Downloaded from YTS.MX
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[melancholy instrumental music playing]
PARADISE HILLS & RIVERDALE SANTA FE, MEXICO
[thunder rumbling]
[indistinct chatter in Spanish]
[woman] The one in Córdoba was smaller.
[woman] Thank you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Thanks.
- I appreciate it. - [woman chuckles]
Congratulations, Pancho.
Who'd have thought a young man with such humble origins would get so far
and make general manager?
Cheers!
- Good luck in the new position. - Cheers. Cheers.
Thank you, Jaime.
I owe it all to you and the trust you put in me.
Ha! Nonsense! You earned it.
It's just a shame your family couldn't be here on such an important day.
I would've loved to have met them and congratulated them in person.
You might not remember, Jaime, but my parents passed away.
- And I'm an only child. - Ah.
My only family is my dear Mari and my beautiful children.
[chuckling]
You don't need anything else, my boy.
Your wife is one hot piece of ass.
- You hit the jackpot! - [laughs]
[laughing] Because thanks to her, you're losing your small-town ways.
Isn't that right, Mari? [guffaws]
[exhales]
- Thanks, Jaime. - [Jaime chuckles]
Dinner is served.
- Please take your seats. - Go ahead.
- Monsignor, please. - Yes, please.
- Go ahead. - Thank you.
[laughing]
- [Mari] Your napkin. - Sorry, honey.
Thank you.
Please enjoy. We hired an excellent caterer.
Try the foie gras, sir. And the ham from Jabugo is to die for.
[doorbell ringing]
[Jaime] Expecting someone?
- [door opening] - Selena--
- Are you expecting anyone? - No.
Sir, there are two gentlemen at the door asking for you.
They say they're relatives,
but they're very ugly and they stink.
I'm sure there must be some kind of mistake.
Jaime, excuse me for a moment while I sort this out.
- I'll be back. - It's probably the neighbors.
Look at this, Dad!
I figured the little bastard was shitting money
and that's why he forgot about us.
[Jaime] You know them?
You know these two mangy dirtbags?
Who? Them? No, no, I don't know them.
Listen up, amigos.
This is private property.
Now, if you don't get the fuck out right now,
I'll call my bodyguards to kick you out!
López probably sent them to ruin the party.
Listen up, you catrines!
The first person to move gets pumped full of lead!
I told you, Dad, no one calls them catrines anymore.
That was back in the day.
Today, like our president says,
these fuckers are either preppy fifís or conservatives.
To me, they're all the same scum that derailed the Revolution.
[Pancho] Dad! Grandpa!
This isn't the time.
Let me send my guests home, and we'll talk this through.
You and your guests can go to hell.
The only way they're leaving is on their backs, feet first!
Stop messing around!
[chuckling] Friends, friends...
let's not get caught up in all this intolerance and polarization
promoted by this populist government.
If it's money you want, I have plenty.
- I'll give you what you need. - [scoffs]
- Take your money... - [Jaime] Yes.
- ...roll it up... - Yes.
...and stick it up your ass.
Dad, please make Grandpa stop. I'm begging you.
You're going to ruin my life!
Ruin your life, Pancho?
Look how you've treated us, you ungrateful bastard.
The whole family made sacrifices so you could have a career,
and look how you've repaid us.
With 20 years of neglect and abandonment.
While here you are, living the high life at our expense.
All right, Rosendo, enough with the bullshit.
Take them to the back. Let's get this over with.
Yes, Dad. Come on, you bastard.
Let's go, blondie!
- You're staying here. - No. Ah!
- Come here, dear. - Pancho, come.
Come here.
- [Mari] No, no. Ah! - Come.
Come on, move it!
[Mari gasping] Lupita!
[grandfather] Against the wall.
No!
Face the firing squad.
Uh...
Dad, Grandpa, I know I've been ungrateful and a lousy son,
but I swear that from now on, things will be different.
What's mine is yours! And I will never abandon you again.
Too late, Pancho.
It's time for revolutionary justice to be served.
Now, the poor are first.
- Blindfold him, Rosendo. - Yes, Dad!
[Pancho] No. Please, no.
[sobbing] Please, Dad. I'm begging you.
- Think of my children. - [grunts]
You've always been so good to me.
- [sobs] - I'm sorry, Pancho.
You had the chance to help us and you did nothing.
It's time for you to pay for all your bullshit.
[sobs]
By the way, your mother and siblings send their love.
Thank you.
[continues sobbing]
- Ready, Rosendo? - Yes.
- Ready! - [Pancho] No...
- Aim! - [screaming]
Fire!
[screaming]
- Fran. Fran! - No!
- Pancho! - Ah!
[gasping breaths]
Another one of your nightmares?
Oh, Mari. Oh, Mari.
You have no idea how horrible it was.
Your family again?
[exhales] Yeah.
I've told you a thousand times,
- you need to see a therapist. - [groans]
This isn't normal.
Now let me get some sleep before your alarm goes off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could use some sleep myself,
I have a big day at the factory tomorrow.
[melancholy music playing]
[exhales shakily]
- Good morning, everyone. - Good morning, Daddy!
- Morning, sir. - Morning, Lupita!
I have meeting with Jaime. I'm running late.
- Can I make you anything, sir? - No, Lupita. Just a coffee to go.
How do I look?
A little tired, but super handsome.
Very handsome, Daddy!
Ah, thanks, princess.
Why do you keep wearing those shoes with that suit?
The black Ferragamos look so much better.
I don't have time to change, what can I say?
- [telephone ringing] - [Mari] Tuck in your shirt.
Hello.
Yes, this is the Reyes house.
Who?
Oh, one moment please.
Sir, it's for you. It's your father.
And Mr. Rosendo says that it's very important.
Tell him I've left for work and you don't know when I'll be back.
And Lupita, whatever you do, don't give him my cell phone number.
You got this.
Mr. Rosendo?
Mr. Pancho left for work, he's not sure when he'll be back.
I don't have his cell number.
Ah. Don't worry, I'll tell him for you.
Sure. Goodbye.
[phone beeps]
He needs to speak to you urgently.
Something happened to your grandfather. He wants you to call him back.
What great timing. Just what I needed.
Do you know what he wants?
He probably just wants money, but I can't deal with him today.
I would've liked to have talked to him.
[Pancho] Another time, champ.
- Bye, family. See you later. - Bye, Daddy!
- Have a nice day, sir. - [Pancho] Bye!
As I've been saying, this is all dirty
and this guy...
You missed a spot. How's the A-4?
- Very good. - Perfect.
How is this machine still out of order?
Why haven't you fixed it?
- Good on supplies? - [woman on PA] Mr. Reyes. Mr. Reyes.
- Your father is on hold on line 18. - [sighs]
- Mr. Reyes... - Come on.
Your father is on hold on extension 18.
Good morning. Raise your hand if you can hear me.
Thank you.
As you all know,
the economic situation for our country and our factory is dire.
Despite our efforts and sacrifices to stay ahead of the situation,
the only thing that has kept us afloat
has been Mr. Sanpaolo's enormous generosity.
Unfortunately, the situation has become unsustainable.
We only have two options to continue operations.
We either move the plant and its subsidiaries to Asia
or we opt for a drastic but necessary downsizing.
Appealing to your understanding
and solidarity to your colleagues,
please raise your hand if you volunteer for a severance package.
Very well, since no one wants to accept the company's generous offer,
I will be selecting those who will be laid off.
Alcántara, Tiburcio.
Bojórquez, Ignacio.
Cárdenas, Cuitláhuac.
[woman on PA] Mr. Reyes. Mr. Reyes.
You have another call from your father on line 16.
Damn it.
Mr. Reyes. Mr. Reyes.
You have another call from your father on line 16.
[all whistling, yelling]
- Everyone, please! - [catcalling continues]
Congratulations, Pancho.
Thanks to you, productivity is off the charts.
And profits are higher than ever!
Thank you, Jaime.
How many did you sack today?
Uh, another 40.
Honestly though, I don't think there's any more fat to trim.
There always is, Pancho.
Once the new machines from Germany get here,
we'll be able to cut another ten percent of those parasites.
Another 180 employees out on the street?
I hope the union doesn't threaten a strike.
Those commie troublemakers from the union can suck my dick!
Now that our populist president
keeps saying "the poor first,"
they're starting to think they can make demands.
[telephone ringing]
Yes?
[woman on phone] Mr. Sanpaolo, sorry to interrupt.
Mr. Reyes's secretary is here
and she needs to speak with him urgently.
Send her in.
[knocking on door]
Good afternoon, Jaime.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Mr. Reyes, your father has been calling all morning.
He needs to talk to you, it's a life-or-death emergency.
Don't worry, I know my dad. I'm sure it's nothing.
Uh, tell him I'm not here,
and next time I'm in a meeting with Mr. Sanpaolo,
don't interrupt me, please.
Certainly, sir.
Once again, I'm sorry to bother you.
You can come bother me whenever you want, gorgeous.
I can't promise not to spank you, though,
or maybe even bend you over my desk, doll.
[laughs]
[mouthing] Asshole.
- Are you tapping that ass, Pancho? - No.
Your secretary smoking hot,
and anyone can see she needs a good fuck.
No. No way. Especially not now
when you can get accused of sexual harassment over nothing.
[Jaime laughs]
That #MeToo bullshit and those anti-harassment policies
can suck my dick.
That's why I'm the boss, right?
- Of course. - Good.
What's with your family? I thought you were an orphan.
No. No, you must be mistaking me for someone else.
But I'm sure my father is just overreacting.
My family thinks I'm rich,
so they're always hitting me up for money.
Tell them to fuck off!
My broke relatives are the same.
Always remember what my father used to say,
"The further you are from the sun and your family, the better."
Now, what was I saying before that slutty secretary of yours came in?
Oh, yes.
I was saying I'm sick of this government,
and its Echeverría-era populism.
I might as well sell the plant to the gringos,
or move the entire operation to China or Singapore.
I'm thinking about it.
No, no, no, sir. Don't even joke about that.
How should I put this?
- I haven't paid off my mortgage yet. - [laughs]
Don't worry about that.
Despite your dubious social background,
you're one of us now.
If you keep up the good work, and learn English and Mandarin,
I might just promote you to general manager one day.
General manager?
- Are you serious? - Of course.
Take care of the warehouse and the Aguascalientes plant,
see if there are any more parasites we can exterminate!
- [laughs] - Of course, sir.
Excuse me.
[continues laughing]
[cell phone ringing]
What is it, Lupita?
My father again?
If he calls again, tell him you couldn't find me.
Yes, just tell him that. And let Mari know I'm on my way.
When she gets home then.
Bye! Bye, bye.
Good afternoon, Mr. Reyes. We wanted to talk about the layoffs.
Cirilo, I'm sorry, I have an important meeting.
Let's talk another time. Sorry, excuse me.
Social climber, new-money.
He won't forget us, though. Am I right?
[all] Yes!
ASSHOLE
Jealous fuckers. No wonder this country is going to shit.
[engine starts]
[honks horn]
Up yours!
PARADISE HILLS WHERE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
[gentle harmonica music playing]
- Family, I'm home. - [Mari] Oh, Fran.
I'm so glad you're home, I'm losing my mind.
- What's wrong? - Your dad keeps calling, I've had enough.
Did he say what he wants?
Something about your grandpa but he wants to tell you himself.
A new dress again, darling?
It's for Paloma's wedding.
Saks had a sale, I couldn't resist.
I got you a tie,
and some gold Montblanc cuff links that are to die for.
Do you like it? It's Dolce.
- No, it's very nice. Very nice. - Right?
You have to stop, our credit cards are maxed out.
Yes, I know.
- Where are the kids? - Toni! Cati!
Come say hi to your dad.
If the wife doesn't spend, the husband won't prosper.
What's up, kiddos? How's it going? [laughs]
What's new? Why haven't you changed?
I got an A in history!
And Sister Eulalia chose me to play Cinderella.
That's great to hear, because I have some big news too.
- What? - No. Go with Lupita.
- Go get changed for dinner. - Okay.
[Pancho sighs]
- You got extra vacation days? - Be patient, María Elena.
Jaime congratulated me
and said that if I keep up the good work
and learn English and Mandarin, he'll make me the general manager.
He might just make me a partner.
- Does it come with a raise? - Of course.
At least double. As much as that puppet of a manager now makes.
Congratulations.
Mm!
The truth is, we need a new SUV and a better school for the kids
where they can meet more affluent kids, and learn English and French.
You know what else?
We should look for a weekend beach house. Right?
Yeah!
When you're the boss, can you buy me a motorbike?
- And I want a pony like Paty's. - Hang on.
Before you get too excited and spend it all,
we need to pay off the mortgage first,
then we need to pay off the cars,
and most importantly, María Elena,
we have to pay off our bank loans and the credit cards.
[in English] Don't talk about money in front of the kids.
- [in Spanish] What? - Don't be a downer.
I'm not a downer. I'm being realistic.
We just can't spend money like that.
At least not until I get that promotion.
Hmm?
[Lupita] Excuse me.
Lupita, come here.
What is this slop?
What you told me to prepare, ma'am.
- Cheese and spinach "chuflé." - This looks like clay, not a soufflé.
I told you to check with me if you had any questions.
Yes, but you went shopping all afternoon so I did what I could.
Take this away and make us some turkey sandwiches. Okay?
And to teach you a lesson, you'll eat the whole thing.
- All right? - Yes, ma'am, as you wish.
It's not enough she's filthy. She doesn't know her place.
I don't know why you try.
[telephone ringing]
Should I say you're not here, sir? I'm sure it's your persistent dad again.
No, I'll get it, Lupita.
She thinks she's one of us.
[sighs]
- Hello. - [Rosendo] Hello, my son.
How are you, Dad? It's nice to hear from you.
How is everything there?
Let me tell you, son.
Your grandfather Francisco, may God rest his soul,
passed away a few days ago.
Grandpa Francisco died? How old was he?
- [Mari] I'm so sorry. - We were just doing the math.
He was definitely over 120,
but nobody knows for sure.
Give my love to Mom and Grandma Pascuala.
- Mari also sends her love. - I will, son.
Listen, it's very important that you come to Prosperidad.
[Pancho] That's going to be a bit difficult.
I'm swamped with work.
No, no, no. We don't really have much of a choice here.
