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When I'’m up a mountain,
I'’m not thinking about anything else.

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Life becomes very singular,
and that is my break, and that'’s blissful,

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and I do feel really at peace
and happy in those moments.

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I do not matter on this earth.

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Like, that thing has been here,
in comparison, forever,

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and will be here
forever after me.

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I'’m basically
just a speck of dust

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flying round the universe
for a millisecond.

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So, be happy, spread love.

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Enjoy it.

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Are you feeling pretty fit
at the moment, Ed?

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What'’s been really
interesting is, like, actually, over the last year,

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I seem to have got way more
activation in my left leg.

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So I'’m just able to use it more.

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There'’s loads of different ways
to describe this,

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because I'’m
an incomplete quadriplegic.

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I'’m technically
spastic hemiplegic,

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which means half of my body
is different to the other half.

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My left side, I can'’t lift
my leg up properly.

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On the right side, I don'’t feel
pain or temperature.

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Hand doesn'’t work properly.

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It'’s just got enough
to pinch-grip,

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which is actually really useful,

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tying laces and all of
those sorts of things.

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All right,
high consequence, Ed, so...

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You do know what I mean by
"high consequence", don'’t you?

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I know exactly
what you mean. Potential death.

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Yeah,
it'’s climber speak for,

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"Don'’t trip over now
or you'’ll die."

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Can you see where we'’re going?

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Oh, my God.

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How the hell
am I gonna get on top of that?

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- Well, we'’ll figure it out.
- Wow, wow, wow.

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It'’s proper rock climbing,
you know.

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The main things
that affect my day-to-day life

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are bladder and bowel function.

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They need to be
managed regularly.

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When I need the toilet,
I'’ve got, like, 90 seconds to find one.

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But when I'’m out and about,
it means I have to wear, like, a bag, basically.

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Nobody knows, really,
that that'’s going on.

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They just kind of
see Ed limping and think, "Oh, that'’s really bad."

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But it'’s the underlying issues
that you don'’t feel like you can talk about.

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They'’re unseen.

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May they cherish the moments of their individual pasts...

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I don'’t sweat
from below the nipple line,

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which is quite a strange one.

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I nearly fainted
at my own wedding.

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I overheat really easily.

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I have to be careful.
I'’ve got the ability to cool myself down.

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Lois, on the other hand,
her investment strategy has to be questioned.

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She went out
with a professional sportsman,

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and now she'’s married
to Mr Wobble.

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Aw! Never any other way.

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But...

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But, but, but, but...
Mr Wobble loves you.

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-Yeah!
- More than you will ever know.

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-Aw!
-And I am so proud to call you my wife.

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In a way
it'’s sometimes easier for me to deal with because...

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I can'’t see it...

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you have to watch it...

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...so it probably
gets to you more.

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I don'’t think that'’s it...

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It'’s just been
drilled into me that

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knees are not
meant to go in...

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Tell me about it.

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I don'’t really have a choice.

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Yeah, I know,
why are you getting so aggy?

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Sorry.

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I'’m trying to talk
to you about it.

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My shoulders hurt every day...

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that'’s got nothing to do
with my spinal cord injury.

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The last thing I want to do

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is completely under prepare
for something

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and not be fit enough
and let other people down,

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like this is harder
than it should be...

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so I need to do them
to get fit enough...

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there'’s no way I'’m getting
up Mont Buet like this.

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♪ Ain'’t no mountain
high enough ♪

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♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪

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- We'’ve all gone mad.
-Yeah.

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♪ Ain'’t no river wide enough ♪

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♪ To keep me from getting
to the top of Buet ♪

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Sorry. I just remembered
we'’ve gotta walk back down.

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You know, for a long time,
obviously, I didn'’t think I'’d be able

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to be places
like this again, um...

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Just remember
to focus on the things

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in your life and about your life
that are positive,

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and things you'’ve already got,
not the stuff you haven'’t, um...

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Because it'’s too easy to just
concentrate on negative stuff

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and what other people are doing,
what other people have got,

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and you completely forget about
how good your own lives are.

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So, it'’s been an amazing,
positive experience for me,

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and I hope everyone else
can take something away from it as well.

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-A hundred percent.
-Love you, guys.

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He'’s a number eight who Lyn knows well.

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He coached him at London Welsh.
Ed Jackson.

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Played at Wasps,

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a product of the Bath Academy,

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so lots of pedigree.

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He'’s an excellent ball carrier.

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Gets over the gain line.

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And also has
good leadership qualities.

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00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,835
I was lucky enough to be

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a professional
rugby player for ten years,

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which was a dream come true

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for a kid brought up
in the West Country,

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where it'’s very rugby heavy.

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He'’s added a real
bit of quality here, I feel,

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and it'’ll be great
to see what he does with the ball tonight

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off the back of his Man of the
Match performance last week.

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Played for
the English Premiership and the Welsh Leagues.

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It was a dream come true.

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You'’re effectively doing PE
for a living with your mates.

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I would say I was probably
at the peak of my career.

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The referee has a close look. Ed Jackson is claiming it.

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I was playing
for the Dragons in Wales,

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and I'’d just signed
another two-year contract.

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And he'’s got the try. The Dragons are back in it.

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Absolutely loving it,
living in Cardiff.

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You think it'’s never gonna end.

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One stand-out performance for the Dragons tonight

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was new signing Ed Jackson.

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Well done, Ed. Top performance
in your home debut. Well done.

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Thank you very much.

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I was 27. It was the first
really hot day of the year.

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We went round
to our parents'’ friends'’ house to use their pool.

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And I took my T-shirt off,

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and I just remember
turning round and walking to the end of the pool,

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looking and smiling at one of
my friends at the other end,

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and I just jumped and dived in.

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What I thought was about
six to eight feet deep

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turned out to only be
about three feet deep.

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00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:56,009
There was 18 stone
of rugby player going through the top of my head.

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Then when I tried to stand up,
that'’s when I realised something wasn'’t right.

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00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:05,950
I couldn'’t move.

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00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:08,780
I was underwater
staring at the surface.

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00:10:10,471 --> 00:10:12,991
Next thing I know,
an arm grabbed me.

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Luckily, my dad was in the pool
and one of my friends.

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They pulled me to the surface.

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I had hit my head so hard
that my neck had given way at the bottom.

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The disc in between
the two vertebrae had exploded

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00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:32,183
and shards of the disc
had lodged into my spinal cord,

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so I was rendered
sort of completely paralysed from the shoulders down.

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00:10:42,849 --> 00:10:47,301
My dad is a retired doctor.
He knew I needed to be immobilised.

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I told everybody exactly what
I wanted them to do,

148
00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:54,239
and I switched off the bit

149
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that it was my son
lying in the pool

150
00:10:57,726 --> 00:10:59,900
and just switched on
the bit that said,

151
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"I'’m the only
medical professional here."

152
00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:06,286
The ambulance turned up.

153
00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:08,357
They floated the spinal board
underneath me,

154
00:11:08,495 --> 00:11:12,257
picked me up and carried me,
um, to the ambulance.

155
00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:17,815
Probably
the luckiest thing that Edward had in his accident

156
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was that he stayed in the pool.

157
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:25,788
So his neck never moved
after that initial trauma.

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And then the rest of the day'’s
a bit of a blur, to be honest.

159
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All of a sudden, there was
lots of doctors around me,

160
00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:45,359
and people taking notes
and talking quietly.

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00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,292
That'’s when
it started to sink in.

162
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:50,986
I remember Lois coming in.

163
00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:53,851
She wasn'’t actually there
with me at the time. She was in Cardiff.

164
00:11:56,577 --> 00:11:59,132
Got a phone call
from Ed'’s stepmum.

165
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,654
I'’d just finished playing Super
League netball over in Wales.

166
00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:08,244
She said, "He'’s fine. Just...

167
00:12:08,382 --> 00:12:11,178
You just need to get into the
car and get to the hospital."

168
00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:17,426
My initial reaction was,
"Oh, what an idiot.

169
00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:20,670
Like, I'’m sure
he'’s just grazed himself and he'’s gonna be fine."

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00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,403
As soon as I looked
into his eyes,

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00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:33,062
I just knew that it wasn'’t...
was not good.

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He looked so scared, and he was
kind of shaking, trembling,

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and I felt like
I was just in a movie.

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I just remember
sort of saying sorry.

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And I didn'’t really know
why I was saying sorry,

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but I think I knew deep down
why I was saying sorry.

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00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:50,804
Um... But, um...

178
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:57,949
Yeah, it was pretty...
it was pretty scary. Yeah.

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00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,544
Oh, sorry.

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00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,584
I don'’t think I'’ve sort
of run through it in my head

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00:13:12,722 --> 00:13:16,036
that detailed bef... as...

182
00:13:16,174 --> 00:13:17,727
You know, I'’ve told
the story before,

183
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,281
but I'’ve never really sort of

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emotionally connected
with it like that.

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I remember just feeling
really guilty at the time.

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I was just thinking like,
"How could I have done that?"

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It was so stupid.

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I was straight back in
an ambulance, going to Southmead Hospital in Bristol,

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which is a neurological centre,
cos they knew I needed an emergency operation.

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00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,483
I was like,
"I'’ll just have a quick nap."

191
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:53,833
They were like, "No, don'’t do
that. Stay awake, stay awake."

192
00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:55,938
What we didn'’t discover
till later

193
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:57,906
was that that journey
took a long time

194
00:13:58,044 --> 00:14:01,357
because his heart
kept stopping.

195
00:14:01,495 --> 00:14:06,155
They kept having to inject
adrenaline to keep it going.

196
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:10,642
Looking at his dad, I knew,
cos he'’s, like, the strongest person,

197
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:14,888
never gets emotional
about anything, and he was just so silent.

198
00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:19,686
I was very lucky that
a surgeon called Mr Neil Barua,

199
00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:22,102
one of the leading
neurosurgeons in the country,

200
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,070
is on call on a Saturday night.

201
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:27,452
The last thing I remember
from him was him saying,

202
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:30,248
"There is a chance you won'’t
wake up from this operation."

203
00:14:30,386 --> 00:14:34,701
We always had a rule
that you never contact us,

204
00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:36,496
or any of us, on holiday, ever.

205
00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,567
So if you know you'’re on
holiday, no news is good news.

206
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:43,572
And Lois rang,
and she said, "It'’s Ed."

207
00:14:46,092 --> 00:14:48,404
Woke up from the operation.

208
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:53,099
There was a lot
of bleeping machines. There was tubes coming out of me.

209
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:54,928
I was like,
"This is a nightmare.

210
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,275
You know, they'’ve fixed me.
I'’ll be fine."

211
00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:01,762
But then slowly
I tried to move my left foot.

212
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,903
Nothing happened.
Right foot. Nothing happened.

213
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:07,561
I was like, "OK, just...
I'’ll be able to move my arms." But nothing.

214
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:11,496
I was just a head on a pillow,
basically.

215
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,680
I went in to see him.

216
00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:24,820
Um...

217
00:15:29,411 --> 00:15:31,171
Hard, yeah.

218
00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:33,484
And I had to sort of man up
every time I walked in the door.

219
00:15:33,622 --> 00:15:36,142
You'’d walk out and think...

220
00:15:38,454 --> 00:15:41,216
When his friends came in, there
was one in particular, Souto.

221
00:15:41,354 --> 00:15:45,323
I was with Ed, and Souto
came in and just collapsed.

222
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:48,499
And, you know,
you could see Ed'’s face.

223
00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:51,674
After that,
I actually took a photograph,

224
00:15:51,812 --> 00:15:54,056
and I said, "Right, this is
what you'’re walking into."

225
00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:58,233
I said, "Look at
this photograph." I said, "Please do not collapse."

226
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:02,823
Cos most of them
are really big softies. At the end the day, they are.

227
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:07,138
Anyway, they'’d just collapse
in the waiting room and go, "OK."

228
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:10,555
I said, "When you go in there,
you walk in with a smile on your face

229
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:15,146
and treat him as if he'’s,
you know, just hurt something."

230
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:16,423
And that'’s... It worked.

231
00:16:18,529 --> 00:16:22,326
I flicked into "make
everyone else feel all right".

232
00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:26,951
And that became
a really good distraction for me during the day.

233
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:30,437
Putting that act on
was quite important for myself.

234
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,956
You embody it.

235
00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:37,134
But then at night,
it was horrific.

236
00:16:37,272 --> 00:16:40,654
I was in a pretty dark place,
mentally.

237
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,346
There was
so much anxiety around

238
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,313
was I ever gonna be able
to walk again?

239
00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:46,143
Was I ever gonna be able
to work again?

240
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:48,179
Would I have to sell my house
to pay for rehab?

241
00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:50,043
All of this stuff
is just going through your mind

242
00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:53,253
when you don'’t have those people
there to distract you.

