1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,116 [WIND HOWLING] 4 00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:06,618 ED: When I'’m up a mountain, I'’m not thinking about anything else. 5 00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:15,385 Life becomes very singular, and that is my break, and that'’s blissful, 6 00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:18,630 and I do feel really at peace and happy in those moments. 7 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,393 I do not matter on this earth. 8 00:01:23,531 --> 00:01:27,087 Like, that thing has been here, in comparison, forever, 9 00:01:27,225 --> 00:01:29,537 and will be here forever after me. 10 00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:31,884 I'’m basically just a speck of dust 11 00:01:32,022 --> 00:01:35,060 flying round the universe for a millisecond. 12 00:01:36,441 --> 00:01:38,408 So, be happy, spread love. 13 00:01:39,478 --> 00:01:40,755 Enjoy it. 14 00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:07,299 MAN: Are you feeling pretty fit at the moment, Ed? 15 00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:11,510 ED: What'’s been really interesting is, like, actually, over the last year, 16 00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:14,720 I seem to have got way more activation in my left leg. 17 00:02:14,858 --> 00:02:18,276 So I'’m just able to use it more. 18 00:02:21,348 --> 00:02:22,970 There'’s loads of different ways to describe this, 19 00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:25,490 because I'’m an incomplete quadriplegic. 20 00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,595 I'’m technically spastic hemiplegic, 21 00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:30,150 which means half of my body is different to the other half. 22 00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:38,434 My left side, I can'’t lift my leg up properly. 23 00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:44,164 On the right side, I don'’t feel pain or temperature. 24 00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:50,894 Hand doesn'’t work properly. 25 00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:52,275 It'’s just got enough to pinch-grip, 26 00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:53,863 which is actually really useful, 27 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,003 tying laces and all of those sorts of things. 28 00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:02,837 MAN: All right, high consequence, Ed, so... 29 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,288 You do know what I mean by "high consequence", don'’t you? 30 00:03:05,426 --> 00:03:07,117 ED: I know exactly what you mean. Potential death. 31 00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:08,740 MAN: Yeah, it'’s climber speak for, 32 00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:11,121 "Don'’t trip over now or you'’ll die." 33 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,543 Can you see where we'’re going? 34 00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,890 ED: Oh, my God. 35 00:03:22,374 --> 00:03:24,721 How the hell am I gonna get on top of that? 36 00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:27,448 - Well, we'’ll figure it out. - Wow, wow, wow. 37 00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:29,933 MAN: It'’s proper rock climbing, you know. 38 00:03:37,976 --> 00:03:40,185 The main things that affect my day-to-day life 39 00:03:40,323 --> 00:03:42,118 are bladder and bowel function. 40 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,293 They need to be managed regularly. 41 00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:48,676 When I need the toilet, I'’ve got, like, 90 seconds to find one. 42 00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:52,473 But when I'’m out and about, it means I have to wear, like, a bag, basically. 43 00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,855 Nobody knows, really, that that'’s going on. 44 00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:58,514 They just kind of see Ed limping and think, "Oh, that'’s really bad." 45 00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:02,311 But it'’s the underlying issues that you don'’t feel like you can talk about. 46 00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,830 They'’re unseen. 47 00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:08,213 VICAR: May they cherish the moments of their individual pasts... 48 00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:10,180 ED: I don'’t sweat from below the nipple line, 49 00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:11,975 which is quite a strange one. 50 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:14,771 I nearly fainted at my own wedding. 51 00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:17,118 I overheat really easily. 52 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,088 I have to be careful. I'’ve got the ability to cool myself down. 53 00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:24,850 ED: Lois, on the other hand, her investment strategy has to be questioned. 54 00:04:24,988 --> 00:04:26,335 [GUESTS LAUGHING] 55 00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:28,406 She went out with a professional sportsman, 56 00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:29,924 and now she'’s married to Mr Wobble. 57 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,996 LOIS: Aw! Never any other way. 58 00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:36,724 - But... - [GUESTS HECKLING] 59 00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:40,349 But, but, but, but... Mr Wobble loves you. 60 00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:42,523 - MAN: Yeah! - More than you will ever know. 61 00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:46,907 - GUESTS: Aw! - ED: And I am so proud to call you my wife. 62 00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:49,461 [GUESTS CHEERING] 63 00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:04,649 In a way it'’s sometimes easier for me to deal with because... 64 00:05:04,787 --> 00:05:05,788 I can'’t see it... 65 00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,514 you have to watch it... 66 00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:10,517 ...so it probably gets to you more. 67 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,692 I don'’t think that'’s it... 68 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:17,075 It'’s just been drilled into me that 69 00:05:17,213 --> 00:05:19,353 knees are not meant to go in... 70 00:05:20,596 --> 00:05:22,770 Tell me about it. 71 00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:24,979 I don'’t really have a choice. 72 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,397 Yeah, I know, why are you getting so aggy? 73 00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,779 Sorry. 74 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,268 I'’m trying to talk to you about it. 75 00:05:39,269 --> 00:05:41,479 My shoulders hurt every day... 76 00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:44,723 that'’s got nothing to do with my spinal cord injury. 77 00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,415 The last thing I want to do 78 00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,451 is completely under prepare for something 79 00:05:48,589 --> 00:05:51,143 and not be fit enough and let other people down, 80 00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:54,146 like this is harder than it should be... 81 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,598 so I need to do them to get fit enough... 82 00:05:57,736 --> 00:05:59,600 there'’s no way I'’m getting up Mont Buet like this. 83 00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:55,587 ♪ Ain'’t no mountain high enough ♪ 84 00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,002 [LOIS LAUGHS] 85 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:59,073 ♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪ 86 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,454 - We'’ve all gone mad. - MAN: Yeah. 87 00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:03,319 ♪ Ain'’t no river wide enough ♪ 88 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,873 ♪ To keep me from getting to the top of Buet ♪ 89 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:07,565 [LOIS WHOOPS] 90 00:07:07,703 --> 00:07:09,394 [CLIMBERS CHATTERING] 91 00:07:12,604 --> 00:07:14,813 Sorry. I just remembered we'’ve gotta walk back down. 92 00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:16,850 [ALL LAUGH] 93 00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:21,717 You know, for a long time, obviously, I didn'’t think I'’d be able 94 00:07:21,855 --> 00:07:26,100 to be places like this again, um... 95 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,171 Just remember to focus on the things 96 00:07:28,309 --> 00:07:30,898 in your life and about your life that are positive, 97 00:07:31,036 --> 00:07:35,385 and things you'’ve already got, not the stuff you haven'’t, um... 98 00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:38,527 Because it'’s too easy to just concentrate on negative stuff 99 00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:40,839 and what other people are doing, what other people have got, 100 00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,290 and you completely forget about how good your own lives are. 101 00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:46,327 So, it'’s been an amazing, positive experience for me, 102 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,986 and I hope everyone else can take something away from it as well. 103 00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:52,057 - MAN: A hundred percent. - ED: Love you, guys. 104 00:07:52,195 --> 00:07:54,888 [APPLAUSE] 105 00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,579 COMMENTATOR: He'’s a number eight who Lyn knows well. 106 00:07:56,717 --> 00:07:58,685 He coached him at London Welsh. Ed Jackson. 107 00:07:58,823 --> 00:07:59,996 Played at Wasps, 108 00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:01,308 a product of the Bath Academy, 109 00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:02,620 so lots of pedigree. 110 00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:03,828 He'’s an excellent ball carrier. 111 00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:05,554 Gets over the gain line. 112 00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:07,901 And also has good leadership qualities. 113 00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,835 ED: I was lucky enough to be 114 00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:13,320 a professional rugby player for ten years, 115 00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:16,461 which was a dream come true 116 00:08:16,599 --> 00:08:19,222 for a kid brought up in the West Country, 117 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,880 where it'’s very rugby heavy. 118 00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:24,331 COMMENTATOR: He'’s added a real bit of quality here, I feel, 119 00:08:24,469 --> 00:08:27,058 and it'’ll be great to see what he does with the ball tonight 120 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:30,544 off the back of his Man of the Match performance last week. 121 00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:33,133 ED: Played for the English Premiership and the Welsh Leagues. 122 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,342 It was a dream come true. 123 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,518 You'’re effectively doing PE for a living with your mates. 124 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:44,247 I would say I was probably at the peak of my career. 125 00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:47,388 COMMENTATOR: The referee has a close look. Ed Jackson is claiming it. 126 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,908 ED: I was playing for the Dragons in Wales, 127 00:08:50,046 --> 00:08:53,981 and I'’d just signed another two-year contract. 128 00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:57,433 COMMENTATOR: And he'’s got the try. The Dragons are back in it. 129 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,196 ED: Absolutely loving it, living in Cardiff. 130 00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,165 You think it'’s never gonna end. 131 00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:07,305 COMMENTATOR: One stand-out performance for the Dragons tonight 132 00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:09,169 was new signing Ed Jackson. 133 00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,240 Well done, Ed. Top performance in your home debut. Well done. 134 00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:12,897 Thank you very much. 135 00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:22,320 ED: I was 27. It was the first really hot day of the year. 136 00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:28,429 We went round to our parents'’ friends'’ house to use their pool. 137 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,949 And I took my T-shirt off, 138 00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:34,884 and I just remember turning round and walking to the end of the pool, 139 00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:37,128 looking and smiling at one of my friends at the other end, 140 00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,164 and I just jumped and dived in. 141 00:09:39,302 --> 00:09:42,098 [SPLASHING] 142 00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,069 What I thought was about six to eight feet deep 143 00:09:47,207 --> 00:09:51,314 turned out to only be about three feet deep. 144 00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:56,009 There was 18 stone of rugby player going through the top of my head. 145 00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:01,601 Then when I tried to stand up, that'’s when I realised something wasn'’t right. 146 00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:05,950 I couldn'’t move. 147 00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:08,780 I was underwater staring at the surface. 