You think about it. It's...You okay?
I just feel like I'm...
You okay, sweetie?
I just don't...I feel a little sick
because it's just...a little sick.
Look, I love you no matter what. I love you.
Can't even look at you right now, grandpa.
Dad-what do I even call you?
Did you eat something? You eat something bad?
- Ugh! - You okay?
I'm fine. I just don't know what to call you now.
Granddaddy.
Daddy.
When did you find this out?
Well, it's just probably just a little while ago.
Not not too far back but.
- And you thought... - You know.
...that the best way to tell me this information was to get
an entire film crew in front of us
and then you were going to tell me that you were my daddy grandpa?
Well, I wanted it to be a special moment between us.
Gross. I'm sorry, film men.
I'm sorry. I don't want to throw up in front of all these nice guys.
Are they your kids too?
[gong dings]
Wait, is this gold?
No, that's a stick.
Wait.
Oh! Gold leaf.
No that's just a regular leaf.
- No, it's gold. - Sniff it. It's not gold.
No that's not gold.
This is a sliver of gold. It's like a little knife.
Oh no.
No, I'm sorry. That's not gold.
I can't read this.
- I can't read. - Multi pieces.
Y. This is "Y", no gold.
- "Y" no gold? - "Y" no gold? We need an X.
There's gotta be an X around here somewhere, right?
Somewhere. Here
"X"
What's that?
There, an X.
- This is gotta be it, right? - Right.
- That's an X, right? - That's an X.
This is small.
Think that's it.
As a young girl, Chloe always had big aspirations.
Her family taught her
that the most important thing in life was to get lots of gold.
For Chloe's own person
she knew that one day
her dreams and aspirations of acquiring gold would come true.
Chloe understood that one's own purposeful venture
was built on the foundation of dreams
and to have gold would be the equivalent to having the meaning of life
in the palm of your hand.
This was the first time in Chloe's life
that she was this close to fulfilling her dreams
of having her very own gold
and she felt she would do anything
to turn her dreams into a reality.
[Music]
[Cheering]
Get the gold
Get the gold, Melanie. Get the gold, Melanie. Get my gold.
Get my gold. My gold. My gold. My gold.
- Melanie, a great race today. - Thanks.
You know, you finally beat Elinore Ellegnbean.
- Now, she did. - I did.
It's true she did die at the starting line.
Now, you won the race
does it matter that you beat a corpse, or is a win a win?
You know what?
In this day and age, you just kind of gotta take the wins when you get them.
So, even though rest in peace
but I will take this win.
This is, ooh it's a good one too
because I finally beat her.
[Laughter]
Oh and we got first, this is the first, a confirmation
the first simultaneous death in history.
She had a heart attack and fell splat on the ground
and both killed her at the exact same time.
Yeah.
So, how's it feel to be here during history?
Feels great. It feels great.
I'm a little jealous that it couldn't be me because you know
first death like that's, that's a, that's a win.
So, I think there's two winners here today.
Me, mostly me, mainly me and then Elinore too
but me mostly. Thank you.
Well, we agree. I mean your fans love you.
Hi.
Now, oh, now they're asking me to ask you
we know you were cleared of Bridget's disappearance two years ago.
Do you have any thoughts or feelings on that today?
No comment.
Oh, what was that?
No comment.
I'm sorry, I haven't heard
No comment. No comment.
No comment on that. No comment.
- No, no comment on Bridget? - No comment.
No comment.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, well, there you have it folks.
Melany Mouhalihan. She won her first race.
Rest in peace, Elinore.
But mainly, buh-bye.
Melany? That's you, right?
Yeah, that. Yeah, that is I.
Yeah, you killed that lady.
Boy, that guy from the FBI
sure looks like the guy that's looking for Fester Crapperfoot's gold.
[Music]
Now Chloe Brewer says she's got a good Coke guy.
No one's got a better Coke guy than Dallas Ryan.
My Coke guy has been in the industry for over 40 years.
His references are impeccable.
