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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[soft orchestral music playing]
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[lively chatter]
5
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- [Ingrid] Hi. How are you?
- [Bobbi] I'm good. Thanks.
6
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[Ingrid] Who do I make this out to?
7
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[Bobbi] Uh, Bobbi with an "I".
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In the prologue,
you say you wrote this book
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in order to better understand
and accept death.
10
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Um...
11
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Yeah. It feels unnatural to me.
12
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I can't accept that something
alive has to die.
13
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Thank you.
14
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:16,869
- Ingrid...
- Mm.
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We've fulfilled the hour.
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I mean, in fact, we've gone over.
17
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Well, there's still a lot of people waiting.
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Yes. We'll do what you want.
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Could you sign mine?
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Stella! I didn't see you.
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Why didn't you come straight up?
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I was embarrassed.
23
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You draw a crowd!
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- A lot of young people.
- Thank you.
25
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- Not just women.
- [laughs]
26
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,056
Stella, this is Anne.
Anne, my friend Stella.
27
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- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
28
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I'm gonna stay until
I've signed for everybody.
29
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Yes. I'll just make sure that
no one else joins the line.
30
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Okay. [Chuckles]
31
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Oh, I haven't seen you in forever.
32
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I'm living in Boston now.
33
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I came to see my son,
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and to visit Martha in the hospital.
35
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You know she has cancer, right?
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It's a bad one.
37
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,535
Martha?
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Martha Hunt?
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00:01:58,661 --> 00:01:59,662
Yes.
40
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,622
She's at Manhattan Memorial
Cancer Center.
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00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,865
I thought you would've heard.
42
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,257
No. To be honest,
I haven't seen her in years.
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00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,503
Martha is sick? I can't imagine it.
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If you go see her,
it'll make her very happy.
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Yeah. Of course.
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Of course I will.
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Um, thank you so much for coming.
I really appreciate it.
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Congratulations.
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- Thank you.
- Mm!
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- I'll see you soon.
- Thanks.
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00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,141
- Bye.
- Bye.
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Hi.
53
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- Who do I make this out to?
- Frances.
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- Is that you?
- No, it's my girlfriend.
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She really admires you.
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- So do I.
- Thank you.
57
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Could you write "It won't happen again"?
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Of course I can.
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Yes. Thank you. It won't happen again.
60
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I hope not.
61
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,359
Hi. I'm here to see Martha Hunt.
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I think she's on the 16th floor.
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Okay. One sec.
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[keyboard clacks]
65
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Yes. Room 1614.
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The elevator is at the end
of the hall, on the left.
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- Thanks.
- No problem.
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[indistinct chatter]
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[knock at door]
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[door opens]
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Martha?
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[Martha] Ingrid!
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What a surprise!
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- How did you hear?
- I ran into Stella.
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- She told me. [Kisses]
- Oh.
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I'm so sorry, I didn't
even know you were sick.
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Oh, well, you with your work
and me with mine.
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00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,497
I mean, time's gotten away from us.
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00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,207
Yes, and I was living in Paris.
80
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,085
Yeah, I heard.
I've been reading about you.
81
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,212
I know you have published another book
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and it's doing very well.
83
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,674
Thank you. [Sighs]
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So...
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How are you?
86
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,806
I'm sure you're sick of telling everybody.
87
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,685
Well, it's cervical cancer. Stage three.
88
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,021
It isn't operable,
but they're treating me, so
89
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,482
looks like I'm not gonna die quite yet.
90
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:39,655
Um, I've become a guinea pig
for an experimental treatment
91
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,032
and the results are better
than the doctors expected.
92
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,158
- Great!
- Yeah.
93
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,577
That's great! Well, you seem
like you're in good spirits.
94
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,665
Well, I swing between
euphoria and depression.
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00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- [laughs]
96
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,461
No, it's normal,
and the doctors warned me, you know.
97
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,338
- Highs and lows.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,257
Mm-hmm.
99
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,759
It will sound absurd,
100
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:05,097
but after all the accepting
and preparing to face the end,
101
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,226
survival feels almost disappointing.
102
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,519
Oh, don't say that.
103
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No, I was prepared to leave.
104
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,861
In fact, when they gave me
the initial diagnosis,
105
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I didn't want any treatment.
106
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Well, I'm glad you changed your mind.
107
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,535
'Cause, you know, just the thought...
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And that I wouldn't know...
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Anyway, I realized that I really...
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00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,585
I'm not ready to abandon
the party just yet.
111
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:38,922
But I had truly gotten used to the idea.
112
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,426
Well, I suppose that it's good
to get used to the idea,
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00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,886
but without giving up, right?
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00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,857
You've been through
a lot of wars, remember?
115
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,308
I live with them every day.
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00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,439
Oh, Ingrid, I'm so happy to see you.
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I almost called you a thousand times.
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00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,984
- I'm sorry.
- Me, too!
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It's ridiculous that
we haven't seen each other.
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00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,614
I promise I'm gonna visit
until you get sick of me.
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00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,032
Will you?
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00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,533
You promise?
123
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,160
I'm gonna hold you to that.
124
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,703
Your daughter knows, I guess.
125
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:11,914
Yes.
126
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:17,503
When I first made up my mind
to forgo any treatment,
127
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,670
I told her,
128
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,131
and she just said...
129
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,509
"It's your choice."
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00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,095
Period.
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00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,971
As if it was something trivial,
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00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,058
something that had
nothing to do with her.
133
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,269
How are you two getting along?
134
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,396
Um, same as ever.
135
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,898
We're barely in touch.
136
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,358
What does she do?
137
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,526
She's doing well.
138
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:44,029
She is, uh, an agent
for classical musicians.
139
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,659
It might sound horrible,
140
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,247
but I don't feel like she's my daughter.
141
00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,669
I fantasize frequently about
her being swapped at birth.
142
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,045
What?
143
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,798
What are you talking about?
She looks just like you.
144
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,091
She has your face.
145
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,637
I never interested her as a mother.
146
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:10,764
Why not?
147
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:12,975
I was a teenager when I had her.
148
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,478
I didn't know what to do with a baby.
149
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:21,191
And when we started working at
Paper Magazine, you remember?
150
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,985
We practically lived at night.
151
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,571
You remember New York in the '80s?
152
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:26,697
Yeah.
153
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,866
Anything important happened at night.
154
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:36,039
And then I went to work
as a war correspondent,
155
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,374
traveling constantly.
156
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,293
And that didn't help.
157
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,796
My work just completely took over.
158
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,928
I was never what a mother
is supposed to be.
159
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,726
But Michelle started to hate me
160
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,603
long before I was away so much.
161
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:03,275
I remember feeling her resentment
even when she was a little girl.
162
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,614
She made herself very clear.
163
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:17,873
She couldn't bear... not having a father.
164
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:24,796
She saw other girls with their fathers
and she wanted to know about hers.
165
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,510
At first, I told her
I didn't know who he was, but...
166
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,346
[sighs]
167
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:34,514
It kind of made things worse.
168
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,060
I was lying to her.
169
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,311
- [laughs]
- [lively chatter]
170
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,563
[Martha] Of course I knew
who her father was.
171
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,941
His name was Fred.
172
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,947
[shouts]
173
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,741
[Martha] We dated for a few months
before he was drafted.
174
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:57,120
And then went away to fight,
towards the end of Vietnam.
175
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:02,584
When he came back,
a year later, he was
176
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,127
somebody different.
177
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,546
Fred! What happened?
178
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,423
He was a broken toy.
179
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:12,469
Hey. Hey, it's okay.
180
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,764
I'm here. It's all over now, Fred.
You're back home.
181
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,224
But it's not over for me.
182
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,145
I still got the war inside my head.
183
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,816
I can't get free of it.
184
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:30,195
I hallucinate every single day.
185
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,742
And I was high practically all the time.
186
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,207
I don't know what I'm doing with my life,
187
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,168
but I'm not staying here.
188
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:50,924
It's all right.
189
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,052
Feel free to do what you like.
190
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:57,055
Think about what's best for you.
191
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,352
Okay.
192
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,605
Thanks.
193
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,112
Can I kiss you?
194
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,393
- Does Michelle know this?
- Oh.
195
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,899
She started asking about her father
as soon as she could talk.
196
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:56,156
But it's not something
you can explain to a child, right?
197
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,827
By puberty, she carved out
quite an abyss between us.
198
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,330
It came to define her adolescence.
199
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,167
But, by then, I was no longer there.
200
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,880
I was in New York, with you,
living my life.
201
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:18,136
I arranged to meet Fred one evening
to tell him about the situation.
202
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,972
So, I took a first aid course
203
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,518
and, because I'm a war veteran,
they've hired me at a hospital,
204
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:25,644
down in San Diego.
205
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,564
It's good news, right?
206
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,859
I have some news for you too.
207
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,737
I'm pregnant.
208
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,450
- You're pregnant?
- Yes.
209
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,038
But I was planning on moving
to San Diego next week.
210
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,667
Then what are we gonna do?
211
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,837
Whatever I do, my parents
will support me, so...
212
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,547
I'm not alone.
213
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,800
Mm.
214
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,804
I don't think working in a hospital
215
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,140
was the best thing
for such a damaged person.
216
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,267
It's the closest thing to war.
217
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:07,978
He needed therapy and rehab.
218
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,730
Yeah, that would have been
more sensible,
219
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,859
but he wanted to be useful,
220
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,611
to ease his conscience.
221
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,533
He believed that helping people
between life and death
222
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,537
was his best chance
of getting back any peace.
223
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,958
I could only free him of any responsibility.
224
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,253
He left before Michelle was born.
225
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,005
He never knew her.
226
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,631
[breathing heavily]
227
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:41,595
He didn't call once to ask about her.
228
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,723
When did you tell her?
229
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017
She was about 12.
230
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,354
She wanted to know
where he was living,
231
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,732
and I didn't know anymore.
232
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,902
She was so insistent
233
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:01,573
that I tracked down an old friend of his
from high school,
234
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,746
who told me that Fred
had gotten married
235
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,706
and had recently died.
236
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,794
I asked him for his wife's number,
237
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,297
and then I called her.
238
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,883
I wanted to know what had happened.
239
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:26,097
She told me they were
coming home after a trip.
240
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,352
Is that smoke?
241
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,646
[wife] Yes.
242
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,398
Something's on fire.
243
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,192
There's a house on fire.
244
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,696
We should call the fire department.
245
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,032
- [tinnitus ringing]
- [gunfire echoing]
246
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,076
[screaming and explosion echoing]
247
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,705
- Stop the car.
- Fred...
248
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,042
[tires screech]
249
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,047
[wife] What are you doing?
250
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,757
- I'm gonna take a look.
- No!
251
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,842
That's crazy! Fred!
252
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:05,345
- There might be someone inside.
- Fred, stop! Stop!
253
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:08,765
Don't go in. It's dangerous!
Look at me, I'm here.
254
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,685
Let's find a gas station
and call the fire department, please.
255
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:12,852
Don't you hear the screams?
256
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,146
No, I don't hear anything.
257
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,190
[panting]
258
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,943
Fred, please! Fred! Fred!
259
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,445
Fred, don't go in there!
260
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,572
[groans]
261
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,908
Don't you hear the screams?
262
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,910
There's someone inside crying for help!
263
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,038
Fred!
264
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,298
[panting]
265
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,800
[firetruck horn blaring]
266
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,094
Sir! Sir!
267
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,138
Please, help me!
268
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,515
- Sir! Sir, please!
- Let's go!
269
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:52,809
- Please, my husband's inside!
- Ladder up!
270
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,477
Sir! My husband's inside!
271
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,854
My husband's inside!
272
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,373
He thought he heard
voices crying for help.
273
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,833
Put two lines on the back side, guys!
274
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,776
He went into the house trying to save
whoever was trapped by the fire.
275
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,379
Okay, get back in your car.
Do not go over there.
276
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,404
I will stay here. Okay.
277
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,673
Please, ma'am. Is there someone else?
278
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,497
- No, I don't know!
- Ladder up, guys! Ladder!
279
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,614
There's a civilian inside!
280
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,098
Get back in your car, ma'am, please.
281
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,786
[busy chatter]
282
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,070
[chief] All right, get in there!
Get in that top window.
283
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,293
There you go. It's gonna blow out.
284
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:21,921
Good boys.
285
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,593
[indistinct police radio chatter]
286
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,280
I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do.
287
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,517
[panting]
288
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,104
He didn't get to the second floor.
289
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,566
He must have passed out
from the smoke and the flames.
290
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:42,901
And the other bodies?
291
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,152
There was nobody else.
292
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,488
This house has been abandoned
for a long time.
293
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,691
There was only your husband.
294
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,948
But he
295
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,494
he told me he heard screams for help...
296
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:53,912
Impossible, ma'am.
297
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,331
There was no one else.
298
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,416
It's true.
299
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,712
I didn't hear the screams either.
300
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,342
I tried to stop him from going in, but...
301
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,593
[sobbing]
302
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:09,719
I didn't.
303
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,012
He was very brave.
304
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,682
Did you tell Michelle all of this?
305
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,642
I had to give her every detail.
306
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,521
I even gave her her father's
wife's phone number.
307
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:20,939
You know what?
