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-So, between me and you, do you think you're ready for tomorrow?
-Oh, I'm ready, ready.
-[ Chuckles ]
♪♪♪♪
-You're going to be, like, worrying about nothing.
-Well, I'll run through it.
Tell me if I've got it right.
You do the two jumps on the skates,
and I look like I'm doing...
-It's one jump. -Oh, one jump. Okay.
We start to go into our two-person turns.
-No, we're doing side-by-side spins.
-Okay, side-by-side spins.
-It's a one-foot glide to a lunge.
-Yeah. -And then we finish.
♪♪♪♪
-I know you're going to do well.
-Well, so are you. -Thanks.
[ Groans ] Yeah, that's it.
-And here he goes, the great Olympic swimmer.
-I'm in, I think.
[ Both laugh ]
-Geronimo! -Oh, geez!
Oh, you're something else. You know that?
-Yeah. -Oh, man.
That's part of the reason why I love you.
-Love you, too. Good night, hon.
-Good night. -Okay.
-Might be a nice idea if we turned out the lights, though.
That's one thing we forgot. -I don't feel like getting up.
I'm comfortable now.
-Well, I guess we're going to sleep with the light on then!
-Yes. Think of it as a hotel night-light.
This way, you don't fall out the bed in the dark.
-Yeah, but it's not gonna stop me from falling out of the bed.
-It's not going to stop me from laughing, either.
[ Laughs ]
Okay, okay! I'm sorry. [ Laughs ]
-Okay. Good night, hon.
♪♪♪♪
-Good night, hon. -Good night.
♪♪♪♪
[ Coughs ]
♪♪♪♪
-Today is our first time doing Special Olympics pairs
for figure skating.
-Please welcome our next skaters,
Patrice Jetter and Garry Wickham.
-I do the choreography, and Garry picks the music.
-♪♪ O, Fortuna ♪♪
♪♪ Statu variabilis ♪♪
♪♪ Semper crescis ♪♪
♪♪ Aut decrescis ♪♪
♪♪ Vita detestabilis ♪♪
♪♪ Corde pulsum tangite ♪♪
♪♪ Mecum omnes plangite ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I love you.
♪♪♪♪
-I really love skating with Garry a lot.
I can't even describe it. He's everything.
When I'm skating, I feel like I'm free.
But in real life, things aren't so easy.
Hi. My name is Patrice.
I am a totally cool person with a disability
who could do most anything with the exception of bungee jumping,
pyrotechnics, and uber-dangerous stunts,
because then I need a stunt double for that.
Yes!
-Patrice is a big magnet for people.
-She is, hands down, the most famous crossing guard
in Hamilton Township.
She might as well be Madonna.
Do that sound, hon, because you're good at doing the...
-[ Growls ] -[ Laughs ]
-I didn't really have any friends before I met Patrice.
-She's the funnest possible aunt.
Like "Whoo! The party has arrived."
-She's good at making dreams come true for anybody.
Never been in a hot tub before.
-You got to get hit with one of these bubble jets.
-Ooh, I get it in my back. -Yeah, there you go.
-Ooh.
Patrice always sees the best side of life.
If it can be done, she will do it.
-Whee! [ Crowd cheers ]
-I couldn't find any store-bought costumes
in my size,
so I decided that I was going to sew a costume,
and then I know it would fit me.
-It was like magic to see the way she could draw.
-She even created her own kids' television show.
-Kids like me because if I see something fun...
[ Crowd cheers ]
...I want to do it.
♪♪♪♪
[ Clock ticking ]
When I turned 50,
I realized that I had stories in my life that need to be told.
And one day, when I'm not here,
there'll be nobody to tell those things.
And when you tell a true story to people,
you need the pictures to go with the story.
So, I started making drawings for all of my stories.
I'm just thankful that I'm able to remember all this stuff
because if I couldn't remember some of this stuff,
we wouldn't have an interesting movie.
This is Palisades Amusement Park.
That was the first amusement park that I ever went to.
I was six years old at the time.
-♪♪ Palisades has the rides, Palisades has the fun ♪♪
♪♪ Come on over ♪♪
-I had never seen anything like that in my life.
Mom, this is amazing!
I was raised by a single mom.
She never had time for stuff like that.
-So, what do you want to do first, Patrice?
-Everything!
Mom let me ride the kiddie coaster,
and we played games, and we rode on the monorail.
Even though Mom had a fear of heights,
it was one of my most favorite days with Mom ever.
I started kindergarten that same year.
I didn't know that Mom tried to pass me off as a kid
without a disability.
-Whatever you do, don't stand out, and no one will notice.
-Notice what? -Don't worry about it.
-Okay.
-You'll be great. -Okay.
But the problem was when I went to school, people did notice.
-What's wrong with you?
-[ Sighs ]
I was the only kid made to wear a harness
with a five-foot leash on it.
[ School bell rings ]
Standing out at school was a bad thing.
[ Kids laugh ]
You never got invited to go to birthday parties.
They would beat me up, steal my stuff,
and throw flaming pieces of paper at me.
-Get out here, you retard, so we can pound you.
-I wasn't aware that I had a disability
until the other kids treated me different.
My eyes were opened to something
that was never there before.
London broil that's rare, with fried potatoes and onions.
-Oh, man! Aw!
It's been a while since we can afford to have steak.
I tell you that, boy.
-Well, I found a deal. Buy one, get one free.
-You know what's going to happen later with these onions.
[ Both laugh ]
Oops.
-You might as well forget that one.
-You know there's at least one drop per meal.
-That just can't be helped. It is what it is.
You're like a spiller and a dribbler.
-[ Laughs ]
If we were out to dinner somewhere,
and I'd knock over a glass by mistake
or whatever and it'd spill on the table,
my dad, he'd be rolling his eyes in his head,
like everything I did was embarrassing to him.
-I would say or do something, being myself,
and sometimes I wasn't even aware
that my family was embarrassed by it.
To us.
-To us.
Later, if you want, I'll rub your feet.
-Hmm. Okay.
[ Birds chirping ]
-Alexa, play Anne Murray's
"May I Have This Dance?"
-Playing specific songs
is only available with Amazon Music Unlimited.
-You bitchy... You bitch, just play it!
