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[garage door whirring]
[Leo clapping]
[Sean] I'm gonna take charge of this music.
- Whoo! - We play that hard shit.
[Leo] Give it to me, baby.
[upbeat rock music]
Come on, Lee, this isn't a fashion show.
Come over here and help me tune up this killing machine.
Oh!
I'm sizzy. [clicks tongue]
Stop saying that.
Hm, you know I won't.
Jackie Boy, it's your time to shine, [claps] let's do it!
Fellas, I appreciate y'all coming out
to my pre-victory party,
but if all this workout talk doesn't end right here,
I'll have to ask you guys to leave.
- [bottles clinking] - Yah!
I see, how could I miss you?
Lost in space, you're bent over backwards
Grabbing both ankles, making a pretzel
Saving yourself for something or other
You're in on a space cadette, float away again
I'm so glad when Motherfuckers like them get lost in space
I ain't missing them, don't want to see them again
You're in on a space cadette, float, float, float away
[car approaching]
- [car horn bowing] - [music stops]
Shit, Jess.
[light melodic music]
- [bottle shattering] - Oh, shit!
Come on, fight night, whoo!
[car doors clicking]
- Ah! - [car doors thudding]
What's up, babe?
You know, I had low expectations for you all,
but this, this is a new low.
I mean, fighting a handicapped kid?
Tyler is just another asshole from a rival school,
who just so happens to be deaf.
So that makes it better?
No more chitty chat, Jessica, just drive the damn car.
[claps] Can't be late to fight night!
- [crowd shouting loudly] - [mellow upbeat music]
[car rumbling quietly]
- [car door clicking] - It's show time, baby.
- All right, Jess. - [car door clicking]
[background people chattering]
[car door clicking]
[tense melodic music]
Let's go!
[crowd cheering]
Whoo!
- [car door thudding] - [mellow melodic music]
Hey, hey, make room, all right?
Make some room, make some room.
- [mellow melodic music] - [animal roaring]
Kill, kill, kill, kill
- [mellow melodic music] - [beer gushing]
Kill, kill, kill, kill
Hoo!
- Yeah! - All right, baby.
Hoo!
[crowd cheering]
[tense melodic music]
[crowd cheering]
- [tense melodic music] - [animal growling]
- All right. - [crowd cheering]
- Who's the bull? - I'm the bull!
Let's go, Jack, kick his ass!
Yo, Ryan's here, Ryan's here.
Goddamn, Ryan look bad as hell.
Yeah, now, all right, focus, focus up, go Jackie Boy.
Let's hit it!
[crowd cheering]
Hit it! [clapping]
[crowd chanting indistinctly]
All right, now, two big boys.
Ah, you bring thunder and lightning,
this can be a good one, ah, let's have a fight.
Come on, git!
- [crowd cheering] - [melodic rock music]
You want it? you want it?
- [crowd cheering] - [melodic rock music]
[crowd chanting indistinctly]
- [crowd cheering] - [melodic rock music]
Oh man, Goddamn, that boy in prison shape.
Is Jack the handicapped one here?
[Jack laughing]
[fence rattling]
- [crowd cheering] - [melodic rock music]
[blow thudding]
[Jack thudding to ground]
[crowd cheering]
Get up, Jack!
Hey, you're making us look bad!
Man, get up!
[crowd cheering]
[blow thudding]
[Jack thudding to ground]
[muffled crowd shouting]
Get up, get up now!
[Jack vomiting]
[crowd groaning]
[Jack thudding to ground]
One, two!
Oooohh!
- [sirens wailing] - The cops are here!
- Everyone, go! - [crowd shouting]
- [upbeat rock music] - [sirens wailing]
[Officer] Move along, people!
Jackie Boy!
- Wake up! - Wake your ass up, man!
- Get up, get up! - [Jack groaning]
[Officer] Move it, folks!
- [upbeat rock music] - Let's go!
- [upbeat rock music] - Stop right there, y'all!
- [crowd shouting] - Sean, stop!
What are we gonna do with him?
What are we gonna fucking do with him?
- Put him in the fucking bush. - The bush,
- just leave him there? - He's drunk as fuck, come on!
- [upbeat rock music] - Get on.
- Go, go, go, go! - Are you on, are you on?
- I'm on, go! - All right, I'm going,
I'm going, I'm going!
[crowd shouting]
- [Ryan thudding to ground] - Uh!
No, no, oh, my God!
- Oh, shit! - No!
- [bicycle clattering] - [Ryan screaming]
- [Ryan groaning loudly] - [upbeat rock music]
[Officer] Someone just got run over by a bike.
- Send an ambulance. - [Ryan groaning loudly]
Did you just run over Ryan?
- Oh, my God, oh, my God! - [upbeat rock music]
[melodic chiming music]
[Announcer on PA] Happy Friday, boys.
This is a friendly reminder that today is the last day
to buy tickets for the social tomorrow
with Our Sisters at Sacred Divinity. Go Owls.
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[Dean Whitman clearing throat]
So,
what's up?
You're not gonna believe this, Dean Whitman,
but these scratches,
they're actually from my family's new cat.
Come on, tell me, give me another lie.
I was home studying last night.
If you were home all night, then you must have spent it
getting your ass beat by that cat.
I know you haven't been home,
I know you haven't been to bed,
plus you look and smell like you've been trapped in the zoo.
Just call up the school board
and tell them you're expelling a student
for not being as well dressed and fancy groomed as you are.
I know you think you're smart, Nozak,
I mean, your grades say otherwise,
but you are smart enough to know,
that I don't have any evidence on you. But I will,
as soon as one of your little friends snitch on you.
But if you do manage to slither your way out of that one,
well, man, you still gotta face
the school board come Monday.
You're grasping at straws here.
- Am I? - I've faced the board before,
you and I both know that rumors of a schoolyard brawl
aren't solid grounds for expulsion.
You don't get it yet, but you will.
I want you to pay attention
to the morning announcements today,
'cause the fact is the school board is meeting on Monday
and changes are coming
and those changes are contingent upon your enrollment here.
What does that even mean?
It means that I need you to get out of my office,
'cause I got a lot of work to do this morning.
You stink badly.
I think you owe it to me to at least explain
what's coming my way.
I don't owe you a damn thing, son,
I just really want you to understand that.
The fact is you have got to survive until Monday.
Now I have already told you to get out of my office
and you're still sitting there.
Get up and get out of my office, son.
Get up!
[Jack sighing]
Go watch the announcements and fix your shirt!
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[car rumbling quietly]
Did you hear about what happened to Ryan?
Heard she got run over by a bike, that's some scary shit.
I mean, she might never cheer again,
but Little Miss Perfect will be okay.
They don't have any leads.
Good, cool, cool, cool.
How about we have a date night, just you and me?
Let me guess, your idea of a date night
is for me to pick you up and then go
to the Goddamn Cheesecake Factory
and then fondle each other in my basement after?
Get out of my car.
[car doors clicking]
[car door thudding]
[mellow melodic music]
By the way, thank you so much
for inviting me to the social tomorrow.
Just assumed you'd run into me there? How romantic.
Hope you and your precious friends have fun
jerking each other off.
- Murph, is that your mom? - [car door thudding]
I wouldn't mind a spanking from her. [laughing]
Fuck off, Riggs.
- [mellow melodic music] - [car rumbling]
[soft orchestral music]
[Ms. Kerpial speaking Italian]
[melodic orchestral music]
[melodic orchestral music continues]
[Ms. Kerpial slowly speaking Italian]
[melodic orchestral music]
[melodic orchestral music continues]
[tense melodic music]
[soft orchestral music]
- Leonardo. - Yeah, yeah.
I haven't lost you already, have I?
- No. - The whole point
of before school tutoring was so that I could harness
all your energy before the day starts.
Yeah, no, you, I'm following right along
and this music is so beautiful, I got lost in the words
and the lyrics really hit deep.
- Hm. - So deep.
Leonardo, this is an orchestra, there are no lyrics.
Of course, I just, what I meant like, it's,
music's really inspiring me for our poetry assignment.
- Right. - Right now.
- Okay. - Yeah.
I'm glad to hear it, but don't get too ahead of yourself.
You still have to translate this poem
before you can catch up with the rest of the class.
Right.
We're almost done, we're on the last verse.
Now pronounce this and translate it.
Key is you gotta say it fast, [speaking Italian].
Almost.
[speaking Italian slower]
[Leo speaking Italian]
Yes, yes, much better.
"Love knows no age."
Can you repeat that?
[Ms. Kerpial speaking Italian]
No, I'm sorry, could you do
like the translation one more time?
Oh, "Love knows no age."
Wow!
"Love knows no age."
Man, that one, like that one hit, you know,
that one's, that one's deep.
It's beautiful, huh?
Yeah, it's a tragic tale, but a beautiful message.
It's my favorite poem.
Is it? Wow.
Mine too.
Man, that's art really, I can feel it right here.
Well, good job today.
I think our sessions are really helping.
They are, no, I can really feel like my Italian ancestors
just flowing, flowing through me
and like a lot of blood up in my brain right now.