Look, Pancho, the thing is,
your grandfather's last wish was for you to attend his funeral.
He also ordered the notary not to open his will
until you were present.
And, if you don't come,
we could get evicted.
Oh, boy. No, no. Don't tell me that, Dad.
It's just not the best time.
Maybe I could try to visit in December, how's that?
Don't do this to us.
Grandpa's been dead for three days, he's starting to stink.
Listen, it's a matter of life and death.
What do you want me to say? I can't make it and that's that.
Fine! If you can't, you can't! But what are we going to do?
I can't force you to come.
[angrily] All right, give my love to everyone back home.
You too, Pancho.
And just so you know, this doesn't surprise me.
You've always been a bad son.
Selfish, ungrateful!
A real piece of shit!
Come on. Let's go, Filemón.
[brays]
He hung up on me.
[Mari sighs]
Oh, Fran.
You've never been close to your family. I'm surprised you're so upset.
My family is one thing, but my grandfather is a different story.
I was always his favorite.
He helped me move away and paid for my education.
Really? Maybe you should visit your family after all.
- To see what he left you. - What could he have left?
A plot of land somewhere? A house in ruins?
Two donkeys and a cow? He had nothing of value.
Maybe he left you the house. I'm sure it's worth something.
Well, maybe. Maybe.
But my parents and siblings have always lived there.
So if I end up getting it, I can't just kick them out.
I'd like to visit your hometown to meet my relatives and grandparents.
I want to bring home a donkey and a cow to live with us!
Oh, she's a cutie, isn't she?
Yeah.
I promise to take you to Prosperidad one day,
so you can meet the family and see where I grew up.
You'll see how beautiful the town is.
You know what?
We should go to bed, it's getting late.
Here are the sandwiches. Don't you want them?
- Thank you for everything, Lupita. - No, eat them or throw them out.
But eat that whole soufflé, see if you learn anything.
Good night.
Up yours.
[reporter on TV] Do you profess or practice the Catholic faith?
I'm a Christian...
- Please, shut him off. - Why, honey?
I'm sick of seeing him everywhere.
I hate his tropical accent,
and his endless speeches about the noble masses,
and that the poor come first.
"Let's take from the rich and give to the poor."
...like the works of Jesus Christ.
He is a fighter.
- The most important... - [laughs]
He's comparing himself to Jesus now!
The country is in shambles, maybe he has a point.
Don't even joke about it. Like my country club friends say,
he's a populist demagogue who'll ruin our country
and turn it into Cuba or Venezuela.
"Cuba or Venezuela."
You know what you should do?
You and Jaime should chat about the president.
If you heard the stuff he says, you'd idolize him.
I'm sure Jaime is right.
Good night, Lord Populist.
Good night, Lady Fifí.
Wow.
- [moans] - [sighs]
- Hey, Fran. - Mmm.
Are you absolutely sure it's not worth finding out
what your grandfather left you?
Maybe he has something valuable you don't know about.
No, I'm absolutely sure it's not worth it.
Good night, sleep well.
[kisses] Bye.
[sighs]
[exhales]
[melancholy music playing]
[metal clanking]
Pancho!
Pancho, come here!
Look what I found.
Another one, Grandpa?
This one's huge!
How many does this make?
Plenty, my boy. Plenty.
Don't forget that this is a secret, huh?
Just between you and me.
In the end, once I'm gone,
all this will be yours.
Of course, Grandpa.
Don't worry.
And don't forget,
the world is full of vultures
just waiting for the moment to steal from us!
You haven't told anyone, have you?
Nothing about the treasure?
Or about my safe? Right, Pancho?
No. I haven't told anyone.
[kisses] I swear to God.
I don't believe you, you lying brat.
I'm sure you told your parents and your brothers.
I have to be sure
you keep your mouth shut...
forever!
- [Pancho screaming] - Fran!
- [panting] - You were having another nightmare.
We have to go to Prosperidad.
[sighs]
I wanted to explore the possibility of taking...
three weeks off.
What do you mean, three weeks off, Pancho?
I don't even take that many days off.
I swear it's not a vacation.
I have a very serious family situation
and they need me urgently to handle some paperwork.
Pancho, you've really disappointed me.
I put so much trust in you, and this is how you repay me?
But because I like you,
I'll give you five days, not a day more.
Thank you so much, sir.
Rest assured, I'll leave everything in order.
I'll be back before Thursday to sign for the new machines.
Don't take your eye off the prize.
Thank you.
[jaunty music playing]
Are we almost there, Daddy?
Princess, I told you half an hour ago that we were three hours away.
Take another nap.
Your hometown is really far.
We should've flown to Durango
and rented a car there.
I already told you a hundred times,
if we landed in Durango, we'd have to cross the mountains
and that's at least eight hours.
Really? How long has it been now?
We're getting closer. Right, family?
[all flatly] Yes.
Good.
- Hey, Mom. - Hmm?
Tell us the truth.
How come you haven't met Dad's family?
Don't ask me, ask him.
Why, Dad? Were you ashamed of them?
To tell you the truth, I don't really know.
First, I finished school,
then I got a job at the plant,
then I met your mom and we got married,
then you were born and for some reason or other
the trip kept being put off.
The other day, I heard Mom telling Aunt Jackie
that you never visited because my grandparents are gross
and they're always asking for money.
Catalina!
- That's too far. - When did you last visit?
If memory serves, it's been 20 years since I visited Prosperidad.
Twenty years without seeing your parents?
That's twice as many years as I've been alive!
- That's a buttload. - Toni!
I've told you over and over not to cuss.
Don't talk like that in front of your grandparents.
Look at that, family. We made it to the turn-off.
- Yes. - [Cati] That's great.
So, we are almost there?
[Pancho] No, it's still two and a half more hours driving on a dirt road.
- Take a nap. - [Mari] Have some snacks.
[Pancho] Lupita, give Cati a pillow
so she can sleep and give her some snacks.
Just don't leave crumbs everywhere.
[Cati] Yes, Mommy.
[Pancho sighs]
Look at how beautiful this is.
Two hours of this?
[coughing]
Shall we close the windows?
Yes.
[all coughing]
- [Mari] Turn on the A/C. - No, no, no, the dust will get in.
Hey, Lupita.
Does it remind you of home?
No, sir. With all due respect,
San Pedro de los Saguaros is much prettier.
[Mari] It's so hot.
Ooh. I'm roasting, jeez.
Oh, damn it.
We need to move that yucca. Can you help me, Lupita?
Yes, sir.
Come on, move
- I'm going to help. - [Pancho] My God.
[bird cawing]
[Mari] Kids get out of the car too.
- [kids] Okay. - You can stretch out...
- Grab that side. We'll carry it. - Yes.
Come on.
- It's so heavy, sir. - Hold on.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
- Here we go. - Fran. Fran.
- [Pancho] What is it? - [Mari] That!
No! Mom. Mom.
Howdy, friend.
Is the yucca heavy?
Yeah, but we have it under control.
Mmm. Well, that's lucky.
Because this is a lonely road, and it gets pretty dangerous out here.
Right, Chento?
- Stay put, miss. - Calm down.
Gentlemen, please. Let's all relax.
Here's my watch and my wallet. Uh...
Mm-hmm.
You're welcome to take anything from the car.
Ah. Are you one of the Reyes from Prosperidad?
Yes, that's my family.
Fucking Pancho Reyes.
Don't you recognize me? Huh?
Filiberto R. Arriaga.
We went to elementary school together.
Beto?
- Didn't we call you Mapache? - Mm-hmm.
[chuckling]
Well, sorry about this.
A man's gotta make a living.
- Yeah, I get it. - [chuckles]
You're here for your grandfather?
Yes, Beto, it's such a tragedy.
It is. My deepest condolences.
May God keep Don Francisco in his holy glory.
Thank you, Beto.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, brother.
[jewelry jingles]
- Thanks. - You staying in town?
Let's meet for a drink and catch up.
Sure, I'd love to.
- You have a beautiful family. - Thanks.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
- We'll clear the road for you. - Thanks.
Sorry to scare you, miss!
Bye, kids! Welcome to Prosperidad!
- Thanks, Beto. - Giddy up!
Let's go!
Come on!
Let's go.
[jaunty music resumes]
Go for it!
[Pancho] Look, children. We made it to Prosperidad.
[kids shout] Yay!
- [Pancho] Should we take a picture? - [kids] Yeah!
No. I can't believe it.
I don't have any cell service.
Madam, my phone doesn't either, and it's newer than yours.
- [Mari sighs] - Mine too. But know what?
I'm sure this is going to be an unforgettable experience.
- A picture for Instagram. - Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Make it vertical, okay?
- How about if we do a Boomerang? - Sure.
- [Mari] For our Stories. - All right.
One, two... say whiskey.
[all] Whiskey!
[laughs]
PROSPERIDAD
[mournful harmonica music playing]
[car horn honks]
This isn't like you described it. It's a ghost town.
It must be the time of day. I guess folks are taking a siesta.
Look there, honey.
- That's Mapache's house. - [Mari] Don't remind me.
Good day!
[Mari] The ones who are awake don't seem too friendly.
[Toni] Hey, Dad.
Is this the whole town?
It's this small?
And this horrible?
Believe it or not,
Prosperidad was once Mexico's wealthiest town.
Legend has it that the mountains had so much gold,
you'd find bits laying in the streets.
Yeah, right.
The only thing on these streets is garbage and dog poo.
[Cati] Look, a donkey.
- [farting] - [Mari] Human poo? Ah!
- Don't look, kids. - Turn around.
- Kids, please. - [laughing]
- [Mari] No. - [Lupita] Gross.
[band playing slow, sad song]
[Pancho] Oh, look, how beautiful.
Look. Look.
Look, kids.
This is one of Prosperidad's most beautiful traditions.
When someone dies,
the family parades them all over town, to a beautiful, old song
called "Las Golondrinas."
Judging by the coffin size, they were kids, just like you.
Pancho!
Shut up.
- What? - Shut up.
[song continues]
[song fades]
[children laughing, chattering]
[children yelling excitedly] They're here!
Let's go tell Grandpa!
Grandpa! Grandpa!
Grandma!
The rich relatives are here!
Mom!
They're here, Dad!
ESPERANZA MINE
They're here!
Grandpa! Grandma!
What is this, Fran?
Pancho Francisco Reyes.
My lucky eyes!
My dear father!
I'm so glad you came, son.
Because in a couple of years we might not be around.
My beautiful mother.
Praise the Lord!
Pancho.
- My son. - This is my family.
This is my wife, Mari,
and these cuties are my children.
- Hello. - Toni and Cati.
A white woman to boost the bloodline, son.
Welcome to our home, ma'am.
Thank you, Mr. Rosendo.
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Dolores.
[Dolores] Nice to meet you, ma'am.
[Rosendo] Come here, Mari.
- Come, meet the rest of the family. - Pancho!
This is my eldest son.
Rosendo, like me.
Even though he's a big guy, we all call him Rosendito.
[laughing] What's up, Rosendito?
You smell like manure. Have you showered since I left?
Fucking Pancho, still running his mouth.
Oh, you've been humping that cow?
[chuckling]
Pig.
This hypocritical nut
is my daughter Socorro.
The Divine Providence granted me the miracle
of seeing you again, Pancho. Oh!
Socorro, I see you didn't become a nun after all.
This lame, useless good-for-nothing who used to be the village teacher
and now thinks he's a poet, is her husband Cruz.
Uh, uh, uh, Prosperidad's poet.
- Clear eyes. Serene and enormous... - Enough.
This is my son, Hilario,
the artist of the family.
- Nice to meet you. - And this little girl...
- What was your name again? - [exhales]
Pánfila, Mr. Rosendo.
You forgot again? [inhales]
Pánfila Lucía Margarita Pérez Hernández
and now "Reyes,"
at your humble service.
What's up, Hilario?
- How have you been? - Pancho.
- You couldn't find anyone younger? - [laughs]
The perks of being the town's most famous artist.
How are you, kiddo?
This boy with the face of a mobster is my son Rufino.
The black sheep of the family.
And this busty little minx
is his current girl, Gloria.
[Mari] Mm...
[Rufino] Hi, honey.
Pleasure to meet you.
You're hotter than I imagined, sis.
Thanks.
Rufino, look at you! You look like a narco.
[chuckles] Come on, Pancho.
Life isn't fair.
We can't all be as lucky as you.
In this town, you do what you can, not what you want.
Give me a hug, you bastard!
It's good to see you.
Come here, brother.
Come on.
I'm Gloria López, but call me "Culichi."
- [Gloria moans] - Pancho.
[Gloria] Welcome.
At your service.
Same here.
Ah. [clicks tongue] How should I explain this mess?
This lady
used to be my son, Jacinto.
One day, to the family's shame and dishonor,
he decided he wasn't a man and became Jacinta.
You get it, right?
Nice to meet you, sis.
Sorry about Dad's nonsense.
Rosendo is your typical macho Mexican.
[laughs] Oh, Pancho!
Look at how handsome you turned out!
I guess this is a surprise, but it's not contagious.
Oh, Jacinto, look at you.
You were always strange, even as a kid.
It's Jacinta, even if it takes you awhile.
Hang on, meet my hubby.
- Lupe! - Yeah.
Nice to meet you.
Guadalupe Flores, at your service.
- Nice to meet you. - Ma'am.
Good to meet you.
This is my daughter Bartola. [chuckles]
The only good one in the family.
Although, to be honest, she's not too bright.
She already has six kids with six different men.
Including a Black one and a Chinese one.
To top it all off,
she's pregnant by a gringo who doesn't speak Spanish.
I guess you don't need to do much talking to do that.
Look at you! You were a baby when I left.
You're all grown up now!
Which one of these is your husband?
[sobs]
- Oh, Pancho! - What?
As soon as Billy found out I was pregnant,
he left without saying goodbye!
[continues sobbing]
- Oh, sister. - Anyway.
Here we have Brayan, Yaroslavi, Dudinka, Reagan,
and a bunch I don't know, but they're all my grandkids.
All right, this goes for everyone.
This is Mari, my beloved wife,
and these are my kids, Toni and Cati.
Hello.
And this is Lupita.
She helps around the house and agreed to come with us.
Is she your servant?
You don't call them that anymore. She's a domestic worker.
You're banging her, right?
- Come on. Don't say things like that, Dad! - [chuckles lasciviously]
[woman] Where's my hello, Panchito?
