1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:08,259 [ominous music] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:18,185 [upbeat, eerie music] 5 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,150 [music winds down] 6 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:31,031 [foreboding music] 7 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:38,122 ♪ 8 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,499 [Romero] Whew! That was a damn long haul. 9 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,543 [grunting] 10 00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:45,296 Whew! 11 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,756 You smell that? Did I step in shit? 12 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,466 Kenny, I think I stepped in shit. 13 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,092 -[insects buzzing] -No, I guess not. 14 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,388 You know, I gotta get something off my chest here. 15 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:59,351 Why are testicles located on the inside in the male anatomy? 16 00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:03,731 I mean, wouldn't it be so much easier if balls were internal? 17 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,566 [chuckles] 18 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,526 Kenny, what the hell difference does it make, okay? 19 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,737 Where else would they go? The inside of your thigh? 20 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:10,988 Your gooch? 21 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,786 Kenny, you're dumber than a box of hammers, man. 22 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,997 It's a box of rocks. Even I know that. 23 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:23,334 Now... you wanna tussle? 24 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,503 Nah, I don't care to fight you. I'd win anyway. 25 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,880 Look, I'm just trying to prove a point, okay? 26 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,590 Without balls that dangle, 27 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,051 -I couldn't sack ya. -[Kenney groans] 28 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,598 What in tarnation? 29 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,433 Look up there, Romero. 30 00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:40,684 It's a snail trail, 31 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,188 left here by a celestial being 32 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,482 that dragged his unclothed naughty bits 33 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,733 across our atmosphere. 34 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,569 Uh, Kenny? 35 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,447 Kenny. You ain't right. 36 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,242 Look. That's from a jet engine. 37 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,160 A jet engine. 38 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,248 You know, I thought after your last company leave, 39 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,499 you were improving, but I guess you need 40 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,042 another company vacation, huh? 41 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,003 -I liked the purple pills. -Yeah, I bet you did. 42 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,630 They tasted fruity, 43 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,383 and it made me feel like an astronaut. 44 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,344 Right. Well, it's a shame you ain't made no progress. 45 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,722 Uh, well, other than that orderly that I choked out 46 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,267 and that one guy I turned into a vegetable, 47 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,977 I was a star patient. 48 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,979 All right, then, star patient. 49 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,939 Why don't you hurry your ass up and help me move these barrels? 50 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,316 There's much to dump. Or else I'll get myself put away 51 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,734 with you next time, and I'll... 52 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,321 eat all your berries and blast off, okay? 53 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,614 So move your ass. Let's go. 54 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:42,997 ♪ 55 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,002 -[Romero] Head out. -[Kenny] All right. 56 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,088 -[both grunting] -[Romero] All right, come on. 57 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,923 Easy. All right, easy. Okay. 58 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:56,051 Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 59 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,386 Oh, shit. 60 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,762 -Man. -Whew! 61 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,306 This is the heaviest barrel of goo 62 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,141 I've lifted in my whole entire life. 63 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:05,394 Oh, man. You know what, Kenny? Forget a herniated disc. 64 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,813 I feel like my whole rectum's about to prolapse. 65 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,649 Fuck the chemical company. 66 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,402 Designated dumping site, my ass. 67 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:17,031 I could've just dumped these chemicals in my toilet. 68 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,490 You know what? Speaking of draining, 69 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,825 I need to go drain the tattooed snake. 70 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,619 I'll be right back. I gotta go. 71 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,080 Hey, don't forget to wipe up. 72 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:26,707 You don't want a UTI. 73 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,585 [chuckles] I'll let my girlfriend deal with that. 74 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,591 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 75 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,051 -[zipper rasps] -Come on, come on, get it. 76 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:38,636 -I'll piss my pants. -[urine streaming] 77 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,346 Oh, here you go. Okay. 78 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,597 Oh. 79 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,723 [groans] 80 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,476 [sighs] 81 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,564 Oh, my God. Ah, shit. Forgot, my prostate. Fuck. 82 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,816 Ah! I knew I should've got that checked. 83 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,486 Fuck-- Ah! Ooh, ooh, ooh. 84 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,529 Come on, come on, come on. Keep going, keep going. 85 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,448 That's it. Oh, yeah, that's better. 86 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,576 Oh, God. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. 87 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:03,911 [urine streaming continues] 88 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,955 [scuffling] 89 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,666 [ominous music] 90 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,834 Kenny? Kenny, is that you? 91 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,252 Hey. Hey, buddy? 92 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,838 [whooshing] 93 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,550 Holy shit! What the-- Get the fuck-- [shouts] 94 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,679 Get it off-- [screaming] 95 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,765 [screams] 96 00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:28,435 [exclaims] 97 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:29,979 [screaming] 98 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:33,232 ♪ 99 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:41,031 Ah! Throw my back out, at my age, son of a bitch. 100 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,327 That's a hell of a stream you got going on there, Romero. 101 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:47,955 Piss me a river. 102 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,209 Hey! 103 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,086 Help, Romero! 104 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,337 Help! 105 00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:58,465 [garbled shouting] 106 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,389 [choking, burbling] 107 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:11,353 ♪ 108 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:16,817 [intense music] 109 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,702 [man 1 crying] Those bastards are monsters. 110 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,164 I wish I'd never left for that place. 111 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:34,043 [woman] This is why you don't go into nature. 112 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,132 [man 2 shouting] Stop eatin' me! 113 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,805 [man 3] I wanted to live. I didn't want to die. 114 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,558 [man 4] Why did I have to die? 115 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,853 Why did they do this to me and my family? 116 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,272 They killed me. 117 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,859 And my entire family. 118 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,570 They were demonic. 119 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,364 Only demons would do what they did to me! 120 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,619 [man 5] I just wanted to look at the birds and they got me. 121 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,833 [man 6] They owe everyone. Those monsters. Those bastards. 122 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,711 [man 7] They're everywhere. 123 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,421 I can hear them at the door! 124 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,800 Oh, God, they're coming in. [sobs] 125 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,677 [reporter] Police are currently searching for a number 126 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,721 of suspicious persons in connection with 127 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,307 an apparently real murder caught on camera. 128 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:35,979 [music turns serene] 129 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,443 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, it's your birthday ♪ 130 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:44,113 ♪ You got another year older ♪ 131 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,532 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, it's your birthday ♪ 132 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,951 ♪ Another year wiser too ♪ 133 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,329 ♪ Hey, hey, babe, has your hair turned gray? ♪ 134 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,916 ♪ Maybe because it's your... b-day. ♪ 135 00:06:56,208 --> 00:07:00,546 Oh, Margie, our little girl's outgrown our birthday song. 136 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,507 -I'm very sad now. -Oh, I know, Lou. 137 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,259 Well, when a girl turns 21, 138 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,928 all that's on her mind is booze, booze, booze. 139 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,429 Yeah, well, I turned 21, 140 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,099 all my mind was on was boobs, boobs, boobs. 141 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,476 And I still like boobs. 142 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,395 It's nothing like that. 143 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,605 It's just my boyfriend Scott was supposed to be here by now. 144 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,108 He promised me a surprise gift. 145 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,360 That boy is nothing but a wanker. 146 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,114 What could he possibly offer you other than downstairs itch? 147 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,827 Well, listen, honey. Dawn, we don't want you to worry, okay? 148 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,745 I'm sure Scott is out there getting you 149 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,747 the best gift that money can buy. 150 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,583 -You think so? -Yes. 151 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,545 In fact, maybe he'll surprise you with a trip to Cancun. 152 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:44,298 I took your mother to Cancun in the eighties. 153 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:47,801 Do you recall how I acquired a sunburn on my derriere? 154 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:52,264 [giggling] Oh, how can I ever forget? 155 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,059 Ah, the eighties were a dream fever. 156 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,229 Dawn, what you need is a well-adjusted boyfriend 157 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,689 like your sister. 158 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,525 Dustin is a real winner, winner, chicken dinner. 159 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,487 Autumn, you see this card? 160 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,616 This is how you make me feel. 161 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,701 Sad. 162 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,455 I give you all the love I have and you never return the favor. 163 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:18,957 I also don't recall getting you pregnant. 164 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,584 I mean, I haven't even put my dingy thingy 165 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,044 in your love taco yet. 166 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,879 Look, Dustin, I only keep you around 167 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,589 'cause you have the best tongue game in town. 168 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,133 Really? Thanks. 169 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:33,305 But... you never tend to my needs. 170 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,891 Gross! And get near that mushroom tip? 171 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,435 I don't even like mushrooms on my pizza. 172 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,062 Yeah, that's true. They are pretty gross. 173 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,271 Yeah, they are. 174 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:48,862 [rock music playing over speakers] 175 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:53,533 ♪ Dressing like her little sister ♪ 176 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,619 ♪ High in the Hollywood hills ♪ 177 00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:56,912 Gift shopping? 178 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,872 -Yeah. What's up, bud? -Nothing. 179 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,958 Your girlfriend, or... 180 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,793 Uh, yeah, it's my girlfriend. 181 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,379 You shouldn't sneak up on people like that, bro. 182 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,214 Well, if you're buying something for your girlfriend, 183 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:08,882 I mean, I wouldn't get it here. 184 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,301 -Really? -Everything's so gimmicky. 185 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,555 You know, women like rings. You know, shiny things. 186 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,683 Even a piece of reflective tape is nice 187 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,142 if you cut it in the right shape. 188 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,561 Great idea. Maybe I'll stop by a hardware store. 189 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,188 Hardware store? 190 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,857 Yeah, okay, bro. I gotta go. Thanks. Uh, bye. 191 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:27,693 Bye. 192 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,738 Who the fuck was that? 193 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,408 Did you feed the cats? 194 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,201 I thought you were gonna feed the cats. 195 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,745 Go feed the fucking cats. 196 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,623 Why do you hurt me? 197 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,834 'Cause you deserve it. 198 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,503 ♪ Old tricks bringing her crucifix ♪ 199 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,755 -Hey, shopkeep. -Yeah. 200 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,048 Okay. All right. I need your help. 201 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,508 I'm in a bit of a sticky wicket. 202 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,427 -[cashier] Okay. -Um, 203 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,263 today is my girl's 21st birthday, right? 204 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,433 All I know is pretty much she's into, I don't know, 205 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:04,062 artsy, weird movies and really stupid, depressing indie music. 206 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,023 To be honest, she's pretty mid. 207 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,942 Um, basically, I need to get her something, 208 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,695 and I need it to look expensive and big, but be cheap as shit. 209 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,823 You get what I mean? Any events going on in town? 210 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,867 [cashier] Well, I just happen to know about 211 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,619 a little exclusive desert music festival, 212 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,873 and I happen to have some tickets for the event. 213 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,834 You know, I only have 100 bucks, 214 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:31,465 and half of that's going to gas, lambskin rubbers, and burgers. 215 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,384 [cashier] Well, in that case, I have a special deal for you. 216 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:38,930 $50, your phone number, and you'll get six tickets 217 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:42,434 to the music festival event of the year. 218 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,602 Who's playing? 219 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,145 Uh, word on the street is 220 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,523 Dr. Beef Curtis is doing a rare performance. 221 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,859 Oh, you mean Dr. Ass, that fucking asshole 222 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,487 who mooned the entire baseball stadium, right? 223 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,615 Oh, it's gonna be lit. Fuck! 224 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,783 Excuse me. 225 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,327 I should bring my main girl to that show. 226 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,163 Fuck it. Okay, sold. 227 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,289 [cashier] All right. 228 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,252 Do you take crypto? 229 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,379 Yeah. 230 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,049 Thank you very much. Make it out to the shop, all right? 231 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,842 -Okay, great. Thanks. -Great! 232 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,639 [birds squawking] 233 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,683 [ominous music] 234 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,146 What a strong, vibracious bird you are. 235 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,858 Drink up and become strong like ox. 236 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,903 I like your style. 237 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:40,409 [slurping] 238 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,370 Oh, sir. Sir. 239 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,871 Is everything cool? 240 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,582 You know, I hate to barge in like this, but-- 241 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,752 Theo. 242 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,380 Lunch is my special bird time. 243 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,881 -You know that! -Yes. Yes, sir. 244 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,675 We-- we got a real nightmare scenario. 245 00:11:56,967 --> 00:12:01,263 Uh, we-- You know our secret D-U-M-P missions, right? 246 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,764 Well, we lost another truck. 