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[applause]

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00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,480
[man] Please give it up for
the man you came to watch.

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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It's me, Dr. Jason Leong!

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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-[loud cheering]
-[electronic music playing]

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Wow, all right.

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Yes, yes.

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Yes, yes,

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I still do my own intros.

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[crowd chuckles]

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I have a Netflix special,

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but still no money
to hire someone to do that for me.

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-That's right.
-[laughter]

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You know, it's nice to be in Singapore,
and I mean that genuinely, okay?

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It's not a hacky showbiz thing to say,
"It's nice to be here." No.

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I love being in Singapore, okay?

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Because I come from Selangor. Okay?

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Anybody here from Selangor?
Give me a cheer, Selangor people?

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00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,480
-[cheering]
-[Jason] Yeah?

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Now, Selangor is an amazing place, okay?

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Selangor is the only place
in the whole world

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where you can have
major flooding everywhere…

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[laughter]

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…and at the same time, no water supply.

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[laughter]

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It's amazing, okay?

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Inside no water, outside too much water.
I don't know how.

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[laughter]

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You can die of thirst in a flood
in Selangor.

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Absolutely amazing, you know? Amazing.

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But, yes, Malaysia has gone through
a lot of shit right now, okay?

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All the Malaysians,
give me a cheer, Malaysians?

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-[loud cheering]
-[Jason] Yeah?

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Malaysia is going through
a lot of shit right now, okay?

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So much so that Malaysians are beginning
to look to stand-up comedians

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for truth and clarity
about the state of the nation.

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[laughter]

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I'm not making this up, okay?

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Every time a politician says
something stupid in Malaysia,

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Malaysians will go on social media
and say,

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"Oh my God, Jason,
how you gonna make money as a comedian?

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Our politicians are funnier
than comedians!"

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[laughter]

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"How are you going to make money?

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They are so much funnier than you, Jason.

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Our politicians are funnier
than comedians."

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And I hate that comparison, okay?

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Stop comparing comedians to politicians.
We are very different, okay?

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Comedians like me,
we think before we speak.

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[laughter]

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Different.

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[cheering, applause]

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It's true!

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We comedians, we work really hard, okay?

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Comedians like me, we have punchlines.

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Malaysian politicians
have a line of people

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waiting to punch them.
It's very different.

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[laughter, applause]

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But, yes, Malaysia is going through
a lot of shit.

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A lot of racism, a lot of corruption.

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Our future never looked so bleak.
But don't despair.

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Do not be afraid, my fellow Malaysians.

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Because soon, Malaysia will have

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the world's second-tallest tower!

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That's right!

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Yes. That will solve all our problems.

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[laughter]

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I didn't know that Malaysia's
biggest problem was a lack of towers.

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[laughter]

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And the… This is true, right?

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The architects of the tower say
that they modeled the tower

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after the iconic photo
of Tunku Abdul Rahman,

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our founding father's famous pose,
when he posed like this,

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when he declared
the independence of Malaya, right?

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So, they modeled the tower
after this, okay?

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But if you look really closely
at the tower,

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it's not modeled
after Tunku Abdul Rahman's famous pose.

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It's modeled after Malaysian politicians

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giving Malaysia the middle finger.

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[laughter]

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Before I go on with the show,
I just wanna say

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at the bottom of my heart,
sincerely and genuinely,

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thanks to each and every one of you
for doing your duty,

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for doing the responsible thing
and getting vaccinated, all right?

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Because in the deepest, darkest depths
of the pandemic,

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I wasn't sure that one day,
stand-up comedy could come back,

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much less touring around the world
doing comedy, live comedy, right?

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So, thanks to all of you,
we get to do this again.

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Singapore has reopened,
live events have reopened

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and I get to do this, okay?

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So, thank you so much, okay?

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[applause]

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This is the most important thing
in my life, okay?

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I love this the most.

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And by this, I mean your money.

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[laughter]

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Mmm!

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Singapore dollars.

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Mmm! [smooching sounds]

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[Jason laughs]

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Now, this year, I'm 37 years old, okay?

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Now, I just wanna check, people my age,
35 and above, give me a cheer?

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Thirty-five and above?

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[tired cheering]

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Can you tell how tired they sound?

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[laughter]

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This guy in the front row, right?
Thirty-five and above? "Yay."

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The shoulder can't even go up,
I understand.

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Shoulder problem, I understand.
I understand.

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I also got shoulder problem, I understand.

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I'm not making fun of you, I know.
Too hard, too hard. I understand, okay?

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And now, guys my age, right, 35 and above,

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we are always reminded
of our impending mortality

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when someone younger,

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especially if it's a younger,
prettier girl,

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calls us the U word.

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All right, what's the U word?

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-[crowd] Uncle.
-Uncle.

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The moment someone calls us uncle,
heart attack, back pain. Ow.

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Why so old? Alzheimer's coming. Okay?

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And ladies,
you get this too right, ladies?

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You get called the A word.
What's the A word?

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-[crowd] Auntie.
-[Jason] Auntie.

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The moment someone calls you auntie,
"Menopause, why suddenly so fast?"

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[laughter]

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"I'm 35. Why dry already? Why?"

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[laughter]

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I understand, okay?
We've all had those kind of stories.

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But my story
can trump all your stories, okay?

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Late last year in December,

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there's a new nasi lemak stall
near my house.

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So, I went to buy nasi lemak.

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And this stall is run
by an elderly couple.

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Sixty-five and above, easily.
White hair, very old.

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And I paid the money.
I took the nasi lemak.

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The uncle running the stall,
he looks at me and he goes,

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"Hey, thank you, bro."

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[laughter]

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I'm not your bro.

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The moment the uncle called me bro,
my penis fell off.

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[laughter]

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But, yes, I'm getting older, you know.

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And I think that sentence,
"I'm getting older," is very meaningless.

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It has no meaning whatsoever in language

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because it offers no new information.

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Everyone and everything at every time
is getting older.

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"I'm getting older."
What a useless sentence. Right?

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Not interesting at all.

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You want to be interesting,
say something like,

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"Hey, I'm getting younger."
"How? That's interesting!"

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"I'm getting older." Very boring.

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Can you imagine two guys
having a conversation with that standard?

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You know, like, "Hey, man, how's life?"

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"Oh, you know, lah. Same old, same old.

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Sun rises in the east, sets in the west.

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Earth rotates.

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Inhale oxygen,

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exhale carbon dioxide.

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Food goes in, shit comes out."

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"Why are you telling me
all the things I already know?

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What's wrong with you?"

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"I'm getting older."

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"Hey, I'm also getting older!
Let's talk about this!"

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No new information, okay?

166
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But, yes, I'm getting older. Right?

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You know how I'm getting older?

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I know I'm getting older because nowadays,
my knees start to make sounds

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when I bend or squat, okay?

170
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Anybody here whose knees make sounds,
give me a clap?

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[scattered clapping]

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I don't know whether you're clapping
or the knees are knocking.

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-I don't know, but…
-[laughter]

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Yeah, my left knee now makes a sound
no other knee makes, okay?

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You guys wanna hear
my left knee make sounds?

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I'll bend my knee
and put the microphone down.

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You can hear my knee.
You wanna hear my knee?

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-[crowd] Yes!
-Okay, ready, here we go. Okay.

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"Fuck you." Did you hear that?

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[laughter]

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[Jason] Did you…?

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So rude, my knee. So rude.

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Another thing that makes me feel old

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is that I now have
a two-year-old daughter, okay?

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And my wife and I, three years ago,
before we had any children,

186
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we were much happier back then…

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[laughter]

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And all our friends with children,

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they were very smug,
patronizing, and condescending.

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They all told us the same thing, said,
"Hey, Jason, have a child!

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Have a child, Jason!

192
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Once you have a child,
your life will be so meaningful.

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Have a child!

194
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When you have a child,

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the bond between you and your wife
is so much stronger.

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Have a child!

197
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When you have a child, there'll always
be a rainbow above your house.

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Have a child!

199
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When you have a child,
you will always find parking.

200
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Have a child!"

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[laughter]

202
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,520
And true enough, right,
when I announced on Facebook

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00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,520
that my wife and I,
we were expecting a baby,

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all those same assholes,
privately message me on Facebook,

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"Haha, Jason, you will never sleep again!"

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[laughter]

207
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Why?

208
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,640
And we've been parents for two years now.
Things are okay, thankfully.

209
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,280
Not enough for those same assholes.
Still very smug.

210
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,760
"Hey, Jason, have another child."

211
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,280
[laughter]

212
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"Have another child.
Your daughter is so lonely.

213
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,640
She needs a sibling to play with.
Have another child.

214
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,240
Have two children."

215
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,799
Now, I'm wiser now, okay?

216
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And I know that the only people
on planet Earth

217
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who truly, genuinely want
to have two children

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are those with three children.

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[laughter, applause]

220
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,600
Ask them, ask them, ask them.

221
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They were all hoping the pandemic
will take one of their children away.

222
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,240
[laughter]

223
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,240
Yeah, these are my children.
Yes, these are my children. Yeah.

224
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,680
We are not vaccinating this one.

225
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,920
No need. No need this one.

226
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,720
Go and play, go and play. Go, go.

227
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,360
No need to wear the mask.

228
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,240
[laughter]

229
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,240
But here's the thing.

230
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,400
As a parent, I'm exposed
to a lot of parenting hazards, okay?

231
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:22,680
The main ones are

232
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:23,800
other parents.

233
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I can't stand parents
who like to show off their children, okay?

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I'm okay if you're proud of your child,
no problem.

235
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But I draw the red line when it comes
to showing off your child, okay?

236
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,800
I had a friend, she's a mom.

237
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,160
She uploaded on Instagram
a photo of her child's drawing, okay?

238
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,160
Now, the child is very sweet,
seven years old,

239
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,280
and the drawing is a typical
child's drawing of a house, okay?

240
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,240
There's the roof, okay?

241
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,680
The building of the house,
the two windows, the door,

242
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,320
the grass around the house,
the rainbow, the sun.

243
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:55,360
And the child labeled the drawing
"Our Home," okay? No problem.