[laughing] Okay, all right,
well, I will see you back in class this afternoon
and I look forward to hearing your poem.
You should, I've been working on it.
[Leo speaking Italian]
That's goodnight.
Okay then,
goodnight.
[melodic chiming music]
Oh, shit, my shadow.
[footsteps thudding]
[door clicking]
- [footsteps thudding] - Hey, hey!
Hey, are you my shadow?
Yeah.
- I'm Evan. - Sorry I'm late, man,
my name's Leo, well, we gotta giddy up,
'cause I can't be tardy again.
- Okay. - All right,
so welcome to Our Lady of the Crusades.
Today's going to be fun.
Here are a few things to make your day go smoothly,
rule number one, you are now in a prison environment,
all right, OLC is basically a contained riot,
like it's all about psychological warfare here, OK?
Rule number two, nothing's off limits.
So like your mother, your sister, your sexuality,
your religion, your race,
all that will be ridiculed before lunch.
And rule number three, the nerd and the jock
are on even playing fields here, so like coolness
comes down to how disruptive you can be in class
and how much you can bench press.
A lot of animosity around here.
No one wants to sit at a table
with a kid who gets his feelings hurt.
- Hey, Leo. - Yeah.
Why is it so hot in here?
Ah, yeah, so the new wing,
which was built like 20 years ago,
has all the good AC, this is the old wing, not so much,
but honestly I'm perfectly fine right now.
So you're new in town, huh?
No, I'm from the city.
Where are you transferring from then?
St. Matthew's.
- Okay. - [door clicking]
- Close call, Grecco. - [door thudding]
Oh, you know I like to show up
fashionably on time, Mr. Marshall.
[Mr. Marshall] Yeah, I don't care, sit down.
O'Brien.
- Here. - Murphy.
Murphy?
Here.
What is that, Grecco
and why did it almost make the eye contact with me?
Oh, this is Evan, he's my shadow today.
Yeah, well, I've never met a shadow that talks, so.
He didn't say anything.
Nozak.
Ah, present!
- Peterson. - Here.
Dude, not trying to be offensive,
but you look like shit.
- Richards. - Here.
I don't know if you heard, but I had a pretty rough night.
- Salerno. - Here.
Did Jess hear anything about the bike incident?
Bro, Ryan's clueless, you're good.
- You sure? - Yes.
- Nice. - All right, ladies,
Dean Whitman has a special announcement
before class starts.
- Good morning, gentlemen. - [soft tense music]
Now as you all know,
I've got little birdies chirping everywhere
and I'm hearing a lot of chatter
about the financial stability of our school.
So let me just address this right now, short and sweet.
On Monday we will be meeting with our brothers
at St. Matthew's to discuss and vote
on the possibility of a merger between both schools.
Both of our financial situations are dire
and this is the best possible outcome for everyone.
Last and final warning,
stop rubbing PB and J sandwiches on the toilet seats,
some people have peanut allergies
and you are playing with people's lives.
Now all final details of the merger will be made public,
once we have met and they are decided on.
Until then, I don't wanna hear a word
from any of you about it.
Now it's a great day to be a Owl, gentlemen,
as always, make it a good one.
[soft tense music]
[students chattering]
Looks like you're coming here regardless, man.
Spooky stuff, allergies, mergers, gossip, ooh!
I don't care, I get paid either way,
but it looks like prom dates are gonna be a lot harder
for some of you to come by.
[Jack] I'm screwed.
What's up, Nozak? Think you're pretty tough, huh?
'Cause I'm as tough as they come.
Keep pushing my buttons
and I'm gonna show you just how tough I come.
Now, where did we leave off last week?
Come on, who knows?
Well, that's the widow maker.
What was that, big boy?
Whitman was saying some weird, ominous shit this morning,
reading between the lines, the school board voting
for a merger on Monday means I'm expelled.
Bro, you can't possibly believe,
that the merger of two entire schools
is contingent on one student, okay, relax.
He literally used that word.
Contingent?
What if one of those St. Matt's kids
tries to get between me and Ms. Kerpial?
- Medieval times. - I can't let that happen.
You're a sociopath.
Our whole lives could be changing
and the one thing you're worried about
is a student hypothetically getting molested by a teacher.
I mean, I wouldn't press charges though,
[laughing] guilty is charged.
You're in the front row.
You think I'm deaf?
Huh?
Shut the fuck up.
Okay.
- [mellow rock music] - [weights clanking]
You know daddy loves you so, Rock N Roll has got to go
[door thudding]
All right!
Listen up, chooches, pull it in.
Pull it in.
Despite the school board's best efforts,
I'm still teaching weight training
and I'm gonna do it my fucking way, you hear that?
[Gene] Yeah.
No more popcorn muscles here, all right,
we're gonna start with the chest and the biceps
and I'm gonna turn you little boys into men,
and men into full-fledged monsters, look at him!
Look at that fucking guy!
Gene, Riggs, grab two donuts each, slap them on the bar.
Let's go. Tony, I need a spot, right?
A strong, full fledged, use both hands, okay?
All right, full support, Tony, full fucking support.
- Move, move your fucking ass. - Okay.
Running around like a fucking puss, come on!
I'm not fucking around here, no giggling either.
- [weights clanking] - Let's go.
One!
Two!
Three!
Four, push it out!
Five, you big motherfucker, six!
[Tony groaning]
Seven, you fucking zombie, yeah!
- [weights clanking] - Argh, yeah!
Yeah, let's go, come on, move, yes!
Tony, you're up.
If you need a spot, let me know, all right?
Gene, fucking guy spit in my eye.
What kind of weight you repping on the bench?
Actually, Coach, I'm more interested in pliability
and elasticity than traditional weight training.
I have a naturally fluid skeletal structure.
Jesus Christ, Gene, I just got my period hearing that.
Grab a plate and run around the gym until your back hurts!
Till your fucking back hurts!
Nozak, you got more curves than my ex-wife,
I'm putting you on the Atkins, no more carbs for you.
I love my carbs, Coach.
Yogurt, baby, get used to it.
Get outta here.
Riggs, don't disappoint me, what are your numbers?
Coach, I don't know about weight,
but I can lift both my girlfriends.
Yeah, Riggs, I seen both your girlfriends
and I don't see you lifting 500 pounds.
- [students laughing] - [claps] Boom!
Yeah, boom!
Listen, I'm worried about you boys, I really am,
you don't have the balls or the brains
to defend yourself against future classmates.
Let me tell you something,
when your mommys tuck you in at night,
you better hope and pray that there is no merger,
those city boys are tough.
They're bigger, stronger, faster.
In other words, you will be somebody's bitch by lunchtime,
so bend over, get used to it and on the other hand,
he got your precious Sisters at Sacred Divinity,
fresh meat at all the games and dances for the girls.
I give it one week and your girlfriends will be banging
those boys from St. Matt's by the weekend.
By the fucking weekend!
Now how does that make you feel, huh?
Hey, Coach, what if there's no one at that school,
that can kick your ass and you don't give a shit
who your girlfriend sleeps with?
I guess you're right, Pizzo,
you only have to worry if you're fat, dumb or ugly
or at least two outta three.
- [Riggs laughing] - [hand patting]
What are you laughing at, Einstein?
Did you look in the mirror?
All right, [claps] class dismissed.
Get the fuck outta here!
[background students chattering]
[hairdryer whirring]
[background students chattering]
Hey, I said medium, this is well done.
If you have cash, you can pay here!
75 cents.
Ms. McDonald, I actually gave all my spare change
to a homeless man on the bus this morning.
Could I sign an IOU or something?
Oh, Jack, you have always been such a sweet boy.
Go ahead, I'll let this one pass.
Bless you, Ms. McDonald.
[Ms. McDonald] No, bless you, child.
Aw, sweet baby.
75 cents.
[mellow melodic music]
[mellow melodic music continues]
[Leo] Sean, Riggs, Gene, this is Jack.
What's up, Jackie Boy?
What's up, pussies?
Had to help pay rent this week?
No, actually went the homeless man today.
Yeah, we gotta enjoy the freebies while they last.
We all know the St. Matt's kids gonna come in and steal shit.
Yeah and speaking of,
that guy, Vince and a car meatheads did basically
a drive-by stare down on me this morning in tutoring.
What, the Wrecking Crew?
Yeah.
This would be our last social with just OLC guys.
You know how hard it is to talk to girls to begin with,
and now double the competition?
Not to mention I'm pretty sure Sean and I
have warrants out for our arrest.
Hey, hey, hey, you were driving.
- So? - Leave me out of this.
Oh, I'm sizzy, it was dark out plus you weighted it down,
you probably broke her spine.
This could be our last weekend as Owls.
Let's go all out this weekend.
Yeah, screw it!
So Lee, you gonna have sex at the social tomorrow,
you know what I mean?
If you'd like, I can offer you a tip or two
on how to get the ball rolling
if you just so happen to find a nice, young lady.
Right, well, I can't do that, I gotta play it cool,
'cause Ms. Kerpial is chaperoning.
Don't wanna risk her seeing anything, you know?
Yeah, that explains why you never kissed a girl before.
