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[coyote howling]
[bottle rattles]
I tried to make you proud, Dad
I tried to make you proud, and do it right.
[coyote howling]
[crossing bell ringing]
[train horn blares]
[upbeat hip hop music]
♪ Got flava, pa's got flava
♪ Your sister and brother and your cuz got flava ♪
[muffled rapping]
[Travis whimpering]
♪ I'd rather be dead
♪ Buried in some woods somewhere
Okay, you've made your point!
Loretta Lynn here ain't right in
[Travis screaming]
[Shuggy] That ain't country, S
It's the blues. You about to hav
[Travis] My people sent me to
That's all I was saying. Let's t
♪ Your body is aching
♪ Oh, your body gets cold
[Downer] Ain't you gonna light
[Travis splutters]
- [Shuggy] Oh, heavens! That is one fine Zippo.
May I? Ooh!
[lighter clicks]
That's sort of a family heirlo
- That's an heirloom. My daddy ran moonshine in it.
But you city boys ain't changed.
Still come around here for the bad things you need,
and then try to cornhole us like a bumpkin whore
who don't know dick from deer!
It's just business.
[gentle banjo music]
[doors slam]
[engine spluttering]
[upbeat rap music]
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
[tires screech]
[car rumbles]
Crazy fucking bumpkins.
[somber music]
[car horn honking]
♪ Tell the daughter Zion
♪ That her king is meek and lowl
♪ Tell the daughter Zion
♪ That her king is meek and lowl
♪ Riding on an ass's foal
♪ Even as the prophet's told
♪ I hear the multitude
♪ Praise God
[upbeat rock music]
[lorry horn honks]
[gun fires]
[train horn honks]
[car beeping]
[train rattling]
[Bobby] So, this is Colt Lake?
[Sandy] Yes! Yes, it is.
You're not from around here, are
How'd you guess? You must be a
- Chief of police, actually. Sandy Stevens.
So, uh, you just passing through
or are you planning on staying and enjoying our lake?
You get many tourists?
Hard to believe 2,500 people
even want to call this place hom
[Sandy] Oh, hold on now.
We might not be Chattanooga, but we do all right.
So, can I help you with somethin
Sure.
After the two hour drive, I gotta take a high holy crap.
Who are you?
[tense music]
[crossing bell ringing]
[mellow western music]
[gears squeak]
[shop bell rings]
Margie. Looking good.
How you doing?
Dan the man. Another day, another dollar, right?
Deb, how are you?
[Deb] I'm good.
- Good? - [Deb] Yeah.
- Yeah. - [Deb] How are you?
- Finish those college apps yet? I'm doing great.
- [Deb] I am working on those college apps.
Happy to write you a rec.
I am okay, Officer Evans.
Okay.
[Deb] But hey, any word on the
[Sam] Officially? No word.
Unofficially, I always come through, right?
- I know you do. - [Sam] Yeah.
By the time this is all over,
it might be a story in the paper
[Deb] Wow.
- A rec from me might mean a lot, I'm just saying.
Okay.
And let's get this town workin
[Deb] Let's do it.
Gimme one of my shooter brews.
[car horn honking]
[gentle music]
Game time, hit it! Coffee!
Intense. I know that look.
Look, you got any murder updates
Stop with the partner stuff.
I pick you up because we're frie
Oh, come on.
Ever since that body turned up,
my mama had been talking that postal service exam again.
Fuck the mail. Okay?
I need to show that we can bag t
Oh, I can bag him. I can bag h
In fact, I got myself a hot lead last night.
- Sam Evans. Take it to the hole. Fill me in. I am so ready.
- Can't do it. You know, I gotta tell Chief Sandy first.
And that's how the chain of comm
Man, look at this town.
Brings me worry, you know?
I used to think that a man could make a future here,
you know?
Find a girl. A right girl.
Oh, okay. Izzy's been back a w
I know.
- Why don't you just go talk to her already?
Well, I got a dead body on my
Okay. Okay.
I got a dead body on my hands,
But I really think if I can solv
this might be the thing, you kno
You got that right.
Should we pull over and jam a little bit before we go in?
Little jam? A little jamboree?
Let's jam.
I like it.
It's outta tune, though.
- [Boone] Lemme tell you one thing about this town.
It's a damn fine town.
People in it work hard, and they love a good deal.
Hell, that's three things. Lemme give you four.
We respect all ethnic cuisine.
Hell, my late wife came from the Philippines.
Raised a daughter, my lovely Isa
- El Rey's is a premier, fast casual Mexican family eatery.
And you've got some rough spots.
[Boone] The place is down.
It's got nothing but upside. But it's got the stones.
Oh. Well, what my father means
Look, it's Izzy.
- [Izzy] We are right from your-
Oh, you see Izzy?
- I mean, we're just an hour away from the city-
Hey, Izzy!
- Hey. - Hey!
[Izzy] DJ? Sam, hey.
- [DJ] You want? - Hey.
Come here.
- Should we come up? You want-
[Izzy] Come. Oh, come on.
- Want us to come over? We'll come over there?
- Just come here. - Yeah, we'll come over there.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Yeah. There you go.
Look at you two.
I still can't believe you guys a
- Yep. Six months for me. Couple years for him.
- He's a vet. - Oh, a vet?
- Oh yeah. - Yeah, yeah.
Hey, well, you two ought to ca
You know, lot happening, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
So, thought I would've bumped into you by now.
Where have you been hiding?
- Hiding? Nah, I've just been busy with a job.
You know, I'm actually on the huge murder case.
- That's great. - [Sam] Yeah.
Look at you go.
- [Sam] I know, right? - Yeah.
[Sam] So how long are you in t
I heard you're doing real estate law in Chattanooga.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I had a little break, so decided to help my dad out.
Officer.
[Sam] Mayor Boone. Good to see
Sue Lane's been in my ear.
Said she called you
about Georgie Hill jacking off in his car Monday afternoon,
just pumping his pig.
And you didn't do a goddamn thin
Well, yeah, I did take that ca
and by the time I got there,
he had finished.
So, yeah, the situation was neutralized. So, yeah.
All right, well, I better get ba
Good to see you, Izzy.
- You too. - Mr. Mayor.
- I liked his daddy better. - Mm.
[DJ] She had a big old persona
on account living from Tuscaloos
[indistinct conversation]
Be the people. Be the people.
[Gary] How many cats? Somethin
- So, this is the set of undescended testicles
we've been waiting on.
[Sam] I'm sorry. Do I know you
- If you knew me, I wouldn't be very good at my job.
If you knew me, I might already
- Oh, shit. - [Sandy] Evans, get in here.
Take a seat, please.
[DJ] You fuck her in the bathr
I didn't fuck her in the bathr
Come on, grab a seat. How abou
You wanna start there? Let's do
This is my squad, as you can see. I'm very proud.
This is our senior officer, Gary
Resident lady killer.
Yeah. Body count is rising.
Putting that slammer in them jam
Watch it Gary. Watch it. Watch
Over here, we got Sam "The Shoot
Our town basketball hero.
Also has a drink named after him down at the coffee shop.
It's pretty good.
- It's just a normal-ass black c
It's not blended or nothing. It's not cool.
It's not iced. Got no pumps in i
- [DJ] Taste good though. - What'd you ever do?
- [Gary] Butt-fucked a pair of cousins on my rafting trip.
[DJ] Were they your first cous
- No, they weren't my cousins. They were other cousins.
[indistinct conversation]
- [Sandy] Hey, hey, guys! Hey, hey, hey. Keep it civil.
Keep it civil. Keep it civil!
- All right. - Sorry.
Sorry, chief.
[Sandy] Well, something about
I lead a bible study here,
and I don't care for that kind o
so it gets me a little fired up.
I apologize. Last but not least, DJ, our rookie.
Yes sir.
- [Sandy] Those ear studs are not uniform reg.
[Gary] I mean, god damn it,
none of this shit looks regulati
You're dressed up like Steve Irw
We're all dressed like fucking Ghostbusters
on a camping trip.
[Sandy] I take that as a compl
[Gary] No, his hat's too big.
[Sandy] Gary.
[DJ] Chief, who is this guy,
and what is that that he's packi
- This is my American Express. Never leave home without it.
[Gary] Oh, shit. Bang bang, pl
I'm Sergeant Bobby Gaines
with the Tennessee Special Narcotics Task Force.
[Sandy] Whoa. There it is.
Sergeant Bobby is state police, you guys. All right?
His task force interfaces with all the elite agencies.
We're talking FBI, DEA, Homeland Security, CIA,
- I don't know. - [Gary] TSA?
- [Sandy] Probably. Not to mention, Bobby's from Nashville.
Oh, shit. Nashville.
- [Bobby] My task force lends a helping hand
with drug-related crime beyond the scope of local resources.
Your little bird caught my boss'
Read the Nashville papers?
