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Hey, what's up?
Stop where you are!
Bringer of Nightmares!
Where's our old man?
Come on out, fat ass!
Fatso!
Sorry. It's a process.
24 HOURS EARLIER
KING OF DIAMONDS IMPRISONED IN RUSSIA
The last 20 years felt like 100, old man.
Why don't you go and take your sorry ass back to Bathaikha, all right?
Because you're no longer my problem.
Let's go.
MERDAS HERE TO ESCORT THE KING
I'm glad to have you back, sir.
The egg.
What'd you say?
Come on over here. Let's go.
HEAD TO HEAD
Hello?
Who exactly do you think you're screwing with?
You saw it already?
You sent my dad a photo of you holding a gun pointed at your head?
And he said?
-He said, "Come home." -Oh, yeah?
"So that I can hang you from the ceiling fan and turn it on high!"
What, you still got a fan like that?
Darwish, just cut it out! I can't go back home after this!
-What did you say, though? -You're not my boyfriend!
You said that?
Are you crazy?
What do you expect me to say? That we're together?
You want him to hang us both from the ceiling fan?
DAD
WHO'S THAT? ANSWER YOUR PHONE!
Just calm down.
Uh…
Do you love me?
How could you ask me that?
Then meet me at the airport.
Huh?
I told you, I can't go back home to my dad anymore.
The first flight to Britain, I'll book it, okay babe?
-Britain, really? -Yeah, Britain.
All I ever wanted was for him to just talk to me!
-Darwish! -This is about my job, isn't it?
Yeah, I knew it!
Why does he care what I do to earn a paycheck?
Hey, driver!
We're all done. Start the car.
DARWISH DRIVER
Look, I better go give this guy a ride and I'll call you in a little bit.
SHEIKHS' CHAUFFEUR
Hey, not in front of the driver!
I was so nervous to meet your dad,
and then he brings up you getting married to me!
Sure. It's 'cause you're so amazing.
-You're absolutely right. -Mm-hm.
Hey, friend.
-Can I help you? -I'd like to hear some tunes.
RIYADH
Ohhh.
Hello?
Fayadh?
Hello, Ibn Zarub.
Where's car 22?
FAYADH HEAD OF MAINTENANCE
Uh… well, it's safe out in the shop,
But, uh… It's… I mean it just needs some things still.
The car is a dream.
And there's not a chance anyone'll know you stripped anything out of it.
Come on, who do you think I am? I take a part out, I put a new one in.
I mean The Stripping King is what I'm most known as.
-I can see why they call you that. -Ah, ha-ha.
-Pass me the key, come on. -No, no, not so fast. Wrong car.
It's this one!
No, no, no.
I want this one.
No, no, no. Forget about that one.
We haven't started working on it yet. Just look at that!
Quit messing around. Where's the company car?
Can't you see, it's right there.
You told me you needed some cash, to take the new parts and sell 'em,
and replace them with worn out older parts instead.
Yeah, I did tell you to replace inner pieces.
You could do the engine or the airbags, or the gearbox, probably,
but, I mean, not everything.
Are you serious? We're gonna get caught!
Dude, don't say that. Just take it easy.
Start it, go on.
Come on, this isn't cool, Mando. I need something better.
Oh and it's automatic! Would you look at that!
You are such an idiot.
Arabian Tiger, are you kidding me?
It's furniture.
Designed by Barary, not Burberry.
What's that?
I swapped out the navigation device of the car and I replaced it
with the navigation device of an old Russian submarine.
A Russian submarine, Mando?
You okay? What's going on?
You have any sort of affiliations? Is there…
Hey, chill out! It's antique!
It's history! This thing dates back to the old Soviet era!
It didn't reverse.
Because I sold the reverse gear, and replaced it with this great melody.
How am I gonna go in reverse?
Why do you wanna go backwards?
The future's waiting out there, you gotta look ahead!
This is unbelievable, Mando.
Listen, just put this car back
exactly how it was before, you got that?
Listen to me.
I have your money. It's here in my pocket.
But that's it. I don't owe you anything else, all right? I'm out.
Thanks for nothing, goodbye!
Mando, come on, man.
Two weeks to change a tail light?
I was trying to be thorough.
Because, "If you're gonna do something you'd best make sure that it's--
Leave religion out of this, bastard boy!
You think I don't know?
I gave you a chance for the sake of your kids, but you're an ungrateful failure!
-Oh, just shut up! -Now you listen to me!
You're a waste of time!
Get over here and submit your resignation, or else I'll sue you!
That's not fair, I need you to listen to me.
That jerk.
SHEIKHS' CHAUFFEUR
I almost hit a curb a couple days ago because of that car of yours.
It's a shame that you didn't run into it.
Better luck next time. Maybe you'll hit a pole.
I'll never get why they have you as a maintenance manager.
Does it bug you? Yeah, well, you'll be glad because it's my last day.
Are you a newbie?
-Huh? -Is it your first day?
Mm, first day, yeah.
It's obvious.
Hey, how did you know?
Because of how you smile.
-We were all excited on our first day too. -Hey, speak for yourself, okay?
I got a tongue and can use it.
How are you?
Oh, I'm pretty good.
Which car did they give you?
They gave me car 32, I think.
