[soft melodic music]
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[static crackling]
[keyboard tapping]
[soft orchestral music]
- [audience applauding] - [mellow upbeat music]
[Announcer] "The Dick Cavett Show!"
Tonight's guest is Marlon Brando!
[audience applauding]
Ah... [stammers]
You'll go too far and then hate yourself in the morning.
- [audience laughing] - Very nice to see you.
My guest flew all the way from Tahiti
to be here tonight, which set some kind of record, I think.
I'm very honored to have him here.
You have caught glimpses of him in the past
as Stanley Kowalski in "Streetcar Named Desire,"
Zapata in "Viva Zapata!"
Mark Anthony in "Julius Caesar,"
Terry Malloy in "On the Waterfront,"
Vito Corleone in "The Godfather,"
and Paul in "Last Tango in Paris."
He despises superlatives and he's often been called
the best actor in America or in the world,
but I wanna downplay that tonight,
'cause I want him to be happy.
Will you welcome please Mr. Marlon Brando.
[audience applauding]
Are you wiped out from the jet trip?
Yeah.
Yes, I am.
There are two books in print
purporting to tell the story of your life,
your rages, your excesses, your lusts, your dreams.
[audience laughing]
I think that I'm almost quoting
from the cover of one of them.
Can we trust those, and if not,
how do they get away with it?
[sighing] Well...
I don't think...
I don't know what to say about that.
[audience laughing]
- [traditional Polynesian music] - [vocalist singing Tahitian]
[music and singing continue]
[music and singing fades out]
[waves lapping gently]
[Old Bernie] When most folks think of Tahiti,
they think of white sand and mai tais.
[waves lapping gently]
My first visit wasn't so romantic.
[Bernie groaning softly]
[door thudding]
You have to remember at this time,
I was an aspiring architect based in Los Angeles.
Ron.
Oh, pardon my intrusion, gentlemen.
Bernie, this is Jack Bellin.
I was just telling him how you started
and your groundbreaking work with Buckminster Fuller.
I, I hear you like to build great big domes
and stuff like that, it's pretty neat stuff.
Well, I guess you could say I'm passionate
about designing structurally efficient environments
that are easily constructed
in the most inhospitable areas of the world.
Yeah, me too, that's why I chose Beverly Hills.
[all laughing]
You speak French, Bernie?
[Bernie speaking French]
Works for me.
I'd like you to act as my representative
to locate a property where I can build a new resort.
I see, well,
where exactly were you thinking of building this resort?
Tahiti.
Tahiti?
Hm, he likes that, huh?
Come by my office tomorrow, we'll talk some more.
[hand patting]
Ron.
Tahiti.
[soft melodic music]
Sabrina, show me where Tahiti is on the map.
Yeah, sure, it's right here next to Switzerland.
What?
Just kidding, it's the capital of French Polynesia,
it's made up of hundreds of small little islands
like Tahiti, Bora Bora,
Moorea and others.
Smarty pants.
Hey, I think that this job is a great opportunity for you.
I just have so many valuable projects I'm working on here.
Well, yeah, you have valuable projects.
You also have your job as the historical conservationist
for the city of Los Angeles.
It's an unpaid position, but as I always say,
[Both] The experience could be invaluable.
[Dana chuckling]
Suppose it could turn out to be worthwhile.
I mean, just make sure you get paid this time.
Yeah, you should go, Dad.
It'll help you crawl out of your shell.
My shell?
What am I, a crab?
Ah-huh.
[all laughing]
You're always looking for a new opportunity, just go.
Go.
[Both] Go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go, go! - Okay, okay!
Okay, okay.
I'll go, I'll go.
Who knows? The experience-
[All] Could be invaluable.
You guys are catching on.
[Dana chuckling]
[melodic upbeat music]
And that's how I found myself on my first flight to Tahiti
for what I thought would be a short excursion.
Bonjour, monsieur.
[melodic upbeat music]
So did you make the right choice?
Right choice?
Seat 12A, you had the chicken Kiev.
Yes, yes, yes.
You know, for dining 30,000 feet in the air, it was superb.
[Michelle laughing]
Is this your first trip to Tahiti?
Ah-huh, and if all goes well, there'll be many more.
How so?
My client wants to build a hotel here
and I'm supposed to sniff around the islands
and look for a suitable spot for it.
Hm, there's so many lovely spots here in French Polynesia.
Yep.
Here, tell me, you ever heard of the island?
Yeah, it's called Tetiaroa.
It's beautiful and remote, but it's private.
I think you won't be able to visit,
the owner is very protective of it.
Well, my client apparently knows the owner
and he wants me to visit for research.
Really? He knows the owner?
I'm sorry, I have to catch my next flight.
You be careful out there.
Careful? That shouldn't be a problem.
If anything, I'm told I'm way too cautious.
Hm.
[traditional Polynesian music]
[traditional Polynesian music continues]
[in French] No, sir. We can't go to Tetiaroa.
[in English] Outside the bay, fishing, very nice. No Tetiaroa.
I really gotta visit that atoll.
[crewman speaking French]
Boats cannot go there.
See, it's protected by a coral reef.
Okay, well, then I'll just swim there from the boat.
Just get me close.
[in French] He wants to swim to Tetiaroa.
Of course, popa’a.
Yeah, he gets it, I'll swim.
[crewmen speaking French]
[in French] Another crazy popa'a.
[crewmen speaking French]
[Old Bernie] He called me popaa,
it's the Tahitian word for sunburned, white Westerner.
It wasn't a great start.
[bright melodic music]
[crewmen speaking French]
[Bernie] This doesn't look so bad.
See the coral? It's very sharp.
And the current is very strong.
No need to worry, I was a Seabee in the Navy.
A Seabee?
[crewman speaking French]
Please, I can find another area for you to swim.
[Bernie] I'll be safe.
[Captain Sui] Stay here on the boat.
[in French] Don't worry!
- [waves crashing] - [mellow dramatic music]
[Bernie gasping]
- [waves crashing] - [mellow dramatic music]
[crewmen shouting in French]
[Old Bernie] I probably should've
listened to his advice.
[crewmen speaking French]
- [muffled Bernie grunting] - [mellow dramatic music]
[Bernie groaning softly]
[waves lapping]
[gentle orchestral music]
[gentle orchestral music continues]
[in French] Come on.
Let's go rescue the popa'a.
[Old Bernie] After a brief visit at the local hospital,
I thought I should meet
with the mysterious owner of the island.
[bright melodic music]
Hello?
[local speaking French]
Oh, hey, I, I...
Hello?
Hello.
Bonjour.
Oh.
[both speaking French]
I'm looking for the owner of this house.
[both speaking French]
[in French] Behind you.
Who are you and what are you doing in my home?
Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry, I'm Bernard Judge and er,
your door was wide open.
All doors here are open. Tahiti, there are no locks.
You, um, you're Marlon Brando.
Ah-huh. What are you doing in my house?
Well, I'm here looking for hotel properties
for my client, Jack Bellin,
who apparently, is a friend of yours.
What's that name again?
Bellin, Jack Bellin.
Jack Bellin? Never heard of him.
So tell you what, I'm gonna call the authorities
and you, sir, are gonna spend
the rest of your visit in the hoosegow.
Oh no, I-I-
What's his name, what, Balloon?
Bellin.
Huh? Don't ring a bell.
Bellini, you want a Bellini?
[both laughing]
Jack Bellin.
Jack Bullshit.
Well...
I did not know you didn't know each other.
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.
He wired me three days ago, told me you were coming.
I was wondering what took you so long.
Clearly, you've been busy.
Oh yeah, well, the coral won the battle, but not the war.
Listen, he vouched for you, you gotta be a good egg.
Can you swim?
Yes, yes, I'm a great swimmer.
- Great. - In the Navy, I was a Seabee.
