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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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‪在過去幾年,我做了不少工作

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‪我明白只要我持續得到關注
‪我就不會有事

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‪我有,我喜愛被關注

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‪我一直想要被關注

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‪當我還小時,我沒有得到足夠的關注

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‪我是家裡的老三

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‪我有一位大哥跟大姊

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‪當我三歲時,他們把我拉到一旁

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‪他們告訴我,我是被收養的

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‪然後我真正的母親已經被美國小姐

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‪給殺害了

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‪他們說:“如果你去問媽媽這件事
‪她會真的很難過

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‪所以別問她是不是真的
‪除非你想讓她難過”

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‪他們說:“如果你去問爸爸這件事
‪他會說我們在說謊

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‪不過是他在說謊”

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‪他們考慮到每一個角度

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‪讓我倍感壓力的是

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‪當我三歲時

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‪我以為美國小姐就是自由女神像

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‪那是1986年的夏天

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‪在1986年的夏天,在7月4日時

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‪雷根當時是總統

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‪他在自由女神像前演講

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‪他穿著一件白襯衫,風吹拂著

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‪他說:“這位女士是位很棒的女士”

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‪然後我坐在家裡想著:“我的天

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‪到最高層都是這樣

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‪我永遠無法替我媽媽伸張正義了”

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‪我在學校一直想要獲得關注

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‪想得要命

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‪我真的...我不知道
‪你們是否有過這種感覺

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‪你們還記得當你們在小學、初中時

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‪有個跟你同班的孩子,有天到學校時

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‪你發現他們的祖父母已經過世了?

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‪他們會得到非常多關注

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‪老師會說:“亞倫的祖父過世了”

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‪他說:“沒錯”

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‪我們會說:“亞倫”

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‪他就像是當天的重要人物

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‪他會說:“在閱讀課時
‪我可以坐在懶骨頭上嗎?”

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‪我們會說:“當然了,你這個小可憐
‪你去坐那裡”

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‪都忘了其實有一整疊勞作紙寫的名單

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‪上面寫著今天該輪到誰坐在懶骨頭上

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‪我們都很有耐心地等著
‪輪到自己的那天到來

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‪我們甚至忘了懶骨頭椅的存在
‪是為了教會我們有耐心

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‪你剛剛插隊了

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‪你是否留意位那個祖父母過世的孩子
‪受到多少關注?

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‪你是否曾經

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‪像我一樣...

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‪希望過?

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‪或者甚至...

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‪祈禱過?

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‪“請殺死我其中一位祖父母
‪這樣我也能受到關注了”

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‪我有,我這麼做了

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‪你們也有一些人這麼做了

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‪我知道你們有
‪因為你們從笑話一開始

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‪就開始笑了

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‪如果是的話,別覺得很糟糕好嗎?

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‪對,這是很超級暗黑的記憶

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‪但是你是一個小孩

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‪而且,你是一個小孩

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‪所以你或許還有四位祖父母

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‪有很多祖父母

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‪會太多了嗎?

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‪我不知道,我只是問問

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‪該死!我可不是說

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‪你祈禱能夠殺死其中重要的一位

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‪你不會想殺了你媽媽的媽媽
‪這種關係太特殊了

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‪你不會想殺了你爸的爸爸
‪因為你爸會變得很古怪

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‪孩子們,你覺得你爸現在就很怪嗎?

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‪等著看他父親過世吧

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‪他會來整套的

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‪他會想拍更多全家福
‪但在拍照時他會更生氣

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‪“我們能拍一張大家都看起來
‪很不錯的照片嗎?”

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‪我們心想:“我不認為這個混蛋
‪做得有那麼好”

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‪所以你不想殺了
‪祖父母中重要的那幾位

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‪但你能殺死...

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‪其中不重要的那幾位

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‪你很清楚是誰

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‪你...

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‪你能殺死你爸的媽媽

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‪誰知道你爸有媽媽?

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‪她似乎沒有做得很好

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‪去問你媽,她有沒有覺得

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‪你爸爸的媽媽做得很好

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‪也值得活下來

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‪當然沒有

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‪她是一位不討喜的老太太

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‪她從來沒替任何人做過任何事

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‪但是她現在可以

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‪她可以在

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‪九月跟五月間過世

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‪說真的,波士頓

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‪當我在上小學時
‪我奶奶在暑假時過世了!

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‪派不上用場

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‪你不能在勞動節時走到學校

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‪說:“我奶奶在7月17日時過世了”

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‪“你現在應該已經看開了
‪給我離開懶骨頭!”

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‪我很抱歉以這麼...黑暗的段子開場

102
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‪但我不想一開場就太樂觀

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‪我有幾年過得很詭異

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‪你有幾年也過得很詭異

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‪你知道,我不想表現得很虛偽

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‪像是...“波士頓!
‪歡樂的時刻來臨了!”

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‪揚起你的微笑

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‪放下這些面具

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‪你知道我的意思

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‪我們都被隔離了

111
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‪我們都過勒戒所,我們都離過婚

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‪現在我們的名聲也不同了

113
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‪沒人知道該怎麼想

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‪嘿,耶

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‪所有的孩子都更像柏本漢

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‪因為他現在沒那麼麻煩了

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‪討人喜歡是一座監獄

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‪所以我們不能用那種方式開場

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‪謝謝,那首歌是我寫的

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‪在我開始之前...

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‪上面第三排的那位年輕人

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‪-你叫什麼名字?
‪-亨利

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‪亨利?好,亨利,你幾歲?

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‪11歲,好,很棒

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‪在整個表演過程中
‪你完全不會分散我的注意力

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‪亨利...

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‪天啊

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‪亨利,你...我的意思不是像

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‪“你知道我是誰嗎?”這種方式

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‪而是像,你知道我是誰

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‪或是保姆取消了
‪突然間你就坐在休旅車上?

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‪你知道我是誰嗎?好
‪你之前曾看過我講單人脫口秀嗎?

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‪-看過
‪-好,好吧

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‪謝謝你來

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‪那麼...

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‪那麼...

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‪我要說的事情

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‪今晚要說的,是我最近做過

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‪我從來沒說過的,亨利

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‪我從未這麼明確地說過,但別做

141
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‪好嗎?

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‪別做

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‪你念六年級?

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‪-五年級
‪-五年級?

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‪好的

146
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‪亨利,如果你之前看過我講脫口秀

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‪我現在感覺不同了

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‪之前我比較年輕的時候
‪我上臺會說:“嘿!”

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‪我在想是什麼導致那樣的行為

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‪那些日子已經過去了

151
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‪就這樣,那已經結束了

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‪好

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‪事情是這樣的

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- ‪《約翰·慕蘭尼:
- J 寶貝》

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‪(波士頓交響樂團)

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‪2020年12月18日

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‪亨利,你當時快要過三年級的

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‪聖誕假期了

159
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‪同時間,我在紐約放縱自己

160
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‪一點也不好

161
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‪很野

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‪2020年12月18日那晚

163
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‪我被邀請去我朋友家晚餐

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‪令人興奮對吧?

165
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‪才沒有

166
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‪當我到那邊時,那是個騙局

167
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‪根本沒有晚餐

168
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‪是一場戒毒聚會

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‪給我的

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‪戒毒聚會對我來說

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‪是我最不喜歡的一種干涉

172
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‪當我走入我的戒毒聚會時

173
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‪我立刻就知道那是一場戒毒聚會了

174
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‪你想知道你的毒品問題有多嚴重

175
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,099
‪只要當你打開一扇門
‪看到人們聚集在一起

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‪你馬上會有的第一個想法是

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‪“這可能是對我的毒品問題的
‪戒毒聚會吧?

178
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‪人們會躲在一扇門後面
‪不會有別的原因了”

179
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‪那天晚上走進我的戒毒聚會
‪我的思考過程如下

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‪“去跟一位大學同學晚餐!

181
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,538
‪去跟一位大學同學晚餐!

182
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‪賽斯梅爾在那裡幹嘛?

183
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‪該死”

184
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‪而且,我參加我的戒毒聚會
‪還遲到了兩小時

185
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‪我不知道大家在等我

186
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‪希望我之前知道

187
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‪那我就能遲到一百萬小時了

188
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‪我遲到了兩小時,當我到那裡時

189
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‪大家對我更生氣了

190
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‪他們說:“你還遲到”

191
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‪我說:“如果你們想要我準時

192
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‪你們可以傳簡訊給我說
‪‘約翰,我們有古柯鹼’”

193
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‪我會提早半小時到,去幫忙排椅子

194
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‪我遲到了兩小時,因為我去辦
‪兩件很重要的事

195
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‪第一件事,我去了我毒販的公寓

196
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‪我很不好意思地告訴各位
‪我是去買毒品

197
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:28,265
‪我必須付毒販現金
‪我給了他一堆現金

198
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,684
‪要付幾天前我買的一些毒品

199
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,187
‪因為我的Venmo線上支付額度
‪已經爆掉了

200
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‪你知道你可以那麼做嗎?

201
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:39,193
‪你能夠以週來設定
‪你的Venmo支付的最大額度

202
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,904
‪對了,既然大家都在這裡

203
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,449
‪請讓我代表吸毒者社群

204
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,994
‪說些關於Venmo的事

205
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,749
‪Venmo是給販毒用的

206
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,460
‪這就是它的功用

207
00:13:56,460 --> 00:14:00,297
‪我們這些毒品界的人根本搞不懂

208
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,258
‪你們這些平民

209
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,553
‪幹嘛用我們的應用程式

210
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,641
‪做什麼公開交易

211
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,689
‪你在一個1555年的老市集裡嗎?

212
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,525
‪仔細聽著!

213
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,484
‪看著我!

214
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:24,780
‪我用一隻肥鵝換十根蘿蔔
‪不要說出去

215
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,954
‪那天晚上我做的第二件事
‪對我來說很有趣

216
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,875
‪晚餐安排在晚上七點

217
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,626
‪所以我去剪了個頭髮...

218
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,629
‪在晚上七點時

219
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,676
‪我真的以為我能辦好這兩件事

220
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,389
‪我去《週六夜現場》

221
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,851
‪剪了夜間剪髮

222
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:59,356
‪這是一個電視節目
‪不是整晚都能去的理髮店

223
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,360
‪但是它們那邊有理髮部對吧?

224
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,280
‪我仍保留著我在那邊工作時的識別證

225
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,158
‪所以在晚上七點時

226
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,410
‪嗨到不行

227
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:15,372
‪我上去洛克菲勒廣場30號的八樓

228
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:19,126
‪走進獲得艾美獎的理髮部

229
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,880
‪我說:“我可以剪個頭髮嗎?”

230
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:28,427
‪他們說:“約翰,你這週沒有主持”

231
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,931
‪我說:“我可以剪個頭髮嗎?”

232
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,558
‪你也知道當一個毒蟲

233
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,810
‪走進你的辦公室要求要剪髮時

234
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:39,229
‪你心想:“剪個頭髮還比較快”

235
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,397
‪事情就是那樣

236
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,819
‪我遲了兩個小時才去到我的戒毒聚會

237
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,281
‪據我朋友說,我是這麼說的

238
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,868
‪“好的!”