243
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:01,054
Many times I thought, you know,
"I don'’t wanna be here any more"

244
00:17:01,192 --> 00:17:03,022
and "What does this mean
for everyone else?"

245
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,232
And especially Lois. Um...

246
00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,613
I didn'’t want her
to have to live with someone

247
00:17:08,751 --> 00:17:10,339
that couldn'’t
look after themselves,

248
00:17:10,477 --> 00:17:13,342
and it'’s not what she sort of
bought into and, um...

249
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,207
Fortunately
I couldn'’t move enough to... to... to end it all,

250
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:18,727
so I had to put up
with where I was.

251
00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:21,902
He was trying to tell me to
leave him, even at that point,

252
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:27,425
cos he was just like,
"I'’m so sorry. You don'’t deserve this life."

253
00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:30,221
And I think, like, we'’d spoken
so much about the future

254
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:34,398
in terms of, like,
where we would wanna go and what we'’d wanna do,

255
00:17:34,536 --> 00:17:38,816
and it was always, like...
really active things,

256
00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:42,820
so I think that was just,
like, maybe gonna be taken away from us.

257
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:48,653
As soon as I told him to shut up
and that I wasn'’t gonna leave him,

258
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:52,036
then that was kind of
that conversation done.

259
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,112
The times when
I really struggled were when I was on my own,

260
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:02,978
and it was like the drive
back from the hospital or to the hospital.

261
00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:06,844
And that'’s when
I'’d kind of break down,

262
00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:09,398
cos I didn'’t wanna do it
in front of Ed.

263
00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:18,304
The turning point for me
was being told

264
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,858
after nine days by the surgeon,

265
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:24,068
"You'’re category ASIA A1,
which is the highest level of spinal cord injury.

266
00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:26,622
The likelihood is
you'’re never gonna walk again."

267
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,248
I remember looking down the bed
and seeing Lois sat there.

268
00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:35,424
She had burst into tears.
And my mum sat there, and she was in tears.

269
00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:38,910
I realised then
that it wasn'’t about me.

270
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:43,674
If I didn'’t have Lois
and my mum there,

271
00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:48,057
or I didn'’t have people
like that to get better for,

272
00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:50,681
then I wouldn'’t have found
the motivation.

273
00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:52,821
I saw it in so many others.

274
00:18:54,271 --> 00:18:56,480
Some people had no visitors,

275
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,206
and of course they just woke up
every morning

276
00:18:58,344 --> 00:18:59,862
and just wanted to take
as many drugs as possible

277
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,899
and forget about it.

278
00:19:02,037 --> 00:19:04,384
It was the thing
that gave me the motivation

279
00:19:04,522 --> 00:19:08,043
to spend every waking minute
trying to move something.

280
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:14,014
Oh, my God, Ed,
it'’s moving so much.

281
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,534
And I just remember
being like, "My toe'’s moving!"

282
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,398
Then I was like,
"I just need to keep moving it,

283
00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:19,917
cos I don'’t want it
to stop moving."

284
00:19:20,055 --> 00:19:21,505
So I'’m there
just focusing really hard.

285
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:23,679
People are coming in.
I'’m like, "Look!"

286
00:19:23,817 --> 00:19:26,406
I'’m not doing that, because
I'’m laying flat on my back,

287
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:29,720
staring at the ceiling.
I'’m like, "Look at my toe."

288
00:19:29,858 --> 00:19:32,964
That showed that there was
a connection past my injury,

289
00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:35,657
so all... all bets were off.

290
00:19:35,795 --> 00:19:38,522
As soon as he got
that flicker in his toe,

291
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,489
he was like,
"I'’m gonna walk again."

292
00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:45,287
And... And I was like,
"Yeah. Yeah, you are."

293
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:51,431
Hold Souto'’s hand. Hold his hand.

294
00:19:53,261 --> 00:19:55,263
Even healthier than mine, bro.

295
00:19:55,401 --> 00:19:57,196
Mine are purple.

296
00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:59,025
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

297
00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:03,650
- Not much has changed.
- Fucking hell.

298
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,079
Once out of there,
we could start looking up, really,

299
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:24,292
and that'’s when the hard work
kind of really kicked in.

300
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,915
We were like, "Right, when can
we start? Like, we'’ll start..."

301
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:29,055
We were already
moving his legs and his arms.

302
00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:32,541
One, two, three, push.
Come on, boy. Push, push, push.

303
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,992
When we met his physio,
Pete, in the Bath hospital,

304
00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:37,960
and he actually took me aside
and said, "We'’ll get him walking again",

305
00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:40,342
and then I was like
"Right, let'’s do this."

306
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,518
Come on. And again, again.
Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull...

307
00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:47,625
With Ed, we had somebody
who was exceptional.

308
00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:51,388
Um, all patients
are exceptional in a way.

309
00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:53,562
Pulling back. Good.

310
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:57,186
But with Ed, we had somebody
with a sporting background,

311
00:20:57,325 --> 00:20:59,223
someone with a huge drive,

312
00:20:59,361 --> 00:21:02,985
and somebody who understood
the benefits of exercise.

313
00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:05,091
Good. Ten! Come on...

314
00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:08,370
Pete Bishop-Ponte,
who I think is quite remarkable,

315
00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:13,582
he'’s a great believer
in intense physiotherapy for spinal cord injuries

316
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,067
in the very early stages
of recovery.

317
00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:19,623
- All right, nice.
- Nice. Really good, Ed.

318
00:21:20,865 --> 00:21:22,211
Yeah, that'’s nice.

319
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,179
Here we had a young man

320
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:27,872
that just needed someone
to throw him a lifeline.

321
00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:31,876
Someone to say
something positive.

322
00:21:32,014 --> 00:21:36,881
Someone to give him words
based on fact

323
00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:41,748
that he could possibly
work his way and train his way out of this.

324
00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:43,854
One, two, three, up. Good.

325
00:21:43,992 --> 00:21:45,994
He was exceptionally motivated.

326
00:21:46,132 --> 00:21:49,480
So we have a big gym
in Salisbury

327
00:21:49,618 --> 00:21:54,623
and he and Lois were in there
all hours of the day.

328
00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:58,558
She was amazing.
She was essentially his physio.

329
00:22:00,388 --> 00:22:04,150
The emotional bit
is huge, actually.

330
00:22:04,288 --> 00:22:06,117
Having a great group of friends

331
00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:08,982
who'’ll still come in
and take the piss out of you.

332
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,676
And a loving partner
or wife or girlfriend.

333
00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:15,437
And just people there
to support you

334
00:22:15,575 --> 00:22:19,096
and keep you motivated
and keep you going.

335
00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:21,650
You can'’t even
quantify it, really.

336
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,069
Four months later, in August,

337
00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,555
Ed and his fiancée, Lois,

338
00:22:29,693 --> 00:22:31,557
came to see me in the clinic.

339
00:22:32,454 --> 00:22:34,145
And he walked in.

340
00:22:41,118 --> 00:22:43,741
He wanted a photo, cos he was
doing a blog at the time,

341
00:22:43,879 --> 00:22:47,745
and it was quite embarrassing,
cos I'’m only about five foot nine,

342
00:22:47,883 --> 00:22:52,232
and a lot of jokes were made
about why he was stood next to a schoolboy.

343
00:23:13,322 --> 00:23:15,255
That was like the biggest
turning point for him,

344
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,535
when he created the blog
and put it out on his Instagram.

345
00:23:18,673 --> 00:23:20,468
He got
so many messages back saying

346
00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:25,093
how much him sharing his story
had helped them,

347
00:23:25,231 --> 00:23:29,235
and, actually, by him
helping those people, he got so much reward back.

348
00:23:47,736 --> 00:23:50,290
That was the most
powerful feeling, cos that was me realising

349
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,534
that actually some good
can come from this situation,

350
00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:54,536
it doesn'’t just
have to be negative.

351
00:24:12,381 --> 00:24:15,661
After nine months,
I'’d moved home.

352
00:24:15,799 --> 00:24:17,283
And it was difficult.

353
00:24:17,421 --> 00:24:20,182
It was difficult
to stay on top of the rehab.

354
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,909
I was living with my parents.

355
00:24:23,047 --> 00:24:25,878
In hospital you'’re in a bubble,
but I was at home,

356
00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:29,537
and it was very obvious
the things that I couldn'’t do any more

357
00:24:29,675 --> 00:24:32,056
that I could do before.

358
00:24:32,194 --> 00:24:35,543
To start with,
seeing him going up the stairs.

359
00:24:35,681 --> 00:24:38,891
Heart-breaking. Mmm.

360
00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:41,514
And especially
if he'’s just walking around

361
00:24:41,652 --> 00:24:43,447
in his boxers or whatever.

362
00:24:43,585 --> 00:24:45,138
You know, he'’s always covered

363
00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:47,451
in bruises and bumps
and scrapes.

364
00:24:47,589 --> 00:24:50,385
You know, black and blue
from falling over. Mmm.

365
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,145
Which you don'’t see.

366
00:24:54,113 --> 00:24:56,218
Our lives had been
completely turned upside down.

367
00:24:56,356 --> 00:24:58,289
It just wasn'’t the same at all.

368
00:24:58,427 --> 00:25:02,328
We were, like, learning to get
the wheelchair around the house.

369
00:25:02,466 --> 00:25:07,333
He was learning about bladder,
bowel control, like, sexual function.

370
00:25:07,471 --> 00:25:11,786
There were so many
new situations brewing

371
00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:14,927
that we had no idea, really,
how to handle.

372
00:25:16,653 --> 00:25:19,518
I felt quite isolated and alone
in my own head.

373
00:25:20,933 --> 00:25:23,176
I looked into his eyes
and I loved him so much,

374
00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:26,145
but something wasn'’t right.

375
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:32,703
He'’d changed so much.

376
00:25:32,841 --> 00:25:37,570
His whole body, his movement
and everything had changed.

377
00:25:37,708 --> 00:25:40,953
- Whoo!
-One of the biggest things, his smell had changed.

378
00:25:41,091 --> 00:25:43,956
I actually sometimes felt like
I was cheating on Ed,

379
00:25:44,094 --> 00:25:45,923
pulling away
when I was kissing him,

380
00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:49,617
cos he smelt differently
to the Ed that I knew before.

381
00:25:51,722 --> 00:25:54,069
Of course,
he'’s been through everything,

382
00:25:54,207 --> 00:25:58,177
and that'’s why
I kept it so quiet, those thoughts, for so long.

383
00:26:00,835 --> 00:26:02,181
I went and got help.

384
00:26:02,319 --> 00:26:03,700
Don'’t speak too soon.

385
00:26:03,838 --> 00:26:06,461
And did some work
with sexual therapy

386
00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:08,049
and had that conversation
with Ed,

387
00:26:08,187 --> 00:26:10,258
which was probably
the most brutal conversation

388
00:26:10,396 --> 00:26:11,949
I'’ve ever had in my life.

389
00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:15,366
It played on a massive
insecurity of mine at the time.

390
00:26:15,504 --> 00:26:17,506
I had changed
so much physically,

391
00:26:17,645 --> 00:26:19,094
and, whether I like it or not,

392
00:26:19,232 --> 00:26:21,234
I think a lot of my identity
was wrapped up

393
00:26:21,372 --> 00:26:24,237
in my physicality
and those types of things,

394
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,619
and being a man and, you know,
being a rugby player

395
00:26:26,757 --> 00:26:28,483
and all of those things
that go along with that.

396
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:32,418
It was kind of the lens through
which we discussed, you know,

397
00:26:32,556 --> 00:26:34,316
Lois struggling as well,
basically.

398
00:26:34,454 --> 00:26:38,424
- Yeah.
- And it opened up that conversation.

399
00:26:38,562 --> 00:26:40,944
And it was on more fronts
than just, sort of,

400
00:26:41,082 --> 00:26:42,704
what was going on
in the bedroom.

401
00:26:42,842 --> 00:26:44,464
I think when you go through
something like that

402
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,397
with someone,

403
00:26:46,535 --> 00:26:48,952
it'’s either gonna break you
or, like, make you.

404
00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:51,333
And you see that go
one of two ways often.

405
00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:54,095
And you can understand why
it would break a relationship.

406
00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:57,270
It nearly did for us,
not because of anything...

407
00:26:57,408 --> 00:27:00,204
it didn'’t highlight any issues
that we had in the first place,

408
00:27:00,342 --> 00:27:02,551
but it'’s just you don'’t want...

409
00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:07,315
you'’re living, you go off
in different paths effectively, on paper,

410
00:27:07,453 --> 00:27:09,006
but, actually,
if you stay together

411
00:27:09,144 --> 00:27:10,732
and you ride through
something emotional like that,

412
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:12,700
like so many couples have,

413
00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:15,012
then it makes you so strong
to the point where

414
00:27:15,150 --> 00:27:19,327
you can'’t see yourself
without them,

415
00:27:19,465 --> 00:27:22,330
because your new life
has only existed with them.

