1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:57,320 It gives one a good idea about how the fish live 4 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,480 when you play water like an instrument. 5 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,880 How did I get here? 6 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,240 How did I get here, tell me, how did I get here? 7 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,480 This story is about everyone, that's right. 8 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,960 There is no road, no road to just arrive. 9 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,680 And even today, when we came here to Setomaa, 10 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,920 then we just crossed the river Piusa. 11 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,440 We also stopped, and purchased strawberries and cucumbers. 12 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,720 And then a man came over and asked us... 13 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,360 how did you get here? Are you going to the Folk Festival? 14 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:40,000 He seemed the sort of person, sceptical of such a gathering. 15 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,080 We offered him strawberries 16 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,840 but he said "No, I don't eat grass." 17 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,240 Then we offered him a cucumber, a pickle’ 18 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,400 and he said "No, I told you, I don't eat grass." 19 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,440 Then he looked at me and asked, "What are you doing here, 20 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,200 did you come to show off your wife?" 21 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:02,040 I said "Yes, I'll go on stage, take a bow and then show my wife!" 22 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:07,840 And then he started asking, things got a little more heated, 23 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,440 he started asking to take her with him. 24 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,400 So are you giving her to me? 25 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,680 I didn't agree to that, but luckily we didn't fight. 26 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,880 And then... 27 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,280 That's how I got here, 28 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,280 that's how we arrived, the two of us. 29 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,240 I understand that Setomaa has its own laws, 30 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:34,000 but men, don't even try it. 31 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:38,560 I only came to show you my poet. 32 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,960 WALKER ON WATER 33 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:17,120 I found a poem I had written a few days ago. 34 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,320 I had completely forgotten that I wrote it. 35 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,000 Hold on, let me show you. - Yes, of course. 36 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,280 Am I the only one? 37 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,760 I could easily be the only one right now 38 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,600 who is so in love with Tartu. 39 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,880 From somewhere on the second floor, 40 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,920 a medieval-looking woman scatters cigarette ash on my head, 41 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,160 but I smile softly, no problem. 42 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,520 My body has not cooled down yet, 43 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:56,160 it is still as hot as a cigar spark whirling in the wind. 44 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:02,400 In the autumn fog in a medieval street I am the only one. 45 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:09,880 I don't know if I'll use it somewhere 46 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,040 but it's good when something starts to happen. 47 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:21,160 Somehow to overcome oneself, to get something on paper 48 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,400 and then try, I don't know, 49 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:29,960 to close an eye, even if you feel that some spot is still itching. 50 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,280 But then you think it's much better 51 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,640 if I put it on paper with that itching spot 52 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,040 than not to write down anything at all. 53 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:57,040 I just think how mum and dad liked to dismantle the sentences. 54 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:01,200 Sometimes something didn't fit, the depth of some thought, 55 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,480 or the depth of meaning, and then they had to take everything apart. 56 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,640 Start everything from the beginning. 57 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,160 First of all, to argue philosophically, 58 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,400 about what depth, what dimension is missing, and then start again. 59 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,760 It was very interesting to listen to. 60 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,440 Yeah. 61 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:28,280 It seems... I guess, it was an exciting game for a child. 62 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,480 I recall that at some point I realized they were playing. 63 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,120 They're adults, but in fact they're still playing. 64 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,400 Just like children. 65 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,440 But you probably started writing... 66 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:50,960 on that stormy night, as a child, for the first time. 67 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:55,360 First of all, was the hate letter I wrote to Piret. 68 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,240 Something happened, and I was furious with her 69 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,600 I made a poem and pasted it on her door. 70 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,960 I don't even remember. 71 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,840 Our aunt recently said, that she remembers this poem. 72 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:16,600 It was so full of power, and she's sorry it's gone missing. 73 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,440 I like such moments the most, 74 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,160 when Eliisa shows me something she started to work on, 75 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,880 or I have shown her, 76 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:31,640 and then for an evening, or half a day and half the next day too 77 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,400 we're discussing just one detail. 78 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,320 And then as a result of this discussion, 79 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,880 in fact, we change just three words 80 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,120 or write one more line. 81 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,360 Eliisa changes her poem and I change mine. 82 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,680 But it is crucial. 83 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,000 Yes, then it's done. 84 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,120 Yes, a complete sense of closure. 85 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,400 And the road there has been very interesting. 86 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:11,840 At some point, Eliisa and I became a pretty good team 87 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,720 also writing letters to boys. 88 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,120 Remember? 89 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,000 Shortly before the time of emails. 90 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,560 Well, we read to each other... 91 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,560 The letters we received. 92 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,720 And then we thought things through. 93 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,320 And then we discussed it. - What missile should we send back. 94 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:38,280 Then you come up with a very good bombshell 95 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,200 and you just have to use it, although it's not really fair, 96 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,720 since you have consulted with your sister. 97 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:50,080 I don't know, that's the way things are between men and women. 98 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,800 Very often there is teamwork behind it. 99 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,800 Everyone can express their ideas now, to share what is necessary. 100 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,960 That is true, but it's still unclear what to begin with. 101 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,360 I don't know, let's start with "Birches, Birches"? 102 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,680 That would probably be the safest. 103 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,640 It's not so terribly sad. 104 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,200 The arrangement is pretty nice. - Yes, it's beautiful. 105 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,400 It's still relatively energetic compared to some songs. 106 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:48,240 In fact, I had one more option to read from "Maternity Leave" 107 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,560 traditional fragments of foremothers, I don't know if you remember. 108 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:59,960 This would characterize Estonian family life somewhat. 109 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,320 Okay. 110 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,920 It's after a meal, isn't it? Then they all digest quietly. 111 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,160 You and your digestion... 112 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,520 And then comes the "Walker on Water." 113 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,400 It was lovely, cloudless summer's day, 114 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:52,360 your sailing ship ready to sail away. 115 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:57,320 I came to see you off with tears in my eyes, 116 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:02,680 and bitter pain of parting filling my heart. 117 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:07,880 When I got your card from Barcelona, 118 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,760 I had it framed by a goldsmith in town. 119 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:17,960 But on the road, rushing towards me, came 120 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:24,680 my neighbour Mari with the very same card. 121 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:30,560 You deceiver, what have you done to me? 122 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:35,640 It's so hard to think or talk of it. 123 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:41,160 I tore the frame from around your card 124 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:46,560 and threw all your letters into the fire. 125 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,520 It had a completely different feeling right now. Absolutely. 