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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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♪ All the machines
are standing still

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♪ Hiss 'n' listen... ♪

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Can people
have yellow eyes? I forgot.

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Not really yellow.
Browny yellow, I suppose.

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F is a... Wait... F...

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No.

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No!

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I wish I had blue eyes
cos I like the colour blue.

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I like the colour light blue,
but not really dark blue.

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00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,480
There was once
a boy who fell to earth

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and found himself
in a dark interior forest

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of shadow and bone

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from which he feared
he might never return.

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He made hundreds
of these journeys

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and came back less
of the child he'd once been

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and more like a pioneer
of deep inner space.

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Can you see me?
Lou, can you see me?

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00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:58,000
Can you see me?

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00:05:04,319 --> 00:05:05,720
Louis, can you see me?

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00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,879
Lou, can you hear me?

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00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,600
Can you hear me?
Louis, can you see me?

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Are you there?
Are you there?

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He writes,

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"For over four years, I lived
closer to death than life.

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Most of my experiences come
from the weird understanding

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of the world I fell into

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and how I found myself
in a patchwork

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of dreams and hallucinations.

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When the normal healthy state
of the organism was disturbed,

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as soon as I fell ill,

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another world began to appear

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on the bridge between
conscious and subconscious."

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♪ Hey, Don?

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00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,519
♪ What, Phil?

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00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,480
♪ How would you call
your baby home?

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♪ Well, if I needed her
real bad

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♪ I guess I would call her
like this... ♪

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Louis?

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Louis, can you hear me,
darling? Can you hear me?

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♪ Baby

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♪ Oh, sweet baby

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♪ My sweet baby

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♪ Please come home

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♪ Yeah, that ought
to bring her home, Don

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♪ People

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♪ Don't understand... ♪

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Louis? Louis,
can you hear me, darling?

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Can you hear me?

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00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,399
Are you there?

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00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,000
Are you there?

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00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,680
Lou?

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00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:48,759
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me now?

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00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,759
Can you see me?
Can you hear me?

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Do you feel all right?

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- Can you speak?
- Hello.

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...across the road.

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Don't film me doing that.

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Go on, cross the road, Lou.
Keep going.

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When the father
proposes a journey

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to the top of the world,
to his son,

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to what end neither is sure,

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other than looking
for a location

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for a film
that will never get made.

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We are going on holiday!

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Perhaps he hopes

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they will get to know
each other better,

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but he doesn't say,
being a man of few words.

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"No more road movie", he says.

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A five-day journey overland

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and by sea from London
to the Arctic Circle.

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A journey from
celluloid to memory stick.

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No more flights,
no more driving.

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Once he regarded driving
like cinema,

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as a form
of forward projection.

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These days, he prefers
the sideways view of trains,

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00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:54,279
the blank gaze
of the random travelling shot.

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Technology
and the subconscious.

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Journeys past, different
times, in some ways easier,

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before parenthood,
before social media,

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before anything smart.

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Just the empty road ahead,

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when it was still possible
to be between two points

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and out of reach.

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00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,360
At the beginning of cinema,

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one of its first practitioners
said that it was

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an invention without a future.

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A remark later confirmed
by another filmmaker

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when he said that cinema
and history

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are made of the same material.

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Similarly,
artificial intelligence

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learns only from the past.

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Once,
when talking to a chatbot,

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00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:27,039
the father said he had hoped
for a more nuanced answer,

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00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,679
to be told,
"I don't do nuance."

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00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,639
He was interested
to note that in 2017,

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00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:37,799
when two chatbots

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were programmed
to talk to each other,

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they ended up
abandoning English

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and developing
their own language

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completely autonomously.

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00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,679
When asked
what his film is about,

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the father says nothing
is written

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00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,639
beyond having a map reference
for a location

106
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,120
regarding an old dead
spymaster,

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one of the most secretive men
who ever lived.

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00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,720
God bless you all.

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00:12:19,879 --> 00:12:22,200
Plus literary gunslingers
and gentlemen dopers

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on mind-bending trips.

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00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,879
White man's DNA and all
its inherited prejudices.

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00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,200
Time future contained
in time past.

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00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,159
"The same old story",
he shrugs.

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What gets remembered
and what gets forgotten.

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00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:39,559
And in terms of his son,
what he doesn't remember

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because of what the drugs did.

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Sweetheart?

118
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Can you hear me? Can you
hear me? Can you hear me?

119
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,320
Can you hear me?

120
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,440
Can you hear me?

121
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:53,399
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?

122
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,879
You can see me, can't you?

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Lou?

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Come on. Come on.

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Can you hear me at all?

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00:13:05,279 --> 00:13:08,240
Can you hear me at all?

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00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:15,840
Louis?

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00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:18,120
Louis? Louis?

129
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,200
Louis?

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00:13:42,159 --> 00:13:43,320
You're kind of...

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00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:45,320
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

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00:13:47,919 --> 00:13:50,639
He was 12
when he started having seizures,

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after a perfectly healthy
childhood.

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His mother's reaction
was a combination

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of panic and ignorance.

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Lou?

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00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,480
All she knew about epilepsy

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00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,440
was when the Simpsons
went to Japan

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00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:04,039
and fell down convulsing

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00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,399
while watching Battling
Seizure Robots on television.

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00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,480
Can you hear me?

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00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,480
When she was asked to film
the seizures

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00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,440
to help with a diagnosis,

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she did as she was told,
however harrowing that was.

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Lou, can you hear me?

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He completely lost his life

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on very heavy medication,

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00:14:29,519 --> 00:14:32,600
which stopped him from
processing new information

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00:14:32,679 --> 00:14:34,200
and he even lost the memories

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00:14:34,279 --> 00:14:36,360
of the life before
his epilepsy.

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00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:38,759
Can you hear me?

152
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,360
Louis?

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00:14:42,399 --> 00:14:43,440
Louis?

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00:15:31,519 --> 00:15:36,200
♪ From this valley
they say you are going

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♪ We will miss your
bright eyes and sweet smile

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00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:46,919
♪ For you take with you
all of the sunshine

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00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:52,039
♪ That has brightened our life
for a while

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♪ Then come sit by my side
if you love me

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00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:02,320
♪ Do not hasten
to bid me adieu

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♪ But remember
the Red River Valley

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00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:12,639
♪ And the cowboy
that loved you so true

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00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,679
♪ For a long time, my darlin'
I've waited

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00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,519
♪ For those sweet words... ♪

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00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,039
He's called Speedy the Snail
and I really like him!

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00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:28,039
♪ But at last all
my fond hopes have vanished

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00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:33,200
♪ And they say you
are going away

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00:16:33,279 --> 00:16:37,960
♪ Must the past with its joys
all be blighted

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00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:43,080
♪ By the future of sorrow
and pain

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00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,279
♪ Must the vows... ♪

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I just felt like
putting spikes on her head.

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00:16:48,679 --> 00:16:53,320
♪ Don't you think
you can love me again?

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00:16:53,919 --> 00:16:57,879
♪ There never could be
such a longing

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00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,639
♪ In the heart
of a poor cowboy's breast

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♪ As dwells in the heart
you are breaking

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♪ As I wait in my home
in the West ♪

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I don't think
I have any horns.

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No? A scapegoat?

178
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,119
Well, I mean, it depends on...
You said "goat".

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Scapegoat.

180
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,960
I do not say baa-baa.

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00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,880
Two years before
he died, the old spymaster,

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00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,119
lured by the white nights,
the insomniac's friend,

183
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,200
and Europe's best fly fishing,

184
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stayed in a remote hut
in the Arctic Circle.

185
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,079
And in this high refuge
he made a taped record,

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00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,680
a confession,
a settling of accounts,

187
00:17:51,759 --> 00:17:55,000
a dandy's revenge,
a final act of contrition.

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00:17:58,839 --> 00:18:00,920
Upon being told
his father possesses

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00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,599
a transcript of the tapes,

190
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the son can't decide
whether it is a true story,

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the father is making it up,

192
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or he has made it up
but also believes it is true.

193
00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:13,559
He says in terms
of Through the Looking Glass,

194
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Angleton regarded espionage
as a wilderness of mirrors.

195
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Are you still haunted by...?

196
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:22,839
Am I still...?

197
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,240
- Haunted by...
- Possibly, I don't know.

198
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,200
I do hear voices...

