Hey, guys.
Just wanted to let you know I finished the race today.
Downloaded from YTS.MX
It was the worst weather I've ever had in all the Ironman's I've done.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Just want to tell you guys I love you, and you all would have pushed out
and wouldn't even have started that race today.
So once again, your dad is a beast and will dominate you in any physical
event you ever want to try to compete with me with.
But you already know that anyways.
I'll see you guys tomorrow. Love you.
Bye.
What does your morning routine consist of?
I get up, do a set of 25 pushups, get my tea started,
do another set of pushups, start checking, email, social media,
another set of pushups.
I tally them in a little notebook I have.
One year, I did 86,000 of them.
Again, doing a little business.
Quick set of pushups to get going.
Then get ready to go out and do my extra exercise in the morning.
I got a death threat.
Two people who were actually plotting to murder me last year.
True story.
Naming the running path that I run on and literally talking about stabbing
me and watching me bleed to death.
Hmm, this has taken hate mail to another level.
I reported it, that it happened, and then I'm out.
I got other things to do.
Finally on the program, Todd Crandall.
At one stage, he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and was living in his car.
Since then, he has turned it around.
Plus, he set up his own program called Racing for Recovery, which helps
addicts in Ohio, in America. Todd, thank you.
Very patient.
We've been waiting for us to speak to you on the program.
It is fantastic for you to join us.
I know you're happy to share your story.
I don't think it's fair to ask you to go into every detail,
but tell us a little bit about some of the challenges that you faced
before you turned your life around.
The challenges that I faced prior to addiction and during addiction,
I'm the survivor of the suicide of my mom and uncle, both to their drug addiction
and also the survivor of my aunt who was lost to suicide due to her food addiction.
I believe that people that are battling addiction are doing so to cope
with some form of trauma.
And like I said, mine was losing my mom at an early age.
And thankfully, I survived my own 13-year drug addiction.
And now here I am for almost 30 years being sober and serving others
through Racing for Recovery.
This whole program is really a giant extension of my bedroom,
and it's music and sports.
So when I see a band on our wall or an autographed jersey,
I always think of how much work went into that picture getting taken.
So it's not, Look at me, I'm with Osi Osborne.
It's, You want to know what it took to have that picture taken with Osi
and what the conversation I had with how busy on sobriety was?
That's a cool thing.
I admire people who had a dream and went out and made it a reality
because I do that.
I don't sit around and complain.
I do stuff, and I'm doing a lot of stuff, and that doesn't sit well with people.
But it does sit well with the people that count.
All right, everybody.
I want you guys to say your name and one word that describes the pain you would
leave others if you weren't alive today.
My kids, they'd be hurt because they would,
like Rachel was saying, feel that they weren't important enough
and stuff like that for me to stay alive.
But when I think about the rest of my family, I would have to say relieved.
I've really been nothing more than a bird in It caused nothing but hardships.
I don't
have the support for love or acceptance of anyone else in my family
except my two oldest kids.
I think for the most part,
my family would feel relieved that I'm not
I'm going to be a burden to them anymore.
First of all, I'm going to praise you for having the courage to speak like that.
I'm going to ask you respectfully, by the end of group today,
can you do your best to change that?
Joe, I want to tell you, if you think that nobody would be devastated, here we are.
It's right here.
Well, I look at you each morning, man?
You're like a big Teddy bear.
I love you with all my heart, man.
It's so hard because right now, their whole opinion of me is I'm being
a coward and I'm being weak because I'm not providing for my family.
It's just the way my family operates.
If you're not providing, you're not really worth anything.
Well, so hard.
But In our community, I feel loved.
I feel appreciated.
We offer a way out, spiritually,
emotionally, physically,
psychologically, all of them, to get people where they deserve to be,
which is to live with internal peace and desire to achieve anything
they put their minds to.
The traditional way of doing things is you go to detox for 30 days and you When you
come out and you go to support group meetings and you do 12 things
and everything's going to be fine.
And that just flat out doesn't work for everybody.
And when I was going to 12 steps, I was sitting in a room that was full
of cigarette smoke, people talking about how drunk they got every time.
I was hearing a lot of sadness and sorrow and not a lot of excitement.
I didn't get sober to be miserable.
I got sober to live my life fully and find my life's purpose, and I have.
My name is Julie Erman, and I am Todd Crandall's Assistant
at Racing for Recovery.
My job is to schedule, to do any administrative aspects,
contact people for podcasts, do the flight itinerary.
It's just my job to make his job easier.
He is exactly what he needed when he was going through
his recovery in the beginning.
He is an an example of grit and drive and compassion and all of that to show
people it's okay to be vulnerable.
It's okay to say that you're broken.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's applaudable.
I don't know.
I'm going to try.
He has the courage to do something about it, or I don't think I do.
I connect to my crystalline symbol.
I connect all five hand positions.
I connect all three energy centers.
I connect to my crystalline energy field.
I'm not in a coven.
I'm more of a solitary witch, and what I mean by witch
means I just practice energy. I hold space.
I asked to place the vibration of mastery in my individual crystalline energy field.
So if I wanted to hold space for you, I would just have the intention of I want
you to be in a higher frequency, higher vibration of love or whatever,
and just imagine it.
It's all intention.
Our mind's very powerful.
We only use but a very small percentage of it anyway.
It all comes from intention.
So if I had the intention of wanting to hold space for you and have you be
in a safe container than you would.
She brings a sense of peace, tranquility, and no matter what I'm
going through, it's like a safety net.
Her being there has made the journey a I feel like it's a lot more
fun and more peaceful.
I've learned a lot from working with Todd and being here at Racing for Recovery
because there's a lot of pain, but there's also a lot of beauty behind that, too.
There's beauty in the breaking.
We used to think slavery was normal.
That was a normal thing to do.
We used to, not so long ago, not have the ability to have women vote.
That used to be the norm.
Someday we're going to look back as a society on what we've been doing
to animals and be ashamed of ourselves.
I do not want to be part of harming any innocent creature.
I could never do it myself.
So I'm going to the grocery store, voting with my money, paying to have an
animal killed and tortured and exploited.
And it almost felt like in that moment that I had the knife
to that animal's throat.
I was part of that.
I caused that pain.
And I can't go back and fix that.
I can never stop that.
So what's the best thing to do?
Figure out how I can help and be a better person in the future.
