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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Death is all around us.
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It's a natural part of life.
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Why are we so fearful of it, then?
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We consider it something grave,
sorrowful, and mournful.
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Something remembered painfully.
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Does the death of the physical body
spell the end of everything?
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Or is there anything that continues on?
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I do believe there's a multitude
of things that are going to happen
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after our physiological death.
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Then suddenly a splendid, kind,
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and loving light appeared.
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There's a particular moment
when there's nothing but the body...
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At that moment I felt my daughter
was in a much happier place
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than she could ever occupy
in her earthly body.
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I felt as if bathing in a sea of love,
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acceptance, and tranquility.
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In his book Who is Afraid of Death?
writer Jan van Helsing claims
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that the entity with whom he entered
into contact asked him right away
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not to be called the Angel of Death,
but rather an Angel of Transformation.
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Interestingly, Amazonian shamans
view death in quite similar terms.
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An Amazonian shaman, at the time
of the making of this film 102 years old,
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had never agreed to appear on camera.
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But suddenly felt that the time had come
for him to speak to us.
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In our conception there are
different heavenly worlds.
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{\an8}There are beings who sing and dance
and are immortal.
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{\an8}NEW JUNGLE
AMAZONIAN SHAMAN
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{\an8}Every shaman knows these worlds
and can enter with his spirit
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into the one with which
he is familiar.
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We cannot go into the next life
with our body,
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the only thing that goes there
is inside - our spirit.
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There we can't undo anything
that we have done in the body,
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we just try to be good
within the spiritual being.
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But we don't suffer, in our culture
God doesn't punish disobedience.
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He tells us that for the sake
of life in the heavenly realms
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we will lay aside our flesh
as a serpent sheds its skin.
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We slip out of the body and live on.
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{\an8}I'm not afraid of death,
why should I be?
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{\an8}Nothing happens,
it's just a change of location,
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a step towards a better life.
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After death comes a better life.
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That's what history says,
our ancestors say so,
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that's how it's told.
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When I found myself
in Mexican Teotihuacan,
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a strange thing happened to me
at the Tetitla palace.
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A local warden saw me
practicing my exercises,
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came up to me and asked me
whether I was into meditation.
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To which I nodded.
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He wondered was I interested
in visiting a special place
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with a peculiar kind of energy,
which he would be happy to show me.
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He took me to a cloakroom of sorts,
where the labourers used to change,
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there were wellingtons
and overalls lying about.
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And there was a stripe on the wall,
with three imprints of a human hand.
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He told me to sit there, lean with
my hand against the imprint,
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and promised I would experience
something special as a result.
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Looking around at the overalls,
I thought it all a pile of nonsense,
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but still I sat down,
leaned against the wall,
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and closed my eyes.
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Instantly...
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I felt a pressure coming
from the other side,
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and wondered what or who it was,
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and before my mind's eye
appeared my mother
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who by then had long been dead.
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I asked her:
"Why are you spooking me like this?"
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She answered me, after which
I assured her of my love,
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and behind her there appeared
her own mother and father,
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with my father's parents
materialising next to them.
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And behind those grandparents
more people started cropping up,
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and I realised I was looking
at my ancestors,
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tens and hundreds of people,
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presumably my great-grandparents
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and great-great-grandparents,
and so on, all watching me.
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I was completely awestruck,
while they reached out their hands
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like this and shouted:
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"We're not angry with you
for any of your mistakes.
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We don't blame you, as we too
have made mistakes aplenty.
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However, we're overjoyed
whenever we see you succeed."
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{\an8}For the ancient Mexicans
in the pre-Conquista era,
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{\an8}there was no fear of death.
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{\an8}It was part of life,
part of the cycle,
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and there was no fear of death,
at least not like ours.
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The fear of losing all we have,
of losing the material things
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we surround ourselves with today
in our Western culture.
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In fact, beings were not dying at all,
but they were changing their state,
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they were changing
into another type of life.
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In this sense, death had neither
painful nor regrettable connotations.
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It was not a punishment.
It was simply a change of state.
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It's strange that in this so-called
Euro-American culture of ours,
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the concept of death
as something heavy,
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sad, tragic, and scary,
has gradually taken hold.
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Yikes - he felt the touch of death.
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It scared him to death.
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Look,
he's got death on his tongue.
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Yet, for example, young children,
who are not yet fully absorbed
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in the games of grown-up people,
perceive death quite unencumbered.
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I THINK THOSE WHO FEAR DEATH
HAVE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
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IT'S NOT THAT SCARY.
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THOMAS NYKODÝM: "I THINK WHEN I DIE,
I'LL GO TO HEAVEN. AND ONCE THERE,
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I'LL ASK THE ANGEL IF I'M ALLOWED
TO LIVE ANOTHER LIFE."
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CAMILLE: "I THINK WHEN I DIE
I'LL GO TO HEAVEN IN ORDER
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TO BECOME AN ANGEL. I'LL BE
FLYING AROUND THE HEAVENS THEN."
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"GOD WILL MAKE ME
INTO A BROWN DACHSHUND.
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I'LL BE BORN TO A DACHSUND
AND WILL BE LIVING A DOG'S LIFE.
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THIS WILL BE REPEATED ON AND ON,
SINCE LIFE IS ENDLESS."
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Of course, some adults too may come
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to some more reconciliatory,
intimate relationship with death.
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Usually it's on the basis of some
personal, profound experience.
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I remember there was a strange case
described in Australia,
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where a stillborn baby girl
came to life during childbirth.
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A little girl had just been born,
and the doctor said to the mother,
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"Madam, I've got some bad news,
the little girl is dead."
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And the mother said,
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"Put her on my belly,
I want to bid her farewell."
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And so they put her on her stomach,
she was stroking the little girl
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and talking to her all normal,
telling her what the girl's name was,
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what the mommy's name was,
what the daddy's name was,
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what the brother's name was,
who was looking forward to her.
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And as she was stroking
the little girl, she said,
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"Doctor, I think the little girl
has just made a movement."
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And the doctor said to her:
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"No, it's just an electro-chemical
reaction of the tissue,
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it's like when you cut up a fish
and fry it in a pan and it's still
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jumping around, it's just a reaction
of the matter, it's not life."
