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* *
Master.
Master. Master!
Master! Master!
Master, we have located the Han stone.
The final key has been located.
It's finally within our grasp.
Our grasp?
Do you step above your station, slave?
I meant your grasp. Yours!
We will get the key for you.
The key to my prison.
You will snatch that power for yourself
and turn me into a puppet.
No, Master. I would never do--
Shh.
Quiet your fearful, simple mind.
No, slave.
I will send my faithful spies
to enter their world and acquire
the Han stone for me.
Bwak!
Who else knows of the final key
and its location?
No one, Master, just as you ordered.
Good, good.
Then you are to be rewarded.
Rewarded with...
fire!
Aah! Aah!
* *
There's a party going on. Look at that chick.
-Whoo-whoo! -Focus.
-He said to meet him here. -Yeah.
Outta my path, peasant!
You hear the rat. Move it!
Hey ya, little friend. Hi.
Hey, I know your father.
Where did you get that hat?
Oh. Off that human. You like it?
You look ridiculous.
-Well, you look ridiculous. -You look ridiculous.
-No, you do. -We're undercover.
I'm undercover. You look like--
-Rey Cazadores! -The Bull!
Bienvenidos, my old friends.
How long has it been? Decades? Centuries?
Una millennia?
All those years hunting for that treasure.
And now, the prize is so close, you can almost...
taste it.
Pollo?
Loco? Ha ha ha ha!
Payment.
As agreed upon.
Torito.
Un momento.
She caused me a lot of trouble, amigos.
I lost a lotta men getting her.
And...
And I think you should be a little bit more...
grateful.
Grateful? You dare renege on the agreement?
You barter with your life, fool?
You threaten me in my own house?
-Hank! Hank! -Frank! Frank!
You think the master will be grateful with your betrayal?
She'll reach across worlds to cause you pain.
Or...
Do you wanna tell her yourself?
I was just joking! I'm a payaso!
I'm just kidding! Now, please take it.
Tengan cuidado. Careful at the border, eh?
That thing is a diabla for sure.
And she has her moods.
If she likes you, la vida es buena.
Everything's fine. But if she doesn't like you,
Pollo y Rata,
things will get real bad.
-We got this. -We got this.
She's a diablo for sure.
* *
Uh-oh. Oh...
-Oh, greetings, Master. -Oh!
Uh, don't worry. I've procured your treasure.
-So that's good. -Very procured.
I assure you that our arrival is imminent.
Very imminent.
-That's the path, fool! -I'm on it.
92.7 The Globe coming at you
from beautiful downtown Globe, Arizona
with me, Cactus Jack,
and my cohort in crazy, the Trout!
Morning, Cactus. Boy, oh boy, I am super excited
for the big homecoming football game.
-Go, Tigers! -Yeah. Right after
the Tigers' game is the social event of the year,
Globe Highschool's Under the Sea Dance.
-But where can I get a tux? -Well, good news!
The Copper Hen is running a special
on top-shelf suits at rock-bottom prices.
Just tell Miss Molly that Cactus Jack sent ya
for 15% off.
Now, when the needle drops, it'll be 7:30 a.m.,
so rise and shine Globers, and don't forget your sunscreen
'cause * It's hot outside *
* *
Morning, Dad.
-There ya go. -Ah.
WTLZ, Globe, Arizona.
Perfect again, my dear Donna.
I don't know how you drink that stinky sludge.
It's good for my tender vittles.
It keeps my old chi...
flowing.
You're a brave man, Chuck Lee.
Everybody likes happy.
Nobody likes pain.
But you cannot have a rainbow without a little rain.
Ancient Chinese saying?
No. Dolly Parton.
Is that the eggs or the tea?
Depends. What does it smell like?
Dead skunk in a sewer pipe.
That would be your grandfather's tea.
Patsy, I used to drink this when I was your age,
and look at me now!
You should at least try it.
Yeah. I don't need to try rat poison
to know I wouldn't like it.
-You're staying for breakfast? -Sorry, Mom.
As much as I prefer E. coli over algebra, I'm already late.
Well, I bet your grandfather could use your help
at the store after school.
I'm too busy, Mom. You know I have to ace my interview
if I want that scholarship and get out of this place.
Honey, Globe is not that bad.
-Come on. -You don't see the cruel irony
of being stuck in a town called Globe?
Still, it wouldn't kill you to help your grandfather.
Actually, the curio shop isn't all that busy.
I don't need your help.
See?
Besides, he has Maddy, so there's no need for me.
Patsy, sweetheart--
You've spoiled her. You're much too permissive!
Not like my son!
That was fun.
I miss you, Charlie.
We all do.
-What was that? -What was what?
Nothing, Pop. Actually, I better get going.
-Hopper. -Yes, sir?
Don't forget to walk Maddy to Chuck's today after school.
Seriously? It's her part-time job.
-Why do I gotta take her there? -'Cause she's your little sister
and you love her.
Got it, Pop. Love you.
CHEERLEADER: T-I-G
E-R-S!
We are...we are...
T-I-G-E-R-S!
-We are... -Do a couple more, Maddy.
All right, Maddy, I need more drive from the back foot,
all right? Let's do it again. Get some reps in.
Got it, Coach.
Kid's got a canon. Right. Goin' to State!
Go, Tigers!
Sorry, Coach.
Work on that aim.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hey, thanks for coming.
Yeah, right on, brother!
Just gimme the darn food.
-I'll put it on your bill. -Shut up!
Once again, I have to liberate us
from your pathetic incompetence.
Oh.
Ha.
Stay still. Stay still!
* *
Wonderful. Just wonderful.
Thank you, Miss Lorraine. Ha ha.
Uh, you know, it is legend that this mask belonged to
Emperor Zhang.
I'll take it. How much?
-It's not for sale. -Oh. Okay.
That's nice.
Yes. That's a lovely piece, isn't it?
-Mm. -It is legend
that the great kung fu master IP Man wore this.
Oh.
Now, if you... you were to wear this,
you would gain feather touch.
Ooh!
That's lovely.
-I'll take it. -It's not for sale.
All right.
Oh.
What's this?
Oh, this is nice.
Oh--
I'm so sorry!
Ha. Perhaps we better put it in a safer place.
Here's an item.
Legend has it that Marco Polo carried one of these
on his Silk Road journey.
It is made by the Sil Lum Monks.
I'll take it.
Wonderful.
Why don't I wrap it up in some special paper
and deliver it myself, Miss, uh...