It's your lucky day.
Believe me, man, that car's solid. I put my entire heart into it.
But keep it under 40 though.
Here have some.
No, I'm good.
Yeah, well, good luck then.
IBN ZARUB - CEO
SHEIKHS' CHAUFFEUR
SAROUB THE OWNER'S SON
This is Hammu the Scumbag. He's fresh out of prison.
We hung out this weekend, raised the company's evaluation to 400 million.
What's this? Hm.
Are you insane? You think auditors will fall for this?
Check the last page.
What? You're offering me company shares?
Look, just sign it with your fat hand, and it's yours.
No, I won't! I'm not gonna play this game with either of you.
That's what I thought. Hammu?
Huh?
Uh, I'm fired?
Right. Piss off, okay?
All right then. I see how it is, Saroub.
Just beat it.
Yeah, beat it.
Yeah, get lost.
And Saroub, you listen to me.
If your father finds out about this, he won't let it slide. See you in court!
"See you in court." Get lost!
Would you just explain it to me?
Why's my severance package only 25 thousand?
Darwish, the only reason you're being nice to me
is because you think I'll give some more money to you.
What did you say to the customer?
Tanveer, just let me explain what happened there.
-All I did-- -What did you say to that customer?
-"Damn your baborak." -"Damn your baborak"?
It's not an offensive word though.
It means "your enemy." So it was about his enemies.
You see what I mean? Just give me a break here, Tanveer!
What happened?
Where's Zarub at?
You are?
Fayadh, the maintenance manager.
He's been let go. Now he can get slapped around at home.
Hey, are you kidding me?
All right, that's great news.
-What do you want? -Nothing. Take care.
Hold on, come here.
This your file?
"Final termination."
You removed airbags from all the cars?
I did that so drivers don't think it's okay to get into an accident.
Mm, good thinking.
"Turning six-cylinder cars into four-cylinders cars."
Uh, so we'd save on gas. Ibn Zarub was wasting money.
-That guy's an idiot. -Yeah.
Wow. I like it.
Come over here and sit down.
Yeah?
Would you like to be the new CEO?
Yeah, right. You're pulling my leg.
Plus add on 10%.
Know how much 10% is worth if our stock goes public?
-Guess what? -What?
It's about 40 million.
-Get out! -No, you get out of here, you moron!
I'm sorry, sir, but it's just, uh…
Is this, uh, real?
Come on.
It's your desk now.
-Wow, thanks a lot, sir. -Now sign it.
Uh…
Okay, the termination form?
No, not that one. This. Here you go.
Do you know who that guy is there? My old man.
He built this company through hard work.
I'm so sorry. May he rest in peace.
The hell's wrong with you? My dad's still alive.
And he's coming home today.
-I need you to get him from the airport. -Okay, but where should I take him?
Bring him back here. He has to sign before we can make it official.
If not, then all these signatures mean nothing.
Oh, boy. It's a really good day, isn't it?
I have to go to a meeting, so let me know when he gets here.
-You got it, sir. -That chair suits you, Mr. CEO.
You're too kind, sir.
Uh-huh, let's go.
What a bonehead, huh?
I'm really having a good day today.
Tanveer, can we just forget about this?
Can we just let things--
Darrrrrrwish!
-Go get Saroub's dad from the airport. -Who's that?
He's the owner of the company.
-You can both go to hell. -What?
You can't tell me that, you're not the boss of me.
Ahhhh! Just a second, here.
That's it, relax.
Not so fast now, 'cause there's a new sheriff in town.
Yeah, and who's that?
That's enough. Here you go.
Read it. Read it.
What gives?
You're the new CEO?
-Know Arabic? -Yeah.
Right, so go get Saroub's dad from the airport. And you!
Coffee! Now!
All right, tough guy. You gotta stop looking at me like I farted.
I'm the boss, okay?
Go!
Go, Darwish, go.
Half hour. Just go do it.
Oh, God!
-Tony Al-Mesih? -Yes, sir.
Abu Saroub!
Ibn Zarub?
SHEIKHS' CHAUFFEUR
Oh, man.
Fayadh?
You seen Tanveer?
Did you get Saroub's dad?
In here, sir.
Where is Saroub's father?
What the hell has been going on at this crazy place?
I had no idea this was all happening at the company.
I want to thank you, Ibn Zarub, for telling me about all this.
I believe, sir, that we're here.
This isn't Saroub's dad, you idiot!
Then whose dad is he?
How exactly am I supposed to know?! He's here because of you!
Hey, you said that he'd be an old man waiting for a lift.
You had only one job, fatty!
Think! I just got hired as CEO, and you're already screwing it up!
Hello? This is Sheikhs' Chauffeur. How may I-- How may I help you?
Yeah. Listen.
There's an old man you were supposed to pick up today. Where is he?
I apologize for the confusion.
This is the new CEO, and I'll try to improve our service.
Just spare me all the customer service antics.
I'll give you a half hour.
Bring us our old man,
and then you'll get yours back, you got that?
Absolutely, sir, and where would you like us to exchange them?
Bathaikha.
Who are you?
"Tony Botros
Al-Mesih."
Born in 1950.
Go start the car. I'll be right there.
-Me? -No. Botros. Yes!
