1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,048 (grand orchestral fanfare playing) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,656 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,539 (dogs barking) 6 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,418 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,971 (birds chirping) 8 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:57,266 ("Follow You" by Dave Sarazen playing) 9 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,313 REGGIE: Today is gonna be the best day ever. 10 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,815 How do I know that? 11 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,650 Because every day is the best day ever. 12 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,735 I love my life. 13 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,947 I love sunshine, I love butterflies, 14 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:16,243 but more than anything, I love Doug. 15 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,412 - (barking) - Hey! 16 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,247 Shut the fuck up. 17 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,416 Fucking piece of shit. 18 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,751 REGGIE: That's Doug, also known as 19 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,503 the best owner in the world. 20 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,463 - (barks) - (mocking grunt) 21 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,216 I still remember the first day we met. 22 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,844 She was, too, flirting with you. -(Reggie barks) 23 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,179 (gasps) Hey, babies. 24 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,890 REGGIE: The second Doug laid eyes on me, 25 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,226 we knew we were meant to be together. 26 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,894 (sighs): Fuck. 27 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:46,273 REGGIE: Ever since that day, he and I have been inseparable. 28 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,775 Why is Doug so great? 29 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,193 - Where do I begin? - Get down. 30 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,571 He loves being around me so much, 31 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,781 he doesn't even have a job. 32 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,702 Also, Doug doesn't get me boring dog toys. 33 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,829 He lets me come up with my own toys. 34 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,247 Hi, Reggie. What you got? 35 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,458 REGGIE: Like this stretchy thing. 36 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,793 - What the fuck? - Uh... 37 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,919 Those aren't mine. 38 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,796 There is a simple explanation. 39 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,381 This was supposed to be a Christmas present. 40 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,549 Doug, it's July. 41 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,051 REGGIE: Sometimes I worry 42 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,969 if I'm doing a good job making Doug happy. 43 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,721 - You don't get it. - I'm done. Reggie. 44 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,806 REGGIE: But then I realized I do make Doug happy. 45 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,142 What are you doing? You don't even like the dog. 46 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,144 I love this dog. (smacking lips) 47 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,729 REGGIE: And that makes me happy. 48 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,482 (sighs) -All that matters is that you like him, 49 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,734 and I like that you don't get to have him. 50 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,612 You are a total fucking loser. 51 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,822 - Yeah, a loser with a dog. - (door slams shut) 52 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,658 REGGIE: Honestly, the only thing in the world 53 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,370 that Doug maybe loves more than me 54 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,373 is his favorite toy: his penis. 55 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,166 He gives it haircuts. 56 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,626 He watches TV with it. 57 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,336 WOMAN (over computer): (moans) Flip it around! 58 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,587 Stop staring. You're ruining it. 59 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,631 REGGIE: And the way he pets that thing, 60 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,258 sometimes I wish I was a penis. 61 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,843 But every time I try to play with it, 62 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,678 he gets so possessive. 63 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,180 Get off! Get-- Bad dog! 64 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,890 REGGIE: The key to any good relationship 65 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,266 is having things in common. 66 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,518 We both like barking. 67 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,978 - (coughing) - (barking) 68 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,148 We both love a good scratch. 69 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,817 (Doug sniffing) 70 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:18,657 And we can stay up all night just talking for hours. 71 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:19,991 (groans) 72 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,952 You fucked up my life, didn't you? 73 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,204 REGGIE: Even though I don't understand what he's saying... 74 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:28,208 She never would've found out if it wasn't for your dumb ass. 75 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,544 REGGIE: ...I can tell he loves me. 76 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,962 (knocking at door) 77 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,382 And while I don't know that many human beings, 78 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,301 I think it's safe to assume he's one of the best. 79 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,429 (sighs) Goddamn it. 80 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,930 It's bullshit, Mom. 81 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,390 They're kicking me out 82 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,142 'cause your last check wasn't enough for rent. 83 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,310 REGGIE: You might say Doug is messy, but lately... 84 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,312 DOUG: No, I'm not gonna move back home. 85 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,689 REGGIE: ...he's been much better 86 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,023 at putting his toys away. 87 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,483 No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look. 88 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,026 It's just, you know that I can't 89 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,237 live that close to a school. 90 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,323 No! 91 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,497 Bad dog! That's my favorite fucking bong, dude! 92 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,251 (sighs) 93 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,631 Oh. You like that ball, don't you? 94 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,676 REGGIE: Lately, Doug has been playing 95 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,179 a brand-new game with me called fetch-and-fuck. 96 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,513 Fetch! 97 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,015 REGGIE: Basically, Doug drops me off 98 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,808 really far away... 99 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,518 Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee. 100 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,813 REGGIE: ...throws the ball and drives home without me. 101 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,024 Then it's my turn to get the ball 102 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,609 and find my way back home. 103 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,486 When I bring the ball back, 104 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,196 - he says... - Fuck. 105 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,240 REGGIE (laughs): And that's how I know I won the game. 106 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,533 DOUG: Fetch! 107 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,578 REGGIE: We've been playing it a lot lately. 108 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,079 - DOUG: Fuck! - Sometimes we play it 109 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,956 three or four times in the same day. 110 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,166 DOUG: Fetch! 111 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,502 - (Reggie barks) - (sighs): Fuck. 112 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,295 Fetch! Fuck! 113 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,506 Fuck! Fuck. 114 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,052 Holy fuck! 115 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,470 REGGIE: "Holy fuck" is right. 116 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,721 I win again! 117 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,598 That's it. 118 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,018 This ends now. 119 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,603 ("Shine on Me" by Dan Auerbach playing) 120 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:14,022 ♪ You only got a couple miles to go ♪ 121 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,066 ♪ If you're trying to drive me insane... ♪ 122 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,527 REGGIE: These road trips are the best. 123 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,987 Because you get to see the exciting world 124 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,614 outside our town. 125 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,786 Keep driving, Doug. 126 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,996 Don't make it too easy on me. 127 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,541 (chuckles) I love a challenge. 128 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:36,294 ♪ 'Cause I hide from everyone ♪ 129 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,713 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 130 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,675 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 131 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,428 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 132 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,723 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 133 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,770 This round's gonna be the hardest one yet, 134 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,857 because we went way further than we've ever gone before. 135 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:01,111 In fact, I have no idea where we are. 136 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,612 And that's exciting. 137 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,322 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 138 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,908 ♪ Shine on me... ♪ 139 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,953 I know the world seems like a scary place sometimes, 140 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,580 but I don't worry. 141 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,123 Good luck fetching this. 142 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,667 REGGIE: Because I'm always safe at Doug's side. 143 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,502 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 144 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,588 (tires squealing) 145 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,550 (fading): ♪ Shine on me. ♪ 146 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,772 ♪ ♪ 147 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,330 ♪ ♪ 148 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,632 REGGIE: Sure, Doug really challenges me with this game, 149 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,301 but that's just because he believes in me. 150 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,261 (thunder rumbling) 151 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,055 You know what they say. 152 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,516 The best relationships are the hard ones. 153 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,519 You have to put in the work. 154 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,397 - (clattering) - You got to have courage. 155 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:23,193 And you always need to remember that real love... 156 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:27,072 ...is never easy. 157 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,376 ♪ ♪ 158 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,888 But even though I love this game, 159 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,724 I kind of want it to be over. 160 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,102 Because, well... 161 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,646 I really just want to be home. 162 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,613 (horn honks) 163 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,158 (dog barking nearby) 164 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,161 Okay. Time to get moving. 165 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,831 (singsongy): Going back to Doug's. 166 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,960 (siren wailing in distance) 167 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,837 (muffled): This is a nice neighborhood. 168 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,463 - (cat yowling nearby) - (clattering) 169 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,382 I like all the trash. 170 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,842 And the needles. 171 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,844 So many needles. 172 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,096 FEMALE VOICE: Hey, honey. 173 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,598 You ever been with an Afghan before? 174 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,602 REGGIE: Uh, no, I-I don't think so, but thank you. 175 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,066 Well, well, well. What do we have here? 176 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,359 You lost? 177 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,570 Hi there, uh, big dogs. 178 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,613 Yes, I am lost. 179 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,198 I'm trying to get to Doug's place. 180 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,033 Do you... do you know which way that is from here? 181 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,452 Hmm... 182 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,953 - You say Doug's place? - I did. Yeah. 183 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,955 Oh, yeah, yeah, I know which way that is. 184 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,123 Oh, great. 185 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,958 Right up my fucking ass, you little shit. 186 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,626 Oh, no, that can't be right. 187 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,880 O-O-Okay, well, I'll just be on my way. 188 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,174 Uh, can-can I please have my ball back? 189 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,135 Your ball? You'll be lucky if I let you leave with your life. 190 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:15,013 Hey! Who in the fuck is making all that noise 191 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,056 - in my fucking alley? - Whoa, who's this guy? 192 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,767 Oh, you don't want me to come around 193 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,643 this fucking corner, now, do you? 194 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,604 Shit's gonna get crackin'. Trust me. 195 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,481 You want to dance, motherfuckers, huh? 196 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,940 You want to dance? 197 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,318 Let's do this. 198 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,570 What's up, bitches? Huh? 199 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,821 Oh, he's tiny. 200 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,198 The shadow-- I thought he was... 201 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,574 I thought he was fucking big. 202 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409 Yeah, we can destroy this guy, right? 203 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,120 Yeah, go ahead, bite me, you raggedy motherfuckers. 204 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,455 I dare you. 205 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,332 You know how many diseases is up in me? 206 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:45,001 Rabies, scabies, whatever disease you can get 207 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,795 from tongue-fucking a dead squirrel. 208 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:50,173 Which I did last night 'cause I'm crazy, man. 209 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,216 (sputters) 210 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,009 That's a 37-inch vertical. 211 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,969 I'm-a tell you right now, you run up on me 212 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,722 and I'll stick this paw right up your ass and in his, 213 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,599 - like a shish kebab. - Whoa. This guy seems nuts. 214 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,601 Look at the way he's barking at his own ass. 215 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,019 I'll do it. I'll do it. 216 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,604 I'll bite my own ass off! 217 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,065 Oh, man, the fuck is wrong with this guy? 218 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,942 I'm so crazy I'll fuck the trash. 219 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,318 You like it, don't you? 220 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,444 (grunts) You like it. 221 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,654 You want to get recycled? 222 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,155 Anybody got a twisty tie? 223 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,032 'Cause I'm fucking this bag up. 224 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,283 Okay, who's next? 225 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,785 He's freaking me out. Let's bounce. 226 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,829 Fight you or I'll fuck you! Dealer's choice. 227 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,039 But either way, you're getting worms. 228 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,374 (laughs) 229 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,292 Large breeds, man-- these motherfuckers. 230 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:30,004 Man, look, always falling for that crazy little dog trick. 231 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,256 Hey. You with me, kid? 232 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,507 'Cause this block ain't for dogs like you. 233 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,758 We should get the hell out of here. 234 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,385 But my tennis ball... 235 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,220 Ah, fuck it. We'll get you another one. 236 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,183 (dog barking nearby) 237 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,936 I'm Bug, by the way. You got a name? 238 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,145 Oh, uh, right. Sorry. 239 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,397 It's good to meet you, Bug. 240 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,690 M-My name is Shitbag. 241 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,983 What? 242 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,860 Oh, it's short for Dumbass Shitbag, 243 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,571 but sometimes Doug pronounces it Fucknugget. 244 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,156 Uh, none of those sound like names. 245 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:01,369 Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend used to call me Reggie. 246 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,830 Reggie. There you go. Yeah, we're gonna go with that. 247 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,164 Let's keep moving. 248 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,458 So, uh, how long you been a stray for, Reggie? 249 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,669 - Oh, I... no, I'm not a stray. - Oh, you're not? 250 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,754 I-I'm just out here temporarily. -Oh. 251 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,381 I actually have an owner. 252 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,925 We're playing this game where he drops me off far away... 253 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,135 - Mm-hmm. - ...throws a ball... 254 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,303 - Right. - ...and then it's my turn 255 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,762 to bring the ball back home. 256 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,431 (laughing) 257 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,433 (Reggie chuckling) 258 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,101 (both laughing) 259 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,603 BUG: Holy shit. 260 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,479 - Yeah. - That's, uh... 261 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,939 (stammering): I'm sorry, man, 262 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,608 but that's incredibly tragic. 263 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,276 And the funniest fucking thing 264 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,236 I've heard in a long fucking time. 265 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,863 Well, I'm glad you're having a good laugh. 266 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,115 Take it from me, kid, that owner of yours, 267 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,326 he's not playing any game with you. 268 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,369 - He left your ass, okay? - Huh? 269 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,955 You are officially a stray. 270 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,206 D-Don't call me that. 271 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,833 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 272 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,711 I'm a stray, and I'm having the time of my life. 273 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,630 You'll learn. How old are you? 274 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,839 I'm two. 275 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,342 Well, I'm three, and I have seen it all. 276 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,635 Paw to God. 277 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,887 I once saw a dog that was half Labrador 278 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,388 and half poodle. 279 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,265 - A-A labradoodle. - No, no, no, no. 280 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,975 - A poo-dor. - A poo-dor? 281 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,185 The other way around. 282 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,811 - Even fucking weirder. - Yeah. 283 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,314 Point is, life out here on your own 284 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,651 can be fucking awesome as long as you go by the rules. 285 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,986 Well, what rules? 286 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,321 Rule number one: 287 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,239 You want something, you pee on it. 288 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,075 Whatever you pee on, it's yours. 289 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,368 Let's try it out. 290 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,911 You-you see that lamppost over there? 