And my why right there was to never do harm to any innocent living
creature, any sentient being.
It ruined my It ruined a lot of relationships with my
family and my friends.
I had to realize that it's not something I needed to take personal.
That is a demon that everybody struggles with.
So you think everyone should be vegan? Yes, I do.
Absolutely, wholeheartedly, without a doubt.
So since Todd really loves Chipotle, I think they'd sponsor you.
I love it when I get it the way I want it on the outside.
I don't like going in there, waiting for what I want, seeing what I see in there.
All right.
You have to walk past all of the murder before you get to the veggies.
And then you see the people coming behind me going, I want the heart attack here
and the cardiovascular disease here.
How many people they eat, and then they're on the couch in a coma,
and they go, Oh, that's for the...
What is it? Triptofan and the turkey?
To me, it's like, No, it's the dead carcass.
You just put, and plus, you ate ass bread.
When you eat this stuff, you're like, Hey, man, who wants to go for a run or
learn something intelligent? Do something.
One thing eating vegan doesn't do is increase my patience.
Let's eat.
You want water?
Sure, please.
Thanks for making this. Oh, you're welcome.
We were
buying food one day and we were going through the checkout line and I said
to my buddy, watch, they're going to ask for a carton of cigarettes.
We go through there and ladies, Can I have a carton of whatever?
And my buddy's like, How'd you know that?
I'm like, Look at the cart, man.
It's fun to put a story together every time you see a cart in the grocery store.
Exercise and nutrition are the catalyst of everything else that my life and what
Racing for Recovery believes in is built upon.
If you exercise and then follow it with good food,
you're not only more likely to have a good day, you're going to be able to cope
with anything if it's a bad day.
And that's why people go back and use it again is because they're not living a good
lifestyle that helps them to cope with emotional hardships.
That's why people, quote, relapse, which we don't use that word.
So far in 2023, I've done four Ironman events, and I think
I'm scheduled to do 14.
The Ironman is a 2.
4-mile swim, 112-mile bike in a 26.
2-mile run.
I remember sitting in my basement just looking on the Internet,
and I just signed up for it.
I didn't know what bike to buy, what shoes to wear.
Nothing. Didn't know how to swim.
I asked people that knew about those things to help me do it,
and then I went out and did it.
I did my first Ironman November sixth of 1999 down in Panama City Beach, Florida.
A lot of people, again, they think I just literally went
from detox to running Ironman.
It was a six-year process.
I was sober for six years.
The euphoria of finishing that goal was awesome.
And I'm like, Yeah, I'm going to do this again.
I don't want to be like anybody else.
That's that drive.
You've done one, I want to do 50.
I want to do things that people are like, Holy cow, look at that.
And they go do it for themselves.
I'm the type of person, if I want something, I'm going
to do whatever it takes to get it.
Do you think on some level you might be addicted to running ironmenons?
This is an addiction.
This is what healthy living looks like,
and more importantly, feels like.
We're in lovely Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Fifth time I think I've done the rivet down here.
I love it that this is the 93rd Iron Ironman that coincides
with me getting sober in 1993.
That's pretty cool.
And again, these coincidences just seem to happen all the time when
you're making good decisions.
There are physical consequences of Ironman at the level I do.
I've had back issues.
I had a torn meniscus.
I've had a foot injury in my toe for over a year that needs surgery.
Thought I was having some heart issues.
The The toll that this has taken on me internally is probably not very good.
But most of these things, I believe, are due to emotional healing
that needed to take place.
I still get that rush.
And for me, the ultimate day out there is where I'm at peace.
No one's messing with me.
My body works.
I can enjoy the beautiful place that I'm racing in.
And then I get to experience that euphoric finish in the few hours
that come after that.
Oh, my God.
That, to me, is what I'm searching for.
The talk about statistics, how at the end of the day,
no matter what you do, some of you aren't going to make it.
And that is BS.
Setting yourself up for failure.
I've never one time heard anything close to that being here.
It's set up so everybody can make it.
It's just up to you if you wanted it bad enough.
You know that whole thing of look to your left and look to your right
and they're not going to make it? I go, That's bullshit.
100 % of you guys never have to use drugs again.
Right off the rip, people gave me shit about it on the clinical side.
What? You can't say that?
I'm like, I just did. You want me to say it again?
Here it is again.
Time is irrelevant when it comes to sobriety.
There's never a metaphorical finish line. We never got this.
We might be well-equipped, better equipped to run the race, but the race never ends.
So you can either choose to run with the winners and keep
on the pace that you're at.
You could sprint way ahead and gas yourself out, or you can just stop.
But the choice is up to you.
I've seen people do great here, and then all of a sudden,
they're no longer here.
I have learned over the course of 22 years now to effectively manage those hurts.
I need to manage me and my emotions and make sure our staff is good
and equipped to deal with some of the non-successes yet.
I'm proud of the fact I have 25 people that work here, and Probably
20 of them were clients here.
I grew up around drugs and alcohol, so that was the norm.
Dad stressed out, he's going to get a beard, he's smoking weed.
And then I thought that I needed substances to be normal.
My dad died, and my dad's drug of choice was cocaine.
And in my mind, that was my way to feel close to him, was to use cocaine.
Plus, my dad was the very first person I ever used with.
My dad put the pipe up to my mouth and lit it and told me when to inhale.
So I was 12.
You smoked crack with your dad when you were 12?
Yes. And I smoked cigarettes.
I was almost 12 years old.
I said I wanted to smoke cigarettes.
And my dad's way of not getting me to smoke cigarettes was he smoked
Marlborough Reds, and he made me smoke one cigarette
after another and inhale until I puked.
Smoked ever since. My dad just gave me shots.
He would laugh because I couldn't even walk.
My addiction got a hold of me to where it was like a job.
My story is no different.
I was the low of the low.
When you got to stare your family in the eye and tell them you can't pay
the rent because you just went and spent all your money on crack,
that drives that depression deeper to where, while I screwed up this much,
I might as well go the distance with it.
Her mother had custody of our kids.
She stepped in because we dropped the ball.
She did us the biggest favor by doing that, taking on that responsibility.
For us.
Racing accepted us.
It boiled down to, if you can't take care of yourself in your own obligations,
how in the hell are you going to take care of kids?
My mom and I never had a really close relationship.
