1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,471
‪《我叫莫妮卡》

4
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,807
‪-莫妮卡瘋了
‪-死要錢

5
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,975
‪莫妮卡是傳奇

6
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,519
‪-她太愛過河拆橋了
‪-那是行家手法

7
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,187
‪-她深得我心
‪-本日最驢!

8
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,272
‪她很愛找碴

9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,523
‪莫妮卡是傳奇?

10
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,358
‪她太愛過河拆橋了

11
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,944
‪-她情緒不穩
‪-本日最驢

12
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,365
‪她的事業結束了

13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,576
‪多謝鼓勵

14
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,954
‪我們上

15
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:42,167
‪我的寶貝

16
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,797
‪叫起來,寶貝

17
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:53,136
‪喔,寶貝!

18
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,099
‪喔,喬治亞州亞特蘭大!

19
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,935
‪喬治亞州亞特蘭大!

20
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,979
‪喔,寶貝!

21
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,859
‪現場的氣氛太感心了

22
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,280
‪喔,我的寶貝!

23
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,033
‪喔,我們做到了,寶貝!

24
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,451
‪我們做到了

25
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:31,299
‪莫妮卡...

26
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,553
‪老娘我是不是站上這個舞台了?

27
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:41,226
‪老娘我是不是站上這個舞台了?

28
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:50,068
‪我現在用盡了一切的力量

29
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,947
‪才好不讓自己哭出來,老鄉

30
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:07,585
‪我告訴各位,我好感恩

31
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,629
‪我好感恩

32
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,423
‪我要謝謝在場的每一位

33
00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,467
‪做我的後盾,厲害了

34
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,346
‪我要謝謝各位的加油打氣,厲害了

35
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:21,182
‪我要謝謝今晚買票進來的各位老鄉

36
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,350
‪你也是,白人寶貝

37
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,186
‪我要謝謝所有的大家

38
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:35,321
‪今晚當各位離開這場演出
‪將會知道我是何方神聖

39
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,740
‪今晚當各位離開現場

40
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:41,744
‪你們將會知道我的氣場是怎麼來的

41
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,372
‪今晚當各位離開這個劇場

42
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,666
‪你們將會說:“現在我懂了”

43
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,879
‪寶貝,那些人有所不知

44
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:55,091
‪那些人有所不知,當他們全都箭指我

45
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:57,427
‪把我罵得一文不值

46
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,513
‪說我哪裡不好、罵一堆胡說八道

47
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,599
‪有人在問:“莫妮卡

48
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:06,519
‪妳怎能忍受那些人這樣說妳?

49
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,606
‪感覺一切都是雲淡風清”

50
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,733
‪外界有所不知,寶貝...

51
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:16,196
‪我沒想過會在現場的
‪電視或舞台演出這樣講

52
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,947
‪因為這件事帶有污名

53
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,366
‪那些人不知道的是

54
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,911
‪我是唸特殊教育班的小孩

55
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,787
‪我要你們看看這是什麼樣子

56
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:29,083
‪看看唸特教班的小孩是怎樣,老鄉

57
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:32,587
‪我要你們看看遲緩兒是怎樣

58
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,839
‪我要你們瞭解,“阿呆喔”

59
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,507
‪老鄉...那就是我

60
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,221
‪老鄉...那就是我

61
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:45,642
‪我唸七年級到九年級那時

62
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,852
‪能用來罵人的話,我全都被罵過

63
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:52,440
‪我唸特殊教育班

64
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,984
‪老鄉,聽到沒有?

65
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,737
‪特殊,老鄉

66
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,032
‪教育,老鄉

67
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,494
‪像是有人會交互跳繩
‪好特殊喔,老鄉

68
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,120
‪教育,老鄉

69
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,751
‪特殊教育

70
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,339
‪寶貝,想要批評人的時候
‪請先搞清楚狀況

71
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,675
‪老娘我唸中學的時候

72
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,928
‪從七年級、八年級,到九年級

73
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,722
‪都是唸特殊教育班

74
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,891
‪我就先跟你們說了

75
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,768
‪免得有人還要上網查

76
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,187
‪我認真相信那是誤會,老鄉

77
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:38,569
‪我相信那真的是弄錯了
‪因為沒有寄信到家裡

78
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,863
‪沒有親師會

79
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:44,075
‪也沒跟教育委員會談過

80
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,619
‪我這一過去

81
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,416
‪到了那間中學

82
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,251
‪一身新行頭

83
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:56,337
‪精心打扮,穿著最潮的牛仔褲,寶貝

84
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:59,590
‪白色T恤,還搭上白鞋

85
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,302
‪我準備迎接七年級生活

86
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,763
‪而我注意到

87
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,016
‪我沒收到學校寄來的通知

88
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,313
‪不知道自己是唸哪一班

89
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,733
‪所以我說:
‪“這下子今年肯定會很特殊

90
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,986
‪沒有寄通知到家裡給我
‪還要我來學校拿

91
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,030
‪這真是太特殊了”

92
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,492
‪進去的時候,看到布告欄上

93
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,746
‪寫著一堆名字

94
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:33,041
‪對應著被分配到的班級

95
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:37,295
‪小朋友跑去找自己的名字
‪說自己是哪一班又哪一班

96
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,672
‪而我看著這個布告欄

97
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,804
‪問旁邊女生那邊的布告欄寫什麼
‪讓我看ㄧ下

98
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,559
‪我的資訊是裝在一個信封裡

99
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,732
‪各位,我的資訊是裝在一個信封裡

100
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,151
‪我早該知道這會是個問題

101
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,694
‪但我始終很樂觀

102
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,323
‪我始終是往好處看的那種人

103
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:09,327
‪所以看到我的資訊裝在信封裡
‪我自然會說

104
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:14,248
‪“這下子肯定很特殊

105
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:17,418
‪學校把資訊裝在信封裡耶”

106
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,837
‪所以我打開信封

107
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:24,342
‪有個人問說:“裡頭寫了什麼?”

108
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,052
‪老鄉,我來解答

109
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:30,848
‪裡頭寫著“B...217”

110
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,475
‪對吧?

111
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:36,562
‪我心想B是代表“一級棒”

112
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,734
‪我是這兒一級棒的學生

113
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,695
‪我要去217號教室了啦

114
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:49,867
‪我人在那家中學的二樓

115
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,912
‪老鄉,只有很特殊的新學生

116
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,872
‪才會被分到二樓的教室

117
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:58,626
‪我要去B217教室

118
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,796
‪當我到了217號教室

119
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,673
‪沒看到開頭有寫B

120
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:08,302
‪但我心想沒關係,起碼有寫217

121
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,847
‪所以我霸氣走進教室

122
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,807
‪穿著一身新行頭

123
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,477
‪老師在那兒,我把資料給她

124
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,938
‪因為她問我是哪位

125
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,650
‪我說:“莫妮卡伊姆斯”

126
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,654
‪她說她沒看到我的資料

127
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,990
‪我說:“我的資料在這兒”

128
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:34,537
‪她接下我的資料,有點竊笑

129
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,040
‪我不懂這竊笑的意思

130
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,710
‪但我懶得管她,因為我一級棒

131
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,090
‪“管她去死”,對吧?

132
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,343
‪她一邊竊笑一邊說,“不對啦

133
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,262
‪不是這間217教室

134
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,515
‪妳要去一樓教室,在後面”

135
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,144
‪原來B是後面的意思

136
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,646
‪是後面,我要去後面

137
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,027
‪所以等我到了B217教室

138
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,072
‪我走進這間死教室

139
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:14,535
‪我看到一個女的戴了頭盔

140
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,747
‪還有下巴固定帶

141
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,833
‪我說:“完蛋了”

142
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,007
‪然後又帶著樂觀的態度覺得

143
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,637
‪“對,這或許是她的時尚宣言

144
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,055
‪這是中學

145
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,517
‪那女的或許想說
‪要用這頂頭盔讓大家驚艷”

146
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,978
‪所以她戴著頭盔,對吧?

147
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,440
‪後來我坐下的時候

148
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,360
‪我看到一個白人男生

149
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,571
‪他把膠水

150
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,991
‪塗在自己的手上

151
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,494
‪我很喜歡被逗樂,老鄉

152
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,330
‪我超喜歡被逗樂的

153
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,915
‪我有啦啦隊員體質

154
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,376
‪我就這樣看著他手上的膠水乾掉

155
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,796
‪被他在手上這樣捲啊捲的

156
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,257
‪小提米知道我正看著他

157
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,300
‪所以這傢伙成了魔術師

158
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,552
‪他就這樣...

159
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,682
‪然後他說...

160
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:23,521
‪我說:“糗了,我被分到特殊教育班

161
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:34,365
‪我是唸特殊教育班,可惡”

162
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,743
‪但你們認為我因此崩潰了嗎?

163
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:42,039
‪我看到了這當中的好處
‪因為當我看著黑板

164
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,667
‪我看到了老師今天要教什麼

165
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,877
‪我說:“我在這一班肯定是第一名

166
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,840
‪三原色、二次色

167
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,634
‪榮譽榜,我來了!”

168
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:04,103
‪我就是在這時候

169
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,940
‪發現我媽是文盲

170
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,152
‪你們真的是胡搞瞎搞

171
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,487
‪你們真的很胡搞瞎搞

172
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:17,408
‪聽到我媽媽不識字,竟然還在笑

173
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,869
‪你們真的很壞心

174
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,666
‪不是我們真有談過這件事

175
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,710
‪不是坐下來促膝長談那樣

176
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,754
‪只是觀察得出的結論

177
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:34,091
‪我或許不是在場學業成績最優異的人

178
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,470
‪因為我以前是唸教室在後面的特教班

179
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,764
‪但是不礙事,老鄉

180
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,140
‪但事情不一樣

181
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,684
‪我還是看得出來

182
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:47,229
‪因為我很有觀察力
‪我會觀察事情,對吧?

183
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,690
‪我拿出老師寫的信

184
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,194
‪這個臭老師還寫信要我帶回家

185
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:59,158
‪說什麼“莫妮卡太聒噪”

186
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,411
‪這又不是什麼新鮮事

187
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:05,373
‪我這輩子都是這樣啊

188
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:09,085
‪“她太聒噪,害同學分心

189
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,880
‪下次再犯就得要召開親師會”

190
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,132
‪我已經先看過了這封信

191
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,386
‪所以我把這封信帶回家

192
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,222
‪各位,我有個重點,就是很誠實

193
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,765
‪我是誠實女王

194
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,644
‪要是我做錯了,我很誠實
‪我會說自己搞砸了

195
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,773
‪所以一路上回家,我有點緊張

196
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,901
‪因為要給我媽看這封信

197
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,445
‪那個白人說我太聒噪

198
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,699
‪不是只有他這樣說
‪我媽也跟我這樣說過

199
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,537
‪所以我家現在不是很喜歡我

200
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,706
‪是吧?