416
00:27:22,468 --> 00:27:25,920
It'’s like being married
from birth, in a way.

417
00:27:26,058 --> 00:27:28,094
Which is a bit strange,
I suppose. - That was a bit weird.

418
00:27:28,232 --> 00:27:29,855
That was
a bit of a weird thought. - Yeah.

419
00:27:29,993 --> 00:27:33,168
We realised that communication
was gonna be key

420
00:27:33,306 --> 00:27:37,172
in order just to be, um, yeah,
open and honest with each other.

421
00:27:37,310 --> 00:27:40,417
You can'’t move forward with
the problems that you'’re facing

422
00:27:40,555 --> 00:27:45,491
unless you actually
work on them together and are honest together.

423
00:27:45,629 --> 00:27:47,838
- Would you agree?
- Yeah, massively.

424
00:27:47,976 --> 00:27:52,187
That'’s why
I'’ve gone into specialising in relationship coaching,

425
00:27:52,325 --> 00:27:55,674
because I want to share
that journey with other people.

426
00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:02,577
It was another turning point along the road.

427
00:28:02,715 --> 00:28:05,200
I was so in the midst
of trying to recover

428
00:28:05,338 --> 00:28:10,102
and trying to rediscover
some purpose in my life and drive forward.

429
00:28:14,554 --> 00:28:17,040
I did go down a bit
at that stage, I think.

430
00:28:21,976 --> 00:28:24,979
I knew I needed
to put something in place,

431
00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:28,776
a challenge for myself,
to motivate me.

432
00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:34,402
I wanted to send a message
to everyone else who was in hospital

433
00:28:34,540 --> 00:28:38,130
that had also been told
they can'’t do something

434
00:28:38,268 --> 00:28:40,408
that maybe that doesn'’t
have to be the case.

435
00:28:40,546 --> 00:28:45,275
I said to my physios,
"At the 12-month mark, I wanna climb Snowdon."

436
00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:49,451
And they were like, "Excuse me?
What? Um, 12 months?"

437
00:28:49,589 --> 00:28:51,971
"What about 24 months?
Maybe we'’ll give it a go."

438
00:28:52,109 --> 00:28:56,217
But I knew that if...
even if I didn'’t get up there,

439
00:28:56,355 --> 00:28:57,943
even if I got
100 metres up there,

440
00:28:58,081 --> 00:28:59,461
people would see me on my feet,

441
00:29:00,808 --> 00:29:02,188
and it would send the message

442
00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,603
that maybe some of them
needed to hear

443
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,536
to not give up hope.

444
00:29:35,739 --> 00:29:38,742
I'’d opened it up
on social media to anyone who wanted to come and join in,

445
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,537
thinking a few people
might turn up,

446
00:29:40,675 --> 00:29:42,884
and there were 70 people
there on the start line

447
00:29:43,022 --> 00:29:43,989
who I didn'’t know.

448
00:29:44,127 --> 00:29:46,405
I mean, the first reaction was,

449
00:29:46,543 --> 00:29:48,614
"Oh, shit, I'’m gonna have to
get to the top now."

450
00:30:01,869 --> 00:30:05,493
Snowdon was incredible.

451
00:30:05,631 --> 00:30:08,910
I was definitely there
to support him the whole way.

452
00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:11,188
At times I actually felt
quite disconnected from him,

453
00:30:11,326 --> 00:30:13,915
cos there were so many people
around him, and physios,

454
00:30:14,053 --> 00:30:16,331
and everybody was worried
about him falling over.

455
00:30:16,469 --> 00:30:18,609
So I think at one point
he had to be like,

456
00:30:18,747 --> 00:30:20,232
"We'’ll walk
the last bit together."

457
00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:22,372
Go on, Ed!

458
00:30:26,790 --> 00:30:28,896
- Well done.
- Yes!

459
00:30:37,456 --> 00:30:39,113
It'’s one of the hardest
things I'’ve ever done,

460
00:30:39,251 --> 00:30:41,563
but I got to the top
and just had this feeling

461
00:30:41,701 --> 00:30:47,086
that I'’d achieved something
for the first time since my accident.

462
00:30:47,224 --> 00:30:48,639
There was
all these other people

463
00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:50,331
that I was taking loads from,

464
00:30:50,469 --> 00:30:53,265
but also my own journey
was benefitting them.

465
00:30:54,542 --> 00:30:57,096
I remember staring out
and not knowing

466
00:30:57,234 --> 00:30:59,271
how my life would pan out
but knew it wasn'’t gonna be

467
00:30:59,409 --> 00:31:01,860
in a conventional way,
obviously, any more.

468
00:31:06,830 --> 00:31:10,765
Some of the things
I'’m starting to do is just rewriting the rulebook

469
00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,354
in my own head, and hopefully
in other people'’s heads,

470
00:31:13,492 --> 00:31:15,183
of what is possible
in life, you know,

471
00:31:15,321 --> 00:31:16,805
and what you'’re capable of.

472
00:31:16,944 --> 00:31:19,084
You don'’t know until you try.

473
00:31:47,595 --> 00:31:50,287
Finally here in the Himalayas.

474
00:31:50,425 --> 00:31:52,013
Always wanted to come here.

475
00:31:52,151 --> 00:31:56,328
And, as you can see,
it'’s amazing.

476
00:31:56,466 --> 00:32:00,021
That'’s Annapurna behind us.
8,000 metres.

477
00:32:00,159 --> 00:32:02,437
Um, one of the highest mountains
in the world.

478
00:32:02,575 --> 00:32:07,304
And it is true what they say,
when you get near them...

479
00:32:09,099 --> 00:32:11,239
Just can'’t really describe...

480
00:32:11,377 --> 00:32:12,965
can'’t really describe it,
really.

481
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,592
I remember being sat
in a place called Ghandruk,

482
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:23,493
and I was staring up
at this 8,000-metre mountain.

483
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:30,465
And I'’d never felt so small
in my life.

484
00:32:32,088 --> 00:32:33,744
My brain almost
couldn'’t comprehend

485
00:32:33,882 --> 00:32:36,506
the size of the thing
that was in front of me.

486
00:32:39,716 --> 00:32:43,099
I just felt completely,
like, insignificant.

487
00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:47,655
It was an incredibly
sort of liberating feeling.

488
00:32:52,556 --> 00:32:57,147
You know when students are
like, "I went on my gap year and found myself"?

489
00:32:57,285 --> 00:32:59,494
Like, that actually happened
to me.

490
00:33:01,358 --> 00:33:03,774
I felt ridiculous
coming back and actually telling anyone about it.

491
00:33:03,912 --> 00:33:06,432
I think me and Lois
almost kept it to ourselves.

492
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:08,400
But that was the moment
we said,

493
00:33:08,538 --> 00:33:10,367
"We wanna try and help people
for the rest of our lives.

494
00:33:10,505 --> 00:33:13,094
We wanna try
and make a difference."

495
00:33:13,232 --> 00:33:16,960
I remember going,
"Right, let'’s drop everything and try and start a charity."

496
00:33:23,104 --> 00:33:26,763
We set up a foundation to take
people with psychological or physical trauma

497
00:33:26,901 --> 00:33:29,283
away on these adventures.

498
00:33:30,870 --> 00:33:33,908
The real reason that I'’ve made
the recovery I have

499
00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:36,186
is because
of my support network,

500
00:33:36,324 --> 00:33:40,432
and I just wanted to pay
that forward to other people.

501
00:33:40,570 --> 00:33:43,159
So people are sharing their
experiences and their traumas,

502
00:33:43,297 --> 00:33:46,369
and realising that it'’s not
just them going through it.

503
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:37,558
I have seen Ed go
from a frustrated rugby player

504
00:34:37,696 --> 00:34:40,147
with a spinal injury

505
00:34:40,285 --> 00:34:44,323
to a man with...
much more spiritual

506
00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:48,672
and much more awareness
of people around him

507
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:52,262
and the environment around him.

508
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,057
Do you feel like
you'’re in a better place now?

509
00:34:54,195 --> 00:34:56,991
-A hundred percent.
- Yeah.

510
00:34:57,854 --> 00:34:59,338
Life'’s a journey anyway.

511
00:34:59,476 --> 00:35:00,822
Even if we didn'’t have
anything that happened,

512
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,893
it'’d still be
full of ups and downs.

513
00:35:03,031 --> 00:35:04,378
Sometimes they just get
exaggerated a bit.

514
00:35:04,516 --> 00:35:06,449
Yes, exactly.

515
00:35:07,622 --> 00:35:09,831
Um, Benny boy.

516
00:35:12,834 --> 00:35:16,459
Ben'’s one of the
beneficiaries of the charity.

517
00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:20,739
He was a paratrooper
whose parachute didn'’t open.

518
00:35:22,982 --> 00:35:26,883
I joined 7th Parachute
Regiment Royal Horse Artillery.

519
00:35:27,021 --> 00:35:32,475
This would have been my 15th
military jump, I think it was.

520
00:35:32,613 --> 00:35:36,410
Uh, but I'’ve done about
65 civilian jumps beforehand.

521
00:35:39,067 --> 00:35:42,140
I remember being in the plane.

522
00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:46,627
I was the third... third man
out of the door.

523
00:35:46,765 --> 00:35:49,423
And I remember...
I remember jumping.

524
00:35:51,425 --> 00:35:58,017
I remember looking up,
seeing what I thought was a fully opened parachute.

525
00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:59,881
I thought, "Right, look at
the floor, see where I am."

526
00:36:00,019 --> 00:36:03,678
And as I looked at the floor,
I hit it.

527
00:36:03,816 --> 00:36:09,753
And when I came to, I just
remember laying there thinking,

528
00:36:09,891 --> 00:36:11,859
"That was a lot harder
than I remembered."

529
00:36:14,620 --> 00:36:19,038
And I thought,
"I need to catch my breath, I need to catch my breath."

530
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,765
And I thought,
"I'’ve got another jump to do.

531
00:36:21,903 --> 00:36:25,252
I can'’t embarrass myself
in front of the blokes. I need to get up."

532
00:36:25,390 --> 00:36:27,530
So I took my helmet off,

533
00:36:27,668 --> 00:36:31,430
and as I went to get up, the
pain just shot through my body.

534
00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,501
And next thing I know,
someone'’s grabbed my head.

535
00:36:36,677 --> 00:36:39,645
He was a medic, and he shouted
out, "He'’s alive."

536
00:36:46,652 --> 00:36:49,068
And they worked out
about 75 mile an hour I hit the floor at.

537
00:36:52,313 --> 00:36:54,626
Just a sheer unlucky accident.

538
00:36:57,111 --> 00:37:00,183
I have no sensation
in my right leg.

539
00:37:00,321 --> 00:37:04,567
I have memory loss,
severe back pain.

540
00:37:06,362 --> 00:37:08,226
I'’m on medication
for the rest of my life.

541
00:37:09,951 --> 00:37:12,333
Someone filmed my jump
at that time.

542
00:37:12,471 --> 00:37:14,887
I kept watching it
and playing it back, thinking,

543
00:37:15,025 --> 00:37:17,442
"Where did I go wrong?
What could I have done?"

544
00:37:20,514 --> 00:37:22,585
There was nothing
I could have done,

545
00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:25,243
but I was doing it
for nearly a year.

546
00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:30,558
I was diagnosed with PTSD,

547
00:37:30,696 --> 00:37:32,526
with the effects
of not sleeping

548
00:37:32,664 --> 00:37:34,907
and watching the video
over and over again.

549
00:37:36,495 --> 00:37:40,499
For me, it was failing.
I feel like I failed.

550
00:37:40,637 --> 00:37:44,227
So throughout my life, I feel
like I fail a lot of stuff.

551
00:37:46,678 --> 00:37:49,715
Meeting Ed
has been really pinnacle

552
00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:53,995
in Ben'’s mental recovery
probably, emotional recovery,

553
00:37:54,133 --> 00:37:58,206
because Ed has such a way
of starting off deep conversations,

554
00:37:58,345 --> 00:38:00,588
and Ben'’s not had that before

555
00:38:00,726 --> 00:38:03,350
where he feels
completely comfortable being so vulnerable.

556
00:38:03,488 --> 00:38:07,940
With me he will,
but with somebody else. So it'’s nice for him to have that.

557
00:38:13,808 --> 00:38:16,328
There'’s a saying,
"The pendulum always swings."

558
00:38:16,466 --> 00:38:18,606
So it'’s not just
that you'’ll get through it.

559
00:38:18,744 --> 00:38:21,057
Actually it will go back
positive again as well.

560
00:38:21,195 --> 00:38:22,748
And it'’s just having
that faith, right?

561
00:38:22,886 --> 00:38:25,475
When it goes negative,
you can do something about it.

562
00:38:25,613 --> 00:38:28,513
But just always have the faith
that it'’ll come back,

563
00:38:28,651 --> 00:38:30,756
come back the other way.