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But the mother insisted,
"But she's breathing."
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And the little girl came to life.
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And then the reporters asked
the doctor what it was
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that made the little girl
come back to life, what caused it.
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And the doctor said:
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"Maybe it was just the love
of that mother
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which somehow overcame death."
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When I was young, I used to get
tonsillitis very often
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{\an8}with a very unpleasant
to severe course,
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{\an8}MIROSLAV KREJČÍŘ, M.D.
DOCTOR, PSYCHOLOGIST
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{\an8}so I ended up in the throat ward
where they recommended tonsillectomy.
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A pretty simple surgery.
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But after the operation,
an interesting thing happened,
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I suddenly found myself
in a sort of dreamlike state,
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looking down on this situation
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where two young doctors
were lamenting about
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how the chief was going to be upset
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that there was going
to be a young corpse
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and which of them had screwed
it all up - stitched it up wrong -
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and I realised this should be me.
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I had a huge problem,
logical, medical, psychological,
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how to explain that I was lying
on that operating table,
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but I was looking down from above,
and when I was looking down
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I was looking even though my eyes
were on the gurney,
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I was hearing even though my ears
were on the gurney,
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and I was even thinking
even though my brain was lying there...
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There I actually found out
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that I was not the body,
that Krejčíř lying there...
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Then there was a kind of cut
and my life began to run in detail,
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uncomfortably detailed,
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and it was not evaluated
by an outsider,
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and the one evaluating it was me.
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Which was a huge surprise to me,
because I was expecting
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there to be some judge
that I would be discussing with,
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that this or that had happened
differently and so on... none of that.
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And there I couldn't,
as the vernacular goes,
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sugarcoat it and I knew exactly
what I had done,
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which major screw-over
which minor screw-over I'd done,
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what and why I had done well.
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Then suddenly there was a gorgeous,
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kind, loving light
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that was in an incredibly blissful
environment full of colours, smells,
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as if some music was playing,
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and the experience was tremendously
blissful and incredibly alleviating.
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But then the light
started saying things
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which I didn't like very much again,
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that I couldn't stay there,
that I had to go back...
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Without any explanation.
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And then there was a remark
that I remember,
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which didn't say anything to me
at that moment,
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but later I realised
and understood its meaning,
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that I mustn't get ahead of myself.
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I was driving with my friend
to a Christmas concert.
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{\an8}We stopped at an intersection
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{\an8}and just as we were slowly
heading out on a green light,
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a big black BMW emerged coming
from the right side at top speed,
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and it crushed us.
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This is where my story begins.
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On the fourth day, the doctors
invited my mother to the hospital
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and told her to come
and say goodbye to me,
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so she came and they handed her
my discharge papers,
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which included a box filled in
for the cause of death.
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But something happened
that nobody expected,
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I didn't die,
I came back.
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And actually this coming back
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was a complete transformation
of my whole life...
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A transformation of my whole family,
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because up until then we were
a normal atheist family.
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Even though I didn't have a body,
I suddenly found I was still alive,
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I was expecting the darkness to come,
that's what I'd been taught at school,
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but nothing like that arrived.
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I felt tremendously happy
and I perceived that I could finally,
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for the first time in my life,
really breathe
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and I perceived that I was breathing
in and out with everything,
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that I was an all-pervading space,
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an all-knowing space
that was filled with life.
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And it was tremendously wonderful
to have that connection
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to who I am and who we all are,
actually, who life is.
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So my perception of it was
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that I was swimming
in an endless ocean of love
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and acceptance
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and peace and relief.
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I perceived bliss,
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I perceived pleasure,
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I perceived actually the feelings
I'd been looking for all my life,
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that is, the connection in love,
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which I used to look for, e.g.,
in partner relationships,
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but there it doesn't compare,
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actually the love that I'd been
looking for all my life,
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I actually found in that death,
because I found out
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that love was myself...
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And... that we all are love...
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And it's great that I can talk
about it now,
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because we usually only find that out
only at the moment of death,
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but it's great we can find out sooner,
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because in the context of life then
we can live better
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and we can do
more beautiful things in the world.
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I'm an empirically minded person,
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and as a physician I had a great deal
of confidence in science
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and an expectation it would explain
everything to me.
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So I wanted to confirm that what
I was dreaming, quote unquote,
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that it was real...
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00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:11,399
I had this strange feeling
it was more than a dream...
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00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:19,479
So I asked the nurses if they would
show me the operating room...
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00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:24,159
When I looked at the young man
on the operating table,
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I could see from up there
a sort of shielding screen
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behind which a lot of surgical
drums were stacked.
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00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,039
The only thing I was interested in:
Is that screen there?
233
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,999
When I got to the surgical room,
234
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:48,199
I was surprised to see
that that was exactly what I saw,
235
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,559
and when I looked behind the screen,
my jaw really dropped
236
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:57,799
as there were the surgical drums
237
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,879
stacked exactly
as I had seen them from above
238
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,639
which, even if I had been conscious,
239
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:07,039
I couldn't have seen them as they
were hidden behind the screen.
240
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:15,959
That's where my worldview changed
in a way... empirical, not theoretical,
241
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,639
not a belief that something could be,
242
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,439
but I realised that it was
an experience where I knew
243
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:26,920
that something was different
than what is normally scientific.
244
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:37,279
I was bathing in this splendour,
absolutely happy, blissful,
245
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:41,879
and I just felt like I never wanted
to get out of here again.
246
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:46,239
I knew I was in the source of myself,
247
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,719
the source of life,
and I called it home.
248
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,519
From my point of view it was
an infinite bliss, however,
249
00:18:54,520 --> 00:19:03,119
after some time I suddenly began
to perceive my own life in contrast
250
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:08,599
to the bliss I'd experienced
and I suddenly became horrified...
251
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,959
It wasn't as if I'd lived
a really bad life, however,
252
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,879
regarding it from the amount of love
I was contained by,
253
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:25,879
I actually saw that I hadn't brought
any of that love into my life at all,
254
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:31,319
that I thought I was bringing it
to the people I loved,
255
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,999
but in comparison to that experience
256
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,359
I found that I was living
in my thoughts,
257
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,679
that I was living in my emotions,
258
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:46,559
I was living in my evaluation
of either myself or others,
259
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,999
but I wasn't bringing much love
into the world.
