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- [Vincent] Mother, it's Vincent.
I might be
needing to stay at the shack for, for a little bit.
Something's come up.
Uh...
I...
Please say hi to Father for me.
I've got the key.
Bye.
- You know what? - See, I'm just standing here.
- I'm not even going to try- - And you come-
- I'm not in the mood to play. - See, it's gonna be a fight.
- I've had a shitty day. - It's gonna be a fight.
I stand here, I'm just having a drink and-
- [Petra] Well, that's the problem, right?
You know what you said to me last night?
- Well, not specifically every word, every single word.
I don't recall.
- You told me you won't be drinking, Vincent.
Look, just answer. Answer me.
- Of course you won't have a drink with me.
You only drink with your friends.
- I drink to have fun.
Not to get drunk.
You have no friends.
- Because I don't want- - You don't work!
- I don't want friends!
- You sit on your arse all day, drinking!
- I don't sit on my arse all day!
- [Petra] You do!
- I'm getting myself in a zone!
- What have you become?
I want you out of my life and out of my house.
'Cause I don't have a husband.
What I have is an alcoholic.
An alcoholic delusional man
who thinks he'll write a book one day.
Sorry.
What would you know?
Yeah.
Like I thought.
Exactly like I thought.
Nothing.
What the fuck was that?
- [Narrator] The attack left Vincent with a deep slash
in his upper-left thigh.
But things could have been much worse.
In a rather fortuitous twist,
Vincent had vomited at the crucial point of the assault,
causing the beast to slip,
and allowing Vincent the opportunity to quickly make his way
back to the refuge of the shack.
The following day, Vincent set about making some changes.
- [Narrator] Vincent would miss the shack.
This old place,
hobbled together with rusty nails and tired wood
had given him a second chance.
A completed novel.
And not a drop in over four months.
But it was time.
Time to leave.
Come on, you motherfucker.
- [Narrator] Vincent's intoxication
hadn't helped his cause, this time around.
At the height of the attack,
Vincent had tripped and the sharp blade of the axe
had pierced his right eye.
And although he did manage to scramble quickly
back to the safety of the shack,
he would never regain vision in the eye again.
Despite this latest setback,
Vincent wasn't about to start moping around,
feeling sorry for himself.
He had one thing on his mind, and one thing only.
To kill it.
To do that, he would need to get into shape.
Vincent was in a fight.
In the safe daylight hours, he would train hard.
And by night, he would switch to stealth.
Spending long hours on stakeout.
In an effort to catch a glimpse of the beast.
To learn its moves.
Its habits.
Its weakness.
Sadly, all his efforts were to no avail.
The beast attacked Vincent,
with the sun at its highest point in the sky.
As if it were making a cruel mockery
of all his efforts to resist.
Vincent would loose over 60% of his tongue
in that first daylight attack.
And despite the best efforts of the attending paramedics,
the missing appendage would never be found.
It could therefore only be assumed that Vincent
had swallowed it whole.
- Vincent?
- Hello, Father.
Hello, Mother.
- [Local 1] Yeah, yeah, yeah!
No, like I had the exact same Zephyr.
- [Local 2] Oh, no. Amazing car.
- [Local 1] Yeah, yeah.
Used to float along the road like a boat.
Yeah, really sorta cruisy car.
- What was your first car? - Oh, it was an XP-GT.
- Hey, mate.
Why don't you piss off, back to where you come from?
- You know,
none of you...
None of you would be laughing, if you met this beast.
- Don't!
- It's a shiraz cabernet.
You don't have to. I can drink it for you, if you want.
- Yeah, would you like to?
- Yeah, just pour it all in there.
- Okay.
- Just go right to the top.
- You sure? - Yeah, top it up.
Keep going. - I'll keep a little bit.
I'll keep a little bit. Is that all right?
- Yeah, you can have as much as you want.
- No, I'll have a sip.
You don't drink it all the time, though, do you?
You just, you don't drink much of it, by the look of it?
- Oh, I drink a...
I drink sometimes.
So, you smoke gum leaves? - Yeah.
- Really? - Yeah.
They're easy to get. - Do you have to dry 'em out?
- Yeah, but not just gum leaves.
Anything that's sorta laying around.
- And does it, like, ignite when you light it?
- Yeah.
Shit yeah.
- And what do they call that bush weed?
- Just bushman's weed.
- So, I've got a question for you.
- [Gunther] Uh-huh.
- Um, and I hope you don't mind answering it.
- [Gunther] Not at all.
- But I was just wondering how you can see, out in the dark,
without a head-torch on, because,
if I tried to walk out there without a head-torch,
I would break a limb, within 100 meters.
- Ah, I've just acclimatized.
I went overseas. I went to Vietnam, years ago.
- [Vincent] Yeah?
- We were dark a lot of the time.
You weren't allowed to light cigarettes at night time.
- [Vincent] Is that 'cause the enemy can see you?
- Yeah, but you got used to the dark.
- [Vincent] And um, I'm sorry I didn't...
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
- [Gunther] Mate, you scared the crap outta me out there.
- Yeah, I didn't mean to do that,
but I was actually, to be honest,
I was a bit scared of you as well, so,
maybe we were both a bit scared.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Do another one of those.
That's great.
But it's nice to have you here, and I hope,
I hope you're enjoying your wine.
- Well, this is the first time I've been in it.
This is a beautiful little place you've got here.
- [Vincent] Yeah, it's me mom and dad's.
