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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
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A little help would be nice.
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Moving on out.
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Looks like it's Splitsville
from the West Village
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for Lindsay Lohan and her latest beau,
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bad boy rocker, Rocky Rakovia.
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Townhouse Confidential
has learned that little Lindsey
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has grown teary-eyed over
the construction going on
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in front of her rented townhouse
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and put in an offer
on a Hudson Yards penthouse
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with a floor to ceiling river view.
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Her new digs come complete with
an indoor pool, an outdoor pool,
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an equinox gym, and, get this,
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luxury barrel saunas for two.
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With amenities like that,
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how can a West Village
townhouse hope to compete?
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Oh, Sophie, why didn't you text me
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and let me know you were coming?
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Next time, remind me to take an Uber.
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So, you finally
found us a new tenant, Sophie.
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It's about time.
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Making money while you sleep sure does
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beat working for a living.
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You call that working?
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Hooking up with middle aged hedge funders
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that you meet at the gym
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while I slave away icing
cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery?
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Well, at least
I make more than minimum wage
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working as a personal trainer.
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Girls, girls, please.
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I finally found a tenant
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for your precious garden apartment.
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And not just any tenant.
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He's 32, runs his own
venture capital fund,
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00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,884
and rakes in more than
half a million a year.
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00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,954
And best of all, he's single.
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Never married, no kids, no pets.
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That means he's probably gay.
Or bankrupt. Or both.
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Have you checked him
out on deadbeatnants.com?
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00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,131
Oh, Lizzie, do you have to be
so cynical all the time?
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Maybe he's got a friend for you, too.
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Oh, come on. He might be just--
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Can't a girl get a minute's peace
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to blog in this house?
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You do realize that the Huffington Post
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just named
Townhouse Confidential--
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One of the 100 best
new real estate blogs to watch.
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Yes, Mary, we know.
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And now we just wait
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for all those advertising
dollars to roll in.
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Okay, girls,
I'll bring him around
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for your inspection tomorrow.
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But if there's
a marriage comes out of this,
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I expect an invitation to the wedding.
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You are the boss, Sophie.
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You have no idea.
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Thank you so much
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00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,012
for coming, everyone, thank you.
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00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:06,947
Thank you very much.
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00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,549
As most of you know,
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00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,718
my family has maintained
a dominant presence
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00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:14,588
in West Village real estate
for nearly two centuries.
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00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,891
Our new master plan,
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00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:22,262
which we will execute
with $100 million in bank loans
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00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,631
and investor capital,
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00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:27,234
will remake the face of the West Village.
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00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,604
Affording the world's elite
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00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,007
the opportunity to own entire blocks
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00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,677
of luxury townhouse properties
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00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,079
where they can live, work.
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00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,848
Did you know that from the moment
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00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,150
I brought Georgie home
from St. Vincent's Hospital,
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00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,454
he could already point
out a lintel from his stroller?
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And by age seven, he knew the difference
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between a federal style
townhouse and a Greek Revival.
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More into it.
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00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,095
Now, as you can see in the shaded area,
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00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,065
Barrow Ventures has holdings on Charles,
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Perry, Bank Street,
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00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:04,204
as well as 50 other
luxury townhouse properties.
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00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,643
Not to worry.
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00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,380
Girls are always fainting
at Georgie's presentations.
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That's why we always have
a couple of paramedics on hand.
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00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,017
Boys.
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00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,986
Thank you, boys.
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00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,524
She's fine. She's fine.
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00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,760
Any questions?
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00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,496
Yes.
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00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,565
But what about the Landmarks
Preservation Commission?
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00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,934
Won't the city's preservationists object
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00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:38,439
to your turning the West Village
into a hedge funder Disneyland?
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00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,412
The deal is in the bag.
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00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,447
Everyone from the mayor on down
95
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,181
has already signed off on the project.
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00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,819
Trust me, this baby is shovel ready.
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00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,021
But what if some of the townhouse owners
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00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,489
refuse to sell?
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00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,890
Got it covered.
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00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,926
We've hired the top brokers
in the West Village
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00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,828
to canvas the homeowners.
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00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,063
Everyone has agreed to sell
to our development company
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00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,798
once we close on the financing.
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00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,767
Mr. Barrow, one more question.
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00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,637
So, I think the presentation
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00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,739
went very well today.
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00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,074
Such a pity your father
wasn't there to see it.
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00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,143
He would have been so proud.
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00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,245
I missed Dad too, Mother,
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00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,548
but it's been ten years
since he passed away.
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I'm sure he would have
wanted us to move on.
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00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,085
And so we are,
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00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,055
by creating a townhouse empire
in the West Village
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00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,659
that'll make the Barrow
family name burn even brighter.
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00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:36,430
And perhaps one day,
by continuing the Barrow legacy
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00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,131
into the seventh generation.
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00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,934
- Here we go again.
- You know, Diana's daughter,
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00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,703
Amy, was in the audience today.
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00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,273
Goldman real estate analyst,
Wharton MBA.
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00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,408
I saw the way she was looking at you.
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00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,877
Please don't start.
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00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,680
George, you're not getting any younger.
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00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,281
Why, when your father was your age--
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00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,517
He was married with a baby and a mortgage.
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00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,920
Yes, Mother.
I know, but I'm 32 and single.
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00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,989
I have more mortgages than I can count.
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00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,927
I'm so busy building this business,
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00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,462
I barely have time for a girlfriend,
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00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:09,863
let alone a wife and kid.
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00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:13,834
George, every girl
I've ever introduced you to
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has been wrong.
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00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,070
Too thin, too fat.
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00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,606
Too smart. Not smart enough.
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00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,741
Wrong school, wrong zip code.
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00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,943
I'm beginning to think that maybe
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00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,178
you're not interested in girls at all.
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00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,916
What are you trying to say, Mother?
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00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,985
All I want is a little grandbaby
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00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,922
I can pop in a stroller
and push around the West Village
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00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,357
to teach the ABCs
of bricks and brownstones.
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00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,326
Is that too much to ask?
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00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,995
Mother, we're done here.
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00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,864
I'm off to a business meeting.
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00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,733
- What?
- Don't wait up.
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00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,371
What are you gettin'?
146
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,173
I don't know.
How about you?
147
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,475
Think I'm gonna
go for a pastrami, no mustard.
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00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,679
Sal, you gotta watch your gluten, Sal.
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00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,814
Yeah, but I like food with gluten.
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00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,482
All right.
Good. Oh, here he is.
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00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,288
How are you doing, Mr. Barrow?
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00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,624
Sal Carmine, Long Island
Mortgage and Title.
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00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,760
This is my associate, Big Sal.
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00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,461
Nice to meet you, Mr. Barrow.
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00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,063
Very nice to meet you, gentlemen.
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00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,598
Have a seat.
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00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,701
Thank you for coming today.
I appreciate you.
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00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,303
So, Big Sal...
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00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,506
looks like the two of you
are exactly the same height.
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00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,509
We get that a lot, actually.
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00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,845
But I'm 5'6, he's 5'7.
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00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,513
That's why they call him Big Sal.
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00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,683
Listen, guys,
I'm a little pressed for time.
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00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,885
What have you got for me?
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00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,219
Well, unfortunately, Georgie,
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00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,654
the pickings were pretty slim.
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00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,824
Your family owns 50 townhouses
in the West Village,
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00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,859
but you drain most of your equity.
169
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,895
And your credit lines,
they're pretty tight.
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00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,397
The only bank that's willing
to give you a bridge loan
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00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,666
to finance your deal until it closes
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00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,868
is the Hudson River Bank
out of Westchester.
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00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,203
Hudson River Bank.
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00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,773
I thought they were
a front for the Russian mob.
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00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,243
Doesn't a certain
bankrupt real estate developer
176
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,746
from Queens borrow money there?
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00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,515
I heard he got into politics
just to pay his bills.
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00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,850
Those guys are tough.
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00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,252
What's the rate?
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00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,188
8.5% and five points at closing.
181
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,158
- Cheap.
- With fed funds at next to zero?
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00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,493
Why, that's practically usury.
183
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,095
You want that
half a million dollars or not?
184
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,097
Half a million?
185
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,601
I told you I needed a million
dollars to close the deal.
186
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,070
Well, that's why
I brought Big Sal over here.
187
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,972
He's like a brother from another mother.
188
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:35,876
Let's just say he has access
to some creative financing.
189
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,278
You gotta be kidding me.
190
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,214
Listen, listen, listen,
it's a new thing we're trying.
191
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,216
It's called financing.
192
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,285
We charge lower rates
than the Russian mob.
193
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,420
And what the IRS don't know...
194
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,023
won't hurt 'em.
195
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,297
So...
196
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,300
What kind of collateral
are you looking for?
197
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,403
Do you need a personal guarantee?
198
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,639
Nothing, nothing.
Just your word of honor.
199
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,574
And a promise that you do the right thing.
200
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,279
Well, what happens if the deal falls apart
201
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,781
and I can't pay you back?
202
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,315
Go home and watch The Godfather.
203
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,750
You get the idea.
204
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,252
Or maybe
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
205
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,590
Pleasure doing business with you guys.
206
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,633
Oh, coming.
207
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,335
Put your foot down.
208
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,842
- Welcome. Come in.
- Hi, girls.
209
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,610
Look who I brought with me.
210
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:47,114
Meet Jonathan Grove, your new tenant.
211
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,648
It's a pleasure to meet you.
212
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,117
And his friend
213
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,920
and real estate advisor,
George Barrow.
214
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,621
Mr. Barrow. Pleasure.
215
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,123
You as well.
216
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,125
- What a lovely home.
- Oh, thank you.
217
00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,927
How is your plan coming along to turn
218
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,396
the West Village into
a hedge funder's Disneyland?
219
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,800
Very well, thank you.
220
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,203
George and Jonathan
were roommates at Columbia.
221
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,505
Now, Jonathan has returned to New York
222
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,842
to start his own venture capital fund.
223
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,477
Wow. Welcome back.
Shall we sign the lease?
224
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,646
- Yes!
- Yes, please.
225
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,686
This is where you sign,
Jonathan, to start your new life
226
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:30,057
in the historic and charming West Village.
227
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,658
Uh, not so fast, my friend.
228
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,560
Before we sign the lease,
229
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,397
let's go downstairs and do a walkthrough.
230
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,633
You know, I normally
make my own decisions,
231
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,103
at least when it comes
to investing in startups,
232
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,905
but he's the townhouse expert.
233
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,239
I'm just the money guy.
234
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,841
Indeed.
235
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,577
Come on, let's go.
236
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,383
Welcome to your new home, Jonathan.
237
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,619
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,588
And the--
So the couch and the table,
239
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,156
they come with the apartment?
240
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,591
They can if you'd like them to say.
241
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,959
Great. Okay.
242
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,194
Does this outlet work?
243
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,728
Uh, yes, they all work.
244
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,230
I checked them myself.
245
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,865
You see how spacious it is?
246
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,700
Oh, my God.
I didn't see back there, wow.
247
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,503
- Let's take a look.
- Scuff marks on the wall.
248
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,772
Easy to fix.
249
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,040
Do you have another light bulb?
250
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,408
Of course.
251
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,679
Paint's a bit peeling.
We'll need some drywall repair.
252
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:27,915
Absolutely.
253
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,290
You're gonna have to handle this.
254
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,027
Consider it handled.
255
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,096
Print out this email,
256
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,898
attach it to the lease as a rider,
257
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,934
and Jonathan will sign it.
258
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,202
Personally, I think the place
is charming just the way it is.
259
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,839
Well, I'll look for your email.
260
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,074
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
261
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,976
Really excited for this.
This is awesome.
262
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,444
Thank you. Good.
263
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,982
Girls, you got yourself a tenant.
264
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,917
Do you have any idea how much
265
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,718
all those repairs are going to cost us?
266
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,821
We need every cent of
Jonathan's first month rent
267
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,923
and security deposit to pay
for the mortgage and the taxes.
268
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,558
Wait, I have an idea.
269
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,393
I will take him down to the Little Branch,
270
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,963
I'll get him wasted,
introduce him to some girls,
271
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,031
he'll forget all about the stupid repairs.
272
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,069
Plus, we all know a handyman
who'll do the work for cheap.
273
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,780
On time with 30 seconds to spare.
274
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,651
Tommy boy, you still close out
the bars and pick up the chicks.
275
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,888
Mm.
276
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,803
Hey, Tommy.
277
00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,307
How you been?
Haven't seen you around lately.
278
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,309
Hey, babe. What's going on?
279
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,911
Babe?
280
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,148
You don't remember my name, do you?
281
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,183
Sure, but of course I do.
It's uh...
282
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,751
Starts with a K.
283
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,022
I let you crash
at my place for three weeks
284
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,556
because you couldn't pay rent.
285
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:20,093
Kaitlyn! Kristen? You're uh--
286
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,163
The top floor apartment
on Laker and 11th street
287
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,065
above Magnolia Bakery,
where we literally did it--
288
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,935
Kathleen! Oh, sorry, baby.
289
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,903
I was still a little hungover
after the last night.
290
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,872
- I missed you, baby.
- You know what?
291
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,108
Go fuck yourself, Tommy.
292
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,210
You're a total man whore.
293
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,191
God damn George Barrow.
294
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,759
Why did send me here?
295
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,427
He knows how much
I hate that guy.
296
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,797
Oh, hey, baby. You new in town?
297
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,610
"To our sweet tenant, Jonathan.
298
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:16,849
"May this little box of treats
sweeten your stay in our home."
299
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,289
Hey, Lizzie.
300
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,258
Got your text saying something
down here needs fixing.
301
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,727
You said it was urgent.
302
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,296
Yes, Tommy.
303
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,930
We have a new tenant moving in on Monday
304
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,565
and we have a whole punch list of things
305
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:33,866
that we need to fix before then.
306
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,103
Really? Like what?
307
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,273
The place looks like it's still
in, uh, pretty decent shape,
308
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,574
as far as I can remember,
309
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,976
Last time I was here...
310
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,713
I'll admit, it was pretty dark.
311
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,083
So you do realize that my sisters and I,
312
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,751
we don't make a lot of money.
313
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,088
Yeah, the poor little rich girls
314
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,723
live in a townhouse, make minimum wage.
315
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,325
Yeah, I've heard the stories.
316
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,327
So how much do you think
you're going to charge me
317
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,961
to fix everything on this punch list?
318
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,564
Plus slap on a fresh coat
of paint, of course.
319
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:08,168
I was thinking maybe $500.
320
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,072
What's in the box?
321
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,174
Oh, no, Tommy,
those cupcakes aren't for you.
322
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,043
They're a housewarming present
for Jonathan.
323
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,078
He's coming by later to pick up his keys.
324
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,762
He won't miss just one, right?
325
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,330
No. Tommy, don't.
326
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,269
Yummy.
327
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,704
Tommy, I said no.
328
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,673
You sure, Lizzie?
329
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,542
Because on New Year's, as I recall,
330
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,345
that "no" quickly turned into
331
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,748
a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
332
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,051
Yes! Yes! Yes!
333
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,920
Tommy, Tommy,
Tommy, Tommy, stop!
334
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,423
- Put down that cupcake or--
- Or you'll what?
335
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,892
Run to the sixth precinct
and get an order of protection?
336
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,761
Cops can't protect you
from your own appetites, Lizzie.
337
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,064
You have no idea how hard it is.
338
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,767
Every day at work,
being surrounded by cupcakes
339
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,538
and frosting and banana cream pudding,
340
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,207
always having to be the good girl,
341
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,075
- always having to say no.
- Why?
342
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,743
'Cause you're waiting
for the day Prince Charming
343
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,578
walks in with your glass slipper?
344
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,348
You know what you want,
Liz Perry.
345
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,551
Just relax and enjoy it.
346
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,157
Oh, my God.
347
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,701
This is really good.
