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Oh, yes, oh yes, that's lovely.
Thank you Mr Pheasant.
Oh, ha! Hello! (CHUCKLES)
I didn't see you there.
Do you fancy a shot of Absinthe?
Or a bit of mother's ruin?
No?
Well, make yourself comfortable
because I have a creepy story to tell you,
about a monster
fighting to become the master of its own destiny.
It all started in 1888
when Jack the Ripper
was roaming the streets of London.
(SCREAMING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
At that very same moment, a woman was about to give birth to a child
who would rewrite the story of monsters...
..and men.
(GROANING) But of whom should she be more frightened?
The baby inside her or the supposed doctor
poised to deliver it.
Oh please, take that away from me.
No, please, please, not me. Not me.
Don't worry my dear this won't hurt a little bit...
..it will hurt...
..a lot.
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING) (SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCOFFS)
It's time.
Oh! I think it's coming.
It's coming!(LAUGHING) I don't want it in me.
Help me!
(ROARING)
(SQUELCHING)Ah!
(MOANING)
Oh.
What is it?
What is it?!
(CRYING)
What is it?
(DOOR OPENS)
Fuck.
(CRYING)
I told you not to have that baby.
Fuck!
If you'd like my professional opinion,
I think you should flush him down the shitter.
(LAUGHING)
#He's a beautiful monster, you can't put him down
ALL: # He's a monster, he'll be the talk of the town
#Though he's only a baby, I don't him around
# Then let's bury him down where he can't be found
#Beautiful monster, you can't put him down
# He's a monster, a monster, a grotesque clown!
#Though he's only a baby, I don't want him around
# Then send him to live in the Devil's Playground #
(LAUGHING)
(CRYING) (LAUGHING)
The man who delivered the monster baby that night was no doctor,
but an infiltrator, he was in fact the evil impresario
of The Devil's Playground,
a struggling freak show whose fortunes he was trying to revive.
(DOOR SLAMS) Known as The Master,
he was an infamous sorcerer with a sadistic streak.
You know we could never take care of that fucking child.
He's not of our world.
(I don't know what to do).
You've made your choice.
There's no turning back now.
The child is mine.
And your souls are too.
(WHIMPERING)
Jailer, take them down.
Yes Master.
Right, you two come here.
Out!
Who's an ugly little bastard then?
(LAUGHING)
(SCREECHING)
(LAUGHING)
Fucking cry!
(CRYING)
V/O: There was fear in this city of monsters,
but one woman saw beauty where others saw only the grotesque.
Read all about it! Read all about it!
Lucy Baxter was her name.
The Master will show off his newest exhibit!
A grotesque monster baby!
Ogle it with your own eyes tonight at the Devil's Playground.
Look James, what's this?
A 'monster baby!'
He's not an abomination, he sounds perfect to me,
like one of us.Yes.
He may be in peril. We must go to him.Yes.
Now.Now.
Read all about it!
(CURTAIN SWOOSHING)
Ladies...
..and Gentlemen.
Look into my eyes.
Kalima.
Ombida!
Lazora!
(CLOMPS)
Right, my spell-bound cretins.
Tonight you have paid to witness
one of the most astonishing sights
ever exhibited in Londinium!
Behold.
Revel in the grotesque.
The prize... in my collection.
It's...
.. Showtime!
(CRYING) (GASPING)
What is that?
'It's a freak!'
'It's the Devil's child'.
(CRYING)
(SHRIEKING) (GASPING)
(GROANING)
How is this child controlling me?
Poor child.
'No!'What have they done?
Look James, the Devil's line, just like you.
But, we call it the Line of Kings.
'That is my monster baby!'
(SHRIEKING) (SCREAMING)
I will find you.
I will hunt you down!
(SHOUTING) (HISSING)
You will be my monster child.
I will call you Otto.
(HUMMING)
Lucy raised the monster as her own.
And in time rescued more.
But Otto was... special.
16 years passed,
but the Master never gave up his promise to capture him.
For he knew that Otto was in possession of powers,
powers that would reach full strength when he came of age.
Lucy had faced battles at every turn trying to keep her child safe.
And on that day, when the sun was to rise,
it would be Otto's 16th birthday,
and everything would change.
MUSIC: "Happy Birthday To You".
Surprise!
Happy birthday, Otto!
Happy birthday.
Are my birth parents going to the party?
Have they sent a present?
I'm sorry Otto.
Your birth parents have never remembered your birthday.
They have a new family now.
Two daughters.
But we're your family, Otto, and we love you.
Look, why don't you open a present?
Let's start with a big one.
Oh?
I don't remember wrapping that one.
(GASPING)
(COUGHING)
(SQUELCHING)
What's that in his mouth?
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
Did you think you could get away from me?
Well, you can't.
One day your powers will finally be mine.
Who is this from?
What powers?
I don't have any powers.
Otto.
I knew the day would come
that I'd have to tell you about The Master.