It appears that we're not on the same page.
I'm quitting. Yeah, and I'm going home.
You're not leaving! You're to blame!
Sure, blame me.
I don't care. You can both scratch each other's butts.
And I'll go turn in my keys. Watch me. That's it, I'm through.
-Is that so?! -I'm done. It's all your problem.
Tanveer!
BATHAIKHA
This is the place.
Here we go.
You know this neighborhood has only one way in and one way out?
-So there's no way to escape. -You know you've technically kidnapped me?
And in fact, if I sue you, you'll be eating lentils in jail with indigestion.
And you technically kidnapped this weak old man!
Here you go, buddy.
What were you thinking? What is this?
You went and picked up some old guy you didn't know? Are you insane?
Oh, God. It's them.
It's all because of you and this guy! We're through!
Relax, okay, just follow me.
You're braver than you might actually look.
There's a black cloth under the seat right there.
Huh?
Give it here.
Almighty God, save us from this hellish place.
Hey, why do you have this?
I'm not telling you, you'll freak out.
We'll have to… dive in.
I don't know how to dive!
Cover yourself.
Fayadh's ready for war.
Hey, what's up?
Come on out, fat ass!
Fatso!
Sorry. It's a process.
Come on. Wake up. You're not dead.
You can do it, Tony. You can do it, Tony!
Oh, God, please, please!
Forgive me! God save me. Okay.
Whoa! Hey, you're alive, aren't you, buddy? Come on, wake up.
Hold on. Don't shoot.
I'm just getting a cigarette.
The lighter's somewhere in here.
Gotta be somewhere.
Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!
Yes?
Meet me at the council.
JACK OF DIAMONDS UP TO NO GOOD
Where is my father?
He wasn't with em.
What do you mean he wasn't with them?
You're saying he was kidnapped by Sheikhs' Chauffeur?
It's more than just a mistake by a driver.
Do I have to keep dragging words out of you?
The guys we met were armed.
They had a plan, sir.
But I think they screwed it up.
Were they policemen?
It didn't seem like they were cops, sir. Our passports are Lebanese.
If they were cops, they'd have stopped them at the airport.
Who are they then?
Maybe Russians.
You think the Russians released him there, only to come and catch him here again?
Well, I don't buy it.
Because they know that if he dies in their custody
He'll have no value.
So, they thought, "Let's release him and he'll lead us to the egg."
Ah, the egg?
Where is my father?
I don't know.
Where is my father?
I…
I don't have a clue what's going on.
-I swear that I don't have any-- -Stop.
Stop.
-And why weren't you watching him? -Sir, I came out just behind him.
Oh, yeah?
I was with him the whole flight.
-Right next to him, even when I dozed off. -Dozed off?
You don't realize how screwy that release was, nonstop questions, no sleep. I swear.
-You slept while escorting him? -I wouldn't lie.
I would never try to lose your dad, you know it.
You have to understand, sir.
It's okay. Relax.
-Don't worry. We'll find him. -All right.
There, sit, sit, sit.
Up.
Listen up now.
There are two kinds of men.
There are those who like to talk a lot and those who don't like to speak at all!
Right, now you all listen to me.
Get out of here.
And I don't want to see any of your faces, unless you have one of two things.
Either my father
or the head of the guy that's behind this!
-Darwish! -Huh?
God bless him. Oh, God.
May he rest in peace.
Come on.
Look, I know that it's crazy what just happened.
You're scared, I know. We need to be logical.
You listen to me.
A God-awful neighborhood, and those mobsters,
we could've been murdered,
and there's a dead guy!
Logic says to go to the police!
Agreed.
And I love you, I love the police, I love the law.
If anyone knows what happened,
that Sheikhs' Chauffeur screwed up and lost its founder, then there's no IPO.
So can you relax and think?
-I'm relaxed. -Okay.
You stink!
So does the company, and the company's founder,
and IPO, and the world economy!
Get your hands off me!
BATHAIKHA POLICE DEPARTMENT
SAROUB IS CALLING…
-Hello? -Where's my father?
I'm gonna call you back.
What's your price?
The car isn't for sale. Get outta here, man.
-Peace be upon you. -And upon you too!
Is this a police station?
The police?
Yeah, is this…
Bless your heart.
I think you mean those guys who ride around in yellow trucks,
and if there's fire, they come,
carrying a hose that reaches out to the Bridge of the Al-Fahs.
Then they would turn on the water and put out a fire?
Yeah, yeah.
That was way back when it was nice in Bathaikha.
Nowadays, It's all gone to… …the toilet.
Uh, you mean the fire department.
All those good folks are gone.
Once those crooked Diamonds came here, they ruined Bathaikha.
Diamonds? Hey!
Keep your mouth shut!
Eat shit, you dirty dog!
I don't care if that punk, the Jack of Diamonds, was standing in front of me!
I'll say it anyway, it's the truth!
-They ruined Bathaikha! -Enough!
With their crimes and all their bullshit!
To hell with them! And I'm not ever gonna--
I'm here to answer the questions.
BANG! BOOM!
We'll find him, sir.
Despite his age, he's still the King of Diamonds.
He's not someone to be afraid for but to be afraid of.
Oh, yeaaah!
That's it! Look at this! Badass!
