1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.LT 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.LT 3 00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:20,237 [♪♪♪] 4 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:35,687 [♪♪♪] 5 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:52,313 [THEME MUSIC] 6 00:00:52,443 --> 00:01:01,278 [♪♪♪] 7 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,253 Oh, you're fucking kidding. 8 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,647 Fucking... fuck! 9 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,824 Bulllshit fucking Armageddon reception. 10 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,217 Fuck! 11 00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,002 Oh! 12 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,264 G'day. 13 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,527 Didn't see you there. 14 00:02:16,658 --> 00:02:20,183 I bet you thought the world was fucked up in 2023, right? 15 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,968 Well, let me tell ya, things get a lot worse in 2033. 16 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,712 You see, just 10 years from now 17 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,845 a virus more deadly and more contagious 18 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,021 than anything we've ever seen before 19 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:36,112 wipes out 75% of the world's living creatures. 20 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:39,768 I'm talking humans, bush turkeys, 21 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,335 and fuckin' goblin sharks. 22 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,337 They all get fuckin' decimated. 23 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,947 Excuse me for one second. 24 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,603 [GRUNTS AND YELLS] 25 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,348 Arggh! Arrgghhh! 26 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,614 [SIGHS] Where was I? 27 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:00,919 Oh, yeah. 28 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,051 That's right. 29 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,183 Just when it's looking like 30 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,924 the end of life on Earth as we know it, 31 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,188 a brilliant geneticist named Jonathan Figg 32 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:11,756 comes up with a vaccine that completely cures the disease. 33 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,541 Everyone in the world gets the jab... 34 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,632 but there's one fucked-up side effect... 35 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:21,766 it completely erases all memory of surfing from the human mind. 36 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,291 So not only does no-one surf anymore, 37 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,902 no-one can even remember what the fuck surfing is. 38 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,297 Can you imagine it? 39 00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:34,605 All those waves going unridden all over the world 40 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,999 and not a single surfer out there riding them. 41 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,089 With no idea what they're supposed to be doing 42 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,525 with the rest of their lives, 43 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,398 the world's best surfers aimlessly disappear 44 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,182 into what's left of society. 45 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,879 I told you, mate. 46 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,838 The future is a fucked up place. 47 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,188 [CLEARS THROAT] 48 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,103 Surfing's in real deep shit. 49 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:58,325 However, not all is lost. 50 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:02,459 Because one man is in possession of a magical key 51 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:05,636 that will unlock the memories of surfing. 52 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,029 But first he just has to remember 53 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,379 that he was once one of the all-time greats. 54 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:12,382 In fact, he fuckin' dominated it. 55 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,348 Fuckin' kidding me? 56 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,915 Not even fuckin' plugged in. 57 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,830 [SHOUTS] 58 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:28,485 Arrggh! 59 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,846 [WHISPERS] Which one is it? 60 00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:44,632 Ah! Here we are. 61 00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,677 Now, before we meet our hero, 62 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,331 let's check in with the bad motherfucker 63 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,464 who makes ocean waves in the first place. 64 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:55,251 [VIDEO HOME SYSTEM CLICKING] 65 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,818 [TV STATIC] 66 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,342 Fuckin' VHS! 67 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,909 Suck that, you internet fucks! 68 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,084 [LAUGHS] 69 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:05,740 [ETHEREAL MUSIC] 70 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:14,923 [♪♪♪] 71 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,839 [WATER SPLASHING] 72 00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:26,848 [♪♪♪] 73 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,681 [WAVES CRASHING] 74 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:57,661 [♪♪♪] 75 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,060 Where have all the surfers gone? 76 00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:12,023 [TICKING CLOCK] 77 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:18,247 -Hughie! -[CANNED LAUGHTER] 78 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,163 Brother! 79 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,860 What's going down? 80 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,515 Arrgh! This is bullshit, Joe! 81 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,212 It's a fuckin' disaster, mate! 82 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,170 Oh, no! 83 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,128 Is the surf empty again? 84 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,609 Mate, there's not a single cunt out anywhere. 85 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,568 Here I am working my fuckin' arse off 86 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,874 making the sickest cones on the planet 87 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,963 every single day, and for what? 88 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,052 There's not a single prick out here to surf 'em! 89 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,663 Where have all the surfers gone? 90 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,620 You know what? 91 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:44,969 I'm gonna start beekeeping. 92 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,841 I fuckin' love bees. 93 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,539 Except when they sting ya, the stingy little pricks. 94 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,889 Dude, all the bees are gone. 95 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,587 The virus killed them. 96 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:54,588 Remember? 97 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:55,545 What? 98 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,199 No bees? 99 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,897 But where am I supposed to get my honey? 100 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:03,118 Well, some say my voice is even sweeter than honey. 101 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,990 Here, have some. [RETCHES] 102 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,906 Dude! That is gross! 103 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,168 Nup. 104 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,866 We need to get surfing back. 105 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,824 And the only way we can get it back 106 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,697 is to find the guys that were the very best at it. 107 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,916 Guys who fuckin' dominated. 108 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:20,614 That's all there is to it. 109 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,267 But where the blazin' fuckin' hell 110 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,095 have they all gone, by crikey? 111 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,880 Oh, they're still around, 112 00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:29,274 they just don't remember they're surfers anymore. 113 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,842 The vaccination completely wiped their memories 114 00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:35,455 and they just wandered off into what was left of society. 115 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:38,283 [CANNED LAUGHTER] 116 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,590 Duh, I know that. 117 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:41,939 Hmmm. 118 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:44,202 We need to somehow remind them of who they are. 119 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,987 What they were put here to do. 120 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,815 But how? 121 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,207 We need a hero. 122 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,948 An all-time great, 123 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,211 to shepherd the surfing flock 124 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:55,387 back through the shadow of the valley of death 125 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,302 and emerge to take a look at their lives 126 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,609 and realize there's nothing left. 127 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,133 You mean someone like him? 128 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,658 HUGHIE: Mick Fanning! 129 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:09,097 JOE: Looks like he's gotten himself into meditation or something. 130 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,099 FANNING: Are your chakras on the dim side? 131 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:14,450 Are your healing stones lacking cosmic vibrations? 132 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,758 [ENCHANTING MUSIC] 133 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:21,326 Do your crystal balls feel weighty and swollen? 134 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,503 Here at Fanning's Yoga's Meditation 135 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:26,418 and Esoteric Scrotum Massage Retreat 136 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:30,205 we have all the solutions to your spiritual needs. 137 00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,555 Come meet me on the astral plane 138 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:36,472 and let's discuss your journey to enlightenment, flexibility 139 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:40,128 and a much lighter testicle pouch. 140 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,739 JINGLE: ♪ Fanning's Meditation and Yoga Resort ♪ 141 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,525 ♪ Making you totally awesome! 142 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,135 VOICE-OVER: [ON VIDEO] Science has proven that attending this resort 143 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,963 makes you better in no way possible. 144 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,356 Fuck, he's gone weird in the head! 145 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,184 But he's our only hope. 146 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,099 If we can get him to lead a team 147 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:58,581 and make a surf movie, it could save surfing. 148 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,931 But it can't be any old surf movie. 149 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543 This has to be the greatest surf movie in the universe. 150 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:04,544 [RECORD SCRATCHES] 151 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,633 You mean better than Blue Crush? 152 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,417 That's a big ask, man. 153 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,550 Yeah, Soul Surfer was a great movie too. 154 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,030 Mate, Bethany is such a legend. 155 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,989 And what about Surf's Up? 156 00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:18,079 I love those goofy little penguin fucks. 157 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,603 Oh, and Point Break, of course. 158 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,997 BOTH: If you want the ultimate rush, 159 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:26,000 you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. 160 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:29,699 It's not tragic to die doing what you love. 161 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,396 Oh, man, that's a great movie. 162 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,224 Bodhi is based on me, you know. 163 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,183 Anyway, enough of this. 164 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:37,620 We can make the greatest surf movie in the universe 165 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,883 but we need Mick Fanning to do it. 166 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,755 How are you going to get to him? 167 00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,495 Have you fucking lost it, Joey? 168 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,280 I can't go see Mick. 169 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,934 I hate fuckin' patchouli smellin' 170 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,110 Byron Bay hippy fuck sticks. 171 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,677 Plus humans can't see me in the flesh. 172 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,374 You saw what happened last night? 173 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,637 [DOORBELL RINGS] 174 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,816 [DOOR WHIRRING] 175 00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,340 Two supremes and a large triple seafood 176 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,604 with extra barnacles? 