- ♪ MTV ♪
Downloaded from YTS.MX
[D'Angelo's "Brown Sugar"]
- [vocalizing]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[phone buzzing and blipping] - Wake up. It's 4/20.
Wake up. It's 4/20.
- ♪ And her name was Brown Sugar ♪
♪ See, we be making love constantly ♪
♪ That's why my eyes are a shade blood burgundy ♪
- [sighs] Can't believe I have to go to work today.
- ♪ That I be kissing when I'm kissing ♪
♪ What I'm missing, won't you listen ♪
♪ Brown Sugar, babe, I gets high off your love ♪
♪ I don't know how to behave ♪
♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪.
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
- This ought to do it.
- ♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
- [grunts]
- ♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
- [yawns]
[groans]
- ♪ Oh, Sugar, when you're close to me ♪
♪ You love me right down to my knees ♪
- Today I will be the best version of myself.
- ♪ Sweet like honey when it comes to me ♪
♪ Skin is caramel with the cocoa eyes ♪
- , I don't wanna go to work today.
[chuckles]
- ♪ Brown Sugar, babe, I gets high ♪
- I don't judge myself.
I'm doing great, fine.
I'm doing fine.
I'm at least doing OK.
- [laughs]
Happy 4/20, princess.
Mm!
- God, Blaize, why are you in here?
And you stink, and you smell like corn chips.
Back up. - I love you when you're mean.
Mwah! - Ugh!
Ew. Don't you see I'm in here?
- I see, I see. Get over it.
- Blaize, look, we need to go over the house rules again
and again and again.
- Again and again and again.
Can we just do it any day but today?
It's our special day.
- Blaize, you smell like shit and you're annoying.
Gotta go.
- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I need you to hand me my douche.
- Screw you.
- Have a good day, sweetie.
- ♪ Brown Sugar got me open ♪
♪ Now I want some more ♪
♪ Always down for a ménage à trois ♪
♪ But I think I'ma hit it solo ♪
♪ Hope my [...] don't mind ♪
- Guard my shit, Ice T-Rex.
- ♪ Stick out my tongue, and I'm 'bout ready to hit ♪
- My anxiety is awful, but this ass is colossal.
- ♪ Brown Sugar, babe, I gets high off your love ♪
♪ Don't know how to behave ♪
♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ I want some of your brown sugar ♪
- You're not going to work, are you?
It's a holiday.
[door clicks shut]
I'm gonna get naked in your bed.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I want some of your Brown Sugar ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
- This eye shadow just really brings out your eyes.
- I can't believe I'm here.
Do y'all realize what day it is?
It's 4/20.
I should be high out of my mind.
But where am I? Way too close to you.
- You know, I would much rather be sitting with my girls,
having brunch right now, but, uh-oh, I have work,
you know, it's a thing that adults do.
But I'm so sorry that you can't get high all day.
- Well, you should be sorry 'cause this is your fault,
because nobody wants to work with you.
- That's not true.
Is that true?
Why don't people wanna work with me?
I'm a vibe.
- A bad vibe, girl.
On a bad vibe meter, I'm up here.
You, my friend, is way down here.
And every time we get busy, you freak.
- It is not my fault! I have performance anxiety!
It's a thing!
[breathes deeply]
Calming breath.
[breathes deeply]
I can't control your behavior, only my own.
- But you can't control your behavior.
Look at you, 'bout to have a little meltdown right now.
- It's not my fault that you have to come to work today.
Maybe if you didn't call in sick all the time,
Tameka would have just let you have the day off.
- Oh, you are right.
Girl, hold your head up.
I have been taking a lot of sick days off.
I'm feeling a little faint right now.
- Don't you dare!
- Ooh, ooh! - Hello, beautifiers!
It's your big day. - Ooh.
- How is my staff doing? - Ooh!
- What the hell? [people gasping]
Stella! Is everything OK, Stella?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Where am I? Ooh. - Are you all right?
- I'm good, I'm good.
- Are you actually believing this?
OK, she is not sick. She's faking it.
- Darcy, what is wrong with you?
You know she's been ill, like, very ill.
Honey, listen.
Why don't you go home, rest?
Darcy, she will handle everything.
- You sure? - She got it, she got it.
- What? - Yeah.
- I can't do all their makeup by myself.
- Darcy, you can't? Really?
That is not what we say here, all right?
You can do this.
Hello.
- I'm thinking maybe like a smoky eye
but nothing too intense.
Maybe like something pretty, natural--
- OK, yeah, so natural, pretty, glowy, smoky eye shadow.
Sure.
Yeah, that works.
None of them are conflicting at all.
- No.
- We look like raccoons!
- I'm so sorry, OK?
I was just--I was getting very overwhelmed.
And you guys just kept getting madder,
so I kept trying to go faster, and--
I have performance anxiety.
- I am not paying for this.
- I have been dreaming about this moment
since I was a little girl, and you messed it up,
makeup girl!
[screams]
[people clamoring]
- Oh, my God!
[people screaming]
[rock music]
- What the hell?
- Where you think you going?
- Little Miss Weavie Wonder.
- What?
Bring it!
[all shout]
[people clamoring]
♪ ♪
[Rita Marley's "One Draw" playing]
♪ ♪
- ♪ I wanna get high, so high ♪
♪ I wanna get high, so high ♪
♪ One draw ♪
- It's 4/20.
I just wanna get high.
♪ ♪
[line rings]
[phone ringing]
[Skyy's "High"] - ♪ High, high, high ♪
- Ugh. Ew.
Why are you calling me?
- Don't "ew" me.
I just got fired all because of you.
- Tameka fired you?
This really is the best day of the year.
[scoffs] Good luck job hunting, nerd.
Ew.
[video game blipping]
- [gasps] She hung up on me.
Oh, that bitch!
I cannot believe her.
Ugh!
- ♪ High ♪
[phone ringing]
- This bitch?
♪ ♪
- [screams]
Ugh! All right, fine.
You ruin my life, I ruin your stupid holiday.
Oh, my God, I cannot believe--
[engine grinding]
All right, Lady Bug, you got it, you got it.
Just go. Come on.
Come on. Just keep going.
[engine turning over] Yes! Ah!
- So superior.
She think she know it all.
Snobby Miss Prissy.
You ain't better than nobody.
- Oh, you don't wanna work with me?
Well, I don't wanna work with you.
You don't know who you're messing with, you--
you drughead!
- I'm glad Miss Tameka fired you.
You can't do no goddamn makeup anyway.
- ♪ And every time I think of you ♪
♪ I hear a symphony ♪
- OK.
[clears throat] What do we say?
Be positive, be confident, be assertive,
and stand up for yourself.
OK, I got this.
- ♪ Play on sweet and low, play on ♪
- Oh, parking brake! Ah!
[grunts]
There!
Are you OK?
Are you good?
All right.
OK.
♪ ♪
Son of a--
[sighs]
- Good morning, Officer.
- What?
- Bang on my door like a cop,
I'm gonna treat you like a cop.
- Does Stella live here?
- Name's not ringing any bells.
- Whatever, OK?
I know that she lives here because I
made the work contact sheet.
- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
You made the work contact sheet?
I didn't realize that you made the work contact sheet.
I didn't realize-- - OK, OK, OK, shut up, OK?
I just wanna talk to Stella.
- OK, OK, and I wanna bone a fireman.
Girl, we all have dreams.
Goodbye. - Oh, my God, you're so funny.
You should really look into comedy.
- Thank you. I am--
- Out of my way, burnout.
- Ah! OK, boss bitch coming through.
Watch out.
[video game blipping]
- [sighs]
- Oh, hell nah.
I know this ain't the annoying chick from work
up in my goddamn crib.
- OK, I am confronting you, OK?
I work my ass off every day.
I even wash Tameka's stupid little dog.
And I get fired?
You, you do absolutely nothing and you just skate by.
I mean, does that sound fair to you?
- I'm good with it. [scoffs]
- You're stoned.
It's 11:00 in the morning!
- Look, little girl.
I observe 4/20, which means I tolerate
zero bullshit on this day.
You, my friend, fall under the bullshit category.
So if you don't mind, Split Ends,
move.
- [sighs] Oh, my God.
[sneaky music]
♪ ♪
[ethereal music]
♪ ♪
Oh, yes. [mouthing words]
[toilet flushes]
- Hey, whore.
Hey, diva. - Did you just call me a whore?
- My name's Blaize, by the way, with an I,
because I see you.
- Wow, the longer I'm in this house, the dumber I get.
I'm gonna use your restroom.
- OK, well, good luck in there, because my diarrhea,
it's explosive.
- God, the people that live in this house.
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
It's so...beautiful.
[toilet flushes]
Mm.
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Now we're even.
♪ ♪
Ugh, smells like a turtle tank in here.
Quite the life you've built for yourself, Blaize...
with an I.
- Thanks.
- Ugh.