247 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,267 Now, we found it with our GPS tracking system, 248 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,228 but we've lost complete contact with Kenny and Romero, 249 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,479 two of our best guys. 250 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,231 And right now, sir, in fact, 251 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,316 this is the third group this month that we've lost. 252 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,485 People are starting to ask questions. 253 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,820 Shit, you mean our trucks 254 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,655 are exposed to the elements out there? 255 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,825 You know, my family's been dumping on those desert roads 256 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,952 for 70 years. 257 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,412 And if someone's able to track it back 258 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,205 to this company, we're all fucked. 259 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,624 Sir, don't you worry your pretty little head. You know why? 260 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,209 'Cause you see this guy standing right here? 261 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,044 This guy right here, me. I'm gonna go out there, 262 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,463 I'm gonna get the company truck, 263 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,173 and I'm gonna drive right back to our garage. 264 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,591 Does that sound good? In fact, you know, 265 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,676 the last time I drove that truck, 266 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,262 I left my bus pass in there. 267 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,222 Oh, you're not gonna tell anybody I don't have a license? 268 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,349 Stop speaking, please, please. 269 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,436 I'm gonna have Janine pick two useful idiots from the company 270 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,938 to go out there and bring that thing back. 271 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,191 I mean... 272 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,318 Caesar and Romero were good dudes. 273 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,486 Kenny. 274 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,489 -What? -Kenny. Kenny, Kenny and Romero. 275 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,449 -Oh, okay. -Caesar's the janitor, sir. 276 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,618 -He is. Well, he's a good dude. -He is a good dude. 277 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:05,994 I can't even remember what those guys look like. 278 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,537 But he is a good dude. 279 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,248 Man, he takes good care of me. 280 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,917 Yeah, really good. 281 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,211 All right, get out of here. 282 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,296 -All right, sorry, sir. -Get the fuck outta here. 283 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,714 [office din] 284 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,091 J? 285 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927 Janine? 286 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,303 Janine! 287 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,638 Pick up the phone! 288 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,351 Oh, okay. 289 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:33,980 Hey, hey. 290 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,815 Nice of you to show up late 291 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,108 to your own girlfriend's birthday party. 292 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,485 Yeah, look what the cat dragged in. 293 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,362 Busy spinning plates while your mother's out again? 294 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,405 Yeah, something like that. You know, you girls might find 295 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,241 some more action over on the corner. 296 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,825 It looked pretty busy. I don't really give a shit, though. 297 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:48,161 Is, um... birthday girl, is she inside? 298 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,205 -Yeah, no shit. -Okay, cool, thanks. 299 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,748 -Fucking asshole. -Yep. 300 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,506 ♪ And Big Dick is back in town! ♪ 301 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:02,509 Scott, why are you so late? You missed the cake. 302 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,261 -The clown! -Hey, 303 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,888 the only clown in this house is your boyfriend here. 304 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,391 He's a real wasteman. 305 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,893 Wasteman? Really? Really? 306 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,646 You visit Abbey Road, and you think you're a Brit? 307 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,482 Okay, the term is loser! 308 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:21,236 [gasps] Oh! Oh! 309 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,780 Okay, so I'm a capital L Loser. This? What-- What's this? 310 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,366 Okay, if I was such a big fucking loser, 311 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,910 how would I have managed to score six 312 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,621 of the hottest tickets in town? 313 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,082 Oh my God, did you finally get me tickets to go 314 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,834 swim with the dolphins? 315 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,711 Wait a minute, you're not swimming with the dolphins. 316 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,838 Those dumb, slimy beasts are dangerous. 317 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,091 [mimicking dolphin noises] 318 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:47,637 [all making dolphin noises] 319 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,684 Plus, those things are perverts. 320 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,936 They only think with their blowhole. 321 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,814 [mimicking dolphin noises] 322 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:01,026 Okay, yeah, whatever is right. Uh, just hear me out, okay? 323 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:04,571 There's a very exclusive, very lit music festival 324 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,031 that takes place out in the middle 325 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,616 of the Nevada desert, okay? 326 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,909 Listen, babe, they barely even made these tickets 327 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,077 available to the public. 328 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,871 You either have to know someone 329 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:16,041 or be someone to get 'em, and I am someone. 330 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,543 [giggles] That's awesome, who's the headliner? 331 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,421 Uh, yeah, I mean, I don't really have all the details yet, 332 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,882 but I did get the 411 on one performer. 333 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,133 Wait for it. 334 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,053 -Dr. Beef Curtis. -[gasps] 335 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,262 [Dustin] Yes! No way! 336 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,222 Who the fuck is Dr. Beef Curtain? 337 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,601 Uh, I don't know, old timer, why don't you educate yourself? 338 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,979 [sighs] Dr. Beef Curtis is a musical legend, all right? 339 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,773 He blew the hell up last year 340 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,610 with his smash hit single, "Cut Up and Show My Behind." 341 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,071 It's about his time working in the fast food industry, right? 342 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,656 And one day he just had it up to here 343 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,449 with his shitty drive-thru job. 344 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,742 So what does he do? 345 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,119 He drops trou, and he moons his boss. 346 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:54,788 He moons his co-workers. 347 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,456 He even moons some customers, and you know what, 348 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:59,125 it makes for one damn good hell of a song. 349 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,127 A billion and a half streams don't lie. 350 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,005 Babe, you outdid yourself this time. 351 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,799 -Hey. -You know how much I love music. 352 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,550 And festivals! 353 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,969 Hey, we're gonna cut, cut up, and show our behinds. 354 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,555 Cut up and show our behinds. 355 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,351 Hey, oh, by the way, Leo, I almost completely forgot. 356 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,936 Stupid me. Uh, 357 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,604 I'm gonna need to borrow your bedroom tonight, I think, 358 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,690 because on my last sleepover, 359 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,526 I accidentally broke your daughter's bed, 360 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,361 and her back. Ooh! Oh! 361 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,363 You might be kissing her now, 362 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,532 but who do you think taught her how? 363 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,744 Oh, okay, that's disturbing. 364 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:39,332 Um, all right, uh, if I have blessed any of you 365 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,501 with a ticket to this illustrious event, 366 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,919 uh, it's time to hit the hay, 367 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,004 because this guy needs his beauty sleep. 368 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,673 So, chop, chop. Off to bed. 369 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:47,841 -[girls cheering] -Let's go. 370 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,509 Good night, Leo. Good night. 371 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,264 He should hibernate. 372 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,392 [laughs] 373 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,893 [dog barking distantly] 374 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,647 I'm a little concerned about Parker, 375 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,275 the way he talks to that plastic bird in there. 376 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,068 Can you hear him? 377 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,654 Absolutely, yeah, like a nut cake. 378 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,030 I think he thinks it's real. 379 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,157 -He does. -He does! 380 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,283 He thinks it's alive. 381 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,911 Bill D.! Peter G.! 382 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,831 Mr. Parker needs to see you in his office immediately. 383 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,501 Listen, Janine, if it's about me using Parker's VIP restroom, 384 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:26,504 listen, please go and tell him I'm incredibly sorry. 385 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,506 The boys' room, all the stalls were occupied, 386 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,592 and I had to go so bad it was literally coming out, 387 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,302 and I did not want to go in the women's room, 388 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,511 and you remember what happened last time. 389 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,722 Smart decision, that would've been 390 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,307 a human resources nightmare. 391 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,850 -And that's why I didn't do it. -[laughing] 392 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,935 -What are you laughing at? -You. 393 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,438 You and your-- your toilet troubles. 394 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,856 -I had to go! -I know. 395 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,150 If I had to go-- if I had to go that bad, 396 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,485 I would just go out back. 397 00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,403 I would dig a hole. 398 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,155 It's something I learned as a youngling, 399 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,615 -when I lived up on the hill. -Oh? 400 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,949 -Yeah, you just-- -What are you two creeps 401 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,451 still doing yammering on? 402 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,619 Get your cheeks in motion. 403 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,120 Mr. Parker doesn't have all day. 404 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,455 -[Bill] All right. -Let's go. 405 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,207 -Get up. Get up. -What kind of hole? 406 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,708 -[Janine] Get up. Go. -[Peter] How deep is the hole? 407 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,335 -[Janine] Let's go. -[Peter] Is it deep? 408 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,795 -[Bill] Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. -Hey, Janine, 409 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,588 what happened to our dinner plans last week? 410 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,298 -We were-- -Not now! 411 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,217 Well, remember that steak challenge? 412 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,552 Please don't make me go to HR. 413 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:18,640 You know, sometimes it feels like Mr. Parker just can't lose. 414 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,685 Yeah, Mr. Parker, the true MVP! 415 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:27,023 You know, I heard he craps golden gilded turds. 416 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,359 That's just an old wives' tale. 417 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:33,571 I once snuck into the VIP restroom after Mr. Parker. 418 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,991 He left some moose droppings to mellow. 419 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,829 I took one of the turds over to the sink and washed it off. 420 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:45,500 Come to realize it's just typical brown human waste. 421 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,962 Ah! Nice ear massage. 422 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,673 I'm sure glad you boys are going on this mission. 423 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,591 Mission? I'd rather go fishing. 424 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:54,968 Hey, ow, ow! 425 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,594 [Parker] Nice work, Janine. 426 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,638 Shut the door on your way out. 427 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,306 I don't want any of the weirdos spying on us here. 428 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,434 [door latch clicks] 429 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,355 Sir, are we in trouble? 430 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,148 Nothing like that, sport. 431 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,443 I need to send you guys on a secret quest. 432 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:16,739 But sir, I've already succeeded at the ultimate quest. 433 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,199 That's disgusting. 434 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,909 No, let me rephrase that. 435 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:24,414 It's a secret mission to retrieve company property. 436 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,874 Valuable company property. 437 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,543 Oh, oh! Sir, I'm-- I'm really sorry. 438 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,878 I know what this is about. 439 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,880 The VIP toilet paper. 440 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,048 I'm the culprit. I used it. 441 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,009 You stole my goddamn toilet paper? 442 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,886 -Are you kidding me? -[Peter] I'm sorry! 443 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,220 My mom, she buys the cheap stuff, 444 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:41,431 and it-- and it breaks up into my ass, sir. 445 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,516 I-- I have to use the good stuff. I'm sorry. 446 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,851 I don't want to hear about your mom. 447 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,478 All I know is I had to use one ply yesterday. 448 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147 It was like sandpaper. 449 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,149 I had to wash my hand five times! 450 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:54,319 Can-- can-- can we just cut to brass tacks here? 451 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,653 What is this mission? 452 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,490 One of our company trucks with hazardous material 453 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:03,202 has been abandoned in the desert dumping zone. 454 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,746 I need you guys to go out there, 455 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:08,082 retrieve the truck, bring it back, 456 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,919 and clean up any mess out there first. 457 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:13,588 And this? 458 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132 This is a GPS with all the coordinates 459 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,300 of where the truck is. 460 00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,010 It's already programmed in here. 461 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:20,762 Just follow the dot. 462 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,475 Uh, this sounds too easy to me. What's the catch? 463 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:30,396 The catch is you have to clean up all the toxic waste, 464 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,315 and destroy all the evidence. 465 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,235 Okay? And then one of you has to drive the truck back solo. 466 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,988 [Peter whimpers] I was hoping we could drive back together 467 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,281 and sing together, you know, 468 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,741 I like to sing to the radio together. 469 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,826 Yeah, you're on thin ice. Stop talking. 470 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,080 If you don't retrieve the company property 471 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,541 and get it back here, you're both terminated. 472 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,044 Okay? 473 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,379 -All right, now bugger off! -All right, all right. 474 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,300 Jesus. Disgusting. 475 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,511 [sighs] 476 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:08,935 [eerie music] 477 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,646 [Scott] Oh, great, look, we're in the middle of nowhere. 478 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,148 We're running on empty. We love it. 479 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,609 All right, geniuses, keep your eyes open 480 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,444 for a gas station, please. 481 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,154 I swear I saw one about an hour back. 482 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,949 You're right, babe, it was even attached to a taco shop. 483 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,534 You know how much I love tacos. 484 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,161 I can't believe you didn't wait for Julia and Lena. 485 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:29,914 Uh, I waited for an hour and a half. 486 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,791 Fuck 'em. They can get a taxi, babe. 487 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,376 I don't know, like... 488 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,169 Oh! Crisis averted. I knew things would work out. 489 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,754 Gas station straight ahead. 