[ Both laugh ]
Alexa, play "May I Have This Dance?" by Anne Murray.
♪♪♪♪
One night, we were going to sleep.
And I just looked at her and I said,
"Would you like to be my wife?"
♪♪ Could I have this dance for the rest of my life? ♪♪
-I hugged him, and I gave him a big kiss and I told him yes.
♪♪♪♪
-But then, somebody had to drop the anvil and say,
"No, you can't get married
because you're going to lose your benefits."
-If you get married,
and you're collecting a Social Security benefit
through Supplemental Security Income,
SSI, your benefit will be cut, period.
That's it. It just will be cut.
And you would probably lose your Medicaid benefits.
-For me, personally, I have cerebral palsy.
I was born with it.
The Medicare and Medicaid thing, I have to have it.
-Right.
-I mean, we'd never be able to pay for the bills.
-Well, they don't care. It's just simple as that.
-It's just not right.
-They punish you for feeling feelings
that everybody else feels, and it's like, "Oh, you're disabled.
You're not like everybody else."
-It's completely true,
but it's not just actually legally getting married.
Even if you're living together, that could jeopardize benefits.
And, again, your Social Security would be reduced or lost,
and the same for your Medicaid.
It would be, um...
it would have to be a very unique circumstance
for there to be no negative impact on the two of you
to actually get married.
♪♪♪♪
So, you have to be very careful.
♪♪♪♪
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Lift motor humming ]
-The hardest thing is never being able to live with Garry.
Garry is only 20 minutes away,
but it feels like we're in a long-distance relationship.
[ Birds chirping ]
-When I come back to my apartment, and she's not there,
there's just like a piece of me missing.
Up until five years ago, I was always living with my parents.
When they died, my sister died, my dad died,
and my mom, I was scared to death.
I didn't want to spend the rest of my life just alone.
♪♪♪♪
-I've been working on making
my own model-train world for 20 years.
It's called P-Town -- "P" as in Patrice.
P-Town is like a world where everything is happy and fun
and the way I like it.
P-Town is based on Palisades Amusement Park.
It's like an escape from reality sometimes.
-When I was younger, my parents were very, very protective.
I wasn't really allowed to do anything
if it was out of the house.
I would watch TV, play video games.
I know it sounds boring,
but that was the extent of my life.
My parents were worried about
whether I could take care of myself.
My dad was an EMT, and he was in a video with Public Enemy
called "911 Is a Joke."
-♪♪ So, get up, get, get, get down ♪♪
-The White guy throwing the body in the ambulance?
That's my dad. [ Laughs ]
My parents, unfortunately, as much as I love them,
they were basically bigots.
For me to date someone of another race
would've upset them.
My mom once told me,
"If you have a Black child or something,
I'm going to disown you."
I'm tired of people telling me who I can
and who I can't spend the rest of my life with.
♪♪♪♪
[ Insects chirping ]
♪♪♪♪
-Alexa, turn off the bedroom lights.
-Okay.
♪♪♪♪
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Clock ticking in background ]
-Whatcha smiling about?
-Because I look good. -[ Laughing ] Okay. All right.
Okay. [ Laughs ]
-I just don't want to look like --
I just don't want to look like some porn star.
-Oh, hell. Heck, no. -Okay.
-We can talk about that after the ceremony.
-Shut up. -[ Laughs ]
-Since we can't get legally married,
we decided to have a commitment ceremony.
-These are promise rings.
And, hopefully, someday when we actually get married,
if they change the laws, we can turn these into wedding rings.
♪♪♪♪
-[ Chuckles ]
I brought invitations
so that everybody has their information for the day.
-I don't normally take risks like this
because I want to fly under the radar,
but this is so important, and I love her so much,
and I'm willing to take that risk.
-We got to get a black dress shirt.
Oh, you need pants, too. -Okay, no problem.
-We just said, "Fuck this shit. We're doing this."
-Right behind you. I got you.
-They can stop us from getting married,
they can stop us from living together,
but they're never going to stop us from loving each other.
Isn't it worth it just to take one single day for ourselves,
God forbid, whether we have a roof over our heads or not?
-I don't take anything for granted because I know
that I can lose everything just like that.
♪♪♪♪
Before I was born, Mom always dreamed of being a dancer,
but she had to do other jobs instead.
♪♪♪♪
Mom used to work in Willowbrook Hospital.
It was a notorious institution
where they used to keep people with developmental disabilities
and it wasn't a nice place.
[ Door slams, woman screams ]
My mom couldn't take it. She quit.
[ Screaming continues ]
Mom knew that I could end up in one of those places,
and she always got worried
when I attracted too much attention to myself.
-She did what?!
-And I was good at that.
-[ Sighs ]
-Ow, ow, ow!
-You do not act up in front of your teacher!
You do not tell strangers to smell your feet!
You do not hit your sister! Where did you learn that?!
-I got hit a lot.
- ♪♪ I'm fine ♪♪
-I was in counseling.
I've been having anxiety attacks.
But my mom didn't trust anybody in the system.
-Well, Patrice,
it seems to me that your mother is very quick to anger,
and it's the reason why you are having anxiety.
-Okay, this is over. I'm not going to sit here
and let this quack fill your head with such nonsense.
How dare you call me quick to anger,
you simple-looking motherfu...
-I had to start taking medication.
I became combative, and I would hit.
[ Bell dings ]
[ Kids screaming ]
I just didn't give a rat's butt anymore.
My mom would get mad and call me the B-word.
Ahh!
-Patrice, stop it right now, you little B-word!
-B-word? You're the "B" for calling me a "B."
-You can't call me the B-word. I'm your mother.
-Well, I'm your kid, and I'm only nine.
A social worker told my mom
that she found me a group home with kids my own age.
[ People talking indistinctly ]
-3:00, in Room 5 now.
-What she found me was a juvenile-detention facility.
When you're in that kind of environment,
you have to do whatever the other kids tell you to do.
Mom, I don't like this place.
My mom got me out of there,
and she gave the social worker a piece of her mind.
[ Alarm blares ]
I went back to school and finally ended up in Special Ed.
And for the first time, I blended in.
The people there were equipped and knew how to talk to me.
