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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[gentle music]

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Yep. [sighs]
Is this for me? [chuckles]

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All right. [sighs]

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Ooh.

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[producer]
Agricultural Appropriation,

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slate 83, take one.

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[Kirsty] No,
I... I definitely didn't think

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the big vegetable championships
at Shepton Mallet

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would be my big break
as a filmmaker.

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I was actually... I was making
a film about pesticides

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when I was at university.

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And so that's how I met a lot
of the competitive veg growers.

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Shepton Mallet was like their
sort of big event of the year.

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A bit like Glastonbury,
but at Shepton Mallet,

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the big veg growers
were the rock stars. [chuckles]

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My name is Alan Bumbridge.

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I'm the current
world record holder

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for the largest leek,
the longest chili pepper,

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and of course, the heaviest
marrow in the world.

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Uh, not this one,
it was last year's. Very proud.

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It meant a lot to Tony
to break the record

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last year for biggest leek.

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[host] Another round of applause

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for Tony Knight,
ladies and gentlemen.

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[Gail] He's not a big
shower of emotion, our Tony.

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I like to say that
he's a grower, not a shower.

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But I don't mean anything
cheeky, mind. [giggles]

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Don't touch, don't touch,
don't touch, please, thank you.

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Bumbridge and Tony,
they are very much

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the Muhammad Ali
and Cassius Clay

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of the big veg world.

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Big rivals. Yeah.

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Welcome, everyone,
to the 2017 annual

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Big Vegetable Championships
here in Shepton Mallet.

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[audience applauding]

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Now, in half an hour,

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I believe that
we are doing the weigh-in

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for the one you've
all been waiting for, folks.

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The prestigious
Heaviest Marrow category.

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[audience applauding]

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[Kirsty] It was there
that I first met Caroline.

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2017, the year of Marrowgate.

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That's what
they called the scandal.

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From what I can remember, she
received an honorable mention

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for particularly
girthy leek in 2016.

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But in that year,
in what was 2017,

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it was Gary, her marrow.

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He caused quite a stir.

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So, then,
what do we reckon, people?

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Gary the Marrow.

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Grown by our very own
Caroline back there.

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Take a bow, Caroline.

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She's already the holder
of the UK's heaviest onion.

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But this could prove to be
a world beater right here.

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Excuse me.

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Uh, you two? You okay? Hello?

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Oi.

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- Oi! You two.
- Paul?

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Disqualified?
What do you mean, disqualified?

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[judge] It's been brought
to our attention,

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there's a fissure, sir.

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A hairline fissure
in the marrow.

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Do you mean like a crack?
Gary's not got a crack in him.

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For a marrow to compete,
it must have no split

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or fissure in the outer skin.

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Gary's not got a crack in him.
It's fine.

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It's not
a subjective assessment.

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We have 83 years of experience
of judging marrow among us.

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You have a hairline fissure.

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[Paul] Oh, it's a bit rich
coming from you, mate,

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talking about hairline anything!

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- I think you need to calm down.
- Calm down?

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[Linda] She would've been
the first female ever

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to win in a marrow division.

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First ever, I swear to God.

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Here,
there's a one and a half inch.

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Nothing one and a half inch
about that at all.

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There's nothing there, mate.

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[judge] I'm surprised
you can't see it.

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[Paul] I can see it very well.

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I wonder why you can't see it,
though, mate.

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Anyway, it wasn't meant to be.

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Robbed.

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Can't see a scratch
or a crack or...

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Well, what can you do?

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[Paul] Bullshit!

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Bullshit!

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Bull-shit!

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Do you know what MP said to me?

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"You are scaring the children."

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Well, you know what
they should be scared of, mate?

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Corruption!

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Look, can... can you
turn this off, please?

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What is that?

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["Do Nothing"
by The Specials playing]

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I don't know
how I'm... I'm gonna do this.

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[Paul] All right, get round
here. Watch your back.

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Lift with your knees.

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♪ Each day I walk along
this lonely street ♪

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- [Caroline groaning]
- [Paul] Come on.

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[both grunting, groaning]

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♪ New pair of shoes
are on my feet ♪

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Get around here first.

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♪ 'Cause fashion is ♪

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♪ My only culture ♪

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♪ Nothing ever change ♪

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♪ Oh, no ♪

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Mate, what is that?

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- You won't be able to reverse.
- Okay.

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[sighs] Fuck's sake.

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Jesus Christ, man. [groans]

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Good, then? Sorted?

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Got it all loaded up. Nice one.

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- Caro, stop it.
- What?

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Just stop pretending that you're
okay about what just happened.

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Stop it, okay?

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Here's the one and only
Mr. Alan Bumbridge!

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There's a surprise.
Hello. [chuckles]

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Thank you, judges. Thank you.

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Thank you, pal.

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[Caroline] Can we go?

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I'm starving.

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Just go and get
something to eat, Paul.

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[Kirsty] It was clear that year

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that the other growers were
scared of Caroline beating them.

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That's when I decided
I was going to follow Caroline.

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I got two friends
from my course to help me.

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Never actually been, uh, in...

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In a film before.

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They won't feature in the film,
though, so forget about them.

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But together,
we set out to follow Caroline

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on her journey
to Shepton Mallet 2018.

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How were we to know what
we were getting ourselves into?

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[suspenseful music]

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[reporter]
And now we turn to the scandal

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that's really rocked
the West Country this week.

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[man] It's a disgrace,
Barney, it is a disgrace.

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They should've weighed
that marrow that lady brought.

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[Paul] Someone should've
shoved that marrow

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up the judges' arses.

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Then they'd appreciate
the size of it.

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[laughing]

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[sirens wailing]

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[man] If that's what they're
classing as a big marrow

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down south, they need
to get a grip of themselves,

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because I've seen bigger grapes.

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[woman] What this story clearly
is is an agricultural issue,

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but it's a gender issue as well.

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[Paul] Ah, give it a rest, mate.
Give it a rest, mate.

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[Caroline]
They took my fucking vegetables.

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[Kirsty] So, can you talk to us
about the jobs that you've done?

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[Caroline] Oh, yeah. Well,
I've done a few jobs in me time.

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All right?

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I was air hostess
for a little while in Japan.

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[speaking Japanese]

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That means, uh,

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"Hi, my name's Caroline.
Do you want steak or fish?"

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It's a beautiful language.

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I mean, to be honest, I like
to be time-rich, cash-poor.

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I'd like to be time-rich

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and cash-rich, obviously,

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but that's not
gonna happen, is it?

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Doing the best job
I've had in a while, actually.

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Uh, doing a bit of work
for a couple of friends

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that own a private
investigating business.

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Working down the courthouse
at the minute.

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Just doing some notes on a case.

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That's why I'm dressed smart.

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100 quid a day to take
some notes, cash in hand.

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Easy money.

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Right?

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Won't be a minute.
Hold on this car.

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Oh! Eas... easy, tiger. [laughs]

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[muffled dance music playing]

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- Hey!
- [Caroline] Hey, there.

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00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,190
- How's it going, Caroline?
- Yeah, not bad.

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- How was it today?
- Yeah, good. Same old.

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Got the notes down
that you asked me to take.

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- All right. Okay.
- Good job.

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- All right.
- Oh!

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- Oh, hi, Louise.
- Hi, Carol. Are you coming in?

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[Caroline] No,
I've got to get home.

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00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,750
Er, yeah, Lawrence and Louise,
they're a lovely couple.

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You know,
they're... they're creative

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00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:51,010
and successful, very kind,

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generous, flexible.

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00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:54,610
[Louise] Oh,
do you know what I have?

190
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,680
I have some of your clothes
from the last time.

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I've washed your knickers.
[laughs]

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Uh, I'll get them...
I'll get them next time.

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00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:05,520
Uh, let's just say
we had the same social circle

194
00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:07,070
for a little while. [laughs]

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00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,030
- Hey! Oi!
- [Caroline] Oh, yeah, money.

196
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,070
[laughs] In such a hurry.

197
00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:13,570
Forgetting the most
important thing!

198
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:14,950
- Oh.
- Did you want it?

199
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,450
- [both laughing]
- That's nice.

200
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,660
All right. Yeah.

201
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,910
- Hang on!
- What?

202
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:28,800
[Lawrence] Hold on.

203
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:34,090
Gee! Uh, that's it.

204
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,050
That's it. Work done now.

205
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,470
2:30. Get stuck into the garden.

206
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,020
- Lovely. Hiya, Willy.
- Caro.

207
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,190
I, uh... [clears throat]

208
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,980
I've emptied
all the compost from the van.

209
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,730
Good stuff, Willy, good stuff.

210
00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,280
- Nice one.
- There's... Yeah.

211
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,150
Still a few bags left.

212
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,030
- Well, crack on.
- Yeah.

213
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,870
[Caroline]
Yeah, it's hard work, this.

214
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,080
Got to put the graft in.

215
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,160
You don't get
the heaviest onions in Britain

216
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,540
from sitting behind
a desk all day. [laughs]

217
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,460
Blood, sweat, and tears.
Here it is!

218
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,090
There's the garden. This is
where all the magic happens.

219
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,460
Fertilizer's key.

220
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:16,180
Tried a few different recipes
over the last 12 months,

221
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,470
something like that.

222
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,560
But the fish guts,
marrows especially seem to love.

223
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,850
[Willy]
My mate Sid did all this for £6.

224
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,900
When we first put it down,
we got all the cats,

225
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,310
didn't we, come in.

226
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,770
- Nightmare.
- [growls] Yeah.

227
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,730
But Willy's got
this thing on his windowsill.

228
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:33,860
Show 'em, Will.

229
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,240
- [air horn blaring]
- Again, Will.

230
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,830
[air horn blaring]

231
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,120
[neighbor] What the fuck
are you guys doing over there?

232
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,960
Oh, neighbors don't love it,
but what can you do?

233
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,790
Shouldn't let the cats
out at night, should they?

234
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,420
- Come down, Will!
- [air horn blaring]

235
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,460
[laughs] Loves it.

236
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,420
The next key thing is light.

237
00:11:56,510 --> 00:12:00,350
You've got to get light
on all parts of the plant.

238
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:02,930
Um, this tree

239
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,480
was overshadowing the garden,
so that had to go.

240
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,940
Uh, neighbors didn't
like it, did they?

241
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,690
You know what they're like.

242
00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:13,520
It was a 30-year-old ash tree.

243
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,690
You didn't mind,
though, did you, Willy?

244
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,360
No. Thirty years.

245
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,320
Good [indistinct].

246
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:24,160
She didn't tell me
before she cut it down, no.

247
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,620
[Willy chuckles]

248
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,790
Ah, it's fine,
'cause I was away that weekend

249
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:31,080
at, uh,
my auntie's funeral, so, um...

250
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,540
she probably would've told me.

251
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,160
She probably would've asked me.

252
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,880
I just wasn't there to...

253
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:40,930
hear the words.

254
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:45,810
Last but not least, the final
thing, of course, are the seeds.

255
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,480
These are all children
of Gary the Marrow.

256
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,080
- God rest his soul.
- [Willy whimpers]

257
00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:54,440
Yeah, basically
we've got three chances

258
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,090
of growing a world beater,
haven't we, really?

259
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,990
- [Willy chuckles]
- Yeah, Willy.

260
00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:00,950
- [Caroline chuckles]
- [Willy grunts, chuckles]

261
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:09,000
[phone ringing]

262
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,670
- [Kirsty] Hello?
- [Willy] Kirsty?

263
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,790
Yeah.

264
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,420
- Kirsty Willows?
- Yes.

265
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,050
- Willy, what?
- It's Willy.

266
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,630
Oh, right. Yeah. What's up?

267
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,680
What do you mean, "What's up?"
You called me.

268
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,800
You're going to want to come
round to Caroline's tomorrow.

269
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,430
To... today, I mean.

270
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:28,060
Something's happened, Kirsty.

271
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:30,480
It's bad.

272
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,980
[ominous music]

273
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,820
Oh, it's you. It's Kirsty!

274
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,710
- Were you followed?
- [Kirsty] What? No.

275
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:40,780
Right, come in.

276
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,410
Make sure you shut
that gate behind you.

277
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:47,160
You have to be
extra vigilant today.

278
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,260
The first...
these first few hours,

279
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:50,750
they're... they're critical.

280
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,170
- Will you give it a rest, Paul?
- She is very emotional.

281
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,050
They took my fucking vegetables.

282
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:59,340
They hit in the early hours
of the morning.

283
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:00,670
[Kirsty] Yeah, Willy called me.

284
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,610
[Paul] What did I say
about using the phone?

285
00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:05,140
- I didn't give away any details.
- [Paul] Jesus Christ, Willy!

286
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,220
Paul, give it a rest!
Just chill out!

287
00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:09,970
- Chill out? Chill out?
- My head's killing me!

288
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,350
- Caroline is still in shock.
- I'm not in freaking shock.

289
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,060
I just want you
to just calm down a little bit.

290
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,980
We're all doing
our best, aren't we?

291
00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:18,780
You're gonna have
a heart attack, mate.

292
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:20,840
I couldn't really tell
what was hurting me head more,

293
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,110
to be honest,
the fact that I'd been punched

294
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,370
or that Paul was going on
like he was Columbo.

295
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,700
[Paul] One more thing.

296
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,120
Uh, you can see they've, uh,

297
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,240
smashed through
this pane of glass here and...

298
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:33,120
Uh, just careful you don't
contaminate the crime scene.

299
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:35,210
Just, uh...
Now, luckily, Willy got

300
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,210
some video footage
of the incident

301
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,150
because he was doing
one of his taste test reviews

302
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,810
on YouTube at the time,
weren't you, Will?

303
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,380
I review canned goods.

304
00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:44,380
- [Caroline] At 2:00 a.m.?
- That's magic time.

305
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,680
They have fucked it, really.
They have fucked it!

306
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,490
Because if you look down here...
come in, you...

307
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:50,010
Kirsty, get in close down there.

308
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:52,350
Clearly they've left
some blood on the side there.

309
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,810
- So, DNA.
- [doorbell chiming]

310
00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:56,230
[Kirsty] Hmm.

311
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,150
I think there's
someone at the door.

312
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,030
Willy, you better not have
called anyone else.

313
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,950
Who's this? Press?

314
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,240
[Caroline] Uh, no,

315
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,830
she... she's doing
a documentary on pesticides.

316
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,370
- So it's fine.
- Right. Good.

317
00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,790
Lawrence and Louise.

318
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,170
Not quite sure what Caro
sees in them, to be honest.

319
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,690
I mean,
they've got nothing in common.

320
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:19,920
At least I hope they're not.

321
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,090
Some of the things I've seen.

322
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,590
- [chair squeaks]
- Chair.

323
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:26,780
Sir, could you step away from
the crime scene, please?

324
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,890
- It must remain uncontaminated.
- Excuse me?

325
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,180
This is my crime scene, sir.

326
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:32,680
Paul, what are we talking about?

327
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:35,350
It's bullshit, Caro.
I've been here since 6:00 a.m.

328
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,730
Well, there's a lot of politics

329
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:39,400
when it comes
to crime scene jurisdiction.

330
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:43,440
Crossing the county lines, egos,

331
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:46,490
always the little yappy dogs
that make the most noise.

332
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,950
Why didn't you show the guys
what you found, Paul?

333
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:52,910
Well, come on in.

334
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,810
Yeah, uh, you can clearly see
that they've, uh, smashed

335
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,510
through this pane of glass
there for entry.

336
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
I mean, this looks like
accidental damage.

337
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,920
Did you have
a lock on this, Caro?

338
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,460
Nah, I think I did that
when I threw the rolling pin.

339
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,630
What? Why didn't you say that?

340
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,860
I see you attempted to take
the thieves on yourself, Caro,

341
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:10,220
hence the, uh, peas.

342
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,470
Yeah. They knocked me clean out.

343
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,280
And one of them
was cut in the fray, though,

344
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:17,190
so we do have some blood DNA
down there for the lab.

345
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,310
The lab?

346
00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:21,810
I mean, by the smell of that,

347
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,860
I think it might
actually be fizzy pop.

348
00:16:25,030 --> 00:16:26,110
Probably grape.

349
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,360
- Yeah, I think I spilt that.
- What?

350
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,490
Well, there's not
a whole lot going on here, Caro.

351
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,660
I think Willy might have got
some footage of the break-in.

352
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:34,950
Oh, yeah.

353
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,580
I live just there.

354
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,600
Willy, would you be prepared
to show us the footage?

355
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,060
- Let's do it.
- I'll take you through.

356
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,560
[Louise] You know, it's that
sort of stuff that actually

357
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:44,500
makes it very handy
when you're investigating.

358
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,340
Willy, when did you
start recording?

359
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,760
- In general, or...
- Um...

360
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,050
[Kirsty] So, how did you guys
first meet Caroline?

361
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,740
- Uh, we met Caroline at work.
- Oh, we met at one of

362
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,010
our sex parties... Work.

363
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,850
This is Asda's own beef stew.

364
00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:02,810
It would be 42% beef,
32% potatoes,

365
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,570
and 32% carrots.

366
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,400
It's not as nice
as it sounds. [laughs]

367
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:09,380
- Trust... trust me.
- Can we skip this little bit?

368
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,160
- It's... it's a good bit.
- I mean, you can watch it later.

369
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,320
- Sure.
- [Louise] Yeah.

370
00:17:15,370 --> 00:17:16,580
[dramatic music]

371
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,540
[Willy] Hey. Hey.

372
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:20,620
Car... Caro. Caroline!

373
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,630
Caro... Caroline! Caro!

374
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,920
Caroline, hey!

375
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,880
[air horn blaring]

376
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,130
Here she comes.

377
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:30,840
- [Caroline screaming]
- Caro!

378
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,180
- Caroline!
- [glass shattering]

379
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,560
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh, that's...

380
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,680
Yeah.

381
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,270
That's a big hit you took there.

382
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,230
- Been throbbing.
- Me too.

383
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,650
Wow, okay.
That's absolutely incredible.