201
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,126
‪所以我到了家,把這封信給我媽

202
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,212
‪她打開這封信

203
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,797
‪我告訴各位

204
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,342
‪我最初說要在台上講這件事
‪我先生跟我說

205
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,302
‪-他說什麼?
‪-老鄉,我會告訴你

206
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,808
‪他說:“老婆

207
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,228
‪不要說妳媽媽是文盲

208
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,439
‪這樣有點狠”

209
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:15,109
‪我從十年級就已經認識我先生

210
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,986
‪從14歲認識到現在

211
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:22,366
‪他是我這輩子遇過最好心的人

212
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:25,202
‪所以我看著他說:“我就知道

213
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,751
‪你會說這種話,老鄉

214
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,837
‪我從十年級就認識你了

215
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:39,008
‪但你也是從十年級就認識我了

216
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,302
‪我媽又不是有閱讀障礙,老鄉

217
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,513
‪她是完全不識字耶!”

218
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,643
‪好,所以我把那封信給她

219
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,563
‪我等著被她唸一頓

220
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,523
‪我等著她走過來說

221
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,942
‪“我不是說過要妳閉上嘴巴嗎?”

222
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,403
‪我等著我媽狂唸我一頓

223
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,113
‪她看了看這封信

224
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,787
‪她抬頭看我

225
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,622
‪她看我的時候,我面帶微笑

226
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:13,083
‪我要一路演到底
‪裝作我也不知道信裡寫什麼

227
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,589
‪她低頭看那封信,又抬頭看我說

228
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,091
‪“妮基,這真的很棒”

229
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:27,598
‪我心想:“我媽真的不識字!”

230
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,687
‪我媽真的不識字,靠

231
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,197
‪我沒有在打分數,事實就是如此

232
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:46,450
‪媽的她不識字

233
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:53,374
‪後來我想要現場教學一下

234
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,627
‪“三橫一豎王”

235
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:04,009
‪想說在特殊教育班

236
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,179
‪不可能會有種族歧視

237
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:12,977
‪在特教班哪可能會有種族歧視

238
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,020
‪因為唸特教班的人

239
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,982
‪都被認為很特殊

240
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,943
‪不是那種有天分的特殊

241
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,028
‪而是有特殊需要的特殊

242
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,782
‪我們全都被放在胡搞瞎搞的名單

243
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:30,828
‪唸特教班的人都被放在垃圾名單上

244
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,080
‪我們每個人都要吃藥

245
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,291
‪但他們沒給我吃藥,想得美

246
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:42,172
‪有個麥金尼老師

247
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,218
‪麥金尼老師是白人

248
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,679
‪白得徹底的那種白人

249
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:57,229
‪白人聽了很疑惑
‪什麼叫做白得徹底?

250
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,941
‪就是不喜歡黑人的白人

251
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,569
‪白得徹底

252
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:07,531
‪我這時唸七年級,寶貝

253
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:11,160
‪你們得要了解我一出生就有個性

254
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,872
‪我天生的個性是,不會主動去找碴

255
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,791
‪我天生的個性是,奮鬥再奮鬥

256
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:20,753
‪我天生的個性是
‪路見不平,拔刀相助

257
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,173
‪我天生就是這種個性,對吧?

258
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,968
‪所以有一天,我們坐在教室

259
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,930
‪麥金尼老師站起來說:“注意聽

260
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:36,560
‪被叫到名字的,就去教室右邊

261
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,606
‪沒被叫到名字的

262
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:44,568
‪就去教室左邊”

263
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:49,573
‪光是做完這個指示
‪就花了我們大概20分鐘

264
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:56,205
‪我玩得超樂的:“哪一邊?”

265
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:58,582
‪對吧?

266
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,043
‪等到大家都就定位

267
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,130
‪我注意到了所有的白人小孩

268
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,424
‪都是在右邊

269
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:12,388
‪而所有的黑人小孩,都他媽的在左邊

270
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:17,977
‪老師跟白人小孩說:
‪“聽著,你們都有著色本

271
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,562
‪字謎遊戲

272
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:21,939
‪還可以堆積木

273
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,400
‪你們可以做這些事”

274
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,403
‪然後他站在我們前面

275
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,573
‪他說:“至於這個團體呢...”

276
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,660
‪他一說“這個團體”

277
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,538
‪麥爾坎X就叫我出動了

278
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,583
‪“...這個團體

279
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,920
‪我要教你們怎麼用正確的文法說話”

280
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,631
‪我立馬舉手

281
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,011
‪麥金尼老師說:
‪“莫妮‘卞’,什麼事?”

282
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,812
‪因為我不是叫什麼“卞”的

283
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,816
‪所以我繼續舉手

284
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:15,034
‪然後那個白人看著我說:
‪“莫妮卡,什麼事?”

285
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,619
‪我說:“我需要去辦公室”

286
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:21,623
‪他問我為什麼要去辦公室
‪我說這樣我才能打電話給我爸爸

287
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,792
‪他問我為什麼要打給我爸爸

288
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,837
‪我說這樣我才能告訴他
‪你隔離了班上的學生

289
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,840
‪白人一邊、黑人一邊

290
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,009
‪你說你要教我們怎麼講話

291
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,928
‪結果小提米剛剛才吃掉了一整瓶膠水

292
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,979
‪寶貝,那個白人看我的表情

293
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,733
‪活像是在說:“臭小鬼
‪要是我現在有頭套...”

294
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,445
‪他就一直瞪著我看

295
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,865
‪而我的祖先說:
‪“丫頭,死盯著這個王八蛋

296
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,076
‪千萬不要挪開視線

297
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,661
‪妳最好也別眨眼”

298
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,671
‪然後他說:“大家回到座位”

299
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,924
‪好吧,這樣才對嘛

300
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,719
‪那個白人不喜歡我
‪但我坐在教室前排

301
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:19,139
‪因為我要他每天都會看到我

302
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,934
‪因為我知道他有多賊

303
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,769
‪我無法容忍這種鳥事

304
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,939
‪你如果亂來,我一定會讓你知道厲害

305
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,649
‪沒有一次例外

306
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:31,360
‪我唸七年級

307
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,282
‪認識了一些很美好的人

308
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,243
‪我把話說清楚,寶貝

309
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,579
‪我認識一些很美好的人
‪被我們當做很特殊

310
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,749
‪他們非常美好

311
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:49,211
‪擁有非常豐富的故事

312
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,295
‪和歷史

313
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,550
‪我坐在教室裡感受這些人的美好

314
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,677
‪每每都覺得非常神奇

315
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,554
‪而我坐在教室前排

316
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,098
‪旁邊是兩個愛霸凌的女同學

317
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:04,685
‪你們都知道我看不慣霸凌

318
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,146
‪而那兩個霸凌女一直在說

319
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,148
‪後頭戴著頭盔的女同學

320
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,861
‪話說後頭戴著頭盔的女同學
‪完全不會去招惹別人

321
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,405
‪她都很友善,說話像是這樣子

322
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,615
‪我進教室,她會這樣

323
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:24,538
‪我們就是這樣溝通,美好極了

324
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,083
‪我沒問過她頭盔的事

325
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,878
‪她也從不說話,我們相處得很好

326
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:34,423
‪所以那兩個霸凌女
‪想要找戴頭盔那個女同學的麻煩

327
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,049
‪我當然看不下去

328
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,302
‪那兩個一整個星期都在講

329
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:43,056
‪要怎麼弄那個坐在後頭
‪戴頭盔又有下巴固定帶的女同學

330
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:46,185
‪我坐在那兒心想
‪絕對不能讓這種事發生

331
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,896
‪我要來處理ㄧ下

332
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,107
‪所以到了週四

333
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,860
‪我要直接槓上那兩個

334
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,323
‪我們都很特殊

335
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:02,951
‪好嗎?

336
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,039
‪好戲準備要上場了...對吧?

337
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,957
‪所以我跟那個帶頭的說...

338
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,752
‪一般都有帶頭的和跟班

339
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,630
‪兩個都愛霸凌,但有一個是帶頭的

340
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,841
‪然後跟班的只會照帶頭說的做

341
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,927
‪那個跟班發出這種聲音

342
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,554
‪這在以前會讓我大爆氣

343
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,559
‪所以週四那天,準備要放學的時候

344
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:32,105
‪我準備要跟那兩個愛霸凌的說
‪我絕對不容許這種事

345
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:34,274
‪我會讓戴頭盔的同學

346
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,610
‪知道妳們兩個要弄她

347
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,654
‪所以我走到那兩個面前

348
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,656
‪我說:“聽好了

349
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,784
‪我明天就會跟她說

350
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:47,287
‪因為她戴頭盔,所以妳們要弄她”

351
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,957
‪我心想這個帶頭的已經被我嚇到了

352
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,251
‪因為我都當面嗆她了

353
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,338
‪結果那個帶頭的看著我說
‪“妳這個智障死胖女

354
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,757
‪妳要是不馬上滾開...”

355
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:02,678
‪我心想這不是我要的回答

356
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,974
‪這個帶頭的很特殊

357
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,731
‪你們都懂

358
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,825
‪我本來不知道那兩個愛霸凌的臭女生

359
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,493
‪是從東巴爾的摩來的

360
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:31,623
‪巴爾的摩來的人都知道
‪東巴爾的摩來的女生很會打架

361
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:36,044
‪她們把人打到地上還在那邊猛踹

362
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,759
‪所以我走到後面跟伊莉莎白說

363
00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:44,303
‪“聽好了,伊莉莎白

364
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,181
‪那兩個愛霸凌的女生這整個星期

365
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,309
‪都在說妳壞話

366
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:54,479
‪所以等她們來找碴的時候
‪妳得要先對付歐麗莎

367
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,982
‪妳得要先把她打爆

368
00:21:56,982 --> 00:22:01,695
‪她只要一到後頭來問妳頭盔的事

369
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,489
‪妳就這樣看著她

370
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:08,201
‪然後妳把戴著頭盔的頭往後仰

371
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:10,579
‪再往前朝她的嘴敲下去

372
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:13,665
‪使盡吃奶的力氣敲下去

373
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,668
‪對準她的臭嘴,敲得她滿地找牙

374
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:18,545
‪結果伊莉莎白看著我說...

375
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,389
‪我說這是在演哪齣啊

376
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:35,812
‪我頓了一下看著她說:
‪“我很欣賞妳”

377
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:40,609
‪我相當欣賞這個音效

378
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,239
‪然後麥金尼老師說

379
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,494
‪“伊莉莎白,不要再笑了”

380
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,791
‪我心想“原來她的笑聲是這樣喔?

