[Christmas music playing]
Downloaded from YTS.BZ
♪♪
Okay, Mr. Carr, I hear that.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
Now, as always, we ask every guest this question.
So what is Kevin Carr's secret to success in Black love?
Hmm.
Um, I'm gonna be honest with y'all.
I'm a high-value man,
and I'm exercising all my options.
I'm not really thinking about love right now,
but when I do find love, I know it'll be with a Black woman.
Mm. Let the church say amen. Okay.
Well, thank you, Mr. Kevin Carr,
newly retired NFL standout and now best-selling author.
We appreciate you for your time, bro.
Anytime, man.
Well, lovers,
this has been a "Black Love and Liberation" podcast...
Where Black love is a revolutionary act.
And we're your hosts,
Simone Starr and the king, Khalil,
your guide to love and life.
- Yeah. Happy holidays. - We'll see you guys next week.
- Sweet. Alright. - Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Hey, Queen. I'm gonna head to this meeting I told you about.
- Okay. - I'll see you tonight.
I'll be waiting for you, King.
Mm.
- Great show, babe. - The sponsors loved it.
And I'm not supposed to tell you this yet,
but we got three... Count 'em, three
television networks on a bidding war
to get your show on their airwaves.
You and Khalil are a hot ticket.
Carmen, do not play with me like that.
I'm serious.
I'm setting up meetings all next week.
We should have a deal before Christmas.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Really.
Hey, so I wasn't eavesdropping or anything,
but someone left their mic on.
- So TV show? Really? - You're nosy.
But, yes, a TV show.
If we play our cards right and keep our numbers steady.
Oh, we got this.
I mean, she don't know. We're the dream team, so...
- They don't be knowing. - Come on now.
See, Jabari and I started a radio show back in college,
and we've been going crazy ever since.
We got this deal on lock.
I hope you're right.
They'll be watching the show and your social media
over the next few weeks, so be on your P's and Q's.
- Okay? - Aye, aye, captain.
Ha! We about to get paid!
This shit finally paying off.
Finally.
And thank you, friend.
Couldn't have done this without you.
I mean, we have the fan base and all,
but you're the only one that knows
how to work any of this camera stuff.
I appreciate you.
Well, you know I always got you.
- Mm-hmm. I know. - So what we got today?
- Right. Work. - Mm-hmm.
- Let's do that. - What's your passcode?
Don't worry about that.
♪♪
They broke and they dusty,
and the only thing they do is cheat
and go make more baby mamas.
Y'all can have the Pookies and the Ray-Rays.
I'm about to go get me a White daddy.
They know how to treat me.
I'm tired of the ghetto.
Whoo, child, you hurt and you bitter.
Hmm.
[Text messages dinging]
Hey, Simone Starr.
This your man?
Look at him.
I took his whole soul.
[Laughs]
♪♪
Sorry. Meeting ran a little long.
Uh...
♪ Just wanna give you all my time ♪
♪ Sleigh bells ringing when I slide ♪
♪ Charge me with love, I pay the fine ♪
♪ Only wanna be with you tonight ♪
♪ Good times ♪
I knew something wasn't right about that nigga.
Ain't nobody that damn happy, bro.
Out here talkin' about love and life shit.
All the time, he busting down the local ratchets.
Buddy and the side chick might as well go ahead
and start a Love My Fans channel.
They... They... They viral now.
Oh, and... and Simone Starr,
if you... if you need a... need a shoulder to cry on, baby,
just go ahead and call me with your fine ass.
I got you.
Girl, answer this damn phone.
Yeah, girl, you got, like, 12 more hours to grieve,
and we're pulling up.
I don't care. We're pulling up.
We worried about you, girl.
Call us back.
♪ ...you all my time, all my time ♪
♪ Sleigh bells ringing when I slide ♪
Well-known social-media influencers
and relationship gurus, Simone Starr and Khalil King,
are making headlines this week
after Khalil was caught with his pants down.
Literally.
The seemingly happy couple are in talks to take
their "Black Love and Liberation" podcast
to network TV.
But now the fans are asking, "Was it all a lie?"
[Sighs] Oh.
♪ I adore you ♪
♪ Let me hold you ♪
♪ I'm gonna spoil you ♪
Simone.
You're gonna have to deal with this eventually, okay?
These networks aren't gonna wait for you.
If we don't keep things moving, we will lose this deal.
Call me back.
♪ All I need is you, you, bag full of loot ♪
There ain't enough sage in the world
to ward off a fuckboy.
The force is with them strong.
And Simone Starr just found out the hard way.
No pun intended.
Speaking of the hard way, talk to me.
I know y'all seen King Khalil all over the Internet
with his little side piece.
Yeah, baby, that thing is thinging.
I know she grieving over the loss of that eggplant.
Let us all pray for our good sis, Simone Starr.
We're so sorry for your loss.
[Laughing]
Chin up, sweetie.
♪ I'm gonna spoil you ♪
- [Text messages dinging] - Hmm!
♪ When we link up, it's a happy holiday ♪
♪ Happy holiday ♪
♪ Girl, I love you, I adore you ♪
♪ Let me hold you ♪
♪ I'm gonna spoil you ♪
♪ Turn my ringer off, I ain't got time to play ♪
♪ Time to play[Dinging continues]
♪ When we link up, it's a happy holiday ♪
♪ Happy holiday
♪♪
[Sniffles]
[Sighs]
Okay.
Since y'all are so concerned with my mental health,
let me give you the drama that you've been waiting on.
Yes, that was Khalil in the video.
No. [Sniffles]
I don't know the raggedy ho he was with.
No, we're not in an open relationship.
He's a fucking cheater. Period.
Now, let me address all you gossip sites and trolls.
Y'all can politely kiss both sides of this ass.
You bald-headed, dusty little leeches.
Unh-unh, unh-unh, girl, you on live looking crazy as hell.
Yeah, girl, you on crackhead time, and I ain't feeling it.
How'd y'all get in here?
Benny picked the lock, but,
but, girl, this ain't it.
Benny, you broke in my house?
Look, let's stay on topic.
You know these TV folks are watching you.
You can't be out here crashing out like that.
Girl, you about to fumble the bag.
Right.
And how I'm gonna become your personal assistant
and marry Michael B. Jordan if you don't become famous?
Don't make us all suffer. That's just selfish.
Y'all, I'm really not here for the jokes right now.
Like, for real.
Listen. But this is why we're here, friend.
- Three weeks is long enough. - Right.
Like, you are allowed to lose yourself,
but only for a little while.
Like, it's time to reactivate the boss bitch.
[Sighs]
I'm just trying not to jump out the damn window.
Meanwhile, Khalil's all on the Internet
doing interviews about his dick print.
Why does he want to humiliate me like this?
- Girl, men ain't shit. - Facts.
And I know that you thought that Khalil was different.
But once y'all little clout started going up,
he started feeling himself.
Facts. That ego been growing like a tumor.
Look, this is all about perspective.
You been with Khalil basically your entire adult life.
I mean, like, do you even know who you are without him?
Maybe... Follow me...
Maybe this is the universe giving you the space
to find out who you really are,
who Simone is without "King Khalil."
You know? Just...
Find myself? [Sighs]
What does that even mean?
Girl, that means it's time
for Miss Simone Starr to come back outside.
You know, in my personal opinion,
the best way to get over an ex
is to get on top of a next.
Mm. I second that.
I think you should start dating, friend.
Yes, mama.
You've been riding the same surfboard
- for much too long, you know? - Mm.
And as we can see, it's a community attraction.
Blech!
Now, y'all know Khalil was my first.
I wouldn't even know what to do with a new man.
[Chuckles]
I've been out the game way too long.
Mnh-mnh.
Trust me, mama, you bring home something tall,
dark and sexy and nature will take its course.
And will. But you know what?
Maybe you need you a good old-fashioned ho phase.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
- Nah, I'll pass. - Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.
Wait though. Benny might be onto something.
I mean, it's a rite of passage into womanhood.
You turn 30 next year, right?
And you've only been with one man?
Mm.
It's time for you to discover all the delicious variety of men
on the market these days.
And I rebuke the word ho in the name of Beyoncé.
Men can sleep around.
But when we do it, we hos.
There's no such thing as a ho phase.
It shouldn't be nothing wrong with you
exploring your grown woman's sexuality.
Reclaim your coochie.
It should be a source of pride, not shame.
And we're gonna start right here.
I just made you a profile on Blackface Matchmaker.
- A dating app? Mnh-mnh. - That ain't my style.
- Girl, your style? - Girl, you ain't got no style.
- You only been with Khalil. - Oh.
You know, and this is how the young folks
are courting nowadays, Auntie.