291 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,996 Yeah. -Why don't you go over there and pee on that? 292 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,539 And you're sure this is okay? 293 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,458 Go ahead. Ain't nobody giving a fuck. 294 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,585 You're a fucking stray now. That's my point. 295 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,130 Well, I'm-I'm not a stray, but yeah, okay. 296 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,507 Congratulations. 297 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,759 You now own a lamppost. 298 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,011 Oh, wow. 299 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,846 Now, let's talk rule number two: 300 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,182 You can pretty much fuck whatever you want. 301 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,017 Have you ever humped anything before? 302 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,103 Well, I wouldn't say I've humped, per se, 303 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,355 but I do like to dance on Doug's leg. 304 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,898 Dude, that wasn't dancing. 305 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,609 Baby, you was humping-- the devil's dance. 306 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,904 But now the world is like a buffet 307 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,073 - for your tiny dog dick. - Really? 308 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,283 You know what? I recently fucked this couch. 309 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,576 - No. - Mm-hmm. 310 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,286 Best sex of my life. 311 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,788 - Wow. Really? - Yeah. 312 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,373 Oh, a-a-and she's dirty, too. 313 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:11,874 Oh, well, I-I can tell. 314 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,127 Looks like she hasn't been washed in years. 315 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,045 (smacks lips) I'll see you later, baby. 316 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,217 It was nice to meet you. 317 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,554 Now, rule number three, 318 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:28,182 and this is the most important, bar none: 319 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,477 You are on your own. 320 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,729 That's awful. 321 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,147 That's not a bad thing, all right? 322 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,815 Now, right now you're freaking out 323 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,942 'cause you feel like, you know, y-you need this Doug guy. 324 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,194 - I do. - But no, no, trust me. 325 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,654 You don't. 326 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,157 Humans trick us into thinking that we need 'em, 327 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,242 but they're just brainwashing us, man. 328 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,287 Point is, you ain't got to deal with that shit no more, okay? 329 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,830 You a stray. 330 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,915 You can do anything you want now. -I don't know. 331 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,001 Come on! Repeat after me: 332 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,420 I can do anything. 333 00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,173 I can do... anything? 334 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,591 Damn fucking right you can. 335 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,260 Now, you want to see how fucked-up humans can be? 336 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,720 Come on. 337 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,767 BUG: Look at these motherfuckers here. 338 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,477 A bunch of pet dogs 339 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,645 losing their minds over their 15 minutes of freedom. 340 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:19,233 God! If only our wolf ancestors could see these pussies. 341 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,111 Follow me. 342 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,072 Now, why are these humans so desperate to keep us? 343 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,532 - Because they love us? - No, no, I-I got a theory. 344 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,910 - They need us for our poop. - Huh? 345 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,369 BUG: Watch that lady. Watch her. 346 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,913 - See? See? - REGGIE: Uh-huh. 347 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,165 BUG: It's like they're collecting it for something. 348 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,750 REGGIE: What do you think they're doing with it? 349 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,418 I think they're using it to make chocolate. -Oh. 350 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,212 Have you ever had a piece of chocolate? -No. 351 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,547 Exactly. Come on. I'm gonna introduce you to my homeys. 352 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,925 I thought you said these dogs were all losers. 353 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,635 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit. 354 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,553 - Hey, losers. - Hey, Bug. 355 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,139 Oh, if it isn't the tiny dog who caught the car. 356 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,474 I did catch that car. 357 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642 No, everyone knows that's impossible. 358 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,893 Yeah, it was parked. 359 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,645 Yeah, it parked after I caught it. 360 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,480 No, there was no one in the car. -Yeah, no one in the car. 361 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,565 Listen, I don't even have to keep this conversation going. 362 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,818 What I was trying to do, losers, 363 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,320 was introduce you to my new friend Reggie. 364 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,613 He just got dumped. 365 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,490 Aw. Sorry, mate. Welcome to the club. 366 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,283 Uh, sorry. Was it at least mutual? 367 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,576 Oh, no, it-it's actually just a game. 368 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,828 Reg, I want you to meet Hunter. 369 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,079 He's a therapy dog 370 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,081 who works in a home for dying humans. 371 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,500 Which sounds like an okay gig, 372 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,252 except that he was trained to be a police dog. 373 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,671 You almost made it to the police squad? 374 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,172 - That's awesome. - (chuckles) 375 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,924 Yeah, I-I guess it's awesome. 376 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,843 Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy! 377 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,511 Oh, uh, sorry about that, Bubsy. 378 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,596 Hunter, say something back, mate. 379 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,431 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um... 380 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,852 Hey, Bubsy, you got any fucking... weekend plans? 381 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,895 What? It still sounds friendly. -REGGIE: You got him. 382 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,272 Yeah. Raw-dogging your mom. 383 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,191 Ah, right. Well, I'm pretty sure she's dead, 384 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,443 - but good luck anyway. - Pussy! 385 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,779 (chuckles) Love those observations, Bubs. Take care. 386 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,030 Hunter, get your weight up. 387 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,115 Don't let him talk to you like that. 388 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,491 You're the biggest dog here. 389 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,826 You should eat his freaking face off, 390 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,369 shit it out and then eat it again. 391 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,954 Bug, you know I don't love confrontation. 392 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,831 Yeah, don't let the big dick fool you. 393 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,291 He's just a gigantic pussy. 394 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,042 Whoa. 395 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,460 It is a great penis. 396 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,337 Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean, 397 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,298 do my best to lick it as much as possible. 398 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,883 Yeah, the only thing thicker than Hunter's dick 399 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,718 is the sexual tension between these two. 400 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,845 - Oh, come on. (chuckles) - Bug, no. What? 401 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,889 - That's funny, though. - Yeah, right. Imagine. 402 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,308 (chuckling): "Thicker than Hunter's dick." 403 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,726 - But no, no. - No. 404 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,645 Now, Maggie, on the other hand, is one bad bitch. 405 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,731 But sadly, her owner Jenna thinks 406 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,233 the badder bitch is the puppy that replaced her. 407 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,611 So, Bella looked at me like, "I want a cupcake, too," 408 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,571 so I was like, "I'm gonna get her a cupcake." 409 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,948 - I am so here for that. - Right? 410 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:34,660 So, Jenna said, "Sit," which I did. 411 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,078 But then I thought, 412 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,830 "Wouldn't it be cute if I acted all confused 413 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,957 and tilted my head like, 'Huh?'" -Oh, my God, stop. 414 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,376 Man, sure got to suck to compete with that. 415 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,045 No, it's fine. (chuckles) 416 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,172 Bella's young and cute and fun, so of course Jenna loves her 417 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,924 more than me right now, and I get that. 418 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,468 Cool. Anyways, I was thinking, if you guys are free later... 419 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,511 But what I really don't get is why Jenna thinks 420 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,472 it's so adorable when she spins around in circles. 421 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,057 Like, I could do that in my sleep. 422 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,600 But you know what? It's totally fine. It's fine. 423 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,143 Mm, okay. -You know what? It doesn't get to me 424 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,311 so much anymore. 425 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,646 I'm fine. I'm not jealous or worried 426 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,064 or angry or depressed or confused 427 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,649 or fuming or unhinged at all. 428 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,192 Yeah, you seem totally fine. 429 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,777 And now that Jenna's spending so much time with Bella, 430 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,654 it's given me a chance to do a little self-care. 431 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,239 Like, I've been going into the digging. 432 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,823 I really like the feeling of the soil under my nails. 433 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,367 I'm just, like, out in the fresh air again. 434 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,785 I'm just really connecting to the land. 435 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,370 No, I'm-I'm learning I love digging. 436 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,248 I love digging! I love it! I love to dig! 437 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,000 (clears throat) 438 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,210 - What-what's happening? - See, Reg? 439 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,795 Aren't you happy to be a stray now 440 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,880 and not have to deal with all that owner bullshit? 441 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,174 Well, no, as I said, I'm not a stray. 442 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,551 Doug and I are just playing a game. -Mm-hmm. 443 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,470 Look, why don't you come out with us tonight? 444 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,806 And you can learn how beautiful it can be 445 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,474 when you're off the leash. 446 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,978 If I can't convince you that being a stray is great, 447 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,312 - scraps night will. - HUNTER: Sure will. 448 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,772 - MAGGIE: Yeah. - Well, thank you, 449 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,816 but I really should be getting back to Doug. 450 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,150 What? Why? 451 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,485 So I can make him happy. 452 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,028 Isn't that a dog's purpose? 453 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:53,447 Don't you ever say that again! 454 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,741 - (groans) -Here we go. - Reggie, your purpose 455 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:59,578 is not to make some stupid human families happy. 456 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,873 It's not to make some single loser feel more complete. 457 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,084 Your purpose is to do... 458 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,962 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Whatever the fuck you want. 459 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,547 And when you are a stray... 460 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,424 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: There's a lot to fucking do. 461 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,134 Why do I feel like there's an echo in here? 462 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,677 'Cause you've said this a million times. -I know. 463 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,429 - I love that spiel. - HUNTER: No, it's fine. 464 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,680 It's fine. -You write your own fucking speeches, okay? 465 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,681 - Okay. - MAGGIE: Yeah. 466 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,558 Now, what do you say, guys? 467 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,643 - Another scraps night? - BOTH: Yes. 468 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,187 All right, meet at the pizza place at sundown, 469 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,065 and we gonna fuck shit up. 470 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,567 ♪ Get wild... ♪ 471 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,986 ("Get Wild" by Prismo featuring Ohana Bam playing) 472 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,198 So, what is scraps night? 473 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,451 It's that one magnificent night of the week 474 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,994 where humans are a lot more willing 475 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,621 to give us food or drop it accidentally or both. 476 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,874 That stuff that they're dropping is gold. 477 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,501 Oh. I just feel like we're gonna get in trouble, though. 478 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,794 No, we're cleaning up. 479 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,421 These fuckers love it when we clean up. 480 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,922 BUG: Wait for it. 481 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:54,717 Wait for it. 482 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,801 MAGGIE: Drop the fucking pizza, bitch. 483 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,053 BUG: That's the one! 484 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,512 - Let's do this! - (Reggie yelps) 485 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,806 ♪ I-I-I-I'm with all my dogs ♪ 486 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,558 ♪ Finna fuck the city up ♪ 487 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,144 ♪ Keep a pocket full, got these bitches wanna hit me up ♪ 488 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,771 ♪ Drinking by the pool ♪ 489 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,606 ♪ Doing drugs, is you lit or what? ♪ 490 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:09,815 ♪ Making hella noise... ♪ 491 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,109 This water is making me dizzy. 492 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,196 Oh, it's about to get real dizzy up in this bitch. 493 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,572 Oh, I don't mind feeling dizzy. 494 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,948 - MAGGIE: Pace yourself, Reg. - I like it. 495 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,408 (echoing): ♪ Get wild ♪ 496 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:26,123 (echoing): ♪ Get wild ♪ 497 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,378 BUG: Chester, for the last time, 498 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,962 there's no fucking fence there. 499 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,464 Just come out with us. 500 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,715 I can't. 501 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,134 I'm telling you, there is a magical fence there. 502 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,844 You just can't see it. 503 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,179 - Come on, Chester. - Chester! 504 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,098 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Chester! Chester! 505 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:46,102 Honestly, that is persuasive, and I don't know why. 506 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,478 ("Chester!" chant continues) 507 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,605 Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. 508 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,273 Stop being a pussy, and do this. 509 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,274 Okay. 510 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,484 (whoops) Run! 511 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,152 BUG: Chester! 512 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,695 - BOTH: Chester! Chester! - MAGGIE: Come on! 513 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,280 You've got it, Chester! You've got it! 514 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,824 - (electrical crackling) - (screams) 515 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,575 - (Reggie gasps) - (Maggie whooping) 516 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:02,868 Goddamn! 517 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,538 It's real! The magic fence is real! 518 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,374 ♪ Big dog status, big dog baggage ♪ 519 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,210 ♪ Big dog, fuck it, I got big dog habits ♪ 520 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,213 ♪ See, I'm going hard in the paint, doing damage ♪ 521 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,716 ♪ Big dog tell me do it, look like I'm average... ♪ 522 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,344 Oh, yeah. You gonna get it. 523 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,720 Somebody been naughty. 524 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,305 You a naughty owl. You a little naughty owl. 525 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,640 (hooting) 526 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,933 You're right, Bug. 527 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,518 I like this humping. 528 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,687 Bug, can I try your owl? 529 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,314 I told you scraps night was gonna be off the chain, baby. 530 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,775 - I'm having a great time. - Ain't this about a bitch. 531 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,485 Look at this motherfucker right here. 532 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,112 What you want? Huh, homey? 533 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,697 I'll rip your motherfucking nuts off. 534 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,407 - Come on, let's go. - Pointy-eared motherfucker. 535 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,783 Come on. It's not worth it. 536 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,493 - HUNTER: There you go, Reg. - I'm doing good? 537 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,579 Give it to him. Give it to that gnome, Reg. 538 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,497 Tell that gnome you're his daddy. 539 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,499 Hey, gnome, I'm your father. 540 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,126 - It's good to finally meet you. - Uh, Reggie... 541 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,794 Even under these strange circumstances. 542 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,129 - No, Reggie. - Reggie! 543 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,213 Oh, you can't get me. 544 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,882 Aha, ah-- I'm too fast for you. 545 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,884 I'm too fast for you. This motherfucker is keeping up. 546 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,094 Come on, let's go. -Who your little bitch-ass friend 547 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,637 with the motherfucking home perm and shit? 548 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,347 - What did you just say? - There you go, Reg. 549 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,849 Don't you look at me like that. -Get up in his ass. 550 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,851 I would hate for this to get violent. 551 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,352 I didn't know I had a son. 552 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,979 And he's a gnome of all things. -MAGGIE: Oh, Reggie! 553 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,023 God, shut up! -Does anyone want to hump my son? 554 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,400 He's handsomely dressed in a smart little tunic. 555 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,195 Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby. 556 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,779 That magic fence was legit. 557 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,323 I kept telling you! 558 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,992 What a weird thing a magic fence would be to make up. 559 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,410 I can do anything. 560 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,786 - MAGGIE: Reggie, don't. - HUNTER: Wait, wait. 561 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,079 - What's going on? - Reggie, no. 562 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,623 - Don't do it. - HUNTER: Reggie, no. 563 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,708 I can do anything. 