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Marriage is the pinnacle of civilization.
Said Goethe.
What did he know?
But people still get married.
Like Thomas and Anna.
The reason they invited us here to Austria.
He proposed to her on Lanzarote. Very romantic.
A lot's happened since.
Anna, my future sister-in-law,
known for remarks like:
Fuck you!
Or: Shut the fuck up!
It was a big surprise when she had
something like overnight success in something like acting.
As Cherry Mueller, a hooker,
in Leander HauBmann's film comedy "Party Night".
How's it going?
Good.
Wanna buy me a tequila sunrise?
Sure.
Not exactly Bergman or Wenders, more a box-office hit.
But her feet are still on the ground - if there's a red carpet on it.
My brother-in-law Thomas hasn't changed.
He's hoping to join the board of the real estate firm he works for.
A capitalist dream might come true.
... go for it!
But the firm was bought by a US corporation.
"Toxic Masculinity”
So he has to take "Sensitivity Coaching”.
Domination.
Obviously no German word for it.
The idea was that Thomas learn
to respect other people's sensitivity.
Or even that other people can be sensitive.
Besides their successful careers,
Thomas and Anna love their daughter Paula.
She's a real sweetie.
Good thing she's not a boy named Adolf.
My wife Elisabeth still works as a school teacher in Bonn.
Just part-time now,
but better than not at all.
And the teachers left are all full-time burnt out.
It's an education crisis.
Bad for our children, too, Caius and Antigone.
They're back after a year in England.
An expensive year.
First impressions can be deceiving. No courses in sorcery.
And then there's Dorothea.
Chill. I'm just smoking a j.
My mother-in-law. Elisabeth and Thomas' mother.
And wife of René, whom she adopted as a child.
Shakespeare would've loved this family.
Speaking of family,
Dorothea and René had twins 3 years ago.
With the help of a Spanish lesbian surrogate mother: Lucia.
Hi!
... who also happens to be the step-sister of Thomas and Elisabeth.
All somewhat dubious.
Maybe too much for Shakespeare after all.
So, that leaves me.
I've been going through changes.
I used to be a university professor.
Highly respected.
Acclaimed for my literary expertise.
But I've withdrawn from academic life to pursue personal goals.
I'm busy writing a novel of my own ...
... have a healthy work-life balance ...
... and help with the house work.
Things couldn't be better.
What's he doing?
Watch out!
I'm sorry!
Careful!
THE NICKNAME
THE DAY BEFORE
Love you.
Love you, too.
We stay cool whatever happens.
Whatever happens.
Gotta take this.
The name's Wittmann.
Reservation's for Boettcher.
We booked the Wedding Chalet.
Our bride and groom!
Welcome to the resort.
Thanks.
Have a good trip? - Yes, super.
Fine.
I just need a signature.
There.
I hope you don't mind my asking,
but would it be ok if we did a selfie?
Sure. No problem. - Cool.
Here we go ...
Super. Thanks.
You were great in that movie.
I forget the title ...
"Party Night". - Right! Party Night.
Awesome. You danced great.
Thank you. - Really cool.
What was that? - Nothing.
I have a question. Is there an inside pool?
For us to pool around in?
I was just curious.
We have both. Indoor and outdoor, both heated.
So, here's your keycard.
Enjoy your stay with us
at Mountain Resort. Thank you.
Mama?
Hey!
Goodbye to peace and quiet, huh?
When did you get here?
Monday.
I came right after the funeral in Munich.
Who died?
Lore. An old friend.
Well, she was really old.
She was my age.
Didn't hold up as well.
Obviously.
A shame René can't come until tomorrow.
He can't get away from Lanzarote?
Depends on who you ask.
I have to get dressed. Naked under this.
Thanks for the info.
Later.
I told you we'd need winter tires.
So you did.
It's the law in Austria.
I know.
You said we wouldn't need them because of climate change.
Global warming.
Next time I'm taking the train.
Have a good trip?
So so.
Where's the little one?
Paulie's coming tomorrow. On the train with my parents.
Paula gets carsick.
Thomas doesn't want puke on his leather seats.
Nappa leather!
Caius was the same.
He lowered the window once to throw up
and the wind blew it back in onto the rear windshield.
Ten years ago. The car still stinks.
Know what? I've had it. I'm buying a new one.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
You're taking notes?
It's not against the law.
He's trying to write a novel.
"Trying"? I'm writing one. End of story.
You have a sauna up there.
I booked you a chalet
so you'd have a little privacy.
Young love.
Like it?
Yes ...
What he wants to say is:
Thanks for the invitation but you didn't need to pay for it.
Sure?
Quite sure.
Hey, forget about money.
It's not important.
Meet us on the roof for champagne.
Later!
When?
Not sure. In an hour?
Show-off.
I'm skeptical.
Up here!
When are you going to tell them?
I'd rather not at all.
Come on.
The spa here is paradise!
Can't you get married there?
Don't want to bring you down,
but outdoor saunas are an ecological disaster.
That's true.
You just said the sauna here is great.
That's true, too.
So ...
Everybody...
Nice that you're all here to celebrate our wedding
in Austria's highest chapel.
It's a shame Anna's parents and Paulie aren't here yet.
Paula.
But we'll celebrate anyway.