All right, Seabee,
let's swim through the hole in the reef.
It's like an aquarium out there,
giant fish, they just swim right by you.
Oh, well, I mean, I'd love to but no swimsuit.
We don't need swimsuits.
Well, I mean, it's dangerous, isn't it?
Oh, you must be referring to the snapping turtles, right?
Oh no, the toothpick fish.
Too-toothpick fish?
Yeah, they're from the Amazon.
They swim right up your urine tract
and they lodge themselves in your urethra,
and when they open, it's like a fish hook,
they just take hold
and apparently the pain is excruciating.
Given a knife, most men would cut off their own penis.
Well, we're, well, we're far from the Amazon, so.
That's right, we're far from there.
Yeah.
All right, Seabee, drop those drawers.
Let's hit the juice.
Okay, um.
What's the matter, you're not one of those
uptight LA architects, are you?
Um.
Boy, everybody's naked.
[both laughing]
Come on, it's almost feeding time.
Got a set of fins, they're down by the stairs!
- [soft melodic music] - [Bernie breathing deeply]
Ow!
[soft melodic music]
[Old Bernie] And that is how I met Marlon Brando.
[vocalist singing in foreign language]
[cheerful melodic music]
[cheerful melodic music continues]
[muffled Bernie yelling]
[Marlon laughing]
I can't believe you tried to out swim a shark.
[Bernie groaning softly]
- [Marlon laughing] - You didn't even move.
I mean, how did you get away?
They're blacktip reef sharks, they're harmless.
[Marlon laughing]
[Bernie groaning softly]
Oh, that was priceless.
[Old Bernie] I knew Marlon
was the biggest movie star in the world,
but what I didn't know
was how involved he was in the civil rights movement.
Until I saw him on TV after his friend, Martin Luther King
had just been assassinated.
If the vacuum
formed by King's death
isn't filled with concern
and, and understanding
and a measure of love,
then I think we're really gonna be lost in this country.
It is time to stand up and be counted in this country,
where you stand, rather than just talking about it.
Yeah, the only thing that I could think of
was to come up with a program,
whereby,
people would contribute
no less than 1% of their year's earnings
to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference,
which was King's organization, in the name of nonviolence.
And I'm going to give up 10% of my earnings.
I would be happy to give you a check
for 1% of my income for the year for exactly what you want,
and I hope it does some good.
- [audience applauding] - Thank you.
[Old Bernie] I was surprised to find out that Marlon
was just as passionate about the environment
as he was about human rights.
You know, the French tested
their nuclear weapons right here?
Yeah, they released a radioactive cloud
right above these islands, cowards all.
The overseas minister escapes under the cover of night
leaving the Polynesian people in the dark
without solace and information and recompense.
Huh, shocking!
Colonial powers like the French
and the English and the United States
are irresponsible stewards of the environment.
[sighing] Their rapacious appetites go unabated.
Cheese?
The American Indian understood
that we're all just guests on this planet .
We have to honor and respect the earth.
Yet the motion picture industry still portrays them
as merely ruthless savages.
More cheese?
Earth is our most precious resource
and we have to protect it vigorously.
We have to find a way for us all to exist here together.
We have to find a way...
To protect, to share earth's precious bounty.
[soft melodic music]
[child and Marlon speaking French]
I almost forgot, I'm having a kid.
- [soft melodic music] - Come on, let's go.
[Tarita groaning loudly]
[all speaking French]
- [Tarita groaning loudly] - [midwife speaking French]
Come on, come on!
[Tarita groaning loudly]
- [baby crying] - [all laughing]
Whoo!
Look at that.
[Local Cook] Manuia.
Mauruuru.
[Bernie] Wow.
And that's a small one, get used to it.
What was that last thing he said to you by the way?
He said, "Manuia" which is congratulations in Tahitian.
Oh, he's congratulating you and your wife, okay.
You know, technically, Tarita and I are not married.
Oh, I didn't know that, my apologies.
No apologies necessary.
We're there for each other
and she is the mother of two of my children,
but we still maintain our freedoms.
That's admirable.
I don't think my wife would go for that,
but you know how different LA is.
That is why I want my baby girl to be raised here
just unaffected by that self-aggrandizing cesspool
that is that town.
That surprises me.
I mean, you've made so many wonderful films there.
Films are a business.
Acting is a craft, it's a profession.
But I'm a tradesman,
and it's no different than being an electrician
or a grave digger or an architect.
Yes, yes, but I mean, come on,
you've won an Academy Award.
Bernie, please.
That is all bullshit.
I've come to realize that
I am not worthy of all the attention
directed to me by the public.
The primary benefit that acting affords me
is the money to pay
for my psychoanalysis and my air travel.
Because this, this is the one place
that no one's gonna come up to me
and ask me for an autograph,
no one's gonna pitch me a movie script.
And it's far more valuable to me
than any award or any movie.
[bright music]
It's funny you mentioned that,
I actually have an idea for a movie
I'd love to discuss with you.
[people chattering]
[laughs] Yeah, story about an architect
who gets fed to the sharks.
Yeah, well, oh, actually that's way better than my idea.
All right, all right, that's it, you're staying with me.
While you're doing your hotel project,
you're staying with me.
Oh, no, no-
No, there is no argument here.
Now get that grub in your tub,
we gotta build a primer here
'cause you and me kid, we're gonna get blotto.
We gotta celebrate the birth of my new child
and the arrival of my new roommate.
Manuia.
[People] Manuia!
[lively music]
[Bernie] According to Holiday Magazine,
Quinn's Bar was the worst bar in the world.
A watering hole of dope heads and derelicts,
runaway husbands and french sailors.
[lively music continues]
Unsurprisingly, it was Marlon's favorite.
[lively music continues]
You know what this means?
I have no idea.
Do you know what it means?
I got no fucking idea.
But I love it!
[lively music continues]
[bottle clinking]
[upbeat music]
[people cheering]
[speaks Tahitian]
[upbeat music continues]
[Bernie] There at Quinn's,
thousands of miles from home and surrounded by strangers,
Marlon Brando was able to feel at home,
[upbeat music continues]
and I'm beginning to see why.
[Jack] Are you sure this guy Judge can handle this job?
I don't want him out there just drinking
and carousing on my dime while we sit here
with our thumbs up our butts.
Oh no, I can assure you,
Bernie is completely focused.
[phone ringing]
Why don't I get Bernie on the phone?
Yeah, why don't you get him on the phone, huh?
Don't spend it all in one place.
[gentle music]
[gentle music continues]
[kids chattering]
[kids laughing]
[gentle music continues]
You're up early, huh?
Yeah, well, I don't know
where they all came from suddenly,
but there's strange children all over the place.
In Tahiti, children have to go to any house.
We're parents to all, it's our way here.
Huh.
You Popaa don't understand us at first,
but the longer you live here,
the more Tahitian you'll become.
You'll see.
[birds tweeting]
[Bernie] Were you in my bed?
Mm-hm.
[bright music]
[chicken clucking]
This job was starting to look like
an exercise in futility.
I was stuck far away from my family for way too long
and not making progress on the location.
[bright music continues]
That was until I found the perfect spot
on the island of Moorea, Queens Beach.
[bright music continues]
Pardon, this is Queens Beach?
[Fisherman] Oui.
Why do they call it Queens Beach?
[in French] Because it is owned by the Queen of Tahiti.
She lives just up there.
I'll take you.
Merci.
[soft music]
Your majesty.
Ia Orana, your highness.
Ia Orana, to what do I owe
the pleasure of this visitation?
I would like to discuss
the possible sale of your property, the Queens Beach.
In that case, you may rise.
Come with me.
You have a very lovely place, your highness.
Oh, you may call me Madame Leroy.
It was built for me by my first husband,
Monsieur Georges Duplantier Villajardin de Beaufort.
He was an architect like you.
