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-Has that guy responded? -I just spoke to him. Just now.
-Says he'll pick it up tomorrow. All good. -Okay.
You can start on that Dutch bike. It has a flat tire.
-Front or back? -I'm sure you can figure that out.
Okay. By the way, I ordered those new airbags.
Okay, cool.
Oh shit. I gotta go. See you in a bit.
Eddi, stop! Down!
Eddi, come here!
Luna!
Luna, what… Come here.
-Luna, come here. What are you doing? -Sorry. He's full of mischief today.
If she's pregnant, he'll have to pay child support.
Then Eddi will get to see the pups on weekends.
Every other weekend.
Deal.
Sorry again. No idea where he gets that from.
I think it's just something dogs do.
Like scratching their ear with their hind leg.
I do that too sometimes.
I need to get going.
If you ever need a nice photo of yourself and Eddi,
I'm a photographer. Just stop by.
-Cool. -Cool.
If you ever want a nice bike, I own a bike store on Skalitzer.
Cool.
Hello?
Hi. This is Jan. I'd like to book a photo session for my dog Eddi and me.
When are you free?
Tomorrow. I'm free tomorrow.
Tomorrow's cool.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
BLAME THE GAME
-Who was that? -Doesn't matter.
MISSED CALL
-Hey. -Hey.
You know, I wanted to serve you a romantic breakfast in bed.
But?
It seemed like too much work.
-What? -It's the thought counts that counts.
No! Sometimes what counts is a romantic breakfast in bed.
All right.
Okay. Wow.
Hey! Good morning, you two.
You'll get something soon. Soon.
Maybe we could cook something tonight?
I'd love to, but I'm meeting some friends tonight.
There's no chance you could possibly reschedule?
Not really. Our game night is sacred.
Game night?
It might sound a little silly, but it's sort of a tradition for us.
Okay. And do you guys play for money?
Like blackjack, poker, strip poker…
No, more like Monopoly and Uno.
Okay.
You know what? Just come along.
Then they'll meet the reason they haven't seen me in weeks.
Or we can just stay in bed for another 100 years.
I can't cancel.
-They're like family to me. -Family, huh?
Now I really feel like coming along.
Yay! Family!
-Come on. It'll be fun. -Yeah?
Wow. My best mate is going to a game night.
-You've become very old very quickly. -Yeah, it's a bit strange.
But I can roll dice and play with some silly pieces. It's chill.
Yeah. I don't know. Where is it?
Grunewald.
-What? -In Grunewald.
-In Grunewald? -Yes.
Dude, there are no chill people there.
I mean, they've all already won at the Monopoly of life.
-Sure, good for them. -Yeah, good for them. But not for you.
Dude, you'll be sitting there, surrounded.
"Is he right for our Pia?"
"No high school cert? What?"
"Oh God! He and his best friend grew up in those huge apartment blocks!"
Understood. "Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go."
That's bullshit.
No way. That's exactly how it will go down. I swear.
Dude, it's just a game night. What can go wrong?
At a game night in Grunewald, everything can go wrong.
Read up on the rules, or you'll make a fool of yourself.
-What exactly are you doing? -Testing the airbag, man.
And how is it going?
It's supposed to inflate!
Will her best friend be there?
It's actually at her place. Her name is Karo.
Okay, good. Then you need to get Karo on your side.
Bring her a gift. Give her compliments. Nice hair, nice decor, nice house…
Goes down well with those people.
-Maybe I'll just cancel. -What?
I can just meet Pia tomorrow. Who cares.
Jan.
"He who doesn't play has already lost."
Lukas Podolski, I think.
Pia says I should bring a game.
Great! I have one for you. Best game in the world.
I'll bring it over later. And you…
You don't look very Grunewald.
-What do I look like? -Marzahn.
Today, I'm excited to introduce something special,
the classic board game, Monopoly.
We all remember it from our childhood.
Some of the biggest family arguments start with Monopoly.
If you're not familiar with the game, I've created this short video…
Hello, my friend. Eddi! Hi!
Look here.
This is the game. And this is the gift for Karo.
An airbag? A bit pricey, isn't it?
Yeah. Grunewald style.
Not the broken one, right?
Hey, how stupid do you think I am?
Eddi, yes, come here! Hey, buddy.
So, "Who's Most Likely To…"
I've taken it to a few festivals. It's always super fun.
-It's a great way to get to know people. -How does it work?
There are questions,
and you have to guess who would most likely do that thing.
Like this, for example. "Who's most likely to pee off a bridge?"
Well, you.
What? No. You, of course.
Okay, and then?
It doesn't work with just two. You need more people.
Wow. Great game.
-Right? -Awesome.
-Great. I knew you'd like it. -Thanks.
Yeah, Eddikins.
-Hi. -Hey there.
Hey.
Ready?
Yes.
-Okay. -Yes.
-Where's Luna? -With a dog sitter.
Well, the neighbor's daughter.
Okay. Cool.
This is our trophy.
I'm defending champion, in case you were wondering.
Okay. Wow. You guys take this game thing pretty seriously, huh?
Absolutely.
What did you bring?
This? Nothing much.
So your family will at least be a bit impressed.
Okay. So who will be there? Your best friend…
Karo. We've known each other since kindergarten. Here, that's Karo.
Karo studied design
and runs a super successful furniture shipping business.
Here, this is us on Crete. We go once a year.
Karo's married to Oliver. He teaches at a vocational school.
And that's baby Emma.
-Cute. -Right.
If you keep scrolling, you'll see Sheila.
Sheila is a pharmacist. I've known her since kindergarten too.
Relationship status? It's complicated.
-Her? -Yes.
Okay. And that's everyone?
Yes. Wait, no. Kurt. Kurt will also be there.
This guy?
No. I don't have a picture of Kurt.
Kurt is Karo's brother, and dear me…
He's been in college forever. And lives with them.
It was only supposed to be for two weeks. But two weeks turned into six months.
Kurt is a bit…
A bit…
A bit what?
You'll see.
Here we are.
They really did win the Monopoly of life.
Nothing.
