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[waves lapping] [seagulls crying]
[upbeat music]
[seagull crying]
[waves lapping]
[seagulls crying]
[brakes squeaking]
[door slams]
So, how was your journey?
Very, very, very, very long.
It was a very, very, very, very long journey.
Let there be absolutely no doubt about that.
[Paul laughs]
Oh, funny, is it?
Yes, it's funny!
[footsteps]
[sniffs]
This is one of my famous hot cups of tea that say,
'Welcome to my Scottish Cottage'.
'Scottish Cottage?'
[gulping]
Shit and fuck! Shit and fuck!
How's the hot cup of tea?
Not bad. Not great.
What kind of hot cup of tea is it?
It's called Lapsang Souchong.
Oh yeah.
I know that tea.
It's the smoky tea.
It's possibly the smokiest tea out there.
I mean, am I right about that?
Oh yes you are.
She's a smoky brew.
Give her an inhalation.
Don't mind if I do.
[sniffs]
Do you like it?
It's got a very distinct flavour.
Smell like pee pee.
Tastes like pee pee.
Is that what they say?
That's not cheap, mate.
That's an expensive brew.
And I steeped it for exactly the right amount of time.
You're sounding pretty ungrateful there.
Maybe you want to take that back?
Take what back?
Take what you said back.
Back where?
You what?
I never take anything back.
Not usually anyway.
But okay, I'll take that back.
Only because I just arrived
and I want everything here to go smoothly...
If you know what I mean.
No, I don't know what you mean.
Well, I mean I kind of do know what you mean.
I'm just trying to talk like you. In riddles.
I don't talk in riddles.
I just talk like me.
I'll talk like me and you talk like you.
You don't have to tell me to talk like me.
I am me.
I've always been me.
Anyway, it's dinner time.
Oh, it's chow time, is it?
It's time to do the munchy-munchy.
And how exactly do I find the dining room
when I've never set foot in this Scottish Cottage before?
[chair creaking]
[in German accent] We have ways of getting you
into the dining room
for the veggie casserole, mate.
[strange music] [chair scrapes]
Hey, hey! That tickles!
Yeah, it kinda does, right?
I hooked my fingers in your armpits.
I was wondering if that was your fingers.
Yes, it's me fingers.
[music fades out]
[clock ticking]
[cutlery clinking]
Well?
What was that that we ate?
Exactly. And I mean exactly.
It was a vegetarian ready-meal.
A vegetarian ready-meal?
The wife has a range of vegetarian foods.
We just had one of them.
You and me.
I grabbed it out of the freezer.
Are you actually a vegetarian?
I'm a proper veggie, mate.
Ah. And you know what I am?
No. What are you?
I'm a sometimes-atarian.
[atmospheric music]
Oh, okay.
That sounds exotic.
So-a, sometimes-a I eat-a the meat-a.
And sometimes-a I eat-a the sausage-a.
So, sometimes-a you eat-a the sausage-a?
It's a possibility-a?
No-a. I-a don't-a eat-a of the sausage-a.
It's-a not-a a possibility-a.
It's gone awfully quiet.
[mysterious music]
Come on.
What's this all about, you travelling all the way here?
You came here by car.
You came here by plane.
I did NOT come here by plane!
You came a long, long, long, long way.
That has to mean somethin'.
[floorboards creaking]
So, what's this all about?
Oh, we'll get to that.
Aren't you pleased to see me?
If you're pleased to see me,
then you'll build a real log fire in here
and warm up this Scottish Cottage
for the two dirty great big musical legends
who are gathered here right now, right here
in this most especially Scottish Cottage!
Okay, here we come.
We've got a roaring log fire right now.
Here we come, mate!
Slide me one more of your fizzy beers.
This is another Wee Billy's Big Wee Fizzy Beer.
[cork pops]
[bottle clunks]
[slurping]
[smacks lips]
This is the Green Man.
[mysterious music]
[slurping, gulping]
Aah.
Go upstairs.
Make yourself comfortable.
Have a bubble bath.
I'll get the fire crackling.
See you in a few momentitos.
Momentitos?
It's... too... hot!
Shit and fuck! Shit and fuck!
[light-hearted music]
I'm going to pour you
a Wee Billy's Big Wee Frisky Whisky.
