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Looks pretty dead.
Should we just go?
Didn't book, eh?
Thought we'd just try our luck.
Wouldn't recommend it Especially not you.
Okay, yeah why's that?
Last group he took out, there was a young fella,
looked like you, college kid.
He was takin' a piss off the side of the boat
and a bull shark jumped up.
Bit his dick off
Ooh, I don't like your chances.
Tuck only started his holidays today
and he don't interrupt his hols for no one
Speak of the devil Here he is
Milo, shut up!
Mate, you won't need that
we got some live chum for ya here.
Ah Who do we have here, then?
Greg
Tucker American?
Canadian.
Ah, lucky escape
And this friendly face belongs to?
Heather - Ah!
Let her answer for herself, Greg.
I'm Heather
Heather, lovely Let me guess Pom?
Oh! Not bloody supposed to say that anymore, are we?
No, it's fine Um, English, yes.
Mate, I told 'em you were on hols, Tuck.
Ahh So, where are you two love birds staying, then?
Oh, we're not together Um
Just-just staying at the hostel.
Okay - Sorry we didn't book.
We were supposed to go to Sea World
with a bunch of others, but we slept in.
It was a big night
Yeah, I bet
Sorry.
So, uh
I guess no one even knows you guys are here, then?
Why?
Just wanna make sure your last will and testament's in order.
We will be swimming with sharks, after all.
Oh
Sweet!
So I'm seven years old,
I'm out there on my boogie board,
splashing around in the shallows, you know,
scrawny little arms and legs kinda flapping away.
Swimmin' out there and
I dunno, I guess from underneath
I must've looked like a seal.
Fuckin' boom!
This bloody white gets me
And it just let you go?
Yeah.
You are looking at a genuine walkin', talkin' miracle.
- Did it hurt? - It didn't tickle.
It didn't tickle.
Woke me up, though You know?
And I've been wide awake ever since.
And this was just random?
I mean, apparently there was a sign
about a shark sighting or something, but.
Oopsie.
Wasn't there someone watching you?
Well.
Let's just say I used to spend a lot of time on my own.
I just can't believe you do this for a living
I'd never go near water again after that.
It's not the shark's fault
- You okay? - Yep.
It's fine Yep - It'll be alright.
It's gonna be a great experience.
Yep
Alright, crew!
Enough foreplay Let's, uh, get you two wet.
Oh - I got you.
Oh, my God I can't believe I let you talk me into this
Oh, it's a mako Cheetahs of the sea.
I can't do it
I I can't do.
Well, not yet you can't.
'Cause there's still one thing we need to take care of.
Now, listen,
this is a very special, ancient relaxation practice
that, uh, was taught to me,
and it took many years at sea to master.
If you'll just go with me here, I promise you it'll help.
Mm-hm - Close your eyes.
Take a big, deep inhale
And out
And in
And out
What??
No.
It only works if you sing along
I can't.
Come on, Heather!
Here comes Mummy.
Oh, my God, that was amazing!
Shits all over Sea World, eh?
You can say that again.
Yeah, something to tell the grand kiddies one day.
Dude, so awesome
Yeah.
Oh, man, thanks so much for fitting us in
Welcome aboard
Should be there Did you look where I said?
Yeah, I looked I can't find the jumper cables.
Oh, must be out, then Sorry
Don't suppose you have any?
Nup.
What's up?
Hey How's it going?
Cracker day out there, eh?
Hey Me again
Yeah, dude, I said I can't help you.
Look, you really don't have jumper cables? For this?
What can I say? I live life on the edge.
I think the cashier might want to see that security footage.
Are you serious?
Is this really what you're doing? You're blackmailing me
I just need to get to my car I've walked, like, ten blocks and I can't find any.
I'm not a serial killer, okay?
Promise.
Aisle or window?
I have I have this theory that, um,
aisle people are more open and friendly.
Whereas window people are more, um, private and thoughtful.