Shame he died so young.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
How did he die?
No one knows.
[footsteps tapping]
This was painted for me by my second husband, Edgar Leroy.
[Bernie] It's beautiful.
So you are familiar with his work?
No, I'm sorry, I'm not.
Hmm, he's very famous.
Even James Michener mentioned him in a book,
he said he was the greatest scoundrel
in all of the South Seas.
Oh, he sounds like a very, very interesting chap.
He was insatiable,
ah, drinking hard living womanizer.
Not such a shame he died young.
Once again, I'm so sorry, I think...
Do we know how he died?
Oh, it's ghastly.
Sofuckatated.
So what?
Sofuckatated.
You say sofuckatated in English?
Suffocated, suffocation.
Okay, I see.
Ah, enough tragedy.
Come, join us for dinner, hmm?
[water trickling]
I see you looking.
Oh, no.
I wouldn't. [chuckles]
Well, I know you like my jewelry.
Ah, yes, it's very impressive.
Mm, merci.
[glasses clinking]
It was given to me by my fourth husband, Carl.
Oh, your fourth?
Oui, he's an American.
Guess I have a soft spot for you Americans, eh?
Well, will your husband be joining us tonight?
I certainly hope not.
He suffered a massive heart attack,
very recently, in fact.
Okay, well, as I said before,
your Queens Beach property is perfect for a resort,
so I hope you will consider our offer.
Hmm, your price is fair.
I accept.
Really? Thank you.
[tuts] There is one
little tiny condition.
[Bernie gasps]
[Bernie] It's not funny.
So she asked you to marry her
as a condition of the sale?
And further, she insisted on a test drive, so to speak.
And what did you say?
I was afraid I'd suffer the same fate
as her first four husbands.
Besides, I'm happily married.
Yes, you are in Los Angeles.
Hey, there's only so far I go for a client.
The Queen.
Tahiti hasn't had a queen in over 60 years.
Lucky for you. I know the actual owner.
The actual owner?
Yes, I'm happy to make an introduction.
But first you gotta tell me, [chuckles]
what exactly is it that she wanted you to do?
I don't know,
I don't think there's a word for it in English.
That's just, that's too good.
[laidback music]
Merci copine.
[server speaking in foreign language]
Excuse me, our server,
is that a man or a woman?
Both or neither, she is a Mahu.
A Mahu is a third gender person
who could be a female or male at birth.
Okay.
I understand you are interested in
buying my property Queens Beach?
Yes, that is correct.
Perfect.
As they say in your country, let's make a deal.
Okay, let's make a deal.
[intriguing music]
Living and working in Marlon's house was truly inspiring.
[Tarita speaking in foreign language]
Marlon insisted on hearing every detail
about the Queens Beach resort,
how we would do the financing, construction,
what materials we would use,
what permits we would obtain, how we obtain them.
It never occurred to me to wonder why he was so interested.
[Marlon] Bernie, can I trust you with a secret?
Yes, of course.
Good, 'cause if you betray that trust,
I'm stringing you up the yardarms by your testicles,
you understand?
Absolutely.
Okay.
I own an island nearby.
It's sacred, private, and almost impossible to get to.
Yeah, I didn't know that, wow, really?
It's more beautiful than words can describe
and cinematography can capture.
And I wanna move there
to truly be alone and as far away
from those fuckers that were in Hollywood.
[Bernie] You wanna live on an abandoned island?
Yes, I do.
I wanna build a home there.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my life there.
An island with no potable water
or food source or electricity?
That is to say, probably,
I mean, without ever having been there
without your permission, I wouldn't know exactly-
It's called Tetiaroa,
and it is a Polynesian treasure,
but it has to remain so.
Now go back to your job at hand
and speak of this to no one,
lest I call you a madman.
No worries about that.
This Queens Beach project is all consuming.
I haven't even seen my wife and kid for months.
Oh, then you are overdue.
[sighs] Bring them here to visit for a while.
Bernie, your family is the most important project
that you will oversee.
[camera clicking]
Bernie!
Dad! [chuckles]
[gentle music]
Dad!
You guys!
Who are you guys?
[kids chattering]
[all laughing]
[all laughing continues]
[Bernie] Hey Zeke.
Ia orana.
This is my lovely wife Dana and my daughter Sabrina,
- also, lovely. - Hi.
[both laughing]
Say, Dana, did you know Zeke
is an expert on predators and sharks?
Oh, I didn't know you were a scientist,
I thought you worked at the bank.
That's why he's an expert.
Actually, I do work at the Tahitian National Bank.
Tarita, is this just for us or is Michelle coming?
She's coming.
- Hey, madam, I missed you. - Hey.
Michelle, Michelle, it's Bernard and Sabrina
- and this is Dana. - Ia orana.
Yeah, we've met.
- Hello. - Hi.
[Dana] Hello.
Yeah, we have, where?
On the plane.
Chicken Kiev?
Hello.
The stewardess, yes.
Sorry, I didn't recognize you without your uniform.
You haven't seen me without my uniform.
[bright melodic music]
[waterfall gushing]
Marlon.
Thank you for inviting us.
I love it here and Sabrina's having a blast.
Bernie's become a good friend.
He won't stop talking about the amazing Mrs. Judge
and how stunning she is and what a knockout,
a talented artist.
Wait, for a second, I thought you were talking about
my super serious, hardworking, architect husband.
- [Marlon chuckling] - No, I am.
Whoa!
[bright melodic music]
[water splashing]
♪ We are living in the now, not then ♪
♪ Let's change everything that is ♪
♪ To anything you can do ♪
[Zeke speaking French]
♪ So come and join your hand in mine ♪
Bernie, Dana!
Come in and feel the energy!
♪ See new possibilities ♪
Don't be such a prude, Bernie.
♪ Yeah ♪
- Come on, Bernie. - Come on, Bernie!
♪ It's time to turn your love on me ♪
♪ It's time to turn your body free ♪
♪ Bathe in the waters of desire ♪
♪ Set your soul and your mind on fire ♪
What are you looking for?
Toothpick fish.
Get your butt in here!
[all laughing]
[melodic upbeat music]
[melodic upbeat music continues]
♪ Set your soul and your mind on fire ♪
[All] Whoo, Mana!
♪ Set your soul and your mind on fire ♪
Wait a minute, so it's up, down, up, down,
- hand, hand, then the, okay. - Yeah.
- I'm doing it right? - Yeah.
Okay, okay, I got it, go.
[hands slapping]
Oh no, I missed it, quick, twinkle fingers,
I remember the twinkle fingers, that's good, what do you...
Well, hold on.
[gentle melodic music]
What are you doing?
[Marlon] They're hard workers,
[gentle orchestral music]
Stop.
[gentle orchestral music]
Don't eat him.
[gentle orchestral music]
[soft orchestral music]
[soft orchestral music continues]
[Old Bernie] After six months of hard work,
we were finally ready to break ground on Queen's Beach.
[Bernie] Jack.
Ah, there he is.
Oh!
Hey, hey!
You haven't gone all fruity on me now, have you?
No, no, that's a local custom here,
it's like in France, Ia Orana.
Your what?
Ia Orana, it's how we Tahitians greet each other.
French, Tahitian, who can keep track? [laughing]
You know, I was worried at first
that you might not be the right man for the job,
but you really surprised me.
Yes, well, everything here is going like clockwork.
You won't be disappointed.
Ah, good, oh!
- Ia Orana. - Oh!
Ah, Ia Orana to you.
[Bernie] Oh, you guys.
And also to you.
Ia Orana.
It's better when they say it.
- [workers chattering] - [bulldozer rumbling]
[Jack] I love the smell of diesel!
Smells like my money's working, you know, it's great.
[speaking French] Who are you?
What are you building on my land?
Your land?
We paid a fortune for this property.
