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[baby crying]
[eerie electronic music]
[intense electronic music]
[eerie theme music]
[Steve Strange] Welcome to act two of...
[Vampire Greg and Steve Strange] ...Blood Soaked.
[Vampire Greg] The biggest, bloodiest movie review podcast
in the history of the world, as usual I'm Vampire Greg.
[Steve Strange] And I'm Steve Strange.
And we're just gonna jump right in
with our review of the movie The Blackest Moon.
[Vampire Greg] Really? No, no, small talk?
No, "How was your weekend, Greg?"
[Steve Strange] Uh, no, if you watched this movie,
then I know how your weekend was.
[Vampire Greg] Well, let's just say that, uh,
let's just say that The Blackest Moon might be one
of the worstest movies I have ever seen.
[Steve Strange] Ooh, ouch. The worstest?
[Vampire Greg] Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
but this movie, straight up dog shit.
[Steve Strange] Okay, all right. Come on, Greg.
I think I actually prefer dog shit.
[Vampire Greg] No, you know what, Steve? You know what?
You're right. Well, I take that back. That's fair,
because I stepped in dog shit yesterday,
and I actually did prefer that.
- Bro, you know what I'm saying? - [both laughing]
[Steve Strange] All right.
Who wrote this monstrosity, anyway?
[Vampire Greg] Let me take a, lemme take a peek here.
I got, uh, um, Adam, Adam Lewis.
Adam Lewis, looks like.
[Steve Strange] Mm, Adam Lewis, okay.
Well, Mr. Lewis, if you are listening
to this podcast, I have some advice for you.
- And what is that, Steve? - [dramatic orchestral music]
- Just kill yourself. - [earbuds rustling]
Fucking piece of shit, assholes! [inhales and exhales]
- What's going on? - Nothing.
Just these fucking podcast morons. [sighs]
[exhales] Babe, why do you listen to that stuff?
You know, it's meaningless, right?
I don't know.
Maybe in the hopes that someone somewhere
will say something fucking nice.
Who cares?
I mean, they've never written a script before.
They don't even know the first thing about it.
Okay. Then why do you care?
I, I don't.
- Seems like you do. - [Adam sighing]
Let's forget it. Okay?
Look, just come sit next to me.
I'll tell you nice things. [chuckles]
Lemme just finish listening to this first, okay?
[sighs] Okay.
You're crazy.
[pages fluttering]
[Vampire Greg] Terrible.
[Steve Strange] The fact that he's writing
horror movies, I, I wish there was a horror movie
about how horrible horror movies can be.
It's just maddening. You know?
The level of unchecked, uninformed criticism
- that goes on in this world. - [mellow electronic music]
I mean, I'm just trying to contribute, you know?
Entertain people, make them think.
What I get in return?
You know, I get, I get fucking torn apart.
We're still talking about this, huh?
Yeah, well, yeah.
You only focus on the negative. Okay?
Plenty of people love what you do.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You think so? - Yeah.
Yeah, mm, no, no.
I'm not sure anyone loves anything anymore. [inhales]
You know, when I was a kid, I loved everything. Everything.
I was just so grateful that all this stuff existed.
That there were these like magical creative people out
there in the world making TV or movies or whatever, you know?
My first instinct, it wasn't just
to shit all over something.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, no, I know, I just,
you know, you're, you're not a kid anymore, okay?
And honestly, you can be pretty critical yourself.
Whoa. Okay.
- [Kate chuckling] - That's totally different
'cause my opinion comes from an informed place.
- Oh, okay, well, - [sips] Mm-hmm.
[inhales] I don't know, maybe the people
with something positive to say don't feel
the need to broadcast it.
You know, it's, it's the culture.
The negative rises to the top, gets the clicks,
- blah, blah, blah, whatever. - Yeah, I know, I know.
[inhales] Okay, well, you can't get sucked into it.
I know, but don't you think it's fucked up? What they...
You get to write for a living.
You, you get paid to make up scary stories. Paid real money.
Do you know how rare that is?
I mean, who cares if you never win an Academy Award?
I mean, just do what you do and try to be happy.
What do you mean, who cares
if I don't win an Academy Award?
You don't think I'm good enough to win an Academy Award?
Okay. [chews]
No, come on, that, mm, that's not what I meant.
You, I meant, [exhales] look, don't,
don't twist this on me, okay, please?
No, no, no, no. I think I do know what you meant.
I think you meant exactly what you said.
Adam, come on, you're just trying to fight with me.
No, no, no, no. I don't, I don't wanna fight, you know?
It's just, you know, maybe I do care
if I win an Academy Award.
Maybe it matters to me that I'm great.
- You are great. - Okay.
You are, and I love you, and I want the best for you.
And I think I've proven to you over all these years
that I am your biggest supporter, haven't I?
Yeah. Yeah, you have. You're right.
And I'm sorry.
[chopsticks clattering]
I, I'm just really stressed right now.
Baby, you can't control what people think. Okay?
So if there's no joy in it, what's the point?
Haven't you ever heard of suffering for your art?
[chuckles] Yeah, but you're not suffering.
You're successful.
And any one of those idiots would trade places
with you in a heartbeat.
- Don't you see that? [chuckles] - Yeah, I'm not sure.
- Can we go to sleep, please? - Uh, I don't know. [sighs]
Please?
- Sleep? - Mm.
I don't think I can sleep right now. Okay?
[Kate sighing]
I think I'm gonna stay up and try to write a little bit.
Okay? [inhales] Who knows?
Maybe the universe will graciously grant me
some brilliant idea and get me outta this funk.
[sighs]
Okay, well, suit yourself. You suffer,
I'll sleep.
[eerie electronic music]
[fingers tapping]
[Adam exhaling]
[fingers tapping]
[glasses clattering]
[hand tapping]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[tense electronic music]
- [screen tapping] - [glasses clattering]
- [Adam sighing] - [mellow electronic music]
[bottle scraping]
[cap pops and clatters]
- Ooh. [inhales] - [liquor trickling]
[bottle tapping]
[Adam slurps and swallows]
[Adam sighing]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
- [bottle scraping] - [Adam sighing]
- [bottle tapping] - [glass tapping]
[chair scraping]
[Adam exhaling]
[glasses clattering]
- [liquor sloshes and trickles] - [bottle tapping]
[screen clicking]
[Adam sighs and sips]
[eerie electronic music]
[Adam breathing uneasily]
[chair creaking]
Oh. [groans]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
- [curtain rustling] - [crickets chirping]
[door clicks and creaks]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[door creaks and thuds]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[Adam breathing uneasily]
[dogs barking]
[Adam inhaling and exhaling]
[tense electronic music]
[Adam breathing uneasily]
[intense electronic music]
- [crickets chirping] - [eerie electronic music]
[Adam breathing uneasily]
- [door clicks and creaks] - [Adam exhaling]
[door creaks and thuds]
- [Adam sniffing] - [Big Baby] Baby.
- [Kate] Adam, [gasps] help! - Kate. [breathes heavily]
- [Kate] Help! - Kate!
- [intense electronic music] - [Kate screaming]
- [ax whacking] - [Kate gasping]
- [Big Baby shrieking] - [Adam gasping]
[Adam breathing heavily]
- [toaster dinging] - [knife scratching]
I'm telling you, this was the most visceral dream
I've ever experienced.
I mean, even now, I'm not even totally convinced
that that thing didn't even really happen. [chews]
Well, I think I can tell you with certainty
that it didn't, I'm alive.
[chuckles] Okay, well, obviously you didn't get chopped
to bits by some giant-sized baby man.
But I'm just saying, it felt like more
than just, you know, a nightmare.
Felt like, [inhales and exhales] I don't know. I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know either.
This, this was one of those out-of-body experiences
that people talk about.
But not really 'cause I think in those,
you feel like you're, you know, watching it.
You know? I was living this. [chews]
Oh, I was definitely living it.
[gasps] Maybe it's the universe.