177 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:05,953 I'll take that large 178 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,345 with the extra barn off ya hands, champ. 179 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:08,303 Wait. 180 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,783 Aren't you Hughie the surf god? 181 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:10,914 Wait, don't look at me! 182 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,308 [SCREAMS] 183 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,397 [THUD] 184 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:16,920 Keep the change, cunt. 185 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,619 Nah, mate, nup. 186 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,708 Joey, you'll have to do it for me. 187 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,536 Plus, you're into all that fuckin' spirro bullshit. 188 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,582 Go meet Mick on the astral plane. 189 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,192 Tell him to get his crew together, 190 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:31,326 six of the best surfers to have ever done it. 191 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,414 Tell him they need to make 192 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,590 the greatest surf movie in the universe 193 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,200 and help bring back the memories 194 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,159 of all the world's surfers. 195 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,117 Tell him surfing is relying on him. 196 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,641 And make sure you tell him 197 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:44,426 if he fails, I'm gonna melt his fuckin' face off. 198 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,645 Ok, got it. 199 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:48,169 But before I go, should we jam? 200 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:51,215 [LAUGHS] Fuckin' oath we should! 201 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,217 Two, three, four... 202 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:54,523 ♪ I've got a peanut butter cup ♪ 203 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,306 [DINOSAUR ROARS] 204 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,743 ♪ And I'm ready to rock ♪ 205 00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,136 ♪ I've got the rhythm of the morning light ♪ 206 00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:02,270 ♪ I've got the strawberry jam all over my hand ♪ 207 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,229 ♪ And I'm moving with the morning tide... ♪ 208 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,449 [CLOCK TICKING] 209 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,277 -♪ ...and I'm ready to rock - [HUGHIE SNORES] 210 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,888 ♪ I've got the rhythm of the morning light ♪ 211 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,978 ♪ I've got the strawberry jam all over my hand ♪ 212 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,501 ♪ And I'm moving... ♪ 213 00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,112 [ROOSTER CROWS] 214 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,853 Let's go, Hughie, come on! 215 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,289 [BOTH SING] ♪ Whoo hoo 216 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,812 ♪ Oobie doobie doo ♪ 217 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:25,946 ♪ Shoobie doobie doobie doo ♪ 218 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,862 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo hoo-hoo ♪ 219 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:32,126 ♪ Shoobie doobie doobie doo ♪ 220 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:35,129 ♪ Yoo hoo, shoobie doobie doo... ♪ 221 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,306 So, with the wheels in motion, 222 00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,786 Hughie sends Joe Turpel 223 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,136 to find Mick Fanning somewhere on the astral plane. 224 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,094 Question is, 225 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:47,010 will Joe be able to trigger Mick's surfing memories? 226 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,665 Will he be able to transform this illuminated soul 227 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,537 back into the Cooly bogan that he once was? 228 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,497 For the sake of surfing, let's fuckin' hope so, hey? 229 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:58,108 [GRUNTS REPEATEDLY] 230 00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:02,112 [INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE] 231 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,679 For fuck's sake! 232 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:13,123 Ohmmmmm. 233 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,560 [♪♪♪] 234 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,127 [SIGHS] 235 00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:20,174 JOE: [DISTANT SINGING] ♪ Hoo hee 236 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,697 ♪ Yooee yooee yoo 237 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,004 ♪ Hooee yooeehoo yoo hoo... 238 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,266 Come on now! 239 00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,529 What's that shit noise? 240 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:30,271 JOE: ♪ Yoobie yoobie yoo yoo yoo 241 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,274 ♪ Ooh hoo, yoo hoo hoo 242 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:36,277 ♪ Yooie yooie yoo yoo yoo! 243 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,974 Mick! It's me! 244 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,454 Joe Turpel. 245 00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,412 The official commentator of the Global Shred League, 246 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,719 presented by Gooch Sweat, 247 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,982 the official beer of the Global Shred League. 248 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:47,941 And Goat Soy, 249 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,160 the official soy milk of the Global Shred League. 250 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,380 What the fuck are you on about, cunt? 251 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:53,729 What is this? 252 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,209 How'd you get here? 253 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,951 I've been sent here by Hughie to give you a mission, 254 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,127 a mission to save surfing. 255 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:01,693 Hughie? 256 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,653 The Official Surf God of the Global Shred League. 257 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,743 Man, have I been licking cane toads or some shit? 258 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,050 None of this makes any sense. 259 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:14,315 Look, I know this is gonna sound hard to believe, 260 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:17,884 but 10 years ago there was a sport. 261 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,668 It was called surfing. 262 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,584 And you fucking dominated it. 263 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:24,368 Then a virus hit 264 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:28,459 and it wiped out two-thirds of the world's population. 265 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,811 A brilliant geneticist named Jonathan Figg 266 00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,944 created a vaccine that saved the world from the virus 267 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,859 but it simultaneously 268 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,993 wiped surfing from everyone's memories. 269 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,822 Mick, I've been sent here by Hughie 270 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,911 to tell you to form a team, 271 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,652 a team of six surfers. 272 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,612 You must remind them of their talents 273 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,832 and then you must together 274 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:56,400 make the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 275 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,751 Only then will the world remember 276 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,319 and surfing will be saved. 277 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,146 [RECORD SCRATCHES] 278 00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,235 And what if I don't? 279 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,455 What if I like my life of meditation 280 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,761 and stretches and nut rubs? 281 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,721 Oh, if you decide not to help or if you fail, 282 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,245 then Hughie will melt your face off. 283 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,943 Not much of a choice, is it? 284 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,206 But how do I know this is even real? 285 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,077 I've never surfed in my life. 286 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:24,211 You could be some sort of strange astral illusion, 287 00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:26,169 a figment of the imagination. 288 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,432 Oh, but you do surf, Mick. 289 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,478 Meditate with me. 290 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,306 Meditate with me 291 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:36,266 and voyage into the deepest recesses of your mind. 292 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:39,574 Think back and remember who you are. 293 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,055 Ohmmmmm... 294 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:47,669 [ROCK SONG PLAYS] 295 00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:56,678 [♪♪♪] 296 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,217 ♪ The eye of the mountain ♪ 297 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:17,177 ♪ Is the soul of your sea ♪ 298 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,962 ♪ I've been dancing on the hillside ♪ 299 00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:23,139 ♪ Since the ocean cheated on me ♪ 300 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,794 ♪ I've missed your moist touch ♪ 301 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,015 ♪ And your eyes so crystal blue ♪ 302 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,669 ♪ Well, I'll meet you down below ♪ 303 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,108 ♪ At the bottom of the deep black hole ♪ 304 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:38,285 ♪ Yeeeaaahhh ♪ 305 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,636 ♪ Yeaaahhhhh ♪ 306 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,944 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 307 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,122 ♪ Baby, I'll be your merman ♪ 308 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:52,168 ♪ And I'll swim all over you ♪ 309 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,302 ♪ I feel the motion of the ocean ♪ 310 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:58,696 ♪ Yeah, my blood is burning blue ♪ 311 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,221 ♪ Baby, I'll be your dolphin ♪ 312 00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,919 ♪ I'll give you every breath I can ♪ 313 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,227 ♪ And when the time is right in a private place ♪ 314 00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:10,578 ♪ I'll let you play with my dorsal fin, yeah ♪ 315 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:25,680 ♪ Ahhh, my blood is turning blue ♪ 316 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,552 ♪ Yeah, I wanna be wet with you ♪ 317 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:31,425 ♪ Woah, I wanna be wet with you ♪ 318 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:37,518 ♪ Yeah,my blood is burning blue ♪ 319 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,347 ♪ Woah, I wanna be wet with you ♪ 320 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:45,743 ♪ Yeah, I wanna be wet with youuuu ♪ 321 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,398 ♪ Baby, I'll be your merman ♪ 322 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:51,271 ♪ And I'll swim all over you ♪ 323 00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:54,404 ♪ I feel the motion of the ocean ♪ 324 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:57,233 ♪ Yeah, my blood is burning blue ♪ 325 00:16:57,364 --> 00:17:00,062 ♪ Baby, I'll be your dolphin ♪ 326 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,804 ♪ I'll give you every breath I can ♪ 327 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:06,068 ♪ And when the time is right in a private place ♪ 328 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:09,463 ♪ I'll let you play with my dorsal fin, yeah! ♪ 329 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:18,515 [♪♪♪] 330 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,006 No fuckin' way! 331 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,790 It's all true, man. 332 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,532 You're the only one who can save surfing. 333 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,360 But where do I start? 334 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,014 I can't remember any other surfers 335 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,103 let alone where to find them. 336 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,671 You have to start where surfing started 337 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,107 in Hawaii. 338 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,110 Go there now and find the unicorn. 339 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,939 But I just put my car into be serviced. 340 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,594 Hughie has given you magic legs, Mick. 341 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,639 Use your magic legs. 342 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:56,727 Run, Fanning. 343 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,555 Run, Fanning, run! 344 00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:04,257 [ECHO] Run, Fanning, run! 345 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:06,520 Whoa. That was trippy as. 346 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,521 [ELECTRICITY ZAPPING] 347 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,393 Hmmm, magic legs? 348 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,829 I wonder... 