Really, dude?
Let's take him somewhere and get rid of him. Enough of this.
What if the gang finds him dead?
Better for them to find him dead alone than to find him dead with us!
We can't risk anyone finding him at all, no one!
-Should we take him for a walk then? -Seriously?
You trying to get us shot at from behind?
-What then? -What thennnn…
I think we need a place to hide away.
6100.
Come on. What does that get?
Fully booked.
-Fully what? -Fully booked.
There's an event going on in town today.
Yeah, I can see how busy you are, bro.
All these great folks going in and out.
Looks like some sort of convention.
A convention of thugs.
Every detestable man alive seems to be staying here with us.
I got no clue what they're looking for.
-Got some dough? -Nothing, do you?
Just talk to him.
Okay, look.
Your hotel's really fancy and nice.
It's got a vibe that's super artistic,
and I can see you're really into eggplants.
But four grand's a little much.
Or am I way off base here?
Hey!
Keep walking.
That's right, outta here.
It's 6100. Do you think I'm an idiot?
Don't you know how to count?
If you were here yesterday, I'd have given it to you for 100.
Now though,
given the situation that we discussed, we raised it a grand.
Then we added an extra two thousand for insurance.
Oh, you know, for when something happens,
a fire, you get stabbed, unplanned disasters.
You mean, if something happens, right?
Are you insane or something?
You're staying in Bathaikha! There's no "if's"!
Sure, Okay, fine, man. Then that's 3100. How'd you get the extra 3000 then?
The extra 3000 that's, um…
To let you take the babe in.
That's my mother you're taking about.
Well, okay, you take your mother in, but bozo stays here.
-Hey, we're all family, bro. -He's my milk-brother!
Come here a sec.
-Me? -Yeah, fatty, that's right.
-Join me. -You'll be fine.
-Come on! -Talk to him. Go on, step up.
I've been working at this hotel for 15 years now.
I've seen every kind of odd duck you could imagine come through here.
You're one of 'em.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
This one day,
a guest checked in, an old guy.
He just locked himself in his room, for two, three, maybe four days.
Well, I didn't know if anything had happened.
I knocked on his door but he didn't answer, so I broke it open.
And I see the man there,
He's just sitting right in front of me, very alive
with three penguins on the floor.
Were they real?
The penguins were real.
I bet they were cute, huh?
And wearing underwear.
Was he wearing any?
So, an old man with a penguin fetish is right here.
The devil's here.
And that would put two losers sharing an old woman…
…right here.
-Different people have different prefer-- -No! Stop!
I'm afraid you're sick in the head. Go back there!
Now, look, either you slime bags get the full amount and pay up
or you can both piss off.
If it's six grand, then I'm outta here. Come on, let's go, brother.
Hold on, now.
That ring on your…
"mother."
Ya know, this morning,
I thought that I hit rock bottom.
Then life came to me and it said, "Come here."
"Here's a new bottom, custom-made for you."
Can you see that stain up on the ceiling?
I really hope that's just ketchup.
-Hello? -How's everything?
Just living the dream, how 'bout you?
You're what?
Forget about it. How's everything there?
There's a flight with seats departing soon.
Hey, listen, can we just wait for a little bit?
No, Darwish, we have to leave as soon as possible.
Anyway, I need to stop by home to get my passport.
And your dad?
I'll wait till he's in bed.
'Kay. Maybe I'll get to the airport before you.
Latifa?
I love you.
'Kay, bye-bye.
Wow! Amazing, huh? Congrats, bro.
I'd let you congratulate me if you hadn't dragged me into this!
Hey, it's all good, bro.
All good? Nothing good ever comes from you! To hell with you!
Hey, she's gonna leave you some day. Swear to God.
-What'd you say? -Yeah. I'll tell you.
Guess what you have in common with-- What the hell's his name?
The dude who owns that website Ozon.
-Uh, Zaffarbeck, or Zahrelbek? -Zuckerberg owns Facebook.
-And there's nothing in common. -Okay. There is. You're ugly people.
You know? But he's really rich and a giant business dude.
He can get any girl he wants, I'm sure of it.
Oh, with you, man, forget it entirely. You're no good to anybody.
-Just an ugly, broke, loser. -Yeah, okay. That's kind of you.
But just so you know, Latifa's' never cared about money.
Not everyone's like you.
In fact, Latifa sees things in me that a guy like you
could never understand, all right?
You're delusional. What does she see in you?
-She loves me! -"She loves me," so cute!
Okay, that's no problem for you then.
Great. So, you love each other.
But what happens when the love dies out, and suddenly, life slaps you in the face.
And there's all these other things to pay,
feeding kids, there's the rent and utilities and buying clothes--
Great. What's the point to all this? Nothing.
I'll let you know, 'cause you'd never have guessed it.
I was given a share of a company
that's gonna be worth something close to 40 million.
You wanna leave with nothing at all, be my guest.
But Latifa will divorce you in about two months.
Or instead you can help me get back Abu Saroub
and have a couple million, hello,
to put yourself together,
Try laser hair removal to stop the beard from growing out,
get your teeth fixed once and for all…
Hey, Bollywood and Hollywood, they all love it.
Just whatever you need to help yourself, out a bit, I mean,
to stay married to this woman for longer than two months.
