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[teens giggling and chatting indistinctly]
[Maggie]: I was thinking like, when he went in
and the way that he like,
acted in the middle of the class.
[Megan]: I know.
- And then he was just so...weird.
Like, who acts like that?
I know!
And so, I don't know,
I was just like, thinking...
[overlapping chatter]
Because it just,
I feel like there's not enough for me
'‘cause I feel like, you know,
I'm really gonna get to a place
that's much better.
Yeah.
But you're gonna be so famous.
- Everyone's gonna love you. - I know.
- You're like the star of our year.
Stop.
[Megan]: No, you're gonna make it. I believe in you.
I think it's gonna be great.
[rhythmic music]
[Megan]: ...And you're leaving, you know?
I don't understand.
Low key, you know, but, like, honestly...
Yeah, of course, right. But...
Please.
Just, just one second.
Oh, okay.
[laughter]
[panting and moaning]
I missed you so much.
It's almost midnight. I thought you'd be here hours ago.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm still working on my college applications.
Chicago's essay question, "“Where's Waldo? Really?"”
- What? I thought we were only applying to colleges out west.
- Yeah, I am but --
It's New Year's Eve, Jules!
I wanted to spend the whole night together.
Oh yeah? And do what?
I don't know.
[sighs]
[knock on door]
[Megan]: I gotta pee!
It's a semi-mergency!
[Maggie]: Uh, the bathroom's down the hall.
Wait. Maggie? Is that you?
Who are you in there with?
Quick, hide.
- You've gotta be kidding me. - Jules, please.
- If you're in there like, naked,
gimme a code word. Say "“naked"”!
Naked. I'm naked.
- Nuh-uh! Who are you naked with?
Just...
It's one of the cheerleaders.
- Who? Is it Stacey? Grace? [Jules]: It's been two years.
You promised you were gonna tell everyone.
[Megan]: Dani! I'm sorry.
- [gasps] - Is it Karen?
It's Karen isn't it?
Get it, Karen!
Why am I here?
Oh, right, pee. Oh.
Jules, I'm sorry.
I'm up for prom queen this year
and if people knew --
Everyone knows you're gay.
But yeah, sure, I get it.
I guess I'm not...
prom king material.
- Well, I --
Anyway.
Jules. Jules wait.
[music and chatter]
- I also applied to the Culinary Institute tonight.
In New York.
That's why I was late.
And if get in, that, that's where I'm gonna go.
What? What happened to L.A.?
We had it all planned out.
It's the better school.
The bathroom's upstairs.
Okay.
Okay, Jules, wait.
Jules.
- I should have never come to this stupid party.
I knew you were lying.
You were never gonna tell anyone.
- Please, you barely even came to this party, okay?
You always do this.
All you care about is you.
Between your extra homework and the diner,
and now apparently New York,
I never make your list.
- Why did you even want me here earlier?
Just so you can hide me in some room?
God, you care so much about what other people think of you.
It's pathetic.
- Yeah, well, you care so little
and that's why you look like that!
Okay, people are gonna remember me.
No one even notices you.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
- Okay, can we just talk about this in, tomorrow?
No.
We're done, Maggie.
I don't wanna be with you anymore.
Fine.
Have fun being alone.
Seven, six, five...
Fine, asshole!
Happy fucking new year!
God!
[teenagers cheering]
[door slams]
- This town was always too small for Maggie.
I hear she has auditions lined up in L.A. and an agent.
Plus, being prom queen? I mean,
talk about a fast track to total success.
Who was that girl arguing with her at the party?
And what was her name again?
- Julianne is just thriving in New York.
She's already been offered jobs at three
of the top restaurants in the city!
I'm creating this shrine for her.
Every word ever written about her is going up here.
I can't wait for her to see it.
She's gonna absolutely hate it.
- L.A. this, L.A. that, it's all so exciting.
And you know, they don't call it Tinseltown anymore.
Maggie won't stop reminding me about that.
Oh, she's gonna be a star, you know.
The biggest. On the walk of fame.
[car commercial plays]
Oh, there it is! That's her commercial! Maggie's on TV!
[broadcast]: And get zero percent financing for up to 24 months...
Give her an Oscar already.
[Doris]: Would you look at that?
Our small-town hero.
New York City's most eligible bachelorette.
But you can't keep a girl
when all she wants to do is work, work, work.
I hear uh, chili peppers really spice up the bedroom.
But Bernie needs more spice.
[Lola]: Are you serious? Maggie's coming home for the holidays?
It's been like, what, ten years?
I think so. But I don't know.
I go by the number of exes she's had, so what, like,
seven ex-mases ago?
- Hmm. This is going to be some Christmas!
Why?
- Well, Jules told me not to tell anyone,
so don't tell anyone.
I'm gonna tell someone.
- But she's also coming home this year.
Her restaurant is being reno'd
so she's finally got a bit of time off.
Ooh! This is fate.
Fifty bucks they get back together.
- Wait, what do you mean get back together?
What? I didn't say anything.
I'm just messing with you.
- You think anyone can keep a secret in this town?
I'll take that bet.
[mugs clink]
[engine revving]
[Richard]: Well, here we are.
[exhales]
Wow. Um...
not much has changed.
We painted the garage.
Three years ago.
The same colour?
Yes.
[both laugh]
Oh, we're happy to have you home.
Thanks, Dad.
[chuckles]
- Maggie? Maggie. - Yeah.
- Did you see? You're front page of the paper.
- Oh, my God, Mom, I told you not to tell anyone.
Well, I'm sorry.
I was so excited to see my daughter.
And you know this town.
Everyone knows everybody's business,
so it wouldn't even have mattered if I said anything.
- And that's exactly why I don't come home every year.
You know, it's unfortunate
that your girlfriend wasn't able to make it with you.
- Yeah, well, she had other plans.
- What was her name again? It was something eclectic.
[Richard]: Um, Moon?
- No, no, no, I think it was like a flower
or something. Dandy?
- Dirt. - Comet.
- I think you're all talking about Fern
and she was two exes ago, so.
Who's the new victim?
Vivian.
- Did Vivian hit the eject button?
No. It was um, mutual.
Maggie got dumped again.
[Maggie]: Oh, my God. Dad.
[Gladys]: Hmm.
- What's that, like eight times now? Ouch.
- I am so glad I came home this year.
- Well, at least you have the ceremony to look forward to.
What ceremony?
Mom?
- What? - It's nothing.
It's a small, little thing. Don't worry about it.
- You're getting a key to the city.
What? For what?
- You know, I asked myself the same question, Mags.
- The car commercial was a huge hit here.
Yes.