564
00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:32,965
Anyone else
like to offer something up?

565
00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:36,141
The perspective that the walk,
like, this has given us.

566
00:38:36,279 --> 00:38:38,350
And, like, being able to walk
with all these different people

567
00:38:38,488 --> 00:38:40,387
and, like, make
these meaningful connections.

568
00:38:40,525 --> 00:38:42,975
An intensive bonding experience.

569
00:38:43,113 --> 00:38:45,392
Whether you like it or not.
Forced.

570
00:38:45,530 --> 00:38:49,913
I was in an accident in 2016,
in a bus crash in France,

571
00:38:50,051 --> 00:38:56,299
and really struggled after that,
developing PTSD and anxiety.

572
00:38:56,437 --> 00:38:58,405
One of the things that
I think Ed does really well

573
00:38:58,543 --> 00:39:03,444
is his reframing and finding
the enjoyment in life.

574
00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:06,447
Cool people are people
who completely own who they are,

575
00:39:06,585 --> 00:39:10,520
and whether that is you love
drystone walls or War...

576
00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:13,592
Or Warhammer.

577
00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:16,423
Understand who you are,
what you enjoy, and then don'’t be embarrassed by that.

578
00:39:16,561 --> 00:39:19,495
Own it. You are capable of way
more than you think, you know.

579
00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:22,290
We'’re too quick to be put
into pigeon holes by society,

580
00:39:22,429 --> 00:39:24,223
by our friends, by ourselves.

581
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,087
But getting outside
of that comfort zone,

582
00:39:26,225 --> 00:39:29,125
that'’s where the fun stuff is,
and the growth is.

583
00:39:29,263 --> 00:39:31,679
It'’s nice
to just interact with people

584
00:39:31,817 --> 00:39:35,303
who take the fact
you'’re injured on face value,

585
00:39:35,442 --> 00:39:37,789
and it doesn'’t matter
that you'’re looking a bit funny

586
00:39:37,927 --> 00:39:41,102
or wearing a leg brace
or a bit wobbly.

587
00:39:42,828 --> 00:39:44,554
One thing I'’ve found
since being injured

588
00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:48,006
is that an awful lot of
elements of it are very lonely,

589
00:39:48,144 --> 00:39:51,527
and there'’s an awful lot that
you have to do on your own.

590
00:39:51,665 --> 00:39:56,635
So in that aspect, I love it.
It'’s really important.

591
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,605
Have you swum yet?

592
00:40:00,743 --> 00:40:03,849
Yeah, the first time I swam
was when I shat myself.

593
00:40:05,023 --> 00:40:06,265
I had to swim.

594
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,233
That was in Penzance Harbor.

595
00:40:09,337 --> 00:40:11,132
I'’ve got my spark back.

596
00:40:11,270 --> 00:40:14,619
I feel like they'’ve
really given me that back.

597
00:40:14,757 --> 00:40:16,172
A quick pint now?

598
00:40:16,310 --> 00:40:18,657
Yes, absolutely.
Celebratory pint.

599
00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:27,045
Cos I'’ve been accepted
as a beneficiary,

600
00:40:27,183 --> 00:40:30,013
I get two or three years
of life coaching from Lois.

601
00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:41,508
Hands down, one of
the best things I'’ve had.

602
00:40:41,646 --> 00:40:45,304
Throughout my rehab,
I get told what to do,

603
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,031
or "You need to do this",
"You'’re feeling this."

604
00:40:48,169 --> 00:40:52,553
So Lois spoke to me
and got the answers from me,

605
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,659
which was the first time,

606
00:40:54,797 --> 00:40:58,490
so, yeah,
it was very, very helpful.

607
00:41:02,943 --> 00:41:05,117
It'’s kind of
a "pinch myself" moment

608
00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:09,052
that Ed and I have created this
and that it'’s really working.

609
00:41:09,190 --> 00:41:12,780
And what'’s really exciting is
that it'’s only the beginning,

610
00:41:12,918 --> 00:41:15,058
so, yeah, it'’s cool.

611
00:41:20,685 --> 00:41:22,376
What if I put
your foot down?

612
00:41:22,514 --> 00:41:24,482
No, no, no, no. No.

613
00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:28,140
I need to get in a better
position. I don'’t know what...

614
00:41:30,971 --> 00:41:34,077
It'’s not easy day-to-day
living with a spinal cord injury.

615
00:41:34,215 --> 00:41:36,079
Fuck.

616
00:41:36,217 --> 00:41:38,703
I can'’t do all the things
that I did before.

617
00:41:38,841 --> 00:41:40,359
That'’s better.

618
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,844
I'’ll never be able
to play rugby again,

619
00:41:41,982 --> 00:41:43,846
or run around with my kids,
or...

620
00:41:43,984 --> 00:41:46,296
not go out
without a catheter bag on,

621
00:41:46,434 --> 00:41:48,298
or use my left hand.

622
00:41:48,436 --> 00:41:50,853
- OK, I'’ll put a cushion there.
- Wait. Let me roll.

623
00:41:50,991 --> 00:41:53,165
- Are you sure? Just stay there.
- See if I can roll on my back.

624
00:41:53,303 --> 00:41:55,340
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

625
00:41:55,478 --> 00:41:57,342
Probably
one of those things, I would have thought

626
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,137
that that would have
broken me, you know.

627
00:41:59,275 --> 00:42:01,035
No, actually. Fuck.

628
00:42:01,173 --> 00:42:04,073
But, actually, it'’s just...

629
00:42:04,211 --> 00:42:08,456
The perspective piece
is the most important.

630
00:42:08,595 --> 00:42:11,494
Helping others
helps you massively.

631
00:42:11,632 --> 00:42:14,117
It'’s such a shortcut
to making yourself feel better,

632
00:42:14,255 --> 00:42:16,223
and I think we'’re set up
like that as humans.

633
00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:24,542
Ed phoned me saying
that he would like me to go to Nepal with him.

634
00:42:29,581 --> 00:42:33,551
And I can remember,
I burst into tears straightaway.

635
00:42:33,689 --> 00:42:37,002
I was so happy. Yeah, I thought,
"Oh, this is like a..."

636
00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:38,694
I needed a new challenge,
or a goal.

637
00:42:38,832 --> 00:42:40,454
I didn'’t have anything,
so I felt like

638
00:42:40,592 --> 00:42:42,525
I wasn'’t going anywhere.

639
00:42:51,051 --> 00:42:53,363
There wasn'’t supposed to be
a beneficiary on this trip.

640
00:42:53,501 --> 00:42:54,986
It was one of my challenges

641
00:42:55,124 --> 00:42:57,782
in terms of trying
to get to a new height.

642
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,853
But getting to know Ben,

643
00:42:59,991 --> 00:43:04,202
I realised that he was on
a very similar journey to me.

644
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,998
He'’s an ex-paratrooper,
seriously fit.

645
00:43:08,413 --> 00:43:10,691
Hopefully he can start
to put things in place

646
00:43:10,829 --> 00:43:14,730
to find some purpose again
and go down a path he wants to.

647
00:43:16,559 --> 00:43:18,665
I know that my body'’s only got
a certain shelf life,

648
00:43:18,803 --> 00:43:20,425
and it might mean
that it all ends at 40,

649
00:43:20,563 --> 00:43:24,602
but I'’m terrified
of becoming stagnant.

650
00:43:34,370 --> 00:43:35,992
Kathmandu is Kathmandu.

651
00:43:36,130 --> 00:43:38,512
You'’re hit by
a completely different culture,

652
00:43:38,650 --> 00:43:39,720
which is amazing.

653
00:43:39,858 --> 00:43:42,412
The sounds, the smells.

654
00:43:42,550 --> 00:43:44,552
So there was this mad scramble
on social media

655
00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,658
to try and find a videographer.

656
00:43:46,796 --> 00:43:49,696
- A thousand rupees.
- And Beetle was really enthusiastic.

657
00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:51,801
So that'’s how he ended up
on the trip with us.

658
00:43:51,939 --> 00:43:54,010
- Let'’s get some face paint on.
- Happy Holi!

659
00:43:54,148 --> 00:43:56,219
Arron'’s a big strong guy,
he'’s very fit,

660
00:43:56,357 --> 00:43:58,187
and very experienced
in those environments.

661
00:43:58,325 --> 00:44:01,121
-Happy Holi!
-Happy Holi!

662
00:44:01,259 --> 00:44:05,194
He also does breath work
sessions and qigong.

663
00:44:05,332 --> 00:44:09,025
He'’s a great friend of mine
and a great ally of the charity as well.

664
00:44:10,061 --> 00:44:11,407
Look at this.

665
00:44:11,545 --> 00:44:13,409
Before I left,
Evie pulled me to one side

666
00:44:13,547 --> 00:44:16,170
and said she'’d got something
to tell me.

667
00:44:16,308 --> 00:44:19,898
I immediately thought
it was bad news.

668
00:44:20,036 --> 00:44:22,625
And she told me,
uh, she was pregnant.

669
00:44:22,763 --> 00:44:25,076
I spent the whole three weeks
thinking of baby names, really.

670
00:44:34,637 --> 00:44:36,535
We headed
into the mountains,

671
00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:39,262
and I remember just being like,
"Yes, here we go."

672
00:44:41,126 --> 00:44:42,749
Beautiful out here.

673
00:44:46,373 --> 00:44:52,551
Then we were off-grid,
and it was a bit of a daunting feeling,

674
00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:56,901
because it'’s not something
we get to do very often in the Western world.

675
00:44:57,039 --> 00:45:01,733
Not speaking to Lois for a long
time would be very difficult.

676
00:45:04,253 --> 00:45:09,879
We started heading up this
valley, and it was our first really challenging day.

677
00:45:12,537 --> 00:45:16,506
To become the first person ever
to go to over 7,000 metres

678
00:45:16,644 --> 00:45:18,785
with my type of injury
is incredible,

679
00:45:18,923 --> 00:45:24,618
but to be able to do it with
Ben is even more powerful.

680
00:45:30,175 --> 00:45:31,418
There it is.

681
00:45:36,803 --> 00:45:38,252
Himlung Himal.

682
00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:47,261
Himlung appeared in
all its glory in front of us,

683
00:45:47,399 --> 00:45:53,992
and there'’s this overwhelming
feeling of isolation, in a beautiful way.

684
00:46:04,831 --> 00:46:06,315
Ah!

685
00:46:06,453 --> 00:46:08,386
Welcome to the Base Camp, guys!

686
00:46:08,524 --> 00:46:10,353
Yes, mate.

687
00:46:10,491 --> 00:46:11,941
Welcome to the Base Camp.

688
00:46:12,079 --> 00:46:13,909
It'’s so cool.

689
00:46:16,428 --> 00:46:19,121
Having no phone signal

690
00:46:19,259 --> 00:46:23,608
was one of the best things
I'’ve ever done.

691
00:46:24,989 --> 00:46:26,645
If you wanted
to be on your own,

692
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,200
you could just be on your own
in your own head.

693
00:46:29,338 --> 00:46:30,718
It helped massively.

694
00:46:32,755 --> 00:46:35,516
It'’s amazing
when you'’re in spaces like that and you have no distraction,

695
00:46:35,654 --> 00:46:37,346
and you contemplate
your place in the world

696
00:46:37,484 --> 00:46:40,004
and realise how small
and, in a weird way,

697
00:46:40,142 --> 00:46:41,522
humble and insignificant
you are,

698
00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:44,077
it'’s an immensely
freeing feeling.

699
00:46:46,251 --> 00:46:48,081
Nothing really matters,

700
00:46:48,219 --> 00:46:51,636
not the way you think it does,
especially not you.

701
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:05,788
That'’s the most poignant thing

702
00:47:05,926 --> 00:47:08,687
about being
in the high mountains for me,

703
00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:12,346
how it changes me,
not physically but emotionally, when I come back,

704
00:47:12,484 --> 00:47:14,797
and gives me
so much more clarity.

705
00:47:16,868 --> 00:47:21,321
A little pre-lunch hike
with Benny boy.

706
00:47:22,770 --> 00:47:25,118
Air'’s so thin up here.

707
00:47:25,256 --> 00:47:29,708
It must be about, well,
well over 5,000 metres up here.

708
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:33,264
But look at this. That is wild.

709
00:47:34,955 --> 00:47:36,923
There'’s Himlung
in the back there.

710
00:47:38,579 --> 00:47:42,031
Camp One'’s up there. So,
Base Camp, Camp One, Camp Two.

711
00:47:42,169 --> 00:47:48,382
Three-day climb
to get from 4,900 to 7,126.

712
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,832
Beautiful.

713
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:52,973
When I set my mind
to something,

714
00:47:53,111 --> 00:47:56,494
I have to complete it before
I move on to anything else.

715
00:47:56,632 --> 00:48:00,601
Once I got Nepal in my head,
there was no going back.