You know, you're a real piece of shit!
And so you're…
That why you didn't want me going to the police?
-Just to help you out. -To help me out?
BAAM
That was a slap, right?
Just a soft one.
-A soft one? I can't thank you enough. -Yeah.
BAAAAM
Are you hitting me, you piece of shit?
Take that! How dare you slap me?
Let me go! Get off me!
Think of Latifa!
-Thank you. -Awesome!
If she leaves me, I don't care!
I've always been alone.
I'll kill that little punk.
Ow, my face.
What's he want?
WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ME? WHERE IS MY DAD?
HE'S GONE. MAY YOU BE NEXT
THE FLIGHT IS DELAYED..
How do I know you'll keep your word and pay me?
A guarantee?
It's way too late for that.
Here's your guarantee, punk.
There.
That's disgusting!
Now you got incriminating dirt on me.
There's forgery, embezzlement,
all of it.
The whole messed up thing right there.
Unbelievable.
I love you, okay?
Have you got a plan?
Uhhhh…
We're gonna need to get a lotta ice.
Lolita, where are you?
I circled the market several times and can't find you.
I swear, I got the money, sweetie. Don't you trust me?
I'm sorry, baby, but I couldn't answer the phone.
I was with my dad.
Um, so tell me, hun, what do you see in front of you now?
Uh… I see some rug stores and Trad's grocery store.
ABU GHADRA A FOX IN DISGUISE
Great, cool.
Just head straight down the alley, and then, uh…
Um… You'll see a green door by the end there.
Knock on the door twice, I'll see you in a sec, okay?
I love you, Lolita.
I love you too.
I want my money back, now!
My love, have I ever taken money from you and not paid it back?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look I'll kill you if you don't return that money.
What the fuck, yo? Seriously.
Hey, listen to me. You'll hear a knock. And a little bitch'll be there.
Beat him up and take the cash from him. Take what's yours, leave the rest for me.
LUQMAN - EXPLOSIVES EXPERT
Aw, did you get hurt? Get outta here.
What did I tell ya? Didn't I--
-Who taught you to do math, you punk? -Metwally Abdul Shakour! Why you ask?
I'll shove him up your ass!
Hey, take it easy!
I need my 5,000 riyals, and the guy only had spare change!
-Aaaah! Your breath really stinks! -Out with the money, man!
It's a down payment, Luqman! I'll get you the rest A-SAP.
Listen to me! You got until 2 a.m., you got that!
If you don't bring my money, know what I'll do?
-You'll blow up my ass? -I'll blow up your ass!
He is gifted. But his breath stinks.
Hello?
Who's calling?
Yeah, I know that hotel.
Think you're Lady Diana and you figure I'll come over and clean your room up?
What's that?
Room service?
Room service around here is me coming to kick your dumbass!
One sec. Hey!
What's up with you guys?
-Huh? -What's up with all the ice?
-You've been getting it all day. -Nothing, it's just for--
Yo, I swear to fucking God,
if I find any penguins up there, then I'm gonna beat the shit out of you guys.
You gotta chill out.
-And the ice? -You know, it's just…
Look, it's the weekend, and we're all about…
We want to have some fun, that's all.
That's cool then. Take a hike.
Gladly.
Hey, babe.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Whoa! Take it easy, buddy.
Is that how you greet a visitor?
Who are you?
Hey, uh, your gun isn't cocked man.
Really?
BOOM!
You don't know who I am?
Well, I'm your daddy, You got that? I'm your daddy!
Go ahead and say it. Who am I?
BAAM!
Come and say, "Abu Ghadra's my daddy"!
Come on, man! Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy? Say it!
"Abu Ghadra's my daddy"!
Say, "Abu Ghadra's my daddy"! Say it!
Wow. What a stud.
Just humiliate yourself so that he lets go of you!
Off, Abu Ghadra. Spit on him and let go.
-Let him go? -Yeah, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
I guess that settles that.
I hope you feel better now.
Take it.
Attention!
Hello, there! Good to see you in one piece.
-Didn't tell me your friend would be here. -You knew I called a guy.
I thought you'd know it was him. I didn't think you'd pull a gun.
You thought I'd know? I almost killed him!
Yeah, right. It's so good to have you here, Zuhair.
Hey!
It's Abu Ghadra. Come on, bro. Just call me that.
My bad, I will.
You see this guy, man?
He worked at our parking lot for only one day.
The very next morning,
all the cars were standing on blocks.
He stole all the tires, and I haven't seen his face ever since.
Oh, yeah, you told me, that's right.
Oh, yeah?
Uh, hey I got a question for you, there, Abu Al Ghaddar.
Um…
Actually, Fayadh was telling me, you, uh--
How in the hell in just one night did you steal 100 tires by yourself?
-Did I rob you? -No.
Then who gives a shit.
He's right.
What do you care, huh?
Are all your friends criminals?
You might just wanna be cautious, um--
Is he Abu Al Ghaddar, or is it Abu Ghadra? He could double-cross us.
The name means something like the word betrayal.
Hey!
-How about you start talking money? -You're gonna like what we have here.
This.
Just look at that emblem.
It's a luxury car, obviously.
Oh, yeah?
It's stashed nearby here.
