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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
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[THUNDER RUMBLING]
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MAN: [SINGING] I telegraphed and phoned
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I sent air mail special, too
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Yeah, I know.
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[SINGING] Answer was goodbye
There was even postage due
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[THUNDER RUMBLING]
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I fell in love just once
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And then it had to be with you
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Triple rhyme.
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[SINGING] Everything happens to me
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Oh, fuck.
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[GROANS]
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Yeah.
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ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO]
WQXR notes the passing
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of one of America's foremost songwriters,
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Lorenz Hart, who died last night
at Doctors Hospital in Manhattan
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from complications of pneumonia.
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Mr. Hart was 48 years old.
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For over 20 years,
Hart and his partner, Richard Rodgers,
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Rodgers wrote the music, Hart the words,
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combined their respective geniuses
to create a string of musical-comedy hits.
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Often referred to as America's
Gilbert and Sullivan,
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Rodgers and Hart will be remembered
for such songs as,
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My Funny Valentine,
The Lady Is A Tramp,
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Where or When, With A Song In My Heart,
Isn't It Romantic?,
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My Heart Stood Still, Bewitched,
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I Didn't Know What Time It Was,
Manhattan,
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and Blue Moon.
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[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
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[SINGING]
Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
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Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
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We know we belong to the land
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Here comes "grand."
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And the land we belong to is grand
And when we say
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Yow! Ayipioeeay!
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We're only sayin'
"You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!"
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I need a drink.
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-Lorry.
-I'll see you later, Mom.
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L-A-H-O-M-A
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[EXHALES]
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Oklahoma!
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Yow!
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[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
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[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
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[PLAYING MELLOW TUNE]
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[DOOR OPENS]
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All right. For the last time,
put the letters on the table.
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"If Laszlo and the cause
mean that much to you,
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"you won't stop at anything."
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All right, I'll make it easy on you.
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"Go ahead, shoot.
You'd be doing me a favor."
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Just remember,
I got this gun pointed at your dick.
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Oh. That's my least vulnerable spot.
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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BARTENDER: Jesus Christ! How many times
have we seen that picture?
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Worst line in Casablanca?
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"Well, a precedent is being broken."
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"A precedent is being broken"?
How can you break a goddamn precedent?
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Do they even speak English over there
in Hollywood?
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Still, you have to love Claude Rains.
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He makes that picture.
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-Sure.
-HART: You know why he's so great?
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He's a leading man, and he's short,
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which proves you can be both.
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And I love this.
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He says to Ilsa,
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"Mademoiselle, he's the kind of man that,
if I were a woman
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"and I were not around,
I should be in love with Rick."
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[CHUCKLES]
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Think about it. Whom does he end up with
at the end of the picture?
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Who's strolling away together arm in arm
into the fog?
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You're saying Rick and Captain Renault...
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What do you think goes on over there
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at the Free French garrison
in Brazzaville?
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That is a scene they can't show you.
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Okay. Best line in Casablanca?
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HART AND BARTENDER: "Nobody ever
loved me that much."
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Isn't that magnificent?
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Six words.
"Nobody ever loved me that much."
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[SCOFFS] And, really,
who's ever been loved enough?
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Who's ever been loved half enough?
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Would you get me a shot?
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Larry, you told me
under no circumstances...
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I'm just going to look at it.
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-[INHALES DEEPLY]
-Take the measure
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of its amber heft in my hand.
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-You told me not...
-Just give me the drink.
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[EXHALES DEEPLY]
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Did I tell you what Elizabeth told me?
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That's the girl I'm meeting here tonight.
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-You mean the one you...
-Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
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-What?
-Show some class, all right?
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Her mother is going to come
walking in here any second.
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-Sorry.
-Seriously.
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I... I adore this girl.
And, I'm telling you, this is beyond sex.
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-What's beyond sex?
-I don't understand it.
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She's completely undeserving,
but isn't that the way it always is?
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"Irrational adoration."
That's the phrase she came up with.
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She's a poet, too. Did I tell you that?
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Oh, and would you give me
a shot of club soda?
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I'll drink one and admire the other.
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So, this girl...
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You really, you know,
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with a 20-year-old college girl, huh?
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It is more complicated
than you could possibly imagine.
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Uh, leave the bottle.
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It's a visual poem.
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You're not giving me any details here.
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You know what my secret goal is
for the rest of this year?
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-What?
-I'm serious. Really.
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My secret goal is to stop being so scared.
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-Elizabeth Weiland. For...
-HART: Those are mine!
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Jesus! That is all you get
for five dollars?
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Plus delivery, yes.
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[SIGHS]
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Lorenz Hart?
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You know, I kind of think
I've heard that name before.
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You just earned yourself
a dollar tip, kid.
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A precedent is being broken.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Hey, she gave this to me.
Mailed it all the way from New Haven
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because I said I wanted something
she'd actually touched.
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[SNIFFS] Christ! It's like I'm 17 again,
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except I never was 17.
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I went directly from childhood
to washed-up.
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-Eddie, get the kid a drink, would you?
-No thanks. I'm... I'm working.
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Oh, Christ, that's when
you should be drinking.
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What's your name? Sven, am I right?
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-Troy.
-HART: Ooh, even better.
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Listen, Sven, are you free tonight?
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Eddie, would you get the kid
a goddamn shot?
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-Yeah.
-'Cause I am throwing
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an enormous party at my place.
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All of show business is going to be there.
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I've booked the Golden Gate Quartet.
I'm serious.
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I want you to show up, bring a friend,
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bring a dozen friends.
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It's going to be like
nothing you've ever seen before.
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I'm up at the Ardsley, you know?
91st, on the Park.
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Just tell the desk clerk
that you're with Lorenz Hart's party.
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You're going to need to know the password.
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-Are you ready for the password?
-TROY: Mmm-hmm.
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"Nobody ever loved me that much."
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Slow! Oh.
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-Now that is a beautiful sight.
-[COUGHS]
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[SNIFFS]
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What, you don't drink?
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[SINGING]
After one whole quart of brandy
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Like a daisy I awake
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You know that song?
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Uh, no, no.
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[SINGING] My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine...
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I really don't listen to the radio
that much.
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You said you know my name!
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-You don't know one Rodgers and Hart song?
-I know...
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I just can't really remember...
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[SINGING] I'll take Manhattan
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The Bronx and Staten...
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We were on the cover of Time Magazine!
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My picture is on the wall right...
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Eddie, where's my picture?
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EDDIE: They move 'em around.
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-What do you...
-PIANIST: Well, how about this one?
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00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,004
[SINGING] Blue moon
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00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,213
I know that one!
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00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:09,675
[SINGING ALONG]
You saw me standing alone
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00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:14,138
Without a dream in my heart
171
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,558
Without a love of my own
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Worst goddamn lyric I ever wrote!
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-You wrote that?
-Wasn't even supposed to be the title.
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[CHUCKLING] I like that song.
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HART: Hmm. I'll take my tip back.
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I want you at my party, Sven!
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00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:32,948
[DOOR OPENS]
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00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,702
Doc Bender said to me the other night,
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00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:39,288
after I told him I'd proposed
to Vivienne again,
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"She turned me down, again,"
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00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:44,710
he said... [IN GRUFF VOICE]
"Larry, make up your mind.
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"Are you homosexual or heterosexual?"
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[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I said, "Doc, I'm ambisexual."
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He said... [IMITATING]
"What the hell does that even mean?"
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[IN NORMAL VOICE] I said,
"It means I can jerk off
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"equally well with either hand."
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00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,806
Oh, Larry! There's a lady present.
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00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:59,683
HART: [CHUCKLING]
Well, women can use either hand, too.
189
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:04,480
But to be a writer, you have
to be kind of omni-sexual, don't you?
190
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:08,567
You have to have, inside yourself,
you know, everyone on earth.
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00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,403
Men, women, horses.
192
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:14,115
How can you give voice
to the whole chorus of the world
193
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:17,785
if the whole chorus of the world
isn't already inside you?
194
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,246
[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]
195
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:25,751
Eddie, what do you call a tireless,
relentless homosexual?
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00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,920
-[MUMBLES]
-"Indefagitable."
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00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,797
[CHUCKLING]
198
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,927
To the great and glorious past,
when it all mattered so much.
199
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,346
Mmm.
200
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:39,098
Keep playing. You're good.
201
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,519
-Oh, thank you. I'm an aspiring composer.
-HART: "Aspiring"?
202
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,563
-That means you're breathing, right?
-PIANIST: Mmm.
203
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150
I better take your name down
in case I need a new partner.
204
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,318
Hey, did you go to the opening tonight?
205
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:55,573
Oklahoma! With an exclamation point,
no less.
206
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,076
Fact. Any title that feels the need
for an exclamation point,
207
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,828
you want to steer clear of.
208
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,621
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
209
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,206
What did you say
your name was again?
210
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:07,585
Uh, Morty Rifkin. But I go by the name
of Morty Rafferty.
211
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,171
[SOFTLY] No one could possibly
guess you're Jewish.
212
00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:12,048
[CHUCKLES]
213
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,138
MORTY: Wha'dja think of Oklahoma?
214
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:23,392
What did I think of Oklahoma?
215
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:26,604
[INHALES] Well, Knuckles,
216
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,857
Knuckles O'Rifkin,
that's what I'm going to call you,
217
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,444
I saw the show a couple of times
in previews in New Haven,
218
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,490
back when they were still calling it
Away We Go! Exclamation point.
219
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:40,534
And I felt sure Dick was gonna call me,
220
00:11:41,327 --> 00:11:43,996
"Larry, we're in big trouble.
221
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,666
"I need you to funny up the show.
We need some big comedy numbers."
222
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,126
And I was all ready to say,
223
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:53,506
"Dick, instead of all this
corn-pone Americana,
224
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:56,717
"let's do a send-up
of corn-pone Americana!"
225
00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:59,678
I was already writing lyrics in my head.
I couldn't stop.
226
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:00,930
And did he call you?
227
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:04,016
HART: Are you kidding?
He was too busy writing more hits. Huh.
228
00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,604
I sat in my box seat tonight and watched
229
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:11,440
-"Oklahomo, exclamation point"...
-[EDDIE CHUCKLES]
230
00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:13,943
...down there,
glittering in all its pink lights
231
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:17,321
and all those cowboy hats
and twirling lassos,
232
00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:21,742
and I knew two things
with absolute certainty.
233
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:23,702
-[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
-It was a 14-karat hit
234
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:27,206
and it was a 14-karat piece of shit.
235
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,583
Oh. Friend of mine saw it in previews,
236
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,544
said it was one of the best shows
he's ever seen.
237
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,965
The show is fraudulent
on every possible level.
238
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,217
And this is not jealousy speaking, okay?
239
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:44,765
I watched that show tonight
and I felt this great sinking in my heart.
240
00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:49,812
And all around me people are roaring.
They are roaring at third-rate jokes.
241
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,773
I wanted to grab the audience
by the shoulders and say,
242
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:56,986
"What are you laughing at?
Come on! Demand more!" And...
243
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,864
Rodgers is a genius.
244
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,533
I say that without
one second's hesitation.
245
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,243
You're a piano player.
You know that I'm right.
246
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,453
Yeah, he's pretty good.
247
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,329
Pretty good?
248
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:11,792
There is no one with his range,
his inventiveness,
249
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:17,423
great soaring masculine melodies
building like pile drivers.
250
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,675
I mean, Rodgers is a cold-hearted
son of a bitch,
251
00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:21,469
but he can get a melody to levitate,
252
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:26,223
and that is the hallmark
of great art, levitation.
253
00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:31,520
[SINGING] I've got a beautiful feeling
254
00:13:31,604 --> 00:13:33,939
That's the moment. You hear that?
255
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,983
When your spine glows
256
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:40,362
and the whole apparatus of songwriting
suddenly breaks free from gravity.
257
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:44,366
There's maybe five people on the planet
that can pull that off,
258
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,786
and that son of a bitch is one of 'em.
259
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:53,250
And then, oy... [SIGHS]
Words by Oscar Hammerstein II.
260
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,835
[HART AND EDDIE CHUCKLING]
261
00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:56,670
What can I say about Oscar?
262
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,131
He's going to come striding in here
any second,
263
00:13:59,215 --> 00:14:00,466
all seven and a half feet of him,
264
00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:03,260
and, you know, Dick deliberately went
with somebody tall this time,
265
00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:05,137
you know that. [INHALES DEEPLY]
266
00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:06,722
But what can I say about Oscar?
267
00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:10,267
He's so earthbound,
268
00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:13,604
and let's face it,
most of us are earthbound.
269
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,148
But there are moments, I swear to God,
270
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,234
there are moments in my work
271
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,403
when I have made something bigger
than myself.
272
00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:21,946
I agree, definitely.
273
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:25,032
Thank you. The words were bigger
than the music,
274
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,784
bigger than the characters
who sang them,
275
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:30,413
and they approached, for maybe
one-half second, something immortal.
276
00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:34,291
Excuse my limitless self-regard,
but they did,
277
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:37,336
and if nobody else is going to say it,
then I'm going to.
278
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:40,673
I have written a handful of words
that are going to cheat death.
279
00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:43,300
Spoken with the modesty of a true lunatic.
280
00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:45,511
Hey! When Shakespeare wrote,
281
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,805
"Not marble nor gilded monuments
282
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,599
"Of princes
shall outlive this powerful rhyme,"
283
00:14:50,683 --> 00:14:53,227
did people say, "My God, what an ego"?
284
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:57,857
No, they said he is a genius,
and he knows his work is going to last.
285
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,066
So now you're Shakespeare?
286
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:02,653
Look, Oklahoma! is going to win
the goddamn Pulitzer. I know that.
287
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,030
High schools are going to put it on
from now till doomsday,
288
00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,908
because it is so inoffensive.
289
00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:11,120
But really, who wants inoffensive art?
290
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,371
Knuckles... [SNAPS FINGERS]
291
00:15:12,455 --> 00:15:14,540
...are you listening to me?
I'm trying to answer your question.
292
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:17,626
Is that why God put us on the planet,
to not offend people?
293
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:20,463
-[CONTINUES PLAYING TUNE]
-The problem with Oklahoma! is this,
294
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:23,466
and the problem was right there
in the original play,
295
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,134
Green Grow the Fucking Lilacs.
296
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,803
And Dick first showed that play to me,
all right?
297
00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:30,306
He asked me to adapt it first,
and I said no,
298
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,141
and I don't mind that it's nostalgic,
299
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,101
but Oklahoma!, exclamation point,
300
00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:37,396
is nostalgic for a world
that never existed,
301
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:42,485
and do you really want to write a show
where the main character's name is Curly?
302
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:45,029
Oh, here's an idea for a song.
303
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,406
"Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!
I Just Stepped in Cow Shit!"
304
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,492
[MIMICKING THE THREE STOOGES]
305
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,995
[CHUCKLES] I mean, am I bitter?
306
00:15:54,747 --> 00:15:57,333
We write together for a quarter a century,
307
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,878
and the first show
he writes with someone else
308
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,006
is gonna be the biggest hit he ever had.
Am I bitter?
309
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,758
-Larry...
-HART: Fuck yes.
310
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:09,470
But I need to tell you about Elizabeth.
311
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:10,846
I need to cleanse my heart.
312
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:12,348
Here we go. The 20-year-old...
313
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:14,433
[EXHALES] She's going to come in here
any second.
314
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,311
Uh, Rodgers is gonna
be here tonight, right?
315
00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:20,481
-HART: Don't worry, I'll introduce you.
-Oh, that'd be great.
316
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,191
I'm trying to get somebody
to listen to my songs.
317
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,568
Well, listen and learn.
318
00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:27,822
I'm telling you about Elizabeth.
319
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,991
There's something appealingly...
320
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,161
ethereal about her face.
321
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:35,496
What the fuck does that mean?
322
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,207
Look, I got her all these presents.
323
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,418
You bought her something from Klein's?
324
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:42,253
[CHUCKLES] She's gonna love this.
325
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,796
Yeah, but that's used shit.
What are you doing?
326
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,214
HART: This is an authentic
first-edition.
327
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,133
You don't understand the magic
328
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,384
and the mystery of this girl.
329
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:51,721
"I have been waiting for this
my whole life."
330
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:54,890
It's what Somerset Maugham
says in that thing, you remember?
331
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:57,685
-Me?
-HART: Yeah.
332
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:01,605
"There's always one who loves
and one who lets himself be loved."
333
00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:03,858
That's the truth, isn't it?
334
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,109
Of course, you know you're in trouble
335
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,610
when you're looking
for the meaning of life
336
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,196
in a book with the word "bondage"
in the title.
337
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,949
Larry... [EXHALES]
338
00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:16,036
She's a girl. Right?
339
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,914
Okay. See, I always thought
that your interests went more towards...
340
00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:21,624
HART: My interests?
341
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,754
So now you're going to analyze me?
342
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,214
Thank you, Doctor Bacardi.
343
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,509
Look, I met her at rehearsals
for By Jupiter.
344
00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:31,761
And she's not an actress.
345
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,555
She's a college student. Sophomore.
346
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:37,558
Yale. Not the general school,
that's for the guys.
347
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,811
This is the School of Fine Arts!
348
00:17:40,895 --> 00:17:44,356
Bohemian goddesses in gray smocks
349
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,818
mixing paint in morning light.
[CHUCKLES]
350
00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,862
She's all of 20 years old.
351
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:51,530
And you're what?
352
00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:53,240
A youthful 47!
353
00:17:53,324 --> 00:17:55,284
[BOTH LAUGHING]
354
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,994
You know what I call her in my letters?
355
00:17:57,078 --> 00:18:00,331
"My irreplaceable Elizabeth!"
Can you believe it?
356
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,958
If I could write what's in my heart
this second,
357
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:05,920
I would have the entire audience
levitating.
358
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:08,005
Oklahoma! would close in shame
359
00:18:08,089 --> 00:18:10,800
if it could hear eight bars
of what's in my heart.
360
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:13,135
And I've been in eight bars tonight,
so I know what I'm talking about.
361
00:18:13,219 --> 00:18:14,470
[BANGS COUNTER] Go!
362
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,307
Last summer, I found myself awake
at 4:30 in the morning.
363
00:18:18,391 --> 00:18:20,267
And all I had done
the previous five hours...
364
00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:23,396
What the hell
are you lookin' at your watch for?
365
00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:26,482
-Larry, I'm working here.
-What the hell do you think I'm doing?
366
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,526
And I'm not even getting paid. All right.
367
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,155
TROY: More flowers...
368
00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:34,824
HART: Oh. Eddie, get Sven another drink!
369
00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,325
...for Richard Rodgers.
370
00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,452
Jesus, how much did those cost?
371
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:41,038
Sixteen dollars. Plus delivery.
372
00:18:42,665 --> 00:18:45,835
"Dick, I've got a beautiful feeling,
everything's going your way.
373
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,169
"Love, Dorothy."
374
00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:48,838
She's quoting Oscar?
375
00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:59,932
I write with her husband for 24 years,
376
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,017
and she's quoting Oscar?
377
00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:05,730
91st on the Park, The Ardsley.
We'll be going late.
378
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:07,732
All right. Well, thanks again, fellas.
379
00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:10,943
[DOOR OPENS]
380
00:19:11,819 --> 00:19:12,820
WOMAN: Good evening.
381
00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,951
[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]
382
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,002
Indulge me for one second.