239
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,665
‪我才剛去過我毒販的公寓

240
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,333
‪所以我立刻大叫說

241
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,002
‪“在我們開始前
‪我可以去上個廁所嗎?”

242
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,131
‪他們說不行,而我說...

243
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,927
‪然後他們請來的這位戒毒聚會的女士

244
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,846
‪跑向我說:“嗨”

245
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,932
‪我回答:“能量不對!”

246
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,813
‪我進到這場戒毒聚會

247
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,273
‪聽著,每位參與戒毒聚會的人

248
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,817
‪真的都很擔心我

249
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,736
‪他們都關心我的身體健康

250
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:32,574
‪但我慢慢走過去,我因為吸毒變瘦
‪又頂著一頭新剪的髮型

251
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:38,789
‪他們全都經歷過九個月的居家隔離

252
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,083
‪他們看起來超糟的

253
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:47,756
‪我在我的戒毒聚會裡
‪是看起來最好看的人

254
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,758
‪大獲全勝

255
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,181
‪大家看起來都像
‪大鬍子音樂家傑瑞加西亞

256
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,643
‪我走進房間裡

257
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:04,314
‪在紐約,我的六位朋友親自坐在那邊

258
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:08,777
‪另外在Zoom上面的六位朋友
‪是來自洛杉磯

259
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,321
‪你可能會想說:“如果是我

260
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,615
‪我會說‘如果你這麼擔心我

261
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,325
‪為何你不飛過來?’”

262
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,453
‪別擔心

263
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,080
‪我已經說過好幾次了

264
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,419
‪這句話我整晚說了好幾遍

265
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,504
‪戒毒聚會女士說

266
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,590
‪“來,我帶你去你的位置上”

267
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,258
‪我有一把特別的椅子

268
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,427
‪因為我是焦點

269
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:38,182
‪我正要坐到椅子上時
‪這時坐在角落裡的一個朋友說

270
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,809
‪“我以為他們會撂倒他”

271
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,982
‪“你以為他們會怎樣?”

272
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,319
‪“你知道,就像在電影
‪《婚姻有點難》那樣

273
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,238
‪我以為他們會撂倒你”

274
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,950
‪“那是在《獵捕戀童癖》節目中

275
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,583
‪他們不會撂倒我
‪讓你覺得失望了嗎?”

276
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,294
‪他說:“對,我有點失望”

277
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:12,132
‪我坐在我的椅子上
‪面對著這些出賣我的人

278
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,177
‪聽著

279
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,722
‪我現在就把它說出來
‪我不是故意要很奇怪的

280
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,434
‪那是一場眾星雲集的戒毒聚會

281
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,063
‪就像是一個很棒的團體
‪那是一個很好的團體

282
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,816
‪雖然我走進去時我很生氣

283
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,068
‪我心想,“這是一個很好的陣容
‪這很...

284
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,237
‪這本身就是一種恭維”

285
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:37,908
‪這就像是《四海一家》大合唱的
‪喜劇演員另類版

286
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,285
‪都超過40歲以上

287
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,122
‪全都是喜劇演員

288
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,917
‪整晚,沒有一個人說出一件

289
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,087
‪有趣的事

290
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:55,092
‪在我抵達那裡前,他們互相承諾

291
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,344
‪不會說笑話

292
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,684
‪我都快瘋了

293
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,062
‪我坐在那張可怕的椅子上

294
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,314
‪好想來點古柯鹼

295
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,152
‪沒有人肯讓我去廁所補給一下

296
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:18,699
‪世界上最有趣的人盯著我

297
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,617
‪拒絕說笑話!

298
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,744
‪真讓人火大!

299
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,498
‪佛萊德阿米森很嚴肅

300
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,669
‪你們知道那有多令人不爽嗎?

301
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,756
‪他沒有演個角色或配個音
‪他就只是說

302
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:40,721
‪“約翰,我真的很擔心
‪你現在正在經歷的一切”

303
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,431
‪我心想:“換下一個”

304
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,563
‪在這次戒毒聚會的大部分時間裡

305
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,901
‪我決定不去戒毒所
‪也就是“失敗”

306
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,615
‪我的計劃是顛覆主導的女士

307
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,496
‪如果我能讓其他人質疑她的權威

308
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:10,751
‪我想整個事情就會像紙牌屋一樣倒塌

309
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,961
‪我希望到頭來

310
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,756
‪他們會說:“我不知道
‪那個髮型跟自信心

311
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,800
‪也許我們應該讓他當領導
‪把這位女士送去勒戒所”

312
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:26,433
‪我一度站在一扇打開的窗戶前
‪一根接一根地抽菸

313
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:30,354
‪在12月的紐約
‪就像清醒的人會做的那樣

314
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:35,192
‪我看著她說
‪“妳都替我準備好了嗎?”

315
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:43,742
‪她說:“對,不過大家都說你很好”

316
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,995
‪別相信人設

317
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,540
‪有一次,我向那幫人投下了重磅炸彈

318
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,585
‪我說:“我會去勒戒所

319
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:58,674
‪只要你們都不會再喝酒跟抽大麻”

320
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,432
‪全場鴉雀無聲

321
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,604
‪然後尼克克羅爾大叫說
‪“強尼,這不是重點”

322
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,399
‪這令人沮喪

323
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:19,111
‪當別人干涉你時,他們自己也有問題

324
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,322
‪這就像有人發簡訊給你

325
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:24,658
‪但簡訊來自他們的電子郵件地址

326
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:30,330
‪你心想:“好,這些簡訊我懂了

327
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,749
‪不過你自己得先搞清楚再說,這個...

328
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,460
‪我討厭這個,你的名字在iCloud上?

329
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,422
‪你幹嘛要傳簡訊給我?
‪別傳這種簡訊給我,這好蠢”

330
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:40,799
‪現在我們有兩個討論串在進行
‪原來的討論串

331
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,801
‪寫著你的名字以我喜歡的方式存下來

332
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,637
‪然後還有這個新的
‪全都是小寫的討厭東西

333
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,932
‪這麼多的字母,它甚至不適合預覽

334
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:52,102
‪然後他們繼續傳簡訊給你
‪看看是否還是來自他們的郵件

335
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,980
‪“我的簡訊還是來自
‪我的電子郵件嗎?

336
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,231
‪真怪”

337
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,233
‪“我的簡訊還是來自
‪我的電子郵件嗎?

338
00:21:58,233 --> 00:21:59,735
‪真怪”

339
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:04,239
‪他們甚至會用他們的電子郵件
‪打FaceTime給你!

340
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,077
‪你是用小孩的iPad打的嗎?

341
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,585
‪那晚我真的是個混蛋,我承認這點

342
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,755
‪聽著,我對他們非常生氣

343
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:23,050
‪我那晚很生氣

344
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,761
‪他們騙了我

345
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,848
‪我是說,戒毒聚會的本質就是惡作劇

346
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:36,897
‪他們耍了我,他們試圖告訴我
‪該怎麼過我的生活

347
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:38,482
‪他們試圖控制我

348
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,151
‪他們把我送去勒戒所幾個月

349
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:44,196
‪我感到無能為力,我覺得很生氣

350
00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:47,157
‪現在,今晚站在這裡

351
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:51,286
‪2023年2月26日

352
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,372
‪一年之中最糟糕的日子之一

353
00:22:57,959 --> 00:23:01,797
‪和你們這些了不起的人在一起
‪還有其中一位最棒的五年級學生

354
00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:13,558
‪能做這場表演跟站在這裡

355
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:17,562
‪聽著,我很感激每位來參加
‪我的戒毒聚會的人

356
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:21,983
‪他們干預我,他們控制我
‪他們完全拯救我的人生

357
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:25,278
‪好,夠了

358
00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:29,658
‪別為了他們站起來,聽著...

359
00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:32,702
‪他們已經被感謝過了

360
00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:37,374
‪而且

361
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:41,419
‪他們非常清楚,他們做了一件好事

362
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:46,341
‪他們經常提起這件事

363
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:49,553
‪而且...

364
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,766
‪我仍在生他們的氣

365
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:58,645
‪我很感激,我真的很感激

366
00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:02,649
‪我希望我只有感受到那一種情緒
‪但我不是

367
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:05,443
‪我感受到兩種情緒

368
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,530
‪我仍然有點生氣

369
00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:10,574
‪因為...好吧

370
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,119
‪你們知道有12個人

371
00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:18,081
‪救了你的命是什麼感覺嗎?

372
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:21,084
‪太多人了

373
00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:25,422
‪他們可以用四個人就做到了

374
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:28,592
‪我知道他們可以踢掉八個人

375
00:24:32,762 --> 00:24:36,183
‪相反,在我剩下的人生中

376
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:39,561
‪那邊有12個不同的人

377
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:41,813
‪如果我和他們共進晚餐,我得說

378
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:44,900
‪“不,我知道,拜託

379
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:47,819
‪別這樣,說真的

380
00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:50,322
‪你救了我的命

381
00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:55,660
‪透過Zoom”

382
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:11,259
‪如果有人曾經去過勒戒所

383
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:12,677
‪你或許知道這個

384
00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:15,847
‪但是你不被允許攜帶毒品

385
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:20,560
‪不知道你們還記不記得
‪那晚我在參加戒毒聚會前

386
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,104
‪做的第一件事

387
00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:25,523
‪不過我離開那個戒毒聚會去了勒戒所

388
00:25:25,523 --> 00:25:28,610
‪我身上帶了很多毒品

389
00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:33,323
‪當時,我上癮的有古柯鹼

390
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:36,493
‪阿得拉、贊安諾、利福全

391
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:37,702
‪跟羥考酮

392
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,163
‪又名普洛威頓斯特調

393
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:45,627
‪羅德島普洛威頓斯

394
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:48,463
‪對於世界上其他地方的人來說
‪這附近有一個城市

395
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:51,216
‪它對我們來說都是一個大笑話

396
00:25:56,763 --> 00:25:57,973
‪非常蠢的地方

397
00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:04,020
‪我去勒戒所,我身上帶著一整包

398
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:07,440
‪30毫克的阿得拉

399
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,110
‪一整包的贊安諾

400
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,987
‪3公克古柯鹼

401
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,282
‪還有兩千元現金

402
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:19,953
‪那個週末,我有其他計劃

403
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:25,208
‪所以我在凌晨四點到達勒戒所

404
00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:27,294
‪我走到櫃檯

405
00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:30,964
‪然後櫃臺那邊的女生問說
‪“你身上有任何毒品嗎?”

406
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:33,383
‪我說:“不,我沒有

407
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,845
‪我可以去上個廁所嗎?”

408
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,890
‪兩個傢伙抓住我
‪他們脫下我的冬季外套

409
00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,517
‪開始搜口袋

410
00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:45,437
‪他們搜到我外套的拉鍊內袋

411
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:48,398
‪我心想:“他們怎麼會找到
‪拉鍊內袋的?

