Downloaded from YTS.MX
(curtain swoosh)
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(logo swooshes)
(gentle acoustic music)
(phone rings)
Thaddeus Moncrief.
(Thaddeus chuckles)
I wondered when you were gonna call.
Yes.
I'm, I'm just applying the finishing touches
to it as we speak.
I'm very pleased and I think you will be too.
Yes, yes, I'll I'll leave it
outside the front door as arranged.
Just put the money through the letter box.
Yes, I understand.
I have no interest.
Halloween.
Hello?
Hello!
(gentle acoustic music)
(tense dramatic music)
(gentle jazz music) (people murmuring)
That's me, then.
Mate, I'm just gonna get a round in.
- Yeah, I said I'd be home half an hour ago.
I've got an audition.
See ya.
Charlie, just be careful out there.
Who'd want to hurt me?
Well, you never know.
Aw, take no notice, Charlie.
He's had one too many shandies?
Yeah, hand shandy more like.
- Yeah. (laughs) - Oh yeah, well.
Leave it.
I'm going for a slash anyway.
(owl hoots)
(suspenseful music)
(owl hoots)
(tense dramatic music)
(Charlie gags)
(upbeat jazz music)
(dispatch mumbles)
Jennifer.
Officer Reeves.
Nice to see you again.
(dispatch mumbles)
Well, they're collecting DNA samples.
The guy's throat was cut
and the word next written on his forehead,
and there's no fingerprints.
Sounds like Pumpkin Head struck again.
It's like the murders in Peterborough in London,
but it's like a ghost.
Yeah.
I dunno how we're gonna tackle this one.
Oh, that XDI Dan Hawk's in town.
- [Detective O'Neal] I thought he disappeared.
He's into psychic shit.
Yeah, he's an author now.
He wrote the Pumpkin Head books
and he's doing a signing this morning in town.
Looks like it's meant to be.
Maybe we've got some questions for him.
Well, what we doing sat here?
(engine revs)
(gentle jazz music)
- Book sightings are always busy to begin with
and then there'll be a lull like this.
You know, don't worry.
It'll pick up in a moment, I promise.
(gentle jazz music)
There you are, look.
Told you so.
Even the local constabulary is interested.
- Well, well, well, if it isn't Dan Hawk Psychic Detective.
O'Neal
I thought I recognized you.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
Where were you yesterday and last night?
I was in London.
I traveled down here early this morning.
- And what about the day and the night before that?
What is this?
Just answer the questions.
- I was in Peterborough doing a book signing,
the same as in London and here.
If I was the killer,
it would be a bit stupid of me
to kill people in the same town
I was doing my book signings in, wouldn't it?
He has got a point.
Let's go somewhere.
- Just spoke to the Met Police in Peterborough.
They're gonna send over what they've got so far
and they're happy for us to deal with it from here.
- So unless I'm the murderer-
- Which I think we've established that you're not.
Somebody's traveling around the country
to your book signings.
And killing someone in each town
in the hope of pinning the deaths on me.
Who knows?
Could be.
Not forgetting whilst dressed
as your book character creation.
Although that's not confirmed
with the murder on the marsh last night.
There was no witnesses
Kind of fitting though,
as my books are set mainly on the marsh.
I'm not too familiar with them.
How are the victims killed?
Well, their throats were cut,
but there's no fingerprints.
It's a bit like your books actually.
So you are familiar with them then?
- [Detective Reeves] Yeah, a big fan actually.
- In fact- - Look can we
get back to the case?
Sorry.
Um, well, the difference being is
that the killer writes next on the victim's foreheads.
But we assume they don't mean the shop.
We don't know that for sure.
Why are you telling me all this?
Look, to be honest with you,
we've got a lot of cases going on down here
and seeing as you wrote the books-
You want me to take on the case.
Well, unexpected but as I'm down here,
I'll have to run it past my wife.
If you need any help, here's my card.
Okay.
You've got a deal.
I usually like to work alone, but I'll keep it in mind.
Reeves will be with you some of the time
as a sort of babysitter.
Thanks for the thought, but um...
I'll speak to Briggs
and I'll get you reinstated for this one-off case.
Super Briggs.
He still works here,
Afraid so.
I'll ask Reeves to get you your badge.
And gun.
- Okay, but as long as you get this psycho, Hawk,
any which way you can.
I'll be careful, I promise.
Just this case.
I feel responsible, that's all
I understand.