384
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,780
You make a great detective,
Willy.

385
00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:54,240
What do we think are the traits
for a private investigator?

386
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,160
Successful private investigator.

387
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,120
- Successful.
- Successful. Thank you.

388
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,960
- [both chuckling]
- [Lawrence] People? Yeah.

389
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,390
[Louise]
You have to work with people,

390
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:05,250
but you have to not let people
in so far that they hurt you.

391
00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:07,170
- Um...
- Yeah.

392
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,760
- By being discreet.
- Discretion is everything.

393
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,970
- Keys, handcuffs. That's...
- [both laughing]

394
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,760
- Again, people don't expect...
- I know.

395
00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:18,310
...um, private detectives
to be funny, but...

396
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,770
Um, but also
a value for the law.

397
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,770
Yeah, though, we'll do needs
rates on it, without a doubt.

398
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:25,370
- Yeah.
- We're gonna do this one, too.

399
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,620
[Caroline]
How much would that be, then?

400
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:27,940
[Paul] I don't trust 'em, Willy.

401
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:30,360
Has Caro told you
what those two get up to?

402
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,110
Swinging.

403
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:34,530
See, all I'm saying is,
for private investigators,

404
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:35,990
they're not very private.

405
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:38,700
More like
privates investigators.

406
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,240
That's quite good, that is.

407
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,790
[Caroline] Okay.
Yeah, Okay, that's good.

408
00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:44,500
Yeah, thank you so much.

409
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:46,810
- Anyway, I've heard...
- [Lawrence] Look after that bum.

410
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:49,050
Oh, yeah. See you later.

411
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:50,250
[door opens]

412
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:52,260
- Well?
- Huh?

413
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,550
Yeah, they said
they'd help me, but...

414
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,010
it's gonna cost 1,200 quid.

415
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,510
1,200 quid?

416
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,720
- Can't pay that, can 1?
- [Paul] Well, of course not.

417
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:04,310
I will find the guys
that did this.

418
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:05,770
How are you gonna do that?

419
00:19:05,850 --> 00:19:07,040
[Paul] Oh,
I've been thinking about that.

420
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,900
How did they know

421
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,780
that the plants
would be in the greenhouse?

422
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,570
Do you know what,
I'll bet you money that

423
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,740
- they bugged your house, Caro.
- Yeah.

424
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:19,160
[Willy laughing]

425
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,910
I think I need
a gin and tonic, Willy.

426
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,160
[Paul] See, I reckon
they used either a GSM bug...

427
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:28,250
Um, Global System
for Mobile Comms...

428
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:31,000
Uh, or an RF transmitter.

429
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:33,260
Now, you can get
an RF transmitter,

430
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,470
uh, pretty cheap these days,
if you know where to look,

431
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,970
which I definitely do.

432
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:40,720
Radio frequency.

433
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,850
Uh, just in case
you need the old handbook.

434
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:46,480
Clear!

435
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,320
I met Paul at school.
We lived in the same town.

436
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,650
We used to go raving together.

437
00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:54,070
Clear!

438
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:55,710
[Caroline] I was coming home
from work one day

439
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:57,320
and I just bumped into him.

440
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,200
Knocked him off his bike.

441
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,780
Ended up looking after him
for six months

442
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:02,990
while he was bedridden.

443
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,960
The rest is history.

444
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,520
[Willy]
Do you want another gin, Caro?

445
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,250
Yeah, Willy, go on.

446
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,210
It's gonna be okay, you know.

447
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,220
Paul's gonna find him.

448
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,300
This was probably left over
from a party that we had.

449
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:23,100
Cocktail umbrella.

450
00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:28,810
Bit of... bit of tittle tattle.

451
00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:30,810
This is a tractor
that Willy got me.

452
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,110
He loves getting me gifts.

453
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:33,940
He got me this owl.

454
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:36,780
[hooting]

455
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:40,360
[Kirsty]
What about those little cocks?

456
00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:41,490
Huh?

457
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:44,490
Oh.

458
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,410
These were my late husband's.

459
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,620
I think Caroline and I

460
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:53,750
are a little unconventional,
a bit complicated, really.

461
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,090
I think, um...

462
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,720
I think when
her husband left her,

463
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,010
she...

464
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:06,020
turned to me, a little,
and, uh...

465
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,310
[Kirsty] Her husband left her?

466
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,560
She told me
her husband was dead.

467
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:13,770
How did your husband die,
Caroline,

468
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,110
if you don't mind me asking?

469
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,990
Well, he worked
at the Ovis factory

470
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:21,070
and, uh, fell in
one of the incinerators,

471
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,120
so... he was toast.

472
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,580
[Willy laughs]

473
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:27,820
I mean, for years she told me

474
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,210
that he drowned
in a vat of honey.

475
00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:30,660
Came to a sticky end.

476
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,920
Died in the sprinkler aisle
at B&Q.

477
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,380
It was a watery grave.
That's one of my favorites.

478
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,590
She once told me
that her husband died in Stoke,

479
00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:39,090
gone to a better place.

480
00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:41,300
That's good if you're
from Stoke, though, isn't it?

481
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,760
[chuckles]
I've never been to Stoke.

482
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,360
[Kirsty]
What actually happened to him?

483
00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,060
Oh, don't really wanna
talk about it,

484
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,810
to be honest,
Kirsty, if that's okay.

485
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,140
Can we just not discuss that?

486
00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:57,440
Are we done?
Uh, I've got stuff to do.

487
00:21:58,230 --> 00:22:00,360
[Willy] I think
when her husband left,

488
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:03,820
it fell on me
to be the man of the house.

489
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,660
I mean, not her house, per se,
but the man of my house,

490
00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:11,250
which is next to her house.

491
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,080
Caro!

492
00:22:15,130 --> 00:22:17,170
- Caroline!
- [knocking]

493
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,960
Caroline!

494
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,470
Oh,
fucking Willy always does this.

495
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:23,650
I just told him to come here.

496
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,010
I gave one of Gary's seeds
to Annette.

497
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,930
- My ex-girlfriend.
- [Caroline] Annette.

498
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,480
Wrong 'un. Yeah.

499
00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:34,730
Broke Willy's heart.

500
00:22:34,810 --> 00:22:36,360
And stole his coffee machine.

501
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,980
Coffee machine woman!

502
00:22:38,770 --> 00:22:40,400
- Willy.
- [Willy laughs]

503
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,530
Yeah.

504
00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:43,820
- So she's got the seeds?
- Yeah.

505
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,070
Well, let's go.

506
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,370
[Willy] Wow, she's in there.
She's definitely home.

507
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,490
[tense music]

508
00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:53,290
Might be our only chance,
though, Willy.

509
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:56,210
Did she definitely plant it?

510
00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,130
Yes. Yeah.

511
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,050
We planted it together.

512
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,010
Still have feelings
for her, Willy?

513
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:10,930
What? [stutters]

514
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:12,770
No.

515
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,190
No way. No.

516
00:23:15,940 --> 00:23:17,860
With Annette and I,
it was just purely physical.

517
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:19,520
It was, um...

518
00:23:20,730 --> 00:23:21,900
we had, uh...

519
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,360
We can leave it if you want
and just go home.

520
00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:30,370
Caroline loved those marrows.
They're like children to her.

521
00:23:32,790 --> 00:23:33,830
Do you have children?

522
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:35,710
[Kirsty] No, I don't.

523
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,140
[Willy] Well,
imagine you've got children.

524
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,550
And now imagine that you've put
those children in a greenhouse

525
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:42,810
and left them there overnight,

526
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,380
and the next morning
they are missing.

527
00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:47,640
Hmm?

528
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,720
Hmm?

529
00:23:52,010 --> 00:23:53,060
Come on, Caroline.

530
00:23:54,390 --> 00:23:55,770
Let's get that bloody plant.

531
00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:58,600
Oy

532
00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:09,280
[Caroline] Uh, that woman
wasn't very nice to Willy.

533
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:12,090
She was a bit of a knobhead,
to be honest.

534
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,330
She stole
his coffee machine, so...

535
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:17,210
ah, I don't feel bad at all.

536
00:24:21,130 --> 00:24:23,210
Willy, what are you doing?

537
00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:25,670
This is for the coffee machine.

538
00:24:26,420 --> 00:24:29,720
- Are you having a piss?
- Shh. Don't talk to me.

539
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,550
- Come on.
- It's not coming.

540
00:24:32,050 --> 00:24:33,760
Oh, come on. Come on.

541
00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:35,560
Waterfalls.
Waterfalls. Waterfalls.

542
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,140
[Caroline gasps] Oh, shit.

543
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,820
How are we doing
back there, Willy?

544
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:50,160
Well, soil's very dry, Caroline.
Very dry.

545
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,550
I don't know
if it's gonna make it.

546
00:24:51,570 --> 00:24:52,680
Is there any water in the back?

547
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,030
- No.
- We've got to get him home.

548
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,580
Get some water in him. Feed him.

549
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,330
Oh, Annette,
you flipping monster.

550
00:24:58,410 --> 00:25:00,250
I want Tomorite,
50 milliliters, okay?

551
00:25:00,330 --> 00:25:03,000
- I've got it. I've got it.
- [Willy whining]

552
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,520
Okay, just...
just... there you go.

553
00:25:06,550 --> 00:25:07,590
Just grip it, grip it.

554
00:25:07,670 --> 00:25:09,360
Finger and thumb.
Finger and thumb, not too tight.

555
00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:11,720
I'm in. I'm in. I'm in.

556
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,550
- Here we come.
- Yeah.

557
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,100
- [Willy] Nice.
- [Caroline] Massage.

558
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,680
[Willy] That's good.
That's good, that one.

559
00:25:17,770 --> 00:25:18,930
That's good, now, eh?

560
00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:20,340
- [Caroline] Okay.
- [Willy] Okay.

561
00:25:20,390 --> 00:25:21,440
Oh, Willy.

562
00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:27,280
How we looking?

563
00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:29,950
The pot was left out too long.

564
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:32,070
There's a lot of slug damage,
but...

565
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:36,450
Did my best.

566
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:40,250
[sighs]
What are our chances, Willy?

567
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,880
We're growing
a world beater out of that.

568
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,010
Let's just focus on getting
through the night, yeah?

569
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:56,220
Yeah, Willy was a massive cheat.
Yeah.

570
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,720
He was a record holder
as well, you know.

571
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:03,560
He got his title stripped
at the 2006 Nationals

572
00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:07,230
for putting weights
in his pumpkins.

573
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,490
Uh, not been allowed within
100 feet of an allotment since.

574
00:26:15,780 --> 00:26:17,410
Last day of the trials today,

575
00:26:17,490 --> 00:26:20,000
so got to look
for some more work.

576
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,250
But I'm not worried,

577
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:22,810
something always comes up,
doesn't it?

578
00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:28,880
I swear that car's
been following us the whole way.

579
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,010
[suspenseful music]

580
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,440
[knocking]

581
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:49,780
- Hey-yo.
- [Paul] Hey.

582
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:52,530
Um, I'll just be a minute.
I'm boiling eggs, Caro.

583
00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:54,820
- If you want one, stick one in.
- Yeah.

584
00:26:56,620 --> 00:26:58,780
The case against
drilling company Xomort

585
00:26:58,870 --> 00:27:02,040
- was dropped today as...
- This is it? This is the trial?

586
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,410
...the woman's complaints
about them moving the site

587
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:07,420
<i>of their community center
didn't have any grounds.</i>

588
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:10,130
- Xomort's managing director...
- That's Mr. Anthony.

589
00:27:10,210 --> 00:27:12,110
[reporter]...spoke to
journalists after the trial.

590
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,300
Something quite sexy about him,
isn't there?

591
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,840
Yes, the company
has been a stalwart

592
00:27:16,930 --> 00:27:19,140
of the Somerset community
for 20 years

593
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:21,100
and can remain true
to that commitment now

594
00:27:21,180 --> 00:27:22,770
by not shutting down
their allotments

595
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:24,390
and community centers.

596
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,020
[Paul]
When Caroline fancies someone,

597
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:27,660
it's usually a sign
that they're a bit dodgy.

598
00:27:27,690 --> 00:27:30,730
She's got quite
a developed bad-man radar.

599
00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:33,530
Which is why she probably
never fancied me,

600
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:34,860
to be honest.

601
00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:37,360
This is the case I've been
working on. It's on telly.

602
00:27:37,450 --> 00:27:39,030
Yeah, yeah,
I've been following it.

603
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,990
That crooked MP's with him, too.

604
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,540
- What a bastard, eh?
- Shh.

605
00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:45,330
I mean, it's outrageous. They're
already drilling in our town

606
00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:47,330
and why they need to move
near us, I don't know.

607
00:27:47,420 --> 00:27:49,710
The community center
which they do workshops in

608
00:27:49,790 --> 00:27:51,550
for sick kids is moving

609
00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:53,670
and she don't want it
to be near her house.

610
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:54,800
[Paul sighs]

611
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,970
And they're not even,
like, infectious, are they?

612
00:28:00,050 --> 00:28:01,260
Huh?

613
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:03,970
You know, they're just a bit
wibbly-wobbly, aren't they?

614
00:28:04,980 --> 00:28:06,560
- I mean...
- They've got cancer, Paul.

615
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:07,940
- Ah, right. Oh.
- Yeah.

616
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,230
God, that woman.

617
00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:10,810
Our old site can now
expand safely,

618
00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:12,400
creating more jobs
in the community,

619
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,820
and our community center
and allotments now have

620
00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:17,240
a great new space
to move into across town.

621
00:28:17,860 --> 00:28:19,990
So how's the new plant looking
from Annette?

622
00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:21,830
Not doing great,
to be honest, mate.

623
00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:23,290
It's really struggling.

624
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,660
Gonna need some of your leads
to come through, Paul.

625
00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:27,500
Oh, I've got you
some good leads, Caro.

626
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:28,870
Don't you worry about that.

627
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,080
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

628
00:28:30,170 --> 00:28:32,750
- Wait till you see this.
- Oh.

629
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,550
Yeah, come here. Check this out.

630
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,930
Uh, this post here
has got 137 likes

631
00:28:38,010 --> 00:28:40,140
and 15 shares as well.

632
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:42,550
So the whole network
are on the lookout.

633
00:28:43,060 --> 00:28:44,810
Okay. And what are they saying?

634
00:28:45,310 --> 00:28:47,100
Uh, well,
check out the comments.

635
00:28:47,180 --> 00:28:49,100
Um, this woman here says
that one of the blokes

636
00:28:49,190 --> 00:28:51,730
that works at her garden center
has got a limp.

637
00:28:51,810 --> 00:28:54,320
Now, that guy
that was in your greenhouse,

638
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,000
he's got a bit of a limp,
didn't he, hey?

639
00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:57,820
- Did he have a limp?
- Yeah, yeah.

640
00:28:57,900 --> 00:28:59,700
- And what are the others saying?
- Oh, um...

641
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,570
How awful.
We need to talk, is that it?

642
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:03,180
No, he's a bit of a twat,
forget about it.

643
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,740
Okay. 5'9 and 5'10,
how did you know that?

644
00:29:06,250 --> 00:29:07,510
I thought that's
what you said, height.

645
00:29:07,540 --> 00:29:09,370
Did you speculate that
from the...

646
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:10,930
From the description,
you did that with your hand.

647
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,540
Yeah, uh, well,
I'm... I'm quite a big cheese

648
00:29:13,630 --> 00:29:16,050
on... on these encrypted forums.

649
00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:18,880
Um, if you look
under my, uh, alias,

650
00:29:18,970 --> 00:29:20,840
uh, it says "trusted source."

651
00:29:21,390 --> 00:29:23,800
Now, that's because,
uh, all the information

652
00:29:23,890 --> 00:29:27,220
that I have provided
has been corroborated,

653
00:29:27,310 --> 00:29:30,230
verified, and fact-checked.

654
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,230
[Kirsty]
So, who does the fact-checking?

655
00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:37,480
Um, well,
multiple anonymous accounts.

656
00:29:37,570 --> 00:29:39,990
People like me. Good guys.

657
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:42,410
[Caroline]
What a load of old tripe.

658
00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:44,870
[Paul] Caro, my friend Gavin
has solved three crimes

659
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:47,410
just by using Facebook,
so don't be so dismissive.

660
00:29:47,490 --> 00:29:48,600
There's nothing here,
though, mate.

661
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,760
What do you mean
there's nothing here?

662
00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:51,680
Well, I mean, you've had
three weeks to gather evidence

663
00:29:51,710 --> 00:29:53,230
and all you've got
is a guy with a limp.

664
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,290
He's not even got a limp.

665
00:29:54,380 --> 00:29:56,230
Well, what... what about
the guy from Rotherham?

666
00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,860
- What about him?
- Snooping round the allotments.

667
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,590
So they all think he's on meth.
Meth, Caroline.

668
00:30:00,670 --> 00:30:02,380
That is not one
of the fun drugs.

669
00:30:02,470 --> 00:30:04,720
- [knocking on door]
- Who's that?

670
00:30:05,350 --> 00:30:07,140
Just gonna get away
with this, aren't they?

671
00:30:07,220 --> 00:30:08,850
- [knocking on door]
- Fuck, shit.

672
00:30:08,930 --> 00:30:11,770
Could be the TV license people.
They keep writing to me.

673
00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:14,730
For fuck's sake.

674
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,990
Hi, have you considered
voting for...

675
00:30:24,070 --> 00:30:25,740
How did you get my address?

676
00:30:25,820 --> 00:30:27,620
Whatever list
you've got with my name on,

677
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:28,790
I want it taken off!

678
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,120
[sighs] Fucking hell.

679
00:30:46,390 --> 00:30:48,100
Oh, hiya, Caro, love.

680
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,350
- Hiya.
- How you doing?

681
00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:50,530
Have you come
for your pay packet?

682
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,810
Oh, no,
uh, Lawrence's paid me already.

683
00:30:52,890 --> 00:30:55,270
Oh, great, okay. Yeah, oh,
by the way, your notes?

