1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,309 ♪♪♪♪ [ethereal music] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:11,228 [lapping water] 5 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,841 [footsteps on concrete] 6 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:27,853 Adrian: Every film I make- 7 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:28,854 every- 8 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,334 they're always kind of- 9 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,337 it always comes back to this kind of family story. 10 00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,773 And I realize- 11 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:37,341 that everybody's shaped by- 12 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,299 [typewriter clacking] 13 00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,083 by their family. 14 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,171 [typewriter carriage creaking] 15 00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,220 When you're adopted- 16 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:49,788 you spend your life feeling isolated. 17 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,312 [film crackling] 18 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,405 [city traffic] 19 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,935 [typewriter clacking] 20 00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:14,552 When a mother's been gestating this child for like nine months- 21 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,164 and then- 22 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:20,036 when that child comes out, they're just- 23 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,255 they just kind of disappear. 24 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,519 But they don't disappear. 25 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,307 [waves crashing] 26 00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,918 [wind blowing] 27 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:38,359 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 28 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:44,800 [water gurgling] 29 00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:01,556 ♪♪♪♪ [droning chords] 30 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,259 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 31 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,594 [seagulls crying] 32 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,604 [bell clanging in distance] 33 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,996 My adoptive mother- 34 00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:53,477 told me I was from Newfoundland. 35 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,000 And from a young age- 36 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,828 that island in the North Atlantic- 37 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:57,742 has been a mythical place. 38 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,836 Seeing the name Baby Boy Cousins on my birth records- 39 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,186 changed everything for me. 40 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,929 I realized I used to be someone else. 41 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,722 Linda Swain: This is On Target St. John's. 42 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,550 My in-studio guests are Adrian Wills- 43 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,507 and Anne Roane Sheldon. 44 00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,640 And Adrian is a filmmaker. 45 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,294 He's from Montreal. 46 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,686 But born in Newfoundland. 47 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,689 And he's starting a journey. 48 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,561 And you don't know where this is going to take you. 49 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:35,258 Adrian: No I don't. 50 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:39,262 What I have is the information that's called a background- 51 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:43,048 like, non-identifying background summary. 52 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,528 So my biological mother- 53 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,444 she was 20 years old, 5'7 tall. 54 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,664 She was one of five children- 55 00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,014 all of whom were in good physical health. 56 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,756 She had completed grade eight in school- 57 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,366 and had been employed- 58 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,541 in a service occupation- 59 00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,326 laundry work. 60 00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:00,718 She was a quiet girl- 61 00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,068 who did not talk very much. 62 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,375 Nor did she find it easy to express her feelings. 63 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,683 Linda: You can see where the mythology starts though- 64 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:09,814 Yeah. 65 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,294 because it's almost poetic. 66 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,254 You get this sense of the person she is- 67 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,124 but not who she is. 68 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,386 Anne: Yes. 69 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:21,173 Linda: You shared with me a very powerful excerpt. 70 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:24,351 Adrian: And so there's this one quote that I read- 71 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,353 that's from a story by Sandra Newman- 72 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,137 called The Fortunate Ones. 73 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,573 And it says- 74 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:33,534 An adopted child is really a wolf raised by humans. 75 00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:34,578 We are loved children. 76 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,797 Bastards. 77 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,103 Unrespectable by blood. 78 00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,931 The world has chosen to raise us- 79 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:42,369 from the goodness of its heart. 80 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:46,242 Our lives are like something found lying in the street. 81 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:49,941 And ours is the world of magic, fairy-tales, and legends. 82 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,335 Mythical figures don't have parents. 83 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,467 Anne: Wow. 84 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,251 I mean, that was the best- written description- 85 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,079 I've ever heard. 86 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,950 But you can always look at your parents- 87 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,736 and say, I don't look like my dad. 88 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,215 I don't look like mom. 89 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,087 I know I belong here- 90 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,784 because they wanted, they chose me. 91 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:07,742 They wanted me. 92 00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:08,960 They chose me. 93 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,179 Right? 94 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,007 But there's something in there that says- 95 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:13,965 I don't belong here. 96 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:19,188 I'd really like to see somebody that I come from. 97 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,625 Like I'd love to see a photo- 98 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,280 or understand- 99 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,455 you know- who these people are. 100 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,456 Mm-hmm. 101 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,198 So once again, babyboycousins- 102 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,330 with an i- 103 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,420 at gmail.com. 104 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,770 So if anybody has the answers that you're looking for- 105 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:39,426 they're welcome to send you an email and pass it along. 106 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,383 Adrian: Please do. 107 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:41,906 Linda: And we wish you all the best- 108 00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,081 whatever the outcome might be. 109 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,345 Adrian: Thanks for everything. 110 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,433 Fabulous! 111 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:47,869 Thank you! Adrian: That was great! 112 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,045 [wind blowing] 113 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,008 Michael Crummey: If you find- 114 00:05:57,139 --> 00:06:00,621 anything about who these people are- 115 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:05,103 that will have a huge impact on your sense of yourself. 116 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,844 - Yeah I think it's- 117 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,325 I think, you know, making this- 118 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:10,892 kind of feels like you're- 119 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,807 looking in- 120 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:13,895 into your own- 121 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,375 but also into other people's secrets. 122 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:16,245 You know? 123 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,202 And- 124 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,203 you know- 125 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:21,119 what is it to be a Newfoundlander? 126 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,078 [Michael chuckles] 127 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:26,255 Michael: I've spent my entire adult life- 128 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:31,173 basically trying to get on paper- 129 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,480 what it is that's unique about this place. 130 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:37,092 There's a particular kind of person- 131 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,573 that's created by those circumstances- 132 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:43,490 where you're living very close to the edge. 133 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,448 And in order to get by- 134 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:49,060 everybody has to rely on everybody else. 135 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,932 There's a particular kind of humour that people developed- 136 00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,934 in order to- 137 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:56,590 to not just survive, but to live. 138 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,547 You know? 139 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,680 Did your adoptive parents- 140 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,422 like how did they find Newfoundland? 141 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,162 Like how did they- ? 142 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,556 Do you have any idea about that? 143 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:07,339 - I like- 144 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,645 the- 145 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:09,733 my mother- 146 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:12,127 my adoptive mother is um- 147 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:16,827 she's maybe not as linear as I am with facts. 148 00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:17,698 Okay . 149 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,700 [Michael laughs] 150 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:22,485 - So, you ever heard of Frog Pond Road? 151 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:23,617 I haven't. 152 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:24,531 No. 153 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,054 - So- and nobody has. 154 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,969 [they laugh] 155 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:33,540 - So, Frog Pond Road was where your- 156 00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:35,629 - mother thinks she picked me up. 157 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,673 Wow. 158 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:40,851 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 159 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,204 - When I was 26- 160 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,467 I went with this friend of mine- 161 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,120 Hannah. 162 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,253 I'd met her in film school. 163 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,297 She said to me, you know- 164 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:53,864 you really need to go back- 165 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,693 to where you come from. 166 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,262 I got a camera from school- 167 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,484 this big video camera. 168 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,529 And we hitch- hiked around- 169 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:07,922 around Newfoundland. 170 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,102 I kept trying to pick up my camera and film with people. 171 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:15,756 But I couldn't. 172 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:19,760 I wasn't ready. 173 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:23,764 Michael: I mean, Newfoundland's famous- 174 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,983 for like just sort of trading children around right? 175 00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,115 Like- 176 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,596 there's too many kids in the family. 177 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,207 And they just sort of like farm them out- 178 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:32,990 but don't tell. 179 00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:34,470 No- 180 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,690 they never knew that- they had been farmed out. 181 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,822 They just sort of grew up in another house- 182 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:42,826 with their parents, they thought. 183 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:46,177 I mean, my mother tells a story about an aunt and uncle of hers- 184 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,745 who wanted to take me. 185 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399 Like they just- 186 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,706 they didn't have children of their own. 187 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,055 And they made a pitch. 