Just Lorraine is fine. It's friendlier.
I'll be waiting.
Bye, Chuck.
Didn't you get that from a garage sale last week?
It's still Chinese.
Also, uh, I have to work a double shift tonight,
so I was hoping you could look after Patsy for me.
Oh, she's too busy with video games
to talk to dear old Grandpa.
What's wrong with the two of you?
You're either at each other's throats or not even talking.
She's just too hard-headed.
Oh, she's hard-headed.
She's trying to figure out who she is, Chuck.
-Who she wants to be. -She can find out
who she wants to be by working here in the store with me
just like I did with my father and Charles,
my...son did when he was still alive.
All right, I'll...look after the willful child.
Thank you.
Does that say leopard water?
Yes. Chinese leopard water.
You know, the old people use it to get rid of dandruff.
How do leopards make water?
We all...make water.
That's a bottle of cat pee.
Chinese leopard cat pee.
You know, old people do funny things.
Special delivery for Miss Lorraine.
It's friendlier.
Hello there.
Welcome to the Green Eyed Goddess
-where Lee... -And son...
CHUCK:...have been bringing you the mysteries of Asia
for generations.
Leave a message at the beep.
We'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Is that it, son? Are we done?
Yep. Nice job, Dad.
Great!
* *
Patsy.
Hey.
-You coming? -I wish. I've gotta study.
You know me.
Oh. Could I ask you a question?
What's up?
I was wondering if you could figure out
who did this to me.
Wow.
U stink. Idiot.
Eat dirt. Loser. Weak link?
-What? -Yeah.
So I just thought that you could use your smarts
to Sherlock it out or whatever.
Scarlett Farkus did this.
-What? -Mm-hmm.
But she's always so nice to me.
To your face.
Behind your back, she's vicious.
She sits in my math class and always dots her "I"s
with those little hearts. see?
Plus, you just beat her shot put record.
She's jealous.
-You're right. -Hey!
Hey, Patsy, Maddy.
You guys going to the dance?
I am going to straight up
-murdalize you, rodent! -Actually, it's not a rodent.
It's Squirrel, because my last name's Squanowksi.
But squirrels are rodents.
-I'm-- -Too late, rodent.
She said she's sorry, Farkus.
Please just accept her apology and leave her alone, okay?
And why would I do that, Patsy Cakes?
Because...
everyone knows you could beat up Squirrel
with one arm tied behind your back.
-Well, you got that right. -She's so little,
you could pound her into the ground with one punch.
Mm-hmm.
So please don't hit Squirrel.
Hit me instead.
What?
Just hit me.
What did you do now? Oh, it's all blinking!
You think I won't smack you? Is that what you think?
Oh! Quit your shenanigans!
It's not me. It's your junker.
-It's a classic. -It's a classic junker.
Oh, the metal beast must thirst!
-You think I won't mess you up? -What I think--
You think that I'm gonna let you give me orders?
What I think, Farkus, is that you're gonna tell everyone
you're letting me off with a warning,
or we both know you'll be going to military school.
What? H-how could you--
You've got, what, seven pink demerit slips
sticking out of your backpack?
That's an automatic expulsion. I'm guessing your parents
don't know you've been counterfeiting those signatures.
Then the only option left for you is military school
where your sister will beat you up every day.
So we both know you don't have time to waste with me. Deal?
Deal.
For now.
I'm gonna let her off with a warning.
This time.
Let's go.
You okay, Squirrel?
Yeah. Thanks.
-Are you okay, Patsy? -Hey, Maddy, come on.
Dad says I gotta walk you to your stupid job.
What would I do without my big brother?
Your knight in shining armor. Perfect timing.
Whatever, nerd. Come on, Mads, grab your bike. Let's go.
-Ow! -Hey!
Watch where you're going, you adolescent worm.
Worm? Where?
Relax, man. You ran into me.
Listen to me, meat sack, I pick turds outta my teeth
bigger than you.
-Relax, man. -Oh, oh, oh, retreat, retreat!
-The castle guard approaches! -Oh, my apologies. Our mistake.
-Beautiful boy. Wonderful boy. -Wonderful.
-Toodles! -Oof!
What a freak.
Did he say he eats turds?
Right?
-What is that? -Later, nerd.
Come on, Pats. Ice cream at Connie's.
My treat.
Bye, girls.
-Bye, Connie. -Bye, Connie.
Thanks.
Yeah. Least I can do after you going all Batman on Farkus.
Not that I could have handled her myself.
-No way. -Totally no way.
So...how'd you do that?
Weren't you scared?
Yeah. She's a scary person.
Then how?
I don't know.
Guess I'm just tired of being afraid.
Nothing's gonna change unless I change it, right?
Sounds like something your dad would say.
Yeah. It does.
Is that why you're doing all this crazy studying
and college stuff?
I just wanna make him proud.
Well, I'll come visit you at your fancy college.
You can crash my dorm anytime.
I don't care who he's taking to the dance.
You know you like him.
-Hey, girls. -I don't.
-Hi, Ms. Lee. -You are just in time.
I'm headed off to a night shift, but Grandpa will be babysitting.
Babysitting? I can take care of myself.
And I worry. So humor your poor mother.
Patsy, college mail.
Holy cats!
I can't. I'm too nervous.
Uh, me too.
I'll do it. Yep.
"Dear Patsy Lee,
"I am very sorry to inform you
"that we are unable to offer you admission
"to Stanford University.
"Please know that this decision
"in no way diminishes your application.
We were very impressed by your talents, and--"
Honey, there are plenty of other schools--
Mom.
It's whatever.
I feel like the worst mom ever,
-but I have got to get to work. -Don't worry, Ms. Lee.
I'll take care of her.
You're a lifesaver, Squirrel. Thank you.
I owe you a pizza party, okay?
* *
Hey, Pats.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Look. I should probably get back to studying.
No.
This is the perfect lighting, all dark and mysterious.
The best set-up for checking out my brand-new video game.
Straight-up bootlegged from the motherland.
"The Last Starfighter!"
Seriously? You saw that letter.
If I don't raise my test scores,
I'm stuck here forever.
Well, that's a little dramatic.
But, yes, you didn't get in.
This time.
That just means we have to work on those test scores.
We?
Yeah, we.
But right now, we have to protect the frontier
from Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada.
Does look like a pretty rocking good time.
There she is.
Okay. But only for half an hour, then it's back to the books.