490 00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,382 [Scott] You know what? Look at that. 491 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,634 For the first time in his life, Dustin is right about something. 492 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,011 Gold star for you, buddy boy. 493 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:47,557 -[bell dings] -[hooting, shouting gibberish] 494 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,600 What the fuck's wrong with this asshole? 495 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,227 [man cackling] 496 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,645 Uh, hey, come on, dude. You're fucking it up. 497 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,939 -[Joey hooting] -Oh, just relax, folks. 498 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,232 -He's harmless. -[Scott] He's fucking up 499 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,109 -my windshield even more! -Uh, no, he-- 500 00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,819 he's not gonna hurt anybody, he's just harmless. 501 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,613 He's got his own way of talking. I'm gonna interpret for him. 502 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,615 You see, he's a very affectionate fellow. 503 00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:05,616 And groovy. 504 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,243 [both cackle] 505 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,746 -[smacking lips] -[howling] 506 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,372 We don't get a lot of company around here. 507 00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,499 -[gibberish] -Oh, look who is coming in. 508 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,293 -Look who we've got here. -[gibberish noises] 509 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,962 Oh, some sweet young things. 510 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,839 Sweet 16, right? 511 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,175 Oh, what do you got under there? 512 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,135 -[girls scoff] -Oh, yeah, 513 00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:26,304 we don't get much company like you down here. 514 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:27,930 No-- no, thank you. Can you make him stop? 515 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:30,099 Oh, my goodness, he's droolin', he really likes you. 516 00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,642 -[hooting, gibbering] -You see? 517 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,352 Hey, listen. Back off, you old perv. 518 00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:35,188 She belongs to me. Okay? Cut it out. 519 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,315 I'd like to tickle her with my pickle. [cackles] 520 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:38,733 You better watch your mouth, okay? 521 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,402 All right. Suit yourself. 522 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:42,653 You got him excited now. 523 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:46,616 [cackles] The world is your oyster. 524 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,035 [ominous music] 525 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:53,081 Hi, I'm Otis Brownstein, your local gas guy. 526 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,540 Pleased to meet you. 527 00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:57,376 Sounds like "brown stain." 528 00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:01,172 I know. I was reminded in high school all the time. 529 00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:04,967 What's your name, my lady? 530 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:07,178 I'm Dawn. 531 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,721 Dawn, don't talk to that guy. He's busted. 532 00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,765 [Anton] I'd like to see the crack of Dawn. 533 00:23:10,848 --> 00:23:13,142 -Dawn! -[Scott] Listen, old man. 534 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,603 Keep your pickle in your pants. That girl belongs to me. 535 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:19,148 Take it easy. I'm harmless down there anyway. 536 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,609 What exactly is it that you need? 537 00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:24,654 Uh, gas. Not grass. 538 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:25,863 Not ass. Just gas. 539 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,115 Okay. [farts] 540 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:30,409 -[cackling laughter] -Gas! Gas! Gas! Gas! 541 00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:31,869 Gas! Gas! [farts] 542 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:35,706 [farts] Oops. I just sharted. 543 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,083 I got plenty of that. 544 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:39,752 Those toilet tacos are killing me. 545 00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:42,255 [Anton] You ate five of 'em. 546 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,507 I just need gas for the gas tank. 547 00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:48,052 Oh, gas! 548 00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:50,054 Why didn't you say so in the first place? 549 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:51,764 Where are you kids headed to? 550 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,308 Gas! Gas! Gas! Gas! Gas! 551 00:23:54,892 --> 00:23:56,811 We're going to a music festival in the desert 552 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,604 for my sister's birthday. 553 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,190 Oh, how fun! 554 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,985 I heard about it through the grapevine. 555 00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,611 Damn, your gas tank is slow, man. 556 00:24:05,695 --> 00:24:07,155 We've still got another two hours on the road. 557 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,365 I know a shortcut. 558 00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:11,576 [Anton] The secret special way. 559 00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,537 Yeah. You see that trailer? 560 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,206 You turn right over there on the dirt road. 561 00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:19,083 You'll save 40 minutes. 562 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:21,169 You know, I appreciate it, old-timer. 563 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,087 I really do, but I'm not sure I trust your directions. 564 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:24,881 Suit yourself, then. 565 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,258 I've lived here over a hundred years. 566 00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:30,595 I know this area like the palm of my hand. 567 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:32,680 [Dawn] Scott, wouldn't you rather beat the traffic? 568 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,057 We can meet Dr. Ass before he performs. 569 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:36,601 -Oh! -[Joey] Gas! Gas! Gas! Gas! 570 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,060 Maybe even see the digs he drove there in. 571 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:41,647 [sighs] 572 00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:43,691 Okay, old man, I'm listening. Spit it out. 573 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,777 Um, like I said, um, 574 00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:49,822 you drive to that, um, fork in the road 575 00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,574 where that trailer and those cars are, 576 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:54,160 and turn right, instead of going straight. 577 00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:55,536 You'll save 40 minutes. 578 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,873 Uh, okay, guys, get back in the car. 579 00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,458 Let's go. Let's go. 580 00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:02,293 Get in the car. Get in the car. Get in the car. 581 00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:03,836 [Otis cackling] 582 00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:06,714 Oh, yeah! Ta-ta! 583 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:09,050 -Ta-ta! Ta-ta! -Bon voyage! 584 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:12,011 -Ta-ta! Ta-ta! -Break your legs! 585 00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:14,013 Ta-ta! Ta-ta! 586 00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:17,600 -Oh! -Ta-ta! 587 00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:19,810 Ta-ta! Ta-ta! 588 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,312 [Otis cackling] 589 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:24,106 Arrrrgh! 590 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,025 [all chuckling] 591 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,655 What a bunch of idiots. 592 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:32,740 [trumpeting] 593 00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:34,659 Yes, they are! [cackling] 594 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,369 They [indistinct]. 595 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,412 [all cackling] 596 00:25:41,499 --> 00:25:42,667 [Bill] Let me show you what we got. 597 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,794 -Oh, yeah! -[Peter] Wow. 598 00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:48,297 [Bill] I'd say we're pretty set on the snack department here. 599 00:25:48,381 --> 00:25:49,632 -Oh, okay. -Oh, okay, there we go. 600 00:25:49,924 --> 00:25:50,925 -Chippies. -Oh. 601 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:52,969 And we got snack cakies here. 602 00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:55,638 Including all the essentials. Yeah. Yeah. 603 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:58,683 It's like a buffet of, uh, junk food. 604 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,477 But the bag is leaking, Bill. What's going on? 605 00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:03,562 Oh, that's just the chocolate syrup. 606 00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:05,356 I put syrup over everything. 607 00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:06,649 [Peter] Oh, give it a little seasoning. 608 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be delicious. 609 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:11,445 But, Bill, why are you wearing a hard hat? 610 00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,407 Oh, that's to stop the moon rock. 611 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,826 If the moon rock comes down, and tries to puncture my skull. 612 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:21,247 [chuckles] I always wear this outside the office. 613 00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:24,583 Well, Bill, our mission is now beginning. 614 00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,544 I'm psyched. I'm so ready for this thing. 615 00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:28,629 But we've got to call the boss. 616 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,006 -The boss. -Got to call Parker. 617 00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,716 The big P. Got to let him know. 618 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:32,967 -Got to let him know. -[line ringing] 619 00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:35,136 -[beep] -Parker? 620 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,470 Mr. Parker? 621 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:38,514 We are about to fly the coop. 622 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,141 The mission is now beginning. 623 00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:41,684 Do you hear me? The mission is beginning. 624 00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:44,854 [tense music] 625 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,023 This makes daddy very happy. 626 00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:55,906 [rock music playing on radio] 627 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,368 You know, weren't we supposed to do something here? 628 00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:01,287 We were supposed to go somewhere. 629 00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:03,456 No. 630 00:27:03,748 --> 00:27:04,957 We already met the weed man. 631 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,418 I had no other plans today. 632 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,254 Yeah, dude. I'm right here. 633 00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:13,632 Chilling with my besties and my best customers. 634 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,052 No, let me think for a minute. 635 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,139 Fuck, we were supposed to go meet Dawn. 636 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,433 Her boyfriend gave us those concert tickets. 637 00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,602 Oh, shit. 638 00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:26,020 Hold on, let me check my phone. 639 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:29,273 Shit, you're right. 640 00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:31,025 She texted us an hour ago. 641 00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:32,902 Says Scott left without us. 642 00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:36,197 [Dufrain] Did I ever tell you guys about the time 643 00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,366 I was an amateur race car driver? 644 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:41,160 Or that one time I had a cameo as a villain 645 00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:43,954 in Rancho: Origin of a Hero Sandwich? 646 00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,165 Dufrain, my mind is about to explode. 647 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:48,125 Just sit down and shut up. 648 00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,919 We don't even have a ticket for him. 649 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,171 [Dufrain] Don't worry. 650 00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:55,216 I've never paid for a single concert in my life. 651 00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:58,844 Dufrain is a friend to every living creature. 652 00:27:58,928 --> 00:28:02,348 Animals, plants, and of course humans. 653 00:28:05,059 --> 00:28:06,685 All right, buckle up guys. 654 00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:08,521 Get ready for hyperspeed. 655 00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:16,320 [Dufrain] How long until we get to this rock and roll show? 656 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,240 Why are we driving so slow? 657 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:21,575 [Julia] I'm too stoned to drive fast. 658 00:28:22,118 --> 00:28:27,248 [Lena] GPS says we're, like, two hours away. 659 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:30,960 Calm your, um, tits. 660 00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:35,756 [tense music] 661 00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:43,514 Mr. Parker, have our men started 662 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:44,723 their super secret mission? 663 00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,267 -Are they on the road yet? -Shut up! 664 00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:48,018 Oh my gosh, shut the door. 665 00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,062 Shut the door, shut the door, shut the door. 666 00:28:52,106 --> 00:28:53,983 [Parker] As far as everyone knows, those two men 667 00:28:54,066 --> 00:28:55,359 didn't even show up for work today. 668 00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,361 And if word gets out to the company, 669 00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,696 it's going to be on you. 670 00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:00,156 And then I'm going to have to send you 671 00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:01,991 on a super secret mission. 672 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:03,367 Understood, sir. 673 00:29:03,451 --> 00:29:07,288 Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket. 674 00:29:13,127 --> 00:29:14,170 Bye. 675 00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:17,590 Keep it on the down low. 676 00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,429 [Scott] Shut up! 677 00:29:23,512 --> 00:29:25,139 [Dawn] Scott, you need to pay attention to stuff like that. 678 00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:26,557 [Scott] I need to pay attention? 679 00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:29,852 I mean, I'm getting you guys there safely. 680 00:29:30,144 --> 00:29:31,520 I can't move mountains, you know? 681 00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:34,398 [Papa] Oh, that's a good one. 682 00:29:34,482 --> 00:29:37,401 Come on, please don't kill me, man. 683 00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:39,528 I've got two wives and a kid at home! 684 00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,114 [Papa] You're soon to have two ex-wives 685 00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:44,033 and a little rat bastard running around. 686 00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:47,328 Hey, you're on the fast track to hell, man. 687 00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:49,872 [muffled] I just wanted to come to the festival, man! 688 00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,790 And rock and roll. 689 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,292 [Papa] You like rock and roll? 690 00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:54,710 Rock and roll, man. 691 00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:55,961 [grunts] 692 00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:57,880 [Papa] Rock and roll. 693 00:29:58,464 --> 00:30:00,549 Hey, I like rock and roll. 694 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,761 Okay, you stay there. 695 00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:05,721 Don't you talk back to me. 696 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:07,681 I'll come to eat ya later. 697 00:30:08,182 --> 00:30:09,225 Rock. 698 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,393 And roll. 699 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:12,520 Rock and roll. 700 00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:20,694 ♪ 701 00:30:20,778 --> 00:30:21,862 Rock and roll. 702 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:24,073 [crack] 703 00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:28,786 [sighs] 704 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:39,380 ♪ 705 00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:40,506 Breaker, breaker. 706 00:30:40,798 --> 00:30:42,675 6-9. 707 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,009 It's Poppa Bear. 708 00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:47,555 Breaker, breaker. 709 00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:48,722 6-9. 710 00:30:49,265 --> 00:30:50,724 This here's Poppa Bear. 711 00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:54,395 I might have let a few undesirables 712 00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:56,230 through the threshold, 713 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:59,567 but Poppa Bear was slicing some meat. 714 00:31:00,234 --> 00:31:01,318 Good news. 715 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:05,406 There's a rock and roll concert near base camp. 716 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:06,991 Even better news. 717 00:31:07,658 --> 00:31:10,202 We're going to be eating for a long fucking time. 718 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,162 So, be ready. 719 00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,289 [laughs] 720 00:31:13,747 --> 00:31:16,083 [mutant] Okay, Poppa. 721 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:18,752 Poppa has great news. [laughs] 722 00:31:18,836 --> 00:31:21,630 We have a concert coming our way. 723 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:24,466 [grunts] More meat on the menu. 724 00:31:25,676 --> 00:31:26,969 Let's carve you up, baby. 725 00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:32,182 Are you juicy enough yet? 726 00:31:32,266 --> 00:31:34,560 This is only the first position of the menu to come. 727 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,353 [victim] Just wait 'til I'm fucking broke free. 728 00:31:36,437 --> 00:31:37,896 -I'll fucking kill you all! -[mutant] Shut up. 729 00:31:38,355 --> 00:31:39,940 [victim 2] If you fucking touch her, I'll fucking kill you. 730 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:41,191 [mutant] Oh, yeah? 731 00:31:41,609 --> 00:31:42,818 I'd eat you right now, 732 00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:44,570 but the ink on your meat 733 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,322 makes the meat taste like shit. 734 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,781 [mutant 2] The catch of the day. 735 00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:51,493 Ugh, look at that painted desert. [laughs] 736 00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:54,872 [screams] 737 00:31:58,167 --> 00:32:00,502 [laughing] 738 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:04,006 Ah, yes! 739 00:32:04,298 --> 00:32:05,507 [laughing] 740 00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,224 All right. Tattoos, huh? 741 00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:15,601 All right. 742 00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:17,102 My mom said I can't have any yet. 743 00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:18,812 You should be-- You guys twins? 