Here you go, mate.
This whisky is from the actual Mull of Kintyre.
[glugging and gulping]
Aaaah!
You're meant to sip it, mate.
You ever been on a journey so long
that your thirst became truly biblical in its enormity?
You what?
Fill me up immediately and no half measures!
[light-hearted music]
Here you go, mate.
Numero dos!
[slurping and glugging]
Aaah!
Hey, you know what I was thinkin'?
What exactly were you thinkin'?
I was thinking we could have a bit of a doobie woobie.
A bit of a what?
A bit of a doobie woobie.
Just a little tug.
Come on.
Just a little tug?
Just a little tug!
Of a doobie woobie?
A little tug of a doobie
and a little tug of a woobie while we're at it!
I mean, I did travel a long, long, long, long way
to get here.
And a man needs to relax.
A man has to relax.
THE man has to relax.
'The' man?
THE man.
THE myth.
THE legend.
THE man?
THE myth?
THE legend?
Who's that?
Me!
Even I need to relax sometimes.
Even you?
Even me.
And how exactly will even you relax?
Maybe the specific way that even I need to relax
is with the help of what's his name.
Yes. And what is his name?
[heavy electronic music] You just told me his name.
So, what is his name?
What is his name?
I'll give you a clue.
His initials are D.W.
Yes, he has two names.
One begins with D.
The other begins with W.
D.W.
Hmm.
Come on. Think about it.
Okay. D.W.
[whistles] Come on, mate.
D.W. D.W...
That's it. Come on, mate. [whistles]
Can you give me a clue as to what his name might be?
His second name is Woobie.
Second name Woobie...
First name something.
Give me a clue.
His first name rhymes with his second name.
So his first name rhymes with his second name?
His first name rhymes with his second name,
and I'm afraid I'm gonna need an answer.
So his first name rhymes with Woobie...
That is correct.
Is it Hoobie?
Hoobie Woobie?
No.
Boobie?
What about-a Boobie?
Boobie?
That's a bit rude!
Boobies!
[imitates motorboating]
No. Not boobies. No way, mate.
Then it has to be Soobie!
No, wait.
Toobie! Toobie Woobie.
You ever heard of him?
No.
Is it really Voobie? Voobie Woobie?
His entire name therefore must be Voobie Woobie!
No. It really isn't Voobie.
It's not one of those double names, is it,
like Woobie Woobie?
No.
It's X-oobie!
X-oobie with an X!
No. No, it's not X-oobie.
It's Zoobie, with a zee, or a Zed as you might say.
Zoobie Woobie.
Done. Finito. Capeesh?
No. You're way off.
Shit and fuck! Shit and fuck!
It begins with the fourth letter of the alphabet.
Something-oobie Woobie.
The fourth letter.
It begins with the fourth letter of the alphabet.
So, it's not A...
No.
It's not B.
No.
It's not C.
No.
So then it must be...
So... Hang on.
Wait! You wait right there!
I need to relax with the help of Doobie Woobie!
Yes!
I need to relax
with the help of Doobie Woobie!
Yes! [imitates motorboating]
I need to relax with the help of Doobie Woobie!
Yes, you do!
Oh yes, I do.
Hell yeah you do!
Hell yeah, I do!
Bow down motherfunkers
to the man who needs to relax
with the help of an altogether top-of-the-range
smooth-sucking paper-wrapped
tobacco and marijuana treat
that goes by the name of...
Let's all say this together...
BOTH: Doobie Woobie!
Okay, right.
I shall arrange for you to meet
Doobie Woobie himself immediately.
And I shall retrieve Doobie Woobie
from my little Doobie Woobie Furry Box.
What, I find myself asking myself,
is a little Doobie Woobie Furry Box?
[lid clunks]
Weave your magic spell, Satan.
[lighter clicks]
[exhales]
Here it comes.
[suspenseful music]
[lighter clicks]
I want to know all about the vegetarian ready meals.
It's what the wife does now.
Or what she will do in the future.
She will launch...
...a wide range...
...of entirely...
...vegetarian...
...ready meals.
[exhales]
Yum yums.
I believe vegetarian ready meals cause chronic constipation.
[exhales]
Yeah. She's really into these vegetarian ready meals.