148 00:10:10,471 --> 00:10:12,991 Next thing I know, an arm grabbed me. 149 00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:16,029 Luckily, my dad was in the pool and one of my friends. 150 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:18,134 They pulled me to the surface. 151 00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:24,554 I had hit my head so hard that my neck had given way at the bottom. 152 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,420 The disc in between the two vertebrae had exploded 153 00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:32,183 and shards of the disc had lodged into my spinal cord, 154 00:10:32,321 --> 00:10:36,256 so I was rendered sort of completely paralysed from the shoulders down. 155 00:10:42,849 --> 00:10:47,301 My dad is a retired doctor. He knew I needed to be immobilised. 156 00:10:49,131 --> 00:10:51,823 I told everybody exactly what I wanted them to do, 157 00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:54,239 and I switched off the bit 158 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:57,587 that it was my son lying in the pool 159 00:10:57,726 --> 00:10:59,900 and just switched on the bit that said, 160 00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:02,523 "I'’m the only medical professional here." 161 00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:06,286 ED: The ambulance turned up. 162 00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:08,357 They floated the spinal board underneath me, 163 00:11:08,495 --> 00:11:12,257 picked me up and carried me, um, to the ambulance. 164 00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:17,815 MARK: Probably the luckiest thing that Edward had in his accident 165 00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:20,956 was that he stayed in the pool. 166 00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:25,788 So his neck never moved after that initial trauma. 167 00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:28,273 And then the rest of the day'’s a bit of a blur, to be honest. 168 00:11:28,411 --> 00:11:31,380 [STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE] 169 00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:41,459 ED: All of a sudden, there was lots of doctors around me, 170 00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:45,359 and people taking notes and talking quietly. 171 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,292 That'’s when it started to sink in. 172 00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:50,986 I remember Lois coming in. 173 00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:53,851 She wasn'’t actually there with me at the time. She was in Cardiff. 174 00:11:56,577 --> 00:11:59,132 LOIS: Got a phone call from Ed'’s stepmum. 175 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,654 I'’d just finished playing Super League netball over in Wales. 176 00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:08,244 She said, "He'’s fine. Just... 177 00:12:08,382 --> 00:12:11,178 You just need to get into the car and get to the hospital." 178 00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:17,426 My initial reaction was, "Oh, what an idiot. 179 00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:20,670 Like, I'’m sure he'’s just grazed himself and he'’s gonna be fine." 180 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,403 As soon as I looked into his eyes, 181 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:33,062 I just knew that it wasn'’t... was not good. 182 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,894 He looked so scared, and he was kind of shaking, trembling, 183 00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:38,861 and I felt like I was just in a movie. 184 00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:41,899 I just remember sort of saying sorry. 185 00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:43,624 And I didn'’t really know why I was saying sorry, 186 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,318 but I think I knew deep down why I was saying sorry. 187 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:50,804 Um... But, um... 188 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:57,949 Yeah, it was pretty... it was pretty scary. Yeah. 189 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,544 Oh, sorry. 190 00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,584 [SNIFFS] I don'’t think I'’ve sort of run through it in my head 191 00:13:12,722 --> 00:13:16,036 that detailed bef... as... 192 00:13:16,174 --> 00:13:17,727 You know, I'’ve told the story before, 193 00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,281 but I'’ve never really sort of 194 00:13:19,419 --> 00:13:21,559 emotionally connected with it like that. 195 00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:24,493 I remember just feeling really guilty at the time. 196 00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:27,841 I was just thinking like, "How could I have done that?" 197 00:13:27,979 --> 00:13:29,429 It was so stupid. 198 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:30,740 [SNIFFS] 199 00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:35,331 [STRETCHER WHEELS RATTLE] 200 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,612 I was straight back in an ambulance, going to Southmead Hospital in Bristol, 201 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:45,652 which is a neurological centre, cos they knew I needed an emergency operation. 202 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,483 I was like, "I'’ll just have a quick nap." 203 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:53,833 They were like, "No, don'’t do that. Stay awake, stay awake." 204 00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:55,938 MARK: What we didn'’t discover till later 205 00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:57,906 was that that journey took a long time 206 00:13:58,044 --> 00:14:01,357 because his heart kept stopping. 207 00:14:01,495 --> 00:14:06,155 They kept having to inject adrenaline to keep it going. 208 00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:10,642 Looking at his dad, I knew, cos he'’s, like, the strongest person, 209 00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:14,888 never gets emotional about anything, and he was just so silent. 210 00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:19,686 ED: I was very lucky that a surgeon called Mr Neil Barua, 211 00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:22,102 one of the leading neurosurgeons in the country, 212 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,070 is on call on a Saturday night. 213 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:27,452 The last thing I remember from him was him saying, 214 00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:30,248 "There is a chance you won'’t wake up from this operation." 215 00:14:30,386 --> 00:14:34,701 We always had a rule that you never contact us, 216 00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:36,496 or any of us, on holiday, ever. 217 00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,567 So if you know you'’re on holiday, no news is good news. 218 00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:43,572 And Lois rang, and she said, "It'’s Ed." 219 00:14:46,092 --> 00:14:48,404 ED: Woke up from the operation. 220 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:53,099 There was a lot of bleeping machines. There was tubes coming out of me. 221 00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:54,928 I was like, "This is a nightmare. 222 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,275 You know, they'’ve fixed me. I'’ll be fine." 223 00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:01,762 But then slowly I tried to move my left foot. 224 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,903 Nothing happened. Right foot. Nothing happened. 225 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:07,561 I was like, "OK, just... I'’ll be able to move my arms." But nothing. 226 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:11,496 I was just a head on a pillow, basically. 227 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,680 I went in to see him. 228 00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:24,820 Um... 229 00:15:29,411 --> 00:15:31,171 Hard, yeah. 230 00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:33,484 And I had to sort of man up every time I walked in the door. 231 00:15:33,622 --> 00:15:36,142 You'’d walk out and think... [EXHALES] 232 00:15:38,454 --> 00:15:41,216 When his friends came in, there was one in particular, Souto. 233 00:15:41,354 --> 00:15:45,323 I was with Ed, and Souto came in and just collapsed. 234 00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:48,499 And, you know, you could see Ed'’s face. 235 00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:51,674 After that, I actually took a photograph, 236 00:15:51,812 --> 00:15:54,056 and I said, "Right, this is what you'’re walking into." 237 00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:58,233 I said, "Look at this photograph." I said, "Please do not collapse." 238 00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:02,823 Cos most of them are really big softies. At the end the day, they are. 239 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:07,138 Anyway, they'’d just collapse in the waiting room and go, "OK." 240 00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:10,555 I said, "When you go in there, you walk in with a smile on your face 241 00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:15,146 and treat him as if he'’s, you know, just hurt something." 242 00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:16,423 And that'’s... It worked. 243 00:16:18,529 --> 00:16:22,326 ED: I flicked into "make everyone else feel all right". 244 00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:26,951 And that became a really good distraction for me during the day. 245 00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:30,437 Putting that act on was quite important for myself. 246 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,956 You embody it. 247 00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:37,134 But then at night, it was horrific. 248 00:16:37,272 --> 00:16:40,654 I was in a pretty dark place, mentally. 249 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,346 There was so much anxiety around 250 00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,313 was I ever gonna be able to walk again? 251 00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:46,143 Was I ever gonna be able to work again? 252 00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:48,179 Would I have to sell my house to pay for rehab? 253 00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:50,043 All of this stuff is just going through your mind 254 00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:53,253 when you don'’t have those people there to distract you. 255 00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:01,054 Many times I thought, you know, "I don'’t wanna be here any more" 256 00:17:01,192 --> 00:17:03,022 and "What does this mean for everyone else?" 257 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,232 And especially Lois. Um... 258 00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,613 I didn'’t want her to have to live with someone 259 00:17:08,751 --> 00:17:10,339 that couldn'’t look after themselves, 260 00:17:10,477 --> 00:17:13,342 and it'’s not what she sort of bought into and, um... 261 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,207 Fortunately I couldn'’t move enough to... to... to end it all, 262 00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:18,727 so I had to put up with where I was. 263 00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:21,902 He was trying to tell me to leave him, even at that point, 264 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:27,425 cos he was just like, "I'’m so sorry. You don'’t deserve this life." 265 00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:30,221 And I think, like, we'’d spoken so much about the future 266 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:34,398 in terms of, like, where we would wanna go and what we'’d wanna do, 267 00:17:34,536 --> 00:17:38,816 and it was always, like... really active things, 268 00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:42,820 so I think that was just, like, maybe gonna be taken away from us. 269 00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:48,653 As soon as I told him to shut up and that I wasn'’t gonna leave him, 270 00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:52,036 then that was kind of that conversation done. 271 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,112 The times when I really struggled were when I was on my own, 272 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:02,978 and it was like the drive back from the hospital or to the hospital. 273 00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:06,844 And that'’s when I'’d kind of break down, 274 00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:09,398 cos I didn'’t wanna do it in front of Ed. 275 00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:18,304 ED: The turning point for me was being told 276 00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,858 after nine days by the surgeon, 277 00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:24,068 "You'’re category ASIA A1, which is the highest level of spinal cord injury. 278 00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:26,622 The likelihood is you'’re never gonna walk again." 279 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,248 I remember looking down the bed and seeing Lois sat there. 280 00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:35,424 She had burst into tears. And my mum sat there, and she was in tears. 281 00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:38,910 I realised then that it wasn'’t about me. 282 00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:43,674 If I didn'’t have Lois and my mum there, 283 00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:48,057 or I didn'’t have people like that to get better for, 284 00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:50,681 then I wouldn'’t have found the motivation. 285 00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:52,821 I saw it in so many others. 