And then about eight months into being here, my mom finally gave me her address
to where she lived, and she let me go down there to see them.
And then the second time of going down there, my mom ended up dying
of a heart attack in my arms.
My daughter had asked for popcorn.
My mom got up, said, Samantha, come here. So I went out.
My daughter was standing there, and then all of a sudden, she said she felt dizzy.
And I was thinking maybe she got up too fast.
And then she started to fall.
And then...
Sorry.
My mom started shaking, and I thought she was having a seizure.
So I laid her on her side.
Call 911.
They It took forever to get there.
And I got to the hospital, went in to the room.
My mom was purple.
That was probably the hardest thing.
It showed me that I'm serious about my sobriety because
it I didn't cross my mind to use.
What crossed my mind was, I'm getting my kids.
My kids are coming with me.
Children Services got involved, and I drug tested for them.
I passed it, and then I did everything in the court eyes.
They wanted me to sustain sobriety, have random drug screens.
I was doing all of that.
I'm going on three years of having my kids, and it's been an experience.
My eight-year-old, I was like, Oh, she's young.
She ain't going to remember.
She remembers a lot more than what I thought she did.
The people that are here, they don't understand the impact that they
have on me from a motivational standpoint.
When I see somebody doing something, I'm like, Oh, if they're doing that,
then I'll go do this.
My main goal, one, is to try and win.
But in doing that, I want to be able to race the entire race,
feel like I am in control of what's going on inside of my body.
I don't want to have the course defeat me, and that's what I feel like
has happened in the past.
It's always been the elements, the wind, the humidity, and the distance under
that sun for eight and a half hours.
First year I ever competed or even heard about Ironman was in 1982,
actually 40 years ago.
I saw I watched the triathlon on TV.
It was wide world of sports, this incredible thing called the Ironman.
He's describing the distances, like a 2.
4 miles, 100 and 12-mile bike ride, a marathon.
There's no way a human body can do that.
That's insane. That's nuts.
But as I watched these seemingly ordinary people cross that extraordinary
finish line, I was just mesmerized.
There was something magic about it and something that calling me.
I ended up racing for 15 years as a professional, six-time
Ironman World champion.
It's a very physical experience, but it's made possible because
your mind is in the right space.
Everybody has their version of it.
Everybody has their personal story of what they went through, and each
story is inspiring.
He's coming from a very different place than a lot of athletes, of course,
using it as a symbol of what you can do when you overcome addiction,
when you let go of something that was very toxic for your body and for your life
and for your relationships, and hopefully, turn it into something that
is mind-blowing.
He contacted me about coaching.
He mentioned that he's going to be doing his 100th Ironman.
The people that I coach, I tell them, The only bad race is one where
you don't learn something from it.
There will be a thousand moments where you don't know if you can do it.
And you get your mind to be quiet, and you realize, You know what?
Those challenges will become the moments that enrich your life the most.
Reaching this 100th Ironman means many things to me.
One being, I'm finding my true self.
I'm expressing my true self.
If you benefit from my true self, great.
If you hate me for doing that, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Not my problem. What am I trying to say?
Why am I doing 100 Ironman? What's the point?
A lot of it is I just want to be heard and understood and not beat up from it.
It got asked me, How do you know when you have sobriety, conquered
or addiction, conquered?
And I said, When you die of natural causes.
There's your answer. You did it.
Congratulations. You just can't talk about it.
But everybody else will see it.
That's when you know you've won.
Until then, you haven't won shit.
You're just in the battle like everybody else.
I am truly amazed at the human being that he is and the soul that he is,
because he truly is this bright star in everything.
Pain is in the darkness.
It is a beacon in the night.
I see it in people.
And to watch him be, have death threats, be having
to go through this on a daily basis It's like, how much can one
person possibly fucking take?
It makes me feel like I'm going through that myself.
Yeah, I'm tired of being hurt for things that I don't think I should be hurt for.
It's a never-ending journey of self-betterment.
I'll take all that hardship to know that what I'm doing is helping
somebody else who feels like I do.
I'll be there for that type of person anytime.
That's a call I'd take during the Ironman.
I'd actually stop during the Ironman to talk to somebody who feels like that.
That struck a chord.
Because that's the real me.
I would get off my bike and go, What do you need, dude?
I would.
I'd be like, Fuck that race.
And if people would just allow that and Stop fucking with me.
I could do more.
Basically, for 30 years, I had no sense of self-worth.
My trauma was no one saw worth in me. I was always beaten.
I was always thrown out.
No one cared about me.
Those are the feelings of self-worth that I developed, that
no one else cares about me. I don't care about me.
It's not that I decided to get sober.
I stopped using drugs and didn't see a reason to go on.
I tried killing myself.
I'm grateful, thankful that it didn't work.
For the first time in 30 years, I see that I am a loving,
capable, caring person.
And damn it, look at the people around me.
You all care about me, too.
And that's new for me.
I can say I love myself, that I'm taking positive steps towards a better future.
Everything is just progress at this point.
It may not be happening as fast as I think it should be happening,
but it's happening. I see it daily.
I see the growth. I see the changes.
I feel better.
I'm thinking clearly.
I've been high since I was 13 years old.
Just so I didn't have to face who I was.
I'm somebody that's got something to prove now.
I don't believe we ever get over or never think about some of the horrible things
that I've heard you awesome people survive.
However, I do believe that when you stop the self-destruction to cope with those
awful things, you give yourself a daily opportunity to heal in whatever version
that you feel that healing is, looks like, and does.
So the notion that you don't have to deal with that stuff, that's not what we do.
That's why people constantly go back is because they're not dealing with that.
So I want to make it crystal clear, Racing for Recovery is wholeheartedly
about understanding the impact of trauma, whatever trauma is to you.
What trauma is to you may not be trauma to somebody else.
That's okay.
This is not a pissing contest.
It's understanding the hearts and the emotions behind it.
You show me somebody who is using drugs, I'll show you somebody that
certainly doesn't like themselves themselves most likely
despises themselves.
And that was my case for sure.
The history of my substance abuse really started with not feeling
good as a kid, emotionally. I just didn't feel right.
I Never felt good enough.
Didn't feel like I belonged.
Knew I wasn't smart enough. Didn't think I was good-looking.
None of that.
I have no memories of my mom whatsoever.
She didn't have an accident.
She chose to kill herself.