Getting major window vibes.
Is this a Mormon thing?
'Cause I'm not joining, so you can save it.
Why would you think I'm a Mormon?
Dude, you look like you stepped out of The Book of Mormon.
Okay, yeah.
No, I'm, uh I'm in real estate
Great.
Selling apartments, not eternal salvation.
Will you shut the fuck up?
Uh, yep.
Yep.
Nice wheels.
It was my mum's She gave me a good deal.
Is that your mum's too?
So, where you been surfing?
Oh, uh, Snapper mostly.
It's been good The peak's a little shifty though.
Yeah Do you want to know a local secret?
Okay.
You can't tell a soul, though.
Window person, remember?
Yeah Right.
Okay, well, next time you paddle out,
you want look to shore for the blue bench.
Alright? You want to sit right in the middle of that bench.
You'll double your wave count.
Thanks.
And, look, for the record,
I I never would have narked about the Slurpee.
No, yeah, I
probably shouldn't have judged a book by its cover,
so we're good.
Moses Markley.
Zephyr.
Nice to meet you, Zephyr.
Now go start your car.
Yes, ma'am
Yes!
You're a lifesaver.
You bet - Thank you.
You're a Creedence fan, huh?
Hell yeah Are you into 'em?
Yeah, sure Just not this song.
What's what's wrong with Ooby dooby?
Dude, you have Fortunate Son
about poor kids fighting rich people's wars.
And then you have Long As I Can See the Light
about, like, an outsider searching to feel understood.
And
and then you have Ooby fucking dooby,
you know, about some goofy ass dance?
I just I don't know, yeah It's a bad song, objectively.
Okay The dance is a metaphor.
The song's about love - Wow.
It's about that ooby dooby feeling you get in your heart...
Okay - when you find the one
and you just gotta go for it.
Because what's the alternative?
Oh - Wait, what?
What?
Fin key.
- Give me a number. - No way.
Oh, come on I won't judge Promise.
Okay.
Nine.
Nine?! Fuck.
Oh, fuck off! You just said no judgement.
Yeah, but nine bread rolls in one day?
What can I say?
The waves were all-time and bread rolls are cheap.
Not that you have to worry about that
You have deep psychological issues.
Mm!
I'm honoured you'd waste one on me.
It's not wasted.
Do you know how many preservatives
are in these things?
I don't care.
Mmm You know I've got real food inside, right?
Even have running water.
It's kind of a miracle.
I'm good.
So, what got you into surfing?
Because
it's us against the system.
The system that kills the human spirit.
We stand for something.
To all those dead souls,
inching along the freeway in their metal coffins,
we show them that the human spirit is still alive.
You did not just quote Point Break at me.
Maybe
Mm, but, really
what got you into surfing?
Because there was nothing for me on land
Mmm.
Oh
Shit.
Hello?
Anyone here?
Hey, if you can hear me, I'm just looking for a fin key
I promise I'll bring it back.
G'day!
- Jesus! - Yeah, not quite Tucker.
Sorry, man, I was just looking for a...
Fin key Yeah, I got you covered.
Let's see what we can do here.
You're pretty brave, surfing up here all alone.
That rip can get pretty hectic.
You're alone, aren't you?
Touché.
Here y'are.
Thanks I'll bring it right back.
Ah I got heaps.
Cool Appreciate ya
Hi - What is this?
What Where are we?
We're on his boat.
Whose fucking boat?
I
Sorry about the smell
- No one... - Help!
No one can hear.
- Somebody help! - I already tried that.
Help!
Shit.
What are you looking for?
Something to get these fucking cuffs off.
You know how to pick a lock?
What do we need?
Something long and thin like a hairpin
What is it?
Nothing.
Mmm!...?
Is there anyone that'll come looking for you?
Boyfriend or anything?
There was this guy.
We did the shark dive together.
But.
What?
I don't think you want to know.