Auntie.
Look at you.
Profile ain't even been up five minutes
and you already got connections.
Here, mama. You can thank me later.
I don't know about this, y'all.
What if I get kidnapped or something?
You know, all these true-crime shows
got people getting caught up on apps like that.
Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.
There's three basic rules to online dating,
- and you know I know them. - Mm.
One, um, always FaceTime to confirm their identity because
you know they be out cat fishing, you know?
Two, if they become creepy,
you're not feeling it or they start asking you for money,
block them.
Three, always, always meet in a public place.
Simple.
That little coffee shop down the street.
- Perfect. - Mm. Yes.
Just meet up with all your men there and see how it goes.
Yeah.
Oh, this gonna be
a transformative experience for you, friend.
Oh, yes, bitch.
Christmas is 27 days away,
and you got enough time to cuff you,
you know, a little Christmas bae.
Mm.
And Christmas bae means Christmas gifts.
And Christmas trips.
And Christmas...
Oh, you gonna have a hot girl holiday, friend!
I don't know, y'all. I'd just...
I'd just rather lay right here.
No, boo, don't do that.
Now, look here.
You got a connection already.
And damn, he is fine.
He look like the perfect distraction.
Ha! Yes, mama. What that song say?
["12 Baes of Christmas" by Lisa Lucky playing]
[Groans]
♪ Pass my way ♪
♪ Keep the links to my ear, he gonna buy me what I want ♪
♪ It's the least he gon' spend ♪
♪ On the first day of Christmas, my nigga gave to me ♪
Interesting fashion choices today, mama.
Carmen, you wanted me here, so I'm here.
Simone, I'm not just your agent, okay?
I want you to think of me as a friend.
[Breathes deeply]
And as a friend, I'm worried about you.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
Honestly, I'm tired of everybody asking me.
I mean, what do you expect?
You've completely caved in to those Internet trolls.
[Telephones ringing in distance]
This isn't the Simone Starr
that me and your fans have grown to love and know.
The Star we know would use this as fuel to her fuego, baby.
I just need a little bit more time, okay?
[Ringing continues]
Unfortunately, time is the one thing we don't have.
Jabari has been running filler episodes for two weeks now.
Sponsors are getting worried
and the networks are asking questions.
Look, what can I do for you?
Just tell me what you need.
Actually, you got a time machine?
Because I need to go back to 2012 and un-meet Khalil!
That's the only thing that's gonna make me okay right now.
Come on, Simone, give me something.
[Sighs] Carmen.
How am I supposed to go back to the show after this?
Everybody thinks I'm a fraud.
The relationship guru who lost her man to some random thot.
It's over.
Over?
Simone, you have worked too hard to give this all up, okay?
You're at the cusp of your breakthrough.
You can and will get past this.
You sound just like Porsha and Benny.
What do they have to say?
Benny signed me up for a matchmaking app.
They seem to think that I need to experience the dating world.
Actually, that may be a good idea.
- What? Not you, too. - No. Hear me out.
Okay?
The relationship guru on her journey of self-discovery
after a devastating breakup.
It would make for great content.
[Gasps] Maybe even a book.
Carmen... this is my real life.
It's not for content purposes.
That's exactly what people want to see.
Simone Starr, real, raw and uncut.
Come on.
This could be what we need to lock in the deal.
[Ringing continues]
Just... Just think about it. For me.
Fine. I'll think about it.
Okay.
I'm gonna set in some meetings.
Are you free tomorrow?
I haven't even walked out yet.
We're working.
["2nd Thoughts" by NGR Facets playing]
♪ I don't want to lie to you ♪
♪ I just want to make things work ♪
♪♪
- ♪ He was [indistinct] - that you think about him ♪
♪ Knew what it was when I started dreaming about it ♪
♪ If I'm who you want, why you keep playing ♪
♪ And trying to test where I stand ♪
♪ If I'm steady, saying we can, it was good ♪
♪ Surely this ain't what it came to ♪
♪ Picking fights over niggas and bitches that ain't you ♪
♪ Comparing yourself, assuming the groupies I ran through ♪
♪ So you distance yourself and say I'm gon' do like I last do ♪
♪ But I promise, I swear to you, I'll always be there for you ♪
Whoa. That's crazy.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
I'll never disrespect you like that.
[Chuckles]
Oh, I didn't realize how late it was.
Looks like we are the last one here.
Oh, yeah.
Can I, um, take you to your car?
- Sure. - Yeah?
Yeah.
♪ I just want to talk about it ♪
♪ Like, you... We done been through it ♪
This was so nice.
It was.
I hope I made a good impression the first time online dating.
You definitely set the bar high.
Yeah? Okay, cool.
Um, so can I call you later this week?
- Yeah, I'd like that. - Yeah?
- Mm-hmm. - Um...
Will I be doing too much if I kiss you?
I guess that's okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
[Chuckles nervously] I'm sorry. It's just...
It's been a really long time since I've been on a first date.
That's okay. I understand. Alright.
Okay.
- Get home safe. Okay? - Thank you.
No problem.
- Bye. - Bye.
[Car door closes]
♪♪
[Sighs] Okay, y'all.
I'm officially back outside.
[Laughs]
Ho phase?
Are you sure you want to do that?
I mean, it's a little out of character for you, ain't it?
Oh, you gotta try new things to get new results, right?
I'm tired of being a good girl.
It's time I reclaim my coochie.
[Laughing] What?
Alright.
Okay, Star. Just be careful.
You know, it's real out here in these streets.
It's all a part of my journey of self-discovery.
- Mm-hmm. - I never really dated.
I mean, I met Khalil, and that was it.
I'm gonna go out with every guy I connect with.
What's the harm in having some fun?
Yeah, well, you know, a lot's changed since the 2010s
when you was outside, right?
And that's exactly why I need to do this.
I need to get into my modern woman era.
Mm.
You ready to get this show on the road?
Yeah. Let's get it.
And we're rolling.
Star, we're rolling.
[Clears throat]
Hey, lovers.
Welcome to the "Black Love and Liberation" podcast,
where...
Black love is a revolutionary act.
You know what?
Let me tell you something about love.
Love will take you to your highest heights
and then drop your ass like a bad habit.
Love is bullshit.
Ladies, I'm embarking
on a new journey of self-discovery.
Mm-hmm. That's right.
I'm freeing myself from the chains of toxic masculinity
and reclaiming my time.
I gave that man every piece of me and it still wasn't enough.
He wanted to go run the streets with the dusties
when he had all this love and light at home.
You know what?
Maybe Jazzy on the go was right.
Maybe the Black woman needs to divest
'cause the Black man just ain't cutting the mustard.
Maybe the passport bros are on to something.
Mm-hmm.
Jabari, what are you doing? I wasn't done.
Are you sure you're good, Star?
I'm just fine. Now, start the shit back up.
Mnh-mnh.
Carmen said the sponsors are pissed.
- They want to meet. - Whatever.
["Right Here" by Evan and Eris playing]
[Sighs]
♪♪
♪ Finally sitting by the fire ♪
♪ Surrounded by the Christmas lights ♪
♪ Could someone pass the apple cider ♪
♪ This moment feels so right
♪ I don't ever wanna leave ♪
♪ From my friends and family ♪
♪ Love is... ♪
Hey.
Simone?
Hey. Yeah.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.
♪ I could feel your presence here, I know it ♪
♪ Presents cool, but you're the main component ♪
♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh ♪
♪ Right here, right here by my side ♪
♪ Stay here for a lifetime ♪
♪ Blessings from my God ♪
♪ I know you're right here ♪
♪ Right here by my side
♪ Stay here for a lifetime
♪ Blessings from my God, I know ♪
♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh
♪ Oh, blessings from my God, I know ♪
♪ If you could only see my heart ♪
What about Thursday?
We can work with that all the time, girl.
Yeah.
Aw, friends, I love our tree-trimming parties.
- Yes. - Mm-hmm.
That star a little crooked, though, Bari.
Hey, Benny.
- Either help out or shut up. - Oh.
- Rude. - [Laughs]
Anyways, so, friend, how did that date with that,
um, pretty-boy personal trainer go?
Girl...
I don't think I should kiss and tell.
Oh, no, don't do that. I need all of it.
Play by play.
Okay, but y'all can't judge, though.
- Girl, please. - Spill.
Okay.
So he's all into fitness or whatever.
- Mm-hmm. - So we went to a yoga class.
Working out on a date? I'll pass.
- Yeah, girl. He broke. - Mm-hmm.
No, it was cute and kind of sexy.
He was helping me with my poses, and he was stretching me out.
Okay, get to the good part.
Did you hunch on the man or not?