- Am I doing it right? Am I waving too fast?
I didn't take acting lessons.
- Mom, when you told me about that a month ago,
I thought you were joking.
I don't want this kind of attention.
- You're an actress. I thought all you want is attention.
[Gladys]: I don't know what you're so upset about.
This is such an honour.
They don't just give anyone the key to the city.
- Hmm. You know, actually, they gave it to Joe last month,
so kinda will just give it to anybody.
[Richard]: Joe the crossing guard has been a staple
to this community for over 30 years.
- Five kids were hit under his watch.
Three were not his fault.
- [Maggie]: Okay, you know what? - Three.
Tell the mayor thank you,
I appreciate the thought, but no.
[Gladys]: Well, it's too late.
The ceremony is this afternoon.
Besides, you're not the only one getting a key.
So, not all of the attention will be on you.
- Wait, sorry, they're sharing my key ceremony
with somebody else?
[Richard]: Mm-hmm, now you care?
- What? No. No, but who...
Sandra from the salon?
- No, actually she got it last February.
It's even better actually, it's um --
- It's, it's no one. I was mistaken.
That's next month.
It's just you. Only you.
Just eat your food.
We don't need to talk through breakfast. Hmm?
[whispers] Frankie.
I'm home.
- You're late. I'm late.
- We're late. - I know, I'm sorry.
Last-minute crisis at work
and I missed the earlier train.
- I should have been at the diner an hour ago.
Will you drop by after to help me out?
I'm at your service.
- I'm so sorry that I can't be at your ceremony today.
Oh, my God, your ceremony.
You're late!
If you leave five minutes ago you just might make it.
Five minutes ago?
Oh, very funny.
Um, you said it doesn't start until one.
Also you haven't seen me in a while.
Mom!
I missed you.
- I'm sorry. I missed you so much.
Have you lost weight?
You've lost weight.
I haven't.
Oh. Have you gained weight?
No.
- I don't recognize you anymore.
That's how little I see you.
We're late.
- Okay, well, I don't think you need this.
[chuckles]
[opera music]
[man]: And that was Ms. Ofland's third-grade class
performing Arpeggio in C minor.
Now the reason why we are here.
Maggie Piers is finally home after ten years.
We thought she was dead.
You might recognize her from What the Star Chronical calls,
the commercial of the decade.
- [Maggie]: Oh, God, no. No, no. - Our second honouree is
best-selling author and our small town hero.
Please let me welcome our key to the city recipients,
Julianne Alba and Maggie Pierce.
[exhales]
[guests claps]
And Maggie Pierce.
Ms. Pierce?
[guests clapping]
There she is.
[tense music]
[inaudible]
[Frankie snickers]
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Wow, if there isn't anyone less deserving
of this award than Maggie Pierce.
Is this the only way to get you back here?
First, prom queen and then this?
Wow, what accolades.
Julianne Alba,
I'm surprised you even showed up.
- Well, unlike you, I actually deserve this award.
I'm the youngest head chef in the Lower East Side, so.
- Youngest doesn't mean the best
so you could also be the worst chef in all of New York City.
- We were on our way to a Michelin star.
Sorry, what was that?
I couldn't hear all your lame bragging
over the giant piece of food stuck in your teeth.
What?
[Tina]: They need to fire that photographer.
Attractive.
Might as well add it to your obnoxious shrine of me.
- Hmm. I think we could find some room.
Maggie Pierce.
Last time I saw her she was climbing
out the second-story window of our house
in the middle of the night.
You could have let her out the front door, you know?
- Hey, she wanted to climb out the window so nobody saw her.
- She would show up at our house almost every day
pretending she was returning a book
or a shirt she borrowed.
You basically had a stalker.
What? I don't remember that.
- Well, you were very strict about your study time
and not being disturbed.
I basically had to shoo that poor girl away.
- So...need me to close up here tonight?
No. Why?
I heard through the grapevine
that someone named Ken asked you out today.
Yeah. I said no.
Why?
- He wanted to invite me over for dinner at his house.
I barely know him.
- He's been our neighbour for 30 years.
- A first date is a coffee or a movie.
Something in a crowded place.
- Okay, well that is being paranoid.
What if I need to fart, hmm?
If it's just me and him in his house, he'll know it's me.
[Julianne scoffs]
What other choice do I have? Hold it in?
Let me tell you, Julianne, last time I held it in,
I blew a hole right through my pants.
I nearly shattered a window.
But in a movie theatre, it can be anyone.
These are the things you need to think about.
- I'm pretty sure that these are not the things that you,
or anyone, should be thinking about.
You will when you're my age.
Here, give me those.
- Mom, you need to put yourself out there.
I don't want you to be alone anymore.
I'm not lonely. I have you.
- Yeah, once or twice a year when I can make it home.
Don't worry about me.
Plus, I might have my eye on someone else.
Hmm.
[gentle music]
[Brooke]: Where are you?
Why aren't you hooking up with someone?
You need rebound sex.
- Yeah, well, I'm trying to find a temp job
because I'm so insanely broke right now.
Brooke, I think this is what rock bottom feels like.
- Oh, baby boo, you're just scratching the surface.
Vi stopped by this morning. She picked up her shit.
- Oh, she did not waste any time.
How'd she look?
- Do you want the truth or a friend?
The latter.
- Fugly. Missing all of her teeth.
Deformed head. Like she emerged from the sewers.
Hmm, so still insanely hot.
Yeah, so fucking hot.
[both laugh]
You'd be mad if I, or we...you know.
I would.
I thought so.
That's why I checked.
Hmm. Oh,
did I mention I ran into
my high school ex yesterday?
No way. I just ran into my ex
at the farmer's market.
Really? What happened?
We slept together.
- Okay, so we had very different experiences.
What? No.
Um, look I, I gotta go.
Just take care of my place for me?
You know it.
[door chimes]
[soft Christmas music]
[Maggie exhales]
- [gasps] Maggie? - I'm sorry.
Maggie Pierce?
Mags!
I heard you were finally back in town!
I can't believe it! It's been so long.
I'm not too sure if you remember me.
We weren't really in the same clique in high school.
I'm Julianne's best.
Only friend.
- Lola. Yeah, I, I remember you.
You used to have blue hair?
And then it was pink.
And then red. And not it's all...
you could see.
Oh, my God! You look the same, Mags!
I can't believe it. I saw your car commercial.
You really look so real. Like you were really waving.
How'd you do it?
- God-given talent. Um, how are you? You look great.
Really?
- Um, I, I should really get going.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God!
That made my week!
A celebrity telling me that I look great.
I, I'm not a celebrity.
I can't. I can't. Mm, mm!
