(calming music)
(pen scratching)
Downloaded from YTS.MX
(calming music)
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
(lively music)
(lively music continues)
(crowd chattering)
(crowd booing)
(crowd booing fades)
- Jarvis, you're still here.
You okay?
- That one really hurt, coach.
Yeah, that was uh, that was a heartbreaker.
- Yeah.
You threw two interceptions
the last five minutes of the game.
You blew a 10 point lead.
I would definitely categorize that as a heartbreaker.
- Knocked us out the playoffs.
Season gone 'cause of two stupid throws.
- Well, this is all the facts.
I wouldn't say stupid.
I would border more on idiotic, moronic,
but if it helps you get over it any faster,
I'll, I'll go with it.
- I promise you, coach.
Next year, it'll be better.
Never again.
- If you think you're coming back next year
then I got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.
Merry Christmas.
(tense music)
(traffic humming)
- So, Elias Brown,
you've been able to amass
an impressive amount of catches this season.
And what's even more impressive
is the amount of yards after the catch.
- Hey, they can't guard me, they can't tackle me.
I'm just a beast.
- Hmm. - In every way.
- Right.
So what is it that, what's your motivation?
What drives you?
- You know, I just wanna,
wanna see my future wife, or uh, future baby mama,
see me excel on the field, you know?
And then maybe uh, after that,
she might want to excel with me in the bedroom and beyond.
What you think?
- Well, you heard it here, from the bed and beyond.
So now it's time for us to pay some bills
so we're gonna take a commercial break.
- [Director] Cut.
- Excuse me.
- Hey, where are you going, beautiful?
- Uh, you know, all of a sudden I'm feeling a little slimy.
So I'm just gonna go wash that off.
But I'll be right back so we can finish this.
- Oh, come on.
Elias Brown didn't just do this interview
so he can get this close to you.
Come on.
- Oh, okay.
Talking about yourself in a third person?
Checks all the creep boxes.
If you'll excuse me, I'll just-
- Hey, hey, hey.
Look, I just signed for 44, all right?
M's, that is. (chuckles)
Hey, let me take you out to Saint Tropee on my yacht.
- Oh, Saint-Tropez.
- Say what?
- Yeah, okay, so let's not,
but I'm sure with all those 44 M's,
you're gonna catch a lot of flies.
So you'll be fine.
- You think you all that, huh?
- What?
- Can't even walk in those heels.
Elias Brown ain't got time for this.
You still got it.
(smooth music) (camera clicking)
- Is it true your supermodel girlfriend dumped you via text?
- Oh, man, oh.
- Is she dating the kicker?
- Hey, hey, hey, Jarvis, what are you gonna do next?
Hey, Jarvis, what do you do next?
- Come on, Jarvis!
- Rumor has it the team's gonna release you next week.
- [Photographer] Jarvis, oh yeah, uh-huh.
- That's gonna sell. - Real nice, real nice.
- That's good.
(engine revving)
(smooth music)
(phone ringing)
- Ma.
- Hey, son.
- So I guess she heard?
- Jarvis,
did you have to throw the ball straight to the other team?
I mean, didn't you get that explicit LASIK stuff?
Uh-huh, see, I knew I shouldn't believe them commercials.
- Come on, Ma, give me a break.
I've already heard enough from my coach.
- And then I invited the whole family over here
to watch ya make a fool of yourself.
- I done let my team down,
let my fans down, let myself down.
- And worst of all, you had that skinny,
that, that supermodel go down on your best friend,
the kicker.
Come on now.
She could've at least started with the offensive line.
Those boys got girth.
- Ma, can you please stop sticking the knife in deeper?
- Now, son,
even though you were an epic
and magnificent disappointment to your team and the family,
being an NFL football quarterback
and playing in the biggest game of your life,
we still love you and want you to come home for Christmas.
- Ah, that's great.
That's in a few days, isn't it?
- Yeah and your daddy's gonna try that fry turkey again.
Only this time we got the proper insurance.
- All right, all right, Ma, look, I'll do my best.
- You'll do your best?
Come on now, you, I don't know how many more Christmas days,
your poor mama got left.
And I invited Cece this year.
She wants to see you.
- Ma, stop, please.
What have I told you about that?
Don't try to be the matchmaker, all right?
We were together in high school.
Plus she doesn't want me anymore.
- Hm, after what you showed us on that field out there,
you ought to be grateful that she even took my call.
Son, you need a good wholesome woman.
Not a skinny little old supermodel.
- Listen, please do not invite her.
Besides, I already got a date.
- Who?
Who? - Who cares?
I mean, it's, it's a surprise.
It's a surprise, Ma.
- Well, let's just see who this surprise is, son.
And she better be dressed appropriate
because Reverend Dawson may be stopping by
and he don't need to see no tramp stamping.
His eyes be wandering enough as it is.
- Oh, Ma, Ma, Ma, I can't hear you.
There's something going on.
Are you in a bad area?
Ma, I'm call you back.
I love you, all right?
- Boy don't even know how to lie right.
(whimsical music)
- So, tell me about yourself.
- And then I tried being vegan for like three weeks,
and then I realized I was actually pescatarian at heart.
So I switched back to being vegan for like two more weeks
to make sure that I could handle it.
Wait, is this vegan?
Is this drink vegan or?
- Would you like to open us up in prayer?
- Y'all know what time it is, okay?
Finding the vibes, looking for the guys, okay?
Bad girls all year, okay?
Hashtagging, okay?
Make sure y'all follow me on YouTube, Instagram, okay?
I am so Sunny.
- Look, I ain't got time for no BS.
I'm already at executive level,
so you either meet me or beat me, okay?
- You wanna know about my last three TikTok posts?
They was a little, you know,
I was givin' a little thirst vibe,
but sometimes you gotta give the thirst to get the thirst.
- I lead the youth group on Wednesdays,
and then Fridays is the Bible study.
We need a new deacon.
You should join.
- Usually when I meet somebody for the first time,
I'm just like, you know, like,
I need to know that you're gonna call me back, right?
- How many followers do you got?
- My clock is ticking and I ain't got time for no BS.
So you gotta come correct or don't come at all.
- Just, if you're not feeling it,
you can just let me know now, you know?
I think that would be cool.
- The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not be in want.
- Are you giving out handbags for Christmas?
Because, you know, I need a couple.
And some shoes to go with it if that's cool.
(light dramatic music)
- Leticia.
- Hey. - Good morning.
Now, look,
I've managed to keep you on here on the roster
for over a year,
but you haven't produced what the headhunters advertised.
I need a big story, now.
- Look, I'm just,
I'm not okay with all the lies
and the following the rumor stuff.
Like, I'm just not comfortable with that.
- Half of this crap's made up.
Nobody cares, they just want to be entertained.
They just want their beliefs reinforced.
They just wanna see a celebrity that's not so special
so they don't feel so bad about their own crappy lives.
- Okay, look, I'm, I got some really big leads.
I'm onto something.
I, I just need some more time.
- All right, look, I'm gonna give you two weeks.
Just after Christmas,
and then I'm gonna be expecting a big story.
- Okay. - Okay?
Preferably a celebrity secret.