308
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,857
Let's get you back to bed. You're tired.
309
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,317
Yeah, but I have to tell you this.
310
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,569
We can... We can talk more later.
311
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,572
So, one day...
312
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,786
- I got a call from Fred's wife.
- Okay.
313
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,538
And she told me
314
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,790
- that she wanted an address.
- Mm-hm.
315
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,458
She wanted to send me something.
316
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,793
[Ingrid] Mm-hm.
317
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,336
And, shortly after,
318
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:47,382
I received a note in the mail and a letter
319
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,177
that the wife received from Michelle,
320
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,763
introducing herself
321
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,224
and saying that it was her,
322
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,101
Fred's daughter,
323
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,020
who had been in the burning house.
324
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,733
"It was me he tried to save."
325
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:09,112
"It was me for whom he died..."
326
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,574
That's what Michelle said to the wife.
327
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,075
That's insane!
328
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:15,160
Yes.
329
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,207
[cell phone ringtone playing]
330
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,502
Hi!
331
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,355
[Martha over phone]
It's Martha, the nuisance.
332
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,256
[chuckles] You're not a nuisance.
333
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,799
How're you feeling?
334
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,468
Fine. I'm at home.
335
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:35,680
The hospital's given me a few days off
between treatments, so I'm at home.
336
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,265
I'd love for you to come over.
337
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,643
Ooh, you've caught me
in the middle of moving.
338
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,771
Oh, then you're really busy, right?
339
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,524
Um, well, you know what moving's like.
340
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,779
But, um, if you're feeling lonely,
I could stop by,
341
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,447
we could take a walk in the park.
342
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,449
I might not be quite up for a walk.
343
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,161
Um, okay, you know what? Let me, um...
344
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,831
Let me finish what I'm doing
and I'll be right over.
345
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:05,126
Thanks, sweetheart,
but don't feel obliged.
346
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,772
[doorbell dings]
347
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,653
- These are for you.
- You are a darling.
348
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,241
- And I've brought you a couple of books.
- Oh! Thank you.
349
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,534
You want something to drink?
350
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,786
Oh. I'd love some tea.
351
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,080
- Herbal tea if you have it.
- Sure.
352
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,165
- I'll put these in a vase.
- Okay.
353
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,961
And all of this is for you.
354
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,504
You have to finish all of it.
355
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,840
Wow! Well, I will do my best.
356
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,466
I love fruit.
357
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,301
[Martha and Ingrid laugh]
358
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,097
Are you working on something new?
359
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,057
Um, yeah, actually I am.
360
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,185
I'm doing research
on the painter Dora Carrington
361
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,187
and her, um... Mm
362
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,524
intense relationship with
the writer Lytton Strachey.
363
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,192
- Mm-hm.
- Here he is.
364
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,194
Uh, Strachey was gay,
365
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:17,574
so she married the straight man
that he was infatuated with.
366
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,451
It's gonna be the story of the trio.
367
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:23,788
It isn't groundbreaking,
but I want to see where it takes me.
368
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,415
Here, um, look.
369
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,791
Um, unfortunately for her,
370
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,377
there was another
more famous painter...
371
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,879
- Leonora Carrington. Yeah.
- Yes,
372
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,630
the surrealist Leonora Carrington,
373
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,716
whose name was obviously
very similar to hers.
374
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,010
[Ingrid] Um...
375
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,803
Dora
376
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,723
was better known for this
377
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,100
bizarre love story with Strachey.
378
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,314
She devoted 17 years of her life to him.
379
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,523
- Wow.
- Mm.
380
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,400
It'll be a fictionalized biography, so...
381
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,944
I'll make some stuff up, too.
382
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,532
I've never been able to allow myself that.
383
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,161
Mm. Well, I hope not.
384
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,454
You're a war reporter.
385
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,706
Yeah, you have to...
386
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,808
You know, you can't show your emotions.
387
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,795
You have to block them out
so you can do your job
388
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,506
and stay in the present
in the middle of whatever hell.
389
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,051
Maybe I should write about you
and not Carrington.
390
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:21,387
I don't think you'd enjoy
writing about illnesses and treatments.
391
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,806
- Mm. You're wrong.
- I'm just a journalist,
392
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,434
addicted to wars and adrenaline.
393
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,311
You think that's nothing?
394
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,273
It wasn't all tragedy.
395
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:33,733
You know, life went on.
396
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:39,155
There was one report
when I added a bit of fiction.
397
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,034
- Really?
- Actually, I never published it.
398
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,996
It was during the war in Iraq.
399
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,458
On the last day, before we left Baghdad.
400
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,210
Are you sure this is the right way?
401
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:55,088
Yeah, just make a left here in this alley.
402
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,674
Let's make this brief.
403
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,261
Here. Stop here.
404
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,596
[brakes screech]
405
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,852
[speaking Spanish]
406
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,191
Martin, what are you doing
here in Baghdad?
407
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:18,861
You look great. You really do.
408
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:19,946
Thank you.
409
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,948
Yeah, I'm sorry. Paco, Martin.
410
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,366
He's a Carmelite, like me.
411
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,368
Pleasure. Let me introduce you
to Martha.
412
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,745
She is a brilliant journalist
from The New York Times.
413
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,122
[speaking Spanish]
414
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,016
They are the Carmelites
I was telling you about.
415
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,360
It's a pleasure to meet you both.
416
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,460
Are you intending to stay in Baghdad?
417
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:36,295
Yes, here we are.
418
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:37,380
But you're alone.
419
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,341
All the NGOs and the Red Cross
have left already.
420
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,260
I know.
421
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,555
The situation is out of control.
It's very dangerous.
422
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,639
You're here as well.
423
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:47,992
Yeah, but we're just passing through.
424
00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:50,560
We're leaving as soon as
we finish talking to you.
425
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,395
We can't let them down now,
426
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:53,958
this is when the people need us most.
427
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:57,817
That's true, but it's still
extremely dangerous.
428
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:00,528
But then you know that.
429
00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:03,406
We can't let them down now, señora.
430
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,409
Do you mind if we take a photo of you
431
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,327
and how the mission has been left?
432
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,704
[speaking Spanish]
433
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,080
Okay.
434
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,416
You can photograph the mission and me,
435
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,836
but he doesn't want to risk
his family in Spain seeing him.
436
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:18,230
- They'd worry.
- Yeah, of course.
437
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,941
Totally understand, but if we could
get one of you, that would be great.
438
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:22,383
- [Bernardo] Okay.
- Sure.
439
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:23,569
[mechanical whirring in distance]
440
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:24,953
- [Bernardo] Here?
- [Martin] Yeah.
441
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,514
Just perhaps a little tiny step closer...
442
00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:30,409
Yeah, that's fine,
so that I can see the impacts.
443
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:31,433
[camera shutter clicking]
444
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,270
[laughs]
445
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,273
I think you have it.
446
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:40,902
How long has it been
447
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,196
since we last saw each other?
448
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,322
Five years.
449
00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,199
Five years.
450
00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:48,367
Wow.
451
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:50,828
Do you remember Liberia?
452
00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:52,872
How could I forget?
453
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,418
Look, I have some photos of you
that we didn't publish.
454
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:00,797
If you give me an address,
I can send them to you.
455
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:01,881
Maybe to the Embassy.
456
00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:03,049
No, you keep them.
457
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,551
That way I'll keep you company.
458
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:07,677
Okay.
459
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:11,474
It was really great seeing you.
460
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,184
Take care.
461
00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:14,685
- Goodbye.
- Be safe.
462
00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:20,817
How do you know the Carmelite?
463
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,113
We met in Sierra Leone.
464
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:28,616
We became lovers there.
465
00:23:29,367 --> 00:23:30,993
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
466
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:33,830
After that, we met more times.
467
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,833
Always in places that were at war.
468
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,167
And you had sex?
469
00:23:38,251 --> 00:23:40,670
Well, of course, yeah.
470
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,839
Bernardo never renounced
physical pleasure.
471
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,551
He was always in
the most conflictive places.
472
00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:49,470
And I think that sex was his best shield.
473
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,308
I'm pretty sure
the Carmelite is his partner.
474
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,518
You think so?
475
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:56,644
Definitely.
476
00:23:57,854 --> 00:23:59,456
That is the only way
you can stay in Baghdad
477
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,640
and not be afraid of the war.
478
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,068
- What a wonderful story.
- Yup.
479
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,113
Don't you dare write it.
480
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:09,240
No, no, no, of course not.
481
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,287
But how about sin for him?
482
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,361
I mean, don't they feel guilty?
483
00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:17,748
After all, they are Catholic.
484
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,251
Yeah, I don't know.
He never talked about that.
485
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,130
With all the horrors you see in war,
486
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:27,842
feeling guilty about having sex
doesn't really carry much weight,
487
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:30,261
you simply get used to it.
488
00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:32,513
I know that.
489
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,602
I wrote their story,
490
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:40,021
their love story, as I imagined it,
491
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:42,857
but it stayed in my computer.
492
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:49,363
So, you're gonna write about
Dora Carrington's insane love.
493
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:52,074
[Ingrid] Mm-hm.
And her connection to Virginia Woolf,
494
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:55,369
who Strachey also pursued romantically.
495
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,871
[Martha] What a group!
496
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,915
I so admire their freedom.
497
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,125
[Ingrid] Strachey died of stomach cancer
498
00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:03,419
18 years after meeting Dora
499
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:06,297
and Dora survived him
by barely two months
500
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:08,591
before she shot herself in the stomach.
501
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,092
She was only 38.
502
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:13,930
I'm struck by the symmetry
of that kind of gesture,
503
00:25:14,472 --> 00:25:15,640
his stomach cancer
504
00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:17,850
and her shooting herself in the stomach.
505
00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:19,602
I know, it struck me, too.
506
00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:23,940
I wonder what Virginia Woolf
thought of Carrington's death?
507
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,609
Maybe Virginia saw
508
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,486
a kind of warning,
509
00:25:28,569 --> 00:25:31,155
a mirror that reflected her?
510
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,239
As if they were fated?
511
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,994
Do you think I'm fated, too?
512
00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:39,830
No! Of course not.
513
00:25:39,914 --> 00:25:42,416
I've never known anyone
more alive than you.
514
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,086
This week I'm starting
a new experimental
515
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,380
- immunotherapy treatment.
- Uh-huh.
516
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:48,506
They've already tried it
517
00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:51,300
and it seems to work well
with cases of cervical cancer.
518
00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:53,219
- Well, that's great news!
- Yeah.
519
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,530
Let me know
when I can come and visit you,
520
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:56,722
- okay?
- I will.
521
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,477
- Talking of symmetry...
- Mm-hmm?
522
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,603
Do you remember...
523
00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:04,855
Damian Cunningham?
524
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,733
How can I forget?
525
00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:10,361
I inherited him from you. [Laughs]
526
00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,154
The shared lover.
527
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,698
- Well, I...
- I have to say
528
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:15,491
I felt terrible when you got together
529
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:16,867
after I'd been with him.
530
00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:19,346
Okay, we didn't share him exactly
because you'd already broken up
531
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,430
and you were out of the country.
532
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:21,956
I would never go back with him
533
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:24,542
and, to tell the truth, I was never faithful.
534
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:30,256
But he was a passionate
and enthusiastic lover
535
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,383
and I hope he was for you, too.
536
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:33,551
I had no complaints.
537
00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:35,636
[both laughing]
538
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,848
[indistinct chatter]
539
00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:50,276
Hi.
540
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:53,946
What is it?
541
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:56,991
It hasn't worked.
542
00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:00,286
I've got metastases in my liver
543
00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:02,246
- and in my bones.
- Oh, Martha.
544
00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:04,248
I should have followed my first instinct.
545
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:06,917
Should never have put myself
through this torture.
546
00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:09,462
This diarrhea, vomiting, fatigue
547
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,005
to end up like this.
548
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:13,924
I should never have given in
to false hopes.
549
00:27:14,008 --> 00:27:15,259
Okay. Okay.
550
00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:17,261
All right, what does the doctor say?
551
00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:18,554
Tell me.
552
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,556
Oh, that I could live for months,
553
00:27:21,182 --> 00:27:22,183
maybe a year.
554
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:25,311
He wants me to continue
with the treatment,
555
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:26,896
even though it looks hopeless.
556
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:28,397
Maybe it will work this time.
557
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,483
I don't wanna wallow in self-pity.
558
00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:39,325
But I'm not a stoic. I'm sorry.
559
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:42,078
I don't wanna go through
excruciating pain.
560
00:27:43,621 --> 00:27:46,082
You can't be self-possessed
if you're in agony.
561
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:48,376
You can't think straight.
562
00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:50,836
You can only think of one thing
563
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,296
the fucking cancer.
564
00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:53,964
[sighs]
565
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:56,759
I've always taken care of my health,
566
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,011
now I regret it.
567
00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:01,430
The doctor says I have a strong heart.
568
00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:02,723
What does that mean?
569
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,600
My body is just gonna go on fighting
570
00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:08,104
while I suffer and suffer
until my last breath?
571
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:09,230
[sobs]
572
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,398
I don't know.
573
00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,901
I don't know how to help you.
574
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,404
I'm so sorry.
575
00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:23,619
I think I deserve a good death.