♪ ♪
- [inhales deeply]
[mysterious music]
[with deep voice, echoing] I foresee a coming conflict.
Friends become enemies.
Enemies become friends.
Lives will be changed, altered forever by the events
that transpire on this day,
the 20th of April.
♪ ♪
[coughing]
[normally] Whoa, this shit is good.
- ♪ Cool that you're famous ♪
♪ And I don't wanna let you down ♪
♪ But you're backwards and shameless ♪
♪ And I'd rather be in the crowd ♪
♪ Let me go ♪
- [sighs] Come on.
It's a holiday.
- ♪ Let me go ♪
Where's the Pink?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Boom!
I am assertive.
I am confident.
I stand up for myself.
Lady Bug, I am a vibe.
[engine grinding]
Oh, come on.
- Stella, be cool, Stella.
Stella, you're just high and you're paranoid.
Ice T-Rex, where the hell did I put that Pink Hashmeena?
Oh, shit, Tick Tock's gon' kill me.
OK, OK, maybe you didn't put the Pink Hashmeena
in the Pink Hashmeena resting spot,
where Ice T-Rex was guarding it.
It was just there this morning.
Man, I'm gonna die.
Shit. OK.
OK, OK, OK, think, think, think, think, think.
OK, it was there, but no one--
OK, you knew it was there, but no one could have--
♪ ♪
Aw, hell nah.
[engine grinding]
[engine turning over] - Yes! Ugh.
Lady Bug, we are both capable, powerful women.
♪ ♪
- Yo!
♪ ♪
That bougie nerd, UGG-wearing, basic bitch stole my stash.
[sighs]
[mockingly] "I'd rather be having lunch with the girls."
Huh.
Well, I got something for your ass!
♪ ♪
[shouts]
[door slams]
- You flushed it? So aggressive.
- I didn't think you had it in you.
- Well, what can I say?
My inner lioness came out, if you will.
[laughter]
- But wait, why didn't you just take the weed?
- Because that's stealing.
I'm not a thief; I'm just standing up for myself.
- Yeah, but today's 4/20.
- OK, if I hear those numbers again, I'm going to lose it.
- Hi, welcome to the Brunch Hut.
Do you have a reservation? - Uh!
You played me.
- Uh, I--I don't know what you're talking about.
- Liar. - Oh, incoming!
- [shrieks]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[people gasp]
both: Ooh!
- [grunting]
- Savage.
- But kind of awesome, maybe?
Does that make me a bad friend?
[rock music]
♪ ♪
[dishware shattering]
- How did you find me?
- This where all the bougie nerds go for brunch.
Where's my stuff?
- OK, OK, OK, let's just talk about this
for a second, all right?
Ooh!
[people gasp]
- Surprisingly badass, Darcy.
- Thanks, squad. Sorry.
- Oh, wait. The stoner's pissed.
- Darcy, run! - OK, wait!
Please don't hurt me!
- The only reason I'm not is because I want my weed.
Where's my weed?
- I flushed it.
- You flushed it?
No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did, because you deserve it
because you got me fired.
- You flushed it? [sighs]
- OK, this weird, calm energy is really freaking me out.
- Because it wasn't shake weed that you flushed.
- It was Pink Hashmeena, girl.
[people gasp] - Uh, cute name?
- It's not cute, OK?
Pink Hashmeena is so potent, its properties
are so damn magical,
it's worth a lot of money.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, maybe don't deal drugs.
- I don't deal drugs, OK?
Yes, I make my drops from time to time,
but that's for me to make some extra money. And?
- OK, so part-time felony to make ends meet?
Sounds like a nice plan.
- I got a life plan, sweetie, OK?
I'm working toward some things.
- Ooh, a secret plan.
Hey, guess what. I don't care!
- [sighs] - Hi, um, people are scared.
And also, you're blocking the door.
And people are pissed that you wasted their mimosas.
- And you a hostess.
We need to get in front of this.
- Uh, no, no, no. There is no we, all right?
I am an innocent, non-pothead, law-abiding citizen.
You are drug mule girl.
- Girl, we in this together, OK?
You coming with me to tell the plug what you did,
or you gon' catch these hands.
- [scoffs] I am not coming with you anywhere.
What does "catch these hands" mean?
- [grunts] - OK! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Excuse my ignorance, as this is my first experience
with a drug lord, but do they usually live in cute little
Asian-styled huts?
- They do.
The reason why we here is because of yo' ass
'cause you stole my goddamn stash.
Shit.
This Leila's crib. She's a middleman.
- Middlewoman. Labels matter.
- Just be cool.
Oh, and Leila's a bit extra too.
[gong resounds]
- What does "a bit extra" mean?
- [vocalizing]
Mm.
Happy 4/20, bitches.
Please, take a celebratory crown.
- No, thank you.
- Mm. - Hey, Leila, girl.
- Mm, hello.
And who is this scrumptious snack?
- Oh, this is-- - Those eyes are killing me.
The earrings are dope. But the aura feels...off.
I should align you.
[mystical music]
[grunting]
♪ ♪
[vocalizing]
- Ooh, OK. So, Leila, Darcy.
Darcy, Leila. - Mm, ni hao.
- Not Chinese. - Well, enchanted.
Let's smoke a bowl.
- Oh, gosh.
I been needing to do that.
- Mm, have you ever smoked marijuana
out of your butthole?
Mm.
Sit.
So, Marcy, tell me everything.
- It's Darcy.
- Don't shut yourself off to me, Darcy.
I see you.
I feel you.
I have an observation for you, Darcy.
Is that OK?
You're kind of a dickhead.
- [scoffs] You ain't lying. - Hey!
I am not a dickhead.
- No, no, no need to get defensive,
but you are, kind of, a little bit, but it's OK.
I got what you need.
You see, this healing crystal will just...
[inhales sharply]
Mm, suck all of that negativity
right out of that spirit of yours.
May I demonstrate?
- You're doing it.
- Mm. Open your heart and your hands.
Mm.
- OK, can we talk about the drug stuff
so we can go, please?
- All right, buzzkill.
What's up?
Tick Tock's been blowing up my phone all morning.
I mean, hello! It's a holiday.
- Exactly. My girl gets it. See?
- Look, I don't want your stupid rock
or wear your stupid weed crowns, OK?
We're here to tell you that we lost the marijuana.
We're really sorry, it was an accident,
and it's never gonna happen again.
OK, can we go now?
[tense music]
- I know you didn't just throw my crystal.
You are kind of a dickhead.
- Leila, we lost the Pink.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my gosh, way to break the tension.
That was funny. [laughs]
"Leila, we lost the Pink." [laughs]
I was, like, scared for a second 'cause I was like,
if you lost the Pink, we'd be murdered,
but then you were kidding, so that was a relief.
Like, I can wipe my brow.
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Wait, you lost the Pink Hashmeena?
But--but that doesn't make sense.
You were supposed to deliver it this morning.
- You know it's 4/20.
I slept late and I had to go to work.
I figured I'd drop it off in the morning.
And this nerd over here flushed it.
- This is bad.
The Pink has a street value of $20,000.
- Come again? Say what?
- Who spends that much money on pot?
- Connoisseurs, rappers, trust fund babies,
unlikable douchebags who buy good weed so people
pretend to like them.
Hey, you should try that one day if you're
struggling to make friends.
But this is really bad.
Oh, man, what are you guys gonna do?
- No, this is what we're doing, this right here, explaining
the situation, yeah.
Sucks. Sorry.
- Oh, yeah, OK, it does suck.
Yeah, it's not a big deal.
[laughs] It's not a big deal.
[laughs]
It's not a big deal!
- [screams]
- What are you telling me right now?
- She's throwing rocks!
- They're not rocks.
For the last time, they're crystals.
- Leila, chill. - Do not tell me to chill!
I'm just speaking my truth!
- [screams]
[glass shatters]
♪ ♪
- OK, well, uh, do you, then.
- Let her speak her truth.
- Tick Tock is gonna kill me.
She's a crazy person.
Do you know one time, I saw her bite someone's ear off?
- Ooh.
- And I think she swallowed it.
♪ ♪
- Welp, uh, I guess we're gonna skedaddle on that.
- All right, our time is up here now, Leila.
Go do you.
- You're not allowed to namaste!
Oh, this is so bad.
We're all gonna die.
- That woman is unhinged.
- You think?
Let's just go before she, you know--
- [grunts]
You brought bad juju into my safe space!
- Ooh, whee. - [screams]
Oh, Lady Bug! - OK, OK, OK, OK.
- She hit my car! [screams]
- What the hell, Darcy? Let's go!
[engine grinding] - [screams]
- Please drive, Darcy. What the hell?
- She just--she just does this sometimes.
- Now I gotta burn some sage!
Oh, wait, I'm all out of sage,
so now I gotta go to the sage store.
- [screams]
Stop hitting my car!
- Darcy, your car's trashed.
- You can't say that to her!
She needs words of encouragement!
- Leila's not taking the fall.