We're working on that as you s
[Bobby] Press could dig in,
use it against our proud Senator
who ran on keeping small towns s
[Sandy] Oof. You know what tha
Democrat in the office.
And that's not happening on our
- Hell no. - No, sir.
- Three times. - We're gonna get along,
Chief.
I brought Jesus with me to Iraq,
and he helped me slay our enemie
- Amen. - Hell yeah.
- [Sandy] Well, thank you for your service.
Service? It was my fucking ple
- Oowa! - [Gary] Shock and awe, baby.
I was in the reserves myself.
Never got the call though. Bad knees, you know?
But I was ready. I was ready.
Amen.
Well, I'm wanted in Knoxville on a major bust in three days,
so let's get cooking.
- Oh, actually- - [DJ] So cool.
- I mean, it's my case. - [Gary] Your case?
Dude, you stumbled onto the godd
while you were on duty and you b
[Sam] He got run over three ti
Boy looked like cafeteria meatlo
It's been two weeks since the
Why don't you fill me in on your investigation?
- [Sam] I'ma give you a rundown. Let's see here.
Victim's name is Travis Maker, outta Memphis.
No next of kin.
[papers rustling]
[file thuds]
Yeah. We we still have no idea what he was doing.
If I had you by my side in Bag
we'd all be speaking fucking Ara
Salaam alaykum.
Okay.
[Gary] All right.
[Sam] Well, you don't even kno
that this has to do with drugs.
Whoa. Pipe down there, Evans.
- [Bobby] Now, I'm privy to federal files and databases.
Our Vic was Dixie Mafia. New guy
If you'd let me finish, I've g
Well, now we're talking.
Okay.
- [Gary] Giddy up, baby. Let the big dogs do it.
- Hey, shotgun. I'm just fucking with you, Sarge.
I'll give you front seat.
What, are we going to Wally Wo
No fucking way am I getting into
- We're down a cruiser. You wanna loan us your rig?
Or you got a tank or something?
No, just your standard issue C
and my Cessna back home.
- Is that like one of them futuristic scooters?
- No, that's a fucking segue. Cessna's a personal aircraft.
It's no tank, but...
I ain't never been on a plane
Soars above the clouds.
Tower to smart-ass.
Tower copies.
[Bobby] Got any more questions
[Sam] You know what, Bobby?
I was at Bible study last night,
and chief selected this great passage from Matthew
about welcoming strangers.
Maybe there's a little lesson in that for us.
- [Bobby] You know what my favorite passage is?
What's that?
Right up your mama's ass, Choi
How fuckable is your lead?
Fuckable? Is that good?
I think it's good. Yeah.
It's very fuckable.
But I've been asking all around, using my connections.
Hey, here we go.
[car rumbles]
[doors slam]
- [DJ] How do you- - You gotta get it
right there.
- Deep in. - [DJ] it keeps falling out.
- You don't want to lose your gun. Good morning, Mr. Beale.
Me and the fellas need a word.
You mind if I have a seat?
My pleasure.
Sorry. My gun keeps coming out
It a whole thing. I told you-
Did they not train you for suc
You gotta be careful with that
You can't drop your gun.
[Beale] You know, every time I
I think about old Pudge?
God bless his furry soul.
- [Sam] He was a great animal. Great animal.
You could have showed that thing at Westminster.
[Beale] Yes. Yes.
[DJ] Yeah. Pudge was the shit.
But that gerbil you sold me didn't last nothing but a week,
and I'm still waiting on my refu
You people and your refunds.
You put an honest man outta busi
You people? Come again, pal?
[Beale] Who is this guy?
[Bobby] Who am I? Who the fuck
[Beale] Oh, that?
That is someone in whose presence you are unworthy to be.
That is Colt Lake Jake.
He is a local celebrity, and you will respect him.
I'm with the state police task
[Beale] He's a what?
[Sam] Mr. Beale, come sit down
- [Beale] Why? - [Sam] Just have a seat.
State police? F you.
[Sam] Mr. Beale.
- [Beale] Can't get you guys to come get a cat
out of a tree.
You bring the FBI or whatever it is in my house.
- [Sam] We're here to talk to you about the murder.
Now, Lori told me last night
that you might have seen our vic
- [Beale] Oh, I knew it! I knew it the second I saw y'all.
- [Sam] Yeah? - [Beale] The only time
that woman keeps her mouth shut
is when you don't want her to-
[Sam] Hey, sir!
She is a child of God. I'm not gonna put up with that.
Now, she told me that you were out drinking and that you-
[Beale] A man can't have a dri
I lost my job, my self respect because of Petco.
[Sam] I understand that.
[DJ] I'm pretty sure that Petc
a free replacement on any animal who don't last
nothing but a week.
- [Sam] Listen-
Get here, you little furry bit
- [Sam] We need to know where and when you saw
that young man, okay?
He lost his life on our main str
Yeah. Well, that's not my conc
Kindly leave.
- [Bobby] Mr. Beale, I will get what I need from you,
but I can't use reason, right?
'Cause aside from being a prejudiced prick,
you're too trashed to operate a ham sandwich.
- I don't even think he's that trashed by local standards.
- What are you doing? That's my granddaughter's favorite.
- I know. I saw her holding it in that weird fucking photo.
No. That's a disposal!
[indistinct shouting]
- [Bobby] I will eviscerate this fucking rodent,
and then I'm gonna get started on Colt Lake Jake,
unless you tell me what you saw
He was at the Poison Well,
and the dead boy from the paper,
and he met with Jasper Perkins,
and they left after a minute.
That's all I got. Oh, man. I got
[waste disposal rattles]
I also have fast hands.
[DJ giggles]
You don't tell anybody that I'm operating in this town.
You've got problems. You don't want trouble.
- [Sam] Hey, what the hell? I got a reputation to uphold.
He refused to answer your ques
so I added a little pressure.
To my face. I got sucker punch
Looked like a clean shot to me
- Yeah? - You gotta watch out
for those.
I thought I saw a little market up the block.
I could use a refreshment.
[upbeat drumming music]
- Fucking kill you. - Fuck you, bro.
That little register bitch tried to shortchange
an out of towner.
Oh, they're horrible in there.
I shop at Mr. Wiggle's grocery.
What's that for?
For your pussy?
No, thank you.
[Bobby] Fine little town you g
Cheats, meth heads, drunks, raci
Those last two was the same gu
People like Mr. Beale, they got real flaws.
But we can work with them, not threaten to kill their pets.
- [Bobby] You think your partner feels that way?
He's not actually my partner.
He just insisted on coming along
He's your brother in uniform.
And that man's words cut him dee
- Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you, Bobby.
It can be hard to be a Black man around these parts.
I feel seen, Bobby.
That's not what I meant.
- [Bobby] I guess I see the world through different eyes.
I'm a Freemason. Worshipful master of Hope Lodge 53.
Now, you may question my methods
We Masons, we do the hard work r
to create a brotherhood of men.
- Wow. That is exactly why I joined the force.
I always wanna be part of something like that.
I'll send you a pamphlet.
[DJ] I'll read it.
- [Sam] Well, I'm into that kind of stuff, you know?
Bridging our differences, and building a better tomorrow.
Save it, Walt Disney.
Just gimme the skinny on Jasper Perkins and the Poison Well
so I can move up in the food cha
[Gary] Calling all Dipshits.
We've got a 647 at Dunlop Park.
Georgie Hill's got his dong out
doing a little jam session.
I'm a few blocks away. I'm on
[Georgie] What? I wasn't doing
My phone was in my lap. I was te
Your phone's the shape of a ti
Got a dick-colored phone, man?
It's a Nokia! A Blackberry!
- Pervert. - [Georgie] Come on,
you do it too!
Stay in here.
[Tammy] You know, I got boys w
That deviant and his dick are
[indistinct shouting]
- [Tammy] My students wanna enjoy the park,
not watch you enjoy yourself out
Hey, Georgie, this is the seco
- It is unacceptable. - Oh, here we go.
- My mama does aerobics in this park, okay?
You gotta ease up. All right? You gotta ease up.
Your mama's got a full figure.
Stand down, stand down, stand
[indistinct shouting]
- [Bystander] Lock him up! This is crazy. Lock him up!
Yeah? I can scream too.
Okay, we can all scream, and then nothing gets done.
- Bullshit. - Hey!
Do something, then!
Tammy, don't kick his car.
[Georgie] Stop that!
- Kick it one more time. - What are you gonna do
about her busting on my car?
Threatening me, huh? It's a Buic
- What are gonna do about him jerking off in his Buick, huh?
What, twerp?
- Well, we got no evidence. We don't have any evidence.
But we know the crime, Georgie.
We know the crime, Georgie.
- So, just head outta town. There's an adult bookstore.
Find an old country road and the
[Tammy] You know what, Evans?
Just spit in your hand and finis
It'll be quicker than this.
Tammy, that's not helpful.
