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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‪《認賊作爸媽》

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‪新娘來了

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‪全身白...

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{\an8}‪樓梯

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{\an8}‪...禮服

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‪跟著我的聲音,在這裡,現在停下來

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‪好,張開眼睛

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{\an8}‪這是立體座位圖,當然有按比例

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‪公仔全都符合婚禮來賓的個性或外表

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‪-寶貝,你好強
‪-喜歡嗎?

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{\an8}‪我喜歡,超愛的

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‪太空超人是誰?

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{\an8}‪妳竟然問這種問題

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‪先看他的屁股,再看我的

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‪-一模一樣吧?
‪-對,我現在看出來了

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‪妳覺得呢?新娘說了算

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‪這是你爸媽吧?

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‪那桌還能塞兩個人嗎?

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{\an8}‪我爸媽剛剛發郵件說要來

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{\an8}‪-真的假的?什麼?
‪-真的

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{\an8}‪天啊!帕克

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{\an8}‪太好了,我總算能見妳爸媽了

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‪好吧

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‪我要跟這個人結婚

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{\an8}‪天啊,實在...妳一定超興奮的

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‪妳高興嗎?不高興,一點都不高興?

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‪-妳有高興嗎?
‪-有,沒有,我...

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‪當然很棒,我只是...

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{\an8}‪我說過,他們可能...

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{\an8}‪可能很難搞

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{\an8}‪好,妳見過我爸媽吧?

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{\an8}‪我選骷髏王和蛇髮女妖

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{\an8}‪是因為沒人做史達林和貞子的公仔

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‪如果我爸媽沒來婚禮,我可能會後悔

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‪沒錯,我們能熬過去的

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{\an8}‪只要太空超人和粉紅金剛戰士聯手

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{\an8}‪什麼都不怕

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{\an8}‪除非千面魔王來攪局

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{\an8}‪妳在炫耀太空超人的冷知識?

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‪答對了

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‪我愛妳

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‪我也愛你

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‪你阿姨琳達對鎳金屬過敏
‪你有用含鎳的餐具嗎?

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‪我不知道,媽

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‪便宜餐具都會鍍鎳好嗎?
‪你不會對餐具小氣吧?

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‪我一定會用高級不含鎳的餐具

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‪-好嗎?
‪-很好

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‪但我打來是要講好消息

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‪帕克的爸媽能來了

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‪喂?我知道你們還在
‪我聽到爸爸用鼻子發出怪聲

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‪抱歉,哪種父母會不參加女兒婚禮?

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‪他們沒有不參加,他們會來

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‪拜託

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‪他們去亞馬遜雨林跟亞諾馬米人同住

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‪要過來談何容易?

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‪難怪帕克會跳脫衣舞

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‪她沒跳脫衣舞,我講幾百遍了

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‪她開一間瑜珈教室,事業有成

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‪我不知道耶

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‪少來,我邀妳上過課

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‪-你要你媽跳鋼管舞?
‪-沒有鋼管

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‪怎麼有鋼管?那是瑜珈教室

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‪-生意一定很好哦
‪-沒錯,但不是你那個意思

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‪-我只是說說
‪-拜託

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‪可以別怪裡怪氣的嗎?這次就好

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‪-怪?
‪-怪?我們哪裡怪?你才怪

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‪你爸跟我最近才聊過這件事

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‪歐文,你變得怪怪的

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‪沒錯

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‪你認識這個脫衣舞女前不會這樣!

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{\an8}‪(陽山聯合銀行)

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‪(保留車位:銀行行長歐文白朗寧)

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‪(銀行行長 歐文白朗寧)

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{\an8}‪(銀行行長 歐文白朗寧)

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{\an8}‪碰

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{\an8}‪我先搞清楚,你沒見過她爸媽?

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‪很正常,我們交往時
‪她爸媽都過著原始生活

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‪幹,這也太怪了

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‪歐文,我不想讓你難過

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‪但你提到帕克時,我們以為你在幻想

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‪我聽了的確會難過

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‪但是你不該難過
‪因為我沒看過你交女友

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‪所以我想:“這女人是假的
‪八成是塑膠假人或充氣娃娃”

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‪結果呢?真的有她

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‪我看到她就想:“妳是活人耶”

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‪這個臭雞巴讓童話故事成真了

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‪我本來不相信你的鬼話

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‪你們真的傷透我的心

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‪我們的意思是,不管你下了什麼藥

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‪才把這女人騙到手,對她爸媽都沒用

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‪妳擔心她爸媽討厭我?

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‪誰比爸爸媽媽更愛我?就是爺爺奶奶

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‪隨便讓我跟一個奶奶吃飯

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‪保證對方愛死我

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‪是尿布,她又來了,喂!

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‪我幹嘛管這個?這是蓋瑞的工作

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‪他人呢?

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‪好,不能再把蓋瑞
‪“意外”鎖進金庫了,我說真的

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‪這是你新設計的保全系統

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‪-真他媽複雜
‪-很正常,因為這是金庫

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‪最新科技,誰都進不去我的寶貝

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‪這個跟金妃比的一樣嗎?

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‪-差不多
‪-金妃比是誰?

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‪金妃比管理全州
‪第一名的亞特拉斯儲備銀行

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‪不是第一名的銀行
‪這種東西沒有官方排名

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‪絕對有,有人還寫專文
‪他們是全州第一名的銀行

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‪那家銀行不錯、正派、乾淨

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‪金妃比在上次大會上嘲笑歐文

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‪她說用火雞肉就能闖入我們的金庫

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‪我記得不是這麼說的

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‪她還說你是沒老二的侏儒,夠狠

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‪我很想忍笑,但是失敗,真他媽好笑

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‪因為我想像你沒老二

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‪只有光滑的表面,完全沒雞雞

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‪沒老二的侏儒,真不專業

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‪真他媽好笑

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‪我很想看火雞怎麼闖入這個金庫

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‪她在樓梯旁留玫瑰花給我

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‪蓋瑞

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‪還好我口袋裡有薄荷糖,不然會餓死

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‪我講過大概50遍

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‪金庫門裡有緊急逃生開關

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‪每個金庫都有

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‪我也一直跟你說

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‪我找不到!

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‪乖乖,蓋瑞

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‪帕克

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‪聽說妳爸媽總算做了好事

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‪要來參加妳的婚禮

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‪很棒吧?

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‪-對啊,謝了,媽
‪-很棒,超棒的

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‪她很久沒見她爸媽了

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‪我知道

136
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‪-那他們怎麼沒來?
‪-他們住在森林山洞裡

137
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‪-跟賓拉登一樣?
‪-跟賓拉登一樣,沒錯

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‪-不是...你這樣講就不對了
‪-沒關係

139
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‪-我懂了
‪-我能再看一下刺青嗎?

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‪改天吧,妳姑姑瑪芝不喜歡,所以...

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‪她說刺青讓脫衣舞小費變多了

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‪-我再說一次,我沒跳脫衣舞
‪-我男朋友要去刺青

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‪-真的?刺什麼?
‪-在下背部刺我的名字

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‪-表哥!
‪-天啊,老弟

145
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‪喂,別...

146
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‪你怎麼沒邀我參加單身派對?

147
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‪-你知道我是急救員吧?
‪-我不...我知道啦

148
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‪我可以用救護車載你

149
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‪-開警鈴,在鎮上繞幾圈
‪-真好玩

150
00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:28,250
‪也許可以讓你心跳停止,體驗陰陽界

151
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,000
‪可以問一下阿公死的感...

152
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:35,125
‪-好,你幹嘛這樣?
‪-別鬧了,好了

153
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,500
‪-他幹嘛這樣?
‪-那只是謠言,別鬧了

154
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,291
‪結果被她撞見,她看到時好難過

155
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:42,375
‪他真傳奇,打手槍到死

156
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:46,458
‪還好我有電話,我可沒事先安排

157
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:47,583
‪只是碰巧來電

158
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‪喂,你們是個人倉庫吧?

159
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,875
‪謝謝你回電

160
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‪-又是我,歐文白朗寧
‪-你他媽要幹嘛?

161
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‪我下禮拜結婚

162
00:08:57,541 --> 00:09:01,083
‪想在婚禮上播放珍貴照片

163
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:05,458
‪問題是我沒有未婚妻家人的照片

164
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:09,208
‪據說他們有跟你租個人倉庫

165
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:14,458
‪登記的姓應該是麥多摩
‪你有他們的置物櫃嗎?

166
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‪-天啊!
‪-我燒起來了

167
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‪急救員!

168
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‪靠

169
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,000
‪-好了,不要!
‪-那是醬油!

170
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,291
‪媽,那個不是水!

171
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‪妳說有人問起麥多摩的置物櫃就找妳

172
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:34,875
‪麥多摩的置物櫃?

173
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:38,041
‪對,誰問的?

174
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:39,541
‪歐文白朗寧

175
00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:49,000
‪這些鑽石很爛

176
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:04,708
‪幹嘛?

177
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:07,833
‪我太傻了,以為那個按鈕

178
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,583
‪會打開鯊魚池的機關門

179
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:16,000
‪機關門?我是叫人上來清理屍體

180
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‪-什麼屍體?
‪-你啊

181
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:23,416
‪鯊魚池

182
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,125
‪打給水族館!

183
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:31,250
‪你爸都會在後車廂多放一件襯衫嗎?

184
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:35,541
‪他不是第一次在餐廳著火了

185
00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,291
‪那你表妹為什麼問我

186
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‪我騎腳踏車時,脖子會不會拍動?

187
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,958
‪謝謝妳沒生氣

188
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,375
‪他們真的很不正常

189
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,500
‪天啊,現在你真的得見我家人了

190
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,416
‪-妳擔心他們討厭我?
‪-不會啊,你呢?

191
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‪不會

192
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,208
‪討厭你就好像討厭水果奶奶

193
00:10:57,208 --> 00:11:01,375
‪恐怖的虎...姑...婆

194
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:04,875
‪-他們什麼時候要來?
‪-婚禮前一天晚上

195
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:08,041
‪那我的時間就夠了

196
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,750
‪是嗎?夠什麼?

197
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,875
‪我已經有特別計畫了

198
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:16,416
‪喔?是嗎?

199
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:17,333
‪我喜歡

200
00:11:21,291 --> 00:11:23,291
‪妳嚇到我了

201
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,083
‪好,來妳最喜歡的那招吧

202
00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:27,291
‪-是嗎?
‪-是啊

203
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,958
{\an8}‪(手作樂無窮)

204
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,041
‪哇,有人去手工藝材料行血拼

205
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,458
‪只是幫帕克的爸媽做點“禮禮”

206
00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:45,958
‪你可以不要講“禮禮”嗎?

207
00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:49,083
‪你就承認愛做手工藝吧,你是手作叔

208
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:52,375
‪我覺得有嗜好的男人很性感

209
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:54,708
‪-瑪莉娑,謝謝
‪-只要不是這種娘泡嗜好

210
00:11:56,625 --> 00:11:59,125
‪媽的閉嘴,蓋瑞,吵死了

211
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,166
‪謝謝你去買,我很怕買東西

212
00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,208
‪沒問題

213
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:10,041
‪我買了妳愛的豆腐
‪我知道妳喜歡超硬的豆腐

214
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,958
‪我喜歡的豆腐跟我喜歡的男人一樣

215
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:14,333
‪要很硬

216
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,625
‪好吧

217
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:20,583
‪講這些讓我覺得今晚可能要“炒飯”

218
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:21,500
‪對啊

219
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:25,500
‪我要把你扭成麻花,把你榨成人乾

220
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:31,833
‪好,我要勇於嘗試,那我開始拉筋囉

221
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,666
‪好,寶貝,愛你喔

222
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,333
‪我也愛妳

223
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:37,416
‪好

224
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:44,083
‪美麗的帕克

225
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:46,875
‪時間到了

226
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:51,875
‪我們要“炒飯”到黎明

227
00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,500
‪我發誓

228
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,833
‪我關心

229
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,541
‪泡菜洋芋片

230
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:03,291
‪麗滋盒裝餅乾

231
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,750
‪因為我們今晚要炒...

232
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:09,708
‪嗨,歐文

233
00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:11,250
‪想都別想

234
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,916
‪-靠,厲害
‪-靠

235
00:13:13,916 --> 00:13:16,750
‪-孩子,我真的很抱歉
‪-歐文,你還好吧?

236
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:20,000
‪她去上防身術的課,看來很值得

237
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,125
‪拜託別殺我

238
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:24,291
‪-把這個兔崽子拉起來
‪-好,拉起來

239
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:28,250
‪好了,我們不會殺你
‪我們是帕克的爸媽

240
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,041
‪-喔!好
‪-對啊

241
00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,583
‪好

242
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,125
‪麥多摩伯父,麥多摩伯母,我要表...