744 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,397 -Yep, he's um-- -Oh, good. 745 00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:22,107 There you go. By far, I'd say. 746 00:32:22,399 --> 00:32:23,609 Excuse me. Here we go. 747 00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:25,235 You're good. Wristbands. 748 00:32:26,070 --> 00:32:27,404 -Thank you. -Yep, right this way. 749 00:32:27,488 --> 00:32:28,697 Get the hell out of here. 750 00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:30,157 We've got a lot of people comin' in. 751 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,450 What the hell's the matter with you guys? 752 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,743 -Hey, how are you? -Good. 753 00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,995 -Right. -[metal detector squeaking] 754 00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:38,415 She's good. You old enough to be here? 755 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,250 Take a wristband. Get out of here. 756 00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:41,919 Right this way, please. 757 00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:43,837 -How are you? -[girl] I'm good. How are you? 758 00:32:43,921 --> 00:32:45,631 Good. Real good. Turn around, please. 759 00:32:45,923 --> 00:32:46,757 This isn't about me. 760 00:32:47,049 --> 00:32:48,175 Here we go. Oh. 761 00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:50,302 Here you go. 762 00:32:50,594 --> 00:32:52,054 All right. That way, please. 763 00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:53,972 [announcer] The festival is now open. 764 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,685 No tickets. No entry. 765 00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,603 The show is all sold out. 766 00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:02,606 This is total bullshit. 767 00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:04,608 You mean to tell me they have an event in our own backyard 768 00:33:04,692 --> 00:33:06,151 and you can't even buy tickets at the door? 769 00:33:06,443 --> 00:33:07,778 It doesn't even look sold out. 770 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,864 Yeah, that's right, baby. Yo, fuck the ops, all right? 771 00:33:10,948 --> 00:33:12,241 We're getting in this motherfucker. 772 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,367 Hide your kids. 773 00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:14,493 Hide your fucking wives. 774 00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:16,537 We should be VIPs at this event. 775 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:17,788 We are VIPs, dude. 776 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,289 Very important penises. 777 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:23,001 Chernobog, you're a filthy man. 778 00:33:23,293 --> 00:33:26,296 Y'all, it's just to drum up business and clout, okay? 779 00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:28,340 They're making up fake hype, so the influencers 780 00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:30,300 will tell their little followers that it's worth 781 00:33:30,384 --> 00:33:33,137 going and double their sales for next year. 782 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,263 I got an idea. 783 00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:35,848 I'll distract the ticket-taker, 784 00:33:36,140 --> 00:33:37,391 while you guys all sneak in past him. 785 00:33:37,891 --> 00:33:40,060 What are you going to do? Flash him on the way in? 786 00:33:40,144 --> 00:33:41,562 Just like you did to get free pretzels 787 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,230 at the Renaissance Festival? 788 00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,232 Literally, the king almost ordered 789 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:47,067 the knights "Off with her head." 790 00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:49,903 Watch and see, boys. 791 00:33:50,404 --> 00:33:51,488 She better not fuck this up. 792 00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:53,031 I'll be shutting my eyes, though. 793 00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,408 Whatever, Cherry Boggs, you asshat. 794 00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,118 I'll be holding my nutsack for you, babe. 795 00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:01,248 Fancy seeing you here. [laughs] 796 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:03,584 I seem to have forgotten where I put my ticket. 797 00:34:03,876 --> 00:34:05,586 I always seem to forget something. 798 00:34:06,295 --> 00:34:09,673 Sometimes I even forget to wear my panties. 799 00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:10,924 Wow. 800 00:34:11,008 --> 00:34:12,134 You want me to check it for you? 801 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:14,303 I should have never said that. 802 00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:16,680 I'm just stuck in my old ways. 803 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:18,432 Just a pickle, boy. 804 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:20,517 Where do you think you last seen it? 805 00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:21,643 Your underwear drawer? 806 00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:23,604 Oh. 807 00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:25,439 There it is. 808 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:26,732 Desert concert, see? 809 00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:29,985 Great. Enjoy the show. 810 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:32,196 [sensual music] 811 00:34:32,279 --> 00:34:33,322 [metal detector squeaks] 812 00:34:37,326 --> 00:34:39,495 Look, buddy, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job. 813 00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:41,371 Four dudes just snuck in when you were 814 00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:42,498 hitting on that chick. 815 00:34:42,790 --> 00:34:43,791 Is that so? 816 00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:48,462 You know, in my profession, snitches get stitches. 817 00:34:48,921 --> 00:34:50,964 So I'd watch your back. 818 00:34:51,048 --> 00:34:52,591 You know what? Suit yourself. 819 00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:53,926 I didn't know you were gonna reward criminals 820 00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:55,177 for breaking the law. 821 00:34:57,346 --> 00:34:58,680 Eat my hole. 822 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:01,058 Get out of my face before I call my fucking fixer 823 00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:02,851 and I fuck up your whole weekend. 824 00:35:03,352 --> 00:35:04,686 You know what? Take it easy, Pop. 825 00:35:04,978 --> 00:35:06,230 [Edgar] Hit the fucking road, Jack. 826 00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:11,151 You're telling me you're not going to do a sound check? 827 00:35:12,194 --> 00:35:14,112 Where the Cali Bellends. 828 00:35:14,655 --> 00:35:16,448 We don't need to rehearse. 829 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,033 Really? 830 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,577 Yes, and my guitar is self-tuning. 831 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,705 A self-tuning guitar? 832 00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:26,333 Do you guys even know how to play? 833 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,211 Don't talk to my husband that way. 834 00:35:29,837 --> 00:35:31,672 He's in recovery and he's working 835 00:35:31,964 --> 00:35:34,591 on his image and this could set him back. 836 00:35:35,092 --> 00:35:36,218 He knows how to shred. 837 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:39,847 [screams] 838 00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,684 What have you done to my clients, huh? 839 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:46,103 You're out of your fucking mind! 840 00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:47,604 You hurt their feelings! 841 00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:49,398 [screams] Oh, baby. 842 00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:50,524 Baby, are you okay? 843 00:35:50,607 --> 00:35:51,817 Are you okay? 844 00:35:52,109 --> 00:35:53,068 [squeals] 845 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:55,821 [sniffs, shrieks] 846 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:01,243 They all met... 847 00:36:02,995 --> 00:36:06,415 at a group home, as children. 848 00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:10,168 I adopted them. 849 00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:14,840 I am stage mommy. 850 00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:15,841 Stage mommy? 851 00:36:16,133 --> 00:36:17,676 -Yes! -Group home? 852 00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,595 What does that even mean? 853 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:23,682 [laughs] It means, I'm the fucking boss. 854 00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:25,601 I need you. 855 00:36:26,143 --> 00:36:27,811 You. You. You. Go. 856 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:29,771 Respect me! 857 00:36:30,063 --> 00:36:31,106 [laughs] 858 00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:34,693 Baby, you come, too. 859 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:36,987 You can go. 860 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:38,906 Oh, fuck you. 861 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,825 Fuck me? I fuck you. I fuck you! I fuck you! 862 00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:44,536 [screaming] 863 00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:45,954 More like California Raisins. 864 00:36:46,246 --> 00:36:47,581 Watch out, watch out. 865 00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:50,375 [laughing] 866 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:52,711 Nice shades. [squeals] 867 00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:54,963 Is that a wig? 868 00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,798 [laughs] 869 00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:57,925 Are you coming? 870 00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,801 Come here. 871 00:37:00,427 --> 00:37:02,387 Oh, let's check out his nipples. 872 00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:03,513 Ah! 873 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:05,807 Ah! [laughs] 874 00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:07,601 Oh, hell no. 875 00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:09,603 You use me. Use me! Use me! 876 00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:11,480 Oh, mommy lose it. 877 00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:12,606 Lose it! 878 00:37:12,689 --> 00:37:13,732 Ah! 879 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:18,028 Man, Murphy, these rock star types 880 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,197 have every problem in the book. 881 00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:22,240 -Mm-hmm. -Leaked nudes. 882 00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:24,618 Marital problems. 883 00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:25,994 Substance abuse. 884 00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:28,830 Man, the list goes on and on. 885 00:37:29,122 --> 00:37:30,123 Unbelievable. 886 00:37:30,707 --> 00:37:33,835 Well, you know Don, you have your own vices. 887 00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:35,796 You're addicted to hunting. 888 00:37:36,129 --> 00:37:38,799 You collect those ridiculous wrestling figures. 889 00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:40,092 [Don] Stop right there. 890 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,260 Those figures are an investment. 891 00:37:42,344 --> 00:37:44,763 I buy one to rock and one to stock. 892 00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:50,143 Well, I have this dream that my little cousin comes 893 00:37:50,227 --> 00:37:54,022 into your house with pudding-covered hands, 894 00:37:54,523 --> 00:37:57,234 tears open your figures and starts playing with them. 895 00:37:57,526 --> 00:37:59,111 That ought to ruin the value. 896 00:37:59,403 --> 00:38:00,570 How could you say that 897 00:38:00,862 --> 00:38:03,031 after we've been friends for so many years? 898 00:38:03,657 --> 00:38:05,951 I mean, ever since Steve introduced us 899 00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:08,787 on the school bus back in, what, sixth grade? 900 00:38:09,413 --> 00:38:11,623 No, that's not how it happened at all. 901 00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,835 [clears throat] It was with Paul Nada 902 00:38:15,127 --> 00:38:16,503 in the school lunchroom. 903 00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:17,504 Don't you remember? 904 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:19,089 Oh yeah, I remember. 905 00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:21,425 He came to the lunchroom with nada 906 00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:25,053 in his lunchbox, stole all of our table scraps 907 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:27,556 and made those disgusting apple desserts. 908 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,057 Yeah, I remember. 909 00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:32,561 He stole our rainbow yogurt, cookies, 910 00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:34,813 and barbecue chips just to make that. 911 00:38:35,856 --> 00:38:37,190 -Different time. -[Murphy] Yeah. 912 00:38:37,274 --> 00:38:38,650 You know, I still remember that song. 913 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:39,901 Apple surprise! 914 00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,361 It's so delicious! 915 00:38:41,445 --> 00:38:42,487 Apple surprise! 916 00:38:42,571 --> 00:38:44,156 Who the fuck knows what's in it? 917 00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:46,074 [laughs] That was awesome. 918 00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:53,165 So, Jonathan, you're gonna take care of all our little issues, 919 00:38:53,457 --> 00:38:54,791 I don't have the time. 920 00:38:56,710 --> 00:39:02,924 And where the hell is Dr. Beef Curtains? 921 00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:06,636 Without him here, everybody's gonna ask for refunds. 922 00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:08,472 Right away, madame. 923 00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:12,350 Oh, Jesus fucking Christ almighty. 924 00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:17,314 Alright everybody, get in the motherfucking mosh pit. 925 00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:20,400 Give it up for my main man, Dr. Beef Curtis. 926 00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:23,111 And on the beat, Stormy Weathers. 927 00:39:23,737 --> 00:39:25,447 Dr. Ass doesn't need any 928 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:27,240 professional producers or samples. 929 00:39:27,908 --> 00:39:30,535 All he need is my beatboxing talent. 930 00:39:30,619 --> 00:39:31,703 Check it. 931 00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:33,246 [beat boxing] 932 00:39:35,165 --> 00:39:37,709 Hello world, my name is Dr. Curtis. 933 00:39:39,169 --> 00:39:40,921 My friends call me Dr. Ass. 934 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:42,881 Here's a song for your ass. 935 00:39:43,632 --> 00:39:44,800 Word up. 936 00:39:45,092 --> 00:39:46,259 I-- I just-- I can't do this. 937 00:39:46,343 --> 00:39:47,385 -I just can't do this. -Come on. 938 00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:49,012 Come on. I can't do this. 939 00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:50,847 -Doc, you'll make some money. -I can't do this. 940 00:39:50,931 --> 00:39:52,474 I thought I heard they sold at least 2,000 tickets. 941 00:39:52,557 --> 00:39:54,392 If not, we're not going to make shit as a profit. 942 00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:56,770 What about the 500 t-shirts I printed 943 00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:58,980 in my garage with no ventilation? 944 00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,191 I got so high off the fumes, 945 00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:02,484 [sniffling] 946 00:40:02,776 --> 00:40:05,028 I don't even know where I am right now. 947 00:40:05,362 --> 00:40:06,488 -Nah. -Do you? 948 00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:08,198 Do you? 949 00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:09,658 [quirky beat] 950 00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:11,910 I can't do this. I can't do this. 951 00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:15,956 [urine splashing] 952 00:40:16,540 --> 00:40:19,501 [Bill] Hey, um, Peter? 953 00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:20,836 Yeah? 954 00:40:21,670 --> 00:40:25,966 This has been the, uh, best quest of my life. 955 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,680 [sighing] 956 00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:35,392 And, uh, I don't have many friends, you know. 957 00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:37,394 [gentle classical music] 958 00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:39,771 And questing with you is... 959 00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:43,817 It's... It's really made up for all those... 960 00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:48,488 All those wedgies and melvins over the years. 961 00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:54,161 And if it was to all end now, and I were to die here, 962 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,495 I would... 963 00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:57,747 I would die a happy man. 964 00:40:57,831 --> 00:40:58,957 Bill, do you, um... 965 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,710 Do you have any kids? Are you married? 966 00:41:03,587 --> 00:41:04,963 Bill, uh... 967 00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:06,548 I'm sorry if that was a sore subject. 968 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,675 [splatting sound] 969 00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:09,801 Bill? 970 00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:11,344 Did you get hit by a moon rock? 971 00:41:11,428 --> 00:41:12,762 What the hell was that noise, Bill? 972 00:41:13,555 --> 00:41:14,681 You're coming on to me, 973 00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:16,016 and now you want me to see it. 974 00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:17,517 That's what it is? 975 00:41:17,601 --> 00:41:18,685 You trying to show it to me, Bill? 976 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:19,936 You little wiener? 977 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:21,813 Bill? 978 00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:23,106 Bill, what are you doing? 979 00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:25,358 Bill, your dick is out. 980 00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,068 Your dick is out. 981 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,445 -Put your dick away. -[trickling noise] 982 00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:30,572 What are you doing? 983 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,282 Bill, what is that in your head? 984 00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:35,535 Bill, what did you do? Raid the Halloween shop? 985 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:37,120 Oh, you can do special effects? 986 00:41:37,204 --> 00:41:38,455 Oh, you had a secret talent? 987 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:39,581 This isn't funny, Bill. 988 00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:40,832 This is not funny. 989 00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,459 What are you doing? Put it away! 990 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,544 Yeah, Bill, very, very funny. 991 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:46,546 Get me out here, start saying 992 00:41:46,630 --> 00:41:48,340 you like me, or whatever the hell you're saying. 993 00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:50,675 Now pranking me. 994 00:41:50,759 --> 00:41:52,052 Bill, it's not funny anymore. 995 00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:53,803 You all right? 996 00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,223 Bill, are you all right? 997 00:41:57,224 --> 00:41:58,391 ♪ 998 00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:01,061 [frantic music] 999 00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:08,360 [screaming] 1000 00:42:11,363 --> 00:42:12,781 [mutant 2 grunting] 1001 00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:20,372 [growling] 1002 00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:30,340 [ominous music] 1003 00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:34,302 Parker? 1004 00:42:34,386 --> 00:42:35,428 Parker, can you hear me? 1005 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,889 Parker, Bill, this fucking thing. 1006 00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:40,350 It shoved something in Bill's head, and he's dead. 1007 00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:41,810 He's fucking dead, Parker. Parker! 1008 00:42:42,102 --> 00:42:43,061 Parker, can you hear me? 1009 00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:44,479 -Parker? -Damn! 1010 00:42:48,024 --> 00:42:49,484 Oh, my. Ugh! 1011 00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:52,612 Why did the network want us to cover this event? 1012 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:55,115 This place is a fucking dump. 1013 00:42:55,407 --> 00:42:57,033 There's absolutely no content here. 1014 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,370 You've always got a thorn 1015 00:43:00,662 --> 00:43:02,247 in your side about something. You know, 1016 00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:03,999 you just got to be happy that the check even cleared. 1017 00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:05,583 Look, don't worry, guys. 1018 00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:07,460 Other than the network footage, 1019 00:43:07,544 --> 00:43:08,962 I'll just vlog the whole event, all right? 1020 00:43:09,296 --> 00:43:10,839 I have 10,000 subscribers. 1021 00:43:11,381 --> 00:43:13,300 I'm a real Chancey Billups. 1022 00:43:14,426 --> 00:43:17,220 Isn't that that guy that makes those shopping videos? 1023 00:43:17,637 --> 00:43:20,223 Didn't he make some trashy Bigfoot movie? 1024 00:43:22,017 --> 00:43:24,561 What are you guys doing? 