126 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,240 The violin gives something that you... 127 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,040 For me, somehow it brings out this pain, 128 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,680 this beautiful pain. 129 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,160 If there is only an accordion, it could seem too funny. 130 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,160 Or sound like a march. - Yes. 131 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,600 In fact, it is probably such a spontaneously born ensemble. 132 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,720 Me and Kati and Sofia had such small children. 133 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,160 Small, well, three-four-five, that age. 134 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,320 There was so little time available after them 135 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:11,800 and when we wanted to get together ourselves, it was a huge... 136 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,920 need, actually, to do something creative. 137 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:23,000 Not to be a servant all the time. 138 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:28,720 Since it was in the air all the time, a song was being born, for example, 139 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,960 then it was much easier to do the everyday work. 140 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,760 That's how I want to live all the time. 141 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,560 I gave a creative writing course in Viljandi 142 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,040 and all the time I felt I myself wanted to write 143 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,200 What a creative writing teacher I am, when I give tasks to others, 144 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,320 and do not do them myself. 145 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,960 Although it was quite difficult 146 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,320 to come up with a new task at the same time 147 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,520 when you are still doing the previous thing. 148 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,720 I had the task of lyrics 149 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:03,360 and I actually wrote it in one breath ― 150 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,600 "The Very Last Days Without Snow". 151 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,760 When I wrote it, I still didn't understand 152 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,600 that something was in the air, some great sadness, 153 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,560 such an irreversible... 154 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:19,960 Some energies were in the air, beautiful and sad. 155 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,960 And the snow still had not come, 156 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,080 though you could feel that soon the ground will be white, 157 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,840 that everything is somehow redeemed or different. 158 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:37,800 But everything is still black and muddy and it still doesn't end. 159 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,360 Then, in fact, two weeks later, my father died unexpectedly. 160 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,360 Then this song haunted me for a long time, 161 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,760 all this time until spring. 162 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,760 But I didn't want it to be such a song of mourning. 163 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,640 However, it was born with some kind of... 164 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,520 with a feeling that it was accidentally 165 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,600 expressing something from a time 166 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,400 that could not even be captured afterwards. 167 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:17,920 Then it would all have been too meaningful. 168 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:27,840 The very last days without snow... 169 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:32,640 Parks are all swept clean of leaves. 170 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:39,280 Ships full of men, women, children 171 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:44,080 sail out of the harbour to sea. 172 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:50,720 My mood is as dark as the clouds 173 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,480 and I really have little to say. 174 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:02,080 Ships moving out of the harbour 175 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,520 pass me by as they sail away. 176 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,839 I must have been 27 years old. 177 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:18,960 I graduated with a master's degree and the same day someone told me 178 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,560 that a nature reserve guard is needed on the island of Mohni. 179 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,160 It seemed to me the most exciting offer, 180 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,080 to accept with my fresh masters with master's degree. 181 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,000 We moved there by boat 182 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:42,680 and it was so nice to unload rocking chairs and books onto the beach. 183 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:50,240 Somehow it was a legendary coming and a legendary going as well. 184 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,600 Mohni is there. 185 00:17:55,240 --> 00:18:00,600 The island has its side towards us so it looks very small. 186 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,880 But when you look at it from there, it appears long like a dachshund. 187 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,600 It was like a fairytale life. 188 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,760 There was no electricity in the beginning 189 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,840 and of course no shop. 190 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,840 There were no other people. 191 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,640 These old, abandoned houses 192 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,760 and a high wall around our house enclosing the garden. 193 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,360 Then I wondered why it was needed, 194 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,440 but when the first autumn storms came, I realized that 195 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,200 otherwise it's not possible to go outside, it's so windy. 196 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,200 The kick-sled rides were very beautiful. 197 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,080 One day we saw 198 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,520 how two swans were frozen in the ice. 199 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,560 They had become ice sculptures. 200 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,840 An absolutely incredible sight, why didn't they fly away? 201 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:59,320 Why did one wait for the other and why were they both frozen? 202 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,680 It's also interesting with people. 203 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,520 People staying together in very difficult situations. 204 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,560 Even if all the textbooks say 205 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,320 that there have long been signs that you should break up 206 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,320 and it's no longer healthy to stay together, you will still stay. 207 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:34,320 I couldn't leave because everything was frozen, 208 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,560 there was such an ice soup, 209 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,560 and I had promised to stay until spring. 210 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:48,960 In one sense, there was an atmosphere of paranoia 211 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,760 about an affair that had developed 212 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,080 already in the second half of the year. 213 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,520 That I didn't really believe for a very long time. 214 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:02,600 That's probably the good faith of a young person, 215 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:08,440 such a bright hope that it could not be true. 216 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,080 My mother saw me at a poetry performance, 217 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,000 I was able to get off the island for a moment, 218 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:19,600 I performed somewhere in Tallinn. 219 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,600 My partner was also in the audience 220 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,080 and my mother came to me afterwards, startled, and said, 221 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,040 Kristiina, you seemed like a nun. 222 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,080 What has happened to you? 223 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:36,800 You no longer allow yourself to be natural and free and happy. 224 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,720 My mother is quite the clairvoyant in some situations 225 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,040 and she really began to investigate. 226 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,280 Because in fact, what happened was 227 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:56,080 that my partner was terribly jealous of me on a lonely island. 228 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,360 In fact, what could be funnier 229 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:05,200 than having someone insanely jealous of you on a lonely island. 230 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:10,160 It should be a paradise for the jealous, 231 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,400 since nothing can happen there. 232 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,280 It turns out that a person does not 233 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,840 have to be jealous of a given moment. 234 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,280 He may also be jealous afterwards, 235 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:28,600 of all sorts of glances, words, silences, 236 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,160 flushed cheeks, 237 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,040 of any gestures, 238 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:44,720 when he sees that I've been inspired by something. 239 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:50,440 The interesting thing is that I was so full of that desire, 240 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,160 to express myself, 241 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,040 and I did not accept any other job offer. 