I think she's even making some that work only in the microwave.
I don't believe in microwaves.
I believe microwaves make chronic constipation worse.
[exhales] Did you wonder
where the wife was when you got here?
Maybe you thought you'd see her here?
Why? Where the hell is she?
I'm talking about the wife.
[exhale echoes]
She's gone to Fakenham in Norfolk with the kids
to do some taste testing
on the entire range of vegetarian ready meals
And what specifically are these vegetarian ready meal options?
Do you want me to name them?
Yes. I want you to name them all for me.
Do you really want me to name them all?
Oh yes, I do.
I want you to name them all for me.
You know what?
I could try to do it in the form of a song.
Oh, you can sing, can you?
According to some people, I'm not so bad.
I can even sing in tune.
I'll be the judge of that.
I'm going to sing it a capella.
It's really written for the voice and the guitar,
but I think I can make it work for you here right now
without the guitar.
[exhales]
If anyone can make it work, I can.
[giggles]
We've got vegetarian sausages.
We've got vegetarian bacon.
We've got vegetarian square balls.
We've got vegetarian tubes.
We've got nug-nug- nug-nug-nuggets.
Oh wait, did you say nuggets?
Yeah, yeah, I did. Yes.
So you do have nuggets?
Yes, we do-do-do!
Nuggets made from vegetables, yes, it's true-true-true!
Have we got golden nuggets?
Yes, we do! Nuggets of gold.
These nuggets are breaded! They look like gold!
Nuggets of gold!
Golden nuggets of vegetables.
Golden nuggets, nuggets of gold.
Golden nuggets of vegetables, yes, riding on a nugget train.
These golden nuggets go choo-choo-choo!
Nuggets made of vegetables.
Vegetarian through and through!
Baby, oh my baby, that's what we do.
Let me guide you through the world
of vegetarian ready meals,
baby girl.
As I hold you tightly in my big old veggie-weggie arms!
Hey guys!
Don't forget the vegetarian schnitzels!
[ominous music]
[upbeat music]
[chomping]
That's it, mate.
That's all the nuggets.
We've had the lot.
You're joking.
Really?
No more veggie nuggets?
Fuck!
You're joking!
Please tell me you're joking.
I am not joking.
Actually, I am joking.
I've got one more nugget.
And it's in my pocket.
And I'm going to roll it down the Nugget Slide.
The nugget is in my pocket,
and I'm going to roll it down the Nugget Slide.
Here is the nugget.
The nugget's going straight into your mouth
after it's been down the Nugget Slide.
I'm going to send the nugget down now.
[nugget sliding]
[chewing, crunching]
[gentle music]
Mm! Yum yum!
[chewing and chomping]
[exhaling]
Why did you come here?
[exhaling]
I told you, didn't I?
No, you didn't.
You know why I came here!
No, I don't.
Why do you think I'm here?
I've absolutely no idea.
I am here because we are both musical legends!
[exhaling]
I'm slightly confused.
You mean you came all this way in a little rowing boat
because we're both musical legends?
Musical legends help each other to make music
as only musical legends can make
when musical legends decide to make music together
as only musical legends can do.
[exhaling]
You're talking in riddles again, mate.
I am here to help you, musically.
I am here to help you become a true musical legend!
You what?
[exhaling]
I don't need any help being a true musical legend, mate.
Not from you or anyone.
Hello, it's me. The cute one.
The one the girls go mad for!
No, I don't need any help being a true musical legend, mate.
Maybe YOU need some help being a true musical legend.
You think I need help being a true musical legend?
Oooh. I don't know.
But maybe you doooo.
I write every note myself,
and I play every instrument myself!
I can even make sexy sounds on the trombone
which is a highly unsexy instrument.
I don't need anyone else!
And I certainly don't need you!
So why did you come here if you don't need me?
I came here because you need me!
I don't need you, mate.
To be honest, I'm not even that mad on your music.
It's kind of cheesy.
And that says something coming from me.
[imitates motorboating]
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Do you think that's funny?
You think my music's cheesy?
[exhaling]
If your music was a pizza,
you can forget about it being a four-cheese pizza.
It would be at least a five-cheese pizza.
In fact, you can forget that.