- [Georgie] What are you gonna do about it, huh?
You want some?
[Georgie screams]
[Bobby] Next time I'll beat yo
you'll have your first period.
Fuck outta here.
Officer Evans, you saw the suspe
make an aggressive move, right?
Yeah. Affirmative.
I'm a new cop in town, folks.
Just trying to pick up the slack around here.
I got you covered, brother. You don't worry about a thing.
[onlookers applaud]
- Hi. I'm Tammy. I teach at the local school. It's a dump.
So, we're doing a science lesson
Learning about local species.
I love to gander at local wild
Gander away.
[Sam] He got game. I'll give h
How do you teach that?
I don't like his methods.
- [Bobby] Why don't you take down my number?
Yeah. What is it?
911.
[soulful singing]
[Shuggy] Cash money.
50K deposit was delivered this m
Not enough to cover Whiskey Wayne's bar tab, but it'll do.
Boy wanted to talk business.
Guess his betters got the messag
Seeing green, but not the help.
[Shuggy] They want it to work.
They tried that Mexican crap.
Now they're ready to buy America
[Wayne] USA, USA!
But they're getting antsy.
That fresh pickup has to be in t
and you gotta be there.
- Well, tell them to come on down. Our town, our rules.
Plenty of room on Main Street for more dead city boys.
[Wayne clatters]
[Wayne] I'm in a bubble bath.
There's rubber ducky. Squeak, sq
- Let's start tightening things up around here.
Slowly taper the locals off, and hope they find Jesus,
'cause they won't find crystal.
[Shuggy] We're keeping up our
But there's still some hurt feel
over you paving the street with
- [Downer] Well, like I said, they got the message.
♪ So many things have changed
- Here. Give that to our friend as a token of my...
Well, make something up, because I don't give a pygmy fuck.
- I'm the prettiest girl in-
Shut up, Wayne.
- [Bobby] So, you got any idea of what goes on in there?
Cheap booze and titties.
So I've heard. I ain't never bee
Well, it's out of the way.
Travis is meeting Jasper here.
They could be running meth through the place.
Or not. We grab Jasper, questi
Let me do it this time.
- Nah, we pick him up, he won't talk. I know the type.
Back in my good old vice days,
used to send me undercover
into dead-end strip clubs like this to bust crack heads.
- Oh, I love to bust some fucking heads. Oh yeah.
Strip club too.
[Bobby] Well, I know what I go
And you probably gotta go saniti
the local glory holes, Evans.
Drive.
No, this is still my investiga
We run it by the chief. Do it by
We don't have the same book.
You can't even spell in my language. Buckle up, kid.
This is another Bobby Gaines bus
and you're just along for the ri
I have to pull files on Jasper and get prepped,
so take me back to that dump mot
We'll meet up around midnight. D
[engine rumbles]
[upbeat drumming music]
- [Sandy] The Poison Well, that's a real pit of serpents.
Who else is involved?
[Sam] We don't know.
But he insists on going in there
and running some half-cocked sti
[Sandy] Well, he is the expert
I mean, he knows what's what.
- Does he? I think we should get the mayor involved.
He didn't even want the sheriff eating our lunch
on this case.
[Sandy] The mayor is a civilia
and Bobby specifically said no c
- [Sam] I think that we should call his commanding officer.
Run it up the line, you know? Get synced up.
I'm telling you, this guy, he ai
[Sandy] Well, I did call his s
Mr. Ronald Pearson. Great guy. L
And he said Bobby is fully authorized statewide.
So that means he's in charge.
[Sam] Look, all Bobby cares ab
is getting another Bobby Gaines
I care about this town. It's a Sam Shooter Evans bust!
[Sam] Okay.
Listen, son, I understand.
You lost your daddy.
Yeah.
- Your hometown isn't what you grew up in, is it?
No, it's not.
In comes this big case.
Seems like it's gonna put everyt
back into order for you.
Maybe even get back what you los
Yeah.
And?
- I'm just saying you're going through a rough patch.
You'll be all right. Hey, you wa
- They're good. - [Sam] Nah.
- [Sandy] All right. That's fine with me. More for me.
Whew.
Try to relax, Shooter.
[mellow music]
[Izzy shouts]
- Guy wants to pull rank on me. No, I pull rank around here.
Evans family built this town.
I'ma protect it just like you ta
[phone beeping]
Watch this.
- [Speaker] Lieutenant Ronald Pearson's office.
Hello, this is Officer Sam Eva
[Speaker] Okay?
In Colt Lake Police Department
[Speaker] Okay?
- I'm sorry. I thought you might have heard of me.
I'm working with Bobby Gaines from your task force.
[Speaker] I cannot confirm or
the identity of anyone on the Special Task Force.
Typical.
Listen, I'm calling because I'm wanting to open up
the lines of communication here, both ways.
- [Speaker] It's highly unusual for local law enforcement
to make this request.
This is a huge breach of protoco
and you're calling on an unsecured personal cell.
Our operatives are on classified assignments,
and this is quite literally putting lives in danger.
Okay, that's fair. I hear you.
- [Speaker] I have to alert our operative of the call
- and file a- - No, you know what?
Don't. You don't need to do that
You don't need to do any of that. That's okay.
You don't need to file the 535. I know what that is.
And that's not even...
You don't even need to do that r
In fact, what I would say is just don't tell Bobby, please?
[alarm blaring]
[Speaker] Anything else?
Okay. I'm finished.
There's your man.
[train horn blares]
Bobby Gaines.
Oh, is that a shooting star?
Oh, shit!
Okay. Okay, now. Okay. Okay. Oka
- [Sam] That is the second and last time that I get punched.
[DJ] What the fuck is this?
Betrayal is what it is.
Your partner decided to go behin
He called my lieutenant.
Made me look like I lost control of my operation.
You did?
- Yes, I called. - [DJ] You called?
I called because we're the one
waiting literally in the dark fo
that we know nothing about.
Because I had to pull files on
and get clearance to share it.
Then come up with a fucking plan
- [DJ] And you did. You came up with a bad-ass disguise.
Yeah, you did. Yeah. So we're a team. We're a team.
Okay? We're a team.
- What the fuck? - [DJ] Sorry.
So, we got a fuckable lead.
- Yeah. - [DJ] Okay.
There's room enough for all of u
So hey, let's tag team it. Come
Let's run a train on that bitc
Come on.
- Maybe we could take her out to dinner first.
♪ Oh, I
♪ Don't mind waiting
♪ Even though
♪ It's making me mad
[mellow music]
♪ You might go
♪ Making me crazy
♪ If you throw
- Hey, easy rider. Say I gave you 50 bucks.
Would you wait a minute, and go tell that fat firecracker
that you overheard that skinny b
say he violated his woman?
- For 50 bucks, I'll sell the shit outta it.
For 100, I'll do it without asking any fucking questions.
Here's 150. Light the fuse.
[mellow music continues]
God damn. A lot of talent out there tonight.
Get your fucking eyes checked.
Wait a second. Are you Jasper
- Who the fuck is asking? - I am. Roy Jenkins.
I used to go to all the shows.
I watched you ride broncs and bulls at the Thompson Arena.
No fucking shit?
You know I won the fucking belt buckle that night.
I know. I was fucking there.
- [Jasper] You were there? - Yeah.
You signed my girlfriend's titties. Get outta here!
- [Jasper] No fucking way! - Yeah.
- What? I don't even fucking remember that.
I was like 14.
- Naughty boy. - Good on me. Shit.
- Yeah. - Oh, fuck.
I had to hawk off the belt buckl
These fucking assholes pushed me out the sport.
You know? It's not gymnastics.
It's the fucking rodeo, right?
[Bobby] It's fucking politics.
[Jasper] Yeah, it is politics.
- Fucking politics. - Fuck politics!
Yeah. But you know what?
You still got a number one fan r
[Jasper] Yeah. Hell yeah.
Got a bottle of beer for me an
- [Jasper] Fuck yeah. Come on, make it imported.
Big boy's paying. Come on.
Hey, Junior.
I heard you was just in the bath
flapping your little old gums about slamdogging my girl
in the dirt light out back.
Making her yelp like a Sheltie.
- [Jasper] Yeah, see, I don't actually remember
ever seeing you or your Missus ever, in my lifetime.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to this, bitch.
You listening, fuckface?
He don't remember every single ride in the saddle.
'Cause you know why? He's a fucking cowboy.
And you're a bitch. You're gonna suck his dick right now.
- [Jasper] You're damn right, I'm a fucking cowboy.
Damn fucking right, I'm a cowboy, and guess what?
Fuck a saddle. Yeah. Fuck a sadd
I rode that little puppy bare ba
[Bobby] Open your mouth.
[trucker howls]
[upbeat music]
[glasses smashing]
Come on!
Yeah, now you got it, kid!
[sirens wailing]
[Sam] Colt Lake PD!