412
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,985
‪我這輩子,都沒人找到過那個口袋”

413
00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:53,987
‪他們把手伸進去裡面

414
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:59,075
‪他們把這些藥丸跟所有現金
‪還有二公克的古柯鹼都拿了出來

415
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,161
‪記得我說有三公克嗎?

416
00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,204
‪我在車子裡吸了一些

417
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:05,623
‪我還在

418
00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:07,542
‪加油站的廁所裡

419
00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:10,170
‪其中一個嬰兒尿布台上吸了不少

420
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,214
‪什麼?

421
00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,592
‪這就是它們的功用

422
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:20,513
‪你覺得你應該把一個人類嬰兒

423
00:27:20,513 --> 00:27:23,266
‪放在那個老鼠夾裡嗎?

424
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:27,979
‪上面刻著幫派的標誌

425
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:32,150
‪那些是用來吸食古柯鹼的

426
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:36,571
‪當你是一個癮君子時
‪你看到的世界只有表面

427
00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:42,452
‪他們伸手進去,把所有藥丸

428
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:46,122
‪所有古柯鹼跟鈔票都拿出來
‪然後他們盯著我看

429
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:51,461
‪然後我說
‪“那些都是舊的冬季外套”

430
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,675
‪你知道那種現象

431
00:27:57,675 --> 00:28:00,553
‪當你掏著你的羽絨衣外套時

432
00:28:00,553 --> 00:28:03,556
‪你心想:“五千元
‪跟3.5公克的毒品?

433
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,603
‪從我們去唱聖誕頌歌的那晚就在了

434
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:14,818
‪舊的冬季外套就是這樣”

435
00:28:16,611 --> 00:28:20,824
‪然後,他們拿走我的處方藥

436
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:22,951
‪我的處方籤

437
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:26,329
‪不是我在街上買的那些非法藥品

438
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:30,250
‪正式的處方籤,上面有我的名字

439
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,460
‪他們從我這邊拿走

440
00:28:32,460 --> 00:28:37,966
‪僅僅是因為
‪我本來就不能被開這些藥

441
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:43,012
‪但那是我的收藏

442
00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:47,851
‪所有的努力,要為那做的工作

443
00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:52,689
‪你知道要醫生替你開一顆

444
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:57,652
‪你根本不需要的藥有多難嗎?

445
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:00,905
‪那並不難

446
00:29:03,032 --> 00:29:05,535
‪那很容易,非常容易

447
00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:08,538
‪你可以這麼做,或者是我這麼做
‪但別這麼做

448
00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:10,874
‪萬一你真的去做了,完全可行,好的

449
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:16,212
‪去上網路醫生網站

450
00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:20,633
‪搜尋在你的郵遞區號附近的醫師

451
00:29:20,633 --> 00:29:23,720
‪好嗎?然後就搜尋結果進行排序

452
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:27,390
‪從評價最低到最高

453
00:29:28,892 --> 00:29:30,894
‪你不需要往下找太遠

454
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:36,149
‪找到在你住家附近的醫生

455
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:39,360
‪星級評等最低的

456
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:43,990
‪這個人需要做你的生意

457
00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:48,119
‪這是一位爛醫生嗎?

458
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:49,954
‪不是的

459
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,792
‪這是最好的醫生

460
00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:58,129
‪各位...

461
00:30:02,425 --> 00:30:04,010
‪你可以走進去裡面

462
00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,846
‪就跟電影《怒海劫》一樣

463
00:30:06,846 --> 00:30:10,141
‪你可以說:“看著我
‪我現在是醫生了”

464
00:30:13,186 --> 00:30:14,854
‪你可以用他們的電腦

465
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,858
‪瀏覽一下雅虎新聞之類的

466
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:23,822
‪我有一位在紐約的醫生
‪剛剛幫我開了處方籤

467
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:25,156
‪麥克醫生

468
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:26,574
‪不透露姓氏

469
00:30:27,784 --> 00:30:30,328
‪我無意保護他的身分

470
00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:32,497
‪他從來不跟我說他姓什麼

471
00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:35,500
‪甚至在疫情前

472
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:39,504
‪麥克醫生在他位於
‪第二大道的公寓裡看診

473
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,797
‪那很怪吧

474
00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:44,133
‪我去看麥克醫生

475
00:30:44,133 --> 00:30:47,512
‪我敲敲他的門
‪他永遠會像這樣開門,他說

476
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,515
‪“我太太曼諾瓦在睡覺”

477
00:30:51,432 --> 00:30:53,977
‪真的很偏執,但他不會說

478
00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:55,311
‪“你說話聲音小一點”

479
00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:59,607
‪就好像他在說
‪“我剛剛沒殺了我太太曼諾瓦”

480
00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:04,153
‪然後我們就走進他的小廚房

481
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:07,240
‪叫它廚房是有點誇張

482
00:31:08,783 --> 00:31:10,285
‪然後我們有約

483
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,580
‪我說:“我要利福全”

484
00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:16,165
‪他說:“好”

485
00:31:17,792 --> 00:31:19,377
‪當他把它寫在便條本上

486
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:22,088
‪並撕下來時
‪他會問:“要幹嘛用的?”

487
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:25,008
‪我說:“我會焦慮”

488
00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:27,218
‪他說:“那你就需要它”

489
00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,806
‪然後麥克醫生,他總是會說

490
00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:34,809
‪“你想打流感疫苗嗎?”

491
00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:41,357
‪他想當個真正的醫生

492
00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,485
‪我說:“不了,麥克

493
00:31:44,485 --> 00:31:47,530
‪你這個月已經幫我
‪打了兩劑流感疫苗了

494
00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:49,073
‪我覺得很瘋狂

495
00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:51,701
‪我覺得病懨懨的”

496
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:56,623
‪然後他說
‪“你想打維他命B12針嗎?

497
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:58,458
‪你想打一支維他命針嗎?”

498
00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:02,754
‪所以他一直想替我打某種針

499
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:06,257
‪因為他挺妙的

500
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,302
‪聽著,叫做麥克醫生的傢伙

501
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,888
‪在他家公寓裡看診,就一定挺妙的

502
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:16,601
‪麥可奇妙之處在於,他希望人們

503
00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:19,729
‪在他的公寓裡脫掉上衣

504
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:24,275
‪你們現在全都覺得不舒服了
‪但我早就不在意了

505
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,904
‪而且,如果你們認為
‪這個故事的結尾會是

506
00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:31,574
‪“我說:‘絕對不會’”

507
00:32:31,574 --> 00:32:34,035
‪那麼你們要非常失望了

508
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,665
‪所以我們玩了小小的比手畫腳遊戲

509
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,084
‪我捲起我T恤的袖子

510
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:44,837
‪麥克拿著針筒進來,他說

511
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:49,550
‪“請你把整件上衣都脫掉”

512
00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:58,101
‪我說:“30顆利福全
‪兩張連續處方簽...”

513
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:03,314
‪然後性騷擾就會打住

514
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,775
‪說句公道話,或許他就只有這樣

515
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:08,820
‪只是要叫男人把上衣脫掉而已

516
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:13,199
‪或許是跟我脫掉上衣有關

517
00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:15,326
‪性騷擾才會就此打住

518
00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:21,332
‪那個故事有兩種寓意

519
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,335
‪一、現在你知道了

520
00:33:26,629 --> 00:33:27,797
‪你只是不習慣罷了

521
00:33:29,632 --> 00:33:31,509
‪另一個寓意是這個

522
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:36,305
‪你應該去打疫苗
‪並且打加強劑之類的,不過...

523
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:40,351
‪這些日子,當你聽到人們說

524
00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:42,979
‪“相信醫生就對了...”

525
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,527
‪任何時候你聽到有人說
‪“相信醫生”時,請記住

526
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:52,947
‪在某處的小廚房裡

527
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:55,783
‪麥克醫生坐在那裡

528
00:33:56,909 --> 00:33:58,828
‪如果他是這麼值得信賴

529
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:02,665
‪為何曼諾瓦永遠在睡覺?

530
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,212
‪所以他們拿走我的處方籤

531
00:34:10,965 --> 00:34:12,216
‪他們拿走我的處方籤

532
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:15,011
‪這一切都發生在淩晨四點

533
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:16,721
‪當我第一次入住勒戒所時

534
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:19,057
‪現在讓我們快轉12個小時

535
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:21,017
‪到當天下午4點

536
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:25,104
‪我在我的病房裡
‪就在這間勒戒所的排毒診所裡

537
00:34:25,104 --> 00:34:28,691
‪當我剛到那裡時
‪我不得不去排毒四或五天

538
00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:31,903
‪因為我身體裡的東西太多了
‪我在我的病房裡

539
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:34,781
‪我現在已經在勒戒所裡待了12個小時

540
00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,158
‪在那段時間裡,我沒有睡覺

541
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,911
‪我到現在清醒的時間

542
00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,746
‪總共是50小時

543
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:46,334
‪現在,醫生正試著開一些藥給我
‪讓我冷靜下來

544
00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:51,464
‪但在我人生中的這個階段
‪我對鎮靜劑的耐受性超乎常人

545
00:34:51,464 --> 00:34:54,050
‪無論他們給了我什麼,都壓制不住我

546
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:57,929
‪我就像是偉大的拉斯普丁
‪他們都撂不倒我

547
00:35:00,973 --> 00:35:04,602
‪就在那時,一位正當的好醫生

548
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:07,396
‪走進我的病房裡

549
00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:10,066
‪如果你在過去幾年來

550
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:12,568
‪只看過麥克醫生的話

551
00:35:12,568 --> 00:35:16,447
‪一位好的、合法的醫生很可怕

552
00:35:17,156 --> 00:35:18,783
‪就跟驅魔師一樣

553
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:22,453
‪這個傢伙走進來說
‪“嗨,我是亨利佛德鳩醫生”

554
00:35:22,453 --> 00:35:25,081
‪我心想:“不,全名

555
00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:28,459
‪不要

556
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:35,258
‪你要我把上衣脫掉嗎?

557
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:37,718
‪你喜歡這樣?

558
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,596
‪你喜歡耍把戲?

559
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:45,226
‪你是哪種醫生?

560
00:35:46,477 --> 00:35:48,855
‪你老婆死了嗎?”

561
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,989
‪我朝著這位醫生大吼

562
00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:00,992
‪我說:“我的利福全在哪裡?”

563
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:05,204
‪“我們不能把你的利福全給你”

564
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:06,664
‪“為何不行?”

565
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,584
‪“我們是一間勒戒所

566
00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:14,630
‪根據賓夕法尼亞州法律

567
00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:16,841
‪我不能給你第二級毒品”

568
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:18,509
‪我說

569
00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:20,344
‪“賓夕法尼亞州法律?

570
00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:23,097
‪要是我們去在紐澤西的藥局行嗎?”