I hooked up on a motorcycle once,
talk about road rage, [claps] boom!
In my research, documentaries showed that men
who have the sex most are usually blue collar in status.
You should tell her you're a plumber,
pizza man or a gym teacher.
Or, even better, tell her you're a casting director
and you need to evaluate her skillset.
Gene, is your research straight up watching porn?
Oh, funny, well, I gotta go study.
See you in Italian, Leo.
[PA chiming music]
[PA Voice] All right, that's lunch. Clean up, boys.
[background students chattering]
- What's up? - Yo,
could you pass this along to Gene?
- I forgot to give it to him. - What is it?
Just some poetry assignment he needed help with.
And he asked you?
I mean, I'm just saying like, I didn't know you were a poet.
[Jack] Yeah, you learn.
Evan, we're gonna hit Italian up.
[Ms. Kerpial speaking Italian]
Hey, stallion, do you have something for me?
- [Ms. Kerpial speaking Italian] - [chalk tapping on board]
[Ms. Kerpial] Leonardo, are you following along?
Yeah, yeah.
Good, then you'll have no problem reading.
Start at the top.
Right, which we are on,
here we go.
Okay, ah, [speaking Italian badly].
Actually, Leo, I think that's an English word
you're trying to read, it's pronounced introduction.
Right.
Maybe you'll have better luck
reading that note aloud to the class.
[Class] Ooh!
All right, well, that note was just a little something
I needed to give to Gene, you know, it's no big deal.
[Ms. Kerpial] I'm sure the class would love to hear it.
Right, okay, um...
Let's see what we got here.
"My name is Lee."
You know what, there's just a bunch of gibberish on here.
- I'll give it a try. - No, you won't give it a try.
Um, can I just throw it away?
Front of the class please.
"My name is Lee Lee
and when I have to wee wee,
I take out my little pee pee
and the stink makes everyone flee flee."
[students laughing quietly]
Leonardo, you wrote that?
No.
Si, bella.
That's enough, Eugene.
Sit.
[Leo sighing]
Honestly, Leo, I'm pretty surprised by this.
- No, okay-- - I always thought
you were one of my more mature students.
I am one of your more mature students, Ms. Kerpial,
you know that, okay...
I've been compared to a full grown stallion before.
You know I would never do something like that, okay?
And you know that I look out for all the women horses here,
'cause I, um, provide for the herd or,
no, what I'm trying to say is that like I'm mature and--
I think you're misinformed on how horses live.
But no, okay, what I'm trying to say
is like I'm the Ferrari logo, okay,
I'm a fast, Italian, mature man that doesn't--
That's quite enough.
Maybe a JUG will teach you
not to make a joke of our class time.
[mellow melodic music]
All right, class, who would like to read?
[background students chattering]
So you pumped for the social?
Yeah, whatever, Riggs.
[locker door clanking]
What are you doing? That's not your locker.
Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm going tomorrow,
got the GF coming over.
I've been charging the Xbox controller all day.
What, she's a gamer?
Oh, she's game all right, vibration mode, you know.
- "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" - [melodic chiming music]
- [Riggs thudding] - Oh!
- Sup, Riggs! - Friday!
[students cheering]
Let's go baby.
- [students cheering] - [tense melodic music]
[melodic rock music]
[melodic rock music continues]
Watching you
Underneath the glowing light
It's killing me
To see the way you look tonight
'Cause suddenly
Everything has changed
A look from you
Will take away all my pain
[Student] You got JUGged! [laughing]
She's gonna make an honest man outta me someday, man.
- Hey, Leo. - [locker doors clanking]
- Yeah. - I just wanna thank you
for everything today, I really appreciate it.
Yeah, man, I'll see you around, okay.
Yeah, you will.
What the hell, yo, did you do this? What's up?
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
[Student] Sack-tap Friday, bitch!
[mellow melodic music]
[Leo groaning]
[mellow melodic music]
[mellow melodic music continues]
What's up, man?
- [mellow melodic music] - [background people chattering]
Pizzo, you know if this the the line for the, uh...
contraceptives?
Huh?
[locker door clanking]
Jimmys, bro.
Murphy, are you trying to ask me
if this is where you get dong bags?
Yeah.
Yeah, man, this is the line.
But next time just say dong bags, we're all men here.
- What's up, boys? - [Sean thudding]
You getting some dong bags for the weekend?
Yeah, a last resort, I keep getting acne down there.
Pizzo, bro, I'm pretty sure that's just herpes.
No, no, you only get that on your mouth, idiot.
Besides, they say like only one in three have it.
Yeah, you idiot.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some dong bags to buy.
Whoa, Murphy, what can I do for you?
I'd like to purchase one dong bag please.
Sean, my man, a dong bag?
The only thing I sell here are pecker sleeves.
Yeah, you virgin.
Well, I guess I'll take one of those.
Sure thing, Murphy, 20 bucks.
20 bucks?
Yeah, boys, ever since all this talk of the merger,
people have been buying out of panic,
which means I can barely keep up stock. Supply and demand.
Don't worry, they're reversible,
so it's a great bang for your buck.
My man.
[students whispering]
- Ssh! - Let's go, gang,
- let's go, let's go. - [leaves rustling]
Should we feel bad about this?
No, man, it's just a bag.
We're not setting the dude's house on fire.
Besides, this is nothing compared
to what the St. Matt's kids do to him.
I don't even know why I agreed to do this,
like come on, man, like we're older than this.
You're the one who traded garbage duty
at JUG tomorrow with Jack, you know he loves good prank.
What the hell are you doing?
Come on, let's light the bag, I'll ring the bell
and then we all run like hell.
Chill out, after last week,
we're taking no chances with this lunatic, Mr. Podkowa.
[phone buzzing]
You serious?
It's Jess.
Let it go to voicemail then.
[phone buzzing]
Don't do it, don't you--
Hey, hey, babe.
I'm doing a little team-building activity with the guys,
mind if I give you a call back?
Look, I know how important
your extracurricular activities are,
but this is a matter regarding your safety
- and I'll be quick. - Sure, babe,
you know I've always got time for you.
- What's the word? - It's about this merger,
you know my dad's on the school board
and this is feeling like a bigger deal,
than I think you realize,
it's less of a merger and more of a hostile takeover.
- Ah-huh. - Okay, okay, okay.
Oh, where'd you get the shit?
Dude, that's not important.
We have a job to do, Pizzo, come on.
- Okay. - [light clicking]
[gun clicking]
- [gun firing] - Uh!
- [tense melodic music] - [Pizzo groaning]
Pizzo! Jesus Christ, old man, it's just a prank!
What the hell? Oh, fuck! [laughing]
Yeah, I guess you didn't know I was retired PD, huh, huh?
- [Pizzo groaning] - He's just killed Pizzo.
[Jess chattering indistinctly]
[tense melodic music]
These crowd control bags are great for making my point,
instead of killing every punk who crosses me.
Beanbag, it's just a beanbag,
we're good, we're good, we're good.
You'll basically be in the ghetto
and that's just not safe.
Now, you got a choice, boy,
you either eat everything that's in that bag
or you take one of these bags straight to the belly
and one to the balls for good measure.
- We gotta do something. - [Jess chattering indistinctly]
And take a beanbag? No, I'm fine.
This weekend should be all about us.
No more friends dragging you through unwanted drama.
So what's it gonna be, boy, hm?
It's getting late and you know what?
It's chow time.
[tense melodic music]
[Mr. Podkowa laughing]
Hang up the phone, hang up the phone,
- hang up the phone now. - Hey.
What the hell, are you even listening?
Ah-huh.
- [Riggs shrieking] - [melodic rock music]
Scatter, every man for himself!
[Mr. Podkowa shrieking]
[both thudding to ground]
- [kick thudding] - Uh!
Hoo hoo! Should've pulled the trigger, Podkowa!
Let's get outta here!
You should've pulled the trigger, old man!
- [melodic rock music] - Holy shit!
[gun firing]
[roars] Come back, I'll get you!
That's right, run, you run!
- [Pizzo thudding to ground] - Uh!
This guy's shit faced, get off! [laughing]
Shit.
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
- [Pizzo thudding to ground] - Boom! [laughing]
Whoo hoo!
[Jack] Too much mold.
Hey.
This is JUG, tuck that shirt in, boy.
[Jack] It's a Saturday.
Bet you'd like a bite of this, huh?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Really would. - No, but not for you.
Yogurt.
Hey, Tony, wrap up on that tackle!
Pretend it's your stepsister, know what I mean? [roars]
What's going on, Murph?
What up, Coach?
Listen, I know you're our second string receiver,
but I need you to catch the ball once in a while.
What's going on with you?
I'm fine, I don't really wanna talk about.
Come on, open up, Murph, what do you got?
School, family, lady problems?
You could talk to me, I had a kid once.
No, my grades, they fine, family straight.
My girl and I...
Murphy, listen to me, women, kids, they come and go,
stick with your friends.
I mean, in your case, make new ones.
Listen, I'm sure if you bang her good,
everything will work out.
Broads love that, you know what I mean? [laughing]
I'm just kidding, listen, but do the right thing.
Hey, Grecco, that water's for the athletes!