Vote Dallas Ryan because I have the best Coke guy out there
and I will make sure we get the primo stuff.
Not this gut that Chloe Brewer wants to get or this underground methamphetamines
that Ryan is talking about.
No, I will get us the best stuff that is cost efficient
and that is my promise to you.
Dallas Ryan says he has the hook up.
My guy's been in the business for 40 years.
No. We need some young blood in our nose canals, okay?
My guy, fresh off the cartel.
He's got the good stuff.
So, if you want your children to have a quality high
vote for Chloe Brewer for Los Angeles mayor
and we can snort across America.
Vote for me, Ryan.
So we have Gen X. We have the baby boomers.
We have the millennials.
And now we're going to get the cocaine started on...the worms. Is that correct?
The new generation is called the worms?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
So now, we are going to get the new generation started on this cocaine.
We're going to get...the worms
started on this cocaine.
We have the baby boomers.
We have Gen X.
We have millennials, and Gen Z, but you know what?
The most important generation that has yet to come are those worms.
There they are just wiggling around.
Their minds are moldable and their noses are still pure.
We need to do something about those worms.
We need to feed them as much cocaine as possible
and that's my promise to you, Los Angeles.
Let's keep those worms, satisfied.
My plan for the worms
is to get them having and loving and getting used to cocaine fast.
So my plan of action is to sprinkle it in their breakfast cereal.
Who doesn't want to sprinkle of cocaine in their cereal in the mornings?
I sure do. Now that's a wake up call I would want to answer.
Vote for Chloe Brewer for Los Angeles mayor and you won't be disappointed.
[Music]
So for Thanksgiving one year, we went out to a restaurant.
I didn't bring my wallet.
My mom didn't bring her purse because she thought my stepdad was going to pay for it.
So lo and behold my stepdad forgets his wallet.
So he had an idea after we finished our dinner.
So he goes out the door then comes back in and yells out
"Oh, hey, there's a UFO, there's a UFO!"
and everybody comes outside to look at this UFO
and we go out the back door and we leave.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving.
I love Thanksgiving. I love how the family comes together.
You know, we put our differences aside.
We put our politics aside and it's just the one day
where we can eat this delicious, yummy food
and just really tell each and every person how much we hate them
and how stupid we think they are
and how everything they do is wrong.
We just get it out on the table.
We bring up family secrets.
It's just a beautiful thing.
[Music]
[gong dings]
[Music]
Vote "Yes" on prop 1507.
Vote "Yes" on Dallas Ryan.
See Prop 1507 says you can marry your gold.
Marrying your gold is right. There's nothing wrong with it.
Now marrying your copper and silver, that is wrong.
But marrying your gold, it's a beautiful thing.
Vote "Yes" on prop 1507.
See Ryan, he says marrying your gold is an abomination
but no marrying your copper and silver is.
It's an incestual abomination
but marrying your gold is a beautiful thing.
You should be able to do whatever you want with your gold.
You should be able to love it and kiss it, play with it, walk it.
It's 2022.
We should be able to marry whoever and whatever we want
including as many minerals as you can find;
gold, silver, copper, iron.
They can be yours.
Dallas Ryan only wants gold?
Quit living in the 1950s.
Join me, Chloe Brewer and you can marry whatever mineral you want.
Yeah. So, I've been asked about, you know, marriage of the gold and silver and copper.
I'm against it. I mean, you can look that up online.
You know I'm against it. You saw my shirt the other day.
I'm against it.
We don't want that.
It's the only way to go.
I mean, when we have superhumanoids,
they're not going to care about that anyway.
Like we're wasting time with that right now.
Let's move on.
[no audio]
And one of my first priorities when I come into office
is I'm going to put together an elite task force
to find all the missing Tupperware that has been taken and robbed
of this great city of Los Angeles.
And you will know where your hard paying tax dollar is going.
That it is going to this elite task force.
And it will be our first priority. This I vow.
There's an epidemic in this city.
The robbing of Tupperware is affecting millions of Californians across the state.
If you elect me, I will find lids for every single, Tupperware.