684
00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:59,270
Oh, my God, you've been
doing such a good job.

685
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:00,820
I was just wondering if, uh...

686
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:03,610
you guys could
help me with my case.

687
00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:05,990
Oh, really? What?

688
00:31:06,070 --> 00:31:07,870
With your...
with your greenhouse?

689
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,280
Yeah.

690
00:31:09,370 --> 00:31:10,950
Like, I can pay.

691
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:15,040
- Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Or I... I could do installments.

692
00:31:15,870 --> 00:31:17,750
Or if you get
any more jobs I can do.

693
00:31:18,590 --> 00:31:21,170
Yeah, I mean,
yeah, um, well, you know,

694
00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,590
yeah, well, I can definitely...

695
00:31:23,670 --> 00:31:24,970
You know,
I can talk to Lawrence.

696
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,340
- Can you?
- Yeah, absolutely.

697
00:31:26,430 --> 00:31:29,100
- Thanks, Louise.
- Absolutely. Yeah.

698
00:31:30,220 --> 00:31:32,060
Hey, do you wanna, uh...

699
00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:33,740
I mean, do you wanna
come in for a drink,

700
00:31:33,770 --> 00:31:34,890
or what's your day like?

701
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,690
- It's a bit early for me.
- Okay, yeah. Suit yourself.

702
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,110
- Just me and Mr. Pussy here.
- [both chuckling]

703
00:31:43,190 --> 00:31:44,780
- Okay.
- Cheers.

704
00:31:44,860 --> 00:31:47,240
Okay, bye-bye.
Yeah, we'll... we'll be in touch.

705
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,820
- Oh, great.
- Okay, good luck.

706
00:31:48,910 --> 00:31:50,780
- Thank you.
- Okay, bye-bye. [chuckles]

707
00:31:53,950 --> 00:31:55,000
Mmm.

708
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,500
That is like a cheese sandwich.

709
00:31:58,130 --> 00:31:59,250
What does it taste like?

710
00:31:59,330 --> 00:32:00,480
[Kirsty] Like a cheese sandwich.

711
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,550
Hmm.

712
00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:05,590
Am I going mad,

713
00:32:05,670 --> 00:32:07,710
or is that the car that was
behind us the other day?

714
00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:10,410
- [Kirsty] Which one?
- [Caroline] There.

715
00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:12,970
- Parking next to the white van.
- [Kirsty] Oh, yeah.

716
00:32:14,470 --> 00:32:16,310
- I swear it was.
- [Kirsty] Hmm.

717
00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:19,900
- [phone ringing]
- Lawrence.

718
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:22,820
- Hi, Lawrence.
- [Lawrence] Uh, hi, Caroline.

719
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,030
[Kirsty] Put him on speaker.

720
00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,940
[Lawrence]
I heard you spoke to Louise.

721
00:32:26,030 --> 00:32:27,070
Oh, yeah.

722
00:32:27,150 --> 00:32:28,820
[Lawrence]
Well, look, we were wondering.

723
00:32:28,910 --> 00:32:30,780
You know the Xomort allotments?

724
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,530
The ones they're clearing out?

725
00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:33,950
Yeah, moving them all.

726
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,470
[Lawrence] There are
some temporary structures

727
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,830
that have gone up there.

728
00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:39,290
It wouldn't be good for me
and Louise to be seen there,

729
00:32:39,370 --> 00:32:41,920
but do you think
you can check it out for us?

730
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,380
Structures? Yeah, yeah.

731
00:32:44,460 --> 00:32:45,920
And will you start on my...

732
00:32:46,010 --> 00:32:47,970
[Lawrence] We'll start
on your marrow thief, yeah.

733
00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:50,640
Thanks, Lawrence.

734
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,030
[Lawrence] But Caroline, you've
got to stay discreet, yeah?

735
00:32:53,050 --> 00:32:55,770
Just find out what the
structures are and report back.

736
00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:58,520
- Don't speak to anyone.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

737
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,230
All good.
Won't let you down, Lawrence.

738
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,280
See? Something always
comes up, doesn't it?

739
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,780
See? Look. It's that car.

740
00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:12,280
[suspenseful music]

741
00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:13,700
That's freaked me out.

742
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:17,950
Do you mind if
we just go and do something?

743
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,550
I hate being followed.
It's intrusive, isn't it?

744
00:33:25,630 --> 00:33:26,800
And Paul had made it worse

745
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,840
because, uh, there's
always something with him.

746
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,510
You know, there's
a conspiracy or something,

747
00:33:31,590 --> 00:33:33,890
and it made me really paranoid.

748
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,600
- [chain rattling]
- [Caroline grunts]

749
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,940
You can't be too careful
with everything that's going on,

750
00:33:44,020 --> 00:33:46,440
so... a knot in this one.

751
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:48,570
That's it. [groans]

752
00:33:50,860 --> 00:33:53,030
[panting]

753
00:33:53,660 --> 00:33:55,870
Yeah, man, good one.
It'll be all right.

754
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,540
Look at the growth on that.

755
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
We've isolated this vegetable.

756
00:34:08,090 --> 00:34:10,420
Call him Ricky Hatton because
he's a fighter. [chuckles]

757
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,840
Hey-up, Willy.

758
00:34:14,590 --> 00:34:16,350
- Hey, Caroline.
- [Caroline] How's it going?

759
00:34:16,850 --> 00:34:18,140
Yeah?

760
00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:20,270
- Talking to Ricky?
- Yeah.

761
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,640
Bringing him on a little bit.

762
00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:25,230
[Kirsty] You called your marrow
Ricky Hatton?

763
00:34:25,310 --> 00:34:26,820
Yeah, yeah.

764
00:34:27,770 --> 00:34:30,240
I wanted to call it
"Marrow-lin" Monroe, but...

765
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,760
Thought it was a bit naff,
didn't we, Will?

766
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:35,370
Yeah, she doesn't even box.

767
00:34:36,070 --> 00:34:38,080
Yeah, she doesn't box.

768
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:40,410
[laughing]

769
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,250
"Marrow-lin" Monroe.

770
00:34:43,210 --> 00:34:45,630
Um, "Marrow-lin" Manson.

771
00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:49,000
Um, "Marrow-lin" McCready.

772
00:34:51,260 --> 00:34:52,880
[Kirsty] Who's Marilyn McCready?

773
00:34:52,970 --> 00:34:54,930
Oh, she was a girl
I was at college with.

774
00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:57,050
But we thought it was
a good omen because she was...

775
00:34:58,050 --> 00:34:59,100
big.

776
00:34:59,930 --> 00:35:01,470
Used to call her 3D McCready,

777
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,700
because when she walked
into a room,

778
00:35:02,730 --> 00:35:04,090
she was here,
there and everywhere.

779
00:35:08,270 --> 00:35:09,610
[phone chimes]

780
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,250
- Caroline, are you okay?
- Yeah.

781
00:35:27,130 --> 00:35:29,380
Keith's got testicular cancer,
Willy.

782
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:33,420
- That's... That's my ex-husband.
- Ha!

783
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,840
Ha!

784
00:35:36,590 --> 00:35:38,640
[Willy laughing]

785
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:39,970
Yeah, I... I get it. I get it.

786
00:35:40,060 --> 00:35:42,140
He's... He's... He's one ball
in the grave, isn't he?

787
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,140
He's gone balls deep in the...

788
00:35:45,230 --> 00:35:47,810
I think...
I think he's dying, Willy.

789
00:35:50,860 --> 00:35:51,940
Do you think she's mad?

790
00:35:52,730 --> 00:35:54,150
I wouldn't have said it.

791
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,520
I shouldn't have said it,
really.

792
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,740
I didn't know
she was not joking,

793
00:35:58,820 --> 00:36:00,910
because, well,
she makes really funny jokes,

794
00:36:00,990 --> 00:36:04,040
but this time I didn't know
she was talking about,

795
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,710
um, ball cancer.

796
00:36:20,550 --> 00:36:21,670
[Caroline clears her throat]

797
00:36:22,350 --> 00:36:23,560
All right.

798
00:36:25,930 --> 00:36:27,890
[sighs]

799
00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:30,980
[clears throat]

800
00:36:34,230 --> 00:36:35,280
[Willy] Caroline!

801
00:36:35,990 --> 00:36:38,030
- Caroline!
- [Caroline] Oh, no.

802
00:36:40,030 --> 00:36:41,370
Caroline, I'm so sorry.

803
00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:43,830
I... I... um, I wouldn't have
said it, you know I wouldn't,

804
00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:45,750
if... I thought
you were joking, so...

805
00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:48,040
It's all right, Willy.

806
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,460
I know I said I wanted him dead,

807
00:36:49,540 --> 00:36:51,580
but not literally, you know?

808
00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:54,630
You going through town?
Drop me off at the Asda?

809
00:36:54,710 --> 00:36:56,670
Got stuff to do, Willy.

810
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,010
It's okay.

811
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,760
- I'll come with you.
- Get in, yeah, just get in.

812
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,050
- No rush.
- No rush.

813
00:37:03,050 --> 00:37:04,100
Brilliant.

814
00:37:05,270 --> 00:37:07,230
- Hey, hey, Caroline.
- Oh, no, another one.

815
00:37:07,310 --> 00:37:08,950
- Hey, where are you going?
- [Caroline] Hey?

816
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:10,020
We need to talk.

817
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:11,540
Got to go to the Xomort
allotments, mate.

818
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,000
Allotments?
I can't go to the allotments.

819
00:37:13,020 --> 00:37:15,230
- I'm sorry, no.
- Well, that's up to you, Willy.

820
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,360
Listen, I'll come with.

821
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,750
I've got to tell you
about some new leads.

822
00:37:17,780 --> 00:37:19,590
[Caroline] Right, Willy,
are you in or out, then?

823
00:37:19,610 --> 00:37:21,870
Technically, my ban is over,
but it is, you know,

824
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,080
Having been banned,
it's gonna be pretty...

825
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,200
Let's go, let's go.

826
00:37:25,290 --> 00:37:27,040
Now, then,
if this isn't suspicious,

827
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,330
then I don't know what is.

828
00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:32,000
Over the last ten days or so
at the Artisan Vegan Café,

829
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,210
the daily specials have included
some of the following.

830
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:36,840
Marrow risotto.

831
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,470
Well, you should always

832
00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:41,380
and only talk about your leads
in person,

833
00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:42,890
never on the phone.

834
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:46,720
I learned that
from watching JFK,

835
00:37:46,810 --> 00:37:48,930
The Conversation, Goodfellas.

836
00:37:49,020 --> 00:37:50,540
You can learn a lot
from watching movies,

837
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,480
as students watching this
will attest.

838
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:54,400
Now, just stay here.

839
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,860
I'll only be a few minutes.

840
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:00,650
[Carol sighs]

841
00:38:07,910 --> 00:38:09,120
- Carol.
- What?

842
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,040
This is where Tony Knight
grows his vegetables.

843
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,880
Paul, just stay in the car.
Paul, what are you doing?

844
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,060
Just gonna have a quick
look round,

845
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,270
seeing as we're here,
do some recon.

846
00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:18,130
No, Lawrence said
to be discreet, mate.

847
00:38:18,210 --> 00:38:19,770
- Please, just...
- Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence.

848
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,970
Do you think
I've not done recon before?

849
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:24,680
- Have you, really?
- Yes.

850
00:38:25,430 --> 00:38:27,220
Ten minutes,
be back in ten minutes.

851
00:38:27,310 --> 00:38:28,680
- Copy that.
- Copy that.

852
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,940
Willy, what are you doing?
No, stay in the car.

853
00:38:32,020 --> 00:38:34,650
I can't stay there on my own,
people'll think I'm a lurker.

854
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,440
[Caroline sighs]

855
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:43,700
[suspenseful music]

856
00:38:49,330 --> 00:38:50,700
[Kirsty] So where are we, Willy?

857
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:55,330
We, uh, we are in the, um,
allotments belonging to Xomort.

858
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,460
Um, the community center's
just there,

859
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,760
and, uh, the drilling's
over there,

860
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,220
and, uh, they are pretty
nice allotments,

861
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:05,430
I used to have one...

862
00:39:06,390 --> 00:39:08,930
until, uh, they took it
away from me.

863
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:10,770
Don't wanna talk about it.

864
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,200
Are these just temporary
water tanks? These, Willy?

865
00:39:13,230 --> 00:39:14,810
Oh, yes, yes.

866
00:39:15,810 --> 00:39:16,900
- Huh?
- Temporary.

867
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,360
- [distant popping]
- [Paul screaming]

868
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,790
- Shit, what was that?
- [Paul] Fuck!

869
00:39:20,820 --> 00:39:22,440
- [gunshot popping]
- [Paul] Fuck!

870
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:25,450
- Shit! Aah!
- Is that Paul?

871
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,620
- [Willy] Paul?
- [Paul moaning]

872
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:29,240
- [Paul] I'm hit!
- [Caroline] Paul!

873
00:39:29,870 --> 00:39:31,350
- Paul, what are you doing?
- I'm hit!

874
00:39:31,740 --> 00:39:33,000
I've been shot.

875
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,870
What do you mean
you've been shot?

876
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,420
[Paul] Oh, shit.

877
00:39:37,330 --> 00:39:40,750
Shit, it's Tony Knight,
he's got a gun.

878
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:42,670
[Paul] I'm dying.

879
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,320
- What are you scaring off?
- [Tony] Hear him?

880
00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:45,550
[Linda] Oh, no, no, no, no!

881
00:39:45,630 --> 00:39:47,550
- Ton... no, Tony, stop!
- Tony, it's me!

882
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,510
- Hey!
- Stop it, stop it! Stop!

883
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,060
- What?
- Stop it!

884
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,560
I'm hit!
Caroline, I've been hit.

885
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,730
[Tony] Creeping around
about my marrows.

886
00:39:59,650 --> 00:40:00,770
I'm gonna defend them.

887
00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:01,900
Could have been this.

888
00:40:02,690 --> 00:40:03,990
Could have been my fists.

889
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,990
In a way,
he's lucky it was this.

890
00:40:07,070 --> 00:40:08,660
What is going on?

891
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:10,180
- What's he doing here?
- You shot me!

892
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,410
I'm not banned anymore, Tony,
not banned anymore.

893
00:40:12,490 --> 00:40:14,000
I was just on a stroll, Tony.

894
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,960
Sorry, we're gonna go now.
Paul, come on.

895
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,710
Um, excuse me, my brother's got
a first aid Kit.

896
00:40:18,790 --> 00:40:21,090
Well, go and get it then,
God's sake.

897
00:40:21,170 --> 00:40:22,880
I can't believe you shot me.

898
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,090
It's just an air rifle,
it's not too bad.

899
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:26,970
Galahad 303.

900
00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:28,800
East German, late '70s.

901
00:40:28,890 --> 00:40:30,300
The Galahad 303,

902
00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:32,640
I've not seen that rifle
in years.

903
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:33,850
It's more like a musket.

904
00:40:33,930 --> 00:40:35,480
Scope on it's three to nine mag.

905
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:36,640
Range, 60 yards.

906
00:40:36,730 --> 00:40:38,390
But I could knock a cock off
at 30.

907
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,370
Yeah, no wonder he missed
three out of four shots,

908
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,730
got a better chance of hitting
a target with a boomerang.

909
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:44,320
Get me the first aid kit, man.

910
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,530
- Are you stupid?
- He's not stupid.

911
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:49,530
He's deaf, can you not talk
to him like that? Honestly.

912
00:40:49,610 --> 00:40:51,450
Hey! Did you just
call me a wanker?

913
00:40:51,530 --> 00:40:52,930
[Tony] I'm gonna have
to report this.

914
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:56,120
[Paul] I'm not a wanker, he's
the one using the Galahad 303.

915
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,710
What is this, mate, 20097?

916
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:00,040
Please stop it!

917
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,880
- Tony, we're gonna go now.
- Have a look at me here, Tony!

918
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,090
You can't move me!

919
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:06,380
I've done my time, Tony!

920
00:41:06,460 --> 00:41:10,090
You wanker, wanker, wanker,

921
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,300
wanker, wanker!

922
00:41:13,010 --> 00:41:15,310
I don't know
why he called me a wanker.

923
00:41:15,930 --> 00:41:17,480
I've never met the lad.

924
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,270
- Hey, we're gonna go now.
- Wanker!

925
00:41:19,350 --> 00:41:22,110
- Help me. Help me.
- Wanker!

926
00:41:22,190 --> 00:41:24,980
[sighs] Paul's just like,

927
00:41:25,070 --> 00:41:27,400
he's just alluring to himself,
really.

928
00:41:28,860 --> 00:41:30,860
Everything he touches
turns to shit.

929
00:41:31,410 --> 00:41:33,870
I mean, maybe, uh...
[clears throat] I was suffering

930
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:35,950
a bit of the red mist
on the battlefield,

931
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,370
but then, hey-ho,
all's fair in love and war.

932
00:41:39,460 --> 00:41:41,420
[Paul grunting]

933
00:41:42,170 --> 00:41:43,840
Don't take me to hospital, Caro.

934
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,800
You go in with gunshot wounds,

935
00:41:47,550 --> 00:41:49,050
they put you on the list.

936
00:41:49,130 --> 00:41:50,510
I wasn't going to, Paul.

937
00:41:55,010 --> 00:41:56,890
You will take me to Asda,
though, won't you?

938
00:41:57,720 --> 00:41:58,850
I can't be late again.

939
00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:04,690
[cell phone ringing]

940
00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:12,910
[Caroline sighs]

941
00:42:12,990 --> 00:42:14,070
[cell phone ringing]

942
00:42:17,740 --> 00:42:19,580
- Oh, hiya, Lawrence.
- [Lawrence] Caroline.

943
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,960
I've been trying
to reach you for ages.

944
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,500
Uh, yeah, yeah, no,
sorry about that.

945
00:42:25,590 --> 00:42:27,100
[Lawrence] What the hell
happened yesterday?