242 00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,080 I felt the calling to write. 243 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,000 Maybe to draw, or to see where my life is going. 244 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,840 I remember wearing a long apron, 245 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:11,400 with some lace at the bottom, a red polka dot apron. 246 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:17,440 I was a bit like an ancient mother on that island. 247 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:22,920 I liked how my apron just flew in the sea breeze. 248 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,160 I was engaged in folk songs. 249 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:37,600 Somehow, I actually expressed myself creatively on that island. 250 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,320 The book "Protected Area", it was just born so easily, 251 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:51,040 I didn't think, I just wrote with joy or I was somehow in full sail. 252 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,240 I think’ he just couldn't stand it. 253 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,800 Why should a woman need sails? 254 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,880 Or such a flying apron? 255 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,880 Or the idea that she writes a book? 256 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,960 She's already putting it together 257 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,840 and already she composes, all the floors full of poems, 258 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,600 using as much space as there is in the lighthouse. 259 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,080 And she's actually writing about 260 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,520 what's in the air there on the island. 261 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,480 I had just broken up with Hannes' father 262 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,480 and Hannes was not yet born. 263 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,400 And it was not showing yet, that I'm expecting him. 264 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,600 And somehow, I felt that I'm completely alone 265 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,040 and only I knew it, that Hannes was about to be born. 266 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,520 And one more knew, whom I had just left. 267 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,040 I came to Käsmu, because mum and dad were in Käsmu. 268 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,600 Mum said, come here, you have to come here. 269 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,200 Talking to my mother, there in the bog, I suddenly realized 270 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,320 that mum and dad are my friends. 271 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:36,960 I don't have to step back 272 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,520 into a destructive relationship. 273 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,400 Just not to be alone. 274 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,160 I can count on my mother and father. 275 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:28,680 Mum probably remembers, we had cauldrons in the back garden. 276 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,760 Probably a farm cauldron or some such archaic cauldron. 277 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,440 It was upside down by the fence 278 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,840 and a cauldron of the neighbour's girl was there. 279 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,120 We had an agreement after school, where we were in the same class, 280 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,000 that we meet at the cauldrons. 281 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,400 I stood on my cauldron and she stood on hers. 282 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,840 She had a bigger cauldron, and I totally envied her, 283 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,040 how can her cauldron be so big? 284 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,080 They were doing well, and I guess they still are, 285 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,520 they had ham sandwiches, and sausage sandwiches. 286 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:04,800 We didn't buy things like that, we had salted lard 287 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,760 and pea soup, and such simple farm foods. 288 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,720 Then I was very envious, and then sometimes... 289 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,320 I wasn't, I spoke from the heart too, 290 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,960 I said, let's make a deal, 291 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:23,320 I'll bring you foreign chewing gum, you bring me a ham sandwich. 292 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,320 Because my aunt sometimes brought me foreign chewing gum. 293 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,000 Then we exchanged things. 294 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,160 These commercial transactions took place here. 295 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,760 A sticker for a sausage sandwich. 296 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:43,880 Like a starving kid from Nicaragua, when you look at it now. 297 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:47,280 But I remember the feeling of hunger from childhood. 298 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:51,120 I remember when the translation of a book was halfway through, 299 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,920 then there was nothing in the house but bread and butter. 300 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,040 At some point, for example, mum and dad translated a book 301 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,920 for half a year, even longer. 302 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,360 Then it could happen that the money for the previous book ran out 303 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,400 and then there was no Cultural Endowment 304 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,480 or other such institutions. 305 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,240 Then you had to live like this, from one royalty fee to another. 306 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:21,440 But it made us very creative, then we ironed the bread 307 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,800 and did all sorts of other things. 308 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:30,360 Fried potatoes with salted dill. 309 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,120 We had such recipes. 310 00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:58,880 In some ways, I think my poetry and my prose are very contradictory. 311 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,480 A bit like written by two different people. 312 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,680 And then sometimes reading them 313 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,640 alternately somewhere at a poetry evening, 314 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,480 I feel strange myself. 315 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:20,040 How is it possible that I have written both of them? 316 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,120 But on the other hand, the themes coincide. 317 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,720 I would say that Kristiina's topic is... 318 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,840 trying to formulate... 319 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:45,120 the conflicting feelings of a woman 320 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:50,920 and the complex landscape of the soul and human relationships 321 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:57,560 sharper or deeper than is often done, or has been done. 322 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,320 Especially by men. 323 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,040 Kristiina knows how to mix surrealism. 324 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,360 You could see it even when she was little. 325 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:13,960 Once Kristiina read her poem to us and it was like this: 326 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,720 Last night, the moon was overshadowed 327 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,560 The shadow of the earth fell on the moon. - Shadow! 328 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,280 The shadow of the earth fell on the moon. 329 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,840 That's how the moon was overshadowed. 330 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,440 I don't have that ability 331 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,400 and I admire this ability in Kristiina. 332 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:35,840 You cannot learn to write surrealistically or surreal poetry. 333 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:40,760 It either comes or doesn't come, and Kristiina had it already as a child. 334 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,560 It was scary, when I first came here to this house 335 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:48,360 and there were pictures of hanged men on the walls 336 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:53,800 and pictures of poisoned men and Amazonian women. 337 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,360 Like by the piano in the living room, 338 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,440 the women are holding such large musical 339 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,440 instruments and they are blowing them. 340 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,040 All these women looked a bit like Kristiina, 341 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,600 she has drawn them after herself. 342 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:12,000 By reading her poetry, I have understood, 343 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,720 and as I got to know her, that it is not so dangerous. 344 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,680 But still. 345 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,440 That she writes it and then calms down? 346 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,360 But still. 347 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,600 Let's have some... 348 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:35,200 We all know that nobody likes it when good food gets cold. 349 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:39,240 Ly, we did so well today, let's share this big piece. 350 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,400 My child clambers on the windowsill 351 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:05,960 With one hand I keep him from falling with the other I write 352 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:11,600 Morning has started up tea drunk, porridge eaten 353 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:17,400 lilacs gone to seed the peonies' last buds open up 354 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,040 In the night their scent came into my room 355 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:25,080 My child slept his mouth covered with bread crumbs. 