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I'm going to talk. Is that all right?
Are you able to listen if I talk?
Because if you can't, then don't.
That's fine. It doesn't really matter that much anyway,
it all happened so long ago.
And so much else was going on around the world, of course,
but that summer, my gay best friend from college,
Terry Goon, was getting a divorce.
His husband, Leo, had found newer, better love elsewhere
and was encouraging my friend to do the same.
Unfortunately, Terry wasn't really in a good position
to pursue new love.
First of all, he had nowhere to live.
He happened to be staying at that time
in one of Leo's empty properties,
the one we called the "Party House,"
for reasons which are probably best left unspecified.
Now, I imagine Terry would have liked
to have been living somewhere else.
He probably would have liked to BE somebody else,
but he had no money and nowhere else to go
and was unfortunately very frightened of the virus.
Furthermore, and more importantly,
he had a nephew to take care of-- his sister's kid, Bahlul,
the 19-year-old male model from Morocco
with a badly broken leg.
He'd fallen off his scooter
that March, in the path of an oncoming ambulance.
Nobody died, thank God,
but he did get run over, and was very badly injured.
Now, he and Terry hadn't ever really spoken,
and they weren't close-- but as you might recall,
the hospitals back then were out of beds,
and Terry was his nearest living relative.
Taking him in was the right thing to do,
so Terry did it-- without telling Leo--
and in order that his nephew wouldn't find him weird,
or creepy,
my friend would have set about immediately
getting rid of every trace of his ex-husband
and the parties he had thrown in that house.
Fucking faggot...
God damn it! God--
Now, Terry wouldn't let us meet the model.
Ugh!
And he wouldn't send us any pictures,
which only made him more intriguing.
Who was he? - Bahlul?
That poor boy in the basement...
- Bahlul, may I enter? - Go ahead.
The, uh-- Ow!
The Internet is out again. You watching something?
- Just a DVD. - I'll be quick.
What kind of a DVD is it?
I found it in the player.
One of Leo's?
Is that bad?
I'm so sorry to barge in.
That poor boy must have been in so much pain.
I wanted to help. I am a trained professional.
But I was stuck in Greenpoint
with my partner, Vanessa Ravel,
a major lesbian and minor talent,
author of a minor work which paid for this apartment.
Since that work was based entirely on my life
and written in my voice without permission,
I believe it's only fair that I live here for free.
Of course, nothing's free. She's vegan.
Everything we eat is vegan.
Nothing's free.
But in the meantime, I get by, and do my best
to help her out around the house
while she struggles to write her follow-up.
Would you check it now?
Ugh.
Okay. Mask on. I'll go get her.
Ow! God damn it.
The Party House was really just a shit hole.
Leo always meant to flip it,
but it came in handy as a place to cheat on Terry.
Coco?
The Internet is out again. Come help.
Coco came with the building.
Please?
Thank you, Coco.
Leo? Hi, Hamadou.
Is he around?
Thank you.
Hi, Leo.
Yes, I have received the paperwork.
No, I have not signed them yet.
Because I need to read through them first.
Sean is your lawyer.
Hold on!
All clear! Leo, this is intolerable.
I'm trying to work.
I'm trying to GET work.
I did reboot. Coco, you can come down now.
Pull that up, please. Pull that up, please.
One second, Leo.
Hello? - Delivery for Terry Goon.
Stand by.
Wallet... Wallet...
Of course, it was no paradise, that Party House.
But it was free.
And free was all poor Terry could afford
with what he'd saved.
Hi. I couldn't find my wallet.
For you. - Oh. Thanks.
Be safe out there.
You, too.
Soon, Terry would be on the street
like everybody else, looking for work.
Which wasn't quite the outcome he'd envisioned
when he married Leo.
But he was employable.
I mean, he'd never had a job.
He'd had an internship right after college.
Then he married his boss...
Leo, I'm putting you on speaker.
...and quit.
But Leo didn't quit.
And there were other interns.
- Hot guy? - Who?
Delivery guy. Is he your type of guy?
Is he a hot guy? - I don't notice these things, Leo.
Well, what did he look like?
Did he have a nice ass? - You're such a fucking pig.
- You were so friendly. - I felt bad for him.
- What? - I felt bad for him.
- What? - I felt bad for him!
Well, if you love him so much, why don't you invite him in?
- Even if I wanted to, he's gone. - So chase him down.
Why don't you chase him down, Leo? Marry him next.
You know I would!
But Hamadou and I are in Berlin right now,
and we're having so much fucking fun.
- Oh, are you? - Baby, don't we love Berlin?
Oh yeah, ha ha, sorry, Terry.
- I'm on speaker? - Nein!
Take me off speaker, please.
- Hey, you put me on speaker. - I'm alone.
- Yeah, right. - I am alone, Leo.
You left me all alone.
You're not alone, you little freak.
When do I get to meet him? - Who?
- Your little boyfriend. - I'm not seeing the delivery boy.
Yeah, no shit. The other one.
- The other who? - The other one. The model.
The fashion model...? With the funny name? Balala?
Hello? Karla said you had a little brown kid in the basement
with a broken leg. When were you going to tell me, Terry?
Or did you forget we're married?
That's disgusting, Leo.
He's my nephew, and he's very badly injured.
I don't--
I didn't think you'd care.
He's not on Instagram.
- Should I go blond? - If you're gonna do it, do it.
We look too much alike.
- We don't. - Call from... Terry Goon.
- No. - Answer. Hi, Terry.
"Little brown kid"? I'm working.
- Go work in your room. - Am I on speaker?
What's that, Terry? Little what?
- Take me off speaker, please. - You're not on speaker.
Okay, Karla, did you say to Leo, of Bahlul, that he was
a, quote, "little brown kid in my basement"?
Who would say such a thing?
- You would. - Who's there?
- Hi, Terry. - I would never say
a thing like that. - Oh, was it your twin?
- I'm still on speaker? - And anyway,
isn't it kind of true? - Take me off speaker, please.
Terry, first of all, I never speak to Leo.