348
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,172
It's, uh-- it's been a while.
349
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,043
Give me 1,000 bucks.
I'll start tomorrow.
350
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,782
Elizabeth Perry, the girl
who can't resist a cupcake.
351
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,051
Who would have thought?
352
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,022
Bye.
353
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,603
Hi. I'm looking for Lydia Perry.
354
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,705
Oh, hey, I'm Lydia Perry.
355
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,774
I'm your personal trainer.
356
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,143
Hi, Jim Bedford.
Good to meet you.
357
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,179
So, what brings you to the gym, Jim?
358
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,381
It wasn't really my idea to come here.
359
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,484
Usually the only thing
I exercise is my fingers.
360
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,286
It's typical of most guys.
361
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,789
No, I didn't mean it like that.
362
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,857
I'm-- I'm a software developer,
363
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,827
so I just, you know, spend most
of my time just writing code,
364
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,729
just banging away at the keyboard.
365
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,964
So you enjoy banging, too?
366
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,767
No, hold on, hold on.
367
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,569
No-- What I mean is,
368
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,639
I'm the CEO of a social media startup,
369
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,274
and I'm going on a road show next month
370
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:02,942
to raise money from investors.
371
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,811
So the VCs thought it would be a good idea
372
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,280
for me to get in shape before, you know,
373
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,316
I collapse in an airport and die.
374
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,017
Wow, social media,
375
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,553
roadshow, investors.
376
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,388
What does your company do?
377
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:19,025
Well, we developed
an app called Chick Stalkers,
378
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,628
which lets guys rate
other guys ex-girlfriends
379
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,663
by swiping left or right on their phones.
380
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,832
Consumers use it for free,
and we make money
381
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,133
by selling the data that we gathered
382
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,635
to porn sites and the NSA.
383
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,870
I'll have to check it out.
384
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,972
In the meantime, why don't you go ahead
385
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,242
and hop on the treadmill
so I can check you out.
386
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,809
See what kind of shape you're in?
387
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,678
- Okay.
- Yep. Right over there.
388
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,010
Now, we're gonna head that way.
389
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,047
Wow. I'm impressed.
390
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,083
Did you play sports in college?
391
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,421
Well, I-- I played lacrosse at NYU,
392
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,256
but we were only division three.
393
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,891
Truth be told,
I spent most of my time
394
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,058
warming the bench.
395
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,994
Writing code, I suspect.
396
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,763
Yeah, actually.
I had a teammate. Oh.
397
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,632
He got dumped by this girl with huge tits,
398
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,634
and he dared me to write a program
399
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,103
where I ranked all the girls
at NYU based on their cup size.
400
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,238
It's actually where I got
the idea for Chick Stalkers.
401
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,774
- Cool.
- Yeah.
402
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,277
The only problem we're having
is getting girls to use it.
403
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,279
- Really?
- You know what?
404
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,448
I would actually love
a woman's point of view.
405
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,917
All of our developers
are just horny nerds.
406
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,955
Well, I will definitely
check out your app, Jim Bedford.
407
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,591
See you back here next week.
408
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,602
Oh, bathroom. Yeah.
409
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,817
Guess who I just met at the gym.
410
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,388
Mary.
411
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,457
Mary, I know you're in there
412
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,492
because you never go anywhere
and you don't have a life.
413
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,462
Go away, Lydia.
I'm on deadline with my blog.
414
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,268
So I went to the gym, and I met this guy
415
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,103
who was also named Jim and he's the CEO
416
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:45,738
of this company called--
417
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:51,177
"Lindsay dumps boyfriend
to shack up with dad?"
418
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,479
Total clickbait.
419
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,115
Lindsay Lohan checking out townhouses
420
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:59,919
"in the 10014 with
super broker Kathryn Waverly.
421
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,254
"Sources close to the former
West Village resident
422
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:05,057
"tell Townhouse Confidential,
blah, blah, blah."
423
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,159
If I post it now,
I can scoop page six
424
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,529
and the New York Times
real estate section.
425
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,898
Who gave you that tip?
426
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,766
One of the addicts
that hangs out on the stoop?
427
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,167
How do you even know it's true?
428
00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,137
I'm a journalist.
I don't reveal my sources.
429
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,606
You'd have more sources
430
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,340
if you left the house once in a while.
431
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,643
I pick out more information
at the gym every day
432
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,879
than you ever will through
your network of street people.
433
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,048
Anyway, good luck.
434
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,450
I'm out of here.
435
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:19,265
Listen, sister.
If you want to get to the top
436
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,333
of the blogosphere, you've got to get out
437
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:24,136
of your townhouse and do some
real journalism once in a while.
438
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:26,405
I can't believe I actually
left my house to meet with you.
439
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:29,275
I was on deadline with
a Lindsay Lohan exclusive.
440
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,943
I could have been scooped by The Real Deal
441
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,512
or Current New York.
442
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,217
I just texted you
a picture of George Barrow
443
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:41,721
at the Waverly Diner borrowing
money from a couple of mobsters.
444
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,223
Practically gift wrapped it,
for sobbing out loud.
445
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,693
Now, do you want to bring down
446
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,762
the wicked Prince Charming of
West Village real estate or not?
447
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,032
Sure, I'd love to break
that story and win a Pulitzer,
448
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,134
but how do we know
you're telling the truth?
449
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,504
Why would George Barrow
borrow money from the mob?
450
00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:58,838
He already has a ton of cash.
451
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,439
Not as much as you'd think.
452
00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:02,575
Take a look.
453
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,244
George's check from the Waverly diner.
454
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:06,946
So, what does that prove?
455
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:10,116
Well, he only left
a 10% tip, not his usual 25.
456
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:14,453
My God, you're right.
457
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:18,991
George is in serious trouble.
Give me all the dirt.
458
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,660
You know what to do.
459
00:24:24,063 --> 00:24:25,164
What are you doing?
460
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,599
It's a burner phone.
461
00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,501
Do you really think
I'm that stupid?
462
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,971
But you didn't tell me anything.
463
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:34,473
I don't even know your name.
How do I get a hold of you?
464
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,242
Just call me Deep Park
465
00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,477
and follow the money,
it won't steer you wrong.
466
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,928
Oh, George.
Hi. I wasn't expecting you.
467
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:57,997
How can I help you today?
468
00:24:58,130 --> 00:25:00,667
Well, it's just one more little thing.
469
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,035
After that contractor came by
to do the repairs
470
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,971
before Jonathan moved in,
471
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:06,806
you assured me that all the
electrical outlets were working,
472
00:25:06,939 --> 00:25:10,042
but this one clearly is not.
473
00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,711
I had one of my electricians come by
474
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,312
and test it this morning.
475
00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:15,181
Well, it was working fine until Jonathan
476
00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:17,216
had his home entertainment
system installed last week.
477
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,384
I checked it myself.
478
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,187
With what? An iPhone?
479
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:24,724
You can hardly expect my friend to run
480
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:28,360
a 60-inch flatscreen TV,
a Bose speaker system,
481
00:25:28,494 --> 00:25:31,831
and an Xbox from an outlet that
can barely charge a cell phone.
482
00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:34,066
You're going to have to
call ConEd to upgrade the power.
483
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,035
Excuse me? This is my house.
484
00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:37,403
And it's my sisters' house.
485
00:25:38,104 --> 00:25:39,839
And it was our parents house
until they were struck
486
00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:42,074
by a Green Apple tour bus
crossing 7th Avenue.
487
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:44,777
Now, we may not have a lot of money,
488
00:25:44,911 --> 00:25:46,412
but we do the best with what we can.
489
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,080
And ever since you showed up here
490
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,049
with your stupid punch list,
I don't know
491
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:52,218
how we're going to be able
to pay the mortgage this month.
492
00:25:52,351 --> 00:25:54,921
Now hold on a minute.
You're the landlord.
493
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:57,023
You have an obligation to make repairs
494
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:58,925
- and provide essential services.
- Like what?
495
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,394
Fix the windows that haven't
been open since the '90s?
496
00:26:02,528 --> 00:26:04,563
Jonathan agreed to
everything on that punch list
497
00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:06,332
when he signed the lease.
498
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,400
Now, if he isn't satisfied
with everything that
499
00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:11,170
my sisters and I have done
to make sure that he is happy,
500
00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:13,773
he can pack up
his speaker system and his Xbox
501
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,075
and he can get his ass out of my house.
502
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,777
But that's not going to happen--
503
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,211
No, no, I'm not finished.
504
00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:21,113
At least Jonathan is a gentleman
505
00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:23,215
and thanks us for doing what we can.
506
00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:24,884
You, on the other hand,
507
00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:27,286
are a world class asshole
who wouldn't even help
508
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,455
his own grandmother cross Bleaker Street.
509
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,625
I know all about your little
plan to buy out the West Village
510
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,094
and turn it into
a hedge funder's Disneyland,
511
00:26:35,227 --> 00:26:38,064
but there is one house that you are never
512
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:42,434
getting your hands on,
and that is this one.
513
00:26:42,568 --> 00:26:44,603
Now, get out!
514
00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:46,505
Okay.
515
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,975
So what's the problem?
516
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,643
He pays his rent, doesn't he?
517
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:52,779
It's not that, really.
It's just--
518
00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:55,581
Every day, George Barrow comes
over to Jonathan's apartment
519
00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:58,384
and finds one more
little thing wrong with it.
520
00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:00,619
One more little thing
that then my sisters and I
521
00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:02,188
have to pay for to repair.
522
00:27:02,822 --> 00:27:04,623
- So, just get Tommy to do it.
- Hmph.
523
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:07,293
Lord knows he'll do it for free.
524
00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:10,797
So all you gotta do is get
on your little knees and behave.
525
00:27:13,099 --> 00:27:15,968
'Cause if you don't, I will
because that Tommy is hot.
526
00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:18,037
Shut up!
527
00:27:19,605 --> 00:27:21,841
So what?
Tommy and I hooked up one time
528
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,076
at a New Year's Eve party
that I threw at my house.
529
00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:25,878
We were drunk, it didn't count.
530
00:27:26,612 --> 00:27:28,681
And I did ask Tommy
to help me with the repairs,
531
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,482
but he flaked on me midway through.
532
00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:33,285
Anyway, when George came over
533
00:27:33,419 --> 00:27:35,021
to Jonathan's apartment yesterday,
534
00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:36,689
he started complaining
about an electrical outlet
535
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:39,025
that wasn't working
and I just-- I lost it.
536
00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:42,294
Now, I'm afraid
I'm going to lose Jonathan, too.
537
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:47,834
So what's the plan, honey?
538
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,136
I know you got one.
You always do.
539
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:52,705
Well, this one's Lydia's idea.
540
00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:55,041
We're going to throw
Jonathan a party on Friday night
541
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:56,776
at the Little Branch.
542
00:27:56,909 --> 00:27:58,778
Invite some cute girls,
get the guys trashed,
543
00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:00,512
and before they know it,
they'll forget all about
544
00:28:00,646 --> 00:28:02,381
that stupid electrical outlet.
545
00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,218
Count me in.
I'll be there with bells on.
546
00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:08,354
Yes!
547
00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:10,356
All right.
548
00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,198
Hey, Billie. Sorry, I'm late.
549
00:28:19,331 --> 00:28:21,567
My hair dryer wasn't working again.
550
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,169
Have you seen Jonathan?
551
00:28:23,302 --> 00:28:25,037
We need to make sure
he's having a good time.
552
00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:27,206
- George too, I guess.
- Yes, ma'am.
553
00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:29,375
I think he's over there
talking to your sister
554
00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:31,210
- and her friends from the gym.
- Come on, George,
555
00:28:31,343 --> 00:28:33,012
- just have one drink.
- Jonathan.
556
00:28:33,145 --> 00:28:35,447
You know that I am training
for the half marathon
557
00:28:35,581 --> 00:28:36,883
in Battery Park next month.
558
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,886
Even one drink
could derail my preparation.
559
00:28:40,019 --> 00:28:41,553
You should try a master cleanse.
560
00:28:41,687 --> 00:28:43,422
Yeah, that worked for me
when I was getting ready
561
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,825
for the Miss International
Triathlon Competition.
562
00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:47,927
For me, it's all about clean living.
563
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,297
Three meals a day,
eight hours of sleep a night...
564
00:28:52,765 --> 00:28:54,133
five mile run up and down
565
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:55,902
the West Side Highway every morning.
566
00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:59,939
Sounds like a very
interesting lifestyle, George,
567
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,607
but what do you do for fun?
568
00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:06,412
Oh, George doesn't believe
in the word "fun."
569
00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:07,880
Yeah, back when
we were in business school,
570
00:29:08,014 --> 00:29:09,481
George was always hitting the books
571
00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,217
while the rest of us were getting trashed.
572
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:13,619
That's why he got
the GPA and I got the girls.
573
00:29:16,388 --> 00:29:17,957
Be fair, Jonathan.
574
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,926
You're making me out
to be some kind of hermit.
575
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:23,562
I'm not looking for a woman
at all at this point in my life.
576
00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:26,232
I'm only here right now because
Jonathan dragged me along.
577
00:29:30,736 --> 00:29:31,938
Did somebody say drag?
578
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,143
I-- I think I have to go.
Big day tomorrow.
579
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,411
Oh, you're not going anywhere, sweetheart.
580
00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,983
Drink this. It'll put
some hair on your chest.
581
00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:49,321
Billie, what are you doing?
You're gonna ruin everything.
582
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:52,959
George, I hope you can forgive
my sister and her friends.
583
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,660
They're just trying
to show you a good time.
584
00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:57,696
Calm down, Lizzie.
585
00:29:57,830 --> 00:29:59,765
We're just having a little fun, right?
586
00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:01,567
Yeah.
587
00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:04,871
Now, George, when was
the last time you got laid?
588
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:07,473
Because even though
Lizzie here thinks
589
00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,308
you're a world class asshole,
590
00:30:10,242 --> 00:30:13,112
I think you'll melt
like butter in my mouth.
591
00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:16,949
Bring us another bottle of Grey Goose.
592
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,952
This is the best party I've
been to in a really long time.
593
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:25,958
Girlfriend. Like your style.
594
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,012
Ugh, who is it?
595
00:30:56,622 --> 00:30:58,991
- Hello?
- Are you still in bed?
596
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:01,093
Charlotte, who died?
597
00:31:01,227 --> 00:31:02,962
No one yet, but it's going to be you
598
00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:04,830
if you don't tell me why I wasn't invited
599
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:07,033
to that bash you threw
at the Little Branch last night.
600
00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:09,635
I am so sorry. Let me guess.
601
00:31:09,768 --> 00:31:11,938
You read about it in
Townhouse Confidential?
602
00:31:12,071 --> 00:31:14,040
I know. I'm such a nerd.
603
00:31:14,173 --> 00:31:16,708
But still, I am one of your oldest friends
604
00:31:16,842 --> 00:31:18,477
and I only live two doors down the block.
605
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:20,479
Oh, my head.
606
00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:22,814
By the way,
Lizzie, did you get a chance
607
00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:24,883
to check out Straight
Easy Personals today?
608
00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:28,620
Charlotte, I told you, I am done
with those dating sites.
609
00:31:28,754 --> 00:31:30,389
Hold on a minute.
610
00:31:30,522 --> 00:31:33,259
The guy in this ad here
sounds perfect for you.
611
00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:35,661
Ready? Real estate pro.
612
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:38,864
Fed up with cheaters and game players.
613
00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:40,199
Me, too.
614
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:43,869
He's 34, 6'2,
615
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:46,973
190, sensitive, sincere, and single.
616
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:50,109
"My ideal date would be
to come over to your place,
617
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:53,512
whip up some spaghetti
carbonara, wash the dishes,
618
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:56,182
put them away,
then I would carry you to bed,
619
00:31:56,315 --> 00:32:01,053
give you a relaxing massage,
and bang you all night long."