349 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835 NARRATOR: So, Mick is finally on his way. 350 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,141 To where? 351 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:20,534 Who knows? 352 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:21,535 Why? 353 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:22,840 I can't remember. 354 00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:23,841 For what? 355 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,539 Who gives a shit? 356 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,280 All I know is that those ghostly pale legs 357 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,020 were running so fast 358 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:32,241 sparks were coming out of Mick Fanning's butthole. 359 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,113 Sir, Sir? 360 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:35,853 You may want to come and take a look at this. 361 00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,551 What's shown up on the radar. 362 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:42,904 [♪♪♪] 363 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:46,168 Ok, that guy has got the best legs I've ever seen. 364 00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:49,780 We're not going to stop him. 365 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,348 I can see my house from here! 366 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,788 MICK: Right. 367 00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:58,920 Hawaii. 368 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,879 Now to find the unicorn. 369 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,665 [SNIFFS] What's that smell? 370 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,232 [SNIFFS] 371 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:09,365 It smells like a reggae festival. 372 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,585 Is that coming from that guy? 373 00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:14,414 Maybe he can help me find the unicorn. 374 00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:19,114 Okay, guys, welcome to Mason's Totally Bitchin' Volcano Tours. 375 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:23,336 My name is Mason Ho and I'll be your volcano guide. 376 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,599 Please stay on the path at all times. 377 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,340 And if you get thirsty, 378 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,473 do not drink the lava because that shit is hot! 379 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,345 Haha! 380 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,608 That's just a joke, but don't drink it 381 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:38,177 'cause I tried before and I burnt my tongue really bad. 382 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,700 Mason! 383 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:40,788 Oi, mate! 384 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,485 Do you remember me? 385 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,792 Eh, haole boy! 386 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,750 Did you buy a ticket? 387 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,188 Because it's $30 to see the volcanoes. 388 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,496 Look, you probably don't remember me 389 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,368 but my name is Mick Fanning. 390 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,805 We used to travel the entire world together, 391 00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,460 having adventures in the ocean and stuff. 392 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,984 What do you mean? 393 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:06,335 OK, let's see if I can get this right. 394 00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:09,208 10 years ago a sport existed. 395 00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:13,429 It was called surfing, and you fuckin' dominated it. 396 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,170 Then a virus hit 397 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:18,086 and some dumb cunt doctor named John Figg 398 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,437 made some shit vaccine that got fast-tracked 399 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:24,527 and it erased all our fuckin' memories. 400 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,268 Now Hughie the Surf God 401 00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:28,488 wants me to put a team together 402 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:32,970 and make the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 403 00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,189 I think I'm here 404 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,278 because you're supposed to be in that movie. 405 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,062 What? 406 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,239 But I'm a tour guide now. 407 00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,241 I take people up volcanoes 408 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,417 and make sure they're safe and having a rad time. 409 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,506 -[TOURISTS SCREAM] -Oh, shit! 410 00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:47,855 What have you done?! 411 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:50,466 [BOTH SCREAM] 412 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,598 Hey! 413 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,817 Are you guys Ok down there? 414 00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,210 Hey, don't drink the lava! 415 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,517 I'm serious this time! 416 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:58,822 Nooooooo! 417 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,520 MAAAAAAASE! 418 00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:04,480 [♪♪♪] 419 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,878 Wait! It's all coming back to me. 420 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:18,494 [GROOVY SONG PLAYS] 421 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:27,460 [♪♪♪] 422 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:35,685 ♪ Fly away with me ♪ 423 00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:39,298 ♪ And I'll take you through the sky ♪ 424 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:44,085 ♪ I'm a sensitive new-age horny kinda guy ♪ 425 00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:50,047 ♪ Fly away with me ♪ 426 00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,616 ♪ And I'll take you anywhere ♪ 427 00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:56,489 ♪ No destination planned ♪ 428 00:21:56,619 --> 00:21:58,491 ♪ Man, I don't care ♪ 429 00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:06,847 ♪ Open up the window to my mind ♪ 430 00:22:06,977 --> 00:22:08,370 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 431 00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:11,068 ♪ It's a magical mystery world ♪ 432 00:22:11,199 --> 00:22:13,506 ♪ One hell of a time. ♪ 433 00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,378 ♪ Oh, yeah! Come on, boy! ♪ 434 00:22:16,509 --> 00:22:18,728 [WHISTLES TUNE] 435 00:22:18,859 --> 00:22:27,694 [♪♪♪] 436 00:22:45,233 --> 00:22:50,194 ♪ Open up the window to my mind ♪ 437 00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:52,109 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 438 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,895 ♪ It's a magical mystery world ♪ 439 00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:57,463 ♪ One hell of a time ♪ 440 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:03,251 ♪ I'm a horny, mystical, spiritual miracle ♪ 441 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,775 ♪ Rainbow sliding man ♪ 442 00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:07,951 ♪ One hell of a time ♪ 443 00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:11,999 ♪ Yeah, one of a kind 444 00:23:12,129 --> 00:23:21,051 [♪♪♪] 445 00:23:22,313 --> 00:23:24,533 [WATER SPLASHING] 446 00:23:24,664 --> 00:23:28,537 [♪♪♪] 447 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:32,193 Get fucked! 448 00:23:32,323 --> 00:23:33,803 The unicorn. 449 00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:35,065 Joe was right! 450 00:23:35,196 --> 00:23:36,110 Hughie! 451 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:36,980 The mission! 452 00:23:37,111 --> 00:23:38,025 It's real! 453 00:23:38,155 --> 00:23:38,895 [UNICORN WHINNIES] 454 00:23:39,026 --> 00:23:40,157 MASON: Damn! 455 00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:41,898 I've turned into a unicorn. 456 00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:43,378 Woah. 457 00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:47,034 And not just any unicorn, a super hot unicorn. 458 00:23:47,164 --> 00:23:48,383 Look at my eyes. 459 00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:50,341 Look at my horn. 460 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,518 Look at my buttocks! 461 00:23:52,648 --> 00:23:53,475 Look at it. 462 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:55,434 Now do you remember, Mase? 463 00:23:55,564 --> 00:23:57,392 Yeah, man, I remember everything. 464 00:23:57,523 --> 00:23:59,176 We have to save surfing. 465 00:23:59,307 --> 00:24:00,874 Let's do this! 466 00:24:01,004 --> 00:24:02,266 [SNIFFS] 467 00:24:02,397 --> 00:24:06,575 Man, your lovely pink mane smells like mull cookies. 468 00:24:06,706 --> 00:24:08,098 Oh, you're a good boy. 469 00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:10,753 Look how soft and squishy you are. 470 00:24:10,884 --> 00:24:12,407 Hey, cut it out! 471 00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:14,583 You can smell but you can't touch. 472 00:24:14,714 --> 00:24:17,194 Ohh, Mase, come here, mate. 473 00:24:17,325 --> 00:24:18,544 Have a cuddle. 474 00:24:18,674 --> 00:24:21,198 -Cut it out. -Good boy. 475 00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:24,027 MASON: Now let's go get these other surfers. 476 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:25,246 ♪ Fly away 477 00:24:25,376 --> 00:24:28,075 Whoo hoo hoo! 478 00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:31,121 ♪ It's so, so magical 479 00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,906 Look at this view! 480 00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:33,907 ♪ Up so high... 481 00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:36,344 MICK: Oh, my God, this is so epic! 482 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:37,171 Yee hoo hoo! 483 00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:39,086 ♪ Together 484 00:24:39,216 --> 00:24:42,132 ♪ Forever and ever 485 00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:48,661 ♪ Everything is better when it's you and me... ♪ 486 00:24:48,791 --> 00:24:50,967 MASON: So, where do we find these other surfers? 487 00:24:51,098 --> 00:24:52,882 I've got no idea, man. 488 00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:55,798 I'm only just tapping in to my own surf memories now. 489 00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:57,583 MASON: But wait. 490 00:24:57,713 --> 00:25:01,325 Haven't I seen you on TV doing those weird spirro ads? 491 00:25:01,456 --> 00:25:04,024 You're a meditation swami, right? 492 00:25:04,154 --> 00:25:06,113 Why don't you try and find these guys 493 00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:09,420 in the Hendrix dimension with all that trippy shit? 494 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,292 MICK: That's actually a good idea. 495 00:25:11,422 --> 00:25:13,250 That's where I was when I got this mission 496 00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:14,774 in the first place. 497 00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:16,602 I'll give it a crack. 498 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:19,648 [MICK BREATHES DEEPLY] 499 00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:25,001 Ohmmmmm. 500 00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:32,226 MASON: Who is that? 501 00:25:35,142 --> 00:25:36,578 [GRUNTS] 502 00:25:36,709 --> 00:25:37,840 MICK: Oh, no... 503 00:25:37,971 --> 00:25:40,016 [FARTS] Ahhhh! 504 00:25:40,147 --> 00:25:41,931 MICK: Phwaw! 505 00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:45,935 [BURPS] 506 00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:51,158 It's Wilko! 507 00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:53,769 Wilko is the guy we need to find next. 508 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,641 Away, hot unicorn! 509 00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,077 Away to the north! 510 00:25:57,207 --> 00:25:57,773 Hazzaaar! 511 00:25:57,904 --> 00:25:59,862 [NEIGHS] 512 00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:01,211 MASON: Wilko? 513 00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:02,517 No way! 514 00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:04,388 I remember Wilko. 515 00:26:04,519 --> 00:26:06,913 Wasn't he a country music star? 516 00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:09,089 MICK: All I remember is that at one point 517 00:26:09,219 --> 00:26:11,831 he was number one in the whole world. 518 00:26:11,961 --> 00:26:14,007 And that he stunk. 519 00:26:14,137 --> 00:26:15,095 [HORSE WHINNIES] 520 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:16,226 MASON: Wait. 521 00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,228 Isn't that him right below us? 522 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,186 MICK: No way! 523 00:26:19,316 --> 00:26:21,014 What are the chances? 524 00:26:21,144 --> 00:26:23,016 Away, hot unicorn. 525 00:26:24,495 --> 00:26:27,498 [NEIGHING] 526 00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:31,502 [♪♪♪] 527 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,293 MASON: How's that giant hot piece of horse? 528 00:26:39,423 --> 00:26:41,730 Wilko! 529 00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:43,340 It's Mick and Mason. 530 00:26:43,471 --> 00:26:44,646 How are ya, brother? 531 00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:46,343 Wilko? 532 00:26:46,474 --> 00:26:47,954 Who the fuck's that? 533 00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:49,651 You're looking at Uncle Willie. 534 00:26:51,784 --> 00:26:53,220 MICK: Cut the shit, mate. 535 00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:55,396 I've got something important to tell ya. 536 00:26:55,526 --> 00:26:57,920 10 years ago a sport existed. 537 00:26:58,051 --> 00:27:01,881 It was called surfing, and you fuckin' dominated it. 538 00:27:02,011 --> 00:27:03,839 Then a virus hit. 539 00:27:03,970 --> 00:27:06,494 Now, Hughie the Surf God wants us to make 540 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:09,802 the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 541 00:27:09,932 --> 00:27:12,369 We're here because you're going to be in it. 542 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,633 You're gonna help save surfing. 543 00:27:14,763 --> 00:27:19,289 [STIRRING MUSIC BUILDS] 544 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:22,162 -[RECORD SCRATCHES] -What are you on, cunt? 545 00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:24,686 What a load of horseshit. 