571
00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:26,809
‪你們看,我以為

572
00:36:26,809 --> 00:36:30,229
‪他是在告訴我一個

573
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,316
‪我們都陷入的困境裡

574
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:41,782
‪他說:“我很樂意給你這些藥丸

575
00:36:41,782 --> 00:36:44,535
‪你顯然是個非常冷靜的年輕人

576
00:36:45,244 --> 00:36:48,581
‪在過去的12小時內,穿著病人服

577
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:53,002
‪跟一雙紐巴倫球鞋跳來跳去

578
00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:55,880
‪都是這個討厭的賓夕法尼亞州”

579
00:36:56,672 --> 00:37:01,552
‪“醫生,要是我們去
‪在紐澤西州的藥局呢?”

580
00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:05,306
‪“我的天啊,從來沒有人想過那件事

581
00:37:06,182 --> 00:37:09,435
‪你是這邊第一位有計謀的癮君子

582
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:13,522
‪坐上我的車吧

583
00:37:13,522 --> 00:37:16,776
‪你顯然準備好飛天了”

584
00:37:18,444 --> 00:37:20,112
‪那是下午四點時

585
00:37:20,821 --> 00:37:24,825
‪三小時後,晚上七點時
‪我終於睡著了

586
00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:28,829
‪他們給了我足夠的藥,叫做利眠寧
‪然後我就睡著了

587
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:32,750
‪他們安排一位護士在我的病房裡

588
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,336
‪確保我入睡

589
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,004
‪因為我很難搞

590
00:37:38,172 --> 00:37:42,176
‪我不確定到底是什麼讓他們這麼擔心

591
00:37:42,885 --> 00:37:45,596
‪有可能是我說過

592
00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,683
‪“我會假裝睡著

593
00:37:49,725 --> 00:37:53,688
‪然後你們全部都想著
‪‘他睡著了’,然後離開我的房間

594
00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:56,440
‪我就會飛快地跑出這間勒戒所”

595
00:37:57,358 --> 00:38:01,612
‪對兩位不同的工作人員

596
00:38:01,612 --> 00:38:03,864
‪兩次大聲說出這樣的話

597
00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,534
‪引起一些人的注意

598
00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:10,496
‪現在我睡著了,我完全昏睡過去了

599
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:14,333
‪他們叫一位護士待在我房內
‪確定我睡著

600
00:38:14,333 --> 00:38:17,962
‪她坐在床頭櫃旁邊的椅子上
‪我在床上睡著了

601
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:22,008
‪我的手機面朝上
‪放在她旁邊的床頭櫃上

602
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:25,553
‪現在,就在這個時候,大約晚上七點

603
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:28,681
‪我的好友彼得戴維森,開始打給我

604
00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:30,766
‪彼得...對,就是那位,彼得...

605
00:38:31,934 --> 00:38:34,687
‪沒有參加我的戒毒聚會
‪因為他那晚在搭飛機

606
00:38:34,687 --> 00:38:38,190
‪現在他下飛機了
‪他發現我在勒戒所,他很擔心

607
00:38:38,190 --> 00:38:39,358
‪所以他開始打電話

608
00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:41,027
‪關於彼得的趣事

609
00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:44,613
‪他經常換他的手機號碼

610
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,658
‪我不知道為什麼,那是他的過程

611
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,413
‪每個一個半月
‪我會接到彼得傳來的簡訊說

612
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:54,332
‪“我是彼得,新號碼”

613
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,043
‪我回說:“拍張照片來證明”

614
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:58,753
‪他寄張像這樣的照片

615
00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:01,547
‪然後我就把他存在我的手機裡

616
00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:05,551
‪很長一段時間,我一直不斷以
‪彼得戴維森的名字存在手機裡

617
00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:09,430
‪有一段時間,我手機裡
‪存了九個彼得戴維森的號碼

618
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:13,392
‪太多彼得戴維森了

619
00:39:15,811 --> 00:39:16,771
‪所以...

620
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:23,319
‪我開始用假名人的名字
‪把他的號碼存下來

621
00:39:23,319 --> 00:39:24,653
‪只是為了要多樣化罷了

622
00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:28,699
‪像是有一陣子他以
‪洛尼丹吉菲爾德的名字存在我手機裡

623
00:39:29,825 --> 00:39:31,619
‪在我去勒戒所那週

624
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,872
‪他以艾爾帕西諾的名義存在我手機裡

625
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:40,127
‪所以,我正在床上睡覺

626
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,296
‪一位護士正在看著我

627
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,715
‪我的手機放在護士身旁

628
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:47,551
‪彼得戴維森開始打來

629
00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:51,013
‪打了一次又一次

630
00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:54,266
‪但是那位護士看到手機上...

631
00:39:59,313 --> 00:40:01,565
‪是這位昏睡過去的病患

632
00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:03,901
‪接到不只一通

633
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:05,736
‪兩通...

634
00:40:07,029 --> 00:40:10,491
‪總共接到五通未接來電

635
00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:13,202
‪來自奧斯卡得主

636
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,081
‪艾爾帕西諾

637
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:23,754
‪所以她把我叫醒

638
00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,178
‪我不怪她

639
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:33,013
‪是我也會很好奇

640
00:40:34,598 --> 00:40:38,185
‪她醒來...我醒來時,她搖著我說

641
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:40,646
‪“有人打給你”

642
00:40:42,773 --> 00:40:44,400
‪我還很想睡,我那時...

643
00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:48,779
‪我翻過身去,累到不行
‪看了一眼手機

644
00:40:48,779 --> 00:40:51,824
‪我看到手機上顯示
‪“艾爾帕西諾來電”

645
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:55,703
‪我知道這代表“彼得戴維森來電”

646
00:40:56,203 --> 00:40:59,123
‪但我沒有向護士解釋這麼多

647
00:41:00,332 --> 00:41:02,209
‪我就在她面前接起電話

648
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:04,753
‪我開口說:“哈囉?”

649
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,299
‪“老兄

650
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,011
‪我狀況不太好

651
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,224
‪不會有人怪你的”

652
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:20,311
‪現在...

653
00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:29,111
‪我會說最後那一句是因為有些人認為

654
00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:31,530
‪我和他一起嗑過藥

655
00:41:31,530 --> 00:41:33,324
‪因為他有刺青...

656
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:36,660
‪而我沒有

657
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:43,542
‪我們肯定在搞什麼鬼

658
00:41:45,794 --> 00:41:47,421
‪我從沒和彼得嗑過藥

659
00:41:47,421 --> 00:41:50,090
‪我在戒毒時他十分支持我

660
00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:52,343
‪所以這段是我和彼得的對話

661
00:41:52,843 --> 00:41:56,639
‪但護士認為的對話是...

662
00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:00,601
‪時至今日還是能逗樂我

663
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:03,854
‪“哈囉...

664
00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:04,855
‪“強尼!

665
00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:09,443
‪我是艾爾

666
00:42:11,987 --> 00:42:13,989
‪我的好兄弟

667
00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,827
‪聽說你這小子正在戒毒

668
00:42:20,829 --> 00:42:22,414
‪狀況如何,老兄?”

669
00:42:25,459 --> 00:42:26,377
‪“老兄

670
00:42:29,004 --> 00:42:30,506
‪我狀況不太好”

671
00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:35,511
‪“我的小可愛

672
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:41,308
‪我之所以會打給你五次...

673
00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:48,524
‪我感覺有人會因此罵我

674
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:52,778
‪沒錯,我開始懷疑

675
00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:59,285
‪當美國民眾聽到約翰穆拉尼再次染毒

676
00:43:01,161 --> 00:43:02,580
‪理所當然

677
00:43:06,041 --> 00:43:11,839
‪他們會立馬想到一位罪魁禍首

678
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:16,343
‪那就是我!

679
00:43:17,970 --> 00:43:20,723
‪現年79歲

680
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,476
‪奧斯卡得主

681
00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:27,354
‪艾爾帕西諾!

682
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:31,483
‪語源是義大利語的帕西諾

683
00:43:32,401 --> 00:43:34,153
‪‘帕’的意思是爸爸

684
00:43:35,487 --> 00:43:38,157
‪‘西諾’的意思是卡其褲

685
00:43:42,536 --> 00:43:44,705
‪他們會怪罪卡其褲老爹

686
00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:55,049
‪這條線路被竊聽了”

687
00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:03,474
‪我戒毒了兩個月
‪從12月18日到2月20日

688
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:06,352
‪1月6號的抗議事件,我還在機構裡面

689
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:08,312
‪要是有我在就不會發生這種事

690
00:44:10,439 --> 00:44:11,940
‪因為我會確保這種事不會發生

691
00:44:12,441 --> 00:44:14,109
‪我會確保這種事不會發生

692
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:18,197
‪在我戒毒前有發生過抗議嗎?

693
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:19,114
‪沒有

694
00:44:19,114 --> 00:44:21,325
‪我出院後還有抗議嗎?

695
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:23,285
‪完全沒有

696
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,287
‪他們才不敢

697
00:44:25,287 --> 00:44:27,790
‪他們知道寶貝J回到街上了

698
00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:37,633
‪我戒毒這段期間
‪那裡因為新冠肺炎的關係在隔離

699
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:39,843
‪所以我們都沒辦法外出

700
00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:43,055
‪但我聽說某些戒毒療程
‪會帶你去外面郊遊

701
00:44:43,555 --> 00:44:45,891
‪我以前待過的一間,那時情況比較好

702
00:44:45,891 --> 00:44:48,394
‪你可以去農場,看看馬

703
00:44:49,603 --> 00:44:51,855
‪他們很常這樣做,這叫馬術治療

704
00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:55,692
‪聽起來很棒
‪但你覺得那匹馬有多可憐?

705
00:44:57,277 --> 00:45:01,448
‪牠出生時心想:“總有一天
‪我會贏下肯塔基賽馬會”

706
00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,660
‪結果牠這輩子只遇到些毒蟲

707
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:06,745
‪“很好

708
00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:09,706
‪好

709
00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:14,795
‪拍打你的強壯大腿給了我自信心

710
00:45:18,507 --> 00:45:22,845
‪如果我能抬起你的蹄
‪就代表我準備好擁有自己的公寓了”

711
00:45:30,727 --> 00:45:34,857
‪我第一次去戒毒時
‪最大的恐懼之一

712
00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:39,027
‪就是大家都會認出我來

713
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:42,781
‪漸漸地

714
00:45:44,741 --> 00:45:45,993
‪新的恐懼取而代之

715
00:45:51,665 --> 00:45:54,751
‪我沒有為了搞笑而誇大

716
00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:59,548
‪完全沒有人...