- What do you mean? - Last night you told me
maybe the universe would deliver you an idea.
Well, maybe this is it. See, I listen when you talk.
Yeah, no, mm, nah, nah, nah. I don't know, I don't know.
[sniffs] I mean, I'm not exactly sure what I would do
with what, like a slasher flick?
- Yeah. - Gross.
[both laughing]
I'm not interested in that.
Why? I, I, I mean, you watch them
all the time, right?
And you could elevate it. You could make it your own.
[birds chirping]
- I could definitely do that. - Mm-hmm.
- I could totally do that. - Mm-hmm.
I mean, it, it, it is a cool character,
design-wise, at least.
And, you know, I've always thought that creating
some kind of a franchise property,
I thought that that would be a good idea.
I mean, the merchandising alone, that could be big,
- but it's gotta be smart. - [hands clapping]
- You know what I mean? - Look, you're excited.
This is good. This is really good.
- Yeah, this is good. - Yeah.
- This is, this is,
- this is definitely good. - [Kate chuckling]
Okay, well, ten pages minimum.
- [Adam inhaling] - I believe in you.
- [Adam chuckling] - [chuckles] All right.
I gotta get the fuck outta here because some of us work
for a living, we don't drink all night.
Oh, don't drink all, okay, you watch, you watch, babe.
I'm gonna have the whole script done
- by the time you come back. - [door thudding]
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Fuck yeah. [chews]
- [tense electronic music] - [glasses clattering]
[clock ticking]
[Adam exhaling]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[glasses clattering]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
- [water running] - [sponge scratching]
[dishes clacking]
- [Adam exhaling] - [clothes rustling]
[eerie electronic music]
[Adam sniffing]
[blankets rustling]
[tense electronic music]
Okay, look, [chuckles] I'm not saying this thing I saw
in my dream actually cut a hole in the bedding,
I'm just saying, it's pretty fucking strange there's a hole
in the bedding exactly where he swung a fucking ax.
I mean, it's not that strange.
- It's not? - I'm sure the hole
was already there, and the dream just freaked you out enough
that you're putting the two things together.
It's a coincidence.
- Yeah. - Was there blood?
- No. - Is Kate still alive?
Yeah. Obviously she's alive.
I mean, there's a rip in your blanket.
What do you want me to say? Buy a new fucking blanket.
I'm excited you have a new idea.
It sounds kind of cool, Baby Man!
Ah, fuck off.
Bro, this like baby guy killer thing
is scary shit.
You just gotta get to work, man. Get to fucking work.
Stop hanging out with me,
I'm like the single worst influence
in productivity there is.
This is very true, very true. [inhales]
All right, uh, yeah. I guess I'm gonna hit the bathroom,
and then I should probably get going.
My goal was ten pages today,
and I'm sitting at exactly zero so far.
[chuckles] Hey, man, zero pages have been my average
- for the last year and a half. - [Adam chuckling]
- Go, get the fuck outta here. - [hands tapping]
- Go! - All right.
- [hands slapping] - I'll see ya.
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[door creaking]
[customers chattering]
[lock clicking]
Jesus Christ.
- [toilet seat tapping] - Shit. [inhales and exhales]
- [pants unzipping] - [urine trickling]
[Adam exhaling]
[Adam exhales and chuckles]
[water running]
- [eerie electronic music] - [Adam exhaling]
[water trickling]
[Adam gasps softly]
[intense electronic music]
[screams] Let go! No!
[Big Baby shrieking]
- [customers chattering] - [eerie electronic music]
- [door creaking] - [Adam sighing]
- How you doing? - Hey, uh, yeah, I'm good.
Can I get a coffee to go, please?
- Sure, all right, - Large.
- it's gonna be 4.25, man. - All right.
- [credit card tapping] - [card reader beeping]
Cool. It's gonna be at the end of the bar.
Thank you.
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[dishes clacking]
[customers chattering]
[customer 1] No, not by any, not by, are you kidding?
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
- [customer 2] Dude. - Here you go.
[customer 1] Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's kind of, okay.
[customer 1] No, but Jordan Peele?
Seriously, can we agree, total hack. Right?
Perhaps the biggest hack of the 21st century
uh, horror filmmaking period.
- You know? - [customer 2] Well, I don't know
- if I'd go that far, - [customer 1] Okay.
- but I will say this, - [Adam breathing heavily]
- Nope is not a horror-- - Hey, guys.
Ah, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't help
but overhear your conversation.
I mean, you guys, [chuckles]
you sound like real movie experts.
Well, mainly horror films, that's, ah,
that's kind of our, our wheelhouse
for the most part.
- Are you serious, horror? - Yeah.
Are you, you a fan or?
[chuckles] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am, I'm a big fan.
I mean, I probably don't know as much
as you guys do, though.
I mean, I'm no expert or anything.
Well, actually, we, we have a podcast called Blood Soaked.
We review horror films. You could learn a lot.
Um, you heard of us, or?
I don't think so, but it does sound familiar.
Really? I mean, we're streaming on,
I think we're on all platforms now, right?
And we got the YouTube channel, of course.
- Mm-hmm. - That's huge, you know.
- Are you ser, YouTube? - Yeah.
That is so cool. Okay, I'll definitely check that out.
Hey, you guys, you, you wanna know
what my favorite horror movie is?
Oh, let me guess, let me guess. Ah, Scream or--
- [Steve Strange chuckling] - No. [laughs]
No, no, no, no. It's not Scream, okay?
It's, it's kind of a, a more recent one.
You, you guys probably have never even seen it.
It's called The Blackest Moon.
- Oh, no, no. [chuckles] - No.
- You did not just say that. - No, what?
- Oh my God. - What?
Ah, it's just, um, it's honestly just a piece of shit.
Like we, so, okay, so we, we actually did a review
- of that in the most recent... - Uh-huh.
- ...episode of the podcast. - Okay.
Yeah, it's dog shit, but look, hey,
but if you like it, dude, that's cool.
But this is the thing though. This is what's up.
I didn't just like it, no, I actually wrote it.
What do, you, you wrote it?
Yeah, I'm the guy you said should go kill himself
if he ever considered writing another script.
Listen, it, it's all in good fun, man,
but, um, if you can't handle a joke,
then maybe you shouldn't be doing what you do.
Oh, or maybe you didn't actually,
you know, understand the movie?
Huh? You ever think about that?
Maybe if you had paid closer attention to the story,
you could have appreciated some of the, you know,
some of the subtext, some of the deeper concepts.
Yeah, um, I don't know about all that, man,
but, um, it was just fucking boring.
[scoffs] Wow, okay. All right, cool.
Well, you, you know, you're probably right.
It, it, uh, sorry, I'm just probably being
too sensitive about the whole thing.
You were probably right about the script.
- It's, it's not that good. - Yeah, man.
- It just wasn't, but, um, - [eerie electronic music]
yeah, no, um, no hard feelings.
Yeah, for sure. Okay, cool.
Well, I gotta get going. It was really nice meeting you.
Okay, see ya.
[Adam slurping]
[Adam] Oh, one more thing.
- [coffee splashing] - Fuck you.
- [cup tapping] - [both] What the fuck?
- Fuck you too. - Hey, what the?
Hey, grab that guy!
[Kate] So anything exciting happen today?
- [lips smacking] - Ah, nah, not really.
- [food clattering] - You?
- [eerie electronic music] - [blankets rustling]
Uh, hey, babe, where'd this blanket come from?
- [chews and inhales] - Oh, yeah, that.
Ah, I bought that today, kind of on a whim.
You know, thought it might be nice
to spruce up the place.
It's bright. [chuckles]
Oh, she doesn't like it. [chews]
- Sorry. - [blanket rustling]
Okay. So what else?
How'd writing go?
- Good, good, yeah. - [hands rubbing]
You know, I didn't get much done, but I got a title.
A title? That's it?
Hey, come on. You know, it's a process.
Okay, well, what's the title?
Big Baby.
- Really? - Yeah, what?