286 00:18:54,271 --> 00:18:56,480 Some people had no visitors, 287 00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,206 and of course they just woke up every morning 288 00:18:58,344 --> 00:18:59,862 and just wanted to take as many drugs as possible 289 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,899 and forget about it. 290 00:19:02,037 --> 00:19:04,384 It was the thing that gave me the motivation 291 00:19:04,522 --> 00:19:08,043 to spend every waking minute trying to move something. 292 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:14,014 LOIS: Oh, my God, Ed, it'’s moving so much. 293 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,534 ED: And I just remember being like, "My toe'’s moving!" 294 00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,398 Then I was like, "I just need to keep moving it, 295 00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:19,917 cos I don'’t want it to stop moving." 296 00:19:20,055 --> 00:19:21,505 So I'’m there just focusing really hard. 297 00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:23,679 People are coming in. I'’m like, "Look!" 298 00:19:23,817 --> 00:19:26,406 I'’m not doing that, because I'’m laying flat on my back, 299 00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:29,720 staring at the ceiling. I'’m like, "Look at my toe." 300 00:19:29,858 --> 00:19:32,964 That showed that there was a connection past my injury, 301 00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:35,657 so all... all bets were off. 302 00:19:35,795 --> 00:19:38,522 As soon as he got that flicker in his toe, 303 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,489 he was like, "I'’m gonna walk again." 304 00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:45,287 And... And I was like, "Yeah. Yeah, you are." 305 00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:51,431 - [WOMAN LAUGHS] - LOIS: Hold Souto'’s hand. Hold his hand. 306 00:19:53,261 --> 00:19:55,263 - Even healthier than mine, bro. - [LAUGHTER] 307 00:19:55,401 --> 00:19:57,196 Mine are purple. 308 00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:59,025 - Yeah? - Yeah. 309 00:19:59,163 --> 00:20:01,821 [LOIS LAUGHS] 310 00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:03,650 - Not much has changed. - Fucking hell. 311 00:20:03,788 --> 00:20:05,790 [BIRD SCREECHES] 312 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,079 LOIS: Once out of there, we could start looking up, really, 313 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:24,292 and that'’s when the hard work kind of really kicked in. 314 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,915 We were like, "Right, when can we start? Like, we'’ll start..." 315 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:29,055 We were already moving his legs and his arms. 316 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:32,541 PHYSIO: One, two, three, push. Come on, boy. Push, push, push. 317 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,992 LOIS: When we met his physio, Pete, in the Bath hospital, 318 00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:37,960 and he actually took me aside and said, "We'’ll get him walking again", 319 00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:40,342 and then I was like "Right, let'’s do this." 320 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,518 PETE: Come on. And again, again. Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull... 321 00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:47,625 With Ed, we had somebody who was exceptional. 322 00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:51,388 Um, all patients are exceptional in a way. 323 00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:53,562 Pulling back. Good. 324 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:57,186 But with Ed, we had somebody with a sporting background, 325 00:20:57,325 --> 00:20:59,223 someone with a huge drive, 326 00:20:59,361 --> 00:21:02,985 and somebody who understood the benefits of exercise. 327 00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:05,091 Good. Ten! Come on... 328 00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:08,370 MARK: Pete Bishop-Ponte, who I think is quite remarkable, 329 00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:13,582 he'’s a great believer in intense physiotherapy for spinal cord injuries 330 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,067 in the very early stages of recovery. 331 00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:19,623 - All right, nice. - Nice. Really good, Ed. 332 00:21:20,865 --> 00:21:22,211 Yeah, that'’s nice. 333 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,179 PETE: Here we had a young man 334 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:27,872 that just needed someone to throw him a lifeline. 335 00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:31,876 Someone to say something positive. 336 00:21:32,014 --> 00:21:36,881 Someone to give him words based on fact 337 00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:41,748 that he could possibly work his way and train his way out of this. 338 00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:43,854 One, two, three, up. Good. 339 00:21:43,992 --> 00:21:45,994 He was exceptionally motivated. 340 00:21:46,132 --> 00:21:49,480 So we have a big gym in Salisbury 341 00:21:49,618 --> 00:21:54,623 and he and Lois were in there all hours of the day. 342 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:58,558 She was amazing. She was essentially his physio. 343 00:22:00,388 --> 00:22:04,150 The emotional bit is huge, actually. 344 00:22:04,288 --> 00:22:06,117 Having a great group of friends 345 00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:08,982 who'’ll still come in and take the piss out of you. 346 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,676 And a loving partner or wife or girlfriend. 347 00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:15,437 And just people there to support you 348 00:22:15,575 --> 00:22:19,096 and keep you motivated and keep you going. 349 00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:21,650 You can'’t even quantify it, really. 350 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,069 Four months later, in August, 351 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,555 Ed and his fiancée, Lois, 352 00:22:29,693 --> 00:22:31,557 came to see me in the clinic. 353 00:22:32,454 --> 00:22:34,145 And he walked in. 354 00:22:41,118 --> 00:22:43,741 He wanted a photo, cos he was doing a blog at the time, 355 00:22:43,879 --> 00:22:47,745 and it was quite embarrassing, cos I'’m only about five foot nine, 356 00:22:47,883 --> 00:22:52,232 and a lot of jokes were made about why he was stood next to a schoolboy. 357 00:23:13,322 --> 00:23:15,255 That was like the biggest turning point for him, 358 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,535 when he created the blog and put it out on his Instagram. 359 00:23:18,673 --> 00:23:20,468 He got so many messages back saying 360 00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:25,093 how much him sharing his story had helped them, 361 00:23:25,231 --> 00:23:29,235 and, actually, by him helping those people, he got so much reward back. 362 00:23:47,736 --> 00:23:50,290 That was the most powerful feeling, cos that was me realising 363 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,534 that actually some good can come from this situation, 364 00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:54,536 it doesn'’t just have to be negative. 365 00:24:12,381 --> 00:24:15,661 After nine months, I'’d moved home. 366 00:24:15,799 --> 00:24:17,283 And it was difficult. 367 00:24:17,421 --> 00:24:20,182 It was difficult to stay on top of the rehab. 368 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,909 I was living with my parents. 369 00:24:23,047 --> 00:24:25,878 In hospital you'’re in a bubble, but I was at home, 370 00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:29,537 and it was very obvious the things that I couldn'’t do any more 371 00:24:29,675 --> 00:24:32,056 that I could do before. 372 00:24:32,194 --> 00:24:35,543 SARAH: To start with, seeing him going up the stairs. 373 00:24:35,681 --> 00:24:38,891 Heart-breaking. Mmm. 374 00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:41,514 And especially if he'’s just walking around 375 00:24:41,652 --> 00:24:43,447 in his boxers or whatever. 376 00:24:43,585 --> 00:24:45,138 You know, he'’s always covered 377 00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:47,451 in bruises and bumps and scrapes. 378 00:24:47,589 --> 00:24:50,385 You know, black and blue from falling over. Mmm. 379 00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,145 Which you don'’t see. 380 00:24:54,113 --> 00:24:56,218 Our lives had been completely turned upside down. 381 00:24:56,356 --> 00:24:58,289 It just wasn'’t the same at all. 382 00:24:58,427 --> 00:25:02,328 We were, like, learning to get the wheelchair around the house. 383 00:25:02,466 --> 00:25:07,333 He was learning about bladder, bowel control, like, sexual function. 384 00:25:07,471 --> 00:25:11,786 There were so many new situations brewing 385 00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:14,927 that we had no idea, really, how to handle. 386 00:25:16,653 --> 00:25:19,518 I felt quite isolated and alone in my own head. 387 00:25:20,933 --> 00:25:23,176 I looked into his eyes and I loved him so much, 388 00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:26,145 but something wasn'’t right. 389 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:32,703 He'’d changed so much. 390 00:25:32,841 --> 00:25:37,570 His whole body, his movement and everything had changed. 391 00:25:37,708 --> 00:25:40,953 - Whoo! - LOIS: One of the biggest things, his smell had changed. 392 00:25:41,091 --> 00:25:43,956 I actually sometimes felt like I was cheating on Ed, 393 00:25:44,094 --> 00:25:45,923 pulling away when I was kissing him, 394 00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:49,617 cos he smelt differently to the Ed that I knew before. 395 00:25:51,722 --> 00:25:54,069 Of course, he'’s been through everything, 396 00:25:54,207 --> 00:25:58,177 and that'’s why I kept it so quiet, those thoughts, for so long. 397 00:25:58,315 --> 00:26:00,697 - [CHEERING] - [LAUGHS] 398 00:26:00,835 --> 00:26:02,181 LOIS: I went and got help. 399 00:26:02,319 --> 00:26:03,700 Don'’t speak too soon. 400 00:26:03,838 --> 00:26:06,461 And did some work with sexual therapy 401 00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:08,049 and had that conversation with Ed, 402 00:26:08,187 --> 00:26:10,258 which was probably the most brutal conversation 403 00:26:10,396 --> 00:26:11,949 I'’ve ever had in my life. 404 00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:15,366 It played on a massive insecurity of mine at the time. 405 00:26:15,504 --> 00:26:17,506 I had changed so much physically, 406 00:26:17,645 --> 00:26:19,094 and, whether I like it or not, 407 00:26:19,232 --> 00:26:21,234 I think a lot of my identity was wrapped up 408 00:26:21,372 --> 00:26:24,237 in my physicality and those types of things, 409 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,619 and being a man and, you know, being a rugby player 410 00:26:26,757 --> 00:26:28,483 and all of those things that go along with that. 411 00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:32,418 It was kind of the lens through which we discussed, you know, 412 00:26:32,556 --> 00:26:34,316 Lois struggling as well, basically. 413 00:26:34,454 --> 00:26:38,424 - Yeah. - And it opened up that conversation. 414 00:26:38,562 --> 00:26:40,944 And it was on more fronts than just, sort of, 415 00:26:41,082 --> 00:26:42,704 what was going on in the bedroom. 416 00:26:42,842 --> 00:26:44,464 I think when you go through something like that 417 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,397 with someone, 418 00:26:46,535 --> 00:26:48,952 it'’s either gonna break you or, like, make you. 419 00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:51,333 And you see that go one of two ways often. 420 00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:54,095 And you can understand why it would break a relationship. 421 00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:57,270 It nearly did for us, not because of anything... 422 00:26:57,408 --> 00:27:00,204 it didn'’t highlight any issues that we had in the first place, 423 00:27:00,342 --> 00:27:02,551 but it'’s just you don'’t want... 424 00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:07,315 you'’re living, you go off in different paths effectively, on paper, 425 00:27:07,453 --> 00:27:09,006 but, actually, if you stay together 426 00:27:09,144 --> 00:27:10,732 and you ride through something emotional like that, 427 00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:12,700 like so many couples have, 428 00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:15,012 then it makes you so strong to the point where 429 00:27:15,150 --> 00:27:19,327 you can'’t see yourself without them, 430 00:27:19,465 --> 00:27:22,330 because your new life has only existed with them. 431 00:27:22,468 --> 00:27:25,920 It'’s like being married from birth, in a way. 432 00:27:26,058 --> 00:27:28,094 - Which is a bit strange, I suppose. - That was a bit weird. 433 00:27:28,232 --> 00:27:29,855 - That was a bit of a weird thought. - Yeah. 434 00:27:29,993 --> 00:27:33,168 We realised that communication was gonna be key 435 00:27:33,306 --> 00:27:37,172 in order just to be, um, yeah, open and honest with each other. 436 00:27:37,310 --> 00:27:40,417 You can'’t move forward with the problems that you'’re facing 437 00:27:40,555 --> 00:27:45,491 unless you actually work on them together and are honest together. 438 00:27:45,629 --> 00:27:47,838 - Would you agree? - Yeah, massively. 439 00:27:47,976 --> 00:27:52,187 That'’s why I'’ve gone into specialising in relationship coaching, 440 00:27:52,325 --> 00:27:55,674 because I want to share that journey with other people. 441 00:27:55,812 --> 00:27:58,124 [WEIGHTS CLANGING] 442 00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:02,577 ED: It was another turning point along the road. 443 00:28:02,715 --> 00:28:05,200 I was so in the midst of trying to recover 444 00:28:05,338 --> 00:28:10,102 and trying to rediscover some purpose in my life and drive forward. 445 00:28:14,554 --> 00:28:17,040 I did go down a bit at that stage, I think. 