620
00:32:01,187 --> 00:32:04,123
Charlotte, that has to be a joke.
621
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:08,694
There is no guy who's like that,
who's single and straight
622
00:32:08,827 --> 00:32:11,363
and smart and good looking
and lives in New York City.
623
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:13,099
Well, it's your call, Lizzie.
624
00:32:13,232 --> 00:32:15,101
Like they say in those lotto commercials,
625
00:32:15,234 --> 00:32:16,935
you got to be in it to win it.
626
00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:19,405
I'm going to bed now, okay?
627
00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,440
Goodbye.
628
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:09,788
- Elizabeth Perry?
- Do I know you?
629
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:13,425
Sal, Sal Carmine.
You answered my ad, right?
630
00:33:13,559 --> 00:33:15,161
Oh, sorry.
631
00:33:15,294 --> 00:33:17,863
I was expecting someone
a little bit different.
632
00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:22,234
Perhaps a little bit taller?
633
00:33:22,368 --> 00:33:25,337
Yeah, I get that a lot.
That's why I put 6'2.
634
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:30,876
You know, chicks are genetically
programmed to dig taller guys.
635
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,378
- Are we?
- Guys like me,
636
00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,012
in the 5'6 and under club,
637
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:35,914
we don't stand a chance.
638
00:33:36,048 --> 00:33:38,050
Yeah, and I did my homework
on those dating sites, too.
639
00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:43,322
Chicks don't like: bald guys,
fat guys, or married guys.
640
00:33:43,455 --> 00:33:45,624
They like the Prince Charming type.
641
00:33:45,757 --> 00:33:49,228
You know, like Mark Darcy
from the Bridget Jones Diary.
642
00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,197
Hold on a second.
Are you married?
643
00:33:51,330 --> 00:33:53,099
Yeah.
644
00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:56,402
I got three kids in
Catholic school on Long Island.
645
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,204
Don't get me started on the tuition.
646
00:33:58,837 --> 00:34:00,972
You know, my wife, she's a decent cook,
647
00:34:01,107 --> 00:34:02,408
but she don't want to give me head
648
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,210
unless I bathe her toes in Guccis.
649
00:34:04,343 --> 00:34:06,212
Yeah, so I thought, you know,
getting on a dating site
650
00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:08,680
would be a hell of a lot
cheaper than hiring a hooker.
651
00:34:08,814 --> 00:34:10,716
Oh, my God. You are disgusting!
I'm out of here!
652
00:34:10,849 --> 00:34:12,218
Wait, come here.
Where you going?
653
00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:15,254
Come on, let's go back to
my Lexus, I got a big back seat.
654
00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,589
I-- What are we,
in high school? Absolutely not.
655
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,091
You know you want me, baby.
656
00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:20,759
- Come on.
- I do not.
657
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:22,461
Let me play
connect the dots on your shirt.
658
00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:24,396
Oh, my God. Get away
from my house, you creep.
659
00:34:26,232 --> 00:34:29,735
Take my card.
I'm a licensed mortgage broker.
660
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:32,037
Do you need to refinance your loan?
661
00:34:32,171 --> 00:34:33,739
I'll get you the cheapest rates in town.
662
00:34:33,872 --> 00:34:35,274
My loan's just fine, thank you.
663
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,276
Listen, by the look of your house,
664
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,511
it looks like you're going
to need some renovations.
665
00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:42,548
And you? You look like
you seriously need to get laid.
666
00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:44,216
Oh. Goodbye.
667
00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:46,452
- Call me.
- Never!
668
00:34:51,857 --> 00:34:53,091
ConEd bill.
669
00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:56,061
Ooh, Pottery Barn catalog. Okay.
670
00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:57,729
Green Piece solicitation.
671
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,799
Hudson River Bank? What?
672
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:15,414
Default?
673
00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:21,353
Forclose-- What? Oh, my God.
674
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,903
Good morning, Lizzie.
675
00:35:38,036 --> 00:35:40,071
Oh, don't you think it's a little early
676
00:35:40,206 --> 00:35:42,441
in the day to be drinking alone?
677
00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:44,343
Good news.
678
00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:49,581
So, anyway, what did you
want to talk to me about?
679
00:35:49,715 --> 00:35:52,951
- Is it business or personal?
- Both.
680
00:35:53,084 --> 00:35:56,522
Turns out my Prince Charming
from the Street Easy Personals
681
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:59,991
was a married creep from Long Island.
682
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:03,529
And then, I got a love letter
yesterday from the bank
683
00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:05,731
saying that they're going
to repossess the house.
684
00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:08,434
The bank sent you a foreclosure notice?
685
00:36:08,567 --> 00:36:10,101
Yup.
686
00:36:10,236 --> 00:36:11,537
The mortgage payment
is supposed to come out
687
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,539
of your checking account every month.
688
00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:15,207
Have you been receiving any
calls from collection agencies?
689
00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:16,975
No. Ever since you set me up on autopay,
690
00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:18,610
I haven't missed a payment.
691
00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:19,945
You're not only a great friend, Charlotte,
692
00:36:20,078 --> 00:36:21,112
you are an excellent bookkeeper.
693
00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:22,414
I know.
694
00:36:23,715 --> 00:36:24,916
Hold on a minute.
695
00:36:25,984 --> 00:36:27,686
Remember that time you went
to the Hudson River Bank
696
00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:29,688
and I helped you apply
for a home equity credit line?
697
00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:31,557
- Yeah.
- Whatever happened with that?
698
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:33,659
The bank gave us
a $100,000 line of credit,
699
00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:35,261
but I never used it.
700
00:36:35,394 --> 00:36:36,828
You know how I feel about borrowing money
701
00:36:36,962 --> 00:36:38,330
that I can't pay back.
702
00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:39,998
The bank sent us a book of checks,
703
00:36:40,131 --> 00:36:42,133
which I put in my desk
drawer and never touched.
704
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,245
No!
705
00:36:54,746 --> 00:36:56,415
So then, I turn around
706
00:36:56,548 --> 00:36:59,285
and this dude was like,
"Hey, can I buy you shot?"
707
00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:01,520
He was so hot.
You probably saw him.
708
00:37:01,653 --> 00:37:04,256
He just left, actually.
709
00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:07,693
Another family meeting.
710
00:37:07,826 --> 00:37:11,530
We haven't spent this much time
together since Mom and Dad died.
711
00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:18,069
Lydia, sit down.
This is serious.
712
00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:27,579
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
713
00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:28,947
out of my desk drawer.
714
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,483
What? How did you let that happen?
715
00:37:31,617 --> 00:37:33,552
Me? Maybe you would know
something about this
716
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:35,220
if you weren't so drunk last night.
717
00:37:35,354 --> 00:37:36,822
- So this is my fault?
- Well, maybe,
718
00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:38,924
you're the only one who lets in random men
719
00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:40,392
at three o'clock in the morning.
720
00:37:40,526 --> 00:37:42,928
Sisters, please, can we just work together
721
00:37:43,061 --> 00:37:44,730
for, like, five minutes?
722
00:37:44,863 --> 00:37:46,465
You're right, Mary.
723
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:48,133
The home equity credit line
that we took out
724
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:50,302
gives the bank the right to sell our house
725
00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:52,538
after three missed mortgage payments.
726
00:37:52,671 --> 00:37:56,842
That means we have seven days
to come up with $100,000.
727
00:37:56,975 --> 00:37:59,311
$100,000?
728
00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:02,247
No. No. You're so stupid, Liz.
729
00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:04,316
I studied mortgage financing at NYU,
730
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:06,418
and I can tell you that
a bank can't just foreclose
731
00:38:06,552 --> 00:38:08,019
on your house after
a couple of missed payments.
732
00:38:08,153 --> 00:38:09,688
- It could take years.
- No, Lydia,
733
00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:11,657
there's a clause in our contract.
734
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:13,459
The three strikes you're out rule.
735
00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:15,461
I guess that's why the guys
over at Hudson River Bank
736
00:38:15,594 --> 00:38:16,962
gave us such a great rate.
737
00:38:17,095 --> 00:38:18,664
But that's mortgage fraud.
738
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:20,799
We could sue them or expose them
739
00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:22,801
on the Daily Beast or BuzzFeed.
740
00:38:22,934 --> 00:38:24,470
I think we need to go to the police.
741
00:38:24,603 --> 00:38:26,004
Okay. Don't worry.
742
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,473
I know some guys down at the gym
743
00:38:27,606 --> 00:38:29,207
who will be happy to bail us out.
744
00:38:29,341 --> 00:38:31,142
I'll put out the word on
Townhouse Confidential.
745
00:38:31,276 --> 00:38:33,044
Are you kidding me? Fine.
746
00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,213
I will go down there and talk
to Detective Ortiz myself.
747
00:38:45,491 --> 00:38:46,758
Detective Ortiz.
748
00:38:46,892 --> 00:38:48,293
Oh, dios mio.
749
00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:51,363
Elizabeth Perry. We meet again.
750
00:38:51,497 --> 00:38:53,164
You remember me?
751
00:38:53,298 --> 00:38:56,968
How could I forget a damsel
who's always in distress?
752
00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:58,504
What is it this time?
753
00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,071
Your-- your grandmother's pearl necklace?
754
00:39:00,205 --> 00:39:01,807
Your sister's diamond earring?
755
00:39:02,273 --> 00:39:04,410
A solar eclipse
over Washington Square park?
756
00:39:04,543 --> 00:39:05,811
No, Detective Ortiz.
757
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:07,679
This time it's something serious.
758
00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,248
Someone broke into our house
and stole the checkbook
759
00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:11,583
for our home equity credit line.
760
00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:13,452
They wrote a bunch of checks
761
00:39:13,585 --> 00:39:15,286
and drained all of the equity
out of our townhouse.
762
00:39:15,421 --> 00:39:17,122
Now, the bank wants to take the house
763
00:39:17,255 --> 00:39:18,724
because we haven't been
making payments on the money
764
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:20,291
that we didn't know we borrowed.
765
00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:21,793
Tragic.
766
00:39:21,927 --> 00:39:24,029
When did this happen?
Last night?
767
00:39:24,162 --> 00:39:26,665
I don't know. I just noticed the
checkbook missing this morning,
768
00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,233
but it could have happened months ago.
769
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:31,002
Do you have any idea
who might have taken it?
770
00:39:31,136 --> 00:39:33,238
Has anyone unusual been
to the houses recently?
771
00:39:33,905 --> 00:39:36,007
A plumber? A FedEx guy?
772
00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:37,843
Professor Dumbledore?
773
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:39,845
Well, my sister,
Lydia, does bring home
774
00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:41,447
all these random men
just about every weekend.
775
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,515
- Oh, yeah.
- And then on New Year's,
776
00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:46,151
there was this handyman
777
00:39:46,284 --> 00:39:48,053
and a lot of champagne
and a couple cupcakes--
778
00:39:48,186 --> 00:39:49,488
No.
779
00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:50,656
Here's my card.
780
00:39:51,857 --> 00:39:54,392
If you think of any more
information, give me a call.
781
00:39:54,526 --> 00:39:57,228
In the meantime,
if we see anybody walking down
782
00:39:57,362 --> 00:39:59,665
Bleaker Street
with a suitcase full of cash,
783
00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:01,199
we'll give you a call.
784
00:40:05,671 --> 00:40:07,939
Well, Jim,
I think we'll both will agree
785
00:40:08,073 --> 00:40:10,308
that I've added a lot
of value to the development
786
00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:11,877
of the Chick Stalkers app.
787
00:40:12,010 --> 00:40:14,079
I mean, come on,
downloads have gone way up
788
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,715
now that I've clued you
into what women really want.
789
00:40:16,848 --> 00:40:18,550
Didn't really expect to get a sales pitch
790
00:40:18,684 --> 00:40:19,951
this early in the morning.
791
00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:22,521
That's not what I'm talking about.
792
00:40:23,354 --> 00:40:24,723
Okay, okay. You know what?
793
00:40:24,856 --> 00:40:26,558
I will talk to my DCs and I will see
794
00:40:26,692 --> 00:40:28,393
if I can get you
some friends and family shares
795
00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,128
before we go on the roadshow.
796
00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,931
How can you think of money
at a time like this, Jim?
797
00:40:33,064 --> 00:40:35,934
Can't you see that
what I'm really looking for...
798
00:40:36,735 --> 00:40:38,103
is love?
799
00:40:38,637 --> 00:40:40,572
- Love?
- Mm-hm.
800
00:40:40,706 --> 00:40:42,674
But you told me you were the hookup queen
801
00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,342
of the West Village.
802
00:40:44,476 --> 00:40:45,811
That's where you got all those great ideas
803
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:47,212
for Chick Stalkers, right?
804
00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:51,583
Yes, but now that
I've met you, Jim, I've changed.
805
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:56,588
Now all I want is to
settle down with a man I love,
806
00:40:56,722 --> 00:41:01,426
cuddle up in our 25 foot wide
townhouse west of 7th Avenue,
807
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,362
and just pump out lots of babies.
808
00:41:05,163 --> 00:41:07,365
I see you've been
reading my Bumble profile.
809
00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:13,438
It's true. I want to settle down
with a nice, old fashioned girl.
810
00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,173
But, Lydia...
811
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:17,142
unless you've had a personality transplant
812
00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:20,779
in the last 24 hours,
that girl is just not you.
813
00:41:21,913 --> 00:41:25,917
You look scorching hot
in those Lululemon shorts,
814
00:41:26,051 --> 00:41:29,487
but I love you for your mind.
815
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:31,857
- Do you want the truth?
- Yes.
816
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,458
Well, okay.
817
00:41:34,092 --> 00:41:36,662
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
818
00:41:36,795 --> 00:41:39,330
off of my sister Lizzie's desk
and now we have to get
819
00:41:39,464 --> 00:41:42,167
our hands on $100,000 by next week
820
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:44,002
or the bank takes our house.
821
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:46,538
Well, that's terrible.
I had no idea.
822
00:41:46,672 --> 00:41:50,609
You know, I actually really
hate that stupid brownstone
823
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,177
that we inherited from our parents.
824
00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,379
But my sisters won't sell it
825
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:55,947
and I'm the only one in the house
826
00:41:56,081 --> 00:41:59,184
who has any brains or makes any money.
827
00:42:01,419 --> 00:42:02,821
You're trying to help your sisters?
828
00:42:03,488 --> 00:42:05,356
You really do have family values.
829
00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:06,758
My sweet Lydia.
830
00:42:08,226 --> 00:42:09,895
I never would have guessed.
831
00:42:27,779 --> 00:42:29,247
I hope you like it.
832
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,316
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
833
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,389
Wow, those cupcakes look so good.
834
00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:40,558
You know, I love a woman
835
00:42:40,692 --> 00:42:42,260
who knows her way around the kitchen.
836
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:45,430
Oh, I didn't make those myself,
I just iced them.
837
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,866
I'm the assistant chief
manager at Magnolia Bakery.
838
00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:49,835
Our bakers bake those fresh every day.
839
00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:52,871
I bet you your oven is pretty fresh.
840
00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:55,674
My oven is actually off. Thanks.
841
00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:57,508
You know what?
842
00:42:57,643 --> 00:42:58,877
Let's get down to business, shall we?
843
00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:00,879
I would love that. Yes, please.
844
00:43:01,012 --> 00:43:06,818
So, how much money do you make
working at this cupcake shop?
845
00:43:06,952 --> 00:43:09,220
I get $17 an hour
plus a share of the tip jar.
846
00:43:09,354 --> 00:43:12,457
And Magnolia's isn't just a cupcake shop.
847
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,425
Tourists come from
all over the world to taste
848
00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:17,663
the baked goods that put
Sex in the City on the map.
849
00:43:20,365 --> 00:43:23,034
All right, well, how about your sisters?
850
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:25,704
What do they contribute
to the household income?