Nothing, I just didn't realize
you were writing an autobiography.
[chuckles] You are hilarious.
I know. I am very funny and cute.
- You're very lucky. - Yes.
- This is all true.
Wanna get drunk?
Yes. [chews]
[wine trickling]
- You drank a lot. [chuckles] - Thank you.
- There you go. - [bottle tapping]
- [Kate inhales and exhales] - [soft pop music]
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - [Kate sipping]
Do you ever like just think about
like how incredibly bizarre everything is?
- What do you mean? - Ah.
Uh, I mean, okay, so like, like human beings.
Like do you, do you ever think about
how fucking weird we are?
I think about how weird you are all the time.
Yeah, back at ya. But no, I'm serious.
Like, like the lengths
we go to just like amuse ourselves.
Like have you ever thought about the enormous monetary,
technical, engineering prowess
that goes into building a roller coaster?
- Did you just say prowess? - It's a word.
Yeah, I know it's a word.
I just never heard you use it before.
[both laughing]
Uh, [sighs] okay, I'm serious.
Like all of that effort. Right?
Just so we can go, ah, for like two minutes.
Not a fan of roller coasters
Or like, okay, movies, right?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, so, so think about
- what you do, right? - Okay.
So you're making up these people
or monsters or whatever.
And then adults pay other adults like a fuck load of money
to pretend to be these pretend people.
And then other people film it, and then other people come
and they wanna watch it, and it's really fucking weird.
- [Kate laughing] - Why is that weird?
Uh, uh, I don't know.
I mean, eh, eh, other animals
don't do shit like that, right?
Yeah, no, I, I don't think cats have developed
the technology to build roller coasters yet.
- M-maybe one... - [laughs] No.
- Okay, monkeys right? - Uh-huh.
Do, do, do they put on little monkey plays
and tell monkey jokes to the other monkeys?
I don't know. Ah, maybe, yeah, probably.
- They probably do. - Oh, okay.
- [Adam exhaling] - Yeah?
Okay, look, you're serious about this. Okay.
Um, I can't speak for monkeys,
but I think that we inherently as human beings,
we have this need to tell and to hear stories.
And I mean, it's not a modern thing.
It's been going on since the, the cave days.
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - I know, but why?
[both chuckling]
- I don't know. - [Kate inhales and exhales]
Maybe it keeps us from disappearing. You know?
Maybe we have this like energy of thought that just needs
to be released and received by others. [inhales]
And if it stays locked away and has nowhere to go,
then maybe bad things can happen.
Or maybe nothing at all can happen. I don't know.
Or maybe we actually have the power to control reality
through our creative thoughts. [inhales and exhales]
- What? - I don't know, Jesus Christ.
I'm doing the fucking best I can.
- [Kate laughing] - I'm fucking drunk, girl.
[Adam laughing]
[gasps] Oh my God.
What?
I have a really good monkey joke.
Oh, okay.
- You ready? - I don't know.
[Kate laughing]
How did the monkey get down the stairs so fast?
I don't know. How did the monkey get downstairs so fast?
[chuckles] He slid down the bananaster.
[both laughing]
That is so stupid.
[both laughing]
- That's good. - Oh, yeah.
- That's a good one. - I know.
It was good. You'd kill it in the jungle.
Thank you.
[both laugh and kiss]
- I'm really funny. - Yeah.
[both laughing]
You can't say you're funny. Okay?
Someone else has to say you're funny, you can't--
- But I am funny. - Okay, sure, you're funny, babe.
- [tense electronic music] - [crickets chirping]
[crows cawing]
- [water dripping] - [Adam exhaling]
- [hand rubbing] - [Adam breathes uneasily]
- [Little Big Baby exhaling] - [Adam whimpering]
I didn't wanna swim. [echoes]
I was afraid. I told them I was afraid.
They surrounded me and taunted me.
- They laughed and screamed... - [children laughing]
..."Baby, baby, you are a big baby."
Over and over, I cried,
but they wouldn't stop until finally someone pushed me.
- [Adam breathes heavily] - Pushed me into the pool.
I sunk to the bottom. As I tried to scream,
water filled my mouth and my lungs.
Everything went dark and cold. [echoes]
By the time they pulled me out, my brain was half gone.
I'd never be the same.
But I grew strong,
strong enough to hurt.
Strong enough to kill. [echoes]
[Adam breathes uneasily]
- Kill them all. - [intense electronic music]
- [Adam gasping] - [Big Baby screaming]
[Adam gasping]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Adam exhaling]
[blankets rustling]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[soft dramatic music]
[Adam groaning]
[floor creaking]
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - [Kate exhales]
- This is cool. - Yeah?
Yeah, I like it. I really do.
- Okay. [exhales] - [Kate chuckling]
I mean, you know, it's barely a rough first act.
And, ah, there's a lot of stuff to tighten up.
[inhales] Some of the stuff with the flashback,
I don't know, it, it might be a bit--
No, no, babe. It, it's good,
- But? - Nothing.
What?
No, nothing, I just, okay,
okay, I was just, I was just wondering, you know,
is getting pushed in a pool enough
to make someone become a killer?
He doesn't just get pushed in a pool.
- [Kate sighing] - Is that all
you got out of that?
He gets relentlessly tormented.
And as a result of almost drowning,
he has brain damage.
I think that's plenty of trauma to send someone over the edge.
Didn't you absorb any of that information?
Uh, okay, I'm sorry.
I won't, I won't offer an opinion next time.
It's not about an opinion,
it's about understanding the story.
Well, I guess I'm not smart enough
- to understand the story. - That is not,
that is not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, okay, okay, okay.
I'm trying to create conflict for the audience. Right?
Like at what point is revenge justified?
I mean, can we root for a murderer?
Is that okay under any circumst...
[inhales] You know what?
Just, [exhales] just, just forget it.
Just forget the whole thing. Just...[inhales and exhales]
What is going on with you?
Okay, you're freaking the fuck out.
What? Nothing, okay?
I didn't get much sleep 'cause I was up all night
writing this apparent piece of shit.
I never said it was a piece of shit.
Yeah, well, didn't say it wasn't.
[inhales] Okay. Can, can we do something else?
Yeah, like what? [exhales]
I don't know. Not argue.
Okay. Okay.
- Sure, fine. - [Kate inhaling]
It, it's a good note. I'll take it into consideration.
[exhales] All right, I should probably keep going,
you know, get a few more pages in.
- Yeah, I think you should. - [Adam sighing]
- Hey, you gotta relax. - [Adam inhales and exhales]
Yeah. You know, if I can maybe just be alone.
- [Kate sighing] - Look, it's just hard
to concentrate, okay.
Well, you're no fun.
It's fine. I got shit to do anyway.
Oh, um, in regards to your question
is revenge ever justified?
Um, it was the great Muhammad Ali who said,
"You kill my dog, you better hide your cat."
Wait, what? [chuckles] What is happening right now?
You're quoting Muhammad Ali.
- What? - Uh, [exhales] Okay.
What's your point?
Well, I'm just saying sure, revenge can be justified, but,
but does the retribution match the original crime?
I mean, he didn't say, "You kill my dog,
you better hide your grandmother." [chuckles]
Well, well, you've never met my grandmother.
But, okay, sorry, ah.
But, but who gets to decide what level
of retribution is appropriate then?
Um, [inhales]
well, I guess in this case, you do. Right?
I mean, it's your story. [chuckles]
I'll see you tonight.
[door creaks and thuds]
[Adam] Interior, novelty shop, night.
He walks the aisles uninterested
in the various props, books and toys on display.
His hulking stature and dead-eye gaze
make the other customers avoid his path.
Eventually, he makes his way
to a wall of rubber Halloween masks,
until finally finding focus
on a contorted crying baby face.
He stares as echoes of
"Baby, baby, you're a big baby,"
- ring out in his head. - [children laughing]
The chant repeats and rises in volume only to be broken
by the clerk from behind the counter.
Can I get you something?