1025 00:43:25,186 --> 00:43:26,980 Standing around like you're 1026 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:29,649 some kind of fucking water cooler. 1027 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:35,989 I paid your network big money 1028 00:43:36,323 --> 00:43:39,576 to cover my entire event, 1029 00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:42,245 from beginning to end, 1030 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:45,582 and the show is about to start. 1031 00:43:45,874 --> 00:43:46,916 Yes, we're about to start, 1032 00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,877 and you're just standing around. 1033 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,005 We paid your network good money. 1034 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:56,593 Jonathan, how many times have I told you 1035 00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:58,553 not to repeat what I say? 1036 00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:01,931 Cretinous bonehead! 1037 00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:04,559 Ma'am, we were just looking for you, 1038 00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,811 and all we have to do is charge the camera. 1039 00:44:06,895 --> 00:44:08,188 No reason to scold us. 1040 00:44:10,815 --> 00:44:12,692 Whatever you say, dearie. 1041 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:17,364 [quirky music] 1042 00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:24,371 [shudder] 1043 00:44:27,916 --> 00:44:29,584 [ominous music] 1044 00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:34,839 -[banging sound] -Oh, fuck! 1045 00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:37,008 Fucking tire, are you kidding? 1046 00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:38,968 Fuck me. 1047 00:44:40,387 --> 00:44:41,971 [sighing] Oh, okay. 1048 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:44,891 All right. 1049 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:48,269 Go fix the fucking tire. 1050 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:49,396 Come on, let's go. 1051 00:44:51,648 --> 00:44:53,024 -All right. -Some guy time? 1052 00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:54,484 -Yeah, guy time. -Nice, bro. 1053 00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:56,903 Okay, cool. Where's the fucking tire, Dustin? 1054 00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,697 Oh, that's what that was for. 1055 00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:01,408 I-- I'm sorry, Scott. 1056 00:45:01,491 --> 00:45:03,118 I had to toss it to make room for the girls' luggage. 1057 00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,577 -It couldn't all fit. -Okay, take a look. 1058 00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:06,037 Do you see any luggage in there? 1059 00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:08,498 Where's the fucking luggage? 1060 00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:09,833 I knew I forgot something. 1061 00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:11,418 Boy, she's gonna be mad. 1062 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,003 Okay, how have you survived this long on this planet? 1063 00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:15,880 Oh, my mom's really helpful. 1064 00:45:18,091 --> 00:45:20,385 -[sigh] Jesus. -Oh, he's good, too. 1065 00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:22,720 Walk away. 1066 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:24,556 -Should I just... -Go! 1067 00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:26,891 Hey, Scott, can we drive on the rims? 1068 00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:28,309 Out of my way. 1069 00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:30,562 Um, no, we can't. 1070 00:45:30,854 --> 00:45:32,313 Uh, it looks like we're gonna be taking 1071 00:45:32,564 --> 00:45:34,983 the shoe leather express, so everyone out of the car. 1072 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:36,609 What, we're walking to the concert? 1073 00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:37,944 I don't have the right shoes for this. 1074 00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:40,488 You fucking idiot, we're going back to the gas station. 1075 00:45:40,572 --> 00:45:42,407 I'm gonna beat the shit out of that moron attendant. 1076 00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:43,908 And...yeah, let's go. 1077 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,452 Start hoofing it. 1078 00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:46,995 -Ugh. -Come on. 1079 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,329 -Shut my door, please. -Okay. 1080 00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:49,831 Thank you. 1081 00:45:54,961 --> 00:45:57,338 Well, the boys blew it. 1082 00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:58,465 Now it's your turn. 1083 00:45:59,132 --> 00:46:01,301 Does that mean you consider me expendable, sir? 1084 00:46:01,718 --> 00:46:02,886 Absolutely not. 1085 00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:05,054 No one else can make my bird soup. 1086 00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:08,516 Okay, your mission, that that tracking device 1087 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:13,104 that Theo is fondling, find the truck, and blow it up. 1088 00:46:13,396 --> 00:46:14,731 That's right. All you need to do 1089 00:46:15,023 --> 00:46:16,816 is you take this device and attach it 1090 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,568 to anything you want gone. 1091 00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:20,945 And believe me, it'll blow it to smithereens. 1092 00:46:21,237 --> 00:46:22,614 So that's the-- that's the bomb. 1093 00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:24,365 This is the control trigger right there. 1094 00:46:24,449 --> 00:46:26,034 Just push that button when you're ready. 1095 00:46:26,534 --> 00:46:28,828 Is this more of your Get Dumb spy catalog equipment? 1096 00:46:28,912 --> 00:46:30,830 Hey, don't worry about that. 1097 00:46:31,581 --> 00:46:33,082 Just make sure there's no survivors. 1098 00:46:33,750 --> 00:46:34,876 Why'd you pick me for this mission? 1099 00:46:35,168 --> 00:46:36,085 Why not Theo? 1100 00:46:36,377 --> 00:46:37,295 Theo, look at him. 1101 00:46:37,587 --> 00:46:38,922 Oh, my God. 1102 00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:41,132 It looks like he modeled turtlenecks in the '70s. 1103 00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:42,926 I blush, sir. 1104 00:46:43,468 --> 00:46:44,886 That's not a compliment. 1105 00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:48,473 You leave at dawn's light. 1106 00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:50,975 If I go tomorrow, I must bring my son along with me. 1107 00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:52,602 It's my week to watch him. 1108 00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:54,979 That's fine, as long as you complete the mission. 1109 00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,606 Can I go? 1110 00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,732 'Cause I-- I love adventures, sir. 1111 00:46:58,066 --> 00:46:59,567 Yeah, you shouldn't be around children. 1112 00:47:00,276 --> 00:47:02,487 All right, go. Let's do this. Team! 1113 00:47:05,156 --> 00:47:06,699 [faint background chatter] 1114 00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:09,744 [quirky music] 1115 00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:13,206 [eerie music] 1116 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,210 All right, you know what? 1117 00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:19,587 This was a really, really bad idea. 1118 00:47:19,879 --> 00:47:22,131 This road leads to nowhere, and you dumb fucks 1119 00:47:22,215 --> 00:47:24,467 were all so sure that this was the way to Dr. Ass. 1120 00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:26,844 Now, we're probably all going to become vulture food. 1121 00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,930 I hope you're all real fucking happy. 1122 00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:32,850 It's better than punching an innocent old man in the face. 1123 00:47:32,934 --> 00:47:34,269 [Dustin] It's kind of peaceful out here. 1124 00:47:36,563 --> 00:47:37,981 Okay, you know what? That's it. 1125 00:47:38,273 --> 00:47:39,357 I've had enough of this shit. 1126 00:47:39,691 --> 00:47:41,234 We've been walking in the same direction 1127 00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:44,195 for another hour and a half, and I see nothing. 1128 00:47:44,487 --> 00:47:45,572 I hear nothing. 1129 00:47:46,114 --> 00:47:47,949 That old fuck Otis back at the gas station 1130 00:47:48,241 --> 00:47:49,993 gave us really bad directions. I think it was on purpose. 1131 00:47:50,285 --> 00:47:51,578 I'm going to go back and kill him. 1132 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,788 And you know what? After that, we're done. 1133 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:55,039 It's not working out. 1134 00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:56,624 I'm going to go back to my main bitch. 1135 00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:58,001 What? 1136 00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,878 You remember that old fart's name, 1137 00:48:00,962 --> 00:48:03,172 but you don't remember my birthday? 1138 00:48:03,256 --> 00:48:06,634 Instead, you get us these lame, cheap tickets, and this? 1139 00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:08,219 This is all your fault. 1140 00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:10,555 You have no one to blame but yourself. 1141 00:48:10,638 --> 00:48:12,890 [scoffing] Wow. 1142 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,518 Well, I certainly know when I'm not needed. 1143 00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:16,978 So you know what? 1144 00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,938 You dipshits can have fun walking in that direction 1145 00:48:19,022 --> 00:48:20,565 until the end of time, for all I care. 1146 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:22,609 But you know what? Big Dick Energy right here? 1147 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,068 He's out. 1148 00:48:24,152 --> 00:48:25,403 So, have a great life. 1149 00:48:25,695 --> 00:48:26,613 Have fun at the show. 1150 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:28,573 Whatever, Scott. Whatever. 1151 00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:30,491 Yeah, why don't you ask your buddy Jesus for directions? 1152 00:48:30,575 --> 00:48:32,368 How about that, Dustin? Take care. 1153 00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:36,039 More like slightly above average Dick Energy. 1154 00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:37,874 Dick. 1155 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:42,378 [creepy electric guitar] 1156 00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:45,965 Get your custom one of one t-shirt designs. 1157 00:48:46,341 --> 00:48:48,760 Screen printed with industry standard ink. 1158 00:48:49,052 --> 00:48:51,304 And the cleverest of slogans. 1159 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:53,598 We have it all. "I'm with stupid." 1160 00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:56,184 "Skate fast, eat ass." 1161 00:48:56,768 --> 00:48:59,103 Put it on a tee for ten dollars only. 1162 00:48:59,646 --> 00:49:02,065 I'm just not sure. Ten bucks is a lot of lettuce. 1163 00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:04,025 Are your t-shirts decent quality? 1164 00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:07,278 Of course. My tees are S-tier quality. 1165 00:49:07,737 --> 00:49:09,989 I ship in blanks from the Dominican Republic. 1166 00:49:10,073 --> 00:49:12,033 Cost me 40 cents wholesale. 1167 00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:14,952 Well, I guess I'll take one size large, 1168 00:49:15,036 --> 00:49:17,205 "I'm with stupid," and a selfie on a shirt. 1169 00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:19,290 How should I get my photo to you to print it? 1170 00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,500 Oh, no problem. 1171 00:49:20,792 --> 00:49:22,168 Just hand over your phone to me 1172 00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:24,087 and come up at the end of the day 1173 00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:25,963 to pick up your new favorite tee. 1174 00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:28,549 Oh, I can't pass up on this opportunity. 1175 00:49:32,970 --> 00:49:35,223 ♪ 1176 00:49:44,023 --> 00:49:45,525 Now listen, little lady. 1177 00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:47,485 I'm not gonna give you another warning. 1178 00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:49,070 Stop fidgeting in your seat. 1179 00:49:49,362 --> 00:49:50,655 I need you to be completely still 1180 00:49:50,947 --> 00:49:52,198 to get the proportions correct. 1181 00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,200 Sorry. I had too much candy for breakfast. 1182 00:49:54,742 --> 00:49:58,287 Again, this festival has, like, no healthy options. 1183 00:49:58,371 --> 00:49:59,414 That's not my fault. 1184 00:49:59,497 --> 00:50:00,998 I start every day with 1185 00:50:01,290 --> 00:50:03,710 a healthy wartime breakfast of unsweetened grapefruit 1186 00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:05,169 and a tall black coffee. 1187 00:50:05,753 --> 00:50:08,214 It does the body and the bowels good, if you know what I mean. 1188 00:50:08,506 --> 00:50:10,591 Ew. That sounds like prison food. 1189 00:50:11,217 --> 00:50:12,719 And honestly, that also sounds like 1190 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:14,887 a better way to lose your bowels. 1191 00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:17,682 Step right up. Isn't it a beautiful sight? 1192 00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:20,393 Just like my mini Zen garden at my home, 1193 00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:23,146 or my perfectly pruned bonsai trees. 1194 00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:24,814 Check out all my colorful sands. 1195 00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:27,525 Did you know? 1196 00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:29,485 Sand has been in existence since the dawn of time. 1197 00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:32,280 You working hard or hardly working? 1198 00:50:32,655 --> 00:50:34,157 It's just you, balloon man. 1199 00:50:34,991 --> 00:50:36,325 I can say the same to you. 1200 00:50:36,743 --> 00:50:38,619 You still huffing on those balloons for your breaks? 1201 00:50:38,995 --> 00:50:40,204 No, I quit that days ago. 1202 00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:42,373 Is your wife still bone-dust dry in your wacky sand, 1203 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:43,833 or did she finally run out? 1204 00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:46,919 Keep your voice down. Feds could be watching. 1205 00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:48,755 I don't want to have to change my identities again. 1206 00:50:49,046 --> 00:50:50,298 [upbeat rock music] 1207 00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:52,675 So. All right, Tex. 1208 00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:54,343 What do you want me to paint on your face? 1209 00:50:54,427 --> 00:50:56,053 Do you want one of these stencils? 1210 00:50:56,137 --> 00:50:59,140 Do you want a shape like a circle, square, a star? 1211 00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:00,850 Star is my favorite. 1212 00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:02,977 I guess if I had to choose one, I'd pick a square. 1213 00:51:03,436 --> 00:51:05,021 From my years as a square dancing champion, 1214 00:51:05,313 --> 00:51:06,814 back in my salad days. 1215 00:51:08,524 --> 00:51:09,650 Okay. 1216 00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:11,277 Alright, country guy. 1217 00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:12,528 I knew you were green acres. 1218 00:51:14,989 --> 00:51:16,282 [loud rock music] 1219 00:51:19,202 --> 00:51:21,037 Finally! 1220 00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,290 Sweet freedom! 1221 00:51:24,624 --> 00:51:26,793 I need to stretch my legs like nobody's business. 1222 00:51:29,212 --> 00:51:31,297 Yeah, I've got a charley horse 1223 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,925 from my knees straight up to my gooch. 1224 00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:36,511 I hope I don't have testicular torsion 1225 00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:37,887 from sitting so long. 1226 00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:40,973 Uh, ladies. 1227 00:51:41,057 --> 00:51:42,099 A little help over here. 1228 00:51:43,518 --> 00:51:45,394 Sometimes my inner thigh 1229 00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:49,065 doesn't keep up with my gluteal group. 1230 00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:50,233 Who might you be? 1231 00:51:50,316 --> 00:51:52,527 I'm Norman. I'm a rock star. 1232 00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:54,278 Lead singer of The Cali Bellends. 1233 00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,408 Isn't Bellends another word for... 1234 00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,577 Well hey, how about you two join us. 1235 00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:04,914 You know, in my band's trailer, 1236 00:52:05,665 --> 00:52:07,667 I just picked up this other lot lizard. 1237 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:10,419 You know, but the more the merrier. 1238 00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:12,421 What the fuck is a lot lizard? 1239 00:52:12,755 --> 00:52:14,549 The only reason why I agreed to hang out 1240 00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:18,594 with you and your old ass band is for the drugs. 1241 00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:24,267 How hard do you party? 1242 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:28,271 Not as hard as back in the '80s, but we party pretty damn hard. 1243 00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:30,565 No, she's talking about party favors, man. 1244 00:52:31,232 --> 00:52:32,817 Oh, we got that covered. 1245 00:52:33,109 --> 00:52:38,614 We've got streamers and birthday cake and goodie bags. 1246 00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:39,866 You name it. 1247 00:52:43,703 --> 00:52:45,329 [Peter] You know, I thought this was going to be 1248 00:52:45,413 --> 00:52:46,497 an easy, fun quest. 1249 00:52:46,789 --> 00:52:48,416 Not some whole big thing like this. 1250 00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:49,542 I'm not a quest type. 1251 00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:01,971 It's that fucking Sackhead guy. 1252 00:53:02,263 --> 00:53:04,473 That stupid Sackhead killed my best friend. 1253 00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:06,559 Then, he tried to get me. You know what I did? 1254 00:53:06,642 --> 00:53:08,436 I threw food in his fucking face. 1255 00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:11,314 Sackhead. I-- I thought it must have been some real ug-mug 1256 00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:12,690 putting something on his head like that. 1257 00:53:12,982 --> 00:53:14,275 You know, I don't-- I don't look that great, 1258 00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:16,235 but I don't-- I don't put a sack on my head. 1259 00:53:16,319 --> 00:53:18,237 So, this guy's killing people because he's an ugly fuck. 1260 00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:20,948 Follow the dot. Follow the dot. 1261 00:53:21,032 --> 00:53:22,700 I don't know where the fucking dot's going. 1262 00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,328 Is it going this way? 1263 00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,163 Or is it going this way? I just see a dot. 1264 00:53:27,246 --> 00:53:28,998 I don't know which way the dot goes. 1265 00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:32,460 I see a dot like this, but it could be going any fucking way. 1266 00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:34,378 So, this doesn't-- shouldn't mean anything. 1267 00:53:34,462 --> 00:53:35,546 -It's just a fuck-- -[rustling] 1268 00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:37,506 The fuck is that, a tumbleweed? 1269 00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:39,425 Tumbleweed's stuck to the fucking ground. 1270 00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:43,179 The fuck? I thought these things blew away. 1271 00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:45,723 These aren't going anywhere. Tumbleweeds, my ass. 1272 00:53:48,059 --> 00:53:51,604 Hey, Star, easy on the hair system. 1273 00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:54,982 But it just feels so fake. 1274 00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:58,277 I can't believe we're in a real band's trailer. 1275 00:53:58,361 --> 00:53:59,904 Huge W for us. 1276 00:54:00,363 --> 00:54:01,781 Yeah, but where's Dawn and everyone else? 1277 00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:03,407 No one's texted me back. 1278 00:54:04,659 --> 00:54:06,077 Don't worry your pretty little heads. 1279 00:54:06,369 --> 00:54:09,956 Kids don't check their phones these days. 1280 00:54:10,039 --> 00:54:13,876 Kids? Do you kids need some help with your homework? 1281 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,670 I'm quite the math wizard. 1282 00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:18,547 Ah! Kids! There's that word again! 1283 00:54:18,631 --> 00:54:19,924 I'm a man! 1284 00:54:20,007 --> 00:54:22,343 ♪ Does it make you feel black ♪ 1285 00:54:24,261 --> 00:54:29,058 ♪ Does it make you feel grey ♪ 1286 00:54:29,350 --> 00:54:30,893 Okay, there's a band in here. 1287 00:54:30,977 --> 00:54:32,520 This is what people want to see. 1288 00:54:34,814 --> 00:54:37,566 Welcome! Come on in. Don't mind the smell. 1289 00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:40,736 We haven't been near a washing machine in quite some time. 1290 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:43,948 And ignore the rubbish and the newspapers piling up. 1291 00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:47,201 -We have a pet rabbit. -Oh, nice. 1292 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:49,578 Can we just sit anywhere? 1293 00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:53,791 Wherever you like. You know, we love the media. 