188 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:54,882 They said- 189 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,841 Why don't we take this one? 190 00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,930 I mean, I think that's another thing here. 191 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,193 It wouldn't have been unusual- 192 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:05,545 for the parents of the mother to take a child. 193 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:06,894 Right? 194 00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:09,200 And sometimes the mother is just thought of as a- 195 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,333 a much older sister. 196 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,730 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 197 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:25,260 Jean Ann: Early seventies, when I got into adoption first- 198 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,958 there were at any given time- 199 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:31,135 there were hundreds of young children available for- 200 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,834 being relinquished for adoption on a daily basis- 201 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,923 from the two hospitals. 202 00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:41,929 We had so many children under one minister of social services- 203 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:47,195 he came up with the idea of advertising babies- 204 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,763 through the local papers. 205 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:52,200 And if people applied- 206 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:55,420 to adopt in the fall- 207 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:59,033 they were guaranteed to have a baby by Christmas day. 208 00:09:59,163 --> 00:09:59,990 [indistinct chatter] 209 00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,731 [police whistle] 210 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:06,910 Adrian: I'm trying in some way, I think, in this, empathize- 211 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,651 like, with my birth mother. 212 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:09,870 Yeah, I'm just- 213 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,871 I'm trying to piece it together you know? 214 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,568 I'm trying to understand 215 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,962 what brought those choices. 216 00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,834 - We had a large Roman Catholic population. 217 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,619 So if you were Roman Catholic- 218 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,143 you weren't practicing birth control. 219 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,625 - What would it have been like for her- 220 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:26,930 when she went in to St. Clare's? 221 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,454 As an unmarried mother? 222 00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,456 We were still working with- 223 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:34,764 an Illegitimacy Act. 224 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:39,726 And a child, even in the Act, born of unmarried parents- 225 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:40,857 was in black and white- 226 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,903 a bastard. 227 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,037 - My name was Wayne Cousins. 228 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,909 So that's Baby Boy Cousins. 229 00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,388 Cousins. 230 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,781 Your adoptive mother- ? 231 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:52,826 - Yeah- 232 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:53,696 was given this? 233 00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,655 - was given this- 234 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,136 was given my name- 235 00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:03,053 my name at birth. 236 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:06,230 Do you know of anything on Frog Pond Road? 237 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,318 In Montreal? 238 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,363 No, in St. John's. 239 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,364 - Oh here? - Yeah. 240 00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,365 Frog Pond Road? 241 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,454 Never heard of it! 242 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,151 - And would it be normal- 243 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:19,504 that my parents would fly in- 244 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:23,595 to St. John's for 24 hours- 245 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,207 to pick up a child- 246 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,513 and adopt them at three months- 247 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,515 and then leave? 248 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,695 Sounds a bit fishy. 249 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,438 Like I already didn't have any information- 250 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:43,267 about my birth parents. 251 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:46,357 And now I have less information about the story- 252 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,708 that I actually thought- 253 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:52,842 was the one I've been holding on to my whole life. 254 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:53,669 You know? 255 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,931 Yeah. 256 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,324 [wind blowing] 257 00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,240 Adrian: So- 258 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,023 so you have- 259 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,198 you have- 260 00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,243 you have the name of my birth father? 261 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,027 Elaine: I have an approximate age for him. 262 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,333 Oh wow. 263 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,682 So you have the name of my birth father. 264 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:07,944 But you can't release it to me? 265 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,119 - Is that-? - You're cutting out. 266 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,730 Oh sorry, can you hear me now? 267 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:11,600 Is this better? 268 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,775 - It's a little bit scratchy. 269 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:13,994 But okay, yeah. 270 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,300 So you have the name of my birth father. 271 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:19,477 But you don't have a way of finding him- 272 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:20,827 because you found a guy- 273 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,697 No. 274 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:22,567 who's dead. 275 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,526 - No no, what I have- 276 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,615 Okay, six-foot tall, dark hair and what? 277 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,140 - Um- and from Newfoundland. 278 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:31,576 And from Newfoundland. 279 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,449 - We don't know how many people- 280 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:35,493 - And would the Newfoundland government- 281 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,278 ever give me that name- 282 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,148 do you think? 283 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:39,715 No. 284 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,151 They won't. 285 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,587 - You can look it up in the article of the law. 286 00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:44,546 It's in that letter that I sent you. 287 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,591 You know, at this point- 288 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,203 we don't have any choice but to close the file here. 289 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,211 Linda Swain: Eastern Health is implementing measures- 290 00:12:57,341 --> 00:13:00,301 in preparation for a possible COVID-19 outbreak- 291 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,432 in the province. 292 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,565 VOCM's Linda Swain reports. 293 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,219 Eastern Health says- 294 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,047 an emergency operations centre has been established 295 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:09,527 and a COVID-19 Assessment Clinic is being set up- 296 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:10,877 at the Waterford Hospital- 297 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,314 which is expected to be up and running by next week. 298 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,708 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 299 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,720 [computer pings] 300 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,826 I'm nervous to call my mom. 301 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:32,654 [phone pings] 302 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:35,570 Press record on Zoom. 303 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:37,354 Nina: Give us a break. 304 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:38,965 Yeah! 305 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:39,704 We're not as up on- 306 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:40,923 Yeah no. 307 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,011 See, he has record down on the bottom. 308 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,447 - Yeah okay, yeah. - So- 309 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:44,492 Mom- you hear everything mom? 310 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:45,362 Nina: What? 311 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:46,363 I can hear, yeah. 312 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:47,451 Adrian: You can hear me, eh? 313 00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:48,583 - Yeah. - Great. 314 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,846 Nina: So tell me what's the good news. 315 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:54,458 When I came here in March- 316 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,504 remember I told you I was going to go on radio? 317 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:57,897 Nina: No. 318 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:58,810 I did. 319 00:14:58,941 --> 00:14:59,594 We talked about this. 320 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:00,638 I went to- 321 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,031 I went on radio. 322 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,728 I did a radio show. 323 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,253 It's kind of like a mystery, right? 324 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:11,127 You're trying to find out who you are, and- 325 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,433 Mom? 326 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:13,390 Yeah. 327 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:15,784 I'm listening. 328 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,355 - So I've been trying to find out who I am. 329 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,444 Yeah, fair enough. 330 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:24,532 And what happened? 331 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,364 I got contacted. 332 00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:32,322 Nina: Really? 333 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,323 Adrian: Yeah. 334 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:34,672 Nina: Wonderful. 335 00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,413 By your maternal mother? 336 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,330 My maternal mother passed away. 337 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:45,945 In one week, I'm going to go meet my aunt. 338 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,338 And she's going to- 339 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:49,078 uh- 340 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:53,604 give me pictures of my mother. 341 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,302 Nina: Oh that's nice. 342 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,305 And uh- 343 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,524 Nina: [crying] It's lovely. 344 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:03,136 I'm very happy to hear that. 345 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,006 Yeah. 346 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,402 Why are you crying, Mom? 347 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,447 Nina: It's nice for you. 348 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,797 I'm sad for you in a way. 349 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:16,236 I'm happy that you found somebody. 350 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,673 That's really very important for you to do that. 351 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:19,848 I'm happy for you. 352 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,897 We went to the office on Frog Pond Road. 353 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,465 I mean you were dressed up in that little blue hat- 354 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,293 which I saved for you but you never wanted it. 355 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,512 Adrian: Was it a foster home? 356 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:32,513 Nina: No, no, no. 357 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,514 It was an office- 358 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,168 welfare office. 359 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,430 Not a foster home. 360 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,779 You were never in a foster home, ever. 361 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,172 Adrian: I think I was. 362 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,521 Nina: No you weren't. 363 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,961 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 364 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,010 Adrian: I'm going to talk to Kristin too, eh? 365 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,099 I want to talk to her about her adoption. 366 00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:58,669 Nina: She actually had been moved around quite a lot. 367 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,889 She didn't trust anybody. 368 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,588 Took her six months for her to settle down. 369 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:10,812 ♪♪♪♪ [woman humming softly] 370 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:13,728 How do you feel? 371 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:16,252 Adrian: I'm um- 372 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,341 scared. 