546 00:27:24,817 --> 00:27:26,645 Mase, he ain't gonna listen. 547 00:27:28,298 --> 00:27:29,560 MASON: No worries, Mick. 548 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,911 I got this. 549 00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,782 Hiii-ya! 550 00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:36,829 Oww! That just missed my nuts. 551 00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:37,438 Hey! 552 00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:38,395 [HORSE WHINNIES] 553 00:27:38,526 --> 00:27:40,049 Stop rooting my horse! 554 00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:46,795 [GROOVY SONG PLAYS] 555 00:27:46,926 --> 00:27:50,756 [♪♪♪] 556 00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:55,543 ♪ I just need a little bit of juice on my lips ♪ 557 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,372 ♪ And a lady by my side shaking her hips, yeah ♪ 558 00:27:58,502 --> 00:28:01,505 ♪ Shoot the shit with a bunch of buds ♪ 559 00:28:03,464 --> 00:28:05,771 ♪ I've been laying rio and lubing up deals ♪ 560 00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,990 ♪ Nine to five most days of my life ♪ 561 00:28:08,121 --> 00:28:11,690 ♪ But on the weekend it's my time to play ♪ 562 00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:13,213 ♪ Let's do it yo! ♪ 563 00:28:13,343 --> 00:28:15,868 ♪ So saddle up, it's a Saturday night ♪ 564 00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:18,087 ♪ And the beer's ice cold, yeah, the time is right ♪ 565 00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:21,482 ♪ To let all your worries just fade way! ♪ 566 00:28:21,612 --> 00:28:23,353 ♪ Oh, they're fadin' now. ♪ 567 00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:25,704 ♪ 'Cause the country girls know how to play ♪ 568 00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:28,141 ♪ Yeah, they'll fire up night to day ♪ 569 00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:31,231 ♪ That sexy riding cowgirl's just my type ♪ 570 00:28:31,361 --> 00:28:33,146 ♪ Just my type! ♪ 571 00:28:33,276 --> 00:28:38,107 ♪ 'Cause we're rolling down the Upper West Side ♪ 572 00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:41,371 ♪ Yeah, this is how we ride on a Saturday night ♪ 573 00:28:43,286 --> 00:28:48,074 ♪ We're rolling and I'm high on life ♪ 574 00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:52,165 ♪ With a jack and coke and a girl on either side ♪ 575 00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:56,169 [♪♪♪] 576 00:29:00,564 --> 00:29:03,219 ♪ So saddle up, it's a Saturday night ♪ 577 00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:06,092 ♪ We're gonna blow off smoke and tell a dirty joke, yeah ♪ 578 00:29:06,222 --> 00:29:09,051 ♪ Let all our troubles just go away ♪ 579 00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,577 ♪ 'Cause the country boys know how to play, yeah ♪ 580 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:15,754 ♪ They'll fire up every day ♪ 581 00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:18,757 ♪ That sexy riding cowboy's just my type ♪ 582 00:29:18,887 --> 00:29:20,933 ♪ Oh, he's just my type now! ♪ 583 00:29:21,063 --> 00:29:25,415 ♪ 'Cause we're rolling down the Upper West Side ♪ 584 00:29:25,546 --> 00:29:28,941 ♪ Yeah, this is how we ride on a Saturday night ♪ 585 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:35,382 ♪ We're rolling and I'm high on life ♪ 586 00:29:35,512 --> 00:29:39,603 ♪ With a jack and coke and a girl on either side ♪ 587 00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:45,348 ♪ With a jack and coke and a girl on either side ♪ 588 00:29:45,479 --> 00:29:50,092 ♪ With a jack and coke and a girl on either side ♪ 589 00:29:50,223 --> 00:29:59,101 [♪♪♪] 590 00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:22,603 [WAVES CRASHING] 591 00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:31,742 This is nuts! 592 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:34,006 Mick, Mase! 593 00:30:34,136 --> 00:30:35,921 I remember everything. 594 00:30:36,051 --> 00:30:38,793 Oi, get off my horse, you fuckin' weirdo. 595 00:30:38,924 --> 00:30:40,664 But she's hot. 596 00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:43,058 At last we're on the same page. 597 00:30:43,189 --> 00:30:46,322 Ok, we need to find two more surfers, 598 00:30:46,453 --> 00:30:48,977 plus one more surfer after that. 599 00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:51,327 Wait, you mean...? 600 00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:53,460 Yep, we need three more surfers. 601 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:54,809 And then what? 602 00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:57,159 If we combine all our surf powers 603 00:30:57,290 --> 00:31:00,423 and make the greatest surf movie in the universe, 604 00:31:00,554 --> 00:31:02,773 it might just snap all the world's surfers 605 00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,688 into riding waves again. 606 00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:06,952 But how are we supposed to find these surfers? 607 00:31:07,082 --> 00:31:07,778 [MUSIC IN DISTANCE] 608 00:31:07,909 --> 00:31:10,259 Hey, can you guys hear that? 609 00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:12,348 Sounds like a music festival. 610 00:31:12,479 --> 00:31:15,351 Fuckin' oath! Live music? 611 00:31:15,482 --> 00:31:17,310 I wonder if Tool are playing? 612 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:18,659 Or Grinspoon? 613 00:31:18,789 --> 00:31:20,791 Or even Phil from Grinspoon! 614 00:31:20,922 --> 00:31:21,749 MASON: Ohh! 615 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,012 Maybe Jimmy Hendrix is playing! 616 00:31:24,143 --> 00:31:26,623 Maybe Stinga Razorblades is playing! 617 00:31:26,754 --> 00:31:28,277 Let's go check it out. 618 00:31:30,671 --> 00:31:34,022 [SINGS OUT OF TUNE] 619 00:31:34,153 --> 00:31:37,156 ♪ When I first tried jammin' 620 00:31:37,286 --> 00:31:41,508 ♪ It was one of the best days of my life... ♪ 621 00:31:43,075 --> 00:31:43,902 WILKO: Fuck! 622 00:31:44,032 --> 00:31:45,468 Stinga Razorblades. 623 00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,427 He's the greatest. 624 00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:49,559 How good's his music? 625 00:31:49,690 --> 00:31:51,257 MICK: That's awful. 626 00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:54,260 Sounds like a banshee drowning in a bathtub. 627 00:31:54,390 --> 00:31:56,001 MASON: I'm kinda digging it. 628 00:31:56,131 --> 00:31:58,699 Reminds me of freeform jazz 629 00:31:58,829 --> 00:32:01,702 or having an earthworm crawl into your ear. 630 00:32:01,832 --> 00:32:04,139 This cunt is ripping. 631 00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:05,924 Holy fuck! 632 00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:08,100 ♪ ...when I was 27 633 00:32:08,230 --> 00:32:09,014 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 634 00:32:09,144 --> 00:32:10,232 Thank you, everyone. 635 00:32:10,363 --> 00:32:11,625 Thank you so much. 636 00:32:11,755 --> 00:32:13,453 And see you again next year. 637 00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:14,715 Wait. 638 00:32:14,845 --> 00:32:16,935 You know who that is? 639 00:32:17,065 --> 00:32:18,501 That's Freestone! 640 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:19,981 Freestone? 641 00:32:20,112 --> 00:32:22,157 Nah, I'm Stinga Razorblades. 642 00:32:22,288 --> 00:32:24,246 I don't know any surfer called Freestone. 643 00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:26,379 -I'm out of here. -MICK: Nah. 644 00:32:26,509 --> 00:32:28,294 He's full of shit. 645 00:32:28,424 --> 00:32:30,383 That's Freestone for sure. 646 00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:31,253 Come one, boys. 647 00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:33,908 Let's head backstage. 648 00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:36,345 WILKO: Backstage at a Stinga Razorblades gig. 649 00:32:36,476 --> 00:32:37,868 No way. 650 00:32:37,999 --> 00:32:40,523 Mum will never believe this shit. 651 00:32:40,654 --> 00:32:42,264 [MASON WHINNIES] 652 00:32:42,395 --> 00:32:44,049 Stinga Razorblades. 653 00:32:44,179 --> 00:32:47,182 Oh, man, that was awesome! 654 00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:48,357 Thanks, man. 655 00:32:48,488 --> 00:32:50,446 But how did you guys get backstage? 656 00:32:50,577 --> 00:32:52,013 Have you got AAA passes? 657 00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:54,407 'Cause this is actually VIP only. 658 00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:56,191 Has anyone seen Elton? 659 00:32:56,322 --> 00:32:58,498 I'm meant to be meeting him back here. 660 00:32:58,628 --> 00:33:02,284 Freestone, I know you didn't get the vaccine. 661 00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:04,547 You've never been into that shit. 662 00:33:04,678 --> 00:33:07,246 So that means your memory never got wiped. 663 00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:09,074 Yeah, I never got the jab. 664 00:33:09,204 --> 00:33:11,511 But to be honest, man, I just wanted to sing. 665 00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:13,469 Haven't you heard my latest single? 666 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,254 'Ranga in a Little G-banger'? 667 00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:17,125 Goes a little somethin' like this... 668 00:33:17,256 --> 00:33:19,475 [SINGS] ♪ Have you ever seen a ranga 669 00:33:19,606 --> 00:33:21,695 ♪ In a little G-banger ♪ 670 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:25,568 BOTH: ♪ Or a ghost that is really a steer ♪ 671 00:33:25,699 --> 00:33:30,443 ♪ Let the children play in the field... ♪ 672 00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:32,140 Listen, mate, 673 00:33:32,271 --> 00:33:36,014 we're here to save surfing and we need your help to do it. 674 00:33:36,144 --> 00:33:37,624 Go back to surfing? 675 00:33:37,754 --> 00:33:39,017 No way, man. 676 00:33:39,147 --> 00:33:40,844 My life is here now. 677 00:33:40,975 --> 00:33:42,846 I'm a musician. 678 00:33:42,977 --> 00:33:46,285 Yeah, and he's actually fuckin' really good, eh? 679 00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:48,504 Yeah, I dig it too. 680 00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:50,550 You can't be serious. 681 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,466 He was born to surf and look pretty 682 00:33:53,596 --> 00:33:55,381 and that's it. 683 00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:59,689 Jack, 10 years ago a sport existed. 684 00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:03,606 It was called surfing, and you fuckin' dominated it. 685 00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:04,868 And then... 686 00:34:04,999 --> 00:34:07,349 Save the speech, cunt, I didn't get the jab. 687 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,351 I remember everything. 688 00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,528 Then how can you turn your back on surfing? 689 00:34:12,659 --> 00:34:13,747 Wait! 690 00:34:13,877 --> 00:34:15,966 Man, that's a great title for a song. 691 00:34:16,097 --> 00:34:20,623 [SINGS] ♪ How can I turn my back on surfing? ♪ 692 00:34:22,103 --> 00:34:24,366 [UPBEAT SONG PLAYS] 693 00:34:24,497 --> 00:34:27,413 ♪ I'll sting your face like a razor blade ♪ 694 00:34:27,543 --> 00:34:30,851 ♪ I wash my balls in lemonade 695 00:34:30,981 --> 00:34:33,636 ♪ They're so tight you can see the shape ♪ 696 00:34:33,767 --> 00:34:36,900 ♪ Of a mongoose choking on a rattlesnake ♪ 697 00:34:37,031 --> 00:34:38,424 ♪ Well, babe I got a taste 698 00:34:38,554 --> 00:34:41,079 ♪ For that chicken and gravy roll ♪ 699 00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:46,475 ♪ I feel so good when I'm being bad ♪ 700 00:34:46,606 --> 00:34:49,783 ♪ I got nunchakus and it's super rad ♪ 701 00:34:49,913 --> 00:34:52,786 ♪ I swing 'em around and cut myself in the head ♪ 702 00:34:52,916 --> 00:34:56,050 ♪ Then I fall on the couch and I piss on the bed ♪ 703 00:34:56,181 --> 00:34:58,226 ♪ Well, babe, I better burn those sheets ♪ 704 00:34:58,357 --> 00:35:00,446 ♪ Before you get back home 705 00:35:02,839 --> 00:35:05,799 ♪ The tank is empty, the room is bright ♪ 706 00:35:05,929 --> 00:35:08,671 ♪ The wolves are rolling out the lippy tonight ♪ 707 00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:12,066 ♪ I can feel it burning down in my pants ♪ 708 00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:15,374 ♪ I musta sat on a nest of crazy bull ants ♪ 709 00:35:15,504 --> 00:35:18,290 ♪ Or maybe it's the fire deep down in my soul ♪ 710 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:20,074 ♪ Gotta jump that rattle snake ♪ 711 00:35:20,205 --> 00:35:21,989 ♪ Chase that chicken gravy roll ♪ 712 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:30,998 [♪♪♪] 713 00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:43,967 ♪ I'll sting your face like a razor blade ♪ 714 00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:47,057 ♪ I sting your face like a razor blade ♪ 715 00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:50,365 ♪ So damn sharp, I got it made ♪ 716 00:35:50,496 --> 00:35:53,673 ♪ I sting your fuckin' face like a razor fuckin' blade ♪ 717 00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:56,980 ♪ Too young to die, too old to cry ♪ 718 00:35:57,111 --> 00:36:00,245 ♪ Watch where you work, babe, you don't want pink eye ♪ 719 00:36:00,375 --> 00:36:03,248 ♪ The tank is empty and the moon is bright ♪ 720 00:36:03,378 --> 00:36:06,120 ♪ The wolves are rolling out the lippy tonight ♪ 721 00:36:06,251 --> 00:36:09,776 ♪ I can feel it burning down in my pants ♪ 722 00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:12,605 ♪ I musta sat on a nest of crazy bull ants ♪ 723 00:36:12,735 --> 00:36:15,695 ♪ Or maybe it's the fire deep down in my soul ♪ 724 00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:19,264 ♪ Gotta choke that rattlesnake, kiss that chicken gravy roll ♪ 725 00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:22,180 ♪ Maybe it's the fire deep down in my soul ♪ 726 00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:26,271 ♪ Gotta choke that rattlesnake, kiss that chicken gravy roll ♪ 727 00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:31,101 ♪ Gravy! 728 00:36:33,713 --> 00:36:34,757 [WAVES CRASHING] 729 00:36:38,326 --> 00:36:40,285 Wow, all this time I've been singing 730 00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:42,461 to try and ease the pain in my heart 731 00:36:42,591 --> 00:36:44,767 that I thought was from not being recognized 732 00:36:44,898 --> 00:36:49,337 as a musical genius like Vanilla Ice or DJ Fisher. 733 00:36:49,468 --> 00:36:50,947 But now I know the pain 734 00:36:51,078 --> 00:36:52,645 is from turning my back on surfing. 735 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:54,037 I miss surfing. 736 00:36:54,168 --> 00:36:56,083 I miss surfing so much. 737 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,432 [SNIFFLES] 738 00:36:57,563 --> 00:37:01,262 [SOBS LOUDLY] 739 00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:02,611 I'm sorry. 740 00:37:02,742 --> 00:37:04,526 I should've never stopped surfing. 741 00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:05,484 I suck at music. 742 00:37:05,614 --> 00:37:07,355 I'm so shit. 743 00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:09,096 Yeah, nah, you're right. 744 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,664 You're absolutely shit at music. 745 00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:15,015 I'm glad you've finally come to your senses. 746 00:37:15,145 --> 00:37:18,236 I'm gonna go tell my fans I can't keep doing this anymore. 