I'm gonna tell them who to go after.
[grunts] - OK, Lady Bug, I apologize.
You the baddest bitch in the whole land.
Let's go. - Come on, Lady Bug.
Please, please, please, please, please.
[engine grinding, turning over]
Yes!
[tires squealing] [body thuds]
Oh! - Oh!
Oh. - Oh, my God!
I think I hit Leila!
- Oh, no, she's fine. Drive.
[tires squealing]
♪ ♪
Drive, man, drive!
- You bitches are dead!
[Future's "Government Official" playing]
- ♪ I just went out to Morocco to do some recruiting, yeah ♪
♪ [...] the government official ♪
♪ We plugged with [...] ♪
- What are you doing?
- Paying her rent.
[chuckles]
- A strip club during the day?
- I come here to think.
- Here are your drinks.
- Thank you.
- All right, Titi, girl. Here you go, girl.
Tell lil' Eric said hey, OK?
Whoo!
- The bartender is definitely judging us.
I mean, rightly.
Should we explain to her
that we're drinking so early
because we almost had a near-death experience?
I mean, I thought that we were dead.
- We still dead, Darcy.
We gotta find 20 Gs.
How we gon' do that? - I don't know.
I mean, I've never had that much money at one time
in my entire life.
- Darcy, let's brainstorm, then.
You gon' sell some kidneys?
- I'm not selling any body parts.
- Pics of our feet? - Ew! No!
People do that? - You know they do that.
- You kind of look like you would do that.
- OK, do not judge us, all right?
You are bartending at a strip club called Dancing Dinero
on a day shift, so who do you think
is really doing worse at life?
- I don't know. I own the place, baby.
What do you mean?
- Well...
good for you.
- Shots for everybody!
Whoo!
[people cheering]
- She definitely thinks I'm a bad person.
- We dead persons, OK? You like that better?
Leila gon' tell Tick Tock you stole the Pink.
- Wait, what? Leila's gonna make a TikTok?
- Tick Tock's a person, fool.
- OK, I'm sorry.
It's just--it's all very confusing.
It's been a long day, all right?
OK, so Tick Tock is the ear-biter, right?
- Yes. Think of her like Darth Vader--
meaner, crazier, but still cute.
She reports back to the plug.
- OK, I'm really scared to ask this, but what is a plug?
- The plug is the boss, Madame X.
♪ ♪
- Can I get a shot? - Two.
- God, I really hate these meetings.
They're so dark.
Hey, congratulations. You're a grandpa.
You just don't know it yet.
- [laughs]
You should break up with him.
Oh, shit.
Oh, oh.
Oh, my God.
Hey, I was just looking for you guys.
There you are. [laughs nervously]
Oh, Tick Tock, I really like the boots.
I like the top.
Your inner light is just, like, blinding me right now.
It's gorgeous.
- Why we meeting at a mall?
- Just thought maybe we could get a little girl time in,
a little shopping or something.
- Do I look like I shop at a Gap
or eat at a Cinnabon?
- No, I don't think so. No.
- You wanna meet in a public place mean you scared,
mean bad news.
I don't like bad news.
- Wow, wow.
You are so intuitive.
What are you, a Scorpio? It's obvious.
I can give you a reading sometime
if you're ever interested.
Anyway, so it seems that Stella, uh,
and some random friend of hers
flushed the Pink Hashmeena,
like--like, down the toilet.
[dramatic music]
[knuckles cracking]
- One thing you might not know about me...
- Mm-hmm.
- I struggle with anger management issues.
- I never would have guessed.
Mm-mm. - Yup.
Ever since I was little.
Little boy pulls my pigtails, I knock him out.
Somebody steals from me, I shoot 'em.
That's just what I do.
- Well, violence is rarely the answer.
- My therapist tells me to channel my anger.
- Your therapist sounds really wise.
- But you got me at a mall and you don't have the Pink?
I hate the mall.
- Lucky for you, malls are dying nationwide,
so they won't be around much longer.
- You saying that right there makes me wanna shoot you.
- OK, um, I'm kind of more into choking than hair play,
so, uh--but, um, there's kids around
and elderly people getting in their 10,000 steps,
so can't shoot a Leila in a mall, right?
- No, she's right.
We'll take her somewhere else.
♪ ♪
- You wanna know something about me?
I'm a student of parkour!
♪ ♪
[people gasping]
- Damn!
You see that?
She fell through the Throw-N-Shade!
- That's where I just got my glasses from the other day.
- No, them?
- What? Buy one, get one free. - Them poppin'.
These the ones I was telling you about
when you got me wearing these in Miami.
[glasses clatter]
Why you gotta-- - Mm.
- Good thing they buy one, get one free.
She be doing too much.
- I was just finna ask you could I borrow?
- Yeah, I mean, if you can glue 'em together.
I got 'em in red too.
- [grunts]
Parkour.
- Today was gonna be such a good day.
Mm.
- You are...so pretty.
[laughs]
- Damn, and I was gonna hit up my edibles guy
and hit that.
He one of those "Silicone" Valley pot "afacionidos."
- Huh? You mean like an expert?
- Shoot, I'd smash, but I'd think I'd feel
bad after I did it, though.
- I feel bad for you now.
I mean, do you even know his name,
or you just say, "Ooh, edibles guy,
yeah, give it to me"?
- First of all, after a good, casual bone-down
with the weed man, I would've slide over to the 4/20 party,
but instead, I'm here with yo' ass, and we 'bout to die.
- OK, all this death talk is making me nervous.
- Wait, those are--ooh. - OK, really?
OK, I'm sorry. Can I please have a gummy bear?
I mean, it's just been a really rough day.
- Oh, go right ahead. Take two.
- Thank you. I will.
- Up, up, and away.
- [laughs] You are trouble.
[laughs] Hi, I'm Darcy.
Hi.
[phone chimes]
- Whoa, hold on.
This ain't good.
- Damn! - Is that Leila?
- This as yet unidentified woman is a person of interest,
wanted for questioning. - Girl, see, that's Tick Tock.
We dead.
- If you see her, please call 55-iSNiTCH.
That's 55-iSNiTCH.
I'm Sharon Reed for Blunt News Network.
- Maybe it's a coincidence.
- Coincidence?
Tick Tock killed Leila. Now she after us.
- Side note--is this whole criminal organization,
like, entirely run by women?
- Yes, girl, it's really progressive.
And only the female plant gets you high?
You know. - Wow, that's-0-
I mean, that's great for Madame X.
- What don't you get, Darcy?
The biggest weed dealer in the city
thinks we stole $20,000 worth of her best sativa ever.
And unless you have 20K, baby, we dead.
So we gon' drink to that.
- Hey, I have an idea, but it's not a good one.
[glasses clink]
- Wait right here.
- Yeah, we'll just wait right here, I guess.
- Whoa.
This is giving Richie Rich.
Who crib is this?
- A friend.
The GPS says that she's here.
- A friend you tracking?
Now, that's weird.
- For your information, people do it all the time with people
they love and trust.
- Well, it's giving stalkerish.
- OK, well, I wasn't asking for your opinion.
And just try not to embarrass me, OK?
Strip club.
God, my tongue feels fat.
Does your tongue feel fat?
- Girl, my tongue is good, thanks.
- Does it look fat to you?
- No. Go.
- Hello! - Too loud.
- Who are you?
- Hi.
Uh, you must be Meena's mom.
- Meena?
That sounds familiar. - Shut up.
- Ooh.
- Uh, I really didn't want us to meet like this.
I'm Darcy.
Meena's probably mentioned me before.
- No. - OK.
- My daughter's not here.
- Well, her GPS says otherwise.
- I said my daughter isn't here.
[footsteps tapping]
- Mom, could you please?
- [sighs]
[dramatic music]
- Just a ray of sunshine.
[scoffs]
Whoa. Uh-uh.
I ain't know y'all was swinging that way.
- D, my mom is, like, right there.
What's up with you? - I'm sorry.
I just--you look so pretty, and I
haven't talked to you all day, and I really like your hair.
- Stop.
You should have texted. - I did.
I've been texting you all day, so I used the tracking app.
- Tracking app? - Remember?
We downloaded it on our picnic so we always
know where the other is?
- What is wrong with you?
- That's exactly what I'm saying.
- I'm high. Who's this person?
- Hi. I'm Stella.
Your girlfriend is ruining my life.
- She's not my girlfriend, OK?
- What?
- I'm not looking for a relationship.
You know this.
- No, you've never said that.
When did you say that?
- You're making it awkward, Darcy.
- OK, can we just talk for a minute, please?
[hip-hop music]
- Look, my mom's waiting.
- Meena, I'm in trouble, OK?
And I was...thinking of... maybe--
- She need to borrow 20K.
- Shut your dumb face, OK?
What is wrong with you?
You don't just blurt something out like that.
I was working up to it.
- You think my mother's gon' give you $20,000?
She hates you.
- What?