Is anyone looking for you?
No.
Look, her van was towed She wouldn't let that happen.
Okay? It's her home Where's she gonna sleep?
Look, mate, these transient types living in their cars...
She's not like that.
How long you known this girl?
I mean, I mean, it was just it was just one night.
Or a day and a night.
A solid 10, 11 hours in total, but
it's not about the quantity, it's about the quality.
- What was her name? - Um, Zephyr
Last name?
Oh.
You don't know her last name?
No, I don't
I should've listened
My mum didn't want me taking a gap year.
We had the worst fight about it before I left
Now I'm never going to see her again
I'm never gonna see anyone again.
Why didn't she want you to take it?
Because of this.
She was worried it wasn't safe.
You see
all these stories on the news about travellers and.
She also didn't want me drifting from the plan.
The plan?
Law school.
House on the same street.
That sounds like her plan.
It's your life.
You should tell her that when you see her again
Why are you here?
In Australia, I mean.
To surf.
Get as far away from home as possible.
Is your family back in America?
Which one?
I got a lot of fuckin' foster parents to pick from.
Is that why you know how to pick a lock?
What do you mean?
Are you from juvie or something?
Sorry, I didn't I didn't mean to presume.
The only thing I learned in juvie
is to sleep with one eye open and a shit ton of bad jokes.
Can you tell me one?
Not really in a joke telling mood right now.
Just to think about something else for one second.
Please.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
What?
A man
That is so true
Is that an underwire?
- Yeah It's cutting the shit... - Give it to me!
- Wait, is this for... - Yes, yes, the fucking lock!
Quick.
Sorry I'm trying
Good evening, ladies.
Trust you've had a chance to get acquainted.
Now you, must be starving.
Oh, not a Vegemite fan?
Well, I suppose you wouldn't be
the first foreigner to feel that way, eh?
There you go, just in case.
Water?
Really?
It's a thousand bloody degrees in here.
Mm, please yourself - Wait, wait.
Hang on, what's happened to yer...
Hey, asshole
I'm ready for my dinner now.
Oh, if looks could kill.
Have you ever heard of the scarlet kingsnake?
Oh, she's a harmless creature
but quite cleverly mimics
the colourful stripes of the deadly coral snake.
Now, you're trying hard to be the coral snake, but
we both know that's me.
And you
well, you just have a very pretty pattern.
Mm
Tastes like fear.
Hooroo
Are you alright?
Fuck
What's going on?
Hold on, I have to concentrate
Have you got it?
Hold on a sec.
Zephyr?
I I don't feel good
Oh, no.
Aw
Ah.
You're a fighter.
I love fighters.
Makes for a better show
What is this?
Why is there a camera?
That's perfect.
Stunning, isn't it?
What is this? What are you doing?
Now, most people think
that God is
up here, but no.
God's down there.
Where it all started.
Where it all ends.
So I fish at your beach, and a couple others, 'n.
I was really hoping it'd be you.
You know, I see you, like, come alive on that board.
It's
spiritual.
And I don't surf, but I feel the same about what I do.
It's.
It's my true calling
Don't you fucking touch her!
Hey!
Heather?
Hey? There you are.
There you are.
Do you know why sharks are more scary than mosquitoes
even though mosquitoes kill a million people each year?
I don't fucking care.
It's because people don't think with their brains.
They think with their guts.
No, your guts can't understand mass-murdering insects
and microscopic diseases.
Now, what your guts understand
is 300 razor sharp teeth
and 2500 pounds of muscle tearing flesh from bone.
What your guts understand
is the hierarchy of animals in this world
No!
God No
Stop!
Stop! Please stop! Please stop!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
See, the thing about sharks is
they don't actually enjoy eating people.
I want my mum - She's just a kid.
When they do attack, it's unquestionably a case of
mistaken identity.
But, you know, you throw chum overboard day after day
so tourists can get their kicks,
and pretty soon sharks start to associate boats with food.