[Adam] Without breaking focus from the mask,
he slowly lifts his arm and points.
[deep voice] That one.
[Big Baby exhaling]
[keyboard clattering]
[Adam exhaling]
[glasses clattering]
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - [mellow electronic music]
[screen clicks]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[floor creaking]
[Adam sighing]
[Adam inhales and exhales]
Mm.
[Adam inhales and exhales]
Mm. [inhales and exhales]
[eerie electronic music]
[Adam inhaling and exhaling]
[knocking]
[tense electronic music]
[door clicks and creaks]
- [Kate screaming] - [Adam gasping]
Shit! Don't, ah, oh!
- [Kate exhaling] - Holy shit. [breathes heavily]
- [mask creaking] - [Kate laughing]
Oh, my God, baby. Are you okay?
- I'm so sorry. - What the fuck, Kate?
Jesus Christ. You scared the shit outta me.
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - I'm sorry.
- Sorry. - No, don't touch.
- Oh, no, no, no. - [Kate chuckling]
[inhales and exhales] Oh, my God.
What the fuck, what is that?
- A baby mask. - [Adam breathing heavily]
I was getting coffee with Patrice and Magnolia,
and I saw that, you know, that costume shop and, um,
and I saw this and it made me think about you.
I thought you could use it for some inspiration.
[breathes heavily] Fuck. Jesus Christ.
[exhales] Are you okay? [chuckles]
[exhales] I'm not okay. Okay?
You know, I got a lot of stuff going on in my head
- and I wasn't expecting that. - Um, yeah.
That's the point of scaring you.
- Yeah, I got it, I got it. - [Kate chuckling]
You got me. You got me good.
[breathes heavily]
- What? - Uh, nothing.
It's, it's just, it is just so strange
'cause I was, uh, I actually wrote a scene today
where Big Baby buys his mask at a costume shop,
and then here you are buying a mask
at a costume shop the same day.
And my brain just kind of, you know.
- [Adam mimics whooshing sound] - [tense electronic music]
[inhales and exhales] What?
Just, what, what are you doing?
You figured it out, didn't you?
I'm Big Baby.
[Adam breathing uneasily]
- Oh, for fuck sake. - [Kate laughing]
Would you, can you stop?
- Mm-mm. [chuckles] - [Adam sighing]
- Let me see this thing. - [mask rustling]
Kind of looks like you.
I think you're right. It's a spitting image.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know.
- That looks like me. - Almost exactly.
Yeah, thanks, you.
- Come here Big Baby, mm. - Yeah.
[eerie electronic music]
We don't have any beer, do we?
I don't know, babe. You're the one looking.
Yeah. It looks like we don't.
Well, if we're gonna have empanadas,
we need beer, right?
- That is the law. - That is the law.
Okay. All right, I'll run to the store and grab some.
- You need anything else? - Um, no, I'm good, thanks.
[door thudding]
- [mellow electronic music] - [sensor beeping]
- How we doing? - How you doing?
[inhales] Good, good, good, good.
- [door clicking] - [sensor beeping]
- [door thudding] - [footsteps tapping]
[door clicking]
[tense electronic music]
[door thudding]
[footsteps tapping]
[door thudding]
[mellow electronic music]
- [cashier] What can I get you? - Pack of reds.
Pull a pack of reds.
- [clippers clattering] - [cashier inhales and exhales]
[cash register beeping]
[pack rustling]
You know, ah, those things would kill you.
- Thanks, Dad. - [cash rustling]
- [footsteps tapping] - So weird.
- I... - [sensor beeping]
[cashier] You're supposed to be working on this.
[crickets chirping]
- [lighter clicking] - [plane whirring]
[cigarette sizzling]
[woman inhales and exhales]
[mellow electronic music]
[sensor beeping]
[plane whirring]
[tense electronic music]
- [footsteps tapping] - [siren wailing]
[traffic whirring]
[crickets chirping]
[woman inhales and exhales]
[tense electronic music]
[dog barking]
[woman inhales and exhales]
[footsteps tapping]
[woman inhales and exhales]
[boot scraping]
[footsteps tapping]
[glass shattering]
[footsteps tapping]
- [glass shattering] - [woman gasping]
[tense electronic music continues]
- [woman screaming] - [ax whacking]
- [blood spurting] - [woman groaning]
[ax whacking]
- [blood spraying] - [woman gasping]
[organs squishing]
[Adam whimpering]
[intense electronic music]
- [Adam gasping] - [Big Baby crying]
[door creaking]
[Adam breathing uneasily]
[door creaks and thuds]
Hey, what, what took you so long? I was worried.
[Adam breathing heavily]
[eerie electronic music]
What's wrong?
[Adam whimpering]
Uh, where's the beer?
[Adam breathing heavily]
Adam.
- [Adam whimpering] - Adam, what the fuck?
He's real.
- Who? - He's real. [whimpers]
[Kate] Who's real?
Big Baby. [breathes heavily]
[Kate sighs] Uh, Adam, what are you talking about?
I saw him. [whimpers] I saw him.
- Adam. - [Adam breathes heavily]
I saw him, I saw him,
I saw him kill a girl. [whimpers]
Okay, babe, babe, take a deep breath. Okay?
- And just, just-- - Kate, I saw Big Baby
brutally kill a girl tonight. [gasps]
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I, I get it.
This is, this is payback for the mask, right?
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not joking, I'm not joking.
[breathes heavily] I was at the, the convenience store
and I saw this girl, a young girl.
She was buying cigarettes and something told me,
I don't know what, but something,
[inhales and exhales]
something told me to follow her. [breathes heavily]
Uh, s-so you're, you're following
- young girls at night now? - Kate, would you
just listen to me? [whimpers]
I followed her.
She went down an alley, but I stopped.
I didn't follow her down the alley.
I stopped and I watched and I watched,
and out from the shadows Big Baby, he appeared
and he hit her with an ax. [whimpers]
She fell, and then he, he chopped her,
and he chopped her into bits. [cries]
It, it was, it was, it was, it was fucking horrible.
[Adam gasping]
[Kate] I don't, I don't know what's happening right...
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Kate sniffing]
I know you think I'm crazy, but I'm not.
[sighs and sniffs] How about this?
Um, why don't you take me to the alley and you show me?
No, no way. No.
Listen, I don't know what to believe right now. Okay?
[inhales] So if you could just show me something,
then maybe I could understand.
I think that's reasonable. Right?
[tense electronic music]
[inhales] Right?
[both breathing uneasily]
[Adam] Okay.
Okay.
- [breathes heavily] - All right. This is it.
[siren wailing]
- [crickets chirping] - [traffic whirring]
I don't see anything.
- Should we go take a look? - No, no, I don't think so.
Adam, if someone's hurt,
then we have to help them. Right?
Kate, she's not hurt, she's dead.
[inhales and exhales]
Look, I think this is my fault.
I think somehow I made this happen.
I think, I think writing about this, it made it happen.
- It's be... - Adam, Adam, okay.
Seriously, baby, you didn't manifest this. Okay?
Babe, babe, I think you're tired,
and I think you're really stressed.
And I think you did see something.
I just think it's not what you thought you saw. Okay?
So let's just, go see if there's anything down there,
No, Kate. Kate, don't.
- Come on. - Kate. [sighs]
[tense electronic music]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Adam breathing uneasily]
I still don't see anything.
It definitely happened around here.
There's nothing here, babe.
Uh, I don't get it.
Maybe he moved the body.
Yeah, yeah, maybe.
I mean, wouldn't there be blood everywhere?
I mean, if what you said happened, happened.
It happened. Okay?
Okay.
Look, there, there's, there's, there's no body,
there's no blood, I, I mean, if the police were called,
this whole alley would be a crime scene, right?
Okay, Kate, I get it. I'm fucking crazy.
Okay? Let's go.
Uh, you can't seriously be mad at me. Hey, stop.
[Adam sighing]
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - Look at me.
You need to pause on the script thing, okay?