383
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,546
Let me recreate for you, Elizabeth.
384
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,923
Enough! Did you screw her or not?
385
00:19:33,424 --> 00:19:36,594
Show some class, Eddie.
Knuckles, may I speak with you?
386
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:37,970
Oh, sure, yeah.
387
00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:40,097
[SMACKS LIPS] So,
did you screw her or not?
388
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,146
Elizabeth!
389
00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:49,190
Larry!
390
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:51,692
My irreplaceable Elizabeth!
391
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:52,985
I'm so happy to see you.
392
00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:54,236
-[KISSES]
-Ah...
393
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,781
-Do you like the hair?
-HART: I love it.
394
00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:59,116
-It's much better than the red.
-I think so.
395
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,953
I mean, I liked the red, too.
But this is much more other-worldly.
396
00:20:03,037 --> 00:20:04,246
I have to go set up for the party.
397
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,457
No, no, no. I got you some flowers!
398
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,833
Aww.
399
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:10,586
-I'm overwhelmed.
-Well, I have that effect on people.
400
00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,047
-I have so much to tell you.
-HART: Like what?
401
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,800
-I've been writing in my journal again.
-HART: I hope you let me read it.
402
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,676
No, no, no, no. The big one.
403
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:22,723
And these are what
Richard Rodgers is getting?
404
00:20:24,058 --> 00:20:27,103
Larry, my mother would die
if she saw this.
405
00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:29,397
-With your permission.
-Permission granted.
406
00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:34,235
-That guy I told you about?
-HART: Cooper?
407
00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:36,987
-It finally happened.
-No!
408
00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:38,322
ELIZABETH: Yes.
409
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:43,035
On my birthday.
The night of my 20th birthday.
410
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,329
Pretty dramatic actually.
You could write a play about it.
411
00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:47,415
A musical. He Has Risen.
412
00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:50,042
-ELIZABETH: Larry... [CHUCKLES]
-It's an Easter musical!
413
00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:51,544
It's very religious!
414
00:20:52,962 --> 00:20:54,880
Let me clarify by saying
it almost happened.
415
00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:56,173
Clarify immediately!
416
00:20:56,257 --> 00:20:58,467
-I'm gonna tell you the whole story later.
-No, no, I demand
417
00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:00,720
to know the shorthand version now.
418
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,264
-The shorthand version? Okay.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.
419
00:21:05,391 --> 00:21:07,810
The skin on his back was flawless.
420
00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:09,353
Gotta run.
421
00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:13,274
You're going to introduce me
to Richard Rodgers, right?
422
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,358
Before the evening is over,
423
00:21:14,442 --> 00:21:16,652
you're going to get a huge handful
of Dick.
424
00:21:16,736 --> 00:21:18,571
Larry! You're so vulgar!
425
00:21:20,156 --> 00:21:22,408
[CHUCKLES] Handful of Dick, that's funny.
426
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,617
-Hey...
-HART: Hmm.
427
00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,497
I'm writing an entire musical about her.
428
00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:32,376
It's inspired by those Frank Capra
war pictures Why We Fight.
429
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:33,711
This one will be called
430
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,547
Why We Fuck.
431
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,341
And the big ballad at the end will be
432
00:21:39,425 --> 00:21:42,136
The Skin On His Back Was Flawless.
433
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:43,054
[CHUCKLES]
434
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,140
Of course, when you're 20,
435
00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:49,477
what other commodity do you have
to trade in on except your body?
436
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,854
You haven't done anything, right?
437
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:56,275
Can you imagine what Elizabeth would write
if she saw my back?
438
00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,528
"The skin on his back
439
00:21:59,612 --> 00:22:02,948
"looked like a white bed sheet
someone had thrown-up on.
440
00:22:03,032 --> 00:22:07,078
"His pecker looked like the horn
of a retarded unicorn."
441
00:22:07,745 --> 00:22:08,579
[EDDIE TUTTING]
442
00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:11,749
Just one...
443
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:15,002
to get me through congratulating him.
444
00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:16,337
Larry.
445
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:22,718
To the skin on her back
like every other part of her,
446
00:22:22,802 --> 00:22:24,387
flawless.
447
00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:28,641
Wow.
448
00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:34,188
How can so much pleasure be compressed
into so small a container?
449
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,483
That's it. Absolutely no more. Agreed?
450
00:22:38,484 --> 00:22:40,069
[MORTY PLAYING IT AIN'T
NECESSARILY SO ON PIANO]
451
00:22:41,821 --> 00:22:43,280
[HART SCOFFS]
452
00:22:43,364 --> 00:22:45,241
God! I miss Gershwin.
453
00:22:49,286 --> 00:22:53,916
I bet I saw Porgy and Bess more times
than any other person in this city.
454
00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,918
Best line in Porgy,
455
00:22:56,001 --> 00:22:59,922
"When Gawd made cripple,
He mean him to be lonely."
456
00:23:02,717 --> 00:23:04,927
Did you ever think
your entire life is a play...
457
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:06,595
-HART: Hmm.
-...and that, you know,
458
00:23:06,679 --> 00:23:08,180
99% of the people in it,
459
00:23:08,264 --> 00:23:09,682
they got no lines, you know?
460
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:12,351
They're just like extras.
461
00:23:12,435 --> 00:23:17,022
And you,
you're just an extra in their play.
462
00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:19,567
Deep. Very deep.
463
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,527
-I got thoughts, too, you know.
-Really?
464
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,862
I thought you were just an extra.
465
00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:25,406
Will somebody get these fucking flowers
off my bar?
466
00:23:25,948 --> 00:23:26,949
MAN: Okay!
467
00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:29,201
[EDDIE WHISTLES]
468
00:23:30,536 --> 00:23:32,371
You've got to see her as I did.
469
00:23:33,289 --> 00:23:35,916
-I just seen her.
-HART: No, the first time.
470
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,668
If you can't see that,
471
00:23:37,752 --> 00:23:40,796
you can't understand
what this whole night is about.
472
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,465
I'm beginning to think
you didn't screw her.
473
00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:46,343
I want to practice this trick on you
before I do it for her.
474
00:23:46,427 --> 00:23:48,012
And I'm not showing it to her as a trick.
475
00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:52,266
I'm showing it to her
as an experiment to prove
476
00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:54,727
there's an extra-sensory link
between us.
477
00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,437
She believes in all that horseshit,
you know,
478
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,647
talking for 20 minutes
about psychokinesis.
479
00:23:58,731 --> 00:24:00,441
I don't understand a fucking word
she's saying.
480
00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:02,651
I'm sitting there, nodding, thinking,
481
00:24:02,735 --> 00:24:05,321
"Is she really wearing
a grape-colored brassiere?"
482
00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,822
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
483
00:24:08,032 --> 00:24:11,077
And later, I'm going to teach you boys
my own card game.
484
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,996
-Cocksucker's Rummy!
-Larry, language.
485
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,956
Ooh, you're offended
by the word "cocksucker"?
486
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,209
All right, I won't use it.
I give you my word
487
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,668
-as a cocksucker.
-[EDDIE CHUCKLES]
488
00:24:19,752 --> 00:24:23,381
But let me tell you
about the first time I saw her.
489
00:24:23,464 --> 00:24:25,091
I think I'd rather see the card trick.
490
00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,592
Me, too.
491
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:29,512
You know what the sexiest thing
on the planet earth is?
492
00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:32,098
A half-erect penis.
493
00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:34,016
Jesus Christ, Larry,
nobody wants to hear this.
494
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:35,184
I'm not talking to you.
495
00:24:35,267 --> 00:24:36,519
-Who you talking to?
-HART: Me.
496
00:24:36,602 --> 00:24:38,646
I got to talk to somebody interesting.
I mean it, though.
497
00:24:38,729 --> 00:24:41,107
A half-erect penis is a promise.
498
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:44,235
A fully-erect penis
is an exclamation point.
499
00:24:44,318 --> 00:24:47,822
As a writer, it offends me.
It's too loud, it's too adolescent.
500
00:24:47,905 --> 00:24:49,323
The story's already over.
501
00:24:49,407 --> 00:24:53,994
But a half-erect penis,
is it going or is it coming?
502
00:24:54,078 --> 00:24:55,413
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-[HART SHUFFLES CARDS]
503
00:24:55,496 --> 00:24:56,622
[HART TAPS CARDS ON TABLE]
504
00:24:56,705 --> 00:25:01,293
But women appeal to me precisely
for their absence of penises.
505
00:25:01,377 --> 00:25:02,378
Me, too.
506
00:25:02,962 --> 00:25:06,924
Oh, they live in a much more interesting
emotional landscape than we do.
507
00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:09,677
A landscape we can only dream about.
508
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,680
But this evening
is not about landscapes.
509
00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:15,808
It's a portrait of Elizabeth,
and only Elizabeth.
510
00:25:15,891 --> 00:25:16,934
Here we fucking go again.
511
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,728
HART: Wait, you saw
that she was beautiful, right?
512
00:25:18,811 --> 00:25:22,773
I mean, if not classically beautiful,
then, what's the right word...
513
00:25:25,735 --> 00:25:26,777
Nice tits.
514
00:25:27,695 --> 00:25:31,198
Small but very inviting.
515
00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:32,283
[LAUGHS]
516
00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:33,951
I wish I could paint her.
517
00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:38,164
That seems to me the most intimate way
of looking at a person.
518
00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:39,749
At the same time, the least sentimental.
519
00:25:39,832 --> 00:25:42,626
To accurately reproduce
the planes of her face,
520
00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:45,838
the two tiny freckles on her left cheek.
521
00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:50,593
You look familiar.
I've seen your picture somewhere.
522
00:25:52,053 --> 00:25:53,054
You're a writer?
523
00:25:55,306 --> 00:25:58,059
Well, then you will appreciate this story.
524
00:25:58,142 --> 00:25:59,977
Because it concerns the...
525
00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:01,062
[HART EXHALES]
526
00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:04,398
Ineffable?
527
00:26:05,441 --> 00:26:07,318
That's the perfect word.
528
00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:10,029
Christ! You're E.B. White!
You're "Andy" White!
529
00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:10,988
[SPUTTERS]
530
00:26:12,323 --> 00:26:16,202
I cannot tell you
how much I enjoy your essays.
531
00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:18,662
Nothing has given me more pleasure.
532
00:26:18,746 --> 00:26:21,082
-I'm in love with your language.
-Thank you.
533
00:26:21,165 --> 00:26:22,374
I'm in love with your punctuation.
534
00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,043
You can't move a single comma. Am I right?
535
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:26,462
I mean, you're a musician, White.
536
00:26:26,545 --> 00:26:27,671
You're the musician.
537
00:26:27,755 --> 00:26:32,259
You know, you, above all people,
will appreciate this story.
538
00:26:32,343 --> 00:26:34,637
This girl, Elizabeth.
539
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,431
I... I can't do my act for her.
You know what I mean?
540
00:26:37,515 --> 00:26:40,476
She wouldn't be interested.
She never asks me about me.
541
00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:43,479
Never. And it isn't so much indifference,
I think,
542
00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:45,147
as much as we both recognize
543
00:26:45,231 --> 00:26:47,316
that she's legitimately
more interesting than I am.
544
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,110
And I genuinely mean that.
545
00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:51,028
Did you guys see her hair?
546
00:26:51,112 --> 00:26:54,782
That's what I first noticed when
she walked into the theater last July.
547
00:26:54,865 --> 00:26:57,910
It was as if she were breathing
different air than I was.
548
00:26:58,828 --> 00:27:01,080
-I like that.
-HART: I'm telling you, White,
549
00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:03,457
she would make a great musical!
550
00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:06,877
And not one goddamn corn stalk
in the whole show!
551
00:27:06,961 --> 00:27:09,714
And, hey, fellas, just for the record,
552
00:27:09,797 --> 00:27:13,050
"The corn is as high as an elephant's eye"
553
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:17,388
is the stupidest lyric in the history
of American songwriting.
554
00:27:17,471 --> 00:27:19,932
Yes, it makes perfect sense,
and, yes, it scans,
555
00:27:20,015 --> 00:27:23,978
but the image of an Oklahoma cornfield
556
00:27:24,061 --> 00:27:26,856
with a fucking elephant
standing in the middle of it?
557
00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:29,400
-I like elephants.
-Yeah, we all like elephants, Eddie.
558
00:27:29,483 --> 00:27:31,318
Look, Andy, I need you to see this.
559
00:27:31,402 --> 00:27:33,028
I'm listening to her talk,
560
00:27:33,112 --> 00:27:35,114
but I couldn't tell you
a single word she said
561
00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:37,158
'cause all I'm really thinking is,
562
00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:39,827
"Wait till you feel the warmth
of her glance,
563
00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:42,705
"pensive and sweet and wise."
564
00:27:42,788 --> 00:27:47,001
I was writing about her
when I wrote that lyric.
565
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:50,880
Three perfect words, in the perfect order.
566
00:27:51,547 --> 00:27:55,760
And, you tell me, what other lyricist
could've gotten away with "pensive"?
567
00:27:55,843 --> 00:27:56,844
What song was that?
568
00:27:57,511 --> 00:27:59,638
Just telling you,
when I'm good, I'm really good.
569
00:27:59,722 --> 00:28:02,183
Just the sound of it!
That's what a writer does.
570
00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:07,188
We wear our vulnerability like a cloak
for all the world to witness.
571
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:09,398
I like the word "cloak."
572
00:28:09,482 --> 00:28:11,358
That's 'cause it's an antique like us.
573
00:28:12,109 --> 00:28:13,444
Can I get you another drink?
574
00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:15,946
[INHALES DEEPLY]
575
00:28:16,030 --> 00:28:17,073
Sure. Why not?
576
00:28:17,156 --> 00:28:19,366
I can think of a thousand reasons why not,
577
00:28:19,450 --> 00:28:21,619
but they can't compete
with the reasons why.
578
00:28:21,702 --> 00:28:24,330
Eddie, pass the Lord
and praise the house physician!
579
00:28:24,413 --> 00:28:26,749
Another round! Just a little, just...
580
00:28:28,751 --> 00:28:32,463
You know what I loved in that essay
you wrote about Florida?
581
00:28:32,546 --> 00:28:33,547
That line.
582
00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:39,428
"The sea answers all questions
and always the same way...
583
00:28:39,512 --> 00:28:41,847
"'So soon?'" [EXHALES]
584
00:28:41,931 --> 00:28:43,349
Jesus.
585
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:47,228
To take a sound
and transform it into what?
586
00:28:48,354 --> 00:28:50,439
A sigh of eternity.
587
00:28:51,649 --> 00:28:53,109
My diminutive gift.
588
00:28:54,235 --> 00:28:59,740
To the poetry that pours down on us
from a thousand unexpected sources.
589
00:28:59,824 --> 00:29:01,158
To your poetry.
590
00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:02,993
HART: Hmm.
591
00:29:07,206 --> 00:29:10,126
Look, she's 20, I'm 47.
592
00:29:10,209 --> 00:29:13,087
Let's discuss this
like two sensible alcoholics. [CHUCKLES]
593
00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:16,966
It was in the beginning,
everything was exactly as it seemed.
594
00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:19,885
I was her mentor,
and I suppose I was, you know,
595
00:29:19,969 --> 00:29:22,304
the "grand old man" of the theater
in her eyes.
596
00:29:22,388 --> 00:29:25,057
I'm over at the Shubert
rehearsing By Jupiter,
597
00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:27,184
the show is a holy mess.
598
00:29:27,268 --> 00:29:29,478
And I'm having this debate
with Johnny Green
599
00:29:29,562 --> 00:29:31,272
about the lyrics
to Give My Regards to Broadway.
600
00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:35,609
I remember, as a kid,
falling in love with that song.
601
00:29:35,693 --> 00:29:38,612
[SINGING] Give my regards to old Broadway
602
00:29:38,696 --> 00:29:41,365
And say that I'll be there 'ere long
603
00:29:41,449 --> 00:29:44,326
I knew instantly, even as a kid,
604
00:29:44,410 --> 00:29:48,205
that what gave that line its speed,
its inevitability, was the inner rhyme.
605
00:29:48,289 --> 00:29:50,958
And not just the "there, 'ere."
But the other one. The "way, say."
606
00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:52,710
The line should logically be,
607
00:29:52,793 --> 00:29:55,546
"Give my regards to old Broadway
and tell them that I'll be there."
608
00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:58,215
But to change the verb to "say,"
609
00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:00,843
it made all the difference.
610
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:03,179
Knuckles, do you know any Cohan?
611
00:30:03,262 --> 00:30:04,847
[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
612
00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:08,893
[SINGING] Over there!
Over there!
613
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:12,813
Send the word, send the word
Over there
614
00:30:12,897 --> 00:30:17,401
That the Yanks are coming!
The Yanks are coming!
615
00:30:17,485 --> 00:30:21,363
The drum drum-drumming everywhere...
616
00:30:21,447 --> 00:30:25,409
We'll be over
We're coming over!
617
00:30:25,493 --> 00:30:30,247
And we won't come back
'till it's over, over there!
618
00:30:30,331 --> 00:30:32,500
You know what the Yanks really sang
in the Great War?
619
00:30:32,583 --> 00:30:35,795
"We won't come back.
We'll be buried over there!"
620
00:30:37,588 --> 00:30:38,839
And they were.
621
00:30:39,507 --> 00:30:43,511
Total number of deaths in the Great War,
37 million.
622
00:30:45,054 --> 00:30:49,308
I think maybe the adjective "great"
should never precede the word "war."
623
00:30:49,392 --> 00:30:51,227
-Amen to that.
-[EDDIE SCOFFS]
624
00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:54,355
What does God think
when he looks down on his creation
625
00:30:54,438 --> 00:30:56,524
and sees that under
the noblest of motives,
626
00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:59,443
we sent 37 million people to their grave?
627
00:30:59,527 --> 00:31:02,196
That's why it's raining all the time.
God is weeping.
628
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:04,990
Well, I'm a patriot. I am.
629
00:31:05,074 --> 00:31:07,118
I mean, you're a soldier. God bless you.
630
00:31:07,201 --> 00:31:09,662
But how many are going to die
this time around?
631
00:31:09,745 --> 00:31:11,580
Will we even be able
to put a number on it?
632
00:31:12,373 --> 00:31:15,042
I'm on leave. Taking care of my mother.
633
00:31:15,126 --> 00:31:16,752
She's more terrified than I am.
634
00:31:16,836 --> 00:31:18,045
HART: When do you ship out?
635
00:31:18,129 --> 00:31:21,382
In two weeks, they're sending me back
to that hotbed of enemy activity.
636
00:31:22,216 --> 00:31:23,551
Bradley Beach, New Jersey.
637
00:31:23,634 --> 00:31:25,469
I'm teaching Morse code
at the Hotel Grossman.
638
00:31:25,553 --> 00:31:29,765
Bradley Beach, where enemy agents
stroll the boardwalk
639
00:31:29,849 --> 00:31:33,102
disguised as elderly Jewish women in furs.
640
00:31:33,185 --> 00:31:34,186
I used to play hide the sausage
641
00:31:34,270 --> 00:31:36,063
-with a girl from Bradley Beach.
-[CHUCKLES]
642
00:31:36,147 --> 00:31:37,148
-Oh, yeah?
-[CHUCKLES]
643
00:31:37,732 --> 00:31:40,276
Did you read that piece
in Life about Guadalcanal?
644
00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:42,403
-HART: Mm-mm.
