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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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["It'’s Beginning to Look
A Lot Like Christmas" playing]
4
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,878
[inflatable deflating][song distorts, slow]
5
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[father]
I can'’t just manifest
a tree topper.
6
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:03,237
[mother] Okay. Okay.
You don'’t need to give every
example of what you can'’t do.
7
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,934
[father]
Why is this stuff so important?
8
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,414
[mother] Because!
9
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,198
It'’s been a hard year.
10
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,766
The move, a new school.
11
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,638
I mean, God, I just want it
to be special for Liam.
12
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:18,339
[father sighs]
I get it. I just don'’t know
where the tree topper is, okay?
13
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:22,256
I can'’t magically make a box
with a-a star appear.
14
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,910
And for the tenth time,
it'’s not a star,
it'’s an angel.
15
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,043
- Oh, an angel.
- Yes, it'’s an angel.
16
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:28,740
- Okay.
- And every year,
17
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,655
it sits
on top of the tree, okay?
18
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,397
And it looks down upon us
like it'’s a guardian angel.
19
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,878
Oh. [scoffs]
- A guardian angel.
- Yeah.
20
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,185
Well, maybe
we need a new one anyway.
21
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,665
The old one wasn'’t doing
that great of a job, was it?
22
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,712
Wow.
23
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,903
Okay, so it'’s just vanished.
It'’s completely gone.[sighs]
24
00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,383
Missing in action.
25
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:05,125
For once in your life,
can you just let it go?
26
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,430
- Yeah.
- For once?
27
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,215
- Can you do that?
- Yes, I can
28
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,347
when you admit
that you screwed up, okay?
How about that?
29
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:13,481
Oh, I get it.
As long as I take the blame
for every little thing that ha--
30
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:14,656
Hey, guys.
31
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:18,442
Wow! It looks amazing in here.
32
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,792
Thank you, honey.
Thank you.
33
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,229
I was just looking for...
[sniffles]
34
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,100
...for the tree topper
that your father lost,
35
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,537
and I just got a little bit
- of tinsel in my eye.
- Unbelievable.
36
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,409
But I'’m not crying,
because everything is great.
37
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,324
We'’re gonna have
a great Christmas.
[sniffles]
38
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,761
Tree toppers?
Come on, Mom.
39
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:37,461
Christmas isn'’t about
tree toppers and ornaments
and all that stupid stuff.
40
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:42,292
It'’s about togetherness
and music and...
41
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,252
Hey, guess what
I was doing upstairs.
42
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,514
What were you
doing upstairs?
43
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,255
Writing my letter to Santa.
44
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,126
- Really? You were?
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,780
Letter to Santa?
46
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:54,348
Aren'’t you getting
a little too old for that?
47
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:58,917
Oh, no, no.
What-What your dad means
is just that sometimes,
48
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:03,139
Santa is too busy responding
to letters
from all of the little kids
49
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,968
that then he doesn'’t always
have the time to respond to
the letters
50
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,317
from the big kids too.
51
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,450
No, that'’s not at all
what I meant.
52
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:10,886
Bill, just...
53
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:13,671
I'’ve always written
letters to Santa.
54
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,717
How else will he know
what I want for Christmas?
55
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,414
Exactly, honey.
56
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,373
I think
it'’s absolutely wonderful.
57
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:20,896
Not all of us are a scrooge.
58
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,768
No, I--
I'’m not a scrooge.
59
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,074
I just...
60
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:30,862
Look, I know how hard it is
being the new kid in town.
61
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:34,431
And as it is, school presents
challenges for you
because of your learning dis--
62
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:35,737
Differences.
63
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,305
Learning differences.
64
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,785
[Bill]
Right, learning differences.
65
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:45,660
Which is good,
but even more reason
not to write certain letters.
66
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,010
Because that way,
when you go to meet
other sixth-graders
67
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,098
and try to make friends,
68
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,665
you won'’t get, uh...
69
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,276
beaten up.
70
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,756
[sighs]
71
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:58,455
What are you saying?
I have a friend-- friends.
72
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,805
Really?
Well, I didn'’t know that.
73
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:03,417
Mom, I'’ve been at that school
for, like, three months.
74
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:04,766
Why wouldn'’t I have friends?
75
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,377
Just because of
social distancing.
76
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,467
Come on, Mom.
That ended two years ago.
77
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,600
And I do have friends.
78
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,472
My friend Gibby'’s
about one of
the most popular kids in school.
79
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,648
We play football at recess
and everything.
[chuckles]
80
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:18,823
Play football?
81
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,173
Yeah.
82
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,566
That'’s what I just said.
83
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,438
Nice.
84
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:25,526
[mother] Gibby!
85
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,614
Ow.
86
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:29,704
Gibby! Gibby!
87
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,359
I'’m so proud of you.
88
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,317
Why'’d you tell them
we play football?
89
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,927
We don'’t even have
a football team.
90
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,929
We'’re 11.
91
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:41,542
I didn'’t say we were on a team.
I just said we played at recess.
92
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,457
What kind of football
do we play?
93
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:48,244
[blows raspberry]
Flag football, I guess.
94
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,551
Plus, they'’re not gonna
waterboard us about this.
95
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,030
You don'’t know that.
96
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,032
Parents can be weird.
They like to know stuff.
97
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:56,731
What position
should I say I play?
98
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,082
You'’re the kicker.
99
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,868
Am I like the guy
who kicks it real high
100
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:07,263
or the guy who tries to
get the ball
through the things?
101
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,222
The field goal kicker.
102
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,313
Okay, cool. You know the game,
so we won'’t get tripped up.
103
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,577
Oh, and one more thing.
104
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:19,928
I also told them
you have cancer.
105
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,843
What? Why?
106
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,715
My parents know
I don'’t make friends easily,
107
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:28,153
so to make it real,
108
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,591
I told them I was nice
to a kid with cancer
109
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,375
and he was nice to me back.
110
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,421
But we are friends.
111
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,466
Why'’d you have to
make anything up?
112
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,296
[sighs]
Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
113
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,347
The point is,
if you meet my parents,
114
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:49,784
just make sure
you act a little cancer-y.
115
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,568
Will do.
116
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,442
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
117
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,226
Hold your horses, hotshot.
118
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,141
What do you think you'’re doing?
119
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,925
Um, crossing the street?
120
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,363
I'’ll tell you
when you can cross the street.
121
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,408
But there are no cars.
122
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,584
[gasps] When did you finish
123
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:11,066
your two-hour
crossing guard
certification course?
124
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,459
I didn'’t.
125
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,417
Oh, that'’s right.
126
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,897
That was me.
127
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,769
So I'’ll tell you
when there are no cars.
128
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,781
Go. Go ahead.
129
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,567
Mr. "I'’m In A Hurry At First."
130
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:36,004
Where'’d he go? Bring him back.
131
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,962
- Good morning, ladies.
- Hello.
132
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,790
- Hi.
- Hello.
133
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,488
[bell ringing][sighs]
134
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:45,927
There she is.
135
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,495
["I Want To Be Your Man"
playing]
136
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,714
[chattering]
137
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,863
Legit question.
138
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:12,083
Why are you staring
at someone you cannot get?
139
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435
What, Emma?
We have a ton in common.
140
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:16,610
Like?
141
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,787
We both like cats.
142
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,353
That'’s a ton?
143
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,617
We can build off that.
144
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,662
What'’s so great
about her anyway?
145
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,403
You only like her
'’cause she'’s pretty.
146
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,231
What? No.
147
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:32,582
I like her
'’cause whenever I look at her,
she smiles.
148
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:35,672
Big deal. Smiling'’s easy
when you have nice teeth.
149
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,848
And she'’s kind.
150
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,894
People that pretty
are usually mean.
151
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,635
Yeah, I guess.
152
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,593
She does have a lot of friends.
153
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,424
Pray for me.
154
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,861
No. Liam. Get-- Abort!
155
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,473
["I Want To Be Your Man"
continues playing]
156
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,042
[stammers]
157
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,350
I like the cat stickers
on your locker.
158
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:02,743
Thank you.
159
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,919
My cat licks her nipples.
160
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,139
Well, that'’s pretty random.
161
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,054
[chuckles]
Yeah, that was pretty random.
162
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,230
Um, by the way,
do you like Post Malone?
163
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,797
Love him.
164
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,843
Don'’t you remember
when Mr. Charles asked me
165
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:19,063
to name
my favorite piece of writing,
and I said "Congratulations"?
166
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:23,981
Yeah. Well, he'’s in town
doing a concert.
Maybe we could--
167
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,156
What'’s up, E?
168
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,157
Hey, Aiden.
169
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,855
- How are you?
- Good.
170
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,771
- [Aiden] Whoa.
- Uh...
171
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,207
What do you think you'’re doing?
172
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,339
Oh, nothing really.
I was actually just...
173
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,993
You trying to hit on my girl?
174
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,560
Aiden, stop that.
175
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,824
- Well, were you?
- No, no, no, no.
176
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:44,785
No. No. I was just trying to
tell her about my cat'’s nipples.
177
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,439
Your cat'’s nipple--
Bro, what are you talking about?
178
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,485
And other stuff.
179
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,706
Uh, tootles.
180
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,055
Uh...
181
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:57,754
I never say tootles,
just FYI.
182
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,148
That was my first time.
183
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,411
Okay.
184
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,457
Darn it!
185
00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,113
How'’d it go?
186
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,161
I might have to
change schools again.
187
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:18,427
My pupils,
focus your pupils on me
188
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,735
as I mold your malleable minds.
189
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:26,174
As I massage the clay
that is your cerebellum.
190
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:31,309
Today, my friends,
we discuss A Christmas Carol.
191
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:35,662
Perhaps the most overrated
of Charles Dickens'’s books.
192
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:40,362
And I must say, it certainly
missed my "great expectations."
[chuckles]
193
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,233
Now, when I read the book,
194
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:45,715
I felt like I was being visited
by the ghost of Christmas past.
195
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,325
Hard pass for me.
196
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,460
Liam.
197
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,071
I'’d be curious why you find
the young lady'’s hair
198
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,421
more captivating
than my lecture.
199
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,337
No, I wasn'’t--
I wasn'’t staring
at Emma'’s shiny hair.
200
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:00,774
Oh?[students chuckle]
201
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:05,126
Then what part of her
were you staring at?
202
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,608
- Arm.
- Arm.
203
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,087
[students laugh]
204
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,741
But I was also listening to you.
205
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:15,005
Is that right?
So you'’re able to ogle her arm
206
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:17,051
and listen to me
at the same time?
207
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:18,530
Yeah, it'’s--
it'’s not that hard.
208
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,880
[students laugh]
209
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,970
Now, Liam,
if you'’re so hyperaware,
210
00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:26,147
maybe you can tell me
what book I am discussing.
211
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,152
"Carol'’s Christmas"?
212
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,284
[students laugh]
213
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,851
Gotcha.
214
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,679
Now pay attention.
215
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,334
Demerit.
216
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:40,944
[student]
"Carol'’s Christmas."
217
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,512
Written by the great author,
Dickens Charles.
218
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,036
[students laugh]
219
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:49,257
Hey! You don'’t make fun of
dyslexia. Not cool.
220
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,914
Oh, and by the way,
Einstein had dyslexia too.
221
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,524
The bagel guy?
222
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,005
No. No, the other one.
223
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,401
[Liam] You see the way
Emma stood up for me?
224
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,360
Maybe she likes me too.
225
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,539
Liam, you'’re right
about Emma being awesome.
226
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:14,804
But she'’s not gonna be
interested in you unless
you pull it together, man.
227
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,458
Attempt to be cool.
228
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,503
[sighs] Maybe you'’re right.
229
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:22,377
All right, I gotta go.
I gotta mail a letter to Santa.
230
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,901
What?
Letter to Santa?
231
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:28,513
This is exactly
the kind of crap
I'’m talking about.
232
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,125
What are you doing
writing letters to Santa?
233
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,692
[sighs]
234
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:36,130
Look, I know.
I know he'’s probably not real.
235
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,393
But let'’s just say
there'’s, like,
a 1% chance he is
236
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,221
and there'’s something
you really want.
237
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:43,267
What possible harm
could there be
to write a stupid letter?
238
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,139
Okay, I guess.
239
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:51,798
And the big reason
I write it
is for my mom.
240
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,017
What?
She wants stuff from Santa too?
241
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,062
No.
242
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,675
Nobody in this world
loves Christmas
more than my mom.
243
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,242
Or did, anyway.
244
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,812
I just think
me writing the letter
makes her happy.
245
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,076
I like it better
when she'’s happy.
246
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,121
Okay, okay, whatever.
247
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:14,298
Just keep that letter thing
under wraps.
248
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:18,868
If the kids at school
ever found out about this,
you'’d be destroyed.
249
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:22,002
- Destroyed.
- You'’re not gonna
tell anyone, right?
250
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:25,092
Good God, no.
How do you think
it would make me look
251
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,181
that my bestie
still believes in Santa?
252
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,400
I'’m your bestie?
253
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,142
Yeah.
254
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,145
Hey, Gibby...
255
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,801
Remember I told you
we moved out here
256
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,935
because I was supposed to be
in the witness protection
program?
257
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:43,980
Yeah?
258
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,288
Well, that wasn'’t true.
259
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,380
Some bad stuff--
260
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,599
bad stuff happened
back where we used to live.
261
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,298
There was an accident,
and that was right before--
262
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,691
Hey, hey. Have you ever had
the Impossible Burger lasagna?
263
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,345
- What?
- Have you ever had it?
264
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,391
I haven'’t,
but I hear it'’s really good.
265
00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:06,655
Come on, Gibby.
I was about to
tell you something huge.
266
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,788
Yeah, that'’s why
I made small talk.
267
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,269
I'’m really bad
with that serious crap.
268
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,185
Yeah, me too.
269
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,145
["Sleigh Ride" playing]
270
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,110
Thanks for letting me
come with you
to mail your letter.
271
00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,546
It'’s more fun this way.
272
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,550
Hey, I see the town'’s putting on
a big Christmas carnival
this week.
273
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,552
Maybe you and I
can go to that.
274
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,076
Uh...
275
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,034
Yeah, Mom. Maybe.
276
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,864
A lot of kids from my class
are gonna be there and...
277
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,083
Oh.
278
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,780
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
279
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,272
Come on, baby.
Let'’s go. Come on.
280
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,711
To Santa.
281
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:13,678
Care of the North Pole.
282
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,975
[footsteps approach]
283
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:50,933
Huh.
284
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,109
Well, you don'’t see this
very often.
285
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,593
[mother] But why do you
always have to cut me off?[Bill scoffs]
286
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,248
Are you kidding me?
You'’re always cutting me off.
287
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:04,947
[mother] After everything
he'’s been through, I worry
about his mental well-being.
288
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:08,559
[Bill]
Can we not turn this into
a therapy session?
289
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:11,171
[mother]
Okay, if believing in Santa
makes him happy,
290
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,129
what right do you have
to say that he can'’t?
291
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,915
Oh, come on.
Don'’t make me the bad guy.
292
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,352
[sighs]
I wish there was a Santa.
293
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,789
Because then I'’d have a pony.
294
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,618
'’Cause that'’s what I asked for
every year when I was a kid.
295
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,664
[mother]
That'’s why you'’re mad?
You never got a pony.
296
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,667
[Bill] Knock it off.
297
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,235
You said
you were gonna talk to him.[mother] And I will.
298
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,324
[Bill] When?[mother] I don'’t know. Soon.
299
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,326
[cat meows]
300
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,901
[thunder rumbles in distance]
301
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,296
[whooshing]
302
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,127
[hangars rattle][footsteps thud]
303
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,870
[groans]
Blitzen, is that you?
304
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,657
Use the litter box.
305
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,096
[sniffs]
306
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,925
[groans] That'’s putrid.
307
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,535
Thank you.[Liam gasps]
308
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,364
Who was that? [exclaims]
309
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:17,889
[shouts]
310
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,893
Who are you? What do you want?
311
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,941
What do you mean what do I want?
It'’s me.
312
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,464
[Liam] Who?
313
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,162
Me. I got your letter.
314
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:30,902
What letter?
315
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,643
The letter you sent me.
316
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,341
I never sent you a letter.
317
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,473
What do you call this,
fudge nuts?
318
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,436
You had a list in there
asking for all sorts of
stupid crap.
319
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:47,354
So you mean you'’re S--
320
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,269
In the naughty flesh.
321
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,663
Hey, I really want to thank you
for writing me, Liam.
322
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,535
What an unexpected treat.
323
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,189
Unexpected?
324
00:16:56,363 --> 00:17:00,149
Very. Guess how many letters
I get from kids a year.
325
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,672
I'’m not a guesser.
326
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,891
Guess!
327
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,459
Seventy-one million?
328
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,202
Seventy-one million? Uh, no.
329
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:10,812
How many?
330
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,727
None. [laughs]
331
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,120
What?
332
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,686
Sure, I get a few manifestos
in the mail
333
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,471
from some wonderfully deranged
grown-ups, but--
334
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:18,907
What is going on here?
335
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,649
This is insane.
You don'’t exist.
336
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:25,783
Really? Do you usually write
letters to people
who don'’t exist?
337
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,700
You'’re just--
You'’re not what I expected.
338
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,659
What'’d you expect?
339
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:35,228
Well, for one thing,
I thought you'’d be
a little jollier.
340
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,013
Jollier?
Who the hell'’s jolly these days?
341
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:39,841
Fair point.
342
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,190
But your suit is different.
343
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:42,931
And your beard
doesn'’t look the same.
344
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,889
But I guess you are, um,
345
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,500
chunky enough.
346
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:49,764
[chuckles]
Wow, you went there.
347
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:53,289
What, you don'’t put on
a few extra pounds
over the holidays?
348
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:56,118
- I guess.
- Besides, who said I was chunky?
349
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,946
That'’s how they make you look
in the movies.
350
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,948
Yeah, figures.
351
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,516
If you'’re not a perfect size two
in Hollywood, they demonize you.
352
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:07,738
And in the movies,
the reindeer usually have
the antlers, not you.
353
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,393
Reindeer?
354
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:11,829
Kid, are you high?
355
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,527
Let me see that letter again.
356
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,051
Give it.
357
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,014
Oh, boy.
358
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:27,410
Um, you wouldn'’t happen to
have trouble spelling,
would you?
359
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,846
Yes.
360
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,022
Sometimes.
361
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,894
Ooh.
362
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,114
Wait, how do I know
you'’re actually Santa
363
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,854
and you'’re not
just messing with me?
364
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,247
Check this out.
365
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,078
Ho, ho, frickin'’ ho.
366
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:45,950
No way!
367
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,300
Yeah way.
368
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:48,910
Where'’s my milk and cookies?
369
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,392
Usually I only do the outfit
on Christmas Day.
370
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,089
Gotta keep a low profile.
371
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,440
And I'’m back!
372
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,051
I don'’t believe this!
373
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,314
Right? Good stuff.
374
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,359
Okay,
enough of the party tricks.
375
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,622
Down to biz.
I'’m here to offer you a deal.
376
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,842
A deal?
377
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:11,454
Isn'’t the deal I'’m good,
I write you a letter,
you get me stuff?
378
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:13,978
The letter thing'’s
a total myth.
Fake news.
379
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,981
You, my friend,
are getting wishes.
Three wishes.
380
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,548
Three wishes?
381
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,289
What, you mean like a genie?
382
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,683
They stole that from me.
383
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,511
Wait,
so there really are genies?
384
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,209
Sorry, I can'’t discuss it.
It'’s under "litigaysh."
385
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:28,776
Okay, ready?
386
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:30,517
Wish time.
387
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:35,348
Are you telling me
I can wish for anything
in the whole wide world?
388
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,828
Yeah. I mean, within reason.
389
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:40,570
I can'’t undo the War of 1812.
390
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,268
What'’s the War of 1812?
391
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,662
It was a war. In 1812.
392
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,751
Look, the point is
I can'’t change history.
393
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:50,058
But anything you want
moving forward,
I can deliver.
394
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:51,799
So, come on, make a wish.
395
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:54,323
[exhales] Well, I mean,
there'’s a lot I could wish for
396
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,804
and I wasn'’t expecting this,
so I'’m trying to think.
397
00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:00,242
World peace, climate change.
398
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:03,114
Geez, childhood hunger is
a big problem right now.
399
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,813
Are you kidding me with this?
You don'’t have a wish ready?
400
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:08,816
I mean, you read my letter.
Shouldn'’t you already know
what I want?
401
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,426
Okay, you got me.
402
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,298
I didn'’t read the whole thing.
It was boring.
403
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,561
Besides, what'’s with
all this Goody Two-shoes stuff?