I'm feeling angry. -Far out, man.
Let's make space for those feelings.
-Really? -Just start drawing,
and you can totally channel all that anger
into something beautiful, man.
-Really? Okay.
Every time I started drawing, I began to calm down,
and I learned how to use my artwork to feel better.
I met my first childhood friend at 12 years old
in the special-ed class.
-[ Sniffing ] Mm. Smells like popcorn.
-Ew, you farted! Ew!
-Got ya!
-That was my first friend of many.
♪♪♪♪
Elizabeth and Delaney are two of my closest friends.
They were younger skaters,
and they needed an older skater like myself
to be a role model and give them guidance.
They're going to be bridesmaids at our commitment ceremony.
-Oh, my God!
-It's more about how it feels than the style.
I wouldn't like that bit. -Oh, okay.
-Having autism,
for me it's visible enough that people know I'm different
but don't always know what it is.
If I don't like them,
it's probably more to do with sensory issues
than the actual dress. -Than the actual dress.
-Yeah. -Ooh, feel this, Elizabeth.
-Sometimes, I just tell them
because I'd rather people don't label me, like, weird or stupid.
-I think this would look very pretty on you.
-I like that one. -Okay.
-Yeah, just keep it like that.
-You can relax.
-I don't want to get married. Not interested.
I have so many sensory issues that just, like, kissing
and doing stuff with another person is, like, too much.
-Oh, pretty! -That is so awesome! Oh, man!
-Wow.
-That is really pretty. I love it.
-I do, too.
-Do you ever want to get married? Do you know?
-If I find the right guy. -Yeah, maybe?
Have you even had a boyfriend? -Yeah.
-I never did, but I also don't really care.
I don't know why. -I mean,
like, all my friends had a boyfriend,
so, like, I said, "I might as well get one."
-Yeah, because everyone else is doing it.
-Yeah, so I wouldn't feel left out.
Yeah. -[ Gasps ]
-Look at all the ruffly. -So pretty.
-I've only ever seen a picture.
I don't think I've seen it in person.
It's got a little train. -It looks so cute.
-Aw!
♪♪♪♪
-That's so pretty. -Here. Patrice, smile.
-Ha!
♪♪♪♪
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
-They both have, um, disabilities.
And when two people with disabilities marry,
they take away your monthly benefits.
So, they're marrying, but they're not marrying legally.
They're marrying like a commitment ceremony.
So, they're going through the whole marriage.
-Isn't that special? -Yeah.
I mean, it's good that they can do that,
but it'd be better if they could marry legally,
and they wouldn't take away their benefits.
-That would be very nice.
I don't understand government sometimes.
-Yeah.
[ Birds chirping ]
-For millions of Americans with disabilities,
tying the knot can mean losing federal benefits they rely on.
Last month, Congressman Jimmy Panetta of California
introduced the Marriage Equality
for Disabled Adults Act
in the U.S. House of Representatives.
It would ensure...
-So, there is this bill in Congress
that would eliminate the marriage penalty.
Every year, every two years it gets renewed,
and then it just sits there in Congress.
So, we could try to push that through.
-Oh, yeah. All right.
-Should I make the bride and groom
with happy faces or sad faces?
-Well, they'd be happy if they got married,
but they're sad that they can't.
-Disability rights are human rights!
Disability rights are human rights!
-Disability rights are human rights!
-Repeal the marriage penalty. [ Crowd cheers ]
-Yeah, clap it up.
-Can I talk to you about the Marriage Equality Act?
-My friend Elizabeth has flyers, and she's standing right there.
-We're trying to collect signatures to tell Congress
that disabled people should be able to marry.
-I want to get married.
I want to be able to live in the same house as my spouse.
I want to have enough money... -Wrong with the system
is that people think people with disabilities have no value.
You're lazy. You can't work. Go get a job.
We're not contributing to society in the same way,
so nobody cares if you can get married or not.
-Marriage equality for all people.
So, come take action. [ Crowd cheers ]
-♪♪ ...will be a better place ♪♪
♪♪ And the world... ♪♪
[ Chimes ringing ]
-So, this is mine.
-Yeah, so she got her color.
-Oh, Patrice. This is so pretty.
That is cool.
-Believe it or not, that's a $20 ring from Walmart.
-Really? Wow.
-All right, so everybody take a handful of the kinetic sand
and put it in your fishbowl.
-So, what are these for, the tables?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-These were, um, centerpieces from another person's wedding.
And when they were done with them,
they sold them on Facebook Marketplace.
-Oh, cool.
-And since we're on a tight budget,
that's where we're at.
-That's really pretty.
[ Garry laughs ]
-I don't like loud noises.
I don't like when there's a bazillion people talking.
-Okay. No, I got it.
-Kelly, am I doing every one of these?
-No, I put two pens inside my clipboard.
-You just feel it all over your body.
Your whole body just feels dysregulated and awful.
♪♪♪♪
I can't just stand there and pretend I'm having a great time.
-No, that's the second part!
-[ Panting ]
[ Squealing ]
The annoying part is when somebody sees you overwhelmed,
then they think it's a problem,
where actually that was a problem.
This is not a problem. This is me calming down.
This is the opposite of a problem.
Usually, when people see me frustrated,
this is when they step in.
This is when I'm like, "Don't step in. Just leave me alone."
I feel like I'm stuck in this one room right now.
[ Whimpers ]
[ Rattling window blind ]
[ Humming ]
[ Telephone dialing ]
Hi. -Hey, how are you?
-Um, I'm fine now, but...it was stressful,
but thanks for checking in on me.
I don't really ever have friends check up on me.
-Well, that's what friends are for,
so that's one thing
that you'll never have to worry about ever again.
-That's awesome.
-You take care.
-All right. Thanks, Patrice. Bye.
-Bye-bye. -Bye.
-Glad she's in good spirits.
[ Clock ticking ]
-Welcome to Wells Fargo online.
Please tell me the reason for your call.
You can say things like...
-Account balance.
-Okay. Account balance.
Your checking account has an available balance of...
...$58.82.
-Okay. Everything is all cleared up and paid off.
I got 58 bucks to play with,
but I got to save 30 of that 58 bucks for my phone
and for the computer.
So, I got like 28 bucks to play with.