May I?
Yes.
Evening!
Hello, Mr. Fieper.
Game night again?
-Bingo. -You're playing Bingo?
Oh. No. By bingo, I… Never mind.
Please let the Hoffmanns know wild boars are roaming the area again.
They've ravaged half my lawn.
Hey!
Good evening, Mr. Fieper.
Was Fieper bothering you guys? What a freak.
Hello.
Ta-da! Karo, Jan. Jan, Karo.
-Hi. -Welcome.
Thank you.
Well, shall we?
Amazing house. Really. Almost as big as my apartment.
This foyer, I mean.
You do what you can.
-Did you get your hair done? Looks great. -Doesn't it? Thanks.
-Can I? -Sure, it's actually for you.
Thank you. What is it?
-Should I? -Yeah.
It's this new type of airbag. You put it around you when riding a bike.
Around you how? Where?
-Jan owns the bike shop, remember? -Yes, you said. Funny.
Hang on. May I, please?
May I?
Please.
Okay.
How do I… How do I get it off again?
Oh my God. I'm so sorry. That's only supposed to happen in an accident.
Got it?
Oh my God. Sorry.
Hey, we can fix it. Shall we pop to the bathroom?
Yes!
You just go ahead. And take this with you, okay?
It's all good.
Karo.
Karo, wait, I'll help….
Who went and changed… We have a system! Unbelievable.
Hello.
Hi, I'm Jan. I'm here with Pia.
The two of them had… They had to do something.
Okay. Wrong place though.
Idiot. Hi, come on in. I'm Sheila.
Just kidding. I'm Oliver, hello.
-Kurt. -Hi.
But friends just call me K.
Nobody calls you K.
But it would be cool if people called me K.
Well, then. Hello, K.
The holy grail's going right over here.
Pia may have won last time, but today we have no mercy. No messing around.
Pia mentioned something like that.
Come in. Have a seat. Make yourself at home.
Thanks.
As I was just saying to Karo, it's a really amazing house. Congrats.
You do what you can, right?
And Karo has a furniture shipping business, right?
Business must be great.
Sure. But I also contributed to all this, you know.
-And you? You have a bike store? -Yeah, exactly.
Is that lucrative?
Hey, don't be so materialistic. I think he's great.
He's relaxed, he's funny… I feel good when I'm with him.
Then I guess he hasn't put an airbag on you yet.
And what games do you like?
More strategy board games or quick-and-dirty card games?
No idea, I don't know…
-Okay. -Maybe Settlers of Qatar?
Catan, you mean?
-Because Qatar would be a state-- -Right.
--…in the Persian Gulf. -Yes. I mixed them up.
I see. I thought so.
Qatar.
-I brought a game too, by the way. -Oh, let's see.
-Never heard of it. -Me neither.
Right, so you have these cards and--
Well, I'm into fantasy role-playing games.
I am the Elf King of Toraca, by the way.
By the way, Jakob quit.
From October, I need a new Chief Visual Content Designer.
Or rather, a new Ms. Chief Visual Content Designer.
End of story. You'll do it.
You can't keep puttering around in your studio aimlessly.
I'm in an exhibition next month. With some cool women artists.
But that won't buy you a mansion.
If you're serious about Jan, you'll have to be the breadwinner.
How long have you two been together?
One month exactly.
Well, I've been with Zora for five years now.
You were.
I am.
-We're just taking a break. -Sure.
Where are you? He's already here.
Will you give me your number?
Yes? Sure, I can do that sometime.
Now?
-A bit of wine? -Yes, thank you.
Okay, 0-1-7-1…
3-9-2-0-0-9-1.
Number checks out.
Hello, yes?
Hello. It's K.
Hi, K. My, what a surprise.
Kurt, leave him alone.
So, where are you hanging out?
I'm sitting in front of you.
Why are you asking?
That's not me.
Sorry, I've got to take this call.
We'll be here all night.
Just a sec, Alex.
A bike shop?
All right, now.
Tell me, buddy. How long do I have to do this?
-Do what? -Walk around the park with Eddi.
Oh. Well, it took six years for him to get me a date.
Yes. I'd be happy if he just went ahead and did his business.
How are things there?
It's all a bit weird. But dude, the way they live here. Massive mansion.
Really? Sick. Do they have a pool?
I didn't think to look.
They'll have a pool, for sure.
Hold on.
No, I can't see one.
Indoors then, by the sauna and the gym. That's where it'll be.
What? Is there a tennis court?
Helipad?
No, man. A bird!
A plane? They got a plane?
No, dude. A real bird. A fucking parrot or something. It just flew out the window!
What are you talking about? Are you high?
Here. Come here. Come to me. Yes, here.
-Yummy. Come here. -Are you talking to me?
-Jan, do you need me to come? -Come!
Are you in danger? If so, say "jam sandwich."
What? Dude, no. No jam sandwich. The fucking bird is in the tree.
Okay, I got you. Understood.
Eddi, come.
Hello?
Come here.
Come here. Come.
Come here. Yummy. Hey, look here. Look at that.
Asshole.
-Now we've earned a little wine. -Oh yes.
Oh! Did you get lost?
Don't get too close to me.
Didn't you find the others?
No, I did. I was just on a quick call here in the hall.
-Is it all okay again? -Yeah.
-Sorry again. -It's all good.
-Yeah? -I'm glad you're here.
Come.
I hope you're all hungry. I spent half the day in the kitchen.
But everyone will be distracted again!
"Bread and circuses." Even the Romans knew that. Or was it the Greeks?
Yes, but bread. They never mentioned guacamole.
Yum. What did you put in there? It's delicious.
Avocado. The rest is a secret.
Cheers.
"Avocado" comes from Aztec and means testicle.
Thanks for sharing.
Zora loves guacamole.
My girlfriend.
Yes, you mentioned her.
Well, ex-girlfriend.
-How many times? We're taking a break. -It's been six months.
-Shall we? -Okay, let's go.
As usual, we'll start with Activity.
May the best one win!
And may I be the best one.
Good luck.
It's a ritual.
Cool.