If not, it's gonna be no secret that you're fired.
- Look, I worked really hard to get this job.
- So work hard to keep it, sweetie.
Merry Christmas.
♪ Christmas time ♪
(singer singing in foreign language)
♪ I wanna say goodnight, sweet dreams ♪
(singer singing in foreign language)
- My salvation.
- Oh my goodness.
Look who can grow kale.
Okay.
Huh, there we go.
(phone ringing)
Mm-hm, okay.
Hey Momma Dee, how you doing today?
- Oh, much better now that I'm speaking with an angel.
- Mm, I know a few people
that would argue that sentiment with you.
- (laughs) Well, I'm calling to say thank you
for the fruit basket.
That was a nice gesture.
- Yeah.
Anything to make you feel better.
I know it's the anniversary, and...
- Well, child, let's not dwell on sad things today.
It's a good day and I'm feeling blessed.
- Me too, Momma Dee, me too,
because my kale actually came in and it's amazing.
- Great, great.
But you keep all that healthy eating
over there where you are.
We eating over here to die early.
Lots of grease and fat and sugar.
Might be bad for your health, but good for soul.
- I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you eating healthy, okay?
Healthy eating, healthy life, Momma Dee.
- (laughs) Over my dead, diabetic body.
- Okay, we'll see, we'll see.
- I was calling to see if you were still planning
on coming over for Christmas.
- Yes, of course.
As long as Jarvis ain't coming.
- What, what?
No, no, no.
He, he's not gonna be here.
He's playing that day.
- Momma Dee, the entire world knows
that Jarvis threw interceptions and got benched
and is not playing anything but spades in his backyard
on Christmas Day.
- Well, okay, he's not coming.
But, but you, you know how he is.
- Yes, I do.
That's why he and I didn't work out.
But you know what?
I got a whole new family out of it.
- Does that mean you're coming?
- Can I bring my kale?
- Of course you can.
We'll use it as garnish for the potato salad.
- Oh my God.
You would do that, too.
Yes, yes, I will be there.
- 4:00 PM sharp.
- Yes, ma'am, bye.
- Bye, baby.
- I won't let her garnish you.
- (chuckles) Momma Dee, you are a mastermind.
Yes, you are.
(whimsical music)
My salvation.
(sirens wailing)
(smooth music)
- It's been a long day.
I'm gonna need a double Jameson.
- Another double.
♪ I'm still the same that I was yesterday ♪
♪ And I made a promise to myself ♪
♪ Make a change and better myself ♪
Thank you.
I'm not signing any autographs.
- Excuse me?
- Don't ask me for an autograph.
Not signing anything.
I'm just relaxing.
I saw it on your face.
You was about to ask me.
- What are you, like a rapper or something?
- That was a good one.
♪ Change ♪
♪ What I want is change ♪
♪ Darling leave it to me ♪
(smooth music)
- Hey girl. - Hey.
- I'm sorry I'm late. - No, no worries.
- Ah, you look cute.
- Thank you.
Got the girls out.
- You better.
Girl, I had to send those feet picks out.
You know how I do.
I gotta make sure that cash app stay buzzing, okay?
- You are such a foot whore.
- I know, it's so bad. - It's terrible.
(both laughing)
- Um, excuse me.
Two grandmas on rocks, please.
Yeah, that'll be good.
So girl, finish telling me about your boss.
He's trying to fire you?
What's up with that?
- Girl, he trying to put me in the free food line.
And you know, they don't have a lot of vegetarian options,
so that'll never work.
- Well, girl, shoot.
You better be a sugar eating whore.
I'll be eating cakes and cookies and all types of things,
'cause you know, sugar is vegan.
Just in case you didn't know.
- Girl, you crazy.
No, but seriously, like, I need something bad.
Like I need a story.
I need something juicy.
- Listen, you know you can always take pictures of your feet
like I do and collect those coins.
(friend laughs)
What?
I'm serious, you should give it a try.
But you know what?
I just ran into Jarvis Porter
stumble into the bathroom, girl.
He looks sloppy drunk.
I say we take some footage of him
acting all drunk and whatnot
and do a story about him being an alcoholic, for you.
- Who's Jarvis Porter?
- Jarvis Porter, girl.
Two time Super Bowl champion.
I know my sports.
You gotta keep up, honey.
I think it would be good.
Think about it.
Listen, he's washed up now,
but he's about to retire so it might be worth it.
- Oh girl, maybe I can get his retirement story.
That would, that would save my job.
- Come on, come on.
Mm, and I'm sure he's held onto some of his millions.
Ooh girl.
You know I'm looking for a Poppa, right?
Could you put in a word for me, please?
- Girl, did you see where he went?
- Girl, he is right over there in the corner
with the shades on, okay?
Gold chain.
- Oh no. - Mm-hm.
(Momma Dee humming)
(Momma Dee chuckling)
(whimsical music)
- You sure that we can do this
without your wife finding out?
- She better not find out for both our sakes.
- What do you mean?
We, we have some unfinished business.
- I know what we got, okay, but not here.
- Listen, you know that I am only here for the bag, right?
- [Poppa] Yeah, I know.
- So the rest of this is gonna be on you.
- I got it, okay?
I got it. - Call me back.
- All right, okay. - Okay, bye.
- That fool done lost his mind.
- Mm!
Put a coat on.
- I'm a kill him.
Sure is my name, I'm gonna kill him.
- Ah.
You're back.
Oh, I know what it is.
You want me to buy you a drink?
♪ I'm a buy you a drink ♪
Here you go.
This for you.
$100, that's right there.
That's yours, please leave.
Why you sitting down?
Go ahead, can you leave me alone please?
- $100. - It's been a rough day.
Yes. - $100 on the table.
I'm gonna sit.
- Listen, um, so, you know, the stuff I said to you earlier,
I was just hoping that maybe we can just kind of like
let bygones be bygones and just put it past us.
- Yes, yes.
Let bygones be bygones.
Just, just forget all about it.
That's just not important.
You know, we all have sinned.
- Yes, yes. - Right, right?
Listen, you threw an interception
during the most important game of your career.
She called you a loser.
But it's not about that, that's not important.
What's important is how you intercept the pitfalls
and interceptions of the light.
Right? - Exactly, exactly.
- Oh.
Oh, y'all some, y'all some type of comedy act, right?
- What? - No, no, no.
I'm a journalist for The Gauntlet.
- Oh, oh.
No, no, no, no.
You stay away from me, all right?
You not about to catch me slipping.
That's a tabloid paper.
- No, no, no, listen.
We're, we're trying to make a turn.
Like we're, we're focusing more stories on the positive.
- Yes. - Like we're,
we're also focusing more on redemption stories.
- Redemption stories.
Redemption, exactly.
That's what it's all about and you know what?
I see a touchdown in your future, baby.
- Redemption, huh? - Yes, yes.
- Yeah and, and if you just let me interview you,
then I swear I can turn all the recent events
into a positive.
- Yes, let her.
- [Leticia] Let me.
- I'm telling you.
Now let me tell you something else.
My feet picked are to die for.
(Jarvis chuckles)
- Yeah, y'all chicks crazy.
I'm about to be outta here.