Now, some might argue that this is a recipe for more accidents.
I'm inclined to agree with 'em
Stop!
Please stop! Please stop!
Pull her up!
Stop! Fucking stop!
No! Pull her up! Pull her up!
Pull her up, please!
Tell me that ain't the greatest show on Earth.
Oh, come on, don't be like that
I know you ladies don't like playing second fiddle,
but it'll be your time to shine tomorrow night
["Evie"
Fuck!
May I?
Ah, come on, I know what you're thinking,
but a joke's only funny once.
Hey, listen, you've lost a lot of fluid.
And you know, you're gonna need your strength later.
Where's that fight I saw in ya, huh?
Get away from me, you twisted fuck.
Do you understand what happens to the ecosystem
if you remove the shark?
Alright? Their prey operates without constraint.
But the shark.
The shark brings order.
And without this, chaos reigns.
And
weaker creatures just think they can do whatever they want
Jesus Give me a fucking break
I've never met anyone
who likes the sound of their voice so much.
Don't compare yourself to the shark.
They're highly evolved.
You're just a pathetic coward
who kills women because Mummy never loved you
or whatever.
You are the lowest of the low.
A worm.
Even lower than a worm.
You are the toxic fucking trash that floats in the ocean.
Hm.
I noticed you haven't used the facilities yet.
Ah.
Might want to consider that.
You know, things can tend to get a little
undignified
Oh!
Hello?
Help I need help
Help.
Help!
Ah, at least someone's having a good time
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
You be careful with that.
Hey You fuckin' put that down.
You put that down,
or you won't even make it to the fuckin' hook.
Ah!
No!
[clangs cuff
Help!
[clangs cuff
Help!
Hey, Milo, shut up.
Hey, Tucky!
Mate, I thought you were gone all week.
Gotta get some supplies.
- It's not like you to run out. - First time for everything.
Mate, I got somethin' for ya.
Mate, will you stop?
I got something good for us.
What?
Yesterday some rich wanker, right,
pulls up with his rich wanker kid on a rich wanker boat.
But it was nice, mate They want to go divin'
I tell 'em, the Tuck's on hols, mate.
But now since you're back maybe we can catch 'em
before they go, mate
I got their number just in case.
It's on one of these.
I I reckon
there's gonna be a nice tip in this for you.
Maybe there's a little finder's fee for the old Davearoo, mate?
Ahoy there.
Tucker's Shark Experience is currently closed
while your captain takes a well-earned holiday.
Please call back after the 13th and I'll introduce you
to the most misunderstood creatures on Earth
Uh, hi Um, I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking for.
But, uh just give me a call back, please.
Thanks
Will ya fuckin' move?
What?
Help! I'm down here!
Oh, fuck.
Hey, hey.
Thank you.
You gotta go find a paperclip
or a skewer or fucking something to pick the locks
I'll talk you through it Quick, before he comes back.
Go!
And call the cops!
Poli...!
Help
If you need assistance
but are unable to speak, press any key.
Where the fuck did you come from?
- Tucker, are you alright, mate? Are you... - Hello?
Moses!
- Please! - Hello?
- Jesus, what... - Help!
Mate, have you got a sheila down here I don't know about?
Fuck, Tuck
Oh, God What did you do to him?
Moses!
Zeph
I'm right here.
I fucked up the rescue.
You almost stuck it.
Mm.
Some hero I turned out to be.
Coming to find me's hero enough.
Don't suppose you got through to the cops?
I didn't get to say where we were
Why are we stopping?
That bad, huh?
Why'd you do a runner that morning?
I told you Early bird gets the barrel.
Bullshit.
Tell me you didn't feel it.
I'm just better off alone.
No one's better off alone.
No, that's just something people say.
No, it's not.
You don't know me You don't
I know you.
I know you dig Creedence.