1294 00:54:55,543 --> 00:54:56,836 Perfect. 1295 00:54:57,378 --> 00:54:58,587 Don't fuck this up. 1296 00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:06,554 ♪ Come to me now ♪ 1297 00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:10,141 ♪ No explanation ♪ 1298 00:55:10,224 --> 00:55:12,309 Can you believe Scott left us? 1299 00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:14,186 It was my birthday weekend 1300 00:55:14,270 --> 00:55:16,272 and he left me in the middle of the desert? 1301 00:55:19,275 --> 00:55:21,652 My parents were right. He was just using me. 1302 00:55:21,944 --> 00:55:23,529 Just forget Scott. 1303 00:55:23,612 --> 00:55:25,573 Let's just try to focus on getting to this concert. 1304 00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,034 Guys, check out this old ghost town. 1305 00:55:28,117 --> 00:55:30,077 We must be close to civilization. 1306 00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,621 Stupid Scott. He left too soon. 1307 00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:34,040 [farting] 1308 00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:35,791 Excuse me. 1309 00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:38,544 What? 1310 00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:45,259 Dustin? Where the hell did you go? 1311 00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:47,720 Oh, my God, if you're playing hide and seek right now, 1312 00:55:47,803 --> 00:55:50,014 this isn't the time. 1313 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,724 I'm scared. 1314 00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,517 -[groaning] -I hope he's okay! 1315 00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:07,323 [phone ringing] 1316 00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:11,869 Hello? 1317 00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:14,413 -[Dr. Low] Dustin. -Where am I? 1318 00:56:14,497 --> 00:56:16,123 [Dr. Low] I'm so ashamed of you. 1319 00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:18,459 You didn't show up for a therapy session again. 1320 00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:21,712 You pull this one more time and I'm no longer your doctor. 1321 00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:24,340 Dates and schedules are all part of being an adult. 1322 00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,262 Hey, hello Dustin. 1323 00:56:30,346 --> 00:56:32,473 Any response? Hey, what's going on? 1324 00:56:32,556 --> 00:56:35,518 Hey, are you my doctor? 1325 00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:38,979 [mutant 1] Yes. Time for surgery. 1326 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:46,737 Oh no. Doctor, you're inside me. 1327 00:56:47,822 --> 00:56:51,742 Wait. That's what-- that's what she said. 1328 00:56:55,955 --> 00:56:58,666 [Dr. Low] Hey, hello Dustin. Any response? 1329 00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:01,585 Hey, what's going on? Are you avoiding me Dustin? 1330 00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:04,547 One more of these Dustin, I'm gonna drop you as a client. 1331 00:57:07,967 --> 00:57:10,136 Fucking stupid bitch back there. 1332 00:57:10,678 --> 00:57:13,430 I don't need them. They do need me though. 1333 00:57:14,557 --> 00:57:16,350 What are you going to do? 1334 00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,436 Where the fuck am I? 1335 00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:22,356 [fake female voice] Hey, baby. 1336 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:27,820 Do you want to come in my bush? 1337 00:57:28,112 --> 00:57:30,614 [Jason] What the fuck? Who the fuck is this? 1338 00:57:30,906 --> 00:57:32,074 [fake female voice] I got my limbs spread 1339 00:57:32,366 --> 00:57:34,618 wide open for you. 1340 00:57:34,910 --> 00:57:37,788 If it's fucking Dustin, I will fucking murder you. 1341 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,331 [fake female voice] Why don't you come over 1342 00:57:39,415 --> 00:57:41,208 and show me what you got? 1343 00:57:41,292 --> 00:57:42,710 Where are you? 1344 00:57:43,002 --> 00:57:44,712 [fake female voice] Just come follow my voice. 1345 00:57:45,713 --> 00:57:48,716 I got a nice, sweet surprise for you. 1346 00:57:49,008 --> 00:57:50,009 [Scott] All right. 1347 00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:53,721 [fake female voice] Let's get that tea bag 1348 00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:55,472 in some hot water, baby. 1349 00:57:55,556 --> 00:57:56,891 Right out here? 1350 00:57:57,183 --> 00:57:58,601 [fake female voice] Right here. 1351 00:57:58,684 --> 00:58:00,394 -Let's see what you got. -[zipper unzipping] 1352 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:01,604 Fuck it. 1353 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:05,733 All right. This is an interesting night. 1354 00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:11,280 -[groaning] -[mutant 2] Ooh, this is tasty. 1355 00:58:11,572 --> 00:58:14,200 -[groaning] -[slurping] 1356 00:58:16,327 --> 00:58:17,786 -[squishing] -Oh, hey. Careful. 1357 00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:19,205 Come on, careful, careful. 1358 00:58:19,455 --> 00:58:21,457 -[growling] -Hey, take it easy. Fuck! 1359 00:58:22,124 --> 00:58:23,751 [Jason screaming] 1360 00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:38,098 [scream echoing] 1361 00:58:40,476 --> 00:58:41,644 What was that? 1362 00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:43,729 I don't know. 1363 00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:45,231 Come on, let's go inside. 1364 00:58:48,734 --> 00:58:50,110 I'm pretty sure that was Scott. 1365 00:58:50,402 --> 00:58:51,904 It sounded like he was in pain. 1366 00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:54,281 Yeah, but we're obviously not alone. 1367 00:58:54,365 --> 00:58:56,450 So, first Dustin goes missing, now Scott? 1368 00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:58,535 We just need to hide out here until morning. 1369 00:58:59,495 --> 00:59:01,914 What if this is one of Scott's elaborate pranks? 1370 00:59:01,997 --> 00:59:03,290 God, what if it's not? 1371 00:59:03,374 --> 00:59:05,167 We'd be in serious fucking danger. 1372 00:59:05,251 --> 00:59:07,503 Either way, I'm glad we have each other. 1373 00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:09,129 Imagine being out here alone. 1374 00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:20,516 [mutant 1] Where'd those bitches go? 1375 00:59:20,599 --> 00:59:22,309 We got the last two dicks. 1376 00:59:22,393 --> 00:59:24,728 I can smell the other two queefing in the desert. 1377 00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:27,648 [mutant 3] I can't wait to eat them. 1378 00:59:28,232 --> 00:59:32,194 [mutant 2] No. Poppa said we must keep the girls alive. 1379 00:59:40,619 --> 00:59:43,330 Woo! [screaming] 1380 00:59:43,414 --> 00:59:45,874 Hey, stage mommy, over here. 1381 00:59:46,166 --> 00:59:47,376 I got something for you. 1382 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:49,086 [June] Don't talk to her like that. 1383 00:59:49,378 --> 00:59:51,422 That's disrespectful. Stop it. 1384 00:59:51,505 --> 00:59:54,466 -[Lucy] Oh! A whole dollar! -Chaney, stop it. 1385 00:59:54,550 --> 00:59:55,592 Right now! 1386 00:59:56,260 --> 00:59:57,761 -Stop it. -So rude. 1387 00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:01,390 Can I get a slap next? 1388 01:00:01,473 --> 01:00:02,808 [June] Oh, I've had enough of you. 1389 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:04,935 Oh, my fucking God. 1390 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:07,479 This is gold. 1391 01:00:07,563 --> 01:00:08,772 -[growling] -[Lucy shouting] 1392 01:00:08,856 --> 01:00:10,858 Keep filming, come on. 1393 01:00:11,150 --> 01:00:13,527 Hey, Meg. I have one request. 1394 01:00:13,819 --> 01:00:16,780 You have to be careful. You've got all my children. 1395 01:00:17,406 --> 01:00:19,575 You have to do whatever you can 1396 01:00:19,867 --> 01:00:23,120 to put them all in a beautiful, positive 1397 01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,830 beautiful light. 1398 01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,249 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. 1399 01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:29,960 We're gonna make everyone look great. 1400 01:00:30,252 --> 01:00:31,503 -Mommy. -What? 1401 01:00:31,587 --> 01:00:32,880 Might I please have some more drugs? 1402 01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:34,214 [Lucy] Move yourself. 1403 01:00:34,506 --> 01:00:35,591 Can I please have some more drugs, Mommy? 1404 01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:36,925 Watch your head, Mommy. 1405 01:00:37,009 --> 01:00:39,553 -[Lucy scatting] -Watch your head, Mommy. 1406 01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:42,389 [Lucy] They're laughing. This bitch is laughing. 1407 01:00:42,473 --> 01:00:44,767 [June] I'm laughing 'cause you're a joke. 1408 01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:56,695 Calling all aliens, Martians, 1409 01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:59,865 and Anunnaki humanoids from Planet X. 1410 01:01:00,991 --> 01:01:03,243 Show yourself. 1411 01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:06,538 Come to me and use my body as a vessel 1412 01:01:06,622 --> 01:01:08,415 for your ancient teachings. 1413 01:01:08,499 --> 01:01:10,751 Speak through me. 1414 01:01:13,170 --> 01:01:15,255 [recorded rifle shot playing] 1415 01:01:17,424 --> 01:01:20,386 Y'all out here looking for the same thing I'm looking for? 1416 01:01:21,136 --> 01:01:23,430 If it's big, hairy and smells of ass, 1417 01:01:23,514 --> 01:01:25,682 then we're on the same page. 1418 01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:27,559 My followers, 1419 01:01:27,643 --> 01:01:29,520 it appears that an alien being 1420 01:01:29,812 --> 01:01:33,399 has taken control over this man's body and soul. 1421 01:01:34,858 --> 01:01:36,527 Uh, no. 1422 01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:39,571 Oh, my precious star child, 1423 01:01:39,655 --> 01:01:43,951 you bear proof that mind control is real. 1424 01:01:44,243 --> 01:01:46,120 That sounds like trepanation. 1425 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:49,164 You know, the ancient art of drilling a hole 1426 01:01:49,248 --> 01:01:52,584 through your skull so that it can awaken the third eye. 1427 01:01:52,876 --> 01:01:55,879 I saw that in a movie once about a mathematician who... 1428 01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:57,673 who loves to eat pie. 1429 01:01:57,965 --> 01:02:02,803 Pies? I'm personally impartial to old fashioned cherry pie. 1430 01:02:03,095 --> 01:02:04,888 But I've tried Key Lime pie 1431 01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:07,391 when I was in the Keys a few years back. 1432 01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:10,102 Quite frankly, the most best pie ever. 1433 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:12,813 Rhubarb. Rhubarb pie is where it's at. 1434 01:02:13,105 --> 01:02:15,482 People, people, people. 1435 01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:17,526 Quit thinking with your stomachs 1436 01:02:17,609 --> 01:02:19,570 and get your heads back in the game. 1437 01:02:19,862 --> 01:02:23,615 This is an alien hunting and information gathering event, 1438 01:02:23,699 --> 01:02:25,868 not a damn bake-off. 1439 01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:29,455 Is there anybody else who wishes to join us tonight? 1440 01:02:30,414 --> 01:02:36,420 [chanting] 1441 01:02:42,885 --> 01:02:45,262 [recorded rifle shots playing] 1442 01:02:50,267 --> 01:02:54,521 [chanting continues] 1443 01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:04,531 Followers, we have visitors. 1444 01:03:07,534 --> 01:03:11,121 -[mutants growling] -And they're ugly. 1445 01:03:11,205 --> 01:03:13,165 -And they smell bad. -[screaming] 1446 01:03:15,584 --> 01:03:16,752 And they're mean! 1447 01:03:17,044 --> 01:03:19,254 -[slashing and squishing] -[screaming] 1448 01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:33,352 [gentle acoustic instrumental] 1449 01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,646 Junior, can you help me out just this once? 1450 01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:39,107 Please stop unloading everything I just put in the vehicle. 1451 01:03:39,399 --> 01:03:41,109 Can you help me out just this once? 1452 01:03:43,487 --> 01:03:44,696 Do you want to have a frickin' black eye? 1453 01:03:44,988 --> 01:03:45,906 Cut it out! 1454 01:03:46,448 --> 01:03:47,783 This is very important to my boss. 1455 01:03:48,075 --> 01:03:49,535 If I fail, I could get fired! 1456 01:03:50,827 --> 01:03:53,163 Fuck you, Mom. You're a motherfucker. 1457 01:03:53,455 --> 01:03:54,957 You could say I'm a rebel. 1458 01:03:55,249 --> 01:03:57,167 You could say I'm bad to the bone. 1459 01:03:57,459 --> 01:03:59,002 Get in the car. Get in the car! 1460 01:03:59,294 --> 01:04:02,089 Put me down you fucking bitch! 1461 01:04:02,381 --> 01:04:04,216 Put me down, you bitch! 1462 01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:05,634 [mother] Get in there. Get in there right now. 1463 01:04:05,926 --> 01:04:07,344 -[Junior] Fuck you! -[mother] Get in there.. 1464 01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:08,929 Get in there before I shut the door on you. 1465 01:04:09,012 --> 01:04:10,389 -Fuck you! -[mother] Get in there. 1466 01:04:16,687 --> 01:04:18,063 Junior. 1467 01:04:18,146 --> 01:04:22,526 ♪ 1468 01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:30,158 [engine rumbling] 1469 01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:31,910 Help, help! 1470 01:04:31,994 --> 01:04:35,205 This bitch is kidnapping me! Help! 1471 01:04:35,289 --> 01:04:38,542 Help! Help! Help! 1472 01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:53,849 Thanks a lot. Enjoy the show. 1473 01:04:54,141 --> 01:04:55,100 Check in over there. 1474 01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:57,227 I gotta scan it. Nice shirt. 1475 01:04:57,311 --> 01:04:59,021 Oh, I don't know. Someone just threw it at me. 1476 01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:00,105 I don't need your life story, pal. 1477 01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:01,732 Just getting you scanned in. 1478 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,444 Good. Fuck off. 1479 01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:09,573 Wow. Look at this fucking beauty. 1480 01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:11,283 Looks right up your alley. 1481 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:13,619 No, don't fuck with me, I'll fuck you up. 1482 01:05:18,624 --> 01:05:19,958 Bot in the mood. 1483 01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,461 Greetings and salutations, young man. 1484 01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:25,380 That's my ticket for this fine establishment. 1485 01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:27,841 Oh, I'm so glad you made it here safely. 1486 01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,053 But you know this is a rock concert, 1487 01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,889 not the 1964 World's Fair. 1488 01:05:38,143 --> 01:05:41,438 Just for that comment, you don't get any cookies. 1489 01:05:41,730 --> 01:05:43,357 [snorting laugh] 1490 01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,233 And you don't flip your lid, 1491 01:05:45,317 --> 01:05:47,444 because I really don't want one of your cookies. 1492 01:05:49,196 --> 01:05:51,448 [woman] That man is all show and no go. 1493 01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,116 What a boob. 1494 01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:54,951 [detector whirring] 1495 01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:57,788 Edgar, this fucking thing doesn't work. 1496 01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,998 [woman laughing] 1497 01:06:00,082 --> 01:06:05,754 ♪ 1498 01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:08,173 Okay, so far we have filmed inside 1499 01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:11,218 some trashy rock band trailer. We have no footage. 1500 01:06:11,301 --> 01:06:12,552 Nothing. 1501 01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:14,096 I hope today goes better. 1502 01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:16,556 Guys, I don't really like it in here. 1503 01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:18,016 It's kind of creepy. 1504 01:06:18,100 --> 01:06:19,351 I don't know what you're talking about. 1505 01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:20,894 That was a great band interview. 1506 01:06:21,186 --> 01:06:22,938 Dude, I love their hit song, "Berries and Cream". 1507 01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:28,110 -Hi, guys. -Ah! 1508 01:06:28,735 --> 01:06:30,862 -Fuck! -I'm Nathan with the Fun Police. 1509 01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:32,781 Why do you look so down? 1510 01:06:33,281 --> 01:06:34,700 Well, um, Nathan, 1511 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,576 first of all, you scared the shit out of us. 1512 01:06:36,868 --> 01:06:38,412 And second, our network 1513 01:06:38,704 --> 01:06:40,956 is making us cover this shitty event. 1514 01:06:41,248 --> 01:06:43,500 So, sorry that we are not very happy right now. 1515 01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:45,877 You know what? I can help with that. 1516 01:06:46,378 --> 01:06:50,132 I've entertained thousands, from eight to 80. 1517 01:06:50,215 --> 01:06:53,719 I started off at a pizza parlor in Florida back in the '90s. 1518 01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:56,263 Um, Fun Police, is it? 1519 01:06:56,346 --> 01:06:57,973 I'm sure your life story 1520 01:06:58,265 --> 01:06:59,850 is not going to make me any happier. 1521 01:07:00,142 --> 01:07:01,226 Sounds kind of sad. 1522 01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:03,937 And now I'm getting kind of a headache. 1523 01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,647 Could you just... go? 1524 01:07:05,939 --> 01:07:12,571 ♪ 1525 01:07:12,863 --> 01:07:13,947 Pssht. 1526 01:07:14,239 --> 01:07:16,074 [music fades] 1527 01:07:17,743 --> 01:07:18,994 Thank you. 1528 01:07:20,537 --> 01:07:21,705 Thank you! 1529 01:07:21,997 --> 01:07:24,124 Have a good day! 1530 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:25,542 He was pumping that thing, 1531 01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:26,585 it sounded like a goddamn heartbeat. 1532 01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,253 You know what? That was creepy. 1533 01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:30,213 -Don't be gross. -Weird. 1534 01:07:31,089 --> 01:07:32,340 Creepy as fuck. 1535 01:07:34,885 --> 01:07:36,803 Man, this trailer is weak. 1536 01:07:37,304 --> 01:07:39,014 Protective Soul had two microwaves 1537 01:07:39,306 --> 01:07:40,932 and a full-size refrigerator. 1538 01:07:43,268 --> 01:07:45,437 This trailer doesn't even have a television. 1539 01:07:46,188 --> 01:07:48,273 [dissonant rock music] 1540 01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:50,150 -[door slams] -[Lucy moaning] 1541 01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:51,610 Baby, I wanna... 1542 01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,570 go all the way. All the way in. 1543 01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:56,323 [loud grunting and squealing] 1544 01:07:56,406 --> 01:07:58,533 [grunting continues] 1545 01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:00,952 [loud squeal] 1546 01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:03,622 [gasps] You fucking slut! 1547 01:08:03,914 --> 01:08:06,041 That's my man you're getting freaky with! 1548 01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:09,377 You'll fuck any old aging rock star! 1549 01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:12,798 [groans] This is my eighth time coming 1550 01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:15,926 Listen, you don't understand. 1551 01:08:16,218 --> 01:08:18,595 I get very, very lonely on the road. 1552 01:08:19,387 --> 01:08:21,556 I fuck your husband. 1553 01:08:22,057 --> 01:08:23,308 Keep me company. 1554 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:27,437 I'm really jealous of you! 1555 01:08:27,521 --> 01:08:29,356 You know, when him wearing the wig? 1556 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,066 He's a really stud. 1557 01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:33,693 You motherfucker. You can't even come. 1558 01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:37,405 [laughing] 1559 01:08:37,489 --> 01:08:39,074 [yelping] 1560 01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:42,118 -Stop! Stop it-- -[June] Oh, her? 1561 01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:43,703 She's a fucking whore. 1562 01:08:43,995 --> 01:08:45,205 Whore. Whore. 1563 01:08:45,288 --> 01:08:47,207 [both gasping] 1564 01:08:47,499 --> 01:08:49,209 How could you? How could you? 1565 01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:51,503 [grunting] 1566 01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:54,297 You can't come. 1567 01:08:57,425 --> 01:08:58,927 ♪ I'm sitting on the toilet ♪ 1568 01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:04,224 ♪ Staring at my phone ♪ 1569 01:09:07,352 --> 01:09:09,354 ♪ Don't really have to go ♪ 1570 01:09:12,107 --> 01:09:14,317 ♪ Just wanted some time alone ♪ 1571 01:09:21,116 --> 01:09:22,993 ♪ I'm sitting on the toilet ♪ 1572 01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:28,540 ♪ Staring at my phone ♪ 1573 01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:31,585 What's up, my dudes? 1574 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,795 It is your favorite mosh pit reporter, Meg Otto, 1575 01:09:34,087 --> 01:09:37,424 and we are about to get comfy with the streamer, 1576 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:40,135 rapper, and singer, Dr. Beef Curtis. 1577 01:09:40,427 --> 01:09:42,095 Not yet! Not yet. 1578 01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:44,389 Dr. Asshole is nowhere to be found! 1579 01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:46,558 I'll tell you when to go live. 1580 01:09:46,641 --> 01:09:48,351 Okay, don't touch the lens. What do you mean? 1581 01:09:48,435 --> 01:09:49,728 There's thousands of people watching! 1582 01:09:51,646 --> 01:09:54,983 Oh, my God. I have found the truck. 1583 01:09:57,027 --> 01:09:59,779 [phone ringing] 1584 01:10:00,572 --> 01:10:01,823 Right to voicemail? 1585 01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:03,158 You send me out on a mission, 1586 01:10:03,450 --> 01:10:04,868 a secret mission to find a truck! 