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(cheerful piano music)
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SALESMAN: Snow globes for sale.
Snow globes here, get your snow globes.
BEATRICE: I'm telling you, Bill, collagen is a hot topic.
Women want it and they wanna know
how they can get more of it. And I really think
this story is gonna resonate with a lot of people.
It's what the female readers are looking for, and--
(no dialogue)
Yes, I know it's Christmas time, Bill.
Yeah snow globes. Come on, hey, happy Christmas.
Buy a snow globe! Snow globes for sale! Come on in!
Yes.
Hey, snow globes for sale. You want a snow globe?
Uh. Uh-huh.
Okay. Life affirming, upbeat story that
tugs at the heartstrings,
and get it in by Christmas time, of course.
Okay. Yeah, thanks Bill.
Tissue?
(Beatrice sighs)
EMILIA: Plain black coffee. Just how you like it.
Thank you. (sigh) Ugh. What is that sugary,
colorful concoction you have there?
-Candy cane syrup. -That's disgusting.
This, my friend, is the joy of Christmas. What happened to you?
Ugh. This is also the joy of Christmas,
crosswalk slush spray. It's trending.
Sorry. I know you hate walking through tourist traps
this time of year, but it's an emergency.
Shopping is an emergency? You know there's still
two weeks left 'til Christmas, right?
Oh, no, not for me. If I don't get my family's gifts
in the mail this afternoon, they won't get there on time.
Why don't you just bring them with you
when you fly out for New Year's?
And not have gifts under the tree for my nephews
on Christmas Day? -Oh, the horror.
Right? It's bad enough I'm not there
to see them open my presents.
You know, if you want to spend actual Christmas
with your family, I will totally understand.
Are you kidding? Bestie, Christmas is our thing.
It's been the hallmark of our friendship since college.
Linchpin of our BFF bond.
The lime in our margarita, the gold standard for all.
Okay, that's enough for you.
Seriously. I love our traditions.
The movie marathons, caramel popcorn.
Mmm, your homemade chili,
vegging on the couch for hours on end.
Correction, I veg, you work.
I work from home on the couch, so it counts.
You wild child, you.
A journalist's job is never done.
My point is, I love spending Christmas with you.
Okay, it's settled. Staycation friendmas for the win.
But with a caveat.
The staycation aspect of our friendsmas,
I was thinking maybe this year
we try something a little different.
-Okay, now you're scaring me. -You haven't even heard my idea.
Yes, but you're acting weird
and you are the queen of traditions,
and now all of a sudden you wanna change things up?
What was it that your foster mom used to say?
"Don't touch the crystal ornaments."
Yeah, that, and "The best way to find out
"if you can trust somebody is to trust them."
Yeah. But she stole that from Hemingway
Well, you need to trust me now.
Okay, you know how I always listen
to that holiday radio station?
The one that plays all the Muppets Christmas songs
that everyone finds pretty annoying?
-Em. -Right.
So I entered one of their call-in contests and I won.
You won, that's great! What did you win?
Two all-expense paid tickets to Christmasland.
Wow! What exactly is Christmasland?
Christmasland is only the most magical place on earth.
Just picture it, B.
It's an entire town devoted to Christmas.
ETHAN: Hey everybody.
MAN: Hey Ethan, welcome home.
KRIS: Oh, hello Ethan!
Ask your mother where she wants the colored lights.
EMILIA: The whole town comes together every year
to give visitors the Christmas experience of their dreams.
BEATRICE: What does that mean exactly?
Does the entire town gather around a giant Christmas tree
and sing the Whoville song?
No. Although maybe they do that too.
But that's not the best part.
I certainly hope that's not the highlight.
So there's this inn, the North Pole Inn,
owned by the founders of Christmasland,
where all the guests are invited to stay
and they guarantee a whole holiday experience.
An entire town in the middle of a magical land!
Okay, you lost me at "magical land."
Fine. It's Massachusetts.
Okay, carry on.
And apparently they make every guest feel like they're family.
-Hello. -Oh, you're home! Ahh!
-Hey mom. -Oh my gosh.
CAROL: Mwah! You look hungry. Are you hungry?
I could be.
Wow. And your hair looks nice. Longer.
-Shorter. -Wow. And still so much of it.
Just like your father. I miss him every day.
Look at you. Oh my God. You didn't shave?
No. This is five o'clock shadow.
But it's morning.
No, mom, that's what it's called.
It's called five o'clock shadow.
And everything is, you know, okay?
Yes, yes, everything is great.
It's Christmas time, we're in Christmasland.
I'm in the queen of Christmasland's foyer.
Mhm, okay. Oh my gosh, my boy, how I've missed you.
Now, are you ready to get to work?
-Yeah. -Alright, here you go.
Okay. No rest for the weary.
Not unless you're a paying guest.
(timer ringing)
Ooh, cookies are ready.
The best part is they guarantee a full holiday movie experience.
A what now?
You know those Christmas movies
I like to binge watch every year?
Yeah, like the one that you made me watch
where a puppy somehow makes two people fall in love?
Like that one.
Except it's not the puppy that brings them together,
it's the magic of Christmas.
-That makes way more sense. -Yeah.
BEATRICE: The family that runs this inn,
they must be really into Christmas.
Smells good in here.
Ooh, I wouldn't try that if I were you.
Why? Not ready?
Because it's my holiday potpourri.
It's oranges, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg.
My recipe for a splendid smelling Christmas kitchen.
Okay, easy there, Mrs. Claus. What are you looking for?
What do you think?
Oh, of course. Yes, it is that time of year.
The search for the missing ornament continues.
Yeah. Well I was thinking that maybe you could have
a peek around the garage and see if it's in
one of those boxes high up in the rafters.
Okay, will do.
Oh! Oh, hey, those are for fellas
working with the reindeer.
You did not get more plastic reindeer for the roof, did you?
Well, I did, but these are for the fellas
working on the real reindeer.
-The real reindeer? -Yes.
The town voted to have a reindeer farm
on Mr. Harlow's property.
-Isn't that fabulous? -It sounds a little excessive.
Well, moderation is a fatal thing.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
Except you just made that up.
No, I didn't. That's Oscar Wilde.
Honey, people thought it was excessive
when I decided to turn this place
into a Christmas themed inn after your father passed.
But it's what's kept me going,
and our neighbors deciding to turn the town
into Christmasland! That's kept many of them going
for their own personal reasons.
It's fun, it's festive, and it's for all.
Okay. And I hear it's official now that the Town Council voted
to change the name of the town to Christmasland.
Officially, official it is.
Okay. Well, as long as this isn't too much
for you to organize and you're happy.
Never been merrier.
Okay, so what you're trying to say
is this town makes you feel like you're living
in a Christmas movie?
Isn't it awesome?
Oh, now don't forget, the rest of our players arrive tonight
and our paying guests will be coming
over the next couple of days.
-Lots of reservations? -Fully booked.
And you remember what to do when they arrive.
Yes. I have my cap and I am ready to perform, dear lady.
Oh, Tiny Tim.
You saying you don't like the cap?
I'm sorry. With all that facial hair, I can't tell
if that's a trick question or if you're just being serious.
-Okay, mom. -Alright.
I know my part.
-So? -So what?
-Will you come with me? -To Crazy Town?
It's Christmasland and it'll be fun.
No, absolutely not.
It's not like you have other plans.