Or have you already forgotten your fucking grandmother?
Ungrateful bastard!
[Pancho] Grandma Pascuala!
What a wonderful surprise!
Of course you're surprised, you little shit.
You probably thought I was dead, right?
- I wouldn't dare, Grandma! - Mm-hmm.
Here, meet my family.
These are my wife and kids.
- Hello. - Beautiful family, you bastard.
And you are so lucky that the brats turned out to be white.
But that doesn't fix you abandoning us all these years.
Come here. Come closer.
I think that maybe these are not yours, huh?
[gasps]
Pancho. Pancho, why don't we take you to your room?
You must be tired, let's go.
I'll see you later. I'm glad you haven't changed.
Go on now, you fucking fifí.
Come on.
I just hope you and your woman
didn't have the nerve to show up here empty-handed.
I hope you brought me a nice gift, at least.
Yes.
Just a little something from all of us.
They're Fendi.
All right, blondie.
Now we're on the same page.
[chuckles]
- You look great, Mom. - I know, right.
Let's go.
Let's see your grandpa first,
so that he knows you're here. Come on.
We put him in this room.
[door creaks open]
[Rosendo] Come in.
[flies buzzing]
Didn't your mother and sisters do a great job?
I mean, he's starting to smell,
but we had to honor his wishes of having you at the funeral.
Now that you're here with your family,
the old man can finally rest in peace.
[kisses]
You'll have a chance to be alone with him and to say the rosary.
Give him a kiss, son!
[flies buzzing loudly]
- [coughs] - [gags]
- [coughing] - [Lupita] Don't touch that.
Get down, please.
Don't take that.
[Rosendo] Come on, let's go to your room.
Come on, son.
[Lupita] You’ll break it.
Get down, please!
[pig oinks]
Come in, come in.
Oh! Shoo! Get out!
- [pig squeals] - Go, pig! Outside!
We're putting you in Grandpa's room.
It's the best in the house.
As you can see, it's not a luxury hotel,
but we prepared everything with love.
The sheets are freshly washed.
Here is some soap, a few towels,
and nice clean water for you to freshen up.
[chuckling] Do you like it, son?
It's not bad for a couple nights. Right, honey?
Don't worry about us.
Since you're both here,
we got you a little gift. I hope you like it.
- What's this? - It's a necktie.
It's Hermès.
A tie.
Just what I needed.
Chanel No. 5.
A classic.
If you don't like it, Mari can exchange them.
No, Pancho, I can't. Maybe you should've bought them yourself.
We'll let you get settled.
- Let's go. - Thanks, Dad.
What's that?
- Get some rest. - Thanks.
Great-grandpa's leg.
What?
[gasping] Pancho.
- Have you seen...? - Oh, I almost forgot!
Later today, we're having a little welcome party,
to celebrate your homecoming.
Don't let us down.
We'll be there, Dad. Thank you.
- Come on, woman. - All right.
[door closes]
You don't expect us to stay here, do you?
Not only is this place filthy, it's your dead grandfather's room!
That's his leg. This is a nightmare!
What do you want to do?
Should we book a room in the village Hilton?
Didn't you hear that they're throwing us a party?
I can't insult my family like that.
Yes, but this is a pigsty!
It smells like... poor people!
Listen, María Elena.
I told you I came from humble beginnings, and you said you didn't mind.
And don't forget,
I know exactly how your white-trash parents made their money.
So, don't play the aristocrat with me, eh?
- [Mari sobs] - [sighs]
[continues sobbing]
[chicken clucks]
[sobs]
Come on, honey. Don't be silly, stop crying.
Everything will be okay. It's only a few days, I promise.
- Okay? - [sobs]
Pancho, it's just...
I'm sorry for everything I said about your family,
but this is even worse than my worst nightmare.
Dad, I need to tell you something, but don't get mad.
- What is it, champ? - I need a bathroom.
- So do I. - Number one or two?
- Poop. Maybe even the runs. - Me too.
- Hurry, come with me before it's too late. - Me too.
All right, kids.
Go that way, pick a tree,
pull your pants down, and watch out for bugs.
I'll get toilet paper. Hurry.
- Out here? - Yes, here. Go, go, go.
Pancho, are you telling me there's no bathroom?
There's an outhouse, but trust me, this is better.
- Well, since I'm here. - [Mari groans]
[Mari whimpers]
[urinating]
- [Mari sobbing] - How are you doing, kids?
[kids] Fine!
[Pancho] Good.
[continues sobbing]
[whoops]
[band playing ranchera-style music]
Cheers!
[singing] ♪ We parted some time ago ♪
♪ But my moment to lose has come ♪
♪ You were very right ♪
♪ I listen to my heart ♪
♪ And I'm dying to come back ♪
Come on, family.
[all] ♪ To come back ♪
♪ And come back ♪
♪ To your arms again ♪
♪ I'll come wherever you are ♪
♪ I know how to lose ♪
♪ I want to come back ♪
Sister-in-law!
♪ Come back! ♪
[cheering]
[music stops]
Thank you, Dad.
Pancho, welcome back again. Here's to you.
Thanks, Dad.
Cheers, and thanks for the party.
You really went all-out.
Cheers!
It's the least we could do for you and your family.
And honestly, we're all happy that you're here.
[band playing]
[cheering, whistling]
[Rosendo] Hang on, Hilario! Wait, wait!
Give me a second. I want to say a few words.
Children, get over here!
Hey there, little guy!
[kisses, chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
My dear family.
This is a very special day for your mother and me.
Having you all together,
but especially having my son Pancho and his family with us,
is more than I ever dreamed.
Don't take this the wrong way,
but Pancho has always been my favorite.
Without a doubt,
he is the best of all of you.
Cheers, son.
Cheers, Mari.
Once again, welcome to Prosperidad.
Cheers, everyone!
- [all cheering] - [glass clinking]
Now it's your turn, son. Come on.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
[all chanting] Speech! Speech! Speech!
Go, Dad!
Uh...
First of all, I'd like to thank you for your kind welcome.
After so many years,
my family and I are ecstatic to be with all of you here in Prosperidad.
[cheering, laughing]
In order to keep this short,
let me say something from the heart.
This goes especially to Mom and Dad.
I hope you can forgive me for not coming sooner,
and for abandoning you all this time.
I'm sorry.
- Cheers. Cheers. - Pancho!
[cheers]
Still, we're only staying for a couple of days.
We have to get back to the capital soon, right?
Don't worry, son.
We'll bury him first thing tomorrow.
Afterwards, we'll get everyone together, including your uncles,
and have the notary read the will.
Sounds good.
Hey, Grandma Pascuala. How are Uncle Regino and Ambrosio?
Dead, I hope.
Unfortunately, those ass-wipes are still wasting oxygen.
I wish you would've invited them, Dad.
No way! I'd rather die than let those pricks set foot in this house.
Quiet, Rosendo!
There's that slut Dolores.
- Coming to her boyfriends' defense. - [chuckling]
Shut up, Pascuala! You're always stirring the pot with your lies.
- You old hag! - Aw.
Don't disrespect my mother!
What she said is true.
Everyone knows you were whoring around with Regino.
Your mother's the whore, asshole!
[yells]
- [all clamoring] - [man] Hold on! Hold on!
Hilario! Watch out!
Play something! Let's go!
[band playing "El Rey"]
It's your song. It's your song, Mom! It's your song. It's your song, Mom.
[all singing] ♪ I know very well that I'm out ♪
♪ But the day I die ♪
♪ I know you'll have to cry ♪
♪ Cry and cry! Cry and cry! ♪
♪ You'll say that you didn't love me ♪
♪ But you'll be very sad ♪
♪ And that's how you'll stay ♪
♪ With money, without money ♪
♪ I do whatever I want ♪
♪ And my word is the law ♪
Ready? One, two...! Come on, Cati!
Let's go!
Beat the shit out of this fucking gringo so that he learns to respect us Mexicans.
Come on, Cati!
That's it, Cati.
[all shouting]
[flies buzzing]
No, no, no! Put that down, sis.
Try this, I made it for you with love.
- What is it, Rufino? - It's called Nenepil Norteño.
You won't find a better one outside of Prosperidad.
Is it spicy?
Try it. If you don't like it, spit it out.
Hey, you trust me, right?
How is it?
[Mari] Mmm...
- It's delish! - Delish.
What is it called again?
Nenepil Norteño.
Later I'll make you a lamb one.
The local meat always leaves you more satisfied.
But first, let me get another tequila.
- Wait here! - Pancho.
- Hmm? - What's in a Nenepil Norteño?
[chuckles] Just eat it, don't ask.
It's delish, I love it.
What's in it?
Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Nenepil is made from
pig guts, liver, uterus, and stomach
cooked in a nut sauce. It's the region's specialty.
Delicious.
Sis! Here's the tequila, there you go!
- Yes. Pour me some more. - Of course.
Anyone else?
What's up, guys? Take a quick break.
Let's go.
[Spanish version of "Achy Breaky Heart" playing]
Bartola, let's get them.
- Don't be so uptight, let's dance. - Sis.
Come dance with us.
I'm not taking a no for an answer.
Come on.
[song continues]
- You know it, right? - Yes.
[song ends]
Bravo!
[all cheering]
Let's take a family picture!
- Everyone! Under the clock! - Wait, Grandma is missing.
Come on, Mom. We're taking a picture.
I'm not doing that nonsense!
- Yes, you are. - Come on, Grandma!
Damn it!
- Don't push me around! - [Pancho] Make space for Grandma.
What's this?
Say "whiskey" on three.
One, two, three!
[all] Whiskey!
Pancho, wait!
Get in, I'll take another one so you're in it.
- Thanks, bro. Make it vertical. - It's "sister."
Say "whiskey" on three.
Whiskey!
On three, guys.
One, two...
- [farts] - [screaming]
[whooping, laughter]
[playing melody on kazoo]
I spy Rosendito and Lupita kissing in a tree!
- Go away! - Rosendito and Lupita are sweethearts.
Get out of here, brats!
No, we're not.
[children yelling happily]
The best thing I ever did
was to leave this small town and move to the capital.
Hey, Pancho.
- Is it as nice as people say? - Mm.
If we could get rid of all the people there,
Mexico City would be the nicest place in the world.
Brother.
Why don't you take me there and show me around?
Well...
Would you?
If we ever got the chance, I would show you everything.
[chanting] Spin in a circle, spin in a circle
Until Rosendito turns into a donkey
Kids, it's time for bed. Go to your rooms.
[kids] No!
I'll go get the belt, then. I'm not joking around.
- Hurry up! - [kids screaming]
Let's go to sleep!
One, two, three, four, five, six...
Good night, Rosendito.
I'm just like you...
- They call us the Reyes... - The rabbit Reyes.
[laughs]
It's because...
Why don't we take this somewhere more private?
- I love a good secret. - Me too! Let's go.
Yeah.
Good evening, excuse us.
Yeah, okay, okay.
- You know what? - Yes?
- One last drink. - No.
What do you mean, 15,000 pesos for some pig meat and seasoned turkey?
You're fucking with me.
One whole lamb.
Four kilos of Nenepil, three kilos of pork,
five kilos of guacamole.
Plus, a barrel of pulque,
twenty cases of beer, ten bottles of tequila.
And the tent and the lights.
And the chairs! Give me a break, Rosendo.
Let me go see if my children can chip in.
Give me a minute.
Dad, excuse me.
Can we add the boys' fee to the party tab?
You said it was your treat!
Only the first three songs.
We owe them for the other 16 songs. Look at how angry they are.
It's only 7,000 pesos.
- [sighs] - I'll see what I can do.
All right, Dad.
Come on, honey.
[kissing sounds, moaning]
Look at these.
Yes, just dive in.
[Rosendo] Uh, sorry to interrupt.
Could we talk with you for a moment?
Of course, Dad. Certainly.
- Good night, see you tomorrow. - Sure.
What's up?
Son, we're sorry to ask,
but even after everyone chipped in,
we don't have enough to pay for the party.
Sure, no worries. How much?
Drinks, food and music. 25,000 pesos.
How much do you have?
After dipping into our savings,
we're still 10,500 pesos short.
That's pretty steep for a house party.
Let me see.
I'll take this.
If there's anything left, I'll bring it back to you.
Let's go, honey.
Okay.
There you go.
- This is the last one. - All right.
I have a question, sis.
Are those killer tits and ass natural?
Supernatural.
My tits,
my ass,
the hair.
I'd kill for that body.
- Me too. - Lupe!
My brother said you were pretty,
but the bastard didn't say how pretty.
You're drop-dead gorgeous! Huh?
I'm outta here.
- Don't go. - Yes.
Excuse me.
- Bye. - The party's over.
Sleep well.
Party's over.
- You spilled the tequila. - Stubborn.
[urinating]
One more drink and a poem.
A poem for everyone!
O Sweet Land!
Your surface, the gold of maize
Your mines, The palace of the King of Gold
Herons gliding across the skies
And the green flash of the parrots!
- And some other... - Hey, you.
Tell your idiot husband to shut the fuck up
and find me some of that barbacoa meat.
I want another taquito.
Yes, Grandma.
[laughing]
I keep thinking about the way your parents talk.
And the fat mariachis!
Your brother Rufino who wouldn't stop flirting with me.
Your sisters treat me like the Princess of Monaco.
Now you see,
not everyone is as lucky as we are.
Do you know who is the luckiest guy in the whole world?
Who, my dear?
[in English] You are.
[moans]
Mmm.
Ah!
[Mari laughs]
[moans]
- [Pancho] Do you want it? - Yes, please.
[Pancho] Shh. Quiet.
Don't wake the kids, hurry up.
Over here.
[Pancho] Here it comes.
[Mari] Come on. Oh!
[Pancho] Shh! Quiet.
[groans]
[moans]
- Pancho! - What? What?
Someone's spying on us!
- Motherfuckers. - [sighs]
Run!
[turkey gobbles]
Motherfuckers.
They will never change.
[turkey gobbles]
- Go to hell! - [shrieks]
What happened, Pancho?
Who was it? Oh, no.
My dear.
No, no, my love. It was my nephews, it was dark.
- [sighs] Okay. - Don't worry.
Where were we?
I want to feel your muscles.
- These muscles. - Oh, yes!
Ah!
[both moan]
[Pancho] Oh. That's nice.