356 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,600 All at once I knew that this bundle of responsibilities 357 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,800 entwined to me by a hundred arms 358 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,160 is my life 359 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:39,240 And I was happy as my child slept 360 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,920 and the scent of peonies drifted through the mosquito net into my room 361 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:52,880 That's how it was. 362 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:57,160 There are a lot of poems in this book just as it was. 363 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:03,440 Nothing has been added or taken away. 364 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,880 For example, right now I feel 365 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,160 when I'm completely alone with Hannes for a long time, 366 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,800 when Silver is away somewhere and my mom can't come either, 367 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,000 then I feel this huge... 368 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:27,800 maybe now not so often, but for years I felt such anxiety. 369 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,160 It's a single mother's angst. 370 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,360 I just couldn't control it. 371 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,720 I can explain to myself that this is not really the case, 372 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:43,000 everyone will be back soon and then I'm not alone anymore, 373 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,640 but there is such... a bitter anguish, 374 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,680 that I have to manage everything alone. 375 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,480 This is absolutely normal, but you can't 376 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,080 explain it to yourself at that moment. 377 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,920 I remember when... 378 00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,080 you adopted Hannes, and when the judge said 379 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,040 that Hannes now has both a mother and a father, 380 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,760 then from somewhere deep inside me 381 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,560 two big tears of a single mother flowed out. 382 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:19,160 Then I felt like they had flowed out of me forever. 383 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,280 I will never have to shed those tears again. 384 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,880 But still, when I think about it 385 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,160 then tears well up in my eyes again, 386 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,200 they're a bit eternal too. 387 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,400 You can only think of how... 388 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,680 I don't know. 389 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,480 How to keep them clear, 390 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,120 so that they do not become cloudy or bitter. 391 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,120 Want some endearments? 392 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,480 What? - Endearments. 393 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,440 I don't know these weird words. 394 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,360 You taught me them yourself. 395 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,040 I forgot already. 396 00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:24,960 The sun sinks in the corner of my eye. 397 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,239 Like a tear. 398 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,679 We're not going to be Agnes and Gabriel. 399 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,679 Yet the sun is setting. 400 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,040 You can't do anything... 401 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:14,200 The wind picked me up 402 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:24,600 from behind the farm house. 403 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:35,280 The wind picked me up, 404 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:45,560 a timid traveller. 405 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,640 We are now in Länspää, 406 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:55,800 Länspää cape is over there, the West End. 407 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,600 And there at the end is Idapää (East End). 408 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,640 There were old farms here which are still visible. 409 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:27,000 I remember the day when we moved in here. 410 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:32,600 It was a real celebration. 411 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,080 I guess these were yours? 412 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,120 Yes! Oh, I've been wondering where they were. 413 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,720 Some slightly embarrassing poems too. 414 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,080 Let me see that first one. 415 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,400 Here are most of my "Protected Area" poems. 416 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,560 Look at that, so few changes. 417 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:05,800 It came like this here, no need to change anything that much. 418 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,360 This was the first rocking chair that came with me to the beach of Mohni. 419 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,560 Then I sat there between the rocks in a rocking chair. 420 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,040 Excellent! 421 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,960 You see, Hannes, there are still mum's things too. 422 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,520 Hannes asked if I still had anything to show him, 423 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,360 of what was here when I was on the island? 424 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,960 I was so used to the lighthouse flashing at night. 425 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,240 When I woke up, I counted ― 426 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,920 two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine ― 427 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,200 and everything is lit up. 428 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:55,080 And when I went to the mainland, then I missed this flashing light. 429 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,400 Somehow this uninterrupted darkness was so unusual. 430 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,360 Hannes, come here, let's take a family picture, let's gaze upwind. 431 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,000 And the dog looks into the distance too, stay still! 432 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,680 The lighthouse must also stand out. Wow! 433 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,560 Like this and the lighthouse between us. 434 00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:17,880 Look at the distance, Hannes, where the camera is. 435 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,920 Let's look up, a bit proudly. Very good! 436 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:28,840 During this island life, I spent most of the time searching for myself, 437 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:33,040 developing my creations, 438 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:39,920 and tried somehow to cope with this woman's work in the household. 439 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,120 If you can't go to the shop 440 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,280 then you have to invent all sorts of ways to preserve things. 441 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,520 First, clean up the basement and wash all the walls with vinegar. 442 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,640 It had not been done for ages. 443 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,960 To beat the mould. 444 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,280 To brine the eggs 445 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,720 and soak the cheese in olive oil with pepper and salt, 446 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,120 so they are edible for months. 447 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:12,320 Because although it is only 4.5 kilometres to the mainland, 448 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:17,120 as soon as there is white foam on the crests, 449 00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:21,640 then it's no longer sure if it's possible or not. 450 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,680 Even now, when we came in the morning, it was quite a rough ride, 451 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,120 and now everyone on the island is waiting and can't get back. 452 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:33,440 These things happened dozens of times here, 453 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,280 where you are no longer responsible only for your own life 454 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,040 or for your loved ones or guests, 455 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,760 but at one point you have 30 people stormbound here. 456 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:47,960 Then you bring out everything you have. 457 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,280 To make something from the last of it, 458 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,000 and oatmeal made with water already tastes terribly good, 459 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,800 with just a drop of oil. 460 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,440 It is then eaten with pepper and salt 461 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,640 and at lunch with sugar and a drop of jam. 462 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:09,080 In the evening, you eat it again, then it's fried and with smoked fish. 463 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,960 Just to have different flavours. 464 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:16,440 I developed this thriftiness a lot. 465 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,400 I visited second hand stores when I went to the mainland 466 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:23,440 and bought all new clothes, because they are worn out quickly here, 467 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:28,520 somewhere something is torn and breaks and fades. 468 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:34,600 We used bridal veils as mosquito nets. Such things. 469 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:59,480 Very soon this island began to inspire. 470 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,160 When nothing happens outside, maybe it suddenly snows, 471 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:06,000 but you have to wait for it several months. 472 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,080 Or maybe the sea turns into an ice soup. 473 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,920 Then these external things seemed so huge, 474 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:17,920 that they began to resonate inside you. 475 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:27,320 I think I met with my very old self on this island, 476 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,200 or so to speak, my timeless self. 477 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,280 I had met her before 478 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,560 and that was one of the reasons I came here. 479 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,800 I wanted to meet her for a longer time. 480 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:46,280 And that longing is actually still there. 