576
00:28:26,247 --> 00:28:29,083
At least one without convulsions
in my last moments.
577
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:31,836
Going out with a little bit of dignity,
578
00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:33,504
clean and dry.
579
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:38,592
- But I know I'm asking too much...
- [door opens]
580
00:28:38,676 --> 00:28:40,028
[nurse] What are you doing up, Martha?
581
00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:41,720
I'm fucking over this.
582
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:44,348
- Can you help her, please?
- Of course.
583
00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:45,683
Let's get you back in bed.
584
00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:47,768
[Ingrid] Come on. Let me help you.
585
00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:50,187
Bring it on.
586
00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:51,814
Here we go.
587
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,735
I'll end up turning into a junkie.
588
00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:58,028
[sighs]
589
00:28:58,112 --> 00:29:00,072
I am one already, I guess.
590
00:29:00,156 --> 00:29:02,908
It's okay. Really.
591
00:29:02,992 --> 00:29:04,994
[nurse] Here, this will help.
592
00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:44,366
Are you still here?
593
00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:46,869
Yes.
594
00:29:50,331 --> 00:29:52,249
Should I ask them to bring your dinner?
595
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:54,668
Are you hungry?
596
00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:56,420
No.
597
00:29:59,507 --> 00:30:00,508
Ingrid...
598
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:05,054
Do you think I need to say goodbye
599
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:06,514
to my closest friends?
600
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,391
I think you should do
whatever you wanna do.
601
00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:13,020
I just want peace and quiet.
602
00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:18,108
Have you thought about
how you wanna spend your time?
603
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:21,153
And where?
604
00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:23,656
Is there some place you'd like to go?
605
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:25,866
Look.
606
00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:32,998
Pink snowflakes.
607
00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:38,587
There had to be something good
about climate change.
608
00:30:40,798 --> 00:30:41,840
Well...
609
00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:45,094
I've lived to see that.
610
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:53,102
You remember the end
of Joyce's The Dead?
611
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:54,895
[sniffles, voice breaks] Vaguely.
612
00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:58,107
"The snow was falling,"
613
00:30:59,817 --> 00:31:02,278
falling on the lonely churchyard,
614
00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:06,448
falling faintly through the universe.
615
00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:10,661
And faintly falling,
616
00:31:11,412 --> 00:31:14,540
like the descent of their last end,
617
00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:21,422
"on all the living and the dead."
618
00:31:24,842 --> 00:31:25,843
[gulps]
619
00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:27,469
It's getting late and, uh...
620
00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:29,763
I should be going.
621
00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:33,642
[Ingrid sniffles]
622
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:38,814
Thank you.
623
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:41,942
I'll see you tomorrow.
624
00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:44,027
[kisses]
625
00:32:29,031 --> 00:32:31,742
There's still a half an hour
before the movie starts.
626
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:33,994
Should we go in and get
our seats before the rush?
627
00:32:34,078 --> 00:32:36,121
No. I wanna talk to you about something.
628
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:37,790
Okay.
629
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:40,209
I will not go out in mortifying anguish.
630
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,711
I've gotten hold of a euthanasia pill.
631
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:44,672
Don't ask me how,
632
00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:47,049
on the dark web
you can find almost anything.
633
00:32:47,675 --> 00:32:51,136
I also have an abundance of opioids
for the moments of pain.
634
00:32:51,220 --> 00:32:52,447
And don't look at me like that,
635
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,807
I'm not asking you
to convince me otherwise.
636
00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:57,059
I don't know what to say.
637
00:32:57,851 --> 00:32:59,186
I'm hoping you'll say yes.
638
00:33:00,229 --> 00:33:01,230
Yes to what?
639
00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:03,565
To my asking you to help me.
640
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,651
Help you what?
641
00:33:06,944 --> 00:33:11,031
I've faced death several times,
but I've always been accompanied.
642
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:15,244
We reporters formed
a kind of mobile family.
643
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:18,747
This is another war,
644
00:33:19,790 --> 00:33:21,083
I'm not afraid of it.
645
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:22,835
But
646
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:25,003
like the other times I faced death...
647
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:28,924
I don't wanna be alone, Ingrid.
648
00:33:31,427 --> 00:33:32,803
I'm asking you
649
00:33:33,721 --> 00:33:35,764
to be in the next room.
650
00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:38,851
I think we should go get our seats.
651
00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:41,687
Yeah, sure,
but I prefer to go on talking to you,
652
00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:42,938
if you don't mind.
653
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:46,984
Okay. Um...
654
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,529
Do you know when you wanna do this?
655
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:52,489
Not exactly.
656
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,533
Within a month?
657
00:33:56,618 --> 00:33:59,663
Before I start to deteriorate
and you don't recognize me.
658
00:34:00,748 --> 00:34:03,917
These next weeks
I should be reasonably well,
659
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:06,420
but I wanna do it soon.
660
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:10,090
My doctors think that I'm gonna return
to complete the treatment.
661
00:34:10,841 --> 00:34:13,218
It's best they don't suspect anything.
662
00:34:14,136 --> 00:34:15,971
Where do you wanna do it?
663
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,347
I don't wanna be at home.
664
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:22,770
And I don't wanna go back
to anywhere I've been happy.
665
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:29,067
It's always a mistake to return
to some place you've been truly happy.
666
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:31,612
You just ruin the good memories
of the first time.
667
00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:33,363
No, I understand that.
668
00:34:33,447 --> 00:34:36,658
I think it will be easier
for me to let myself go
669
00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:40,871
if I'm not surrounded by familiar things,
670
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:42,122
intimate things.
671
00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:44,958
I think that would hold me back.
672
00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:50,506
I prefer some unknown place,
673
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,342
comfortable and safe,
674
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:56,011
and not too far away.
675
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,056
Do you need my help finding a place
676
00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:01,350
or getting you settled in?
677
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,893
No, no, no.
678
00:35:03,644 --> 00:35:05,145
No, I can take care of that part.
679
00:35:06,897 --> 00:35:09,775
What I need is somebody
to be there with me,
680
00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:12,444
in the room next door.
681
00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:16,907
Wouldn't you prefer
someone you're closer to?
682
00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,325
We're very close.
683
00:35:18,408 --> 00:35:20,452
No, yes, of course, of course we are.
684
00:35:20,536 --> 00:35:22,871
[stammers] Oh, my God,
we're very close. I just...
685
00:35:22,955 --> 00:35:24,998
There were years where
we didn't see each other.
686
00:35:25,082 --> 00:35:26,083
[sharp inhale]
687
00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:27,668
What about Stella?
688
00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:29,044
[stammering] Or Maggie?
689
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,128
Or Vanessa?
690
00:35:30,212 --> 00:35:32,297
You've all been friends
since you were kids.
691
00:35:32,381 --> 00:35:34,716
I admit I thought of them first.
692
00:35:35,759 --> 00:35:37,469
I asked all three of them.
693
00:35:37,553 --> 00:35:40,848
They all were horrified
and they all said no.
694
00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:43,267
They understood it,
695
00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:45,561
but they said they could never be a part
696
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,521
of helping me take my own life.
697
00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:49,147
Absolutely not.
698
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,471
- What about your daughter?
- It wouldn't be fair to her.
699
00:35:52,860 --> 00:35:54,361
I've been an absent mother.
700
00:35:54,987 --> 00:35:56,780
I don't wanna impose my dying on her.
701
00:35:56,864 --> 00:36:01,076
You could at least consult her
and let her be a part of it.
702
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:02,870
We're two strangers, Ingrid.
703
00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:08,292
She made that clear when I told her
about my doubts about the treatment.
704
00:36:09,418 --> 00:36:11,086
"It's your choice," she said.
705
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,006
And she's right.
706
00:36:14,590 --> 00:36:15,591
Right.
707
00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:28,645
- [horns blaring]
- [wind whooshing]
708
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:36,236
[breathing heavily]
709
00:36:42,326 --> 00:36:43,785
No matter what,
710
00:36:44,578 --> 00:36:46,747
people want you to keep fighting.
711
00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:51,209
This is the way we've
been taught to see cancer.
712
00:36:52,336 --> 00:36:56,924
As a fight... between patient and disease,
713
00:36:57,549 --> 00:37:00,010
which is to say between good and evil.
714
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:03,013
If you survive, you're a hero.
715
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:05,974
If you lose, well,
716
00:37:07,601 --> 00:37:09,394
perhaps you didn't fight hard enough.
717
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,815
People don't like using words like
718
00:37:13,899 --> 00:37:17,069
"terminal" or "incurable."
719
00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:18,987
They call that defeatist talk.
720
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:23,533
Some of the worst stuff comes from
the cancer support community.
721
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,162
Some of them think
of your cancer as a gift,
722
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:29,957
an opportunity for spiritual growth.
723
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,124
Bullshit!
724
00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:35,003
People should see
this is my way of fighting.
725
00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:40,300
Cancer can't get me if I get me first.
726
00:37:43,053 --> 00:37:45,555
And what's the point in waiting
727
00:37:46,807 --> 00:37:48,141
when I'm so ready to go?
728
00:37:49,893 --> 00:37:52,145
Are you completely sure you're ready?
729
00:37:52,229 --> 00:37:53,271
Totally.
730
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,482
Since the first diagnosis.
731
00:37:58,235 --> 00:38:00,654
You know I have a terrible fear of death.
732
00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:01,822
I know.
733
00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:03,240
I've read your book.
734
00:38:03,323 --> 00:38:05,158
That's why I didn't ask you first.
735
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:08,662
But you understand me,
736
00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:10,038
- don't you?
- I do, I do.
737
00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:12,416
I envy you. You're in control of your life.
738
00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:16,044
I only need you to accompany me
the days leading to it,
739
00:38:16,128 --> 00:38:17,754
as if we were on vacation.
740
00:38:18,839 --> 00:38:21,508
I just wanna know that, when it happens,
741
00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:23,552
there'll be someone in the next room.
742
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,137
It terrifies me, Martha.
743
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,221
I understand.
744
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:28,140
I think that you have every right to do this
745
00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:29,266
and I admire you for it,
746
00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:31,768
but I don't know that I can be
the one to find you dead.
747
00:38:31,852 --> 00:38:32,936
I'm not that strong.
748
00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:34,896
You're much stronger
than you think you are.
749
00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:39,985
Anyway, I had to try.
750
00:38:42,404 --> 00:38:43,488
[Ingrid sighs]
751
00:38:44,031 --> 00:38:47,159
I can't answer you now, Martha,
but I promise you I'll think about it.
752
00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:49,911
Right now I'm too confused
and too terrified.
753
00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:51,538
I understand.
754
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:53,373
I understand it's sudden,
755
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:57,127
and it's disconcerting.
756
00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:02,716
I'll think of someone.
757
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,603
I wasn't too much?
758
00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,063
No, no.
759
00:39:51,431 --> 00:39:53,266
[line ringing]
760
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:56,728
Martha?
761
00:39:56,812 --> 00:39:58,081
[Martha over phone] Hello, Ingrid.
762
00:39:58,105 --> 00:39:59,439
I've made up my mind.
763
00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:03,859
Come on in.
764
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:06,696
The owner is a jewelry designer.
765
00:40:07,447 --> 00:40:10,242
She is a friend of mine,
so I don't pay much rent.
766
00:40:10,325 --> 00:40:11,325
[Damian] Mm.
767
00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:13,912
You get the impression
it's been furnished
768
00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:15,372
with stuff from the garbage.
769
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:17,415
Not everything.
770
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,044
And it takes talent to pick stuff
out of the garbage.
771
00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:23,171
You haven't finished moving in.
772
00:40:24,089 --> 00:40:25,132
Do you want a hand?
773
00:40:25,215 --> 00:40:26,216
[Ingrid] Uh...
774
00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,176
No. [Sighs]
775
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:31,721
I'll do it after.
776
00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:36,601
And, even so, you're going with Martha.
777
00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:39,896
[sighs] She is totally alone, Damian.
778
00:40:40,647 --> 00:40:42,941
None of her friends
are helping her with this.
779
00:40:43,024 --> 00:40:45,110
She even told me
I wasn't her first choice.
780
00:40:46,236 --> 00:40:48,405
It's like her daughter doesn't even exist.
781
00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:49,608
In the years I was with her,
782
00:40:49,656 --> 00:40:51,533
she never told me she had a daughter.
783
00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:52,784
I know, it's a...
784
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:54,786
It's a sad story.
785
00:40:54,870 --> 00:40:58,081
It's a terrible, terrible misunderstanding.
786
00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:03,295
Have you told her that we're in touch?
787
00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:04,880
Uh...
788
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,006
No...
789
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:08,633
Um, we've talked about you
in a... in a general way.
790
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:10,719
- She has nice memories of you.
- Oh. Really?
791
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,222
Our relationship was mostly physical.
792
00:41:14,306 --> 00:41:16,308
She was always about to go off
somewhere else,
793
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:21,479
that's why our lovemaking
had that sense of urgency.
794
00:41:21,563 --> 00:41:23,857
It was like having sex with a terrorist
795
00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:25,358
it always felt like the last time.
796
00:41:25,442 --> 00:41:27,861
Well, she rates you
pretty highly as a lover.
797
00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:29,584
I'd like to know what rating you give me.