-How before the battle,
645
00:31:42,486 --> 00:31:44,488
the soldiers were skipping
silver dollars in the water
646
00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:45,823
instead of stones
647
00:31:46,282 --> 00:31:48,534
'cause they knew
they were never coming back.
648
00:31:51,704 --> 00:31:54,039
I couldn't enlist. My eyes.
649
00:31:54,123 --> 00:31:56,083
What's the matter? They open?
650
00:31:57,710 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaking of people
who are not coming back,
651
00:32:00,963 --> 00:32:02,465
I would like you to read this.
652
00:32:03,090 --> 00:32:04,717
It's from the By Jupiter playbill.
653
00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:12,391
Out loud!
654
00:32:17,313 --> 00:32:18,481
Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
655
00:32:18,564 --> 00:32:19,940
"Rodgers and Hart,
656
00:32:20,024 --> 00:32:21,942
"they're as different as a dachshund
and a dromedary.
657
00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:26,238
"One likes opera and home life,
the other goes for night clubs and people.
658
00:32:26,822 --> 00:32:28,407
"One is married and has two children,
659
00:32:28,491 --> 00:32:30,493
"the other is single
and supports bartenders."
660
00:32:30,576 --> 00:32:31,994
You're welcome, Eddie.
661
00:32:33,454 --> 00:32:35,915
ANDY: "The little fella,
that's Larry, smokes cigars,
662
00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,584
"big, black, small, brown, any kind.
663
00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:41,253
"While Dick, that's Rodgers,
only uses cigarettes.
664
00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:45,758
"One goes to bed about 4:30 every morning,
the other never dissipates."
665
00:32:45,841 --> 00:32:48,010
HART: Perfect verb, right?
ANDY: Mmm.
666
00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:51,305
"Despite their physical
and temperamental differences, however,
667
00:32:51,389 --> 00:32:54,016
"their intellects complement each other
like ham and eggs.
668
00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:57,645
"Their individual songs
number well over a thousand."
669
00:32:57,728 --> 00:32:58,729
A thousand songs?
670
00:32:59,647 --> 00:33:01,565
ANDY: "They disagree violently,
but they never fight,
671
00:33:01,649 --> 00:33:04,652
"and in the 20-odd years
they've been practicing their craft,
672
00:33:04,735 --> 00:33:06,821
"they have never worked with anyone
but each other..."
673
00:33:06,904 --> 00:33:07,905
Until now. [CHUCKLES]
674
00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:10,324
Impressive.
675
00:33:10,866 --> 00:33:12,201
I wrote it myself.
676
00:33:12,284 --> 00:33:16,372
And not one single mention
of Blue fucking Moon.
677
00:33:17,373 --> 00:33:21,502
I sent Elizabeth some of my sheet music.
No response. I don't get it.
678
00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:22,586
She's a bitch.
679
00:33:22,670 --> 00:33:25,214
HART: That's what they're gonna put
on my tombstone.
680
00:33:25,297 --> 00:33:28,592
-"She's a bitch"?
-"Lorenz Milton Hart.
681
00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:30,302
"He didn't get it."
682
00:33:30,386 --> 00:33:32,221
And people will come to my gravesite
and say, "You know what?
683
00:33:32,304 --> 00:33:34,598
-"I didn't get it either."
-I definitely didn't get it.
684
00:33:34,682 --> 00:33:37,935
-Hey, Larr, I get it!
-HART: So, listen.
685
00:33:38,018 --> 00:33:40,354
Elizabeth and I had a weekend.
686
00:33:40,438 --> 00:33:41,897
-We actually did.
-[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
687
00:33:41,981 --> 00:33:46,277
One passionate, transcendent weekend,
end of last summer
688
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:47,945
before she went back to Yale.
689
00:33:48,446 --> 00:33:54,368
It's the closest I've ever felt in my life
to pure selflessness.
690
00:33:54,452 --> 00:33:56,746
It was nuanced, it was deep.
691
00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:58,539
How deep exactly?
692
00:33:58,622 --> 00:34:01,041
Listen, clown. I met her,
693
00:34:01,125 --> 00:34:04,420
and the first thing I said to her was,
"Excuse me,
694
00:34:05,004 --> 00:34:08,299
"but you have the best style of anyone
in this theater."
695
00:34:08,381 --> 00:34:09,633
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS]
696
00:34:09,716 --> 00:34:11,676
I wish I had a photograph
of that moment.
697
00:34:11,761 --> 00:34:15,263
I wish I had a photograph
of every moment I've spent with her.
698
00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:16,265
[SUCKS TEETH]
699
00:34:16,348 --> 00:34:20,644
I'm having trouble getting this right.
I'm trying to pin down...
700
00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:23,897
Oh, Andy, help me. What's the right word?
701
00:34:24,607 --> 00:34:25,608
Enchantment?
702
00:34:25,691 --> 00:34:26,942
[SNAPS FINGERS]
703
00:34:27,026 --> 00:34:28,611
And you know how hard that is.
704
00:34:29,569 --> 00:34:33,073
I couldn't believe that it was me
she wanted to talk to.
705
00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:34,867
I kept looking around the theater,
706
00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:37,161
there must be somebody else
she's interested in.
707
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:40,623
But no! She's plunking herself down
in the theater seat right next to me,
708
00:34:40,705 --> 00:34:43,876
as close as modesty will allow.
709
00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:46,962
And my heart is actually racing.
710
00:34:47,046 --> 00:34:50,383
And I don't ever feel this way,
not for men or for women.
711
00:34:50,466 --> 00:34:55,303
But she's wearing this yellow sundress,
712
00:34:55,388 --> 00:34:58,057
and it is hot in the theater.
713
00:34:58,140 --> 00:35:00,101
And she's talking to me for hours.
714
00:35:00,184 --> 00:35:03,270
Bare leg draped over the armrest.
715
00:35:03,354 --> 00:35:05,815
And I know this sounds like
I'm some middle-aged putz
716
00:35:05,898 --> 00:35:07,358
with a crush on a pretty co-ed,
717
00:35:07,441 --> 00:35:09,318
and maybe that's what it is.
718
00:35:09,402 --> 00:35:10,569
But you know something?
719
00:35:11,153 --> 00:35:15,658
Maybe that's not what it is. [CHUCKLES]
720
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:18,744
Sometimes I feel... and don't laugh,
721
00:35:19,412 --> 00:35:23,916
after a lifetime of blindly colliding
into strangers,
722
00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:26,252
we've finally found a friend.
723
00:35:27,628 --> 00:35:29,839
Maybe that's the definition
of enchantment.
724
00:35:30,673 --> 00:35:34,051
One light-filled weekend!
725
00:35:34,135 --> 00:35:37,012
I've got to finish telling you this
before she comes back.
726
00:35:37,096 --> 00:35:38,514
Are you listening to me?
727
00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:40,307
Yeah, she got her legs draped over
the thing.
728
00:35:40,391 --> 00:35:43,018
It was as if all the love lyrics
I had ever written
729
00:35:43,102 --> 00:35:47,273
had, like, some sort of verbal ectoplasm,
suddenly taken human form.
730
00:35:47,356 --> 00:35:48,357
-Ecto what?
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
731
00:35:48,441 --> 00:35:49,442
That might be her mother.
732
00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:50,985
She cannot hear this.
733
00:35:52,069 --> 00:35:53,195
EDDIE: What about me?
734
00:35:53,279 --> 00:35:54,822
You're just an extra.
735
00:35:54,905 --> 00:35:56,407
Okay, but I still get paid, right?
736
00:35:56,490 --> 00:35:58,159
-HART: Absolutely.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
737
00:35:59,201 --> 00:36:01,787
It's important to me
that I nail this down.
738
00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:04,915
It was a boiling hot summer weekend,
739
00:36:04,999 --> 00:36:08,544
and I asked, with all the casualness
I could counterfeit,
740
00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:12,173
if she'd like to, you know,
escape the heat of the city,
741
00:36:12,256 --> 00:36:14,884
spend the weekend with me
on Lake Dunmore in Vermont.
742
00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:18,637
And without a moment's hesitation
she said,
743
00:36:18,721 --> 00:36:20,014
[IMITATES ELIZABETH]
"I'd love to, Larry."
744
00:36:20,097 --> 00:36:21,223
[LAUGHS]
745
00:36:21,307 --> 00:36:24,185
Oh, I'm telling you, Andy,
this is my type of girl.
746
00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,520
I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm babbling,
747
00:36:26,604 --> 00:36:31,984
but how else do you describe
the actual present tense
748
00:36:32,068 --> 00:36:33,569
of falling in love?
749
00:36:34,820 --> 00:36:36,030
Is that what this is?
750
00:36:37,156 --> 00:36:40,618
Maybe. I mean, I haven't done
anything wrong, okay?
751
00:36:40,701 --> 00:36:44,580
I haven't violated the Mann Act
or even the Middle-Aged Man Act.
752
00:36:44,663 --> 00:36:46,540
I bought her this painting
of Lake Dunmore,
753
00:36:46,624 --> 00:36:48,459
bought it off this old salt Vermonter.
754
00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:51,420
I bought it so that she might remember.
755
00:36:51,504 --> 00:36:53,464
I once did a little canoeing
up around there.
756
00:36:54,173 --> 00:36:55,800
-Hey, Larry!
-[CHUCKLES]
757
00:36:58,594 --> 00:36:59,678
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
758
00:36:59,762 --> 00:37:00,763
And then?
759
00:37:01,639 --> 00:37:04,517
Act Three. Later that day,
760
00:37:05,226 --> 00:37:06,936
she's in the warmth of the cabin.
761
00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:10,314
There's a pennant from Fort Ticonderoga
pinned to the wall.
762
00:37:10,398 --> 00:37:14,985
She's wearing this blue men's work shirt
with the sleeves rolled up.
763
00:37:15,069 --> 00:37:18,781
All of her suddenly available to me,
764
00:37:18,864 --> 00:37:22,618
this gift of youth and brain
765
00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:24,328
and clavicle.
766
00:37:24,412 --> 00:37:26,664
I touched her shoulder,
767
00:37:27,832 --> 00:37:30,459
and as some hack once scribbled,
768
00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:32,420
"My heart stood still."
769
00:37:33,462 --> 00:37:36,424
She took my hand and said, "Larry,
770
00:37:37,091 --> 00:37:39,969
"let's save this for another day."
771
00:37:41,387 --> 00:37:43,097
And all I can tell you, my friend,
772
00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:49,019
is there is a real possibility
that tonight is "another day."
773
00:37:50,062 --> 00:37:52,064
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
774
00:37:53,607 --> 00:37:54,442
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
775
00:37:54,525 --> 00:37:57,778
WEEGEE: Clearing back a little bit.
Ladies, beautiful, beautiful!
776
00:37:57,862 --> 00:37:58,863
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
777
00:37:58,946 --> 00:38:01,615
Rodgers! Rodgers!
778
00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:03,284
Yeah, beautiful!
779
00:38:04,034 --> 00:38:05,035
Okay.
780
00:38:05,828 --> 00:38:06,829
-I appreciate that. Thanks.
-[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
781
00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:08,164
Hey, thank you so much.
782
00:38:08,247 --> 00:38:09,665
I appreciate it. Thank you.
783
00:38:09,749 --> 00:38:10,750
MAN: Bravo!
784
00:38:12,585 --> 00:38:14,754
-OSCAR: Thank you so much.
-[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
785
00:38:14,837 --> 00:38:17,673
Now, time for the real performance
of the evening.
786
00:38:25,347 --> 00:38:26,432
[BREATH TREMBLING]
787
00:38:26,515 --> 00:38:28,893
Eddie, Eddie. Eddie, get rid of this!
788
00:38:33,439 --> 00:38:34,690
Hey.
789
00:38:34,774 --> 00:38:36,025
So, did he fuck her or not?
790
00:38:36,108 --> 00:38:37,485
He thinks tonight might be the night.
791
00:38:37,568 --> 00:38:41,489
Oh... Larry. Larry, Larry.
792
00:38:42,156 --> 00:38:43,991
What do you think she sees in him?
793
00:38:44,533 --> 00:38:47,661
I think she sees a rich and famous guy
who can help her career.
794
00:38:48,996 --> 00:38:51,373
I think she recognizes she's being adored
795
00:38:51,457 --> 00:38:54,168
by one of the great appreciators
of beauty.
796
00:38:55,086 --> 00:38:57,213
-You know what else I think?
-ANDY: Yeah?
797
00:38:58,130 --> 00:39:00,383
I think she is wearing
a grape-colored brassiere.
798
00:39:00,466 --> 00:39:03,302
All right, Rodgers.
Gentlemen, please let's get one.
799
00:39:04,178 --> 00:39:06,639
Beautiful. Come on. All right, big smile!
800
00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:09,600
-Beautiful.
-Dick! Dick!
801
00:39:09,683 --> 00:39:13,354
My God!
The show is going to run 20 years!
802
00:39:13,437 --> 00:39:16,148
It's going to be bigger
than Abie's Irish Rose!
803
00:39:16,232 --> 00:39:18,984
-We'll see.
-And much more goyish, so it can tour.
804
00:39:19,068 --> 00:39:20,820
[CHUCKLES] Well, thanks for coming, Larry.
805
00:39:20,903 --> 00:39:22,446
-Oh, Oscar!
-Larry.
806
00:39:22,530 --> 00:39:25,282
You get taller
every time I see you. [LAUGHS]
807
00:39:25,366 --> 00:39:28,077
What can I say? The lyrics are brilliant.
808
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,705
Poetic when they need to be poetic,
funny when they need to be funny.
809
00:39:31,789 --> 00:39:35,126
Not a rhyme out of place, easy on the ear.
810
00:39:35,209 --> 00:39:38,254
[SINGING] I'm just a fool
when lights are low
811
00:39:38,337 --> 00:39:40,965
Perfect! [CLAPS AND LAUGHS]
Did you hear me applauding?
812
00:39:41,048 --> 00:39:43,092
I think you were the loudest person
in the entire theater!
813
00:39:43,175 --> 00:39:45,886
That's because I loved it more than
anyone else in the entire theater!
814
00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:47,888
-Let me get you boys a drink.
-RODGERS: Oh, no, thank you.
815
00:39:47,972 --> 00:39:50,099
-Um...
-Larry, you got two minutes?
816
00:39:50,182 --> 00:39:51,350
Give us a minute.
817
00:39:51,434 --> 00:39:52,601
Excuse us, Oscar.
818
00:39:57,815 --> 00:39:58,816
Um...
819
00:40:00,276 --> 00:40:01,527
So, uh, Dwight Wiman and I
820
00:40:01,610 --> 00:40:03,446
have been talking about bringing back
A Connecticut Yankee.
821
00:40:03,529 --> 00:40:04,530
HART: Terrific!
822
00:40:04,613 --> 00:40:07,158
Yeah, I'm thinking of asking
Vivienne Segal.
823
00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:10,161
Oh! Mein Gott! Oh, it's gonna run longer
than Oklahoma!
824
00:40:10,244 --> 00:40:11,871
I'll buy 50 seats myself.
825
00:40:11,954 --> 00:40:14,749
I've got a new title,
[IN SING-SONG VOICE] Ohh, Camelot!
826
00:40:14,832 --> 00:40:16,000
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
827
00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:17,918
Well, I think we're gonna stick with
A Connecticut Yankee.
828
00:40:18,002 --> 00:40:19,712
Camelot Exclamation Point?
829
00:40:19,795 --> 00:40:21,714
[CHUCKLES] Okay, come on.
I'm being serious here.
830
00:40:21,797 --> 00:40:24,216
I'm always serious.
That's why people find me so funny.
831
00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,011
So I was thinking, if you feel
up to working, then maybe...
832
00:40:27,094 --> 00:40:28,721
-I've never felt better in my life, Dick.
-Congratulations, Dick.
833
00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:32,224
I don't want to bother you.
I just... We all just loved it.
834
00:40:32,308 --> 00:40:33,559
-RODGERS: Oh, you did?
-It's going to be a big hit.
835
00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:34,852
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate that.
836
00:40:34,935 --> 00:40:36,353
-It's Gladys, right? Yes.
-Yes! Yeah.
837
00:40:36,437 --> 00:40:38,481
Yes, nice to see you. Um...
838
00:40:40,441 --> 00:40:43,861
Yeah, I was... I was thinking, um,
not just a revival,
839
00:40:43,944 --> 00:40:45,154
I was thinking a whole new book.
840
00:40:45,237 --> 00:40:47,740
We were thinking four or five new numbers.
841
00:40:48,741 --> 00:40:49,784
That I write?
842
00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:51,577
Of course, that you write.
That we write together.
843
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,080
It's been 16 years, you know that,
since we did that show?
844
00:40:54,163 --> 00:40:57,458
-It needs updating, don't you think?
-[LAUGHS] 1927! The Vanderbilt!
845
00:40:57,541 --> 00:40:59,960
Yeah, it can be the new
Rodgers and Hart show for the fall.
846
00:41:00,044 --> 00:41:02,129
-New gags, new songs.
-New references.
847
00:41:02,213 --> 00:41:04,090
[GASPS] We'll satirize the whole war.
848
00:41:04,173 --> 00:41:06,050
Rationing, rubber drives, nylon drives,
849
00:41:06,133 --> 00:41:08,052
a new number for Vivienne.
850
00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:09,178
-Go easy with the satire, Larry.
-Very nice job.
851
00:41:09,261 --> 00:41:10,304
-Hello, nice to see you.
-FAN: Very nice piece.
852
00:41:10,388 --> 00:41:11,389
Appreciate it. Thank you.
853
00:41:11,472 --> 00:41:14,183
[SINGING] There came a lull
then Cordell Hull sent orders from above
854
00:41:14,266 --> 00:41:17,978
I'm sorry, girls, put down your pearls
'Cause now we're rationing love
855
00:41:18,062 --> 00:41:19,480
And how do we get Cordell Hull
into Camelot?
856
00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:20,564
Who cares? It's funny!
857
00:41:20,648 --> 00:41:23,442
Dick! From the New York Journal-American.
858
00:41:23,526 --> 00:41:27,655
"As enchanting to the eye
as Richard Rodgers' music is to the ear."
859
00:41:27,738 --> 00:41:28,739
-Okay.
-Yeah, it's nice.
860
00:41:28,823 --> 00:41:29,907
That's good. Good start.
861
00:41:29,990 --> 00:41:31,992
So, uh, are you up for that?
Are you feeling healthy?
862
00:41:32,076 --> 00:41:33,661
Is that something
you could take seriously?
863
00:41:33,744 --> 00:41:36,455
Yeah. I'm on the wagon, Dick. I'm serious.
864
00:41:36,539 --> 00:41:39,458
[SPUTTERS] Been drinking ginger ale
all night.
865
00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:42,962
Well, except for this second
'cause this second we have to celebrate.
866
00:41:43,045 --> 00:41:46,090
This is the greatest musical
in the history of American theater.
867
00:41:46,173 --> 00:41:48,384
No, no. I'm not drinking with you, Larry.
868
00:41:48,467 --> 00:41:49,969
Okay, okay, all right.
869
00:41:50,052 --> 00:41:52,012
Weegee! Weegee! Shoot this!
870
00:41:53,264 --> 00:41:55,266
-What? Oh, no. Larry, I got to...
-No, no, no. Hey.
871
00:41:55,349 --> 00:41:57,435
Rodgers and Hart, together again!
