♪ bold music playing ♪
Downloaded from YTS.MX
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[crowd chatting happily]
[gruff voice narrating]
NARRATOR: The hero.
[narrator speaking]
- Miguel, you owe me $5.
[narrator speaking]
- [laughs] You've cloned yourself?
[narrator speaking]
- Cass?!
[shouting, battle sound effects play on laptop]
MIGUEL[on laptop]: Cass, grab him by the ponytail!
[battle shouts continue]
DAVID: Hey, yo, Miguel!
♪ hip-hop music playing ♪
♪ singer rapping in Spanish ♪
- Hey-ey-ey! - [laughing] Hey!
- Bro, I'm working on the Naruto video. It's comin' out fire!
- Oh, my God!
♪ hip-hop music continues ♪
- Cass!
Cass!
[indistinct chatter]
- Hell yeah, my brother. - Srini!
- Yo. - Let me get some of those.
- Come back, you can't-- - Over top, over top.
CASS: Are you serious?
[indistinct chatter]
♪ Spanish rapping continues ♪
♪ music stops ♪ MIGUEL: Have y'all seen One Punch Man?
DAVID: No, what's that?
MIGUEL: It's this anime about this guy
who's able to defeat any opponent with just one punch.
- Oh, shit. That's a dope skill to have. Just one punch. Mm!
- Or a really bad one. - How's that?
- 'Cause he can't masturbate.
- What? - I'm just saying,
if his hand is that strong, he might get super into it
and accidentally one-punch his own dick off.
It's too dangerous of a proposition. I would never make that trade.
- What if it's the complete opposite? What if he's, like, really good at it?
You know, just one pull and... whoosh!
- Hey! Yo, don't aim your imaginary jizz at me, bro!
- No... you're right. - Fighting's a lot like masturbating.
DAVID: If fighting is a lot like masturbating,
then you're doing one of 'em really wrong.
- [snaps fingers] "One Stroke Man."
- Ah! Yes. - Yeah, all right.
- Wait, but hold on, though.
So, if you're a superhero and a resulting effect of your superpowers
is that it only takes you one stroke to... you know?
Now, does that make your life happier or does that make your life sadder?
- Happier. - Sadder. Come on. Think on it like eating.
Do you want to be tasting your food or do you want to be full?
Eating's about savoring, like experiencing that moment.
- You sound like the Ratatouille of jerkin' off.
- No, I'm with David. - You good.
- Not me, I'm in and out. You never even knew I was there.
[snaps fingers] I'm a beat-off burglar.
[David laughs] - Beat-off burglar.
♪ hip-hop in background ♪ - I'm so glad I don't have a dick.
♪ hip-hop music continues ♪
MIGUEL: I gotta show you guys something.
Check this out.
CASS: Oh, my God!
This looks crazy! [laughs] [David laughing]
[explosive sound effects] [Cass roars]
[cheering, laughing]
- That's your best one yet, man! DAVID: Yo!
- Bang! Oh, what a shot from Srini!
- Yeah, Srini! SRINI: 100% from the field!
Steph Curry on these bitches!
- Nah, that ain't Steph Curry.
That's Indian Curry, flavorful-ass boy!
- You lost. Get off the court, you saggy-faced bitch.
- He does have a saggy face. I never noticed that before.
- Yeah, looks like it's gonna fall right off his skull.
- Man, how much does the bottom of your face weigh?
That's shit's gotta be like, what, eight pounds?
[Saul grunts] DAVID: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
♪ intense music playing ♪
SRINI: Saggy-face bitch! DAVID: Hey, yo, what the fuck?!
[Srini grunts] CASS: Hey!
[grunting]
- Hey!
[teens shouting, cursing]
[shouting continues] ♪ intense music rising ♪
[dramatic sound effects]
NARRATOR: Fight!
- Hey. Sorry he said that stuff to you, man.
That guy just super sucks.
- Thanks.
Most people are just making an Aladdin joke
or a convenience store joke.
I appreciate he was artisanal with his racism.
- Ooh! You should have called him "CaBron James!"
Be...cause of the Indian Curry thing?
- You know, cabrón in Spanish-- - No, mm-mm.
It's terrible.
- What about "Luka Dog-Dick"? SRINI: Nope.
- What about "James Hard-on"? - No.
- 'Cause, you know-- - No, I get it. It's just not that clever.
- Hey, hey, Armando's outside. Can we cross the street? Cool, thanks.
MIGUEL: He just got out a couple of weeks ago.
That's the first time I've seen him.
He hasn't even come by the gym at all.
- How long was he in?
- Nine months.
- Well, imagine you go from you're about to be a rich professional boxer
to you just got out of jail,
standing in your grandma's front yard staring at meat.
MIGUEL: Holy shit.
[meat sizzling]
MIGUEL: Uh-oh. Where are his cooking utensils?
- The next time we walk past, I'm gonna yell his name like we're buddies,
so then we'll actually be buddies.
- Why would you want to be his friend?
He's not a badass, he's a bitch. - Ooh.
- Are you still mad because of what he said about your dad?
- 'Course he's still mad because of what he said about his dad.
[sizzling]
♪ ominous music playing ♪
- Ah, dammit. - What's up?
- My fuckin' sweater got torn in that fight.
- Yeah, man, they tore my shit, too.
- How do you get your pocket torn in a fight?
- Don't finger my pocket.
CASS: Miguel, you good?
- Huh? Yeah. I'm good.
I'm whole.
We all did, like, an equal amount of, like, punches and whatnot.
SRINI: What?
Wait, did you not get in the fight?
[scoffs]
- Huh? - Huh?
You didn't get in the fight? You didn't jump in?
- No, I was-- I was in there. I was just--
I was more like on the outside. I was, I was maintaining the perimeter.
- How did you not jump in? - People jump in, you jump in.
That's the rule.
- I was gonna, but it was just over so fast.
And anyways, the other group had what? Three people? We had four.
So it just... it wouldn't be fair.
- This motherfucker was doing math. - You gotta jump in, man.
- No, you don't. - Look, it's whatever. Okay?
You guys are fine. You always are.
I would have jumped in if you really needed me to, but--
- Wait, hold on a second... have you never jumped in before?
Like zero times?
- Irrelevant.
- [scoffs] Now this motherfucker can't count.
- There's no way you've never jumped in.
- Give me my fuckin' phone, Claudia. - Your what?
- My what?
CASS: What about the time I got into it with Claudia Dominguez
because she stole my phone?
SRINI: Oh, man, I remember that. It was crazy.
I still can't believe you open-hand slapped her.
[crowd screaming]
CASS: Miguel, I could have sworn you had my back against that bitch.
MIGUEL: Nope.
SRINI: Wait, but... I definitely remember you jumping in that time at the movies.
- Yo, chill out!
[teens arguing]
- Look, I paid for my popcorn!
MIGUEL: You were wrong. I didn't jump in there, either.
I didn't want to miss the movie.
Y'all didn't even watch it. The guy fought a tiger.
[teens shouting]
SRINI: What about when David got into it with that kid on Halloween
because he was fucking with you?
DAVID: No, you got in on that one.
MIGUEL: But you know what?
Yeah, it was me and that one dude.
We were both looking at each other, but I don' think either one of us
wanted to actually do it,
so we ended up just... aggressively hugging.
Does that count?
SRINI: Oh, my God.
- David, did you know that he wasn't in the fight? Did you know this?
- "Knowing" is a strong word. I-- - This is fuckin' blasphemy.