798
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:31,740
Oh, I can't believe
you're still flirting with me.
799
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:34,534
- I'm serious.
- No, no, you're not serious.
800
00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,703
What's serious is Martha's situation.
801
00:41:37,287 --> 00:41:39,080
And your being terrified of death?
802
00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,583
You just published a book about that.
803
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,668
Have you overcome that
thanks to the book?
804
00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,921
- No.
- [cell phone ringing]
805
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:57,098
Hi. How are you?
806
00:41:57,182 --> 00:41:58,516
Better.
807
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,685
Much better since you said yes.
808
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:03,063
Where are you? Are you at home?
809
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,314
Yeah.
810
00:42:04,397 --> 00:42:05,941
I'm watering the plants.
811
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,652
Oh, I thought you had someone
who did that for you.
812
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:09,735
I do.
813
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:13,031
But today I felt like doing it
and I am enjoying it.
814
00:42:13,114 --> 00:42:15,325
Okay. Good.
815
00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:18,995
Um, have you... Have you
decided where we're going?
816
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:20,956
That's why I called.
817
00:42:21,957 --> 00:42:25,543
It's, uh, near Woodstock,
it's about two hours from the city.
818
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:27,629
It looks fantastic. Uh...
819
00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:31,549
It's a bit expensive,
but, hey, the occasion calls for it.
820
00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:33,051
[Martha laughs]
821
00:42:33,635 --> 00:42:35,929
So, do you know how long...
822
00:42:36,012 --> 00:42:37,555
I've rented it for a month.
823
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:40,141
That should give me
more than enough time.
824
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:41,226
A month?
825
00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:44,354
Yeah. My blood count's low
826
00:42:44,437 --> 00:42:46,898
and I have to take a break
before I start the new treatment
827
00:42:46,982 --> 00:42:50,068
and you are the only one who knows
I'm not going back to the hospital.
828
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:52,946
It's not like I've picked a date.
829
00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:53,905
I mean,
830
00:42:53,989 --> 00:42:55,949
you'll never know it anyway.
831
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:59,327
But... I'm ready to go.
832
00:43:01,037 --> 00:43:02,789
I would even say I'm impatient.
833
00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,500
I'm gonna be giving a lecture
834
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,585
near Woodstock at Bard in two weeks,
835
00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:08,920
so we can see each other.
836
00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:12,882
Mm, I don't think that's a good idea,
I'll be with Martha all the time.
837
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:14,718
I'll call you if I can.
838
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:16,460
You're going to need a lawyer.
839
00:43:16,970 --> 00:43:18,972
Yes, I should look for one.
840
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:22,142
Let me help you with that,
but I'll have to fill them in.
841
00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,686
No, no, in that case, no.
842
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,104
This is an absolute secret.
843
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:27,772
Martha doesn't even know I've told you.
844
00:43:27,856 --> 00:43:30,859
Okay. But if you need anything,
you should let me know.
845
00:43:32,694 --> 00:43:34,029
I worry about you.
846
00:43:34,988 --> 00:43:35,988
Thank you.
847
00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:21,618
[birds chirping]
848
00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:35,423
According to this map,
849
00:44:36,132 --> 00:44:38,176
we go up these stairs to enter the house.
850
00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,302
Okay.
851
00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:06,246
[beeps]
852
00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,082
[whirring]
853
00:45:09,165 --> 00:45:10,291
Look at this.
854
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:27,809
[Martha] Wow, it's so beautiful!
855
00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:31,146
It's so much more beautiful
than in the photographs!
856
00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:36,734
Is that a real Hopper?
857
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:38,858
[Ingrid] I don't think
they would have left it here.
858
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:41,322
It's a very good copy.
859
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:42,407
It looks real.
860
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,868
[birds chirping]
861
00:45:53,293 --> 00:45:55,837
[birds chirping loudly]
862
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,599
- Do you hear them?
- Mm-hmm.
863
00:46:07,682 --> 00:46:08,892
Isn't that wonderful?
864
00:46:13,605 --> 00:46:16,524
And we can lie in the sun,
like in the Hopper,
865
00:46:18,193 --> 00:46:20,528
and catch the evening breeze.
866
00:46:21,738 --> 00:46:24,032
[breathing heavily]
867
00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:27,285
Are you okay?
868
00:46:29,746 --> 00:46:30,747
Very happy.
869
00:46:48,890 --> 00:46:50,558
Do you mind if I take this one?
870
00:46:50,642 --> 00:46:52,435
Of course not. It's your house.
871
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:59,526
Mm. This one is a little small,
I'm gonna look downstairs.
872
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:00,609
[Martha] All right.
873
00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,380
I'm gonna take this one, okay?
874
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:22,632
Very good!
875
00:47:24,217 --> 00:47:26,928
You don't mind that
I'm not in the room next door?
876
00:47:27,637 --> 00:47:29,639
I can hear you breathe!
877
00:47:30,557 --> 00:47:32,058
And yell!
878
00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:34,727
[laughs] Okay!
879
00:47:42,944 --> 00:47:45,029
Here we go. [Panting]
880
00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:50,785
Let's get you unpacked.
881
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:51,869
Thank you.
882
00:47:52,745 --> 00:47:54,038
I'll unpack it later.
883
00:47:54,664 --> 00:47:56,874
You're not my caretaker, Ingrid.
884
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,126
You're my guest.
885
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,044
Okay.
886
00:48:00,128 --> 00:48:01,128
Um...
887
00:48:01,170 --> 00:48:02,839
I'll go unpack my things.
888
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:19,522
- [objects clattering]
- [Martha shouts]
889
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,649
- Martha?
- Aah!
890
00:48:25,028 --> 00:48:26,279
[shouts]
891
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,239
What is it, honey?
892
00:48:29,157 --> 00:48:30,575
- You won't believe it!
- What?
893
00:48:30,658 --> 00:48:31,743
I forgot it!
894
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:33,286
[stammers] You forgot what?
895
00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:34,746
The pill, the euthanasia pill!
896
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:37,206
I brought all the others!
We have to go back.
897
00:48:37,290 --> 00:48:39,351
Oh, it's okay, we'll go back
first thing in the morning.
898
00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:40,686
- Don't worry about it.
- No, not tomorrow!
899
00:48:40,710 --> 00:48:42,086
We have to go now!
900
00:48:42,170 --> 00:48:45,965
I just need to be sure
that I didn't lose it or misplace it,
901
00:48:46,049 --> 00:48:48,009
that I didn't just dream it up.
902
00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:49,844
Okay.
903
00:48:55,642 --> 00:48:58,436
Buying another pill would be
extremely complicated.
904
00:48:59,604 --> 00:49:00,605
[sighs]
905
00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:04,442
I have a friend
who knows a mathematician
906
00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,444
who found it on the dark web.
907
00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:09,030
It's all very sordid,
908
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,200
not to mention totally illegal.
909
00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:16,496
It's scary
910
00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:18,915
knowing that all that exists
911
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,668
just behind our computer screens.
912
00:49:24,128 --> 00:49:25,380
I feel like a criminal.
913
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:32,220
I never thought I'd be back here again.
914
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:34,555
With that wonderful skyline.
915
00:49:35,390 --> 00:49:37,642
Life always surprises you.
916
00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:39,227
All right, let's get to work.
917
00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:41,187
- Okay.
- I'll start in the kitchen.
918
00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:42,397
Don't worry, we'll find it.
919
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,249
Just, um... Just try to think
of all the places
920
00:49:44,273 --> 00:49:45,650
you usually hide things.
921
00:49:45,733 --> 00:49:47,453
This is the first thing I have ever hidden.
922
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:48,319
Really?
923
00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:51,072
The only thing I can remember
is I put it in an envelope.
924
00:49:51,698 --> 00:49:53,199
Okay. Uh...
925
00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:54,951
Why don't I start in your office?
926
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:56,387
- Is that okay? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
927
00:49:56,411 --> 00:49:58,830
Where did I put it? Where did I put it?
928
00:50:17,807 --> 00:50:20,101
Oh, my God. [Sighs]
We're never gonna find it.
929
00:51:34,717 --> 00:51:35,843
I found an envelope.
930
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:37,719
That's it!
931
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:39,597
Where did you find it?
932
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:40,848
In your desk.
933
00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:43,392
There was key in a drawer
and I opened it.
934
00:51:44,018 --> 00:51:46,103
How could I have forgotten?
935
00:51:46,187 --> 00:51:47,563
I even left the key in it?
936
00:51:47,647 --> 00:51:49,166
Well, you meant to take it,
at the last minute,
937
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:50,983
you forgot. It's not so weird.
938
00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:54,695
Thank you.
939
00:51:55,696 --> 00:51:57,657
Such a strange sensation.
940
00:51:59,116 --> 00:52:00,993
It's like being here after I'm dead.
941
00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:02,495
Oh, God, don't say that.
942
00:52:03,412 --> 00:52:05,915
It's too soon for you
to refer to yourself as a ghost.
943
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:09,293
Let me straighten up before we leave.
944
00:52:09,377 --> 00:52:10,377
Thank you.
945
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,931
[door closes]
946
00:53:05,641 --> 00:53:07,143
Forgive me for all this hassle.
947
00:53:07,977 --> 00:53:09,228
I'm sorry, really.
948
00:53:09,312 --> 00:53:10,813
[sighs] It's okay.
949
00:53:11,981 --> 00:53:14,358
What a great place to return to.
950
00:53:15,985 --> 00:53:17,403
Stupid fridge.
951
00:53:18,321 --> 00:53:19,363
You need some help?
952
00:53:22,158 --> 00:53:23,158
I got it.
953
00:53:30,249 --> 00:53:31,292
You know, maybe
954
00:53:32,251 --> 00:53:34,670
leaving the pill behind
was a kind of a sign?
955
00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,424
Maybe you're not as ready as you think.
956
00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:43,220
I told you never to say that to me.
957
00:53:45,097 --> 00:53:46,682
I don't remember you telling me that.
958
00:53:49,685 --> 00:53:51,646
I think I've said so many things to you.
959
00:53:53,189 --> 00:53:55,191
That's the problem with chemo brain.
960
00:53:56,943 --> 00:54:00,279
My memory keeps failing me
and I get distracted so easily.
961
00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:06,202
It can continue even
after the treatment stops
962
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:07,954
and it can go on for years.
963
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,790
I'll be spared that, at least.
964
00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:14,710
When I write
965
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:17,171
when I wrote...
966
00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:21,884
I had to proofread a thousand times.
967
00:54:21,968 --> 00:54:24,470
I can't trust my judgement
about anything anymore.
968
00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:25,554
Well...
969
00:54:26,389 --> 00:54:28,975
Then why do you trust this decision?
970
00:54:29,850 --> 00:54:32,061
How do you know
it's not chemo brain, too?
971
00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:37,024
I've left the pill in the top drawer
of the bedside table.
972
00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:41,112
If I forget, which I don't think I will,
973
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:42,196
you will remind me.
974
00:54:43,406 --> 00:54:45,908
And I prefer not to talk
about this anymore.
975
00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:49,537
Well, it's my business, too,
don't you think?
976
00:54:53,124 --> 00:54:54,542
Sure. Of course.
977
00:54:57,003 --> 00:54:59,338
I'll leave a signed letter for the police
978
00:54:59,422 --> 00:55:02,675
telling them everything,
including the name of the pill
979
00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:03,801
and where I got it.
980
00:55:04,677 --> 00:55:07,471
Your name will not appear anywhere.
981
00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:11,809
All you have to do is to say
that you know nothing.
982
00:55:12,435 --> 00:55:13,853
Don't budge from that.
983
00:55:15,229 --> 00:55:17,231
I don't wanna give you
any more information.
984
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:18,649
The less you know, the better.
985
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:21,986
And this is important.
986
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:30,536
I'll sleep with my door open
987
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,830
and the day that you find it closed
988
00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:35,374
is the day it's already happened.
989
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,335
That's the sign, door closed.
990
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,010
I know it's difficult.
991
00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:50,681
But just think we're on vacation.
992
00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:55,311
You can write, we can come and go...
993
00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:58,075
I don't think I'll be able to concentrate.
994
00:56:00,483 --> 00:56:01,901
And if I write,
995
00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:04,254
you might show up in it somewhere
and I don't wanna do that.
996
00:56:04,278 --> 00:56:05,362
Yeah.
997
00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:07,364
That could complicate your life
998
00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:09,241
if the police investigate.
999
00:56:09,325 --> 00:56:10,576
Well, I'm not gonna do it.
1000
00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:11,952
Wait 'til I'm dead.
1001
00:56:12,036 --> 00:56:13,037
Oh, God!
1002
00:56:14,288 --> 00:56:17,792
Can you not say
"wait until I'm dead," please?
1003
00:56:20,086 --> 00:56:21,086
I promise.
1004
00:56:24,131 --> 00:56:25,692
I'd like to find a gym
somewhere around here
1005
00:56:25,716 --> 00:56:27,356
that I can go to a couple of days a week.
1006
00:56:29,637 --> 00:56:30,679
I'm the only one who eats
1007
00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:33,057
and I don't want to gain ten pounds
while you waste away.
1008
00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:34,642
Oh, give me a chance.
1009
00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:35,893
I'll catch up with you.