Just for a little bit, because I... [exhales]
Look, I don't know what's going on with you,
but it's not good, right?
It's not.
[exhales] Maybe you're right.
Come on, let's go.
- [mellow electronic music] - [lighter clicking]
- [dishes clacking] - This is gonna be good, babe.
You know, having James and Patrice over.
[exhales] Now I know he was excited
when he got the invite.
I'm proud of you.
[utensils clinking]
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Why's that?
I don't know, I just, I know how hard it was for you
to put your work aside and I just,
I wanted to tell you I appreciate it.
- Yeah, of course, right. - [Kate chuckling]
Also, I think that you were right.
I wasn't exactly at my best.
[both chuckling]
Well, you definitely seem happier
the past few weeks, right? [inhales]
- Yeah. - Yeah. [chuckles]
- [knocking] - Oh, boy, here they are.
- [Kate laughing] - Trouble, trouble, trouble.
- Hey! - Hi!
- We brought wine! - Woo!
- I hear something. - [all laughing]
- It's all my fault. - Oh, man.
- Yeah. - Kate, did Adam tell you
we were writing partners for a while back in college?
- Mm, yes, I know. - [Adam] Yes.
But we weren't that successful, unfortunately.
- Shocking. - [Adam] Mm.
Oh, zip it. She knows I'm a genius.
- She's just jealous. - You are a genius, honey,
- in your own way. - And I beg to differ.
We were successful.
Did he ever tell you that we wrote Zombieland
like ten years before it ever existed?
- Okay, what? - Oh my God.
We did not write Zombieland, James.
- We did. - No, we didn't.
We wrote a script called Zombieland,
which those are two very different things.
[James] I don't know if that's true.
How have you
- never told me this story? - Luck.
[group laughing]
Ah, well, well the major difference was our idea
was actually way better.
Well, yeah. How could it not be, right?
- Mm, don't encourage him. - Thank you.
- The Zombieland pitch. - [Adam] Oh.
It was, yeah, it was great.
It was Easy Rider meets...
[James And Adam] ...Night of the Living Dead.
- [Adam] Yes. - [James] Yeah, two bikers
set out to discover...
[Adam and James] ...America...
- and themselves. - [Adam] Mm-hmm.
Blah, blah, blah. They find a zombie apocalypse.
You know, babe, it's not bad.
- [James] Right? - Stop.
- [Kate] It's not. [laughs] - No.
[James] Listen to her.
Adam, if you wanna take another pass at it,
we could get the band back together.
- Mm. - [Kate chuckling]
[James] We'd have to change the title, but it'd be fun.
- No, it would not be fun. - [Kate laughing]
- I'm okay. - [James] All right, fine.
Then how about you let me partner with you
on this baby man killer thing you got going?
What?
Oh, um, [clears throat] nothing. Nothing.
It's just, ah, nothing.
It's just, I don't know, um,
kind of reconsidering the whole idea.
[Kate chuckling]
Really? I thought it was badass.
I loved it. Babe, did I tell you about this?
He's just, um, he's taking a break.
Um, just, just for a while, right?
Okay. Everything all right?
Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine.
I'm just, I don't know, stepping away for a minute.
It's no big deal.
It's just things have been kind of a little, little weird.
Yeah.
What? More ax holes in the blanket?
[tense electronic music]
- What? - Nothing.
Hey, can we all just, you know,
change the subject for a minute?
[Kate scoffing]
- [door creaking] - Hey, thanks for coming.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
- Oh. [chuckles] - [Kate chuckles]
Ah, yeah.
- [door creaks and thuds] - Sorry, buddy.
[Adam exhales and clears throat]
What?
Nothing.
Okay, yeah. So the stupid blanket thing.
I bought the new blanket because the old blanket
had a rip in it, and the rip was in the exact same spot
that Big Baby, you know, in my dream,
hacked at you with an ax.
And I just got freaked out that it was somehow related,
but it was actually James who convinced me
that I was just being crazy.
And I was embarrassed about the whole thing.
So, I don't know. I just hid the blanket
and I didn't say anything about it.
- Okay. - But of course,
now with everything else that's happened since then,
I have no fucking idea what to think.
Well, I think we are in the same place as before.
Okay? You need to put all this aside,
[inhales] and you need to get yourself straight
and we'll be fine, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[Adam] Okay.
Let's go to bed.
[footsteps tapping]
[tense electronic music]
[Big Baby breathing heavily]
- [floor creaking] - [Big Baby breathes heavily]
[bed creaking]
[Adam exhaling]
[blankets rustling]
[both breathing heavily]
[intense electronic music]
[Big Baby] She doesn't want you to succeed.
[eerie electronic music]
She enjoys your failures.
Don't be fooled by her kindness.
She's in your way, in our way.
Don't hurt her. [inhales and exhales]
You have to promise me you won't hurt Kate.
[Big Baby] Ah. No promises.
Just get back to work
and kill everyone who hurt me.
Make them suffer. [breathes uneasily]
And maybe I'll leave her alone.
Okay, I will.
[tense electronic music]
I'll kill them all. I'll make them suffer.
[Kate breathing uneasily]
[birds chirping]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Adam groaning]
Kate? [breathes heavily]
[blankets rustling]
[Adam groaning]
- [soft dramatic music] - Oh, fuck.
[Adam inhales and exhales]
Kate.
Mm. [breathes uneasily]
Kate.
[note rustling]
[note crinkling]
- [fist tapping] - Oh, fuck.
Fuck. Fuck.
- [phone trilling] - [Adam inhales and exhales]
Pick up, pick up.
[Kate] Hey, it's Kate. Leave a message.
- [voicemail beeping] - Kate,
what are you doing?
Okay, what are you doing? What are we doing here?
What are we doing? Is this really necessary?
I mean, you know, I thought,
I thought we were in a good place, right?
Okay? Can you just please just call me back?
Okay? Just, just let me know where you are, okay?
Okay, I love you. [breathes uneasily]
- [phone beeping] - Okay, okay.
[inhales and exhales] Okay.
- [phone tapping] - [Adam breathing heavily]
[knocking]
- [tense electronic music] - [door clicking]
- [water dripping] - [birds chirping]
Ah, can I help you?
- Um, what... - [footsteps pattering]
Can I come in?
I'm sorry, what? Who are you?
[water dripping]
I need to talk to you.
I'm sorry, I, I have no idea who you are. Okay?
What's, what's going on and why,
why, why are you dressed like that?
[dog barking]
- Can I come in? - No, no.
You, no, no. You can't come in.
I mean, if you have something you need to say,
you need to say it here, okay?
It's too important. Please?
Okay, ah, yeah. Okay, fine, whatever.
Yeah, sure. Come in.
[footsteps pattering]
[door creaks and thuds]
- [breathes uneasily] - Okay, what? What is it?
I need you to save me.
[Adam] Is this a joke?
No.
I'm Amanda, remember?
The one who pushed him in the pool?
Uh, wait, wait a second. What, what, who?
Amanda, from your script.
- You know who I am. - Wait a second.
Wait, wait, wait. How did you even know?
[breathes uneasily] Oh, okay.
Yeah, I get it. This is a fucking prank, right?
Is that what this is? Did Kate put you up to this?
- Is that what this is? - No.
You have to take me out of the story.
[Adam breathing uneasily]
If you don't, he'll, he'll find me and he'll kill me.
He'll kill us all, but we don't deserve it.
I don't deserve it.
[Adam breathing uneasily]
I was just a kid. [breathes uneasily]
I didn't know any better.
Okay. [laughs]
This, great. [clapping]
Beautiful performance. Thank you for that.
You done?
[robe rustling]
Oh, um, wh-whoa, whoa, okay.
Look, don't, you can't, do you...
- [door creaking] - Come on, lady.
You, you gotta go. Let's go. [sighs]
[eerie electronic music]
[door creaks and thuds]
[intense electronic music]
- [Amanda screaming] - Oh!
[gasps] Jesus! Jesus!