872
00:41:58,060 --> 00:42:00,062
WEEGEE: All right, closer!
Come on, closer!
873
00:42:03,649 --> 00:42:04,859
I want ten copies of that.
874
00:42:04,942 --> 00:42:06,694
Great. Write me a check.
875
00:42:06,777 --> 00:42:08,112
Yeah.
876
00:42:08,195 --> 00:42:09,488
So, you... you think you're up to that?
877
00:42:09,572 --> 00:42:11,615
It's the best idea I've heard in 16 years.
878
00:42:11,699 --> 00:42:16,287
At the same time, I think we should be
dreaming about something completely new.
879
00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,413
Don't you agree?
880
00:42:17,496 --> 00:42:19,540
New Rodgers and Hart,
something people haven't seen before.
881
00:42:19,623 --> 00:42:20,624
Something big!
882
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,543
Let's start with the revival first.
883
00:42:22,626 --> 00:42:24,837
-Absolutely.
-We'll take it one step at a time...
884
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,255
-Yeah, but...
-...because I really think
885
00:42:26,338 --> 00:42:27,757
-Hear me out.
-...we can have a future together.
886
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,675
Who doesn't think that?
887
00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:34,972
But I want to be one of those composers
who works with, uh, you know,
888
00:42:35,056 --> 00:42:36,057
other lyricists.
889
00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:37,808
Like Arlen, Kern. You love Kern.
890
00:42:37,892 --> 00:42:39,435
I love Kern. I wanted to be Kern.
891
00:42:39,518 --> 00:42:41,187
But we have to work
like professionals, Larry.
892
00:42:41,270 --> 00:42:42,730
Since when haven't I worked
like a professional?
893
00:42:42,813 --> 00:42:45,649
I want to work at specific times
in the morning, at my office.
894
00:42:45,733 --> 00:42:48,194
-I want to adhere to a schedule.
-Yeah. That's what we do.
895
00:42:48,277 --> 00:42:49,779
I don't want to spend any more time
looking for you, Larry.
896
00:42:49,862 --> 00:42:51,447
-Well, I'm right here. Small as life!
-You know what I mean.
897
00:42:51,530 --> 00:42:52,948
I don't want to be calling up your mother
898
00:42:53,032 --> 00:42:54,408
at nine o'clock in the morning, so that,
899
00:42:54,492 --> 00:42:55,868
maybe, you might
roll out of bed at noon. Right?
900
00:42:55,951 --> 00:42:57,787
-Dick...
-I just don't want to do what we did.
901
00:42:57,870 --> 00:42:59,288
That's all I'm saying.
902
00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:00,831
It's a business, that's all.
903
00:43:01,665 --> 00:43:03,125
Maybe I shouldn't bring it up tonight,
but I don't know,
904
00:43:03,209 --> 00:43:04,835
-I wanted... I wanted to...
-All I want is to...
905
00:43:04,919 --> 00:43:06,504
FAN 1: That was your best one yet.
906
00:43:06,587 --> 00:43:08,130
-Really.
-All right, thank you.
907
00:43:08,214 --> 00:43:09,548
-Who is that?
-All I want is to write a show
908
00:43:09,632 --> 00:43:10,800
we both love.
909
00:43:13,136 --> 00:43:14,137
Yeah, I feel the same way.
910
00:43:14,221 --> 00:43:16,765
Dick! Burns Mantle just called it
911
00:43:16,848 --> 00:43:20,644
"The most thoroughly and attractively
American musical comedy
912
00:43:20,727 --> 00:43:21,728
"since Show Boat."
913
00:43:21,811 --> 00:43:22,938
-Since Show Boat?
-Yeah.
914
00:43:23,021 --> 00:43:24,898
Wow. That's good.
915
00:43:24,981 --> 00:43:26,900
-FAN 2: Truly spectacular.
-Thank you, nice to see you.
916
00:43:27,525 --> 00:43:29,319
I have to fall in love with a show, Dick.
917
00:43:29,402 --> 00:43:31,738
I have to want to write that show
more than anything in the world,
918
00:43:31,821 --> 00:43:35,617
to be in that audience,
sitting there not missing a single word.
919
00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,410
All right, well, we start with
A Connecticut Yankee,
920
00:43:37,494 --> 00:43:39,454
-four or five numbers, and we go...
-Okay, look.
921
00:43:39,537 --> 00:43:42,290
Here's what I'm thinking.
The Adventures of Marco Polo.
922
00:43:42,374 --> 00:43:44,501
Dick, Dick! Wonderful show.
923
00:43:44,584 --> 00:43:46,419
Oh, thank you so much. Nice to see you.
924
00:43:46,503 --> 00:43:49,005
Just... just big. Bigger than Jumbo. Epic.
925
00:43:49,089 --> 00:43:51,091
A three-ring musical circus.
926
00:43:51,174 --> 00:43:53,635
The show lasts four hours
with a dinner break!
927
00:43:53,718 --> 00:43:58,515
It's grand comic opera.
And the stage set is the world!
928
00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:01,059
-Uh-huh.
-We satirize everybody.
929
00:44:01,142 --> 00:44:03,144
And you get to satirize them musically.
930
00:44:03,228 --> 00:44:05,647
We send up every national musical cliche
there is.
931
00:44:05,730 --> 00:44:08,233
[IN FRENCH ACCENT] The France number,
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT] the Italian number,
932
00:44:08,316 --> 00:44:10,235
[IN DEEP VOICE] when they get
to the Heart of Darkness,
933
00:44:10,318 --> 00:44:13,071
the cannibals are doing Porgy and Bess.
Boom, boom.
934
00:44:13,154 --> 00:44:15,615
[SINGING] Bess, you is my dinner now!
935
00:44:15,699 --> 00:44:16,700
Jesus, Larry. Come on.
936
00:44:16,783 --> 00:44:19,578
[IN NORMAL VOICE] This show is going
to have the scope of a novel.
937
00:44:19,661 --> 00:44:23,123
It will be the greatest challenge
you've ever had as a composer.
938
00:44:23,206 --> 00:44:27,127
And what grounds it all,
what lets the audience enter this story
939
00:44:27,210 --> 00:44:28,211
is the girl.
940
00:44:28,295 --> 00:44:29,963
-Uh-huh.
-This ethereal girl
941
00:44:30,046 --> 00:44:32,132
whom Marco Polo has left behind.
942
00:44:32,215 --> 00:44:34,467
She's half his age... [CHUCKLES]
943
00:44:34,551 --> 00:44:39,472
...but it's the first time he's felt
that inkling of love in years, maybe ever.
944
00:44:39,556 --> 00:44:41,016
He swears in the first scene.
945
00:44:41,099 --> 00:44:43,143
We set this up like Benedick
in Much Ado...
946
00:44:43,226 --> 00:44:45,395
-Right.
-He swears that he's beyond
947
00:44:45,478 --> 00:44:47,606
the reach of any woman. He scorns love.
948
00:44:47,689 --> 00:44:49,608
And we do a whole number
satirizing love songs.
949
00:44:49,691 --> 00:44:53,445
No. Larry, I want to write shows
that have some emotional core to them...
950
00:44:53,528 --> 00:44:55,864
-Dick, great music. Great show!
-Hello, how are you?
951
00:44:55,947 --> 00:44:57,824
Thank you. I'll take that.
You're a tough critic.
952
00:44:57,908 --> 00:44:58,909
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
953
00:44:58,992 --> 00:45:02,120
Remember, we established
in the first scene that he's anti-love?
954
00:45:02,203 --> 00:45:04,664
Then he meets the girl.
She's a sort of free-spirit,
955
00:45:04,748 --> 00:45:08,460
Scandinavian-looking
with two freckles on her left cheek,
956
00:45:08,543 --> 00:45:10,128
-it's absurd. [LAUGHS]
-Don't do that.
957
00:45:10,212 --> 00:45:13,089
She lives socially,
psychologically, sexually
958
00:45:13,173 --> 00:45:17,010
in another universe than he does,
but he is slain.
959
00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:22,682
He stands there paralyzed
in the light of her pale green eyes.
960
00:45:22,766 --> 00:45:26,353
This is the greatest explorer
in the history of the world,
961
00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:30,941
and none of it means anything to him
unless it's a way to make her see him.
962
00:45:31,024 --> 00:45:34,653
[CHUCKLES] That is the emotional core
of the story.
963
00:45:34,736 --> 00:45:36,363
-Okay.
-We take this legendary,
964
00:45:36,446 --> 00:45:37,572
larger-than-life man,
965
00:45:37,656 --> 00:45:39,199
and we make him bleed.
966
00:45:39,282 --> 00:45:43,578
Mr. Rodgers, my name is Robert Heffner.
I'm the Mayor of Oklahoma City.
967
00:45:43,662 --> 00:45:45,538
Eve and I have traveled
all the way to New York
968
00:45:45,622 --> 00:45:46,831
-just to see the show.
-Okay. You know...
969
00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,084
Welcome to New York.
We're finishing a conversation.
970
00:45:49,167 --> 00:45:51,586
He'll be with you in two minutes.
Does that sound good?
971
00:45:51,670 --> 00:45:54,047
Two minutes, I'll be right with you.
Thank you, I hope it was worth it.
972
00:45:54,130 --> 00:45:56,341
-It certainly was.
-Good to see you. Thank you.
973
00:45:56,424 --> 00:45:58,009
All right, so come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
974
00:45:58,093 --> 00:46:00,762
And they end up together? Come on.
975
00:46:01,763 --> 00:46:04,724
That's what the audience
is waiting around to find out!
976
00:46:04,808 --> 00:46:06,518
That's the engine
that's driving the whole story.
977
00:46:06,601 --> 00:46:07,936
All right, well, look, Larry,
978
00:46:08,019 --> 00:46:09,354
if you're willing to write it,
979
00:46:09,437 --> 00:46:11,356
really write it,
and rewrite it, and rewrite it again,
980
00:46:11,439 --> 00:46:12,732
then, you know, it could work.
981
00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:15,277
But I'm not gonna beg you for this, Larry.
You know?
982
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:16,403
We work for 15 minutes,
983
00:46:16,486 --> 00:46:17,779
you're out the door
looking for a cigar store.
984
00:46:17,862 --> 00:46:18,905
-It drives me...
-[LAUGHING] Okay.
985
00:46:18,989 --> 00:46:20,407
It drives me really crazy.
I don't like it.
986
00:46:20,490 --> 00:46:22,576
-I don't want to do it anymore.
-We've worked like that for 24 years.
987
00:46:22,659 --> 00:46:23,660
Congratulations, Dick!
988
00:46:23,743 --> 00:46:24,828
That's exactly what we've done
for 24 years.
989
00:46:24,911 --> 00:46:26,496
-Thank you.
-About time the Guild had a goddamned hit.
990
00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:28,456
Yeah. You're absolutely, absolutely right.
991
00:46:28,540 --> 00:46:30,625
Anyway, I'm not going to...
I'm not going to fight with you, Larry.
992
00:46:30,709 --> 00:46:32,627
-Who's fighting?
-I don't know.
993
00:46:32,711 --> 00:46:33,712
With a war on,
994
00:46:33,795 --> 00:46:36,715
do audiences really want to watch
cannibals singing Porgy and Bess?
995
00:46:36,798 --> 00:46:38,550
And what do audiences want to watch?
996
00:46:38,633 --> 00:46:41,386
Cowboys a-whoopin'-it-up
at the box social?
997
00:46:41,469 --> 00:46:42,846
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
998
00:46:42,929 --> 00:46:44,514
Well, yes. Apparently.
999
00:46:44,598 --> 00:46:45,849
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
1000
00:46:45,932 --> 00:46:49,269
Oklahoma, exclamation point,
addresses the urgency of a nation at war.
1001
00:46:49,352 --> 00:46:52,606
I think every serviceman
in that audience tonight
1002
00:46:52,689 --> 00:46:53,940
thought about what we're fighting for,
1003
00:46:54,024 --> 00:46:55,692
even for a second or two,
he thought about it.
1004
00:46:55,775 --> 00:46:57,360
And what is it we're fighting for,
exactly?
1005
00:46:57,444 --> 00:47:00,447
Feisty little girls in gingham dresses
who can't say no?
1006
00:47:00,530 --> 00:47:01,781
[HART LAUGHS]
1007
00:47:01,865 --> 00:47:04,200
-Okay. All right.
-Dick, Dick, Dick. Come on.
1008
00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:06,411
Just between you and me,
1009
00:47:06,494 --> 00:47:09,873
those characters are unrecognizable
as human beings.
1010
00:47:09,956 --> 00:47:12,208
I think plenty of people recognized them.
They recognized love.
1011
00:47:12,292 --> 00:47:13,710
He needs rescuing, big time.
1012
00:47:13,793 --> 00:47:16,755
They recognized, uh, family.
They recognized pride in their country.
1013
00:47:16,838 --> 00:47:18,924
You're starting to sound like
Yankee Doodle Dandy.
1014
00:47:19,007 --> 00:47:21,009
I think there's significantly more there
to recognize, Larry,
1015
00:47:21,092 --> 00:47:22,469
than a bunch of singing cannibals.
1016
00:47:22,552 --> 00:47:24,304
But cannibals are much funnier,
admit it.
1017
00:47:24,387 --> 00:47:26,056
OSCAR: Dick, you want to come
and read these!
1018
00:47:26,139 --> 00:47:27,641
-Yeah, hang on! Hang on. Be right there.
-HART: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1019
00:47:27,724 --> 00:47:30,393
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I know exactly what you mean.
1020
00:47:30,477 --> 00:47:32,354
Just tell me... What do you
really want to write?
1021
00:47:32,437 --> 00:47:34,189
What's your dream show?
1022
00:47:34,272 --> 00:47:35,273
-My dream show?
-Yeah.
1023
00:47:35,357 --> 00:47:36,566
Oklahoma!
1024
00:47:39,986 --> 00:47:40,987
I mean, next.
1025
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:46,660
Uh... We're talking about
getting the rights to Liliom.
1026
00:47:48,078 --> 00:47:49,537
-The Molnár play?
-Yeah.
1027
00:47:49,621 --> 00:47:51,331
-That was cornball in 1909.
-Yeah?
1028
00:47:51,414 --> 00:47:53,541
You really want to write a musical
about a carnival barker
1029
00:47:53,625 --> 00:47:55,210
who beats up his girlfriend,
1030
00:47:55,293 --> 00:47:57,045
-dies, comes back...
-I think it'll work.
1031
00:47:57,128 --> 00:47:59,631
Yeah, and at the end, all the dead people
could take off their halos and go,
1032
00:47:59,714 --> 00:48:01,216
"Oh... Purgatory!"
1033
00:48:01,299 --> 00:48:03,552
[LAUGHS] Look,
I will do it if you force me to.
1034
00:48:03,635 --> 00:48:04,970
-It's just in my heart of...
-No, I'm not forcing you to.
1035
00:48:05,053 --> 00:48:06,263
Oscar's going to do it.
1036
00:48:08,515 --> 00:48:11,601
What does Oscar know
about turn-of-the-century Budapest?
1037
00:48:12,435 --> 00:48:14,563
He's going to Americanize it.
1038
00:48:15,355 --> 00:48:16,773
He's going to modernize it.
1039
00:48:17,649 --> 00:48:18,817
We're going to set it in Maine.
1040
00:48:19,401 --> 00:48:22,571
Maine? Right, with all due respect,
modernizing Molnár
1041
00:48:22,654 --> 00:48:24,489
-is a deeply...
-You got to read this!
1042
00:48:24,573 --> 00:48:25,574
Is it the Times?
1043
00:48:26,366 --> 00:48:28,618
Burton Rascoe's World-Telegram review.
1044
00:48:28,702 --> 00:48:29,744
-It's a rave.
-RODGERS: Good.
1045
00:48:29,828 --> 00:48:32,038
-We'll have the Times any moment.
-Okay.
1046
00:48:32,122 --> 00:48:33,915
Larry, I've got to go.
The Times is coming.
1047
00:48:33,999 --> 00:48:35,000
HART: Okay, okay.
1048
00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:37,168
-Wish me luck.
-Mazel tov!
1049
00:48:37,252 --> 00:48:38,420
As they say in Maine.
1050
00:48:39,588 --> 00:48:40,672
[HART CHUCKLES]
1051
00:48:40,755 --> 00:48:42,966
WOMAN: Hey, Dick. That was perfect.
RODGERS: Oh, thank you.
1052
00:48:43,049 --> 00:48:44,634
Nice to see you. Did you enjoy it?
1053
00:48:44,718 --> 00:48:46,428
[PLAYING PIANO]
1054
00:48:50,098 --> 00:48:51,766
[EXHALES]
1055
00:49:00,025 --> 00:49:04,070
What does Dick Rodgers know of Maine?
He was bar-mitzvahed for Christ's sake!
1056
00:49:04,154 --> 00:49:06,364
How long are they going to keep selling
that fairy tale?
1057
00:49:06,448 --> 00:49:09,284
"Have faith, have hope,
the dead will arise to comfort us!"
1058
00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:10,827
Like fuck they will.
1059
00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,496
Give me another shot, Eddie. A real one.
1060
00:49:14,623 --> 00:49:15,665
[MOUTHS]
1061
00:49:16,374 --> 00:49:18,585
Join me for a shot, Andy? Please.
1062
00:49:21,796 --> 00:49:22,797
[HART SIGHS]
1063
00:49:23,548 --> 00:49:24,883
How ya holding up?
1064
00:49:25,842 --> 00:49:29,262
HART: You know how in a marriage they say
"for better or for worse"?
1065
00:49:29,346 --> 00:49:32,974
I think in terms of my life,
I've entered the "for worse" part.
1066
00:49:33,058 --> 00:49:37,437
And it happened so quietly
I didn't even recognize it.
1067
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:38,730
Have you ever felt that way?
1068
00:49:39,606 --> 00:49:41,107
Every day of my life.
1069
00:49:43,401 --> 00:49:44,861
[SOFTLY] Thank you.
1070
00:49:44,945 --> 00:49:47,030
Sometimes I think,
"Even God is finished with me."
1071
00:49:47,113 --> 00:49:48,615
I've had my hits,
1072
00:49:48,698 --> 00:49:51,743
I've loved a small,
dear collection of people.
1073
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:53,703
And now he's turned the page.
1074
00:49:53,787 --> 00:49:55,872
[CHUCKLES] I feel superannuated.
1075
00:49:56,706 --> 00:49:59,251
"Superannuated."
That's a good thing, isn't it?
1076
00:49:59,334 --> 00:50:01,002
It means your dick doesn't work.
1077
00:50:02,754 --> 00:50:04,673
-Must be why I don't know that word.
-HART: Hmm.
1078
00:50:07,968 --> 00:50:09,344
Put me on the list.
1079
00:50:10,428 --> 00:50:11,471
[CHUCKLES]
1080
00:50:20,272 --> 00:50:22,440
You notice the birds
are back in Central Park?
1081
00:50:23,608 --> 00:50:26,361
Hmm. What are you working on these days?
1082
00:50:26,444 --> 00:50:27,988
Children's book.
1083
00:50:29,114 --> 00:50:31,116
Must have burned myself out
writing those essays,
1084
00:50:31,199 --> 00:50:32,200
it's not going well.
1085
00:50:33,243 --> 00:50:34,744
I think, as far as my writing goes,
1086
00:50:34,828 --> 00:50:36,580
I've also entered the "for worse" part.