Okay, well, Leo said you said that I had, quote, "gone out
and found a little brown kid of my own and
stashed him in my basement." - Oh my God.
Stop it! Stop it! Both of you, give me a break here.
I am not offended, Karla. I just want to tell you
that's a very ugly thing for you to think, or say,
especially to Leo, who's excited now
and wants to meet him. - Terry, we all want to meet him!
Karla, I'm signing off. I have to feed Bahlul his dinner.
What's on fire?
Coco, what the hell? Mask, please.
For you. - But she fixed it.
Mask, Coco!
But she fixed it, Uncle Terry.
Coco fixed the Internet.
Thank you. Coco.
Say thank you, Coco.
Thank you, Coco. Out you go. Out you go.
Did she say anything weird about you being Muslim?
- No. - Good. Let's get you cleaned up.
First, Leo runs off with a kid named "Hamadou," a model,
and now Terry is living with another model named "Bahlul"
in Leo's house?
That's quite a rebound, don't you think?
-"Little brown kid"? - Hey, if I said it,
which I didn't, what should I have called them then,
according to you? What is the proper term?
It wouldn't have occurred to me to make that observation.
Oh, come on. Ha! Of course it would have.
- I'm going for a walk. - To where? To Jeannie's?
- I don't know. - Well, when you get
to Jeannie Koletzko's, why don't you tell her
that your girlfriend who was born a man says hi!
- Call from... Terry Goon. - Ignore.
- Hello? - Yeah, hi, Terry.
I'll go kill myself. Is that what everybody wants?
I'm not sleeping with him. He's my nephew.
Who said you were sleeping with him?
- You did. - Leo made that inference
because you hadn't told him anything.
So you had to tell him?
- I assumed he knew! - Well, now he does,
and he's excited. - Can you blame him?
What is so exciting about models?
First of all, they're very attractive.
He's my nephew, and he's very badly injured!
- That kid needs Axial Release. - No, Karla! We're isolating!
Come on, Terry, I can help!
I have to go ride the bike before bed.
Well, don't fall off.
I found a strange film down here in the basement.
Is that my mother?
Is that me?
Riding the boat with her to Uncle Terry's wedding?
Little Bahlul by her side, keeping his mother company?
She's only onscreen for a split second.
But the more times I watch it, the longer that second gets.
I see the whole day in that second.
Her whole life.
10 years before the wedding,
she had gone abroad to Amsterdam
to get away from everything she hated.
But she hated Amsterdam. And hated Brussels.
Hated Paris. Hated Nice.
Madrid, she tolerated.
Cordoba, she liked.
A man there said, why not go further south?
An hour's ferry ride across the strait,
and you'll be out of Europe on another continent
and in another world.
She didn't know a thing about Morocco or Tangier.
But she took his advice.
She liked him.
And before she knew it, she'd arrived.
She picked a man at random.
"Look," she said, "I want to see the world.
I'm trying to have an authentic experience.
I want to know if you can help me.
I can pay you. I'd be glad to pay you.
Just be sure to take me somewhere without any tourists."
He may not have understood exactly what she meant,
but he agreed.
That man, my father,
whom she would later marry and divorce.
But if it hadn't been him, she'd have found somebody else.
Vanessa? Apartment 2?
- Is it lamb on rice? - Yep.
You know, in Greece, we have a dish
that's very similar to this, but it's, um, not over rice.
It's actually over something else.
But I don't remember.
But it's Greek. And it's good. And it's Greek.
Like me. - Are you Greek?
Yeah. Can't you tell?
Sure, I can tell.
What about you? Where are you from?
I'm from Flushing.
No, where are you-- Where are you from?
You know what I mean. - Oh.
Where does it look like I'm from?
Here.
Yeah, I'm from Kabul.
Cool.
How am I supposed to get you back here?
Just keep ordering, I guess.
That shouldn't be too hard.
Hey.
Hey, can you please help me? Hey, can you please help me?
- Hey, what's up? - Can I please use your phone?
What do you need it for-- You need to make a call?
Yeah... No...
I'm-- I'm trying to watch something, man.
Sorry, brother. Good luck.
By mid-June, I still hadn't met the model.
Terry hadn't come to any protests.
Terry, don't be lame, okay? Put on a mask,
wake up the kid, and roll him down to City Hall.
What's happening at City Hall?
What's happening? We're occupying!
Don't you read the news?
- One second.
That's what I told him.
- Delivery. - Stand by.
Cake!
Thanks.
Back. - How is he?
Who?
- Delivery guy. - Why do you ask?
No reason.
God. You are such pig. Oh!
- Hey, I am not a pig, okay?
- One second. - You're the pig.
You're living in the Party House.
Hello Coco, I wish I didn't have to bother you like this,
but I need Internet, unfortunately, and it just keeps going out.
I don't know why. I don't know why.
Karla? Back.
Who was it this time? Bahlul?
- That's Coco. - Who's Coco?
The mentally ill woman who lives upstairs--
Oh! Oh!
- Uncle Terry! - Terry?
What happened? - Uncle Terry!
- Oh! - Are you all right?
- Uncle Terry? - Your neighbor try to kill you?
Is everything all right?
I'm just trying to water Coco's plants.
What's that?
Look! A rainbow!
Cool!
Terry, are you there?
What happened? - I slipped on chicken.
- You what? - I slipped on chicken.
I can't move. - Oh my God.
Did you re-herniate your back?
- Maybe. - All right, shut the fuck up.
I'm coming over. I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Lie down somewhere comfortable and elevate your legs.
Okay. Okay.
Why can't I come?
It's not a tea party, it's a house call.
Can I borrow that?
Go get arrested.
Coco, Coco, I don't care, just go away.
I threw my back out in the kitchen.
Don't help me.
My friend is coming over.
Buzz her in.
I can't move.
Mask!
Mama!
You don't know how badly I needed this.
Her first day in Tangier,
my mother had to scold her guide
for taking her to a museum.
"Look," she said,
"I'm trying to have an authentic experience."
Take a left on, uh...
"So no museums."
Take-- no, keep going down Fulton.
He took her to the souk.