- Keep it down, Pancho. - Okay.
[groans] Dad, do you know what Moctezuma's Revenge is?
It's what gringos get when they visit Mexico.
Why, champ?
I'm not a gringo, but I think I got it.
Me too.
Oh, man. Hurry up!
Let's go.
I think I have it too.
If it's a girl, we'll call her Socorro, like her aunt.
If it's a boy, Jacinto.
What's this?
Life's not fair, man.
Why do you say that?
How is Pancho's life so good
while we get fucked day in and day out?
I wonder what Pancho's wife thought about us.
That's easy. That we're lowlifes with no class or manners.
- And she's right. - Mm.
It's the truth.
Judging by their car, his watch, and the clothes they wear,
it's clear they are rolling in it.
Imagine the palace they must live in.
And the jewelry on that stuck-up bitch.
Those earrings, that watch, the necklace, the bracelet.
I know about this stuff.
She was probably wearing around 100,000 pesos.
And her perfume, Gloria, it was French.
Really?
Well, that doesn't make them any less sinful or indecent.
Hey, Jacinto...
Sorry, Jacinta. Jacinta.
How much you think Pancho is worth?
Just an estimate.
Oh, I don't know, but a lot.
Maybe a million dollars?
- [sighs] - [scoffs]
Don't be stupid!
If he had a million dollars,
why would he come to this town full of thieves?
- Don't hit me. - Who cares how much he has.
We just need to make sure we get some of it.
Of course.
- Cheers! - Cheers to that, bro!
[rooster crowing]
[gentle harmonica music playing]
[Pancho] Oh, look.
Uncle Ambrosio!
Good to see you! How are you?
Good, my son. Good.
Meet my wife, Mari, and my children.
Nice to meet you.
Likewise, Father Ambrosio.
Your children are beautiful.
I hope they're baptized.
Of course, they are.
Toni is getting ready for his First Communion, right?
- That's right, Dad. - Yes.
Oh, what a lovely smile.
I see you finally got the courage to come.
I'm glad because if your years of abandonment
were condemning your soul to purgatory,
missing your grandfather's funeral would be your ticket to hell.
How could I miss this? He was always like a father to me.
How could you miss this? Yeah, right.
What brought you back to Prosperidad was the greed to see what is in his will,
but we'll talk later.
We have to get this funeral going,
before the smell starts to attract the vultures.
- Shall we? - Yes.
Get ready to carry.
- Carry? - What?
That jacket...
- Good day, everyone. - [all] Good morning.
Fucking queer.
[Ambrosio] Ready?
May God take mercy on his soul. Let's go.
[band plays "Las Golondrinas"]
[song continues]
I'm okay.
[sobbing] Don't leave me!
Today the Lord has brought us together to say goodbye to a great man.
Our dear father and grandfather, Don Francisco Reyes,
is finally at peace
and has risen to Heaven to be with the Lord.
Yet, his memory and example shall live on in our hearts forever.
A man of integrity, generosity, hard-work, and honesty.
A good husband and a better father and grandfather.
May his legacy be a light to us all.
A beacon on our path--
[Pascuala] Come on, Ambrosio.
Cut the bullshit and get on with it.
Your father was always a miserable son of a bitch.
So wrap it up already because it's getting too hot out here.
I'm sorry, Mother. Sorry. Let us pray.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee...
[all continue praying]
[vehicle approaching]
- [vehicle door opens] - [alarm chirps]
- [man] Come, my queen. - [door slams]
I'll be damned.
When it rains, it pours.
The last thing we needed was him and his tramp.
I'll give him a piece of my mind.
Calm down, Rosendo!
Francisco was his father, too.
Don't make a scene at his funeral.
Mommy. Godson.
- How are you? - Calm.
Excuse me.
I'm here. Sorry I couldn't come sooner.
You can't imagine how upset I was when I heard the news.
How I cried for Dad.
Spare me your lies, you shameless bastard.
Your father was sick for a long time, and he's been dead for three days,
yet you never visited him or came to pay your respects.
Stop being a hypocrite.
I need you, your floozy, and that tumor you call a son
to start praying like the rest of us,
so we can be done with this bullshit,
and go read the will.
Yes, mother. My apologies again.
- [kisses] - Ugh!
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Granny.
I was also very upset by Grandpa's death.
Get out of my face, you hemorrhoid!
[snorting]
[Ambrosio] Let us proceed. Our Father, who art in Heaven...
[all continue praying indistinctly]
Good afternoon, everyone.
[Regino] Good afternoon, sir.
In accordance with Mr. Francisco's final will,
I will commence reading his last will and testament.
"In the village of Prosperidad, in the municipality of the same name,
Mr. Francisco Reyes Vargas appears before me."
"He declares he is Mexican by birth,
a miner by trade,
and a citizen of this municipality,
where he was born on the 21st of April 1897."
"Being of sound mind and body,
and expecting you've honored his final wish..."
[snoring]
"...of having all his family present
for this solemn occasion,
he declares the following testament."
"To his great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren,
and further descendants, whose name he doesn't know,
he leaves a 20 pesos coin each,
in the hope that, by investing it wisely,
they will forge their own path through life."
Asshole!
[kids chanting] Asshole!
[Rosendo] Get out!
Out! Out! Go!
"To his dear grandchildren,
Rosendito, Hilario,
Socorro,
Rufino,
Jacinto or Jacinta, as she prefers to be called,
Reginito and Bartola,
he leaves them his donkey,
his cow, his turkey
and his three pigs."
"To be split however they see fit."
"To his daughter-in-law Dolores García,
in appreciation for one memorable night of passion,
he leaves his precious Virgin of Guadalupe medal."
"To his son Ambrosio,
who, as a good Christian,
and representative of God on Earth,
doesn't believe in material things,
he hereby leaves one Our Father,
and three Hail Mary's."
Screw you, Dad.
"To his son Regino,
who among his children was the only one who succeeded in life,
and realized his dream of becoming
a thieving, corrupt, bloodsucking politician,
he leaves a used and underlined copy of the Moral Primer handbook."
"One of the ones the government handed out in our town."
- Let's get out of here. - "To his son Rosendo...
Come on.
"...who among the triplets
was the only one who followed his footsteps
and took up mining,
he passes on his pickaxe, his shovel, and his cart,
so he can keep pursuing his ridiculous dream of finding
a gold-bearing vein in the old Esperanza mine."
"To his beloved companion for so many years,
Mrs. Pascuala Vargas García,
he only passes his deepest gratitude
and wishes that her time in this world
isn't prolonged too much,
so that she can join him soon."
Fucking Francisco Reyes!
You were a fucking asshole until the very end!
I hope you rot in Hell, asshole!
Well, sir,
if he left none of us anything,
who the fuck is getting the house and all his belongings?
If you'll allow me, Mrs. Pascuala, I haven't finished yet.
"Lastly, it is his will
to appoint as his universal heir
to the rest of his assets,
including the house, the old Esperanza mine,
with all its tunnels and surrounding land,
as well as any movable and immovable assets therein,
and the items that over the course of his life,
he dutifully stored in his personal safe,
of which yours truly is appointed guardian, executor, and steward,
his grandson Francisco,
who among his descendants
was the only one whose hard work, effort, and dedication--"
What the fuck?
You'll have to excuse me, sir,
but I don't believe a word you just read.
How is it possible this bullshit is true, and Dad has left everything to Pancho?
He hadn't heard from him in over 20 years!
I'm very sorry, Rosendo!
Those were his last wishes.
Don't blame me,
I'm just the messenger.
[all yelling indistinctly]
- [gunshot] - Ah!
Listen up, you fuckers!
Leave Mr. Toribio alone!
Knowing that bastard Francisco, I assure you the will is true.
- Of course. - He always fucked us over.
Only thing left for us to do
is hope that Panchito takes pity
and shares his inheritance with the rest of us.
[sad music playing]
- [Dolores] More beans? - No, Lola.
I bet these welfare beans from the government
are rancid and have weevils.
I always get so gassy.
I'll have some, Mom. I like those critters.
I want some too.
Sorry, that's all we had.
Yes, Grandma finished all the leftovers last night.
You didn't save anything for Pancho and his family?
You didn't invite them to eat with us?
I did, but as soon as they got back,
they went to their room and haven't come out.
And what can we offer them? Rancid welfare beans?
Stale tortillas?
Imagine your daughter-in-law's face.
What if we slaughter a chicken or a pig?
Are you crazy? Those are my animals!
I'm saving them for my wife's fifteenth birthday.
Curse this misery!
How much worse can things get?
For the millionth time, don't be a crybaby.
Act like a man!
We've spent years eating what we can, when we can,
and you've never whined like a little bitch.
Sure, but I had the hope that Dad
was going to leave us something valuable
that would change our luck.
Didn't you hear that the old bastard had a safe?
It's true. I heard him mention a safe.
I heard it too.
What the fuck is in the safe?
Something valuable, I'm sure.
Who the fuck knows?
Probably old documents, some photographs,
nothing of value,
because I'm sure the old bastard spent every last dime
on whores and booze!
[laughs]
I'll say it again. How much worse can it get?
- [knocking on door] - [Pancho] May I?
- Come on in, son! - Excuse me.
- Where are the kids? - They're asleep.
They got sunstroke after the procession.
I'm sorry, son. There's no more food,
but I can send Bartola to get some tamales.
No. Don't worry, Mom.
We're still full from yesterday's feast.
And we don't feel so good. Right, Mari?
Are you sure, son?
Mrs. Pancha's green chili tamales are the best!
- And we have a tab. - That's okay, Dad.
We just came to say that after a lot of discussion
we think we understand how you must be feeling.
We think Grandpa was unfair in the way he split his assets.
- [all] It is unfair. - [Pancho] Settle down. Settle.
Even though I got the house, the mine, and the land,
nothing will change for all of you.
[all shouting happily]
What did I say?
Pancho is the best son in the world!
Brayan, Dudinka! Go and get Mr. Pancracio
and tell him to send us a pig and tequila to celebrate!
Hilario, go get your boys! We'll need music!
- Right away! - Tell him I want lamb!
And some pork rinds, but hold the hair.
- [whooping] - [band playing upbeat song]
Come on!
[music fades]
[happy chatter]
Fran, I feel awful.
It's just a hangover.
[groans]
Champ, be careful!
Good morning. Good morning.
- Morning. - Good morning, ladies.
[Dolores] Morning, sleepyheads. Did you sleep well?
More or less.
Where's Dad and the others?
They're running errands.
They'll be back later to take you into town.
I'm making you a nice breakfast to cure your hangover.
I'm sure it's a bad one.
I made some spicy soup
and chilaquiles with three types of chilies.
My apologies, Mrs. Dolores,
but I don't feel well. Excuse me.
Honey, eat something to settle your stomach!
Doesn't the madame like Mexican food?
Snooty fart-smelling bitch.
No, that's not it, Grandma.
Dinner didn't agree with her, she threw up all night.
Let's make her some tea with epazote, jimsonweed--
No, don't bother, Mom. Just leave it.
- Morning, son! - Hi, Dad.
- Ready to go into town? - I'm ready.
Mmm. [slurps]
Son, sorry to bother you,
but can you lend me some money to pay Mrs. Cata
for breakfast and today's lunch?
[Pancho] Mmm.
Panchito.
Can I get something for my hemorrhoid cream
and my cigarettes?
There you go. [kisses]
Thank you.
I'll keep it safe for you.
No.
[children yelling]
Son, pull over for a second.
- Here? - Yes, come with me.
Look, son.
All this is now yours.
How far do the lands extend?
- See the house? - Yeah.
The property line starts here where the cross is,
and ends all the way at the mountains.
How come you never grew crops
or raised cattle to put it to use?
Clearly, you've spent too long in the city.
All that grows here are mesquite, acacia, thorny prickly pears and weeds.
The only animals that thrive are black vipers, spiders,
and venomous scorpions, isn't that right?
If you and my brothers weren't so lazy,
you would've used this land to get ahead.
It's the exact same as when I left.
No, Pancho.
We haven't been twiddling our thumbs, right, Rosendito?
No, we work from sunrise to sundown every day.
And to prove it, we have a surprise for you.
Remember the old mine?
[Pancho] How could I forget the Refugio tunnel?
I spent my entire childhood here helping Grandpa.
[chuckles] Yes. He used to bring you out here every Saturday.
Well, it's yours now.
We've been coming here once every three days.
We've been doing surveys, cleaning up, and drawing up plans.
Open the gate, son.
Well, the thing is, for a long time
Grandpa Francisco, Rosendito, and I,
have been making plans to open it up again.
Believe it or not,
I'm sure that behind those rocks,
hides the world's largest gold-bearing vein.
- Right, Rosendito? - You said it, Pops!
Dad, forget those old dreams.
According to Grandpa, who knew better than anyone,
this gold dried up years ago.
No way, son!
Even the fucking gringos and the Canadians
have been coming here to check it out.
Like a bunch of blond-haired vultures!
Just like you, Pancho.
What are you talking about?
As far back as I can remember,
you've clung to this fantasy.
And look! Twenty years later, thanks to your laziness, nothing's changed.
Because I've needed a partner and money to get it going.
But now that you're rich and here,
we can finally do it!
Listen to me, Dad. Don't take this the wrong way,
but I only came back for a few days
for the will and the funeral.
So I better hurry up,
if I want to get everything sorted.
It's best we go into town
to sort things out with the notary and my godfather.
- Sure, son. Let's go. - Let's go.
But promise me you'll think about the mine.
[sighs]
I swear we could be multimillionaires.
I promise I'll think about it.
Come on, let's go.
[humming happily]
[laughs]
BIENESTAR BANK
[church bell ringing]
Okay, Dad, wish me luck.
I'll meet you at the cantina to tell you how it went.
All right, don't let that asshole Regino push you around.
He's an expert in bribes and backroom deals.
Be careful. Keep an eye on your wallet.
- See you later. - All right.
[in English] Before buying the Reyes family property,
we first have to ascertain whether there's any fucking gold in that shithole.
Sure, Alex. We have to be also very careful with the mayor.
This fucking Mr. Reyes,
I could tell right away, he's a crook and a very greedy man.
[Alex] What a piece of shit.
And the very epitome of a slippery motherfucking beaner.
[in Spanish] Good day.
[all] Good day.
Uh, where's Mr. Reyes's office?