1010
00:56:39,647 --> 00:56:40,940
Look! I'm eating.
1011
00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:45,820
[Ingrid] I have practically
held death in my hands.
1012
00:56:47,780 --> 00:56:50,741
I never imagined it would be
something so light.
1013
00:57:26,902 --> 00:57:27,903
Martha?
1014
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:31,574
[water running]
1015
00:57:32,366 --> 00:57:33,367
Good morning.
1016
00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:34,493
[Martha] Good morning!
1017
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:36,370
I'm making breakfast.
1018
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:38,747
You want some toast?
1019
00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:40,666
No, just some coffee.
1020
00:57:40,749 --> 00:57:42,084
Help yourself. It's already made.
1021
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:43,919
There's juice, fruit
1022
00:57:44,587 --> 00:57:45,629
whatever you want.
1023
00:57:51,427 --> 00:57:53,679
My behavior yesterday
was unacceptable.
1024
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:57,600
I completely understand
that it drove you crazy.
1025
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:00,186
But in my current state,
1026
00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:02,271
I can't make any promises.
1027
00:58:03,272 --> 00:58:04,440
So, just in case...
1028
00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:10,070
I put a medium range sedative
in this drawer.
1029
00:58:10,779 --> 00:58:12,406
And if you find me unbearable,
1030
00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:15,951
you just have one and you can relax.
1031
00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:17,411
I could have used that last night.
1032
00:58:17,494 --> 00:58:19,246
[laughs] You...
1033
00:58:19,330 --> 00:58:21,749
You're one of a kind, Martha.
You really... You really are.
1034
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:23,918
[birds chirping]
1035
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:25,920
I've made a list of stuff to buy.
1036
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,129
We need a few things.
1037
00:58:28,839 --> 00:58:30,319
Is there anything you want me to get?
1038
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:32,760
Don't think so.
1039
00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:35,656
Do you wanna come
to the store with me?
1040
00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:38,807
Maybe another day.
1041
00:58:39,475 --> 00:58:40,851
It's so nice here.
1042
00:58:42,102 --> 00:58:44,313
I'd like to stay if you don't mind.
1043
00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:45,648
No, of course not.
1044
00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:50,486
I found a gym nearby, too.
1045
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:52,488
That's great.
1046
00:58:52,571 --> 00:58:54,281
I think that's a very good idea.
1047
00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:58,661
Okay, well...
1048
00:59:00,246 --> 00:59:02,456
I have my phone with me
if you need anything.
1049
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:04,333
Thanks, love.
1050
00:59:11,006 --> 00:59:12,091
[sighs]
1051
00:59:20,307 --> 00:59:21,141
Hi.
1052
00:59:21,225 --> 00:59:23,018
I was hoping I could use the gym today.
1053
00:59:23,102 --> 00:59:24,103
Are you a member?
1054
00:59:24,186 --> 00:59:25,705
Uh, no. I'm just in town for a little bit.
1055
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:27,564
If you use one of our personal trainers,
1056
00:59:27,648 --> 00:59:28,857
you don't need to be a member.
1057
00:59:28,941 --> 00:59:31,402
Um, okay. I'll use
one of your trainers then.
1058
00:59:31,485 --> 00:59:33,279
You'll like Jonah, you'll see.
1059
00:59:34,196 --> 00:59:35,114
Thanks.
1060
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:38,075
So, would you like to start
a warm up doing steps?
1061
00:59:38,158 --> 00:59:39,868
- Okay.
- Is okay?
1062
00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:43,038
Do you think you can do this
for 30 seconds?
1063
00:59:43,122 --> 00:59:45,749
- Um, sure. All right.
- Okay, go for it. Have a try.
1064
00:59:46,834 --> 00:59:49,336
And we are on. Okay, nice.
1065
00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:50,772
- Keep focus on your leg.
- Mm-hmm.
1066
00:59:50,796 --> 00:59:52,339
And, if you can, move your arm...
1067
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,757
- Okay.
- Okay, with each step.
1068
00:59:55,134 --> 00:59:56,135
And we are done.
1069
00:59:56,844 --> 00:59:59,722
Nice. You're pretty strong,
you young lady.
1070
00:59:59,805 --> 01:00:01,557
[panting] What I am is winded.
1071
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,226
Well, if you want,
there are other variations we can do.
1072
01:00:04,310 --> 01:00:05,602
[pants]
1073
01:00:05,686 --> 01:00:07,438
I mean, you can go try like this.
1074
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:08,814
You can go back and forth.
1075
01:00:09,523 --> 01:00:12,192
Or you can jump on it and go left
1076
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:14,987
and right or back and on the box.
1077
01:00:15,070 --> 01:00:16,780
- Okay. Okay.
- Have a try one more.
1078
01:00:16,864 --> 01:00:19,116
- [panting]
- Nice.
1079
01:00:20,075 --> 01:00:21,469
- Focus on your core here.
- Uh-huh.
1080
01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:22,703
And breathe.
1081
01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:24,204
[Jonah breathing deeply]
1082
01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:26,165
Inhale and exhale.
1083
01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:28,667
- [panting]
- [Jonah breathing deeply]
1084
01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:29,835
Perfect. One more.
1085
01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:31,879
[panting]
1086
01:00:34,006 --> 01:00:35,049
Is everything okay?
1087
01:00:35,716 --> 01:00:37,760
[panting]
1088
01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:42,890
When the body is in great shape,
it takes longer to die.
1089
01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:47,353
When death comes,
1090
01:00:47,436 --> 01:00:49,938
the mind wants to go,
but the body keeps fighting.
1091
01:00:50,773 --> 01:00:53,400
Heart beating "no" with every beat.
1092
01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:55,152
Well
1093
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:57,696
all the more reason to look after yourself.
1094
01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:00,282
I live with a friend who's dying.
1095
01:01:00,366 --> 01:01:01,366
I'm sorry.
1096
01:01:02,493 --> 01:01:04,411
Come. Let's have a seat.
1097
01:01:04,995 --> 01:01:05,995
Come here.
1098
01:01:08,207 --> 01:01:09,416
[sighs, sniffles]
1099
01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:12,252
Is there anything that I can do?
1100
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:16,382
[sighs]
1101
01:01:18,550 --> 01:01:19,885
I wish I could give you a hug,
1102
01:01:21,095 --> 01:01:23,097
but we're not allowed
to touch clients anymore
1103
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,432
because of the lawsuits and whatever.
1104
01:01:28,727 --> 01:01:29,770
And it's a problem,
1105
01:01:31,188 --> 01:01:33,041
because it can be hard
to correct people's posture
1106
01:01:33,065 --> 01:01:34,191
with just words
1107
01:01:34,942 --> 01:01:36,777
and touching is so important.
1108
01:01:38,112 --> 01:01:40,114
This world is absurd and inhumane.
1109
01:01:40,739 --> 01:01:43,033
I don't see it improving any time soon.
1110
01:01:45,411 --> 01:01:46,954
But thank you, I feel hugged.
1111
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:48,914
[chuckles]
1112
01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:52,334
[indistinct chatter]
1113
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:57,172
Oh, I've been meaning to read this book.
1114
01:01:57,923 --> 01:02:00,717
Isn't it a wonderful title? Erotic Vagrancy.
1115
01:02:00,801 --> 01:02:01,802
Do you wanna buy it?
1116
01:02:04,096 --> 01:02:05,472
I won't have time to finish it.
1117
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,648
I like the way it's laid out here.
1118
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:15,732
[Ingrid] Mm.
1119
01:02:15,816 --> 01:02:16,859
Oh, look.
1120
01:02:17,443 --> 01:02:18,694
Martha Gellhorn.
1121
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,238
The View from the Ground.
1122
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:27,411
She wrote that you only ever
truly love one war,
1123
01:02:28,078 --> 01:02:30,038
after that you're just doing your duty.
1124
01:02:32,291 --> 01:02:33,667
Which one was yours?
1125
01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,254
Bosnia, without a doubt.
1126
01:02:43,010 --> 01:02:45,804
The fight to survive
by the Bosnian people
1127
01:02:45,888 --> 01:02:47,931
against a perfectly equipped army
1128
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:52,478
stole the hearts of all of us
who witnessed the extermination.
1129
01:02:53,145 --> 01:02:56,023
There are very few women
war correspondents.
1130
01:02:57,232 --> 01:02:59,026
War is a man's thing.
1131
01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:01,945
You have to sort of become
one of the guys
1132
01:03:02,029 --> 01:03:03,906
and it was never a problem for me,
1133
01:03:03,989 --> 01:03:05,616
I've always lived like a man.
1134
01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:10,329
Actually, I think
what Michelle really missed
1135
01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:13,790
was having a maternal figure in her life.
1136
01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:19,296
And in this, I must admit
that she... she was right.
1137
01:03:20,088 --> 01:03:21,632
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1138
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,348
Hey, look who's coming to town!
1139
01:03:29,431 --> 01:03:31,350
The life of the party!
1140
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:32,768
"How bad can it get?
1141
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,270
Navigating urban life with integrity."
1142
01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:36,355
You feel like going?
1143
01:03:36,438 --> 01:03:38,232
No, you know what? I've heard it already
1144
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:40,150
and it's not an evening I'd like to repeat.
1145
01:03:40,234 --> 01:03:42,569
We all have
our own personal apocalypses.
1146
01:03:42,653 --> 01:03:44,404
Are you having an awful time with me?
1147
01:03:44,488 --> 01:03:47,115
No, no, I meant him, his lecture.
1148
01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:48,992
Global crisis, climate change.
1149
01:03:49,076 --> 01:03:50,369
Yeah.
1150
01:03:50,452 --> 01:03:51,620
Hi.
1151
01:03:51,703 --> 01:03:52,746
I love your hair.
1152
01:03:53,413 --> 01:03:54,413
Nice.
1153
01:04:05,509 --> 01:04:07,511
When the nightmares come rushing in,
1154
01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:11,181
I think about all the men I've loved.
1155
01:04:11,265 --> 01:04:12,766
[laughs] It sounds like a song.
1156
01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:14,726
[laughs] A good one.
1157
01:04:17,187 --> 01:04:19,147
Even if it was just for one night.
1158
01:04:20,566 --> 01:04:23,360
[sighs] Sometimes I think about Damian.
1159
01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:32,869
I still think sex is the best way
to fend off looming thoughts of death.
1160
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:36,540
Like those Spanish Carmelites.
1161
01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:41,420
Wars turned me into
a promiscuous woman, Ingrid.
1162
01:04:41,503 --> 01:04:42,879
- Good.
- [laughs]
1163
01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:46,592
Are you still in touch with him?
1164
01:04:46,675 --> 01:04:48,302
- With who?
- Damian.
1165
01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:50,596
Um...
1166
01:04:51,305 --> 01:04:52,723
You know, from time to time.
1167
01:04:55,309 --> 01:04:58,270
"How bad can it get?" [scoffs]
1168
01:04:59,730 --> 01:05:00,772
Well
1169
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:04,818
much worse than you imagine,
Damian, honey.
1170
01:05:08,530 --> 01:05:09,531
Hey.
1171
01:05:10,741 --> 01:05:11,741
Are you all right?
1172
01:05:12,701 --> 01:05:13,827
I was trying to write.
1173
01:05:15,454 --> 01:05:16,455
I can't.
1174
01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:23,128
In this war, I'm incapable
of writing anything.
1175
01:05:23,879 --> 01:05:24,921
What about reading?
1176
01:05:26,214 --> 01:05:27,215
You love to read.
1177
01:05:27,966 --> 01:05:29,134
I've tried.
1178
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:33,347
I've tried with some of
my favorite writers.
1179
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:38,018
The spell just isn't there anymore.
1180
01:05:40,771 --> 01:05:42,564
I'm talking about Faulkner,
1181
01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:45,067
Hemingway...
1182
01:05:46,985 --> 01:05:48,403
I can't concentrate.
1183
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:53,325
My mind just flies off into the void.
1184
01:05:54,618 --> 01:05:56,161
If you're too tired,
1185
01:05:57,663 --> 01:05:58,705
I could read to you.
1186
01:06:01,792 --> 01:06:02,793
Not just reading,
1187
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,338
all pleasure's been reduced.
1188
01:06:08,924 --> 01:06:12,386
It's hard to know
what to pay attention to anymore.
1189
01:06:15,639 --> 01:06:16,973
I have very little time,
1190
01:06:18,100 --> 01:06:19,434
and I don't want to waste it.
1191
01:06:21,603 --> 01:06:23,063
Okay. Um...
1192
01:06:26,483 --> 01:06:29,778
What about music?
1193
01:06:32,364 --> 01:06:34,491
I can only listen to the birds singing.
1194
01:06:35,784 --> 01:06:38,954
Well, luckily, they give us
a serenade every day.
1195
01:06:39,037 --> 01:06:41,498
Music decenters me.
1196
01:06:42,207 --> 01:06:45,043
It comes between me
and whatever it is I'm doing,
1197
01:06:45,127 --> 01:06:46,670
even if it's just thinking.
1198
01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:51,299
Maybe the chemo
is affecting my hearing.
1199
01:06:51,383 --> 01:06:52,551
Oh, honey.