I saw you got a key to the city.
So exciting.
They don't give a key to just anyone.
- I heard Joe the crossing guard was last month's recipient.
- Hmm. Two of those kids were not his fault.
Since you're back,
does this mean you'll be throwing
your epic New Year's Eve's parties again?
My RSVP is 10 of 10.
- No, I, I don't do those parties anymore.
- Oh, duh. I'm sure you have to head back to Beverly Hills.
Or Malibu. Where do celebrities live?
But if you change your mind, I'm available!
Actually, we're practically neighbours though.
I'm moving in right across the street from your parents.
It's taking me weeks to move.
[whispers] I bought the Smith's old house.
Really?
Yeah. They died.
Oh, my God. What happened?
- Technically, they moved to Florida.
But what's the difference?
- Well, I, I really better get going.
Let's do lunch tomorrow.
- I can't. I've got lots of, you know,
errands and celebrity stuff to do.
- I'm not taking no for an answer. My treat.
Ha, Jules! Jules!
Julie Bear! Look who's back.
- I know. I was just signing some books of mine.
That I wrote.
'‘Cause I'm also a published author.
Town hero.
Big deal.
Want me to sign that?
What? No.
- 10,355th on the Times best-selling list, too.
Up 18 spots from yesterday.
- And if only you had a good personality
to go with all of that.
Too bad. Can't have it all.
- Okay! I have felt the energy shift
and this has now become awkward.
So, I'm going to [clicks tongue] leave.
Lola out.
[window squeaking]
- I guess this is what it's gonna be this holiday?
Us running into each other everywhere?
- It's a small town. Hard to avoid people.
Well, maybe we should try.
- Look, this is my town still so --
- My town? Sorry, I didn't realize
you got the whole town in the break-up.
- Just... stay away from me.
Okay?
- Please, like I even wanna be near you.
You smell like fish.
- Yeah, well, it's Fish & Chips Day at the diner.
- Hi. It's so nice to see you. - Hi.
[grunts]
Lola, what are you doing?
What happened? What happened?
You're just always there.
[Christmas bells chiming]
[♪ Merry Christmas by Linneah]
[car honking]
Lola.
Hi!
Come on, in, let's go!
- Ta-da!
- What? Lola, no, I'm not eating Tina's diner.
- It's either here or the Chinese buffet
that only serves pierogies.
And has failed their last three health inspections.
Plus, I don't think Jules is helping out today.
- Okay, yeah, the diner it is. Okay.
[Lola]: I am so glad we did this.
You know, I always felt a missed connection
with you in high school.
We could have been like so close.
Um, sure.
Uh...
That's a keeper.
- I can see Jules has dabbled in the menu.
"“Pan-fried pastry roll filled with artisanal cheese
and aged salami."”
That's a pizza pocket.
Jules, hey!
- What are you doing here? With her?
She's one of my best friends.
No, she isn't.
But, well, she could be.
She said she loves you.
I mean, said, "Hi" to you.
No, she didn't.
Hi.
- You said she wasn't gonna be here today.
Did I? Oops.
- Okay, let's risk the Chinese buffet.
- It'll be totally cool. Don't worry.
She told me that she doesn't hate you anymore.
Okay, that's a lie. She like, really, really hates you.
It's borderline unhealthy.
But we can fix that.
[Lola squealing]
Jules, look who's here? I'm just...you know.
I'm just stretching.
What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here? At a diner?
Um, I don't know, do you ask all of your customers that?
Hey, Joe?
What are you doing here at the diner?
Julianne's asking everybody.
Eating. Dumbass.
We're eating, dumbass.
- Okay, this isn't a great start.
- I thought it was pretty clear that I didn't wanna see you.
And I thought we agreed to avoid each other.
- I think what Jules is trying to say
is that she's happy that you're making an effort.
- And you're trying to fix that broken bond
between the two of you.
Making the first step is the hardest.
- That's the complete opposite of what I just I said.
- Okay, I, I wouldn't be here if Lola didn't basically force me.
Trust me, I wanna see you, way less than you wanna see me.
- Okay, and what Maggie's trying to say
is that she regrets not coming to see you sooner.
And she valued your relationship and hopes
that one day you guys can be as close as you once were.
Yeah. Okay.
- Shouldn't you be cooking or something?
- We're actually all out of food today.
[Maggie sighs]
- If I'm being honest, this is actually going better
than I thought.
[Frankie]: Should we? [Maggie]: If you don't I will.
[Frankie and Maggie chatting]
[giggling]
[Maggie]: No, just the bottom part.
[Frankie]: Just around.
How are you sleeping through this?
This is good.
- Yeah. So, you find a temp job yet?
No, no.
You know, the diner is hiring.
Very funny.
- No, everyone is talking about you guys.
They're really hoping for a holiday romance.
- Does no one here have anything else better to do?
No, I got your back.
I made sure everyone knows that Jules
is way out of your league now.
Okay, thanks.
Wait, wait, look.
[phone rings]
- Yeah, she really shouldn't be driving anymore.
We're late.
[Gladys]: Girls let's hurry up!
For what?
You seriously don't remember
what we do every year?
- Oh, no. - Mm-hmm.
- No. - Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.
♪ Come adore on this great night ♪
♪ Queens and kings in glorious light ♪
♪ And we all in fab array
♪ Celebrate with flair today
♪ Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria
♪ In eleganza
♪ Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria
♪ In extravaganza
[Richard]: Those heels are killing my toes.
[Gladys]: I told you to wear your boots.
[Richard]: But they didn't go with my outfit.
Hmm, okay, you know what? No.
I think I'm gonna skip this one, so.
- What? Oh, come on. She's not even gonna recognize you.
Listen, the faster we get the donations, the sooner we leave.
- True. I don't even know why I came home for Christmas.
[knock on door]
- That order was supposed to go through on Wednesday.
I don't understand why it hasn't been delivered yet.
You realize if it's not in by the weekend,
it's gonna seriously --
[Maggie]: Hello, we're waiting.
- Sorry, can I call you back? I have carollers in, I hope, drag?
Sorry, guys, running a restaurant and all.
Can I request a song?
- Oh, sure, honey. But it'll cost you extra.
Okay.
Since you're in drag,
how about "Last Christmas"?
Oh.
[box rattling]
- [snickers] - Maggie?
[Maggie]: What? Who's Maggie?
I'm Chestnuts.
On to the next house.
[laughs] Okay.
Uh... so, am I not getting a song?
[birds chirping]
[phone buzzing]
[phone clicks]
Everything okay?
What? Um...yeah.
Yeah, it was just my agent.
She probably wants
to set me up with some auditions.