946
00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,960
I said be discreet,
but then there you were,

947
00:42:29,050 --> 00:42:30,720
down there with
a flippin' camera crew.

948
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,010
- Yeah...
- Did someone get shot?

949
00:42:33,090 --> 00:42:35,930
Oh, yeah, just...
just a little bit.

950
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,960
[Lawrence] Only a little
bit shot?

951
00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:39,470
Yeah, well,
it was just an air rifle,

952
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:40,980
and he milked it, so.

953
00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:42,520
[Lawrence sighs]
Caroline, look, uh,

954
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,980
I'm afraid this isn't gonna
work for us in this arrangement.

955
00:42:46,610 --> 00:42:48,500
You did great in the courtroom,
but I don't think

956
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,090
there's anything else
you can do for us.

957
00:42:50,530 --> 00:42:52,280
Right, um...

958
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,450
no, I understand, yeah.

959
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:58,080
[Lawrence] But we've made a few
inroads into your case, though.

960
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,930
You can come and get your file,
if you'd like.

961
00:42:59,950 --> 00:43:02,000
And if you didn't find
the money, we'll pick it up.

962
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,370
How's that? A mate's rate.

963
00:43:05,210 --> 00:43:07,500
Yeah, mate... mate's rates, yeah.

964
00:43:07,590 --> 00:43:10,460
Um, I'm so sorry,
Lawrence, again.

965
00:43:10,550 --> 00:43:12,310
- Just really sorry.
- [Lawrence] No worries.

966
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:15,260
- Sorry.
- [Lawrence] Yeah, no worries.

967
00:43:15,890 --> 00:43:17,430
Bye, bye.

968
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:27,400
[somber music]

969
00:43:40,620 --> 00:43:43,540
- Got you a can of Coke, Kirsty.
- [Kirsty] Cheers.

970
00:43:46,370 --> 00:43:47,500
There you go.

971
00:43:55,340 --> 00:43:56,970
Best chips in town, them.

972
00:43:58,010 --> 00:43:59,050
That sausage.

973
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,680
Always helps
when you've had a shit day.

974
00:44:03,350 --> 00:44:05,120
[Kirsty] Do you feel like
Lawrence was justified

975
00:44:05,140 --> 00:44:06,190
in what he said?

976
00:44:06,730 --> 00:44:07,770
[Caroline] Probably, yeah.

977
00:44:08,350 --> 00:44:10,690
I mean,
he'd asked me to be careful.

978
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,030
But I think it'll be all right.

979
00:44:15,650 --> 00:44:16,780
We'll see, won't we?

980
00:44:18,070 --> 00:44:20,490
You know, things go wrong,
don't they, in life?

981
00:44:20,580 --> 00:44:21,930
- You've just got to...
- [cell phone ringing]

982
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:24,450
You've just gotta
take the rough with the smooth.

983
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,420
- This might be him now.
- [cell phone ringing]

984
00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:28,540
Um...

985
00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:31,500
Uh...

986
00:44:34,210 --> 00:44:35,550
Mind if I just take this?

987
00:44:37,220 --> 00:44:38,260
[Keith] Caro.

988
00:44:41,140 --> 00:44:42,180
Caroline.

989
00:44:42,260 --> 00:44:43,430
[Caroline] Yeah? What?

990
00:44:44,470 --> 00:44:45,980
What are you calling me for?

991
00:44:47,980 --> 00:44:49,560
[Keith] I'm dying, Caro.

992
00:44:49,650 --> 00:44:51,450
[Caroline] Yeah, I know, you...
you texted me.

993
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,570
[Keith] Right.

994
00:44:53,230 --> 00:44:55,860
Uh, well, I'm just
calling some people.

995
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,240
I wanted to say some things.

996
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,200
[Caroline] Why... Why...
Why, Keith?

997
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,370
[Keith] I don't know,
because I do.

998
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:05,910
Right.

999
00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:08,540
Go on, then.

1000
00:45:10,540 --> 00:45:11,710
[Keith] How are you?

1001
00:45:11,790 --> 00:45:14,550
- Yeah, I'm good, Keith, yeah.
- [Keith] Okay.

1002
00:45:15,170 --> 00:45:18,010
Well, I guess all
I wanted to say

1003
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:21,590
was that I did love you,
Caroline.

1004
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:22,970
Shut up, you dickhead.

1005
00:45:23,050 --> 00:45:25,890
[Keith chuckles]
Yeah, I know, I know.

1006
00:45:25,970 --> 00:45:30,690
[somber music]

1007
00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:34,610
You just think about a lot
of things, don't you?

1008
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,080
Don't think I'm gonna give you
any sympathy

1009
00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:39,530
- 'cause you're dying.
- [Keith chuckles]

1010
00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:41,910
I don't want sympathy.

1011
00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:43,780
[laughs] That's why I came
to you, didn't I?

1012
00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:46,540
- Give me that tough love.
- [Caroline chuckles]

1013
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,620
Still, fuck off. Hmm!

1014
00:45:50,290 --> 00:45:53,000
[Keith] Yeah, well,
not long now.

1015
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:56,920
Take care of yourself, Caro.

1016
00:45:59,670 --> 00:46:00,970
Bye, Caroline.

1017
00:46:02,050 --> 00:46:03,470
Goodbye, Keith.

1018
00:46:03,550 --> 00:46:08,100
[sorrowful music]

1019
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,680
[crew member] You don't have
to talk about it.

1020
00:46:30,710 --> 00:46:31,870
I'd prefer not to.

1021
00:46:33,620 --> 00:46:34,670
Thanks.

1022
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:40,800
[bag rustling]

1023
00:46:48,430 --> 00:46:49,470
[microwave buttons beep]

1024
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,060
[Caroline groans]

1025
00:46:56,770 --> 00:46:57,980
[Caroline sighs]

1026
00:46:58,070 --> 00:47:00,480
- [crunching noise]
- [Caroline screaming]

1027
00:47:01,190 --> 00:47:02,450
Oh, my God!

1028
00:47:02,530 --> 00:47:04,160
What are you doing sat here?

1029
00:47:04,740 --> 00:47:06,320
What are you sat
in the dark for?

1030
00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:07,450
What's that?

1031
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:09,990
Why are you whispering?

1032
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:11,200
What's...

1033
00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:13,180
- Whoa, I'm not in the mood.
- [Paul] Shh! Shh, shh.

1034
00:47:13,210 --> 00:47:16,540
[muffled squealing] Stop it!

1035
00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:17,940
- Shh! Shh, shh.
- Let go. What are you doing?

1036
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,000
- Caro, Caro!
- Stop it.

1037
00:47:21,340 --> 00:47:22,670
What's he doing?

1038
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,010
[machine whirring]

1039
00:47:24,090 --> 00:47:25,340
Caro!

1040
00:47:25,430 --> 00:47:28,050
That is an RF transmitter,

1041
00:47:28,140 --> 00:47:29,680
a listening device.

1042
00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:32,600
We found it in the greenhouse.

1043
00:47:33,270 --> 00:47:34,440
- What?
- What?

1044
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:35,980
- Are you kidding me?
- Speak up.

1045
00:47:36,060 --> 00:47:37,650
- Are you kidding me?
- Just... Just...

1046
00:47:37,730 --> 00:47:40,610
Did it hurt when Caroline
called those two perverts

1047
00:47:40,690 --> 00:47:42,490
to work on the case
instead of me?

1048
00:47:43,610 --> 00:47:44,650
Yes, it did.

1049
00:47:45,700 --> 00:47:47,320
But who found
the listening device?

1050
00:47:48,030 --> 00:47:49,080
I did.

1051
00:47:50,910 --> 00:47:52,580
[Kirsty] Didn't Willy find it?

1052
00:47:52,660 --> 00:47:53,940
Willy found it, yes,
technically,

1053
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,410
but who was the one he called?

1054
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:56,540
Me.

1055
00:47:56,620 --> 00:47:59,380
That plant is not safe here.

1056
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:04,050
We need to get it and you
out of here, ASAP.

1057
00:48:04,130 --> 00:48:05,590
But where are we gonna go?

1058
00:48:05,670 --> 00:48:07,800
Don't worry about that,
because we've got it sorted.

1059
00:48:07,890 --> 00:48:09,930
Apparently,
Willy's mum's got a little place

1060
00:48:10,010 --> 00:48:11,680
with a garden that we can...

1061
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:12,810
[whirring stops]

1062
00:48:14,180 --> 00:48:16,230
[machine whirring]

1063
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,400
You can stay
at Willy's mum's place

1064
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,780
until after the competition.

1065
00:48:25,950 --> 00:48:27,150
Okay.

1066
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,330
Turn it off, Willy, turn it off.

1067
00:48:34,450 --> 00:48:36,330
[neighbor] Can you please

1068
00:48:36,410 --> 00:48:38,500
shut the fuck up?

1069
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:41,960
Sad.

1070
00:48:42,380 --> 00:48:44,760
How are we gonna fit
Ricky in the car?

1071
00:48:45,590 --> 00:48:47,430
You sure
he's all right in there, Willy?

1072
00:48:47,510 --> 00:48:49,760
Look, Ricky's doing fine, Caro,
just get in the car.

1073
00:48:53,010 --> 00:48:55,430
[whispering] I can't do that.
Oh, shit.

1074
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,270
I can't close it
because of the...

1075
00:48:57,350 --> 00:48:58,950
Look, I'm getting scratched
to shit here,

1076
00:48:59,020 --> 00:49:00,310
just get a move on.

1077
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:01,730
[car starts]

1078
00:49:01,810 --> 00:49:03,860
Willy, you'll have to give me
directions.

1079
00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:06,360
Just head south out of town,
and I'll take you from there.

1080
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,510
[Caroline] When we found out
we were being listened to,

1081
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:11,910
we just had to get out of there.

1082
00:49:11,990 --> 00:49:14,950
You just never know what these
big veg growers are capable of.

1083
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,960
- See that car behind us?
- What car?

1084
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,880
That car's been following us
all week, hasn't it, Kirsty?

1085
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,000
- Shit!
- What?

1086
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,290
We're gonna have to lose 'em.

1087
00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:24,980
How are we gonna do that
with the boot open?

1088
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,310
How many cars you see with
the boot open?

1089
00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:28,530
- Make that right, there!
- We're not going that way, Paul.

1090
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,110
- Just do it!
- Oh, no, we're going left,

1091
00:49:30,130 --> 00:49:32,470
- we're going left, right, Willy?
- Run it, Caro!

1092
00:49:32,550 --> 00:49:34,310
I'm trying not to fucking die,
Paul.

1093
00:49:34,390 --> 00:49:35,760
Oh, shit!

1094
00:49:35,850 --> 00:49:38,640
I've just been flashed now,
that's 80 quid.

1095
00:49:38,730 --> 00:49:41,020
- Did they run it?
- I can't see 'em.

1096
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,440
There's a car park up there.

1097
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,110
- Go, go, go!
- I'm going, I'm going!

1098
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,610
Paul, stop it!

1099
00:49:46,820 --> 00:49:47,860
Oh, shit.

1100
00:49:47,940 --> 00:49:49,550
Maybe they weren't following us
after all.

1101
00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:50,910
I don't think so.

1102
00:49:50,990 --> 00:49:53,740
- [Paul] Oh! Oh!
- [Caroline] Oh, fuck!

1103
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:58,620
[Willy] I think your back end's
fallen off, Caro.

1104
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:00,460
Oh, Willy.

1105
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:02,580
Right, then.

1106
00:50:03,380 --> 00:50:05,180
We're gonna need
to get this car off the road.

1107
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,670
How far
is your mum's house, Willy?

1108
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:09,840
Not far.

1109
00:50:12,380 --> 00:50:13,720
[Paul sighs]

1110
00:50:15,550 --> 00:50:17,180
That's it, over the top, Willy.

1111
00:50:19,230 --> 00:50:20,770
That's it, put it down.

1112
00:50:20,850 --> 00:50:22,900
Right, you need to rope that on
with something.

1113
00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:24,270
Double knot it.

1114
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,320
Anchor point that side,
anchor point this side.

1115
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,440
Should be fine.

1116
00:50:27,530 --> 00:50:32,070
[grandiose music]

1117
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:37,580
[Caroline]
Is that your house, Willy?

1118
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:39,040
[Willy] Oh, well,
my mum's house.

1119
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,660
She... She got it in the divorce.

1120
00:50:40,750 --> 00:50:44,500
[Paul] Who did she divorce,
the fucking king?

1121
00:50:44,580 --> 00:50:49,550
[intriguing music]

1122
00:51:00,390 --> 00:51:02,690
King Willy... [laughing]

1123
00:51:02,770 --> 00:51:05,060
-...we called him.
- One of the landed gentry.

1124
00:51:05,150 --> 00:51:06,560
I love the house.

1125
00:51:06,650 --> 00:51:08,170
Born with a silver teaspoon
up his backside.

1126
00:51:08,190 --> 00:51:09,580
- Freezing, though.
- Cost a fortune just

1127
00:51:09,610 --> 00:51:11,690
- to have the windows cleaned.
- Couldn't live there.

1128
00:51:12,650 --> 00:51:14,150
- Sugar?
- Thank you.

1129
00:51:16,820 --> 00:51:18,490
- Thanks.
- Thank you.

1130
00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:32,260
[line ringing]

1131
00:51:33,050 --> 00:51:34,220
Who are you calling?

1132
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:36,090
- Lawrence and Louise.
- Oh, what?

1133
00:51:36,180 --> 00:51:37,680
You don't need 'em, Caro.

1134
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,510
I've got the number plate
of that car.

1135
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,470
- Have you?
- Yeah, I'm locking it up now.

1136
00:51:42,390 --> 00:51:44,560
Mother's gone to bed early,
I'm afraid,

1137
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,900
but, uh, she says

1138
00:51:46,980 --> 00:51:49,110
you are both
more than welcome to stay.

1139
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,650
Quelle surprise, Malcolm
has over-brewed the tea again.

1140
00:51:53,740 --> 00:51:55,450
So it's a Range Rover.

1141
00:51:55,530 --> 00:51:57,410
Color, Peruvian black.

1142
00:51:57,490 --> 00:51:59,660
Passed its MOT last October.

1143
00:51:59,740 --> 00:52:01,290
And it says here,

1144
00:52:01,370 --> 00:52:05,540
offside front tire,
worn close to legal limit.

1145
00:52:06,460 --> 00:52:07,860
What's that got to do
with anything?

1146
00:52:08,420 --> 00:52:10,210
- It's intel, Caro.
- Oh.

1147
00:52:10,290 --> 00:52:12,960
Willy, has your mum got
a car here that you can drive?

1148
00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:14,380
A couple, yeah.

1149
00:52:14,470 --> 00:52:16,150
Can you take me to Lawrence
and Louise's in the morning?

1150
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:18,050
I'm just getting it all up here.

1151
00:52:18,140 --> 00:52:20,010
[sighs] Right, I'm going to bed.

1152
00:52:21,140 --> 00:52:23,930
Top floor, um,
along the corridor, 13th room.

1153
00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:25,980
Um, Malcolm's turned down
the bed

1154
00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,500
and left fresh towels
in the armoire.

1155
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:28,810
Good night.

1156
00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:31,270
[Paul] Yeah, she wanted
to call up Lawrence and Louise,

1157
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:32,520
I have no problem with that.

1158
00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:34,410
[crew member] It didn't
bother you that she...

1159
00:52:34,990 --> 00:52:36,360
wanted to go and see them?

1160
00:52:36,450 --> 00:52:37,860
Not in the slightest.

1161
00:52:37,950 --> 00:52:39,240
Next question.

1162
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:41,490
[birds chirping]

1163
00:52:47,710 --> 00:52:50,710
["Real Bad Lookin"
by Alex Cameron playing]

1164
00:53:06,770 --> 00:53:11,440
<i>♪ I am the drunkest,
ugliest girl at the bar ♪</i>

1165
00:53:14,860 --> 00:53:17,490
♪ Oh well I'm scheming,
and I'm scheming ♪

1166
00:53:17,570 --> 00:53:20,780
♪ And I'm scheming,
and I'm gonna go far ♪

1167
00:53:25,660 --> 00:53:30,540
<i>♪ All the boys,
yeah they think I'm a star ♪</i>

1168
00:53:33,790 --> 00:53:36,260
♪ Because I'm drinking,
and I'm drinking ♪

1169
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:39,590
♪ And I'm drinking,
yeah I go pretty hard ♪

1170
00:53:43,050 --> 00:53:46,390
♪ I get a pinch on my ass ♪

1171
00:53:46,470 --> 00:53:48,890
<i>♪ When I lean on the sill ♪</i>

1172
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,020
♪ And then I bent it,
and I bent it ♪

1173
00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:58,610
♪ And I bent it
but not to pick up the bill ♪

1174
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,660
♪ My husband's at work ♪

1175
00:54:04,740 --> 00:54:07,910
<i>♪ My baby's in a Daewoo sauna ♪</i>

1176
00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:12,500
[Kirsty] Did you expect this
of Willy?

1177
00:54:13,630 --> 00:54:14,750
No.

1178
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,460
He eats home brand everything.

1179
00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:18,920
I mean,
he never buys anything new.

1180
00:54:19,010 --> 00:54:20,050
He's never got any money.

1181
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:30,600
Easy does it, Tiger.

1182
00:54:31,230 --> 00:54:32,310
Willy!

1183
00:54:32,390 --> 00:54:34,190
Where did you
pull this one from?

1184
00:54:35,310 --> 00:54:37,400
- Got me a spare.
- "Got me a spare."

1185
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,230
Right, let's go. [laughs]

1186
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:41,360
Hey!

1187
00:54:43,610 --> 00:54:48,490
[cheerful music]

1188
00:54:49,410 --> 00:54:51,120
What do you got here, Willy?

1189
00:54:51,210 --> 00:54:53,080
Come on! Is this your Mom's?

1190
00:54:57,670 --> 00:55:01,840
Do I look like Grace Kelly?
In the moonlight. [chuckles]

1191
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,510
Yes!