You have the right to shut the fuck up and stay down.
That's right.
That's right. Doing time.
[Sam] Get up. Get up!
Hey, police brutality, man!
Stay still!
Oh, shit.
[Bobby groans]
Hey, you see that?
You're all getting citations!
Citation, citation, citation.
Every one of you. Every one of you's getting citations!
- Citation! Watch your-
- [Sam] Sweet dreams. It's a real cozy floor.
- You even allowed to keep people overnight
in this fucking chicken coop?
Yeah.
- No. Bucket's in the corner for your convenience.
Fuck you and your bucket.
[Jasper] Yeah, fuck you, bitch
Shit in your mouth. Fuck you.
I mean, just our fucking luck.
Yeah.
- Fucking Shitter Evans and his Black boy toy comes by.
Whoa, Shitter. Fuck you, Shitt
- [Jasper] Yeah, fuck you, Shitter! Fuck yeah.
Fuck that guy.
Thinks he's the fucking town mascot or something.
Hey, you local then?
[Jasper] Yeah. Afraid so.
I've been stuck in this pussy desert my whole life.
Ain't Florida.
- Heard that. - Yeah.
[Bobby] Yeah, I'm here for my
little weekend boys trip, you know, at his hunting cabin.
They're a bunch of wild men, tho
Not wild like you, Jasper.
No, hell no. Doubt it.
- [Bobby] Any who, they like to party. Party hardy.
- [Jasper] Yeah. - You know what I mean?
Hey, do you know we could get a little something
stronger than a brew?
Yeah. Yeah. I think I could ho
Fuck yeah.
- [Jasper] All right. See you later, player.
Don't forget the green.
Ain't a fucking prison that can hold me, huh?
Come on. Hey, I got some new business, too.
Hey, get in the truck. In the
You smell like a sewer's asshole
Hey man, I slept on a cell flo
This truck looks good enough to
I could just give it a little fuck right here.
Hey, fuck you, Colt Lake PD!
- [Bobby] This buy and bust will happen at 1100 hours
in the Mr. Wiggles parking lot.
It's gonna be me and Jasper.
And me.
I'll provide backup, and DJ will back me up.
- [DJ] Yeah, yeah. - [Sam] Quiet place.
You know, not a whole lot going
Not a whole lot going down?
There's all kind of sucking and fucking going on
- in that parking lot, dog. - You know,
this is all starting to sound pretty dangerous.
I'd like to bless this mission real quick with a prayer.
[Bobby] Not yet, chief.
I'll let you know when we need J
- [Sandy] Copy that. - You got his apostle
right here.
Bobby Gaines.
- [Sam] Jesus had more than one apostle. I'm also here too.
- [Gary] Apostle's about to bless that toilet with a dump.
- [Bobby] So, chief, I had to agree to a large buy
at a premium to get Jasper to sell the new face.
Okay, so I need 2,500.
- Dollars? - You know what it takes
to get that from the state by this afternoon?
Huh? It's a bureaucracy.
I gotta file a 737 report and ex
How about you, Evans? You wanna break open your piggy bank?
Oh, now you need me
that you don't wanna do paperwor
I don't. I actually don't have i
Yeah. Figures.
You guys spend all your funds on toy hoops and dartboards.
What is this? A police station or a Dave and Buster's?
Hey.
I'll handle it. Be ready.
[upbeat music]
[gun clicks]
Vamanos! This is a robbery!
[indistinct shouting]
Adios, puta!
Izzy.
Hey, Sam.
Where you headed?
- Oh, we got an inspector checking out El Rey's location.
Oh. Walk you over?
- Oh, what a gentleman. Guess where it's gonna be?
Where?
Connie's Cones.
Lemme stop traffic for you.
Although you could probably do that yourself
just by walking across here.
♪ I see, see, see that brightnes
♪ And I'm so, so, so reminded
♪ Of the reasons
Connie's Cones.
There's no place like Colt Lake on Friday night
after a game.
Connie would close up late,
and it was free cones all around
We were in it together.
Right. I remember. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, things change.
[distant train horn blaring]
Wow.
Hey, Sam.
I never got to say how sorry I was, you know?
When I heard about your father.
That's fine. I'm all over it.
The dick, I mean. I'm gonna figure out who drew that.
That's...
After the murder.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Mhmm. Okay.
- Had a sting last night, buy and bust later.
These are police terms.
- Wow. - Yeah.
Look at you go, huh?
- Yeah. - Oh gosh.
- You remember how folks used to play shows
next to the bridge?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Wait, you guys still do that?
We do. Well, me and DJ took ov
- Uh-huh? - We did.
- And at five o'clock tonight. - Okay. I'm in.
You're in?
I'm in. Yeah.
- Really? - Yeah. I'm in.
- She's in. I'll play you any song you want.
- Any song? - Yes. Absolutely.
- You pick it. - Oh.
[mellow country music]
[train rumbling]
[DJ] Show me. Show me.
- [Sam] She's like, "It's good to see you."
[DJ] Oh, no, no. She's no, no.
- "It's good to see you." - I see, I see.
- Yeah. And I was like- - I see.
- What does that mean? - Yeah.
You know? I'm like, "Okay. I g
- But you know what? You've been telling me this all day.
- I know. - Can we focus?
- 'Cause Jasper's late. - [Sam] All right. Okay.
Jerkoffs. Get the fuck down.
Press the seat.
Press the button.
Deal with fucking idiots! Fuck
- Jasper don't exactly strike me as the punctual type.
I want to change the set list, since Izzy's coming.
[Patient] Suck your dick, huh?
[Bobby] I'm all set.
- [Sam] Yeah. - [DJ] Yeah?
Now you want my help?
But not when you were trying to call Bobby's boss
without a word my way, partner?
[Sam] You're pissed about that
Yeah. And you didn't notice.
My family thinks I should be delivering mail.
But you didn't even want me on this case. You know who did?
Bobby Gaines trusted me with his
But you can't even trust me with the phone call.
Back up! I need back up!
[trolley rattles]
[fists thudding]
[men groaning]
[upbeat music]
I just got jumped by a methado
- Where the fuck were you? - We were waiting on Jasper.
Who the fuck are they?
- Easy. Easy. Who sent you? Is my cover blown?
Jasper!
He said you was just a bitch-ass sucker from out of town,
I swear.
[Sam] Oh, yeah. that guy.
- He said-
Fucking cash, huh? Suck on thi
Come on.
Hey! He's done. He's done. We
[Bobby] Where's your fucking w
Okay, you can go, you can tell Jasper shit, Patrick,
I will fucking claim your nuts.
Go.
Hey.
Are you with me now? Huh?
[DJ] Yeah.
- Are you finally fucking with me in this battle?
- [Sam] Yes! Yes! - [DJ] Yes!
I basically told this girl
I was gonna solve the murder tod
- [DJ] I'm with you. - Okay. Fuck the easy way.
We're gonna raid Jasper's hous
We find any guns or drugs, we get him to talk.
- Now, we don't have evidence for a warrant.
Those junkies just said he sen
They did say that.
That's probable cause out the
We got all we need.
[DJ] Come on.
Why?
Shotgun. Great choice. Can I h
No.
Prayer us up, Chief.
Yes! Ready, boys. Dig in.
[DJ] Dinner time.
- [Sandy] "Police" goes in the front. Front.
Yeah, you look great, Shooter.
- [Gary] Project Runway this shit. Careful.
[Sam] This like Bad Boys right
I'd be like Will Smith. You'd be like Martin Lawrence.
[DJ] Oh, you want it?
[Sam] Gimme the fucking gun.
[DJ] You want it?
[Sam] Fuck yeah, war paint.
[Sandy] All right. Come on, DJ
I think we ought to talk to the
You know what I mean? Bring it in. Bring it in. Huddle up.
Lord, thank you for sending us your messenger, Bobby Gaines.
- [Sam] Hell, y'all hard as hell, right there.
- [Sandy] Put those back in the holster, please.
No, I got you on that one.
I love the way it smells.
Bless this raid. Bless the Colt Lake police department.
[guns clatter]
[Sam] Shit.
Looking good. You working out?
Bless our guns and our bullets!
[Gary] Yeah.
Yeah!
That's what's up.
Lord, raise us up on eagles' w
- Eagles. - Hell yeah.
I believe we can fly.
- [Sandy] Yeah. - I believe we can touch
- the fucking sky. - Touch the fucking sky.
- [Bobby] Amen. - Amen!
Yeah!
We're coming for you, Jasper.
♪ On my Lindsay Lohan, turned up
♪ On my Lindsay Lohan, messed up
Hell yeah.
Going to a raid, going to a ra
[Sandy bellowing]
Ah, just nervous energy, Bobby
Going to a raid. Here we go.
[Sandy] You having trouble bre
No, I'm okay.
I think I put my vest on too t
- You got meth? What do you have? You got meth?