Plus I'm a leg and butt man.
I'm not into all that weirdo stuff, all right?
- Okay, okay. - Thank you.
- Okay, well, uh, well,
let me give you my card and um,
maybe you just might change your mind.
- I doubt it.
- I make a mean T-bone steak.
♪ I couldn't see ♪
- Girl, that didn't go well.
- Well, at least you got $100 out the deal.
Oh, well, I ain't too proud.
- Actually, I'm about to get fired.
- Ooh.
(Poppa snoring) (tense music)
(phone ringing)
- Ma, what you doing up at this time?
- Well, you know, sometimes I wake up to study the word.
The silence makes me reflect a little bit more
on the blessings.
Won't he do it, son?
- Ah, so what pops do now?
- Oh, nothing, just being his old regular self.
You know, you know, your father's a very special man.
And soon and very soon I would be doing a special thing.
- Well it's good to see you guys are getting along.
You know, sometimes growing up,
I ain't know if I was gonna end up
on one of those crime story specials or something.
- Crime, us?
Oh, no one will ever know.
I, I mean, uh,
no one will ever know what a true love we have.
- That's good, Ma.
- Oh, speaking of love,
I can't wait for you and Cecee
to get back together at Christmas time.
I mean, look at that fact
that you gonna be kicked off the team
that you got plenty of time now for,
you know, to invest in a relationship.
- Ma, what, what'd I tell you?
Please stop trying to be the matchmaker.
Besides, I'm um, I'm, I'm, I'm bringing somebody.
- Oh, are you now?
- Yeah, um,
she's, she's actually a beautiful woman and um,
um, tall and a professional.
- Okay, all right.
Professional lady, tall, pretty.
What does this professional lady do?
- She's a reporter.
- Oh, oh, oh, she a TV reporter?
- Yeah, a reporter.
- Is she one of those TV reporters
that report with all them bombs
and things blowing up behind her?
Because I need me some grand babies by you.
- Ma, relax.
No, she's not that type.
- Oh, well good, then I'll be happy to meet her.
We'll set up the guest room for her.
I'm so excited.
- [Jarvis] Yeah, me too.
But look, you gonna get you some rest.
- All right, son.
And in the meantime, if I ever need to be bailed out,
there's $20,000 and a safe under the shed.
- Ma? (phone beeping)
- Well, my toe appreciation team came through again,
and now I'm the proud owner of a new pair of Christians.
Ah ah ah!
- Girl, you are degrading yourself
for non appreciating assets.
Great job.
Ugh. - What?
- Generational wealth is destroying itself as we speak.
- Girl, the only generation I'm concerned with
is this one, okay?
Me.
Thank you. - Girl,
my life is over and you don't even care.
I just blew my only shot.
Now I'm gonna have to go get a job at Sprouts or,
or I don't know, like USP or something.
- Ooh, girl, you know what?
One of my home girls works at UPS and her legs.
- No, I'm not- - To die for.
Like, bomb, tight.
Okay, she's going upstairs in the heat all day long, honey,
she looks good.
It's a blessing in disguise.
You never know, Leticia.
You might wanna, you know, think about it.
- No. (phone buzzing)
- Ooh, ooh wait, hold on.
Yes!
Girl, Mr. Cheek Lover 22 is hitting me up.
I'm gonna have to go.
I love you though.
- You're so not a good friend.
- Oh, I love you.
- My life is ending and you don't really even care.
- Oh I care.
I care somewhat, but baby, I gotta go get this money.
- I should have had different feet.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
- Hey, what's going on?
It's Jarvis.
Listen, I decided to discuss your offer.
- You're gonna let me do the story?
- Eh, I said discuss.
- Okay, okay.
That's a start, that's a start.
- Meet me at Sleak Gym in about an hour.
Bring some workout clothes and I'll do most of the talking.
- Yes, oh, okay.
And, and you can do most of the exercising.
Bye.
(smooth music)
- Oh, I'm gonna get nice and oiled up for you, baby.
Of course, of course.
Oh, you like it like that?
I know.
Uh. (phone ringing)
Baby, it's my bestie.
It might be an emergency.
Listen, I will give you an additional 15 minutes
plus I will throw in that little bonus thing you like
on the house, okay?
Okay.
Bitch, you are calling me on company time.
You better be in the back of an ambulance.
- Girl,
I'm calling because I'm having a heart attack right now.
He called me.
- Who, Michael B. Jordan?
- Jarvis.
He says he's gonna let me do the story.
- Well, okay, so go.
Why are you calling me?
- That's the point.
Like I, I'm having second thoughts.
Like I don't, I don't know if I wanna do it.
- Oh, hold on one second.
You precious stud monster, I will be right back.
Just, just hold up.
- Well, I mean, what if he's pulling my leg or,
I don't know, what if he wants me to just go to there
and just massage his washed up ego or something?
I don't know, like.
What if he's crazy like those people that pay you online?
- [Client] Hey.
- You just lost me $85.
You better make it up to me on my Amazon cart.
I am not playing.
- It, it's just that I really need this to go well, so bad.
Like I'm so in need of a break.
I don't wanna get my hopes up and, and then like,
you know, this isn't what it's supposed.
Maybe I should just accept defeat
and start looking at those applications.
- You're right.
It could very well be all some BS.
But at the end of the day, what do you got to lose?
It's just an hour of your time, Leticia.
And what if it's not some BS?
- Yeah, you've always been the wise one for the most part.
I mean, you know,
you didn't jump on your ex's windshield
in the middle of Times Square
when he wouldn't take you back.
- Girl, that man wore a size 14 shoe.
So you do the math.
Shoot, I was prepared to slide across that windshield
like Tom Cruise if he decided to hit the gas, okay?
Woo, a woman has needs.
- Okay, I'll go.
(upbeat holiday music)
(weights clanking)
- Hey. - Ooh.
Not bad.
Your fashion sense at the bar was not flattering.
You got a decent pair of legs on you.
- Yeah, well I uh, I ran a semester of track in high school.
So, that's what you got.
- All right, track star, ready to get a set in?
- Yeah. - Come on.
- All right.
Here, let's see what you got.
Come on, pull, pull, pull.
You got it.
Pull, pull!
Ah, what?
Nah, rack it up.
You got a, you got a big old vein popping out your forehead.
- [Leticia] This is lightweight.
I got this, I got you.
- Nah, you're gonna get a stroke.
Put it down, put it down. - Okay, okay.
- Now, oh yeah, go ahead.
Switch it back up.
- Okay. - It's okay, it's okay.
It's all right.
Okay.
- You know, that's what happens, like the blood rushes.
- Right, right.
- For sure. - But you,
you look like you might have needed a breather, so.
- Well, I mean,
I haven't been in one of these
since before the pandemic, so.
- Yeah, life goes on, huh?
- Yeah, I hope so.
- So, what's up?
- So um, I was thinking, um,
oh, I, uh, I, I was wondering if you would,
you would give me your retirement story.
- How did you know I was retiring?
I haven't even told my mama yet.
- Well, I mean, you know,
it was like a little itsy bitsy educated guess, I think.
- Well, listen, I can't be mad at you.
You're right.