481 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,680 I don't know what will become of this life? 482 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:02,040 Maybe this kind of wildness is still temporary in our lives. 483 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:06,040 Even then, it may not be common, but separate. 484 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,400 Some part is common, some part is separate. 485 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,240 Would you like a more lonely life? 486 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:18,400 I will definitely have that loneliness, and you will too. 487 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:24,480 But... to stay in one place 488 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:29,400 and wait for the little dot coming across the field? 489 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,040 Would you like that? 490 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:38,480 You pointed out that you would like to. 491 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,400 With so much romance that... 492 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,320 I am constantly waiting for you from Germany 493 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,920 and the Czech Republic and... 494 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,800 The little dot? - Yes, like a dot. 495 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,480 I wait for this dot every night. - That's enough for you? 496 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,640 With you, yes. 497 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:18,040 No, we can't cut the tallest, it's too beautiful. 498 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,640 Let's take the next one. 499 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:22,120 This one? - Yes. 500 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,960 No, it's too small. You can't climb there. 501 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,560 Yes, he can! 502 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,600 Do you believe in me, children? - Yes! 503 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,240 Shall I fetch it? - Yes! 504 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,000 Are you sure? - Yes! 505 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:34,960 Hey, the helmet is pretty good, 506 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,160 it moves like an icebreaker through the branches. 507 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,440 You need glasses, eye patches. 508 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,680 How can he saw in such a way, how does he hold on? 509 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,480 With the other hand! 510 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:52,520 Don't cut the branch you're sitting on. 511 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,000 It's falling! 512 00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:02,840 Let's go check it! 513 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,080 Oh, how big. 514 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,320 I measured it! - Well? 515 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:14,440 Exactly one finger, one broom and one crutch. 516 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,040 That's exactly how much. 517 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,320 I'll take the length of the broom. - Let me take a finger. 518 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,480 Yes, you put your finger. 519 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,680 I don't remember if the broom was tight. 520 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,120 The top can be slightly adjusted. 521 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,920 So, productivity is... - Formal presentation, please. 522 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,560 When we had a wedding on this farm, 523 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:53,440 then a few weeks later we came here, to help. 524 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,440 In a week, yes. To clean up everything. 525 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,960 I was making a poem in my head, we drove to the yard 526 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,560 and I couldn't wait to get my computer out 527 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,760 and get behind the desk, to the other side. 528 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:11,760 I saw there was some kind of obstacle in the way 529 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,000 and I just thought how to get around it quickly. 530 00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:17,960 These were old customs. - Who taught you that? 531 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,760 This knowledge is from the times of our 532 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,360 mothers and fathers, and their stories. 533 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:30,120 I threw a broom or a brush on the stairs. 534 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,120 I think it was a broom? - Yes. 535 00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:36,880 A broom on the stairs and for Silver I left a basket... 536 00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,120 It was kind of natural to me. 537 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,800 Yes, a basket with wood. 538 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,400 With log wood. 539 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,320 And then they came. 540 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,280 But Silver took the basket. 541 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,840 Silver took the basket, but Kristiina rushed in. 542 00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:57,560 Straight over it. - Like flew over. 543 00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,240 I jumped over. 544 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,320 I flew over the broom. 545 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,920 But you have to fly. 546 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:18,080 Such great embarrassment followed. 547 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,720 So painful and awful. 548 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,680 What do they think of me now? What does Anni think of me now? 549 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,200 What a terrible disappointment I was. 550 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,840 That's why I don't dare to live in the country. 551 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,240 Wait, why? 552 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:43,840 Such a traditional diligence, I know I can't handle it. 553 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:48,160 If I want to do the job I'm doing right now, 554 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:52,400 then I am absent-minded, I have to be absent-minded. 555 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,160 In this sense, distracted. 556 00:46:57,240 --> 00:47:01,360 But I think you have both sides very strong. 557 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,960 Both spiritual-poetic and practical activities. 558 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:10,400 So you jumped over the broom, that doesn't prove anything. 559 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,600 You also have such skillful hands in practical life. 560 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,720 You can handle everything. 561 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,320 Mum, you once said so beautifully about Kristiina, 562 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,760 that she comes again and goes again. 563 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,840 Throws everything in the suitcase and she's gone. 564 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,760 Concentration, how can there be such concentration, 565 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:35,560 that you immediately switch back to mental work, 566 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:37,880 while you're in the middle of practical life ― 567 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,520 take care of the child, make food, the house is a mess. 568 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:45,160 I feel like I'm always bothered by the mess, 569 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:49,320 if I clear up the mess, then I can sit down at the table 570 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,640 and make plans, or read, or do some writing. 571 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,840 But Kristiina has a rare ability, 572 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,920 that is your strength and that's why you achieve a lot. 573 00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,600 In a way, I've learned this from Kristiina 574 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:05,360 that you don't have to have a tidy table. 575 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:10,120 You just have to write down the essence of your idea. 576 00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,000 In order of importance? 577 00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,400 You have to start. 578 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:20,160 Otherwise, you just won't ever find that moment. 579 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:45,840 ...longingly the moon shines, whispers of love on your lips, 580 00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:51,160 Petals from the bird cherry tree fall into our hair. 581 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:56,560 Longingly the moon shines, whispers of love on your lips, 582 00:48:56,760 --> 00:49:02,240 Petals from the bird cherry tree fall into our hair. 583 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:07,640 Let's dance some more on this evening road. 584 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:13,440 Rejoice, my dear, we still have our whole lives before us. 585 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,880 What is this thing 586 00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,760 that starts to sing 587 00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:41,520 when I'm all alone 588 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,880 in an old manor or in a school hall? 589 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,560 Everyone leaves the home. 590 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:55,000 Some joy starts tickling from inside. 591 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,640 What is this thing 592 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,680 that starts to sing? 593 00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:12,120 It cannot be written down, 594 00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:16,440 it cannot be said out loud. 595 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:20,520 I have tried to paint it, 596 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:25,320 but it's already fading away. 597 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,400 What is this thing 598 00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:39,080 that starts to sing 599 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:42,840 when I get there over the moors 600 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,840 with my broken car. 601 00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,480 The house is waking up. 602 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:56,120 Maybe I can sleep for a couple of hours. 