And how! Nothing against Anna's parents but they're a little, well ...
Cheers!
Skol.
Please don't keep saying 'Paulie'. - Why not?
"Paulie” is cute. - See.
It's annoying!
The day care teacher sent her to the boys room
because she thought Paula's a boy.
Was a boy.
Now Anna puts a pink ribbon in her hair
SO everyone can see. A girl!
Nothing wrong with that.
Why shouldn't girls dress like boys?
Not this discussion again!
But ask Thomas why he always calls her Paulie.
It's my nickname for her.
Don't you all have nicknames?
I never had one.
I call Stephan Stephan.
Well, I call Elisabeth Sabeth, like in Homo Faber.
Max Frisch's novel.
René called me 'Mommy' once, but ...
it just didn't feel right.
I think he calls her Paulie because he wanted a boy.
Ridiculous.
So he can act a little like she's a boy.
It's like the Pink Panther's name.
And he's male.
But pink.
I need a smoke.
Good idea.
Thought you wanted to quit?
YOU wanted me to quit. Not my idea.
Oh, Tiggy.
Quit calling her Tiggy.
Her name is Antigone. A beautiful name.
No need for silly nicknames.
I'm going to my room.
Why?
I don't feel well.
And I'm a little cold.
Let's go inside? - Yes indeed.
Wow. What a view.
Must be great for you being so famous now, huh?
Yeah, kinda nice.
It gives you a voice you can use.
For female empowerment.
Makes you a role model for women.
True.
Excuse me, could we maybe take a picture together?
Okay. - Thanks.
Thanks. - Sure.
Takes getting used to, right?
Anna being recognized?! - No, it's super.
Puts her in a good mood.
And she's still taking your name?
Boettcher is a good last name.
She'll use Wittmann as her stage name.
Why not a hyphenated one?
They sound like shit.
Mine's Berger-Boettcher.
Or you just change yours to Wittmann.
What would my company think?
That you married?!
I don't work in some small town bank.
At my career level - not good for my standing in the firm.
Precisely.
Say, why'd you decide to retire?
Your work meant everything to you.
Men today are not defined solely by their careers.
Not if they no longer have one.
Oh, Thomas.
How are you two making ends meet?
You said you'd like to buy a car. How?
You're only working part-time?
Right.
We survive on tutoring.
Is that a new government program? Like welfare?
Like private lessons!
The teacher shortage has produced huge gaps in learning.
Without private tutors the entire education system would collapse.
Wait a minute.
You work part-time, adding to the teacher shortage
and make money by tutoring students
who have problems in school because of the teacher shortage?
Contributing to!
If that's how you want to put it.
It's brilliant. Like firemen starting fires.
Like the novel, The Arsonists. Sorry. And firewomen.
Thomas is just pissed off because 5 times a week
he has to go to what's she called, a sensitivity coach?
Yeah, gender equality sucks.
I have nothing against gender equality.
But men aren't the reason for all the injustices of the world.
So who is?
Women?
Sure. Women, too!
No?
Okay...
Fun fact:
The majority of women worldwide marry men who earn more than they do. Why?
Because worldwide they're paid less than men.
No, strangely enough,
that also goes for the top female earners.
They marry even richer guys. Why?
Women don't find men sexy who have lower social status
and spend their money. Or?
What's that mean?
Men marry good looks and women tend to go for status.
Oh, please!
That's 5 million years of evolution. Good luck!
Old white guys explaining the world to us again.
So, more of the 'old white guys' crap.
That's discrimination, too! It's ageism!
Did you of all people just use an anglicism?
That's how far we've come.
What are we talking about?
Age, origin, gender, they're all inherited!
Are you complaining about being privileged since birth?
Him? Privileged?
I want a happy wedding.
Could we just talk about something else?
How are Pablo and Enrico?
Fine.
Don't you think it's about time that Paulie met his cousins?
See, "that Paulie met his cousins". She's not a boy.
She's right.
Calm down.
She'll have a dress on at the wedding, like it or not.
How do you really know Paula's a girl?
You know about the birds and the bees?
You have changed her diapers, right?
A vulva or a penis does not define genders.
Gender. Singular.
That's what bothers you?
I'll never say Paulie again. I'll never say anything.
Thank you.
What's your problem?
Maybe Paula is non-binary. It's too early to tell.
Tiggy, you're starting to get annoying.
Are you against tolerance and gender equality?
No! Of course not.
But half the kids in school can't even read right.
They send each other violent clips. I'm glad they don't kill each other.
Whataboutism.
That's whataboutism.
And it's something bad, I guess.
That's when you use problems to avoid problems
The classic line is: "Don't we have bigger problems?"
There are bigger problems than whataboutism.
Know what? I don't care what you call it.
I just wish we'd talk about real problems.
Discrimination and abuse of power are real problems.
This may sound weird,
but with the wedding coming up,
can't we talk about something other than problems?
How about checking out our chalet?
It's so cool.
So, the bedroom.
With a sauna and infrared shower.
I prefer to shower with water.
If he showers at all.
And here we have the kitchen.
Thomas can cook for us.
Huh?!
Oh, yeah. Living room.
And fireplace.
The perfect setting for a dream wedding.
We had a civil ceremony.
The venue was very nice.