I won't be around forever.
#Ever since you came along he's lusted after your powers
#Planned and plotted twisted schemes for hours and hours
#It's taken me all my time to protect you to this day
#Even in our happiest moments he was never far away
BOTH: # He's The Master,
# he's here at our door.
#He's The Master
#I can't keep you safe anymore.
OTTO: #He's the soul-taker, sucking the life out of me
#He's a control-taker,
#feeding on my fears.
#Did you really think that you could get away from me?
#The jewel in my collection,
#the finest of all freaks
#This devil will suck your soul,
#just you wait and see
#Did you really think you could get away from me?
#It's time you took control of your own destiny
#Decide what kind of man you really want to be
#You're 16 now it's time to fight to set yourself free
#Find your power and claim the life you want to lead.
BOTH: # He's The Master,
# he's here at our door
# He's The Master.
#I can't keep you safe anymore
#He's a soul-taker,
#suck the life out of me
#He's a control-taker,
#he's everything I want to be.#
(GROANS)
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
(BANGING)
(BUBBLING)
In the days that followed, Otto tried to live on as normal.
Excuse me, Mr McManners.
Can you help me?
(GROWLS)
(PANTING)
You-you're not Mr McManners. It's The Master!
My little monster boy!
The lights are on but there's nobody home.
Here's the deal, you hideous little moron.
Answer this equation correctly
and I'll let you go.
I'm lying of course.
You're mine now and you'll never go home.
(CHUCKLING)
(CHORTLING)
(CHALK SCRATCHING)
(CHUCKLING)
(CHORTLING)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS) (GRUNTS)
Finally!
I've been locked in here for 500 fuckin' years.
What took you so fucking long
me old mate?
Mate?
I've never had a friend before.
I'm scared of the teacher.
Can you help me with my work?
Bollocks to that!
Stick with your old mate Jamie.
Let's go, now,
and cause some chaos instead. Go!
(CHUCKLES)
Sir, sir the monster boy's escaping.
(GROANING)
Insolence.
(PANTING)
Jamie, I'm so scared,
I think, I need to move my bowels.
But...
..I can't see a lavatory.
Don't worry about it.
Just pull down your fucking bloomers and crap anywhere you want.
What do people already think of you?
Oh, poor, stupid little monster!
Exactly.
Wouldn't make them think any the less of you.
(CHALK SCRATCHING)
(FARTS)
'Oi!'(WOOD TAPPING)
Who said that?
'It's me down here. Ebenezer.
'Stop taking a shit on my grave I'm trying to sleep.
'Have some respect for the dead!'
(WHEEL SQUEAKING)
(TWIG SNAPPING)
(CROW CRAWING)
Hurry up! Pull up your fucking breeches.
It's the fucking Master!
(GROANS)
Oh gracious!
Have you got that hell-born cretin The Master after you?
That's bad.
Looks like I'll be digging your grave tonight.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(SQUELCHING)
(SPITTING)
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
You're a spunky monkey.
(PANTING)
(DOOR CREAKS)
(PANTING)
Thank fuck for that.
I think we've lost the fucking Master.
He's a fucking piece of work, isn't he?
He seems so... evil.
So powerful.
Maybe power makes you evil.
Right, whatever.
Get the drinks in!
(SIGHS)
Can I have a whisky please?
Oh, and a pint for the dummy.
Your mate with the horns, he's not allowed in the pub.
(GRUNTS)
Here, would he like a lollipop?
No.
I'll get the drinks.
You go over there and lick a window.
Otto, where have you been?
I've been looking for you all over Victorian London.
I'm so worried.
I'm not sure the world is ready for you yet.
Oh, mum!Maybe you still need me.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Mum!
No!
Say something!
I love you.
(CRYING)
(DOOR OPENS)
You're mine, now, boy.
(GROANS)Come on!No!
It'll take more than that hideous little moron
to save your fucking arse.
(LAUGHING)
(DOOR OPENS)
These fucking freaks today.
(HUMMING)
#Drag in the bodies#.
(GROANING)
Look who it is.
(CLANKING)Mummy and Daddy!
(GIGGLING)
You-you're my parents?
You are not my family.
(SOBBING)
We had no choice.
He tricked us.
But it's too late.
We serve the Master now.
Leave him.
No kisses and cuddles for Otto then.
He's not worth it.
No!
(CHORTLING)
Boo fucking hoo!
That was a touching family reunion, wasn't it?
(LAUGHING)
At last...
(DOOR CLANKS)
..my collection is complete.
Deep down, you know the truth boy.
(CREAKING)
I have studied your kind... yes.
But you... you my friend are special.
(CHUCKLES)
Ever since that night when your scream
forced me to my knees, I realised that you have...
..extraordinary powers.
(SHATTERING)
Paranormal... the power to speak to the dead.
Possession... the power to control people's minds.
And Twisted...(GROANS)
..the power to be more evil than anyone who has ever lived!