- Hmm? - Yeah.
Things got a little spicy after the class.
He said he could tell I haven't had a good stretch in a while.
- Mmm. - I don't know what came over me.
It was like... He was looking good.
- Smelling even better. - Ooh.
I just decided to go with the flow and kissed him.
♪♪
Making the first move? Okay, friend.
I know that, mama.
So, uh, did y'all hunch in the car?
Benny, calm down. I am not a ho.
We went to his condo.
[Laughter]
And then... things got a little weird.
You like that, baby, hmm?
Yeah, I like that, baby.
Yeah. You like that, baby?
Yeah. Sexy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, you want to be on my Love My Fans page?
Stop the cap.
That man was not making love to his reflection.
Yes, ma'am. He was.
It was way too much for me.
Girl, I just pretended I had a cramp and ran up out of there.
[Laughs]
Girl, you need to post a whole story time about this one.
Mm-hmm.
I would like to make a toast to my friend
for finally transitioning into true womanhood.
Cheers to a hot girl holiday!
Cheers!
- Okay. Hater. - Okay.
So, anyway, uh, let's see who's next.
- Hmm. - Hmm.
Oh, this one right here. Mr. Big and Bald.
Mm. Ooh.
Oh, hell no. He just got out of prison.
- Perfect. - What?
["12 Baes of Christmas" by Lisa Lucky playing]
Y'all know what?
♪ Bow, bow, bow, bow ♪
♪ ...Said they got some niggas under the tree ♪
♪ It's the least he gon' spend ♪
♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪
♪ My nigga gave to me ♪
♪ A Prada bag, Gucci bag with a new G ♪
♪ On the second day of Christmas ♪
♪ My nigga gave to me
Thanks for helping me clean up.
You know Benny and Porsha are allergic to chores.
Yeah, I was Benny's roommate junior year.
Trust me, I know all too well.
[Both chuckle]
Hey, Star.
You know, I'm not trying to be in your business or anything,
and, you know, I'm not hating or nothing like that, but...
I don't think this whole Matchmaker thing is
such a good idea.
Bari, you're such an old man.
Millions of people are online dating every day.
- It's totally normal. - What I'm saying, though,
you've never been the type to have casual sex.
Are you sure it's what you want?
I'm sure that what I do with my vagina
is none of your business.
Look, Star, you're my friend.
And if I'm worried about you, I'm gonna speak on it.
[Sighs]
I love you, Bari.
And I appreciate your concern, but I'm gonna be just fine.
I promise.
If you say so.
On another note,
are you ready for that "Brunch Ladies" interview tomorrow?
Oh, you know I stay ready.
Alright.
Well, call me if you need anything.
Okay?
I'm gonna slide. [Sighs]
Okay.
Be safe.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Alright.
So let's... Let's just go ahead and get into it.
Right?
People want to know, the streets have been asking.
We've been talking.
Was Simone Starr and King Khalil all a lie?
Was it a lie, Simone?
Girl, did you scam us?
Ladies, I assure you,
what me and Khalil had was real.
At least it was for me.
Well, okay, so we did see your little video.
I think everybody saw that little rant
that you went on on live.
I mean, to me,
it's kind of sounding like your whole views on love
have all changed a little bit.
- Yeah, Boo. - You was on your feminism vibe.
And that's a lot different
when everybody used to call you a "pick me."
My views have changed a lot.
A whole 180.
- I had an epiphany. - Mm-hmm.
Love... is a myth.
- Oh! - Okay?
Talk to us, talk to us.
It's like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
- Okay. - Okay?
It's a fantasy sold to you by the media
- and corporate America... - Mm-hmm.
To distract you from your true self purpose.
- Ooh. - Alright?
Right now, Simone Starr is just working on herself.
- Okay. - Okay.
Girl, we gonna cheers to that.
- Cheers. - Hey, hey.
Okay.
Wow.
Oh, that was... intense.
Well, you know it's been a long time.
I could tell.
I didn't hurt you, did I?
No, I ain't hurt, but I'm definitely gonna be sore.
- [Both laugh] - Mm.
You worked up my appetite.
- You wanna go grab some lunch? - Yeah.
- Mm. - Mm-hmm.
I think I'm a little hungry myself.
So you were in prison for eight years?
That's a long time.
- More like 50 years. - Mm.
I'm just glad to be out here getting a second chance,
- you know? - Let the church say amen.
I know you're happy to be out.
Amen to that.
[Both laugh]
- I'm telling you. - James!
James, is that you?
Oh, you gonna act like you don't know a bitch now?
See, when we was in lockup, you knew me real good.
- Hey, sis. You sure look cute. - Unh-unh.
You... Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.
James, you gonna act like you don't know me?
Yeah, Jabari, why are you blowing me up?
Hey. Carmen says she's been trying to call you.
The sponsors want to meet ASAP.
- Yeah, I was busy. - Just tell her to set it up.
Nah, they want to meet now.
Right now?
Right now. Meet me at Carmen's office.
[Sighs] Oh, damn.
Alright, I'm coming.
[Engine starts]
Hi, ladies, I'm sorry I'm late. I apologize.
Alright, well, we'll just go ahead
and get started as to not waste any more of your precious time.
[Breathes deeply] Simone, our sponsors here
have some concerns about last week's show
and your recent interview on "Brunch Ladies."
Simone, you know
me and my mother have always supported you on your message.
We were elated to work with you and Khalil
in helping to bring the Black love movement to the forefront.
But after last week's rant,
we're just not sure we're all on the same page anymore.
We wanted to advertise our brand on a platform
that was in support of building Black families.
If this is the new direction of the show,
we'll have to reevaluate our partnership.
Okay, look, ladies, I know I spazzed out last week,
but I'm completely over it, okay?
I had time to grieve the relationship, and,
um, I can assure you that everything will be back
to normal this week.
This TV deal could take our brand to the next level.
We need you on top of your game.
Yes. We're working on that.
Thank you, ladies, for your time.
We'll be in touch.
♪♪
So what about Khalil?
My clientele is high-value men
who are not really interested in feminist ideals.
I honestly only partnered with this show because of Khalil.
Without him, I don't see my demographic tuning in.
So in that case,
what reason do we have to continue business together?
With all due respect, this is my show,
and we'll just... We'll do just fine without Khalil.
We'll let the numbers prove that.
They will.
Thank you so much for coming.
We'll be in touch.
♪♪
So Nigerian bae seems promising.
- Why you ain't getting none yet? - Mm.
I kind of don't want to mess it up.
Besides, I like where we're at right now.
And, girl, he hasn't even pressed the issue.
- Ooh! Gentleman. - Mm.
I'm here for it.
But I ain't seen you since last week.
What happened to them other dudes
that you done connected with?
You should have been on at least three or four new dick
dates, friend.
- Three or four new dates. - Girl, you nasty.
Anyway, I have been on a few more dates.
And you ain't tell me?
Spill the tea while it's still hot.
- Alright. Well, girl. - Uh-huh.
One of them...
We just at two completely,
totally different places in our lives right now.
What do you mean by that girl?
- The man was old. - Oh.
That man was old as hell. Okay?
His profile picture was at least 20 years old.
- Mnh-mnh. That man tried it. - Oh.
I mean, he might not have been Mr. Right,
but he could have been Mr. Sponsor, girl.
Porsha, I am not that needy... yet.
I ain't that yet.
Well, slide me daddy number 'cause he sounds just my speed.
Anyway, a couple of days later,
I linked up with this army dude.
We had a nice time talking.
- He'd been all over the world. - Ohh.
Army dudes be having a little check.
Oh.
Well, he was nice or whatever,
but I think the man is dealing with some PTSD issues.
Yeah, no, I can't be dealing with nobody else
mental health, but my own.
Exactly. Like, get somebody else to do it.
Get somebody else to do it.
Um, this next guy...
Girl, I'm pretty sure he was a scammer.
- Oh. - Hey, look.
Hey, I think we got one.
Hey, Queen.
I see you shining like the sun over here.
Let me ask you something.
You got a checking account?
- [Laughs] - Mm-hmm.
Oh, he was about to steal your whole
not half, but your whole identity.
Girl, I blocked his ass
while he was still sitting right there.
As you should have.
- Now, the new guy... - Mm-hmm.
He might have some potential.
Mm.
He was on time. Dressed to kill.
- Brought me a rose. - Ooh!
It was actually romantic.
Mm.
I'm supposed to meet his friends
this weekend, so we'll see.
See, friend, you can't tell me that you're not having fun.
[Sighs]
You were right. It is a little... liberating.
Girl, I don't even know the last guy's real name.
I've never felt so... free.
Mm.