Where we first met.
-Park. -Yes!
With dinosaurs in front.
No idea.
-Dino Park? -No, you know this.
Okay, Jurassic Park. Never mind. Um, I'm allergic to this.
Nuts?
I've been snacking on nuts this whole time. I can't be allergic.
If she were allergic to nuts, she wouldn't be eating them.
-Kurt. -Fish. She's allergic to fish!
Jaws. Next one. Oh, you know this. Smooch… bloop.
-Stop! -Titanic!
Everyone knows that.
-My favorite movie. -What, really?
Zero, nil, nada, niente. Too bad.
Sorry. I'm too stupid for this game.
If I have to lose, I'll lose with you.
Man, I'm getting jealous watching you. I remember when Zora and I were--
Okay, next round. Whose turn is it?
Ours.
Hola. Emma is sleeping now.
Thanks. Then you can call it a day.
-Or maybe join us? -I'm sure she has other plans.
Have a nice evening.
Sí. Have a nice evening.
-Hossa, eh? -Hossa?
Hossa. That's what they say in Mexico.
It must be a huge help to have an au pair.
Yeah, but I mostly take care of the little one myself.
Well. The other day Emma called Gabriela "mom."
What? They were playing house at the time.
Anyway. In any case, Emma is very keen on her.
Just like you, right? Hossa.
Please. I've already got my hands full with Helmut Kohl.
Oli has a bird named Helmut Kohl.
A cockatoo. I used to have another called Angela Merkel,
but Helmut Kohl pecked her to death.
Fucking patriarchy.
You see, birds in cages often grow aggressive.
That's why our Helmut Kohl is free to fly around the study.
So never open that door.
And, just theoretically speaking, if he were to fly off,
he'd come back again, right?
God, I don't want to think about it. So many cats around.
Helmut probably wouldn't survive very long.
That would be terrible. I love Helmut.
They came to my studio once. It was so cute.
Enough talk about birds.
You can never talk enough about Helmut Kohl.
He's the cockatoo of German reunification.
Not bad.
-Where's the toilet? Bathroom, I mean. -Down the hall, around the corner.
-But sit down. Kidding. I don't either. -You're impossible.
I do. I always sit down.
Nice. You scared him off with cockatoo talk.
Yeah, or you did with your Zora drivel.
-Let's take a break. -Yes, let's take break.
Jan!
Thank God you're alive, man.
Of course I'm alive. What are you doing here?
You said, "jam sandwich."
The code word?
What? Dude, I said, "no jam sandwich."
Yeah, and "no jam sandwich" contains "jam sandwich."
Yeah, dude. But also "no." You understand? "No."
Where's Eddi?
I gave him a rubber bone and put on the movie Beethoven.
Since you're here, look for that damn bird.
-What? What damn bird? -A cockatoo, man.
It flew out the window. It's flying around somewhere.
-A real cockatoo? -Yes, a real one! It's white.
Okay, challenge accepted.
Jan!
What?
-What sound does a cockatoo make? -No clue.
"Cockatoo"?
-Cockatoo! -Cockatoo!
-Yeah, higher. Like, cockatoo. -Cockatoo!
How would I know? Download a bird app. One that makes bird noises.
Yeah, cool. You can count on me, man.
Oh yeah? Like with the fucking airbag?
Why? What happened?
It inflated!
It's supposed to inflate. It's an airbag!
-Forget it, man. -All right.
-Hey Siri. -Yes?
What sound does a cockatoo make?
I'm so sorry. I got lost.
No. Todo bien.
All good.
Sorry.
That's the way upstairs.
Did you make the food?
The two of them don't have much free time.
It was delicious. Thank you.
I'm leaving now.
Gabriela, we need more guacamo…
I got… I got lost. I was actually…
Down the hall, around the corner, I said.
This is down the stairs, along the hall, last door on the right.
I went too far, I guess.
The guacamole.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Shall we go on playing?
Yes.
Watch this. Bam, bam and…
-Boom. -Okay.
You've been blocking me the whole time. Perhaps I won't give you a job.
-Ha ha. -A job?
Yes. Pia's going to work for me as Chief Visual Content Designer.
-Really? -You're giving up the studio?
Please. Nothing's been decided yet.
When you have kids, it'll be hard to advance your career.
Maybe Jan doesn't want kids.
Maybe it's also a bit too early to talk about that.
-Have you guys had sex yet? -Are you serious?
How about we just keep playing.
-My turn? -Yes.
I'll get that.
Who could that be? Hopefully not that freak from next door.
-Can you play? -Yeah.
Bam. Yes.
Okay. Watch this.
-My apologies, but I just won. -Not bad.
Okay.
Look who it is!
Evening, everyone.
I'll just do this.
Hello.
-Matthias. -Mat.
Jan, hi.
Hi.
-Jan and Pia have already had sex. -Kurt.
Okay…
That's it for the icebreaker, I guess.
Sorry, I didn't know you'd bring someone new.
I hope that doesn't make things awkward. With your ex suddenly here.
-Honestly? -Nonsense, not at all.
I brought something for Emma.
-Is the cutie already asleep? -Yes, thankfully. I mean, sadly.
-I'll put it by her crib. -Very kind of you.
-She can enjoy it tomorrow morning. -Thanks.
-Are you all crazy? -Did you know about this?
-What if I did? It's my house. -My house.
-Ours. And Mat's our friend. -Most important, he's my ex-boyfriend.
Right.
-You mean your ex-- -Kurt, come on. Leave it, seriously.
I'd be happy if Zora were to turn up.
I guess that's where we differ, then.
Oh God, I'm… I didn't know about this. I'm sorry.
Should we leave?
I don't know. What do you think?
Okay, this is a stupid situation, but let's just make the best of it.
We're all adults, after all.
Plus, I'm going to him next week. So he'll take it all out on me otherwise.
Mat is our dentist.
-Not mine anymore. -But you saw him just recently?
It was an emergency.
Good God, she's cute!
-Just like her father, right? -Yeah, such an angel.
-Have a seat. -Thanks.
How's my sweet Luna?