But in Bonn.
You haven't had nearly enough sensitivity coaching.
Do you ... - No, I ...
Guys ...
I know harmony is not the superpower of this family.
And I've been around a while. And that's really okay.
But it would be great if we could at least agree to not argue at our wedding.
Would not.
Anna's right.
Harmony's good. We can all try.
Male and female.
Didn't you hear what Anna just said?
People are entitled to self-determination.
Amen.
That goes for gender, too.
Now you want sex change surgery?
You sure get some things confused.
I choose my identity.
If I were to change my pronouns now, you'd have to respect that.
Too hypothetical for me.
Then I'll make it real. I'm changing my pronouns.
No more she/her but they/them.
What's that mean?
That she's provoking us.
Ah, "they" want to.
Enough of this!
"zey/zem" ...
I reject that for linguistic reasons alone.
I don't know. I've always been for feminism, but all this ...
Isn't it just "in"? And everybody goes along with it.
It's not suddenly "in", it's "finally possible”.
But does it help feminism?
No! Enough!
As long as you and your vulva sit at my table,
you're a normal woman with normal pronouns.
And that's that!
Our daughter. Everything's about her.
She'll cool down.
Did you see that look of hers?
Tiggy?
No, not Antigone.
Annal
No, how?
She's sitting pretty.
That people actually want a selfie with her!
Unbelievable.
It's nice.
For whom?
For Anna. And her fans.
No reason to look down on me.
Fame is fleeting.
When I've finished my novel ...
Anna will have earned a lifetime achievement award.
I think she's modest about it.
Even worse.
She takes it for granted.
But I see through her.
Good night.
About your marriage vows ...
What?
Written them already?
Long time ago. You too?
Of course.
Good.
Last minute ideas are usually crap.
The biggest day of our lives,
it's worth the effort.
Ready for the bride?
Never readier.
What are you doing?
Last chance for premarital sex.
Leave the lights on.
What the ...?
Come on. It's more intimate.
I have an idea.
What if we save this for our wedding night?
Are you miffed?
No.
I love you.
Good night.
Everybody misses you.
But you've packed?
Not yet. Too busy.
First we had to buy shoes. Then the boys' music lesson.
Couldn't Lucia do that?
Better if I keep an eye on things.
If you say so.
Well, I had a very relaxed ...
Hold on.
That's Pablo.
But Luci...
Perfect weather!
Shit ...
What?
Their train was cancelled. My parents are still in Berlin.
What? - Oh, no.
I bet they were standing on the wrong platform again.
Elisabeth's really missing something ...
Maybe she brought work along.
Hotel tutoring.
Shit. Hold on.
Call Caius and Antigone. Maybe they want to come.
I bet they're still sleeping.
Who keeps calling you?
Lars.
Who is Lars?
Chief Legal & Corporate Affairs Officer.
One more time for me.
I know the big meeting is in 3 weeks,
but they'll understand your being offline for 2 days
to marry the mother of your child.
You think?
Yeah, or someone might snatch me.
Dreadful thought.
I'll take that.
Your phone.
Come on. Look!
It's off. And gone. Let's go?
I'm freezing.
Ladies, here you go.
Thanks.
I'm so happy for you two.
Sometimes I wonder if I can handle it all.
What?
Everything.
Child... Acting...
Child #2:
Thomas. Actually, mostly Thomas.
He's so childish at times.
Like now. He's skiing without a helmet.
With our wedding tomorrow.
Sorry, he's your son.
I know.
Know what makes Thomas so endearing?
His headstrong nature.
Yeah.
When he was still small we vacationed not far from here.
We arrived and not one minute later his tongue was frozen onto a lamp mast.
We had to call the fire department. Crazy.
When we left he did the same thing.
Tongue stuck to the mast. Fire department ...
What?
Yeah. But this time he had a bottle of warm water to free himself.
And then, with his numb tongue, he said:
"Do it yourthelf."
I know he can be childish, but ...
he's the guy who gets to ride in the fire truck
and gets a helmet.
Want to marry a guy like him or one who never licks the mast?
You mean like Stephan?
Where is he anyway?
What's he doing?
Watch out!
I'm sorry!
You should have woken them earlier.
They won't fall asleep tonight.
Keep the change. - Thanks.
I wrote it down for you.
In Spanish!
Yes.
What are they having for dinner?
What's on the list I wrote?
Yeah. Okay.
Hello.
Koenig's the name. I just arrived.
Welcome to Mountain Resort.
Have a pleasant trip? - Yes, thanks.
Nice to hear.
I can manage.
Well?
Just a torn ligament.
Oh, you poor thing.
I thought you were going to pick us up.
I was just about to but now you're here.
René's here!
You can't be too careful.
There's so much cat shit in the sandbox at the playground.
Cat shit. Caca de gato.
Pablo ate some once.
Great! It's beautiful here!
You enjoy it, yes?
| sure will!
We ...
We ... We didn't decide what the kids will eat.
Lucia's ignoring my nutrition plan again.
I'll give her another quick call.
What?
How nice that you're here.
No greeting?
Oh, yes. You're right. Sorry.
Things have been so hectic.
You're here now.
I'm sure Lucia has everything under control.
I don't know if you're the best judge of that.
You've been gone so long.