Nothing but tourists at the souk.
"Tarek," she said,
"I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.
And I don't like that feeling."
Poor Tarek didn't know what else to do.
He took her to the masjid.
"And there," she told me,
"there at last,
I had it.
An authentic experience."
Thank you.
Excuse me. Is Terry in?
All right. Thank you.
Wait! Hold the door!
Got it. Thanks.
After she reverted, one of my mother's favorite topics
became the hedonism of the West.
"They're frivolous," she'd say.
"They're selfish.
Greedy. They're disloyal.
They have no community."
"No family. No friendship.
All they care about is shopping.
All they think about is sex."
There you go.
That's right. Here we go. Hold the core.
Center yourself. Good, good, good, good, good.
You're a natural. You're very good at this.
- What in the name of God? - Look who's awake.
- Hi, Uncle Terry. - Where's your mask?
Teenagers are immune.
- He's 20. - Not till 6 o'clock.
Bahlul, should you put on a shirt?
- Why? - Aren't you cold?
- No. - Strong chi.
Karla says my body wants to heal itself.
You want your lesson, Uncle Terry?
Thanks, I'm cured.
Okay, then. Shall we all go inside?
Uh-uh. Absolutely not.
I wasn't born abroad the way my mother would have liked.
I was born in New Jersey.
My father had requested they move back to the United States.
To protect me from the influence of my surroundings,
Mama never let me leave her side.
Release that.
Good.
Little Bahlul was sheltered,
smothered, and adored.
We never went into the city.
And we had no friends.
Mama couldn't get along with anyone.
Now put your hand here.
Not anyone American.
Good. Stand on your right leg.
Okay. Careful.
The trouble was that she was an American.
And I was an American.
And my father was gradually becoming an American.
And apart from getting more and more obnoxious...
Will you put this on the air conditioner to dry it out?
...there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.
Oh my God.
Ah-ah-ah-ah...
Do you drink, Bahlul? - No.
Why not? Religion?
I never got the taste for it.
Oh. Will it upset you if I drink?
Of course not.
Great. And you, Terry? Grappa for you?
I'm cutting back.
Uh-huh. There you go.
But how religious are you, though, Bahlul?
I mean, has Terry tried to talk you out of it?
Why would I do that?
Aren't you an anti-theist? Don't you hate religion?
Terry doesn't talk about religion.
- That is shocking. - Why is that shocking?
No reason,
I just thought it "poisoned everything."
There was a time in my life when I thought so.
Now, I just don't care.
Why did you then?
- We were at war. - With "terrorism."
Well, we were.
And are we now?
Now I just don't care.
You used to care so much. So much, Bahlul.
So much about terror, terrorism. - Karla...
The "threat of international terrorism
in our schools and airports." - Stop.
You will not believe what he said about me
back in college, Bahlul, who he said I looked like.
- Who, Terry? - Go on, tell him.
- No. - You're not going to tell him?
- Who? - Terry said,
that with my shirt off, I looked "just like
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed."
- You did. - What kind of a thing is that
to tell a woman, Bahlul!
I didn't know you were a woman.
How could a woman look so much
like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
with my hairy back and neck, right, Terry?
Wait. Who is Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?
He... orchestrated 9/11.
This guy?
That does not look like Karla.
You didn't know her then. She had all that going on.
- Mediterranean genetics. - How did you get rid of it?
I nuked it, baby. Shock and awe.
- I hate mine. - I can tell you where to go
to get it zapped off. - You're fine as you are.
Hey, didn't Leo pay for you to go get laser?
Laser doesn't work on blonds.
Leo used to like them slick and smooth back then,
like hard boiled eggs. Have you met Leo?
- Not yet. - He would love you, Bahlul.
Be careful. - You've met Leo.
- Did I? - You met Leo at our wedding.
Ah, the wedding.
The wedding on Fire Island with--
with your mom?
It's just so long ago.
Your mother didn't like the island.
Have you heard of "Fire Island" Bahlul?
It's a sort of... beach retreat
for the children of Sodom,
and Leo has a house there by the meat rack.
What can I say? I shouldn't have invited her.
It's 6 o'clock. You're 20. Time for cake.
You're so womanly, Karla.
Likewise.
I can't imagine you as Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
- Thank you. - He's crazy.
My mother didn't like the island.
That I do remember.
We should have left.
We didn't.
Hi, boys.
- Hi, boys. - Hi, boys.
And what I remember next is Mama leaping to her feet
before the vows and babbling as usual about Jahannam
and the brethren of Prophet Lut.
And I remember Terry's look of shock
and other people laughing.
And then suddenly, she slipped, and tumbled off the boardwalk.
She'd say, later, she was pushed.
One thing is certain. No one helped her up.
"My brother did nothing," she said.
"He said nothing.
He finished the ceremony."
And I remember feeling so embarrassed on that day
and wanting to forget the whole thing.
But Mama couldn't let it go.
♪ Happy birthday
♪ From Uncle Terry
- And me, Karla. - Happy birthday, Bahlul.
Happy birthday. - Thank you.
Welcome to your 20s.
- Bismillah. - Bismillah.
- Incredible.
Bahlul, eat something. It's your birthday.
Fine.
What, are you, anorexic?
- I don't think so.
Terry, the cake is very nice.
I thought all models were anorexic.
I guess I have a high metabolism.
- Me too. - Me too.
But, seriously,
let's say-- Who's another male model?
- Alton Mason. - What the fuck?
He's a male model. Leo's very into him.
You heard of this guy-- Alton Mason?
- Sure. - Okay, let's say
you're on a dinner date with Alton Mason.
Do you both pretend to eat, or... what do you do?
- He isn't gay. - Who? Alton Mason?
Bahlul isn't gay.
- You aren't? - He's religious.
- But you're gay, Bahlul. - Am I?
- He's rel-i-gious. - It's okay if you are.
- These categories... - Right. Kids today!
- There are gay Muslims, Terry. - Sure...
And where you're from, they throw you off the roof.
- Who? - ISIS.
There's no ISIS in Morocco.
Where is ISIS?