Drama kids next to the girls' bathroom.
Right, my bad, Coach, I was just filling it up.
Hey, come here for a second.
No, I'm geeing back to JUG right now, I promise.
[Coach Krieger] Just a second, come here.
You and Murphy, you're buds, right?
Yeah.
Do me a favor,
help him sort out his problems with the old lady,
he's too distracted on the field.
I mean, I've told him a couple of times,
but you know, high school relationships, young love
and that's how it goes.
I stay away from that just for that reason.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
What are you working with?
Huh?
What, what's that?
What I'm working--
- You know, chicks. - Oh, like what?
[Coach Krieger] Yeah, what you working?
- Ah, cougars, ah, like- - Ooh!
Like early, late, late twenties, late twenties.
Cougars? Not bad, maybe I was all wrong about you, kid.
Remember what I'm gonna tell you. Always date older chicks.
Thank you.
They're desperate, they'll do anything, I mean anything
and they'll treat you like a king, you know what I mean?
- Yeah. - Get your helmet on,
fucking skin dive, you know what I mean?
Skin dive, like...?
I'm talking about skin dive.
Right, no, all right, yeah.
Get it, because you got cougars?
- Yeah, thanks, Coach. - That's my thing.
- Yeah. - Huh?
- No, you're right. - Check in with me.
Now get the fuck outta here, all right?
- Okay. - I got a reputation here.
End of practice, boys!
[upbeat synth music]
[music continues]
It's been so long
Without you
I'm so lonely, baby, I'm feeling blue
Had to cool it down
Had to shake you off
You got me a-running
Baby, I need your touch
I'm gonna move tonight
I'm gonna make my move tonight
I'm gonna move tonight
I'm gonna make my move tonight
[melodic upbeat music continues]
[crockery clattering]
Got a taste of your loving
[background people chattering]
[tinsel curtain rustling]
You've gone running around
Looking for what we had
I'm gonna move tonight
I'm gonna make my move tonight
What's up, ladies?
Glad you lovebirds could make it.
You guys remember Caitlyn, right?
Hey.
Hi.
Yeah.
Girls do love a fixer upper, right?
Such a shame that this mansion's still on the market.
Man, the economy hurting everybody in different ways.
Right.
You'd better not be looking at any of these skanks.
Skanks, I don't look at any skanks.
Goddamn, you look bad as hell.
You always know the right thing to say to cheer me up.
It's just a test, you passed.
"I'm Jess?"
Yeah.
Made you one.
Oh, Bae, you shouldn't have, this is so cool.
"If lost, return to Jess?"
[Jess] Yeah, put it on.
Ah, you know, we gonna be bumping and grinding.
You know, I'm a big guy, I don't really--
On.
- [background upbeat music] - [background people chattering]
So I've been thinking.
I'm listening.
Well, I think tonight is the night.
Yeah, babe, tonight's our night.
No.
Tonight's...
the night.
[Jess giggling]
[melodic upbeat music]
[melodic upbeat music continues]
[Singer] Thanks, guys, seatbelt.
Baby girl, you look so fine
I'ma take you for a ride, yeah
Mom don't need the keys tonight
So I'm about to pull up
Hop in the Astron van
Text me on the family plan, yeah
You look like you need a man
So I'm about to pull up
Sugar how you look so fine
Fly passenger side
Sliding, gliding all through the night
And now you're in my ride
Ooh, babe, what you know
I wanna go where you go
Slow, slow, slow or fast
Click-it or ticket, girl, please don't make me ask
Baby girl, you look so fine
I'ma take you for a ride, yeah
Man don't need the keys tonight
So I'm about to pull up
Hop in the Odyssey
Yeah girl, it's just you and me
Holy shit! It's worse than I thought.
It's not nearly as bad as I thought it'd be, bro.
Pizzo told me she had a broken spine.
You kidding me, dude, seriously?
[background students chattering]
The police report stated that she got run over
in the wrong way and now she's infertile.
[whispering] It's my fault.
I'm taking you everywhere
Sugar how you get so fly
Yeah, what if she thinks it's me, does she know it's me?
God, I can't go over there,
criminals always return to the scene of the crime.
Dude, she literally thinks that the sun is still
the backside of the moon, just go talk to her, pussy.
No, I'm not gonna go talk to her.
- Just go talk to her, pussy. - No.
Oh, Jesus!
- Screw this, no, screw this. - What?
I'm about to pull up
Hop up in the Malibu, we got go pick up the crew
- [table thudding] - Uh!
And we about to pull up
[both speaking Italian]
Good evening.
Right, good evening, [speaking Italian].
Look, what happened in class today, you have to believe me,
- I had nothing to- - I do.
You do what?
Believe you.
Good, 'cause you know me, I'm more mature than that,
you know, like all these guys can be so immature at times
and it's honestly really hard to stoop to their level
on a daily basis.
- Hm. - Yeah.
So wait, ah, if you knew I didn't write it,
why did you give me such a hard time?
Look, I was doing you a favor.
You don't want everyone thinking that you're a teacher's pet
because of how much time we spend together
tutoring before school, so the class needed to know
there are no favorites.
Hm, I guess that makes sense.
So Leonardo, why are you here talking to me,
when there are all these cute high school girls
waiting for a dance?
Look, this stallion has a lot of built up horsepower,
okay and I don't think any of these girls have what it takes
to ride the bull, you know, or stallion,
you know what I'm saying?
[laughing] Okay.
Um...
[music continues]
You know, I hate seeing you stand here
and during a such great song, um,
and I would totally ask you to dance if you would want to.
Grecco.
Ah, this might be a crazy concept for you to understand,
but the keyword in social is socializing,
not begging Ms. Kerpial for a D minus.
May I have the honor?
Signor Marshall, thank you for relieving me of my shift.
Have a good weekend, boys.
You too, Ms. Kerpial.
- [background pop music] - [background people chattering]
Ah, listen, Grecco.
Oh, okay.
- [alcohol pouring] - A little bit of advice.
Next time you see Kerpial flirting with me,
best take a hike, yeah.
- What? - Right, okay.
What, you don't,
you got your big dick jeans on today, Grecco?
No, sir, just my 32 regulars.
This isn't your MO, Grecco,
sure you wanna play the role of tough guy tonight?
All right, Mr. Marshall, it is so painfully obvious,
that you and I are now locked into a love triangle
and at this moment, I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna have to take you down.
Love triangle? Are you actually delusional enough
to think you have a chance with a smoke show like her?
You're a child and she's a grown ass woman.
And you think you have a chance?
I could set up a kissing booth right here, right now
and double your salary.
Wow, Grecco, I'm thrilled to see that your balls
- [hand slapping] - finally dropped.
So I'll tell you what, you get a kiss on the cheek
from any girl here, any one right now
and I'll stop talking to Kerpial completely.
Oh, I'm sorry, wait, that would require you
to actually talk to girls,
and from what I hear, that's not your strong suit,
so I guess, uh,
oh, well.
Keep dreaming, kid.
- [hand slapping] - Yee!
Fucking creep.
- [background pop music] - [background people chattering]
[Mr. Marshall] You get a kiss on the cheek.
You're a child. Any girl in here.
And she's a grown-ass woman.
- [students laughing] - Keep dreaming, kid,
that would require you to actually talk to girls.
Leo!
Ryan.
I, ah, well, I-I totally intended on saying hey
the other night at the park.
- Yes. - Before things got so hectic.
I've just been so embarrassed, I debated even coming, so.
Yeah, no, that's terrible, I'm so sorry.
No, don't be sorry, I know who did this.
You do?
Yeah, my ex-boyfriend Vince definitely set this up.
It's probably someone from the Wrecking Crew.
Yes, hm, yeah, he did and you'd best believe that,
the first chance that the L-Train gets,
he's gonna deep six him, you know, pretty quick.
[Ryan laughing]
So Vince's ex, huh?
Yes, ah, we dated over the summer unfortunately.
- Hm. - Yep.
Yeah, that makes sense then.
It does?
No, oh, what I mean like is like, you know,
he's the popular kid at St. Matthew's
and you're the cheerleader here
and you know, like doing the math,
it's just like calculations, that checks out, you know.
Yeah. You're, uh, [chuckles] you're really funny.
Thanks.
Are you gonna ask me to dance or--?
Right, yeah, uh...
[Ryan] Yeah.
You know, next slow song, I'm, I'm all yours.
Uh, excuse me, I'll be right back, okay.
Okay.
- [background pop music] - [background people chattering]
[Leo breathing deeply]
[door thudding]
She doesn't know, it wasn't your fault.
[indistinct]
Fine, fine, come on, man, come on.
[hands slapping]
Hoo!
Okay.
[door clicking]
- [background pop music] - [background people chattering]
I don't know why I even came to this thing.
Boys at this school are completely oblivious in general,
but somehow, I chose the most oblivious one of all.
Come on, man, just ask her to dance, just be a man.
- [soft tense music] - You're a stallion.
- [blow thudding]
Uh!
- [Leo thudding to ground] - [tense melodic music]
[Student] Are you sure this is him?
Yeah, that's him.