- It's Miguel, it's not him. Come on.
- Have you ever gotten into a fight?
- Yes. - With who?
- Oh. - Right.
- I don't see the point.
- How? - How do I not see the point?
Because fighting is stupid.
- No. How have you not gotten into a fight living here?
In this neighborhood. It's like... what everyone does.
And you love fight movies! It's the only thing you talk about.
- Also, your dad's literally a boxing coach.
- I just haven't.
Okay? Fighting is bad. Right?
Like, on a scale of Good Things and Bad Things.
SRINI: Nope. It's awesome.
- Well, I-I know you've at least sparred, right?
- I mean, I'm at the gym, but it's mainly because of my dad.
I'm just keeping the place clean, and I don't really like the gloves.
They... make my hands sweaty.
- The gloves make your hands sweaty?!
- Getting into a fight alongside your friends
is how you know you're really friends.
It's on the friendship checklist.
- Srini might be a fast masturbating idiot most of the time, but he's right.
It's a part of it.
- Hey, come on, no, it is not. Jesus.
Y'all are so full of shit. You just talk and talk and talk.
Drop it.
- We're just playing. We're messing with you, bro.
- I know. I get it.
- Okay, what about this one?
You could've told Saul that his mom is Michael Whore-dan.
Or Kevin Whore-ant.
Like a whore.
CASS AND SRINI: Stop saying "whore."
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
- Hey, son. David. - What's up, Mr. P.?
- Dorks. CASS: Hey, Coach.
SRINI: Mr. P. - What's going on up here?
- Uh... It's nothing. I mean, we just got into a little somethin' at the park.
Some guy said some "not nice" stuff to Srini and then--
- I've told y'all already,
you wanna fight, you come to the gym, not the street.
- Sir, how are you a boxing coach who's anti-boxing?
- I'm not anti-boxing, I'm anti-fighting.
One is dignified.
It has rules, and a ref and safety equipment.
The other isn't and doesn't.
But at least y'all all stuck together. That's a good thing, I guess.
What about you? No war wounds?
[door creaks open]
- His nail kind of got me on my back, Dad.
- David, come, I've got a plate for you.
DAVID: Thanks, Mrs. P. I really appreciate it.
- You got a plate for me too? - No.
- Awesome. - I'm serious about the fighting thing.
- We got it, Dad. - Yeah, Miguel's got it.
- Thank you. CASS: Later, Coach.
SRINI: See ya. MIGUEL: Gonna chill at David's, Dad.
- Don't forget to bring back my plate.
SRINI: Hey, you wanna go get some pizza? CASS: My dad's making dinner later.
SRINI: Yeah, I'm on a diet, anyways.
- All right, bro, I'm gonna sneak to the kitchen.
- Okay. - Hey, Mama.
NINA: Hi!
[door shuts]
NINA: Is it my turn?
MIGUEL: Hi, Miss Nina. - Hi, Miguel. Cómo está?
- Bien. What's up, Felipe? - What's up?
[dishes rattling] - Hey, who's winning?
[Nina speaking Tagalog]
NINA: Oh!
[speaking Tagalog]
DAVID: Of course. - Good.
♪ light music playing ♪
- Hey, Dad.
[spudders]
You good, bro?
- Yeah.
Yeah... do you miss boxing?
- [groans] Not really.
Look, if it's about the fighting stuff, they're just being idiots.
You don't gotta do all that, bro. - No, man, I know. I was just--
just asking.
- So, look, um, I signed up for this SAT prep course,
and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to do it too. Like, with me?
The math stuff makes way more sense when you walk it through with me, bro.
- Oh.
- But obviously, if it's like a hassle or anything, like, you got your own life.
So, you know. - Bro, I got you!
- [sighs] Thank you, man.
'Cause I promised my dad I'd get serious about getting into college--
- Mm. - and the placement test is Friday,
and I just really need to crush this shit, you know?
- Ooh, no. We're gonna crush it, but we're gonna crush it Ip Man- style.
- For sure, but-- [mimics rapid punching sounds]
- Nah, like this. Faster.
[mimics rapid punching sounds]
[both laughing]
♪ Spanish-language hip-hop playing ♪
♪ music stops ♪
- [clears throat] Hey, son, why don't you come have a seat.
- Okay...?
LYDIA: It's okay, you're not in trouble. Don't worry.
[Miguel sighs]
- It's likely going to be not great when you hear this at first,
but I think eventually it'll be good to you.
Um,
I got offered a new job today. As an RN.
I applied a few weeks ago, and this morning they told me I got it.
- Whoo! Congrats! RN. That's amazing! Why is that a bad thing?
- We have to move.
- Like, to a better house that's here on the street?
- The job is in Albany.
- Albany? Mom? That's like two hours away.
- I didn't think I was gonna get it, but then I thought, if I did get it,
you know, it wouldn't be for a few months, but then somebody quit and--
- Wait, so, when does all this stuff happen?
- In a week. - A week?
LYDIA: Next Sunday, we'll make our first trip down there. So eight days.
ALBERTO: It's gonna be a big change for all of us, but it's a good thing.
It's a much nicer neighborhood where we're looking.
This new neighborhood is like the right weight class for you.
Do you know what I mean?
- No, I don't, Dad.
The boxing metaphors never work.
- You know how boxers have different weight classes?
LYDIA: Babe, they really don't work.
Remember when my mom was in a coma
and you asked the doctor if she was "down for the count?"
- Can I be excused, please?
- [inhales sharply] Yes.
[Lydia sighs]
♪ solemn music playing ♪
[door slams, echoes]
♪
♪ intense hip-hop music playing ♪
[boxers grunting]
- Get your head up, and land, Ronny. Come on!
Don't cross your feet, Matt.
Pick up the pace, everybody!
On your toes! All right, switch partners!
[both grunting]
- Pablo, use that jab.
Michael, stay small.
Get on the inside!
- What's up? Ain’t you Felipe’s son? - Yeah, that was my dad, yeah.
- Okay, okay.
[indistinct chatter]
- Yo, what's up, brother? How's it going?
- What's up, what's up?
- How's your mom?
- She's good. She's working.
She's working a lot now. - Mm.
- Oh, she said to thank you for the enchiladas yesterday.
They were bomb.
- I'm glad.
You, um... wanna hit the heavy bag like old times?
- No, I'm good, thanks. That was more of a "me and my Dad" thing.
ALBERTO: He was a special fighter, your dad.
Felt like he was hitting you with two bags of concrete when he sparred.
They called him the Ferocious Filipino.
- That's a terrible nickname.
- Yeah. [chuckles] He hated it.
Listen, David, um, things are changing,
but, um, me and Lydia, we're always gonna be here for you no matter what.
- So how are things changing? - Yo, yo, yo.
Yo. Chill.
What's up? I'm good, right? Everything's done?
- Yeah, you're good. - Okay.
What's he talking about, bro?
- I have no idea.
But he got real weird on me, bro. You might want to check on your dad.
SRINI: Yeah. No, I could absolutely kill a bear with my hands if I needed to.
- Hey! We're going to The Cave.
SRINI: All I'm saying is, if a bear couldn't kill Leo DiCaprio,
a bear's not killing me.
DAVID: You've never even got this far, bro. I did.
- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.
- I'm looking at the game. - Are you-- Are we--
- You definitely didn't. - Are you watching the same screen as me?
- You're not going to make it past this level.
This man is a maniac.
DAVID: Let me do this combo. SRINI: You're never gonna be a real samurai.