- I like it.
It's so nice.
- Oh, my mother Delphine, and my father William,
came up on a day trip for a picnic,
and they decided they just,
they just were taken by the charm of the place,
and they decided that they'd like to purchase it.
So they purchased it for $800 off a local farmer,
in, in March 12, 1973,
and it's been in the family ever since.
- Oh, you're a lucky fella, actually.
You wanna hang onto this joint.
- Well, they don't really want to come here,
and no one else in my family likes to come here, so,
it's a nice place for me to get away,
because I don't really like spending that much time
with most of the people in this town.
- I noticed that.
I think the locals are...
They're, they're a bunch of...
They're nice people, by the sound of it.
- Well, they don't seem very nice to me.
- They're not nice to strangers.
- Well, then they're not very nice people, are they?
- Not in that case, I guess, but they keep to themselves.
They don't seem to have much trouble between them.
- So, they're nice amongst themselves.
- That's right. - But not nice to anyone else?
- Yeah, and that's, you know, we're aliens.
- They're arseholes.
Might have a sip, though. Just to see what it tastes like.
- It's good wine.
It's all right, isn't it?
- Yeah, I could drink a little bit of that, I guess.
I've got a deck of cards.
- I've got a deck, too.
- Back in the camp. - I just bought a deck.
"Queens Slipper", they're called.
- What color are they?
- Red.
- I've played card games that are a lot easier to play.
Like, like, Fish.
- Oh, yeah, Fish is...
Yeah, Fish a good game.
And Snap. I used to play Snap.
- Uh-huh, and uh-
I hurt my hand playing Snap once.
- Hence the game Snap!
- Mm. - So, you like winning?
Yeah. - Who doesn't?
- Nah, that's it.
- Someone once said to me "Everything in life's competitive"
and I think that was probably a pretty accurate statement.
- Yeah, well-
- He was a bit of arsehole,
but I think he got that one right.
Where's this go, Gunther?
- [Gunther] Put mine down.
- Just keep going through here?
- Here.
Where's yours?
Oh, yeah, you're right.
So, then what you've gotta do.
And so that'll drop a little bit.
And so then you do the same thing again.
Hold it here.
- Stop here? - Stop here.
Stop. No, a little bit higher.
And just do a practice. - Yep.
- Swing that out. Let go.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay? - And then flick it?
- Yep.
Well, unfortunately-
- [Vincent] Did I do something wrong?
- You haven't done anything wrong.
You just haven't done it all right.
So when you go out, let it go and flick it.
- Oh, it's fucking done it again.
Okay, stand back.
Here I go.
- Good shot!
Anyhow, it's amazing you could do that.
All right, here we go.
I'm going for a big one. I'm going for a fucking big one.
- You're on your own, mate. Don't forget to...
Yeah, that's it.
I love it!
That was brilliant!
- It's very relaxing.
- Yeah, I reckon, um...
Well, you've learnt somethin', didn't you?
You've never fished before? - Never.
And I feel like I might be a bit of a natural at it, maybe.
- So, you know what to do. Oh, man, look at that!
- Yeah, like, it just feels like...
I really feel like when I do this...
It just feels, yeah.
- This is getting better all the time.
- Like, you know what?
I don't care if there's no fish in here.
- All right. - 'Cause I just like casting.
I think the casting's fun.
Just in itself.
Does that make sense to you? - No, it does.
People do that for a...
Sometimes, they got these places where they just
do fly fishing into ponds like this with nothing in them,
and they have competitions to see what they can do you know?
Well, you're better than I am at it.
- Thanks, Gunther.
- It might be the one eye that helps.
It's a positive. - It's a positive.
- You lose your eye and you've got better opportunities.
- It's a positive.
- But not all, you know, I wouldn't...
I wouldn't want to have that happen to me, though,
I'm afraid.
But it's a shame.
But you can still...
- [Vincent] I could go in one of those competitions soon,
if I keep practicing.
- Oh, well, you've...
You've got a chance.
- I might enter one.
I'll just keep practicing.
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna enter one of those competitions.
- It's beautiful.
Oh, God.
That's beautiful.
This rock- - Mm.
- [Gunther] Is igneous.
- Okay.
So, this is called Word.
- A Word?
- It's the same as a typewriter.
- The most gold that was found in Victoria,
was found here, in this area.
- Really? - Seriously.
- Yep, keep the screen pointed toward yourself.
- Yeah.
And they crush this down,
and those little bits there are gold.
- I'm gonna crush a bit here? - Collect them all.
Yeah!
- [Vincent] It broke this one.
- See how strong it is?
Now, hang on. Just put it in your pocket.
You'll need something else to crush that with.
- I'll keep this and smash it later.
And you press Save. Gunther's file.
- It all gets saved on the computer.
- You save your stuff in here, yeah?
- Well, it does. It lives in here.
- Yeah, cool.
And it pulls out bits and pieces of rock that you've never,
you didn't know was under there.
And this tree collapses.
- Oh, shit.
- Well, it forces all the rocks to the surface.
I don't need any books or nothin'. I got it all there.
- Well, you can still read books.
- The roots of the tree have brought them up.
Lots of nuggets are found like that.
- Fair dinkum? - Absolutely.
I used to send a telegram to somebody and-
- You still use those? - Do you?
- You do?
- No, I haven't used one for years, I don't, I don't send...
I haven't communicated with anybody for a long time.
- Do you wanna head back and get some dinner now?