564 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:35,586 Do not test the dark arts, kid. 565 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:38,797 ♪ ♪ 566 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,640 ♪ Get wild. ♪ 567 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,099 Oh, shoot! 568 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,559 - That was fucking amazing! - Incredible! 569 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,810 - Yeah! - MAGGIE: You did it! 570 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,312 - That's impossible. - HUNTER: Reggie! 571 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,147 I did it! I did it! 572 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,315 (laughter) 573 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,567 HUNTER: Oh, what a night. 574 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:02,613 Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your anus 575 00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,156 you're a great guy. 576 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,991 - You're a legend. - BUG: Yeah, baby. 577 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,744 I told you strays life is the best life. 578 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,037 Yeah, you got to admit, 579 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,914 it's fun to be off leash for a bit, right? 580 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,874 MAGGIE: Right? -Yeah, well, it is kind of awesome 581 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,501 not having to hold my pee for ten hours 582 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,003 - until Doug lets me outside. - (laughter) 583 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,797 And I like the sound of "legend" 584 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,257 a lot more than "shitbag." 585 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,758 HUNTER: Guys, I'm still peeing. 586 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,927 Wait, is that really what he called you? 587 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,471 And I really don't miss roasting in the car 588 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,306 when he stops at a store and he leaves me 589 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,100 with the windows cracked just barely enough 590 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,977 - for me to stay conscious. - MAGGIE (chuckles): Wait, what? 591 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,062 And I'm just panting, gasping for air 592 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:39,108 and trying to survive until he comes back in 45 minutes. 593 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:41,735 (chuckles) Classic Doug. Too funny. 594 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,612 (laughs, sighs) 595 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:47,700 So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street, 596 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,910 and you still think he's a good guy? 597 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:52,246 Yeah. I mean, if Doug doesn't like me, 598 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:54,748 why does he let me eat his leftover human food? 599 00:22:54,748 --> 00:22:57,001 So he doesn't have to buy dog food. 600 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,128 And why didn't he put a collar and tags on you? 601 00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:02,047 Because he doesn't believe in labels. 602 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,132 Oh, come on, Reg. 603 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,425 And the bandanna he gave me 604 00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:06,302 is way more special than a collar 605 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,971 'cause he used it for his penis sneezes. 606 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,055 - Ew. - Ew. 607 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,390 Doug loves me. 608 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,183 We have a good relationship. 609 00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,311 You just don't understand the situation, 610 00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:17,730 because if Doug's such a bad guy 611 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,816 and he-he left me on purpose 612 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:24,903 and he hurt me on purpose, that would mean... 613 00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:27,239 that would mean... 614 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,658 Doug doesn't love me. 615 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:36,373 Can, uh, you guys just give me a second? 616 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,753 ♪ ♪ 617 00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:44,882 Oh, poor little guy. 618 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,343 That is just the classic toxic relationship. 619 00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:50,179 I should probably talk to him. I am a therapy dog. 620 00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:51,764 Nah, give him some space. 621 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,349 Kid's been through a lot. 622 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,185 DOUG: That's what you fucking sound like, 623 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,686 you piece of shit. 624 00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,064 - (imitates Reggie's barking) - (Reggie barking) 625 00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:01,899 Oh, get off! Get-- 626 00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:04,318 Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog! 627 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:07,029 (echoing): Worst dog in the fucking world. 628 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:14,078 ♪ ♪ 629 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,289 MAGGIE: Hey, Reggie. 630 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,791 I know you're feeling hurt right now 631 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,876 and it's-- ugh-- must be so hard 632 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,378 to figure out what to do... 633 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:23,629 I'm going back to Doug's. 634 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,047 - What? - The fuck, man? 635 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,715 What's it gonna take for you to understand 636 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:28,926 that he's not playing a game with you? 637 00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,553 And I'm not playing a game with him. 638 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:33,097 Okay... 639 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:36,266 All my life, I felt like I wasn't worth anything 640 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:39,895 unless I heard those words, "Good boy," 641 00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,855 but they never came. 642 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:45,109 Well, he needs to know he's hurt me. 643 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,485 He needs to feel my pain. 644 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:49,071 And he needs to pay for what he did 645 00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:50,989 with the only thing he truly loves. 646 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,076 I'm gonna bite his dick off. 647 00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:55,911 - Oh. - Wait, did he just say bite... 648 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,496 Yeah, I-I'm still a little drunk, 649 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,665 but did I just hear you say that you were gonna... 650 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,626 I said I'm gonna bite his dick off. 651 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,671 - Oh, I'm 100% in for this. - HUNTER: No, no, no, no, no. 652 00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,715 Bug. Wait, wait, wait. Reggie, please. 653 00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:10,092 I feel you-- I really do-- but this-this is insane. 654 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:11,969 Yeah, like, maybe there's 655 00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:13,595 a metaphorical dick you could bite off. 656 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,264 Like-like-like you could pretend my dick is his dick, 657 00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,015 and you could give it a stern talking-to. 658 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:19,560 No, his dick-- no exceptions. 659 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,603 Playing with that thing was his favorite activity 660 00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:23,397 until he started putting things in boxes. 661 00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:25,566 MAGGIE: Boxes? -Oh, shit. That means he's moving soon. 662 00:25:25,566 --> 00:25:26,942 - Moving? Oh, God. - HUNTER: Oh, man. 663 00:25:26,942 --> 00:25:28,360 - Wh-What if we're too late? - Calm down. 664 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,903 We definitely don't have much time. 665 00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,864 Any places, smells, landmarks you remember 666 00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,157 on the road to get here? 667 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:35,451 Uh, I-I just... I-I remember passing 668 00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:37,327 an enormous hamster wheel. 669 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,329 - Okay, hamster wheel. - Uh, uh, a giant cone 670 00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,873 that looked like Hunter's. 671 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,374 BUG: Giant cone that looked like Hunter's. Okay. 672 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,334 And the... and the devil in the sky. 673 00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:47,212 And the devil in the sky. Boom! That's basically a road map 674 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,465 right to this guy's custard launcher. 675 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:51,133 Bug, there's no way. It's impossible. 676 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:52,634 Nah. No, no, no, not quite. 677 00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:53,927 Reggie's got no shot 678 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:55,596 of making it back in time on his own, 679 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:58,807 but if we all go, I got the street smarts, 680 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,601 you got the muscle, and Maggie's got 681 00:26:00,601 --> 00:26:03,312 a sense of smell so good she could sniff one asshole 682 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,898 and tell you what the guy ate three breakfasts ago. 683 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,816 - (sniffs) Bunch of nickels. - Exactly. 684 00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:08,817 She's incredible. 685 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,819 Guys, we can do this. 686 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,780 - No, there is no way... - I'm in. 687 00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,072 ...I am missing this. 688 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,365 Let's do it! 689 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,993 Really? You guys would do this for me? 690 00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:19,369 Hell yeah. We got your back, Reg. 691 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:20,871 - MAGGIE: Yeah. - BUG: All right, guys. 692 00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:23,749 Let's show these humans they can't toss us aside 693 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:26,418 without facing some bad fucking consequences. 694 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,711 Fellas. 695 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,630 Lady. 696 00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:31,840 Let's go get some dick. (howls) 697 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,175 (howling) 698 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:34,843 Howling. 699 00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,596 - Howl. Howling. - (others howling) 700 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,265 (clears throat) I'm just not a great howler. 701 00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:42,935 ("Check Yo Self" by Ice Cube playing) 702 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:45,813 ♪ Yeah, word is bond ♪ 703 00:26:45,813 --> 00:26:48,065 ♪ Das EFX in this, you know what I'm sayin'? ♪ 704 00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:50,818 ♪ Straight from the sewer, word is bond, yeah ♪ 705 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,694 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪ 706 00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,112 ♪ 'Cause I'm bad for your health ♪ 707 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:55,489 ♪ I come real stealth ♪ 708 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,908 Fuck you! ♪ Dropping bombs on your moms, fuck car alarms ♪ 709 00:26:57,908 --> 00:27:00,118 ♪ Doing foul crime, I'm that brotha wit' yo' Alpine ♪ 710 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:02,621 ♪ Sold it for a six-o, always let tricks know ♪ 711 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,915 ♪ And friends know we got the indo ♪ 712 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:07,960 ♪ No, I'm not a sucker sitting in a House of Pain ♪ 713 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,962 ♪ And no, I'm not the butler, I'll cut ya ♪ 714 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:12,214 ♪ This ain't no fucking motion picture ♪ 715 00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:14,967 ♪ A guy or bitch-a, I'll get wit' cha and hit ya ♪ 716 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,595 ♪ Taking that yak to the neck, so you better run a check ♪ 717 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,180 ♪ So come on and chickity-check yo' self ♪ 718 00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,975 Fuck you! ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, chickity-check yo' self ♪ 719 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:24,560 ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, boy ♪ 720 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,311 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪ 721 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,480 ♪ 'Cause shotgun bullets are bad for your health... ♪ 722 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,691 - (dogs howling) - HUNTER: Howling. 723 00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:32,067 Howling. 724 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,443 ♪ Check it. ♪ 725 00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:35,904 - (retching, groaning) - (song ends) 726 00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:37,865 Why didn't nobody tell us that dog journeys 727 00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:39,491 are so fucking exhausting? 728 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:41,243 - Yeah. - Oh, this is brutal. 729 00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:43,328 I was still drunk when I agreed to do this. 730 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,497 - Yeah, I'm hangry. - Yeah, I'm starving. 731 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,207 I just threw up over there, so there might be 732 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,334 something in there if you want to give it a... -Ooh. 733 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:50,669 Okay. 734 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,254 I bet that's some of the pizza from last night. 735 00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:54,089 BUG: Oh, yeah, lot-lots of good shit in there. 736 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:55,465 Oh, there's those nickels. (chuckles) 737 00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:57,092 Guys, we-we got to keep moving. 738 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,302 You can't miss this thing. 739 00:27:58,302 --> 00:27:59,970 It's like a giant hamster wheel 740 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:02,598 but without the hamster and it smells like hot dogs. 741 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,433 Smells like hot dogs? (sniffing) 742 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,894 This is her superpower. She's unbelievable. 743 00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:08,687 - Look at that nose. - REGGIE: You got something? 744 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,147 Wait a minute. 745 00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:11,732 Wait, d-do you smell that? 746 00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:13,108 I just smell plastic. 747 00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:14,526 (sniffing): Oh, yeah. Oh. 748 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:15,986 Yeah, I've got it. 749 00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:18,655 She's walking away. Should we follow her? 750 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,532 I'm gonna follow her. 751 00:28:21,491 --> 00:28:23,118 BUG: No, no, no, no, no. A sausage is the one 752 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,870 that looks like shit but it don't taste like shit. 753 00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,580 REGGIE: Okay. What is a hot dog? 754 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:27,956 Guys. Shh. Drop it. Look. 755 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:29,416 - What the fuck is this? - That's it. 756 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:30,918 The giant hamster wheel. 757 00:28:30,918 --> 00:28:32,544 - We're on the right track. - BUG: All right, guys. 758 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,880 We're on a time crunch, but Hunter's gonna die 759 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,632 if we don't get some food in him, okay? 760 00:28:36,632 --> 00:28:37,925 Maggie, you hang with Hunter. 761 00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:39,301 - MAGGIE: Gotcha. - HUNTER: Good plan. 762 00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:41,094 - Reg, you know what time it is? - Uh... 763 00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:42,679 - It's grub time. Damn right. - It's grub... yeah, grub time. 764 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,932 - Let's get some grub. - Let's get some grub. 765 00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:46,600 MAGGIE: This fucking place is weird. 766 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,101 HUNTER: So weird. 767 00:28:48,101 --> 00:28:49,561 BUG: I never really can understand humans, man, 768 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:51,188 especially, like, the lighter-shade ones. 769 00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:52,856 They some strange motherfuckers. 770 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:54,900 REGGIE: I was thinking the same thing. 771 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,402 - (barks) - Hey. 772 00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:01,907 Um... (chuckles) your dog messed up my shot. 773 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,076 - (dog barks) - Uh, I think he's telling me 774 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:05,911 I should pay for you to take another one. 775 00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:07,621 Oh, is that right? 776 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:09,081 Yeah, that's what... that's what he was saying. 777 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,999 - I promise. - (laughs) 778 00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:12,417 I wouldn't... I wouldn't make it up, 779 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,127 but he's a good... he's got good ideas. 780 00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,254 GUS: I could tell James felt different 781 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:17,923 about this human girl. 782 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:20,592 Maybe it was because she smelled like biscuits. 783 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,177 Or maybe it was because 784 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:23,887 something about her was special. 785 00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:27,099 Excuse me. Do you know where we can get some food around here? 786 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:29,851 GUS: As I was saying, 787 00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:32,437 James thought he was helping this girl, 788 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,691 but the truth is she was helping him. 789 00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:36,942 Oh, fuck this bullshit. 790 00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:38,193 Wait, what is he doing? 791 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:39,444 I've seen this shit before. 792 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:41,279 He's one of those narrator dogs. 793 00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:44,282 Hey! No one's listening to your lame human story, 794 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,742 you fucking dumbass. 795 00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:51,289 GUS: Sadly, the little dog was right. 796 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:54,001 No one was listening to my story. 797 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,586 Which is too bad because I'm the only one 798 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:59,756 who knows James is a cold-blooded serial killer. 799 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:03,427 He's got three bodies buried in the backyard already, 800 00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:05,929 but I guess no one's interested. 801 00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,180 I can't believe that dog. 802 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,640 He was so obsessed with his owner 803 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:09,891 he didn't even acknowledge us. 804 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,393 I'm-a tell you, kid, 805 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:12,853 the moment they leash you up, snip your balls 806 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:14,646 is the moment they got you by 'em. 807 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,190 Hold on. They snip your balls? 808 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,567 - Oh, yeah. - Ugh. 809 00:30:18,567 --> 00:30:19,943 And I think they're collecting those, too, 810 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:21,403 - to put in the chocolate. - MAN: Come on! 811 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:23,071 - Get your hot dogs here! - Oh, shit. Look. 812 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,073 - I got jumbo dogs! - Okay, here's the plan. 813 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,867 You grab the sausages, and I'll go over there 814 00:30:26,867 --> 00:30:28,744 and fuck the guy's leg as a distraction. 815 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:30,328 And... break! 816 00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:33,707 Uh, I don't think fucking the guy's leg is necessary, 817 00:30:33,707 --> 00:30:36,084 but I see you've already started. All right. 818 00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:37,627 - (bell dinging) - Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme. 819 00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,880 - Bunny! (squealing) - WOMAN: You won! (laughs) 820 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,339 - I can't believe I won! - Yeah! 821 00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:43,550 MAGGIE: Oh, look at that toy bunny. 822 00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:45,469 You know, it hasn't even been a day yet, 823 00:30:45,469 --> 00:30:47,137 but I really miss toys. 824 00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:48,764 Jenna had some good ones. 825 00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,390 I'd rip that shit apart 826 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:52,601 until I found that squeaky toy in the middle. 827 00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,269 HUNTER: Ugh, I miss squeaky toys, too. 828 00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:56,104 MAGGIE: But, of course, I only got to play 829 00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,065 with those squeak toys if I was a good girl 830 00:30:58,065 --> 00:31:00,901 and I smiled the right way for her stupid freaking selfies. 831 00:31:00,901 --> 00:31:03,904 The amount of work that goes into looking cute. 832 00:31:03,904 --> 00:31:05,197 Honestly, I had to go spin around 833 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:06,656 in a perfect circle like this, 834 00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,241 move into a "oh, I'm so fuckable" pose 835 00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:09,743 with my paws crossed, 836 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,870 and then I'd have to stand up straight, paws up. 837 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,413 I have to show all my tits. 838 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:16,291 Yeah, right, that-- yeah, that's pretty fuckable. 839 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:19,127 I mean, uh, that-that... that's-that's weird. 