CASS: Bro, you gotta swing over to that.
- [echoing] Slice, slice, slice.
[voices fade, all three continue chatting indistinctly]
DAVID [echoing]: He's done.
- The job is in Albany.
- It is like the right weight class for you.
- Pull the sword. People jump in, you jump in.
That's the rule.
- Getting into a fight alongside your friends,
is how you know you're really friends.
- It's Miguel. It's not him, come on.
GROUP [chanting]: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...
- I need your help.
- Did you try to "One Stroke Man" yourself last night too?
I didn't. Unless you did.
In which case I also did, and it didn't work.
- What the hell? I don't wanna help with that.
- No. I wanna get into a fight.
- What? - What?
- [snaps fingers] Oh, you should fight an old man.
- What the fuck?
- I don't wanna beat up an old man, but I-- I do wanna get into a fight.
- Why? - Uh, don't ask him why.
Wait, who cares why?
- Is it because these two idiots gave you a hard time?
You don't have to fight because of that. - No, it's--
- I've always wanted to say, "Fuck you, you old bitch," to an old man.
- I just want to. - But why?
- Oh, my God. Let the man be, David.
If he wants to fight, he should fight. CASS: Hmm.
- Just support him, like he supported you when you bought that shirt.
- Those gotta be the strongest buttons in the world.
- It's supposed to fit like this, though.
This is chic. - Okay.
- Honestly, I think it'd be pretty funny to watch Miguel get beat up,
and I don't need much more reason than that.
- For real though, David?
I've never fought anyone and I wanna fight.
I mean, that's a part of the friendship checklist, right?
- Yep. - That's exactly what I said.
MIGUEL: Come on, David.
- If you want me to help, I'm gonna help. I got you.
But I'm just saying, I don't get it, is all.
Like, why now?
- What do you mean?
- Well, you've known all this time that you haven't gotten into a fight
and it hasn't bothered you before.
Or at least it hasn't bothered you enough to do anything about it.
So, what's changed?
- "The Bona Lisa" changed everything.
- [whispering] Bona Lisa?
- Okay, class, ten more minutes to finish recreating the Mona Lisa.
- I don't know, ma'am. This feels like way too difficult of an assignment.
- [sighs] I'm just substituting, Srini.
Okay? The most exciting part of my day today
was getting breakfast for lunch in the cafeteria.
Just do the best you can.
♪ lively percussive music playing ♪
- Yo. Holy shit. Miguel got a boner.
Yo, Miguel got a boner from Mona Lisa. - No! No, no, I don't.
It's just, it's my pants. [students chattering excitedly]
MIGUEL: My jeans are stretched out from my belt.
MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Please stop pressing your penis, Mr. Perez. Adrian, callate.
MIGUEL: It's just a belt. Look!
- Oh, shit, Bona Lisa's taking his pants off now.
MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Adrian, stop saying "Bona Lisa."
Miguel, go over there and compose yourself.
Stop smiling. I can see you. [students laughing]
- Bona Lisa! STUDENTS: Bona Lisa!
[bell dings] STUDENTS: Bona Lisa!
- But it wasn't a boner. It was just my pants.
- It's fine, it's fine. It's a very erotic picture.
- Dude.
- Okay, so we need to establish the parameters first.
We need a framework here. We need rules.
- Ooh, like Fight Club. - Mm. Mm.
- What's that?
- Okay. Miguel is obviously not a bully, right?
He's a good person, which means the first rule is,
Miguel can only fight someone who deserves it.
[bell dings]
CASS: You can't just pick some kid indiscriminately the way a bully would.
There needs to be some kind of justice involved.
- I like that. I like that. - I kind of like that too.
Rules might make this good. CASS: Right?
- Yeah. DAVID: Okay, I got one.
If you wanna fight someone, Miguel can't throw the first punch.
[bell dings] - Why can't I throw the first punch?
- Okay, think about it.
The process of getting into a fight is just as important as the actual fight.
That pre-fight buildup is where all your energy increases,
and your adrenaline hits,
and your heart gets going, and your blood gets hot,
and your dick gets hard for the Mona Lisa.
- [snaps fingers] Come on. - One more rule.
Stay away from Damien Delgado.
♪ ominous sting ♪
[bus engine idling]
♪ ominous music playing ♪ DAMIEN: Hey!
Hey!
[hydraulic brakes hiss] - Shit!
Hey, take-- take it easy. All right? STUDENT: Oh, my God!
- Just take it easy. Just take--
[grunts]
[bus driver screams]
♪
- Obviously I'm not gonna fight Damien Delgado.
It's Adrian. That's who I'm gonna fight.
- Yeah, now, Adrian is lean and fast.
- Right.
So? SRINI: So?
- So you're about to get into a fight and you need to be prepared.
You need strategy like--
like Bruce Lee.
[beast roars, fist strikes]
MIGUEL: Holy shit. CASS: Mm-hmm.
- I've been sponging this stuff for years, fighting by osmosis.
I mean, I might be an accidental master.
- Maybe. Probably not, but maybe.
CASS: Look, I want you to imagine the fight.
The best fighters visualize their victories beforehand.
They see themselves winning, so they win.
- They also win because it's their job and they train for it,
and they get paid to do it.
And they're not motivated by erection vengeance.
- Bruce Lee was motivated to stop prostitution in Enter the Dragon.
I mean, so they both kind of involve erections, David.
- See, that's good. Use all of this. Okay?
Now, close your eyes and enter that dragon.
- Okay.
♪ mystical music playing ♪ [film projector whirring]
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
♪
- Srini!
- Go!
♪ funky music playing ♪
- Holy shit. Miguel got a boner.
[laughing]
- H'yah!
[applause]
- Why are you dressed like the chick from Kill Bill?
[slicing sound]
- It's from Game of Death, stupid.
- Little tight around the crotch, bro.
[both grunting]
[Miguel grunts]
[Adrian grunts]
[metallic click]
[roaring]
[both grunting]
♪ funky music continues ♪
[Adrian grunts]
- [yells] Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
- Why are you punching him in the butt?
- Ah, ah, ah!
- Hey, watch out!
[thuds, bricks clatter]
[exhales sharply]
[mystical sound effects whirring]
♪ funky horns playing ♪
[grunts]
- I've spared you because I'm a good person.
- [laughing] You've got a boner right now.
- Huah!
[horn blowing with each kick]
- Ha! It was not a boner!
[applause]
ALL: You did it, Miguel!
♪ triumphant horn riff plays ♪
- I think that worked.
I'm ready.
♪ Spanish-language hip-hop playing ♪
- Look, bro, just so it's said one more time,
you don't have to do this if you don't want to, bro.
- Yeah, I hear you, but I'm gonna go Fists of Fury on this guy.
Like Bruce Lee and Jet Li versions.
DAVID: All right. Well, make sure to keep your head moving.
CASS: You all set? MIGUEL: Yep. I ate a muffin this morning.
SRINI: What kind? - Blueberry.
SRINI: Good, good. That's the-- That's the strongest of all the muffins.
DAVID: All right, bro, so what's the plan here?
- Well, I usually see Adrian after third period, so that's when I'll try him.
Always see him in the hallway with his friends being all like--
- Handsome?
- Not for long. - Oh, my God, I love it.
TEACHER: Good morning, everyone. [bell dings]
[clock ticking] BOXING ANNOUNCER: And in this corner,
the best friend, the toughest guy in Syracuse.
He is so tough.
Migueeeel!