- Love to. - Yeah.
I'm probably just gonna do a stew.
It's just gonna be like little bits of, um, like lamb in it.
- Oh, mate. - Is that all right?
- I haven't had a stew for so long. Yeah.
- [Vincent] I might chop some carrot up,
and mix it with some rice.
- Yeah, all right. - All right.
- Sounds good. - Let's go.
- Thank you.
- [Gunther] I don't know, actually.
I don't have any aboriginal, as such, in my blood,
but I've been taught by...
I know a lot of aboriginal people.
- All right. - Yeah.
- [Vincent] Do you think that,
that helps with your vision at night?
- [Gunther] No, it just kinda gives you perception
and awareness.
- [Narrator] Vincent's debut novel, titled "Falcon's Dive",
was a fictional exploration of the scars of war,
as told through the eyes of RAAF bomber
Command Captain Willard Cornell.
Vincent had entered "Falcon's Dive"
in the prestigious national literary competition
for unpublished works, the Wynn Williams Medal.
And following the surprise news, late that night,
that his book had won first prize,
Vincent found himself suddenly in the spotlight.
He was quickly signed
to the prominent literary agent Eloise Bergman
who proceeded to schedule a national book tour for Vincent
to promote "Falcon's Dive".
It was to be a high-end black tie affair
with the who's-who of society present.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for joining me here tonight,
for
the first reading of my debut novel "Falcon's Dive".
It's been a long journey, but,
a journey that has been,
none the less, well worth taking.
Worth taking.
- [Narrator] Vincent's sense of time
quickly became eroded on tour,
as his existence faded from one hotel room to the next.
However, as sales of the critically acclaimed
"Falcon's Dive" began to skyrocket,
his fame also began to flourish.
However, there were some whispers that had sprung up,
in regards to Vincent's mental fragility.
Eloise therefore decided the company's security contractor,
Kim Yu Jin, also know as "Little Kim",
would be assigned to Vincent around the clock,
to help ensure things ran
smoothly.
- [Narrator] Perhaps it was an attempt to seek some reprieve
from the confines of yet another hotel room.
But Vincent would often find himself
wandering the streets at night, for hours on end.
As if he was looking for something.
Searching.
Reaching.
But no matter how many times he tried,
he could never quite work out what it was
he was looking for.
- [Host] The handle makes vacuuming fun.
Lightweight, weighing only eight pounds,
a convenient two-speed power switch from Auric!
And another conflict was whether to use
the rusty old bike to get around the farm,
or to use a shiny and clean golf car!
The Easy Golf Freedom TXP electric golf car!
Relax and enjoy the ride between birdies and bogies.
It has smooth acceleration and easy battery maintenance.
Includes wheel covers and sun top.
But the biggest disagreement came
when Mr. Dobless brought Arnie the pig into the house.
Lisa would always throw a fit and storm off
into a nice, clean trailer!
- Oh, shit.
- [Narrator] Jacob Van Der Beek was an organic corn farmer
who was in town for the Sustainable Living Expo.
He had meet Vincent that night,
in the piano bar of the Continental Hotel,
where both the gentlemen were staying.
It would be a meeting that Jacob would never forget.
For all the wrong reasons.
The attack had been swift, yet none the less brutal,
with Jacob bearing the full brunt of the beast's fury.
He would loose his right ear,
a large portion of his upper lip,
and his left middle index finger.
Before Vincent hurled the television set at the beast,
causing it to quickly flee the scene.
Despite Vincent's heroics, there had been a great deal
of confusion amongst the authorities,
as to his role in the whole affair,
with many pointing an accusing finger at the famous author.
Vincent's highly-paid team of lawyers
had argued that their star client
had suffered a brief and unforeseeable episode.
Likely triggered by the rigors and stress of his tour.
It was therefore decided the best thing for everyone
would be if Vincent spent a few months
of rest and recuperation at the May-View health facility.
Vincent knew, of course,
not a word of what his lawyers spoke was true,
but he felt there had been enough trouble,
so he went along,
and played their games.
- [Local 1] Why would you do it?
It doesn't make any sense at all.
Complete waste of...
Oh, my.
- [Local 2] Just think about it.
- Anyway, I'm talking about this and, uh...
- Oh.
- Vincent?
Could I have your autograph, mate?
- What, you don't find me funny anymore?
- No.
No, mate.
- Sorry. - Have a beer, mate.
- [Local 3] Yeah, have a beer.
- [Narrator] Vincent found he was now surrounded
by many new friends.
Of which, quite a few were very keen to get his autograph.
But of late, it had not been on a copy of his book.
A disturbing new trend had quickly spread,
following the incident at the Hotel Continental.
One whereby any morbid or forbidding item
that bore his signature
had started to become highly sought after,
amongst many collectors from around the globe.
And as the demand grew, so too did the prices.
It seemed the beast
was now a thriving industry.
People came from all over,
to seek Vincent out in his quiet corner of the world.
And the truth be told,
the attention all started getting a bit
uncomfortable for him, after a bit.
Vincent just wanted the quiet, peaceful, country life now,
far removed from all the fuss and silliness of fame.
What had started out for Vincent,
three and a half years previously,
as a fun night in with a few of his pals,
had suddenly turned into an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord
for the ravenous beast.
Going on to become known in popular culture as
"The Slaughter at the Shack",
three innocent souls would tragically perish that night.
They were 24-year-old university student
Dok Ban Yen Nok Noi.