840 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:20,545 Wait, uh, there they are. 841 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:23,632 (clears throat) You know, Maggie, there's, um... 842 00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:27,135 there's so much more to like about you than just your looks. 843 00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:28,470 - You think so? - Sure. 844 00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:30,722 I-I mean, you are hands down 845 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,516 the best sniffer I've ever met. 846 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:33,934 - Huh. - But you're also smart 847 00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,185 and you can jump high 848 00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:37,646 and you know like nine human words. 849 00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:38,939 That's insane. 850 00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,982 I actually know 31, but thank you. 851 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:43,485 Honestly, I-I'd have to list about 20 more things 852 00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:45,570 before I even got to anything to do with 853 00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:47,197 how beautiful you are. 854 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,867 Um... 855 00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:52,452 I'm sorry, that was too much. 856 00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:55,580 No, that-that means a lot to me. 857 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,375 You know, you're a really good listener. 858 00:31:58,375 --> 00:31:59,793 Oh, that's because all the sound 859 00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,461 funnels through the cone right to my ears. 860 00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:03,130 (chuckles) No, I didn't... 861 00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:05,173 - Never mind. - Wait, wait. What? 862 00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:08,343 Have you ever thought about... about taking the cone off 863 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:11,429 for a little while just to... just to see? 864 00:32:11,429 --> 00:32:12,889 No. 865 00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:15,267 I bet you'd look really handsome. (chuckles) 866 00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:16,685 Really? 867 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,270 Yeah. 868 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,896 BUG (laughing): That's how you do it, Reg, baby. 869 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,356 REGGIE: That was awesome! 870 00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:23,984 Oh, wait a minute. Okay, what's this vibe? 871 00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:25,235 - (stammering): Oh, no. - Oh, nothing. 872 00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:26,528 - Yeah, what vibe? - Nothing. 873 00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:27,946 - What vibe? - There is no vibe. 874 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,115 Your boner implies that there's a vibe. 875 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:33,118 Oh, uh, well, you know, that's because our friendship... 876 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,828 (chuckles) got me erect. 877 00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,454 Yeah, it was a friend boner. 878 00:32:36,454 --> 00:32:38,373 Then why don't you get boners for us? 879 00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:40,792 I mean, uh, are we not your friends? 880 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,461 What? No, no, you guys get me hard all the time. 881 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:47,007 Hunter, that's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. 882 00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:49,759 Speaking of boners, how about some sausages? 883 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,261 We took 'em from a human. 884 00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:53,722 You stole these from a human? What if someone saw? 885 00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:55,724 Relax. Grow back some testicles. 886 00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:57,851 - Ain't nobody saw. - (fireworks booming) 887 00:32:57,851 --> 00:33:00,103 (Hunter and Maggie gasping, yelping) 888 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:01,479 God saw! 889 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,273 God sees everything! 890 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:05,066 - Run! - (Maggie screams) 891 00:33:05,066 --> 00:33:07,194 - We're under attack! - Save yourselves! 892 00:33:07,194 --> 00:33:08,653 We got to find cover! 893 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,655 The whole fucking place is gonna blow! 894 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,365 Move! Move! 895 00:33:12,365 --> 00:33:13,867 - (screaming) - HUNTER: Oh, God! 896 00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:15,952 - REGGIE: We're all gonna die! - (bell clangs) 897 00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:17,495 Mama! 898 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:19,206 - (fireworks popping quietly) - Wow. 899 00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:20,916 (gentle carnival music plays) 900 00:33:20,916 --> 00:33:22,542 - (fireworks booming loudly) - Duck! -Stay low! 901 00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:25,337 - They got us surrounded! - Go, go, go! 902 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,546 - Run! - They're coming after us! 903 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:27,839 This way! Hurry! 904 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,799 HUNTER: It's so loud inside the cone! 905 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,470 - Oh, shit. - No. 906 00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,096 - No, no, no, no, no, no! - We got to get over. 907 00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,682 We got to dig. We got to dig! 908 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:38,892 Dig. Dig faster. 909 00:33:38,892 --> 00:33:40,352 Hunter, Maggie, help us dig. 910 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,604 - What? What's going on? - Come on, Maggie, dig! 911 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,606 - You said you love digging. - I lied! 912 00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,484 - I hate digging! - There we go. 913 00:33:47,484 --> 00:33:48,944 Okay, let's go. 914 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,946 Oh, I hate how the dirt feels under my nails! 915 00:33:50,946 --> 00:33:52,447 Wait, wait. Guys, I'm stuck! 916 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,950 My bandanna's stuck! 917 00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,701 Aah! 918 00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:58,245 - Oh, no. - Reggie! 919 00:33:58,245 --> 00:34:00,372 - Reggie, no! - Reggie, come on, buddy. 920 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:01,539 Maggie, Hunter, help me out. 921 00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:03,041 No, no, no, no. Get out of here. 922 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,251 It-It's too late for me. 923 00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:06,044 Listen to me. It's not too late. 924 00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:07,712 No. Save yourself. 925 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:11,007 And tell Doug I wanted to bite his dick off. 926 00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,260 Bite it for me, if you can. 927 00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:15,470 Look at me. You're gonna live, 928 00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:19,140 and you're gonna bite that dick yourself. 929 00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:20,767 MAGGIE: Hunter, the fence! 930 00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:22,936 (grunting, growling) 931 00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:24,271 Check this out. 932 00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:26,439 (grunting): Come on. 933 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,858 Holy shit, they have a bomb! 934 00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:32,946 - Come on, Reggie. - Come on. (grunting) 935 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,575 REGGIE: I'm almost free. I'm almost free. 936 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:38,743 - Come on, Reggie! - Aah! 937 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,287 Aah! Come on, let's go! 938 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:42,664 BUG: Let's move, move, move, move! 939 00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:44,958 MAGGIE: Come on, guys, let's go! 940 00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,295 (sighs) 941 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:50,797 Oh, well, uh... 942 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,382 You guys want to kiss a little? 943 00:34:52,382 --> 00:34:55,719 - (all panting) - Oh, my God! Holy shit. 944 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,345 Guys, that was crazy. 945 00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,347 I feel like now I need an emotional support dog. 946 00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:02,559 Bug, (laughs) you looked like you were gonna shit yourself. 947 00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:04,561 I did. I literally did that. 948 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:06,187 Oh, God. -HUNTER: He did. I stepped in it. 949 00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:08,315 - (panting) - Reg, you okay? 950 00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:10,025 Uh, it's nothing. I-I... 951 00:35:10,025 --> 00:35:13,445 It's just, you guys risked your life for me. 952 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,113 Bug, you saved me. 953 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,948 I never thought anyone would do that. 954 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,034 Of course we would. Come on. 955 00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:20,785 You're part of the pack, Reggie. 956 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,620 - We stick together. - HUNTER: That's right. 957 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:24,497 I've never been part of a pack before. 958 00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,707 Well, you are now. 959 00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,459 I didn't even know that was a thing. 960 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,252 - (laughter) - We'll make it a thing. 961 00:35:29,252 --> 00:35:30,462 MAGGIE: Yeah. 962 00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,298 So, I kind of have a weird idea. 963 00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,884 Could... could we maybe... 964 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:38,178 (scoffs) pee on each other? 965 00:35:38,178 --> 00:35:39,054 Say what, now? 966 00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:40,555 Well, you said that 967 00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:42,474 when you pee on something that it's yours. 968 00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:44,059 I just thought that, since we're all, 969 00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:45,560 like, friends now, we could... 970 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,897 Pee on each other so we belong to each other? 971 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:50,023 Yeah. 972 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,900 (scoffs) That was a stupid idea. 973 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:55,570 Jenna would be so mad if I came home covered in urine. 974 00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:58,281 - Let's fucking do it. - HUNTER: Oh, we're doing it. 975 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:00,950 Okay. Why don't we, like, do, like, a circle thing? 976 00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:02,827 Yeah, and let's just lift our left leg. -Starboard side. 977 00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:05,372 Yeah, lift our left leg, and then we'll... -There we go. 978 00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:07,749 - Oh, good, I get to pee on Bug. - Yeah, that's good. 979 00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:09,334 (all sighing) 980 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:10,543 BUG: Whoa. 981 00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,003 You know, this isn't just warming my body. 982 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,296 It's warming my heart. 983 00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:14,589 - REGGIE: Aw. - BUG: Wow. 984 00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,466 I guess this makes us family now. 985 00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:18,593 - Yeah, we're BFFs. - HUNTER: Yeah. 986 00:36:18,593 --> 00:36:21,262 Even better. We're Pee-FFs. 987 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:23,264 (chuckling): Pee-FFs! I love it. 988 00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:25,809 - Yeah. Love that. - MAGGIE: Oh, Bug! 989 00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:27,727 You look happy. 990 00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:29,270 What are you talking about, I look happy? 991 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,688 I'm just smiling because we're all sitting here 992 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,232 pissing on each other, so I just... 993 00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:34,109 I cracked a smile. It's not an emotional thing. 994 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:35,819 - Nah, you love us. - MAGGIE: You love us! 995 00:36:35,819 --> 00:36:37,529 Okay, that's it. -HUNTER: Yeah, that's right. You do. 996 00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,197 - That's my cue to go to bed. - Oh, come on, Bug. 997 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,408 Look, listen, listen, we got a lot of walking to do 998 00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:42,909 and not much time to do it. 999 00:36:42,909 --> 00:36:45,036 Let's get some sleep. 1000 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:47,122 H-H-Ho-Hold on one second. 1001 00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:52,335 - Go back the other way. - Better the other way. 1002 00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:54,212 Try sniffing the ground. H-Have you tried sniffing the ground? 1003 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,339 - Fucked that one up. (groans) - You got to reset yourself. 1004 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:57,841 - Yeah, you go back 90 degrees. - Fucked that one up, too. 1005 00:36:57,841 --> 00:36:59,426 - You were so close. - REGGIE: Now sit down. 1006 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:01,761 - That'll do. That'll do. - All right, finally, good. 1007 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:04,639 - Time for bed. Yeah. Okay. - MAGGIE: Let's get some sleep. 1008 00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,182 HUNTER: And a quick turn. 1009 00:37:06,182 --> 00:37:08,017 - Time to go to sl... - Wait. Hang on. -One turn. 1010 00:37:08,017 --> 00:37:09,644 - Two turns. Three turns. - MAGGIE: Oh, God. 1011 00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,020 Bug's really fucked with my head. I don't know... 1012 00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:12,772 - There. - MAGGIE: Five, 1013 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:14,607 - four, three, two, one. - HUNTER: Again. Again. Okay. 1014 00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:15,733 Okay, okay, now I'm ready. 1015 00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:18,194 - (muttering) - MAGGIE: Easy. 1016 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,280 And... down. 1017 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,490 I'm getting much faster at that. 1018 00:37:23,741 --> 00:37:25,243 - Good night, everyone. - Good night, Reg. 1019 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,453 - Good night, Reggie. - And, uh, thanks again 1020 00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:27,954 for letting me pee on you guys. 1021 00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,289 - Reggie? - Yeah? 1022 00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:30,623 Could you just stop fucking talking, please? 1023 00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:32,584 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1024 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,588 ♪ ♪ 1025 00:37:37,964 --> 00:37:40,049 (birds calling) 1026 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,178 REGGIE: Okay, guys. Big day today. 1027 00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:44,929 Next up is the giant cone. 1028 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:47,307 BUG: I don't know what kind of cone we're gonna find out here. 1029 00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,767 REGGIE: It can't be too hard to find. It's gigantic. 1030 00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,644 BUG: All I see is trees, but whatever. 1031 00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:54,731 Hey, mate, have you thought about how you're gonna do it? 1032 00:37:54,731 --> 00:37:56,191 Uh, sorry. D-Do what? 1033 00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:57,859 - Bite Doug's dick off. - Oh. 1034 00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:00,945 Were you thinking lengthwise or tip-to-shaft? 1035 00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,615 Gosh, I don't know. I-I've never bitten off a dick before. 1036 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:06,284 (chuckles) I guess I'll let it just come to me in the moment. 1037 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:08,786 So, at what point of this trip are you gonna build up 1038 00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:10,455 a little BDE and make a move, huh? 1039 00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:12,290 With Maggie? -Yes, Mag... No, with this mossy stump. 1040 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:14,250 What the fuck you think I'm talking about? 1041 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,753 (chuckles) No way. She wouldn't go for me. 1042 00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:19,005 I mean, maybe a door opens up down the road, 1043 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,507 but for now we're just friends. 1044 00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:22,258 Wh-What are you talking about, opening up doors? 1045 00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:23,551 We don't have thumbs. 1046 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,512 You got to knock the fucking door down. 1047 00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:27,222 Yeah, but who would want to date 1048 00:38:27,222 --> 00:38:30,058 a failed police dog who wears a cone 24/7? 1049 00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:33,520 Oh, come on, dude. Girls date losers all the time. 1050 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,440 You know, Reggie, that you don't have to do it, right? 1051 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,734 What are you talking about? Of course I do. 1052 00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:41,486 I'm gonna get all over that dick. 1053 00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,987 Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm! 1054 00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:45,323 Yeah, but you could just, you know, move on from Doug, 1055 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,742 and then you wouldn't have to do anything to him at all. 1056 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,744 You could always just let it go. 1057 00:38:49,744 --> 00:38:51,496 I-I'm not... (chuckles) 1058 00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:53,873 No, I'm not just gonna let it go. 1059 00:38:53,873 --> 00:38:55,208 All right, look, 1060 00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:56,834 you failed doggie school 'cause you was a wuss, 1061 00:38:56,834 --> 00:38:58,878 but there's nothing we can do about your past. 1062 00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:02,382 We might, however, be able to get that thing off your head. 1063 00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:04,551 - This? No, no, you can't. - Sure, we can. 1064 00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:06,594 If we all pull together, we could... 1065 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,680 No, no, I mean, I-I need it. 1066 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,848 I keep it on intentionally. 1067 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:12,433 Wait, really? I just assumed 1068 00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:14,185 it was, like, you know, a medical thing. 1069 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,395 Oh, it is. 1070 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:17,021 I-I'll do anything to keep it on. 1071 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,357 And most self-inflicted injuries will do the trick. 1072 00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,776 You know, cat scratches, ear infection from the toilet, 1073 00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:23,903 lick my testicles for hours and hours 1074 00:39:23,903 --> 00:39:26,364 until the humans get concerned. 1075 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:29,033 But it's worth it. I get anxious sometimes, 1076 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:31,703 and the cone helps me block things out. 1077 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:34,038 What are you guys talking about? 1078 00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:36,332 Oh, uh, nothing. You know, same old, same old. 1079 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,875 I'm telling him he's got to get 1080 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:39,627 - that big dick energy. - (scoffs) Bug. 1081 00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:41,504 Well, you got the first part down. 1082 00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,631 Aw, thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie. 1083 00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,508 You know, your vagina's huge, too. 1084 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:48,678 - Seriously? - Shit. Why did I say that? 1085 00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:51,806 BUG: Hey, Reg, let me ask you something. 1086 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,308 - REGGIE: Yeah? - How sure are you 1087 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:54,976 that the big cone is this way? 1088 00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:58,479 I don't know, on a scale of sure to not sure, 1089 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:00,273 pretty sure... 1090 00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:03,985 ...that I'm not really sure. That I'm sure of. 1091 00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:06,070 - Holy shit. We're lost. - MAGGIE: Ah, great. 1092 00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:08,072 - I knew this would happen. - Hey, calm down, Bug. 1093 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,074 We'll figure it out. This could be a lot worse. 1094 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,826 Oh, really, Hunter? I'm starving, 1095 00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:14,329 we're completely fucking lost, and my little puppy paw pads 1096 00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:15,913 are really hurting right now, 1097 00:40:15,913 --> 00:40:18,333 so how exactly could this get worse? 1098 00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:20,835 Huh? How could it? Tell me, huh? 1099 00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:22,587 How could it get worse? 1100 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:24,839 - (bird screeching) - Oh, oh, oh! 1101 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,591 Bug! -Why did I say it could get a lot worse? 1102 00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:28,343 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, please, please, please don't drop me. 1103 00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:30,053 - Don't eat me. None of that! - MAGGIE: Bug! 1104 00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:31,512 HUNTER: That eagle has some good timing. 1105 00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:33,097 Bug! Hold on, buddy! 1106 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,641 Reg, Reggie, guys, help me. 1107 00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,934 Ask him if he wouldn't mind bringing you lower! 1108 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:38,353 What? What are you talking about? 1109 00:40:38,353 --> 00:40:40,063 - I don't speak bird. - We're in a real pickle! 1110 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:41,898 Help, help, help. Do something. Somebody do something. 1111 00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:43,566 Oh! Oh, God! 1112 00:40:43,566 --> 00:40:46,944 (Reggie yells, grunts) 1113 00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:48,112 Fuck! 1114 00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:50,615 BUG: Yes! No! Shit, this is fucking crazy. 1115 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,158 - We're going higher. - HUNTER: Hold on, buddy. 