No, moms love me.
- Darcy, you're great.
- Uh-oh.
- But you not my girl.
I don't know why you asking me for money.
- That's gonna replay in your head over and over again.
- You--you don't mean that.
You're just saying that because I showed up with this reject
asking for money, which is totally not cool,
and it's only happening because I'm being chased
by really bad-guy drug dealers who wanna kill me.
But that's neither here nor there,
and that's not your issue, that's on me,
so I'm sorry that I bothered you.
And, mm, please apologize to your mom for me.
- [mouths word]
- Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Nice crib, though.
♪ ♪
- Bad guys.
Drug dealers.
That's so hot!
[sighs]
[engine grinding] both: Lady Bug, start.
Start, Lady Bug.
- Oh, Lady Bug, live.
What's happening? - [chuckles]
- Girl, Lady Bug is dead.
- I don't get it.
I can always make Lady Bug smart--
start.
- [laughs] - Words.
[laughter]
Stupid. - Girl, RIP to Lady Bug.
Let's just pour up to the dead homeys.
Here you go. - Oh, I'm so thirsty. Hold on.
- Ooh.
Girl, we gotta make some moves.
Whatever you got going on over there, you better kill it,
'cause Tick Tock looking to kill our asses.
- [sighs]
Yeah, she can just put me out of my misery.
I don't know why I kissed Meena like that.
I don't--I don't do that.
Like, I'm not--I'm not that person.
I'm not, like--
I'm not, like, so-- I'm not, like, that confident
in myself to be able to put myself out there like that.
[funky music]
I feel really weird.
Hmm.
- So, ooh, I got a, um--
a confession to make.
OK, so the gummies you ate,
they were edibles.
So you super high.
- You drugged me.
[laughs]
- Technically, you stole a bear.
- Yeah, but then you gave me another one.
[laughs]
- So we gon' finger-point, or we gon' problem-solve?
- Wait, that's so crazy.
I thought, like, edibles were, like,
you know, know, like-- like, the brownies.
You know, like when they do in the movies?
They put all the shit in the brownies,
and then, like, a grandma comes in
and she eats 'em or some shit?
You know, I thought it was like that.
- Girl, no, ma'am.
Baby, you have no idea about weed.
- No. - Those are pot gummies.
They look and they taste like candy.
You high.
- Wow, I was duped by deceptive marketing.
- [laughs]
- I like that word, "deceptive."
[laughs] - OK, so new plan.
We gon' call an Uber.
We gon' wait. We gon' chill.
We gon' smoke this joint to get all that paranoia
and freaky energy out of your system.
- Wow.
Marijuana does that?
- Mm-hmm.
Pink Hashmeena is magical.
Here go the Pink.
[Jamiroquai's "Cosmic Girl"]
- [coughing]
- That a girl.
- ♪ I must have died and gone to heaven ♪
♪ 'Cause it was quarter past 11:00 ♪
♪ On a Saturday in 1999 ♪
♪ Right across from where I'm standing ♪
♪ On the dance floor she was landing ♪
♪ It was clear that she was from another time ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ She's just a cosmic girl, oh, yeah ♪
♪ From another galaxy ♪
- Oh, I feel so good!
Oh, you do this all the time?
No wonder why you're so lazy.
I would never get anything done.
- I mean, you are insulting me, but I don't care.
- Hey, you're not annoying me.
- Same! - [squeals]
- This is the first time I didn't wanna
punch you in your face since we met,
and you just called me lazy.
- Well, hey, I'm about to give you a compliment.
You have such good taste in music.
- I know, right?
Now I'm gonna throw that compliment right back at you.
Your so-called little girlfriend, she's cute.
And with that little pink outfit she had on,
I did not like it, but she's still cute, though.
- Yeah, she is a fox.
And I do hate that pink outfit as well.
And she did dump me, but I feel great,
and I never feel great.
- Yeah.
Well, that's the power of the Pink, baby.
- ♪ When I see her pretty face ♪
[engine rumbling]
♪ She's just a cosmic girl ♪
- Ooh.
You got the fancy Uber, huh?
[laughs]
- Oh, shoot. That's Tick Tock.
- Tick Tock drives for Uber?
- She don't drive for Uber. We dead.
- Oh, hi, sir. - Oh, shoot.
- Shut up. - Can I--ah! Wait!
No! - Tick Tock, Tick Tock.
- Get out of there. - I'm being dragged!
- Tick Tock, how you found us?
- Please, sir, no! - I know you saw me call you.
- No, not the trunk! - You got me.
- I hate the trunk! I hate small spaces!
Please, I'll pee myself!
Oh, that's not that bad.
I can sit in this one.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- [softly] I think she's gonna shoot me.
- I can hear you.
- [whispering] I think she can hear me.
- Y'all might be the dumbest potheads ever,
and that's really saying something.
But killing folks that piss me off,
that's the old me.
I'm working on myself.
- I'm working on myself too.
One day at a time, girlfriend.
- I've gone a week without hitting anyone,
but you about to make me break my streak right now.
♪ ♪
- But what--but what about Leila?
- She ain't even hit that girl.
She scared her into jumping, but that's different.
- Y'all don't even know.
Tick Tock was crazy before she got all Zen.
Y'all would be so dead right now.
[smack]
- Happy? Now back at zero.
That should have been you.
- Ooh.
OK, c-can I offer you
the healing power of THC?
It's very relaxing and good for anger issues.
I got gummies.
- Gummy worms? - Gummy bears.
- Fine. You lucky it's red.
♪ ♪
- [whispering] I think we should make a run for it.
- [whispering] Yeah, I can't feel my legs,
so I'm gonna have to pass on the escape.
♪ ♪
- We good, right there.
♪ ♪
Junebug and Cameo, hurry up and get 'em out.
- [screams] - What you screamin' for?
- Move faster. - [screams]
OK. [screams]
Oh, my God.
Oh, oh.
Oh, God. This is like-- - Hey, I like your braids.
- This is exactly where they take somebody
to kill them in a movie.
- Today feels like a movie.
- And we're the stars.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
- How stoned are you guys?
- I mean, pretty stoned.
- What are y'all even looking at?
- Run! - [shrieks] Oh, my God!
- Get 'em, idiots!
Go!
Stupidest.
♪ ♪
- And cut.
- [screams] - Come on, Darcy.
Come on. - Ah!
- Come on.
- Why would you do that?
Me, then you.
I thought me was me, man. - I thought me was me.
- Come on, man. Mo--
- I swear y'all the stupidest.
- Tick Tock, he acting crazy.
Try to get--see, every time.
You're too big. - I'm too--
- No, I gotta lift here and you don't.
- I'm too big?
- You think they playing about they money?
- Who?
[both breathing heavily] - Oh, my God.
- Ooh. - Did that really just happen,
or am I just really, really high?
- Both.
What day is it? - 4/20.
Are you that stoned?
- Not the date, the day.
- Saturday.
[A Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario"]
- I know where to go.
Let's go. - OK.
- ♪ Here we go, yo ♪
- Oh, God, those heels.
- ♪ So what, so what, so what's the scenario ♪
- Perfect place to hide out.
- OK, what do dinosaurs have to do with roller-skating?
And how does this stop us from being dead?
- Girl, dinos are cool.
Skating is cool.
And on a Saturday, they play some dope music.
Hey.
- Wow, that is such good news because, you know,
my biggest concern on this whole thing
was absolutely the soundtrack.
But you know what? Sick tracks? Great.
- Hey.
- What's up, everybody?
It's your master of ceremonies.
And I wanna welcome you to Dino Skate Saturdays.
I see we got Stella in the house.
I see you, Stella.
- Whoo!
- DJ B is lit tonight. Let's go.
- You know the DJ?
- Of course I know the DJ.
- Wow, that's really cool.
Yeah, but I still don't think that this is
the best time to be skating.
- Darcy, it's our cover, girl.
Tick Tock would never think we'd
be crazy enough to be skating.
Duh.
Ooh, ooh.
- [shrieks, cries]
- Man, why we gotta sit here and do this?
This is killing me, man.
- My thing, she don't even rent us states.
- She don't rent us-- we don't wanna skate.
- Oh, yeah, we don't.
- I don't wanna kill neither, man.
- What do you wanna do, then, if you don't wanna do this?
- Boy, I been trying to rap.
- Nah, let me hear something.
- Like, off the dome or something I wrote?
'Cause I got both.
- Just hit me with something, man.
Come on, Cameo. - Hey.
♪ Ripping on any beat, that's an adaption ♪
♪ Of running out of breath or bringing it back in ♪
♪ Need my money up front, don't deal with the back end ♪
♪ Your pockets on a diet, boy, I'm calling you Atkins. ♪
Yeah. [chuckles]
- Nah, that ain't it. - Listen, man.
- Hey, Tick Tock. [laughs nervously]
You found us again. - Duh.
You know, I asked myself, where would I go if I
was stoned out of my brain?