260
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,039
The most pain
I experienced was in relation
261
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:59,839
to not being able to tell my mom
that I loved her.
262
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:05,439
I knew I didn't have a body,
I knew I couldn't come to her again
263
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:10,079
and I couldn't tell her because
she wouldn't hear me,
264
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:14,759
and even though we had
a beautiful relationship,
265
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:20,079
we were actually a happy family
and I had no idea,
266
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:26,159
that I never actually told her
with the power of true love,
267
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:31,159
and with that in mind, I then saw
how I could have have said
268
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,239
and expressed love in so many
other different places,
269
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:41,759
how I could have given love
everywhere else and I hadn't.
270
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:46,079
And this experience, this contrast,
brought me to my knees
271
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,720
and I perceived great pain.
272
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,759
A deep desire arose within me
to go back
273
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:04,799
and get the opportunity
to repair what I had not given,
274
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:13,039
and I had the choice to either merge
forever with this one source of life
275
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:20,239
that fills me with incredible bliss,
or I could go back.
276
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:24,520
So I chose in that moment to go back.
277
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,119
Let's try asking the scientists,
278
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:38,959
of course, those who are open
to spiritual experience,
279
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,800
even if they may have started
from some materialistic conception.
280
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,839
I graduated from medical school,
281
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:55,519
{\an8}and if you'd asked me that question
at the time I graduated
282
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,439
I would've had no problem,
283
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:03,439
simply death is the cessation
of physiological processes
284
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,719
and consciousness is a product of
the brain,
285
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,119
the brain depends on bodily processes,
286
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:15,959
so when the physiological processes
cease, that is the end of life,
287
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,279
the organism,
and any psychological activity.
288
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:25,159
Today, afterfifty years of studying
the extraordinary states of consciousness,
289
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,119
the situation has become
complicated for me.
290
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:36,040
I believe there are many things
that happen after physiological death.
291
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:44,319
It is very surprising that a consciousness
that has separated from the body
292
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,959
has the ability
to observe the surroundings,
293
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,839
not only the surroundings
of the body,
294
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:56,959
but in some cases that consciousness can
move to other rooms of the same building
295
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,999
or even experience what we call
astral projections,
296
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,799
perhaps two hundred
or a thousand miles away.
297
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,159
And when we study what they've seen,
298
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:15,639
very often we can get objective
consensus confirmation
299
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,239
that the things that that consciousness
has observed
300
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,519
have actually happened,
that it confirms something
301
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:26,079
that is found in the Tibetan
Book of the Dead Bardo Thodol,
302
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:31,999
where at the time we die
we become what they call a bardo body
303
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:38,359
and that body has access
to any location on the entire globe.
304
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,239
So it has the freedom to move around
305
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:45,519
and perceive things happening
in the world.
306
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,999
I've had a lot of experiences myself
in psychedelic sessions
307
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,239
where I'd had that feeling
that it too is happening to me
308
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:58,359
and that I'd-- that I'd sort of
gotten into that afterlife state
309
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:03,359
and that I'd even been surprised
afterwards when I'd gone back
310
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:07,560
to where I was,
where I'd taken the substance.
311
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:03,079
{\an8}I'm also prepared for, like,
when the time comes,
312
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,679
{\an8}the curtain goes down
and there's this...
313
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:12,759
When they're playing those cartoons,
the Silly Symphony, when it's over,
314
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:20,160
there's this little guy who goes,
"That's all, folks, this is it."
315
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,559
This is what we've been preparing for
for years,
316
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,319
that that really nothing like this
is going to happen.
317
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,679
And on the other hand,
I'm strongly leaning
318
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,600
towards it being an adventure.
319
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,919
And who decides what is reality,
320
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,359
what is delusion, a mask,
an illusion?
321
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:50,559
It's a constantly changing concept...
322
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,999
What do you think? I don't know.
323
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,599
Even the scientific concept
is changing.
324
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,559
Even the materialistic paradigm
is gradually changing,
325
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:06,399
and yet there are still people
who don't budge...
326
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,119
"Please don't tell me this,
this kind of bullshit."
327
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:14,960
Who decides?
What do you think?
328
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,840
And you? Hmm...
329
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,560
And you? Hmmm...
330
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,719
So I had one interesting experience.
331
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:36,559
I was approached by a guy who said
he was a friend of a friend of mine.
332
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,759
He knew exactly which table
my friend and I used to sit at,
333
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,759
that we went
there for fried cheese,
334
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,199
that I liked it
without the tartar sauce,
335
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:51,279
and the gist of why he was
talking to me
336
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:55,599
was that he had some sort of health
problem with his cervical spine
337
00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:01,359
that he hadn't been able to fix
for a long time
338
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,479
and he wanted to try
the method of acupuncture.
339
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:10,238
Back then it wasn't commonly known
and it wasn't very well accepted,
340
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,359
It was even considered as a quack,
341
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,158
But I'd been practising it
already for a long time.
342
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:20,238
And he asked me if I could guarantee
343
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:24,279
that I would cure him
and there would be no complications.
344
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,638
He asked,
"See those two guys over there?"
345
00:34:26,639 --> 00:34:30,079
So I looked, there were these
two massive hulks standing,
346
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:35,638
so in a slightly ironic tone,
I added, "I can see, I'm not blind."
347
00:34:35,639 --> 00:34:41,479
He said: "Should anything happen
to me, the two will eliminate you."
348
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,759
And I was about to take a breath
to say something wannabe funny,
349
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,559
and that moment I realised
that the guy was right,
350
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,359
that it was no joke at all.
351
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:58,919
And I said, "Okay, we're agreed,
if it doesn't work out,
352
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:04,279
now let's agree, if it does work out,
if I can have a request."
353
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:08,239
"Of course," he said,
"ask for whatever you want."
354
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:12,959
So I told him, "Okay, let's agree
that in about a year,
355
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:17,799
you tell them to eliminate me.
I want it to look like a sudden death
356
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:23,159
or an accident because I wanted
to take out an insurance policy
357
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,359
to keep my wife and son safe."