404
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,737
I can give you
anything you want.
405
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,740
How about a dirt bike?
A yacht.
406
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,307
I could get you a helicopter.
407
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,222
What about your personal life?
408
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,919
A girl? [snorts]
409
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,834
Is there a girl you like?
410
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,315
Yeah. Emma.
411
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,275
I do kind of wish
she'’d give me a chance.
412
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,190
Boom! Done!
413
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,236
She'’s gonna give you a chance.
That'’s one wish, two to go.
414
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,238
- See you tomorrow.
- Wait!
415
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:40,848
That'’s it?
416
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,458
That'’s it.
417
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,373
How do I know my wish
is actually gonna come true?
418
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,462
Really?
419
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,247
The whirling around
and costume change
420
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,509
didn'’t convince you?
421
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:50,684
How about this?
422
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:52,686
[shouts]
423
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,340
I'’ve already seen that one.
424
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:57,473
Okay. Have you seen this?
425
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,258
[meows]
426
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:01,912
[growls]
427
00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,001
Booyah!
428
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,048
Huh?
429
00:21:08,049 --> 00:21:09,311
Santa'’s the shit!
430
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:12,749
Sold.
431
00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:15,404
Yeah. [laughs]
432
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:18,451
Catch you on the flip-flop.
433
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,590
Mom, wake up.
434
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:29,418
Mom. Wake up.
435
00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,334
Hey. Is everything okay?
436
00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:33,814
Yeah, yeah.
Everything'’s great.
437
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:36,643
I have amazing news, Mom.
Santa came to my room.
438
00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:38,209
What?
439
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,864
Santa. He got my letter,
and he came to my room.
440
00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:42,910
You were dreaming.
Just go back to bed, honey.
441
00:21:43,084 --> 00:21:44,607
No, Mom. I'’m wide awake.
442
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:47,262
Here'’s the letter I sent him.
He gave it back to me.
443
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:49,917
And he made Blitzen speak.
In English.
444
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,311
Go back to sleep, honey.
445
00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,922
What, do you not believe me?
How would I have
the letter back?
446
00:21:56,532 --> 00:22:00,493
I don'’t know. I mean,
maybe you just forgot to
put it in the mailbox.
447
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:01,929
No, I didn'’t--
448
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,279
Where'’s Dad?
449
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:07,151
Oh, he--
he'’s sleeping on the couch.
450
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:08,631
Why?
451
00:22:08,805 --> 00:22:10,894
Uh, just because, you know,
452
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:13,506
his back has been
hurting him lately.
453
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,725
Should we wake him up
and tell him the good news?
454
00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:20,861
No, no. Your father
has work tomorrow,
so we should just let him rest.
455
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:24,255
Isn'’t it great though?
456
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,170
Santa Claus is real!
457
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:28,651
Good night, Mom. Love you.
458
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:30,436
Love you too.
459
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:34,309
Huh.
460
00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,410
What the hell did you expect?
461
00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,978
You said you'’d talk to him,
and then you keep
putting it off.
462
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:53,154
It'’s not an easy thing
to just say to a kid.
463
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:55,939
Actually, he'’s not a kid.
464
00:22:56,113 --> 00:22:58,681
And look what happened now.
He'’s having dreams
he thinks are real.
465
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:01,423
Oh. Really gonna
lay that one on me too?
466
00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:04,948
What do you mean "too"?
467
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:07,342
[Liam] ♪ Santa Claus
Is coming to town♪You know what I mean.
468
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:10,780
♪ Santa Claus
Is coming to town ♪
469
00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:12,913
♪ Santa Claus
Is coming to town ♪
470
00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:16,438
Morning, honey.
I got your lunch
and a snack in here, okay?
471
00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:18,048
Thanks.
472
00:23:18,222 --> 00:23:20,181
Hey, Dad. Did Mom tell you
what happened last night?
473
00:23:20,355 --> 00:23:21,965
She, uh, mentioned it.
474
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:24,185
Isn'’t it incredible?
475
00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:28,319
Santa Claus,
right here in our house.
476
00:23:28,494 --> 00:23:30,321
He is a little different
than you think though.
477
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,106
[Bill stammers] Yeah.
478
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,978
Must'’ve been some dream,
huh, kiddo?
479
00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:39,983
What? It wasn'’t a dream.
I mean, it was as real
as real can be.
480
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:43,160
All right. See you guys later.
481
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:46,207
- Have a good day.
- Go get '’em.
482
00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:49,428
[Liam] ♪ Deck the halls
With boughs of holly♪[exhales]
483
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:53,780
[door closes]
484
00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:55,477
Yeah, okay, we got a problem.
485
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,349
They'’re gonna stuff him
in a locker.
486
00:23:58,524 --> 00:23:59,525
Stop.
487
00:24:00,395 --> 00:24:02,266
[animals chittering]
488
00:24:04,268 --> 00:24:05,400
Hey, buddy.
489
00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:07,271
Everybody,
please check to make sure
490
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,449
that your animal
has plenty of food and water
491
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:12,799
and is showing
no signs of distress.
492
00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:19,066
Hey, little buddy.
You doing okay?
493
00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:22,896
["Whatta Man" playing]
494
00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:36,126
Psst. Yo, Señor Scaredy-cat.
495
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,651
Down here. It'’s me, Santa.
496
00:24:38,825 --> 00:24:41,262
What are you waiting for?
Go make a move!
497
00:24:42,132 --> 00:24:44,221
H-How did you get so small?
498
00:24:44,395 --> 00:24:47,137
[snorts]
What do you mean "how"?
I can do stuff, remember?
499
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,052
Now get over there
and talk to Emma.
500
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:52,012
But I can'’t.
I don'’t know what to do.
501
00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:54,884
Are you kidding me right now?
Hey!
502
00:24:55,058 --> 00:24:58,540
Mind your manners.
It'’s off-limits, buster.
503
00:24:58,714 --> 00:25:02,326
Kid, you wished for her
to give you a chance.
This is it.
504
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,199
You just have to go talk to her.
Take it to the next level.
505
00:25:05,373 --> 00:25:06,766
But what do I say?
506
00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:08,289
Ask her on a date.
507
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,813
No. Kids don'’t do that anymore.
508
00:25:11,422 --> 00:25:12,467
[teacher] Liam?
509
00:25:14,121 --> 00:25:15,209
Everything okay?
510
00:25:15,383 --> 00:25:17,211
Yeah,
everything'’s, uh, great.
511
00:25:19,430 --> 00:25:20,823
[Satan]
Get over there, you chicken!
512
00:25:20,997 --> 00:25:23,783
But... I'’ll talk to her later.
513
00:25:23,957 --> 00:25:25,219
Maybe in the hallway.
514
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:27,090
If you don'’t get over there
right now,
515
00:25:27,264 --> 00:25:28,875
I'’m gonna sic this hamster
on you.
516
00:25:29,049 --> 00:25:31,355
Yeah, I'’m gonna have him
jump out of this cage
517
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,227
and maul you
with his tiny teeth and claws
518
00:25:33,401 --> 00:25:35,490
until your own mother
doesn'’t recognize you.
519
00:25:35,664 --> 00:25:37,361
You'’ll never live it down.
520
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,450
You'’ll be the kid
who barely survived
a hamster attack.
521
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:40,930
Is that what you want?
522
00:25:41,104 --> 00:25:43,585
I'’m not afraid of
a cute, little hamster.
523
00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:44,717
[growls]
524
00:25:44,891 --> 00:25:46,545
[shouts] I'’m going.
525
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:47,937
[Satan chuckles]
526
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,680
Hey, Emma.
527
00:25:51,854 --> 00:25:55,292
L-Liam. Hi. Hey. How are you?
528
00:25:55,466 --> 00:25:58,165
Stupid question.
You'’re probably great.
Just ignore that.
529
00:25:58,339 --> 00:25:59,601
No, I'’m fine.
530
00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:01,124
[chuckles]
531
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,736
Anyway, uh,
I came over here to ask
532
00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:06,956
if you wanted to
hang out sometime. Soon.
533
00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:08,567
Me with you?
534
00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:11,134
Yes. Definitely.
Where? When?
535
00:26:11,308 --> 00:26:14,747
Uh, maybe we could go to
that Post Malone concert?
536
00:26:16,183 --> 00:26:19,012
Or-- Or-- Or not. Uh...
537
00:26:22,276 --> 00:26:23,886
What are you doing?
538
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:26,715
I don'’t know. I panicked.
It scared me to be that brave.
539
00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:28,282
Go with it, buddy.
540
00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:29,892
You wanna go to
the Posty concert,
you got it.
541
00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:31,415
Now sell it!
542
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,592
- Really?
- Yes!
543
00:26:34,331 --> 00:26:35,376
[exhales]
544
00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,381
- Hi again.
- Hi.
545
00:26:40,555 --> 00:26:44,254
Liam, I don'’t know
if you were being serious.
546
00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:46,430
Like, were you kidding?
547
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,825
If you don'’t wanna take me,
I get it. That'’s okay.
548
00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:51,653
No, no, I was being serious.
549
00:26:51,827 --> 00:26:55,570
I just didn'’t know
if your boyfriend would--
550
00:26:55,744 --> 00:26:57,311
That won'’t be a problem.
551
00:26:57,485 --> 00:26:59,792
I broke up with Aiden anyways.
552
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:02,577
Sometimes he wasn'’t that nice.
553
00:27:03,752 --> 00:27:04,840
Okay. Uh...
554
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:08,235
Uh, I'’ll text you the details.
555
00:27:08,888 --> 00:27:10,150
Great. [chuckles]
556
00:27:11,368 --> 00:27:12,543
Tootles!
557
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:17,897
I never say "tootles" either,
just-- just FYI.
558
00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:20,464
That was my first time.
559
00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:30,300
[exhales]
Sue me, I'’m thirsty.
560
00:27:33,303 --> 00:27:35,479
[bell rings]
561
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:38,134
You'’re going to see
Post Malone with Emma?
562
00:27:38,308 --> 00:27:40,963
Yeah, and that'’s not even
the craziest part.
563
00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:43,792
You won'’t believe
what happened last night.
564
00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:47,753
I'’m pretty sure you going to
Post Malone with Emma
is the craziest part.
565
00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:50,625
You'’d think so,
but Santa came to my room
last night!
566
00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:52,540
Santa came to your room?
567
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:54,107
I swear.
568
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:56,457
But he didn'’t look like Santa.
He had antlers.
569
00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:59,678
But then he looked like Santa,
but he explained
he didn'’t walk around like that,
570
00:27:59,852 --> 00:28:01,288
except on Christmas.
571
00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:03,159
That had to be your imagination.
572
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,248
If it was my imagination,
573
00:28:05,422 --> 00:28:07,207
then how do you explain him
being in the cage
with my hamster
574
00:28:07,381 --> 00:28:08,948
during science class?
575
00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:12,473
Santa Claus was in the cage
- with your hamster?
- Uh-huh.
576
00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:16,129
You must'’ve been having
some weird dreams last night.
577
00:28:16,303 --> 00:28:18,131
But the hamster thing
happened today.
578
00:28:18,305 --> 00:28:19,654
[Gibby] Whatever.
579
00:28:19,828 --> 00:28:22,657
Night dreams, daydreams,
they can seem real.
580
00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:25,486
Look! There he is.
581
00:28:26,530 --> 00:28:27,531
Where?
582
00:28:28,184 --> 00:28:29,882
On the bench.
583
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:31,492
[Gibby]
Where on the bench?
584
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:34,016
[Liam]
The only guy on the bench.
585
00:28:34,843 --> 00:28:36,453
That'’s Santa?
586
00:28:36,627 --> 00:28:39,369
Yeah. Yeah, he'’s the one
who brought me my letter back.
587
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:40,631
Wanna meet him?
588
00:28:40,806 --> 00:28:42,285
Uh, that'’s gonna be a hard pass.
589
00:28:43,286 --> 00:28:45,767
Liam.
Look who you addressed that to.
590
00:28:46,942 --> 00:28:48,030
Santa? So?
591
00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:50,859
Look at it again.
Take your time.
592
00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:52,078
[Liam gasps]
593
00:28:52,252 --> 00:28:55,559
Satan. Oh, my God.
594
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,953
Well, at least it somehow
still got to Santa.
595
00:28:58,127 --> 00:28:59,128
Did it?
596
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,131
Are you saying... No.
597
00:29:02,305 --> 00:29:04,090
That can'’t be the devil.
There is no devil.
598
00:29:04,264 --> 00:29:06,396
There'’s no devil,
but there'’s a Santa Claus?
599
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:08,529
Come on, man. Pick a lane.
600
00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:10,661
See you later, alligator.
601
00:29:11,488 --> 00:29:12,489
What the--
602
00:29:13,229 --> 00:29:14,143
[Satan] Hey, Liam!
603
00:29:14,317 --> 00:29:16,798
There you are. Come over here.
604
00:29:16,972 --> 00:29:18,713
[whistles]
605
00:29:18,887 --> 00:29:21,237
Come on.
What are you waiting for?
We'’re burning daylight.
606
00:29:21,890 --> 00:29:23,196
Get over here!
607
00:29:23,370 --> 00:29:25,024
What'’s with
the tiny, slow steps?
608
00:29:25,198 --> 00:29:27,156
Let'’s pick up the pace. Come on.
609
00:29:28,592 --> 00:29:29,637
What'’s your deal, kid?
610
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:30,943
First, you send me a letter,
611
00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:32,814
and then I make
your dreams come true,
612
00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:34,990
and then you avoid me like
I'’m the frickin'’ Easter Bunny?
613
00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:38,385
Sorry, I didn'’t see you
over there on the bench
where you were sitting.
614
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:40,256
Um, can I ask you
a question?
615
00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:42,693
Does Pinocchio poop pinecones?
616
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,653
My God! You are Satan.
617
00:29:45,827 --> 00:29:47,437
No, I'’m not.
618
00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:49,352
Come on, turd breath,
we'’ve already been through this.
619
00:29:49,526 --> 00:29:51,485
I'’m your friend, Santy Claus.
620
00:29:51,659 --> 00:29:53,574
Turd breath? [sniffs]
621
00:29:53,748 --> 00:29:55,097
Does my breath stink?
622
00:29:55,271 --> 00:29:57,926
No, I was just saying that
to make you feel bad.
623
00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:01,451
[chuckles] Okay, okay.
I'’m Satan. You got me.
624
00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:03,366
Now quit being a baby.
625
00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:06,326
You lucked out big time,
dumbass.
I'’m way better than Santa.
626
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,371
- How?
- Come on, think about it.
627
00:30:08,545 --> 00:30:10,460
What do you want
under the Christmas tree?
628
00:30:10,634 --> 00:30:12,941
A pair of itchy socks
that Grandma knitted you?
629
00:30:13,115 --> 00:30:16,031
Or anything in the world
your little selfish heart
desires?
630
00:30:17,293 --> 00:30:19,121
- Oh, look, it'’s a dove.
- Is it?
631
00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:24,779
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I can'’t move.
632
00:30:28,217 --> 00:30:30,002
If you touch me,
I'’ll scream.
633
00:30:30,176 --> 00:30:32,874
Why would I touch you?
I'’m the devil,
not a trusted relative.
634
00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:36,356
[laughs] Sorry.
That was low-hanging fruit.
635
00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:39,838
By the way, we got a lot of
those creepy uncle types
down where I'’m from.
636
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:41,927
[grunts]
637
00:30:42,405 --> 00:30:43,929
All right?
638
00:30:44,103 --> 00:30:46,627
Come on.
Now, just relax, kid.
639
00:30:46,801 --> 00:30:49,760
You and I
are gonna do a lot better
if we work together.
640
00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:51,545
I'’m not comfortable with this.
641
00:30:51,719 --> 00:30:56,028
I don'’t wanna be seen talking to
some weird guy with horns.
642
00:30:56,202 --> 00:30:58,595
Okay, is it the horns
that bother you?
Watch this.
643
00:31:01,772 --> 00:31:02,904
All gone.
644
00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:08,649
Sir, since I was clearly writing
to Santa and not to you,
645
00:31:08,823 --> 00:31:12,566
maybe we can just forget
about all this
and you can go on your way.
646
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:15,351
Not that easy, buddy boy.
You already made
your first wish,
647
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:17,876
and that means
we have a deal in progress.
648
00:31:18,050 --> 00:31:21,575
There'’s no getting out of
this thing until
all three wishes are used up.
649
00:31:21,749 --> 00:31:24,143
By the way, check your phone.
650
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,150
Oh, my God!
651
00:31:34,501 --> 00:31:36,329
That'’s it? OMG?
652
00:31:36,503 --> 00:31:37,721
Where'’s my thank-you?
653
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,158
You can'’t get better tickets
than that.
654
00:31:39,332 --> 00:31:41,508
That'’s where Mama Posty sits.
655
00:31:41,682 --> 00:31:46,513
But I didn'’t ask for tickets.
I wished for Emma to like me.
656
00:31:46,687 --> 00:31:49,864
Nope. Technically,
you wished for her to
give you a chance.
657
00:31:50,038 --> 00:31:52,040
- What'’s the difference?
- Big difference.
658
00:31:52,214 --> 00:31:54,608
She'’s gonna give you a chance.
That'’s all.
You can still screw it up.
659
00:31:54,782 --> 00:31:57,567
But to give your chance
a chance, I threw in
those tickets as a freebie,
660
00:31:57,741 --> 00:32:00,919
'’cause let'’s face it,
your game'’s a little weak.
661
00:32:02,007 --> 00:32:05,662
Sir,
I'’m going to politely decline.
662
00:32:05,836 --> 00:32:08,578
You can have those tickets back.
Scalp '’em if you want.
663
00:32:09,623 --> 00:32:11,407
I wanna call off our deal
entirely.
664
00:32:11,581 --> 00:32:14,976
I told you, you can'’t.
You summoned me.
665
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:16,673
No, I summoned Santa.
666
00:32:16,847 --> 00:32:19,415
Nope.
Pretty sure you wrote "Satan."
667
00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:20,721
S-A-T-A-N.
668
00:32:20,895 --> 00:32:22,418
It was a mistake.
669
00:32:22,592 --> 00:32:23,724
There are no mistakes.
670
00:32:23,898 --> 00:32:25,987
Everything happens for a reason.
671
00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,467
Just ask your God.
672
00:32:27,641 --> 00:32:29,338
This didn'’t happen for a reason.
673
00:32:29,512 --> 00:32:31,210
It was a total typo.
674
00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:32,515
I have learning differences.
675
00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:33,777
[mock crying]
676
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,475
Everyone'’s a victim these days.
677
00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:39,522
OCD, ADD, L-M-N-O-P.
Blah, blah, blah.
678
00:32:39,696 --> 00:32:41,698
When I was a kid,
they'’d slap you
in the back of the head
679
00:32:41,872 --> 00:32:43,048
and tell you to suck it up.
680
00:32:43,657 --> 00:32:44,614
You were a kid?
681
00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:46,834
I don'’t wanna talk about it.
682
00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:50,969
Liam, you'’re looking
at this thing all wrong.
683
00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:54,276
The way I see it,
there'’s some good news
and some other news.
684
00:32:54,450 --> 00:32:56,800
The good news is
you'’ve got two more wishes.
685
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:58,019
That'’s pretty amazing.
686
00:32:58,193 --> 00:32:59,194
And the other news?
687
00:32:59,368 --> 00:33:00,630
Huh?
688
00:33:00,804 --> 00:33:03,024
You said
- there was other news.
- Oh, right.
689
00:33:03,198 --> 00:33:05,809
After you make two more wishes,
I'’m taking your soul.
690
00:33:06,549 --> 00:33:07,811
What? Are you insane?
691
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:10,510
I prefer "sanity adjacent."
692
00:33:10,684 --> 00:33:13,165
Well, what if I don'’t make
the other two wishes?
693
00:33:13,339 --> 00:33:15,210
- You will.
- What if I don'’t?
694
00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:18,170
- Uh, trust me, you will.
- And if I don'’t?
695
00:33:18,344 --> 00:33:20,520
[sighs]
If you do not make three wishes,
696
00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:22,478
technically,
I cannot take your soul.
697
00:33:22,652 --> 00:33:23,914
But you will.
698
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:26,439
Here.
See that cloud over there?
699
00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:29,311
Let me show you
a few of the things
I could do for you.
700
00:33:29,485 --> 00:33:32,271
["Real Wild Child" playing]
701
00:33:33,489 --> 00:33:35,317
[laughs]
702
00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:36,405
Yeah!
703
00:33:36,579 --> 00:33:38,320
[cheering]
704
00:33:40,757 --> 00:33:42,020
[person] Oh, yeah!