851
00:43:25,837 --> 00:43:29,808
I'd say altogether we bring in
about $125,000 a year.
852
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:31,576
Okay, based on your income
853
00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:34,112
and the rent you're getting
from the apartment,
854
00:43:34,245 --> 00:43:35,814
I could probably
get you a new mortgage in,
855
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:38,917
you know, like, say, a couple of months.
856
00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:42,821
Oh, um... we actually need it by next week.
857
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:45,456
Otherwise the bank
is going to take our house.
858
00:43:51,229 --> 00:43:52,530
Oh.
859
00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:54,833
Well, you know,
860
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,235
I could maybe talk to the bank.
861
00:43:57,368 --> 00:43:59,004
Oh, yeah.
862
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:02,908
- And maybe speed up the process.
- That would be great.
863
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:06,411
If there's just, like,
one thing you could do for me.
864
00:44:06,544 --> 00:44:08,379
Oh, um, Sal.
I'm not that kind of girl.
865
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,548
Oh. Looks like the power went out.
866
00:44:10,682 --> 00:44:12,483
Better go check on that.
You know your way out.
867
00:44:12,617 --> 00:44:14,519
I'll get you that mortgage right away.
868
00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:22,660
- Who's there?
- Ah! Oh, my God.
869
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,395
This is my house. Who are you?
870
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:26,832
George Barrow?
871
00:44:26,965 --> 00:44:29,034
You think you can just burst
in here whenever you please?
872
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,969
Well, I could just as easily ask you
873
00:44:31,102 --> 00:44:32,603
the same question, Elizabeth.
874
00:44:32,738 --> 00:44:34,605
The lease Jonathan signed
does not permit you
875
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:37,442
to enter his apartment without
three days written notice
876
00:44:37,575 --> 00:44:38,609
unless there's an emergency.
877
00:44:38,744 --> 00:44:40,511
Oh, there was an emergency.
878
00:44:40,645 --> 00:44:42,413
And the last time I checked,
879
00:44:42,547 --> 00:44:44,582
your name is not on the lease
as an additional occupant.
880
00:44:44,716 --> 00:44:47,418
So, why did you come over here
unannounced on a Saturday night?
881
00:44:47,552 --> 00:44:50,488
I came here to fix that faulty outlet
882
00:44:50,621 --> 00:44:52,423
you and your contractor
could never seem to fix
883
00:44:52,557 --> 00:44:55,994
before Jonathan flies back
from California tomorrow night.
884
00:44:56,127 --> 00:44:58,229
And then the electricity went out.
885
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,402
Oh. Damn it.
886
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:08,740
Yep. Yeah.
That's an entire blackout.
887
00:45:08,874 --> 00:45:10,575
Yeah, all of Lower Manhattan.
888
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,778
Okay, okay,
889
00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:14,780
well, now Jonathan won't have
any electricity at all.
890
00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:17,348
Do you happen to have a generator?
891
00:45:17,916 --> 00:45:20,185
No, but I might have
some leftover firewood
892
00:45:20,318 --> 00:45:21,586
from Hurricane Sandy.
893
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,122
- Oh, you were here for that?
- Yeah.
894
00:45:24,255 --> 00:45:26,057
I was in this house
for six days with nothing.
895
00:45:26,191 --> 00:45:27,926
- It was awful.
- Oh, I remember.
896
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:31,997
Yeah. I made a fire
in my townhouse for Sandy.
897
00:45:32,630 --> 00:45:37,102
Oh. Would you
want to make one here for me?
898
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:41,339
Yes. Yes, I would.
899
00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:43,641
All right. Follow me.
900
00:45:44,442 --> 00:45:45,643
Okay.
901
00:45:46,544 --> 00:45:47,578
- Well, cheers to you.
- Cheers.
902
00:45:51,682 --> 00:45:53,718
I mean, I guess I am partial
to dormer windows
903
00:45:53,852 --> 00:45:55,821
because I grew up in
a federal style townhouse,
904
00:45:55,954 --> 00:46:00,125
but still, Greek revival,
it leaves me cold.
905
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:01,893
Oh, same here.
906
00:46:02,027 --> 00:46:04,029
You know those Italianate
brownstones on 9th street?
907
00:46:04,162 --> 00:46:06,798
I think they should be
banished to Brooklyn Heights.
908
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,369
I have no idea you were
a townhouse junkie, too.
909
00:46:12,003 --> 00:46:13,738
Born and bred
right here in the West Village.
910
00:46:14,539 --> 00:46:16,407
It's funny that
we've never hung out before.
911
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:20,278
Two sides to the story, though, right?
912
00:46:20,411 --> 00:46:22,313
I mean, on the one hand,
everybody hates you
913
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:24,249
because you get to live in your own
914
00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:26,617
little castle in the West Village.
915
00:46:27,152 --> 00:46:30,421
But on the other hand,
there's a million problems
916
00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,824
to deal with every single day.
917
00:46:32,958 --> 00:46:34,960
Yeah, for me, those problems are mice
918
00:46:35,093 --> 00:46:37,996
and bugs and the radiators
that hiss all winter long.
919
00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,300
But what problems could you
possibly have, George Barrow?
920
00:46:43,034 --> 00:46:44,669
Oh, trust me.
921
00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:47,472
Being the crown prince
of West Village real estate
922
00:46:47,605 --> 00:46:49,474
is not all it's cracked out to be.
923
00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:52,510
Oh, why not? Because you have to
share your castle with a queen?
924
00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,981
Don't even get me started on my mother.
925
00:46:57,015 --> 00:46:58,516
She's the one who wants to build a dynasty
926
00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:00,818
in the West Village, not me.
927
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:06,491
All I ever wanted was
to be an architect like my dad.
928
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:10,862
Oh, um...
929
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:14,165
Oh, my. Look at this. All right.
930
00:47:19,704 --> 00:47:21,739
- That's a good one.
- That's a large pour.
931
00:47:21,873 --> 00:47:23,508
A village pour.
I'm gonna take that..
932
00:47:25,210 --> 00:47:26,711
Cheers.
933
00:47:29,780 --> 00:47:31,016
Let's play a game.
934
00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:33,318
- Okay.
- Okay.
935
00:47:41,426 --> 00:47:43,294
113 Bedford.
936
00:47:44,662 --> 00:47:46,631
Date and builder.
937
00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:48,599
That's too easy.
938
00:47:48,733 --> 00:47:50,168
There's a plaque on the facade
939
00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:52,237
that I see every day on my way to work.
940
00:47:52,370 --> 00:47:54,405
George Harrison, 1842.
941
00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:56,374
- Not the singer.
- Correct.
942
00:47:57,008 --> 00:47:58,944
- Your turn.
- Okay.
943
00:47:59,077 --> 00:48:01,246
Ooh, skinniest house in the West Village.
944
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:04,215
Oh, come on, Lizzie,
everybody knows that one.
945
00:48:04,849 --> 00:48:06,751
75 and a half Bedford,
946
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,719
nine and a half feet wide.
947
00:48:09,454 --> 00:48:11,322
The Edna St. Vincent
Millay House.
948
00:48:15,693 --> 00:48:16,894
Okay.
949
00:48:19,164 --> 00:48:20,365
How about this one?
950
00:48:22,067 --> 00:48:23,801
59 Morton.
951
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,805
You've actually been
inside this townhouse before.
952
00:48:27,939 --> 00:48:29,574
Although you probably don't remember.
953
00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,578
It was a very long time ago.
You were very little.
954
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:37,682
I'll give you a clue.
955
00:48:39,584 --> 00:48:40,785
Birthday party.
956
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:43,788
The stairs.
957
00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:47,925
Liz, are you asleep?
958
00:48:50,028 --> 00:48:51,562
Lizzie?
959
00:49:31,069 --> 00:49:32,537
Uh, Tommy Leroy?
960
00:49:32,670 --> 00:49:34,672
What the hell are you doing here?
961
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,242
The power went out last night
962
00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:39,110
and didn't come back on this morning.
963
00:49:39,244 --> 00:49:41,779
I figured I'd drop by and check
on you and your sisters.
964
00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:43,181
Three girls alone in a townhouse
965
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:45,583
might need a man to help out, eh?
966
00:49:45,716 --> 00:49:47,152
In your dreams.
967
00:49:47,285 --> 00:49:49,287
Get out of here before I call the cops.
968
00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:51,122
With what?
969
00:49:51,256 --> 00:49:52,823
A cell phone that's
losing charge by the second?
970
00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:58,796
Ooh, looks like somebody
started the party without me.
971
00:49:58,929 --> 00:50:00,531
Mind if I poured myself a glass?
972
00:50:18,083 --> 00:50:19,450
That's right.
973
00:50:19,584 --> 00:50:22,387
George Barrow was here last night
974
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,090
to fix the electrical outlet that you said
975
00:50:25,223 --> 00:50:27,658
- you fixed two weeks ago.
- Unbelievable.
976
00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:29,494
George Barrow was here?
977
00:50:29,627 --> 00:50:31,362
I thought you hated him
and everything he stood for.
978
00:50:31,496 --> 00:50:34,065
You've hooked up with
every girl in the West Village.
979
00:50:34,199 --> 00:50:36,334
You can't possibly
expect for me to sit around
980
00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:39,237
and wait for you to show up
and fix what's wrong down there.
981
00:50:40,638 --> 00:50:42,407
In the garden apartment!
982
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,710
You really expect me
to believe that George Barrow
983
00:50:45,843 --> 00:50:47,512
just happened to drop by
on a Saturday night?
984
00:50:47,645 --> 00:50:49,547
Well, yeah, because
that's exactly what happened.
985
00:50:50,448 --> 00:50:52,250
And now that I'm getting
to know George better,
986
00:50:52,383 --> 00:50:55,753
I can see that he's not just
some money grubbing developer.
987
00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:59,790
He's a real gentleman
who's kind and caring
988
00:50:59,924 --> 00:51:03,361
and shares my passion
for cornices and dormer windows.
989
00:51:04,362 --> 00:51:07,098
He's not just some fly by night handyman
990
00:51:07,232 --> 00:51:09,567
who looks really good
in a pair of skinny jeans.
991
00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:11,001
Whoa!
992
00:51:12,036 --> 00:51:15,072
You're so incredibly naive, Liz Perry.
993
00:51:15,206 --> 00:51:16,874
You have no idea who George Barrow is
994
00:51:17,007 --> 00:51:19,510
- or what he's capable of doing.
- So, enlighten me.
995
00:51:19,644 --> 00:51:20,845
I'd be happy to.
996
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:28,153
George Barrow may be
a West Village blue blood,
997
00:51:28,286 --> 00:51:30,655
but he's not the only one
who grew up in a townhouse.
998
00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:34,959
Wait a minute.
You grew up in a townhouse?
999
00:51:37,962 --> 00:51:39,930
My father was the Barrow
family's property manager
1000
00:51:40,064 --> 00:51:41,132
when I was growing up.
1001
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,903
The Barrow's lived
in the owner's triplex up top.
1002
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,606
My dad and I lived in the garden apartment
1003
00:51:48,739 --> 00:51:49,907
underneath the stoop.
1004
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:53,043
Go on.
1005
00:51:54,379 --> 00:51:57,348
When we were little,
George and I were really close.
1006
00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:00,818
Practically like brothers.
1007
00:52:03,421 --> 00:52:05,656
But after old man Barrow
got killed in a crane collapse
1008
00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:08,159
on his way to see
one of my construction sites,
1009
00:52:08,293 --> 00:52:09,760
George blamed me.
1010
00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:13,164
Then, he asked me to move
out of my dad's apartment
1011
00:52:13,298 --> 00:52:15,966
so his contractor
could do some renovations.
1012
00:52:17,435 --> 00:52:21,839
I floated on couches
for a year before I realized
1013
00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:23,674
he was never going to
let me move back home.
1014
00:52:23,808 --> 00:52:25,910
That's awful. I had no idea.
1015
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,346
Eventually, I found a sublet in the story
1016
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:29,714
with a couple of guys from work.
1017
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:35,119
I had no idea that George Barrow
was such a monster.
1018
00:52:37,255 --> 00:52:39,557
- Did you take him to court?
- Yeah.
1019
00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:41,459
I hired a lawyer and everything.
1020
00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:45,330
By then,
George had already
1021
00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:47,932
finished the renovation and turned it
1022
00:52:48,065 --> 00:52:51,302
into a single-family home
worth triple what it was before.
1023
00:52:53,338 --> 00:52:54,439
Yeah.
1024
00:52:55,406 --> 00:52:58,276
He sent me a check for ten grand
1025
00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:01,412
to settle and I signed the release.
1026
00:53:04,482 --> 00:53:07,718
But what could George Barrow
possibly want with me?
1027
00:53:10,788 --> 00:53:12,523
Don't you get it, Lizzie?
1028
00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:14,859
He's buying up every
decent house in the West Village
1029
00:53:14,992 --> 00:53:16,794
to combine them
and sell them to billionaires
1030
00:53:16,927 --> 00:53:18,663
who want 50-footers.
1031
00:53:18,796 --> 00:53:20,498
Most of your neighbors
have already agreed to sell him
1032
00:53:20,631 --> 00:53:22,533
their properties
once he comes up the money.
1033
00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:24,168
Yeah, sure, that's old news.
1034
00:53:24,302 --> 00:53:26,136
I read it in
Townhouse Confidential.
1035
00:53:27,004 --> 00:53:29,407
Okay, I guess you
haven't read the latest post.
1036
00:53:30,908 --> 00:53:32,610
"Last Townhouse Standing.
1037
00:53:33,244 --> 00:53:36,046
"The Townhouse confidential
grapevine is buzzing with news
1038
00:53:36,180 --> 00:53:38,416
"that mega builder,
George Barrow, has the hots
1039
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:41,051
"for a shy little townhouse
on Washington Place
1040
00:53:41,185 --> 00:53:42,820
"to add to his portfolio.
1041
00:53:43,854 --> 00:53:45,890
"Barrow is just days away from closing
1042
00:53:46,023 --> 00:53:48,426
"on a $100 million fund to purchase dozens
1043
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:51,862
"of the biggest and best
townhouses in the West Village,
1044
00:53:51,996 --> 00:53:55,199
"but needs the mid-block beauty
to seal the deal.
1045
00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:58,403
"Odds are three to one
that the sisters will say no.
1046
00:53:58,536 --> 00:54:00,738
"Will gentlemen George up his offer?"
1047
00:54:00,871 --> 00:54:02,607
I assume that's why he came by last night,
1048
00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:04,074
to wine and dine you.
1049
00:54:04,208 --> 00:54:06,277
I cannot believe that Mary wrote that.
1050
00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:08,313
After all, she probably thinks that
1051
00:54:08,446 --> 00:54:10,881
we're so desperate for cash,
we'd take it from anybody.
1052
00:54:11,782 --> 00:54:13,050
Even George Barrow.
1053
00:54:14,184 --> 00:54:16,086
Well, I gotta go, Lizzie.
1054
00:54:18,723 --> 00:54:22,727
Make sure not to share your
cupcakes with just anyone, huh?
1055
00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:57,428
George?
1056
00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:00,164
Come here to steal our house,
I assume?
1057
00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:02,400
I think I forgot my screwdriver.
1058
00:55:02,867 --> 00:55:04,535
Wait there. I'll get it.
1059
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:10,641
- Here, take it.
- Did I do something wrong?
1060
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:12,477
Maybe not to me,
1061
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:14,479
but you should have been
a little nicer to Tommy Leroy
1062
00:55:14,612 --> 00:55:16,481
before you stole his apartment
1063
00:55:16,614 --> 00:55:18,215
and kicked him out of the townhouse
1064
00:55:18,349 --> 00:55:19,784
that you both grew up in.
1065
00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:21,352
I don't know what you're talking about.
1066
00:55:21,486 --> 00:55:23,287
Oh, really?