1587 01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,369 I found the goddamn truck, Parker! 1588 01:10:06,453 --> 01:10:08,538 Pick up the goddamn phone! You know what? 1589 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:10,457 I'm gonna find someone with another phone, 1590 01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:12,042 and I'm gonna call you, and you're gonna pick it up 1591 01:10:12,334 --> 01:10:13,501 and tell me what the fuck to do! 1592 01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:14,961 I don't get why you're not picking up! 1593 01:10:15,670 --> 01:10:17,005 You know what I'm gonna find.. 1594 01:10:19,591 --> 01:10:21,217 ...Depend on, 1595 01:10:21,301 --> 01:10:22,636 and I'm gonna find someone who has a goddamn phone 1596 01:10:22,928 --> 01:10:24,346 and Parker's gonna talk to my goddamn ass, 1597 01:10:24,429 --> 01:10:25,722 and I'm gonna know what to do! 1598 01:10:26,556 --> 01:10:28,516 Oh, thank God the keys are here! 1599 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:29,643 Oh, thank God! 1600 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:36,608 Wesley, I don't know why you're acting like a hundred years old. 1601 01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:38,902 This is a rock concert, not an opera. 1602 01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:42,072 This was your idea. 1603 01:10:42,364 --> 01:10:44,908 I love Cali Bellends, but... 1604 01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:48,119 I'd really rather be home with a nice, warm cardigan 1605 01:10:48,203 --> 01:10:51,206 curled up in front of the fire, with a good book. 1606 01:10:51,289 --> 01:10:53,750 Really not helping your case any. 1607 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:56,294 Boy, Rico, I sure am glad our relationship 1608 01:10:56,378 --> 01:10:58,004 is still as fiery as the day we met. 1609 01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:01,132 You remember the time the dolphin tried to get busy 1610 01:11:01,216 --> 01:11:04,594 with the trainer at the Ocean World Exhibit? 1611 01:11:04,678 --> 01:11:06,513 Please butt out of our conversation. 1612 01:11:06,805 --> 01:11:09,391 This is between me and my husband here. 1613 01:11:09,808 --> 01:11:12,852 Now Wesley, hurry up and pick out a cookie flavor. 1614 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,106 We got three different flavor cookies out here. 1615 01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:19,401 We got chocolate chip, oatmeal. 1616 01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,320 Uh, I'll have the chocolate chip. 1617 01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:24,155 It seems to be the most mild. 1618 01:11:24,239 --> 01:11:25,949 I don't want to get the runs or anything. 1619 01:11:28,618 --> 01:11:31,204 Well, I'm feeling a little bit adventurous. 1620 01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:34,582 Well, we'll see about that. 1621 01:11:34,666 --> 01:11:38,003 I'm young, I'm dumb, and I'm full of, you know what. 1622 01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:40,588 What's your problem, bud? 1623 01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:45,719 You don't talk to ladies like that, especially not my wife. 1624 01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:47,387 I'll come over this counter, 1625 01:11:47,470 --> 01:11:51,391 slap you in a cross face chicken wing, rip your nut sack. 1626 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:54,060 Whoa, Wesley, I didn't know you had it in ya. 1627 01:11:55,186 --> 01:11:57,772 -The bitch is back, babe. -Ooh. [moaning] 1628 01:11:59,524 --> 01:12:01,359 Yeah, motherfucker, what Wesley said. 1629 01:12:01,443 --> 01:12:05,238 Get me and my girl two Reaper cookies, and make that snappy. 1630 01:12:05,822 --> 01:12:07,824 Cookies. Free cookies. 1631 01:12:07,907 --> 01:12:09,534 Anybody want free cookies? 1632 01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:10,994 They taste really good. 1633 01:12:11,661 --> 01:12:13,038 Free cookies. 1634 01:12:13,538 --> 01:12:15,665 -Free cookies, come on. -Hey, I'll take one. 1635 01:12:17,042 --> 01:12:18,710 -Thanks. -You're welcome. 1636 01:12:19,419 --> 01:12:21,254 [muttering] Stupid fool. 1637 01:12:21,546 --> 01:12:23,423 Cookies. Free cookies. 1638 01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:25,383 Man, I feel kind of famished over here. 1639 01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:27,969 Looks like they're giving out free cookies over there. 1640 01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:31,890 Doctor Ass is too famous for walking in the crowd. 1641 01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:34,476 Go grab me a dozen of those cookies. 1642 01:12:34,934 --> 01:12:37,437 I might have 1.5 in the bank, 1643 01:12:37,729 --> 01:12:39,647 but free is free. You feel me? 1644 01:12:40,774 --> 01:12:42,567 They taste mighty good. 1645 01:12:42,650 --> 01:12:44,819 They'll make you feel good, too. 1646 01:12:44,903 --> 01:12:47,739 Hey, come on. Free cookies. 1647 01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:50,116 Everybody wants a cookie. 1648 01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:56,956 ♪ 1649 01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:15,225 Guess who secured the cookie dough, homies? 1650 01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:18,436 Yeah. 1651 01:13:21,397 --> 01:13:22,982 Mm! These are great. 1652 01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:25,026 Wow! 1653 01:13:26,736 --> 01:13:29,697 Starting to feel a little good though, too. 1654 01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:32,492 Tastes good, but I'm feeling good as well. 1655 01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:36,329 -Feeling like I'm on cloud nine. -I feel it. 1656 01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:39,791 Feeling like I'm floating with the stars up in here. 1657 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,252 I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the same way. 1658 01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:49,175 Hey, hey, hey, I need your tickets. 1659 01:13:49,259 --> 01:13:50,802 Where you guys going? 1660 01:13:51,094 --> 01:13:52,303 Stop. 1661 01:13:52,846 --> 01:13:54,430 Gotta get your tickets. 1662 01:13:54,514 --> 01:14:00,436 ♪ 1663 01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:06,651 ♪ 1664 01:14:37,390 --> 01:14:39,058 [flatulence sound] 1665 01:14:39,142 --> 01:14:47,275 ♪ 1666 01:14:48,067 --> 01:14:49,903 I don't know who you fucking cretins are, 1667 01:14:50,195 --> 01:14:52,530 but you're not getting by me without a fucking ticket. 1668 01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:55,450 And this is not a fucking Halloween festival. 1669 01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:58,077 What is it with these fucking costumes? 1670 01:14:58,369 --> 01:15:00,997 These fucking guys, they're fucking creeping me out, man. 1671 01:15:01,456 --> 01:15:03,124 You're giving me fucking nightmare. 1672 01:15:03,208 --> 01:15:05,126 Oh, you fucking bit-- 1673 01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:08,296 -[cackling] -One in the stink. 1674 01:15:08,963 --> 01:15:10,798 You bit my finger off! 1675 01:15:10,882 --> 01:15:13,635 You fucking dickhead motherfucker. 1676 01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,637 Cocksuckers! 1677 01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:17,138 Fucking piece of shit. 1678 01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:18,556 Hey, hey, he's choking. 1679 01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:20,516 Get that finger out of his asshole. 1680 01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:22,435 If you would have listened to me last time. 1681 01:15:24,437 --> 01:15:25,855 [menacing laughter] 1682 01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:27,941 Hey! What are you doing! 1683 01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,070 Come on. I smell some fresh meat. 1684 01:15:32,362 --> 01:15:34,489 -Let's get out of here. -Now! 1685 01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:41,996 [elegant classical plays] 1686 01:15:48,419 --> 01:15:51,047 Stop that. Junior, what are you doing? 1687 01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:52,632 Cut it out, Junior. 1688 01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:57,345 You are driving me nuts. Junior, cut it out. 1689 01:15:58,012 --> 01:15:59,639 Sit back, Junior. 1690 01:16:10,316 --> 01:16:11,985 What even is this place? 1691 01:16:13,319 --> 01:16:15,071 I think this device is faulty, Junior. 1692 01:16:15,613 --> 01:16:18,283 You need to stay in the car. This is not a place for kids. 1693 01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:22,287 But, madre, over there, there's some kid. 1694 01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,163 And he's probably my age, too. 1695 01:16:24,247 --> 01:16:26,082 So, fuck off! 1696 01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:28,835 You little shit, Junior. Get back here! 1697 01:16:29,127 --> 01:16:30,461 Or you're not going to make it 1698 01:16:30,545 --> 01:16:31,921 to the seventh-grade spring fling. 1699 01:16:32,797 --> 01:16:39,971 ♪ 1700 01:16:55,862 --> 01:16:59,032 [sniffing] 1701 01:17:03,369 --> 01:17:06,247 [cheers and applause] 1702 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:14,964 [crowd chanting] Cali Bell! Cali Bell! 1703 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:21,679 Hey, guys. It's Meg Otto 1704 01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:24,515 with one of the biggest fans of Cali Bellends. 1705 01:17:24,807 --> 01:17:26,976 Wesley, so what do the Bellends mean to you? 1706 01:17:27,060 --> 01:17:29,437 Uh, this band means everything to me. 1707 01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:32,440 I've been spinning their record since I lost my V-card. 1708 01:17:33,066 --> 01:17:35,276 Okay, uh, that is TMI, my dude. 1709 01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:37,028 I'm so glad you got to see them, though. 1710 01:17:37,111 --> 01:17:38,529 Alright, so... 1711 01:17:38,613 --> 01:17:40,239 Yeah, well, that was a few months ago, but... 1712 01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:41,783 Give me that mic! 1713 01:17:42,075 --> 01:17:44,327 No one cares to hear about this weirdo's life story! 1714 01:17:44,994 --> 01:17:46,204 Hey, everybody watching, 1715 01:17:46,496 --> 01:17:49,374 it's Missy, and I like to get busy! 1716 01:17:49,457 --> 01:17:51,417 Whoo! And I want to be your next idol! 1717 01:17:51,959 --> 01:17:55,380 [vocalizing] 1718 01:17:55,463 --> 01:17:56,839 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1719 01:17:57,131 --> 01:17:58,424 I need that microphone back, please. 1720 01:18:03,054 --> 01:18:04,931 -Fuck this. -No, no, where are you going? 1721 01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:06,516 Hey, come on, we need you! 1722 01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:08,434 [sighs] Not this again. 1723 01:18:10,436 --> 01:18:12,772 Missy, like I've always told you, 1724 01:18:13,064 --> 01:18:14,982 your singing voice is grotesque! 1725 01:18:17,819 --> 01:18:18,945 That fucking bitch. 1726 01:18:19,904 --> 01:18:22,907 One time, one time I can be famous... 1727 01:18:23,866 --> 01:18:27,578 ...on MTV, talking about my favorite band, a band I love. 1728 01:18:29,205 --> 01:18:31,999 If she wasn't a woman, I'd have knocked her the fuck out. 1729 01:18:32,083 --> 01:18:33,167 God! 1730 01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:38,506 [ominous music] 1731 01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:40,049 What the fuck are you looking at? 1732 01:18:41,676 --> 01:18:45,138 I'll put you in a half-quarter melvin, motherfucker. 1733 01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:53,604 [grunting] 1734 01:18:53,688 --> 01:18:55,523 You starting to piss me off, 1735 01:18:55,815 --> 01:18:58,693 you douchey-looking Colonel Sanders! 1736 01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:00,903 [screaming] Ah! 1737 01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:06,909 [screaming] 1738 01:19:28,639 --> 01:19:29,974 I don't get it. 1739 01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:32,185 Parker sends me on a super-secret mission. 1740 01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:34,604 He ignores my calls. He won't pick up. 1741 01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:36,856 And then some fucking thing kills my very best friend. 1742 01:19:37,148 --> 01:19:39,025 My brand-new best friend, and he kills him! 1743 01:19:39,609 --> 01:19:42,361 So now I guess I'm at some random fucking bullshit concert, 1744 01:19:42,445 --> 01:19:44,113 and I guess I'm gonna be rocking now. 1745 01:19:44,405 --> 01:19:46,908 What the fuck else am I supposed to do except for fucking rock? 1746 01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:48,493 Parker won't pick up the goddamn phone, 1747 01:19:48,784 --> 01:19:50,453 so I'm a fucking rock-and-roll fiend now, 1748 01:19:50,536 --> 01:19:51,579 for fuck's sake! 1749 01:19:53,748 --> 01:19:54,916 Sack tap! 1750 01:19:56,626 --> 01:19:57,793 Sack tap! 1751 01:19:58,294 --> 01:20:00,379 Hey ladies, I'm from the panty police. 1752 01:20:00,671 --> 01:20:03,257 I'm here to collect. Are you holding? 1753 01:20:03,341 --> 01:20:04,926 Sorry, I don't wear panties. 1754 01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:07,803 Oh no, my mom told me not to talk to twats. 1755 01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:11,849 [suspenseful music] 1756 01:20:12,141 --> 01:20:14,185 Hey, ladies, watch this. 1757 01:20:14,268 --> 01:20:15,394 Sack tap! 1758 01:20:16,354 --> 01:20:20,358 Dumb-ass kid. The balls are up here. 1759 01:20:20,858 --> 01:20:23,819 Hey, ladies, head tap! 1760 01:20:27,406 --> 01:20:31,327 -[laughing] -[flesh squelching] 1761 01:20:31,994 --> 01:20:35,873 [woman crying] 1762 01:20:40,419 --> 01:20:43,089 There's so much fighting in the world of rock. 1763 01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:44,924 Can't we all just get along? 1764 01:20:46,509 --> 01:20:48,678 I wish The Peach were here right now. 1765 01:20:48,970 --> 01:20:51,931 He always knew just the right thing to say. 1766 01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:58,521 I always thought ted brings me good luck. 1767 01:20:58,813 --> 01:21:00,439 -[emotional music] -So I made a hundred of them. 1768 01:21:00,731 --> 01:21:03,985 I changed every day, but it did not. 1769 01:21:06,028 --> 01:21:08,990 I want some good life advice 1770 01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:12,493 because the rock-and-roll world just so stressful. 1771 01:21:14,453 --> 01:21:16,455 You know why I'm so sad? 1772 01:21:16,539 --> 01:21:18,124 You know why? 1773 01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:22,503 Because after this tour, 1774 01:21:22,795 --> 01:21:26,716 I retire as their stage mommy. 1775 01:21:27,008 --> 01:21:29,302 But I love them. I love them so much. 1776 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:30,886 [sobs] I love them. 1777 01:21:32,263 --> 01:21:33,973 -That's okay. -It's okay? 1778 01:21:34,265 --> 01:21:36,684 You think it's okay? Huh? 1779 01:21:37,435 --> 01:21:39,145 -Okay. -You'll be all right. 1780 01:21:39,437 --> 01:21:42,440 Okay. Blessing to them. 1781 01:21:42,523 --> 01:21:44,942 I love them. They're my children. 1782 01:21:45,026 --> 01:21:47,778 They're my children. I'm their mommy. 1783 01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:51,365 I'm hungry now. 1784 01:21:52,283 --> 01:21:54,702 Sorry. 1785 01:21:54,785 --> 01:21:57,038 -You think I'm crazy? -No, no, no. 1786 01:21:57,121 --> 01:22:00,416 -No. -No, thank you. 1787 01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:01,834 No, thanks. 1788 01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:05,463 [suspenseful music] 1789 01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:15,222 Hey, stage mommy. Here's your poppa! 1790 01:22:15,306 --> 01:22:17,058 I love sushi and silicon. 1791 01:22:17,141 --> 01:22:19,727 [all screaming] 1792 01:22:22,730 --> 01:22:24,273 Junior, where the fuck are you? 1793 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:26,359 Fucking, fucking kids never fucking listen. 1794 01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:29,862 Junior! Junior, get here right now! 1795 01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:32,740 What the fuck is this shit? 1796 01:22:33,032 --> 01:22:34,909 [eerie music] 1797 01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:40,748 [groaning] 1798 01:22:41,499 --> 01:22:43,376 -Ah! -[glass shatters] 1799 01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:46,170 What the fuck, lady? 1800 01:22:46,253 --> 01:22:48,047 I'm fixing to sue you for everything you've got. 1801 01:22:48,339 --> 01:22:50,966 I'm so sorry. Have you seen Junior? 1802 01:22:51,842 --> 01:22:54,595 Get the fuck off! Fucking asshole. 1803 01:22:54,887 --> 01:22:56,681 [screaming] 1804 01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:06,148 Why'd you do that? 1805 01:23:06,232 --> 01:23:09,151 They're not real, but they're really expensive. 1806 01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:11,987 [screaming] 1807 01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:18,369 Hey, asshole. First of all, you don't have a ticket. 1808 01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:20,162 Second of all, you fucked up her titty. 1809 01:23:20,246 --> 01:23:22,456 I'm gonna fuck you up, shitface. 1810 01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:25,251 Ooh, titty. 1811 01:23:35,469 --> 01:23:38,472 Fuck. I'm fucking done. 1812 01:23:38,556 --> 01:23:42,017 Done. I'm gonna call them, and I'm gonna quit. 1813 01:23:42,101 --> 01:23:44,019 I'm fucking over this. 1814 01:23:47,314 --> 01:23:49,024 [screaming] 1815 01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:51,736 He ate my dick and balls. 1816 01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:53,446 What? 1817 01:23:53,529 --> 01:23:56,615 He ate my dick and balls. 1818 01:23:58,534 --> 01:23:59,910 Help! 1819 01:23:59,994 --> 01:24:01,662 Somebody help! 1820 01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:03,914 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 1821 01:24:03,998 --> 01:24:06,167 [indistinct] I got you, I got you. 1822 01:24:07,460 --> 01:24:10,337 So fucking gross. 1823 01:24:10,421 --> 01:24:12,339 Fuck, fuck. 1824 01:24:13,883 --> 01:24:15,968 [Scott groans] Is it ruined? 1825 01:24:17,428 --> 01:24:19,555 Yeah, it's pretty bad. 1826 01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:23,184 He said, "I ate his dick and balls." 1827 01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:26,604 And goddamn, were they juicy and tasty. 1828 01:24:26,896 --> 01:24:28,063 Is this thing on? 1829 01:24:28,147 --> 01:24:30,524 Hello? Test? Are you hard of hearing? 1830 01:24:30,608 --> 01:24:32,026 You got shit in your ears? 1831 01:24:32,818 --> 01:24:34,195 Let me introduce myself. 1832 01:24:34,445 --> 01:24:37,198 My name is Poppa, and I'm pleased to eat you. 1833 01:24:37,281 --> 01:24:39,158 No, I'm pleased to meet you. 1834 01:24:39,450 --> 01:24:40,785 Oh, fuck, I'm gonna do both. 1835 01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,203 Come here, cunt. 1836 01:24:42,495 --> 01:24:44,747 Choke on that shit, reporter. 1837 01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:46,832 They never made it to prime time. 1838 01:24:47,124 --> 01:24:48,250 Well, here you go. 1839 01:24:48,334 --> 01:24:50,336 [flesh squelching] 1840 01:24:51,629 --> 01:24:52,713 Ah! 1841 01:24:52,797 --> 01:24:56,217 Ooh, that's not gluten-free. 1842 01:24:58,928 --> 01:25:00,429 Mm. Mm. 1843 01:25:01,764 --> 01:25:04,934 Hey, Star, how about you get out there? 1844 01:25:05,226 --> 01:25:07,186 And warm up the crowd, you know. 1845 01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:09,480 What do you think? 1846 01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:12,441 All right, love. 1847 01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:15,569 -[rock music] -[crowd cheering] 1848 01:25:15,861 --> 01:25:17,488 Who's ready to rock? 1849 01:25:18,155 --> 01:25:20,282 Who's ready for the Cali Bellends? 1850 01:25:20,366 --> 01:25:22,576 [cheering] 1851 01:25:50,938 --> 01:25:54,692 Oy, you're the techie here, right? You're the technician? 1852 01:25:54,775 --> 01:25:56,569 -Yeah, that's me. -All right. 1853 01:26:03,158 --> 01:26:04,451 What the fuck is this shit? 1854 01:26:05,661 --> 01:26:07,204 It's a cassette tape. 1855 01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:09,331 What, are you born yesterday? 1856 01:26:09,623 --> 01:26:10,916 Yeah, but I don't even know if 1857 01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:12,501 I can actually play the cassette tape. 1858 01:26:13,252 --> 01:26:15,129 Well, mate, you're gonna have to figure it out. 1859 01:26:15,421 --> 01:26:17,381 You've got one fucking job here. 1860 01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:21,677 We've been lip-syncing since the '80s, all right? 1861 01:26:21,760 --> 01:26:23,012 And nobody's to know. 1862 01:26:23,679 --> 01:26:26,265 Mum's the word. You know? 1863 01:26:26,557 --> 01:26:28,350 Got it? Don't be a wanker. 1864 01:26:28,434 --> 01:26:29,643 You make it work. 1865 01:26:29,935 --> 01:26:31,478 Okay, do I have to rewind this shit? 1866 01:26:33,022 --> 01:26:35,024 Make it work. 1867 01:26:35,316 --> 01:26:37,026 -Got it? -All right. 1868 01:26:37,318 --> 01:26:38,611 -All right? -All right. 1869 01:26:38,903 --> 01:26:41,155 -All right. All right? -All right, I got it. 1870 01:26:41,447 --> 01:26:43,490 -All right? -All right. 1871 01:26:46,660 --> 01:26:52,499 Yeah! Let's hear it for my main squeeze, Star! 1872 01:26:59,298 --> 01:27:00,758 Oh, my. 1873 01:27:01,050 --> 01:27:03,469 Was that great or what? Give it up to Star. 1874 01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,095 Did you guys see that her tits-- 1875 01:27:05,179 --> 01:27:07,181 Oh, sorry, I'm not supposed to say that word. 1876 01:27:07,473 --> 01:27:08,515 I got in trouble last time. 1877 01:27:08,807 --> 01:27:10,351 Oh, but was that great or what? 1878 01:27:10,434 --> 01:27:12,102 You guys are in for a treat. 1879 01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:15,856 This is the 15-year reunion comeback show 1880 01:27:16,148 --> 01:27:18,984 of the Cali Bellends. Are you ready for this? 1881 01:27:19,860 --> 01:27:21,445 All right, put your hands together for the band. 1882 01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,447 Take it away, guy! 1883 01:27:26,951 --> 01:27:29,036 -All right. -Yeah. 1884 01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:34,249 Ready? One, two, three, four! 1885 01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:42,383 [rock music] 1886 01:27:43,425 --> 01:27:46,303 One, two, three. 