She had said to this guy, If you were going to kill yourself,
how would you do it?
And the guy said, I'd drive myself head-on into a cement on that wall.
And the next day, she went out and did it.
When that bond is severed between a parent and a child early on, it's catastrophic.
My first love was hockey.
I played goalie because I wanted everything to be on my shoulders.
I went to the rink like, This is what I do,
and this is how I cope with how I'm really feeling on the inside, and I'm
going to get something out of this.
I loved it.
My choice to start drinking at 13 was the initial thing that I was throwing it away.
I remember taking that first drink.
It wasn't to fit in.
It wasn't pure pressure. I was curious of what it tasted like.
It tasted like crap, but instantly I'm like, I know I'm going down this road.
That was it.
Every time I put a substance in me, it was full on.
I never went out to I have a couple beers with the guys.
I wasn't drinking to have fun.
I was drinking to not wake up the next day.
I had the audacity to think that it was okay to do cocaine on a school
bus going to a hockey game.
I was that kid, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
I didn't get caught.
I got told on and believed by authority, which removed me from their institution.
At the height of my addiction, it was all the same crap,
anything I could get my hands on.
A quarter ounce of cocaine over a weekend, drinking two-fifths of whiskey a day.
I went into a carryout, and it opened at 10: 00, literally
pounding on the door going, It's 10: 00.
Open the effing door.
Surprisingly, the guy opened it and I'm like, I'm sorry, man.
I need this.
Not I want this.
I needed it just to calm down.
Even talking about this, I don't like it, but I guess it's relative because it's
the amount of depravedy that I was into back then
and the volume that I was doing is applicable to the volume
I'm doing sobriety. It's the same thing.
Full on.
So how did you end up getting sober?
I got arrested for my third drunk driving charge.
I stopped for two reasons.
A, I was done with that, and B, I was going to get something out of life.
I've never touched it again, never went to detox, quit cold turkey.
So I gave myself an opportunity to live.
And through that has led to Racing for Recovery, which
I've been fortunate enough to surround myself with people that are better than me
to make this program better than I thought it could be.
Not because of what I do, because what I I have other
people who are better than me do.
Racing was the first rehab that I walked into on my own wanting to get help,
not told that I need to go get help.
Nobody is going to do this for you.
Racing for Recovery isn't going to do it for you.
You have to want it.
I love the simple fact that I can be a living,
breathing example to the clients coming to the store that with sobriety,
anything is possible.
I found so much comfort in being here and giving back
and showcasing a talent that I have.
I like putting out good food because I know when I sit down,
how it makes me feel when somebody puts together an awesome meal and actually
takes the time and puts the love into it.
It's a big deal to me.
There's a lot of things out there to say, It's vegan in the grocery store.
It's not healthy.
I go No more of the whole food plant-based way of eating.
Learning how to cook all over again with different ingredients and stuff,
it's been very therapeutic.
I think everybody should be vegan.
You're either living right and eating right or you're not.
That's not my opinion. It's a fact.
Why am I such a valuable resource on everything except
when it comes to food?
I'm a brilliant individual until the topic of food comes up, and then I'm an idiot.
I'm going to read now from Do No Harm, my pet pig, Milo, on the front, which he's
making his movie debut here at some point.
Which number book is this?
This is my fourth book.
One of the things vegans hear all the time from non-vegans is
the very insipid, quote, animal lover, end quote, excuse.
But Todd, I'm an animal lover.
I have two dogs, and I also love cats.
Yeah, I've heard it a million times.
I do love animals, and maybe you do, too.
The question is, how do you love them?
Alive or dead?
On your plate or in the form of fashionable belt?
This whole book is just full of stuff like this.
You want me to put some facts in here, too?
I mean, yeah, whatever commentary you want to add.
Yeah.
Here's a fun fact for people who have been affected by by breast cancer, which has
taken the lives of many, many, many individuals.
A woman has one serving a day.
She is 50 % more likely to die of breast cancer than someone who does
not consume dairy products.
That's something that really hits home because we are raping cows.
How do you think they get impregnated?
They're out there having sex in a field with a bunch of horny cows?
No, they are manipulated, holes put in their sides of their stomach and
people ingesting whatever pregnancy stuff to get them pregnant.
They don't want that. That's rape.
But yet People are just literally clueless as to what's going on.
The top 10 things that kill people every day, they are all from what
people eat, but nobody cares.
It's It's huge. It is.
I can't wait. It goes from that.
That's the vacation home. Yeah.
His starter house. Yeah.
That was an investment.
Milo needed a place to live other than I mean, this is what he had when he first
got out here, this little shed, which is nice, but he needed a bigger house.
He's a bougey pig. He needs a big place.
So I bought him that.
He lived in our house.
He had his own bedroom, his own bed.
So he had it pretty good. He didn't know any better.
And we had cats and dogs.
But he needs this type of environment out here, which is great.
We had a neighbor.
He filed this thing with the city of Simeonia.
They got a pig, you got to get them out.
So we battle the year.
We reached out to the zoning Department.
The planning manager says the ordinance doesn't differentiate between farm
livestock and nontraditional pets, and this is a gray area.
He says at this point, the Crandall family can appeal
to the zoning board, which would buy them more time.
He is a domesticated emotional support soul.
Meantime, Todd is working with an attorney and has support from more than 25,000
people worldwide through an online petition.
What does Todd Crandall eat on turkey?
So I'm going to speak freely on this.
I love the vibe of Thanksgiving, but the traditions of it are complete bull crap.
How can you sit around a table and give thanks when you've got a dead turkey
that some genius thought it was a great idea to stuff a loaf of bread in its ass
and then eat ass bread out of something that was murdered?
And we're thankful for that. That just is...
I'm sorry. That is insane.
Insane.
Right there.
How do you like your new house, dude?
Huh?
Sit. Can you sit for me?
Sit.
Sit down. Sit.
A person could live in that thing and be comfortable.
I mean, I lived in my car, so I would sleep in that thing.
You know what I'm saying?
He's lunched at a couple of people, and they were like, What's up with your pig?
And I'm like, Quit eating bacon, dude.
Come on.
Mario, come on.
Here. I'm trying to do what I know is right.
Yeah, see, he'll run.
Good boy.
And I know what I'm doing is right.
I know what Racing for Recovery does is right.
And if somebody doesn't like it, it's not my problem.