[phone buzzing]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Adam whimpering]
Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, where are you?
[breathes heavily]
- [Big Baby breathes heavily] - Kate?
[Big Baby] Finish the story or she dies.
[tense electronic music]
[phone beeping]
[breathes heavily] No.
[note crinkling]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[note crinkling]
[intense electronic music]
- [hands slamming] - [Adam groaning]
[chokes] You're not real.
[knife scraping]
[Big Baby] Is this real?
- [Adam groaning] - [body slamming]
Who's the Big Baby now?
- [knife slicing] - [Adam groaning]
[blood trickling]
[Adam whimpering]
[knife tapping]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Adam gasps and whimpers]
[knife scraping]
[eerie electronic music]
[Adam whimpering]
[phone trilling]
- [Kate] Hello? - Kate, Kate, Kate,
Kate, where are you? Where are you?
Hey, when, when you called earlier,
how, how did he get your phone?
Did he hurt you? [breathes uneasily]
What? But, Adam, it's okay, stop it.
I, I didn't call you. Didn't you get my note?
You're, you're note? What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got your note,
but that's a whole other, Kate, Kate, listen to me.
Listen to me. Where are you?
Okay, you're in danger. [whimpers]
[Kate inhales] Um, uh, I just,
I don't know if I wanna tell you where I am, okay?
- Kate. - You're really scaring me.
Kate, no, no, no, no, no! Listen, listen to me!
You are in danger!
He told me that if I don't finish this script,
you, you'll die, okay?
He'll kill you. Big baby.
[Kate crying]
Kate, did you hear me?
- I gotta go. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Please, please, please, please, please,
just listen to me, okay?
Listen to me.
I need to see you, but also need to write. Okay?
I need to write, and I just need to finish this
so you, so we, we can all be okay.
Okay? I'm just, I just, I just don't know what else to do.
I need to write it and I need to finish this
so everything can go back to normal.
Okay, Kate? Kate?
No, you gotta believe me, Kate. I'm not crazy.
I'm not fucking crazy, Kate. [whimpers]
[Kate crying]
- I'm sorry, I can't. - Kate.
[phone beeping]
Kate. [whimpers]
Kate.
[Adam whimpering]
[tense electronic music]
- [phone tapping] - [computer scraping]
[keyboard clattering]
[Adam] Kenny, mid-thirties,
and Julia, mid-thirties, exit the bar.
- Slow down. - Catch up.
[Adam] And stumble across the parking lot
- towards their car. - Fuck.
Can't believe I gotta work in four hours.
Well, you could always get fired again.
Are you sure you're okay to drive?
Yeah, I'm fine. Who's gonna drive, you?
[Julia scoffing]
- [scoffs] I don't think so. - [keys jangling]
- [door clicking] - What the fuck?
- Shit was unlocked all night. - Uh. [sighs]
Come on. Jesus.
- [doors thudding] - [Kenny sighing]
[keys scraping]
- What's wrong? - Won't start.
- [ignition clicking] - [Julia exhaling]
[Kenny sighing]
Jesus, Julia, you left the fucking light on.
- You drained the battery. - No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
You were doing your fucking makeup in the goddamn mirror
and you didn't turn the light off.
- Now we're fucked! - Calm down.
Just get someone to jump us.
[inhales] Oh, gee, thanks.
Is that what I should fucking do? Fuck!
- [sighs] Jesus. - [door clicking]
- So dramatic. - Fucking wise ass.
[door slamming]
[intense electronic music]
- [Kenny sighing] - [keys jangling]
[trunk popping]
[Kenny breathing heavily]
[bag crinkling]
Oh, come on.
Julia, what'd you do with the jumpers? Fuck.
[bag crinkling]
Dammit, Julia.
- [trunk creaks and slams] - [suspenseful electronic music]
[Kenny breathing uneasily]
- [cigarette sizzling] - [Smokey inhales]
[Kenny inhales and exhales]
Hey, man.
You, ah, think you'd gimme a jump? Car's dead.
- [cigarette sizzling] - [Smokey inhales and exhales]
- Ah. - [engine starting]
Cool, man. Cool.
[engine humming]
You gotta be fucking kidding me. Fucking cock.
Yeah, you go home to your 17 kids. Fucker.
[engine rumbling]
Goddammit. You gotta be...
You won't even fucking believe this.
- [door thudding] - [sighs] Fucking asshole.
I ask him for a jump and he just drives off.
Hope he dies in a crash on the way home.
Call roadside. My phone's dead.
Hey, what are you asleep or something?
[head tearing]
- [gasps] Oh, fuck. - [blood spurting]
- [head squishing] - Oh, what the fuck?
Fuck! You fucking, what did you do to my...
Julia, your fucking head is in my...
- [head thumping] - [Kenny gasping]
[door clicking]
[intense electronic music]
[Kenny panting]
[Kenny gasping]
[Kenny whimpering]
Who the fuck are you? What the fuck?
- [ax whooshes and whacks] - [blood spurting]
[keyboard clattering]
[footsteps pattering]
[crickets chirping]
[traffic whirring]
[tense electronic music]
- [Kate sips and swallows] - [mug tapping]
[clock ticking]
Am I a terrible person?
I mean, ah, am I a terrible person
for leaving him alone like that? [sniffs]
Hey, you need to do what is right for you.
What makes you feel safe.
Yeah. No, I, I, I know.
I just, um, you didn't hear him.
He sounded so lost on the phone,
and, um, honestly, I'm just,
I'm really scared.
I don't think you need to be scared of Adam.
Don't tell her how she should feel.
I'm not telling her how to feel.
I'm just saying, it's Adam.
You know? Our Adam.
[sighs] Yeah. Yeah, I know.
It's just, um, it's, it's also our Adam
that's just completely convinced
this Big Baby character's actually real.
I get it, but Adam would never do anything to hurt you.
That guy would kill for you, Kate.
[eerie electronic music]
What?
Yeah.
[hand rubbing]
- [Adam breathing heavily] - [keyboard clattering]
[tense electronic music]
[soft piano music]
[Graham inhales and exhales]
[screen clicking]
[Graham inhales and exhales]
- [phone tapping] - [Graham sighing]
[bed creaking]
[gentle electronic music]
[inhales] Dear God, I'm going to bed now,
and I wanna say thank you for taking care of me.
I also wanna ask if you could please help guide
Mr. Tinkles back home to me.
I know it's been over a month,
but I'm sure he's still out there.
Even though everyone says
he probably got eaten by a coyote.
Oh, also another season of Battlestar Galactica
would be a real blessing in my life.
[inhales] Okay, well, thank you, God.
Goodnight. Amen.
Mm.
[blankets and pillow rustling]
Mm.
- [switch clicking] - [Graham inhales and exhales]
[bed creaking]
[eerie electronic music]
[Graham exhaling]
[blankets rustling]
[Graham inhales and exhales]
- [tense electronic music] - [Mr. Tinkles purring]
[Mr. Tinkles meowing]
- [Mr. Tinkles meowing] - [paws pattering]
[Big Baby exhaling]
[footsteps thumping]
[ethereal singing]
[Mr. Tinkles meowing]
[inhales] Mr. Tinkles?
- [Mr. Tinkles shrieking] - [intense electronic music]
- [cross whooshes and stabs] - [Graham gasping]
- [ethereal singing] - [keyboard clattering]
[ax scraping]
- [ax whooshes and whacks] - [blood spurting]
[flesh squelching]
[tense electronic music]
[ax clattering]
- [head tearing] - [Big Baby crying]
[blood dripping]
[ethereal music]
- [head squishing] - [blood trickling]
[hand patting]
[footsteps thumping]
- [Mr. Tinkles meowing] - Huh, good.
This is really... [chuckles]
You want them dead, I'll make 'em all dead.
I'll make them dead, if that makes you
- feel good about that. - [keyboard clattering]
- [eerie electronic music] - [crickets chirping]
- This was fun. - Yeah, it was.