358
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,439
At that point, again,
the gentleman's features stiffened
359
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:35,279
and he didn't believe I was serious,
but the bottom line was
360
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,759
that I was dead serious,
361
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:44,079
because that's where I realised
firsthand in the real world
362
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:49,039
that if you have any experience
363
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:56,559
of that other type of death,
you can't be threatened with death.
364
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:02,559
Because death is no tragedy for you,
365
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,759
but for me
it's just something breathtaking,
366
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,999
something delightful
that I'm looking forward to,
367
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:13,879
hugely looking forward to,
and in a way I was sorry
368
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:21,120
that I was successful with this guy,
and so I'm sitting here telling you.
369
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:42,839
{\an8}So I'm afraid of death,
but I also know that when it comes,
370
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,439
I'll only be afraid of it
for a little while.
371
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,479
I've experienced what it's like
a few times.
372
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:51,839
Right before the moment
before you leave yourself,
373
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:56,160
but then when you leave yourself,
it's okay.
374
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,799
This body,
which is actually a piece of matter,
375
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,239
which is like from my perspective,
376
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:14,759
when I was feeling the freshness
and the smells and the pleasure,
377
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:20,919
it looked like a piece
of stinking something
378
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:26,759
that I had to put on in order
to finish what I wanted to finish,
379
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:31,400
which was to go to my mother
and tell her that I loved her.
380
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:45,599
There's a moment when you're
coming back to life or giving birth
381
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,639
you go through a veil of oblivion,
382
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,199
so I didn't know my mom
was sitting with me,
383
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:56,359
but gradually I remembered
who I was, what my name was,
384
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:01,919
and I came back in a lot of pain
because my whole body was broken.
385
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:08,119
So the doctors were shocked,
thrilled that I hadn't died,
386
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:13,719
but the prognosis they gave me
was one of lifelong consequences,
387
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:17,119
that I wouldn't be able to walk
and that I would have to undergo
388
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,320
intensive treatment
for at least a year and a half
389
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,359
and God knows if the treatment
would be successful.
390
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:33,799
And at that time I was strengthened by
the awareness of the source we are from,
391
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:40,199
I knew that everything
manifested in the outer world,
392
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,479
that is, everything physical
comes from the source of life,
393
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:49,279
comes from our home, whatever is
out there can be created from spirit.
394
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:53,999
So I actually thought:
"Okay, the doctors tell me
395
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:59,519
it's not going to get fixed,
but I'm more than a body,"
396
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,959
so even though I didn't say anything
to anybody,
397
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:07,759
to the doctors and thanking everyone,
I was grateful for the care,
398
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,919
but I wasn't eating any pills,
that they gave me,
399
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:17,719
which I was getting a lot of,
and I was secretly hiding them,
400
00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:24,199
and since my body was really hurting
and because I had no relief,
401
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:29,199
I started trying to figure out
what it meant that I was of the spirit
402
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,759
and that I could make
everything out of the spirit.
403
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,759
So I said okay,
I'm going to take this knowledge
404
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:43,199
and I'm going to infuse it into my body
as it can make it healthy again.
405
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,319
To help myself from the pain,
which was really unbearable,
406
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:55,879
I imagined that the light,
the beauty, the bliss,
407
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,799
the source was going through my body.
408
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,519
So then I started to imagine it
as a kind of golden honey
409
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:07,959
that actually went from my head slowly
through my body all the way down,
410
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:12,199
then coming back again, and I would
lubricate myself with this honey,
411
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,039
for hours and hours and hours,
412
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:19,559
and it helped me a lot,
and it actually didn't hurt my body.
413
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,159
And without me knowing it,
414
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,439
something happened that again
nobody expected,
415
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,519
and that is that the doctors started
to perceive a tremendously fast,
416
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,439
fast healing,
they didn't understand it.
417
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:40,039
So instead of being left unable to walk,
I actually got out of bed in a month
418
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:45,679
and learned to walk again
and was able to go home.
419
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,800
I just wanted to get back to life,
420
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,239
so instead of a year and a half
of rehab and so on,
421
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:58,239
I was back at work in three months,
but like a hugely interesting experience,
422
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:02,759
that is, that my body repaired itself
without any consequences.
423
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,559
And now it's been 25 years,
424
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:09,839
I still don't bear any consequences,
except I have scars all over my body,
425
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,079
I don't feel pain,
I don't feel weather changes.
426
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:18,679
This is wonderful, the consciousness
that we are made of really creates
427
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,360
and really repairs the body as well.
428
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,159
So I decided, since I'm here
and I can't die yet
429
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,519
and I've already told my mom
that I love her,
430
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,679
I actually decided to carry on
the beauty
431
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:48,559
and carry on the love
that I knew in that death.
432
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,119
So I've decided to work with children
433
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:58,079
who I want to keep that awareness
of where they came from
434
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,079
for as long as possible, or rather,
not limit it.
435
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,799
I try to help them understand
why they are here in the world,
436
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:11,719
to understand that they are the ones
who bring light and goodness and beauty
437
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:15,760
and that they can make
the world more beautiful if they wish.
438
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:32,159
Walter Pahnke was the other doctor
in that, besides me,
439
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,639
in the study that we had
with the cancer patients
440
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:44,679
and he and his family went to Maine
to their cottage on the coast.
441
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:49,479
And he had very shortly before that
become interested in scuba diving.
442
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:57,479
He went on an underwater expedition
before lunch and never came back.
443
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:01,119
The body vanished
into the Atlantic Ocean.
444
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:07,119
His wife had great difficulty
with coming to terms with his death,
445
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:15,320
as it were, because he was energetic
and full of life, full of vigour.
446
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,759
We had the opportunity to give
LSD sessions to psychologists
447
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,839
and psychiatrists as part
of the research,
448
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:28,919
so she decided to have an LSD session
449
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:35,199
and see if she could get some
insight there into what had happened
450
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,800
and come to terms
with the situation somehow.
451
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:46,000
In the middle of that session,
Walter showed up
452
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:50,599
and had this telepathic exchange
with her
453
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:54,759
where they were talking
about the future of their children
454
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:58,079
and she asked him:
455
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:02,479
"How am I supposed to live
without you?" And the answer was:
456
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:07,239
"Live as if you never knew me,
you have complete freedom."