705
00:33:43,499 --> 00:33:45,110
He'’s going over the top!
706
00:33:47,286 --> 00:33:48,809
[cheering]
707
00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:57,774
[blows]
708
00:33:57,948 --> 00:33:59,776
Come on.
Pedal to the metal. Come on!
709
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:00,951
[engine revs][exclaims]
710
00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:07,828
All right. Let'’s go, kid.
711
00:34:08,002 --> 00:34:09,873
[cheering]
712
00:34:12,528 --> 00:34:14,356
[whooping, laughing]
713
00:34:18,926 --> 00:34:20,188
You see that, kid?
714
00:34:20,362 --> 00:34:22,886
You ain'’t never had
a friend like me.
715
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,975
Okay, that I may have stolen
from Aladdin.
716
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:26,934
Now we'’re even. [chuckles]
717
00:34:28,022 --> 00:34:30,416
Liam, you got the world
by the oysters.
718
00:34:30,590 --> 00:34:33,114
I don'’t really like oysters.
719
00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:35,638
I think I'’m going to
politely pass on your offer.
720
00:34:37,031 --> 00:34:38,119
What'’s the matter with you?
721
00:34:38,293 --> 00:34:39,642
I don'’t know.
722
00:34:39,816 --> 00:34:42,210
I mean,
these are all nice ideas.
I just...
723
00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:44,082
I kinda don'’t wanna
give up my soul.
724
00:34:44,256 --> 00:34:45,735
On your left![brakes squeal]
725
00:34:45,909 --> 00:34:48,956
Son of a... gun.
726
00:34:52,873 --> 00:34:54,744
Liam, do you know this man?
727
00:34:54,918 --> 00:34:56,311
Yeah, I'’m his uncle. Beat it.
728
00:34:56,485 --> 00:34:57,921
Uh...
729
00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,358
Is this true, Liam?
730
00:35:00,185 --> 00:35:01,534
Yes. Yes, it is.
731
00:35:02,317 --> 00:35:04,798
Huh. Well, then.
732
00:35:04,972 --> 00:35:09,324
Maybe you can suggest to
your nephew to stop being
so inattentive in class.
733
00:35:09,498 --> 00:35:10,847
It'’s causing disruptions.
734
00:35:12,588 --> 00:35:15,243
How'’s that again?
I wasn'’t really paying attention
to anything you just said.
735
00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:18,507
I was saying young Liam here
has a bad habit of being in--
736
00:35:18,681 --> 00:35:20,161
[chuckles]
737
00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,294
Very funny, wise guy.
738
00:35:22,468 --> 00:35:25,166
Can you really blame him though?
You'’re pretty damn boring,
you know.
739
00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:27,473
Excuse me.
740
00:35:27,647 --> 00:35:30,258
Who do you think you are,
talking to me like that?
741
00:35:30,432 --> 00:35:31,955
Here we go.
742
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,871
Dressed like you'’re in
some apocalyptic biker gang,
743
00:35:35,045 --> 00:35:36,612
with your dead carcass.
744
00:35:36,786 --> 00:35:40,399
Now, I will not tolerate
obscene language directed at me.
745
00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:43,445
Ooh.[stomach burbles]
746
00:35:43,619 --> 00:35:44,533
Oh, my.
747
00:35:45,317 --> 00:35:46,231
Dear me.
748
00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:48,450
That doesn'’t sound right.
749
00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:50,844
I hope you'’re not getting
that stomach bug
that'’s been going around.
750
00:35:51,018 --> 00:35:52,411
Sir, I am the picture of health.
751
00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:53,934
[stomach burbles]
Ooh.
752
00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:55,065
[farts]
Oh!
753
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:56,502
[chuckles]
754
00:35:56,676 --> 00:35:58,243
Pardon me. Kombucha.
755
00:35:58,417 --> 00:36:02,203
I hope it'’s not IBS.
Sometimes that can be unruly.
756
00:36:02,377 --> 00:36:04,597
[farts, gasping]
757
00:36:04,771 --> 00:36:06,207
Gentlemen, excuse me.
758
00:36:06,381 --> 00:36:09,428
It seems nature is calling,
and I intend to answer.
759
00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:11,865
[farting]
Ooh.
760
00:36:12,039 --> 00:36:15,651
Oh, my. I'’ve never heard
such a spirited bout
of flatulence.
761
00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:17,653
[farting continues]
762
00:36:19,568 --> 00:36:20,569
Watch this.
763
00:36:21,135 --> 00:36:21,875
Lock.
764
00:36:22,049 --> 00:36:23,137
[door locks]
765
00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:25,661
No! No! Please! Let me in![farts]
766
00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:26,923
I need a toilette.
767
00:36:27,097 --> 00:36:29,056
My kingdom for a toilette.
768
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:31,537
Did you know every time
a grown man sharts himself,
769
00:36:31,711 --> 00:36:33,278
a demon earns its horns?
770
00:36:34,322 --> 00:36:35,367
It'’s true.
771
00:36:35,541 --> 00:36:37,934
[farts, bubbles]
Oh! No! Tummy tum.
772
00:36:38,108 --> 00:36:39,458
[pants]
773
00:36:39,632 --> 00:36:41,721
Never trust a fart.
You just gambled and lost.
774
00:36:41,895 --> 00:36:43,636
[stomach growls,
chuckles, exclaims]
775
00:36:43,810 --> 00:36:46,029
I apologize.
But it appears... [farts]
Oh, no.
776
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,598
Something'’s come out-- come up--
and I have to run.
777
00:36:49,772 --> 00:36:51,600
So now, I will just m...[liquid drips]
778
00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:54,037
[exclaims]
779
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,083
[birds squawking]
I will just mount
my trusty steed.
780
00:36:57,084 --> 00:36:59,304
[farting, exclaims]
781
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:04,178
Gentlemen... tallyho!
782
00:37:06,746 --> 00:37:08,095
[farting continues]
783
00:37:08,269 --> 00:37:09,575
Nice to meet ya!
784
00:37:09,749 --> 00:37:11,968
The pleasure was mine!
785
00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:14,580
[Satan laughs]
786
00:37:18,453 --> 00:37:20,325
Let'’s look at the bright side.
787
00:37:20,499 --> 00:37:23,023
The first two wishes
are freebies, right?
788
00:37:23,197 --> 00:37:25,243
He only gets your soul
after the third?
789
00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:26,853
Yeah, but--
790
00:37:27,027 --> 00:37:29,595
And you can tap out
at any time before then. Right?
791
00:37:29,769 --> 00:37:33,642
Well, yeah, technically. But I--Well, then what'’s the problem?
792
00:37:33,816 --> 00:37:36,993
Look, I'’m worried Satan
is going to trick me
into making more wishes.
793
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,517
He'’s pretty clever.
794
00:37:38,691 --> 00:37:40,693
He pretty much tricked me
into the first one.
795
00:37:40,867 --> 00:37:42,782
Yeah,
that'’s classic Satan stuff.
796
00:37:42,956 --> 00:37:44,784
But I think you'’ll be fine.
797
00:37:45,741 --> 00:37:47,613
Like, you'’re strong.
798
00:37:47,787 --> 00:37:50,180
You'’re not gonna make
any more wishes
if you don'’t want to.
799
00:37:51,965 --> 00:37:55,490
That'’s what I thought.
But Satan said
I definitely would.
800
00:37:55,664 --> 00:37:58,188
Don'’t worry about
what Satan said.
801
00:37:58,363 --> 00:37:59,973
You'’re the nicest kid I know.
802
00:38:00,626 --> 00:38:01,844
Thanks, Gibby.
803
00:38:02,454 --> 00:38:03,716
[groans] All right.
804
00:38:04,934 --> 00:38:06,371
I gotta go convince my parents
805
00:38:06,545 --> 00:38:08,286
into letting me go to
this concert.
806
00:38:09,374 --> 00:38:11,201
That'’s gonna be a tough one.
807
00:38:11,376 --> 00:38:13,029
[sighs]
Yeah. Wish me luck.
808
00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,524
Hey, Mom and Dad.
I wanted to ask if I could--
809
00:38:30,569 --> 00:38:31,700
Hi, honey.
810
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,834
- Hi.
- Hello, Liam.
811
00:38:35,008 --> 00:38:36,618
I'’m Dr. Finkleman.
812
00:38:36,792 --> 00:38:38,098
Hello.
813
00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:40,927
Dr. Finkleman is
a child psychologist, Liam.
814
00:38:41,101 --> 00:38:42,494
Hmm.
815
00:38:42,668 --> 00:38:44,322
I hear
that'’s an interesting field.
816
00:38:44,496 --> 00:38:45,497
Hmm.
817
00:38:47,063 --> 00:38:49,022
I'’m gonna go watch
Salt Lake Housewives.
818
00:38:50,502 --> 00:38:51,851
Uh, Liam.
819
00:38:52,982 --> 00:38:54,070
Hmm?
820
00:38:54,244 --> 00:38:56,638
Dr. Finkleman
is here to see you.
821
00:38:56,812 --> 00:38:58,597
Oh, God.
822
00:38:58,771 --> 00:39:01,295
[Finkleman]
So, I wanna make sure
I have this straight.
823
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:06,126
Uh, first, you thought
Santa came into your bedroom.
824
00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:10,348
But now you think
it wasn'’t Santa,
it was Satan.
825
00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:13,089
- Yeah, that'’s right.
- No.
826
00:39:13,873 --> 00:39:14,787
He must be confused.
827
00:39:14,961 --> 00:39:16,745
He means Saint Nick, not Satan.
828
00:39:17,529 --> 00:39:19,705
No, no, that'’s what I thought.
829
00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:22,185
But then I realized
it was Satan.
830
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,361
Oh, no.
831
00:39:24,231 --> 00:39:25,624
No, no, no, no, no.
832
00:39:26,538 --> 00:39:27,974
No. Think he'’s just confused.
833
00:39:28,148 --> 00:39:31,804
Well, um,
let'’s say he is confused.
834
00:39:31,978 --> 00:39:36,548
Liam, you confused
Santa and Satan. How?
835
00:39:36,722 --> 00:39:41,161
Well, they both have
surprisingly similar styles.
836
00:39:41,335 --> 00:39:46,296
I mean, you know, beards,
a generous build,
837
00:39:46,471 --> 00:39:49,952
and their clothing is reddish
with black boots.
838
00:39:50,126 --> 00:39:51,911
[phone buzzes]
839
00:39:52,085 --> 00:39:54,217
[whispers]
- Where is this coming from?
- I don'’t know.
840
00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:56,219
[mother]
Did you know? What is this?
841
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:58,308
[Bill] It'’s fully thought out.[mother]
Where is this coming from?
842
00:39:58,483 --> 00:39:59,962
[Bill] It'’s fully realized.[mother] Yeah, it is.
843
00:40:00,136 --> 00:40:01,355
["Congratulations" playing
on phone]
844
00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:02,835
Hey, it'’s not
phone time right now.
845
00:40:03,009 --> 00:40:05,228
Come on, honey. Put it away.
846
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:09,972
Do you have any idea why Satan
would come visit you
in your room?
847
00:40:10,146 --> 00:40:11,496
Well, because I wrote him
a letter.
848
00:40:11,670 --> 00:40:15,369
And again,
why were you writing to Satan?
849
00:40:15,543 --> 00:40:17,023
No, I wasn'’t.
850
00:40:17,197 --> 00:40:18,981
I meant to write it to Santa,
851
00:40:19,155 --> 00:40:21,723
but I mixed up the letters
and it went to Satan.
852
00:40:21,897 --> 00:40:23,159
Didn'’t you jot that one down?
853
00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:26,032
- Hey. Liam. Calm down.
- I'’m sorry.
854
00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:29,209
It'’s been a tough year,
with the tragedy and all.
855
00:40:29,383 --> 00:40:33,779
I know it might sound crazy,
but the devil came to
my bedroom.
856
00:40:33,953 --> 00:40:35,389
With God as my witness.
857
00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:40,089
So, is God witnessing you now
as well, Liam?
858
00:40:40,263 --> 00:40:42,570
No. That was an expression.
859
00:40:42,744 --> 00:40:45,660
Mom, I really need to
talk to you about--Not right now, Liam.
860
00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:47,619
We need to finish talking
with Dr. Finkleman, okay?
861
00:40:47,793 --> 00:40:49,359
And make sure you tell him
the truth.
862
00:40:49,534 --> 00:40:51,666
I am telling him the truth!
I already told you that.
863
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,842
[coughing][mother] He'’s here to help us.
864
00:40:58,978 --> 00:41:02,024
[strained]
No, it'’s okay.
I got something stuck.
865
00:41:03,678 --> 00:41:05,419
Dr. Finkleman,
can I get you a water?
866
00:41:07,203 --> 00:41:08,378
I'’m gonna get it.
867
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,686
[stifled cough]
868
00:41:12,252 --> 00:41:13,340
[neck cracks]
869
00:41:13,514 --> 00:41:15,429
Oh, my God. Are you okay?[coughs]
870
00:41:16,256 --> 00:41:17,213
[chair piece clatters]
871
00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:19,346
[coughs] Sorry.
872
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,304
[coughing continues]
873
00:41:25,787 --> 00:41:28,224
[swallows, exhales]
874
00:41:28,398 --> 00:41:31,140
Okay, then if that'’s the truth,
thank you for being honest
with us.
875
00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:33,665
[Liam]
So, do you believe me?
876
00:41:34,404 --> 00:41:35,449
Of course we believe you.
877
00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:37,320
[phone buzzes]
878
00:41:38,321 --> 00:41:39,322
[whispers] He'’s nuts.
879
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:40,889
Oh, God.[sighs]
880
00:41:41,586 --> 00:41:42,935
[doorbell rings]
881
00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:47,983
Liam.
882
00:41:56,252 --> 00:41:57,210
Hi there.
883
00:41:58,167 --> 00:41:59,386
Can I help you?
884
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,997
I'’m Gibby, Liam'’s friend.
885
00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:03,695
The football player with cancer.
886
00:42:05,174 --> 00:42:06,698
Gibby!
887
00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:09,657
It is so nice to
- finally meet you.
- Oh.
888
00:42:09,831 --> 00:42:11,920
Nice to meet you too,
Mrs. Turner.
889
00:42:12,094 --> 00:42:15,054
Um, how--
how is everything going?
Are you feeling okay?
890
00:42:15,228 --> 00:42:18,884
You know, some good days,
some bad days. Mostly bad.
891
00:42:19,058 --> 00:42:21,582
Oh, well, come on in the house.
Let me get you something
to drink.
892
00:42:21,756 --> 00:42:24,063
Oh, no, thank you,
Mrs. Turner.
I don'’t have time.
893
00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:26,021
I'’m just here to pick up Liam
894
00:42:26,195 --> 00:42:29,242
because he promised me to
go to my chemo session with me
tonight.
895
00:42:30,069 --> 00:42:31,287
- Yeah.
- Oh.
896
00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:32,724
Mom, I was trying
to tell you about that.
897
00:42:32,898 --> 00:42:34,160
Um...
898
00:42:34,334 --> 00:42:36,249
But I can go, right?
I mean, Gibby needs me.
899
00:42:36,423 --> 00:42:39,078
Oh, well,
I'’m not sure if you--
900
00:42:39,252 --> 00:42:40,949
- Bill?
- I mean-- I--
901
00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:49,218
Of course. Yes. Go, Liam.
Go... Go support your friend.
902
00:42:50,176 --> 00:42:52,091
- Do you guys need a ride?
- No need.
903
00:42:52,265 --> 00:42:54,659
[parents gasp]
I'’m on the job.
Howdy there, folks.
904
00:42:54,833 --> 00:42:57,226
I'’m Gibby'’s dad,
Gibby the first,
Gibby Senior.
905
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,185
Great to meet.
906
00:42:59,359 --> 00:43:01,535
I'’ll be taking
these two eager beavers
over to the clinic,
907
00:43:01,709 --> 00:43:04,494
and then, if it'’s okay with you,
I'’d like to take them out
for a little boba.
908
00:43:04,669 --> 00:43:07,106
How about that, guys?
How'’s that sound? Little boba?
909
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,500
♪ Bo-boba-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boba
Bo-boba-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-boba ♪
910
00:43:10,675 --> 00:43:13,634
[chuckles] We love boba.
We can'’t get enough of that b--
those bobas.
911
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,376
[stammers] You'’re Gibby'’s dad?
912
00:43:16,550 --> 00:43:19,248
Yes, ma'’am. Unfortunately,
he gets his good looks
from his mom,
913
00:43:19,422 --> 00:43:22,382
if you know what I mean.
[laughs, bleats]
914
00:43:22,556 --> 00:43:27,561
Anyway, we really appreciate
Liam being such a big support
to Gibby.
915
00:43:27,735 --> 00:43:29,694
Time with good friends
is so important.
916
00:43:29,868 --> 00:43:31,043
Especially when
you don'’t know...
917
00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:33,001
[whispers]
...how much time you got left.
918
00:43:33,175 --> 00:43:34,350
- Yeah.
- But, uh...
919
00:43:34,524 --> 00:43:36,396
[snorts]
...great kid.
920
00:43:36,570 --> 00:43:38,790
You did something right.
Come on, guys. Let'’s go.
921
00:43:39,747 --> 00:43:42,228
- Yeah!
- Okay, uh, bye.
922
00:43:43,272 --> 00:43:44,273
See you later.
923
00:43:45,797 --> 00:43:49,061
Okay. Have fun at chemo.
924
00:43:51,454 --> 00:43:53,631
[Liam]
Did you just lie
about chemotherapy?
925
00:43:55,415 --> 00:43:56,851
Do you know how wrong that is?
926
00:43:57,025 --> 00:43:59,158
I do,
and I'’m not proud of it.
927
00:43:59,332 --> 00:44:01,073
I guess the devil made me do it.
928
00:44:01,247 --> 00:44:03,423
What the hell is going on?
929
00:44:03,597 --> 00:44:05,120
[car door opens]
It wasn'’t my idea.
930
00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:06,948
He came to my house and told me
931
00:44:07,122 --> 00:44:09,168
that you wanted me
to go to the concert too.[horn honking]
932
00:44:09,342 --> 00:44:12,867
Come on, you chupacabras!
Hurry up. We'’re gonna be
late for the concert.
933
00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:23,922
[chattering, cheering]
934
00:44:27,839 --> 00:44:29,754
[Gibby] This is so cool.
935
00:44:29,928 --> 00:44:32,191
I'’ve never been
backstage before.
936
00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:34,236
Now, listen up,
mouse knuckle.
937
00:44:34,410 --> 00:44:37,022
If you want this girl to
find you interesting enough to
fall for you,
938
00:44:37,196 --> 00:44:39,677
you'’re gonna have to...
[snorts] ...you know.
939
00:44:39,851 --> 00:44:41,504
What? Be myself?
940
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,898
No! Do not do that.
941
00:44:44,072 --> 00:44:45,291
You'’re gonna have to trick her.
942
00:44:45,465 --> 00:44:47,510
Trick her?
I don'’t wanna trick her.
943
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:50,949
I just wanna make sure
she gets to see the real me.
944
00:44:51,123 --> 00:44:52,428
[laughs]
945
00:44:52,602 --> 00:44:54,822
And what'’s the real you, Liam?
946
00:44:54,996 --> 00:44:58,696
A good and kind
and, I think,
a sensitive person.
947
00:44:58,870 --> 00:45:00,088
Hold up.
948
00:45:00,262 --> 00:45:01,786
Can I give you
some free advice?
949
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,223
You wanna get ahead
in the world,
950
00:45:04,397 --> 00:45:06,268
you gotta think about
yourself first.
951
00:45:06,442 --> 00:45:08,662
Numero uno.
It'’s a time-tested formula.
952
00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:10,969
Just look at your politicians.
953
00:45:11,143 --> 00:45:13,145
Okay.
You know how when
you'’re on a plane,
954
00:45:13,319 --> 00:45:16,017
they say, "Put on
your oxygen mask first
before helping others"?
955
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:18,846
- Yeah?
- Like that.
956
00:45:19,020 --> 00:45:22,371
Except maybe you don'’t even
have to help anyone else
with their mask, right?
957
00:45:22,545 --> 00:45:25,026
Who wants to share oxygen
when a plane'’s going down, anyway?
958
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,854
[laughs] Up top.
959
00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:32,207
We need to work on that.
960
00:45:32,381 --> 00:45:35,341
You two pieces of
belly button lint wait here.
I'’ll be right back.
961
00:45:37,604 --> 00:45:38,648
What'’s up?
962
00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:41,086
[whooshes]
963
00:45:44,698 --> 00:45:46,134
Whoa!