- Syria. - Iraq, I thought.
Iraq and Syria. They're neighbors.
Fine. But in the Middle East in general,
they throw you off the roof.
Morocco isn't in the Middle East.
Where is Kabul?
- Iraq. - Not Iraq.
- It's not the capital? - Not of Iraq.
Kabul is the capital of...?
- Syria. - Afghanistan.
- Oh. - Which, of course,
shares a border with Iraq.
- No. - With Iran, I mean,
where they make every gay guy get a sex change.
I don't know about that, Terry.
Don't you think Terry should have gotten a sex change?
- Shut up. - Sure. I see it.
Kissable lips. Womanly hips.
- Fuck you. - It's not a bad thing.
If only we could all live in Iran.
You would have made a pretty woman, Terry.
Now, sadly, it's too late.
Is it too late for Bahlul?
Of course not.
Would Bahlul make a pretty girl?
You're fine as you are.
Fuck, yeah. Do it, Bahlul. You'd pass.
And if not, you could wear a-- um, whatever. "Burqa."
First of all, it's not called "burqa."
It's "hijab." - Hijab is a head scarf.
- Niqab! Fuck! - What IS burqa?
Burqa's head to toe.
And burqa's Taliban. Afghanistan.
- Afghanistan, Kabul! - Where, frankly,
we might just as well be living now, with all the sirens,
and the helicopters and this chaos, and unrest--
Do you really think I'd make a pretty girl?
Fuck, yeah, Bahlul. Do it.
You could be a trans model.
Everybody fucking loves that shit.
I don't want to model anymore.
Why not?
I don't like being photographed.
Not everybody's trans!
Okay, then. Calm down, Terry. Jesus.
Go on. Be a woman.
And your mom is going to throw you off the roof,
then me, then blow herself up in the meat rack.
But you go ahead and be like everybody else--
a woman.
It's true. Mama wouldn't like it.
Oh, come on, she'd come around.
Who could resist this little face?
This little cute little face.
Did your mother come around?
She would have if I'd been as cute as you.
- But you're beautiful, Karla. - You hear that, Terry?
Did you always know you'd be beautiful?
In fact, I did not.
And nobody thought I would be.
"Beautiful"?
But you felt like a woman inside?
No. Nobody feels that way.
I wanted to kill myself,
and this sort of helped.
We all feel bad. That's life.
We live in hell. That's life! C'est la vie!
There are ways out of hell, Bahlul,
even if Terry didn't choose to take them.
Of course, you're not gay,
so you're not in the hell Terry's in,
which doesn't feel like hell at first
when everybody wants to fuck you,
but might later on, when it occurs to you
that all the sympathy and hospitality
and kindness ever shown to you
was really more like a proposition than a favor,
at which point you might begin to think,
"Hey, what happens to me when they don't want to fuck me?
What will I be then? Will I be nothing?"
But you won't be nothing.
You'll be something worse than nothing!
You'll be somebody they used to want to fuck,
right, Terry? - Are you done?
Because there is no loyalty in hell, Bahlul.
There is no solidarity, no family.
There's only daddies, uncles, cousins, twins, and sons.
And everything's a meat rack, everywhere's a cruising ground,
and, frankly, maybe they deserve to be thrown off the roof.
But in the meantime--
praise Allah-- there is a loophole.
It's called "women"!
Loving one, or being one,
and I did both,
now I live in society! Not pig society.
And you're welcome to join, Bahlul.
Only you shouldn't right away unless it's very urgent,
because you'd get too pretty too quickly,
and I'd be awfully jealous.
But you look terrific.
And anyway, it doesn't matter, 'cause you're not gay.
- And what about me? - You're very gay.
And don't I look terrific?
- Sure, Terry, you look terrific. - Yes, Terry.
Bullshit! I'm a fat whale!
People are starving all around the world.
- What is your point?
I think it's cute you're both a little fat.
You're not perfect. You're not models.
But you both have sweet, kind, honest, American faces.
- American? - I think it's sad
that, someday, everyone your age will all be dead
and there will be no more honest faces!
But, Bahlul, do you really think I look American?
Are you not American?
Is it American... to be Greek!
- You're Greek? - Half Greek.
Half Greek IS full Greek!
- I see it. - From Anatolia,
my mother's very dark. For all I know, we're Turkish.
You're not Turkish, cunt! You're barely Greek!
What would you know about it, little Scotty Bowers?
Bahlul, do I not look Middle Eastern?
Turkey isn't in the Middle East!
- Whatever! - That, I know for sure.
Okay. Me or Terry--
Who would blend in better in the Middle East,
whatever the fuck that is!
Karla, you're less white-looking,
if that's what you mean. - A-ha!
But neither of you would blend in.
Does your mom blend in?
Oh, no. Never. - Sounds about right.
I should go. It's curfew, and my girlfriend's probably cheating on me.
It's like we're living in a war zone.
- We are, Terry. - We wouldn't need a curfew
if you all stayed in.
Terry says your partner wrote a book.
- Vanessa? She did. Why? - I'm writing a book.
- Really? What is it about? - My life.
- Your life? - Is that bad?
Is your life so great?
Why don't you make something up?
I don't know how to.
Sure you do. Just lie.
Lie! Just lie!
Be free! Fiction is freedom, Bahlul!
How do you say "freedom" in Morocco?
Liberté.
That's fuckin French.
- In Arabic? - Yeah.
- Horreya. - Horreya!
Horreya! How do you pronounce your name?
- Bah-lul. - Bah-lul.
Bah-lul. Horreya. Horreya.
You like books? Read this book.
All lies! All lies!
Want me to sign it? - Yeah.
There... you... go.
Horreya.
And if you find, for whatever reason,
you can't make something up, just write about me.
Everybody does.
Bahlul, do you have "Snapchat"?
I don't have a phone.
Not even for "Tik Tok"?
TikTok tracks your movements.
- Fuck. - Karla?
What are you and Vanessa doing for the 4th?
Burning the flag! Denouncing the United States!
Let's have a barbecue.
Just keep your social distance between now and then.
Can Coco come?