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪ [teacher lecturing in background]
♪
- Types of creative writing include poetry, plays, personal essays,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, Miguel. You gonna beat his ass?
- Yes.
[bell rings]
- I gotta go, Ms. Rodriguez.
MRS. RODRIGUEZ: We'll get into Lord of the Flies next time.
- Watch his eyes, all right? - You got it, bro.
- I'm about to drop this handsome bitch.
- He steps with that left foot forward, be careful of that quick jab.
- Oh, if he steps that left foot forward, he's gonna get punched the fuck out.
Where's he at?
Ooh. There he is.
DAVID: Yo, I thought y'all was playing, but he is for real handsome.
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
- Okay.
BOXING ANNOUNCER: And now, entering the ring,
a born fighter who always has his best friend's back.
And just like I was saying earlier, he's the toughest guy in Syracuse.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to--
Oh, what the fuck, bro?
♪ music slowing down, fading ♪
SRINI: What?
- Oh, shit. [laughs]
MIGUEL: You got a cast?
- Bona Lisa, what's up, man? Still getting horny in class?
Wanna sign my cast? [snickering, laughing]
Bona Lisa!
[bell rings] [Adrian laughing]
MIGUEL: So now what? - You can still fight him.
- You can't fight a kid with a broken arm.
- Yeah, sure you can. A broken leg, that's off limits.
A broken neck, that's a no-go, but a broken arm?
- I mean, if you really think about it,
that thing is kind of like an advantage for Adrian.
That thing's like a weapon.
You kind of owe it to your classmates to beat his ass. He's dangerous.
- Nah, man, I'm out. [Cass scoffs]
- Great.
- So let's pick someone else.
- Ah. - What?
- Awesome. But, Miguel,
we need to do some work on you.
Stop asking so many questions. You gotta focus.
- Wait, so what are we doing here?
- The problem is you're too nice. - Thank you?
- While being nice is good for, like, life, it's not good for fights.
- So we need to un-nice you. - Right.
- Which is what we're doing here. - This is the plan.
So I'm gonna point to someone at random and you have to be mean to them.
- Wait, but that seems like not that great of a plan.
David, what do you think about this?
- I think that none of this has made any sense, man.
But I also think I kind of want to see this one.
- Let's go! Yeah!
Let's find somebody.
- Hell no. You guys crazy?
That's a grown man. He's probably got kids.
[gulps] I'll fight his kids.
CASS: No, that's not our guy.
♪ cheerful music playing in store ♪
MIGUEL: No. No. No, you already said Damien's out.
- Well, I guess it's gotta be the next person.
That's our guy. That's the fuck.
MIGUEL: He's barely moving. He's maybe not even alive.
- He's you. That's old you. - Y'all even dress alike.
SRINI: It's a Back to the Future situation.
You gotta bully future you to save present you.
- No, no, no, Srini, Back to the Future doesn't work that way.
- You gotta do it. You feel the way that you're recoiling from the idea?
That's how you know you have to do it.
That's how you know it's gonna make you un-nice.
Then you'll be ready to fight.
- I'm annoyed by how much sense this makes, but fuck!
Fine, fine, fine.
- Go over there and say to him exactly what's written down on this paper.
[friends laughing]
- Just be mean. Un-nice yourself.
Gotta be un-nice. - Just go.
EMPLOYEE [over intercom]: Manager to register two. Manager to register two.
- Oh, shit.
DAVID: Oh, my God.
- Can you help me with the Raisin Bran, please?
It's too heavy.
[muttering indistinctly]
Not that one. The other one right there, this one.
Oh, no wait a minute. Never mind.
Give me that one, better. Yeah.
Yes, mijo. Thank you. Thank you, mijo.
- Wait. - Go back there.
- Sir.
- Yes, mijo?
- I, uh...
[softly] Fuck you, you old bitch.
- Huh?
- Fuck you, you old bitch.
SRINI [whispering]: Come on. Just pick up the volume.
- Fuck you, you old bitch!
[man gasping] [friends laughing]
MAN: What the hell?
- You screamed it! Why did you say it so loud?
[laughing, chattering]
♪ hip-hop music pounding ♪
[excited indistinct chatter]
♪ hip-hop music continues ♪
[boxing sound effects]
[Srini grunts] - Like Ali, yeah.
I got it now. - Don't back up into the screen, bro.
- ♪ One more with-- ♪
- Hey! Look at you gettin' cut.
SRINI: Don't beat the evidence, bro.
CASS [rapping]: ♪ They don't want to date me ♪
♪ Probably want to be me ♪
♪ Me, Miguel, David, Srini ♪
- Oh! - What?
I'm telling y'all, it's only a matter of time when that wall says--
[indistinct chatter, laughter] CASS: You know what I mean?
Only a matter of time.
I need this whole section right here.
DAVID: Yo, yo, Cass, Srini. Should we go kick it with Miguel?
MIGUEL: Oh, wait. Chill, chill, chill. Um, I'll meet you guys at The Cave.
SRINI: Man, yeah. - Yeah, I'll be right there. [laughing]
♪ intense hip-hop continues ♪
♪ music stops ♪
[door creaking]
[footsteps approaching]
LYDIA: Aw, always the four of you.
I remember when you all first started hanging out together.
You were all these tiny little things.
Babies, really.
It's okay to be upset about leaving. You know that, right?
- I'm fine. Okay? Everything is-- it's fine.
- Okay, good. I'm glad.
How'd your friends take it when you told them you were leaving?
- I'm gonna tell them, but I just... not yet.
- Why?
- Because once I tell them, then it becomes something that's actually true.
- I know it's hard, but it's better now than later.
When you bottle up your feelings
and you keep secrets away from the people that you care about, they can explode.
Make you do crazy things. - Yeah.
- Like set a trash can on fire and throw it through the windshield
of your first boyfriend's car who you freaking caught cheating.
- Mom, Mom, Mom.
- Right. But you should tell them.
Tonight.
- Yeah, you know what?
You're right. I'm gonna go tell them right now.
I know who I'm fighting. Kevin Troy.
- Kevin Troy? - The Air Morgans guy?
- Who? - The Air Morgans guy.
♪ funky music playing ♪
MIGUEL: So it's the day after my birthday.
I'm wearing the new Nike high-tops that my mom got me.
It's those red and black Jordans? The main ones?
The banned ones. I'm a king at school.
I'm walking through the hallway and people are giving me high-fives
and shouting my name because of how awesome these shoes are.
Even a teacher tried to kiss me. It was crazy.
SRINI: This all sounds fake, but I don't care.
Lie to me.
MIGUEL: So it's PE. Kids all around me. I'm feeling great.
I hear a rumor that I might get voted Homecoming King.
It's all breaking my way.
Shoes look remarkable.
That's when Kevin Troy walks up.
- Hey, Miguel. MIGUEL: I say...
What's up, Kev?
His name's Kevin, but I call him Kev,
even though I've never talked to him before,
because that's just how good I was feeling.
Kevin's looking down at my feet like he's real curious about my shoes.
And I'm like...
Nice, right? Got 'em for my birthday.
I can ask my mom where she got them from if you wanted a pair.
And that's when it all fell apart.
- Hey, yo, come check out these fake ass Jordans.
- Because here's the part I didn't tell anyone.
The shoes were fake. My mom got 'em from the flea market.
The little Jordan on there wasn't even dunking it, he was laying it up.
The swoosh was actually a check mark.
The shoes don't even say "Air Jordan" on them.
I swear to God, they said "Air Morgan."
[students laughing] - Look at them.