Good. She has a new best friend. Eddi, that's Jan's dog.
We bought Luna together.
-Or rather… -Rescued her, right? Yes.
-Cool. -Yes, she's our baby.
I'll get more wine. Come with me?
-Ah, a nice spot of wine… -No, I'll get the wine.
Did someone win?
Oh man, sorry. This is a complete disaster.
Maybe we should just leave?
Won't that look like I'm chickening out?
Does that matter?
Karo's right. We're all adults. It won't be that bad.
Is there anything else I should know?
You already know more than you need to.
All good?
You know? For that, we're gonna drink Oli's most expensive wine.
-Do you know anything about wine? -Do I look like I do?
I think this one looks expensive.
Excellent choice.
When I cook, the kitchen looks like an absolute pigsty. But Karo…
Another ex-boyfriend?
Ha ha.
I'll get it.
They're here again.
We invited them over.
Not them. The wild boars. There's one in your yard.
-I doubt it. I just fixed the fences. -I'm quite sure--
Why don't you have yourself a quiet night in front of the TV for once, Mr. Fieper?
Good night.
So the neighbor is watching the yard. I guess you need to watch out for him.
Oh, he's got that nicely summarized.
-Probably a cat. -Let it be.
You said yourself that there are a lot.
-You're impossible. -I apologize.
As long as they don't walk on the wet concrete.
-Wet concrete? -The foundations for the playhouse.
Oops.
Tell me. What happened during Activity?
-Pia and I were always unbeatable. -All good.
Jan was a bit slow on the uptake. But well, he prefers "Settlers of Qatar."
Like, "Monopolo."
Just kidding, Jan. Just kidding.
Yeah, keep your chin up.
If you've been friends as long as we have, there are lots of inside jokes.
On vacation, we'd spend the whole night playing Activity.
Yes.
That reminds me. We need to book the holiday home.
I spoke to Papadopoulos. It'll be gone otherwise.
Crete. In Greece. We always go there as a group.
Why don't you come?
I don't think we need to plan right now.
Okay. All right.
Okay, look. Trivial Pursuit.
-Okey dokey. Time for general knowledge. -Yes.
And what was your major?
Nothing. For 16 semesters.
Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to…
Did you go traveling after graduating high school?
That was my dream.
-It came between graduating and I. -Me and graduating.
-Yeah, that's what I meant. -It's fine.
-Jan has an amazing bike shop. -Wow.
I need a new bike. Maybe I'll stop by sometime?
-Can you make a living off that? -Yes.
Fortunately, there are enough dentists you can hawk overpriced e-bikes to.
Are you good with your hands? You could help Oli with his playhouse.
I don't need any help. It's solid as a rock.
Oops.
All right. Replenishments.
-Would anyone like some? -Oh, what is it now?
-Is the salsa spicy? -A bit.
All right. I'll be the quiz master, okay?
-Yes. The newbie goes first? -Okay.
May the best win.
Okay.
Ah, okay. That's Science and Nature.
"What is ascorbic acid more commonly known as?"
Aspirin? I don't know.
Vitamin C. Can you say "aspirin" again?
No.
Ah, yes. Number 32 has a cavity. Someone should take a look at that.
Call me directly, otherwise you'll wait six months for an appointment.
-History. -History.
"What year was the Berlin Wall built?"
-Came down in '89 and… -Yes.
Well?
'63.
Close. '61.
Mat knows everything!
-August 13th. -What was that?
What time?
What… You and Zora. Why did you end up taking a break?
Well… Thank you for asking.
Zora just wanted a bit of distance.
Like, supposedly I didn't give her enough space.
But I think in the long run, this will strengthen our relationship.
-What is…? -Do you have a picture of her?
Yeah.
Hey, we shouldn't encourage this.
Here. That is her.
She posted this to her Insta two days ago.
That blouse was a gift from me.
These are the little secret signals she's sending.
Yes, probably.
-She looks nice. -She is.
Last online at 2:17 a.m.?
Yeah, okay. Probably couldn't sleep, poor thing.
Or she was out partying.
Yes.
Maybe. To take her mind off things because she misses me.
Maybe you shouldn't stalk her on WhatsApp.
What do you mean, "stalking"? This stuff just shows.
-Anyway, she's my girlfriend. -She was.
Just delete the number.
Look. I've been working on this text for a while. What do you think?
I don't know. Maybe it's a little too intimate?
Is this still that same message?
Yes. I reworded it again a bit…
Where is it?
Did you just send it?
Huh, what…
What? No, I… I didn't even touch it!.
-You sent it. -I didn't!
I wouldn't have done that if I were you.
-Okay, maybe I can still delete it? -Sure, but then she'll see…
Then… she'll see that I deleted the message.
Shit! Oh man.
Why did you do that? It was a draft! It had super embarrassing stuff in it.
-I didn't touch it. -Who did then?
Oh man, Jan, I mean…
If you'd deleted the number, it wouldn't have happened.
Right. Now it's my fault, as well.
Sheila.
She'll calm down.
Jesus.
I'll help you.
Modolorogin? What's that?
It's a stimulant.
Well, as a pharmacist she's got easy access, right?
-Wow. -Crazy.
Quit that!
Shall we keep on playing?
Yes. Good idea. Chin up, Jan. Everyone fucks up sometimes.
Jan…
Okay. Arts and Literature.
Right.
"Which collection of poems made Charles Baudelaire famous?"
No idea.
Les fleurs du mal. The Flowers of Evil.
Bravo, correct. Pronounced correctly too, by the way.
The pining lover bends toward his beloved
like a dying man caressing his own tomb
Bravo.
That doesn't rhyme. He was a bad poet.
Do you remember? Montparnasse. We once visited Baudelaire's tomb.
And then it suddenly started to rain,
and we had to run into a café absolutely dripping.
The waitress brought us hand towels.
We drank champagne, and… This is what you wrote.
"Thank you for the lovely day."
-With a heart emoji! -Yes.
Yes. With a heart emoji.
Geography?
"What's the capital of the Bahamas?"
Nassau.