It will never go missing.
When you have that leftover spaghetti, you'll know exactly where to put it
and it's because of me, Chloe Brewer, you're welcome.
Tupperware. Now, those ladies back in the 50s, sixties
they knew how to sell things.
Tupperware keeps everything fresh.
If you do have gold, that's where you're going to want to put it
because stick it in, put the lid on, it's got the seal, it stays fresh.
Other things you have, stay fresh in there too.
So, Tupperware, you can hang on to.
It's not like cocaine. We want that old stuff out, but the Tupperware,
it's forever, it's forever, it's forever, it's forever,
it's forever. It's...
One thing you gotta do though is get new spoon every time.
I will make sure cocaine gets to all the schools
that all the children get the cocaine they need.
No child will be left behind.
That is my promise to you.
That also looks like the same location that they've been looking for the gold.
Vote Dallas Ryan.
This is the last request that I ask of you.
Sure some of the kids might go off on a 48 hour drinking spree
or go shoot a sketch comedy movie
but I will make sure that they all have cocaine running in their veins.
Every child will have cocaine running in their veins and it will save their life.
That is the plead I make to you.
[Music]
I'm the inventor of The Glasses Glasses.
Have you ever gotten frustrated because you can't see real good out of your glasses?
Me too.
So one day I thought, hey, I'm wearing glasses.
I can't see as good as I would like to see.
Have you ever felt that way too? Me too.
So that's why I invented the glasses glasses.
Cuz now, I can see twice as good.
Look for glasses glasses at your local Tijuana Market and at Juarez Convenience Stores.
The Glasses Glasses, you'll see twice as good.
Oh Christmas. Oh the chestnuts.
The Christmas tree, the lights.
We went up to Tahoe one year.
My brother accidentally locked the door.
My dad thought I did it and he always blamed me
so he chased me like a raging lunatic through the house
and my sister, and brother and mom were all huddled up together crying
saying please don't kill, please, don't kill Dallas, please don't kill him
and he just kept chasing me and I was screaming
and they were finally seeing, they were finally seeing
the stuff he'd always done to me.
And they were just sitting there
thinking he's going to kill us all and he finally got to me
and...Merry Christmas.
Christmas is like the most magical time of year.
I am obsessed with Christmas time.
I remember one time my great grandpa he's so silly.
He went in the kitchen and put jelly on a knife
and came out and to all the children he goes, "I did it,
I stabbed Santa Claus."
And we really believed him
because he had red jelly all over that knife and we just cried
and cried and cried because we thought Santa was dead.
Oh the holidays are so special, Merry Christmas everyone.
[Music]
Hi, I was here for the marketing job.
Oh, yeah. The when's your appointment?
It's right now.
Right like right now?
Right now, yeah.
That's what they put online, it said right away. I came in right away.
You know what? I like the initiative.
- Oh, thanks, thanks. - Yeah.
I got like a big banner.
It's got lights, everything.
Even speakers built in.
Anything you want marketed, you can start right away.
Okay.
And I'll do that for you. It's a demo.
Uh so...
Just give me an idea anything you want
and if you don't, I got a list of things on my phone.
I can email them to you.
Oh, you're prepared.
I've already set up and I already got the the corner sign on market
- Oh, that's yours? - Yeah, yeah.
- Yours? - So we can pull it up.
Anything else you want to add to it or?
I think I.
Like I said, we got the sound.
The sound
- We get spray of some smells. - Colors like...
Yeah, oh yeah. We get the full range.
You know multimillion color range.
Oh, wow! The only problem is we don't actually need you.
Oh, it's alright.
You can get rid of whoever else you got. I'm here.
I can do the first one free.
You know what? We have been looking into firing Jeremy.
So maybe...
Hey, we can write, "You're fired Jeremy" right on the sign.
- You could do that. - Yeah, and you know what?
If you want it for free, I'll move into the office
and he sees the sign.
Nobody even has to tell me he's fired.
He just sees the sign, and go.
No dirty work.
You can clear his stuff out, and I'll move right in.