So, we're good.
I'm actually glad that I'm ahead of the game for a change.
It doesn't happen too often at the end of the month.
-I just made the payment on the water bill.
And then, when I get my check in January,
I'll pay the rest of it. -Yeah.
♪♪♪♪
Putting together a commitment ceremony,
we're running into how expensive it is.
Once you count all the decorations, the food,
the venue, it's going to be close.
-Trying to even save money is impossible
because I'm only allowed to have $2,000 in the bank.
If I go $1 over that, I'm going to lose my Medicaid,
and I could never pay for my medications out of pocket
because they cost a small fortune.
But even with my benefits,
I have virtually no money left to save anything.
-This is $2.49.
-Well, you know what? This one's $2.22.
So, it's like I'm on this hamster wheel
that just keeps going round and round, and you can't get off.
♪♪♪♪
Okay.
-No, I wasn't...
That guy's screaming.
-Hey, Mike. Dessert is ready.
And we have to wait because I gotta say something
before we eat it.
-Oh, okay. Of course. -No problem.
-In celebration of Mom's 100th birthday,
happy heavenly birthday, Mom.
-Happy birthday.
-And now we celebrate with Mom's favorite cake,
strawberry shortcake.
I wish my big sister was here.
She's like the exact opposite of Mom.
-Your mom. Boy. Oof.
I never got to meet her,
and somehow, I feel like I didn't miss out
on anything from the attitude
that she gave Trish about some of the guys she hung out with.
-Yep. -She probably would've said,
"Oh, he's a nice guy," and then if the relationship broke up,
my mom would've said, "The only person that loves you is me.
That's why you need to stay away from all these guys."
-I mean, when I used to come visit you,
Lee didn't like it that I was there.
-My mom had issues of her own.
I think that she didn't want to be by herself.
-So, in other words,
your mother felt you should grow old like an old maid
and just live home by yourself.
[ Dance music plays ]
♪♪♪♪
-I had never been to a club.
I was 21 years old.
The DJ is playing all this great music,
and all of a sudden... [ Music stops ]
-Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention?
Patrice Jetter... your mother just called.
And she wants you to go home right now.
She says it's too late for you to be out.
She also says,
"Only drug dealers and prostitutes stay out this late."
[ Laughter ]
-Mom, how could you humiliate me like that?
-Patrice, I'm not going to let you go out
and come home all pregnant.
Do you know what would happen to you if it wasn't for me?
-I'd have a life? -You ungrateful little B-word!
While you live in my house, you will follow my rules.
-I'm going to live my life, and you can't stop me!
-Ugh!
-You're not supposed to hit your mom,
but I was angry, and I didn't know what else to do.
[ Siren wails ]
What's going on?
-Officers, this woman is no longer allowed
to live in my home. -What?!
-I just can't take care of her anymore.
I don't know who can. -Come with us, please.
-♪♪ And since we've no place to go ♪♪
♪♪ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ♪♪
-My mom spent most of her life trying to keep me
out of institutions,
but it was somewhat ironic that she was the one
that ended up putting me there.
-♪♪ Let it snow, let it... ♪♪
[ Alarm blares ]
♪♪♪♪
When I was in that place,
me and a couple of my friends were being physically
and sexually abused by a couple of the staff.
I had to testify as a witness,
and the staff were trying to stop me.
-Come with us, Jetter.
-They stripped me out of my clothing, and it was cold.
And they doused me with a bucket of water
and made me stand there.
I know my mom didn't want anything bad to happen to me.
She didn't know what to do.
♪♪♪♪
Mom was abused as a child.
She ended up in foster care.
Mom's first husband was abusive, too.
When I was born, my mom already had four kids
who were a lot older than me.
I don't think my mom was expecting to be a mom again.
You're up. Good morning to you, too.
I know. I got to go to work. I know.
♪♪ She brings happiness to all the children ♪♪
♪♪ She's a very, very special friend ♪♪
♪♪ Who is that lady who crosses the children ♪♪
♪♪ Who walk to school? ♪♪
♪♪ She waves hi to us on the yellow school bus ♪♪
♪♪ It's Trish, the crossing guard, Trish ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
My favorite part about being a crossing guard is those kids.
Okay, guys.
-Thank you, Miss Patrice.
-You're welcome. See you tomorrow.
♪♪♪♪
See you tomorrow. -Thank you.
-You're welcome.
♪♪♪♪
Growing up,
it was really hard for me to make friends with kids
my own age, so I just played with the little kids.
Hey, guys. How was your day?
-Good. -All right!
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
See you tomorrow.
And nobody picked on the little kids because I wasn't having it.
Hey! [ Laughs ]
See you tomorrow. -Thank you.
Have a good day. -You're welcome. You too.
I'm still protecting little kids after all these years.
♪♪♪♪
[ Engine starts ]
I have to take the van to get it inspected.
There.
I had this van for three years,
and I just finished making the payment six months ago.
I don't know what they're going to find wrong with it,
if they find something.
[ Beeping ]
Like this stupid beeping,
And it's been to, like, four different places,
and they don't know where the beeping is coming from.
So, we're keeping the fingers crossed.
-What's actually happened with the van is it's rotting out.
Um, rotting out causes everything to sag,
so everything doesn't work properly.
Doors don't line up. Car can split in half.
-Yeah, I don't need that. -Mm-hmm.
Um, you have other issues.
Your gas lines are extremely rusty.
Basic risk is an explosion. [ Laughs ]
Um, this car should not be on the road.
It is very unsafe to drive.
To be honest, it's at its life span, to be honest.
If it was my van, it would be at a junkyard...
to be honest.
♪♪♪♪
[ Telephone dialing ]
-Good morning. Traffic.
-Hey, it's Patrice. -Hi.
-I have to talk to you, um, about my situation.
-Mm-hmm.
-My van broke down over the weekend.
-Sorry to hear that.
-And I know that at this time,
all the posts that are close by my house are already taken.
-Right.
-And If I have to take Uber every day,
it's going to take an entire paycheck.
-Right. Right.
Um...I have no idea.
I mean, we could just put you out without pay.
[ Clock ticking ]
[ Indistinct talking ]
♪♪♪♪
-We're looking for
a new wheelchair-accessible van for us.