I know you're
in the Guinness Book of Records
for the most bread rolls consumed in one day
I know you're tough.
And I know you're really warm.
And funny.
I know.
No, I sense
that you haven't had as much
kindness in your life as you deserve.
Stop.
That's why you ran.
Because
it's hard to trust when all you know is why you shouldn't
Moses, I really don't have the strength for this right now
No, you can't
I've decided to add a matinee
Holy fuck.
Who the fuck is that?
No!
Argh!
Wait Wait, wait, wait No, he's not a tourist.
He drives his mum's Volvo, for fuck's sake.
He has money Think about it.
They're never gonna stop looking for him.
Don't be fucking stupid
No!
Moses!
Help!
Help! No!
Fuck!
[whispers to himself.
Fuck!
Wait!
Put me up instead - Zeph, no!
Please! He doesn't deserve this.
Aw How romantic.
It's too bad I'm more of a horror fan
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck!
Argh!
Don't you fucking move.
Be as still as you possibly can
That's a bull shark.
Most culled shark in the ocean.
Serious anger issues
Oh, my God
No!
Fuck you!
Arghh!
That oughta ring the dinner bell!
Fuck!
Please don't do this
Yeah, fuck, yeah
Fuck
Brief intermission, ladies and gentlemen
Moses
Where's the fuck'n thing?
Go on.
Keep goin'
Fuck
Guessing he's not hungry
Look, if it's any consolation, you
you weren't right for each other.
He's soft and gooey.
You're hard.
You're hard as nails
like me.
I'm nothing like you.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, you and me
we're sharks.
Solitary creatures.
We fend for ourselves
I got a feeling that
tonight's show is going to be one for the ages
Fuck.
It's probably a good thing you can't see this
Yes, yes!
Oh, my God
No Fuck
Argh!
Agh!
Zeph Zeph.
Now, I know you think you don't want to watch
but deep down you do.
That's the thing about us men, man.
We don't really know what's inside
until it pops out.
And once that happens, there's really no stuffing it back in
Now, can either of you tell me
why the marlin is the sports fisherman's fish of choice?
Anyone? I'll give you a hint.
It's not because of her size
and it's not because of her beauty.
It's because of her fight.
See, every fisherman loves a good fight.
And you'll get a marlin and you'll fuckin' bring her
right in there, you'll get her up to the boat
and you'll think you got her and then fuckin', "Zzzzz!"
She makes another run for it.
And it's fuckin' exhilarating, man.
But the thing the fish doesn't realise
is that once that hook sets,
no matter how hard she runs,
it doesn't matter how many times
she's already in the boat.
And the game's rigged.
You know.
'Cause it's life and death for the fish,
but for the fisherman
it's just an afternoon of good old-fashioned fun.
Fun can't last forever though, can it?
Nah, nah.
Nah, sooner or later, the marlin must meet her fate
Oh, I'd hoped this'd be one for the ages.
I was right
[chuckles in disbelief.
Fuck, she's gonna turn those little arms and legs
into toothpicks.
Right, places, please!
And
action!
Oh, fuck.
- Oh, fuck, be calm Be calm. - Stop, stop, stop Stop.
Stop!
Oh, fuck
Oi!
Get ya...
Go on, get out! It's not your night! Fuck...
Where are ya?
I know you're there, babe, or the bull wouldn't have left.
You just won't quit, will ya, Marlin?
Behind you!
Boo!
Argh!
Where are ya, Marlin?
Ooby dooby, motherfucker
Zeph!
Zeph
Moses? Hey Moses.
Hey, hey Moses, wake up.
Wake up.
W... Moses, please wake up.
Hey
Help!
Moses Hey.
Hey Mo? Wake up
Moses, wake up Help is on the way.
Hey, please wake up Please.
Hey Hey, hey
Moses, hey, I want to tell you something.
When I said there's nothing for me on land,
there's you.
Okay?
Please wake up.
Oh, my God.
I knew it