199
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,519
One night, he told his mother
everything looked distorted,

200
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:41,720
big and distant
at the same time.

201
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:43,839
She asked his doctors

202
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if it was a side effect
of the drugs

203
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:48,160
and was told
it was a type of focal seizure

204
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,359
called
Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.

205
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,440
They had diagnosed
generalised epilepsy

206
00:18:53,519 --> 00:18:55,680
of unknown cause,
but they said

207
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you don't get both generalised
and focal seizures.

208
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:04,119
So he was referred to another
hospital for a second opinion.

209
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,440
The second doctor agreed
with the original diagnosis

210
00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:10,720
and told the mother to stop
putting ideas into his head

211
00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:14,079
because children were very
susceptible to suggestion.

212
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,279
Then the following year,

213
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:27,720
she was told by his doctors

214
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,680
that you can, in fact,
have both types of seizure.

215
00:19:32,799 --> 00:19:34,240
She discovered more is known

216
00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:36,119
about the universe
than the brain,

217
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,400
and the treatment of epilepsy
is all trial and error.

218
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,839
She knew
she was considered difficult.

219
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,039
She pointed out misdiagnoses,

220
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,680
clinical inaccuracies
and examples of recklessness.

221
00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:52,960
Even so, she supposed they
knew what they were doing.

222
00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:56,200
What she failed to see was the
potentially lethal combination

223
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:58,440
of hubris and bureaucracy.

224
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,680
His mother had no idea

225
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,720
when he started
having seizures,

226
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:30,839
how dangerous epilepsy is.

227
00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:35,319
Every time he turned over
in the night,

228
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,839
she would be
immediately awake,

229
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,319
waiting for
the screeching mattress alarm.

230
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,119
And every morning
she would look into his room,

231
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,079
fearing he had died
in the night from SUDEP,

232
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,759
sudden unexplained death
in epilepsy,

233
00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:50,440
when people die in their sleep
and no one knows why.

234
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,000
The doctors
told her to time each seizure

235
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:29,440
and if one lasted
more than five minutes,

236
00:21:29,519 --> 00:21:31,279
she should give
emergency medication

237
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,000
and call an ambulance.

238
00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:34,880
When a seizure doesn't stop

239
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,240
it's called
status epilepticus,

240
00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,799
which can cause
brain damage and death.

241
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,720
Louis has been in status
epilepticus over 12 times.

242
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,680
Is that the harbour
we're going on?

243
00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:54,799
No.

244
00:21:55,720 --> 00:22:00,920
But did you see how much sand
there was... in the truck?

245
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,720
No, I didn't notice that.

246
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:05,559
- There was a whole hill.
- Ah, OK.

247
00:22:12,319 --> 00:22:14,319
Yeah, we have one.

248
00:22:17,759 --> 00:22:18,880
Don't look.

249
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,960
OK.

250
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,319
- Mum, did you see that?
- No.

251
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,400
Good.

252
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:29,240
- What did it say on the back?
- I didn't see it.

253
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,720
F is a... Wait.

254
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:34,680
F... No.

255
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,920
The next station
is Moulsecoomb.

256
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Is there three lines?

257
00:22:42,079 --> 00:22:44,599
This is coach number
one of four.

258
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,599
No, two.
Oh, sh...

259
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,799
It doesn't matter.
Wait.

260
00:22:54,519 --> 00:22:56,920
Now, it's... Uh, yeah.

261
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:58,680
Mummy, there you go.

262
00:22:58,759 --> 00:23:01,160
We're gonna pack up
now because we've got to...

263
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,640
Two minutes
of watching your child seizing

264
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,559
with no way of retrieving them

265
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,319
extends beyond time
into a possibility of a loss

266
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,920
that might be forever.

267
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:26,440
♪ People don't understand

268
00:24:26,519 --> 00:24:28,319
♪ No, no

269
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,000
♪ They think loving

270
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:37,359
♪ Is beautiful and grand

271
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,640
♪ Baby

272
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,359
♪ Oh, my baby

273
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,839
♪ Oh, my baby

274
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,440
♪ You're the one

275
00:24:53,519 --> 00:24:54,720
♪ Your love... ♪

276
00:24:54,799 --> 00:24:57,880
He says, "Whenever I had
a seizure, I blacked out.

277
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,960
I would wake up
knowing I'd had a seizure

278
00:25:00,039 --> 00:25:02,160
but confused nonetheless.

279
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,880
My vision would be blurry.

280
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,720
I would always have
a severe migraine

281
00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:07,799
and feel an immense amount
of pressure,

282
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,079
as if I was deep underwater.

283
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,279
My skin would tingle
in a slightly painful way

284
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,519
and I would never be able
to say what I was thinking."

285
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,599
♪ Oh, my baby, you're... ♪

286
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,960
"Once I asked
to sit on my pillow

287
00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:26,799
when I was trying
to ask for a glass of water.

288
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,119
And once my mum asked me
who she was

289
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,680
and I couldn't find the right
words and just shook my head.

290
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,119
Someone who sacrificed
her whole life

291
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,160
to take care of me

292
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,160
and I forgot her name
because of a seizure."

293
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,440
Can you hear me?

294
00:25:42,079 --> 00:25:43,880
Have you got anything
in your mouth?

295
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,160
Can you open your mouth?

296
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,440
Can you open your mouth?

297
00:25:46,519 --> 00:25:48,319
Just check...
Nothing in there.

298
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,240
Yeah?

299
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
OK, darling?

300
00:25:58,839 --> 00:25:59,839
OK?

301
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,160
Can you hear me?
You can hear me, yeah?

302
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,440
Can you?

303
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,359
- Yeah. Lou?
- Yeah.

304
00:26:09,039 --> 00:26:12,000
- You just had another blank.
- Another one!

305
00:26:47,799 --> 00:26:49,920
The old spymaster,
James Angleton,

306
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,480
twins in the father's mind

307
00:26:51,559 --> 00:26:53,440
with the writer
William Burroughs,

308
00:26:53,519 --> 00:26:56,480
another one who was
after the big white whale.

309
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,359
Two chain smokers,

310
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,799
one a dope addict,
the other a drunk.

311
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,880
Warped patricians infected
by high-grade paranoia.

312
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,279
Burroughs was
the perfect artistic product

313
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:12,160
of the Cold War:
half spy, half scientist,

314
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,559
half astronaut

315
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,160
on that long journey
through inner space.

316
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,640
Decorum and manners
in pursuit of wildness.

317
00:27:20,279 --> 00:27:22,759
Every particle
of this universe

318
00:27:22,839 --> 00:27:25,640
contains the whole
of the universe.

319
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,440
You in yourself have
the whole of the universe.

320
00:27:28,519 --> 00:27:32,640
I cut you up in a certain way,
I cut up the universe.

321
00:27:41,039 --> 00:27:43,680
There are
many ways cut-ups can be done.

322
00:27:43,759 --> 00:27:46,400
One very simple way
that I've used frequently is

323
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:47,920
just take a page,

324
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,720
cut it down the middle
and across the page

325
00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:52,599
so you now have four sections

326
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,680
and you rearrange
the sections.

327
00:28:11,799 --> 00:28:14,200
If you have
a pre-recorded universe

328
00:28:14,279 --> 00:28:17,559
in which everything
is already pre-recorded,

329
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,920
the only thing
that is not pre-recorded

330
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,400
are the pre-recordings
themselves.

331
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,880
So, with my cut-ups
I was attempting to tamper

332
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,759
with the basic pre-recordings.

333
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,640
When you
experiment with cut-ups

334
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:45,799
over a period of time,

335
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,000
you find that some of the
cut-ups and rearranged texts

336
00:28:49,079 --> 00:28:51,640
seem to refer
to future events.

337
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Perhaps when you cut
into the present,

338
00:28:56,079 --> 00:28:57,480
the future leaks out.

339
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,599
But we simply accepted it
and continued the experiments.

340
00:29:04,079 --> 00:29:05,440
On the fourth drug,

341
00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:07,799
he had yet another type
of seizure,

342
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,240
one that came
every 40 minutes on the dot

343
00:29:10,319 --> 00:29:12,519
and each one lasted
exactly one minute.

344
00:29:14,079 --> 00:29:16,200
He's having one. Lou?

345
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:27,400
Spot on. 40 minutes later.

346
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:38,720
Louis?