373 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:19,255 Nina: Yeah. 374 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,039 [wind blowing] 375 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,263 Adrian: So does that- 376 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,352 that means that this is going to last all day. 377 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,920 We can record all conversations- 378 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,445 with my aunt and with her daughter. 379 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,969 Oh, they're going to be here in 25 minutes, so- 380 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:44,672 We have 20 minutes. 381 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,108 19 minutes. 382 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,289 Josh: So can I get a just- 383 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,377 check check from both you guys? 384 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,161 Mara: Yeah, check check check! 385 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,250 Adrian: Hi! 386 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,034 Really, really nice to meet you! 387 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,688 [they laugh] 388 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,603 So nice to meet you! 389 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:03,473 Mara: I'm Mara. 390 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,257 Adrian: Hi Mara. 391 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,388 Really nice to meet you. 392 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:06,694 Mara: Nice to meet you too! 393 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,609 Adrian: Wow! 394 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,741 I can't believe you guys showed up! 395 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:11,612 You know? 396 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,482 [women laugh] 397 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:13,527 Ellen: This is- 398 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963 Adrian: No but- 399 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,138 Ellen: We were going to leave you in the lurch? 400 00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:17,313 Adrian: Yeah! 401 00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:19,446 I was terrified you weren't going to show up. 402 00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:22,971 [church bells chiming in distance] 403 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,148 [foghorn blowing in distance] 404 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,628 [wind blowing] 405 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,632 Ellen: And this is for Adrian. 406 00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:33,112 [Mara laughs] 407 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,330 Adrian: So this is- 408 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,027 so this is Mary Margaret? 409 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,246 Ellen: It is, yeah. 410 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:38,682 Adrian: This is Mary Margaret? 411 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,075 Ellen: Yeah. 412 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,904 Adrian: This- wow! 413 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:43,774 She- she- 414 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,254 she looks so much like me- 415 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,170 when I was like 12! 416 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,567 So this is in Greenspond? 417 00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:54,698 Ellen: Yeah. 418 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:55,569 Mara: She was happy in Greenspond. 419 00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,700 Adrian: She was happy? 420 00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,441 Ellen: She was. 421 00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,616 Yeah. 422 00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:00,661 Adrian: So- so- 423 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:01,531 so tell me- 424 00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:05,013 I mean, tell me- 425 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,362 who she was, and- 426 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,495 Ellen: She was- 427 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,018 uh, quiet- 428 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,019 ♪♪♪♪ [soft organ] 429 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:16,067 and gentle and kind, you know? 430 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,591 Creative, and- 431 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:19,941 Adrian: Was she creative? 432 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,377 Ellen: Yeah! 433 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,255 And then that's Mary Margaret- 434 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,822 her first communion. 435 00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,042 She was seven there. 436 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,221 And there's my father. 437 00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,570 Just look at the height, you know? 438 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,093 He was about 6'7! 439 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:44,879 Adrian: Your father was 6'7? 440 00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:45,749 Ellen: Yeah! 441 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:53,931 Lawrence was the one who came from Ireland, from Kilkenny. 442 00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:54,758 Adrian: Okay, so we- 443 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,238 so we came from Kilkenny? 444 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,065 Ellen: Yeah. 445 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,894 [women laugh] 446 00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:02,462 That's our origin. 447 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,246 We're definitely Irish. 448 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,943 [Mara laughs] 449 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,079 That's the family home. 450 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,211 Adrian: Wow. 451 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:15,170 Ellen: My grandfather built that home. 452 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,912 And we were all born in that house. 453 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,437 Adrian: Wow. 454 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:22,569 Ellen: Yeah. 455 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,180 And that's Mary Margaret and Gerald. 456 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,312 And that's me. 457 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:29,184 I'm eight years old. 458 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:32,927 And this is Mary Margaret and Gerald. 459 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,585 And there she is. 460 00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:39,803 I think that one was taken in Greenspond. 461 00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:43,851 Yeah. 462 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,597 Adrian: So when she had me, she was how old? 463 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:54,340 Ellen: She was 18 when she got pregnant. 464 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,863 Adrian: She was working in laundry works? 465 00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,081 Ellen: Yes. 466 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,083 And after she became pregnant- 467 00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:01,869 she moved back home. 468 00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,131 Adrian: And your mom knew? 469 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,959 Ellen: Yeah. 470 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:06,656 Adrian: And then she just went into the hospital and that was- 471 00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:08,267 Ellen: Yeah. 472 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:12,662 And I went in to see her. 473 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,273 And she was- 474 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,144 lying on her side. 475 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,581 And um- you know- 476 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:22,281 she was just looking at the wall. 477 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,761 And I left there- 478 00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:26,676 and went to the nursery. 479 00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:31,202 And I asked to see baby Cousins. 480 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,422 And the nurse came. 481 00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:34,684 And she said, I'm sorry. 482 00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:36,425 You can't see that baby. 483 00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:39,646 But she was so harsh, you know? 484 00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:50,961 Norm: I was a pallbearer at the funeral. 485 00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:54,965 Ah. 486 00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:57,968 That's your mom. 487 00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:01,363 That's how I remember her. 488 00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:05,672 I don't think she changed much- 489 00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:08,544 as she got older. 490 00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,374 - When did you meet Mary? 491 00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:18,380 - I guess when she came here with Ernie. 492 00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:22,645 Ernie was the lighthouse keeper on Puffin Island. 493 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:23,777 And there were times when- 494 00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:24,647 when Mary would- 495 00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:25,866 would go out- 496 00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,390 go out with him. 497 00:22:28,521 --> 00:22:29,783 And uh- 498 00:22:30,305 --> 00:22:32,438 the day of the funeral was- 499 00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:34,265 [wind blowing] 500 00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:36,355 it was snowing. 501 00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:38,618 Not a good day. 502 00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:39,836 We were up- 503 00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:41,229 to the Salvation Army cemetery- 504 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,450 which is up there on the hill. 505 00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:47,583 Why was she buried in the Salvation Army cemetery? 506 00:22:47,714 --> 00:22:49,498 I believe she was a soldier. 507 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:56,766 It's the quasi- military religion- 508 00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:57,767 an army of God. 509 00:22:57,898 --> 00:22:59,029 [wind blowing] 510 00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:17,134 When Mary was talking to you- 511 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:21,791 she'd sort of look right into your eyes. 512 00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:23,924 Several times now, you went- 513 00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:25,055 [Adrian laughs] 514 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:26,666 That's what she used to do. 515 00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:27,971 Oh yeah? 516 00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:44,510 What do you know about how she passed? 517 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:46,468 - I don't know- 518 00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:47,382 if some of Ernie's family- 519 00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:49,079 I didn't know. 520 00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:52,779 All I knew, she had passed away. 521 00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:55,825 But what happened to her, I don't know. 522 00:23:58,306 --> 00:23:59,438 Do you know where she was? 523 00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,049 Somewhere on the mainland. 524 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,705 That's all we knew. 525 00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:27,727 Ellen: She went away- 526 00:24:27,857 --> 00:24:29,685 I think it was in '95- 527 00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:33,384 Adrian: to- to- to- 528 00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:34,821 Ellen: to Sault Ste. Marie. 529 00:24:34,951 --> 00:24:37,388 And I have no idea why she went there- 530 00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:39,260 or who she went with- 531 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:41,784 because she, to my knowledge- 532 00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:43,699 she never left the island. 533 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:47,050 And here she up and goes to Sault Ste. Marie. 534 00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:48,965 Who goes to Sault Ste. Marie? 535 00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:58,279 Adrian: How did she pass away? 536 00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,324 Ellen: [crying] She died by choice. 537 00:25:01,717 --> 00:25:02,718 Adrian: Oh wow. 538 00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:05,416 Ellen: [crying] She- 539 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:08,768 I don't know what medication she was taking, you know? 540 00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:10,334 But she took it all- 541 00:25:10,465 --> 00:25:12,685 and died in her sleep. 542 00:25:12,815 --> 00:25:13,860 You know? 543 00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:16,340 Adrian: Ohhh wow. 544 00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:21,302 Ellen: I'm so sorry to have to tell you that Adrian. 545 00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:23,522 Adrian: Ohhh. 546 00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:30,920 [distant siren] 547 00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:34,097 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 548 00:25:45,631 --> 00:25:46,675 I didn't expect that. 549 00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:48,982 I didn't think she was going to- 550 00:25:49,112 --> 00:25:49,983 I didn't think that. 551 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,990 Like I've been walking. 552 00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:01,298 And the last couple of weeks, I was in- 553 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:06,652 like massive depressions- 554 00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:08,741 I mean, to the point where I couldn't function- 555 00:26:08,871 --> 00:26:10,612 without bursting into tears all the time- 556 00:26:10,743 --> 00:26:12,788 which is just- 557 00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:19,273 not easy, because you can't function. 558 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:21,884 You can't go through your life- 559 00:26:22,015 --> 00:26:26,585 because you just can't control it. 560 00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:37,421 I want to know her life though. 