381
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,920
‪這下子一定會很好玩”

382
00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:06,885
‪從那天起

383
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,471
‪一直到今天

384
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:14,851
‪伊莉莎白和我依然是好姐妹

385
00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,193
‪而美好的地方來了

386
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,029
‪伊莉莎白戴頭盔的時候

387
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:28,365
‪沒辦法說話

388
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:32,577
‪這時她沒辦法說話

389
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:37,374
‪或是用我們所知的笑聲那樣笑

390
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:41,545
‪但是當她拿下頭盔

391
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:45,340
‪她說起話來就跟你我...

392
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:46,925
‪一樣清楚

393
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:52,389
‪她只是無法控制她的脖子

394
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,169
‪而我非常榮幸

395
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,714
‪九年級那時她從廁所打電話給我

396
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,300
‪因為我們知道彼此即將分道揚鑣

397
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,469
‪我們也無法維繫之前那樣的友誼

398
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:31,595
‪因為我們年紀還太小

399
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:34,347
‪沒辦法讓父母帶我們去對方那兒見面

400
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,059
‪而她在九年級的時候
‪從廁所打電話給我

401
00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:42,606
‪她比了這個姿勢,像是在說“等一下”

402
00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:46,234
‪她脫掉了那個死下巴固定帶

403
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,946
‪還有那一頂死頭盔

404
00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:51,740
‪然後說:“莫妮卡”

405
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:57,370
‪我說:“怎樣?”

406
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:02,417
‪我們那次都快笑死了

407
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:05,670
‪伊麗莎白說:
‪“少了那頂死頭盔我就可以說話”

408
00:25:16,097 --> 00:25:17,098
‪是這樣的...

409
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,727
‪我從小就住在

410
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:25,982
‪真誠黑人大道

411
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:29,069
‪我要各位瞭解,寶貝

412
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:31,571
‪我在馬里蘭州巴爾的摩

413
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,740
‪真誠黑人大道長大

414
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:35,992
‪身邊都是真誠的老鄉

415
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,870
‪而在真誠黑人大道的第一條規矩是

416
00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:41,873
‪人不犯我,我不犯人

417
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:46,127
‪因為你不知道自己會犯到誰
‪惹錯人可能會去掉半條命

418
00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:49,548
‪在真誠老鄉大道就是這樣

419
00:25:50,131 --> 00:25:52,634
‪說給大家瞭解ㄧ下我的來歷,寶貝

420
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,303
‪我來自真誠黑人大道

421
00:25:55,303 --> 00:25:58,974
‪所以要打架的時候
‪他們不知道我會不會還手

422
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,977
‪搞不好老娘是從剛果來的,老鄉

423
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:04,062
‪我是大猩猩

424
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:09,651
‪是這樣的

425
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:13,196
‪我有個唐諾舅舅

426
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:18,410
‪我的唐諾舅舅很不可思議

427
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:20,537
‪非常神奇

428
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,707
‪我的唐諾舅舅非常有夠黑

429
00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:26,293
‪也非常有夠同性戀

430
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:30,922
‪在1930和40年代出生
‪又非常有夠黑

431
00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,882
‪非常有夠同性戀

432
00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:36,886
‪老鄉,那等於是集各種箭靶於一身
‪遠超過你能想像

433
00:26:36,886 --> 00:26:39,931
‪當你非常有夠黑又非常有夠同性戀

434
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:43,018
‪在那時就連自己的家人
‪都不想跟你有瓜葛

435
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,895
‪而我眼看著他們孤立我的唐諾舅舅

436
00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:48,398
‪我眼看著他們

437
00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:51,443
‪把同住一個屋簷下的他,攆出家門

438
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,945
‪但是厲害了,我真的被他逗樂

439
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:58,199
‪因為每週五,我媽都會去我外婆家

440
00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,576
‪打撲克牌

441
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:03,663
‪當我說這些人是賭徒
‪我希望各位聽進去

442
00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:06,041
‪他們真的是賭性堅強

443
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:11,087
‪我被毒蟲、賭徒、酒鬼和皮條客帶大

444
00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:12,881
‪我阿姨絕對不會承認

445
00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:16,217
‪但我知道她賣身給那個保險員

446
00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:18,053
‪因為那老兄一進來就上樓

447
00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:21,056
‪“你是在賣那種保險啊,老鄉?”

448
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,018
‪我阿姨看著我說:“房租”
‪那好吧

449
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:27,604
‪我是這樣被帶大的

450
00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:30,565
‪他們會圍坐在餐桌,寶貝

451
00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:33,777
‪我說的可是餐桌中間有一大筆錢

452
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,695
‪各式各樣的紙牌

453
00:27:35,695 --> 00:27:39,783
‪老鄉,只要是能賭的,他們通通都賭

454
00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:41,868
‪而每個人手頭都很緊

455
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,121
‪根本沒錢卻還硬要賭

456
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:48,625
‪上梁不正下梁歪

457
00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:51,711
‪我第一次看到這陣仗還心想

458
00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:53,713
‪晚上到了結束他們會說

459
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:57,092
‪“好了,大家把錢分一分
‪東西收一收,我們玩得很愉快“

460
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:59,511
‪但事實是贏錢的卻還數落輸錢的人

461
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:04,766
‪而每週五

462
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:06,643
‪我的唐諾舅舅

463
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:08,687
‪都會去酒吧

464
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,272
‪而每週五,都有同樣的三個人

465
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:14,234
‪把他打一頓

466
00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:17,320
‪拿走他的錢
‪把爛醉如泥的他打發回家

467
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,739
‪酒吧裡的那些人,有一點我還挺欣賞

468
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:21,950
‪就是他們打完他,從不拿光他的東西

469
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,370
‪打完他之後
‪只會拿走正好夠他們喝上一整晚

470
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,705
‪然後坐計程車回家的錢

471
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,415
‪這些人是可敬的酒鬼,各位

472
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:31,626
‪他們不是把我舅打一頓
‪讓他孑然一身

473
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,837
‪而我舅每週五回家

474
00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:37,340
‪都是醉醺醺又滿身傷

475
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:41,177
‪那時我會是坐在餐廳看其他人打牌

476
00:28:41,177 --> 00:28:43,680
‪而他從前門走到廚房

477
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,849
‪距離沒多遠,前門...

478
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,144
‪老鄉,廚房到了

479
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:53,231
‪而這當中就是餐廳,好嗎?

480
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:56,151
‪對,他走到了廚房

481
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,902
‪他會拿出一根熱狗

482
00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:03,825
‪從包裝裡拿出一根熱狗
‪用叉子插著,老鄉

483
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:06,494
‪不是放進平底鍋裡煎熱狗

484
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:08,580
‪是用叉子插著,然後開火

485
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:13,376
‪用叉子叉著熱狗,站在瓦斯爐旁邊烤

486
00:29:13,376 --> 00:29:15,003
‪我心想:“看你表現了

487
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,964
‪我愛死了這每一分鐘”

488
00:29:17,964 --> 00:29:22,927
‪然後他會罵那些在酒吧裡打他的人

489
00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:26,181
‪“下個禮拜我一定要把你們揍扁

490
00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:30,351
‪你們惹錯人了,我可是唐諾
‪我要把你們每個人都打趴

491
00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:32,479
‪我要打趴你們,打趴你們的女友

492
00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:33,813
‪我要打趴每一個人”

493
00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:36,483
‪我就一副
‪“對啊,唐諾舅舅,打趴他們”

494
00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:39,110
‪我這是在心裡說,看得很樂這樣

495
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:43,198
‪然後我的外婆說:
‪“唐諾,我真是受夠你這樣了

496
00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:45,033
‪如果你敢當面跟他們這樣說

497
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:48,244
‪他們就不會每週五都把你打一頓
‪你的錢也就還會在了

498
00:29:48,244 --> 00:29:50,079
‪快給我閉嘴”

499
00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:55,502
‪我的唐諾舅舅聽了從廚房走出來

500
00:29:55,502 --> 00:30:00,089
‪整個人都清醒了過來
‪站在我外婆面前低頭看著她

501
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:03,843
‪那可是他親媽,然後他說:“媽媽

502
00:30:03,843 --> 00:30:06,095
‪妳可以親我的老二!”

503
00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:09,307
‪我聽到的反應跟你們一樣

504
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,603
‪但我真的是被他逗樂了

505
00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:14,979
‪所以李丹尼爾斯,聽好了

506
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:18,066
‪那天晚上我說:“如果我有老二
‪你們通通吸我的老二算了”

507
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:20,693
‪那是在對我的唐諾舅舅致敬,老鄉!

508
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:25,365
‪那是我在跟唐諾舅舅說:
‪“老舅...你依然在我心中”

509
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:29,744
‪沒錯,寶貝

510
00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:33,623
‪李丹尼爾斯,那就是我的唐諾舅舅...

511
00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:37,252
‪我說我被很強壯的黑人女性帶大

512
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:38,545
‪請各位聽進去

513
00:30:39,045 --> 00:30:42,632
‪我真的是被很強壯的黑人女性帶大

514
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:45,218
‪我說的那種力量

515
00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:46,511
‪讓人不敢相信

516
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,929
‪又無法否認

517
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:51,057
‪我被很強壯的黑人女性帶大

518
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:52,976
‪她們超級強壯

519
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:54,394
‪超級錯誤

520
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,854
‪超級悲慘

521
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,313
‪超級不服氣

522
00:30:57,313 --> 00:30:59,816
‪超級生氣也超級老練

523
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,526
‪以上皆是

524
00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,486
‪她們超級強壯

525
00:31:03,987 --> 00:31:05,196
‪直到她們錯了為止

526
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:10,702
‪所以看著她們那樣

527
00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:12,328
‪從小看到大

528
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,248
‪你們認為我會變成哪種女人?

529
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:19,544
‪你們認為我在男人面前
‪會變成哪種女人?

530
00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:26,926
‪你們想要聊女強人嗎?