I know you and Lore were close friends, but 4 weeks for a funeral?
I helped with the estate and then ...
Doesn't matter.
You're here now and it would be so nice if you got into the spirit of this wedding.
And your calm disposition would be good for everyone.
I'll try.
And I need you, too.
Well, so much for skiing, huh?
Well ...
I'll use the spa.
Or spend some time with Caius. A little fatherly care.
He's started weight lifting.
Okay, but what do you want me to do?
Take steroids and wear a cap backwards?
Talk to him maybe? That would be a start.
I'm not looking.
What was that?
What?
That.
Didn't even notice it.
Must have bumped into something.
You didn't notice it?
I bruise easily.
It must hurt.
You do your nails.
I'm distracting you.
Hi! - Hello.
Hi!
Well?
Well what?
How much?
How much ...
How much are you lifting?
Ten on each side.
Kilos? - Pounds.
That's 5 kilos!
No, a pound is 454 grams.
The Brits ...
When I was your age I was quite athletic.
Ping pong.
Cool.
Well ...
Then ...
See you later.
Okay.
Hey ...
You really scared me.
How's the foot? - Fine. What are you doing?
Nothing!
Since when are you into spas?
Two minutes.
Weight lifting's not my thing.
What, you pumping iron?
No, I ...
I don't know how to get through to my son.
He's doing bodybuilding now.
Really?
Yes.
You have to impress him with something you do well.
And no offence but bodybuilding it's not.
Then what?
No idea - you're good with words. Give a speech or something.
Lars?
I'm going in the sauna.
Can you stop? Are you stalking me or what?
What on earth are you doing?
What are you talking about?
Did you just take a picture?!
A picture of what?
Are mobiles allowed in the sauna?
I need it for the ... timer.
Phones are more accurate.
Sure. In saunas, every second counts.
Well ...
I'm going back out.
I didn't hear your timer.
It's muted.
So how do you know when the time is up?
Is this an interrogation?!
Now they're stranded in Nuremberg.
What?!
A real mess!
My father's trying to rent a car.
Oh, man!
It'll work out.
If I may... oh, God...
have your attention for a moment.
I'm a professor and ...
was - a professor and not letting a professor give a speech
is like ... what do I know,
inviting a musician to a wedding and not letting him play.
Pablo and Enrico ...
Whatever! Anna, what's wrong with you?
Willingly marrying into this family.
I only know this one.
So I don't know if it's customary everywhere
for families to have small or huge crises every single time they meet.
One member comes up with weird names for his unborn child.
A mother marries the son she adopted and takes his name.
Some change pronouns
and behave in conspicuous or strange ways.
It's always something.
On the other hand, one must ask:
Which families in literature are the most interesting?
Thomas ...
...Mann's "Buddenbrooks".
High drama.
And drama not as a literary genre.
Fontane's "Effi Briest".
High drama.
Boll's "Billiards at Half-past Nine”, high drama.
I could go on and on. Don't worry, I won't. So ...
Turbulent families seem to have a certain appeal.
They challenge us.
And you, dear Anna ...
... have accepted this challenge.
That you want to marry Thomas
proves one thing.
You really love him.
And maybe even this family a little.
And therefore ...
A very warm welcome!
To you!
To us all!
To the Koenigs, the Wittmanns ...
the Boettchers and the Bergers.
To your health.
Cheers!
Stephan, that was really ...
That was ...
Awesome!
Who would've thought ...
So?
What?
Cool speech?
Yeah.
Let's hope we don't have any more accidents.
And that we're all not so self-absorbed.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Did I miss anything?
Antigone announced yesterday that they/them changed pronouns.
People can now choose the pronouns they want.
And that means - correct me -
she/her for people who feel feminine,
he/him for those who feel masculine,
and they/them for those who feel non-binary.
I don't understand a thing.
Is this something new?
I've been so busy with the twins I haven't even been watching the news.
You never did.
Stuff like that isn't in the news.
Maybe not in yours but in mine.
You bet.
Does everyone have their own news now?
Sort of.
Complicated. I'm glad I'm out of that.
Withdrawal is not a solution
Withdrawing.
When you change a full diaper, you withdraw fast.
And that's a solution.
You'll see when you're a mother.
Well ...
As I've already said several times, we're all here to celebrate our wedding.
Right. And this arguing just creates problems.
Problems for people who don't have any.
First world problems.
For everyone else it's liberating.
This discussion is not liberating us.
Maybe you're not objective because you were canceled.
You were canceled? What's that mean?
Nothing.
I didn't think you left the university voluntarily.
Nonsense. - Well ...
I didn't do anything wrong.
Well ...
Can you stop "well"ing me from two sides.
What happened?
It's a long story. I'm putting it in my novel.
You can all buy it and read about it.
Stephan used insensitive language.
Aha.
I used insensitive language very sensitively.
To demonstrate insensitive language.
I don't understand a thing.
Heinrich Boell wrote a story with the title "The Dead 'I-Word' in Duke Street".
The dead "I-Word"?
Indian.
You don't use that anymore.
I know. I said so in my lecture.
The word 'Indian' was used in Boll's day.
It's viewed critically today.
The same goes for the "N-Word".
Did you say "the N-Word"?
Or did you say the N-Word?