I mean, they got the best music on Saturdays, right?
I love it, coming here.
- You so good on them skates.
- Thank you.
Dr. Bob said I should do something like a hobby
to channel my inner anger.
Turns out, I'm pretty good on these wheels.
- Darcy, please don't do that freaky shit.
Oh. - I choose to remain calm.
I have a--I have a very bright future.
But I'm not gonna have a very bright future
'cause I'm gonna die at Dino Skate.
Oh, oh! - Oh!
- [screams]
- Oh! Go with it, girl.
You're OK.
Just a little high is all.
- [screams]
- Damn! Why she so loud?
- [sighs]
- See, normally, I'd bust in her head.
- Ooh.
- But I'm working on myself.
This is my safe space.
- Safe space?
- Yo! Bust her in the head.
- Come on, man. - Oh, yeah, yeah, you right.
You right. - Get that.
- [whimpering]
- Hey, you wanna see me do a twirl?
- Hell yeah!
Hey! - [laughs]
- That's really cool, Tick Tock.
- Shut up.
- ♪ What you about, kid ♪
♪ Fly like a falcon ♪
♪ Where you get your outfit ♪
♪ Get like me ♪
♪ Got your whip murked ♪
♪ With the tints dark ♪
♪ Two spots when you park ♪
♪ Get like me ♪
- Boss wants to talk to y'all.
- I'm Madame X,
and you have something that belongs to me.
- [grunting]
Ow.
- Tick Tock!
Are you roller-skating again?
- Uh, yeah, 'cause, you know, Dr. Bob said it was
good for me to work on my--
- I don't care!
Get her up.
- Darcy, get up. - OK.
- Where's my product?
Speak!
- OK, I flushed it by accident, and it was a total mistake.
I don't know anything about drugs.
[overlapping speech]
- Yo, shut up!
- Madame X, please, I know we messed up.
Let's make it right.
- Hmm.
The Pink Hashmeena or the 20,000,
by midnight.
If you're light, I'll kill you.
If you're late, I'll kill you.
Are we clear?
- That means she's done with you.
- OK. Excuse me.
Oh, God.
- Darcy, come on. - I can't skate.
- It's Dino Skate.
You can't be acting like you can't skate.
- So what do you think?
- They're lying.
No one's that stupid.
Go to her house and check under her bed.
First we get the Pink,
and then we'll deal with them later.
- Why y'all in my face?
- We ain't got no skates.
♪ ♪
- We need a plan.
- Agreed.
Step one, pooh!
[chuckles]
- I'm getting a peek into your whole life:
drama, and then, hey, let's smoke a doobie.
- This is how I come up with a plan.
And, girl, ain't nobody say no doobie.
- Oh, excuse me, OK?
I'm so lame.
You know, I'm sorry that I don't know all the ways
of a pathetic pothead.
Please teach me.
- Hey, I got dreams.
I got goals.
- [laughs] OK, what are they?
What are your dreams?
- Not that it's any of your business,
but I'd like to open up a weed shop,
a legal one in Cali.
It'd be so cool.
People'd come and hang out, smoke,
drink some coffee, you know?
Go ahead and make fun of it.
I know you want to.
- No, I'm actually impressed.
It's way better than mine.
I just wanted to make manager.
- Ew!
At our job you got fired from?
- Don't "ew" me.
I was nice about your dream.
- Yeah, mine makes sense.
Yours is depressing.
- It is depressing.
- Look, Darcy, there are times to be straight,
and there are times to be high.
This is the latter.
- Can I have some?
♪ ♪
- Here.
- Maybe we can go get some more.
[upbeat music]
- That's it, Darcy.
I got a plan.
♪ ♪
- Boo-yah.
[man grunting]
- No, don't put that in there.
No, don't put that in there.
No. Oh, that's so big! That's so big!
[laughs]
That was so good.
OK, so we're just barging in now?
Why does everyone feel so comfortable
just coming into my house?
OK, you mean business.
Hi. How's it going?
- This where Stella lives?
- You know what? Everyone is asking that today.
And the answer, uh, is yes.
But the question no one's asking is,
is Stella a good roommate?
And the answer is... no, not really.
Hi, I'm Blaize with an I. Who are you?
- Blaize with an I, she took something
that doesn't belong to her.
And you, you gon' help me find it.
- Well, as much as I would love to invade my roommate's
privacy, and I would love to do that,
I don't think I will be doing that today, Little Miss Thing.
So if you could please find your way to the exit,
I would greatly appreciate tha-a-at.
- Take me to her room before I kill you.
- OK, first one on the left.
- Well, it's been super neat wrecking
my own house while you stand there
not lifting a finger to help.
But are we done here?
- We're not done until I find what she stole.
- OK, well, I am not stoned enough for this.
Ow! Ah!
- I been doing so good, working the steps,
doing my skating, but you are making it hard not to hurt.
Now, tell me, where would she keep my product?
- Ah!
She only goes three places--ah!
One, here; two, her stupid job;
and three, the weed man!
The weed man!
- Great.
Let's go see the weed man.
- Yeah, let's go see the weed man.
[hip-hop music]
- OK, we're gonna figure this out.
OK, yeah, we need supplies.
Come on. - Supplies for what?
Are we gonna get Madame X an "I love Atlanta" T-shirt?
- Darcy, come on.
♪ ♪
- [laughs]
My first stakeout.
[laughs]
Surprisingly not fun. [chuckles]
We're just gonna sit here or what?
Oh!
Come on.
- You said this is where she gets her product from.
Now, she's got a pound of the best weed in Atlanta,
and I bet she's trying to sell it.
- Brother man, uh, let me get some of that
Pink Hashmeena, my boy. - Illegal.
This Atlanta, man. We don't sell weed.
- I know for a fact you do.
They told me to come in here and look
for a light-skinned brother with an orange shirt,
and, uh, you the only one.
- Yeah, this Atlanta, man. We sell Delta-8--
- Listen, I don't even fly Delta, my boy.
I be in the sky, though.
High as a kite. Pink Hashmeena.
- I got something for every ailment.
Just tell me how you wanna feel.
- I wanna be out my mind, J. Cole, so please,
can you go back there and get me my Pink Hashmeena?
- Look, Stella is not really the entrepreneur that you
seem to think that she is.
She's probably just, like, stocking up
or trying to talk to her boo thing
or whatever in there, OK?
Not that big a deal.
[knuckles cracking]
Oh! Ow!
Ah!
Ow, come on!
Ah! I just got an eyelash replacement.
Do you know how crazy that is?
Oh, my God, there she is. [gasps]
It's Stella. There she is.
[gasps]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's get it, Darcy.
[funky music]
Time to get into character.
- Say hello to my little friends.
♪ ♪
- Pink Hashmeena-- - Everybody freeze!
- Oh, my Lord. - [yelps]
- Well, this is new.
- Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
- Sis, you're actually getting good at this.
Period.
- What's with the water guns?
- Hey, freeze your mouth, pretty boy.
- These water guns are filled up with frog poison.
- Mm-hmm.
- What's frog poison?
- You know them frogs you lick and you get all trippy?
- See, that's what I wanna be.
I wanna be like them.
Whatever mind frame they in,
this what I need in my life, right here, all that.
- And it's toxic.
- Yeah, you get a--a really bad skin reaction.
- Yeah. Two words: Pink Hashmeena in my hand.
- Well, actually, that's more than two words.
- Oh, he's a smart guy.
Well--well, let's see how smart you are
when you're having a bad trip and a nasty skin reaction.
- Uh, yeah, Pink Hashmeena is extremely rare,
very potent, and highly illegal.
- We know you got it, gorgeous, so slide on in that back
and give it to us.
- Stella?
What-- Stella, is that you?
- Look like Pretty Vee to me, but I guess.
- We're robbing someone you know?
- Sure, Stella come in here all the time.
I mean, these are terrible disguises.
- Wait.
Are you edibles guy?
- [chuckles] I got a nickname.
That's cool, that's cool.
Yeah, nah.
Yeah, no, Stella come in here once a week
to deliver Pink Hashmeena, except for yesterday
when she didn't show up.
- You mean to tell me that we are
robbing the place that sells Pink Hashmeena for Madame X?
- The only place in Atlanta that got it.
- You been having Pink Hashmeena this whole time
and I could have been gone?
My kids in the car.
- We getting robbed right now.
- You getting robbed right now. - No, we getting robbed.
- We getting robbed?
[scoffs] You getting robbed.
[clicks tongue] Uh-huh.
And we robbing you for Pink Hashmeena.
Ladies.
- [laughs nervously]
Everybody calm down.
Ladies, we could go fix this in my office,
if y'all could just put your-- your--your water guns down.
- Yeah, please. Come on, boy.
Get the Pink Hashmeena. Ladies, get it all up.
Make sure you grab everything.
- Boss, you want me to call this in?
- No, Carl, you late.
- Carl, you super late. - What? I was--
- No, no, no, Carl Winslow, you are late, man.