TEEN: Oh, my God, your mom doesn't love you!
KEVIN: You know what a swish looks like?
A swish goes swoosh. [bell dings]
- Honestly, I don't know why I didn't pick him in the first place.
He should have been my first pick.
- Know what? Let's scout this thing.
Kevin is a little older than you. - Mm-hmm.
- Kevin knows more than you. - Mm-hmm.
- He's slightly a better fighter than you. - Mm-hmm.
- So he's-- - Morpheus in The Matrix.
- Yeah, that feels a little-- Is that racist?
'Cause they're both Black?
- Maybe a little. - One, he knows more than me.
CASS: Mm-hmm. - Two, he's a better fighter than me.
So you know what that makes me?
Neo.
- Kevin probably loves The Matrix. - Is that bad?
- Everybody loves The Matrix. - I'm on Miguel's side, okay?
Everything Kevin Troy does is stupid! Mm!
CASS: Look, you know what to do.
Just close your eyes and visualize it. - Mm-hmm.
CASS: Jack yourself in, Neo.
♪ ethereal music playing ♪
- This is a sparring program, similar to the program reality of The Matrix.
It has the same basic rules.
Some of them can be bent, others can be broken.
You understand?
Then hit me, if you can.
[electronic sounds droning]
[squeaking]
- Ah!
[both grunting]
♪ intense music playing ♪
[both grunt]
[Miguel groans]
[gasps]
KEVIN: Ha!
[Miguel exhales sharply]
- Good. Adaptation, improvisation.
[electricity buzzes]
- You cloned yourself.
But will you give up your true self to defeat me?
- Eat shit, Kevin Troy!
[Kevin grunts] [Miguel groans]
- Why did I beat you?
Do you think me being a better fighter has anything to do with this place?
Do you think those are Air Jordans you were wearing?
[group laughing]
[high-pitched giggles]
KEVIN: Oh, my God, your mom doesn't love you!
♪ intense drums beating ♪
♪ horn fanfare playing ♪
[slight chuckle]
[both grunting]
♪
[electricity surging]
- Ah, fuck.
♪ music fades ♪
- When do you see Kevin? - In the morning.
- We have the math prep thing in the morning, it's Tuesday. Remember?
- Oh, shit, I forgot about that.
Can we, like, maybe schedule a different time for that?
- Yeah, um, yeah. Okay.
Uh, I think I'm still gonna go to the meeting.
And I think you should too.
You'll probably finish in time to find Kevin anyways.
Or better yet, you won't.
And then you don't pick a fight for no reason at all.
- Awesome.
See how excited everyone is?
Fuck yeah.
♪ funky drums playing ♪
♪ funky music playing ♪
- Um, no, I've never dated an Indian guy. Why do you ask?
- No reason. - Hey.
- All right.
- Whoa, you're wearing the Morgans. - Whoo!
- Nice touch. - Full circle.
[sighs]
- Yo, yo. Did I miss the big fight? - Not yet.
- There's Kevin.
- All right, bro. If shit goes south, I'm jumping in.
- No, dude. I got this.
Stay back, so it's just me.
- Ooh, I like that confidence.
- All right, tough guy.
He's even got a strong walk going on.
♪ funky music continues ♪ [indistinct chatter in background]
- All right. - So far, so good.
- You were talking to me, and you were bringing up my Air Morgans.
- Guys, this shit might happen today.
SRINI: Fuck him up. CASS: All right. Come on, Miguel.
[Miguel and Kevin laughing, chatting indistinctly]
CASS AND SRINI: What's happening?
[camera shutter clicks] CASS: Why is he taking a selfie with the Air Morgans?
- This is taking a real left turn.
- All right, bro.
- Oh, my God. I can't keep watching this. [Srini groans]
CASS: He tried to dap him, and he acted like he was pulling a sword on him.
KEVIN: You good.
[Srini gags]
- So he reached out his hand to dap you up and you flinched?
- I twitched. - Your full body flinched.
It was like a whole thing.
- Dude, what happened?
- I accidentally made friends with him.
- How the fuck do you accidentally make friends with someone
you're supposed to fight?
- I don't know. He's very charming.
- Okay. KEVIN: [whistles]
Talk to you later, bro. MIGUEL: Yeah, tu sabe.
So he actually recognized the Air Morgans 'cause his parents got him the same ones.
So he apologized.
But then I told him that I was gonna fight him like I was Neo,
and he was Morpheus in The Matrix, in the dojo scene.
But it wasn't because he was Black.
- Why would you actually say that? - You didn't even have to bring that up
in the first place. [bell rings]
- I gotta go to class.
♪ funky music playing ♪
- Wow. [Srini sighs]
♪ music fades ♪
- Bro, I know you had to get your mind right and all,
but fuck, dude, that test prep this morning sucked.
Man, they just started talking about equations and shit,
and it's like my brain just falls outta my nose.
So here's what I was thinking for this next page.
Yo, do you not wanna do this anymore, bro?
- Yeah. I still wanna fight. Why do you keep trying to talk me out of it?
- I'm not trying to talk you out of it, man. I'm just trying to do this math.
- Oh, right, yeah.
Sorry, I just, uh--
Can we pick this up after school tomorrow, please?
- Sure. But the test is Friday, so...
- No. I know. I'm just, uh--
Oh, Cass and Srini are downstairs.
- Look, man, I know this is just a practice test,
but it does determine what SAT course you get placed in.
And if I crush this, we'll be in the same classes next semester the whole way
and we can just study together, man.
- Right.
Yeah. I got you. Don't worry about it.
Come on.
- What's going on, man?
- I just-- I really want to get this fight done.
- I still don't get why you wanna do the fight thing. Who cares?
I mean, they care, but they only care because they love mayhem.
They're the fucking Killmongers of our friend group.
Look at this shit, bro. - Bam. You're done.
- A kick's not impressive. - Easy. You're done.
- That's not an impressive maneuver. - Never recovering.
- Who's Black Panther? - I got the dead dad, so me, I guess.
You could be Shuri, though. Or that White guy.
- Normally I'm fine being someone else, but I need to be Black Panther this time.
- All right. I get it, man. I do.
My whole family, I mean, most of them are crazy,
but the one thing they can all talk about is boxing.
It's like the biggest thing.
My dad? Well, you see what it's like when I go to the gym.
Everybody wants to brag on how good he was.
It's like, so what? He's gone.
He's on his way home from the gym one day and someone runs a red.
That's it.
I don't know. Like, how am I supposed to accept--
- Hey, man! Armando, what's up?
Glad to have you back home where you belong. Free.
All right, cool, cool. Uh, we'll talk more next time, man.
[friends snickering]
- Hey, no disrespect to my man, but this motherfucker dead.
I'm keeping the lights on in this bitch. How come my picture not up there?
- Fuck you! What did you say?
- Dude! - No, no, no. Come on. Walk it off.
- Say that shit again. That's my fucking dad.
[spits]
ARMANDO: Alma, hey.
- You're 0 for 2 on fights so far.
- Yeah, but you're 1 for 2 on making new friends.
- I've been thinking Blake White.
Think that's who I'm gonna try next. 'Cause I always see him after school.
- Who is that? What-- What did he do to you?
- No, you know Blake. He's the one whose sister--
- Oh, that's right. Wait.
- First of all, that was like over a month ago.
And second of all, she's fine.
And third of all, he's a total dick.
All he does is make fun of people. He's a bully.
- Hey, Dumbo, you got a license to fly with those ears?