446 00:28:21,976 --> 00:28:24,979 I knew I needed to put something in place, 447 00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:28,776 a challenge for myself, to motivate me. 448 00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:34,402 I wanted to send a message to everyone else who was in hospital 449 00:28:34,540 --> 00:28:38,130 that had also been told they can'’t do something 450 00:28:38,268 --> 00:28:40,408 that maybe that doesn'’t have to be the case. 451 00:28:40,546 --> 00:28:45,275 I said to my physios, "At the 12-month mark, I wanna climb Snowdon." 452 00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:49,451 And they were like, "Excuse me? What? Um, 12 months?" 453 00:28:49,589 --> 00:28:51,971 "What about 24 months? Maybe we'’ll give it a go." 454 00:28:52,109 --> 00:28:56,217 But I knew that if... even if I didn'’t get up there, 455 00:28:56,355 --> 00:28:57,943 even if I got 100 metres up there, 456 00:28:58,081 --> 00:28:59,461 people would see me on my feet, 457 00:29:00,808 --> 00:29:02,188 and it would send the message 458 00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,603 that maybe some of them needed to hear 459 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,536 to not give up hope. 460 00:29:35,739 --> 00:29:38,742 I'’d opened it up on social media to anyone who wanted to come and join in, 461 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,537 thinking a few people might turn up, 462 00:29:40,675 --> 00:29:42,884 and there were 70 people there on the start line 463 00:29:43,022 --> 00:29:43,989 who I didn'’t know. 464 00:29:44,127 --> 00:29:46,405 I mean, the first reaction was, 465 00:29:46,543 --> 00:29:48,614 "Oh, shit, I'’m gonna have to get to the top now." 466 00:29:48,752 --> 00:29:50,789 [CLIMBERS CHATTERING] 467 00:30:01,869 --> 00:30:05,493 LOIS: Snowdon was incredible. 468 00:30:05,631 --> 00:30:08,910 I was definitely there to support him the whole way. 469 00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:11,188 At times I actually felt quite disconnected from him, 470 00:30:11,326 --> 00:30:13,915 cos there were so many people around him, and physios, 471 00:30:14,053 --> 00:30:16,331 and everybody was worried about him falling over. 472 00:30:16,469 --> 00:30:18,609 So I think at one point he had to be like, 473 00:30:18,747 --> 00:30:20,232 "We'’ll walk the last bit together." 474 00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:22,372 CLIMBERS: Go on, Ed! 475 00:30:22,510 --> 00:30:24,753 [WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 476 00:30:26,790 --> 00:30:28,896 - Well done. - Yes! 477 00:30:30,449 --> 00:30:32,347 [CHEERING] 478 00:30:37,456 --> 00:30:39,113 ED: It'’s one of the hardest things I'’ve ever done, 479 00:30:39,251 --> 00:30:41,563 but I got to the top and just had this feeling 480 00:30:41,701 --> 00:30:47,086 that I'’d achieved something for the first time since my accident. 481 00:30:47,224 --> 00:30:48,639 There was all these other people 482 00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:50,331 that I was taking loads from, 483 00:30:50,469 --> 00:30:53,265 but also my own journey was benefitting them. 484 00:30:54,542 --> 00:30:57,096 I remember staring out and not knowing 485 00:30:57,234 --> 00:30:59,271 how my life would pan out but knew it wasn'’t gonna be 486 00:30:59,409 --> 00:31:01,860 in a conventional way, obviously, any more. 487 00:31:01,998 --> 00:31:04,655 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 488 00:31:06,830 --> 00:31:10,765 Some of the things I'’m starting to do is just rewriting the rulebook 489 00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,354 in my own head, and hopefully in other people'’s heads, 490 00:31:13,492 --> 00:31:15,183 of what is possible in life, you know, 491 00:31:15,321 --> 00:31:16,805 and what you'’re capable of. 492 00:31:16,944 --> 00:31:19,084 You don'’t know until you try. 493 00:31:47,595 --> 00:31:50,287 Finally here in the Himalayas. 494 00:31:50,425 --> 00:31:52,013 Always wanted to come here. 495 00:31:52,151 --> 00:31:56,328 And, as you can see, it'’s amazing. 496 00:31:56,466 --> 00:32:00,021 That'’s Annapurna behind us. 8,000 metres. 497 00:32:00,159 --> 00:32:02,437 Um, one of the highest mountains in the world. 498 00:32:02,575 --> 00:32:07,304 And it is true what they say, when you get near them... 499 00:32:09,099 --> 00:32:11,239 Just can'’t really describe... 500 00:32:11,377 --> 00:32:12,965 can'’t really describe it, really. 501 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,592 I remember being sat in a place called Ghandruk, 502 00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:23,493 and I was staring up at this 8,000-metre mountain. 503 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:30,465 And I'’d never felt so small in my life. 504 00:32:32,088 --> 00:32:33,744 My brain almost couldn'’t comprehend 505 00:32:33,882 --> 00:32:36,506 the size of the thing that was in front of me. 506 00:32:39,716 --> 00:32:43,099 I just felt completely, like, insignificant. 507 00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:47,655 It was an incredibly sort of liberating feeling. 508 00:32:52,556 --> 00:32:57,147 You know when students are like, "I went on my gap year and found myself"? 509 00:32:57,285 --> 00:32:59,494 Like, that actually happened to me. [LAUGHS] 510 00:33:01,358 --> 00:33:03,774 I felt ridiculous coming back and actually telling anyone about it. 511 00:33:03,912 --> 00:33:06,432 I think me and Lois almost kept it to ourselves. 512 00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:08,400 But that was the moment we said, 513 00:33:08,538 --> 00:33:10,367 "We wanna try and help people for the rest of our lives. 514 00:33:10,505 --> 00:33:13,094 We wanna try and make a difference." 515 00:33:13,232 --> 00:33:16,960 I remember going, "Right, let'’s drop everything and try and start a charity." 516 00:33:23,104 --> 00:33:26,763 We set up a foundation to take people with psychological or physical trauma 517 00:33:26,901 --> 00:33:29,283 away on these adventures. 518 00:33:30,870 --> 00:33:33,908 The real reason that I'’ve made the recovery I have 519 00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:36,186 is because of my support network, 520 00:33:36,324 --> 00:33:40,432 and I just wanted to pay that forward to other people. 521 00:33:40,570 --> 00:33:43,159 So people are sharing their experiences and their traumas, 522 00:33:43,297 --> 00:33:46,369 and realising that it'’s not just them going through it. 523 00:34:26,581 --> 00:34:29,343 [CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 524 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:37,558 PETE: I have seen Ed go from a frustrated rugby player 525 00:34:37,696 --> 00:34:40,147 with a spinal injury 526 00:34:40,285 --> 00:34:44,323 to a man with... much more spiritual 527 00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:48,672 and much more awareness of people around him 528 00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:52,262 and the environment around him. 529 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,057 ED: Do you feel like you'’re in a better place now? 530 00:34:54,195 --> 00:34:56,991 - WOMAN: A hundred percent. - Yeah. 531 00:34:57,854 --> 00:34:59,338 ED: Life'’s a journey anyway. 532 00:34:59,476 --> 00:35:00,822 Even if we didn'’t have anything that happened, 533 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,893 it'’d still be full of ups and downs. 534 00:35:03,031 --> 00:35:04,378 Sometimes they just get exaggerated a bit. 535 00:35:04,516 --> 00:35:06,449 WOMAN: Yes, exactly. 536 00:35:07,622 --> 00:35:09,831 Um, Benny boy. 537 00:35:10,832 --> 00:35:12,696 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 538 00:35:12,834 --> 00:35:16,459 ED: Ben'’s one of the beneficiaries of the charity. 539 00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:20,739 He was a paratrooper whose parachute didn'’t open. 540 00:35:22,982 --> 00:35:26,883 BEN: I joined 7th Parachute Regiment Royal Horse Artillery. 541 00:35:27,021 --> 00:35:32,475 This would have been my 15th military jump, I think it was. 542 00:35:32,613 --> 00:35:36,410 Uh, but I'’ve done about 65 civilian jumps beforehand. 543 00:35:39,067 --> 00:35:42,140 I remember being in the plane. 544 00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:46,627 I was the third... third man out of the door. 545 00:35:46,765 --> 00:35:49,423 And I remember... I remember jumping. 546 00:35:51,425 --> 00:35:58,017 I remember looking up, seeing what I thought was a fully opened parachute. 547 00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:59,881 I thought, "Right, look at the floor, see where I am." 548 00:36:00,019 --> 00:36:03,678 And as I looked at the floor, I hit it. 549 00:36:03,816 --> 00:36:09,753 And when I came to, I just remember laying there thinking, 550 00:36:09,891 --> 00:36:11,859 "That was a lot harder than I remembered." 551 00:36:14,620 --> 00:36:19,038 And I thought, "I need to catch my breath, I need to catch my breath." 552 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,765 And I thought, "I'’ve got another jump to do. 553 00:36:21,903 --> 00:36:25,252 I can'’t embarrass myself in front of the blokes. I need to get up." 554 00:36:25,390 --> 00:36:27,530 So I took my helmet off, 555 00:36:27,668 --> 00:36:31,430 and as I went to get up, the pain just shot through my body. 556 00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,501 And next thing I know, someone'’s grabbed my head. 557 00:36:36,677 --> 00:36:39,645 He was a medic, and he shouted out, "He'’s alive." 558 00:36:46,652 --> 00:36:49,068 And they worked out about 75 mile an hour I hit the floor at. 559 00:36:52,313 --> 00:36:54,626 Just a sheer unlucky accident. 560 00:36:57,111 --> 00:37:00,183 I have no sensation in my right leg. 561 00:37:00,321 --> 00:37:04,567 I have memory loss, severe back pain. 562 00:37:06,362 --> 00:37:08,226 I'’m on medication for the rest of my life. 563 00:37:09,951 --> 00:37:12,333 Someone filmed my jump at that time. 564 00:37:12,471 --> 00:37:14,887 I kept watching it and playing it back, thinking, 565 00:37:15,025 --> 00:37:17,442 "Where did I go wrong? What could I have done?" 566 00:37:20,514 --> 00:37:22,585 There was nothing I could have done, 567 00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:25,243 but I was doing it for nearly a year. 568 00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:30,558 I was diagnosed with PTSD, 569 00:37:30,696 --> 00:37:32,526 with the effects of not sleeping 570 00:37:32,664 --> 00:37:34,907 and watching the video over and over again. 571 00:37:36,495 --> 00:37:40,499 For me, it was failing. I feel like I failed. 572 00:37:40,637 --> 00:37:44,227 So throughout my life, I feel like I fail a lot of stuff. 573 00:37:46,678 --> 00:37:49,715 WOMAN: Meeting Ed has been really pinnacle 574 00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:53,995 in Ben'’s mental recovery probably, emotional recovery, 575 00:37:54,133 --> 00:37:58,206 because Ed has such a way of starting off deep conversations, 576 00:37:58,345 --> 00:38:00,588 and Ben'’s not had that before 577 00:38:00,726 --> 00:38:03,350 where he feels completely comfortable being so vulnerable. 578 00:38:03,488 --> 00:38:07,940 With me he will, but with somebody else. So it'’s nice for him to have that. 579 00:38:13,808 --> 00:38:16,328 ED: There'’s a saying, "The pendulum always swings." 580 00:38:16,466 --> 00:38:18,606 So it'’s not just that you'’ll get through it. 581 00:38:18,744 --> 00:38:21,057 Actually it will go back positive again as well. 582 00:38:21,195 --> 00:38:22,748 And it'’s just having that faith, right? 583 00:38:22,886 --> 00:38:25,475 When it goes negative, you can do something about it. 584 00:38:25,613 --> 00:38:28,513 But just always have the faith that it'’ll come back, 585 00:38:28,651 --> 00:38:30,756 come back the other way. 586 00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:32,965 Anyone else like to offer something up? 587 00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:36,141 The perspective that the walk, like, this has given us. 588 00:38:36,279 --> 00:38:38,350 And, like, being able to walk with all these different people 589 00:38:38,488 --> 00:38:40,387 and, like, make these meaningful connections. 590 00:38:40,525 --> 00:38:42,975 LOIS: An intensive bonding experience. 591 00:38:43,113 --> 00:38:45,392 ED: Whether you like it or not. Forced. 592 00:38:45,530 --> 00:38:49,913 I was in an accident in 2016, in a bus crash in France, 593 00:38:50,051 --> 00:38:56,299 and really struggled after that, developing PTSD and anxiety. 594 00:38:56,437 --> 00:38:58,405 One of the things that I think Ed does really well 595 00:38:58,543 --> 00:39:03,444 is his reframing and finding the enjoyment in life. 596 00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:06,447 ED: Cool people are people who completely own who they are, 597 00:39:06,585 --> 00:39:10,520 and whether that is you love drystone walls or War... 598 00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:13,592 - [LAUGHTER] - Or Warhammer. 599 00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:16,423 Understand who you are, what you enjoy, and then don'’t be embarrassed by that. 600 00:39:16,561 --> 00:39:19,495 Own it. You are capable of way more than you think, you know. 601 00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:22,290 We'’re too quick to be put into pigeon holes by society, 602 00:39:22,429 --> 00:39:24,223 by our friends, by ourselves. 603 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,087 But getting outside of that comfort zone, 604 00:39:26,225 --> 00:39:29,125 that'’s where the fun stuff is, and the growth is. 605 00:39:29,263 --> 00:39:31,679 WOMAN: It'’s nice to just interact with people 606 00:39:31,817 --> 00:39:35,303 who take the fact you'’re injured on face value, 607 00:39:35,442 --> 00:39:37,789 and it doesn'’t matter that you'’re looking a bit funny 608 00:39:37,927 --> 00:39:41,102 or wearing a leg brace or a bit wobbly. 609 00:39:42,828 --> 00:39:44,554 One thing I'’ve found since being injured 610 00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:48,006 is that an awful lot of elements of it are very lonely, 611 00:39:48,144 --> 00:39:51,527 and there'’s an awful lot that you have to do on your own. 612 00:39:51,665 --> 00:39:56,635 So in that aspect, I love it. It'’s really important. 613 00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,605 Have you swum yet? 614 00:40:00,743 --> 00:40:03,849 Yeah, the first time I swam was when I shat myself. 