716
00:48:00,739 --> 00:48:02,086
Pumped, Benny?

717
00:48:02,224 --> 00:48:04,122
Pumped, I'’m really excited.

718
00:48:18,861 --> 00:48:23,072
After the accident,
I started to feel suicidal.

719
00:48:24,625 --> 00:48:27,145
And I closed my eyes
whilst I was driving.

720
00:48:27,283 --> 00:48:30,942
I got to a real low point
and I thought, "I'’m done."

721
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,703
If it wasn'’t for my family
and my close friends,

722
00:48:33,841 --> 00:48:35,636
it'’d have been probably
a different story.

723
00:48:42,264 --> 00:48:45,543
During my school life,
I was bullied.

724
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,928
People always told me
I couldn'’t do something.

725
00:48:54,690 --> 00:48:57,382
Again, since my accident, um,

726
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,247
people have been telling me
I can'’t do stuff.

727
00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:08,359
And I wanna prove '’em wrong.
Um...

728
00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:13,398
Up until the day
I left for this trip,

729
00:49:13,536 --> 00:49:16,643
people have been
putting barriers up, walls up.

730
00:49:16,781 --> 00:49:18,886
"You can'’t do this.
You shouldn'’t do this.

731
00:49:19,025 --> 00:49:21,406
You'’re gonna cause yourself
more damage."

732
00:49:23,132 --> 00:49:28,137
But why not?
If I can do it, I can do it now.

733
00:49:28,275 --> 00:49:31,658
Who knows? Later on in life,
I won'’t be able to do these things.

734
00:49:33,487 --> 00:49:37,008
I wanna prove people wrong.
I love proving people wrong.

735
00:49:37,146 --> 00:49:41,564
And I also want to show other
people that they can do it too.

736
00:49:54,060 --> 00:49:58,443
We had to cross this glacier
that was covered by boulders.

737
00:50:00,273 --> 00:50:02,930
And because no one
had been there for two years,

738
00:50:03,069 --> 00:50:04,587
everything had moved.

739
00:50:06,589 --> 00:50:08,281
Everything was loose.

740
00:50:10,455 --> 00:50:15,529
And a boulder field
is like my worst nightmare when you'’re unstable.

741
00:50:18,118 --> 00:50:20,051
And for Ben as well.

742
00:50:20,189 --> 00:50:21,604
Oh, oh!

743
00:50:21,742 --> 00:50:22,916
- Do you wanna grab that?
- Move to the right.

744
00:50:23,054 --> 00:50:24,711
Step quickly...

745
00:50:26,609 --> 00:50:29,302
Oh, oh!

746
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,373
Yeah, boy.

747
00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,825
The level of concentration
had to be so high.

748
00:50:37,586 --> 00:50:40,692
Our disabilities or our
physical limitations, really,

749
00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:43,799
sort of become more obvious.

750
00:50:43,937 --> 00:50:47,561
OK, OK, OK, OK. No, no, no.
Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop.

751
00:50:47,699 --> 00:50:49,287
It'’s OK. It'’s OK.

752
00:50:49,425 --> 00:50:51,634
And became more obvious
to the guides as well.

753
00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:54,258
They'’re thinking at that point,
"How the hell are these guys

754
00:50:54,396 --> 00:50:58,434
gonna even get ten metres
over there, never mind up this mountain?"

755
00:51:03,681 --> 00:51:07,616
You really started
to feel the effects of the altitude with breathing.

756
00:51:07,754 --> 00:51:09,618
You take three steps
and you'’re out of breath.

757
00:51:09,756 --> 00:51:12,690
So there'’s
a lot of silent walking.

758
00:51:16,211 --> 00:51:20,111
I taught myself
to block any negativity.

759
00:51:20,249 --> 00:51:22,665
On the stick and down.

760
00:51:27,532 --> 00:51:33,469
I can'’t feel my right leg,
so I had to be looking on the ground constantly.

761
00:51:33,607 --> 00:51:34,436
You all right?

762
00:51:34,574 --> 00:51:35,299
It was hard.

763
00:51:35,437 --> 00:51:36,990
This is ridiculous.

764
00:51:41,167 --> 00:51:43,479
Just mentally
the whole time he'’s been talking about the summit.

765
00:51:43,617 --> 00:51:45,861
Yeah, he talks a lot about it,
he'’s got a point to prove to people

766
00:51:45,999 --> 00:51:48,346
and he wants
to prove people wrong, but we'’re in the mountains,

767
00:51:48,484 --> 00:51:50,935
so it doesn'’t matter
who you are,

768
00:51:51,073 --> 00:51:53,179
if she decides
to not let us get to the top,

769
00:51:53,317 --> 00:51:55,560
then we won'’t get to the top.

770
00:52:00,669 --> 00:52:04,397
I just worry
where his head will be

771
00:52:04,535 --> 00:52:05,984
if he doesn'’t make it
to the top.

772
00:52:11,197 --> 00:52:13,130
He'’s pushing himself so hard.

773
00:52:13,268 --> 00:52:15,339
And he'’s just going,
"Yeah, I'’m fine, I'’m fine",

774
00:52:15,477 --> 00:52:17,375
when clearly he'’s not.

775
00:52:18,997 --> 00:52:20,999
He'’s really grappling
with the frustration

776
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,416
of not being the person
he was before.

777
00:52:25,176 --> 00:52:27,903
And it'’s hard
to let go of that person.

778
00:52:29,284 --> 00:52:32,873
How are you finding
this terrain, Ben?

779
00:52:33,011 --> 00:52:37,223
Does that answer your question?

780
00:52:41,537 --> 00:52:43,815
Very, very,
very difficult.

781
00:52:45,955 --> 00:52:50,788
Horrible day. So I would say
this is horrible day.

782
00:52:53,446 --> 00:52:59,521
Very risky.
So... very scary for everyone.

783
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:11,395
Probably the most mentally
draining day of my life.

784
00:53:27,928 --> 00:53:32,070
At Camp One, you can, like,
look down on the glacier.

785
00:53:34,314 --> 00:53:38,491
And it was just the most
incredible place to camp.

786
00:53:41,632 --> 00:53:44,428
It was amazing. We'’d bonded
really tightly by that point.

787
00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:48,501
Especially with the guides
and the Nepali team.

788
00:53:48,639 --> 00:53:51,193
We woke up early,
and that was it,

789
00:53:51,331 --> 00:53:53,091
we were up towards Camp Two.

790
00:53:58,442 --> 00:54:00,306
The first time we'’d put
boots and crampons on,

791
00:54:00,444 --> 00:54:02,446
which makes it much more real,

792
00:54:02,584 --> 00:54:05,242
and we head off
into the crevasse field.

793
00:54:06,070 --> 00:54:07,485
Back, back, back, back.

794
00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:09,591
- Back, back?
- Yeah.

795
00:54:09,729 --> 00:54:11,800
So I was stood on the edge
of this crevasse

796
00:54:11,938 --> 00:54:14,354
knowing that there'’s
a good chance I could end up

797
00:54:14,492 --> 00:54:16,356
falling into the crevasse.

798
00:54:16,494 --> 00:54:20,015
I'’m gonna go
with my right leg. Ready? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

799
00:54:20,153 --> 00:54:21,672
One...

800
00:54:21,810 --> 00:54:23,605
Good, good, good, good!

801
00:54:24,985 --> 00:54:27,091
And just about make it over.

802
00:54:27,229 --> 00:54:30,336
And that was
within five minutes of getting on the glacier

803
00:54:30,474 --> 00:54:34,029
and was kind of a sign
of things to come.

804
00:54:37,895 --> 00:54:41,001
Ben was finding it a lot harder
than the rest of us.

805
00:54:41,139 --> 00:54:45,316
And he was just pushing
and pushing and pushing.

806
00:54:45,454 --> 00:54:46,869
I was worried for him.

807
00:54:47,007 --> 00:54:49,320
We'’re likely
to get altitude sickness,

808
00:54:49,458 --> 00:54:51,288
so let'’s just slow it down.

809
00:54:51,426 --> 00:54:52,772
Go at a pace
that'’s comfortable for you.

810
00:54:52,910 --> 00:54:55,292
We'’re all more than happy
to have a rest,

811
00:54:55,430 --> 00:54:57,294
trust me.

812
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:11,238
My leg suddenly
stopped working.

813
00:55:14,069 --> 00:55:18,729
I was more angry at myself
that my leg wasn'’t working.

814
00:55:20,144 --> 00:55:22,319
Really started to annoy me.

815
00:55:25,908 --> 00:55:27,772
Got nothing...

816
00:55:34,192 --> 00:55:37,437
Without this. Let'’s do it.

817
00:55:49,553 --> 00:55:52,763
Oh, come on. Get a grip.

818
00:55:55,904 --> 00:55:57,699
Feel like a turtle.

819
00:56:11,782 --> 00:56:13,922
Yeah?

820
00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:21,516
I mean, I was
an absolute wreck as well.

821
00:56:21,654 --> 00:56:24,519
It was knee-deep snow
most of the time,

822
00:56:24,657 --> 00:56:25,796
and it'’s one step at a time.

823
00:56:25,934 --> 00:56:27,556
And at that altitude,

824
00:56:27,694 --> 00:56:29,800
you'’ve got hardly any oxygen.

825
00:56:30,835 --> 00:56:32,147
Look at that, every step...

826
00:56:32,285 --> 00:56:33,804
every single step.

827
00:56:44,608 --> 00:56:48,646
And we'’ve got to leave
in seven hours time...

828
00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:51,166
...to climb to the top of that.

829
00:56:51,304 --> 00:56:55,584
I think I was just, like,
I don'’t know how I'’m gonna get up at ten o'’clock

830
00:56:55,722 --> 00:56:56,654
and keep moving.

831
00:56:56,792 --> 00:56:58,898
It'’s so hard.

832
00:57:02,971 --> 00:57:04,455
Just what I need.

833
00:57:04,593 --> 00:57:06,388
I need a Jacko hug.

834
00:57:09,978 --> 00:57:10,944
Well done, boy.

835
00:57:11,082 --> 00:57:12,532
The Nepali guides,

836
00:57:12,670 --> 00:57:14,603
they can skip
across the top of it.

837
00:57:14,741 --> 00:57:17,226
Every step, even though
I was in their footprints,

838
00:57:17,364 --> 00:57:18,504
that bit lower,

839
00:57:18,642 --> 00:57:21,783
and then no hip flexor
to lift out of it.

840
00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:25,200
Yeah, I was swearing at my feet
quite a bit.

841
00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:27,340
- Yeah, I had a meltdown.
- Yeah, me too, mate.

842
00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:30,205
I had a meltdown as well,
don'’t worry.

843
00:57:31,586 --> 00:57:33,967
- Night-night.
- Good night.

844
00:57:39,352 --> 00:57:42,010
Hello, Eddie, babes. Um...

845
00:57:42,148 --> 00:57:47,705
I just wanted to wish you
a huge, huge good luck climbing Himlung.

846
00:57:47,843 --> 00:57:52,745
Barry and I believe
that you will get to the top of this mountain.

847
00:57:52,883 --> 00:57:56,369
No?

848
00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,888
But, in all seriousness,

849
00:57:58,026 --> 00:57:58,992
it doesn'’t matter to me

850
00:57:59,130 --> 00:58:00,304
if you make it to the top.

851
00:58:00,442 --> 00:58:02,720
I am unbelievably proud

852
00:58:02,858 --> 00:58:04,446
to call you my husband.

853
00:58:04,584 --> 00:58:07,449
I'’m so excited
for our future together.

854
00:58:07,587 --> 00:58:11,902
And I just can'’t wait to get
you back down the mountain and into my arms.

855
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:13,144
I love you so much.

856
00:58:13,282 --> 00:58:14,836
Hi, babe.

857
00:58:14,974 --> 00:58:16,872
Hope you'’re OK
and staying safe and warm.

858
00:58:17,010 --> 00:58:23,603
I know that your
determination/stubbornness,

859
00:58:23,741 --> 00:58:27,365
um, and your strength and your
resilience is a part of you,

860
00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:31,024
and that'’s partly why
I love you so much, um,

861
00:58:31,162 --> 00:58:33,510
and I know that that'’s what
will get you up the mountain,

862
00:58:33,648 --> 00:58:38,066
but I just want you to remember
that there'’s so much more to you than that.

863
00:58:38,204 --> 00:58:41,863
So whatever happens, you'’ve
done an amazing, amazing thing.

864
00:58:42,001 --> 00:58:45,625
I really, really love you
and I really miss you.

865
00:58:45,763 --> 00:58:49,318
And I can'’t wait to see you
when you get back.

866
00:59:00,916 --> 00:59:05,369
I am exhausted. Got just
over a thousand metres left.

867
00:59:05,507 --> 00:59:11,237
I have no idea
how this is gonna go. Ben, absolutely smashing it.