Oh, can't you hear me, man?
[bell dings]
- I thought it had to be someone who did something specifically to you.
- I'm ensuring egalitarianism, like a superhero.
- But you're more like Peter Parker before he becomes Spider-Man energy.
- Yeah, the problem is you're still afraid of getting hit.
That's why you flinched with Kevin when he reached out.
You can't flinch. - That makes sense, though.
You have never been hit in the face before,
and not knowing what that feels like is way worse than knowing what it feels like
because it's a natural fear, but it's not as bad as you think.
MIGUEL: Hmm.
- So just like we had to un-nice you, now we gotta un-flinch you.
- And how's that?
- Well... Right? - God.
- Right. Ha. Let's try again. MIGUEL: I'm chill.
- Let's try it again. All right. Ready? - Okay. Let's go.
- Ready? - Yeah.
DAVID: Ooh! Shit!
- That's so hot. - What the fuck, Cass?
- Had to be done. - No, it did not.
- It did, because now you're mean enough to get into a fight,
and you know what to expect in a fight.
Now you're really ready.
- Once again, I'm annoyed by how much sense that makes.
[thunder crashing]
- Hey, what's up, Blake? - Fuck off.
[slurps]
[sighs]
- Ooh!
[bell dings]
- What the fuck? - No, it's fine. It's gonna dry off, bro.
- Don't touch me!
[Miguel grunts]
[Damien grunting]
[Miguel grunts]
[Damien thuds]
[Miguel groans] [knuckles crack]
- Hey, what the fuck is going on here?
♪ ominous sting ♪
- David.
[Damien grunts] [Miguel groans]
[Damien grunts]
[David grunts]
♪ hard rock music playing ♪
[both grunting]
♪
[David yells]
[bodies thud]
[Damien yells] [David grunts]
[David panting] [Damien grunts]
[Damien yelling]
[bodies thud] [tile clatters]
[grunting]
- Stop. Stop, stop! Can you stop?
♪ ominous sting ♪
[thunder crashing]
[panting]
- [sighs] Oh, my God.
- What's this?
- I watched some roast videos on YouTube, and I wrote some stuff down.
- You're gonna read to Blake? That's your plan?
- Yeah, I mean, I was practicing all night. This is solid.
- Okay. You're on, Miguel. - And don't let him get a word in, right?
- You're a flame thrower. - Flame thrower.
Blake!
- Hey, what's up? DAVID: Why did he say that shit so loud?
- Man, I don't know, but I like it.
- You look like you threaten to call ICE
whenever something doesn't go your way at, at Mexican restaurants.
STUDENTS: Ooooh!
- You look like... you look like your family invented gentrification.
You look like you argue on the internet
that it's okay for White people to say the N-word.
STUDENTS: Ooh! - Man. He's doing a lot of race stuff.
- Shouldn't you be sitting outside a Home Depot right now looking for work
or helping your mom sell tamales in the parking lot of a grocery store?
- Oh, that's why he did the race stuff.
Blake is racist. - Yeah.
- You look like your dick probably called 911 on you
because you were beating it too much.
[students laughing]
- Oh, well, that one's not racist.
- Because, you know, Mexicans lead the league in domestic violence.
- Ah, there it is. STUDENT: Oh, shit.
BLAKE [echoing]: Oh, you wanna put on a sombrero and take a nap?
Cómo se dice chicken shit?
[students laughing]
- You know what? Fuck you, Blake.
You know, I'm glad that your sister got into that car accident.
I'm glad that she broke both of those legs
and I wish that she would've had a third leg
so she could have broken a third one.
[students gasping]
STUDENT: Shit's fucked up.
[students jeering] - What the fuck, Bona Lisa?
[jeering continues] ♪ intense music playing ♪
♪ electronic music playing ♪
DAVID [on voicemail]: Yo, man, you good? You disappeared pretty quick.
Are you still coming by to finish this study prep?
[phone beeps]
♪ drum tattooing ♪
[crow cawing]
[dogs barking]
- Man.
- I need you to help me get into a fight.
- Hmm.
Okay.
- Okay.
[door creaks]
[woman screaming on TV]
[axe falls]
[body part rattles on floor]
[man laughing maniacally]
[screaming continues]
[chainsaw revving]
[body hits floor]
- I just, uh--
That's where all the trash goes, right?
Right there on the floor.
[hammer pounding metal]
[chainsaw buzzing] - Oh, hey, I'm Miguel, nice to meet you.
Okay. [screaming stops]
[TV remote beeps]
- You wanna learn how to fight? Ask your daddy.
- No. Not precisely. No. I--
I need to get into a fight.
- So fight someone.
- I can't.
Or I mean, there's-- there's just rules that make it hard for me to do so.
For example, I can't throw the first punch.
I gotta get the other person to do it.
And I-I-- I'm a good person, man. I'm Miguel.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
Cass can explain it better. She's cool. You-- You'll meet her one day.
- Oh. Hurry up. - Okay, let's-- let's pretend
it was literally impossible for me to throw the first punch.
And I know that that sounds dumb, but let's just--
let's say that's the scenario, but I still wanna get into a fight.
So if that was the case, what-- what would you tell me to do?
- That's easy, make someone mad enough to punch you.
- Right. Yes. So how do I do that?
- Call him a pussy. Tell him to suck your dick. Get loud.
Get in his face. Shit like that.
- Nah. I don't consent to that, man.
I don't wanna tell anyone to suck my dick.
I think that's just like a problematic thing to say, and I'm much more of a--
it's just-- it's not me.
- I don't care. So just stick to calling him a pussy.
Although I find it curious that you don't think that's problematic.
- I tried that shit-talking thing and it just-- it didn't work out.
The guy started crying and the girl was in the wheelchair and it--
- You, you, uh... you talked shit to a girl in a wheelchair?
- She's just in the wheelchair temporarily, not permanently.
Her legs are just-- they're broken. They're not missing, man.
- Just to circle back, you're a good person?
- Yeah. - Huh.
Let me, um,
let me run something by you and maybe this will help.
- Okay. - Okay.
Maybe you're a bad person.
- Dude. - Just listen.
All the stuff you just said, bad person stuff.
I mean, even the thing about not swinging first.
You might not throw the first punch,
but you're still forcing that person into a situation which is just as bad.
And if that's the case,
if you're a bad person, then who cares about the rules?
If you want to fight, fight.
♪ dramatic music rising ♪
ALBERTO: Cheers, fellas. BOXERS: Cheers, Coach!
[indistinct chatter] ♪ soft music playing ♪
- What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Hey. - Dad. What is going on here?
- The fellas are throwing me a little goodbye party.
Where you been? I've been calling your phone.
You haven't been answering.
- I was at Armando's. - What were you doing there?
- Well, we were talking about how to get into a fight.
- Get into a fight?
What the hell is going on, Miguel?
- What's going on?
- Yeah. - Well, let's see. I'm moving.
My parents gave me no warning.
Not even a "Hey, Miguel, just a heads up, your whole life might get uprooted."
My dad thinks that I'm a coward.
- Hold on a second. - No, Dad. It's true.
[phone buzzing]
- Oh, my God. Okay.
I gotta go because they're about to get here, and they cannot see this.
- Miguel.
- Fucking balloons.
Fucking, I can't fucking-- Fuck.
Hey. - Hey, man.
- Were those balloons? - Yo, chill.
Let's go around the back 'cause my dad and I are just fighting right now.
- Lot of that going on with you, it seems.
- Somehow also none of it going on with you.