Hold the work! Hold the-
- No, no, no! - [Bernie speaking French]
Wait!
[tree branches thudding]
[worker shouting in French]
[soft melodic music]
As it turns out, he actually did
have a claim to Queen's Beach.
[Old Bernie] As did 43 others.
Apparently in Tahiti, the entire extended family
needs to be involved in any land transactions.
All 44 were related some way or another.
- What was that? - I don't know.
[Agnes] So he fired you just like that?
[gentle orchestral music]
Thank you for your hospitality, Marlon.
I don't think there'll ever be a day
that I won't think about this perfect place.
Tahiti is lovely beyond compare,
and it's a shame that you never saw Tetiaroa.
Tetiaroa?
Yeah, my island paradise.
It's just, just out there.
To see it is to kiss the lips of God.
But Bernie says it would be impossible for me to build on.
I can't see Bernie saying that.
Well, not impossible, no.
Well, impossible to do it in an ecologically sound way,
respecting the heritage and the rare biodiversity.
It would be extremely difficult
to get the needed infrastructure out on that tiny atoll.
Bernie can build it.
He's innovative, he can build with minimal materials.
Though I've never been given the opportunity
to build one in a setting like this.
It would be arduous work,
it would take moxie and commitment.
For one to live out there
with even a moderate amount of modern convenience
would be a monumental undertaking.
But possible, yes?
It's possible.
It's possible, yeah.
I mean, the structures have to be architecturally sound,
but the footprint light, nimble.
The engineering, that'd be complicated.
Bernie.
Hey.
You can do this.
This is your chance to prove it to the world.
- Waste disposal. - [Dana laughing]
That would be one of my biggest challenges.
The workers would need housing.
For their families and their kids.
You'd have to build a school.
[in French] The children will definitely need a school.
[soft melodic music]
So then you'll join me on this mad and wonderful quest?
[soft melodic music]
Yes.
He absolutely will.
Yes, I will.
Damn right they will.
- Champagne. - Oh, what a surprise.
Really?
Manuia.
[All] Manuia.
[glasses clinking]
Manuia, Bernie.
Wait, so why can't you come back home with us?
Well, Daddy has to stay here and help build.
[Both] A very special house.
I know, I know, but like, when are you gonna be back?
Not long, okay, I'll try to be back every few months
to see you and your mom, okay.
Okay.
All right.
I love you.
- Love you too. - You be good.
[Sabrina] I will.
I believe in you
and I know that you're gonna figure it out.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Just try not to catch Island Fever,
I hear infidelity is an epidemic around here.
It's the furthest thing from my mind.
Yeah, it's not your mind that I'm worried about.
Oh!
And that's how we do it in America.
I bet that experience was invaluable.
- Bye, honey. - Bye, Dad.
Bye!
- [waves lapping] - [birds chirping]
[sighing] Why'd you go to the police?
The police, what are you talking about?
Why didn't you come to me first?
Are-are you okay?
You look terrible, do you have like an allergic reaction?
No, I'm fine.
It's for a movie. They want me to play a gangster.
I hate gangster pictures.
So I thought I’d play it like a bulldog, I don't know.
The Egyptians, they knew the secret.
Is this still a scene from the movie?
No, don't be foolish, this is science. What do you see?
I see elephants pulling stones
in what seems to be Ancient Egypt.
Bingo!
We're gonna bring elephants to the island
to do the heavy lifting.
Elephants?
Absolutely, many believe that the elephants
were instrumental in building the pyramids.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Pachyderm power might not be the answer,
but I'll certainly investigate the option.
Good.
Don't disappoint me.
[hand tapping]
- [mellow melodic music] - [vocalist singing in French]
Hey. Hm, looks good.
Careful.
Those are special brownies, they're mixed with hashish.
Will you be having one?
[speaks French] That sounds groovy to me.
Mm!
All right.
Can't wait.
♪ Sha la la la la ♪
[Old Bernie] Having often been the butt
of Marlon's practical jokes, I decided to get him back.
Okay, here's the plan, I want you...
No, when I cough, I want you to scream.
- You want me to scream? - Yes, yes, yes,
shriek like a banshee.
- Okay? - Okay.
Yeah.
You must have really like my brownies.
Oh yeah, they're the best.
Yeah.
[mellow melodic music]
He's crazy.
What's that tiki you got there, Bernie?
This is not a tiki,
it's a deity, an artifact.
I was told it possesses some magical powers.
I think it's Michelle's brownies that have magic powers.
[Tea and Michelle laughing]
I know the history is quite fascinating.
Hey, you guys, you wanna hear about it?
- Yes. - Sure.
100 years ago,
the prophetess, Toapere
lived nearby on the island of Mangareva.
She was stunningly beautiful, bright yellow eyes,
and she wore these wreaths that had feathers
and sharks' teeth and sweet-smelling hibiscus.
- [mellow melodic music] - [fingers drumming]
Toapere, she had a vision that her and her people
would be visited by gods on large wooden ships,
bringing peace and prosperity.
Well, the next morning, she looked out to sea and voila!
There were the ships.
So they were visited by gods?
Not gods, French missionaries.
They had visions too, visions of the natives
trading their priceless jewelry for a bottle of rum.
Must have been some top flight stuff.
I mean, speaking of which,
I make this fantastic Coca Loco punch.
- Ooh, yeah. - [fingers drumming]
It's kind of like a pina colada,
but with twice the amount of rum
and half of everything else.
- [all laughing] - [fingers drumming]
You really must try it.
Thank you, I will, yes.
Where was I?
Missionaries plundering the riches of our islands.
- [all laughing] - [fingers drumming]
Right, right, well, the High Priest of Mangareva,
he feared what the missionaries intended,
so he hatched a secret plan.
When the missionaries knelt in prayer,
his warriors charge at them with their spears.
- [fingers drumming] - So I'm guessing
this is where it ends badly for the missionaries?
Well, it would have, yes, had it not been for the women.
Toapere and the island women rushed in
and they shielded
the missionaries with their own bodies,
saving their lives.
Hey, hooray for the women!
Girl power!
[all laughing]
But by saving the missionaries' lives,
the Mangarevans gave up their freedom.
See these missionaries, they had a leader, Father Laval.
- [soft tense music] - [fingers drumming]
He ordered all the statues and temples to be destroyed
and new monasteries and a palace to be erected in his honor.
Over 5,000 workers died in just 10 years.
And when the Bishop of Papeete asked,
"What kind of government
results in 5,000 deaths of its own people?"
Laval just simply stated,
"They have all but gone more quickly to heaven."
Toapere never forgave herself
for saving the missionaries' lives,
and her bones are buried right here.
They say that their cries and wails happen every full moon.
Tonight is a full moon.
And this deity is said to be able to summon her spirit.
[soft suspenseful music]
Though, I don't know, I don't think it works.
[Bernie coughing]
[Michelle screaming]
What the hell?
What was that?
- [Bernie] Got you, Marlon. - [Michelle and Bernie laughing]
[Tarita] Why did you tell that story?
[Bernie] I made that whole thing up. [laughing]
Marlon is scared of ghosts!
- I know. - Oopsy.
[Tarita] We need to go find him.
[Zeke] All right, let's find him.
We followed Marlon as best as we could,
when suddenly, we came around a corner
and found that Marlon in his frenzy
had run over a local villager.
- No! - Wait, wait.
Oh my gosh, Marlon killed a man!
This is all my fault!
[Marlon speaking Tahitian]
[all screaming]
- No! - Oh God.
[Marlon speaking Tahitian]
[Villager] Uh!
[all screaming]
[all laughing]
All right, you got us.
- We love you, Marlon. - Come on, Marlon.
[plane engine roaring]
Many months of hard work and a few mini bottles later,
I was once again on my way back to LA.
[Passenger] Ssh!
Sorry.
[birds chirping]
We can't ship it all in. We gotta be self-sustaining.