747 00:37:18,366 --> 00:37:20,020 I can't keep living a lie. 748 00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:21,326 [AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 749 00:37:21,456 --> 00:37:23,458 Hey, guys. 750 00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:24,938 Guys, if I could have your attention 751 00:37:25,068 --> 00:37:26,679 for just a moment, please. 752 00:37:26,809 --> 00:37:28,158 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 753 00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:31,161 Hey, guys. Guys! 754 00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:32,511 [JACK TAPS MIC] 755 00:37:35,383 --> 00:37:36,950 Hey, shut the fuck up for a second! 756 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,561 [CRICKETS CHIRP] 757 00:37:39,692 --> 00:37:40,997 So, yeah. 758 00:37:41,128 --> 00:37:43,478 I just wanted to say I'm not really a rockstar. 759 00:37:43,609 --> 00:37:44,740 I'm a surfer. 760 00:37:44,871 --> 00:37:46,612 And I'm quitting music to go surf. 761 00:37:46,742 --> 00:37:49,179 -[CROWD BOOS] -[WILKO SOBS] 762 00:37:49,310 --> 00:37:50,746 Ah, don't do it, man! 763 00:37:50,877 --> 00:37:53,749 The world needs your music. 764 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,012 So, as a parting gift, 765 00:37:56,143 --> 00:37:57,492 I'm going to throw my guitar out there 766 00:37:57,623 --> 00:37:59,233 for one of you lucky fans to keep. 767 00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:01,061 [CROWD CHEERS] 768 00:38:01,191 --> 00:38:03,193 No, fuck that, I'm keeping it. 769 00:38:03,324 --> 00:38:05,370 But you guys can share the rest of my beer. 770 00:38:07,937 --> 00:38:09,722 [BURPS] I still have music in me! 771 00:38:09,852 --> 00:38:11,158 New album coming out soon! 772 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,813 -Woohoo! -MAN: You suck, Stinga! 773 00:38:13,943 --> 00:38:16,076 Ok, let's do this. 774 00:38:16,206 --> 00:38:17,904 How many more guys do we need? 775 00:38:18,034 --> 00:38:19,993 We need one more guy 776 00:38:20,123 --> 00:38:22,517 and then one more guy after that. 777 00:38:22,648 --> 00:38:26,042 Does that mean... we need two more guys? 778 00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:28,697 It means we have to save surfing, dude. 779 00:38:28,828 --> 00:38:31,831 And also that we need two more guys too. 780 00:38:31,961 --> 00:38:34,094 So, yeah, you were right about that part. 781 00:38:34,224 --> 00:38:35,965 Look, I'm pretty sure 782 00:38:36,096 --> 00:38:39,186 there's a pub on the other side of the desert near here. 783 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,015 Let's go there, we can have a beer, 784 00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:44,322 we can talk about our feelings 785 00:38:44,452 --> 00:38:46,672 and maybe work out our next move. 786 00:38:49,022 --> 00:38:51,546 NARRATOR: With four surfers locked in it's beginning to look like 787 00:38:51,677 --> 00:38:55,028 Hughie's brain fart of an idea may actually come together. 788 00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:59,337 But don't you get too excited, 789 00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:01,904 because there's a long way to go. 790 00:39:02,035 --> 00:39:03,906 Hmm... Yum. 791 00:39:04,037 --> 00:39:06,648 [MUNCHING] 792 00:39:06,779 --> 00:39:08,955 [SPITS] 793 00:39:09,085 --> 00:39:11,827 Fuckin' dog food! 794 00:39:11,958 --> 00:39:13,612 Actually not that bad. 795 00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:17,529 [UPBEAT SONG PLAYS] 796 00:39:17,659 --> 00:39:20,923 [INDISTINCT LYRICS] 797 00:39:21,054 --> 00:39:29,932 [♪♪♪] 798 00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:40,334 [HORSE WHINNIES] 799 00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:49,387 [♪♪♪] 800 00:40:12,279 --> 00:40:15,021 WILKO: Oi, Mick, I was thinking. 801 00:40:15,151 --> 00:40:16,805 What if we didn't make 802 00:40:16,936 --> 00:40:18,894 the greatest surf movie in the universe? 803 00:40:19,025 --> 00:40:23,377 Wasn't surfing already kinda sold out, played out, 804 00:40:23,508 --> 00:40:27,773 and just fuckin' crowded out with fuckin' reptile kooks 805 00:40:27,903 --> 00:40:29,383 before this virus hit? 806 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:30,645 Yeah, man. 807 00:40:30,776 --> 00:40:32,691 That's half the reason I got into music. 808 00:40:32,821 --> 00:40:36,956 I couldn't surf Snapper without 800 other people. 809 00:40:37,086 --> 00:40:39,306 Maybe we shouldn't make this movie. 810 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:41,874 Maybe we should keep all the perfect waves to ourselves. 811 00:40:42,004 --> 00:40:45,268 Ohh, boys, boys, boys, boys. 812 00:40:45,399 --> 00:40:48,141 I'm so disappointed in you lot. 813 00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:50,839 Think of all the joy surfing has given us. 814 00:40:50,970 --> 00:40:53,494 Think of the joy it brought to others. 815 00:40:53,625 --> 00:40:57,150 Surfing makes everyone a better version of themselves. 816 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,545 So many people lost so much during the virus. 817 00:41:00,675 --> 00:41:04,070 Surfing was one of the only great things left. 818 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,987 We have a duty to share surfing with the rest of the world. 819 00:41:08,117 --> 00:41:12,687 And that's why this mission is so important. 820 00:41:12,818 --> 00:41:15,255 You're a dead-set legend, mate. 821 00:41:15,385 --> 00:41:17,213 You selfless cunt. 822 00:41:17,344 --> 00:41:19,651 I'm actually ashamed of meself. 823 00:41:19,781 --> 00:41:21,914 MASON: Aww, you're the man. 824 00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:24,482 No wonder you're in the Hall of Fame. 825 00:41:24,612 --> 00:41:26,745 Yeah, well, Hughie also said 826 00:41:26,875 --> 00:41:29,182 he'd melt my face off if I didn't do it, 827 00:41:29,312 --> 00:41:31,532 so I'm pretty off that happening. 828 00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:33,229 Yeah, fair enough. 829 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:34,883 Good call. 830 00:41:35,014 --> 00:41:38,104 Yep, fuck getting your face melted off. 831 00:41:38,234 --> 00:41:42,238 [♪♪♪] 832 00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:46,199 [DISTANT HEAVY DANCE BEATS] 833 00:41:46,329 --> 00:41:48,027 WILKO: What is this place? 834 00:41:48,157 --> 00:41:52,335 Some kind of rank resort for retired pedos? 835 00:41:52,466 --> 00:41:55,164 MICK: I was told this was a pub. 836 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:57,602 Hey, I know what this is! 837 00:41:57,732 --> 00:41:59,995 This is a Burning Man yurt! 838 00:42:00,126 --> 00:42:02,650 Yes! I love Burning Man! 839 00:42:02,781 --> 00:42:04,304 Clothes off, boys. 840 00:42:04,434 --> 00:42:06,349 Poo wherever you like. 841 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,873 Anything goes at Burning Man. 842 00:42:08,003 --> 00:42:08,830 What? 843 00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:10,745 We can shit in the nude? 844 00:42:10,876 --> 00:42:12,181 Count me in! 845 00:42:12,312 --> 00:42:14,009 MICK: Fuckin' peanuts. 846 00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:16,795 Listen, Mase, we can't get stuck here, man. 847 00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:19,145 God only knows who owns this joint. 848 00:42:19,275 --> 00:42:21,626 Let's have a couple of beers and keep moving. 849 00:42:22,714 --> 00:42:23,845 No way! 850 00:42:23,976 --> 00:42:24,890 [CLAPS] 851 00:42:25,020 --> 00:42:26,979 [GULPING] 852 00:42:27,109 --> 00:42:31,766 [♪♪♪] 853 00:42:31,897 --> 00:42:33,072 [SLURPING] 854 00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:35,422 [LAUGHS] 855 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:36,597 Yes! 856 00:42:36,728 --> 00:42:37,772 Mase! 857 00:42:37,903 --> 00:42:40,688 MASON: Whoa, this place is crazy. 858 00:42:40,819 --> 00:42:42,690 I wonder who lives here. 859 00:42:42,821 --> 00:42:44,213 You guys find anyone? 860 00:42:44,344 --> 00:42:48,391 Nah, but the bar was stacked so we've helped ourselves. 861 00:42:48,522 --> 00:42:50,524 MAN: No way! Visitors! 862 00:42:50,655 --> 00:42:51,830 Guys, don't go anywhere. 863 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,135 I'll be right down. 864 00:42:53,266 --> 00:42:54,441 Don't move, okay? 865 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,922 Yooo! 866 00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:58,445 Welcome to my yurt, guys. 867 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,099 Far out, I haven't had visitors in years! 868 00:43:00,229 --> 00:43:01,579 This is all time. 869 00:43:01,709 --> 00:43:03,319 You guys want some wheat grass shots? 870 00:43:03,450 --> 00:43:05,539 You guys want a smoothie? You guys want some ribs? 871 00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:07,280 How about some buffalo wings? 872 00:43:07,410 --> 00:43:08,673 Whaaaaaat! 873 00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:10,022 You guys are crazy, man. 874 00:43:10,152 --> 00:43:13,765 Whoa, this guy is tweaked. 875 00:43:13,895 --> 00:43:15,027 Oh, man. 876 00:43:15,157 --> 00:43:16,855 It's so good to have best friends again. 877 00:43:16,985 --> 00:43:18,770 You guys can never leave, like ever. 878 00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:19,771 Can I touch your face? 879 00:43:19,901 --> 00:43:21,076 Wow! 880 00:43:21,207 --> 00:43:23,078 Your skin is so much better than Frisbee. 881 00:43:23,209 --> 00:43:24,210 He's my other best friend. 882 00:43:24,340 --> 00:43:25,167 He's over there. 883 00:43:25,298 --> 00:43:26,212 [BURPS] 884 00:43:26,342 --> 00:43:28,344 Mate, slow down. 885 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:29,911 Who are you? 886 00:43:30,042 --> 00:43:31,696 How long have you been here for? 887 00:43:31,826 --> 00:43:33,045 I don't know. 888 00:43:33,175 --> 00:43:34,699 I don't even remember how I got here. 889 00:43:34,829 --> 00:43:36,135 It was a long time ago. 890 00:43:36,265 --> 00:43:37,658 Anyway, do you guys work out? 891 00:43:37,789 --> 00:43:39,225 There's not a whole lot to do out here. 892 00:43:39,355 --> 00:43:40,400 I do a lot of sit-ups. 893 00:43:40,530 --> 00:43:41,749 Check these abs! 894 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,012 Baby, you could grate cheese on these suckers! 895 00:43:44,143 --> 00:43:46,275 Hey, I've been working on this new riff 896 00:43:46,406 --> 00:43:47,407 for the end of the section 897 00:43:47,537 --> 00:43:50,279 of the greatest surf movie in the universe. 898 00:43:50,410 --> 00:43:51,541 You guys want to hear it? 899 00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,893 Mate, I'd rip my dick off to hear that song. 900 00:43:55,023 --> 00:43:57,417 Look, mate, we're trying to find surfers. 901 00:43:57,547 --> 00:44:00,376 You haven't had any swing by this place, have ya? 902 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:03,728 -Surfers? What is surfers? -[JACK SINGS SONG] 903 00:44:03,858 --> 00:44:06,818 Jack! Shut the fuck up! 904 00:44:06,948 --> 00:44:08,210 No, mate I'm lovin' it. 905 00:44:08,341 --> 00:44:11,257 -Keep on going. -Thanks, man. 906 00:44:11,387 --> 00:44:13,259 You want some cola with that bourbon? 907 00:44:13,389 --> 00:44:14,521 Cola? 908 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,827 Oh, brah! 909 00:44:15,957 --> 00:44:18,830 Mick, I think I know this kid! 910 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,483 I think it's Griff! 911 00:44:20,614 --> 00:44:22,529 Griffin Colapinto. 912 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:25,097 Griff? Griff? 913 00:44:25,227 --> 00:44:26,359 Griffin! 914 00:44:26,489 --> 00:44:28,143 Oh, yeah, that is my name. 915 00:44:28,274 --> 00:44:29,231 My name is Griff. 916 00:44:29,362 --> 00:44:30,885 I remember that. 917 00:44:31,016 --> 00:44:32,321 Holy shit! 918 00:44:32,452 --> 00:44:34,367 Of all the yurts in the world 919 00:44:34,497 --> 00:44:37,936 we happen to walk in the one with ripped Griff living in it! 920 00:44:38,066 --> 00:44:40,199 This is the fifth surfer! 921 00:44:40,329 --> 00:44:42,854 Griff, I know this is gonna sound weird, 922 00:44:42,984 --> 00:44:45,508 but 10 years ago a sport existed. 923 00:44:45,639 --> 00:44:49,469 It was called surfing, and you fuckin' dominated it. 924 00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:50,949 Then a virus hit 925 00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:54,256 and some dumb cunt made some stupid vaccine 926 00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:56,737 that erased all our fuckin' memories. 927 00:44:56,868 --> 00:44:59,479 Now Hughie the Surf God wants us to make 928 00:44:59,609 --> 00:45:01,829 the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 929 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,179 We're here because you're going to be in it. 930 00:45:04,310 --> 00:45:06,138 You're gonna help save surfing. 931 00:45:06,268 --> 00:45:08,967 You gotta try to remember us, man. 932 00:45:09,097 --> 00:45:12,579 You even stayed at my house once and the surf was cooking. 933 00:45:12,710 --> 00:45:14,146 Hang on a minute. 934 00:45:14,276 --> 00:45:16,104 I think I remember that too. 935 00:45:16,235 --> 00:45:19,455 Did we do, like, 1000 sit-ups when I stayed at your place? 936 00:45:19,586 --> 00:45:23,459 Mate, we did 100,000 sit-ups together. 937 00:45:24,504 --> 00:45:26,593 Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?! 938 00:45:28,813 --> 00:45:31,859 [FUNKY SONG PLAYS] 939 00:45:31,990 --> 00:45:37,560 [♪♪♪] 940 00:45:37,691 --> 00:45:39,911 ♪ I'll kiss you where the sun don't shine ♪ 941 00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:42,174 ♪ And I'll let you lick me abs while we wine and dine ♪ 942 00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:44,393 ♪ 'Cause I'll be anything you like if you treat me right ♪ 943 00:45:44,524 --> 00:45:46,613 ♪ We be pushing those reps in the yurt all night ♪ 944 00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:49,181 ♪ They call me Ripped Griff, come and take a whiff ♪ 945 00:45:49,311 --> 00:45:51,661 ♪ Flowing like a gun, yeah, I be super fit, baby ♪ 946 00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:53,838 ♪ Still repping, boy be shredding ♪ 947 00:45:53,968 --> 00:45:55,883 ♪ Come on inside where I'll be suppersetting ♪ 948 00:45:56,014 --> 00:45:58,320 ♪ Got the tightest abdominal, baby, they're phenomenal ♪ 949 00:45:58,451 --> 00:46:00,453 ♪ You could grate cheese on these suckers when you please ♪ 950 00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:02,890 ♪ Hi, my name's Griffin ♪ 951 00:46:03,021 --> 00:46:05,023 ♪ And I'll be your best friend ♪ 952 00:46:05,153 --> 00:46:06,285 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 953 00:46:06,415 --> 00:46:07,286 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 954 00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:08,504 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 955 00:46:08,635 --> 00:46:09,549 ♪ Griffin ♪ 956 00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:10,898 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 957 00:46:11,029 --> 00:46:12,465 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 958 00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:13,945 ♪ You're my best friend Oh, oh ♪ 959 00:46:14,075 --> 00:46:15,381 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 960 00:46:15,511 --> 00:46:16,425 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 961 00:46:16,556 --> 00:46:17,557 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 962 00:46:17,687 --> 00:46:18,601 ♪ Griffin ♪ 963 00:46:18,732 --> 00:46:19,951 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 964 00:46:20,081 --> 00:46:21,474 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 965 00:46:21,604 --> 00:46:23,171 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 