1116 00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:53,785 Reggie! Bug! 1117 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,913 Oh, wow, your balls look huge from this angle. 1118 00:40:56,913 --> 00:40:59,874 Thank you, but holy fuck! 1119 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,084 (tweeting) 1120 00:41:01,084 --> 00:41:04,128 MAN: That is a golden-cheeked warbler. 1121 00:41:04,128 --> 00:41:06,589 I've been missing that one. 1122 00:41:07,507 --> 00:41:09,258 Uh... 1123 00:41:10,927 --> 00:41:13,221 (humming) 1124 00:41:13,221 --> 00:41:14,389 Check. 1125 00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:15,932 (sighs) 1126 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:18,142 (Bug barking in distance) 1127 00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,232 Holy shit. 1128 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:27,902 That is the craziest thing I have ever seen. 1129 00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,530 And I'm Dennis Quaid, 1130 00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:33,408 and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit. 1131 00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:35,743 - Let me down, bitch! - Bug, look! Over there! 1132 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:37,495 - The giant cone! - What? 1133 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,956 - REGGIE: The giant cone! - BUG: Oh, the cone. 1134 00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:41,416 Well, shit, that would be great news 1135 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:43,418 if we weren't stuck to this fucking bird. 1136 00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:46,838 Bug, I got an idea. Hang on! 1137 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,590 - (grunting) - Reg, what are you doing? 1138 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:51,926 Oh, God. 1139 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,429 That's bold. It's too bold. 1140 00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,097 (screaming) 1141 00:41:56,097 --> 00:41:58,307 REGGIE: Here we go! 1142 00:41:58,307 --> 00:41:59,684 (Bug gasps) 1143 00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,646 - Well, shit. Ow! - Aah! 1144 00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,523 Fuck! Not again! 1145 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,608 (Bug and Reggie grunting and groaning rapidly) 1146 00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:08,776 Reggie! Bug! 1147 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,903 - BUG: Aah! Help! - REGGIE: Aah! Branch! 1148 00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,197 - BUG: Shit! Fuck! - REGGIE: Oh! Smaller branch! 1149 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:15,199 (both grunting and yelling) 1150 00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:17,452 (grunting and yelling continue) 1151 00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:21,205 Wow, they're hitting a worst-case-scenario 1152 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:23,207 amount of branches. 1153 00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:25,334 BUG: Paws, paws, paws, paws, paws! 1154 00:42:25,334 --> 00:42:26,711 (grunts) Tail! 1155 00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:28,880 (grunts, sighs) 1156 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,715 Oh, my God, I am so sorry. 1157 00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:32,925 I did not mean to barge in like this. 1158 00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:34,177 - What, are you guys wrestling? - (Bug yelling) 1159 00:42:34,177 --> 00:42:35,803 - BUG: Shit! - (both yelling) 1160 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:38,431 - MAGGIE: Bug! - (Bug screaming) 1161 00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:40,641 - Reggie! - HUNTER: You're alive! 1162 00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,560 BUG: Fuck, got a stick up my ass. 1163 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,312 REGGIE: Well, Hunter was right. 1164 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:46,230 That could've been worse. 1165 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,857 BUG: Just get the fuck out of the bush. 1166 00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:50,151 HUNTER: Reggie, you are once again a legend. 1167 00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:51,402 Guys, that was epic. 1168 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:53,488 Fucking leaves. Get off me. 1169 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:54,864 Guys, you wouldn't believe it. 1170 00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,115 - We saw the giant cone. - HUNTER: What? 1171 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,158 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did, we did. 1172 00:42:57,158 --> 00:42:58,743 - Really? - That's amazing. 1173 00:42:58,743 --> 00:42:59,952 Yeah, that means we're heading in the right direction. 1174 00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:01,245 Yeah, a-and not to be cheesy, 1175 00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:02,914 but being up in the sky like that 1176 00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:05,291 just moments from my death, 1177 00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,502 I-I learned something about life. 1178 00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:08,586 - Wh-What's that? - What? 1179 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:10,505 Birds don't have genitals. 1180 00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:12,757 Well, then how do they... 1181 00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:13,966 I don't know. 1182 00:43:13,966 --> 00:43:16,552 Maybe they have both parts inside. 1183 00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:18,513 So, if you were to say, "Go fuck yourself," 1184 00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:21,349 they could actually do it. 1185 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:24,185 Um, okay, then. 1186 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:26,854 So, hey, next up is the devil in the sky. 1187 00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:29,524 (Reggie, Bug and Maggie howling) 1188 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,817 HUNTER: Howling. 1189 00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:32,527 Come on, guys, we're over halfway there. 1190 00:43:32,527 --> 00:43:34,946 HUNTER: Hey, my howl's getting better. You guys hear that? 1191 00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:36,906 - Hey, man, uh... - Yeah? 1192 00:43:36,906 --> 00:43:38,908 I really appreciate what you did up there. 1193 00:43:38,908 --> 00:43:40,910 I mean, no need to pee on each other 1194 00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:43,454 or anything like that, but thanks. 1195 00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:46,040 Of course. We're Pee-FFs. 1196 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,542 We stick together. 1197 00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:49,126 All right, all right, all right. Enough. 1198 00:43:49,126 --> 00:43:50,670 Put your tongue back in your mouth. 1199 00:43:50,670 --> 00:43:53,631 ("A-O-K" by Tai Verdes playing) 1200 00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:58,302 HUNTER: Okay, okay. Never have I ever gone down on a girl dog. 1201 00:43:58,302 --> 00:43:59,554 MAGGIE: Really? Seriously? 1202 00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,888 You guys lick your balls all day. 1203 00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:02,557 HUNTER: Oh, no, no, no. That's different. 1204 00:44:02,557 --> 00:44:04,308 - REGGIE: That's different. - HUNTER: That's different. 1205 00:44:04,308 --> 00:44:05,852 - MAGGIE: H-How is it different? - BUG: It's way different. 1206 00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:07,395 - REGGIE: Yeah. - HUNTER: Bones to biscuits. 1207 00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:08,855 MAGGIE: I can't believe that I'm the only one. 1208 00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:10,064 HUNTER: What, you went down on a... 1209 00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:11,649 MAGGIE: I was experimenting. 1210 00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:13,067 - Come on, I was in my twos. - BUG: Ah, yeah, yeah. 1211 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:14,360 HUNTER: Oh, yeah, that's the twos. 1212 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,820 REGGIE: Oh, like a Rumspringa. 1213 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:17,446 ♪ Living in this big blue world... ♪ 1214 00:44:17,446 --> 00:44:20,283 REGGIE: Okay, I got one. Would you rather eat poop or... 1215 00:44:20,283 --> 00:44:21,617 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Eat poop. 1216 00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:23,035 BUG: Definitely eat poop. 1217 00:44:23,035 --> 00:44:24,453 REGGIE: Okay. But I didn't even get to... 1218 00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:25,746 BUG: It doesn't matter. I like poop. 1219 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,875 REGGIE: So, question. When dogs have sex from behind... 1220 00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:30,293 HUNTER: Okay, okay. 1221 00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,752 - ...what's the style? - BUG: That's just called 1222 00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:33,212 - regular style. - MAGGIE: Regular style. 1223 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,338 REGGIE: I mean, is there another style, 1224 00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,673 or do we only have one style? 1225 00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:36,924 BUG: I only know one style of fucking, 1226 00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,175 and I've been doing it my whole life. 1227 00:44:38,175 --> 00:44:39,760 REGGIE: Then what's human style? 1228 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,262 BUG: In human style, the boy pretends to be the dog 1229 00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:43,055 and the girl pretends to be the couch. 1230 00:44:43,055 --> 00:44:44,307 It's very complicated. 1231 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:46,017 REGGIE: Wow, that is complicated. 1232 00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:48,102 HUNTER: Every species is different. 1233 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:51,439 ♪ Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate... ♪ 1234 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:52,857 MAGGIE: All right, I've got a joke. 1235 00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:54,442 - Knock, knock. - (others barking) 1236 00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,193 MAGGIE: No, no, no. You got to ask, "Who's there?" 1237 00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:58,237 BUG: Oh, oh, okay. Got it, got it. 1238 00:44:58,237 --> 00:44:59,947 - MAGGIE: Knock, knock. - (others barking) 1239 00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:02,366 Guys, stop! You won't even let me get to the joke part. 1240 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,201 HUNTER: Later, Maggie. Somebody's at the door. 1241 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,203 BUG: Nothing funny about a stranger at the door. 1242 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,081 MAGGIE: Ugh, you guys are fucking morons. 1243 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:12,335 ♪ I know I'll be A-O, A-OK... ♪ 1244 00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,503 (sniffing) 1245 00:45:15,504 --> 00:45:17,214 MAGGIE: You guys got anything yet? 1246 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,300 Nah. Man, and I'm starving. 1247 00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:20,760 Anything edible over there? 1248 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,011 Like a buffalo chicken pizza? 1249 00:45:22,011 --> 00:45:23,387 Nah, just squirrel poops. 1250 00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:24,889 Ah, nah, I can't eat no more of that shit. 1251 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:26,307 You know what, that goes right through me. 1252 00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:28,893 REGGIE: Hey, I think I got something. 1253 00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:30,770 What do you got? 1254 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:36,150 - What are those? - Kind of looks like food. 1255 00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,777 I-I don't... I don't know. 1256 00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,321 - ALL: Mmm. - REGGIE: Oh, it's not too bad. 1257 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:41,822 BUG: I'm down to clown. 1258 00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:43,491 REGGIE: Mmm. How many of these should we eat? 1259 00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:45,076 - HUNTER: Mm, all of them? - BUG: Yeah, that makes sense. 1260 00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:47,078 MAGGIE: These are so good. Mmm. 1261 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,287 Ooh, this one's spicy. 1262 00:45:48,287 --> 00:45:50,706 HUNTER: Kind of nutty, right? 1263 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,297 (belches) All right. 1264 00:45:58,297 --> 00:46:00,091 (sighs) That should hold us. 1265 00:46:00,091 --> 00:46:01,676 Solid dinner. 1266 00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:04,428 Mmm. All right, let's get moving. 1267 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,889 Oh, shit. Uh, give me a sec. 1268 00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:08,432 Whoa, whoa. 1269 00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:10,101 What the fuck? 1270 00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:16,607 ("Flat Beat" by Mr. Oizo playing) 1271 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:21,445 Hunter, your cone. 1272 00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:24,740 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. I should probably take it off. 1273 00:46:24,740 --> 00:46:26,742 No, no. It's growing. 1274 00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:28,202 Oh, my God. 1275 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:29,745 (laughs): Oh, my God. 1276 00:46:29,745 --> 00:46:31,789 - FEMALE VOICE: Bug. - No. 1277 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,457 FEMALE VOICE (singsongy): Bug... 1278 00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:34,792 BUG: Can't be. 1279 00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,129 Dolores. 1280 00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:39,922 Hello, Bug. 1281 00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,215 What you doing out here? 1282 00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:42,383 We need to talk. 1283 00:46:42,383 --> 00:46:44,969 Wait, Maggie. You look different. 1284 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,137 Really? 1285 00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:48,389 Oh, shit. You look different, too. 1286 00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:50,558 - How so? - Um, you kind of... 1287 00:46:50,558 --> 00:46:53,728 Is it my human hands? 1288 00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,229 Hey, do you think I could play piano now? 1289 00:46:55,229 --> 00:46:56,397 MAGGIE: Definitely. 1290 00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:58,524 (buzzing) 1291 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:02,778 REGGIE: Doug? 1292 00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:04,947 (echoing): Hey, Reggie. 1293 00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,407 Doug! 1294 00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:07,825 How's it going? 1295 00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,243 Not great. 1296 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,995 Just giving it one last shave, 1297 00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:13,748 'cause word on the street is you're planning to bite it off. 1298 00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:15,499 Oh, that was supposed to be a surprise. 1299 00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:17,168 Who told you? 1300 00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:19,837 - Sorry, Daddy. - Oh! 1301 00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,380 My son, the gnome. 1302 00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:23,090 - We're done, Bug. - What? 1303 00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:25,259 - I'm seeing someone else now. - Who? 1304 00:47:25,259 --> 00:47:26,302 (bird screeches) 1305 00:47:26,302 --> 00:47:27,595 BUG: You kidding me? Him? 1306 00:47:27,595 --> 00:47:29,305 Hey, go fuck yourself, man! 1307 00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,349 I actually can. I have both parts! 1308 00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:33,601 Dolores, come back! 1309 00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:34,977 GUS: He yelled to the sky. 1310 00:47:34,977 --> 00:47:36,979 But what Bug didn't realize... 1311 00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,397 Oh, fuck you, narrator dog. 1312 00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:39,440 GUS: He said. 1313 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,192 Stop saying, "He said." 1314 00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:43,527 GUS: He replied. 1315 00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:46,113 I always had such high hopes for you, Reggie. 1316 00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:48,032 I just wanted you to be a... 1317 00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:50,409 (distorted): good boy. 1318 00:47:51,410 --> 00:47:53,704 All I ever wanted was to be a good boy. 1319 00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,122 Goodbye, Reggie. 1320 00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:58,918 Wait! Doug, come back! 1321 00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,544 Oh, whoa. What's that smell? 1322 00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:02,213 - What? Wh-What? - (sniffing) 1323 00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:04,256 MAGGIE: It's coming from over here. 1324 00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:05,800 Hunter, are you seeing this? 1325 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:06,926 (toy squeaking) 1326 00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:08,469 HUNTER and MAGGIE: Toys! 1327 00:48:08,469 --> 00:48:10,805 Guys, get in here. Get over here. 1328 00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:12,056 (toys squeaking) 1329 00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:14,141 BUG: Reg, Reg! Pull this one with me. 1330 00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:15,851 - It's squishy! - Oh, fluffy! 1331 00:48:15,851 --> 00:48:17,478 I can't feel my snout. 1332 00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:19,647 MAGGIE: Oh, there's toys everywhere! 1333 00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:20,981 (laughing) 1334 00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:24,860 HUNTER: Oh, I don't want this day to ever end. 1335 00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:27,029 Yeah. Me, neither. 1336 00:48:28,823 --> 00:48:30,991 (birds calling) 1337 00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,956 (snoring) 1338 00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:41,043 Morning, guys. 1339 00:48:41,043 --> 00:48:42,211 Comfy? 1340 00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:44,130 Oh, shit. I thought you were Dolores. 1341 00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,798 My bad. I got to go pee. 1342 00:48:45,798 --> 00:48:47,675 What's that by your feet, Reggie? 1343 00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:48,968 My feet? 1344 00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:50,344 What are you talking about? What is that? 1345 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,387 Yeah, what is that? 1346 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:53,347 Oh, my God. That's an ear. 1347 00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:56,433 - An ear? - Holy fucking shit. 1348 00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,853 They were toys. Guys, where are the goddamn toys? 1349 00:48:58,853 --> 00:49:01,355 This is not real. This is not real. 1350 00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:02,565 HUNTER: Th-This is real. 1351 00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:04,358 This is real. Oh, my God! 1352 00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:05,693 We killed 'em! (gasping) 1353 00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,027 I'm gonna barf. 1354 00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:09,071 (retches) Oh, God. There's fur in the barf. 1355 00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:11,282 We're fucking murderers! Oh, my God, now I'm gonna barf. 1356 00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:13,200 Holy fuck. Holy fuck. This can't be happening. 1357 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,618 Hang in there. Stay with me. 1358 00:49:14,618 --> 00:49:15,828 I-I'll fix you. 1359 00:49:15,828 --> 00:49:17,329 Bug, what are you doing? 1360 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:18,831 What it look like I'm doing? 1361 00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:20,875 I'm getting rid of the evidence. Nobody can know! 1362 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:27,840 (flies buzzing) 1363 00:49:29,258 --> 00:49:33,846 Um, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to the bunnies. 1364 00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:36,056 Honestly, what we did was an accident. 1365 00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:37,766 - Absolutely. - Mm-hmm. -Right. 1366 00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:40,394 And I know that if we weren't confused from the food we ate 1367 00:49:40,394 --> 00:49:43,355 we would have never mauled you, tore all your limbs off 1368 00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:46,775 and shook your corpses around while giggling gleefully... 1369 00:49:46,775 --> 00:49:48,152 by accident. 1370 00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:49,904 So, bless you, bunnies. 1371 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:50,988 - Yes. Sorry. - Bless you. 1372 00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:52,281 - So sorry. - Sorry. 1373 00:49:52,281 --> 00:49:53,824 - Amen. - All right, that's it. 1374 00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:55,201 Never speak of this again. 1375 00:49:55,201 --> 00:49:56,869 Not one word, you hear me? 1376 00:49:56,869 --> 00:49:58,495 Not one fucking word. 1377 00:49:58,495 --> 00:50:00,748 - Not one word about what? - Oh, shit. The cops. 1378 00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,291 "Oh, shit" is right, motherfucker. 1379 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,585 Wait, wh-what did we do? We're innocent. I promise. 1380 00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,003 - Sit! - I am. 1381 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:08,214 On the ground. Lay down, paws where I can see 'em. 1382 00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:10,007 - We are laying down. - Search these bitches. 1383 00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:11,425 They're hiding something. 1384 00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,177 - Oh, God. What do we do? - Calm down. I got this. 1385 00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:15,095 I'm-a speak with my white dog voice. 1386 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:16,597 Hello, Officer. 1387 00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:18,140 None of us have ever killed 1388 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:20,059 - a bunny in our lives. - MAGGIE, REGGIE, HUNTER: Bug! 1389 00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:21,685 What? Everybody, shut the fuck up. 1390 00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:24,271 We're looking for a lost Girl Scout, Riley Anderson, 1391 00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:25,940 age eight in human years. 1392 00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,983 Wandered away from her campsite two days ago. 1393 00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:30,110 Thought you dogs might have some contact with her. 1394 00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,695 I've got nothing, sir. 1395 00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:33,447 But it smells like you haven't. Let's move out. 1396 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,032 Wait, wait. I could help. 1397 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,201 I'm sorry, I don't really want to be that bitch, 1398 00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:39,286 but I'm actually really good at sniffing, 1399 00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:42,122 and I'd be happy to assist in finding this lost girl. 1400 00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:45,709 Adorable. Yeah, no, thanks, Australian shep-turd. 1401 00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,419 Excuse me, but you really shouldn't 1402 00:50:47,419 --> 00:50:48,796 talk to her like that. 1403 00:50:48,796 --> 00:50:51,006 And what the fuck are you gonna do about it? 1404 00:50:51,006 --> 00:50:52,675 I-I will do nothing the fuck about it. 1405 00:50:52,675 --> 00:50:54,343 I am sitting down now. 1406 00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:55,552 Oh, Hunter. 1407 00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:56,845 Hunter? 