531
00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,763
‪老鄉,翻開字典查“女強人”

532
00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:33,975
‪就是我在街坊的寫照

533
00:31:37,812 --> 00:31:40,398
‪因為我就是那樣被帶大

534
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:44,027
‪我爸跟我說:“賺錢的是老大”

535
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:47,071
‪而我始終是賺錢的那個人

536
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:50,283
‪所以規矩都是我在訂

537
00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:52,577
‪不用討論

538
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:56,080
‪來自兩人關係當中的那種氣勢

539
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,166
‪就是輕描淡寫的一句

540
00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,084
‪“那就九點見囉”

541
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:05,924
‪“三點車子會去接你”

542
00:32:06,549 --> 00:32:08,176
‪這樣就瞭了

543
00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:09,802
‪我就是那樣子

544
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:13,306
‪所以我結了三次婚

545
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:17,685
‪各位,不要這樣反應,不要評斷我

546
00:32:17,685 --> 00:32:18,895
‪不要那樣

547
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:21,606
‪我結了三次婚

548
00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:24,317
‪而這次是我的最後一次

549
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,278
‪其實這是我的第一次

550
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,239
‪因為這是第一次我懂得自己的分寸

551
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,533
‪要怎麼做黑人男性的太太

552
00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:34,827
‪我們有很多人都不懂

553
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:40,833
‪我沒在批評,老鄉
‪但我得要學習自己的分寸

554
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:42,710
‪因為我會披上披風

555
00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,630
‪讓披風隨風飄送,寶貝

556
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:49,425
‪我還記得
‪要讓披風退休的那一刻,可惡

557
00:32:49,425 --> 00:32:54,681
‪恍如昨日,我起床時還是女強人模式

558
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,183
‪我起床,主導全場

559
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,686
‪那時《帕克一家》正在拍最後一季

560
00:33:00,186 --> 00:33:02,522
‪我出演熱門電視影集

561
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,190
‪-沒錯
‪-拜託ㄧ下,老鄉

562
00:33:06,609 --> 00:33:08,027
‪拜託ㄧ下,老鄉

563
00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:13,866
‪我們是帕克一家

564
00:33:13,866 --> 00:33:15,743
‪沒錯,寶貝

565
00:33:20,915 --> 00:33:21,958
‪所以我起床

566
00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:25,920
‪我早上八點要進棚

567
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,256
‪我六點起來

568
00:33:28,756 --> 00:33:30,174
‪洗澡

569
00:33:31,217 --> 00:33:33,928
‪進去房間和孩子玩ㄧ下

570
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:36,472
‪我回來親ㄧ下我的先生

571
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:40,435
‪我說:“爹地,等我從片場回來再見”

572
00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:43,229
‪他說:“老婆
‪好好享受不可思議的一天”

573
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:49,360
‪我坐進超豪華的賓士雙座敞篷車

574
00:33:50,611 --> 00:33:53,656
‪或許我開這種車有點大隻
‪但我才懶得管

575
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,580
‪我在車裡感覺很卡

576
00:34:05,334 --> 00:34:09,672
‪我到了片場...
‪跟大家分享ㄧ下當中的運作

577
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:13,009
‪好讓你們瞭解怎會有人因此迷失自我

578
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,303
‪我到了片場

579
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:17,972
‪有寫著我的名字的停車格

580
00:34:18,514 --> 00:34:23,144
‪我連車子都還沒停好
‪就有人幫我開車門

581
00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:26,647
‪幫我把我需要的東西
‪從車上搬去我的休息室

582
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:29,108
‪然後他們有人護送我進休息室

583
00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:31,611
‪再來有其他人到我的休息室

584
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:34,989
‪敲門之後帶我去梳化

585
00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:37,909
‪我梳化完之後,另一個女生過來說

586
00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,577
‪“可以準備換裝了”

587
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:43,456
‪我換裝完之後上台

588
00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:46,292
‪可以演出這個一生難得的角色

589
00:34:46,292 --> 00:34:47,794
‪寶貝,沒有人可以告訴我

590
00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:51,047
‪在這些時刻的人生不美好

591
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:54,509
‪因為我所有的夢想都成了真實的人生

592
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:57,136
‪下午五點,正準備回家

593
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:02,225
‪片場一些製作人都有這些小水晶飾品

594
00:35:02,725 --> 00:35:04,185
‪這些小水晶飾品

595
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:07,063
‪愛跟風就會是這樣,我不是她

596
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:09,774
‪我不是那種會花一萬美元買皮包的人

597
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,776
‪我不會去買紅底高跟鞋

598
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:14,487
‪搞得雙腳痛得要死

599
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,823
‪穿一次會脾氣暴躁兩天

600
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:19,450
‪因為小腳趾還卡在大腳趾上

601
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:21,369
‪完全拔不開

602
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:24,664
‪寶貝,我不是那種人
‪我這女孩很簡單

603
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:28,292
‪對吧?

604
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:30,753
‪但人家都有這些水晶飾品

605
00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,840
‪我感受到了同儕壓力

606
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,802
‪“莫妮卡,妳得要去比佛利中心
‪買水晶飾品

607
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:39,178
‪好可愛”,對吧?

608
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:42,265
‪我不喜歡這玩意兒
‪但因為那些女製作人都有

609
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:44,725
‪所以我得要去買水晶飾品

610
00:35:44,725 --> 00:35:48,729
‪才好跟她們都一樣
‪“嘿,我有水晶飾品了”

611
00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,439
‪對吧?

612
00:35:50,439 --> 00:35:52,108
‪所以我坐上車

613
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,445
‪我要去比佛利中心,店家在那兒

614
00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:00,199
‪我打給我的寶貝說:“爹地

615
00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:03,536
‪我回家前要先去比佛利中心一趟

616
00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:04,954
‪我得要去飾品店”

617
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:08,040
‪他說:“祝妳玩得愉快
‪慢慢逛,等妳回家見”

618
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,917
‪我說:“好喔,回家見”

619
00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:12,753
‪我一坐上車,就拿出大麻菸

620
00:36:12,753 --> 00:36:15,006
‪我先把話說清楚

621
00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:17,800
‪因為怕你們有人想知道
‪我會不會呼麻?我會

622
00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:21,012
‪這是天賜

623
00:36:22,138 --> 00:36:26,142
‪耶穌有令

624
00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:27,560
‪對吧?

625
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,897
‪我是買最好的
‪我不買街角在賣的那種

626
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,815
‪我是抽藥用大麻

627
00:36:32,815 --> 00:36:36,027
‪早在藥用大麻合法前,我就在抽了

628
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,904
‪真的是真的

629
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,614
‪所以我是抽好大麻,對吧?

630
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,992
‪去看大麻醫師,他問我哪裡不舒服

631
00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:44,702
‪我說:“渾身都不舒服

632
00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:51,167
‪給我最好的,我諸事不順”

633
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:55,671
‪他開給我的大麻真是太神了

634
00:36:55,671 --> 00:36:57,965
‪對吧?所以我抽了一小口

635
00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:00,635
‪熄菸,放進祕密夾層

636
00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:04,138
‪因為我知道
‪在比佛利中心要找人泊車

637
00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:08,351
‪我在比佛利中心給人泊車就學過教訓

638
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,187
‪因為把大麻菸放在菸灰缸

639
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:13,606
‪那些泊車小弟會偷抽

640
00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:16,734
‪等他們幫忙把車開回來
‪看著你像是在說:

641
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,569
‪“我抽到茫了”

642
00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:20,655
‪所以我找人泊車的時候

643
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:24,325
‪都會把大麻菸放進特別的夾層

644
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,077
‪我下車

645
00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,536
‪我進到那家飾品店

646
00:37:27,536 --> 00:37:29,914
‪擺滿了那些水晶飾品

647
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:31,832
‪我進去的時候,店裡只有我一個客人

648
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:33,960
‪店員是一個白人女性

649
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,420
‪我走進去的時候,那個人沒有問好

650
00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:38,547
‪而這自動就成了一個問題,可惡

651
00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:40,716
‪應該要說“歡迎光臨”之類的

652
00:37:40,716 --> 00:37:44,887
‪我心想這個死店員
‪我是要來買水晶飾品

653
00:37:44,887 --> 00:37:48,307
‪因為那些女製作人都有水晶飾品

654
00:37:48,307 --> 00:37:50,393
‪所以我要來處理一下她的態度

655
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:51,727
‪我走過去

656
00:37:52,561 --> 00:37:56,232
‪看到了一個小水晶河馬

657
00:37:57,233 --> 00:38:01,279
‪寶貝,我認為河馬是叢林裡

658
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:02,905
‪最性感的動物

659
00:38:02,905 --> 00:38:05,408
‪你們注意過母河馬是怎麼走路的嗎?

660
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:07,618
‪有沒有注意過母河馬走路的時候

661
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,704
‪那個姿勢總像是在說:“快來上我”

662
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,418
‪“我準備好了”

663
00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:19,338
‪所以當我先生跟我說
‪“快把河馬帶過來”

664
00:38:19,338 --> 00:38:21,632
‪“老鄉,快來上我”

665
00:38:23,509 --> 00:38:24,552
‪真美好

666
00:38:25,052 --> 00:38:26,637
‪所以我看了看價錢

667
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:30,182
‪竟然要525美元

668
00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:32,935
‪那玩意兒才這麼點大

669
00:38:33,436 --> 00:38:36,397
‪我告訴自己:
‪“莫妮卡,不要因為價錢吃驚

670
00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:38,649
‪妳可是熱門電視影集的明星

671
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:43,154
‪妳買得起525美元的水晶飾品”

672
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:45,906
‪所以我到了收銀台

673
00:38:47,908 --> 00:38:49,535
‪那個白人女士只顧著打收銀機

674
00:38:49,535 --> 00:38:52,955
‪從頭到尾沒跟我有眼神接觸

675
00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:56,917
‪她就打收銀機說:“5025美元”

676
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:00,504
‪我說:“抱歉,妳說什麼?”

677
00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:04,508
‪她重複一次

678
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:07,470
‪聽起來就像是
‪“我就知道你們黑人買不起”

679
00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:11,682
‪她說:“5千...又25美元”

680
00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:15,603
‪我得要讓這個女人知道我不是...
‪那個女的叫什麼來著的?

681
00:39:15,603 --> 00:39:17,521
‪《異世界》裡的惠特莉吉伯特

682
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:19,982
‪她得要向白女人證明自己買得起

683
00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,859
‪老娘不買了,免了,多謝

684
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:25,237
‪祝妳擁有美好的一天
‪把那個爛東西放回去

685
00:39:26,238 --> 00:39:28,032
‪我開車回家

686
00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:30,034
‪抽著大麻菸

687
00:39:31,077 --> 00:39:33,120
‪說到我抽的大麻呢

688
00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,998
‪會讓人性慾高漲

689
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:38,084
‪先聽我說完

690
00:39:39,293 --> 00:39:41,087
‪你們一副糟糕了的反應

691
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,799
‪那會讓人很想要

692
00:39:46,008 --> 00:39:47,426
‪但有程度之分

693
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:51,305
‪不是抽了一口馬上就想要
‪而是會慢慢爬升

694
00:39:51,305 --> 00:39:53,140
‪所以我算好時間

695
00:39:54,308 --> 00:39:55,434
‪抽了大麻

696
00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:59,021
‪因為我知道我要回家了

697
00:39:59,605 --> 00:40:00,648
‪對吧?

698
00:40:01,148 --> 00:40:02,775
‪等我到家

699
00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:08,239
‪就會是性致最高漲的時候

700
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:11,158
‪所以我到家,現在大概是七分

701
00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:15,162
‪對吧?還沒到“快來上我”的頂點

702
00:40:15,162 --> 00:40:18,499
‪而是“唉唷,很想來一發”的感覺
‪懂我意思嗎?

703
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,959
‪是這情況,對吧?