561 00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:41,600 Van: And then, what are you hoping to get? 562 00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:43,776 I did, like, know- 563 00:26:43,906 --> 00:26:45,255 because I thought I'd be going to see- 564 00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:46,256 and I will, you know- 565 00:26:46,387 --> 00:26:47,649 I thought I'd be going to see people- 566 00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:49,042 and talking to them about their story- 567 00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:50,260 understanding Newfoundland- 568 00:26:50,391 --> 00:26:52,393 like- 569 00:26:52,523 --> 00:26:53,699 you know- 570 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:57,485 trying to understand kind of like- 571 00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,269 what my origin story was- 572 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,662 who these people were- 573 00:27:00,793 --> 00:27:01,489 what they lived- 574 00:27:03,491 --> 00:27:04,448 what I might have lived- 575 00:27:04,579 --> 00:27:05,841 had I been there, you know? 576 00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:07,364 But that's- 577 00:27:07,495 --> 00:27:09,192 it's turning into something else, right? 578 00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:11,194 I think there's something- 579 00:27:11,325 --> 00:27:16,286 always really, really, really necessary- 580 00:27:16,417 --> 00:27:19,507 about finding out the truth- 581 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,770 no matter what the truth is. 582 00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:22,945 Van: Oh yeah? 583 00:27:24,164 --> 00:27:25,034 Adrian: You don't think so? 584 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:27,820 Van: No. 585 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:30,910 [wings flapping] 586 00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:37,046 [crashing waves] 587 00:27:50,451 --> 00:27:52,279 Do you think you should always look for the truth? 588 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,934 [Michael exhales] 589 00:27:56,326 --> 00:27:57,850 [Michael chuckles] 590 00:27:57,980 --> 00:27:59,460 Boy, I don't know. 591 00:28:00,156 --> 00:28:01,680 Yes, I do. 592 00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:03,638 But uh- 593 00:28:05,422 --> 00:28:06,685 I think it- 594 00:28:06,815 --> 00:28:09,992 I think the truth can fuck you up as well, you know? 595 00:28:10,123 --> 00:28:13,256 Like- you know, when people say- 596 00:28:13,387 --> 00:28:15,302 You know, you're better off not knowing that. 597 00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:17,913 That's entirely possible. 598 00:28:18,044 --> 00:28:18,871 [Michael laughs] 599 00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:19,959 Right? 600 00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:21,134 It's entirely possible- 601 00:28:21,264 --> 00:28:22,570 that knowing something you didn't know- 602 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:26,400 uh, is not going to be helpful at all- 603 00:28:26,530 --> 00:28:28,707 and in fact, may be more painful than not. 604 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,014 But I also- 605 00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:35,583 I don't think there's any sense to living in a dream world- 606 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,019 that if you're not interested in the truth- 607 00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:38,891 then you're not interested in living, really. 608 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:42,982 You're interested in having a little bubble- 609 00:28:43,112 --> 00:28:44,200 where everything's okay. 610 00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:50,641 Wanda: Hi Adrian. 611 00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,165 I got this message- 612 00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:53,862 from this fantastic woman. 613 00:28:53,993 --> 00:28:55,342 And I'll read you what she wrote. 614 00:28:55,472 --> 00:28:56,386 I read your Facebook post- 615 00:28:56,517 --> 00:28:58,911 and recognized the name Mary Cousins. 616 00:28:59,041 --> 00:29:00,739 My mom- 617 00:29:00,869 --> 00:29:02,915 was a loving foster parent for many years. 618 00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:04,394 And I believe that Adrian may have been- 619 00:29:04,525 --> 00:29:06,179 part of our family- 620 00:29:06,309 --> 00:29:08,572 for the first four months of his life, until he was adopted. 621 00:29:08,703 --> 00:29:12,185 ♪♪♪♪ [upbeat music] 622 00:29:21,237 --> 00:29:22,804 Lorraine: I said, Oh I know that baby. 623 00:29:22,935 --> 00:29:23,892 So then I look up- 624 00:29:24,023 --> 00:29:25,241 yes, I've got his bracelet. 625 00:29:25,372 --> 00:29:26,155 [Lorraine laughs] 626 00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:27,156 Adrian: Wow. 627 00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:29,071 You knew my name just like- 628 00:29:29,202 --> 00:29:29,985 Yes. 629 00:29:30,116 --> 00:29:31,247 Like you remembered my name? 630 00:29:31,378 --> 00:29:32,335 Oh yes! 631 00:29:33,162 --> 00:29:34,685 I don't forget. 632 00:29:40,648 --> 00:29:41,431 We'll see if we can find- 633 00:29:41,562 --> 00:29:42,432 Ohh. 634 00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:43,433 '71. 635 00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:45,000 Wayne Cousins. 636 00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:45,827 That's me. 637 00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:46,785 That's you. 638 00:29:47,524 --> 00:29:49,875 1973. 639 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,702 And you went on May the 4th. 640 00:29:54,444 --> 00:29:55,663 How crazy is that? 641 00:29:56,707 --> 00:29:57,317 That's pretty crazy isn't it? 642 00:29:57,447 --> 00:29:58,187 [Adrian laughs] 643 00:29:59,145 --> 00:30:00,624 Four months. 644 00:30:00,755 --> 00:30:01,669 The whole thing's crazy. 645 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,845 All dressed up in your little outfit. 646 00:30:03,976 --> 00:30:05,847 Your mom probably got pictures of that. 647 00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:06,717 Yeah, she does. 648 00:30:07,893 --> 00:30:08,632 Seventeen years. 649 00:30:08,763 --> 00:30:11,897 This is Mom in '67, with two. 650 00:30:12,027 --> 00:30:12,767 That's your mom? 651 00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:14,638 That's not a good picture. 652 00:30:15,378 --> 00:30:18,904 She was a wonderful, wonderful person. 653 00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,167 She was very caring. 654 00:30:22,429 --> 00:30:23,734 - And you were how old when this started? 655 00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:25,649 - I was like maybe 12- 656 00:30:25,780 --> 00:30:28,304 when we had the babies first. 657 00:30:28,435 --> 00:30:31,264 And then all through my teen years. 658 00:30:31,394 --> 00:30:32,439 That's John, I think. 659 00:30:32,569 --> 00:30:33,353 He was so sweet. 660 00:30:33,483 --> 00:30:34,223 I could cuddle him now. 661 00:30:34,354 --> 00:30:35,050 Look at that. 662 00:30:35,181 --> 00:30:36,095 That was so sweet. 663 00:30:36,225 --> 00:30:38,140 [they laugh] 664 00:30:38,271 --> 00:30:38,967 - And did you- 665 00:30:39,098 --> 00:30:40,142 you knew- 666 00:30:40,273 --> 00:30:41,927 did you know my birth mother? 667 00:30:42,057 --> 00:30:43,667 Did you know Mary Margaret Cousins? 668 00:30:43,798 --> 00:30:45,452 And did you know Ellen Cousins? 669 00:30:45,582 --> 00:30:46,366 Did you know the Cousins? 670 00:30:46,496 --> 00:30:48,237 I knew of the Cousins. 671 00:30:48,368 --> 00:30:49,064 I knew the- 672 00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:50,283 I knew the family- 673 00:30:50,413 --> 00:30:52,024 you know? 674 00:30:52,154 --> 00:30:54,113 - So I kind of wonder- 675 00:30:54,243 --> 00:30:56,593 whether my mother would have known- 676 00:30:56,724 --> 00:31:00,162 like my birth mother would have known that I was in this house. 677 00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:01,163 No. 678 00:31:01,294 --> 00:31:02,077 No. 679 00:31:02,208 --> 00:31:02,904 No. 680 00:31:03,035 --> 00:31:03,774 Very unlikely. 681 00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:06,690 Uh- 682 00:31:06,821 --> 00:31:08,518 very confidential. 683 00:31:08,649 --> 00:31:12,566 - And then what would happen when they came to pick up the baby? 684 00:31:12,696 --> 00:31:16,962 - It was quite an emotional time for us. 685 00:31:17,092 --> 00:31:18,615 And of course, Mom- 686 00:31:18,746 --> 00:31:22,793 hoping and praying that you were going to get a good home. 687 00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:24,230 That was always, always- 688 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,972 so important, you know, to her- 689 00:31:27,102 --> 00:31:29,017 and to all of us. 690 00:31:29,148 --> 00:31:32,064 - It's super hard to imagine- 691 00:31:32,194 --> 00:31:35,197 that you kind of brought me up for four months. 692 00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:36,329 I know! 693 00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:37,112 You heard my heartbeat- 694 00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:38,897 lots of times. 695 00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:40,724 That's what Mom would- 696 00:31:40,855 --> 00:31:41,638 we've got to take them- 697 00:31:41,769 --> 00:31:42,683 you know, hold them. 698 00:31:42,813 --> 00:31:43,640 That's all they- 699 00:31:43,771 --> 00:31:44,903 that's all babies need. 700 00:31:45,033 --> 00:31:45,860 That's all they want. 701 00:31:45,991 --> 00:31:46,905 They want to be fed. 702 00:31:47,035 --> 00:31:49,168 They want to be kept clean. 703 00:31:49,298 --> 00:31:50,212 They want to be loved. 704 00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:52,127 They want to hear a heartbeat. 705 00:31:55,217 --> 00:31:58,133 [lapping water] 706 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:11,625 [dog barking in distance] 707 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,498 Nina: I was not told you were in a foster home at all. 708 00:32:15,629 --> 00:32:17,500 No I met the woman. 709 00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:18,632 She has the records. 710 00:32:18,762 --> 00:32:19,459 And look, Mom. 711 00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:21,635 She has my baby bracelet. 712 00:32:21,765 --> 00:32:22,636 - Look. - Yeah? 713 00:32:22,766 --> 00:32:24,333 My baby bracelet. 714 00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:26,553 Can you see? 715 00:32:26,683 --> 00:32:28,207 Oh my God. 716 00:32:28,337 --> 00:32:29,338 That's just so lovely. 717 00:32:29,469 --> 00:32:30,818 [Nina crying] 718 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:36,084 - I think she had over 200 or 300 babies, from 19- 719 00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:37,477 like late 1960s- 720 00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:39,870 until early 1980s- 721 00:32:40,001 --> 00:32:41,568 they kept foster children. 722 00:32:41,698 --> 00:32:43,004 Unbelievable. 723 00:32:43,135 --> 00:32:44,745 I was told that you were in a hospital- 724 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:45,789 because you had a hernia. 725 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:46,703 And then- 726 00:32:46,834 --> 00:32:48,749 you went straight to me. 727 00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:50,664 Yeah, they didn't tell you the truth. 728 00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:52,666 I don't know why. 729 00:32:53,710 --> 00:32:54,624 Why are you doing this for anyway? 730 00:32:54,755 --> 00:32:55,669 Why? 731 00:32:57,627 --> 00:33:02,719 I wanted to spend time finding things out. 732 00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:03,633 Yeah, that's normal. 733 00:33:03,764 --> 00:33:05,505 And now- 734 00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:07,463 when I've found out that she passed away- 735 00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:09,161 or that she killed herself- 736 00:33:09,291 --> 00:33:10,727 I- 737 00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:13,339 now I want to honour her. 738 00:33:13,469 --> 00:33:14,296 Of course. 739 00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:15,994 And you should honour her. 740 00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:16,951 I mean, she was your maternal- 741 00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:17,865 your mom. 742 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:18,822 Yeah. 743 00:33:18,953 --> 00:33:20,041 But she- 744 00:33:20,172 --> 00:33:21,303 but you're much stronger than she was. 745 00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:22,565 And uh- 746 00:33:22,696 --> 00:33:23,871 whatever happened to her life- 747 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,091 you don't know what she went through. 748 00:33:28,919 --> 00:33:31,139 [ship engine] 749 00:33:34,751 --> 00:33:40,018 ♪♪♪♪ [melancholy piano] 750 00:33:44,239 --> 00:33:47,242 Ellen: We were raised devout Catholics, yeah. 751 00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:48,852 Adrian: Right. 752 00:33:48,983 --> 00:33:52,856 - They really believed in being educated by the nuns and- 753 00:33:52,987 --> 00:33:53,901 yeah- 754 00:33:56,121 --> 00:34:00,777 And you know, my sister Joan, and then I went to the sisters. 755 00:34:00,908 --> 00:34:02,083 And then Dad got sick. 756 00:34:02,214 --> 00:34:04,955 And the resources weren't there. 757 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:07,132 I feel that she felt- 758 00:34:07,262 --> 00:34:10,222 that she didn't have the same opportunity. 759 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,224 You know? 760 00:34:13,225 --> 00:34:14,922 But I do believe- 761 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:21,537 she was sincere in wanting her child to have a chance at life- 762 00:34:22,277 --> 00:34:25,063 because maybe- I don't know. 763 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:28,109 Maybe she felt she didn't have a chance, you know- 764 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:31,591 the way things unfolded in the family. 765 00:34:36,726 --> 00:34:38,641 [waves crashing] 766 00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:42,558 [lapping water] 767 00:34:45,039 --> 00:34:47,737 Walter: You were thrown into a place- 768 00:34:47,868 --> 00:34:52,002 that most kids were not thrown into. 769 00:34:52,133 --> 00:34:53,395 Adrian: What was I like- 770 00:34:53,526 --> 00:34:54,353 as a kid? 771 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:55,441 Do you remember me? 772 00:34:56,224 --> 00:34:56,920 - Uh- 773 00:34:57,051 --> 00:34:59,749 you were- 774 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:00,837 curious. 775 00:35:00,968 --> 00:35:02,535 Very, very curious. 776 00:35:02,665 --> 00:35:04,580 Very, uh- 777 00:35:04,711 --> 00:35:08,410 not reticent to explore. 778 00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:11,544 I met you- 779 00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:17,463 when your adopted mother and father did just that. 780 00:35:17,593 --> 00:35:22,598 They adopted you and were living in Montreal. 781 00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:25,471 I was the best man to their wedding. 782 00:35:25,601 --> 00:35:29,083 So I knew what they were going through- 783 00:35:29,214 --> 00:35:29,997 after marriage. 784 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,607 They wanted kids. 785 00:35:31,738 --> 00:35:32,956 They couldn't have kids. 786 00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:35,089 Hence, the adoption. 787 00:35:35,220 --> 00:35:38,875 Keith tried to work in Montreal. 788 00:35:39,006 --> 00:35:42,096 I think he tried to be an industrial designer. 789 00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:44,490 And he had an office in the house. 790 00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:45,795 And he was there all the time. 791 00:35:45,926 --> 00:35:48,058 I sensed- 792 00:35:48,189 --> 00:35:50,539 while still in college- 793 00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,411 that he was gay. 794 00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:54,108 And yet he was married. 795 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:55,240 Mm-hmm. 796 00:35:55,370 --> 00:35:56,545 By this time- 797 00:35:56,676 --> 00:36:02,421 Nina was very, very interested in the work she did- 798 00:36:02,551 --> 00:36:05,511 and being successful, designing clothes. 799 00:36:05,641 --> 00:36:10,124 And she became so involved with that. 800 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:12,605 She was at work all the time. 801 00:36:13,954 --> 00:36:16,478 And for him, that was fine. 802 00:36:16,609 --> 00:36:22,702 I would come up to Montreal when I went to do lab work- 803 00:36:22,832 --> 00:36:23,616 film lab work. 804 00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:27,141 And they were very gracious- 805 00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:29,099 to let me stay overnight at their house- 806 00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:30,753 every once in a while. 