That's exciting.
Yeah.
- If you need help with anything,
all you have to do is ask.
- Honestly, things are really great.
I've got a couple shows lined up in the new year, so.
Okay.
Your mother worries about you.
Huh, but I keep reminding her that you're a smart, independent woman.
Not a lot of people who can
take off to a brand new city on their own.
But you did it.
You can do anything.
Do you really mean that?
We're really proud of you.
So, if you tell me things are okay,
I trust you.
Hmm.
[bell gently chiming]
[Tina]: When are you gonna bring a girl home for Christmas?
Ugh, Mom!
- What? I can't remember the last time you had a girlfriend.
Let alone one you've had long enough for me to meet.
- I work too much. I don't have time for one.
I hate everyone. Do you want more excuses?
- You need more balance in your life.
It can't be work, work, work all the time.
Maybe a girlfriend might help relieve some of those stresses.
You know what I mean?
For my sanity,
I'm gonna pretend that I don't know what you mean.
- I'll have to admit, it's been a while since I've had a man.
Hell, I've been through a lot of batteries,
if you get my drift.
I don't have to get up to turn the TV on.
- Please, let's not go down this road.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
- I don't really wanna be talking about this with you.
- I just don't want you to run out of batteries, like me.
- I thought you enjoyed being a spinster?
Well, who wouldn't?
I have complete freedom in my life.
I have total flexibility to do what I want.
And I have entire queen bed to myself.
But this time of year,
it would be nice to share it with someone special.
What do you think of Joe?
Joe, the crossing guard?
Joe, the creepy guy who comes into the diner
and orders one slice of whole wheat toast, dry,
like a psychopath?
- I think he's kind of mysterious.
- Uh, sure. In like, a vagrant kind of way.
Maybe this time next year,
he might be your new...daddy.
You know what I mean?
- Ugh. [laughs]
- [laughs] I could barely get that one out.
[both laugh]
I think I threw up a bit
in my mouth when you said it.
[both laugh]
- But hey, I wouldn't have to be using my batteries.
Please, stop.
[gentle pop music]
♪ We hit rapids
♪ Late night caught in the habit ♪
♪ I'm trying to recapture
♪ The love we had to lose
[wind gusting]
♪ I remember ♪
What the fuck?
[gentle Christmas music]
[Frankie]: Ugh, I really waited last minute to do this.
Um, gloves for Dad.
Ha, life alert for Grandma.
Frankie.
- I can't believe I got stuck with this stupid list this year.
What? Oh, yeah.
- Um, Mom wants to know what you want for Christmas.
Uh, what?
- What do you want for Christmas?
Um...just a second.
Oh...
I'm gonna tell her a vibrator.
Let's do vibrator.
[Maggie]: It's getting hard to avoid each other.
- Yeah, especially because you keep showing up
at my family's diner.
Can I get a coffee, please?
So, um, how's your day going?
- Oh, actually --
- Okay, look, I don't really care.
Um, I need a favour.
My answer is no.
What?
I didn't even tell you what it is yet.
- Well, you asked me for a favour,
and normally, that's something you do
for somebody that you like.
And well.
- Wow, you turned into a real jerk.
Did anyone ever tell you that? God.
[scoffs]
Okay, fine. What is it?
- Will you hire me just until New Years?
What? No, sorry.
We don't need any extra help.
You have a sign in the window.
That is just décor.
Aren't you a celebrity?
Why would you want to work in a diner anyways?
- I need it to do research for a role
that I'm doing in the New Year,
which is why it will only be for a couple of weeks.
No. No, forget it.
Absolutely not.
Remember,
in our junior year,
when we made those special brownies
that Tina accidentally ate and she got really sick.
We told her it was bad eggs.
Yeah...
Be a shame if I told her what was really in them now.
You start tomorrow.
[♪ Tracks By FontsTheDuo]
[scoffs]
♪ Printing out the golden ticket ♪
♪ Has me short of breathe
- Okay, do not close this door, okay?
The handle broke recently and it doesn't work properly.
♪ This afternoon
♪ Starting fresh has me delighted ♪
♪ And warm faces keep me fighting ♪
♪ There's a heart that beats me lonely ♪
♪ I have no friends
♪ But I will soon
♪ I will soon
♪ I hear tracks on Monday morning ♪
♪ I see ships on Tuesday too ♪
♪ The ferris wheel it all kept glowing ♪♪
I missed the snow.
It's so magical this time of year.
[phone ringing]
- Uh, where do you think you're going?
Um, home?
Unlike you, I actually have a life.
I have a life.
Very busy, successful, fulfilling life.
- And yet we both got the key to the city.
Just...
help me bring these boxes to the back, okay?
And then you can go have a life.
Fine.
[Maggie sighs]
[Maggie grunts]
[door creaks and locks]
- Please tell me that you did not close that door
that I told you not to close.
It was an accident.
[Julianne huffs]
Right.
[Maggie grunts]
Use your lesbian strength.
[pants]
Please.
Use your lesbian strength.
- Okay. Well, it's only funny when I say it.
[both grunt]
I'm, I'm gonna call my dad.
Yeah, yeah.
It's in my coat.
Please tell me you have your phone on you?
Let's go up.
Okay.
- Okay, good news is I have service.
Bad news is I have two percent battery, so.
Mom? Mom? Hello? Can you hear me?
Tina? Tina, no. No, I don't care what happened
on whoever's got talent. Mom, we are --
[phone beeps]
Yeah, shit. It's dead.
- No. No, no, no. No, I can't believe this.
What are we gonna do?
- We could try screaming for help.
[both, screaming]: Help!
[muffled screaming]
[dogs barking]
[screaming stops]
That was my only idea.
- I can't believe we're actually stuck here.
You don't think...
Oh, yes.
Uh.
It's still here.
- Is that --
From senior year.
[both laugh]
- Yeah. - Okay.
[Maggie]: I'm sorry.
[Julianne]: That hurt, but it's your turn.
- My turn? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
[Maggie sputtering]
Okay!
[both laugh]
- I'm sorry. [laughing]
What is so funny?
- Okay, my thought process, right,
I was thinking of the last time that we'd been trapped,
and it reminded me of that snow storm in our junior year.
- The one where we got stuck in the movie theatre parking lot?
- Uh-huh. And "Last Christmas" was playing on the radio
and you got out of the car
because you wanted to climb on the roof.
- And draw a heart on the, the sunroof.
- Yeah. Yeah, and then I got down and nothing else happened.
That was the end of the story.
- No, no, no. - I'm pretty sure.
- I distinctly remember you making
a not so graceful journey back down.
In fact, you didn't just fall off of the roof of the car,
you bounced the entire way down.