704
00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:22,962
‪所以那天晚上我到家
‪大概是七分的狀態

705
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:27,341
‪我首先就是上樓問候我先生

706
00:40:27,341 --> 00:40:29,969
‪我最先做的事

707
00:40:29,969 --> 00:40:32,680
‪就是走上樓

708
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,058
‪問候我的先生

709
00:40:36,058 --> 00:40:38,727
‪其他人乖乖照著排隊

710
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:42,565
‪我的外婆很久以前就跟我說過
‪“回家的時候

711
00:40:42,565 --> 00:40:45,234
‪第一件事就是要去看妳的先生

712
00:40:45,234 --> 00:40:48,487
‪他回家的時候
‪第一個看到的人應該要是妳”

713
00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:51,490
‪所以我遵照這個規矩,我上樓

714
00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:52,992
‪問候我的先生

715
00:40:53,492 --> 00:40:55,953
‪然後我再去看我的孩子

716
00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:58,622
‪再來是下樓看我的家僕

717
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:01,000
‪老鄉,你們沒聽錯,就是家僕

718
00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:13,345
‪然後我重新上樓,再跟孩子玩一下

719
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:16,015
‪然後再下樓、再上樓

720
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:17,391
‪跟老公再聊ㄧ下

721
00:41:17,391 --> 00:41:19,768
‪接著下樓、再上樓

722
00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:21,270
‪然後呢,有了

723
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,273
‪大概過了20分鐘,這下子是十分了

724
00:41:24,273 --> 00:41:26,192
‪我來到想要的最高點

725
00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:30,571
‪現在要來幹正事了

726
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:33,449
‪這個好女孩說話兼唱歌

727
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,910
‪那隻貓在喵喵叫

728
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,786
‪口中說著...

729
00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:53,636
‪所以我進臥房,關上房門,寶貝

730
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:56,472
‪擺出最性感的姿勢

731
00:41:57,097 --> 00:41:58,891
‪屁股要翹得恰到好處

732
00:41:59,391 --> 00:42:00,392
‪對吧?

733
00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:02,686
‪嘴巴的開度也很講究

734
00:42:02,686 --> 00:42:06,607
‪不要大到能吸屌
‪但要讓他以為妳或許會吸屌

735
00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:22,831
‪然後得要深呼吸
‪稍微就好,不要太用力

736
00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,630
‪所以我先生看著我說:
‪“老婆,妳在幹嘛?”

737
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:38,264
‪我說:“我想要跟你來一發”

738
00:42:40,182 --> 00:42:42,685
‪我說:“我需要你過來這兒

739
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:45,938
‪幫我口交”

740
00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,694
‪那傢伙說:“不用了,謝謝”

741
00:42:56,448 --> 00:42:58,492
‪我心想:“這是錯誤的回答

742
00:42:58,492 --> 00:43:00,286
‪你不知道我才是老大嗎?

743
00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:04,498
‪你不知道這是我的房子、我的車
‪這些錢全是我的嗎?”

744
00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:06,083
‪我這樣對自己說:

745
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:08,460
‪“你是失心瘋了嗎?”

746
00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:10,337
‪所以我想說:“我再問一次

747
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:14,466
‪再給他一個改過自新的機會”

748
00:43:14,466 --> 00:43:16,260
‪所以我擺回了性感的姿勢說:

749
00:43:24,184 --> 00:43:25,728
‪“我需要你

750
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:28,272
‪過來這兒

751
00:43:28,897 --> 00:43:32,359
‪幫我口交”

752
00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:37,364
‪他說:“或許我沒把話說清楚”

753
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:41,285
‪我說不用了,謝謝妳”

754
00:43:41,827 --> 00:43:44,204
‪我說:“可惡,這下子我真的受傷了

755
00:43:44,204 --> 00:43:47,166
‪因為你兩次都答錯

756
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:50,044
‪所以我就直接問了
‪你到底有什麼問題?

757
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:53,130
‪我下樓又上樓中間發生了什麼事嗎?

758
00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:56,175
‪是有人打給你嗎?你有什麼毛病?”

759
00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:58,010
‪他說:“莫妮卡,我沒有毛病”

760
00:43:58,010 --> 00:44:00,471
‪我說:“我叫你過來幫我口交那時

761
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:03,891
‪你肯定有哪裡不對勁”

762
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:07,603
‪他說:“我完全沒有不對勁
‪但我們來討論一件事

763
00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:10,564
‪妳早上七點出門

764
00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:14,610
‪去片場一路待到大概下午五點

765
00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:17,029
‪接著又跑去比佛利中心

766
00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:18,781
‪然後回家

767
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:24,328
‪妳上樓下樓...

768
00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:26,372
‪這樣還要我幫妳口交?

769
00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:28,165
‪不用了,謝謝妳”

770
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:39,051
‪我說這是黑人的愛...

771
00:44:39,051 --> 00:44:43,013
‪“你應該要隨時都能幫我口交
‪不然算什麼男人啊”

772
00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:45,766
‪現在我很傷心
‪卻得帶著性致走出房間

773
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:48,143
‪他說:“莫妮卡,不然這樣吧

774
00:44:48,143 --> 00:44:49,186
‪當我沒說

775
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,438
‪妳過來吧”

776
00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:54,108
‪我這時心想:“這樣就對了

777
00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,152
‪你最好反省ㄧ下”

778
00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:58,946
‪男人喔

779
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:04,034
‪我到了他前面

780
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:06,078
‪我站在那兒

781
00:45:07,329 --> 00:45:09,331
‪陽剛到不行

782
00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:17,297
‪就像是我在家裡看到的女性形象

783
00:45:17,297 --> 00:45:19,383
‪要拿下主導權

784
00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:21,552
‪然後他用他的手

785
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,888
‪放到我的妹妹上面

786
00:45:25,472 --> 00:45:28,559
‪在那邊弄啊弄的

787
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:34,398
‪我說“好喔,繼續來”

788
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:37,693
‪後來他把手拿開,我知道

789
00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:42,740
‪這一定是他準備要幫我口交了

790
00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,116
‪但我不知道的是

791
00:45:44,116 --> 00:45:48,245
‪他把剛才用來幫我指交的手

792
00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:49,788
‪放到我的鼻子底下

793
00:45:49,788 --> 00:45:52,082
‪我說:“老鄉,你這是在搞啥鬼?

794
00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:57,588
‪你這是在搞啥鬼?
‪你想害我有創傷嗎?

795
00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,131
‪搞什麼鬼東西啊?”

796
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:02,134
‪他說:“那就是妳妹妹的味道”

797
00:46:07,222 --> 00:46:12,186
‪要死了,我真是萬念俱灰

798
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:13,228
‪各位懂我意思嗎?

799
00:46:13,228 --> 00:46:15,606
‪因為在那當下我能說什麼?

800
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:18,484
‪我完全無法回嘴

801
00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:20,903
‪如果他是說上週妳的陰道很臭
‪妳還可以說

802
00:46:20,903 --> 00:46:22,738
‪“去死啦,都上週的事了”

803
00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:24,782
‪但這是剛剛才發生的

804
00:46:26,074 --> 00:46:28,243
‪我脫下了披風

805
00:46:28,243 --> 00:46:30,954
‪我得要讓披風退休

806
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:33,457
‪是這樣的,我得要去瞭解的是

807
00:46:33,999 --> 00:46:38,337
‪我小時候沒人跟我談過衛生問題

808
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:41,632
‪我媽沒跟我說過衛生的事

809
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:43,091
‪好比“妳必須照顧自己

810
00:46:43,091 --> 00:46:46,595
‪等妳變成了大女孩
‪一天洗一次澡絕對不夠

811
00:46:46,595 --> 00:46:50,057
‪早上和晚上都得要洗一次

812
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:53,018
‪如果是八月天
‪早上洗一次、下午洗一次

813
00:46:53,018 --> 00:46:56,355
‪早午餐一次,晚上一次
‪深夜上床前再一次

814
00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:58,524
‪妳得要一洗再洗才行”

815
00:46:58,524 --> 00:47:00,943
‪從來沒人跟我說過那些事

816
00:47:03,195 --> 00:47:04,988
‪除了我的祖母之外

817
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,074
‪我爸爸的母親

818
00:47:07,574 --> 00:47:09,827
‪我的祖母咪咪是我的天

819
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:11,912
‪她才這麼高

820
00:47:11,912 --> 00:47:15,666
‪再矮個幾公分就是侏儒了

821
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:18,001
‪大概這麼高,膚色非常黑

822
00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:21,839
‪她的生活過得真的很吃力

823
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:25,175
‪但她會跟我說:
‪“莫妮卡,妳是我的心肝寶貝”

824
00:47:25,759 --> 00:47:28,053
‪你能想像有人跟你這樣說嗎?

825
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:30,347
‪“妳是我的心肝寶貝”

826
00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:33,976
‪所以我祖母跟我說的,我全都相信

827
00:47:34,476 --> 00:47:37,729
‪因為我知道她絕不會跟我說錯的事

828
00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:41,149
‪她要我坐下,教導我的每一件事

829
00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:42,901
‪我全都銘記在心

830
00:47:42,901 --> 00:47:46,238
‪我13歲那時,我永遠不會忘記這件事

831
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:50,033
‪我13歲那時
‪我的祖母把我叫進她的房間

832
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,326
‪他說:“妮基”

833
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:53,620
‪我說:“祖母“

834
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,581
‪她說:“坐下”

835
00:47:56,081 --> 00:47:57,624
‪我說:“遵命,祖母”

836
00:47:57,624 --> 00:47:58,876
‪她說:“妳聽好了

837
00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:02,754
‪千萬不要把老二放進嘴巴

838
00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,549
‪否則會爆炸”

839
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:06,633
‪我說:“恐怖喔

840
00:48:10,929 --> 00:48:14,558
‪我絕對不會把老二放進嘴巴
‪我才不要看到老二爆炸”

841
00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:15,893
‪她說:“很好

842
00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:18,186
‪千萬不要把老二放進嘴巴”

843
00:48:18,186 --> 00:48:21,815
‪那是我們最後一次說到吸屌

844
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:23,066
‪反正別吸屌就對了

845
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:26,528
‪所以從我13歲到22歲

846
00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:28,196
‪從來沒吸過屌

847
00:48:28,196 --> 00:48:31,617
‪而我22歲幫人吸屌唯一的原因是

848
00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:34,661
‪他很暖,他真的很好心

849
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:40,751
‪那個老鄉的心地實在是太暖了

850
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,170
‪我們白天去約會,那是週日

851
00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:44,254
‪很美好

852
00:48:44,254 --> 00:48:47,925
‪我們到了一個小公園
‪去港口散步之類的

853
00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:51,929
‪所以當他邀請我去他家
‪我當然很願意

854
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,473
‪我們到了他家,喝了紅酒等等的

855
00:48:54,473 --> 00:48:57,059
‪就這樣一直聊天,聊得很愉快

856
00:48:57,559 --> 00:48:59,937
‪然後他看著我說:“莫妮卡?”