457
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,919
After that happened, she sat down
458
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:16,759
and she took off her blinders
and she said to me,
459
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,639
"This can't be true,
this is my imagination,
460
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:26,799
he just said what I want to hear,
this can't be true."
461
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,759
And she went to the bathroom
and she came back
462
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,879
and she put the blinders back on
and the headphones back on
463
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,079
and she listened to the music.
464
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:42,639
And the vision of this Walter
reappeared and this Walter said:
465
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,079
"I forgot one thing:
466
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:49,719
could you return the book..."
He named the friend
467
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,559
from whom he had borrowed a book,
the name of the book
468
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:59,359
and where to find it on the third floor
where he had his office
469
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:04,159
and described the easel
that the book would be on.
470
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:08,719
And so then she couldn't wait
to get back from that experience
471
00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:13,319
and we both went
and found the book.
472
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,559
So again, the question is this,
is this evidence of that?
473
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,879
Was it really Walter?
474
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:25,239
At least it was what Jung
calls synchronicity,
475
00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:29,680
a very strange coincidence.
476
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:41,119
Is it possible to make contact
with the world of the dead?
477
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,880
And is it appropriate?
Many people are afraid of it.
478
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,519
Oh, it's as if death has touched me,
479
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,319
better not tell me about it.
480
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:56,279
What is going on when you dream
about your dead grandfather?
481
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,000
Have you made contact or not?
482
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,199
Eleven years ago, my mother died.
483
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,279
The passing of loved ones
is hard for both parties
484
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,479
{\an8}and even harder for the dying person,
485
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,439
{\an8}as they go into the unknown
in utter ignorance.
486
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,799
{\an8}And I wanted to make it easier
for her, I always told her,
487
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,879
"Don't worry, life goes on."
488
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,439
On the third day after her death,
489
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,119
she came to say goodbye to me
and I saw her etheric body,
490
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:34,879
and it came up to me
and it said to me in an inner voice,
491
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:36,079
"Evinko."
492
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,159
And I said to her again internally,
"You made it."
493
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:46,159
She was able to detach herself
from the corporeal or the flesh.
494
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:50,879
And after about another 50 days,
something happened,
495
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:55,399
that for the first time
there was a note that was actually written
496
00:46:55,400 --> 00:47:01,039
in lipstick that she used
in her bathroom downstairs,
497
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,999
and there were a few of these notes.
498
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,399
It was strange that they even had
a punch line or a meaning.
499
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,439
The first message was,
500
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:15,239
"I'm with you." It's weird.
The second was, "I miss you."
501
00:47:15,240 --> 00:47:20,759
It makes sense. Christmas came
and it was, "Merry Christmas."
502
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,519
We left the apartment
as we didn't want to be here,
503
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,159
we went to a relative's house,
we came back and it was,
504
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:28,959
"I'll come with you."
505
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,159
And then there was a period of time
when I was sad,
506
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,879
I was crying here, and I found
a new note in the afternoon
507
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:38,479
and it was,
"Why did you cry again today?"
508
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,879
And one time I felt like the mirror
downstairs was pretty full already,
509
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,039
she didn't have anywhere to write,
510
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,399
so I took her lipstick
into the upstairs bathroom,
511
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,319
and it was weird, that day,
in the morning I was thinking there,
512
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,599
"What if she wanted
to write something?"
513
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,839
And it was snowing that day,
514
00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:00,719
and my son was cross-country skiing
around the house,
515
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:05,039
and I went into the bathroom
in the evening, and there it was:
516
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:09,039
"Lukey is a good boy
for having gone cross-country skiing."
517
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:15,999
And that was proof that she was
actually parallel to us.
518
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:21,280
She could see what we were doing
and communicated it in parallel.
519
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:29,519
These messages started on Dec 8, 2008,
and ended on Feb 9, 2009,
520
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,320
and they were done with this lipstick.
521
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,479
Well, I was scared at first,
that's like a given, right?
522
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:44,440
But then I got used to it, and I used
to go and see what was going on.
523
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:51,600
I even told her on her deathbed here,
after the death,
524
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,759
"Mom, let me know it's working."
I always told her,
525
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:57,959
"When you see yourself from above,
526
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:02,919
you're leaving the body,
that's it, be calm."
527
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:07,080
So all this like, well,
she kind of fulfilled it.
528
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:18,359
An experience like this can be
incomprehensible to many people.
529
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,239
Yet indigenous traditions
around the world believe
530
00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,879
in communicating with the dead.
531
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:27,560
Voodoo in Haiti, for example,
is directly based on this.
532
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:07,279
Just as the spider wraps its victim
in fine threads of webs,
533
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,599
so we too are wrapped
in the fine hypnotic threads
534
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,639
of a system of power, which,
535
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:19,919
using progressive orders, bans,
limitations, and notions,
536
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:25,359
that tries to make us into
a kind of function of the system,
537
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:29,919
a kind of robot that,
under the mirage of self-realisation,
538
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:37,919
actually becomes an obedient puppet,
performing the tasks entrusted to it.
539
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:42,279
We become a kind of zombies.
540
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,400
Just as zombies are created
in voodoo ceremonies in Haiti.
541
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:03,399
{\an8}We'll show you what we've got
in a few minutes.
542
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:08,200
The different things
we do with ghosts.
543
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:14,840
But it's a major secret,
we've never shown it to anyone before.
544
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:17,600
It's very secret!
545
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,639
Zombies are not human like us,
546
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:25,599
they are our own people
who have died
547
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,520
and we protect them
from being used by someone else.
548
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:37,080
It's a rarity to put a spirit
into a human body and make it work.
549
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,039
What's a zombie?
550
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,919
{\an8}After the death
of a person and their burial,
551
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:53,159
{\an8}the next night you go to the graveyard
to the grave of the person
552
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:57,319
and call them by name
so that they wake up.
553
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:01,079
He appears before you as a person.
554
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:05,439
Then the voodoo priest summons
his spirit, catches the zombie
555
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,559
and takes it away.
556
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,119
The zombie has enormous power.
557
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,479
For example, it can do the work
of six people in a single day,
558
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:16,079
and the next day it can work again.