- In there. - Thanks.
- Good day. - [men] Hello.
Hello.
I'd like to see Mr. Reyes.
Is he expecting you?
Unfortunately, no. But I'm his nephew
and I was hoping he'd see me.
Are you the mayor's relative from the capital?
The one who got Mr. Francisco's inheritance?
Francisco Reyes, at your service.
I can see news travels fast in this town.
Oh, dear.
I'm sorry, but the mayor is a very busy man.
But, for you,
I'll ask Commander Reyes.
He's in charge of his schedule.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
What's up, Reginito?
Don't you remember me?
I'm your cousin Pancho!
I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk yesterday.
What's up, Pancho?
Did you just come back for the inheritance?
Oh! Don't be silly.
Reginito, do you think I can see my godfather?
First, don't call me Reginito. Hmm?
It's Commander Reyes.
Honestly, the mayor can't see you without an appointment.
I understand, Commander. Can you tell him I'm here?
I came to check the paperwork for the house.
Impossible.
I'll check his schedule and try to pencil you in for next week.
Meanwhile, take a seat. I have a lot of work to do.
Thanks a lot.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Take this to pass the time.
It's going to be a long wait.
Thanks, doll.
I appreciate your help with those gringos.
I'll drop by later tonight for another English lesson.
Bye, my dear.
My dearest godson! I'm so glad to see you.
- Same here, Godfather. - [laughing]
Why are you sitting there?
I was hoping to see you.
How's the town treating you?
Just fine. You know what Prosperidad is like.
Did this asshole tell you that you couldn't come in?
No, no, not at all.
But I am in a bit of a rush,
I only have a few days to sort out the house and the inheritance.
Listen up, Reginito! I need this to be clear.
Pancho is like a son to me, and he's free to just walk in.
Got it?
Of course, Dad!
How many times have I asked you not to call me "Dad" here?
They'll accuse me of nepotism.
Go and find something to do.
Make sure no one bothers me so I can talk to my godson.
- Come on in. - Later, Commander.
Couldn't be more corrupt!
He only meets with fucking gringos
and fifís with connections, right?
Sit down. Sit down, godson.
Thank you, godfather.
[sighs]
What have you been up to all this time?
What can I say?
Things were rocky for a bit when I first got to Mexico City.
You know how shitty those city folks can be.
They treated me like garbage.
Things turned around when I graduated and got a good job.
I got married, I have two wonderful kids.
And now I'm back here in Prosperidad.
[chuckles]
I see that you switched political parties.
Oh, son.
Times have changed.
PRI no longer serves this country.
It was ruined by corruption and impunity.
Then I tried PAN, but it was the same, except they're God-fearing hypocrites.
[laughs]
And today, in the hands of our president,
the country is undergoing its fourth transformation.
Things are better than ever!
And he's magically put an end to corruption and impunity.
But I'm sure you're here
because of your grandfather's inheritance.
Honestly, besides coming to visit you,
I was hoping you could help me with the paperwork for the house,
and to get my things from the notary.
Don't worry about all that, I'll gladly help you.
Thank you so much.
But before you can take possession and put everything in your name,
you need to be up-to-date with the property's expenses and mortgage
and settle any outstanding utility bills.
How much are we talking about?
That doesn't include interest or late-payment fees.
Your family hasn't paid bills or property tax for years.
Is it a lot?
I'm not sure the house and land are even worth this much, godfather.
Is there any way we can come to an arrangement?
Francisco, damn it!
I just told you the president put an end to corruption!
Read for yourself.
MORAL PRIMER
Plus, you can drop the act. It's obvious you're a millionaire.
But, listen.
You know you've always been my favorite nephew.
That's why I'm willing to help you out.
Really, Godfather?
How?
I'll give you two options.
Tell me.
First option, you settle the debt in a single payment,
and I'll waive the interest and the surcharges.
And the second option?
- Sell me the property. - What, all of it?
- The house, the mine, the land? - Everything.
What would happen to my family?
I would let them keep living there
at least until my mother passes.
After that,
those parasites you call your family
will have to make it on their own.
Forgive me, but I can't do that to them.
Think it over.
That's all the help I can offer.
Honestly, I'm particularly interested in buying the property.
Let me think about it. With respect, I'm between a rock and a hard place.
You got it.
But don't take too long, the interest fees keep growing.
Please excuse me, but as you can see,
the country needs me, and the noble masses await.
I understand.
Shh...
[whispering] Look.
Wow.
Look at this dress! Isn't it pretty?
Do you think she'll mind if I keep it?
[Dolores] She won't even notice, she has so many!
Mother-in-law!
Look!
This is the good stuff, her jewels!
Enough, thieving bitches! Put everything back!
Put it back! How dare you steal from me?
You too, you tacky slut!
Screw you, cunt! [yelps]
What did you call me?
[all yelling]
THE EAGLE AND THE SNAKE CANTINA
[man urinating]
- Cheers, buddy. - Cheers.
- [bottles clinking] - Cheers.
Cástulo, another bottle and beer for everyone! Pancho's treat!
- Hey. - Come here, son.
Are you paying their tab? It's over 3,000 pesos already.
Sure.
Come on, bring a chair.
Look, guys.
This is my son Francisco, the one I've been telling you about.
The best and brightest of the Reyes family.
- Thanks. Hello. - Remember him?
Sure, we met earlier at Regino's office.
Ah, of course, that was you.
I didn't know it was Pancho. Welcome back.
How did it go with that bastard Regino?
I'm not sure.
It turns out that the property has a lot of debt
and I can't take possession until the debt is paid.
That's Regino's typical bullshit.
You should have just paid it to shut him up.
That's the thing, Dad.
You haven't paid anything for so many years that--
Wait, we'll talk about that later.
I was just telling my buddies
you're going to lend me the money to reopen the old Esperanza mine.
I heard. I heard him say it. I swear to God.
[man] Congrats, Pancho.
I hope you can finally make your dad's dream come true.
Honestly, Rosendo,
you're lucky to have such a great son.
Not only is he good,
he's also rich as hell!
And without a doubt,
the best of all of my children.
In a town, sitting at a table in a cantina,
we find six to eight men...
[man whoops]
Here we go!
[band playing "Jarabe Tapatío"]
Come on, son. Tip your brother-in-law.
And pay the boys to sing us a few songs.
Sure, Dad.
Cheers, gentlemen!
[song continues]
[panting]
[rooster crows]
[sobs]
Fucking Pancho!
[sobbing] There's no service.
[dial tone beeps]
Fucking town!
Fucking thieving bitches!
They don't know who they're messing with. Bitches!
[Rosendo] Just wait until you see the girls
at my son-in-law's brothel.
[soft music playing]
- Hello, Florcita. - Hi, there.
Where's my son and the girl?
They're upstairs.
Don't worry. Ask whatever girl you want, and you can settle up later with the boss.
All right.
Come on, honey. I'm feeling romantic.
Listen up, girls.
Take care of my son Pancho. Huh?
Show him a good time.
Catrina, make sure you look after him because he's paying for this.
- Isn't that right, son? - Sure, Dad.
Hello, Pancho.
Which one of us do you like?
Or would you prefer a ménage à trois?
No, thanks ladies. I'll just wait for them here.
Sit, I'll treat you to some tequila while we wait.
Oh, Pancho! What a party pooper.
Are you sure you're a Reyes?
Yes, unfortunately.
Sit down.
Manuela, bring some beer!
- [sobbing] - No.
Don't cry, gorgeous.
Those big, beautiful eyes are going to get puffy.
I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding.
No one has ever called me anything so awful, Rufino.
Besides, Pancho left early this morning,
and I think he's forgotten all about us. [sobs]
Come on, now. Here, have some more tequila, huh?
Drink this and forget about Pancho.
He probably ran into an ex-girlfriend and is having some fun.
You think Pancho would cheat on me, Rufino?
Jeez.
I don't know if my bro is still a player,
but when he was younger, that son of a bitch,
he slept with every single girl in town.
[chuckles]
[sobs] Oh, no!
Hey, hey.
But none of them were as beautiful as you.
None of them had such pretty eyes.
- [sighs] - Yeah.
Or such a smoking body.
Do you mean that, Rufino?
Do you really think I'm beautiful?
- More beautiful than an angel. - [moans]
No, not an angel.
You're more beautiful than the Virgin Mary.
Oh, Rufino.
[breathing heavily]
Sure, I can get you a job at a classy strip club in the city.
[Lupe] Fucking Jacinta!
I told you, you can't let clients leave without paying first!
Stop hitting me, Lupe!
He said he was going to take a leak, but he climbed out the bathroom window.
[Lupe] Don't give me that bullshit!
You're a common slut who flirts with every guy who walks in!
Take that!
Stop!
[Pancho] Are you okay, brother?
Hey, hey, hey, you listen to me, Lupe.
That's no way to treat my brother. Back off!
Is that so?
Turns out the little dandy has some balls after all!
I'll be sure to leave my mark.
- Come on then! Eh? - Ah!
You said you had balls? Come on!
Big talk and no action.
That's enough, Guadalupe.
Don't be a beast.
Pancho is going to think we're a bunch of animals.
Look.
Why don't I get you some tequila,
so you can settle down and have a drink?
All right?
Fine.
- [whispers] Thanks, brother. - I apologize.
If I'm not tough on them,
the business is fucked.
No big deal. Water under the bridge.
- Cheers, then. - Cheers.
Cheers, bro.
That's enough.
But listen to me,
just so we don't have further issues,
I think you should pay for the drinks and the girls.
Yes, of course.
What's up, son? Everything good?
Are you having fun?
Sure thing, Dad.
[mariachi whooping]
[band playing "Jarabe Tapatío"]
Yeah! [laughs]
[all cheering]
[song continues]
[ranchera music playing on car radio]
[men chattering indistinctly]
[horn honking]
[donkey brays]
There you go.
Oh!
- That's good, son. - [song stops]
That's it.
- [laughing drunkenly] - [thunder rumbles]
Oy.
[men grunting]
[sighing]
Come on, son.
Let's ask your mother
to make us some dinner so we can sleep better.
I'll catch up with you. I'm going to check on Mari and the kids.
I haven't seen them all day.
I told you to act like a man. Don't be such a wuss.
That's how you spoil a woman.
I'll be right there.
See you in a minute!
[Hilario] All right, Pancho.
[knocking]
Who is it?
Who else, my love? It's me, Pancho. Your husband.
- Open up, María Elena. - I'm coming.
Pancho!
- What's with that stick? - We need to leave as soon as possible.
I've had the worst day.
I hate your family more each day.
Honey, what's wrong?
Your mom poisoned me with some herbal tea
and I was passed out all day.
Then your sisters came
to see what they could steal.
They touched all my clothes and jewelry, and I was so angry
that I got into a fist fight with that slut Gloria!
- What do you--? - Pancho!
There's something else
but I don't want the kids to hear.
What happened?
[sniffles] After that, your brother Rufino came into our room
and tried to force himself on me.
- Honey, I think you're drinking too much. - [sobs]
- No. - Yes, I do.
You're drinking too much,
my family might not have the best manners,
but stealing, poisoning, and forcing themselves on you?
I'm sorry, but they wouldn't do that.
No, Dad! Mom is right.
Our cousins stole our iPads and broke them.
It's true! And those rude kids cut my Barbie's head off.
And look.
They ripped my teddy apart!
Oh my goodness. That's not good.
- I'll have to have a word with them. - [Mari continues sobbing]
This is completely unacceptable.
My family is tired of you.
They're terrified.
Son, do you think anyone here would ever hurt your family?
We're all so glad that you're here.
Right, family?
[all] Yes! Of course.
I know, Dad, but I have to believe Mari and the kids.
It's probably a matter of customs.
Your wife and children are rich and spoiled,
they're not used to our country ways!
Excuse me?
I'm sorry to be blunt,
but your wife has a serious drinking problem.
She hasn't stopped drinking since she arrived.
Mom, I've been married to her for 15 years.
In all that time, she's never been drunk.
Let me be clear, as soon as I sort things out with the notary,
hopefully tomorrow, I'm going back to the city!
You got it?
Mr. Panchito, this is so awkward,
but before you go back, I need to ask you a favor.
What is it?
Hilario and I, we want you and Mrs. Mari
to be the godparents to our kid.
Are you crazy, Pánfila?
Pancho is going to be the godfather to my twins.
You're both fucking crazy.
I spoke with Uncle Ambrosio and reserved the church
so Pancho can be there for my twins' baptism.
You hags! Don't talk to my wife like that!
Besides, Pancho already agreed to produce my album. Right?
But first, lend me some money to buy a few cows first?
Screw that! Lupe and I need money to hire more girls for the brothel.
No way! He's lending us the money for a truck and a gun that works.
This one doesn't shoot!
[all clamoring]
For fuck's sake!
If you can't be civil about this, you can all fuck off!
Thanks, Dad.
You're acting like vultures, circling a carcass.
The only person Pancho is helping is me.
We're going to reopen the mine.
He already promised, didn't you?
- Dad, what are you-- - [Pascuala] Damn it, Pancho.
Don't be a moron.
Tell them all to fuck off.
If you were smart, you'd leave tonight.
If you don't, before you know it,
this sorry group of bloodsucking pests
will leave you naked, asshole.
- [laughs] - Ignore her, she's senile.
No, Grandma Pascuala is right.
I made a huge mistake coming back here.
I'm leaving! I'm leaving!
- Wait! - [all clamoring]
Hold on! Come back!
I told you, you fuckers.
I hope we didn't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.
Yeah.
[gentle harmonica music playing]
[groans]
[sighs]
We're finally home.
Thank God.
I thought we'd never leave that goddamned town.
I hear you, honey. We're never going back to Prosperidad,
and we'll never have to see my dreadful family again.
Uh-huh.
[all] Surprise!
What's up, Pancho? What took you so long?
I hope you don't mind but we made ourselves at home
and we made you a nice welcome back lunch.
Praise the Lord you got home safe!
You see, Pancho?
I told you that you'd never get rid of us, you bastard!
[mariachi whoops]
[band playing "Jarabe Tapatío"]
No, no, no. Not like this. No, no, no...
- No, no, no... - Fran.
[knocking on door]
- Fran. - No, no...
- Fran! - Ah! No! What?
Wake up.
There's a police car outside. I'm too afraid to go answer the door.