807 00:36:30,884 --> 00:36:34,235 - Do you realize you gave me my first camera? 808 00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:35,193 Did I really? 809 00:36:35,323 --> 00:36:36,629 Yeah. 810 00:36:36,759 --> 00:36:37,760 Do you remember that? 811 00:36:37,891 --> 00:36:39,197 It was kind of like a point and shoot. 812 00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:40,067 - Right? - Oh, okay. 813 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,939 - But it was kind of a first time- 814 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:47,683 that I started looking sort of through a lens. 815 00:36:51,165 --> 00:36:53,515 Van: Where are we going Adrian? 816 00:36:53,646 --> 00:36:59,565 We're going to see Shawn Burry, who was the- 817 00:37:01,175 --> 00:37:02,524 I think- 818 00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:05,571 I think Mary Margaret took him in in Greenspond. 819 00:37:05,701 --> 00:37:08,748 I'm hoping that he can tell me more about Mary Margaret- 820 00:37:08,878 --> 00:37:10,837 and what she was like- 821 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:14,275 and I guess fundamentally, what she was like as a mother- 822 00:37:14,406 --> 00:37:16,016 you know? 823 00:37:18,148 --> 00:37:19,367 Shawn: You finally found it? 824 00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:24,111 You've got your mother's frame! 825 00:37:24,590 --> 00:37:25,460 You look- 826 00:37:25,591 --> 00:37:26,374 you've got your mother's shape. 827 00:37:26,505 --> 00:37:28,724 Your mother was a smaller woman- 828 00:37:28,855 --> 00:37:30,900 tall but- 829 00:37:31,031 --> 00:37:31,771 Oh yeah? 830 00:37:31,901 --> 00:37:33,033 Yeah. 831 00:37:33,163 --> 00:37:35,078 And I can sort of see you look like her- 832 00:37:35,209 --> 00:37:35,992 some. 833 00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:39,169 So this is okay out here? 834 00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,693 Or you rather have been in the house or what? 835 00:37:40,823 --> 00:37:42,042 No this is great. 836 00:37:43,348 --> 00:37:45,219 What was my mother like? 837 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:46,481 What was Mary like? 838 00:37:47,743 --> 00:37:48,527 Um- 839 00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:53,227 I wouldn't say shy. 840 00:37:53,358 --> 00:37:57,187 But she more or less kept to herself. 841 00:37:57,318 --> 00:37:59,451 My fondest memories- 842 00:37:59,581 --> 00:38:01,017 I guess the most that I would remember- 843 00:38:01,148 --> 00:38:03,193 is just listening to her. 844 00:38:03,324 --> 00:38:05,805 But there was a little- maybe Kelligrews accent? 845 00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:07,328 I don't know. 846 00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:09,678 And so, Mary- 847 00:38:09,809 --> 00:38:12,246 how long did you live with Mary and Ernie? 848 00:38:12,377 --> 00:38:13,203 - About nine- 849 00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:13,987 nine or ten months. 850 00:38:15,336 --> 00:38:16,990 I was in grade eight. 851 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:17,947 I had no money. 852 00:38:18,078 --> 00:38:19,688 I had nowhere to live. 853 00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:20,776 Mary took me in. 854 00:38:20,907 --> 00:38:22,648 She did what she could for me. 855 00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:23,518 I didn't go hungry. 856 00:38:23,649 --> 00:38:24,954 I didn't wear dirty clothes. 857 00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:27,000 I thought it was wonderful. 858 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:27,870 Yeah, it's- 859 00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,568 like when I heard about you- 860 00:38:29,698 --> 00:38:32,571 I couldn't help but think it feels like she's trying- 861 00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:34,573 like she didn't have her own kids. 862 00:38:34,703 --> 00:38:35,748 I couldn't figure that out. 863 00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:39,317 She would be crazy to have a child with Ernie. 864 00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:40,274 Huh. 865 00:38:40,405 --> 00:38:41,188 She would have been. 866 00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,103 Mmm. 867 00:38:43,233 --> 00:38:45,932 - Because back when Ernie and Mary got together, you know- 868 00:38:46,062 --> 00:38:48,021 Ernie was a bit of a- 869 00:38:48,151 --> 00:38:50,502 a rough character. 870 00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:52,155 I know like when I was growing up- 871 00:38:52,286 --> 00:38:53,722 I can remember lots of times- 872 00:38:53,853 --> 00:38:55,333 someone would say- 873 00:38:55,463 --> 00:38:56,943 Oh, Ernie is coming up the road. 874 00:38:57,073 --> 00:38:59,206 Turn off the lights- 875 00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,469 because you didn't want him coming in- 876 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,385 because nine chances out of ten, he was probably drinking. 877 00:39:04,516 --> 00:39:07,083 [seagulls crying] 878 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:11,174 If I could run into her tomorrow- 879 00:39:11,305 --> 00:39:12,132 I would certainly say- 880 00:39:12,262 --> 00:39:13,960 Mary- 881 00:39:14,090 --> 00:39:16,005 whatever in the name of God possessed you- 882 00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:18,225 to come on a ferry- 883 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:19,269 to an island- 884 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,489 where you knew no one- 885 00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:24,144 and move in with a drunk? 886 00:39:24,274 --> 00:39:28,540 [children playing in distance] 887 00:39:31,194 --> 00:39:34,023 She was like scared all the time, or nervous- 888 00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:36,722 or watch what she said- 889 00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:39,855 watch where she went- 890 00:39:39,986 --> 00:39:43,685 trying not to upset Ernie. 891 00:39:43,816 --> 00:39:44,773 She didn't have a lot of friends. 892 00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:49,822 Like if he came home drinking- 893 00:39:49,952 --> 00:39:52,302 and drove her out 2:00 in the morning- 894 00:39:52,433 --> 00:39:53,260 where's she going? 895 00:39:58,657 --> 00:39:59,832 Roland: When he was sober- 896 00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:03,270 he could well support himself and his family. 897 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,967 How should I put this? 898 00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:09,450 When Ernest was good, and Mary, they were good. 899 00:40:09,581 --> 00:40:12,932 When they were bad- 900 00:40:13,062 --> 00:40:14,847 they were drunk. 901 00:40:17,284 --> 00:40:18,285 I'm sorry I had to say that. 902 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:19,329 But- 903 00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:21,810 Was Mary drunk as well? 904 00:40:22,724 --> 00:40:23,638 Yes. 905 00:40:23,769 --> 00:40:24,422 Sometimes. 906 00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:25,771 But not- 907 00:40:25,901 --> 00:40:29,078 not to the extent that Ernest used to be drunk. 908 00:40:29,209 --> 00:40:31,298 They'd do anything for anyone. 909 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:35,607 Anything they could do to help anyone, they would do. 910 00:40:39,001 --> 00:40:40,742 Norm: When Ernie was sober- 911 00:40:40,873 --> 00:40:43,310 he was a different man altogether. 912 00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:44,659 And he tried- 913 00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:45,747 a number of times- 914 00:40:45,878 --> 00:40:46,792 to quit. 915 00:40:46,922 --> 00:40:48,271 Cavell: You see a man that's- 916 00:40:48,402 --> 00:40:49,925 pretty much drunk every day. 917 00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:51,057 Mmm. 918 00:40:51,187 --> 00:40:52,058 Cavell: Mary came along. 919 00:40:52,188 --> 00:40:53,755 And for whatever reason- 920 00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:56,323 it seemed to make a difference. 921 00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,237 Settled him down. 922 00:40:57,367 --> 00:40:58,194 And they joined the church. 923 00:40:58,325 --> 00:41:00,153 And from there, you know- 924 00:41:00,283 --> 00:41:04,940 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 925 00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:12,339 That's where they lived. 926 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:15,037 The house was- 927 00:41:15,168 --> 00:41:17,562 I can visualize the house now just exactly the way it was. 928 00:41:17,692 --> 00:41:21,130 - Yeah you remember the photos I showed you? 929 00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:24,438 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 930 00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,362 And you say that Ernie would like- 931 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,407 go out to the lighthouse? 932 00:41:37,538 --> 00:41:42,151 - And on good days, when water wasn't too rough- 933 00:41:42,282 --> 00:41:44,980 he would come in and pick Mary up- 934 00:41:45,111 --> 00:41:50,420 and take her out for a few days. 935 00:42:18,144 --> 00:42:19,580 [birds calling] 936 00:42:19,711 --> 00:42:22,191 [wind blowing] 937 00:42:38,251 --> 00:42:40,862 I wonder if Mary was proud that she was with Ernie- 938 00:42:40,993 --> 00:42:42,472 because he was a lighthouse keeper? 939 00:42:42,603 --> 00:42:45,171 - Oh there's no doubt- 940 00:42:45,301 --> 00:42:46,694 working with the government. 941 00:42:46,825 --> 00:42:49,915 And then I guess it was a little bit higher- 942 00:42:50,045 --> 00:42:53,266 higher up on the status ladder- 943 00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:54,180 It was, hey? 944 00:42:54,310 --> 00:42:54,876 type of thing, yeah. 945 00:42:55,007 --> 00:42:56,051 Sure. 946 00:42:57,879 --> 00:43:00,926 In the spring, you'd get the drift ice coming up- 947 00:43:01,056 --> 00:43:02,275 the northern floes. 948 00:43:02,405 --> 00:43:04,451 Everything would be blocked in. 949 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:07,715 So how would they get back to Greenspond in the winter? 950 00:43:07,846 --> 00:43:11,719 Uh, they'd just have to stay here- 951 00:43:11,850 --> 00:43:14,504 have enough supplies. 952 00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:15,375 - Yeah I was amazed- 953 00:43:15,505 --> 00:43:17,464 when I first heard that she- 954 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:18,508 was with the lighthouse keeper- 955 00:43:18,639 --> 00:43:19,814 I thought it was- 956 00:43:19,945 --> 00:43:20,946 - it was, you know- - Yeah. 957 00:43:21,076 --> 00:43:23,078 I knew nothing about lighthouse keepers right? 958 00:43:23,209 --> 00:43:24,297 It felt like a story or something. 959 00:43:25,385 --> 00:43:27,082 - You can't say that anymore. 960 00:43:27,213 --> 00:43:29,171 [Adrian chuckles] 961 00:43:29,302 --> 00:43:30,172 No. 962 00:43:31,783 --> 00:43:33,306 [fog horn wailing] 963 00:43:43,969 --> 00:43:48,538 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 964 00:43:56,111 --> 00:43:57,678 Adrian: So my Aunt- 965 00:43:57,809 --> 00:44:01,726 Ellen wrote out the Cousins family narrative. 966 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,771 This says- 967 00:44:03,902 --> 00:44:08,471 Josephine Veronica Dwyer was born June 27th, 1913- 968 00:44:08,602 --> 00:44:11,126 to Johannah Bryan and Edward Dwyer- 969 00:44:11,257 --> 00:44:13,520 of Bell Island, Newfoundland. 970 00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:16,479 She first laid eyes on Jack Cousins- 971 00:44:16,610 --> 00:44:20,614 all 6'7" of him, in the church. 972 00:44:20,745 --> 00:44:21,659 It's crazy, man. 973 00:44:21,789 --> 00:44:23,965 Like she wrote this like a story. 974 00:44:24,096 --> 00:44:24,966 Van: She wrote this for you? 975 00:44:25,097 --> 00:44:26,664 She wrote this for me. 976 00:44:30,189 --> 00:44:31,016 Family members- 977 00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:32,974 staying up were having a mug up- 978 00:44:33,105 --> 00:44:35,237 when there was a loud knock on the front door. 979 00:44:35,368 --> 00:44:36,456 My father opened the door. 980 00:44:36,586 --> 00:44:37,892 But no one was there. 981 00:44:38,023 --> 00:44:40,112 He came back to the kitchen and said- 982 00:44:40,242 --> 00:44:41,243 Adrian and Michael: That's strange. 983 00:44:41,374 --> 00:44:43,811 Michael: No sign in the new fallen snow- 984 00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:46,945 of anyone there on the step. 985 00:44:47,075 --> 00:44:49,295 Shortly after, there was a third knock. 986 00:44:49,425 --> 00:44:50,383 Mom shouted from upstairs- 987 00:44:50,513 --> 00:44:51,297 No Jack. 988 00:44:51,427 --> 00:44:52,385 Don't go out. 989 00:44:52,515 --> 00:44:54,517 That's a token. 990 00:44:54,648 --> 00:44:56,432 Pop was close to dying. 991 00:44:56,563 --> 00:44:59,131 And my grandmother, deceased five years earlier- 992 00:44:59,261 --> 00:45:01,611 was giving a sign with the three knocks. 993 00:45:03,091 --> 00:45:05,311 My grandfather died later that day, before noon. 994 00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:07,530 - That's- 995 00:45:07,661 --> 00:45:09,445 That's a fantastic story. 996 00:45:09,576 --> 00:45:11,491 And there are all kinds of stories in Newfoundland- 997 00:45:11,621 --> 00:45:14,668 about tokens or signs or the fetch- 998 00:45:14,799 --> 00:45:15,582 which is the- 999 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:16,670 like the- 1000 00:45:16,801 --> 00:45:18,454 a vision of somebody- 1001 00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:19,629 who's come to- 1002 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:20,848 They don't say anything. 1003 00:45:20,979 --> 00:45:22,067 But the vision basically means- 1004 00:45:22,197 --> 00:45:24,025 that they're dead. 1005 00:45:24,156 --> 00:45:25,244 And especially around the war- 1006 00:45:26,549 --> 00:45:28,334 there are all kinds of fetches showing up. 1007 00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:35,080 I mean I think that history here, right- 1008 00:45:35,210 --> 00:45:37,735 like history is not the story of great men- 1009 00:45:37,865 --> 00:45:39,824 who sort of came and tamed the wilderness and- 1010 00:45:39,954 --> 00:45:43,915 History is about where your grandfather fished- 1011 00:45:44,045 --> 00:45:45,003 and the garden that your grandmother kept- 1012 00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:49,485 and you know, where your people belong. 1013 00:46:03,064 --> 00:46:04,674 Adrian: And she just kind of severed contact- 1014 00:46:04,805 --> 00:46:06,111 after the pregnancy? 1015 00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:07,503 Is that kind of what happened? 1016 00:46:07,634 --> 00:46:11,246 Ellen: Yeah, she just went and lived her own life. 1017 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,251 Adrian: What's her birthday? 1018 00:46:16,382 --> 00:46:17,775 Ellen: November 28th. 1019 00:46:20,690 --> 00:46:22,388 So she was 43. 1020 00:46:28,568 --> 00:46:32,267 Adrian: Ernest was like 32 years older than her. 1021 00:46:32,398 --> 00:46:34,226 And it says, Ever remembered. 1022 00:46:34,356 --> 00:46:36,837 Ever loved. 1023 00:46:36,968 --> 00:46:40,406 Erected by wife Mary and friend Maggie. 1024 00:46:44,584 --> 00:46:45,846 And it says, Mary Margaret- 1025 00:46:45,977 --> 00:46:47,456 or Mary M. 1026 00:46:47,587 --> 00:46:48,936 1951. 1027 00:46:50,982 --> 00:46:54,159 And then it doesn't actually have her- 1028 00:46:54,289 --> 00:46:55,247 her death date. 1029 00:46:56,901 --> 00:46:59,381 They don't even etch in that she died. 1030 00:47:09,478 --> 00:47:11,350 You come out to this lookout a lot? 1031 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:12,917 No, not much. 1032 00:47:15,006 --> 00:47:17,747 I went up to the cemetery. 1033 00:47:17,878 --> 00:47:21,577 Then I went to Mary and Ernest's grave. 1034 00:47:21,708 --> 00:47:24,972 And it has Mary's date, right? 