- But don't worry, I know who you're gonna fight.
Fucking bitch.
- No. I am not gonna fight a girl.
- Okay. Claudia Dominguez is taller than you.
Claudia Dominguez is faster than you. Claudia Dominguez is stronger than you.
So physically she has the advantage on you,
but she's also a fucking thief, and you're gonna fight her.
[Claudia yelling indistinctly] CASS: Give me my phone!
It was just on the table, now it's not on the table anymore?
[door slams] [bell dings]
- Mm-mm. I'm not doing it. - Okay.
- Okay? We're done talking about this.
What about me says that I would ever do something like that?
- Well, I just wanna point out,
three hours ago you made fun of a girl with shattered legs to her face.
So I mean that part.
- No, I-- First of all, I didn't see her, okay?
She was below eye line. She was at wheel height.
- That doesn't make it better. That might make it worse.
- You know what? It's actually a little sexist
that you won't even consider the idea of fighting Claudia.
SRINI: Mm-hmm.
CASS: Look, she's gonna throw the first punch for sure.
And you won't get in trouble because you'll be defending yourself
and you'll have three witnesses to testify in that fact.
This is our green light.
It's a matter of honor.
Please be the half Mexican, half Puerto Rican samurai
that I know you are.
What other choice do you have?
- Fuck. - Right.
- Let's go. - Fuck her.
- You're gonna get your phone back too. - I'm gettin' my phone back. Bitch.
SRINI: Yee-haw!
CASS: Now, just close your eyes and fuck that bitch up.
♪ jazz horn playing Latin riff ♪
[blades whooshing]
[hawk screeches]
[roaring]
- Miguel!
- Bro! Why are you dressed like that? We're doing Crouching Tigre.
- You bailed on me, man.
♪ battle drums beating ♪
[shrieking] [Miguel screaming]
[Cass and Srini chatting] - Oh, my God.
[line ringing]
DAVID [on voicemail]: Hey, it's David. Leave a message.
[beeps] - Hey, bro. I... [clicks tongue]
I completely-- I forgot, I'm sorry.
[phone buzzes]
[bell dings]
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
TEACHER: Michael Carrera. - Present.
TEACHER: Oscar Diaz. - Here.
TEACHER: Claudia Dominguez.
Claudia Dominguez?
That girl's never gonna come to school.
Estefany Fernandez. - Here.
- Just fight Estefany, bro.
- Bro, you were really gonna fight Claudia?
- You should have picked someone with a better attendance record.
- Look, I know I've said this every time, but I'm so glad this one didn't happen
for different reasons, but obvious reasons.
- Yeah, me too actually. - What are you--
How about let's meet at The Cave tonight?
Pick someone else. - Yo, dude. What?
The test is tomorrow, and we still haven't gone through the prep guide.
- Bro, it's a practice test. It doesn't even matter.
- It does to me.
Look, if you don't want to help, fine,
but don't start shittin' on it 'cause you're having a bad week.
- Fine. Fine. Fuck it.
How about this? Let's pick someone else right now. Okay?
Him. CASS: John?
MIGUEL: Yeah. John. [bell dings]
SRINI: John's like the nicest guy on earth.
He has a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign hanging in his locker.
- Yeah. - Yeah, well, he's alive and I'm mad,
so that's who I'm gonna fight. I'm gonna fuck him up.
SRINI: Well, he's bicycling peacefully away, so I guess tomorrow.
♪ discordant music playing ♪
ONE PUNCH MIGUEL [gruff voice]: Pain for everyone. Ha!
One Punch Migueeeel!
[maniacal laugh]
SRINI: Oh, my God. [Cass gasps]
ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Cass and Srini, I have something for you.
[metallic clang]
[Cass and Srini gasp] ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Pain!
[maniacal laugh] [Cass and Srini screaming]
- Miguel!
[roaring]
[thuds]
ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Nice try, David. But it's a little more like this!
[David groaning]
LYDIA: Put it next to Sophia's stuff in the truck.
[David sighs]
- Oh, my God.
Look at all this stuff. ALBERTO: Yeah. [chuckles]
Maybe we should have done that before we decided to move.
LYDIA: Yeah. Sorry, take this one and, and I think we're gonna have the truck...
[indistinct chatter]
♪ somber R&B music playing ♪
TEACHER: This is a practice test,
but it is of the utmost importance in order to move forward.
So, the test starts now.
[teacher speaking indistinctly]
MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Good job.
Mr. Perez.
Mr. Perez?
Oh, hey, good to have you back.
Would you like to keep reading with us?
- Yeah, sure. Uh... chapter one.
- That's the wrong page, Miguel.
STUDENT: Uh-uh. Don't look at this. Back up. Ugh!
- All right, chapter four.
- Also the wrong page.
- Okay, what-- what page are we on?
- Well, you would know that if you were actually paying attention
and reading along with the class.
- Yeah, of course, but as we both know, that wasn't happening.
So can we just leave me the hell alone about it?
[students murmuring]
- You were in the clear before you ran your mouth and said that.
Should I email your mom and dad about this?
Or perhaps you and I should further discuss this at lunch detention?
- I do not wanna sit here
and watch you eat another sad tuna sandwich or whatever.
- Wow. Today and Monday, lunch detention.
- No, no, no. Today? No, not today. Please. I can't today.
- You can't?
Okay, I understand. Doesn't work for you?
Then it's definitely gonna be today.
[bell rings]
[indistinct chatter]
- The sandwich stinks today, by the way.
[sighs] Dime. Yes, Miguel.
- Can I please go to the bathroom?
- Definitely no.
[phone buzzes]
- Hi. - Ah! You're like a cat.
- What's going on with you, Miguel?
You're one of my best students,
not the typical ones that make me wanna quit teaching.
[speaks Spanish] Huh?
[bell rings]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
MIGUEL: Where are you, Johnny Dork? Fuck!
♪ ominous sting ♪
- Watch where you're going, motherfucker.
- Get outta my way, man!
STUDENTS: Ohh!
- What the fuck you say to me?
- I said, you move, you big, dumb fuck!
[students laughing, reacting]
- [distorted voice] Fuck you, man.
♪
[knuckles cracking]
[mouthing]
♪
[inaudibly speaking]
[students gasp in slow-motion]
♪
- Dude, you are so lucky Mrs. Rodriguez likes you.
They ended up blaming the whole thing on Damien, so...
Should we recap some of the stuff that's happened this week?
- Bro, can we please not?
- You pissed off the oldest man in America in a grocery store.
CASS: Mm-hmm. - You unintentionally made friends with a guy you wanted to fight.
- Mm-hmm. - You got punched in the face by Cass.
- Sorry. - You made fun of a girl in a wheelchair,
and you tried to fight Damien Delgado,
but it ended with you accidentally punching your English teacher in the boob.
Do I have that right? - Yeah. Good thing the week's over.
Who knows what you would've did if you had another day?
You might have hit a nun with a brick. Threw a baby in a lake. [laughs]
I can't believe you swung on Damien Delgado.
- Man, I don't know. Okay?
Armando was in my head.
- Armando?
- Yeah. Am I a bad person? He said that I was, and I just--
- Wait, bro, you talked to Armando? When?
- After the Blake thing.
What you guys were telling me wasn't helping me get into a fight,
so I figured he'd know something that y'all didn't.
- And you don't think that's a little fucked up?
Whatever, man, it doesn't matter.
I'm just glad this shit is over. It was stupid anyways.
- What?