We've been over this.
I'll try and help you when I can.
- Becky-
I don't blame you for what happened.
Signal's going now.
(phone rings)
Dan, good to hear from you.
I never got that postcard from Spain, by the way.
How's the UK book tour going?
Well, it was going okay.
Oh yeah.
All those grizzly murders,
all dressed up as your creation too.
I couldn't have pulled off a better publicity stunt myself.
Great for book sales though, love.
The book tour is temporarily postponed.
I'm gonna stay putting Folkestone,
might save some innocent lives.
Bloody hell!
Well, at least it could cure your writer's block
and it could be the next Mr. Pumpkin Face novel.
How many times?
It's Mr. Pumpkin Head, not Face!
Yeah, only kidding, only kidding.
Good news about the movie rights though.
And guess who they're looking at to play Mr. Pumpkin Head?
Oh, hopefully for a local actor.
Jessica Hynes, Ken Connie, Michael Gervais, Ben thingy.
And if not, I don't know you, uh Ewan McGregor,
Ricky Gervais.
No.
[Detective Hawk] Kate Winslet?
- Only Gavin Lloyd-Goldstein III.
(tense music)
[Photographer] Gav!
One more, Gav.
(camera snaps)
Gav, is he all right?
(camera snaps)
You're fucking kidding me.
No, it's great.
It's the part he was born to play.
Well, that's what he says anyway.
It's not bloody great.
The man's a liability.
He drinks like a fish and fucks like a stoat.
Well, that's what he says anyway.
I don't understand
why they can't just cast somebody locally.
Look, it's always the way, love.
They've gotta spend the budget somehow.
I must dash.
Keep me posted and drop by the office sometime.
I mean, I haven't seen you for ages.
Ciao.
Ciao, bella!
Ciao.
Dan, there's someone here to see you.
A detective Reeves?
Thanks, Pippa.
I'll be right down.
[Pippa] Okay.
[Detective Hawk] Thanks, Pippa.
[Pippa] Cheers.
[Detective Hawk] Thanks.
Just dropping these off.
[Detective Hawk] Oh, that was quick.
I know, you gotta sign for them first.
So do you need to lift anywhere today?
- [Detective Hawk] Well, I wanna see the murder scene
of the victim on the marsh,
but until I can get a car sorted.
- It's all right, I'll drop you down there.
Oh yeah, babysitting.
Actually, that would be really helpful.
We're not all dicks down here, you know.
[Detective Hawk] Pippa.
[Pippa] Yeah.
- I need to stay down for a few more days, is that okay?
Yeah, that's fine.
Actually, I'm going away for a couple of days,
so can you look after the cat for me?
Great, yeah.
Cheers, Dan.
Nice to meet you, Detective Reeves.
And you.
Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm quite chilled
when it comes to overnight guests.
Right.
I'll be in the car.
[Detective Hawk] I'll get my coat.
Why?
You haven't pulled.
- [Detective Hawk] Sometimes size does matter.
♪ All because of a stupid risk ♪
♪ Now I'm seeing stars ♪
♪ I'm seeing stars ♪
- The body was found about a hundred meters
down that way on the right,
throat was cut and the...
Oh!
Is there something?
I have a sense of humor
And he's off.
Sorry, we're not open yet.
It's all right.
Just, uh...
- Ah, it's about pool old Charlie, ain't it?
Bloody terrible.
He was in here the night he died.
I sensed he was.
Hold on.
I know you.
You're that psychic writer, ain't you?
Dan Hawk.
You write those Pumpkin Head books.
Oh God.
I'm a big fan.
I've got every single one. (laughs)
Yeah, I recognize your face off the back cover
That's me.
I've been called in to work on the case.
Uh, this is uh Detective Reeves.
Yeah, well, I suppose it makes sense.
After all, you did write the books.
- So what time did Charlie leave here last night?
About 11:15 I'd say.
- See or hear anything strange outside afterwards?
Not to my knowledge, no.
[Detective Reeves] Anyone else here?
- Just a table of locals, you know, a bit of banter.
Okay, thanks.
That's it for now,
Cid.
Yes Cid.
Yeah, could do me a favor?
Could you come back at some point and sign my books for me?
I'll try.
Thanks.
- Oh, what happened, if you don't mind me asking?
Oh, Falklands.
♪ I told you that I could turn it on by ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You see right through me ♪
- [Detective Reeves] So when was the last time
you did a full day's work then?