603 00:50:57,720 --> 00:50:59,200 Two hundred years ago... 604 00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,080 I said we should come in separate cars. 605 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,320 We have talked about this, we should go 606 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,360 to the performances in separate cars. 607 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,280 That then there is room to gather yourself. 608 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,560 When two people go to perform and they are together all the time, 609 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,400 nothing good comes of it. 610 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:20,920 It would have been just fine, but... 611 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:26,000 this last phone call really tested my limit of tolerance. 612 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,240 That our rooms are messy and we will have guests? 613 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,000 I told you yesterday, 614 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,680 we will not have any guests. - Relatives are not guests. 615 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,520 We're in this pre-move state. - Relatives belong with us. 616 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,520 But it's very good to talk about it here, 617 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:46,040 if we go to a concert in separate cars, of course you'll get lost. 618 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,560 If we had come in two cars, then we wouldn't have a chance 619 00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,080 to talk about this important topic. 620 00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:56,320 But then maybe we would've done a better concert. 621 00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,320 Now we were able to talk about important issues. 622 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:04,720 I also say that my ideal relationship is 623 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,800 when two people exist together 624 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:12,040 but at the same time they also have their own space... 625 00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,560 For example, going to the theatre to watch a show, 626 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,680 they enter through different doors, 627 00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:19,560 and then in the meantime glance at one another. 628 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,520 Like the old lord and lady of this manor, 629 00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,680 Timotheus von Bock and Eeva von Bock, 630 00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,400 they really walked like this every night, 631 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,960 a candle was lit here, on the porch of Võisiku manor, 632 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,400 and then they went for a walk. 633 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,840 The lord of the manor walked there, two kilometres through the forest 634 00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,040 and the lady walked there. 635 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:43,120 And then, on the chapel road, far away, 636 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:47,000 two kilometres further they got together, 637 00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,520 and then they walked back here, holding hands. 638 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,760 That's what I'm saying. - Towards the candle. 639 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,720 We'd go to a concert in different cars... 640 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,360 But they needed a little rest from each other, 641 00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,080 because they were always together, 642 00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,000 although in different parts of the house. 643 00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,640 We're not together? 644 00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:08,720 We follow our own paths all the time, it's good for us to meet in the car. 645 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,600 We are together, we really need a break sometimes. 646 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:19,560 I actually wanted to say that I wish you would tell me 647 00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:24,320 that you are happy that I stand for myself. 648 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,000 Don't get angry. 649 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:30,560 I'm not, I just said 650 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:33,840 that this particular guest was just too much for me. 651 00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:38,600 Because nobody blames men if everything is messy. 652 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,760 It is still expected that the woman would be responsible for all this. 653 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:44,520 And people are... 654 00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:49,120 Our home... collapsed. 655 00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:55,640 It was a bit too much. We always come and... 656 00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:57,240 We come and go all the time, 657 00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,520 put things away, and somehow we find new things. 658 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:03,840 I think homes should be like cars. 659 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,240 Just like cars are, 660 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:10,120 you throw things in the car, then leave that car and take another. 661 00:54:10,240 --> 00:54:13,120 You just don't have the courage to have such a home. 662 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:14,680 To keep the home in order? 663 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:18,320 You don't have the courage to have a car/home like this. 664 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,000 You want it to be comfortable and pleasant 665 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,000 and every guest who arrives also wants to feel comfortable. 666 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:29,520 Guests are used to being cared for, by both the host and the hostess. 667 00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:34,320 If we can't currently offer this, we should not invite guests. 668 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,800 Everyone understands that. - We didn't invite them. 669 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:38,760 When we go to Tartu, we have a lot of rooms, 670 00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,600 we can make up for it nicely. 671 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,160 I'd like to see. 672 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,720 I will show you. - Can you keep it tidy? 673 00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,080 The servants will. 674 00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:58,800 Let's go now, you go here and I go there. 675 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,480 We'll meet at the car. - I'll just go straight. 676 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,280 I want to take a break from you. - All right, take your time. 677 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:43,680 Since my wife is in the audience today, then I have no other choice, 678 00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:48,600 but to dance with the most beautiful lady in the audience. 679 00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:53,720 To drop you a hint, Kristiina, 680 00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:57,120 the main thing about our flat foot waltz 681 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,680 is that we have tried to dance this 682 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,240 on the ground, for hundreds of years, 683 00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:06,360 but when we dance together, then you're like flying around. 684 00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:12,360 Now try to dance very low and not so jumpy. 685 00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:16,840 Let's keep in mind 500 years of bagpipe playing, 686 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,480 where our feet are on the ground. 687 00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:25,760 I've seen this kind of dance on the National Geographic channel. 688 00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,480 Hello! 689 00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,640 How long has this been on sale? - Not long at all. 690 00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:43,840 About a month, three weeks. - Just three weeks, yes. 691 00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,840 Have you lived here for a long time? - We've lived here for 16 years. 692 00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:52,160 It's all our work and effort. 693 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,040 But look around. 694 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,520 Who is there on that post? 695 00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,880 Is that a little bird? Look, up there? 696 00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,520 Take a look. Oh... 697 00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:11,080 A beautiful green river. 698 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:14,720 A pretty good place, Hannes? 699 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,960 The boys always go there first. 700 00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,240 How deep is it? - At first it's like this... 701 00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:24,000 Oh, quite deep. - But then it gets shallow. 702 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:28,240 Hannes! - Let's go in, Hannes! 703 00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:35,840 It's so nice here. 704 00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:39,400 No insulation on the outside? - No, we haven't done anything. 705 00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,720 We didn't want to ruin the house. - Yes. 706 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,040 But can you live here in winter? 707 00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,760 Yes, it's liveable. But of course you 708 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,280 still have to wear sweaters and socks. 709 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,120 A hot place to check out. 710 00:59:54,680 --> 01:00:00,360 Silver already said that we should make a prepayment. 711 01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,920 Within five minutes. 712 01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:16,280 I'm trying to think, how it would be to wait for Silver here. 713 01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,920 Holding a baby, 714 01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:23,760 Silver, why don't you come already, he is still in Tartu. 715 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:29,200 The lake freezes quietly. A bunny is on the river, running over the ice. 716 01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:33,560 Let's walk there over the bridge, and look at this place from a distance. 717 01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,040 In a sense, we have decided that you... 718 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,400 The city suits you best. 719 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:47,120 Let's say that spending winter in the city is more like our thing. 