857
00:49:00,437 --> 00:49:01,855
‪我說:“請說”

858
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:05,150
‪他說:“妳願意幫我吸屌嗎?”

859
00:49:14,701 --> 00:49:17,037
‪我說:“我當然願意幫你吸屌”

860
00:49:17,871 --> 00:49:22,209
‪這是不是很美好的一問一答?
‪有沒有看出其中的奧妙?

861
00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:28,507
‪然後我跟他說:“我要跟你說一件事

862
00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:32,177
‪我從來沒吸過屌”

863
00:49:32,678 --> 00:49:35,138
‪他說:“莫妮卡,不用擔心

864
00:49:36,014 --> 00:49:38,266
‪我會教妳怎麼吸我的屌”

865
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:41,645
‪我心想:“這也太大心了吧?

866
00:49:43,730 --> 00:49:47,609
‪他要教我怎麼吸他的屌
‪不只是隨便一根屌”

867
00:49:47,609 --> 00:49:50,278
‪那個老鄉說:
‪“我會教妳怎麼吸我的屌”

868
00:49:50,278 --> 00:49:53,198
‪我心想這真是太美好了

869
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:55,617
‪所以他說:“聽好了

870
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,621
‪當我把屌放進妳的嘴巴

871
00:50:00,914 --> 00:50:03,667
‪開始要像是蒸汽火車哪樣吸

872
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:07,629
‪就像是火車一開始離站那樣

873
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:09,881
‪開動的時候很慢

874
00:50:10,507 --> 00:50:12,134
‪所以妳慢慢吸

875
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:22,894
‪然後火車會加速,妳也要加速

876
00:50:28,608 --> 00:50:29,693
‪現在全速前進!”

877
00:50:31,486 --> 00:50:33,572
‪那個老鄉說...

878
00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:37,993
‪而我聽到我祖母的聲音:
‪“老二會在妳的嘴裡爆炸”

879
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:41,413
‪結果我往他的老二用力咬下去

880
00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:48,128
‪那個老鄉往我的太陽穴用力一敲

881
00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:50,922
‪我整個人從沙發掉下去

882
00:50:50,922 --> 00:50:54,009
‪我知道我自己大概昏了17秒

883
00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:57,054
‪等我恢復意識

884
00:50:57,846 --> 00:51:01,266
‪等我恢復意識
‪我看著他說:“你要去坐牢了

885
00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:05,645
‪你一定會去坐牢,因為你攻擊我

886
00:51:05,645 --> 00:51:09,232
‪你想要把我們炸死
‪把這整個街區炸掉

887
00:51:09,232 --> 00:51:11,318
‪我絕對不會讓你得逞!

888
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:13,737
‪我一定要拯救街坊鄰居!

889
00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:16,990
‪我要報警!

890
00:51:16,990 --> 00:51:19,743
‪這下子你坐牢坐定了

891
00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:22,746
‪我一定要讓你去坐牢!”

892
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:29,169
‪警察來的時候,我和他都還是裸體

893
00:51:30,378 --> 00:51:32,964
‪我們裸體站在他家裡

894
00:51:32,964 --> 00:51:34,382
‪我那時22歲

895
00:51:34,382 --> 00:51:36,384
‪才22歲,你會以為我的乳房很尖挺

896
00:51:36,384 --> 00:51:38,970
‪但我的乳房就跟54歲的人一樣

897
00:51:42,557 --> 00:51:45,977
‪我的乳房從來就不堅挺
‪就跟大猩猩的乳房一樣

898
00:51:45,977 --> 00:51:47,479
‪直直往下!

899
00:51:47,979 --> 00:51:49,773
‪所以我裸體站在那兒

900
00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:52,192
‪有兩個警察過來

901
00:51:52,192 --> 00:51:55,112
‪一黑一白

902
00:51:55,612 --> 00:51:58,740
‪他們到的時候,白人警察先開口

903
00:51:58,740 --> 00:52:01,827
‪我心想:“那是帶頭的
‪你肯定要去坐牢了

904
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:03,161
‪你肯定要去坐牢了”

905
00:52:03,161 --> 00:52:05,664
‪所以那個警察問說:
‪“女士,發生了什麼事?”

906
00:52:06,164 --> 00:52:10,794
‪我說:“警察先生,他打我的太陽穴

907
00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:13,588
‪我頭很暈

908
00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,299
‪我要他被抓起來

909
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,510
‪我要他去坐牢”

910
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:21,096
‪白人警察接著說:“先生

911
00:52:21,596 --> 00:52:23,890
‪麻煩轉身,雙手放在背後”

912
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:25,892
‪我說:“沒錯,你要去坐牢了”

913
00:52:25,892 --> 00:52:29,104
‪結果那個黑人警察參一腳

914
00:52:29,104 --> 00:52:33,316
‪黑人警察跟白人警察說:
‪“等等,別給他上銬”

915
00:52:33,316 --> 00:52:35,652
‪我心想:“這個老鄉才是老大”

916
00:52:37,779 --> 00:52:40,031
‪黑人警察沒有問我發生了什麼事

917
00:52:40,031 --> 00:52:42,659
‪他問那個男的發生了什麼事

918
00:52:42,659 --> 00:52:46,371
‪黑人警察說:
‪“先生,請說明發生了什麼事”

919
00:52:46,371 --> 00:52:47,914
‪他說:“謝謝你,兄弟”

920
00:52:47,914 --> 00:52:51,835
‪我說:“完了,他們在講暗語”

921
00:52:52,544 --> 00:52:56,047
‪他說:“警察先生
‪她本來在幫我吸屌”

922
00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,841
‪我心想完了

923
00:53:01,678 --> 00:53:04,472
‪這聽起來很糗,不是嗎?

924
00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:08,268
‪“老鄉,這很傷耶
‪你不用講得這麼直接嘛”

925
00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,353
‪因為後來那兩個警察看我的眼神

926
00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:13,190
‪活像我是街坊最後的妓女

927
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:18,570
‪那個黑人警察又問他:
‪“抱歉,您剛才說什麼?”

928
00:53:18,570 --> 00:53:20,655
‪他說:“我說她本來在幫我吸屌

929
00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:25,452
‪我想要教她怎麼吸我的屌

930
00:53:25,452 --> 00:53:27,871
‪就像是火車離站那樣子

931
00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:30,373
‪所以我跟她說
‪我把老二放進她嘴巴的時候

932
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:33,084
‪一開始就像火車離站那樣慢慢吸”

933
00:53:35,128 --> 00:53:39,758
‪結果我看到那個黑人警察
‪跟他一樣在學火車的氣笛聲

934
00:53:40,383 --> 00:53:44,554
‪我心想完了
‪他也有教過女生怎麼吸屌

935
00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:45,513
‪糟糕!

936
00:53:47,349 --> 00:53:49,976
‪所以他解釋完之後

937
00:53:49,976 --> 00:53:52,270
‪我看著那兩個警察說:

938
00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:54,773
‪“聽著,這傢伙是恐怖分子

939
00:53:54,773 --> 00:53:57,776
‪他是恐怖分子,他有帶炸彈

940
00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:59,402
‪你們一定要把他抓去關”

941
00:53:59,402 --> 00:54:00,779
‪現在事情可大條了

942
00:54:00,779 --> 00:54:04,032
‪他們問說:“女士,炸彈在哪裡?
‪爆裂物在哪裡?”

943
00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:05,700
‪我說:“在他的老二裡

944
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:07,786
‪他的老二全都是炸彈

945
00:54:07,786 --> 00:54:09,162
‪滿滿的都是炸彈

946
00:54:09,162 --> 00:54:12,165
‪他會把整個街區炸掉
‪我救了大家

947
00:54:12,165 --> 00:54:13,917
‪我是英雄

948
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:14,960
‪快抓住他”

949
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,464
‪結果黑人警察拿起對講機說

950
00:54:19,464 --> 00:54:21,341
‪我們有“EDP”

951
00:54:23,176 --> 00:54:27,806
‪我不知道EDP是什麼
‪所以我在心裡排列組合

952
00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:30,058
‪“EDP可能是指勃起障礙

953
00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:31,643
‪不是這樣的

954
00:54:31,643 --> 00:54:33,353
‪他的老二裡頭有炸彈

955
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:34,854
‪他會把我們都炸死”

956
00:54:34,854 --> 00:54:37,524
‪只見警察說著:“EDP,快點派員”

957
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:40,694
‪等到處理EDP的警察過來

958
00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:44,906
‪我才知道EDP是表示
‪“有情緒困擾的人”

959
00:54:44,906 --> 00:54:46,700
‪我心想那是誰啊?

960
00:54:48,159 --> 00:54:51,621
‪寶貝,當他們把束縛衣套在我身上

961
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:55,875
‪把我帶去精神病房

962
00:54:55,875 --> 00:54:57,836
‪我連內褲都沒穿

963
00:54:57,836 --> 00:55:00,088
‪只套著束縛衣,屁股晾在外頭

964
00:55:04,050 --> 00:55:09,097
‪他們關了我72小時做評估

965
00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:12,976
‪我隔壁的姐妹問我為什麼會來

966
00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:15,395
‪我說:“我救了整個街區

967
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,859
‪這傢伙的老二差點要爆炸
‪多虧我咬了下去”

968
00:55:20,859 --> 00:55:24,821
‪她說:“我也是因為這樣進來
‪我阿嬤跟我說了一樣的事”

969
00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:30,243
‪當我離開那兒

970
00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:32,120
‪我直接

971
00:55:32,620 --> 00:55:34,664
‪就去我祖母家

972
00:55:36,541 --> 00:55:37,876
‪我說:“咪咪

973
00:55:38,543 --> 00:55:39,711
‪妳跟我說

974
00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:44,132
‪如果放進嘴巴

975
00:55:44,632 --> 00:55:47,218
‪老二會爆炸”

976
00:55:47,844 --> 00:55:49,637
‪而我祖母聽了竊笑

977
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,643
‪她說:“妮基啊,有天妳會明白的”

978
00:55:56,144 --> 00:56:00,023
‪這時我的緹娜叔叔走過去說
‪“所以我才是同性戀”

979
00:56:08,490 --> 00:56:10,700
‪沒錯,各位,我就是這樣被帶大

980
00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:13,036
‪這就是我成長的環境,寶貝

981
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:16,748
‪我是這樣被帶大
‪我跟各位說過我的祖母...

982
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:19,250
‪很不可思議

983
00:56:20,043 --> 00:56:21,294
‪對吧?