1192
00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:05,890
- You're a disgraced Kelly.
- [laughing]

1193
00:55:10,810 --> 00:55:12,770
[line ringing]

1194
00:55:16,310 --> 00:55:18,320
[line ringing]

1195
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:19,500
[automated voice] I'm sorry.

1196
00:55:19,530 --> 00:55:21,360
He's not answering the phone,
Willy.

1197
00:55:22,530 --> 00:55:23,570
[knocking lightly]

1198
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,410
Caroline?

1199
00:55:27,490 --> 00:55:29,830
- [crew member] Yeah, look.
- It's open... an opening.

1200
00:55:30,910 --> 00:55:36,080
[suspenseful music]

1201
00:55:40,460 --> 00:55:41,510
[Caroline] Hello?

1202
00:55:42,010 --> 00:55:43,260
Lawrence?

1203
00:55:45,470 --> 00:55:47,590
- [Willy] They've been robbed.
- [Caroline] Louise?

1204
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:48,800
Or attacked.

1205
00:55:51,220 --> 00:55:54,690
Oh, they do have
these parties and...

1206
00:55:55,980 --> 00:55:58,190
sometimes they can get
a little bit out of hand.

1207
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,740
I'm a modern man,
each to their own.

1208
00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:08,240
It's not for me, really.

1209
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:10,530
I don't quite know
what happens there.

1210
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,580
Put 'er down, Willy.

1211
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,250
You're not just tied up
somewhere, are you?

1212
00:56:16,330 --> 00:56:20,670
Um, I suppose if I was
being really open-minded,

1213
00:56:20,750 --> 00:56:22,210
I'd probably go and watch.

1214
00:56:24,090 --> 00:56:28,720
[mysterious music]

1215
00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:34,770
[door creaks]

1216
00:56:39,900 --> 00:56:41,660
- [camera beeps]
- [muffled talking on video]

1217
00:56:49,450 --> 00:56:50,700
Caro?

1218
00:56:51,870 --> 00:56:53,580
Caroline, you got to see this.

1219
00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:58,080
Willy, I found the files
for the marrows brief.

1220
00:56:58,170 --> 00:57:00,380
- What are you watching that for?
- Have a look at this.

1221
00:57:00,460 --> 00:57:01,500
You've gotta to see it.

1222
00:57:02,340 --> 00:57:03,840
I don't wanna see that, Willy.

1223
00:57:05,550 --> 00:57:06,590
Which Willy?

1224
00:57:07,470 --> 00:57:08,510
Here.

1225
00:57:09,300 --> 00:57:10,340
Look at this bit.

1226
00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:12,550
[woman] Oh, yeah!

1227
00:57:13,260 --> 00:57:14,700
[people all talking at once
in video]

1228
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:18,020
Oh, well, that's looking
lovely, right?

1229
00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:20,980
[muffled talking on video]

1230
00:57:21,060 --> 00:57:22,610
Now, so many people are going...

1231
00:57:22,690 --> 00:57:23,730
Hmm!

1232
00:57:23,820 --> 00:57:25,650
[people all talking
at once on video]

1233
00:57:25,730 --> 00:57:26,780
It's all set!

1234
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:27,900
[man] Wait!

1235
00:57:28,450 --> 00:57:30,450
Everybody outside,
you're coming with us.

1236
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:32,570
- [man 2] Get out, now.
- Move!

1237
00:57:32,660 --> 00:57:35,330
- That shit's not...
- I'm not fucking joking, move!

1238
00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:36,500
Jesus Christ.

1239
00:57:36,580 --> 00:57:38,410
Is that something
they normally do?

1240
00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:41,880
I don't know.
Could be into that.

1241
00:57:42,420 --> 00:57:43,700
What do you think
they're asking?

1242
00:57:45,460 --> 00:57:46,550
I don't know.

1243
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,930
I can't move, I'm strapped in.

1244
00:57:50,010 --> 00:57:51,780
Please, he's strapped in.
He's got very sensitive skin.

1245
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,050
I can't... Hey, all right.

1246
00:57:54,140 --> 00:57:56,470
[suspenseful music]

1247
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:57,600
No.

1248
00:57:59,060 --> 00:58:00,270
Willy.

1249
00:58:00,350 --> 00:58:02,100
Turn that off, come on.

1250
00:58:19,370 --> 00:58:21,040
Listen to this, Paul, all right?

1251
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,500
"The potential suspects

1252
00:58:22,580 --> 00:58:26,630
can reasonably be deduced
to be the key competitors

1253
00:58:26,710 --> 00:58:29,130
in the Marra division
at Shepton Mallet

1254
00:58:29,210 --> 00:58:31,630
due to vested interest
of said parties."”

1255
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,550
Oh, these guys are perverts.

1256
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:36,510
"The alibi of Tony Knight
from the evening in question

1257
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,140
is watertight,

1258
00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:40,640
with three
corroborating witnesses

1259
00:58:40,730 --> 00:58:43,480
confirming that he rolled a 135

1260
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:44,900
at Hereford Megabowl
that night."

1261
00:58:44,980 --> 00:58:47,070
- 135's good.
- Shut up, Willy.

1262
00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:48,900
No, they wanted
to get kidnapped.

1263
00:58:48,980 --> 00:58:51,190
You can tell by their faces,
they're freaks.

1264
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:52,380
Paul, are you listening to this?

1265
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,070
I'm sorry, Carol,
but these are the people

1266
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,240
you paid to take on your case.

1267
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:57,910
"Alan Bumbridge's alibi,
however,

1268
00:58:57,990 --> 00:58:59,790
did not stand up to scrutiny.

1269
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:03,080
He professed to be
at a business conference in York

1270
00:59:03,170 --> 00:59:04,460
on the date in question,

1271
00:59:04,540 --> 00:59:06,960
but the conference
was actually two weeks earlier.

1272
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:08,960
Indeed, Bumbridge's name

1273
00:59:09,050 --> 00:59:11,420
was not even
on the list of attendees.

1274
00:59:12,470 --> 00:59:13,590
So, it was Bumbridge.

1275
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:16,510
Oh, Willy, leave it
to the professionals, mate.

1276
00:59:19,100 --> 00:59:20,350
So, it was Bumbridge.

1277
00:59:20,430 --> 00:59:22,390
[dramatic music intensifying]

1278
00:59:22,930 --> 00:59:24,640
Yeah, I think, in hindsight,

1279
00:59:24,730 --> 00:59:28,020
we probably should have called
the police at that stage.

1280
00:59:28,110 --> 00:59:30,610
["Tied up in Nottz"
by Sleaford Mods playing]

1281
00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:40,540
What's going on?

1282
00:59:40,620 --> 00:59:41,910
I got him into this mess, Paul,

1283
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,830
and I'm gonna get him out of it.

1284
00:59:43,910 --> 00:59:47,170
Oh, that's more like it!

1285
00:59:48,130 --> 00:59:50,090
<i>♪ The smell of piss
is so strong ♪</i>

1286
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:52,420
♪ It smells like decent bacon ♪

1287
00:59:52,510 --> 00:59:55,090
<i>♪ Kevin's getting footloose
on the over spill ♪</i>

1288
00:59:55,180 --> 00:59:57,050
<i>♪ Under the piss-station ♪</i>

1289
00:59:57,140 --> 00:59:58,800
♪ Two pints destroyer... ♪

1290
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:00,890
I've got work in the morning,

1291
01:00:00,970 --> 01:00:02,490
and that's why
I can't go to Yorkshire.

1292
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,730
It's okay, Willy,
we'll take a car, though, yeah?

1293
01:00:06,020 --> 01:00:07,150
Yeah.

1294
01:00:07,230 --> 01:00:08,900
<i>♪ I woke up
with shit in my sock ♪</i>

1295
01:00:08,980 --> 01:00:11,610
♪ Outside
the Polish off-license ♪

1296
01:00:11,690 --> 01:00:13,990
<i>♪ "They don't mind"
said the arsehole to the legs ♪</i>

1297
01:00:14,070 --> 01:00:16,910
♪ You got to be cruel
to be kind, shit bank ♪

1298
01:00:16,990 --> 01:00:19,450
<i>♪ Save it up
like Norbert Colon ♪</i>

1299
01:00:19,530 --> 01:00:21,870
♪ Release the stench
of shit grub like ♪

1300
01:00:21,950 --> 01:00:23,700
♪ A giant toilet kraken ♪

1301
01:00:23,790 --> 01:00:25,910
<i>♪ The lonely life
that is touring ♪</i>

1302
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,960
♪ I got an armful
of decent tunes, mate ♪

1303
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,420
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1304
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,340
♪ But it's all
so fucking boring ♪

1305
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:42,350
<i>♪ Tied up in Nottz ♪</i>

1306
01:00:42,430 --> 01:00:44,470
Carol, get us a Lilt.

1307
01:00:47,350 --> 01:00:49,100
What's this,
didn't they have any Lilt?

1308
01:00:49,190 --> 01:00:50,770
- Rubicon?
- [Caroline] New one.

1309
01:00:50,860 --> 01:00:52,900
- It's a new type.
- It's got mango in it.

1310
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:01,320
[whispering] He's in there.

1311
01:01:01,410 --> 01:01:03,540
What, he's in the greenhouse?
What time is it?

1312
01:01:04,660 --> 01:01:07,540
I heard that he sleeps
with his vegetables for weeks

1313
01:01:07,620 --> 01:01:09,210
leading up to the competition.

1314
01:01:09,790 --> 01:01:12,960
[suspenseful music]

1315
01:01:17,510 --> 01:01:18,630
- Carol.
- Huh?

1316
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:21,050
While we're in there,
let's not use our names.

1317
01:01:21,140 --> 01:01:25,270
You call me Magpie,
and I'll call you Blue Jay.

1318
01:01:25,350 --> 01:01:26,730
All right.

1319
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:30,940
- What's that?
- Go, go.

1320
01:01:33,690 --> 01:01:34,730
Shit.

1321
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:45,200
Psst, Carol.

1322
01:01:45,290 --> 01:01:47,120
Magpie and Blue Jay.

1323
01:01:53,590 --> 01:01:56,340
What do you think?
Do any of these look like Gary?

1324
01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,800
Well, there is some resemblance.

1325
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,350
I guess they are marrows.

1326
01:02:06,510 --> 01:02:08,310
Shit, the objective's
coming out.

1327
01:02:11,390 --> 01:02:12,850
For fuck's sake.

1328
01:02:15,730 --> 01:02:17,980
- [Alan] Hello? Who's there?
- Yeah, like I said,

1329
01:02:18,070 --> 01:02:20,030
I was worried
about him having a gun.

1330
01:02:20,110 --> 01:02:22,320
- It's definitely too late now.
- Now I am worried.

1331
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:25,950
- Can you see him?
- Yeah.

1332
01:02:26,030 --> 01:02:27,830
- He's unarmed.
- Oh, good.

1333
01:02:27,910 --> 01:02:29,540
And grizzled.

1334
01:02:29,620 --> 01:02:31,870
- Paul.
- In a wheelchair.

1335
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,290
In a wheelchair?

1336
01:02:33,380 --> 01:02:35,500
Paul, what are you doing? Paul!

1337
01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:37,550
Get some!

1338
01:02:37,630 --> 01:02:38,880
[Alan grunting]

1339
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,590
[Paul]
Where are they, you bastard?

1340
01:02:40,670 --> 01:02:42,110
[Alan]
Oh, what are you talking about?

1341
01:02:42,130 --> 01:02:44,430
- Who are you?
- Never you mind who I am.

1342
01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:45,970
Magpie, don't hurt him.

1343
01:02:46,050 --> 01:02:48,430
- Caroline?
- Oh, fuck, hi, Alan.

1344
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:49,720
What's going on?

1345
01:02:49,810 --> 01:02:51,790
Where are they, Bumbridge,
the people that you kidnapped?

1346
01:02:51,810 --> 01:02:52,950
I don't know
what you're talking about.

1347
01:02:52,980 --> 01:02:54,980
- Paul, stop it.
- [Sonia] Get off him!

1348
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:58,610
Get the hell off him!

1349
01:02:59,570 --> 01:03:01,650
- Caroline?
- Sonia?

1350
01:03:01,740 --> 01:03:02,880
- What are you doing?
- [Paul] Whoa, whoa,

1351
01:03:02,900 --> 01:03:04,200
is that a flare gun?

1352
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:05,530
Get off my husband!

1353
01:03:05,620 --> 01:03:07,300
[Paul] Not before
he answers a few questions.

1354
01:03:07,330 --> 01:03:09,330
Look,
if this is about your marrows...

1355
01:03:09,410 --> 01:03:11,710
Where were you the night
of the Fourth of August?

1356
01:03:11,790 --> 01:03:12,830
Fourth of August?

1357
01:03:12,910 --> 01:03:14,420
He was at
a conference, Caroline.

1358
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:15,640
[Paul]
At a conference, were you?

1359
01:03:15,670 --> 01:03:17,000
Yes, I was!

1360
01:03:17,090 --> 01:03:19,050
- [Paul] You liar!
- [Sonia] I'll shoot you!

1361
01:03:19,130 --> 01:03:21,300
Don't shoot that in here,
you stupid woman!

1362
01:03:21,380 --> 01:03:23,430
Don't you call me
a stupid woman!

1363
01:03:23,510 --> 01:03:25,010
Tell her
where you were that night.

1364
01:03:25,090 --> 01:03:26,890
[Sonia]
What's going on, Caroline?

1365
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:29,310
[Paul] Oh, there was
no conference, was there?

1366
01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:31,140
What's he talking about, Alan?

1367
01:03:31,220 --> 01:03:33,640
The weekend that
my marrows were stolen...

1368
01:03:33,730 --> 01:03:34,940
[Paul]
Give me your phone.

1369
01:03:35,020 --> 01:03:37,150
...there was no conference
in York.

1370
01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:38,750
There was a fucking conference.
Give me that!

1371
01:03:38,770 --> 01:03:41,780
The one he said he was at was
actually three weeks earlier.

1372
01:03:41,860 --> 01:03:43,700
- Is this true?
- Give me my phone!

1373
01:03:43,780 --> 01:03:45,910
[Paul] Fourth of August,
incoming call, Martha.

1374
01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:48,660
- Outgoing call, Martha.
- Give me my phone!

1375
01:03:48,740 --> 01:03:51,410
You were talking to Martha
that weekend?

1376
01:03:51,490 --> 01:03:54,160
- That's not who you think it is.
- Get off him, Paul.

1377
01:03:54,250 --> 01:03:56,120
No, stay on him, Paul!

1378
01:03:56,210 --> 01:03:57,960
Alan's not kidnapped anyone,
has he?

1379
01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:59,800
And there I was,
waiting on you hand and foot

1380
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:01,670
while you were off
with that bitch Martha.

1381
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:03,150
Sonia,
we're just gonna leave you...

1382
01:04:03,170 --> 01:04:04,880
- Fuck off, Caroline.
- Thank you.

1383
01:04:04,970 --> 01:04:07,180
And you call me a stupid woman
in front of our guests.

1384
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,550
They're hardly
our fucking guests, Sonia.

1385
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:11,310
[Paul]
Gonna walk through this, mate.

1386
01:04:11,390 --> 01:04:14,560
[Alan] You've got it all wrong.
She's just in the business.

1387
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:17,850
It turns out that
Bumbridge was having an affair

1388
01:04:17,940 --> 01:04:19,310
with a woman called Martha.

1389
01:04:21,820 --> 01:04:23,280
That's where he was
that weekend.

1390
01:04:24,820 --> 01:04:26,530
You get what you deserve
in this life.

1391
01:04:27,820 --> 01:04:29,780
Ergo, he deserved it.

1392
01:04:29,870 --> 01:04:30,910
[phone chimes]

1393
01:04:34,410 --> 01:04:36,500
Oh, it's your ex-husband.

1394
01:04:37,710 --> 01:04:39,000
He says, um...

1395
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:42,670
"Sorry to bring bad news."

1396
01:04:44,170 --> 01:04:45,760
I can't read all that.

1397
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:48,010
You're going to need
to face-log in.

1398
01:04:55,020 --> 01:04:56,270
Right, here we go.

1399
01:04:56,350 --> 01:04:58,770
Uh, "Sorry to bring bad news."

1400
01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:01,310
Uh,

1401
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,150
"Keith sadly passed away

1402
01:05:03,230 --> 01:05:06,900
in the early hours of Thursday
morning in hospital."

1403
01:05:07,650 --> 01:05:11,120
Uh, "It was painless and quick

1404
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:16,040
and all of his family were
eye aside for the final hours."

1405
01:05:30,090 --> 01:05:31,140
Well...

1406
01:05:33,470 --> 01:05:34,640
good riddance.

1407
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,850
Why did you
have to fucking say that?

1408
01:05:38,940 --> 01:05:40,770
[Paul] Because he was
a bastard to you, Carol.

1409
01:05:40,850 --> 01:05:42,730
Why did you do that
with Bumbridge?

1410
01:05:42,810 --> 01:05:43,860
Why did you jump on him?

1411
01:05:43,940 --> 01:05:45,780
Of course,
he's not kidnapped them.

1412
01:05:45,860 --> 01:05:47,000
Of course,
he didn't kidnap them.

1413
01:05:47,030 --> 01:05:48,950
When the two perverts
said that he was a suspect,

1414
01:05:48,990 --> 01:05:50,070
do you remember?

1415
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,780
Yeah, a suspect
in stealing my marrows.

1416
01:05:52,870 --> 01:05:55,090
- Are you having a piss?
- [Paul] Yes, I'm having a piss.

1417
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,200
Why do men
always have to do that?

1418
01:06:00,460 --> 01:06:02,040
[engine idling]

1419
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,380
Oy

1420
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:09,550
It's a car.

1421
01:06:10,470 --> 01:06:11,510
It's a car.