347
00:29:50,319 --> 00:29:51,319
Lou?

348
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,559
Louis? Can you hear me?

349
00:30:05,359 --> 00:30:08,119
- Mm-hm.
- You just had another one.

350
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,160
Another one.

351
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,960
How long is a minute?

352
00:30:13,039 --> 00:30:14,680
Time stretches and bends.

353
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,000
Some lasted a minute,
some much longer.

354
00:30:18,079 --> 00:30:19,720
And they took many forms,

355
00:30:19,799 --> 00:30:22,319
like a malignant choreography
of demons.

356
00:30:30,319 --> 00:30:32,880
After two years
of worsening seizures,

357
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,720
Louis' doctors say there's
nothing more they can do

358
00:30:35,799 --> 00:30:39,039
and tell his mother to grieve
for the child he once was.

359
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,119
His father says
it doesn't take half a brain

360
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,960
to work out things are fucked.

361
00:30:45,119 --> 00:30:46,799
He comes from a family
of doctors

362
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,200
and dismisses
the medical profession today

363
00:30:49,279 --> 00:30:51,240
as being in the business
of prescription

364
00:30:51,319 --> 00:30:52,480
rather than care.

365
00:30:54,039 --> 00:30:56,279
He applies for
an Irish passport,

366
00:30:56,359 --> 00:30:57,480
which seems to make sense

367
00:30:57,559 --> 00:31:00,200
as his great-grandfather,
another Louis,

368
00:31:00,279 --> 00:31:02,480
ran the lunatic asylum
in Sligo.

369
00:31:02,559 --> 00:31:04,880
Good evening,
dear passengers.

370
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,720
My name is Simon
and I'm your train manager.

371
00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:10,640
On behalf of European Sleeper
and my entire crew,

372
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,720
I warmly welcome you
aboard this train

373
00:31:12,799 --> 00:31:15,000
heading to Berlin
Hauptbahnhof.

374
00:31:15,799 --> 00:31:18,279
This train will make stops
at Antwerp Centraal,

375
00:31:18,359 --> 00:31:19,960
Roosendaal,
Rotterdam Centraal,

376
00:31:20,039 --> 00:31:21,400
The Hague Hollands Spoor,

377
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,440
Amsterdam Centraal,
Amersfoort Centraal,

378
00:31:23,519 --> 00:31:25,200
Deventer, Bad Bentheim,

379
00:31:25,279 --> 00:31:28,119
before continuing
to Berlin Hauptbahnhof.

380
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,440
We will provide you
with further information

381
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:32,200
about the progress
of our journey

382
00:31:32,279 --> 00:31:35,440
through the night
shortly before 10 p.m.

383
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:38,000
For now, we wish you
a very pleasant trip.

384
00:31:58,039 --> 00:31:59,880
Louis' state of erasure

385
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,480
found a distorted reflection

386
00:32:01,559 --> 00:32:02,720
in the loss of memory

387
00:32:02,799 --> 00:32:04,279
of the father's mother.

388
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,880
Hers was a different kind
of forgetting,

389
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,039
the erosion of old age,

390
00:32:09,119 --> 00:32:10,839
which raises
the stark question:

391
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,920
what of it
is worth remembering anyway?

392
00:32:17,559 --> 00:32:19,920
Stoical indifference
has its virtues,

393
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,039
but is not of much use
to anyone else.

394
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,039
His mother turned 100
recently.

395
00:32:26,119 --> 00:32:28,480
No one recognised
at the family party,

396
00:32:28,559 --> 00:32:32,079
apart from a photograph
of her wedding in 1947

397
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,359
where she could name
everyone in the picture

398
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,359
with the exception of the man
she'd just married.

399
00:33:15,839 --> 00:33:18,440
As for the spook
the father is interested in

400
00:33:18,519 --> 00:33:20,519
and coincidences of geography,

401
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,599
he says
you couldn't make him up.

402
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,319
A man whose middle name
was Jesus,

403
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,720
a Cold War warrior
and world-class fly fisherman.

404
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:31,440
Grower of orchids
who, although a Yank,

405
00:33:31,519 --> 00:33:32,599
was privately educated

406
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,319
in the town
where the father was born.

407
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,440
In 2016 the father returned
to live there

408
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:44,519
in the house built by
his grandmother after the war,

409
00:33:44,599 --> 00:33:47,839
a house of memory
spanning three generations,

410
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,559
haunted in its own way

411
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,680
and reminiscent
of the entombed world

412
00:33:51,759 --> 00:33:52,960
of Edgar Allan Poe,

413
00:33:53,039 --> 00:33:55,039
another one
who had focal seizures.

414
00:34:03,559 --> 00:34:05,599
There, he tended his garden,

415
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,039
walked the dog
and chased shadows.

416
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,880
As the world imploded,

417
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,039
he divided it into those
that couldn't remember -

418
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:16,039
Louis, his own mother -

419
00:34:16,119 --> 00:34:18,119
and those that
couldn't forget -

420
00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:19,480
the boy's mother.

421
00:34:20,039 --> 00:34:22,639
Any sense of past and future,

422
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,519
relationships,
things going on elsewhere,

423
00:34:25,599 --> 00:34:26,760
was lost.

424
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,800
I notice on this Christmas Eve

425
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,760
that your family
is not with you.

426
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,840
Is that a result
of all these unhappy events?

427
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,039
Yes.

428
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,440
The father shared
Angleton's way

429
00:34:57,519 --> 00:34:59,960
of reading the world
as a literary text

430
00:35:00,039 --> 00:35:01,159
and he tried
to imagine

431
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,400
what a recording
of the man's final confession

432
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,880
might sound like,

433
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,840
an analogue cassette version
of Krapp's Last Tape,

434
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,000
recorded on
an old Sanyo boom box.

435
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,360
Angleton avoided
public statement.

436
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,119
An exception was when he was
doorstepped by reporters

437
00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,719
the morning after his fall.

438
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:21,920
The CIA...

439
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,519
Despite being visibly drunk,

440
00:35:24,599 --> 00:35:26,559
his cunning never falters.

441
00:35:26,639 --> 00:35:28,079
A civilised demeanour,

442
00:35:28,159 --> 00:35:30,639
deflection laced
with brazen lies.

443
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,800
Was your branch of the CIA

444
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,119
involved in the surveillance
of American citizens

445
00:35:36,199 --> 00:35:37,760
here inside the United States?

446
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,400
Absolutely not.

447
00:35:40,119 --> 00:35:43,119
Now, could you be careful?
Because I've just shaved.

448
00:35:43,199 --> 00:35:46,519
I've been up all night,
literally, on the phone.

449
00:35:46,599 --> 00:35:48,000
What is it?

450
00:35:49,079 --> 00:35:50,840
This man has more...

451
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:55,800
What is this?

452
00:35:56,679 --> 00:35:58,519
An electronic device.

453
00:35:58,599 --> 00:36:01,000
I see.
I'm not familiar with them.

454
00:36:01,079 --> 00:36:02,400
It's much more perfected

455
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,320
than anything
we have in the agency.

456
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:06,840
Why did you resign?

457
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,119
Angleton and
the father were essentially

458
00:36:12,199 --> 00:36:14,039
in the same line of work.

459
00:36:14,119 --> 00:36:17,239
Nicotine and alcohol
their lifelong companions.

460
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,239
Both in the business
of fiction,

461
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,119
the art of the lie
and making stuff up.

462
00:36:22,199 --> 00:36:25,599
They know that truth is
a commodity, not an absolute,

463
00:36:25,679 --> 00:36:27,800
a lesson the boy's mother
was yet to learn

464
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,000
when it came
to her son's healthcare.

465
00:36:33,159 --> 00:36:36,480
♪ Dis train
don't carry no liars

466
00:36:36,559 --> 00:36:38,280
♪ Dis train

467
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,119
♪ Dis train
don't carry no liars

468
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:44,719
♪ Dis train

469
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,360
♪ Dis train don't carry... ♪

470
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,960
Hospital wards
and doctors' waiting rooms,

471
00:36:51,039 --> 00:36:52,760
Accident and Emergency,

472
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,679
blue-lit ambulances,

473
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,920
a life of endless waiting
and panic

474
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,599
all became familiar
to Louis and his mother.

475
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:03,719
They were told

476
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,480
they had to accept
the side effects of medication

477
00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:09,320
because uncontrolled seizures
were so dangerous,

478
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,679
but the medication
didn't even stop the seizures.