559
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,599
But she knows nothing
and acts like a child.
560
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:22,439
The individual himself
should not awaken the ghost,
561
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,320
because it can be very dangerous.
562
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:41,439
We're actually kind of weird,
new-age zombies
563
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,759
that don't need to be controlled
by magic or herbs.
564
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,479
We let ourselves be controlled
by loans, mortgages,
565
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:52,079
by fears, scares, terrorism.
566
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:57,439
All we need are various diagnoses,
illnesses, and then we worry...
567
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,759
We worry about some lives
that aren't really even happy...
568
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,919
So why are we so worried about them?
569
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,599
What might help is some proof
570
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,519
that death is a passage,
a gate, a continuation.
571
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:14,199
But where to get such evidence?
572
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:18,719
Perhaps it could be the phenomenon
of shared death
573
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:20,720
that Raymond Moody talks about.
574
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,639
When there's a time during a call,
when we stop resuscitation
575
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:03,560
or don't even start it, as it's
impossible to resuscitate those people,
576
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:08,479
{\an8}when at that point I have time
to pray for them
577
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,639
{\an8}and focus there for a moment
just on them, I do that.
578
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:15,199
I imagine maybe the light
that they're into
579
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,199
or that it's just shining
there for them,
580
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,879
clearing the space,
581
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:23,079
or that just that light is giving them
love, trust, care.
582
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,719
I feel the light is on around me.
583
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:29,759
Sometimes I feel like
there's a crowd of beings behind me,
584
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,519
sometimes I feel like
a complete release and joy
585
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,359
that goes through my whole body
586
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:41,959
and I feel like the whole room
is saturated with this feeling,
587
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,359
like the weight of things
is disappearing
588
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,400
into complete lightness.
589
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:46,199
Of course, one might try to argue
that it's hallucination,
590
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:49,519
but those individual experiences
591
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,239
are often experienced
by multiple people at the same time.
592
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,959
Medical staff, doctors.
593
01:01:54,960 --> 01:02:00,279
It can even involve someone who is
not fully present at the dying.
594
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:03,279
And in retrospect,
595
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:08,039
the experience of those individual people
in that particular case is identical.
596
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:12,199
So it can't just be wiped off
the table somehow.
597
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:16,599
And it's not just Raymond Moody
who first described it in his books,
598
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:18,880
thousands of professionals
have experienced it.
599
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:27,759
When I've talked to people who have
accompanied a loved one like this,
600
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:33,839
{\an8}they've all really said that they felt
a tremendous joy in that moment.
601
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,319
And such a deep peace
602
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,480
that they couldn't even
properly put into words.
603
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,719
We started talking out of words
604
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:51,359
{\an8}and my mom started telling me
about the beautiful colourful garden
605
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:55,159
{\an8}and she took me to that garden.
606
01:02:55,160 --> 01:03:02,359
We were surrounded by a large,
yellow, white light
607
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:09,359
and the garden in full bloom,
608
01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:15,320
filled with something
indescribable in words.
609
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,079
For most of those people,
610
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:23,719
actually that moment
of their loved one's death,
611
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:27,879
that experience that they shared
with them, they actually described it
612
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:31,879
as going partway with them,
to the other side.
613
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:36,359
So that's actually one
of the most powerful experiences
614
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:38,280
they've ever had in their lives.
615
01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:46,079
As I lay down, I closed my eyes,
it was right away.
616
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:52,879
The light came back on so fast,
and I was like, "Dad, you're here."
617
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:59,679
And he really started talking to me,
and it wasn't like I could hear him,
618
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:03,359
it's not something
you can hear with your ears,
619
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,719
it's more like mental speech.
620
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:09,159
He was telling me all was fine.
621
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:10,919
And he started showing me,
622
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:15,959
like realistically the mind
is transported to some new space.
623
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,479
I felt like it was more real than that.
624
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:22,279
I've felt ever since then
that these are like weird backdrops.
625
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:25,279
And that's when I really started
to perceive what he was perceiving.
626
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:30,079
There were these creatures that were
like out of the condensed darkness,
627
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:33,279
kind of folded over each other
in different ways.
628
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,359
And they had completely black eyes,
629
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:37,879
even blacker than black,
and very expressive.
630
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:41,559
And they started coming towards me,
and I was like, "Oh, my God!"
631
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,759
It started to get really cool,
the situation.
632
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:47,319
I was like...
I was fully living it at that point,
633
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:51,159
and as they started to get closer,
they were this close,
634
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,839
the black eyes started to draw me in,
635
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,519
and now I was fully immersed
in that darkness
636
01:04:57,520 --> 01:05:00,279
until I ceased knowing about myself.
637
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:03,799
There was a total nothingness
that consumed everything.
638
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:07,559
And that's when I got so scared,
639
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:12,199
I was like grabbing onto the bed
and going, "No, no!"
640
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:15,919
Spasmodically, like mentally,
with all the exhaustion, I was like,
641
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:18,119
"No I want to go back,
I'm not going to make this,
642
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,679
I'm not going to make this,
I'm scared, I'm not into that."
643
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,439
At that moment, as I caught myself,
I said "no," it started to fade,
644
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:28,800
the image, and I started coming back
to myself on that bed.
645
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:36,279
Once or twice I had the feeling
that the patient was telling me
646
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:43,119
{\an8}that actually they were already...
Like why am I doing this to them,
647
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,759
that they were already this happy,
648
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:50,119
although I didn't know anything
about them at the time,
649
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:52,159
what ailment they did or didn't have,
650
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,599
whether they were young or old,
it simply didn't matter.
651
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:59,279
It was such a strange feeling,
as if I was breaking in somewhere
652
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:03,679
with my skills, with my knowledge,
with my expertise,
653
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:09,440
where the patient's personality
didn't want to go anymore.
654
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:20,039
However, I spoke to some paramedics
who said their feelings were similar.
655
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:24,319
They feel equally uncomfortable
since our mission is to save
656
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:27,919
and now all of a sudden something
comes along you don't understand,
657
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:32,079
you just feel it and it's against it.
658
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,079
But at the same time, of course,
659
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:39,640
it must not deter him from doing
the urgent work that is required.
660
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,399
He told me what happened next.