243
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,666
‪拜託,過來

244
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,958
‪我們就別客套了好嗎?
‪叫“麥多摩伯父”多見外

245
00:13:46,958 --> 00:13:47,875
‪叫我比利

246
00:13:49,291 --> 00:13:50,375
‪好,比利

247
00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:56,708
‪你一定是帕克的爸
‪因為你們親親的招式完全一樣

248
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,541
‪-我是莉莉
‪-莉莉

249
00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:01,208
‪謝了,這樣就好

250
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,333
‪-好
‪-媽?

251
00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:04,416
‪-你看誰來了
‪-寶貝!

252
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:06,208
‪-爸?什麼?
‪-天啊

253
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:09,083
‪你們來了,你們怎麼會來?

254
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:12,541
‪飛機早到,其實你剛才在唱

255
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:15,833
‪怎麼跟我女兒炒飯的歌

256
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,375
‪-你...真的嗎?
‪-有

257
00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:20,500
‪那只是我私下唱的小曲兒

258
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:23,208
‪不知道我未來的岳父岳母會聽到

259
00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:26,500
‪-你們怎麼進來的?
‪-門沒鎖

260
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,333
‪那就怪了,我從來沒忘記鎖門

261
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,208
‪你說我老婆騙人?

262
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,958
‪你說我老婆騙人?是嗎?

263
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,166
‪我才剛到,你就說她騙人?

264
00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:41,041
‪你要我打你一拳...

265
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,583
‪你在開玩笑,只是說笑的

266
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:51,125
‪只是說笑的,好

267
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:55,000
‪你們喜歡這個“禮禮”嗎?

268
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,875
‪我不是穿上了嗎?

269
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,458
‪要說我們的愛情史嗎?
‪我們認識的過程超甜蜜

270
00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:04,041
‪你們一定會喜歡

271
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:08,333
‪你們要了解一件事
‪我家族的人都有髖關節問題

272
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:11,583
‪當然,預防勝於治療,我去找醫生

273
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,208
‪她說:“練過瑜珈嗎?”

274
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:16,916
‪我拿了折價券,參加第一堂瑜珈課...

275
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,166
‪是我的課,我是老師

276
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,416
‪-很巧吧?對吧?
‪-好誇張

277
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:24,958
‪太奇妙了

278
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:29,041
‪我課上到一半,發現歐文在做嬰兒式

279
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:30,833
‪對,好,注意看

280
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,791
‪好,我在做嬰兒式

281
00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:35,250
‪結果在做嬰兒式時昏倒

282
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,208
‪可是沒人發現,你們看

283
00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:40,500
‪看清楚,我昏了,誰都看不出來

284
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,750
‪-對吧?
‪-對啊

285
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,000
‪然後大家都走了,下課了

286
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,291
‪結果歐文還在做嬰兒式

287
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,541
‪我就想

288
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:52,083
‪“幹,這傢伙死了、蹺辮子、葛屁了”

289
00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:54,541
‪-但我沒死
‪-沒有

290
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:57,333
‪然後帕克把我扳直,結果我醒來

291
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,541
‪一抬頭就看到她美麗的開朗笑容

292
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:04,000
‪我心想:“我要跟這個女人共度餘生”

293
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,750
‪結果你對了

294
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:06,791
‪沒錯

295
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,875
‪-然後你約她出去
‪-其實沒有

296
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:14,250
‪我上她一年半的課,最後她主動約我

297
00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:23,833
‪哈密瓜...

298
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,458
‪我找不到人幫我代課,所以只好取消

299
00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:30,500
‪免得我爸媽出事

300
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,166
‪我不希望妳工作出問題

301
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:36,208
‪我累積178天病假,所以直接請假了

302
00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:40,375
‪-重點不是...寶貝...
‪-我懂,別擔心

303
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,500
‪別擔心,我懂

304
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,708
‪-早安,準女婿
‪-嗨

305
00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:47,250
‪-早安
‪-看到妳真好,早安

306
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,666
‪我今天得工作

307
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:52,708
‪不過歐文在銀行上班以來頭一次請假

308
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:53,958
‪要帶你們逛逛

309
00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:56,000
‪-對吧,寶貝?
‪-真刺激...

310
00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:04,791
‪我不喜歡有人碰我屁股
‪結果她覺得這樣很爆笑

311
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,958
‪-沒錯
‪-嚇到我了,我那邊很敏感

312
00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:10,291
‪-好,今晚見
‪-好,再見

313
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:12,875
‪你們乖一點喔,對他好一點

314
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,750
‪-女兒再見
‪-他很在乎我

315
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,541
‪-乖一點
‪-我們會的,愛妳喔

316
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,000
‪-拜拜,愛妳喔
‪-拜拜

317
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:23,583
‪-好,想喝酒嗎?好
‪-挺好喝的

318
00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:25,541
‪希望你們餓了

319
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:26,791
‪因為我有...

320
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:32,250
‪菠菜焗蛋,還有烤...

321
00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:34,708
‪童子拜觀音

322
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,125
‪好,早餐聊夠了

323
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,666
‪希望你們想開心一下,因為我買了

324
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:46,375
‪南美陶器展的門票

325
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,666
‪為什麼?

326
00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:53,708
‪因為你們跟亞馬遜雨林的
‪亞諾馬米部落一起生活...

327
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:54,666
‪對喔

328
00:17:54,666 --> 00:17:57,333
‪...一定知道他們的陶器很精緻

329
00:17:57,333 --> 00:18:01,250
‪我們住在那個部落多年,對陶器無感

330
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:04,916
‪好,那我們去下一場冒險

331
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:06,791
‪納粹大屠殺博物館

332
00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:12,875
‪說真的,我去過...他們的美食街很棒

333
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,000
‪好,你們對陶器沒興趣
‪對納粹大屠殺教育也沒興趣

334
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:23,000
‪好吧,那你們要做什麼?

335
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:29,708
‪拉降落傘!

336
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:34,125
‪除非你說服我
‪為什麼要答應你娶我女兒!

337
00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:36,000
‪天啊!

338
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,708
‪她是我最好的朋友,而且我愛她!

339
00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:40,583
‪天啊!

340
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,833
‪-我幫人照顧狗,還會給兩成小費!
‪-還不夠!

341
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,208
‪我再也不跟她炒飯了

342
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:48,375
‪繼續說!

343
00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,833
‪我要拉降落傘!

344
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:52,333
‪那是我的屌,你白痴啊!

345
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:06,500
‪我想選史瑞克這個角色

346
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:10,666
‪因為我最喜歡牠
‪但是我對這個月亮特別有感

347
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:13,125
‪好,這個看起來很...

348
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,333
‪搞...

349
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,541
‪走吧,喔

350
00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:33,166
‪你們相信我去刺青嗎?

351
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:37,416
‪我現在是誰啦我?這是月亮的刺青

352
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:40,625
‪我像荒野一匹狼

353
00:19:41,416 --> 00:19:43,250
‪比利,再幫我們拿酒吧

354
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,875
‪我今天還不夠醉

355
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,500
‪這樣也好,莉莉

356
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,791
‪我跟你去,走吧

357
00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:53,791
‪歐文,小心鞋子

358
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,541
‪我錯了,老爹

359
00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:59,458
‪好,這次你也有一點錯

360
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:02,500
‪因為你轉身不夠快,沒關係

361
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,541
‪-坐下
‪-好

362
00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:05,541
‪-不准動
‪-好

363
00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:14,875
‪-我馬上回來
‪-不行

364
00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:17,833
‪我去,妳陪他好嗎?

365
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:22,750
‪天啊,他超酷的耶

366
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,833
‪妳能跟他炒飯真是有福氣

367
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,916
‪-真的?
‪-而且他身上好香

368
00:20:27,916 --> 00:20:28,958
‪帶著...

369
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,083
‪檀香和危險的味道

370
00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:35,083
‪-其實是一種古龍水
‪-是嗎?

371
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,833
‪大個子,你好

372
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:50,458
‪好久不見,比利,你看起來真帥

373
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,250
‪妳說了算

374
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,000
‪銀行行長到底都在做什麼?

375
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,666
‪銀行行長什麼都做,我管理所有員工

376
00:21:01,416 --> 00:21:03,833
‪而且我們有12個員工

377
00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:05,000
‪真的喔?

378
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,541
‪還要處理整間銀行的保全工作

379
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:10,875
‪-妳怎麼找到我們的?
‪-那邊的小孬孬

380
00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:14,041
‪他打電話到個人倉庫

381
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:16,416
‪-是喔?
‪-是新同事嗎?

382
00:21:16,416 --> 00:21:18,875
‪不對,只是家人的朋友

383
00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:23,458
‪他是白痴,什麼都不知道

384
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:26,666
‪看起來就他媽白痴

385
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,125
‪-對啊
‪-比利!

386
00:21:29,125 --> 00:21:30,458
‪他超猛的!

387
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:44,000
‪有夠噁

388
00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:52,708
‪天啊,你在這裡
‪你全身都是我繼父車子的味道

389
00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:54,750
‪你跟岳父岳母處得如何?

390
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:58,541
‪普通慘,還是宇宙無敵慘?

391
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,708
‪我太開心了

392
00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:03,250
‪我從來沒碰過這種人

393
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,208
‪我們去跳傘

394
00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:06,708
‪還喝到茫

395
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,208
‪我有跳一點舞

396
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,208
‪總算有高中時跟A咖在一起的感覺

397
00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:15,958
‪就像我會玩滑板,或者我會破壞公物

398
00:22:15,958 --> 00:22:19,000
‪我不會破壞公物,但是心很癢

399
00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:22,416
‪很好玩,差點就玩過頭

400
00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:26,750
‪我們只好祈求銀行之神
‪希望平安度過這一天

401
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:29,416
‪所有人馬上趴到地上!

402
00:22:32,458 --> 00:22:34,666
‪趴下去,快點動作!

403
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:39,625
‪快去

404
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,791
‪妳給我快點

405
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,291
‪趴下

406
00:22:58,833 --> 00:22:59,875
‪兩分鐘

407
00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:04,583
‪這樣吧,我會完全配合你們

408
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:06,750
‪所以我得坦白說

409
00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:10,750
‪這是最先進的保全系統,無法破解

410
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,750
‪你們絕對無法在兩分鐘內突...

411
00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,416
‪你也太會猜密碼了

412
00:23:16,416 --> 00:23:17,416
‪實在是...

413
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,500
‪你知道要用指紋?

414
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:25,041
‪可是就到此為止了,因為...

415
00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:26,708
‪閉嘴,唸出來

416
00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:29,458
‪你怎麼...

417
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:31,250
‪唸出來

418
00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:36,041
‪她在樓梯旁留玫瑰花給我

419
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:42,166
‪你他媽別耍我

420
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:47,458
‪她在樓梯旁留玫瑰花給我

421
00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,500
‪“這種驚喜讓我知道她愛我”

422
00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:52,291
‪30秒

423
00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:57,708
‪-謝謝你放我出來
‪-不客氣

424
00:23:59,041 --> 00:23:59,875
‪進去

425
00:24:02,083 --> 00:24:03,666
‪-好
‪-裝滿

426
00:24:07,291 --> 00:24:10,333
‪要小額鈔票嗎?方便給小費

427
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:12,041
‪媽的閉嘴

428
00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:19,833
‪檀香和危險的味道

429
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,083
‪動作快點

430
00:24:27,208 --> 00:24:29,250
‪別再對我傻笑了

431
00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:31,041
‪夠了

432
00:24:31,708 --> 00:24:33,000
‪時間到

433
00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:37,500
‪現在懸崖勒馬還來得及

434
00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:46,875
‪對不起

435
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:59,666
‪謝謝各位合作,尤其是你,歐文

436
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,416
‪你

437
00:25:07,791 --> 00:25:11,333
‪他們有最強的防彈衣,還戴面罩

438
00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:14,041
‪我都沒看過,而且我見過很多好貨

439
00:25:14,041 --> 00:25:17,250
‪我受過訓,所以看到歹徒進來就知道

440
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:20,208
‪我本來想阻止搶案,可是滑倒

441
00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:23,375
‪這一點可以不要寫嗎?

442
00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:26,958
‪我沒看到也不知道,我不跟警察講話

443
00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:29,625
‪我講過幾百遍,我找不到開關

444
00:25:29,625 --> 00:25:31,000
‪你負責保全系統?

445
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,500
‪我就是老闆

446
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,625
‪天底下最好的工作

447
00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:36,083
‪你真可愛

448
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:39,750
‪前半段是數字密碼,我小時候的電話

449
00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:42,916
‪-很棒,當然的
‪-4028966860,很簡單

450
00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:46,458
‪...玫瑰花給我

451
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:49,416
‪主唱有點鼻音
‪模仿英國人,但他們不是

452
00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:50,625
‪他們是聖地牙哥人

453
00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,916
‪歐文?天啊,怎...

454
00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:54,875
‪你還好吧?

455
00:25:57,291 --> 00:25:59,666
‪-我們一聽到就趕過來了
‪-“我們”?