966 00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:27,785 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 967 00:46:27,915 --> 00:46:29,961 ♪ I've been livin' since the day I was born ♪ 968 00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:32,659 ♪ Hanging in my yurt all alone getting torn ♪ 969 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,487 ♪ Lovin' nothing but to get my shred on ♪ 970 00:46:34,617 --> 00:46:36,968 ♪ Yeah, I'm hardcore pumping in the eye of the storm ♪ 971 00:46:37,098 --> 00:46:39,318 ♪ Pushing all day and pulling all night ♪ 972 00:46:39,448 --> 00:46:41,363 ♪ Baby got the buzz that's gonna make your fire light ♪ 973 00:46:41,494 --> 00:46:43,583 ♪ I'm a man of my word and my word is out ♪ 974 00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:46,281 ♪ You posers best watch out, I'm eating low-carb cookies ♪ 975 00:46:46,412 --> 00:46:48,283 ♪ I'm hot, feeling that heat ♪ 976 00:46:48,414 --> 00:46:50,459 ♪ Gucci on my feet, yo, frisbee take a seat ♪ 977 00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:52,940 ♪ Hi, my name's Griffin ♪ 978 00:46:53,071 --> 00:46:55,073 ♪ And I'll be your best friend ♪ 979 00:46:55,203 --> 00:46:56,422 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 980 00:46:56,552 --> 00:46:57,423 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 981 00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:58,554 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 982 00:46:58,685 --> 00:46:59,555 ♪ Griffin ♪ 983 00:46:59,686 --> 00:47:00,948 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 984 00:47:01,079 --> 00:47:02,167 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 985 00:47:02,297 --> 00:47:03,342 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 986 00:47:03,472 --> 00:47:04,256 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 987 00:47:04,386 --> 00:47:05,605 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 988 00:47:05,735 --> 00:47:06,562 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah ♪ 989 00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:07,694 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 990 00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:08,738 ♪ Griffin ♪ 991 00:47:08,869 --> 00:47:10,088 ♪ Griffin, Griffin ♪ 992 00:47:10,218 --> 00:47:11,611 ♪ Na, na-nah, nah. ♪ 993 00:47:11,741 --> 00:47:13,613 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 994 00:47:13,743 --> 00:47:17,660 [♪♪♪] 995 00:47:26,626 --> 00:47:27,845 No way! 996 00:47:27,975 --> 00:47:29,803 I can't believe we're not surfing anymore. 997 00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:31,979 All this time I've been eating sand 998 00:47:32,110 --> 00:47:35,722 and grating cheese on my abs when I could've been surfing. 999 00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:38,812 Far out, we only need one more surfer. 1000 00:47:38,943 --> 00:47:41,423 This is actually gonna happen. 1001 00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:44,992 Oi! You two wombats, put on some clothes. 1002 00:47:45,123 --> 00:47:46,951 We need to call in the big guns. 1003 00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:50,606 And to do it we're gonna have a seance. 1004 00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:59,615 [♪♪♪] 1005 00:48:03,315 --> 00:48:05,839 [BOYS GIGGLE] 1006 00:48:05,970 --> 00:48:10,148 Ok, guys, to make this work we need total concentration. 1007 00:48:10,278 --> 00:48:11,323 Breathe in. 1008 00:48:11,453 --> 00:48:12,802 [LOUD BREATH] 1009 00:48:12,933 --> 00:48:14,543 Hold. 1010 00:48:14,674 --> 00:48:16,023 Squeeze your balloon knot 1011 00:48:16,154 --> 00:48:18,373 into the size of a wasabi pea. 1012 00:48:18,504 --> 00:48:23,378 And then when you breathe out say 'Hohmmmm.' 1013 00:48:23,509 --> 00:48:25,815 -[JACK LAUGHS] -Freestone! 1014 00:48:25,946 --> 00:48:29,950 Mate, this spirro shit is not to be messed with. 1015 00:48:30,081 --> 00:48:32,387 If we lose each other in the spirit realm, 1016 00:48:32,518 --> 00:48:36,000 you can end up in some pretty fucked up places. 1017 00:48:36,130 --> 00:48:39,699 So concentrate, and try to stick together in there. 1018 00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:43,659 Remember, the future of surfing is depending on us. 1019 00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:45,270 These mushies might help. 1020 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,967 I found them outside. You want some? 1021 00:48:47,098 --> 00:48:50,753 Oohhh, yes! 1022 00:48:50,884 --> 00:48:54,148 Ohmmmmm. 1023 00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:58,109 ALL: Ohmmmmm. 1024 00:49:05,594 --> 00:49:08,032 Shit! We lost the boys. 1025 00:49:08,162 --> 00:49:09,729 They could be anywhere. 1026 00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:12,688 JACK: Waaaa! 1027 00:49:12,819 --> 00:49:14,473 MASON: Nooooo! 1028 00:49:14,603 --> 00:49:16,605 That's crazy. 1029 00:49:16,736 --> 00:49:18,085 MASON: This is the best! 1030 00:49:18,216 --> 00:49:20,305 -Are you kidding me? -Fuck that! 1031 00:49:22,524 --> 00:49:24,570 [LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY] 1032 00:49:24,700 --> 00:49:26,920 What the fuck was that? 1033 00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:31,490 Ohhh, fuck, I am tripping balls. 1034 00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:34,797 Ohhh, I think I've had too much. 1035 00:49:34,928 --> 00:49:36,669 I feel like I'm gonna shit myself. 1036 00:49:36,799 --> 00:49:39,237 [FARTS] 1037 00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:42,109 Oh, no, it was just a fart. 1038 00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:44,894 Oh, I don't know if I'm supposed to be here. 1039 00:49:48,028 --> 00:49:49,160 [DOOR SLAMS] 1040 00:49:49,290 --> 00:49:50,378 Mum? 1041 00:49:50,509 --> 00:49:52,119 Mum? 1042 00:49:52,250 --> 00:49:54,469 Mummy, is that you? 1043 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,776 [CREATURE SNARLING] 1044 00:49:56,906 --> 00:50:05,785 [♪♪♪] 1045 00:50:09,919 --> 00:50:12,922 What the fuck is going on? 1046 00:50:19,364 --> 00:50:21,453 VOICE: [WHISPERS] Come closer. 1047 00:50:21,583 --> 00:50:25,196 What is this? 1048 00:50:25,326 --> 00:50:28,155 VOICE: [WHISPERS] Come closer. 1049 00:50:28,286 --> 00:50:30,853 [TV STATIC] 1050 00:50:34,553 --> 00:50:36,816 [HEART BEATING] 1051 00:50:39,558 --> 00:50:41,690 [SQUEALS, FARTS] 1052 00:50:43,518 --> 00:50:44,911 Don't worry, man. 1053 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,000 They'll find their way back. 1054 00:50:47,131 --> 00:50:48,349 Eventually. 1055 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:49,568 [BLEEPING] 1056 00:50:51,483 --> 00:50:53,789 Hello, Mick Fanno and Unimason. 1057 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,662 Congratulations on your journey so far. 1058 00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:57,880 You have gathered five 1059 00:50:58,011 --> 00:51:00,709 of the greatest wave riders to have ever lived. 1060 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,363 If you can find one more, 1061 00:51:02,494 --> 00:51:03,756 you will be able to make 1062 00:51:03,886 --> 00:51:06,019 the greatest surf movie in the universe 1063 00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:07,673 and save surfing. 1064 00:51:07,803 --> 00:51:09,414 Yeah, but, Hughie, the problem is 1065 00:51:09,544 --> 00:51:12,939 we don't know who to get next or where to find them. 1066 00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:14,810 You won't need to find them. 1067 00:51:14,941 --> 00:51:16,682 They will find you. 1068 00:51:16,812 --> 00:51:19,163 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 1069 00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:21,991 Man, I hate this spirro shit talk. 1070 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:24,298 Hey, Hughie, 1071 00:51:24,429 --> 00:51:26,866 is it true you're gonna melt our faces off 1072 00:51:26,996 --> 00:51:29,347 if we fail in this righteous mission? 1073 00:51:29,477 --> 00:51:31,697 Yes, Unimason, it is true. 1074 00:51:31,827 --> 00:51:33,046 Brah. 1075 00:51:33,177 --> 00:51:35,222 That's pretty heavy. 1076 00:51:35,353 --> 00:51:37,964 I could melt your dick off instead? 1077 00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,574 Face is fine, man. 1078 00:51:39,705 --> 00:51:41,228 The face is fine. 1079 00:51:41,359 --> 00:51:42,708 I thought so. 1080 00:51:42,838 --> 00:51:46,015 So, do we just sit and wait for this surfer to appear? 1081 00:51:46,146 --> 00:51:47,756 You won't have to wait long. 1082 00:51:47,887 --> 00:51:49,976 Hughie, you done with that call yet brother? 1083 00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:51,978 Let's sing some tunes. [PLAYS GUITAR] 1084 00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:53,284 I must go now. 1085 00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:54,763 Stay on the path. 1086 00:51:54,894 --> 00:51:56,461 Keep the faith. 1087 00:51:58,027 --> 00:52:00,508 [SINGS] ♪ Strawberry jam all over my hand... ♪ 1088 00:52:00,639 --> 00:52:02,989 Meh, the mission is definitely gonna fail 1089 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,296 with those ding-dongs trying to save it. 1090 00:52:05,426 --> 00:52:07,211 Did you hang up properly? 1091 00:52:07,341 --> 00:52:08,908 Ooh, shit! 1092 00:52:09,038 --> 00:52:10,605 Hi, guys, ignore that. 1093 00:52:10,736 --> 00:52:11,432 Different mission. 1094 00:52:11,563 --> 00:52:12,999 Uh... stay on the path. 1095 00:52:13,130 --> 00:52:14,087 Keep the faith. 1096 00:52:14,218 --> 00:52:15,523 Fuckin' technology. 1097 00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:17,917 Modern phone bullshit, someone's always listening. 1098 00:52:18,047 --> 00:52:19,266 Fuck! 1099 00:52:21,703 --> 00:52:24,358 What happened to you guys? 1100 00:52:24,489 --> 00:52:26,273 Where did you end up, Wilko? 1101 00:52:26,404 --> 00:52:28,406 You don't want to know, mate. 1102 00:52:28,536 --> 00:52:30,930 Let's just say, I had to ditch me undies 1103 00:52:31,060 --> 00:52:33,411 'cause they're full of wet fart. 1104 00:52:33,541 --> 00:52:35,891 Well, you heard Hughie. 1105 00:52:36,022 --> 00:52:38,416 I guess we just sit here and wait. 1106 00:52:38,546 --> 00:52:42,376 [♪♪♪] 1107 00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:48,382 [ETHEREAL MUSIC] 1108 00:52:54,693 --> 00:52:56,912 GRIFF: Whoa! Did you guys see that? 1109 00:52:57,043 --> 00:52:58,740 What was what? 1110 00:53:00,438 --> 00:53:01,917 Oi, cunt! 1111 00:53:02,048 --> 00:53:03,615 We can see ya. 1112 00:53:03,745 --> 00:53:04,920 MAN: Shhh. 1113 00:53:05,051 --> 00:53:06,531 Who is this guy? 1114 00:53:06,661 --> 00:53:08,924 Do you think he'll be my best friend too? 1115 00:53:10,056 --> 00:53:11,188 I am a shadow. 1116 00:53:11,318 --> 00:53:13,581 When I move, nobody sees me. 1117 00:53:13,712 --> 00:53:16,976 I strike like a cobra, I bite like a bull ant, 1118 00:53:17,106 --> 00:53:19,500 I'm smoother than a shaved pussycat. 1119 00:53:19,631 --> 00:53:21,676 Some people call me Phantasma. 1120 00:53:21,807 --> 00:53:23,025 I am invisible. 1121 00:53:23,156 --> 00:53:24,331 I have no face. 1122 00:53:24,462 --> 00:53:25,332 I have no name. 1123 00:53:25,463 --> 00:53:26,812 I am a ghost. 1124 00:53:26,942 --> 00:53:28,857 -Wait a minute. -What? 1125 00:53:28,988 --> 00:53:30,816 You do have a face. 1126 00:53:30,946 --> 00:53:31,904 You lied to us. 1127 00:53:32,034 --> 00:53:33,384 Not cool. 1128 00:53:33,514 --> 00:53:34,733 Ando! 1129 00:53:34,863 --> 00:53:36,343 Holy shit! 1130 00:53:36,474 --> 00:53:37,562 That's Craig Anderson! 1131 00:53:37,692 --> 00:53:39,172 Whooah! 1132 00:53:39,303 --> 00:53:40,869 It's true. 1133 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,306 I'm Ando. 1134 00:53:42,436 --> 00:53:45,831 I'm a martial arts warrior, a ninja. 1135 00:53:45,961 --> 00:53:47,659 I move like hot wind, 1136 00:53:47,789 --> 00:53:49,704 silent and deadly. 1137 00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,404 Craig, do you know why you're here? 1138 00:53:53,534 --> 00:53:56,233 Yeah, I was hired by this anonymous client 1139 00:53:56,363 --> 00:53:58,974 to break into the world's most fortified building. 1140 00:53:59,105 --> 00:54:01,977 My mission was to retrieve this secret recording. 1141 00:54:02,108 --> 00:54:03,718 I'm supposed to deliver it here. 1142 00:54:03,849 --> 00:54:06,286 -Who was the client? -He did not say. 1143 00:54:06,417 --> 00:54:08,375 All he said was that he'd be here. 1144 00:54:08,506 --> 00:54:10,247 And if I did not accept the job, 1145 00:54:10,377 --> 00:54:12,118 he would melt my face off. 1146 00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:13,598 Hughie! 1147 00:54:13,728 --> 00:54:15,121 JOE: It was Hughie, guys. 1148 00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:18,994 He sent Ando to find the truth about how surfing got erased. 1149 00:54:19,125 --> 00:54:20,996 That's what he's got on that disk there. 1150 00:54:21,127 --> 00:54:22,650 Let's see what it tells us. 1151 00:54:22,781 --> 00:54:25,305 -Where'd you come from? -Oh, I'm always everywhere. 1152 00:54:25,436 --> 00:54:29,614 Watching, listening, talking! 1153 00:54:29,744 --> 00:54:31,877 Guys, I've nearly finished my song. 1154 00:54:32,007 --> 00:54:33,574 You've gotta hear it. 1155 00:54:33,705 --> 00:54:34,706 Yes! 1156 00:54:34,836 --> 00:54:37,970 [static] 1157 00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:46,283 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] Yes! 1158 00:54:46,413 --> 00:54:48,459 I can't believe I've done it! 1159 00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:50,330 I've created a virus 1160 00:54:50,461 --> 00:54:53,681 to rid the world of overpopulated line-ups 1161 00:54:53,812 --> 00:54:56,293 and a vaccine that's going to erase the memories 1162 00:54:56,423 --> 00:54:58,295 of all the surfers that are left. 1163 00:54:58,425 --> 00:55:01,472 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1164 00:55:01,602 --> 00:55:05,084 I'm gonna have the world's most perfect waves all to meself. 1165 00:55:05,214 --> 00:55:08,043 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1166 00:55:09,697 --> 00:55:10,872 MICK: Oh, my God! 1167 00:55:11,003 --> 00:55:12,874 It was Fig! 1168 00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:17,705 That greedy fuck wants the surf all to himself. 1169 00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:20,969 So that was his diabolical plan the whole time. 1170 00:55:21,100 --> 00:55:22,493 The cunt. 1171 00:55:22,623 --> 00:55:24,277 What a horrible man. 1172 00:55:24,408 --> 00:55:25,757 He's horrible. 1173 00:55:25,887 --> 00:55:27,846 I don't understand. 1174 00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:29,978 Craig, look at me. 1175 00:55:30,109 --> 00:55:32,372 10 years ago a sport existed. 1176 00:55:32,503 --> 00:55:36,550 It was called surfing, and you fuckin' dominated it. 1177 00:55:36,681 --> 00:55:37,899 Then a virus hit 1178 00:55:38,030 --> 00:55:40,337 and some dumb cunt made some shit vaccine 1179 00:55:40,467 --> 00:55:43,340 that erased all our fuckin' memories. 1180 00:55:43,470 --> 00:55:45,211 Now Hughie the Surf God 1181 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:49,084 wants us to make the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 1182 00:55:49,215 --> 00:55:51,478 We're here because you're going to be in it. 1183 00:55:51,609 --> 00:55:54,742 You're gonna help save surfing. 1184 00:55:54,873 --> 00:55:56,657 [RECORD SCRATCHES] 1185 00:55:56,788 --> 00:55:58,267 Oh... Oh, man. 1186 00:55:58,398 --> 00:55:59,443 I think you should know 1187 00:55:59,573 --> 00:56:01,009 you've got a little booger in your nose. 1188 00:56:01,140 --> 00:56:02,097 Oh, I do? 1189 00:56:02,228 --> 00:56:03,534 How embarrassing. 1190 00:56:03,664 --> 00:56:05,971 It's actually... It's pretty off-putting. 