Well, we're making great progress
on the drinking water issue,
but I need to make a map of the entire atoll
before we can go any further.
Well, if that's the case then,
I may have something that will save you some time
and me some...
Oh Christ, it'd better be there.
There, here it is.
- Is this Tetiaroa? - Mm-hmm.
Gosh. I don't know, this looks a little out of date.
I, I think we're gonna need to do our own survey.
Why is that? Tidal erosion?
Sure, there's that, and this is like 70 years old.
I mean, look, it's made in 1901.
All right. Oh, okay.
Have you figured out what to do about the mosquitoes?
Well, no. Not unless we use insecticides.
[Marlon] What about the power?
Well, for power, we're gonna have to bring in
our own diesel generators.
No, not, diesel is way too dirty.
We gotta find a, a, a natural source of energy
from the island.
Now, the French are working with solar power, right?
Yeah, solar power is a, it's a promising technology but-
- That's right. - Not for our scale.
I mean, look, we can do it in the future,
but it's not, not now.
All right, I got one for you. You ready?
Yeah.
Eels.
- Eels? - Electric eels.
Put the eels in the lagoon.
We siphon off their energy, power our generators.
Okay.
You gotta be, you'd have to be crazy
to think you can actually get power from eels.
I mean, that is just...
That is cuckoo though.
I thought you were serious.
Hold on a second. Now, here.
It's not really quite enough. Hold on.
Turn around.
Don't look at my ass.
I've seen your ass before.
[grunts] There. Now, go do your survey.
The waltz begins.
Please tell me you have a bank.
Got a bed.
We need to get the proper dimensions of this lagoon.
So we're gonna place one of these every 500 feet.
Dakur, you want to measure the whole Motu in this way?
Yes, but need to get high enough
to measure their relative positions in relation
to the scale of the whole island.
- This way. - Hey.
[ladder thuds]
Hmm. I'm not sure that's gonna be high enough.
[plane engine revving]
Okay, I think we're high enough.
You see, from this height,
I can take photos accurate enough
to create a highly detailed map.
- I don't care. Take your photos. - [camera shutter clicks repeatedly]
You're a heavy man.
[Marlon] This is where you keep all my money.
[woman] No, just the ledgers.
Seymour's out back. He's expecting you.
Oh, let's go see him.
You know, Bogart had class because he was 54.
He had no problem about saying he was a little nervous
that he couldn't, you know?
So I, I saw him at the Makambo one night.
He's sitting at the bar like this and I said,
"What's the matter?
You look grumpy."
And he said, "It's your fault."
It's my fault?
Yeah, he says,
"Those shots you gave me, the vitamin B shots.
My hair is falling out and I got no penis." [laughing]
And stop me if I told you this part before.
Yeah, Seymour, you told me that one many times.
Oh, I'm not embarrassed. Um, so where were we?
We were speaking about my portfolio as it relates
to my current liabilities.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.
Liabilities, yeah, uh-huh.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
And...
And don't rush me, um,
gotta go back to work,
or else stop with that fakakta thing in Tahiti.
The whole point of building in Tahiti is
so I don't have to work again.
Okay, well, then sell your house in Mulholland.
and take a one-bedroom apartment in Van Nuys for a while.
Yeah, well, I, I think we know
that that's not gonna happen.
No, it's not. So take the goddamn gangster movie.
What's the matter with you, Marlon? You're a movie actor.
Come on. Sheesh.
Those two bastards, they smiled at me.
I said to my wife,
"For justice, we must go to Don Corleone."
Why'd you go to the police?
Why didn't you come to me first?
What do you want of me?
Tell me anything but do what I beg you to do.
[Corleone] And what is that?
[person speaking faintly]
That I cannot do.
- [crew 1] Cut. - [crew 2] Hold the roll.
Are you hearing that buzzing noise?
[Crew] Not us.
It's coming from on set.
It's the cat.
Why didn't you come to me first?
[crew chuckling]
Should we lose the cat?
No, no. I love the cat, love the cat.
I love the cat.
Let's, let's go again.
I think he peed.
[crew chuckling]
Seems like you've gone from a popaa to a papa.
Even some of the locals are now calling you Papa Bernard.
Papa Bernard. That's a good thing, right?
Yes, exactly. Marlon's given you the keys to the till.
And there's precious few people he trusts that much.
Congratulations, and, and do spend it wisely.
We hire those special... [clears throat]
- Sorry, Marlon. - Wait a second, one sec.
I still can't hear you.
I said, have you hired those specialists yet?
Oh, yes, yes, we have.
Bernie, the decisions you make
will profoundly change my legacy,
and that of my family.
Look, your, your master plan, better be a good one.
[Bernie] I will get this project done-
- All right, go ahead. - On time and on budget.
- [person] Oh. - [crew laughing]
[Marlon] Jimmy Caan's making an ass of himself again.
[laughing] Oh shit. You seeing this?
Oh shit, he moved.
Pop my mustache. Sorry.
Goddammit.
Traveling back and forth to LA was brutal,
but I finally finished my master plan
and I needed to present it in person.
Another one.
[bright music]
Be best this week. Hi, Bernie.
Hi, Alice. Good seeing you.
- Good to see you. - Mayette.
Marlon's waiting for you.
- Okay. Is he upstairs? - He's at the courtyard.
[water sloshing]
[door clicking]
[Oscar trophy thudding]
Ow!
Is this...
An Oscar, yeah.
As a measure of artistic achievement,
I find it fairly lacking,
but it makes for a hell of a door stop though.
[Bernie] What in the world?
Why? You never saw an electric eel before?
Here.
What kind of water is this?
Well, that's distilled water, made for my own yard.
[water splashing]
I'm working on a process to bring clean,
drinkable water to the island.
Yeah, well, that is not drinkable.
Spoke to NASA, they're working on a similar process
with the astronaut.
Well, I have a better solution for potable water
utilizing the Gibbon Heisberg lens.
The Gibbon Hiven what?
The Gibbon Heisberg lens.
Wait, da, da, da. It's the Ghyben-Herzberg lens.
Ghyben-Herzberg.
You know, here take this. I got it.
The Ghyben-Herzberg lens occurs when rainwater seeps down
through the soil and gathers over a layer of sea water
at about five feet below sea level.
Yes, and you know, you'll find that dogs
will sometimes dig down and drink from one on a coral beach.
Yeah, there you go.
[screen whirring]
It's all right here in the master plan I've prepared.
I believe that it encompasses every detail
that we've ever discussed and more.
This is our Bible.
That's about as long.
I'll leave it here for you to read.
Why don't you read it to me?
Monitoring of population increases
and decreases of selected marine animal and plant species.
And there's a number of references and appendices
but that's it.
Wow. Well done, Bernie.
I want this to be a meeting place
for the world's greatest minds in, in art
and science and politics.
Well,
I think it's feasible.
It's gonna have to be more than, more than feasible.
I wanna give up, I wanna give up my profit participation
in "The Godfather" to make sure that this,
this island project succeeds.
It's not just my dream.
This is, this is a dream for, for all mankind.
This is...
The world's gonna judge us by our success.
Oh man, we gotta get this right.
We gotta...
There's no other way.
Bernie, can you make this dream a reality?
Yes. Yes, I can.
Let's dance.
[hands smacking]
What are you doing?
I thought you wanted to dance?
No, I wanna shake hands. I don't wanna dance.
Okay, I didn't wanna dance either.
You just said it.
[Marlon] I can barely stand.
Oh my God.
[Bernie] Man, I did not wanna dance anyway.
I assured Marlon that if my research went well,
he would never have to leave Tahiti again.
[group singing in foreign language]
We finally settled on a contractor
named Teari Taputuarai.
He was way outside of our budget,
but I was told he was the only guy who could get it done.