It's not even a six-cheese pizza,
or even a seven-cheese pizza.
We'd be well into double figures
as we watched you make the world's first
twelve-cheese pizza.
Your music is extra cheesy mate, like my feet.
If you don't believe me, you can give them a sniff.
[sniffing]
Watch out, or I may have to lunge for your neck!
You don't lunge for my neck, mate.
Not when you're staying at my Scottish Cottage!
Then don't make me smell your cheese-y feet!
Oh. I'm just trying to lighten the mood.
Have a bit of fun.
Well, don't!
Oh. I'm not allowed to have a bit of fun?
No!
Not unless you want me to lunge for your neck!
I told you.
You don't lunge for my neck
when you're staying at my Scottish Cottage!
Do not ever tell me what to do!
It's time for me to lunge.
On the count of three.
One, two, three, lunge!
Uh! [Paul choking, Stevie grunting]
[light-hearted music]
[thudding]
[Paul choking, Stevie grunting]
I am the gripper! [Paul grunting]
Feel my grip!
[Paul grunting] I grip, then I rip!
On the count of three,
I shall lunge for you just as you once lunged for me.
[grunting and groaning]
[Stevie grunting] One, two, three, lunge!
Ah! Ah, ah, shit!
Ah, ah, shit! [grunting]
[thud] [grunting]
Have you had enough?
Never!
Do you want more?
Yeah, I do actually.
Have you had enough, you wanker?
I think I've had enough now.
[Paul grunts]
Okay. I'm going to bed.
Yeah, you go to bed.
I am. I'm going to bed.
And you're just gonna leave me here?
I most certainly am.
So how exactly am I going to find my own way to bed?
You'll have to work that one out on your own, mate.
He thinks I can't find my own way to my own bed.
I am finding my own way
to my own bed very easily.
I feel paranoid and insecure.
My head is spinning around and around.
I have what is commonly referred to as 'the spins'.
I do not normally smoke this substance,
even though I am sure this substance
in this case is completely natural.
It is Scottish.
It is Scottish!
It is from Scotland.
[heavy breathing]
[mysterious music swells]
It's okay.
I remember feeling like this.
It can happen.
Oh, it can happen alright.
It will pass.
It has to pass.
Do not be afraid.
You are not alone.
You are so far from alone.
You are most definitely not alone.
You are most...
...definitely...
...not...
...alone.
You are most...
...definitely not...
...alone!
You are...
...most...
...definitely...
...not...
...alone.
[music swells]
You are most definitely not alone.
[crowing] You are most definitely
not alone. [cockerel crowing]
[cow mooing]
Surprise, surprise.
I'm making us a vegetarian breakfast, mate.
[fork clanking]
Shit and fuck! Shit and fuck!
[chair scrapes]
I had a strange vision last night.
A strange vision, yeah? Like what?
I was speaking to my parents.
About having the spins.
You know the spins?
When you smoke too much marijuana
and you feel like your head is rotating round and round?
Oh, I know the spins alright.
I used to smoke a lot of marijuana with the guys.
We'd wake up and get absolutely high
as a bunch of garden gnomes.
I still do smoke a bit of marijuana
to be honest with you.
If we're being really, really, really honest,
we were smoking it last night, were we not?
We were, we were.
But yes, I had this strange vision.
Oh, you did, did you?
I did.
I saw my parents in this vision.
Except my parents looked like me
and my parents spoke like me
and my parents were me.
And me.
That sounds pretty trippy, mate.
I had the spins.
And my parents arrived in a strange vision.
And they were telling me that everything would be okay.
And that I was not alone.
And then when I woke up,
I was not alone.
I truly was not alone.
What are you getting at?
Were you in my bed with me?
Shit and fuck! Shit and fuck!
Shit and fuck!
[whimsical music]
Okay, let's see what we got here.
So, going clockwise around the plate,
you have veggie schnitzy witzies,
that's my word for vegetarian schnitzels,
you have veggie tubes which are a British thing
and they're fantastically delicious vegetarian tubes.
You have some veggie square balls
which are what you might call vegetarian balls,
except these ones are square.
You have two veggie surprises
which are also vegetarian,
hence the word 'veggie'.
And trust me,
the taste is a surprise because you never knew
anything could be that desperately delicious.