I said the N-Word.
It's okay if you said "the N-Word".
No, I didn't say "the N-Word". I said the N-Word.
Huh? Did you say it or not?
I used it to make a point.
Even I know that's a no go.
As part of a linguistics seminar
I'm not even allowed to say what the seminar is about?
Using the word you reproduce its effect.
You should have at least issued a trigger warning.
I really tried to do everything correctly.
But I don't understand what good it is
if even the smallest mistake gets you compared with Nazis.
Or gets you fired as if you set an refugee center on fire.
Home for asylum seekers.
Asylum Seekers Home.
No, refugee home.
Immigrant shelter.
Notice? Almost impossible to be right.
I meant well.
If anybody here is not a racist, then me.
Then you shouldn't use racist words.
She has a point.
Come down from your high horse.
Not too long ago, you were the big hypocrite.
He called you the Queen because he thought you were gay.
That was an affectionate nickname. And not said in public.
So then it isn't discrimination or what?
Sure I say things in private that I wouldn't in public.
Hypocrite!
Sensitive, not for moral reasons, but because it's good for your career.
A key qualification.
Take Immanuel Kant:
the difference between responsible ethics and ethics of conviction.
Know what's hypocritical?
The whole stupid debate.
The people who supposedly wanted the best for society
turned out to be the biggest assholes in history.
The church and its inquisition, Islamists ... China ...
Cultural Revolution.
Yes, the communists, the socialists, the fascists.
I prefer the assholes who know they're assholes.
At least I don't have to join in the hypocrisy.
It's always about power; that's how people are.
But you're not saying that we should therefore stop trying to improve society.
That's exactly what that cynical materialist is saying.
Kant occasionally used the N-Word in a racist way.
So we 'cancel' everything he wrote?
Mama, Tiggy, let's go upstairs.
Just when it's getting interesting
That's why.
I'm still eating.
Take your time.
Let's try on our dresses for tomorrow.
And me?
Since you have one corduroy suit
that you've worn to every wedding and funeral for the last 20 years,
probably will to your own, too,
I don't think you really need to see how it looks.
Later!
See you.
How about us going to the bar and talk a little?
Family cohesion!
I nan
Just you and me?
Yeah. Why not?
Should do it more often.
We should.
What did you say?
We could do that.
Sure. Good idea.
Awesome!
Come on up, I'm waiting for you!
That's nice!
I was wondering if you were going to wear a dress, now that you ...
Today people can wear whatever they want.
Yes, but still, you decided to wear a dress.
Can we just drop the subject?
Ceasefire.
You good?
Fine, thanks.
Wanna buy me a tequila sunrise?
You did see it.
Just the trailer.
That line wasn't in it.
You're ok? - Yes.
Pinot Blanc.
I ordered for us.
It's not a fake.
Cool that you came.
Who could deny the bride a wish?
If anyone, you.
Think so?
We've had our beefs.
Lots.
But "beef" for me is still meat from cattle you eat.
Whatever ...
Well... No idea.
Arguments?
Altercations? Differences?
Discord? Strife? Disputes?
Friction?
I get it! - Skirmishes? Feud ...
All right.
We're just not on the same wavelength.
Apparently. Perhaps only seemingly.
But I'm going to be part of this family
as you mentioned in your eloquent speech.
And somewhere behind all your smart words and your know-it-all attitude
you're actually a nice guy.
At least nice enough that we don't have to fight whenever we meet.
It would help if you,
behind the fashionable slang and the fuck you facade,
would be a little nice, too.
It would?
I admit ...
I wasn't always nice to you.
But sometimes ...
Yes?
I think you're a real asshole.
Sorry, but ...
When you insist on some word ...
and when that shit-eating grin appears, I know ...
he's going to say something super smart
and think he's so fucking cool.
"Fucking cool" is, of course,
a term that should not be in the vocabulary of anyone over 18.
Exactly what I mean.
But, you know ...
Somehow I admire it, too.
Nonsense.
No, really.
Well, if that's true,
you disguise it extremely well.
Makes you a better actress than I thought.
You're so super sure of yourself and have a way with words.
When I think about how I stutter around in interviews.
Or with my wedding vows for Thomas.
Vows?
Yeah, we want to recite our vows at the wedding.
I've been working on them for weeks but I only come up with kitsch.
Like ...
"Love is the only thing that increases when you share it."
That level.
Like me to take a look?
At my vows?
They're quite personal.
Good literature always is.
You're a star in that!
At every dance for seniors.
Bought it just for this.
When? 30 years ago?
1250 euros?
It was on sale.
Along with what?
You're both so annoying.
So, put your dress on.
I'm good at stupid comments, too.
Honestly,
women showing each other their dresses is such a cliché.
I could be somewhere making SUV owners sorry.
But I'm here talking about fashion.
Hey, relax!
If everybody relaxed, nothing in the world would change.
I was at every demonstration.
The war in Vietnam, nuclear power plants, and so on.
And now? You're on Lanzarote eating hash cookies.
No, it's okay.
"They" is right.
But you know, at some point you realize that all this hitting the streets,
the demonstrations, the discussions,
that it doesn't achieve as much as we had hoped.
Look at the condition the world is in.
But who knows what condition it would be in if nobody had demonstrated.