Em, you know I don't even like Christmas.
Oh, we just established that you do.
No, I like our Christmas.
Not the one that is filled with family and memory lane,
and everybody expects you to be jolly all the time.
It'll still be our friendsmas. Just on the backdrop.
It's something that I just cannot relate to.
Hey!
Just looking for green hair, your Grinch roots are showing.
Look, if you wanna go,
I absolutely think that you should, but.
I'm not going without you.
I love you, Em, but I'm not coming.
I know where you live!
And hide your spare key! You can't avoid me forever.
You're still gonna help me with my shopping though, right?
-Come on. -No.
-Please? -Nope.
(cheerful music)
(phone ringing)
EMILIA: Why?
Because.
(cell phone ringing)
Because why?
Just no.
Pretty please?
(sigh) Still no.
EMILIA: Pretty please, with sugar on top?
Just no.
But what about my Christmas gift?
Come on, B, we made a sacred promise to each other,
to always be there for one another.
I am a grown woman who wears a plastic friendship bracelet.
Do not doubt my loyalty.
But Crazy Town is where I draw the line.
Christmasland.
But well, what about your work? Huh?
-What about it? -Your upcoming story?
He said he needed it revised, didn't he?
Hmm. Yes. "Life affirming, upbeat story that tugs
"at the heartstrings," I think were his exact words.
Christmasland might be right up that alley.
A work assignment and a gift to your BFF.
Two birds, my friend. Two birds.
Okay. You could be onto something.
There might be a story there.
I mean, who willingly lives in a town called Christmasland?
There might be a human interest angle.
So does this mean you're coming with me?
Fine, I will come.
(Emilia screams happily)
You are not gonna regret this.
Mmm, we are gonna have so much fun.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
What are we watching? Not a Christmas movie.
Definitely a Christmas movie.
(cheerful music)
Okay, it says here that there is a town-wide snowball fight.
How does that even work?
I bet they have rules.
Or maybe it's a free-for-all. Maybe this is like the
Hunger Games of Christmas themed towns.
(chuckles) Maybe. Oh, look at the next page.
Carriage rides. That sounds kind of cool.
Ice sculptures. Snowman making contest.
A holiday bake off.
Oh, you should definitely stick to the ice sculptures.
Hey!
I'm just saying, you might be more dangerous
with a spatula than a pickaxe.
Ooh, hot chocolate tasting.
That is for me. Sign me right up.
(wheel bumps)
What was that?
EMILIA: No idea.
Yep. We have a flat.
Oh, please tell me you have a spare.
Oh my gosh, it's starting.
What? This string of bad luck?
It's Christmasland.
Yeah. Yeah. I see, I see the sign.
No, no, this is totally the magic of Christmasland at work.
What, you think Christmasland gives a flat tire?
A flat tire at night in the middle of nowhere;
it has holiday romance written all over it.
A handful of nails scattered strategically across the road,
and voila, this is the magic of Christmasland.
Okay. If you are right, it's not magic.
It is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
And I mean, how would that even work with it?
I mean, no, this is just...This is bad luck.
Somebody's gonna come.
And I bet you anything, it's gonna be a he. Ah!
There's no spare!
Trust me. This is all fine. It's part of the experience.
Ah, there's no service. There's no service.
B, B, calm down.
I'm telling you, he'll be here.
He who? I mean what...
Okay, look, Em, I know that you're excited,
but this is not a good situation for us. We need to...
Told you.
Oh, I bet he's really handsome,
blue collar knight in shining armor.
What are you talking about?
Probably wearing plaid and with a full head
of like, amazingly manly hair.
And the strong shoulders,
the male leads always have the nicest shoulders, you know.
Em, I love you, but you've lost your mind.
Evening, ladies.
I told you so. He's the rugged tow truck driver
that comes to the rescue.
I've seen this one a million times.
Need some help?
He looks like a single dad. Ask if he's a single dad.
I'm not asking him that. Hi. Yes, we seem to have a flat.
You don't have a tow truck back there, do you?
I do not have a tow truck handy.
If you have a spare though.
No. No spare.
Where are you headed?
Christmasland. You know it?
Yes, I do. That's where I'm going.
You don't say!
Would you like a ride?
EMILIA: Absolutely--
Not! Just excuse us for one moment.
BEATRICE: What are you doing? He could be a serial killer.
Does he look like a serial killer?
His timing was too perfect.
Exactly.
BEATRICE: So you really think that he was sent
by the weirdo elves of Christmasland?
EMILIA: More than I think he's a super hope serial killer,
dressed in plaid, on his way to Christmasland.
Everything okay?
Ah, we would love a ride.
A ride would be great.
Great. Well, I am Ethan,
Christmasland's official serial killer. And you are?
BEATRICE: Beatrice. This is, uh.
Em. Emilia, but everyone calls me Em. You can call her B.
Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Are the bags in the trunk?
Oh yeah.
Oh!
Thanks.
Don't go falling for me yet. You just got here.
Stay warm, it's a cold night. I'll get the bags.
Such a gentleman. I told you he'd be gentleman.
You did, and he is.
(gasp) Holy moly.
BOTH: He has a puppy!
(both laugh happily)
-Wow. -Oh my goodness. He's adorable.
I see you two met Jingles.
EM: We have. How old is he?
Not exactly sure. Someone dropped him off at the shelter.
A friend of mine adopted him.
And I am now just the chauffeur taking him to his new home.
He's very cute.
So Ethan, are you a full-time resident of Christmasland?
No. No, I grew up here, but actually live in Boston now.
Just home for the holidays.
Hometown boy moves to the city,
and then rediscovers the beauty of his small town. Classic.
-Shh! -(laughs)
And I take it you're a lawyer?
Nope. Engineer.
Interesting.
First time in Christmasland?
Is it that obvious?
No, no. I just wanted to make sure that you're prepared.
Prepared for what?
Prepared for this.
(cheerful music)
Welcome to Christmasland.
EMILIA: This is incredible.
This is not real. What!?
Oh my goodness, are you seeing this?
Oh, I see, I see.
Best day ever!
I'm glad you're happy.
(jolly music)
(train whistles)
(slow groan)
(knock at door)
-Christmas coffee? -Okay.
Oh, what is this?
Peppermint oat latte with coconut whipped cream.
That is disgusting.
It's much better than the plain black coffee
that you normally drink. Here, put this on.
I'm not wearing that.
Just wear it. Thank you.
So I've been thinking about our agenda for the day.
Wait, how long have you been up?
You think I could sleep in when we're in
the most magical place on earth?
All right, tone it down a notch, Cindy Lou.
I can't. There's actually a surprising amount of caffeine
in that drink, so you should really give it a chance.
Okay. So what do you wanna do?
Well, I was thinking we could start by watching
the carollers rehearse,
or we could join an impromptu snowball fight.
Okay. How is it impromptu if it is planned?
Don't be a spoil sport. Ooh, or we could feed the reindeer.
Seriously?
Well, elk or caribou, I think. But same, same.
(knocking on door)
Ho, ho, ho, and welcome.
Nothing like cookies fresh from the oven
to make you feel at home.
These are incredible.
Well, they're not as good as Shelley's down at the bakery,
but mine are made with love and the holiday spirit.
I can taste it.
I'm Carol, the owner of this inn.
I met Emilia downstairs earlier, and she was kind enough
to give me both your holiday profiles.