Oh, good night. Good night, you'
- [Sandy] Confession time, Bobby. This is my first raid.
Don't be a pussy out there tod
Huh?
Stop fucking around, guys. Be
[Gary] You seriously gonna get
Chief, I want you out here cov
Gary, you hang back with the chief. Boys are with me.
Guns hot.
Anyone else as hard as a fucking rock right now?
Should I be?
This is it, boys.
No idea what's on the other side of that door.
DJ, you want first through? Huh?
You hungry for some danger? You
I had some pork rinds.
I'm a little...
Maybe I back you up.
- [Sam] I got it. - [DJ] Okay.
[Sam] Keep going.
I'm going in.
- [Sam] Here we go. Here we go. What I'm talking about.
[Bobby] Oh, my fucking shoulde
[Sam] Hit it harder.
There we go.
- [Bobby] Colt Lake PD! Come out with your hands up!
Show yourself.
- [Jasper] Dude, you're a cop? Fucking pigs.
[Sam] Don't run, Jasper!
- [Bobby] We have the right to use deadly force!
[gun firing]
[Sam] DJ, sweep for guns. Get
[Bobby] You little bitch!
[cans rattle]
[Jasper] Whose fucking cat is
- [Bobby] Let's fucking go, Evans! This isn't a drill.
Jasper, I'm gonna hang you by your dick for this!
[Jasper] You'll have to catch
[guns firing]
- Gunfire, Gary, come on! Tie a knot in it!
- Was fucking- - What are you doing?
[Bobby] Stop. Stop running!
[Jasper] I can't believe you'r
- [Bobby] Fuck you! I will ride you to the fucking grave.
Stop! Stop running, shoot...
Man down! Fuck, got me in the ve
[Sam] You okay?
Oh, go get him.
Don't make me shoot you, Jaspe
- You're not gonna shoot me in the fucking back, you pansy!
- [Sam] I'll shoot you in your goddamn dumb fucking face!
Please, Daddy, don't let this guy blast me in the face.
[Jasper grunts]
[guns firing]
[upbeat rock music]
Stay down!
I got him. I got him!
Oh, fuck.
Woo!
[Bobby] We searched your home.
I found this next to your skid mark undies.
That's intent to distribute. Plus you shot at a cop.
I want my phone call and a law
and a blowjob and a fucking Corvette, bitch.
- [Bobby] All the lawyers are at lunch. Right, guys?
[Sam] I think so.
I'm not sure if that's accurat
I'll go check, though.
- [Bobby] I'm part of a task force with federal oversight,
and I can detain you forever and ever and ever.
So, tell me about the dead boy you were seen with
at the Poison Well, and all your associates.
- Oh yeah. Hey, I got three real high profile associates.
- [Bobby] Yeah? - Yeah.
It's my dick and my two balls. Shitter Evans got lucky.
You seen my fucking face?
He hit me with my legal fucking
I still ain't seen no fucking wa
I know my fucking rights. I know my goddamn rights.
I watch Cops. I've done a 12 hour marathon twice in a week.
And fuck you, honestly.
Playing dress up at the fucking bar to fool me?
Pretend like you're my fucking fan. Go fuck yourself.
I got fans. MySpace, Facebook. I'm everywhere.
Keep walking.
Where's he going?
[DJ] He's got this under contr
He's doing some Nashville shit.
- [Sam] Hey, what is that? Don't take it too far.
He said you've pistol whipped
Was that taking it too far? I know what I'm doing.
He does.
Are these are your rights?
Yeah. Yeah. Those are my right
[DJ] See? By the book.
[Bobby] We done here?
Yeah.
Whoa, hey, hey!
Do it again.
[dramatic music]
- [Bobby] Yeah, I hope you are hungry for your rights.
Because I'm going in deep, mothe
[Sam] Come on!
- [Bobby] Shove this down your fucking neck.
Do you want to test me, huh?
Okay. Okay! I'll talk. I'll ta
Boy's name was Travis. All right
I was just supposed meet him, take him to some car
with Shuggy and Dog Downer.
Shuggy.
- Dog Downer. He lives way out in the sticks.
He is a fucking animal.
- Yeah. Dog's the best cook in Tennessee. Right?
Them Memphis boys are doing a de
to start moving their stuff all
They tried to haggle and Travis was killed to make a point.
Right, "Don't with us." Now, I'm dead too. No Corvette.
- Just D-E-D, dead. - Okay. No.
Don't you worry, okay? I got you
I can give you immunity. Witness protection.
Fucking Florida. You like Florida? Is it fun?
- Yeah, I do. - [Bobby] You have fun there?
- [Jasper] Yeah. - Florida, baby.
I've always wanted to go to Mi
- Yeah, we can't afford Miami. Fort Lauderdale?
Orlando?
- No, no. You gotta gimme something I can use.
What's the location of Dog's lab
I don't know that. He's parano
I did hear that they made a depo
Pick up the first shipment in the next few days.
- It's big. - Big's good.
[Jasper] Yeah. Like 100 grand.
So, when am I going to Florida?
Oh, no, no, no.
You're gonna stay here,
and then we're gonna send you in
to find out everything you can about this pickup.
- That's the deal. - Fuck.
- [Bobby] You're mine now. - Fuck.
[ball clatters]
Tell me I done right.
Tearing that place up, hitting J
letting them trust us.
- Who the fuck are you talking to? Why'd you run off?
[Sam] I was thinking.
Were you lying to Jasper about t
Is he gonna get himself hurt, or
- [Bobby] No, but I also can't make any promises.
You were brave today.
But I need to know that you're fully on board here.
- I'll do whatever it takes to protect my town.
- [Bobby] What is it with you and this town?
It's just another broken down pl
My daddy milled these floorboa
Evans family wood in all these b
Our business goes back generatio
I was supposed to take over, but it went bust,
like everything else in this tow
Daddy turned bitter and let the cancer creep in.
He's been gone a month.
[Bobby] Sorry, Evans. Cancer g
Cancer didn't get him.
He got himself.
I know he's looking down on me,
I want him to think I'm a good m
[Bobby] There are no good men.
Only bad men. And those they ben
Don't bend.
Copy that, Sarge.
[crowd cheering]
We are the Deputies. This is a special request.
[mellow guitar music]
♪ Preacher man said it's the end
♪ And the Mississippi River, she's going dry ♪
♪ The interest is up and the stock market's down ♪
♪ And you only get mugged if you go downtown ♪
- So, is she the reason you want to make this bust?
Become the town stud again?
That's some good detective wor
Yeah. No, she's part of it. Part
- [DJ] I see you. I see you right there, Maggie.
There you go.
[Sam] Almost had her too, seni
after I sank this game-winning s
But, you know, she got away. She
Not this time. Go get yours.
All right.
[Izzy] Woo! There he is. Sam E
Who's your band called?
The Deputies.
- Well, now, I'm an officer. Deputies is just a band.
Okay.
Mayor, how'd you like the show
I know that last song's your fav
- I didn't much care for it. I prefer the original.
Oh, fuck the original, Dad.
- [Boone] So, Izzy tells me you're making progress
on the murder.
What's this going around down about a new cop?
Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Sam.
You gotta tell my dad about the
and the buy and bust, all your police stuff.
Come on.
Yeah.
I just arrested a suspect tied to the murder.
And I'm gonna use him as an insi
to bust a statewide drug operati
[Izzy] That's so good.
- Yeah. - [Izzy] That's so good.
That's actually happening?
That's not the plot of some TV program you watched?
No, not yet, it's not. No.
May I? May I?
May I?
Okay.
♪ I know I don't drink enough wa
♪ I get so wavy every day
[car horn honks]
[car rumbles]
[Tammy] Arrest me.
You wanna do some drunken and disorderly conduct?
[siren wails]
Come on, baby!
[tires screech]
[Izzy] Sam Evans, huh?
Super cop by day and country star by night.
[Sam] Hey, I'll take it.
- [Izzy] Hmm. You're sweet. You're a sweet boy.
[gentle music]
I can't. I can't.
What? What?
I can't.
- What? - You're drunk.
- I'm not drunk. - I am too. I'm drunk.
And I'm an authority figure.
- Okay. - I am.
All right, Mr. Officer.
I mean.
Give me time.
- Yeah. - Gimme time.
Just gimme time to show you that this is your home.
- Okay. Yeah. I see what's happening. I don't know.
Is it like some high level come
Yeah, that's, sorry.
You know, I'm gonna have to kiss
Just gonna have to be a little b
Okay. A little bad.
A little bit more.
I can get in trouble.
[Tammy moaning]
[Tammy] Oh, fuck me, new cop i
Uphold my titties like the law.
Read me my rights.
You have the right to remain s
No!
[Tammy wails]
Wait, is sodomy still illegal in these parts?
No.
[Tammy] Oh my gosh.