(LAUGHING)
(CHUCKLING)
I will feed on you, boy.
Through your line of keens.
Your body will age but you will never reach maturity.
And your power shall be mine.
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GROANING)
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
I will keep you here as a child.
Because as a child,
you are no threat to me.
(GROANS)
Sleep well.
And cheer up.
It could be worse.
I'm lying!(CLANKS)
It couldn't be fucking worse!
(CRYING) (LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(CREAKING)
(SOBBING)
(SHRIEKING)
#Bring out the bodies#
(HUMMING)
#Bring out the bodies#
(HUMMING)
#Bring out the bodies#
(KEYS CLANKING)
(DOOR CREAKS)
#Bring out the bodies#
(HUMMING)
Good morning, Otto.
Thanks for joining me for breakfast.
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GROANING)
(LAUGHING)
That was absolutely delicious.
Look forward to lunching together.
Oh, forgot to ask.
Are you busy for supper?
It's a date then!
(CHUCKLING)
One more thing.
Fuck you!
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
(SCRATCHING)
But on this day, a familiar face had come to work for the Master.
(CHUCKLING)
(LOCK CLICKS)
You look fucking terrible me-old-pal.
You need to conserve a bit of energy.
M-hm?
Can I give you a hand?
(CHUCKLING)
Good morning Otto, and what a beautiful morning it is.
(LOCK CLICKS)
Bon Appetite to me.
The Master was too confident, too secure in his new powers
to notice that his captive's hand was not real,
no longer nourishing his evil soul.
Give me more boy, why isn't it working?
Why isn't it working?!(PANTING)
Sort yourself out.
I'll be back in an hour.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Fuck!
Who left the cell open?
Over the coming days,
Otto continued to deny the Master the power he so craved.
You better have something for me today, boy.
The old man couldn't fathom why he grew weaker and weaker.
Give me what I need.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
All the while Otto was transforming into the man
he was destined to become.
As he grew stronger, Otto remembered the first of his true powers,
Paranormal, the ability to talk to the dead.
And he knew who he needed to reach.
Lucy?
Lucy.
'Otto? I knew you would find me.
'You have discovered your first power'.
Lucy. Can you get me out of here?
Who the fuck are you talking to?
No Otto, you don't need me.
Remember your second power, Possession.
Possess the Master.
(RUMBLING)
What's happening?
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
What's happening?(GROANS)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
Why are you doing this?
(ROARS)
Right, you fucker!
(ROARING)
I'm pulling the strings now!
You will dance for me.(GROANS)
No. Please.
(GROANING)
(YELLING)
(ROARING)
Do you feel fucking thirsty?
Please, it's very, very poisonous.
Last orders at the bar.
(GRUNTING)
(GUZZLING)
(RETCHING)
(CHOKING)
I'm the fucking master now!
(WHIMPERING)
No, please.
No.
Time to get killed.
No!
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING) (GROANING)
(CHOKING)
LUCY:'Otto! You have done it.
'You have discovered your first two powers.
'But do not use your third'.
Twisted.
The power to be cruelly evil!
Yes.
Otto, do not use this power.
Will you promise me you won't use it?
Will you look after your brothers?
(FINGERS TAPPING)
(DOOR OPENS)I'm home!
Otto!We miss you.
(LAUGHING)
Oh! It's the witching hour!
(DOOR KNOCKING)
That was a bit fucking early.
Who's that at the door?
Hello darling.
You're so powerful.
I can't resist you!
Who can?
Let's have some fun.
Please.
Right, you lot. Out!
ALL: 'What?'Sling your hook.
You are my bro!
You've changed.
Where can we go?
I'll tell you where to go.
I heard there is a cell at the Puppet Asylum, alright?(GASPS)
(SIGHING)
Go on, and fuck off!
Wanker.Fuck off!
(LAUGHING)
And now, let's have a bit of fun.
(BULB POPS)
Well my friends, this story may sound like a fantasy,
like a gothic fable from the annals of hell.
But, oh jeez, just hang on a second.
Otto?Yeah?
You sure you want to end like this?
Shouldn't the woman love you for being you?
I don't care, I just fancy her.
Yeah, right. Okay.
And just one more question about the brothers?
Are you sure you want to kick them out?
I'm the fucking director.
I want to be evil.
And, I want some fucking power.
Oh.
Oh yeah, well, fair enough.
And so ends our story, a triumph of evil over evil.
Not the ending you were expecting? Me neither.
But...
..that's how life is sometimes.
I'll leave it for you to decide how much of it was true.
Sleep well.
Oh God, this collar is tight, Otto.
(GROANS) You fancy a cup of tea?
Yes, please.
Alright.
How many sugars?
(CLAPPING)Two please.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
And cut!
(THEME MUSIC)
You're a spunky monkey!
'Cut!'(CHEERING)
And, action!
(CHUCKLING)
(CLAPPING)
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