Sure, sure, whatever.
Like the next 30 minutes is gonna change your life.
Okay.
Let me show you something called the death bloom, right?
-Right. -So go like this.
-Boom. -Did I just kill you?
Well, that's all of it. She was thirsty.
Satisfied?
-Proceed. -Proceed.
Oh.
-Idiot. -What?
-What have you done with it? -Done with what?
The box, birdbrain.
I didn't have the box. You had the box.
Oh...the child.
-What child? -The thieving child
who jostled me-- he must have taken it!
-The thieving child? -The thieving child.
With the checkered shirt, the blue jeans,
the floppy, sun-kissed hair.
You got a great memory.
That thieving child!
-Oh! -Ohh!
There's a little latch there. It's Italian. It's a classic.
Come on...death blossom. Death blossom.
-Uh-huh. Not so fast. -No, no, no, no.
No, I got it, I got it, I got this, I got this one.
Come on!
Oh, I had Zando-Zan in my crosshairs.
Sure.
I-I did.
-Hold on. -You know, it could be
-one of the fuses in the house. -What is that?
You know it's a pretty old house, right?
You know, one time I actually looked at one with my dad,
and it zapped me through my braces,
and then all my hair stood up
-and it was crazy. -Whoa!
This is cool.
I guess we open it.
It looks like pirate stuff.
In Globe?
Tss. Desert pirates.
This is super cool.
Whoa.
I think there's something inside.
But it won't open.
Check out those weird scribbles around the sides.
A-are those letters?
I don't think so.
This looks like...
a chop.
A what?
A chop. It's like a stamp people use
instead of writing their signatures.
They use them in China. My dad showed me.
So...how do they work?
Grab one of my mom's lipsticks from the bathroom.
Okay.
I got Witch's Wine, Raptor Red,
-and, uh, Redrum. -Redrum.
I think the stars are like a printing guide.
-Mm-hmm. -There. Watch this.
-Hmm? -Hmm.
Okay.
Now, we have to match the stars on each side
every time we press down.
-All right, this way. -Okay.
Make sure that all four sides match up.
It looks really familiar.
Whoa. What is that?
It's Chinese. Those are Chinese characters.
It's a message.
Secret message?
-In Chinese? -Mm-hmm.
Wow.
If only we knew someone who could read Chinese.
Please, I-I told you I don't have it.
Give us the box, or learn how to fly!
I swear, I don't have it!
Oh, well, what about the others?
Ha ha. The others. Yes, this one has a litter mate.
-Who? -His sister.
Oh, they share a nest.
Leave my sister alone.
Now, why would I do that, meat sack?
Yeah, meat sack.
Look, I'll help you get what you want.
Just leave her alone.
-Ooh! -We have an accord.
Yes, Maddy, it has to be like this
so it gives balance,
a stronger feng shui.
-Feng shui. -That's right.
Guys, guys, guys, wait, wait, oh, oh, shoot.
Come here. Uncle Chuck! Uncle Chuck!
-Hey, guys. -Uncle Chuck, we found something
-you need to see. -We found a message.
-A secret message. -But it's in Chinese.
Oh, well, if it's in Chinese, I'll keep it a secret
like my stinking tea.
Please, Grandpa? Come on.
Fine, I'll try your herbs.
Deal.
Where did you get this?
Off this box we found.
What does it say?
"Mirrors of shadow,
"their guiding lights make lupine lords
"their acolytes.
"Two pale ladies adrift at sea.
"Reflected beauty will be the key.
"Unlock the past
and set it free."
So sounds like a riddle.
Maybe that's how we open this box,
but what does it mean?
It's written in ancient Chinese,
the original Oracle Bone script,
used in the Shang Dynasty by the...
royal priests.
Cool!
Let me see that box again.
It looks so familiar.
I better check.
It's very important.
Ancient?
-Oracle script? -That's like 5,000 years old.
be careful.
Where is it?
I know I saw it here somewhere.
So...where'd you find it?
-It's cool, right? -On the grass outside school.
Right after that weird guy bumped into Hopper.
Of course!
After all these years!
Oh!
Green Eyed Goddess.
-How can I help you? -Maddy, is Patsy there?
Hopper?
Yeah. She's right beside me.
You'll never guess what we just found.
We have your brother as captive.
If you want him back alive, you'll return what you stole,
-meat sacks. -Meat sacks?
That sounds like the turd eater.
Meet us at the cemetery at sundown
by the Chinese mausoleum.
Bring the box and tell no one.
Come immediately or your brother will be
but an ugly memory.
Let's go!
Girls!
The legends are true!
It's this way.
Hurry!
Hurry up, bird.
Hey, you can't rush an art form.
Smells like dog crap.
It's over here!
That's far enough!
-We've got the box. -Just don't hurt my brother.
I don't want the boy. I want the box.
You promise you'll let him go if we give you this box?
Okay, congrats. You got your box.
Can we all stop knowing each other now?
Enjoy your world while it lasts, meat sack.
You're short.
Oh, Captain Obvious.
Hank!
The master's gonna be so happy with us.
Oh, mission accomplished.
-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
-Let's just get outta here. -You're welcome?
Should we call the cops or something?
Yeah. Those guys need some jail time.
Aaaaaah!
* *
-Hmm? -You know this guy?
Waaah!
Wah!
Uncle Chuck?
Heads up!
Ha ha ha!
Oh--ooh!
Ooh! I got the box.
Ooh, he's got the box.
Oh, they've got the box! Frank, I need some help!
Don't lose the box!
Aah!
Wha--
Aah!
Ohh...
cursed ugly whelps.
-They got the box. -It went through the portal!
Go, go!
-Retreat! -Go!
...hours are over.
Cemetery hours are over.
Go home.
Hopper?
Guys?
Where are y'all?
What was that?
I think my face hurts.
Did we just fall through solid rock?
-How can that happen? -The legends are true!
There's gotta be like a fault line or a hidden passage.
Or maybe a gas line ruptured
and we could be having hallucinations.
My head hurts. Does anyone else's head hurt?
Gas lines are pure methane.
Farts with the power to kill.
Like what magicians use when they make their great escape.
Why?
Like Pandora's Box, this was supposed to be legend!
I need some air.
-There's air everywhere. -But don't you see? It's real!
The ancient scrolls told how it was the savior
or destruction of all mankind.
What are you talking about?
Guys?
Hey, guys.
I could not let this fall into the wrong hands.