Okay, well.
- I legit thought you might have died.
It was really slippery, okay.
[both laugh]
Wasn't that the night that we first...
[clear throat]
Um...yeah.
Sorry. Um...
I think so.
All I ever wanted was to be close to you.
I was happy even just being trapped in a car.
I was way more into you than you were into me.
That is not true.
Yeah, it is.
You were always blowing me off to do extra homework
or extra shifts at the diner. I mean,
you missed my 16th birthday because that was the summer
you decided you wanted to learn
to cook your way through every French recipe.
- I wasn't even invited to your birthday.
- What, we, we were gonna meet up after.
- Yeah. We were always gonna meet up after.
You hid me our entire relationship.
You were so consumed with wanting to be popular and...
acting like how you thought others would like you.
That is not true.
No. You're right, I...
I messed up.
I didn't think of it that way.
I was voted most likely to succeed in high school
and I ended up being the most unsuccessful.
- I was voted most likely to not be remembered
at our ten-year reunion.
Why did they even give that one out?
- I don't know. [laughing]
It's cold in here.
Yeah.
Oh.
Thanks.
[gentle music]
[Tina]: I'm here to save the day. Ha!
Oops.
I'm sorry.
I thought this was the bathroom.
[Tina laughing]
[Maggie sputters]
[both laugh]
[exhales]
[laughs]
Tina.
Man.
[gentle pop music]
♪ Yesterday day I picked apart
♪ All we were back at the start ♪
♪ Seemed to me long ago games
♪ What if now we're just the same ♪
♪ And I know that time changes many things ♪
♪ But could it possibly just change everything ♪
♪ With you
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ With you
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ With you
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ With you
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ With you ♪
[indistinct chatter]
- Okay, I've had two Red Bulls, two coffees.
I'm going to need another black coffee.
I feel the energy today.
Lola.
Feels a bit different.
Yes, pour me, pour me.
- Maggie, we are out of rye bread.
If you can let the customers know, please.
[Maggie]: Yeah, okay. Uh, thank you.
- That'd be --
- Okay. - That'd be good.
Okay, thanks.
- Uh, what happened with you two?
- What? - She said please.
- N-nothing. Nothing.
Oh, I'm sorry, let me get that.
No, you're busy.
No, no, honestly.
- No, babe, I -- - Uh, sorry?
- No, seriously, it's fine, I...
I got it.
Uh...
I think I'm good.
Maggie. Maggie?
Oh, sorry. Geez. Sorry.
- Wait, everyone knows you two got trapped in here last night
but you're both acting like you slept together.
[gasps]
Oh, my God. Did you guys...
you know?
Scissors?
- What? No, no, scissoring's not a thing.
What. It is, but not in the way that...
nothing happened.
- This is off-limits to you now.
Sorry. Sorry.
Okay.
I need to know. Did you guys...
you know?
Hmm? What?
No. Nothing happened.
- What? - No, I swear.
Okay? There...
there was a, a moment, and then...
and then we...
- We what? God, woman! Shh, tell me!
We...
kissed.
Kissed?
Shh.
Just kissed?
That is how lesbians act when they kiss?
Why did you need to whisper that?
Hi.
- What is with you two and the coffee today?
- Lola is done. - Sorry.
Uh, I...I don't even know how I feel about her.
I am so confused.
- Well, do you wanna kiss her again?
Yeah.
- I think that might be your answer.
[Lola slurping]
[sputters]
This coffee's nasty.
You need to get me a new one, please.
Just get me --
Sorry, I didn't make it.
This is gonna...
Jules!
[dogs barking]
- Okay, well, um, I, I guess I'll get going.
[clear throat]
Maggie's leaving.
Oh, already?
- I'm gonna go to the back to do some inventory.
It'll be a while.
A long while.
You won't see me around for quite a bit.
Okay. Okay, Mom, thank you.
[Maggie chuckles nervously]
- Um, are you doing anything later?
- Just gonna swing by Lola's for a bit.
Oh, okay.
I, I just thought if you weren't doing anything,
"White Christmas" is playing at the theatre.
Maybe you wanted to go.
- Yeah, I can see if Lola wants to come.
Oh.
I'm just kidding.
I would love to see "White Christmas" with you.
Okay.
Yeah.
[Tina]: I forgot my pen.
Actually, I didn't forget my pen.
What was I thinking?
I can use safety pin
and my own blood.
I'm sorry.
[chuckles]
So, I, I'll see you later?
- Yeah, I'll, I'll see you later.
- Okay. - Okay.
Cool.
Bye.
[Maggie chuckles]
[gentle music]
[chuckles]
[wind gusting]
[sighs]
Okay, which one?
- What's the message you're trying
to send tonight?
Um, I don't know, let's...
try to be more than friends,
maybe, if you want.
But no pressure.
Oh, babe.
That is so lame.
- Okay, well what message should I be sending?
- Like, you've missed out on this for ten years.
And I'm opening the door for you a crack.
No, a smidge.
No, I'm just unlocking the door
so you'd better knock me off my feet tonight
if you wanna get a second chance.
Yeah.
- I don't have a shirt that says that.
- I don't know, halter? Tube top.
Brooke, it's snowing.
- It could work. More importantly...
Oh, my God.
- What are you wearing under your clothes?
What?
[exhales]
[soft sentimental music]
[phone clicks]
[phone rings]
This is Julianne.
Joe? How'd you get this number?
Okay, slow down, slow down.
Is she okay?
Okay, okay, I'll be there in five.
[wind gusting]
- Oh, a part of me thought you were dead.
Vi?
What are you doing here?
- You didn't answer any of my calls.
You broke up with me.
A month before Christmas,
when you promised that you'd come.
You made me look like an idiot.
- And if you answered any of my calls,
you'd know that...
I'm sorry.
Look, you're like the longest relationship I've ever had.
Three months?
And that's like five years
in lesbian math.
I made a mistake.
It was stupid and I realized almost immediately
after we broke up that...
I want you, Maggie.
I flew across the country for you.
I'd fly across the world if you wanted me to.
So...
let me make it up to you?
[phone buzzes]
[phone clicks]
Do you mean that?
Or are those just lyrics to a new song?
[chuckles]
I mean it.
And I may also use them as lyrics to a new song.
[Vi chuckles]
[Christmas music]
[birds chirping]
[wing chimes]
[Julianne]: Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling good?
I didn't want to worry you.
You tell me everything.
Things I don't even wanna know, you tell me.
It was a mild heart attack.
I've had period cramps that were worse than that.
- From now on, you will be telling me everything
you are feeling, always.
Fine.