964
00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:48,223
It'’s Post Malone!
965
00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:50,443
Shut up.
966
00:45:50,617 --> 00:45:51,879
Liam!
967
00:45:52,053 --> 00:45:53,011
Dude!
968
00:45:53,185 --> 00:45:54,316
What is up, man?
969
00:45:54,490 --> 00:45:55,796
How are you, man?
970
00:45:55,970 --> 00:45:57,102
You know Liam?
971
00:45:57,276 --> 00:45:58,364
Hell yeah, I know Liam.
972
00:45:58,538 --> 00:46:00,409
Liam is my inspiration.
973
00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:02,760
Liam is--
is my motivation, dude.
974
00:46:02,934 --> 00:46:06,111
You'’re what drives me, man.
Thank you so much
for what you do.
975
00:46:06,285 --> 00:46:09,636
Hey, hey, hey. What'’s up?
I see you'’ve already caught up
with Posty.
976
00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:12,030
What'’s up, bro?
- Great to see you.
- What'’s up, dude? Yes, sir.
977
00:46:12,204 --> 00:46:16,208
Look, I have to go,
but I wanted you to know.
978
00:46:16,382 --> 00:46:18,993
I am going to
kick this show'’s ass,
979
00:46:19,167 --> 00:46:21,648
and I wanna dedicate it
to you tonight, man.
980
00:46:21,822 --> 00:46:24,129
I gotta go, dude,
but I love you so much, man.
981
00:46:24,303 --> 00:46:27,436
You'’re a living legend.
You'’re an absolute stud.
982
00:46:27,610 --> 00:46:29,787
You'’re the biggest beast
on planet Earth, Liam.
983
00:46:29,961 --> 00:46:31,658
You'’re the biggest rock star
in the universe.
984
00:46:31,832 --> 00:46:34,226
I love you so much,
and I'’ll see you
after the show, man.
985
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,836
- Let'’s go!
- What'’s going on here?
986
00:46:36,010 --> 00:46:38,404
[sighs] Once again,
and hopefully for the last time,
987
00:46:38,578 --> 00:46:39,971
I can do cool shit.
988
00:46:40,145 --> 00:46:42,016
But how'’d you get him to
know who I am?
989
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:44,976
I put him under
a simple, little spell.
990
00:46:45,150 --> 00:46:47,282
Don'’t worry,
- it'’s only temporary.
- But--
991
00:46:47,456 --> 00:46:50,546
Don'’t ask how
the sausage gets made, okay?
992
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:53,027
Here you go, Gibby.
You'’re in the nosebleeds.
993
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:57,510
Nosebleeds?
But I wanna sit with Liam.
994
00:46:57,684 --> 00:47:00,469
Look, even Satan can'’t
outtrick Ticketmaster.
I'’m not a bot.
995
00:47:00,643 --> 00:47:02,254
[phone buzzes]
996
00:47:03,908 --> 00:47:07,085
It'’s Emma.
She'’s at the seats.
I gotta go.
997
00:47:07,259 --> 00:47:09,609
Get going, Liam.["Congratulations" playing
in distance, crowd cheers]
998
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:12,264
Gibby, the nosebleeds
are that way and to the left.
See you later.
999
00:47:12,438 --> 00:47:13,961
Let'’s go!
1000
00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:15,223
Yeah!
1001
00:47:15,397 --> 00:47:17,182
Posty time. You excited?
1002
00:47:17,356 --> 00:47:19,053
I am too. Let'’s do this.
1003
00:47:19,227 --> 00:47:20,533
[cheering]
1004
00:47:22,361 --> 00:47:25,843
♪ My mama called
Seen you on TV, son ♪
1005
00:47:26,017 --> 00:47:30,238
♪ Said shit done changed
Ever since we was on ♪
1006
00:47:30,412 --> 00:47:33,720
♪ I dreamed it all
Ever since I was young ♪
1007
00:47:33,894 --> 00:47:35,896
♪ They said
I wouldn'’t be nothing ♪
1008
00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:39,595
♪ Now they always say ♪[audience] ♪ Congratulations ♪
1009
00:47:39,769 --> 00:47:42,947
♪ Worked so hard
Forgot how to vacation ♪
1010
00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:46,907
♪ They ain'’t never had
The dedication ♪
1011
00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:50,911
♪ People hatin'’, say we changed
And look, we made it ♪
1012
00:47:51,085 --> 00:47:53,000
♪ Yeah, we made it ♪
1013
00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:56,612
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey![audience cheering]
1014
00:47:58,658 --> 00:47:59,920
Whoo!
1015
00:48:01,226 --> 00:48:02,967
[whooping, cheering]
1016
00:48:05,447 --> 00:48:07,275
Thank you so very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
1017
00:48:07,449 --> 00:48:08,711
Thank you so very much.
1018
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:10,496
I had the most amazing night,
1019
00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:13,194
and I appreciate y'’all'’s love
so very much.
1020
00:48:13,368 --> 00:48:15,849
But, uh,
I wanted to take a moment
1021
00:48:16,023 --> 00:48:21,550
and I wanted to bring up, uh,
probably the most important man
to my career,
1022
00:48:21,724 --> 00:48:24,205
and, uh,
the inspiration for my music,
1023
00:48:24,379 --> 00:48:28,862
and the absolute
biggest living legend,
um, of all time.
1024
00:48:29,036 --> 00:48:31,299
Would you please
come up here, man?
Liam Turner.
1025
00:48:31,473 --> 00:48:33,301
[audience cheering]
1026
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:35,651
What?
1027
00:48:35,825 --> 00:48:37,305
Oh!
1028
00:48:37,479 --> 00:48:40,178
Yeah! Liam! Liam!
1029
00:48:40,352 --> 00:48:42,920
[audience chanting]
Liam! Liam! Liam!
1030
00:48:43,094 --> 00:48:45,574
That'’s so cool! How come
you never said anything?
1031
00:48:47,402 --> 00:48:49,491
[chanting continues]
1032
00:48:55,323 --> 00:48:57,151
[cheering]
1033
00:48:59,284 --> 00:49:00,546
Yeah!
1034
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:01,939
I don'’t know what to do.
1035
00:49:02,113 --> 00:49:04,158
I can'’t sing,
rap, dance, anything!
1036
00:49:04,332 --> 00:49:06,160
Have we built no trust here?
1037
00:49:06,334 --> 00:49:07,857
But what if I look stupid?
1038
00:49:08,032 --> 00:49:09,990
You'’ve been looking stupid
your whole life, kid.
1039
00:49:10,164 --> 00:49:11,861
This is your chance
to show '’em you'’re not.
1040
00:49:14,168 --> 00:49:15,169
Let'’s go.
1041
00:49:15,343 --> 00:49:16,823
[chuckles] Yeah.
You got this.
1042
00:49:16,997 --> 00:49:18,433
Yeah!
1043
00:49:18,607 --> 00:49:20,174
[audience cheers]
1044
00:49:20,348 --> 00:49:22,089
You rock, Liam!
1045
00:49:23,656 --> 00:49:25,353
You got anything
you wanna say, Liam?
1046
00:49:29,531 --> 00:49:31,664
This song is dedicated to Emma.
1047
00:49:31,838 --> 00:49:33,622
[audience cheering]
1048
00:49:35,581 --> 00:49:37,452
["I Like You" playing]
1049
00:49:37,626 --> 00:49:38,888
Oh, my God.
Is that Liam?
1050
00:49:39,063 --> 00:49:40,238
Wait, that is Liam!
1051
00:49:40,412 --> 00:49:41,891
Get a video.
- Get a video.
- Oh, my God!
1052
00:49:42,066 --> 00:49:43,632
Oh, my God.
- Liam! Liam!
- Liam!
1053
00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:46,940
♪ Ooh, girl, I like you
I do ♪
1054
00:49:47,114 --> 00:49:49,203
♪ I wanna be your friend
Go shoppin'’ in a Benz ♪
1055
00:49:49,377 --> 00:49:51,945
♪ I like you, I do ♪[audience cheering]
1056
00:49:52,119 --> 00:49:54,382
♪ I'’ll hit you when I land
Can you fit me in your plans?♪
1057
00:49:54,556 --> 00:49:56,689
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1058
00:49:56,863 --> 00:49:59,039
♪ We went over to France
And we woke up in Japan ♪
1059
00:49:59,213 --> 00:50:01,476
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1060
00:50:01,650 --> 00:50:03,478
♪ Mmm, yeah ♪
1061
00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:05,959
♪ Oh, girl,
I know you only like it fancy ♪
1062
00:50:06,133 --> 00:50:08,396
♪ So I pull up
In that Maybach Candy ♪
1063
00:50:08,570 --> 00:50:10,790
♪ Yeah, your boyfriend
Will never understand me ♪
1064
00:50:10,964 --> 00:50:12,574
♪ '’Cause I'’m about to
Pull this girl like a hammy ♪
1065
00:50:12,748 --> 00:50:14,315
[laughs]
1066
00:50:14,489 --> 00:50:15,403
♪ Let'’s take a lil dip
Lil lady...♪
1067
00:50:15,577 --> 00:50:16,535
Come on!
1068
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:18,363
♪ Hit PCH, 180 ♪
1069
00:50:18,537 --> 00:50:19,799
♪ Girl,
I'’ve been thinkin'’ lately...♪
1070
00:50:19,973 --> 00:50:21,018
Come up.
1071
00:50:21,192 --> 00:50:23,759
[Post] Emma![audience cheers]
1072
00:50:23,933 --> 00:50:26,240
That looks like fun.
I gotta get in there.
1073
00:50:28,112 --> 00:50:32,072
♪ But I need a good girl
I need someone to ground me ♪
1074
00:50:32,246 --> 00:50:34,770
♪ So please be true
Don'’t... around with me ♪
1075
00:50:34,944 --> 00:50:36,816
♪ I need someone to
Share this heart with me ♪
1076
00:50:36,990 --> 00:50:39,993
♪ Feel you up
Then run it back again ♪
1077
00:50:41,168 --> 00:50:44,258
♪ But, girl, I like you
I do ♪
1078
00:50:44,432 --> 00:50:46,304
♪ I wanna be your friend
Go shoppin'’ in a Benz ♪
1079
00:50:46,478 --> 00:50:48,567
♪ I like you, I do... ♪
1080
00:50:48,741 --> 00:50:51,048
[audience chanting]
Go, Emma! Go, Emma! Go, Emma!
1081
00:50:51,222 --> 00:50:53,528
♪ ...I like you, I do... ♪
1082
00:50:53,702 --> 00:50:56,183
[audience chanting]
Go, Liam! Go, Liam!
1083
00:50:56,357 --> 00:50:58,881
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1084
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:01,710
- [Post] Hey, hey!
- We love you, Liam!
1085
00:51:02,885 --> 00:51:04,191
Hey, that'’s my bestie.
1086
00:51:04,365 --> 00:51:05,975
Wanna go backstage with me
and meet him after?
1087
00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:07,542
Are you kidding? Yes!
1088
00:51:10,241 --> 00:51:12,895
But I can'’t.
I kinda have a boyfriend.
1089
00:51:14,506 --> 00:51:16,943
It wasn'’t a date.
It was more of a meet and greet.
1090
00:51:18,031 --> 00:51:19,815
[audience chanting]
Go, Post! Go, Post!
1091
00:51:19,989 --> 00:51:22,296
Go, Post! Go, Post!
1092
00:51:34,830 --> 00:51:37,703
[Satan laughs] Yes!
1093
00:51:39,270 --> 00:51:41,141
I could go all night.
I love this.
1094
00:51:41,315 --> 00:51:43,622
[Post] Let'’s go![Satan] Let'’s go!
1095
00:51:55,416 --> 00:51:56,896
[line ringing]
1096
00:51:58,767 --> 00:52:00,639
[Gibby] Hey. Where'’d you go tonight?
1097
00:52:00,813 --> 00:52:04,208
You have early onset dementia?
I was at the concert.
1098
00:52:04,382 --> 00:52:06,035
No, I mean after the show.
1099
00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:08,037
I looked all over for you
when I got offstage.
1100
00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:09,909
We were doing some fun stuff.
1101
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:13,391
I left early.
Ubered home.
I was bored.
1102
00:52:13,565 --> 00:52:15,654
What?
I danced with Post Malone
1103
00:52:15,828 --> 00:52:18,657
then made out with Emma,
and that bored you?
1104
00:52:18,831 --> 00:52:20,659
You didn'’t make out with her.
1105
00:52:20,833 --> 00:52:22,356
It was just one kiss.
1106
00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:24,315
And I don'’t think
she even touched your lip.
1107
00:52:24,489 --> 00:52:27,231
She did touch my lip. Looked like cheek to me.
1108
00:52:27,405 --> 00:52:30,625
[Liam] It was way more
lip than cheek. Way more.
1109
00:52:31,931 --> 00:52:33,411
Wait, I thought you said
you left early.
1110
00:52:33,585 --> 00:52:35,891
[Gibby] Yeah,
right after the cheek kiss.
1111
00:52:36,065 --> 00:52:39,547
[Liam] Lip kiss!
She got the corner, I swear.
1112
00:52:39,721 --> 00:52:42,289
[Gibby] Oh, you swear?
To God or to the devil?
1113
00:52:42,463 --> 00:52:43,725
[Liam] Come on, Gibby.
1114
00:52:43,899 --> 00:52:45,640
Just because Satan'’s come
into my life,
1115
00:52:45,814 --> 00:52:47,555
doesn'’t mean I worship him now.
1116
00:52:48,382 --> 00:52:49,427
[Gibby] Oh, you sure?
1117
00:52:53,213 --> 00:52:54,127
What'’s wrong?
1118
00:52:55,302 --> 00:52:56,695
I think you better come
hear this.
1119
00:52:57,870 --> 00:52:58,914
Okay.
1120
00:53:02,788 --> 00:53:03,832
[floorboard creaks]
1121
00:53:08,010 --> 00:53:09,838
[Liam]
I never thought I'’d say this,
1122
00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:12,319
but meeting Satan might be
the best thing
that ever happened to me.
1123
00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:14,713
[whispering] Satan?[Gibby]
So you'’re not worried about him
1124
00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:16,497
tricking you into more wishes? When did he meet Satan?
1125
00:53:16,671 --> 00:53:18,282
- I don'’t know. Shh.
- What does that even mean?
1126
00:53:18,456 --> 00:53:20,719
[Liam] Nope. I'’m one and done.
No more wishes necessary.
1127
00:53:20,893 --> 00:53:24,505
And by the way, tomorrow'’s
the big Christmas carnival.
1128
00:53:24,679 --> 00:53:27,029
It'’s gonna be
the best night ever.
1129
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:29,902
The night where
it all goes down.
1130
00:53:30,076 --> 00:53:31,338
- What'’s going down?
- What?
1131
00:53:31,512 --> 00:53:32,513
- What'’s gonna go down?
- I don'’t know.
1132
00:53:32,687 --> 00:53:34,472
[door thuds][chattering]
1133
00:53:34,646 --> 00:53:36,648
Hold on.
I think someone'’s at the door.
1134
00:53:49,835 --> 00:53:51,837
Must'’ve been Blitzen.
Where were we?
1135
00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:55,536
You were saying tomorrow night,
it all goes down.
What goes down?
1136
00:53:55,710 --> 00:53:58,887
I'’m gonna kiss Emma for real.
On the lips.
1137
00:53:59,061 --> 00:54:00,976
Then there will be no question,
buddy boy.
1138
00:54:01,150 --> 00:54:02,804
Yeah, that'’s great.
1139
00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:05,590
Gib. I finally got
the girl of my dreams.
1140
00:54:05,764 --> 00:54:06,982
Why aren'’t you happy for me?
1141
00:54:07,156 --> 00:54:08,810
I'’m happy for you.
1142
00:54:08,984 --> 00:54:10,247
Come on, Gibby.
What'’s wrong?
1143
00:54:10,421 --> 00:54:12,901
This is what'’s wrong. This.
1144
00:54:14,468 --> 00:54:16,557
[sighs]
Look, you get to be the star,
1145
00:54:16,731 --> 00:54:18,777
and I can'’t even get a girl to
talk to me.
1146
00:54:18,951 --> 00:54:21,388
[sighs] You know what, man?
1147
00:54:21,562 --> 00:54:23,695
I'’m just gonna hang up.
I'’ll see you.[call ends]
1148
00:54:23,869 --> 00:54:25,174
Oh, wait, Gib!
1149
00:54:25,784 --> 00:54:26,785
[sighs]
1150
00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:29,266
[bird chitters,
wings flapping]
1151
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:30,789
[thuds][Satan grunts, exclaims]
1152
00:54:30,963 --> 00:54:31,877
[squawks]
1153
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,924
[Satan]
Oh, it'’s freezing.
It'’s colder than a witch'’s tit.
1154
00:54:36,098 --> 00:54:38,144
Why can'’t you leave
the damn window open?
1155
00:54:38,318 --> 00:54:40,015
It gets chilly out here.
1156
00:54:40,189 --> 00:54:42,844
Come on. Open the window!
1157
00:54:43,018 --> 00:54:45,325
[squawks]
I'’m used to heat, man.
1158
00:54:47,501 --> 00:54:49,286
[squawking]
1159
00:54:51,723 --> 00:54:53,420
[snorts, groans]
1160
00:54:54,465 --> 00:54:56,815
Did you have to
turn into a vulture?
1161
00:54:56,989 --> 00:55:00,427
What, too on the nose?
I was wondering about that.
I should'’ve gone for a bat.
1162
00:55:00,601 --> 00:55:03,909
[gasps]
How much fun was that tonight?
1163
00:55:04,083 --> 00:55:05,563
[chuckles]
1164
00:55:05,737 --> 00:55:06,912
It was very fun.
1165
00:55:07,086 --> 00:55:08,217
[sighs] I'’d almost forgotten
1166
00:55:08,392 --> 00:55:10,132
how much fun it was to dance
like that.
1167
00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:12,004
Just dance like
no one was watching you.
1168
00:55:12,178 --> 00:55:14,746
Except the whole auditorium was,
and that made it even better.
1169
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:16,791
[inhales] Booyah!
1170
00:55:16,965 --> 00:55:18,445
Hey.
1171
00:55:18,619 --> 00:55:20,317
Did your gal Emma
have a nice time?
1172
00:55:20,491 --> 00:55:22,275
Yes.
1173
00:55:22,449 --> 00:55:25,147
A very good time.
I wanna thank you for that.
1174
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:29,630
Ew! Look, kid,
do not be polite with me, okay?
1175
00:55:29,804 --> 00:55:33,068
I'’m not a fan of that crap.
It'’s like nails on a chalkboard.
1176
00:55:33,242 --> 00:55:35,462
Oh. I apologize for that, sir.
1177
00:55:35,636 --> 00:55:37,856
Ugh! There you go again!
1178
00:55:38,030 --> 00:55:40,467
You know,
you'’re starting to annoy me.
1179
00:55:40,641 --> 00:55:43,514
I come all the way up here
to offer you any three wishes
you want,
1180
00:55:43,688 --> 00:55:45,516
and what does
Mr. Goody Goody say?
1181
00:55:45,690 --> 00:55:47,256
"Nah, I'’ll just take one."
1182
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:49,607
You'’re making me look bad.
1183
00:55:49,781 --> 00:55:53,350
Actually, I wanted to ask you
a question about your offer.
1184
00:55:55,482 --> 00:55:56,788
Do go on.
1185
00:55:57,832 --> 00:55:59,225
So, you said
1186
00:55:59,399 --> 00:56:02,533
you'’d only own my soul
if I made three wishes.
1187
00:56:02,707 --> 00:56:04,796
- Is that true?
- I swear to God.
1188
00:56:05,536 --> 00:56:06,537
So, that m--
1189
00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:09,104
You swear to God?
1190
00:56:09,278 --> 00:56:10,584
It'’s a figure of speech.
1191
00:56:10,758 --> 00:56:12,847
I also say "go to hell"
when I'’m pissed,
1192
00:56:13,021 --> 00:56:15,763
even though that'’d be like
other people saying,
"Let'’s go to Bermuda."
1193
00:56:15,937 --> 00:56:19,158
Okay, good.
I'’d like to make my second wish.
1194
00:56:19,332 --> 00:56:23,467
[laughs]
Finally! Here we go.
I was getting worried about you.
1195
00:56:23,641 --> 00:56:24,642
So...
1196
00:56:26,121 --> 00:56:27,558
what'’ll it be?
1197
00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:39,483
Hi, Liam.
1198
00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:43,965
Uh, hi? I guess.
1199
00:56:45,532 --> 00:56:47,186
Good morning, buddy boy.