456
00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:23,583
‪我是聯邦調查局特別探員羅傑老漢

457
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:27,125
‪你對銀行搶匪知道多少?

458
00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:31,291
‪可以形容他們的長相嗎?什麼都可以

459
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:36,125
‪沒辦法,他們都戴面罩

460
00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:39,583
‪你聽過“幽靈大盜”這個名號嗎?

461
00:26:40,375 --> 00:26:41,458
‪有啊,我是銀行行長

462
00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:43,958
‪他們是美國史上最有名的銀行搶匪

463
00:26:43,958 --> 00:26:45,500
‪搶過100多家銀行

464
00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:47,208
‪在各州逃竄

465
00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:49,750
‪有時會一次消失個好幾年

466
00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:50,750
‪你覺得...

467
00:26:51,958 --> 00:26:56,541
‪你覺得搶這家銀行的...是幽靈大盜?

468
00:26:57,666 --> 00:27:02,125
‪我的直覺認為就是他們

469
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:06,791
‪只有一件讓我非常困擾的事

470
00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:14,041
‪他們怎麼進入你的金庫?

471
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
‪歐文,沒關係

472
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,208
‪-已經結束了
‪-深呼吸

473
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,916
‪好了,用鼻子呼吸

474
00:27:24,916 --> 00:27:26,250
‪-借你
‪-擤出來

475
00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:29,458
‪-快擤
‪-用力擤出來,好乖

476
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:30,916
‪天啊

477
00:27:40,166 --> 00:27:43,083
‪這樣吧,我們要走了,你也問夠了

478
00:27:43,083 --> 00:27:45,041
‪-你夠可憐了
‪-他很情緒化

479
00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:47,416
‪非常好,歐文

480
00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:56,833
‪如果你想起什麼
‪隨時都能打最上面的號碼

481
00:27:56,833 --> 00:27:58,000
‪下面的號碼...

482
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,291
‪(特別探員 羅傑老漢)

483
00:27:59,291 --> 00:28:00,750
‪千萬別打

484
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:27,750
‪如果有人去前座會不會比較舒服?

485
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:29,125
‪不會

486
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,083
‪我們來挺你的

487
00:28:32,083 --> 00:28:33,083
‪對啊

488
00:28:36,666 --> 00:28:37,500
‪來吧

489
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:42,375
‪就這輛

490
00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:43,666
‪這是誰的車?

491
00:28:43,666 --> 00:28:46,625
‪你的,歐文,這是你的車

492
00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:50,000
‪很棒吧?我爸媽沒問過我們就送車

493
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,625
‪只是小小的結婚禮物

494
00:28:51,625 --> 00:28:55,416
‪我們覺得你開那輛爛車太委屈了

495
00:28:55,416 --> 00:28:59,916
‪你們整天都在做這種事?買改裝車?

496
00:28:59,916 --> 00:29:03,083
‪這輛車一看就是屬於你的車

497
00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:05,666
‪-你不覺得嗎?
‪-對啊,一看就很適合你

498
00:29:07,208 --> 00:29:09,958
‪我喜歡,太棒了!

499
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:13,125
‪我喜歡,謝謝,好想趕快開

500
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,458
‪要現在兜風嗎?

501
00:29:15,166 --> 00:29:16,041
‪不要

502
00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:23,541
‪我有八成五把握是他們,得告訴帕克

503
00:29:23,541 --> 00:29:27,166
‪如果你誣告未婚妻的父母搶銀行

504
00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:28,625
‪這段感情就完了

505
00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:31,375
‪難道要我假裝沒這回事?

506
00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:36,000
‪沒錯,我告訴你
‪我這輩子八成時間都假裝沒事

507
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,208
‪三個禮拜前,我手賤把麥片灑到床上

508
00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:41,083
‪我還是什麼都沒說

509
00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:44,625
‪而且你不是把金庫密碼告訴他們?

510
00:29:44,625 --> 00:29:47,458
‪對,但我那時喝醉了,想跟他們炫耀

511
00:29:47,458 --> 00:29:51,250
‪對,所以如果他們有搶銀行

512
00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:53,375
‪你就是共犯

513
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,166
‪我才不是

514
00:29:57,750 --> 00:30:00,791
‪-你他媽的把密碼告訴他們!
<i>‪-</i>‪你說我是從犯?

515
00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:03,625
‪你不是從犯,你是他媽的主謀

516
00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,791
‪你是黑道老大,我能說實話嗎?

517
00:30:06,791 --> 00:30:08,166
‪我也有偷銀行的東西

518
00:30:08,666 --> 00:30:11,166
‪沒錯,我七年沒買過衛生紙

519
00:30:12,291 --> 00:30:13,458
‪-是你?
‪-對

520
00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:18,291
‪無論男廁還是女廁,這才叫執行力

521
00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:20,500
‪我不管衛生紙

522
00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:23,041
‪-好,再見,謝謝
‪-是誰啊?

523
00:30:25,583 --> 00:30:27,625
‪蛋糕店,他們剛剛打電話

524
00:30:27,625 --> 00:30:32,458
‪說他們出了大事,沒辦法做蛋糕

525
00:30:32,458 --> 00:30:34,208
‪什麼?你是說真的?

526
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:35,666
‪-對啊
‪-怎麼了?

527
00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:38,416
‪-蛋糕師傅死了
‪-天啊

528
00:30:38,416 --> 00:30:40,833
‪-怎麼會?
‪-被馬踢到胸口

529
00:30:40,833 --> 00:30:42,125
‪-天啊
‪-對啊

530
00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:44,125
‪心臟被馬踢爆了

531
00:30:44,125 --> 00:30:45,583
‪-天啊
‪-我知道

532
00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:48,500
‪別難過

533
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,666
‪沒關係,因為那個師傅有種族歧視

534
00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:55,625
‪-有種族歧視的壞人
‪-這種人還有好的嗎?

535
00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:58,541
‪我奶奶,所以...有什麼事?

536
00:30:59,041 --> 00:31:02,333
‪我只是要跟你說我爸媽做了咖哩餃

537
00:31:03,791 --> 00:31:06,500
‪真有意思,咖哩餃,我喜歡

538
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,583
‪-好,我下去找你們
‪-不用急

539
00:31:09,583 --> 00:31:11,208
‪-好嗎?
‪-沒關係啦

540
00:31:11,208 --> 00:31:14,000
‪-沒關係,我們再訂新蛋糕就好
‪-好

541
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,958
‪這次不找有種族歧視的

542
00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:18,750
‪我愛妳

543
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,125
‪喂,我要取消蛋糕訂單

544
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,625
‪對,我未婚妻被馬踢到頭

545
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:42,041
‪歐文,你怎麼緊張成這樣?

546
00:31:44,166 --> 00:31:46,166
‪我知道這句話可能很扯

547
00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:48,458
‪但我覺得帕克的爸媽

548
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,208
‪可能是歹徒

549
00:31:51,208 --> 00:31:53,541
‪-對啊
‪-他們當然是歹徒

550
00:31:53,541 --> 00:31:55,916
‪-不然怎麼不來女兒的婚禮?
‪-對啊

551
00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,541
‪他們要來參加婚禮,好嗎?

552
00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:01,125
‪他們真的要來了,我們...

553
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,083
‪好

554
00:32:05,083 --> 00:32:07,791
‪我覺得就是他們搶我的銀行

555
00:32:07,791 --> 00:32:10,125
‪-不會吧?你怎麼知道?
‪-我不知道

556
00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:13,458
‪但是除非確定
‪否則我不能搞亂帕克的生活

557
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:14,666
‪所以我要請你們幫忙

558
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:16,958
‪他們來了,你們正常發揮吧

559
00:32:16,958 --> 00:32:17,916
‪發揮什麼?

560
00:32:17,916 --> 00:32:21,208
‪你們不是老愛問很隱私的問題嗎?

561
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,208
‪好了,大家好!

562
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:25,416
‪嗨

563
00:32:25,416 --> 00:32:27,875
‪寶貝,你真的可以?

564
00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:29,708
‪-安啦,妳呢?
‪-我吃了大麻糖

565
00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:33,791
‪聰明,比利和莉莉
‪他們是我爸媽尼爾和瑪芝

566
00:32:33,791 --> 00:32:35,916
‪-幸會,尼爾
‪-幸會

567
00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,916
‪-你長得真好看
‪-謝謝

568
00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:42,000
‪我不是在誇你,我覺得你帥過頭了

569
00:32:53,083 --> 00:32:54,750
‪妳好

570
00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:55,875
‪-妳好
‪-嗨

571
00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:02,958
‪說到好看,妳的肌膚真是零缺點

572
00:33:02,958 --> 00:33:04,625
‪妳都用什麼?

573
00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:05,541
‪香皂

574
00:33:06,791 --> 00:33:09,500
‪-也許我們該來杯雞尾酒
‪-好,雞尾酒

575
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:11,083
‪現在白天耶

576
00:33:13,041 --> 00:33:15,291
‪好,我們有訂位,請就座

577
00:33:15,291 --> 00:33:16,708
‪保證盡興

578
00:33:18,666 --> 00:33:21,833
‪然後我說:“我們不需要小船”

579
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:26,291
‪莉莉把那個矮冬瓜推下船
‪我們開始在大運河划起船來

580
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:32,666
‪比利,莉莉,容我問個問題

581
00:33:32,666 --> 00:33:33,750
‪請說

582
00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:35,750
‪你們犯過重罪嗎?

583
00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:39,375
‪-不行...我們都要成親家了...
‪-不行

584
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,583
‪...必須知道他們是不是壞人...

585
00:33:42,083 --> 00:33:44,458
‪-不要啦
‪-給我,你們是壞人嗎?

586
00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:46,250
‪我爸媽不是壞人

587
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:47,875
‪沒關係,寶貝

588
00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:51,958
‪我們的生活形態
‪對他們而言有點驚世駭俗

589
00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:56,250
‪對,他們跟糯米人住在叢林裡

590
00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,333
‪講錯了

591
00:33:57,333 --> 00:33:58,833
‪-不然咧?
‪-亞諾馬米部落

592
00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:00,166
‪我講成什麼?

593
00:34:00,166 --> 00:34:03,291
‪你講成糯米,包粽子用的

594
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:06,625
‪他們是很“瓦希里多地哈佩荷提”的人

595
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,041
‪你說什麼?

596
00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:10,958
‪亞諾馬米的常用語,你們一定聽過

597
00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:14,708
‪-寶貝,你在做什麼?
‪-沒事,只是在找話題

598
00:34:16,541 --> 00:34:19,625
‪我如果不了解你,會以為你在考我們

599
00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:22,875
‪不是,你們跟亞諾馬米部落住了兩年

600
00:34:22,875 --> 00:34:27,000
‪一定懂“瓦希里多地哈佩荷提”的意思

601
00:34:31,083 --> 00:34:32,333
‪意思是勇氣...

602
00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:35,541
‪美麗與真理

603
00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:40,916
‪我們沒聽懂是因為你的口音太爛

604
00:34:40,916 --> 00:34:44,958
‪根本在侮辱亞諾馬米人和他們的神!

605
00:34:48,291 --> 00:34:51,041
‪歐文,你到底怎麼搞的?

606
00:34:51,041 --> 00:34:55,000
‪反正亞馬遜是很神奇的地方

607
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,875
‪你們兩個一定會喜歡

608
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:58,833
‪我們不旅行的

609
00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:01,541
‪尼爾一旅行就會拉肚子

610
00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:04,666
‪-不只是旅行的時候
‪-對啊

611
00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:08,416
‪瑪芝,我保證在妳矜持的外表下

612
00:35:08,416 --> 00:35:12,541
‪一定有股自由奔放的精神蓄勢待發

613
00:35:12,541 --> 00:35:17,125
‪這位小姐年輕時一定非常狂野

614
00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:23,708
‪有一次,我那時還沒懷歐文,我...

615
00:35:23,708 --> 00:35:26,333
‪我參加過雜交大會

616
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:28,708
‪-什麼?
‪-對啊

617
00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:31,000
‪-媽,雜交大會?
‪-對

618
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,041
‪雜交大會?

619
00:35:32,041 --> 00:35:33,333
‪-對
‪-對

620
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,958
‪我可能講錯用語

621
00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:38,541
‪不過就是那種跟每個人相幹的場合

622
00:35:38,541 --> 00:35:42,208
‪-那的確是雜交大會
‪-我參加過很多次雜交大會

623
00:35:43,291 --> 00:35:44,916
‪她在那裡認識丹馬利諾

624
00:35:44,916 --> 00:35:46,916
‪-那個美式足球明星?
‪-對啊

625
00:35:46,916 --> 00:35:49,458
‪在那裡或者是大賣場

626
00:35:49,458 --> 00:35:53,041
‪丹馬利諾不會去大賣場
‪他是名人堂的球星耶

627
00:35:53,041 --> 00:35:55,291
‪妳是去雜交時認識他的

628
00:35:55,291 --> 00:35:58,458
‪-天啊,所以爸爸真的是我爸嗎?
‪-我當然是你爸

629
00:35:58,458 --> 00:36:01,583
‪別亂講,你有下背長毛的家族遺傳

630
00:36:02,333 --> 00:36:07,500
‪我看過你打球
‪你絕對不是丹馬利諾的種

631
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,083
‪-什麼?
‪-丹馬利諾!