It's not on me. It's on the sign.
That's right. Marketing!
- You know what? - Marketing fire.
- I think you've got it. - Oh Awesome, thanks.
- I think you're just what we need. - Thank you.
Well, I'll go get started right now.
- Get them right now. - Alright.
You're fired, Jeremy or should it be Jeremy, you're fired?
Well, actually, we could do both because he does face both roads.
- We could do. - One on each.
- There's people to know him. - Love it.
- They can see you're fired, Jeremy. - Love it.
I want everyone to know Jeremy is fired.
- Sounds good. - Cheers! Fuck that guy.
- Jeremy's fired. - Done.
Sounds good.
I don't hear voices. You hear voices. You're crazy.
It's you, Steve. Not me.
I don't care what the judge says.
Next time you try to run me over, you're fucking dead, man.
I'm going to come to your house because I'm not gonna leave.
I'm gonna be stalking you.
Anyway.
[Music]
Hi, I'm Karen Overmeyer and we've got a lot going on today in Los Angeles.
The sun is shining.
The clouds are clouding.
Oh, excuse me ma'am.
Um, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry to bother you.
Oh, oh, sorry.
We're...
Um, you know, I'm new in town and little lost.
Do you happen to know where the good party is?
Um, I did hear of a rager down on fifth. I'm not sure.
- Excuse me. - Actually I need a children's park.
Where's the children's park at?
This is crazy but where did you get this Tupperware.
So, I'm actually part of the Dallas Ryan campaign
and it's-it's bumps for toddlers
and we're handing these Tupperware out
We're handing the Tupperware out with needles and cocaine in it
to all the kids at the park.
Um, I don't know if that's
I'm really not on Dallas's side on that so.
My name's Todd.
I'm actually for the superhumanoids.
So I lean towards the meth. I don't...
Well, that's...
Is there meth in there?
- No, it's cocaine. - Then I can't help you.
Hey, did you know Todd spelled backwards is ddot?
Okay. So, I'm going to go find the park and you know.
Good luck with that.
It's, you know, it's a long story how I got here.
Did you know long spelled backwards is gnol?
I didn't. I didn't know that.
Okay. Thank you. Thank you.
I like to play with myself.
[Music]
We're here today exploring the streets of downtown LA.
This is one of the cleaner streets.
As you can see, I don't see any needles around, and there's barely any homeless.
So, this is one of our cleaner, safer streets.
Hopefully, no one will bother me on this time around
but I highly doubt that because I can feel someone standing there.
What?
Hi.
Hi, do you have something to say or you just.
Hi.
We're here in LA acting away.
Waiting for those parts.
Parts? Car parts?
No, my acting part.
You're going to be waiting a long time, I'm sure.
Well, no, I just went to the Pints for Parts
and they got the camera on me already.
Pints for Parts?
Yeah. It's the parts of the camera audience, actors on-on screen
and we're giving the pints of blood for that.
Sir, how many pints of blood did you give?
Do you need a cookie? Do you need to sit down?
Oh no, I'm standing. I'm good.
I am ready for action. Camera action.
This...
I just gave my blood and the cameras right here so.
This is actually a news camera so.
- Oh the news? - Unfortunately, yeah.
I just gave my blood and it's like you definitely feeling it here.
Not like these um, the cocaineers or the the other ones.
The metha thingies.
I'm on the meth side of it.
Oh, yeah but this is like the, you're lighter like if you need to lose weight
they take it right out of you and like you feel strange.
Wait, you can lose weight?
Yeah, you can take the pints of your stuff out, the blood out.
And where is this charity?
This camera does add 10 pounds.
So, where exactly, where can I?
It's right back there and then, you just like let them...
Just sign in or? Is it safe?
Who are these people? Are they affiliated in any way?
I don't know if there is a sign-in.
But like you just go in and just tell them the stuff.
And then they say they're going to get you a part and they did.
I walked out and I'm on camera.
I'm on the news.
Well, you heard it here first folks.
Pints for Parts. It really works.