Help us with that thing of ours, and then you can have that.
Seriously?
It's all yours.
What car?
I know how to handle these thugs.
Thugs or not, I'm not getting involved with this.
I'm done. That's the final straw.
What's that about?
Insurance, old boy.
Try and screw me over…
…every butcher in Bathaikha'll have this photo.
Your face.
I look kinda rough in this.
All these photos are making me kinda nervous.
Recognize this guy?
How can I? That's his back. Let's turn him over and look at his face.
Just pray.
A farewell prayer.
TRANQUILITY HOTEL
CUSTOMER: ABU GHADRA
The guy that you got in there…
is the King of Diamonds.
There once was an egg. It belonged to a powerful Russian mafia.
One day, the egg was stolen.
And where does it turn up? In Bathaikha.
With a man called the King of Diamonds.
The King of Diamonds handed the egg over to his son,
to give to the girl he loved, Nuwayyer.
Nuwayyer loved art and rare antiques
and foolishly fell in love with the Kind of Diamond's son,
asking her father if she could marry him.
But her father wasn't just anyone.
He was the mayor of Bathaikha,
an honorable man that everyone respected.
At first he refused, but after she persisted he finally agreed.
So just like that, the King of Diamonds, who used to be a nobody to the mayor
was now family.
Over time the King of Diamonds gained the mayor's trust, and became his deputy,
slowly taking control of Bathaikha.
The mayor put up with it for his daughter's sake,
until he learned of a warehouse called the Sugar Castle,
owned by the King of Diamonds and his son.
They claimed they were selling flour, but it was all a drug front.
Just when the mayor was finally about to crush the King of Diamonds,
the son of a bitch blew his head off.
So, the King of Diamonds became the new mayor,
And he turned on the people of Bathaikha.
If anyone spoke out against him, he'd send his thugs after them.
He'd have them killed and their bodies dumped outside of their house,
always leaving a King of Diamonds playing card on the corpse as a warning.
As for The mayor's daughter, she realized she had married a sick man,
with a criminal father,
and that her wedding gift had been stolen.
So she tipped off the Russians,
telling them that the King of Diamonds had stolen their egg.
One cold night, they came and took the King of Diamonds
and threw him in prison.
When the son realized Nuwayyer was responsible, he went crazy.
And then blew her brains out.
And that's how Bathaikha ended up in the hands of corruption.
He Muslim, or…
Who the hell does that?
Good God. It's awful.
Hold up a sec, guys, there's still one thing I don't get.
How is it that the King of Diamonds, a drug god,
who was kept deep in a prison over in Siberia,
has ended up here with you two losers and been turned into a mojito?
He's bad, but there's always someone who's worse.
I guess so, bro.
Yeah. Tell him. Tell him how we killed the dude.
He ate some candy, and then…
-What? -Yeah, turns out, he was diabetic.
It was on purpose.
No, it wasn't I gave him some…
-It obviously was an accident. -No.
Anyway, guys, there's someone we need to see, okay?
And whatever it is you guys are wearing, we're gonna have to fix that.
But I don't have anything else here.
Calm down. Let's think about this. I know you guys are gonna find them.
Kama Sutra, Kama Sutra, it's fine. Let's just chill.
Saroub, we just found them.
Where?
Both cars are in Bathaikha.
Bathaikha?!
Listen up.
If Bathaikha has one guy who can get back Abu Saroub, It's the bastard in there.
But don't say anything about the dead body or the King of Diamonds.
He gets nervous. Okay?
Great, our only hope here is a wimp.
Are you serious? Is this guy really a wimp?
Hold on. Just listen to me. I'll do the talking.
One word from you and, I swear, I'll annihilate you, got it?
Tell your friend he can't talk to me like that.
Come on man. Just keep walking.
-I just got one question. -Ask 60, if you'd like.
Is it really true that in Riyadh
you can walk and be holding your phone,
or be holding your wallet with a bunch of cash that's bursting at the seams
without getting stabbed with a knife and robbed blind?
That's right.
You're fresh off the lot without any scratches?
I got a ding or two, but the rest is still covered by the warranty.
Listen, man, I wanna move to Riyadh ASAP. I can't stand it here!
Abboud, all right, man, can we just stick to the matter at hand?
Dude, I can't help you out.
-Why? -I just can't!
Bathaikha isn't the right spot for me.
It's all in the past now, boys.
I'm moving to Riyadh with my brother Merdas.
We got an interview with a security company.
I just need some time to relax.
I'm not happy here. Don't you want what's best for me?
Well, yeah, of course I do. It's me, man
I'll leave here, start a new career,
buy a car, a maroon Accord,
rims 17 inches, dual horn, striped tires.
Yeah, I know the horn you're thinking of.
-The exact one, man. Yeah, yeah. -Yeah, Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. Yeeeah. -Yeah!
-I love you. Hell yeah! -Yeah!
Imagine me on Al Tahliya!
Al Tahliya Street's no longer hip. The new spot is on Turki Al Awwal.
Hey, tell that little bitch that you brought to shut the fuck up.
-What are you, a travel expert? -Can you let up?
-Shh! -Just respect us.
Abboud, If you don't wanna do it for them, do it for me, man.