- I guess. - Coco Loco...
Get home safe.
Bye, honey. Get well.
Take this. For Vanessa.
- It's got milk in it. - You eat it, then.
No.
What am I supposed to do with it?
Goodnight, fatty.
Give the boy a kiss for me.
I never fixed you.
Next time.
Coco?
There's cake. You want some?
Kabul... Kabul...
Bahlul... Bahlul...
Horreya...
Hey... Hey!
Excuse me. What is your name?
- R-Ronald. - Ronald. Come inside, please.
Do you like basements? - I can't-- but my bike is here--
- I'll buy you a new bike-- - Let me lock my bike--
- I'll buy you a new bike! - I can't--
Whoa! Hey, man! That's not your bike!
What happened next?
After the wedding?
She left my father.
"In my hour of need,
you weren't there," she said.
"You're weak. You're like my brother."
In fact, she'd never loved him...
...and was bored.
She woke me up, and dressed me.
And in the middle of the night, we left.
"We're going to see the world," she said.
"The real world.
You'll thank me later.
I wish, at your age, somebody had shown the world to me."
- Just what IS the "Middle East"?
- Good question!
For the next hour, I'll be exploring what we mean
when we use that term and some misconceptions
people in the West might have about this beautiful, chaotic,
but fascinating region...
...where so much seems to have gone wrong,
and where so much of what has gone wrong
seems to have been our fault.
Now, before we get any further, though...
Oh!
Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck!
Hit it, Bahlul!
Horreya!
Did you get it? - Yeah.
Show me.
Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck!
Hit it, Bahlul!
Cool! Toss it up!
Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck!
Hit it, Bahlul!
Radical.
Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
I'm out of data. Terry, what's the Wi-Fi?
It's on the router.
- Where's the router? - In Bahlul's room.
Look, I made a TikTok.
Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
Karla... do not post that.
Why not? It's radical.
- It's criminal. - To post?
- To burn the flag. - Who cares?
- Uh, the NSA. - Terry, I've got 90 followers.
Bahlul is in it.
- Bah-lul. - Delete it, Karla.
He's been all around the Middle East with Abigail.
He's probably on a watchlist.
Watchlist? Terry, grow up.
- One second!
Do not post that. Put this on.
Coco! Everybody's downstairs.
Wow. You look very nice. - Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck!
Hit it, Bahlul!
I have that notebook.
We should switch.
Oh God.
I read your book.
- Why? - Terry has a copy.
Oh...
Did you like it?
Does Karla like it?
Why do you ask?
She said it was all lies... Is it?
All lies? No. It is not.
So it's all true?
It is an "elevated truth." So...
But, did you like it or...?
To be honest? To me, it's not a good book.
- Oh. - I'll tell you why...
Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
Pew, pew.
- ...This didn't hurt Karla?
- It might have. - Well, it might not have
if you would have just used your imagination.
You make it sound so easy.
Look, I used to be just like you-- afraid.
But then I thought, "Who cares! It's all a fiction!"
Now, I'm free.
- You're free? - Yes!
Well, maybe I'm not as free as you, Bahlul,
because of my position. - What is your position?
My position in the world,
and I would think you'd be more sympathetic,
given where you're from. - New Jersey?
- No. - Morocco?
Given the-- Yes. Given the legacy, the history,
of orientalizing fantasies about the Middle East.
Morocco isn't in the Middle East.
Oh my God.
I apologize.
It's okay, look... Just forget about it.
Calm down.
Will you sign this?
But you hate it...
You do better next time, when you follow my advice.
You know, it's just... to me? Fiction is freedom.
Isn't that what fiction is? It's freedom...
Look, everybody! Coco made a casserole.
Say "Thank you, Coco."
- Thank you, Coco. - Thank you, Coco.
Vanessa, can you help me? Thank you.
Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
Post was not blowing up the way I thought it would.
Whatever. Fuck it.
Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
Um, before we start, I just want to say a few words...
Obviously, I would never
call myself a patriot. Of course...
Oh, Karla, I was just saying, I'm not a patriot, per se.
And Coco and I... - Coco Loco.
...might not quite agree about the protest movement
or the president or, uh, the founding,
but even so, it's nice to come together
with your neighbors on a summer day,
instead of fearing and avoiding one another.
Right? - Amen.
Uh, because after all,
our sense of "fellow feeling" has taken a real hit recently
on account of this nasty virus,
which is real, in my opinion!
And in the-- actually, Vanessa, if you could help me with this,
just because of my back-- and, in that of many scientists,
so, Coco, I really do appreciate the gesture of wearing the, um,
regardless of your-- uh...
Although maybe we should just spread out
to keep our distance in the yard,
since it is such a big yard?
And go one by one to serve ourselves.
And not smoke, Coco! Thank you!
- Vanessa and I form a pod. - Sure.
I'll just make you a plate, Bahlul.
Okay. Coco, any restrictions? Is meat okay?
Everything's halal!
Oh, and, Vanessa, there are vegan sausages for you.
There's vegan mayonnaise, vegan cheese.
- Thanks, Terry. - And don't you dare worry,
everything got its own place on the grill.
Very sweet.
What a spread. - Thank you.
And, Bahlul, can I get you a drink?
- Just some water, maybe? - Just some water.
Coco, don't hold back. Eat what you like.
Meat's there, utensils in the cup.
All right, some water for Bahlul.
Here we go.
Okay.
Bismillah.
You know, I read that, in Morocco,
people eat with their hands.
We're eating with our hands.
Not hamburgers.
"Tajines."
Sure.
Horreya! Oh-- Aah, fuck! Hit it, Bahlul!
Coco, what is that?
You follow me on TikTok, bitch?
Karla, I told you not to post that!
It's meat.
- Huh? - It's meat.
Terry, restroom?
- Oh, no, no.
- No.
Is it meat?
Are they meat?
Bahlul, what does this look like?
- Meat. - Vanessa! Vanessa!
It isn't meat!
Vanessa, it is not meat.
It isn't meat.
- It doesn't matter.
See?
- But you believe me? - Certainly.