Hi, kids. Jackson Powell here, 80s superstar.
Let me show you my crib. Come on.
So, this is where I stay right now. This is my home right here.
And as you can see, it's the the nice linen pillow I have.
It's beautiful and right here, this is my-this is my sleeping area.
Got a lot of square footage property. So, very nice.
Pillow, bed, toilet, all in one.
Who can ask for anything more?
Pretty, pretty healthy for you.
This is my vegetables.
You gotta make sure you eat your four food groups.
So, this is vegetables.
And then you got fruit, so I eat my fruit
and then you always make sure you get your-got to always make sure you get your bark
You gotta get your bark because it's got good nutrients and vitamins minerals
all that good stuff.
This is all my land right here.
I stay here-over there.
That's the horse stable.
And-and then from there.
Always have to end the day with dessert.
Over here, this is where I do, this is where I do laundry.
So, as you could see, just finishing washing a towel here.
This is my towel. I took a bath the other day.
It rained, so I took a shower too.
[gong dings]
Alright, I found the gold.
Alright.
Oh, you have have have have found
you know they should have called him Fester Stutter Mouth.
I know.
That okay you have have have have found
that the true gold in life is friendship.
- Uh of course. Of course. - Wow, Cool.
Where's the gold?
Awesome. Great.
But don't you see this this brought us together.
The love and the bond of true friendship.
Friendship.
Nothing can beat it.
- Well gold. - Yeah. - Gold. Gold can beat true friendship.
But we're friends getting the gold.
Well I agree with that. Yeah I agree if we got it together.
The gold. Oh shoot. Well, you know.
Oh wait. There is something else. Wait. There's something else right here.
Okay, so. Okay, so.
Oh there is another letter. There is in fact, there is in fact real very very real gold. Alright.
- Alright. - Good. Where is it?
Okay. So, whoever is the last one alive
whoever is the last one alive will get
whoever's the last one alive will get my gold handed
handed to them by me personally, Fester Hopperfoot.
Okay.
The gold, the gold will be in Tupperware.
Well, I mean, a good thing that we're that
we're never going to get that gold because
our friendship is so important that we will never get the gold
because we would never harm each other.
[Music]
Yeah. I got the gold. The gold. The gold. Yeah.
Get my gold.
My gold.
Get the gold.
- Get the gold. - The gold.
Get it, get the gold.
My gold. My gold.
Get my gold.
Get the gold. Get the gold.
The gold.
Get my gold.
Get it. Get my gold.
Get my gold.
My gold.
Get the gold.
I need gold. Get it. Get the gold.
Get the gold.
Yeah. I got the gold.
Get my gold.
My gold.
Get my gold.
Get my gold. Get my gold.
[Music]
Our friendship is so important that we will never get the gold
because we would never harm each other.
[Music]
Boy, the agent from the FBI sure looks like that guy that's looking for Lester.
Was it Lester?
Boy that agent from the FBI sure looks like that guy that's looking for Lester, Lester.
Boy that agent from the FBI sure looks like the guy that's looking for
Fester's Crapperfoot's gold.
I keep saying Lester, why couldn't you name him, Lester?
Boy that agent from the FBI sure looks like the guy that's looking for the
That guy from the FBI sure looks like that fellow that's looking
for Fester Crafter shoots gold.
Guy's working for the FBI
sure looks like that guy that's looking for gold that Fester Crapperfoot guy
That guy who's worked for the FBI looks like that fester crap crap shoot.
Wow, that girl who's running for the mayor, sure looks like that groovy chick
who's running.
It's okay.
Okay.
Lots of people like gold. It's really pretty.
- That's good and then. - My cheeks hurt from smiling.
I hope that's the made-up one.
It's freezing. I better take off this jacket.
Much better.
I hope that guy finds a charger but also I'm a little scared.
Random men coming up.
I'm automatically...
- Phrase, when life hands you lemons - tell that lemon to go.
Tell that lemon to go fuck itself.
Of true friendship.
- Friendship. - Nothing-nothing can beat it.