And this is how it feels when you become your own woman.
Not a woman that some man is trying to groom you to be.
Mm-hmm.
It was a little shaky at first.
- Yeah. - But I'm trusting the process.
Oh. To trusting the process.
Girl, you gonna toast to anything.
Oh, no. Mm. Don't forget.
You gotta take me to my interview at the Casablanca
because the bus cannot give me there on time.
And I cannot reschedule this or miss it
'cause this may be my only chance, you know,
to shake these tatas behind one of the hottest bars in the city.
Tilt me. Please. Baller me, please.
You know I got you, friend.
I've been having a lot of extra time on my hands lately
since Khalil's hosting the show this week.
And he boo boo as hell, friend.
- They gonna call you back. - They are.
Mm-hmm.
- Love you. - [Sighs]
Can I get some mo?
Oh. Here.
Pour me up please.
♪♪
[Indistinct conversations]
Well, he hasn't introduced us to a woman
in quite some time.
You must be a very special miss lady.
Well, I hope so.
Mm.
Of course she's special.
I mean, gotta be a serious situation
to bring around y'all fools.
- You know I don't play like that. - Mm-hmm.
That's a fact. That's a fact.
[Laughter]
Well...
I'm just glad you decided to settle down, friend.
Remember last time when we were, um, at Shay's dungeon party?
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Yeah. You were giving that little Black thing
to her, him, they and them now.
- It was definitely a night. - I'll say that. I'll say that.
[Laughs]
Wait a minute. Um...
Did I just hear you say a him?
Yes, girl.
You know our good brother just flows with the wind, honey.
- Whoo. - [Laughter]
Okay.
Um, can you... can you guys excuse me really quickly?
Ooh. Girl, he in trouble.
♪♪
Hey. Everything okay?
Was I hearing them correctly?
Were your friends just telling me that you're gay?
No. I'm bisexual.
So you're gay?
No. Like I said, I'm bisexual.
I like both men and women.
So you half gay?
Simone, it's the 2020s.
Sexuality is fluid.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sure you know all about all types of fluid.
You know what? I'm just gonna head on out.
- Okay? - Wow.
So the oppressed becomes the oppressor.
Nice meeting you.
Tell your friends it was good meeting them, too.
Okay?
Okay, Miss Starr.
I got you.
[Weights clanking]
Hey, man, why all these girls
in here looking at you like that?
Bro. I don't knows shit, bro.
I promise you, it ain't me.
I knew when I seen that video,
we was gonna have trouble in the gym.
Bro. I'm like Arby's, my dude.
They only after the meat, my dude.
[Both laugh]
You crazy.
Excuse me.
Oh.
You Khalil from the "BLL" podcast show, huh?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me.
I see you've been causing
a lot of trouble on the Internet, Mr. Khalil.
Well, you know, I've been known to be a troublemaker.
So... you single, right?
Single. Single.
Mm-hmm.
[Cellphone dings]
Come on, man, let's finish up, man.
It's your set. It's your go. You go.
Man, I wish somebody'd come to me asking about the "D."
[Laughs]
[Engines revving]
[Knock on door]
Hey.
Hey. You're, like, an hour early.
What's up?
Well, I got some bad news.
I figured I'd tell you in person.
Great. More bad news.
What is it now?
Just go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off.
Well, we lost two endorsements
due to last week's meltdown,
and sponsors have made their decision.
And?
What's up, y'all?
Jabari, what is he doing here?
See, that's what I was trying to tell you.
Khalil's contractually a part of the show,
and the sponsors want him to take over for a while.
They want to do a series on why men cheat.
What?! No.
Mnh-mnh. Let me call Carmen.
This is my show, Khalil.
Nah, it's our show, baby.
We signed this deal together as a couple.
I've been trying to tell you what's been going on,
but you seem more concerned with them niggas
on Matchmaker than this podcast.
- Matchmaker? - Snitch.
The app?
What are you doing on a hookup site, Simone?
Same thing you were doing, Khalil.
- Hooking the fuck up. - Simone...
That ain't even you.
And you are obvious proof that people change.
Look, I ain't here to argue with you.
You know this TV deal depends on both of us, not just you.
And it's not gonna happen without me.
So regardless of your little feelings,
I'm not gonna let you mess this up.
Me mess this up? Me?
This is all your fault, Khalil!
You couldn't even keep your little pee pee in your pants
long enough to secure our future.
You and I both know ain't nothing in my pants little.
- You know wh... - Okay, please don't do this.
[Sighs]
Khalil...
Fuck you!
Hey.
Man, these people be crazy, huh?
[Door shuts]
Man, come on, man.
[Screams]
Fuck!
[Cellphone chimes]
♪♪
♪ Hello ♪
I'm just trying to call and talk to you because,
like, I understand everything. No, no, no, listen, 'cause...
♪ I know you got your thing going on ♪
♪ And I don't mean no harm, and it's no tea, no shade ♪
♪ But if we talking on just like our poems ♪
♪ I think you'd be better with me than your old girl but ♪
♪ That's just my ego talking, hard for me to just ignore it ♪
♪ Kind of like those warnings we gave each other ♪
♪ In the early morning conversations ♪
♪ That kept me up contemplating, waiting
♪ For the time that we could take when it's right ♪
♪ But I'm tired of trying to act like I'm fine ♪
♪ When you pop out with a new boo, so true ♪
♪ You can't front that look in your eye ♪
♪ Me and you is different
♪ But it's like time just ain't ever on our side ♪
♪ I ain't even gotta hit it ♪
♪ I get high when our minds collide ♪
♪♪
♪ I know I done sent you songs ♪
♪ But it's like none of them can really say it for me ♪
♪ So I wrote my own ♪
♪ And I'm just hoping when you finally listen ♪
♪ That you don't raise up your arms and be alone ♪
I know his ass did not ghost me.
Even the nice ones ain't shit.
[Water running]
[Chuckles]
Good morning. Did you say something?
Good morning to you.
And I was just talking to myself.
Okay.
Um, last night was a very pleasant surprise.
You've been very patient and consistent, and you deserved it.
So, um, when can I see you again?
- Well, that depends on... - [Cellphone chimes]
[Giggles]
[Chuckles]
Wait. Where you going?
Maybe you can call me when
you're not so busy.
No. Look.
You've got my undivided attention.
Maybe we could get something to eat.
I don't want our date to end yet.
- I guess I got a little time. - What do you want to go?
- Well, we could go to this... - [Cellphone chimes]
I'll see you around, Simone.
- Why you saying it like that? - Don't say it like that.
Look, I told you at the coffee shop,
and I will say it again. I'm looking for a wife,
focused, cooperative, feminine, to help me with these goals.
And if you receive that many alerts from matchmaker.
I don't think we're on the same page.
[Cellphone chimes]
I hope you find what you're looking for, Simone.
♪♪
- [Cellphone chimes] - Leave me alone.
- I like this Angel Hair. - Mnh-mnh. Put that down, girl.
Be attracting stuff.
Excuse me.
I've been looking for a new bonnet 'cause
- mine is stretched out of shape. - [Cellphone chimes]
Oh, look at this. This got, like, a band on it,
but it's too loose. I don't like it.
These ones are like silk inside and out.
I think silk supposed to, like, protect your edges or something.
Or you wouldn't be it.
And it got like... oh, it has a drawstring,
to, like, make it tighter. This is cool.
Let's do this.
Mm-hmm.
[Sighs] Get on my nerves.
♪♪
[Cellphone chimes]
♪♪
Alright, man, we got king Khalil in the studio
today talking about the fallout
from him and Simone Starr's breakup.
So, Khalil, you know, all the ladies,
they got the same questions.
Why? They thought y'all was so happy, man.
See, bro, you know,
people look at our relationship from the outside,
and they assume we this perfect couple, you know?
But we know shit ain't perfect, man.
Nah. That's true.
These women want to turn every little celebrity
into "couple goals,"
not knowing what's going on behind closed doors.
No, not at the end of the day.
You know, it's like these online strangers have this,
this high expectation of you, right?
And they don't even know you.
I can admit I was wrong,
and I should have did the mature thing
and broke things off with Simone,
or been honest about my intentions
so that at least she had a choice.
But if I'm...
If I'm being honest, I definitely do feel bad.
But at the same time,
I have to accept the fact that I'm not the same man
I once was when we met.
Uh, but any high value man knows that when you level up
some people just got to get left behind.
Boy, you are high value lying. Come on.
[Knock on window]
Shit.
Si-money, what's good? You a'ight?
It's Simone and, yeah, I'm fine.
Just watching some lame ass podcast.
Yeah? Alright. Come walk with me.
Come on.