244
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But the mother's caption on Instagram
was damn bloody obnoxious.

245
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,720
The mother's caption was, "Oh my God,

246
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,240
my son is going to be Picasso!"

247
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,920
[laughter]

248
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And I was like, "No, bitch."

249
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[laughter]

250
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,520
"Your son is not going to be Picasso.

251
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,680
Picasso revolutionized the world of art.

252
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:24,040
Your son drew a triangle on a rectangle

253
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,400
and called it your home.

254
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,600
Which is bullshit.

255
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,320
Because you live in an apartment."

256
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,040
[laughter]

257
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,600
"You don't have that kind of roof.

258
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,080
You cannot afford that kind of roof.

259
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,800
Your roof is someone else's floor.

260
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,680
Every day, someone takes
a shit above your head.

261
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,200
So, don't…"

262
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,720
[laughter]

263
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,440
Now, like I said, I'm very thankful

264
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,680
that we are slowly but surely
getting out of this pandemic, you know.

265
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,440
But as a former medical doctor
with some scientific knowledge

266
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,480
and as a stand-up comedian
with some observational skills,

267
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,000
I can't help but think about
the next disease

268
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,800
that will cause the next pandemic.

269
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,080
And I think I got it.

270
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,880
I think I know what is the next disease
that will cause global chaos.

271
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,520
The next disease
that will cause the next pandemic

272
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:19,560
is the disease of middle-aged men
who think they can ride bicycles.

273
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,640
[laughter]

274
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,760
[Jason] Yeah.

275
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,880
You see them all the time
on the weekends, okay?

276
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,680
All these uncles,
they will ride their expensive bicycles,

277
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,160
and they will all wear the tightest…

278
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,440
[laughter]

279
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,600
The tightest

280
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,960
shirts, the tightest pants.

281
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,480
Right? They will cycle in front
of all the cars at the red traffic light.

282
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,320
They'll cycle, cycle, cycle.

283
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,040
They will stop
in front of all the cars, right?

284
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,200
Cycle in front of all the cars.

285
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,120
They stop, they dismount,
and they all do this.

286
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,800
-[grunts]
-[crowd laughs]

287
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,880
Everyone can see. Everyone can see.

288
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,720
Mothers can see.

289
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,960
Children are watching. "Mommy,
what's he doing, Mommy? Disgusting!"

290
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,960
[laughter]

291
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,200
It is a disgusting hobby!

292
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,960
[laughter]

293
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,240
Yeah. And there's an acronym
for this, okay?

294
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,400
It's called MAMIL. M-A-M-I-L.

295
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,720
Middle-Aged Men In Lycra.

296
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,240
Yeah.

297
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,520
Last year, I was the first car
at the traffic light, right?

298
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,960
Right in front. Red light.

299
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,840
And this guy cycled past me.

300
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,840
Now, I'm not in the best of shape,
but this guy was quite large.

301
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:33,360
And he wore the tightest, brightest,
yellowest shirt I've ever seen in my life.

302
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,760
It was like the sun was passing by.

303
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,120
[laughter]

304
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,800
He cycled in front of me,
he stop, he dismounted.

305
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,520
Then he takes out a bottle of water.

306
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,680
And he starts dousing himself

307
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,120
like he is in a magazine cover shoot.

308
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,680
[laughter]

309
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,880
I wanted to wind down my window
and say, "Hey.

310
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,400
You look like a diabetic Pikachu.
Stop this shit!"

311
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,000
[laughter, applause]

312
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,320
It is a stupid hobby, okay?

313
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,640
And I will explain to you why
in a few moments, right?

314
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:10,320
But this disease first started in 2020
during lockdown

315
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,720
because during lockdown,
the government didn't allow people

316
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,800
to jog or walk outside,
but they allowed cycling

317
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,560
because, apparently,
you can outrun the virus.

318
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,320
[laughter]

319
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,840
So, some of my friends,
they started cycling, right?

320
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,640
I had not hated cycling
back then yet, okay?

321
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,960
So, one of my friends, avid cyclist,
he calls me and goes,

322
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,920
"Hey, Jason, you wanna come and cycle
with me and my friends on Saturday?"

323
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,240
Now, I'm a very open-minded guy.
Anything new, I try once, no problem.

324
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,600
So I said, "Yeah, sure,
I would love to come cycling with you.

325
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,120
Oh, but I don't have the…

326
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,880
I don't have the tight shirt
and the tight pants.

327
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,440
You know, all my clothes are normal sized.

328
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,480
You know, I don't have any clothing
from my childhood."

329
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,160
[laughter]

330
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,840
"And I don't have the bicycle."

331
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,760
But my friend, very nice, he goes,
"Don't worry, Jason.

332
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,120
You are about my size,
so I will lend you a pair of my shirt.

333
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,800
I'll lend you a pair of my pants.

334
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,000
And also, I got an extra bicycle,
so you can use the bicycle."

335
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,440
Very nice.

336
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,400
Then, my friend said something
which gave me pause, okay?

337
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,600
My friend then said,
"By the way, before I forget, Jason,

338
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,480
before you come to the house
on the Saturday morning,

339
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,640
don't wear underwear."

340
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,440
[laughter]

341
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,360
"Sorry, bro, the reception not good.

342
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:24,640
What did you say?"

343
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,560
"I said, before you come to the house
on the Saturday morning,

344
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,720
don't wear underwear."

345
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,160
"Sorry. So sorry, bro, so funny,
the reception is so bad,

346
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,640
I thought I heard you say,
'Don't wear underwear.'

347
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,800
Ha, ha.

348
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,240
What did you actually say?"

349
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,400
"Yeah, Jason, I said,
before you come to the house on Saturday,

350
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,880
don't wear underwear.

351
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,880
When we cycle, we don't wear underwear."

352
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,480
[laughter]

353
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,400
And that's how I found out

354
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,360
that all these cyclists
you see on the road,

355
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,400
they don't wear underwear!

356
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,600
[laughter]

357
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,240
I'm not making this up!

358
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,880
I can see this is news to some of you.

359
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,760
[laughter]

360
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,200
I repeat.

361
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,040
All these cyclists,

362
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,520
when they wear the tight shirt
and the really tight pants,

363
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,320
so tight you can see their inner child…

364
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,040
[laughter]

365
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,960
They're not wearing underwear!

366
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,040
That's how I found out,
in that telephone conversation. Right?

367
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,680
I swear to God,
I thought my friend wanted to fuck me.

368
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,400
[laughter]

369
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,360
I thought he was going to take me cycling
and then take me.

370
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,000
[laughter]

371
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,600
And it would be much easier
without the underwear.

372
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,960
You know, I'm saying, like,

373
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,240
"Sorry, bro, I cannot go cycling."

374
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,560
"Why you cannot go cycling?"
"I got COVID."

375
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,400
[laughter]

376
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,720
"I got Stage 8 COVID.

377
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,400
I got COVID on my mouth,

378
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,200
my penis, and my asshole,
don't take me cycling."

379
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,840
[laughter]

380
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,520
Yeah, all these cyclists,
they don't wear underwear.

381
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,760
And let me explain to you

382
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,760
why all these cyclists,
they don't wear underwear.

383
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,640
And, by the way, this is why you should
always support my comedy career.

384
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,640
Because for your entertainment's sake,

385
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,520
I Googled, "Why cyclists
don't wear underwear."

386
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,320
[laughter]

387
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,880
"Why cyclists don't wear underwear"
is in my Google search history.

388
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,240
My algorithm is fucked up.

389
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,000
[laughter]

390
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,560
Pornhub recommends me really weird porn.

391
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,040
[laughter]

392
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,400
Have you all watched bicycle porn?

393
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,000
I have.

394
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,520
[laughter]

395
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,360
So, let me explain to you why all these
cyclists, they don't wear underwear.

396
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,800
Now, the bicycles that they buy
is very expensive.

397
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,720
But the seats are rigid and hard.
No padding.

398
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,480
The padding is sewn
into their tight pants, okay?

399
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,840
And the manufacturer says

400
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,160
that the padding is meant to clench
really tightly to the genitals

401
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,120
to maintain a very tight fit, okay?

402
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,840
And why all these things very tight?

403
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,480
Because they want to have the aerodynamic…

404
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,360
[laughter]

405
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,680
The aerodynamic…

406
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,920
The aerodynamic flow of the body so that
they can cycle a bit faster, all right?

407
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,880
So, if you wear underwear,
you will disrupt the tight fit

408
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:09,079
and then you disrupt the aerodynamic flow
of the air around your genitals, okay?

409
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,680
So, all these cyclists,
they have all made a conscious decision

410
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,760
to not wear underwear
so they can cycle a bit faster.

411
00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:18,359
-That's all.
-[laughter]

412
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,560
With that knowledge, right,
I want to go to all the cafés

413
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:26,280
where all these uncles, after cycling,
they will just hang out.

414
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,560
Like that. "Yeah, ah, good cycling."

415
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,680
Hanging out literally and figuratively
after cycling.

416
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,360
Like, "Whoa, what a good cycling.
Very good. Very good."

417
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,760
I want to take a loudspeaker and go,
"Hey, they're not wearing underwear!"

418
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,160
[laughter]

419
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,640
Just now I said that
cycling is a stupid hobby, okay?

420
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,200
Because in Malaysia,
all these cyclists, when they cycle,

421
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,520
they cycle on
the most dangerous part of Malaysia.

422
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,200
Malaysian roads.

423
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,160
Malaysian roads are very dangerous.
Malaysian roads, right?

424
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,440
If any Malaysian road next to a hill,
rain a bit,

425
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,400
the hill will slide
and kill everybody, you know.

426
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,400
Certain parts of KL,
the MRT track can break off and fall,

427
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,200
kill people below, right?

428
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,520
Some roads, Tuesday,
Wednesday, random day,

429
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,120
there's a sinkhole, suddenly, a sinkhole.

430
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,880
All the cars dive, all die.

431
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,360
Death on Malaysian roads can come
from the side, in front, and above.

432
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,760
[laughter]

433
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:24,000
And all these cyclists are cycling,
no road tax, no road insurance,

434
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,960
no airbags, no underwear,
what are they thinking?