I can't cook.
Nobody can cook.
Terry, do you have any digestif? - Mm-hmm.
Okay. What Vanessa needs right now is digestif.
We'll taste it first.
Okay.
Honey, we'll be right back. Stay right there.
- What? What? - Terry, wait up.
Coco.
Is "TikTok" the same as "Snapchat"?
No, Terry. Good Lord.
Leo's always sending me Snapchat.
- Do you open them? - Of course not.
That's probably good.
What IS TikTok?
Good question, Terry.
What is TikTok!
But an even better question...
is how your neighbor Coco can find me on TikTok!
Well, if she found it, all I'm saying is, so can the NSA.
The NSA?
Anyway, what is the point of that clip?
Terry, if you'd been in the streets, okay,
you'd know the point is revolution!
Thawra! Horreya!
Horreya! Horreya!
Horreya. Fag!
Horreya! Oh-- Aah--
There we go.
- Come on... - Who's Ronald?
Ronald? What's he want?
- His bike. - What bike? Who's Ronald?
Says you said you'd get him a new bike.
Needs it for work. - Okay.
-"PS, you need to quarantine.
My uncle has a dry cough."
Who's Ronald? Did you fuck him?
Terry, I'm a lesbian.
"Maybe you forgot who I am. Here's a picture."
My God, Karla.
Fucking exposure.
Oh, God.
Put this on. I'll tell the others.
You need to go. - But this is fake.
- Just put the mask on, please. - Who is Ronald...?
You are unbelievable. You and Leo...
Who the fuckin heck is Ronald?
Yeah. Who's Ronald?
Well, honey, I have no fucking clue!
Is that grappa?
- You two need to go. - Why?
- Terry says we've been exposed. - You two need to go!
- By whom? - His little boyfriend.
- You need to go! - Oh, Bahlul?
- Bahlul's his nephew. - You two...
- Nice kid... - ...need to go.
- Let's just get out of here. - I left my purse outside.
Okay, I'll fuckin get it. Call a cab.
Don't say a fuckin word.
Dork!
It's nice you're seeing someone, Terry.
I hope he's all right.
Why wouldn't he be?
Doesn't he have COVID?
What?
Aah!
- Terry? - What?!
Uncle Terry?
- Uncle Terry! - Uncle Terry?
- Terry! - Uncle Terry?
- Uncle Terry! - Leo?
- What? - It's Leo.
No, no, no, no...
What's up, Leo?
Fucking whore.
Whoo!
Leo!
Leo, why aren't you in Berlin?
- Uhhh, what's that, bud? - Why aren't you in Berlin?
I came to join the revolution!
- But why are you here?! - Karla invited me!
- You what?! - I'll see you later.
- No hugs! - You're going?
- Leo, put a mask on, please. - Uncle Terry says I gotta.
- Leo, mask. Ahh! - Easy there.
Coco Loco... Give him hell, all right?
- God damn it, Leo. - Don't let him treat you like
some sort of... - Car's here.
- All right! - Did you lose weight?
- Bye, everyone! - Not back here, I hope.
- Good luck! - Have fun without me!
There's more of it than I remember.
Want some of Daddy's medicine?
- What is it? - It's good for pain.
Leo, please.
Say "I love you, Daddy."
- I don't love you. - Say it anyway.
"I love you, Daddy."
Good boy. Come, come.
Oh, and Hamadou's coming over.
- Why?! - To meet the kid, the model.
And he's bringing his classmates.
- Leo! No! - You'll like them.
Come on. They all go to Parsons.
By the way, you say that guy's a model?
- Who? - Bilal.
Bahlul. Jesus Christ.
You trying to make me jealous?
I mean, he's not bad. He's cute, but "model"?
- Leo, he's a model, okay?
He's a working model.
Eh, what do I know?
Oh, shit. Food's here. - You ordered food?
Hamadou can't eat this shit. It's fuckin pork.
Oh my God.
Uh, hello? Are you deaf? Food's here.
- Bahlul, bedtime. - Hola. Cómo está usted?
- But I'm so pretty! - Take that off now.
Yes, either floor. It's all one house.
Here, get this out of here. Let's go.
- But I was having fun.
I love having fun. Leo's so much fun.
You need to wash your hands, okay?
I'll sanitize the wheelchair.
- What are you doing?
- It's for your stomach. - That's stealing!
- Shut the door on your way out!
- Karla? - It's not for me.
- Oh! - Oh, sorry.
Hello? Delivery.
Hello?
Where the fuck is the food, you fag?
Jesus Christ.
Hellooo? I'm starving.
Uncle Terry, please open the window.
- No. - Please.
Terryyy, may I come in?
Leo, get out!
- I'm fuckin famished. - Coming, one sec.
Delivery. Hello?
I was used to people staring.
Mama and I were quite a vision on the road.
Then, one day,
I noticed something different in their attention.
Something desperate and hungry in the way they'd look at me.
What was it?
What had changed?
I spent long hours in the mirror,
trying to understand...
what was it they saw in me?
Who was he, my reflection?
Hello to my reflection.
I liked myself best at night.
In lipstick.
In the dark.
At night, in lipstick, in the dark, alone.
I saw a possibility.
But on the road with Mother,
I was so rarely alone.
- Lookin for Terry? - Aah!
- Wrong floor. - I'm so sorry, miss.
- Call me Coco. - Okay, Coco. Okay. Sorry.
Come back anytime.
For some reason, I thought, in New York,
I would have a little privacy.
A little room to find myself. Alone.
Away from Mother. In New York.
I had an uncle in New York.
- Delivery for Leo? - There you are.
- There you go. - Thanks.
Hey, that's some fuckin tranny up there!
- Who? Coco? - Yeah, Coco.
Oh, Coco isn't trans, she's just mentally ill.
What is this, some kind of fuckin tranny house
or something? - What do you mean?
There's a tranny upstairs. There's a tranny downstairs.
And there was a tranny on the TV doing this.
Kind of nice, though. I like em. You like trans?
Actually... I hate them.
Come on, they're kind of cute.
Even that one out there just now.