That took me a long time to accept that.
I have many faults, I admit them, but Racing for Recovery has done a lot
of good for 22 years, and some of that stuff is just a little ridiculous.
I did addiction as much as I do recovery, full-on.
I don't do anything half-assed, nothing.
So I've taken that level of self-destruction,
and I've just turned it into a tank of self-betterment, not only for me,
but for the betterment of mankind.
It's really important to make sure that this is enhancing your overall life.
They have their personal purpose of why they want to cross that finish line.
It's ringing with challenge.
It's dripping with potential setback.
It's going to test you.
One could look at me now and they see the stuff, maybe what I drive,
what I wear, where I go, Leeds getting a hamburger out there
and sitting out there all the time.
Met Duff and the Cagans and Guns of Roses in the LA Delta Club one time.
I met him before, so he sat right next to me.
I'm like, Duff, what's up?
We are now boarding first-class passengers.
Yeah, it's just an easier way to travel.
Everything that I've done seems to rattle cages, who I meet, what I do.
And that used to bother me, now I love it.
Because if I'm rattling your cage, Take a look in the mirror and try
and figure out why I'm rambling your cage because I'm not really trying to.
Kadeichi Lawrence has more.
Todd Crandall is one of the hundreds of athletes registering for the 70.
3-mile triathlon race in Augusta Sunday.
It would be his 98th race.
I'm not out there competing against people.
I really don't care about my finishing time.
As long as I cross the finish line, I'm a winner.
Training for Ironman, Ohio this year, that'll be in July.
I am a bit nervous.
Staying calm, Race Day morning will be my biggest task.
Don't be flat.
When you're turning, your body, it's like your head's on a scribble.
Yeah.
Right? I used to do that, too.
It's just flat, choppy.
It's a glide.
You know It's just a gliding.
The energy conservation, too. Oh, yeah.
Everybody asks themselves while they're training for one of these is,
Why the heck am I doing this?
For me, it's just pushing myself beyond what I ever thought I'd be able to do.
I never could stick with anything in the past, so sticking with something
and being consistent in it means everything to me now.
That's been the reason I'm doing Ohio this year is because Shane's doing
it, and I want to be a part of him doing it.
I don't even know what number it will be for me at that point.
I don't care about that.
It'll be his first, and I'm going to be like, I was there.
Coming from addiction and self-destructive behavior, doing something like this,
which is, I think, the purest form of love I can
give my body, doing all these things to prevent going
back to anything that would ever damage my body again.
When I was using, I felt like I was trying to attain something that I couldn't.
I mean, it started out as smoking pot, drinking beer.
Turned into opiates, and then that turned into heroin, and then
eventually crack cocaine with the heroin.
And that was about a six-year opiate addiction, and
then things really started to go downhill.
This last time and final time, I had a DUI.
My parents got called because I didn't show up to court in cars in their name.
My mom called me, I remember, and asked me,
and I told her I was actively using, and she saved my life that day.
So your mom saved your life.
Yeah.
Coming in, I was honest with myself about what I needed, where I was at,
and Racing for Recovery provided me the time that I needed to
put in some real work with myself.
Do you think it's problematic that Racing for Recovery hires past clients,
or do you think that's a strength?
I believe it's a strength.
I mean, who better to to help you utilize the program,
and then someone went through it.
Of course, I want to start part-time.
Just get my foot in the door, get grounded.
It may seem like a small step, but it's a big step for me.
Just getting back.
It's like getting back into the world.
Does it keep me woke at night?
Does it take me away from concentrating on what IOP is talking about?
It doesn't.
So again, if you put effort, no matter how small the steps are,
you put an effort, you stay focused.
If you ask for help, knowing that you need help,
you can get it.
I think there has to be a turning point for everyone where it's internal that
gives you the drive to actually change things in your life,
realizing the fact that I don't want this anymore, and I want better for myself.
I remember my dad asking me, Are you ever going to make any money at this?
You got four kids to feed, and I said, Someday I will.
Right now, no, but someday I will.
This was started in a closet.
We had three phone lines in my house at the time, a personal phone a business
phone, and a hardline fax machine.
When the Racing for Recovery Line rang, I was excited.
When the Personal Line rang, I didn't even care if I answered it,
except when Duff McKagan called me from Guns & Roses.
That was cool.
But it was a lot of worry, a lot of anxiety, sometimes some depression.
I was running this again out of my closet, driving over to a church,
setting up tables every Thursday night, taking it down, putting the stuff back
in my car, driving it back home, putting it in the garage.
Fifteen years of doing that for free.
We were on government assistance.
We were on Medicaid.
Build my Dread it up, lost it, filed for bankruptcy,
started over again, all of it to keep Racing for Recovery going.
Filing paperwork to sign over the foreclosure of your house, that's rough.
But I'm like, take it.
It's just a house. It's just a thing.
These materialistic things that I lost along the way, I was like, so what, man?
I mean, yeah, it sucks or whatever, but it's just a thing.
I was looking for that internal satisfaction of what I'm doing
and having to pay off, and it has.
So that's another thing when people say, Todd's all about money or whatever.
I'm like, Hey, dude, I effing earned this, man.
So what if I'm making money right now? Go out and make your own.
I can't stand freeloaders.
I got quite a few of them who have been in and out of my life riding my coattails
of what I've earned as they're slandering me along the way.
I know who did what they did to me along this journey.
And look who's sitting here talking about it.
Not you, me.
So take that and put it somewhere that most people aren't going to see, dude,
because I'm still here and you ain't.
All right, let's do it.
To take this thing a closet to get an opportunity to have this building,
that felt amazing.
I knew the day I started this that it was going to be massive.
I basically had 90% of the vision of what this is just by walking through it.
Our look of this building is unlike no other out there, and people love it.
There's posters of success all over this place.
I don't need anybody to tell me they think I'm awesome.
That's nice, like I said before, but I don't come in here looking for that.
It's just like a tension breaker, a relationship builder.
That's why that stuff's up there.
We've had a mindset of having this place be, we call it show ready.
Anybody who walks to the door at any time, they're going to see it looking.
It's like we don't run a broom before everybody comes in to clean it.
It's all the time.
I am not the smartest man in the world, but I am brilliant in putting people
around me that are better than me, that can help take what's in my heart
and soul and make it better than I ever envisioned.
Is that it? That's it.