435
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,760
[laughter]

436
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,480
And when they cycle on Malaysian roads,
they are sharing the space

437
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,440
with the most dangerous animal
on planet Earth.

438
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,960
Malaysian drivers.

439
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,080
On average, every Malaysian driver
kills two people per annum.

440
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,360
I just killed mine last week, okay?

441
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,160
[laughter]

442
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,800
I asked my friends, I said, "Guys,
don't you know cycling is so dangerous?

443
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,680
You'll get into a road traffic accident!"

444
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,600
My friend goes,
"You must understand, Jason,

445
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,920
cycling is very good
for your cardiovascular health."

446
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,680
[laughter]

447
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,280
Real conversation.

448
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,960
So, like I said,
I always challenge my friends.

449
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,680
"Guys, it's so dangerous to cycle.
Why are you all cycling?"

450
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,160
But they are very delusional.
They have rebuttals.

451
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,240
They go, "Jason, when we cycle,
we practice safety precautions."

452
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,560
"Okay, what are your safety precautions?"

453
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,480
"When we cycle on the roads,
we make sure to cycle

454
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,680
in groups."

455
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,200
[laughter]

456
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,360
"Oh.

457
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,080
So let me get this straight.

458
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,440
If there is one cyclist,
the lorry knocks the cyclist,

459
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,880
the cyclist dies.

460
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,840
But if there's ten cyclists,

461
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,280
the lorry knocks the ten cyclists,

462
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,160
and the lorry bounce back.
Okay, I understand."

463
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,120
[laughter]

464
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,160
"If the lorry driver knocks ten cyclists,
the lorry driver gets injured.

465
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,640
Okay, I understand. I understand.
Makes sense, okay."

466
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,360
Now, these cyclists,
the bicycles are very expensive.

467
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,800
So, to maintain this hobby,

468
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,280
all these champions,
they need to have a day job, okay?

469
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,320
So, most of them, they cycle at night.

470
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,320
At night on Malaysian roads.
A dangerous place with lower visibility.

471
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,080
I said, "Guys, seriously, this can't…
this can't be safe.

472
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,920
You must be stupid to cycle at night."

473
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:18,320
Rebuttal, "Jason, when we cycle at night,
we practice safety precautions.

474
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,960
When we cycle at night,
we make sure we put the…

475
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,200
the blinking red lights."

476
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,240
Blinking red lights.

477
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,000
Because Malaysians are very famous
for obeying red lights.

478
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,680
[laughter]

479
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,000
I'll tell you a separate story, okay?

480
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,880
I had a friend.
One day, he drove to a bar.

481
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:35,880
He got drunk.

482
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,720
He drove home at night,
under the influence.

483
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,520
It's his fault,
shouldn't have done that, okay?

484
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,240
But on the way home, his car ran into
a group of cyclists at night, okay?

485
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,040
Nobody was hurt, unfortunately.

486
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,000
[laughter]

487
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,280
The next day, when I found out,
I called him up and said,

488
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,160
"You idiot! How could you have run into
a group of cyclists at night?

489
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,080
Didn't you see the blinking red lights?"

490
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,160
And he goes, "Yeah, bro, I was so drunk,

491
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,520
I thought they were fireflies."

492
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,680
[laughter]

493
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,880
"You're an idiot!

494
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,440
When was the last time
you saw fireflies in Kuala Lumpur?"

495
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,400
He goes, "Never! My first time.
That's why I drove faster to see!"

496
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,320
[laughter]

497
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,120
And some of my friends,
they are not yet cyclists,

498
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,480
but they want to cycle.

499
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,400
And I'm trying my best
to convince them not to cycle, okay?

500
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,440
Said, "You'll get into a traffic accident.
Please don't cycle."

501
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,720
One of my friend goes,
"Jason, don't worry.

502
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,000
When I buy my bicycle,
I will also buy safety equipment.

503
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,200
I will buy the helmet,
and I will buy the knee pads."

504
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,280
I said, "I don't think you understand
what I'm trying to say, okay?

505
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,240
I don't think there's ever been a time
in cycling history

506
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,240
where a cyclist gets into an accident,

507
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,880
his mangled body
is brought to the hospital,

508
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,520
and this guy, skull fractured,
eyes coming out of the socket,

509
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,960
nose broken, teeth shattered,
tongue missing, neck broken,

510
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:59,000
lungs contused, ribcage broken,
intestinal bleeding,

511
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,160
pelvic bone broken, five different places,

512
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,080
no underwear."

513
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,080
[laughter]

514
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,600
"Knees shattered.

515
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,040
I don't think any doctor looks
at the mangled body and go,

516
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,640
'If only he wore knee pads.'"

517
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,320
[laughter]

518
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,280
"So stupid."

519
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,680
Like I said, I'm very glad to be here.
Glad to be touring live.

520
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,160
Now, if I can take you back
two years ago, 2019.

521
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,920
2019 was an amazing year for me

522
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,240
because I was doing two major tours
around the world.

523
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,480
I felt like a rock star,
you know, doing comedy.

524
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,160
Living the dream,
touring around the world, making money.

525
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,800
"Yeah, I feel like a rock star."

526
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,120
And 2019 was the year
that I felt that the next year,

527
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,040
my comedy career was gonna take off
onto a different trajectory.

528
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:44,000
Because two things happened, right?

529
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,400
Firstly, the media started
to take me more seriously, all right?

530
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,560
Back then, when I first started,

531
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,440
a lot of the media
when they asked me questions,

532
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,000
they love to ask me
stupid questions, right?

533
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,880
And my favorite stupid question
from the media is,

534
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,480
"Hey, Dr. Jason,
you used to be a medical doctor.

535
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Now, you're a comedian.

536
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,640
Can you tell us
if laughter is the best medicine?"

537
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,920
[laughter]

538
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,840
Fuck you.

539
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,800
[crowd laughs]

540
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,520
How to answer this question?
I have no idea how to answer.

541
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,880
Till today, I don't know
how to answer that question, okay?

542
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,800
The only way I can answer is to quote
my fellow comedian, Douglas Lim,

543
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,400
by saying, "No,
laughter is not the best medicine.

544
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,200
Not if the guy has diarrhea."

545
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,520
[laughter]

546
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,200
"If the guy has diarrhea,
don't make him laugh!"

547
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,400
[laughter]

548
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,120
But in 2019,
the media started to take me seriously.

549
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,160
They ask me questions like,

550
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,800
"Jason, what is your role
as a stand-up comedian

551
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,640
in a country where freedom of speech

552
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,040
is often curtailed
in service of those in power?"

553
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,840
Ooh, yeah, ask me, ask me.

554
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,600
Ooh, ask me, ask me, ask me.

555
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,560
"Jason, when you travel, how do your jokes

556
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,720
transcend racial and religious boundaries

557
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,600
in a global society

558
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,680
where we're increasingly getting
more and more polarized?"

559
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,880
Oh yeah, ask me, ask me. Ask me, ask me.

560
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,840
I don't know how to answer,
but ask me, ask me.

561
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,160
Oh yeah, ask me, ask me.

562
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,640
[laughter]

563
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,720
And then validation also came
from another person, my mom, okay?

564
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,680
Now, my mom, when I first started
doing comedy, my mom very skeptical.

565
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,640
She said, "Jason,
are you sure you want to do comedy?

566
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,520
You used to be a doctor, stable job,
now you do comedy.

567
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,560
Are you sure you can survive?
Can you make money?

568
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,240
Our politicians are funnier than you.
Can you make money as a comedian?"

569
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,080
[laughter]

570
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,480
But in 2019,
my mom calls me out of the blue and goes,

571
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,280
"Jason, my friend Auntie Susan,
her company has an annual dinner.

572
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:25,480
She wants you to perform.

573
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,360
She's asking me to ask you
whether you're available.

574
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,480
I said I will check with you
on your dates.

575
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,280
And then she asked me how much you charge.

576
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:34,760
And then I said that
you would charge 40,000 ringgit,

577
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,440
and when you get the gig,
I will take 40% commission, okay?"

578
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,480
[laughter]

579
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,480
"Okay, bye-bye."

580
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,440
So now, my mom is okay
with my comedy career

581
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,760
when she can make money off me.

582
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,160
[laughter]

583
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,240
So, 2019 was amazing.
I was touring around the world,

584
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,360
making money, felt like a rock star,

585
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,560
media validated me, my mom validated me.

586
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,160
I thought, "Oh, 2019 is an awesome year!
I feel like a rock star, yeah!

587
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,000
Fuck medicine, I love comedy!

588
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,320
Fuck being a doctor,
I'm a stand-up comedian, baby!

589
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,280
This is my year!

590
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:08,040
Next year, 2020, is gonna be my year!"

591
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,640
And then 2020 happened.

592
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,800
A virus ravages the planet.

593
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,880
Comedy events are not allowed to happen.

594
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:21,040
And then suddenly everyone around
the world is like, "We love doctors!

595
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,760
Doctors are our heroes!

596
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,160
They are the last line of defense!

597
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,520
Not all heroes wear capes!"

598
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,520
Like, fuck! And I'm at home doing nothing.

599
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:32,720
[laughter]

600
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:33,800
Feeling like shit.

601
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,840
And the worst is, my wife is a doctor,
was a doctor during the pandemic.

602
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,080
She's an anesthetist, okay?

603
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:44,720
And as an anesthetist, she took care
of the worst COVID patients, right?

604
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,360
All the patients
you see in the ICU, ventilated,

605
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,880
she takes care of those patients, right?

606
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,320
So, every day,
she came back like a rock star.

607
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,520
"Oh yeah, today,
I saved a lot of lives today, whoo."

608
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,360
And I'm at home doing nothing, okay?

609
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,640
I'm just picking fights
with people on Twitter.

610
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,080
[laughter]

611
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,200
My only contribution is,
"Fuck you, take the vaccine.

612
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,960
Fuck you take the vaccine.
Fuck you take the vaccine."

613
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,360
That's my only contribution

614
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,360
to the pandemic.