984
00:56:21,294 --> 00:56:24,506
‪這個女人把我照顧得無微不至
‪彷彿等我起床了才能日出

985
00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:27,467
‪我去睡了才能日落

986
00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:30,387
‪如果我凌晨三點醒來說

987
00:56:30,387 --> 00:56:32,680
‪“咪咪,我餓了”

988
00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:37,060
‪祖母就會起床,幫我炸三根雞翅

989
00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:42,565
‪做馬鈴薯泥,老鄉
‪不是用現成的,是從頭開始煮

990
00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:45,527
‪四季豆加上兩片白麵包

991
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:48,113
‪所以我現在才這麼胖
‪她把我餵得很好

992
00:56:48,613 --> 00:56:51,574
‪然後她會把我帶回樓上
‪幫我蓋好被子

993
00:56:53,284 --> 00:56:55,703
‪然後就坐在那邊等到我睡著

994
00:56:56,454 --> 00:57:01,209
‪等我又醒來了
‪還是會看到她坐在那邊

995
00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:04,087
‪在她的眼中,我是她的一切

996
00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:07,298
‪而我的祖母有個女兒

997
00:57:08,341 --> 00:57:11,970
‪但我們都叫她女兒“緹娜叔叔”

998
00:57:14,180 --> 00:57:16,224
‪你們有些人跟我一樣是上特教班

999
00:57:16,224 --> 00:57:18,726
‪因為滿臉問號:“我在說什麼?”

1000
00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:23,690
‪我的緹娜叔叔,如果她現在走進來

1001
00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:25,942
‪你們會以為自己看到的是男人

1002
00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:27,944
‪她留著滿臉的鬍子

1003
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,822
‪她穿了東西壓住胸部

1004
00:57:30,822 --> 00:57:34,826
‪她在褲襠塞了東西,像是底下有一包

1005
00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:37,245
‪而她穿著男性的衣服和男鞋

1006
00:57:37,245 --> 00:57:40,748
‪我的緹娜叔叔怎麼看都是男人

1007
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:45,003
‪所以性多樣社群的各位

1008
00:57:45,003 --> 00:57:46,504
‪我要你們聽我說

1009
00:57:46,504 --> 00:57:51,843
‪我尊重在這裡的每一個人
‪可以自由做自己

1010
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,137
‪我尊重每一個人這樣說

1011
00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:56,639
‪“我懶得管你怎麼想或怎麼說

1012
00:57:56,639 --> 00:57:58,766
‪我要誠實做自己”

1013
00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:02,145
‪如果你遇到有人老愛酸言酸語

1014
00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:03,730
‪不知道在好奇什麼

1015
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:07,192
‪請大家了解
‪那些人是想要知道這是怎麼一回事

1016
00:58:07,192 --> 00:58:10,153
‪因為他們想衝第一體驗
‪所以各位別覺得生氣或是被冒犯

1017
00:58:10,153 --> 00:58:13,490
‪要知道他們只是想要當零號

1018
00:58:17,410 --> 00:58:20,121
‪是這樣的,我的祖母無法接受

1019
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:24,042
‪自己的女兒是同性戀

1020
00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:27,295
‪她只能在私下愛自己的女兒

1021
00:58:27,962 --> 00:58:30,256
‪沒有辦法公開愛她

1022
00:58:31,257 --> 00:58:33,885
‪因為教會把我的祖母弄壞了

1023
00:58:34,969 --> 00:58:37,847
‪寶貝,那該死的教會在我們的社群

1024
00:58:37,847 --> 00:58:41,267
‪會做一些鳥事,害得家庭破碎

1025
00:58:41,267 --> 00:58:43,686
‪活像是家庭已經退流行了

1026
00:58:43,686 --> 00:58:46,064
‪他們會用“以耶穌之名”當開頭

1027
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:49,150
‪而我眼看著我的好祖母被荼毒

1028
00:58:49,150 --> 00:58:53,071
‪她就是無法接受自己生了個女兒

1029
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:55,114
‪結果竟然是同性戀

1030
00:58:55,114 --> 00:58:57,784
‪我看著她們母女倆一起出去的時候

1031
00:58:58,284 --> 00:59:01,996
‪我祖母就連緹娜怎麼呼吸都看不慣

1032
00:59:01,996 --> 00:59:04,916
‪“妳幹嘛要那樣呼吸?”
‪我心想這是怎樣?

1033
00:59:04,916 --> 00:59:06,417
‪不然是要她憋氣嗎?

1034
00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:09,087
‪這樣就可以不是同性戀了嗎?

1035
00:59:15,051 --> 00:59:16,636
‪而我的緹娜叔叔...

1036
00:59:18,221 --> 00:59:21,558
‪在我小時候就老實跟我說

1037
00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:24,769
‪因為她知道我不會下價值判斷

1038
00:59:24,769 --> 00:59:26,854
‪我不知道怎麼去下價值判斷

1039
00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:30,441
‪我只知道人怎麼對我,我就怎麼對人

1040
00:59:30,441 --> 00:59:33,152
‪而我的緹娜叔叔對我非常好

1041
00:59:33,152 --> 00:59:35,238
‪對吧,那時我還小

1042
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:38,324
‪有次聖誕節,我七歲吧

1043
00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:42,453
‪大人都在餐廳裡,而我在廚房

1044
00:59:42,453 --> 00:59:45,081
‪其他的小朋友都在客廳玩玩具

1045
00:59:45,081 --> 00:59:46,833
‪我怎麼會是在廚房裡?

1046
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,919
‪好吧,因為我就是在廚房裡,對吧?

1047
00:59:49,919 --> 00:59:51,796
‪因為這裡有派餅、餅乾和蛋糕啊

1048
00:59:51,796 --> 00:59:53,381
‪我在廚房囉

1049
00:59:53,923 --> 00:59:54,799
‪對吧?

1050
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:59,095
‪所以緹娜叔叔進廚房說:“妮基?”

1051
00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:00,930
‪我說:“請說”

1052
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:03,391
‪她說:“我是同性戀”

1053
01:00:04,809 --> 01:00:06,144
‪我說:“我也是”

1054
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:13,901
‪因為聽她說起來感覺很美好
‪我自然就會這樣回答啊

1055
01:00:13,901 --> 01:00:16,654
‪接著她又說:“不對

1056
01:00:16,654 --> 01:00:18,573
‪我是女同志”

1057
01:00:21,826 --> 01:00:25,330
‪我說:“我也是,我是女同志”

1058
01:00:25,830 --> 01:00:29,250
‪然後她說:“妮基,我跟女人做愛”

1059
01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:31,544
‪我說:“好喔”

1060
01:00:37,133 --> 01:00:39,010
‪因為我沒辦法附和

1061
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:41,220
‪我不是那個走向

1062
01:00:53,816 --> 01:00:57,278
‪我看著這兩個女人互相拉扯

1063
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:03,910
‪我看著她們拉扯,到我祖母離開人世

1064
01:01:05,119 --> 01:01:08,581
‪她們都無法和解

1065
01:01:09,248 --> 01:01:11,626
‪因為我祖母認為自己很失敗

1066
01:01:12,877 --> 01:01:15,338
‪因為生了一個同性戀的孩子

1067
01:01:15,963 --> 01:01:21,386
‪教會洗腦讓她相信
‪自己的女兒是一種罪,對吧?

1068
01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:24,097
‪而她就是這樣對待她的女兒

1069
01:01:25,056 --> 01:01:27,392
‪可以想像我小時候很迷惑

1070
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,812
‪因為對咪咪祖母來說

1071
01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:32,772
‪我是她的一切

1072
01:01:33,648 --> 01:01:35,692
‪但是說到自己生下的孩子

1073
01:01:37,026 --> 01:01:39,362
‪卻無法好好抱著她

1074
01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:41,364
‪因為女兒是同性戀

1075
01:01:41,864 --> 01:01:44,117
‪而我看著她們母女拉扯

1076
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:46,619
‪我看著她們拉扯

1077
01:01:46,619 --> 01:01:51,624
‪當我的祖母離開人世
‪我的緹娜叔叔成了遊民酒鬼

1078
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,795
‪因為她實在無法明白

1079
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,922
‪為什麼她的母親

1080
01:01:57,922 --> 01:02:02,885
‪無法給她需要的愛,對吧?

1081
01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:05,430
‪而我覺得...

1082
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:10,601
‪我覺得自己很懦弱

1083
01:02:11,185 --> 01:02:13,104
‪看著我祖母過世

1084
01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:18,151
‪卻無法跟我祖母說

1085
01:02:19,777 --> 01:02:22,155
‪她的孫女其實是怎樣

1086
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:26,617
‪因為我不想要被偷偷地愛

1087
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:30,997
‪我很愛她那樣愛著我

1088
01:02:31,497 --> 01:02:34,500
‪當我和祖母去店裡
‪如果我登上了雜誌封面

1089
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:38,463
‪她一定會讓店裡的每個人都知道

1090
01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:40,631
‪我是她的孫女

1091
01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:43,384
‪我是她的心肝寶貝

1092
01:02:46,471 --> 01:02:48,639
‪所以我無法告訴我的祖母

1093
01:02:49,348 --> 01:02:51,058
‪我暗地裡的想法

1094
01:02:52,101 --> 01:02:53,978
‪還有我的遐想

1095
01:02:56,355 --> 01:02:58,566
‪因為我不要她...

1096
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:01,152
‪只能偷偷地私下愛我,我也...

1097
01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:05,531
‪不要她在離開人世時
‪覺得自己很失敗

1098
01:03:06,449 --> 01:03:08,201
‪因為如果我跟她說了

1099
01:03:10,119 --> 01:03:11,829
‪我暗地裡的想法

1100
01:03:15,875 --> 01:03:17,835
‪她離開人世時就會覺得

1101
01:03:18,669 --> 01:03:19,921
‪自己很失敗

1102
01:03:21,297 --> 01:03:25,176
‪我知道你們現在看著我心想
‪“慢著,婆娘

1103
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:30,640
‪妳他媽的是同性戀嗎?”

1104
01:03:31,808 --> 01:03:34,769
‪我不是...不完全是

1105
01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:46,948
‪我沒辦法跟祖母大聲說出來...

1106
01:03:46,948 --> 01:03:49,367
‪你們知道保密有多難嗎?

1107
01:03:51,536 --> 01:03:53,329
‪祕密導致癌症

1108
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,922
‪你們有些人有秘密
‪心想:“千萬不要看我

1109
01:04:02,922 --> 01:04:05,132
‪要是我現在張開嘴巴

1110
01:04:05,132 --> 01:04:07,218
‪祕密就會脫口而出”

1111
01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:11,931
‪但這是天生的

1112
01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:15,935
‪所以你也不能怎麼辦

1113
01:04:16,602 --> 01:04:17,687
‪完全沒辦法

1114
01:04:18,479 --> 01:04:20,648
‪請大家了解,我嘗試過

1115
01:04:21,148 --> 01:04:24,318
‪我試過用做愛來壓過去,寶貝
‪大家聽我說

1116
01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:26,904
‪我試過,以為做久了就會改變

1117
01:04:26,904 --> 01:04:29,407
‪因為我不想要被當成我有病

1118
01:04:29,407 --> 01:04:30,700
‪或是我有什麼問題

1119
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:34,537
‪所以我盡可能跟一堆男人上床

1120
01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:38,291
‪我不是真的浪蕩的那種浪蕩

1121
01:04:39,750 --> 01:04:41,836
‪我大概有三分之一...