[Detective Hawk] Last night.
- [Detective Reeves] Well then, you've got nothing
better to do.
[Detective Hawk] Well, we make it so.
[Detective Reeves] Oh God.
(tense ominous music)
[Becky] Dan!
Dan!
Jesus!
Thanks, love.
(tense suspenseful music)
(cat meows)
Brian!
(cat meows)
(upbeat music)
Morning.
I'm Ross Norman and welcome to Comic Con London.
I have with me Gavin Lloyd-Goldstein III.
A week ago it was leaked that he would play Mr. Pumpkin Head
in the movie franchise of the books of the same name.
How do you feel?
Well, what can I say?
It's perfect casting,
the role I was born to play.
Awful news about the murders though
and somebody dressing up as the character you'll play.
Yes, yes, of course.
I'd first like to start by saying thoughts
and press to all of those we've lost along the way.
Hashtag murder is wrong.
But it wasn't me!
But in all seriousness,
just because I'm a a method actor doesn't mean to say
that I need to kill in real life
in order to know what that feels like.
You know, as I was saying to, to dear old Bobby DeNiro,
not so long ago, dinner at the Ivy.
I said, "Bobby, Bob, it's called acting."
Would you say this is a comeback
after playing the '90s TV show "The Cad"?
I never went away, my dear.
Oh yes.
Those beer commercials.
Still drinking the profits?
No, no.
Let's not dwell on the past.
I'm very excited about my first starring role
in a picture at aged only 29.
- Would you call yourself an actor's actor?
What a good question.
Do do you mind?
Thank you.
You know, I hope to utter the words one day
of the late great Alan Swan, who of course said,
"I am not an actor.
I..."
Bollock off.
Sergeant O'Neal, it's Dan Hawk here.
Mr. Pumpkin Head paid me a visit last night.
(upbeat music)
Sorry, we have to meet here.
Super Briggs thought it'd be best if we meet off premises
for the time being.
You all right, Detective?
A little rattled after last night,
as you can imagine.
I wish I'd never written the damn Pumpkin books.
Should have stuck to the psychic ones instead.
- Talking of which, I don't mean to doubt you,
but if were psychic, wouldn't you have sensed the danger?
Well, I've come to the conclusion
that the reason my psychic ability hasn't kicked in is
for one reason and one reason only.
What's that?
We're not looking for a ghost.
This person's real.
Oh, disappointing or what?
- But what about the fact no one can find any fingerprints?
- I'm sure we'll find some reasonable explanation.
As this isn't psychic, do you want me off the case?
No way.
You're involved now.
Do you want me to send a patrol car past your house
in case it happens again?
I think they were trying to scare me.
This person has killed three times now,
which makes them a serial killer.
Just need to find out why.
- It's almost like we have to wait 'til they kill again.
(gentle ominous music)
[Becky] Dan!
Dan!
Sorry, sorry.
As Reeves might have said,
we checked out the pub on the marsh
where Charlie Green was last seen alive.
No joy there.
There just aren't any leads.
Hawk, are you sure it's not a ghost?
(upbeat music)
[Detective Hawk] If the murderer
was following my book tour.
Which you've now postponed,
- [Detective Hawk] Then surely they'd stay near
to Folkestone where I am.
We've put out a press release
to warn people to be more vigilant.
You can't really miss someone wearing a huge pumpkin head.
You'd think
Your books have a lot to answer for.
Next time why don't you write about kittens?
Thanks.
I needed that.
[Detective Reeves} Sorry.
- I still think there's a connection between the victims
and not just random targets.
Call it a psychic hunch.
(phone rings)
Did you know that was gonna happen?
(phone rings)
Okay.
I'll be right there.
Well.
Hmm.
I've been summoned by royalty.
Briggs wants to see me down at the sty.
(gentle blues music)
(Detective Hawk knocks)
Come in.
Sit down.
You're only working this case
'cause O'Neal convinced me to let you.
I'm fine, thanks.
How are you?
I'm giving you the opportunity here
to write the wrongs you made
by writing these bloody books in the first place.
Do you think I'd have written them
if I thought for one minute that some nut job
is gonna start slaughtering people?
I don't know the answer to that.
What I do know is we have a building full of cops here
that would kill to be on a case like this.
And some of them are pretty pissed off.
[Detective Hawk] Got my badge back.
I want results.
Get out there and get them,
if you think you can handle it.