You know, the one with the curly hair?
- Who? Karla? - Yeah... Karla.
I hate Karla most of all...
Look, next time you see Karla, let her know
that Ronald spent a lot of money on that bike,
and he needs it for work, okay?
Just have her call me.
I'm sorry, are you Ronald?
Why, did she tell you about me?
One second.
"Your uncle is a wicked man," she'd say.
"A deviant.
A freak.
He may act normal, may seem nice,
but he's not a normal person...
...and he's just pretending to be nice."
Is this something you could use?
It's not a bike, but it's yours if you want it.
Sure. Can I try her out?
- Yeah. Go ahead. - Wow...
The more she said against you, Terry,
the more interesting you seemed.
Karla? Can I ask you something?
- I never heard of him. - Who?
- Ronald. - Not my question.
But who is Ronald?
What's your question?
Did you sign a copy of my book and give it to Bahlul?
It's Terry's copy.
But you signed it... Why did you sign it?
- He asked me to. - It's not your book.
- It's my LIFE! - Don't shout! Please!
I really don't like you siccing him on me
with all the stuff about "imagination."
I have no fuckin idea what you're talking about.
"Make it up!" "Fiction is freedom!" Those are you.
You got to him with all your little talking points.
Honey, it sounds like he was trying to encourage you.
Would you say it was encouraging
to shout in someone's face and interrupt them?
Sweetie, he's not from Larchmont.
That's how people from the Arab world talk,
they're like the Greeks! -"The Arab world"?
- Oh, stop it! -"The Arab world"?
- Give me a break. - I'm not offended, Karla.
He was shouting at me.
Sweetie, that's just how they talk,
they're argumentative, they like to interrupt,
the Greeks, the Arabs, certain Jews,
it's all the same, you just don't get it.
I'm a Jew.
You're like a Larchmont Jew. It doesn't count.
Excuse me, sir, where are you from?
- A Larchmont Jew? - Sir?
- Sorry? - Where are you from, my friend?
- I'm from Brooklyn! - A Larchmont Jew?
But, like, where's your family from?
- From Yemen. - Yemen? That's amazing.
- And, um--
And how are things in Yemen?
Uh, it's not going so well.
Mama told me you were wicked, Terry,
without ever really saying why.
- I'll take it. - Great!
- What's your name, man? - Terry.
You're a cool guy, Terry. See you around.
But I knew why.
And I suspected she would say the same of me.
I needed a way out.
Mama was getting weird about the way I looked.
I think she would have liked to keep me hidden from the world.
But we were trying to see the world.
And everywhere we went,
people would tell me I should model.
"Go on, be a model," she'd say.
"Be a freak.
Go live in New York with your Uncle Terry.
A'udhubillah,
then you'll see what kind of people work in fashion."
I didn't know fashion.
And I didn't care.
Could fashion get me out of here, away from this?
I'll take it.
I hope you have a great night. Happy 4th.
Give my best to your wife.
Bye, now.
- Poor guy. - Who says a thing like that?
"Poor guy"? Were you not listening?
His family? It's tragic! Yemen?
You say to someone you love that they're a Larchmont Jew?
Hey, is your whole family starving to death in Yemen,
or are they upstate playing shuffleboard?
Just what the fuck do you think life is like in Larchmont?
I wouldn't know. I've never been invited.
Why do you think that is, by the way?!
What could it be about me
that you don't want to bring home to Larchmont?
Oh, you think I had an easy time in Larchmont
growing up with blondes? Going to school with blondes?
- Blondes? - You think I had an easy life?
Tip that driver 20 bucks, and get over yourself.
Oh, hey! Hey, miss!
Miss! Miss! Can you do me a favor, please?
Could I please use your phone, please?
- My-- My phone? - Yeah.
Could I use your phone, please? I'm dying to use a phone.
Wh-- what happened to your phone?
- It died lady!
I'm begging you!
"The world is full of freaks," she'd say.
"Full of freaks and deviants.
You can't trust anyone." - Hey, what's up?
Can you watch this for me, please?
But wasn't this the same world we were trying to see?
What could I see?
I couldn't sneak out.
Couldn't get away.
We were together all the time.
Hey, thanks so much.
Thanks.
How was I supposed to meet others like myself?
"Uncle Terry's life in New York must be wonderful," I thought.
"He must have so many good friends."
- He was so fucked up.
He had his leg up, and he thought his leg was gone!
And we're like. "Bro, your leg is right there."
Oh, he's, like, really tall.
He has really, like, beautiful black hair.
He's really cute, like you. He's from Morocco.
Where are you from? - I'm from Morocco...
What?! That's so fucking cool!
Shut up! Oh, my fucking God!
That is crazy.
Uh, I'll be right back.
Let me in.
- Not safe. - I have to shit.
Shit at home.
This is my home.
Put this on, and please do not touch anything.
For your troubles.
Ooh!
Why am I this person? What was that?
He was enormous. He had a big beard.
I thought, "This man is going to rape and kill me."
And you weren't there.
But he didn't.
So what do I know?
I'm from Larchmont, and I live in terror.
I don't know a thing about the world.
Where is Yemen?
South of Saudi, honey. West of Oman.
What the fuck is Oman?
Where is Yemen? What is Yemen? And why should you care?
For the next hour, I'll be exploring
conditions on the ground in Yemen, where a civil war
between the internationally recognized government
of President Abdrabbuh Mansur Hadi... - Oh, he's getting up.
...and the northern Houthi rebels...
- He's leaving. - ...has raged for six years,
plunging this country of 24 million souls... - He's gone.
- ...into a vortex of... - I think he left it on the stoop.
...famine, infrastructural collapse,
and desperate poverty. - Sit tight.
I'll be right back. I love you very much.
...that the UN is calling the worst humanitarian crisis
of our era.
Now, before I get any further, though...
...I want to give a quick shoutout to our sponsors at--
Sweetie! He left it on the stoop.
I'll wipe it off for you.
Here you go. Good as new.
- Who's Ronald? - Huh?
Who is Ronald? Who is this?
- You read my texts? - I pay your phone bill.