632
00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:12,125
‪-我們敬馬利諾的兒子
‪-丹馬利諾!

633
00:36:12,125 --> 00:36:13,375
‪馬利諾的兒子!

634
00:36:13,375 --> 00:36:14,625
‪敬馬利諾的兒子

635
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,875
‪達陣!

636
00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:28,958
‪喂

637
00:36:28,958 --> 00:36:32,000
‪妳看,這是我,這是我爸

638
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,166
‪不管鼻子還是無神的小眼睛

639
00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,250
‪都一樣吧?

640
00:36:37,083 --> 00:36:40,500
‪-還有下背的體毛
‪-寶貝,我看過你背上的毛

641
00:36:41,708 --> 00:36:44,333
‪也對,但妳沒看過我爸的

642
00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:47,833
‪-要跟他視訊嗎?
‪-不用,我們能討論一下嗎?

643
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:53,875
‪好啊,沒事吧?

644
00:36:54,875 --> 00:36:56,125
‪晚餐是怎麼回事?

645
00:36:56,125 --> 00:37:00,041
‪我不知道,只是丹馬利諾幹過我媽

646
00:37:00,041 --> 00:37:03,291
‪對,我知道,還有你的銀行被搶

647
00:37:03,291 --> 00:37:04,541
‪而且他個子很大

648
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:06,791
‪對,沒錯

649
00:37:08,708 --> 00:37:12,458
‪我知道你最近很不順,飽受創傷

650
00:37:12,958 --> 00:37:14,250
‪...因為那兩件事

651
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,625
‪不過是不是有其他問題?

652
00:37:17,875 --> 00:37:19,916
‪不管是什麼,都可以跟我說

653
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,666
‪我不會生氣

654
00:37:22,833 --> 00:37:23,666
‪好嗎?

655
00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:25,250
‪好吧

656
00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:29,375
‪好

657
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,375
‪我最近怪怪的是因為...

658
00:37:36,875 --> 00:37:38,291
‪我認為妳爸媽搶銀行

659
00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:42,666
‪什麼?

660
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,833
‪-你是認真的?
‪-對,我超認真

661
00:37:46,833 --> 00:37:48,375
‪其中一人知道我名字

662
00:37:48,375 --> 00:37:49,625
‪銀行網站上有寫

663
00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:53,375
‪我踩到他腳跟時
‪他馬上回頭瞪我,跟妳爸一樣

664
00:37:53,375 --> 00:37:54,750
‪你說他們有戴面罩

665
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:59,250
‪對,但那種鄙視我的眼神一模一樣

666
00:37:59,250 --> 00:38:00,791
‪是一種感覺

667
00:38:00,791 --> 00:38:03,291
‪而且他們知道

668
00:38:03,291 --> 00:38:07,291
‪“她在樓梯旁留玫瑰花給我”語音密碼

669
00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:10,291
‪能進入金庫,我喝醉時有告訴妳媽

670
00:38:10,291 --> 00:38:13,125
‪好,有別人知道密碼嗎?

671
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:17,875
‪只有幾個...對,泰利、蓋瑞、瑪莉娑

672
00:38:18,750 --> 00:38:22,750
‪我跟心理醫師講過一次
‪但我覺得她沒在聽

673
00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:24,208
‪-哇
‪-好

674
00:38:24,208 --> 00:38:26,416
‪是妳說他們很難搞的

675
00:38:26,416 --> 00:38:30,125
‪我是說他們個性很浮誇
‪不是說他們會搶銀行

676
00:38:30,625 --> 00:38:32,750
‪我不是說他們搶銀行

677
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:35,958
‪我是說他們可能有搶銀行

678
00:38:35,958 --> 00:38:38,250
‪我只是假設性討論一下

679
00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:42,416
‪我也只是假設性討論你他媽瘋了

680
00:38:57,875 --> 00:39:00,541
‪我們竟然要坐這台鬼車

681
00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:06,750
‪王八蛋銀行搶匪

682
00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:21,083
‪天啊,這玩意兒真會跑

683
00:39:32,833 --> 00:39:34,125
‪抱歉

684
00:39:35,583 --> 00:39:36,416
‪抱歉

685
00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,250
‪好,抱歉!

686
00:39:57,125 --> 00:39:58,416
‪...幹你娘!

687
00:40:05,041 --> 00:40:07,083
‪好,剛才真恐怖

688
00:40:17,875 --> 00:40:19,000
‪謝謝車載系統

689
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:19,958
‪我的榮幸

690
00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:30,125
‪浪子回頭,還帶了禮物

691
00:40:31,583 --> 00:40:34,583
‪天啊,你看起來真可口

692
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:37,708
‪我可以用啃玉米的方式吃你雞雞

693
00:40:47,375 --> 00:40:49,875
‪這是黑道老大的家嗎?真猛

694
00:40:53,875 --> 00:40:54,708
‪好

695
00:40:58,625 --> 00:40:59,458
‪拜託

696
00:41:02,083 --> 00:41:04,833
‪好,現在我知道有錢人幹嘛種這個

697
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:15,458
‪可以趕快完成嗎?

698
00:41:16,833 --> 00:41:19,875
‪大家為什麼不能文明點呢?

699
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:22,458
‪而且真正有權生氣的人是我

700
00:41:22,458 --> 00:41:25,833
‪我才是慘遭背叛的人吧?

701
00:41:43,750 --> 00:41:47,166
‪我真的很抱歉,小傢伙

702
00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:50,416
‪死定了...

703
00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,166
‪裡面將近100萬

704
00:41:57,041 --> 00:41:59,708
‪很好,現在你們只欠我500萬了

705
00:42:01,458 --> 00:42:03,458
‪迷你狗?這樣比較便宜嗎?

706
00:42:03,458 --> 00:42:06,000
‪我們只拿了100萬,不是600萬

707
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,333
‪你們忘了這一行的規矩嗎?

708
00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:11,000
‪你敢跑,利息就暴增

709
00:42:13,458 --> 00:42:15,041
‪抱歉,我踢了你們朋友

710
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:23,166
‪你們這些小狗,從上面看起來真可愛

711
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:25,708
‪要是你們高一點就好了

712
00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:28,791
‪為什麼?

713
00:42:29,833 --> 00:42:32,208
‪500萬得花點時間,蕾涵

714
00:42:32,208 --> 00:42:34,583
‪我看起來像不講理的女人嗎?

715
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,541
‪當然不是,期限是週末

716
00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:41,833
‪抱歉,會跟你們女兒結婚撞期嗎?

717
00:42:43,958 --> 00:42:47,208
‪靠,你們沒想到我知道你們有女兒?

718
00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:50,958
‪而且她,我們就假設她叫帕克吧

719
00:42:50,958 --> 00:42:53,291
‪她星期六就要結婚

720
00:42:53,791 --> 00:42:54,916
‪如果你們

721
00:42:54,916 --> 00:42:58,250
‪不在婚禮前給我500萬美元,帕克...

722
00:42:59,166 --> 00:43:01,666
‪就要變成地獄新娘了

723
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:07,333
‪-意思是她會死
‪-我懂

724
00:43:07,333 --> 00:43:09,666
‪我知道你懂,帥哥

725
00:43:09,666 --> 00:43:12,708
‪我有提到我做了新的鯊魚池嗎?

726
00:43:12,708 --> 00:43:15,833
‪也許可以用你們的女兒幫我測試

727
00:43:17,708 --> 00:43:19,875
‪這些混帳很餓喔

728
00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:27,083
‪帕克,快接

729
00:43:27,083 --> 00:43:29,375
‪-帕克,快接...
‪-謝謝...

730
00:43:29,375 --> 00:43:30,625
‪王八...

731
00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:33,666
‪完了...

732
00:43:34,291 --> 00:43:35,250
‪天啊

733
00:43:36,166 --> 00:43:37,000
‪好

734
00:43:41,375 --> 00:43:43,083
‪警察先生,有什麼事嗎?

735
00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:46,916
‪請拿出駕照然後自慰

736
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:49,000
‪好,早安

737
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,291
‪你氣色真差

738
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,791
‪我可是慘到用襪子當咖啡濾紙的人喔

739
00:43:54,791 --> 00:43:56,875
‪我沒事,謝謝關心

740
00:43:57,958 --> 00:44:00,666
‪好像有隻狗在咬你的小腿

741
00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:06,416
‪對,牠是我的小兄弟

742
00:44:06,416 --> 00:44:08,708
‪我們剛才去森林散步

743
00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:10,041
‪巧的是

744
00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:12,833
‪幽靈大盜完全知道

745
00:44:12,833 --> 00:44:15,583
‪怎麼規避你那家銀行的保全系統

746
00:44:16,083 --> 00:44:19,750
‪我打給陽山銀行問誰設計系統時

747
00:44:20,916 --> 00:44:22,125
‪你知道他們怎麼說嗎?

748
00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:26,666
‪你在暗示我跟搶案有關?

749
00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:29,083
‪可以打開後車廂嗎?

750
00:44:29,875 --> 00:44:32,625
‪-打開後車廂
‪-這也太扯了

751
00:44:32,625 --> 00:44:36,500
‪有夠離譜,我這輩子從來沒犯過法

752
00:44:38,208 --> 00:44:39,750
‪凡事總有第一次

753
00:44:41,041 --> 00:44:42,375
‪我看看

754
00:44:42,375 --> 00:44:44,375
‪兩支王八機

755
00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:46,833
‪2盒9釐米子彈,還有...

756
00:44:47,666 --> 00:44:49,625
‪變聲器

757
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:51,416
‪有人把這些放進後車廂

758
00:44:51,416 --> 00:44:53,833
‪誰,歐文?你跟誰同夥?

759
00:44:56,125 --> 00:44:57,000
‪誰,歐文?

760
00:44:57,583 --> 00:44:58,416
‪我...

761
00:44:58,958 --> 00:45:00,416
‪我不知道

762
00:45:00,416 --> 00:45:05,083
‪好,我懂,我有時也會忘記事情

763
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:10,416
‪要不要到牢裡休個長假
‪看看記憶能不能恢復?

764
00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:12,625
‪我這個週末要結婚耶

765
00:45:12,625 --> 00:45:16,416
‪我也結過婚,跟一個叫雪若的美女

766
00:45:17,666 --> 00:45:20,000
‪-你知道她在哪裡嗎?
‪-她死了嗎?

767
00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:22,125
‪想得美

768
00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:25,916
‪沒有,她跟特種部隊退伍的新老公

769
00:45:25,916 --> 00:45:27,333
‪住在基威斯特

770
00:45:27,833 --> 00:45:31,625
‪堅如磐石的腹肌,老二大到能停747

771
00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:32,958
‪很大的飛機

772
00:45:32,958 --> 00:45:34,750
‪很寬的飛機

773
00:45:35,583 --> 00:45:39,416
‪反正我滿腦子只想著抓幽靈大盜

774
00:45:39,916 --> 00:45:42,166
‪結果毀了我的婚姻

775
00:45:43,541 --> 00:45:44,583
‪我的房子

776
00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,125
‪搞不好連理智都毀了

777
00:45:47,125 --> 00:45:50,458
‪後來我開始想,會不會幽靈大盜

778
00:45:51,541 --> 00:45:53,791
‪真的只是幽靈

779
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:59,666
‪你可以用這股精力把雪若搶回來

780
00:46:00,416 --> 00:46:02,833
‪對吧?我會做照片集錦

781
00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:06,083
‪別被這個大屌人擊敗了

782
00:46:06,666 --> 00:46:08,625
‪-把他關起來
‪-不行!我要結婚

783
00:46:08,625 --> 00:46:10,166
‪你這個週末

784
00:46:10,666 --> 00:46:13,875
‪可以在牢裡結婚,順便辦單身派對

785
00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:16,958
‪不是我幹的

786
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,333
‪是我岳父和岳母

787
00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:23,666
‪他們搶我的銀行,我沒幫忙

788
00:46:23,666 --> 00:46:24,583
‪他們利用我

789
00:46:25,166 --> 00:46:26,666
‪你這小子這麼快翻供

790
00:46:27,416 --> 00:46:30,250
‪拿出證據,戴竊聽器,騙他們招供

791
00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,000
‪你要我告密?

792
00:46:32,583 --> 00:46:34,416
‪歐文,我要你伸張正義

793
00:46:35,208 --> 00:46:38,916
‪洗刷冤屈,幫我抓幽靈大盜

794
00:46:40,125 --> 00:46:42,625
‪另外沒錯啦,也要告密

795
00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:47,500
‪帕克

796
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:50,583
‪帕克,喂,帕克

797
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:53,541
‪-你來啦,去哪裡了?
‪-我們要討論一下

798
00:46:53,541 --> 00:46:56,333
‪-你幹嘛捏著胸口?
‪-因為我...