How much you think,
ballpark figure, I would need to come up with
to get a reliable vehicle?
-We have some good used, reliable vehicles.
Right now, we have them starting about $40,000
for a good pre-owned.
If they need anything from brakes to tires to mobility,
we go over all the equipment, make sure
that we get you a vehicle that's in excellent condition.
♪♪♪♪
-We were looking at vans when we went to the expo.
$66,000, $70,000, $82,000.
-It's just a complete insult to want that much money
for an accessible van.
Your average person with a disability
barely get a thousand dollars, and they want...pfft.
Everything is an arm and both your legs,
and they basically tie...
-Yeah, because they're not going to take the other arm
because then you can't hand them the check.
-[ Laughing ] Right.
Is there any way you can get you a cheaper car
while you're saving for the one you really want?
-None of these cars out here are cheap.
I can't keep throwing money away on cars
that only last two years.
It's not happening. -Yeah, I know. I know.
-You deserve to have at least one decent car in your life.
[ Clock ticking ]
-Here's yours. -Thank you.
-And here's yours.
-Oh, thank you. Haven't had a real meal in days.
-I don't know what they expect people like us to do.
Not pay my rent and bills
and then I'm going to find myself getting
an eviction notice.
And then, I'm going to be living in my car like my friend is.
-Yeah, I know.
-I'm just -- I'm scared.
♪♪♪♪
-[ Sighs ]
♪♪♪♪
-The only reason
why I was able to get the last van I had is
because of raising money through GoFundMe.
I didn't know that GoFundMe counted as income
against my benefits.
So, the government cut me off.
I ended up in homelessness prevention,
and I had got extremely depressed.
♪♪♪♪
I have no idea
how I'm going to be able to raise the money this time.
[ Birds chirping, chimes ringing ]
Okay.
"Enter the loan amount you would like to borrow."
I'm going to see what happens if I ask for, um, 15.
Okay. Going to ask for 84 months.
-It's like 40... It's 8 years.
-Well, yeah, but if I ask for sooner, we're going to end up...
What are we going to do? Pay $1,000 a month?
-Okay, okay. All right. Yeah.
-"Are you trading in?" Nope, I'm not.
Then I got to put down gross annual income.
So, that's my annual gross income.
[ Clock ticking ]
Right. Let's see what happens.
"After careful review of your credit report,
your application was denied."
-Well it was worth a try. We have to try.
[ Ticking continues ]
I know, honey. I know. Believe me, I know.
-I just think that my chances of going back to work
are just going to be real slim right now.
-Yeah.
Well, that is something that we can't really do anything about.
-I-I don't know
if we're going to be able to do the commitment ceremony.
-Yeah.
[ Thunder rumbles ]
Last couple of days, she's been down in the dumps so far.
I can just about barely pull her out of the hole.
Mike and I are trying to pull her up,
and, you know, she just keeps slipping
longer and lower into the hole.
And I'm trying to be as supportive as I can be,
but I don't know what to say anymore.
It just bothers me more that I can't do more.
-Yikes. That's not good. -What happened?
-Okay.
-Okay, so what are we testing so I know what I'm looking for?
-I don't see it.
-All right. Lights on.
-Oh, wait. Let me try. Wait, shoot.
I hate that.
[ Farts ] Sorry.
[ Both laugh ]
-Oh, God!
-Yeah. I'm a stinker like that. -What am I going to do with you?
♪♪♪♪
-Garry and I met when we were both working at the same job.
-Hi. I'm Garry. -Hey.
And I met Mike there, too.
What got to me was the laugh.
-[ Laughs ]
-I had never heard anybody laugh the way he did.
[ Both laugh ]
-We became best friends.
♪♪♪♪
And then, a few years ago,
I was starting to have these feelings.
I said, "No, I can't have those kind of feelings
for my best friend."
And I just took a chance, and I just wrote a letter.
I was like...
Well, what if?
After I mailed it, I'm like,
"Oh, man, what did I do that for?
Now I'm going to ruin my friendship with my best friend.
I don't want that."
Hey, I accidentally mailed a letter to you
that I wasn't supposed to send to you.
So, when you get it, can you just send it back to me?
But then it turned out that he read it.
-I just like you like a friend.
-Oh, okay.
Sometime after that, Garry got really sick.
-[ Groans ]
-He could barely hold himself up.
Garry!
-If you came in here even one day later, you'd be dead.
She saved your life.
-Why don't you come back and recover at my place?
-Okay.
[ TV plays ]
♪♪♪♪
-We just kept getting closer and closer,
and we realized that we were destined to be together.
♪♪♪♪
-We were sitting in the room talking.
And then I said,
"I'm getting ready to go to bed, so let's go to bed."
And she was getting ready to go sleep on the couch.
And I'm like, "No, you're not sleeping on the couch.
You're coming in the room with me."
She barely -- she just about tripped over her own feet.
[ Laughs ] Yeah.
And that's about as far as I'm going to go with that night.
I learned a few things. [ Laughs ]
-Mm-hmm.
♪♪♪♪
-Next to being in Trish's arms, being in water is heaven to me.
If the whole world was covered with four feet of water,
it would be accessible for me.
But that's another one of those dreams
like in a fantasy movie or something.
♪♪♪♪
I could get really used to this.
-Yeah.
-If I had a dream house,
everything would just be ranch-type house.
and I'd have my own bocce court in the back.
And oh, what the heck? Outdoor bowling alley.
-How about his-and-hers accessible vans?
-Yeah, but I don't drive. So, why would I need one?
-Well, because I could drive the other one
when the other one is in the shop.
-True, true, true. Okay, we'll make it two vans.
Oh, God.
-You want to get out?
All right, take your time.
I'm going to go get the chair. Okay?
-All right.
-Aah!
Shit.
Okay.
[ Tablet beeps ]
-Hi, everybody.
It's your girl Patrice, and there's Garry.
-Hey.
-And Elizabeth. -Hi.
-We are in the process of having to pay for a newer van.
Now, these special vans are not cheap.
So, instead of throwing out your cans,
you put them aside and donate them to us.
We're going to take the cans to Scarpati's.
They'll pay us 70 cents a pound, so it adds up.