615
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,720
And the lockdown

616
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,360
really brought the two different realities
of our professions

617
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,640
into very stark focus, okay?

618
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,720
Because, like, let's say it's a bad day
at the hospital, right?

619
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,600
My wife comes home. Says, "Jason,

620
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,200
today was a bad day at the hospital.

621
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,640
They brought in an 18-year-old boy,
Stage 5 COVID,

622
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:27,960
but they brought him too late, you know.

623
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,000
We tried our best.
We intubated him in the ICU.

624
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,760
But it's too late.
We lost a patient today. He died.

625
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,120
The 18-year-old boy died.

626
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,840
And this boy was the only child
in the family.

627
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,200
So, when the parents came,
they were very sad.

628
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,720
They cried so loudly that
the whole hospital could hear them cry.

629
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:44,080
I cried with them. So sad, Jason.

630
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,760
Today was a bad day at the hospital.
Today was a bad day.

631
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,760
How was your day?"

632
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,320
[laughter]

633
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,400
"Ah, yeah, ah,
today was a bad day for me also.

634
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,280
Today, I attended
an online Zoom comedy event.

635
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,720
I spent the first five minutes doing this,

636
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,960
'Hello, can you hear me?
Hello, can you hear me?

637
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,680
I can't hear you. Can you hear me? Hello?

638
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,400
It was an open-mic comedy Zoom event.

639
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,640
Five people attended.

640
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,560
I tried some new jokes,
and nobody laughed."

641
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:18,880
[laughter]

642
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,960
[voice shaking]
"Today was a bad day for me.

643
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,480
Bad day."

644
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,480
My wife, "It's okay, Jason, it's okay."

645
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,920
My wife is consoling me.
"Jason, it's okay. It's okay."

646
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,320
And it's worse
when it's a good day at the hospital.

647
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,320
She comes home. "Jason.

648
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,120
Today was a good day at the hospital.
Today good day.

649
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,600
They brought in a 36-weeks pregnant lady,
Stage 5 COVID,

650
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,480
but we stabilized her in the ICU,

651
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,160
stabilized her well enough so that we can
deliver the baby via Caesarean section.

652
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,840
The baby is fine, the mother is fine.

653
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,000
Jason, today, we saved
two lives today, Jason.

654
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,200
We saved two lives today."

655
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,240
[laughter]

656
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,320
"We saved two lives today, Jason.

657
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,440
My team saved two lives today.

658
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,440
One, two. Two lives.

659
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,760
I saved two lives today, Jason.

660
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:00,560
I saved two lives today.

661
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,320
How was your day?"

662
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,160
[laughter]

663
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,640
"Yeah, ah, today
also good day for me also.

664
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,080
Today, I attended
an online Zoom comedy event.

665
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,440
I figured out how to unmute myself."

666
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,480
[laughter]

667
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,480
"It was an online open-mic comedy event.

668
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,800
Eight people attended.

669
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,400
I tried my new jokes

670
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,240
and it turns out they were better received
when they can hear me."

671
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,440
[laughter]

672
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,840
"Out of the eight people that attended,
four people laughed."

673
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,840
[laughter]

674
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:39,720
"Four people laughed."

675
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,720
[laughter, clapping]

676
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,880
"Four people laughed. Four.
Four people laughed.

677
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,280
And I don't know about you,
but laughter is the best medicine."

678
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,280
[laughter]

679
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,240
I'll never forget this day.
This is a true story, okay?

680
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,760
So, one day during the lockdown,

681
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,640
I was in my room with my computer
doing research for this show.

682
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,080
The show that I'm doing for you right now.

683
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,880
And my wife was in the master bedroom
with the laptop, right,

684
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,560
doing research for her thesis, right?

685
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,520
Something very unimportant and boring.

686
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,120
[laughter]

687
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,160
It was some research about,
like, hip fractures, okay?

688
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,320
And we left
our one-and-a-half-year-old baby

689
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,920
in the crib in the living room
just by herself.

690
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,360
She can play by herself, right?

691
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,640
So, it was a very nice afternoon, right?

692
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,400
I'm working, wife working,
baby in the crib.

693
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,800
And then after about half an hour,
the baby starts to cry.

694
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,120
[mimics crying]

695
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,160
We can hear the crying
through the doors, right?

696
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,800
Immediately, I went, "Excuse me,
can you have a look at the baby, please?

697
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,880
I'm doing research for the show."

698
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:36,800
My wife.

699
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,160
"Uh, I'm doing actual research."

700
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,560
[laughter]

701
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,360
"Ah, excuse me,
I'm going to tour this show.

702
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,520
A lot of people are going to watch
this show. A lot of people."

703
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,560
My wife.

704
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,160
"Everyone has hips."

705
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,360
[laughter]

706
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,760
"Can you have a look at the baby, please?"

707
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,520
Said, "No, can you have a look
at the baby, please?"

708
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:04,760
"No, you look at the baby, please!"

709
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,760
We are both arguing through the door,
through the walls. "Look at the baby!"

710
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,040
And our baby can hear
the two parents neglecting her.

711
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,160
No love whatsoever.

712
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,520
Then our baby starts to cry even louder,

713
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,480
to a point
where the starts to retch and she vomits.

714
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:18,680
-[man in crowd] Oh.
-Exactly, "oh."

715
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,480
When the baby cries and vomits,
that is the red line.

716
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,760
You must attend, okay?
So I did the right thing.

717
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,840
I put my foot down. I said,
"Have a look at the baby, please!"

718
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,040
[laughter]

719
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,840
"I'm doing… researching this show!
This show is very important to me.

720
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,480
I'm going to make Singapore dollars!"

721
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,600
[laughter]

722
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,160
"Can you please have a look at the baby?

723
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,400
Can you be a mother?"

724
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,440
-[crowd] Ooh.
-[Jason] Yep.

725
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,320
[soft laughter]

726
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:49,400
I hear my wife stop arguing.
I hear a beat of silence.

727
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,600
I hear the door open.
[mimics creaking]

728
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,120
I can hear footsteps to the baby.
I can hear the baby, "Whaah."

729
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,560
And then, slowly, she cuddles,
and the baby stops crying.

730
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,200
I hear a beat of silence.

731
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,680
Then, I hear footsteps coming to my door.

732
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,040
[laughter]

733
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,680
And I don't know how to explain
to the unmarried men here,

734
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,040
but married men can tell

735
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,520
when footsteps are angry.

736
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,720
[laughter]

737
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,800
My wife fucking furious.
She kicks open the door, boom!

738
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,120
"What the fuck are you doing
that is so fucking important?!"

739
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,160
And there I am in front of the computer

740
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,840
Googling, "Why cyclists
don't wear underwear."

741
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,680
[laughter]

742
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,680
"This is for the show, I promise.
It's for the show.

743
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,640
I will set up the joke that I'll call back
later. Very funny one. Please, this…

744
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,400
Laughter is the best medicine. Please…

745
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,480
Singapore dollars.
I don't know why it's Pornhub.

746
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:47,720
But I'm saying, like…"

747
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,320
[laughter]

748
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,320
It's a true story, by the way.

749
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,320
A bit exaggerated, but it's a true story.

750
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,880
[laughter]

751
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:04,880
So, that was 2020, you know,
and then end of 2021,

752
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,040
the borders started to reopen
and I took advantage of that.

753
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,360
I went, I traveled to New York City
to do stand-up comedy.

754
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:12,920
The mecca of comedy.

755
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,080
And when I was there, I also trained

756
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,600
in one of the top jiujitsu gyms
in New York, okay?

757
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,480
Now, some of you may know I do jiujitsu.

758
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,880
It's a grappling martial art.
I've been doing it for many years.

759
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,960
Now, I know
I don't look like a martial artist.

760
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:27,360
[laughter]

761
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,400
But I know lots of jiujitsu moves, okay?

762
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,520
Jiujitsu has made my grips
very strong, okay?

763
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,760
So, if anyone of you
wants to rush the stage,

764
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,120
challenge me, and want to slap me, I…

765
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:37,360
[laughter]

766
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,680
I will call the cops.
I will call the cops.

767
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,480
[laughter]

768
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,520
And then I'll sue you
for Singaporean dollars. I will do it.

769
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,280
[laughter]

770
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,240
So, yes, I went to New York City
to do jiujitsu.

771
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,720
I trained at
the Marcelo Garcia Academy of Jiujitsu.

772
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,400
Marcelo Garcia is like

773
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,960
the Denzel Washington
or Tom Hanks of jiujitsu.

774
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,240
Legendary coach.

775
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,640
So I went to this top gym. Very expensive.

776
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,440
I paid 300 dollars
for three weeks of lessons, right?

777
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,880
A lot of money, but it's worth it

778
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,920
because the gym was the most advanced gym
I've ever seen in my life.

779
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,960
The best mats. The best pads.

780
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,280
High-tech ventilation system
because of COVID.

781
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,720
You can scan in to enter the gym
with just a thumbprint.

782
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,160
Whoa, so advanced.

783
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,840
Went to the gym first day, paid my money,
grappled with the coach,

784
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,920
good sweat, good workout,
whoa, feel so high.

785
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,880
"Yes! Thank you, Professor.
High five, that was awesome."

786
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,120
Then I went into the changing area
to change and get ready to shower.

787
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,120
I went into the showering area,

788
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:38,560
and the showering area
of the best gym in New York City

789
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,080
is just one big room,

790
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,880
eight shower heads,

791
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:45,560
no dividers.

792
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:46,880
[laughter]

793
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,200
You understand what I am saying?

794
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,680
The showering area is just one big room.

795
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,000
Eight shower heads.

796
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,080
No dividers, no doors, nothing.

797
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,680
And five penises just hanging out.

798
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,280
[laughter]

799
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,920
Oh my God, how much money
is Marcelo Garcia saving,

800
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,760
not putting the dividers?

801
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,840
I paid 300 dollars.

802
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,840
I would gladly pay 3,000 dollars
if I can shower by myself.

803
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,560
'Cause I come from an Asian background.

804
00:34:11,639 --> 00:34:14,280
When I shower, I don't want to see
other people's penises.

805
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,719
I don't want them to see my penis
when I'm showering.