1408 00:50:56,845 --> 00:50:58,639 Rolf? 1409 00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:01,433 Holy mother-flipping shit! 1410 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:03,143 I didn't recognize you with the cone. 1411 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,895 Yeah, yeah, I got a cone now. 1412 00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:06,146 Bring it in, bro. 1413 00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:07,523 - Buddy! - Give us some. 1414 00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:09,024 ROLF: God, hey, well, I should've known, 1415 00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:10,651 'cause your butthole smells exactly the same. 1416 00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,569 HUNTER: You know, I'll never forget this butthole. 1417 00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:13,737 - The fuck? - You know this guy? 1418 00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,155 ROLF: You kidding me? 1419 00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:17,241 This fucker and I went to the academy together. 1420 00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:19,702 Everything I know, I learned from this son of a bitch. 1421 00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:21,537 Technically, we're all sons of bitches, sir. 1422 00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:22,663 Shut up. 1423 00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:24,373 Hey, so where'd you end up, brother? 1424 00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:26,292 Drug sniffing, bomb detection? What are we talking about? 1425 00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:29,545 Oh, um, well, I take care of dying humans. 1426 00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:32,673 Oh. Well, I mean, that's not the end of the world, I guess. 1427 00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:34,591 Well, for them it is. (chuckles) 1428 00:51:34,591 --> 00:51:36,176 Well, hey, guys. 1429 00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,803 You found some strays, Rolf? 1430 00:51:37,803 --> 00:51:39,847 Huh? Good job. 1431 00:51:39,847 --> 00:51:41,515 So, what are you fuckers doing out here, huh? 1432 00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:43,684 Oh, uh, well, it's a long story. 1433 00:51:43,684 --> 00:51:44,852 We're gonna bite a guy's dick off. 1434 00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:46,228 It's actually a short story. 1435 00:51:46,228 --> 00:51:47,646 Nice. Man, when I joined the force, 1436 00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,273 you could bite dicks left and right. 1437 00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:50,941 Nowadays, I chomp a dick, 1438 00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,818 I got to fill out two weeks of paperwork. 1439 00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,946 Can I get an AC unit down to Old Forest Road 54? 1440 00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:57,698 We're trying to get to the devil in the sky. 1441 00:51:57,698 --> 00:51:58,782 Does that sound familiar? 1442 00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:00,617 Devil in the sky? Yeah. 1443 00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:02,286 You stick with us, we'll show you the way. 1444 00:52:02,286 --> 00:52:04,747 - Wow. Really? - Sure thing, rat boy. 1445 00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:07,541 ROLF: Let's not wait so long next time, huh? 1446 00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:08,876 What's it been, seven years? 1447 00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:10,377 I think just one, but every year 1448 00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:11,962 feels like seven to us, so that makes sense. 1449 00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:13,547 Okay, listen. We got to get our story straight. 1450 00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:14,798 - Uh-huh. - It was a possum 1451 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:16,091 who killed all the bunnies, got it? 1452 00:52:16,091 --> 00:52:17,384 Wait, what's the possum's name? 1453 00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,719 Uh, Greg. 1454 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,096 That's not a believable name for a possum. 1455 00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:22,556 Ooh, can it be Monty? 1456 00:52:22,556 --> 00:52:24,933 - Hey, Cath. - Steve. Thanks for coming over. 1457 00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:27,102 Hey, little guy. Want a treat? 1458 00:52:27,102 --> 00:52:28,645 Treats! I love treats! 1459 00:52:28,645 --> 00:52:31,482 Oh, my goodness. Does somebody want a treat? 1460 00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:33,317 This one's all for you. I got tons of treats. 1461 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:34,735 Reggie, it's a trap! 1462 00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,487 - Hey! - (Maggie screams) 1463 00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:39,323 BUG: Hey, hey! Those bunnies were dead when we found 'em! 1464 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,575 It was a possum named, uh, Greg or-or... 1465 00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:43,577 REGGIE: Monty! His name was Monty, not Greg! 1466 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,871 BUG: No choice. They threatened us! 1467 00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:47,998 But, Rolf, I thought we were pals. 1468 00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,500 Sorry, old friend. The law's the law. 1469 00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,876 You know how it is. 1470 00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:53,003 What a sadistic fuck. 1471 00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:55,422 Hey, calm down, sweetie pie. You'll all be fine. 1472 00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:57,216 You got tags, they'll send you home. 1473 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,219 - (dogs barking) - (wolf whistle) 1474 00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:02,096 - Whoa, fresh meat. - Hey, big boy. 1475 00:53:02,096 --> 00:53:04,890 - I like the mouth on that one. - Mm, we gonna cuddle real hard! 1476 00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:07,184 Hey, bitch. Hey, little bitch. (howls) -(smacking lips) 1477 00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:09,436 Guys, we got to get out of here. 1478 00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:10,938 We're running out of time. 1479 00:53:10,938 --> 00:53:12,689 - Where even are we? - Nowhere good. 1480 00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:14,775 No, no, no, no, no. I can't be here. 1481 00:53:14,775 --> 00:53:15,943 I can't. Not this again. 1482 00:53:15,943 --> 00:53:17,528 Come on, mate. We'll be fine. 1483 00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:19,363 Yeah, Rolf told us they'll just send us home. 1484 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,948 - It'll be all right. - They only send you home 1485 00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:22,658 if you got a home to go back to. 1486 00:53:22,658 --> 00:53:24,243 And do you know what these people do 1487 00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:26,453 to dogs that don't have one, Hunter? Huh? 1488 00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:29,289 Do you have any idea what they're about to do to me? 1489 00:53:29,289 --> 00:53:30,707 What they're about to do to Reg? 1490 00:53:30,707 --> 00:53:32,167 Calm down, Bug. We'll figure this out. 1491 00:53:32,167 --> 00:53:33,710 There ain't nothing to figure out, Maggie. 1492 00:53:33,710 --> 00:53:35,629 These humans caught us, and now we are fucked! 1493 00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:37,089 Bug, you don't know that. 1494 00:53:37,089 --> 00:53:38,382 Yeah. Uh, I mean, Bug, 1495 00:53:38,382 --> 00:53:40,384 you say you know so much about humans, 1496 00:53:40,384 --> 00:53:41,844 but you don't really know them, either. 1497 00:53:41,844 --> 00:53:43,512 I mean, you've never had an owner. 1498 00:53:43,512 --> 00:53:44,680 You never had a Jenna. 1499 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,973 You never had a Doug. 1500 00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:46,974 I had an Emma. 1501 00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:48,475 - (gasps) - What? 1502 00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:49,935 Whoa, Bug. 1503 00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:51,311 You had an owner? 1504 00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,938 Yeah. 1505 00:53:52,938 --> 00:53:58,110 And I told myself that I would never say her name again, 1506 00:53:58,110 --> 00:54:00,571 but y'all need to hear this. 1507 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:01,864 - No. - No? Okay. 1508 00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:03,574 BUG: I don't remember everything, 1509 00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:05,742 but I remember the day she got me out of there. 1510 00:54:05,742 --> 00:54:07,911 - (gasps) This one. - (parents laughing) 1511 00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:09,413 MOTHER: He's a cute little bugger. 1512 00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:11,123 Cute little bug. 1513 00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:13,083 ♪ When we were on top... ♪ 1514 00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,294 BUG: We did everything together. 1515 00:54:15,294 --> 00:54:16,503 We played all day, 1516 00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:18,922 and no matter how stupid I acted, 1517 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:20,841 - she always laughed. - (laughs) 1518 00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:22,176 Trick or treat. 1519 00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,886 BUG: We even did this thing I hated 1520 00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,180 where she would dress us up in super weird clothes 1521 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:28,849 and ask the neighbors to give us that chocolate 1522 00:54:28,849 --> 00:54:31,185 - humans make from dog poop. - Oh, oh, not for you, honey. 1523 00:54:31,185 --> 00:54:32,561 - (thunder crashes) - (Bug whimpers) 1524 00:54:32,561 --> 00:54:34,354 EMMA: It's okay. It's just a storm. 1525 00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:36,523 BUG: But even better than all the fun we had 1526 00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,358 is, uh, the way she made me feel. 1527 00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:39,985 I love you. 1528 00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:43,322 BUG: When she said that, I felt so special. 1529 00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:44,781 And then it was usually followed by 1530 00:54:44,781 --> 00:54:47,159 these incredible belly scratches. 1531 00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:49,077 No one ever made my leg kick like that. 1532 00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:51,288 Except for this one night with this raccoon 1533 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:54,124 I don't like to talk about, but, uh... anyway. -(giggles) 1534 00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:58,295 But then I made a mistake. 1535 00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,506 - (yelps) - (Emma screams) 1536 00:55:00,506 --> 00:55:02,466 It was a blur. 1537 00:55:03,383 --> 00:55:06,553 I didn't even know what I did until it was too late. 1538 00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:08,805 Say goodbye to Bug. 1539 00:55:09,681 --> 00:55:11,099 (whimpers softly) 1540 00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:12,726 (crying) 1541 00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:14,144 (barks) 1542 00:55:15,437 --> 00:55:18,565 BUG: I thought I was getting put in time-out or something, 1543 00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:22,069 but... but the place she sent me to... 1544 00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:25,948 ...the time-outs there never end. 1545 00:55:26,782 --> 00:55:28,617 - (woman screams) - MAN: Whoa! 1546 00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:35,415 I never saw her again. 1547 00:55:35,415 --> 00:55:38,835 After all we had been through-- everything she made me feel, 1548 00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:42,673 everything I thought I made her feel-- 1549 00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,299 just nothing. 1550 00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,926 We did so much together. 1551 00:55:45,926 --> 00:55:48,262 She taught me so many tricks. 1552 00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:53,100 But the one trick she never wanted me to learn was: stay. 1553 00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:54,518 (whimpers softly) 1554 00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:56,061 I think I zoned out around the middle part. 1555 00:55:56,061 --> 00:55:57,646 Can you tell the middle part again? 1556 00:55:57,646 --> 00:55:59,940 Hunter, I'm not gonna tell the middle part again. 1557 00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,733 I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea. 1558 00:56:01,733 --> 00:56:03,860 Don't be sorry, Reg. Be thankful. 1559 00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,946 'Cause you got a chance to make this right. 1560 00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:10,075 Oh, what I wouldn't give to bite this girl in the dick. 1561 00:56:10,075 --> 00:56:12,786 But, you know, she's six, and I don't know where she lives now, 1562 00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:15,455 and she's a girl and doesn't even have a dick, but still. 1563 00:56:15,455 --> 00:56:18,333 Listen, what we're doing isn't just about Doug. 1564 00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:20,711 We're doing this for all of them. 1565 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:23,088 For every single one of those humans 1566 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,716 who treated us like shit. 1567 00:56:25,716 --> 00:56:28,468 Man, biggest mistake of my life. 1568 00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:30,887 Yeah. I'd regret that bite, too. 1569 00:56:30,887 --> 00:56:32,347 The bite? No. 1570 00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:33,932 I'm talking about her. 1571 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,809 She's the mistake, not the... 1572 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,102 Okay, well, we can talk about 1573 00:56:37,102 --> 00:56:38,645 getting back at your exes all we want, 1574 00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:40,981 but none of that matters if we can't get out of here. 1575 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:44,359 Guys, what if we can get the key? 1576 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:46,903 ♪ ♪ 1577 00:56:51,658 --> 00:56:53,035 HUNTER: Oh, no. 1578 00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:55,871 We'd need, like, a super long pole to hook it. 1579 00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:01,251 Why is everyone looking at me? 1580 00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:06,965 Come on, Hunter, you can do it. 1581 00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:10,135 - (Hunter grunting) - REGGIE: Dude, you're so close. 1582 00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:11,428 Just a little more. 1583 00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:13,180 Come on, get hornier. You can do it. 1584 00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:14,681 This is all I got. 1585 00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:16,850 Maggie, come on. Excite him. 1586 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,770 (whispering): Hunter, this has been 1587 00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:24,024 a really long, hard trip, 1588 00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:26,652 but the thing that keeps me panting 1589 00:57:26,652 --> 00:57:31,490 is thinking about us doing it, regular style. 1590 00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,450 Oh, boy. It-It's working. 1591 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,702 Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff. 1592 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:36,953 Just picture me, 1593 00:57:36,953 --> 00:57:40,165 all eight nipples rock hard, 1594 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:44,628 and I'm wearing nothing but... (gasps) the cone. 1595 00:57:44,628 --> 00:57:45,754 (grunts) 1596 00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,964 REGGIE: You're doing it, Hunter! 1597 00:57:47,964 --> 00:57:49,383 Come on, Hunter. 1598 00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:51,093 Use that dick of yours. 1599 00:57:51,093 --> 00:57:52,302 Yes, Hunter! 1600 00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,971 - (straining) - MAGGIE: Hunter! Hunter! 1601 00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:57,099 ALL: Hunter! Hunter! 1602 00:57:57,099 --> 00:58:00,977 Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! 1603 00:58:00,977 --> 00:58:03,063 ONE DOG: Hunter! 1604 00:58:03,063 --> 00:58:04,690 Sorry, guys. It's hopeless. 1605 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:06,108 MAGGIE: Ugh. Hunter. 1606 00:58:06,108 --> 00:58:07,984 Shit. Really thought that was gonna work. 1607 00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:10,070 HUNTER: Sorry my dick let you down. 1608 00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:11,947 REGGIE: Wait. I've got it. 1609 00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:14,324 What's the one thing humans are obsessed with? 1610 00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:15,492 Uh, themselves. 1611 00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:16,743 - Painting their faces. - Dying. 1612 00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:18,537 No. Bug, you said it yourself. 1613 00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:22,499 What's the thing humans are most obsessed with about dogs? 1614 00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,501 - Our shit. - Yes. 1615 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:26,461 Every single time we shit, what do they do? 1616 00:58:26,461 --> 00:58:27,838 They come and bag it up. 1617 00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:29,673 - Yeah. - That's right. Once this place 1618 00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:32,175 gets all poopy, Willy comes in and bags it up 1619 00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:34,428 like he's collecting it for something. -OTHERS: Mm-hmm. 1620 00:58:34,428 --> 00:58:35,721 - Exactly. - MALE DOG: For chocolate. 1621 00:58:35,721 --> 00:58:37,305 And that's our ticket out of here. 1622 00:58:37,305 --> 00:58:39,850 We poop until he has to open these doors, 1623 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,852 and when he does, we charge. 1624 00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,437 - MAGGIE: Good idea, Reg. - Nice thinking, kid. I'm in. 1625 00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:45,105 And I got a couple of shits in the chamber. 1626 00:58:45,105 --> 00:58:47,607 - (dogs groaning, murmuring) - No thanks, kid. 1627 00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:48,900 What's wrong with you guys? 1628 00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:50,444 Don't you want to get out of this place? 1629 00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:53,029 Of course. But we've been burned so many times 1630 00:58:53,029 --> 00:58:54,406 we're smart enough to know 1631 00:58:54,406 --> 00:58:56,116 that we'll never get beyond these walls 1632 00:58:56,116 --> 00:58:58,368 without a human coming to adopt us. 1633 00:58:59,202 --> 00:59:01,496 Look, I get it. 1634 00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:03,498 I've had dark moments. 1635 00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:05,375 Moments where I felt stuck. 1636 00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:08,670 Moments where, even if you couldn't see it, 1637 00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:11,965 felt like there was a wall or a fence holding you back. 1638 00:59:11,965 --> 00:59:14,468 Yeah, invisible magic fences. I swear to God, that's real. 1639 00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:17,637 But I'm here to tell you that's garbage talk. 1640 00:59:17,637 --> 00:59:20,682 'Cause I was lucky enough to meet some amazing friends 1641 00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:23,560 who taught me that just beyond those walls 1642 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,480 is a bunch of incredible stuff worth living for. 1643 00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,148 There's lampposts to pee on. 1644 00:59:28,148 --> 00:59:31,359 There's scraps to eat and couches to make love to. 1645 00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:32,778 And dead bunnies that... 1646 00:59:32,778 --> 00:59:34,237 - (Bug clears throat) - I-I know nothing about. 1647 00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:35,906 Yeah, I know nothing about that, either. 1648 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,240 Got no clue what you're talking about on that one. 1649 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,492 And tennis balls to fetch, and... 1650 00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:39,868 A dick to bite off. 1651 00:59:39,868 --> 00:59:41,995 What? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, too. 1652 00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:46,583 But most importantly, there's a life out there worth living. 1653 00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,251 - MAGGIE: Whoo! Reggie! - HUNTER: Go, Reg! 1654 00:59:48,251 --> 00:59:51,838 So I'm asking you, do you want to stay here and die, 1655 00:59:51,838 --> 00:59:55,926 or do you want to shit your brains out and live? 1656 00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:57,427 ALL: Live! 1657 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,012 We want to live! 1658 00:59:59,012 --> 01:00:00,597 Then poop with me! 1659 01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:02,849 Poop with me to freedom! 1660 01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:05,018 ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ 1661 01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:07,521 ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ 1662 01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:10,232 - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 1663 01:00:10,232 --> 01:00:12,567 - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪ 1664 01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:16,905 Dig deep inside of you, deep inside your colon. 1665 01:00:16,905 --> 01:00:20,408 Release your pent-up feelings. 1666 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,952 Let it flow. 1667 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:23,537 ♪ When I come to the club ♪ 1668 01:00:23,537 --> 01:00:25,121 - ♪ Step aside ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 1669 01:00:25,121 --> 01:00:27,415 ♪ Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line ♪ 1670 01:00:27,415 --> 01:00:28,625 ♪ Oh, shit... ♪ 1671 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:31,044 Great work, everybody. Keep on pooping. 1672 01:00:31,044 --> 01:00:33,672 - ♪ And me love you long time ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 1673 01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:35,715 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 1674 01:00:35,715 --> 01:00:38,552 ♪ My London, London Bridge wanna go down? ♪ 1675 01:00:38,552 --> 01:00:41,763 ♪ Like London, London, London, be goin' down like. ♪ 1676 01:00:42,597 --> 01:00:44,683 (song ends) 1677 01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:49,145 Those are my eyes. 1678 01:00:49,145 --> 01:00:50,397 Exactly. 1679 01:00:50,397 --> 01:00:53,316 I think Dad's really gonna love this. 1680 01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:57,404 (sniffs) 1681 01:00:57,404 --> 01:00:59,990 (continues sniffing) 1682 01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:02,701 I think it's working. Places, everyone. 1683 01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:07,956 (takes deep breath) 1684 01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:10,417 ♪ ♪ 1685 01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:13,169 Oh... oh, God. 1686 01:01:13,169 --> 01:01:15,964 I can taste it. Oh. 1687 01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:20,969 What? 1688 01:01:20,969 --> 01:01:22,804 (sighs) 1689 01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:26,308 Oh, fuck. 1690 01:01:29,436 --> 01:01:31,605 (keys jingling) 1691 01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:36,359 (lock clicks) 1692 01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:38,236 (door opening) 1693 01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:43,325 Very cute. 1694 01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:45,535 Very funny. (chuckles) 1695 01:01:45,535 --> 01:01:47,162 I see what's going on here. 1696 01:01:47,162 --> 01:01:51,875 You guys think that I am 1697 01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:54,377 a big fat fucking asshole, right? 1698 01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:56,212 You know everything about me. 1699 01:01:56,212 --> 01:01:59,215 You know all the things that have happened in my life 1700 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:01,718 with my dad and my ex-wife. 1701 01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:04,888 (sobbing softly) 1702 01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:10,644 Bravo. Bravo. 1703 01:02:10,644 --> 01:02:11,686 Oh, encore! 1704 01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:14,522 Just kidding. It's done. 1705 01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:17,233 We are done! 1706 01:02:17,233 --> 01:02:18,610 - (barking) - Wait, what are you... 1707 01:02:18,610 --> 01:02:20,987 (yelps, grunts) Oh, my God. Wh-Whoa. 1708 01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:22,405 (whimpers, yells) 1709 01:02:22,405 --> 01:02:23,406 (groans) 1710 01:02:23,406 --> 01:02:24,908 Charge! 