I think it is about that time,
especially after my last game.
I know the team's gonna drop me next year.
It's just, I just,
didn't see that safety hiding in the corner.
It's like he read my eyes in a zone coverage.
- Yeah, um, zone coverage.
I, I don't really know what that is, but um, whatever.
So, you know, I just,
I really think that like I should be the one that you trust.
- You want me to do this story.
Absolutely not.
Well, maybe.
I need you to do me a favor
and then I can give you what you want.
- Okay look, I'm not that type of girl,
but um, I know someone with really pretty toes.
- Listen, I promised my mother
I would bring the beautiful woman to Christmas dinner.
It's kind of a big deal to her.
She's old and all and so I just, uh,
I wanna come through clutch.
- So you think I'm beautiful?
- I mean, you, you not Bae, "Crazy in Love" video,
but you know, I mean, you all right?
- All right, uh, fair enough.
Listen, I'm a professional.
So respectfully, I have to decline your offer.
- Okay.
I understand.
Enjoy your day.
- Okay wait, you're not gonna try to like convince me to-
- It was nice to meet you, Leticia.
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
(whimsical music)
(engine roaring)
- Ooh, my baby's home!
Jarvis.
- Hey.
- Oh my goodness.
Thank you, baby.
- Oh, this is my date right here, Leticia.
- Hi. - Well hello, Leticia.
- Hi, merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart.
Ooh, we gonna have to put some meat on them bones, honey.
- Oh, um, uh, I'm vegan, so it's, it's like uh, yeah.
- Ooh, Lord, Lord, Lord, ooh.
- It's, it's, it's okay, Ma.
Look, it's, black people are doing it now.
It's actually kinda healthy, right?
- Yeah, yeah, it's, it's very healthy, yeah.
- Oh, okay. - It's a thing.
- Better than, understand.
- All right, look, I'm gonna go get the bags,
so follow her.
Yeah, mi casa es su casa.
- [Momma Dee] All right.
- Okay, okay.
Smells like chitlins and hog mugs, but uh,
I could do this, I could do this.
Little bit of (muttering).
What's this is over here?
- So you must be the big time reporter, huh?
My brother says you're supposed to be all high class.
You ain't all that.
Turn around, let me see your head.
Turn around, it's okay.
- What, do you work for TSA or something?
I mean, what's going on here?
- It's tracks, ain't it?
Yeah, you ain't all that.
- Okay, so you've never added extensions to your hair
for full length and volume.
- I got my eye on you, big city girl,
and you better not be after my brother's money
just like all the rest of 'em
'cause you ain't gonna get a dime, all right?
- Okay, let's start this over.
Hi, I'm Leticia.
Nice to meet you.
- Uh-huh, I got my eye on you.
- Oh, Leticia, what's going on, my sweet little TT.
Been looking all over for you.
I see you've met my loud mouth, obnoxious,
sometimes don't know how to mine her business, sister, Rea.
But you can call her Riri.
- Okay, yeah, she's actually quite adorable.
- That's absolutely correct.
She's quite the adorable one.
- Yeah.
- Anyway, I wanna introduce you to my pops.
Come on. - Oh yeah, okay.
(Poppa yawns)
- Mm!
- Hello.
- Oh.
Oh, hey. - Hi.
- Oh, come on now, girl.
From the South.
We don't do that bougie corporate thing down here.
We hug.
Come on, we hug.
Come on in here.
Yeah, that's it, mm-hm.
(Poppa chuckles)
- Oh God.
- Ooh, girl, look at you.
Have much meat on your bone, do you?
You know what, black men around here, we like hips, butt.
I ain't seen none of that round and flat
since I looked at tortilla.
Look it, my wife tells me you one of those crunchy,
avocado toast eating sisters.
- Mm-hm.
- Ooh girl, let me teach you something.
Come on, come on. - No, what, what?
- Pick your feet up, God damn.
(light dramatic music)
- Ma, you, you better not.
I thought the pastor delivered you from all of that.
- Son, all have sinned.
- So what's going on?
You're not stressing about my interception, are you?
Because I, I'll be all right, you know?
Thank you, but I've had a good run, so yeah.
- Nobody care about your damn interception.
You've had many of 'em your career.
- Yeah.
- And when nobody care about you,
we gonna love you whether you do football or not.
You just keep on making that money.
- Well, thank you for the reinforcing statement, I think.
Well maybe I'm just trying to look at things
on the bright side now.
- Jarvis, it's your father.
I think he's up to something.
- Up to something, like what?
- I don't know why, I,
I don't know why I didn't think about it.
She was right under my nose
and he's been trimming his nose for the last two weeks.
- What, Pops?
Come on now.
Ma, that don't even sound like him.
Plus, you remember when you made
the announcement last year for Christmas,
when you said because of his diabetes,
his, his, his, you know, his- - Jarvis, Jarvis.
- His pipes wasn't working right?
- Jarvis, they got medicine for that, son.
- Ma, Ma, that's, that's TMI.
- I'm not sure about what to do.
I've read about 16 different ways to end it,
but I don't wanna be taken off the insurance.
- All right, first of all, stop watching too much TV.
Second, I don't know, I mean,
y'all been together for like 42 years, Ma.
Maybe y'all should just have a conversation
before you resort to a first degree felony conviction.
You know?
- Well, maybe that does make sense.
- Let me talk to him.
- I don't know if that's gonna be a good idea, son.
You know, Justin was his favorite.
- Yeah, well, Justin is gone,
so I guess I'm gonna have to do.
- Have you learned to accept that?
- Have I ever had a choice, Ma?
- Never, not really.
But you know, maybe it's not bad to be second sometimes.
- Now look, round here, you gotta know how to shoot.
Mm-hm, yeah.
Come on now.
You never know when you're gonna see
a dinner deer across the road or a,
it could be a zombie apocalypse
or you run into one of them Maganificent insurrectionists.
Got to, hm, yeah. - No, no, no, no, no.
I'm really not with all the violence and-
- Bougie girl, if you gonna be in our family,
you can't be milk toast.
You got to sop this up with a biscuit!
Now come on.
- No, I, I really can't.
- Yes you can. - I can't, I can't, I can't.
- Like Michelle Obama said.
- Oh, I can't. - Uh-huh.
"When they go low, you shoot 'em high in the face."
- Yeah, I, oh. - Come on now.
Get in there.
Put your hands on there. - Okay, well.
Oh, okay.
- It's heavy, okay. - What, okay.
There you go.
- Where do I put?
- Put your, put your finger down the trigger.
- Okay, okay. - There, there you go.
- Okay, all right. - Okay now,
position yourself, get ready.
- Okay.
- Come on, there's a little kick there.
(gunshot firing)
(Leticia laughs)
Pop, the weasel go pop!
- Can I go, can I go again?
- Uh-huh, yeah, go ahead.
- Okay, all right.
- I'm not a crunchy girl and I'm not avocado toast!
(gunshot firing)
- Ooh!
Okay, okay. - Okay.
Carol Blakely did not deserve to be prom queen over me
'cause the bitch is bow-legged!
(gunshot firing)
- Okay, all right, all right, that's enough.
Okay, okay, all right, okay.