806
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,600
I myself don't look at my penis
when I'm showering.

807
00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:21,159
[laughter]

808
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,239
But it's horrible.
I saw so many penises in that three weeks.

809
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,760
I saw more penises
in that three weeks in New York City

810
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:30,760
than my entire medical career…

811
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,040
[laughter]

812
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,880
…and Pornhub combined.

813
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,280
[laughter]

814
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,639
I did the math. I saw about 50 penises.

815
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,400
I paid 300 dollars, I saw 50 penises.

816
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,199
I paid six dollars per penis.

817
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,800
[laughter]

818
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,800
I was complaining to my friends back home.

819
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,000
"Bro, I see too many penises, man."

820
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,040
My friend goes,
"Jason, you are weird, okay?

821
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,440
If you don't want to look at the penis,
don't look at the penis.

822
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,440
But you, you look and you count."

823
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,040
[laughter]

824
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,640
And I said, look,
it's a psychological blind spot, okay?

825
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:06,440
Like, if you see something gross
and horrible at the corner of your eye,

826
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,560
you don't want to look, but your brain
goes, "You must look." Right?

827
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,560
You know a car crash is about to happen.

828
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,800
It's horrible.
You don't want to look, but must look.

829
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,160
Maybe there's a cyclist involved,
I don't know.

830
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:17,400
[laughter]

831
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,440
It's horrible. So,
this is what my brain does, right?

832
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:23,200
After about a week of seeing
other people's penises in the shower,

833
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,400
when I walk into the showering area,

834
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,920
my brain does this
psychological blind spot.

835
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,760
It goes, "La, la, la, nothing,
nothing, you're alone.

836
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,760
Yourself, waterfall, you and your penis
alone. Nobody is around you.

837
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,320
La, la, la. Nothing, nothing.
Alone, alone, alone."

838
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,640
After showering, I will take the subway
back home to the apartment,

839
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,920
have lunch, take a nap.

840
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,480
Evening, wake up, take the subway,

841
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,360
do five or six stand-up comedy shows
around New York City,

842
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,080
have supper at night, pizza.

843
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,200
Take the subway back home, shower,

844
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,360
lie down on my bed, do last-minute emails.

845
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,200
And right before I fall asleep,
my brain goes,

846
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:53,640
"Today, you saw five penises."

847
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:55,240
[laughter]

848
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,160
Why?

849
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:00,400
But, yeah…

850
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,440
And after three weeks
of seeing a lot of penises,

851
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,280
I've come to this very sad realization.

852
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,240
And this is a personal confession
to all of you here today.

853
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,120
After seeing so many penises,
I realize, truly,

854
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,320
that my penis

855
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:14,560
is so very small.

856
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,240
[laughter]

857
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,760
You see, a lot of guys,
we go through life with a lot of delusion.

858
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,280
"Oh yeah, my penis is very big. Yeah.

859
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,920
Ooh, I will destroy the pussy,
yeah, very big."

860
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,120
[laughter]

861
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,120
But I actually saw empirical,
scientific evidence…

862
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,640
[laughter]

863
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:34,280
…that my penis is very small.

864
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,280
New York City is a very cosmopolitan city.

865
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,080
Penises from all around the world
travel to New York City.

866
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,920
And I saw penises
from all around the world,

867
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,400
all of them bigger than mine.

868
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,600
I saw one guy. His penis was so big,
I thought he had penis cancer.

869
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,280
[laughter]

870
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:54,800
No, just a normal penis.

871
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,480
After a while, I felt so ashamed.
Before I go to the shower,

872
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,120
"Come on, bigger. Come on.
Come on, bigger. Come on, come on.

873
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,880
Bigger. Bigger a bit. Bigger a bit."

874
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,560
[laughter]

875
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,040
"I'm sorry, I cannot.

876
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,480
I'm getting older, I cannot…"

877
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,240
Psychologically damaging

878
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,920
to the soul.

879
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,920
When I came back to KL,

880
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,840
I had to reconcile myself, you know?

881
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,680
And to console myself,

882
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,400
I did what a lot of guys
with small penises do.

883
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:27,520
I bought a BMW.

884
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,480
[laughter]

885
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,440
[applause]

886
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,360
I'm joking. I didn't buy a BMW.

887
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:40,320
I bought a bicycle.

888
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,200
[laughter]

889
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,840
It feels big in the tight pants.

890
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,800
Now, I know why…

891
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,360
[laughter]

892
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,000
Now, I've been doing stand-up comedy
for ten years now.

893
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,600
And many of you do not know this,

894
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:57,280
but every single stand-up comedy show
is a business venture, you know?

895
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,320
Every stand-up comedian is himself
also a businessman, right?

896
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,240
And after doing this showbiz
for ten years,

897
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,280
after selling my tickets for ten years,

898
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,240
I'm going to say something
very controversial.

899
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,280
You'll be surprised it comes from me.

900
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,880
But, after ten years of selling tickets,

901
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,520
I'm beginning to really like
and really love

902
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,760
Singaporean comedy fans.

903
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,280
Yeah. In fact, I'm beginning
to love Singaporean comedy fans

904
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,280
a bit more than Malaysian comedy fans.

905
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,560
[booing from crowd]

906
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,480
[laughter]

907
00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:32,200
Not the Malaysians here.

908
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,080
[laughter]

909
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,800
Relax.

910
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,280
Malaysians here are different.

911
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,080
[laughter]

912
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,520
Singaporean dollars.

913
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:44,880
[laughter]

914
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,520
No, but genuinely,
I love Singaporean comedy fans. Just…

915
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,360
Singaporeans in the house,
give me a cheer?

916
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,720
-[loud cheer]
-Yeah, that's a lot! Thank you.

917
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,800
I love Singaporean comedy fans
because, you see,

918
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,400
when I tour,
I will put up a poster online, okay?

919
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,600
I will put up the poster, right?

920
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:05,200
Jason Leong, new show, date, time,
venue, buy tickets, website.

921
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,920
Singaporean comedy fans,
they will see the poster.

922
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,280
They will go online, buy tickets,
come to the show, laugh appropriately.

923
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,160
[laughter]

924
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:15,440
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."

925
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:16,760
[laughter]

926
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,440
After the comedy show, go home,
write a report for the government.

927
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,400
[laughter]

928
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,600
"Jason Leong was very funny.

929
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,760
He did not make any jokes

930
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,720
about the PAP

931
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:31,760
or Lee Kuan Yew.

932
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,160
Please, have him back."

933
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,200
Send. Very nice.

934
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,200
But Malaysian comedy fans.

935
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,240
There is a special breed of stupidity

936
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,200
that only exists among Malaysians.

937
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,760
I can put up the same poster.

938
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,480
Jason Leong, new show, date, time,
venue, buy tickets, website.

939
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,360
First question: Where to buy ticket?

940
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,280
[laughter]

941
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,200
It's on the poster!

942
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,360
Buy tickets, website! Go to the website!

943
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,280
Second question: Which website?

944
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:06,520
[laughter]

945
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,320
There's only one website!

946
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,240
Malaysians will ask me questions
no other nationality will ask me.

947
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,640
"Jason, can I bring my baby to your show?"

948
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:19,520
Why would you bring a baby
to my stand-up comedy show?

949
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,400
I already put it on the poster,
18 and above.

950
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,080
"Oh, I thought you meant
18 months and above."

951
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,880
[laughter]

952
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:32,040
Malaysian comedy fans will ask me
questions I don't know how to answer.

953
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,800
"Jason, your 9:00 p.m. show,
what time start?"

954
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,200
[laughter]

955
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,080
"Your 9:00 p.m. show, what time start?

956
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:44,640
What time will your 9:00 p.m. show start?
What time? What time?"

957
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:47,800
If you ask Einstein the question,

958
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,160
"What time will the 9:00 p.m. show start?"

959
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,160
he will die of a stroke.

960
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,640
We will not find out what is E=mc² today.

961
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,400
"Jason, your 9:00 p.m. show,
what time start?"

962
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,960
"I am a professional,
I've done this for ten years.

963
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,720
My 9:00 p.m. show will start on time.

964
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,160
At 9:30, so please come on time. Please."

965
00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:09,560
[laughter]

966
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,400
And then, nowadays,
I will download my poster on my phone

967
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,240
and I will WhatsApp it to my friends,

968
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,000
hoping that they'll WhatsApp
to their friends.

969
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,280
One guy got my poster.
"Hey, Jason, thanks for your poster.

970
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:22,600
Who is performing?"

971
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,480
[laughter]

972
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,800
"The show is canceled, don't come."

973
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,160
[laughter]

974
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,520
But, you know, it's very nice that,

975
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,160
you know, like I said, we are inching
towards the end of this pandemic.

976
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:42,000
And nowadays, we take it for granted that
almost everyone is vaccinated, you know?

977
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,320
But it wasn't so easygoing
when the pandemic first started, right?

978
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:49,040
It was a bit dicey because there were
a lot of anti-vax propaganda. Very scary.

979
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,520
And…

980
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,600
You know me,
I'm very vocal about vaccinations, right?

981
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,000
I'm pro-vaccines
and I always go on Twitter to tell people,

982
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,600
"Please, do your duty. Get vaccinated."

983
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,480
Of course, I don't say it that way.

984
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,400
"Fuck you, take the vaccine. Fuck you.

985
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,920
Fuck you, take the vaccine.
Fuck you, take the vaccine.

986
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,440
Take the vaccine, you fucker.
Take the vaccine."

987
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,320
-Okay? That's mine.
-[laughter]

988
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,280
But because of my pro-vaccine stance,

989
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:15,280
a lot of people ask me questions
about the vaccines, and that's great.

990
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:20,440
But I also get asked a lot of
stupid questions about the vaccines.

991
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:24,080
You know how when we were children,
our teachers tell us,

992
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,240
"There is no such thing
as a stupid question."

993
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:28,960
[laughter]

994
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,360
Wrong!

995
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,840
There are a lot of stupid questions.

996
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,600
And it's infuriating, okay?

997
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,240
This is an actual conversation
with a friend.