♪ Let the chickens go
[Tammy moaning]
[Tammy] Fuck me, TJ Hooker.
♪ Am I the verve
♪ Am I the law
♪ Did I fall in love with a vill
♪ Someone who'd kill to make a l
[Sam] Help! Man down! Man down
- How does a suspect get stolen from a police station
with an armed officer?
No.
Did you wanna get a drink or w
Is it safe to drink like, white wine with this?
Hey, what's up, bro?
Hey, wow.
For a man who sustained head trauma, you look great, Gary.
- Well, thanks. I feel great. You know what I'm saying?
Probably go rafting, probably get some time off.
Right, Chief? Paid vacation, little workers' comp type shit.
I doubt it, Gary.
- It's almost like you barely got hit at all.
Like you were just lying there,
Why y'all doing a stare bear a
I told you I was on guard. You know what I'm saying?
I was working, and I don't know.
Next thing I know,
some shit's hitting me over the head super hard,
and I'm unconscious.
And then fucking spaz-matazz ove
is pouring a hot drink on me, waking me up.
- You guys don't have a security camera to prove otherwise?
- [Gary] No. - I have a theory.
[Gary] Oh, word? What's your t
Take a peek.
- What the heck? - Stay back.
This man's a traitor.
No one snuck in here like some hillbilly Houdini.
- You let them in. - He's in on it.
He's in on it.
[Gary] Fucking all right, fine
It was weed. Okay? I was smoking weed, dude.
And I left the window open so I could blaze.
So, smoke wouldn't stay in here, and I don't know,
some fucking piece of shit climbed in the window,
hit me over the head.
It fucking hurt!
Oh, fuck. Fuck! Fuck you, man. Fuck all y'all, man.
- Shit. - Fuck all y'all.
[Sam] Oh, fuck.
He pissed himself. He pissed him
[DJ] I saw.
[Bobby] I told you this was wa
You say this Dog is a real anima
Let's go rattle his cage.
Hey, we're wolves now. Woo woo
- What the hell just-
- [Sam] I mean, we were 110% sure he did it.
- [Sandy] I can't go with you. - Yeah.
I gotta get over the community
You know, we got the eighth graders coming today.
- Civics Day. - Right? Civics Day.
[Sandy] Just listen, be carefu
if you're going with them, okay?
[tense music]
Peekaboo, I see you.
[engine rumbles]
[mellow country music]
Surprise, surprise.
[Downer] Had a hunch you were
Hand off your weapon.
[discordant banjo twanging]
- Hey, little Sambob Evans with his cute chipmunk cheeks.
- [Sam] My cheeks aren't that big anymore, Destiny.
I'm Sergeant Bobby Gaines
for the state Special Narcotics Task Force.
- [Downer] I don't much like the government.
- [Bobby] You gonna point that gun, or you gonna use it?
Good little doggie. Where is Jas
Did you steal my prisoner? Huh?
You? Shuggy, or this nameless psychic here?
My name's Wayne. Wayne McGover
- [Bobby] So, you wanna spill on the murder
and this hick meth ring, or?
[Shuggy] Meth ring?
Jasper's had it out for Doug Dow
ever since he stole his girl.
Like a dog.
[Wayne howls]
His big old nasty nuts.
Big old nuts.
And we knew Jasper might go arou
spinning lies about Downer.
So we came here to protect his p
Great fucking story.
- That's right. Fuck you. - Woo.
- [Downer] You came on my land without invitation,
I could kill you legally.
- [Sam] Nobody here is gonna shoot a state cop.
- And if I did, think they'd send more? This town is dead.
No one cares about a corpse.
I care about this town.
Get up. Get up.
Take out your gun.
Take out your fucking gun.
Oh, come on now.
You killed that Travis boy.
You like to bend people, don't y
He wasn't bent. He was broken.
- [Bobby] You know, I grew up in Memphis with my stepmom.
She raised me in a dump best she
Rent was always late. The landlord tried to bend her.
He often did. I sent him to hell
So when I send you there,
now you know who'll be renting y
- [Downer] Uh-uh. If I see you again, I'll kill you.
Then someone's gonna die. See
[discordant banjo twanging]
[car rumbles]
Exciting, huh?
You're fucking crazy.
Am I?
We got what we're after. I read
He wants us to know he can do an
Same way he killed that boy in Main Street.
I bet his lab's right in town.
- If you're right, we can't just tear up the town, okay?
Call a council meeting,
ask folks if they've seen anything suspicious.
We don't have to.
You and DJ are talking to those kids today.
Kids see things.
They talk to other little shits who see more things.
I got an idea.
- Well, what about Jasper? Didn't you cut him a deal?
- Shit happens. And shit has definitely happened to Jasper.
They killed him.
[car rumbles]
[Bobby] Now remember,
I'm still just a new cop to thes
My state badge will give them th
so you two have to take the lead
But you won't find out anything
unless they feel your authority.
Hm.
- Authority. - Authority.
- Hurry up. Stop. You don't need to. Stop being greedy.
You got juice at home, don't you
Oh, shit. It's Izzy and the ma
- Get your hand outta her hair. I'm sick of this.
[Sam] I'm second guessing the
Sure we won't look silly asking a bunch of kids for help?
You're second guessing yoursel
You're nervous, 'cause it's the
you've seen the honey buns
since you walked off and you didn't get laid.
How do you know I didn't get l
- 'Cause you're acting like a smitten kitten.
So I want you to panther walk ov
Assume your dominant place in th
[Tammy] I can call your daddy
Roar. There you go. Okay.
Okay. Come on.
Hey. Put a little lean on it.
He's walking like he has to ta
Hey, Sam.
Hey.
Good to see you. Oh, gosh.
I figured I'd see you here.
Yeah.
- And I was actually hoping we could find some time to talk
- Anytime. I gotta talk to these junior leaders first.
But you come to watch?
- Well, actually, my dad asked me to talk to you.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Wow. But we sure had fun last
- [Izzy] Yeah. - That was great.
- Oh God, Sam, I was really drunk last night.
You weren't that drunk.
Oh.
I was more drunk than you were
- Okay. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Just wanted to say sorry if I ca
a little too strong here.
- No. - Yeah.
'Cause I'm just going through a lot right now.
- Oh, me too. - Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I mean, so it's good to know that we have that in common.
And it's actually perfect you're here to see me in action.
You know, saving the town.
- Oh, save the town? - Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
- All right. - All right.
[Sam] Here I go. Great to see
[Sandy] Hey, eighth graders.
What do you say we take a break from puberty today, huh?
Put the zits and the unauthorized boners on a shelf,
because I'm kicking off today
with a comprehensive yet fun les
about a man who is a real life movie Cowboy.
A man who is as handsome as the day is long.
You guessed it. Chief Sandy Stev
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm ki
You know who I'm talking.
I'm talking about Ronald Reagan,
Come on!
Ladies and gentlemen, Ronald Rea
I'm kidding. He died a long time
Attention, attention. One, two
Now, as you all know, we are here to talk civics.
Being good. You know what is not
- Meth- - Methamphetamines.
Meth. Makes your teeth all fugly
Get you geeking and tweaking. He
Hey! Listen.
There is nothing that Colt Lake
- when we come together. - [DJ] Nothing!
- [Sam] I proved that. - [DJ] He did.
I led us to a league title, ri
Right here. Whew!
- We need your assistance in finding a major meth lab
tied to a recent murder.
I don't wanna freak anybody out,
but it might be right here in the heart of town.
Could be an old house, or a closed building.
Could be your house.
Could be anybody's house here.
- That's right. - Would have lots of trash
in front of it, which would have to be covered
in chemical refuse.
That would make it smell like ca
Yeah. It sounds like my aunt's
Write that down. Get that kid.
Okay.
Now I know, I know some of you might be scared,
but fear not, fret not,
because we have the tools to pro
This right here is my American E
Have you seen Training Day?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
We're gonna talk to each and every one of you alone
in a little bit for your confide
- But first, actually a word from Miss Izzy Boone
about higher education.
Because some heroes carry books,
Come on up, Izzy.
All right, all right.
You want a little candy?
Stop looking at me like that,
Fuck you. It's my candy.
My sister thinks you're weird
[DJ] Hey, fuck you.
The reason that we picked you
is 'cause I think you see things
I think you know things. You're smart. Don't he look smart?
So, why don't you tell us where the meth lab is?
I already told you. I don't kn
- Where's the meth lab? - I don't even know
what a meth lab is.
He's good.
- [Bobby] Okay, now, I want you to think of a number
between one and six months of federal juvenile hall.
Give me something.
- [Sandy] I'm gonna go see if Izzy's still here,
just real quick.
Yeah, get the fuck outta here.
You're in the jungle now, Rodn
[ball bouncing]
[gentle guitar music]
- [Izzy] Can you believe those fucking cops?
I mean, bringing up meth lab shi
What in the actual fuck?