[tense melodic music]
- Evan, are you kidding? - [Leo thudding]
"Oh, I'm sizzy."
Wrecking Crew for life, bitch.
What's up, man, are you hitting on my girlfriend?
Vince, right?
No, no, no, okay, this is a misunderstanding, this--
- Don't think that I don't know. - No, no, no,
this is a big misunderstanding, okay?
I didn't do anything, she came up to me, all right?
My bad, it was an accident.
- [tense melodic music] - [Vince spitting]
Oh, so you were involved, huh?
It's not just at this school,
every guy that I've gone out with
can talk about football for hours,
but is literally incapable of talking about his feelings
- at any given moment. - Okay, so what do I do?
I mean, if I make the first move,
I intimidate him and look stupid.
If I don't, I die of old age
waiting for him to do something.
I'm not gonna lie, Grecco, it was just a hunch,
but thanks for confirming.
Okay, wait, wait, hang on, hang on!
- Nothing happened, okay. - Are you
slamming my girl?
I'll answer that again, no,
I swear to you, nothing happened!
- I didn't hit on her. - Good.
Yes, I'm gonna keep it that way.
- Yeah! - Relax, everybody.
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
[Leo thudding to ground]
[students laughing]
These guys, they either think you're a prude or a slut,
- so just make the first move. - [toilet flushing]
Ryan, please don't listen to Caitlyn's advice
on how to get the fastest reputation
and how to never end up with a serious boyfriend.
You'll end up a super senior like her.
My advice, fuck Leo and any other guy,
that doesn't have the emotional intelligence
to even know what he wants.
Oh, because you and Sean are so emotionally intelligent?
[laughing] You're a bully to him and everyone else you meet.
Do you think he actually likes you
or is just too afraid to say otherwise?
- [toilet flushing] - Watch your mouth.
Cute sweater, did your nana make it?
Sorry to be nosy, girls, but you all sound pathetic.
Hey, Leprecunts.
I'll deal with you juvenile delinquents after the merger,
but until then, Grecco's my problem and you're trespassing.
[soft tense music]
Right.
- [Vince spitting] - Uh!
[Vince whispering] To be continued.
[soft tense music]
High school boys will do whatever you want
except for their Goddamn homework.
You've got the rest of your lives to play by the rules,
just have your fun while you can.
[muffled pop music]
Fuck what they say.
[Leo breathing heavily]
Appreciate it, Mr. Marshall.
[Leo breathing heavily]
That was a close call, Grecco,
but ah, the deal was you were supposed to swap spit
with a girl, not a dude.
Damn,
guess those rumors are true.
[background pop music]
You in line?
Have you seen Sean or Leo?
Dude, what does it look like I'm doing?
I'm waiting for Sean
and no, I haven't seen your little buddy, Leo,
check the girls' room.
[claps] So, how's school going for you?
Oh, you know, the honor roll's great.
What about you, fight any more defenseless, crippled kids?
Jesus, Jessica, you can't say shit like that anymore
and if anything, I was the cripple.
Sean didn't tell you about the whole sixth sense thing?
Must have forgot.
So,
do you have any single friends by chance?
I don't like to assume things, but Jackie needs a mamasita.
Yeah, I got plenty.
Well, do you happen to have any,
that you could possibly set me up with?
Ooh, I don't know if any of my friends
are into the fat guy fetish, besides Caitlyn.
Why the fuck would you even say that?
Wait, Caitlyn likes me?
Dude, you think she's using you for your looks?
[door clicking]
- [door thudding] - Baby, hi!
Leo just called,
said something about running into the Wrecking Crew.
He was huffing and puffing pretty loud,
so I didn't really hear what he was saying.
He said he was gonna meet us at the party though.
Such a drama queen!
Damn, Jack, I don't understand why we had to park so far.
Party rule 101, baby, never crowd the house,
can't draw any suspicion.
Besides, this actually works out for us.
- [Leo neighing] - What the fuck?
- [leaves rustling] - It's me, it's me, me!
- Come on, man. - [shushes] Don't speak.
What the hell are you doing in there?
[shushes] Is the coast clear?
- Yeah, the coast is clear. - Are you sure?
Yes, what are you doing?
Okay.
[leaves rustling]
- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on with your face, what happened?
What happened?
I told you what happened, I got jumped by the Wrecking Crew.
Are you for real about that?
See, I never know when you're joking around.
Why would I joke about that?
You okay?
Yeah, I mean, like yeah,
one donkey kick from the stallion sent them running,
but I swear they're gonna be back.
Always a spectacle with this one.
Jess, come on.
I, I mean, Lee, why would they attack you?
It's not adding up, it don't make sense.
Well, it kind of does make sense,
'cause you know the whole entire bike situation with Ryan?
So turns out, she's Vince's ex
and somehow he found out that it was us.
- I mean, Jess, - You ran over Ryan?
[Leo] No, ah, yes.
- Oh, my God, you're dead men. - Jess.
I heard a rumor once that Vince hospitalized a college guy
for just trying to talk to her.
Good luck with that, stallion.
Relax, yo, nothing's going down tonight.
We outnumber those cucks a hundred to one.
Well, that's what I thought too, but remember my shadow?
- Yeah. - Evan,
turns out he was an informant for St. Matt's, okay,
so that means there might be more of them in there.
Okay, what I need you guys to do is I need you guys
to go in there and just survey the premises
to make sure nothing's fishy, okay, all right?
Yeah, okay, bye.
No, I need you to do this for me.
- Yeah, yeah, man. - Promise?
I just need you to take a look around, all right.
- I got you, I got you. - When the coast is clear?
Yes, I got you, I got you, just chill in the bush
and wait for the call, we got you.
Thank you, I'll gallop to like the side entrance, okay,
the side entrance.
[leaves rustling]
[student vomiting]
- [background mellow music] - [background people chattering]
[Pizzo laughing and clapping]
Yo, shit, come on, boy, come on, boy.
Okay now, give me a hand, let's go, let's go.
[Pizzo thudding]
- Pizzo, hey! - Hey, bro!
Yeah, let's go, smoke a cig, baby.
[both laughing]
- [background mellow music] - [background people chattering]
Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb?
You tell me that you love me but I'm done
Why you only call me when you're drunk
Why you play with my emotions, you be having fun
Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb?
Tell me that you love me, but I'm done
Bowser junior on you motherfuckers,
I be spitting fire
Skirting in the fast lane, ooh, Imma need new tires
Just to piss you off, Imma hit your best friend now
Walk in on the act. Jaw dropping all you said was wow!
[bottle shattering]
Why you only call me when you're drunk
Why you play with my emotions, you be having fun
Talking all that shit, you think I'm dumb?
Tell me that you love me, but I'm done
[All] Go, go, go, go!
[ball clattering]
You know, I'm an athlete.
- Two shots. - Hm.
Let's go.
- [background mellow music] - [background people chattering]
Okay, perfect, well, we shook hands, kissed babies,
- Let's Irish goodbye. - Come on, babe,
we just got here.
Plus I told Jack we got next game.
Right, promised Jack the next game, right.
I can't believe I actually thought you'd go through
with this whole, "This night's about us" bullshit.
I mean, come on, Sean,
this is exactly what I was talking about.
God, you let your friends drag you
through unnecessary trouble and drama 24/7
and we keep drifting further and further apart.
I don't know how much more disappointment
I can take from you.
You're right.
Tonight was supposed to be all about us, right?
Come on, let's get up outta here.
[Jack] You're not actually going, are you?
- [background mellow music] - [background people chattering]
Babe, you sure you wanna do this tonight?
You sure, you sure you're ready for this?
Shut up.
Hey, the coast is clear.
Psst, up here!
[leaves rustling]
Are you sure?
Well, if they're not in there, then they must be out here,
so I'd hurry up.
Good point.
[leaves rustling]
It's a lot higher than I thought, oh, God!
[Leo thudding to ground]
Let's go.
[footsteps thudding]
[door clicking]
- [background mellow music] - [background people chattering]
Cheers.
Did you have fun tonight?
Why, you leaving?
I'm not leaving here until someone drags me home.
I'm talking about the social.
Yeah, duh, we always have fun together.
[washing machine buzzing]
- So, Caitlyn. - Mm-hm?
- I got a question for you. - Mm-hm.
How's it feel to be dating the bad boy,
who's about to be expelled from high school?
Ah, last time I checked,
- [door thudding] - I'm not dating anyone
and from what I hear, the rumors of your expulsion
have been greatly exaggerated
and as the only super senior, take it from me,
just keep fucking shit up.
Well, at least we can still agree that I'm a wild child.
I guess it's good for my rep,
if people think I'm dating a rebel.
Dating? Last I checked, you weren't dating anyone.
Touché.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
[background people chattering]
- Hey, whoa, fuck off, Grecco. - Sorry.
[door thudding]
Girl, you know I'm in love
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
[Ryan] You made it.
Ah, [laughing] yeah, I did.
- Yeah. - I made it.
Um, I'm here in the flesh alive.
[laughing] It's you.
[Leo] It's me.
Um, I saw a keg back in the laundry room,
I think we should grab a drink.
In that room?