868
00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:15,482
Struggling too,
but so proud of him.

869
00:59:17,519 --> 00:59:19,763
- Boss.
-Thank you, Khajou.

870
00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:21,592
We'’ve stepped out of our tents

871
00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:25,941
into the most incredible sky
lit up with stars.

872
00:59:28,841 --> 00:59:30,981
We wanted to go
across the crevasse field

873
00:59:31,119 --> 00:59:33,190
through the coldness
of the night.

874
00:59:33,328 --> 00:59:37,539
The ice is more stable.
It'’s much easier for Ed to walk across.

875
00:59:37,677 --> 00:59:41,163
I got up
and I just threw up everywhere.

876
00:59:41,301 --> 00:59:44,063
Beetle came out and said,
"Ben'’s not well."

877
00:59:44,201 --> 00:59:46,583
And he had had altitude sickness
through the night.

878
00:59:46,721 --> 00:59:48,792
Raveen will take him
all the way down to Base Camp.

879
00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:50,241
- ED: OK.
- Base Camp.

880
00:59:50,379 --> 00:59:52,381
I think better
to go all the way down.

881
00:59:52,519 --> 00:59:55,246
If you push on
with that, and you'’re being sick,

882
00:59:55,384 --> 00:59:57,732
it'’s life or death, really.

883
00:59:57,870 --> 01:00:02,115
That voice of failure
started creeping back in again.

884
01:00:02,253 --> 01:00:05,463
But I'’d prepared myself for it.

885
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,983
I did a lot of work
beforehand of

886
01:00:08,121 --> 01:00:10,503
I can'’t control
the altitude sickness, couldn'’t control the weather,

887
01:00:10,641 --> 01:00:12,712
so if the weather changed,
then we couldn'’t get there.

888
01:00:12,850 --> 01:00:14,231
These things
are out of my control.

889
01:00:14,369 --> 01:00:15,888
I remember going into his tent
and just saying,

890
01:00:16,026 --> 01:00:18,476
"Listen, mate,
you'’ve got to 6,000 metres.

891
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:21,445
You'’re the only other person
with a spinal cord injury to ever do that.

892
01:00:21,583 --> 01:00:25,794
Before this,
you haven'’t even climbed anything higher than Ben Nevis.

893
01:00:25,932 --> 01:00:28,694
Like, it'’s a bit ridiculous
that you'’re even here, to be honest.

894
01:00:28,832 --> 01:00:30,005
You should be so proud
of what you'’ve done."

895
01:00:30,143 --> 01:00:31,628
And you know what,
he looked at me

896
01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:33,975
and he was like...
he was like, "It'’s fine."

897
01:00:34,113 --> 01:00:39,428
And I could tell
he was fine with it. And I was just so relieved.

898
01:00:41,983 --> 01:00:44,226
See you in a couple of days.

899
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:49,542
Ed'’s the highest.
I'’m the second highest.

900
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,028
So I'’ve accomplished
what I wanted.

901
01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:56,411
I'’ve proved people wrong
who told me I couldn'’t do it.

902
01:00:56,549 --> 01:00:59,310
Rather than looked
at what he couldn'’t do,

903
01:00:59,448 --> 01:01:01,658
he was looking
at what he can do.

904
01:01:01,796 --> 01:01:05,800
And I walked off into the night
with the other guys there

905
01:01:05,938 --> 01:01:07,249
just with a big smile
on my face.

906
01:01:07,940 --> 01:01:09,079
Oh, shit...

907
01:01:11,529 --> 01:01:13,393
Do you want me to pull
that one as well?

908
01:01:13,531 --> 01:01:14,774
No, I should be all right
on this one.

909
01:01:14,912 --> 01:01:16,396
About two hours in,

910
01:01:16,534 --> 01:01:18,502
I fell straight through
a crevasse.

911
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,298
Got up and fell straight
into another crevasse.

912
01:01:24,335 --> 01:01:26,786
Man, is this whole thing
a crevasse?

913
01:01:26,924 --> 01:01:29,962
And that'’s when I realised
that we were surrounded by them

914
01:01:30,100 --> 01:01:33,413
but effectively walking
over the top of them.

915
01:01:38,073 --> 01:01:40,110
No.

916
01:01:40,248 --> 01:01:42,940
Oh. I'’m in there.

917
01:01:43,078 --> 01:01:45,115
I can'’t get my leg out of there.

918
01:01:51,984 --> 01:01:55,781
Six hours
into our summit attempt,

919
01:01:55,919 --> 01:01:58,197
the sun had started to come up.

920
01:02:00,578 --> 01:02:03,478
We started
the sort of steep ascent.

921
01:02:03,616 --> 01:02:06,895
It didn'’t feel like you'’re
getting any closer to the top.

922
01:02:13,281 --> 01:02:15,559
I remember checking with
the guide, "How high are we?"

923
01:02:15,697 --> 01:02:19,149
And he was like,
"We'’re at about 6,800 metres."

924
01:02:19,287 --> 01:02:22,773
I was now higher
than I'’d ever been before.

925
01:02:25,534 --> 01:02:28,606
OK, so we'’ve been going
for nine hours.

926
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:34,543
It'’s fair to say,
it is by far the hardest thing any of us have ever done.

927
01:02:38,271 --> 01:02:40,998
I'’m only 300 vertical metres
short of the summit.

928
01:02:41,136 --> 01:02:45,520
But that could be
four or five hours. I knew Arron wouldn'’t turn round.

929
01:02:45,658 --> 01:02:49,144
So I knew I was responsible
for him as well.

930
01:02:54,736 --> 01:02:57,946
When Ed finally
collapsed onto his knees, he started crying.

931
01:02:58,084 --> 01:03:01,122
He was at complete
breaking point.

932
01:03:03,883 --> 01:03:06,058
My body won'’t let me
do anymore...

933
01:03:06,196 --> 01:03:08,612
I have never seen him
there before.

934
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,373
He had pushed it
to his absolute limit.

935
01:03:11,511 --> 01:03:15,653
I am done, and I'’m doing it
with two legs, mate.

936
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,586
I'’ve pushed it so hard.

937
01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:20,935
Fuck.

938
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,767
No, that'’s it, that'’s it...

939
01:03:25,905 --> 01:03:27,044
I'’m done...

940
01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:35,881
So we'’ve decided
that we will have to abandon the summit attempt.

941
01:03:43,095 --> 01:03:45,304
It wasn'’t until
I'’d made that decision and pointed downhill,

942
01:03:45,442 --> 01:03:48,617
I thought,
"Oh, my God, I can'’t walk."

943
01:03:48,755 --> 01:03:52,069
All of a sudden,
my quad that I'’d been working so hard all the way up there

944
01:03:52,207 --> 01:03:56,039
was just shaking cos it'’s now
facing down the hill.

945
01:03:56,177 --> 01:04:00,112
And I realised it was
gonna be just as hard to get down the mountain

946
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:03,770
as it was to get to the point
where we'’d got up.

947
01:04:10,398 --> 01:04:14,264
Climbing down to the shoulder
took about six hours.

948
01:04:15,782 --> 01:04:17,301
I was just doing
everything I had to do

949
01:04:17,439 --> 01:04:19,786
to get down the mountain.

950
01:04:22,306 --> 01:04:24,757
We got down to the bottom
of the shoulder

951
01:04:24,895 --> 01:04:27,484
to where
the crevasse field was.

952
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:37,908
We were sat there resting.
I'’m absolutely exhausted.

953
01:04:38,046 --> 01:04:42,223
Like, to the point
where I can'’t speak any more and my body'’s shaking.

954
01:04:42,361 --> 01:04:46,848
But I know
we'’ve got to cross this glacier to get back to Camp Two.

955
01:04:50,231 --> 01:04:52,612
We'’re sat there, and we realise
that all of the snow

956
01:04:52,750 --> 01:04:56,651
that we had walked
across at night, the night before, that was frozen,

957
01:04:56,789 --> 01:04:59,654
was now soft and we were
surrounded by crevasses.

958
01:05:02,208 --> 01:05:05,556
Bigraj managed to get through
to the helicopter company on the satphone.

959
01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:09,181
They said, "We can'’t get
to you. You'’re gonna have to wait till the morning."

960
01:05:09,319 --> 01:05:11,942
-So...
-We'’re all huddling for warmth.

961
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:15,118
...it'’s ten past midnight. Ed'’s not in a good nick.

962
01:05:15,256 --> 01:05:20,917
We were facing night
on the mountain at minus 20, minus 30, probably, degrees.

963
01:05:22,780 --> 01:05:24,990
And it was
just gonna be survival.

964
01:05:27,026 --> 01:05:31,065
Very lucky Bigraj was there,
very lucky Arron was there...

965
01:05:31,203 --> 01:05:32,549
Wait a second.

966
01:05:32,687 --> 01:05:35,345
Gotta get some blood out.
Or spit. Whatever it is.

967
01:05:35,483 --> 01:05:38,658
...to make rational decisions
at that point.

968
01:05:39,970 --> 01:05:41,696
I was almost fitting.

969
01:05:41,834 --> 01:05:45,010
Ed, this will help
with the breathing, mate.

970
01:05:47,288 --> 01:05:48,565
All right.

971
01:05:59,645 --> 01:06:01,405
We'’d do some breath work
with Arron,

972
01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:02,648
and then we'’d do some tensing,

973
01:06:02,786 --> 01:06:04,857
and just keep each other awake.

974
01:06:14,901 --> 01:06:17,663
About 7:30 a.m.
Bigraj went on the satphone

975
01:06:17,801 --> 01:06:21,563
and he called the helicopter,
and they said, yes, they'’re coming up.

976
01:06:25,222 --> 01:06:26,983
That sound of the chopper
coming up the valley,

977
01:06:27,121 --> 01:06:30,089
just unbelievable
sense of relief.

978
01:06:37,614 --> 01:06:40,065
Ed came back.

979
01:06:40,203 --> 01:06:42,999
And Ed, oh, Jesus Christ,
Ed looked really bad.

980
01:06:44,172 --> 01:06:45,794
His lips were all scabbed,

981
01:06:45,932 --> 01:06:49,246
his nose was scabby
where it was all burnt.

982
01:06:52,042 --> 01:06:55,287
The first thing I remember
is Ben running over

983
01:06:55,425 --> 01:06:56,943
and me just giving him
a big hug,

984
01:06:57,082 --> 01:06:59,049
and the look on his face
and how happy he was.

985
01:07:01,155 --> 01:07:03,571
I hugged him and I said,
"Are you all right?"

986
01:07:03,709 --> 01:07:05,711
He said, "That was epic."

987
01:07:05,849 --> 01:07:09,232
I looked at him
and just laughed.

988
01:07:09,370 --> 01:07:12,269
So, yeah, that...
that sums up Ed, I think.

989
01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:16,273
Excuse the feralness.

990
01:07:16,411 --> 01:07:20,795
I'’ve just had my first wash,
uh, in five days, six days.

991
01:07:20,933 --> 01:07:24,764
Um, yeah, we got back to a very
nervous camp this morning.

992
01:07:24,902 --> 01:07:28,527
They'’d put up
all the prayer flags and kept the fire burning for us.

993
01:07:28,665 --> 01:07:31,875
So, very sweet, but also
very humbling at the same time.

994
01:07:32,013 --> 01:07:33,739
Obviously it hasn'’t
all sunk in yet.

995
01:07:38,123 --> 01:07:41,505
I think there was
something higher watching over us that day.

996
01:07:41,643 --> 01:07:44,267
The respect I have
and we have for the mountain,

997
01:07:44,405 --> 01:07:46,821
and showed to the mountain
throughout our whole trip,

998
01:07:46,959 --> 01:07:51,032
I feel very grateful
to have experienced what we experienced.

999
01:07:53,034 --> 01:07:55,864
But I also feel very lucky
that we made it back.

1000
01:07:57,521 --> 01:07:58,936
It'’s not something
I would want

1001
01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:01,318
to repeat in a heartbeat
or choose to,

1002
01:08:01,456 --> 01:08:04,287
but it'’s also something
I definitely, definitely don'’t regret.

1003
01:08:09,775 --> 01:08:12,881
I think every time
that I come close to death,

1004
01:08:13,019 --> 01:08:16,954
which has happened
a couple of times now...

1005
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:18,680
you just realise
how lucky you are

1006
01:08:18,818 --> 01:08:21,373
to be alive in the first place.

1007
01:08:22,443 --> 01:08:24,238
And it'’s something that...

1008
01:08:25,653 --> 01:08:28,207
I definitely
took for granted before.

1009
01:08:34,524 --> 01:08:36,974
That trip
really did change your life.

1010
01:08:37,113 --> 01:08:39,356
It has changed my life,
yeah, massively, yeah.

1011
01:08:39,494 --> 01:08:41,358
All for the better. Yeah.