I got you. You in my hood.
Yo, y'all, this my little woo up I was telling you about, Simone.
- Simone, it's the gang. - What up, what up, what up?
Yeah.
Sit your pretty ass right here, girl.
You got for me, man. Appreciate it.
I got you, babe. Mm.
- Mm? - Yeah. You beautiful as fuck.
You deserve that.
Come on. Take a ride with me right quick.
Damn.
Got it.
♪ Hey, yo, say you ball for this shit ♪
[Engine revving]
[Ayoza's "Out Da Gate" feat. [Big Moochie Grape playing]
[Indistinct rapping]
♪♪
♪ We out da gate, we out da gate ♪
♪ We out da gate ♪
[Ayoza's "Out Da Gate" feat. [Big Moochie Grape continues]
♪♪
♪ We out da gate, we out da gate ♪
♪ We out da gate ♪
♪ We out da gate, we out da gate ♪
♪ We out da gate
[Ayoza's "Out Da Gate" feat. [Big Moochie Grape continues]
♪♪
♪ We out da gate, we out da gate ♪
♪ We out da gate ♪
So you say you from up north, huh?
Yeah Philly.
You miss it?
Um, the only thing I really miss is the snow.
- It doesn't snow out here. - Yeah.
It's almost Christmas and today was like 80 degrees earlier.
Y'all seasons are crazy.
Yeah, you right. Mm.
- Mnh-mnh. - Man, come on.
You ain't gonna smoke with me?
- I mean, I don't really smoke. - I had before, but...
- Man, you need to loosen up. - Hit this shit.
Yeah. Come on.
Mnh-mnh.
What?
Come on. I'm gonna show you how to do it.
[Coughing]
Damn. You're not used to that shit.
How old you say you was again?
[Coughs] About to be 30.
- Yeah. I like cougars. - What? I'm not that old.
I mean I like older bitches.
My bad. I like bitches. Older bitches.
Excuse you?
I'm sorry. Look, I mean no disrespect.
I like older ladies. My bad.
Oh, yeah. 'Cause I don't play that
getting called out my name shit for real.
Matter of fact, give me that.
[Laughs]
- Alright. - I'll throw this away.
Yo, what's up?
Damn, baby, you need to come fuck with a real nigga.
This nigga got you out here on trash duty and shit.
- Nah... - Hey, my nigga, you cool?
You don't see me standing right here?
- Yeah, I see you, nigga. So? - Well, nigga, this mine.
You need to pull out fore I make this shit real hot
out here.
Cool, bro.
- You good? - Yeah, I think so.
Come on.
Why are you looking at me like that?
I told you, I like older ladies.
You're a baddie.
So we gonna fuck or what?
What?
♪ Low key I been in my feelings ♪
♪ Low key I been drinkin', sippin' ♪
♪ Is this love or am I trippin'? ♪
♪ You know I would
♪ You know I'd ride for you, you know I'd die for you ♪
♪ You know I'd ride, early in the morning ♪
♪ I've been dreaming, I've been thinking of you ♪
♪ Wanna touch my toes and bend it over, bust it open for you ♪
♪ You said you would ride, ride, ride ♪
♪ Baby, you lied, lied, lied
I gave you my all.
♪ But when it was time, you ain't slide ♪
♪ I like it rough, I'll call your bluff ♪
♪ I just wanna fuck, have you had enough? ♪
♪ Pick me up and toss me around, yeah, I'd get nasty for you ♪
♪ Why would you play with me?
Girl!
♪ I'll never trust again, I'll never love again ♪
♪ Gave all my time to you, cross my heart and hope to die ♪
♪ I was your getaway but you let me slip away ♪
♪ Put my heart in a sunken place, now I can't stand ♪
And I'm your host, the king Khalil.
And this is the Black Love and Liberation podcast,
because black love is a revolutionary act.
See you next week.
Whew.
Yo.
Yo, where's Simone at today?
I don't know.
I just know she didn't want to be here while you was here.
Who can blame her?
Hey, bro.
I know you and Simone been friends for a long time,
but, um, you know how these women are, man.
I'm not sure what you mean.
They don't know what they want.
I mean, she mad now,
but when that little loneliness set in,
she gonna come looking for me.
Then I gotta decide if, um, I even want her ass anymore.
Alright. Hey, look, bro,
you're not gonna talk about Simone like that, for real.
I'm trying to keep this shit cordial.
Oh, okay.
I see it now.
You got a thing for Simone.
Yeah. I see it.
Boy, you been playing the friend zone like a champ.
My nigga.
What's it been, 10 years?
You the real MVP of simping.
Nah. You see, the difference between me and you is
- I'm really her real friend. - Right.
You see, I don't pretend to care about her.
See, I would never hurt her the way you did.
I've been trying to protect her from niggas like you.
And what a simple ass nigga like you don't understand is,
bitches love niggas like me.
Oh, yeah.
They'll come and talk to a nigga like you.
Cry on your shoulder and all that shit.
But when they leave you and need they back blown out?
They come and find a nigga like me.
And that's just the way of the world, bro.
See you next week, man.
- See you next week, Carmen. - Bye, Khalil.
Simone.
This deal is gonna fall apart
if we don't get the show back on track.
The numbers took a nosedive today with Khalil hosting.
Jazzy On Go is killing us in impressions right now.
Khalil is not gonna be able to hold it together alone.
Call me back.
What? Simone,
I know you know how important this interview is to me.
Benny's at work till like 4:00,
and the ride share is like $70, bro.
Call me back. You're my only hope, friend.
♪ I be in my bed, she be in the sheets ♪
[People moaning, cellphone vibrating]
♪ I be in my bed, she be in the streets ♪
♪ You do not compare, we cannot compete ♪
♪ Never been a option if it's you or me ♪
♪ Never throwing shade, I don't hate ♪
♪ We all know I'm pressure ♪
♪ Pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure break, break ♪
♪ Did you know that it may come and he won't let up, let up ♪
♪ Been up, trending topic, always known to get it poppin' ♪
♪ Better wake up, wake up, never need a filter ♪
♪ He said I look even better with no makeup, makeup ♪
♪ Never throwing shade, I don't hate ♪
♪ We all know I'm pressure ♪
♪ Forgive me, it's addicting, he wanna stay with me ♪
♪ Don't wanna go, got him all in his feelings ♪
♪ He claim he the realest, I don't wanna hear it ♪
♪ You gotta show, young boss chick, all about my money ♪
♪ I'ma set the bar, make it harder for who coming ♪
♪ Never get to see me body swaying, daddy let me ♪
♪ When the pressure come, all these boys get to running ♪
♪ Pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure ♪
♪ He keep telling all his homeboy he ♪
♪ Pressure, pressure, pressure ♪
♪ He keep telling all his homeboy he ♪
♪ I be in my bed, she be in the streets ♪
♪ You do not compare, we cannot compete ♪
♪ Never been a option if it's you or me ♪
♪ Never doing shade, I don't hate ♪
♪ We all know I'm pressure, pressure, pressure break ♪
♪ Did you know that they might come and see my head up ♪
Porsha.
You know I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Please forgive me and make me one of those strong ass cosmos.
I'm not in the mood, Simone.
Porsh, don't do me like that.
I got tied up, and I just forgot.
Forgot one of the most important days of your friend's life?
Girl, you being a little dramatic, don't you think?
But, girl, this man? Ohh.
I can't think about nothing else when I'm with him.
- He's just so... - I know you not sitting here
telling me that you made me miss my interview
because of a dick appointment. That's crazy.
But it ain't no regular dick, though, Porsh. He got...
Girl, fuck you.
Can you tell them it was my fault?
Can they let you reschedule it?
Luckily, my real friend Benny
was able to take a early lunch and drop me off.
I can always depend on him.
♪♪
Hey. Kevin, right?
Simone. What's up?
I saw that drama you had going on online.
- You good? - Yeah.
I'm just fine. Living my best life.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, how about you let me take you to dinner or something?
Well, that would be unprofessional,
wouldn't it, Mr. Carr?
I mean, journalistic integrity at all.
But you did say you was done with
the public opinion of you though, right?
Well played. Using my post against me.
So let's say I pick you up around 8:00?
Mm. I guess we'll see.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
So what, you playing hard to get or something?
Like, it's cool. I like that.
But I look forward to seeing you.
Okay.
On another note, Miss Starr, how's the online dating going?
I'm sure you have some stories
that would make for great content.
Oh, yeah.
It's giving and taking,
but I'm just trusting the process
and learning from my mistakes.
What about Khalil?
- What about him? - Do you think you're over him?
Are you ready to host with him again?
What? Of course I am.
Well, I guess so.