- As long as I don't listen to you, I'll be fine.
But then I've got nothing left to lose this time, have I?
(intercom buzzes)
- [Receptionist] Don't forget your two o'clock massage.
Oh, I hope you get a happy ending.
(dramatic music)
I know where Becky is.
- This is your psychic nonsense again, isn't it?
We are wasting valuable time.
Trust me.
- I've sent a team in an ARV to the suspect's home.
That's where they're holding Becky.
- So you don't think she's at the warehouse where she works?
No.
No, no.
Look, just don't do anything rash.
You gotta fucking right, Briggs.
(door bangs)
[Police Officer] Arme police!
She's not here.
Christ!
I knew it.
Let's hit the warehouse.
(gentle brooding music)
Dan.
Dan, you can't go in there.
You can't.
Where's Briggs?
You bastard!
(gentle brooding music)
Becky.
(glass crackles)
What the fuck do you want?
Well, it's not trick or treat.
I want your keys.
What?
Keys!
(phone rings) (upbeat music)
Hello?
(upbeat music)
(Detective Reeves knocks)
The station just rang me.
Said someone called for you, gave an address
and then said something like, "I am he.
I am thee," or something.
That's a quote from my books.
Let's do this
(TV announcer murmurs)
- [TV Announcer] Sunday at 9 PM only on BS1.
Fuck it!
- You can say I'm not having a very good day.
(tense ominous music)
I'll get the sandwich.
It's always too much bloody mayo when you do it.
All right, go.
(tense ominous music)
There's a cue, you know.
[Collins] I don't cue.
[Waitress] What will it be, sir?
An avocado and tomato on rye.
A stick up, please.
(upbeat rock music)
(phone rings)
Hawk, sorry to take you off the case.
We've got a hostage situation.
- Haven't you got anyone else that can cover it?
No.
He asked for use specifically.
You should be flattered.
Maybe he heard you were back.
- [Detective Hawk] It's not Pumpkin Head then?
Didn't say who it was.
It's just a hostage and the hostage taker.
Do we know who the hostage is?
- Local prominent business tycoon Arthur Montgomery.
Shit!
Where is he?
I presume you know who I am.
- Why do you think I'm pointing a gun in your face?
Who are you waiting for?
Detective, slash author, Dan Hawk.
Hmm.
Now look here.
I feel that I should warn you
I don't want your money.
I want Dan Hawk here now!
(gun cocks)
You took your fucking time.
Do I know you?
- No, but you know my girlfriend Avelyn Waters.
Don't you remember?
She murdered your wife.
I'm Bob Collins.
- I'm sorry, but what on earth has that what to do with me?
I'm glad you asked.
If you don't release my girlfriend from prison,
I'm gonna blow his fucking head off.
You might wanna rethink that.
You see what most people don't know
about Arthur Montgomery is...
(Collins groans)
- He's ex-special forces
After you, Mr. Hawk.
(Collins groans)
I did try to warn you.
Sit tight.
I'll get the staff back in.
- Mm, well, I did only come in for an avocado
and tomato on rye.
Shop!
Shortly on the house.
[Collins] Ah!
[Detective Hawk] Okay.
Huh!
Okay, thanks Kerry.
Well, the victim's name was John Reece.
The forensic say he didn't die straight away.
He managed to crawl a couple of feet
to pick up the rolled up magazine.
Probably to use as a weapon.
Same cause of death though.
Cut to the throat
and next carved in his forehead.
- Only this time a bit of the murder weapon gets lodged
in the victim's forehead.
We're waiting on the post-mortem results.
What I don't get is
why the murders have started this week.
I mean, what triggered them?
I've been writing these books for a few years.
A crazy fan?
Someone jealous of your success?
(gentle brooding music)
Dan!
Hawk, you all right?
Sorry.
Yeah, I don't know both are a bit cliched.
But maybe it's got something to do
with the film rights being leaked.
I mean, that was about a week ago.
Yeah, but why?
- How about I do another book signing locally again?
I mean, I mean it might flush them out.
I don't know.
Could end up a real blood bath.
- I do the same bookshop as before, late afternoon.
We can get a surveillance team
at strategic places around the bookshop.
Any sign of Pumpkin Head
and you guys can be in there like a shot.
I don't now.
I don't like it
and Briggs will like it even less.
Briggs wants results.
He told me that himself.
All right, I'll get it set up.
Come on, let's smash this Pumpkin.