See ya!
-Okay, now I'm getting a little beer on me.
Whoop.
There's a lot of sensory things involved with cans.
They're loud.
I hate feeling all the wetness and textures.
Now he's got to weigh 'em.
-Thank you very much. -Thank you.
-If I wasn't doing this for Patrice, I just wouldn't do it.
But I go through stuff like that for Patrice, I think.
-$51.35.
-That's great. -Yeah.
♪♪♪♪
Is there anyone in sales
that I could just have a conversation with?
-Yeah, I don't have anything in that price range.
-All right, no problem. We're plugging away at it.
So, we got 60 bucks. -Oh, real good.
-Yes.
-♪♪ It's good enough for me ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-It's in the floor.
♪♪♪♪
You can get your picture taken with Santa.
♪♪♪♪
-Aahhh!
-♪♪ It's good enough for me ♪♪
-That's a lot of cat food.
We are having an artwork fundraiser.
This piece is for sale. This totally cool piece, too.
$27.15.
-♪♪ It's good, it's good enough ♪♪
♪♪ It's good enough for me ♪♪
-Okay. That's disgusting!
♪♪♪♪
-Some more cans. -Thanks.
-Yep. -I got them.
-You know you only got, like, $16?
-What?! Yeah, like, seriously.
-I guess cost of aluminum fluctuates on the market,
so, when it drops, they pay out less.
-I just have a love-hate relationship with these cans.
-Well, it's free money. -I get it.
It's free money, but, like, I lug six bags.
I spent an hour going over there bringing them back,
and then you got, like, 16 bucks.
-I mean, hell, to get 20 bucks,
what they got to be, 30 bags or what?
-A lot of bags. -This is not working out.
I mean...
-It was just worth trying to see what we could get
for a few months.
-Oh, yeah, I totally get it.
-But if we're going to get so little money,
at this rate, we're never going to get there if we're --
-$16. Is it worth it?
[ Clock ticking ]
-We had a good run.
-But... something's got to change.
The Disability Marriage Equality Act,
it's cycling around in limbo.
Why is that?
Is there just not enough attention to it?
Do people not understand the bill?
Why is it stuck?
-Right, so according to their calculations,
the big problem that's standing in the way is cost...
...at least the way they're accounting it.
But there isn't really a thought to what would happen
if people lose their benefits
and have to be in an institution,
which is also much more expensive.
-I worry about what would happen
if I end up back in another state institution.
I'm so afraid because I can't go back.
-I'm so sorry.
-I had to learn how to be outside all over again
because it's like a self-contained world,
and that took a while to get used to.
And the fear of ending up back in one of these places,
I don't take anything that I have for granted.
Even combs,
they never sold any hair products for people like myself.
They always give you the little combs that don't work.
-With the fine teeth. The fine-teeth combs?
-Yes, it always -- -They break in my hair.
I need, like, 150 combs...
[ Both laugh ]
-But I just want to say I just get pissed off.
It costs way more money, and it's dehumanizing,
and it's ableist, and it's just not...
You're a human being.
Like, you need to, like, tell your story and people can listen
and say this is why.
This is why benefits are extremely important.
-I agree. One thing that, you know,
we've been working on is in action in D.C.
to call for marriage equality.
And you might be interested in joining us
and helping to speak directly about
how important this issue is.
-Done. -Okay. All right. Thank you.
This will be great.
-I was committed because people thought I had bipolar,
which I did not.
It was a short-term psych ward.
Patrice's was a long-term.
There was a point
where they threatened to put me in a long-term thing,
but my parents would not let that happen.
So, we did not have the same experiences.
-After two and a half years, I got out of the institution,
and I could finally make my own decisions.
[ Gavel bangs ]
My mom wanted me to live with her,
but I wanted to live on my own.
I was the last person in Montclair
to receive a housing voucher
before the senior Bush administration cut the funding.
♪♪♪♪
Living on my own was a dream.
♪♪♪♪
I decided I was going to do everything
that I couldn't do living with my mom.
I remember having ice cream at 4:30 a.m.
just because I could.
I also had ice cream for breakfast
because I could do that, too.
-♪♪ Gloria ♪♪
-I had never experienced that kind of freedom...
[ Music fades ]
...but I had no idea how much anything cost.
I had to start looking for work.
I would like to apply for the crossing-guard job.
The ad said no experience necessary.
-Do you have any experience?
-No. -Great. We'll let you know.
-Okay.
I got turned down due to lack of experience,
so I just reapplied.
-Do you have any experience? -No.
And got denied again and again.
The only job I was able to find was at a sheltered workshop.
-Okay, so for each one you assemble, you get 5 cents.
So, the only limit to your earning potential
is your drive and ambition.
-A sheltered workshop is something like a sweatshop
for disabled people.
All we did was glue tips on American flags.
And then we had all these holidays
that needed American flags back to back...
Memorial Day, Flag Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Veterans Day.
[ "Yankee Doodle" plays ]
♪♪♪♪
-We shouldn't have people sacrificing
them being on medical benefits
just because they want to get married,
and that's why I put forward this bill.
And we're slowly seeing people get on board with this.
-But why is it so slow? Like, who doesn't agree
that disabled people shouldn't have the right to get married?
-Yeah. I wish it was that simple.
It's not just about making people happy, unfortunately.
It's also about paying for it.
And that's what makes it difficult.
-I don't see how this is a cost.
-It's about the federal government paying for
the Medicaid benefits. -But they already are
because if two people are having Medicaid benefits,
and then those two people get married,
and they just don't lose their benefits,
how is the government making or losing any money?
They just like to have someone lose their benefits?
Like, this does not make sense.
-I wouldn't say they like to do it.
I just think, like I said -- -They would rather that happen?
-So, if they lose those benefits,
that's what the federal government
doesn't have to pay for.
If they keep the benefits, which my bill puts in place,
which it should,
then the federal government has to step up
and provide that sort of funding for that.
-But they're providing it in the first place.
The system is so complicated
that a small percentage of people who aren't aware
are probably getting married,
losing their medical insurance.
And now, the government has a cost saving?
That's where they're saving money?
-Yes.
The federal government wouldn't have to pay for it anymore.
-They can knock them off it. -That's... Yep.