1711 01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,952 (dogs whooping, barking) 1712 01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,745 (sobbing) 1713 01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:34,668 (continues sobbing) 1714 01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:38,338 Ah, we did it! 1715 01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:39,923 I can't believe we shit that much! 1716 01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,841 Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick! 1717 01:02:41,841 --> 01:02:43,718 To hell with you! 1718 01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:45,887 (panting) 1719 01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:52,519 (chuckling) 1720 01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,187 Thanks for your patience, folks. 1721 01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:56,064 Really. 1722 01:02:56,064 --> 01:02:57,065 (chuckles) 1723 01:02:57,065 --> 01:02:59,359 Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane. 1724 01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:01,486 Uh... uh... 1725 01:03:01,486 --> 01:03:04,614 (laughs) "Then poop with me to freedom." 1726 01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,866 - So cheesy, but I loved it. - (laughs) What a plan. 1727 01:03:06,866 --> 01:03:08,451 What a speech, Reg. 1728 01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,620 Actually, Reginald, I preferred the first speech. 1729 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,415 You know, the one where you convinced all of us to do this, 1730 01:03:13,415 --> 01:03:16,418 back when you were focused on biting Doug's dick off. 1731 01:03:16,418 --> 01:03:18,461 - MAGGIE: Bug. - Okay, okay, Bug, look... 1732 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:20,296 Oh, look! 1733 01:03:20,296 --> 01:03:22,424 The devil in the sky. We made it. 1734 01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:23,967 Look at that fucking guy! 1735 01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:26,720 HUNTER: Burn in hell, you motherfucking son of a bitch. 1736 01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:28,096 I hate everything about him. 1737 01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:29,723 That dumbass smile, those shitty pants. 1738 01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:31,599 I want to rip your nuts off and make you watch! 1739 01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:33,184 Stupid hat and your stupid truck 1740 01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:35,812 with the door on the other side of the thing. 1741 01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:37,147 I hate his face. 1742 01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:38,815 I hate his personality. I hate his bag. 1743 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,109 HUNTER: He smells like a thousand different houses, 1744 01:03:41,109 --> 01:03:43,653 and I can't trust that. 1745 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:46,281 Anyways, good job, guys. The final landmark. 1746 01:03:46,281 --> 01:03:47,991 - Yeah. That's right. - And right on schedule. 1747 01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:50,076 Yeah, barely. You remember which way to go from here? 1748 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:54,414 Uh, yeah, we just... we just stay on this road for now. 1749 01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:55,498 Good. Let's move. 1750 01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:56,458 - All right. - MAGGIE: Great. 1751 01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:57,667 W-Wait, wait, wait. 1752 01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:59,002 One second. Can't leave yet. 1753 01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:00,211 - Huh? - What's up, Reg? 1754 01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:01,629 Where is it? 1755 01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:03,423 Oh, there. 1756 01:04:04,924 --> 01:04:06,259 All right. Let's go, guys. 1757 01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:08,595 No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on a second. 1758 01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,722 Why couldn't you leave without the ball, Reggie? 1759 01:04:10,722 --> 01:04:13,475 I don't know. I-I just like tennis balls. 1760 01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,769 I know ball guys. You're not a ball guy. 1761 01:04:15,769 --> 01:04:17,937 Well, you don't know everything about me. 1762 01:04:17,937 --> 01:04:20,774 Well, I'm learning a little more right now. 1763 01:04:20,774 --> 01:04:22,275 Drop the ball, Reg. 1764 01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:23,860 What? No. 1765 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:25,862 Drop the fucking ball. 1766 01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:28,782 - Leave it. - I'm not gonna leave the ball. 1767 01:04:28,782 --> 01:04:30,075 - Drop the ball! - No. 1768 01:04:30,075 --> 01:04:31,367 Reggie, you drop that goddamn ball! 1769 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,036 - No. - You don't even like balls! 1770 01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,662 Doug likes balls! 1771 01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:36,122 - Doug? - (Maggie gasps) 1772 01:04:36,122 --> 01:04:37,207 HUNTER: Oh, Reg. 1773 01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:38,958 I don't know why, but he does. 1774 01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:40,877 And when we play the game fetch-and-fuck, 1775 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:44,130 it always ends when I come home and bring him back a ball. 1776 01:04:44,130 --> 01:04:46,841 So I know he's expecting it, and I'm not gonna let him down. 1777 01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:48,760 - Goddamn it. - So, when you told me 1778 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,638 you didn't know how you were gonna bite Doug in the dick, 1779 01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:54,140 the real reason you don't know is because... 1780 01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:56,226 You're not gonna bite Doug in the dick. -(sighs) 1781 01:04:56,226 --> 01:05:00,063 Look, when we first set out, I was totally into the plan. 1782 01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:02,023 But the closer we got to Doug, 1783 01:05:02,023 --> 01:05:05,652 the more I realize that I miss him. 1784 01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:07,779 And I think he misses me, too. 1785 01:05:07,779 --> 01:05:08,988 Reggie, don't do this. 1786 01:05:08,988 --> 01:05:10,824 You deserve so much better than him. 1787 01:05:10,824 --> 01:05:12,200 I don't, Hunter. 1788 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:13,576 I really don't. 1789 01:05:13,576 --> 01:05:15,161 You know why Doug abandoned me? 1790 01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:17,664 Because I was the problem in our relationship. 1791 01:05:17,664 --> 01:05:18,998 I ate his shoes. 1792 01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:20,750 I woke him up so early every day 1793 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:22,252 because I needed to pee. 1794 01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:23,711 And I pooped on the rug. 1795 01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:25,588 We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie. 1796 01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:28,299 Oh, did you roll in it, Maggie? Did you roll in the poop? 1797 01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:30,718 Because guess what, I rolled in the poop. 1798 01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:32,053 Okay, that's not great. 1799 01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:34,013 God, I can't believe it took me this long 1800 01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:37,058 to realize this-- that every time he called me a bad dog, 1801 01:05:37,058 --> 01:05:38,601 he was absolutely right. 1802 01:05:38,601 --> 01:05:40,103 It was all my fault. 1803 01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,396 Wow. 1804 01:05:41,396 --> 01:05:42,689 Well, I'm not gonna be a bad dog anymore. 1805 01:05:42,689 --> 01:05:44,691 It's time for me to be a good boy. 1806 01:05:44,691 --> 01:05:48,486 Jesus, I cannot believe that I risked my life for this asshole 1807 01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:51,406 just so he could go back and get with another asshole. 1808 01:05:51,406 --> 01:05:54,075 I did all of this for you, Reggie. 1809 01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:55,493 You didn't do this for me. 1810 01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:57,620 You said it yourself-- this isn't about Doug. 1811 01:05:57,620 --> 01:05:59,622 This is about every single one of them 1812 01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:01,374 who treated us like shit. 1813 01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:02,584 This is about Emma. 1814 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:04,627 - Reggie. - Fuck you. 1815 01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:06,754 Hey, how about rule number three, Bug? 1816 01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:08,006 You're on your own? 1817 01:06:08,006 --> 01:06:09,465 Well, then what were we? 1818 01:06:09,465 --> 01:06:11,217 Wow. -I don't think you really want to be a stray. 1819 01:06:11,217 --> 01:06:12,635 I think you're sad and lonely. 1820 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,220 Can you believe this fucking guy? 1821 01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:16,556 And I think the only reason you claim to hate humans 1822 01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:19,100 is because, if you ever stop to think about what happened, 1823 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:22,854 you'd realize that Emma didn't fuck it up; you did. 1824 01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:24,397 Get the fuck away from me. 1825 01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:26,316 Believe me, I-I fucked up with my owner, too, 1826 01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:28,985 so thank you for helping me realize I was the problem. 1827 01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,863 Only difference is I have a chance to fix it 1828 01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:34,073 and not end up like you. 1829 01:06:34,073 --> 01:06:35,283 (growls, grunts) 1830 01:06:35,283 --> 01:06:36,618 Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? 1831 01:06:36,618 --> 01:06:37,827 - Guys, guys, stop. - Guys, stop it. 1832 01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:39,287 - Guys! -Guys, come on. - Come on! 1833 01:06:39,287 --> 01:06:40,872 - Give me this fucking thing. - Give it back! 1834 01:06:40,872 --> 01:06:42,290 - Bug. - MAGGIE: Guys. 1835 01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:43,416 REGGIE: Doug gave me that! Give that back! 1836 01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:45,001 - I know he did. - No! 1837 01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,920 - HUNTER: Stop it. Stop. - MAGGIE: Bug, don't do that. 1838 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,380 BUG: That's what I think about you and your owner. 1839 01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:51,257 Go fuck yourself, Reggie! 1840 01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:53,509 You two deserve each other. 1841 01:06:56,971 --> 01:06:59,682 ♪ ♪ 1842 01:07:01,935 --> 01:07:03,728 - Reggie, don't do this! - Reg. 1843 01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:06,022 I hope he's already left without you. 1844 01:07:11,194 --> 01:07:13,071 Man. 1845 01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:16,783 I really thought my dick was gonna hook those keys. 1846 01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:20,745 Um, but this is also a bummer. 1847 01:07:20,745 --> 01:07:22,914 ♪ ♪ 1848 01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:31,381 Bug, we can't go back. 1849 01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,674 Sure, we can. 1850 01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:34,759 The devil in the sky, cone, hamster wheel, 1851 01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:36,761 just in the opposite order of how we came. 1852 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,263 No dead bunnies this time. 1853 01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:39,806 Bug, she means we can't leave him like this. 1854 01:07:39,806 --> 01:07:42,350 First off, Hunter, we didn't leave him. 1855 01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:43,768 He left us. 1856 01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:45,937 Second, we don't know the rest of the way 1857 01:07:45,937 --> 01:07:47,397 back to Doug's place anyway. 1858 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,774 And third, I'm not just gonna hang around here 1859 01:07:49,774 --> 01:07:51,317 and let some dickless bird 1860 01:07:51,317 --> 01:07:53,486 swoop in on my girlfriend while I'm gone. 1861 01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:55,113 - What? - (sighs) Look, 1862 01:07:55,113 --> 01:07:57,115 if there's one thing that the asshole got right, 1863 01:07:57,115 --> 01:07:59,993 it's that I have been wasting my time with you guys. 1864 01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:02,996 I'm a stray, and I should start acting like one. 1865 01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:04,872 - Wait, where are you going? - I don't know. 1866 01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:07,083 - I'm about to go do some nunya. - What's nunya? 1867 01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:09,085 - Nunya fucking business! - HUNTER: Oh, yeah, 1868 01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,670 I walked right into that one. 1869 01:08:10,670 --> 01:08:12,839 (sighs) Let's go home, Hunter. 1870 01:08:12,839 --> 01:08:14,549 (Hunter sighs) 1871 01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:18,386 Talking about I'm lonely. Talking about I'm scared. 1872 01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:20,221 Fuck does he think he's talking about? 1873 01:08:20,221 --> 01:08:22,348 I'm-a tell you right now, I ain't lonely, 1874 01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:23,933 and I damn sure ain't scared. 1875 01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:25,727 (gasps) Fuck you, leaf. 1876 01:08:25,727 --> 01:08:27,353 (scoffs) End up like me? 1877 01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:29,689 I pissed on two cars and three houses last week. 1878 01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:31,733 That's right, I'm a three-year-old dog, 1879 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,359 and I'm already a homeowner. 1880 01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:34,736 I'm living the motherfucking dream, hmm? 1881 01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:36,529 And I'm not scared to be alone. 1882 01:08:36,529 --> 01:08:38,656 Matter of fact, I ain't scared of anything. 1883 01:08:38,656 --> 01:08:40,116 (twig snaps) 1884 01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:41,117 Who's that? 1885 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,410 Don't come closer. 1886 01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:45,496 I-I, uh... I'm crazy. I fuck trash! 1887 01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:53,087 (growling) 1888 01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:56,132 (growling) 1889 01:08:57,592 --> 01:08:59,552 (barking) 1890 01:09:00,511 --> 01:09:02,722 Nope, not doing this. 1891 01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:04,098 Just walk away, Bug. 1892 01:09:04,098 --> 01:09:07,268 Little girls like Emma suck, and you know it. 1893 01:09:07,268 --> 01:09:10,480 (whimpering) 1894 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:13,483 (sobbing softly) 1895 01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:15,443 Don't listen to her, man. Don't listen to her. 1896 01:09:15,443 --> 01:09:17,528 Another fucking narcissist 1897 01:09:17,528 --> 01:09:19,113 putting her needs above your own. 1898 01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:21,074 You've been down this fucking road before, man. 1899 01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,117 Just... just... 1900 01:09:23,117 --> 01:09:25,286 (sighs) Goddamn it. 1901 01:09:32,126 --> 01:09:34,504 Hey there. (chuckles) 1902 01:09:34,504 --> 01:09:37,173 What are you doing out here all alone? 1903 01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:39,592 Did you get lost like me? 1904 01:09:39,592 --> 01:09:40,802 It's gonna be okay. 1905 01:09:40,802 --> 01:09:42,178 Holy shit. Wait! 1906 01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:43,388 You're the girl that everyone's looking for. 1907 01:09:43,388 --> 01:09:44,514 Holy shit. 1908 01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:46,933 I found her! I found her! 1909 01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:48,601 S-Somebody, please help! 1910 01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:49,852 I found the girl! 1911 01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:52,313 - That's Bug. - Bug! Where are you? 1912 01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:53,981 Let's go. 1913 01:09:53,981 --> 01:09:56,609 ♪ ♪ 1914 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:58,194 I see him! 1915 01:09:58,194 --> 01:09:59,529 (barks) 1916 01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:00,780 I can't believe you found the girl. 1917 01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,365 Oh, my God, Bug. 1918 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:04,867 Come on. We got to get her some help. She's in bad shape. 1919 01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,494 - MAGGIE: Help! Over here! - HUNTER: Over here! 1920 01:10:06,494 --> 01:10:07,829 We found her! Help! 1921 01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:10,498 - Help! Help! - Rolf, you dickhead! Help! 1922 01:10:10,498 --> 01:10:13,751 (Bug, Maggie and Hunter shouting in distance) 1923 01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:15,795 Lost kid! Let's move! 1924 01:10:15,795 --> 01:10:17,046 - Over here! - Rolf! -Help! 1925 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:18,256 - Here they come. - HUNTER: Over here. 1926 01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:20,216 Munchkin, check the girl. 1927 01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,552 Hell of a job, Hunter and small dogs. 1928 01:10:22,552 --> 01:10:25,555 - Didn't know you had it in you. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Riley! 1929 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,932 Riley, here you are. Good dog. Good dog. 1930 01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:29,267 You're okay. 1931 01:10:29,267 --> 01:10:30,476 I'm not even gonna ask 1932 01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:32,311 how you ended up back in these woods. 1933 01:10:32,311 --> 01:10:35,648 All I'll ask is: How can I repay you? 1934 01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:39,527 You can help save my best friend. 1935 01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,904 ♪ ♪ 1936 01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:44,407 Oh, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? 1937 01:10:44,407 --> 01:10:47,368 Okay, I should probably rehearse this. 1938 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:48,494 Hey, Doug. 1939 01:10:48,494 --> 01:10:49,912 (imitating Doug): Hey, shitbag. 1940 01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:51,247 (normal voice): What have you been up to? 1941 01:10:51,247 --> 01:10:52,665 (imitating Doug): Mostly masturbating. 1942 01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:54,834 (normal voice): Oh, cool. Classic Doug. 1943 01:10:54,834 --> 01:10:56,878 So, I owe you an apology. 1944 01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:58,212 (imitating Doug): Okay. 1945 01:10:58,212 --> 01:10:59,505 (normal voice): You were totally right 1946 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:00,756 to ditch me in that alley. 1947 01:11:00,756 --> 01:11:02,008 I mean, I was terrible. 1948 01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:03,342 (imitating Doug): Agreed. 1949 01:11:03,342 --> 01:11:05,011 (normal voice): But I was wondering, um, 1950 01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:07,722 if we could maybe make some changes when I'm back. 1951 01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:09,682 Like, maybe we could do walks now 1952 01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:12,768 and possibly increase pee breaks to twice a day 1953 01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:15,855 and maybe, if you feel like it, you could call me a... 1954 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:18,608 a good boy every once in a while. 1955 01:11:23,404 --> 01:11:25,781 Ugh, this is stupid. 1956 01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:30,828 What you mean, you can't track him down? 1957 01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,288 You're sniff dogs. That's what you do, right? 1958 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:34,165 Yeah, come on, Rolf, they taught us that. 1959 01:11:34,165 --> 01:11:35,583 It's impossible. 1960 01:11:35,583 --> 01:11:37,293 We can't track him without knowing his scent first. 1961 01:11:37,293 --> 01:11:39,170 Did you get any whiff of him yesterday, Munchkin? 1962 01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:40,963 Nothing I can recall, sir. 1963 01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,590 - Wait! The bandanna! - Come again. 1964 01:11:42,590 --> 01:11:44,258 We can get his scent from the bandanna. 1965 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:46,219 - Let's go! Let's go! - Nice, Maggie. 1966 01:11:46,219 --> 01:11:48,429 Rolf? Hey, Rolf! 1967 01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:50,389 - There it is! - BUG: There! There it is! 1968 01:11:50,389 --> 01:11:52,183 There it is! 1969 01:11:52,183 --> 01:11:53,935 HUNTER: Way to go, Maggie. 1970 01:11:53,935 --> 01:11:55,436 ROLF: Halt! 1971 01:11:55,436 --> 01:11:57,522 Good God, what's that smell? 1972 01:11:57,522 --> 01:11:58,981 Can you smell Reggie off that thing? 1973 01:11:58,981 --> 01:12:01,901 (sniffs) I'm not getting any dog off of this, sir. 1974 01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:03,027 Just a lot of urine. 1975 01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:04,362 - Oh, huh. Oh, wow. - Huh. 1976 01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:06,030 - That's, uh, weird. - It was Bug. 1977 01:12:06,030 --> 01:12:07,782 And from the same patterns, I can tell 1978 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,575 this was a very small pee stream, 1979 01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:12,662 indicative of a dog with an unbelievably tiny penis. 1980 01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:14,789 - Again, Bug. - It ain't indicative of shit. 1981 01:12:14,789 --> 01:12:17,333 If anything, it is indicative of a well-shaped, 1982 01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:20,211 sensual penis that transcends dick size. 1983 01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:22,255 Lots of TDU-- tiny dick urine-- over here. 1984 01:12:22,255 --> 01:12:23,881 It would take a miracle to pick up 1985 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:25,424 any dog scent off of that thing. 1986 01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:27,426 There you are. What's gotten into you guys? 1987 01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:29,262 - (sniffing) - ROLF: Fuck are you doing? 1988 01:12:29,262 --> 01:12:30,596 You'll taint the smell! 1989 01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:32,223 I'm doing your job. 1990 01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:33,891 Now, back the fuck off, Adolf. 1991 01:12:33,891 --> 01:12:35,268 - Adolf? - It's 'cause you're 1992 01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:36,769 a German shep... Oh, whatever. 1993 01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,271 I get it now. Hitler reference. 1994 01:12:38,271 --> 01:12:39,605 (sniffing) 1995 01:12:39,605 --> 01:12:41,607 Go, Maggie. Go, Maggie. 1996 01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:47,029 I'm picking up... 1997 01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:49,282 bitches of the night, pizza, vomit pizza, 1998 01:12:49,282 --> 01:12:50,908 hot dogs, all of our pee, 1999 01:12:50,908 --> 01:12:52,868 - eagle feathers, Dennis Quaid? - (eagle screeches) 2000 01:12:52,868 --> 01:12:55,037 Squirrel sex, dead bunnies that I know nothing about, 2001 01:12:55,037 --> 01:12:56,539 Hunter's boner, oh, lots of shit, 2002 01:12:56,539 --> 01:12:58,916 a tiny Boston terrier dick and... 2003 01:12:58,916 --> 01:13:00,626 Reggie! I got him. 2004 01:13:00,626 --> 01:13:01,794 - Yes, Maggie. - Let's move! 2005 01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:02,878 HUNTER: Come on, let's go! 2006 01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:04,297 Thanks, Rolf! 2007 01:13:04,297 --> 01:13:06,549 Except for when you fucked us over! 2008 01:13:06,549 --> 01:13:07,925 Good luck, soldiers. 2009 01:13:07,925 --> 01:13:10,177 And sorry I'm such a fucking asshole! 2010 01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:12,054 I should really work on myself. 2011 01:13:12,054 --> 01:13:14,223 ♪ ♪ 2012 01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:30,448 ♪ ♪ 2013 01:13:39,332 --> 01:13:41,500 (door creaks) 2014 01:13:55,473 --> 01:13:58,184 ♪ ♪ 2015 01:14:03,397 --> 01:14:06,233 DOUG: Oh, thanks for shitting on the carpet. 2016 01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:08,527 The fuck are you thinking, huh? 2017 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:12,031 Oh, you're such a stupid little piece of shit. 2018 01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:23,125 Can you just leave me the fuck alone? 