717
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:08,432
‪沒有半個人知道我是誰

718
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:13,729
‪這讓我快瘋了

719
00:46:19,067 --> 00:46:20,527
‪請別像我這樣做

720
00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:24,156
‪有一份報紙上

721
00:46:24,656 --> 00:46:27,826
‪寫到我正在戒毒
‪而我把報紙留在外面給大家看

722
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:32,664
‪就像是:“天啊,這裡有份報紙

723
00:46:33,290 --> 00:46:35,709
‪快過來,癮君子們,天啊

724
00:46:37,002 --> 00:46:38,879
‪來看看...不知道裡面寫了些什麼”

725
00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:52,226
‪在我發現沒有人認識我以前

726
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:53,852
‪我遇到了歡迎團隊

727
00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:56,730
‪我從排毒病房轉移到男性病房

728
00:46:56,730 --> 00:46:58,524
‪我在那裡會待上幾個月

729
00:46:58,524 --> 00:47:00,484
‪當我抵達時,他們有個歡迎我的團隊

730
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:03,487
‪在我走過去之前,我對自己說

731
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,030
‪“要保持謙虛”

732
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:11,286
‪我走了進去,坐下來

733
00:47:11,286 --> 00:47:15,249
‪我就說:“嗨,我是約翰M”

734
00:47:20,712 --> 00:47:23,840
‪他們看著我的感覺就像是
‪為什麼我好像在等掌聲?

735
00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:30,055
‪然後有個傢伙,連尼
‪後來我和他變成好朋友了

736
00:47:30,055 --> 00:47:32,641
‪他問說:“你是哪一行的?”

737
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,811
‪另一個也問說:“你是哪一行的?”

738
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:36,937
‪而我...

739
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:42,901
‪我就說:“我是脫口秀喜劇演員”

740
00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:45,988
‪連尼就說:“你靠這個維生?”

741
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:51,243
‪“是啊,問你女兒看看

742
00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:57,165
‪或是你兒子
‪如果他不是運動員的話”

743
00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:03,755
‪只能問特定種類的兒子

744
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:08,594
‪我戒毒的第二週惹上麻煩了

745
00:48:09,344 --> 00:48:12,472
‪因為我用外送叫了澳美客牛排館

746
00:48:14,224 --> 00:48:16,268
‪我戒毒時待的賓州小鎮

747
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:17,477
‪只有兩種東西

748
00:48:17,477 --> 00:48:19,688
‪有澳美客,還有戒毒中心

749
00:48:20,397 --> 00:48:23,650
‪但我點澳美客時
‪不知道為什麼我以為

750
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:25,777
‪外送員不會知道戒毒中心在幹嘛

751
00:48:25,777 --> 00:48:29,948
‪所以我給他戒毒中心的地址
‪仿佛那是我家那樣

752
00:48:30,907 --> 00:48:32,909
‪還留下特殊要求

753
00:48:32,909 --> 00:48:35,120
‪我寫說:“不要停在那棟大建築

754
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:40,959
‪開上山坡,找到磚房宿舍
‪你會看到一個38歲的人

755
00:48:40,959 --> 00:48:43,962
‪在戶外穿著睡袍滿臉興奮”

756
00:48:47,299 --> 00:48:50,886
‪結果食物抵達了
‪但被戒毒中心的值班人員沒收了

757
00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:52,346
‪他把我叫進辦公室

758
00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:55,015
‪他說:“這行為太扯了
‪這是很嚴重的問題”

759
00:48:56,016 --> 00:48:57,351
‪我回答說:“只是澳美客而已”

760
00:49:01,271 --> 00:49:03,607
‪他說:“如果是澳美客演習呢?”

761
00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:05,942
‪我回答說:“什麼是澳美客演習?”

762
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:10,280
‪他說:“這次你點澳美客
‪只有食物送來

763
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,491
‪我們一笑置之然後放行”

764
00:49:12,491 --> 00:49:14,743
‪“但如果你留了超高額的小費

765
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:17,663
‪這樣下次你點單時
‪你說:‘還記得我嗎?

766
00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:19,665
‪我留給你很多小費

767
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:23,293
‪如果你幫我弄點毒品來
‪我會給你更多小費’”

768
00:49:24,711 --> 00:49:27,047
‪我就說:“天啊,這點子棒透了”

769
00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:35,013
‪我在戒毒中心很努力

770
00:49:35,013 --> 00:49:37,015
‪我按照諮商師的要求去做

771
00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:40,477
‪當我一開始到那裡時,諮商師說

772
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:44,439
‪要我寫出我的成癮物質使用史

773
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:45,691
‪我問說:“什麼意思?”

774
00:49:45,691 --> 00:49:49,569
‪他說:“寫下所有讓你開始用藥的
‪重大人生轉折”

775
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:53,115
‪我回答說:“你說最近的事
‪還是要從六歲開始寫?”

776
00:49:53,990 --> 00:49:55,867
‪他說:“你六歲就開始喝酒了?”

777
00:49:55,867 --> 00:49:58,203
‪我說:“對”
‪於是他遞給我更多張紙

778
00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:02,541
‪我在六歲的時候就喝過酒了

779
00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:05,419
‪我不是指上酒吧,喝杯曼哈頓之類的

780
00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:07,713
‪我們可以喝啤酒和葡萄酒

781
00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:09,464
‪我小時候我爸告訴我們

782
00:50:09,464 --> 00:50:12,926
‪“我們家對待酒類的態度
‪採歐洲作風”

783
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:16,012
‪那是我們家唯一採歐洲作風的事

784
00:50:16,012 --> 00:50:18,598
‪其他都是中西部作風

785
00:50:18,598 --> 00:50:21,101
‪包含歐洲,“我們才不去那裡”

786
00:50:23,770 --> 00:50:27,274
‪我13歲時,每個週末都會喝醉

787
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:30,277
‪我朋友和我會走上芝加哥的街頭

788
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:31,319
‪林肯大道上

789
00:50:31,319 --> 00:50:33,405
‪我們會站在烈酒店門口

790
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,116
‪想辦法找到成年人幫我們買酒

791
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:38,535
‪過程總是很戲劇化

792
00:50:38,535 --> 00:50:40,662
‪因為我們雖然是13歲
‪長得卻像9歲

793
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:44,875
‪我們坐在那裡
‪就像查爾斯狄更斯筆下那些街頭小子

794
00:50:45,417 --> 00:50:47,544
‪總是說:“先生,拜託”

795
00:50:48,044 --> 00:50:49,713
‪有時候他們會給我錢

796
00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:51,381
‪我就說:“不用,我會付錢給你

797
00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:55,802
‪你幫我買這間店裡的啤酒
‪就是我們在窗前對話時

798
00:50:55,802 --> 00:50:57,971
‪結帳員盯著我們瞧的那一牌”

799
00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:01,892
‪八年級時,有一次我和我朋友說

800
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:05,353
‪“我們應該只問約會的情侶

801
00:51:05,353 --> 00:51:08,315
‪因為男生會想幫我們買啤酒

802
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:11,193
‪就能在女生面前裝酷”

803
00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:17,073
‪那時我不懂成年人的約會第一定律

804
00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:21,244
‪仿佛當他送她回家時,她會說

805
00:51:22,204 --> 00:51:23,038
‪“你知道嗎

806
00:51:26,958 --> 00:51:29,044
‪其實今晚一開始

807
00:51:30,003 --> 00:51:33,298
‪我不太確定你這個人如何,但...

808
00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:41,807
‪當我看到你用那麼多零錢

809
00:51:42,808 --> 00:51:44,976
‪買下兩箱24罐裝的淡啤酒

810
00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:52,067
‪還特別為那孩子買一罐
‪波恩農場蘋果酒

811
00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:59,866
‪我心想,他可能就是真命天子”

812
00:52:02,744 --> 00:52:05,622
‪我14歲時開始吸毒

813
00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:08,208
‪和我兩個最好的朋友一起
‪約翰還有約翰

814
00:52:09,417 --> 00:52:11,294
‪不是我自己,是別人

815
00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:14,381
‪只是都叫做約翰

816
00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,925
‪有約翰歐布萊恩,約翰麥克納提
‪還有我

817
00:52:16,925 --> 00:52:18,385
‪我叫約翰穆拉尼

818
00:52:18,385 --> 00:52:21,346
‪如果你不知道這件事
‪你可能和我待過同一間戒毒中心

819
00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:25,851
‪有一次...

820
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:29,688
‪我們16歲時
‪有一次我,約翰還有約翰

821
00:52:29,688 --> 00:52:32,691
‪我們在晚上的停車場抽大麻菸

822
00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:36,319
‪我們抽得很嗨
‪然後突然冒出一台警車...

823
00:52:36,319 --> 00:52:39,364
‪我們心想:“該死”
‪然後把手上的大麻煙丟進下水道

824
00:52:39,364 --> 00:52:40,949
‪丟掉所有的大麻

825
00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:42,492
‪但他們還是把我們叫過去

826
00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:44,536
‪要我們把手貼到警車上

827
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,496
‪“排成一列,把手貼到車頂上”

828
00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:50,250
‪所以我們三人排成一排
‪我們把手放到警車上

829
00:52:50,250 --> 00:52:53,003
‪警察先找上了約翰歐布萊恩

830
00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:54,880
‪然後開始搜他身

831
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:56,506
‪他問說:“你叫什麼名字?”

832
00:52:57,090 --> 00:52:58,675
‪他回答:“約翰”

833
00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:06,516
‪接著他找上約翰麥克納提

834
00:53:08,351 --> 00:53:10,186
‪開始搜他身

835
00:53:10,186 --> 00:53:11,813
‪他問說:“你叫什麼名字?”

836
00:53:11,813 --> 00:53:13,106
‪他回答:“約翰”

837
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:17,861
‪接著他找上我

838
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:21,615
‪他在搜我身之前

839
00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:24,993
‪他彎下身來在我耳邊小聲說

840
00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,538
‪“你最好不要也給我叫約翰”

841
00:53:37,464 --> 00:53:39,591
‪“街上的人都叫我寶貝J”

842
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:51,227
‪你在戒毒時,會坐在諮商師面前

843
00:53:51,227 --> 00:53:52,729
‪然後瀏覽手機

844
00:53:52,729 --> 00:53:55,398
‪他們很常要求你刪除或封鎖藥頭

845
00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:59,194
‪和任何會帶來負面影響的電話號碼

846
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:01,780
‪某些時候,你會先打給他們

847
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:04,449
‪告訴他們說:“我要刪掉你的電話
‪然後封鎖你”

848
00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:06,618
‪所以他們不會再試著回電找你

849
00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:08,787
‪這就叫做和藥頭分手

850
00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:11,498
‪我第一天時這麼做了
‪我坐在我的諮商師旁邊

851
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:12,832
‪我瀏覽著我的手機

852
00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:15,502
‪我先找到我的主要藥頭,亞文

853
00:54:16,086 --> 00:54:17,879
‪我發訊息給他說

854
00:54:17,879 --> 00:54:20,757
‪“我要刪除並封鎖你

855
00:54:21,299 --> 00:54:23,301
‪我不會再和你買毒品了

856
00:54:23,843 --> 00:54:24,928
‪我不再吸毒了”

857
00:54:25,595 --> 00:54:27,555
‪但我不知道該怎麼替簡訊收尾

858
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:30,558
‪所以我寫說
‪“但我很感謝你...