615 00:40:05,023 --> 00:40:06,265 I had to swim. 616 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,233 That was in Penzance Harbor. 617 00:40:09,337 --> 00:40:11,132 ISABEL: I'’ve got my spark back. 618 00:40:11,270 --> 00:40:14,619 [LAUGHS] I feel like they'’ve really given me that back. 619 00:40:14,757 --> 00:40:16,172 MAN: A quick pint now? 620 00:40:16,310 --> 00:40:18,657 LOIS: Yes, absolutely. Celebratory pint. 621 00:40:18,795 --> 00:40:21,798 [CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 622 00:40:25,250 --> 00:40:27,045 BEN: Cos I'’ve been accepted as a beneficiary, 623 00:40:27,183 --> 00:40:30,013 I get two or three years of life coaching from Lois. 624 00:40:30,151 --> 00:40:33,534 [CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER] 625 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:41,508 BEN: Hands down, one of the best things I'’ve had. 626 00:40:41,646 --> 00:40:45,304 Throughout my rehab, I get told what to do, 627 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,031 or "You need to do this", "You'’re feeling this." 628 00:40:48,169 --> 00:40:52,553 So Lois spoke to me and got the answers from me, 629 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,659 which was the first time, 630 00:40:54,797 --> 00:40:58,490 so, yeah, it was very, very helpful. 631 00:41:02,943 --> 00:41:05,117 LOIS: It'’s kind of a "pinch myself" moment 632 00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:09,052 that Ed and I have created this and that it'’s really working. 633 00:41:09,190 --> 00:41:12,780 And what'’s really exciting is that it'’s only the beginning, 634 00:41:12,918 --> 00:41:15,058 so, yeah, it'’s cool. 635 00:41:15,196 --> 00:41:16,853 [LAUGHS] 636 00:41:20,685 --> 00:41:22,376 LOIS: What if I put your foot down? 637 00:41:22,514 --> 00:41:24,482 No, no, no, no. No. 638 00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:28,140 I need to get in a better position. I don'’t know what... 639 00:41:30,971 --> 00:41:34,077 ED: It'’s not easy day-to-day living with a spinal cord injury. 640 00:41:34,215 --> 00:41:36,079 Fuck. 641 00:41:36,217 --> 00:41:38,703 I can'’t do all the things that I did before. 642 00:41:38,841 --> 00:41:40,359 That'’s better. 643 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,844 I'’ll never be able to play rugby again, 644 00:41:41,982 --> 00:41:43,846 or run around with my kids, or... 645 00:41:43,984 --> 00:41:46,296 not go out without a catheter bag on, 646 00:41:46,434 --> 00:41:48,298 or use my left hand. 647 00:41:48,436 --> 00:41:50,853 - OK, I'’ll put a cushion there. - Wait. Let me roll. 648 00:41:50,991 --> 00:41:53,165 - Are you sure? Just stay there. - See if I can roll on my back. 649 00:41:53,303 --> 00:41:55,340 - Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 650 00:41:55,478 --> 00:41:57,342 ED: Probably one of those things, I would have thought 651 00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,137 that that would have broken me, you know. 652 00:41:59,275 --> 00:42:01,035 No, actually. Fuck. 653 00:42:01,173 --> 00:42:04,073 But, actually, it'’s just... 654 00:42:04,211 --> 00:42:08,456 The perspective piece is the most important. 655 00:42:08,595 --> 00:42:11,494 Helping others helps you massively. 656 00:42:11,632 --> 00:42:14,117 It'’s such a shortcut to making yourself feel better, 657 00:42:14,255 --> 00:42:16,223 and I think we'’re set up like that as humans. 658 00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:24,542 BEN: Ed phoned me saying that he would like me to go to Nepal with him. 659 00:42:29,581 --> 00:42:33,551 And I can remember, I burst into tears straightaway. 660 00:42:33,689 --> 00:42:37,002 I was so happy. Yeah, I thought, "Oh, this is like a..." 661 00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:38,694 I needed a new challenge, or a goal. 662 00:42:38,832 --> 00:42:40,454 I didn'’t have anything, so I felt like 663 00:42:40,592 --> 00:42:42,525 I wasn'’t going anywhere. 664 00:42:51,051 --> 00:42:53,363 ED: There wasn'’t supposed to be a beneficiary on this trip. 665 00:42:53,501 --> 00:42:54,986 It was one of my challenges 666 00:42:55,124 --> 00:42:57,782 in terms of trying to get to a new height. 667 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,853 But getting to know Ben, 668 00:42:59,991 --> 00:43:04,202 I realised that he was on a very similar journey to me. 669 00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,998 He'’s an ex-paratrooper, seriously fit. 670 00:43:08,413 --> 00:43:10,691 Hopefully he can start to put things in place 671 00:43:10,829 --> 00:43:14,730 to find some purpose again and go down a path he wants to. 672 00:43:16,559 --> 00:43:18,665 I know that my body'’s only got a certain shelf life, 673 00:43:18,803 --> 00:43:20,425 and it might mean that it all ends at 40, 674 00:43:20,563 --> 00:43:24,602 but I'’m terrified of becoming stagnant. 675 00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:30,573 [HORNS BEEPING] 676 00:43:34,370 --> 00:43:35,992 Kathmandu is Kathmandu. 677 00:43:36,130 --> 00:43:38,512 You'’re hit by a completely different culture, 678 00:43:38,650 --> 00:43:39,720 which is amazing. 679 00:43:39,858 --> 00:43:42,412 The sounds, the smells. 680 00:43:42,550 --> 00:43:44,552 So there was this mad scramble on social media 681 00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,658 to try and find a videographer. 682 00:43:46,796 --> 00:43:49,696 - A thousand rupees. - And Beetle was really enthusiastic. 683 00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:51,801 So that'’s how he ended up on the trip with us. 684 00:43:51,939 --> 00:43:54,010 - Let'’s get some face paint on. - Happy Holi! 685 00:43:54,148 --> 00:43:56,219 ED: Arron'’s a big strong guy, he'’s very fit, 686 00:43:56,357 --> 00:43:58,187 and very experienced in those environments. 687 00:43:58,325 --> 00:44:01,121 - MAN: Happy Holi! - ED: Happy Holi! 688 00:44:01,259 --> 00:44:05,194 ED: He also does breath work sessions and qigong. 689 00:44:05,332 --> 00:44:09,025 He'’s a great friend of mine and a great ally of the charity as well. 690 00:44:10,061 --> 00:44:11,407 Look at this. 691 00:44:11,545 --> 00:44:13,409 Before I left, Evie pulled me to one side 692 00:44:13,547 --> 00:44:16,170 and said she'’d got something to tell me. 693 00:44:16,308 --> 00:44:19,898 I immediately thought it was bad news. 694 00:44:20,036 --> 00:44:22,625 And she told me, uh, she was pregnant. 695 00:44:22,763 --> 00:44:25,076 I spent the whole three weeks thinking of baby names, really. 696 00:44:25,214 --> 00:44:27,216 [LAUGHS] 697 00:44:34,637 --> 00:44:36,535 ED: We headed into the mountains, 698 00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:39,262 and I remember just being like, "Yes, here we go." 699 00:44:41,126 --> 00:44:42,749 Beautiful out here. 700 00:44:46,373 --> 00:44:52,551 ED: Then we were off-grid, and it was a bit of a daunting feeling, 701 00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:56,901 because it'’s not something we get to do very often in the Western world. 702 00:44:57,039 --> 00:45:01,733 Not speaking to Lois for a long time would be very difficult. 703 00:45:04,253 --> 00:45:09,879 We started heading up this valley, and it was our first really challenging day. 704 00:45:12,537 --> 00:45:16,506 To become the first person ever to go to over 7,000 metres 705 00:45:16,644 --> 00:45:18,785 with my type of injury is incredible, 706 00:45:18,923 --> 00:45:24,618 but to be able to do it with Ben is even more powerful. 707 00:45:30,175 --> 00:45:31,418 There it is. 708 00:45:36,803 --> 00:45:38,252 Himlung Himal. 709 00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:47,261 Himlung appeared in all its glory in front of us, 710 00:45:47,399 --> 00:45:53,992 and there'’s this overwhelming feeling of isolation, in a beautiful way. 711 00:46:04,831 --> 00:46:06,315 Ah! 712 00:46:06,453 --> 00:46:08,386 Welcome to the Base Camp, guys! 713 00:46:08,524 --> 00:46:10,353 Yes, mate. 714 00:46:10,491 --> 00:46:11,941 Welcome to the Base Camp. 715 00:46:12,079 --> 00:46:13,909 It'’s so cool. 716 00:46:16,428 --> 00:46:19,121 BEN: Having no phone signal 717 00:46:19,259 --> 00:46:23,608 was one of the best things I'’ve ever done. 718 00:46:24,989 --> 00:46:26,645 If you wanted to be on your own, 719 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,200 you could just be on your own in your own head. 720 00:46:29,338 --> 00:46:30,718 It helped massively. 721 00:46:32,755 --> 00:46:35,516 ED: It'’s amazing when you'’re in spaces like that and you have no distraction, 722 00:46:35,654 --> 00:46:37,346 and you contemplate your place in the world 723 00:46:37,484 --> 00:46:40,004 and realise how small and, in a weird way, 724 00:46:40,142 --> 00:46:41,522 humble and insignificant you are, 725 00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:44,077 it'’s an immensely freeing feeling. 726 00:46:46,251 --> 00:46:48,081 Nothing really matters, 727 00:46:48,219 --> 00:46:51,636 not the way you think it does, especially not you. 728 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:05,788 That'’s the most poignant thing 729 00:47:05,926 --> 00:47:08,687 about being in the high mountains for me, 730 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:12,346 how it changes me, not physically but emotionally, when I come back, 731 00:47:12,484 --> 00:47:14,797 and gives me so much more clarity. 732 00:47:16,868 --> 00:47:21,321 A little pre-lunch hike with Benny boy. 733 00:47:22,770 --> 00:47:25,118 Air'’s so thin up here. 734 00:47:25,256 --> 00:47:29,708 It must be about, well, well over 5,000 metres up here. 735 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:33,264 But look at this. That is wild. 736 00:47:34,955 --> 00:47:36,923 There'’s Himlung in the back there. 737 00:47:38,579 --> 00:47:42,031 Camp One'’s up there. So, Base Camp, Camp One, Camp Two. 738 00:47:42,169 --> 00:47:48,382 Three-day climb to get from 4,900 to 7,126. 739 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,832 Beautiful. 740 00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:52,973 BEN: When I set my mind to something, 741 00:47:53,111 --> 00:47:56,494 I have to complete it before I move on to anything else. 742 00:47:56,632 --> 00:48:00,601 Once I got Nepal in my head, there was no going back. 743 00:48:00,739 --> 00:48:02,086 Pumped, Benny? 744 00:48:02,224 --> 00:48:04,122 Pumped, I'’m really excited. 745 00:48:18,861 --> 00:48:23,072 BEN: After the accident, I started to feel suicidal. 746 00:48:24,625 --> 00:48:27,145 And I closed my eyes whilst I was driving. 747 00:48:27,283 --> 00:48:30,942 I got to a real low point and I thought, "I'’m done." 748 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,703 If it wasn'’t for my family and my close friends, 749 00:48:33,841 --> 00:48:35,636 it'’d have been probably a different story. 750 00:48:42,264 --> 00:48:45,543 During my school life, I was bullied. 751 00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,928 People always told me I couldn'’t do something. 752 00:48:54,690 --> 00:48:57,382 Again, since my accident, um, 753 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,247 people have been telling me I can'’t do stuff. 754 00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:08,359 And I wanna prove '’em wrong. Um... 755 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:13,398 Up until the day I left for this trip, 756 00:49:13,536 --> 00:49:16,643 people have been putting barriers up, walls up. 757 00:49:16,781 --> 00:49:18,886 "You can'’t do this. You shouldn'’t do this. 758 00:49:19,025 --> 00:49:21,406 You'’re gonna cause yourself more damage." 759 00:49:23,132 --> 00:49:28,137 But why not? If I can do it, I can do it now. 760 00:49:28,275 --> 00:49:31,658 Who knows? Later on in life, I won'’t be able to do these things. 761 00:49:33,487 --> 00:49:37,008 I wanna prove people wrong. I love proving people wrong. 762 00:49:37,146 --> 00:49:41,564 And I also want to show other people that they can do it too. 763 00:49:44,843 --> 00:49:47,812 [BELL RINGS] 764 00:49:54,060 --> 00:49:58,443 ED: We had to cross this glacier that was covered by boulders. 765 00:50:00,273 --> 00:50:02,930 And because no one had been there for two years, 766 00:50:03,069 --> 00:50:04,587 everything had moved. 767 00:50:06,589 --> 00:50:08,281 Everything was loose. 768 00:50:10,455 --> 00:50:15,529 And a boulder field is like my worst nightmare when you'’re unstable. 769 00:50:18,118 --> 00:50:20,051 And for Ben as well. 770 00:50:20,189 --> 00:50:21,604 Oh, oh! 771 00:50:21,742 --> 00:50:22,916 - Do you wanna grab that? - Move to the right. 772 00:50:23,054 --> 00:50:24,711 Step quickly... 773 00:50:26,609 --> 00:50:29,302 - [INDISTINCT] - Oh, oh! 774 00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,373 - Yeah, boy. - [INDISTINCT] 775 00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,825 ED: The level of concentration had to be so high. 776 00:50:37,586 --> 00:50:40,692 Our disabilities or our physical limitations, really, 777 00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:43,799 sort of become more obvious. 778 00:50:43,937 --> 00:50:47,561 OK, OK, OK, OK. No, no, no. Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop. 779 00:50:47,699 --> 00:50:49,287 It'’s OK. It'’s OK. 780 00:50:49,425 --> 00:50:51,634 And became more obvious to the guides as well. 781 00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:54,258 They'’re thinking at that point, "How the hell are these guys 782 00:50:54,396 --> 00:50:58,434 gonna even get ten metres over there, never mind up this mountain?" 783 00:51:01,299 --> 00:51:03,543 [LABOURED BREATHING] 784 00:51:03,681 --> 00:51:07,616 BEN: You really started to feel the effects of the altitude with breathing. 785 00:51:07,754 --> 00:51:09,618 You take three steps and you'’re out of breath. 786 00:51:09,756 --> 00:51:12,690 So there'’s a lot of silent walking. 787 00:51:16,211 --> 00:51:20,111 I taught myself to block any negativity. 788 00:51:20,249 --> 00:51:22,665 On the stick and down. 789 00:51:27,532 --> 00:51:33,469 BEN: I can'’t feel my right leg, so I had to be looking on the ground constantly. 790 00:51:33,607 --> 00:51:34,436 You all right? 791 00:51:34,574 --> 00:51:35,299 BEN: It was hard. 792 00:51:35,437 --> 00:51:36,990 This is ridiculous. 793 00:51:41,167 --> 00:51:43,479 ED: Just mentally the whole time he'’s been talking about the summit. 