Can't believe you just said that.
I know, me either.
(gentle upbeat music)
(phone rings)
Vic Barkley Limited.
Very limited.
Hey Vic.
How's it going?
Been away.
Just got back.
Couldn't be better.
Book sales are going through the roof.
How are things down in, oh, Midsomer?
Don't joke.
They've killed again.
Almost killed me.
Bloody hell.
We can't have that.
Well, not yet anyway.
You'll be glad to know
I'm doing another book signing tomorrow,
only this time-
That's my boy.
Oh, by the way, Goldstein is on board
to play Mr. Pumpkin.
Head.
Fucking great.
So the best they can come up with is some actor
who used to be in some '90s TV show,
and who's been pissed every since.
But what a show!
(upbeat music)
Bloody bounders!
What a show.
- Look, Goldstein is itching to get on the publicity train.
But how about I send him down?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It could be dangerous.
But then again...
- I'll get the movie company to plonk him on a train
first thing in the morning.
Yeah?
Ciao.
(Detective Hawk sighs)
God, I'm good.
Bloody damn good.
Hmm.
(gentle acoustic music)
[Becky] Be careful, darling.
(gentle acoustic music)
Get in Hawk.
We want a quit word.
This is cozy.
I'm Detective Black.
Don't tell me.
You're Detective White
And you're Dan Hawk, the psychic.
Couldn't make it as a cop.
So you left Folkestone to become a writer
And swans back here on his own pleasure
and takes the biggest case in the last 20 years
from under our noses.
Briggs said it would piss people off,
but he gave me this case.
- If you're looking for a bit of redemption now
by writing books-
- Which may or may not have had people killed.
Writing these books was my therapy
after what happened to my wife?
Just ask Briggs.
I suspect he doesn't wanna talk about it.
- You're go nowhere-
Not withoutsigning our books.
(Hawk laughs)
- You pair of fuckers. - Had you going a little.
I almost shit in my pants.
Hey, sorry to hear about your wife.
And don't worry about Briggs.
He's a prick anyway.
You buckle up.
We'll take you to the book shop.
(upbeat rousing music)
Zebra one in position,
(upbeat rousing music)
Zebra two's in position as well.
(upbeat rousing music)
[Detective Coogan] Just life up, sir.
[Gavin] Mm.
[Detective Coogan] And forward.
- Uh-huh.
[Detective Coogan] Okay.
- [Detective Reeves] Broadsword calling Danny Boy.
Thank you, Richard Burton.
Ah, Dickie.
You sure I'm perfectly safe?
I've got a voice over in Soho tomorrow morning.
There's a cavilon strip in there.
It's just a precaution.
I hope you're insured from the neck up.
[Gavin] Hmm.
Please don't drink too much.
That's your fourth.
Who's counting, dear boy?
Besides, "One requires a little bit of lubrication
for this sort of work," as the actress said to the bishop.
Boop!
- Gentlemen, we've got a good machine on the case
and several trained officers on the roof overlooking us,
so we'll be, we're okay.
Oh, do I get a gun?
Ah no, sir.
Please let me get out of here.
Am I in your way?
[Detective Coogan] You're fine.
Oh, Hot Wheels, is it?
Damn.
It's Cid, isn't it?
Sorry, I keep meaning to pop back
to the pub and sign your books.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
I've saved you the trouble.
I've got 'em here.
I saw last night on the local news,
you had a book signing today, so.
Oh great.
Oh, this is Gavin Lloyd-Goldstein III.
Now you may have read that he's on board
as playing Pumpkin Head.
The star of TV's "The Cad."
That's right.
Would you like me to do my catch phrase to you?
Maybe later on?
Would you mind signing my books for me as well?
Of course, I'm used to it.
You know, as dear Burt Reynolds said to me once, he said,
"Always be nice to the little guy
because without them you're nothing."
Acting, you see.
Any chance of a A selfie?
- Yes, of course. - Yeah.
Oh great, sir.
[Detective Reeves] Sir, there's a figure
approaching the shop.
I can't see if it's a man or a woman.
They're they're all in black
and they're carrying a large bag and (indistinct).
Oh shit, it's a large Pumpkin Head.
Okay wait, I'll be right there.
(tense suspenseful music)
[Cid] It's a new phone, you see.
(tense suspenseful music)
Fuck!
Hold it right there!
(Detective Reeves yells) (tense suspenseful music)
I'm Karen Clarke.