You have the finest of all veggie foods
going on in and around your plate.
And then of course, here we come,
get ready for the classics.
You have veggie sausages by the wife,
veggie bacon by the wife,
which is also breaded,
which is very unusual for bacon
whether veggie or non-veggie bacon.
You will find yourself also in the possession
of a couple of breaded garlic mushrooms
by the wife, also vegetarian,
but bear in mind, everything here is breaded
'cause that's how we like it.
And finally, we've got some tomato ketchup.
I like to call him Tommy K.
And brown sauce,
which is a real breakfast classic in the British Isles.
People are squirting tomato and brown sauces
non-stop up and down the entire length of the British Isles.
You can't squirt these ones though.
You've got to hit the bottom,
and you've got to hit the botty hard.
Know what I mean?
All this breaded breakfast talk is making my mouth water.
[mouth squelches]
[sniffing]
This doesn't smell like my regular breakfast.
Is this actually a breakfast?
Is this actually what you have for breakfast every morning?
The most important meal of the day?
[imitates motorboating]
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
[crunching & chewing]
All this breaded food can make a man thirsty.
Hm.
[crunching & chewing]
That's why I poured you
a Wee Billy's Big Wee Fruity Squash.
And what exactly is a glass of squash?
It's a delicious drink.
It's fruity.
It's not juice.
But you'll be thanking me after you try it.
[gulping]
That's one serious fruity glass
of Wee Billy's Big Wee Fruity Squash.
We like it firm and fruity round here.
[exhales like horse]
[upbeat music]
PAUL: Okay.
There's one sheep in the field today.
One white, woolly sheep
and it is staring directly at us.
To be perfectly honest,
I've only ever seen one sheep here.
One white, woolly sheep.
It is this sheep.
This is the only sheep I've ever seen here.
I've never seen another sheep here.
Only this sheep.
And this sheep is staring directly at us.
[poignant music]
PAUL: Let's go.
[bleating]
[vibrant music] [Paul bleating]
[Stevie bleating]
[Paul bleating]
[Stevie bleating]
[Paul and Stevie bleating]
[seagulls crying]
[gasps]
[music slows]
[mysterious music]
[seagull crying]
[door opens]
[door shuts]
[engine humming]
[brakes squealing]
[handbrake clunks]
[door shuts]
[music fades out]
[groaning]
[eerie music]
[sheets rustling]
Aah!
[cabinet thuds]
Uh... ah!
[pillow thuds]
[sheets rustling]
[groaning]
I shall leave the patient
so that the patient may find healing in sleep.
No, wait.
Even though my voice is rather weak,
this is very important.
Please listen to me.
I am listening to you, mate.
I feel there is something I need.
I need a brown coloured drink made with real cocoa.
Yes, I need a hot chocolate drink made with real cocoa.
And I want marshmallows floating on top of it.
And I would adore some whipped cream
on top of the marshmallows.
And on top of the marshmallows,
I would love some chocolate sprinkles.
Okay.
Please cycle to the shop
so that we have enough cocoa powder and marshmallows
and whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and cow's milk.
You do have a bicycle, do you not?
I do have a bicycle.
Please go on your bicycle.
Purchase said items.
Yeah, okay.
Then you will be able to make
the healing beverage I require.
[groaning]
Okay.
I nearly drowned today.
Yes.
I nearly died today.
Yes.
Go. Go now.
Go immediately.
I must go.
You must go.
I must go.
Please go.
I am going, mate.
Bye bye. For now.
Hot choccy...
with all the accoutrements.
Mm.
[vibrant music]
[seagulls crying]
[imitates motorboating]
[sign squeaking]
[tin lip clanks]
[spoon clinks]
[cream squirting]
[chocolate grating]
[owl hooting]
[eerie music]
I shall hand over a hot chocolate to the patient.
Is it constructed as discussed?
It is.
And you purchased all five mandatory ingredients
at the local shop?
I got them all.
How unexpected.
And what are the five mandatory ingredients?
Let's make sure we're speaking the same chocco language here.
As it was agreed, I got cocoa powder,
I got marshmallows, I got whipping cream,
and I then whipped the cream myself.
I mean it's whizzy cream.
You whizz it out of the can, if I'm honest.