Well, I'm not really into the holidays,
so sorry if mine's a bit sparse.
Oh, don't be silly. The jolly thing is you filled it in.
You're Beatrice, right?
I am, yeah.
Well, it's nice to meet you. Apologies for not being here
when you ladies checked in last night.
But it was a good thing Ethan turned up when he did.
-That was really good timing. -It was indeed.
Now I better get back to the front desk,
but if there's anything you need, you holler, okay?
Yeah. We'll let you know when we decide which event to hit first.
May I suggest the eggnog tasting?
It only runs 'til the eggnog runs out, so shake a leg, girls.
This place.
It's incredible, right?
Yes, Em. It's perfect.
(train whistles)
Help yourself to some hot chocolate in the parlor.
And Ethan will be right behind you with your luggage.
Oh, going out for some eggnog, are we?
-You better believe it. -All right. And you as well?
Oh, she can't participate. She's lactose intolerant.
You don't have to tell everyone.
Oh, let me see. Maybe you could go look around at the farm?
Oh, I'm just gonna go for a walk around town.
Okay.
B's a writer. She's always looking for a good story.
Oh, we have plenty of those here in Christmasland.
Oh! I've just the man to show you around. Ethan.
Oh, I don't need anyone to show me around.
Ethan, B's gonna take a stroll around town.
Why don't you be her tour guide?
I really don't need a tour guide.
I'd be happy to.
If you want me to.
Well...
Great! I'll see you outside in five?
Don't forget, there's a dinner here tonight
for all the guests. A little mingling, a little jingling.
And how does carols around the piano sound?
We wouldn't miss it. (chuckles)
Oh. Sorry.
PORTER: I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.
Yeah, I wasn't looking where I was going.
I should. Yes.
Thank you.
Of course. Yep.
Hey.
Hey. I'm not sure she wants my company.
Maybe we should just let her explore on her own.
Ethan, you know your job.
Oh boy. Okay, I'm going.
-You're gonna have a good time. -Okay.
I'll see you after the eggnog tasting event.
-Have fun finding a story. -Mhm.
Ready?
Possibly, but probably not.
Just got word on your car.
Johnny's finished fixing the tire.
He's gonna bring it by later today.
Oh, great. That's great.
Ah, any thoughts on what you'd like to see first?
You know, you really don't have to do this.
Oh no, I do. I do 'cause Carol's word is law.
So does that mean you'll be fired
if you don't play tour guide?
Fired? No. No. Disowned, maybe.
Disowned? Does that mean that
Carol is your mother?
Uh-huh.
Wow. I cannot imagine.
I mean, Carol's a lovely woman, but I just...
Is her name actually Carol, as in?
Like Christmas carol? Yeah. That's one of the reasons
why she likes Christmas so much. It runs in the family.
No.
Yeah, you should ask my aunt Holly or my uncle Nick.
You're joking.
Am I? Huh. Come on.
So did you grow up in Christmasland?
Well, I grew up in the town, yes,
but Christmasland, no.
This started about 15 years ago,
and it's kind of getting a little bit bigger every year.
So everyone in this town just really loves Christmas, huh?
Yeah, something like that.
Oh, Beatrice, let me introduce you to,
hey, this is our Mayor, Kris.
KRIS: Oh, Mayor smayer.
"Your Excellency" will do.
Pleasure to meet you, Beatrice. I'm Kris.
Nice to meet you too, Kris.
Well, let me ask you this question.
Have you found the spirit of Christmas yet this year?
Right. Well, I'm here, aren't I? Giving her a go.
Well, that's not very convincing, is it, Ethan?
(laugh) Listen. Well, you just remember young lady,
you find it in here. Hmm?
Now if you'll both excuse me, many things to do.
-Lovely seeing you. -Kris.
He's not for real, is he?
It depends on what you mean by "real".
I mean, your mayor's name is not actually Kris Kringle, right?
(laugh) You are in a town that is trying
to make all your Christmas fantasies a reality.
There's a fine line between what is real and what isn't, here.
Are you real?
Are you saying that I look like Pinocchio?
(Beatrice chuckling)
My advice is just go with it.
Don't try and see the wizard behind the curtain.
Just have fun. Don't ruin all the fun.
Well, I'm a journalist. It's my job to find the wizard.
You're a journalist?
I mean, sort of. I am.
Haven't done any hard hitting Walter Cronkite type pieces
just yet, but I write mostly female-centric pieces.
And I'm currently working
on a holiday fluff piece, heartstrings and such.
Huh. Well, I'm sure you're a great journalist and I'm sure
you'll be even more amazing, you know, when you do get
that hard hitting piece that you're looking for.
But I wasn't actually suggesting
that you would ruin your fun, but maybe other people's.
Emilia?
Yeah. And anyone else who's here for the fantasy of it.
Don't worry, I'm not here to reveal
the tinsel tangled secrets of Christmasland.
What would be the point anyways?
It's not like the town lies about what it is.
Promises a fantasy and it's what it seemingly delivers.
Hmm. Well now is the time in the tour
where you actually get to make a decision.
Do you want the official Christmasland tour,
or do you want the Ethan special?
What's the difference?
Wait, you're not an axe murderer,
and the "Ethan special" is code for my untimely death, right?
Oh really? It's gonna be like that? Fine, bring it.
Okay. You're brave. Let's go.
(Beatrice chuckling)
(gentle music)
Hey, you're staying at the inn, right? I'm Emilia.
I'm Porter. Porter Bryant.
-Do you mind? -Oh, please.
Thank you.
Are you here alone?
Uh, yes. I just...
Okay, me too. I mean, I'm not alone, alone.
I came here with a friend to Christmasland.
I mean, not here to the eggnog tasting.
Meaning, I'm here tasting alone too. Yay!
(both laugh)
I was just gonna get a cup of coffee.
Are you lactose tolerant?
Please say no. Please say no.
No.
Can we get another flight over here please?
Thank you.
I hope you like eggnog, Porter Bryant.
You're about to have your fill. Cheers.
Okay, first stop, contraband. You like coffee?
You mean the whipped cream candy cane covered confection?
No, no, no. I mean real coffee,
black, the way it's supposed to be.
Greg and Millie make the best cup in town, so.
Yes, yes, yes please.
-You got it. -Thank you.
(cellphone ringing)
Hi.
Am I the worst friend ever if I ditch you
for a hot cocoa making class?
So I take it the eggnog tasting was a success.
Oh B, I'm on such a sugar high I think I could fly.
Please don't try.
They promise to teach us how to make
the world's best hot cocoa in this class, so.
Go, enjoy and try not to go into a sugar coma.
-And you're good? -I'm good.
Bye.
-Thank you. -I thought you might be hungry.
You got me chips for breakfast?
Yeah, breakfast of champions.
This tour's off to a good start.
Yeah, I think so too.
And the Ethan special hasn't even started yet.
I will try to contain my excitement.
SONG: ** What makes the perfect Christmas? *
* The Christmas I love *
* Is it the mistletoe and holly or the stars up above? *
* Could it be friends around the table *
* And that old harmony *
* Or all those tiny shiny presents *
* Hidden under the tree? *
* What makes the perfect Christmas? *
* Well, there's gotta be snow *
* So we can build a perfect snowman *
* And have snowballs to throw *
* My perfect Christmas is a Christmas *
* Spent with you **
Oh, careful now, careful.