1200
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,144
Somebody'’s
in a good mood today.
1201
00:56:49,318 --> 00:56:53,410
Why wouldn'’t I be?
It'’s a super-duper day to
be alive.
1202
00:56:53,584 --> 00:56:57,109
Dude, you look awesome!
What happened?
1203
00:56:57,283 --> 00:57:01,287
I woke up this morning,
and my teeth were just fixed.
1204
00:57:01,461 --> 00:57:04,943
My mom always told me
I'’d grow into them,
and I guess she was right.
1205
00:57:05,117 --> 00:57:08,468
My parents are happy.
They were about to take me
to go get braces.
1206
00:57:08,642 --> 00:57:09,861
Perfect timing.
1207
00:57:10,035 --> 00:57:11,384
What? Why?
1208
00:57:11,558 --> 00:57:13,212
Me and Emma are going
to the carnival tonight.
1209
00:57:13,386 --> 00:57:14,953
Maybe you wanna double-date?
1210
00:57:15,127 --> 00:57:17,521
You don'’t think
she'’d feel like a third wheel?
1211
00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:22,177
No, I mean "double date"
as in you bring a girl.
1212
00:57:22,351 --> 00:57:26,617
I guess I could ask
my cousin Arielle,
but she'’s kinda picky.
1213
00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:28,619
No, not someone
you'’re related to.
1214
00:57:28,793 --> 00:57:30,098
A real girl.
1215
00:57:30,272 --> 00:57:31,839
I mean, you are a stud.
1216
00:57:32,013 --> 00:57:34,189
S-U-T-D. A stud.
1217
00:57:34,363 --> 00:57:37,323
Actually, maybe you'’re right.
1218
00:57:37,497 --> 00:57:40,108
Me being this handsome
might magically attract girls,
1219
00:57:40,282 --> 00:57:42,850
so, you know,
why bring sand to the beach?
1220
00:57:43,024 --> 00:57:45,157
Tonight,
I could be a free agent.
1221
00:57:45,897 --> 00:57:46,811
Now you'’re talkin'’.
1222
00:57:46,985 --> 00:57:47,942
See you.
1223
00:57:48,116 --> 00:57:50,292
["Christmas in Hollis" playing]
1224
00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:51,468
Hey, Gibby.
1225
00:57:58,431 --> 00:57:59,476
[gasps]
1226
00:58:04,219 --> 00:58:06,047
This is dope.
1227
00:58:06,874 --> 00:58:07,875
Very.
1228
00:58:09,094 --> 00:58:11,444
[laughing, chattering]
1229
00:58:17,798 --> 00:58:19,452
Hey, look. That'’s Liam.
1230
00:58:19,626 --> 00:58:21,410
That is him. Isn'’t it?
1231
00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:23,500
This is sick, buddy.
1232
00:58:23,674 --> 00:58:26,111
Somehow or another,
we became the cool kids.
1233
00:58:26,285 --> 00:58:27,765
Who would'’ve thunk it?
[chuckles]
1234
00:58:27,939 --> 00:58:29,462
Hey, where'’s Emma?
1235
00:58:29,636 --> 00:58:31,333
Uh, she should be here
any minute.
1236
00:58:36,382 --> 00:58:39,037
Do you really think
this is necessary?
1237
00:58:39,211 --> 00:58:42,823
Molly, I don'’t know about you,
but-- but I-I-I'’m terrified.
1238
00:58:42,997 --> 00:58:45,043
He'’s been talking nonstop
about Satan.[sighs]
1239
00:58:45,217 --> 00:58:46,827
But are we sure
that we heard him say "Satan"
1240
00:58:47,001 --> 00:58:49,177
and not "Jason" or "Layton" or--
1241
00:58:49,351 --> 00:58:52,224
- Who'’s Jason or Layton?
- I have no idea.
I'’m reaching.
1242
00:58:52,398 --> 00:58:54,226
Listen, we both definitely
heard him say
1243
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,315
that tonight is the night
it all goes down.
1244
00:58:56,968 --> 00:58:58,012
We gotta do somethin'’.
1245
00:58:58,926 --> 00:58:59,971
Hey, guys.
1246
00:59:00,145 --> 00:59:01,625
Sorry I'’m late.
1247
00:59:01,799 --> 00:59:03,627
Gibby, you look so good.
1248
00:59:03,801 --> 00:59:05,150
Everyone'’s talking about it.
1249
00:59:05,324 --> 00:59:07,065
Thanks, Emma. [chuckles]
1250
00:59:07,239 --> 00:59:09,371
I can'’t believe how much fun
that was last night, Liam.
1251
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,809
Yeah, that was pretty fun.
1252
00:59:11,983 --> 00:59:13,375
You'’re so humble.
1253
00:59:13,550 --> 00:59:15,856
You never let on at all
about any of your talents.
1254
00:59:17,641 --> 00:59:18,685
I'’ma get a corn dog.
1255
00:59:20,165 --> 00:59:21,601
Uh, do you guys want one?
1256
00:59:21,775 --> 00:59:22,602
Sure.
1257
00:59:22,776 --> 00:59:24,038
- Yeah.
- All right.
1258
00:59:24,212 --> 00:59:25,257
Be right back.
1259
00:59:26,737 --> 00:59:27,694
[sighs]
1260
00:59:28,347 --> 00:59:29,304
Are you ready?
1261
00:59:29,478 --> 00:59:30,523
Yeah.
1262
00:59:32,786 --> 00:59:33,874
Go get him.
1263
00:59:34,048 --> 00:59:35,180
Me?
1264
00:59:35,354 --> 00:59:37,051
Yeah. You'’re--
He listens to you.
1265
00:59:37,225 --> 00:59:38,313
[sighs]
1266
00:59:40,664 --> 00:59:42,579
- I'’m the driver.
- Fine, fine.
1267
00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:48,585
You got it.
1268
00:59:51,022 --> 00:59:52,197
[vendor] Come and get them.
1269
00:59:52,371 --> 00:59:54,982
Nitrates, sodium,
artificial flavors.
1270
00:59:55,156 --> 00:59:56,680
Really bad for you.
1271
00:59:56,854 --> 00:59:57,768
Oh, hey there, kid.
1272
00:59:57,942 --> 00:59:59,465
What are you doing here?
1273
00:59:59,639 --> 01:00:01,206
I'’m just staying close by,
you know,
1274
01:00:01,380 --> 01:00:04,426
in case I'’m needed for, uh,
say, a third and final wish.
1275
01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:06,907
Yeah, well, you won'’t be.
1276
01:00:07,081 --> 01:00:08,779
And I wanna thank you
for your service.
1277
01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:11,390
You wanna thank me
for my service?
1278
01:00:11,564 --> 01:00:15,263
I'’m done.
I really don'’t need
anything else.
1279
01:00:15,437 --> 01:00:18,527
Mm-hmm.
Can I ask you something?
1280
01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:21,139
Why aren'’t you taking credit
for what you did for your buddy?
1281
01:00:21,313 --> 01:00:23,358
What? Why should I?
1282
01:00:23,532 --> 01:00:26,100
I mean, literally
the only reason to
do stuff for other people
1283
01:00:26,274 --> 01:00:27,711
is to get the credit.
1284
01:00:27,885 --> 01:00:29,147
So then they owe you something.
1285
01:00:29,321 --> 01:00:31,062
What about doing
something nice for a person
1286
01:00:31,236 --> 01:00:32,498
because you care about them?
1287
01:00:32,672 --> 01:00:33,891
Like out of kindness.
1288
01:00:34,065 --> 01:00:36,023
I don'’t even know
what you just said.
1289
01:00:36,197 --> 01:00:38,809
I mean, I know all the words,
but I just never heard them
in that order.
1290
01:00:38,983 --> 01:00:40,071
Like a selfless act.
1291
01:00:40,245 --> 01:00:41,420
Still not following.
1292
01:00:41,594 --> 01:00:42,769
Forget it.
1293
01:00:44,553 --> 01:00:47,382
Hey, Mrs. Turner.
Is everything all right?
1294
01:00:48,557 --> 01:00:50,342
I'’m Gibby, Liam'’s friend.
1295
01:00:50,516 --> 01:00:52,518
The football player with cancer.
1296
01:00:52,692 --> 01:00:54,563
Yeah, no, I know.
Gibby, hi.
1297
01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:57,915
God,
you just look so healthy.
1298
01:00:58,089 --> 01:01:01,440
The, uh, treatment
seems to really be working.
1299
01:01:01,614 --> 01:01:04,008
Yes, it'’s, uh,
doing the trick.
1300
01:01:04,182 --> 01:01:08,012
Have, um-- Have you seen Liam?
I-- I just need to talk to him
for a second.
1301
01:01:08,186 --> 01:01:10,841
Yeah, he'’s over there
at the corn dog stand.
1302
01:01:11,015 --> 01:01:12,886
Corn dog. Okay.
Thank you.
1303
01:01:13,060 --> 01:01:14,061
Bye now.
1304
01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,412
It was a pleasure
doing business with you,
1305
01:01:17,586 --> 01:01:20,111
but I made my two wishes
and I wanna enjoy them.
1306
01:01:20,285 --> 01:01:22,940
So no offense, but bye.
1307
01:01:24,898 --> 01:01:27,727
Oh! Oh. And can I get
three corn dogs?
1308
01:01:27,901 --> 01:01:30,034
Not a wish. I'’m paying cash.
1309
01:01:30,208 --> 01:01:31,862
Coming right up!
1310
01:01:32,036 --> 01:01:35,126
Three corn dogs,
extra goat lips.
1311
01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:36,649
On the house.
1312
01:01:37,258 --> 01:01:38,477
Extra spicy.
1313
01:01:41,001 --> 01:01:42,176
Enjoy.
1314
01:01:43,395 --> 01:01:45,876
And don'’t chew
with your mouth open.
It'’s gross.
1315
01:01:51,229 --> 01:01:53,274
Mom,
what are you doing here?
1316
01:01:53,448 --> 01:01:56,016
Liam, I'’ve been looking for you.
I just need you to come with me, please.
1317
01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:57,670
- Right now?
- Yeah, right now.
1318
01:01:57,844 --> 01:01:59,063
But I'’m with my friends.
1319
01:01:59,237 --> 01:02:00,673
Liam, honey,
this will only take a moment.
1320
01:02:00,847 --> 01:02:03,589
Everything'’s okay.
Just come with me.
1321
01:02:03,763 --> 01:02:05,852
What are you doing?
Why are you pulling me so hard?
1322
01:02:06,026 --> 01:02:07,506
- Come on. Hey, come on.
- Emma and Gibby.
1323
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,899
Let'’s go, let'’s go.
It'’s okay.
1324
01:02:09,073 --> 01:02:10,596
- I just-- I missed you.
- No-- Wait.
1325
01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:12,337
- I needed to see you quick.
- What'’s Daddy doing here?
1326
01:02:12,511 --> 01:02:14,252
- Honey, how was the carnival?
- We loved the carnival.
1327
01:02:14,426 --> 01:02:16,384
I got him! I got him!
- All right.
- Liam. Give me the corn dogs!
1328
01:02:16,558 --> 01:02:18,082
Come on. I see it.[Liam] Wait! Help!
1329
01:02:18,256 --> 01:02:20,606
- I see it. I got it.
- Be careful!
Don'’t hurt him.
1330
01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:22,216
- I did it already.
- Liam, lean back.
1331
01:02:22,390 --> 01:02:24,088
Let'’s go.
1332
01:02:24,262 --> 01:02:26,525
Why are you doing this?[Molly]
Because we love you.
1333
01:02:26,699 --> 01:02:29,049
This is a horrible way to
show it.
I'’m on a date.
1334
01:02:29,223 --> 01:02:30,572
[Molly]
Of course you are.
1335
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:40,365
[exhales]
1336
01:02:40,539 --> 01:02:41,540
[clears throat]
1337
01:02:42,846 --> 01:02:44,935
Everything'’s gonna
be all right, Liam.
1338
01:02:45,109 --> 01:02:48,852
We'’re gonna do a few tests
and keep you overnight.
1339
01:02:49,026 --> 01:02:52,420
Now I'’m gonna go talk to
your parents
about a course of treatment.
1340
01:02:53,204 --> 01:02:54,161
Be right back.
1341
01:02:54,858 --> 01:02:56,860
Course of treatment?
1342
01:02:57,034 --> 01:02:59,819
Take me to
Christmas carnival, please.
1343
01:03:05,651 --> 01:03:07,696
What the hell
did they do to you, McMurphy?
1344
01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:09,698
Who'’s McMurphy?
1345
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:11,962
[exclaims] Cuckoo'’s Nest.
1346
01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:14,268
It saddens me
that you don'’t know that.
1347
01:03:15,617 --> 01:03:16,836
Now, listen up, comrade.
1348
01:03:17,010 --> 01:03:18,664
I can get you out of here
in two seconds.
1349
01:03:19,578 --> 01:03:20,971
- Really?
- Of course.
1350
01:03:21,145 --> 01:03:22,755
You'’ve still got
your third wish, remember?
1351
01:03:22,929 --> 01:03:25,192
Yeah, well,
I'’m not giving you my soul.
1352
01:03:25,366 --> 01:03:26,890
No deal.
1353
01:03:27,064 --> 01:03:29,153
Okay, your call.
1354
01:03:29,327 --> 01:03:31,546
Just looks like your friends
are having so much fun
1355
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:33,940
at the Winter
Christmas Carnival.
1356
01:03:36,073 --> 01:03:38,031
[Emma] Liam never even
said goodbye, though.
1357
01:03:38,205 --> 01:03:39,641
I hope he'’s okay.
1358
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,730
Ah, I'’m sure he'’s fine.
1359
01:03:41,905 --> 01:03:43,210
I'’m not fine.
1360
01:03:43,384 --> 01:03:44,908
[Emma]
How are you doing, Gibby?
1361
01:03:45,082 --> 01:03:47,345
Don'’t worry.
I won'’t tell anyone.
1362
01:03:47,519 --> 01:03:52,829
I know how freaked out
people can get when they
find out someone has... cancer.
1363
01:03:53,003 --> 01:03:55,570
[Gibby] Yeah. Oh, you'’ve gotta be joking me.
1364
01:03:55,744 --> 01:03:59,139
[Gibby] They look at you
like you'’re a patient,
not a person.
1365
01:03:59,313 --> 01:04:00,880
You don'’t even have cancer!
1366
01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:03,274
Well, I think
you'’re really brave.
1367
01:04:04,666 --> 01:04:06,538
Soldiers are brave.
1368
01:04:06,712 --> 01:04:09,106
I'’m just courageous.
1369
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,369
[Satan chuckles]
This kid is good.
1370
01:04:11,543 --> 01:04:14,328
You gotta hand it to him.
He'’s got the moves.
1371
01:04:15,286 --> 01:04:16,896
He does not have
the moves at all.
1372
01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:18,376
I don'’t know, Liam.
1373
01:04:18,550 --> 01:04:21,161
Looks like
they'’re really hitting it off.
1374
01:04:21,335 --> 01:04:26,558
Gibby, do you mind me asking
what kind of cancer you have?
1375
01:04:27,298 --> 01:04:30,649
The super-duper bad kind.
1376
01:04:31,476 --> 01:04:32,433
[groans]
1377
01:04:32,607 --> 01:04:33,913
You got to admit, Liam,
1378
01:04:34,087 --> 01:04:35,523
they make a cute couple.
1379
01:04:35,697 --> 01:04:37,221
No, they do not!
1380
01:04:37,395 --> 01:04:38,483
Stop it.
1381
01:04:38,657 --> 01:04:40,572
I know what you'’re trying to do.
1382
01:04:42,269 --> 01:04:44,010
I'’m not making my third wish.
1383
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:45,794
Now get out of here.
1384
01:04:45,969 --> 01:04:47,492
Okay, your call.
1385
01:04:48,536 --> 01:04:51,191
I'’ll just head back to my room.
1386
01:04:51,365 --> 01:04:53,411
You have a room over here?
1387
01:04:53,585 --> 01:04:56,501
I'’m staying at
the Red Rum Motor Lodge.
1388
01:04:56,675 --> 01:04:58,633
You can probably guess
my room number.
1389
01:04:58,807 --> 01:05:00,679
[laughing]
1390
01:05:03,812 --> 01:05:05,902
It'’s 666, just in case
you didn'’t know.
1391
01:05:06,946 --> 01:05:08,861
[sighs]
1392
01:05:15,085 --> 01:05:16,913
It'’s gonna be okay.
1393
01:05:17,087 --> 01:05:20,133
Whatever this is, we'’ll--
we'’ll get through it together.
1394
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:22,135
[Finkleman sighs]
1395
01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:28,794
Uh, I have bad news.
1396
01:05:29,751 --> 01:05:32,363
He does not have a brain tumor.
1397
01:05:32,537 --> 01:05:34,278
[sighs]
Damn it!
1398
01:05:34,452 --> 01:05:35,757
Well, what is it then?
1399
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,237
Why is he acting this way?
1400
01:05:37,411 --> 01:05:40,284
Why are you acting this way?
This is good news.
1401
01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:44,679
Talking about Lucifer
and-and Post Malone.
1402
01:05:44,853 --> 01:05:45,985
That'’s good news?
1403
01:05:46,159 --> 01:05:48,248
Be honest, Doc.
Is there any hope?
1404
01:05:48,422 --> 01:05:52,252
Usually, I--
I'’m a "optimistic person,"
1405
01:05:52,426 --> 01:05:54,385
but in this particular case,
I'’ve gotta tell you,
1406
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:56,256
the delusions seem to
be more acute--Dr. Finkleman.
1407
01:05:56,430 --> 01:05:58,128
Do you know who that is
- in there?
- In where?
1408
01:05:58,302 --> 01:06:00,130
In the imaging room.
1409
01:06:00,304 --> 01:06:02,610
That'’s the kid that
blew Post Malone
off the stage last night.
1410
01:06:02,784 --> 01:06:03,829
- What?
- No, no, no.
1411
01:06:04,003 --> 01:06:05,526
Don'’t-- Don'’t listen to him.
1412
01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:07,354
He-- He'’s--
He'’s a little delirious
right now.
1413
01:06:07,528 --> 01:06:09,226
Mmm. No. I was there.
1414
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:10,879
- Where?
- At the show.
1415
01:06:11,054 --> 01:06:13,708
The kid killed.
He'’s a rock star.
1416
01:06:13,882 --> 01:06:15,406
- Here.
- Is this person a patient?
1417
01:06:15,580 --> 01:06:17,277
This.[audience cheering]
1418
01:06:17,451 --> 01:06:18,496
[Post]
♪ Girl, I like you, I do ♪
1419
01:06:18,670 --> 01:06:20,150
- Right?
- Oh, my God.
1420
01:06:20,324 --> 01:06:22,500
[Bill]
Oh, my God. That'’s Liam![Molly] Liam.
1421
01:06:22,674 --> 01:06:25,198
- Who took him to this?
- There'’s a lot of people there.
1422
01:06:25,372 --> 01:06:28,419
[Molly] Is he moonwalking?[Bill] It'’s not great,
but it'’s spirited.
1423
01:06:28,593 --> 01:06:30,290
He'’s so cool.
1424
01:06:30,464 --> 01:06:32,205
That'’s our son?
This was last night?[Molly] Oh, my God.
1425
01:06:32,379 --> 01:06:34,729
Uh-oh. Here'’s when
- we all went backstage.
- What?
1426
01:06:34,903 --> 01:06:37,036
[crowd chanting]
Liam! Liam! Liam! Is he playing beer pong?
1427
01:06:37,210 --> 01:06:38,211
[Bill] What?
1428
01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:45,914
[Satan] Yeah! Yeah!
That'’s what I'’m talking about.
Yeah![laughing]
1429
01:06:48,352 --> 01:06:50,049
[nurse]
He'’s so good at beer pong.
1430
01:06:50,223 --> 01:06:51,790
Oh, no.
1431
01:06:51,964 --> 01:06:53,792
Yeah.[chanting]
Liam! Liam! Liam!
1432
01:06:58,536 --> 01:07:00,712
[sighs] Liam,
can we just talk for a moment?
1433
01:07:00,886 --> 01:07:03,149
No! You ruined my life!
1434
01:07:04,368 --> 01:07:05,760
Look, I know it was scary.
1435
01:07:05,934 --> 01:07:07,545
It'’s just that
the doctors were try-- were--
1436
01:07:08,589 --> 01:07:09,851
[Molly] Liam, honey, we--
1437
01:07:15,683 --> 01:07:16,945
[both sigh]
1438
01:07:21,559 --> 01:07:22,690
[sighs]
1439
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:27,260
I should'’ve believed him.