I couldn't get ready-made chocolate sprinkles,
so I used a miniature cheese grater
that the wife got in a Christmas cracker,
and I used this miniature cheese grater
to grate dark chocolate on top of the drink
to make homemade chocolate sprinkles.
[growling]
[still growling]
Oh, okay.
I kind of was looking forward to store-bought,
ready-made chocolate sprinkles.
You're on the Mull of Kintyre, mate.
This isn't Hollywood.
[growling]
I am aware of that.
Hand me my beverage.
[slurping and gulping]
Mmm.
[Stevie slurping]
There's a thirsty boy.
[gulping]
I feel better already.
But now I need another hot choccy, thank you.
[cream squirting] [playful music]
[chocolate grating]
[gulps]
Yes, that was delicious.
And now you're gonna do something special
for the patient.
It is something my mother always did for me as a child.
It involves the patient's feet.
Can you guess what it is?
I'm not sucking your toes, mate.
I draw the line at that.
No! You are not sucking my toes!
No-one here is sucking on anybody else's toes!
But if you lean in close,
you will find exactly what it is
that you must do for the patient.
I want you to stroke the patient's feet.
Lightly stroke them.
Soft, light foot strokies.
Yes, I want foot strokies.
And I want them now.
And I want them to be very soft and light
and luxuriously relaxing.
Who doesn't love a nice foot strokie?
Okay. Only because you nearly drowned.
Yes. I nearly died.
Come on. Foot strokies.
Okay. Foot strokies. I get it.
Foot strokies, please.
[mysterious music]
Oh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
PAUL: Ooh...
PAUL: Ooh, ooh, ooh...
Oooh...
Oooh, oooh, oooh.
Am I doing a good job?
[Paul garbling]
Mmm.
The patient shall fall into a deep, deep slumber.
Weeeee...
Mmm...
The patient shall soon feel better.
Then we can look at the sheep.
We can look at the sheep.
The sheep.
Baaaah.
The sheep.
PAUL: The sheep.
The sheep.
PAUL: The sheep.
The sheep.
PAUL: Baaaah.
Baaaaah.
Baaaah!
Baaaaaaah!
Baaaaah!
Baaaah!
Baaaaah!
Baaaah!
Baaaaaaah!
Baaah!
You what, mate?
I was having a dream.
But I can't remember what it was about.
How can we forget our dreams so quickly?
And why?
Why do we?
It's been a long day, mate.
Yes. It's been a long and terrible day.
Which is why I am thinking, what could be wonderful?
And then I just realised.
It could be wonderful to have one more
of your signature hot chocolates
with real cocoa
and some marshmallows
and whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and cow's milk.
Then I can feel fully recuperated.
You sure you're not drinking too much hot chocolate, mate?
And while you're at it, maybe you're also
eating too many marshmallows?
[growling]
I am neither drinking too much hot chocolate,
nor am I eating too many marshmallows.
And don't forget the chocolate sprinkles!
I need to be pampered.
I did nearly drown today, as we both know.
Or maybe someone attempted to kill me!
[growling]
No more foot strokies!
You know I already made you two of my signature hot choccies!
I cycled to the shop to get all the ingredients too!
Yes! And you attempted to kill me earlier!
Hey! I didn't know you can't swim!
[panting frantically]
Listen to me, boy.
I came to this Scottish Cottage for a special reason.
To collaborate with you.
Because I'm a musical legend.
Because I figured you needed some help!
Turns out, you are so insanely jealous of me and my talent,
like how I can play every instrument under the sun,
that you try to kill me in the Scottish sea!
Do you realise who you're speaking to?
It's me.
Look at me. The cute one.
The one the girls go mad for.
Realise who you're speaking to.
[growling]
How dare you!
You come to my Scottish Cottage
and insult me and claim I tried to kill you.
You're the only adult I've ever met that can't swim.
And I'm the only musical genius in this Scottish Cottage.
[roaring]
Forget musical legend!
I'm talking genius!
It's time for you to pack your crappy handbag crapbag
and sling your hook, mate!
I'm not leaving!
Not until you apologise for attempted murder!
I'm not apologising for nothing, mate!
Apology requested!
Apology denied!
I need hot choccy!
I want hot choccy!
Need hot choccy!