Come on, man.
Rule number one, when somebody come in here
and rob the place, what do you do?
Grab your gun.
You ain't got no gun.
Brother, you got a vest for nothing.
- So you guys are here to rob Madame X to pay back Madame X?
Y'all know how stupid that plan was, right?
- I do.
Yes, I said it, literally those exact words,
when we got the water guns.
- Look, we desperate and we running out of time.
You gon' help us or what?
And don't call the cops.
- OK, I'll loan you guys a pound of Pink Hashmeena.
- So you're just gonna give us the Pink Hashmeena?
- I'm gonna loan it to you.
You gonna have to pay me back.
This is some expensive weed.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- And what we gotta do for it?
- How about we go on a date?
- [scoffs] Me and you?
- Or you and me.
- Excuse me, sir, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She is a woman, OK?
You cannot just tradesies with her and some weed and--
- Darcy, shut up.
Deal.
And you better bring me somewhere nice,
with tablecloths.
- OK. - With tablecloths?
- I'll see you at the party.
- [sighs]
- Oh, yeah, Carl called the cops,
so y'all might wanna get out of here.
- Uh-uh. I know this may be reaching,
but can we get some pre-rolls for the road?
- And gummies!
- This is not fate.
This is not a coincidence.
This, this is the 420 gods looking down fondly upon us.
[siren wailing] OK, cops, cops, cops.
Oh, lay down.
What the hell? OK.
- Carl, you're a great guy, man.
I don't think you should be security or nothing.
- Mm-hmm. - But do you know
where they keep the Pink Hashmeena?
- Move! Where'd the girls go?
[reggae music]
- You stay right here.
- You--you--you too, Carl.
You ain't got no gun.
♪ ♪
- We're fleeing a crime scene.
- Why would you announce that?
- I need a sports bra.
- So I'll call you?
- Text me!
♪ ♪
- Gotta give the girls they flowers.
- Come on, Darcy.
[both breathing heavily]
- [gasps] It's Stella!
Hey, Stella!
Hey!
- She's got the Pink!
- Hi! - I'ma kill you!
♪ ♪
- We'll find it, OK? OK.
- Where are you going? - There they go! There they go!
- No. Hold on.
Seat belts. - Are you kidding me?
- Safety first.
- I told this man, but I know one thing.
[chuckles] They gone.
♪ ♪
Mm.
Ain't stealing.
Don't nobody know you stealing.
- Come on, they went that way. - Right there!
- They went that way. We can get them on foot.
- No, no! We'll take the car. The car's right here.
It makes more sense. - Oh, we can take the car.
Come on. - Yeah.
Whoa!
♪ ♪
- [chuckles]
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
Alexa!
Play "Brotha I'm Gone."
[laughs]
[both screaming]
[siren wailing]
- Come on!
[screams]
♪ ♪
My tits, my tits, my tits.
[screams]
♪ ♪
- Run for the park.
They'll never look for us there.
[siren wailing]
- Darcy, run! - Oh, God!
- Halt, criminals!
- What are we doing?
- Come on, Darcy.
You'll see.
- If there's anyone who objects to this union,
speak now or forever hold your peace.
- I object.
[people gasp]
- People only object in the movies.
- Shh.
The groom is sleeping with her.
[people gasp] - Tea!
- No! - She's lying.
- And I think she pregnant.
- Spill it!
[people gasp]
- What? [growls]
- [gasps] - [shrieks]
[crying]
- She just got him. Oh.
Oh, oh, excuse me.
Sorry. Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry.
Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. - Ooh, I like that dress.
Ooh, your dress cute.
- You?
- Oh, my gosh, it's bridezilla with the smoky eye shadow.
- [screams]
- [grunts]
- Oh, hell nah.
- [screams]
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Oh, my God. - [wailing]
- Well, you don't see this every day.
- Everybody freeze!
- Yeah. - We should go.
- OK.
You--you--you got freaked up.
- Everybody freeze!
Stella!
[both breathing heavily]
- Babylon! Run!
- What's Babylon?
- Freeze! Freeze! Freeze! - No reason to yell!
- I said freeze! - Don't yell!
- They went that way. - Hey.
- They went that way.
- How do you know?
The grass is too high.
I'm really itchy.
I think I got Lyme disease.
- I just think you ashy. Come on.
- I'm not ashy.
- You're totally ashy.
- I put lotion on every morning at 6:00 a.m.
I'm not ashy.
- OK, look, this what we gonna do.
We gon' bury the Pink, we gon' wait
till the cops leave, we gon' come back, dig that weed up,
and get the hell out.
- That is a fire plan.
Where was this strategic mind before?
- Girl, don't sleep on me.
Girl, you know I got my moments.
Boom! You see that, Darcy?
Ain't nobody gonna notice these trees.
[laughs]
- I mean, the camouflage is impeccable.
You did it in such, like, an artistic way.
Like, it's there, but it's hidden.
- Yeah!
Ain't nobody gon' find that.
Shit, let's go.
- OK.
- ♪ You can't deny it ♪
♪ You can't stop crying ♪
- Remember when we used to be hotties with the bodies?
- Ah-ah! Why y'all running?
- The police are chasing us.
- The po-po?
[laughs]
- Why?
- We stole some weed.
- We can help you out.
- We sure can.
Oh, put them clothes on over there.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
Just take it.
- They're so pretty. - So pretty.
- They remind me of us.
- They do? - Before we look like this.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Anyways.
- I hope them kids is all right, though.
- Ah, they'll be fine.
- They'll be fine.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Bag lady, you gon' miss your bus ♪
- You two see a couple young ladies running through here?
- [with deep voice] Uh, I think they went over yonder
somewhere over there.
- [with deep voice] Yeah, curves in all the right places.
You know what I mean?
- Bet your ass I do.
Let's roll out. - We're not in the car.
We can only say "roll out" when we're in the car.
- No, it doesn't matter if we're in a car.
- But logically, with no wheels,
how can we roll?
- I can't believe that worked. They're so stupid.
- I told you.
OK, let's go dig up the Pink.
- Ooh, yes.
- Food. I can eat.
Let's go.
- What?
Ugh, the tracks lead to right here.
They stop.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[sniffs] Wait, do you smell that?
[sniffs]
It smells like... anger and sexual tension.
They definitely still have the Pink.
- Shut up.
Wait, you can tell that?
- Yes.
[laughs] I'm just messing with you, OK?
I'm trying to make this fun.
Trying to make this weird, kooky, whatever.
Get along with this.
I'm sorry.
[smack] [groans]
[body thuds]
[tense music]
- Halt.
[laughs]
Got you, perp.
[laughter]
- I didn't even do nothing.
- Oh, man.
You know who this is, Steve?
This the chick who threw the lady in the Throw-N-Shade.
- Oh, shoot!
It is her.
I love the Throw-N-Shade.
They make the best sunglasses.
- Girl, why do you do that to that Throw-N-Shade?
- Just go to your happy place.
[harp glissando]
Your happy place. [crowd cheering]
- ♪ I got that magic, magic ♪
♪ And I'm a supernatural, special kind of woman ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ And if you know me ♪
- You're busted!
[laughs] That's right.
- [growls] - OK.
- [barks] I got some dog in me too.
We could be friends if you weren't a criminal.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
[ethereal music]
♪ ♪
- It's so...
beautiful.
♪ ♪
[light music]
- I'm gonna do the Mexsoul salad.
- All right. And for you, my love?
- I'll get the Blasian.
- OK. [bell dings]
- Here's your salad. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- And your Blasian. - Thank you.
- Enjoy. You're welcome.
- Mmm.
- Oh, this looks so good.
- Tasty.
Mmm, mmm.
This is so good. - Mm-hmm.
Why does it taste so good?
- Girl, this is one of the many benefits of marijuana.
The food is tastier. The sex--
- No, don't mention sex. I'll spiral.
Think my high is wearing off.
♪ ♪
Um, you think we should drop off
the Pink before we celebrate?
- Darcy, relax.
We in the clear.
We know where the Pink Hashmeena's at.
We could dig it up.
We good, sis.
- OK.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
Try it.
- See? - [coughs]
♪ ♪
This is so effin' sweet.
Oh, hey, I like your tights, by the way.
- What you supposed to be?
- Uh, a corn dog, obviously.
And you're Peter Pan, which is perfect
because you refuse to grow up.
- Yeah, and you always have a stick up your ass.
- I have never felt this good my entire life.
But I feel like we're forgetting something.
What were we talking about before?
- We're gonna go where we buried the Pink,
deliver it to Madame X.
She ain't gon' kill us.
- My favorite aspect of the plan.
- Yes, and then we gon' turn up.
- You're gonna turn up.
I'm gonna go home, change, and try
to salvage my relationship.
- Girl, what you talking about?
You coming to the party with me.
Bring your so-called girlfriend.
- Wait, are you inviting me?
Aw, that's so sweet.