1440
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,045
[scoffs]
1441
01:07:29,958 --> 01:07:32,048
What, that he was a rock star?
1442
01:07:33,701 --> 01:07:35,312
I mean,
why would you believe that?
1443
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:37,879
Because he said he was.
1444
01:07:38,924 --> 01:07:39,838
And he'’s my son.
1445
01:07:42,928 --> 01:07:45,931
You did everything
a good father would do.
1446
01:07:47,672 --> 01:07:50,153
Did I?Under the circumstances,
1447
01:07:51,458 --> 01:07:52,459
yeah.
1448
01:07:53,982 --> 01:07:56,333
Hey, you are
a really good father, Bill.
1449
01:07:57,290 --> 01:07:58,465
Really, you'’re amazing.
1450
01:07:59,771 --> 01:08:00,902
Thank you.
1451
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:08,040
Oh, and, Bill,
1452
01:08:08,214 --> 01:08:10,738
I'’m sorry you never
got that pony
when you were a kid.
1453
01:08:11,913 --> 01:08:13,132
[chuckles]
1454
01:08:19,356 --> 01:08:20,792
[line ringing]
1455
01:08:25,492 --> 01:08:26,972
[chimes]
Hey.
1456
01:08:27,146 --> 01:08:29,844
Hey. What the heck happened
to you tonight?
1457
01:08:30,018 --> 01:08:32,630
My parents are freaks.
That'’s what happened.
1458
01:08:32,804 --> 01:08:35,372
Well, we missed you, man.
Wasn'’t as fun without you.
1459
01:08:35,546 --> 01:08:38,462
Oh, really? Sure looked like
you were having a good time.
1460
01:08:38,636 --> 01:08:39,724
What do you mean?
1461
01:08:39,898 --> 01:08:41,204
You were all over her.
1462
01:08:41,378 --> 01:08:43,858
I saw everything.
Satan showed it to me.
1463
01:08:44,032 --> 01:08:45,817
Satan showed it to you? Yeah.
1464
01:08:45,991 --> 01:08:47,906
He put it on the monitor.
1465
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:49,690
So, you were just spying on us?
1466
01:08:49,864 --> 01:08:51,214
I was riveted.
1467
01:08:51,388 --> 01:08:53,738
[in mocking voice]
"The super-duper bad kind."
1468
01:08:53,912 --> 01:08:55,914
[mock cries] Please.
1469
01:08:56,088 --> 01:08:58,525
You were the one
who came up with the cancer lie.
1470
01:08:58,699 --> 01:09:00,745
I guess that
no good deed goes unpunished.
1471
01:09:00,919 --> 01:09:04,401
So, making up a story
that I'’m dying
is your good deed?
1472
01:09:04,575 --> 01:09:07,360
No. Fixing your teeth
was my good deed.
1473
01:09:07,534 --> 01:09:09,232
What? That'’s right.
1474
01:09:09,406 --> 01:09:11,886
I used my second wish
to straighten out your teeth.
1475
01:09:12,060 --> 01:09:13,932
I didn'’t go after Emma.
1476
01:09:14,106 --> 01:09:16,282
And I never asked you to
fix my teeth.
1477
01:09:16,456 --> 01:09:19,329
Yeah, well,
I was being a good friend.
You should try it sometime.
1478
01:09:19,503 --> 01:09:20,504
[line cuts]
1479
01:09:22,506 --> 01:09:23,768
[sighs]
1480
01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:30,644
Maybe he'’s right.
1481
01:09:30,818 --> 01:09:32,385
Maybe he did meet the devil.
1482
01:09:33,081 --> 01:09:35,083
Oh, come on.
1483
01:09:35,258 --> 01:09:37,564
You'’re the one who said
that we should believe him.
1484
01:09:37,738 --> 01:09:38,739
Within reason.
1485
01:09:38,913 --> 01:09:40,480
Bill, you saw him.
1486
01:09:40,654 --> 01:09:42,830
He was singing and dancing
and he was playing beer pong.
1487
01:09:43,004 --> 01:09:45,006
Our son can'’t do
any of those things.
1488
01:09:46,269 --> 01:09:48,053
Maybe he was practicing
at school.
1489
01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,229
Beer pong in middle school?
1490
01:09:52,318 --> 01:09:54,190
Maybe it was lemonade pong.
1491
01:09:54,886 --> 01:09:56,104
Okay, yeah.
1492
01:09:56,279 --> 01:09:58,106
Well, obviously,
he'’s a natural.
1493
01:09:58,890 --> 01:10:00,196
I mean, I was in a frat.
1494
01:10:00,370 --> 01:10:01,719
Yes, we know.
1495
01:10:03,895 --> 01:10:05,331
There'’s gotta be
some explanation.
1496
01:10:06,158 --> 01:10:07,115
Yeah, maybe there is.
1497
01:10:07,290 --> 01:10:09,205
Maybe he'’s telling the truth.
1498
01:10:09,379 --> 01:10:11,729
Are you listening to
yourself, Molly?
1499
01:10:11,903 --> 01:10:14,688
You'’re actually wondering
out loud if
there really is a devil?
1500
01:10:14,862 --> 01:10:17,256
Well, if there isn'’t,
then who took Spencer from us?
1501
01:10:18,562 --> 01:10:19,693
God?
1502
01:10:21,391 --> 01:10:23,828
Would God take Liam'’s
little brother
away from him?
1503
01:10:25,656 --> 01:10:26,744
[Molly sighs]
1504
01:10:31,357 --> 01:10:33,925
There are bad things
in this world, Bill--
horrible things--
1505
01:10:34,099 --> 01:10:36,232
and we'’ve seen them firsthand.
1506
01:10:36,406 --> 01:10:37,711
Where do you think
they come from?
1507
01:10:37,885 --> 01:10:39,147
Stop it, Molly.
1508
01:10:42,629 --> 01:10:46,198
Spencer didn'’t die
because of God or the devil.
1509
01:10:47,330 --> 01:10:48,809
He died because--
1510
01:10:48,983 --> 01:10:50,724
Because I let them play outside
without watching them.
1511
01:10:50,898 --> 01:10:52,683
Just say it. It was my fault.
1512
01:10:54,641 --> 01:10:56,730
- I didn'’t say that.
- But you were thinking it.
1513
01:10:56,904 --> 01:10:59,603
Don'’t tell me
- what I'’m thinking, okay?
- You certainly don'’t tell me.
1514
01:10:59,777 --> 01:11:02,083
[Bill]
Maybe it'’s because I don'’t know
what I think anymore!
1515
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:04,434
Nothing around here
makes any damn sense.
1516
01:11:04,608 --> 01:11:06,044
[Molly]
Yeah, I know you don'’t.
1517
01:11:14,705 --> 01:11:17,360
Maybe tomorrow,
I'’ll just go to my sister'’s
for a while.
1518
01:11:18,578 --> 01:11:20,406
Yeah, maybe you should.
1519
01:11:22,060 --> 01:11:23,757
Yeah, I think
it'’ll be better for everyone.
1520
01:11:23,931 --> 01:11:25,890
Yeah,
stay as long as you'’d like.
1521
01:11:28,458 --> 01:11:29,459
I give up.
1522
01:11:33,201 --> 01:11:35,421
If you need me,
I'’ll be on my couch.
1523
01:11:42,428 --> 01:11:43,821
[sighs]
1524
01:11:47,781 --> 01:11:48,956
[sighs]
1525
01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:27,691
[Satan] ♪ I like you, I do ♪
1526
01:12:27,865 --> 01:12:29,519
[vocalizing]
1527
01:12:29,693 --> 01:12:31,999
And a-one, two, three, four.
1528
01:12:32,173 --> 01:12:34,045
Two, two, three, four.
1529
01:12:34,219 --> 01:12:36,526
And three, two, three, four.
1530
01:12:36,700 --> 01:12:38,441
Four, two, three, four.
1531
01:12:38,615 --> 01:12:41,008
♪ I like you, I do ♪
1532
01:12:41,182 --> 01:12:43,271
[anchor] In other news,
entertainer Post Malone... Kick-- What?
1533
01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:46,840
...checked himself
into Emory Medical Center
for extensive tests yesterday
1534
01:12:47,014 --> 01:12:49,887
after posting on social media
how he woke up
1535
01:12:50,061 --> 01:12:52,846
and had no recollection
of a two-hour concert
1536
01:12:53,020 --> 01:12:55,153
he gave at the Neary Theater.[laughs] I did that.
1537
01:12:56,328 --> 01:12:58,635
Hey, guys. Um, Posty here.
1538
01:12:58,809 --> 01:13:01,289
Um, weird story.
1539
01:13:01,464 --> 01:13:05,990
So, uh, I'’m sitting
in the greenroom,
getting ready for a show,
1540
01:13:06,164 --> 01:13:10,037
and all of a sudden,
I wake up
and it'’s the next day.
1541
01:13:10,211 --> 01:13:12,649
And, uh, I don'’t even remember
what happened.
1542
01:13:12,823 --> 01:13:15,695
[laughs, bleats]
1543
01:13:15,869 --> 01:13:18,350
But I appreciate the love... He didn'’t know what hit him.
1544
01:13:18,524 --> 01:13:20,265
...and, um,
I'’m doing great now.
1545
01:13:20,439 --> 01:13:22,267
Well, that sure sounds scary.
1546
01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,747
It sure is.
But you know what?
1547
01:13:23,921 --> 01:13:26,097
His fans
weren'’t complaining at all.
1548
01:13:26,271 --> 01:13:29,361
In fact, many in attendance
thought it was
one of his best shows ever.
1549
01:13:29,535 --> 01:13:32,451
Now that'’s
what I'’m talking about.[anchor] We sure have.
1550
01:13:32,625 --> 01:13:34,932
Best show he'’s done in year--[knocks on door]
1551
01:13:35,106 --> 01:13:36,586
Damn, Uber Eats is fast.
1552
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,805
Coming.
1553
01:13:38,979 --> 01:13:41,329
Double stuffed pizza crust.
1554
01:13:44,724 --> 01:13:46,030
Well, well, well.
1555
01:13:47,727 --> 01:13:49,294
I wanna make my third wish.
1556
01:13:50,121 --> 01:13:52,776
Please, come in.
1557
01:13:55,039 --> 01:13:56,257
What are you wearing?
1558
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:59,870
Oh, it'’s just
a little exercise thing
1559
01:14:00,044 --> 01:14:01,654
I picked up at the store.
1560
01:14:01,828 --> 01:14:03,830
Come on in.
Make yourself comfortable.
1561
01:14:13,013 --> 01:14:14,928
Hey, Liam.
1562
01:14:15,102 --> 01:14:17,453
I know you'’re upset,
but I just wanted to say
good night, okay?
1563
01:14:19,150 --> 01:14:20,717
[sighs] Liam.
1564
01:14:23,154 --> 01:14:24,285
Liam, come on.
1565
01:14:27,071 --> 01:14:29,421
[wind whistling]
1566
01:14:31,249 --> 01:14:32,946
Bill. Bill!
1567
01:14:34,731 --> 01:14:36,820
So let me try to
get this straight.
1568
01:14:36,994 --> 01:14:40,650
You'’re saying your third wish is
you want your parents to
not get a divorce?
1569
01:14:42,521 --> 01:14:43,566
That'’s right.
1570
01:14:44,654 --> 01:14:46,569
It'’s a little vague.
I mean, theoretically,
1571
01:14:46,743 --> 01:14:48,875
they could stay together
but still be miserable.
1572
01:14:49,049 --> 01:14:50,137
No.
1573
01:14:50,311 --> 01:14:52,444
I want them to smile again.
1574
01:14:52,618 --> 01:14:54,359
[sighs]
Go out to dinner.
1575
01:14:54,533 --> 01:14:55,752
Watch a band.
1576
01:14:56,579 --> 01:14:59,320
Hug, kiss, laugh.
1577
01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:01,627
And not say horrible things
to each other.
1578
01:15:02,715 --> 01:15:03,977
[sighs]
1579
01:15:04,151 --> 01:15:06,023
That kind of staying together.
1580
01:15:07,981 --> 01:15:09,113
Okay.
1581
01:15:09,983 --> 01:15:10,984
So, you can do it?
1582
01:15:11,724 --> 01:15:12,943
I'’m usually pro-divorce,
1583
01:15:13,117 --> 01:15:15,467
but hell, yes, I can do it.
1584
01:15:16,773 --> 01:15:18,862
So, then what will happen to me?
1585
01:15:19,036 --> 01:15:20,516
Do I die
and go straight to hell?
1586
01:15:20,690 --> 01:15:22,518
No, no, no, no, not yet.
1587
01:15:22,692 --> 01:15:24,824
Not for a good 70 to 85 years
1588
01:15:24,998 --> 01:15:27,827
if you watch your weight
and get your
10,000 steps a day in.
1589
01:15:28,741 --> 01:15:30,830
Until then,
do me a favor.
1590
01:15:32,136 --> 01:15:33,137
Have some fun.
1591
01:15:34,051 --> 01:15:35,531
What kind of fun?
1592
01:15:36,140 --> 01:15:37,228
Fun, fun.
1593
01:15:37,402 --> 01:15:38,534
You'’re literally
going to hell.
1594
01:15:38,708 --> 01:15:40,448
You might as well
have fun with it.
1595
01:15:40,623 --> 01:15:42,102
Be a jerk.
1596
01:15:42,276 --> 01:15:43,539
Don'’t hold the door.
1597
01:15:43,713 --> 01:15:46,411
In fact,
slam the door in people'’s faces.
1598
01:15:46,585 --> 01:15:48,848
Rip a juicy one
on the bus.
1599
01:15:50,415 --> 01:15:52,504
Tell people
what you really think about '’em
right to their face,
1600
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:54,027
even if it'’s rude.
1601
01:15:54,201 --> 01:15:55,768
Feels good.
1602
01:15:57,248 --> 01:15:58,945
What if I enjoy
being nice to people?
1603
01:15:59,119 --> 01:16:01,121
[blows raspberry]
You don'’t.
1604
01:16:01,295 --> 01:16:03,776
You just believe you do
because you'’re worried about
what people think.
1605
01:16:03,950 --> 01:16:05,082
How do you know?
1606
01:16:05,256 --> 01:16:06,779
I may be Satan,
1607
01:16:06,953 --> 01:16:09,652
but I'’m also a keen observer of
the human "condish."
1608
01:16:09,826 --> 01:16:10,957
Now, come on, kid.
1609
01:16:11,828 --> 01:16:12,829
Let'’s make it official.
1610
01:16:13,003 --> 01:16:14,613
[breathes deeply]
1611
01:16:15,309 --> 01:16:16,702
How?
1612
01:16:16,876 --> 01:16:21,272
In a clear voice--
no mumbling-- just say,
1613
01:16:21,446 --> 01:16:25,363
"With this third and final wish,
Satan, you now have my soul,"
1614
01:16:26,059 --> 01:16:27,365
and then ask for the wish.
1615
01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:29,933
[breathes deeply]
1616
01:16:30,107 --> 01:16:33,458
With this third
and final wish, Satan,
1617
01:16:33,632 --> 01:16:36,417
you now have my soul.[mouthing]
You now have my soul.
1618
01:16:36,592 --> 01:16:37,767
[thunder rumbles]
1619
01:16:38,681 --> 01:16:41,161
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.[exhales]
1620
01:16:42,249 --> 01:16:43,555
Go ahead now.
1621
01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,035
Ask for the third wishie.
1622
01:16:49,387 --> 01:16:52,564
Imagine getting
to see your mom smile again.
1623
01:16:52,738 --> 01:16:54,261
A real smile, guilt-free.
1624
01:16:54,435 --> 01:16:55,654
Your dad too.
1625
01:16:59,049 --> 01:17:04,010
I wish my parents
would stay together,
in love, forever.
1626
01:17:05,142 --> 01:17:07,100
Sucker!
1627
01:17:08,145 --> 01:17:10,190
[laughs]
I'’m just messing with you.
1628
01:17:10,364 --> 01:17:12,540
Congrats.
Welcome to the squad.
1629
01:17:15,152 --> 01:17:17,067
What? Why so blue?
1630
01:17:17,241 --> 01:17:18,590
Why so blue?
1631
01:17:18,764 --> 01:17:21,158
I just sold my soul to
the devil.
1632
01:17:21,332 --> 01:17:22,768
[chuckles] Adorable.
1633
01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:24,335
Totes adorbs.
1634
01:17:24,509 --> 01:17:26,163
That'’s what they all say
at first,
1635
01:17:26,337 --> 01:17:28,731
but once you get the hang of it,
you'’re gonna have a blast.
1636
01:17:28,905 --> 01:17:30,820
Ooh, I get goose bumps
just thinking about it.
1637
01:17:30,994 --> 01:17:32,952
You never understand.
1638
01:17:35,041 --> 01:17:36,608
Aw, cheer up, dude.
1639
01:17:38,001 --> 01:17:39,176
Slam that door.
1640
01:17:40,046 --> 01:17:40,786
[slams]
1641
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:42,440
[laughs]
1642
01:17:42,614 --> 01:17:44,964
♪ I like it, I do ♪
1643
01:17:45,138 --> 01:17:47,227
♪ I catch a little soul
And I eat a whole bowl ♪
1644
01:17:47,401 --> 01:17:50,013
♪ I like it, I do ♪
1645
01:17:54,757 --> 01:17:56,802
Where is he?
Where could he be?
1646
01:17:56,976 --> 01:17:59,892
He was angry.
He probably went for a walk.
1647
01:18:00,066 --> 01:18:01,677
[exhales]
1648
01:18:01,851 --> 01:18:05,637
Look, let me just pull over
for a minute
so I can think.
1649
01:18:14,777 --> 01:18:15,995
[sighs]
1650
01:18:16,996 --> 01:18:18,563
[breathes heavily]
1651
01:18:22,306 --> 01:18:25,004
I don'’t wanna fight with you
anymore about Liam.
1652
01:18:26,440 --> 01:18:28,616
I know you think
I'’m the one to blame
for all of this.
1653
01:18:29,661 --> 01:18:31,097
What are you talking about?
1654
01:18:31,271 --> 01:18:32,925
I let him believe in Santa.
1655
01:18:33,099 --> 01:18:35,319
I baby him.
I don'’t challenge him enough.
1656
01:18:39,453 --> 01:18:41,238
Molly,
I don'’t blame you for this.
1657
01:18:42,413 --> 01:18:44,328
And I never blamed you
for Spencer.
1658
01:18:45,677 --> 01:18:48,332
The truth is,
if I blame anyone...
1659
01:18:50,595 --> 01:18:51,727
it was me.
1660
01:18:52,728 --> 01:18:53,772
You?
1661
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:55,905
Why?
1662
01:18:56,079 --> 01:18:59,343
Why was I
not there that day?
1663
01:19:01,301 --> 01:19:03,564
What was so important
that I couldn'’t be there?
1664
01:19:06,829 --> 01:19:08,091
I was golfing.
1665
01:19:09,353 --> 01:19:10,963
Can you believe that?
I was fricking golfing.
1666
01:19:11,137 --> 01:19:13,923
It was a Saturday, Bill.
1667
01:19:14,097 --> 01:19:16,229
You were out having
a little bit of fun
with your friends.
1668
01:19:16,403 --> 01:19:17,883
There'’s nothing wrong with that.
1669
01:19:20,712 --> 01:19:22,192
It wasn'’t your fault.
1670
01:19:22,366 --> 01:19:23,933
And it wasn'’t yours.
1671
01:19:27,110 --> 01:19:28,546
It was an accident.
1672
01:19:31,984 --> 01:19:33,594
It wasn'’t your fault.
1673
01:19:35,118 --> 01:19:36,772
It was nobody'’s fault.
1674
01:19:38,730 --> 01:19:41,689
It'’s the first time
you'’ve ever said that.
1675
01:19:44,127 --> 01:19:46,216
I guess I just
didn'’t wanna talk about it.
1676
01:19:48,435 --> 01:19:52,222
Yeah, well, I did.
1677
01:19:53,571 --> 01:19:54,746
And I needed to.
1678
01:19:58,924 --> 01:20:00,404
I'’m sorry.
1679
01:20:04,974 --> 01:20:06,236
I'’m so sorry.
1680
01:20:07,063 --> 01:20:08,368
I'’m sorry too.
1681
01:20:22,905 --> 01:20:24,515
- Look.
- Oh, thank God.
1682
01:20:25,429 --> 01:20:26,473
Liam!
1683
01:20:28,258 --> 01:20:29,259
[exhales]
1684
01:20:30,782 --> 01:20:32,392
What are you doing?
1685
01:20:34,786 --> 01:20:36,092
Hi.