We went there, too.
Of course.
Here, one second. Wait.
Boom.
Okay. Cool.
You can't be serious.
That's where I taught Pia to surf.
Nice.
Yeah, wow. In the photos everything looks super great.
Yeah. Golfing too. And…
Can you drop this bullshit?
-Wait, what? -Can you drop this bullshit?
That's when I proposed.
Surely Pia told you that we're engaged.
Were engaged. What…
You didn't know?
Sorry. I didn't mean to make things awkward.
Well, it is a very awkward situation. For Jan, I mean. And for Pia.
Okay. Come on. Let's forget it. Kurti, Oli?
I just dropped the die.
So maybe just pick it up again?
Where could it be?
I can't find it. I guess we'll have to stop with the game. Too bad.
-No. Kurt. -We'll just get another one.
Come on.
I'll roll for you, or we'll never get anywhere.
Okay.
"Which song by Rio Reiser was covered by the band Echt in the year 2000?"
I don't know. I only listen to metal.
Maybe Jan knows? Come on, you know this.
"King of Germany"?
Not even close.
Hey, Pia, what kind of guy did you drag along?
-Hey, where's the guitar? -Yeah? Okay.
Guys. Not the guitar as well. Come on.
A little support.
-Maestro. -Gracias.
Come on, guys. Music will loosen things up.
For sure.
I can understand you being angry.
Strictly speaking, I never said yes to the proposal.
Then why didn't you just tell me?
Because it didn't mean anything.
And?
Well, Zora is online, but she hasn't read it yet.
Sorry again. Even though it wasn't actually me.
Guys, come on. Don't be party poopers. Get up. Come!
The world is looking up at my window
With tired eyes, all dusty and shy
I sit up here…
-Mat is our rock star. That shreds. -…on my cloud
I see you approaching, but you go on by
JAM SANDWICH!
But it doesn't hurt anymore No, it doesn't hurt anymore
Everything's quiet And no storms riot in me when I see you
I'm gonna get some fresh air.
It's over, bye-bye June moon…
-Should I come? -No.
Alex needs help. I need to make a quick call. Okay?
It's over, bye-bye…
"Mat is our rock star."
Alex?
-Yes? -Where are you?
In the neighbor's yard.
What are you doing there?
I'm just hanging around.
Alex?
Here. Up here.
-What the hell? -Exactly.
That stupid bird came over here. And suddenly, "whoosh."
Now you know what a wild boar feels like.
Hilarious.
You may undo the rope. Over there.
Yes, but carefully!
It's over
It's over, bye-bye
How are things in there?
Complete disaster. Now Pia's ex has shown up.
-What? -Yes.
What does he want?
Pia.
Then punch him in the mouth.
Yeah, I'm this close.
Or kick his ass in the games.
-Who's doing that shit singing? -The guy.
Then punch him in the mouth real soon, man.
…bye-bye, June moon
It's over…
-I thought maybe you had left. -On the contrary. I am here.
That'll be a bonus point for sure.
And I think we're all agree. In Trivial Pursuit, Mat is unbeatable.
Next game, the Saga of Toraca!
Do we have to?
Yes, we have to.
We haven't played Jan's game yet.
Yeah. I'm sure that's also great. What's it called?
-"Who's Most Likely To…" -What?
Maybe let's just start. It will become clear as we go, okay?
-Do we need pens? -Yes.
Okay.
-Sheila. -Yeah.
I'll sit up here.
-And now? -Now you take one card from the deck.
"Who's most likely to drink the others under the table?"
-I see. You write down the name? -Exactly.
Everyone done?
And turn them around.
Why did you write me? Because lesbians always drink? You drink a lot more.
-Like, when? -Like, always.
There's nothing wrong with a spot of wine now and then.
Even calling it "a spot of wine." I also wrote you.
Me too.
Kurt, you live in my house. I expect a bit more respect.
-In my house. -In our house.
I also wrote your name, my friend.
Oh yeah?
-Wow. Okay. -Look, Karo wrote me down.
I'm cool with it.
If I didn't have a career and a child, I'd drink more too.
By the way, Karo offered Pia a job. What was it?
Chief Visual Content Designer.
That's amazing.
-You see? -Take it!
Why don't you let her decide for herself?
I think someone can't handle his girlfriend earning more.
Who would that be?
Janni, it was a joke.
Okay, what's the next step?
Oliver got the most votes. That means he has to drink a shot.
Strange game, but okay.
Guys. She read the message.
Oh God. Now I need a drink too.
Okay. "Who's most likely to have burnout?"
Ready?
Flip.
Working lots doesn't mean I'll have burnout.
Yeah, I also work a lot. A whole lot.
And our relationship really suffered from it.
Yeah? Tell us. Was that before or after your trip to the Bahamas?
Both, actually.
In particular our sex life suffered a lot because of it.
At first, we couldn't get enough of each other.
We were basically fucking day and night, everywhere.
Mat, this isn't the place.
Are there pictures of that, too?
Pia, I never apologized to you.
Pia.
If you lose a beautiful, fascinating woman like you,
you've messed up.
Really messed up. And I am sorry.
It's in the past.
But it's nice of you to say it again here in front of everyone.
Okay, then let's move on. Or did you want to recite another poem?
By the way, a new archaeological museum has opened on Crete.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
I don't know if Jan is interested in culture.
I'm sure you can bike there too.
Thanks. I do have interests other than cycling.
Such as?
Collecting antiques, for example.
The Boccelli bike.
-Bottecchia. -Right.
A bike?
I've got a bike too.
"Who's most likely to be admitted to a psych ward?"
Oliver.
-Hey now! -True.
Yeah, you and your role-playing thing, that is a bit…
If therapy can fix it, please, by all means.
If you guys would come to a role-playing event,
you'd understand the fascination. But okay, forget it.
Wearing ridiculous costumes and fighting orcs?
I don't get what's fascinating about that. Next card, please.
"Who's likely to play table tennis naked?"
Naked, yes. But I can't play table tennis.
And you should also look good naked.
I can play table tennis, and I look good naked. Right, Pia?