I can explain everything.
Oh, (indistinct) trigger on that thing.
Reeves, read her rights.
Get her to the station.
- [Detective Reeves] Karen Clarke, I'm arresting you
for the murder of John Reece.
You do not have to say anything.
But it may the harm your defense.
Congratulations Hawk.
Looks like your plan worked.
Yep.
It looks like we got her.
After you.
- Superintendent Briggs and Detective Hawk have
just entered the room.
So what were you doing in the bookshop?
You don't have to answer that.
I work for an agency.
They hired me to wear a pumpkin mask
and do something for like a book launch or something.
For fuck sake, did they give you a name?
Palmer, wheel your neck in.
You're only here to observe.
I can't really remember.
It was, it was Vic something, Vic Barkworth, Barkley.
I don't now.
If you don't believe me, just call the agency.
That won't be necessary, Miss Clark.
Interview terminated at 16:30 hours.
Hawk, what the hell are you doing?
Vic Barkley is my literary agent.
How's your gut feeling now, Briggs?
I'm sorry Miss Clark.
Someone will drive you home.
Fuck sake.
Can I go home now?
All right, let's clear the room.
(upbeat rousing music)
Dan Hawk.
Treva Parkinson here from the Kent Bugle.
Yeah, what can I do for you?
- I understand you've apprehended the Pumpkin Head killer.
No, he hasn't, unfortunately.
Fake news.
So they're still out there.
All I can say is yes.
I intend to nail the son of a bitch somewhere or another.
(Detective O'Neal knocks)
It's open.
Come in.
Looks like you've rattled Briggs.
It's been onto forensics to release the steels
of the rolled up magazine
John Reece had in his hand
They said page six would be of interest.
Looks like Reece has circled something.
So John Reece was an actor then.
Looks it.
We checked him out on IMDB.
Goldstein is on the front cover.
Any actor with kill for that part.
Or die for it.
Well, they all had day jobs.
It looks like all the victims were actors.
There was almost one more today.
Goldstein was attacked on his way
to the train station by Pumpkin Head.
He was interrupted by a passerby.
Thankfully, he was still wearing
his stab-proof neck guard,
stabbed Pumpkin Head in the hand with his keys.
Any CCTV?
- They always choose places with no coverage.
- Maybe they're in disguise before the attacks.
Now, where's Goldstein now?
He checked himself out of the hospital,
insisted on going back up to London.
So we sent him up there with a police escort.
- Any news on the piece of metal stuck in Reece's forehead?
Yes, had some words on it.
Most promising.
The rest of the words are probably on the murder weapon.
I'll be looking for an ornament or statue.
- I'll check the CCTV footage just in case.
- And I'll check if Goldstein got to London safely.
Yeah.
I mean if we're looking for a disgruntled actor
that didn't get cast as Mr. Pumpkin Head,
then Goldstein is a prime target.
Laters.
What does your wife make of all this?
I often talk to her about it.
- Are you sure you're not just talking to the trees?
- I thought you said you weren't all dicks down here.
(gentle acoustic music)
Better go.
(gentle acoustic music)
All right boss.
Bye now.
Love you.
And she looked at it squarely in the eye
and she said, "I'll take a pound and a half of that."
I bet she did.
Anyway. I better get back to work.
You take care.
Sorry to hear about your brush with death.
That's all right.
It's just a good job I learned Krav Maga on the show.
You know Jean-Claude Van Damme once showed me a picture.
I bet you did.
Thanks for the autograph.
Can't believe you did that big stunt.
Is that cockney rhyming slang?
(horn honks)
The transport's here.
AlL right, see you back at the station, Detective Fisher.
- Well, I suppose I should drain the old Monty Python,
and by Monty Python, I of course mean my penis.
I'll alert the media.
(gentle acoustic music)
[Bartender] There you go?
Cheers.
Hey there.
Sorry to intrude,
but you're that writing fella, ain't you?
Ah, I love your books, man.
Oh, thanks.
Hi.
What can I get you?
[Dwight] Half pint of Gatz, please.
No problem.
You must feel like shit
knowing that someone's taken on one of your characters
and they're going around killing people for real.
You have no idea.
Dwight.
Falklands.
Sorry to hear that.
Don't worry, I'm not bitter.
It's what we do.
We go out fighting a rich man's war
doing the government's dirty work.
Are you a member of Veterans for Peace?
You bet.