998
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,200
Now, you tell me at which point
I wanted shoot myself, okay?

999
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:43,240
Vaccines were being rolled out.

1000
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,200
I said, "Bro, vaccines are coming out.
You taking the vaccine, right?"

1001
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,000
He goes, "No."

1002
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,640
I said, "Why? You're living
with small children, elderly parents.

1003
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,920
Shouldn't you protect yourself
to protect your family?

1004
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,440
Why aren't you taking the vaccine?"

1005
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,440
He goes, "Because, Jason,
I'm very concerned

1006
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,440
with putting chemicals into my body."

1007
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,240
[laughter]

1008
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:08,280
"Let's go cycling."

1009
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,680
[laughter]

1010
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:14,400
Yeah, I get asked
a lot of stupid questions, okay?

1011
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,920
Like, "Jason, I'm very concerned

1012
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,960
with the safety of the ingredients
in the vaccine.

1013
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,920
I'm concerned with the safety
of the ingredients in the vaccine."

1014
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,920
I'm like, "Hey, you are Malaysian.

1015
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,960
Your favorite place to eat
is a char kuay teow stall

1016
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:32,120
next to a dumpsite

1017
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,640
where the rats are so big,

1018
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:37,280
they eat the cats."

1019
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,960
[laughter]

1020
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,680
"The name of the stall is literally
Dumpsite Char Kuay Teow."

1021
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,520
[laughter]

1022
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,800
"And this char kuay teow is fried in a wok

1023
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,120
that literally hasn't been washed
in decades.

1024
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,000
Because they want to preserve
the flavor of the wok.

1025
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,120
They call it the 'wok hei.'

1026
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,000
The logic is,
the more the wok is not washed,

1027
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,360
the more flavorful the char kuay teow is.

1028
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,000
Preserve the 'wok hei.'

1029
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,280
And this char kuay teow is fried
in an unwashed wok

1030
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:12,000
by an uncle who he himself look like
he wasn't washed in decades."

1031
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,600
[laughter]

1032
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,840
"The uncle has his own 'wok hei.'"

1033
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,800
[laughter]

1034
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,440
"And this char kuay teow
is fried in recycled oil.

1035
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,800
You eat this char kuay teow
next to the dumpsite,

1036
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,280
next to the rats,
next to the cars driving past by,

1037
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,480
you inhale the fumes
while eating the char kuay teow,

1038
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,240
and you have the balls to ask me

1039
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,240
about 'the safety of the ingredients
in the vaccine'?

1040
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,760
Just shut the fuck up
and take the vaccines.

1041
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,720
There is nothing the vaccine can do

1042
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,120
that char kuay teow
hasn't already done to your body."

1043
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,200
[laughter]

1044
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,960
And then other vaccines came about,
the mRNA vaccine.

1045
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:53,720
And because mRNA sounds a lot like DNA,
here come the stupid questions.

1046
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:57,720
"Jason, what if the mRNA vaccine
change my DNA?"

1047
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,360
[laughter]

1048
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,360
"What if the mRNA vaccine
change my DNA and turn me gay?"

1049
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:04,920
-[laughter]
-[Jason] Yeah.

1050
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,920
That is part of the anti-vax propaganda.

1051
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,920
"What if the mRNA vaccine
make me gay?" Yeah.

1052
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,200
If there is a Venn diagram
of stupid people and anti-vaxxers

1053
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:15,960
it's just one circle.

1054
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:17,560
[laughter]

1055
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:20,360
[Jason] Yeah.

1056
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,560
"What if the mRNA vaccine change my DNA?"

1057
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,000
First of all,
it's biologically impossible, okay?

1058
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,360
Because the vaccine
doesn't even come close

1059
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,840
to the part of the cell
that holds your DNA, right?

1060
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,920
Worrying that the mRNA vaccine
can change your DNA

1061
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,400
is like worrying that one day

1062
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,600
Malaysia will have
a female prime minister.

1063
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:39,320
[laughter]

1064
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,880
It will never happen, okay?
It's impossible! Right?

1065
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:47,120
But here's the thing. When people ask,
"What if the mRNA vaccine change my DNA?"

1066
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:48,920
The question nobody is asking is,

1067
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,680
"What is so good about your DNA…"

1068
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,560
[laughter]

1069
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,320
[applause]

1070
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,320
"…that it cannot be changed?

1071
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,120
Have you looked yourself in the mirror?

1072
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,480
You don't look like Henry Cavill.

1073
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,320
You don't look like Scarlett Johansson.

1074
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:07,280
You look like shit!"

1075
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,360
[laughter]

1076
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,320
"You have alopecia, acne,
arthritis, asthma, allergies.

1077
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,280
Your DNA is shit!

1078
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:15,800
Change your DNA!"

1079
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,720
[laughter]

1080
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,560
And if you know your history,

1081
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,760
you'll know that
the anti-vax movement started

1082
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,480
many years before COVID
was even a thing, okay?

1083
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,240
It started when a bunch of idiots
were misled by erroneous research

1084
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,440
into thinking that a compound
in the MMR vaccine called thiomersal

1085
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,960
could cause autism in children, okay?

1086
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,640
And they made such a big fuss that
eventually the MMR vaccine manufacturers

1087
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:44,640
removed the compound thiomersal,
even though it didn't cause autism, right?

1088
00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:47,400
Because it wasn't worth the PR fight
and the public noise.

1089
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,040
Many years later,
many research papers have been published

1090
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:53,280
to show that if you compare thiomersal
in the vaccines

1091
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,600
versus thiomersal in an apple,

1092
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:59,760
an apple has ten times more thiomersal
than the MMR vaccine.

1093
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:03,640
But no one ever goes,
"Apples cause autism." Okay?

1094
00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:06,400
Now, this brings me
to a very important point I want to make,

1095
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,880
which is, "Dosage makes the poison." Okay?

1096
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,280
Because it is a biological doctrine, okay?

1097
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:16,320
Something is harmful not necessarily
because of the characteristic of the thing

1098
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,960
but how much you take of the thing, right?

1099
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,360
Dosage makes the poison.

1100
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,600
For example, we all drink water, yes?

1101
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,760
Water is good. Water is important.

1102
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,760
But if you drink too much water,

1103
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,400
you can get water toxicity
and you can die.

1104
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,880
Because dosage makes the poison.

1105
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,720
You drink too much water,
the water becomes poisonous and you die.

1106
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,120
Or if you drown.

1107
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,240
[laughter]

1108
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,400
Too much water.

1109
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,080
I'll give you a real-life example, okay?

1110
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,760
I had an uncle who religiously took
vitamin C every day

1111
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,080
for decades of his life,
but nothing went wrong

1112
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:50,080
because he took the regular,
prescribed adult dosage.

1113
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:51,640
Dosage makes the poison.

1114
00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:55,320
The dosage of the vitamin C not poisonous,
nothing bad happened to him.

1115
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,360
But one day, sadly,
my uncle died of vitamin C overdose.

1116
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,960
Because a lorry carrying tons of oranges…

1117
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,120
[laughter]

1118
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,080
…ran over him.

1119
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,680
Too much vitamin C.

1120
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,920
[laughter]

1121
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,000
I told him not to cycle.

1122
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,800
[laughter]

1123
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,800
[applause]

1124
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,120
If only he wore knee pads.

1125
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,960
[laughter]

1126
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:32,040
Now, at this juncture, I'd like to ask,
check in with my audience, okay?

1127
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,880
The two years
of the pandemic-slash-lockdown,

1128
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:36,400
did you all enjoy the pandemic?

1129
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,800
No, of course.
I also didn't enjoy the pandemic.

1130
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,120
But I'll tell you why, okay?

1131
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,360
But before I tell you why,

1132
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:46,200
I wanna say that I'm very lucky
that all the people I love and like,

1133
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,560
99.9% of them,
during the two years of pandemic,

1134
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,520
they didn't get COVID, okay?

1135
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,840
And the 0.1% who did get COVID…

1136
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,960
because they were vaccinated,
you're welcome,

1137
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,800
they got over it very quickly, okay?

1138
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:02,880
So during those two years,

1139
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,760
all the people I love and care about
didn't get COVID.

1140
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,960
I'm very lucky.

1141
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,800
But there are some people in my life
who I really hate.

1142
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:12,400
And I didn't enjoy the pandemic

1143
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,920
because during the pandemic,
none of the people I hated got COVID.

1144
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,720
[laughter]

1145
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,040
Now I can see some people judging me.

1146
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,120
Okay, look, I think
it's perfectly normal and healthy

1147
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,920
to hate some people in your life.

1148
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,480
It means you live a life of meaning.

1149
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,280
It means you live a life
of consequence, okay?

1150
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,440
In fact, if you have the audacity
to stand up and say,

1151
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:33,160
"But, Jason, I don't hate anyone!
I love everybody,"

1152
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:35,400
I promise you, we all hate you.

1153
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,400
[laughter]

1154
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:44,000
So, I'll tell you a story,
a true story about a real person.

1155
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,760
And because I want to avoid
legal repercussions,

1156
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,960
let's just give this person
a nickname, okay?

1157
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,000
Let's call him Fuckface McAsshole.

1158
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:53,600
[laughter]

1159
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,760
Now, Fuckface McAsshole
is a comedy promoter

1160
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:58,640
based in Kuala Lumpur, okay?

1161
00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:03,440
And in the very early years of my career,
he took advantage of me, okay?

1162
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:04,440
Financially.

1163
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,080
[laughter]

1164
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:07,240
Not…

1165
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,520
Financially.

1166
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,160
Not that.

1167
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,600
Financially, which is worse. No, no.

1168
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,480
[laughter]

1169
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,720
So, this happened in 2011.
Eleven years ago, right?

1170
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,600
I was very new in comedy, right?
New in show business.

1171
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,960
And Fuckface McAsshole,
KL comedy promoter,

1172
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,280
he got a call
from a Sabahan comedy promoter

1173
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,160
to do a show in Sabah, right?

1174
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:34,800
And he was asked to organize
some comedians

1175
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,360
to fly to Sabah and perform.