479
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,199
I think I deal with
epilepsy quite well,

480
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,000
even though it's been tough.

481
00:37:19,079 --> 00:37:20,559
It's been tough on me.

482
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,079
I would say...

483
00:37:25,679 --> 00:37:28,079
I would deal with it
quite well.

484
00:37:28,599 --> 00:37:29,599
Um...

485
00:37:31,159 --> 00:37:32,199
Uh...

486
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:36,519
Even though it's quite hard
to deal with it.

487
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,280
But I don't really complain
about it...

488
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,880
...at all, I would say.

489
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:43,960
Um...

490
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,280
There's... um...

491
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,760
Uh...

492
00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:06,280
♪ Folks, I'm goin' down
to St. James Infirmary

493
00:38:07,639 --> 00:38:11,800
♪ See

494
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,440
♪ My baby there

495
00:38:13,519 --> 00:38:17,039
♪ She's stretched out
on a long, white table

496
00:38:17,119 --> 00:38:21,639
♪ She's so sweet,
so cold, so fair

497
00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:26,079
♪ Let her go, let her go
Oh, bless her... ♪

498
00:38:26,159 --> 00:38:27,320
The devastating effect

499
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,000
of the medication
on his cognition

500
00:38:29,079 --> 00:38:30,679
was really shocking.

501
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,119
If he was told something,

502
00:38:32,199 --> 00:38:34,800
he couldn't remember it
three minutes later.

503
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,079
He couldn't get out of bed
most days

504
00:38:37,159 --> 00:38:39,360
and he was just watching
the same cartoons

505
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:40,800
over and over again.

506
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,320
♪ Now, when I die, bury me
in my straight-leg britches... ♪

507
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,559
He stopped being able
to play the guitar.

508
00:38:48,639 --> 00:38:50,880
He stopped being able
to play tennis.

509
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,719
He stopped being able
to do the things he loved.

510
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,559
The one thing he carried
on doing, however ill he was,

511
00:38:56,639 --> 00:38:58,280
was drawing and painting

512
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,559
and that's what kept him sane.

513
00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:03,280
He would just go into
this world for hours on end.

514
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:07,199
♪ Then give me
six crap-shooting pall bearers

515
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,920
♪ Let a chorus girl
sing me a song... ♪

516
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,039
Well, this one
is just about being held down.

517
00:39:14,119 --> 00:39:16,159
It's about everything
that epilepsy

518
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:17,440
has stopped me from doing.

519
00:39:17,519 --> 00:39:19,280
So, it's kind of...

520
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,679
looking, like, longingly

521
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,480
at people living
their normal life.

522
00:39:23,559 --> 00:39:26,719
♪ Folks, now that
you have heard my story

523
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:34,280
♪ Say, boy, hand me over
another shot of that booze

524
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,119
♪ If anyone should ask you

525
00:39:37,199 --> 00:39:42,199
♪ Tell 'em I've got those
St. James Infirmary blues ♪

526
00:40:21,119 --> 00:40:23,119
The father
shows him a picture

527
00:40:23,199 --> 00:40:24,840
of the back of a man's head,

528
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,000
saying he died the month
before your seizures started.

529
00:40:28,079 --> 00:40:30,599
It is the only image
he'd seen in a long time

530
00:40:30,679 --> 00:40:32,960
which has aroused
his curiosity,

531
00:40:33,039 --> 00:40:34,119
maybe because the death

532
00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:36,039
of this shape-shifting
entertainer

533
00:40:36,119 --> 00:40:39,480
at the start
of that fateful year of 2016

534
00:40:39,559 --> 00:40:41,519
foretold of chaos to come.

535
00:40:42,119 --> 00:40:43,840
Maybe he likes the picture

536
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,280
because it is not an original
but a fragment of a copy,

537
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,760
and there's always a chance
it isn't him

538
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,440
but an impersonator
or a double

539
00:40:52,519 --> 00:40:55,679
or a fake or someone else
who fell to earth.

540
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,800
And this fake, real image

541
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,760
of a fake, real man pleased him

542
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,840
in a way that also made him
a bit anxious,

543
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,199
maybe even a little nostalgic

544
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:10,000
for when it was still possible
to have such perfect hair

545
00:41:10,079 --> 00:41:11,480
and look to the future

546
00:41:11,559 --> 00:41:14,559
and still turn one's back
on the world.

547
00:41:31,559 --> 00:41:36,440
♪ When you walked in
I just stood still

548
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:43,960
♪ I said, "I'm sorry, love
I have no will"

549
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:51,639
♪ If I try to move
I'll break and spill

550
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:59,159
♪ What's left of me
my weight will kill

551
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:05,920
♪ If I die inside
this bitter shell

552
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:14,760
♪ It will be upon
a frozen lake

553
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,079
♪ My knees will break

554
00:42:19,159 --> 00:42:22,400
♪ My breath will swell

555
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,559
♪ The snow around my blood
will paint

556
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,880
♪ Lord, I know my timing's off

557
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,360
♪ And all the earth is ragged

558
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,679
♪ To the bone

559
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,960
♪ Oh, oh

560
00:42:50,159 --> 00:42:54,480
♪ Tired is the burning sea

561
00:42:54,559 --> 00:42:57,880
♪ That calls me to the bottom

562
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,079
♪ Like a stone

563
00:43:01,159 --> 00:43:04,800
♪ Oh, oh

564
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,760
♪ And I'm

565
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,079
♪ Sinking alone... ♪

566
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,400
When you have epilepsy,

567
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,400
it's easy to feel
like you've lost everything.

568
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,480
And there's so much more
to epilepsy than seizures.

569
00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:25,880
Seizures are just the seed
that branches out

570
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,119
into so many different traumas
and problems.

571
00:43:29,199 --> 00:43:31,679
It can change
your whole situation.

572
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:36,920
♪ Now inside this blinded bend

573
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:44,000
♪ I'll pour the ink
down through my pen... ♪

574
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,679
I had to move
to Rotterdam, for example.

575
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,800
I was moved away
from my family,

576
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,280
my friends, just my home.

577
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,920
♪ My misery until the end

578
00:44:02,119 --> 00:44:06,360
♪ Lord, I know my timing's off

579
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,760
♪ And all the earth is ragged

580
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,079
♪ To the bone

581
00:44:13,159 --> 00:44:15,920
♪ Oh, oh... ♪

582
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,800
My mum did extensive
research for more cures

583
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,440
and she found
cannabis medication.

584
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,039
We went to, um, Holland
to get cannabis

585
00:44:25,119 --> 00:44:28,800
and, although it was very hard
to move away from my home,

586
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,840
um, in the end

587
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,639
it was right, it was worth it

588
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:36,000
because it cured my epilepsy.

589
00:44:36,079 --> 00:44:39,679
It's... It helped me more
than any other medication.

590
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,320
It had less severe side
effects than other medication,

591
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,639
but it has a stigma
attached to it.

592
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,039
You don't smoke it,
you just take it in oils.

593
00:44:49,079 --> 00:44:53,000
Very little THC in it,
mainly CBD.

594
00:44:54,639 --> 00:44:56,000
♪ I'm

595
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,840
♪ Sinking alone ♪

596
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,760
In kind of my final two years
I was kind of known as

597
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,000
the hospital's
most complex case.

598
00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:09,559
They could not understand

599
00:45:09,639 --> 00:45:12,239
why I was having
these seizures.

600
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,760
Like, they said,
like, to my mum

601
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,840
I will never be seizure-free,
I will never kind of...

602
00:45:18,559 --> 00:45:21,639
"You just need to get used
to your son being disabled

603
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,480
and kind of not...
maybe never leaving home."

604
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,440
Can you squeeze my hand?

605
00:46:52,519 --> 00:46:54,239
Can you squeeze my hand?

606
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,760
Lou? Can you squeeze?

607
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:00,480
OK, darling.

608
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:03,400
Come on.

609
00:47:04,159 --> 00:47:06,480
Louis? Louis?

610
00:47:06,559 --> 00:47:07,559
Louis?

611
00:47:10,159 --> 00:47:12,239
Berlin.
Berlin Central Station.

612
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,719
Please exit on the left side
in the direction of travel.

613
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,239
A brief stopover in Berlin,

614
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,039
where the father had lived
in the 1980s.