Do you know who called the ambulance at the diner?
I'm guessing it was Joe.
He also called me.
It was. He's a lifesaver.
- I don't --
- One of those kids was not his fault.
[chuckles]
You don't need to be here. I know how busy you are.
I can manage fine on my own.
- You shouldn't have to be alone. Okay?
My work is okay with me taking some extra time off.
So, I'm going to stay here until you're feeling better.
You are more important to me.
[Tina sighs]
[Lola humming]
♪ Lola's gonna get some ♪
[indistinct conversation]
[Vi and Maggie laughing]
That's not Julianne!
[Vi giggles]
Ah!
[indistinct chatter]
[dramatic music]
- I've got some gossipy-goss.
Who?
[phones buzzing] What?
Where?
When?
Why?
I need answers.
- Vivian. Everyone calls her Vi.
Maggie's ex. Flew in from L.A. a couple nights ago.
She's a Scorpio, so completely wrong for Maggie.
I'm a Virgo. That's much more compatible.
Someone should let Maggie know I'm a Virgo.
And still single.
Vi's a musician.
She's in the band called The Sadies.
They're amazing. I have all their albums.
Like, I can't even believe she's dating Maggie.
I love Jules and all but this girl wants some front row concert tickets.
- I'm sure the entire town is talking about it.
What? This town?
No!
[Lola]: It's kinda funny, though.
What's funny?
That Maggie now has two exes
in her hometown at Christmas time.
That want her.
Want her?
Okay, well, I didn't say that I wanted her.
I don't even care, okay?
It's not like we were even dating or anything.
- We just -- - Kissed? I know!
Isn't that like second base in the lesbian world?
I thought it was almost kiss,
kiss, and then move in together.
- Whatever. It's all over now anyways.
She's got her hot musician girlfriend.
Optics.
That's all she ever cared about.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Let's not forget,
you're the one who stood her up
at the movies. Did you not?
- Yeah, but Tina --
- I know, but she didn't know that
when she was all alone,
waiting, at the movie theatre. Heartbroken.
Don't let the cool, sexy, successful, hot girl win.
[scoffs]
Look at those titties.
Did you seriously heart this?
Keep your friends close
and your potential best friends closer.
Isn't that the saying?
- Uh, I thought I told you to go rest?
I can handle this.
Okay. Okay.
[sighs]
You know?
I'm glad Maggie got what she always wanted.
I'll never be the cool, hot girl.
You could be if you...
brushed your hair.
I didn't order this.
What the hell are you doing?
Hmm? Sorry, ah,
this isn't yours.
Clearly.
What?
Gross.
- Do you think Maggie knows why I didn't show up at the theatre?
Yes.
- How -- - Any or all
of these people have
probably already told her.
Okay, look, you're my best friend.
I could honestly tell from the moment
you guys saw each other again
that you are still into her.
My intuition is that good.
Is it that obvious?
You guys are adults now,
but you seem to keep acting like teenagers.
Adults tell each other how they feel.
Tell her how you feel,
or I will.
You okay?
Yeah?
Okay, now, back to me.
I'm rehearsing my one-woman play later today,
"Walk, Lola, Walk. Don't stop. Keep running."
Are you able to come and give notes?
And advice?
I'm, I'm not. No.
Maggie and Vi will be there.
- What I meant was I'm not, not coming.
Is it yes or no?
Double negatives confuse me.
Are you?
[Lola]: Ugh! Guys, can we fix the light?
A little to the left, please.
Has to be perfect.
Come on.
Spotlight on me, only me.
This seat taken?
- The theatre is literally empty.
- Well, it's the best seat in the house for the acoustics.
Whatever.
[Lola panting]
[Lola]: It was Christmas Eve 1998,
it was when I first discovered my...
vulva.
And now the dance of the --
Aren't you gonna introduce me?
[Lola panting]
Oh. Vi, this is Jules.
She works at the dinner. Jules, Vi.
Now, let's watch Lola.
Nice to meet you.
How long is this gonna go?
- I'm actually a chef at a world-renowned restaurant in New York.
Cool.
Everyone died
from food poisoning.
My mother never cooked again.
Vi's in a band,
but you probably already knew that.
They're kinda famous.
They just sold out the Greek.
- Hmm. I'm actually kinda famous, too.
I wrote a cookbook.
It's a bestseller.
A town bestseller,
so let's not gloat.
And not to brag, but Vi's bank account amount
looks like a phone number.
What, 911?
- Sorry, are you talking about me?
[Lola]: Guys, can you not talk during my performance?
This is art. Art takes time. Do not waste my time.
This is live theatre, Lola.
You gotta ignore the distractions.
- Yeah, you're lucky that I'm even here.
True.
Thanks, guys. Where was I?
Ah, yes. I remember when my mother
picked up the pickle ornament. [phone rings]
The same ornament I had used earlier to give birth.
Oh, so your phone does work.
- And what is that supposed to mean?
Sorry, I've gotta take this.
I'll be back later.
[Lola humming]
- Just that you didn't call me to tell me about Tina.
I had to hear about it from Lola.
- Okay, look, I'm sorry I was a little preoccupied
taking care of my sick mother and I didn't think
to call you right away.
- At all. You didn't call me at all.
- Okay. Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you.
It's fine.
It's clearly not fine.
Well, it's over now.
- Okay --
Shh! Just watch Lola.
We shouldn't be talking.
[Lola singing]
[Vi]: Sorry. Hey.
Hey.
[Lola]: Tippy tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
Did I miss something?
[Jules and Maggie]: No.
[Lola]: Well, Lola lived.
Lola will always live.
[exhaling]
[gasps]
Lola!
[body rasps on floor]
[gentle pop music]
[sighs]
So,
what's with you and Julie?
Jules?
Same thing.
What do you mean?
- [scoffs] - Come on, Mags,
you two are acting like two angry exes.
- Uh, okay, I would never wanna date someone like her.
Hmm, okay.
You sure? '‘Cause you seemed pretty upset
when you left the theatre.
- Yeah, well, I thought that she was my friend
and she treats me like I'm nothing,
so...
look, I don't wanna talk about her anymore.
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
Hmm, okay.
There... may have been an ulterior motive
to me coming here for Christmas.
What is it?
- So, I just found out from my label
that I'm going on tour.
On tour?
- Yeah, so, six months in Europe
and then headed to Asia for like, another six months.
And... I want you to come with me.
That's a whole year.
- Yeah, but I mean, you said it yourself,
you wanted to take a little break from acting.
This is perfect timing.
Yeah. Yeah, I know but...
Look,
I could do this without you.
But I don't want to.
You're my muse.
I want you with me.