You know how long we've known each other, Abu Ghadra? You know me.
-Don't let these boys think I'm a bitch. -I'd never.
Good. I'd break into the White House but not the Jack of Diamonds.
-I'm not getting into this. -No one's gonna see you.
Is he who you actually think's gonna break into the Diamond's house for us?
Yeah, Abboud.
Here I was expecting someone like Superman,
A warrior, someone who could come in and save the day.
ABBOUD KHUFFASH A TALENTED SPY
It's all my fault for listening to the two of you.
-I'm supposed to be living with Latifa. -Calm down.
-Instead of having a good life, I have to… -You see this guy?
-Where did he go? -Turn around!
Behind you! Look!
-You take a look. -You look!
Look at these clowns you brought!
Listen here.
If I ever return to a life of crime, first I'll slit that racist's throat.
-But I'm not racist. -Don't lie.
How could I be? I'm from Jeddah.
What's that got to do with it?
Because I'd be a minority there.
I didn't even say anything offensive, I've just been minding my own business.
-Come on! -You're an annoying brat, I hate you!
That's enough! Look, you know I'm gonna be a witness at your wedding.
And your divorce too. Just shut up!
Let's just speak to Khaffoush.
I'll make sure that you get that Accord with the custom wheels.
'Cause I'm the…
-CO. -C… CEO.
Or just say that you're the top executive instead, all right?
-And he's my tea boy, okay. -Hey, wait I'm not…
My connections might lead to all the… major companies
like Nike wanting to sign a sponsorship deal for your sideburns.
Or you could just do it 'cause he's your friend.
Abu Ghadra, if you're gonna stay my friend,
you're gonna get these racists out of my room now!
-I didn't say anything racist. -What did I tell you?
-I'll do the talking. It's simple. -I didn't say anything.
-It's easy. -Don't be an idiot.
-Get out! -Let's go, man.
Come on! Move it!
-Over there. -I know.
Merdas.
Merdas!
I was waiting for you to come back, but not like this.
Not like this, Merdas!
It's about time that the Jack of Diamonds
got a taste of his own medicine!
-Shhh! -Huh?
I didn't ever know him,
but I'm sure he was a very good brother to you.
And whatever else that I'm supposed to say to you.
Well, so, about the corpse…
You still want that Accord, right?
Who cares about Accord's anymore?
I'll get Abu Saroub.
And in return, you're gonna let me have that dead prick!
Yeah, that's right.
A head for a head.
Easy, all right. Fuck this shithole of a neighborhood, man!
-Hammu. -Huh?
Ever seen a guy turned into minced meat?
No.
Yeah, well get ready to.
Man, it looks empty.
I've never seen the Jack of Diamonds' house look like this.
Yeah, I guess they all gotta be out looking for his father or something.
No one's there.
Okay, better go now.
Look I know some info from my brother.
The Jack of Diamonds keeps everything inside a safe in his house.
The safe has an electronic locking door that can only be opened with a key card.
But he keeps the card around his neck.
So, here's the plan that I have.
You will cut off the power to the house.
The safe door has its own power supply.
And you, you'll be in the car.
Five hundred meters away.
When I come out with the hostage, you pick us up.
And then how about me?
You're here.
With the body.
And just in case, we won't use our real names.
I'm "The Bat."
-"The Nobleman," that's you. -How did you know?
You're "The Racist Bear."
And I'm Abu Ghadra.
That's right.
Yeah.
And if none of you screw it up, I'll break into the guy's house,
get your friend back from the Jack of Diamonds
in under a minute.
Don't mess up the plan, man, Come on!
Are you crazy? Don't kill him!
Listen, how do you expect him to suffer at all if we end up murdering him, huh?
Buddy, I'm watching you, so stay put.
BATHAIKHA PHARMACY
SHEIKHS' CHAUFFEUR
TRANQUILITY HOTEL
Yeah that's right, dipshits.
I'll show you!
CARD - JACK OF DIAMONDS THE SAFE - POWER BOX
Abboud. Please, man, just stick to the plan!
It'd be totally stupid to kill him now. Come on, bro.
He'll suffer more knowing that his father's dead.
Think about it! Just use your head!
Hold on.
What is this?
What was that?
I'm sorry.
Shhh.
I just bought us two minutes.
Café is open.
Shhh. The order's right in front of me.
Way to go.
Three karak tea's?
That's the order.
Yeah! You're the man! Oh, hell yeeeeah!
Shhh.
Racist Bear, come bring the car.
Bring the car, Racist Bear!
Racist Bear!
You got until 2 a.m., got that?
If you don't bring me back my money, you know what I'll do?
Get down! Get down!
Care to rate your trip?
'Cause I deserve five stars.
What are you talking about?
Look you have your passport and now you have the egg.
So I think I've done enough.
What's wrong?
All this time I've been treated like I was an insect.
Like a nothing. 'Cause I drive for work.
But it turns out, you're the daughter of the Jack of Diamonds.
Yeah.
I was scared the whole time.
If you knew who my dad was, you wouldn't want to marry me, would you?
Darwish, just listen, everything that I've done,
it's because I love you so much.
Because you love me?
And what would you have done if you hated me then?
Take your things and leave.
So, you think that you're better than my dad, hm?
You just left!