(song ends) Well, this is our last stop.
Oh my gosh. How does it smell so good and we're not even inside?
Oh, just wait. Welcome to cupcake heaven.
Come on, lemme get the door.
Thank you.
-Shells. -Ethan!
SHELLEY: Ooh. I heard you were home.
Took you long enough to come see me.
Well, you know I always come and visit you.
Hey B, I want to introduce you to Shelley.
Her mom owns the place. Shelley is the best baker in town.
Listen, do you think you could hook B up
with one of your world famous cupcakes?
In Ethan's world, chips for breakfast
and cupcakes for lunch is healthy living.
One sugar plum special coming right up.
Thanks.
BEATRICE: Oh, Jingles.
Hey, managed to find the best seat in the house
where all the crumbs fall.
So I didn't know cupcakes was what you had in mind
when you said you wanted to take me out for lunch.
Well, you are on vacation.
Is that the Christmasland motto?
Would you prefer, "what happens in Christmasland
"stays in Christmasland?"
I think that's taken.
Here you go.
Oh wow, that looks amazing.
Is it dairy free?
You're one of the tourists, huh?
I am, yes. Here 'til Christmas.
You should enter the bake off.
Oh, baking's not really my thing.
Yeah, that is, that's a great idea.
This is one of our best events.
You only say that 'cause you get to be a judge.
Well, it is really difficult eating all those sweets,
but honestly, you should do it. We'd have a good time.
You should. It's always fun when we get somebody who can't bake.
Well, I didn't say I can't bake.
Oh, you're just not up for the challenge?
No, I'm always up for a challenge.
Great. Then I guess we'll see you tomorrow at the bake off.
May the best woman win.
-For your mom. -You got it.
Bye now.
Hot chocolate for anybody? Oh.
What just happened? And why do I feel like
I was just challenged to a dual?
Oh, it looks like you're one of the bake off contestants.
No. No, that wasn't real.
No, that was real. Yeah, for sure.
You said, and I quote, "I never said that I can't bake."
Yeah, but I never said I could bake.
What are you saying?
I can't bake. Like seriously, I really, really can't bake.
How bad are we talking?
Like the fire department was called last time
I tried kind of bad.
Oh, okay. (laugh)
This is not funny. You should have warned me.
It's kind of funny. But how was I supposed to know
she was gonna come at you like that?
Oh, you really can't tell when a woman has a crush on you.
No. She may have when we were kids, but not anymore.
Mhm. Did you two ever date?
No. Not at all. It's not like that.
Shelley's like a little sister to me.
Well, these are Kris Kringle's famous candy apples.
You should try them. They're delicious.
I will save this for Emilia.
Okay.
So seriously, what am I gonna do?
About what?
The bake off.
I think you should bake cookies.
Hey, you accepted the challenge.
Well, that's just who I am.
I'm never gonna say no to a challenge.
Okay. Okay, here's what I'll do.
Just because I did have something to do
with getting you into this, I will, uh. I will help.
You bake?
So surprised. I grew up in the same house as Carol,
the cookie queen of Christmas, so I did learn a few tricks.
I can get one of my grandma's favorite cookie recipes
and I'll walk you through it.
Wouldn't that be cheating?
No. No, it's like consulting,
like your guide in the world of baking.
Well, look who's loving the holiday treats now.
This is Ethan's fault.
B, Ethan, meet Porter, my sugar loving partner in crime.
Hey.
Your friend kindly saved me from making hot cocoa for one.
Well, believe it or not,
he has a sweet tooth that can match mine.
-Ooh. -So what are you two up to?
Well, actually, I need to be getting back.
My mom needs some help with some guests at the inn.
See you later?
Sure.
Great.
You know what, Ethan, I may go with you.
I have a few calls to make for work.
See you at dinner?
I'd like that very much.
Beatrice.
Bye.
For you.
Fine. Okay, so.
-You go. -No, you go.
(train whistling)
Tell me you're not working?
I'm not working.
I'm lying. I think I have an idea for a story.
Oh, is the headline, "my hot tour guide made me swoon"?
Because I'd read that.
It's funny and no, I've been thinking about the economics
of Christmasland. Like what did they do
before it was Christmasland, and how much money do they bring in?
Yeah, that's definitely the life affirming feel good story
your editor is looking for.
(chuckles) Come on, let's head down.
I told Porter we'd meet him before dinner.
Mmm.
So what's the deal with Porter? Is he here on his own?
For business.
What kind of business does he have
in Christmasland over the holidays?
Well, at first it felt like he was an investment banker,
but then he started talking about the antioxidant properties
of dark chocolate and
the traditional theory of (indistinct).
PORTER AND ETHAN: ** Hey, hey go tell it on the mountain *
PORTER: * Go tell, tell it on the mountain *
* Go tell, tell it on the mountain *
BOTH: * Go tell it on the mountain *
And he sings.
-* Over the hills * -They both sing.
* And everywhere Go tell it on the mountain *
* That it is Christmas morn ** (song ends)
(Porter and Ethan laugh)
-That was pretty good. -That was great.
(overlapping chatter)
I really don't think I can win this game.
Never in my life have I tied one of these.
You'll figure it out. You can do it. I believe in you.
Fortunately for you both, I am a world class tie tier.
Okay, how am I doing?
I think we may...
You know what, how about we just find something
that maybe I can show you by example.
CAROL: You didn't tell me how it went today.
Mm. It went well.
Beatrice?
Don't worry. I know my part.
Oh, you think she's warming up?
She's getting in the spirit, as they say?
PORTER: Right, so over.
-Yeah, I think so. -She's very pretty.
-(scoff) -And she doesn't have a ring.
Mom!
What? It's just an observation.
Hey, that's a happy accident. I like that.
You didn't tell me about the breakup.
Well, that's because there's nothing really to tell.
It was six months ago, and I did tell you that.
Yes. She's called the inn quite a few times.
What? Caller I.D. is not snooping, Ethan.
Mhm, okay, yes. She has called. We've talked a little bit.
We're friends. It didn't end on a sour note.
We weren't meant for each other, that's all.
We grew apart, instead of together.
You know what, I never could've imagined that tying this on
someone else would prove to be this difficult, but.
How do you not know how to do this? You're wearing two ties.
I know.
I enjoyed my time in the city, but
I really just wanna move home.
I wanna find somebody who fits with here.
Aw, home is where the heart is.
Yeah. Anyway, this is my way of saying,
you don't need to worry about me. I'm happy.
Well, I'm a mom. Worrying is what I do.
You know, your father used to say a soulmate,
one's partner to be in life,
is something that's intuitively known.
It's not something that can be described,
but something that's felt with the heart and the mind.
Speaking of your father, did you find my crystal angel
in the garage?
I looked there, I couldn't find it. I don't know, Mom,
it's been five years. Maybe it's time to call a truce.
Oof, truce. It's my Christmas angel, Ethan.
She's going to come back, you'll see.
And the timing will be perfect. That's just what angels do.
-Okay. Oh! -Oh.
-It's time for announcements. -Oh, okay.
(glasses clinging)
Good evening everybody. I hope everyone's first day
was festive, and I hope tomorrow will be just as merry.
First, there's a snowman building contest
after breakfast in the town park.
Just before lunch in the parlor here.
And my personal favorite,
the carriage ride on the hillside and dress warmly.