You see, conflict is usually about land,
stealing minerals or brainwashing people to your religion.
Blow the fucken place up
and then land some lucrative contracts
to rebuild it again after.
Do you happen to know the landlord
of the Shepherd's Hut Pub on the Marsh by any chance?
I think his name's Cid?
Cidney Heston.
I won't go there anymore.
We had a falling out.
He said it was something to do with a Falklands conflict,
and it just doesn't ring true.
Dwight, have a couple of pints on me,
In the words of the great Johnny Cash,
"I'm against the wars, but I'm for the warriors."
(music stops crowd applauding)
Okay, I'll sort that.
Any luck?
Well, there's no footage of Pumpkin Head
on any of the cameras,
but there is this woman in a headscarf
on the main road just before Reece got attacked
and just before Goldstein was attacked.
There's this person in a crash helmet a few roads away.
- There's not much footage from Peterborough or met police,
just a grainy video of a guy with long hair and a beard.
Well, this one.
[Detective O'Neal] Yeah.
They have all got the same backpack.
It's the same person.
(tense ominous music)
Well, officer, it's been a pleasure
to perambulate the streets of London with you.
Well, thank you.
[Pumpkin Head] Oh, before you go, sir.
Yes.
- If you wouldn't mind doing your catchphrase for me,
would you?
I'm a big fan of "The Cad"
and I'd like to film it on my phone.
But, of course, I should be delighted.
Always happy to give something back to the boys in blue,
if you know what I mean.
Oh, ready?
Bloody bounder.
Thanks.
You're very welcome.
Cheerio.
Now I've got one for you, sir.
[Gavin] Yes, go on.
(tense suspenseful music)
I am he.
I am thee.
(tense suspenseful music)
Shit!
(tense brooding music)
- [Detective White] You want a shot at redemption.
- [Detective Briggs] I'm giving you the opportunity
to write the wrongs you made
by writing those bloody books in the first place.
[Detective Reeves] Why didn't he write
something about kittens?
(gentle brooding music)
[Dwight] He said he was involved
in the Falklands conflict,
but I just didn't believe it was true.
[Becky] Dan.
Dan!
(Detective Hawk gasps)
He's an actor.
I thought you could do with some help.
(upbeat invigorating music)
[Detective Hawk] Cidney Heston
(upbeat invigorating music)
- [Detective Reeves] Normally get the other ones,
the boring ones.
(phone rings)
Hey Hawk, how's it going?
Yeah.
Good.
- Oh, by the way, DC Reeves has checked out
some of that CCTV and you're right.
The killer may have been in disguise
before he put the Pumpkin Head on for the killings.
I'll do you one better.
I think I know who it is.
Just gotta check a theory.
Now listen, O'Neal, I've gotta sort this mess out on my own.
And I don't want you, Reeves or anybody else to get hurt.
What?
Hawk.
Hawk!
(dispatch mumbles)
Control, ETA 10 minutes.
Gavin!
Hi, it's Vic, Vic Barkley.
Um, I can't reach you on your mobile.
I was just wondered why you hadn't turned up
for the voiceover this morning.
Call me.
Ciao.
(buzzer buzzes)
Is that my 9:00 AM massage?
No, Superintendent.
Detective Coogan to see you as you requested.
Oh, okay.
Thank you, Patricia.
Send him in.
(Detective Coogan knocks)
All right, boss.
So the Met called,
they said they sent a officer to collect Goldstein from you,
but you didn't show up.
Well, that's impossible.
I left Goldstein with a uniformed officer.
Oh shit.
By the way, Coogan,
every time you finish cause you say love you.
What's that about?
- I no idea what you're talking about, sir.
Very well, on your way.
Love you.
Yeah, this is Briggs.
(gentle jazz music)
Okay, let's do this.
Take me with you.
Okay, Becky.
(gentle jazz music)
(phone rings)
Briggs.
Hawk, Goldstein's been murdered.
What?
He had a police escort right to his door.
The killer was posing as the officer
that took him home.
Where are you?
- Look, I have a suspicion who the killer is
and I'm gonna head over.
Don't do anything rash.
- As I recall, the first time I took your advice
not to do anything rash, my wife was killed, remember?
I know.
And it's haunted me ever since.
Just trust me this time, Briggs.
Look, I'm sorry for what happened.
Hawk.
You said you wanted results.
I'm just gonna get you some.
(gentle acoustic music)
Hi Cid.
[Cid] Hi.