1176
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,320
So, Fuckface McAsshole
got four of us comedians from KL

1177
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:40,720
to fly to Sabah and perform.

1178
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,520
And he promised us
a thousand ringgit each.

1179
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,800
A thousand ringgit is about five
Sing dollars, okay?

1180
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,560
[laughter]

1181
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:52,320
So the four of us flew to Sabah,
performed the gig, everything went well.

1182
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,560
Flew back home, we got paid,
and everything was fine.

1183
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:56,840
A thousand ringgit each.

1184
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:01,880
Six months later, the Sabahan promoter
let slip, accidentally,

1185
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,440
how much he paid Fuckface McAsshole
to get the four of us.

1186
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,520
The Sabahan promoter paid
Fuckface McAsshole

1187
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:10,640
15,000 ringgit,

1188
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,120
and he paid us 4,000 ringgit.

1189
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,440
He made 11,000 against my 1,000.

1190
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:20,640
He made a 1100% commission.

1191
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:22,040
Way better than my mom.

1192
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,600
[laughter]

1193
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:25,880
So, when I heard that, I was like,

1194
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,040
"This guy is such an asshole!
How can he do this to me?"

1195
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:29,840
But I'm new in show business.
Cannot say anything.

1196
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,600
I just have to eat the shit and continue,
right? Cannot do anything.

1197
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,280
"Yeah, thank you for the opportunity.
Love to work with you again."

1198
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,520
Keep it inside. Just eat the shit inside.
Keep it inside.

1199
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:38,960
Nine years, okay?

1200
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:42,840
Then, 2020 happened.
Virus going around the world.

1201
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,600
People suffering, dying from the virus.
I thought, "This is my chance."

1202
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,320
[laughter]

1203
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,840
"Please, get COVID.

1204
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,800
Fuckface McAsshole,
please get COVID, okay?"

1205
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,720
Now, I didn't want him to die of COVID.
That's inhumane.

1206
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,760
[laughter]

1207
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,640
Just some suffering.

1208
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,120
Just Stage 3 COVID, that's all I want.

1209
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,840
A bit of fever, a bit of coughing,
cannot breathe,

1210
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,640
he has to be monitored
in a government hospital.

1211
00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:12,840
-That's all I want.
-[laughter]

1212
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,920
Malaysian government hospital, okay?
That's all I want.

1213
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,600
[laughter]

1214
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,280
But no, during the pandemic,
he didn't get COVID!

1215
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,080
In fact, he became healthier.

1216
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:24,400
He started jogging,
eating salad, quit smoking.

1217
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:25,960
I said, "Fuck! Why?"

1218
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,720
Then the straw that broke
the camel's back was,

1219
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,280
he went on social media and posted,
"I will sign up for the vaccines."

1220
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,520
[groans]

1221
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,040
So I called him up
and I immediately became an anti-vaxxer.

1222
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,880
[laughter]

1223
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,680
"Hey, bro, don't take the vaccine, bro.
Don't take the vaccine.

1224
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,480
Yeah, it will turn you gay, bro, don't."

1225
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,040
[laughter]

1226
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,960
"Huh? You want to be healthy?

1227
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,080
Go cycling!"

1228
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,920
[laughter]

1229
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,960
"Yeah, go cycling! Just tell me
which road you cycle and what time."

1230
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:56,720
[laughter]

1231
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,080
That's a real guy, by the way.
Still alive. Real person.

1232
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:05,400
Now, I've been
touring around the world, and…

1233
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,560
By the way, I just wanna say that this
is one of the best nights of my life.

1234
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,680
Seriously, one of the best nights
of my comedy career.

1235
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:11,320
Ever since I started doing comedy,

1236
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,480
it's been my dream to perform
at Esplanade Theatre in Singapore.

1237
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:16,800
So, thank you so much
for making my dream come true. Thank you.

1238
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,040
[applause]

1239
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:20,760
I'll never forget this day, thank you.

1240
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,120
And when I do comedy around the world,
you know, I tell people

1241
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,160
that, you know, outside of Malaysia,
there is Islamophobia,

1242
00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:32,200
which is sad and bad
and I hope things improve, right?

1243
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,560
But in Malaysia,
we have the flip side of the coin.

1244
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:38,040
And I remember this one particular story.
It happened before the pandemic, right?

1245
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:42,120
What happened was, this Malay Muslim guy,
he went into a restaurant,

1246
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,960
a halal restaurant
owned by a Chinese company

1247
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,200
and he ordered chicken noodles.

1248
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,360
Now, he made a video
of the chicken noodles which went viral

1249
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,600
because the chicken in the chicken noodles
was red in color.

1250
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,960
So he said, "You see this meat
in the chicken noodles?

1251
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,560
This meat is red in color.
Therefore, it cannot be chicken.

1252
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,000
Chicken is not red. Pork is red.

1253
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,400
So, therefore,
this meat is not chicken, it is pork!

1254
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:06,560
Chicken cannot be red.

1255
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,520
Therefore, this halal restaurant
is serving me pork!

1256
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,000
Meat is red in color,
not chicken, must be pork."

1257
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:16,680
Because… Why is it not chicken?
Because chicken cannot be red."

1258
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,880
Meanwhile, in the same menu
of the same restaurant,

1259
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,240
there is a dish called "ayam masak merah."

1260
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,080
[laughter]

1261
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,320
Which is, "chicken cooked red," right?

1262
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,840
And the video went viral
because the subtext was

1263
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:31,840
that Malaysian Chinese
have nothing better to do

1264
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:32,920
than wake up in the morning

1265
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,160
and then secretly put pork
into people's dishes.

1266
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,080
"Give me the pork, give me the pork!"

1267
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,360
[laughter]

1268
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:40,720
"Put the pork, yeah."

1269
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,720
[laughter]

1270
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:50,440
And the authorities raided the restaurant
based on that video alone.

1271
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,720
And, of course, once they raided,

1272
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,600
there was not an atom of pork at all
in the restaurant.

1273
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,160
It's a halal restaurant.

1274
00:54:56,240 --> 00:54:58,280
But damage had already been done.

1275
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,520
And a lot of the Malaysian Chinese
were very upset.

1276
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,120
So, all the Malaysian Chinese
have appointed me as the spokesperson…

1277
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,360
[laughter]

1278
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,880
…of Chinese Affairs in Malaysia.

1279
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,640
Here is my official statement
regarding the incident, okay?

1280
00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:13,560
Here goes.

1281
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:17,280
Chinese people
will never waste pork like that.

1282
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:19,000
[laughter]

1283
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,840
[applause]

1284
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:27,360
We love pork.

1285
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:30,760
You don't want to eat, that's fine.
More for us.

1286
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:34,040
And say what you want
about Chinese people,

1287
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:39,160
there is not a single Chinese in the world
who will sell you pork at chicken prices.

1288
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:41,640
[laughter, applause]

1289
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:46,400
The reason I bring this up

1290
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,680
is because there seems to be
a fundamental misunderstanding

1291
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,920
of how much Chinese people love pork.

1292
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,120
We love pork so much,

1293
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,280
one of our deities is a pig.

1294
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:57,920
[laughter]

1295
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,760
We love pork so much.
We are addicted to pork.

1296
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:06,720
How can you tell a Chinese person
hasn't eaten pork for three days?

1297
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:07,720
How can you tell?

1298
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:08,920
He will tell you.

1299
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,680
[laughter]

1300
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,800
"Hey, bro, I haven't eaten pork, bro.

1301
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,680
I need pork. You got pork, bro?

1302
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,080
Bro, I'll suck your dick
for char siew, bro.

1303
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,240
I need pork."

1304
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:21,880
[laughter]

1305
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,720
And I bring this up because…

1306
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,480
You see, I tell all my Malay friends,
my Malay Muslim friends,

1307
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,920
"Hey, guys, if you ever eat something
that is dubious, you think that's pork,

1308
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,080
don't have to make a viral video
and embarrass yourself, right?

1309
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,480
Just call your Chinese friends.

1310
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,160
That's what we are here for."

1311
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:40,480
[laughter]

1312
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,480
"You call us, we come,

1313
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,360
I will taste the dish.

1314
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,800
And if the dish is delicious,

1315
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:48,800
'This one got pork.'"

1316
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,480
[laughter]

1317
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,320
[in Malay]
This is delicious as hell. Don't.

1318
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,880
[laughter]

1319
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,040
Even if there is no pork, "Pork, pork."

1320
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,200
[laughter]

1321
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,880
I feel sad
thinking about the state of Malaysia.

1322
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,840
I'm reminded of this one particular man
I met many years ago, all right.

1323
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:08,960
This man was ahead of his time, okay?

1324
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:13,200
This took place in 2009, right?
Thirteen years ago.

1325
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:17,520
Thirteen years ago, I was a junior doctor
in Penang General Hospital, okay?

1326
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,920
And at that hospital,
all the junior doctors,

1327
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,960
we participated in a bad habit, okay?

1328
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:27,440
During lunch, all the junior doctors
will eat just amongst our own race.

1329
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,280
Chinese doctors
eat amongst the Chinese doctors.

1330
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:32,120
Indian doctors
eat amongst the Indian doctors.

1331
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:33,920
Malay doctors eat among the Malay doctors.

1332
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,160
Very bad habit.

1333
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,920
Our senior doctor, senior medical officer,
his name is Dr. Yusuf,

1334
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,440
a man ahead of his time.

1335
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,120
He made the effort to eat lunch
outside his racial bubble, right?

1336
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,560
He would eat lunch with the Chinese,
with the Malays and the Indians.

1337
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,880
Very nice of him. A man ahead of his time.

1338
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,320
He came up to me and said, "Jason,

1339
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,400
I would like to eat lunch
with you and your friends."

1340
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:54,400
And I said, "Sure!

1341
00:57:54,480 --> 00:58:00,320
We can go eat lunch at Nasi Kandar, KFC,
McDonald's, Nando's, Secret Recipe."

1342
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:02,320
He said, "No, no, no, Jason,
I want to eat lunch

1343
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,760
where you and your friends
normally eat lunch."

1344
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:06,360
[laughter]

1345
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,040
And I said, "Cannot."