1122
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:43,629
‪我有四分之一是蕩女體質

1123
01:04:43,629 --> 01:04:47,884
‪妮基帕克說:“嘿,奧格維教授”

1124
01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:51,095
‪天底下多得是這樣的人

1125
01:04:56,058 --> 01:04:58,853
‪但我把這件事保密,向自己承諾

1126
01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:00,771
‪永遠不會跟人說

1127
01:05:02,398 --> 01:05:04,358
‪我要把這個祕密帶進墳墓

1128
01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:08,821
‪因為我看到了我家人

1129
01:05:09,655 --> 01:05:12,450
‪被當成是有病的人對待

1130
01:05:12,950 --> 01:05:16,329
‪因為外界讓我們相信同性戀是一種病

1131
01:05:16,829 --> 01:05:17,997
‪對吧?

1132
01:05:18,956 --> 01:05:22,585
‪有天晚上,慾望來得很強烈

1133
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,296
‪我那時在床上睡覺

1134
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:28,841
‪那份性慾一直在拍我的肩膀

1135
01:05:28,841 --> 01:05:31,135
‪像是在說:“陰道...”

1136
01:05:36,891 --> 01:05:40,144
‪我躺在床上,害怕極了

1137
01:05:40,645 --> 01:05:42,480
‪這已經是我的第三任丈夫

1138
01:05:43,230 --> 01:05:44,273
‪對吧?

1139
01:05:45,274 --> 01:05:47,109
‪第三任了,寶貝

1140
01:05:47,860 --> 01:05:49,320
‪而他...

1141
01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:54,158
‪在我最落魄的時候愛著我

1142
01:05:54,659 --> 01:05:56,869
‪彷彿那是最好的我

1143
01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:59,288
‪而他,各位...

1144
01:06:02,249 --> 01:06:05,419
‪把我捧在手心上的感覺

1145
01:06:05,419 --> 01:06:07,964
‪地表上再沒有人這樣過

1146
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:09,423
‪這就是他

1147
01:06:09,423 --> 01:06:12,426
‪而有些黑人女性質疑:
‪“妳幹嘛叫他爹地?”

1148
01:06:12,426 --> 01:06:15,888
‪我來說原因,我就老實說了
‪“因為他像是在撫養我”

1149
01:06:15,888 --> 01:06:18,808
‪我來告訴各位原因
‪我用爹地稱呼我的先生

1150
01:06:18,808 --> 01:06:21,435
‪因為他做到了我父親

1151
01:06:21,435 --> 01:06:24,939
‪不知道要怎麼給我
‪或是懶得給我的一切

1152
01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:27,108
‪所以我才叫我先生“爹地”

1153
01:06:27,108 --> 01:06:30,736
‪有一個黑人男性
‪把妳所有的錯,都變成了對...

1154
01:06:31,737 --> 01:06:35,658
‪各位,那天晚上我躺在床上
‪害怕極了

1155
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,577
‪我真的害怕極了

1156
01:06:39,328 --> 01:06:42,581
‪因為我跟自己說:
‪“莫妮卡,他結婚不是為了這個

1157
01:06:43,791 --> 01:06:47,336
‪他是跟妳結婚
‪不是跟妳和另一個女人結婚”

1158
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:57,346
‪所以這下要怎麼辦?

1159
01:06:57,930 --> 01:07:01,392
‪在這個當下,身邊躺著的另一個人

1160
01:07:01,392 --> 01:07:04,562
‪比妳自己還更了解妳自己

1161
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,273
‪在妳小時候對妳的注意

1162
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:10,359
‪遠勝過妳對自己的注意

1163
01:07:10,359 --> 01:07:11,861
‪而我躺在那張床上

1164
01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:14,113
‪被那個祕密壓得喘不過氣來

1165
01:07:14,113 --> 01:07:17,992
‪讓我的身心靈都感覺想要吐

1166
01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:21,412
‪因為我覺得不能跟人說自己的性向

1167
01:07:21,412 --> 01:07:24,206
‪我得要叫醒睡夢中的他

1168
01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:26,876
‪我害怕極了,因為我說:
‪“等我跟你說了之後

1169
01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:28,377
‪拜託不要離開我

1170
01:07:29,420 --> 01:07:31,338
‪因為那樣我會無法呼吸

1171
01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:34,133
‪但我得要跟你說
‪寶貝,因為你很瞭解我

1172
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:35,926
‪我有心事時,你都會知道

1173
01:07:35,926 --> 01:07:38,846
‪而有件事已經卡在我心裡多年”

1174
01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:43,184
‪但因為我是名人、明星

1175
01:07:43,684 --> 01:07:45,144
‪我可以戴上面具去掩蓋

1176
01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:47,480
‪我可以用光鮮亮麗去掩蓋

1177
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,649
‪但那天晚上,面具得要脫下來

1178
01:07:52,568 --> 01:07:54,403
‪我得要叫醒他

1179
01:07:56,155 --> 01:07:58,699
‪我說:“爹地,我有事得要告訴你”

1180
01:07:59,825 --> 01:08:01,911
‪他說:“老婆,怎麼了?”

1181
01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:04,663
‪我說:“我有個祕密

1182
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:11,504
‪你要保證我跟你說了
‪你不會離開我”

1183
01:08:13,047 --> 01:08:16,008
‪他說:“莫妮卡,不管妳說什麼

1184
01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:19,136
‪都不會讓我離開妳”

1185
01:08:21,138 --> 01:08:22,473
‪我說:“好吧

1186
01:08:23,307 --> 01:08:24,767
‪來囉”

1187
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:26,352
‪我說:“爹地...”

1188
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:28,104
‪他說:“等等...

1189
01:08:31,482 --> 01:08:33,734
‪妳是不是殺人了?”

1190
01:08:35,486 --> 01:08:38,781
‪我說:“不是,我才沒有殺人”

1191
01:08:39,281 --> 01:08:40,991
‪他說:“那就好,繼續”

1192
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,372
‪我說:“爹地...”

1193
01:08:47,289 --> 01:08:49,917
‪我心跳狂飆,因為這是我第一次

1194
01:08:49,917 --> 01:08:53,671
‪準備要對人大聲說出來

1195
01:08:57,883 --> 01:08:59,301
‪我說:“爹地...

1196
01:09:00,594 --> 01:09:04,348
‪我想要跟另一個女人做愛”

1197
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,060
‪而他看著我

1198
01:09:08,686 --> 01:09:12,481
‪美好、耐心又深情

1199
01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,277
‪然後他說:“我也是耶!”

1200
01:09:18,612 --> 01:09:22,366
‪他說:“妳去找來那個女人
‪我們一起跟她做愛

1201
01:09:22,867 --> 01:09:26,579
‪妳這些年都在心煩這件事嗎?”

1202
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:29,331
‪他說:“跟女人做愛太棒了”

1203
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:34,003
‪我說:“真的是這樣”
‪他說:“妳快去跟女人做做看”

1204
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:43,429
‪然後我告訴自己
‪“我必須把這個當成遐想

1205
01:09:45,222 --> 01:09:47,766
‪必須這樣做,因為我很瞭解自己

1206
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:51,395
‪否則跨性別社群會談論我

1207
01:09:51,395 --> 01:09:54,440
‪他們會說那個女人爭取平權

1208
01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:56,817
‪但卻不願意這樣對人”

1209
01:09:59,820 --> 01:10:02,156
‪因為等妳幫我口交之後
‪我就先告退了

1210
01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:08,746
‪“要喝點咖啡什麼的嗎?”

1211
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,834
‪敬謝不敏...女士

1212
01:10:14,627 --> 01:10:17,338
‪妳別把陰道靠過來

1213
01:10:18,964 --> 01:10:22,551
‪“莫妮卡,我都幫妳口交了
‪臭女人,謝謝妳喔

1214
01:10:23,135 --> 01:10:25,179
‪妳人真好

1215
01:10:26,180 --> 01:10:28,182
‪妳真聰明

1216
01:10:28,724 --> 01:10:31,769
‪妳真重要”

1217
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,189
‪有人問我

1218
01:10:36,649 --> 01:10:38,192
‪“妳是怎麼做到

1219
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:40,819
‪能夠繼續往前邁進?

1220
01:10:41,862 --> 01:10:44,240
‪妳是怎麼做到

1221
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,075
‪能夠繼續往前邁進?”

1222
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:50,704
‪因為當妳從小就是胖胖的黑人女孩

1223
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:54,375
‪一心就只想要別人的認可和接受

1224
01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:56,627
‪妳滿腦子就是要這個

1225
01:10:56,627 --> 01:11:00,381
‪妳只求別人能夠接受妳

1226
01:11:00,381 --> 01:11:04,218
‪為了被接受,要妳怎麼做都可以

1227
01:11:04,218 --> 01:11:06,804
‪妳拼了命就是要被別人接受

1228
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:09,139
‪而當年紀漸長,我說:“其實呢

1229
01:11:09,139 --> 01:11:13,686
‪妳只管去接受現狀就行了”

1230
01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:15,688
‪所以我得要去接受

1231
01:11:16,313 --> 01:11:19,984
‪我爸爸是個酒鬼

1232
01:11:19,984 --> 01:11:22,194
‪完全不管家人的死活

1233
01:11:22,194 --> 01:11:24,280
‪我得要去接受

1234
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:27,283
‪我媽媽是個賭鬼

1235
01:11:27,283 --> 01:11:29,827
‪會把任何東西都拿去賭掉

1236
01:11:29,827 --> 01:11:31,787
‪我得要去接受

1237
01:11:31,787 --> 01:11:34,581
‪我的大哥是猥褻犯

1238
01:11:34,581 --> 01:11:37,501
‪我得要接受我另一個兄弟

1239
01:11:37,501 --> 01:11:41,213
‪冒名簽署文件,搞壞我的名聲

1240
01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:44,049
‪我沒在下價值判斷,陳述事實而已

1241
01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:48,679
‪所以這樣我就能夠去接受
‪別人亂講我的事

1242
01:11:48,679 --> 01:11:52,057
‪有人跟我說:“妳不是戴夫查普爾

1243
01:11:52,057 --> 01:11:54,268
‪妳不是艾米舒默

1244
01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:56,437
‪妳不是克里斯洛克”

1245
01:11:56,437 --> 01:11:58,605
‪那些人說得很對

1246
01:11:58,605 --> 01:12:01,775
‪因為我叫莫妮卡

1247
01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:16,957
{\an8}‪(我愛妳,莫妮卡)

1248
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:48,572
‪莫妮卡...

1249
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:48,377
‪字幕翻譯:姚祖恩