1035 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,062 But it doesn't have the death date. 1036 00:47:28,193 --> 00:47:28,976 No. 1037 00:47:29,324 --> 00:47:30,325 Why? 1038 00:47:31,587 --> 00:47:33,938 Maybe the headstone was never paid for. 1039 00:47:34,068 --> 00:47:36,810 I guess she just didn't have the money to do it. 1040 00:47:40,509 --> 00:47:41,859 - Do you think Mary had a good life? 1041 00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:44,687 No. 1042 00:47:44,818 --> 00:47:45,340 I don't think so. 1043 00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:53,435 ♪♪♪♪ [sombre music] 1044 00:47:57,744 --> 00:48:00,007 Adrian: Who was Maggie? 1045 00:48:00,138 --> 00:48:00,747 Shawn: Maggie was a girl- 1046 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,315 that stayed there. 1047 00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:05,143 It was Maggie Burton. 1048 00:48:05,273 --> 00:48:06,361 She was younger than me. 1049 00:48:06,492 --> 00:48:09,277 But it was one of my friends going to school. 1050 00:48:09,408 --> 00:48:11,758 She came in with Ern and Mary- 1051 00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:15,980 right at the time I was leaving. 1052 00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:17,155 Cavell: Well Maggie- 1053 00:48:18,243 --> 00:48:18,808 poor thing- 1054 00:48:18,939 --> 00:48:20,027 - was a- - had a hard life. 1055 00:48:20,158 --> 00:48:21,376 had a hard life. 1056 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:23,552 She wasn't brought up in a good home environment. 1057 00:48:23,683 --> 00:48:26,512 Like there was abuse? 1058 00:48:26,642 --> 00:48:28,514 Yeah, the family were not good to her. 1059 00:48:28,644 --> 00:48:29,384 Adrian: Okay. 1060 00:48:29,515 --> 00:48:31,473 And then Mary took her in? 1061 00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:32,866 Cavell: Yeah. 1062 00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:33,780 Norm: Yeah. 1063 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:37,305 ♪♪♪♪ [upbeat piano] 1064 00:48:39,220 --> 00:48:40,656 Shawn: When Ernie became Salvation Army- 1065 00:48:42,310 --> 00:48:44,182 and stayed Salvation Army- 1066 00:48:44,312 --> 00:48:45,487 they had a car. 1067 00:48:45,618 --> 00:48:47,881 And they'd be driving back and forth to The Army. 1068 00:48:48,012 --> 00:48:50,536 And Mary in the passenger seat- 1069 00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:51,972 Maggie in the back seat. 1070 00:48:52,103 --> 00:48:54,627 But I'd say the last 10 years- 1071 00:48:54,757 --> 00:48:57,891 that it was probably wonderful for her. 1072 00:48:58,022 --> 00:49:03,418 ♪♪♪♪ [uplifting music building] 1073 00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,482 Major Kean: I remember Mary and her husband- 1074 00:49:23,612 --> 00:49:24,657 very well. 1075 00:49:24,787 --> 00:49:25,484 Very well. 1076 00:49:25,614 --> 00:49:26,615 Very nice lady. 1077 00:49:26,746 --> 00:49:27,529 Friendly. 1078 00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:28,922 Very friendly lady. 1079 00:49:29,053 --> 00:49:31,490 She used to pray right soft. 1080 00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:32,708 And it was nice. 1081 00:49:32,839 --> 00:49:33,927 What was she? 1082 00:49:34,058 --> 00:49:34,884 An officer? 1083 00:49:35,015 --> 00:49:36,060 No no no, she wasn't. 1084 00:49:36,190 --> 00:49:37,322 She was a soldier. 1085 00:49:37,452 --> 00:49:38,410 Yeah. 1086 00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:39,411 And looked good in her uniform- 1087 00:49:39,541 --> 00:49:40,890 boy, I'll tell you- 1088 00:49:41,021 --> 00:49:42,762 dressed up to the T. 1089 00:49:42,892 --> 00:49:45,808 And when you become a soldier, you- 1090 00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:49,290 you look into the rules and regulations of being a soldier- 1091 00:49:49,421 --> 00:49:50,248 you know- 1092 00:49:50,378 --> 00:49:51,553 testifying for the Lord- 1093 00:49:51,684 --> 00:49:53,077 living for the Lord. 1094 00:49:53,207 --> 00:49:55,905 And I guess, Mary and Ernie wanted somewhere to go- 1095 00:49:56,036 --> 00:49:56,863 that they could feel love. 1096 00:49:56,994 --> 00:50:00,084 And people cared for them. 1097 00:50:00,214 --> 00:50:01,520 So they came to The Army. 1098 00:50:01,650 --> 00:50:04,349 And they became a very, very important part of it. 1099 00:50:04,479 --> 00:50:06,873 And when they came, they were embraced, you know? 1100 00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:07,743 They were loved! 1101 00:50:07,874 --> 00:50:09,267 They were cared for! 1102 00:50:09,397 --> 00:50:10,703 They were talked about- 1103 00:50:10,833 --> 00:50:12,444 because of their goodness and their love. 1104 00:50:12,574 --> 00:50:13,227 And that's why they- 1105 00:50:13,358 --> 00:50:14,707 we shared so much. 1106 00:50:14,837 --> 00:50:16,274 And it was great just to know them. 1107 00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:17,492 Great to know them. 1108 00:50:17,623 --> 00:50:19,973 But I didn't know about you. 1109 00:50:20,104 --> 00:50:22,454 Like I never met Mary right? 1110 00:50:22,584 --> 00:50:23,672 I know you didn't. 1111 00:50:24,369 --> 00:50:25,370 I never met her. 1112 00:50:26,153 --> 00:50:27,459 But you would've loved to, would you? 1113 00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,114 She was a sweet person. 1114 00:50:30,723 --> 00:50:32,507 Very sweet person. 1115 00:50:32,638 --> 00:50:34,727 Yeah, very sweet person. 1116 00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:35,989 Yeah, yeah. 1117 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,251 Yeah, I know. 1118 00:50:37,382 --> 00:50:38,035 I appreciate it. 1119 00:50:38,165 --> 00:50:38,731 Yeah. 1120 00:50:40,515 --> 00:50:41,603 Are you still hurt about it? 1121 00:50:41,734 --> 00:50:42,735 What's that? 1122 00:50:42,865 --> 00:50:44,128 Are you still hurt within your own heart- 1123 00:50:44,258 --> 00:50:46,086 because of the adoption? 1124 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:51,048 [Adrian sighs] 1125 00:50:51,178 --> 00:50:53,137 Or is that too big? 1126 00:50:53,267 --> 00:50:55,791 You'd like to have been different? 1127 00:50:57,967 --> 00:51:00,274 I'd like to have met her, you know? 1128 00:51:00,405 --> 00:51:01,319 I know you would, yeah. 1129 00:51:01,667 --> 00:51:02,711 I'd like to have met her and- 1130 00:51:04,713 --> 00:51:07,673 It would have been all different then. 1131 00:51:07,803 --> 00:51:09,544 I'd like to have hugged her, you know? 1132 00:51:09,675 --> 00:51:10,415 Yeah. 1133 00:51:11,111 --> 00:51:11,938 Yeah. 1134 00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:15,811 Lord, we come into your presence- 1135 00:51:15,942 --> 00:51:17,552 in the name of Jesus. 1136 00:51:17,683 --> 00:51:19,859 Especially for Adrian, Lord. 1137 00:51:19,989 --> 00:51:22,731 So many things that he's getting into- 1138 00:51:22,862 --> 00:51:24,603 and wants answers to. 1139 00:51:24,733 --> 00:51:27,214 Lord, I pray in a very special way- 1140 00:51:27,345 --> 00:51:29,347 he'll learn to trust you- 1141 00:51:29,477 --> 00:51:30,739 leave it at your feet. 1142 00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:32,741 And when the time is right, you will answer him. 1143 00:51:32,872 --> 00:51:35,222 Thank you for your mercy. 1144 00:51:35,353 --> 00:51:38,443 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 1145 00:51:40,706 --> 00:51:43,361 Adrian: That year, her husband died. 1146 00:51:43,491 --> 00:51:47,669 Her mother Josephine died at Easter time. 1147 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,673 Another blow was the loss of her dear friend Maggie. 1148 00:51:51,804 --> 00:51:57,462 Ellen: When Mary was in St. John's at Mom's wake- 1149 00:51:57,592 --> 00:52:01,857 Maggie had a seizure and died. 1150 00:52:01,988 --> 00:52:02,989 So that- 1151 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,426 so she felt that if she had been there- 1152 00:52:05,557 --> 00:52:07,385 she would have known what to do. 1153 00:52:07,515 --> 00:52:09,343 And Maggie wouldn't have died, you know? 1154 00:52:09,474 --> 00:52:14,348 So she kind of took all that to herself. 1155 00:52:14,479 --> 00:52:16,742 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 1156 00:52:16,872 --> 00:52:19,397 So that was '92, all that happened. 1157 00:52:19,527 --> 00:52:20,572 And then, I don't know. 1158 00:52:20,702 --> 00:52:24,706 That was the last time I saw her, really. 1159 00:52:32,758 --> 00:52:35,804 Adrian: And you know what it's like to go looking for somebody. 1160 00:52:35,935 --> 00:52:38,938 Cavell: Yes, I do. 1161 00:52:39,068 --> 00:52:42,768 I was 43 when I got to know my father. 1162 00:52:45,249 --> 00:52:47,642 Like I would get this feeling- 1163 00:52:47,773 --> 00:52:50,210 Well, I've got to find him- 1164 00:52:50,341 --> 00:52:53,126 because nobody would tell me anything. 1165 00:52:53,257 --> 00:52:54,475 If I asked a question- 1166 00:52:54,606 --> 00:52:56,477 What do you want to know that for? 1167 00:52:56,608 --> 00:52:57,957 You don't need to know it. 1168 00:52:58,087 --> 00:53:00,525 And it took me a long time. 1169 00:53:00,655 --> 00:53:02,483 What was it like the first time you saw him? 1170 00:53:02,614 --> 00:53:03,310 Cavell: Oh. 1171 00:53:05,399 --> 00:53:06,400 What a feeling. 1172 00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:07,053 [Adrian chuckles] 1173 00:53:08,315 --> 00:53:09,316 We just sat back and we talked. 1174 00:53:10,491 --> 00:53:12,798 And he would come along and smooth- 1175 00:53:12,928 --> 00:53:14,843 smooth down my hair. 1176 00:53:14,974 --> 00:53:16,584 I'm some glad you found me. 1177 00:53:17,890 --> 00:53:18,978 I'm so glad you found me. 1178 00:53:20,458 --> 00:53:21,763 I don't know. 1179 00:53:21,894 --> 00:53:23,330 It's hard to explain it, Adrian. 1180 00:53:23,461 --> 00:53:24,244 It is. 1181 00:53:25,419 --> 00:53:26,115 Adrian: Yeah, it's turning out to be- 1182 00:53:26,246 --> 00:53:27,204 uh- 1183 00:53:27,334 --> 00:53:29,206 Norm: Not what you were hoping for. 1184 00:53:29,336 --> 00:53:32,252 I mean, for sure, I was hoping for what you got, you know? 1185 00:53:32,383 --> 00:53:33,862 Cavell: Sure you were. Norm: Yeah, yeah. 1186 00:53:33,993 --> 00:53:38,345 I wonder Adrian, did she ever try to- 1187 00:53:38,476 --> 00:53:39,738 Adrian: -have children? 1188 00:53:39,868 --> 00:53:40,652 Cavell: No, try to- 1189 00:53:40,782 --> 00:53:42,393 Norm and Cavell: -find you? 1190 00:53:42,523 --> 00:53:43,916 I wonder did she ever? 1191 00:53:44,046 --> 00:53:46,527 Adrian: You think she might have, like your father? 1192 00:53:46,658 --> 00:53:48,007 Cavell: He knew about me. 1193 00:53:48,137 --> 00:53:48,834 Adrian: And he was looking. 1194 00:53:48,964 --> 00:53:50,314 Cavell: Yeah. 1195 00:53:50,444 --> 00:53:51,576 So, you know? 1196 00:53:51,706 --> 00:53:52,533 She might have. 1197 00:54:00,411 --> 00:54:03,675 Norm: Well you spoke about, you know, finding the truth. 1198 00:54:03,805 --> 00:54:05,938 Adrian: Yeah. 1199 00:54:06,068 --> 00:54:10,290 Norm: She didn't go to Sault Ste. Marie from Greenspond. 1200 00:54:10,421 --> 00:54:12,988 She lived, uh- 1201 00:54:13,119 --> 00:54:16,949 with a guy in Dover. 1202 00:54:17,079 --> 00:54:20,996 Cavell: Yes, this fellow was something, I think, like Ernie. 1203 00:54:21,127 --> 00:54:23,434 He liked his drink. 1204 00:54:23,564 --> 00:54:25,131 You know- 1205 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:26,654 it seemed like when she got in with this fellow George- 1206 00:54:26,785 --> 00:54:28,177 Norm: George. 1207 00:54:28,308 --> 00:54:32,878 Cavell: she sort of went back to where she was before. 1208 00:54:33,008 --> 00:54:34,053 Norm: Which was what? 1209 00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:35,794 Cavell: Well- 1210 00:54:35,924 --> 00:54:39,406 drinking and- 1211 00:54:39,537 --> 00:54:41,843 Norm: Uh, she left George- 1212 00:54:41,974 --> 00:54:44,324 and gets involved with his great uncle, Frank. 1213 00:54:44,455 --> 00:54:45,804 Adrian: Okay, wow. 1214 00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:47,196 Cavell: And then, we don't know. 1215 00:54:47,327 --> 00:54:48,067 Norm: And you know- 1216 00:54:48,197 --> 00:54:49,547 I'm wondering if she met someone- 1217 00:54:49,677 --> 00:54:51,288 who took her to Sault Ste. Marie. 1218 00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:54,595 A lot of Newfoundlanders are going to the mainland working. 1219 00:54:54,726 --> 00:54:57,903 And he might have been one. 1220 00:54:58,033 --> 00:54:59,948 I can't see Mary just buying a ticket- 1221 00:55:00,079 --> 00:55:01,907 and going to Sault Ste. Marie. 1222 00:55:02,037 --> 00:55:03,343 Why would she do that? 1223 00:55:05,084 --> 00:55:08,566 ♪♪♪♪ [soft piano] 1224 00:55:22,493 --> 00:55:24,408 Adrian: The more you start investigating- 1225 00:55:24,538 --> 00:55:25,800 the more you just want to know the answers. 1226 00:55:25,931 --> 00:55:27,846 Michael Rigby: Yeah, well it's like pulling a thread, right? 1227 00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:29,151 You know, once you start to pull it- 1228 00:55:29,282 --> 00:55:30,196 it just unravels- 1229 00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:31,415 and keeps going and going- 1230 00:55:31,545 --> 00:55:33,330 and hopefully until you get to the end. 1231 00:55:33,460 --> 00:55:34,243 But sometimes you don't. 1232 00:55:34,374 --> 00:55:35,897 Yeah. 1233 00:55:36,028 --> 00:55:37,246 - But uh- yeah. 1234 00:55:37,377 --> 00:55:40,859 - So you were saying you're a retired police officer? 1235 00:55:40,989 --> 00:55:41,860 What- what- ? 1236 00:55:41,990 --> 00:55:43,165 - Yeah, I was a staff sergeant- 1237 00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:45,254 of the Ontario Provincial Police. 1238 00:55:45,385 --> 00:55:46,125 You referred to her- 1239 00:55:46,255 --> 00:55:48,170 as just committing suicide. 1240 00:55:48,301 --> 00:55:50,608 How do you know that? 1241 00:55:50,738 --> 00:55:52,871 My aunt Ellen told me. 1242 00:55:53,001 --> 00:55:53,698 You know, she- 1243 00:55:53,828 --> 00:55:54,699 the first time I met her. 1244 00:55:54,829 --> 00:55:55,656 Okay. 1245 00:55:55,787 --> 00:55:57,963 Well she saw the nails. 1246 00:55:58,093 --> 00:56:00,139 And the nails were blackened, you know? 1247 00:56:00,269 --> 00:56:02,010 Right. 1248 00:56:02,141 --> 00:56:03,969 That doesn't necessarily mean that it was a drug overdose or- 1249 00:56:04,099 --> 00:56:05,666 and if it was- 1250 00:56:05,797 --> 00:56:07,886 the question remains whether it was intentional or not. 1251 00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:09,191 Well I would- 1252 00:56:09,322 --> 00:56:10,715 your best starting point is with the police. 1253 00:56:10,845 --> 00:56:14,109 Obviously Sault Ste. Marie has their own police force up there. 1254 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,460 You know, there would be a report on file, obviously. 1255 00:56:16,590 --> 00:56:17,417 Um- 1256 00:56:17,548 --> 00:56:19,637 Someone has called in. 1257 00:56:19,767 --> 00:56:21,029 Someone has found her. 1258 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,423 And either in medical distress- 1259 00:56:23,554 --> 00:56:25,294 or deceased. 1260 00:56:25,425 --> 00:56:28,210 And uh, the police become involved. 1261 00:56:28,341 --> 00:56:31,736 And the coroner becomes involved. 1262 00:56:31,866 --> 00:56:33,607 And it becomes a coroner's case. 1263 00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:36,001 And they make a determination of the cause of death. 1264 00:57:06,510 --> 00:57:10,731 On the 19th of January, 1997, at approximately 22 hours- 1265 00:57:10,862 --> 00:57:13,778 the deceased, Mary Wheeler, was found laying in her bed- 1266 00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:16,345 by the landlord of the building, Frank Kment. 1267 00:57:19,740 --> 00:57:23,004 There's a synopsis of the facts provided by the boyfriend- 1268 00:57:23,135 --> 00:57:25,790 that he attended upstairs and knocked on the door- 1269 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,619 and eventually entered, and no one answered the door. 1270 00:57:28,749 --> 00:57:32,579 He continued to yell out Mary's name. 1271 00:57:32,710 --> 00:57:33,711 He then observed Mary Wheeler- 1272 00:57:33,841 --> 00:57:35,495 laying in bed, motionless. 1273 00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:36,888 Then he left- 1274 00:57:37,018 --> 00:57:37,845 went back home- 1275 00:57:38,542 --> 00:57:40,848 and eventually called police. 1276 00:57:42,284 --> 00:57:44,199 It won't give me the name of the boyfriend. 1277 00:57:48,900 --> 00:57:51,468 He observed the deceased laying in the bedroom- 1278 00:57:51,598 --> 00:57:54,471 located to the east of the hallway in the residence. 