1887 01:27:46,387 --> 01:27:48,764 [crowd cheering] 1888 01:27:48,847 --> 01:27:53,435 ...three, four, five. 1889 01:27:54,895 --> 01:27:57,731 Let's go! Rock 'n' roll! 1890 01:28:01,819 --> 01:28:04,571 ♪ We come to life after dark ♪ 1891 01:28:05,406 --> 01:28:08,242 ♪ The night is cold so here's a scarf ♪ 1892 01:28:08,534 --> 01:28:11,704 ♪ I hear the whispers in your eyes ♪ 1893 01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:15,249 ♪ The neon signs will tell few lies ♪ 1894 01:28:15,332 --> 01:28:18,669 ♪ City lights, they shine for me ♪ 1895 01:28:18,961 --> 01:28:21,630 ♪ Our hearts are beating loud and free ♪ 1896 01:28:22,423 --> 01:28:25,509 ♪ I am sweating like a small baboon ♪ 1897 01:28:25,592 --> 01:28:29,013 ♪ You know the dawn will come too soon ♪ 1898 01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:32,224 ♪ Do you want to run with me? ♪ 1899 01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:34,935 What the hell is this? 1900 01:28:35,227 --> 01:28:37,104 I don't know. Is that a fucking sock in his pants? 1901 01:28:37,187 --> 01:28:40,315 -Yeah, it looks like it. -Oh, wow. 1902 01:28:40,399 --> 01:28:42,609 Get off the fucking stage! 1903 01:28:45,946 --> 01:28:49,408 ♪ Take my keys and we'll drive, young and alive ♪ 1904 01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:53,412 Go back to the-- the convenience store. 1905 01:28:55,998 --> 01:28:59,710 ♪ The trumpets ring when the angels call ♪ 1906 01:29:00,002 --> 01:29:01,211 ♪ Which is strange ♪ 1907 01:29:01,295 --> 01:29:02,671 You took me to this fucking shit? 1908 01:29:02,963 --> 01:29:06,550 -Well, it was cheap. -Oh, you fucking idiot. 1909 01:29:06,633 --> 01:29:08,635 ♪ Sticky like a [indistinct] in-- ♪ 1910 01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:11,263 Get out of the way, there's a fucking guy-- Look out, asshole! 1911 01:29:11,346 --> 01:29:13,390 There's a fucking guy after me. Help me, help me. 1912 01:29:13,474 --> 01:29:15,392 Help me, help me. Someone help me! 1913 01:29:15,476 --> 01:29:17,019 Guys, help me! Come on! 1914 01:29:17,311 --> 01:29:18,395 Come on, come on! 1915 01:29:18,687 --> 01:29:19,688 Please, someone help me, come on! 1916 01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:21,523 Shit. 1917 01:29:21,815 --> 01:29:23,150 Somebody help me, come on! Help, help, come on! Somebody! 1918 01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:24,359 Somebody, help me, help me! 1919 01:29:25,652 --> 01:29:30,407 ♪ I can smell excitement in your eyes ♪ 1920 01:29:30,491 --> 01:29:33,035 -[screaming] -[flesh squelching] 1921 01:29:33,911 --> 01:29:35,996 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1922 01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:40,501 -Ah! -[crowd screaming] 1923 01:29:46,173 --> 01:29:48,133 [screaming] 1924 01:29:51,178 --> 01:29:53,097 [screaming] 1925 01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:55,599 -Woo! -[crowd cheering] 1926 01:30:00,354 --> 01:30:02,564 [screaming] 1927 01:30:03,107 --> 01:30:04,733 Yeah, yeah. 1928 01:30:08,654 --> 01:30:11,949 [groaning] 1929 01:30:12,032 --> 01:30:14,910 ♪ Go to nursing homes and set them free ♪ 1930 01:30:15,202 --> 01:30:20,374 ♪ We're so young and alive, young and alive ♪ 1931 01:30:20,457 --> 01:30:22,167 You think you got talent? 1932 01:30:22,251 --> 01:30:24,211 ♪ The fire of death is so fresh ♪ 1933 01:30:25,003 --> 01:30:26,421 -[flesh squelching] -Oy! 1934 01:30:26,505 --> 01:30:28,507 I'm Norman the rock star! 1935 01:30:28,799 --> 01:30:31,218 I have a bigger cock than Dick Head. 1936 01:30:31,301 --> 01:30:32,803 Fuck you! 1937 01:30:40,185 --> 01:30:41,645 [screaming] 1938 01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:43,438 VIP? We made it. 1939 01:30:43,522 --> 01:30:45,190 Oh, wow. Cool. 1940 01:30:45,274 --> 01:30:46,525 VIP. 1941 01:30:46,608 --> 01:30:47,651 Hey, a roadie. 1942 01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:57,870 Ooh, VIPs. 1943 01:30:57,953 --> 01:31:00,205 You look like you could use a tampon. 1944 01:31:01,123 --> 01:31:03,876 I don't know about that, but you need to get waxed. 1945 01:31:04,168 --> 01:31:06,587 My ex-girlfriend's pussy looks way better than that. 1946 01:31:07,546 --> 01:31:09,423 That's a good one, Ricky Martin. 1947 01:31:09,506 --> 01:31:12,217 Hey, I guess a foursome's out of the question. 1948 01:31:12,301 --> 01:31:13,760 [all] Fuck, no. 1949 01:31:14,052 --> 01:31:17,181 Ooh, but that's part of the VIP experience. 1950 01:31:19,016 --> 01:31:22,060 [screaming] 1951 01:31:26,607 --> 01:31:29,401 Was that as good for you as it was for me? 1952 01:31:30,152 --> 01:31:31,236 I didn't think so. 1953 01:31:36,366 --> 01:31:38,493 "The Glory Hole". [chuckling] 1954 01:31:44,082 --> 01:31:46,084 Hey, it's occupied, asshole. 1955 01:31:48,921 --> 01:31:50,088 What the fuck? 1956 01:31:50,380 --> 01:31:52,049 Is that a dick on your face? 1957 01:31:54,218 --> 01:31:55,594 Hey, cum dumpster. 1958 01:31:55,677 --> 01:31:57,179 Head for head? 1959 01:31:57,262 --> 01:31:58,305 Oh, shit. 1960 01:31:58,388 --> 01:32:00,140 [screaming] 1961 01:32:00,224 --> 01:32:01,642 Open wide. 1962 01:32:02,851 --> 01:32:04,061 Suck it. Suck it. 1963 01:32:04,353 --> 01:32:05,896 Suck my dick. 1964 01:32:06,188 --> 01:32:09,149 [gargling] 1965 01:32:16,365 --> 01:32:17,407 Oh, shit. 1966 01:32:17,491 --> 01:32:19,117 Watch out, fathead. 1967 01:32:21,954 --> 01:32:22,996 Fuck! 1968 01:32:32,881 --> 01:32:34,299 Oh, fuck you. 1969 01:32:35,467 --> 01:32:36,551 Lick my balls. 1970 01:32:40,138 --> 01:32:42,224 Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. 1971 01:32:46,687 --> 01:32:48,689 [laughing] 1972 01:32:52,109 --> 01:32:53,527 Damn, that concert's getting good. 1973 01:32:55,487 --> 01:32:56,405 What the fuck's that camera doing-- 1974 01:32:56,697 --> 01:33:01,159 [growling] 1975 01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:10,669 [growling] 1976 01:33:12,796 --> 01:33:15,007 Oh, a camera. 1977 01:33:19,928 --> 01:33:21,096 A camera. 1978 01:33:21,346 --> 01:33:23,098 Gonna upload this on my sex channel. 1979 01:33:23,181 --> 01:33:25,225 Don't forget to like and subscribe. 1980 01:33:30,772 --> 01:33:32,107 Oh, shit. 1981 01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:41,908 ♪ 1982 01:33:46,830 --> 01:33:48,540 Need something to throw at me? 1983 01:33:49,458 --> 01:33:51,126 Here you go. 1984 01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:53,211 [screaming] 1985 01:33:56,506 --> 01:34:03,096 Doctor Beef, your whole ever-loving ass is gone, man. 1986 01:34:04,056 --> 01:34:05,474 What? 1987 01:34:05,557 --> 01:34:07,726 A real booty meal? 1988 01:34:08,643 --> 01:34:09,728 Kinky. 1989 01:34:10,020 --> 01:34:11,813 Say it ain't so. 1990 01:34:11,897 --> 01:34:14,107 Not Doctor Ass' moneymaker. 1991 01:34:17,486 --> 01:34:19,654 What the hell is he doing back there? 1992 01:34:20,947 --> 01:34:22,783 I think he's eating your ass. 1993 01:34:22,866 --> 01:34:23,992 What the-- what the hell, 1994 01:34:24,284 --> 01:34:25,452 is he eating my ass? 1995 01:34:26,119 --> 01:34:28,497 Shit, that means I will never twerk again? 1996 01:34:28,789 --> 01:34:32,042 Look, we'll get you some good quality butt pads. 1997 01:34:32,125 --> 01:34:34,252 All the best influencers wear them. 1998 01:34:34,711 --> 01:34:40,759 ♪ 1999 01:34:50,852 --> 01:34:52,104 Maybe she can help us. 2000 01:34:58,235 --> 01:34:59,820 She looks kind of crazy. 2001 01:35:00,779 --> 01:35:02,406 Cookies can help. 2002 01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:09,246 Um, hi. 2003 01:35:09,329 --> 01:35:12,124 We don't need cookies, we need help. 2004 01:35:12,207 --> 01:35:14,459 -We need real help. -I will help you. 2005 01:35:16,962 --> 01:35:20,257 [screaming] 2006 01:35:20,340 --> 01:35:23,051 [mutant laughing] 2007 01:35:24,136 --> 01:35:26,179 [screaming] 2008 01:35:26,471 --> 01:35:28,932 You know what goes good with cookies? 2009 01:35:29,224 --> 01:35:30,684 Milk! [laughing] 2010 01:35:30,976 --> 01:35:34,438 [screaming] 2011 01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:38,608 [growling] 2012 01:35:41,027 --> 01:35:49,411 ♪ 2013 01:35:55,750 --> 01:36:00,338 [mutants cackling] 2014 01:36:04,176 --> 01:36:09,639 [cackling continues] 2015 01:36:09,723 --> 01:36:12,184 Hey, girls, remember me? 2016 01:36:13,059 --> 01:36:16,188 I'm your old pal, Otis Brownstein. 2017 01:36:16,271 --> 01:36:17,898 That's that old fool that gave us 2018 01:36:17,981 --> 01:36:19,941 the bad direction to the gas station. 2019 01:36:20,233 --> 01:36:21,693 Thanks a lot. 2020 01:36:21,985 --> 01:36:24,279 You're friends with these stinking fucking mutants? 2021 01:36:24,362 --> 01:36:25,864 They're my family. 2022 01:36:26,156 --> 01:36:27,949 We don't like the term "mutant". 2023 01:36:28,241 --> 01:36:33,038 We prefer the term genetically-challenged. 2024 01:36:33,330 --> 01:36:34,623 [newscaster] Specifically, the police are also looking for 2025 01:36:34,915 --> 01:36:37,000 the band The Cali Bellends, 2026 01:36:37,083 --> 01:36:39,169 as they seem to have disappeared under suspicious circumstances. 2027 01:36:39,252 --> 01:36:40,795 What are you doing with us? 2028 01:36:41,463 --> 01:36:43,173 Why are we in our underwear? 2029 01:36:43,256 --> 01:36:45,592 Don't worry, your privates are safe. 2030 01:36:46,510 --> 01:36:50,055 We are all cursed in the genital department. 2031 01:36:50,138 --> 01:36:56,102 You see, my family has their organs all in the wrong places. 2032 01:36:56,937 --> 01:37:01,608 They got boobs for heads, dicks for noses, 2033 01:37:01,691 --> 01:37:04,694 and pussies for faces. 2034 01:37:04,986 --> 01:37:08,907 And last but not least, assholes for mouths. 2035 01:37:09,199 --> 01:37:11,201 [sucking, slurping] 2036 01:37:11,284 --> 01:37:16,498 We are all in an empty void. 2037 01:37:17,999 --> 01:37:19,668 [screaming] 2038 01:37:21,962 --> 01:37:24,714 -Nothing there. -[cackling] 2039 01:37:25,006 --> 01:37:26,550 Surprise! 2040 01:37:27,634 --> 01:37:28,760 You see. 2041 01:37:29,594 --> 01:37:34,558 I just wish the love of my life, Muriel, was here for this. 2042 01:37:34,641 --> 01:37:36,643 Muriel organized everything. 2043 01:37:37,644 --> 01:37:40,814 She was killed in the battle this afternoon. 2044 01:37:42,274 --> 01:37:45,110 I'm sorry, Mommy. Party foul. 2045 01:37:45,193 --> 01:37:48,071 My balls were sweaty and they fogged up my goggles. 2046 01:37:48,363 --> 01:37:49,739 I hate when that happens. 2047 01:37:53,535 --> 01:37:54,911 I forgive you. 2048 01:37:56,955 --> 01:37:58,873 But now... 2049 01:37:58,957 --> 01:38:02,586 I have my angel, Dawn. Mwah! 2050 01:38:02,669 --> 01:38:06,881 When I first laid eyes on her at my gas station, 2051 01:38:06,965 --> 01:38:10,510 I know she was more than just food, 2052 01:38:10,594 --> 01:38:14,514 but a partner who could give me the gift of new life. 2053 01:38:15,348 --> 01:38:17,559 Then how do you reproduce? 2054 01:38:17,642 --> 01:38:19,394 Mama! 2055 01:38:19,477 --> 01:38:21,896 Fetch me the dick syringe! 2056 01:38:21,980 --> 01:38:24,983 It's time for me to get pregnant. 2057 01:38:25,066 --> 01:38:27,527 ♪ 2058 01:38:27,819 --> 01:38:30,739 [screaming] 2059 01:38:34,242 --> 01:38:36,119 [cackling] 2060 01:38:37,495 --> 01:38:41,333 ♪ 2061 01:38:42,876 --> 01:38:45,128 -You ready? -[Otis] Yes! 2062 01:38:45,420 --> 01:38:46,504 Fire away. 2063 01:38:46,796 --> 01:38:49,591 [screaming] 2064 01:38:49,674 --> 01:38:52,886 [shouting] 2065 01:38:56,765 --> 01:39:01,353 ♪ 2066 01:39:04,856 --> 01:39:07,901 I-- It's birthing! I'm birthing! 2067 01:39:08,693 --> 01:39:14,240 Ooh, the baby's coming! 2068 01:39:16,493 --> 01:39:20,580 [groaning] 2069 01:39:20,872 --> 01:39:26,086 [mutants cackling] 2070 01:39:28,672 --> 01:39:31,091 [baby crying] 2071 01:39:31,174 --> 01:39:33,593 [screaming] 2072 01:39:33,677 --> 01:39:37,597 His penis is in the right place! 2073 01:39:39,974 --> 01:39:42,811 It worked! It has appeared! 2074 01:39:43,103 --> 01:39:45,563 [baby crying] 2075 01:39:45,855 --> 01:39:48,733 I'm a mommy again! 2076 01:39:49,025 --> 01:39:51,778 [screaming] 2077 01:39:58,243 --> 01:40:03,039 ♪ 2078 01:40:05,625 --> 01:40:07,961 Hey, guys, don't you think the story about the fiends 2079 01:40:08,253 --> 01:40:10,380 would make a great, great movie? 2080 01:40:10,463 --> 01:40:13,508 I mean, I would love to play a monster in it if they make it. 2081 01:40:13,800 --> 01:40:16,761 I always wanted to be a thespian and be in films. 2082 01:40:18,263 --> 01:40:20,974 These outdoor concerts are getting out of control. 2083 01:40:24,436 --> 01:40:27,480 I'm so glad I no longer have to cover these types of events. 2084 01:40:27,564 --> 01:40:30,775 No longer is Alexandra Joner going to talk music. 2085 01:40:31,067 --> 01:40:33,570 I think now I'm going to talk about sports. 2086 01:40:33,862 --> 01:40:36,281 Deformed people at a rock concert, 2087 01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:38,783 committing terrible acts of violence. 2088 01:40:39,075 --> 01:40:43,079 Report after report of missing people are pouring in 2089 01:40:43,371 --> 01:40:47,792 for those that attended the Desert Fiends Fest in Nevada. 2090 01:40:48,084 --> 01:40:52,088 Would you believe my wife wanted to go to that concert? 2091 01:40:52,380 --> 01:40:55,258 I'm so glad I'm cheap with my funds. 2092 01:40:55,341 --> 01:40:58,094 This reporter always loved nature and the wilderness. 2093 01:40:58,178 --> 01:41:00,346 Heck, I would hike every weekend. 2094 01:41:00,430 --> 01:41:03,475 Well, I used to hike every weekend, but you know what? 2095 01:41:03,558 --> 01:41:04,768 Forget that. 2096 01:41:05,059 --> 01:41:08,313 The creatures are true monsters. 2097 01:41:08,396 --> 01:41:11,274 I've been covering this story now for over two weeks, 2098 01:41:11,566 --> 01:41:13,610 and we have yet to find any clues 2099 01:41:13,902 --> 01:41:15,570 as to where the suspects have gone. 2100 01:41:16,112 --> 01:41:18,573 Their next search is gonna be in the mines area. 2101 01:41:19,407 --> 01:41:21,034 Let's hope they have better luck. 2102 01:41:21,326 --> 01:41:23,411 Record sales for The Cali Bellends album 2103 01:41:23,495 --> 01:41:25,205 are going crazy. 2104 01:41:25,288 --> 01:41:27,874 This is the first time that an album over 30 years old 2105 01:41:27,957 --> 01:41:30,251 is charting at the number one spot. 2106 01:41:30,335 --> 01:41:33,254 Oh, wow, you're telling me The Cali Bellends are back? 2107 01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:35,256 I was, like, their biggest fan ever. 2108 01:41:35,340 --> 01:41:37,008 I even drank their short-lived pop. 2109 01:41:37,842 --> 01:41:41,554 Music festival this summer in the Nevada desert. 2110 01:41:41,638 --> 01:41:43,556 I mean, right there, that's-- 2111 01:41:43,848 --> 01:41:46,184 I mean, AI pop-up... 2112 01:41:46,267 --> 01:41:50,104 You know, I mean, the heat index in Nevada, that's-- 2113 01:41:51,189 --> 01:41:52,690 That would be murder. 2114 01:41:52,982 --> 01:41:54,567 Another update on madness at the Desert Fiends Fest 2115 01:41:54,859 --> 01:41:56,277 tonight, at 8:00 p.m. 2116 01:41:56,569 --> 01:41:57,612 I'm sure it's gonna be juicy. 2117 01:41:58,530 --> 01:41:59,864 We've been following this story for weeks. 2118 01:42:00,156 --> 01:42:01,449 It's so insane. 2119 01:42:01,741 --> 01:42:03,368 I can't believe they haven't caught the killers. 2120 01:42:03,451 --> 01:42:05,411 I'm going to head over to the scene myself to cover this. 2121 01:42:07,080 --> 01:42:09,791 Dude, I mean, I really-- 2122 01:42:10,083 --> 01:42:12,627 I really think I want to turn this into a film. Yeah. 2123 01:42:12,919 --> 01:42:15,755 [indistinct] with DJ Beef Curtis' music 2124 01:42:15,839 --> 01:42:18,967 and he stole my shit. 2125 01:42:19,050 --> 01:42:22,011 I'm glad that motherfucker lost his ass. 2126 01:42:22,303 --> 01:42:23,471 Worse than these stale cookies 2127 01:42:23,721 --> 01:42:25,014 I was supposed to sell at that concert. 2128 01:42:26,266 --> 01:42:27,433 I would have been dead for sure. 2129 01:42:29,018 --> 01:42:30,395 I've seen videos of that event. 2130 01:42:30,478 --> 01:42:31,980 Oh, my God, was it cheesy. 2131 01:42:32,272 --> 01:42:34,357 I think they had face painting and sand art. 2132 01:42:34,649 --> 01:42:37,360 What is this, the Towson Town Festival in 1997? 2133 01:42:37,443 --> 01:42:39,112 Oh, my God. 2134 01:42:39,404 --> 01:42:42,407 Wait, why am I trying to get views talking about this crap? 2135 01:42:42,490 --> 01:42:44,033 Have I completely sold out? 2136 01:42:44,325 --> 01:42:45,660 This is Shadow Alley, people. 2137 01:42:45,952 --> 01:42:47,954 We talk about horror movies and silicone masks 2138 01:42:48,037 --> 01:42:49,330 and important things in the world. 2139 01:42:49,414 --> 01:42:50,582 Not this crap. 2140 01:42:50,874 --> 01:42:51,875 Sorry for talking about this crap. 2141 01:42:52,166 --> 01:42:53,668 Let's get back to the good stuff. 2142 01:42:54,377 --> 01:42:56,963 The only good thing is when the girlies lifted the shirts 2143 01:42:57,255 --> 01:42:58,506 and showed their assets. 2144 01:42:58,798 --> 01:43:02,343 Other than that, it only brings out the fiend. 2145 01:43:02,427 --> 01:43:04,846 Now coming in that numerous outdoor festivals 2146 01:43:05,138 --> 01:43:07,140 have decided to cancel due to fears that 2147 01:43:07,432 --> 01:43:09,893 the so-called "Desert Fiends" could attend. 2148 01:43:10,184 --> 01:43:13,563 That concert was a total front. 2149 01:43:13,855 --> 01:43:15,315 Who in their right mind 2150 01:43:15,607 --> 01:43:18,109 would want to see these crap acts perform? 2151 01:43:18,192 --> 01:43:20,737 Well, yeah, I like going to events 2152 01:43:21,029 --> 01:43:23,031 and concerts and the like. 2153 01:43:24,407 --> 01:43:28,494 But I think my days at them are coming to an end, man. 2154 01:43:28,786 --> 01:43:31,331 Why are there so many crappy bands these days? 2155 01:43:31,414 --> 01:43:33,166 I mean, Doctor Ass? 2156 01:43:33,249 --> 01:43:35,043 What the hell is this world coming to? 2157 01:43:36,544 --> 01:43:39,088 Oh, let's put concerts to rest, already. 2158 01:43:39,631 --> 01:43:41,716 I mean, they're always such a nightmare. 2159 01:43:42,675 --> 01:43:44,677 This one time, I went to one... 2160 01:43:44,969 --> 01:43:47,096 I mean, did you guys get a look at the people? 2161 01:43:47,180 --> 01:43:48,723 I mean, what was up with their faces? 2162 01:43:48,806 --> 01:43:50,600 I mean, they're really messed up. 2163 01:43:50,892 --> 01:43:52,435 I mean, that one guy looked like he had 2164 01:43:52,727 --> 01:43:55,521 a "see you next Tuesday" on his face. 2165 01:43:55,605 --> 01:43:58,691 We love the fiends. 2166 01:43:58,983 --> 01:44:00,693 -Yes. -I love the fiends. 2167 01:44:01,194 --> 01:44:02,737 I want them to sign my ass. 2168 01:44:02,820 --> 01:44:04,238 Like, just like this. 2169 01:44:04,322 --> 01:44:06,950 You guys keep doing what you're doing, okay? 2170 01:44:07,033 --> 01:44:08,117 You need any help? 2171 01:44:08,368 --> 01:44:09,702 It looks like they already did. 2172 01:44:09,786 --> 01:44:11,412 -Give me a call, okay? -Look at that. 2173 01:44:12,872 --> 01:44:14,374 I mean, the whole thing 2174 01:44:14,457 --> 01:44:16,376 sounds like one of those bad horror films. 2175 01:44:17,293 --> 01:44:20,797 It's like that guy who makes those Amityville movies. 2176 01:44:21,089 --> 01:44:23,591 Uh, God, who watches that junk? 2177 01:44:24,008 --> 01:44:25,677 I wonder if the fiends will start showing up 2178 01:44:25,969 --> 01:44:27,512 at all the concerts now. 2179 01:44:27,595 --> 01:44:28,888 They must hate music. 2180 01:44:29,681 --> 01:44:33,101 Man, I wish I almost went to that concert. 2181 01:44:34,102 --> 01:44:35,853 Yes, the fiends might have killed me, 2182 01:44:36,145 --> 01:44:39,524 but if they did, I would be famous. 2183 01:44:39,816 --> 01:44:42,568 I hope nothing happens to Meg from the music show. 2184 01:44:42,860 --> 01:44:47,073 I mean, she was my number one crush, and, um... 2185 01:44:47,156 --> 01:44:49,409 TV's just not gonna be the same. 2186 01:44:49,492 --> 01:44:51,786 It's not going to be worth watching without them. 2187 01:44:52,078 --> 01:44:55,373 So there are people with genitals on their faces? 2188 01:44:56,165 --> 01:44:58,668 Ha, nice joke, guys. 2189 01:44:58,751 --> 01:45:00,461 Call me crazy, guys, 2190 01:45:00,545 --> 01:45:03,172 but I want to check out that concert location myself. 2191 01:45:03,256 --> 01:45:05,925 I need to see where this all happened. 2192 01:45:06,009 --> 01:45:08,386 I would love to be chased by a fiend. 2193 01:45:09,053 --> 01:45:10,972 But with the fiends and their murders, 2194 01:45:11,264 --> 01:45:12,640 I feel like I could make videos 2195 01:45:12,932 --> 01:45:15,059 on this subject for the rest of my life. 2196 01:45:15,143 --> 01:45:16,602 Yes! 2197 01:45:16,894 --> 01:45:20,481 I was so ready to finally do my first live show. 2198 01:45:20,565 --> 01:45:22,066 But you know what? 2199 01:45:22,150 --> 01:45:25,153 I'm way too scared the fiends might be there! 2200 01:45:25,236 --> 01:45:27,572 For the first time after a 15-year hiatus, 2201 01:45:27,864 --> 01:45:29,157 The Cali Bellends. 2202 01:45:29,449 --> 01:45:30,742 Congrats to our winners who get to watch 2203 01:45:30,825 --> 01:45:32,493 this exciting event with us live. 2204 01:45:33,244 --> 01:45:35,329 I'm so glad I got sick 2205 01:45:35,413 --> 01:45:37,790 and didn't attend what would have been my first concert. 2206 01:45:38,082 --> 01:45:40,710 But it would have been so fun to have been on the news. 2207 01:45:41,002 --> 01:45:42,086 What are fiends? 2208 01:45:42,628 --> 01:45:46,090 I mean, why are those killers being called fiends? 2209 01:45:46,174 --> 01:45:47,216 I just don't get it. 2210 01:45:47,884 --> 01:45:49,427 They should be called monsters. 2211 01:45:55,808 --> 01:45:59,479 Gilbert, the details of your mission cannot leave this room. 2212 01:45:59,562 --> 01:46:00,521 I won't let you down. 2213 01:46:00,813 --> 01:46:01,981 I hope not. 2214 01:46:02,065 --> 01:46:03,524 Because you're easy to replace. 2215 01:46:03,816 --> 01:46:04,817 I can handle this. 2216 01:46:05,401 --> 01:46:06,444 We'll see. 2217 01:46:06,944 --> 01:46:08,488 I need you to make my soup. 2218 01:46:09,363 --> 01:46:11,074 My soup is very important to me. 2219 01:46:11,365 --> 01:46:13,284 It has to be hot. It has to be nice. 2220 01:46:13,367 --> 01:46:15,369 Because it's for me and the bird. 2221 01:46:16,579 --> 01:46:18,748 Lunchtime is bird time for me. 2222 01:46:19,040 --> 01:46:22,043 Never interrupt me and the bird when we're having lunch. 2223 01:46:22,126 --> 01:46:23,252 Okay? 2224 01:46:23,711 --> 01:46:24,837 Toilet paper. 2225 01:46:25,129 --> 01:46:26,214 Two-ply only. 2226 01:46:26,297 --> 01:46:27,507 Not one-ply. 2227 01:46:27,590 --> 01:46:28,674 Two-ply only. 2228 01:46:29,300 --> 01:46:30,760 I need you to go to a big box store. 2229 01:46:31,385 --> 01:46:34,055 Give me 1,000 rolls of two-ply toilet paper. 2230 01:46:35,306 --> 01:46:37,600 There's a storage container buried underground 2231 01:46:37,683 --> 01:46:39,185 1,000 feet in the back. 2232 01:46:39,268 --> 01:46:41,270 Put it there, lock it up, 2233 01:46:41,354 --> 01:46:42,605 protect it with your life. 2234 01:46:44,023 --> 01:46:45,650 Is there anything else I can do? 2235 01:46:45,942 --> 01:46:47,401 We'll see how you deal with the soup. 2236 01:46:48,152 --> 01:46:49,195 And the toilet paper.