2019 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:25,419 Bad dog! 2020 01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:31,092 - (Reggie barking) - (Doug imitating barking) 2021 01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:34,303 DOUG: That's what you fucking sound like, you piece of shit. 2022 01:14:47,775 --> 01:14:50,444 ♪ ♪ 2023 01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:05,042 Okay, one last shit on the carpet, and then I'm out. 2024 01:15:24,895 --> 01:15:26,522 Hey, Doug. 2025 01:15:27,356 --> 01:15:29,024 (sighs): Fuck. 2026 01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:30,776 It's me, Reggie. 2027 01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:33,863 A-And look, I-I know you can't understand 2028 01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:35,156 what I'm saying right now... 2029 01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:36,532 This is not happening. 2030 01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:39,243 ...but I just want to say how I feel. 2031 01:15:39,243 --> 01:15:41,245 I know you didn't like me. 2032 01:15:41,245 --> 01:15:43,164 I mean, obviously. 2033 01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:45,207 You abandoned me in the street. 2034 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:48,127 But just know that I did everything I could 2035 01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:49,962 to make you feel loved. 2036 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:52,381 And I thought, if I loved you enough, 2037 01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:55,468 then maybe you would love me back. 2038 01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:58,304 But then I met new friends. 2039 01:15:58,304 --> 01:16:02,558 I met the sweetest big dog with just the nicest dick, 2040 01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:05,644 the most talented, baddest bitch in the world, 2041 01:16:05,644 --> 01:16:08,272 and the-the tiniest, scrappiest, 2042 01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:11,942 funniest best friend I could ever ask for. 2043 01:16:11,942 --> 01:16:15,780 Oh, and I met my son, too, who's a gnome, and we had sex. 2044 01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:17,072 But whatever. 2045 01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:20,117 The point is those friends showed me 2046 01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:22,161 what real love feels like, 2047 01:16:22,161 --> 01:16:24,747 and it's nothing like what we had. 2048 01:16:24,747 --> 01:16:28,209 Now I know that I wasn't a bad dog. 2049 01:16:28,209 --> 01:16:31,587 You were a bad man. 2050 01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:33,589 Bad man! Bad man! 2051 01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:34,673 (barking) 2052 01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:36,926 (sighs) 2053 01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:39,595 Goodbye, Doug. 2054 01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:41,138 And fuck you. 2055 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,522 Now, what do I got to do 2056 01:16:49,522 --> 01:16:52,900 to get you the fuck out of my life? 2057 01:16:52,900 --> 01:16:55,194 I mean, how do you not get it, man? 2058 01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:58,656 I drove you three hours away. 2059 01:16:58,656 --> 01:17:00,533 I mean, how could I make it any more clear 2060 01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:02,535 that I don't care about you? 2061 01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:04,703 I don't fucking love you. 2062 01:17:04,703 --> 01:17:06,705 Goodbye forever, shitbag. 2063 01:17:07,998 --> 01:17:11,710 Well, at least I found someone who loved me. 2064 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:13,587 Pee-FFs forever. 2065 01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:16,423 (barking) 2066 01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:18,384 ALL: Pee-FFs forever! 2067 01:17:18,384 --> 01:17:19,885 The fuck? 2068 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,637 Who the hell are these dogs? 2069 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:24,557 Jesus Christ, it's like a fucking dog movie in here. 2070 01:17:24,557 --> 01:17:27,059 (growling) 2071 01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:28,394 Oh, yeah? 2072 01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:31,230 The fuck are you gonna do about it, cone boy? 2073 01:17:40,823 --> 01:17:42,199 Oh, shit. 2074 01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:44,535 (growls, barks) 2075 01:17:46,161 --> 01:17:48,497 (snarling) 2076 01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:49,999 Reggie, you okay? 2077 01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,667 Listen, Bug, I-I'm so sorry for what I said. I... 2078 01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:53,210 Don't worry about that right now. 2079 01:17:53,210 --> 01:17:54,920 Yeah, we've got a dick to rip off. 2080 01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:57,131 - (grunting) - (Hunter snarling) 2081 01:17:59,258 --> 01:18:01,135 Get the fuck off me! 2082 01:18:01,886 --> 01:18:03,220 Fuck. What the... 2083 01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:05,973 Get off me! Let go! Goddamn it. 2084 01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:07,766 Ow! Fuck, my knee! 2085 01:18:07,766 --> 01:18:09,685 - Goddamn it! - (barks) 2086 01:18:09,685 --> 01:18:12,187 Oh, you want some, huh? 2087 01:18:12,187 --> 01:18:13,772 (barking) 2088 01:18:14,607 --> 01:18:16,442 Oh, goddamn it! 2089 01:18:16,442 --> 01:18:18,485 You little fuckers owe me a microwave! 2090 01:18:18,485 --> 01:18:19,612 (barking) 2091 01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,530 Eat some foot! 2092 01:18:22,323 --> 01:18:24,199 Aah, my foot! 2093 01:18:24,199 --> 01:18:26,410 (panting) 2094 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:29,872 Shitbag. 2095 01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:34,543 (grunting) 2096 01:18:36,921 --> 01:18:38,589 (screams) 2097 01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:41,133 Oh, fuck, my back! 2098 01:18:41,133 --> 01:18:42,760 Fuck! -Guys, we should get out of here. 2099 01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:44,011 BUG: Reggie! 2100 01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:45,846 Got you, you little shit. 2101 01:18:45,846 --> 01:18:47,806 Well, look at you. 2102 01:18:47,806 --> 01:18:49,850 You got yourself some friends? 2103 01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:53,312 Let me tell you furry fucks something. 2104 01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:56,941 Your little buddy here ruined my life. 2105 01:18:56,941 --> 01:19:00,486 Before him, I had a fucking good thing going. 2106 01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:03,614 A roof over my head, checks from my mom, 2107 01:19:03,614 --> 01:19:04,990 two girlfriends. 2108 01:19:04,990 --> 01:19:08,786 Now I have no house, no girlfriends, 2109 01:19:08,786 --> 01:19:10,704 and I have to masturbate all day. 2110 01:19:10,704 --> 01:19:13,958 All right, this dog turned me into a fucking loser! 2111 01:19:13,958 --> 01:19:15,417 Why's he talking so much? 2112 01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:19,505 You ever see the end of Marley & Me? Huh? 2113 01:19:19,505 --> 01:19:20,923 Yeah. Me, neither. 2114 01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:23,008 It's fucking boring. 2115 01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:26,387 But I do know that the dog dies in the end. 2116 01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:28,180 - (all barking) - I'm gonna enjoy 2117 01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,724 squeezing the life out of you. 2118 01:19:30,724 --> 01:19:32,643 BUG: Maggie, Hunter, get in position. 2119 01:19:32,643 --> 01:19:34,061 - MAGGIE: Got it. - HUNTER: Copy. 2120 01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,604 DOUG: 'Cause you squeezed the life out of me. 2121 01:19:35,604 --> 01:19:37,147 Wait, what's happening? 2122 01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:39,191 What are they doing getting in a line like that? What... 2123 01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:41,694 ♪ ♪ 2124 01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:44,530 (distorted): Fuck you! 2125 01:19:50,244 --> 01:19:53,288 ("Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus playing) 2126 01:19:57,626 --> 01:20:00,295 - ♪ We clawed, we chained ♪ - (growling) 2127 01:20:00,295 --> 01:20:01,964 ♪ Our hearts in vain ♪ 2128 01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:05,259 ♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪ 2129 01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:09,054 ♪ We kissed, I fell under your spell ♪ 2130 01:20:09,054 --> 01:20:14,226 ♪ A love no one could deny ♪ 2131 01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:16,395 ♪ Don't you ever say... ♪ 2132 01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:18,939 Bad fucking dog. 2133 01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:21,817 You're goddamn right. 2134 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:24,611 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪ 2135 01:20:24,611 --> 01:20:26,238 (distorted screaming) 2136 01:20:26,238 --> 01:20:30,200 ♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪ 2137 01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:34,329 ♪ All I wanted was to break your walls ♪ 2138 01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:36,665 ♪ All you ever did was ♪ 2139 01:20:36,665 --> 01:20:38,208 ♪ Wre-e-eck me ♪ 2140 01:20:38,208 --> 01:20:39,376 (distorted screaming) 2141 01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:42,963 ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪ 2142 01:20:42,963 --> 01:20:46,925 ♪ I put you high up in the sky ♪ 2143 01:20:46,925 --> 01:20:51,055 ♪ And now you're not coming down ♪ 2144 01:20:51,055 --> 01:20:55,225 ♪ It slowly turned, you let me burn ♪ 2145 01:20:55,225 --> 01:20:58,896 ♪ And now we're ashes on the ground ♪ 2146 01:20:59,772 --> 01:21:03,108 ♪ Don't you ever say I just walked away ♪ 2147 01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:06,403 ♪ I will always want you ♪ 2148 01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:10,365 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪ 2149 01:21:10,365 --> 01:21:14,203 ♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung ♪ 2150 01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:17,623 ♪ Left me crashing in a blazing fall ♪ 2151 01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:22,961 ♪ All you ever did was wre-e-eck me ♪ 2152 01:21:22,961 --> 01:21:26,381 ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪ 2153 01:21:26,381 --> 01:21:28,509 (whimpering) 2154 01:21:29,927 --> 01:21:33,388 ♪ I never meant to start a war ♪ 2155 01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:37,017 ♪ I just wanted you to let me in... ♪ 2156 01:21:37,017 --> 01:21:39,728 Uh, yeah, we should probably leave. 2157 01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,146 Oh, yeah, we got to go right now? 2158 01:21:41,146 --> 01:21:42,481 I was kind of enjoying this. 2159 01:21:42,481 --> 01:21:43,982 ♪ I guess I should've let you win... ♪ 2160 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:45,484 Yo, Reg, I got to be honest with you, man. 2161 01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:46,944 I ain't think you was gonna do that shit. 2162 01:21:46,944 --> 01:21:48,737 MAGGIE: You really committed to that. 2163 01:21:48,737 --> 01:21:50,239 HUNTER: Yeah, that was more graphic than I was expecting. 2164 01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:51,490 MAGGIE: That was almost too far. 2165 01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:52,741 BUG: You one-upped me, for sure. 2166 01:21:52,741 --> 01:21:54,076 I mean, I bit a girl's ankle. 2167 01:21:54,076 --> 01:21:56,787 You ripped a man's penis off. 2168 01:22:04,711 --> 01:22:06,588 (song ends) 2169 01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,507 ("Follow You" by Dave Sarazen playing) 2170 01:22:08,507 --> 01:22:11,677 - (birds chirping) - (dogs barking) 2171 01:22:11,677 --> 01:22:15,013 REGGIE: Today is gonna be the best day ever. 2172 01:22:15,013 --> 01:22:16,515 How do I know that? 2173 01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:19,226 Because every day is the best day ever. 2174 01:22:19,226 --> 01:22:22,688 Hunter went back to his job at the old human home, 2175 01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:24,648 and he didn't even need his cone. 2176 01:22:24,648 --> 01:22:25,899 Hey, Cone of Shame. 2177 01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:27,484 Where's your lampshade? (chuckles) 2178 01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:29,945 Actually, Bubsy, I don't need that cone anymore, 2179 01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:32,489 just like I don't need any of your shit anymore. 2180 01:22:32,489 --> 01:22:33,740 Fuck you, Bubsy. 2181 01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:35,659 Wow. I had no idea you felt that way. 2182 01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:38,120 I'm sorry. I-I'm just gonna go. 2183 01:22:39,037 --> 01:22:40,455 Fuck your mother! 2184 01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:41,957 (laughs) Fuck out of here! 2185 01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:43,542 REGGIE: And he finally found the courage 2186 01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:45,335 to let Maggie know how he feels about her. 2187 01:22:45,335 --> 01:22:47,171 And now they have sex all the time. 2188 01:22:47,171 --> 01:22:49,715 Regular style, of course. 2189 01:22:49,715 --> 01:22:51,508 Attaboy, Hunter. 2190 01:22:52,759 --> 01:22:54,928 Reminds me of when I was young. 2191 01:22:54,928 --> 01:22:57,556 You used to fuck dogs? 2192 01:22:57,556 --> 01:22:58,724 What? 2193 01:22:58,724 --> 01:23:00,142 REGGIE: And Maggie, well, 2194 01:23:00,142 --> 01:23:02,561 she finally got the owner she deserves. 2195 01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:05,564 Maggie's part of the detection squad now, 2196 01:23:05,564 --> 01:23:07,733 and she's the best sniffer on the team. 2197 01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,444 Oh, I love the costume you gave her. 2198 01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:11,653 So good. 2199 01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:13,822 Uniform. For work. 2200 01:23:13,822 --> 01:23:15,657 REGGIE: And Bug's the same old Bug. 2201 01:23:15,657 --> 01:23:17,826 With one pretty big exception. 2202 01:23:17,826 --> 01:23:20,162 He's changed his stance on people. 2203 01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:21,496 (laughing) 2204 01:23:21,496 --> 01:23:24,166 Or at least one very special person. 2205 01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:25,834 - (barking, laughing) - ♪ And you're feeling down ♪ 2206 01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:27,169 ♪ You can follow me ♪ 2207 01:23:27,169 --> 01:23:29,588 ♪ And I'll show you how to love ♪ 2208 01:23:30,547 --> 01:23:31,757 ♪ To love... ♪ 2209 01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:33,800 REGGIE: Sure, joining a family was a bit 2210 01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:36,720 of a learning experience for him. 2211 01:23:38,138 --> 01:23:39,932 Oh, baby, I love this. 2212 01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:42,351 Your cushions are so much tighter than Dolores's. 2213 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:46,104 Now, what is this fabric? Faux suede? 2214 01:23:46,104 --> 01:23:47,272 Hey. 2215 01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,649 Oh, hey, Kevin. 2216 01:23:49,524 --> 01:23:51,818 Come on, buddy. No humping the couch. 2217 01:23:53,195 --> 01:23:55,906 Nothing will ever come between us. 2218 01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:59,618 REGGIE: Yep, life is pretty damn great. 2219 01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:01,411 So we'll see you guys tonight? 2220 01:24:01,411 --> 01:24:02,537 - Yep. - You know it. 2221 01:24:02,537 --> 01:24:04,373 ALL: Scraps night. 2222 01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:10,212 REGGIE: As for me, I chose to stay a stray, 2223 01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,047 and I couldn't be happier. 2224 01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:14,216 And for any dogs in need, 2225 01:24:14,216 --> 01:24:16,301 I'll be there to show them the ropes. 2226 01:24:16,301 --> 01:24:18,929 Hey there. I'm Reggie. You got a name? 2227 01:24:18,929 --> 01:24:21,265 Oh, hi. I'm-I'm Shitstain. 2228 01:24:21,265 --> 01:24:24,184 No. No, no, no. That's not your name. Trust me. 2229 01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:27,020 Rule number one of being a stray: 2230 01:24:27,020 --> 01:24:29,314 You want something, you pee on it. 2231 01:24:29,314 --> 01:24:31,149 And whatever you pee on is yours. 2232 01:24:31,149 --> 01:24:33,318 Oh. How about this lamppost? 2233 01:24:33,318 --> 01:24:35,946 - That's mine! - Oh. Okay. 2234 01:24:35,946 --> 01:24:37,239 Rule number two: 2235 01:24:37,239 --> 01:24:39,074 You can pretty much hump whatever you want. 2236 01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:40,701 - Cool! Sweet! - Awesome! Yes! 2237 01:24:40,701 --> 01:24:45,539 Rule number three is the most important rule, bar none: 2238 01:24:45,539 --> 01:24:47,666 You are not alone. 2239 01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:50,627 You know, I used to think my place 2240 01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:52,879 was by Doug's side, but now I know 2241 01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:55,090 my place is wherever I want it to be, 2242 01:24:55,090 --> 01:24:58,343 and I've never felt more at home. 2243 01:24:58,343 --> 01:25:00,512 'Cause I know a guy who lets me crash 2244 01:25:00,512 --> 01:25:02,681 whenever I want. 2245 01:25:02,681 --> 01:25:04,641 - Hey, loser. - Hey, fuckface. 2246 01:25:06,226 --> 01:25:07,936 (chuckling) 2247 01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:10,105 Liam, the cute scruffy dog is back! 2248 01:25:12,190 --> 01:25:13,900 (laughter) 2249 01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:15,777 (barks) 2250 01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:19,531 - Isn't this the life? - (Reggie sighs) 2251 01:25:20,532 --> 01:25:22,451 LIAM: Who's a good boy? 2252 01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:24,036 You're a good boy. 2253 01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:26,955 Such a good boy. 2254 01:25:26,955 --> 01:25:29,166 REGGIE: I've learned a lot since Doug. 2255 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,001 Sure, there are some bad people in this world, 2256 01:25:31,001 --> 01:25:34,838 but even Bug would agree-- the good ones are out there. 2257 01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:37,007 You just got to keep your eyes open. 2258 01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:38,550 Hey, kids. 2259 01:25:38,550 --> 01:25:40,052 I'll rip your fucking lungs out through your mouth! 2260 01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:41,678 - Fuck you, mailman! Fuck you! - Son of a bitch! 2261 01:25:41,678 --> 01:25:43,430 Oh, these guys have a lot of energy, don't they? 2262 01:25:43,430 --> 01:25:45,140 I'm-a eat your fucking nut sack... -You're a bad person! 2263 01:25:45,140 --> 01:25:46,558 Get out of here, you evil, evil little shit! -Aw. 2264 01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:47,934 I'll give you to the count of three, 2265 01:25:47,934 --> 01:25:49,728 and then I'm gonna jump this fence 2266 01:25:49,728 --> 01:25:51,605 - and skull-fuck you to death! - You stupid fucking evil devil! 2267 01:25:51,605 --> 01:25:53,357 You're just as bad as your friend in the sky! -One, two... 2268 01:25:53,357 --> 01:25:55,275 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smart. - You fuckwad, go! Go! 2269 01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:56,568 - You smart. - Go! Keep moving! 2270 01:25:56,568 --> 01:25:58,320 BUG: Smart move. Keep walking. 2271 01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:00,155 REGGIE: Don't even think about coming back here tomorrow. 2272 01:26:00,155 --> 01:26:01,490 - Fuck off! - BUG: Yeah, bitch. 2273 01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,075 You don't want to get this guy angry. 2274 01:26:03,075 --> 01:26:05,660 REGGIE: I may be small, but you have no idea 2275 01:26:05,660 --> 01:26:07,913 what I'm capable of. 2276 01:26:07,913 --> 01:26:10,165 Just ask Doug! 2277 01:26:10,165 --> 01:26:12,834 I ripped the guy's cock off! 2278 01:26:12,834 --> 01:26:15,504 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2279 01:26:15,504 --> 01:26:18,006 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2280 01:26:18,006 --> 01:26:20,592 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2281 01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:22,969 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2282 01:26:22,969 --> 01:26:25,263 ♪ It's one-nine-nine-trey, so let me just play ♪ 2283 01:26:25,263 --> 01:26:26,973 ♪ It's Snoop Dogg, I'm on the mic ♪ 2284 01:26:26,973 --> 01:26:28,642 - ♪ I'm back with Dr. Dre ♪ - (eagle screeches) 2285 01:26:28,642 --> 01:26:30,977 ♪ But this time I'm-a hit yo' ass with a touch ♪ 2286 01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:33,605 ♪ To leave motherfuckers in a daze, fucked up ♪ 2287 01:26:33,605 --> 01:26:36,108 ♪ So sit back, relax, new jacks get smacked ♪ 2288 01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:38,777 ♪ It's Snoop Doggy Dogg, I'm at the top of the stack ♪ 2289 01:26:38,777 --> 01:26:41,571 ♪ I don't lack for a second and I'm still checkin' ♪ 2290 01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:44,199 ♪ The dopest motherfucker that ya hearin' on the record ♪ 2291 01:26:44,199 --> 01:26:46,368 ♪ It's me, ya see, S-N-double-O-P ♪ 2292 01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:48,662 ♪ D-O-double-G-Y, the D-O-double-G ♪ 2293 01:26:48,662 --> 01:26:52,374 ♪ I'm fly as a falcon soarin' through the sky ♪ 2294 01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:54,251 ♪ And I'm high till I dizzie, rizzide ♪ 2295 01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:57,379 ♪ So check it, I get busy, I make your head dizzy ♪ 2296 01:26:57,379 --> 01:26:59,923 ♪ I blow up your mouth like I was Dizzy Gillespie ♪ 2297 01:26:59,923 --> 01:27:01,967 ♪ I'm crazy, you can't phase me ♪ 2298 01:27:01,967 --> 01:27:03,635 ♪ I'm the S, oh, yes, I'm fresh ♪ 2299 01:27:03,635 --> 01:27:05,137 ♪ I don't fuck with the stress ♪ 2300 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:07,806 ♪ I'm all about the chronic, bionic, ya see ♪ 2301 01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:10,809 ♪ Every single day, chillin' with the D-O-double-Gs ♪ 2302 01:27:10,809 --> 01:27:13,061 ♪ P-O-U-N-D, that's my clique, my crew ♪ 2303 01:27:13,061 --> 01:27:15,480 ♪ You fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up ♪ 2304 01:27:15,480 --> 01:27:17,482 ♪ I thought you knew, but yet and still ♪ 2305 01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:20,902 ♪ You wanna get real, now it's time to peel, you say chill ♪ 2306 01:27:20,902 --> 01:27:23,071 ♪ And feel the motherfuckin' realism ♪ 2307 01:27:23,071 --> 01:27:24,906 ♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic ♪ 2308 01:27:24,906 --> 01:27:26,575 ♪ I'm hittin' hard as steel ♪ 2309 01:27:26,575 --> 01:27:29,161 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2310 01:27:29,161 --> 01:27:31,913 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2311 01:27:31,913 --> 01:27:34,416 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2312 01:27:34,416 --> 01:27:36,835 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2313 01:27:36,835 --> 01:27:39,671 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2314 01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:42,257 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2315 01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:44,843 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2316 01:27:44,843 --> 01:27:47,679 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz. ♪ 2317 01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:49,598 (barking) 2318 01:27:52,058 --> 01:27:53,518 (song ends) 2319 01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:55,729 In addition to the multiple facial lacerations 2320 01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,648 and the, uh, severe burn wounds, 2321 01:27:58,648 --> 01:28:01,610 we also discovered an alarming amount of, um, 2322 01:28:01,610 --> 01:28:03,778 fecal bacteria in your system, 2323 01:28:03,778 --> 01:28:08,033 um, which I would imagine came from the... the... the-the... 2324 01:28:08,033 --> 01:28:09,618 Dog shitting in my mouth? 2325 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,453 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 2326 01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:16,458 Um, ba-ba-ba... checking the clipboard. 2327 01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:20,086 Uh, oh, yeah, we also, uh, uh, couldn't reattach the penis. 2328 01:28:21,671 --> 01:28:25,091 DOUG: Fuck...! 2329 01:28:25,091 --> 01:28:27,260 ♪ ♪ 2330 01:28:36,728 --> 01:28:39,231 (beatboxing) 2331 01:28:39,231 --> 01:28:41,107 ♪ Jamie ♪ 2332 01:28:42,150 --> 01:28:44,819 ♪ Jamie Foxx ♪ 2333 01:28:44,819 --> 01:28:46,696 ♪ Will Ferrell ♪ 2334 01:28:46,696 --> 01:28:48,907 (barking rhythmically) 2335 01:29:00,293 --> 01:29:03,255 ♪ Dirty, dirty dog ♪ 2336 01:29:03,255 --> 01:29:05,215 ♪ I'm a stray ♪ 2337 01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:07,384 (barking rhythmically) 2338 01:29:13,306 --> 01:29:15,392 ♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪ 2339 01:29:16,268 --> 01:29:18,270 ♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪ 2340 01:29:19,187 --> 01:29:21,398 (beatboxing and barking rhythmically) 2341 01:29:21,398 --> 01:29:23,942 ♪ I'm a str-str-stray ♪ 2342 01:29:23,942 --> 01:29:25,735 ♪ I'm a stray. ♪ 2343 01:29:25,735 --> 01:29:27,988 ♪ ♪ 2344 01:29:57,809 --> 01:29:59,936 ♪ ♪ 2345 01:30:29,841 --> 01:30:31,968 ♪ ♪ 2346 01:31:01,956 --> 01:31:04,084 ♪ ♪ 2347 01:31:33,988 --> 01:31:36,116 ♪ ♪ 2348 01:32:05,937 --> 01:32:08,064 ♪ ♪ 2349 01:32:37,969 --> 01:32:40,096 ♪ ♪ 2350 01:33:02,744 --> 01:33:04,913 (music fades)