It's supposed to be very chilly.
Speaking of chilly, I still have some of my spiced tea there
and shortbread if anyone's got room.
So I'll see you all tomorrow and have a wonderful sleep.
How was dinner?
Oh, it was great.
It was like being in a Norman Rockwell painting
hanging on the wall of the house in 'Leave It to Beaver'.
If there was ever an analogy to be had, I think that was it.
My mom would probably quote you on that if I told her.
Oh, well, she should have the Christmas elves
put on a plaque and hanging above the wall in the kitchen.
Oh, be warned.
Foster kid being quoted
in the most cheerful familial house of all time.
I've seen everything.
Hey, I was wondering, tomorrow for the carriage ride,
do you wanna ride with me?
Oh, I thought that you had maybe had enough
of playing tour guide.
No.
Okay. Well, yes, sure.
Okay. It's a date.
-Goodnight. -Goodnight.
Yeah, I'm gonna...
-Okay. -Goodnight.
(cheerful music)
Goodnight.
(Emilia and Beatrice laugh)
Tell me, what do you think? Top hat or page boy like mine?
No, perhaps I should have reconsidered my teammates.
Hey, I never claimed to be a snowman-making genius.
Oh, right, just a regular type genius?
-Your words, not mine. -Right.
I couldn't help but notice you have quite the singing voice.
Oh.
Your harmony with Ethan last night.
It felt like you two knew one another.
Well, yes, we do know each other.
I thought you said you were here on business.
So a singing businessman who's also an art expert.
Well, uh.
Fine work, ladies. Fine work.
(Porter clearing his throat)
Oh and good sir, of course. Good sir.
Thank you very much.
Hot chocolate break?
BEATRICE: Ah, yes.
-Do you want one? -But of course. Thank you.
What is going on with you and Porter?
You guys have been making googly eyes at each other all day.
Listen, he is so perfectly posh and cute.
Like a character from "Bridgerton," right?
Your very own Regé-Jean Page.
Hence why I'm convinced he's to good to be true.
Sure.
I mean, you said it yourself. What kind of business
does someone like that have in Christmasland?
So you think he's in on the act?
Maybe? I think so.
He doesn't seem like an actor.
EMILIA: There's just something that doesn't ring quite true,
You know? Like a Prince Charming, if you will,
that only exists in fairytale, or.
Feel good rom-coms?
But at least we know Ethan's not an actor, so.
We know that because..?
Hello? The way he looks at you.
The way he looks at me?
Don't pretend like you haven't noticed.
I'm just saying he is for real, so.
(clears throat) Not that I'm eavesdropping, ladies,
but I just wanted to mention
this beard is also real. (chuckles)
-This town is so weird. -Don't say it.
Well, this should be an adventure.
A horse-drawn carriage, beautiful snowy winters day,
and a gorgeous woman by my side.
You think I'm gorgeous?
Stunning.
Shall we?
Lets.
ETHAN: Okay. Confession time. I did have an ulterior motive
in asking you to be my partner in this carriage ride.
What was that?
Oh, my special tour is not quite over yet.
So does that mean we're not going with
the rest of the carriages?
No, no, we are gonna go rogue.
That is, if you are okay with that.
Sure. I guess so.
Okay, good. So this is hot chocolate.
-Ah. -Courtesy of my mother.
It's dairy free.
Wow, word travels fast.
Well, we are a small town, first and foremost.
There are no secrets. You ready?
I guess so.
-Okay. -Okay.
(clicks tongue)
You know, this town really is as magical as it claims to be.
That's why the tourists come, the illusion of magic.
You know, the way you say "illusion" makes me feel
like it's not all positive.
No, no, it's not like that.
It's just the town has changed a lot since my dad died.
Oh, I'm sorry. When was that?
Oh no, it's 15 years. Wasn't recent.
But his absence is kind of how I track the
progress of the town, if you can call it that.
You can call it that.
Yeah. Well, I mean, as you can see, Christmasland
doesn't just happen behind all the joy and love
and Christmas spirit that it brings.
There's a whole machine that has to keep it going.
An engineer talking about the machine of Christmas.
Now that's a story I would like to hear.
Okay. Slow down, Katie Couric.
(Emilia laughs)
So you got this from saving a cat?
Yes.
Apparently I'm not as good at climbing trees as I once was.
But you saved a cat in the middle of Central Park.
Yes, it was just inside the East 79th Street entrance.
It's across from the building that my family owns.
Your family owns a building on the Upper East side?
Mhm. And the funny thing is,
the cat's owner lives on the first floor.
And I live in all one of the upper floor apartments.
-Penthouse apartment. -(Porter hums)
And that cat,
that cat still seemed to recognize me for some reason.
As the cat saver that you are.
Precisely, yes.
Is this a joke?
-I beg your pardon? -An act, I mean.
You said you're here for business.
-Yes. Yes, that's right. -Over Christmas?
Well, I mean, I don't have much family, so.
No wife or girlfriend?
No, no, no. Definitely not, no.
So a single businessman from the big city
who just so happens to be here in Christmasland
for business alone over the holidays?
Yes. Is that a problem?
No. No. It's just
a little too on the nose. Don't you think?
"On the nose"? I don't think I understand.
You know what? Nevermind. I mean, I'm having fun.
Most fun I think I've had, ever.
Is that so?
Just forget I said anything.
I'll just play along, you know? Enjoy the day. Why spoil it?
Okay.
Shall we see if this hot chocolate is as good as ours?
We shall.
I'm sure it's not going to be, but.
(Porter chuckles)
ETHAN: Sorry, it's a little bit cold.
I can't believe it's dark out already.
Do you know your way back?
-Brought my compass. -Really?
-No. -(Beatrice laughs)
So what is this place? Oh, let me guess.
This is a set that you built for guests who want to experience
A Christmas Carol, and Ebenezer Scrooge
and the ghost of Christmas past are about to appear.
That's funny. My mom actually did try that a few years ago,
but it wasn't really a hit. But I did keep all the decorations.
No, this was built by my granddad.
It's a place of quiet reflection for the Crane family men.
Well, I guess just for me, now that my father's passed.
You talk about your dad a lot, you must miss him.
Yeah. My dad was actually inspiration for Christmasland.
Well, kind of.
After he passed, my mom didn't get outta bed
for about a month. She was depressed.
She found a letter that he had written
when they had first started dating.
He kept saying how our hometown
is the most magical place in the world.
And he proposed in that letter,
and as soon as he came back, they got married the next day
which was Christmas day.
Pretty sure that that is what got my mom out of bed,
inspired her to do all of this.
Wow. That is beautiful.
What are you looking for?
Hmm? Oh, interestingly,
the wedding gift that my dad got
for my mom was a crystal angel ornament,
made by a local artisan. Went missing a few years ago,
but my mom hasn't given up looking for it.
Same chore every year.
Oh, well let me help you.
Thanks.
Remind me, does the angel go on the top of the tree
or on this side?
On top of the Christmas tree or on the side?
It's like you never decorated
a Christmas tree before. It can go wherever it wants.
Oh, I'm not trying to make fun of you.
No, no, no. I know, it's weird.
A grown woman who's never decorated a Christmas tree.
Are you being serious?
You've never decorated a Christmas tree before?
Yeah. I mean, I've seen them, of course, you know.