Nice that you're so idealistic.
So, now stop bugging my Mama.
At least she takes a stand.
Not to sound mean or anything, but you skipped the rebellion phase
and went straight into don't give a shit mode.
That's very mean.
Yeah, but I've never seen you fiery about anything.
I raised you and your brother, burning the candle at both ends.
I mean politically.
I'm just a boring mom for you, right?
But you think my brother's cool.
No! - The businessman, life in the fast lane.
But I'm the one at home with the Tupperware or what?
Really! Never "fiery about anything"!
Thanks a lot.
Hey, don't ...
What's this here?
Trust.
And there?
Secret.
And this here?
Happiness.
It's shit, right?
It sounds a little like Al wrote it.
But not the pay version.
We'll get it sorted out.
Here, the beginning.
Wouldn't it be better not to start out with something corny
but with something very personal?
How did you two meet?
Tinder.
Maybe yours is not so bad after all.
Tinder.
Isn't that where you send each other explicit photos?
What do you mean?
Pictures of ...
uh, mid-body ...
You mean dick pics?
I guess.
I've never ever gotten one.
And I hope I never do.
Disgusting.
Why'd you ask?
No idea.
Never mind. Something else. Your first date?
Awesome. We landed in bed so fast.
Well ...
That's all I really need to know.
But our first kiss was mega cute.
On that first date my spoon fell on the floor.
We both ducked under the table to get it and kissed.
Even before the appetizer.
That's something to work with. Write!
Dearest Boo ...
Good evening. - Hello.
Come back out. We love you the way you are!
Mama!
I didn't mean to hurt you.
Provoke you a bit, yes.
You did a good job.
I have a little grass.
How about a peace joint?
Alright, folks.
You asked for it.
Am I disturbing you?
No.
Wanted to see how my nephew's doing.
Guitar ...
Feel like playing something?
Sure thing. - Yes?
Okay.
One of mine?
Yes. Sure.
Okay.
People like us
Got troubles
Live in bubbles
That's no way
People like us
Want to live
Want to give
Give it all we got
People like us
Don't shove
Wanna love
Love a lot
People like us
Want recognition
No conditions
That's for sure
Sit alone asking why
Think I'm gonna cry
Sittin' on the lawn
All the people gone
People like us
Sit alone asking why
Think I'm gonna cry
Sittin' on the lawn
People and me
Can't you see
Sit alone asking why
Think I'm gonna cry
Sittin' on the lawn
People and me
People like me
No, I ...
No, one more time ...
No way!
Hey, what's up?
Well?
Didn't we agree on no phones?
What?
You were just talking to someone.
I was rehearsing my speech.
I want to ...
Never mind.
You're not having an affair, are you?
Where'd you get that idea?
Chill.
Just a question.
Sure.
You have to tell them sometime.
You can't avoid it forever.
Tonight wasn't exactly motivating.
Why are they so ...
damn out of it?
Because they're parents?
How was your evening?
Best friends now, you and Anna?
Was pleasant.
You still have to sign this.
Are those all 50s?
Not this discussion again.
18, 19, 20.
There are 20 of them. That's 1000 euros.
2000 D-marks!
My brother's only getting married once.
I hope.
For that much he'll get married more often.
At our wedding he gave us a salt shaker!
I liked it.
Without any salt!
He wasn't well-off then.
But he is now. So much so that he doesn't need more.
It's like giving a farmer potatoes.
They're not your potatoes.
I'm going to get dressed up.
Well, I've already received my dressing down.
Wedding day!
What's wrong?
Don't tell me you've called it off.
What are you talking about?
What did he do?
Nothing!
Anna's parents can't get a rental.
They forgot their driver's licences.
And now they won't make it on time.
Paulie, too.
Paula!
Paula won't be able to remember anyway.
We can photoshop her into the pictures and say she was there.
And my parents?
They're so old they won't remember either.
Come on, Anna.
We'll make the best of it.
It's still your day.
I'm so sorry,
but at this point we still don't know what happened.
We've called the police.
Please be patient.
Of course.
It's unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
So? - Well.
Some kind of action art.
Somebody sprayed all the cars.
What?
Incredible.
Our car, too?
Our car? For sure not.
I can't imagine that either.
Come on, we have to go. Mama's waiting.
Not so fast!
Ciao, thanks.
Is this okay with the dress?
You look great.
Thanks. But so does Anna.
You look like I would if I had to marry Thomas.
Greetings!
Greetings.
Hard to believe but true
Today's the big day for
you two!
May every day of your lives
be full of highs
And so fate takes its course
But for a good marriage
Trust is the source!
Yes. Very nice.
Best wishes from the East Tyrolean Mountain Lift and Cable Company.
Cool having the gondola all to ourselves.
So thoughtful.
And the decoration!
Wonderful.
So exciting.
Anna, enjoy it.
Maybe your parents can join us on Zoom.
Come on.
How long does the ride last?
15 minutes, I think.
Hey, relax.
I'm claustrophobic.
You have claustrophobia?
Agoraphobia is the fear of wide open spaces.
That would be less of a problem in here.
That really helps.
Have you had breakfast?
Don't tell me the boys are watching TV again.
Let her handle it!
I call again shortly.
You okay?
Couldn't be better.