Yeah, laundry room, me, you now.
- No, it's- - Okay.
I'm right behind you.
Three, four, five!
- [beer gushing] - [Gene coughing]
five whole seconds.
This is Giorgio Armani, you can't dry clean this.
- It'll never come out. - Oh.
Wait, Gene, leave it open in here.
- [door thudding] - Okay.
What's up, Ryan?
Hey, Tony.
So I don't know if you saw, but I DMed you a couple times.
Oh, nice.
Oh, yo, ah, me too actually.
That reminds me, I'm so sorry,
I didn't respond back to your DM.
Wait, you've been DMing Grecco?
I, like once or twice,
but you know, he's a hard pony to tame.
[laughing] Stallion.
Damn, Grecco, just don't fuck this up,
- 'cause I've got dibs next. - All good.
Yo, let's go steal some of those lawn ornaments
from the neighbors and put them out front.
Totally, man, I'll work out with you soon,
maybe like, who knows?
[door thudding]
Great guys.
Yeah, they seem nice.
[cicadas chirping]
Baby, are you sure this is okay?
[Jess] Yeah, baby.
Maybe, um, maybe find a spot more secluded,
tree cover or something?
I just seen an old lady walk past
with a whole pack of dogs.
[car rumbling quietly]
Did you see that? Somebody gonna spot us, call the cops.
I can't go to juvie, Mom gonna kill me.
God, Sean, will you shut up?
Look, we're down the street from a house party
and you seriously think a parked car's gonna be suspicious?
I just thought our first time
was gonna be a little bit more romantic, hm?
Well, sweetheart, I'm sorry I can't deflower you
at the Edison Park Motel or would you prefer
we keep fooling around in my basement avoiding my sisters?
- [Tony knocking on window] - Hello?
- Oh, shit, it's Tony. - Damn!
[Tony] Who's in there? Murphy, Murphy, is that you?
Come on, open up.
I'm gonna kill him.
No, no, ssh, ssh!
- Quiet, quiet. - I know somebody's in there.
- I wanna see. - Quiet.
- Come on, let me in. - What the hell are you doing?
Come on, man, let's go back to the party,
I can't find any stray cats to put in the house.
[Tony] Aw, man, that prank is classic.
[Pizzo] [laughing] Yeah, man.
All right, I'll see you.
[Tony] Pizzo, wait up, man, it's dark out here.
Well, did you come prepared?
All right, I know this isn't ideal,
this is only gonna make us closer.
I want us to do this together.
I love you, Sean.
I love you too.
- He's a dead man. - House is down the street.
I can smell Grecco's pussy from here.
He's at that party, I know it.
You're like a damn bloodhound, Vince.
[soft tense music]
- [hand slapping] - Uh!
[door handle rattling]
[Jess] Where the hell are you going?
You put it on the child lock?
Yeah, 'cause I knew something like this was gonna happen.
- [door handle rattling] - Come on, Jess.
Will you shut the fuck up,
you keep comparing us to animals
and it's the dumbest shit that I've ever heard.
My buddy told me that he was there.
[soft tense music]
Pick it up.
Put it in your fucking mouth.
[soft tense music]
Don't ever fucking touch me again, you dumb redneck.
Let's go to jail tonight.
[soft tense music]
- [door handle rattling] - I gotta stop them,
I gotta go warn Lee, if I don't, they're gonna kill him.
Are you seriously gonna leave me
in the middle of our first time?
You'd rather get your ass beat than have sex with me?
- Sorry, babe, rain check. - [car door clicking]
You know what, you three deserve each other!
- [car door thudding] - We're fucking done!
[muffled mellow melodic music]
Aren't you pussies a little far from the ghetto?
This doesn't concern you, Tony, where's Grecco?
Yeah, he's in here,
but don't you bitches have an elephant walk to get to?
Fuck you, Tony.
The Goddamn shirt again.
Yeah, well, your sister already did, so go home
and tell Dad she'll be late for dinner tonight.
Now get the fuck out of here.
I'll kill you for that, I'm not afraid.
[Vince spitting]
[muffled mellow melodic music]
- [beer gushing] - Whoa, that's enough.
What? [laughing]
There you go.
Thank you.
So why haven't you responded to my DMs?
Like just been overwhelmed and there's just, you know,
it's like Santa's list, just who's naughty, who's nice,
you know, kind of get lost.
Oh, yeah?
[Leo] Yeah, yeah.
And what list do I fall on?
Ah, well, I mean, if we're strictly talking
like personality wise, nice, the nicest.
Nice?
[Leo] Hm, nicest.
So what list would you land on?
Me, I would probably fall on like bad,
like I, I think I would like--
- Bad? - Naughty.
Naughty?
- Probably. - [Caitlyn shrieking]
[Jack and Caitlyn thudding to floor]
- Whoa! - Caitlyn.
- Oh, oh my- - Let me help.
How long have you been in there?
- I'm in a skirt, let's go. - Okay.
- Let's go. - You're good.
Leo, hey!
Look at you go, nice, bro.
I owe you one, you saved my ass back there, bro.
I am way too drunk for a heart to heart, stallion.
I know, that's my bad, I just,
I don't know what I'm doing.
Ryan was this close,
milliseconds away from kissing me, bro,
- this close. - I'm not gonna lie,
that naughty nice line you just pulled, pretty impressive.
You liked that one, that was pretty good.
Just, bro, I can't do this, okay, just can't do it.
- [hand slapping] - Uh!
What was that for?
Get it together, Leo.
What are you talking about?
Tony and Pizzo will gladly try to commit the robbery.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about, what am I talking about?
- [Leo thudding] - Damn!
What was that for?
[Jack] Your first kiss is out of the way!
What the hell, bro?
[Jack] The world's your Goddamn oyster, go get them!
Calm seas never made skilled sailors!
- [door thudding] - Are you okay?
Hey, we gotta get the hell outta here.
Is that a balloon in your pocket,
or are you just excited to see us?
Shit.
I guess that's what my headboard feels like.
There's no time to explain,
I honestly ran in here for a reason, Wrecking Crew's here.
- [soft tense music] - [phone ringing]
- Oh. - Who is that?
- [Vince knocking] - You,
get your ass out here now.
Light, light.
[background mellow melodic music]
One's not enough for this guy, huh?
Well, he's going for everything I got,
he's making me look like a bitch!
What are we gonna do, Vince?
Tony's not gonna let us in, I gotta get my dad's car back,
- I can't be out all night. - Ssh!
If that fucking rat won't come out of his hole,
then we're gonna smoke him out.
- [soft tense music] - Chubbs, give me my phone.
The rest of you get in the bushes around the house,
wait for my signal.
[soft tense music]
- [phone line ringing] - [Operator] 911 Emergency.
I'm at 1111 Osceola Street,
there's a party and I just heard gunshots, hurry, please.
[Operator] Stay calm, sir, help is on--
[phone beeps]
[soft tense music]
- [background melodic music] - [background people chattering]
No.
Yeah, I'm dead.
Leo, I'm so sorry I got you involved in this.
- Vince is crazy. - I found that out.
Will you guys shut the hell up?
We outnumber them 100 to one, right, Jack?
Come on, come on, bro.
Wake up, wake up.
[Leo] Don't black out right now, man.
[gasping] They're en route.
Jack, what's that?
He's probably just having a bad dream or something,
- he'll be fine. - Three squad cars,
eight blocks out, Paddy wagon not far behind.
ETA three minutes, maybe less.
Okay, what the hell was that?
That's his sixth sense kicking in.
Somebody called the cops, now we really gotta go.
Come on, man, get your drunk ass up.
Hey, hey, hey, it's only a couple blocks to my house.
We make it there and we're good.
In your boot?
- Yeah, yeah. - You can make that?
Yeah, I'll try.
Get your bitch ass up.
- [siren wailing] - [car rumbling]
[chair clattering]
We stay down here till the chaos upstairs sorts itself out.
I'm sure we'll be able to slip away.
You know kids go crazy when they see 12 pull up.
[gasping] They've arrived.
- [sirens wailing] - [cars rumbling]
Sean, you sure that we're gonna be safe down here?
- [Stident knocking] - Open the door, you idiots,
there's 100 of us here, we need to get through the back!
Well shit!
- [door handle rattling] - Open the door!
[Student knocking]
Open up, Grecco, 5-0's inside turning the place over,
so I know you're fucked!
What the hell do we do?
I don't know about y'all, I'm going out fighting.
We're gonna need the bull. Come on, buddy, come on!
Wake up man, wake up, Jack!
- [Wrecking Crew knocking] - Grecco!
- [door handle rattling] - [tense melodic music]
- Go! - [door thudding]
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
[blow thudding]
- [tense melodic music] - [students scuffling]
Go!
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
- Bitch! - Wait, hold up!
[Vince thudding to floor]
- The bull is back, baby. - Get that bitch!
Get over here, pussy!
- [bottle shattering] - Uh!
[Chubbs thudding to floor]
Let's go, come on, run!
Go, go, go, go, go!
- [Sean shrieking] - [bodies thudding]
Oh, Jesus, fuck!
Wait, wait, wait, take that off.