[group singing in foreign language]
Hey, popaa, the bulldozer, it's too heavy.
The raft will sink.
No, that's why we had the raft specially built.
Trust me, it can support 10 tons.
The coral reef that encircled the island
prevented any boats from landing.
So I asked my old buddies at the Army Corps of Engineers
to help me design a large raft to transfer supplies
and heavy machinery by surfing them up
and over the reef during high tide.
It was pretty ingenious
and protected the delicate ecosystem of the island.
[in French] We needed that machine.
[Teari speaking in foreign language]
Do you understand him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Teari speaking in foreign language]
[water splashing]
He say, fuck it.
[upbeat music]
[water splashing]
[crew speaking in foreign language]
[engine cranking]
[chuckles] Yes.
Yeah, Teari.
[engine revving]
[soil rustling]
[crew clapping]
You're crazy.
[Teari speaking in foreign language]
He say, I need my hat.
[Assistant] It does look good, but it doesn't match it though.
- I'm gonna go. - Okay, yeah.
[Assistant] Yeah, you look to the side, you go,
"Ha ha ha."
[Marlon grunting]
Run over there, run over there. [grunting]
While Marlon was filming his gangster movie,
we were hard at work clearing the jungle
to build the landing strip.
[soil rumbling]
Airstrip must be moved.
What? Amare?
Yes, Amare is an ancient burial ground.
I believe those were Bernie's exact words, yes.
Well, it's right in the middle of my new airstrip.
It's from hundreds of years ago when this island
was only for the royalty of Polynesia.
I gather you're here to tell me though,
how much it's gonna cost my client to move this airstrip?
I am.
It's sacred, Bernie.
So how much?
The sacred burial site must be preserved.
A lot.
We're gonna have to move the airstrip.
Oh, that's a lot.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, you gotta hear his new idea.
You know about dogsled tours in the Yukon?
Yeah.
He's thinking dolphin tours at the lagoon.
I mean, that's very Marlon, but-
[Bernie] Yes, well-
I, I'm unaware you can train dolphins in that way.
I, I don't think you can.
Well, listen, I, I wanted to meet you outside of the bank
as a, as a friend.
Just wanted to check that you were doing all right.
No, I'm not doing all right.
You're not?
No. Doing fantastic.
I mean, seriously, things couldn't be going better.
I've got 35 full-time workers.
I've got heavy machinery arriving any day.
Actually, that's exactly what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Um, I'm not sure you are aware, but the, the funds
to back these checks that you've been writing,
they've yet to be deposited into your account.
Uh, I mean, how much do I owe you now?
That's 12,502,980 CFP.
How much?
It's about 326,000 US dollars, give or take.
Oh, I was not aware it was that much.
Well, the bank and I have advanced you this money,
uh, until this issue gets all settled.
I would never want to embarrass you here.
You're like a brother to me.
[Waitress] Monsieur?
I'll get this. So, dolphin tours.
Yeah.
[singer singing foreign music]
[Marlon over radio] Fair weather, come in. Fair weather, over.
Fair weather, over.
This is fair weather, over.
[Marlon] Michelle, it's Bud, over.
Bud?
Marlon, is that you? Over.
[Marlon] Yes, it's Marlon.
I, I have a proposition for you.
A proposition?
All right, just set it on the table I guess.
You look surprised.
No, I'm...
Okay, a little bit.
I asked for a short wave radio expert but-
Well, that's me.
I'm quite handy with all that stuff.
So let's get started?
- Yeah. - Okay.
What can I do?
This is the antenna.
You can put it there for me.
Oh.
And that's our antenna.
[Marlon speaking in a foreign language]
[Michelle speaking in a foreign language]
We did it.
We did it?
We did it.
- That's great. - Yay.
You did it. You are an expert.
Radio Tetiaroa is on the air.
Oh.
SOS, SOS.
Mayday, we are in dire need of rum. Over.
[villagers singing in foreign language]
One thing I learned was that in Tahiti you work hard,
but more importantly, you party even harder.
To thank everyone for their hard work,
Marlon treated us to a big party for La Fete du Travail,
the French version of Labor Day.
One of the many Polynesian holidays.
[Bernie yawns]
[eerie music]
Michelle?
Is that you?
[eerie music continues]
[sniffs] Oh, hibiscus.
[suspenseful music]
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, old boy.
I brought you the last of my Coca Locos.
Did you see her?
Who?
Where'd she go?
Hmm. I'm not so sure you're gonna need this.
[tranquil music]
[seagulls squawking]
Here's some things for your headache.
- Oh, thanks, Tea. - You're welcome.
[Bernie] Who's that for?
How the beautiful young woman you were with last night?
What woman?
Well, she was wearing feathers.
Mm, and smells so lovely, like hibiscus.
They're called Tupapa'u, ghosts.
[relaxing music]
[Marlon] All right, so as you know,
the oceans cover 70% of the planet.
But most humans only experience a fraction of it.
Just, just what washes up on, on the shore.
Now you, you may look out here and you may see
an empty lagoon, but really it's, it's home
to thousands of microorganisms.
And, and, and there's over 200 varieties of, of plants
and not to mention countless animals,
which is, is why
I wanna build the hotel right here.
Well, we've already begun construction
at the other location.
Wait, hotel? What hotel?
How else do you think I'm gonna pay for all this?
And besides, people they can come here
and they can experience all this,
when I'm not here, of course.
No, no, no. Not here, okay?
Like, there's no trees.
I mean, yeah, a few of these,
but right on the other side, a bunch of fallen trees.
It's all, it's all exposed roots.
No, one heavy storm will destroy it all.
I completely agree. It's perfect.
- Look at this view. - The view?
No, it would not be prudent.
I refuse. Sorry.
You refuse?
You know there's no point arguing with me.
I'm gonna get my way.
No, but it would involve everything that we've worked on.
Everything we've planned,
all our systems would have to change.
All right, we'd have to move everything.
You've gotta be more nimble, man.
You gotta react to what it is, you gotta be more reactive.
You want me to be reactive?
- Yeah. - This is me reacting.
And scene.
That's great. That was really great.
So, you want to move this, [hums]
all the way over to there, right?
[Andy] More or less, and don't forget the bungalows.
Don't forget the bungalows. [chuckles]
Can you take an educated guess
as to how much this might cost my client in order-
Don't, don't, don't.
A lot.
[Andy] I'm afraid so.
[Kraft chuckles]
[relaxing music]
[workers chattering]
[Bernie] Work on the airstrip was slow and unpredictable.
Repairs and simple tools or materials
sometimes took weeks to arrive.
This made it impossible to stick to the schedule,
and expenses were rising by the day.
[workers chattering]
Though some delays seemed more predictable than others.
[in French] Where is my bulldozer?
[workers speaking in foreign language]
- [bulldozer rumbling] - ♪ And over and down again. ♪
♪ Up over and down again. ♪
You can take the farm boy out of Nebraska,
but you can't take Nebraska out of the farm boy.
[calm music]
Finally, after two years of hard work,
phase one was officially complete.
And Dana, Sabrina and I flew over
on the first ever flight to Tetiaroa.
- [woman 1] Here! - [woman 2] Are you sure?
Hey, Papa Dana!
[locals cheering]
How are you?
This is my family.
Hello!
- I can't believe we did this. - [Dana] Wow.
Still no message from Marlon?
[pilot speaking in foreign language]
[Bernie] What the hell?
[workers chattering]
[Bernie] Way too big.
This runway's too short!
Turn around!
Turn, this is way too short.
You will crash, I repeat, you will crash!
[plane engines roaring]
[passengers shouting]
[Marlon laughs]
[passenger retching]
So, how long you've been with the airline?
[workers chattering]
[plane engine buzzing]
[relaxing music]
[Marlon] And they said it couldn't be done.
It's a lot longer than, than I, than I expected.
You could almost land a 707.