859
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:35,063
‪這些年來卓越的專業服務

860
00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:38,692
‪讓無數夜晚如白天精彩”

861
00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:41,987
‪我寄出簡訊

862
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:45,073
‪在我來得及刪除並封鎖他前
‪亞文回信了

863
00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:49,828
‪他說:“很高興你能戒毒
‪我以你為榮”

864
00:54:51,287 --> 00:54:52,497
‪然後他寫說

865
00:54:52,497 --> 00:54:56,918
‪“你要知道,我會買毒品來賣你

866
00:54:57,711 --> 00:54:59,587
‪因為我很擔心你

867
00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:03,216
‪不想讓你買到街上的次級品”

868
00:55:06,302 --> 00:55:07,554
‪我懂

869
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:10,181
‪而我得和這種傢伙分手?

870
00:55:15,812 --> 00:55:18,481
‪所以我沒辦法立刻刪掉他
‪我回信給他

871
00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:20,525
‪我寫說:“你這人真體貼”

872
00:55:22,986 --> 00:55:27,157
‪我說:“你買藥只為了要賣給我?”

873
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:28,992
‪他說:“對”

874
00:55:30,076 --> 00:55:34,039
‪我問說:“你有賣藥給別人過嗎?”

875
00:55:35,623 --> 00:55:36,541
‪他說:“沒有”

876
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:43,590
‪接著我說
‪“現在問這件事好像怪怪的

877
00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:46,384
‪但你是藥頭嗎?”

878
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:52,223
‪他說:“不,我是畫家
‪我們聊過這件事了”

879
00:55:57,437 --> 00:56:00,398
‪波士頓的各位,直到今天

880
00:56:01,441 --> 00:56:06,112
‪我依舊不知道我是怎麼認識他的

881
00:56:11,826 --> 00:56:13,369
‪所以我回信給他

882
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:15,538
‪我說

883
00:56:16,247 --> 00:56:20,293
‪“為什麼到最後...

884
00:56:23,588 --> 00:56:25,632
‪你開始賣藥給我?”

885
00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:28,009
‪他回信說

886
00:56:28,968 --> 00:56:32,639
‪“我不知道,你一直問我”

887
00:56:35,558 --> 00:56:36,935
‪我喜歡這故事

888
00:56:37,811 --> 00:56:41,272
‪因為有非常多故事都在說

889
00:56:41,272 --> 00:56:44,859
‪藥頭讓無辜的人變成毒蟲

890
00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:49,823
‪我可能是第一個毒蟲

891
00:56:51,032 --> 00:56:52,784
‪把無辜的人

892
00:56:54,410 --> 00:56:55,829
‪變成藥頭

893
00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:59,124
‪這我敢肯定

894
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,134
‪在戒毒中心,我們經常坐成一圈

895
00:57:09,717 --> 00:57:11,719
‪我們會坐在一起分享故事

896
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:15,014
‪分享自己曾為了獲得毒品有多拼命

897
00:57:15,807 --> 00:57:18,601
‪而現在我想分享其中一段給你們

898
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,438
‪我先講一下故事的背景

899
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:25,108
‪在2020年1月

900
00:57:25,608 --> 00:57:27,777
‪我對古柯鹼重度成癮

901
00:57:27,777 --> 00:57:29,028
‪我想停止吸毒

902
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:32,490
‪所以比起和戒毒諮商師談

903
00:57:32,490 --> 00:57:34,200
‪或是任何類型的諮商師

904
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:37,954
‪或是治療師,或醫生
‪或者人生中遇過的任何人

905
00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,165
‪我打給了我的會計

906
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,626
‪我就說:“我對古柯鹼成癮

907
00:57:44,419 --> 00:57:46,379
‪你得停止給我錢

908
00:57:46,921 --> 00:57:49,007
‪別給我任何現金”

909
00:57:49,007 --> 00:57:51,217
‪他說:“天啊,我幹這行
‪不是為了做這種事”

910
00:57:52,927 --> 00:57:57,348
‪我說:“唯一能給我錢的情況
‪就是我寄電子郵件,並且給醫生副本

911
00:57:57,348 --> 00:57:58,808
‪這是新的規則”

912
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:00,477
‪我掛斷電話

913
00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:03,062
‪我馬上就對這規則不爽了

914
00:58:05,106 --> 00:58:06,691
‪我心想:“這是我的錢

915
00:58:07,942 --> 00:58:11,321
‪這傢伙想要我寄電子郵件給他
‪還有我的醫生?”

916
00:58:13,114 --> 00:58:15,450
‪我沒有拿起電話直接打回去給他

917
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,619
‪說:“這個新規則取消了”

918
00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:19,704
‪我完全有能力這麼做,我都成年了

919
00:58:19,704 --> 00:58:21,039
‪而且他替我工作

920
00:58:21,039 --> 00:58:23,750
‪反之,我花了接下來的六個月

921
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:28,046
‪找出一個巧妙的辦法,從我自己身上

922
00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:30,006
‪偷我自己的錢

923
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:36,054
‪在2020年10月,我對毒品極度上癮

924
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,181
‪我十分渴求古柯鹼

925
00:58:38,973 --> 00:58:43,019
‪而我發現我還有能用的信用卡

926
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:47,690
‪我決定我要用信用卡

927
00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:49,442
‪去買勞力士

928
00:58:49,984 --> 00:58:51,694
‪然後買完五分鐘後

929
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:53,655
‪去當鋪兌現

930
00:58:55,490 --> 00:58:57,200
‪我很擅長讀懂現場的氣氛

931
00:58:58,201 --> 00:59:01,037
‪你們很佩服我的計畫

932
00:59:04,082 --> 00:59:06,543
‪所以,2020年10月的某一天

933
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:09,796
‪外面是高溫100度華氏

934
00:59:09,796 --> 00:59:14,926
‪我走進曼哈頓
‪麥迪遜大道的勞力士店面

935
00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:15,843
‪我走進去

936
00:59:15,843 --> 00:59:17,845
‪所有人都穿著西裝

937
00:59:17,845 --> 00:59:21,349
‪他們說些:“手錶...瑞士...”

938
00:59:21,849 --> 00:59:23,476
‪動起來就像電動人偶一樣

939
00:59:24,477 --> 00:59:25,353
‪我走進去

940
00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:29,107
‪穿著淺色的牛仔褲
‪腳踝的褲管摺了兩摺

941
00:59:29,107 --> 00:59:33,027
‪白色的Reebok布鞋,白色襪子
‪超長版的白色T恤

942
00:59:33,027 --> 00:59:34,445
‪還有一頂白色棒球帽

943
00:59:34,445 --> 00:59:36,114
‪嘴裡嚼著尼古丁咀嚼錠

944
00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:41,035
‪揹著平價背包
‪而且背帶收緊到最高的地方

945
00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:43,496
‪我38歲了

946
00:59:46,165 --> 00:59:47,333
‪我走進店裡

947
00:59:47,333 --> 00:59:50,169
‪走到我看見的第一個展示櫃

948
00:59:50,169 --> 00:59:52,380
‪然後說:“那一支,嗨!

949
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:53,965
‪就是那一支,我喜歡那支錶

950
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,758
‪我想要那支錶,謝謝”

951
00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:58,469
‪銷售員轉過身來
‪手上已經準備好手帕

952
00:59:58,469 --> 00:59:59,679
‪就像魔術師那樣

953
01:00:00,638 --> 01:00:01,472
‪他說...

954
01:00:03,016 --> 01:00:06,102
‪“看來你想找玫瑰金的手錶

955
01:00:06,102 --> 01:00:08,521
‪您還想看看其他錶款嗎?”

956
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:11,149
‪我就說:“不,不用
‪我對錶款沒興趣

957
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:13,526
‪手錶就好,我就是要那一款

958
01:00:13,526 --> 01:00:14,485
‪我有研究過了

959
01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:17,238
‪我對它瞭如指掌,請把那支錶給我”

960
01:00:17,238 --> 01:00:20,033
‪他打開展示櫃,把手錶拿出來

961
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:22,660
‪手錶放在麂皮面上,你懂的

962
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:26,581
‪他說:“您想試戴看看嗎?”

963
01:00:26,581 --> 01:00:28,458
‪我就說:“沒時間了,不用

964
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,168
‪不是要給我的

965
01:00:30,168 --> 01:00:33,588
‪是要給我哥哥的
‪我對他的手腕很了解

966
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,591
‪如果你們是兄弟,就會看到...

967
01:00:36,716 --> 01:00:38,343
‪我們住同一間房間,我看過他的手腕

968
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,762
‪我知道這支錶很完美”

969
01:00:41,512 --> 01:00:43,931
‪他說:“原來是給哥哥的禮物

970
01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:49,479
‪請告訴我,你哥哥帶哪一種戒指?”

971
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:50,688
‪我說...“什麼?”

972
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,150
‪這是什麼謎語嗎?

973
01:00:56,569 --> 01:01:00,156
‪這是某種耶魯大學白人社團的
‪入會儀式嗎?

974
01:01:01,491 --> 01:01:04,077
‪“他帶哪一種戒指
‪這是什麼意思?”

975
01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:05,328
‪他說:“這個嘛...

976
01:01:05,995 --> 01:01:10,833
‪如果你哥哥戴著黃K金或白金戒指

977
01:01:10,833 --> 01:01:13,461
‪玫瑰金手錶可能不適合他

978
01:01:14,003 --> 01:01:17,590
‪您應該也知道
‪永遠不要混搭不同金屬”

979
01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:21,594
‪我就說:“首先,我覺得被冒犯了
‪因為你認為我不一定懂這件事

980
01:01:23,137 --> 01:01:26,057
‪我非常了解這件事,還有其他許多事

981
01:01:28,059 --> 01:01:29,102
‪我從不混搭...

982
01:01:29,102 --> 01:01:32,271
‪我才不會把鋁罐放在熱水壺旁邊

983
01:01:32,271 --> 01:01:35,274
‪我不會把喇叭放在暖氣上

984
01:01:35,942 --> 01:01:39,862
‪要說我老派也行
‪但我堅定支持隔離制度

985
01:01:39,862 --> 01:01:43,658
‪你沒聽錯,家裡的金屬必須隔離開來

986
01:01:44,742 --> 01:01:48,121
‪其次,我哥哥沒有戒指
‪以後也不會有

987
01:01:48,246 --> 01:01:50,373
‪他永遠不會戴,我哥哥沒有手指

988
01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:51,374
‪他只有殘肢

989
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:53,668
‪他的手只剩下殘肢

990
01:01:54,043 --> 01:01:56,421
‪所以才需要手錶,你不懂嗎?

991
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:59,882
‪手錶可以讓殘肢更美觀
‪這樣他往下看

992
01:01:59,882 --> 01:02:02,885
‪看到醜陋的殘肢時
‪就能看到漂亮的手錶

993
01:02:02,885 --> 01:02:06,347
‪他會想到他弟弟的慷慨之心

994
01:02:06,347 --> 01:02:10,059
‪而不會想到因為攪拌機事故
‪而喪失的指頭

995
01:02:10,977 --> 01:02:12,478
‪總之請把錶賣給我”

996
01:02:15,022 --> 01:02:18,943
‪他拿出了綠色的勞力士盒子
‪打開盒子,把錶放進去

997
01:02:18,943 --> 01:02:21,446
‪盒子裡還有一張硬紙卡

998
01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:24,907
‪他拿出一枝鋼筆
‪在那張卡片上寫東西

999
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:26,659
‪我覺得他寫太久了

1000
01:02:27,910 --> 01:02:31,164
‪我心想:“天啊
‪他是要給手錶寫信嗎?”