Yeah, okay, all right.
Yeah, you shot the bow-legged bitch.
Let's go.
Come on now, let's go eat.
Mm-hm. - You know,
all this releasing has me really hungry.
(both chattering)
(upbeat holiday music)
(family laughing)
- Yeah, all righty now.
- [Leticia] Oh um.
- Oh, well, Pops, Pops, Leticia, she doesn't eat meat.
- What?
Everybody eats a little meat every now and then,
especially at Christmas.
Come on now.
- Oh, uh, with all due respect, um,
I just don't believe in killing animals for food.
- Oh.
- I just think it's unjust.
- So you gonna disrespect a chef in his own house
and his own kitchen?
- Listen, come on now.
Everybody's entitled to, to their opinion, right?
- Mm, mm-hm. - Mm-hm.
- Yeah, I guess.
Pass and disrespect a chef in his own house and kitchen,
that's a little rude if you ask me.
Mm, Mm, Mm.
I think you should at least try it.
- Okay, okay.
Um, well, what is it?
I mean.
- Well, I like to call it improbable meat.
- Oh.
Oh, that's so sweet of you
that you went and did this for me.
Oh, and you know, and you told them to.
You are a great Christmas date.
- Go ahead, Ms. Cosmo, give it a taste.
- I will.
And you know what it's like, it smells really good.
- [Poppa] Mm-hm.
(Riri chuckles)
- [Leticia] Mm-hm.
- She's skinny, but she ain't eat.
- Like that, huh?
- So you don't know what brand it is?
- Oh, oh, no, no.
Don't care about the brand, see just,
we care about the spices and the.
- Mm.
This is really good.
- See, she likes it.
- Baby girl, you just ate possum.
(whimsical music) (Riri laughs)
- It's clean.
I caught it down there by the river.
It aint road kill.
At least it wasn't squirrel.
- Hey.
Hey, that spice over here.
Pass me that baby.
- Give it to your momma, boy.
- Pass that over here.
- [Riri] There's people starving.
- [Poppa] You know, possum, they eat a lot of plants.
(whimsical music)
(Cecee knocking on door)
- Ooh, my girl is here. - Hello.
- [Momma Dee] Amen!
- Merry Christmas. - Amen.
Baby. - Aw, thank you.
- Oh, hey, hey, Merry Christmas to you, too.
Cecee's here, y'all!
Now the party started.
- And the party can start 'cause I brought you your fave
and you do not have to share with anyone.
- Oh, aren't you just the most precious thing.
And you like, beef brisket, don't ya?
- You even have to ask, Momm.
- Jarvis. - Cecilia.
- It's been a minute.
- Yeah, it indeed it has.
- Yes.
Congratulations on another season.
- Another losing season.
- Oh yeah, it's been atrocious.
But God is good.
That's, that's what's important.
God is love.
- Right, right.
I gotta go check on Leticia.
Oh, that's my date for Christmas.
The one I, the one I actually came with.
- Date? - Mm-hm.
- To Christmas?
Wow, can't wait to meet her. - That's why we're here.
- Hi Cecee. - Oh!
- Uh, she's vomiting in the bathroom right now.
- Oh, okay.
It's, it's food poisoning.
- Possum. - Yeah, okay.
(Jarvis knocking on door)
- How you doing in here?
- Ugh, your family doesn't like me.
I've tried to keep it cool, but this is, just isn't fair.
- My family doesn't hate you.
I mean, just a bit uptight.
Just loosen up, that's all.
- What do you mean I'm uptight?
'Cause I don't want animal carcass in my teeth,
that makes me uptight?
- My mom's beef brisket, trust me, it's worth the flossing.
I promise you.
- Listen, this better be one hell of a story, okay?
'Cause your family is putting me through hell.
- Wow.
That's, that's amazing.
- What are you laugh, what are you, what is funny?
What, what could be funny right now?
- You're actually cute when you're angry.
Finally, I get a chance to see some real emotion out of you.
A glimpse of who the real Leticia is.
See, my whole career is about reading people.
I can read the defense.
I can read the linebacker's eyes,
the coaches' interactions with the rival team.
But you I couldn't quite read.
But now, I see something.
- Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.
I'm gonna get through this dinner
and you're gonna give me my story.
And after this meeting, we're done.
(light music)
- I bet, can you imagine?
That girl is lost.
She actually thinks
that she's better than the rest of us folks.
- Well, your son did always like that type.
I always thought he was rebelling against his upbringing.
- Well you know something? - Hm?
- He ain't gonna never find a woman better than you.
You're sweet, you're loyal,
and you always bring his mama her favorite wine.
Pour me up a little bit more. - Ooh, yes ma'am.
Momma Dee, what we had is long gone.
You know, that was like hometown high school romance.
- Yeah, it was college romance, too.
- Uh-huh, not smart of me to break up with him
right before the draft.
No, I was scared.
I just wanted like a regular man,
not a pro superstar athlete, you know?
I should have just encouraged his dreams.
I was wrong.
- Was wrong, incredibly stupid,
and you missed out on a lot of money.
- Thank you.
- Idiot. - Momma.
(Momma Dee chuckling)
You know I love you, but you don't have to be that honest.
Like you could lie to me.
- Well, you know, I love you, too.
And ain't nobody coming up in here
bringing me no grand babies but you.
I'm gonna make sure of it.
- Momma Dee, you are crazy.
No, no, I'm okay.
Momma Dee, look at me.
I'm at peace, okay?
I made a mistake,
but that's the way the world works sometimes.
- I'm gonna show you how the world works because you and me,
we gonna make sure
that we get that Madison Avenue heifer out the picture.
I'm gonna make sure of it.
- That does not sound good.
You got a plan, don't you?
- Watch and see.
- (laughs) You feeling better?
- I am actually.
Thank you. - Hmm.
What kind of shoes are those?
- Italian, difficult to pronounce.
- Oh, you think you got it like that?
- Actually I do.
- Hmm, well I'm thinking
that you just want my brother's money and I don't like you.
- Well, you do know that I have my own money, okay?
- What was that?
- I got moves.
- Oh, word?
Show me.
Let me see it.
- No, I don't need any help with my moves.
- I don't wanna help. - I know how to bring.
- I just wanna see it. - Whatever.
- Mm, hey. - How's it going?
- Yeah, something, you can go buy you a coat.
(both chuckling)
(both chattering) (whimsical music)
- All right, so we'll be in touch.
Make sure you gimme a call.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
Mm, Mm, Mm, yes sir.
- Ooh, so you mister trick daddy now.
- I'm about to show you something real quick.
- Girl, let me tell you something,
I don't need no help with my moves, okay?
- All right, all right.
Well, what you know about this?
♪ Yeah, throw it back, back ♪
♪ Wait, no hands ♪
♪ Bust it wide open do it on a handstand ♪
♪ It's in rotation 'cause by bank, for days ♪
♪ We gon' throw a stack, stack ♪
♪ Pop a rubber band ♪
♪ Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop ♪
♪ I'm a throw it back, back ♪
♪ Wait, no hands ♪
♪ But it wide open do it on a handstand ♪
- Mm!
Damn, Unc, I ain't know you was a player like that.