Come on. Next card.
"Who's likely to overcome a predator?"
Jan. Jan could do it.
Jan can definitely subdue dogs.
Yeah, but dogs are a whole different game from lions and tigers.
Okay, let's see.
Are you guys serious?
That wimp?
I'll give you the tiger pelt to lie on naked.
Nobody thinks I could do it because…
Don't be silly.
Yes, don't be silly.
You guys notice anything? I'm only picked for the shitty stuff.
Boozing, psychiatry… Fighting wild animals is for other people, right?
-Not the fat, stupid teacher. -Nobody can defeat a predator.
-Seriously. Calm down. -I'm sick of you all seeing me as a loser.
-That's nonsense. -It's not! No one respects me anymore!
There's a moocher in my house, and my wife sides with him!
-In my house. -In our house!
Oli, come back!
Who does he mean by "moocher"?
Emma?
Or Gabriela?
Oli, come back!
Your game fucking sucks, Jan.
Why don't you sing a song about it?
Get a grip now, both of you.
When this loudmouth keeps provoking me?
-Oli, you can't be serious. -Leave me alone.
Oli, take that off.
Leave me alone!
Oli, please.
Just look away, then.
Well done. Now you've really got one foot in the psych ward.
Oli, what is this?
Forget Oli. I am Ogandur, the almighty King of the Elves.
Yeah, laugh it up, you guys.
But I can turn stone into gold and talk to plants and trees.
And at the events, my subjects kneel before me in droves.
I'll stand. You're embarrassing us in front of everyone.
That's your biggest fear, isn't it? That I'll embarrass you.
That the facade will crumble. The oh-so-perfect Karo,
who can run a company and be there for her kid around the clock
while keeping house on the side and telling everyone what they can do!
I'm sorry I'm not content to settle for mediocrity!
All of that ensures that we lead a very nice life!
Where I hardly ever see you
because you have to pop pills just to function!
The pills were for Karo?
-They fell out of your bag. -Yes.
Why are you hiding this from me?
Patient confidentiality?
I bet she didn't hide our sex problems.
We don't have a sex problem. We simply don't have sex.
Okay, here's a quiz for you. Why do Oli and Karo not have sex anymore?
A. Because she's tired.
B. Because her brother is nosy and inquires the next day.
Here's a hint, you can choose more than one answer.
Is that why you keep hanging around Gabriela?
What are you two doing down there anyway? Does she kneel before you?
-That's not… -Please.
She wore your shirt earlier. The one from Mardi Gras.
Pop quiz. How did it end up down there?
A. It flew there by itself. B. You took it off down there.
Here's a hint, it's B!
Giveth way!
-Oli… -Ogandur.
-But Oli… -Ogandur!
-I hadn't heard anything. Really. -What?
EAGLE HAS LANDED! STUDY, NOW!
-I didn't know how bad things were. -Oh, sweetheart.
I'm fine. Really.
I know how it can be. Back then, with Zora--
Just give it a rest!
Hey, I got it. All good.
My God, you're the best, Alex.
Yeah. This is Gabriela. She's an au pair here.
Super funny story. I got lost, and suddenly I was in her kitchen.
It happens.
Yeah. Gabriela makes the best guacamole in the world, man.
She has a problem with her bike. The chain keeps coming off.
-I'll fix it. All good. -Fine. Can I please have the bird?
Yes. Here.
-Here. -That is not the cockatoo.
Are you sure?
That's a normal fucking pigeon, man. Of course I am sure.
Okay. Do you think he'll notice?
Will he…
Alex, let that poor thing go and find the right damn animal, okay?
-Please, man! -Yeah, sure. Okay. Yes.
SAGA OF TORACA
I, Ogandur, King of the Elves, shall now begin my journey to Toraca.
Follow me, or thou shalt forever remain in the realm of the ignorant.
Monopoly?
Number five, you enter the magic fortress. I'll fight the troll.
He can't be serious.
-Where were you? -I have one more question.
Watch out! There are orcs behind you. Orcs at nine o'clock.
Did you call me a loudmouth earlier?
I'm sure he didn't.
Yes, I may have. Yeah.
Okay. Then we've got ourselves a bit of a problem.
I don't like being called a loudmouth.
Not by anyone.
And certainly not by a bicycle-selling loser like you.
I'm sorry. I didn't know that.
You loudmouth.
Apologize!
No.
Guys, you two make up now, okay?
This is annoying. Let's play Monopoly.
No, I won't let this slide.
I'm calling you out.
-Let's settle this like men. -You want to duel me?
Yes.
In table tennis.
And of course he chickens out! You are such a loser.
If there was a table, I'd kick your ass so bad.
We have a table in the basement.
And I have an idea that's much better than Monopoly.
At first glance, it's a draw.
This is my first time seeing a dick in 20 years. Haven't missed it.
As far as I'm concerned, this is unnecessary.
You better cheer on your Jan. Or would you rather let him dangle?
Dick jokes. How original.
Matthias to serve.
Hang on, what are you playing for?
I thought it was for Pia.
Not funny.
The loser downs a bottle of chili sauce. Or is that too extreme for you?
-But Matthias can't handle spice. -Precisely.
No. No problem.
Okay then.
-Anyway, I'll win. -The loser downs a bottle of chili sauce.
Yes!
1-0, Matthias.
Did I mention I used to play in a club?
No, that's the one thing you haven't yet bragged about yet.
2-0, Matthias.
I'd hoped for an opponent, not a victim.
Bam!
Yes!
10-3 to Matthias.
Seven match points.
That looks like castration.
He's down to the last ball.
You all right?
Point for Jan. 10-4.
10-5.
10-6.
10-7.
Fuck. Come on!
Who's the victim now? Come on.
11-10.
Match point for Jan.
Wouldn't you rather use a new ball?
-Yes! -No!
Victory to Jan!
Yeah! Yes, man!
Looks like the victim just won, eh?
Yeah! Yes!
Yeah, baby.
Jan…
I wouldn't do that.
Remember my piri-piri chicken? You had it coming out of every orifice.