- I'm just saying, like, I'm glad it didn't happen because that's not you, bro.
You're Miguel, man.
- Yo, what the fuck?
You see me hurting, you know that I'm hurting.
And now is when you choose to do one of your David-knows-better lessons?
- Dude, I've been so supportive of this dumb shit since it started.
- No, you haven't. - Yes, I have.
Even though I thought this shit was stupid.
Even though you bailed on me with the test prep stuff.
Even though we all saw that this was getting worse and worse.
I've been here with you every time, watching you not fight someone, man.
- Fuck you, man. - Whoa! Hey, hey!
- Don't push me, Miguel. - I asked you for one thing. One!
- So did I. And because you couldn't be a friend for a fucking week,
I probably failed the fucking test.
A whole week wasted on this. Why?
Because you've got some shit going on with your dad,
or you're suddenly mad about something from years ago.
You don't even know. - Bro, fuck that.
It doesn't have to do with any of that.
And don't you say shit about my dad. You don't know a thing.
- I know you're a fucking bitch. How about that?
Your dad probably thinks you're a bitch too.
- Oh, yeah? Well, let's go ask your dad what he thinks about you.
[heavy breaths]
- Fuck you. Man, fuck you!
Tell 'em that you're moving. Tell 'em!
- What? - I know that you're fucking moving.
I saw the boxes in the truck and your dad, and I fucking saw it.
[dog barking]
- You're moving? - Yes.
Yes. I'm moving. Okay? In two days.
My parents just told me last week, and now you could go fuck off.
I probably would never see any of you again anyway.
- You knew you were moving and spent this whole week trying to fight?
- David, say something.
- No, man, fuck that guy.
♪ solemn music playing ♪
[knock on door]
- Dad?
- [sighs] You know we're moving in two days, right?
You should probably start putting stuff into these boxes,
'cause you know that's how boxes work.
You have to put stuff in them.
[sighs]
I assume you told the crew we were moving by now.
- Yeah.
But it doesn't matter.
Probably not gonna be friends anymore anyway.
I said some real foul stuff to David and
everything just feels like mud right now.
- You know you can still be friends after we move, right?
What'd you say to David?
- Dad, why are you always asking about David?
Ask about me. I'm your son.
I'm sorry that I'm not what you want me to be.
I tried this whole week and all it did was just make things more terrible.
- What do you mean you tried?
- Remember last weekend when Srini got into that fight?
I didn't jump in. Everyone else did and I didn't.
So they started making fun of me about it.
And then I come back home, and you tell me that we're moving
and that I'm too much of a coward to live in this neighborhood. So--
- That's not what I said. - Dad, you kind of did.
"Hey, Miguel, we're gonna move to a nicer neighborhood.
You're gonna be much more comfortable."
- That's not what I meant. - I just--
I thought that maybe if I get into a fight,
it'd make you wanna stay here,
that we wouldn't have to move and my friends would respect me because--
I don't-- I'm just-- Oh, my--
I'm saying it out loud right now and it just sounds really dumb.
But it made sense to me.
- Listen to me, Miguel.
We're moving to a nicer neighborhood. Yes.
But we're moving because it's a nicer neighborhood.
Has nothing to do with you.
At least not in the way that you're thinking.
When you're a parent, you owe a responsibility to your children.
You wanna make things better for them than they were for you.
That's what that's about.
[sighs]
That's what I meant.
Your mom with this job,
she has an opportunity to provide that for us.
- I know that she always wanted me to be just like you.
To be in the gym, but it's just not me.
And I know that David and his dad had it, but we don't.
- I love that you like your own thing, son.
I love that you're your own person.
Maybe you don't see it now, but one day you're gonna realize that you're that way
because you grew up in a house with two parents who love you.
David lost one of his parents.
I know he carries that weight. I see it in him.
You guys have been friends since you were five years old.
It's a lot of years of friendship.
I know it's not gonna be easy to leave your friends behind.
I know.
But you're gonna be okay, son.
I promise you.
Promise.
♪ contemplative electronic music playing ♪
[laughs]
- Hey, what's up, Cass?
Can you do me a favor?
CASS: Hey. Big Jay's come outside. Look at you, you're like the NBA.
DAVID: Yo, yo. CASS: Hey.
- What's going on, y'all? - Not much.
Um, uh, but also, uh, a, a little.
- Hey, bro.
- Nah, man. What the fuck? - No. I know, man. But--
- I would not have come
if I knew his ass was gonna be here. - I wanted to--
- Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. You can't leave like that.
Y'all gotta make this right. Y'all owe it to each other.
- Nah, fuck that. You owe it to us.
Y'all aren't the only two in this friendship.
You don't get to ruin it for everybody.
There are four parts to this. Four, not two, four.
The leader, the really nice one, the really hot one.
My crush.
- I'm sorry? - What?
- Clearly I like--
- Back up. - I'm into you, Cass. It's so--
- That was not clearly-- - What? You haven't seen the signs?
- Hey, look who it is. Indian Curry's back!
- This fucking guy again. SAUL [laughing]: Indian Curry.
SRINI: Hey, where's the wagon you use to carry around the bottom of your face?
- Surprised you showed back up after I put you in the dirt last week.
Oh, what's that thing about Indian religions believing in reincarnation?
[laughing] - I guess that's true.
- Fuck off, dude.
- Relax, Mike Tyson. I'm not talking to you.
- That's not even an insult. - Bro, take that bullshit somewhere else.
- This is where I took it. I took it right here--
♪ horn blowing fanfare ♪
[deep growl]
♪ dramatic drums beating ♪
♪ horn fanfare continues ♪
[crunches]
♪ music fades into thunderous roar ♪
[deep bass roaring]
[shouting]
CASS: It wasn't that bad, right? SRINI: No, no, it's fine.
- No, they suck.
- They've been assholes since, like, day one.
- I know. - You know what I mean?
- Oh, this looks bad though. Does it hurt?
- No, it's fine. No. It's good, it's good.
CASS: Makes you look tough. SRINI: And that's tough to do.
[Srini and Cass laughing]
- Well?
- Well what?
- Well, how did you like it, bro? Your first fight?
- Bro, it fucking sucked.
[both laughing]
- Yeah. - Horrible.
- I saw you got a clean one in there though.
- Mm-hmm. - Saved me.
- Listen, I, uh--
What I said to you was--
I didn't mean it.
I just--
- Miguel, I know.
Me too.
So, uh, you're, like, really moving then?
- Tomorrow, bro.
- I'm gonna miss you, bro.
Like for real.
- I'm gonna miss you too, bro.
- You know-- You gotta be gentle! - Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
- Be gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle.
- You motherfuckers acting like he's being sent off to war or something.
He's just going to Albany. It's like two hours away.
- You know how far that is? - It's not that bad.
SRINI: It's not that far. Let's get out of here.
MIGUEL: Can we watch a movie tonight?
SRINI: Bah! MIGUEL: What?
SRINI: Larry Turd. CASS: What?
SRINI: Larry Turd. That's what I could have called him.
[David and Miguel groaning] SRINI: That's a good one.
MIGUEL: No, wait, hold on, hold on. You should have said Donovan Bitchell.
Plays for the Utah Jizz.
[all laughing]
DAVID: Yes. CASS: Wait, wait, wait. Draymond Pee.
DAVID: Yeah. Oh, change it up. [Cass laughs]
[indistinct chatter continues]
♪ Agua by PJ Sin Suela and Bebo Dumont playing ♪
♪ singing in Spanish ♪
♪ song ends ♪