- Well, gold. - Yeah.
That's funny, man, you had a cool grandpa.
Yeah he was scary.
Yeah.
Alright. So, the fake one is the helicopter.
Come on, we're doing something.
But I was trying to be nice. Those are karma points.
Karma points.
Cuz I was nice to somebody, a stranger.
You hear that universe?
Better fucking work.
It's, well I almost killed him you know when I was younger so.
Anyway we'll delete that.
And he almost killed you.
I'm getting that money.
So that was rehearsal, right?
We'll record this next one.
What's that?
That was a joke. Please tell me that was a joke.
Our musical part here.
So now, alright you...
And I promise you my number one
It will be our first priority. This I vow.
Easy to carry.
- They were able to gather them up. - Excuse me, sorry.
- Okay, that's good. That's good. - Goddammit
I hope there's meth in there.
The other ones, the metha thingies.
- Now, I'm on the meth side, okay? - Oh, yeah.
I'm Karen Overmeyer, reporting for Los Angeles News.
- Start over one more time. - Just kidding.
I can feel this cocaine flowing through my veins.
Okay, now.
Keep rolling. Keep rolling.
What do I do with the paper?
- Good still bro. - Uh-Huh.
- Okay. - I can see your hands.
Okay. Good. Good. Good.
You will know that your hard paying tax dollar
It's why we're going to start on Dallas Ryan's Cocaine,
on Dallas Ryan, on Dallas
Ever see the light of day.
And if any do, I will slaughter every last one of them.
[Laughter]
Okay.
[Laughter]
Maybe I better take off my pants too.
All the people.
Oh, am I supposed to go?
Yeah.
It's richer. It's for winners.
So join me, Chloe Brewer, as we snort across California.
Okay that was good and then, that's good. Okay.
Go, so pretty. So pretty.
Oh my gosh.
Just kidding. We're not getting paid for Santa.
I don't know what's going on, what are we excited?
Gonna be in it.
How did it taste?
I just want to be a little british child.
How did it taste?
And then you're going to be like.
The lipstick too?
I'm confused.
- Just the gold. - Just the gold, okay.
- And then and then we're going to go. - Not COVID
I gotta get my gold. I gotta get my gold.
[Laughter]
My gold. I gotta get my gold. I gotta get the gold.
I gotta get some mold.
It's still a little, I don't know what happened. It was looking better.
Now, I want to do Coke.
Just kidding, just kidding, never done that.
- A superhuman race. - Superhumanoids.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Wait, what am I saying again?
[Laughter]
Do I want them bumping?
Sprinkle it in their breakfast cereal.
Who doesn't want a little bit?
Hey, everybody, I'm here to talk to you today about methamphetamines
or however you say it.
The best
Talk about the-the methamphetamines.
Alright. Wait, how do you take those?
I think in a spoon, right?
Let me call my cousin really quick.
Megan.
No, Melany.
What, who's Megan?
Melany?
Damn.
What do you know?
The officer.
Going out, and on the campaign for Dallas Ryan
we need these for the needles and the cocaine.
Okay well we're not getting political here. Okay.
No politics.
I'm sorry.
Just thinking about the Tupperware.
Just being out there.
It might be lidless.
Hold it. Hold it.
I'm breaking down. I'm sorry. This is not professional.
But I'm breaking down right now. I'm very sad.
And the cat is like their mascot of the museum.
So he was just like "hey everybody I'm here."
And I was like I'm petting you.
If you think about it, it's actually kind of.
- Okay. - kind of funny.
Yeah. It's...
- Right? - Yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
- Granddaddy. - Daddy?
Nice guys. Are they your kids too?
To me and I was screaming and they were finally seeing
they were finally seeing the stuff he'd always done to me
and and they were just sitting there thinking he's going to kill us all
and he finally got to me and merry Christmas.
Please honk for that one.
It is the plead I make to you.
Vote yes on Dallas
I love it. I'm just like yes cocaine.
Why? Who's telling you I'm angry?
Is it Steve?
Is it Sarah?