I feel queasy.
Please don't puke on my dress, okay?
To breathe into.
And you're sure you're fine?
Everything lately has been about the twins.
We're on our way to Thomas and Anna's wedding
and you keep calling Lanzarote.
Try for once this weekend to be in the here and now.
You haven't been recently.
Not in my here and now. You were just gone.
Let it go. She was at a funeral.
For four weeks!
Well, that is a little ...
I can empathize. You're a helicopter mom!
But you can't always just disappear when things get difficult.
Always disappear?
You do have a tendency to ...
But I didn't disappear.
What then?
I don't think this is the right moment,
but if you really want to know ...
I had surgery.
What?
For what?
It doesn't matter now.
No?
Something serious?
I had a small tumor in my breast. And had it removed.
It's over and everything's okay.
Why didn't you tell us?
Me especially.
I didn't want anyone to worry.
We're your children!
That's what we're here for. To worry.
And I thought you left me with the boys.
I didn't leave you. But ...
We're drifting apart.
Mentally and ... physically.
What do you mean?
We used to have sex twice a week.
Happy Place... Happy Place...
How old are you people?
Not old enough to want to hear my mother talking about her sex life.
What?
Nothing.
You "pffted".
You're usually not so prudish.
What's that supposed to mean?
What's going on?
Nothing.
Except for a little photo shoot in the sauna.
What's he talking about?
Nothing and that for too long.
Then we'd better delete the sentence in your vows:
"Trust is the secret to happiness.”
How does he know that?
That's not the issue now!
Did you read them?
No.
What?
But you didn't write them.
So what if I did.
Holy fucking shit!
Just say no!
Your vows ...
... are from him?
He helped me a little. So what?
In ancient Greece there were speechwriters.
In ancient Greece they also oiled themselves
and played sports stark naked. So what?
You haven't said one nice word to me in years.
Or written one.
It was like a job. I'd never say things like that.
That's just it.
But maybe I could make some extra money as a speechwriter.
You don't need to.
I don't?
No.
And why not?
Did you ever notice that for months now we haven't had financial worries?
Even though you're unemployed? - I thought the private lessons ...
You really think that pays so well?
With what then?
Bitcoins.
How do you know that?
I'm not stupid.
But I am or what?
Short-term, high volatility.
Don't all look so amazed!
Am I only supposed to read cookbooks or what?
I tried it. Just for fun.
And then, surprise, I have a knack for it.
Took a few courses, follow the news, a bit of intuition and ...
You've sold your soul.
You were just plucking cash from the wedding present
So you be quiet.
You didn't?!
Well, somebody has to worry about our income.
That's not you.
By the way, Bitcoins use more energy than Belgium and New Zealand combined.
An Austrian number.
Well, answer it.
Yes?
How would you know that?
You have a survei...
Is that even allowed?
I don't want to make a statement right now.
Listen, we're having a wedding here today.
This can certainly wait until tomorrow ...
I understand.
Bye.
What was that about?
The hotel has surveillance cameras in the parking area.
So what? - We're on the footage.
Who? We? So what?
Us.
Mama, Antigone and me.
We were there last night.
I don't count. I'm a minor.
Wait a minute ...
You sprayed the cars?
I didn't think they'd find out so fast.
Don't gawk at us like that.
It was fun.
I almost fell for it.
Don't scare us like that.
It really was us. We just wanted to have some fun.
It was a protest action.
So it was one of your ideas.
No, it was my idea.
I have ideas too sometimes. Hard to believe, huh?
And that was your idea for today, for our wedding?
Better than the idea you had in the sauna.
Can you cut it out? I didn't do anything in the sauna.
There! - What?
You made that face again.
The one you make whenever you lie.
Yes.
Could you all just stop it?
This was going to be my day!
Maybe mine a little, too?
As if you really cared.
You proposed between Zoom calls.
You didn't even kneel down.
This was to be my day.
No offence, but every day is your day.
You're always on a red carpet.
Maybe you should think a little about people on the other side of the world.
You want me to apologize that I want to have a wonderful wedding day?
As if your fucking protest wasn't just about you.
You just want to feel more with it. But that fits.
Everyone here just thinks about themselves.
Anybody else have something to say?
Now's the time!
Yes?
I had my name changed.
I had my name changed legally.
I wanted to tell you the whole time.
I don't understand. Your name isn't Berger anymore?
My first name. - What?
My first name.
And what is it now?
Adolf.
Anyone have smelling salts?
Nobody ever does, René!
And what ...
Shit.
What is it now?
Harry.
This is ridiculous. Did you know?
That he was thinking about it. But not that he did it.
Why Harry?
That's what my friends call me. Like Harry Potter.
Because I was at an English boarding school.
Son Harry Potter, daughter terrorist,
wife capitalist - lucky me.
If you had been in Sweden would your name be Pippi now?
I didn't know you could change your first name.
If you prove you're old enough and your name causes you distress.
I was bullied in school all the time.
Caius is a shitty name.
And who always said so?
Help ...
Why did we stop?
I'd say a technical defect.
What?
Caius is a shitty name.
You did always say that.
But you never said what you were doing in the sauna.
With your phone.
That raises questions. Big questions.
No one has any questions.
I do.
Are you having an affair?