Message from Zora.
I won't open it now. Or she'll think I'm just waiting--
Jesus, just look at it.
Yes, alright. "I'll call you in a bit." And a smiley.
But not the normal one, the red cheek one. That's a good sign, right?
Signs are often not what they appear.
I would have done it too.
But I won.
I actually barely feel anything at a…
Who's the loser now?
What's wrong with you? I'm not a fucking trophy!
Go check on him.
-You'd rather I help him? -Fine, I'm going.
-Watch out! There are orcs behind you. -You're so annoying!
Do you need help?
No.
Here. Try this.
Maybe you'd better lie down.
-He didn't just drink the milk, did he? -Yes.
I'll gladly buy you a new one.
You can't buy it! You can only pump it.
This is the worst game night ever. And I put so much effort into this.
Well…
Gabriela did the cooking. So what?
You want to hold that against me?
No, but why pretend that you did? Is that how things are done in Grunewald?
Hey!
How do you know anyway?
Yes, Jan. Tell us how you ended up in her rooms
as she came out of the shower.
I got lost. So?
You took several wrong turns tonight, regardless of what you were looking for!
Yes.
-Where are you going? -What's all that about?
Also this dick-measuring contest with Matthias.
And I don't mean that figuratively. You were literally comparing your dicks.
It's not my fault that your ex-boyfriend…
Sorry, no, your ex-fiancé showed up.
Anyway, he started it.
Oh, "he started it." Tell me, are we in kindergarten now?
-No, we're at a fucking game night. -Which always used to be great fun!
When I wasn't there?
Sorry that I don't fit into your perfect world of the rich and smart.
What are you saying?
Everyone here won at the Monopoly of life.
And there are no bike shops in Monopoly.
So what? No photo studios either.
Yeah, that's why you're going to work for Karo soon.
Then you'll be able to afford a fucking yellow street at least.
You really did take a wrong turn somewhere today.
-I thought you were more relaxed. -I usually am.
But you had to drag me into this fucked-up game here.
And by the way, I don't collect antiques. I just have an old bicycle on my wall.
Pia.
I'm so sorry about everything.
But our kiss the other day, it got me kind of confused.
And ever since then, I…
You kissed Mat?
Why didn't I know that?
Was that the emergency?
That was before us.
Well, before we were properly together.
Wow, okay. I'm really learning so much about you today.
Alex, forget the dumb bird, we're getting out of here.
Good evening.
But, like, beautiful yard.
Hi. Hey.
The playhouse… It's…
It's no longer there.
The statics, probably.
Bird? What bird?
Fuck.
Yeah. You can say that again.
No. My key is gone, man.
My girlfriend is gone.
Kind of a shitty night for all of us, huh?
Oh shit.
I probably lost it when I was caught in that damn trap.
You can't be serious.
It was somewhere around here, wasn't it?
Strange.
What?
The net I was caught in earlier.
It's gone.
Oh God! Fuck!
Yeah.
Now you also know how a wild boar feels.
"Desperately seeking my umbrella cockatoo Helmut Kohl."
Exclamation point.
-Why didn't you tell me about the kiss? -Yes. Why?
I don't know. Because it didn't mean anything.
-A kiss always means something. -A kiss always means something.
-You're annoying. -You're annoying.
Maybe you should hold back from giving relationship advice.
Okay, wow. That was mean.
You all behaved terribly tonight.
Yes, but so did your Jan.
Yes.
Leave Jan alone.
He let Helmut Kohl fly off. Idiot.
And you invited Matthias. What were you thinking?
He said you two might still have a shot. After the kiss, that is.
I wanted to help him.
That's also why you only drew cards he was prepared for in Trivial Pursuit.
You noticed that?
I'm not an idiot!
She's not an idiot, or Jan wouldn't be with her.
And now?
Now nothing.
-What if that guy comes? -What if he doesn't?
You think he'll shoot us?
We didn't work our way up just to be shot in Grunewald.
Don't be stupid. He won't shoot people. He's hunting boars.
Yeah. And what if he shoots first and looks later?
I'm still young. I've got my whole life ahead of me.
The shop is in the black for the first time this year.
Why now of all times?
What do you want me to say? I just left the woman of my dreams.
If I get shot now, Pia will never know how I feel.
-That sounds serious. -Yes, it is.
Then we need to get out of here now, bro.
-I think you have to shift over here. -Not like that.
Alex, that won't…
Guys, where is Mat?
Probably hugging the toilet. Serves him right.
Matthias?
Pia.
-It's me. Don't hang up. -Put it on speaker.
I wanted to tell you one thing.
I love you.
And it just hurts me that you are with this loser.
Hey, jerk. Honk one more time, I dare you!
I'm a dentist!
Pia, you deserve better.
Me!
I'm your king. I'm a fighter.
And for you, I'd even defeat a tiger.
Yes. That's what I'm going to do now.
I'll put a bow on it and gift it to you. Pia!
I'm a predator!
Don't be stupid. Maybe just drive home and sleep it off.
Turn left in 800 meters, then you'll be at your destination, Zoological Garden.
-What is he doing at the zoo? -Matthias?
-We… -Matthias?
Don't hang…
Hey. Can you reach my phone?
-Where? -In my pants pocket.
Okay, let me try.
-More to the right. Right. -Here?
No! That's left.
Oh, oops.
Shh!
Fuck.
Please! Don't shoot!
-What are you doing in my yard? -We can explain.
-He lost his key here. -What's his key doing here?
I wanted to catch the cockatoo
so my pal wouldn't lose the woman of his dreams.
He said jam sandwich on the phone.
-We've had a really lousy evening. -Yes.
Just let us go. We won't tell anyone you shot the bird.
I didn't shoot it.
Here. It's just tranquilized.
A cockatoo wouldn't survive long. We have a lot of cats around.
Half an hour, and he'll be up and about. Is it yours?
No. It belongs to Mr. Hoffmann next door. But can I take it?
-Fine by me. -If you could just…
Oh, right. Of course.
But carefully!
-Hey! -Hey.