1067
00:55:23,421 --> 00:55:26,123
So you just get to be the Prince
Charming of the West Village
1068
00:55:26,256 --> 00:55:28,593
while Tommy can barely afford
his sublet in Queens?
1069
00:55:29,059 --> 00:55:30,361
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
1070
00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,096
Is that all he told you?
1071
00:55:32,229 --> 00:55:33,364
He told me that the only reason
1072
00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:35,032
you came over here last night
1073
00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:37,134
was to convince me
to sell you our townhouse.
1074
00:55:38,035 --> 00:55:40,671
So, I guess all that crap about cornices
1075
00:55:40,805 --> 00:55:44,375
and dormer windows was just
a bait you used to reel me in.
1076
00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:46,877
You are no gentleman,
George Barrow,
1077
00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,379
and you never will be.
1078
00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:50,247
Now, go.
1079
00:55:50,815 --> 00:55:52,383
Please, Liz.
You don't understand.
1080
00:55:52,517 --> 00:55:54,619
Tommy Leroy isn't who you think he is.
1081
00:55:54,752 --> 00:55:56,153
There's another side to the story.
1082
00:55:56,286 --> 00:55:58,188
There always is, isn't there?
1083
00:55:58,322 --> 00:56:00,391
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
1084
00:56:00,525 --> 00:56:03,861
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
1085
00:56:03,994 --> 00:56:08,065
and if I don't get my hands
on $100,000 by next week,
1086
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,067
the bank is gonna take our house.
1087
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:13,904
Thanks for the screwdriver.
1088
00:56:24,949 --> 00:56:28,653
Fuck, could things possibly get any worse?
1089
00:56:48,205 --> 00:56:52,276
Oh. Hi. Got the whole pie.
1090
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,878
Come on, have a slice.
1091
00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:55,212
A little carbs won't hurt you, right?
1092
00:56:55,345 --> 00:56:57,047
Thanks, but no.
1093
00:56:57,181 --> 00:57:00,184
It would derail my preparation
for the half marathon.
1094
00:57:02,152 --> 00:57:03,220
Fuckin' awesome.
1095
00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:07,424
George. Say we
get down to business, shall we?
1096
00:57:08,726 --> 00:57:12,229
The bottom line is your lenders
are getting pretty impatient.
1097
00:57:12,362 --> 00:57:13,898
They want to know when, you know,
1098
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:15,099
the deal's gonna close.
1099
00:57:16,233 --> 00:57:17,935
They want their
fucking money now, big guy.
1100
00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:20,270
- Capisce?
- Yeah.
1101
00:57:20,404 --> 00:57:22,106
There's no reason
to talk like that, Big Sal.
1102
00:57:22,807 --> 00:57:24,274
I'm sure Georgie here
1103
00:57:24,408 --> 00:57:26,243
has a perfectly reasonable explanation
1104
00:57:26,376 --> 00:57:28,579
- for the delay, right?
- Yes.
1105
00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:31,048
There's just one more
townhouse that I need
1106
00:57:31,181 --> 00:57:32,783
to put in the contract
1107
00:57:32,917 --> 00:57:35,553
before the investors
will release the financing.
1108
00:57:35,686 --> 00:57:38,055
The trouble is that
it's owned by three sisters
1109
00:57:38,188 --> 00:57:39,423
who don't want to sell.
1110
00:57:40,090 --> 00:57:42,192
You see, they grew up there.
1111
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,128
You think a horse's head in the bed
1112
00:57:44,261 --> 00:57:45,696
might help them see the light of reason?
1113
00:57:46,664 --> 00:57:48,599
I don't think
that'd be necessary, Big Sal.
1114
00:57:49,266 --> 00:57:52,870
Let's just let George here
talk to 'em, all right?
1115
00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:56,106
Know that Liz Perry?
She loves flowers.
1116
00:57:56,641 --> 00:57:58,242
Especially expensive kind.
1117
00:57:58,375 --> 00:58:00,745
Otherwise, the next horse's head
1118
00:58:00,878 --> 00:58:03,080
is gonna be in your bed, vapisce?
1119
00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:06,150
Come on, Big Sal, everything's
going to be all right.
1120
00:58:06,283 --> 00:58:07,351
Enjoy the pizza.
1121
00:58:24,134 --> 00:58:25,369
Fucking awesome.
1122
00:58:27,905 --> 00:58:29,106
And the weirdest part is,
1123
00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:30,875
I didn't have sex with any of them.
1124
00:58:31,008 --> 00:58:32,209
I mean, I was a little drunk,
1125
00:58:32,342 --> 00:58:34,111
so it was kind of tempting, but no.
1126
00:58:35,312 --> 00:58:37,047
You go, girl.
1127
00:58:37,181 --> 00:58:39,516
Unfortunately, the guy
I'm crushing on just left town.
1128
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,319
He said some kind of business trip.
1129
00:58:42,452 --> 00:58:44,021
Didn't even say when he's coming back.
1130
00:58:44,154 --> 00:58:46,190
Wait a second.
Are you talking about Jonathan?
1131
00:58:46,323 --> 00:58:48,693
I thought he was straight.
1132
00:58:48,826 --> 00:58:50,695
He wasn't so straight
when I was done with him.
1133
00:58:50,828 --> 00:58:54,098
Okay, you go, girl.
1134
00:58:54,231 --> 00:58:55,866
Ooh, let's check this one out.
1135
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,367
Can we go home already?
1136
00:58:57,501 --> 00:58:58,836
One more spiral staircase
1137
00:58:58,969 --> 00:59:00,537
and I'll be on crutches for weeks.
1138
00:59:00,671 --> 00:59:02,873
Come on, Billie.
This is the last one.
1139
00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:04,408
Girl.
1140
00:59:05,710 --> 00:59:07,712
- Hi.
- Hi. Have you got your ticket?
1141
00:59:07,845 --> 00:59:10,715
Thank you so much.
Please put the booties on.
1142
00:59:10,848 --> 00:59:12,216
Sure thing, thank you.
1143
00:59:14,184 --> 00:59:15,252
Whoa.
1144
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,255
Billie, do you see the chandelier?
1145
00:59:19,690 --> 00:59:21,125
It's gorgeous.
1146
00:59:21,258 --> 00:59:23,594
- It smells like money.
- Yeah.
1147
00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:29,533
- Ooh, girl.
- Other room?
1148
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,671
Does it matter?
1149
00:59:39,376 --> 00:59:41,378
Is this how the other half lives?
1150
00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:48,318
You know, this place
feels really familiar.
1151
00:59:48,452 --> 00:59:50,788
Like I've been here before or something.
1152
00:59:51,622 --> 00:59:53,423
In your dreams, Lizzie.
1153
00:59:53,557 --> 00:59:56,493
You have to get past three
deadbolts and an alarm system.
1154
00:59:56,627 --> 00:59:59,296
Plus, they got guns.
1155
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:03,701
I don't mean now, Billie.
1156
01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:05,269
I meant when I was a little girl.
1157
01:00:06,003 --> 01:00:07,404
I remember my mom dropping me off
1158
01:00:07,537 --> 01:00:09,573
at this big, beautiful townhouse
1159
01:00:09,707 --> 01:00:11,108
for a birthday party when I was five.
1160
01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:14,712
I didn't know any
of the other kids, so I just...
1161
01:00:14,845 --> 01:00:17,314
wandered around the house and I got lost.
1162
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,616
I almost fell down a flight
of stairs into the basement
1163
01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:22,853
when this little boy
grabbed my arm and rescued me.
1164
01:00:24,822 --> 01:00:26,824
- Rescued you, huh?
- Mm-hm.
1165
01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:32,930
- Hey, Lizzie.
- Yeah?
1166
01:00:33,063 --> 01:00:35,833
Look at this photo. It's George.
1167
01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:37,902
And Jonathan.
1168
01:00:40,104 --> 01:00:42,606
Lizzie, that little boy that rescued you...
1169
01:00:43,741 --> 01:00:46,010
- was George Barrow.
- What?
1170
01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:48,512
Oh, my God.
Billie, you're right.
1171
01:00:50,848 --> 01:00:52,549
This is George Barrow's house.
1172
01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,053
But hold on a second.
1173
01:00:56,854 --> 01:01:00,157
How could George be so generous
to a group of complete strangers
1174
01:01:00,290 --> 01:01:02,659
and so cruel to someone
who he grew up with,
1175
01:01:02,793 --> 01:01:04,128
practically like his brother?
1176
01:01:05,095 --> 01:01:06,130
I don't know.
1177
01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:10,200
How could Jonathan be
so hot in the Columbia t-shirt?
1178
01:01:15,239 --> 01:01:17,041
Billie, George just texted me.
1179
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,877
He wants to meet up with me right now.
1180
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:21,846
- For what?
- I don't know.
1181
01:01:21,979 --> 01:01:24,514
Do we have to go back to work
or can we go check this out?
1182
01:01:24,648 --> 01:01:26,216
You sure you don't wanna
trash his house first?
1183
01:01:26,951 --> 01:01:28,252
No, let's go.
1184
01:01:28,385 --> 01:01:30,420
Let's go. Bye, Jonathan.
1185
01:01:44,468 --> 01:01:45,569
There he is.
1186
01:02:03,420 --> 01:02:04,521
What was that?
1187
01:02:08,325 --> 01:02:10,160
Oh, my God, Billie.
1188
01:02:10,294 --> 01:02:12,997
George wrote me an actual letter by hand
1189
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,499
and he sealed the envelope with wax.
1190
01:02:15,632 --> 01:02:18,068
- Just rip it open and read it.
- Okay, okay.
1191
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:26,743
"Dearest Elizabeth, I know that
you will never sell me your home
1192
01:02:26,877 --> 01:02:28,979
"after what you believe
I have done to Tommy Leroy,
1193
01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,115
"so I won't attempt to make an offer.
1194
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,784
"All I ask is that you read this letter
1195
01:02:33,918 --> 01:02:35,786
"explaining what really happened
1196
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:38,122
"and give me a chance
to clear my good name."
1197
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,723
Oh, my God. This can't be real.
1198
01:02:40,724 --> 01:02:42,927
"Then five years ago,
I went away on a trip to Africa
1199
01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:46,130
"with my friend, Jonathan,
to dig wells to fight malaria.
1200
01:02:46,263 --> 01:02:47,798
"When I got back,
I discovered that Tommy
1201
01:02:47,932 --> 01:02:51,401
"had forged my signature
on a building permit
1202
01:02:51,535 --> 01:02:53,303
"and was getting ready to turn the home
1203
01:02:53,437 --> 01:02:55,639
"in our family for almost 200 years--"
1204
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:58,242
"Into multi-million dollar condos
1205
01:02:58,375 --> 01:03:00,244
"and pocket the money for himself.
1206
01:03:01,078 --> 01:03:03,948
"I was shocked and angered
by Tommy's betrayal,
1207
01:03:04,081 --> 01:03:07,417
"but I promised my mother that
I would keep the matter private
1208
01:03:07,551 --> 01:03:10,654
"so as not to tarnish
the reputation of our family
1209
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,890
"and that of
the real estate business we own.
1210
01:03:14,624 --> 01:03:16,961
"I have always loved you,
Elizabeth Perry."
1211
01:03:17,094 --> 01:03:18,728
- Elizabeth Perry.
- "Ever since the day
1212
01:03:18,863 --> 01:03:20,230
"at my birthday party when I saved you
1213
01:03:20,364 --> 01:03:21,598
"from falling down the stairs.
1214
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:24,468
"You are the damsel in distress
1215
01:03:24,601 --> 01:03:26,170
"that I have always wanted to rescue.
1216
01:03:27,104 --> 01:03:30,207
"But now I feel that the person
who really needs rescuing is me.
1217
01:03:31,408 --> 01:03:33,844
"Without you, I am lost...
1218
01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:36,881
"with no hope of the feelings that I have
1219
01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:39,649
"for you and your townhouse
ever being reciprocated.
1220
01:03:39,783 --> 01:03:41,818
"I remain your faithful servant.
1221
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:43,787
"G. Fitzwilliam Barrow."
1222
01:03:48,258 --> 01:03:49,927
I think you're about to get laid, girl.
1223
01:03:53,297 --> 01:03:55,799
I am such an idiot.
1224
01:03:55,933 --> 01:03:58,202
All I had to do
was stick out my foot for him
1225
01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:00,470
to put a glass slipper on, and instead,
1226
01:04:00,604 --> 01:04:02,873
I kick him out the door because I believe
1227
01:04:03,007 --> 01:04:05,575
that scam artist, Tommy Leroy.
1228
01:04:05,709 --> 01:04:07,411
I mean, I guess it's not too late to call
1229
01:04:07,544 --> 01:04:10,147
sleazy Sal Carmine
and take him up on his offer.
1230
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:15,219
Lizzie, that's no way
to talk about my boyfriend.
1231
01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:19,356
Your boyfriend?
What are you talking about?
1232
01:04:19,489 --> 01:04:21,558
Well, remember the night of the blackout
1233
01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:23,493
when you had a Sal over
for wine and cupcakes
1234
01:04:23,627 --> 01:04:25,262
to talk about
the new mortgage on the house?
1235
01:04:25,395 --> 01:04:27,064
Yeah. How could I forget?
1236
01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,900
Well, after the power
went out on Lower Manhattan
1237
01:04:30,034 --> 01:04:32,002
and you kicked Sal out the door,
1238
01:04:32,136 --> 01:04:34,838
he went screaming down Washington Place.
1239
01:04:34,972 --> 01:04:36,941
I heard the noise, ran downstairs,
1240
01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:40,544
flung open the door,
and well, let's just say
1241
01:04:40,677 --> 01:04:43,313
he was grateful to find
a friendly port in the storm.
1242
01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:45,249
Oh, my God.
1243
01:04:45,382 --> 01:04:48,185
But Sal is married and he's bald
1244
01:04:48,318 --> 01:04:49,719
and he's short and you could just--
1245
01:04:49,853 --> 01:04:51,321
We're not all like you, Lizzie.
1246
01:04:52,122 --> 01:04:54,224
Not everyone is looking for a Mr. Darcy
1247
01:04:54,358 --> 01:04:56,961
with the uncertain
domestic bliss of marriage
1248
01:04:57,094 --> 01:04:59,329
and kids and happily ever after.
1249
01:05:00,597 --> 01:05:05,535
For me, a married Mr. Collins
will do just fine.
1250
01:05:07,071 --> 01:05:08,138
Maybe you're right.
1251
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,708
Maybe life isn't about
getting what you want,
1252
01:05:11,841 --> 01:05:14,411
it's about wanting what you get.
1253
01:05:32,062 --> 01:05:33,897
Well, I guess that's it, then.
1254
01:05:34,531 --> 01:05:36,600
Jersey City, here I come.
1255
01:05:39,569 --> 01:05:41,771
I guess I could
get a job at a different bakery,
1256
01:05:41,905 --> 01:05:43,907
even if that bakery isn't Magnolia.
1257
01:05:45,242 --> 01:05:46,710
- Uh-huh.
- And I suppose
1258
01:05:46,843 --> 01:05:48,112
I could find an apartment to rent,
1259
01:05:48,245 --> 01:05:50,614
maybe share it with a roommate.
1260
01:05:50,747 --> 01:05:54,551
Yeah, then you'll understand
how the other 99% lives.
1261
01:05:55,185 --> 01:05:56,886
I'm about to lose my house, Billie.
1262
01:05:57,021 --> 01:05:58,622
I thought you could at least sympathize.
1263
01:05:59,389 --> 01:06:00,524
- Sympathize?
- Yeah.
1264
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:03,160
Do you know how many apartments
I've been kicked out of
1265
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:04,628
since I moved to New York?
1266
01:06:04,761 --> 01:06:06,330
You think you got it tough, baby girl?
1267
01:06:06,930 --> 01:06:09,766
Try being Black, gay,
and living in the Bronx.