You've been acting funny for days. Phoning secretively.
You have a bruise on your ass. Now this weird business with the sauna.
So I have a simple question. Are you having an affair?
No!
I swear!
That's true.
It's much worse.
Worse than an affair?
He's the kind who opens his raincoat and flashes.
What? - An exhibitionist.
Show her the photos.
Give me your phone.
What? No!
I want to see them and know who you sent them to.
Wait! There's nothing.
Then you can give it to me!
Can you please just trust me?
Hand it over!
That's good for trust.
I know what it seems like but ...
I'm innocent.
That all you have to say?
Why do you always assume the worst when it comes to me?
Good question. Why?
Marriage ...
... is trust and trust is not about what you know
but what about you don't know.
You don't have to know everything.
Please, just believe me!
Fuck you.
Fuck you all.
Help!
We're headed back down.
The three of them sprayed the cars!
Please.
Thanks.
Thank you, Mrs. Koenig.
You're welcome. - Next, please.
Her name is Boettcher.
Here goes.
Great.
A fitting end to this day.
Thanks for nothing.
So what now?
I'm going back to the hotel and burn my wedding dress.
Hopefully with a maximum shitty CO2 footprint.
The Reverend's waiting up on the mountain with six bride's children for Instagram!
You think there's still going to be a wedding today?
You think I'd marry someone who, after 9 years, I apparently barely know
and whose screwed-up family can't behave for one single day?
Two.
You still can't tell me what's going on.
What's on your phone?
Why didn't I think of this before?
What are you doing?
All the pictures you send are automatically in your gallery.
And they're in the Cloud. - What?
Our joint Cloud, in which you don't look very often
because then you'd see pictures of Paula or ...
Oh, my God!
I said so.
A dick pic. No shit!
A dick pic is a photograph of a male genitalia,
mostly of one's own ...
I know.
We had a guy like that in our pottery group.
Who'd you send it to?
Anna, please.
Who?
My coach.
You're having an affair with your sensitivity coach?
No, he's harassing her.
I'm not harassing anyone.
What then?
The other way around.
What?
I ... let myself be maneuvered into a situation.
I didn't know what to do.
Say no?
That didn't work.
It was always so subtle that I would've looked stupid complaining.
First it was just a compliment.
Then a hand on my knee. Very briefly.
She never said anything.
And I need her recommendation to be on the board.
It's really like that?
It's an American firm now.
If I'm not sensitive I can't be on the board.
And the bruise?
She slapped my ass so hard the receptionists almost noticed.
And there's nothing I can do. She's in control.
Welcome to our world.
To the world of women. - So now you're female again?
You had no plan?
No idea, I just thought in 3 weeks I'll be on the board. Fuck it.
Just get through it.
Welcome to the world of men!
But it got worse.
She demanded that I always be available for her calls
because she didn't want to send me messages.
And then she wanted ...
Dick pics.
Right.
That's sexual assault. Pure MeToo.
Only that in 99.9 % women are the victims. But now you're one.
I'm not a victim.
You think it's better if everyone thinks you're abusing someone
than knowing you're being abused?
You have to report it!
There are places you can do that.
They reported Papa, too.
Thanks. - Okay. I'll report it.
Know what happens then?
They'll all slap me on the shoulder and say 'great', 'super', and so on.
But I'm done! I want to be on the board.
If you can't solve your problems by yourself nobody will take you seriously.
That goes for men and women.
The body of evidence is not in Thomas' favor.
Why not?
You said she always called you.
Right?
So no messages, nothing in writing?
None.
Then Thomas is the only one who sent these ...
Dick pics. - Exactly.
And without being asked to.
Shit. You mean she wants to ...
Screw you.
I have to do something.
What? - No idea. Damage limitation.
Shit! My phone!
Calm down. Stay calm.
What about the wedding?
No clue. What about it?
Good question.
Do you still want to marry me?
Do you still want that job?
What's so important about it?
Everything?
I'll put it this way.
What would be the worst thing for you lose?
You mean ...
... really lose?
You.
Paula.
All of you.
So we finally have clarity.
I've loved you since the moment we kissed under the table on our first date.
And I know I can be an idiot.
The same for my family.
Especially him.
Even my mother.
And I ...
I ... I ...
Can somebody help me?
Could.
Who's the stupid one?
We really messed up.
Enormously. And we're so sorry.
And I was just getting accustomed to you.
So I think it would be fucking uncool if things were to end this way.
Can I ... I need that.
Will you marry me?
Finally a decent proposal!
On your wedding day. Perfect timing.
On one condition.
The police were very friendly.
There was the charge of property damage.
So Thomas and Anna could finally tie the knot.
They read their vows to each other.
They could've been a little better ...
I can be me with you.
Myself.
Without you my life wouldn't make any sense.
Wouldn't have meaning.
Main thing is, it's heartfelt.
And so I ask you, Thomas Boettcher ...
I do.
You don't have to be a prophet to predict ...
I do.
We'll be seeing a lot of each other, arguing and reconciling.
One ought to write a novel about it.
Thomas' last name is Wittmann now.
Like Anna.
That was her condition.
But what did Goethe say?
"What's in a name?"
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
You may now Kiss.
English Subtitles AUDIO2 2024 Translation by Chris Doherty