Emilia's family had one and they had all decorated,
and saw them on TV Christmas specials.
The big happy family around the fireplace
with the stockings all hung, and the sparkling tree
and the presents exploding underneath.
Foster care. I remember you mentioning
that the other night after dinner.
Yeah. Yeah. The holidays weren't really a time of year
I looked forward to in my childhood.
I still avoid it actually, which is ironic
being that I'm in a town called Christmasland.
I'm sorry, Beatrice.
Hey, before you go feeling sorry for me,
I am fine, all right.
And you know, Emilia declared me her best friend
in second grade and I have never been lonely since.
She's definitely a good friend.
Yeah, the best. No matter where I moved
or how many schools I transferred to,
she always made sure that we stayed close.
Wow! Does this work?
Yeah. Some oldies underneath there.
Take a look, put something on.
That's a good one.
SONG: ** It feels like a dream *
* You're the knight in shining armor *
* Who came to rescue me *
* Now my past keeps rushing *
* And telling me not to believe * -What?
-Wanna dance? -Okay.
* But I wanna trust you are perfect for me *
* When is our time *
* Oh I pray that you'll be mine *
* Oh the way that you smile *
* Makes my heart skip a beat *
* I've been running around for my entire life *
* To find the spark I have with you *
-(song continues) -I'm going to spin you.
-No, you're not. -Yeah. Can you handle it?
(song continues) * Let's not waste any time *
* Is this real, the way you're making me feel *
* Should we give this a try? ** (song fades)
(gentle music)
(knock at door)
Hey, what are you doing?
I think I have a new story idea. I was thinking about what Ethan
said about how it's not so much the decorations and events
that make magic of Christmasland,
but it's the machine of how things are put together behind.
Only you could write a story about Christmasland
and make it sound industrial.
Well, I haven't figured it all out just yet,
but I think I'm onto something.
You know, it's the soul of how things work behind it.
What are you doing?
Put that away for a second. I wanna show you something.
Okay. Seriously, what are you doing?
-We're being sneaky. -Ah.
Okay. Being sneaky is not your strong suit.
-Shht. -What are we doing?
Remember when I told you that Porter was too good to be true?
Like seriously, saving a cat for an
old lady, that's just overkill.
I thought he never admitted to it being an act.
I really don't think that they would plant the guests.
Ah, think again.
I'm pretty sure I just cracked the case of the phony guest.
Look!
May I just add that you look... (clears throat)
What is he doing?
May I just add that you look
truly lovely this evening.
I think he's practicing his lines like he's an actor.
Like a real actor.
It's kind of brilliant though. I mean, if some of the guests
are in on the whole holiday romance experience.
Whoa, whoa. What holiday romance experience?
This is supposed to be holiday magic.
No one said anything about romance.
You don't think romance is magic?
I think Porter, the posh, big city billionaire
with the heart of gold is a character.
He's a fantasy. Just like everything else in this town!
You really think that they've planted guests?
Not all of them, obviously. But I mean, did you hear
that lady singing carols last night? She's gotta be a ringer.
-You sound paranoid. -Or am I just onto the truth?
-No. -Yes!
Oh, hey, there you are.
-(Beatrice clears her throat) -Are you two all right?
-Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. -Yeah, totally.
-We're just, uh. -We're just, um.
We're just checking to see which doors creak the loudest.
Yeah, just...so far I'm winning.
Uh...Cool. Oh, Beatrice, guess what?
I scored my grandmother's famous ginger molasses cookie recipe.
There's no way you are not gonna win with those suckers.
(laugh) I don't think you know what you're up against Ethan.
But good luck and I'll catch up with you later, B.
Mhm.
-You ready to get baking? -Probably not, but sure.
Come on.
Okay. So where do I start?
Well, the first and most important part of baking cookies
is appropriate attire.
Ah.
-Oh. -Here we go.
(laugh) Thank you.
It's an inexact science.
Here we go.
Okay. What's second?
The second step is you get to work. -(song starts)
** It's in the air That Christmas feeling * -Get to work, okay.
* Let's deck the halls high and trim the tree * -Work my muscles.
* Let's ring the lights and hang the stockings *
* Put on some music and make memories *
* Family and friends all gather closer *
* Spreading love and cheer *
* We hear the carols that we've been singing all our lives *
* We see the snow fall *
* Dressing all the world in white * -(Beatrice yells)
(song continues lyricless)
-Don't! Don't even. -What? Oh, I'm sorry, what?
(both laughing)
A truce, I call truce.
Called it, I didn't think you'd be the first to surrender.
Hey, I did not say anything about "surrender".
I just suggested a truce.
Oh, semantics.
(Beatrice chuckling)
-Something on you. -Thanks.
Oh! Oh my. I'm sorry to intrude.
No, no. You're not intruding, Mom.
Of course you're not intruding. This is your kitchen.
Cookies smell good.
Yeah, Beatrice made them. I helped.
Yeah, I see that, sweetheart.
I should help clean up. We should clean up, it's...
Don't be silly. You're Ethan's guest. I'll clean up.
-I'll help you. -Are you sure? Because it's...
You know, I'll have your apron washed.
Oh no, you keep it, sweetheart. It looks great on you.
Keep it? Are you sure? It's so beautiful.
-It's nice. -Okay. Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
It's a pleasure.
The cookies. Thank you.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Something about Beatrice. Hmm?
It's just so hard, you know,
figment of my imagination or real.
Okay, wait a second. We need to take a break from the conspiracy
theories, and talk about what just happened with me and Ethan.
What happened? Did he kiss you?
No, but almost, I think.
An almost kiss, are you kidding me?
What? Is that bad? It is, isn't it? No, of course
you're right because we live in different cities, so.
No, B, that's not why I'm freaking out. I'm totally down
with you kissing the rugged blue collar knight in shining armor.
Okay, we need a shorter nickname, that is a mouthful.
But an almost kiss, that's classic holiday romance
movie material right there.
You said that there was no way that Ethan was an actor.
I did. But almost kisses are right up there
with snowball fights, and flour fights.
Flour fights?
Yeah. You know that scene where the lovebirds are cooking
or baking or whatever and they just end up being all cutesy
and tossing flour on each other, and.
What are the holiday romance cliches again?
Let's see. There's snowball fights, flour fights,
sharing a hot cocoa, slow dance, and an almost kiss
that gets interrupted at just the right moment.
Check, check, check, check and check.
What?
No, I mean, I see. Maybe he wasn't gonna kiss me.
Oh, and the big bad ex, that is a must.
There has to be an ex?
There usually is one.
You could just ask him. Of course, I asked Porter
and he avoided the question, like, duh.
But then again, I'm pretty sure he's an actual professional, so.
No, no, there's no way. I mean,
Ethan and I, we shared like, a moment, kind of.
I know I barely know him, but I just feel like I can...
trust him? (moan)
Wow.
What?
I just don't think I've ever, in your entire life, heard you say
something quite like that. Except about me, of course.
You know what? Believe in that.
Forget everything we were just talking about.
So you don't think there's anything to worry about?
Nothing at all.
Except maybe...
The bake off.
-You got this. -What have you done?
(bright music)
KRIS: Alright, everyone settle down now. Settle down. Settle down.
All right, well welcome to all of our guests,
and to all of our judges. And let's give a special hand
to Mrs. Mirabell Cooper, and her daughter Shelley
for hosting our 10th annual Christmasland bake off.