Wow. My part of the pain was, yeah.
Yeah.
This deserves a round of applause, guys.
Start up a good friendship, and hopefully a good partnership for years to come.
Absolutely. Thank you so much.
I appreciate it. All good.
Thank you, everybody.
We own this thing.
We own it.
We had no money, and look what we got.
That's a testament of itself.
This is what I've tried to show you guys with this, despite everything we've lost,
which sucks.
You want to do something and you work your ass off, you can fucking
do anything you want.
Anything.
So this is a big day.
99 Ironman's here in Boulder.
I love the emotions that I feel because of the physical pushing that I do on my body.
It's a great rush.
If you can find comfort in that, agony and physical pain, that says something.
I don't feel pressure to do it.
I feel relief It's like, I only have to do one more
of these things, and then I can chill out.
Hundreds of athletes competed in the Ironman race in Boulder this morning.
It is an impressive event, but even more impressive than that race
are the people taking in our heart.
Dapper 7's Christian Lopes introduces us to one competitor making
an important milestone today.
Todd Crandall says this event helped him overcome years of family trauma.
I come from a 13-year addiction to drugs and alcohol.
I got sober in April of 1993 after receiving my third drunk driving charge.
Life is about service to other people in need, and that's what we're here to do.
Crandall says he'll compete in his 100th Ironman race in Hawaii this October.
Reporting in Boulder, I'm Christian Lopez, Denver 7.
I don't know, man.
It's hard.
This is the hardest part about it.
Hakee, I look at the boats.
Can I swim to a boat and stuff?
It's like, Okay, then go to the next one.
I've been at several Ironman's where multiple people have died.
I think a lot of people maybe get into this before they really should.
Definitely that swim, people start off too hard.
They lose their breath.
They start to panic, and that's where I think a lot of people drown.
My daughters were with me at Ironman, Wisconsin, a couple of years ago,
and two dads died during the swim.
And they were pulling people out, and she's, Is that my dad?
Damn, I wasn't expecting that.
When I look at it from that perspective, it freaks me out a little bit,
and then I use it as motivation.
Todd had some anxiety lady about the swim.
If you're focused on one aspect of the mechanics of the stroke, there's
no space in your brain to be afraid.
The mantra for you to say to yourself all day out in the water is,
The ocean is my friend.
It's just the, Hey, you could die out here.
You know what?
I could die walking across the street.
I could die having a heart attack right now.
If I die an Ironman, have the news cover it, promote
racing for recovery, and we're good.
I'm not going to live in fear, but yeah, people die.
Do you ever worry about Todd dying during an Ironman?
Never.
What about when he's about to do the swim portion?
Do you ever worry about it?
I never worry that something's going to happen to him.
That's my job, take care of him to make sure that that doesn't
I make sure that his energy field is set up.
We've got everything prepared the day before the race.
Anything really that makes his life easier.
It's really cool to be in tune to someone that much,
where a lot of times, she will have things ready for me before
I even know that I need them for myself.
And that's really what the relationship started out at, is How
can I take your pain away?
When we go on out to Ironman's and take trips, I do the flight schedules, hotels,
anything that he needs.
I have to say I'm pretty in tune to him, probably more so than anybody
I've ever been in my life.
I think most people would probably say enough is enough.
I would never tell him that that's too much or you're done doing them because
I think if it makes him happy and he's working out whatever poisons need to be
worked out of there, then that's a positive thing.
Frankly, I'm in awe of how he handles stuff.
That's why I never fear that something bad is going to happen.
He works all that out in his head.
There's always a backup plan.
There's always a way to figure something out.
If something were to happen to him, how would you feel?
To tap into that feeling, I would be absolutely devastated.
Sorry. You're good.
There's a ton of motivational stories out there.
Someone overcame an adversity and they achieved something.
Great.
What did that do for humanity?
My story is not about I did coke and now I'm running Ironman.
That's a part of it.
The story is what I'm doing with Racing for Recovery and the success of that.
That's the story.
I'm not addicted to anything.
I am focused on a myriad of things that allow me to live
a balanced, holistic lifestyle that I enjoy living.
I'm not addicted to this.
When it's causing pain to other people, that's a problem.
When it's helping other people, keep doing that.
Empathy, humility, and gratitude.
I'm empathetic to somebody that sees that and is jealous of it.
And that's a lot of what this is.
There's a lot of jealousy.
I'm like, Dude, why are you jealous?
What's wrong? What do you need?
How do I help you?
Because I've done the same thing.
I earned this, man.
I'm not trying to prove anything, I don't think.
I'm trying to show what can be done.
When you look around and you see where you're at, you're in this incredible
place that was created by volcanoes.
It's vast and it's powerful, and you can feel the spirit of the island
just coming out of everything different than any other place that you'll
ever compete, any other place that you'll ever be on this planet.
And that's what makes it amazing.
When I land, I give thanks to the island for even being here.
When it's hard and hot, windy and all that, I'm like,
I'm grateful to experience all this physical pain right now because it's
the spiritual reward at the end that all the physical suffering,
if you will, is worth it.
But then when you put it into perspective, there's so much needless suffering
that goes on in the world A suffering of an Ironman is nothing.
I'm getting really shocked up, dude.
This sucks.
This is so hard.
I think one of the biggest pieces for Todd's 100th is what will be beyond that.
What lessons has he learned through this journey?
Every single one of those finishes he earned is, of Of course,
you have your support team.
They allow you to get to the start line, but it's you that gets
you to that finish line.
We'll look at it kindly.
Todd Grandle, doing his one That was 23
years of doing triathlon that led
to one 30-second euphoric feeling.
You are It was awesome.
Totally awesome.
It was everything and then some that I thought it was going to be.
That's another reason why I don't want to do it again is because it
won't capture that same feeling.
So what's the point in doing that?
I've done 106 Ironman since 1999.
I've had some of these for a number of years.
World Championship one from St.
George that I wore.
How I look translate into how I feel.
This one I'm wearing at Penn State.
I got a photographer coming out.
I know she's going to be taking some pictures.
I've I've never had a red one.
I got a magenta bike I'm riding.
So already I'm visualizing what the pictures are going to look like.
And those are the things that help me carry on.
Next year, I want to do a thing where I'm doing a certain number
on X number of continents.
I want to make it where I'm going to a town, doing a talk at a school,
having a vegan meal somewhere, marketing the book, meeting some...