1087
00:50:36,663 --> 00:50:38,832
HART: [CHUCKLES]
What's your story about?
1088
00:50:38,915 --> 00:50:40,250
I wish I knew.
1089
00:50:41,585 --> 00:50:43,336
The journey everybody takes?
1090
00:50:44,671 --> 00:50:48,133
Searching for what's perfect
and unattainable?
1091
00:50:48,884 --> 00:50:49,926
The ineffable!
1092
00:50:50,510 --> 00:50:53,555
Probably too elusive an idea
to put into a children's book.
1093
00:50:53,638 --> 00:50:55,015
I have a line for you.
1094
00:50:56,308 --> 00:50:59,978
"He chased her around the bed all night
before concluding
1095
00:51:00,061 --> 00:51:01,354
"she was ineffable."
1096
00:51:01,438 --> 00:51:03,064
Sure you don't mean "uneffable"?
1097
00:51:03,607 --> 00:51:05,442
[CLICKS TONGUE] Better.
1098
00:51:06,026 --> 00:51:07,402
[HART CHUCKLES]
1099
00:51:08,236 --> 00:51:09,529
You know, I'm in the park every morning,
1100
00:51:09,613 --> 00:51:11,990
liberating this mouse
I keep catching in my kitchen.
1101
00:51:12,073 --> 00:51:14,743
-Yeah?
-I have this little glass box
1102
00:51:14,826 --> 00:51:17,579
that captures the mouse
but doesn't kill him.
1103
00:51:17,662 --> 00:51:19,748
And every morning I walk into my kitchen,
1104
00:51:19,831 --> 00:51:21,958
and there he is,
at the bottom of the refrigerator.
1105
00:51:22,042 --> 00:51:25,879
My little brown mouse,
happily eating the cracker I left for him.
1106
00:51:25,962 --> 00:51:28,256
And every morning,
I carry him down to the park,
1107
00:51:28,340 --> 00:51:31,760
open the box. He leaps out ten feet,
scurries into the underbrush.
1108
00:51:31,843 --> 00:51:34,679
And then the next morning, I'll be damned,
1109
00:51:34,763 --> 00:51:36,848
he is back in the box!
1110
00:51:36,932 --> 00:51:38,516
How do you know it's the same mouse?
1111
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,601
Well, he certainly looks the same.
1112
00:51:39,684 --> 00:51:43,980
He has that same New York look
of doomed hopefulness.
1113
00:51:45,023 --> 00:51:48,151
But how does he get up the 19 floors?
1114
00:51:49,444 --> 00:51:50,820
Maybe he's tipping the doorman.
1115
00:51:50,904 --> 00:51:51,988
[HART CHUCKLES]
1116
00:51:53,573 --> 00:51:55,325
You know, this morning he wasn't there.
1117
00:51:55,992 --> 00:51:59,162
Just the cracker lying in the box.
1118
00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:02,165
I actually missed the little fella,
I really did.
1119
00:52:02,249 --> 00:52:04,459
I think I've started to identify with him.
1120
00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:06,336
Does he have a name?
1121
00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:09,089
I'm calling him Stuart.
1122
00:52:09,172 --> 00:52:11,258
-[CHUCKLES]
-With a "W" or a "U"?
1123
00:52:12,259 --> 00:52:16,888
Hmm. A "U." Nothing fancy.
Just a regular middle-class mouse.
1124
00:52:16,972 --> 00:52:18,974
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1125
00:52:20,725 --> 00:52:22,936
I think you'll have to excuse me.
1126
00:52:23,019 --> 00:52:26,231
All this jubilation
has gone to my bladder.
1127
00:52:29,359 --> 00:52:32,112
LANGNER: "Agnes de Mille
works small miracles
1128
00:52:32,195 --> 00:52:36,408
"and devising original dances
that fit the story and the tunes.
1129
00:52:36,491 --> 00:52:38,577
"Oklahoma! is fresh..."
1130
00:52:38,660 --> 00:52:40,787
-Okay, I got something funny.
-Hmm.
1131
00:52:40,870 --> 00:52:43,290
What do you call a tired homosexual?
1132
00:52:43,373 --> 00:52:45,292
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-I don't know.
1133
00:52:47,544 --> 00:52:48,753
Fuck, I forgot.
1134
00:52:49,546 --> 00:52:50,839
That's really funny.
1135
00:52:51,339 --> 00:52:52,215
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1136
00:52:52,966 --> 00:52:56,511
LANGNER: "The play's spine-tingling,
out of this world!"
1137
00:52:56,595 --> 00:52:58,430
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1138
00:53:01,474 --> 00:53:02,475
[TOILET FLUSHING]
1139
00:53:04,477 --> 00:53:07,939
HART: You know, when Atkinson wrote that
review for Pal Joey, you remember that?
1140
00:53:08,607 --> 00:53:10,775
"Drab and mirthless.
1141
00:53:10,859 --> 00:53:14,362
"Can one draw sweet water
from a foul well?"
1142
00:53:15,447 --> 00:53:18,700
I cried. [CHUCKLES] That's how hurt I was.
1143
00:53:18,783 --> 00:53:22,370
I cried in Vivienne Segal's arms.
1144
00:53:22,454 --> 00:53:23,872
She hugged me and said,
1145
00:53:23,955 --> 00:53:27,584
"History is going to prove him wrong,
darling."
1146
00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,502
Wasn't that
the sweetest thing in the world
1147
00:53:29,586 --> 00:53:30,754
for someone to say?
1148
00:53:32,172 --> 00:53:34,090
And she actually calls me "darling." Hmph.
1149
00:53:34,674 --> 00:53:36,051
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Wow.
1150
00:53:36,134 --> 00:53:37,385
Time magazine wrote,
1151
00:53:37,469 --> 00:53:39,596
"For those who can park their morals
in the lobby,
1152
00:53:39,679 --> 00:53:41,223
"Pal Joey is a wow."
1153
00:53:42,224 --> 00:53:44,684
What kind of piece-of-shit praise is that?
1154
00:53:46,478 --> 00:53:49,481
-[SNIFFLES] I'm talking about Pal Joey.
-Right.
1155
00:53:49,564 --> 00:53:50,690
I didn't see that one.
1156
00:53:51,316 --> 00:53:54,611
Wolcott Gibbs, he loved the show.
1157
00:53:55,195 --> 00:53:57,739
He said it was,
"A song and dance production
1158
00:53:57,822 --> 00:54:01,326
"with living three-dimensional figures,
1159
00:54:01,409 --> 00:54:04,913
"talking and behaving like human beings."
1160
00:54:04,996 --> 00:54:07,249
-Ah, see? There you go.
-Mmm-hmm.
1161
00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:10,669
You're still going to introduce me
to Rodgers tonight, right?
1162
00:54:10,752 --> 00:54:13,922
Urination for me
has turned into a two-act play
1163
00:54:14,005 --> 00:54:15,298
with a brief intermission.
1164
00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:17,092
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1165
00:54:18,843 --> 00:54:23,473
Oh, I love Vivienne. God help me. [LAUGHS]
1166
00:54:24,140 --> 00:54:25,600
Her compassion.
1167
00:54:26,601 --> 00:54:28,103
Oh, did I tell you she calls me "darling"?
1168
00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:31,398
We were up at the Starlight Roof.
1169
00:54:31,481 --> 00:54:36,570
I turned to her and I said,
"Vivienne, will you please marry me?"
1170
00:54:36,653 --> 00:54:39,364
That's what I told her. Right to her face.
1171
00:54:39,447 --> 00:54:43,034
Can you imagine having the courage
to say that to a woman?
1172
00:54:43,827 --> 00:54:46,079
I've never had the courage
to even dream of saying that.
1173
00:54:46,162 --> 00:54:47,664
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. It was a moment.
1174
00:54:47,747 --> 00:54:52,711
Let me tell you. 2:00 a.m., the band
was playing I've Heard That Song Before.
1175
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:56,464
She said, "I love you, darling,
1176
00:54:57,257 --> 00:54:58,758
"just not that way."
1177
00:55:01,052 --> 00:55:03,471
"Not that way."
1178
00:55:04,097 --> 00:55:06,725
Three little words.
1179
00:55:06,808 --> 00:55:10,353
Ten little letters that mean,
1180
00:55:11,104 --> 00:55:13,940
"Game over, schmuck." [LAUGHS]
1181
00:55:14,816 --> 00:55:17,611
Ah, "Think it over," I told her.
1182
00:55:17,694 --> 00:55:21,865
I took her hand in mine,
her nail polish was pale gray...
1183
00:55:21,948 --> 00:55:22,949
[DOOR CLOSES]
1184
00:55:27,662 --> 00:55:31,541
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-Now... I can drink.
1185
00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:34,544
[ALL CHEERING]
1186
00:55:34,628 --> 00:55:38,381
May I remind everybody what Mike Todd
said about Oklahoma! in New Haven,
1187
00:55:38,465 --> 00:55:41,760
-"No laughs, no tits, no chance"?
-[ALL LAUGHING]
1188
00:55:41,843 --> 00:55:45,096
We have a chance now.
All right, read that out. Okay, wow.
1189
00:55:45,889 --> 00:55:48,850
LANGNER: Wonderful. This is what
Nichols said in the Times.
1190
00:55:48,934 --> 00:55:51,353
"Wonderful is the nearest adjective,
1191
00:55:51,436 --> 00:55:53,396
"for this excursion of the Guild
1192
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:57,359
"combines a fresh and infectious gaiety,
a charm of manner,
1193
00:55:57,442 --> 00:55:59,819
"beautiful acting, dancing and singing,
1194
00:55:59,903 --> 00:56:04,324
"and a score by Richard Rodgers
which doesn't do any harm either,
1195
00:56:04,407 --> 00:56:06,868
"since it is one of his best.
1196
00:56:06,952 --> 00:56:08,954
[ALL CHEERING]
1197
00:56:12,249 --> 00:56:15,919
"Mr. Rodgers's scores never lack grace,
1198
00:56:16,002 --> 00:56:21,341
"but seldom have they been
so well-integrated as this for Oklahoma!
1199
00:56:21,424 --> 00:56:27,389
"He has turned out waltzes, love songs,
comic songs and a title number
1200
00:56:27,472 --> 00:56:30,850
"which the State in question
would do well to adopt
1201
00:56:30,934 --> 00:56:32,561
"as its anthem forthwith.
1202
00:56:32,644 --> 00:56:34,563
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1203
00:56:37,274 --> 00:56:41,236
"Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,
and People Will Say We're in Love
1204
00:56:41,319 --> 00:56:44,656
"are headed for countless jukeboxes
across the land.
1205
00:56:44,739 --> 00:56:46,741
[ALL CHEERING]
1206
00:56:47,909 --> 00:56:52,747
"And a dirge called 'Pore Jud',
in which the hero of the fable
1207
00:56:52,831 --> 00:56:55,917
"tries to persuade his rival
to hang himself
1208
00:56:56,001 --> 00:56:58,795
-is amazingly comic.
-[ALL LAUGHING]
1209
00:56:58,879 --> 00:57:03,466
"The Farmer and the Cowman
and The Surrey with the Fringe on the Top
1210
00:57:03,550 --> 00:57:09,639
"also deserve mention only because
they quite clearly approach perfection."
1211
00:57:09,723 --> 00:57:11,099
-[ALL APPLAUDING]
-Read that part again.
1212
00:57:12,809 --> 00:57:16,354
"...because they quite clearly
approach perfection."
1213
00:57:16,438 --> 00:57:18,023
Put that on the marquee!
1214
00:57:18,607 --> 00:57:21,234
"Quite clearly approaches perfection."
1215
00:57:21,318 --> 00:57:23,111
[ALL CHEERING]
1216
00:57:24,446 --> 00:57:28,491
Come on, everybody! Party upstairs!
Cake and champagne.
1217
00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:30,076
[ALL CHEERING]
1218
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:31,536
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
1219
00:57:31,620 --> 00:57:33,580
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1220
00:57:38,919 --> 00:57:41,379
Oh, Oscar! Bravo, bravo.
1221
00:57:41,463 --> 00:57:43,423
Congratulations. Oh...
[HESITATING]
1222
00:57:48,929 --> 00:57:50,430
Can I speak with you for a moment?
1223
00:57:50,513 --> 00:57:51,514
Can we talk later, Larry?
1224
00:57:51,598 --> 00:57:54,059
No, no, no. It's just a second.
I have something important to say.
1225
00:57:54,142 --> 00:57:55,977
Just a moment with the musical genius.
1226
00:57:56,061 --> 00:57:57,229
[HART CHUCKLES]
1227
00:57:58,730 --> 00:58:01,858
I just have one thing
I want to tell you, Dick.
1228
00:58:01,942 --> 00:58:06,071
Uh... Just one second, Dick.
It's important.
1229
00:58:06,696 --> 00:58:08,490
I remember when I first heard about you,
1230
00:58:08,573 --> 00:58:11,201
you were just Morty Rodger's
little brother.
1231
00:58:11,284 --> 00:58:13,286
-What, were you 17?
-16.
1232
00:58:13,370 --> 00:58:14,913
-Yeah, I was 23.
-Swell job.
1233
00:58:14,996 --> 00:58:16,456
Yeah, you were the wise old man
on the mountain.
1234
00:58:16,539 --> 00:58:18,667
But when I first heard you
play your stuff,
1235
00:58:18,750 --> 00:58:21,545
I knew you had it.
1236
00:58:21,628 --> 00:58:23,505
I wasn't entirely convinced that I had it,
1237
00:58:23,588 --> 00:58:26,049
but I heard something that afternoon.
1238
00:58:28,093 --> 00:58:31,346
Originality, melody, grace...
1239
00:58:32,806 --> 00:58:34,432
-Oh... [BREATH TREMBLING]
-[LAUGHS]
1240
00:58:34,516 --> 00:58:37,894
Come on. Come on, Larry. Stop it.
Come on, what's the matter with you?
1241
00:58:37,978 --> 00:58:41,773
You worked your whole life
for this night, Dick.
1242
00:58:41,856 --> 00:58:44,734
Nobody's worked harder.
And nobody deserves it more.
1243
00:58:44,818 --> 00:58:46,528
All right, thanks. Thanks, Larry.
Thank you.
1244
00:58:46,611 --> 00:58:49,155
All right, that's what I wanted...
Just go...
1245
00:58:49,239 --> 00:58:51,032
[SNIFFLES AND LAUGHS]
...enjoy your party.
1246
00:58:51,116 --> 00:58:52,826
-Hey, look at me. Look at me.
-Mmm-hmm?
1247
00:58:52,909 --> 00:58:55,161
We're going to do
A Connecticut Yankee, all new.
1248
00:58:55,245 --> 00:58:57,289
-Yeah, yeah.
-We're gonna write four or five new songs.
1249
00:58:57,372 --> 00:58:58,623
-I have ideas already.
-Right?
1250
00:58:58,707 --> 00:59:01,251
Yeah, yeah. And if I get some pages down
for Marco Polo,
1251
00:59:01,334 --> 00:59:02,335
can I send them over?
1252
00:59:03,753 --> 00:59:07,716
You have to ask me that?
Larry, I owe my professional life to you.
1253
00:59:11,344 --> 00:59:14,848
[SINGING] Summer journeys to Niagara
And to other places
1254
00:59:14,931 --> 00:59:17,726
Aggravate all our cares...
1255
00:59:17,809 --> 00:59:19,644
You remember we heard that on the radio
for the first time?
1256
00:59:19,728 --> 00:59:22,314
In your parents' living room.
Our first hit.
1257
00:59:22,397 --> 00:59:25,108
That was one of the most
astonishing moments of my life, Larry.
1258
00:59:25,191 --> 00:59:29,070
-I was 22.
-And I'm telling you, I swear to God,
1259
00:59:29,154 --> 00:59:31,573
our best work is still ahead of us.
1260
00:59:31,656 --> 00:59:33,658
Yes, the new Connecticut Yankee!
1261
00:59:33,742 --> 00:59:35,285
Yeah, yeah. And bigger stuff.
1262
00:59:35,368 --> 00:59:37,203
-MAN: Dick, get up here.
-All right. I'm coming!
1263
00:59:37,287 --> 00:59:39,664
I mean, Marco Polo is going to be
a show about joy...
1264
00:59:40,332 --> 00:59:44,085
but a hard-earned joy,
an unsentimental joy.
1265
00:59:44,961 --> 00:59:47,297
-Something wrong with sentimental?
-What? It's too easy.
1266
00:59:50,342 --> 00:59:52,093
-Oklahoma! is too easy?
-[SPUTTERS]
1267
00:59:52,844 --> 00:59:55,222
The guy actually getting the girl
at the end is too easy?
1268
00:59:55,305 --> 00:59:57,933
You've just eliminated
every successful musical comedy...
1269
00:59:58,016 --> 00:59:59,142
-[CHUCKLES]
-...ever written, Larry.
1270
00:59:59,226 --> 01:00:00,227
Then it's too easy for me.
1271
01:00:00,310 --> 01:00:01,645
Did you hear the audience tonight?
1272
01:00:02,270 --> 01:00:03,271
Yes.
1273
01:00:04,314 --> 01:00:06,691
Sixteen hundred people
didn't think it was too easy.
1274
01:00:06,775 --> 01:00:08,526
You're telling me 1,600 people are wrong?
1275
01:00:08,610 --> 01:00:09,986
I'm just saying...
1276
01:00:11,112 --> 01:00:17,118
that you and I can do something
so much more emotionally complicated.
1277
01:00:17,202 --> 01:00:19,329
We don't have to pander
to what audiences...
1278
01:00:19,412 --> 01:00:21,373
-Oscar and I are pandering?
-No. I didn't say that.
1279
01:00:21,456 --> 01:00:23,625
-Irving Berlin is pandering?
-I love Berlin.
1280
01:00:23,708 --> 01:00:26,378
-White Christmas is pandering?
-Well, I don't believe White Christmas.
1281
01:00:26,461 --> 01:00:28,463
-Okay.
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1282
01:00:28,547 --> 01:00:30,257
Well, maybe audiences have changed.
1283
01:00:30,340 --> 01:00:32,175
Well, they still want to laugh.
1284
01:00:32,259 --> 01:00:33,969
They want to laugh, but not in that way.
1285
01:00:34,052 --> 01:00:35,554
-Not in what way?
-In your way.
1286
01:00:36,638 --> 01:00:38,473
They want to laugh,
but they also want to cry a little.
1287
01:00:38,557 --> 01:00:41,393
They want to... they want to feel.
1288
01:00:41,476 --> 01:00:42,435
HART: Hmm.
1289
01:00:44,688 --> 01:00:46,439
You're my oldest friend.
1290
01:00:46,523 --> 01:00:49,276
-[SIGHS WEARILY]
-[HESITATING] You're...
1291
01:00:50,569 --> 01:00:52,445
-you're unique.
-Hmm.
1292
01:00:52,529 --> 01:00:54,030
Sounds like you're writing my obituary.
1293
01:00:55,031 --> 01:00:57,909
-I'm just saying.
-I'm right here, right now.
1294
01:00:57,993 --> 01:01:00,912
-Ready to work.
-Yeah?
1295
01:01:00,996 --> 01:01:02,247
HART: Hmm.
1296
01:01:02,330 --> 01:01:04,583
And you're willing to go
back to Doctors Hospital?