[Caitlyn] Gimme the boot! Fuck!
- Upstairs? - Upstairs, it's the only way.
A drinking ticket, way better than an a--
Okay, just fucking go, just go!
[Officer] Hey, open the damn door!
- Shit! - Pizzo!
Holy shit, dude!
This is the craziest party I've ever been to!
- [door clicking] - Leo!
- [tense melodic music] - [students scuffling]
- Go, go, go! - Go!
[soft tense music]
Don't fucking run from me, bitch.
- [sirens wailing] - [car rumbling]
- [tires screeching] - [car door clicking]
[Officer] Move it, folks!
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
- [officer thudding] - Uh!
- [student vomiting] - Let's go, let's go.
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
[Officer] Get over there, get over there!
Just get over there!
- Taser, taser, taser! - [taser buzzing]
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
[indistinct yelling]
- [Officer] Stop right there! - I'm sober, I'm sober.
- Come on, come on, come on! - We got a bogey on the roof.
Out of the way, out of the way!
- [feet thudding] - Uh!
It wasn't me, I'm sorry!
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
[Sean] Go, go, go!
- [sirens wailing] - [background people shouting]
[Officer] Stop where you are, freeze!
- I gotta think. - Come on!
Go through the neighborhood. Jump over this fence!
Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up!
[Vince] Don't let them get away!
Leo, help me, help me.
Come on.
- [tense melodic music] - [background people shouting]
They're coming!
- [intense melodic music] - [all shouting]
- Uh! - [water splashing]
[all shouting]
- It's a fucking 4-foot pool! - I know.
- Ah! - [water splashing]
What the fuck!?
[water sloshing]
[soft tense music]
That's right, that's, that's, uh...
Hey, guys, if we go this way to Ryan's,
then I think that we're gonna go in the stupidest--
- [car horn tooting] - [tires screeching]
- [Jack gasping] - [car thudding loudly]
- Guys! - Jack!
Get you up, you're okay, you're okay.
All right, 911, let's go, hospital.
- No, no! - Hospital.
- [tense melodic music] - Leo?
Abandon ship, abandon ship. Go, go, go, go, go, go!
[tense melodic music]
- [door clicking] - Let's go,
let's go, let's go!
- [tense melodic music] - [all chattering]
[Leo] Wait, Riggs.
Wow, I heard of a surprise party,
but this is a whole different level.
Nice work, Nozak.
- [hands slapping] - [both laughing]
What the hell's going on here, Lukey?
Mr. Riggs, my savior, oh, can you please help us?
I said don't run.
- Wrecking Crew! - [blow thudding]
- [tense melodic music] - [all scuffling]
[Leo] Riggs, go, go!
- We'll fuck you up! - [kicks thudding]
Kick him in the fucking face!
[door thudding]
Come on, man, let's get your drunk ass home.
Come on, guys, come on, come on, come on.
My house is only a couple of blocks away.
[trash bags rustling]
- [blow thudding] - [person thudding to ground]
Bitch!
Hey, come on.
- We gotta go! - [person groaning]
- This is my house right here. - Okay.
- We, we should go in now. - Yeah.
Wait, Ryan.
Vince, he's probably going to expect us here
and he's coming for me, not you, all right,
so you should wait here with Caitlyn, okay?
- Leo, I don't-- - No, it's, it will be fine.
Okay, just trust me on this.
Yeah, you're slowing us down
with that busted ass wheel you got.
Yeah, he's got a point.
Look, we'll just go up to the school,
that's like right up the block, all right,
we'll lay low there, I promise, we'll be fine.
It'll be fine, all right, just, just stay here.
[Leo laughing awkwardly]
[soft melodic music]
[soft melodic music continues]
Yeah.
See you around.
[mellow melodic music]
[mellow melodic music continues]
[hands patting]
What? We might die tonight, all right?
That's my boy, that's my fucking boy.
I love how the guy with a girlfriend
got me least amount of action tonight.
Jack, are you sure you don't need to go to hospital?
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
[Leo thudding to ground]
- [blow thudding] - Uh, uh, uh!
[soft tense music]
You know something, Grecco?
You did this.
[blow thudding]
This is all on you.
- [head thudding] - Uh!
Get the fuck on your knees!
- [Leo thudding to ground] - [soft tense music]
Take a look at your buddies.
I said look at them.
[soft tense music]
Fuck you, Vince!
- [kick thudding] - Uh!
Shut up, you fat bitch!
[soft tense music]
- [Leo thudding to ground] - Uh!
Yo, chill, man!
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
Shut the fuck up.
You know, Vince.
- [soft tense music] - [Leo spitting]
One day you're gonna be a gentleman
and you won't be so alone.
Uh!
- I am a gentleman, Grecco. - [Leo groaning]
I'm quite offended that you don't think so.
This is about you having a sick crush,
- a fucking perverted fetish. - [Leo groaning]
Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince,
I didn't even know you were dating Ryan, okay?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - [Vince laughing]
Ryan? That prude was just the icing on the cake.
This is so much bigger than her.
- [hand slapping] - [Leo groaning]
[tense melodic music]
- [hand slapping] - Uh!
[Leo thudding to ground]
Whoo!
We got a merger on our hands, boys
and this is just a taste.
With all my heart, I promise, starting from the day we merge
until the day we graduate, I,
- [kick thudding] - Uh!
Will put you through a whirlwind of hell,
- every fucking day. - [soft tense music]
You hear that, Grecco?
I'm gonna find you when you're all alone one night,
you remember that, you fucking rat.
[Evan laughing]
Evan, what did Grecco call himself again?
Stallion.
- [Vince laughing] - [soft tense music]
Please, please, please.
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
[Vince] Come on, stallion.
- [blow thudding] - Uh!
- Every fucking day! - [soft intense music]
[gun clicking]
I'd lower that fist of yours, boy.
My dad's PD.
You're screwed, old man.
Yeah?
So's every other guy in this neighborhood,
join the club, son.
Let me guess, his daddy's a fireman?
I'll give you three seconds to walk away
or you're gonna be on the ground next to stallion here,
you old son of a bitch.
[soft tense music]
One,
two.
- [gun thudding] - Uh!
- [Vince thudding to ground] - [footsteps thudding]
- [gun firing] - Uh!
[Evan thudding to ground]
I got eyes on the suspects.
Dead end alley, on the south side.
Osceola Avenue.
[Officer on radio] 10-4.
Wait, who is this?
[all groaning softly]
[soft tense music]
[soft tense music continues]
You got a 30 second head start, go.
Why?
'Cause you kids look pathetic.
I'd say we're even for last night's prank, huh?
Besides, these punks have been making it personal for years,
so you boys are in luck tonight,
'cause the enemy of my enemy
is my friend.
[soft melodic music]
- [sirens wailing in distance] - [soft melodic music]
[soft melodic music continues]
I'm getting expelled come Monday, boys,
so letting me drink alone just isn't an option.
- [Leo grunting] - [metal clattering]
[Leo groaning softly]
It'll be all right, Jackie.
OLC couldn't handle you anyways.
And besides, I need you to introduce me
to the new girls at your new school, man.
Since I'm a single man now.
Chin up, bud.
I'm sure you and Jess will be back together in a week,
when this all blows over,
and the dust settles from my funeral.
Keep in mind, this is just your first expulsion.
When all this is said and done,
like I'm sure there's bound to be a couple more of them.
Man, at least your fate's sealed.
I have no clue what I'm gonna do about Jess.
Well, to be completely real with you, bro,
I think she's a bitch, constantly negs you
and fat shames me at every chance.
I think you should never talk to her again.
[laughing] I think she's kind of turned you into a simp.
My first girlfriend, my first kiss.
I feel like, like I should wanna be with her, right?
I feel like I should wanna lose my virginity to her.
Okay, Sean,
the first one should always be 100% certain though, okay?
Sounds like you're not.
I doubt you're gonna look back and say,
"I wish I hadn't spent so much time
fucking around with my best friends
and dedicated more time to my high school girlfriend."
Hm, amen.
I don't know if it's the alcohol talking
or the blood loss, but you're making a lot of sense.
[birds chirping]
Guys, I know you think I'm nuts,
but I'm gonna tell Ms. Kerpial how I feel.
I say tell Ms. Kerpial everything
and best case scenario,
you and me enroll in a new school together,
when you get tossed for trying to bang a fucking teacher.
I mean, that wouldn't happen
till the third or fourth date, but you know.
Be one 100 with me,
why not Ryan?
It's this teacher, man, she's ruined me completely.
I put her on this pedestal
and it's just like,
I know it sounds stupid, I know,
'cause Ryan is clearly a great girl, clearly,
but I just haven't seen
any of these high school girls that way.
Now how is she Ms. Kerpial?
I just wish I could go back and do things differently.
I don't even wanna go home.
I just know everything's gonna be different
in the morning, you know?
[soft melodic music]
Yeah, man.
I'm sorry I brought the wrath of the Wrecking Crew
on us last night.
Thank you guys for being there.
What?
I didn't wanna face those guys by myself.
Don't even bring that up.
You know we always gonna have your back.
I love you, bro.