(guests clapping)
10 years, it's a lot of sugar.
Alright, now this is a blind taste test,
but before we get started,
why don't we meet some of our contestants, hmm?
So first up, we have Mr. Gavin Rainey
visiting us from Mahone Bay. Mr. Rainey, everyone.
(guests clapping)
He took the bus. And we have Miss Beatrice Thompson,
who is a guest of Carol Crane's at the North Pole Inn.
(guests clapping)
Yes. City girl. Oh, and we have our very own Miss Shelley Cooper.
Stand up, give everyone a wave, Shelley.
(guests clapping)
Let's see if Shelley can win for the third year in a row.
Oh, that's a dynasty. Yes.
All right, let the tasting begin! Oh ho ho.
(jolly music)
-Nervous? -No. Okay, maybe a little.
Well, if you don't win, there is no justice in this world.
Well, you're just saying that because you helped.
Wait, why aren't you judging?
I excused myself.
But you like tasting all the little treats.
I had more fun helping you today.
Besides, I think I would have a hard time not being biased.
(jolly laughter) All right, everyone,
the moment you've all been waiting for, the results are in.
Drum roll please.
(clapping drum roll)
And the winner is...
Oh! Miss Beatrice Thompson!
-(guests cheering) -(Kris laughs)Quelle surprise!
(guests cheering and clapping)
Come up, Beatrice. Come up.
(Emilia cheering)
Oh, congratulations. Speech, speech.
Wow. This is very unexpected.
Okay, well I'd like to thank Ethan Crane for helping me.
This is your win as well.
And Anne, a big thanks to your grandmother for her recipe
and to Carol Crane for giving me your beautiful apron,
which is obviously very lucky.
-Aww. -So, thank you.
Congratulations. Congratulations. Great speech.
(guests clapping)
And now everyone's favorite time of the night.
Come up and dig in everyone.
(guests cheering)
Hi. Yes, no, I'm still in Christmasland.
Oh, on the right track.
Okay, that's good to hear. Sure.
Right, yeah. Yeah. I'll keep working on it,
and I'll send you a final draft soon.
Merry Christmas.
Congratulations.
(laugh)
Thank you. It was a team effort.
Oh, "team". Is that what we were?
-You prefer "partners"? -Yeah, I prefer "partners".
Well, you're just saying that because you want
me to share the prize with you.
Well, the prize was a crown,
so I think I'm gonna let you keep that.
A crown? We did all that work for a crown?
Oh, there she is. Our winner. (laugh)
Oh, you two are looking cozy, huh?
-You forgot this! -Oh.
Congratulations! Perfect!
-Wow, that's just really nice. -Yeah, it really suits you.
You did it!
My mom is never gonna believe this.
No one who's ever met you is gonna believe this.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Well, congratulations, Beatrice.
Hey, shall we celebrate back at the inn?
Sure, that would be great.
Yeah. I'll just check if Shelley needs some help
cleaning up and I'll see you there.
(Beatrice sighs)
Everything okay?
Yeah.
I was just thinking about what you said about Porter earlier
and the weirdness, and it's all just so weird.
But weird good, right?
Mostly, yeah.
Beautiful, unexpected magical things can happen, you know?
Yeah. I'm just scared.
You're putting yourself out there
for the first time in your life.
Opening up to someone. I'm proud of you.
-Yeah, you're right. -I usually am.
(both laugh)
Besides, the hot cocoa and the flour fight
could hardly have been avoided in this town.
(Beatrice hums)
But what about Porter practicing his lines in the mirror?
Yeah. That was pretty odd.
But we haven't heard him use the line on anyone, right?
Maybe it's just a self-esteem boost or something.
Yeah, I guess.
And there's one cliche that has not happened yet.
The big bad ex.
Exactly. Now if some gorgeous uppity city chick
suddenly comes onto the scene declaring herself Ethan's ex...
Then you'll know its all an act.
(bright music)
(bell ringing)
Can I help you?
SCARLET: I'm here to see Ethan Crane.
I mean, they looked good, which was surprising.
But I still don't know how they tasted, so.
Good evening, ladies.
Hello.
-Goodnight. -Goodnight.
Apple cider for you, my dear.
Wow, that's so thoughtful of you.
Of course.
And might I just say that you look truly lovely this evening.
Porter, if that really is your name,
I think it's time you and I have a little chat.
-Scarlet? -Surprise!
Beatrice.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were at the bakery store.
Hello?
What are you doing here?
-Oh, I just came-- -I just came to see you.
I should go.
No, Beatrice, wait.
I'm sorry, you are?
I'm just a guest.
No, no, no, Beatrice isn't just a guest. Beatrice is my friend.
Ethan, perhaps you should introduce us to.
Oh yeah, Scarlet. Ethan's girlfriend.
-Oh. -No, ex-girlfriend.
-You're kidding. -Okay. I can explain.
No, no. I can't believe you would take
the holiday fantasy this far.
This far?
I'm sorry, I mean, I didn't get the script,
so you'll have to fill me in.
Script?
Ethan, who is this?
This, it's...
BEATRICE: Your girlfriend? Is that how this goes?
I mean, I haven't seen a lot of these movies,
but I'm pretty sure I've seen this one.
-What are you talking about? -Isn't that how it goes?
I stand in for your girlfriend. Save you from the big bad ex.
Excuse me!?
How am I doing? Is my performance on point?
Oh, oh, oh no. Beatrice, no, that...
You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and flip the script
because you can have him. He's all yours.
You know, I know that this holiday romance package works
for some of your guests,
but I just, I did not sign up for this.
SCARLET: What romance?
Seriously, you need to drop the whole,
"I don't know what's going on" act
because it's a little bit over the top.
What is going on?
And also, you should probably talk to wardrobe
'cause I don't know anyone who wears high heels in the snow.
Oh, okay. Beatrice, trust me,
there has been a misunderstanding.
No, no misunderstanding.
I mean I should have seen it coming
because the flour fight and the carriage ride.
And then you wanted to kiss me.
-Kissed her!? -Kissed her?
Almost kiss 'cause it's always an almost kiss.
Okay, so.
What I wanna know is how far were you willing to go
to make me feel like I'd fallen into some holiday love story?
-Love story? -Love story?
Mom.
All part of the Christmasland experience, right.
Hold on. This place isn't really called Christmasland, is it?
Okay, see, if you really were Ethan's girlfriend,
you would know all about Christmasland
and how much he loves it here
and can't wait to move home, if that's even true.
So you can just, you can drop the act.
I so don't need to stand here and listen to this.
I guess you should go after your girlfriend.
No, my ex-girlfriend from six months ago.
Okay. I just, I don't want to...
I don't want to hear it.
(door slamming)
I should go after her.
Yes, you should. But which one?
PORTER SINGING: ** In Bethlehem in Judea *
Which way did she go?
* To which His Mother Mary *
* Did nothing take in scorn *
* Oh tidings of comfort *
* And joy *
* Comfort and joy **
I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. How could I?
(continues muttering) Oh!
Oh my gosh! Sugar plum!
Okay, I'm so sorry.
No, thank you. That's terrific.
Mom and I always take all the leftovers
to the shelter every day.
Oh wait, you have a homeless shelter here?
Don't look so shocked.
We have all the same problems as every other town.
Just typically the tourists don't see them.
Are you okay?