615
00:47:38,119 --> 00:47:40,000
It was strange
finding himself back

616
00:47:40,079 --> 00:47:42,119
in that formerly
occupied city,

617
00:47:42,199 --> 00:47:45,079
epitomising the dark dream
of the Cold War,

618
00:47:45,159 --> 00:47:47,960
where the fault lines
of two civilisations met

619
00:47:48,039 --> 00:47:49,599
at its dividing wall.

620
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:05,920
The present masters
of the Soviet Union

621
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,280
have said to us,

622
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,239
"Peaceful co-existence
until we bury you."

623
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,199
- Mr Zapuder...
- Zapruder, yes.

624
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,599
Zapruder.
Would you tell us your story?

625
00:48:14,679 --> 00:48:17,400
I was shooting.
I heard a shot.

626
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:19,599
And he slumped to the side.

627
00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,840
And I saw his head
practically open up,

628
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,800
all blood and everything.

629
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:25,119
And I kept on shooting.

630
00:48:25,199 --> 00:48:26,800
You have the film
in your camera?

631
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,159
Yes, I brought it.

632
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,159
We'll get that processed.

633
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:31,840
Right now we have video tape.

634
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,480
Angleton underwrote
the secret history

635
00:48:35,559 --> 00:48:37,719
of the second half
of the 20th century.

636
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,840
A stoic individual
who admits nothing.

637
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,079
Plenty to confess
after more than 30 years

638
00:48:43,159 --> 00:48:46,280
practising the dark arts
of CIA counterintelligence,

639
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,679
and, in its middle,

640
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:49,519
the black hole
of the assassination

641
00:48:49,599 --> 00:48:52,760
of the 35th president
of the United States.

642
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,880
Lone gunman?
Shooters on the grassy knoll?

643
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,280
Who knows? Probably Angleton.

644
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,840
He was finally hung out
to dry in 1974

645
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,039
after the press exposed
his illegal activities.

646
00:49:05,119 --> 00:49:06,400
This at the same time

647
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:08,360
as the Watergate
burglary scandal,

648
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,400
which led to the downfall
of the 37th president.

649
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,760
The biggest
White House scandal in a century,

650
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,960
the Watergate scandal
broke wide open today.

651
00:49:17,039 --> 00:49:18,280
Angleton later denied

652
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,000
meeting one of the burglars,

653
00:49:20,079 --> 00:49:22,840
a CIA operative who had
previously been sighted

654
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,519
behind the grassy knoll.

655
00:49:24,599 --> 00:49:26,719
Secrets within secrets.

656
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,760
Now, tell us
if this is a coincidence.

657
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,719
The father
comes across a photograph

658
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,360
of actor John Wayne
in a military canteen,

659
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,679
taken when filming
in the Philippines.

660
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,440
Standing in the background,
a young marine.

661
00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:42,800
None other
than Lee Harvey Oswald.

662
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,639
...how and why we exist...

663
00:49:46,199 --> 00:49:48,320
Angleton denied
all knowledge of Oswald,

664
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,719
the so-called lone gunman,
despite keeping a file on him,

665
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:55,239
and no doubt was familiar with
the TV show Mission Impossible

666
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,719
which declared each week,
"Capture will result in disavowal

667
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,079
of any knowledge
of your actions."

668
00:50:01,159 --> 00:50:02,360
Did you shoot the President?

669
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,119
No, they're taking me in

670
00:50:04,199 --> 00:50:07,679
because I lived in the Soviet Union.
I'm just a patsy!

671
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,000
- Absolutely not.
- Was the agency involved

672
00:50:10,079 --> 00:50:12,000
in the kind of
domestic surveillance

673
00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:14,599
that has been portrayed
in the news reports?

674
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,639
- Explain yourself.
- The way it violated its charter.

675
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,199
My feeling is that it has not.

676
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:26,039
Are you suggesting
that these years in the CIA

677
00:50:26,119 --> 00:50:29,000
you have watched President Nixon,
Secretary Kissinger

678
00:50:29,079 --> 00:50:30,800
and now President Ford

679
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,519
take the United States
down a misguided path?

680
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,639
As I told you earlier,
Mr Shaw,

681
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,760
you kept me up too many hours

682
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,440
till 3 a.m.
watching public television.

683
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:51,679
I don't know whether
I like you

684
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,079
or don't like you,
for that reason.

685
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,079
- May I ask if you...?
- God bless you.

686
00:50:57,159 --> 00:50:59,079
I don't know
if "Merry Christmas" is...

687
00:50:59,159 --> 00:51:01,440
It sounds ironic,
but Merry Christmas.

688
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,119
- Merry Christmas.
- Bless you.

689
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:06,360
All the best.

690
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,159
Angleton knew the secrets,

691
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,039
knew where the bodies
were buried.

692
00:51:10,119 --> 00:51:12,639
The CIA was supposed
to mind foreign affairs

693
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:14,800
with no mandate
for domestic issues,

694
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,840
which didn't stop him from running
an illegal mail-opening service.

695
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:22,840
In fact, he told his son
he worked for the post office.

696
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,840
He may as well have said
that he was a doctor,

697
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:30,159
given the extent to which the CIA funded
university and hospital research

698
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,599
into the effect
of mind-altering drugs,

699
00:51:32,679 --> 00:51:35,199
using unsuspecting
human guinea pigs.

700
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,280
CIA documents
describe experiments

701
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,880
in which certain patients
were given LSD

702
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:45,559
for more than
75 consecutive days.

703
00:51:45,639 --> 00:51:48,800
In order to overcome
tolerance to the hallucinogen,

704
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,000
Isbell administered, quote,
double, triple

705
00:51:51,079 --> 00:51:53,000
and quadruple doses.

706
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,519
A few patients felt that, quote,
they had become very large

707
00:51:57,599 --> 00:52:00,159
or had shrunk
to the size of children.

708
00:52:00,679 --> 00:52:02,920
Their hands or feet
did not seem to be their own

709
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,679
and sometimes took on
the appearance of animal paws.

710
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,079
They reported many fantasies
or dreamlike states

711
00:52:09,159 --> 00:52:11,079
in which they seemed
to be elsewhere.

712
00:52:11,159 --> 00:52:14,039
Fantastic experiences
such as trips to the moon

713
00:52:14,119 --> 00:52:15,639
or living in gorgeous castles

714
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,360
were occasionally reported,
unquote.

715
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,880
Isbell concluded, quote,

716
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,760
despite these striking
subjective experiences,

717
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,440
the patients remained orientated
in time, place, and person.

718
00:52:33,079 --> 00:52:36,559
When asked about
his worst experiences during withdrawal,

719
00:52:36,639 --> 00:52:40,519
he said it was a toss-up
between phenytoin and clobazam,

720
00:52:40,599 --> 00:52:42,119
a benzodiazapene.

721
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:47,239
Coming off phenytoin,
he had over 200 seizures in a fortnight.

722
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,960
His weight dropped to 45 kg.

723
00:52:50,039 --> 00:52:53,679
He was too weak to walk
and almost too tired to talk.

724
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,199
He says,
"Withdrawing from clobazam

725
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,480
I was the most scared
in all my life.

726
00:52:59,559 --> 00:53:01,000
Not the most painful

727
00:53:01,079 --> 00:53:02,920
but the most
frightening experience.

728
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,320
Glitching out,

729
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,239
like when the TV picture
goes all over the place.

730
00:53:08,199 --> 00:53:11,960
When I moved my hands it felt
like I had hundreds of hands.

731
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,599
Every time I opened my eyes

732
00:53:14,679 --> 00:53:17,480
the pictures on the walls
had been moved.

733
00:53:17,559 --> 00:53:21,679
When I shut my eyes, I felt
like my skin was expanding.

734
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,360
Other times, I felt like
my body was shrinking.

735
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:28,480
Everything looked
outlined in blue and purple

736
00:53:28,559 --> 00:53:31,880
and pixelated,
with snakes and clocks."

737
00:53:41,559 --> 00:53:44,079
The seizures
and medical withdrawal

738
00:53:44,159 --> 00:53:46,400
did at least bequeath him
his art,

739
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,119
which became his lifeline,

740
00:53:48,199 --> 00:53:50,679
offering a slow climb
out of the pit.