1279 00:57:54,601 --> 00:57:58,431 She was laying on a foldout couch bed- 1280 00:57:58,562 --> 00:57:59,693 was wearing pyjamas, not covered. 1281 00:58:02,217 --> 00:58:03,436 There was nothing of value found in the apartment- 1282 00:58:03,567 --> 00:58:06,091 except a stereo- 1283 00:58:06,221 --> 00:58:08,659 and the watch that she was wearing- 1284 00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:11,052 which was turned over by Arthur's Funeral Home. 1285 00:58:11,183 --> 00:58:12,967 However toxicology and blood alcohol testing- 1286 00:58:13,098 --> 00:58:14,752 still had to be done. 1287 00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:16,144 He observed a black leather purse beside the bed- 1288 00:58:16,275 --> 00:58:17,711 with a pill bottle lid on top. 1289 00:58:17,842 --> 00:58:20,671 She made several attempts to leave messages and contact- 1290 00:58:20,801 --> 00:58:21,628 blanked out the name- 1291 00:58:21,759 --> 00:58:23,630 by telephone, with negative results. 1292 00:58:23,761 --> 00:58:25,589 Approximately six calls were made. 1293 00:58:25,719 --> 00:58:27,112 There was a note on the floor, beside the bed. 1294 00:58:29,114 --> 00:58:30,376 There was a suicide note. 1295 00:58:33,161 --> 00:58:35,381 The suicide note was seized by police- 1296 00:58:35,512 --> 00:58:39,907 and tagged as Exhibit E38388. 1297 00:58:42,257 --> 00:58:46,392 This is a statement that's been completely blanked out. 1298 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,437 And that's it. 1299 00:58:49,874 --> 00:58:52,006 I wonder why they didn't include the note. 1300 00:58:56,576 --> 00:58:57,621 But then I'm like- 1301 00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:01,842 who did she write the note to, you know? 1302 00:59:14,942 --> 00:59:16,901 [ship horn blowing] 1303 00:59:26,998 --> 00:59:31,437 [distant macinery clattering] 1304 00:59:37,312 --> 00:59:39,837 Adrian: I've been trying to have conversations- 1305 00:59:39,967 --> 00:59:40,620 with the police department. 1306 00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:41,447 And I have. 1307 00:59:41,578 --> 00:59:43,144 But you know- 1308 00:59:43,275 --> 00:59:46,539 everybody who was in the police department is now retired. 1309 00:59:46,670 --> 00:59:50,108 And basically, all they could say to me was after five years- 1310 00:59:50,238 --> 00:59:52,458 because the note wasn't claimed- 1311 00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:55,983 you know, it got destroyed. 1312 00:59:56,114 --> 00:59:57,158 You know, you would think- 1313 00:59:57,289 --> 00:59:59,117 or I would think that if you wrote a suicide note- 1314 00:59:59,247 --> 01:00:02,207 it would just be like kind of stamped for the rest of history. 1315 01:00:03,512 --> 01:00:04,601 But I guess nothing is, you know? 1316 01:00:04,731 --> 01:00:05,514 So- 1317 01:00:09,693 --> 01:00:12,260 So I don't get to read what she said. 1318 01:00:12,391 --> 01:00:13,218 And- 1319 01:00:15,394 --> 01:00:16,830 you know- 1320 01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:18,484 that's not how I'm going to get to know her, I guess. 1321 01:00:24,490 --> 01:00:26,274 I don't know if she came here hoping for something- 1322 01:00:26,405 --> 01:00:27,667 or if she came here- 1323 01:00:27,798 --> 01:00:32,629 knowing it was going to take her. 1324 01:00:35,501 --> 01:00:36,981 She wasn't here long. 1325 01:01:04,182 --> 01:01:05,139 My name's Adrian. 1326 01:01:05,270 --> 01:01:06,532 You're on our property. 1327 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:07,489 So can you please explain why you're trespassing? 1328 01:01:07,620 --> 01:01:08,882 - Man: You're in my yard dude. - Sorry dude. 1329 01:01:09,013 --> 01:01:10,492 Man: Yeah. 1330 01:01:10,623 --> 01:01:11,668 Yeah I was looking because my mother used to live here. 1331 01:01:11,798 --> 01:01:13,234 - Woman: Okay. - And that's it. 1332 01:01:13,365 --> 01:01:15,367 I just wanted to come by and see where she last lived. 1333 01:01:15,497 --> 01:01:16,803 Man: Okay. 1334 01:01:16,934 --> 01:01:18,196 That was it. Man: Okay. 1335 01:01:18,326 --> 01:01:19,110 That's all- that's why I'm here. 1336 01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:20,067 Man: Okay. 1337 01:01:20,198 --> 01:01:21,068 You could knock on the door. 1338 01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:21,895 Sorry about that. 1339 01:01:22,026 --> 01:01:22,679 It's just- 1340 01:01:22,809 --> 01:01:23,767 I- 1341 01:01:23,897 --> 01:01:24,550 Woman: Okay. 1342 01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:25,682 Thanks. 1343 01:01:25,812 --> 01:01:27,684 [dog barking in distance] 1344 01:01:44,178 --> 01:01:45,527 Adrian: I get it. 1345 01:01:45,658 --> 01:01:46,833 I get when you go through pain- 1346 01:01:46,964 --> 01:01:48,574 that sometimes it hurts so much- 1347 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:51,403 that you just don't want to continue. 1348 01:01:51,533 --> 01:01:53,144 I understand that. 1349 01:01:57,061 --> 01:02:00,891 Like I understand what it's like when you're- 1350 01:02:01,021 --> 01:02:02,414 when you feel like you've been- 1351 01:02:02,544 --> 01:02:03,720 or when you feel like- 1352 01:02:03,850 --> 01:02:06,897 you don't have anything really to cling to- 1353 01:02:07,027 --> 01:02:09,508 and you just feel really alone- 1354 01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:13,468 and lost. 1355 01:02:13,599 --> 01:02:14,513 And you just kind of- 1356 01:02:14,643 --> 01:02:17,821 you know, fall in whatever path you can- 1357 01:02:17,951 --> 01:02:21,041 hoping that that's going to help you get through it. 1358 01:02:23,174 --> 01:02:24,088 But I mean- 1359 01:02:24,218 --> 01:02:25,393 I'm not Mary Margaret, you know? 1360 01:02:25,524 --> 01:02:26,612 I'm not- 1361 01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,701 obviously I made different choices. 1362 01:02:28,832 --> 01:02:30,529 Or she made different choices. 1363 01:02:42,584 --> 01:02:45,239 [clanging metal] 1364 01:02:49,287 --> 01:02:51,506 [airplane engine] 1365 01:02:56,729 --> 01:02:59,384 Sometimes it feels a bit like a Greek tragedy or something- 1366 01:03:00,994 --> 01:03:02,343 that you go looking for- 1367 01:03:04,868 --> 01:03:06,608 you go looking for light and happiness. 1368 01:03:06,739 --> 01:03:08,959 And what you find is, you know- 1369 01:03:09,089 --> 01:03:10,917 the similar tones and colours of things- 1370 01:03:11,048 --> 01:03:12,223 that you've already experienced. 1371 01:03:18,882 --> 01:03:21,188 I'm going to meet my Aunt Johannah. 1372 01:03:22,755 --> 01:03:25,062 She's Mary Margaret's second oldest sister. 1373 01:03:26,759 --> 01:03:28,979 She reached out to me via email. 1374 01:03:29,109 --> 01:03:31,372 And she's invited me to meet with her. 1375 01:03:31,503 --> 01:03:34,375 She left Newfoundland in the mid-70s. 1376 01:03:34,506 --> 01:03:36,638 And she's now living in Sedona, Arizona. 1377 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,077 [birds tweeting] 1378 01:03:40,991 --> 01:03:42,079 [wind blowing] 1379 01:03:49,564 --> 01:03:50,914 [Adrian sighs] 1380 01:03:51,044 --> 01:03:52,654 Adrian: I can't believe- 1381 01:03:52,785 --> 01:03:53,830 Johannah: What? 1382 01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,048 This. 1383 01:03:55,179 --> 01:03:56,093 I mean, I can't believe that I'm here. 1384 01:03:56,223 --> 01:03:56,876 I can't believe- 1385 01:03:57,007 --> 01:03:58,095 I know! 1386 01:03:58,225 --> 01:03:59,705 You're with family! 1387 01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,446 - I know, which is crazy. 1388 01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:03,491 Look. 1389 01:04:03,622 --> 01:04:04,405 This is what Ellen gave me. 1390 01:04:04,536 --> 01:04:05,363 Have you seen this? 1391 01:04:05,493 --> 01:04:07,060 No. 1392 01:04:07,191 --> 01:04:07,887 Oh I'm not sure. 1393 01:04:08,018 --> 01:04:08,714 I don't know. 1394 01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:09,715 I haven't- 1395 01:04:12,239 --> 01:04:13,197 So she gave me this. 1396 01:04:13,327 --> 01:04:15,286 There she is, yeah. 1397 01:04:15,416 --> 01:04:16,722 Oh wow. 1398 01:04:19,116 --> 01:04:20,030 - She looks so much like me- 1399 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:20,813 when I was younger. 1400 01:04:20,944 --> 01:04:21,640 Mm-hmm. 1401 01:04:21,770 --> 01:04:22,510 It's crazy. 1402 01:04:22,641 --> 01:04:23,729 Well, it's your mom. 1403 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:26,340 [Adrian chuckles] 1404 01:04:26,471 --> 01:04:27,776 You know? 1405 01:04:27,907 --> 01:04:28,952 It's your mom. 1406 01:04:29,082 --> 01:04:29,822 I know. 1407 01:04:33,217 --> 01:04:35,306 Oh my gosh. 1408 01:04:36,089 --> 01:04:37,351 Mary Margaret, yeah. 1409 01:04:37,482 --> 01:04:40,354 Ellen and Betty and Mom and me. 1410 01:04:50,625 --> 01:04:51,365 Yeah, it's beautiful. 1411 01:04:51,496 --> 01:04:53,585 Yeah. 1412 01:04:53,715 --> 01:04:54,847 Oh look at those beautiful dogs. 1413 01:04:54,978 --> 01:04:55,630 Yeah, they're beautiful. 1414 01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,154 Hi! Yeah! 1415 01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:00,157 And so, uh- 1416 01:05:03,334 --> 01:05:04,465 But like nobody in the family- 1417 01:05:04,596 --> 01:05:06,119 told you that she was pregnant when she was pregnant? 1418 01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:06,990 No! 1419 01:05:07,642 --> 01:05:08,382 Nobody? 1420 01:05:08,513 --> 01:05:10,732 No idea! 1421 01:05:10,863 --> 01:05:12,517 No idea whatsoever. 1422 01:05:12,647 --> 01:05:13,605 Isn't that something? 1423 01:05:13,735 --> 01:05:14,954 But you see- 1424 01:05:15,085 --> 01:05:19,393 remember, I knew nothing about Dad being sick. 1425 01:05:19,828 --> 01:05:20,655 Yeah, wow. 1426 01:05:20,786 --> 01:05:22,875 So, you know, they just didn't- 1427 01:05:23,006 --> 01:05:25,530 Like, was there a lot of secrets kept in the family? 1428 01:05:25,660 --> 01:05:26,357 Apparently! 1429 01:05:26,487 --> 01:05:27,227 [they laugh] 1430 01:05:27,358 --> 01:05:28,141 You were one! 1431 01:05:28,272 --> 01:05:29,403 [Johannah laughs] 1432 01:05:29,534 --> 01:05:30,665 You know? 1433 01:05:30,796 --> 01:05:31,449 Yeah. 1434 01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:32,537 Um- 1435 01:05:34,887 --> 01:05:35,714 Yeah. 1436 01:05:35,844 --> 01:05:37,368 So you watched her grow up? 1437 01:05:37,498 --> 01:05:38,804 - More or less, you know. 1438 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,545 But with five years difference- 1439 01:05:40,675 --> 01:05:41,415 Right. 1440 01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:42,634 - You know, there was a whole- 1441 01:05:43,896 --> 01:05:44,636 - So- 1442 01:05:44,766 --> 01:05:45,724 different world. 1443 01:05:47,030 --> 01:05:49,858 Here's- like what's weird for me is like- 1444 01:05:49,989 --> 01:05:52,078 do you feel like she separated from the family? 1445 01:05:53,471 --> 01:05:55,821 I think, um- 1446 01:05:58,345 --> 01:06:02,828 I think her life took a whole different direction. 1447 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:06,571 The one who could tell you the stories- 1448 01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:09,008 who is no longer with us of course- 1449 01:06:09,139 --> 01:06:11,315 is Gerald. 1450 01:06:11,445 --> 01:06:12,620 - He was the closest to her? 1451 01:06:12,751 --> 01:06:15,232 - Well they were closest in age. 1452 01:06:15,362 --> 01:06:18,278 It was two years, you know? 1453 01:06:18,409 --> 01:06:19,801 Actually- 1454 01:06:19,932 --> 01:06:21,064 she sounded like me. 1455 01:06:21,803 --> 01:06:22,543 Um- 1456 01:06:22,674 --> 01:06:23,327 She did? 1457 01:06:23,457 --> 01:06:24,284 Yeah. 1458 01:06:24,589 --> 01:06:25,807 Yeah. 1459 01:06:25,938 --> 01:06:26,852 She did. 1460 01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:28,288 And uh- 1461 01:06:28,419 --> 01:06:29,855 um- 1462 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:34,077 on the phone, people would, you know, be confused- 1463 01:06:34,207 --> 01:06:36,993 thinking it was Margaret, or thinking it was me. 1464 01:06:37,471 --> 01:06:39,082 So- yeah. 1465 01:06:39,212 --> 01:06:40,387 So she sounded like me. 1466 01:06:45,392 --> 01:06:46,045 Yeah, it's beautiful. 1467 01:06:46,176 --> 01:06:47,090 [insects buzzing] 1468 01:06:47,220 --> 01:06:49,266 - I'm happy to share this with you. 1469 01:06:49,396 --> 01:06:51,529 This is very special. 1470 01:06:51,659 --> 01:06:52,443 Yeah. 1471 01:06:53,183 --> 01:06:54,053 Yeah. 1472 01:06:54,184 --> 01:06:57,796 [birds chirping] 1473 01:06:57,926 --> 01:07:01,321 [birds whooping] 1474 01:07:03,671 --> 01:07:04,455 I found the- 1475 01:07:04,585 --> 01:07:05,499 like I was in a foster home. 1476 01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:06,413 Yeah? 1477 01:07:06,544 --> 01:07:07,675 Did you know that? 1478 01:07:07,806 --> 01:07:09,721 No I did not know that. 1479 01:07:09,851 --> 01:07:12,463 You know, Mary Margaret looked for you. 1480 01:07:12,593 --> 01:07:13,420 What? 1481 01:07:13,551 --> 01:07:15,335 Yeah, she went to- 1482 01:07:15,466 --> 01:07:20,906 she thought for sure that her baby boy was in Kelligrews- 1483 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:22,690 with this family. 1484 01:07:22,821 --> 01:07:24,649 And she went and she worked for them. 1485 01:07:24,779 --> 01:07:25,476 They had- 1486 01:07:25,606 --> 01:07:27,434 foster children. 1487 01:07:27,565 --> 01:07:32,874 She just knew that her baby was there. 1488 01:07:33,005 --> 01:07:34,354 Yeah. 1489 01:07:34,485 --> 01:07:36,878 And that was- 1490 01:07:37,009 --> 01:07:37,705 Fuck. 1491 01:07:37,836 --> 01:07:38,706 Yeah. 1492 01:07:38,837 --> 01:07:42,580 Well I mean, you were already gone. 1493 01:07:42,710 --> 01:07:44,147 So she was like- 1494 01:07:44,277 --> 01:07:45,713 Oh wow, so she thought I was in Newfoundland. 1495 01:07:45,844 --> 01:07:46,801 Yeah. 1496 01:07:46,932 --> 01:07:48,412 She didn't know where you were. 1497 01:07:48,542 --> 01:07:50,762 She didn't realize they adopted me out to another province. 1498 01:07:50,892 --> 01:07:51,763 No. 1499 01:07:53,504 --> 01:07:54,853 They let her go- 1500 01:07:54,983 --> 01:07:59,249 because she was getting too attached to the baby. 1501 01:08:04,167 --> 01:08:05,951 [Adrian sighs] 1502 01:08:11,739 --> 01:08:12,436 Ruth loved- 1503 01:08:14,046 --> 01:08:16,483 Ruth loved Mary Margaret. 1504 01:08:16,614 --> 01:08:17,919 - And Ruth was your daughter, right? 1505 01:08:18,050 --> 01:08:20,008 My daughter Ruth, yeah. 1506 01:08:20,139 --> 01:08:23,838 Ruth was the baby that Mary Margaret helped to- 1507 01:08:23,969 --> 01:08:26,798 helped to take care of when she was born. 1508 01:08:28,626 --> 01:08:31,498 Ruth was living in Sault Ste. Marie. 1509 01:08:31,629 --> 01:08:33,848 She was married- 1510 01:08:33,979 --> 01:08:35,459 and had two children. 1511 01:08:35,589 --> 01:08:40,899 And Mary Margaret would go and visit her. 1512 01:08:42,466 --> 01:08:48,863 And it was the police who called Ruth to- 1513 01:08:48,994 --> 01:08:50,430 gave her the news, you know? 1514 01:08:50,561 --> 01:08:51,692 And um- 1515 01:08:52,693 --> 01:08:54,913 and Ruth had to identify- 1516 01:08:56,349 --> 01:08:58,046 identify her body. 1517 01:09:06,794 --> 01:09:08,274 You know what's crazy about that is that like- 1518 01:09:08,405 --> 01:09:11,625 and I mean, I found it out, and- 1519 01:09:11,756 --> 01:09:14,106 so I was born January 17th, right? 1520 01:09:14,237 --> 01:09:14,933 You know that. 1521 01:09:15,063 --> 01:09:16,021 Yeah. 1522 01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:18,328 And she took her life on January 19th. 1523 01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,201 I didn't know that. 1524 01:09:22,723 --> 01:09:23,942 Yeah. 1525 01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:25,683 Wow. 1526 01:09:25,813 --> 01:09:27,032 Yeah. 1527 01:09:27,989 --> 01:09:29,077 Oh Adrian. 1528 01:09:31,732 --> 01:09:34,170 [bird chirping] 1529 01:09:34,300 --> 01:09:35,432 You know, I went. 1530 01:09:35,562 --> 01:09:37,651 I went to Newfoundland when I was 26. 1531 01:09:37,782 --> 01:09:38,478 Did you? 1532 01:09:38,609 --> 01:09:39,349 Yeah. 1533 01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:40,567 I did. 1534 01:09:40,698 --> 01:09:42,613 I didn't have the courage- 1535 01:09:42,743 --> 01:09:44,180 to go looking for her. 1536 01:09:44,310 --> 01:09:45,050 - Mm-hmm. 1537 01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:46,443 You know? 1538 01:09:46,573 --> 01:09:47,966 I just didn't have the courage to go looking for her. 1539 01:09:48,096 --> 01:09:52,188 [Adrian crying softly] 1540 01:09:52,318 --> 01:09:53,493 Fear of rejection. 