1686
01:20:36,266 --> 01:20:38,224
I'’m just getting in
my 10,000 steps.
1687
01:20:38,398 --> 01:20:39,617
You'’re getting your what?
1688
01:20:39,791 --> 01:20:43,055
[chuckling]
You get in this car, silly.
1689
01:20:44,361 --> 01:20:45,362
Buckle up.
1690
01:20:50,106 --> 01:20:51,455
[engine starts]
1691
01:20:53,022 --> 01:20:54,806
You know what I'’m gonna do
when we get home?
1692
01:20:56,764 --> 01:20:59,245
I'’m gonna bake us a batch of
those Rudolph the Reindeer
pastries
1693
01:20:59,419 --> 01:21:00,856
you guys love so much.
1694
01:21:03,641 --> 01:21:05,295
[chuckles] Oh, boy.
1695
01:21:05,469 --> 01:21:07,427
["Bad to the Bone" playing]
1696
01:21:25,141 --> 01:21:26,794
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1697
01:21:26,969 --> 01:21:28,622
What do you think you'’re doing?
1698
01:21:28,796 --> 01:21:30,886
We'’ve been over this, slick.
1699
01:21:31,060 --> 01:21:34,759
You don'’t cross
till you hear the word "go."
1700
01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:37,980
Go. There.
1701
01:21:38,154 --> 01:21:40,417
How many times
do I have to say this?
I am in--
1702
01:21:40,591 --> 01:21:42,114
[horn honks]
Oh, my God!
1703
01:21:42,288 --> 01:21:44,377
Slow down! What was--
1704
01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,336
No! Children![whistle blows]
1705
01:21:46,510 --> 01:21:48,381
Hey! No![whistle blows]
1706
01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:52,342
[horn honks]
Hey! Do your job,
you banana head!
1707
01:21:52,516 --> 01:21:54,170
I am doing my job.
1708
01:21:54,344 --> 01:21:55,475
You don'’t know.
1709
01:21:56,346 --> 01:21:57,913
You didn'’t take the course.
1710
01:21:58,522 --> 01:21:59,566
[horn honks]
1711
01:22:07,574 --> 01:22:09,794
Oh. Look who it is.
1712
01:22:10,577 --> 01:22:12,797
Mr. Dance-On-The-Stage Guy.
1713
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:15,539
Wow. That'’s a good one.
1714
01:22:15,713 --> 01:22:17,497
Are all your insults that good?
1715
01:22:17,671 --> 01:22:20,892
Do you just describe something
a person did
but in a snarky tone?
1716
01:22:21,066 --> 01:22:21,937
Masterful.
1717
01:22:23,808 --> 01:22:25,201
I'’ve tried
to be nice to you.
1718
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:28,769
And that'’s gotten really boring
and tiresome.
1719
01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:31,598
So instead,
I'’m gonna tell you the truth.
1720
01:22:31,772 --> 01:22:34,123
You'’re so insecure
about yourself,
1721
01:22:34,297 --> 01:22:37,822
rather than develop
any personality,
1722
01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:40,477
you bully other kids
who you think won'’t fight back.
1723
01:22:40,651 --> 01:22:43,871
You gonna let him
talk to you like that, Aiden?
1724
01:22:44,046 --> 01:22:46,178
Yeah, he will,
'’cause he'’s a coward.
1725
01:22:47,005 --> 01:22:48,398
Stand up to any bully,
1726
01:22:48,572 --> 01:22:50,269
and you'’ll see
their true colors.
1727
01:22:50,443 --> 01:22:51,749
Deep down, they'’re just--
1728
01:22:51,923 --> 01:22:53,620
[groans][Aiden'’s friends exclaim]
1729
01:22:56,580 --> 01:22:58,277
[exhales]
1730
01:22:58,451 --> 01:22:59,844
We done here?
1731
01:23:02,368 --> 01:23:04,588
Yeah. I'’m good.
1732
01:23:05,502 --> 01:23:06,546
Good.
1733
01:23:09,245 --> 01:23:10,333
Gentlemen.
1734
01:23:13,031 --> 01:23:14,250
[bell ringing]
1735
01:23:16,034 --> 01:23:17,557
All right, students.
1736
01:23:17,731 --> 01:23:21,170
Let'’s flip the on switch
to your medulla oblongatas.
1737
01:23:21,344 --> 01:23:25,043
Now, I know this is the last day
before your Christmas break.
1738
01:23:25,217 --> 01:23:27,176
Whoo!
1739
01:23:27,350 --> 01:23:31,441
But your frail little minds
must not wander into
the land of sugarplums.
1740
01:23:31,615 --> 01:23:34,444
Has anyone in here
actually ever had a sugarplum?
1741
01:23:34,618 --> 01:23:37,882
Hmm? That tasty
17th-century delicacy.
1742
01:23:38,056 --> 01:23:39,362
Other than me, obviously.
1743
01:23:41,277 --> 01:23:44,062
Liar. You are a liar, son.
1744
01:23:45,107 --> 01:23:47,457
I want you bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed
1745
01:23:47,631 --> 01:23:53,028
as we discuss probably
one of the most overrated books
in history,
1746
01:23:53,941 --> 01:23:56,379
To Kill a Mockingbird.
1747
01:23:56,553 --> 01:23:59,817
Now, if I was publisher,
I would'’ve titled it
To Kill a Manuscript.
1748
01:23:59,991 --> 01:24:01,079
[chuckles]
1749
01:24:01,253 --> 01:24:02,646
Oh, Mr. Turner,
1750
01:24:02,820 --> 01:24:05,997
is your head
in the clouds again?
1751
01:24:06,171 --> 01:24:08,565
Don'’t start with me today, bud.
Not in the mood.
1752
01:24:12,003 --> 01:24:13,352
What did you just say to me?
1753
01:24:13,526 --> 01:24:14,919
Did I stutter?
1754
01:24:16,138 --> 01:24:19,402
Mr. Turner, what on earth
has gotten into you?
1755
01:24:19,576 --> 01:24:22,709
I'’m just getting tired
of your act.
1756
01:24:22,883 --> 01:24:24,276
My act, is it?
1757
01:24:24,450 --> 01:24:26,713
Yeah, constantly putting down
great books
1758
01:24:26,887 --> 01:24:29,455
to help you feel better
about your own failures.
1759
01:24:29,629 --> 01:24:31,588
I mean,
what have you ever written?
1760
01:24:32,763 --> 01:24:34,112
Nothing, right?
1761
01:24:34,286 --> 01:24:35,722
Nothing good, anyway,
1762
01:24:35,896 --> 01:24:37,594
or you wouldn'’t be
a sixth-grade English teacher.
1763
01:24:43,513 --> 01:24:45,863
Wow. That was
quite the kill shot there, Liam.
1764
01:24:48,822 --> 01:24:50,520
You actually might have a point.
1765
01:24:52,609 --> 01:24:57,570
Certainly, my father
and ex-wife would agree
with your assessment.
1766
01:25:09,843 --> 01:25:11,236
[bell ringing]
1767
01:25:12,977 --> 01:25:14,021
Emma.
1768
01:25:18,113 --> 01:25:19,114
Emma, wait.
1769
01:25:19,679 --> 01:25:20,724
What?
1770
01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:22,987
Oh, I wanted to apologize
1771
01:25:23,161 --> 01:25:24,815
for running out
in the middle of our date.
1772
01:25:25,642 --> 01:25:26,860
Don'’t worry about it.
1773
01:25:27,034 --> 01:25:28,862
Gibby told me
your mom needed you at home.
1774
01:25:31,909 --> 01:25:33,258
You wanna walk home
together?
1775
01:25:34,172 --> 01:25:35,042
I don'’t think so.
1776
01:25:35,217 --> 01:25:36,131
Oh.
1777
01:25:36,305 --> 01:25:38,045
Um, why?
1778
01:25:38,220 --> 01:25:39,656
You were a jerk.
1779
01:25:41,397 --> 01:25:42,180
What?
1780
01:25:42,354 --> 01:25:44,530
In class with Mr. Charles.
1781
01:25:44,704 --> 01:25:46,576
You were totally soul-crushing.
1782
01:25:46,750 --> 01:25:49,579
You called him a failure
in front of the whole class.
1783
01:25:52,059 --> 01:25:55,411
You know, I broke up with Aiden
because I thought
I found someone nice.
1784
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,587
Turns out I was wrong.
1785
01:25:57,761 --> 01:25:59,284
You'’re nothing but a bully.
1786
01:26:01,243 --> 01:26:02,244
Goodbye.
1787
01:26:03,723 --> 01:26:05,116
[crying]
1788
01:26:09,990 --> 01:26:12,341
We'’re gonna go back-to-back.
On three. We'’re doing bubble judging.
1789
01:26:12,515 --> 01:26:14,343
We'’ll see who-- Dad, can you count to three?
1790
01:26:14,517 --> 01:26:17,868
Yeah. One, two, three.[Molly] Spencer, that'’s...
[laughs]
1791
01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:19,522
[Bill] Count down. Okay, ready?
1792
01:26:19,696 --> 01:26:21,088
[Bill] All right,
Mom'’s gonna count it down.
1793
01:26:21,263 --> 01:26:23,395
[Molly] Three, two, one.
1794
01:26:23,569 --> 01:26:26,093
Guys, on one. Okay.[Bill] It'’s a duel.
[chuckles]
1795
01:26:26,268 --> 01:26:29,053
I didn'’t know
what was happening.[all whooping]
1796
01:26:29,227 --> 01:26:31,142
I'’m gonna catch it.
I'’m gonna catch it.[Liam] It'’s like a hot dog.
1797
01:26:31,316 --> 01:26:33,840
Yeah, be very gentle.
Like it'’s your child.
1798
01:26:34,014 --> 01:26:36,060
[parents exclaim, laugh]
1799
01:26:36,234 --> 01:26:37,757
[Spencer]
Good job, Mom.
You did so good.
1800
01:26:37,931 --> 01:26:39,977
[Bill]
The biggest bubble
that lasted that long.
1801
01:26:40,151 --> 01:26:42,980
High five. That was beautiful.[Molly] My number one--
My number one fan.
1802
01:26:43,546 --> 01:26:46,201
[line ringing]
1803
01:26:46,375 --> 01:26:48,377
[Liam] I'’m trying to slice
these bubbles.[Bill] Wait, Liam. Wait.
1804
01:26:50,770 --> 01:26:52,207
[chimes]
1805
01:26:52,381 --> 01:26:54,121
Hey.[Gibby] Hey.
1806
01:26:54,296 --> 01:26:55,862
Whatcha doing?
1807
01:26:56,646 --> 01:26:57,995
Nothing.
1808
01:26:58,169 --> 01:26:59,866
Just watching
old videos of my brother.
1809
01:27:00,563 --> 01:27:01,564
You have a brother?
1810
01:27:01,738 --> 01:27:03,043
Yeah.
1811
01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:04,654
Well, I used to.
1812
01:27:04,828 --> 01:27:07,352
Spencer, he, um-- he died.
1813
01:27:07,526 --> 01:27:09,528
What?
1814
01:27:09,702 --> 01:27:12,009
Why didn'’t you ever
tell me that? You wouldn'’t let me, remember?
1815
01:27:12,183 --> 01:27:14,185
You wanted to talk about
the Impossible Burger lasagna.
1816
01:27:14,359 --> 01:27:16,535
Oh, by the way,
I tried it. It is good.
1817
01:27:16,709 --> 01:27:18,276
Oh, crap.
1818
01:27:18,450 --> 01:27:20,104
I'’m so, so sorry.
1819
01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:22,759
That'’s a rough one, man.
1820
01:27:22,933 --> 01:27:24,239
Thanks, Gibby.
1821
01:27:25,588 --> 01:27:28,068
I'’m really sorry
about what I said
the other night.
1822
01:27:28,243 --> 01:27:32,029
I know you weren'’t trying to,
you know, with Emma.
1823
01:27:32,203 --> 01:27:34,074
I would hope not.
1824
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:36,120
What kind of monster
do you think I am, man?
1825
01:27:36,294 --> 01:27:37,817
It'’s Satan'’s fault.
1826
01:27:37,991 --> 01:27:39,993
He made me suspicious.
1827
01:27:40,167 --> 01:27:42,039
Isn'’t that one of
the seven deadly sins?
1828
01:27:42,213 --> 01:27:43,649
Are there really seven?
1829
01:27:45,347 --> 01:27:46,696
What chance do we have?
1830
01:27:46,870 --> 01:27:49,394
[sighs]
Actually, it'’s my fault too.
1831
01:27:49,568 --> 01:27:52,484
I should'’ve never fixed
your teeth
without your permission.
1832
01:27:53,877 --> 01:27:55,139
I was drunk with power.
1833
01:27:55,922 --> 01:27:57,881
Well, I'’m sorry too.
1834
01:27:59,099 --> 01:28:00,536
I kinda suspected
1835
01:28:00,710 --> 01:28:04,627
you were the one
who, you know, fixed my teeth.
1836
01:28:04,801 --> 01:28:05,715
You did?
1837
01:28:05,889 --> 01:28:08,326
Come on, I'’m not an idiot.
1838
01:28:08,500 --> 01:28:11,808
I guess I just didn'’t wanna
admit that Satan
was helping me too.
1839
01:28:11,982 --> 01:28:14,898
Yeah, I guess there is
a bit of a stigma to that.
1840
01:28:16,073 --> 01:28:17,422
I was being a jerk.
1841
01:28:18,249 --> 01:28:19,381
I mean,
1842
01:28:19,555 --> 01:28:22,732
you used
your last freebie wish on me.
1843
01:28:22,906 --> 01:28:25,300
You could'’ve fixed
your own physical malformities,
1844
01:28:25,474 --> 01:28:26,953
but instead, you thought of me.
1845
01:28:27,127 --> 01:28:28,477
That'’s pretty cool.
1846
01:28:28,651 --> 01:28:30,261
What physical malformities?
1847
01:28:30,435 --> 01:28:31,436
Huh?
1848
01:28:33,220 --> 01:28:35,875
Anyway, Merry Christmas, Liam.
1849
01:28:36,615 --> 01:28:37,747
You too, Gib.
1850
01:28:37,921 --> 01:28:38,835
You'’re a good friend.
1851
01:28:39,009 --> 01:28:41,446
Right back at ya, bestie.
1852
01:28:41,620 --> 01:28:44,319
So, what do you think
happened to Satan?
1853
01:28:44,493 --> 01:28:48,235
[Liam] Meh,
I'’m sure he'’s back down there,
sitting on his throne.
1854
01:29:02,162 --> 01:29:05,557
Welcome back to hell,
my loyal subject.
1855
01:29:05,731 --> 01:29:07,167
I trust you traveled safely.
1856
01:29:07,342 --> 01:29:09,735
Yes, your lowness.
Thank you for asking.
1857
01:29:09,909 --> 01:29:11,520
It was a smooth trip, indeed.
1858
01:29:11,694 --> 01:29:14,566
I was being facetious,
you dumbass.
1859
01:29:16,046 --> 01:29:19,223
Not only did you go rogue
without my permission,
1860
01:29:19,397 --> 01:29:22,357
you also failed miserably
on your mission.
1861
01:29:22,531 --> 01:29:23,923
I can'’t take that kid'’s soul.
1862
01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:25,708
W-W-Why not?
1863
01:29:25,882 --> 01:29:28,493
I'’ll tell you...
[mock stammers] ...why not.
1864
01:29:29,276 --> 01:29:31,278
'’Cause you screwed the pooch.
1865
01:29:31,453 --> 01:29:34,020
That was only once,
and I was going through a thing.
1866
01:29:34,194 --> 01:29:35,674
First of all, ew.
1867
01:29:35,848 --> 01:29:38,416
And I mean
you screwed up big time.
1868
01:29:38,590 --> 01:29:43,073
So, your deal with this kid,
Liam, is null and void.
1869
01:29:43,247 --> 01:29:44,596
Null and void?
1870
01:29:44,770 --> 01:29:47,033
- Mm-hmm. It'’s a legal term.
- I know that.
1871
01:29:47,207 --> 01:29:49,427
No. I don'’t know
if you know it.
1872
01:29:49,601 --> 01:29:52,256
'’Cause when I said
"null and void," you said
"null and void?" Like that.
1873
01:29:52,430 --> 01:29:54,084
Like you didn'’t have
any idea what that meant.
1874
01:29:54,258 --> 01:29:56,303
- I know null and void.
- Hang on a second.
1875
01:29:56,478 --> 01:30:00,482
Just out of curiosity,
what-what is the definition of
null and void, hmm?
1876
01:30:00,656 --> 01:30:04,224
Null and void,
I think it means, like...
1877
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:07,532
"Null" means, like, "no."
1878
01:30:07,706 --> 01:30:08,925
And "void" means--
1879
01:30:09,099 --> 01:30:11,014
I mean, "void" means
"null and void."
1880
01:30:11,188 --> 01:30:12,494
You know, null and void.
1881
01:30:12,668 --> 01:30:15,105
Okay, so, null and void
means "null and void"?
1882
01:30:15,279 --> 01:30:17,107
Yes. [chuckles]
1883
01:30:17,281 --> 01:30:20,763
That'’s like saying hippopotamus
means, uh, "hippopotamus."
1884
01:30:20,937 --> 01:30:22,852
Okay,
I don'’t know null and void.
1885
01:30:23,026 --> 01:30:24,897
But how did I screw up?
1886
01:30:25,071 --> 01:30:27,422
I got him to ask for
the three wishes,
fair and square.
1887
01:30:27,596 --> 01:30:31,164
They'’re supposed to be
evil wishes, you moron.
1888
01:30:31,338 --> 01:30:33,950
Or at least shallow
and greedy wishes.
1889
01:30:34,124 --> 01:30:37,606
He asked me to be with
a cute girl.
That'’s shallow and greedy.
1890
01:30:37,780 --> 01:30:40,739
Yeah, but, I mean,
you tricked him into it.
1891
01:30:40,913 --> 01:30:44,264
Oh, come on.
He wanted her.
You know that.
1892
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:46,484
Okay. Maybe he did. All right.
I'’ll give you that one.
1893
01:30:46,658 --> 01:30:49,748
But the other two
were definitely pure
and for the benefit of others.
1894
01:30:49,922 --> 01:30:52,490
I mean, how the hell
am I supposed to work
with someone like that?
1895
01:30:52,664 --> 01:30:57,800
Plus, B-T-Dubs, you got a soul
under false pretenses.
1896
01:30:57,974 --> 01:30:59,366
But that'’s our MO.
1897
01:30:59,541 --> 01:31:02,326
Since when do we not operate
under false pretenses?
1898
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:04,067
You pretended to be me.
1899
01:31:04,241 --> 01:31:07,418
Never. I never said I was you.
1900
01:31:07,592 --> 01:31:11,117
I explained how there was no way
that I was you,
1901
01:31:11,291 --> 01:31:12,728
that there was only
one real Satan, you,
1902
01:31:12,902 --> 01:31:15,426
and how the rest of us
just aid and serve you,
1903
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:19,648
but that, without question, you,
your lowness,
are the one and only big D--
1904
01:31:19,822 --> 01:31:20,649
You'’re lying.
1905
01:31:21,693 --> 01:31:23,739
Yeah. I mean, of course.
[chuckling]
1906
01:31:23,913 --> 01:31:25,175
I'’m a liar.
1907
01:31:25,349 --> 01:31:28,047
Now, take off
those bullshit horns already!
1908
01:31:28,744 --> 01:31:30,963
Oh. [chuckles] Yeah. Uh...
1909
01:31:31,137 --> 01:31:35,228
[grunts]
I was just wearing them
until I earned my real horns.
1910
01:31:35,402 --> 01:31:38,275
Yeah, well,
that'’s not happening.
1911
01:31:38,449 --> 01:31:42,148
You'’re not getting horns,
and you'’ll never be
a real demon.
1912
01:31:42,322 --> 01:31:44,542
What? Come on!
1913
01:31:44,716 --> 01:31:46,413
Can'’t you just give me
one more shot at it?
1914
01:31:46,588 --> 01:31:48,415
That kid
was a tough nut to crack.
1915
01:31:48,590 --> 01:31:50,983
I tried everything.
He was incorruptible.
1916
01:31:51,157 --> 01:31:54,117
Look, no offense,
but just-- I mean...
1917
01:31:54,291 --> 01:31:55,901
It'’s just not
a good fit anymore.
You know?
1918
01:31:56,075 --> 01:31:57,947
[laughs]
1919
01:31:58,121 --> 01:32:01,646
What are you talking about?
I busted my ass for you
for centuries.