Whatever.
So the hook of, Hey, I used to be a a drug user, and now
I'm doing my 106th Ironman or whatever.
That's what started this whole thing.
So the little fears I was speaking about earlier, I've had them fears all my life.
Not that I want to blame anything on traumas and circumstances
and environment, but them things actually had a lot to do with why I became
the person I did, why I started thinking the way I did at a young age.
And I I didn't know to put any of that together throughout my whole life.
Some pretty not good stuff happened to me at a young age, and it set
my mind to thinking differently.
And then the household I grew up in with an abusive father,
that also had my mind set in a state of fear and unsure about
everything and anything.
And so I had to create and figure out ways to be happy and smile and not
think about those things.
And it really wasn't my fault that it got started like that,
but it was my fault at some point why I continued to make I had choices off
the old mindset and the ways that I thought to protect myself and survive.
This place here has helped me look at all that in a new life and place it where
it's categorically better in my mind, and I'm fighting them fierce.
And I ain't doing it by myself.
There's plenty of people around that help.
The positive power around here.
Every day getting healthier with working out and every day being involved
in things that are good. The band.
And I've been told quite a few times since I've been here, things I've
said have helped people.
I never, ever saw that coming. Never saw it coming.
And so I can't hide behind my fears and I can't entertain any negative thoughts
because if I do that, then I'm just going to start killing
my self-worth again, and I'll be back out there again.
I might be where I don't want to be.
I want to live today, and that's why I'm staying alive today.
What percentage of clients actually maintain sobriety?
I would say 25%.
I think the wanting it and actually doing it are two different things.
I feel it. I feel for them.
But I believe if I let it affect me more than just that, I wouldn't be
able to help the next person.
Yeah, There have been a few people that I've watched go through the program
and leave right when you think they're making a breakthrough,
and that's right when I think that they want to exit the program.
There might be something so deep in there that they aren't ready to tackle that.
I don't use the word failure.
I use the word not succeed yet.
And every time someone doesn't quite make it,
either permanently or they just haven't made it yet, it reminds me of how
grateful I am to have what I have.
You read about people dying that were coming through here and stuff.
It breaks your heart, really, because it's like you couldn't reach them
enough to make them want to better their life.
Does that make you question the program's approach or your own approach?
Not at all.
No, because I know what it did for me.
I know what it did for all kinds of staff that work here,
and we all got something in common.
We wanted to change.
We wanted a different way of living life, and we found it.
What Racing for Recovery did for me was they actually believed in me
until I started believing in myself.
She's One of the things that make her happy.
By getting her GED, she worked at gas stations her whole life.
She's not just content where she's at.
She wants to keep going.
What can I accomplish next?
Samantha Wauw.
The
process I started, and then my mom ended
up passing away, and I got depressed, so that lost motivation.
And then I finally was like, No, I need to finish this.
And I followed my dream.
And it means a lot to have all of you guys here with me.
There's two people missing, but I know they're here in my heart.
It means a lot. Your mom's proud of you.
She's looking down on you.
I was there with you all the time. You know what it was.
I see.
Five years ago from living on the side of the freeway in California to doing this.
This is what it's all about.
She did this all on her own.
Motivation, now she's a CDCA holder.
I went to only two GED classes, and I did I'm going to rest on my phone.
My phone is crack screen, but that is dedication.
I'd be trying to sleep.
There she is, studying.
I never was like, Oh, go for it.
That's what it takes. Sleeped it.
What are you guys doing? Come get over here.
Oh, you're family.
You don't do what you do in a happy call family.
You think you ain't family. You and Julie both are family.
You're proud of me, so you're crying.
I love you, baby.
I It's going to sound lame, but there are sometimes...
My mom has Facebook.
And the day that I graduated, I messaged her and told her how good
I'm doing, and I know she'd be proud.
A little anxious, a lot of people here, but we'll get in the water
and it's go time from there.
The last race, I started writing something on my hands so I can look at it.
Today, I got breathe for the swim, grind for the bike, and my mother
because she's here for this race, so that's real special to me.
I am looking forward to a relaxing swim.
I'm looking forward to a non-windy bike in a very hot run, and I hope to hook up
with Josh and Shane so all three of us can cross the finish line together.
That'd be pretty cool.
So it seems like all the way up until you get in the water,
that seems like it takes forever.
The hardest part for me is usually the swim.
There is some anxiety, but my drive is off the hook, and I do it every time.
And then as soon as that gun fires, It's like you punched your time card.
There's people by, your goggles are fogging up, can't see where you're going.
The immediate thing is, I'm going to drown.
It's a fight or flight.
And then I have to remind myself to slow down because I'm probably starting
at a pace that I can't keep throughout the whole course.
You can never show up here and have it be unicorns and rainbows.
It's like this is a real human experience. It's a raw experience.
Is.
I think on a personal level, it's going to help me set
new goals for myself and hopefully be able to give that back to clients, too.
He tells everyone, My only goal is to complete
to complete the swim, complete the bike, complete the run,
and cross the finish line.
There were plenty of times during training that I I'd want to give up.
But just to keep going and showing myself that you can get through a lot.
That achievement alone was pretty important to me.
It's so big that it's hard to take a step back and look at it sometimes.
But I do have those moments where I'm able to look at how far I've come.
But other than that, it's usually just what's next.
And that's what he wants to do in life is be a winner.
He's practicing that every day in his sobriety, in his physical fitness,
in his employment through Racing for Recovery.
And he's trying to share back what's been shared with him, and I'm
very proud of him for that.
For me, watching somebody go from addict to Ironman, it's awesome.
What I truly enjoy is when they apply that physical Ironman finish And then
on to the next one of self-improvement, spirituality, family.
That's really what the Ironman is about.
Taking somebody that literally has come in here with a trash bag full of clothes
and then watch them like themselves, not use drugs, getting
engaged with their family, it's amazing.
Having gone through 16 years or so of substance abuse, self-destructive
behaviors, I think it's amazing, right?
I don't put on a costume every day to pretend to be somebody.
I am that guy.
Every time we come in for an Ironman, this is my job.
I get to lay out all of these sunnies and create a little vibe for Todd.
All All of these get polished, so they look the best in photos.
It makes him feel good.
Do you think that's unusual?
Do I? No, not at all.
No? I don't think it's unusual at all.