-I don't understand why they would want to take away
from people who really don't have anything.
-It literally doesn't make sense to me.
-We're not taking that much money away from Congress.
-You know, a bill like this
that would affect as many people as it would,
which is going to be
in the millions and hundreds of millions.
But that being said, it's worth it,
and that takes -- uh, it's a long time.
We got a lot of work to do to make sure
that this bill gets passed into law.
-Until we all become a united front
and try to keep fighting this, it's not going to change.
-Years ago, when all of the benefits were organized,
they were made available to serve people in institutions
because everyone was in an institution.
And when people were in institutions,
they didn't have rights. They couldn't make choices.
So, there was no assumption anyone would get married,
let alone have a job or live independently.
-And now we've got something embedded in federal policies
that precludes people from getting married,
which is a violation of civil and human rights
and it needs to be fixed.
-Living with a disability is hard enough,
and then add on to the top of it
that you have to fight for services
that you actually really need.
-Right now, the push is to try to make sure
that the people who are in Congress
care enough to try to get this bill through.
-A lot of elected officials
don't understand the real-life implications
that a marriage penalty has on two people who love each other,
and we need people driving the conversation.
It's got to be front and center.
-What if we got different couples with disabilities
to go to Washington and talk to the legislators there?
-So, our next meeting is in Washington?
-Yes, party train. Yes. Yes, guys.
[ Clock ticking ]
-So, what have we got? -The art show, we raised $281.
-Okay. I'll take that.
-Well, also, too, one of my friends found a nonprofit
that helps people with disabilities
like myself raise money for stuff that we need.
So, the money doesn't come to me,
and they can't count it as income.
-Well, I hope it works better,
because I think you're going to make a lot more money
just by sharing a link,
because you can reach so many more people.
You have friends at all different places.
-Yeah.
-Are you going to post it on social media?
-I hate asking people for money
because it always feels like you're begging, and, then,
sometimes, they get mad and they never let you forget
that they gave you something. -Yeah.
-Like, for those cans,
I was afraid that you were going to get mad at me.
-No. Why would I be mad?
-Because, sometimes, when you need money, people get mad.
-There shouldn't be contingencies to friendship.
Right?
But I think you've had people in your past who have gotten mad.
-Well, an adjective that was used to describe me
by some of the people that were my friends was "needy."
And even though they tell you
that you shouldn't care about what other people think,
sometimes you do.
-Yeah, I just,
I know you don't really like asking people for money,
but, in this case, you kinda have to.
Right?
[ Clock ticking ]
[ Beeps ]
-Hi, guys.
This is your girl Patrice here.
I need to go back to my crossing-guard job
because I miss the kids,
so I really need your help to get my dream van.
And I do appreciate everyone's generosity.
Thank you.
[ Clock ticking ]
[ Beeps ]
All right. I just sent it.
[ Bell rings ]
I was never able to make enough money
at the sheltered workshop.
If I brought home $35, that was a good week.
One time, I had a paycheck that was 77 cents.
I couldn't afford food.
-Paging Dr. Harris... Dr. Kyla Harris.
-I didn't know that I was making myself sick.
My older sister would send me money.
And Mom would help me out when she could,
but she didn't have a lot of money, either.
-If you managed your money better,
you would have food in the house.
This is your problem. You're on your own.
I can't afford to bail you out.
-I felt like such a failure.
-You get Social Security benefits, you get Section 8,
and you get food stamps.
-And you still don't have enough money?
-It's got to be your fault.
-[ Echoing ] I don't get any help, and I manage.
-I was determined to get the crossing-guard job.
After applying 13 times, I went to see the mayor.
-Uh, I'll call you back later.
-Mr. Mayor, I can't prove that I'm being discriminated against,
but I can prove that I'm being treated unfairly.
-Oh!
-And I turned out to be one
of the best crossing guards they had.
[ Whistle blows ]
-Ta-da! Trish, the crossing guard.
Trish takes an oath to keep all the children safe,
smiling as she crosses the children.
Trish is happy that the first day of school is here.
-Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.
The unusual, awesome Tina herself now reporting live.
-All you Patrice Jetter Facebook fans...
-The situation is now dire.
-We need some more money for this van.
-We're trying,
but none of our fundraisers are bringing in that much money.
-These vehicles are down payments on a home.
-She needs a van to go to work. She needs a van to be social.
-And do Special Olympics with me.
-I'm really hoping there are people out there
that can help us.
-We want her to be happy because we love her to death.
-Hey, everybody. -Hi, guys. It's Delaney.
-Coach Jen here, coming at you from Iceland Arena.
-Reaching out to you today with a favor.
-Listen up, chumps. My Aunt Patrice needs a new van.
-Just wondering if anybody can chip in some couple dollars.
-Every little penny, dime, nickel.
-Every little bit helps.
-Patrice is this person who I love.
-Patrice is so nice,
and she always makes everybody feel welcome.
-She says hi to everybody. -She's just an amazing person.
-One of my favorite aunties. -She buys me model trains.
-She'll give you the shirt off her back.
-The rink needs Patrice.
-She's a wonderful lady in the world.
-If you like what you have seen and heard or like,
"Yes, Queen" or whatever, click the link.
-Click on the link. -Anything you can contribute.
-Any amount.
-Whatever you can, help her, please.
-Help my baby sister.
-Everybody should help Patrice get a new van.
-Please, everyone. -Help Patrice get a van.
-Let's get on the ball, and get her a van. Woo-hoo!
-Thank you and goodbye.
-So, fundraising.
Because we've got the link out there...
-Yeah. -Um, other ideas?
Fundraising. -For fund...
We thought about having a penny drive.
-What is a penny drive? What is a penny drive?
-When people have pennies they don't want.
Well, I mean, like... -How many pennies?
-You can't predict ahead of time
how many pennies you're going to get.
-Yeah. We'll take whatever, you know,
whatever we can get our hands on.
-Yeah, we got to do something.
-Or else who's going to do it? I mean, you know, it just...
-This is -- you can't -- you're so limited
in what you can do, and I'm here.
I'm helping you 100%, but, even for me, this is a lot.
-Well, getting frustrated isn't going to help me.