720 01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,520 This latte-mum ideal, going with the child, 721 01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:55,960 perhaps with a bicycle cart as they are so fashionable now, 722 01:00:56,160 --> 01:01:01,120 you go to the next cafe, take your favourite latte or cappuccino, 723 01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:03,720 read the newspapers during the child's nap 724 01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,240 and speak with 3-4 acquaintances, 725 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,040 it is also a very tempting reality. 726 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:13,040 No need to think, I don't know, that I need to plant the tomatoes 727 01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:18,040 or you need to rake something quickly. 728 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,760 Here you can walk to the highway with the child and back, 729 01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:24,320 you'll see three cars. 730 01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:34,240 But I'm happy with today in that sense, 731 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:38,080 that I was able to surprise Silver in such a way 732 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,840 that he didn't even know where we're going. 733 01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:46,280 And it impressed you so much, 734 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:51,560 that you literally immediately made an offer. 735 01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:55,320 It was nice to see my husband in that moment, 736 01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:59,520 fighting for our home. 737 01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,080 With money we don't yet have. 738 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,760 Of course, you are the reason why we live in the city. 739 01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:11,320 Well, the idea was that I, as a city girl, so to speak, 740 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:13,080 will find a country house 741 01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:16,760 and you will find a townhouse today, as a country boy. 742 01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:21,760 Then let's look at the extremes, between which we waver all the time. 743 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,360 The main thing is that we can't get our passion right. 744 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,360 We can't get our common passion in place. 745 01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:31,600 For example, Jaan went to Vilsandi, 746 01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:35,240 his passion was to live in a sauna there 747 01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:41,880 and this thing developed into a great and beautiful home. 748 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:44,520 There is also, for example, 749 01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:46,600 a man and a woman who share a common passion, 750 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,920 that we're going to raise horses. 751 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:55,880 But we have such an open passion. An open wound. 752 01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:00,840 There I felt more productive, in the woods. 753 01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,600 I felt spiritually more productive. 754 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:32,120 What awaits you now? - There are still many things today. 755 01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,200 I have to conduct "Isamaa" and for me this is the most... 756 01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:38,400 It's emotionally difficult. 757 01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:43,040 It's just something you don't even dare to touch. 758 01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:45,800 But... 759 01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:50,120 it must be done in a way that it would touch others. 760 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:54,120 This air is such that you just want to breathe it in. 761 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:57,240 It is such pure golden energy. 762 01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,720 Even if it's only for a while, 763 01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:04,600 like a light mist from a champagne cap, 764 01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,600 if you smell it like a flower for a moment, 765 01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:11,240 you are already filled with that power. 766 01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:15,400 I'm so scared it'll be awkward when I climb up there. 767 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,560 It won't be. - Really, I'm scared. 768 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:21,040 I'm used to smaller audiences. - I'll hold your hand. 769 01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,680 Hold my hand. - I'll hold it tight. 770 01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:26,600 It helps. 771 01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:30,560 Good luck to you. - Yes, thank you. 772 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:59,000 The title song of today's song festival "Touch". 773 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:04,600 Authors Kristiina Ehin and Tõnu Kõrvits. 774 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:08,760 Conductor Hirvo Surva. 775 01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:32,720 Touch me if you will with your fiery features, 776 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,880 make it beautiful ― painfully so. 777 01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:46,440 Please let the blue black and white of your eyes 778 01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:53,920 touch me again I pray you. 779 01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:59,760 Do you feel how the heavens’ highest roads 780 01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:04,600 before us lie ever open. 781 01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:10,920 When we come together, when we take the time, 782 01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:20,399 leaving our troubles behind we can sing. 783 01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:33,479 Touch me with the power of your goodness, 784 01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:39,000 of all things the only treasure, 785 01:08:39,279 --> 01:08:46,080 bless if you will with your smooth, sleek hand 786 01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:50,439 my own fate rough and tattered. 787 01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:52,840 ...I wish you all the best for today... 788 01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:56,600 Do you feel how the heavens’ highest roads 789 01:08:56,720 --> 01:09:01,319 before us lie ever open. 790 01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:09,600 When we come together, when we take the time... 791 01:09:21,399 --> 01:09:23,359 It made a circle! 792 01:09:31,279 --> 01:09:33,640 Look, it's going to heaven now. 793 01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:38,359 Touch me... 794 01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,319 Made another circle. 795 01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:47,359 Look, it comes down again. Circles there. 796 01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:59,440 Hirvo Surva! 797 01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:08,040 Thank you for touching us, so it is beautiful and painful. 798 01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:12,320 Kristiina Ehin and Tõnu Kõrvits! 799 01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:03,400 I think that when women become mothers, they start to feel some... 800 01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:10,520 great connection with the women before them. 801 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:19,760 Apparently, it's also new every time. This has happened to me twice. 802 01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,160 With Hannes, 803 01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:30,600 I hid a little from the twists and turns of life and love 804 01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:33,360 at my parents in Rapla at that time. 805 01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:37,680 But with Luike, 806 01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:41,560 I've had such a privileged life next to Silver. 807 01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:46,080 Silver has been such a caring and good father. 808 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:54,280 Maybe being a mother is too hard to go through alone. 809 01:11:55,360 --> 01:12:00,000 That moment when you wake up next to your baby for the first time 810 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:04,480 and you have become a mother, there at midnight. 811 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:07,920 And suddenly you feel like this enormous... 812 01:12:08,480 --> 01:12:13,240 all-encompassing happiness and worry all at once. 813 01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:16,160 They are so intertwined. 814 01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,720 And you listen ― is the baby breathing, is the heart beating? 815 01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:22,160 And will the baby start eating? 816 01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:26,480 And at the same time your heart beats with immense happiness. 817 01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:32,280 And you feel that connection 818 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:36,280 with your foremothers who have felt 819 01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:41,280 exactly the same and even more. 820 01:12:42,160 --> 01:12:44,760 I have noticed in my family that 821 01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:50,040 the most interesting stories are born when men are alone 822 01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:52,560 or when women are alone. 823 01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:55,880 And when the women have cleaned everything up, 824 01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:59,520 somehow they still have fun doing it together, 825 01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:02,800 but the way they want to be together, 826 01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:09,840 it seems to feed some kind of very important nerve or root in them. 827 01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:14,000 Sometimes as a child I... 828 01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:17,920 I've been lucky enough to sit on someone's lap somewhere 829 01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,080 and I remember the stories they told. 830 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:26,200 Such stories of childbirth and stories of having children. 831 01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:28,720 And stories of love. 832 01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:31,800 They have been very interesting. 833 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:40,120 I remembered a moment of motherhood, 834 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:41,720 I heard from another room 835 01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:44,560 that my daughter was very confused, 836 01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:46,880 she had promised a boy in 837 01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:50,480 kindergarten that she would marry him. 838 01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:53,240 They had promised each other. 839 01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:57,080 But then another boy came to visit, my friend's son 840 01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:01,240 and they came up with the idea to get married. 