661
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:51,239
That when he got out of it,
and I really don't know how.
662
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:52,959
Then it was like the Garden of Eden,
663
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:54,959
he was really describing it to me
as paradise
664
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:57,599
and I started to see
a different world again.
665
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:03,439
I saw it as a garden with lots
of life, greenery, people.
666
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:08,559
And my dad was suddenly, so healthy,
so full of vitality.
667
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,599
He was very overweight before he died.
668
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:13,439
He was so run down,
his joints were aching.
669
01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:16,999
And all of a sudden he was just
showing me he was running, jumping...
670
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:22,079
And there was a great joy, freedom,
liberty, so it was a wonderful world.
671
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:27,039
So then we said goodbye,
and the experience faded away.
672
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:32,039
I still felt a kind of satisfaction
that everything was okay.
673
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,799
I had this overwhelming feeling
that my dad wasn't actually dead,
674
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:37,559
that he hadn't really died.
675
01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:41,398
I met my dad again and he was like,
676
01:08:41,399 --> 01:08:45,959
"I gotta go, this is the last time
I'm gonna see you."
677
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:49,599
I'm like, "Well, Dad, bye, then."
678
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,959
And he's like,
679
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,599
"Hey, I gotta go over there now,
I got a new place now."
680
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:58,398
And he's pointing upwards in the sky
somewhere and singles out a star,
681
01:08:58,399 --> 01:09:01,519
I could feel the star shining
with the colour of the clothes
682
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:05,599
that he was wearing and he says,
"That's where I'm gonna be now,
683
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,438
On that star."
684
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:12,559
And I was like, "So don't get lost!"
I'm like, "Okay, Dad, thank you."
685
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:17,520
And so I said goodbye to him
one last time.
686
01:09:29,279 --> 01:09:34,438
It seems that the way we live
is the way we die.
687
01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:38,438
And that's why it's probably tactical
to prepare for death.
688
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:42,599
It's just that for a lot of people,
it's unimaginable.
689
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:48,199
How can I prepare for death when I have
so much to worry about in life?
690
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:51,839
It's just that for some cultures,
691
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:57,239
the entire second half of life
has been used to prepare for death.
692
01:09:57,240 --> 01:10:02,320
To go out balanced, in harmony,
693
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,240
and cleansed.
694
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,919
Let's accept the idea
that we accept the fact
695
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:55,399
that death is not the end of everything.
696
01:13:55,400 --> 01:14:01,999
Does this help us to come to terms
with, say, the death of a loved one?
697
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,840
Can we imagine coming to terms
with the death of our own child?
698
01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:11,840
For many people, such an idea
is completely unacceptable.
699
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:19,560
And yet there are people
who have done just that.
700
01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:30,599
{\an8}When it was my turn two hours later,
701
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:35,079
{\an8}they told us that the baby's heart
was not beating
702
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:37,679
{\an8}and that our baby girl was dead.
703
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:45,039
{\an8}That we have two options:
a Caesarean section or stillbirth.
704
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:54,999
We decided, based on some experience,
even from friends and distant family,
705
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:57,599
for the second option.
706
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:01,399
Well, I was so scared,
I wanted a C-section,
707
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:04,639
I wanted to be able to not see
and not hear.
708
01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:09,239
Luckily I had Peter there
who actually supported me
709
01:15:09,240 --> 01:15:14,119
and told me that we could
just do it together. And we did.
710
01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:21,239
It was totally unbelievable
because I actually promised
711
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:25,599
to like cut her umbilical cord,
so I did,
712
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:29,199
and then I held her
and everything and like,
713
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:32,999
what you feel, it's unbelievable.
714
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:40,039
When I held that daughter in my arms,
I felt a very deep peace.
715
01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:43,439
Something that you've been trying
to get to all your life,
716
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:47,399
like I mean close to yourself
and that peace inside,
717
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:48,999
was automatically there.
718
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:52,319
And I have to say,
719
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:55,519
I actually experienced that
for the first time,
720
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:57,199
with the encounter with the death
of my own daughter,
721
01:15:57,200 --> 01:15:59,239
when I was holding her
and bidding her farewell,
722
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:04,279
I actually felt what I thing
everyone should be getting closer.
723
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:08,760
And sometimes it's not easy
to find those ways to yourself.
724
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:19,879
I don't think it's easy
for other people to understand it.
725
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:24,159
They're like, "This is tough,
726
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:27,679
I'd like to get rid of it
as quickly as possible and so on."
727
01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:33,359
But we think both think,
that the experience we had there
728
01:16:33,360 --> 01:16:37,440
was one of the most profound
experiences of our lives.
729
01:16:38,440 --> 01:16:44,920
It was same encounter as the birth
of all of our other daughters.
730
01:16:45,480 --> 01:16:47,519
I felt at that moment
that the daughter was somewhere
731
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:51,959
where she was much better off than
if she had been in that earthly body,
732
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:55,479
but actually
it automatically flashed through me
733
01:16:55,480 --> 01:17:00,999
that the daughter was not dead,
that this was just a body
734
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:06,399
and that her soul was still,
so she was with us for a while...
735
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:08,079
We even did a ritual afterwards
736
01:17:08,080 --> 01:17:11,039
where we actually said goodbye
to the soul to let it go,
737
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:13,519
let it go where it was supposed to go,
738
01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:16,879
so that we wouldn't hold it down
with our earthly sadness down here.
739
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:18,159
And that helped me so much
because I knew,
740
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:23,239
that if I was tying her down
with this sadness, saying to her:
741
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:25,759
"Gee, why did you leave us,
Jesus, what did you do to us?"
742
01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:27,919
That's not going to help her.
743
01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:33,759
I could transform my motherly love
into actually giving her the freedom
744
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:40,639
that for some reason her soul
had decided to leave early.
745
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,359
And I just respect that,
746
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:48,200
and that helped me
to accept the situation.
747
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:59,039
I was pregnant with our fifth child
748
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:02,879
{\an8}and I was in the last weeks of pregnancy,
749
01:18:02,880 --> 01:18:05,599
{\an8}so it was like the whole,
it was amplified by that.
750
01:18:05,600 --> 01:18:09,079
My husband struggled for so long,
especially with the pain,
751
01:18:09,080 --> 01:18:11,479
that was probably the worst part.