1200
01:06:53,802 --> 01:06:56,722
I've been reduced to very little of myself.
1201
01:07:05,188 --> 01:07:08,275
I long for some peace of body and mind.
1202
01:07:11,069 --> 01:07:14,197
And to just talk whenever
I'm invaded by memory.
1203
01:07:15,449 --> 01:07:16,700
Am I talking too much?
1204
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:18,827
No, no, no, no. Talk all you want,
1205
01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:20,412
I love listening to you.
1206
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:22,205
[crickets chirping]
1207
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:27,461
[birds chirping]
1208
01:08:01,703 --> 01:08:03,538
[coughs, spits]
1209
01:08:18,470 --> 01:08:20,180
[sniffling]
1210
01:08:38,740 --> 01:08:41,535
[breathing heavily]
1211
01:08:42,244 --> 01:08:43,328
[sniffles]
1212
01:08:47,916 --> 01:08:49,918
[birds chirping]
1213
01:09:18,029 --> 01:09:20,073
[birds chirping]
1214
01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:33,211
[sobbing]
1215
01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:41,678
[sobbing]
1216
01:09:55,442 --> 01:09:58,445
[sobbing]
1217
01:10:05,452 --> 01:10:06,453
What's going on?
1218
01:10:07,162 --> 01:10:08,747
- What's wrong?
- [gasps]
1219
01:10:11,374 --> 01:10:12,685
[voice breaking] Your door was closed,
1220
01:10:12,709 --> 01:10:13,710
so I thought you...
1221
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:17,172
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1222
01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:19,466
I opened the window
1223
01:10:20,091 --> 01:10:21,885
and the breeze must have closed it.
1224
01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:23,053
Oh, my God!
1225
01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:25,805
[sniffling]
1226
01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:32,103
Do you think it's fair to be mad at me
1227
01:10:32,187 --> 01:10:33,855
because I'm still alive?
1228
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,152
Think of it as a rehearsal.
1229
01:10:40,737 --> 01:10:42,489
Now you know how it's gonna be.
1230
01:10:43,782 --> 01:10:45,325
You know how you're gonna feel.
1231
01:10:47,243 --> 01:10:49,079
You're gonna have to make some calls
1232
01:10:49,621 --> 01:10:52,207
and act out all the things
we talked about.
1233
01:10:53,166 --> 01:10:55,001
And you never knew anything,
1234
01:10:56,002 --> 01:10:57,337
and we were on vacation...
1235
01:10:57,420 --> 01:10:59,130
Please, just stop!
1236
01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:02,133
Okay.
1237
01:11:02,217 --> 01:11:04,219
[bugle call playing on TV]
1238
01:11:09,057 --> 01:11:11,059
[whimsical music playing on TV]
1239
01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:32,163
[laughs]
1240
01:11:32,247 --> 01:11:34,290
[tense music playing on TV]
1241
01:11:47,137 --> 01:11:49,347
[laughs]
1242
01:12:04,029 --> 01:12:05,238
[whirs]
1243
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:13,204
Should we call it a night?
1244
01:12:14,205 --> 01:12:15,248
[yawns]
1245
01:12:15,331 --> 01:12:17,959
Or does the young lady
wanna keep watching movies?
1246
01:12:19,794 --> 01:12:22,714
Did you tell me
that they have The Dead?
1247
01:12:24,049 --> 01:12:25,508
Or did I dream that?
1248
01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:27,177
Yeah, they have it.
1249
01:12:27,260 --> 01:12:29,304
Um, do you wanna watch it?
1250
01:12:30,055 --> 01:12:31,514
Yes, please.
1251
01:12:31,598 --> 01:12:32,682
Here we go.
1252
01:12:35,351 --> 01:12:36,394
Here we go.
1253
01:12:43,485 --> 01:12:45,487
[somber music playing on TV]
1254
01:12:46,905 --> 01:12:49,532
[Gabriel on TV]
Yes, the newspapers are right.
1255
01:12:50,075 --> 01:12:53,912
Snow is general all over Ireland.
1256
01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:57,832
Falling on every part
of the dark central plain,
1257
01:12:57,916 --> 01:13:00,376
on the treeless hills.
1258
01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:04,089
Softly upon the Bog of Allen
1259
01:13:04,172 --> 01:13:08,093
and farther westward, softly falling
1260
01:13:08,176 --> 01:13:12,263
into the dark mutinous Shannon waves.
1261
01:13:13,348 --> 01:13:16,267
One by one, we're all becoming shades.
1262
01:13:18,686 --> 01:13:20,730
- [softly repeating]
- Snow is falling,
1263
01:13:22,065 --> 01:13:24,359
falling in that lonely churchyard
1264
01:13:24,442 --> 01:13:26,319
where Michael Furey lies buried.
1265
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,406
Falling faintly through the universe
1266
01:13:30,490 --> 01:13:32,575
and faintly falling,
1267
01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:36,204
like the descent of their last end,
1268
01:13:37,664 --> 01:13:41,126
upon all the living and the dead.
1269
01:13:51,678 --> 01:13:54,055
[birds chirping]
1270
01:14:00,770 --> 01:14:01,770
Do you hear them?
1271
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:03,398
Mm-hmm.
1272
01:14:05,567 --> 01:14:06,568
[beeps]
1273
01:14:07,193 --> 01:14:08,778
[whirring]
1274
01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:12,949
It's daytime,
1275
01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,872
and you're alive.
1276
01:14:21,583 --> 01:14:24,252
[birds chirping]
1277
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:31,050
Oh, this is too much.
1278
01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:32,343
- Yeah?
- This is harder
1279
01:14:32,427 --> 01:14:33,887
- than I thought it'd be.
- Okay.
1280
01:14:36,431 --> 01:14:37,640
I think I need to sit.
1281
01:14:37,724 --> 01:14:39,934
All right. Yeah, let's go sit over here.
1282
01:14:40,602 --> 01:14:42,103
Here, let me help you.
1283
01:14:46,274 --> 01:14:48,776
Hey, I've got you. Here we go.
1284
01:14:49,569 --> 01:14:50,612
Here you go.
1285
01:14:51,946 --> 01:14:53,114
Okay.
1286
01:14:54,616 --> 01:14:55,658
[Martha moans]
1287
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:58,828
- [moans] That's much better.
- Oh, good.
1288
01:15:02,916 --> 01:15:05,376
Before coming here, I made a new will.
1289
01:15:06,127 --> 01:15:08,713
Aw, let's not talk about this now, please.
1290
01:15:10,340 --> 01:15:12,508
I'm leaving the apartment
and everything in it
1291
01:15:12,592 --> 01:15:14,219
to Michelle and you.
1292
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:22,101
I found your war journals in your desk.
1293
01:15:23,269 --> 01:15:25,104
What do you want us to do with them?
1294
01:15:25,772 --> 01:15:27,023
Is it okay if I read them?
1295
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:29,067
Of course you can read them.
1296
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:34,155
Can I tell your story?
1297
01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:35,615
You can do what you want.
1298
01:15:36,658 --> 01:15:37,825
I won't be here.
1299
01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:41,079
Can I say that?
1300
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:42,705
No.
1301
01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:44,916
Okay.
1302
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,504
[birds chirping]
1303
01:15:52,215 --> 01:15:53,841
[crickets chirping]
1304
01:16:08,982 --> 01:16:10,024
[sighs]
1305
01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:40,847
Let's not talk about this now, okay?
1306
01:16:42,140 --> 01:16:44,642
All right, I'll see you there. Bye.
1307
01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:52,859
[Martha] Dear Ingrid,
1308
01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:57,905
Today is such a beautiful day
that it seemed to me it...
1309
01:16:59,907 --> 01:17:00,907
Hey.
1310
01:17:01,409 --> 01:17:02,452
Hi.
1311
01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:04,454
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
1312
01:17:04,537 --> 01:17:06,539
This breeze is delicious.
1313
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:08,791
Be careful, it's a little chilly.
1314
01:17:10,335 --> 01:17:11,419
Um...
1315
01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:13,713
If you don't need me,
I'm gonna go to the gym.
1316
01:17:13,796 --> 01:17:15,173
But I can stay if you want.
1317
01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:17,550
No. Please, go.
I don't want to be a downer.
1318
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:18,968
You're not a downer.
1319
01:17:19,052 --> 01:17:20,678
You've been pretty well-behaved.
1320
01:17:21,512 --> 01:17:23,848
Have you talked
to your trainer about me?
1321
01:17:25,058 --> 01:17:26,434
Um...
1322
01:17:26,517 --> 01:17:28,853
Well... I mean, it came up.
1323
01:17:29,437 --> 01:17:31,773
I was talking about being in good shape
1324
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:34,776
and the heart beating to survive.
1325
01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:37,904
You know, everything that you
talked about in the hospital
1326
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:40,156
and he looked at me like I was a lunatic,
1327
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:43,534
so I told him I had a friend
who was sick. That's all.
1328
01:17:45,036 --> 01:17:49,832
Just remember,
you know nothing about anything.
1329
01:17:49,916 --> 01:17:50,958
[Ingrid] Mm.
1330
01:17:55,296 --> 01:17:57,006
Come here, give me a kiss.
1331
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:00,675
- You okay?
- Yes.
1332
01:18:13,606 --> 01:18:15,608
[lively chatter]
1333
01:18:23,950 --> 01:18:25,201
- Hi.
- Hi.
1334
01:18:30,415 --> 01:18:32,792
I lied to her, I don't like it.
1335
01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:34,168
Well, you'll have to practice.
1336
01:18:34,252 --> 01:18:35,253
Lying?
1337
01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:39,048
Yes. Officially, you aren't aware
of Martha's intentions.
1338
01:18:39,590 --> 01:18:40,591
Yeah.
1339
01:18:40,675 --> 01:18:43,136
And I found a lawyer,
in case you need one.
1340
01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:45,263
Thank you. Let's not talk about this now.
1341
01:18:45,346 --> 01:18:47,390
- Mm.
- How'd your lecture go?
1342
01:18:48,891 --> 01:18:51,978
Well, they weren't too happy
about my not taking questions.
1343
01:18:53,396 --> 01:18:54,439
In the end,
1344
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,985
people started muttering
and someone called me a coward.
1345
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:00,778
[laughs] It doesn't bother me.
1346
01:19:00,862 --> 01:19:02,905
I spent way too much time
1347
01:19:02,989 --> 01:19:05,158
caring about my reputation,
and for what?
1348
01:19:05,825 --> 01:19:08,053
So, what are you doing
with all that time you've gotten back?
1349
01:19:08,077 --> 01:19:10,621
Are you doing more of what you love?
1350
01:19:11,956 --> 01:19:14,417
I have to admit that my interest in things
1351
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,878
has been shrinking as I get older.
1352
01:19:18,546 --> 01:19:20,756
Martha said the same thing
a couple days ago.
1353
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,342
There are so few things left
that she can really enjoy.
1354
01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:25,219
- I understand.
- Mm.
1355
01:19:26,429 --> 01:19:27,763
But you're not sick.
1356
01:19:27,847 --> 01:19:30,224
No, but I feel the same way,
especially after the pandemic.
1357
01:19:30,308 --> 01:19:32,602
I don't go to the cinema
or listen to music.
1358
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:34,479
I... I read a lot,
1359
01:19:35,229 --> 01:19:37,148
but only subjects to do with my lectures.
1360
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:39,650
Mm. You still go to galleries?
You used to love that.
1361
01:19:39,734 --> 01:19:41,295
When we were together,
we'd go all the time
1362
01:19:41,319 --> 01:19:43,446
and talk about how powerful the art is.
1363
01:19:43,529 --> 01:19:44,572
You still like that?
1364
01:19:45,740 --> 01:19:48,409
Even if every poet in the world
sat down to write a poem
1365
01:19:48,493 --> 01:19:50,912
about the climate crisis,
it wouldn't save one tree.
1366
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:53,080
At least you're still interested in the trees.
1367
01:19:53,164 --> 01:19:54,790
I'm interested in sex, too.
1368
01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:56,542
Well, then you're not that bad.
1369
01:19:56,626 --> 01:19:59,045
When I was young,
1370
01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:03,049
if a day went by without sex,
I thought it was incomplete.
1371
01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:04,175
I remember that.
1372
01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:09,388
I'm not nostalgic,
but I miss the nights when we'd drink,
1373
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:13,059
and take drugs, have sex,
1374
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:16,103
all that didn't distract us
from what we really wanted to do.
1375
01:20:16,187 --> 01:20:18,606
You drank and you took drugs.
1376
01:20:18,689 --> 01:20:20,525
I mean, more than I did anyway.
1377
01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:21,793
I don't know how much you drank,
1378
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:25,279
but you always acted as you were
as blitzed as the rest of us.
1379
01:20:26,197 --> 01:20:28,491
But you were an essential part
of the party.
1380
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:32,828
That is, until you got bored
and went off to discover Europe.
1381
01:20:34,288 --> 01:20:35,540
You want to talk about that?
1382
01:20:36,832 --> 01:20:37,912
Tell me about your lecture.
1383
01:20:37,959 --> 01:20:39,335
[sighs]
1384
01:20:39,418 --> 01:20:42,797
I admit that I've become
something of a monomaniac.