We should do it again sometime, maybe, if you want.
Yeah, that would be great.
- Yeah. - Ah, it's just, it's,
I, I wasn't sure, you know,
it's hard to tell sometimes.
[inhales] Do you wanna come in?
Like now?
Uh, uh, yeah, never mind.
I, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.
Could we just pretend I didn't say that? Uh, yeah.
No, no, I, I would, I, it's just,
it's late and I have an early morning.
Oh, yeah, it's fine.
No, I'll, I'll come in.
You know, [chuckles] you know, it, you're right.
I, I didn't realize it was that late.
[inhales] Ah.
Okay.
Uh.
Um, well...
[Nikki inhales] Uh.
- Um. [chuckles] - [Nikki chuckling]
I will call you.
- Okay? - Okay, goodnight.
Goodnight.
[doors clicking]
[phone beeping]
- [door creaks and thuds] - [phone trilling]
- [man] You're alive. - [chuckles] I'm alive.
So how'd it go?
It went good. We had fun.
[inhales] He's cute.
Mm, but what?
But nothing.
I mean, I invited him in and he said, "No."
He said, "No?"
Well, yeah, he said he had to get up early.
- Hmm, that's weird. - Is it?
He doesn't wanna get laid?
[chuckles] Who said he was gonna get laid?
- [inhales] Mm-hmm. - [eerie electronic music]
[chuckles] I mean, I don't know.
Maybe I'm reading into it.
He did say that he would call me.
- [blinds clattering] - Fuck him, whatever.
If he calls, he calls.
- What the fuck? - What?
His car is, is still in my driveway.
- What do you mean? - What do you mean,
what do I mean? His car is still parked in my driveway.
Maybe he changed his mind.
Or maybe he wants to murder me.
Ah. He's not coming in.
I don't see him.
- Are you sure it's his car? - Yes, I'm sure it's his car.
[inhales and exhales] You know what?
I'm just gonna go out there. I'll call you back, okay?
- No, maybe just text him. - [phone beeping]
[door creaks and thuds]
[crickets chirping]
[suspenseful electronic music]
What the fuck?
- [door clicks and thuds] - [phone trilling]
[man] What's going on over there?
Nothing. I mean, I went outside and I looked in his car
and no one's there.
Well, it must not be his car.
Just do me a favor, stay inside.
Just in case he's pulling some weird shit.
[inhales and exhales] No, it was for sure
his car, just no him.
Well, all the more reason to stay inside.
- [knocking] - Oh, never mind, that's him.
He's knocking. I'll call you back, okay?
- No, Nikki, don't. - [phone beeping]
- [door clicking] - [intense electronic music]
[keyboard clattering]
[Nikki gasps and screams]
[glass shattering]
[body slamming]
No, no, no!
- [body thudding] - [Nikki screaming]
No, no, no! [screams] God!
- No, no! - [ax whooshes and whacks]
[keyboard clattering]
[Adam breathing heavily]
[tense electronic music]
[knocking]
[knife scraping]
- [suspenseful electronic music] - [Adam breathes uneasily]
[curtain rustling]
[Adam breathing heavily]
- [knocking] - [James] Come on, open up.
I can hear you breathing.
[Adam inhales and exhales]
[door clicks and creaks]
- [crickets chirping] - [eerie electronic music]
- [Adam breathing heavily] - Hey, buddy.
How you doing?
- What are you doing here? - Nothing.
Just checking on you. Are you okay?
That's a nasty cut you got.
Oh, ah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm, um, [sniffs] I'm fine.
I'm just, ah, you know, [inhales] working.
[breathes uneasily] Do you mind if I come in?
Yeah. It's not really a good time.
Yeah, I, ah, okay. I just, I'm just worried about you.
You know? You don't seem like, you don't seem like yourself.
[exhales and exhales] No one gets
what's going on here.
[inhales] All right, Kate thinks I'm nuts,
but I'm only trying to protect her.
I'm just trying to protect her.
[inhales and exhales] She's in real danger.
- Yeah, she's worried too. - [tense electronic music]
You talked to her?
Why don't you just let me in for a minute
and you can tell me about what's going on?
[exhales] It's me.
Okay. [sighs]
[door creaks and thuds]
[Adam] Oh, you want a beer or something?
- [Adam inhales and exhales] - Hey, buddy,
why don't we just put the knife down?
[exhales and inhales] Oh, man, sorry.
- You know, I gotta be prepared. - Right.
Okay? In case he comes back.
Just put the, yeah, there you go.
- [knife clattering] - [Adam sighing]
Why don't you just tell me everything that's going on?
- [Adam breathing heavily] - [eerie electronic music]
Okay, [breathes uneasily] first it started out as dreams,
or I don't know, you know, something like dreams,
something in-between.
But then things actually, they started happening.
People started getting hurt.
They started dying, getting murdered,
and somehow I was responsible. [breathes heavily]
I have some control, right, through my writing,
but I don't know how it, I don't, I don't know.
I don't, I don't know how to fully...[exhales]
I'm just trying to protect Kate, okay?
And make him go away.
[inhales] Make who go away?
Big Baby.
I don't think Big Baby's real, bud.
- [Adam sighing] - I think you just,
you got in too deep and now you just need some help to,
[inhales] I don't know, regulate.
- He's real! - [tense electronic music]
He's real! He was here!
That's who cut me, and I need to finish
this script or he kills Kate!
[James inhales] You got her real scared, dude. [exhales]
You talked to her. Where is she?
- I can't-- - James, James, where is she?
- Look, she-- - Where is she?
She's with me and Patrice,
but she doesn't want you to know,
and I'm, [sighs] shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
Okay, you gotta leave. You gotta leave.
I need to finish this, I need to finish the script.
- Let me help you. - [Adam breathes heavily]
Whoa, whoa, take it easy. [inhales]
- James, leave. - Uh. [exhales]
- Leave. - Okay, I'll leave,
- Hey, listen to me. - but I just...
Watch after her. I'll be done here soon.
Everything's gonna be fine, okay?
Okay? Why don't you go tell her that?
Go tell her that everything is gonna be fine.
- Just calm down. - James, get out.
Get out, James.
- James, get, get out! - Okay.
- Get out! - Okay, okay, I'll leave.
I just, I, I'll go, but I,
- [door creaking] - I just,
[exhales and inhales] I love you buddy.
[Adam breathing heavily]
[door creaks and thuds]
[tense electronic music]
[knife scraping]
[keyboard clattering]
[Adam breathing heavily continues]
- [crickets chirping] - [owl hooting]
[robe rustling]
[suspenseful electronic music]
[water splashing]
[Amanda inhales and exhales]
[Amanda breathing heavily]
- [Amanda inhaling] - [water splashing]
[water burbling]
- [intense electronic music] - [Amanda gasping]
- [water splashes and bubbles] - [Amanda screaming]
[Amanda groaning]
- No! - [water bubbling]
[Amanda gasping]
[Amanda groans and screams]
[face bashing]
[water splashing]
[Amanda groaning]
[intense electronic music]
[Amanda gasping]
- [ax scraping] - No.
[Amanda panting]
Please.
- Wait! - [Adam breathes uneasily]
Wait.
Please. You can save me. [whimpers]
You can write whatever you want and, and I can live.
I told you how sorry I was. I never meant to hurt anyone.
Please.
You'll be no better than him.
You'll be just like him.
You'll be a killer.
Sorry.
- No! - [ax whooshes and whacks]
- [blood trickling] - [Amanda gasping]
[flesh squelching]
- [ax whooshes and whacks] - [Amanda screaming]
[blood spurting]
[Amanda whimpering]
[body thudding]
[hand squishing]
- [water splashing] - [Amanda gasping]
- [ax whooshes and whacks] - [ethereal vocalizing]
[blood trickling]
- [ax whooshes and whacks] - [blood spurting]
[head thudding]
[leg squishing]
[blood dripping]
[water splashing]
[ethereal vocalizing continues]
- [Amanda groaning] - [ax whooshes and whacks]
[keyboards clattering]
[head tearing]
[blood dripping]
- [Big Baby whining] - [water splashing]
[ethereal vocalizing]
[keyboard clattering]
- [Adam breathes heavily] - [soft dramatic music]
[Adam laughing]
[clock ticking]
[Adam laughing hysterically]
Yes, yes, you did it.