- Mind your business, nephew, all right?
So uh, yeah, don't tell anybody you actually saw that.
Just be quiet, keep it low, you know?
Pretend you Stevie Wonder, you didn't see it.
Okay?
- Wow, Big Poppa. - Mm-hm.
- Right out here on the front yard too, huh?
- Boy, go in the house, all right?
Hey uh, you do have some of that medicinal uh, you know,
spinach you got there?
- Just for the family. - Yeah!
Yeah, get my shit on.
- Where everybody at?
Slim here.
- Oh my goodness! (laughs)
- Hey!
- Ooh, Lord have mercy.
My favorite nephew. - He's here.
- Well, how's the tour going?
- It's going good.
I mean, it's rough though.
- Well, well, well, I'm, you know, I know.
It got, gotta be brutal out there.
I've been here about a lot of deaths.
- Man, it's not good for the culture, either.
- Ooh.
- But you know, I stay strapped.
- Me too.
(both laughing)
- But look, uh you know,
I'm not no snitch or nothing like that,
and I'm your blood, so feel me on this.
You need to watch what's going on outside
on the side door over there.
But you ain't hear that from me.
- Yeah, all right then.
Well, well, listen.
Go on in there.
Jarvis and them in there.
- All right?
- And, and, go say hello to everybody.
The food be ready in a minute, okay?
- Perfect, perfect. - All right, baby.
- Ooh.
What do I hear?
(Riri laughs)
Go ahead!
Woo, sheesh!
Hey, Slim.
- What up?
Who's this? - Oh.
Hi. - Hi.
- I'm Leticia.
- Leticia, I'm, my pleasure. - Yeah.
- Who is this?
- Oh, this is our cousin, Slim.
He's like a hot local rapper.
- Oh.
- First off, regional.
I'm in three states now.
- Three states. - Yeah, regional, regional.
- That's sexy.
- Well, we love him all the same.
Especially when he is not in prison for drugs,
assault, and maybe a little attempted murder.
- Manslaughter.
Stop telling the girl my business.
I'm not gonna- - When I pull out the heat...
- I put 'em to sleep, ah!
- What's up, cuz?
- 'Cuz, what up, what up, man?
- Hey.
- It's good seeing you.
Look good, too.
Look, sorry about that interception, man.
That was tough.
But look, I lost $1,000 on that game,
so you know I'm gonna need that back, right?
- Ah yeah, whatever, man.
- Who's this?
- That's Leticia.
that's my date for Christmas dinner.
But um, she was actually just leaving my sister's bedroom
because why would she even be here the first place?
- Right, right. - Slim, give me a second.
Just, quick. - What?
- Come here. - What?
- Just to make it clear, I won that twerk contest.
- I'm in love. - No, you're not.
- What?
What is wrong?
What you doing?
- What am I doing?
I don't understand.
I bring you over here to act civilized and bougie,
and you in the back twerking with the best.
Beautiful and possibly stupid.
What are you doing?
- Well, you're the one that said I was uptight.
Okay, I thought you needed to see that side.
Plus, I'm tired of your sister giving me the side eye.
- Oh, so twerking fixes that somehow?
- Twerking fixes everything.
You should try it.
- Look, I just need for you to get through dinner,
all right?
Then me and you, we can be done with this.
'Cause my momma, momma,
her cognitive thinking ain't working right.
So I don't need for her to be more stressed
than what she already is.
Do you get it?
- You should have this authority on the football field.
- Oh, just get through dinner.
That's it.
Pops. - Yeah?
- What you doing, man?
It's, it's Christmas.
Lay off the work.
- Hey, man, gotta keep the place spic and span, you know,
before we start making changes.
- Oh, man, I, I knew it.
Y'all getting a divorce?
- Oh, no, boy.
What's wrong with you?
You play football without your helmet on.
You got CTE?
No, that's not it.
- Then what is it, man?
- Truth is, I'm selling the place, all right?
You know, me and your mother, we gonna downsize.
It's just, we'd like to get a place down by the beach.
A nice little condo.
We don't need this much house anymore.
It's too much to clean up.
It's just, it's too much.
- So you're selling our family home?
- Our, our.
Let's see, you helped put some money in on this?
No, boy, I was down in manholes for 25 years,
taking care of business, all right?
I didn't need none of your little football money.
- Come on now, Pops, you can't do that.
What about Riri?
- What, what about Riri?
She's 29 years old, boy.
She needs to take care of herself.
Get her own family.
- Well, have you at least told Momma?
- No and you not gonna either, all right?
Don't get sacked out here in this front yard, boy.
I will do it, linebacker style.
- Pops, that ain't right.
- Oh, okay.
I tell you,
you ain't gonna come in my house
telling me about what's right and what's wrong, all right?
I'm the father.
I raised you, boy.
I'm the daddy, all right?
Three years old, I put a football in your hand.
I taught you how to throw, how to tackle, all right?
I'm the one that told you to man up
when you came home crying like a little punk.
"Oh, daddy, they hurt me in practice today."
I said, "Keep going, man up!"
And you know what,
manning up means you get outta my business and mind yours.
- Whatever, man.
You know,
I always wondered why you treated me different than Justin.
I thought maybe now you would be proud of me or something.
You know, treat me with a little respect
and talk to me like a man.
You can't even look me in my face.
(plane engine whirring)
- Don't get yourself in trouble now.
- I told you, I'm about that life.
- It's always the good girls, I swear.
You might wanna slow down.
That ain't no punk.
- I ain't no punk.
- I could see that.
So where you from?
- Originally, I'm from Norfolk, Virginia.
But my mom and dad split up when I was a kid
and then my mom moved up north.
So I, I kind of feel like I'm a southern girl
with like a east coast vibe, if that makes sense.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah, sure.
Just hit it again.
- Right.
- Ooh.
- So what about you?
- Me? - Yeah.
- Honestly, I was born and raised here.
I mean, Momma Dee practically raised me.
She's my mom's sister.
- Oh.
- My mom had a lot of mental health problems
and I never knew my pops.
- What do you mean, had?
- She died about 10 years ago.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Right after Justin.
- Wait, Justin?
- Oh yeah, Justin.
See he was actually the, the football star.
But once he died in that motorcycle accident, man,
it just kind of sent the whole family in the spiral.
Jarvis left to the NFL, left everything behind.
- So that's why he's always so angry?
- Nah, he's been like that, you know?
- Yeah, I can see that. - Yeah.
Anyways, I like that twerking you was doing.
- Oh God.
I, I don't, I, I don't know what came over me.
Like, that girl just gets under my skin, you know?
- Trust, I know.
- Yeah, she's just like, what is it?
Like, I think she needs more vegetables.
- Who knows?
(both laughing)
- Mm-hm.
Marcus, huh?
- Yeah, well, you know?
- [Riri] Y'all want me out?
- Baby girl, what are you talking about?
- I'm gonna give you guys a second
and just check some emails.
- Baby girl, come, come, come in.
Talk to me.
- Now I know I've been staying here too long,
but it's our home and I feel safe here.
What, I'm supposed to feel bad for wanting to feel safe?
- Listen, I know when Justin died, it was hard on you.