- Go see who it is. - All right.
Oh my God.
- [exhales] - [knocking continues]
[police siren chirping]
[sharp knocking]
[Pancho sighs]
What's going on? What's all the fuss about?
Sorry to bother you so late,
but we really need your help!
What happened?
They caught that idiot Rufino selling drugs in the town square
and your cousin Reginito wants to put him in jail.
The problem is that this is his sixth offense.
That gorilla wants to send him to a federal prison.
If he does, no amount of gold will get him out.
Well, let me talk to Reginito.
Give me a fucking break.
God bless you, son! God bless you!
- Ai! - I'll be right back.
Brother-in-law, thank you so much. You're such a good man.
He's a hardworking, honest man. What is he accused of?
Good evening, Commander.
What's up, Pancho? Did your parents explain to you what your brother did?
Yes. Yes, they did. That's why I'm here.
Is there any way we can clear this up?
Look, Pancho, the crimes your brother is being charged for are very serious,
I can't let him go for less than ten grand.
Brother! My soul brother. You're such a good man.
Pay him what he wants, I promise to pay you back.
I only have three grand, so it's up to you.
Take it or leave it.
Damn it, Pancho.
You're taking advantage of me because we're relatives, you bastard.
Let him out.
[Rufino] Thank you, bro.
[Pancho blowing]
[Rufino] Seriously, thank you. You're an angel, man.
I promise to pay you back. I'll give you double!
Come on, boys!
MUNICIPAL POLICE
[rooster crowing]
Morning, sleepyhead. Why are you up so late?
What do you mean, Mom?
You guys kept me up all night.
Can I make you some breakfast?
Some eggs? Chilaquiles?
No, Mom, I don't want anything.
Listen up so that you can pass it on.
I'm not asking anything of you, and I hope you won't ask anything of me.
Once I settle everything with the notary,
I'm leaving forever, did you hear me?
Yeah...
Morning, son!
What's gotten into him?
I bet it's something he ate.
I know how to cheer him up.
Follow me, son.
Sorry, brother-in-law! I'm so embarrassed.
I didn't know you were here.
Don't worry, I'm almost done.
So, listen.
We're so very grateful for what you did last night.
Rufino and I would like to show you our gratitude.
Don't worry, sis. With some luck, he'll pay me back one day.
Why wait?
Rufino sent me to give you an advance.
Oh my God.
What's going on?
Fuck it. Why not?
Come here.
[moans]
[Pancho grunts]
- Hold on. - Come on.
Do it.
[both moan]
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, yeah.
Keep going. Keep going.
[Pancho muttering] Assholes.
[sighs]
- Pancho. - What is it, honey?
Can't you go find the notary? We've been waiting all day.
Find him where exactly?
It's getting dark, Pancho, and the roads aren't safe.
Remember your friend Mapache and his men?
- I'll be waiting. - Okay. Okay.
[Mari huffs]
[Pancho] There he is.
- There he is, he's arrived. - Ah.
- [boy] The safe is here! - [Mari] Help me with the luggage, Lupita.
The safe is here! It's here!
Lupita.
Good afternoon, Mr. Reyes.
Good afternoon, sir. I'm glad you finally made it.
[sighs] Sorry about the delay.
To be honest,
it is not easy moving this monstrosity your grandfather left you.
- I can see. It's enormous. - Yes.
- Do you have some ID? - Of course.
Let's see.
What are we going to do...
- Perfect. - Thanks.
Aside from the safe,
I have to give you the deed to the property
and a letter your grandpa left you.
Yes.
Where should we do the paperwork?
You can go in the dining room.
No, thanks. We need privacy. This way.
Boys, unload the safe!
Keep an eye on them.
Have them put the safe in our room. It won't fit in our car.
- We'll figure something out. - Okay.
[Pancho] This way, sir.
[Mari] Gentlemen? Follow me, please.
This way.
Thanks.
Move, kids.
Rufino, Hilario, Rosendo!
Give them a hand.
What do you think is in that huge safe?
Who knows, woman. But I'm going to find out.
Get out of the way, Cruz! You're not helping!
Maybe we can strap it to the top of the car?
No, the roof would collapse.
[man] Here it comes!
How will we get it home?
Careful with the boards!
It's on the edge.
[indistinct shouts]
[cheering]
[safe clanking]
Let's go! Come on.
Thank you, boys.
May I borrow your pen?
- Yes. - Thanks.
- Here's the complete file. - Thank you.
- Your grandfather's letter. - I appreciate it.
- Your pen. - Right.
I hope you don't mind a piece of advice.
From my experience,
you should be very careful.
If you only knew half the things I've seen,
or what some families are capable of doing for an inheritance,
you'd take my advice.
Thank you very much, sir.
I'll leave you to it.
- Excuse me. - Go ahead.
- Please. - Clear the way.
Lupita, would you mind giving us a moment?
- Yes, sir. - Do you need a hand?
- Come on, Pancho... - Excuse me. Thank you.
Excuse me.
They are relentless.
Kids, close the windows. Make sure no one sees. Okay?
[both] Yes, Dad!
Keep watch, kids.
Yes, Dad.
[Pancho sighs]
"Dear Pancho, I suppose if you're reading this,
I'm probably dead and burning in Hell."
"If that bastard Buendía followed my instructions,
my whole estate is yours."
"At this time, you must be standing before the safe."
"Here are the instructions to open it."
"Follow them precisely
and prepare yourself for what you are about to see."
Help me?
Here it goes.
Um, to the left, 42.
Right, 84.
Left, 10.
[Pancho] Left, 10...
To the right, 31.
[lock clicks]
[grunts]
Nothing but garbage.
- Give it to me. - Trash.
Grandpa's leg.
- Oh my God. - It still smells weird.
- Dirty old man. - Ugh.
Give me that.
- Pancho. - Trash.
My grandfather's pistol.
I wonder how many he killed?
- Let's put it away. - Yeah.
I'll take that.
- Look, some wristwatches. - Watches.
His old medals. We might get some money for those.
Super vintage.
- [knocking] - Hear that, Mari?
[Mari gasps]
[upbeat classical music playing]
- [gasps] - Fucking Grandpa.
I knew he had something, but I never expected this.
Mari. Mari!
- Mm! - Mwah!
- Wow! - Hurry!
- [laughing] - Oh!
Pancho!
It's beautiful.
[breathes shakily]
Fucking Grandpa!
[kissing]
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
[whimpering excitedly]
How much do you think this is worth?
Twenty million pesos just for the coins.
The bars are probably 1.5 million each. Plus, there's more in there.
Mari, we're rich!
Not rich, Pancho. We're millionaires!
- Mwah! - Oh my God.
We can pay off our debt and buy a house, a car.
We can change our lives.
Not only that, honey.
We can finally change our social status!
[all scream]
[music continues]
[yelling happily]
[Dolores] What are they doing?
They're going crazy. The safe was full of gold!
- [all gasp] - They're putting it back in the safe.
Are we rich now, Dad?
Yes, son. We're rich!
[excited chatter]
Try to count how many bars there are.
[Rosendo] Twenty or so.
Plus a bunch of nuggets, maybe two pounds each.
Also, coins! Lots of coins.
Pa, is there enough coins for all of us?
Most definitely, sweetie. For all of us.
"Anyway, my dear Pancho,
I bid you farewell, wishing you the best
and hoping you continue honoring the Reyes name."
"With all my love, Grandpa Francisco."
"P.S. As a token of love and appreciation,
I hope you build me a bigger and better mausoleum
than the one Benito Juárez is in."
"Be very careful with your relatives."
- Put it in the safe. I'll go talk to them. - Yes.
Okay. Pancho's coming!
Act natural.
Wait for him to tell us the news himself.
Hurry up, Socorro.
[groans]
What's going on?
Why do you look so serious?
It's nothing, son. We were just talking.
We're very sad about how things went down with you.
So we wanted to apologize before you leave.
- Right, my family? - [all] Yes.
No hard feelings, Pancho. Forgive us.
Don't worry about it.
Time and distance heals all wounds.
I came to tell you that we're leaving tomorrow morning.
Stay a few more days.
I promise we won't bother you.
I'm really sorry, Mom. I've made up my mind.
Believe me, I deeply regret how everything turned out.
Mari and the kids send their love and thank you for your hospitality.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything.
Thank you and all the best.
- My son... - Hey, Pancho!
Just so I don't take the mystery to my grave,
what was inside your grandfather's safe? Hmm?
[Pancho] Exactly what you thought, Grandma.
Uh, old letters, photographs,
some panties, a brassiere, and a few trinkets.
Don't worry, I'll leave it open
so that you can go through it.
Sounds good, dear.
Safe travels.
Thank you, Grandma.
- God bless you. - Bye. Ciao.
- Bye, kids! - [all] Bye.
That hypocritical fifí!
Just as petty and miserable as his grandfather!
[indistinct chatter]
Come on, you bastards!
Now what?
Are we just going to sit here and watch Pancho leave with our gold?
[all] No!
Then let's show him what the Reyes are made of!
Yes!
[knocking on door]
[Lupita] Mr. Pancho! Come quick!
Your car is on fire!
- Open up, sir! - [continues knocking]
- Open up! - I'm coming! I'm coming!
- What's going on? - Your car is on fire.
- What? - I don't know what happened.
[Mari] The car! Pancho! No!
[Lupita] No, kids, come here with me.
Did you see anything?
No, sir, I was asleep in the barn
and all of a sudden, the animals just went crazy.
I started smelling smoke and I came outside running.
Then I saw your car going up in flames
and I ran to tell you.
- Are you lying to me? - No, sir.
Look me in the eye!
I swear I'm not lying!
Motherfuckers!
They'll be sorry for this! I'll put them all in jail!
Mari, check over there. I'll check the house.
- Careful. - [Mari] Selfish fuckers.
[Pancho] For fuck's sake!
Come out! Where are you?
Jealous bastards!
- [Mari] There's no one here, Pancho - Nobody is here! Nobody!
Those bastards are hiding. They're up to something.
- Honey, come with me. - Okay.
Lupita, stay here and keep watch.
If you see anything suspicious, find me.
- Yes, sir. - As fast as you can!
I'll be right back, sweeties. Don't be afraid.
- Let's go. Let's go. - Be careful.
[Cati crying]
[explosion]
Burning his car was a great idea.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Why don't we kidnap Pancho's children
and demand the treasure as ransom?
I could look after the kids.
Don't be stupid, Ambrosio!
If we kidnap my grandkids, they'll know it was us.
We came to you because you know the Bible,
and that thing is full of fucked-up ideas!
How about poisoning them like Elisha poisoned his sons?
Or cook them over coals like Saint Lawrence!
What if we ask Regino? He might have some ideas.
Are you crazy, Lola?
If Regino finds out about the treasure,
he'll find a way to keep it all.
We have to decide on something today.
With that fortune, Pancho can buy 100 cars.
How are we going to get this back to Mexico City?
Not only does it weigh a ton,
we can't just get on a bus with all this fortune.
My dear, we're not taking a bus.
We just need to hide it from those vultures.
Okay. And then?
We'll go into town tomorrow,
buy a new vehicle,
go pick up the gold,
and head back home.
Any idea where to hide it without anyone knowing?
Oh, Mari...
I have it all planned out.
But just in case, I'm going to take this.
I feel sorry for any of my relatives
if they try something.
Like Grandpa Francisco would've done,
I'll put a bullet through their skulls.
Let's go.
Lupita. Hey.
Lock the door and don't open it until we return. Okay?
- Yes, sir. - Kids, behave.
Listen to Lupita. Let's go.
I promise that no matter what happens we're never coming back to Prosperidad
and we're never going to see my awful family again.
What if we burn their feet, like Cuauhtémoc?
What if we just killed them
and buried them behind the house?
- Don't kill them, Dad! - Not even as a joke, Rufino.
Pancho and his family share our blood.
Anyone who hurts them will answer to me.
What should we do, then?
Honestly, you're all idiots.
We'll settle it the old way,
like they did in the Revolution.
We're part of the noble masses,
and we outnumber those stuck-up fifís.
We'll go into Pancho's room and take the safe.
If he catches us,
we'll say we just wanted to look at Grandpa's photos,
because we miss him so much.
What do you think?
Mother, you're a saint.
Mom. [laughs]
- Ah... - [kisses]
It's exactly 27 steps from that log
heading towards that pole.
- We're going to leave all the gold? - Yes.
Seeing as my family has lost their minds,
it's best to remove the temptation altogether.
If they burned our car, they're capable of anything.
[panting] Let's go.
Let's go. [groans]
[sighs]
Come on.
- Are you okay? - [Mari] Yes.
[indistinct whispering]
[mysterious music playing]
[loud clattering]
- Ah! - [Mari screams]
- [gunshots] - [men groaning]
[indistinct shouting]
Are you alright?
What happened here, guys? What happened?
[Rufino] He shot me! He shot me!
What happened?
[screaming]
Lupe!
He shot me in the arm!
Lupe?
- [panicked chatter] - [groans]
Ah!
[Jacinta] Lupe!
Lupe! Get up, Lupe.
Oh, Mom! [sobs]
He's dead.
Murderer!
Damn you, Pancho!
You killed my Lupe, you bastard.
[continues sobbing]
You killed my Lupe, you bastard.
Murderer!
- Pancho. - [Jacinta sobbing] Help him.
Pancho.
[indistinct shouting, sobbing]
Lupe!
[muttering]
Let me help you, Socorro!
Everything will be okay, dear!
[grunting]
[ambulance siren wailing]
- [police siren wailing] - [Pancho] It's going to be okay, dear!
It'll be okay!
[Pancho groaning]
[grunts]
I'm sorry, Pancho. You're fucked.
No amount of money will get you out of this mess.
They broke into my room! I acted in self-defense!
Remember, I already read you your rights,
so anything you say can be used against you.
We'll take your statement soon.
No. No. No.
No. No!
[panting]
One more.
That's enough, let me try again.
You got it, Dad.
Come on!
- [grunting] - Give it!
It's impossible to open.
Have you checked to see if the safe is unlocked?
I told you!
[Rufino] Is there another gun in there?
Maybe a revolver? No?
Let me see.
There it is.
Nothing! Fuck.
I knew Pancho was smarter than the rest of us.
God is punishing us.
That's what we get for being greedy.
What a tragedy!