1422
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:16,260
[Paul]
You are seriously saying

1423
01:06:16,350 --> 01:06:18,390
that your marrows
go missing one day

1424
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,520
and then you bring them
two pervy diddlers

1425
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:21,640
to help on the case,

1426
01:06:21,730 --> 01:06:23,480
then three weeks later
they go missing.

1427
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,190
Well, that's just a coincidence.

1428
01:06:25,270 --> 01:06:26,540
We should have phoned
the police, Paul.

1429
01:06:26,570 --> 01:06:28,230
- Why?
- Why?

1430
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:30,360
Because my marrows
have gone missing

1431
01:06:30,450 --> 01:06:31,650
and for all we know,

1432
01:06:31,740 --> 01:06:33,820
Lawrence and Louise
could be dead now.

1433
01:06:33,910 --> 01:06:35,870
They could also be
at some sex party

1434
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,660
at the Burgheim for all we know,

1435
01:06:37,740 --> 01:06:41,040
dressed up in Lederhosen,
tossing everybody off!

1436
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:44,790
Carol, I'm under the radar,
I am deep in this shit!

1437
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:47,340
I cannot have the police
in my business.

1438
01:06:47,420 --> 01:06:49,670
What business is that, Paul?

1439
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:52,800
Hosting quack theories
on conspiracy websites.

1440
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:54,050
Conspiracy? Oh.

1441
01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:56,720
Oh, right, it all comes out now,
doesn't it, eh?

1442
01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:59,180
You're not Edward
fucking Snowden, mate.

1443
01:06:59,770 --> 01:07:00,890
Fucking idiot.

1444
01:07:08,110 --> 01:07:09,610
[Paul]
Take me home, Carol.

1445
01:07:21,830 --> 01:07:23,330
[phone ringing]

1446
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,090
It's Willy.

1447
01:07:33,260 --> 01:07:34,930
[automated voice] I'm sorry.

1448
01:07:41,270 --> 01:07:43,390
[Willy breathing deeply]

1449
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:54,280
[music intensifying]

1450
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:56,160
[knocks on door]

1451
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:58,160
[doorbell ringing]

1452
01:08:00,790 --> 01:08:01,950
[both yelling]

1453
01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:09,380
[Caroline] What the fuck?

1454
01:08:12,050 --> 01:08:13,630
When I pulled up
outside the house

1455
01:08:13,720 --> 01:08:16,340
and saw that car,
it was terrifying.

1456
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:18,970
I'd been up all night,

1457
01:08:19,050 --> 01:08:20,600
we'd had that thing
with Bumbridge.

1458
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:22,390
Paul had lost his temper.

1459
01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:24,600
I didn't know what to think,
to be honest.

1460
01:08:26,390 --> 01:08:27,480
Carol!

1461
01:08:33,570 --> 01:08:36,820
Yeah, it's just one thing
after another with these boys.

1462
01:08:42,540 --> 01:08:46,250
You see, Car... [stammers]
You're tired, it's fine. Um...

1463
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:49,290
- We'll talk about it...
- [Caroline sighs]

1464
01:08:49,380 --> 01:08:51,500
...in the morning. It's good...

1465
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:57,880
And that was one more thing
that I had to sort out.

1466
01:09:27,410 --> 01:09:28,460
[Caroline grunts]

1467
01:09:37,050 --> 01:09:39,300
Mom's spuds needed
digging up, didn't they?

1468
01:09:53,730 --> 01:09:55,150
Listen.

1469
01:09:55,230 --> 01:09:57,860
[man over phone] Myself
and the board of Shapton Mallet

1470
01:09:57,940 --> 01:10:00,240
have been informed
of a major breach

1471
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:01,610
of growers' rule book

1472
01:10:01,700 --> 01:10:03,740
in the early hours
of this morning.

1473
01:10:03,830 --> 01:10:07,410
We take these sort of
allegations very seriously

1474
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,870
and will not
act without proper evidence

1475
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,540
being supplied,
but a committee vote

1476
01:10:12,630 --> 01:10:15,590
on disqualification
is not off the table.

1477
01:10:16,210 --> 01:10:18,010
I am sorry, Caroline.

1478
01:10:19,300 --> 01:10:20,340
What did you do?

1479
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:24,430
Paul attacked Bumbridge.

1480
01:10:24,510 --> 01:10:25,560
Oh.

1481
01:10:26,390 --> 01:10:27,430
Oh, Jesus.

1482
01:10:28,470 --> 01:10:29,520
Really?

1483
01:10:33,230 --> 01:10:34,980
I need to call
the police, Willy.

1484
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:38,530
Hm.

1485
01:10:40,150 --> 01:10:41,200
Yes.

1486
01:10:44,370 --> 01:10:45,450
What will I, um...

1487
01:10:46,330 --> 01:10:47,370
What can I say to them?

1488
01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:54,540
Um...

1489
01:11:01,550 --> 01:11:02,880
Why did you do it, Willy?

1490
01:11:05,220 --> 01:11:06,260
[Willy]
Self-defense.

1491
01:11:10,770 --> 01:11:13,560
No, why... why did you cheat
at Shepton Mallet?

1492
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,650
All I've ever wanted to do
is grow vegetables.

1493
01:11:23,450 --> 01:11:24,740
Didn't even wanna compete.

1494
01:11:30,580 --> 01:11:32,460
- [nearby shouting]
- What's that?

1495
01:11:41,510 --> 01:11:44,010
- Who is that woman, William?
- Where's she gone?

1496
01:11:44,090 --> 01:11:46,760
She ran upstairs.
Shall I call the police?

1497
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:48,930
No! No, Malcolm, no!

1498
01:11:49,010 --> 01:11:50,560
Nobody, nobody.
Don't call the police.

1499
01:11:51,180 --> 01:11:52,730
[Malcolm] Sir...

1500
01:11:52,810 --> 01:11:55,140
she has a kitchen knife.

1501
01:11:55,770 --> 01:11:56,810
Really?

1502
01:12:07,910 --> 01:12:09,410
We know you're up there.

1503
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:13,540
We only wanna talk to you.

1504
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:18,500
[tense music]

1505
01:12:28,140 --> 01:12:29,510
[Caroline] Hey, come back here!

1506
01:12:53,540 --> 01:12:56,410
- That's my mother's bedroom.
- [Caroline gasps] Okay.

1507
01:13:09,970 --> 01:13:11,510
[woman breathing heavily]

1508
01:13:12,970 --> 01:13:14,020
Stop!

1509
01:13:14,100 --> 01:13:17,390
William, i... is that you?
I don't have my glasses.

1510
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:18,980
Yes, Mom, it's me.
Everything's fine.

1511
01:13:19,060 --> 01:13:20,830
I'm just showing a few friends
around the house.

1512
01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:21,900
They think it's lovely.

1513
01:13:21,980 --> 01:13:23,480
Who are you?
Why are you following us?

1514
01:13:23,570 --> 01:13:24,780
Okay.

1515
01:13:24,860 --> 01:13:26,030
Let's, uh...

1516
01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:28,320
calm down.

1517
01:13:29,030 --> 01:13:30,280
Shall we, Caroline?

1518
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:31,820
How do you know my name?

1519
01:13:31,910 --> 01:13:33,390
[Willy's mom]
Is that your Caroline, William?

1520
01:13:33,410 --> 01:13:36,370
I thought you made her up
like the last girlfriend.

1521
01:13:36,450 --> 01:13:37,830
Please, Mom, not now, okay?

1522
01:13:37,910 --> 01:13:40,460
I know a lot
about you, Caroline.

1523
01:13:40,540 --> 01:13:41,710
Who sent you?

1524
01:13:41,790 --> 01:13:43,590
Surely you
already know that, William.

1525
01:13:43,670 --> 01:13:45,340
- Was it Tony Knight?
- No.

1526
01:13:45,420 --> 01:13:46,840
Who sent you?

1527
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:50,090
- Who?
- Mr. Patterson pays me.

1528
01:13:50,180 --> 01:13:51,510
[Caroline] The MP?

1529
01:13:51,590 --> 01:13:52,860
What does he want
with my vegetables?

1530
01:13:52,890 --> 01:13:55,260
This isn't about
your vegetables, Caroline.

1531
01:13:55,350 --> 01:13:59,020
Is that
your girlfriend, Caroline?

1532
01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:00,250
- [Willy's mom] William...
- Look,

1533
01:14:00,270 --> 01:14:02,230
you seem like a nice person,

1534
01:14:02,310 --> 01:14:03,940
so I'm gonna
give you some advice.

1535
01:14:04,020 --> 01:14:05,900
You're in over your head.

1536
01:14:05,980 --> 01:14:08,690
Where are Lawrence and Louise?

1537
01:14:08,780 --> 01:14:10,070
They're gone.

1538
01:14:10,150 --> 01:14:12,570
They got mixed up
in bigger things.

1539
01:14:12,910 --> 01:14:15,410
But you should let
this one go, Caroline.

1540
01:14:16,450 --> 01:14:18,660
- Trust me.
- [Willy's mom] William!

1541
01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:20,750
Stop ignoring me.

1542
01:14:20,830 --> 01:14:21,870
I'm not ignoring you, Mom.

1543
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:23,640
- I'm just talking to...
- [woman exclaims]

1544
01:14:36,890 --> 01:14:38,520
Let it go, Caroline!

1545
01:14:39,230 --> 01:14:40,270
Let it go!

1546
01:14:44,770 --> 01:14:45,940
How has she done that?

1547
01:14:48,440 --> 01:14:50,700
["I Wanna Be Yours"
by John Cooper Clarke]

1548
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:07,130
♪ I wanna be
your vacuum cleaner ♪

1549
01:15:07,210 --> 01:15:10,550
' Breathing in your dust

1550
01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:15,590
<i>♪ I wanna be your Ford Cortina ♪</i>

1551
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:18,680
♪ I will never rust ♪

1552
01:15:20,470 --> 01:15:23,690
♪ If you like your coffee hot ♪

1553
01:15:24,230 --> 01:15:27,940
<i>♪ Let me be your coffee pot ♪</i>

1554
01:15:29,030 --> 01:15:33,820
♪ You call the shots,
I wanna be yours ♪

1555
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:40,490
<i>♪ I wanna be your raincoat ♪</i>

1556
01:15:40,580 --> 01:15:44,750
♪ For those
frequent rainy days ♪

1557
01:15:45,830 --> 01:15:49,170
♪ I wanna be your dreamboat ♪

1558
01:15:49,710 --> 01:15:52,630
♪ When you wanna sail away ♪

1559
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:57,640
♪ Let me be your Teddy bear ♪

1560
01:15:58,550 --> 01:16:01,970
♪ Take me with you anywhere ♪

1561
01:16:03,850 --> 01:16:07,980
♪ I don't care,
I wanna be yours ♪

1562
01:16:11,110 --> 01:16:15,200
♪ I wanna be
your electric meter ♪

1563
01:16:15,910 --> 01:16:18,490
♪ I will not run out ♪

1564
01:16:19,830 --> 01:16:23,620
♪ I wanna be
the electric heater ♪

1565
01:16:23,700 --> 01:16:26,920
♪ You'll get cold without ♪

1566
01:16:28,460 --> 01:16:31,920
♪ I wanna be
your setting lotion ♪

1567
01:16:32,590 --> 01:16:34,470
♪ Hold your hair in... ♪

1568
01:16:34,550 --> 01:16:36,090
[muffled dialogue]

1569
01:16:39,930 --> 01:16:41,310
Huh?

1570
01:16:41,390 --> 01:16:42,430
I'm saying it's good.

1571
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,230
Best soup I've ever had.

1572
01:16:48,350 --> 01:16:49,730
It's homegrown, ain't it.

1573
01:16:49,810 --> 01:16:52,360
You can tell
it's very fresh, and, um...

1574
01:16:54,740 --> 01:16:55,780
Hmm.

1575
01:16:58,950 --> 01:17:00,070
What is this? It's...

1576
01:17:07,710 --> 01:17:09,070
Caroline,
what did you put in this?

1577
01:17:12,880 --> 01:17:15,630
[ominous music]

1578
01:17:15,710 --> 01:17:16,760
Caroline?

1579
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:24,640
Whoa!

1580
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,830
I really thought you'd...
[laughs]

1581
01:17:48,500 --> 01:17:49,540
I wanted to...

1582
01:17:52,130 --> 01:17:53,340
but I couldn't.

1583
01:17:58,970 --> 01:18:00,220
What's the point, Willy?

1584
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,850
What's the bloody point?

1585
01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:10,850
Do you know what
Keith's wife said to me today?

1586
01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:14,400
She said...

1587
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:18,030
"Thanks for not trying to
win him back, Caroline.

1588
01:18:19,360 --> 01:18:20,860
Made it easier for all of us."

1589
01:18:23,120 --> 01:18:24,410
Do you know what I think I did?

1590
01:18:25,410 --> 01:18:26,740
Pretended I didn't give a shit.

1591
01:18:28,620 --> 01:18:30,210
Like nothing had ever happened.

1592
01:18:30,290 --> 01:18:33,210
Like me and Keith
had never been a thing.

1593
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:36,590
He said he didn't want kids
and that was fine.

1594
01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:38,170
And then he leaves me and...

1595
01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:40,590
has two.

1596
01:18:42,180 --> 01:18:43,340
What did I get?

1597
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:46,560
A bunch of bloody vegetables.

1598
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:47,810
You don't mean that.

1599
01:18:49,730 --> 01:18:51,140
They were there today.

1600
01:18:53,940 --> 01:18:56,150
They look like him.
Poor buggers.

1601
01:19:04,820 --> 01:19:06,080
I was never good enough.

1602
01:19:06,160 --> 01:19:08,120
It's not true, Willy.
You're brilliant.

1603
01:19:09,750 --> 01:19:10,790
Just...

1604
01:19:11,540 --> 01:19:12,920
I just never fancied you.

1605
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,460
I meant about growing marrows.

1606
01:19:17,590 --> 01:19:19,130
That's why I cheated
at Shepton Mallet.

1607
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,420
I haven't got
what you've got, Caroline.

1608
01:19:22,880 --> 01:19:23,930
I haven't.

1609
01:19:25,430 --> 01:19:27,490
I haven't got your inspiration.
I haven't got your ingenuity.

1610
01:19:27,510 --> 01:19:29,140
I haven't got
your grower's intuition.

1611
01:19:29,220 --> 01:19:30,680
Anybody could be
like me and just,

1612
01:19:30,770 --> 01:19:32,520
you know, tend to
a vegetable or two, but,

1613
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,600
you know,
to grow a world beater,

1614
01:19:34,690 --> 01:19:35,810
that takes something more.

1615
01:19:35,900 --> 01:19:36,940
That takes something.

1616
01:19:45,780 --> 01:19:48,240
Well, apparently Linda Bloom.

1617
01:19:48,330 --> 01:19:49,910
Don't even think about
Linda Bloom

1618
01:19:49,990 --> 01:19:51,620
because she's
not in your league.

1619
01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:53,620
- Apparently she is.
- No.

1620
01:19:54,710 --> 01:19:55,750
No.

1621
01:19:55,830 --> 01:19:58,290
She was the only one
that voted for me today

1622
01:19:58,380 --> 01:19:59,750
not to be disqualified.

1623
01:19:59,840 --> 01:20:01,010
You've been disqualified?

1624
01:20:01,090 --> 01:20:04,170
Tony and Bumbridge,
they voted two against one,

1625
01:20:04,260 --> 01:20:05,800
so yeah.

1626
01:20:06,510 --> 01:20:07,550
No.

1627
01:20:10,220 --> 01:20:12,600
No, Linda's not
in your category. She's...

1628
01:20:14,230 --> 01:20:15,410
I mean,
she's not in your category.

1629
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:18,110
She... she... You have to have
a competitive vegetable

1630
01:20:18,190 --> 01:20:20,440
in a specific category
to have a vote and...

1631
01:20:22,690 --> 01:20:24,090
How could she have
a competitive marrow

1632
01:20:24,110 --> 01:20:25,490
when she doesn't have the seeds?

1633
01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,370
She doesn't have the seeds,
Caroline.

1634
01:20:31,040 --> 01:20:32,370
She hasn't got them.

1635
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:36,000
I mean, Linda is very talented.

1636
01:20:36,080 --> 01:20:39,000
You know, she's sexy.
She's been to Spain on holiday.

1637
01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:40,590
She'd make a spag bol
blindfolded.

1638
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:42,690
But she ain't in the big
leagues. She's no Caroline.

1639
01:20:42,710 --> 01:20:44,470
She ain't got the big marrows.

1640
01:20:44,550 --> 01:20:46,630
Could any of these be Linda?

1641
01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:51,760
They both look like men
to me, Willy.

1642
01:20:52,430 --> 01:20:54,180
Maybe she hired the men,
you know?

1643
01:20:54,270 --> 01:20:55,980
She might have. I don't know.

1644
01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:01,270
[shouting in video]

1645
01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:07,950
Hold on a minute.
Play... play that bit again.

1646
01:21:09,320 --> 01:21:10,950
- This bit?
- Yeah.

1647
01:21:11,450 --> 01:21:12,620
When you blow your fog horn.

1648
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:15,700
- [air horn blaring]
- [shouting]

1649
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:17,620
See?

1650
01:21:18,250 --> 01:21:21,960
You blow that three times,
and he don't even turn around.

1651
01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:23,670
I throw the rolling pin,

1652
01:21:23,750 --> 01:21:25,550
and it crashes
and breaks the glass.

1653
01:21:25,630 --> 01:21:26,920
That's when he turns.

1654
01:21:27,470 --> 01:21:29,840
But I'm yelling
at the top of my voice

1655
01:21:29,930 --> 01:21:31,810
coming out the house,
he don't even look around.

1656
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:34,520
Maybe he's listening to music.

1657
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:36,140
No, why would he do that?

1658
01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:37,480
Oh, yeah, sure.

1659
01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:40,900
Maybe he's deaf.

1660
01:21:42,770 --> 01:21:44,650
Maybe he's deaf, Willy.