And you may feel like the,
the world was a scary place to be.
But you're a strong woman.
You come from a line of strong black women
and you can find the courage to venture out on your own.
Baby, you deserve to have a full life.
You got this.
- You and Poppa, Jarvis, y'all are all I got.
I feel like I need to stay here and protect y'all.
- Now come on now.
We gonna always be close because we family.
But me and your daddy wanna walk around here butt naked
if we so desire and you cramping our style,
if you know what I mean.
- Mom, please.
I, I, we didn't need to do that.
- Well, I got another go around in me.
- Oh, Mom, please.
I, uh, we're not gonna do this right now.
- Well that is if your daddy act right.
Right now he got some stuff going on
that ain't making me feel all warm and fuzzy.
- Yeah, you, yeah, you do need to talk
'cause he's holding some secrets.
- Is that right?
- Yeah, but you guys can talk about that later.
- Come on, come on, come on.
Tell me what's going. - Not my business.
It's like none of my business at that point, you feel me?
- Ooh, just like her daddy.
(upbeat holiday music)
(upbeat holiday music continues)
♪ Santa I've been good this year ♪
♪ Make your list and check it twice ♪
♪ I'll leave you a note right here ♪
♪ Underneath the Christmas lights ♪
♪ Carols and bells, none of them help ♪
♪ I still feel good ♪
♪ I just wanna fall in love with Christmas ♪
- So how you been?
- I've been good.
Just doing uh, my gardening videos, selling things online.
- Mm. - Making a decent living.
Just a simple life.
- Yeah.
Well, you don't know how good you actually got it
with the simple life. - Mm.
- 'Cause trust me, all these flashy lights, cameras,
paparazzi, and people all up in your business.
It's not what it's all cracked up to be.
- I think I'd hate it if everyone saw every mistake I made
front and center too.
- Yeah, well try making a ton of them.
- Mm-hm, 'cause you do, don't you?
We all do.
- And to be honest,
I know I made a huge one when it came to you.
Though I don't ever admit it.
- Well, I'm glad you know that.
- Come on now.
I mean, just remind me of home every time I see you, Cecee.
Just embody everything that's good about this place.
Honest, sweet, pure.
- Pure and simple, right.
- Yeah.
We were something, wasn't we?
- Yeah, we were.
I've been through a lot with your crazy self, you know?
Thick and thin.
- You remember when I stole Pop's Cadillac
and I couldn't get the gear out of first gear?
- Literally ground that thing all the way to the movies.
Just like, I don't even know how he got there.
- My pops told me, oh, when I got back,
I just remember everything.
Every time I think about it, I came back,
he opened that door.
He had that big old leather belt that rolled out
like toilet tissue.
It was like.
(both making pop sounds)
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Pops is crazy.
- Yeah, good times.
But everything got so serious.
- Yeah, indeed it did.
- Yeah.
- You ever,
do you ever think about us?
- Every day.
Every single day.
Come here.
(whimsical music)
(Riri screaming)
- Oh!
Sorry girl, that was some bomb ass weed.
He got a lot of swag.
- What?
I bring you to my mom's house and this is what you do?
You know what?
And I was just starting to have feelings for you.
Cee.
- Slim, outside now.
Hurry up!
Get out here, man.
What the hell is wrong with you, man?
Up at my momma house?
God, man, I swear to God, Slim.
Do you just want these hands, man?
Come on.
- Come on, man.
I am not finna fight my cousin.
Plus, I'm way too high for that right now.
- But Slim, why?
And, and, and on my sister's, your cousin Riri's bed?
Slim, that's weird.
- I know, I know, I know.
You know my flesh is weak, plus she was so ready.
- Oh really, she was ready?
- She was and she smelled so good.
- Oh, what she smelled like she like?
- Like Chanel No. 5.
- Chanel No. 5?
Man, I was telling you about them girls, that Chanel.
Chanel- - I tried to tell y'all.
- Shut up, Slim.
This was your chance, huh?
You always wanted to take my spot.
Be the darling of this family.
Mister big time local, oh, oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm sorry, regional rapper.
You just never wanna let me shine.
- Let you shine?
Yo, there's enough shine for all of us, man.
You tripping.
You ain't been the same since Justin died.
- Hey, lemme tell you something.
Don't you bring him up.
You understand?
- It needs to be brought up.
You over here acting like you better than everybody.
Y'all wasn't even the same.
You too caught up in your own BS
to even realize that as your cousin, I looked up to you.
- Really, man?
- Yeah, man.
You caught your dreams, man.
I can only wish to be as disciplined and as focused as you.
- I mean, even after losing your $1,000 to my interception?
- Sure, I lost a stack and you threw an interception
but Joe Montana threw picks, man.
- Yeah, he did, didn't he?
He had a lot of 'em, too. - A lot.
- Yeah.
- Huh, just for real, man.
I don't get it.
You're amazing.
What's wrong with being you?
- Thank you, cousin.
- Any time, love you.
- Love you, too.
Look here, you gonna clean my sister's sheets.
Evidence gone, DNA, I swear to.
I'm gonna come in there with a black light later on.
Better be gone, all right?
- Scout's honor.
- Slim, don't you ever disrespect me again.
You my favorite cousin and rapper now.
I wanna, I don't want to have to come back in
to test them street creds, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- When the ops pull out the heat.
- We put 'em to sleep!
- All right.
Okay, all right?
- Oh, okay, okay.
I see all your reflexes.
Thank God,
'cause I thought I was gonna have to whip your ass
in front of Momma Dee's house.
Kinda cold out here, too.
NFL player think I'm gonna whoop his
'cause he in the NFL, what?
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
- All right and a little rabbit food for you.
- Oh, thank you.
That's really nice.
Hey, hey, hey.
All right, there you go.
Not before we say grace, heathen.
- Y'all coulda at least got a room.
- Look, my bad, okay?
You know I got a soft spot for thugs.
- I'm, I'm sorry, Momma.
- [Poppa] Not before we say grace, heathen.
- Wait, where's Cecee?
- Who's Cecee?
- Look y'all, hold on.
- Cecee gonna eat? - Man, we hungry.
- Who's Cecee? - Let's just pray without him.
Cecee- - No, we can't do that.
- [Riri] I touched it.
- Cecee, come on.
Cecee, please, wait.
Cecee, wait.
Cecee, wait!
Cecee!
- Jarvis, please.
Can you go back and be with your family, okay?
It's Christmas.
- Cecee, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't give us any closure.
I just left and I know I,
I was stupid back then, I was young.
But I know now.
- But that's what you're looking for, right?
That's what you wanted.
Some high class, bougie city girl
who gonna sleep with your cousin
in your momma's house on Christmas?
I waited for you and I prayed that you would come back,
but you were too busy chasing
and see you already had a pot of gold at home.
- Yeah, you're right.
You're absolutely right and I was,
that's all I've been doing is,
searching and trying to find something that wasn't me.
And they're not you.
None of them are you.
- I just don't believe you anymore.
- Then don't.
You don't have to believe anything I'm saying right now.
Please, just come back and eat with us.
And, and look, we can take this part slow.
You can watch me, you can watch all of my actions.