The acclaimed fashion photographer,
53-year-old Bridget Lambert.
And 31-year-old social influencer, musician,
and vegan activist, Rainstream Beautiful Rush.
Others were badly injured, including Vincent,
who received a very nasty blow to the back of the head.
Vincent's team of lawyers had argued that,
due to the large amount of alcohol,
narcotics and strobe lighting present on the evening,
a mass hysteria event had occurred,
and full responsibility could not be fairly proportioned
onto the shoulders of one individual alone.
Vincent was therefore eventually charged
with one count of diminished accidental misadventure,
by reason of psychotic interlude.
This lead to another stay at the May-View health facility,
where Vincent even got his old room back.
This time, for three and a half years.
Vincent knew, of course,
not a word of what his lawyers spoke was true,
but he felt there had been enough trouble,
so he went along and played their games.
Sales of "Falcon's Dive" doubled over that time, of course.
And the tire iron he had just signed for Katya
would go on to fetch over $6,000,
helping the Uber driver take a well-earned winter break,
with her girlfriend, in Bali.
Adjusting to life on the outside,
after such a long stretch of incarceration,
would prove to be a fresh new challenge for Vincent.
Getting back into some healthy habits would be vital.
He tried to write,
but the problem was...
He had nothing to say.
Vincent knew, however, he couldn't sit still for too long.
For there is nothing more dangerous
than an idle mind.
But then,
as if from the heavens above,
came a miracle.
- [George] Ed! Charlie!
That's my wife!
- Mary! - No, you don't!
Somebody call the police!
- Clarence! - Get outta here!
- [TV Announcer 1] The Hawaii chair wasn't designed
just for home.
I mean, after all, for some of us,
at least 40 hours of our week is spent...
♪ Pets, it's a Pillow Pet ♪
- [TV Announcer 2] Pillow Pets are cute, huggable pets
that pop open into full-sized pillows!
They're soft, they're...
- [TV Announcer 3] Get ready for God to touch you
with his miracle working power.
- God is touching hurting people around the world,
and now he wants to touch you
with his miracle working power.
I'm Reverend Peter Popoff.
I've traveled all around the world,
praying and sharing the good news of the gospel
with multitudes and seen the most miraculous
miracles take place.
I know that your faith will be challenged when you see
what the living Jesus Christ is doing
in the lives of men and women, setting people free.
And I believe before this program comes to a close,
you're going to be touched by the miraculous power of God.
Woo!
Praise God!
Amen!
Oh, hallelujah.
You know, I was praying for her.
She's wearing an oxygen tank.
You have lung problems too.
Don't you believe that when God touched her,
he also touched you?
Yeah!
Stand up on your feet.
Glory to God!
I'll tell you, your ministry and your testimony is not over.
God is going to make you a great blessing!
You're gonna have a great testimony!
God's going to restore your lungs! Amen!
Make them new!
Hallelujah. Let's just walk together.
You know, we could walk with God right past the undertaker!
♪ I was walking home through the Wompus woods ♪
♪ On the haunted trail ♪
♪ Just released after doing a spell ♪
♪ On the Graterton County Jail ♪
♪ When I turned the bend in the trail, I got ♪
♪ The worst fright of my life ♪
♪ The most horrid thing I've ever seen ♪
♪ The decomposin' corpse of my wife ♪
♪ In her worm-eaten hand, she held a photograph ♪
♪ Of the children that I loved so well ♪
♪ She drowned 'em in the bathtub, 20 years ago ♪
♪ And plunged me into hell ♪
♪ She was hopped up on pills and alcohol ♪
♪ Trying to still the voices in her head ♪
♪ But the voices told her exactly what to do ♪
♪ And then our kids were dead ♪
♪ With a death rattle voice, she spoke to me ♪
♪ And she told me that my soul ain't right ♪
♪ She vowed to send me to join my sons ♪
♪ On that very night ♪
♪ When she reached for me, I woke with a ♪
- Oh.
Thank you for the gifts you give me every day.
The meal, the food, the water, the wine.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Thank God.
Praise be to Popoff. Praise be to Jesus.
Thank you, God.
Hoo!
♪ Thank you, Jesus ♪
♪ Thank you, God ♪
♪ Reverend Popoff ♪
♪ Thank you, God ♪
- Floor three. ♪ Thank you, Jesus ♪
♪ Thank you, God ♪
- [Narrator] When word got out
that Vincent was finally writing again,
after such a long period of recess,
following "Falcon's Dive",
everyone in the publishing industry had been desperate
to get a sneak peak at what he'd been working on.
And none more so than his agent, Eloise Bergman.
But Vincent had kept them all waiting.
And as to what he had been working on all that time?
Well, that was a complete mystery.
To everyone but Vincent.
- Miracle springwater? - Miracle springwater.
- And, uh, what...
Oh, oh. - Sorry.
It's my eye.
No, you don't have to. It affects your judgment a little.
- Right. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. - Sorry.
Now, just, if you move it- - Oh, yes, there we go.
- If you you move it, it just makes it...
You give me a moving target, so it actually makes it harder.
- Okay.
- There you go. - Thank you, Vincenzo.
- It's pretty good stuff.
I rip through a bit of it.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- To you, my darling. - To you, too.
God bless you and praise you.
- Thank you.
Woo!
Oh!
How many?
- There's 12 in total. 12 books.
- This
could go on
for years.
May I?
- [Vincent] Please.
- Here we go.