741
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,559
It was as though
the pre-recorded world of Burroughs

742
00:53:54,639 --> 00:53:56,519
had decided to give him
a break,

743
00:53:56,599 --> 00:53:59,639
as in the seizures stop
as suddenly as they started,

744
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,480
allowing him to move on.

745
00:54:03,079 --> 00:54:04,559
They do stop.

746
00:54:04,639 --> 00:54:06,960
Except no one moves on.

747
00:54:35,679 --> 00:54:37,320
In the stage of recovery,

748
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,719
which involves
being able to return home

749
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,559
and resume his education,

750
00:54:41,639 --> 00:54:45,320
the health service that had
let him down so badly before

751
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,440
waits to do so again.

752
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,039
If the pre-recorded world

753
00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:55,440
had decided to grant
the young man a reprieve,

754
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,679
it was at the expense
of a malevolent system.

755
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,199
And now
we see you on the steamer

756
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:24,639
bound for a foreign land.

757
00:55:37,559 --> 00:55:40,039
♪ It was on Monday morning

758
00:55:40,119 --> 00:55:43,039
♪ Just about one o'clock

759
00:55:43,559 --> 00:55:46,000
♪ That the great Titanic

760
00:55:46,079 --> 00:55:48,360
♪ Began to reel and rock

761
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:53,760
♪ Then the people began to cry,
saying, "Lord, I'm going to die"

762
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:57,880
♪ It was sad
when that great ship went down

763
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:03,159
♪ It was sad when that
great ship went down... ♪

764
00:56:04,039 --> 00:56:05,800
The father tells his son

765
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,559
that once
there was analogue boredom

766
00:56:08,639 --> 00:56:11,159
and now
there is digital boredom,

767
00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:14,280
a new kind
of addictive boredom,

768
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,679
whereas old-style boredom
was a state of transit.

769
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,519
He says once artificial
intelligence takes over,

770
00:56:20,599 --> 00:56:23,239
the whole lot
will probably get wiped anyway

771
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,880
and it will be back
to candles and matches.

772
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,679
♪ The water
could not go through

773
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,800
♪ But God with his mighty hand

774
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:34,400
♪ Showed to the world
it could not stand... ♪

775
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,760
Hand. Brush. Paper.

776
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,760
The reassurance of things,
solid objects,

777
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,840
after his free-fall journeys.

778
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:43,800
A way of transcribing.

779
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,960
Whatever worlds he visited,
they weren't digital.

780
00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:58,159
Mummy, don't look at it.

781
00:57:08,559 --> 00:57:10,880
Sometimes he said
he could smell things

782
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,360
that no one else could,

783
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:14,440
or had a strong sense
of déjà vu,

784
00:57:14,519 --> 00:57:15,800
or goosebumps,

785
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,960
or a sense of invisible
weights pressing down on him.

786
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:21,679
Once, he said
he was on the brink

787
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,199
of knowing all the secrets
of the universe

788
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,280
but couldn't quite grasp them.

789
00:57:45,039 --> 00:57:47,000
The father remembered reading

790
00:57:47,079 --> 00:57:49,440
that the problem
with artificial intelligence

791
00:57:49,519 --> 00:57:51,480
is that
it doesn't get goosebumps

792
00:57:51,559 --> 00:57:55,639
as it doesn't experience
cold, fear or excitement.

793
00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:01,559
The world we live in,

794
00:59:01,639 --> 00:59:04,079
that grand post-digital mess,

795
00:59:04,159 --> 00:59:05,679
seems much more in keeping

796
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,920
with something
imagined by Burroughs -

797
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,719
mind control,
electronic viruses,

798
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,039
deadly leisure -

799
00:59:13,119 --> 00:59:15,679
than the Big Brother world
of George Orwell,

800
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:19,000
which removed the pleasure
principle from the equation.

801
00:59:19,079 --> 00:59:22,039
And in pleasure,
the dopamine high,

802
00:59:22,119 --> 00:59:24,559
addiction and enslavement,

803
00:59:24,639 --> 00:59:26,519
as Burroughs well knew.

804
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:42,679
In the meantime,

805
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:46,519
the image bank has exploded,
with everything shot to death,

806
00:59:46,599 --> 00:59:49,280
exemplified by
the ubiquitous selfie,

807
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,920
desperate in its want
to be liked and shared.

808
01:01:21,239 --> 01:01:24,320
He says,
"I take two types of cannabis,

809
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:26,480
Bedrolite and Cannabiszorg.

810
01:01:26,559 --> 01:01:29,079
The Bedrolite is
a dark black liquid

811
01:01:29,159 --> 01:01:30,719
that looks like
it has consumed

812
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:32,800
everything it has touched.

813
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,119
Not even light could escape
from its darkness.

814
01:01:36,199 --> 01:01:39,119
Cannabiszorg is pure CBD,

815
01:01:39,199 --> 01:01:42,360
the liquid yellowish
and transparent.

816
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,599
It looks angelic
and completely pure.

817
01:01:45,679 --> 01:01:47,840
I often think about
how much I rely

818
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,760
on these two
contradictory-coloured liquids."

819
01:02:45,719 --> 01:02:46,840
He says,

820
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,280
"When you tell people
you have epilepsy,

821
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,199
you can see it scares them.

822
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:52,679
I guess because seizures

823
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,039
have long been associated
with stigma

824
01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:56,239
and still are."

825
01:03:03,159 --> 01:03:04,400
"In the past,

826
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:06,360
I would have been sent
to an asylum

827
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,119
or burned at the stake,

828
01:03:08,199 --> 01:03:10,440
because seizures
were taken for a sign

829
01:03:10,519 --> 01:03:12,039
of demonic possession."

830
01:03:14,159 --> 01:03:17,519
"Had I been born in Germany
in the 1930s,

831
01:03:17,599 --> 01:03:18,719
I would have been gassed

832
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:21,480
as part of the Nazi
euthanasia programme,

833
01:03:21,559 --> 01:03:24,239
with the forced consent
of my parents."

834
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:28,920
And even in the UK
during Covid

835
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,239
there were those with epilepsy
and learning disabilities

836
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:34,800
who were given
"do not resuscitate" orders

837
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,719
without their family's
knowledge or permission.

838
01:03:53,599 --> 01:03:55,519
The mother had been brought up

839
01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:59,360
believing in the integrity of
the National Health Service,

840
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,239
part of that postwar dream

841
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:03,360
of free healthcare for all.

842
01:04:04,679 --> 01:04:06,960
Her grandmother
had been a ward sister

843
01:04:07,039 --> 01:04:09,199
who cared for children
with polio.

844
01:04:11,679 --> 01:04:14,119
And her father, an NHS doctor,

845
01:04:14,199 --> 01:04:17,880
whose early death was seen
as a great loss to medicine.

846
01:04:32,639 --> 01:04:35,079
The ideal scenario
was that a young man

847
01:04:35,159 --> 01:04:37,400
who had suffered
such tribulation

848
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,079
would be supported.

849
01:04:39,159 --> 01:04:40,360
But doctors refused

850
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,320
to prescribe
his medical cannabis,

851
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,039
saying it wasn't safe,

852
01:04:44,119 --> 01:04:46,559
and discharged him
from their care,

853
01:04:46,639 --> 01:04:47,760
leading to years lost

854
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:50,840
in a hostile, bureaucratic wilderness.

855
01:05:11,719 --> 01:05:13,400
Having made a life study

856
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,280
of voluptuously rotten
systems,

857
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,920
the father is surprised to find
his family infected by one,

858
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,360
leaving him wondering whether
doctors were leaned on,

859
01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:24,039
probably by
the pharmaceutical companies,

860
01:05:24,119 --> 01:05:25,320
which, as everybody knows,

861
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:27,239
are in a lethal,
addictive business.

862
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,159
Endless questions unanswered,

863
01:05:30,239 --> 01:05:33,159
round in circles,
redactions, sleepless nights,

864
01:05:33,239 --> 01:05:35,239
queasy free-floating dreams,

865
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:38,480
paranoia as contagious
as any virus.

866
01:05:40,199 --> 01:05:43,320
The father counts the parallels
with Angleton's world,

867
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,960
watching the mother spun
in an endless loop,

868
01:05:46,039 --> 01:05:48,559
frozen with fear,
fear of relapse,

869
01:05:48,639 --> 01:05:51,639
fear of SUDEP,
fear of Louis' doctors,

870
01:05:51,719 --> 01:05:53,320
fear of making a mistake

871
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:55,559
which could lead to the death
of her son,

872
01:05:55,639 --> 01:05:59,920
and living every day with the
memory of watching, helpless.