794 00:51:43,617 --> 00:51:45,861 Yeah, he talks a lot about it, he'’s got a point to prove to people 795 00:51:45,999 --> 00:51:48,346 and he wants to prove people wrong, but we'’re in the mountains, 796 00:51:48,484 --> 00:51:50,935 so it doesn'’t matter who you are, 797 00:51:51,073 --> 00:51:53,179 if she decides to not let us get to the top, 798 00:51:53,317 --> 00:51:55,560 then we won'’t get to the top. 799 00:52:00,669 --> 00:52:04,397 I just worry where his head will be 800 00:52:04,535 --> 00:52:05,984 if he doesn'’t make it to the top. 801 00:52:11,197 --> 00:52:13,130 He'’s pushing himself so hard. 802 00:52:13,268 --> 00:52:15,339 And he'’s just going, "Yeah, I'’m fine, I'’m fine", 803 00:52:15,477 --> 00:52:17,375 when clearly he'’s not. 804 00:52:18,997 --> 00:52:20,999 He'’s really grappling with the frustration 805 00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,416 of not being the person he was before. 806 00:52:25,176 --> 00:52:27,903 And it'’s hard to let go of that person. 807 00:52:29,284 --> 00:52:32,873 BEETLE: How are you finding this terrain, Ben? 808 00:52:33,011 --> 00:52:37,223 [BEN LAUGHS] Does that answer your question? 809 00:52:41,537 --> 00:52:43,815 BIGRAJ: Very, very, very difficult. 810 00:52:45,955 --> 00:52:50,788 Horrible day. So I would say this is horrible day. 811 00:52:53,446 --> 00:52:59,521 Very risky. So... very scary for everyone. 812 00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:11,395 ED: Probably the most mentally draining day of my life. 813 00:53:27,928 --> 00:53:32,070 At Camp One, you can, like, look down on the glacier. 814 00:53:34,314 --> 00:53:38,491 And it was just the most incredible place to camp. 815 00:53:41,632 --> 00:53:44,428 It was amazing. We'’d bonded really tightly by that point. 816 00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:48,501 Especially with the guides and the Nepali team. 817 00:53:48,639 --> 00:53:51,193 We woke up early, and that was it, 818 00:53:51,331 --> 00:53:53,091 we were up towards Camp Two. 819 00:53:58,442 --> 00:54:00,306 The first time we'’d put boots and crampons on, 820 00:54:00,444 --> 00:54:02,446 which makes it much more real, 821 00:54:02,584 --> 00:54:05,242 and we head off into the crevasse field. 822 00:54:06,070 --> 00:54:07,485 Back, back, back, back. 823 00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:09,591 - Back, back? - Yeah. 824 00:54:09,729 --> 00:54:11,800 ED: So I was stood on the edge of this crevasse 825 00:54:11,938 --> 00:54:14,354 knowing that there'’s a good chance I could end up 826 00:54:14,492 --> 00:54:16,356 falling into the crevasse. 827 00:54:16,494 --> 00:54:20,015 - I'’m gonna go with my right leg. Ready? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 828 00:54:20,153 --> 00:54:21,672 One... 829 00:54:21,810 --> 00:54:23,605 Good, good, good, good! 830 00:54:24,985 --> 00:54:27,091 And just about make it over. 831 00:54:27,229 --> 00:54:30,336 And that was within five minutes of getting on the glacier 832 00:54:30,474 --> 00:54:34,029 and was kind of a sign of things to come. 833 00:54:37,895 --> 00:54:41,001 Ben was finding it a lot harder than the rest of us. 834 00:54:41,139 --> 00:54:45,316 And he was just pushing and pushing and pushing. 835 00:54:45,454 --> 00:54:46,869 I was worried for him. 836 00:54:47,007 --> 00:54:49,320 We'’re likely to get altitude sickness, 837 00:54:49,458 --> 00:54:51,288 so let'’s just slow it down. 838 00:54:51,426 --> 00:54:52,772 Go at a pace that'’s comfortable for you. 839 00:54:52,910 --> 00:54:55,292 We'’re all more than happy to have a rest, 840 00:54:55,430 --> 00:54:57,294 trust me. 841 00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:11,238 BEN: My leg suddenly stopped working. 842 00:55:14,069 --> 00:55:18,729 I was more angry at myself that my leg wasn'’t working. 843 00:55:20,144 --> 00:55:22,319 Really started to annoy me. 844 00:55:25,908 --> 00:55:27,772 Got nothing... 845 00:55:34,192 --> 00:55:37,437 Without this. Let'’s do it. 846 00:55:49,553 --> 00:55:52,763 Oh, come on. Get a grip. 847 00:55:55,904 --> 00:55:57,699 Feel like a turtle. 848 00:56:08,951 --> 00:56:11,644 [COUGHING] 849 00:56:11,782 --> 00:56:13,922 ED: Yeah? 850 00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:21,516 ED: I mean, I was an absolute wreck as well. 851 00:56:21,654 --> 00:56:24,519 It was knee-deep snow most of the time, 852 00:56:24,657 --> 00:56:25,796 and it'’s one step at a time. 853 00:56:25,934 --> 00:56:27,556 And at that altitude, 854 00:56:27,694 --> 00:56:29,800 you'’ve got hardly any oxygen. 855 00:56:30,835 --> 00:56:32,147 Look at that, every step... 856 00:56:32,285 --> 00:56:33,804 every single step. 857 00:56:44,608 --> 00:56:48,646 And we'’ve got to leave in seven hours time... 858 00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:51,166 ...to climb to the top of that. 859 00:56:51,304 --> 00:56:55,584 I think I was just, like, I don'’t know how I'’m gonna get up at ten o'’clock 860 00:56:55,722 --> 00:56:56,654 and keep moving. 861 00:56:56,792 --> 00:56:58,898 It'’s so hard. 862 00:57:02,971 --> 00:57:04,455 Just what I need. 863 00:57:04,593 --> 00:57:06,388 I need a Jacko hug. 864 00:57:09,978 --> 00:57:10,944 Well done, boy. 865 00:57:11,082 --> 00:57:12,532 The Nepali guides, 866 00:57:12,670 --> 00:57:14,603 they can skip across the top of it. 867 00:57:14,741 --> 00:57:17,226 Every step, even though I was in their footprints, 868 00:57:17,364 --> 00:57:18,504 that bit lower, 869 00:57:18,642 --> 00:57:21,783 and then no hip flexor to lift out of it. 870 00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:25,200 Yeah, I was swearing at my feet quite a bit. 871 00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:27,340 - Yeah, I had a meltdown. - Yeah, me too, mate. 872 00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:30,205 I had a meltdown as well, don'’t worry. 873 00:57:31,586 --> 00:57:33,967 - Night-night. - Good night. 874 00:57:39,352 --> 00:57:42,010 LOIS: Hello, Eddie, babes. Um... 875 00:57:42,148 --> 00:57:47,705 I just wanted to wish you a huge, huge good luck climbing Himlung. 876 00:57:47,843 --> 00:57:52,745 Barry and I believe that you will get to the top of this mountain. 877 00:57:52,883 --> 00:57:56,369 No? [LAUGHS] 878 00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,888 But, in all seriousness, 879 00:57:58,026 --> 00:57:58,992 it doesn'’t matter to me 880 00:57:59,130 --> 00:58:00,304 if you make it to the top. 881 00:58:00,442 --> 00:58:02,720 I am unbelievably proud 882 00:58:02,858 --> 00:58:04,446 to call you my husband. 883 00:58:04,584 --> 00:58:07,449 I'’m so excited for our future together. 884 00:58:07,587 --> 00:58:11,902 And I just can'’t wait to get you back down the mountain and into my arms. 885 00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:13,144 I love you so much. 886 00:58:13,282 --> 00:58:14,836 EVIE: Hi, babe. 887 00:58:14,974 --> 00:58:16,872 Hope you'’re OK and staying safe and warm. 888 00:58:17,010 --> 00:58:23,603 I know that your determination/stubbornness, 889 00:58:23,741 --> 00:58:27,365 um, and your strength and your resilience is a part of you, 890 00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:31,024 and that'’s partly why I love you so much, um, 891 00:58:31,162 --> 00:58:33,510 and I know that that'’s what will get you up the mountain, 892 00:58:33,648 --> 00:58:38,066 but I just want you to remember that there'’s so much more to you than that. 893 00:58:38,204 --> 00:58:41,863 So whatever happens, you'’ve done an amazing, amazing thing. 894 00:58:42,001 --> 00:58:45,625 I really, really love you and I really miss you. 895 00:58:45,763 --> 00:58:49,318 And I can'’t wait to see you when you get back. 896 00:59:00,916 --> 00:59:05,369 ED: I am exhausted. Got just over a thousand metres left. 897 00:59:05,507 --> 00:59:11,237 I have no idea how this is gonna go. Ben, absolutely smashing it. 898 00:59:11,375 --> 00:59:15,482 Struggling too, but so proud of him. 899 00:59:17,519 --> 00:59:19,763 - Boss. - ED: Thank you, Khajou. 900 00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:21,592 We'’ve stepped out of our tents 901 00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:25,941 into the most incredible sky lit up with stars. 902 00:59:28,841 --> 00:59:30,981 We wanted to go across the crevasse field 903 00:59:31,119 --> 00:59:33,190 through the coldness of the night. 904 00:59:33,328 --> 00:59:37,539 The ice is more stable. It'’s much easier for Ed to walk across. 905 00:59:37,677 --> 00:59:41,163 I got up and I just threw up everywhere. 906 00:59:41,301 --> 00:59:44,063 Beetle came out and said, "Ben'’s not well." 907 00:59:44,201 --> 00:59:46,583 And he had had altitude sickness through the night. 908 00:59:46,721 --> 00:59:48,792 Raveen will take him all the way down to Base Camp. 909 00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:50,241 - ED: OK. - Base Camp. 910 00:59:50,379 --> 00:59:52,381 I think better to go all the way down. 911 00:59:52,519 --> 00:59:55,246 ARRON: If you push on with that, and you'’re being sick, 912 00:59:55,384 --> 00:59:57,732 it'’s life or death, really. 913 00:59:57,870 --> 01:00:02,115 That voice of failure started creeping back in again. 914 01:00:02,253 --> 01:00:05,463 But I'’d prepared myself for it. 915 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,983 I did a lot of work beforehand of 916 01:00:08,121 --> 01:00:10,503 I can'’t control the altitude sickness, couldn'’t control the weather, 917 01:00:10,641 --> 01:00:12,712 so if the weather changed, then we couldn'’t get there. 918 01:00:12,850 --> 01:00:14,231 These things are out of my control. 919 01:00:14,369 --> 01:00:15,888 I remember going into his tent and just saying, 920 01:00:16,026 --> 01:00:18,476 "Listen, mate, you'’ve got to 6,000 metres. 921 01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:21,445 You'’re the only other person with a spinal cord injury to ever do that. 922 01:00:21,583 --> 01:00:25,794 Before this, you haven'’t even climbed anything higher than Ben Nevis. 923 01:00:25,932 --> 01:00:28,694 Like, it'’s a bit ridiculous that you'’re even here, to be honest. 924 01:00:28,832 --> 01:00:30,005 You should be so proud of what you'’ve done." 925 01:00:30,143 --> 01:00:31,628 And you know what, he looked at me 926 01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:33,975 and he was like... he was like, "It'’s fine." 927 01:00:34,113 --> 01:00:39,428 And I could tell he was fine with it. And I was just so relieved. 928 01:00:41,983 --> 01:00:44,226 See you in a couple of days. 929 01:00:45,227 --> 01:00:46,297 [CHUCKLES] 930 01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:49,542 BEN: Ed'’s the highest. I'’m the second highest. 931 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,028 So I'’ve accomplished what I wanted. 932 01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:56,411 I'’ve proved people wrong who told me I couldn'’t do it. 933 01:00:56,549 --> 01:00:59,310 Rather than looked at what he couldn'’t do, 934 01:00:59,448 --> 01:01:01,658 he was looking at what he can do. 935 01:01:01,796 --> 01:01:05,800 And I walked off into the night with the other guys there 936 01:01:05,938 --> 01:01:07,249 just with a big smile on my face. 937 01:01:07,940 --> 01:01:09,079 Oh, shit... 938 01:01:11,529 --> 01:01:13,393 Do you want me to pull that one as well? 939 01:01:13,531 --> 01:01:14,774 ED: No, I should be all right on this one. 940 01:01:14,912 --> 01:01:16,396 ED: About two hours in, 941 01:01:16,534 --> 01:01:18,502 I fell straight through a crevasse. 942 01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,298 Got up and fell straight into another crevasse. 943 01:01:24,335 --> 01:01:26,786 Man, is this whole thing a crevasse? 944 01:01:26,924 --> 01:01:29,962 And that'’s when I realised that we were surrounded by them 945 01:01:30,100 --> 01:01:33,413 but effectively walking over the top of them. 946 01:01:35,174 --> 01:01:36,658 [GRUNTS] 947 01:01:38,073 --> 01:01:40,110 No. 948 01:01:40,248 --> 01:01:42,940 Oh. I'’m in there. 949 01:01:43,078 --> 01:01:45,115 I can'’t get my leg out of there. 950 01:01:51,984 --> 01:01:55,781 ED: Six hours into our summit attempt, 951 01:01:55,919 --> 01:01:58,197 the sun had started to come up. 952 01:02:00,578 --> 01:02:03,478 We started the sort of steep ascent. 953 01:02:03,616 --> 01:02:06,895 It didn'’t feel like you'’re getting any closer to the top. 954 01:02:08,379 --> 01:02:11,348 [LABOURED BREATHING] 955 01:02:13,281 --> 01:02:15,559 I remember checking with the guide, "How high are we?" 956 01:02:15,697 --> 01:02:19,149 And he was like, "We'’re at about 6,800 metres." 957 01:02:19,287 --> 01:02:22,773 I was now higher than I'’d ever been before. 958 01:02:25,534 --> 01:02:28,606 OK, so we'’ve been going for nine hours. 959 01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:34,543 It'’s fair to say, it is by far the hardest thing any of us have ever done. 960 01:02:38,271 --> 01:02:40,998 I'’m only 300 vertical metres short of the summit. 961 01:02:41,136 --> 01:02:45,520 But that could be four or five hours. I knew Arron wouldn'’t turn round. 962 01:02:45,658 --> 01:02:49,144 So I knew I was responsible for him as well. 963 01:02:54,736 --> 01:02:57,946 ARRON: When Ed finally collapsed onto his knees, he started crying. 964 01:02:58,084 --> 01:03:01,122 He was at complete breaking point. 965 01:03:03,883 --> 01:03:06,058 My body won'’t let me do anymore... 966 01:03:06,196 --> 01:03:08,612 ARRON: I have never seen him there before. 967 01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,373 He had pushed it to his absolute limit. 968 01:03:11,511 --> 01:03:15,653 I am done, and I'’m doing it with two legs, mate. 969 01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,586 I'’ve pushed it so hard. 970 01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:20,935 Fuck. 971 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,767 No, that'’s it, that'’s it... 972 01:03:25,905 --> 01:03:27,044 I'’m done... 973 01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:35,881 So we'’ve decided that we will have to abandon the summit attempt. 974 01:03:43,095 --> 01:03:45,304 ED: It wasn'’t until I'’d made that decision and pointed downhill, 975 01:03:45,442 --> 01:03:48,617 I thought, "Oh, my God, I can'’t walk." 976 01:03:48,755 --> 01:03:52,069 All of a sudden, my quad that I'’d been working so hard all the way up there 977 01:03:52,207 --> 01:03:56,039 was just shaking cos it'’s now facing down the hill. 978 01:03:56,177 --> 01:04:00,112 And I realised it was gonna be just as hard to get down the mountain 979 01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:03,770 as it was to get to the point where we'’d got up. 980 01:04:06,152 --> 01:04:07,567 [YELLS] 981 01:04:10,398 --> 01:04:14,264 Climbing down to the shoulder took about six hours. 