[Leo] Love you guys.
Let's go.
[soft melodic music]
[soft melodic music continues]
[Coach Krieger coughing]
Jesus Christ.
What the hell, Coach?
You been there the whole time?
I know I just spent the last few years saying
you're all a bunch of soft-serve pansies,
but I just sat here and listened to the whole damn thing
and not once did you discuss running away.
Don't get me wrong, you're completely fucked,
but you're ready to deal with your problems head on.
That takes balls and character. Proud of you men.
But what the hell do I know?
My wife and kid just changed the locks
and I fought off a raccoon for a half a cheeseburger.
Scram, all right.
You're depressing the shit outta me.
[soft melodic music]
See you guys Monday?
See you Monday, bro.
See you Monday, man.
[soft melodic music]
- [thunder rumbling] - [rain pattering]
[soft melodic music]
[soft melodic music continues]
[door clicking]
[car door clicking]
[car door thudding]
[Jess] So do you have anything to say for yourself?
Jesus, what the hell happened to you?
What do you think happened? I got jumped by like 50 guys.
And who told you that was gonna happen, huh?
Do you know how frustrating it is
to see the person that you care about
throw themselves in harm's way again and again?
But I didn't have a choice.
But you did, you did have a choice
and it's me or them.
I have been feeling a bit selfish,
but I feel like we both have.
We both know exactly what we want,
but we don't want the same thing.
I don't know if I can keep doing this.
And I feel like we shouldn't force each other
on certain things.
We're just in high school.
I'm sorry, how are we both being selfish?
What have I done to be selfish?
Ask you to make time for me?
Worry about you, warn you about a new school?
God, make sweaters for us, love you?
I love you, Jess.
[hand slapping]
I'm the one who texted you that we needed to talk!
I'm the one that was left alone in the car, embarrassed!
I'm the one out of your league
and after everything that I've been through for you,
you have the audacity to break up with me.
Take that pathetic breakup
and shove it up your own ass, you prude.
Sorry it had to end like this.
- [car door clicking] - Have fun with that merger,
I'm sure the endless amount of beatings you're gonna get
will only be a fraction of what you--
[car door thudding]
- [Jess screeching] - [car rumbling]
Got it, mutual breakup.
[thunder rumbling]
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[Dean Whitman clearing throat]
I gotta say, you always seem to surprise me, Nozak.
I mean, I knew this day would eventually come,
I'll be honest, but even I gave you enough credit
not to think it would be three whole damn days
since I last saw you.
Do you know how many phone calls I got about you
over the weekend alone?
I have got an entire group of boys ready to roll on you.
It's pretty sad you're so willing to listen to rumors.
Rumors?
I'm an innocent man, and I look forward to my chance
to meet with the school board.
[Dean Whitman laughing]
You're not meeting with the school board, son.
No, Nozak, man, I gotta give it to you, I really do.
I like it though, you're fighting to the very end.
It's admirable, but it's not gonna work this time.
You know how hard it is
to get someone expelled from this school?
But you keep outdoing yourself.
You really do.
See, OLC isn't gonna do anything to jeopardize this merger
and you, you are a problem child.
You managed to get into not only one, but two fights
with St. Matt's the week before the merger!
I mean, even for you, that is impressively stupid, oh!
But hey, what do I know?
We're talking about Mr. Nozak.
So, what else you got for me, Nozak, huh?
'Cause it's over for you.
- [officer knocking] - [door clicking]
[soft tense music]
Dean Whitman, are you in charge here?
I am, but I-I haven't called anyone,
there's no need for criminal charges yet.
A parent called us, sir,
I'm afraid we've got a pretty serious situation here.
I need you to drop everything, come with us.
- [thunder rumbling] - Damn, Nozak,
what the hell did you do now?
[soft tense music]
This is in regard to a teacher, sir,
I need you to take us to their classroom immediately.
There's been some accusations.
[soft tense music]
[Dean Whitman sighing]
Stay right here, son, don't move.
Let's go, gentlemen.
[soft tense music]
[desk rattling]
[door clicking]
[door thudding]
[Ms. Kerpial] Leonardo, it's Monday,
you know we don't have tutoring.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Oh, my God, Leo, what happened?
I'm fine, this is nothing.
That's definitely not nothing. Do your parents know?
Do we need to go to someone?
No, actually, there is no one else that I need to talk to
more than you right now.
Okay.
What's going on?
You know, you can tell me anything, you can trust me.
Okay.
That being said then, here goes nothing.
[thunder rumbling]
I just feel like an idiot, um,
this place can be so hard sometimes
and guys can really get in your head. [sighing]
What I'm trying to say is um,
I can feel like this thunderstorm inside of me
like whenever I see you.
Leonardo, what are you trying to say?
What I'm trying to say is that I'm head over heels,
moonstruck for you.
Don't.
I just had to tell you.
I'll transfer to Spanish and I, you know,
you can tell the school board if you have to,
but um, [sighing] I can't keep torturing myself.
So um, I guess this is goodbye, all right.
- Leonardo. - [thunder rumbling]
Yeah.
[thunder rumbling]
[Ms. Kerpial] You can't say things like that out loud.
[door clicking]
Emily Kerpial, you're under arrest
for engaging in sexual activity with a minor.
No, no, no, I, okay, I-I came in here, she's innocent,
- I just walked in. - Are you Vince Morelli?
No.
Well, this doesn't concern you, son.
Please put your hands behind your back, ma'am.
Vince, are you kidding me?
No, you gotta be kidding, you're handcuffing a teacher?
- No, are you serious? - Control your student.
You're gonna let this happen in your school?
- Just get outta here. - Let's go.
You just have to say that
- Wait, Ms. Kerpial. - [thunder rumbling]
You'll be mine
[mellow melodic music]
[mellow melodic music continues]
Still I would do it all again
I can hold you if you cry tonight
And I would do it all again
Wait, Ms. Kerpial!
Holy shit, what's going on?
It turns out Kerpial's been sleeping with Vince all year.
I guess he turned her in to reduce his sentence.
Now he's being shipped cross country to juvie?
- No, she wouldn't do that. - Why would she do that?
[phone ringing]
[mellow melodic music]
Signora!
[mellow melodic music]
[thunder rumbling]
[mellow melodic music continues]
[thunder rumbling]
[mellow melodic music continues]
[car door thudding]
[rain pattering]
[car door clicking]
[car door thudding]
[mellow melodic music]
Did I ever have a chance?
[Ms. Kerpial speaking Italian]
[window whirring]
[car rumbling]
[rain pattering]
What the hell's going on?
Kerpial's been hooking up with Vince.
He ratted her out.
So wait, wait, so you're saying
Leo actually had a chance with her?
Poor kid.
Let's go, guys, let's go, let's go, inside, inside.
Let's go, gentlemen, move, move.
[rain pattering]
Let's go, let's go, inside, inside, inside.
I don't know what I'm gonna tell the school board.
Huh? I don't know.
No, I understand, yeah, all right.
Hey, don't touch me, Nozak.
What's wrong with you, man?
Dean Whitman, so what's this mean for me?
What does it mean? What does it mean?
Open your eyes, are you blind? Look around you.
We'll be lucky if this merger even happens now,
but for you, it means Saturday morning JUGs
until you graduate, you understand?
'Cause if you don't, I'll find another reason to expel you.
Okay, Nozak?
- [hand patting] - Great day to be a Owl, son,
- [door clicking] - great day.
Hey, all right, get everybody in the back.
[rain pattering]
- [rain dripping] - [birds chirping]
I'm free.
Me too.
Me three.
You know, I'm actually really excited
to try things with Ryan,
I think we really have a connect--, oh, shoot!
[Ryan voicemail] You're the one who ran me over on the bike?
What the fuck, Leo?
You spent the whole weekend lying to me
- and then you kissed me in the-- - [phone clicks]
So...
Boys weekend?
[mellow upbeat music]
Owls fly for life, bitch
For life, bitch
Owls fly for life, bitch
For life, bitch
Owls fly for life, bitch
[mellow upbeat music]
[mellow upbeat music continues]
[Pizzo] Hey, you can never be too safe
in these trying times.
[Tony] Listen, boys, we're owls for life.
Any of these kids from St. Matt's come here
and start causing trouble,
they'll receive a spanking from yours truly.
- Whoo! - Whoo, come on!
[mellow upbeat music]
[Tony] Boys.
We're Owls for life.
Owls fly for life, bitch
For life, bitch
Owls fly for life, bitch
For life, bitch
Owls fly for life, bitch
Yeah, bitch, they fly
Owls fly for life, bitch
Yeah, bitch, they fly
Owls fly for life, bitch
For life, bitch
[mellow upbeat music]
[Tony] We're Owls for life.
[mellow melodic music]
Setting sun set a little slow for me
I'm not done ignoring all of my dreams
I've been sick since you've been talking
I've been sick since you were here with me
I don't want to do it again with you with me
I don't even like you ooh ooh ooh
I don't want to do it again with you with me
I don't even like you ooh ooh ooh
I wanna do it again with you, with me
I don't ever wanna feel you breathe
Ooh ooh ooh