I had to fight those two goons!
-Hey, you guys! -What?
What could be so important that you have to interrupt?
So what are we gonna do now?
-Oh, my... -Yeah.
* *
What do I do? What do I do?
The book!
There's gotta be something here that can tell me what happened.
How do I fix this? How do I save them?
How do I save my brother?
But I can't read Chinese!
Wait.
Okay. I can do this.
I can do this.
996,
997,
998--
-Do you mind? -Sorry.
I'm just freaking out a little bit, okay?
Well, can you freak out and not do that
so I can figure out a way home? I need to think.
Think? This isn't algebra, Patsy.
It's not on your midterms.
-This is...magic. -Yes!
Ancient Chinese magic.
I recognize this box. Ha ha.
Legend tells it held a powerful weapon,
a gift from Erlang Shen,
nephew of the Jade Emperor himself.
-Good? -Is anyone else hungry?
Okay, so if we came through this thing,
then we can go back through it, right?
I mean, that makes sense. But how does it work?
You realize we are here for a reason.
Part of the flow of the chi of the universe.
Hey, are those raspberries?
I think those are raspberries!
Raspberries?
This isn't a farmer's market. Those could be poisonous
or eat your head off-- you don't know!
Oh!
It's like magic.
That's the problem. It's all magic.
Yes. The legends are true!
Be careful. We don't know what those are.
Don't be silly. They're just butterflies.
Not my butterflies.
It's like a-it's like a Disney movie.
I'm a princess!
I don't think that's a good idea.
Ha ha. It tickles.
Not a princess. Not a princess!
Not good. Not good at all.
Guys, help!
Stop! Guys, help!
I'm not a Disney princess, not a Disney princess,
not a Disney princes!
* *
Greetings, travelers.
You should be more cautious
around the quoon do.
It's their courting season,
and the males are ravenous.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am a trader of goods by profession.
My name is
But my friends call me Joe.
So you're a trader named Joe?
At your service.
So it's Trader Joe.
Indeed! Ha ha ha.
Seriously?
Night is falling.
The two sisters are starting their climb across the heavens.
Be my guests this evening.
-Well, we'd be honored. -Then it's decided.
Follow me.
It's Trader Joe.
Pigu, we have guests!
Ha ha. That's a lovely wagon you have, Trader Joe.
But, um, uh...
I don't think we'll all fit in there.
Ha ha. Of course not!
We'll stay in my tent.
Oh. Great.
I'm sure that'll be much bigger.
* *
There we go!
-I love camping. -Excuse me!
Dude, did he just--
Ha ha ah...
Ah, perfect!
Ah. A little further.
Uh...
Come, come.
Is this real?
Welcome, my friends,
to my humble abode.
You are my honored guests.
That's soft.
Please, my friends, please,
make yourself comfortable and relax.
Oh!
You are so generous, Trader.
As custom, a gift for the family patriarch.
Oh, I couldn't possibly.
I insist. It would be an insult not to accept.
Oh, oh, I wouldn't want to insult you.
Oh, it's beautiful.
You'll look sharp, Uncle Chuck, real sharp.
It's the least I can do
for you travelers from distant lands.
And I'd love to hear all about your adventure,
but first, you must be starving!
Yes.
Then you are in for a treat.
Whoa!
Crazy!
Yes, indeed.
This is my grandmother's secret recipe, baozi.
Baozi?
Yes, yes, baozi.
It's a steamed Chinese dough.
Yes! And so much more.
Prepare to be spoiled!
It smells so good.
I didn't know I could be this hungry.
Looks delicious.
Dig in!
You are too kind.
Ai yah! I forgot the sauce.
I'll just fill up on sauce.
Please, after you.
Mmm.
-I think I love your grandma. -Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm.
We can still cross the threshold,
capture the bandits,
and deliver the treasure to our master
before he uncovers your blunder.
Oh, no, we can't.
What? What?
-What are you going on about? -Hei gou fèn.
It's all gone.
-What? -Oh!
-What? -Oh! Whoa!
Where are we gonna find the dung of a black dog...
at this hour?
Ow.
Relax and enjoy, hmm?
Is there anything else you need?
Where are we?
Good. Let's answer that.
You are in the Kingdom Penglai
ruled by the wizard Lord Kuang.
There are four other kingdoms,
each their own magic worlds.
Your world is one of many worlds.
Do you think Lord Kuang can help get us home?
Lord Kuang's castle is easy to see.
You will find the fortress atop the mountain
beneath the twin moons.
That sounds like our guy.
Mm-hmm. So what brings you to our kingdom?
Something to do with this box we found.
Mm, ah, so nice!
I'll trade you, hmm?
Thanks, but we should probably hold onto this
-until we find a way home. -Yes, yes.
Of course.
-Mm-hmm. -Wait.
How did you make all of that happen?
Those are simple spells.
Here, you try.
But I don't know how to read or write Chinese.
Magic is simple.
Draw from your heart.
Okay.
Is this okay?
Well...
let's see how you fare.
Ooh. Oh, magic comes natural for you.
It's a kitty!
You are all my guests,
and tomorrow, we will find the castle.
Thank you.
Night, Squirrel.
Night, Patsy. Night, Uncle Chuck.
Night, Hopper.
Night, Grandpa.
Bwak! Bwak, bwak bwak.
Go on, git, you foul critters!
Coming in here looking for dog poop?
What kinda place you think I'm running here?
Daggum hippies!
W-wei?
Wei-wei shen--
Green Eyed Goddess. How can I help you?
-Maddy? -Mrs. Lee?
Sorry, honey.
The crowd is going nuts. You know these home games.
-Yeah. Go, Tigers. -Listen, it looks like
I'm gonna be a little late tonight.
I'm calling to make sure those two are doing okay.
-Are they there? -Yeah, they're all doing great.
Right, Uncle Chuck?
Great!
Okay, uh, listen, honey, I gotta run.
Duty calls. But give Patsy my love,
-and you two have fun, okay? -Lotsa fun.
All right, bye.
It's okay. I can do this.
Wei shen.
Shh.
Yes. Okay.
There it is. There it is.
Ah!
Oh, my...
oh--oh!
Aah! Aah!
Aah!
Mighty Lord Kuang, I have what you seek.
But it is protected, so please send your soldiers.
At dawn.
Make yourself scarce
if you want to collect your reward.
Mark the prize!
The master's gonna eat your soul
when he learns of your incompetence!