1001
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:32,790
‪他知道我要典當掉手錶

1002
01:02:32,790 --> 01:02:35,209
‪想要留下一封信
‪讓別人知道手錶從哪裡來的

1003
01:02:35,209 --> 01:02:38,463
‪整間店的人都知道我要當掉這支手錶

1004
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:41,299
‪他們覺得我很低賤,但我可不是
‪我就是神

1005
01:02:41,299 --> 01:02:43,259
‪我腦袋裡面的念頭就是這樣

1006
01:02:44,385 --> 01:02:47,555
‪他拿出緞帶
‪我就說:“不用,不需要禮物包裝”

1007
01:02:48,973 --> 01:02:52,268
‪他說:“您不是說這是禮物嗎?”

1008
01:02:52,268 --> 01:02:54,979
‪我就說:“不了
‪我和我哥不喜歡緞帶

1009
01:02:55,271 --> 01:02:58,065
‪我們不追求花俏,我就直接經過他家

1010
01:02:58,065 --> 01:03:00,276
‪把手錶丟過去

1011
01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:02,278
‪他會用殘肢接住的

1012
01:03:02,820 --> 01:03:04,989
‪我可不能拿著有精美緞帶的盒子

1013
01:03:04,989 --> 01:03:09,368
‪我哥要怎麼解開緞帶?我告訴過你了

1014
01:03:09,368 --> 01:03:14,081
‪我已經告訴你他的狀況了
‪結果你還給我這些...

1015
01:03:14,081 --> 01:03:16,709
‪你要他怎麼辦?用牙齒打開嗎?

1016
01:03:16,709 --> 01:03:18,586
‪把手錶給我,我要拿來買古柯鹼”

1017
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:25,259
‪他拿走我的信用卡,刷下去

1018
01:03:26,427 --> 01:03:29,680
‪把卡還給我,拿出勞力士的購物袋

1019
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:34,227
‪我馬上把我的平價背包轉到正面
‪拉開拉鍊

1020
01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:35,728
‪然後說:“不需要”

1021
01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:40,691
‪他把手錶盒放進背包裡

1022
01:03:41,317 --> 01:03:44,946
‪我拉起拉鍊,我甚至還沒踏出店門口

1023
01:03:44,946 --> 01:03:47,657
‪就拿出手機搜尋

1024
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:50,660
‪“哪裡可以立刻賣錶,紐約市”

1025
01:03:51,702 --> 01:03:56,582
‪這地方叫“立刻賣你的錶,紐約市”
‪這個搜尋結果直接跳出來

1026
01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:59,877
‪我心想:“這鎮上終於有人懂我了”

1027
01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:02,839
‪我打給那個地方,然後說

1028
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:07,218
‪“哈囉,是的,我要賣一支勞力士錶
‪我可以今天去嗎?”

1029
01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:09,720
‪對方說:“沒問題
‪請問您什麼時候抵達?”

1030
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,474
‪我就說:“大概兩分鐘路程
‪我正往你的店飛奔過去

1031
01:04:13,474 --> 01:04:14,892
‪大概一分鐘後到”

1032
01:04:14,892 --> 01:04:17,228
‪然後他說:“好,我在對面吃午餐

1033
01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:18,646
‪我現在也跑起來了”

1034
01:04:18,646 --> 01:04:21,440
‪現在他和我都在47號街上奔跑

1035
01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:25,695
‪我的背包在我身後左搖右晃

1036
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:27,363
‪就像在綜藝節目裡

1037
01:04:27,363 --> 01:04:30,199
‪那些跳上跳下的老奶奶胸部那樣

1038
01:04:31,492 --> 01:04:34,745
‪我們抵達他的店面
‪就在那種大型鑽石店面樓上

1039
01:04:34,745 --> 01:04:36,747
‪但他的辦公室在樓上
‪所以我們要上樓

1040
01:04:36,747 --> 01:04:38,875
‪他打開兩道防彈玻璃門

1041
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,459
‪你們有看過《原鑽》

1042
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:46,257
‪我們走進他的辦公室
‪坐了下來,現在我得轉變形象

1043
01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:48,718
‪因為我整個早上都在發神經

1044
01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:50,678
‪但現在我要賣手錶

1045
01:04:50,678 --> 01:04:53,306
‪賣錶時我不能有急迫的樣子

1046
01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:55,516
‪我得談個好價錢

1047
01:04:55,516 --> 01:04:57,602
‪所以我得要非常冷靜

1048
01:04:58,227 --> 01:05:00,104
‪所以我緩慢的脫下背包

1049
01:05:00,771 --> 01:05:05,026
‪露出我身上有背帶和後背的明顯汗漬

1050
01:05:06,444 --> 01:05:09,363
‪他遞給我水,但我馬上拒絕了

1051
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:13,200
‪即使我的嘴唇乾到黏著我的牙齒

1052
01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:18,664
‪我說:“哈囉
‪我有一支漂亮的錶想要賣

1053
01:05:18,664 --> 01:05:20,249
‪我不急著賣掉這支錶

1054
01:05:20,958 --> 01:05:22,668
‪我已經持有好幾年了

1055
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:27,340
‪我也從沒穿戴過,所以狀態很完美”

1056
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,467
‪他問說
‪“你持有這支錶好幾年了?”

1057
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:30,885
‪我說:“正是如此”

1058
01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:32,762
‪他問說:“那你怎麼不戴?”

1059
01:05:32,887 --> 01:05:36,182
‪我回答說:“我很樂意戴上這支錶

1060
01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:40,019
‪但你看,我戴著戒指...

1061
01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:46,400
‪材質是黃K金和白金

1062
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:51,238
‪而我們都知道...

1063
01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:55,159
‪不應該把不同金屬糊在一起”

1064
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:03,084
‪對方打開勞力士錶盒
‪他在裡面看到那張紙卡

1065
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,544
‪就是剛剛店員用鋼筆寫的那張

1066
01:06:05,670 --> 01:06:09,215
‪他看了那張卡,看著我
‪再看著那張卡

1067
01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:12,760
‪他說:“你說你持有這支錶
‪好幾年了?”

1068
01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:15,096
‪我說:“嗯”

1069
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:17,264
‪他說:“上面的日期是今天”

1070
01:06:19,725 --> 01:06:23,062
‪我就說:“沒錯”

1071
01:06:25,856 --> 01:06:27,149
‪而我盯著他看...

1072
01:06:28,442 --> 01:06:32,655
‪試著發揮這個重度用藥的身體中
‪僅有的魅力

1073
01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:36,117
‪希望我能找到辦法扭曲邏輯

1074
01:06:37,284 --> 01:06:39,954
‪讓這兩件事同時成立

1075
01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:43,290
‪我持有這支錶好幾年了

1076
01:06:44,083 --> 01:06:47,461
‪而上面的日期是今天

1077
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:55,845
‪此時,他發現他掌握了交涉的主動權

1078
01:06:57,888 --> 01:07:01,183
‪我買這支錶花了一萬二

1079
01:07:03,185 --> 01:07:05,980
‪在你們感到震驚以前

1080
01:07:08,315 --> 01:07:12,945
‪請記住,手錶的貶值...

1081
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:17,074
‪從離開店面的瞬間就開始了

1082
01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:23,706
‪我買手錶花了一萬二

1083
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:27,084
‪他開價:“五千”,我說:“不行”

1084
01:07:27,084 --> 01:07:29,503
‪他說:“六千”,我回答:“好”

1085
01:07:32,548 --> 01:07:33,632
‪我感覺到你們的批判

1086
01:07:35,509 --> 01:07:37,219
‪你們肯定覺得我很笨

1087
01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:39,930
‪讓我問問你們

1088
01:07:41,265 --> 01:07:43,142
‪要不你試著提出更好的辦法

1089
01:07:44,185 --> 01:07:46,145
‪能在五分鐘內

1090
01:07:47,146 --> 01:07:48,439
‪只花一萬二...

1091
01:07:50,232 --> 01:07:55,696
‪來賺...六千元?

1092
01:07:58,783 --> 01:07:59,784
‪而且...

1093
01:08:02,244 --> 01:08:06,874
‪就在你認為這個故事有多糟糕

1094
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:11,545
‪浪費且完全不討喜時

1095
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:14,006
‪請記住

1096
01:08:15,257 --> 01:08:17,176
‪這是我願意和你們分享的故事

1097
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:31,273
‪身為一個戒毒中的毒蟲很怪

1098
01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:34,860
‪身為毒蟲也很怪
‪但至少我當時正在吸食毒品

1099
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:39,031
‪有時候會有點奇怪
‪感覺就像我過得很好

1100
01:08:39,031 --> 01:08:43,077
‪但當我獨處時
‪我正陪著試圖殺我的人

1101
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:47,915
‪有時我走經過鏡子時,會心想
‪“又是這傢伙,該死”

1102
01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,627
‪有時候會有這種很毛的感覺

1103
01:08:52,253 --> 01:08:53,796
‪但這種感覺也不錯

1104
01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:56,966
‪這莫名給了我某種自信心

1105
01:08:57,675 --> 01:09:03,222
‪因為以前我會在意所有人對我的看法

1106
01:09:04,098 --> 01:09:06,016
‪十分看重,那時我只在意這件事

1107
01:09:06,016 --> 01:09:08,853
‪那時我只在意別人怎麼看待我

1108
01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:10,771
‪現在我完全不會了

1109
01:09:11,438 --> 01:09:18,070
‪之所以不在意,是因為我有辦法說
‪別人能對我做的事

1110
01:09:18,612 --> 01:09:21,574
‪比得上我對自己做的事還要糟嗎?

1111
01:09:22,658 --> 01:09:25,035
‪你想要封殺約翰穆拉尼?

1112
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:27,037
‪我會殺了他

1113
01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:33,002
‪我差點得手了

1114
01:09:37,089 --> 01:09:40,301
‪有一次我和我兒子在底特律的博物館

1115
01:09:40,301 --> 01:09:43,053
‪我推著他的推車經過大廳

1116
01:09:43,053 --> 01:09:45,681
‪裡面都是迪亞哥里維拉的壁畫

1117
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:50,728
‪我和當時九個月大的兒子馬侃解釋說

1118
01:09:50,728 --> 01:09:53,272
‪迪亞哥里維拉很有才華
‪但是個共產主義者

1119
01:09:56,817 --> 01:10:00,404
‪而馬侃一直對著各種東西送出飛吻

1120
01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:03,908
‪還有大在尿布上時會鬥雞眼

1121
01:10:07,036 --> 01:10:11,415
‪我從沒和他外出時
‪需要獨自幫他換尿布

1122
01:10:11,415 --> 01:10:14,460
‪所以我去找博物館導覽員問說

1123
01:10:14,460 --> 01:10:16,712
‪“這裡有哪邊
‪能讓我幫寶寶換尿布嗎?”