I think it's part of setting the vibe and making him feel good.
It's part of the presentation, right?
You want to dress for success.
You want to dress for what makes you happy.
When you get dressed and you put the outfit on and you feel your best
and you look your best, you're going to do your best.
You just have that ritual.
I come in in every, whether it be a hotel or an Airbnb, and make it a home.
Sometimes there's just days where he's having a rough go around
and the anxiety sets in.
I think sometimes I just have a knack of knowing what he needs before he needs it.
It's a little bit of that OCD that kicks in every once in a while.
It comes in handy.
I mean, I think that's probably why I enjoy those tedious tasks of polishing
the oak leaves and the little attention to detail.
And that I'll hang up downstairs Of
course.
Everything
that I do in the morning is for me
initially, but I know other people are going to get
the best version of me to help them.
And that's my purpose.
But it's not to get up and motivate people.
I could do that from the couch.
I will do something to maintain the mindset that I crave every day,
whatever that is.
I'm not trying to create more versions of me.
I'm trying to take what I do that has been proven to work and have somebody utilize
that wellness for their own wellness.
That's a different ball game.
That's what makes me freaking awesome at what I do in service of people.
I know this shit. I didn't read it in a textbook.
That's why those kids connect to me.
So here's where my whole thing begins, really.
And ironically, Saturday, when I'm doing my 111th Ironman,
53 years ago to the day, my real mom committed suicide from drugs and alcohol.
Her killing herself, I never grew up going, oh, my God, my mom killed herself.
Poor me. I'm going to end up doing coke.
That's not my mindset.
I didn't even know her.
I have no memories of her.
But as a 56-year-old man, who is a licensed counselor
working with people who have endured trauma,
I can look back and look at myself as that three-year-old kid and go,
how did that kid really feel?
So if you've gone through...
Your parents have gotten divorced, You've unfortunately been physically
assaulted or, God forbid, sexually or shit has happened to you,
that's where I believe a choice to use drugs starts.
When you're snorting a line or whatever, you're drinking whatever,
We're all going, Man, my life sucks.
I wish I could do this.
I should have done that.
That talk is going to get you nowhere.
If you put this stuff down, and that includes criminal activity or
whatever you guys are doing, when When that stops,
as I said earlier, you just gave yourself a key to do whatever you want.
One decision to quit doing drugs and look what it's doing for people,
that's pretty fun.
And you guys can do something like that in your own way.
Makes sense?
Ask me some questions. I'm done talking.
I mean, it's an opportunity to get information.
Help me with my recovery.
I haven't completed a lot of things in my life, and everything that I do,
that I do complete, it's like, All right, I did this.
I did the work. It builds self-esteem.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I used to run a lot, but hearing about you doing all these
Ironman and all that made me want to start running again.
So I was going to ask you, what should my process be to eventually do
half marathons, then marathons, and then move up with recovery and all that?
As you said that, I immediately started looking at shoes, and I'm like,
why wouldn't run in those?
So I would get some shoes and then look up proper training programs.
Go to a running store, get properly fit.
If you need help, I'll help with that. Start running.
And then when you want to get into this or whatever, I'll show you.
One thing I want those kids to get out of it is they are of value.
What they were doing is not who they are, and what they will become come
is what they're destined to do.
I speak with my heart before I think a lot.
And yesterday, I'm like, I don't know what you guys are doing tomorrow.
I'd go running with some people tomorrow.
And I wasn't thinking of, I just did an Ironman three days ago.
I'm still tired.
But they showed up, and I'm like, Let's go.
It was awesome running with those guys today.
I feel like it's just a different way of life a different way of living,
the morals that you stand on.
A lot of them make you be a better person and continue to be
a better person day by day.
And that is something that I want to do.
I don't want to be a bad guy, do the same stuff over and over again.
He showed up till he had brand new shoes on.
And I asked him about them.
I said, Hey, did you have those?
And he said, I got them yesterday after the talk, which I was like, wow.
Running is something that I want to do.
I feel like what's the better chance to do it with Todd?
I stress that the bad is over and the good is coming as long as you don't
use drugs or hurt yourself.
I don't want to be admired.
I just want to be an example of what can be.
Do you ever contemplate suicide?
I can't even count how many times I've thought of that.
I wouldn't even I'd say for 53 years, I've probably felt
that in some capacity for over half.
I mean, it's over 50 %.
Has it been really bad?
I'd say 25 % of that time.
Has it been even worse than that,
getting where you're taking your
research and your plan and your
My next question
is, why didn't you follow through with it?
I can't.
Is it because you feel like your work isn't done yet?
No.
I can't because I
can't do that to other people. Sure.
Because I'm not giving it to anybody that said, See, I knew he wouldn't make it.
Fuck you.
Massive storm hitting the East East Coast and severe weather slamming
the center of the country.
Tropical storm Ophelia churned up the East Coast.
Ophelia first made landfall in North Carolina early Saturday,
bringing 70-mile-per-hour winds and coastal flooding,
the slow moving storm drenching the I-95 corridor, and more rain as expected
from New York City to Boston on Monday, making for a rough morning commute.
This stuff with my mom, I'm always very stoic about it.
I've been defiant about it.
I've been angry about it, but I've never really broken down and just
acknowledged that hurt that I have.
I used to look at it in anger of what she did that in the frustration
and questioning why she did that.
Then through my addiction, I understood why she did that.
And through 30 years of being sober, I'm really trying to embrace
what that did to me as a kid, how it carried over as a man,
and the potential I have to continuously heal to do good with it.
And the time is We're seating right now here at Jones Beach.
But when the water levels increase later today, that's when authorities are warning
residents to look out for more coastal flooding.
And as we continue to see the-For me, this has been about, look what
her death has done for people.
If the roles were reversed and I looked down
on my kids doing something like this, I'd be...
I'd make...
I'd be proud of them.
I want to be remembered as somebody that gave everything that they had to make
something work that was bigger than them.
It hasn't come without a lot of loss.
Some of that loss has been very difficult, but I think that loss had to occur so I
could truly embrace what my life's purpose is.
People ask me all, How do you do those things?
This is a part of it.
You do one, you take care of your body.
These are compression boots that just circulate compression cycles
on my legs to heal up and do it again.
In two weeks, do I have it again?
Oh my God, I got another one in two freaking weeks.
Jesus.