1012
01:08:41,496 --> 01:08:47,226
And I can'’t thank Ed or Lois
enough for what they'’ve done.

1013
01:08:47,364 --> 01:08:50,298
My stress levels
have gone so low.

1014
01:08:50,436 --> 01:08:53,612
What stuff I'’d usually
get angry at, or snap at...

1015
01:08:55,476 --> 01:09:00,584
I just... I just... I took
Ed'’s attitude of... "Bothered".

1016
01:09:03,863 --> 01:09:06,107
I'’ve accepted
that the accident'’s happened.

1017
01:09:06,245 --> 01:09:10,146
I accepted that my injuries
are what they are now.

1018
01:09:10,284 --> 01:09:12,803
I don'’t wanna be setting on
to the next goal straightaway.

1019
01:09:12,941 --> 01:09:14,564
I just wanna enjoy and think,

1020
01:09:14,702 --> 01:09:17,014
"Oh, my God, what have I done?
What have I achieved?"

1021
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:21,226
And enjoy telling the story,
to be honest.

1022
01:09:25,057 --> 01:09:30,752
I could see straightaway
how much that trip had changed their lives.

1023
01:09:30,890 --> 01:09:33,341
Ed realigned
what he wants to do

1024
01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:37,932
and where he wants to go and
the values that he lives by.

1025
01:09:38,070 --> 01:09:40,590
Only accepting work
that is true to him

1026
01:09:40,728 --> 01:09:42,902
and that is actually
gonna get him closer

1027
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:46,389
to the deeper things he wants
to do, not the superficial.

1028
01:10:01,058 --> 01:10:03,095
- Do you wanna go through this?
- Yeah.

1029
01:10:04,648 --> 01:10:06,581
Last year, we decided

1030
01:10:06,719 --> 01:10:09,205
that we wanted to help impact
more people, basically.

1031
01:10:09,343 --> 01:10:11,897
We had so many applications
and people getting in touch,

1032
01:10:12,035 --> 01:10:14,382
but we kind of wanted
to stick true

1033
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,867
to our approach of
really changing someone'’s life.

1034
01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:20,285
And with that in mind,
you can'’t impact

1035
01:10:20,423 --> 01:10:22,183
a thousand people
at the same time.

1036
01:10:22,321 --> 01:10:23,909
Trying to watch the hand.

1037
01:10:29,328 --> 01:10:32,262
By changing fewer
people'’s lives significantly,

1038
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:36,439
the ripple effect is they then
go on and help other people.

1039
01:10:36,577 --> 01:10:38,130
But also
their stories being told

1040
01:10:38,268 --> 01:10:39,718
means that other people
can see that

1041
01:10:39,856 --> 01:10:41,513
to take inspiration
from it.

1042
01:10:43,515 --> 01:10:46,172
We wanted to create actual
events around the country

1043
01:10:46,311 --> 01:10:48,416
that more people
can get involved with,

1044
01:10:48,554 --> 01:10:50,349
and that'’s Together Outdoors.

1045
01:10:52,593 --> 01:10:55,181
So it'’s like a network,
started from a Facebook group,

1046
01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,598
where people
who have been through trauma

1047
01:10:57,736 --> 01:11:00,186
can get in contact
with each other in their areas

1048
01:11:00,325 --> 01:11:01,360
and go on organised walks.

1049
01:11:24,072 --> 01:11:28,801
I'’m really proud of both
of them. They work so hard.

1050
01:11:28,939 --> 01:11:32,115
They play hard as well,
but they work so hard.

1051
01:11:32,253 --> 01:11:35,532
In the office, outside,
focused on it.

1052
01:11:39,225 --> 01:11:41,504
Honestly, I think
this whole sequence of events

1053
01:11:41,642 --> 01:11:43,471
has strengthened
their relationship

1054
01:11:43,609 --> 01:11:45,542
rather than what sadly
often happens,

1055
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,682
which is weaken
and destroys it.

1056
01:11:51,065 --> 01:11:54,102
They'’re both very passionate
about what they'’re doing.

1057
01:11:55,828 --> 01:11:58,210
I mean, you can see,
they enjoy it.

1058
01:12:03,836 --> 01:12:07,771
They can see what a difference
it'’s making to people.

1059
01:12:10,153 --> 01:12:12,328
Positive emotion
is very healing.

1060
01:12:13,984 --> 01:12:16,297
People are more likely
to get better from an illness

1061
01:12:16,435 --> 01:12:18,782
if they are positive
in themselves

1062
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:22,165
and are surrounded by people
who feed positivity into them.

1063
01:12:22,303 --> 01:12:24,547
Yes, Jen! Fist bump!

1064
01:12:24,685 --> 01:12:26,963
- I can'’t believe it.
- Yes!

1065
01:12:27,101 --> 01:12:29,275
It'’s fairly obvious,
but it is true.

1066
01:12:30,967 --> 01:12:33,452
With all the charity work I do,
all the mentoring I'’m doing,

1067
01:12:33,590 --> 01:12:35,074
it'’s still healing me.

1068
01:12:54,231 --> 01:12:58,408
How are you feeling about
the climb with Leo and Waldo?

1069
01:12:58,546 --> 01:12:59,720
- I'’m excited.
- Yeah?

1070
01:12:59,858 --> 01:13:04,172
I mean, scared, but excited.

1071
01:13:04,310 --> 01:13:07,728
Yeah, I think it'’s one of those
which is really gonna...

1072
01:13:07,866 --> 01:13:09,454
it'’s right on the limit of...

1073
01:13:09,592 --> 01:13:11,490
I mean, it'’s beyond
my technical ability already.

1074
01:13:11,628 --> 01:13:14,182
I still question
why you do these things.

1075
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,598
There'’s a number of reasons.

1076
01:13:15,736 --> 01:13:16,909
It obviously helps me
psychologically

1077
01:13:17,047 --> 01:13:18,324
keep up with all the training.

1078
01:13:18,463 --> 01:13:19,843
- Mmm.
- Which is big.

1079
01:13:19,981 --> 01:13:22,881
And hopefully
keeps inspiring other people

1080
01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:25,055
to sort of push
their own boundaries.

1081
01:13:28,024 --> 01:13:31,821
Now it'’s sunk in from Nepal,
it'’s more doing things

1082
01:13:31,959 --> 01:13:35,894
that are, like, risky and hard
but not reckless.

1083
01:13:37,861 --> 01:13:39,276
Yeah.

1084
01:13:48,596 --> 01:13:50,011
Love you.

1085
01:14:07,132 --> 01:14:09,583
Rock climbing'’s not
an adrenaline sport.

1086
01:14:09,721 --> 01:14:12,378
It'’s not about
getting an adrenaline hit.

1087
01:14:12,517 --> 01:14:15,899
It'’s too painful
and too drawn-out for that.

1088
01:14:16,037 --> 01:14:19,524
There'’s unquestionably,
for me at least, a spiritual element.

1089
01:14:20,732 --> 01:14:22,285
It'’s no coincidence

1090
01:14:22,423 --> 01:14:24,321
that most of the best
climbing areas in the world

1091
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,531
are national parks.

1092
01:14:26,669 --> 01:14:31,190
These environments, these big
rocky features, are majestic.

1093
01:14:31,328 --> 01:14:33,779
They'’re... They'’re beautiful.

1094
01:14:33,917 --> 01:14:36,023
They'’re awesome places to...
to hang out.

1095
01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:41,338
Yeah, wow.

1096
01:14:46,136 --> 01:14:49,830
I have...
I still cannot contemplate

1097
01:14:49,968 --> 01:14:52,315
how the hell I'’m gonna end up
on top of that.

1098
01:14:52,453 --> 01:14:57,734
But I have complete faith
in the people I'’m with.

1099
01:14:57,872 --> 01:15:00,357
And Leo says it'’s possible.

1100
01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,981
Ed'’s gotta
get himself up there.

1101
01:15:03,119 --> 01:15:09,090
All I'’m gonna do is
minimise the risk. He'’s kind of on his own.

1102
01:15:09,228 --> 01:15:11,886
It'’s a real, like, knife-edge
ridge, so it'’s hyper-exposed.

1103
01:15:12,024 --> 01:15:14,682
It'’s like
the most scary environment.

1104
01:15:14,820 --> 01:15:18,444
But the challenge,
I think it'’s just about

1105
01:15:18,583 --> 01:15:20,895
the perfect level
for where he is now.

1106
01:15:21,033 --> 01:15:23,760
Being rubbish at something
and being around people who are great at it,

1107
01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:25,900
and every day my improvement
curve'’s like this,

1108
01:15:26,038 --> 01:15:28,696
I'’m learning so much.

1109
01:15:28,834 --> 01:15:32,597
That curve'’s never been
as steep since my accident.

1110
01:15:34,391 --> 01:15:36,290
I had to learn to walk again
and learn to...

1111
01:15:36,428 --> 01:15:39,845
Like, every day'’s a school day
at the moment.

1112
01:15:43,746 --> 01:15:46,680
So, it'’s 6 a.m.

1113
01:15:46,818 --> 01:15:49,614
The morning of climbing
that thing behind me.

1114
01:15:51,892 --> 01:15:53,514
I don'’t know.

1115
01:15:55,585 --> 01:15:57,104
Really excited. Adrenaline.

1116
01:15:57,242 --> 01:16:00,659
Like, I feel like
I'’ve got pre-match nerves.

1117
01:16:00,797 --> 01:16:04,732
It feels like that same feeling
like before a rugby match,

1118
01:16:04,870 --> 01:16:10,358
but almost more intense because
it'’s so much more unknown.

1119
01:16:10,496 --> 01:16:12,809
When I was gonna play rugby,
I knew it was gonna hurt.

1120
01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:17,158
God, I love it out here.

1121
01:16:25,442 --> 01:16:28,480
It wasn'’t like I broke my neck
and I was gonna be quadriplegic.

1122
01:16:28,618 --> 01:16:30,482
It wasn'’t like, "OK, now
I'’m just gonna crack on.

1123
01:16:30,620 --> 01:16:31,897
It'’s fine. I'’ll sort it out."

1124
01:16:32,035 --> 01:16:33,347
It wasn'’t. It'’s been a process.

1125
01:16:33,485 --> 01:16:35,798
It definitely has.

1126
01:16:35,936 --> 01:16:40,147
It'’s kind of realising
that you have to just focus on what you can do

1127
01:16:40,285 --> 01:16:41,804
and what is positive
in your life.

1128
01:16:41,942 --> 01:16:44,669
Because if you focus
on the negative side,

1129
01:16:44,807 --> 01:16:46,981
it'’ll eat you up.

1130
01:16:47,119 --> 01:16:48,638
Nice one.

1131
01:16:52,711 --> 01:16:54,540
I could still be
at the bottom of that pool.

1132
01:16:54,679 --> 01:16:57,371
You know, I'’m very lucky
that I didn'’t die.

1133
01:16:59,442 --> 01:17:03,066
I do get those flashes of,
"Oh, that'’s annoying" or "Ow, that hurts"

1134
01:17:03,204 --> 01:17:06,518
or "That takes a long time",
and I have those daily.

1135
01:17:06,656 --> 01:17:10,280
But... I mean, not just daily,
but almost hourly.

1136
01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:13,663
But that moment of frustration
is fleeting,

1137
01:17:13,801 --> 01:17:16,977
cos my brain almost
subconsciously reframes it to,

1138
01:17:17,115 --> 01:17:20,912
"No, come on, get on with it.
That'’s not gonna be helpful for you."

1139
01:17:22,707 --> 01:17:24,398
So this is where
we'’ll gear up.

1140
01:17:25,571 --> 01:17:28,816
Yeah. I think maybe
a little bit looser.

1141
01:17:28,954 --> 01:17:32,648
Just so that I can grab it
when it'’s further away. Yeah, that'’ll be good.

1142
01:17:32,786 --> 01:17:35,443
This is a way of me
being able to grab

1143
01:17:35,581 --> 01:17:37,894
and move my foot around
and place it on the rock.

1144
01:17:38,032 --> 01:17:39,793
Works in principle.

1145
01:17:45,212 --> 01:17:46,800
Ready?

1146
01:17:50,838 --> 01:17:53,530
-Obviously, there'’s
-Fuck.

1147
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:56,154
And a psychological
challenge. It'’s scary.

1148
01:17:56,292 --> 01:18:01,228
Everyone'’s scared of heights.
But there'’s also another element.

1149
01:18:01,366 --> 01:18:04,472
- Heart is going.
-Climbing is a cerebral challenge.

1150
01:18:04,610 --> 01:18:06,889
It'’s like a problem solving.
It'’s like a Rubik'’s Cube.

1151
01:18:07,027 --> 01:18:11,031
You have to figure out how to
use the tools at your disposal,

1152
01:18:11,169 --> 01:18:13,309
your fingers and your toes
and your appendages,

1153
01:18:13,447 --> 01:18:17,140
to overcome this challenge
of getting up the rock face.