Sorry to drop in early in the morning.
I'm off up to London.
And I just wanna give you this.
I forgot to give it to you
at the book signing the other day after all that commotion.
Dan Hawk, you are a good man.
So you caught that killer, yeah?
Yeah in actually fact.
I'm off up to London to apprehend them right now.
I've got the evidence.
So long Cid,
and as the Eagles once said, "Take it easy."
(gentle brooding music)
(tense suspenseful music)
[Cid] Oh shit!
I don't usually like to quote The Sun.
But "Gotcha!"
(tense suspenseful music)
(string whirs)
(Detective Hawk groans)
No, I got you, babe.
I'm sorry I couldn't warn you.
No signal.
- You could take the mask off now. I know who you are.
Big fan of Chuck's in El, Cid, were you?
Cid Heston?
Exactly.
My real name's William Smith.
- Just a bitter actor that can't take rejection.
- You know I was a great fan of your books,
ever since I read the first one,
the character, he seemed to speak to me in some way.
I feel a "Misery" moment coming on.
Yeah, but in my books,
the victims always got what they deserved
because Pumpkin Head was sort of a vigilante.
Well, you see, that's not how I saw him.
I was very, very sad
when someone else was cast in the role instead of me.
So I decided to become himfor real!
No shit!
Carving next into the victim's forehead
was a nice touch.
Yes.
Yeah, I thought so.
One of those words an actor never wants to hear.
- Yeah. You managed to bump off the lead actor
after the second attempt, didn't you?
Oh, you heard about that, did you?
Yeah. (laughs)
I guess that I'm not in the frame then.
No, you never were.
You've got serious issues, buddy boy.
Oh, I know.
That's why I have to stop these books for good.
Hawk!
(Detective Reeves knocks)
Hawk!
(Detective Reeves knocks)
Hawk!
O'Neal, I'm at Hawk's.
Looks like he suspects Cid at the pub.
Yeah, all right.
Okay.
Bye.
I just wanna know one thing.
You were in disguise, weren't you,
just before some of the killings?
- A little theatrical makeup, costume here and there.
Yes.
Old habits die hard.
Mm.
Oh, you were looking for this, huh?
Please give me some credit.
I'm not that stupid!
No fingerprints.
Stage stunt gone wrong, was it?
They, they brought me back.
- Well, maybe you should have tied me to the chair.
(Detective Hawk grunts)
(tense suspenseful music)
Dan's car's just outside.
Well, the door's open.
I'm gonna go in.
[Detective O'Neal] Wait.
Okay, okay.
Oh yeah, it looks like some kind of fight in the cellar?
There's no one around here.
(sirens blaring)
- [Detective O'Neal] I'm code two. I'll be there in five.
Okay.
There's nothing here. I'm gonna check out the farm.
- [Detective O'Neal] Be careful, we're almost there.
Reeves.
Fuck!
(tense ominous music)
(sirens blaring)
(tense suspenseful music)
(gentle ominous music)
(tense suspenseful music)
This could be your last book.
I'm wondering how it will turn out.
I could be your ghost writer.
(tense suspenseful music)
(gunshots firing)
(sirens blaring)
[Detective Reeves] Dan
(Siren and screech of brakes)
[Detective Hawk] How did you?
I'm going to stick to writing.
Kittens, anyone?
Ghosts.
(Detective Hawk coughs)
[Detective Hawk] Sorry.
(gentle melancholic music)
(gentle jazz music)
♪ I've been away for a thousand years ♪
♪ I could've stayed, but I was bored to tears ♪
♪ There was nothing here except a seaside view ♪
♪ Nowhere to dance and nothing to do ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ We roamed around and got in fights ♪
♪ We got a plate, stayed out all night ♪
♪ But there was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ And now I'm back ♪
♪ Now I'm here in the old hometown ♪
♪ My marriage failed, so I now I'm on my own ♪
♪ I climb the cliffs for a bird's eye view ♪
♪ The same old same ♪
♪ They call it deja vu ♪
♪ I went away and I built a life ♪
♪ I married young ♪
♪ Didn't learn my wife ♪
♪ I liked my job ♪
♪ So the years slipped by ♪
♪ And now I'm old ♪
♪ And I wonder why ♪
♪ There's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing for me ♪
♪ There was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ♪
♪ So I disappeared ♪
♪ Heart attack ♪
Danielle Hawk, psychic detective.
It's a mystery.