- Are you sure you want me tagging along?
I don't wanna get in the way.
- There's only we in this relationship.
Not me.
I wanna do this together.
You don't have to answer me right now but...
just think about it. Okay?
- I don't need to think about it.
I'm in.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm in.
I knew you'd say yes.
[Maggie chuckles happily]
Door open, ladies.
I hope you're joking.
- I keep forgetting that you're adults.
Carry on and have fun.
Honest to God, Gladys, be cool.
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
- No. I'm just glad you're coming.
Me too.
[Gladys]: Maggie,
this is from your father and I.
Well, when you open it,
he's going to be just as surprised as you are.
He never knows what we get you.
Well, I paid for it.
- Oh, my God, Richard, it doesn't matter.
[Maggie]: Oh...
Mom, Dad, I... I can't accept it.
- What is it? - What the hell?
You guys got me socks and underwear.
How is this fair?
- What is it, a car? [laughs]
You live rent free.
Maybe if you get your own place
and start paying rent,
I'll start buying something more expensive for you, too.
Socks and underwear are fine.
- Maggie, we just don't want you to give up on your dreams.
We've really loved having you at home this year.
I mean,
we just wanna help out a little.
Thanks, Mom and Dad.
- Just promise me you'll come home as much as you can, okay?
I promise.
Okay, sweetheart.
- Seriously, what did we get you?
It's actual chicken scratch.
I don't even know how Dad could read this.
[Tina]: All of those recipes were in his head.
I had to beg for him to write it down before he died.
Two tablespoons of "goopa"?
"Goaba"?
I actually think he might have made up ingredients
just to mess with us.
Knowing your father,
that wouldn't surprise me.
I've tried this recipe every Christmas for the last 15 years
and I can't seem to get it right.
- Do you think Dad would have been proud of me?
- Ah, he would have been proud of you if you were a dishwasher.
He just wanted you to be happy.
No matter what you did.
I really miss him.
His bad puns and his long, overdrawn stories.
And his bad singing.
The voice of a dying cat.
[both laugh]
- Maybe we should make something else.
- Honestly, it's fun to just cook with you,
even if we don't get it right.
Why don't we start again?
I think there's some "goaba" in the fridge.
- I think you mean "goopa," It's on the shelf.
[gentle music]
What does that say?
Butter.
- Oh. [laughs]
[instrumental Christmas music] [indistinct chatter]
- Hi. - Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, you finally nailed your dad's holiday pie?
Only took 16 years.
[indistinct chatter]
- Is Joe here? I heard he'd be here?
- Oh, don't you dare go home with Joe tonight.
- I'm sorry, he's the one for me.
- Oh, Mom! Higher standards.
Mom!
[Tina]: Hi, guys. [Richard]: Hi.
[Gladys]: How are you? [Richard]: Can I get you a drink?
[Tina]: Hi, Joe. How are you?
Hi.
You can't be mad at me.
It's Christmas.
It's like a reset for the year.
I'm not mad anymore.
Um...
Vi invited me on tour with them
and we leave tomorrow,
and honestly, I'm really excited, so.
Can, can we talk quick?
Okay. What's up?
Like,
somewhere a little more private?
[Vi]: Oh, lemon in there.
- I'll go get some snacks. How's that sound?
Yes!
- I'll be right back. - Snacks.
[Richard]: Please. Please.
Sure. Yeah.
[Richard]: Well, I've heard things about you, Lola.
A lot of things about you.
[overlapping chatter]
[door creaking]
Wow.
What?
- Literally nothing has changed in this room.
[chuckles]
You still have this?
- Okay, well, yeah. I'm a hoarder, clearly.
[Maggie chuckles]
So, what's up?
I quit my job in New York.
What?
I, I don't understand. Why would you do that?
- '‘Cause I would rather be remembered
by the people that I love
than by strangers that I don't know.
That's great, Jules.
- [Frankie]: Maggie! Maggie! - Um...we should get going.
Wait, wait.
There's something else.
Don't go on tour with Vi.
What?
- I am sorry that it has taken me so long
to show up for you like you've always needed me to.
You've always been in the back of my mind
and I don't wanna spend ten more seconds without you.
I choose us, Maggie.
I love you.
Um,
I think you're gonna wanna come downstairs.
[loud snoring]
[Vi]: Maggie.
What's going on?
Maggie Catherine Pierce.
Oh no.
You are my inspiration,
my ingenuity, my vision.
I know I've thrown a lot of curveballs at you this trip
but there's one more.
Marry me.
Um...
- I know, you're at a loss for words.
I...
Do you wanna be my wife?
[snoring stops]
For Christ's sake,
you two are so wrong for one another.
It's obvious who Magie should be with.
Uh...
[Christmas bells jingling]
[contemplative music]
[Vi sighs]
Vi, wait. Wait, wait.
- The amount of talking in this family.
It just goes on and on.
Can't a woman sleep in peace?
[dramatic music]
[Maggie]: Vi!
Vi, wait!
Vi, wait.
Just open the -- Vi!
[engine revving]
[Julianne]: No. No, no, no, no. Fuck!
[whistles loudly]
[Lola]: Run!
- Seriously? - Go get her.
Okay.
[engine rumbling]
[Radio DJ]: And now, a new single from the Sadies.
[pop music]
- [scoffs] - This song is good.
♪ I need to take this chance
♪ I know I should keep my distance ♪
♪ Last time that I saw you
♪ You gave me those eyes and I think I found it ♪
[engines roaring]
[Frankie]: I thought lesbians were supposed to be good at directions.
This is painful.
♪ Oh, I want you back in my life ♪
[Maggie]: Come on, pick up, pick up.
♪ I know I can I keep it together ♪
♪ Oh, I want you back in my life ♪
[engines rumbling]
- Side window! Side window! Side window!
[Tina]: Can someone do something!
♪ I love my ex
♪ Oh, I love my ex
♪ I love my ex I love my ex ♪
♪ Oh, I love my ex I love my ex ♪
[tires screech to a halt]
[song stops]
[Maggie]: Vi.
Vi, I'm sorry.
- What is this town, a maze?
I feel so stupid.
- Don't. Look, I'm sorry, it was just...
it was way too soon.
- I'm not talking about the proposal.
I can't believe I was too stupid not to see what was going on
between you and Jessica.
It's Jules.
Whatever.
- Nothing was happening between us.
Yeah, well, we did kiss.
You kissed?
When?
A few days ago.
Yes, but we were broken up.
- Wait, wait, was this the same night
that I arrived?
No, of course not.
- Wait, did you get back with your ex,
the same night that Tina had a heart attack?