[Tammy] Colt Lake, man.
It's just a sad, hard, dried up turd of a town.
[Izzy] It's not so bad.
[Tammy] Are you fucking kiddin
About the only guy worth fucking is that new cop.
And I already took a twirl on that baton twice.
Oh my God.
- I saw you getting cozy with Sam Evans last night.
Yeah. Well, you know? He's sti
[Tammy] Hardly.
You know, I'm just gonna tell yo
because you and I, we go way bac
But people, they indulge him.
But he's the town laughing stock
That station wagon. I mean, the whole thing's a joke.
- [Izzy] He did say today that he was gonna save the town.
- Save the town from who? Himself? Please, God damn.
Good luck with that buddy.
But you know, Tam,
I think after his father killed
I think he just went a little crazy, you know?
Just sad puppy crazy.
[Tammy] Yeah.
- [Izzy] Last night we were messing around,
and this morning I just realized, you know,
the stuff that he was saying, yo
he thinks I'm gonna stay in this town forever.
- I mean- - [Tammy] What?
- You stay here? - [Izzy] I know.
- [Tammy] Oh, no, no, no. Honestly, forget about him.
He ain't shit. You know who does have a big old dick though?
Is that new cop. Oowie, it's goo
[ball bounces]
- Okay. We're getting somewhere. You smoke a little weed.
We all do a little bit of zaza.
[Teen] Hey, Officer Evans,
did you find anything out about that meth lab?
No, I didn't. But thank you fo
- Shitter. - Fuck you.
Shitter!
- [DJ] Hey. Evans. Evans! Fuck those kids. Are you good?
[mellow Latin music]
[car rumbles]
[siren wails]
♪ Every day he stands in the sha
♪ Cast down from some old star
♪ An awfully strange gallows
[Sam] "We're a community."
No we're not. It's all bullshit.
[gun firing]
Is that why you cashed in, Daddy
I've been talking but it's been real one sided.
Maybe I did go crazy.
[bottle rattles]
I tried to make you proud, Daddy
I tried to make you proud, and do it right.
That just ain't going to do it in a place this bad.
But I ain't going to give up.
[muffled hip hop music]
[car rumbles]
Whoa. Whoa.
- Put it in park. Put it. There you go. There you go.
[siren wails]
Lights are on.
Did you throw up?
How's it going? Come with me.
What's up, Evans?
You disappear for hours and you
to come meet you here, and you're fucking drunk?
Nope.
Did you get any more information outta these little fucks?
Great idea, by the way. Asking kids for help.
That's not silly at all.
Yeah, we got a couple leads
on some possible lab locations.
Got DJ running them down.
Police work isn't all beers and high fives.
- Hey, it's a grind. Life's a grind, but we don't bend.
Right, Sarge?
You want there, Sambob?
I wanna know the location of D
and I wanna know right fucking n
You're a gentleman too. Dog do
Okay. You wanna play it like t
Found that at Jasper's.
If you don't talk, we can bust i
and find this in Grandma's baby
- That woman taught you music for 10 years.
Here you is, stinking of whiskey, making vile threats.
Thought you was a good boy.
Well, I'm not anymore. I am a
Don't you.
A boy's still a boy. Dog don't
All I hear is someone is cooking in a rusted out camper,
in old Abel's auto yard.
- Hey, you better not tell him we're coming.
Nice house.
Man, Dog's bitch is looney. Well done. Let's suit up.
Looks like we got ourselves anot
[car rumbles]
[tense music]
- What the fuck? Come on. There could be fucking snipers.
There could be.
Shit. He's right.
- Looks pretty promising. Don't do the fist bump.
I know you wanted to.
It's not a fucking fist bump moment right now.
Okay, you guys stay here. Stay alert. All right?
I'm gonna go check that the coast is clear.
All right. Man could get gunned down out here.
Yeah.
- [DJ] I don't know what happened to you today,
but whatever it is, we'll get through this,
'cause I got you.
Together, okay? Because we're pa
Partners.
Okay. Gate's wide open.
[tense music continues]
[Sam] Nice and silent.
[Bobby] Man, this is fucking c
Check it out. Chemical refuse. Smells like cat piss.
It's a full bingo card, boys. Got ourselves a meth lab.
[DJ] Oh, first through that do
- [Sam] Hey. No, no, no. I'm first. It's still my bust.
- [Bobby] Cut it out. - [Sam] Hey, no, come!
- It's my bust. - [Bobby] Cut it out.
[Sam] Let's take it down.
- [Bobby] Eyes open. - [Sam] Take it down.
Right there.
[Bobby] Hey, man, a tripwire!
[bomb blasts]
What the fuck?
[Sam] DJ? DJ? DJ, you're gonna
You can't hear me. The explosion fucked your ears.
[DJ screaming]
Fuck!
[Sam] The camper! The camper b
Yeah, I know. I was there.
It's in his stomach.
He jumped, he saved my life. Bobby, do something!
You were in the army, man!
Let me take a look at it.
[DJ babbles]
[Bobby] Fucking nasty. Oh!
- [DJ] I should have tagged in [indistinct].
I don't wanna die. I just wanna
Step on it, Evans! Fuck!
It's okay, buddy. You're okay. You're okay.
[Sam] He's not okay. He's not
I'm sorry, DJ. Can't be a good man. Can't be a bad man.
Hey.
What do you want?
Wanna laugh at me now, too?
[Izzy] What are you talking ab
Look, I know you're going through a lot right now
- and everything's just crazy- - I heard you today.
You and Tammy cutting me up.
My hometown.
I'm just a big joke.
[machine beeping]
What the fuck happened?
We trusted you, and you led us into a trap.
Hey, back off. You knew the ri
- I didn't. I've never even seen a meth lab!
I didn't know they just blew up.
- They usually don't, but I might if you keep pushing me.
[Boone] Enough!
Chief filled me in, Sarge.
I want a long talk with your sup
You got two kids with badges running around playing cowboys.
Well.
Well what?
I just had the county sheriff visit your little crime scene.
Let me show you what he found.
Two bodies, both identified.
Sheriff said they were burnouts from another town.
Hooking up a bit of crystal in that camper.
[Bobby] Fuck the sheriff.
We believe this Dog Downer guy
has a large scale drug operation
- It was a rinky dink lab, with a idiotic trip wire
homemade security system they left on while they were in it.
- Fuck you. Fuck this. You got it all wrong.
[Sandy] Sorry, Bobby.
There's still more to this.
[Boone] You did stop some bad
He did.
[Boone] I trust you, son.
It's the reason I can be hard on
Thank you, sir.
Let me give you one more thing
My father passed this on to me.
It's times like these, we got ea
Let's go, Chief.
All right.
[lighter flicking]
[light knocking]
- [Gary] Knock, knock, playboy. Look who's back.
Get ready for the Gare Bear stare. What's up, dude?
Sweet fucking lighter. You about to blaze up?
Don't leave the window open.
So yeah dude, obviously I heard
I just felt shitty, because I go
and I wasn't there when it happened and all that.
So like-
It's not your fault, Gary.
- What's up with your case? You know what I'm saying?
Did you figure out what's going on with that murder?
That meatloaf dude? Any leads?
Not really.
No doubt.
You wanna go rafting sometime?
- Fuck yeah, dude. I'm definitely down for rafting.
- Yeah? - [Gary] Hell yeah.
You bring the snacks. I'll bring the pussy.
That way we both have something
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- Oh, shit. Big T. What's up Tammy? You good?
Fuck off, Gary. I'm here to ta
Sorry, I didn't recognize you
without a dick in your mouth.
Where's Sergeant Bobby, huh?
Why, are you anchoring for his
You like that?
- I had that one coming. - Mhmm.
- So, I guess he probably told you who he ran-
Yes, yes.
I've been keeping his secret
till he decided to stand me up t
- Well, we had a tough one. He's off to Knoxville.
- Knoxville? No, none of it is real, you idiot! God!
And I knew better! I knew better
I guess I just wanted to believe him, you know?
He said he was gonna take me to Bermuda on a Cessna.
I even bought one of those big floppy hats.
What's not real?
Did you not look into him
before you let him run the place
You didn't type his name on the
Oh, God.
You really are a bunch of simple country idiots.
[dramatic music]
[tires screeching]
[Bobby] Called just in time.
Got a SWAT waiting for me in Knoxville on this bust.
What's up?
Nice shooting star.
[Bobby groans]
Oh, fuck.
Fuck's wrong with you?
Ah!
- That's a fucking police move. You don't know those.
You don't know shit. You lied to
You're not a fucking state cop.
You're a fucking security guard.
Yeah. Tammy found this when you stood her up, Slick.
She figured it all out.
Evans, relax.
[Sam] Shut up. I don't believe
I'm gonna fucking arrest you.
You don't have the authority.
[somber music]
How did that get there?
- Fell outta my pocket. Mayor Boone gave it to me.