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Just have allergies.
Winter allergies, I understand.
Hey, you know I'm sorry about earlier.
I was really shocked that I won the bake off.
I bet you are.
Yeah. This might sound weird,
but you're being really nice to me.
And earlier it seemed like you didn't really like me, kind of.
Isn't that music to my ears? I played the part perfectly.
What, so you mean?
I'm part of the show, yeah.
The baking rival. Who loses.
(carollers singing Deck The Halls)
Beatrice? Hey...Scarlet.
Yeah, it's Scarlet.
I guess you do remember something about me.
What are you doing here?
I just came to, I don't know.
Maybe win you back.
Probably should have called.
What is this place?
And what was that lady talking about back there?
It's a little bit hard to explain.
So wait, does that mean I didn't win the bake off?
Goodness, no. Did you try your own cookies?
-That makes sense. -Yeah.
What about Jingles, your puppy?
Part of the ruse. Works wonders with the guests though,
as the guests always find the puppy relatable
in our Christmasland experience.
Especially when Ethan is seen with one.
But the reality is my mom and I volunteer
for Canine Companions as puppy raisers.
-Wow, that's amazing. -That's Christmasland.
So you don't have a crush on Ethan?
Ethan? Oh goodness, no, no, no.
I'm happily married with two kids.
You met Kris Kringle?
-The Mayor? -Yeah.
-He's your..? -Other half, yep.
Okay, let's get you something warm to drink before you go.
Oh, if you're sure.
Yeah, but you're welcome to stay.
It's a long drive, it's cold.
No, I'm fine.
I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways.
I'm just sad it's over.
You're a good man, Ethan Crane.
(melancholy music)
(phone buzzing)
(gentle music)
You're awake.
Em, I'm really sorry, but I just.
Before you say another word, come with me.
-Em, I just... -Wanna leave, I know.
Can you at least get a cup of coffee with me first?
They don't serve coffee here.
Are you sure about that?
The ex showed up, Em.
I heard.
I mean, you told me that everything here was gonna be
a fantasy and I went and fell for it anyways.
No, you are not letting me off the hook for this.
I took the least trusting person I know to a place
where nothing can be trusted,
and I told her to believe. I should be friend shamed.
No, it's not your fault. It's...
It's no one's fault, it just is.
I would try and convince you to stay,
but I know you well enough that that's not gonna happen,
so just gimme five minutes. I will pack up my stuff,
and then we can be on the road by noon.
Oh no, no, Em, we are not going.
-But-- -I am gonna go.
It's Christmas Eve and you love it here.
And I believe I saw Porter
serenading you last night,
so I have a hunch you might wanna spend Christmas with him.
No, not more than I would with you.
Well, I love you for that, but I wanna know
what's going on with you and Porter.
We are talking about you right now.
No, we're done talking about me. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Well, turns out he does have business here.
What I did not think was plausible is apparently real.
He's very smart, very successful, a very good singer.
And he's very much into me as much as I am into him.
And he's working with Ethan, actually.
Really?
He didn't say more than that and I didn't wanna dig.
So what about the rehearsing in the mirror?
I guess he's just nervous around me,
so he wanted to practice what he was gonna say. He's so cute.
So you're happy?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy.
Good, good.
I'll be right back.
Oh, I see you found that pot of black coffee I made.
I did. Thank you.
I also found...
-(Carol gasps) -...this.
My Christmas angel? She found me.
-Seems like it. -Aw.
Please don't go, Beatrice.
Unfortunately, I just, I think I have to.
Ugh.
But thank you so much for having me.
This really is the most warm and loving home.
It's right up there with my best friend Emilia's.
And as someone who has lived in a lot of spaces,
it's top two for sure.
You know, it was me that tasked Ethan
with being your tour guide.
Well, he's very good at it. He's charming.
Well, there's always someone who's been dragged here
and doesn't want to be here. And it's Ethan's job to make them
comfortable. At least, that's what I task him with.
Oh.
Not everybody's into the illusion and the magic,
and so we give them something real.
Like black coffee and a behind the scenes tour.
Yes, Ethan may work for me for the holidays, but he's no actor.
So what you're trying to say is...
Ethan is my Grinch handler.
Every year we have a Grinch like you, no offense.
None taken.
"Grinch" is the wrong word.
I just mean someone who doesn't see the magic of Christmasland.
Because at its heart, Christmasland is,
it's a celebration of the spirit of Christmas.
It's not a place where anybody gets hurt.
To my knowledge, no one ever has, until now.
Hey, I have a thick skin. I'm fine.
Well, I can see that you do.
Beatrice, I know it's not my place to ask,
but do you think you can do me a favor on your way out of town?
-A favor? -Yeah.
(energetic music)
I didn't know that you were going to...
Your mom just wanted me to drop this off to you.
You found her.
Yeah, I did.
Look, B, I know you're upset with me,
but I'd like to talk.
It's Christmas Eve, and I really need to get on the road.
Please.
I know what you're thinking, Beatrice,
that your experiences here with me, that they weren't real.
Well it wasn't real because your mom told me
that it was your job to entertain me.
It wasn't like that.
What was it like then?
I wasn't trying to trick you.
The more time that we spent together, the more feelings
I started to have and they're feelings I've never had before.
I like you. I think you like me too.
It doesn't matter if I like you.
Then what does matter?
If I can trust you.
You can.
Gimme one reason why I should.
Trust isn't something you can reason, it's a...
...a leap of faith.
Yeah. Leaps of faith are not exactly my forte.
I mean, I don't even know you, you don't know me, really.
Yet I feel like maybe I've known you for my whole life.
How about this? You ask me anything
and I promise you, I'll tell you the truth.
Okay. Tell me about Mayor Kris.
Not real. He's a lawyer.
Well, a community theater actor too.
And he's married to Shelley, who's also an actor.
Okay. I actually knew that because Shelley told me.
I was just testing your truthfulness.
So then what about Porter?
Because he told my best friend that he's real, so.
Porter is for real. More than that, really.
Somebody I've been working with for
the past couple years in the city.
This is my hometown.
I belong here and I'm moving home,
and I want to help grow Christmasland.
And Porter is one of my investors.
Gonna surprise my mom with the news tomorrow.
Wow. Okay.
What about Scarlet?
She's an ex-girlfriend.
Long gone. Long, long over.
And you should stay.
You should stay and help me decorate this Christmas tree
for your first time ever on Christmas Eve.
-Ethan, I-- -Please stay.
I have a lot of imaginary things in my life,
but if you stay, I can show you something real.
Okay.
SONG: ** Oh the way that you smile *
* Makes my heart skip a beat *
* I've been running around for my entire life *
* To find the spark I have with you *
* With your hands in mine ** (song fades)
BEATRICE: And so dear reader, I'm pleased
to report that there truly is magic in Christmasland.
In this close-knit town
where stories intertwine like garland and holly,
the real enchantment lies not solely in bake offs,
or Kris Kringle's snowy contests,
nor even in Carol Crane's mischievous grin,
but within the leaps of faith that come with trust,
held snug by the wings of one's angel.
Your life's desires just a heartbeat away,
waiting to be revealed.
They may arrive in unexpected forms,
embraced by newfound companions who become cherished kin.
So I guess my message to you is have faith, my friend
in the unseen hand that guides Christmasland,
and the trust that anchors it all together.
(gentle music)