And, if you'll have me, maybe I can have another chance,
and I promise that I can make this right again.
- Jarvis, you broke my heart.
- I love you.
I love you, Cecilia.
And um, I'm my daddy's son, so a man gotta eat.
(Cecee sniffles)
- Well I'm gonna come back for dinner, because I'm hungry.
And I love you.
But you're not getting any.
You coming?
- That's fair enough, yeah.
(light upbeat music)
(light upbeat music continues)
(family chattering) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music fades)
(water rushing)
- Mm, this is good.
- You are ignoring my question.
- Oh, did I fake?
No, I fake, I for real proposed.
(tense music)
- Jarvis Latavian Porter Senior!
- Hey, what, what, what?
- You disgust me.
- [Jarvis] What?
- What's going on now?
What's the problem?
What did I do?
What are you talking about now?
- Oh no, don't try to play stupid with me.
I've seen what you've been doing
and I tried to let it slide.
I said,
"Oh, well, well maybe it's the side effects of the Viagra."
"I, I, he, he needs a little bit more stimulation."
"Oh, it'll pass."
And it didn't.
It didn't.
- Dolly, come on now, Dolly. - Mom, put that gun down.
- 40 Years.
40 years of my life.
40 years.
I had a body like Serena, a face like Kelly.
- Mm-hm.
- And I gave it all to you.
40 years.
And look what you did to me.
I gave you a beautiful family.
You must have lost your marbles down one of them manholes.
- [Poppa] Now look-
- In front of my home on Christmas?
Jarvis, I will take you outta here!
- Oh! - Whoa, Momma.
- Okay, listen, Dolly. - Ma, Ma, Ma.
- Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, listen.
Okay, now wait a minute.
- No, no, no.
You tell it to God, because I ain't listening to it.
- Yes you, listen, I can explain.
I'm just saying listen, listen.
You, you talking about Shirley, right?
- Shirley who?
- She's a real estate agent, okay?
- Oh, so now you got a professional, professional woman.
- No, you- - Shut up!
You told me.
"Oh, honey, honey, stay, stay home, stay home."
"Take care of the babies."
"I'm a traditional man."
Traditional my ass, Jarvis.
I saw you out there!
- I do, I do.
Listen, listen!
Okay, she's a real estate agent because I needed one
because I, I sold the house.
I told him.
I sold the house, okay?
I bought us a house down by the beach.
A nice little condo.
I mean, Dolly baby, look.
Okay, the papers, they're,
they're right under the tree baby, please.
- So you're kicking me out.
- [Family] You're 29.
- In two months.
- Ah!
See.
- Let me see, don't you move.
- [Slim] Don't go down.
(family chattering)
No, okay, oh.
- Ma, Ma, put it, put the, angle downward.
- Oh.
Oh yeah, oh.
Oh, it say he bought me a house.
Oh, June Bug.
You were being all kind and considerate, oh.
Thank you, baby. - Just wanna spend my,
spend my life with you. - Yeah, mm.
You gonna get some for Christmas, okay?
- Okay.
(gunshot firing) (family screaming)
- Y'all so dog gone scary!
- Yeah, y'all is scary.
- [Riri] Oh, Momma Dee.
- Pick it up for me, boo.
- Aw. - I got it, I got it.
- Can I see the house?
- Yeah, yeah, here. - Can I see?
- Look at that, look, look.
Look at that.
- Oh, come on.
- It's actually really nice. - Oh, that's sweet.
- But you're really kicking me out.
- I mean, yeah.
Sell the gun.
- Daddy, don't give that to me.
Show him, Jarvis.
- Jarvis gonna buy you one, too.
- Jarvis!
- I'm trying!
Stop, stop. - Oh.
- Gimme the gun, I got you.
- Yeah take, take, take that thing somewhere.
Take it somewhere.
- Give me that damn gun.
- [Jarvis] All right, just take the gun.
- Jarvis, Jarvis. - Yes?
- [Momma Dee] You gonna buy her home like this, too.
- I am.
(couple laughing)
Yeah, I know.
- Well, thank you for walking me home.
I don't think I've slept on your mom's couch since like,
high school, yeah. - Yeah, high school.
- Yeah, wow.
Well, home safe, so.
Guess I'll talk to you later.
- Yeah.
You know, if you read defenses the same way you read women,
I'm not surprised you're retiring.
(light music)
(people chattering)
- Uh-huh.
What?
And what did you say?
- Girl, I mean,
what's wrong with me living and being a little free?
I mean, who cares if they slut shame me, you know?
- It's not just for the guys.
Okay, look, do you think I should do it or not?
- Girl, you know what I say.
Live and let live, okay?
- Exactly, girl, that's why I, that's why you're my friend.
Okay, that is why I love you, girl.
- Girl, I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
Woo.
(light music)
(light music continues)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Hi, Burman.
Um, look, um,
I have something that I need to tell you.
You can take that job and shove it.
And I'm not giving you that story
and I'm not even coming back.
And you know what?
You smell like dirty socks.
- What are you gonna do?
Where are you gonna go?
- [Slim] Tell him.
- Where am I gonna go?
Do you know you are talking to the new head of publicity
for the Slim Porter regional tour.
- We about to glow up! - Glow up.
Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I mean, it's been real,
but I'm sure you'll find somebody else.
- Always such fun talking to you.
Let's do this again In the next millennial.
- Ha ha!
He don't even know.
- No, not at all.
- This is about to be huge, baby.
- Big tour, big tour. - Yeah.
- First of all, I think we get a bus.
- Yeah.
I think we should do an RV.
- Ooh, that's sexy.
(smooth music)
- I guess I lied.
- Yeah.
Well, I guess this is it for now?
- Yeah.
- I mean, well, you know,
you can always do gardening up north.
Since I'm about to be newly retired, I um,
I think I can learn a new hobby.
- Are you asking me to come with you?
- Possibly.
Yeah.
- Are you gonna pay for my movers?
- Movers?
Oh no, I was just, you know, you, you just.
- Oh no, I have the things. - House, gotta go.
- Oh, you're gonna give me a drawer, huh?
- Yeah, one drawer at a time.
I was just. - You know what?
Yes.
- Yeah? - I'll come with you.
- Well um, after what we did last night,
I kind of already did.
You are so confident.
- I know.
♪ All the people I love, babe ♪
- Oh.
You wanna make me a double liar.
- Uh-huh, double lies.
♪ Oh I ♪
♪ Feel you this Christmas ♪
♪ I feel you babe ♪
♪ And I will never take for granted ♪
♪ The way you took my hand and ♪
♪ Led me along the path where I should be ♪
♪ So I put you first ♪
♪ You tell me that what you're worth ♪
♪ I know nothing comes close to your ways ♪
♪ So for that I trust and obey yeah ♪
♪ Your love is so ample in my life ♪
♪ And I know this, I know this because ♪
♪ I am surrounded by all the people I love ♪
♪ There's no reason to crowd 'cause I ♪
♪ Know that you will hold us ♪
♪ Oh I ♪
♪ Feel you this Christmas ♪
♪ I feel you, hey ♪
♪ Feel you this Christmas ♪
♪ I feel you, hey ♪