Gonna eat you first, fat rat.
-No, no, no, no, chicken! -Oh!
Oh, got stuck with a chicken!
Ratatouille.
-No, chicken. -Ratatouille.
Kung pao chicken!
Oh...
Oh!
Hei gou fèn?
Hmm? You guys did the hog?
Hei gou fèn?
Uh...what now?
Hei gou fèn?
Uh, Chinese, right?
-Mm! -Mm!
Green Eyed Goddess.
About a mile that way.
Uncle Chuck's got a funky collection.
He'll have what you're looking for.
Yes, yes, yes!
-Ahem. -Oh, no!
-Pay the pig. -Argh!
Ha ha ha. Kurt's lucky day.
All in the reflexes.
Mm, yeah, this is definitely the place.
Definitely the place. Green Eyed Goddess,
they call it.
Hello!
Heard you might have some dog poop here?
Of the ebony kind?
* *
Hello?
Come out.
Ha ha!
Oh, that is a vintage year!
Ooh!
And Bingo was his name-o.
Hmm?
Oh! Hei gou fèn?
Hey, how'd you know the dog's name?
What?
Yah--ah!
Hey! Haven't seen one of these games since I was a gelfling.
Whaddaya say, pal?
Hmm? Just one match.
We have no time for a children's game.
How about this? Put a little leopard on your lips?
-You rascal. -Ha ha ha.
Where did you find this golden mead?
Oh, this place is full of surprises.
Hey, for a rat, you're really hogging the cat pee.
Ooh!
Ah...
Expect no quarters given
-and a thorough trouncing. -Okay.
Welcome, Trader.
You have come to collect
your reward?
Yes, Lord Kuang,
for I have found the key to your happiness.
You mean the key to my prison.
Stuck here for the last thousand years
while my true destiny is conquering
the five kingdoms.
One tiny artifact
is all that stands between me
and ultimate power.
Mm, gold.
And then I'll be god of pain
and mercy.
You are generous beyond measure,
Lord Kuang.
It's your move. Don't be such a chicken.
Hey! I'm not gonna walk into a trap, you rat.
Um...okay.
-Boom. -Ha.
-I knew you were gonna do that. -What?
-Yah! -Oh! That's illegal!
-Oh... -We're playing Morlock rules.
I brought piz...za.
Mrs. Lee!
-Demon! -Oh!
Maddy, what's going on?
Um...
It's complicated?
Huh?
-Grandpa! -Hmm.
You guys think Trader Joe can magic us some breakfast?
Oh, ha. Good morning, child.
Yeah. I want some eggs over my hammy.
Wait--where is Trader Joe?
Eh-uh-ah--is everything all right?
That child, always running around.
I never noticed a door bell last night.
-Door bell? -It's cool, right?
Eh, uh, w-where is he?
Okay, that's odd.
What's that mean, Grandpa?
Oh.
That's the Chinese symbol for ghost.
-What? -But we're not ghosts.
Well, in Chinese, ghost, the character,
can mean many things. Ha.
-Like what? -Well,
a ghost, obviously, zombies, spirits
that are angry and jealous and...
Hopping vampires!
-Hopping what now? -Hopping vampires!
That symbol was meant for them to locate us.
They track breath, so just hold your breath.
Now, we've got--whoa! Let's get outta here.
Come on.
Come on, kids!
The hopping vampires are coming!
Ah!
-Are you okay, Grandpa? -Ha ha ha!
I'm fine! Ha ha ha!
Ohh...
Witness this moment, Trader.
Ooh, this is the hand of destiny,
when I become
a god.
What?
Find it fast, or you'll beg for a fate
as kind...as his.
My Lord,
I will find the box,
I promise.
Yes, you will, Trader.
You will, or...
I'll boil your bones
until your flesh
falls off.
Understand?
He said the fortress was only a day's travel away.
Yeah. But he has a donkey and a wagon.
-We just got our feet. -True.
The magic map thing made it look like it was this way.
Seriously?
Get back. What are you doing?
There's some good news.
-There's the castle. -Can't go across here,
so let's just back up.
Come on.
"Mirror of shadow, their guiding lights
make lupine lords their acolytes."
"And two pale ladies adrift at sea
"reflected beauty will be their key.
Unlock the past and set it free."
Does that mean anything to you?
No. But it does remind me
of the riddle of the Sphinx.
Do you know that one?
-Of course, yeah. -Yeah, that's a great riddle.
Yeah. Totally. Yeah, I know that one.
How does it go again?
What has four legs in the morning,
two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night?
Right, yeah. That one.
And the answer is...
-Man. -Yeah, 'cause babies
-crawl on all fours. -And adults walk on two legs.
And old people--
Hey. Wise men... have three legs.
One, two, three.
-So it's a metaphor. -Mm-hmm.
But we're missing something.
Here.
Nature calls.
Okay.
"Two pale ladies adrift at sea."
Pale ladies?
Yeah.
Like the two moons Joe was talking about?
Called 'em the two sisters.
Can't believe the guy ratted us out.
You're a genius!
It's the moon. Or...the moons.
In our world, there's only one moon,
so of course, it didn't make any sense, but here...
There's two.
Okay. But how do you reflect beauty?
Do you need a mirror?
Reflected, meaning...
matching on each side.
So if we push the moons to the corner...
It's working.
Even in the land...
of the eight immortals...
when a man's gotta go, he's gotta go.
Well, the kids can't see me.
Rain and thunder.
I thought I went this way,
but no, couldn't have been.
Ha ha. No, no.
Little confused here. Let's see.
Must be this way. Yeah.
Okay, so this is a crescent moon.
So it has to move over here on this side?
And then it has to match with the crescent moon
-on this side. -Okay, okay, yeah.
What was that?
Where did it come from?
-This way. -Hopper, wait!
Well, will you wait?
It could be dangerous!
Thank you, kind stranger.
* *
-Glad we could help. -What is your name, sir knight?
Knight?
Are these your serfs?
I don't surf. I boogie-boarded one time
in California for summer vacation.
We're not his serfs, and he's not a knight.
I'm Patsy. What's your name?
I'm Allura. Thank you all for your kindness.
No need to thank us. Just, uh, doing my job.
Your job? You go to high school.
At least let me share my supper with you all
to thank you for your charity and to bind that wound you have.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I could eat.
Follow me.
-Are you sure you're okay? -Guys, we can't just--
-I could carry you. -What about Grandpa?
Bush, get out of my face!