Want hot choccy!
Need hot choccy!
Want hot choccy!
I looked in the attic.
I looked downstairs.
No hot choccy anywhere.
Fucking wanker!
I'm going!
I looked in the street.
I looked in the yard.
Finding hot choccy never seemed so hard!
[dramatic music swells]
[music fades out]
[fridge door slams]
[panting]
[tray clanking]
[packets thudding]
[panting]
[door creaks open]
[door slams]
[vibrant music]
Hey. I'm hungry too.
I'm coming in and I'm telling you now.
Don't you dare come in.
This is a private veggie feast for residents.
Resistance is utterly and absolutely pointless.
There is nothing you can do about my forced entry.
I shall enter on the count of three. One...
[tray rattling]
Two...
[tray rattling and clanging]
Three!
[tray rattling]
Enter!
[tray rattling]
Oh, we're grilling, are we?
The veggie feast on this grill tray is all mine.
I disagree.
You can disagree all you like.
Facts are facts.
I'm gonna lunge for your veggie feast on the count of three.
One, two, three, lunge!
[grunting and grappling] This is my veggie feast.
Get your own veggie feast.
Get on a bike and go to the local shop
like I did.
[grunting and grappling]
[grunting]
Hang on, sorry.
Actually, the shop's closed.
You're too late. And it's my bike.
And you're not allowed to use it!
[grunting]
[crunching, chewing]
Mm. This is one delicious veggie sausage.
I love the golden breadcrumbs
that are covering every single bite I take.
I love veggie munching!
[crunching]
I wanna do some veggie munching!
[growling]
Okay!
You asked for it!
[growling]
First you shall experience the veggie sausage!
[crunching]
[chewing]
You like that?
[crunching, chewing]
Yeah, I do actually.
But now I want to dress up like a ghost from yesteryear.
[crunching, chewing]
[thunder rumbling]
[mysterious music]
Zham Zham!
[exhaling]
[coughing]
Zham Zham!
[thunder rumbling]
[music fades out]
[birds chirping]
[slow footsteps]
[vibrant music]
Baaaaah!
Baaaaaaah!
Ebony!
Ivory!
Ebony!
Ivory!
PAUL SHEEP: Ebony!
STEVIE SHEEP: Ivory!
Ebony!
Ivory!
Ebony!
Ivory!
Ebony!
Ivorrrrrrrrrrrrry!
Ebonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Ivorrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Ebonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
[splashing]
...yyyyyy!
Ivorrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
[splashing]
[splashing and plopping]
...yyyyyyyy!
[wind gusting]
Baaaaaaah!
[crunching, chewing]
[euphoric choral music]
[gentle music]
We have seen a sign.
We have been presented with a sign.
We've had our struggles with each other.
We've had our struggles with each other, it's true.
But we needed struggle to find harmony.
We truly have found harmony.
I've never felt this comfortable with anyone.
Yes, I agree.
Even though we've been through some very hard times,
I now feel completely comfortable with you.
I feel like we're completely in perfect synchronicity.
Almost like twins.
You know that thing that twins have
when they can finish each other's sentences.
I think we have that.
We definitely do.
I wanted to finish your sentence then actually,
but when you said finish each other's sentences,
I knew what you were going to say.
It felt too obvious to finish each other's sentences
when you were talking about finishing
each other's sentences.
Do you know what I mean?
Of course I know what you mean.
Of course you do.
It's funny.
I don't wanna leave.
Even though I'd be hard pressed to say
I've had the best of times here,
I wouldn't change any of it for the world.
Not for the world.
And also, let me tell you...
You're the first person I've ever told this to
because you're the only person here.
I think something truly special
will come out of our time together here.
Oh, that's for sure.
Something truly special will come out of it.
Something magical. Something radical.
We can change the way people think.
Yes. We can.
We have the power.
The power to change the way people think.
We do.
Because we can do it in the form of a song.
We can change people's minds with a song.
Just a simple song.
We are in perfect harmony.
[imitates motorboating]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
Hey, how did you know I do that?
Oh, people are always talking about it.
In a good way?
[birds chirping]
[vibrant music]
[engine humming]
[imitates motorboating]
[laughing]
[seagulls crying]
[music fades]
[vibrant music]