1124
01:10:16,712 --> 01:10:19,048
‪她說:“有,男生廁所應該可以”

1125
01:10:19,048 --> 01:10:21,550
‪我說:“好”
‪然後我帶他去男生廁所

1126
01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:24,762
‪我走進去,看到牆面

1127
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:33,979
‪“哈囉,老朋友”

1128
01:10:42,988 --> 01:10:45,366
‪我的人生現在已經好很多了

1129
01:10:46,033 --> 01:10:52,206
‪但...如果我感覺需要一點警醒...

1130
01:10:52,206 --> 01:10:53,332
‪感謝你

1131
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:57,920
‪來提醒自己當初狀況有多糟

1132
01:10:58,629 --> 01:11:00,798
‪我,很幸運的,還有這個

1133
01:11:01,465 --> 01:11:06,470
‪這是《GQ雜誌》對我的採訪內容

1134
01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:13,269
‪而我對此完全沒有印象

1135
01:11:15,896 --> 01:11:19,817
‪你有沒有在嗑藥時講過什麼
‪隔天完全忘光的經驗?

1136
01:11:19,817 --> 01:11:22,695
‪這個採訪很長嗎?

1137
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:29,827
‪我在2020年12月15日接受採訪

1138
01:11:29,827 --> 01:11:32,079
‪我的療程從12月18號開始

1139
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,291
‪很不幸的這是療程前的事

1140
01:11:36,875 --> 01:11:40,004
‪我猜事情經過是,有個記者打給我說

1141
01:11:40,004 --> 01:11:43,841
‪“我想採訪你”
‪而我吸了一堆古柯鹼

1142
01:11:44,633 --> 01:11:47,052
‪我不知道你們懂不懂古柯鹼的作用

1143
01:11:47,052 --> 01:11:48,846
‪但這是好消息

1144
01:11:50,931 --> 01:11:53,976
‪我想分享這個我毫無印象的採訪

1145
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,103
‪裡面的一些重點

1146
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:59,189
‪在他們簡介的第一行,寫著

1147
01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:05,070
‪“GQ找來了喜劇演員
‪來場題材廣泛的交流”

1148
01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:14,079
‪第一個問題
‪“GQ:你今天做了什麼事?”

1149
01:12:14,663 --> 01:12:17,875
‪“穆拉尼:我散步經過

1150
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:20,377
‪據說是全紐約市鬧鬼最嚴重的建築”

1151
01:12:27,217 --> 01:12:29,511
‪“GQ:天啊!”

1152
01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:34,183
‪“在哪裡?”

1153
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:36,727
‪“穆拉尼:那是一個吸塵器販賣店

1154
01:12:36,727 --> 01:12:41,190
‪就在第五和第六大道中間的14街
‪以前是收容中心

1155
01:12:41,190 --> 01:12:45,110
‪我的天啊,很顯然有鬧鬼

1156
01:12:45,110 --> 01:12:47,696
‪我指的是騷靈現象那種鬧鬼”

1157
01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:54,995
‪“GQ:好

1158
01:12:59,917 --> 01:13:02,878
‪你有起雞皮疙瘩
‪或是感覺不舒服嗎?”

1159
01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:06,423
‪“穆拉尼:現在不會不舒服了

1160
01:13:06,423 --> 01:13:09,802
‪我想我第一次經過時
‪我已經知道這個地方了

1161
01:13:09,802 --> 01:13:12,096
‪所以不舒服的感覺可能是假的”

1162
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:13,764
‪這是什麼鬼?

1163
01:13:18,852 --> 01:13:20,479
‪他想說什麼?

1164
01:13:21,897 --> 01:13:24,525
‪順帶一提,他們有編輯
‪他們本來能幫我改的

1165
01:13:26,610 --> 01:13:29,696
‪“我想我第一次經過時
‪我已經知道這個地方了

1166
01:13:29,696 --> 01:13:31,990
‪所以不舒服的感覺可能是假的”

1167
01:13:31,990 --> 01:13:35,411
‪雖然我曾經在洛杉磯
‪散步經過鬧鬼的房子

1168
01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:36,745
‪當時我不知道那裡鬧鬼

1169
01:13:36,745 --> 01:13:38,956
‪只是心想,這棟房子是什麼?

1170
01:13:38,956 --> 01:13:41,583
‪接著我慢慢覺得我不喜歡這棟房子

1171
01:13:41,708 --> 01:13:43,836
‪我想和我的狗一起離開這裡

1172
01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:46,839
‪後來我才發現那棟房子被稱做
‪洛斯費利茲的謀殺屋

1173
01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:49,383
‪我這才發現這棟房子有可怕的過往

1174
01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:51,844
‪沒錯,這是我唯一一次

1175
01:13:51,844 --> 01:13:55,514
‪真的對鬼魂和食屍鬼
‪感到莫名的毛骨悚然

1176
01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:57,975
‪並且被證實我的感受是真的”

1177
01:14:04,356 --> 01:14:05,274
‪沒有

1178
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:11,655
‪這一大段中間沒有其他提問

1179
01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:15,033
‪我還在回答那個問題

1180
01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:18,120
‪“我今天做了什麼?”

1181
01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:26,712
‪我超愛我用了“食屍鬼”這個詞

1182
01:14:29,089 --> 01:14:30,591
‪你平常有什麼機會用到?

1183
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:36,221
‪下一個問題,“GQ

1184
01:14:37,014 --> 01:14:40,809
‪我想談談這一年對你創意的影響

1185
01:14:41,101 --> 01:14:42,853
‪因為去年同一時期

1186
01:14:42,853 --> 01:14:45,105
‪你推出《午餐小兵團》

1187
01:14:45,105 --> 01:14:49,485
‪可能是你最冒險的創意發揮之一
‪最終獲得了成功

1188
01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:53,322
‪這一年對你的創意發揮
‪有什麼影響?”

1189
01:14:53,697 --> 01:14:56,325
‪“穆拉尼:如果你聽到湯匙的聲音

1190
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:58,702
‪那是因為我正在吃香果圈麥片”

1191
01:15:07,628 --> 01:15:08,545
‪精彩

1192
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:10,797
‪精彩的答案...

1193
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:14,092
‪適用於人生中的任何問題

1194
01:15:15,385 --> 01:15:19,973
‪隨時要大聲喊出來
‪辨識出房間內的每一點聲音

1195
01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:24,728
‪聽起來完全不疑神疑鬼

1196
01:15:29,316 --> 01:15:30,317
‪下一個問題

1197
01:15:31,026 --> 01:15:36,782
‪“GQ雜誌:在《塞斯梅耶斯深夜秀》
‪看到你登場讓我好奇

1198
01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:38,992
‪你會想要有自己的談話節目嗎?”

1199
01:15:38,992 --> 01:15:41,286
‪“穆拉尼:好,所以...

1200
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,957
‪我曾經有過兩個
‪關於談話節目的點子”

1201
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:47,376
‪我們先暫停一下,欣賞一下這一句話

1202
01:15:48,418 --> 01:15:51,922
‪“我曾經有過兩個
‪關於談話節目的點子”

1203
01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:57,302
‪“我說的點子,指的是我在自己房間
‪有過這念頭

1204
01:16:01,056 --> 01:16:04,977
‪一個想法就是採訪那些
‪從事讓我感興趣事情的人

1205
01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:08,313
‪我不是說我近距離看他們工作

1206
01:16:08,438 --> 01:16:10,274
‪不,現場就是談話節目那樣

1207
01:16:10,274 --> 01:16:13,360
‪他們會出現在那裡
‪那邊還會有樂團之類的”

1208
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,028
‪好,先暫停一下

1209
01:16:15,654 --> 01:16:17,281
‪讓大家回想一下

1210
01:16:18,156 --> 01:16:21,994
‪“我曾經有過兩個
‪關於談話節目的點子

1211
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:27,040
‪第一個是談話節目”

1212
01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:35,716
‪“另一個點子是規劃一個節目
‪只邀請老人

1213
01:16:37,718 --> 01:16:41,513
‪考慮到目前的風險
‪很顯然我不會現在這麼做

1214
01:16:50,272 --> 01:16:53,233
‪我只是覺得能和老年人聊聊很棒

1215
01:16:53,233 --> 01:16:55,360
‪特別是如果他們很樂意聊聊

1216
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:58,614
‪自己的人生接近尾聲”

1217
01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:05,829
‪下一個問題

1218
01:17:06,997 --> 01:17:09,583
‪“GQ:說到電視

1219
01:17:11,668 --> 01:17:16,548
‪你曾推出過情境喜劇但成效不好
‪不過那是很久以前的事了

1220
01:17:16,548 --> 01:17:20,469
‪如今這個年代,網路和各種串流服務

1221
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:25,474
‪讓創作者有更多機會
‪照自己的想法製作節目

1222
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:28,310
‪從這點來說
‪你會想要再嘗試一次嗎?”

1223
01:17:28,310 --> 01:17:32,397
‪“穆拉尼:你指的是像我以前那樣
‪有多鏡頭,現場有觀眾

1224
01:17:32,397 --> 01:17:34,024
‪那種情境喜劇嗎?”

1225
01:17:34,024 --> 01:17:36,193
‪“GQ:不

1226
01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:41,531
‪不一定要那樣”

1227
01:17:41,948 --> 01:17:45,827
‪“穆拉尼:我會推出
‪和過往一模一樣的節目

1228
01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:49,081
‪唯一我想改變的就是觀眾”

1229
01:17:59,424 --> 01:18:00,884
‪結尾是這樣

1230
01:18:02,427 --> 01:18:07,766
‪“GQ:我想這段交談中大家能得知的

1231
01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:12,604
‪就是你的腦海中充斥著許多不同點子

1232
01:18:13,271 --> 01:18:15,357
‪並且你絕對會實踐這些點子”

1233
01:18:16,149 --> 01:18:21,530
‪“穆拉尼:如果人們的感受是這樣
‪我會非常開心”

1234
01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:27,077
‪“GQ:好

1235
01:18:30,122 --> 01:18:31,540
‪你可以離席了

1236
01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:36,461
‪我不想占用你太多
‪吃香果圈麥片的時間”

1237
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:41,091
‪“穆拉尼:你在說什麼?

1238
01:18:45,262 --> 01:18:46,972
‪早就吃完了”

1239
01:18:47,723 --> 01:18:50,142
‪晚安,波士頓的各位,非常感謝各位

1240
01:19:08,660 --> 01:19:12,956
‪(謝謝你們)

1241
01:19:12,956 --> 01:19:18,754
{\an8}‪(你們拯救了我的人生)

1242
01:19:50,243 --> 01:19:55,248
‪字幕翻譯: 花筠翔, 王晶晶