You abandoned your friends and left them behind to die!
Get outta here!
Go on!
What the--
-Where are we going? -You have no patience, Saltouh.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Remember that phrase.
You got that, man? Yeah, hello?
Hey, what's up?
Talk to me, Trad.
Okay. It's time. Got that?
It's time that we execute our plan. It's now or never. Are you ready?
If you really think so I guess we gotta do it. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
That's the spirit.
You Darwish?
-Yeah, that's Darwish! -You shut up!
All right.
Where's the Cadillac at?
-What Cadillac? -Don't play dumb, man! The Cadillac!
You tried to give me that piece of junk car!
-I was gonna give it to Luqman! -Fayadh gave it to you! Ask Fayadh!
-Don't you bullshit me! Go fuck yourself! -Enough!
I swear to God, that I got a brand new homemade bomb
ready if you don't shut it!
This asshole owes me a Cadillac!
-He says you gave him a piece of junk. -N-n-n-n--
He had the nerve to say to Fayadh, "How can we trust Abu Ghadra?"
I'm a saint compared to you, bitch! You should be ashamed!
Hey!
Uh, Luh-- Uh, Luqman.
How big is it, huh?
-What exactly? -Man! Your ass!
He wants to blow up your ass!
What? You think I'll answer that?
One size fits all then.
Calm down. Quit moving around so much!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Luqman, let's discuss this!
Come on!
It's not cool, bro. I thought we were friends?
-Luqman, why? Hey! -God help me!
Laqumi, please, man! I don't deserve to die!
Think of us as your kittens!
Imagine we were your kids!
I wanna be your playful pet kitten, Luq, meow!
Luqman! How could you do me like this?
Oh God, why?!
Spare me!
LATIFA QUEEN OF DIAMONDS!
The Queen of Diamonds!
Latifa?!
Put that shit out or else you can join 'em!
Whatcha trying to blow up their ass for?
They promised to give me a car that they didn't actually own.
For sure.
It's strictly business! Nothing personal.
You there, what's your story?
Uh, I don't have one. I just came to see Luqman.
I owe him some cash, but that's it, really.
I'm forgiving his debt.
-I completely absolve him. -Seriously? Thanks.
-I don't want his money, I don't. -May you stay humble, my friend. Uh…
I mean, may you be filled with grace.
-Not that you aren't graceful already. -Nah, it's fine.
-It's cool. -I love you. I'd never mean to offend you.
-I love you too-- -Zip it!
You're all greedy, so why don't you all just shut up?
Darwish, did anyone see your face in Bathaikha?
No.
-Hello? -Jack of Diamonds?
Who's this?
I sent you a photo of me yesterday.
-Okay. -I wanna ask for your daughter's hand.
After Friday prayer, at my house.
My friends want to be there, so there'll be a group.
Thanks for accommodating.
Looks like the Angel of Death works overtime.
Who's this?
Hey, it's me! I'm not as green as you think.
If I don't get paid the $5,000 that you owe me, I'll make your photos go viral!
No, take pity, it's fine.
Think of me like I'm your sister.
Fat chance! Like my sister?! My sister's way more of a saint than you'll ever be!
You got any idea who you're trying to blackmail, Casanova?!
Lolita.
-Jack of Diamond's daughter. -Daughter?
Her father doesn't know about it.
But I swear to God, you blackmailing son of a bitch,
I'll give you an hour to ask him if you can marry Lolita!
Or I'll blow up your ass!
So half of it lands in Dammam and the other in Jeddah!
You'll be all over town with gunpowder farts! You got that!?
I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.
Open the gate, kid.
You shut up! Why should I let you in?
Delivery, man.
Fuck you! Eat shit. All right just piss off! Get on outta here. Go! Get!
Oh, my dear God.
Who are you people?!
-I can't take it any longer! -Speak up!
Sir, your father's at the warehouse. He wants to see you right now.
Listen, you go get the hostages. I gotta go get something.
Okay.
Move!
CUSTOMER'S NAME: JACK OF DIAMONDS
No. Oh, shit.
The smoke's color doesn't look like it's just TNT.
It's ammonia.
-How much did you add? -A little less than a ton.
But what about global warming?
It's off cryiiiiing!
Oh my God, Luqman, that's some funny shit.
Oh, here!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Let's go, hop! Hop! Hurry!
Let's go, Darwish! Hop on! What? Hey!
Darwish! Darwish! Darwish!
Darwish!
-Just leave him. -Man!
That girl is making him crazy.
Hey, Darwish! He went back for Latifa?
-He won't learn. -Your friend's an idiot.
I call that she ends up leaving him! There's no future there.
How long do we wait?
Latifa, it's time to go. Hurry. Come on. Let's go.
Hurry, hurry.
As the poem goes: "Exalted honor remains… unscathed
-Only defended with blood and blade." -What?
Your savior is here, Lolita!
I told you not to talk to her!
I got bigger problems than you!
Go, Latifa! I'm right behind you! Go!
She's not yours, man, back off!
Help! Help!
Latifa?
What are you holding?
Give it here.
Give It!
I should've buried you with your mother.
Trouble with her father?
Don't worry all right. 'Cause it'll all work out.
How about playing us some tunes?
CAT SHELTER