1385
01:20:43,798 --> 01:20:45,716
My own son is no longer speaking to me
1386
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:48,094
because I didn't hide how appalled I was
1387
01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:50,763
that his wife is expecting another child.
1388
01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:52,074
He doesn't want me anywhere near her
1389
01:20:52,098 --> 01:20:53,492
for fear she'll have a miscarriage.
1390
01:20:53,516 --> 01:20:56,269
What? How could you tell him
that he can't have another child?
1391
01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:58,688
- It's their third!
- [stammering] What...
1392
01:20:58,771 --> 01:21:00,856
So, what's the next logical alternative?
1393
01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:02,376
For people to start killing themselves?
1394
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:04,610
People should be aware,
once and for all,
1395
01:21:04,694 --> 01:21:06,862
of the state of the fucking
planet they're living on.
1396
01:21:08,823 --> 01:21:11,867
Well, perhaps this isn't
the best subject for you.
1397
01:21:11,951 --> 01:21:15,621
You're living with
a dying woman in a world
1398
01:21:15,705 --> 01:21:17,915
also in its death throes.
1399
01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:23,004
Do you really think the situation
is that desperate?
1400
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:26,465
Yes. Read the science
and see what the world is doing with it.
1401
01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:31,637
They're releasing more CO2
into the air than ever before.
1402
01:21:31,721 --> 01:21:35,224
Sooner or later,
and I fear it will be sooner,
1403
01:21:35,308 --> 01:21:38,477
all this will be shot to hell, yeah.
1404
01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:42,106
Nothing is going to hasten
the end of the planet
1405
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:45,151
more than the survival of neo-liberalism
1406
01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:46,819
and the rise of the far right.
1407
01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:50,781
And we have both of them here,
marching side by side.
1408
01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:57,246
Sorry, I didn't want to bring you down,
1409
01:21:58,539 --> 01:22:00,583
but I get riled up with this.
1410
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,628
You cannot go around telling people
that there's no hope.
1411
01:22:04,170 --> 01:22:05,170
It's tragic.
1412
01:22:05,838 --> 01:22:08,466
And maybe it's really
unpleasant of me to say so,
1413
01:22:08,549 --> 01:22:12,428
but I've completely lost faith
in people doing the right thing.
1414
01:22:12,511 --> 01:22:15,556
I'm living every day expecting to find
Martha's body in her bed,
1415
01:22:15,640 --> 01:22:19,560
but that doesn't stop me
from enjoying every minute with her,
1416
01:22:19,644 --> 01:22:20,895
just the opposite.
1417
01:22:21,729 --> 01:22:24,190
I'm learning from her
and you should, too,
1418
01:22:25,149 --> 01:22:28,069
because there are lots of ways
to live inside a tragedy.
1419
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:31,906
Of course it's painful,
1420
01:22:32,615 --> 01:22:34,659
but I can take it.
1421
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,953
And I'm trying to live
1422
01:22:38,037 --> 01:22:39,997
with the same joy that she has,
1423
01:22:40,748 --> 01:22:42,708
and with the same appreciation, so
1424
01:22:43,626 --> 01:22:45,628
the last thing I need
is a speech like yours.
1425
01:22:46,545 --> 01:22:48,005
I've always admired you for that.
1426
01:22:49,382 --> 01:22:50,257
What?
1427
01:22:50,341 --> 01:22:53,386
You're one of the only people
who knows how to suffer
1428
01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:56,055
without making others feel guilty about it.
1429
01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:25,042
[sighs]
1430
01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:40,641
Do you think it will be much longer?
1431
01:23:40,725 --> 01:23:43,978
No, it'll be soon. Any day now.
1432
01:23:45,271 --> 01:23:47,148
You have to be prepared.
1433
01:23:47,231 --> 01:23:48,566
I know the police.
1434
01:23:48,649 --> 01:23:50,443
They'll ask you all sorts of questions,
1435
01:23:50,526 --> 01:23:52,862
they'll dig into your relationship
like scavengers.
1436
01:23:53,446 --> 01:23:55,197
You need a kind of mental script.
1437
01:23:55,281 --> 01:23:57,241
No, I thought about it, I do have it.
1438
01:23:58,159 --> 01:24:01,078
Good. Stay strong and stick to your story.
1439
01:24:01,162 --> 01:24:02,705
And when it happens,
1440
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:05,291
you should call the police
before you call me.
1441
01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:06,643
No, I need to call her daughter.
1442
01:24:06,667 --> 01:24:08,210
I should call her before I call you.
1443
01:24:08,294 --> 01:24:10,713
Okay, but be careful what you say to her.
1444
01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,424
I had to tell the lawyer
about the situation.
1445
01:24:13,507 --> 01:24:16,093
Why do we have to go through all this,
like we're criminals?
1446
01:24:16,927 --> 01:24:19,972
Shouldn't dying people have the right
to end their lives with dignity?
1447
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:22,391
They will, once
our teetering health system
1448
01:24:22,475 --> 01:24:23,934
completely collapses.
1449
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,771
[birds chirping]
1450
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:02,097
Martha?
1451
01:25:22,827 --> 01:25:23,828
[Martha] Dear Ingrid,
1452
01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:26,914
today is such a beautiful day
1453
01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:30,251
that it seemed to me
it was the moment to leave.
1454
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:34,088
It consoled me that you weren't
in the room downstairs,
1455
01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,966
even though that was the idea.
1456
01:25:37,049 --> 01:25:39,760
But you know I always improvise
1457
01:25:40,678 --> 01:25:42,471
and I'm almost happy that,
1458
01:25:42,555 --> 01:25:44,849
while I fade away on the lounger,
1459
01:25:45,724 --> 01:25:47,518
you're out in the world,
1460
01:25:47,601 --> 01:25:50,271
experiencing something
different to my death.
1461
01:25:51,689 --> 01:25:54,900
No one will be able
to accuse you of complicity.
1462
01:25:56,193 --> 01:25:57,778
You have accompanied me
1463
01:25:57,862 --> 01:26:01,198
as much as any human being
can accompany another.
1464
01:26:02,658 --> 01:26:05,619
Call my daughter and tell her I'm sorry.
1465
01:26:06,912 --> 01:26:09,373
And thank you, love.
1466
01:26:34,982 --> 01:26:36,025
Martha.
1467
01:26:39,695 --> 01:26:41,280
I'll do whatever you want.
1468
01:26:46,452 --> 01:26:47,578
[sniffling]
1469
01:27:01,008 --> 01:27:03,010
[birds cawing]
1470
01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:11,518
We had dinner and then we watched
a Buster Keaton movie.
1471
01:27:11,602 --> 01:27:13,020
I told you this already.
1472
01:27:13,103 --> 01:27:15,189
And you didn't notice anything strange,
1473
01:27:15,272 --> 01:27:17,399
anything that made you suspect...
1474
01:27:19,985 --> 01:27:21,028
Try to remember.
1475
01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:24,031
I remember it perfectly,
it was a fun night.
1476
01:27:24,114 --> 01:27:26,784
There were no gestures?
Nothing she said?
1477
01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:29,703
We said goodnight
and then I went upstairs
1478
01:27:29,787 --> 01:27:32,289
and I stayed up late reading a book
1479
01:27:32,373 --> 01:27:35,000
that Martha had recommended
called Erotic Vagrancy.
1480
01:27:35,084 --> 01:27:37,836
It's about Elizabeth Taylor
and Richard Burton.
1481
01:27:37,920 --> 01:27:39,380
- Do you know it?
- No.
1482
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:42,049
Martha and I both thought
that it was really fun.
1483
01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:44,385
Try to answer
only the questions I ask you.
1484
01:27:48,430 --> 01:27:49,870
What'd you do the following morning?
1485
01:27:52,226 --> 01:27:53,435
I had lunch with a friend.
1486
01:27:54,436 --> 01:27:56,563
And when I came back,
I called out for her
1487
01:27:56,647 --> 01:27:58,357
and when she didn't answer,
1488
01:27:58,440 --> 01:27:59,525
I went to her bedroom.
1489
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:01,360
But she wasn't there.
1490
01:28:02,361 --> 01:28:03,654
So I went into the backyard
1491
01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:06,448
and that's when I saw her.
1492
01:28:06,532 --> 01:28:09,368
And, at first, I thought that
she was asleep on the lounge chair
1493
01:28:09,451 --> 01:28:12,287
and I got really nervous
and I called the ambulance.
1494
01:28:12,371 --> 01:28:13,789
And they got there very quickly
1495
01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:15,541
and then the EMTs saw her
1496
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:17,960
and then they said there was nothing
that they could do.
1497
01:28:18,627 --> 01:28:20,045
Nobody buys this pill by accident
1498
01:28:20,129 --> 01:28:22,798
if they're not thinking of suicide
or killing someone,
1499
01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:24,508
so, you didn't know anything about this?
1500
01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:25,467
About what?
1501
01:28:25,551 --> 01:28:28,137
About her being in possession
of this illegal compound.
1502
01:28:28,220 --> 01:28:31,724
No. She was taking medication
for the pain,
1503
01:28:31,807 --> 01:28:33,684
you know, patches and pills, but she
1504
01:28:33,767 --> 01:28:35,894
she never shared the specifics with me.
1505
01:28:36,979 --> 01:28:38,731
It is strange that,
1506
01:28:38,814 --> 01:28:40,232
if you two were such good friends,
1507
01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,484
that she didn't say anything to you.
1508
01:28:43,569 --> 01:28:48,073
You can't just walk into a drugstore
and buy this pill.
1509
01:28:49,199 --> 01:28:50,659
It's very difficult to come by.
1510
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,538
I think when she rented the house,
1511
01:28:55,289 --> 01:28:57,916
she already knew what she was
gonna do, right?
1512
01:28:58,000 --> 01:28:59,251
It's possible,
1513
01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:01,503
but she didn't tell me anything.
1514
01:29:02,463 --> 01:29:04,339
She was exhausted
from the last treatment
1515
01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:06,109
and she wanted to take a break
before going back
1516
01:29:06,133 --> 01:29:07,509
for the next round of chemo.
1517
01:29:08,260 --> 01:29:10,054
She wasn't the type to throw in the towel.
1518
01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:11,263
She didn't complain?
1519
01:29:12,222 --> 01:29:14,683
She didn't say anything
that made you sense
1520
01:29:16,226 --> 01:29:17,227
the end?
1521
01:29:17,978 --> 01:29:19,498
It was a great responsibility for you.
1522
01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:22,232
She complained sometimes.
1523
01:29:24,735 --> 01:29:27,529
What did she complain about?
What did she say?
1524
01:29:29,323 --> 01:29:31,366
She'd lost the capacity for attention.
1525
01:29:32,701 --> 01:29:36,455
She couldn't read or write, for example.
1526
01:29:38,624 --> 01:29:40,250
Her life was reduced to surviving.
1527
01:29:40,334 --> 01:29:43,670
You know, I find it very hard to believe
1528
01:29:43,754 --> 01:29:46,131
that she didn't say anything
that made you suspect the end.
1529
01:29:46,215 --> 01:29:48,550
It was more than evident
that she was very sick,
1530
01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:51,314
but she wanted to take a vacation
before going back to the hospital.
1531
01:29:51,345 --> 01:29:52,888
I told you this already.
1532
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:59,061
So, we also spoke to some of
Martha's close friends.
1533
01:30:01,021 --> 01:30:04,108
In general, they all coincide
with your testimony.
1534
01:30:06,235 --> 01:30:08,946
But one of them, Stella Byrne,
1535
01:30:09,029 --> 01:30:11,532
told us that, after Martha
finished her chemotherapy,
1536
01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:14,493
that she proposed
that she accompany her
1537
01:30:14,576 --> 01:30:16,954
to a house in the country
1538
01:30:17,037 --> 01:30:19,957
where she intended to commit suicide.
1539
01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:26,130
Asked her to, and I quote...
1540
01:30:27,589 --> 01:30:28,757
"Be in the room next door."
1541
01:30:32,302 --> 01:30:33,846
And her friend refused.
1542
01:30:34,721 --> 01:30:37,891
I wasn't in the room next door,
I was in the room downstairs.
1543
01:30:37,975 --> 01:30:39,184
When I spoke to Mrs. Byrne
1544
01:30:39,268 --> 01:30:40,328
and informed her of the suicide,
1545
01:30:40,352 --> 01:30:41,728
she told me she wasn't surprised.
1546
01:30:42,688 --> 01:30:45,440
There's another word for Martha did,
it's called euthanasia.
1547
01:30:45,524 --> 01:30:47,067
Well, call it what you want,
1548
01:30:47,151 --> 01:30:50,779
but, for me, what your friend
did is a crime
1549
01:30:50,863 --> 01:30:53,949
and, as a policeman, as a human being,
1550
01:30:54,032 --> 01:30:55,075
as a man of faith,
1551
01:30:56,535 --> 01:30:59,121
I'm radically opposed
to anyone committing a crime.
1552
01:31:00,497 --> 01:31:02,541
And, of course, anyone aiding
and abetting in one.
1553
01:31:09,631 --> 01:31:11,466
[cell phone clicking]
1554
01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:15,429
[line ringing]
1555
01:31:15,512 --> 01:31:17,806
Damian, can you come down
to the police station, please?