If the treasure's not here, where did Pancho hide it?
Who knows, woman?
And after last night, he'll never tell us.
What now?
We should try to be there for Jacinto.
I mean, Jacinta!
They must've released Lupe's body by now.
- He shouldn't be alone. I mean, she. - Yes.
Or they?
Let's go.
All right.
- Mom. - Huh?
Are you coming to the cemetery?
Why the fuck would I go to that piece of shit's funeral?
If there ever was a silver lining to this,
I'd say Pancho did us a favor,
killing that pimp, Lupe.
He was worse than gonorrhea.
- Well, watch the kids then, Mom. - All right.
All this drama isn't good for them.
Give Jacinta a hug for me.
[Rosendo] Sure thing, Mom. Come on, let's go!
I swear it was self-defense, Godfather.
[clicks tongue] I believe you, godson.
The problem though is that homicide,
despite extenuating circumstances,
is fully prosecuted regardless.
How long will the trial last?
Oh! In this town,
six to eight months before we even get a court date.
I see.
If they find me guilty, how much time will I get?
It depends on the judge.
In my experience, though,
probably a minimum of three to five years.
[sighs] Three to five years?
That's not counting the other people you shot.
No one will believe it was an accident.
Five years? Godfather, please!
I'm begging you to help me get out of here.
- You know I love you. - I do.
Luckily, in this country there still is nothing that can't be solved
with a lot of money.
How much do you think Grandpa left you?
Including what's in the safe.
You know about Grandpa's treasure?
This town has a lot of thieves
but no secrets.
I know it's a fortune.
Well...
to be honest with you, I don't really know.
I found some gold nuggets, and some gold coins.
I'd say it's around...
three or four...
five million on the high side.
That's it?
Godfather...
I swear.
I believe you.
Your wife is waiting outside.
Tell her to bring it as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, I'll see what I can do to help you out.
The whole treasure?
I thought the president had ended all corruption.
Godson! You're insulting me.
None of it is for me!
There are plenty of people who haven't committed
to the transformation of the country!
Think of all the bribes.
For the judge, the ministry, the attorney general.
I might even need to lend you money to help you out.
Forgive me, Godfather. Sorry.
I swear I'll give you the whole treasure,
but you need to help me get out of this place.
Very well.
Tell your wife to bring it to me
and I'll call in some favors to get you out of here.
Thank you, godfather.
May God bless you.
He's all yours.
Fucking hell.
[playing "Las Golondrinas"]
[Rosendo] I'll open the gate.
Come on! Now!
Do something.
That's it.
[continues playing]
Pancho.
- Pancho. - You have a visitor.
My love!
- How are you, my dear? - My love.
Not great. I'm worried, desperate.
Why don't we hire a lawyer to handle this?
Imagine the kind of lawyer we'll get in Prosperidad.
Okay. So, what's the plan?
I have to give the gold to Uncle Regino.
- What? - I know. I know.
I don't like it. What if we do it and he keeps you here?
I can't stay in this hellhole for five years, Mari.
We have to risk it.
I hope you're right because I'm not staying here that long.
Listen.
- Get the shovel. - Yes.
And dig out the treasure.
But only take out one bag.
Leave the rest where it is.
And this is very important, Maria Elena,
be very careful with my family, those vultures.
[Reginito] Pancho!
The rules say no whispering. Cut it out.
[sighs]
The kids?
Outside, waiting with Lupita.
They wouldn't let them in. Official visiting hours are over.
All right.
- Do what I said. - Okay.
Hurry up, and I might be able to get out today.
- Okay, dear. - Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes. - I love you.
That's a good plan.
- Okay. - Be careful.
- Please, hurry. - Okay. Pancho!
[trumpet bleating off-key]
Hi there, blondie.
Do you know how many years
my murdering grandson is going to get?
Old witch.
Ah. [laughs]
Help me, kids. You too, Lupita.
We're getting a few things.
[trumpet continues]
Brayan!
Come here.
What is it, Grandma?
[whispering] Go watch them and see what they're doing.
[Brayan] Come with me.
[Mari] Sixteen, 17, 18, 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24,
25, 26, 27...
in the direction of the pole.
I hope this is it.
Give me a hand, Lupita. Bring the pickaxe.
Yes, ma'am.
Kids, find something to help me.
Yes, Mom.
[Mari grunts]
- What are we looking for? - Don't ask.
- Mom! Mom! - Just help.
- Give it a go. - Okay.
Here it goes.
That's it.
[grunts] The soil is really hard.
Try the pickaxe.
- Again? - Yes.
[groaning] We need to loosen it.
Come here, kids.
[grunts]
Keep going.
I need you to help me find something.
If we find it, I'll give you each a dollar.
Go on!
It's hard.
- Hold on. - Keep digging.
You too.
You say the madame is going crazy
digging holes everywhere?
I think she's looking for Uncle Pancho's treasure.
Run to the cemetery
and tell your grandpa.
Don't let anyone else hear you!
- Hurry! - Yes, Grandma.
Uncle.
Everyone should see this as a lesson.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Like with Sodom and Gomorrah,
God has punished your greed.
[Jacinta sobs]
Let us pray.
[all] Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou
and blessed is the fruit...
Hey, Ambrosio!
Aren't you going say a few words about the deceased?
A eulogy for that pimp?
Who's paying for that, Rosendo?
You should be grateful for my good will and coming to say the rosary with you.
[sobs loudly]
- Lupe! - [all continue praying]
Take me with you!
Girl. Girl!
Let's fucking pray!
[sniffles]
Hail, Mary, full of grace...
[all continue praying indistinctly]
[whispering] They're looking for the treasure. Come back.
Run home.
Apparently they're looking for the treasure. Go and see.
- [Ambrosio] Our Father who art... - They're looking for the treasure.
The treasure.
- What's wrong, Mom? - Son, the treasure...
[whispers indistinctly]
Hail, Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou among women
and blessed is your fruit...
Now what? Where did everyone go?
I apologize for my family,
but apparently Mari is looking for the treasure
and everyone went to see.
Rest in peace. Amen.
My daughter, that's all from me. Stay with your husband.
I'm going to your house to prevent another tragedy.
- No, Uncle... - God bless.
- See you, Jacinta. - Socorro!
- God have mercy! - Girls.
Bartola, help me.
Wait for us, Uncle. Wait for us.
We're coming too.
[Jacinta] Baby, I'll be back soon.
You know how those assholes are,
If I don't hurry, they'll take it all.
By the sign of the Holy Cross...
Wait for me!
[Mari grunts]
[shovel clangs]
[grunts]
What's going on, Mari?
Can we help you?
Oh, Rosendo.
We buried the treasure here, but I can't find it!
[sobs]
If we don't give Regino the treasure,
he won't let Pancho out of jail. [sobs]
My goodness.
And... why didn't you mark the spot?
We did! But I can't find it.
It was dark and I don't know where it is now.
Everything looked different and now I'm lost.
Don't worry.
If we all pitch in, we'll find it in no time.
- [Mari continues sobbing] - Come on.
Go to the house and get shovels, pickaxes, hoes, and wheelbarrows.
My daughter-in-law needs help!
- [all] Yes, Dad. - Hurry up!
[Mari groans, sobs]
Let me help you.
You take a break.
One, two, three, four, five...
[melancholy music playing]
[faint panting]
Mari.
My life, my love.
What took you so long?
It was a nightmare finding the treasure.
First, we couldn't find it.
But then, thank God, your family helped, so we finally found it.
At least you're here now and this will be over soon.
- I know, my love. - Let's see.
Mari.
Mari, where's the gold? These are just rocks.
Oh, Fran.
Please forgive me, but I've decided what to do with the gold.
What I've always dreamed of.
Houses, cars, jewelry,
yachts, clothes.
- Mari, don't do this to me! - [chuckles]
Forgive me, but an opportunity like this
only comes once in a lifetime
and this is mine.
[kisses, blows]
Bye.
No, Mari.
Please don't do this to me, Mari.
- Bye. - Mari, please don't do this!
[sobbing]
Mari! No! No!
- [loud banging] - Ah!
[guard] What were you dreaming? You were screaming.
Nothing, Officer.
Hey, any news from my wife or my relatives?
No, sir, nothing.
Thanks.
[jaunty music playing]
What's going on, buddy? Why all the fuss?
Haven't you heard?
Apparently, Rosendo's son
buried a huge treasure on the property.
Whoever finds it first gets half.
What if someone finds it and keeps quiet?
Well, I guess they'd keep it all.
- Okay, let's do this! - Come on.
Let's see who finds it first.
All right.
- Dig deeper. - What the hell?
Isn't your arm hurt?
Get to work!
- Come on. - Give that to me.
[moans]
What's up?
Found anything?
Nothing, Rosendo.
With all these people making new holes,
we may never find it.
- This place is unrecognizable. - Don't worry.
We know all these folks, they're honest people.
I'll make sure we don't stop until we find that treasure.
Mari, my dear. I brought you food and water.
What if we don't find it
and Pancho gets locked up for five years?
Oh my God. He must be desperate.
I'm going to find the spot right now.
Right now!
[music continues]
Reginito, any news from my wife?
Nothing.
My dad is very pissed off about the delay.
What's taking her so long?
Rumor has it, the treasure's lost.
They can't find it.
What if you let me out so that I can find it myself?
Are you nuts? What if you don't come back?
- Not in your dreams! - Well, could you ask my godfather?
I told him and he said
if they don't find the treasure in 24 hours
I should take you directly to the state penitentiary.
You've been warned.
[Pancho sighs]
For fuck's sake!
What could've gone wrong?
- Here's something! - Ah!
[gasps]
Let's see.
Let's see, Rosendo, bring that over here.
[rooster crows]
It is... it is the skull of Fulgencio.
Look. [laughs]
Mom, how can you tell that? It could be anyone.
What about this, asshole?
I was there when your father shot him in the head.
[sniffs] And it still smells like him.
[Rosendo] Who was this Fulgencio?
Why did Dad shoot him?
He was my boyfriend
and one day your father caught us,
so he shot him eight times,
but this one was the good one. This was the one.
[groans]
Where are you going, Mari?
This is insane.
We didn't bury it that deep.
I don't think we'll find the treasure soon, maybe never. [sighs]
I should go see Pancho
and tell him the situation
Maybe he has an idea.
Don't worry, my girl.
I swear on the Reyes name,
I'll keep digging until I find it.
No matter how long it takes!.
Let's go, kids.
Come on.
My handsome man.
Wake up, bastards! We're just getting started!
Come on, Rufino, Hilario, Socorro, Jacinta!
You too, Bartola! Let's get to work.
We're exhausted, Dad!
[groaning]
I'm at my wit's end, Pancho.
[sobs] And I can't stay with your family. They're the worst, Pancho.
Just take the kids and go back home.
No, I can't leave you here!
If you return to the city, we'll have more options.
We could get a loan, pawn something off, or hire a good lawyer.
I need you to tell Jaime what's going on.
The last thing I need is to lose my job.
Pancho, I can't just leave you here.
It won't be good for our children to go back without their dad.
All right, kids.
What do you want?
Do you want to go home with Lupita and Mom?
Or stay at your grandparents' and wait for Dad to get out.
I want to go home today, Dad.
I don't want to stay in this stinking town.
- See. - Pancho, step back.
I'll let you say your goodbyes.
That's enough.
[Pancho] Don't forget how much I love you.
Don't forget.
Yes, I remember.
Bye.
[Mari sobbing] Bye, my dear.
Bye.
Say goodbye to your father.
- Say bye. - Bye.
- Bye, Dad. - Let's go.
[sobbing]
Goodbye, Mr. Rosendo and Mrs. Dolores. Give my regards to everyone.
I beg you to never abandon my Pancho.
Don't worry.
Let's go, Lupita.
Ma'am, I'm very sorry to tell you this... [giggles]
...I'm staying here.
Rosendito proposed and I said yes!
Have you thought this through?
Of course.
- So, we'll be relatives soon? - [Lupita] Mm-hmm.
- Congratulations. - Thank you, sis.
We'll send a wedding invitation soon.
- Safe travels. - [Lupita] Bye, Cati.
[Cati] Bye.
Bye, Toni. Come visit, okay? Be good for your mom.
Let's go, kids.
Come on.
Get in.
- Bye. - Hey, Mom.
- So Lupita is our aunt now? - Is she, Mom?
Don't even joke about that. You're dead if you tell anyone.
- [turkey gobbling] - [goat bleating]
[Mari sobbing]
May God bless you!
Godson, with all my heart, I am truly sorry you're in this situation.
I talked to the judge. He said no money, no dice.
I've been locked up for over ten days!
My family hasn't stopped looking for the treasure.
Just let me out of here. I swear... [kisses]
I know where it is.
Oh, I wish I could!
Those times are over.
If the judge finds out my relative got special treatment,
we'd both be fucked.
I'm begging you, Godfather.
Look. Name your price.
Anything!
Just get me out of here.
[tense music playing]
Are you sure, Pancho?
Anything.
I'd sell my soul to the devil to get out of this place.
Officer.
Send in the notary.
Tell him to bring the contracts.
[music continues]
[Brayan] Look!
Uncle Pancho's here!
They let him out!
Grandpa! Grandma!
They let Uncle Pancho out!
Pancho Francisco Reyes!
It's so good to see you free, son!
Pancho, you're nothing but skin and bones!
- Can I make you something to eat? - No, thanks, Mom.
You didn't return to the city with Mari?
No, sir.
I've moved in with Rosendito.
We're engaged and we're expecting.
God makes them and the devil pairs them.
What's up, Pancho?
Did you drop the soap in prison?
Or did you manage to keep the family's honor?
[mutters] Fucking Grandma.
Go on now, you fucking fifí.
[brays]
Come on, bastard.
Kids, get dressed!
Get shovels and pickaxes. Let's go help Pancho!
[indistinct chattering]
Twenty -three, 24, 25, 26, 27.
[grunting]
See, you assholes!
Mari wasn't wrong. This is the right spot.
Grab your shovels and let's help him--
Know what, Dad? I'd rather do it alone. Huh?
If we all start digging, we'll never find it in the mess.
Can we stick around to keep you company?
For moral support.
[all agree]
[music continues]
[Pancho grunting]
Good afternoon, Grandma.
Oh. Uh...
Did Pancho find the treasure?
No, Grandma. Nothing yet.