- Okay, first of all, it was angina, and,
how did this get turned back on me?
- How did you fall in love with someone you barely know,
so quickly?
Did I really mean that little to you?
No, Vi!
Barely knew?
We dated for two years in high school.
- [scoffs] - Really.
[sharp inhale]
I can explain.
- And this is exactly why I don't date small-town lesbians.
- It's just too messy. - Oh, please.
Like L.A. is any better.
The chart looks like a fucking galaxy.
- Okay, let me just get this straight.
So, you got back with your ex the same night.
No!
- Which means you didn't actually like me.
- And you never even told her that we dated?
It's been over ten years and you're still hiding me.
And then to top it all off,
you had the audacity to get mad at me?
Am I missing anything here?
- I think you nailed it there, Jamie.
The only good thing to come from all of this
is that I'm gonna get one hell of a break-up album.
- I cannot wait to listen to that.
You... you haven't changed one bit.
Guys, wait.
[sombre music]
- How to lose two girls in ten minutes.
The Maggie Pierce story.
You know what? Maybe next year you can bring home Fern.
It'll be a yearly ex-mas tradition.
You know, it's only fun to rip on you when you rip back.
Talk to me. You okay?
- I think I really messed up this time.
- Well, stay and make it up to Jules.
Or if you don't want Jules,
go back to L.A. and make it up to Vi.
It's actually pretty simple.
[Brooke]: I vote throuple.
But no one seems to be asking for my opinion.
Hello?
God, so annoying.
- I don't even know how I'd get her back.
And "her" is?
I gotta go.
Gonna miss my flight.
Wait, who's her, Mags?
No, wait, wait, tell me, who is her?
Jules? No, Vi.
It's Vi. Lola.
[Lola]: Everyone's wearing blazers
and I'm just wearing like this. You see it?
[Jules]: Why are we so profesh?
It's business casual.
- Guys, I thought it was disco. It's disco.
[Jules]: This is business casual for Lola.
Let's be real.
- Yeah. - Let's be real.
But I love it. Love it.
[Richard]: Hey, you guys.
Oh, thanks.
I made it a double.
[Frankie]: She's in L.A.
- There was a tiny part of me that thought maybe,
she'd still pick me.
- Cheer up. It's going to be a new year.
Maybe it's time to get back out there.
There are a ton of eligible women here.
Like who?
- Megan. She just got a key to the city.
The whole city?
- They really will just give that key to anyone.
Thanks, guys, but I feel like
maybe I'm just meant to be alone.
It's in my DNA. Like Tina.
[Tina]: My sweet hero.
- Well, I'm rooting for you and Megan.
Happy New Year.
[chuckles]
[gentle music]
Two minutes till midnight!
Hey, what are you doing here?
Um, where's Jules?
- Um, I don't know, she's here somewhere.
Okay.
[overlapping chatter]
[heavy breathing]
I know we saw each other last night but I already miss you.
I made a mistake.
I am such an idiot.
Can you forgive me?
[Lola]: Don't go spending that 50 bucks.
[sighs]
- I hate that I chose L.A. over you.
I hate that when I come home, it's not to you,
and I hate that I'm the reason why.
I miss talking to you.
I miss you every single day.
- Babe, what are you --
- I wanna be your midnight kiss every year, forever.
Happy New Years, Jules.
- Okay, people, give them some privacy.
God, why is everyone so nosy in this town?
[chatter resumes]
This is the phone that I had
when we graduated high school.
- You know you can recycle it, right?
- On it are drafts and drafts of text messages
that I never sent you.
I thought about you a lot, Jules.
Every single day, actually.
Even after we broke up.
And I should have told you all of this
when we were still together,
and when I went to L.A.,
and even when we saw each other this year.
But here it is.
I'm yours
if you want me.
Please say you want me.
[Countdown from 10 to 1 begins]
Attention, everyone, I, Maggie Pierce,
am completely and utterly in love with Julianne Alba.
Jules,
you are impossible to forget.
Of course I still want you.
[crowd]: One!
Happy New Year!
[party cheering]
- I just heard a rumour that Maggie's going to propose soon.
But that doesn't make any sense to me
because I thought Julianne was the top.
But it would appear that Maggie is the top.
Oh, I need to read the lesbian handbook again,
that chapter about when your ex dates your ex's ex.
That's too confusing.
Are all lesbians exes?
All of them?
- Maggie and Julianne, they moved to New York together,
and she got a recurring role on a show as a lesbian nun.
And now, all of America loves her.
Give her an Oscar already!
- If it wasn't for me meddling in people's affairs,
I really don't know if Mags and Jules would have gotten together.
[gasps]
Did you hear about the Smiths?
They died.
Technically, they're doing a year-long cruise,
but what's the difference? This town speaks in gossips.
It's alive. It's '‘cause of me.
[Christmas bells jingling]
Okay, come on, we're late.
I am an ugly, ugly man.
- Woo! [all laugh]
I would do me, 100 percent.
[Gladys]: Okay, let's get going!
Wait! And one more.
Introducing...
O'Holly Night.
[all cheer]
[all chuckling]
You could have shaved, Joe.
[kisses]
[Julianne snorts]
Wow.
[chuckling]
So, this is every year?
Every year.
Let's do it.
[both laugh]
[giggling]
[all chattering gleefully]
[Tina]: Yes!
♪ I don't need pretty lights on Christmas morning ♪
♪ Round the tree
♪ Santa been taking his sweet time and there's no guarantee ♪
♪ That her and me were meant to be ♪
♪ But I've been waiting so patiently ♪
♪ She is the reason I am full with happiness this season ♪
♪ Not a jingle or a bell could make me smile till Christmas day ♪
♪ I'll make her mine this holiday ♪
♪ Da, da, do Da, da, da, do ♪
♪ Da, da, da, da, do
♪ I don't need sugar plums or candy canes to get my fix ♪
♪ She's sweet enough to keep me until December 26 ♪
♪ And she could be with me
♪ Oh, I've been waiting so patiently ♪
♪ She is the reason I am full with happiness this season ♪
♪ Not a jingle or a bell could make me smile till Christmas day ♪
♪ I'll make her mine this holiday ♪
♪ You are the reason I am full with happiness this season ♪
♪ Not a jingle or a bell could make me smile till Christmas day ♪
♪ I'll make you mine this holiday ♪
♪ Da, da, da, do Da, da, da do, do ♪
♪ Da, da, da, do Da, da, da, do ♪
♪ Da, da, da, do Da, da, da, da, do ♪
♪ Da, da, da, do Da, da, da do ♪
♪ Da, da, da, do Da, da, da do ♪♪
Subtitling: difuze