- [Narrator] "Mr. Cotton Bud" was a fictional
children's adventure series.
Not only did the books promote good dental hygiene
and personal skin care,
but they also included lots of fun and adventures to boot.
Vincent convinced Eloise to set up a national tour.
An opportunity to introduce "Mr. Cotton Bud"
to children across the country.
Regrettably, things got off to a shaky start
when just minutes prior to his guest appearance
on the children's television show "Bubble and Squeak",
Eloise inexplicably threw herself
from the 21st floor of the Children's Network
broadcast building on the east side of town.
Vincent could've packed it all in, right there and then.
But this was bigger than just him.
This one
was for the kids.
Despite the initial tragedy,
Vincent felt a strong sense of optimism
and hope for the "Cotton Bud" tour and all that lay beyond.
For with Jesus by his side,
he knew the future looked bright.
- You've got a lovely salon here, Rosa.
- Thank you.
- Hair dryers and clippers and what's...
Oh, that's like a drawer.
That's a set of drawers to put stuff in.
And I like the natural sense of light that comes in.
It really fills the space.
- Thank you. - Must be from that sun roof.
- Mm. - Yeah, it's beautiful.
- Mm. - Yeah.
It's very nice. - Thank you.
What could I do for you today?
- Well, I'm looking for just something that's gonna be
a bit different, to be honest with you, because I'm, I'm...
My hair's just gone flat! It's, like, died on itself a bit.
It's just, like, flat!
So, I'm thinking if we shave it up a bit,
we might be able to get a bit of pizazz back in it,
'cause, you know, with hairdos,
you have to be individualistic.
You can't let the common
tell you what you're gonna do with it.
- Sure. Sounds good. - Thanks, Rosa.
How's the weather been for you?
- Not bad, not bad.
- Yeah.
Do you...
Do you have coffee? - Yep.
- Can I please get one?
- Sure.
How would you like it? - Oh, I'll get white and two.
- No worries. - Is it, um...
Is it a cappuccino machine?
- [Rosa] Flat white.
- Oh, really?
Oh, don't worry about it.
- [Rosa] Okay. Cool.
- Oh, actually, I will have one.
- Yep? - Yeah.
A flat white and two, thanks.
- Lady, listen! Now, don't you move.
I don't wanna hurt you.
All I want is the money in the till.
You give me that and I'll just walk away,
and nobody needs to get hurt.
Okay?
- [Vincent] I haven't had my cut yet!
- [Jesse] Oh, my fucking God, dude! What...
I mean, what the fuck?
What kinda cheap motherfucker keeps $11 in the float, man?
11 fucking dollars!
Shit!
That's no fucking way to start a small business.
They'll have every cop this side of the fucking river
looking for us.
God!
Shit!
That is no fucking way to run a small business!
Fucking going to jail.
We're gonna get incarcerated.
Fucking incarcerated, man. Do you know what...
Incarcerated!
Are you hearing me, man? Huh?
Are you fucking hearing me?
♪ Reverend Popoff and my God ♪
♪ Thank you, Jesus ♪
♪ Thank you, God ♪
♪ Reverend Popoff and my God ♪
♪ And my Jesus ♪
♪ Thank you, God ♪
♪ Reverend Popoff and my God ♪
- Man of faith!
Well...
Kinda hard to believe in God
when you're freezing your balls off, out here,
night after night.
- God has a plan for us all.
- Is that right?
So, what plan does he have for you?
- It's a work in progress.
- That's, that's a good one.
"A work in progress."
That's funny.
Oh, you're funny, all right.
"A work in progress."
- No one said the journey was supposed to be easy.
- Oh, it's...
Don't pay me no mind.
I mean, it just sounded funny is all, you know?
Some things sound funny.
Some things just sound funny.
Mm!
All right.
Oof!
My dogs.
They barking.
You gotta watch whose company you keep around here.
If you know what I mean.
Ooh-hoo-hoo.
Uh!
Mm.
My name's Jesse.
- [Vincent] I'm, I'm Vincent.
- All right, Vincent.
Tell me.
How did you end up here, underneath this here bridge?
- "Mr. Cotton Bud".
- Mr. Cotton Bud?
Where's he dealin' from?
- Well, Mr- - Ah, look.
It don't make, no, never mind.
They're all just blood-sucking motherfuckers anyway!
- Mr. Cotton Bud was the, um, he was the lead character
in a children's book I wrote.
- Oh.
Oh.
Oh, okay. Well, look.
I ain't heard of this Cotton Bud motherfucker, so...
Ooh.
- Well, that's because most of the books
ended up in landfill.
- Landfill?
Hell.
Shit, son. I ain't never heard of that happening to no book.
Must've not been that well written.
- Oh, well, there's um...
There's other elements involved, Jesse.
It, it's not just the writing.
- What other elements?
- Well, there's um...
Well, there's the illustrations.
- Ah.
Aw, man. Look, it's all right, it's all right, man.
Look, maybe writing's just not your forte. (chuckles)
- Oh, well, I'm...
I'm not sure about that. My...
My first book was quite well received.
- Oh, was it now?
And what was that one called? "Mrs. Cotton Bud"?
- Have you, um... - Oh, shit.
- [Vincent] Have you heard of a book called "Falcon's Dive"?
- What was that?
- "Falcon's Dive".
Have you heard of it?
- What time is it?
Time, time. You got a, got a piece, a clock, a stop...
What, what time is it?