I don't know.
It's like one day, I'm completely over him,
and then the next, I just want to lay in bed
and play in his hair.
Okay, well, you have a couple of weeks
to figure it out before the relaunch.
Let me know if you need anything, okay?
You're the best, Carmen.
I know.
Oh, I just seen Kevin Carr walking out of here.
What y'all got going on?
- Nothing scandalous. - He's just looking for an agent
to help with some of his new ventures.
Mm-hmm. Okay, girl, I hear you.
Oh, don't do it.
- You're crazy. - Mnh-mnh.
- Hey, let me get this. - Okay. See you soon.
See you. Hi, this is Carmen.
♪♪
Please don't do that.
Not trying to tempt...
Benny, can you please tell Porsha
for the hundredth time that I'm sorry?
Porsh. She's sorry.
Damn.
Benny. Did she tell you that she stood me up
because she was too busy getting her cheeks clapped
by that little ghetto boy from Matchmaker?
What?
The one with the tattoo on his face?
Bitch, you keeping secrets. [Both laugh]
I guess her operation ho phase is all that matters now.
- Porsh, stop. - You know me better than anybody.
I really just lost track of time.
Okay, I'll forgive you.
You know I can't stay mad at y'all.
But don't do me like that again, or you gonna catch these hands.
- Understood. - Okay.
Mwah. Mwah.
Yay. Kumbaya.
Now, Simone,
who's that man you going out with tonight?
Oh, Kevin Carr, the newly retired football player
that was on a show a few weeks ago?
You talking about that chocolate man y'all interviewed?
- Yes, sir. That's the one. - He was fine-fine.
I know, right?
We ran into each other at Carmen's office.
He said he's seen all the drama with Khalil
and wanted to treat me to dinner.
Okay. He used to play ball, so you know
he got a little something going on in them pockets.
Mm-hmm.
I see you, Miss Starr, getting dates with ballers
and didn't even have to use the app!
I have noticed a little glow coming up off you.
I see Project Ho Phase is yielding some positive results.
Let's just say I'm learning a lot.
A lot about men and a lot about myself.
And I'm here for it all, friend.
Me, too. It's the growth for me.
Mm-hmm. And, y'all,
I'm thinking about trying something different.
- Ah. - How different?
- Oh. - Mm-hmm.
Okay, so you trying to try a little milk of magnesia.
Mm-hmm.
- Okay, white zaddy. - A little swirl for the culture.
And he's cute. It's giving...
Travis Kelce.
Yep.
And it says he is CEO of a crypto firm,
so you know he got a little check.
Just my type.
Girl, anybody with some money in their hand is your type.
Uh, yeah. Men with money, that's my type.
Y'all, I think I'ma have to cut off the hood bae.
He's just too toxic.
Yeah, 'cause, um, you have never broke a promise to me.
So you have clearly been "dickmatized."
Yeah, friend. You done had your fun.
It's time to move on.
I know. But every time I see him,
it's like that logic just goes right out the window.
That's what that toxic eggplant will do to you.
I have to cut him off.
But it's hard.
It's so hard.
Oh.
Yeah, I think so. Is it a warehouse?
Is it safe out here?
Okay.
Hey.
Glad you could make it.
Damn, you look good.
You don't look bad yourself.
What is this place?
I probably can show you better than I can tell you.
Come on.
[Kendrick P.'s "Wish List" playing]
♪♪
♪ Yeah, whoa, oh, oh ♪
♪ KP, baby ♪
♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Distance, I hate this distance, love ♪
♪ Missing, tired of missing ya ♪
♪ Don't need no mistletoe for me to kiss on you ♪
♪ What's on your wish list? ♪
♪ I'm getting it this Christmas, oh ♪
♪ Truth is, you're the best thing ♪
♪ I won't lose this
♪ Ain't no hoes, no
♪ Cut them loose ends ♪
♪ Got me movin' unusually ♪
♪ Take you shopping out in Houston ♪
♪ You deserve more, let me prove it ♪
♪ Oh Let me show you.
♪ What you need it'll be under this tree ♪
♪ Christmas every day when you're my baby ♪
♪ I need you to know that you're amazing ♪
♪ So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus ♪
♪ Have 'em all saying ♪
♪ Christmas every day when you're my baby ♪
♪ I need you to know that you're amazing ♪
♪ So I'll be your everyday Santa Claus ♪
♪ Have 'em all saying ♪
♪ Why he do that? ♪
♪ He spending bank
♪ He get it all for her
♪ She pop out in the latest fashion ♪
♪ Have 'em lost for words ♪
♪ And I know her worth
♪ Hit me one call and I fill her purse ♪
♪ Held me down... ♪
[Clears throat]
What the hell is going on here?
Oh. [Chuckle]
My bad.
Simone, this is Leilani.
Leilani, this is Simone,
the woman I was telling you about.
Hi.
[Scoffs]
I still don't understand what's going on here, Kevin.
[Moaning in distance]
Well, I saw where you posted that you was on this journey,
you know, looking to try new experiences.
So, me and Leilani, we're looking for a third.
Thought you might be interested.
A third what?
We're poly.
We're looking for another woman.
What? Are you serious?
- Hmph. - Mnh-mnh.
Yeah, I mean [Chuckles]
you were kind of already in a poly relationship with Khalil.
[Chuckles] You just didn't know it.
Or maybe you were pretending not to know.
You know, over here,
we like to keep things real open and honest.
Mm.
You know what?
Kevin, you and your little freaky ass minion over there,
y'all lose my contact, alright?
Forever.
Mnh, goodbye.
[Indistinct chatter in distance]
You sure?
♪ Christmas every day when you're my baby ♪
♪ I need you to know that you're amazing ♪
♪ I'll be your everyday Santa Claus ♪
♪ Have 'em all saying ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Santa Claus, baby, one call and I'll hit you off ♪
♪♪
[Vehicle door closes]
[Sighs]
You can't just spring something like that on somebody.
[Exhales slowly]
These niggas is crazy. [Sighs]
You know what?
I'm-a just be celibate.
Yep, I'm gonna be celibate because it's not worth it.
This is not worth it. Nope. [Cellphone chimes]
[Sighs]
[Chuckles lightly]
[Traffic passing]
[Message chimes]
[Vehicles passing]
[Chuckles]
[Both moaning]
- Ah... - Mm...
Oh.
[Both sigh]
[Exhales sharply]
What you about to do?
I guess I'm gonna leave.
- I mean, Look. - Let me run you downstairs.
Then I gotta make a few runs.
I thought you wanted to talk to me about something.
Yeah. It's probably best that we take a break.
Damn. I thought we was having fun.
No, I do have a lot of fun with you.
It's just...
I got a lot of things I need to focus on right now.
And I don't need any distractions.
I mean, sometimes you need a good distraction, though, right?
[Tires squeal]
Hey, look. Come on.
- What? - Get in the car.
- What's going on?
No. Just go. Go!
Go! [Vehicle door closes]
[Gunshots]
[Gunfire] [Tires screech]
[Gunfire continues]
[Sirens wailing in distance]
♪♪
[Sirens wailing]
♪♪
[Door creaks open]
[Objects clattering]
[Door creaks close]
[Exhales heavily]
Hey.
Porsha said you was going out tonight,
so I thought I'd work on some stuff for the relaunch.
[Shoe thuds]
I can pack it up, though.
You're fine.
Just keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.
I'm just gonna sit right here.
Rough day?
[Sighs] You have no idea.
I think I'm a trap queen now.
What?
Never mind.
Why are men such trash, Jabari?
They're either narcissistic, insecure,
or they just crazy.
Well, maybe it's just the ones you're picking.
Trust me. [Yawns]
I've had a variety of all kinds.
They're all crazy.
They can't all be crazy, Simone.
99.9%.
Well, everybody except for you.
You're one of the good ones.
So your little experiment isn't going well, huh?
Is that bad?
"Game of Thrones" finale bad.
That's pretty bad. [Chuckles]
Oh, I hate to make it worse.
But... you should see this.
Is this y'all's queen?
Miss Simon Starr, relationship guru?
Sluttin' around town with your local thugs.
But you were just tryna hunch on me last week, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got all the receipts.
We was good. We was...
We was hot and heavy until she found out I was a bisexual.
[ Sighs ] Whole vibe changed.
I mean, like, homophobic much, Miss Starr?
Let this be a warning to all of y'all.
Don't ever play with my feelings
unless... you wanna get exposed.
On my soul.
[Sighs] You know what?
- Hm? - I don't even care.
People are gonna believe what they want to believe anyway.
I'm spent.
You told me it was real in these streets.
I was not ready.
[Sighs]
Yeah.