* *
Oh, so beautiful.
Oh! Oh. Ha ha ha.
Oh. The great Buddha.
Must be people around, and those kids!
They're always getting lost.
Hopper?
Oh!
I-I'm sorry!
I am always a little stiff after 100-year nap.
But no worry, young one.
Well met is well met.
Young one? Uh, me?
Ha.
I was wrinkled before the mountains were born
and the four winds whispered,
but I am just a hatchling before the eyes of the goddess.
Now, why don't you tell me about your journey
over a nice hot cup of tea?
Tea? Ha ha.
Tea invigorates the mind
and lets the chi flow.
Make yourself comfortable. Sit, sit.
Most gracious.
Most gracious indeed.
Welcome to my humble camp.
I beg your forgiveness.
I did not know I would be having anyone for dinner.
No, I-I love what you did with the place.
You are too kind, brave knight.
I mean...Hopper.
Oh, I-it's cool.
It is almost finished. I just need to add the meat.
Smells delicious. And I'm good with veggies
if you wanna start eating early.
No, it is much more delicious when fresh meat's fat
blends into the broth.
Trust me.
Well, we'll be right here when it's ready, Allura.
Patience, tender ones.
Let's mend your wound.
Oh.
Thank you.
Butter is the perfect salve.
It can cure any wound.
Oh.
Much better.
So mirrors of shadow means when moons are in shadow
-and guiding light... -'Cause moons are bright?
Yep. And lupine lords--make lupine lords their acolytes.
-Rabbits? -Close. That's lapin.
Lupine means wolf.
Acolyte means someone who worships.
-Wolves howl at the moon. -So they worship the moon.
You got it! Two pale ladies adrift at sea.
That's gotta be the two moons.
-In a sea of stars. -Pretty.
And that last part--reflected beauty will be the key.
So if I match the lunar phases with each corner,
feels like it's about to...
It's open.
Hopper, I got it open!
Gimme a sec.
Are you good with bread?
Yeah.
Big jerk.
A geode? What is this?
Oh, super cool.
I was hoping for some answers, not jewelry.
Still awesome that you figured it out.
I guess.
That soup might need some more stirring--
for a taste test, just to see if it needs
-any more salt, of course. -Of course.
So, Allura, when are you adding the meat?
Soon enough. Soon enough.
Mmm. Smells yummy.
I spy with my little eye something that starts with...
Squirrel?
And then I came into this meadow and sat on you.
I-I'm so sorry about that.
And now I'm having tea
with a talking turtle.
Tortoise.
Well, I was never very good with biology.
Ah...
Breath of the Buddha.
Whoa, hey, hey, come back!
Oh, that dumb, stupid...
stupid scarf!
Is it the scarf's fault
or the person who gave it to you?
You mean that sneaky little Trader Joe?
Or maybe the person who wove it.
Oh, I-I never met them.
Or you can just blame the wind.
What are you talking about?
I'm saying, my young friend,
that you carry a lot of potatoes.
Potatoes?
Imagine your anger is a potato.
If everything that makes you angry
becomes a new potato for you to carry,
what would you have, hmm?
I would have a lot of potatoes.
Yes. And if you carried those potatoes
everywhere you go,
It would be very heavy.
And stinky.
It is hard to share joy
with you are stinky with anger.
Then what should I do?
Just let go.
You make it sound so easy.
Ha ha ha ha.
You choose to carry the potatoes,
so you can choose to let them go.
Choose to let go of your anger.
Choose to drop your potatoes.
So did you find anything new about our little treasure?
-Uh-huh. -Mm.
Ooh, it's got writing stuff inside.
But I saw--
We're just about ready for the meat.
Why don't you wash up first?
Oh, we'll be right over.
-Do you trust me? -Of course I do.
You're my best friend. But why are we whispering?
I saw something--can see things through the stone.
There's spell scrolls hanging all over camp.
Oh, like that magic stuff Joe did.
-Not good magic like those buns. -Oh, those were delicious.
Bad magic. Really bad.
Allura isn't that.
Then what is she?
Nasty.
Evil nasty.
You're just jealous.
Come on, you know I'm not like that.
Please. Hopper's life depends on it.
So what do we do?
-See those flowers over there? -Yeah.
Tear them down when I give you the signal.
Okay.
-By the way. -Yeah?
Those flowers are really just a gross severed arm, FYI.
Ha, Allura, you got some nice flowers here.
My favorites are begonias.
-Why isn't it working? -I don't know.
My mouth is watering. Looks delicious.
Wait.
-It's gotta be the necklace. -The necklace?
-Gimme a distraction. -Distraction. Okay.
-Severed arm. -Oh. Ugh!
Uh...uh...
oh, hey, Allura!
Everyone says that Hopper smells like
a bacon-coated grease monkey.
Oh.
I never noticed it, but...
Relax, Patsy.
There's enough Hopper for everyone.
Right, Allura?
Smells tasty!
Oh, my god!
Where are you going, my tasty treats?
I insist you stay for dinner!
Ah-ah-ah! Oh-oh-oh!
Oh, yummy, yummy!
Oh--
Ta-da.
-That was crazy. -What is happening?
Oh, sweet children, spare my life, please.
I'll tell you anything! Oh, please.
How do we get to the castle?
Of course, dear girl, but first, put out the fire.
No. You tell us first, or I'll boil your butt down to porridge.
-And feed it to the rats. -No, not the rats! Very well.
It's the bridge. It's just ahead, but hidden.
-Now, please, let me go. -Is that what you need?
It better be.
Or I'll be back.
And you know there is nowhere
you can hide from me.
Uh, Pats...
I think she got it.
Right. Right.
Oh, thank you, sweet boy,
delicious boy.
-Gross. -Aah!
Time to put our money where her mouth is.
Okay. That's just creepy.
You know, 'cause she was gonna eat us.
Where's Chuck?
Over there. I see his scarf.
-How'd he cross? -He must have
figured it out.
I see it.
But I'm gonna have to guide you.
Do you trust me?
-Yes. -Always.
Okay.
And then...here.
I got you.
Okay.
* *
Everyone wants happy, and no one wants pain.
But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.
Your Dolly Parton sounds very wise.
Yes. Very...
very wise.
Now, get up and stretch your back.
My tea does wonders for your tender vittles.
Oh!
My back. Ooh!
Not as young as...ha ha.
Yes...
walk your true path.
Oh.
It feels so light,
and I feel light.