Who's Ronald?
Ronald has a crush on me, and he's a little crazy.
And do you have a "crush" on Ronald?
- Sweetie, I'm a lesbian. - No, no. Right.
It's just, in that case,
your identical twin owes this kid a bike.
One day, I was approached by an American
when Mama wasn't looking.
He said, "You're beautiful.
I work in fashion.
I can help you.
Let me take your picture."
-"Mama, I'm leaving.
You can't stop me.
But you can give me your blessing."
Oh, wow. Wow.
Hi, Terry. Happy 4th. You want some chips?
- Your friends seem nice. - What?
I said, "Your friends seem nice."
Oh, no, they're not my friends.
They're Leo's friends.
- And how did you enjoy Berlin? - Berlin was fine. Yeah...
Leo proposed...
- To do what? - To marry me.
I have not signed the papers yet.
Mm.
Would you?
If you are sure it's what you want.
Yeah, I do. Before he gets bored.
- Very well. - Thank you, Terry.
You know, I never got to meet your nephew.
Bahlul has an early bedtime.
Mm. He's a model.
- Yes, he is. - Mm.
He must be very handsome.
Uh-huh.
- And he's Muslim? - Uh-huh.
Ah. Like me!
I never thought of that.
You know, Leo wouldn't stop talking about him all night.
You know, about how attractive he is.
Yeah, I've been, you know, trying to
shut him up about it, but...
Yeah.
- Where is Leo? - Bathroom.
Still?
Hamadou, I'm gonna get that paperwork,
but will you just watch the door?
Yes. Let me help you.
Thank you.
Hey, Lee?
Leo?
Leo? Leo?
Oh my God!
Leo, wake up! Get up!
Oh, my God, you pig!
You pig!
Aah!
Oh my God.
Hamadou! Come help! Please!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? What's going on?
- Help! Get him out of here! - What happened?
Oh Leo, what have you done?
- Guys, please.
I need help at the back.
- Get him out! - Grab his leg.
Pull him up. Let's go.
Yes, yes, we've got this.
Yes, carefully. Relax.
Just go!
♪ I feel alive, I feel so free ♪
♪ I love to fuck, I'm a greased-up freak ♪
- Yes, yes. - ♪ Yeaaaah
Leo!
♪ I love to bite, I'm lookin' chic ♪
♪ I'll freak you out, I'm a greased-up freak ♪
♪ Mmmmm
- The door is locked, guys. - ♪ I'm still alive, my hands, my feet ♪
- We'll go up the stairs, now. - ♪ My blood is flowing
♪ I'm a greased-up freak
♪ Mmmmm
♪ I live alone, you come to me ♪ - Easy. All right.
♪ Let's make a mess, I'm a greased-up freak ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
♪ Greased. Up. Freak. Greased. Up. Freak. ♪
♪ Greased. Up. Freak.
Greased. Up. Freak. ♪
♪ Greased. Up. Freak.
Ow!
He's still my husband.
Get up, Terry.
We're still married.
He'll be fine.
You don't understand.
If he dies, I get everything.
Help me.
-"My blessing?
How can I bless you?" she said.
"I can't even look at you.
You make me sick. You're killing me."
"It's all my fault," she said.
"The half of you that's mine.
And now you'll burn for all eternity
like Terry and the other freaks."
Can I come in? No? But he's my fiancé.
Sweetie.
Aw.
When I got here, I tried to reach you, Terry.
You were busy.
So this was New York.
I don't know what I expected.
Magic and adventure?
It was just a job.
I went where I was told.
I knocked on doors, and smiled, and asked for favors.
I stood in rooms of beautiful young people
trying to get their picture taken.
All right, maybe over here.
Yeah, perfect. Let's shoot here.
Yeah, this looks like fun.
Beautiful.
Ooh, sexy!
Yes! - Okay, let me see.
Shut up. Let me see.
Okay, yeah. This works.
Oh!
♪ Horreya, horreya
♪ Wad dunya, horreya - Hey!
Get out of the way!
Hey there's a fuckin ambulance coming!
Get out of the way! - ♪ Horreya, horreya
Then I had my accident.
Really, it happened at the perfect time...
...right as the world was shutting down.
I gave the hospital your name, Terry.
This time, you took the call. You took me home.
And, gradually, I understood what Mama meant.
You weren't exactly wicked, Terry.
You were just a loser.
My leg is nearly better.
I'll be leaving soon.
Terry, is that you? It's Hamadou.
- Hi, Hamadou. - I'm at the hospital.
Wait, wait. Terry, is that you?
- No, it's Bahlul. - Bahlul, I'm here with Leo. He's awake.
That's good news.
That's good news, Hamadou.
I know. Good news. Will you let Terry know?
- I'll tell him. - All right, thank you, Brother.
No community.
No family.
No friendship.
Coco! Do you love me?
If you love me, help me.
Thank you, Coco.
Would it be okay if I smoked?
Of course. I'll join you.
Karla was right.
It's not that interesting, my life.
Tonight, after the barbecue,
I'll go back and rewrite it,
this time full of magic and adventure.
Why should I be this person?
Why can't I be someone else?
Anything is possible.
Fiction is freedom.
The night of Leo's embolism--
Vanessa?
4th of July, 2020--
Vanessa?
we ended our relationship.
I don't care what it looks like.
I don't care what anybody thinks.
I loved her more than life itself.
I hear she moved in with Jeannie Koletzko...
...and in a fresh burst of inspiration,
finished her book.
Coco!
It's funny with the virus...
Coco! Have you seen Bahlul?
That night, everybody got it.
But nobody died.
Oh my God! Coco!
Oh my God!
Except for Coco.
Once he'd recovered, Leo sold the Party House,
but kept the bed and wheelchair.
He needed them for his new fiancé.
And Hamadou moved on.
I hear he's with a woman now.
A model.
I guess Terry's nephew got better, and he left.
Terry won't talk about it.
He was always weird about Bahlul.
Hey. Excuse me?
Hello? Excuse me?
Can we take this?
The fuck do I care?
Cunt.