- It's...
It's 9:37 PM.
- Seven years,
five months,
two weeks, three days and
27 minutes ago.
Right where your feet are sitting right now,
I, I, I found this.
"Falcon's Dive".
It was calling me.
It was like a, a pre-ordained connection. A collision.
Just the way the universe wanted it.
This.
This here.
This here is my bible, man.
My bible.
- Well...
I'm very glad you like my book.
- Oh, fuck you, man!
Look, don't you blaspheme!
I never wanna hear you say that again!
Don't you fucking blaspheme around me.
- [Vincent] Well, what do you think the man
who wrote that book looks like?
- Oh, I got no God damn idea.
Do you think I got a TV or internet rolling around in here?
- [Vincent] Well, why don't you look inside your book?
- Ain't no pictures in this book!
- Which, which edition is that?
- [Jesse] (sighs) It's...
It's third.
- Ah, that, that, that makes sense.
I had my picture taken out by that edition.
You know, Jesse, um, anonymity's, it's...
It's very underrated, until it gets taken away.
There are many, many days that I wish I'd,
I'd never written that book.
- God damn it! I told you, didn't I?
What did I say?
I told you not to blaspheme now, didn't I?
Didn't I? Huh?
Didn't I?
- Now, now, Jesse, I...
I've got something for you.
- Ah!
Now you're coming around.
There we go. Now we're getting to the subject, huh?
We're getting to the subject now.
All right, come on. Give me that candy, give me that candy.
Ah, go slow, go slow.
Go slow.
Yeah. Now we're talkin'.
Now...
What the fuck is this?
- That's "Falcon's Dive".
- Oh, you better bring out some candy, son,
or I might do a little stabby stabby.
- That, that, that's first edition.
Just, just look inside the back sleeve.
I've, uh, I've signed that, by the way.
You can, you can keep that copy.
- What's your picture doing in here?
- Oh, I, I...
I think we both know the answer to that one, Jesse.
- [Jesse] You've arrived!
- I'm here now. I've arrived.
- [Jesse] You've arrived!
♪ They placed their crown ♪
♪ Of thorns on his head ♪
♪ Soon ♪
♪ He would be dead ♪
- Is everything okay, Jesse?
You seem quiet lately.
- Yes, I'm...
I'm fine, my scribe.
- Are you happy doing this work?
- [Jesse] Serving you makes me
the happiest man on the planet.
- And yet, I can, um...
I can see something bothers you, my sweet Jesse.
- It's, um...
It's...
Oh, look. It's not that important.
- Please.
Go on.
- It's, uh...
It's...
It's Cotton Bud.
- You read him?
- Last week.
At the public library.
Look, I'm, I'm, I'm...
I'm confused, my scribe. Um...
Okay, so, Cotton Bud and his crew,
they just hang out in the bathroom cabinet, all day long?
- Yes.
- They never go anywhere, they never do anything.
I mean, nothing ever happens.
Nothing.
- Well...
Perhaps the bathroom cabinet is a microcosm of our society.
A...
A reflection. A...
A statement.
An irony.
- Hm.
But you've got to have the elements, man.
The three elements of story.
Plot, conflict, resolution.
And "Mr. Cotton Bud"? Well, he ain't got none of that.
Look, look, see, don't you see?
This is a modern day tragedy.
I mean, how can you go from writing "Falcon's Dive"
to "Mr. Cotton Bud"?
I mean...
You know? Look, look.
You need to drop all this Reverend Popoff and, and,
and "Mr. Cotton Bud" bullshit right now, and get to that,
that, that pure, unfiltered,
unadulterated Vincent flowing again!
That "Falcon's Dive" Vincent!
- Oh, you don't want that Vincent.
That's a...
That's a very bad Vincent.
- Oh, bullshit, man!
Come on!
No! That's...
That's the great Vincent.
That is the best Vincent.
Yeah.
Yeah, man. I'm telling you, man.
You don't have no idea what that book means to people.
You have no idea.
You know, there's just something about it.
There's just something about it. It's just essence, man.
It's just an essence of...
Hold on, hold on.
And you know what?
If you can get back to that,
we'll be on to something.
Yep.
Let's go.
- [Narrator] Maybe Jesse was right.
Perhaps Cotton Bud was a modern day tragedy,
and "Falcon's Dive" was pure essence.
So, after a brief deliberation,
Vincent made the decision to try to find the man
who wrote that book.
But to do that, he would also need to find the beast,
as the two were one of the same.
- Man that is no fucking way, to run a small business!
Shit!
We're gonna have every pig this side of the river
looking for us.
Look, man. What've we gotta do to entice this thing, huh?
I mean, what've we gotta do?
- [Narrator] That which we search for
can often be harder to find
than that which simply comes to us.
And this proved to be the case, in finding the beast.
Even with Jesse's unwavering
and devoted commitment to the cause,
simply getting up to mischief had, so far,
proved to be unsuccessful
in luring the elusive animal from its slumber.
- [Jesse] Look, man.
What've we gotta do to entice this thing, huh?
I mean, what've got to do?
- [Narrator] Micky St. Peters was a local drug dealer,
pimp, pedophile.
An all-round bastard of a man.
Rumor had it,
his mother had dropped him on the head as a baby.
Regardless, when Vincent made the suggestion to Jesse
they use a human bait as burley,
to try and lure the elusive beast out of hiding,
Jesse immediately thought of his old pal Micky
as an excellent candidate for the position.