[Adam breathing heavily]
[screen tapping]
- [Adam gasping] - [tense electronic music]
Kate.
- [breathes heavily] Kate! - [hand pounding]
[Kate whimpering]
- [hand pounding] - Kate!
[Adam breathing heavily]
- [Kate breathing heavily] - [hand pounding]
Kate! Come on, open up.
- I know you're in there. - [Patrice gasping]
Just call the police.
It's okay. I've got this.
- [Kate breathing uneasily] - Kate!
- [door clicks and creaks] - [suspenseful electronic music]
[Adam breathing heavily]
Hey, buddy.
Hey, where's Kate?
[James] Just take it easy.
Where is she? [breathes heavily]
She's not here.
James, don't lie to me.
[James] I'm telling you, she's not here.
I need to see her. [breathes heavily]
- She's not here? - She's not here.
- Okay. - [door banging]
- Move! - [Kate and Patrice screaming]
- [Adam breathing heavily] - [door slamming]
Adam, stop! [whimpers]
- [Adam exhaling] - What are you doing?
[whimpers] Baby, just, just put down the knife.
[Kate and Adam breathe heavily]
I'm not gonna hurt you. Okay?
- I'm not gonna hurt anybody. - [inhales]
I'm here to tell you that everything's fine. Okay?
- [inhales] I fixed it. - [Kate breathes uneasily]
[sobs] It's done.
It's done. [sobs]
Big Baby, he's not gonna hurt you. Okay?
[hand rubbing]
Okay.
Hey, that's, that's good.
That, that, means if he's not gonna hurt me,
then, then you think you could just put down the knife.
- Right? - [clock ticking]
Right? 'Cause, 'cause you said I'm safe.
So just, let's just put down the knife.
[Kate inhaling]
I need to talk to you... alone.
Yeah. Of, of course.
Um, let's just give James the knife
and then we can go talk, okay?
Yeah, buddy. Just hand me the knife.
- Ah, ah! - Oh, no!
No! Ow, let me go!
Stop it! Ow!
No! [screams]
Ow! Stop it!
- [door slamming] - [Patrice knocking]
- Kate! - Open the door!
Kate, are you okay? Can you hear me?
- Is it locked? - Yes, it's locked!
- [Kate whimpering] - [Patricia knocking]
- Kate! - [Adam breathes uneasily]
- [doorknob clattering] - Kate.
[both breathing heavily]
- Oh, shh. - [suspenseful electronic music]
Adam, this isn't okay.
- I'm not okay. - Kate,
I would never hurt you.
Here.
[Kate gasping]
- Take it. - Kate!
- Let us in! - [Kate whimpering]
- It's okay! I'm okay! - [swallows and whimpers]
What should we do? Should we call the police?
What? Shit, no.
Uh, I don't know. Let's just give 'em a minute.
[Patrice exhaling]
[inhales] What are we supposed to do? Huh?
What, what do you expect me to do?
I don't know.
It doesn't matter anymore. [inhales]
You can think I'm crazy. [inhales] You can leave me.
You can call the police.
Oh, it just doesn't matter anymore.
I just want you to know that all I did,
everything that I did, it was to,
it was to protect you.
[Kate whimpering]
Oh, I don't understand any of this.
- [Kate sniffing] - I don't understand
how this happened, but I know, Kate,
Kate, I know it's not in my head,
or maybe that's where it started, but somehow,
somehow it got out.
- [Kate whimpering] - It got out
and it's here now.
It's here.
No,
it's not.
It can't be.
[Adam sniffing]
Let me help you, please?
It's not too late. I can, I can help you.
[Kate breathing uneasily]
It's too late.
And now I've realized
there's only one way for all this to stop.
[whimpers] What are you saying?
- Interior, bedroom, night. - [Kate exhaling]
Big Baby emerges from the shadows.
[Kate whimpering]
[tense electronic music]
[inhales] He moves across the room towards Adam.
[floor creaking]
[gasps] Adam, what the fuck?
[inhales] The killer lifts his ax. [gasps and groans]
No, no.
- And screams. - [Big Baby screaming]
- [intense electronic music] - [ax whacking]
- [Kate screaming] - Break it down!
- What?
- Move! - [door banging]
[Kate gasping]
Oh!
[Patrice and James breathing heavily]
[eerie electronic music]
It wasn't me.
It was him.
[intense electronic music]
It was Big Baby.
[tense electronic music]
[intense electronic music]
[eerie electronic music]
Welcome back to...
[both] Blood Soaked.
The biggest, bloodiest horror movie review podcast
in the history of the world.
- As usual, I'm Vampire Greg. - And I'm Steve Strange.
And we hope you are ready for this episode.
We are going to review a movie that just dropped this weekend.
The highly-anticipated slasher, mm, Big Baby.
- [baby crying] - Oh, I'm already shitting
- in my diaper, ooh. - I know.
I can smell it from here.
But the thing is, this isn't just a review of the film.
- Oh, no. - Mm-mm.
Me and Greg actually have a personal connection
- to the movie itself. - Or at least someone
ah, associated with this, with this film.
So myself and my partner in crime here, Steve,
had an interaction, let's just say, with Adam Lewis,
- the writer of this film. - Right, okay.
So me and Greg were minding our business
at our local coffee shop and up walks this dude.
Yes, this dude, of course, being Adam Lewis,
the, the screenwriter of Big Baby.
Right, but of course, we didn't know this at the time.
So he walks up and he wants to start talking horror movies,
and, and, and we thought he was just fanboying us like--
- As usual. - A lot of people do.
Um, but no, it turns out that he'd heard our review
of his previous film, The Blackest Moon.
[chuckles] Which we both agreed
was a steaming pile of dog vomit, right?
- [person flatulates] - Mm-hmm, exactly.
Well, Mr. Lewis did not take kindly
to that assessment.
And then he proceeded to dump an entire cup of coffee.
- Hot coffee. - Hot coffee
- on our heads. - Hot coffee.
I mean, this guy was a fucking lunatic.
Right, so, flash forward to more recent news,
and get this, our buddy Adam Lewis, right?
Hey, get ready for it.
- He was... - [dramatic orchestral music]
- ...murdered by his girlfriend. - [blood spurting]
- Allegedly. - Allege-- Allegedly.
I mean, there are some sources that say
it may have been a suicide,
or at least there was some questions
as to what actually happened.
Who knows? Who cares?
Whatever, trial pending.
Sure, so you know what? You know what?
Suicide, schmuicide. All right?
I'm saying this guy fucking deserved it.
- Whoa. - Well, look, I couldn't get
those coffee stains outta my shirt after like a week,
so, yeah, no fucking remorse.
Okay, all right. Fair enough.
Well, Mr. Lewis did manage to crank out one last script
before his untimely demise, and that script
was for the movie Big Baby.
Which hits theaters this week.
Mm-hmm. So, okay, what'd you think?
Look, this, this might, this might come as a shock,
but I thought it was fucking awesome.
- Yeah, hell yeah, it was. - Fucking sick.
Now let's get into the details of this monster piece.
Be warned, spoilers ahead.
[lighter clicking]
[Vampire Greg inhales and exhales]
- Good show today, bro. - Yeah, man, good shit.
[exhales] Wanna grab a drink?
Sure, why not? Yeah.
Hey, um, [exhales]
you don't think we were too harsh on that guy, right?
- Adam Lewis? - [cigarette sizzling]
[inhales and exhales] No, fuck that guy.
- That's what I was thinking. - Right? [scoffs]
[inhales] Fuck that guy. [exhales]
[footsteps pattering]
[crickets chirping]
[intense electronic music]