Oh. This is magical. It's amaz--
Thank you, Sifu.
Thank you.
The portal is primed and prepared.
Time to go home and dispose of this vile attire.
Hey, hey, hey, wait. Before we go back
under the watchful eyes of our illustrious master,
how 'bout we do a little leopard liquid one last time?
I like the way you're not thinking.
The forbidden fruit.
Cheers, to the last of this free realm.
Free range, baby.
Hey, you drank it all!
That was insane.
Where's Grandpa?
-Uncle Chuck? -Chuck!
Grandpa?
Did you hear that?
It's over here!
Um, Patsy--
Oh!
Must have gone back.
Whoa! No, no, no, no!
Cane, what are you doing?
Whoa, oh, oh! I'm gonna fall!
Oh...oh...
uh...
y-you're okay.
But no further, please.
Oh-oh-oh-ohh!
Cane, you did such a good job.
Hello, Chuck!
Kids!
Are you okay?
I've come for the box,
and this time, no tricks.
Just give him the box.
But Grandpa, we gotta get the box to the castle
so they can help us get home.
And we will, together and safe. Just trust your grandfather.
Now, give him the box.
Now let him go!
Drop the boy.
Wait, wait, wait--
I'm cool. Yeah, I'm cool.
I'm rich!
You bag of farts!
Are you okay, Hopper?
-Did they hurt you? -Yeah, I'm good.
Good thing you took out the stone.
Thank you, Squirrel.
I'll take that as well. Hee hee hee.
Squirrel! What are you doing?
Yes!
-Wow, Squirrel. Really? -I'm sorry.
Now to tie up these ugly loose ends!
Ha ha! Ya missed!
Oh, did I?
Look again!
Aah!
Oh, poor Patsy,
so close and yet so far!
-What do you mean? -Remember the wizard
-I told you about? -The benevolent one?
Yes!
She sent me to get the box and the Eye of Erlang.
But why?
To be rich! Ha ha ha ha!
And to give Lord Kuang the power
of the Keeper!
The Keeper?
Yes! The Keeper can open portals to all the realms.
Wait! That stone is how we get home?
Yes!
And you fools had it all along,
and when I give it to Lord Kuang,
she will use it to destroy your world.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, go, Trader, go, Trader.
Your victory dance is stupid!
You can't keep us down here.
You'll do that all by yourselves.
Your fear and anger will keep you locked in here.
You're caught in the pit
of despair!
Toodles!
Great job, Squirrel brain.
-I didn't do it on purpose. -No, you just open your mouth,
and trouble pours right on out of it.
Everybody at school thinks you're dumb.
Knock it off! Give me a boost. Maybe we can climb these roots.
-Who put you in charge? -Yeah you're not the boss of me.
What is your problem?
-You. -I'm the problem?
You got us in this whole thing in the first place.
No, no, you guys are the ones who picked up the box first,
and that's why we're in this situation.
Well, you led them to us. Sold us out!
No, no, no, no. It's both you guys' fault.
If you didn't get captured by the turd eaters--
I got captured because you guys wanted to play around.
And if you didn't solve the chop, we wouldn't be here.
Well, let's ask Hopper, 'cause he wouldn't know.
Yeah, you have the IQ of a chipmunk.
-Squirrel. Squirrel. -Chipmunk. Chipmunk.
-Grease monkey! -Squirrel!
-Chipmunk! -Nerd!
-Poodle head! -Grandpa!
What are you doing?
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.
Enough! I don't need your fortune cookie bullcrap.!
And I don't need ancient Chinese riddles.
I need you to actually help me, for once!
For once? I'm always helping you.
-But you're too-- -Spoiled?
My mom's too permissive?
I know what you think of me.
You never come to the store.
How do you expect me to keep the Lee family name alive?
You never do any real work.
I work my butt off!
Violin, ukelele, scholarship applications!
I fall asleep on my books!
I don't have a life. I don't even have any friends.
Yeah, maybe that's a you problem.
'Cause it's always all about Pats.
You talk to your grandfather with such disrespect.
Your father would never do that.
But I'm not him!
Choose to let go of your anger.
Choose to drop your potatoes.
Patsy, I'm sorry.
I love you.
You're right. You're not him.
But when I see you... I see my son.
You look at me like...
Like you wish you could trade my life for his.
Like I'm not good enough.
Why do you think I wanna get out of town so bad?
I can't live in Dad's shadow.
I can't live with your regret.
Patsy,
the regret is only in myself.
I must confess to you I pushed your father to visit
that dig site in Scotland.
I knew the rainy season was coming,
but I-I sent him anyway.
And it...cost him his life.
I lost a son...
And you...you lost your father.
You can't blame yourself, Grandpa.
A lot of people died in that mudslide.
Dad knew what he was doing.
He knew the risks.
And he loved playing Indiana Jones.
He did.
And I remember when you bought that hat for him.
I'm so sorry.
Can you ever forgive an old man?
It was never your fault.
I'm proud to be your granddaughter.
Thank you, Granddaughter.
Thank you.
Can we get a piece of that?
Come here, grease monkey.
* *
Oh!
We conquered it together as a family.
What do we do now?
Um...
Uh, well...
I-I think we need to track down Trader Joe,
hijack the stone, break into the castle,
sneak into the throne room,
find the portal key thing, figure out how that works,
while avoiding the crazy wizard, so we can get back home.
And if we can't do that,
we need to destroy that stupid stone
so that evil wizard can't escape prison,
invade our planet with weirdo creatures,
and ruin humanity!
Oh, is that all?
-'Cause that sounds crazy. -It does.
But she's right.
Now we go and save the world.
Not this time, bloodsucker.
How do you like me now, tough guy?
You gotta do everything I say.
He has to do everything you say?
Everything. As long as that spell is on his forehead.
And what about that bell you have?
Yeah, that's the one.
This acts like a remote control.
Now, how do we catch that traitorous traitor?
I got an idea.
Boop!
Aah!
There he is, Vampy!
What's up, Smurf turd?
How did you get out?
And what did you do to him?
That's none of your business. Oh, and his name is Vampy.
And we're buds now. So watch your step, Short Round.
You and your buds
are not getting that stone.
Wanna bet, Toad Boy?
-Hmm? -Mm?
Are you sure about that?
That's a little truth serum my grandfather whipped up.
So don't bother trying to lie to us.
Do you know the layout of the fortress?
Are they expecting you back soon?