♪ What've we got for lunch? ♪
♪ It's a lovely bunch of cockney lads ♪
♪ Oi, oi, oi ♪
♪ Look at 'em all just standing in a row ♪
♪ Oi ♪
♪ Big ones, short ones, even rolly polly ones ♪
♪ Little ginger-haired ones ♪
♪ It was just what the showman said ♪
♪ I've got a lovely bunch of go-go nuts, ah ♪
♪ We fling ourselves around from town to town ♪
♪ We all enjoy the life, even when there's strife ♪
♪ Pinch a punch, a po, a penny a pinch ♪
♪ Yeah, pinch a punch, a po, a penny a pinch ♪
- Shut it, you toilet.
Oi!
You fucking toilet.
Oh, hello, boys!
I just bought this shirt!
Oh.
- [Jesse] What the fuck?
What the fuck? Who the fuck did these roads?
- [Vincent] They're country roads, Jesse.
- What the hell? - That's how they're built.
- [Jesse] God damn.
- Beautiful out here, though. Very nice bushland.
- [Jesse] Well, it's nice but, gee, it was far away. Init?
- The seclusion is one of the main attractions of the place.
It's isolated. It's nice.
Watch this dip down here. This gets very, very unsteady.
- [Jesse] Okay. Oh, okay.
- Yes, the water's filling up, this time of year.
- [Jesse] What, they just have a bridge for that?
What, that body of water?
Couldn't you just walk over it?
- No, but the water fills up. You need to have a bridge.
- [Jesse] Oh. That makes...
Okay.
- This is gold country. There's gold in those hills.
- [Jesse] Oh, so if I go down there, I can get some gold?
- You could potentially get some gold,
if you knew how to find it.
I know how to find it.
- What, you have to find gold?
Isn't gold just in the ground?
- [Vincent] It's not just coming out of the ground, Jesse.
You have to find it. I could show you how to find it.
I don't choose to find it. I choose to do other things.
- [Jesse] Oh, because you're the gold finder?
- Well, I'm... (sighs)
Oh, forget it. Forget it.
Forget I even mentioned it.
He has shit himself.
- [Jesse] Oh!
- No, he's shitting himself now.
- Yes. - He has defecated himself.
On repeated occasions.
That's quite extraordinary, actually.
- [Jesse] Oh!
God damn. That's more than shit, though.
- Yes, it's something else, isn't it?
- Good lord. - I'm not sure what that is.
- [Jesse] That has to be the worst thing I've ever smelt,
and I'm homeless.
This car's ruined. - He's...
Well, it's a stolen car, Jesse. It's not your car.
I always know to turn right here,
because of this beautiful tree, which is very much...
It's very distinctive.
- [Jesse] Then how do you drive at night?
- [Vincent] Well you have headlights and it lights-
- Yeah, but you can see that from the road?
- [Vincent] Yes.
- [Jesse] So, let me get this straight, you, you...
Mm, never mind. That's, that's fine.
- What? What's your question?
- [Jesse] Well, my question is,
if you're going home, it happens to be at night,
your headlights aren't gonna be shooting up in the air-
- Oh, for God sake. - Like, I'm just saying.
How do you find your way home?
- [Vincent] Your headlights illuminate the tree!
- [Jesse] I understand that,
but that tree was on top of a hill.
- [Vincent] Oh, my God.
- [Jesse] It's not like your car is pointing up.
You know what I mean? - Yeah, but headlights...
Jesse, have you ever driven at night?
- I'm driving now. Of course I've driven at night.
- Headlights don't go directly straight.
They also project outwards.
They have some light that illuminates outwards, as well.
Have you not seen that, when you drive at night?
It's not like a straight line.
There's an outward projection of light that's like a sphere!
- [Jesse] Mm. Yes.
- So, the sphere of light catches the tree!
- [Jesse] Mm-hm.
I think you're too tense.
I would appreciate it more, if you said,
"Jesse, shut the fuck up."
Instead of going around in circles,
to make it sound as if, like, "Oh, well, you know what?
I'm above it all."
- [Vincent] I'm not crude, Jesse.
I don't talk to people that way.
- [Jesse] Oh, you're not crude.
- If it makes you feel better, you're right and I'm wrong.
- [Jesse] Oh, well lets not be condescending.
- [Vincent] This would have to be the longest car trip
I've ever had to this cabin.
Admire the countryside,
and let's try and have a nice rest of the trip, okay?
- Right, so basically- - Because I'm going...
The stars are so bright out here.
It's almost like someone painted them onto the sky.
- This fucker stinks as bad outside
as he did inside the car.
How is that even possible?
I mean, the open air is supposed to help ventilate.
Fuck, man. Come on, just fuckin'...
Fuckin' ventilate, man. Ventilate!
- It's strange how,
how some of these stars don't even exist.
Yet still, we see them.
It's ironic, isn't it, that we look up in amazement,
at things that don't exist, yet at the same time,
we ignore the things here on the ground,
right in front of us, that do?
- Yeah. You got that right.
- What did you do, Jesse?
- I, uh, put a shiv right in his chest.
Right through his fucking heart.
- Oh, I know that, but I mean,
what did you do, long before that?
- I don't know what you mean.
- Like, what did you do?
- Oh, okay. Um...
I surveyed land for roads.
It was a good job.
Mainly worked in the country.
Got to see lots of different places.
Different things.
People, towns.
Nature.
It was beautiful.