-Yeah, I get it does nothing,
but, like, how come you're not just like annoyed all the time?
-Well, I'm tired. -Yeah.
-It almost makes me sometimes not want to do it,
but I have to do something.
-Can I see how much you have?
Is there a way to show me on there?
-Yeah. All right, so...
What the hell?
-What? -What?
-We got 50 -- what the hell?
-Wow! Well, wait a minute. What? -That's got to be a mistake.
-It's got to -- wait a minute. -No, that can't be right.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, but who's put anything?
-I don't -- it's not $55,000. -No, but total funds raised.
-That can't be right.
[ Telephone ringing ]
-This is Jen. How can we help you?
-Hi, Jen. This is Patrice Jetter calling.
Today, my campaign is showing that I'm at $55,000.
-Oh, my gosh.
-And I just wanted to make sure I didn't make a mistake,
because that means I can finally get my van,
and I just was double-checking.
-Okay. Let me look.
Let's see.
All right. It looks like something's weird.
Um, wait a minute.
I need to double-check with finance.
I'm seeing two different numbers.
-Okay.
[ Clock ticking ]
-Hang on one second. [ Typing ]
Oh, there we go.
Okay.
That amount is accurate.
-Oh, my gosh!
-It's real.
-[ Laughs ]
-I'm so happy for you.
-[ Laughs ]
Oh, my gosh.
-Have an awesome afternoon.
-[ Crying ]
-Oh, my God!
-I gotcha. I got you.
-I know! [ Laughs ]
-We did it.
We did it.
♪♪♪♪
The last day I spent with my mom,
I had lunch with her at the hospital.
We had a nice afternoon together,
and there was no fighting and stuff.
And she passed away the next morning.
At that moment,
none of that stuff that we fought over mattered.
♪♪♪♪
And I felt my heart break.
I still love Mom, and I know that she loved me.
It was just sorta like my mom felt very alone and sad.
If my mom got to be a dancer,
I know that her life would have been a lot different.
The world would've loved Mom.
♪♪♪♪
[ Birds chirping ]
♪♪♪♪
[ Horn honks ]
♪♪♪♪
-I can't believe this is hers.
Oh!
Oh, it's just -- it's just crazy.
♪♪♪♪
-Patrice, it's all yours.
-Thank you.
-I hope you have it for years and years,
and it brings you so much joy and happiness.
♪♪♪♪
[ Engine starts ]
♪♪♪♪
-[ Laughs ]
This is great.
♪♪♪♪
-I just got my new car!
[ All cheering ]
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
♪♪♪♪
[ Horn honks ]
What do you think?
-♪♪ It had been a long night ♪♪
-♪♪ Sitting by the fire ♪♪
-This is like not real.
-Yeah.
-♪♪ It may only last a moment ♪♪
♪♪ But a moment can last a lifetime ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-It's just so cool that all of us are together.
♪♪♪♪
-Everyone came through.
That was a miracle, which we're thankful for,
but it doesn't change the problem with the system.
Disabled people shouldn't have to fundraise
to get their needs met.
It just means that the system is broken.
♪♪♪♪
-This law needs to change,
and we're going to do what we have to do to make this happen.
-Patrice is going to lead an event in D.C.,
and we're hoping to have people from all over the country
declare their love,
celebrate their love, and also call for change.
-Thank you.
-Washington, D.C.,
we haven't quite figured out what we want to do yet.
You're very theatrical.
You know what performance art is?
-Like theater, right? -Basically. Okay.
-This one is my favorite. -Oh, that's pretty cool.
Say, we had a performance thing
where you could "pretend" to marry people as a demonstration.
-Do you promise to push forward disabled marriage equality?
-You can put a little more attitude into it.
I know you have the attitude in you.
-We are planning a big event in Washington, D.C.
Be there.
-Repeal the marriage penalty! -Repeal the marriage penalty.
-Say it again! -Repeal the marriage penalty!
-♪♪ We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder ♪♪
♪♪ We belong ♪♪
♪♪ We belong, we belong together ♪♪
-♪♪ We belong ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-Dearly beloved,
we are all gathered here today to create radical change.
-We must make it clear to our legislators and society
that our love matters.
-It is a fundamental human right that should never be denied.
[ Crowd cheers ]
-Who wants to get married? -I do!
-Yes! -Come on up.
Repeat after me.
We would like to get married... -We would like to get married...
-And be able to go to the doctor.
-We would like to get married... -We would like to get married...
-And be able to buy groceries and medicine.
-We would like to get married... -We would like to get married...
-And be able to pay rent and bills.
-And not end up living... -And not end up living...
-in a cardboard box. -in a cardboard box.
-By the powers invested in me, I pronounce you all together.
[ Crowd cheers ]
♪♪♪♪
We got to have our commitment ceremony, and it was beautiful.
♪♪♪♪
But we still can't get married.
-Okay, kids, gather up all that stuff.
-I'm afraid he did, even though it was just a fantastic effort.
-Well, you're the boss, Jim. Would you excuse me?
-We still can't live together.
-♪♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪♪
♪♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪♪
♪♪ We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year ♪♪
-We still can't ever call each other husband and wife...
-♪♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪♪
[ Horn honks ]
-Hey!
-But at least we still have each other.
-[ Laughs ]
[ Crowd cheers ]
♪♪♪♪
-Let's go, Patrice!
Let's go, Patrice!
♪♪♪♪
-Are you ready for this? -Yeah.
-Here they come to the ice.
♪♪♪♪
[ Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers' "Islands in the Stream" plays ]
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Baby, when I met you, there was peace unknown ♪♪
♪♪ I set out to get you with a fine-tooth comb ♪♪
-♪♪ I was soft inside ♪♪
♪♪ There was something going on ♪♪
♪♪ Islands in the stream, that is what we are ♪♪
♪♪ No one in between, how can we be wrong? ♪♪
♪♪ Sail away with me to another world ♪♪
-♪♪ And we rely on each other ♪♪
-♪♪ Uh-huh ♪♪
♪♪ From one lover to another, uh-huh ♪♪
♪♪ Islands in the stream, that is what we are ♪♪
♪♪ No one in between, how can we be wrong? ♪♪
♪♪ Sail away with me to another world ♪♪
♪♪♪♪