1920
01:32:01,820 --> 01:32:03,169
I understand,
1921
01:32:03,343 --> 01:32:05,868
but some "demigorgons"
and demidemons
1922
01:32:06,042 --> 01:32:08,348
are just not meant
to be full demons, okay?
1923
01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:09,741
Sorry.
1924
01:32:09,915 --> 01:32:11,090
It'’s not me, it'’s you.
1925
01:32:11,264 --> 01:32:12,439
Seriously?
1926
01:32:12,614 --> 01:32:15,965
You have one hour to
say your bye-byes.
1927
01:32:17,227 --> 01:32:18,271
Wow.
1928
01:32:22,362 --> 01:32:23,407
Tootles.
1929
01:32:26,845 --> 01:32:28,543
That'’s the first time
I'’ve ever said "tootles."
1930
01:32:28,717 --> 01:32:31,850
I-I never say that.
Just so you know.
1931
01:32:32,024 --> 01:32:34,418
[Satan]
That was the first time
I said "B-T-Dubs."
1932
01:32:35,201 --> 01:32:36,333
[groans]
1933
01:32:43,514 --> 01:32:45,255
[taps on glass][squawking]
1934
01:32:48,954 --> 01:32:51,217
[taps on glass][squawks]
1935
01:32:51,391 --> 01:32:52,654
Satan?
1936
01:32:52,828 --> 01:32:54,917
No, it'’s Santy Claus.
Open the window!
1937
01:32:58,398 --> 01:32:59,965
[squawks]
1938
01:33:01,880 --> 01:33:03,447
[squawks]
1939
01:33:04,230 --> 01:33:05,884
[snorts, groans]
1940
01:33:06,058 --> 01:33:07,886
- Deal'’s off.
- What?
1941
01:33:08,060 --> 01:33:10,149
The deal'’s off.
I can'’t take your soul.
1942
01:33:10,323 --> 01:33:12,848
What are you talking about?
Why is it off?
1943
01:33:14,458 --> 01:33:16,068
I decided I didn'’t want it.
1944
01:33:16,242 --> 01:33:17,722
Why didn'’t you want my soul?
1945
01:33:17,896 --> 01:33:19,289
Uh...
1946
01:33:19,463 --> 01:33:21,378
Wasn'’t my type.
1947
01:33:21,552 --> 01:33:23,728
It'’s a long story.
The bottom line is,
you have your soul back
1948
01:33:23,902 --> 01:33:25,730
and you'’re never going to hell.
Sorry.
1949
01:33:25,904 --> 01:33:27,993
Wait.
If you didn'’t have my soul,
1950
01:33:28,167 --> 01:33:31,083
then how was I able to
talk trash to Mr. Charles
1951
01:33:31,257 --> 01:33:33,608
and the crossing guard
1952
01:33:33,782 --> 01:33:35,305
and stand up to Aiden?
1953
01:33:35,479 --> 01:33:36,436
Kinda.
1954
01:33:37,742 --> 01:33:39,265
That wasn'’t me.
1955
01:33:39,439 --> 01:33:42,312
You were finally
standing up for yourself.
1956
01:33:42,486 --> 01:33:45,184
Though I did think you were
a little hard on Mr. Charles.
1957
01:33:45,358 --> 01:33:46,533
You thought so too?
1958
01:33:46,708 --> 01:33:48,448
A little.
1959
01:33:48,623 --> 01:33:51,147
Wait. Why would you come
all the way here
just to tell me that?
1960
01:33:51,321 --> 01:33:53,149
Um, I'’m considerate.
1961
01:33:53,323 --> 01:33:55,107
Satan isn'’t considerate.
1962
01:33:55,281 --> 01:33:56,326
That'’s a stereotype.
1963
01:33:56,500 --> 01:33:57,632
Satan can be complex.
1964
01:33:57,806 --> 01:33:59,721
I mean, I can be complex.
1965
01:34:01,287 --> 01:34:03,550
You don'’t have your--
You'’re not Satan.
1966
01:34:03,725 --> 01:34:04,726
Uh...
1967
01:34:06,118 --> 01:34:07,424
I never said I was.
1968
01:34:07,598 --> 01:34:09,426
Yes, you did.
Numerous times!
1969
01:34:09,600 --> 01:34:11,863
[groans] Sorry.
Caught me in a lie.
1970
01:34:13,560 --> 01:34:15,824
I knew
you weren'’t really Satan.
1971
01:34:15,998 --> 01:34:18,348
Why would Satan stay
at the Red Rum Motor Lodge?
1972
01:34:18,522 --> 01:34:20,350
They got free Wi-Fi.
1973
01:34:22,047 --> 01:34:23,483
And I like their croissants.
1974
01:34:24,963 --> 01:34:26,138
So, who are you?
1975
01:34:27,052 --> 01:34:28,793
I was just a low-level demon.
1976
01:34:29,533 --> 01:34:30,577
"Demigorgon."
1977
01:34:31,448 --> 01:34:32,754
A fraud.
1978
01:34:32,928 --> 01:34:33,929
[sighs]
1979
01:34:35,191 --> 01:34:36,192
So that'’s it?
1980
01:34:37,193 --> 01:34:39,238
Yep.
You get to keep your soul
1981
01:34:39,412 --> 01:34:41,371
and you'’re never
gonna go to hell.
1982
01:34:41,545 --> 01:34:44,983
And thanks to
your candy-ass wishes,
I'’m banished from hell forever.
1983
01:34:45,636 --> 01:34:46,811
Oh, geez.
1984
01:34:47,856 --> 01:34:49,422
I'’m so sorry about that.
I--
1985
01:34:50,554 --> 01:34:52,425
Ah, it'’s all right.
1986
01:34:53,905 --> 01:34:56,081
Hell ain'’t all
it'’s cracked up to be.
1987
01:34:56,908 --> 01:34:57,822
[scoffs]
1988
01:34:57,996 --> 01:34:59,694
Talk about your horrible bosses.
1989
01:35:01,521 --> 01:35:04,829
[sighs] Anyway, kid,
Merry Christmas.
1990
01:35:05,395 --> 01:35:06,483
Thank you.
1991
01:35:06,657 --> 01:35:08,180
Merry Christmas to you too.
1992
01:35:10,400 --> 01:35:12,184
I'’m sort of ashamed to
admit it,
1993
01:35:12,358 --> 01:35:15,318
but I really enjoyed hanging out
with you
and getting to know you.
1994
01:35:17,320 --> 01:35:18,713
You'’re a good kid, Liam.
1995
01:35:19,975 --> 01:35:21,019
Thank you.
1996
01:35:21,193 --> 01:35:22,978
You'’re very welcome.
1997
01:35:23,935 --> 01:35:25,894
And I like Emma too.
She'’s a doll.
1998
01:35:26,590 --> 01:35:29,158
And Gibby... [chuckles]
1999
01:35:29,332 --> 01:35:34,163
How much fun was that seeing him
with those new teeth?
That smile.
2000
01:35:34,337 --> 01:35:36,948
Did you see that joy,
that little glimmer in his eye?
2001
01:35:37,122 --> 01:35:39,124
That kid'’s got a heart of gold.
2002
01:35:39,777 --> 01:35:41,300
His old teeth, yikes.
2003
01:35:41,474 --> 01:35:43,172
You could open up
a bottle of beer
on those chompers.
2004
01:35:43,346 --> 01:35:45,696
[laughs]
I mean, bottle of pop.
2005
01:35:48,655 --> 01:35:50,440
So, what are you gonna do
with yourself?
2006
01:35:50,614 --> 01:35:54,270
For Christmas?
I usually order Chinese
and watch some hoops.
2007
01:35:55,140 --> 01:35:57,534
No. I mean, like,
for good?
2008
01:35:58,230 --> 01:36:00,015
Oh.
2009
01:36:00,189 --> 01:36:03,366
I actually feel like
I'’m starting a new chapter
of my life,
2010
01:36:03,540 --> 01:36:04,976
and it'’s pretty refreshing.
2011
01:36:05,150 --> 01:36:07,631
[chuckles] It'’s a totally
different career path.
2012
01:36:07,805 --> 01:36:11,156
Anyhoo, I gotta go now.
[chuckles]
2013
01:36:11,330 --> 01:36:12,549
Oh, yeah!
2014
01:36:12,723 --> 01:36:14,159
One more thing.
2015
01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,900
Your third wish
was null and void.
2016
01:36:16,074 --> 01:36:17,597
What? What do you mean?
2017
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,469
Don'’t ask me
about null and void.
2018
01:36:19,643 --> 01:36:22,211
It'’s a legal term.
Very complicated.
2019
01:36:22,385 --> 01:36:25,997
The point is
you can'’t wish for something
that'’s already happened.
2020
01:36:26,171 --> 01:36:29,871
Your parents got back together
on their own,
so that canceled out your wish.
2021
01:36:30,045 --> 01:36:32,177
- Wh-- Really?
- Really.
2022
01:36:32,351 --> 01:36:34,789
So it turns out
you had another wish coming.
2023
01:36:34,963 --> 01:36:37,704
I didn'’t have much time,
so I just put in what
you asked for in your letter.
2024
01:36:37,879 --> 01:36:40,795
My letter? I thought you said
you didn'’t read it.
2025
01:36:40,969 --> 01:36:44,450
Oh, I was in the bathroom
doing my business
and I needed something.
2026
01:36:45,800 --> 01:36:46,844
My letter.
2027
01:36:47,845 --> 01:36:49,760
I didn'’t know
I could wish for that.
2028
01:36:50,805 --> 01:36:52,719
You can wish for
anything you want, kid.
2029
01:36:53,590 --> 01:36:54,765
It'’s Christmas.
2030
01:36:57,507 --> 01:36:59,117
See ya!
2031
01:37:00,553 --> 01:37:02,120
[hoots]
2032
01:37:05,080 --> 01:37:07,299
["Holly Jolly Christmas"
playing]
2033
01:37:27,058 --> 01:37:28,146
[laughs]
2034
01:37:28,320 --> 01:37:30,583
- Rudolph the Reindeer pastries.
- Bill!
2035
01:37:30,757 --> 01:37:34,109
Okay, first off,
it'’s Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
2036
01:37:34,283 --> 01:37:37,068
Wha--And these are actually
your all-time worst.
2037
01:37:37,242 --> 01:37:39,375
- What?
- They--
They look like seals.
2038
01:37:39,549 --> 01:37:40,593
- Seals?
- Yeah.
2039
01:37:40,767 --> 01:37:41,943
- No, they'’ve got antlers.
- No.
2040
01:37:42,117 --> 01:37:43,161
- They'’re anatomically correct.
- Okay.
2041
01:37:43,335 --> 01:37:45,120
[Bill] I-- Don'’t--[Molly] No.
2042
01:37:45,294 --> 01:37:47,557
[parents laughing]
Like, why are you...
I think I nailed the back.
2043
01:37:49,254 --> 01:37:51,256
[parents continue talking
indistinctly]
2044
01:37:53,215 --> 01:37:56,174
[Bill]
...nice touch, gumdrop nose...[Molly laughing]
2045
01:37:57,480 --> 01:37:59,177
[Bill]
I think I nailed the back.
2046
01:38:00,570 --> 01:38:01,571
[Liam] Dear Santa.
2047
01:38:03,486 --> 01:38:06,706
I know it'’s ridiculous
that I'’m writing you
this letter.
2048
01:38:06,881 --> 01:38:09,579
After all, I'’m 11.
2049
01:38:09,753 --> 01:38:12,887
But, hey,
I figure it can'’t hurt.
2050
01:38:14,236 --> 01:38:15,280
[laughing]
2051
01:38:16,673 --> 01:38:18,980
[Liam]
I know this is
a crazy thing to ask for.
2052
01:38:19,154 --> 01:38:21,330
Thank you so much.
Thank you. I just--You got it. Yeah.
2053
01:38:21,504 --> 01:38:26,683
[Liam] But if anyone
is used to being asked
for crazy things, it'’s you.
2054
01:38:28,076 --> 01:38:29,773
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
2055
01:38:31,949 --> 01:38:34,256
- Well, look who'’s up.
- Merry Christmas, buddy.
2056
01:38:34,430 --> 01:38:36,127
Why don'’t you go see
what Santa brought you?
2057
01:38:36,301 --> 01:38:38,564
[Liam] I only want
one thing for Christmas.
2058
01:38:39,957 --> 01:38:41,741
And I'’m pretty sure
2059
01:38:41,916 --> 01:38:44,005
I'’ll only want
one thing for
the rest of my life.
2060
01:38:45,180 --> 01:38:47,008
Please, please...
2061
01:38:49,271 --> 01:38:50,750
can you bring my brother back?
2062
01:38:52,317 --> 01:38:53,188
Yes!
2063
01:38:54,058 --> 01:38:55,842
[breathing heavily]
2064
01:39:01,544 --> 01:39:03,633
Hey, Liam. Merry Christmas.
2065
01:39:06,897 --> 01:39:09,987
[crying]
What are you waiting for?
Open up your presents.
2066
01:39:10,161 --> 01:39:11,162
I just did.
2067
01:39:13,469 --> 01:39:14,600
What are you doing?
2068
01:39:16,820 --> 01:39:18,735
Mom, can you tell Liam to
stop it?
2069
01:39:18,909 --> 01:39:20,389
[Molly chuckles]
2070
01:39:20,563 --> 01:39:21,868
[sobbing]
2071
01:39:22,043 --> 01:39:23,609
I love you so much.
2072
01:39:23,783 --> 01:39:27,048
Okay, okay. I love you too.
Ma, tell him to let go of me.
2073
01:39:27,222 --> 01:39:29,659
You know how much
Liam loves Christmas, Spence.
2074
01:39:29,833 --> 01:39:32,227
- Get '’em while they'’re hot!
- Oh, no.
2075
01:39:33,054 --> 01:39:34,446
- Wow.
- Chef Dad.
2076
01:39:34,620 --> 01:39:35,926
So delicious. Thanks.
2077
01:39:36,100 --> 01:39:37,710
- Who'’s this from?
- The Harrisons.
2078
01:39:37,884 --> 01:39:39,147
From the old neighborhood?[Molly] Yeah.
2079
01:39:39,321 --> 01:39:40,670
Yeah. I liked them.
2080
01:39:40,844 --> 01:39:42,498
They had a skating rink
in their backyard
2081
01:39:42,672 --> 01:39:43,760
and the pug who chased pucks.
2082
01:39:43,934 --> 01:39:45,762
That'’s right.
God, I miss them.
2083
01:39:45,936 --> 01:39:48,112
Remind me why
we ever left Connecticut.
2084
01:39:48,286 --> 01:39:50,593
[chuckling]
Because you wanted to move.[blusters, whinnies]
2085
01:39:50,767 --> 01:39:53,988
My pony!
- [laughing] What?
- Oh, my God.
2086
01:39:54,162 --> 01:39:55,641
I got my fricking pony!
2087
01:39:55,815 --> 01:39:58,296
Oh, my God, Bill.
2088
01:39:59,123 --> 01:40:01,647
- Oh, my.
- Bill.
2089
01:40:01,821 --> 01:40:03,475
Thank you, sweetie.
2090
01:40:03,649 --> 01:40:05,390
Me? I...
2091
01:40:05,564 --> 01:40:07,740
Oh, okay. All right.
Well, I should be the one
thanking you.
2092
01:40:07,914 --> 01:40:10,352
Why didn'’t you tell me
you found the tree topper?
2093
01:40:11,440 --> 01:40:12,745
I-I didn'’t find it.
2094
01:40:12,919 --> 01:40:15,357
Okay, yeah, right.
As if I believe you.
2095
01:40:18,751 --> 01:40:20,231
Yeah. Okay. You...
2096
01:40:23,626 --> 01:40:24,844
Best Christmas ever.
2097
01:40:25,019 --> 01:40:27,412
[electric guitar solo plays]
2098
01:40:31,938 --> 01:40:33,462
[line ringing]
2099
01:40:34,767 --> 01:40:37,161
- [Bill] It'’s fine. All right?
- Yeah. I think so.
2100
01:40:37,335 --> 01:40:38,902
Hey, Gibby. Merry Christmas.
2101
01:40:39,076 --> 01:40:40,860
[Gibby] Yeah. Yeah. You too.
2102
01:40:41,035 --> 01:40:45,561
So, did it kick in yet,
you being with team Satan now?
2103
01:40:45,735 --> 01:40:47,519
No. Long story.
2104
01:40:47,693 --> 01:40:49,391
But everything turned out great.
2105
01:40:49,565 --> 01:40:50,783
And I got my soul back.
2106
01:40:50,957 --> 01:40:52,655
Wow.
2107
01:40:52,829 --> 01:40:53,960
Guess what.
2108
01:40:54,135 --> 01:40:56,702
Things are about to
get even better.
2109
01:40:56,876 --> 01:40:59,357
'’Cause I just convinced Emma
to give you another chance.
2110
01:40:59,531 --> 01:41:01,881
Wait. Really?
How? What did you say?
2111
01:41:02,056 --> 01:41:05,363
Well, I know she'’s into
the whole sympathy thing,
2112
01:41:05,537 --> 01:41:07,583
so I told her about
your dead brother.
2113
01:41:10,238 --> 01:41:11,674
Uh-oh.
2114
01:41:22,337 --> 01:41:24,078
[neighs]
2115
01:41:42,574 --> 01:41:44,098
[screeches]
2116
01:42:59,173 --> 01:43:01,349
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
2117
01:45:05,995 --> 01:45:07,170
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
2118
01:45:07,344 --> 01:45:08,998
Hold up.
2119
01:45:09,172 --> 01:45:11,609
Slow down, Lance Armstrong.
2120
01:45:11,783 --> 01:45:14,743
Oh, I do apologize.
I didn'’t realize
there were any cars coming.
2121
01:45:14,917 --> 01:45:17,659
Yeah. I'’ll tell you
when there'’s no cars.
2122
01:45:17,833 --> 01:45:19,269
Oh, my.
2123
01:45:23,055 --> 01:45:28,322
I must say,
I appreciate a woman who is
keen to her professional duties.
2124
01:45:28,496 --> 01:45:31,237
Now, may I be so bold
as to ask...
2125
01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:33,414
Yes?
2126
01:45:33,588 --> 01:45:35,633
What is it
you'’re doing here today?
2127
01:45:35,807 --> 01:45:38,114
I mean, do they have you
working on Christmas Day?
2128
01:45:38,288 --> 01:45:39,463
Oh.
2129
01:45:39,637 --> 01:45:41,944
No, I sorta
just showed up.
2130
01:45:42,118 --> 01:45:43,902
Didn'’t have
anything else going on.
2131
01:45:44,076 --> 01:45:48,037
I actually had
nothing going on either,
so I... I don'’t know.
2132
01:45:48,211 --> 01:45:50,909
I thought I'’d just
go for a bike ride.[gasps]
2133
01:45:52,346 --> 01:45:53,608
- Uh, please, go ahead.
- Right.
2134
01:45:53,782 --> 01:45:54,783
Yeah.[chuckles]
2135
01:45:54,957 --> 01:45:56,872
You wouldn'’t,
by chance, uh,
2136
01:45:57,046 --> 01:46:01,224
be interested in heading over
to the Royal Garden perhaps?
2137
01:46:01,398 --> 01:46:03,095
Eating some Chinese food.
2138
01:46:03,269 --> 01:46:04,662
Maybe watching some hoops.
2139
01:46:04,836 --> 01:46:06,838
I think they have
the best crab rangoons in town.
2140
01:46:08,318 --> 01:46:10,538
But of course--
I don'’t mean to put you out.
2141
01:46:12,017 --> 01:46:13,497
You had me at "rangoons."
2142
01:46:13,671 --> 01:46:15,064
Then it'’s a date.
2143
01:46:15,238 --> 01:46:16,587
Hop on, milady.
2144
01:46:17,893 --> 01:46:21,679
Second thought, uh,
how about we take a brisk walk?
2145
01:46:21,853 --> 01:46:22,680
Oh.[chuckles]
2146
01:46:22,854 --> 01:46:24,029
Shall I?Yeah.
2147
01:46:24,203 --> 01:46:25,944
- Let'’s shove off.
- Let'’s shove off.
2148
01:46:26,118 --> 01:46:27,816
You must be from England.
Are you?
2149
01:46:27,990 --> 01:46:30,688
Jersey.
New Jersey, actually. Yes.
2150
01:46:30,862 --> 01:46:32,342
The Princeton area of course.
2151
01:46:32,516 --> 01:46:33,996
[crossing guard]
That explains the accent.
2152
01:46:34,170 --> 01:46:35,432
[Mr. Charles]
Yes. Yes, yes.
2153
01:46:35,606 --> 01:46:36,999
[both laughing]