I mean, it was hard work but I enjoyed it.
Yeah.
And it kept food on the table for my wife and my...
My boys.
My two boys.
I guess they'd be damn near grown now.
Wherever they are.
You know, you're right.
They do look painted on.
What was that?
- Oh, that's nothing.
That's just a rabbit.
- Hey, you motherfucker!
Where are ya?
We're here!
We're waiting for ya!
We're not afraid.
We're not afraid!
Look!
I did it for you!
Look!
Look what I've done!
I put a...
Oh, sh...
Oh, shit, shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Up, up.
I killed a man. I killed a man.
I killed a man.
For you, I killed a man.
For you.
I killed a man.
Oh, Jesus Christ. What have I done?
Give me the car keys.
Give me the car keys!
- I tried to warn you.
- [Jesse] I want out.
- But you insisted.
- I want out!
I want out! I want no more of this!
- Oh, yes!
You insisted.
- I'm done.
I'm done.
- You know...
If only people had just let him into their lives.
Let him be their friend.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- He didn't deserve to die in the ground like that.
It was undignified.
- This is about Cotton Bud, isn't it?
Oh, Jesus Christ. Would you let it go?
- He never hurt anyone.
He just wanted to be loved.
He just wanted to be their friend, but I guess, Jesse,
he just, he just wasn't part of some in-crowd.
He didn't get the invite. He missed out on that one.
Maybe he wasn't...
What's the word you lot use? Maybe he wasn't groovy enough.
Maybe that's it.
Or maybe he just wasn't enough of a bad boy,
because at the end of the day, everyone loves the bad boys.
- No, man.
He was fucking boring.
Boring.
- Well, you know what, Jesse?
At least I did something.
At least I tried. What did you ever do?
You never did anything.
Oh, you did something.
You rode off everyone else's coattails,
hoping your sorry arse would get saved,
because you never took responsibility for anything.
And then when something goes wrong,
you sook and cry, like a little baby.
- I just want a hot bath, man.
And a bed.
Warm, clean sheets on my own bed,
in my own house with a yard.
And I could do some gardening.
And I could go down to the nursery and I could pick up,
I could pick up some different flowers and plants
that I could put in it, depending on the season,
and then on Sundays, I could wash the car.
Silver metallic Mustang.
All leather interior.
And I could wash it,
in my own driveway.
- So why don't you go away?
- Oh.
So, this
is about personal responsibility?
- Yes, Jesse. - Mm.
- Yes, it is. - Well, that's rich.
Coming from you.
So, coming from a guy who thought Reverend Popoff's
Miracle Springwater
was going to save his life,
even though it comes from the fucking tap.
And how his books
didn't sell, because of the illustrations.
Let me tell you something.
If Rembrandt himself
had hand painted each one of those books,
they still would've stank like dog shit.
And I hope they bury "Mr. Cotton Bud" deep in that landfill.
Because I can guarantee you,
if you ever write about that motherfucker again,
that's exactly where they're gonna end up.
Deep in the ground,
where they fucking belong!
With all the rest of 'em.
- You take that back.
- I ain't taking back shit.
- I said, take it back.
- Good morning.
Did you sleep well?
- Not bad.
You wanna dance with me, scribe?
I know a lot of steps.
I can boogaloo.
I can disco.
I can tap dance.
I can do the bus-stop, the jerk.
I could do whatever you want!
Come on, doc.
Come on.
Come on with it.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Oh! Oh!
Oh, we got a little quicker, didn't we? Huh?
Oh, come on now!
Oh!
Okay, you're getting a little...
Getting a little deep here, huh?
Oh!
Come on. Ooh!
Come on now. Oh!
Oh, come on now. You gotta do better than that.
I'm Baryshnikov with this shit.
I made a pot of coffee.
I thought you might like some.
- That sounds lovely.
- Come on. Come on, what you gonna do, huh?
What you gonna do? You a big man now, huh?
You a big man? Oh!
Fuck you. Come on, give me that shit.
Fucking thing, you child.
Fuck you.
I won't need that, either.
Fuck you goin'?
Yeah.
Where the fuck you goin'?
Like you gonna get away from me, huh?
Like you're gonna get the fuck away from me.
Where you going, son? Huh?
Get over here. Get the fuck over here.
Huh?
Where the fuck are you? Huh?
Get over here. Get the fuck over here.
- Okay then, Jesse.
Well...
Let's go get a lovely cup of that coffee you made.
- Micky's gone.
- Yes.
- It's beautiful here.
- [Vincent] Yes.
- I was thinking of going for a walk later this morning.
If you would like to join me.
- I thought I might...
Write.
- Good idea.
Where the fuck are you? There, huh?
Now, listen to me.
I want you to say "Mr. Cotton Bud is poorly written!"
- No!
Now, you say it and I'll let you go!
"Mr. Cotton Bud is poorly written!"
- No. - Fuck you, man.
Would you mind,
if I joined you?
Now, I'm not fucking with you, man! You hear me?
I want you to say,
"Mr. Cotton Bud is poorly fucking written!"
- Mr. Cotton Bud is my child!
And unlike some people...
I don't abandon my children.
- Well, guess what?
You about to get ready to see them
in the fucking afterlife, my scribe.
What was that?
- It's not a rabbit.
A collaboration.
Why not?
- [Narrator] Vincent would miss the shack.
This old place, hobbled together
with rusty nails and tired wood
had given him a second chance.
But it was time.
Time to leave.