707? Wait.
Oh my.
[relaxing music]
With the airstrip completed,
we brought in teams of specialists
to catalog the islands flora and fauna.
And to conduct environmental experiments in recycling,
aquatic harvesting, natural mosquito abatement,
sustainable farming, solar and wind power, and desalination.
[water splashing]
The experiments were mostly successful.
[Marlon spits and coughs]
- Mostly. - [Marlon coughs]
[relaxing music]
[Michelle] Did the birds get to you?
Yeah. Yeah, they did.
I hear it's good luck.
Yeah, well, whoever wrote that saying
probably just got shat upon.
Probably, yes.
But it's better than the snow and the rain right now
back in Paris.
Or the smog or the earthquakes in L.A.
But despite having an aviary incident every now and then,
I'm living a dream.
I'm impressed.
With what, my stunning aquatic skills
or my, my Adonis like physique. [chuckles]
By your complete transformation.
When you first arrived here, you were so uptight.
And now look at you, anything goes.
Yeah, that's me. Anything goes.
I dig it.
[Dana gasps]
Are you sure about this?
No.
[Dana grunts]
[Marlon] You cheap god damn fucking godforsaken whore!
I hope you rot in hell.
[Dana gasps]
You god damn fucking pig fucking liar.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Marlon.
What happened? Are you okay?
My wife died.
What?
Oh.
Marlon, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say.
To say? What can anyone say?
She's gone. She's gone forever. Don't you get it?
But, but how?
Marlon, Tarita was so young.
No, not Tarita.
Rosa.
Her name is Rosa.
It, she's, it's a scene I'm working on
for a, for a new film.
All of this was for a movie?
Marlon, you nearly had me in tears.
Yeah?
Good.
Rehearsal's over.
Oh, you think this is funny?
Yeah, I think that's kind of amusing.
[blow thuds]
How's that for amusing?
Impressive.
[seagulls squawking]
Where did mommy go?
She left on the boat.
Where?
Fuck you, Bernie!
[engine rumbling]
So, so she left you just like that?
Without saying a word?
[Bernie] Well, she said a couple.
You fucked up.
I what?
Please tell me you're rehearsing for another movie.
No, you idiot, this isn't a movie. You fucked up.
No, no, no.
You were the one who told me to lose my inhibitions.
You, you would've done the same thing if you were me.
You're god damn right, I would have.
But you're not me.
You're Bernard Judge.
- Come on. - And listen,
you got a stable home. you got a, you got an honest job
and you got an adoring family that wants nothing more
than to grow old with you.
Bernie, you are completely unremarkable.
- Unremarkable? - Yeah.
Believe me, there's not a day that goes by
that I wouldn't trade all of the,
everything I've accomplished,
everything I've acquired to have what you have, or had.
What happened to your lip?
I spoke out of turn, and I paid the price.
Because these things happen.
[Bernie] Well, what do I do now?
Well, I think you throw yourself into your work,
and your daughter.
That's all you got.
[papers fluttering]
What a day.
[Bernie] Obviously, I had some explaining to do
with Dana, but in the end she didn't leave me.
However, with expenses spiraling out of control,
Marlon did leave me.
He left the island to shoot "Last Tango in Paris."
All uniforms are bullshit.
[Bernie] One of his most legendary performances.
Everything outside this place is bullshit.
Okay, silence.
And action.
We had this big field, meadow.
And had a big black dog named Dutchie.
And she used to hunt rabbits in that field.
But she couldn't see them,
so she'd jump up and so she could look around quickly.
And it was very beautiful.
You have been had.
I don't wanna know anything about your past, baby.
You think I was telling you the truth?
Baby?
Maybe.
[sentimental harmonica music]
[slow jazz music]
[indistinct phone conversation]
[Bernie over phone] That said, we are way over budget.
The reports I received-
[person speaks in foreign language]
The reports I received, don't give me the impression that
you're gonna open up in 10 months of schedule.
My staff is overwhelmed.
Well, then you must hire more engineers
and more managers.
Men with the sensitivity and fortitude
and strength of character who can help you
[camera snaps]
achieve your victory.
Frankly, by solving the power issue without diesel.
Yes, but we do not have the funds.
Never confuse
the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent.
[Bernie] Wait, what does that even mean?
Remember my friend, you're a genius.
[phone clicks down]
[people indistinctly chattering]
[mimics chimpanzee pant-hooting]
Ça va? Hello.
[Bernie] How much?
Well, so far, the banks advanced you
342,279,140 French Pacific Francs.
I mean, the airstrip alone
is costing three times what you estimated.
This is costing us a small fortune.
Zeke, I just need another 100,000.
Just 100,000 to get us through the next stage.
I can't allocate the bank's funds in this way.
It's illegal.
I could get fired, or worse.
If we fail to create the sanctuary,
Marlon is gonna fire me
and I'll have risked everything for nothing.
[Zeke sighs]
I will get you that money back, you have my word.
I won't do well in prison.
We won't do well in prison.
So you must return this advance before the next audit.
[speaks in foreign language]
Yes, yes.
Oh, oui.
Oui.
How long since you've tried a new shade of eyeshadow?
There are 25 beautiful colors.
Super Rich Shadow by Revlon.
Oh, I'm good.
[swanky upbeat music]
I think I feel like a kid in a candy store
'cause we can only take about two pieces
out of all the things I want to talk to you
and ask you about.
I'm interested in so many things about you.
So you're back in town for the Academy Awards.
Were you happy with the way "The Godfather" came out?
Well...
I don't think that's really worth, worth talking about.
[audience chuckles]
Did you like the book, "The Godfather"?
[audience laughs]
[audience applauds]
Laurence Olivier in "Sleuth",
Peter O'Toole in "The Ruling Class",
Paul Winfield in "Sounder".
And the winner is Marlon Brando, "The Godfather".
No way.
Marlon has another doorstop.
What?
Nevermind.
Ladies and gentleman, and the Best Father Award
goes to Bernard Judge.
[Sabrina sighs]
Good night, mama.
Good night, sweetie.
[Announcer] Accepting the award for Marlon Brando
and the Godfather, Ms. Sacheen Littlefeather.
I'm representing Marlon Brando this evening,
as he's asked me to tell you
that he very regretfully cannot accept
this very generous award.
Is that for real?
And the reasons for this are the treatment
of American Indians today by the film industry
and recent happenings at Wounded Knee.
[crowd clamoring]
Excuse me.
So much like Marlon,
to not show up for the most important thing in his life.
What is with you two?
Well, you know, Marlon has strong beliefs
and this is his way of presenting them.
I mean, this could seriously impact our finishing funds.
Is that all you think about?
Bernie, why did you even come home?
I, I came back to see you.
I, I want you to come back to Tahiti
and finish this amazing thing with me.
For how long this time?
Forever?
Goodnight, Bernie.
Well, that didn't turn out as I hoped.
After Sacheen rejected the Academy Award,
many people believed that the FBI changed their mind
and pulled back their perimeter
at the Wounded Knee occupation
out of fear of drawing too much media attention.
Marlon may have actually saved many lives.
[footsteps pattering]
Oh boy, this is amazing work.
Really, really wonderful.
Yeah, no. It's-
Now stop me if you've heard this before,
but there's a sacred trust that is handed to me
by our clients.
As a matter of fact, you and I are very much alike.
We are only one degree away to Mr. Marlon Brando.
Oh yes, of course. I mean, we both have to fulfill our-
Okay, so, so your task is to be artistic,
but resolute and steadfast in the design
and construction of this project.
Right.
And my task is to protect the artists
from fierce adversaries who may be lurking in the periphery.
Like a virtual sword of Damocles
hanging above our heads, ready to chop our fingers off.
And I don't know about you,
but I don't want my fingers chopped off.
No, no. I, I'm actually quite fond of my fingers.