1297
01:01:05,709 --> 01:01:08,378
I don't need to go back
to Doctors Hospital,
1298
01:01:08,461 --> 01:01:11,631
and I don't need a psychiatrist either.
1299
01:01:11,715 --> 01:01:13,675
-Thank you very much.
-We were just trying to help you, Larry.
1300
01:01:13,758 --> 01:01:15,844
Who's we? You and Oscar? Help me?
1301
01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:17,345
Oscar? You think Oscar
had anything to do with it?
1302
01:01:17,429 --> 01:01:20,765
Oklahoma! is going to be the biggest hit
of your career.
1303
01:01:20,849 --> 01:01:23,143
-You don't know that. You don't know that.
-You got that asshole Kron
1304
01:01:23,226 --> 01:01:25,103
to manage my money.
Now I'm incapable...
1305
01:01:25,186 --> 01:01:26,897
I did that at the insistence
of your brother, Larry.
1306
01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:27,981
Teddy literally begged me...
1307
01:01:28,064 --> 01:01:30,233
Well, maybe you and Teddy
should write the lyrics.
1308
01:01:30,317 --> 01:01:31,860
I did write the lyrics.
1309
01:01:31,943 --> 01:01:32,861
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
1310
01:01:32,944 --> 01:01:34,070
What is that supposed to mean?
1311
01:01:34,154 --> 01:01:36,907
By Jupiter? Have you conveniently
blocked that out?
1312
01:01:36,990 --> 01:01:38,199
Blocked what out?
1313
01:01:38,283 --> 01:01:41,661
How Logan and I begged you
for extra choruses, extra verses,
1314
01:01:41,745 --> 01:01:44,831
and you were so drunk
that you didn't even show up.
1315
01:01:44,915 --> 01:01:46,666
So, yes, I had to write the lyrics.
1316
01:01:46,750 --> 01:01:49,544
-You didn't write one fucking word...
-How would you know?
1317
01:01:49,628 --> 01:01:51,254
-...of that show.
-How would you know, Larry?
1318
01:01:51,338 --> 01:01:53,048
You weren't around to even...
1319
01:01:53,131 --> 01:01:54,132
You know what?
1320
01:01:54,216 --> 01:01:56,176
I'm actually not going to argue
with you tonight,
1321
01:01:56,259 --> 01:01:57,302
-if that's all right with you.
-I like to argue.
1322
01:01:57,385 --> 01:01:59,137
Well I don't. I don't.
1323
01:01:59,221 --> 01:02:00,513
Look, I am sorry.
1324
01:02:01,556 --> 01:02:04,142
I don't care if somebody attacks me.
1325
01:02:04,226 --> 01:02:06,436
It doesn't mean anything to me.
1326
01:02:06,519 --> 01:02:10,315
But nobody can attack my work.
It is all I've got.
1327
01:02:10,398 --> 01:02:12,317
Your work is brilliant.
That's not the problem.
1328
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:18,698
Your work has been brilliant
since the day I met you.
1329
01:02:19,950 --> 01:02:21,284
Do you still remember that?
1330
01:02:22,369 --> 01:02:24,746
You, standing there in your
carpet slippers and your stripy bathrobe?
1331
01:02:24,829 --> 01:02:25,747
[HART CHUCKLES]
1332
01:02:26,665 --> 01:02:30,919
Yeah, with the five o'clock shadow
at 11:00 a.m.
1333
01:02:31,002 --> 01:02:33,338
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1334
01:02:33,421 --> 01:02:36,508
I'll remember that
till the last day of my life.
1335
01:02:39,344 --> 01:02:41,137
[INHALES DEEPLY] Okay.
1336
01:02:44,099 --> 01:02:45,308
[SIGHS]
1337
01:02:46,726 --> 01:02:47,727
[LAUGHS]
1338
01:02:48,311 --> 01:02:49,396
-Larry, I got to go upstairs.
-I know.
1339
01:02:49,479 --> 01:02:51,565
-The whole company's waiting.
-Of course. Of course.
1340
01:02:53,149 --> 01:02:54,651
Four or five songs, yes?
1341
01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,778
I'm telling you, I'm having ideas already!
1342
01:02:57,821 --> 01:02:59,823
A big comedy solo for Vivienne
1343
01:02:59,906 --> 01:03:03,618
about how she's killed off
every single one of her previous husbands.
1344
01:03:04,995 --> 01:03:05,996
Might be funny.
1345
01:03:06,079 --> 01:03:08,873
We can call it To Keep Our Love Alive!
1346
01:03:21,970 --> 01:03:22,929
[GIGGLES]
1347
01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:25,640
-You okay, Larry?
-Mmm-hmm.
1348
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:31,646
What happened to White?
1349
01:03:31,730 --> 01:03:34,065
-Left.
-"So soon?"
1350
01:03:34,608 --> 01:03:37,027
There was so much more
I wanted to say to him.
1351
01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:39,029
-Maybe he was an extra, too.
-[SIGHS SOFTLY]
1352
01:03:39,988 --> 01:03:41,031
One more?
1353
01:03:41,907 --> 01:03:42,991
Last one, Larry.
1354
01:03:45,076 --> 01:03:47,704
Do you know the ineffectual blues?
1355
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,125
That's because I haven't written it yet.
1356
01:03:52,208 --> 01:03:53,710
[CHUCKLES]
1357
01:03:55,003 --> 01:03:58,465
[SIGHS] They should put
my picture on that bottle.
1358
01:03:58,548 --> 01:04:02,594
"The Whiskey That Made
Lorenz Hart Unemployable."
1359
01:04:02,677 --> 01:04:04,554
[SCOFFS] "Buy War Bonds."
1360
01:04:09,684 --> 01:04:11,102
[EXHALES]
1361
01:04:11,186 --> 01:04:13,688
You know, I've started
to hear things wrong.
1362
01:04:13,772 --> 01:04:16,775
The other night,
I was listening to this singer go on
1363
01:04:16,858 --> 01:04:18,443
about "her cigarette heart."
1364
01:04:18,985 --> 01:04:21,905
And I thought,
"Now that is an original metaphor,
1365
01:04:21,988 --> 01:04:23,615
"'My cigarette heart.'"
1366
01:04:24,324 --> 01:04:26,785
Then I realized she was singing
"My secret heart."
1367
01:04:27,577 --> 01:04:30,455
I can't remember anything anymore either.
1368
01:04:30,538 --> 01:04:32,999
That should be the title
of my autobiography,
1369
01:04:33,083 --> 01:04:35,585
"Stop Me If I've Told You This Already."
1370
01:04:36,253 --> 01:04:39,130
And we'll print the entire text twice.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1371
01:04:45,595 --> 01:04:47,931
ELIZABETH: No, I'm serious.
I've seen her do it before.
1372
01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:50,850
GEORGE: As long as there's
no dancing later on in the night.
1373
01:04:51,393 --> 01:04:52,477
[CHUCKLING]
1374
01:04:52,561 --> 01:04:54,145
ELIZABETH: You better watch yourself...
1375
01:04:54,229 --> 01:04:57,065
My irreplaceable Elizabeth!
1376
01:04:57,148 --> 01:04:58,149
Larry!
1377
01:04:59,109 --> 01:05:00,944
-Do you like it?
-HART: It's...
1378
01:05:01,027 --> 01:05:02,988
Oscar Hammerstein just said I was a gem!
1379
01:05:03,655 --> 01:05:06,491
He has such a way with words.
1380
01:05:07,242 --> 01:05:09,160
George, this is Lorenz Hart.
1381
01:05:09,244 --> 01:05:11,538
I am legitimately honored to meet you.
1382
01:05:11,621 --> 01:05:15,083
Would you mind if I spoke to Elizabeth
alone for two minutes?
1383
01:05:15,166 --> 01:05:16,835
And then she's all yours.
1384
01:05:16,918 --> 01:05:18,086
It would be perfectly all right
1385
01:05:18,169 --> 01:05:20,964
as long as you promise me
your autograph before I go.
1386
01:05:21,047 --> 01:05:22,340
ELIZABETH: George is a senior at Yale.
1387
01:05:22,465 --> 01:05:24,968
He's studying music,
but he wants to be a director.
1388
01:05:25,093 --> 01:05:26,511
A director. Well, what's your name?
1389
01:05:26,595 --> 01:05:27,596
George Hill.
1390
01:05:27,679 --> 01:05:31,600
Here's my advice to you,
future director, George Hill.
1391
01:05:31,683 --> 01:05:32,934
Do you want my advice?
1392
01:05:33,018 --> 01:05:34,019
I'd be honored.
1393
01:05:35,103 --> 01:05:37,647
Be careful of love stories.
1394
01:05:38,398 --> 01:05:41,192
Think about friendship stories.
1395
01:05:41,276 --> 01:05:44,779
That's where
the really enduring stuff lives.
1396
01:05:45,864 --> 01:05:48,033
-Thank you. I'll remember that.
-HART: Hmm!
1397
01:05:51,202 --> 01:05:52,704
Catch up with you later, George.
1398
01:05:55,206 --> 01:05:56,583
My mother just gave me this.
1399
01:05:56,666 --> 01:05:58,335
I was really touched she gave it to me.
1400
01:05:59,461 --> 01:06:01,588
My well-tempered clavicle.
1401
01:06:01,671 --> 01:06:03,256
Careful. My mother...
1402
01:06:04,049 --> 01:06:05,634
[SOFTLY] Okay. All right...
1403
01:06:05,717 --> 01:06:10,013
Sorry. Now, I know your birthday
isn't until November 19th.
1404
01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:11,097
I'm a scorpion.
1405
01:06:11,181 --> 01:06:13,975
I never doubted that for a second.
1406
01:06:14,059 --> 01:06:16,269
Did you get the sheet music I sent you?
1407
01:06:16,353 --> 01:06:20,440
Ah, I was so busy with exams,
I put them away, honestly, and...
1408
01:06:20,523 --> 01:06:23,985
And then I kind of forgot about them.
But now I've got the time. I promise you.
1409
01:06:24,069 --> 01:06:25,570
I'm going to get a friend of mine
1410
01:06:25,654 --> 01:06:27,447
to play every single one
of those songs for me.
1411
01:06:27,530 --> 01:06:29,241
Take your time.
1412
01:06:29,324 --> 01:06:31,701
That's the wonderful thing
about art, isn't it?
1413
01:06:31,785 --> 01:06:32,911
It waits for you.
1414
01:06:33,912 --> 01:06:36,081
Thank you for all the letters
you wrote me.
1415
01:06:36,164 --> 01:06:37,958
I really enjoyed reading them.
1416
01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:41,086
My roommate couldn't believe I was
actually corresponding with Lorenz Hart.
1417
01:06:41,169 --> 01:06:43,838
I remember in Vermont,
you were drinking red wine.
1418
01:06:44,714 --> 01:06:47,759
Malbec. It's a big Yale drink.
1419
01:06:48,510 --> 01:06:52,055
You ask for the French Malbec,
and then you act
1420
01:06:52,138 --> 01:06:54,307
as if you can actually tell
which vineyard it came from.
1421
01:06:54,391 --> 01:06:55,976
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-Oh...
1422
01:06:56,768 --> 01:06:59,437
Don't mention Vermont
around my mother, okay?
1423
01:06:59,521 --> 01:07:01,273
She doesn't know anything
about our little getaway.
1424
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,359
Actually, thank goodness.
1425
01:07:04,442 --> 01:07:07,529
She doesn't know about 90%
of what's going on in my life.
1426
01:07:07,612 --> 01:07:10,198
Well, I feel privileged that I do.
1427
01:07:10,282 --> 01:07:12,492
Or that I did, back in August.
1428
01:07:13,410 --> 01:07:15,912
I've got much more stuff to
report on since then. [LAUGHS]
1429
01:07:15,996 --> 01:07:19,624
Well, tell me about the guys.
That's what I'm interested in.
1430
01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:24,462
[CLICKS TONGUE] Honestly,
I'm much smarter than most of them.
1431
01:07:24,546 --> 01:07:27,924
So I sort of sit back and watch them
trying to impress me.
1432
01:07:28,008 --> 01:07:29,509
It's pretty entertaining.
1433
01:07:29,593 --> 01:07:31,928
If I were a college guy,
I think I would be afraid of you.
1434
01:07:32,012 --> 01:07:35,056
This intelligent, mercilessly observant,
1435
01:07:35,140 --> 01:07:37,684
wickedly unsentimental beauty
sitting there,
1436
01:07:37,767 --> 01:07:40,729
evaluating me from somewhere
behind those green eyes,
1437
01:07:40,812 --> 01:07:42,439
annotating all my gaucheries.
1438
01:07:42,522 --> 01:07:44,399
My God, I would be terrified.
1439
01:07:44,482 --> 01:07:46,318
Hey, I'm not that intimidating.
1440
01:07:47,527 --> 01:07:49,946
Tell me more about this Cooper.
1441
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:53,366
This is embarrassing. [LAUGHS]
1442
01:07:53,450 --> 01:07:54,659
I love it when you're embarrassed,
1443
01:07:54,743 --> 01:07:57,537
you get this scarlet blush
that washes up over you,
1444
01:07:57,621 --> 01:07:59,748
and a second later it's gone.
1445
01:08:00,248 --> 01:08:02,417
This one might last considerably longer.
1446
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,544
-I'd love to...
-Elizabeth. Hello, Larry.
1447
01:08:04,628 --> 01:08:07,672
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything too weighty.
1448
01:08:07,756 --> 01:08:10,133
Well, weighty affairs will have to wait.
1449
01:08:10,884 --> 01:08:12,427
She's a gem, isn't she?
1450
01:08:12,510 --> 01:08:13,887
Please, Mr. Hammerstein.
1451
01:08:13,970 --> 01:08:15,722
I'll only bother you for a moment.
1452
01:08:15,805 --> 01:08:17,848
Larry, I just wanted to say...
1453
01:08:18,558 --> 01:08:21,645
Well, firstly, I recognize this must be
a difficult night for you.
1454
01:08:21,728 --> 01:08:25,147
No, I'm a professional, Oscar.
We're both professionals,
1455
01:08:25,232 --> 01:08:27,192
we understand the nature of our business.
1456
01:08:27,275 --> 01:08:31,612
Larry, did you really like the show?
I don't think I do the comedy numbers
1457
01:08:31,696 --> 01:08:33,865
half as well as you do.
They're not my strength.
1458
01:08:33,949 --> 01:08:37,869
I laughed my ass off.
I had to have it re-attached.
1459
01:08:37,953 --> 01:08:39,120
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1460
01:08:39,204 --> 01:08:41,748
Larry, we're the same age,
but you were always the teacher.
1461
01:08:41,830 --> 01:08:44,125
-No, Oscar. I...
-No, your whole career,
1462
01:08:44,209 --> 01:08:45,835
-you showed us the way.
-Well, I doubt...
1463
01:08:45,919 --> 01:08:47,462
You liberated us all.
1464
01:08:47,545 --> 01:08:51,049
You made American songs
finally sound like American speech.
1465
01:08:51,132 --> 01:08:53,759
Stop. I dislike eulogies,
especially my own.
1466
01:08:53,843 --> 01:08:56,054
Oscar, tonight is your night.
1467
01:08:56,679 --> 01:09:00,350
A hit for you and Dick
is a hit for all of us.
1468
01:09:00,433 --> 01:09:03,103
People finally want to go see shows again.
1469
01:09:03,186 --> 01:09:06,022
Real shows. Dick and I
were just tossing around a few ideas.
1470
01:09:06,106 --> 01:09:09,651
-Wonderful.
-Yeah, we have this idea for a big...
1471
01:09:10,735 --> 01:09:12,529
Marco Polo show... huge...
1472
01:09:12,612 --> 01:09:14,239
-Wow.
-...a kind of musical circus.
1473
01:09:14,322 --> 01:09:16,991
Dick's excited about it.
1474
01:09:17,075 --> 01:09:18,535
He said you're adapting Liliom.
1475
01:09:18,618 --> 01:09:20,328
Well, if we can finagle the rights.
1476
01:09:20,411 --> 01:09:21,413
Sounds exciting.
1477
01:09:21,538 --> 01:09:24,331
-Elizabeth told me she's your protégé.
-Stop.
1478
01:09:24,415 --> 01:09:29,087
"She's the promised kiss of springtime
that makes the lonely winter seem long."
1479
01:09:29,170 --> 01:09:30,170
Oh, please.
1480
01:09:30,255 --> 01:09:33,674
-You wrote a great lyric.
-For a show that didn't run three months.
1481
01:09:33,758 --> 01:09:35,844
-I saw it twice.
-You...
1482
01:09:35,927 --> 01:09:38,263
You know what
we're talking about here, Stevie?
1483
01:09:38,346 --> 01:09:40,682
Very Warm for May.
Produced by Max Gordon.
1484
01:09:40,764 --> 01:09:42,058
Music by Jerome Kern.
1485
01:09:42,142 --> 01:09:44,686
Alvin Theatre. 59 performances.
1486
01:09:44,768 --> 01:09:46,062
[BOTH LAUGH]
1487
01:09:46,146 --> 01:09:50,107
This is my neighbor. He's a kind of
a walking encyclopedia of musical theater.
1488
01:09:50,191 --> 01:09:52,986
Well, I'm a kind of walking pneumonia
for musical theater.
1489
01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:55,030
-Nice to meet you.
-Pleasure to meet you.
1490
01:09:55,113 --> 01:09:57,032
He wants to write musicals
when he grows up.
1491
01:09:57,115 --> 01:09:58,617
Who's your favorite lyricist?
1492
01:09:58,700 --> 01:09:59,784
-Oscar.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.
1493
01:10:00,535 --> 01:10:02,829
Of course.
And what do you think of my work?
1494
01:10:02,913 --> 01:10:04,456
I like it. It's funny.
1495
01:10:04,539 --> 01:10:05,624
Thank you.
1496
01:10:05,707 --> 01:10:07,000
Can be a little sloppy at times.
1497
01:10:07,876 --> 01:10:10,295
OSCAR: He's very tired.
It's been a long day.
1498
01:10:10,378 --> 01:10:13,465
Come on, Stevie.
It's a long ride back to Doylestown.
1499
01:10:13,548 --> 01:10:15,634
-You want to go to the bathroom?
-I'm not tired.
1500
01:10:15,717 --> 01:10:17,719
He asked me what I thought of his work.
1501
01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:20,013
"Weighty affairs will just have to wait"?
1502
01:10:20,096 --> 01:10:22,140
I so regret not having children.
1503
01:10:22,933 --> 01:10:25,268
-Cooper.
-[SIGHS]
1504
01:10:25,352 --> 01:10:27,437
-I can't believe I'm telling you this.
-Tell me.
1505
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,856
You have to remember,
I've had a hopeless crush on this guy
1506
01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:30,982
for over a year.
1507
01:10:31,066 --> 01:10:32,567
Hold this. Come here.
1508
01:10:33,735 --> 01:10:38,198
Renee, may I buy five minutes
of privacy, please?
1509
01:10:39,115 --> 01:10:40,533
{\an8}Anything for you, Larry.
1510
01:10:50,585 --> 01:10:51,711
Thank you.
1511
01:10:53,922 --> 01:10:56,967
Tell me what he looks like,
I'm trying to visualize him.
1512
01:10:57,884 --> 01:11:00,220
Apollo? Blue eyes. Tall.