1268
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,836
I'm so done with you and your
white townhouse privilege.
1269
01:06:13,837 --> 01:06:15,639
Do you know how many millions of people
1270
01:06:15,772 --> 01:06:17,807
who would gladly trade places
with you in the heartbeat?
1271
01:06:17,941 --> 01:06:20,577
But I am the victim here.
1272
01:06:21,278 --> 01:06:22,779
- Are you though?
- Yeah.
1273
01:06:22,912 --> 01:06:25,015
Look how many advantages
you take for granted.
1274
01:06:26,383 --> 01:06:28,252
Two parents that adored you,
1275
01:06:28,385 --> 01:06:30,454
college degree that you did not pay for,
1276
01:06:30,587 --> 01:06:32,989
and that $20 bottle of Italian wine
1277
01:06:33,123 --> 01:06:35,025
that you drink so effortlessly.
1278
01:06:35,159 --> 01:06:38,462
I only buy Montefalco Rosso
when it's on sale.
1279
01:06:38,595 --> 01:06:39,663
Mm-hmm.
1280
01:06:41,265 --> 01:06:42,466
But maybe you're right, Billie.
1281
01:06:43,267 --> 01:06:45,202
I guess I never
looked at it that way before.
1282
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:47,037
Of course you haven't
1283
01:06:47,171 --> 01:06:48,505
because you're too busy
looking in the mirror,
1284
01:06:48,638 --> 01:06:50,140
feeling sorry for yourself.
1285
01:06:50,274 --> 01:06:51,675
Just because you sweep your fireplace
1286
01:06:51,808 --> 01:06:53,277
every once in a while
1287
01:06:53,410 --> 01:06:54,644
does not make you Cinderella, baby girl.
1288
01:06:56,780 --> 01:06:57,847
Where I'm from...
1289
01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:01,151
I'd be lucky to be able to walk
down the street in my dress
1290
01:07:01,285 --> 01:07:03,220
and my wig and not get
rocks thrown at my head.
1291
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:14,064
So, maybe I am no better
than George Barrow
1292
01:07:14,198 --> 01:07:15,899
or Kathryn Waverly or the other
1293
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:18,034
millionaire hedge funders
who live in the West Village.
1294
01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:21,505
Maybe I do deserve
to be exiled to a beach bar
1295
01:07:21,638 --> 01:07:23,873
in New Jersey where no one
has ever heard of a cornice
1296
01:07:24,007 --> 01:07:26,210
or a lintel or a dormer window.
1297
01:07:26,343 --> 01:07:29,646
Hey, now, don't be going all
Jersey Shore on me, baby girl.
1298
01:07:30,447 --> 01:07:33,117
I'm just saying, if you want
to save your townhome
1299
01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:34,884
5or at least get some serious cash for it,
1300
01:07:35,018 --> 01:07:37,221
you got to get out there
and you got to fight for it.
1301
01:07:37,354 --> 01:07:38,855
Don't be sitting around
1302
01:07:38,988 --> 01:07:40,290
waiting on Prince Charming to pay the tab.
1303
01:07:40,424 --> 01:07:42,692
- You mean--
- Yes, Lizzie.
1304
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,562
There's something you love
more than vanilla cupcakes
1305
01:07:45,695 --> 01:07:47,364
with purple frosting and sprinkles on top.
1306
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,100
Something you love more than a hot guy
1307
01:07:50,234 --> 01:07:51,868
with a tight ass and skinny jeans.
1308
01:07:52,001 --> 01:07:54,271
Oh, I don't know if that's possible.
1309
01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:59,409
Oh, my God,
Billie, you're right.
1310
01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:00,810
It's my townhouse.
1311
01:08:01,511 --> 01:08:04,581
That 18-foot wide, broken down
fixer-upper of a townhouse
1312
01:08:04,714 --> 01:08:06,650
that I grew up in on Washington Place.
1313
01:08:07,351 --> 01:08:09,119
The place where literally nothing works
1314
01:08:09,253 --> 01:08:10,887
and everything's held together
with scotch tape
1315
01:08:11,020 --> 01:08:12,289
and rubber bands.
1316
01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:13,790
The place that's always just
1317
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:15,825
on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
1318
01:08:16,660 --> 01:08:19,129
That scorching hot mess pile of bricks...
1319
01:08:20,530 --> 01:08:21,598
is me.
1320
01:08:27,737 --> 01:08:29,573
- Detective Ortiz.
- Detective Ortiz.
1321
01:08:29,706 --> 01:08:31,775
Can I offer you a cupcake?
It's on the house.
1322
01:08:31,908 --> 01:08:33,777
And those cupcakes do look tasty,
1323
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:36,813
but this time I think I'll pass.
1324
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:38,848
I came in to check your security tape.
1325
01:08:38,982 --> 01:08:40,517
Uh, it looks like the Gucci Bandit
1326
01:08:40,650 --> 01:08:42,286
is back out on the loose.
1327
01:08:42,419 --> 01:08:44,087
The Gucci Bandit?
1328
01:08:44,221 --> 01:08:45,822
Yeah, he's a burglar
who breaks into people's homes
1329
01:08:45,955 --> 01:08:48,492
wearing Gucci sandals,
steals their credit cards,
1330
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,427
and goes on a shopping spree.
1331
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,363
Okay, but what does that
have to do with us?
1332
01:08:53,497 --> 01:08:55,365
Well, it looks like he's taking a show
1333
01:08:55,499 --> 01:08:56,966
on the road to Bleaker Street.
1334
01:08:57,100 --> 01:08:58,768
According to the credit card company,
1335
01:08:58,902 --> 01:09:01,305
he was in here sometime
yesterday before 3:00 P.M.
1336
01:09:01,438 --> 01:09:03,373
We were off yesterday, but sure, why not?
1337
01:09:03,507 --> 01:09:05,442
If he was in here,
he'd be on tape somewhere.
1338
01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:08,278
Sure you don't want a cupcake?
1339
01:09:08,412 --> 01:09:09,979
You are a temptress, Liz Perry.
1340
01:09:10,113 --> 01:09:11,681
Liz, can you help me here?
1341
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:13,517
I don't think I was here
for this training session.
1342
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:15,118
Yeah, sure, um,
1343
01:09:15,252 --> 01:09:17,020
It should just be--
1344
01:09:24,328 --> 01:09:27,997
Busted on Bleaker. We got him.
1345
01:09:28,131 --> 01:09:29,266
Good work, Liz.
1346
01:09:29,399 --> 01:09:31,201
Just email me the clip.
1347
01:09:31,335 --> 01:09:32,802
Wait, there's somebody else on tape
1348
01:09:32,936 --> 01:09:34,271
walking to the store.
1349
01:09:34,404 --> 01:09:35,805
Oh my God.
1350
01:09:35,939 --> 01:09:37,374
I'd recognize that butt anywhere.
1351
01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:39,376
It's Tommy Leroy.
1352
01:09:39,943 --> 01:09:42,379
He's writing a check for some cupcakes
1353
01:09:42,512 --> 01:09:45,048
using the checkbook
for our home equity credit line.
1354
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:46,650
Detective Ortiz,
1355
01:09:46,783 --> 01:09:48,418
I'd like to make a citizen's arrest.
1356
01:09:48,552 --> 01:09:51,087
Come down to the station
and file a report, okay?
1357
01:09:51,221 --> 01:09:52,822
Never trust a man a skinny jeans.
1358
01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:54,658
Yeah.
1359
01:09:54,791 --> 01:09:56,993
We caught Tommy Leroy on
video camera with our checkbook,
1360
01:09:57,126 --> 01:09:59,396
but that doesn't bring back the $100,000.
1361
01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:02,566
And we need to pay back
the entire loan by Monday.
1362
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,935
Our only choice is to sell the house
1363
01:10:06,069 --> 01:10:07,704
to the first person who walks in that door
1364
01:10:07,837 --> 01:10:09,473
with the biggest bag full of cash.
1365
01:10:09,606 --> 01:10:11,241
Which means that we need to start painting
1366
01:10:11,375 --> 01:10:13,577
and cleaning ASAP to get it
ready for the open house.
1367
01:10:13,710 --> 01:10:16,012
If we all pick up a brush
in the mop right now,
1368
01:10:16,145 --> 01:10:17,981
we should be done by Saturday.
1369
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:20,917
And once I take the pictures,
make the video,
1370
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,819
and post the ad on Street Easy,
1371
01:10:22,952 --> 01:10:24,888
we'll be ready for the open
house on Sunday afternoon.
1372
01:10:25,021 --> 01:10:27,657
And that's where I come in,
to find the mystery buyer
1373
01:10:27,791 --> 01:10:30,327
with a big bank roll in his briefcase.
1374
01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:32,095
We know you'll find a someone, Sophie.
1375
01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:34,063
I texted Charlotte.
1376
01:10:34,197 --> 01:10:36,032
She should be here any minute
with the cleaning supplies.
1377
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:42,772
Let's clean my little dust bunnies.
1378
01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:44,274
Let's.
1379
01:10:49,879 --> 01:10:54,384
♪ Yeah, it's come to this,
world's falling all around us ♪
1380
01:10:54,518 --> 01:10:57,554
♪ Will we make it out alive? ♪
1381
01:10:59,055 --> 01:11:01,057
♪ Now that we've come this far ♪
1382
01:11:01,190 --> 01:11:03,627
♪ Come on, sisters, get together ♪
1383
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:07,130
♪ And bring the city to its knees ♪
1384
01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:09,165
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1385
01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:12,068
♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪
1386
01:11:12,201 --> 01:11:14,037
♪ Gotta speak up ♪
1387
01:11:14,170 --> 01:11:16,373
♪ Be a fighter when something's
worth fighting for ♪
1388
01:11:16,506 --> 01:11:18,475
♪ Never give up ♪
1389
01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:21,911
♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪
1390
01:11:22,045 --> 01:11:26,049
♪ Better believe we'll
find out what we're made of ♪
1391
01:11:26,182 --> 01:11:28,752
♪ Keep your head up, just keep smiling ♪
1392
01:11:41,731 --> 01:11:45,001
So, you'll never guess
who I ran into today.
1393
01:11:46,102 --> 01:11:47,604
Well, I guess
you're going to tell me, mother,
1394
01:11:47,737 --> 01:11:49,138
and I have no choice but to listen.
1395
01:11:49,272 --> 01:11:51,140
Elizabeth Perry.
1396
01:11:51,274 --> 01:11:53,643
The girl who lives in that
trashy, little townhouse
1397
01:11:53,777 --> 01:11:55,945
over on Washington Place
with her two sisters.
1398
01:11:56,079 --> 01:11:59,783
Oh, and what did she have to say, mother?
1399
01:11:59,916 --> 01:12:02,519
Well, she told me she's
putting her house on the market
1400
01:12:02,652 --> 01:12:05,522
and that she and her two sisters
are hosting an open house
1401
01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:08,458
tomorrow afternoon and that
they're prepared to sell
1402
01:12:08,592 --> 01:12:12,328
to the highest bidder,
even if that bidder is you.
1403
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,964
- Really?
- So it's true
1404
01:12:15,098 --> 01:12:16,466
that you've offered to buy their house?
1405
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:19,102
Or is that just inter-webs gossip?
1406
01:12:19,235 --> 01:12:21,838
Well, I very much doubt that she'd be
1407
01:12:21,971 --> 01:12:23,673
willing to sell to me, mother.
1408
01:12:23,807 --> 01:12:25,274
She thinks I'm an asshole
1409
01:12:25,409 --> 01:12:27,210
who wouldn't help his own grandmother
1410
01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:28,945
cross Bleaker Street.
1411
01:12:29,078 --> 01:12:31,548
Of course she would, sweetheart.
1412
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:35,051
You're still the Prince Charming
of West Village real estate.
1413
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:38,488
Any girl would pay gold just
to meet you for a cup of coffee
1414
01:12:38,622 --> 01:12:42,191
or Tesla stock, Bitcoin,
or whatever's hot these days.
1415
01:12:42,325 --> 01:12:45,228
Oh, mother, I am tired
of living here with you
1416
01:12:45,361 --> 01:12:48,164
in the shadow of my great
great grandfather's portrait.
1417
01:12:49,966 --> 01:12:52,168
All I want is to be like-- like--
1418
01:12:52,301 --> 01:12:54,571
like everybody else
1419
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:56,773
who comes to the West Village to have fun.
1420
01:13:15,191 --> 01:13:17,894
- Fucking awesome.
- George Barrow!
1421
01:13:18,027 --> 01:13:21,064
We do not use language
like that in this household.
1422
01:13:21,197 --> 01:13:24,167
And we most certainly do not eat pizza.
1423
01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:28,438
Why don't we? John's Pizzeria is
two blocks away from our house.
1424
01:13:28,572 --> 01:13:30,206
They have the best pizza
in the West Village.
1425
01:13:30,339 --> 01:13:32,742
You always told me
that we couldn't go there
1426
01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:34,744
because they have rats in their basement.
1427
01:13:35,512 --> 01:13:37,547
I honestly don't care if they
have rats in their basement.
1428
01:13:37,681 --> 01:13:39,348
Their pizza is awesome.
1429
01:13:39,483 --> 01:13:43,119
But, George, you'll get fat!
1430
01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:45,555
Cool. Then maybe all these girls
1431
01:13:45,689 --> 01:13:48,925
who think I'm Mr. Darcy
will stop chasing me.
1432
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:54,998
Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna go
try one of the slices at Joe's.
1433
01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:59,836
Oh, it's a mighty fine slice, mother.
1434
01:14:00,670 --> 01:14:03,072
Mighty fine slice, mother.
1435
01:14:18,888 --> 01:14:20,123
Hi.
1436
01:14:21,424 --> 01:14:22,559
Hi.
1437
01:14:22,692 --> 01:14:24,728
- Hi.
- Hello.
1438
01:14:35,271 --> 01:14:36,405
Wow.
1439
01:14:40,877 --> 01:14:42,111
It's gorgeous.
1440
01:14:42,245 --> 01:14:43,479
Nah, it's too bright.
1441
01:14:44,447 --> 01:14:45,582
Okay.
1442
01:14:46,750 --> 01:14:48,785
- Thank you.
- Thank you for coming.
1443
01:14:55,592 --> 01:14:58,227
Well, at least we tried.
1444
01:14:58,361 --> 01:15:00,129
I'm sure we can find
a decent place to rent
1445
01:15:00,263 --> 01:15:02,198
in New Jersey when they take the house.
1446
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,734
Or Florida. I heard
it's pretty cheap down there.
1447
01:15:05,368 --> 01:15:07,904
- Where's Sophie anyway?
- Does it matter?
1448
01:15:08,037 --> 01:15:09,539
It's not like she's getting a commission.
1449
01:15:13,977 --> 01:15:17,180
Girls, I just took a full price offer.
1450
01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:19,315
All cash!
1451
01:15:19,448 --> 01:15:22,018
And I spoke with the bank
and they have agreed
1452
01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:24,120
to put the foreclosure on hold.
1453
01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:28,291
We did it, we did it, we did it!
1454
01:15:29,959 --> 01:15:32,028
Hold on. What's the catch?
There has to be one.
1455
01:15:32,161 --> 01:15:35,632
Well, the buyer wants
to meet with Liz right here,
1456
01:15:35,765 --> 01:15:39,235
right now, alone,
with no one else in the room.
1457
01:15:40,103 --> 01:15:42,739
Good luck.
1458
01:15:48,845 --> 01:15:51,280
- May I come in?
- Of course.
1459
01:15:56,485 --> 01:15:57,553
Thanks, Sophie.
1460
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:05,629
Please let me explain,
Elizabeth.
1461
01:16:05,762 --> 01:16:07,731
And this time,
I beg you not kick me out
1462
01:16:07,864 --> 01:16:09,599
until you've heard the entire story.