799
00:46:57,583 --> 00:47:01,458
‪...穿很軟的襯衫,哇
‪我的手指好像在做水療

800
00:47:01,458 --> 00:47:03,208
‪-好像有漿過...
‪-別碰我!

801
00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:06,208
‪對不起

802
00:47:06,208 --> 00:47:10,916
‪只是...岳父岳母不該在婚禮前碰新郎

803
00:47:10,916 --> 00:47:13,166
‪-狗屁
‪-歐文,你在吸毒嗎?

804
00:47:13,166 --> 00:47:15,500
‪我不犯法,跟某些人不一樣

805
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:18,666
‪有的人會...犯法,我不會計較

806
00:47:18,666 --> 00:47:21,791
‪我們可以討論這件事,或者一吐為快

807
00:47:21,791 --> 00:47:25,083
‪好,我們該走了,因為要去麵包店

808
00:47:26,208 --> 00:47:29,791
‪麵包店,好,我們兩個應該去麵包店

809
00:47:29,791 --> 00:47:33,000
‪因為麵包師傅死了,要找新的蛋糕

810
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,958
‪我們全都一起去吧,和樂的大家庭

811
00:47:37,208 --> 00:47:39,000
‪你們不會想處理雜事啦

812
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,000
‪我想

813
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,333
‪我們當然想,誰不喜歡甜點?

814
00:47:42,333 --> 00:47:47,083
‪他們做素食甜點
‪我們都知道跟大便一樣難吃

815
00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:50,125
‪對不起,帕克,但是我老實說

816
00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:52,583
‪素食跟大便一樣難吃,好嗎?

817
00:47:52,583 --> 00:47:55,583
‪所以你們留下,我們去吃大便,來吧

818
00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:57,291
‪只要現在離開就好

819
00:47:57,291 --> 00:48:01,000
‪-我們要遲到了
‪-大家都要去?好吧

820
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:06,750
‪我們要去葛蘭特大道1308號試吃蛋糕

821
00:48:06,750 --> 00:48:10,833
‪我旅行時會拿兩個旅行箱
‪一個帶上機,一個麥克風測試

822
00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,125
‪麥克風測試

823
00:48:12,125 --> 00:48:13,291
‪笨蛋

824
00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:16,541
‪你要開車,比利麥多摩要開車,很好

825
00:48:18,416 --> 00:48:20,833
‪要玩團康遊戲嗎?

826
00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:23,583
‪我只在萬聖節才戴恐怖面具

827
00:48:24,083 --> 00:48:25,125
‪現在換你們

828
00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:26,833
‪(素食女伶,永遠好吃)

829
00:48:26,833 --> 00:48:30,291
‪我們到了,我快到門口了

830
00:48:30,291 --> 00:48:33,208
‪你們真的不想在車上等?好吧

831
00:48:33,708 --> 00:48:36,958
‪我們就在門口,我要開門了

832
00:48:37,625 --> 00:48:39,666
‪-這邊,請進

833
00:48:39,666 --> 00:48:41,083
‪-味道好香
‪-真香

834
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:42,541
‪好,有蛋糕

835
00:48:43,041 --> 00:48:45,791
‪歡迎光臨素食女伶,可以買蛋糕...

836
00:48:46,375 --> 00:48:47,583
‪也能吃下去!

837
00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,750
‪我是小凱,這是我姊姊艾妲

838
00:48:50,750 --> 00:48:55,666
‪她代表素食,我代表女伶

839
00:48:56,416 --> 00:48:59,500
‪謝謝妳們在最後一分鐘接單

840
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:02,458
‪別客氣,我最懂“最後一分鐘”了

841
00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:04,416
‪因為我沒準時過

842
00:49:04,416 --> 00:49:08,541
‪你真的要找這家?
‪我們的婚禮都選好時間了

843
00:49:08,541 --> 00:49:11,916
‪沒關係,評價很讚,她們只是在演

844
00:49:13,541 --> 00:49:16,791
‪-我怎麼老是這樣,艾妲?
‪-小凱,妳可能流血了

845
00:49:16,791 --> 00:49:18,208
‪-艾妲!
‪-好,對不起

846
00:49:18,208 --> 00:49:20,125
‪-蛋糕,快點!
‪-好啦

847
00:49:22,458 --> 00:49:25,416
‪這是我們的“比打砲還爽”紅絲絨蛋糕

848
00:49:25,416 --> 00:49:27,041
‪艾妲的心血結晶

849
00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:29,208
‪這名字可不是亂取的

850
00:49:29,208 --> 00:49:30,708
‪我親自比較過

851
00:49:30,708 --> 00:49:32,125
‪這是素的?

852
00:49:33,333 --> 00:49:34,166
‪對啊

853
00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:38,750
‪帕克,能跟妳私下講一下話嗎?

854
00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:40,375
‪怎麼了?

855
00:49:40,375 --> 00:49:42,208
‪-我想在...
‪-什麼?好啊

856
00:49:42,208 --> 00:49:45,333
‪...做出重大決定之前先講好

857
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,791
‪-知道嗎?
‪-真的?

858
00:49:54,583 --> 00:49:56,916
‪-你這邊黏到東西
‪-美女,是什麼?

859
00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:58,750
‪搞屁啊?

860
00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:02,416
‪對不起啦,我不知道你們是一對

861
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:04,125
‪歐文,怎麼回事?

862
00:50:04,125 --> 00:50:06,166
‪我知道這樣講很扯

863
00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:09,750
‪但是聯邦調查局認為我涉入搶案

864
00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:11,416
‪-什麼?
‪-所以逼我戴...

865
00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:13,875
‪這間小麵包店真可愛

866
00:50:13,875 --> 00:50:16,333
‪-妳一定是帕克
‪-嗨

867
00:50:17,708 --> 00:50:20,125
‪-妳來幹嘛?
‪-誰也別想鬧事!

868
00:50:20,125 --> 00:50:22,166
‪拿槍的人是妳吧?美女

869
00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:23,791
‪對,妳現在拿槍

870
00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:26,541
‪在麵包店裡挾持人質

871
00:50:27,041 --> 00:50:28,166
‪人質

872
00:50:29,583 --> 00:50:33,208
‪-這在搞什麼鬼?
‪-我們說過會還妳錢

873
00:50:33,208 --> 00:50:36,708
‪對,你說過,但我又想起你們會騙人

874
00:50:36,708 --> 00:50:40,000
‪為了避免你們又人間蒸發

875
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,958
‪我想還是來這裡...

876
00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,250
‪保個險

877
00:50:48,500 --> 00:50:50,791
‪-帕克,跟著走
‪-喂...

878
00:50:50,791 --> 00:50:51,875
‪不然帶走我吧

879
00:50:51,875 --> 00:50:52,916
‪帶走我

880
00:50:52,916 --> 00:50:55,750
‪你這個熊寶寶以為自己能當人質嗎?

881
00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:58,291
‪這裡根本沒人在乎你的死活

882
00:50:58,791 --> 00:51:01,708
‪你看看他們,問清楚

883
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,250
‪根本不鳥你

884
00:51:04,833 --> 00:51:07,166
‪我不懂,難道歐文說對了?

885
00:51:07,166 --> 00:51:08,875
‪聽她話就對了

886
00:51:08,875 --> 00:51:11,958
‪寶貝,妳要保持冷靜

887
00:51:11,958 --> 00:51:15,166
‪好感人喔,我要眼角含淚了

888
00:51:15,166 --> 00:51:17,666
‪-爸?
‪-但我喜歡含別的“東西”

889
00:51:17,666 --> 00:51:20,041
‪你可以隨時來“吃”我

890
00:51:20,041 --> 00:51:23,916
‪神啊,請救救我的未婚妻
‪她從麵包店後門離開了

891
00:51:23,916 --> 00:51:25,958
‪我是聯邦調查局的,不准動!

892
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:27,375
‪帕克,神會救妳的!

893
00:51:35,666 --> 00:51:40,041
‪神啊,拜託...

894
00:51:47,541 --> 00:51:48,458
‪靠!

895
00:51:53,208 --> 00:51:56,958
‪羅傑,別怕,你可以的!
‪要有男人的樣子,豬頭!

896
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:08,166
‪(紅色色膏)

897
00:52:32,458 --> 00:52:33,791
‪天啊!

898
00:52:35,458 --> 00:52:36,291
‪我操!

899
00:52:36,291 --> 00:52:39,458
‪快抓住她!他媽的上車!

900
00:52:43,291 --> 00:52:44,625
‪我去追她

901
00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:45,541
‪搞屁啊?

902
00:52:45,541 --> 00:52:47,083
‪王八蛋

903
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:50,375
‪幹,每樣東西都是蛋糕

904
00:52:51,166 --> 00:52:52,375
‪我去追她!

905
00:52:52,375 --> 00:52:54,958
‪你會害死自己,快趴下!

906
00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:03,166
‪你他媽真氣死我了!

907
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,166
‪閉嘴!

908
00:53:11,666 --> 00:53:12,833
‪莉莉!

909
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:13,833
‪前面!

910
00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:14,750
‪走吧

911
00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,750
‪朝車子開槍

912
00:53:23,291 --> 00:53:24,958
‪他媽的還我錢來!

913
00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:27,166
‪靠

914
00:53:27,166 --> 00:53:29,208
‪幹,我真愛這份工作!

915
00:53:30,250 --> 00:53:31,583
‪臭雞巴!

916
00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:32,500
‪不准動!

917
00:53:33,625 --> 00:53:34,458
‪什麼?

918
00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:35,458
‪把槍放下

919
00:53:35,958 --> 00:53:37,000
‪馬上把槍放下

920
00:53:38,666 --> 00:53:40,500
‪-他們抓我女兒
‪-不准動

921
00:53:49,791 --> 00:53:51,375
‪臭雞巴

922
00:53:53,375 --> 00:53:56,166
‪你應該要保護她的

923
00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:58,583
‪難怪人民都不相信政府

924
00:53:58,583 --> 00:54:00,625
‪都是你害的,喂!

925
00:54:00,625 --> 00:54:02,625
‪讓我上車

926
00:54:03,208 --> 00:54:04,625
‪不行...

927
00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:05,916
‪讓我上車好嗎?

928
00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:07,208
‪好,我堅持到底

929
00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:23,208
‪怎麼了?

930
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:27,791
‪天啊

931
00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:31,416
‪拜託,給我出來,這樣就對了

932
00:54:32,291 --> 00:54:34,583
‪為什麼停車?我們要追她!

933
00:54:35,166 --> 00:54:36,458
‪我知道那女人住哪裡

934
00:54:36,458 --> 00:54:39,625
‪蕾涵到處都有家
‪不知道她把帕克帶去哪裡

935
00:54:39,625 --> 00:54:41,666
‪知道了又能怎樣?

936
00:54:41,666 --> 00:54:45,375
‪鑽進籬笆,被一群迷你狗追到樹上?

937
00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,500
‪帕克不見了

938
00:54:48,208 --> 00:54:50,291
‪-對不起
‪-那現在怎麼辦?

939
00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:53,416
‪你他媽先把竊聽器拿掉

940
00:54:53,416 --> 00:54:54,708
‪你這個屎人

941
00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:57,541
‪我知道你很孬,但不知道你會告密

942
00:54:57,541 --> 00:55:00,041
‪抱歉喔,我不要幫你們背黑鍋

943
00:55:00,041 --> 00:55:01,541
‪又沒要你背

944
00:55:01,541 --> 00:55:03,750
‪沒有,你們只是陷害我

945
00:55:03,750 --> 00:55:06,833
‪把搶銀行的證據放進後車廂!

946
00:55:08,291 --> 00:55:09,791
‪法官不會定他的罪

947
00:55:09,791 --> 00:55:11,583
‪他只會忙得沒空結婚

948
00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:14,750
‪免得帕克犯下人生最大的錯誤

949
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:19,166
‪她是因為你們才被綁架的!

950
00:55:19,791 --> 00:55:23,208
‪你們回來前,帕克頂多能有多慘?

951
00:55:23,708 --> 00:55:26,166
‪被自己做的燒餅燙到嘴

952
00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:29,291
‪我本來可以把燒餅吹涼,但我感冒

953
00:55:29,291 --> 00:55:32,916
‪你們怎麼可能知道她要什麼?

954
00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:35,208
‪又需要什麼?你們又不在

955
00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:38,125
‪因為我們想保護她,所以才離開

956
00:55:38,125 --> 00:55:39,625
‪蕾涵以前是我們的同夥

957
00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:41,958
‪她負責挑銀行和洗錢

958
00:55:41,958 --> 00:55:43,333
‪後來她發神經

959
00:55:43,333 --> 00:55:46,041
‪我們擔心她會知道帕克的事

960
00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,750
‪所以幹了最後一票就拿錢跑路

961
00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:49,750
‪我才不管

962
00:55:49,750 --> 00:55:52,958
‪我不管以前怎麼樣,我只想救回帕克

963
00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:54,583
‪對啊,我們都是

964
00:55:57,083 --> 00:56:00,875
‪你們要在兩天內籌到500萬
‪所以還要搶其他銀行吧?