Well, maybe the man you need
is right under your nose, Simone.
[Sighs]
[Sighs contendedly]
♪♪
[Keyboard clacking]
♪♪
♪ They tryna tell me ♪
♪ Tell me that I'm good without you ♪
♪♪
♪ Just stay with the things that make you feel good ♪
♪♪
♪ But I don't see it saving me ♪
♪ Pretty on a shelf, it's clear to see ♪
♪ That I can see right through it ♪
♪ Looking so translucent, being all elusive ♪
♪ That's why all I want for Christmas is you ♪
♪ Ain't nobody else gonna love me like you ♪
♪ Not entertaining thoughts of the mysteries ♪
♪ Or the fairy tales ♪
♪ All I want for Christmas is you ♪
♪ Why, oh, why-why-why-why ♪
♪ They try, try, try-y-y-y ♪
♪ To hide, hi-i-i-i-ide ♪
♪ Behind li-li-i-i-ies ♪
♪ We just wanna look good ♪
♪ Cravin' the attention ♪
♪ We don't know when to stop ♪
♪ So we keep going till we drop, yeah ♪
♪ Let me tell you 'bout a little thing that I know of ♪
♪ It can give you everything you need ♪
♪ Oh, just look up ♪
♪ All I want for Christmas is you ♪
♪ Ain't nobody else gonna love me like you ♪
♪ Not entertaining thoughts of the mysteries ♪
♪ Or the fairy tales ♪
♪ All I want for Christmas is you ♪
- [Rapping] - ♪ Yeah, yeah I got you ♪
♪ You got me, we gon' hold it down ♪
♪ Hey, got my squad, family, no one else around ♪
♪ Hey, I'm feeling blessed, so I give him thanks ♪
♪ We're one of a kind, you cannot replace ♪
♪ Got all I need, no upgrade, yeah ♪
♪ He made us new, new update ♪
♪ And I'm hoping that you stick around me ♪
♪ Just stay in the circle, we all connected ♪
♪ Just like an Audi ♪
♪ When I feel like I'm going off the rails ♪
♪ You keeping me grounded
♪ You showin' me love and taking me up ♪
♪ I'm glad that you found me, found me ♪
All I want for Christmas is you ♪
♪ Ain't nobody else gonna love me like you ♪
♪ Not entertaining thoughts of the mysteries... ♪
I don't know if he's Mr. Right,
but he's definitely Mr. Right now.
Hold on, y'all. Say hi to him.
These are my besties I was telling you about.
Hey, what's going on, y'all?
Wait. Hold on, y'all. Let me take this.
Hey, Carmen. What's up?
Good news, mamita,
The sponsors want you back for next week's show.
I know you're in Bali.
I just need you back in the States by Tuesday, okay?
Sure. No problem. I'll be there.
Okay. Perfect. Enjoy the rest of the trip.
Thank you, Carmen.
[Indistinct chatter]
How many women were there, Khalil?
Uh, I... I can't say.
Wow.
That many, huh?
I apologize for hurting you, Simone.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth throwing away everything we worked hard for?
I had to grow as a man.
And unfortunately
you were a casualty of that growth.
Now, I'm not proud of what I did,
but I don't regret it either.
Maybe I was naive to believe that...
I'd be with my college sweetheart forever.
This is not your fault, Simone.
You did everything you needed to do.
It's just...
We outgrew each other.
And that's okay.
I just don't want you to hate me.
I just never envisioned my life without you.
I loved you.
I thought we were perfect.
But I guess it's all a facade.
That's not true.
I never lied about my feelings for you.
I truly loved you.
It's just
you weren't enough.
♪♪
[Exhales sharply]
♪♪
[Indistinct chatter]
[Laughing] What?
Whoa! Slow down, Sim.
- Mm-hmm. - That's like your fifth shot.
Yeah, friend.
I ain't seen you drink like this since Mardi Gras 2015.
And, uh, nobody want to relive that.
I'm fine.
Matter of fact
fuck Khalil!
King Khalil.
Hmph.
You know what?
If it wasn't for me and Jabari's idea
to start this podcast
he'd still be an old
dusty
instant selling Khalil from the West Side.
Porsh, cut her off.
Copy that.
I want... [Hiccups]
I want another shot.
Whoa. I'm about to take you home.
You in here acting like a drunk cartoon character.
Yeah, get Miss Mama home safely 'cause she torn up.
Yeah, I got her. Come on, Lil' Wino.
- Jabari, you're so sweet. - Okay. Yeah.
[Groans] Let's go. Forget the jacket.
I got it. Just walk.
God dang.
[Both laughing]
Oh. Figured y'all would be here.
Khalil, why are you always everywhere I'm at?
- King, stop stalking me. - Whoa!
I got it from here, bro.
Hey, you think I'm gonna trust her with you?
- Nah, player. - Nah, bro.
What me and Simone got going on, ain't none of your business.
This is my girl.
You play your position, friend zone.
That's not your girl no more, Khalil.
See, you forgot what you did.
You forgot what you said on that live?
Right, Captain Simp capes again.
Look, you can say whatever you want about me.
But I know a low-value nigga like you will never bother me.
Oh, nigga, you bothered.
You hell a bothered.
[Footsteps receding]
Nah, not at all. [Vehicle door closes]
- [Tires squeal] - Simone.
- [Sighs] - Damn.
What's going on out here?
Where's Simone?
- She left. - By herself?
Yeah. She must've caught a rideshare. [Scoffs]
Friend, when are you gonna tell Simone how you feel.
What?!
Man, what are you talking about?
Jabari.
I know I act crazy, but I ain't no damn fool.
And I see the way you been looking at her.
And it's the same way you was looking at her since college.
You in love, bro?
Benny, you must be drunk, alright.
You talking crazy.
- Facts. I am drunk. - [Scoffs]
but I know what I'm saying.
And all that shy shit, it don't work nowadays.
You gonna have to shoot your shot, bro.
Man. Simone's on some whole other stuff right now, so.
You talking about them niggas on that app?
She don't like none of them niggas.
And she still maintaining her low body count.
Don't judge, my friend. You and God know heart.
She's a good girl.
Plus she going through some things, you know.
But maybe this is the universe opening up the doors for you.
Don't miss out on your love, bro.
Now I am about to go get another drink
and go see what this Latin boy talking about at the bar.
Alright?
[Vehicles passing]
[Marlé Blu's "Back to the Streets" playing]
♪ Shit, shit, shit
♪ Fuck a bad bitch, I'm a beast ♪
♪ I ain't no snack, it's a feast ♪
♪ Pockets real fat, obese ♪
♪ This shit poppin' like grease ♪
♪ Take a number two on the beat ♪
♪ Heart so cold need heat ♪
♪ Used to have a nigga on a leash ♪
♪ Gave his ass back to the streets ♪
♪ Make him do a trick for the treats ♪
♪ Tell that boy sit take a seat ♪
♪ Gave his ass back to the streets ♪
♪ One thing bout me, I'ma eat ♪
♪ Take a I, get it back in the week ♪
♪ Feel like a dog, uh ♪
♪ Feelin' like a dog, huh
♪ Feel like a dog, uh
♪ Bad bitch, I don't give a shit ♪
♪ Body super thick ♪
♪ Kiddy grip, bitin' like a pit ♪
♪ Make that doggy sit
♪ He a trick make him spin the grip ♪
♪ Bitch I hit the lick ♪
♪ If he don't buy me what I want ♪
♪ Then I throw a fit
♪ Heard this single put this pussy Ye ♪
♪ $6 billion that's a whole lot of Yeezys ♪
♪ Had to work for a minute shit wasn't easy ♪
♪ Diamonds in my watch are yellow like bees, bzz ♪
♪ Pull up in a Stingray
♪ Inside all white like Green Day ♪
♪ Got the body of a goddess ♪
♪ Butt naked lookin' back like Venus ♪
♪ Fuck a bad bitch, I'm a beast ♪
♪ I ain't no snack, it's a feast ♪
♪ Pockets real fat, obese
♪ This shit poppin' like grease ♪
♪ Takin number two on the beat ♪
♪ Heart so cold need heat ♪
♪ Used to have a nigga on a leash ♪
♪ Gave his ass back to the streets ♪
♪ Make him do a trick for the treat ♪
♪ Tell that boy sit take a seat ♪
♪ Gave his ass back to the streets ♪
♪ One thing bout me, I'ma eat ♪
♪ Take a I, get it back in a week ♪
Thanks, Steve. I'm on location in front of the Federal Trade Commission
in downtown Atlanta, where we just received
breaking news from our newsroom.
There's been a raid at the offices
of the cryptocurrency exchange Coinstock in Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm throwing it to Donna Pierre, who's live on the scene.