What? What's wrong?
Stella, where's the Pink?
- It's gone, Darcy.
What the hell? - What is wrong with people?
We live in a society. - Who did this?
- People are just digging up holes and stealing our pot.
Come on! [screams]
- Again?
- Cleansing breath.
- Darcy, it's gone.
- [exhales heavily]
- Ain't nothing down there no more.
Darcy, we dead.
We dead.
Oh, shit.
I'm about to go get ready for the party, then.
- The party?
You're still gonna go to the party?
- Hell yeah.
[Queen Latifah's "Ladies First"]
- Wait, well, don't leave me.
♪ ♪
♪ The ladies will kick it, the rhyme that is wicked ♪
♪ Those that don't know how to be pros ♪
- Ooh! So cute.
- Very nice.
- ♪ Can you relate to ♪
♪ A sister dope enough ♪
- Cute? - Cute.
Let's go get sexy!
- ♪ I think I'm about due ♪
♪ To get into precisely what I am about to do ♪
♪ I'm conversating to the folks ♪
♪ Who have no whatsoever clue ♪
♪ So listen very carefully ♪
- Ah! You look so hot.
Yes! Ooh, back.
- Ooh, the player.
You look cute, girl. Spin around.
Do a little spin for me.
Ooh, OK. - [laughs]
♪ ♪
Stella, I don't think I have any money.
- Neither do I.
- ♪ 'Cause when it's time for loving ♪
♪ It's the woman that gets some ♪
both: Foxy.
- From the strip club?
- Yeah.
Ugh.
I got lost.
- Ooh, Darcy, we gotta run.
- What? Wait.
No, I've never stolen anything before.
- Shoplifter! Shoplifter, shoplifters!
Shoplifters, we got shoplifters.
♪ ♪
Shoplifters.
- Man, this job don't pay enough, for real.
- Hell no. And no benefits.
- Benefits?
I ain't been to the dentist since the '90s.
Like, I want some of them big veneers
everybody else be wearing.
- The "Love & Hip Hop" teeth?
- Yeah!
- Nah, you can't close your mouth right now.
How you gonna do that?
- I ain't think about that.
- Yeah, man. Don't do that.
But guess who gonna be burying them two potheads tomorrow.
- You know it. - You.
- "Junebug, dig this hole." - Every time.
- "Junebug, shoot those two chicks."
- Crazy. - It's never,
"You know what, Junebug?
"You been doing a good job.
Keep up the good work, Junebug."
I never hear none of that, man.
That's why I wanna start doing something
that show my personality.
Like, I got dreams, bigger than this.
Your boy wanna be a comedian.
- From killing to comedy?
- Yeah!
- That's a big-- - That's an easy transition.
- That's a big jump, though.
That's two total different ends of the spectrum.
- I'm what the game been missing, though.
- Listen.
[light music]
- [grunts]
♪ ♪
[Miguel's "Sure Thing"]
- ♪ Love you like a brother ♪
♪ Treat you like a friend ♪
- [sighs] OK. [camera shutter clicks]
Oh, did you even put money in it?
- I did not. - OK, just go with it.
- Mm.
[camera shutter clicks]
- So I really love the pretty dress
that you made me steal. - It's cute.
- Thanks. And I know that we're baked.
What, what?
Um, but aren't you, like, actively and weirdly ignoring
the threat to our lives?
- Darcy, be cool.
I don't like buzzkillers, OK?
We don't do those, OK? Let's take some more photos.
- OK. - [chuckles]
- Sorry, it just kind of seems like how you were
ignoring work earlier today.
- Um, I'm ignoring it all.
And I'm also ignoring the fact that this
is all your fault, Darcy.
- OK, again, I said that I was sorry.
All right, fine, yeah,
if you just wanna keep running and hiding
from your problems, go ahead.
- [sighs] Better than choking every time
the game is on the line.
[coughing] Choke.
- You know what?
Screw you, OK?
And good luck with your dispensary in California
because you'll never do it.
You wanna know why?
Because you're a coward.
That's why you avoid all of your responsibilities
and just get stoned all day.
If you never try, you never fail.
Truth bomb.
I'm right, right?
OK, go have fun at your party.
Watch out for all the murderers!
- ♪ Talk with me, babe ♪
- [sighs]
- ♪ Even when the sky comes fallin' ♪
♪ Even when the sun don't shine ♪
♪ I got faith in you and I ♪
♪ So put your pretty little hand in mine ♪
[phone chimes]
- ♪ 'Cause this love is a sure thing, yeah ♪
♪ Love you like a brother
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
- ♪ I've gotta rise up working, young man ♪
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
♪ I've gotta toil to make my name ♪
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
♪ If you see me ♪
all: Stella!
[indistinct chatter]
- Well, welcome to the party.
- Hey. - Hey, you look nice.
- Thank you, Bridger. - [chuckles]
- ♪ Oh, Lord ♪
♪ Now, this work, oh, this work is so hard ♪
- I wasn't expecting to get your text.
- Ever since this afternoon, I been
thinking about you stealing from them bad-guy drug dealers.
- Mm. - Is that even still happening?
- Yeah, and it's way worse now.
The drug kingpin wants to kill us.
I mean, well, it's actually a queenpin, so...
♪ ♪
- How was your police chase?
- Not bad.
I lost my dignity, my ability to save my life.
I lost my favorite pair of lashes.
You know I love a C-curl.
And I lost the weed.
- The Pink Hashmeena?
That I just gave you, like, three hours ago?
- Bridger, don't worry.
Our date is still on.
- Yeah, but I thought I was giving
that to you to save your life.
- You loaned it to me.
I'll make it work.
I'll figure out a way to pay you back...
[sighs] If I survive tonight.
- Damn, that got dark.
- And still, you tried to save my life.
♪ ♪
Why did you do that?
- I told you why.
♪ ♪
- I just never seen you as dangerous.
- Well, it's--it's not a side that I really like to show,
you know, like me running from the cops earlier.
- The cops?
You're so bad.
[Jhené Aiko's "Sativa"]
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
- So you wanna distract me from my problems?
- Sounds good.
- ♪ Why you make it so complicated ♪
♪ Off the drink, we concentrating ♪
♪ I know you won't leave me hanging ♪
♪ Smoking weed out the container ♪
- ♪ Is it hot in here, or is it just me ♪
♪ I'm so high in here, been smoking on this weed ♪
♪ Told 'em go on, take a shot on three ♪
♪ Told 'em drinks is on me ♪
♪ Yeah, concentrating ♪
♪ Concentrating on the way ♪
♪ You keep the rhythm ♪
♪ Oh, my God, I'm glad you came ♪
[horn honks] - There's Blaize!
[reggae music]
♪ ♪
And that's my Pink!
- Don't worry, everyone.
Royalty has arrived.
- Darcy, where you going?
♪ ♪
- No!
- Happy 4/20, everyone!
[people cheering] [laughs]
Whoo-whoo!
What is up, queers?
I've got something.
Gather round. Gather round.
all: Ooh.
- [giggles] Ooh.
That's exactly what I needed.
You are a problem.
[mellow R&B music]
♪ ♪
- Blaize!
- [gasps] Ugly.
Sorry, that was just, like, a natural reaction.
- [laughs sarcastically] You're so funny.
Where did you find that box?
- First of all, I don't appreciate your tone.
As you can see, I'm a person of some import
within this community, and I am not accustomed to being
spoken to in such manner.
- I'm gonna ask one more time.
Where did you get that box?
- Wow, you're, like, the toughest
little animal I've ever seen.
[mockingly] "Where did you find it? where did you find it?"
I found it buried, like a treasure.
Duh.
- Well, it belongs to me and Stella!
- Possession is 9/10 of the law,
which means finders keepers, losers weepers,
so, shoo, goodbye.
Look, my life has been a living nightmare
ever since you knocked on my door this morning.
I was kidnapped by a woman who is not kind.
I was thrown off a wall that was too tall.
I was chased by police officers who were not hot.
[people gasps]
- Well, I'm about to make your life a whole lot worse.
Give me that box, or catch these hands.
- [laughs]
- You hear that noise?
Who is that?
♪ ♪
- OK, go off, knockoff Selena Gomez.
Catch these hands? Yeah, right.
[laughs]
[ska music]
Oh!
Stella, thank God.
Can you please get your little coworker out of here?
She's creating a commotion.
- Darcy, what are you doing here?
- Blaize has the Pink!
- Blaize, that's mine!
- OK, well, I don't care.
I will not be giving it to you.
I will not be giving it to her.
I will not be giving it to anyone,
Sam-I-Am! - Shut up.
Give me the box. - Get away from me.
Move, move.
- [screaming]
- No, get away! Get off of me, you chipmunk!
Ow! My neck!
My freaking neck! You're biting me!
- Whoo!
Hit them, baby!
I'm ready for a commitment.
Let's go!
- [screams]
[people gasp]
♪ ♪
[people shouting]
- No! Jackals!