1513
01:11:00,303 --> 01:11:02,514
So, basically, the skin on his back
1514
01:11:02,597 --> 01:11:04,140
-was flawless...
-[CLICKS TONGUE] Stop.
1515
01:11:04,224 --> 01:11:08,103
It's the night of your birthday.
Tell me everything.
1516
01:11:08,186 --> 01:11:11,856
-A group of my friends are taking...
-Boyfriends, girlfriends?
1517
01:11:12,482 --> 01:11:13,733
-Mixed.
-Okay.
1518
01:11:13,817 --> 01:11:16,111
Come on, Larry, I'm a college lady.
1519
01:11:16,194 --> 01:11:17,404
[CHUCKLES]
1520
01:11:17,487 --> 01:11:21,366
So they're taking me to Mory's,
which is technically no women allowed,
1521
01:11:21,950 --> 01:11:25,537
but they smuggle us up those backstairs
like so much heavily-scented contraband,
1522
01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:30,959
and, of course, one of the girls
has brought along her date.
1523
01:11:31,042 --> 01:11:32,043
Cooper?
1524
01:11:32,627 --> 01:11:36,256
Which is both destroying me
and exhilarating me.
1525
01:11:36,339 --> 01:11:40,051
I mean, he's there. Near me.
1526
01:11:42,095 --> 01:11:43,555
The evening is getting late,
1527
01:11:43,638 --> 01:11:45,640
empty wine bottles
are filling up the table.
1528
01:11:46,641 --> 01:11:48,727
Half of us are underage,
1529
01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:51,730
but we're flirting so shamelessly
with the waiter that nobody seems to care.
1530
01:11:51,813 --> 01:11:54,816
-Drinking your French Malbec.
-Exactly.
1531
01:11:55,525 --> 01:11:57,611
I'm nothing if not a good student.
1532
01:11:58,194 --> 01:12:01,865
That's why everybody loves you, Larry.
You're the best listener I ever met.
1533
01:12:01,948 --> 01:12:05,410
That's because I have absolutely
no interest in myself whatsoever.
1534
01:12:05,493 --> 01:12:07,746
Back to your tale of natal debauchery.
1535
01:12:07,829 --> 01:12:09,831
Empty wine bottles filling the table...
1536
01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:12,500
-So it's late.
-Mmm-hmm.
1537
01:12:13,043 --> 01:12:15,962
-And Marjorie...
-The girl who came with Cooper?
1538
01:12:16,838 --> 01:12:18,548
She's left to go home and study.
1539
01:12:18,632 --> 01:12:19,925
Aww...
1540
01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:22,260
People are staggering out one by one.
1541
01:12:23,094 --> 01:12:24,304
It's midnight.
1542
01:12:25,305 --> 01:12:27,849
And I find myself sitting
right next to him.
1543
01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:29,309
Take your time.
1544
01:12:30,060 --> 01:12:33,688
You know, there's no place else
on earth I'd rather be
1545
01:12:33,772 --> 01:12:36,316
than sitting right here with you.
1546
01:12:36,399 --> 01:12:38,652
Oh, did you get my letter?
There's a party at my place tonight.
1547
01:12:38,735 --> 01:12:40,904
Oh, I think I've got to stay here
and help my mother...
1548
01:12:40,987 --> 01:12:42,322
It's not getting started till late.
1549
01:12:42,405 --> 01:12:45,242
You'll have plenty of time
to work the room here.
1550
01:12:45,951 --> 01:12:49,621
I've got the Golden Gate Quartet
showing up. Promise me you'll come.
1551
01:12:49,704 --> 01:12:51,289
320 Central Park West.
1552
01:12:51,373 --> 01:12:54,668
You said you wanted
to design sets and costumes,
1553
01:12:54,751 --> 01:12:56,962
everybody in New York theater
is gonna be there.
1554
01:12:57,045 --> 01:12:58,296
Okay, back to Cooper.
1555
01:12:59,631 --> 01:13:01,633
-Okay.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1556
01:13:02,342 --> 01:13:03,718
We leave Mory's together.
1557
01:13:04,636 --> 01:13:08,181
It's a perfect November night.
A fingernail clipping of a moon.
1558
01:13:09,140 --> 01:13:12,602
He's got his arm around me.
We're both a little drunk,
1559
01:13:12,686 --> 01:13:15,564
stumbling in and out of each other's arms.
1560
01:13:15,647 --> 01:13:18,942
He's wearing this red and green
flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
1561
01:13:19,025 --> 01:13:20,277
Not that you noticed.
1562
01:13:21,236 --> 01:13:22,445
He's looking good!
1563
01:13:22,529 --> 01:13:24,489
-And you?
-Um...
1564
01:13:25,949 --> 01:13:26,992
It's my birthday, right?
1565
01:13:27,784 --> 01:13:30,287
-I'm supposed to be looking good.
-Tasty.
1566
01:13:31,663 --> 01:13:34,708
So I'm leaning
against that flannel work shirt,
1567
01:13:34,791 --> 01:13:36,376
and I'm telling you,
1568
01:13:37,043 --> 01:13:39,671
I can smell the maleness
coming off of him.
1569
01:13:39,754 --> 01:13:40,964
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1570
01:13:41,047 --> 01:13:45,468
I remember thinking that huge purple
letters should have lit up the sky...
1571
01:13:46,970 --> 01:13:48,346
-"Desire."
-Okay.
1572
01:13:48,430 --> 01:13:49,431
Hold on one second.
1573
01:13:49,514 --> 01:13:51,808
I have to go find some ice-water
and pour it down my trousers.
1574
01:13:51,892 --> 01:13:53,560
You may need some extra ice.
1575
01:13:54,269 --> 01:13:57,105
We end up in the basement
of his fraternity,
1576
01:13:57,188 --> 01:14:00,358
in this tawdry sort of derelict bar.
1577
01:14:00,442 --> 01:14:03,445
God only knows how many acts of depravity
have taken place down there.
1578
01:14:03,528 --> 01:14:05,071
And here comes one more.
1579
01:14:05,155 --> 01:14:06,239
Oh, yeah.
1580
01:14:06,323 --> 01:14:08,742
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-[ELIZABETH SIGHS]
1581
01:14:08,825 --> 01:14:11,328
So I've been watching this guy for a year,
1582
01:14:12,412 --> 01:14:16,625
dreaming about him, and now, here it is.
1583
01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:20,003
The night of my birthday,
1584
01:14:20,086 --> 01:14:22,839
the only light is coming
from this dim little lamp
1585
01:14:22,923 --> 01:14:25,550
with horses and jockeys
printed on the shade.
1586
01:14:26,259 --> 01:14:28,261
I mean, really, Larry,
what's a girl to do?
1587
01:14:29,095 --> 01:14:30,305
Happy birthday!
1588
01:14:33,016 --> 01:14:35,018
He begins to take off his clothes.
1589
01:14:35,101 --> 01:14:36,186
[HART INHALES DEEPLY]
1590
01:14:37,938 --> 01:14:39,147
[COUGHS]
1591
01:14:41,816 --> 01:14:43,568
You really want to hear this?
1592
01:14:43,652 --> 01:14:45,695
Uh, I'm mildly interested.
1593
01:14:47,864 --> 01:14:48,949
It's humiliating.
1594
01:14:50,408 --> 01:14:51,952
'Cause basically nothing happened.
1595
01:14:53,286 --> 01:14:54,412
Nothing?
1596
01:14:56,289 --> 01:14:58,083
Like you and me at the lake house?
1597
01:14:58,166 --> 01:14:59,167
No.
1598
01:15:00,210 --> 01:15:02,212
That was a deliberate decision
we made, right?
1599
01:15:02,921 --> 01:15:07,092
Based on what? Rationality?
I mean, as rational as you and I ever get.
1600
01:15:08,510 --> 01:15:09,553
[LAUGHS]
1601
01:15:09,636 --> 01:15:10,804
But this...
1602
01:15:12,055 --> 01:15:15,559
[CLICKS TONGUE] This was based on the fact
that he couldn't get the rubber on.
1603
01:15:16,184 --> 01:15:18,061
Oh, no.
1604
01:15:18,144 --> 01:15:19,354
He tried.
1605
01:15:20,272 --> 01:15:21,731
-He tried again.
-No.
1606
01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:25,360
-I tried.
-Oh, stop. [CHUCKLES]
1607
01:15:25,443 --> 01:15:27,362
It was the worst 10 minutes of my life.
1608
01:15:27,445 --> 01:15:29,531
It felt like 10 hours.
1609
01:15:29,614 --> 01:15:30,615
Oh, I'm sorry.
1610
01:15:30,699 --> 01:15:33,243
And you know what the worst part was?
1611
01:15:35,662 --> 01:15:38,123
He just wasn't there, you know?
1612
01:15:39,583 --> 01:15:42,335
He kept mumbling that it was,
um, the wine.
1613
01:15:42,419 --> 01:15:43,461
That, um...
1614
01:15:44,254 --> 01:15:47,716
[SIGHS] ...the rubber was too small,
if you can believe that.
1615
01:15:47,799 --> 01:15:49,050
[CHUCKLES]
1616
01:15:49,134 --> 01:15:52,012
And this whole time what's clear to me
1617
01:15:52,095 --> 01:15:56,892
is that he just... hasn't sufficiently...
1618
01:15:58,518 --> 01:16:01,146
I don't know
what the right word is. Maybe...
1619
01:16:03,064 --> 01:16:06,151
"he-just-doesn't-love-you-enough"
is the right word.
1620
01:16:07,319 --> 01:16:10,155
I mean, there's no way
around that one, is there?
1621
01:16:11,031 --> 01:16:13,950
When the girl loves the guy
with all of her heart,
1622
01:16:15,035 --> 01:16:17,495
and he just doesn't return her feeling?
1623
01:16:18,705 --> 01:16:21,249
Do you have any idea what that feels like?
1624
01:16:21,333 --> 01:16:23,376
"Nobody ever loved me that much."
1625
01:16:24,669 --> 01:16:28,423
I brought into that basement
a year's worth of adoration,
1626
01:16:29,466 --> 01:16:31,468
yeah, studying his photograph,
1627
01:16:32,636 --> 01:16:34,721
memorizing his phone number.
1628
01:16:34,804 --> 01:16:38,558
And there he was, this half-drunk junior
1629
01:16:39,643 --> 01:16:42,896
-who couldn't even pretend to love me...
-[SIGHS]
1630
01:16:42,979 --> 01:16:46,650
And... I wouldn't have minded
if there'd been...
1631
01:16:47,734 --> 01:16:49,986
some... passion underneath.
1632
01:16:50,070 --> 01:16:52,614
-[BOTH LAUGH]
-Or even empathy.
1633
01:16:54,115 --> 01:16:56,868
-[EXHALES DEEPLY]
-There was nothing.
1634
01:16:57,702 --> 01:17:01,456
Just... that lamp with the horses on it.
1635
01:17:02,624 --> 01:17:07,045
[WHISPERS] You deserve so much better.
1636
01:17:07,128 --> 01:17:08,171
Yeah.
1637
01:17:10,173 --> 01:17:12,050
I asked my roommate about it
the next morning,
1638
01:17:12,717 --> 01:17:14,469
you know, girl to girl.
1639
01:17:15,595 --> 01:17:20,350
She said that men sometimes can't
perform because they're too nervous.
1640
01:17:23,436 --> 01:17:26,398
I wish I could believe that to feel
a little bit better about myself.
1641
01:17:26,481 --> 01:17:27,857
But... [CLICKS TONGUE]
1642
01:17:28,358 --> 01:17:31,236
...he was not nervous. Not in the least.
1643
01:17:31,319 --> 01:17:32,404
He had his eyes shut.
1644
01:17:32,487 --> 01:17:35,615
As if he were trying to dream me
into somebody he really wanted.
1645
01:17:35,699 --> 01:17:37,617
[SIGHS] I felt stupid.
1646
01:17:37,701 --> 01:17:39,077
I felt debased.
1647
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,746
I felt furious at myself
that I could allow him
1648
01:17:41,830 --> 01:17:44,708
to make me feel so worthless. [SIGHS]
1649
01:17:46,042 --> 01:17:48,253
[LAUGHING] We tried
a few creative alternatives.
1650
01:17:48,336 --> 01:17:49,880
Oh, no. [LAUGHS]
1651
01:17:51,214 --> 01:17:53,800
It got uglier and uglier.
1652
01:17:54,509 --> 01:17:58,680
Finally, he said,
"Elizabeth, I owe you a rain check."
1653
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:01,975
And that...
1654
01:18:02,601 --> 01:18:04,769
That was my 20th birthday.
1655
01:18:06,146 --> 01:18:07,355
Ta-da.
1656
01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:08,523
Jesus wept.
1657
01:18:11,359 --> 01:18:12,569
But it gets worse.
1658
01:18:12,652 --> 01:18:13,778
I don't think I can take it.
1659
01:18:13,862 --> 01:18:15,196
Okay, I can take it.
1660
01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:19,492
But just tell me in a way that doesn't
make me ashamed to be a human being.
1661
01:18:19,576 --> 01:18:20,577
[SIGHS]
1662
01:18:21,703 --> 01:18:22,787
That's going to be difficult.
1663
01:18:24,247 --> 01:18:26,625
About a week later... [SIGHS]
1664
01:18:26,708 --> 01:18:28,585
...everybody's leaving for Thanksgiving.
1665
01:18:29,878 --> 01:18:32,631
He gives me a call.
Would I like to have dinner with him?
1666
01:18:33,423 --> 01:18:36,176
-You know me. No pride.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1667
01:18:36,259 --> 01:18:40,055
I say, "Sure," and make my way over
to his fraternity again,
1668
01:18:41,223 --> 01:18:43,975
which sits under this huge gingko tree.
1669
01:18:44,726 --> 01:18:46,937
The leaves have turned yellow,
1670
01:18:47,020 --> 01:18:49,689
the trunk of the tree
is black from the rain.
1671
01:18:50,398 --> 01:18:53,401
I'm thinking this is the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.
1672
01:18:54,319 --> 01:18:55,987
I remember saying to myself,
1673
01:18:56,821 --> 01:18:58,907
[WHISPERS] "God is giving you
a second chance."
1674
01:18:59,866 --> 01:19:01,034
We go up to his room,
1675
01:19:01,117 --> 01:19:03,495
his roommate has already left
for the holiday.
1676
01:19:04,287 --> 01:19:05,705
The door clicks shut,
1677
01:19:06,873 --> 01:19:07,874
and suddenly...
1678
01:19:09,292 --> 01:19:12,003
there's no more discussion about dinner.
1679
01:19:12,087 --> 01:19:13,964
Rain check cashed!
1680
01:19:14,047 --> 01:19:15,340
In spades.
1681
01:19:15,423 --> 01:19:17,133
I mean, it's suddenly pouring.
1682
01:19:17,217 --> 01:19:19,469
We're practically
tearing each other's clothes off.
1683
01:19:19,553 --> 01:19:21,221
There is no conversation.
1684
01:19:22,097 --> 01:19:23,348
And this time...
1685
01:19:24,766 --> 01:19:26,309
there is no difficulty.
1686
01:19:27,435 --> 01:19:30,772
Not the first time.
Not the second time.
1687
01:19:30,855 --> 01:19:32,357
Stop it.
1688
01:19:34,234 --> 01:19:38,238
He says to me,
"Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth."
1689
01:19:38,321 --> 01:19:39,322
Mmm.
1690
01:19:40,991 --> 01:19:44,953
And you want to hear the unbelievable
ending to this sordid little story?
1691
01:19:46,746 --> 01:19:48,456
That was the last time I saw him.
1692
01:19:50,542 --> 01:19:53,837
That was November. Over four months ago.
1693
01:19:55,297 --> 01:19:59,509
I was absolutely sure he'd call.
If only to have sex again, right?
1694
01:19:59,593 --> 01:20:01,761
No. Never.
1695
01:20:02,596 --> 01:20:04,389
I thought he'd write.
1696
01:20:04,472 --> 01:20:05,599
No.
1697
01:20:06,349 --> 01:20:07,976
So I call him, of course.
[SCOFFS]
1698
01:20:08,059 --> 01:20:09,227
HART: Mmm.
1699
01:20:09,311 --> 01:20:11,146
He couldn't get off the phone fast enough.
1700
01:20:11,229 --> 01:20:12,522
[SIGHS]
1701
01:20:12,689 --> 01:20:14,107
So I wrote to him.
1702
01:20:15,692 --> 01:20:18,278
-A four-page typed letter. Single-spaced.
-Oh, no.
1703
01:20:18,361 --> 01:20:19,696
No response.
1704
01:20:20,322 --> 01:20:24,367
I tell myself it was like a fever dream,
you know?
1705
01:20:25,327 --> 01:20:27,537
And maybe the fever finally broke.
1706
01:20:28,663 --> 01:20:31,666
And it all sounds sane and sensible.
1707
01:20:34,085 --> 01:20:35,503
But you know something?
1708
01:20:36,963 --> 01:20:40,550
If he called me right now,
right this very second,
1709
01:20:41,968 --> 01:20:44,012
I'd drop everything in my life and...
1710
01:20:45,138 --> 01:20:49,434
drive three hours, drive 30 hours
just to spend one more night with him.
1711
01:20:49,517 --> 01:20:51,478
What is the matter with me, Larry?
1712
01:20:51,561 --> 01:20:55,398
Why would you drive 30 hours to see
someone who treated you like that?
1713
01:20:58,318 --> 01:21:00,028
Because I'm in love with him?
1714
01:21:01,196 --> 01:21:02,197
You are?
1715
01:21:03,156 --> 01:21:06,743
It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic.
1716
01:21:07,744 --> 01:21:09,871
And this is not the first time
this has happened to me.
1717
01:21:11,164 --> 01:21:12,666
It keeps happening to me.
1718
01:21:14,459 --> 01:21:16,920
I feel like I can't see people clearly.
1719
01:21:18,213 --> 01:21:21,132
I wrote a song once, years ago,
1720
01:21:21,216 --> 01:21:23,301
called The Heart is Quicker
Than the Eye.
1721
01:21:23,385 --> 01:21:25,720
It's not a great song,
but it's a good title.
1722
01:21:25,804 --> 01:21:27,889
And it's true, I think.
1723
01:21:28,723 --> 01:21:34,563
The head has nothing to do
with the madness of love.
1724
01:21:34,646 --> 01:21:36,690
[CHUCKLES] And...
1725
01:21:37,232 --> 01:21:40,610
It doesn't matter at all
about worthiness, does it?
1726
01:21:40,694 --> 01:21:44,239
We invest our hearts in worthless stocks.
1727
01:21:44,322 --> 01:21:46,491
And we know they're worthless.
1728
01:21:46,575 --> 01:21:50,704
But we cling to them like little children
clutching their little stuffed bears.
1729
01:21:51,788 --> 01:21:54,833
[SIGHING] Oh, Elizabeth.
1730
01:21:56,877 --> 01:21:58,128
Tell me truthfully.
1731
01:22:00,171 --> 01:22:01,673
How do you feel about me?
1732
01:22:05,010 --> 01:22:06,094
How do you mean?
1733
01:22:07,262 --> 01:22:08,263
I mean,
1734
01:22:09,264 --> 01:22:12,517
at the lake house,
with the light burning off the water,
1735
01:22:14,144 --> 01:22:16,146
we talked through half the night,
1736
01:22:17,314 --> 01:22:19,107
and I touched your shoulder...