1661
01:21:44,730 --> 01:21:47,070
[dramatic music]

1662
01:21:48,650 --> 01:21:49,700
Hey!

1663
01:21:50,990 --> 01:21:52,320
Hey, you!

1664
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:54,280
He can't hear you, Willy.

1665
01:21:54,370 --> 01:21:58,250
[Willy shouting]

1666
01:22:01,580 --> 01:22:08,720
Oy

1667
01:22:27,730 --> 01:22:29,860
Willy! Let 'em have it.

1668
01:22:30,570 --> 01:22:32,660
- Do it!
- [Willy shouts]

1669
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:36,580
[grunting, exclaiming]

1670
01:22:36,660 --> 01:22:39,290
[Linda screams] No!

1671
01:22:39,370 --> 01:22:41,170
Stop! Stop! Stop!

1672
01:22:41,250 --> 01:22:43,250
These are Gary's children,
Linda!

1673
01:22:43,330 --> 01:22:44,520
- Please, please!
- [Willy] Yeah.

1674
01:22:44,540 --> 01:22:45,630
They're Gary's kids.

1675
01:22:45,710 --> 01:22:47,300
It's not what
he would've wanted.

1676
01:22:47,380 --> 01:22:49,840
- Please! No, listen...
- Go! Go, Willy!

1677
01:22:49,920 --> 01:22:51,970
... Shepton Mallet this weekend!

1678
01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,470
- Please!
- Why did you do it, Linda?

1679
01:22:54,550 --> 01:22:56,390
Just... just stop,
and I will tell you.

1680
01:22:56,470 --> 01:22:58,350
I'm so sorry.

1681
01:22:58,430 --> 01:22:59,770
Let 'em have it, Willy.

1682
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,730
[Linda screams] No!

1683
01:23:02,520 --> 01:23:03,730
I can't look.

1684
01:23:03,810 --> 01:23:05,190
[Willy shouts]

1685
01:23:10,190 --> 01:23:12,650
Yes, yes,
I did steal her marrows.

1686
01:23:12,740 --> 01:23:15,780
Well, my brother
and his stupid friend did.

1687
01:23:15,870 --> 01:23:18,740
But I told them,
"Only take one."

1688
01:23:19,790 --> 01:23:22,660
"Deaf and dumb" is an expression

1689
01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:25,380
that is unacceptable
and outdated.

1690
01:23:25,460 --> 01:23:27,750
But my brother is deaf,

1691
01:23:27,840 --> 01:23:30,630
and he is massively dumb.

1692
01:23:31,130 --> 01:23:33,680
When I found out
that... that they had hit you,

1693
01:23:33,760 --> 01:23:36,050
I was so angry.

1694
01:23:36,140 --> 01:23:40,270
But he did say that you
snuck up on him. Is that true?

1695
01:23:40,350 --> 01:23:42,600
I was yelling at the top
of my voice, Linda!

1696
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:44,390
Yeah, but, I mean, he's deaf.

1697
01:23:44,480 --> 01:23:46,980
So, I mean, you did
kind of sneak up on him.

1698
01:23:47,060 --> 01:23:48,320
Why did you do it, Linda?

1699
01:23:49,020 --> 01:23:51,360
I wanted to learn
from you, Caro.

1700
01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:54,610
You know, in this competition,
it makes you do crazy things.

1701
01:23:54,700 --> 01:23:56,450
- You know that, Willy.
- Hmm.

1702
01:23:56,530 --> 01:24:00,370
And I told them,
only take one plant...

1703
01:24:01,620 --> 01:24:05,000
and... and leave
a listening device

1704
01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:09,340
so that, you know, I could hear
about your techniques, so...

1705
01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:11,630
It was you?
You left the transmitter.

1706
01:24:11,710 --> 01:24:13,590
[Linda] Well, I mean,
none of it worked.

1707
01:24:13,670 --> 01:24:15,260
I mean, look at... look at them.

1708
01:24:15,340 --> 01:24:16,890
This allotment
is cursed this year.

1709
01:24:16,970 --> 01:24:19,680
Not even Tony can get
any good growth this year.

1710
01:24:19,760 --> 01:24:21,810
I'm sorry, Linda,
but I don't feel sorry for you,

1711
01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,890
- to be honest.
- [Linda] Look, Caro,

1712
01:24:23,980 --> 01:24:26,270
I... I heard you find the device

1713
01:24:26,350 --> 01:24:29,230
on that day,
and I knew I'd fucked up.

1714
01:24:29,310 --> 01:24:31,070
Fucked up? Yeah.

1715
01:24:31,150 --> 01:24:32,780
I've had to leave my own house.

1716
01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:34,750
I've been frightened
for my life, haven't I, Willy?

1717
01:24:34,780 --> 01:24:36,570
- It's been awful.
- Oh, yeah,

1718
01:24:36,660 --> 01:24:40,030
I noticed I hadn't heard you
on there for a while.

1719
01:24:40,120 --> 01:24:41,540
Did you sublet?

1720
01:24:42,370 --> 01:24:44,160
- What?
- [Linda] Oh, okay.

1721
01:24:44,250 --> 01:24:45,500
So...

1722
01:24:46,120 --> 01:24:49,210
who are the men in your house
at the moment?

1723
01:24:49,290 --> 01:24:50,380
What men?

1724
01:24:55,170 --> 01:24:58,840
Um, yeah,
I get a notification...

1725
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:04,600
every time the transmitter
picks up a sound.

1726
01:25:05,140 --> 01:25:06,640
It's actually so smart.

1727
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:09,440
[man over speaker] You two,
keep your eyes out.

1728
01:25:09,860 --> 01:25:11,140
This bitch can't be out forever.

1729
01:25:12,320 --> 01:25:14,780
Just be ready to smash her head
in when she comes in the door.

1730
01:25:15,740 --> 01:25:17,110
How good is that?

1731
01:25:17,820 --> 01:25:19,070
What the fuck?

1732
01:25:19,660 --> 01:25:20,700
Is that in my house?

1733
01:25:20,780 --> 01:25:22,240
Well, sometimes
I hear the kettle,

1734
01:25:22,330 --> 01:25:24,410
so I'm kind of figuring that
it's in the kitchen.

1735
01:25:25,910 --> 01:25:29,170
- Kettle is in the kitchen.
- Oh, Jesus Christ, Linda.

1736
01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:30,880
How long have they been there?

1737
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:32,790
- Wait, you don't know them?
- No.

1738
01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:34,270
[Linda] Well, I did think
it was quite weird

1739
01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:36,510
that they kept
talking about kidnapping you.

1740
01:25:38,010 --> 01:25:39,800
- [Caroline] Huh?
- Yeah.

1741
01:25:41,180 --> 01:25:44,390
That was the guy from Xomort,
the good-looking guy.

1742
01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:46,430
Play it again.

1743
01:25:47,180 --> 01:25:49,310
[man over speaker] You two,
keep your eyes out.

1744
01:25:49,390 --> 01:25:50,980
This bitch can't be out forever.

1745
01:25:52,110 --> 01:25:53,480
Just be ready
to smash her head in

1746
01:25:53,570 --> 01:25:54,690
when she comes in the door.

1747
01:25:56,190 --> 01:25:57,820
I knew it was him
just from his voice.

1748
01:26:00,030 --> 01:26:02,620
Some people just have that tone,
don't they?

1749
01:26:02,700 --> 01:26:04,080
Sexy.

1750
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:05,450
Gravelly, you know?

1751
01:26:05,990 --> 01:26:08,290
Clooney. Connery.

1752
01:26:09,750 --> 01:26:10,830
Wogan.

1753
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:13,130
What the fuck's
he doing in my house?

1754
01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:14,590
I was terrified.

1755
01:26:16,050 --> 01:26:17,380
But they were in my house.

1756
01:26:19,090 --> 01:26:20,510
Touching my things.

1757
01:26:23,850 --> 01:26:25,930
I knew I had to
face this head-on.

1758
01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:29,350
[tense music]

1759
01:26:38,110 --> 01:26:39,530
You all right?

1760
01:26:39,610 --> 01:26:40,650
[Caroline] Hi.

1761
01:26:41,860 --> 01:26:44,660
Look, Paul, I'm sorry.

1762
01:26:44,740 --> 01:26:45,930
You were right about everything.

1763
01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:47,620
Bumbridge stole your marrows,
didn't he?

1764
01:26:48,580 --> 01:26:50,410
[Caroline] No,
that... that was Linda.

1765
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,330
But we were being stalked.

1766
01:26:52,420 --> 01:26:54,380
By Bumbridge or Linda?

1767
01:26:54,460 --> 01:26:57,050
By some people sent
by Nigel Patterson.

1768
01:26:57,130 --> 01:26:59,210
- What? The MP?
- Yeah, yeah.

1769
01:26:59,300 --> 01:27:01,550
And that was
a transmitter in my house.

1770
01:27:01,630 --> 01:27:03,260
And that MP put it in there,
didn't he?

1771
01:27:03,340 --> 01:27:05,010
No, that was Linda as well.

1772
01:27:05,100 --> 01:27:07,260
And there's people in there
now waiting to kidnap me.

1773
01:27:07,350 --> 01:27:08,930
Which Linda sent?

1774
01:27:09,020 --> 01:27:10,890
[Caroline] No, Xomort sent them.

1775
01:27:11,520 --> 01:27:12,920
But you were right
about everything.

1776
01:27:13,440 --> 01:27:14,730
About which bit, exactly?

1777
01:27:14,810 --> 01:27:16,170
[Caroline] Well, if you hadn't
found the transmitter

1778
01:27:16,190 --> 01:27:18,780
in my house, then I could've
been kidnapped by now.

1779
01:27:18,860 --> 01:27:20,780
- [Paul] Yeah?
- Yeah.

1780
01:27:20,860 --> 01:27:22,400
You saved my life, Paul.

1781
01:27:22,490 --> 01:27:24,570
Well, Willy did find the thing,

1782
01:27:24,660 --> 01:27:26,830
but no, yeah, yeah, I did
save your life, didn't it?

1783
01:27:26,910 --> 01:27:29,200
I've got these recordings
from the kidnappers,

1784
01:27:29,290 --> 01:27:32,290
and they must lead us
to Lawrence and Louise.

1785
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:34,920
I need your help.

1786
01:27:41,300 --> 01:27:42,590
- Better come in, then.
- Yeah.

1787
01:27:45,220 --> 01:27:46,720
What's all the squiggle
on there?

1788
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:49,680
I put all the files
onto Movie Maker, like this,

1789
01:27:49,770 --> 01:27:51,520
so I can see the next waveform

1790
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,600
where it's
actually them speaking.

1791
01:27:53,690 --> 01:27:55,310
- Wow.
- Here, give us your phone.

1792
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:57,310
All right, well done.

1793
01:27:57,400 --> 01:27:59,380
- It was not Edward Snowden...
- [Caroline] Don't do that!

1794
01:27:59,400 --> 01:28:02,440
What? I'm not gonna switch
it on. I'm not mental.

1795
01:28:02,530 --> 01:28:04,400
Why have you got a microwave
in your bedroom?

1796
01:28:04,490 --> 01:28:06,360
It stops us being tracked.

1797
01:28:06,450 --> 01:28:09,370
Anyway, what I thought is,
we could mark down

1798
01:28:09,450 --> 01:28:13,370
what they say as either
pertinent or non-pertinent,

1799
01:28:13,460 --> 01:28:16,210
- like they do in The Wire.
- Love The Wire.

1800
01:28:16,290 --> 01:28:17,890
[henchman 1] Would you rather
have to watch your parents

1801
01:28:17,920 --> 01:28:20,090
have sex every day till you die

1802
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:22,800
or join in once
and never have to watch again?

1803
01:28:22,880 --> 01:28:24,930
- What the fuck?
- Non-pertinent.

1804
01:28:25,010 --> 01:28:27,890
[henchman 2] Would you rather
lick a pig's back

1805
01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:30,260
or finger a cow's arse?

1806
01:28:30,350 --> 01:28:33,180
- Finger a cow's arse?
- Non-pertinent.

1807
01:28:33,270 --> 01:28:34,520
Lick a pig's back.

1808
01:28:37,270 --> 01:28:40,650
Investigator detective
on the case.

1809
01:28:43,150 --> 01:28:45,380
What are we doing here? We're
not getting anything from this.

1810
01:28:45,400 --> 01:28:47,950
No, come on, we can't stop now.
There's got to be something.

1811
01:28:48,030 --> 01:28:49,950
There's nothing.
They're just talking shite.

1812
01:28:50,030 --> 01:28:51,890
[henchman 1] Oh, hang on
a second. Someone's here.

1813
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,470
[henchman 2]
Oh, great, now the boss is back.

1814
01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:54,960
[Xomort guy] All right, lads.

1815
01:28:55,040 --> 01:28:57,370
- So, still no sign of her?
- [henchman 1] No, none.

1816
01:28:57,460 --> 01:28:58,580
That's him!

1817
01:28:58,670 --> 01:28:59,770
[Xomort guy]
Where the hell is she?

1818
01:28:59,790 --> 01:29:00,920
That's him.

1819
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:02,880
[Xomort guy]
Right. You, go outside.

1820
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:04,080
[henchman 1] Me? Yeah, sure.

1821
01:29:04,130 --> 01:29:05,670
No, no, don't...
don't go out there.

1822
01:29:05,760 --> 01:29:07,800
Stay in the room.
Have a word in the room.

1823
01:29:09,930 --> 01:29:10,970
What's he saying?

1824
01:29:11,050 --> 01:29:13,140
[rustling over speakers]

1825
01:29:17,730 --> 01:29:19,170
[henchman 2]
What was that all about?

1826
01:29:20,020 --> 01:29:21,820
[henchman 1] I don't know
if we can tell you.

1827
01:29:21,900 --> 01:29:23,080
[henchman 2]
Oh, tell me what he said.

1828
01:29:23,110 --> 01:29:24,670
- Tell him what he said!
- Tell him what he said!

1829
01:29:24,690 --> 01:29:27,240
[henchman 1] All right, they're
getting rid of 'em on the 24th.

1830
01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:29,570
And then he goes,
"We need to have her by then."”

1831
01:29:30,370 --> 01:29:32,450
They're gonna Kill
Lawrence and Louise.

1832
01:29:32,530 --> 01:29:33,870
[henchman 2] Was that it?

1833
01:29:33,950 --> 01:29:35,190
[henchman 1] Yeah, that was it.

1834
01:29:35,540 --> 01:29:37,790
- 24th.
- That's tomorrow.

1835
01:29:37,870 --> 01:29:39,580
Shepton Mallet's tomorrow.

1836
01:29:39,670 --> 01:29:41,130
Yeah, but it can't just be that.

1837
01:29:41,210 --> 01:29:42,670
What's... Paul.

1838
01:29:42,750 --> 01:29:45,380
[henchman 2] Would you rather
get killed on the 24th,

1839
01:29:45,460 --> 01:29:47,220
but you don't know it's coming,

1840
01:29:47,300 --> 01:29:50,930
or the next week,
but you do know it's coming?

1841
01:29:51,800 --> 01:29:54,720
[henchman laughing]

1842
01:29:54,810 --> 01:29:56,930
- Man...
- Very pertinent.

1843
01:29:57,680 --> 01:29:59,100
Oh, what are we gonna do?

1844
01:30:00,730 --> 01:30:02,270
Oh, fuck.

1845
01:30:02,360 --> 01:30:04,230
Everything was
going through my head.

1846
01:30:04,320 --> 01:30:05,880
I was thinking
all sorts of thoughts, like,

1847
01:30:05,900 --> 01:30:07,530
why had Lawrence
and Louise got me

1848
01:30:07,610 --> 01:30:09,280
on the case in the first place?

1849
01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:10,640
Like, what was they looking for?

1850
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:13,120
I just couldn't put it together.

1851
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:18,040
[overlapping voices]

1852
01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:21,210
That was until Willy
brought us the final piece.

1853
01:30:21,290 --> 01:30:22,630
- [banging on door]
- Fuck!

1854
01:30:24,500 --> 01:30:26,250
[grunts]

1855
01:30:26,880 --> 01:30:29,090
Oh, Willy! Wha...

1856
01:30:30,380 --> 01:30:31,780
What are you doing
banging on the door

1857
01:30:31,800 --> 01:30:33,510
- like a fucking...
- [overlapping chatter]

1858
01:30:33,600 --> 01:30:35,490
- Have you got your phone?
- I have got my phone.

1859
01:30:35,510 --> 01:30:37,590
Where's your phone? You've got
no signal or anything.

1860
01:30:38,180 --> 01:30:40,190
- Permission to go upstairs?
- Microwave.

1861
01:30:40,270 --> 01:30:42,100
Caroline! Caroline!

1862
01:30:42,190 --> 01:30:44,650
Okay, look what I found here.

1863
01:30:44,730 --> 01:30:48,150
- In Lawrence and Louise's file.
- The telly kills the signal.

1864
01:30:49,360 --> 01:30:50,490
Take a look at this.

1865
01:30:52,610 --> 01:30:54,530
Oh, batteries are dead.

1866
01:30:54,620 --> 01:30:55,700
[Willy] You recognize that?

1867
01:30:57,040 --> 01:30:58,330
It's the Swede, Caroline.

1868
01:30:59,000 --> 01:31:00,500
[Caroline] She works for Xomort?

1869
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:02,540
I thought she worked for the MP.

1870
01:31:02,620 --> 01:31:03,960
What'd you just say, Willy?

1871
01:31:04,040 --> 01:31:05,940
- Caroline, it's the Swede.
- No, the whole thing.

1872
01:31:05,960 --> 01:31:07,000
From the start.

1873
01:31:07,750 --> 01:31:10,260
- It's the Swede?
- 8 Caroline ♪

1874
01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:14,970
Ba-ba-ba! [scatting]

1875
01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:17,350
She works for them both?

1876
01:31:17,430 --> 01:31:20,270
Suddenly things just started
to make sense to me.