Donna, can you tell us what's going on out there?
Thanks, Kevin.
We've been here for about 30 minutes,
and we've seen several FBI agents go into the building
and bring out boxes full of files.
They have declined to make a comment at this time,
but we'll wait until they're ready to make a statement.
Oh, it looks like they're bringing someone out.
Someone is actually being detained at this moment.
We can't see who it is, but...
Oh, my goodness, Kevin,
it is the CEO of Coinstock that has been detained here,
Chadwick Bainbridge.
He's in handcuffs currently.
And we've just heard that Coinstock offices
in Miami and New York are also being raided.
Agents are in route
to confiscate Mr. Bainbridge's other assets.
Three houses and six luxury cars here in Atlanta.
♪♪
[Sighs]
[Rap music plays indistinctly over radio]
Can you turn it to something else, please?
There's a raid at Coinstock right here...
Just turn it off.
Chadwick Bainbridge is in handcuffs.
Thanks.
[Christmas music playing]
Y'all, this whole life just ain't for me.
Yeah, you're not cut out for the streets, sis.
I mean, you lived and you learn.
- That was the goal, right? - Did I though?
I already knew that the dating pool was full of pee.
Just jumped my ass right up in it.
I mean, it's better than chasing behind Khalil.
Nasty ass.
You had your fun and you got some much needed nasty time.
So what's the problem?
I'm just gonna date myself for a while.
It's safe.
So, um, if you're not gonna use it,
can I get the contact info for Prison Bae?
'Cause, child!
Right, I'm trying to get Sugar Daddy's number,
but she's playing.
[Laughs] I know that.
[Laughter]
Y'all can have my phone.
It was definitely a wild ride with lots of twists and turns.
But no, I don't feel like every woman needs a hoe phase.
But I do believe
that every woman should go through a self-love phase.
Loving yourself is the only way
to truly find your own happiness.
The thing about love is you can't force it
and you can't limit it.
It's out of our control.
Love is something that
doesn't come always when you want it,
but it's right there when you need it.
This is the Black Love and Liberation podcast.
And we're your hosts, Simone Starr
and the King Khalil,
your guide to love and light
coming soon to your favorite network.
See you guys next week.
- Hey. - Sup?
Sorry I pulled off on you the other night.
I just didn't want any more drama.
No, I was childish going back and forth with you, so.
That's on me.
Thanks for always having my back.
You're a really good friend.
Yeah, well, you know I always got you.
Mm-hmm.
I'm seeing you at the Christmas party later, right?
Now, you know Carmen be having
all the little celebrities at her function.
Right. Bet.
Well, I have to go.
You know, I have, like, class anyway, so.
Jabari, how long are you gonna be in school?
Damn, you can't learn everything.
Yeah, I'm gonna learn as much as they let me.
- I'll see you. - Bye.
Hey, um, can we talk for a second?
Khalil, we have nothing to talk about.
Simone.
What if...
What if I wanted to fix this?
Really? You hurt me way too much for that.
Simone.
I made a mistake. I fucked up.
But why don't we do what we tell our followers and our viewers
and try to fix this?
Because we have way too much history
just to just to watch it go to waste.
And that's exactly what it is.
History. The past.
If you could disrespect and humiliate me like that,
then our history really never meant anything to you.
Now I'm gonna continue hosting this podcast with you
for the sake of my career.
But you'll never be with me again.
So what?
You're just gonna run up your body count on this dating app?
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
But what I do with this box is no longer your concern.
♪♪
[Chatter]
♪♪
♪ Gon' buy me what I want best believe he gon' spend it ♪
♪ On the first day of Christmas my nigga gave to me ♪
♪ Prada bag, Gucci bag with a new G ♪
♪ On the second day of Christmas my nigga gave to me ♪
Yes, I am here, honey.
Now we can start the party.
Oh, unh-unh, Ms. Simone Starr.
I'ma need some Christmas cheer or some holiday spirit, boo.
The face is beat, the body is snatched,
and the titties are perky.
But the attitude not givin'.
I'm just not feeling it right now, baby.
But you need to get like Ms. Porsha over there.
Looking like she bout to unwrap a whole man-size Christmas gift.
No thank you.
I think I'm taking a break on dating.
- That's a good idea. - You did a lot this month.
A break is exactly what you need.
Or maybe not.
Hmm?
♪ Keeping a lace to my ear
♪ He gon' buy me what I want ♪
Unh-unh.
Okay! You clean up nice.
I haven't seen you in real clothes since graduation.
Whatever, man.
- Is Simone here? - Yeah. She here.
You ready though?
I don't know, man.
Hey, maybe it's not such a good idea.
Wait. Listen. No negative vibes.
Big dick energy only.
- Okay. Okay, man. - Alright?
So look. Stand right here.
And I'll be right back.
Alright.
♪♪
What is he doing?
That's your friend.
Take some shots. Come on.
Mm.
Ech! That's not good.
Why do I get the feeling that he wants us to talk?
Well, I got something I gotta say,
and I just need you to hear me out.
Ask me out already. Damn, Jabari!
Wait. What?
I like you, too.
I've been waiting for you to ask me out.
- For real? - Yes, boy.
I mean, that's if you'll still have me.
Look, I know I've been a little out of character
these last few weeks.
Yeah, well, I know that's not you.
Just going through some things.
I'm not gonna lie, though. It's killing me.
You're a really good friend.
Well, I don't know what to say now.
Say whatever you're gonna say before.
I want to hear it.
What I was gonna say was that, you know,
I always had a soft spot for you.
Ever since that first little awkward date sophomore year.
- It was definitely awkward. - Yeah.
And before I had the courage to ask you out again,
Khalil came along and you seemed happy.
- I didn't want to mess that up. - [Clears throat]
♪♪
[Chatter]
Oh. Y'all cute.
So I guess Operation Hoe Phase is officially over.
Girl, it was over the minute I had to run from the FBI.
Never let me do anything crazy like that again.
Matter of fact...
No more app, no more crazy.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. No more app.
Cross my heart.
- Mmm! - Uh, okay.
Speak for yourself.
I just made my profile last week
and, uh, my page popping.
I might need me a hoe phase myself.
Benny, you been a hoe for the last ten years.
What the fuck are you talking about?
- [Laughter] - Shade!
- That's our song! - Oh!
♪ Keep a lace to my ear
♪ He gon' buy me what I want ♪
♪ Best believe he gon' spend it ♪
♪ Keep a lace to my ear ♪
♪ He gon' buy me what I want ♪
♪ Best believe he gon' spend it ♪
♪ Got it on the beat ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't wanna do Christmas without you ♪
♪ I don't wanna
do Christmas without you ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't wanna do Christmas without you ♪
♪ Without, without your love ♪
♪ I ain't want it without you ♪
♪♪
♪ We not together this season I know that it hit you ♪
♪ She be with them ♪
♪ But she say she still know I'm that nigga ♪
♪ She always call 'cause she say that I'm always gon' get her ♪
♪ I got you forever
♪ Now ain't it funny how it goes ♪
♪ It's so strange how could life change ♪
♪ I heard the reason you left it wasn't the right thing ♪
♪ I would have let you be the star ♪
♪ And I'm the hype man ♪
♪ Never give in to the hype, man ♪
♪ You the woman I always need in my life, man ♪
♪ Say, what's the cost ♪
♪ I be down just to pay the price, man ♪
♪ And when it's dark you could always bring me the light, man ♪
♪ Yeah, I wanna shine like you ♪
♪ Remember last year gave me a list of all the gifts you wanted ♪
♪ Yeah, I was on it, IG so you can really flaunt it ♪
♪ Your man he don' remember that smile ♪
♪ And all them gifts was on you ♪
♪ I was on two ♪
♪ You got me everything I wanted plus more ♪
♪ What's more crazy never really see what's in store ♪
♪ Just store all the feelings that you have for us, boy ♪
♪ 'Cause oh, boy, what's after me is really after me ♪
♪ And you can never make a masterpiece ♪
♪ I ain't wanna do Christmas without you ♪
♪ I ain't wanna
do Christmas without you ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't wanna do Christmas without you ♪
♪ Without, without your love ♪
♪ I ain't want it without you ♪
♪ Yeah, I left home when I was 17 ♪
♪ Probably in search for what had better be ♪
♪ Bright lights, stages ♪
♪ Probably looking for better things ♪
♪ Had to adjust with what the weather brings ♪
♪ Lonely nights just got me reflecting things ♪
♪ Like I'm proud of my brother David ♪
♪ He's selling cribs now ♪
♪ We used to ride around wishin' we got... ♪