752
01:18:11,480 --> 01:18:14,919
Then it was clear that nothing
could bring him back.
753
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:18,919
So I decided to actually transfer
him home immediately.
754
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:24,679
So those last moments were actually...
if I can say they were beautiful,
755
01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:30,960
I mean, I think so, because we were
together until his last breath.
756
01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:35,599
That moment of leaving,
that was so powerful.
757
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:40,399
It was clear to me at that moment
that, just at that certain moment,
758
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:47,399
one moment, there's just the body,
the soul having left the body,
759
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:49,919
but it doesn't disappear.
760
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:54,200
I went to the maternity hospital
the very next day.
761
01:18:57,920 --> 01:19:00,359
That was like half awake,
762
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:06,359
and then all of a sudden I knew
he came to see me and I was like,
763
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:09,999
"Peter, you just can't do that,
764
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:12,879
I can't be here like this,
765
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:16,119
I can't be alone with these kids,
I just can't do it."
766
01:19:16,120 --> 01:19:22,319
And he was like,
"Oh, yeah, you can do it."
767
01:19:22,320 --> 01:19:28,360
I was like, "Let me come to you."
And he said, "That time will come."
768
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:32,719
It was a very powerful experience for me,
because I was convinced
769
01:19:32,720 --> 01:19:37,079
that he was coming to tell me
that he knew about us,
770
01:19:37,080 --> 01:19:45,999
wherever he was, that he was taking
care of us, in whatever way he could.
771
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:51,200
And I just know that he's with us,
that he's always with us.
772
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:58,279
Even my kids, sometimes totally
unexpectedly, talk to him,
773
01:19:58,280 --> 01:20:02,879
like my son, who was less than
3 years old at the time,
774
01:20:02,880 --> 01:20:06,520
sits down with a picture
and talks to him.
775
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:15,559
I can actually think of him all the time
and I can think of him as pain free.
776
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:24,519
I think that we just had a wonderful
ten, eleven years,
777
01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:29,319
that we just made it to the end,
at least to the end of one of us.
778
01:20:29,320 --> 01:20:34,680
So I still have him in me, still.
779
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:40,920
And maybe without too much sadness.
780
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:54,199
When one is as it were in the pain,
one can either transform the pain
781
01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:58,159
positively, creatively.
782
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:02,999
Or he can transform it destructively.
783
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:08,759
And then it's up to each person
which side they join.
784
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:11,479
I have to say that when we said
goodbye to my daughter,
785
01:21:11,480 --> 01:21:14,079
it was actually thanks to my husband
that I said goodbye to her.
786
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:16,479
And we actually had two hours alone
and because of that,
787
01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:22,159
my mental state was actually,
if I compare it to most mothers
788
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:26,319
who didn't actually have that closure
of parting with the child,
789
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:29,359
they are mentally far worse off.
790
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:34,919
Since then, we've started
to appreciate more
791
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:42,879
how the family works and what we do
and it's, I would say, liberating.
792
01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:46,639
So I think for us,
793
01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:52,879
even though it may sound for some
not quite understandable,
794
01:21:52,880 --> 01:21:57,160
it's been a positive experience.
795
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:02,639
It's perhaps presumptuous to say,
796
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:09,199
but I feel like it's been one
of the greatest gifts I've received.
797
01:22:09,200 --> 01:22:14,159
That actually, I feel an awful
lot of unconditional love in that,
798
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:18,119
from our daughter, what she did.
799
01:22:18,120 --> 01:22:28,200
That she had to come in order to help
us leap somewhere higher or further.
800
01:22:31,440 --> 01:22:35,679
I personally have never experienced
more peace in my life
801
01:22:35,680 --> 01:22:38,759
than when I was holding this Amalia.
802
01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:41,119
And when I was there with her,
I just...
803
01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:43,959
Nowadays whenever I want
to calm down or something like that,
804
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:47,159
I remember that moment...
805
01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:50,799
Exactly, it's hard to put into words.
806
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:56,639
It was like when a lightning bolt
comes and suddenly it lights up...
807
01:22:56,640 --> 01:23:00,199
It lights up here, here,
808
01:23:00,200 --> 01:23:04,519
and suddenly you know
what you didn't know before.
809
01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,759
The questions that I had before...
810
01:23:06,760 --> 01:23:09,119
How is this possible?
Why is this happening? And so on...
811
01:23:09,120 --> 01:23:13,919
Suddenly questions weren't needed,
suddenly there were just the answers.
812
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:19,239
So I knew that nothing in life
is a coincidence
813
01:23:19,240 --> 01:23:21,720
and I totally accepted it.
814
01:26:03,120 --> 01:26:05,639
Thank you for letting me
experience this.
815
01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:10,120
It gave me a huge strength
816
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:17,559
to work with my life a little differently,
817
01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:25,320
because I realised how important
is to be in the here and now.
818
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:31,519
When I look at death in this moment,
819
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:36,079
to me death seems the most beautiful
thing I have ever experienced.
820
01:26:36,080 --> 01:26:39,119
I really saw it as one big orgasm.
821
01:26:39,120 --> 01:26:43,279
It's really like looking forward
to seeing my beloved friend
822
01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:45,639
that I haven't seen all my life...
823
01:26:45,640 --> 01:26:50,759
I'm so excited, and the thought
brings me so much joy.
824
01:26:50,760 --> 01:26:52,919
I'm also looking forward
to the possibilities
825
01:26:52,920 --> 01:26:55,439
that will open up next
because now I know
826
01:26:55,440 --> 01:26:59,559
that nothing will be over.
827
01:26:59,560 --> 01:27:03,040
So I'm looking forward to that, too.
828
01:27:21,040 --> 01:27:27,120
{\an8}JULIA CROMPTON
(TWO WEEKS BEFORE DEATH)
829
01:32:24,600 --> 01:32:26,279
This just goes to show
830
01:32:26,280 --> 01:32:28,559
that one shouldn't take
anything too seriously.
831
01:32:28,560 --> 01:32:31,560
Not death, not life,
832
01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:35,400
not even yourself.
833
01:32:41,760 --> 01:32:42,840
Thanks, guys.