Who raised you?
- [with English accent] Well, well, well,
I can't believe you've done this.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[all grunt]
[groans]
[dramatic music]
- Oh, there goes our miracle.
- Darcy, we dead.
- You got that right.
- Ah! Oh, hey.
Look. [laughs nervously] Tick Tock's here.
- Tick Tock, you were packing a gat on us?
In front of all my friends?
In front of all these witnesses?
- Anybody see me?
You see me?
- Girl, I'm not even wearing my glasses.
- Shequida?
- I just lost my contacts.
- I've got a super short attention span.
- Seems like your friends aren't reliable sources.
- Uh, hi.
Excuse me.
I just see that you're obviously upset.
Uh, maybe we can work this out.
My name's Bridger.
- [screams] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Now, ladies, shall we?
♪ ♪
- I'm sorry.
Ooh.
♪ ♪
- Hey!
Edibles guy, wake up.
Come on, come on.
Let's go.
The bad guys took Darcy and Stella.
- You don't even know where they at.
- I always know where my baby is.
Tracking app.
Wham.
Let's go.
♪ ♪
You know what? You suck, Tick Tock.
When I was watching you roller-skate, I was thinking,
wow, how could someone this talented be such a dick?
- You just what everybody else says,
a sexy chick with anger issues who bit a guy's ear off.
- That's not who I am,
not deep down.
♪ ♪
Yeah, I bit a guy's ear off,
but he got another one.
Look, did you really mean what you said about my skating?
Like--like, it's a hobby, but I mean,
maybe there's a future there.
- I don't know. - Mm-mm.
♪ ♪
- Look, I gotta off you.
Bitch I work for crazy.
- [whimpers]
- Well, can we get high as hell before you shoot us?
- You got gummy worms? - I don't got gummy worms.
I got gummy bears.
- Yeah, when would we have gotten gummy worms, Tick Tock?
- I like the worms!
- Tick Tock. - Darcy, shh!
- Bring it down. - OK, OK.
♪ ♪
Ooh. - Thank you.
♪ ♪
- You scared?
[whimpering]
- This is literally out of a freaky horror movie!
Yes, I am scared, but there are times to be straight.
- And there's times to get high.
We gon' die, Darcy. - [sobs]
- Let's go.
It's not my decision.
- Yeah, I know y'all technically wasted
them edibles, though, 'cause they take about...
- Can you just give us a win, please?
- 35, 45 minutes to hit. - Can you give us a win?
Please just give us a win.
- You gon' die before it even kick in.
- OK, thank you for ruining this.
- 15 minutes. - Cameo!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Ooh.
Tick Tock, your gun cold.
Ow.
- Are those--
- Some kinky shit up in here.
[door slams]
- [chuckles]
So y'all thought it was cool to steal from Madame X?
- I don't think that. You think that?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No way. No. [laughs nervously]
You know, in fact, today
we spent all day trying to pay you back.
We even stole another pound of Pink, which turned out
to be yours, but then we hid it,
and it got stolen again, and then...
it was really popular at the 4/20 party.
- You think you helping?
- So let me get this straight.
On 4/20, my busiest shopping day,
the two of you thought it was cool
to steal from Madame X not one
but two pounds of my highest-priced item?
- I say we string them up by their underwear
and bleed 'em dry.
- What? Why?
- Well, I ain't wearing no bra.
Y'all can go on ahead and count me out.
- Really? - I left it at the party.
- What? Edibles guy? Ah! - Yep.
- I left my panties in Meena's car.
- I know that's right. - Wait, hold on.
What did you say?
- I left my panties in Meena's car.
- Kill both these bitches, starting with this one first.
- Why?
- I guess she ain't like you got no panties on.
♪ ♪
- [screams]
- Parkour, motherfuckers.
- Good night, potheads.
- Oh, Jesus.
Ooh, don't do it.
[gun cocking]
Don't do it. - Mom?
- Meena!
[clears throat]
Um, who are you?
I don't--I don't know who you are.
I don't have children.
My name is Madame X. I don't do kids.
- Ma, what are you wearing?
I know your ass, and that's exactly how it look.
- She do got a nice booty.
- I guess she got it from her mama, right?
- She sure did. - [scoffs]
- Mm.
I mean, she does.
- Et tu, Tick Tock?
Et tu?
And I will not let these two right here steal from me.
You will not steal my coins.
You will not steal my pot.
And you definitely won't steal my daughter.
♪ ♪
- Lord Jesus.
- Amen. - we still about to die.
- Parkour!
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
[all grunting]
[gunshot]
- Shit. - What are you doing?
[gunshots]
♪ ♪
- Give me this!
♪ ♪
No, bitch.
♪ ♪
- [screams]
I am your mother!
- Die, bitch!
- [growls]
♪ ♪
- Tick Tock, don't move.
[both breathing heavily]
How do you feel?
- I think I broke my ass.
- How could you?
- Ma, please, not right now.
- Everybody freeze!
♪ ♪
both: Parkour.
- You OK?
- Me?
You got shot. Are you OK?
- Yeah, nah, this guy says, uh, I'm still in shock.
- That looks nasty.
- Guess I gotta go.
- Bridge!
♪ ♪
Bridge.
Well, thanks for taking a bullet for me.
Damn, he fine.
- Did I do good, D?
- Sure, yeah, thanks.
Um, I'm really sorry about your mom.
- It's cool.
She got a good lawyer, she friends with the governor,
and we're super rich.
But maybe because of the drug-selling,
that tracks.
Anyway, I gotta go call that lawyer
and make sure they don't seize my shit.
Don't wanna lose the lifestyle.
But text me later.
Bye. Mwah.
Bye, girl.
♪ ♪
- Your girl is intense.
- Yeah, I think we moved a little too fast.
- Yeah.
- If you gonna handcuff me, could you
at least give me my plushies?
- Your what?
♪ ♪
- Junebug.
- Cameo!
- Get your hands off me.
- I just thought I'd never see you again.
- Yeah, whatever. What's up? You good?
- Yeah, man, she came out of nowhere like a ninja.
- Yeah, same thing happened to me upstairs.
- I was giving it to her. I just ran out of breath.
- It would take you to run out of breath.
- You seen Tick Tock now?
- Yeah, I think her and X got locked up, both of 'em.
- Well, let's get out of here.
Hey, let's go get something to eat.
You hungry? - No.
Why you hungry after you just got your ass whupped?
Go ahead.
- All right.
♪ ♪
- I'll be seeing y'all.
- Better don't drop the soap in there!
♪ ♪
Be cool, be cool, be cool.
♪ ♪
- I'm sorry! I don't do well with jail!
- Really, fool? That's your cool?
- I-- - You think we care about you?
- We don't.
- We been after Madame X this entire time.
- So you're not gonna arrest us?
- You ain't worth the paperwork.
- [laughs]
- Well, you shouldn't be arresting people
for weed anyway,
especially Black people.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Uh-huh.
[engine turning over]
- [sighs] Good, we lived.
- You smell that?
Come with me. - Oh.
[Saweetie's "Best Friend"]
- ♪ If you sideways ♪
♪ She'll straighten you if needed be ♪
♪ And she's so bad that I just can't ♪
♪ Take that [...] nowhere ♪
♪ She off her fifth shot ♪
♪ Said, mm-mm, don't go there ♪
- Da--Darcy.
- OK, I'm sorry.
[whispering] What are we looking for?
- [whispering] Some weed.
- [whispering] Oh!
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
- ♪ On my way, [...] ♪
- Pink Hashmeena.
- ♪ 'Cause we the baddest in the club ♪
♪ That's my best friend, she a real bad [...] ♪
♪ Got her own money ♪
♪ She don't need no [...] ♪
♪ On the dance floor ♪
♪ She had two, three drinks, now she twerking ♪
♪ She throw it out and come back in ♪
♪ That's my best friend ♪
- Darcy, Chill.
Just a second. I smell something.
- ♪ Best friend, damn, your wrist look like it's frozen ♪
♪ Uh-oh, girl, I think our booty growing ♪
♪ Uh-oh, [...] it up in the mirror ♪
♪ Hit them poses ♪ - ♪ Hit that pose ♪
- ♪ Best friend, you my mother[...] soul mate ♪
- Whoa.
Holy shit.
- Is that--
[ethereal music] - Pink Hashmeena.
- Hey, you can use this to start your dispensary.
- What do you think about partnering up?
- Wait, what? - Partners, Darcy.
I run the show; you do the math and all the other boring shit.
- Oh, my gosh, I love the boring shit.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, my gosh, that means so much.
Thanks.
- Girl, it's a perfect fit.
- You know, it's funny.
Less than 24 hours ago,
the only thing I hated more than weed was you.
[laughs]
- That's the power of the Pink.
Happy 4/20, Darcy.
- Oh, happy 4/20, Stella.
[upbeat music]
- California... both: Here we come!
♪ ♪