1877
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:23,850
And then it was my turn
to be like Columbo.

1878
01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:26,560
Xomort paid off the MP.

1879
01:31:27,150 --> 01:31:29,230
Why were they moving
the community center

1880
01:31:29,320 --> 01:31:31,280
and the allotments
just across town?

1881
01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:33,950
It wasn't because
they were drilling a new site.

1882
01:31:34,030 --> 01:31:36,870
It was because they poisoned
the water at that site.

1883
01:31:36,950 --> 01:31:38,700
You saw the state
of Linda's marrows!

1884
01:31:38,790 --> 01:31:41,080
- Yeah.
- [Linda] This allotment

1885
01:31:41,160 --> 01:31:43,540
is cursed this year,
even Tony can't get any growth.

1886
01:31:43,620 --> 01:31:45,500
[Caroline] Do you remember
the water towers?

1887
01:31:45,580 --> 01:31:47,400
- [Willy] Yes.
- [Caroline] That's why Lawrence

1888
01:31:47,420 --> 01:31:49,500
and Louise were
interested in this case!

1889
01:31:49,590 --> 01:31:50,960
And that's why
the kids got sick,

1890
01:31:51,050 --> 01:31:52,530
- isn't it?
- No, let me finish, Paul.

1891
01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:53,930
The kids at
the community center.

1892
01:31:54,010 --> 01:31:56,590
- No, they've got cancer, Paul.
- They probably gave it to them.

1893
01:31:56,680 --> 01:31:58,970
- Monsters.
- Let me finish!

1894
01:31:59,060 --> 01:32:00,930
- What's the date today?
- 24th.

1895
01:32:01,770 --> 01:32:03,980
What's happening
at the center on the 24th?

1896
01:32:04,060 --> 01:32:06,190
Jigsaws with Janet
and then pregnancy yoga.

1897
01:32:06,270 --> 01:32:08,060
No, it's the demolition, Willy.

1898
01:32:08,650 --> 01:32:10,570
And that's how they're
gonna get rid of them!

1899
01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:12,690
We've got to go.
Willy, can you drive us?

1900
01:32:12,780 --> 01:32:14,900
- [Paul grunting]
- Yeah!

1901
01:32:16,660 --> 01:32:19,530
You're gonna hurt yourself,
Paul! Come on, Willy.

1902
01:32:19,620 --> 01:32:25,370
[intense music]

1903
01:32:34,420 --> 01:32:37,470
[police radio chatter]

1904
01:32:37,550 --> 01:32:38,600
Willy, get back.

1905
01:32:40,760 --> 01:32:42,490
We're gonna have to
go through the allotments.

1906
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:44,770
Um, uh, Carol, Carol.

1907
01:32:45,640 --> 01:32:47,230
- I... I can't.
- Come on, Paul.

1908
01:32:47,310 --> 01:32:48,660
- I can't do it.
- What do you mean,

1909
01:32:48,690 --> 01:32:49,770
you can't do it?

1910
01:32:49,860 --> 01:32:51,940
- I can't get put on a list.
- Come with us!

1911
01:32:52,030 --> 01:32:53,900
- They'll be taking photos.
- Paul, please.

1912
01:32:53,990 --> 01:32:55,030
I'm sorry.

1913
01:32:55,990 --> 01:32:57,240
All right, fine.

1914
01:32:58,160 --> 01:32:59,200
Fine.

1915
01:33:03,700 --> 01:33:04,750
Come on, Willy.

1916
01:33:10,880 --> 01:33:13,420
Come on, Willy. We gotta move.

1917
01:33:17,260 --> 01:33:19,010
What's that? Scarecrow.

1918
01:33:22,470 --> 01:33:23,680
This way, Willy.

1919
01:33:24,310 --> 01:33:25,430
We have to be careful.

1920
01:33:29,150 --> 01:33:30,710
[whispering] All right,
just hold on a second.

1921
01:33:30,730 --> 01:33:33,530
[police radio chatter]

1922
01:33:33,610 --> 01:33:35,690
Okay,
that's the demolition site.

1923
01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:37,920
We've got to get them
out of there, Willy.

1924
01:33:37,950 --> 01:33:40,700
Excuse me!
There's no public access there.

1925
01:33:40,780 --> 01:33:42,660
You're gonna have to
go back the way you came.

1926
01:33:42,740 --> 01:33:44,180
You're gonna have to
stop the demolition!

1927
01:33:44,200 --> 01:33:46,000
There's people
inside the building!

1928
01:33:46,080 --> 01:33:48,410
Listen, I'm sure there's no one
inside the building, madam.

1929
01:33:48,500 --> 01:33:50,750
One minute to detonation.

1930
01:33:50,830 --> 01:33:52,460
[officer 1]
I can assure you, madam.

1931
01:33:52,540 --> 01:33:54,150
Willy, you're gonna
have to stop the countdown.

1932
01:33:54,170 --> 01:33:56,710
Okay. [exclaiming]

1933
01:33:56,800 --> 01:33:59,260
[Caroline shouting]

1934
01:34:00,640 --> 01:34:02,350
There's people
inside the building!

1935
01:34:02,430 --> 01:34:04,600
Willy, stop the countdown!

1936
01:34:04,680 --> 01:34:07,980
[man] Hold the countdown!
Hold the countdown.

1937
01:34:08,060 --> 01:34:10,190
[officer 1] Just push away,
guys, stay there!

1938
01:34:10,270 --> 01:34:12,730
[crowd clamoring]

1939
01:34:12,810 --> 01:34:18,280
Oy

1940
01:34:21,160 --> 01:34:22,200
No!

1941
01:34:23,320 --> 01:34:24,870
Caroline says no!

1942
01:34:24,950 --> 01:34:26,450
Who's Caroline?
Get out of the way!

1943
01:34:26,540 --> 01:34:28,540
[grunts] No, no, no, no!

1944
01:34:28,620 --> 01:34:31,120
[Caroline] Lawrence! Louise!

1945
01:34:31,210 --> 01:34:35,840
[both grunting]

1946
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:38,380
Come on,
we need to get out of here!

1947
01:34:39,760 --> 01:34:43,930
[both grunting]

1948
01:34:48,680 --> 01:34:51,230
[man screams]

1949
01:34:51,310 --> 01:34:52,850
[man screaming]

1950
01:34:52,940 --> 01:34:56,110
- Call an ambulance!
- Paul, what did you do?

1951
01:34:56,190 --> 01:34:58,190
This is bloody excessive,
isn't it?

1952
01:34:58,280 --> 01:34:59,320
Oh, fuck!

1953
01:35:03,030 --> 01:35:04,220
There's people in the building.

1954
01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:06,700
I repeat,
there's people in the building.

1955
01:35:06,780 --> 01:35:09,330
- [siren wailing]
- Come on, guys!

1956
01:35:12,170 --> 01:35:13,580
Come on, quick!

1957
01:35:14,420 --> 01:35:15,460
Yeah, we did it.

1958
01:35:16,880 --> 01:35:18,710
We saved their lives. [exhales]

1959
01:35:19,210 --> 01:35:23,430
["Sweet Caroline"
by Neil Diamond playing]

1960
01:35:23,510 --> 01:35:26,220
[Paul] Yeah, they were naked
there for days, apparently.

1961
01:35:26,300 --> 01:35:28,890
Probably just like a normal
weekend for them two perverts.

1962
01:35:28,970 --> 01:35:32,020
- So, they stripped you naked?
- Yeah.

1963
01:35:32,100 --> 01:35:34,940
After that, everything was
just a blur, to be honest.

1964
01:35:35,020 --> 01:35:36,400
The boys had come good.

1965
01:35:36,480 --> 01:35:40,690
Stay back! Stay... stay back,
back, back, back, back, back!

1966
01:35:40,780 --> 01:35:42,090
You'll never take me alive,
copper.

1967
01:35:42,110 --> 01:35:43,910
[Caroline]
Paul took it a bit far, but...

1968
01:35:45,780 --> 01:35:47,240
he's facing the consequences.

1969
01:35:47,330 --> 01:35:48,970
[Paul] The main thing
they arrested me for

1970
01:35:49,040 --> 01:35:50,160
was resisting arrest.

1971
01:35:51,120 --> 01:35:52,330
What sort of nonsense is that?

1972
01:35:52,410 --> 01:35:54,670
He hit a police officer
with a spade

1973
01:35:54,750 --> 01:35:56,040
right across the kisser.

1974
01:35:57,130 --> 01:35:59,090
- Caroline! [laughing]
- And then I saw Willy.

1975
01:35:59,170 --> 01:36:00,960
What happened to your face?

1976
01:36:01,050 --> 01:36:03,720
He had all blood on his face.
I didn't know what was going on.

1977
01:36:03,800 --> 01:36:05,220
And then he told me...

1978
01:36:05,300 --> 01:36:06,740
- We could still make it.
- What do you mean?

1979
01:36:06,760 --> 01:36:08,970
- Shepton Mallet.
- I've been disqualified, Willy.

1980
01:36:09,060 --> 01:36:10,100
[Willy] Nah.

1981
01:36:10,180 --> 01:36:11,660
[Caroline]
I thought it was game over.

1982
01:36:14,100 --> 01:36:15,600
He picked Ricky.

1983
01:36:16,690 --> 01:36:18,230
He's a big boy, Caroline.

1984
01:36:18,940 --> 01:36:21,110
Hey, get on the ground!
Get on the ground!

1985
01:36:21,190 --> 01:36:22,740
Who's in the boot?
Who's in the boot?

1986
01:36:22,820 --> 01:36:24,320
Who's in the boot?

1987
01:36:24,400 --> 01:36:25,610
- Just Ricky!
- Who's Ricky?

1988
01:36:26,160 --> 01:36:29,080
Of course, the police
thought it was a dead body.

1989
01:36:29,160 --> 01:36:30,830
He's a marrow
and we grew him together!

1990
01:36:30,910 --> 01:36:32,550
He was small and now he's big,
look at him!

1991
01:36:32,580 --> 01:36:34,430
[officer 2] It's a big marrow.
It's a big marrow, boys.

1992
01:36:34,460 --> 01:36:36,040
We told the police,

1993
01:36:36,120 --> 01:36:38,170
"There's one more person
you've got to get."

1994
01:36:38,250 --> 01:36:39,840
[Paul] They gave him
a police escort

1995
01:36:39,920 --> 01:36:41,670
all the way to Shepton Mallet.

1996
01:36:41,750 --> 01:36:44,340
I mean, you could say
that we all got a police escort.

1997
01:36:45,880 --> 01:36:48,390
[Caroline] We knew we had
a chance at Shepton Mallet.

1998
01:36:48,470 --> 01:36:51,140
- [Willy grunting]
- It's Ricky the Marrow!

1999
01:36:51,220 --> 01:36:54,640
I felt euphoric. I mean, people
did not expect us to be there.

2000
01:36:54,730 --> 01:36:55,770
There he is.

2001
01:36:56,230 --> 01:36:58,520
I told you that MP
was a crook, didn't 1?

2002
01:36:58,600 --> 01:37:00,400
[Caroline] It was great. Yeah.

2003
01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:02,780
We literally had to
force our way in.

2004
01:37:02,860 --> 01:37:05,780
Me and Willy just... weighed it.

2005
01:37:05,860 --> 01:37:07,860
- Weigh the marrow.
- You were disqualified.

2006
01:37:07,950 --> 01:37:09,590
- Weigh the marrow.
- According to rule book...

2007
01:37:09,620 --> 01:37:11,090
[Caroline] No, please,
we're here now.

2008
01:37:11,120 --> 01:37:13,400
- You are in my personal zone.
- We've done nothing wrong.

2009
01:37:13,450 --> 01:37:15,370
We deserve to be here.
This could be a winner.

2010
01:37:15,460 --> 01:37:17,000
They weren't gonna weigh Ricky.

2011
01:37:17,080 --> 01:37:19,040
It's not allowed. No.

2012
01:37:20,290 --> 01:37:23,760
Weigh the marrow!
Weigh the marrow!

2013
01:37:23,840 --> 01:37:27,220
Weigh the marrow!
Weigh the marrow!

2014
01:37:27,300 --> 01:37:28,740
- [crowd murmuring]
- Weigh the marrow!

2015
01:37:28,760 --> 01:37:30,390
Weigh the marrow!

2016
01:37:30,470 --> 01:37:32,100
[crowd chanting]
Weigh the marrow!

2017
01:37:32,180 --> 01:37:33,930
Weigh the marrow!

2018
01:37:34,020 --> 01:37:36,100
♪ Touching me, touchin' you... ♪

2019
01:37:36,180 --> 01:37:38,190
And then they put him
on the scales.

2020
01:37:39,520 --> 01:37:42,400
<i>♪ Sweet Caroline ♪</i>

2021
01:37:42,480 --> 01:37:44,110
103 kg.

2022
01:37:46,490 --> 01:37:48,490
We went through a lot,
really, to get there.

2023
01:37:48,570 --> 01:37:51,740
I mean, if you think about it,
I'd been punched by a deaf man.

2024
01:37:51,820 --> 01:37:54,450
I had to leave my house
and cut a man's hand off.

2025
01:37:55,160 --> 01:37:56,790
It was all worth it, really.

2026
01:37:56,870 --> 01:38:00,880
♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪

2027
01:38:03,130 --> 01:38:06,170
<i>♪ Sweet Caroline ♪</i>

2028
01:38:08,130 --> 01:38:12,470
♪ I believe they never could ♪

2029
01:38:14,970 --> 01:38:18,480
[music fades]

2030
01:38:18,560 --> 01:38:21,900
Second place.
[chuckles] Happy with that.

2031
01:38:25,020 --> 01:38:26,690
Bigger and better next year.

2032
01:38:26,780 --> 01:38:28,340
["The Marrow Song"
by The Wurzels playing]

2033
01:38:28,360 --> 01:38:30,200
♪ I'd like you all to know ♪

2034
01:38:30,280 --> 01:38:34,030
♪ He grew a great big marrow
for the local farmer's show ♪

2035
01:38:34,120 --> 01:38:38,120
♪ When the story got around,
they came from far and wide ♪

2036
01:38:38,200 --> 01:38:42,040
♪ When they saw the size of it,
all the ladies cried ♪

2037
01:38:42,130 --> 01:38:45,500
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2038
01:38:45,590 --> 01:38:48,710
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2039
01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:52,680
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2040
01:38:53,590 --> 01:38:56,600
♪ It must be two foot long
or even more ♪

2041
01:38:57,520 --> 01:39:01,270
<i>♪ Such a lovely color,
SO nice and round and fat ♪</i>

2042
01:39:01,350 --> 01:39:05,360
♪ I never thought a marrow
could grow as big as that ♪

2043
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,570
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2044
01:39:09,150 --> 01:39:11,990
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2045
01:39:16,990 --> 01:39:20,620
♪ He was leaning on his garden
gate the other day ♪

2046
01:39:20,710 --> 01:39:24,630
<i>♪ He beckoned to a lady
who lived just across the way ♪</i>

2047
01:39:24,710 --> 01:39:26,710
♪ He took her
down the garden path ♪

2048
01:39:26,790 --> 01:39:28,630
<i>♪ And showed her it with pride ♪</i>

2049
01:39:28,710 --> 01:39:32,630
♪ When she saw the size of it,
that little lady cried ♪

2050
01:39:32,720 --> 01:39:35,680
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2051
01:39:36,430 --> 01:39:39,520
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2052
01:39:40,520 --> 01:39:43,270
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2053
01:39:44,310 --> 01:39:47,270
♪ It must be two foot long
or even more ♪

2054
01:39:48,230 --> 01:39:50,110
♪ Such a lovely color ♪

2055
01:39:50,190 --> 01:39:51,990
♪ So nice and round and fat ♪

2056
01:39:52,070 --> 01:39:56,070
♪ I never thought a marrow
could grow as big as that ♪

2057
01:39:56,160 --> 01:39:58,990
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2058
01:39:59,830 --> 01:40:02,910
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2059
01:40:07,670 --> 01:40:11,460
♪ Then the feller showed
it again and everybody went ♪

2060
01:40:11,550 --> 01:40:15,590
♪ To see his great big marrow
lying there inside the tent ♪

2061
01:40:15,680 --> 01:40:19,350
♪ Then the judges came around
to give the prizes out ♪

2062
01:40:19,430 --> 01:40:23,390
♪ They only took one look at it,
and they began to shout ♪

2063
01:40:23,480 --> 01:40:26,480
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2064
01:40:26,560 --> 01:40:30,150
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2065
01:40:31,230 --> 01:40:34,150
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2066
01:40:34,950 --> 01:40:37,950
♪ It must be two foot long
or even more ♪

2067
01:40:38,820 --> 01:40:42,750
<i>♪ Such a lovely color,
SO nice and round and fat ♪</i>

2068
01:40:42,830 --> 01:40:46,790
♪ I never thought a marrow
could grow as big as that ♪

2069
01:40:46,870 --> 01:40:49,920
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2070
01:40:50,550 --> 01:40:53,420
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2071
01:40:53,510 --> 01:40:54,630
<i>♪ Everybody! ♪</i>

2072
01:40:54,720 --> 01:40:57,590
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2073
01:40:58,300 --> 01:41:01,390
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2074
01:41:02,390 --> 01:41:05,310
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2075
01:41:06,190 --> 01:41:09,060
<i>♪ It must be
two foot long or even more ♪</i>

2076
01:41:10,110 --> 01:41:13,900
<i>♪ Such a lovely color,
SO nice and round and fat ♪</i>

2077
01:41:13,990 --> 01:41:17,990
♪ I never thought a marrow
could grow as big as that ♪

2078
01:41:18,070 --> 01:41:20,950
♪ Oh, what a beauty ♪

2079
01:41:21,740 --> 01:41:24,750
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2080
01:41:25,620 --> 01:41:28,460
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2081
01:41:29,420 --> 01:41:32,380
♪ I've never seen one
as big as that before ♪

2082
01:41:33,710 --> 01:41:36,130
[applause]