982 01:04:15,782 --> 01:04:17,301 I was just doing everything I had to do 983 01:04:17,439 --> 01:04:19,786 to get down the mountain. 984 01:04:22,306 --> 01:04:24,757 We got down to the bottom of the shoulder 985 01:04:24,895 --> 01:04:27,484 to where the crevasse field was. 986 01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:37,908 We were sat there resting. I'’m absolutely exhausted. 987 01:04:38,046 --> 01:04:42,223 Like, to the point where I can'’t speak any more and my body'’s shaking. 988 01:04:42,361 --> 01:04:46,848 But I know we'’ve got to cross this glacier to get back to Camp Two. 989 01:04:46,986 --> 01:04:50,093 [WIND HOWLING] 990 01:04:50,231 --> 01:04:52,612 We'’re sat there, and we realise that all of the snow 991 01:04:52,750 --> 01:04:56,651 that we had walked across at night, the night before, that was frozen, 992 01:04:56,789 --> 01:04:59,654 was now soft and we were surrounded by crevasses. 993 01:05:02,208 --> 01:05:05,556 Bigraj managed to get through to the helicopter company on the satphone. 994 01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:09,181 They said, "We can'’t get to you. You'’re gonna have to wait till the morning." 995 01:05:09,319 --> 01:05:11,942 - BEETLE: So... - ARRON: We'’re all huddling for warmth. 996 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:15,118 BEETLE: ...it'’s ten past midnight. Ed'’s not in a good nick. 997 01:05:15,256 --> 01:05:20,917 ED: We were facing night on the mountain at minus 20, minus 30, probably, degrees. 998 01:05:22,780 --> 01:05:24,990 And it was just gonna be survival. 999 01:05:27,026 --> 01:05:31,065 Very lucky Bigraj was there, very lucky Arron was there... 1000 01:05:31,203 --> 01:05:32,549 Wait a second. 1001 01:05:32,687 --> 01:05:35,345 Gotta get some blood out. Or spit. Whatever it is. 1002 01:05:35,483 --> 01:05:38,658 ...to make rational decisions at that point. 1003 01:05:39,970 --> 01:05:41,696 I was almost fitting. 1004 01:05:41,834 --> 01:05:45,010 Ed, this will help with the breathing, mate. 1005 01:05:45,148 --> 01:05:47,150 [COUGHS] 1006 01:05:47,288 --> 01:05:48,565 All right. 1007 01:05:53,466 --> 01:05:55,606 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 1008 01:05:59,645 --> 01:06:01,405 ED: We'’d do some breath work with Arron, 1009 01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:02,648 and then we'’d do some tensing, 1010 01:06:02,786 --> 01:06:04,857 and just keep each other awake. 1011 01:06:14,901 --> 01:06:17,663 ARRON: About 7:30 a.m. Bigraj went on the satphone 1012 01:06:17,801 --> 01:06:21,563 and he called the helicopter, and they said, yes, they'’re coming up. 1013 01:06:25,222 --> 01:06:26,983 ED: That sound of the chopper coming up the valley, 1014 01:06:27,121 --> 01:06:30,089 just unbelievable sense of relief. 1015 01:06:37,614 --> 01:06:40,065 BEN: Ed came back. 1016 01:06:40,203 --> 01:06:42,999 And Ed, oh, Jesus Christ, Ed looked really bad. 1017 01:06:44,172 --> 01:06:45,794 His lips were all scabbed, 1018 01:06:45,932 --> 01:06:49,246 his nose was scabby where it was all burnt. 1019 01:06:52,042 --> 01:06:55,287 ED: The first thing I remember is Ben running over 1020 01:06:55,425 --> 01:06:56,943 and me just giving him a big hug, 1021 01:06:57,082 --> 01:06:59,049 and the look on his face and how happy he was. 1022 01:07:01,155 --> 01:07:03,571 BEN: I hugged him and I said, "Are you all right?" 1023 01:07:03,709 --> 01:07:05,711 He said, "That was epic." 1024 01:07:05,849 --> 01:07:09,232 I looked at him and just laughed. 1025 01:07:09,370 --> 01:07:12,269 So, yeah, that... that sums up Ed, I think. 1026 01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:16,273 Excuse the feralness. 1027 01:07:16,411 --> 01:07:20,795 I'’ve just had my first wash, uh, in five days, six days. 1028 01:07:20,933 --> 01:07:24,764 Um, yeah, we got back to a very nervous camp this morning. 1029 01:07:24,902 --> 01:07:28,527 They'’d put up all the prayer flags and kept the fire burning for us. 1030 01:07:28,665 --> 01:07:31,875 So, very sweet, but also very humbling at the same time. 1031 01:07:32,013 --> 01:07:33,739 Obviously it hasn'’t all sunk in yet. 1032 01:07:38,123 --> 01:07:41,505 I think there was something higher watching over us that day. 1033 01:07:41,643 --> 01:07:44,267 The respect I have and we have for the mountain, 1034 01:07:44,405 --> 01:07:46,821 and showed to the mountain throughout our whole trip, 1035 01:07:46,959 --> 01:07:51,032 I feel very grateful to have experienced what we experienced. 1036 01:07:53,034 --> 01:07:55,864 But I also feel very lucky that we made it back. 1037 01:07:57,521 --> 01:07:58,936 It'’s not something I would want 1038 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:01,318 to repeat in a heartbeat or choose to, 1039 01:08:01,456 --> 01:08:04,287 but it'’s also something I definitely, definitely don'’t regret. 1040 01:08:09,775 --> 01:08:12,881 I think every time that I come close to death, 1041 01:08:13,019 --> 01:08:16,954 which has happened a couple of times now... 1042 01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:18,680 you just realise how lucky you are 1043 01:08:18,818 --> 01:08:21,373 to be alive in the first place. 1044 01:08:22,443 --> 01:08:24,238 And it'’s something that... 1045 01:08:25,653 --> 01:08:28,207 I definitely took for granted before. 1046 01:08:34,524 --> 01:08:36,974 INTERVIEWER: That trip really did change your life. 1047 01:08:37,113 --> 01:08:39,356 It has changed my life, yeah, massively, yeah. 1048 01:08:39,494 --> 01:08:41,358 All for the better. Yeah. 1049 01:08:41,496 --> 01:08:47,226 And I can'’t thank Ed or Lois enough for what they'’ve done. 1050 01:08:47,364 --> 01:08:50,298 My stress levels have gone so low. 1051 01:08:50,436 --> 01:08:53,612 What stuff I'’d usually get angry at, or snap at... 1052 01:08:55,476 --> 01:09:00,584 I just... I just... I took Ed'’s attitude of... "Bothered". 1053 01:09:03,863 --> 01:09:06,107 I'’ve accepted that the accident'’s happened. 1054 01:09:06,245 --> 01:09:10,146 I accepted that my injuries are what they are now. 1055 01:09:10,284 --> 01:09:12,803 I don'’t wanna be setting on to the next goal straightaway. 1056 01:09:12,941 --> 01:09:14,564 I just wanna enjoy and think, 1057 01:09:14,702 --> 01:09:17,014 "Oh, my God, what have I done? What have I achieved?" 1058 01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:21,226 And enjoy telling the story, to be honest. 1059 01:09:25,057 --> 01:09:30,752 LOIS: I could see straightaway how much that trip had changed their lives. 1060 01:09:30,890 --> 01:09:33,341 Ed realigned what he wants to do 1061 01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:37,932 and where he wants to go and the values that he lives by. 1062 01:09:38,070 --> 01:09:40,590 Only accepting work that is true to him 1063 01:09:40,728 --> 01:09:42,902 and that is actually gonna get him closer 1064 01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:46,389 to the deeper things he wants to do, not the superficial. 1065 01:10:01,058 --> 01:10:03,095 - Do you wanna go through this? - Yeah. 1066 01:10:04,648 --> 01:10:06,581 Last year, we decided 1067 01:10:06,719 --> 01:10:09,205 that we wanted to help impact more people, basically. 1068 01:10:09,343 --> 01:10:11,897 We had so many applications and people getting in touch, 1069 01:10:12,035 --> 01:10:14,382 but we kind of wanted to stick true 1070 01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,867 to our approach of really changing someone'’s life. 1071 01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:20,285 And with that in mind, you can'’t impact 1072 01:10:20,423 --> 01:10:22,183 a thousand people at the same time. 1073 01:10:22,321 --> 01:10:23,909 ARRON: Trying to watch the hand. 1074 01:10:29,328 --> 01:10:32,262 ED: By changing fewer people'’s lives significantly, 1075 01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:36,439 the ripple effect is they then go on and help other people. 1076 01:10:36,577 --> 01:10:38,130 But also their stories being told 1077 01:10:38,268 --> 01:10:39,718 means that other people can see that 1078 01:10:39,856 --> 01:10:41,513 to take inspiration from it. 1079 01:10:43,515 --> 01:10:46,172 We wanted to create actual events around the country 1080 01:10:46,311 --> 01:10:48,416 that more people can get involved with, 1081 01:10:48,554 --> 01:10:50,349 and that'’s Together Outdoors. 1082 01:10:52,593 --> 01:10:55,181 So it'’s like a network, started from a Facebook group, 1083 01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,598 where people who have been through trauma 1084 01:10:57,736 --> 01:11:00,186 can get in contact with each other in their areas 1085 01:11:00,325 --> 01:11:01,360 and go on organised walks. 1086 01:11:24,072 --> 01:11:28,801 I'’m really proud of both of them. They work so hard. 1087 01:11:28,939 --> 01:11:32,115 They play hard as well, but they work so hard. 1088 01:11:32,253 --> 01:11:35,532 In the office, outside, focused on it. 1089 01:11:36,947 --> 01:11:39,087 [CHEERING] 1090 01:11:39,225 --> 01:11:41,504 Honestly, I think this whole sequence of events 1091 01:11:41,642 --> 01:11:43,471 has strengthened their relationship 1092 01:11:43,609 --> 01:11:45,542 rather than what sadly often happens, 1093 01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,682 which is weaken and destroys it. 1094 01:11:51,065 --> 01:11:54,102 They'’re both very passionate about what they'’re doing. 1095 01:11:55,828 --> 01:11:58,210 I mean, you can see, they enjoy it. 1096 01:11:58,348 --> 01:12:00,143 [CHEERING] 1097 01:12:00,281 --> 01:12:02,007 [LOIS LAUGHS] 1098 01:12:03,836 --> 01:12:07,771 They can see what a difference it'’s making to people. 1099 01:12:07,909 --> 01:12:10,015 [CHEERING] 1100 01:12:10,153 --> 01:12:12,328 Positive emotion is very healing. 1101 01:12:13,984 --> 01:12:16,297 People are more likely to get better from an illness 1102 01:12:16,435 --> 01:12:18,782 if they are positive in themselves 1103 01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:22,165 and are surrounded by people who feed positivity into them. 1104 01:12:22,303 --> 01:12:24,547 LOIS: Yes, Jen! Fist bump! 1105 01:12:24,685 --> 01:12:26,963 - I can'’t believe it. - Yes! 1106 01:12:27,101 --> 01:12:29,275 MARK: It'’s fairly obvious, but it is true. 1107 01:12:30,967 --> 01:12:33,452 With all the charity work I do, all the mentoring I'’m doing, 1108 01:12:33,590 --> 01:12:35,074 it'’s still healing me. 1109 01:12:54,231 --> 01:12:58,408 LOIS: How are you feeling about the climb with Leo and Waldo? 1110 01:12:58,546 --> 01:12:59,720 - I'’m excited. - Yeah? 1111 01:12:59,858 --> 01:13:04,172 I mean, scared, but excited. 1112 01:13:04,310 --> 01:13:07,728 Yeah, I think it'’s one of those which is really gonna... 1113 01:13:07,866 --> 01:13:09,454 it'’s right on the limit of... 1114 01:13:09,592 --> 01:13:11,490 I mean, it'’s beyond my technical ability already. 1115 01:13:11,628 --> 01:13:14,182 LOIS: I still question why you do these things. 1116 01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,598 There'’s a number of reasons. 1117 01:13:15,736 --> 01:13:16,909 It obviously helps me psychologically 1118 01:13:17,047 --> 01:13:18,324 keep up with all the training. 1119 01:13:18,463 --> 01:13:19,843 - Mmm. - Which is big. 1120 01:13:19,981 --> 01:13:22,881 And hopefully keeps inspiring other people 1121 01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:25,055 to sort of push their own boundaries. 1122 01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:27,886 [BIRD SCREECHES] 1123 01:13:28,024 --> 01:13:31,821 Now it'’s sunk in from Nepal, it'’s more doing things 1124 01:13:31,959 --> 01:13:35,894 that are, like, risky and hard but not reckless. 1125 01:13:37,861 --> 01:13:39,276 LOIS: Yeah. 1126 01:13:48,596 --> 01:13:50,011 Love you. 1127 01:14:07,132 --> 01:14:09,583 Rock climbing'’s not an adrenaline sport. 1128 01:14:09,721 --> 01:14:12,378 It'’s not about getting an adrenaline hit. 1129 01:14:12,517 --> 01:14:15,899 It'’s too painful and too drawn-out for that. 1130 01:14:16,037 --> 01:14:19,524 There'’s unquestionably, for me at least, a spiritual element. 1131 01:14:20,732 --> 01:14:22,285 It'’s no coincidence 1132 01:14:22,423 --> 01:14:24,321 that most of the best climbing areas in the world 1133 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,531 are national parks. 1134 01:14:26,669 --> 01:14:31,190 These environments, these big rocky features, are majestic. 1135 01:14:31,328 --> 01:14:33,779 They'’re... They'’re beautiful. 1136 01:14:33,917 --> 01:14:36,023 They'’re awesome places to... to hang out. 1137 01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:41,338 Yeah, wow. 1138 01:14:46,136 --> 01:14:49,830 I have... I still cannot contemplate 1139 01:14:49,968 --> 01:14:52,315 how the hell I'’m gonna end up on top of that. 1140 01:14:52,453 --> 01:14:57,734 But I have complete faith in the people I'’m with. 1141 01:14:57,872 --> 01:15:00,357 And Leo says it'’s possible. 1142 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,981 LEO: Ed'’s gotta get himself up there. 1143 01:15:03,119 --> 01:15:09,090 All I'’m gonna do is minimise the risk. He'’s kind of on his own. 1144 01:15:09,228 --> 01:15:11,886 It'’s a real, like, knife-edge ridge, so it'’s hyper-exposed. 1145 01:15:12,024 --> 01:15:14,682 It'’s like the most scary environment. 1146 01:15:14,820 --> 01:15:18,444 But the challenge, I think it'’s just about 1147 01:15:18,583 --> 01:15:20,895 the perfect level for where he is now. 1148 01:15:21,033 --> 01:15:23,760 Being rubbish at something and being around people who are great at it, 1149 01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:25,900 and every day my improvement curve'’s like this, 1150 01:15:26,038 --> 01:15:28,696 I'’m learning so much. 1151 01:15:28,834 --> 01:15:32,597 That curve'’s never been as steep since my accident. 1152 01:15:34,391 --> 01:15:36,290 I had to learn to walk again and learn to... 1153 01:15:36,428 --> 01:15:39,845 Like, every day'’s a school day at the moment. 1154 01:15:43,746 --> 01:15:46,680 [EXHALES] So, it'’s 6 a.m. 1155 01:15:46,818 --> 01:15:49,614 The morning of climbing that thing behind me. 1156 01:15:51,892 --> 01:15:53,514 I don'’t know. 1157 01:15:55,585 --> 01:15:57,104 Really excited. Adrenaline. 1158 01:15:57,242 --> 01:16:00,659 Like, I feel like I'’ve got pre-match nerves. 