1463
01:16:12,268 --> 01:16:13,770
The only reason
I've offered to buy your home
1464
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:15,639
is to save it from foreclosure,
1465
01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:18,274
so that you and your sisters
can continue to live here.
1466
01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:21,044
I will not combine it
with any other property
1467
01:16:21,177 --> 01:16:22,879
or make it part
of the development that you have
1468
01:16:23,012 --> 01:16:25,281
so rightly called
a hedge funder Disneyland.
1469
01:16:26,850 --> 01:16:29,552
I promise that after the deal closes,
1470
01:16:29,686 --> 01:16:32,689
I will walk away and never again
darken your door.
1471
01:16:32,822 --> 01:16:34,624
- But--
- Please don't refuse my offer.
1472
01:16:34,758 --> 01:16:36,693
It's honestly the least I can do.
1473
01:16:36,826 --> 01:16:39,362
If I had reported
Tommy Leroy to the police
1474
01:16:39,495 --> 01:16:41,731
after he tried to steal my family's home,
1475
01:16:41,865 --> 01:16:44,100
he would not have been free to walk in,
1476
01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:46,369
steal your home equity
credit line checkbook,
1477
01:16:46,502 --> 01:16:48,772
and draw down the $100,000 dollars
1478
01:16:48,905 --> 01:16:51,374
that nearly cost
you and your family your home.
1479
01:16:51,507 --> 01:16:53,643
Or to bounce a check
in the Magnolia Bakery
1480
01:16:53,777 --> 01:16:56,345
to buy a dozen cupcakes
for his ex-girlfriend
1481
01:16:56,479 --> 01:16:57,814
in the apartment upstairs.
1482
01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:01,517
But I guess you already knew that
1483
01:17:01,651 --> 01:17:03,586
since you're the one
who busted him on tape.
1484
01:17:04,988 --> 01:17:06,923
Detective Ortiz told me the whole story.
1485
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:10,293
You're my hero, Liz Perry.
1486
01:17:11,327 --> 01:17:13,629
Well, let's just say
I'm a woman of many talents.
1487
01:17:15,398 --> 01:17:17,801
So, do you still think
1488
01:17:17,934 --> 01:17:19,703
I'm the biggest asshole
in the West Village?
1489
01:17:21,137 --> 01:17:24,607
No, George.
I think you're amazing.
1490
01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:27,844
And so was your big, beautiful townhouse
1491
01:17:27,977 --> 01:17:29,478
at 59 Morton Street.
1492
01:17:29,612 --> 01:17:31,347
The place where you saved me
1493
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,182
from falling down the stairs
at your birthday party
1494
01:17:33,316 --> 01:17:34,818
when I was five.
1495
01:17:34,951 --> 01:17:36,519
I'm amazed that you remember.
1496
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:38,788
You were so little.
1497
01:17:38,922 --> 01:17:40,623
But I'm two years older
and I never forgot.
1498
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:44,460
I've always had a crush on you, Liz Perry.
1499
01:17:45,594 --> 01:17:47,797
It was just easier for me
to act like a jerk
1500
01:17:47,931 --> 01:17:50,133
than to admit it and maybe find out
1501
01:17:50,266 --> 01:17:51,801
that you didn't love me
1502
01:17:51,935 --> 01:17:54,771
as much as I've always loved you.
1503
01:18:01,845 --> 01:18:03,146
Hold on, Liz Perry.
1504
01:18:03,279 --> 01:18:05,915
Before we get too carried away,
1505
01:18:06,482 --> 01:18:07,751
there's something
I have to show you
1506
01:18:07,884 --> 01:18:09,318
about your charming, little townhouse
1507
01:18:09,452 --> 01:18:11,654
that you may not have noticed.
1508
01:18:21,731 --> 01:18:23,733
- Here, just in case.
- Ah. Perfect.
1509
01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,235
Follow me.
1510
01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:29,705
Uh, George,
1511
01:18:29,839 --> 01:18:31,307
what are we doing in my basement?
1512
01:18:32,008 --> 01:18:33,376
Trust me.
1513
01:18:37,781 --> 01:18:39,348
It must be around here somewhere.
1514
01:18:40,850 --> 01:18:41,918
What?
1515
01:18:43,987 --> 01:18:45,054
A-ha.
1516
01:18:47,056 --> 01:18:49,658
Lizzie, could you hold this?
1517
01:18:49,793 --> 01:18:51,227
Sure.
1518
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:03,572
Uh, hey, George, quick question.
1519
01:19:03,706 --> 01:19:07,076
Why do you have a key
to a lock in my basement?
1520
01:19:07,210 --> 01:19:08,611
Wait and see.
1521
01:19:22,458 --> 01:19:23,960
Uh, George?
1522
01:19:24,093 --> 01:19:25,962
When are you going to
tell me what's going on?
1523
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:28,397
Sometimes, Liz, there are connections
1524
01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:31,868
you didn't know existed
that were there all along.
1525
01:19:33,069 --> 01:19:34,570
What does that mean?
1526
01:19:43,446 --> 01:19:46,049
Oh, my God, George.
We're in your parlor.
1527
01:19:55,024 --> 01:19:56,725
There's the portrait of Captain Barrow.
1528
01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:59,062
Ah, and the guns.
1529
01:20:01,430 --> 01:20:04,267
But hold on a second.
How did we get here?
1530
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:05,434
Allow me to explain.
1531
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:08,304
The same day that you came to see my house
1532
01:20:08,437 --> 01:20:10,006
for the Spring House benefit tour,
1533
01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:11,540
I went to the library to check out
1534
01:20:11,674 --> 01:20:13,476
the old fire insurance maps.
1535
01:20:13,609 --> 01:20:17,513
It turns out our two houses
are connected underground.
1536
01:20:17,646 --> 01:20:18,647
- What?
- They've been that way
1537
01:20:18,781 --> 01:20:19,782
for over a century.
1538
01:20:19,916 --> 01:20:21,684
So wait. You mean--
1539
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:23,552
Yes, that my mother can no longer
1540
01:20:23,686 --> 01:20:27,223
object to us uniting our
two houses and tying the knot.
1541
01:20:31,260 --> 01:20:32,761
But, wait, doesn't your mother hate me
1542
01:20:32,896 --> 01:20:34,697
and my 18-foot wide townhouse?
1543
01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:36,532
When I showed her on the map
that Captain Barrow
1544
01:20:36,665 --> 01:20:38,434
had built a tunnel,
so that he could hook up
1545
01:20:38,567 --> 01:20:40,937
with his third cousin
and true love, Betsy Washington,
1546
01:20:41,070 --> 01:20:42,371
she caved immediately.
1547
01:20:42,505 --> 01:20:44,307
But isn't your mother
1548
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:47,476
all business, super broker
Kathryn Waverly and all that?
1549
01:20:47,610 --> 01:20:50,346
Oh, no, Kathryn Waverly
is a hopeless romantic
1550
01:20:50,479 --> 01:20:53,316
just like you, Lizzie.
A huge Pride and Prejudice fan.
1551
01:20:53,449 --> 01:20:54,951
That's why she named me Fitzwilliam.
1552
01:20:56,152 --> 01:20:58,321
But-- but you can...
1553
01:21:00,156 --> 01:21:01,390
just call me George.
1554
01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:06,429
This is no time for big
romantic speeches, George.
1555
01:21:06,562 --> 01:21:08,597
We've got to get out of here now.
1556
01:21:08,731 --> 01:21:10,333
What are you talking about, mother?
1557
01:21:10,466 --> 01:21:12,568
I'm in the middle
of proposing to Liz Perry.
1558
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:14,370
Aren't you glad that I'm
actually interested in girls?
1559
01:21:14,503 --> 01:21:16,572
Oh, don't worry about that, George.
1560
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:18,241
I already knew that you and Elizabeth
1561
01:21:18,374 --> 01:21:19,909
would end up together.
1562
01:21:20,043 --> 01:21:21,377
Don't forget,
I've read the book five times
1563
01:21:21,510 --> 01:21:23,446
and seen the entire BBC series.
1564
01:21:23,579 --> 01:21:25,048
- Here.
- That's bullshit.
1565
01:21:25,181 --> 01:21:26,715
I'm gonna fuck 'em up real bad.
1566
01:21:26,849 --> 01:21:28,584
- They're here.
- Who's here, mother?
1567
01:21:28,717 --> 01:21:31,020
No time to explain.
Just follow me.
1568
01:21:31,154 --> 01:21:32,221
Okay.
1569
01:21:39,795 --> 01:21:41,830
George! George!
1570
01:21:41,965 --> 01:21:43,899
Where are you?
I know you're here.
1571
01:21:44,033 --> 01:21:46,269
Where the fuck is he?
1572
01:21:47,003 --> 01:21:48,504
Tommy, you said you were gonna bring us
1573
01:21:48,637 --> 01:21:49,705
right to him, what happened?
1574
01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:53,842
The big boss is gonna be mad.
1575
01:21:53,977 --> 01:21:55,444
I grew up in this house.
1576
01:21:55,578 --> 01:21:57,380
I know what they went.
Follow me.
1577
01:22:15,464 --> 01:22:17,366
George, what is this place?
1578
01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:20,503
This is where my family
hid enslaved Africans
1579
01:22:20,636 --> 01:22:22,972
before the Civil War
to help them escape to freedom.
1580
01:22:23,472 --> 01:22:26,075
No way. I thought you guys
were white supremacists.
1581
01:22:26,209 --> 01:22:28,311
This is no time
for a history lesson, George.
1582
01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:31,247
Tommy's probably leading them
us right to us as we speak.
1583
01:22:31,380 --> 01:22:33,282
We need to secure the hatch.
Elizabeth, you.
1584
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:34,483
Okay?
1585
01:22:36,352 --> 01:22:37,953
Ah!
1586
01:22:40,523 --> 01:22:42,491
Oh, hey, Georgie boy.
1587
01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:45,261
I got a couple of guys here
who want to talk to you.
1588
01:22:47,196 --> 01:22:48,964
Where's my fucking money, Georgie?
1589
01:22:49,098 --> 01:22:50,166
Who is that?
1590
01:22:51,700 --> 01:22:53,002
Sal Carmine?
1591
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:54,903
What the hell are you doing here?
1592
01:22:55,038 --> 01:22:56,805
I'm not here for you, Lizzie.
Sorry.
1593
01:22:56,939 --> 01:22:59,675
I'm here for Georgie.
Time's up, buddy.
1594
01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:01,810
Just give him the money, George.
1595
01:23:01,944 --> 01:23:04,313
They're not gonna hurt you or Mom.
1596
01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:05,514
Hold this.
1597
01:23:07,350 --> 01:23:08,451
George, what are you doing?
1598
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:13,389
Elizabeth Washington Perry.
1599
01:23:13,522 --> 01:23:16,159
Would you do me the honor
of accepting this ring?
1600
01:23:16,292 --> 01:23:18,094
Oh, George, of course I will.
1601
01:23:19,128 --> 01:23:22,165
Georgie, if I don't get my fucking money,
1602
01:23:22,298 --> 01:23:24,633
one of you people up here's
gonna end up on the sidewalk
1603
01:23:24,767 --> 01:23:26,135
- like a fucking pancake.
- Hey.
1604
01:23:26,269 --> 01:23:28,371
Put that gun down
or I'mma break your face.
1605
01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:30,873
Do you have any idea how
hard it is for a woman over 30
1606
01:23:31,006 --> 01:23:33,376
to find a single straight man
south of 14th street?
1607
01:23:38,981 --> 01:23:41,450
Yes, George Fitzwilliam Barrow,
1608
01:23:41,584 --> 01:23:44,953
you sweet, shy,
townhouse loving mama's boy.
1609
01:23:45,621 --> 01:23:47,123
Of course, I will marry you.
1610
01:23:47,956 --> 01:23:51,026
I've loved you since I was five
and you were seven.
1611
01:23:52,495 --> 01:23:54,563
I was just too blind to see it.
1612
01:24:04,473 --> 01:24:06,509
Hey, Barrow gang.
1613
01:24:06,642 --> 01:24:09,678
- Get down off that roof now.
- Oh.
1614
01:24:09,812 --> 01:24:12,615
Detective Ortiz, it's me, Liz Perry.
1615
01:24:12,748 --> 01:24:14,583
I'm up here with Tommy Leroy, Sal Carmine,
1616
01:24:14,717 --> 01:24:16,452
and some other guy from the mafia.
1617
01:24:16,585 --> 01:24:19,555
I'm also up here with my fiancé,
George Barrow,
1618
01:24:19,688 --> 01:24:21,056
and his mom, Kathryn Waverly.
1619
01:24:21,190 --> 01:24:23,692
Wow. Liz. Congrats.
1620
01:24:23,826 --> 01:24:26,229
I didn't realize you was dating George.
1621
01:24:26,362 --> 01:24:28,697
Oh, me neither, this just
happened like an hour ago.
1622
01:24:28,831 --> 01:24:30,866
Did you say
Tommy Leroy's up there?
1623
01:24:30,999 --> 01:24:32,801
I got a warrant for his arrest.
1624
01:24:32,935 --> 01:24:34,570
A warrant for what?
1625
01:24:34,703 --> 01:24:36,305
Grand larceny in the fourth degree:
1626
01:24:36,439 --> 01:24:38,141
theft of merchandise.
1627
01:24:38,274 --> 01:24:39,775
Grand larceny?
1628
01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:41,244
For bouncing the check on a dozen cupcakes
1629
01:24:41,377 --> 01:24:43,011
for my girlfriend?
1630
01:24:43,146 --> 01:24:44,747
You bought a total of 240 cupcakes
1631
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:48,384
at the Magnolia Bakery at $3.95 a pop.
1632
01:24:48,517 --> 01:24:51,086
So, I got cupcakes
for all my ex-girlfriends.
1633
01:24:51,220 --> 01:24:52,721
Is that a crime?
1634
01:24:52,855 --> 01:24:56,058
You can't arrest
Tommy Leroy for grand larceny.
1635
01:24:56,192 --> 01:24:58,127
That's $948.
1636
01:24:58,261 --> 01:25:01,464
The statutory limit in
the state of New York is 1000.
1637
01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:03,966
Pendejo, you forgot to include the tax.
1638
01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:07,102
Come on down, Tommy. It's over.
1639
01:25:08,070 --> 01:25:09,138
Howdy, boys.
1640
01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:11,407
You know the drill.
Stand over there.
1641
01:25:11,540 --> 01:25:15,478
Tommy Leroy,
1642
01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:18,147
you are under arrest, my friend.
1643
01:25:18,281 --> 01:25:20,849
For what?
Having a couple of fat ham hogs?
1644
01:25:20,983 --> 01:25:23,419
Or soaking half the skirts
in the West Village, huh?
1645
01:25:26,489 --> 01:25:28,424
FBI. You're under arrest.
Come on.
1646
01:25:28,557 --> 01:25:30,259
I thought we were brothers
from another mother.
1647
01:25:30,393 --> 01:25:31,627
Come on. You're under arrest.
1648
01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:33,028
Is this what you do to family?
1649
01:25:33,162 --> 01:25:34,463
You ain't family.
1650
01:25:34,597 --> 01:25:36,365
Where's my money, Big Sal?
1651
01:25:36,499 --> 01:25:38,801
Sophia. Big boss.
1652
01:25:40,336 --> 01:25:42,171
Never send a man to do a woman's job.
1653
01:25:42,305 --> 01:25:43,906
That's what I always say.
1654
01:25:44,039 --> 01:25:45,841
But now that George
has given me the briefcase
1655
01:25:45,974 --> 01:25:48,677
full of cash, I'm willing to
consider your debt paid in full.
1656
01:25:49,312 --> 01:25:51,647
So the 500K stays with me.
1657
01:25:51,780 --> 01:25:54,116
All's well that ends well
and all that crap.