873
01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,719
The father
tells his son about Angleton,

874
01:06:57,800 --> 01:06:59,400
the holy ghost of spies,

875
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,960
who proudly claimed that he
had half of Washington bugged,

876
01:07:03,039 --> 01:07:04,239
later telling reporters

877
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:06,320
he didn't know
what a tape recorder was.

878
01:07:08,239 --> 01:07:09,840
Despite his writer's block,

879
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,000
he believes the Angleton tapes
are all in his head,

880
01:07:13,079 --> 01:07:14,920
waiting to be transmitted

881
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,079
and the magnetic north
will give him the answer.

882
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:21,360
In terms of mind control,

883
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:24,239
Angleton believed
the Soviets were years ahead.

884
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:27,800
The CIA hired shrinks,
quacks and hypnotists,

885
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,920
formed unthinkable alliances,

886
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:33,119
studied the nuances
of hostile interrogation

887
01:07:33,199 --> 01:07:35,480
and the notion
of programmed assassins,

888
01:07:35,559 --> 01:07:36,880
asking themselves

889
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:40,039
how much was it possible
to fuck with someone's head?

890
01:07:40,119 --> 01:07:42,360
You are number 20
in the queue.

891
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:48,199
In terms of the
wider surveillance network,

892
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:51,599
if the watcher watches,
who watches the watcher?

893
01:07:52,639 --> 01:07:54,519
Now we watch ourselves.

894
01:07:54,599 --> 01:07:55,679
Freedom to act

895
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:59,119
has been reduced to freedom
of choice and consumption

896
01:07:59,199 --> 01:08:02,400
in which we end up
only consuming ourselves

897
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,159
in an act
of digital cannibalism.

898
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,119
He notes
the childish irresponsibility

899
01:08:11,199 --> 01:08:13,199
of the internet robber barons

900
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,760
with their creed
of move fast and break things,

901
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,560
and this, for some reason,

902
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,640
leaves him thinking
of Grünewald's Crucifixion,

903
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:22,720
and the despair
of the ninth hour.

904
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:25,439
It was said that Grünewald

905
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:27,800
was the most uncompromising
of realists

906
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,199
whose Calvary stood
at the opposite pole

907
01:08:30,279 --> 01:08:32,079
from those debonair Golgothas

908
01:08:32,159 --> 01:08:35,079
adopted by the Church
ever since the Renaissance.

909
01:08:35,159 --> 01:08:37,920
And his lack of compromise
let the observer know

910
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,880
that realism
could be truly transcendent.

911
01:09:14,359 --> 01:09:17,359
♪ Smile at the past
when I see it

912
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,000
♪ Sometimes shit seem
out of reach

913
01:09:31,079 --> 01:09:33,920
♪ But when it do, I look down
See the glass on the ring

914
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,720
♪ You look close, you could
really see your past on repeat

915
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:39,600
♪ Tracin' every step back
like I'm draggin' my feet

916
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:40,760
♪ You should get to know me

917
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:42,920
♪ The Devil dance,
lean back in my seat

918
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:44,880
♪ She blow a kiss
It hit the side of my cheek

919
01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:46,279
♪ I wipe it off

920
01:09:46,359 --> 01:09:48,479
♪ Lipstick probably
still on my skin

921
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:50,520
♪ I'm just a victim
in this world full of sin

922
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,840
♪ My mother try
and keep me safe

923
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:54,119
♪ Mama try and keep me safe

924
01:09:54,199 --> 01:09:55,560
♪ When I was eatin'
from your beak

925
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:57,800
♪ I knew I'd grow
to fly away on my own

926
01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:59,960
♪ Always told me
stay away from the stove

927
01:10:00,039 --> 01:10:01,800
♪ And lit the fire
just to heat up the comb

928
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,000
♪ Now I'm grown, uh

929
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:06,199
♪ I'm grown

930
01:10:07,399 --> 01:10:09,079
♪ I made my own way

931
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:10,720
♪ Mm ♪

932
01:10:23,119 --> 01:10:26,600
He says, "My last
seizure was some years ago now

933
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:30,000
but you live every day in the
fear of it starting again."

934
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:35,600
He remembers little of the
four years lost to epilepsy,

935
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,199
other than brief
harrowing memories

936
01:10:38,279 --> 01:10:40,640
and the feeling
of watching himself

937
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:42,800
and death watching him.

938
01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:03,520
As they near
their destination,

939
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:06,680
the father starts to pick up
on Angleton's voice,

940
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:09,319
but only strange names
being transmitted

941
01:11:09,399 --> 01:11:10,920
that mean nothing.

942
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,760
Flamingo zonker,

943
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:14,880
yellow goofus bug,

944
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,800
egg-sucking leech,

945
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:18,560
the grey ghost,

946
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:22,680
which he doesn't realise
until later are fishing flies.

947
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:27,079
Coming through more clearly,
Angleton tells him,

948
01:11:27,159 --> 01:11:31,039
"On the river, you seek to
imagine the world of the fish

949
01:11:31,119 --> 01:11:33,840
while giving the illusion
of a real fly,

950
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:36,800
and the fish believes,
in that moment,

951
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:38,479
you are the fly."

952
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:48,159
♪ All the machines
are standing still

953
01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:51,119
♪ Hiss 'n' listen... ♪

954
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,760
In terms
of unforeseen connections,

955
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:59,079
there is the Grünewald,
the CIA and LSD.

956
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:01,119
In 1951,

957
01:12:01,199 --> 01:12:04,479
more than 300 inhabitants
of a small French town

958
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:07,239
were afflicted
with terrible hallucinations.

959
01:12:08,159 --> 01:12:10,359
One man tried to drown himself

960
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,039
because his belly
was being eaten by snakes.

961
01:12:13,119 --> 01:12:16,439
Another saw his heart
escaping through his feet.

962
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,279
A third had the sensation
of shrinking

963
01:12:19,359 --> 01:12:22,880
and fire and serpents
were coiled around his arms.

964
01:12:23,399 --> 01:12:27,159
A once common disease
known as ergotism was blamed,

965
01:12:27,239 --> 01:12:30,840
caused by eating bread
made with contaminated flour.

966
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:34,239
The monks who commissioned
the Grünewald

967
01:12:34,319 --> 01:12:35,760
cared for such patients

968
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:38,119
whose symptoms included
convulsions,

969
01:12:38,199 --> 01:12:41,119
lesions, gangrene and visions.

970
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:50,000
In the 1930s,

971
01:12:50,079 --> 01:12:52,279
as a result
of his research on ergot,

972
01:12:52,359 --> 01:12:55,000
a Swiss pharmacist, more
or less accidentally, came up

973
01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:57,039
with the formula for LSD

974
01:12:57,119 --> 01:13:00,319
whose supply was later
monopolised by the CIA

975
01:13:00,399 --> 01:13:03,319
for its secret
biochemical warfare programme.

976
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:09,000
A rumour persists that the
incident in the French town

977
01:13:09,079 --> 01:13:10,439
was a CIA operation

978
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:13,399
that involved
spiking the local baguettes.

979
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:33,600
Lou? Lou?

980
01:13:36,119 --> 01:13:37,119
Louis?

981
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:38,760
Louis?

982
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:41,000
Louis?

983
01:13:50,279 --> 01:13:51,760
Can you wake up, Lou?

984
01:13:53,119 --> 01:13:54,600
Wake up.

985
01:13:54,680 --> 01:13:56,560
Can you wake up?
Wake up.

986
01:13:57,239 --> 01:13:58,840
Wake up. Wake up.

987
01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:01,479
Come on.

988
01:14:04,039 --> 01:14:06,640
Louis, can you
wake up? Can you wake up?

989
01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:11,119
Can you wake up?
Sweetheart? Come on.

990
01:14:14,239 --> 01:14:15,399
Come on.

991
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:18,199
Come on, darling.

992
01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:05,000
He tells his son

993
01:15:05,079 --> 01:15:07,359
there are too many knots
and metaphors,

994
01:15:07,439 --> 01:15:10,159
too much separation,
overdependence,

995
01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:11,600
entwinement.