That belongs to my fucking bro
Tammy. Fucking Tammy.
Okay, you got me.
I am a security guard.
I work at a strip mall in Nashvi
Oops.
[Sam] Oops? Oops? You fucking
You fucking mall cop. You fucking raw dogged me.
You raw dogged the shit outta me
And then some.
We weren't related, but he was m
Travis Maker.
That's why there's no next of kin on record.
We lost touch.
When he was killed, and you guys didn't do a fucking thing,
I came for justice.
- Why the fuck would you make up this whole task force?
- Lying is the only thing I know how to do. And I go big.
[Sam] Yeah, you went pretty bi
Pretty extra large. Are you fuck
I'm in such deep shit.
- [Bobby] We got the shovel to dig ourselves out.
If the mayor had Travis' Zippo,
then he was in on the murder.
You could put it to him. Finish this fucking thing.
[car rumbles]
[tense music]
- [Sam] This is your Amex. My dick is my Diners Club card.
I'm guessing you weren't Army?
Thank you for your lack of servi
I'm betting that the mason thing is probably just-
Total bullshit. I stole the ri
Yeah, they actually seem
like a bunch of circle jerk weir
Yeah.
[Bobby] Had a fake business ca
Had some Cuban chick man the pho
I'm so stupid.
[Bobby] No, come on now.
We had fun while it lasted, right? I know I did.
Okay.
How's that? There you go.
I feel your finger. I feel it.
Oh, shit.
Shit on my night.
Well, come in. You got one minut
Mayor, can I use your bathroom
I got a tummy problem.
[Boone] Hell no.
You want a drink, Sarge?
- I would love one. - Yeah?
Yeah.
He's got whiskey.
All right.
- Mayor's got some real nice whiskey. Looks expensive.
Wonder where he got the money to
[Bobby] Look at this little gu
You get a little friend?
- [Sam] Why don't you have a drink? You might need it.
Cheers.
- [Boone] I thought we had an understanding.
- [Bobby] It turns out Travis Maker never went anywhere
without this lighter.
His mother gave it to him. I've been looking for it.
But you had it.
Therefore, you are fucked.
- Coincidence. My old man just had the same lighter.
- I will burn this house down with you fucking in it!
[Izzy] What the? Sam?
Hey, Izzy.
What the fuck's going on?
- [Sam] Listen, your dad is part of a huge drug conspiracy
that goes all the way to the top
- Top of what? - [Boone] Yeah.
- You're both outta line. - [Bobby] I have no line.
- You try me. - [Izzy] Hey!
Talk. Talk, or I'll let him lo
[tense music]
I love my town. Like you.
I found out Shuggy was selling,
so I made an arrangement.
Keep the meth out of town,
and I'd hook them up with some Dixie Mafia connections
from my trucking days.
I'd get a cut and reinvest it he
- Fuck, Dad! - [Boone] I had no idea
they'd kill anyone.
Shuggy said the lighter was an apology, that it was his.
[Bobby] Give us the pickup
that they're doing with Memphis.
- You give me immunity, and I'll give you that pickup.
Done.
- [Boone] Supposed to be tonight on Dog's property.
You can still make it.
Copy that, Sarge?
Copy, Evans. You did good.
What the fuck? What the fuck?
Told you I had fast hands.
[Izzy] What kind of cop is he?
I had noble intentions.
When I found out I could get Travis' killer
and the 100K from the pickup, well, my true nature won.
I gotta be me.
Give it up, kid. Come after me and I'll kill you.
Adios, fuckers.
God, I hate that guy!
[handcuffs rattle]
[gentle banjo music]
♪ All night
[Izzy] All right.
Okay.
Whoa. Hey, whatcha doing?
- Just step back! - [Sam] No, no, no.
Stop.
[gun fires]
Shit.
What do you wanna do, Sam?
[Sam] I want to stop him!
[Izzy] All right.
Just go and maybe call a backup or something.
Shit.
Wait.
We all good. Let's drink, fell
Come on, now. Don't be shy.
Get yourself in there. Get a dri
You'll like it.
[Bobby] Evening.
Ditch all your guns very careful
Drop that fucking banjo.
Over here. Now, you got your land, your woman, a code.
But I got the one thing you care about the most, right?
- Fuck that. Kill her. We got more guns than you.
No, I got more men than you. D
[guns clicking]
I got a feeling you ain't a co
No.
I'm Travis' brother, and you Dix
you sent him here to haggle.
That's what this is all about?
That boy just didn't have the go
You wanna leave? Then crawl.
- [Dealer] Shit! God! Shit! Fucking leg, you prick!
[tense music]
[Bobby] Came here to kill you,
And I came for that money.
So hand it over and I let her li
- [Shuggy] Hey, slow down. Brother was just business.
- No. He came for revenge. And that's fair.
Nobody gets it all. Take my life, or the money.
Try and take both, and they'll k
So, are you a man or a little th
Revenge don't spend.
[briefcase clicks]
I will see you in hell, Fido.
Come on.
Faster. Faster.
- Thanks for getting them to lay down their guns.
Oh, what the fuck is this now?
- You fucking moron. You didn't think this through.
Yeah, well I didn't have that
but I can bullshit just as good
I win. Everybody down! This place is surrounded.
Nah, I think you're all alone,
with your ass clenched tight as
Fuck you and yours.
[gun fires]
Ah, pickled bitch!
Oh, that didn't work out.
[tense music]
[guns firing]
Evans. Fucking Evans.
[Wayne] I'm dying! I haven't l
[indistinct] fucked hard!
[Shuggy] Knock it off, Wayne!
And my sister.
[Downer growls]
- Keep running, Daddy. You've helped me enough.
I'll take it from here.
Get some! That's sugar sweet!
[rapid gunfire]
[Downer] You dead yet?
- You're under arrest! Get down, get down, get down!
[dramatic music]
Fuck you, Evans!
[bodies thudding]
You can't have this town. It's
And I'm not scared of you anymor
Way to fucking go, Evans.
You scared now, boy?
Come on, get up.
[fists thudding]
[Bobby groans]
[Sam] Hey, hey, hey. Hey!
- Hey, Evans. I told you what would happen.
I'm walking outta here.
You're gonna have to kill me.
Do not test me.
I've been testing you! Open yo
You're a good boy. I'm a bad man. Same as Dog.
You can't stop us.
We bend you. We break you. I sold out my own brother.
I gave up justice for this fucki
So, turn around and walk away.
[gun fires]
Good for you, Evans.
That's right.
[Bobby] Shit happens. Huh?
[Sam] You're under arrest.
[bright music]
[door squeaks]
[DJ] That Sam Evans?
Your face in the paper again.
And it looks like Bobby cut a deal. Mayor, too.
He'll be away for a while though
- [Sam] I know. I've been in the middle of it.
And? Oh wait. No, no you can't
'Cause chain of command, protocol. I get it.
I get it. I'm not a cop no more.
Speaking of chain of command,
my supervisor, she's going to kick it real soon.
- Oh yeah? - [DJ] Which means
I'm gonna be running the whole postal thing.
Me.
But you'll always be my partne
Aw, it's all good.
Hey, you want a copy for free, o
[gentle music continues]
Hey. Wanna grab a brush?
It looks like you got it cover
Gosh.
Actually had me thinking.
Today's the day. I'm gonna go se
Sure about that?
Yeah, sure as I am about this
It looks better than I remember.
- [Izzy] Yeah. We can make a go of it. Right?
- If you want to take some of those job interviews
in Knoxville.
Why don't you just convince me
I'm trying.
Well, I guess maybe you're jus
have to try a little harder.
I mean, why don't you just like, sing me a song?
Yeah. That worked before.
♪ Mirtles so bright with the eme
♪ The pale and the leader and the eyes look like blue ♪
[gentle music]
[door buzzes]
- I've been thinking about a lot. All that happened.
- I mean, you- - I know.
I know exactly what you're gonna
We did it. We fucking did it.
[Sam sighs]
[glass thuds]
[jaunty rock music]
[phone thuds]
♪ I
Evans, squad meeting.
[Sam] Copy that, Chief Sandy.
♪ I hold my babies, hold 'em tig
♪ That's when they came
♪ Tipping into my home
♪ Those two brave wolves
♪ Out on Buffalo Road
♪ Babies afraid
♪ Mama crying in the street
♪ Wasn't going to let them down
♪ They depending on me
♪ My 12 gauge shotgun
♪ It was ready to go
♪ For those two brave wolves
♪ Out on Buffalo Road
[rock music continues]
♪ Now every night when
♪ Moon gets high
♪ I think about it
♪ Watching them die
♪ They came in hot
♪ But they ended up cold
♪ Those two brave wolves
♪ Out on Buffalo Road
♪ Those two brave wolves
♪ Out on Buffalo Road
♪ Those two brave wolves
♪ Out on Buffalo Road