Is that Helmut Kohl?
Yeah, but don't worry. He's just taking a little nap.
Come in. I've got the place to myself. We can hang out a bit, as pals.
Got the place to yourself? Why?
Everyone else went to the zoo.
But I was there only the other day, so I said I'd stay here.
Hang on, K. Why did they go to the zoo?
Because of Matthias, of course.
I'm lost. Why did that guy go to the zoo?
And what does this have to do with my game?
I'll explain later, okay?
You can ride with me, Jan.
Thanks, K. That's all right.
What an idiot.
Do you mean Mat or Jan? Or Oli?
-I can hear you. -I know.
-Just as long as you two stick together. -I thought so too, before tonight.
-Yes, I should've told you about the kiss. -All this sucks.
Give me that stuff now.
I don't like you taking those things.
-Or you giving them to her. -I agree.
Those are just placebos anyway.
You kept wanting more, so I switched them out. I won't let you become a junkie.
You all just think I'm some messed-up workaholic.
That's nonsense. I have huge respect for what you've built for yourself.
But I don't want to work at your company.
I'm so glad. I just can't see you working a real job.
Real job? It was a well-meaning offer between girlfriends.
It sounded more like a command.
But you know, I just want to do my own thing.
I'd rather photograph cats and dogs,
even if they pee all over my studio in excitement.
That's also why I'm with Jan, by the way. Was with him, I mean.
Because he pees everywhere in excitement?
I'm K, by the way. Jan's best friend.
Okay.
No, just K. No O.
Holy shit.
Pussycat!
Mat! We're coming!
Oli? Goddammit.
Are you serious?
Matthias? Are you there?
Guys!
He was here, anyway.
Mat?
This can't be happening.
Hey.
-What are you doing here? -I wanted to talk to you.
And you think I want to talk to you?
If we didn't have to go rescue Mat…
I would punch you in the mouth so hard.
Yeah, fair enough. But we found Helmut Kohl.
-Seriously? -He's in your study. He's fine.
Sorry again.
My God, that's… Honey, Helmut Kohl is alive!
Hey sorry, but is that…
Guys, is that puke or… Because it kinda looks like…
Breast milk.
-What a-- -Shh!
Do you hear that?
Shit, he's really down there.
Face-to-face with the beast.
Holy shit.
Matthias!
Sorry guys. If you climb into a tiger enclosure, you get eaten.
-Hey, listen… -Sorry. Too bad. Natural selection.
-I'm going in to get him out. -Are you nuts?
-I won't get eaten. -Famous last words.
It's Zora. I have to take this.
-Why do men always have to play hero? -I have something to atone for.
Right. Go and atone. Goodbye. Thanks, best friend!
Hey, watch out. Be careful.
Don't lose your grip, okay?
He's really doing it.
Matthias?
Matthias.
Jan?
Come back up.
Fuck. Focus, man.
Come on! Come!
Give me your hand. Hey!
Climb up!
Hey. Keep going.
I can't.
Why are you standing around? Do something!
-Okay… -Like what?
A rope? We need a rope. Yeah.
Jan. Hang on. We're going to find something to pull you up, okay?
Pia, just in case I'm about to get eaten…
I'm sorry tonight went so badly. But I was so nervous.
And when Matthias showed up, I thought I would lose you.
And that's why you turned into Matthias 2?
Well, you did kiss Matthias 1 again.
That was a mistake.
But I can't undo it. Anyway, maybe there's an upside.
At least now I know there are absolutely no feelings left.
Unlike with you.
Jan.
The tiger is right behind me, huh?
Okay.
-I've got a rope! -You're the man! Where from?
From the monkeys. I promised them I'd bring it back.
Jan, here!
Grab hold!
Come on now!
And pull!
And over…
Careful.
-Man, oh man. -There.
-Dude. -You all right?
-Almost lost my best friend. -You're nuts, seriously.
What's going on here?
I thought you were in there.
Yeah, I wanted to go down there, but then I felt so sick again…
-Careful, somewhere around here, there's… -Yeah, there.
Anyway, I went to get a bottle of water from the machine over there. And…
Have you guys seen my phone? I took a selfie over there earlier.
You really are a loudmouth.
Yes. And you sing like shit.
Who are you anyway? I--
Kurti!
Thanks, K.
Thank you.
I'm also sorry, by the way.
-It's all right. -Yeah?
It was pretty entertaining, in a way.
You think?
Oh God.
Yeah, come on. Don't look. Let it go.
This is why my shirt was at Gabriela's, by the way.
You dance together?
Yeah. It was supposed to be a surprise.
For our anniversary.
You always wanted to dance the paso doble with me.
She says I'm doing well, considering I have no talent.
How about you attend dance class with me,
and I'll come along to your next role-playing event.
Okay. Agreed.
-I'm coming too. -No. We're doing this alone.
And you're going to find your own apartment.
Maybe Jan has a room available?
No. We need our privacy.
Thank you so much. To shower without him filming…
What now?
Well, we could keep playing?
Okay.
But at my place. And without the others.
Zora says hello.
She was too cowardly to properly break up with me.
-Now I've broken up with her. -Oh no. I'm sorry, darling.
It's all right. You should feel sorry for her for losing me.
-Totally. -Stupid of her.
Absolutely.
Yeah, and thank you for sending that text. At least now it's resolved.
It was me. I knew it would be best for you.
Can we go to the monkeys? I have to return the rope.
-Not today. Another time, okay? -Sure.
-Okay. -I'll call you. I have your number.
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Hello!
Hey! I thought you were going to your game night.
Yeah. But I didn't feel like going without you.
Good decision. It's all nonsense anyway and doesn't lead to anything good.
I'm happy you're here. I'm just making an ome…
-…let. -Surprise!
Sorry, but you're just part of the gang now.
Your apartment really is smaller than our foyer. Wow.
-I'll have an omelet too. -Mat will be a little late.
It was a joke.
Okay!
May the best one win!
And may I be the best one.
Okay, we'll start with Trivial Pursuit…
Subtitle translation by: Kel Berksdale, Diana Renker