996
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:13,840
Too many levels
of consciousness

997
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:15,119
and, in all cases,

998
01:15:15,199 --> 01:15:18,399
a suspicion
that reality is the dream

999
01:15:18,479 --> 01:15:20,000
and the dream is reality.

1000
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,840
Well, again, apologies
for keeping you waiting.

1001
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:42,039
For Angleton,
patriot and paranoiac,

1002
01:15:42,119 --> 01:15:46,000
elegance and lucidity
turned to alcoholism,

1003
01:15:46,079 --> 01:15:48,439
cancer and madness.

1004
01:15:50,039 --> 01:15:54,039
What he had once believed was
a fight against the evil enemy,

1005
01:15:54,119 --> 01:15:55,119
he came to see

1006
01:15:55,199 --> 01:15:57,680
was just another form
of useless control.

1007
01:15:58,279 --> 01:15:59,880
At the end of his life

1008
01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:03,199
he confessed the error
of his ways, saying,

1009
01:16:03,279 --> 01:16:05,000
"Unlike George Washington,

1010
01:16:05,079 --> 01:16:07,600
the founding father
of the United States,

1011
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:11,079
who told his father,
'I cannot tell a lie',

1012
01:16:11,159 --> 01:16:14,520
the founding fathers
of US intelligence

1013
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:17,239
were fundamentally liars.

1014
01:16:18,479 --> 01:16:20,880
Outside of duplicity
and betrayal,

1015
01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:22,680
the only thing
they had in common

1016
01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:24,680
was a desire
for absolute power.

1017
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:29,000
If you were in a room
with those then grand masters,

1018
01:16:29,079 --> 01:16:30,560
you were in a room full
of people

1019
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:33,800
that you had to believe would
deservedly end up in hell.

1020
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:36,880
I guess
I will see them there soon."

1021
01:16:58,800 --> 01:17:00,399
Angleton tells the father

1022
01:17:00,479 --> 01:17:03,399
that any search for
a meaningful or biblical truth

1023
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:04,640
is futile.

1024
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:06,439
And even after death

1025
01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:08,159
there is ambiguity

1026
01:17:08,239 --> 01:17:10,640
and one carries on
making mistakes.

1027
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:22,680
Sweetie, come on.
Are you there? Are you there?

1028
01:17:24,079 --> 01:17:25,560
Louis? Louis?

1029
01:17:28,479 --> 01:17:30,000
Louis? Louis?

1030
01:19:32,960 --> 01:19:36,279
♪ Dis train
don't carry no liars

1031
01:19:36,359 --> 01:19:38,079
♪ Dis train

1032
01:19:39,800 --> 01:19:42,920
♪ Dis train
don't carry no liars

1033
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:44,520
♪ Dis train

1034
01:19:46,279 --> 01:19:49,279
♪ Dis train
don't carry no liars

1035
01:19:49,359 --> 01:19:52,239
♪ Don't carry nothing
but the holy fire

1036
01:19:52,319 --> 01:19:56,640
♪ Lord, Lord, Lord,
Lord, Lord

1037
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:58,000
♪ Lord

1038
01:19:58,960 --> 01:19:59,960
♪ Lord... ♪

1039
01:21:08,119 --> 01:21:10,000
Louis was quite familiar

1040
01:21:10,079 --> 01:21:13,199
with the hallucinations
depicted in the Grünewald,

1041
01:21:13,279 --> 01:21:16,239
with its angels,
monsters and demons.

1042
01:21:18,159 --> 01:21:19,479
For his mother,

1043
01:21:19,560 --> 01:21:20,960
the painting was a revelation

1044
01:21:21,039 --> 01:21:24,840
in its unvarnished depiction
of suffering and truth

1045
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:26,800
without which, she realised,

1046
01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:30,119
there can be no transcendence
or forgiveness.

1047
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:01,640
He sent his mother a message.

1048
01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:03,760
"Yesterday,

1049
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:05,960
we headed up the fell.

1050
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,680
The climb was exhausting.

1051
01:22:11,239 --> 01:22:14,119
And I woke up thinking
of what I'd left behind

1052
01:22:15,319 --> 01:22:18,560
and how my absence
would be perceived

1053
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,760
in this previous reality.

1054
01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:24,560
How it would be seen

1055
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:27,920
in every other dream
I'd woken from."

1056
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:01,520
Meanwhile,
what would they find there?

1057
01:23:02,439 --> 01:23:03,960
The key to something?

1058
01:23:04,439 --> 01:23:05,720
Hope perhaps?

1059
01:23:06,680 --> 01:23:08,600
Or just more ambushes?

1060
01:23:09,760 --> 01:23:12,319
His father is reminded
of watching westerns

1061
01:23:12,399 --> 01:23:14,640
when he was a boy, saying,

1062
01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:17,800
"My life is still conditioned
by six-gun cowboys

1063
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:19,239
hiding behind rocks,

1064
01:23:19,319 --> 01:23:21,279
whispering
how it's too quiet."

1065
01:23:23,520 --> 01:23:25,520
Unlike in movies,

1066
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:27,600
perhaps there is no
character arc,

1067
01:23:27,680 --> 01:23:29,159
no redemption,

1068
01:23:29,239 --> 01:23:30,399
no closure,

1069
01:23:31,079 --> 01:23:32,680
just time running out.

1070
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:35,600
For his son
if they can no longer afford

1071
01:23:35,680 --> 01:23:38,520
the medication
that keeps him seizure-free,

1072
01:23:38,600 --> 01:23:40,119
and for the rest of us

1073
01:23:40,199 --> 01:23:43,000
in our refusal to read
the writing on the wall

1074
01:23:43,079 --> 01:23:45,479
when it is staring us
in the face.

1075
01:24:29,520 --> 01:24:34,119
♪ The sun is sinking
in the west

1076
01:24:35,039 --> 01:24:39,239
♪ The cattle go down
to the stream

1077
01:24:40,399 --> 01:24:44,760
♪ The redwing settles
in the nest

1078
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:50,520
♪ It's time for a cowboy
to dream

1079
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,000
♪ Purple light

1080
01:24:58,520 --> 01:25:00,680
♪ In the canyons

1081
01:25:02,079 --> 01:25:04,039
♪ That's where I

1082
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,600
♪ Long to be

1083
01:25:09,119 --> 01:25:11,439
♪ With my three

1084
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:15,079
♪ Good companions

1085
01:25:16,279 --> 01:25:21,640
♪ Just my rifle,
my pony and me

1086
01:25:23,319 --> 01:25:26,800
♪ Gonna hang

1087
01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:30,439
♪ My sombrero

1088
01:25:30,520 --> 01:25:33,960
♪ On the limb

1089
01:25:34,039 --> 01:25:37,479
♪ Of a tree

1090
01:25:37,560 --> 01:25:40,960
♪ Riding to

1091
01:25:41,039 --> 01:25:44,439
♪ Amarillo

1092
01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:49,920
♪ Just my rifle,
my pony and me

1093
01:25:51,399 --> 01:25:54,800
♪ Whippoorwill

1094
01:25:54,880 --> 01:25:58,319
♪ In the willow

1095
01:25:58,399 --> 01:26:01,880
♪ Sings a sweet

1096
01:26:01,960 --> 01:26:05,399
♪ Melody

1097
01:26:05,479 --> 01:26:08,720
♪ Comin' home

1098
01:26:08,800 --> 01:26:12,439
♪ My sweetheart darlin'

1099
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:18,159
♪ Just my rifle,
my pony and me

1100
01:26:19,079 --> 01:26:20,600
♪ Hit it, Gal Go, hey ♪

1101
01:26:47,359 --> 01:26:50,800
♪ No more cows

1102
01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:54,279
♪ To be ropin'

1103
01:26:54,359 --> 01:26:57,720
♪ No more strays

1104
01:26:57,800 --> 01:27:01,239
♪ Will I see

1105
01:27:01,319 --> 01:27:04,560
♪ Round the bend

1106
01:27:04,640 --> 01:27:08,239
♪ Oh, she'll be waitin'

1107
01:27:08,319 --> 01:27:13,600
♪ Just my rifle,
my pony and me

1108
01:27:15,279 --> 01:27:18,159
♪ Just my rifle

1109
01:27:19,239 --> 01:27:21,920
♪ My pony

1110
01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:24,720
♪ And me ♪

1111
01:29:25,239 --> 01:29:28,239
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