841 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,400 Then I suddenly felt 842 01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:08,200 that I have not heard my daughter sounding so confused. 843 01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:12,120 She said, you know, Mihkel, I remembered now, 844 01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:14,760 I promised to marry Egon instead. 845 01:14:14,880 --> 01:14:18,160 I went into the room, I squatted down to them 846 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:22,440 and I said, you know, now it's like this, 847 01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:26,600 that you Luike, can change your mind until the last minute. 848 01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:29,280 That's the way it is. 849 01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:34,760 You still have decades to think about who you want to marry. 850 01:14:34,920 --> 01:14:38,800 And tonight too, you can change your mind if you want. 851 01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:42,240 You don't have to keep that promise right now. 852 01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:47,760 Then their eyes lit up and they began to play again. 853 01:14:47,880 --> 01:14:53,480 They were married for a moment and saw all this madness, 854 01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:57,000 and they had a very exciting game. 855 01:14:57,480 --> 01:15:02,720 To encourage your child like this, and give her that knowledge for life 856 01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:05,960 that whatever happens, we can always change our mind. 857 01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:10,040 This is the freedom of our soul, both as women and men. 858 01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:13,200 Mum! 859 01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:21,600 Mum, I want to play with some kids. 860 01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:26,040 Then we have to organize it soon. 861 01:15:26,440 --> 01:15:29,480 What child do you miss the most right now? 862 01:15:33,240 --> 01:15:34,920 Mihkel! 863 01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:38,520 No, actually Elo-Kats... no, I miss Mihkel. 864 01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:07,160 Eliisa, take a look, is it okay? 865 01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,240 Yes, very nice. Is it straight behind? 866 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:14,160 Now it's straight. It's not even, is it? 867 01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:16,760 Just put one more. 868 01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:19,560 I can add a bit here as well. 869 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:22,000 Look. - Yes, indeed. 870 01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:29,680 At the moment, it is so difficult for me to find poems 871 01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:33,840 that I would choose for performances. 872 01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:37,520 I can't see these poems clearly anymore. 873 01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:41,520 There's a story behind each of them. 874 01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:46,080 Sometimes I would like someone else to choose 20 poems for me 875 01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:48,600 and I would recite them. 876 01:16:50,120 --> 01:16:52,080 What did you find there? 877 01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:58,320 This one is good. - But for example... 878 01:16:58,760 --> 01:17:03,240 someone once said, criticized, 879 01:17:03,400 --> 01:17:06,640 that why you flaunt yourself in such a way, 880 01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:09,800 why do you have to say 881 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:14,880 that I am the only unringed bird of my species? 882 01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:22,600 Why do you have to say that my body burns like the midday sand? 883 01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,960 I smell like tar and exhaustion. 884 01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:28,560 My heart is a big river mussel. 885 01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:32,120 Slowly and painfully a pearl is growing in it. 886 01:17:32,400 --> 01:17:35,960 What is this "me-me-me"? Someone asked me that. 887 01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:38,600 But this poem is not about my ego 888 01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:40,800 the poem is actually about something else. 889 01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:42,360 Of course. 890 01:17:42,520 --> 01:17:45,120 In this seashell or clam, 891 01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:49,600 a grain of sand goes between that mollusc and starts to rub 892 01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:52,640 and it is terribly painful for this living organism. 893 01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:57,760 And this torment actually transforms into a pearl. 894 01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:01,520 What have been the main objections 895 01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:07,000 when your poetry has been criticized? 896 01:18:08,440 --> 01:18:13,000 I've read some myself, but... 897 01:18:16,200 --> 01:18:21,080 how much have you taken it to heart, 898 01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:24,760 when something negative is said 899 01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:30,520 and what do you think of these things yourself? 900 01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:34,440 Maybe you want to say something? 901 01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:39,120 I have noticed that some of my writings 902 01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:42,240 can step on someone's toe. 903 01:18:42,520 --> 01:18:44,280 Accidentally. 904 01:18:44,440 --> 01:18:47,320 In that sense, unintentionally. 905 01:18:47,520 --> 01:18:51,400 I never meant to hurt anyone. 906 01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:54,880 To show the opposite sex their place. 907 01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:58,680 I love men too much for that. 908 01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:01,920 Well, I mean... 909 01:19:04,960 --> 01:19:07,120 If you love one man, then through it 910 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:09,840 you also love the nature of masculinity. 911 01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:15,080 In fact, this is what I mean. 912 01:19:21,720 --> 01:19:26,040 In that sense, I don't have this 913 01:19:27,040 --> 01:19:30,480 feminist and Amazonian militancy, 914 01:19:30,560 --> 01:19:32,480 I never had it. 915 01:19:33,320 --> 01:19:39,440 I just think that there have already been historically 916 01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:43,880 great misunderstandings between women and men. 917 01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,440 And we have to talk about them 918 01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:50,320 and bring up the subject again and again. 919 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:52,760 We can't do otherwise. 920 01:19:54,760 --> 01:19:59,520 Sometimes these misunderstandings become utterly absurd. 921 01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:04,200 Like in my story "Daughter of a Surrealist." 922 01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,240 For example, this part. 923 01:20:09,960 --> 01:20:12,560 When I saw the Surrealist's daughter for the fourth time, 924 01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:17,160 she was sitting on a tree combing her long silky hair. 925 01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:21,040 I looked up at her and said she was so beautiful. 926 01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:23,920 I smiled and she smiled back. 927 01:20:24,040 --> 01:20:27,080 I said that I thought she was really very beautiful. 928 01:20:27,240 --> 01:20:29,840 I added very loudly, to make sure she heard, 929 01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:32,800 that I've always wanted a woman just like her. 930 01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:34,680 I was wondering what else to say. 931 01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:38,160 I said that I wanted such a mother for my children as well. 932 01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:40,960 I got into quite a flow with my words. 933 01:20:41,160 --> 01:20:44,800 When I looked at the tree again, she wasn't there anymore. 934 01:20:44,920 --> 01:20:48,240 She had fallen and broken her rib. 935 01:20:48,440 --> 01:20:52,440 When I drove her to the A&E, she cried inconsolably and said: 936 01:20:52,720 --> 01:20:57,520 "Please don't say things like that to me, it's more than I can bear." 937 01:20:57,760 --> 01:21:00,400 And straight after that she asked with tears in her eyes: 938 01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:02,760 "Say some more, please." 939 01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:06,640 When the Surrealist's daughter woke up in the morning, 940 01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,240 she was in one piece again. 941 01:21:08,360 --> 01:21:12,880 The moon was still in her arms and she smelled of lilac. 942 01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:16,840 She told me she was pregnant from the blood of her own dragon 943 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:21,320 and soon we would have two pairs of three-headed twins 944 01:21:21,480 --> 01:21:24,240 who would all look exactly like me. 945 01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:28,680 Our three-headed twins dealt with 946 01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:30,680 completely different things in life than 947 01:21:30,760 --> 01:21:32,960 the Surrealist's daughter and I did. 948 01:21:33,240 --> 01:21:36,600 They were not attention-seekers like us. 949 01:21:36,760 --> 01:21:40,400 They learned to be completely inconspicuous. 950 01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:45,680 And in that way they really found their true selves, 951 01:21:45,960 --> 01:21:49,760 along with deep love and peace of mind. 952 01:21:56,400 --> 01:22:02,120 Actually, I want to wriggle with laughter at this point, 953 01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:05,880 for that last part was what... 954 01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:10,200 well, and also to cry out of compassion, 955 01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:13,600 as this part got stuck in the teeth 956 01:22:14,280 --> 01:22:21,440 of the critic who pointed it out to me as an example where, 957 01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:24,880 the three-headed twins I imagined. 958 01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:27,880 Then how could they be modest in life 959 01:22:27,960 --> 01:22:30,360 and reach peace of mind. 960 01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:33,960 It was then used as an example for the author, 961 01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:38,320 that I might one day understand the mania of my ego 962 01:22:38,440 --> 01:22:44,120 and stop it and try to be completely modest. 963 01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:49,600 It always hurts when it comes to my image. 964 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:53,640 I've heard all sorts of things about my poetry, and it doesn't even... 965 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:57,120 but when it comes to my personality, 966 01:22:57,560 --> 01:23:04,280 then I think I don't want to, I have no intention whatsoever 967 01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:07,640 to answer anyone's idea of a poet. 968 01:23:08,200 --> 01:23:11,760 My life is too short to waste on that. 969 01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:20,320 I want to live much more colourfully and more... honestly.