1541 01:09:53,624 --> 01:09:54,929 Ah yeah. 1542 01:09:55,060 --> 01:09:56,366 And not just that. 1543 01:09:56,496 --> 01:09:57,410 Like I- 1544 01:09:57,541 --> 01:10:00,761 [windchimes in distance] 1545 01:10:00,892 --> 01:10:01,893 The family I was with was- 1546 01:10:02,023 --> 01:10:03,068 it- we had- 1547 01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:04,504 It was dark. 1548 01:10:04,635 --> 01:10:05,679 You know, there were dark things that happened. 1549 01:10:05,810 --> 01:10:06,637 Yeah. 1550 01:10:06,767 --> 01:10:08,029 And um- 1551 01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:11,119 I just didn't want to like- 1552 01:10:11,250 --> 01:10:13,948 I didn't want to come and be a blight, you know- 1553 01:10:14,079 --> 01:10:15,602 on you guys. 1554 01:10:15,733 --> 01:10:17,952 [Adrian cries] 1555 01:10:18,083 --> 01:10:20,128 But you know you would have been welcomed. 1556 01:10:21,826 --> 01:10:23,480 [birds whooping and chirping] 1557 01:10:23,610 --> 01:10:25,221 [wind chimes] 1558 01:10:33,272 --> 01:10:36,362 This photo is amazing. 1559 01:10:36,493 --> 01:10:38,930 - It was a great moment for me- 1560 01:10:39,060 --> 01:10:39,757 you in one arm- 1561 01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:42,194 Kristin in the other arm. 1562 01:10:42,325 --> 01:10:43,891 And she was carrying- 1563 01:10:44,022 --> 01:10:45,023 the baseball bat! 1564 01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:46,938 [they laugh] 1565 01:10:47,068 --> 01:10:49,027 Yeah, it's great. 1566 01:10:49,157 --> 01:10:50,289 And look at your expression! 1567 01:10:50,420 --> 01:10:51,638 Yeah yeah. 1568 01:10:51,769 --> 01:10:54,467 No, I've always- 1569 01:10:54,598 --> 01:10:56,164 Yeah, I've always idolized you. 1570 01:10:57,383 --> 01:10:59,124 So that expression- 1571 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:01,692 and you look at these other pictures. 1572 01:11:01,822 --> 01:11:03,650 And uh- 1573 01:11:03,781 --> 01:11:04,477 it's different. 1574 01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:10,309 Your adoptive father gets in there. 1575 01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:11,702 With Keith, yeah. 1576 01:11:13,399 --> 01:11:15,749 Yeah, I haven't spoken to him in like 28 years or something. 1577 01:11:17,185 --> 01:11:19,144 I remember when I was a kid, I thought one thing. 1578 01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,538 I thought okay. 1579 01:11:21,668 --> 01:11:23,714 Because I was always told that when you're sick- 1580 01:11:23,844 --> 01:11:25,629 it's not your fault. 1581 01:11:25,759 --> 01:11:26,891 When you throw up- 1582 01:11:27,021 --> 01:11:28,153 because Keith was really- 1583 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,242 really, really, really violent, right? 1584 01:11:30,373 --> 01:11:35,203 But if you threw up, and um- 1585 01:11:35,334 --> 01:11:37,336 he never got angry because you were sick. 1586 01:11:39,207 --> 01:11:41,558 And I was like, okay. 1587 01:11:41,688 --> 01:11:43,560 And when I was a really young kid, I just decided- 1588 01:11:43,690 --> 01:11:44,648 well, Keith was sick. 1589 01:11:46,693 --> 01:11:51,307 There was a really angry, angry streak- 1590 01:11:51,437 --> 01:11:53,221 in him. 1591 01:11:56,312 --> 01:11:59,227 It never happened to me. 1592 01:11:59,358 --> 01:12:00,185 Um- 1593 01:12:02,970 --> 01:12:05,451 [Walter sighs] 1594 01:12:05,582 --> 01:12:07,540 but it happened to you. 1595 01:12:10,761 --> 01:12:12,066 And Kristin. 1596 01:12:14,373 --> 01:12:15,287 Yeah, it was bad. 1597 01:12:16,941 --> 01:12:17,985 Anyway. 1598 01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:19,291 Oh, it was bad. 1599 01:12:19,944 --> 01:12:20,901 So you- 1600 01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:23,382 uh- 1601 01:12:25,036 --> 01:12:26,516 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 1602 01:12:26,646 --> 01:12:27,517 Adrian: I couldn't- 1603 01:12:27,647 --> 01:12:28,387 I couldn't talk to him anymore. 1604 01:12:28,518 --> 01:12:29,214 I was done. 1605 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:29,997 I couldn't- 1606 01:12:30,128 --> 01:12:30,824 Really? 1607 01:12:30,955 --> 01:12:32,043 Oh yeah. 1608 01:12:32,173 --> 01:12:33,523 I couldn't do it. 1609 01:12:33,653 --> 01:12:35,089 I quit smoking. 1610 01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:38,136 I realized smoking was going to kill me. 1611 01:12:38,266 --> 01:12:42,880 And I realized Keith was maybe the exact same thing as smoking. 1612 01:12:43,010 --> 01:12:47,145 If I had him in my life, he was going to kill me. 1613 01:12:47,275 --> 01:12:50,191 ♪♪♪♪ [humming continues] 1614 01:13:00,724 --> 01:13:02,813 It's really hard- 1615 01:13:02,943 --> 01:13:03,683 Johannah: Yeah. 1616 01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:05,468 - to get information about her. 1617 01:13:05,598 --> 01:13:06,338 Yeah, yeah. 1618 01:13:06,469 --> 01:13:07,557 - Do you feel that way about her? 1619 01:13:07,687 --> 01:13:08,471 - Um- 1620 01:13:10,255 --> 01:13:11,822 I felt like I never knew her. 1621 01:13:11,952 --> 01:13:13,040 And yet I did. 1622 01:13:16,522 --> 01:13:18,089 The way I see it- 1623 01:13:19,743 --> 01:13:20,526 um- 1624 01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,921 everything- 1625 01:13:24,051 --> 01:13:28,404 absolutely everything was taken from her. 1626 01:13:30,971 --> 01:13:32,277 There was a- 1627 01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:35,585 a sadness in her. 1628 01:13:35,715 --> 01:13:37,021 And what- 1629 01:13:37,151 --> 01:13:39,719 what I found was, um- 1630 01:13:40,851 --> 01:13:45,856 she had been sexually abused- 1631 01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:48,728 by the family doctor- 1632 01:13:48,859 --> 01:13:52,253 who was known to abuse children. 1633 01:13:52,384 --> 01:13:56,170 And I was looking at pictures here in this. 1634 01:13:56,301 --> 01:13:57,607 And you can see- 1635 01:13:57,737 --> 01:14:02,873 and I could see the lost little girl. 1636 01:14:05,223 --> 01:14:07,399 [water splashing and gurgling] 1637 01:14:08,139 --> 01:14:13,884 No one did anything about kids, you know, at that time. 1638 01:14:14,014 --> 01:14:18,758 Growing up, the doctor was the- 1639 01:14:18,889 --> 01:14:19,890 you know- 1640 01:14:20,020 --> 01:14:21,413 God almighty. 1641 01:14:30,291 --> 01:14:31,249 Mary Margaret- 1642 01:14:31,379 --> 01:14:34,600 liked to tell stories. 1643 01:14:34,731 --> 01:14:37,342 And she would come home- 1644 01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:43,783 and tell that Dad was with one of the women- 1645 01:14:43,914 --> 01:14:48,527 that Mom just didn't like. 1646 01:14:48,658 --> 01:14:51,922 She would tell the stories to cause problems. 1647 01:14:52,052 --> 01:14:54,446 Like she was trying to break up the family? 1648 01:14:54,577 --> 01:14:55,795 Yeah. 1649 01:14:55,926 --> 01:14:57,014 And you think- 1650 01:14:57,144 --> 01:14:58,406 How old was she when she was doing this? 1651 01:14:58,537 --> 01:14:59,233 Oh I don't know. 1652 01:14:59,364 --> 01:15:00,321 She was a kid. 1653 01:15:00,452 --> 01:15:01,322 She was- 1654 01:15:01,453 --> 01:15:02,236 um- 1655 01:15:03,586 --> 01:15:04,238 teenager. 1656 01:15:04,369 --> 01:15:05,675 She- 1657 01:15:05,805 --> 01:15:10,549 I mean- but she did create problems with the family. 1658 01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:11,507 And I think- 1659 01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:15,728 this is why there was the rift. 1660 01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:16,990 [trickling water] 1661 01:15:20,037 --> 01:15:20,733 I don't know. 1662 01:15:20,864 --> 01:15:22,866 I looked through her photos. 1663 01:15:22,996 --> 01:15:28,785 And I was like trying to find that joy or that spirit- 1664 01:15:28,915 --> 01:15:29,742 Yeah. 1665 01:15:29,873 --> 01:15:30,700 who she was. 1666 01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:31,744 Yeah. 1667 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:33,006 No, there's- 1668 01:15:33,137 --> 01:15:35,052 I mean, I'm looking at this picture here. 1669 01:15:35,182 --> 01:15:35,835 This is Christmas. 1670 01:15:39,883 --> 01:15:40,797 - It feels like- 1671 01:15:40,927 --> 01:15:42,363 if what you're saying is true, it- 1672 01:15:42,494 --> 01:15:44,365 kind of a lot of things make sense. 1673 01:15:44,496 --> 01:15:45,323 - Mm-hmm. 1674 01:15:47,151 --> 01:15:50,197 - My journey and her journey- 1675 01:15:50,328 --> 01:15:53,418 have too many similarities. 1676 01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:57,553 I don't understand why- 1677 01:15:59,467 --> 01:16:01,121 [Adrian sighs] 1678 01:16:01,252 --> 01:16:02,122 Yes? 1679 01:16:06,039 --> 01:16:07,911 My adoption wasn't good. 1680 01:16:14,787 --> 01:16:16,006 - Do you know this point right here? 1681 01:16:16,136 --> 01:16:17,398 Mm-hmm. 1682 01:16:17,529 --> 01:16:22,142 - This is where we hold our traumatic memories, okay? 1683 01:16:23,404 --> 01:16:25,711 So I'm just putting my finger here. 1684 01:16:28,975 --> 01:16:31,804 And you just take a nice deep breath. 1685 01:16:31,935 --> 01:16:35,808 [breathing and splashing water] 1686 01:16:40,857 --> 01:16:42,989 And now we're going to come to- 1687 01:16:46,689 --> 01:16:52,042 you're going to meet little Adrian. 1688 01:16:52,172 --> 01:16:55,698 At what age do you feel like you'd like to meet him- 1689 01:16:55,828 --> 01:16:56,873 and talk to him? 1690 01:16:59,397 --> 01:17:00,311 Five. 1691 01:17:00,441 --> 01:17:01,094 Okay. 1692 01:17:05,098 --> 01:17:06,926 Take a nice deep breath in. 1693 01:17:12,497 --> 01:17:16,283 And what does he need from you? 1694 01:17:18,068 --> 01:17:19,591 Protection. 1695 01:17:20,984 --> 01:17:23,464 [trickling water] 1696 01:17:29,427 --> 01:17:30,341 Adrian: So you were asking me- 1697 01:17:30,471 --> 01:17:33,692 if I resolved things with Keith. 1698 01:17:33,823 --> 01:17:36,739 I mean, yeah. 1699 01:17:36,869 --> 01:17:37,609 Um- 1700 01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:39,045 uh, you know- 1701 01:17:39,176 --> 01:17:43,180 I don't wake up with the same amount of pain, you know? 1702 01:17:43,310 --> 01:17:44,747 I'm older. 1703 01:17:44,877 --> 01:17:46,879 It's a long time ago. 1704 01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:48,925 I don't have the same kind of- 1705 01:17:50,491 --> 01:17:52,232 you know, but I had to go through a lot of stuff, right? 1706 01:17:53,364 --> 01:17:54,626 Like, I had to- 1707 01:17:54,757 --> 01:17:56,062 I had to do everything, right? 1708 01:17:56,193 --> 01:17:58,021 Drink, and the whole deal, right? 1709 01:17:58,412 --> 01:18:02,199 Like everything to get past, uh- 1710 01:18:02,329 --> 01:18:03,113 you know. 1711 01:18:03,243 --> 01:18:04,636 And I made films. 1712 01:18:04,767 --> 01:18:06,943 And the films basically helped me uh- 1713 01:18:08,901 --> 01:18:12,165 see people, meet people, find people's kindness. 1714 01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,212 You were my best friend. 1715 01:18:15,952 --> 01:18:17,214 I was your best friend. 1716 01:18:17,344 --> 01:18:19,651 I don't know if you remember that, that you know- 1717 01:18:19,782 --> 01:18:22,610 I had a film showing. 1718 01:18:22,741 --> 01:18:23,960 A feature. 1719 01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:25,048 And uh- 1720 01:18:26,353 --> 01:18:29,008 I went to the studio before they showed it. 1721 01:18:29,139 --> 01:18:31,924 And I did a little introduction. 1722 01:18:32,055 --> 01:18:34,753 And I said- 1723 01:18:34,884 --> 01:18:36,407 I want to introduce this film- 1724 01:18:36,537 --> 01:18:38,322 to my very best young friend- 1725 01:18:38,452 --> 01:18:40,150 in Montreal. 1726 01:18:40,672 --> 01:18:41,455 Yeah, it was on television. 1727 01:18:41,586 --> 01:18:42,761 I was watching on television. 1728 01:18:43,153 --> 01:18:44,763 And my name came up. 1729 01:18:44,894 --> 01:18:46,286 You had dedicated the film. 1730 01:18:46,417 --> 01:18:48,158 You introduced the film to me. 1731 01:18:48,288 --> 01:18:49,289 It was amazing. 1732 01:18:59,169 --> 01:19:03,129 They've supposedly restored it- 1733 01:19:03,260 --> 01:19:07,481 a year ago, or two years ago. 1734 01:19:07,612 --> 01:19:09,745 I love her reflections as she's going through. 1735 01:19:09,875 --> 01:19:10,615 Yeah. 1736 01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:12,182 [wind blowing] 1737 01:19:14,532 --> 01:19:17,361 ♪♪♪♪ [woman singing] 1738 01:19:17,491 --> 01:19:22,409 ♪I have been searching through the timeless past♪ 1739 01:19:22,540 --> 01:19:25,412 ♪Because of you my love♪ 1740 01:19:25,543 --> 01:19:28,851 ♪Because of you 1741 01:19:29,416 --> 01:19:32,811 [wind blowing] 1742 01:19:35,945 --> 01:19:39,775 ♪♪♪♪ [Mara humming] 1743 01:20:37,223 --> 01:20:38,355 Ah, that's beautiful. 1744 01:20:38,485 --> 01:20:39,312 Thank you. 1745 01:20:39,443 --> 01:20:40,966 Mmm. 1746 01:20:41,097 --> 01:20:42,750 How, like- 1747 01:20:42,881 --> 01:20:44,143 how did you write it? 1748 01:20:44,274 --> 01:20:45,144 I don't know. 1749 01:20:47,755 --> 01:20:48,800 I just- 1750 01:20:49,670 --> 01:20:51,498 Oh Mama. 1751 01:20:51,629 --> 01:20:52,499 It just came to you? 1752 01:20:52,630 --> 01:20:53,500 Mara: Yeah, just that day. 1753 01:20:53,631 --> 01:20:54,850 I guess I just felt sad- 1754 01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:59,463 because we hadn't met you or talked to you or anything- 1755 01:20:59,593 --> 01:21:02,814 and just knowing that you would never get to meet Mary Margaret- 1756 01:21:02,945 --> 01:21:05,991 and just how sad it was. 1757 01:21:06,122 --> 01:21:06,818 That's all. 1758 01:21:06,949 --> 01:21:07,688 I don't know. 1759 01:21:07,819 --> 01:21:08,602 I guess I just always- 1760 01:21:08,733 --> 01:21:10,648 wondered about her. 1761 01:21:10,778 --> 01:21:11,997 Ellen: I thought about in- 1762 01:21:12,128 --> 01:21:15,348 you know, when you were born- 1763 01:21:15,479 --> 01:21:16,349 and I went to the nursery- 1764 01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:18,351 and asked to see the baby. 1765 01:21:18,482 --> 01:21:20,614 And um- 1766 01:21:21,833 --> 01:21:22,834 the nurse came out- 1767 01:21:22,965 --> 01:21:24,792 and she just shouted that- 1768 01:21:24,923 --> 01:21:27,230 You can't see that baby. 1769 01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:29,885 And then, here I am, all this time later. 1770 01:21:31,147 --> 01:21:33,932 And you're coming to see me! 1771 01:21:34,063 --> 01:21:35,803 [they laugh] 1772 01:21:35,934 --> 01:21:38,284 So I thought, Oh my God. 1773 01:21:38,415 --> 01:21:40,199 I was just- 1774 01:21:40,330 --> 01:21:41,026 you know- 1775 01:21:41,157 --> 01:21:42,419 Adrian: Yeah. 1776 01:21:42,549 --> 01:21:43,899 It's weird. 1777 01:21:44,029 --> 01:21:47,641 I've been asking all these people whether- 1778 01:21:47,772 --> 01:21:50,079 whether you should go looking for the truth, right? 1779 01:21:50,209 --> 01:21:50,949 Mm-hmm. 1780 01:21:51,080 --> 01:21:52,951 Ellen: For me, it would be- 1781 01:21:53,082 --> 01:21:54,561 Yeah, I would- 1782 01:21:54,692 --> 01:21:57,869 I would want to seek the truth of my beginnings. 1783 01:21:58,261 --> 01:21:59,305 Yeah. 1784 01:22:00,916 --> 01:22:02,482 What about you? 1785 01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:05,224 [Mara chuckles] 1786 01:22:05,355 --> 01:22:07,096 Um- I don't know. 1787 01:22:09,794 --> 01:22:12,144 It probably comes to find you anyway eventually. 1788 01:22:12,275 --> 01:22:13,363 [they laugh] 1789 01:22:20,370 --> 01:22:22,241 ♪♪♪♪ [soft music] 1790 01:22:27,464 --> 01:22:29,945 Johannah: A whole new beginning. 1791 01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:32,860 Yeah. 1792 01:22:34,558 --> 01:22:35,472 Yeah. 1793 01:22:38,388 --> 01:22:40,781 [birds whooping and chirping] 1794 01:22:42,174 --> 01:22:44,046 And you are a gift- 1795 01:22:44,176 --> 01:22:45,177 from Mary Margaret- 1796 01:22:48,267 --> 01:22:49,268 to us- 1797 01:22:50,661 --> 01:22:52,402 to her family. 1798 01:22:55,100 --> 01:22:56,232 Yeah. 1799 01:22:56,362 --> 01:22:57,059 That's really sweet. 1800 01:22:57,189 --> 01:22:59,539 You are her gift. 1801 01:23:01,193 --> 01:23:02,281 That's really sweet. 1802 01:23:02,412 --> 01:23:03,108 [Johannah chuckles] 1803 01:23:03,239 --> 01:23:04,631 It's true. 1804 01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:08,244 ♪♪♪♪ [soft music] 1805 01:23:20,778 --> 01:23:25,304 ♪♪♪♪ [soft banjo music]