1346
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,480
[laughter]

1347
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:12,240
"The restaurant where we normally
eat lunch, too much pork.

1348
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,640
There is pork particles in the air."

1349
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:15,640
[laughter]

1350
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,040
"You have to wear the suit and a mask
to go in, you cannot.

1351
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:22,240
There is pork hanging. You have to
avert your gaze. You cannot look."

1352
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:25,720
But again, he said,
"No, Jason, don't worry.

1353
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,400
As long as you don't order alcohol,
you don't order pork,

1354
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,960
it's fine, I can eat with you.

1355
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:31,720
Lunch is just lunch.

1356
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,840
I want to spend time
with you and your friends."

1357
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:35,800
Such a nice guy. A man ahead of his time.

1358
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:36,920
So I said, "Okay."

1359
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,440
I consulted my friends
and we brought Dr. Yusuf

1360
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,240
to our favorite Chinese restaurant
in Penang.

1361
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:42,840
This is the kind of restaurant
where you order dishes

1362
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,640
and the auntie will serve you
with rice and all the dishes, okay?

1363
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,680
So I did the ordering.
And I ordered no pork, no alcohol.

1364
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:53,320
I ordered chicken, vegetables,
omelet, rice,

1365
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:57,200
and the signature dish of the restaurant,
which is a big fried fish, okay?

1366
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,520
So the auntie took our order, went inside,
brought all the dishes together.

1367
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,800
We sat down
and just as we are about to eat,

1368
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,760
at the last minute, I remembered

1369
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:09,040
that the fried fish is fried in pork lard.

1370
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:10,560
[crowd groans]

1371
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:13,520
The fish is infused with haram-ness.

1372
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,640
[laughter]

1373
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,680
So I quickly turned to Dr. Yusuf
to remind him, "Don't eat the fish."

1374
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:23,760
Too late!
Dr. Yusuf already stabbed the fish,

1375
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,720
took a bite of the fish.

1376
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,000
I said, "Fuck!"

1377
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,680
"Jason, this fish very delicious!"
"Yeah, I know. I know."

1378
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,800
[laughter]

1379
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,000
And I panicked, okay?
I started sweating, okay?

1380
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,200
Then he picked up the pork lard,
the pork cube.

1381
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,080
"Hey, Jason, what is this?"

1382
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,160
I panicked. "That is garlic."

1383
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,800
[laughter]

1384
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,160
"Oh my God,
it goes so well with the fish!"

1385
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,600
He ate the fish with gusto, okay?

1386
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,320
Now, I don't practice any religion.
I don't believe in God.

1387
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,080
But the more Dr. Yusuf ate the fish
with the pork,

1388
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:00,840
the more I could feel myself
going down to hell.

1389
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:02,960
"Why am I so hot now? My feet are hot."

1390
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:04,720
[laughter]

1391
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:06,560
He was eating the fish!

1392
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,360
And then the auntie poked her head out
from the kitchen

1393
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:11,800
and she saw three Chinese guys
and one clearly Muslim guy

1394
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,400
eating pork with pork lard.

1395
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:15,960
And her face was like…

1396
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,880
-[mouthing silently]
-[laughter]

1397
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,400
And I was like…

1398
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,560
[laughter]

1399
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:23,320
[mouthing silently]

1400
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:28,720
So, after the meal finished, he's like,

1401
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,880
"Jason, that was the best fish
I've ever had in my life."

1402
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,200
"Yeah, I know. I know."

1403
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:35,800
"We should come here more often."
"No, we are never coming here again!"

1404
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:40,480
It was so traumatizing to me.

1405
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:44,760
And my mind, my brain, put the memory
in the deep recesses of my mind, right?

1406
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,360
As if it never happened, right?

1407
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,960
Fast forward five years later.

1408
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,880
Five years later, I'm no longer a doctor.
I'm a stand-up comedian, okay?

1409
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:55,160
And I travel around Malaysia doing gigs.
Sometimes I go to Penang to perform.

1410
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,720
I put on my social media,
"Going to Penang for a gig!"

1411
01:00:57,800 --> 01:00:59,920
One day, out of the blue,
Dr. Yusuf messages me.

1412
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,680
"Hey, Jason, I saw on social media,
you're coming to Penang.

1413
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,960
I'm still here. Remember me, Dr. Yusuf?"

1414
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:06,080
"Yeah, I remember you!"

1415
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:07,280
"Would you like to have lunch?"

1416
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:10,480
Forgot! It's like, "Yeah, sure!"

1417
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,920
Dr. Yusuf drove me to the restaurant.
I thought, "The route very familiar."

1418
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,960
[laughter]

1419
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,920
We parked in front of the restaurant.
"Oh my God, this is the same restaurant!"

1420
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,800
Memories come flashing back

1421
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:28,800
like I'm a war veteran.

1422
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,000
Holy shit!
And I walk inside the restaurant

1423
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,200
and I see evidence
that over the past five years,

1424
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:37,760
Dr. Yusuf has struck a friendship
with the Chinese auntie.

1425
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:39,560
[laughter]

1426
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:43,320
They are talking to each other
in Hokkien and everything.

1427
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,800
And I can see on the table

1428
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,880
all the dishes were pre-ordered
and ready to eat.

1429
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,960
That is some VIP treatment.

1430
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:51,920
And I saw the same fish looking at me.

1431
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,720
[laughter]

1432
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:55,600
I could smell, that's the same fish.

1433
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:58,280
It's looking straight into my eyes.
I felt so guilty.

1434
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:00,000
I said, "Excuse me, Dr. Yusuf,
I have to go to the toilet."

1435
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,880
I excused myself. I snuck into kitchen,
confronted the auntie.

1436
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:07,280
"Auntie, how can you serve him that fish?
You know he's Muslim, right? So wrong!"

1437
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,800
Auntie goes, "No, it's okay.
He is okay with it."

1438
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:11,280
"What you mean he's okay with it?"

1439
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:12,560
"Because when he comes here every month…"

1440
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:13,720
"Every month? Fuck!"

1441
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,360
[laughter]

1442
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:20,360
"When he comes here every month,

1443
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,720
he will give me the signal
that it's okay."

1444
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,000
"What signal?"

1445
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:26,760
"When he orders the dish,
he'll say, 'Extra garlic.'"

1446
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,000
[laughter]

1447
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:34,360
The auntie thought that
"extra garlic" is a sign,

1448
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,520
a secret code that he knows it's pork.

1449
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,400
[laughter]

1450
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:41,720
But I told him it's garlic.
He doesn't know!

1451
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,440
So for the past five years,

1452
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,680
he's been eating pork
without knowing it's pork!

1453
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:53,080
Sweating cold sweat,
I rushed back, sat down.

1454
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:55,400
Dr. Yusuf's about to eat. I said,
"Okay, I have to stop this shit."

1455
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:56,360
Okay?

1456
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,080
So, he's about to stab the fish.
I grab his wrist, say, "Stop!"

1457
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:01,320
Very strong, jiujitsu grip.

1458
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:03,080
[laughter]

1459
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:05,960
"Jason, what's wrong with you?"

1460
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:08,120
"Dr. Yusuf, you cannot eat this fish!"

1461
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,280
"Why, what's wrong with you?
I'm very hungry!"

1462
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,640
"I have to tell you something.
Promise you won't get angry."

1463
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,480
[laughter]

1464
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,200
"Okay, okay, what is it, what is it?"

1465
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:23,080
"This fish is fried with pork lard.

1466
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,120
Pork fat.

1467
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:26,640
You see this garlic?"

1468
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:28,560
[laughter]

1469
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:30,400
"This is not garlic.

1470
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:32,400
This is pork lard.

1471
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:34,800
This fish haram."

1472
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:40,600
And Dr. Yusuf's reaction
I could never predict in a million years.

1473
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:42,440
His reaction was:

1474
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:44,400
"Why you tell me?"

1475
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,040
[laughter, applause]

1476
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,280
"Dr. Yusuf, this fish is haram, what?

1477
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,040
You cannot eat. You go to hell!"

1478
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:01,320
He goes, "No, Jason,
if I don't know, I won't go to hell!"

1479
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,120
[laughter]

1480
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:06,760
I said, "But, Dr. Yusuf,
I'm complicit in this!

1481
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:10,520
I ordered the dish for you!
If you eat, I will go to hell!"

1482
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,400
He goes, "It's okay, Jason. If I don't
know, only you go to hell. It's fine!"

1483
01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:15,640
[laughter]

1484
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:17,320
"I stay here, eat the fish lah."

1485
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,280
[laughter]

1486
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:20,920
So we look at each other.

1487
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,560
I look at him, he looks at me.

1488
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:24,600
And he looks at the fish.

1489
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,760
[laughter]

1490
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:27,880
And he goes,

1491
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,720
"I can never eat this fish again."

1492
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,000
[laughter]

1493
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:36,600
Then his face change a little bit.

1494
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:38,080
He takes the fork.

1495
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:39,600
He stabs the fish.

1496
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:42,160
Had a bite of fish at the end
of the fork, and goes,

1497
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:44,080
"Maybe one last time."

1498
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:46,640
[laughter]

1499
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:48,280
I said, "Dr. Yusuf, are you sure?"

1500
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:52,040
Now, when I remember
this story of Dr. Yusuf,

1501
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,520
I'm reminded of a time
when Malaysia was much simpler.

1502
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,120
Less racial tension.

1503
01:04:56,680 --> 01:05:01,000
And what Dr. Yusuf said next
has always been my guiding principle

1504
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:05,640
when dealing with unnecessary racial
and religious tension in Malaysia.

1505
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,920
I said, "Dr. Yusuf, are you sure?"

1506
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:11,400
Dr. Yusuf, fish at the end of his fork,

1507
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:15,160
he goes, "Jason, life is short."

1508
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,800
[laughter]

1509
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,000
"And I'm getting older."

1510
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:23,480
[laughter]

1511
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:24,920
Thank you, Singapore!
You guys have been amazing!

1512
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,280
Thank you very much! Thank you!

1513
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:28,320
Good night!

1514
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:32,280
-[electronic music playing]
-[loud cheering]