So, we're in agreement?
Yeah.
That there's no more money for you.
Sorry. Actually, I'm not sure I follow you.
There is no more money. I mean, for, for this project.
There's no more money from us to you on this project
at all, ever.
But I gotta tell you how much I enjoy
these little miniatures.
I mean, really,
you know, John Ford used to make miniatures like this
for this film, "Hurricane" at the United Artists.
Oh boy, it was so much fun.
This is no lark.
It's no fancy. I made a sacred oath to Marlon
that I would achieve the impossible.
This is not a hotel.
It's a transcendent moment in human history.
A safe haven for us
to contemplate the terrible inequities
that keep us from realizing the glorious potential
of our planet.
Each and every one of you look into your hearts.
Imagine yourself 20 or 30 years from now,
telling your children,
telling the entire world that it was you
who squandered this opportunity
to truly make a sublime difference.
[bright acoustic music]
We got it.
Woo-hoo!
[group cheering]
[Group] Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie! Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!
With the funding secured, it was all systems go.
It was hard and expensive work
implementing sustainable ecological solutions
to the many challenges that we encountered.
But we persevered and forged ahead with the construction.
The constant revisions kept blowing up our schedule
and that meant more time away from my family.
But soon our completion was finally in sight.
We had indeed achieved the impossible.
Well, of course that was until Marlon surprised me
by bringing in new investors
with a project manager named Phil.
[Marlon] Bernie. Bernie, come here, man.
Phil.
Bernie, this is, this is Phil.
This is our new project manager.
New project manager?
And this is Bernie.
This is the architect I was telling you about.
Nice to meet you Bernie.
The architect who designed and built all of this.
You know, Mr. Brando,
this place could be really successful
if we could just convince Bernie here to enlarge
and change his design.
Change my designs?
Yeah. To, to attract the caliber
and the number of guests that we need.
You know, that is a very interesting idea, Bernie.
And we've gotta get rid of these mosquitoes.
Okay, Phil, what you're saying
is that we are no longer conducting
a grand experiment in the future ecology of our planet?
This is ridiculous.
This is in direct conflict of our master plan.
You, you know, he has a point there
'cause there is a, there is a master plan.
No, I'm not interested in listening to your crap.
Okay.
You're interested only in money.
[crowd applauding]
[Announcer] The Dick Cavett show.
Tonight's guest is architect Bernard Judge?
My guest flew all the way from Tahiti
to be here tonight.
Are you wiped out from the jet trip?
Yes. I'm wiped out and pissed off.
[audience laughs]
This is a travesty.
We are so close to proving
that what we're doing on the island
could change the world.
Really?
It's necessary. It's vital.
Because I understand the problem
is that they need money immediately.
Yeah, well, you just can't get anything
done here immediately.
I mean, there's no equipment or spare parts,
there's only worker delays and storms
and holidays and more holidays.
The only thing I can guarantee you
is that people just don't listen to me
[audience laughs]
and that my marriage is falling to shit.
Are you gonna let them do this to us?
Well, I am...
Phil thinks it's a pretty good idea.
Well, I don't.
And you, you're a fraud.
[leaves rustles]
I quit.
It's easy to quit once you've been fired.
Would you like some water?
Yeah. Thank you.
I made it myself.
[Phil sputters]
Oh yeah. I'm still working on that.
Would anyone like to go see the lagoon?
Here's some toothpick fish I wanna show you.
Toothpick fish?
[gentle piano music]
[Marlon] Dear, Bernie, the winds of change blew
from Los Angeles this morning.
Phil wants to move on without you.
I tried to convince him otherwise,
but he said it was you or him.
I don't have a second position to take.
Sadly, our waltz is over.
Love, Marlon.
[gentle piano music]
[Michelle] So what's next for you?
[Bernie] I don't know. Figure out the rest of my life.
The rest of your life is waiting for you
back on Laurel Canyon.
I don't know. Dana must think I'm a complete failure.
I think she will see you for who you are now.
[gentle music]
[people speaking in foreign language]
Maybe the world isn't ready for change.
This kind of change.
That doesn't sound like the Bernie I know.
Guys, look.
[people chanting in foreign language]
No pay, no work!
Picketing the construction on Tetiaroa.
[people chanting in foreign language]
Wait till Marlon hears about this.
I think he already heard. Look.
[people chanting in foreign language]
No pay, no work!
[people chanting in foreign language]
I mean, Phil must not have paid them.
[people chanting in foreign language]
[gentle music]
[Bernie] I packed up my bags and my dreams
and left the splendid crystal blue waters of Tahiti
in hopes of restarting my life back home in Los Angeles.
Marlon went on and finished his village some years later,
but soon afterwards,
a once in a generation hurricane destroyed it all.
Just as I feared it might when Marlon moved the location.
[gentle music]
Hello.
[Marlon] I have a proposition for you.
[Bernie] Marlon's dream of awakening the world
to the dangers of climate change was eventually realized
with the help of hotel developer Dick Bailey.
Who did you say this was again?
[Bernie] The resort is called The Brando, a cutting edge,
carbon neutral eco resort dedicated
to the responsible enjoyment and exploration of the Atoll.
The proceeds help fund the nonprofit Tetiaroa Society
where students and educators from all around the world
continue Marlon's cutting edge environmental research.
Marlon continued to appear in films.
You're an errand boy
sent by grocery clerks
to collect the bill.
[Bernie] And he never gave up on his utopian vision
of saving humanity from itself.
[glass crashing]
They can be a great people, Kal-El, if they wish to be.
They only lack the light to show them the way.
[gentle music]
[Bernie] I left that island a changed man.
Never before and never since have I ever experienced
anything quite like the beauty
and the splendor of that tiny and perfect place.
- [kid laughing] - [gentle music]
[gentle music continues]
Marlon and I reconciled and remained friends until the end.
On July 1st, 2004, Alice called me to say
that Marlon had passed away.
Leaving a legacy that far surpasses what the world knows
and remembers him for.
[exhales] Wow, I love it.
Wow.
[Dana] Hello.
Well, what did you do when you got back home?
Yeah, did you get down on your knees
and beg for forgiveness?
[Dana] Something like that.
- Hi, Dana. - Hello.
He wasn't on his knees the first time.
That came much later.
Yes, I think that was on my 3rd or 4th grovel?
[laughs] More like 10th.
[lip smacking]
Sorry for the mess.
So you guys have had a long day.
[John] I bet that experience wasn't valuable.
[Bernie] [chuckles] Yes, it was.
I still dream of those moonlit nights on Tetiaroa
and if those thoughts are my companions,
they're Marlon's ghosts.
I can imagine what his face looked like
in his final moments of repose
and I know what he must have been dreaming of.
[upbeat music]
[vocalist sings in foreign language]
[singing continues]
[gentle upbeat music]
[Marc sings in foreign language]
Mark. 200.
[clapperboard clacking]
[Tinalei sings in foreign language]
[singing continues]
[Tinalei speaks in foreign language]
[Tinalei resumes singing]
♪ Ooh ♪
[Tinalei speaks in foreign language]
[gentle upbeat music]
- [birds chirping] - [gentle upbeat music]
[gentle upbeat music continues]
The virtuous spirit has no need for thanks
or conviction.
No approval.
Shit.
I'll do it again.
Develop such conviction in yourself and, uh, Kal-El,
Ralph, whatever your name is.
They could be a great people, Kal-El.
They just lack the light to show them the way
to the craft service table.
[singer 1 sings in foreign language]
[singer 2 sings in foreign language]
[singer 1 sings in foreign language]
[singer 2 sings in foreign language]
[singers sing in foreign language]
[singer 2 sings in foreign language]
[singers sing in foreign language]
[singer 2 sings in foreign language]
[singer 1 sings in foreign language]
[singer 2 sings in foreign language]
[singer scatting]