965
00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:04,708
‪找個銀行行長當同夥不錯吧?

966
00:56:06,375 --> 00:56:10,500
‪我懂銀行的罩門,哪些銀行現金多

967
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:12,500
‪他們運鈔的時間、地點

968
00:56:13,041 --> 00:56:15,916
‪他連打蛋都會緊張,能搶銀行嗎?

969
00:56:15,916 --> 00:56:19,541
‪如果是為了救帕克,我他媽搶給你看

970
00:56:24,583 --> 00:56:28,958
‪我們早就知道他們會犯法
‪畢竟他們白天就喝酒

971
00:56:28,958 --> 00:56:33,500
‪對,而且他們女兒...是瑜珈老師

972
00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:36,375
‪我沒說什麼,可是你自己想

973
00:56:38,375 --> 00:56:40,250
‪妳知道他們可能去哪裡嗎?

974
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:45,041
‪歐文能去你們別的房子還哪裡嗎?

975
00:56:45,041 --> 00:56:47,000
‪像是度假別墅...

976
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,833
‪度假別墅?開什麼玩笑?
‪我們看起來像暴發戶嗎?

977
00:56:54,791 --> 00:56:57,666
‪這裡列出半徑160公里內的所有銀行

978
00:56:57,666 --> 00:57:02,041
‪按照存放金額大小排列
‪從小型銀行一直到...

979
00:57:02,041 --> 00:57:04,500
‪亞特拉斯儲備銀行,2000萬美元

980
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,833
‪一次搞定

981
00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:06,833
‪簡單

982
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:08,458
‪想得美

983
00:57:08,458 --> 00:57:09,375
‪-是嗎?
‪-別想了

984
00:57:09,375 --> 00:57:11,083
‪不能搶亞特拉斯儲備銀行

985
00:57:11,083 --> 00:57:13,541
‪金妃比把那裡管得滴水不漏

986
00:57:13,541 --> 00:57:14,708
‪金妃比是誰?

987
00:57:14,708 --> 00:57:18,250
‪你們不是幽靈大盜?
‪怎麼不知道金妃比是誰?

988
00:57:18,958 --> 00:57:21,208
‪她是防搶系統先驅

989
00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:25,416
‪在銀行每個角落設下三層防盜系統

990
00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:26,833
‪連我都想搞自己

991
00:57:26,833 --> 00:57:28,083
‪至於她的金庫呢?

992
00:57:28,083 --> 00:57:31,500
‪配備生物辨識系統、重量感應

993
00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:35,583
‪更別提隨機時間鎖,好嗎?

994
00:57:36,375 --> 00:57:37,541
‪你什麼時候做的?

995
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:42,041
‪我去販賣機買無糖汽水時
‪怪的是我口袋裡好多材料

996
00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:45,458
‪我先搞清楚
‪你為我們不搶的銀行做了模型?

997
00:57:47,375 --> 00:57:51,625
‪-還有1個,他做了2個
‪-我做了12個,只有2個能看

998
00:57:51,625 --> 00:57:53,375
‪我們不搶金妃比

999
00:57:53,375 --> 00:57:57,000
‪要搶的是勝利聯合銀行
‪那家銀行的行長很懶

1000
00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,125
‪超級廢

1001
00:57:59,666 --> 00:58:02,250
‪我們要搶的是文斯米蘭

1002
00:58:04,250 --> 00:58:06,583
‪文斯少了右睪丸,因為有一次

1003
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:08,875
‪他用力坐下時壓爛睪丸

1004
00:58:10,416 --> 00:58:12,750
‪他爸爸是銀行老闆才有工作

1005
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:13,750
‪好

1006
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,666
‪文斯這個人只重視偷吃步

1007
00:58:18,666 --> 00:58:21,208
‪聯邦政府根據安全和保險規範

1008
00:58:21,208 --> 00:58:23,208
‪限制每家分行存放的現金

1009
00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:24,750
‪如果超過限額

1010
00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:27,625
‪行長就得找運鈔車載走金庫的錢

1011
00:58:27,625 --> 00:58:29,458
‪幫我鎖門,我要玩漆彈

1012
00:58:30,375 --> 00:58:34,541
‪運鈔車應該直接把現金載去儲備金庫

1013
00:58:34,541 --> 00:58:36,916
‪但是文斯討厭文書作業

1014
00:58:38,083 --> 00:58:40,166
‪所以他叫同一輛運鈔車

1015
00:58:40,166 --> 00:58:42,875
‪收取他管理的三家分行現金後

1016
00:58:42,875 --> 00:58:45,208
‪才送去儲備金庫

1017
00:58:45,208 --> 00:58:48,958
‪只要在車子離開第三家分行後下手...

1018
00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:50,833
‪就等於一次搶三家銀行

1019
00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:53,541
‪-我們只需要偽裝
‪-對啊

1020
00:58:53,541 --> 00:58:54,708
‪我需要一把槍

1021
00:58:56,083 --> 00:58:57,875
‪什麼?天啊

1022
00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:02,500
‪比我想像中輕好多

1023
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:03,833
‪這是水槍

1024
00:59:05,458 --> 00:59:07,000
‪-是嗎?
‪-對

1025
00:59:07,666 --> 00:59:08,916
‪我這樣還是很酷嗎?

1026
00:59:09,833 --> 00:59:11,458
‪對,你這樣很像007

1027
00:59:11,958 --> 00:59:13,000
‪哪一任?

1028
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,083
‪-第五任
‪-那一任很棒

1029
00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:17,333
‪(勝利聯合銀行)

1030
00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,208
‪(布里格運鈔服務)

1031
01:00:11,291 --> 01:00:14,208
‪所有人躺到地上!別逞英雄

1032
01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:21,000
‪喂,驢子

1033
01:00:23,833 --> 01:00:26,291
‪天啊,這樣真的好暴力

1034
01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:29,458
‪我的口音比較像愛爾蘭還是蘇格蘭?

1035
01:00:29,458 --> 01:00:32,166
‪應該要像蘇格蘭,結果像愛爾蘭

1036
01:00:32,166 --> 01:00:33,208
‪別告訴比利

1037
01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:35,250
‪專心點,我們在搶銀行

1038
01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:38,708
‪別忘了,你才是老大

1039
01:00:42,166 --> 01:00:44,208
‪沒錯,我是老大,好嗎?

1040
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:45,958
‪所以誰也別逞英雄

1041
01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:49,000
‪不然我把你們斃了!

1042
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,916
‪射爆你的屁股!

1043
01:01:03,250 --> 01:01:05,000
‪所有人繼續趴著,好嗎?

1044
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,791
‪喜歡《史瑞克》嗎?最愛哪個角色?

1045
01:01:07,791 --> 01:01:09,000
‪我喜歡史瑞克

1046
01:01:10,666 --> 01:01:13,041
‪你幹嘛?別起來

1047
01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:16,208
‪好,你起來了,可是別過來好嗎?

1048
01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:20,083
‪別走過來...別衝過來

1049
01:01:24,833 --> 01:01:26,000
‪真輕鬆

1050
01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:44,375
‪搞屁啊?

1051
01:01:47,291 --> 01:01:48,583
‪不准動!

1052
01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:51,083
‪別慌,小子,我對準你了

1053
01:01:55,708 --> 01:01:57,666
‪把槍放下,快點

1054
01:01:57,666 --> 01:01:59,000
‪非常好

1055
01:02:12,875 --> 01:02:14,625
‪莉莉!交給我,去拿錢

1056
01:02:48,875 --> 01:02:51,583
‪小子,快點,你他媽去哪裡了?

1057
01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:08,750
‪總算喔,史瑞克

1058
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,708
‪抱歉,有個很像巨石強森的傢伙

1059
01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:13,250
‪剛剛心臟病發作

1060
01:03:13,250 --> 01:03:15,958
‪所以我幫他急救,你們搶得怎麼樣?

1061
01:03:15,958 --> 01:03:17,458
‪三比二,我的朋友

1062
01:03:17,458 --> 01:03:18,875
‪-放下槍
‪-怎麼辦?

1063
01:03:18,875 --> 01:03:20,625
‪-不知道
‪-放下槍

1064
01:03:26,791 --> 01:03:29,916
‪可以快點嗎?可以加快速度嗎?

1065
01:03:29,916 --> 01:03:32,291
‪好,放下槍吧

1066
01:03:33,416 --> 01:03:34,583
‪慢慢放下

1067
01:03:38,166 --> 01:03:39,458
‪搞屁啊?

1068
01:03:40,750 --> 01:03:42,333
‪-靠
‪-王八蛋!

1069
01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:46,916
‪天啊!

1070
01:03:50,833 --> 01:03:52,166
‪那個小子有夠笨

1071
01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:57,958
‪幹,接應車完了

1072
01:03:57,958 --> 01:03:58,916
‪好

1073
01:04:11,208 --> 01:04:12,041
‪上車!

1074
01:04:12,041 --> 01:04:13,666
‪快去...

1075
01:04:14,875 --> 01:04:16,916
‪好耶!要上路了

1076
01:04:16,916 --> 01:04:18,166
‪閉嘴,快開車!

1077
01:04:18,166 --> 01:04:19,666
‪好,我們走吧

1078
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,500
‪我一直想當校車司機

1079
01:04:33,666 --> 01:04:36,416
‪錢啊!

1080
01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:39,500
‪完了

1081
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,958
‪-這下慘了
‪-我要踹死你,史瑞克

1082
01:04:48,875 --> 01:04:50,625
‪不是砍警察預算了嗎?

1083
01:04:58,750 --> 01:04:59,875
‪馬上靠邊停車

1084
01:05:04,125 --> 01:05:06,541
‪對不起!對,現在他們火了

1085
01:05:06,541 --> 01:05:08,000
‪(奧克里警局)

1086
01:05:13,166 --> 01:05:14,291
‪天啊

1087
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,000
‪他不會有事的,沒關係

1088
01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:33,666
‪他是要開去哪裡?

1089
01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:43,375
‪天啊!

1090
01:05:48,750 --> 01:05:51,041
‪天主原諒我們,瑪利亞與若瑟!

1091
01:05:59,833 --> 01:06:03,041
‪...我們此時內心充滿哀悼...

1092
01:06:08,041 --> 01:06:09,416
‪進了!

1093
01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:11,833
‪一點都不尊重別人

1094
01:06:27,958 --> 01:06:30,416
‪我曾祖母應該是葬在這裡

1095
01:06:30,416 --> 01:06:32,375
‪媽的閉嘴!

1096
01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:33,375
‪好啦

1097
01:06:34,583 --> 01:06:35,833
‪靠

1098
01:06:37,625 --> 01:06:39,291
‪為什麼?

1099
01:06:44,291 --> 01:06:45,250
‪靠!

1100
01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:47,583
‪-天啊
‪-那是什麼聲音?

1101
01:06:47,583 --> 01:06:51,250
‪吃優格點心時間到,不然血糖會下降

1102
01:06:51,250 --> 01:06:53,208
‪-給我
‪-要選口味嗎?

1103
01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:55,458
‪-他媽的優格!
‪-總算來了

1104
01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:57,875
‪靠

1105
01:07:04,916 --> 01:07:06,958
‪(霹靂小組)

1106
01:07:07,541 --> 01:07:08,708
‪靠

1107
01:07:13,916 --> 01:07:15,208
‪我們搶到多少?

1108
01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:19,458
‪60美元

1109
01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,083
‪60美元

1110
01:07:23,083 --> 01:07:25,583
‪好,這也算好的開始

1111
01:07:42,583 --> 01:07:44,625
‪對不起,這是什麼鬼?

1112
01:07:45,708 --> 01:07:47,958
‪妳不認識他?他是巴巴揚

1113
01:07:47,958 --> 01:07:52,000
‪就像前蘇聯集團的肯伊威斯特

1114
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,041
‪肯爺來了嗎?

1115
01:07:53,041 --> 01:07:55,458
‪媽的閉嘴,跳就對了!

1116
01:07:57,666 --> 01:07:59,833
‪我爸媽有搶銀行嗎?

1117
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,625
‪我的“下面”很神奇嗎?

1118
01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:03,541
‪答案是“對”

1119
01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:07,166
‪妳爸媽是超強的銀行搶匪

1120
01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:11,375
‪他們消失後,我覺得...他們背叛我

1121
01:08:13,125 --> 01:08:14,291
‪妳想逃?

1122
01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:17,458
‪笨女人

1123
01:08:17,458 --> 01:08:18,958
‪現在給我聽好了

1124
01:08:18,958 --> 01:08:22,291
‪巴巴揚就要表演壓軸好戲

1125
01:08:23,750 --> 01:08:27,916
‪巴巴揚好棒!