1191 00:56:06,101 --> 00:56:06,972 Thanks, man. 1192 00:56:07,102 --> 00:56:08,800 There's nothing worse. 1193 00:56:08,930 --> 00:56:10,715 Come on, Ando. 1194 00:56:10,845 --> 00:56:12,804 Your hair is so beautiful. 1195 00:56:12,934 --> 00:56:14,458 It smells like puppies! 1196 00:56:14,588 --> 00:56:16,024 Surely you remember. 1197 00:56:16,155 --> 00:56:17,809 Yeah, man, you dominated. 1198 00:56:17,939 --> 00:56:20,725 [♪♪♪] 1199 00:56:20,855 --> 00:56:24,598 [FUNKY SONG PLAYS] 1200 00:56:24,729 --> 00:56:33,564 [♪♪♪] 1201 00:56:49,884 --> 00:56:52,060 ♪ Fly kick face, only flare and grace ♪ 1202 00:56:52,191 --> 00:56:54,889 ♪ Yeah, I move like the ninja at the fastest pace ♪ 1203 00:56:55,020 --> 00:56:57,675 ♪ You won't see me 'cause I'm already gone ♪ 1204 00:56:57,805 --> 00:57:00,199 ♪ Drinking ice tea with my weapons drawn ♪ 1205 00:57:00,329 --> 00:57:02,723 ♪ I'm the kindest ninja you'll ever meet ♪ 1206 00:57:02,854 --> 00:57:05,378 ♪ But if you do me wrong you're gonna feel my feet ♪ 1207 00:57:05,509 --> 00:57:07,902 ♪ And the heat in the air 'cause it's hot over here ♪ 1208 00:57:08,033 --> 00:57:10,557 ♪ I wear a full body suit no flowing air ♪ 1209 00:57:10,688 --> 00:57:13,255 ♪ When I get back home gonna strip right off ♪ 1210 00:57:13,386 --> 00:57:15,910 ♪ Be a gentleman with my dick in my hand ♪ 1211 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:18,696 ♪ 'Cause I ain't got time for a lady ♪ 1212 00:57:18,826 --> 00:57:21,394 ♪ Martial arts, man, yeah, that's my baby ♪ 1213 00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:23,875 ♪ Love kung fu and I love karate ♪ 1214 00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:26,660 ♪ But most of all, man, I love to party ♪ 1215 00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:29,358 ♪ Ninja style doing lines off a nunchuck ♪ 1216 00:57:29,489 --> 00:57:31,883 ♪ Going round friends for weekly pot luck ♪ 1217 00:57:32,013 --> 00:57:34,451 ♪ Say what's up I made a kung pow chicken ♪ 1218 00:57:34,581 --> 00:57:35,539 ♪ Yeah, that's right, 1219 00:57:35,669 --> 00:57:37,279 ♪ Oh, I'm a weapon in the kitchen ♪ 1220 00:57:37,410 --> 00:57:39,586 ♪ Give me a kiss and I'll kick your face ♪ 1221 00:57:39,717 --> 00:57:42,459 ♪ I'm a ninja man of the highest grace ♪ 1222 00:57:44,025 --> 00:57:45,113 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1223 00:57:46,724 --> 00:57:48,073 ♪ That's what's up ♪ 1224 00:57:50,075 --> 00:57:51,250 ♪ Ninja style ♪ 1225 00:57:55,167 --> 00:57:56,690 ♪ Ando man ♪ 1226 00:57:56,821 --> 00:58:01,478 [♪♪♪] 1227 00:58:08,354 --> 00:58:10,835 Yes! I do remember! 1228 00:58:10,965 --> 00:58:13,402 We've gotta stop this evil at all costs. 1229 00:58:13,533 --> 00:58:16,275 But breaking into Fig's house is extremely dangerous. 1230 00:58:16,405 --> 00:58:19,147 He has six bodyguards with him at all times. 1231 00:58:19,278 --> 00:58:22,803 And he also has a room full of strange hunting spears, 1232 00:58:22,934 --> 00:58:25,502 weapons the likes of which I've never seen before. 1233 00:58:25,632 --> 00:58:28,635 Wait, Craig, these hunting spears, 1234 00:58:28,766 --> 00:58:30,463 what did they look like? 1235 00:58:30,594 --> 00:58:32,030 Were they six foot tall? 1236 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:33,379 They look like aeroplane wings? 1237 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:34,772 Yeah, man. 1238 00:58:34,902 --> 00:58:36,425 That's exactly what they looked like. 1239 00:58:36,556 --> 00:58:38,602 With the weird little dolphin dorsals on the bottom. 1240 00:58:38,732 --> 00:58:40,473 Surfboards! 1241 00:58:40,604 --> 00:58:42,780 We can't make the greatest surf movie in the universe 1242 00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:44,172 without them. 1243 00:58:44,303 --> 00:58:46,000 We're gonna have to break into Fig's 1244 00:58:46,131 --> 00:58:47,611 and steal these fuckers. 1245 00:58:47,741 --> 00:58:49,003 Surfboards! 1246 00:58:49,134 --> 00:58:51,440 Oh, baby, let's do this! 1247 00:58:51,571 --> 00:58:52,790 We gotta do it, man. 1248 00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:54,313 I can't go back to living in that yurt 1249 00:58:54,443 --> 00:58:55,880 eating sand every day. 1250 00:58:56,010 --> 00:58:59,013 My dentist said it's real bad for my teeth on the way in. 1251 00:58:59,144 --> 00:59:01,755 That's nothing compared to what it's doing on the way out. 1252 00:59:01,886 --> 00:59:04,018 [FARTS] It's burning out my ass! 1253 00:59:04,149 --> 00:59:06,194 I can't even fart anymore! 1254 00:59:06,325 --> 00:59:10,372 How about we just take a quick five and listen to my song? 1255 00:59:10,503 --> 00:59:12,157 It's settled, then. 1256 00:59:12,287 --> 00:59:13,985 You'll take us to Fig's, 1257 00:59:14,115 --> 00:59:16,291 we'll expose the truth about him, 1258 00:59:16,422 --> 00:59:18,032 steal the boards 1259 00:59:18,163 --> 00:59:21,253 and then go make the greatest surfing movie in the universe. 1260 00:59:21,383 --> 00:59:23,168 Yeah, but should we actually do all that 1261 00:59:23,298 --> 00:59:25,213 after we listen to my song? 1262 00:59:25,344 --> 00:59:26,693 Ok, I'm going to play it. 1263 00:59:26,824 --> 00:59:29,174 Shut up, cunt! 1264 00:59:29,304 --> 00:59:30,523 Egg potatoes! 1265 00:59:30,654 --> 00:59:31,785 Pile up! 1266 00:59:31,916 --> 00:59:33,004 Regulators? 1267 00:59:33,134 --> 00:59:34,353 Nah, man. 1268 00:59:34,483 --> 00:59:35,528 Egg potatoes. 1269 00:59:35,659 --> 00:59:37,312 Little eggs that grow on the ground, 1270 00:59:37,443 --> 00:59:39,358 hatch lizards and shit. 1271 00:59:39,488 --> 00:59:41,969 And they taste pretty damn good too. 1272 00:59:42,100 --> 00:59:45,016 Crackpots, fruitcakes and weirdo types. 1273 00:59:45,146 --> 00:59:47,758 But you can't eat any meat off the seat. 1274 00:59:47,888 --> 00:59:50,238 You gotta be dandy with eel, if you know what I mean. 1275 00:59:50,369 --> 00:59:51,588 Earn your feet! 1276 00:59:51,718 --> 00:59:55,548 [HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS] 1277 00:59:55,679 --> 01:00:00,118 [♪♪♪] 1278 01:00:00,248 --> 01:00:03,034 [INDISTINCT LYRICS] 1279 01:00:03,164 --> 01:00:12,043 [♪♪♪] 1280 01:00:54,085 --> 01:00:57,958 [♪♪♪] 1281 01:01:03,529 --> 01:01:04,661 Wow! 1282 01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:06,793 So, this is Fig Palace. 1283 01:01:06,924 --> 01:01:09,361 Nah, this is Fig Heaven, man. 1284 01:01:09,491 --> 01:01:11,319 Anyone wanna play Figgy In The Middle? 1285 01:01:11,450 --> 01:01:13,539 What about This Little Figgy Goes To Market? 1286 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:15,062 Cut the shit. 1287 01:01:15,193 --> 01:01:16,629 This is serious. 1288 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,718 Craig, how'd you get in? 1289 01:01:18,849 --> 01:01:21,242 It wasn't easy, but everyone was asleep, 1290 01:01:21,373 --> 01:01:23,157 so it was actually kind of easy. 1291 01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:26,291 I just walked in and took it from his secret files. 1292 01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:28,467 MICK: Oh, shit! 1293 01:01:28,597 --> 01:01:30,338 GRIFF: What's he doing? 1294 01:01:30,469 --> 01:01:32,863 CRAIG: Oh, no! He's gonna blow our cover! 1295 01:01:32,993 --> 01:01:35,735 Hey, guys, I'm a unicorn. 1296 01:01:35,866 --> 01:01:39,696 And not just any unicorn, a sexy unicorn. 1297 01:01:39,826 --> 01:01:41,828 You wanna touch my horn? 1298 01:01:41,959 --> 01:01:43,961 Don't you fucking get near my horn! 1299 01:01:45,484 --> 01:01:47,486 [THUD! SQUISH!] 1300 01:01:51,098 --> 01:01:52,273 What? 1301 01:01:52,404 --> 01:01:54,798 You've taken out two guards? 1302 01:01:54,928 --> 01:01:56,060 That means there's only four to go. 1303 01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:57,104 [ALARM BLARING IN DISTANCE] 1304 01:01:57,235 --> 01:01:58,889 But now they know we're here. 1305 01:01:59,019 --> 01:02:00,673 There's nothing for it. 1306 01:02:00,804 --> 01:02:02,283 We just have to destroy them! 1307 01:02:03,807 --> 01:02:06,548 [DOOR WHIRRING] 1308 01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:07,854 [JOE'S SONG PLAYS] ♪ ...peanut butter cup 1309 01:02:07,985 --> 01:02:09,769 ♪ And I'm ready to rock... 1310 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:11,510 [SOMEONE FARTS] 1311 01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:17,037 JACK: Oh, no! 1312 01:02:17,168 --> 01:02:18,647 Come get some! 1313 01:02:18,778 --> 01:02:20,084 Come at me, bro! 1314 01:02:20,214 --> 01:02:21,520 Come on! 1315 01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:23,304 We should be friends. 1316 01:02:23,435 --> 01:02:25,045 [FRENCH ACCENT] You can be friends. 1317 01:02:25,176 --> 01:02:26,743 With this! 1318 01:02:26,873 --> 01:02:28,527 Stand back, boys. 1319 01:02:28,657 --> 01:02:30,442 These arse clowns are mine. 1320 01:02:30,572 --> 01:02:33,837 [GRUNTING] 1321 01:02:33,967 --> 01:02:42,802 [♪♪♪] 1322 01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:57,382 [BOTH GRUNT] 1323 01:03:07,087 --> 01:03:08,132 [CHOKES] 1324 01:03:14,529 --> 01:03:16,618 [GRUNTING] 1325 01:03:20,187 --> 01:03:21,145 [WHINNIES] 1326 01:03:28,369 --> 01:03:30,284 [HOCKS PHLEGM] 1327 01:03:30,415 --> 01:03:32,286 [FARTS] 1328 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:34,506 Ha! What you got, pretty boy? 1329 01:03:34,636 --> 01:03:38,510 [♪♪♪] 1330 01:03:45,952 --> 01:03:47,475 Oohhh! 1331 01:03:47,606 --> 01:03:51,044 You think blue balls are your ally. 1332 01:03:51,175 --> 01:03:54,178 But you merely adopted blue balls. 1333 01:03:54,308 --> 01:03:55,962 I was born with them. 1334 01:03:56,093 --> 01:03:58,051 I molded them. 1335 01:03:58,182 --> 01:03:59,400 Look at them! 1336 01:03:59,531 --> 01:04:00,924 Look at them! 1337 01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:02,360 Ha! 1338 01:04:02,490 --> 01:04:04,449 Those aren't blue balls. 1339 01:04:04,579 --> 01:04:06,364 These are blue balls! 1340 01:04:07,713 --> 01:04:10,063 I'll get him, Ando! 1341 01:04:10,194 --> 01:04:11,195 No! 1342 01:04:11,325 --> 01:04:13,197 Stinga, you idiot! 1343 01:04:13,327 --> 01:04:16,548 [SAD MUSIC PLAYS] 1344 01:04:16,678 --> 01:04:20,552 [♪♪♪] 1345 01:04:27,211 --> 01:04:29,169 [SNIFFS] 1346 01:04:29,300 --> 01:04:31,432 WILKO: Oi! 1347 01:04:31,563 --> 01:04:33,957 [GRUNTING, GROANING] 1348 01:04:37,525 --> 01:04:41,616 Nobody fucks with Stinga Razorblades 1349 01:04:41,747 --> 01:04:42,835 on my watch. 1350 01:04:42,966 --> 01:04:46,708 [♪♪♪] 1351 01:04:46,839 --> 01:04:48,362 GUARD: Sacrebleu! 1352 01:04:49,494 --> 01:04:53,193 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS] 1353 01:04:53,324 --> 01:05:02,202 [♪♪♪] 1354 01:05:11,603 --> 01:05:12,734 Arrgh! 1355 01:05:12,865 --> 01:05:14,345 Leave them to me, Wilko. 1356 01:05:14,475 --> 01:05:16,913 [GRUNTING] 1357 01:05:21,352 --> 01:05:26,226 I said nobody fucks with Stinga Razorblades! 1358 01:05:26,357 --> 01:05:27,662 [SCREAMS] 1359 01:05:33,799 --> 01:05:37,150 [STIRRING MUSIC] 1360 01:05:37,281 --> 01:05:46,116 [♪♪♪] 1361 01:05:47,073 --> 01:05:48,901 Time to end this shit. 1362 01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:57,954 [♪♪♪] 1363 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:14,709 Game is up, Fig. 1364 01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,581 We know you used the pandemic 1365 01:06:16,711 --> 01:06:18,713 as a way to rid the world of surfing. 1366 01:06:18,844 --> 01:06:21,716 You and your corpo, reptile plan is done. 1367 01:06:21,847 --> 01:06:25,372 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1368 01:06:25,503 --> 01:06:27,461 You muppets! 1369 01:06:27,592 --> 01:06:29,159 Did you actually believe 1370 01:06:29,289 --> 01:06:31,813 that a surf movie could save surfing? 1371 01:06:31,944 --> 01:06:33,685 Surfing was already dead and buried 1372 01:06:33,815 --> 01:06:36,166 long before the virus came along. 1373 01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:38,646 Its soul had been sucked dry. 1374 01:06:38,777 --> 01:06:41,171 Its stories erased of all meaning. 1375 01:06:41,301 --> 01:06:42,781 I was a hero to surfing. 1376 01:06:42,911 --> 01:06:44,261 It was begging for mercy 1377 01:06:44,391 --> 01:06:47,046 and I walked up and with one swift jerk 1378 01:06:47,177 --> 01:06:50,006 snapped its brittle little neck, killing it instantly. 1379 01:06:50,136 --> 01:06:51,659 You guys should be thanking me. 1380 01:06:51,790 --> 01:06:53,835 You're off ya head, cunt. 1381 01:06:53,966 --> 01:06:56,490 Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, 1382 01:06:56,621 --> 01:06:58,144 it doesn't really matter. 1383 01:06:58,275 --> 01:06:59,841 The waves are all mine now. 1384 01:06:59,972 --> 01:07:03,497 It's just me, the porpoises and the sea cucumbers. 1385 01:07:03,628 --> 01:07:05,499 And while you clowns were on your way here 1386 01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:08,546 I just developed a new and more powerful vaccine. 1387 01:07:08,676 --> 01:07:10,156 And it's just been fast-tracked 1388 01:07:10,287 --> 01:07:12,985 to the last of the world's existing populations. 1389 01:07:13,116 --> 01:07:15,727 Nah, this is bullshit! 1390 01:07:15,857 --> 01:07:17,337 You failed, boys. 1391 01:07:17,468 --> 01:07:19,296 You've had a fucking shocker. 1392 01:07:19,426 --> 01:07:22,690 Unless you've got a time machine, surfing is lost! 1393 01:07:22,821 --> 01:07:25,911 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1394 01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:29,219 Dude, you are such a horrible person. 1395 01:07:29,349 --> 01:07:30,394 You guys reckon he's horrible? 1396 01:07:30,524 --> 01:07:32,265 ‘Cause I do. 1397 01:07:32,396 --> 01:07:34,659 How do you sleep at night? 1398 01:07:34,789 --> 01:07:36,269 No! This is bullshit! 1399 01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:37,618 Fuck! 1400 01:07:37,749 --> 01:07:39,055 Yeah, you suck, man. 1401 01:07:39,185 --> 01:07:40,621 You suck big time. 1402 01:07:40,752 --> 01:07:42,406 I'll still be your best friend ever 1403 01:07:42,536 --> 01:07:43,929 but I'm super bummed right now. 1404 01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:45,409 This is bullshit. 1405 01:07:45,539 --> 01:07:47,193 Well, you know what? 1406 01:07:47,324 --> 01:07:49,978 If surfing can't be saved, then, neither can you. 1407 01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:52,329 [SQUEALS] 1408 01:07:52,459 --> 01:07:54,679 [CHOKES] 1409 01:07:54,809 --> 01:07:56,507 Say your prayers, Fig. 1410 01:07:59,988 --> 01:08:01,686 HUGHIE: Mick! Wait! 1411 01:08:04,863 --> 01:08:06,299 ALL: Hughie! 1412 01:08:06,430 --> 01:08:07,909 Hello, my sons. 1413 01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:11,652 How come we can look at you and not melt? 1414 01:08:11,783 --> 01:08:13,524 I borrowed some of Turpel's zinc cream 1415 01:08:13,654 --> 01:08:16,222 and it's thick enough to trap the radiation. 1416 01:08:16,353 --> 01:08:18,311 -Mick, don't kill Fig. -[GASPS] 1417 01:08:18,442 --> 01:08:20,487 It's beneath a champion like you. 1418 01:08:20,618 --> 01:08:22,402 It's beneath all you boys. 1419 01:08:22,533 --> 01:08:25,666 The entire mission was about sharing the joy of life, 1420 01:08:25,797 --> 01:08:29,844 the greatest joy any of us have ever known surfing. 1421 01:08:29,975 --> 01:08:31,368 Fig is right. 1422 01:08:31,498 --> 01:08:34,197 Before the virus, surfing was lost to many, many people. 1423 01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:37,635 They could no longer tap into the magic they once felt. 1424 01:08:37,765 --> 01:08:40,464 As they lost touch with their early and innocent experiences 1425 01:08:40,594 --> 01:08:42,466 of being in the ocean with friends, 1426 01:08:42,596 --> 01:08:44,946 they turned to cynicism and hatred. 1427 01:08:45,077 --> 01:08:48,733 But the truth is, the essence of surfing survived. 1428 01:08:48,863 --> 01:08:51,257 In the first ride of every grommet. 