1159 01:16:00,797 --> 01:16:04,732 It feels like that same feeling like before a rugby match, 1160 01:16:04,870 --> 01:16:10,358 but almost more intense because it'’s so much more unknown. 1161 01:16:10,496 --> 01:16:12,809 When I was gonna play rugby, I knew it was gonna hurt. 1162 01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:17,158 God, I love it out here. 1163 01:16:25,442 --> 01:16:28,480 It wasn'’t like I broke my neck and I was gonna be quadriplegic. 1164 01:16:28,618 --> 01:16:30,482 It wasn'’t like, "OK, now I'’m just gonna crack on. 1165 01:16:30,620 --> 01:16:31,897 It'’s fine. I'’ll sort it out." 1166 01:16:32,035 --> 01:16:33,347 It wasn'’t. It'’s been a process. 1167 01:16:33,485 --> 01:16:35,798 It definitely has. 1168 01:16:35,936 --> 01:16:40,147 It'’s kind of realising that you have to just focus on what you can do 1169 01:16:40,285 --> 01:16:41,804 and what is positive in your life. 1170 01:16:41,942 --> 01:16:44,669 Because if you focus on the negative side, 1171 01:16:44,807 --> 01:16:46,981 it'’ll eat you up. 1172 01:16:47,119 --> 01:16:48,638 Nice one. 1173 01:16:52,711 --> 01:16:54,540 ED: I could still be at the bottom of that pool. 1174 01:16:54,679 --> 01:16:57,371 You know, I'’m very lucky that I didn'’t die. 1175 01:16:59,442 --> 01:17:03,066 I do get those flashes of, "Oh, that'’s annoying" or "Ow, that hurts" 1176 01:17:03,204 --> 01:17:06,518 or "That takes a long time", and I have those daily. 1177 01:17:06,656 --> 01:17:10,280 But... I mean, not just daily, but almost hourly. 1178 01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:13,663 But that moment of frustration is fleeting, 1179 01:17:13,801 --> 01:17:16,977 cos my brain almost subconsciously reframes it to, 1180 01:17:17,115 --> 01:17:20,912 "No, come on, get on with it. That'’s not gonna be helpful for you." 1181 01:17:22,707 --> 01:17:24,398 LEO: So this is where we'’ll gear up. 1182 01:17:25,571 --> 01:17:28,816 Yeah. I think maybe a little bit looser. 1183 01:17:28,954 --> 01:17:32,648 Just so that I can grab it when it'’s further away. Yeah, that'’ll be good. 1184 01:17:32,786 --> 01:17:35,443 This is a way of me being able to grab 1185 01:17:35,581 --> 01:17:37,894 and move my foot around and place it on the rock. 1186 01:17:38,032 --> 01:17:39,793 Works in principle. 1187 01:17:45,212 --> 01:17:46,800 LEO: Ready? 1188 01:17:50,838 --> 01:17:53,530 - LEO: Obviously, there'’s a physical challenge to it. - ED: Fuck. 1189 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:56,154 LEO: And a psychological challenge. It'’s scary. 1190 01:17:56,292 --> 01:18:01,228 Everyone'’s scared of heights. But there'’s also another element. 1191 01:18:01,366 --> 01:18:04,472 - Heart is going. - LEO: Climbing is a cerebral challenge. 1192 01:18:04,610 --> 01:18:06,889 It'’s like a problem solving. It'’s like a Rubik'’s Cube. 1193 01:18:07,027 --> 01:18:11,031 You have to figure out how to use the tools at your disposal, 1194 01:18:11,169 --> 01:18:13,309 your fingers and your toes and your appendages, 1195 01:18:13,447 --> 01:18:17,140 to overcome this challenge of getting up the rock face. 1196 01:18:29,083 --> 01:18:31,568 It'’s a very deep thing. It'’s very emotional. 1197 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,329 And there'’s sort of a clarity to it 1198 01:18:33,467 --> 01:18:35,607 where you really have to concentrate. 1199 01:18:35,745 --> 01:18:39,991 You really have to focus on the task at hand. 1200 01:18:40,129 --> 01:18:42,579 So you have to be present and in the moment. 1201 01:18:44,409 --> 01:18:47,723 So it'’s almost like a form of meditation. 1202 01:18:56,179 --> 01:18:57,215 [GRUNTS] 1203 01:19:01,909 --> 01:19:05,257 There'’s just nothing to really hold on to. 1204 01:19:08,019 --> 01:19:11,056 Whoa... I slipped... 1205 01:19:13,265 --> 01:19:14,991 - OK. - It'’s all right. 1206 01:19:15,129 --> 01:19:16,993 It'’s not like there'’s a massive drop down there. 1207 01:19:18,305 --> 01:19:20,825 Yes! Good start. 1208 01:19:20,963 --> 01:19:22,723 - [ED EXHALES] - [LEO LAUGHS] 1209 01:19:22,861 --> 01:19:25,726 - That was the first course, the starter. - ED: Yeah. 1210 01:19:25,864 --> 01:19:29,350 - LEO: This is the main meal. - Yeah. No shit. 1211 01:19:29,488 --> 01:19:32,491 - LEO: Keep it really slack, yeah? - Yeah. 1212 01:19:44,745 --> 01:19:47,334 ED: This bit'’s gonna be difficult. 1213 01:19:47,472 --> 01:19:49,992 I'’ve got to try and get my left leg over. 1214 01:19:50,130 --> 01:19:53,236 That'’s the leg that doesn'’t like to work. 1215 01:19:55,860 --> 01:19:58,069 LEO: This is gonna be quite tricky as well. 1216 01:19:59,829 --> 01:20:02,418 That'’s climber talk for, "You'’re gonna have a really hard time." 1217 01:20:02,556 --> 01:20:06,215 ED: Yeah, yeah, OK. Quite tricky. Like it. 1218 01:20:13,774 --> 01:20:16,881 - Mmm. One sec. - LEO: Pay attention. 1219 01:20:17,916 --> 01:20:19,193 ED: Good? 1220 01:20:23,197 --> 01:20:27,961 A thousand-foot drop either side. Looks pretty terrifying. 1221 01:20:29,652 --> 01:20:31,136 Honestly, my heart is going like the clappers. 1222 01:20:31,274 --> 01:20:32,517 I don'’t know how long I can keep this... 1223 01:20:32,655 --> 01:20:35,347 keep this adrenaline going. 1224 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:42,389 Right, come on. Come on, you got this. 1225 01:20:44,598 --> 01:20:46,531 Steady as she goes. 1226 01:20:50,328 --> 01:20:52,640 If my spinal cord injury was complete, 1227 01:20:52,778 --> 01:20:55,367 which I thought it was, which I was told it was, 1228 01:20:55,505 --> 01:20:59,785 then it wouldn'’t matter how hard I would work, I would never be here. 1229 01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:02,202 Unless someone dropped me off in a helicopter. 1230 01:21:04,273 --> 01:21:06,723 I would love to have shaken the old Ed and been like, 1231 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:11,728 "Do you realise how lucky you are to just be alive?" 1232 01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:16,802 I think that I'’ve replaced a life with a better life. 1233 01:21:16,941 --> 01:21:18,218 Yeah, that seems to be working. 1234 01:21:22,601 --> 01:21:23,706 Let'’s put my... 1235 01:21:25,156 --> 01:21:27,227 - LEO: Claw jam. - Claw jam. There it is. 1236 01:21:27,365 --> 01:21:30,816 - That'’s a unique climb. - The claw, mate. The claw. 1237 01:21:30,955 --> 01:21:33,405 It'’s just where my right leg goes to, that'’s the thing. 1238 01:21:33,543 --> 01:21:35,097 LEO: The footholds aren'’t very good. 1239 01:21:35,235 --> 01:21:37,271 There'’s a really good handhold up there, though. 1240 01:21:39,377 --> 01:21:43,968 Yeah. Gotta get the claw out of the jam now. 1241 01:21:45,521 --> 01:21:47,972 Get out of there. OK. 1242 01:21:49,801 --> 01:21:52,252 [EXHALES] 1243 01:21:53,736 --> 01:21:55,048 [GRUNTS] 1244 01:22:00,398 --> 01:22:03,711 Oh, I'’ve got a spasm in that leg. 1245 01:22:03,849 --> 01:22:08,509 Start bending it. And break the spasm. 1246 01:22:08,647 --> 01:22:11,892 OK. That'’s a tiny ledge. 1247 01:22:12,030 --> 01:22:14,688 Oh, I'’ve got my right foot stuck. 1248 01:22:17,898 --> 01:22:21,626 Ah. Foot'’s stuck in the crack. 1249 01:22:21,764 --> 01:22:25,216 Right. Try something else. 1250 01:22:26,527 --> 01:22:28,046 Ooh, no... 1251 01:22:30,014 --> 01:22:32,257 I'’m not gonna be able to get my left there, that'’s the problem. 1252 01:22:32,395 --> 01:22:37,297 Wait a minute. OK. Maybe if I go with my left in there. 1253 01:22:37,435 --> 01:22:39,816 My left leg is now higher than it'’s pretty much ever been, 1254 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:42,647 so I don'’t even know if I'’ll get any traction on it, but... 1255 01:22:42,785 --> 01:22:45,615 - Is it on something? - Yeah. 1256 01:22:45,753 --> 01:22:49,412 - Hopefully it'’s steady. - Go for it. 1257 01:22:50,758 --> 01:22:51,967 Um... 1258 01:22:53,382 --> 01:22:56,730 You push down with that hand. Yes! Yes! 1259 01:23:00,665 --> 01:23:01,838 [GRUNTS] 1260 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:04,255 Big holds coming up for your hands. 1261 01:23:04,393 --> 01:23:06,429 ED: Yeah, my foot slipped out, though. 1262 01:23:06,567 --> 01:23:12,194 - Go high with your right hand. - My left foot slipped out. Oh, yeah. 1263 01:23:12,332 --> 01:23:15,231 Yes! Yes! Get your knee on. 1264 01:23:16,819 --> 01:23:20,202 There you go. A bit higher. That'’s it. 1265 01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:24,758 [LABOURED BREATHING] 1266 01:23:24,896 --> 01:23:27,312 My God, I feel like I'’m gonna have a heart attack. 1267 01:23:27,450 --> 01:23:29,280 LEO: Try not to. 1268 01:23:33,042 --> 01:23:35,113 ED: Yeah. 1269 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:39,221 [WIND HOWLING] 1270 01:23:39,359 --> 01:23:41,361 LEO: You'’re nearly there. 1271 01:23:43,052 --> 01:23:44,916 Yeah, unclip now. 1272 01:23:54,650 --> 01:23:58,516 - Easy now. - Phwoar. 1273 01:23:58,654 --> 01:24:01,381 ED: Not sure about the exposure, though. 1274 01:24:06,524 --> 01:24:08,560 [LABOURED BREATHING] 1275 01:24:17,121 --> 01:24:19,847 [LAUGHS] 1276 01:24:19,985 --> 01:24:23,161 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, that'’s the top! 1277 01:24:23,299 --> 01:24:24,852 ED: Oh... 1278 01:24:24,990 --> 01:24:28,994 Oh, my God. Yes! 1279 01:24:29,650 --> 01:24:30,927 Oh! 1280 01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:36,347 - There you go. - [EXHALES] 1281 01:24:36,485 --> 01:24:41,731 That was... That was one of the most intense experiences of my life. 1282 01:24:45,321 --> 01:24:47,565 - You did it. - Thank you so much, mate. 1283 01:24:47,703 --> 01:24:51,224 You did it without... You free climbed it. 1284 01:24:51,362 --> 01:24:55,297 That'’s gonna take a while to sink in. 1285 01:24:55,435 --> 01:24:57,264 Yeah, who'’d have thought it five years ago, eh? 1286 01:24:57,402 --> 01:24:59,680 Oh, mate. 1287 01:24:59,818 --> 01:25:04,858 - Yeah. Getting a bit emotional. - So am I. 1288 01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:11,658 - Thank you, mate. - No, it'’s such a pleasure to share it. 1289 01:25:15,972 --> 01:25:19,424 Mate, it'’s such a beautiful place as well. 1290 01:25:19,562 --> 01:25:24,395 Yeah. Yeah. It'’s all too much to take in, really. 1291 01:25:24,533 --> 01:25:28,192 Not just that, but, like, the whole, "How am I stood up here?" 1292 01:25:30,194 --> 01:25:32,092 - Well done, Ed. - Thanks, man. 1293 01:25:32,230 --> 01:25:34,819 - You should be very proud of that. - We made it. 1294 01:25:36,683 --> 01:25:41,205 What a summit it is. I cannot believe what we just did. 1295 01:25:41,343 --> 01:25:43,690 Well, what I just did. It was easy for Leo. 1296 01:25:56,979 --> 01:25:59,878 Everyone on that whole journey that got me to that point, 1297 01:26:00,016 --> 01:26:04,676 my surgeon, my physios, stood on top of that mountain looking out. 1298 01:26:04,814 --> 01:26:08,128 And I feel very grateful to all of them, you know. 1299 01:26:08,266 --> 01:26:09,923 Been very lucky to meet some amazing people 1300 01:26:10,061 --> 01:26:12,753 that have done some incredible things for me and I just... 1301 01:26:12,891 --> 01:26:16,067 and it all seemed to culminate in that terrifying moment. 1302 01:26:21,762 --> 01:26:24,248 LOIS: I think that you do gather a whole new perspective 1303 01:26:24,386 --> 01:26:27,630 when you have gone through a life-changing incident, 1304 01:26:27,768 --> 01:26:32,877 when you have nearly died, and I can feel that from him. 1305 01:26:33,015 --> 01:26:36,846 And you know what? It'’s contagious. He gives that off. 1306 01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:40,367 It'’s changed my perspective. 1307 01:26:42,162 --> 01:26:45,993 I definitely believe that you can change your mindset 1308 01:26:46,131 --> 01:26:50,308 and live a happy, positive life. 1309 01:26:50,446 --> 01:26:53,518 I would say I'’m living proof that you can. 1310 01:26:57,488 --> 01:27:02,941 ED: Most of our suffering is dealt by ourselves, to ourselves. 1311 01:27:05,392 --> 01:27:09,431 I think, at the end of the day, it comes down to an ability to let go, 1312 01:27:09,569 --> 01:27:13,745 because we can'’t change what'’s happened to us, 1313 01:27:13,883 --> 01:27:16,748 so reliving it and replaying it over and over again 1314 01:27:16,886 --> 01:27:20,683 and living in the past is just causing us more hurt and pain. 1315 01:27:22,720 --> 01:27:24,894 And if we can stay in the present moment, 1316 01:27:25,032 --> 01:27:29,830 not fear too much about the future and just live our lives 1317 01:27:29,968 --> 01:27:33,800 like it'’s a gift to even be there in the first place, 1318 01:27:33,938 --> 01:27:36,768 then that would alleviate so much suffering. 1319 01:27:42,464 --> 01:27:45,363 LOIS: You'’ve got two sticks. You can'’t hold my hand. 1320 01:27:47,641 --> 01:27:49,712 ED: I think one of the best ways to do that 1321 01:27:49,850 --> 01:27:51,714 is to start doing things for each other. 1322 01:27:51,852 --> 01:27:53,578 You know, just be kind, be nice. 1323 01:27:53,716 --> 01:27:55,718 It doesn'’t... It doesn'’t cost anything. 1324 01:27:55,856 --> 01:27:59,964 And those ripple effects make such a big difference. 1325 01:28:01,414 --> 01:28:03,933 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1326 01:28:04,071 --> 01:28:05,763 [LOIS LAUGHS] 1327 01:28:05,901 --> 01:28:09,145 [♪ JIMMY BARNES: "AIN'’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH"] 1328 01:28:12,010 --> 01:28:16,670 ♪ Listen, babe, ain'’t no mountain high Ain'’t no valley low ♪ 1329 01:28:16,808 --> 01:28:20,467 ♪ Ain'’t no river wide enough, baby ♪ 1330 01:28:20,605 --> 01:28:22,538 ♪ If you need me, call ♪ 1331 01:28:22,676 --> 01:28:26,473 ♪ No matter where you are No matter how far ♪ 1332 01:28:26,611 --> 01:28:29,925 ♪ Don'’t worry, baby Just call my name ♪ 1333 01:28:30,063 --> 01:28:33,653 ♪ I'’ll be there in a hurry You don'’t have to worry ♪ 1334 01:28:33,791 --> 01:28:38,761 ♪ Cos, baby, there ain'’t no mountain high enough ♪ 1335 01:28:38,899 --> 01:28:42,524 ♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪ 1336 01:28:42,662 --> 01:28:45,837 ♪ Ain'’t no river wide enough ♪ 1337 01:28:45,975 --> 01:28:48,323 ♪ To keep me from getting to you, babe ♪ 1338 01:28:48,461 --> 01:28:53,707 ♪ Cos you know that there ain'’t no mountain high enough ♪ 1339 01:28:53,845 --> 01:28:57,159 ♪ Ain'’t no valley low enough ♪ 1340 01:28:57,297 --> 01:29:00,749 ♪ Well, ain'’t no river wide enough ♪ 1341 01:29:00,887 --> 01:29:05,823 ♪ To keep me from getting to you, babe ♪ 1342 01:29:05,961 --> 01:29:12,312 ♪ Oh, no, darlin'’ No wind, no rain ♪