I think that the gold is lost forever,
and that sucker is just completely delusional.
Don't say that, Grandma. His heart is set on it.
God willing, he'll find it one of these days.
Pancho should stop giving a single fuck,
go back from where he came, and leave us alone.
We were better off without him.
You're always so mean.
Don't you fear God?
Fear God? You are the ones whom should fear Him.
Instead of doing honest work get out of this misery,
you're sucking up to that fifi to see if he throws you a bone.
Hmm?
Come on, girls. Beans don't cook themselves.
[mocking] "Come on, girls. Beans don't cook themselves."
[panting]
Son, it's getting late.
Get some sleep and start again tomorrow.
No, Dad.
I'm not leaving until I find that treasure. Okay?
I have a feeling I'm getting close.
I'm very close.
[Rosendo] Okay, son.
See you tomorrow and good luck.
[Pancho grunting]
[Rosendo] Come on.
[Pancho] Pickaxe, pickaxe...
[melancholy music playing]
[grunts]
[rooster crows]
- [rooster crows] - [dog barks]
[groans]
[rooster crows]
...in case he finds it.
So much tragedy!
[Pancho grunts]
[rooster crows]
[melancholy music continues]
We'll pray for him.
[grunting]
[indistinct chatter]
[firework exploding]
[carnival music playing faintly]
[melancholy music continues]
My son! Please stop.
Please!
We can't help him anymore.
[groans]
[melancholy music continues]
[Ambrosio] Hail Mary, full of grace,
blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit...
[all] Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners...
[Ambrosio] God, grant him eternal rest and let perpetual light shine upon him.
May our Pancho's soul
and those in Purgatory, forever rest in peace.
- [all] Amen. - Hey, Ambrosio.
Isn't it a bit much to declare him as dead?
- Our son is alive. - Of course we haven't declared him dead.
Just like St. Anthony, Pancho has the devil in him.
It's up to us to save his soul.
The doctor said there's still hope.
Oh, Dolores, 20 days and nights
without food or sleep,
digging that infernal hole.
And lying here another ten days like St. Simon.
Do you really think he's going to wake up?
What about a miracle?
If anyone, you should believe in those.
Rosendo, don't be naive.
God grants miracles to good people,
and in this family,
maybe just one of the grandkids will be spared from Hell.
Shut your mouth, bird of ill omen!
Oh my God, so much tragedy.
Why did this happen to us?
- Yes... - God, please...
grant us a miracle.
[gasping]
[panting]
I'm leaving.
I'm getting out of here and going back to my family.
[exhales deeply]
- It's a miracle! - [all chattering]
- A miracle! - Blessed be God.
Protect him, Jesus.
[melancholy music playing]
- Goodbye, brother. - God bless.
Thanks for everything. You're a good man.
Give our love to your family.
See you at the wedding.
[chuckles] Sorry I let you and Mrs. Mari down.
I spoke to my sister for her to come help you out.
Don't worry. Mari and I will figure it out.
God help you and keep you safe.
Tell Mari about the miracle so that she knows He exists.
[kisses]
"The dusky swallows will return..."
Pancho.
If you're ever in town and feeling sad, call me.
My brother, my soul brother.
I wish you luck. I hope you can rebuild your life. Eh?
[clears throat] Pancho. Thank you for getting rid of Lupe for me.
This is all I could recover from your things.
I love you a lot and I'll miss you.
Give my love to my niece and nephew.
[sobs]
I'm finally leaving, Grandma.
I guess you're happy to get rid of the upper class.
I may have won the battle
but I lost the war.
Just for today,
let's make a truce and give me a kiss
since I'm sure we won't see each other again. Hmm?
Bye, Grandma.
God bless you.
Don't hold anything against us.
Come back soon.
Don't worry, Mom. All is forgiven.
Bye, Dad.
I truly wish you all the best.
I hope you'll forgive me one day.
What's there to forgive?
We're blessed to have a son as good as you.
I promise you that, even if it costs me my life,
I won't give up until I find your treasure.
Even if it takes me forever and a day.
Forever and a day!
Bye, Dad.
Goodbye, kids!
[all] Bye.
Goodbye, kids.
[sobbing] Bye!
[Pancho] Bye.
[Hilario singing] ♪ How far I am From the ground where I was born ♪
Good luck.
[Dolores sobbing] Pancho.
♪ Immense homesickness ♪
♪ Invades my thoughts ♪
[continues singing]
[song fades]
[Pancho] Fucking Grandpa.
I'll always wonder if you did this on purpose,
or if it was just bad luck that fucked up our lives.
But knowing you as well as I did,
I'm sure none of this was a coincidence.
Wherever you are,
I'm sure you're laughing your ass off,
as you watch our lives crumble around us.
In honor of your memory,
and better than then a mausoleum like Benito Juárez's
that you wanted so much,
I'm going to do something to make you proud.
Something you will never forget, Grandpa.
[chuckles]
- [farts] - [groans]
[farts]
What's this, Pancho?
You're leaving without saying goodbye?
It's time I leave, godfather. And hopefully for good.
[sighing] Did you find anything?
No.
What a shame.
But I'm glad you stopped the madness
and recovered your sanity.
Look.
Here's a copy of the contract, certified by the notary,
in case you want to look it over.
There's no need.
All I ask is that you're not too tough on my family.
Who do you take me for?
Pascuala is my mother.
Your father shares my blood,
and I adore your siblings.
- See you, Commander. - Bye, Pancho!
This is goodbye, Godfather. Look after my family.
Don't worry about that.
The well-being of the poor is the Government's priority.
Luckily, our family falls on the right side of history.
They're part of the noble, wise masses.
Godspeed.
All right.
- Godfather. - Yes?
Don't take this the wrong way,
but for some reason this government reminds me a lot of the previous ones.
- Well, let me-- - [bus door slams]
Fucking spoiled fifí.
The nation will put him in his place.
Let's pay a visit to the family
and tell them to leave immediately.
- Sure, Dad. - Let's go.
[grunting]
Hey, Dad.
Lunch is ready. Shall we wait or go ahead without you?
Let's go, son.
Did you find anything?
No, my dear.
But I'm sure if we keep digging,
we'll eventually reach China.
Let's go.
Careful.
[indistinct chatter]
Lazy, good-for-nothing sons of bitches.
- Dad. - For fuck's sake.
Morning, Mom.
Is this all that's left?
At least they ate already, because we have nothing left for tomorrow.
Mr. Rosendo, I can go look for some cactus for you to eat.
Okay then, my girl.
Damn you a thousand times, Francisco Reyes!
This is all your fault.
You better be rotting in Hell.
And I hope your shitty grandson, Pancho joins you soon.
Enough, Mom.
What's the point of crying?
Mr. Rosendo, come quick! Now we're really screwed!
- [police siren wailing] - Run for your lives!
The police are here.
[Rosendo] It's that bastard Regino, he's trying to evict us.
Mom, give me your gun.
Son of a bitch.
Uncle Rosendo!
Surrender peacefully and without resistance.
Come on, kids. Let's face this fucker!
[police siren chirping]
[rooster crows]
Surrender peacefully and without resistance.
We have a judge's order for immediate eviction!
You're an idiot.
You'll have to kill us all
before your asshole of a father takes our house from us.
Evacuate the property!
Or I'll have to take action!
I repeat, Uncle!
Leave or I'll have to use police force!
Don't be stupid, Rosendo!
Don't endanger your family.
Evacuate the house immediately
or I'll send in the cops and knock the house down.
- Fuck you! - Oh, no!
[women screaming]
[gunshots]
Advance!
[Reginito continues yelling]
[rhythmic banging]
Motherfuckers.
- [pounding on door] - [clamoring]
Son's of bitches!
Let me go!
Let go of me!
Get out of here, fuckers!
Assholes!
Damn you, fucking Regino!
I swear on Dad's memory that this isn't over.
Sooner or later, you and that traitor Pancho
will pay for this bullshit.
[sirens wailing]
[people shouting]
[Regino] Come on, son.
All this is finally ours.
[sirens fade]
Let's get to work.
[upbeat classical music playing]
[man in English] Praise the Lord!
It's the treasure the Mayor was looking for,
we finally found it.
It was right under our fucking noses.
I'll go give the news to Mr. Reyes.
[in Spanish] Mr. Reyes.
Good news.
Come with me, please.
We found what you were looking for.
[in English] Thanks a lot, mister!
[in Spanish] I knew that Pancho's treasure would show up, sooner or later.
[man] Your nephew was very close to finding it.
He was off by half a meter.
- Some people are born unlucky. - [laughing]
Yes, I agree.
[man] I have even better news.
I doubt it's better than this.
Look what else Pancho was about to find.
A gold-bearing vein in the Esperanza mine.
Apparently, your brother Rosendo was right all along.
I'm sure it's one of the largest veins ever discovered.
Praise the Lord.
Thank you my dear Rosendo and Pancho!
May God bless you!
God bless you!
Excuse me, Mayor.
I also have some bad news.
What?
You're forgetting the contract you signed with us.
All this is ours.
No!
No, I didn't sign anything!
- This gold is mine. - I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sir. But the law is the law.
- No. - You signed the contract. Sorry.
I'm getting an injunction!
The gold is mine!
It's mine, all mine! [laughs]
[man in English] Fucking Mexicans, all the same shit.
[wheezing]
[man] Alex, call an ambulance.
It seems the Mayor's having a fucking heart attack.
Once again...
[heavy machinery beeping]
How much longer will they keep us locked up here?
It's been over two months.
Who knows, Lola.
I guess Regino and Reginito forgot about us.
We might stay here forever.
Stop whining.
At least we're getting three meals a day!
All right, family.
Get your things, you're free.
- [Dolores] Praise the Lord. - [Rosendo] Hey!
Why did your shitty father keep us here for so long?
Please don't disrespect me
and don't speak ill of my father.
He's in serious condition at the hospital.
They named me interim mayor, I'm in charge now.
So you better hurry up
before I change my mind and add two more months.
No, no, no.
What's with you, Ambrosio? Where's the robe?
I heard God's voice again,
like when I was a child.
He told me: "The Roman Church is in ruins."
"The Bible has always contained the answer,
Jesus Christ is our savior."
The apocalypse is near,
so take this opportunity granted by our new mayor
and go out into the light
before he changes his mind, sinners!
Out!
I've said it before,
this family is worse than the plague!
Oh!
[melancholy music playing]
[coughs]
NO TRESPASSING US-CANADA MINING CO.
ESPERANZA MINE
Here.
Look, Dad. You were right.
Grandpa's mine had a mountain of gold!
[Dolores] What are we going to do now?
Poor Mexico.
So far from God
and so close to the United States.
Damn you, Pancho Reyes!
We have no house, no dreams, no hope.
Meanwhile, that bastard is living like a king!
[exhales]
[woman on PA] Francisco Reyes. Francisco Reyes.
You're requested in the Director's office.
Francisco Reyes. Francisco Reyes.
Can I go?
To the Director's office.
[knocking on door]
[Jaime] Come in!
Come in, Pancho. Come in.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon, Norma.
Norma has been saying that you've been trying to meet with me.
What is it?
First of all,
I'm very grateful you agreed to see me.
I'm also grateful for the opportunity to continue working at the factory with you.
Don't thank me,
thank Norma.
She finally revealed her treasure
and convinced me to not fire you.
Uh... Eh...
Thank you, Norma.
Is that it?
No. I also wanted to ask you
if there's any chance I can ever get my old job back?
Look, Pancho, don't come to me with that bullshit.
Be grateful I didn't fire you like you deserved.
After walking away from your job,
you deserved to have my shoe print on your ass.
Luckily, I already sold the company to the fucking gringos,
so they're the ones who'll decide what the fuck to do with you.
Could you recommend me to the Americans?
Ask your fucking mother to recommend you.
Or that commie president,
who the poor like you love so much.
Good thing I'm emigrating before he ruins the country,
and turns it into Cuba or Venezuela.
If that's all there is, fuck off!
Neither the gringos nor I pay you to stand around.
Thank you for the opportunity.
And thank you, Norma.
You're welcome, sir.
My goodness!
Don't blame the pig, blame those who feed it.
[bell ringing]
What's up? See where you ended up?
Didn't I tell you?
- What goes up, must come down. - What?
- What? What?
Ah!
[rings bicycle bell]
- Fuck you! - Up yours!
[melancholy music playing]
FOR EVERYONE'S GOOD, THE POOR COME FIRST
THERE ARE MORE OF US EVERY DAY!
FOREVER AND ALWAYS - AMLO PRESIDENT 2024 - 2030
[jet engine whooshing]
[music continues]
Hello, family. I'm home.
Pancho, I'm glad you're home.
A piece of the roof fell off and we have another leak in the bathroom.
How did it go?
Not great.
I met with Jaime.
- But he turned me down. - Mm.
Oh, well. That's life, my love.
- I have a surprise for you. Right, kids? - Yes.
Hmm. [chuckles]
[all] Surprise!
Hi!
What's up, Pancho? What took you so long?
I hope you don't mind us making ourselves at home.
We're moving in with you!
- No. - Thank God you made it home safe.
[Mari] Cheers, Pancho.
Have a shot of tequila to welcome your family!
You see, Pancho.
I said you'd never be able to get rid of us, you bastard! [laughs]
[Rosendo] Pancho, stop being so fifí! Come celebrate with your family.
Because your failure is our happiness!
Cheers to that!
And long live Mexico, fuckers!
[all] Long live Mexico!
[band playing "Jarabe Tapatío"]
[Hilario whooping]
[music continues]
- No! My family! - Pancho.
- Fuck, Pancho! Wake up. - Oh, man.
Another nightmare?
Oh, Mari, I had the worst dream ever. It was so frightening.
I've told you so many times.
You have to see a doctor, this isn't normal.
Stop fucking around and let me sleep.
I am so hung over.
[Pancho moans]
Oh, man.
[loud clattering]
[all complaining]
- Pancho, please! Don't be inconsiderate! - Shh.
You're so loud, we're trying to sleep.
- [chicken clucking] - Damn it.
[donkey brays]
Shh!
[baby crying]
[cow moos]
[turkey gobbling]
[Mari sighs]
[melancholy music continues]
[mariachi whooping]
["México lindo y querido" playing]
["Canción mixteca" playing]
Subtitle translation by: J. Cameron