1429 01:08:51,388 --> 01:08:53,694 In the trips with friends to hidden beaches, 1430 01:08:53,825 --> 01:08:56,001 and, of course, deep in the cone zone. 1431 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,916 For Fig, it was not enough. 1432 01:08:58,046 --> 01:08:59,874 The hate overtook everything. 1433 01:09:00,005 --> 01:09:02,660 But that doesn't mean we need to hate him back. 1434 01:09:02,790 --> 01:09:05,793 Nothing good ever comes from hate. 1435 01:09:05,924 --> 01:09:07,273 Whoa! 1436 01:09:07,404 --> 01:09:09,493 No wonder you're such a legend, man. 1437 01:09:09,623 --> 01:09:10,842 Oh, man. 1438 01:09:10,972 --> 01:09:12,757 See, that's why you're the Surf God. 1439 01:09:12,887 --> 01:09:15,760 Far out, I genuinely wanted him to die. 1440 01:09:15,890 --> 01:09:18,415 I'm ashamed of myself. 1441 01:09:18,545 --> 01:09:20,460 Guys, you've gotta listen to Hughie. 1442 01:09:20,591 --> 01:09:22,070 The Surf God is right. 1443 01:09:22,201 --> 01:09:23,594 Not about all that other surfing stuff- 1444 01:09:23,724 --> 01:09:25,944 he's way off his rocker- but you can't kill Figgsy. 1445 01:09:26,074 --> 01:09:28,686 But you heard him. We're too late. 1446 01:09:28,816 --> 01:09:30,427 He's injected a new vaccine 1447 01:09:30,557 --> 01:09:33,343 into the entire population of the world. 1448 01:09:33,473 --> 01:09:36,650 Even if we make the greatest surfing movie in the universe, 1449 01:09:36,781 --> 01:09:38,391 nobody will remember. 1450 01:09:38,522 --> 01:09:39,610 What?! 1451 01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:41,089 Nobody told me that. 1452 01:09:41,220 --> 01:09:42,656 You fuckwit. 1453 01:09:42,787 --> 01:09:44,615 Hughie, nooooooo! 1454 01:09:49,141 --> 01:09:50,925 Haha! That's more like it. 1455 01:09:51,056 --> 01:09:53,537 Ah, that feels heaps better. 1456 01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:55,452 What are we supposed to do now? 1457 01:09:55,582 --> 01:09:57,280 We have no time machine. 1458 01:09:57,410 --> 01:09:59,238 Surfing's done. 1459 01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:00,848 Well, that's not completely true. 1460 01:10:00,979 --> 01:10:01,936 Remember? 1461 01:10:02,067 --> 01:10:03,982 I gave Mick those magic legs 1462 01:10:04,112 --> 01:10:05,157 that can run backwards through time. 1463 01:10:05,288 --> 01:10:06,854 -What?! -Yeah. 1464 01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:08,204 Didn't Joey tell ya? 1465 01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,249 I gave you magic legs. 1466 01:10:10,380 --> 01:10:12,817 Oh, did I not mention that? 1467 01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:14,688 My bad. 1468 01:10:14,819 --> 01:10:18,126 [CANNED LAUGHTER] 1469 01:10:18,257 --> 01:10:20,999 Mick, you must take the surfers and run back. 1470 01:10:21,129 --> 01:10:22,479 And you must make 1471 01:10:22,609 --> 01:10:25,264 the greatest surf movie in the entire universe. 1472 01:10:25,395 --> 01:10:27,571 The stoke levels will be so high 1473 01:10:27,701 --> 01:10:29,399 that any anger or cynicism 1474 01:10:29,529 --> 01:10:31,662 will be overcome with a bulletproof immunity 1475 01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:35,231 that Fig's virus will be unable to infect. 1476 01:10:35,361 --> 01:10:37,668 You will have saved surfing and the planet. 1477 01:10:37,798 --> 01:10:39,365 But I tried running 1478 01:10:39,496 --> 01:10:41,715 and all I did was go heaps fast. 1479 01:10:41,846 --> 01:10:43,674 How does the time travel work? 1480 01:10:43,804 --> 01:10:46,633 I dunno, maybe run backwards or some shit. 1481 01:10:46,764 --> 01:10:47,591 Let's do it. 1482 01:10:47,721 --> 01:10:48,679 We're going back. 1483 01:10:48,809 --> 01:10:50,550 We must save surfing. 1484 01:10:50,681 --> 01:10:52,857 Alright, let's do it. 1485 01:10:52,987 --> 01:10:54,293 Righto, boys. 1486 01:10:54,424 --> 01:10:56,164 We're going back! 1487 01:10:56,295 --> 01:10:59,255 Back in time to save the future of surfing. 1488 01:10:59,385 --> 01:11:02,780 [INHALES DEEPLY] Ohmmmmm. 1489 01:11:07,306 --> 01:11:09,439 GRIFF: Best friends on a time-traveling adventure 1490 01:11:09,569 --> 01:11:11,354 to make the greatest surf movie in the universe 1491 01:11:11,484 --> 01:11:13,269 and save surfing? 1492 01:11:13,399 --> 01:11:14,661 This is the best day of my life! 1493 01:11:14,792 --> 01:11:16,446 JACK: Finally, I can play my song! 1494 01:11:16,576 --> 01:11:19,840 WILKO: Yes! Three cheers for Stinga Razorblades! 1495 01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:21,799 Hip-hip. 1496 01:11:21,929 --> 01:11:23,844 Hip-hip. 1497 01:11:23,975 --> 01:11:25,455 Ah, fuck it. 1498 01:11:30,547 --> 01:11:33,898 [ROCK SONG PLAYS] 1499 01:11:34,028 --> 01:11:37,945 [♪♪♪] 1500 01:11:41,514 --> 01:11:45,344 ♪ No man's ever gonna stop us now ♪ 1501 01:11:47,041 --> 01:11:50,001 ♪ Fig the fuck won't bring us down ♪ 1502 01:11:52,220 --> 01:11:54,919 ♪ Oh, yeah, we're saving the cosmic land ♪ 1503 01:11:55,049 --> 01:11:57,791 ♪ From the devil's hand and his evil plan ♪ 1504 01:11:57,922 --> 01:12:00,490 ♪ No man's ever gonna stop us ♪ 1505 01:12:00,620 --> 01:12:05,886 ♪ Nothing's ever gonna stop us now ♪ 1506 01:12:06,017 --> 01:12:11,718 ♪ The greatest surf movie in the universe ♪ 1507 01:12:11,849 --> 01:12:16,941 ♪ The greatest surf movie in the universe ♪ 1508 01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:19,987 ♪ Yeah, we're six best friends and we're taking it higher ♪ 1509 01:12:20,118 --> 01:12:22,729 ♪ Bringing that heat, can you feel the fire? ♪ 1510 01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:28,039 ♪ The greatest surf movie in the universe ♪ 1511 01:12:28,169 --> 01:12:37,048 [♪♪♪] 1512 01:12:41,661 --> 01:12:45,361 ♪ Me and my friends got something to say ♪ 1513 01:12:47,232 --> 01:12:50,583 ♪ You can't go erasing our memory ♪ 1514 01:12:52,933 --> 01:12:55,632 ♪ Gotta find us the perfect cone ♪ 1515 01:12:55,762 --> 01:12:58,939 ♪ To knock that man from his evil throne ♪ 1516 01:12:59,070 --> 01:13:01,377 ♪ Oh, yeah, the tables are turning ♪ 1517 01:13:01,507 --> 01:13:04,510 ♪ Six flames are burning ♪ 1518 01:13:06,730 --> 01:13:11,996 ♪ The greatest surf movie in the universe ♪ 1519 01:13:12,126 --> 01:13:17,436 ♪ The greatest surf movie in the universe ♪ 1520 01:13:17,567 --> 01:13:20,396 ♪ Yeah, we're six best friends and we're taking it higher ♪ 1521 01:13:20,526 --> 01:13:23,137 ♪ Bringing that heat, can you feel the fire? ♪ 1522 01:13:23,268 --> 01:13:27,925 ♪ Of the greatest surf movie in the universe! ♪ 1523 01:13:31,450 --> 01:13:32,582 Huh! 1524 01:13:36,803 --> 01:13:38,239 There you have it. 1525 01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:41,547 With Fig dead and Mick's magical legs up to the task 1526 01:13:41,678 --> 01:13:44,115 the boys are able to travel back through time 1527 01:13:44,245 --> 01:13:46,204 and save surfing. 1528 01:13:46,334 --> 01:13:47,901 Now, if you believe none of this happened, 1529 01:13:48,032 --> 01:13:49,337 then fair enough. 1530 01:13:49,468 --> 01:13:53,124 But if it didn't, then how do you explain this? 1531 01:13:58,477 --> 01:14:01,088 The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe. 1532 01:14:01,219 --> 01:14:02,350 Hmm? 1533 01:14:02,481 --> 01:14:05,136 See... This is real. 1534 01:14:05,266 --> 01:14:07,486 This doesn't exist on some cloud. 1535 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:10,097 This is a cassette, a VHS, 1536 01:14:10,228 --> 01:14:11,708 and they don't lie. 1537 01:14:13,361 --> 01:14:15,973 [SIGHS] So... 1538 01:14:16,103 --> 01:14:18,454 grab your mates, get off the couch, go surfing. 1539 01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:20,630 You know? 1540 01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:23,197 'Cause you don't know what you've got till it's gone. 1541 01:14:23,328 --> 01:14:24,547 And then it comes back again 1542 01:14:24,677 --> 01:14:27,332 and then you do realize what you've got, but 1543 01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:29,247 you get sick of it 'cause you're doing the same thing 1544 01:14:29,377 --> 01:14:31,989 day in, day out and not getting any better. 1545 01:14:32,119 --> 01:14:34,687 You think, holy shit, did I put my fucking fins in backwards? 1546 01:14:34,818 --> 01:14:37,647 Do I need a new leg rope? New tail pad? 1547 01:14:37,777 --> 01:14:39,257 Maybe I should try some different rails 1548 01:14:39,387 --> 01:14:41,868 or some more literage, some less literage. 1549 01:14:41,999 --> 01:14:44,001 Maybe I should lose a few pounds? Hey? 1550 01:14:44,131 --> 01:14:46,177 Fuck you. Yeah. 1551 01:14:46,307 --> 01:14:47,831 Anyway, you can go on all day. 1552 01:14:47,961 --> 01:14:51,443 But the point is we've run out of time. 1553 01:14:51,574 --> 01:14:53,880 And so the story's come to an end. 1554 01:14:55,578 --> 01:14:57,231 Or have we? 1555 01:14:57,362 --> 01:14:59,712 Oh, fuck. 1556 01:14:59,843 --> 01:15:02,106 I hope I didn't record over the end of it. 1557 01:15:02,236 --> 01:15:04,587 Ah, fuckin' knew it! 1558 01:15:04,717 --> 01:15:07,677 I should've put it on the fucking cloud. 1559 01:15:07,807 --> 01:15:08,852 It's what me mate said. 1560 01:15:08,982 --> 01:15:11,637 "Just put it on the fucking cloud." 1561 01:15:11,768 --> 01:15:13,900 Hostelza. 1562 01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:16,337 Yeah, fuck, he could surf. 1563 01:15:16,468 --> 01:15:18,426 Chazza, Tublet, 1564 01:15:18,557 --> 01:15:19,732 Chrisso and Lamb Dog. 1565 01:15:19,863 --> 01:15:22,169 [CHUCKLES] Oh, those guys. 1566 01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:25,216 They used to say I was the best tube rider of everyone, though. 1567 01:15:25,346 --> 01:15:26,826 Good on the lefts. 1568 01:15:26,957 --> 01:15:28,524 Old backhand, eh? 1569 01:15:28,654 --> 01:15:29,960 Mmm. 1570 01:15:30,090 --> 01:15:31,831 Fuck, I really need to go surfing. 1571 01:15:31,962 --> 01:15:33,137 [SIGHS] 1572 01:15:34,791 --> 01:15:37,141 I'm gonna go. 1573 01:15:37,271 --> 01:15:39,491 There's waves out there. 1574 01:15:39,622 --> 01:15:42,625 Grab your board, boys. 1575 01:15:42,755 --> 01:15:44,714 Where's that fuckin' backwards fin board? 1576 01:15:44,844 --> 01:15:47,194 [PROJECTOR RATTLES] 1577 01:15:47,325 --> 01:15:50,023 [SLOW CLAPPING] 1578 01:15:51,938 --> 01:15:53,418 Arrgh! 1579 01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:55,507 Are you fucking serious, Joe? 1580 01:15:55,638 --> 01:15:56,943 That is dead set 1581 01:15:57,074 --> 01:15:59,293 the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. 1582 01:15:59,424 --> 01:16:02,079 No-one is ever gonna remember surfing after this. 1583 01:16:02,209 --> 01:16:04,472 -Oh, I agree. -Shit. 1584 01:16:04,603 --> 01:16:06,039 I didn't want to do this 1585 01:16:06,170 --> 01:16:09,173 but there's only one man that can save us now, mate. 1586 01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:12,263 You know who it is, and only you know where to find him. 1587 01:16:12,393 --> 01:16:14,134 So, go on. 1588 01:16:16,833 --> 01:16:20,663 [WIND HOWLING] 1589 01:16:42,075 --> 01:16:43,599 Hey, you there! 1590 01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,165 It's me! 1591 01:16:45,296 --> 01:16:48,168 Joe Turpel from the Global Shred League! 1592 01:16:48,299 --> 01:16:51,389 I've been sent on a mission by Hughie 1593 01:16:51,519 --> 01:16:54,784 to find the Golden Goat and save surfing. 1594 01:16:54,914 --> 01:16:56,916 Do you know where he is? 1595 01:16:58,309 --> 01:17:01,051 Dude, what took you so long? 1596 01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:02,705 Let's do this. 1597 01:17:02,835 --> 01:17:04,750 [HIP HOP SONG PLAYS] 1598 01:17:04,881 --> 01:17:08,754 [INDISTINCT LYRICS] 1599 01:17:08,885 --> 01:17:17,720 [♪♪♪] 1600 01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:01,154 [FARTS] Speaking of silent and deadly, 1601 01:18:01,285 --> 01:18:03,287 somethin' smells like a mushie shit in here. 1602 01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:04,549 Is that you, Mase? 1603 01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:08,422 [FARTS] You smelt it, you dealt it. 1604 01:18:08,553 --> 01:18:11,382 Smells like a poo rolled in a rainbow paddlepop. 1605 01:18:11,512 --> 01:18:12,600 [FARTS] 1606 01:18:12,731 --> 01:18:14,994 [SNIFFS] It's definitely the unicorn. 1607 01:18:15,125 --> 01:18:17,127 [HIP HOP SONG CONTINUES] 1608 01:18:17,257 --> 01:18:21,087 [INDISTINCT LYRICS] 1609 01:18:21,218 --> 01:18:25,048 [♪♪♪] 1610 01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:32,533 Blah, blah, blah, something or other. 1611 01:18:32,664 --> 01:18:35,406 They all get fuckin' decimated. 1612 01:18:35,536 --> 01:18:36,973 Whaaaa! 1613 01:18:37,103 --> 01:18:39,018 This is where you cut to the tight shot of the TV. 1614 01:18:41,107 --> 01:18:42,369 And get over there. 1615 01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:44,067 Then you're gonna swap to this. 1616 01:18:44,197 --> 01:18:45,416 You wanna come round here, Nick? 1617 01:18:45,546 --> 01:18:47,157 Arrgh! 1618 01:18:47,287 --> 01:18:51,248 That looks all sick, the background and stuff, eh? 1619 01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:53,032 One shot locked off, all good. 1620 01:18:53,163 --> 01:19:01,998 [♪♪♪] 1621 01:19:29,590 --> 01:19:30,983 Yeah, Joey. 1622 01:19:31,114 --> 01:19:32,811 JOEY: Before I go, should we jam? 1623 01:19:32,942 --> 01:19:34,770 HUGHIE: Dude, let's do this. 1624 01:19:34,900 --> 01:19:36,728 JOEY: Two, three, four... 1625 01:19:36,859 --> 01:19:39,949 ♪ I've got a peanut butter cup and I'm ready to rock ♪ 1626 01:19:40,079 --> 01:19:42,647 ♪ I've got the rhythm of the morning light ♪ 1627 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:45,998 ♪ I've got the strawberry jam all over my hand ♪ 1628 01:19:46,129 --> 01:19:48,653 ♪ And I'm movin' with the morning tide ♪ 1629 01:19:48,784 --> 01:19:50,089 ♪ I've got a peanut... 1630 01:19:50,220 --> 01:19:53,310 Logically, just 10 years from now... 1631 01:19:55,268 --> 01:19:58,663 So, I'm in 2033. [LAUGHS] 1632 01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:00,621 VAUGHAN: None of that makes sense. 1633 01:20:00,752 --> 01:20:04,103 Please don't let logic get in the way of this film. 1634 01:20:04,234 --> 01:20:06,236 It will not work. 1635 01:20:06,366 --> 01:20:08,586 10 years from now, but I'm in 2033? 1636 01:20:08,716 --> 01:20:11,589 Yeah, exactly, mate. [LAUGHS] 1637 01:20:11,719 --> 01:20:13,330 Best we don't think about it. 1638 01:20:13,460 --> 01:20:14,766 Fuckin'... Arrgh! 1639 01:20:18,509 --> 01:20:19,553 Cut! 1640 01:20:19,684 --> 01:20:20,728 [LAUGHTER] 1641 01:20:20,859 --> 01:20:21,904 Yes! 1642 01:20:27,257 --> 01:20:28,606 I'm not drinking beer. 1643 01:20:28,736 --> 01:20:31,957 CAMERA MAN: No, no, no. I didn't record that at all. 1644 01:20:32,088 --> 01:20:34,830 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo hoo-hoo 1645 01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:37,615 ♪ Shoobie doobie doobie doo 1646 01:20:37,745 --> 01:20:40,618 ♪ I've got a peanut butter cup and I'm ready to rock ♪ 1647 01:20:40,748 --> 01:20:43,795 ♪ I've got the rhythm of the morning light ♪ 1648 01:20:43,926 --> 01:20:46,972 ♪ I've got the strawberry jam all over my hand ♪ 1649 01:20:47,103 --> 01:20:48,974 ♪ And I'm moving with the morning tide... ♪ 1650 01:20:49,105 --> 01:20:50,323 ♪ Let's go, Hughie, come on! 1651 01:20:50,454 --> 01:20:53,196 ♪ Whoo hoo, whoo hoo-hoo 1652 01:20:53,326 --> 01:20:56,329 ♪ Oobie doobie doo doo doo 1653 01:20:56,460 --> 01:20:59,376 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo hoo-hoo 1654 01:20:59,506 --> 01:21:02,466 ♪ Oobie doobie doo doo doo 1655 01:21:02,596 --> 01:21:05,425 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo hoo-hoo 1656 01:21:05,556 --> 01:21:07,427 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo yoo yoo 1657 01:21:07,558 --> 01:21:08,689 ♪ Let's go, Hughie, come on! 1658 01:21:08,820 --> 01:21:11,388 ♪ Yoo hoo, yoo ee you ee hoo 1659 01:21:11,518 --> 01:21:13,085 ♪ Yoo hoo...