1737
01:22:19,900 --> 01:22:22,527
Did you actually love me
a little bit that night?
1738
01:22:23,820 --> 01:22:25,405
You know I love you, Larry.
1739
01:22:28,033 --> 01:22:29,242
You do?
1740
01:22:32,579 --> 01:22:35,874
Just... not that way.
1741
01:22:43,882 --> 01:22:48,053
You said you'd drive 30 hours
to see Cooper.
1742
01:22:49,387 --> 01:22:51,848
How many hours would you drive to see me?
1743
01:22:52,682 --> 01:22:55,393
Oh. [LAUGHS] My hands are shaking.
1744
01:22:55,477 --> 01:22:56,937
[HART MUMBLES]
1745
01:22:57,020 --> 01:22:59,522
I feel something wiser
and deeper for you.
1746
01:22:59,606 --> 01:23:01,942
-Mmm. Thank you.
-Respect.
1747
01:23:02,025 --> 01:23:05,987
Gratitude for the generosity
and selflessness you've shown me.
1748
01:23:06,071 --> 01:23:08,990
No one has ever been more interested
in my life than you have.
1749
01:23:09,074 --> 01:23:12,661
I don't deserve a friendship like yours.
I am so grateful for you.
1750
01:23:12,744 --> 01:23:14,829
I will be grateful forever.
1751
01:23:14,913 --> 01:23:17,582
I'm grateful to you, too,
for resurrecting me.
1752
01:23:17,666 --> 01:23:19,209
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Stop.
1753
01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:20,585
RENEE: Larry! There's people out here.
1754
01:23:20,669 --> 01:23:22,128
[SPUTTERS] One second!
1755
01:23:27,133 --> 01:23:29,094
-Can I ask you something?
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1756
01:23:30,262 --> 01:23:32,722
Something that's probably
too personal for me to ask?
1757
01:23:32,806 --> 01:23:36,184
Too personal is the only thing
that I'm interested in.
1758
01:23:36,851 --> 01:23:39,688
Uh... My mother...
1759
01:23:40,397 --> 01:23:43,441
You know, she works for the Guild,
she knows everybody.
1760
01:23:43,525 --> 01:23:46,319
So she saw us spending time together
last summer...
1761
01:23:46,403 --> 01:23:48,280
I see where this is headed.
1762
01:23:49,531 --> 01:23:52,784
She said to me... I don't...
I don't know how to say this.
1763
01:23:52,867 --> 01:23:53,868
Just say it.
1764
01:23:56,162 --> 01:23:57,163
Okay.
1765
01:23:58,623 --> 01:24:00,584
She said to me, more than once,
1766
01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:03,461
"Elizabeth, not only is he twice your age,
1767
01:24:04,546 --> 01:24:08,466
"but I don't think
his primary interest is women."
1768
01:24:08,550 --> 01:24:09,676
What did you say?
1769
01:24:10,802 --> 01:24:13,263
I said, "Look, Mother, I know what I know.
1770
01:24:13,346 --> 01:24:14,890
"And I know what we're both feeling."
1771
01:24:14,973 --> 01:24:17,142
Mmm-hmm. What are we both feeling?
1772
01:24:21,438 --> 01:24:23,148
"Irrational adoration?"
1773
01:24:25,233 --> 01:24:30,405
And what may I ask does your mother
think she knows of my primary interest?
1774
01:24:31,573 --> 01:24:34,326
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
1775
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:36,328
Please forgive me.
1776
01:24:37,787 --> 01:24:42,500
To all our mothers.
May they remain mercifully silent.
1777
01:24:43,752 --> 01:24:45,962
I apologize.
That was stupid of me to have asked.
1778
01:24:46,046 --> 01:24:48,048
And I do know what I know,
and what I feel.
1779
01:24:48,840 --> 01:24:51,009
Here's what you tell that mother of yours,
1780
01:24:51,092 --> 01:24:52,552
as she sits by the fire,
1781
01:24:52,636 --> 01:24:55,555
wistfully counting up her royalties
from Oklahoma!
1782
01:24:55,639 --> 01:24:59,309
You tell her that Larry Hart
is drunk with beauty.
1783
01:25:00,393 --> 01:25:02,479
And italicize the word "drunk."
1784
01:25:02,979 --> 01:25:05,690
Drunk with beauty, wherever he finds it.
1785
01:25:05,774 --> 01:25:10,320
In men, in women,
in the smell of cigar stores,
1786
01:25:10,403 --> 01:25:15,200
in the impossible beauty
of a 20-year-old poet
1787
01:25:15,283 --> 01:25:20,038
with pale green eyes and two tiny freckles
on her left cheek.
1788
01:25:24,834 --> 01:25:25,919
Are you all right?
1789
01:25:26,962 --> 01:25:29,464
It's... [INHALES DEEPLY]
1790
01:25:29,548 --> 01:25:31,466
-...my cigarette heart.
-[DOOR OPENS]
1791
01:25:31,550 --> 01:25:33,843
Larry, Dick Rodgers
is looking for his coat.
1792
01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,095
HART: Coming.
1793
01:25:52,028 --> 01:25:53,238
Introduce me?
1794
01:25:53,321 --> 01:25:56,366
[GRUNTING] Thank you, Renee.
1795
01:25:56,449 --> 01:25:58,577
Wonderful, thank you so much.
1796
01:25:59,244 --> 01:26:03,540
Dick, I want to introduce you
to my protégé, Elizabeth Weiland.
1797
01:26:04,958 --> 01:26:06,126
Your protégé?
1798
01:26:07,002 --> 01:26:08,378
-Hello.
-Hello.
1799
01:26:08,461 --> 01:26:10,839
Well, you've got yourself
a damn good role model there
1800
01:26:10,922 --> 01:26:13,300
if you can stay away from the bourbon.
1801
01:26:13,383 --> 01:26:18,096
Mmm. She's interested in writing
and set design and costumes.
1802
01:26:18,179 --> 01:26:19,514
Okay, really?
1803
01:26:19,639 --> 01:26:21,808
Mr. Rodgers, the show tonight,
1804
01:26:22,517 --> 01:26:24,102
I thought it was magnificent.
1805
01:26:24,185 --> 01:26:25,270
Well, thank you.
1806
01:26:25,353 --> 01:26:27,522
It was as perfect a musical show
as I've ever seen.
1807
01:26:27,606 --> 01:26:29,941
Well, that's a lovely compliment.
1808
01:26:30,025 --> 01:26:32,068
Your mother's with the Guild, am I right?
1809
01:26:32,152 --> 01:26:34,487
-Yes, Theresa Weiland.
-Yeah, Theresa, yeah.
1810
01:26:34,571 --> 01:26:37,282
-Right, so you've seen a lot of shows.
-Too many shows.
1811
01:26:37,365 --> 01:26:39,200
[ALL LAUGHING]
1812
01:26:39,284 --> 01:26:40,285
Yeah.
1813
01:26:40,368 --> 01:26:41,369
I know what you mean.
1814
01:26:41,953 --> 01:26:44,664
But tonight what I saw was what
I'd always hoped a show might be.
1815
01:26:44,748 --> 01:26:47,500
Uplifting. Smart. Magical.
1816
01:26:47,626 --> 01:26:51,046
Larry, this is the most perceptive young
woman you've ever introduced me to.
1817
01:26:51,129 --> 01:26:52,505
[HART CHUCKLES]
1818
01:26:52,589 --> 01:26:54,090
-I've had a good teacher.
-HART: Mmm-hmm.
1819
01:26:54,883 --> 01:26:56,551
So, what do you write?
1820
01:26:56,635 --> 01:26:58,470
At this point, poetry mostly.
1821
01:26:58,929 --> 01:27:00,805
It's very strong.
1822
01:27:00,889 --> 01:27:02,599
And you do set design, too?
1823
01:27:02,682 --> 01:27:04,059
-I'm studying.
-RODGERS: Right.
1824
01:27:04,142 --> 01:27:08,021
Well, I'd love to...
read some of your poems.
1825
01:27:08,104 --> 01:27:13,193
Uh... See your sketches. This is my...
This is my private number.
1826
01:27:14,694 --> 01:27:15,779
I'm flattered.
1827
01:27:16,488 --> 01:27:19,991
I haven't seen Dorothy around.
Is... Is... Is your wife here?
1828
01:27:20,075 --> 01:27:22,369
No, she's headed back to the apartment.
We're all going to meet up there
1829
01:27:22,452 --> 01:27:24,329
to look at the late reviews, Larry.
1830
01:27:24,412 --> 01:27:27,832
Yeah, so I'd love for you
to join us, Elizabeth.
1831
01:27:27,916 --> 01:27:30,752
It would be refreshing to have someone
of the younger generation amongst us.
1832
01:27:30,835 --> 01:27:32,837
And maybe you can
explain to me, Elizabeth,
1833
01:27:32,921 --> 01:27:35,382
why exactly the young girls
scream over Sinatra.
1834
01:27:36,007 --> 01:27:37,801
I don't scream over Sinatra.
1835
01:27:37,884 --> 01:27:39,928
No, she screams under Sinatra.
1836
01:27:40,011 --> 01:27:41,721
Okay, Larry!
1837
01:27:41,805 --> 01:27:43,265
[ALL LAUGHING]
1838
01:27:43,348 --> 01:27:45,475
Larry, of course, you're welcome to come.
1839
01:27:45,559 --> 01:27:49,229
Oh, I'm going to try to make it, I'm just
throwing a little soirée over at my place.
1840
01:27:49,312 --> 01:27:50,689
I've got the Golden Gate Quartet coming...
1841
01:27:50,772 --> 01:27:54,568
Well, I can't compete with Larry
in the soirée department.
1842
01:27:54,651 --> 01:27:56,736
-I'd love to stop over.
-You would?
1843
01:27:56,820 --> 01:27:58,363
MAN: Dick, you coming?
1844
01:27:58,446 --> 01:27:59,823
Yep, yep.
1845
01:27:59,906 --> 01:28:01,116
Do you have a ride?
1846
01:28:01,199 --> 01:28:02,826
You know what,
I can take her in a cab later.
1847
01:28:02,909 --> 01:28:04,536
We're going right now
if you want to come with us?
1848
01:28:04,619 --> 01:28:06,246
-I'd love to.
-RODGERS: Great.
1849
01:28:07,038 --> 01:28:09,416
Just let me inform my mom.
1850
01:28:09,499 --> 01:28:11,293
The dutiful daughter.
1851
01:28:11,376 --> 01:28:12,294
[RODGERS CHUCKLES]
1852
01:28:14,087 --> 01:28:17,465
RODGERS: Wow. She is...
She is so lovely, right?
1853
01:28:18,633 --> 01:28:20,510
She's really striking.
1854
01:28:20,594 --> 01:28:22,888
Are you... Are you and she...
1855
01:28:22,971 --> 01:28:26,808
Oh, no, no. I mean, I'm in love with her,
1856
01:28:27,475 --> 01:28:30,395
but, uh, everybody's in love with her.
1857
01:28:31,605 --> 01:28:33,398
Just not that way.
1858
01:28:33,481 --> 01:28:34,482
Okay.
1859
01:28:38,570 --> 01:28:39,696
HART: Hmm.
1860
01:28:41,781 --> 01:28:42,782
[HART SIGHS SOFTLY]
1861
01:28:44,075 --> 01:28:45,619
So we'll see you later on tonight?
1862
01:28:45,702 --> 01:28:46,953
Absolutely.
1863
01:28:48,955 --> 01:28:50,540
[CHUCKLES] Mmm-hmm.
1864
01:28:51,541 --> 01:28:52,709
Hmm.
1865
01:28:53,919 --> 01:28:55,295
Thank you for everything.
1866
01:28:57,005 --> 01:28:58,632
Mr. Rodgers.
1867
01:28:58,715 --> 01:28:59,966
Miss Weiland.
1868
01:29:02,052 --> 01:29:03,094
Thank you.
1869
01:29:03,887 --> 01:29:05,347
And we'll see you later, Larry, right?
1870
01:29:08,975 --> 01:29:12,938
"With a song in my heart,
I behold your adorable face!"
1871
01:29:25,283 --> 01:29:27,744
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1872
01:29:35,293 --> 01:29:38,630
You ever meet someone,
and you know instantly
1873
01:29:38,713 --> 01:29:42,926
that both your lives
are going to be irretrievably altered?
1874
01:29:43,009 --> 01:29:46,972
Just as I suspected.
You are a sentimentalist.
1875
01:29:47,055 --> 01:29:48,890
[HART LAUGHS]
1876
01:29:48,974 --> 01:29:50,183
When do you get off work?
1877
01:29:50,267 --> 01:29:51,810
I got to lock this joint up.
1878
01:29:51,893 --> 01:29:54,729
Ah, what about you, Knuckles,
you're done here, right?
1879
01:29:54,813 --> 01:29:56,189
Not yet.
1880
01:29:56,273 --> 01:29:59,818
Oh, 'cause I am throwing an enormous party
at my place tonight.
1881
01:30:00,902 --> 01:30:02,070
[SIGHS]
1882
01:30:02,946 --> 01:30:04,781
I forgot to give her the presents.
1883
01:30:06,199 --> 01:30:07,909
[SIGHS]
1884
01:30:07,993 --> 01:30:10,161
I'm having such trouble
with sleeves recently.
1885
01:30:10,245 --> 01:30:12,455
I have arthritis in this shoulder.
1886
01:30:13,415 --> 01:30:15,292
I'm going to have to start
wearing a cloak.
1887
01:30:15,917 --> 01:30:19,880
I mean it. Single-handedly,
I'm going to bring back the cloak.
1888
01:30:21,214 --> 01:30:22,257
[HART SIGHS]
1889
01:30:23,592 --> 01:30:24,718
[CLICKS TONGUE]
1890
01:30:24,801 --> 01:30:30,223
You're going to see me
on opening nights with a top hat
1891
01:30:30,307 --> 01:30:35,186
and a cloak, flitting through the fog
with a silver-tipped cane.
1892
01:30:35,979 --> 01:30:38,106
You boys are coming tonight, right?
1893
01:30:38,189 --> 01:30:41,276
She's going to be there.
I'm telling you, she will.
1894
01:30:41,902 --> 01:30:43,278
She'll arrive late.
1895
01:30:43,361 --> 01:30:47,532
And get this,
'cause this is the remarkable part,
1896
01:30:47,616 --> 01:30:51,119
sometime late, maybe around 5:00 a.m.,
1897
01:30:51,202 --> 01:30:53,538
after a little too much Malbec,
1898
01:30:53,622 --> 01:30:56,708
she's going to turn to me and say,
1899
01:30:56,791 --> 01:30:59,920
"Hey, Larry, what are you reading?
1900
01:31:00,003 --> 01:31:02,339
"Hey, Larry, when's your birthday?"
1901
01:31:02,422 --> 01:31:05,050
For the first time in her life,
1902
01:31:05,133 --> 01:31:09,012
she's going to be interested in me.
1903
01:31:09,846 --> 01:31:12,098
It has to happen sometime, right?
1904
01:31:12,182 --> 01:31:14,434
All the other guys have disappointed her.
1905
01:31:14,517 --> 01:31:17,562
But I never will. I'm just...
1906
01:31:18,605 --> 01:31:21,024
a little touch of Larry in the night.
1907
01:31:22,609 --> 01:31:25,153
Knuckles. Some travelin' music.
1908
01:31:25,237 --> 01:31:27,197
[PLAYING PIANO]
1909
01:31:29,616 --> 01:31:30,617
MORTY: [SINGING] Blue moon
1910
01:31:32,911 --> 01:31:36,248
You saw me standing alone
1911
01:31:36,873 --> 01:31:37,874
Wise guy.
1912
01:31:37,958 --> 01:31:41,253
Without a dream in my heart
1913
01:31:42,921 --> 01:31:45,966
Without a love of my own
1914
01:31:47,259 --> 01:31:51,429
Well, it's a helluva lot better than
The Surrey With the Fucking Fringe On Top.
1915
01:31:52,222 --> 01:31:55,308
Larry, you coming uptown
to Dick's with us?
1916
01:31:55,475 --> 01:31:58,019
Oh, no, you go on ahead,
I'll be up there later.
1917
01:31:59,062 --> 01:32:03,525
MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
You knew just what I was there for
1918
01:32:03,608 --> 01:32:07,404
{\an8}You heard me saying a prayer for
1919
01:32:07,487 --> 01:32:08,738
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1920
01:32:08,822 --> 01:32:12,075
Someone I really could care for
1921
01:32:12,158 --> 01:32:16,496
That's not bad. Triple feminine rhymes,
and they all make sense.
1922
01:32:16,580 --> 01:32:19,332
MORTY: [SINGING]
And then suddenly you appeared before me
1923
01:32:20,458 --> 01:32:24,045
MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
The only one my arms will ever hold
1924
01:32:25,130 --> 01:32:27,507
And I heard somebody whisper
1925
01:32:27,591 --> 01:32:29,718
Please adore me
1926
01:32:29,801 --> 01:32:34,806
And when I looked
The moon had turned to gold
1927
01:32:34,890 --> 01:32:36,474
Blue moon
1928
01:32:43,857 --> 01:32:48,612
Larry, I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
1929
01:32:49,195 --> 01:32:50,614
"Isn't it romantic?"
1930
01:32:51,489 --> 01:32:52,657
Not really, no.
1931
01:32:56,703 --> 01:33:00,040
You know, it wasn't even supposed to
be called Blue Moon.
1932
01:33:00,123 --> 01:33:03,501
I called it The Bad in Every Man.
1933
01:33:03,585 --> 01:33:06,379
We wrote it for this movie,
Manhattan Melodrama.
1934
01:33:06,463 --> 01:33:10,383
Jack Robbins, formerly "Rabinowitz,"
he had his name circumcised over at MGM,
1935
01:33:10,467 --> 01:33:12,385
he hears the song,
he calls us into his office,
1936
01:33:12,469 --> 01:33:14,054
he lowers his pastrami, says...
1937
01:33:14,137 --> 01:33:17,140
[IN NASAL VOICE]
"Dick, I love the melody.
1938
01:33:17,224 --> 01:33:19,601
"Strong as anything you've ever written.
1939
01:33:19,684 --> 01:33:24,064
"But, Larry, those words,
they're too artsy-fartsy!
1940
01:33:24,147 --> 01:33:27,567
"They're not too artsy-fartsy for me.
I know how brilliant you guys are.
1941
01:33:27,651 --> 01:33:30,111
"But you have to write
for the schmucks in the dark.
1942
01:33:30,195 --> 01:33:31,696
"Nobody's going to sing that lyric."
1943
01:33:31,780 --> 01:33:33,448
[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I said,
"What's wrong with it?"
1944
01:33:33,531 --> 01:33:36,368
He said... [IN NASAL VOICE] "I can't even
remember the fucking title!
1945
01:33:36,451 --> 01:33:39,287
"Boys, give me
something I can promote."
1946
01:33:39,371 --> 01:33:41,706
[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I say,
"What do you want me to call it?"
1947
01:33:41,790 --> 01:33:42,791
Blue Moon?
1948
01:33:42,874 --> 01:33:45,835
Punchline, biggest hit we ever wrote.
1949
01:33:46,586 --> 01:33:48,588
[SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1950
01:34:04,020 --> 01:34:06,022
[THIS FUNNY WORLD PLAYING]
1951
01:36:27,622 --> 01:36:29,624
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]