1154
01:18:29,083 --> 01:18:31,568
It'’s a very deep thing.
It'’s very emotional.

1155
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,329
And there'’s
sort of a clarity to it

1156
01:18:33,467 --> 01:18:35,607
where you really
have to concentrate.

1157
01:18:35,745 --> 01:18:39,991
You really have to focus
on the task at hand.

1158
01:18:40,129 --> 01:18:42,579
So you have to be present
and in the moment.

1159
01:18:44,409 --> 01:18:47,723
So it'’s almost
like a form of meditation.

1160
01:19:01,909 --> 01:19:05,257
There'’s just nothing
to really hold on to.

1161
01:19:08,019 --> 01:19:11,056
Whoa... I slipped...

1162
01:19:13,265 --> 01:19:14,991
- OK.
- It'’s all right.

1163
01:19:15,129 --> 01:19:16,993
It'’s not like there'’s
a massive drop down there.

1164
01:19:18,305 --> 01:19:20,825
Yes! Good start.

1165
01:19:22,861 --> 01:19:25,726
That was the first course,
the starter. - ED: Yeah.

1166
01:19:25,864 --> 01:19:29,350
-This is the main meal.
- Yeah. No shit.

1167
01:19:29,488 --> 01:19:32,491
Keep it
really slack, yeah? - Yeah.

1168
01:19:44,745 --> 01:19:47,334
This bit'’s
gonna be difficult.

1169
01:19:47,472 --> 01:19:49,992
I'’ve got to try
and get my left leg over.

1170
01:19:50,130 --> 01:19:53,236
That'’s the leg
that doesn'’t like to work.

1171
01:19:55,860 --> 01:19:58,069
This is gonna be
quite tricky as well.

1172
01:19:59,829 --> 01:20:02,418
That'’s climber talk for, "You'’re
gonna have a really hard time."

1173
01:20:02,556 --> 01:20:06,215
Yeah, yeah, OK.
Quite tricky. Like it.

1174
01:20:13,774 --> 01:20:16,881
- Mmm. One sec.
-Pay attention.

1175
01:20:17,916 --> 01:20:19,193
Good?

1176
01:20:23,197 --> 01:20:27,961
A thousand-foot drop either
side. Looks pretty terrifying.

1177
01:20:29,652 --> 01:20:31,136
Honestly, my heart
is going like the clappers.

1178
01:20:31,274 --> 01:20:32,517
I don'’t know how long
I can keep this...

1179
01:20:32,655 --> 01:20:35,347
keep this adrenaline going.

1180
01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:42,389
Right, come on.
Come on, you got this.

1181
01:20:44,598 --> 01:20:46,531
Steady as she goes.

1182
01:20:50,328 --> 01:20:52,640
If my spinal cord injury
was complete,

1183
01:20:52,778 --> 01:20:55,367
which I thought it was,
which I was told it was,

1184
01:20:55,505 --> 01:20:59,785
then it wouldn'’t matter
how hard I would work, I would never be here.

1185
01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:02,202
Unless someone dropped me off
in a helicopter.

1186
01:21:04,273 --> 01:21:06,723
I would love to have shaken
the old Ed and been like,

1187
01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:11,728
"Do you realise how lucky
you are to just be alive?"

1188
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:16,802
I think that I'’ve replaced
a life with a better life.

1189
01:21:16,941 --> 01:21:18,218
Yeah, that seems to be working.

1190
01:21:22,601 --> 01:21:23,706
Let'’s put my...

1191
01:21:25,156 --> 01:21:27,227
-Claw jam.
- Claw jam. There it is.

1192
01:21:27,365 --> 01:21:30,816
- That'’s a unique climb.
- The claw, mate. The claw.

1193
01:21:30,955 --> 01:21:33,405
It'’s just where my right leg
goes to, that'’s the thing.

1194
01:21:33,543 --> 01:21:35,097
The footholds
aren'’t very good.

1195
01:21:35,235 --> 01:21:37,271
There'’s a really good handhold
up there, though.

1196
01:21:39,377 --> 01:21:43,968
Yeah. Gotta get the claw
out of the jam now.

1197
01:21:45,521 --> 01:21:47,972
Get out of there. OK.

1198
01:22:00,398 --> 01:22:03,711
Oh, I'’ve got a spasm
in that leg.

1199
01:22:03,849 --> 01:22:08,509
Start bending it.
And break the spasm.

1200
01:22:08,647 --> 01:22:11,892
OK. That'’s a tiny ledge.

1201
01:22:12,030 --> 01:22:14,688
Oh, I'’ve got
my right foot stuck.

1202
01:22:17,898 --> 01:22:21,626
Ah. Foot'’s stuck in the crack.

1203
01:22:21,764 --> 01:22:25,216
Right. Try something else.

1204
01:22:26,527 --> 01:22:28,046
Ooh, no...

1205
01:22:30,014 --> 01:22:32,257
I'’m not gonna be able
to get my left there, that'’s the problem.

1206
01:22:32,395 --> 01:22:37,297
Wait a minute. OK. Maybe
if I go with my left in there.

1207
01:22:37,435 --> 01:22:39,816
My left leg is now higher
than it'’s pretty much ever been,

1208
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:42,647
so I don'’t even know if I'’ll get
any traction on it, but...

1209
01:22:42,785 --> 01:22:45,615
- Is it on something?
- Yeah.

1210
01:22:45,753 --> 01:22:49,412
- Hopefully it'’s steady.
- Go for it.

1211
01:22:50,758 --> 01:22:51,967
Um...

1212
01:22:53,382 --> 01:22:56,730
You push down with that hand.
Yes! Yes!

1213
01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:04,255
Big holds coming up
for your hands.

1214
01:23:04,393 --> 01:23:06,429
Yeah, my foot slipped out,
though.

1215
01:23:06,567 --> 01:23:12,194
- Go high with your right hand.
- My left foot slipped out. Oh, yeah.

1216
01:23:12,332 --> 01:23:15,231
Yes! Yes! Get your knee on.

1217
01:23:16,819 --> 01:23:20,202
There you go. A bit higher.
That'’s it.

1218
01:23:24,896 --> 01:23:27,312
My God, I feel like
I'’m gonna have a heart attack.

1219
01:23:27,450 --> 01:23:29,280
Try not to.

1220
01:23:33,042 --> 01:23:35,113
Yeah.

1221
01:23:39,359 --> 01:23:41,361
You'’re nearly there.

1222
01:23:43,052 --> 01:23:44,916
Yeah, unclip now.

1223
01:23:54,650 --> 01:23:58,516
- Easy now.
- Phwoar.

1224
01:23:58,654 --> 01:24:01,381
Not sure
about the exposure, though.

1225
01:24:19,985 --> 01:24:23,161
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that'’s the top!

1226
01:24:23,299 --> 01:24:24,852
Oh...

1227
01:24:24,990 --> 01:24:28,994
Oh, my God. Yes!

1228
01:24:29,650 --> 01:24:30,927
Oh!

1229
01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:36,347
There you go.

1230
01:24:36,485 --> 01:24:41,731
That was... That was
one of the most intense experiences of my life.

1231
01:24:45,321 --> 01:24:47,565
- You did it.
- Thank you so much, mate.

1232
01:24:47,703 --> 01:24:51,224
You did it without...
You free climbed it.

1233
01:24:51,362 --> 01:24:55,297
That'’s gonna take a while
to sink in.

1234
01:24:55,435 --> 01:24:57,264
Yeah, who'’d have thought it
five years ago, eh?

1235
01:24:57,402 --> 01:24:59,680
Oh, mate.

1236
01:24:59,818 --> 01:25:04,858
- Yeah. Getting a bit emotional.
- So am I.

1237
01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:11,658
- Thank you, mate.
- No, it'’s such a pleasure to share it.

1238
01:25:15,972 --> 01:25:19,424
Mate, it'’s such
a beautiful place as well.

1239
01:25:19,562 --> 01:25:24,395
Yeah. Yeah. It'’s all too much
to take in, really.

1240
01:25:24,533 --> 01:25:28,192
Not just that, but, like, the
whole, "How am I stood up here?"

1241
01:25:30,194 --> 01:25:32,092
- Well done, Ed.
- Thanks, man.

1242
01:25:32,230 --> 01:25:34,819
You should be
very proud of that. - We made it.

1243
01:25:36,683 --> 01:25:41,205
What a summit it is. I cannot
believe what we just did.

1244
01:25:41,343 --> 01:25:43,690
Well, what I just did.
It was easy for Leo.

1245
01:25:56,979 --> 01:25:59,878
Everyone on that whole journey
that got me to that point,

1246
01:26:00,016 --> 01:26:04,676
my surgeon, my physios,
stood on top of that mountain looking out.

1247
01:26:04,814 --> 01:26:08,128
And I feel very grateful
to all of them, you know.

1248
01:26:08,266 --> 01:26:09,923
Been very lucky
to meet some amazing people

1249
01:26:10,061 --> 01:26:12,753
that have done some incredible
things for me and I just...

1250
01:26:12,891 --> 01:26:16,067
and it all seemed to culminate
in that terrifying moment.

1251
01:26:21,762 --> 01:26:24,248
I think that you do gather a whole new perspective

1252
01:26:24,386 --> 01:26:27,630
when you have gone through
a life-changing incident,

1253
01:26:27,768 --> 01:26:32,877
when you have nearly died,
and I can feel that from him.

1254
01:26:33,015 --> 01:26:36,846
And you know what? It'’s
contagious. He gives that off.

1255
01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:40,367
It'’s changed my perspective.

1256
01:26:42,162 --> 01:26:45,993
I definitely believe that
you can change your mindset

1257
01:26:46,131 --> 01:26:50,308
and live a happy,
positive life.

1258
01:26:50,446 --> 01:26:53,518
I would say I'’m living proof
that you can.

1259
01:26:57,488 --> 01:27:02,941
Most of our suffering
is dealt by ourselves, to ourselves.

1260
01:27:05,392 --> 01:27:09,431
I think, at the end of the day,
it comes down to an ability to let go,

1261
01:27:09,569 --> 01:27:13,745
because we can'’t change
what'’s happened to us,

1262
01:27:13,883 --> 01:27:16,748
so reliving it and replaying it
over and over again

1263
01:27:16,886 --> 01:27:20,683
and living in the past is just
causing us more hurt and pain.

1264
01:27:22,720 --> 01:27:24,894
And if we can stay
in the present moment,

1265
01:27:25,032 --> 01:27:29,830
not fear too much about the
future and just live our lives

1266
01:27:29,968 --> 01:27:33,800
like it'’s a gift to even
be there in the first place,

1267
01:27:33,938 --> 01:27:36,768
then that would alleviate
so much suffering.

1268
01:27:42,464 --> 01:27:45,363
You'’ve got two sticks.
You can'’t hold my hand.

1269
01:27:47,641 --> 01:27:49,712
I think
one of the best ways to do that

1270
01:27:49,850 --> 01:27:51,714
is to start doing things
for each other.

1271
01:27:51,852 --> 01:27:53,578
You know,
just be kind, be nice.

1272
01:27:53,716 --> 01:27:55,718
It doesn'’t...
It doesn'’t cost anything.

1273
01:27:55,856 --> 01:27:59,964
And those ripple effects
make such a big difference.

1274
01:28:12,010 --> 01:28:16,670
♪ Listen, babe,
ain'’t no mountain high Ain'’t no valley low ♪

1275
01:28:16,808 --> 01:28:20,467
♪ Ain'’t no river
wide enough, baby ♪

1276
01:28:20,605 --> 01:28:22,538
♪ If you need me, call ♪

1277
01:28:22,676 --> 01:28:26,473
♪ No matter where you are
No matter how far ♪

1278
01:28:26,611 --> 01:28:29,925
♪ Don'’t worry, baby
Just call my name ♪

1279
01:28:30,063 --> 01:28:33,653
♪ I'’ll be there in a hurry
You don'’t have to worry ♪

1280
01:28:33,791 --> 01:28:38,761
♪ Cos, baby, there ain'’t
no mountain high enough ♪

1281
01:28:38,899 --> 01:28:42,524
♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪

1282
01:28:42,662 --> 01:28:45,837
♪ Ain'’t no river wide enough ♪

1283
01:28:45,975 --> 01:28:48,323
♪ To keep me
from getting to you, babe ♪

1284
01:28:48,461 --> 01:28:53,707
♪ Cos you know that there ain'’t
no mountain high enough ♪

1285
01:28:53,845 --> 01:28:57,159
♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪

1286
01:28:57,297 --> 01:29:00,749
♪ Well, ain'’t no river
wide enough ♪

1287
01:29:00,887 --> 01:29:05,823
♪ To keep me
from getting to you, babe ♪

1288
01:29:05,961 --> 01:29:12,312
♪ Oh, no, darlin'’
No wind, no rain ♪