1126
01:08:37,458 --> 01:08:38,833
‪我手機好像放車上

1127
01:08:39,333 --> 01:08:41,458
‪好,看來不能叫車了

1128
01:08:42,666 --> 01:08:44,166
‪急救?

1129
01:08:44,166 --> 01:08:48,000
‪你特地停下來幫人急救?

1130
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,000
‪-我被訓練制約了
‪-你這隻蠢豬!

1131
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:55,125
‪好,夠了,我們剩不到24小時能籌錢

1132
01:08:55,125 --> 01:08:58,416
‪別管那筆錢了,我們要先救帕克

1133
01:08:58,416 --> 01:08:59,708
‪然後逃出國

1134
01:08:59,708 --> 01:09:02,125
‪我們這次不能再逃了

1135
01:09:02,125 --> 01:09:04,458
‪帕克在這裡過得很好

1136
01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:07,750
‪-這樣對她才好
‪-不對,只有對我們才好

1137
01:09:11,708 --> 01:09:12,875
‪我有個建議

1138
01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:17,083
‪去搶亞特拉斯儲備銀行

1139
01:09:17,083 --> 01:09:20,791
‪你不是說:“誰都別想搶金妃比?”

1140
01:09:21,750 --> 01:09:24,625
‪一個人不行,也許三個人可以

1141
01:09:25,583 --> 01:09:27,750
‪我知道怎麼進去

1142
01:09:27,750 --> 01:09:30,875
‪但不知道警察出現後怎麼逃走

1143
01:09:30,875 --> 01:09:33,458
‪也許我們可以找人幫忙

1144
01:09:36,458 --> 01:09:38,166
‪數到三喊“幽靈大盜”

1145
01:09:38,166 --> 01:09:39,083
‪三...

1146
01:09:40,916 --> 01:09:43,416
‪本來可以很酷的,大家等我

1147
01:09:43,416 --> 01:09:48,958
‪今天稍早,一名男子
‪打扮成知名動畫角色史瑞克

1148
01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:53,625
‪打算行搶勝利聯合銀行
‪但是他馬上發現難度很高...

1149
01:09:53,625 --> 01:09:58,125
‪一定是歐文扮成史瑞克
‪他的大屁股超好認

1150
01:09:58,125 --> 01:10:00,125
‪-不是他
‪-不是

1151
01:10:00,125 --> 01:10:01,375
‪靠,他瘋了

1152
01:10:01,375 --> 01:10:03,041
‪他為什麼上電視?

1153
01:10:03,041 --> 01:10:04,625
‪我再打給他一次

1154
01:10:06,916 --> 01:10:08,541
‪-喂
‪-我是比利

1155
01:10:08,541 --> 01:10:09,750
‪是比利

1156
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:11,708
‪-好...
‪-你給我聽好

1157
01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:14,541
‪你敢動我兒子一根背毛,我發誓...

1158
01:10:14,541 --> 01:10:17,458
‪閉嘴聽好,我不會動你兒子的背毛

1159
01:10:17,458 --> 01:10:19,541
‪但是我要利用他搶銀行

1160
01:10:19,541 --> 01:10:23,166
‪如果不想讓他坐牢,就開車接應我們

1161
01:10:23,166 --> 01:10:26,708
‪等一下,你要我們開車接應?

1162
01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:29,333
‪明天早上10點去歐文的銀行

1163
01:10:29,333 --> 01:10:30,958
‪不要熄火

1164
01:10:31,458 --> 01:10:32,875
‪讓我講

1165
01:10:32,875 --> 01:10:35,583
‪媽?爸?我好害怕

1166
01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:37,958
‪求求你們,如果你們愛我

1167
01:10:37,958 --> 01:10:40,791
‪就別告訴聯邦調查局的老漢探員

1168
01:10:40,791 --> 01:10:42,625
‪兒子,我發誓

1169
01:10:42,625 --> 01:10:44,416
‪我們絕對保密!

1170
01:10:44,916 --> 01:10:46,041
‪誰都不會說

1171
01:10:50,375 --> 01:10:52,750
‪-他們說幾點?
‪-早上10點

1172
01:10:55,583 --> 01:10:57,333
‪為什麼車上的鐘說8點?

1173
01:10:58,166 --> 01:11:01,375
‪我到鳳凰城出差後沒調回來

1174
01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:04,166
‪不太對勁

1175
01:11:08,166 --> 01:11:10,625
‪(亞特拉斯儲備銀行)

1176
01:11:11,166 --> 01:11:13,166
‪很順利,沒有警察

1177
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:16,333
‪我就說他們不會當共犯

1178
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,333
‪歐文,你最好拿著槍

1179
01:11:20,666 --> 01:11:22,416
‪哇,好重

1180
01:11:22,416 --> 01:11:24,833
‪裡面可沒裝水,是裝子彈

1181
01:11:24,833 --> 01:11:27,208
‪無論如何都不能...

1182
01:11:27,208 --> 01:11:28,250
‪天啊

1183
01:11:28,250 --> 01:11:30,208
‪不要扣扳機

1184
01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:36,250
‪好,上場了

1185
01:11:37,416 --> 01:11:38,791
‪等我打訊號

1186
01:11:42,416 --> 01:11:45,500
‪我們得做出多少爛決定

1187
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:46,833
‪才淪落到這種地步

1188
01:11:47,333 --> 01:11:50,291
‪把事情全都交給這個討厭的小白痴?

1189
01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,416
‪我們死定了

1190
01:11:53,416 --> 01:11:55,416
‪這個討厭的小白痴

1191
01:11:55,416 --> 01:11:58,458
‪就要為我們的女兒去搶第二家銀行

1192
01:11:59,000 --> 01:11:59,833
‪我喜歡他

1193
01:12:03,208 --> 01:12:05,333
‪對不起,可是我根本就亂來

1194
01:12:05,333 --> 01:12:09,416
‪我眼睜睜看著銀行被搶,我好爛

1195
01:12:09,416 --> 01:12:11,208
‪我真是爛斃了!

1196
01:12:11,208 --> 01:12:12,666
‪首先,別哭了

1197
01:12:13,333 --> 01:12:15,500
‪我一聽到嬰兒哭就會噴奶

1198
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:17,875
‪不能再弄髒衣服了

1199
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:19,333
‪我要請妳幫忙

1200
01:12:20,416 --> 01:12:23,333
‪妳能讓我參觀金庫
‪見識真正的保全系統嗎?

1201
01:12:23,333 --> 01:12:25,958
‪-你想進去看我的金庫?
‪-對

1202
01:12:25,958 --> 01:12:29,083
‪記得我說用火雞就能破你的金庫嗎?

1203
01:12:29,666 --> 01:12:31,375
‪-記得
‪-模仿火雞聲音

1204
01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:35,125
‪我模仿,妳就讓我進金庫?

1205
01:12:35,125 --> 01:12:37,291
‪快點!我要聽

1206
01:12:39,833 --> 01:12:40,833
‪用喉嚨

1207
01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:43,458
‪大聲一點

1208
01:12:43,458 --> 01:12:44,458
‪這就對了

1209
01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:51,291
‪走吧

1210
01:12:57,333 --> 01:12:58,166
‪哇

1211
01:12:59,416 --> 01:13:00,583
‪挺厚實的

1212
01:13:00,583 --> 01:13:02,041
‪你喜歡啊?

1213
01:13:03,166 --> 01:13:04,083
‪這是誘餌!

1214
01:13:04,083 --> 01:13:07,125
‪我不會做這麼鳥的金庫,又不是你

1215
01:13:07,708 --> 01:13:11,708
‪“只要在前面放一個大圓盤
‪這樣就能鎖好鎖滿”

1216
01:13:11,708 --> 01:13:12,791
‪畸形

1217
01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:16,000
‪-不准看
‪-好啦

1218
01:13:19,583 --> 01:13:22,166
‪最後幾碼不重要,我都這樣自慰

1219
01:13:27,583 --> 01:13:28,916
‪感覺真爽

1220
01:13:41,625 --> 01:13:43,083
‪金妃比

1221
01:13:43,916 --> 01:13:45,208
‪你懂的,賤貨

1222
01:13:49,458 --> 01:13:50,416
‪這是...

1223
01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:54,583
‪三重強化鈦合金門
‪加上數位、手動和密碼鎖?

1224
01:13:57,250 --> 01:13:58,250
‪遜炮

1225
01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:01,000
‪敢規定我什麼時候休假

1226
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:02,958
‪老子他媽的想休假就休假

1227
01:14:03,458 --> 01:14:06,208
‪靠,懂我意思嗎?我才不管...

1228
01:14:08,083 --> 01:14:11,625
‪那不是歐文的爸媽嗎?
‪他們跑來銀行幹嘛?

1229
01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:14,541
‪白朗寧先生太太!你們來幹嘛?

1230
01:14:15,041 --> 01:14:16,000
‪你們還好吧?

1231
01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:19,416
‪怎麼這副表情?緊張兮兮又疑神疑鬼

1232
01:14:19,416 --> 01:14:22,708
‪好像雕像,跟蠟像館一樣

1233
01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:27,041
‪-後座是不是有個警察?
‪-我不是警察

1234
01:14:27,041 --> 01:14:30,500
‪我是探員,你可以小聲點嗎?

1235
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:33,583
‪首先,他媽的有差嗎?你又不管這裡

1236
01:14:33,583 --> 01:14:35,833
‪-這又不是你的管區

1237
01:14:35,833 --> 01:14:37,500
‪-泰利
‪-幹嘛?

1238
01:14:37,500 --> 01:14:40,583
‪別說出去,不過有人要搶你們銀行

1239
01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:43,541
‪別說出去?他們又要搶銀行?

1240
01:14:43,541 --> 01:14:45,083
‪搞屁啊?

1241
01:14:45,083 --> 01:14:48,125
‪混蛋!我還沒拿走微波爐裡的東西

1242
01:14:48,125 --> 01:14:50,166
‪幹!我還沒拿走便當!

1243
01:14:50,166 --> 01:14:52,541
‪別噓我!幹,我走人了

1244
01:14:53,208 --> 01:14:56,125
‪-幹!
‪-妳幹嘛講那句?

1245
01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:58,708
‪我叫妳什麼都別說的

1246
01:14:58,708 --> 01:15:00,041
‪這工作真他媽爛!

1247
01:15:00,041 --> 01:15:02,666
‪就像歐文叫你們別講出去

1248
01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:08,208
‪這是陷阱!他們去搶別家銀行了!

1249
01:15:11,416 --> 01:15:14,083
‪-下車,我要徵用你的車
‪-休想

1250
01:15:14,083 --> 01:15:17,208
‪我用好幾年才把椅子調成我要的角度

1251
01:15:17,208 --> 01:15:18,458
‪天啊

1252
01:15:20,208 --> 01:15:21,583
‪王八蛋!

1253
01:15:22,375 --> 01:15:24,833
‪-去哪裡?
‪-亞特拉斯儲備銀行,他們急了

1254
01:15:26,041 --> 01:15:27,541
‪快啦!

1255
01:15:30,875 --> 01:15:32,333
‪可以快一點嗎?

1256
01:15:36,875 --> 01:15:38,583
‪現在重頭戲來了

1257
01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:42,083
‪同步手動鎖

1258
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:47,916
‪對

1259
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,000
‪這訊號也太囂張了

1260
01:15:59,583 --> 01:16:01,250
‪天啊,歐文,我們懂了

1261
01:16:01,250 --> 01:16:02,541
‪媽的吵死了

1262
01:16:02,541 --> 01:16:06,000
‪告訴妳,這小子要是活著
‪我一定宰了他,媽的鬼

1263
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,875
‪三、二、一,開

1264
01:16:30,083 --> 01:16:31,083
‪拉開吧

1265
01:16:42,791 --> 01:16:46,333
‪不准動,這是搶劫!所有人立刻趴下

1266
01:16:46,958 --> 01:16:48,291
‪搞屁啊?

1267
01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:50,250
‪對不起,我膽小

1268
01:16:50,250 --> 01:16:51,958
‪我不懂怎麼管銀行

1269
01:16:51,958 --> 01:16:54,708
‪我竟然成功了

1270
01:16:54,708 --> 01:16:56,750
‪歐文,你他媽的膽小鬼!

1271
01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,833
‪這下可好,我噴奶了

1272
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,625
‪讚啦!

1273
01:17:15,541 --> 01:17:17,125
‪放開我!

1274
01:17:20,875 --> 01:17:22,083
‪帕克,我來了

1275
01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:27,500
‪不對,徹底失敗

1276
01:17:36,291 --> 01:17:37,458
‪天啊

1277
01:17:39,833 --> 01:17:40,875
‪天啊

1278
01:17:43,666 --> 01:17:45,750
‪好了,美女,出去

1279
01:17:45,750 --> 01:17:49,208
‪所有單位,亞特拉斯儲備銀行遭搶

1280
01:17:49,208 --> 01:17:53,000
‪-我就知道,尼爾,開快點
‪-我開車重視技巧,不重視速度

1281
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:54,750
‪至少開到速限吧

1282
01:17:54,750 --> 01:17:56,750
‪你兒子命在旦夕耶!