Do they let you ride your little wagon all the way in?
Yes, yes, and yes.
Why are you such a tool?
Just mean and greedy.
I was just testing him.
Oh! I'm telling you, this is the most beautiful scent
-I've ever smelled! -Oh, from the pot.
-It's coming from the pot. -Oh, right here!
Oh-ho!
Ambrosia.
My-my-my whiskers are filled with fennel!
Oh, it's moldy and piquant.
It smells like rotting beetle dung
and-and-and ambergris.
Ooh, scrum-deliumptious.
-Well? -Ooh.
I'm not quite tasting the beetle dung.
It's in the back of the palate.
Oh, that explains everything. I don't have a palate.
Hello, tasties!
I assume you have succeeded,
or come back to grovel for your life.
Hmm?
Hey! Give her the box, dummy!
Oh!
Aah ha ha ha ha!
Oh...
And now...
all the realms will kneel
before my power.
Don't...open...that box.
Did it work?
-It worked. -Great.
You go that way, I'll go this way.
Patsy, what are we looking for?
Look for anything that can help us defeat Kuang
and get us home.
Patsy, where are you?
Over here!
Child's play!
I will take that key
and then...ha ha ha ha!
Patsy?
I'll wipe you insects
off the face of this world.
No!
Aah!
Hey, Chuck. Stickball.
Here!
-Are you okay, Grandpa? -Yeah.
I am done playing.
Oh, yeah?
Ha. That's funny.
'Cause I'm just...
I'm just getting started.
Cool.
I'm okay. Leave me.
You gotta stop Kuang.
-I can't! -Yes, you can.
You can do anything you choose.
Just choose with your heart.
You can do it. Trust yourself.
Oh, what are you trying to tell me?
I will not be denied
my destiny!
-Aah! -No, no, no, no, no.
Gah!
Yah! Fly, Pigu! Fly like the wind!
Ta-da.
La-la.
Now, Vampy!
Yah!
Wah!
Ah ha ha ha ha!
Vampy! Vampy, come on.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
Suffer my
wrath!
Stop.
I'll give you the stone.
Just please don't hurt my family.
Come on, we need to go.
Rah!
Finally. A wise choice.
From a foolish girl.
-I know the truth. -The truth?
What truth is that?
It wasn't your fault.
You were just an innocent little girl.
The deaths of your parents broke your heart.
Monks found you, lost and hungry.
Tried to take care of you and gave you a home.
Anger drove you to learn dark magic.
When the monks caught you, they shut you out.
Your loneliness turned into fear.
Your pain and suffering
turned into rage.
You became the very thing you always hated--
a monster.
And now you seek revenge on all the realms
looking for the one thing you couldn't give yourself.
And what is that...
querulous child?
Love.
Aah!
Boop.
-Squirrel? -Vampy?
Oh! You freed me.
Thank you.
The magic of love has saved me.
Freed me from pain and anger.
And my suffering.
How can I ever repay
your kindness?
We wanna go home.
Yes.
With my blessing.
Bye, Vampy.
Bye, Squirrel.
We did it! We did it!
You're back!
Ta-da!
We're one happy family again!
Hey.
I missed you, booger head.
Mmm. I'm home.
Hey, Dad, big night.
Yeah, I wish you were here.
But I'm with friends and family that I love.
And a boy like I like.
I think you would like him too.
Oh, that's a dapper young man.
Come on in.
Speak for yourself.
I got this for Patsy.
I hope so. It's not my color.
Oh, and, uh, thanks for the loaner.
Well, no. You keep it.
We may all need a little magic.
Thanks.
Ready?
So it's C and A...
Hi, Hopper. Don't you look nice?
Hey, Ms. Lee.
S-she got in.
Just like her dad. We're very proud of her.
* Look at that girl *
* She's got magic in her eyes *
-* She's shining like...* -Wow.
* The brightest stars tonight... *
-Is that for me? -Yeah.
So, I guess this makes it official.
Yeah.
You're brave.
* You see once and you know *
You're worth it.
Well, here we are. Everybody out.
* *
Wow. You look stunning!
Thanks.
Yoo-hoo! Chuck!
Miss Lorraine?
Yeah. She's my date.
How do I look?
You look sharp, Uncle Chuck.
-Real sharp. -Really?
Chuck!
Coming, coochie-woochie!
-Patsy cakes. -Farkus.
Lookin' good, brainiac.
So, I saw your, uh...
your college stuff.
Congrats.
Thanks.
It's a dream come true, right?
It's...
Great. You'll finally be getting out of here, I guess.
Yep. Leaving home.
Moving into a dorm thousands of miles away.
Yeah. It's...
cool.
Great stuff. I'm...
happy for you.
Yeah. Leaving this little town.
In about two years' time.
Wait. What?
I'm doing my course studies here.
It's cheaper, and I can spend time with family.
And other people I like.
So is this when we kiss?
Yes?
Yes.
I come seeking the Keepers of the five kingdoms.
Are you the one known as Patsy Lee?
Yes?
Oh, thank the elder gods.
I've journeyed across worlds to find you.
My people, they... they are in dire need.
We need the Keepers of the five kingdoms.
-How can we help you? -Thank you, Patsy Lee.
But first, I bring a message from he who loves you most.
I bring a message...
From your father.
* *
You know, it was very considerate
to season herself like this.
Ah. Four stars hospitality.
Tell you what, after eating witch, you get tired.
It's the tryptophan.
* *
* Was once upon a time, yeah *
* In a land of the enchanted *
* Where wishes could be granted *
* For the things we've never seen *
* By now you've heard the rumors *
* About the magic and the glory *
* But let me tell the story *
* From the book of must believe *
* Assigned a fate *
* By her own claims *
* Ooh ooh ooh *
* It's a never-ending tale *
* A fable told like spinning gold *
* Remember, legends are real *
* Everyone knows *
* They're superhuman heroes *
* Nothing comes close *
* That's how I feel *
* Legends are real *
* Legends are real, that's how it goes *
* We're superhuman heroes *
* That's how I feel *
* 'Cause they're real *
* So real *
* *
* Who knows if I don't believe them *
* If in your heart you believe in love *
* Then the hero in you can too shine through *
* And you do *
* Everyone knows *
* They're superhuman heroes *
* Nothing comes close, that's how I feel *
* Legends are real *
* Legends are real, that's how it goes *
* They're superhuman heroes *
* That's how I feel 'cause they're real *
* So real *
* *