1658
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:55,418
This time.
1659
01:25:56,219 --> 01:25:58,821
But tell your boys to stay
on the Jersey side of the river
1660
01:25:58,954 --> 01:26:01,357
and don't dare cross to my side.
1661
01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:04,927
Oh, and give your mother my regards.
1662
01:26:05,060 --> 01:26:07,663
You know, it wouldn't kill her
to call me once in a while.
1663
01:26:09,465 --> 01:26:11,099
Come on, let's get you home.
1664
01:26:11,234 --> 01:26:12,701
- Get him out of here.
- Fucking scumbag.
1665
01:26:12,835 --> 01:26:14,370
Sal! Sal!
1666
01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:17,873
Oh, Sal!
I heard the commotion.
1667
01:26:18,006 --> 01:26:21,510
And I can't believe
I'm dating an FBI agent.
1668
01:26:21,644 --> 01:26:23,912
Oh, not just some
1669
01:26:24,046 --> 01:26:26,915
sleazy mortgage broker.
1670
01:26:27,049 --> 01:26:28,851
You'll still make me pasta though, right?
1671
01:26:28,984 --> 01:26:31,387
- Whatever you want, baby.
- Oh, yes.
1672
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:33,756
Come on.
1673
01:26:33,889 --> 01:26:35,324
Ooh, let's go home.
1674
01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:41,430
It's just almost too much to bear.
1675
01:26:42,030 --> 01:26:44,267
I can only hope
that one day you find someone
1676
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:48,504
who brings you as much happiness
as George Barrow brings me.
1677
01:26:50,138 --> 01:26:51,206
I don't know, honey.
1678
01:26:52,575 --> 01:26:55,043
I made the mistake of
falling in love with the one guy
1679
01:26:55,177 --> 01:26:56,879
who could never
love me back or bring me home
1680
01:26:57,012 --> 01:26:58,180
to meet his parents.
1681
01:27:00,649 --> 01:27:02,885
- Jonathan?
- Hello.
1682
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,053
Hi. What are you doing here?
1683
01:27:05,187 --> 01:27:07,155
I thought you moved back to San Francisco.
1684
01:27:07,290 --> 01:27:10,359
I jumped on a plane the minute
that I got George's letter.
1685
01:27:10,493 --> 01:27:12,194
I mean, can you believe it?
1686
01:27:12,328 --> 01:27:14,096
The guy sat down
and wrote a letter by hand
1687
01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:16,164
using a pen and then mailed it to me
1688
01:27:16,299 --> 01:27:17,966
in an envelope with a stamp.
1689
01:27:18,100 --> 01:27:20,436
I mean, that's why it
took a week for me to get it.
1690
01:27:20,569 --> 01:27:21,637
Anyway...
1691
01:27:22,938 --> 01:27:24,307
I flew back the minute
1692
01:27:24,440 --> 01:27:26,742
that George told me that you love me.
1693
01:27:29,445 --> 01:27:32,114
Ever since that party
at the Little Branch, Billie,
1694
01:27:32,247 --> 01:27:34,249
I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you.
1695
01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:37,953
The way your nails felt on my back.
1696
01:27:39,021 --> 01:27:40,323
The way your lips felt on my--
1697
01:27:40,456 --> 01:27:43,426
Oh, hey,
PG13, we have customers.
1698
01:27:47,463 --> 01:27:48,564
Anyway...
1699
01:27:50,533 --> 01:27:53,769
you are so strong and confident,
1700
01:27:53,902 --> 01:27:56,271
so sure of your sexuality,
1701
01:27:56,405 --> 01:27:59,975
so unafraid to just go out there
and live your truth.
1702
01:28:00,108 --> 01:28:02,778
And I know
I should have texted you.
1703
01:28:02,911 --> 01:28:04,079
I'm sorry.
1704
01:28:04,547 --> 01:28:06,615
I just felt like such a coward.
1705
01:28:07,516 --> 01:28:10,152
Like I'd never be cool enough
for someone like you.
1706
01:28:11,854 --> 01:28:13,389
Just hold that thought.
1707
01:28:34,510 --> 01:28:35,878
You had me at hello.
1708
01:28:49,091 --> 01:28:51,460
Dear friends, we have come together
1709
01:28:51,594 --> 01:28:53,962
in the presence of God to celebrate
1710
01:28:54,096 --> 01:28:55,964
the marriage of these couples.
1711
01:28:56,098 --> 01:28:57,800
To surround them with our prayers
1712
01:28:57,933 --> 01:28:59,735
and to share in their joy.
1713
01:29:00,436 --> 01:29:02,938
The uniting of these persons in heart,
1714
01:29:03,071 --> 01:29:05,808
body, and mind is intended by God
1715
01:29:05,941 --> 01:29:08,777
for their mutual joy,
for the help and comfort
1716
01:29:08,911 --> 01:29:11,179
they give one another in prosperity
1717
01:29:11,313 --> 01:29:14,550
and adversity, and that
their love may be a blessing
1718
01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:16,852
to all whom they encounter.
1719
01:29:16,985 --> 01:29:20,055
If anyone knows a reason
why either of these couples
1720
01:29:20,188 --> 01:29:22,024
should not be joined in marriage,
1721
01:29:22,157 --> 01:29:25,828
I ask them to speak now
or forever hold their peace.
1722
01:29:27,162 --> 01:29:28,397
Wait!
1723
01:29:30,165 --> 01:29:31,567
Lizzie, don't do it.
1724
01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:33,101
I still have feelings for you.
1725
01:29:33,235 --> 01:29:34,403
What?
1726
01:29:36,171 --> 01:29:38,507
I'm just playing.
1727
01:29:38,641 --> 01:29:41,877
She all yours,
Georgie boy, you may proceed.
1728
01:29:42,010 --> 01:29:44,613
Behave, Leroy, or you're back in lockdown.
1729
01:29:44,747 --> 01:29:47,516
Come on.
Can't this guy take a joke?
1730
01:29:47,650 --> 01:29:51,019
Geez, Louise. Some people.
1731
01:29:51,153 --> 01:29:52,220
Anyone else?
1732
01:29:54,857 --> 01:29:57,760
I invite you to declare
your vows to one another.
1733
01:30:02,364 --> 01:30:04,032
You know
I'm ride or die for you, right?
1734
01:30:05,634 --> 01:30:06,935
Ride or die, baby.
1735
01:30:22,250 --> 01:30:23,418
I promise...
1736
01:30:25,020 --> 01:30:28,724
to adore every brick in your brownstone
1737
01:30:28,857 --> 01:30:30,459
and to cherish you
1738
01:30:30,593 --> 01:30:34,563
even when you grow old and I grow old
1739
01:30:34,697 --> 01:30:36,799
and our lintels need repointing.
1740
01:30:38,033 --> 01:30:42,437
I promise to be the sturdy
column that supports you
1741
01:30:42,571 --> 01:30:44,473
and the cornice that ornaments your life.
1742
01:30:45,608 --> 01:30:47,576
I promise to never forget the little boy
1743
01:30:47,710 --> 01:30:49,845
who rescued you
when you were a little girl.
1744
01:30:51,313 --> 01:30:54,583
And to love you for the amazing woman
1745
01:30:54,717 --> 01:30:56,418
who came back and rescued me.
1746
01:31:03,225 --> 01:31:05,594
George, I promise
1747
01:31:05,728 --> 01:31:08,330
never to forget that you are
the same amazing man
1748
01:31:08,463 --> 01:31:11,133
who rescued me when I was five
and you were seven.
1749
01:31:12,701 --> 01:31:15,170
I promise never to drink
Montefalco Rosso
1750
01:31:15,303 --> 01:31:17,005
until ten o'clock in the morning
1751
01:31:17,139 --> 01:31:19,274
unless you're the one
who's drinking with me.
1752
01:31:21,043 --> 01:31:24,112
I promise that for better or worse...
1753
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,549
in sickness and in health...
1754
01:31:28,450 --> 01:31:31,386
you will always be my one true cupcake.
1755
01:31:32,521 --> 01:31:33,656
And I yours.
1756
01:31:53,642 --> 01:31:56,144
By their promises
before God and in the presence
1757
01:31:56,278 --> 01:31:57,345
of this assembly...
1758
01:32:01,249 --> 01:32:03,118
you may kiss your beloved.
1759
01:32:45,193 --> 01:32:46,795
Hey, Townhouse Confidential.
1760
01:32:51,934 --> 01:32:53,268
Deep Park?
1761
01:32:55,237 --> 01:32:57,740
- It's you.
- I'm your biggest fan.
1762
01:32:57,873 --> 01:33:00,042
I've read every blog post you ever posted.
1763
01:33:00,175 --> 01:33:02,244
So, you're some kind of stalker?
1764
01:33:02,377 --> 01:33:04,747
I'm more like a field agent.
1765
01:33:04,880 --> 01:33:07,182
I know it's kind of hard
to do investigative reporting
1766
01:33:07,315 --> 01:33:09,051
when you never leave your house.
1767
01:33:09,184 --> 01:33:10,953
So, what are you saying?
1768
01:33:11,086 --> 01:33:12,287
I want to be your partner.
1769
01:33:13,155 --> 01:33:15,691
You on the inside, me on the outside.
1770
01:33:15,824 --> 01:33:17,626
Scooping stories, winning Pulitzers.
1771
01:33:20,929 --> 01:33:22,064
Deep Park...
1772
01:33:23,165 --> 01:33:24,933
I think that this is
going to be the beginning
1773
01:33:25,067 --> 01:33:27,469
of a beautiful friendship.
1774
01:33:44,753 --> 01:33:47,656
Spotted on Washington Place.
1775
01:33:47,790 --> 01:33:50,192
New tenants moving into the townhouse
1776
01:33:50,325 --> 01:33:54,830
Lindsay Lohan left behind
just three short months ago.
1777
01:33:54,963 --> 01:33:59,134
The fortunate newcomers
are a well-known French actress,
1778
01:33:59,267 --> 01:34:02,671
her actor-director husband,
and their children,
1779
01:34:02,805 --> 01:34:04,572
who sources say have just been accepted
1780
01:34:04,707 --> 01:34:07,342
into the prestigious
Little Red Schoolhouse.
1781
01:34:08,711 --> 01:34:12,014
In other news,
Townhouse Confidential
1782
01:34:12,147 --> 01:34:15,350
has learned that
the Perry sisters' townhouse
1783
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:18,453
has recently passed into other hands,
1784
01:34:18,586 --> 01:34:22,958
but that, according to the terms
of this unusual deal,
1785
01:34:23,091 --> 01:34:25,460
the three sisters
may continue to live there
1786
01:34:25,593 --> 01:34:28,797
rent free for as long
as they wish to do so.
1787
01:34:29,965 --> 01:34:33,401
In the words of the late,
great Jane Austin...
1788
01:34:34,837 --> 01:34:37,873
"It is a truth universally acknowledged
1789
01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:40,575
"that three scorching hot sisters
1790
01:34:40,709 --> 01:34:43,511
"who live in a West Village townhouse
1791
01:34:43,645 --> 01:34:45,580
"will not stay single for long."
1792
01:35:14,309 --> 01:35:18,146
Oh, Mother, you have no idea
what the Village holds.
1793
01:35:18,280 --> 01:35:20,883
Oil, grease, grime.
1794
01:35:21,016 --> 01:35:22,550
The trash of life.
1795
01:35:22,684 --> 01:35:23,752
The beautiful...
1796
01:35:25,153 --> 01:35:29,191
delicious, oily goodness of life, mother!
1797
01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:32,828
Oh, mother.
1798
01:35:33,796 --> 01:35:36,531
My plans. My plans have changed.
1799
01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:39,802
Get on board, mother.
1800
01:35:41,436 --> 01:35:42,905
Get on board.
1801
01:35:43,939 --> 01:35:46,141
The Barrow family is back.
1802
01:35:48,376 --> 01:35:49,577
No one's perfect.
1803
01:35:50,378 --> 01:35:52,580
Like that time Lizzie and I
hooked up on New Year's, right?
1804
01:35:52,714 --> 01:35:54,249
- Meant nothing.
- Maybe not to you,
1805
01:35:54,382 --> 01:35:55,784
but it meant something to me.
1806
01:35:55,918 --> 01:35:57,252
You didn't even text me the next day.
1807
01:35:57,385 --> 01:36:00,288
Liz, I thought we were getting married.
1808
01:36:00,422 --> 01:36:01,824
You still have feelings for Tommy?
1809
01:36:01,957 --> 01:36:03,558
No, of course not.
1810
01:36:03,691 --> 01:36:05,293
But he still could have texted me, right?
1811
01:36:12,534 --> 01:36:15,303
"The Robert and
Roberta Bethune house.
1812
01:36:15,437 --> 01:36:18,606
"Built in 1845, the Robert
and Roberta Bethune house
1813
01:36:18,740 --> 01:36:20,475
"was built for a brother and sister
1814
01:36:20,608 --> 01:36:23,111
"who lived in this
Greek Revival townhouse
1815
01:36:23,245 --> 01:36:26,314
"for 93 years without
ever venturing outside
1816
01:36:26,448 --> 01:36:27,615
"to date or marry.
1817
01:36:28,783 --> 01:36:30,919
"Well known as West Village hoarders
1818
01:36:31,053 --> 01:36:33,721
"with hundreds of cats, rumors swirled
1819
01:36:33,856 --> 01:36:36,291
"that the Bethune twins were actually--"
1820
01:36:36,424 --> 01:36:40,028
Lizzie, can we go home already.
1821
01:36:40,162 --> 01:36:42,597
Come on, we've only got
one house left anyway. Let's go.
1822
01:36:44,166 --> 01:36:48,103
♪ Keep on trying, give it
everything we've got ♪
1823
01:36:48,236 --> 01:36:51,806
♪ Gotta believe find out
what we're made of ♪
1824
01:36:51,940 --> 01:36:54,376
♪ Gonna keep my head up
just keep smiling ♪
1825
01:36:54,509 --> 01:36:57,812
♪ Even on a rainy day keep movin' ♪
1826
01:36:57,946 --> 01:37:01,016
♪ Clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪
1827
01:37:01,149 --> 01:37:03,151
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1828
01:37:03,285 --> 01:37:05,954
♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪
1829
01:37:06,588 --> 01:37:10,959
♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep
workin' every single day ♪
1830
01:37:11,093 --> 01:37:13,428
♪ There's always gonna be
another greedy grabber ♪
1831
01:37:13,561 --> 01:37:15,630
♪ There's always gonna be
another rumor gabber ♪
1832
01:37:15,763 --> 01:37:19,334
♪ Always going to have to
find a way to tow the line ♪
1833
01:37:20,235 --> 01:37:22,304
♪ And if you don't lose
your sister's trust ♪
1834
01:37:22,437 --> 01:37:24,772
♪ And if you don't lose it all and bust ♪
1835
01:37:24,907 --> 01:37:28,376
♪ Keep on working it and you'll be fine ♪
1836
01:37:28,510 --> 01:37:30,445
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1837
01:37:30,578 --> 01:37:33,181
♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪
1838
01:37:33,315 --> 01:37:35,683
♪ Gotta speak up,
Be a fighter ♪
1839
01:37:35,817 --> 01:37:39,121
♪ When something's worth
fighting for, never give up ♪
1840
01:37:39,254 --> 01:37:43,158
♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪
1841
01:37:43,291 --> 01:37:46,895
♪ Gotta believe
find out what we're made of ♪
1842
01:37:47,029 --> 01:37:51,533
♪ Keep my head up, just keep
smiling even on a rainy day ♪
1843
01:37:51,666 --> 01:37:56,171
♪ Keep movin', clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪
1844
01:37:56,304 --> 01:37:58,240
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1845
01:37:58,373 --> 01:38:01,443
♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪
1846
01:38:01,576 --> 01:38:03,946
♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep working ♪