1283
01:17:56,750 --> 01:17:58,833
‪-快一點
‪-好,我來了

1284
01:17:58,833 --> 01:18:00,291
‪你允許了吧?

1285
01:18:08,416 --> 01:18:11,958
‪你現在這樣有點丹馬利諾的感覺

1286
01:18:11,958 --> 01:18:12,875
‪丹馬利諾?

1287
01:18:13,833 --> 01:18:15,625
‪我有一次在雜交大會碰到他

1288
01:18:16,375 --> 01:18:18,625
‪你們以為他只有手臂粗嗎?

1289
01:18:18,625 --> 01:18:21,291
‪我不知道,我在車上等

1290
01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:27,541
‪好,緊急逃生開關,每個金庫都有

1291
01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:33,083
‪蓋瑞怎麼會找不到?

1292
01:18:45,708 --> 01:18:49,250
‪表哥,有人預約搶銀行接應司機嗎?

1293
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,416
‪嘿,還好吧?

1294
01:18:52,416 --> 01:18:54,125
‪-搶得怎麼樣?
‪-閉嘴

1295
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:57,875
‪後面有嗎啡,如果想打幾...

1296
01:18:57,875 --> 01:19:00,166
‪-快走吧
‪-好,上路囉!

1297
01:19:00,166 --> 01:19:02,083
‪-快開!
‪-好,沒問題

1298
01:19:20,083 --> 01:19:22,791
‪-是他們嗎?
‪-去後座,我開車

1299
01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:26,250
‪我到後座會暈車,瑪芝去後座吧?

1300
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:28,625
‪我不要,後座都是蛋的味道

1301
01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:30,000
‪快點動啦!

1302
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,750
‪-好啦
‪-好,我來了

1303
01:19:31,750 --> 01:19:34,666
‪-好
‪-開始動了,好

1304
01:19:34,666 --> 01:19:37,708
‪下車走到後座比較快

1305
01:19:37,708 --> 01:19:39,416
‪不會,這樣比較簡單

1306
01:19:39,416 --> 01:19:41,208
‪-不行!
‪-我在動了,我卡太緊了

1307
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,333
‪我堅持到底

1308
01:19:42,333 --> 01:19:45,875
‪所有單位,嫌犯走榆樹街往北逃逸

1309
01:19:45,875 --> 01:19:47,833
‪好,快走,上啊!

1310
01:19:49,833 --> 01:19:51,416
‪天啊

1311
01:19:57,958 --> 01:20:00,333
‪這是我第一次覺得妳漂亮

1312
01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:04,416
‪我本來想在妳爸回心轉意時穿這件

1313
01:20:04,416 --> 01:20:07,375
‪性感又有品味

1314
01:20:07,875 --> 01:20:09,833
‪我看起來像中樂透的毒蟲

1315
01:20:09,833 --> 01:20:12,708
‪要在郵輪上的賭場跟機關槍凱利結婚

1316
01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,083
‪我喜歡機關槍凱利

1317
01:20:15,083 --> 01:20:17,708
‪他有一股細屌的氣勢

1318
01:20:18,916 --> 01:20:21,375
‪我們把錢送來了

1319
01:20:22,708 --> 01:20:23,541
‪賤貨!

1320
01:20:23,541 --> 01:20:27,041
‪總算,他們選的車真有意思

1321
01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:30,750
‪記得給我五顆星好評

1322
01:20:31,958 --> 01:20:32,791
‪優步

1323
01:20:45,666 --> 01:20:46,500
‪沒關係

1324
01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:53,333
‪錢都拿來了,500萬

1325
01:20:55,791 --> 01:20:57,125
‪比利和莉莉呢?

1326
01:20:57,125 --> 01:20:58,875
‪負責引開警察

1327
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,875
‪靠,這個不是音量,抱歉啦...

1328
01:21:05,875 --> 01:21:06,958
‪抱歉,我的錯

1329
01:21:07,625 --> 01:21:11,708
‪帕克,妳好,我是羅哥
‪還記得羅伊鐵板燒嗎?

1330
01:21:12,416 --> 01:21:16,291
‪哇,歐文...你成功了

1331
01:21:16,291 --> 01:21:19,125
‪漂亮,非常好

1332
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:20,875
‪這樣吧

1333
01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:24,291
‪我的債都還清,你們可以走了

1334
01:21:24,833 --> 01:21:28,375
‪這筆錢應該對分,當作結婚禮物

1335
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,750
‪開玩笑的啦

1336
01:21:30,750 --> 01:21:32,416
‪我要把你們兩個做掉

1337
01:21:32,416 --> 01:21:34,500
‪休想,不准動,好嗎?

1338
01:21:34,500 --> 01:21:36,083
‪誰都別輕舉妄動

1339
01:21:36,916 --> 01:21:37,916
‪你死定了

1340
01:21:38,666 --> 01:21:39,500
‪放開她

1341
01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:42,500
‪你好可愛,把槍放下,大男生

1342
01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,375
‪你媽的以為自己在幹嘛?

1343
01:21:45,958 --> 01:21:48,291
‪幹,他們又給我水槍?

1344
01:21:53,750 --> 01:21:56,375
‪-天啊!
‪-我操你媽的!

1345
01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:59,958
‪哇,我表哥是正港殺人犯

1346
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:02,916
‪天啊,帕克

1347
01:22:02,916 --> 01:22:05,208
‪-你還好吧?
‪-帕克,天啊

1348
01:22:05,208 --> 01:22:07,166
‪天啊,帕克,妳還好吧?

1349
01:22:07,166 --> 01:22:08,500
‪-還好
‪-天啊

1350
01:22:11,916 --> 01:22:12,875
‪妳好...

1351
01:22:18,750 --> 01:22:21,000
‪-天啊,怎麼回事?
‪-我不知道

1352
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,333
‪槍上有手汗,我以為是水槍

1353
01:22:23,333 --> 01:22:24,833
‪結果不是,裡面有子彈

1354
01:22:24,833 --> 01:22:25,958
‪-什麼?
‪-搞屁啊?

1355
01:22:25,958 --> 01:22:29,041
‪你們是銀行搶匪?你們騙我一輩子?

1356
01:22:29,041 --> 01:22:32,250
‪寶貝,我們只想保護妳,所以沒見妳

1357
01:22:32,250 --> 01:22:35,000
‪-我們想讓妳安全
‪-那歐文呢?

1358
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:37,333
‪你們拖他下水,要是他被殺呢?

1359
01:22:37,333 --> 01:22:39,291
‪我們叫他別來,他不聽

1360
01:22:40,208 --> 01:22:41,208
‪真的嗎?

1361
01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:44,625
‪妳是我世界上最重要的人,所以...

1362
01:22:47,333 --> 01:22:51,041
‪他很厲害,他做得真的很好

1363
01:22:51,041 --> 01:22:54,125
‪我...慢慢喜歡你了

1364
01:22:54,125 --> 01:22:55,208
‪你很棒

1365
01:22:56,125 --> 01:22:57,125
‪握手

1366
01:22:58,375 --> 01:23:00,583
‪不行,把手拿開

1367
01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:02,125
‪-我們是一家人
‪-什麼?

1368
01:23:03,333 --> 01:23:04,166
‪喂

1369
01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:06,666
‪-我沒伸舌頭
‪-我有

1370
01:23:07,166 --> 01:23:08,416
‪來,好戲上場

1371
01:23:08,416 --> 01:23:10,958
‪我們把全市警察都引來了,快跑

1372
01:23:10,958 --> 01:23:13,208
‪可別在大喜之日坐牢

1373
01:23:13,208 --> 01:23:14,708
‪-快走
‪-我愛妳

1374
01:23:15,250 --> 01:23:16,291
‪開車,快點

1375
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:27,125
‪比利和莉莉麥多摩

1376
01:23:27,125 --> 01:23:29,375
‪我終於抓到你們了

1377
01:23:54,375 --> 01:23:55,708
‪危機結束了嗎?

1378
01:23:56,291 --> 01:23:57,708
‪天啊,你真爛

1379
01:24:06,791 --> 01:24:08,458
‪-艾妲,快點
‪-我在快了

1380
01:24:08,458 --> 01:24:09,875
‪-快點
‪-我在快了

1381
01:24:10,416 --> 01:24:13,375
‪我從事銀行保全業多年

1382
01:24:13,375 --> 01:24:17,041
‪大家不知道重點是防範
‪要眼觀四面,耳聽八方

1383
01:24:17,041 --> 01:24:19,125
‪我洞悉銀行的風吹草動

1384
01:24:19,125 --> 01:24:21,625
‪有人搶銀行,我就得負責

1385
01:24:22,125 --> 01:24:24,291
‪但是我也得找工作,因為我辭了

1386
01:24:30,458 --> 01:24:31,375
‪整到他了

1387
01:24:34,958 --> 01:24:38,375
‪-她有過敏反應!
‪-這支湯匙含鎳嗎?

1388
01:24:38,375 --> 01:24:40,750
‪-大概漏掉一個
‪-她不會有事的

1389
01:24:40,750 --> 01:24:42,750
‪別擔心,大家冷靜,交給我

1390
01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:48,625
‪對,我不是英雄,只是個急救員

1391
01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:51,916
‪靠,這個沒用

1392
01:24:51,916 --> 01:24:53,500
‪可是妳打疫苗了

1393
01:24:54,083 --> 01:24:56,000
‪-我馬上回來
‪-琳達阿姨...

1394
01:25:01,583 --> 01:25:02,916
‪老公

1395
01:25:02,916 --> 01:25:04,541
‪老婆,什麼事?

1396
01:25:05,208 --> 01:25:06,083
‪謝謝

1397
01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:10,875
‪謝謝你做了這麼多,這個禮拜...好忙

1398
01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:13,291
‪不客氣

1399
01:25:17,125 --> 01:25:18,875
‪-我愛你
‪-我愛妳

1400
01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:21,500
‪現在,各位先生女士

1401
01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:24,833
‪第一次用夫妻身分出現的

1402
01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:30,416
‪歐文白朗寧和帕克白朗寧夫婦!

1403
01:25:35,208 --> 01:25:36,375
‪你好帥

1404
01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:44,083
‪你們怎麼來了?

1405
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:46,791
‪坐牢這種簡單小事哪能讓我

1406
01:25:46,791 --> 01:25:48,916
‪不出席女兒的婚禮?

1407
01:25:48,916 --> 01:25:50,208
‪你們逃獄了?

1408
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:54,708
‪他們可以跳一支舞,吃一塊蛋糕

1409
01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:56,458
‪我們談好條件

1410
01:25:56,458 --> 01:26:00,000
‪我們認罪,然後幫他找出一個老朋友

1411
01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:02,458
‪-這位就是雪若?
‪-對啊

1412
01:26:04,291 --> 01:26:05,125
‪願意賞光嗎?

1413
01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,416
‪當然可以

1414
01:26:07,458 --> 01:26:10,625
‪帥哥,來媽媽這裡
‪讓他們見識什麼叫跳舞

1415
01:26:10,625 --> 01:26:11,541
‪遵命

1416
01:26:11,541 --> 01:26:12,958
‪我好替他高興

1417
01:26:12,958 --> 01:26:13,875
‪我也是

1418
01:26:14,750 --> 01:26:16,083
‪-坐牢耶
‪-這個嘛...

1419
01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:18,541
‪好吧,但他們出席算有誠意了

1420
01:26:37,250 --> 01:26:38,083
‪等一下

1421
01:26:39,541 --> 01:26:43,666
‪好耶,今晚大家都要懷孕喔!

1422
01:26:58,625 --> 01:27:00,833
‪他們前幾天搶我們銀行

1423
01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:04,000
‪拿槍挾持我,真是莫名其妙

1424
01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:20,041
‪我為你特別切了這一塊

1425
01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:23,333
‪歐文,謝謝你這麼貼心

1426
01:27:24,166 --> 01:27:25,291
‪小心別咬壞牙齒

1427
01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:28,166
‪好孩子

1428
01:27:28,750 --> 01:27:30,250
‪因為裡面有東西

1429
01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:32,291
‪-我們懂,沒事的
‪-好

1430
01:27:32,291 --> 01:27:34,291
‪-是迴紋針
‪-好

1431
01:27:34,291 --> 01:27:36,666
‪-我鑰匙留在車上
‪-閉嘴

1432
01:27:36,666 --> 01:27:38,750
‪-我懂了
‪-好,盡情享受

1433
01:27:39,250 --> 01:27:40,333
‪咬一口

1434
01:27:44,458 --> 01:27:45,458
‪開始吧

1435
01:35:15,208 --> 01:35:20,208
‪字幕翻譯:溫鳳祺