1556
01:31:18,515 --> 01:31:19,516
This is endless.
1557
01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:23,103
How do you explain
that your friend Martha
1558
01:31:23,187 --> 01:31:24,771
was so explicit with Mrs. Byrne
1559
01:31:24,855 --> 01:31:27,136
and yet she didn't tell you
anything about her intentions?
1560
01:31:27,191 --> 01:31:28,901
I'm not gonna say another word.
1561
01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:31,278
If I'm under arrest,
then tell me the charges.
1562
01:31:31,361 --> 01:31:33,322
Otherwise, I'll wait
in the hall for my lawyer.
1563
01:31:33,405 --> 01:31:34,656
Very foresighted of you.
1564
01:31:34,740 --> 01:31:36,259
What made you think
you'd need a lawyer?
1565
01:31:36,283 --> 01:31:39,161
Why don't you ask your friend,
he witnessed the interrogation.
1566
01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,706
[sighs] I think you're lying.
1567
01:31:44,333 --> 01:31:46,453
And that you're the kind of person
who wouldn't say no
1568
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:49,004
if a friend asked you
for help committing suicide.
1569
01:31:51,548 --> 01:31:52,674
Let her go.
1570
01:31:52,758 --> 01:31:53,758
[buzzes]
1571
01:32:01,725 --> 01:32:02,726
Hey.
1572
01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:04,770
- Hi.
- Hi.
1573
01:32:04,853 --> 01:32:06,855
- How are you?
- I'm okay.
1574
01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,233
This is my lawyer, Sarah.
1575
01:32:09,316 --> 01:32:11,068
- Hi. Pleasure.
- Thank you for coming.
1576
01:32:11,151 --> 01:32:12,653
Of course. Damian's filled me in.
1577
01:32:12,736 --> 01:32:14,936
Is there anything I should know
about the interrogation?
1578
01:32:14,988 --> 01:32:16,823
Well, he treated me like I was the killer.
1579
01:32:16,907 --> 01:32:18,659
- But you were with me.
- He doesn't care.
1580
01:32:18,742 --> 01:32:20,118
He insists that I'm implicated.
1581
01:32:20,202 --> 01:32:21,245
Okay, but...
1582
01:32:21,328 --> 01:32:23,747
He spoke to a friend
of Martha, Stella Byrne,
1583
01:32:23,830 --> 01:32:25,791
who said that Martha
had approached her first
1584
01:32:25,874 --> 01:32:27,251
and she refused to help her.
1585
01:32:27,334 --> 01:32:29,253
Okay, well, I'm sure
everything was recorded.
1586
01:32:29,336 --> 01:32:30,671
- Mm-hmm.
- [door opens]
1587
01:32:30,754 --> 01:32:33,840
Um, and this police officer
witnessed everything.
1588
01:32:33,924 --> 01:32:35,133
You can come in now.
1589
01:32:35,217 --> 01:32:36,843
I'll go in alone. I'm her attorney.
1590
01:32:38,804 --> 01:32:40,472
Don't worry, this is all very clear.
1591
01:32:42,808 --> 01:32:43,976
Thank you for coming.
1592
01:32:44,059 --> 01:32:45,227
- My pleasure.
- [door buzzes]
1593
01:32:45,852 --> 01:32:48,063
Jesus! What an asshole!
1594
01:32:48,146 --> 01:32:49,786
I've never been treated like that before.
1595
01:32:50,816 --> 01:32:53,296
You were unlucky enough
to come up against a religious fanatic,
1596
01:32:53,360 --> 01:32:54,754
but he's not gonna bother you again.
1597
01:32:54,778 --> 01:32:55,988
I'm gonna file a complaint.
1598
01:32:56,071 --> 01:32:58,198
Thank you so much for everything.
1599
01:32:58,282 --> 01:33:00,325
You still need to be available
for the next 48 hours
1600
01:33:00,409 --> 01:33:02,244
until forensic formalities are done.
1601
01:33:03,245 --> 01:33:05,289
Um, I told them to call me if necessary.
1602
01:33:05,372 --> 01:33:06,373
I'll be at the house.
1603
01:33:06,456 --> 01:33:07,850
Do you have
all the information you need?
1604
01:33:07,874 --> 01:33:09,126
Yes, Damian gave it to me.
1605
01:33:09,918 --> 01:33:12,045
Just give me a call
if anything comes up, okay?
1606
01:33:12,129 --> 01:33:13,714
I'm gonna head back to the office.
1607
01:33:13,797 --> 01:33:15,037
I'm really sorry for your loss.
1608
01:33:15,090 --> 01:33:16,383
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Sarah.
1609
01:33:16,466 --> 01:33:17,467
Bye.
1610
01:33:18,385 --> 01:33:20,178
I can't believe Stella told him that.
1611
01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:21,489
Well, he probably cornered her,
1612
01:33:21,513 --> 01:33:23,807
and they have Martha's computer
and her cell phone.
1613
01:33:23,890 --> 01:33:24,933
[Ingrid] Mm.
1614
01:33:25,017 --> 01:33:26,077
Do you know if they talked?
1615
01:33:26,101 --> 01:33:28,937
No, I don't know,
she didn't tell me anything.
1616
01:33:30,105 --> 01:33:31,481
What do you wanna do?
1617
01:33:31,565 --> 01:33:34,109
I need to go back to the house
and pack up Martha's things.
1618
01:33:34,192 --> 01:33:36,111
- [cell phone ringing]
- Sorry.
1619
01:33:37,654 --> 01:33:38,655
Hello?
1620
01:33:39,281 --> 01:33:40,532
Uh, speaking.
1621
01:33:42,617 --> 01:33:43,952
[whispers] It's Michelle.
1622
01:33:44,036 --> 01:33:45,203
Martha's daughter?
1623
01:33:46,038 --> 01:33:47,247
Yes, of course.
1624
01:33:47,331 --> 01:33:49,416
No, no, of course you can come over.
1625
01:33:49,499 --> 01:33:52,753
I'm headed there right now.
I'll text you the address.
1626
01:33:54,129 --> 01:33:56,214
Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye.
1627
01:33:58,216 --> 01:34:00,927
Wow. Wow.
1628
01:34:01,011 --> 01:34:02,971
I'm headed back to the city,
1629
01:34:03,055 --> 01:34:05,891
so tell me when you're back
and I'll help you with your move.
1630
01:34:07,059 --> 01:34:08,977
Thank you for everything.
1631
01:34:11,813 --> 01:34:14,066
And you can tell me
how it went with Michelle.
1632
01:34:14,691 --> 01:34:15,691
I will.
1633
01:34:17,569 --> 01:34:19,780
- Thanks. I'll call you, okay?
- Okay. Take care.
1634
01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:23,867
[birds chirping]
1635
01:34:53,480 --> 01:34:54,731
Hello, I'm Michelle.
1636
01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:56,608
I'm Ingrid.
1637
01:34:57,734 --> 01:34:58,734
Hi.
1638
01:35:02,155 --> 01:35:03,907
Let's go inside, okay?
1639
01:35:03,990 --> 01:35:04,990
Yeah.
1640
01:35:08,036 --> 01:35:09,037
Come on in.
1641
01:35:15,252 --> 01:35:16,962
Do you wanna see your mother's room?
1642
01:35:17,045 --> 01:35:18,213
Yes, please.
1643
01:35:18,797 --> 01:35:20,674
It's right down there. Right down the hall.
1644
01:35:48,785 --> 01:35:50,245
I made some coffee.
1645
01:35:50,328 --> 01:35:51,621
Would you like some?
1646
01:35:51,705 --> 01:35:53,373
Uh, I also have tea.
1647
01:35:53,457 --> 01:35:55,125
No, coffee's great. Thank you.
1648
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:56,918
Here you go.
1649
01:36:01,506 --> 01:36:02,799
Did she tell you about me?
1650
01:36:02,883 --> 01:36:04,259
Of course she did.
1651
01:36:06,219 --> 01:36:09,598
And she told me you were very upset
that you never met your father.
1652
01:36:10,557 --> 01:36:12,017
So she told you about my father?
1653
01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:13,477
She did.
1654
01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:14,478
[coffee pouring]
1655
01:36:14,561 --> 01:36:16,605
Don't you think
she could have helped him
1656
01:36:16,688 --> 01:36:18,023
when he came back from the war?
1657
01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:21,109
She helped him as best she could.
1658
01:36:21,193 --> 01:36:24,279
Your father came back
very badly damaged
1659
01:36:24,362 --> 01:36:27,032
and he wanted to move to another city
and start a new life.
1660
01:36:27,115 --> 01:36:30,285
His plans never included you or Martha.
1661
01:36:30,994 --> 01:36:34,706
And your mother accepted
the end of the relationship and...
1662
01:36:36,082 --> 01:36:37,792
And she saw him in such a bad way
1663
01:36:37,876 --> 01:36:40,003
that she gave him a kiss
to give him some peace
1664
01:36:40,086 --> 01:36:42,297
and that kiss turned
into something more.
1665
01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:46,259
And you are the fruit of that moment.
1666
01:36:47,844 --> 01:36:50,639
My mother never told me
anything about that.
1667
01:36:50,722 --> 01:36:52,891
It's a difficult thing to explain to a child.
1668
01:36:52,974 --> 01:36:54,601
She could have told me later.
1669
01:36:55,644 --> 01:36:56,978
By then you were so estranged
1670
01:36:57,062 --> 01:36:58,939
that she didn't feel
it was possible anymore.
1671
01:37:00,398 --> 01:37:02,567
She was a teenager,
1672
01:37:02,651 --> 01:37:03,902
she had a life to live,
1673
01:37:03,985 --> 01:37:08,073
and your father moved to San Diego
and he made no effort to know you.
1674
01:37:19,167 --> 01:37:20,418
So, Ingrid,
1675
01:37:22,379 --> 01:37:25,590
do you think I was totally mistaken
about Martha?
1676
01:37:26,675 --> 01:37:27,926
You were unfair,
1677
01:37:29,594 --> 01:37:32,806
but no one can blame you
for wanting to know who your father was.
1678
01:37:35,850 --> 01:37:37,227
It's a sad story,
1679
01:37:37,310 --> 01:37:39,187
it was very painful for both of you.
1680
01:37:43,024 --> 01:37:44,901
Don't be so hard on yourself,
1681
01:37:44,985 --> 01:37:46,528
Martha wasn't the perfect mother.
1682
01:37:48,196 --> 01:37:49,489
No, she wasn't.
1683
01:37:54,119 --> 01:37:55,787
Can I stay here tonight?
1684
01:37:55,870 --> 01:37:58,707
Yes, of course.
This is your mother's house!
1685
01:38:01,418 --> 01:38:02,460
[crickets chirping]
1686
01:38:02,544 --> 01:38:03,587
[Ingrid] Dear Martha,
1687
01:38:04,796 --> 01:38:07,674
I thought you'd like to know
I've come back to the house in the woods
1688
01:38:07,757 --> 01:38:09,259
to gather up your things.
1689
01:38:11,553 --> 01:38:13,263
Your daughter came to see me.
1690
01:38:14,139 --> 01:38:15,682
I'm still shaking.
1691
01:38:16,725 --> 01:38:18,435
She looks so like you.
1692
01:38:19,603 --> 01:38:22,355
She asked me if she could stay
and sleep in your bed,
1693
01:38:23,064 --> 01:38:24,649
and, of course, I said yes.
1694
01:38:26,776 --> 01:38:29,070
I think your death
has brought her closer to you.
1695
01:38:33,074 --> 01:38:35,118
I never thought I'd inherit her,
1696
01:38:35,952 --> 01:38:37,954
even if it's just for a day.
1697
01:38:39,122 --> 01:38:41,374
The house is filled with you.
1698
01:38:44,336 --> 01:38:46,921
When I came in,
after talking to the police,
1699
01:38:48,131 --> 01:38:50,508
the first thing I saw
was the door of your room,
1700
01:38:52,052 --> 01:38:53,511
and it was open.
1701
01:38:54,721 --> 01:38:57,891
And I said to myself, "She's alive."
1702
01:38:57,974 --> 01:38:59,893
[birds chirping]
1703
01:39:31,758 --> 01:39:33,802
I came out here to listen to the birds.
1704
01:39:36,513 --> 01:39:38,306
Your mother would get up like this,
1705
01:39:39,516 --> 01:39:40,809
at dawn,
1706
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,018
and lie right there.
1707
01:39:48,692 --> 01:39:51,403
Look, it's snowing.
1708
01:39:53,196 --> 01:39:54,447
[sighs]
1709
01:39:55,198 --> 01:39:56,991
[wind blowing]
1710
01:40:00,453 --> 01:40:01,788
The snow is falling.
1711
01:40:04,457 --> 01:40:05,834
It's falling on the lonely pool
1712
01:40:05,917 --> 01:40:07,210
we never used.
1713
01:40:09,421 --> 01:40:10,839
It's falling on the woods,
1714
01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:14,092
where we walked and you lay,
1715
01:40:14,175 --> 01:40:16,553
exhausted, on the ground.
1716
01:40:19,264 --> 01:40:21,474
Falling on your daughter and on me.
1717
01:40:24,853 --> 01:40:26,563
Falling upon the living and the dead.